#sometimes especially in the small things
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pt 18372948 of why i am literally so lucky to have such an amazing friend
#i mean yes absolutely ofc i love the goodies but the letter :(#it's crazy to me that i can somehow make a friend who is halfway across the entire world. an entire ocean away.#and still feel so much love for them and from them <3 the internet has its downfalls but i'll take it all in exchange for this#i've had friends for 9+ years that i see on a monthly-ish basis forget about my bday#but a friend i have never met irl remembers my favorite color and knows my candy preferences and sees things that remind them of me#idk where i'm going with this but humanity is beautiful. life is beautiful. even in the small things.#sometimes especially in the small things#i love you kai <3#idk where i'm going with this lfkajdlfkaldf just remembering life is worth living
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I can’t help but get ideas wandering down the “miniatures” isle in craft stores



Any borrower I knew would be set for life, let me tell you
#I love looking at these#especially things that are functional#mini lights run on batteries and things of that nature#it’s fun to buy them sometimes#giant/tiny#g/t community#miniatures#small items#doll accessories
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4am slasher doodle to recover from the fact i spent 2 days hand sewing a shirt that i don’t even like the fit of HELP

you can NOT tell but his necklace is made of teeth hehehe
whoever it was that reblogged the last drawing i did of him saying they thought he was cool and u dug through posts to find him……. you gave me a crazy case of the smiles lemme tell ya /vpos
oh how i would love to lore dump about him…. if he had any solid lore to dump about
#he has a lot of mental problems to dump about tho thats one thing!#more rambles in tags#as always#creepypasta oc#creepypasta oc art#artsona#sona art#artist sona#my sona#art#small artist#artists on tumblr#my artwork#sketch#he has a whole playlist…. should i drop#i really do need to put aside some time to JUST write out a solid backstory for him#especially in my more ‘serious’/non slendermansion au#which this is him in that btw#not that there’s much of a difference visually but in slendermansion he’s a lot less of a disaster lets put it that way#also guys does he look androgynous guys#he’s canonically major androgynous and i can only hope i get that point across when drawing the freak#anyway. i’d like to experiment more stylistically and sketchbooking is such a good way to do that#small art dump soon perhaps? perhaaapss😋#anyone who has ever enjoyed him ever i love yall /p#is he an edgy self insert creepypasta oc? hell yeah but he also means so much to me LMAO im delighted that people enjoy him :3#slasher fans reveal yourselves so i can give you all a goodie bag of joy and wonder and whimsy and all of you life dreams being achieved#sometimes i feel weird posting him sm bc im like the fine people of tumblr dont wanna see my little oc but then i remember its TUMBLR#and creepypasta ocs are fucking awesome idk why i beat myself up#and EVERY CREEPYPASTA IS AN OC i forget that means he is in fact canon#well. he will be. i WILL write him an actual story and then in my own personal mind he will be canon and real
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just got around to watching the algarve finish and HAH. but seriously everyone involved riders and crowd both were so lucky it wasn't so busy
#is fining race organisers the best move when these problems (like at besseges) are caused by LACK of money?#or lack of training/personell (all of which require money)#like. all races require a lot of organisation and support from local authorities#but beyond advertising they don't make ANY money. can't sell tickets to a public road#and i do NOT think cycling should be ticketed no WAY that would ruin a lot of things#but like. does the uci provide training materials/info to race marshals so they're all informed of standards and best practices?#i don't know what they do but from a complete outsiders perspective it feels like the race organisers sometimes get too much schtick#they deserve some schtick because. you had One job (especially if it's a big race. Glares at vuelta)#but .1s /.2s like. they're gonna be on small/shoestring budgets and the sport of cycling as a whole needs these smaller races#like the wt (and certain teams/races within the wt) cannot keep growing/getting further and further from the rest of the sport#without adequate support for the rest of the sport#sorry just thinking out loud#partially about the demise of british road cycling teams that aren't ineos and british cycling's mismanagement of TOB#and like. when small French races too are struggling it's not a good sign :_
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it's so hard yet inspiring to get feedback on my writing.
