#something like es Prowl

[keferon]

Please do explain the process I'm curious

Okay okay oka

So!

First of all, I carefully went through all the designs and noticed that many elements are repeated from character to character. Many of the characters share the same arms, legs, heads, and everything. Which led me to the idea that I don't need to imagine for myself what every element of Prowl's design looked like after getting the t-cog. I just need to see how the transformation changes the components Prowl is made of.

And what do you think - almost all of the parts Prowl is made of are found in other characters>:D

Next, all I need to do is look at how the transformation changed these pieces. And build Prowl's basic pieces out of them like a construction kit.

Now coloring is a tricky part.

It doesn't follow a clear system, but there are some vague patterns too.

The designs lean heavily on g1, so I took g1 Prowl as a basis. At the same time, those blue pieces remind me a lot of Earthspark Prowl, so he was taken as a reference too. (Transformers media always uses its own different generations as references. I figured I would better use the already existing official concept instead of my headcanons)

As a result. Yaaay he has doorwings~

Also ahaha yeah his chevron is still pretty small but let's face it. Tf one artstyle doesn't really allow it's characters heads to be sharp and pointy, they all are kind of rounded? I believe tf one Prowl's chevron wouldn't be big enough to change his silhouette.

So. Yeah this is it. I can assure you I tried my absolute best to avoid implementing my own vision on him and focused on matching the movie style instead. (And let me tell you haha if I designed him to look like I personality want he would look waaaay different)

[estellan0vella]

Restless Mind ❀ Sukuna (REQUESTED) Masterlist

The gentle rustle of leaves and the soothing sound of water greet you as you sit at the edge of the pond in the expansive gardens of Sukuna's estate.

The night is serene, the moon hanging high in the sky, casting a silver glow over the tranquil scene. The koi fish swim lazily in the pond, their bright colors muted but still visible in the moonlight. A cool breeze rustles through the trees, carrying the sweet scent of blooming flowers and the faintest hint of autumn in the air.

You take a sip of your tea, savoring its warmth as it spreads through you, a small comfort against the chill of the night. Your book rests open on your lap, the words a blur as you struggle to focus, your mind too restless to find solace in the story.

Sleep has been elusive tonight, and you couldn't bear the confines of your and Sukuna's room any longer. The gardens, with their quiet beauty, seemed like the perfect refuge.

Lost in thought, you don't hear the soft footsteps approaching until it's too late to hide. You look up, startled, to see Sukuna standing a few feet away, his crimson eyes fixed on you. He cuts a striking figure against the night, his presence both commanding and oddly comforting.

"What are you doing out here?" he asks, his voice a low rumble that sends a shiver down your spine.

"I couldn't sleep," you admit, feeling a bit sheepish under his intense gaze. "I thought some fresh air might help."

He raises an eyebrow, his eyes flicking to your attire. "And you thought it wise to come out in just your pajamas?"

You glance down at your thin nightclothes, suddenly aware of how exposed you are to the chill of the night. You wrap your arms around yourself, trying to ward off the cold and the embarrassment creeping up your cheeks.

"I didn't think it would be this cold," you mumble.

Sukuna sighs, a sound that seems to echo through the garden. He steps closer, shrugging off his haori and draping it over your shoulders. The fabric is warm, carrying his scent, and you can't help but snuggle into it.

"You're always so careless," he mutters, but there's no real bite to his words.

You offer him a small smile as he sits beside you. "Thank you."

He grunts in response, his eyes moving to the pond, watching the koi fish with a contemplative expression. Silence stretches between you, but it's a comfortable one, filled with the quiet sounds of the night.

"Why couldn't you sleep?" he asks after a while, his voice softer now.

You shrug, staring at the book in your lap. "Just... too many thoughts, I guess. I couldn't shut my mind off."

He nods, as if he understands. Maybe he does. You've seen glimpses of his own restlessness, the nights when he prowls the estate, unable to find peace, leaving you in the bed alone.

Sukuna shifts, his hand coming to rest on your back, his touch gentle. "You should have woken me," he says. "I would have kept you company."

"I didn't want to bother you," you reply, leaning into his touch despite your words.

"You're never a bother," he says firmly, his eyes locking onto yours. "Remember that."

The sincerity in his voice takes you by surprise, and for a moment, you can only stare at him, your heart pounding in your chest. It's rare for him to be so openly affectionate, even with you, and it leaves you feeling a mix of warmth and vulnerability.

"Thank you," you say again, your voice barely above a whisper.

He nods, his hand moving in slow circles on your back, a soothing gesture that makes your eyes feel heavy. The tension in your body begins to melt away, replaced by a sense of calm that you haven't felt all night.

"Tell me about your book," he says, his tone conversational, as if he's trying to distract you from your thoughts.

You glance at the cover, then back at him. "It's just a book of poetry, tragic romance, epic love stories"

Sukuna chuckles, a deep, rumbling sound that makes you smile. "Sounds like something you would enjoy."

You nod, feeling a bit more relaxed. "It's a good escape."

He hums in agreement, his fingers still tracing soothing patterns on your back. "Sometimes we all need an escape."

You glance at him, seeing the shadows in his eyes, the weight of his own burdens. It's easy to forget sometimes that even someone as powerful as Sukuna has his own struggles, his own demons to face.

"Do you ever wish things were different?" you ask softly, the question slipping out before you can stop it.

He doesn't answer right away, his gaze distant as he considers your words. When he finally speaks, his voice is low, almost contemplative. "Sometimes. But wishing for things to be different doesn't change what is. We can only move forward, adapt, and find our own moments of peace."

You lean your head against his shoulder, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breath.

"Thank you for being here," you say quietly, the words carrying more weight than you realize.

He wraps an arm around you, pulling you closer. "Always."

The night stretches on, but the restlessness that plagued you before is gone, replaced by a deep sense of contentment. The garden, the pond, the koi fish—everything seems to blur together into a peaceful tableau, a moment of tranquility in a world that is often anything but.

You close your eyes, letting the sound of Sukuna's heartbeat lull you into a sense of security. For the first time tonight, you feel like you might actually be able to sleep.

"Stay with me?" you murmur, already feeling drowsy.

He presses a kiss to the top of your head, his lips warm and soft. "I'm not going anywhere."

And with that, you let yourself drift, knowing that in this moment, with Sukuna by your side, you are safe, cherished, and loved. The worries and the sleepless nights can wait. For now, there is only this—an escape, a comfort, a peace that is found in the quiet companionship of someone who understands.

[sirenfromthelostcity]

Snowed In [Modern! Mizu x Reader]

Recently i got snowed in at my job and in my sadness i got to thinking, huh what if this happened but in a good and romantic way? And most importantly, with Mizu. This is definitely very fluffy and cute but honestly i need it lol. This was also supposed to be posted way sooner but then i got the flu and that got me good y'all. Anyways i hope you all enjoy! <3 Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated, i would really like to hear what y'all thought of this and it really helps keep me motivated! <3

Also wanted to add I listened to Kali Uchis “Tu Corazon es Mio” to get into the cute mood 💕 y’all should give it a listen it’s