#especially from professionals in my field#i feel so so so small compared to them#yet they offer good feedback on how to improve my writing#and how to better engage with the audience i have at work#but it's so so hard to accept sometimes that it wasn't perfect the first time around lol#things i need to work on :)#nova speaks#about my life
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In my imagination of red and leaf being twins and both autistic I think the only reason leaf doesn't have the same totally blank 😐 face as red is because she did the age old classic of practicing facial expressions in the mirror every day until she learned the basic ones. She also made her default expression a smile 🙂 to seem more approachable.
Unfortunately since the expressions don't come naturally to her and she had to learn them, the can come off as exaggerated/overly dramatic. Which is fine for some people but others find it equally as off-putting as reds poker face. It makes her a little sad when people dislike her because of it bc shes doing her best to fit in but can't seem to get it right.
She puts a lot of effort into masking at least when she's a kid-teenager but once she's older and has made more solid friendships she can let herself relax and not need to stress about it so much, although in social situations she may still slip back into old habits.
Red does not mask and never really has. I choose 2 believe his mom was really supportive and accommodating so he wasn't forced to hide his autistic traits unlike leaf. This is because in my au they are twins but their parents split and leaf had to stay with their dad. Who is not as understanding as their mom.
Idk if he'd be actually horrible to her but he was not as patient or understanding as their mom + leaf also just craved more friends and wanted to be able to socialize more so she eventually learned how. Red is content with the 4 people he knows (mom, oak, daisy, green) and prefered to mostly be alone so he didn't have that motivating factor to do it.
He was very content with having one friend, green, but he was def lonley during their "rival" phase when green stopped hanging out with him and was focused on trying to prove himself in some way only he understood or worried about. Along with that is green also being the master of masking for the most part. I don't see oak as being particularly accommodating and patient with him so while Daisy probably was, she's also not a parent so she couldn't be responsible for caring for green the way oak should've been.
As they got older green also craved to be seen as cool and popular amongst his peers so he started masking heavily and also distanced himself from red. Unfortunately he realizes that being accepted for a fake version of himself by mainly strangers is actually very lonley and he misses their friendship 😢 but atp he probably figures red wouldn't wanna be friends again bc of how green ignored him for so long so I think they don't become close again until After the gym challenge "rivalry"/red dissapearing/reuniting years later. So they were both missing each other a lot but both felt unable to reach out bc of the distance that grew between them when green pulled away. Anyways tldr green pro masker leaf trying very hard to mask but struggling a bit and red rawdogging his autism never masked a day in his life.
#green is better at masking in the sense that he doesnt struggle with facial expressions and can mimick others social behaviours pretty well#he really learned via watching others and practicing fake conversations in his head until he could navigate most conversations well#he does still have times where he did not account for certain factors or new situations so he has to observe and learn some more lol#leaf struggles with socializing even when she watches and tries to copy bc unlike green who is naturally a bit dramatic and animated#she instead leans heavily into having flat affect like red. she also struggles really hard with picking up on other ppls intent/feelings#the type of person who isnt sure what the emotion were feeling right now is bc she also struggles to identify her own feelings sometimes#red does that too. part of why hes very avoidant and internalizes everything is that he often can't identify exactly what hes feeling#and if he can he doesn't know how to make it feel better/would rather ignore it and try to focus on something else#green tries to internalize his negative emotions but i think hed struggle with it so he js def the type to bottle things up for awhile#but he quickly gets overwhelemed and ends up having a bit of a meltdown when he can't hold it in any more#hes very reactive. part of why his and oaks relationship is difficult to mend is bc green gets very easily triggered by any small jabs oak#makes at him even jf theyre unintentional especially if he compares him/his strength as a trainer to red#when red dissapears it would get worse bc he is constantly weighed down by guilt and can end up lashing out a bit#especially with his bpd making him prone to mood swings/very strong emotions he struggles to process#he gets better at it as he gets older but it's really overwhelming and difficult as a kid/teen bc oak is 0 help and daisy#does what she can to hell him when she can but shes his sister not his mom. im not making her take on a parental role she is also a kid#anyways. thjs js ungodly long#trainer red#trainer leaf#green oak#blue oak#pokemon headcanons
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(mgv) the first few heats after giselle's birth leave house consumed with parental devotion. he is protective to an insane degree and if she isn't gone to stay with someone before his heat really kicks in, any and all energy that would have gone into sex instead goes to being feral over the baby. example:
house and their pup are curled up in a nest he has carefully constructed for Maximum Comfort + Hide, practically wrapped around her as they nap. wilson left earlier to go grab a snack house had asked for and got sidetracked while at the store (keeps finding stuff they may want/need/might like and it becomes a Whole Thing) so he ended up being gone for long enough that house dozed off. when he comes back and house hears the sound of the front door unlocking, his eyes shoot open and he's instantly growling -- he's not even really awake, just running on pure instinct while his brain struggles to catch up. it's enough that when wilson walks in and hears it he stops on reflex -- an omega, in heat, nesting, with a pup, growling? alpha weakness. shakes them to their blood even when it's their omega because when instincts run high like that. even those in bonded pairs will tread carefully because the omega will Not Hesitate. it's not until wilson hesitantly calls out to him that house shakes himself out of it ("rrrrmrrgghhrrr--" " 😰 house?" "--rrrmpp?"). then when wilson walks in with the snack and whatever other little tokens he found he plays it extra safe as an apology for being gone for so long; keeping his head bowed, placating notes in the scent he puts out, staying a respectful distance away from the nest until house explicitly permits him to come closer (house rolls his eyes when wilson hesitates to enter the nest even though he so clearly wants to)
#look you can hire an actual sitter with this ->#all you have to do is make sure when we come to pick her back up she has *your* scent on her so house doesn't find out#house mgv#hilson#house md#mgv#copy pasted from discord wojaflamh them folks over there get me on a roll sometimes#house hates leaving her for someone else to take care of especially when she's still so small#claims it's for health or developmental reasons but really he's just incredibly attached#his top 3 options for babysitting are chase thirteen or cuddy but they're all doctors so. yeah#luckily wilson was prepared for that. he brings her over and sneaks them some money like#once they meet nora the process has a lot less steps bc she can actually just watch giselle herself. i think#i haven't met her yet idk what she does but we're running on the assumption she is Not as busy as a doctor. plus she thinks giselle is ->#just the cutest thing and is glad to have her for herself for a few days
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sometimes it seems I must be a contrarian in every fandom space, even my main niches kajdjdj. I never feel this in the jason fandom as much as I do whenever u guys make your dog-coded jason posts... like, okay, maybe for your prime earth guy. but as someone firmly in the "new earth jason and reboot jason are two separate characters, and unless I explicitly remark otherwise, assume I only hold the pre-reeboot version in my mind" camp... that guy is a CAT 😾
#the other time i really feel this is whenever there's willis discourse#that guy just isn't that important to jason's journey#talking to the void#my thoughts#dc#dc thoughts#dc comics#jason todd#fandom nonsense#aljfjfjf the dog cat thing seems small but i swear it really shows in characterisation stuff sometimes xD#fanfic especially needs more cat jason#large cat jason...
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I am liking Jujutsu Kaisen, way more than I imagined I would, but I foresee it will let me down and it's keeping me from enjoying this as much as I could haha
I think the characters and dynamics are well set, and I think many of them have an incredibly good and deep potential, but I would be willing to bet they'll not get a proper development, enough for them to really hit. A well assembled set of gears is not enough to make the movement go, you have to wind the clockwork.
I think Gojo and Megumi have a fascinating and very complex dynamic, but I doubt it will be given the time and care that imo it needs to actually work. And it is going well enough for now! One could see the intimacy between them was deeper than the one Gojo had with, say, Yuji and Nobara ever since the very first few episodes despite the fact Fushiguro too was a first year. But the pieces forming what they have are extremely complex, and it just wouldn't be realistic if it doesn't show, even if in a not showing way, or if it doesn't have consequences or implications.
It's one of those dynamics that shape one's life, the way one regards the world, the way one establishes or not relationships with other people. It's one of those dynamics that could be full of fondness, gratitude, resentment, admiration, trust, and that imply intimacy, the good kind or the bad, even if in just the knowledge of someone who's been a constant through your life. It could, and would, imply a myriad of feelings, and probably in such a mix it could imply contradictory feelings too. Even the nothingness would weight, even the nothingness would be significant and meaningful.
Gojo took Megumi and his sister under his wing, the son of a man who murdered him, because of both selfish and selfless reasons. Megumi looks like Toji. What does Gojo feel about this? How does Gojo deal with this? How does Gojo go about taking care of Megumi? Would he walk him to school? Make him breakfast? Celebrate his birthdays making him blow candles? Did he take him to the zoo? Does the relationship between them feel professional or is it something more? Gojo appreciates his students, but is Megumi to him just another student? When Gojo faces Sukuna in Megumi's body, did he see the kid he raised, or does he just see Sukuna in one of his students' body? Did he have one faint wavering instant? And how does Megumi feel about this? Is he resentful of him? Resentful of the situation? Of the selfishness behind his actions? Does he feel like a pawn? Is he grateful? Does he resent feeling grateful? Would he rather not? Does he love Gojo? Does he feel nothing about him other than what he could feel about a teacher that sort of annoys him but knows he's reliable in his strength? Does he think it unfair, cruel or unfeeling that Gojo is close, closer perhaps, with Yuuji or Yuta, considering their story? When Sukuna slices Gojo in two, does the remnants of Megumi's soul tremble?
And not just Megumi and Gojo. Yuuji and Nanami, Gojo and Nanami, Yuuji and Fushiguro, Nobara and the boys, or Nobara and Maki, Todo and Yuuji or Yuta, Gojo and Yuta, Megumi and his sister. Gojo and Geto, even! If the pieces are well set, the dynamics are intriguing, interesting, and have potential to be deep, but then the characters have like two plot relevant scenes that punch you hard, but little more, it's not nearly enough. Especially not nearly enough for the enormity that is shonen dynamics and situations. And the potential existing at all, and then not delivering, makes it all the more frustrating when you're left with something mediocre that could have been so good.
The development of dynamics through not only a few plot relevant gut wrenching moving scenes, but also the smallness of life, is important. The friend who recommended this to me said that those things were just unnecessary filler, but I disagree. I think there's a big difference between a large amount of anime-only filler episodes whose existence is based on the fact they had run out of manga chapters to animate, and moments of quietness. The low stakes character-driven moments of quietness can be so telling and so insightful, and they are so satisfactory when brought back later in higher stakes situations. My friend teased me there was no scene of Gojo making breakfast to Megumi, that it would be an idiotic idea, but it would be so telling. How he makes breakfast, what they eat, if he tries hard or if it's all mechanised, if they have personal bowls or if they use whatever, if he just buys them some pastry on the way to school, if the way they have breakfast changes through the years, or if he doesn't make them breakfast at all! All that would be very insightful on their dynamic and its evolution. All that would give a glimpse on how they regard each other and why, even in the present. All that could become meaningful in tense situations and high stakes scenes.
These moments also let the plot breath; if a lot is happening all the time, if every character is always experiencing trauma after trauma, the entire story is so emotionally draining that at some point you don't even care all that much. Besides, these nothing moments or low stakes plot arcs, besides deepening and developing dynamics, also let some in-world time pass, which would make the intimacy and bond between characters more believable imo; between Yuuji eating Sukuna's finger and their last confrontation in December how much time has passed? A few months? Am I truly to believe these characters are so everything to each other in only a few months?
Without some smallness, some repetition, some daily life, some low stakes not plot-centric development, the dynamics don't hit, they don't truly feel fleshed out, and dynamics as complex as the ones Megumi and Gojo have, or as supposedly meaningful as the one Megumi has with Yuuji or his sister, should be fleshed out if they're going to exist at all. Otherwise they'd risk making the writing feel awkward and fake. Besides, if the dynamics felt well fleshed out and realistic, they would shape the way the characters interact and act, and how they deal with situations, thus being plot relevant.
The shonen genre has so much happening all the time, the stakes are so high, the dynamics are so rooted in big events and the relationships carry enormous weight and implications. Yet they barely get developed, and it feels so stupid, so plain, the absence of something so important noticeable like a constant void, a shapeless nothingness present in every scene. It makes the characters feel like cardboard figures. Jujutsu Kaisen is already getting a better job than many, but I doubt it will do enough for what I've heard, and I fear I am bound to feel let down, and bound to feel unmoved.
After all, if not enough time and care has been given to develop a dynamic, I am not going to feel pressured by the high stakes; if not enough time and care has been given to develop the dynamic between Megumi and Yuuji, as good potential as it has I am bound to feel little for this last confrontation between Sukuna and Itadori, and his effort in getting Megumi back.
#It's not that I think everything has to be character driven or take a lot of care about dynamics#Death Note for instance works well without it. There's juice in the dynamic between Light and his father and the role of Matsuda there#and it works well with Light's views and their evolution and the whole Kira situation. It isn't much. It doesn't need more#But Death Note doesn't truly drop something as big as Gojo and Megumi to then do barely nothing about it#('But L and Watari' not the same at all. That was deepened in the anime and besides Watari is not one of the main characters)#Or Megumi and his sister. If we see barely nothing of Megumi and his sister other than shiny flashbacks of her#how am I to feel moved by it all beyond superficial emotions? I don't know. It just feels so like cardboard to me#And it annoys me! It annoys me a lot! Because Jujutsu Kaisen has amazing potential! The dynamics and characters could be amazing!#But I don't trust they'll live to their full potential and the potential existing for nothing is ruining this for me xD#Jujutsu Kaisen#Sorry this time I'm tagging it. I want to find this and see if I was right when I'm finished. I think I'll read the manga too#The condescending filler breakfast comment by my friend was ironic considering the Kramer vs. Kramer breakfast scenes exist#Breakfast can be so telling. And besides he loves the Chainsaw Man coffee scene so I don't get why not breakfast#But truly some small daily life moments can tell us a lot about a character that we could recognise later on in high stakes scenes#such as how they deal in tense situations‚ what makes them snap#how they go about dealing with a problem.#Sometimes it could be smaller moments or conversations what makes characters reconsider things‚ not just having Sukuna rip their heart out#In Pandora Hearts the conversation between Elliot and Oz about the book series they love and their favourite characters becomes key#Oz's development and how he regards things‚ his own person‚ and how he deals with situations will be shaped later on by this conversation#till the very end. The entire main character's development is shaped by a 'filler' conversation.It's not filler. It's just not a fight scen#Shonen manga readers find everything filler except for fights which is ironic considering that many fights in shonen feel unnecessary#Breakfast is unnecessary. Just filler. Fighting thirty seven secondary monsters or chapter after chapter of physical training is not. Okay#Things can be small but plot relevant. If it shapes and fleshes out and deepens a character or a relationship it is not filler#And mainly MAINLY for the love of everything good if you're going to make a fucked up or Meaningful Beyond Everything dynamic#give it time and care. Actually write it. Don't give me two panels and one conversation after some life and death situation. It's not enoug#Especially if I'm to believe they are important. Make me believe they actually are#I don't know... This issue with not trusting the development of very well set potential in Jujutsu Kaisen#has not only been keeping me from thoroughly enjoying the series‚ but actively keeping me from watching for weeks#It makes me doubt if I want to spend my time in this at all since after all time is limited and we can but spend it in a handful of things#A pity. I really love some things and I really think Megumi and Gojo could be everything to me haha the Heathcliff/Hareton vibe gets me
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hi im sorry to bug you i realized i accidentally made an oc looks similar to one you posted on twitter a long time ago and not part of your current roster of ocs. Im changing their outfit since it looks very close to one you made (total coincidence) sorry if you see them around. was not intending to copy you. I didnt know the art or the oc of yours
Thats totally ok! These things happen, and it has happened to me before so i understand~
#sometimes people can independantly come up with the same thing#its actually kinda cool#especially if it is genuinly a coincidence#like one of Vals outfit designs apparently looked like traditional outfits from a small community in like i think it was ukraine#and he uses a handaxe and they also used these like ceremonial hand axe#it was absoloutly a couinsidence i had never heard of these people#id based his outfit on a fashion line and gave him a hand axe cause he is just the kinda guy who would use one#so it all just kinda fell in the same line
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Godddd I fucking hate this ugh
This isn't about the rain btw
#peach speaks#zilla speaks#im tempted to leave a friend's server honestly but i really dont want to#but i might because an ex friend/a person who is very much still associated with a major ex friend is in there#and is a bit more active than i am#i know i should jyst block and move on but discord blocking can be fucking annoying sometimes#i dont wanna bring it up with anyone else or the friend who runs the server cause i dont wanna cause a problem#i already had to soft block two people now because of this shit#i really fucking hate this#but i especially hate causing issues or getting involved with shit#cause i know the outcome#i know itll end badly for me because im not white or popular#im small and people will say im trying to cause shit when im not#im just tired of this#and im getting tired of being scared again#why cant things get better#why cant i just get over shit
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Does anyone else get REALLY overwhelmed really fast when someone starts talking to you with your headphones on?
#ryders rambles#my mom keeps doing this thing#where she just starts talking conversationally to me when I have my headphones on and I have to ask her to repeat and then she#and it’s like I’m doing a thing right now please I’m in the middle of it I’m not stopping mid song to listen to this it will explode my#brain#and then she’ll sometimes tell me somthing important with them on and she’ll have me stop to listen real quick#and then when she’s done I’ll put them back on and she’ll watch me with her eyeballs and she’ll then remember somthing Else n just start#talking to me WITH THE HEADPHONES ON STILL#and I’m like?????#I Need people to understand if I’m wearing my headphones that means leave me alone Im not In the human beings mood#like I can’t be conversational all the time especially not with the women who traumatized me as child#slight vent#small vent#vent in tags#neurodivergent things#adhd#okay this feels like a trait of autism#but I’m not tagging it as such because I have no idea if I’m autistic or not so whatever#mental caboodle tag#4am#Ren Go to Sleep
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Jashtober Day 20- Gothic
Its an Announcer design!!
wahoo
#i have a good bunch of sketches to post eventually as well#small idea of connecting him to THDPH especially Chonny's Inferno#would draw them digitally and post em with this but I have things to do tomorrow so i have to sleep correctly for once#anyways tho. im thinkin about giving him the nickname Ace#starts with an A like announcer + the pair of aces line from SUYS#also the microphone/microphone stand is sorta taken from the one CJ uses sometimes in Vol 1#specifically Storm & a Spring at least#the string of lights on it at least lol#chonny jash#cj gothic lit#cj gw#jashtober#jashtober day 20#cj announcer#uhhhh do i make a tag since he's a bit different & like had added lore/story?#sure why not#cj ace#ace announcer#-atlas art-
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I am so lucky that the italian version of dunmeshi manga has run out of volume 1 with no current intention of a reprint. If the collection I found at Feltrinelli the other day happened to include all volumes you know I wouldve dumped 200 euros on it like nothing but I'm not gonna spend money on a collection that risks remaining incomplete forever
#I WAAAAANT A PHYSICAL COPYYYYY#is there like an omnibus available in english#whats the name of that in english#something with like. all manga chapters + little infr extras at least#i can deal with not having the world guide + daydream hours (< this is a lie but i can deal with that more than with not having the manga)#meowing to myself#i know they had a big collection of uzumaki by junji ito (which is a thing im deffo going to buy later this year)#you know how im somehow always at work? thats because i have to work extra hours to get extra money#to support my crippling 'having a roof over my head' addiction (literally my rent is half my pay ahahahaha)#but sometimes i get some walking around money to spend on manga#all my other hobbies are cheap! i enter into museums for free because of my job#i buy a lot of used books especially art books first eds cost a lot but used are often cheap and in mint condition#small artists dont have big pricsz#comics is literally the priciest hobby i have whenever i see something full price im like. whew
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the whole one hour and forty minutes of op stampede are worth it even just for that half a second of interaction between mihawk and zoro actually thank you and amen 🙏
#he saves his ass#and then looks at him and smirks......#ahshshshsjdjsh that's his dad!!!! healthy father son rivalry i say!!!!#tbh I don't usually feel like watching op movie much#i..... don't exactly read op for the fights and the movies are usually just fights so#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#but sometimes I'm in the specific mood of seeing weird team ups or interactions so i end up watching a bunch of movies one after the other#stampede is............eh#it's okay ig a bit too exaggerated for my tastes but that's just the op movies usual taste#only the movies can make me question how things work in the op universe btw usually I'm down for anything#but then i watch a movie and I'm like “is that really how that is supposed to work...?”#Anyway I'm always up for seeing law being treated as part of the crew#and my zoro stan heart cries when i say this but I'm sorta always up for seeing law act as a sub captain for the crew huhuhu#sorry first mate i swear i would never try to take your spot from you#anyway law picking up robin was sweet law seeking luffy as a safe space was beautiful sabo's........#everything but especially his interactions with smoker were fun#but like the whole movie was really more of just a spot the cameo than anything 😂 it's okay!!!#I'm not lying when i say watching it was worth it even just for zoro and mihawk#that's the small stuff i watch the movies for anyway huhuhu#next one....gold. i don't think i watched that yet either#that's for another day tho now sleep
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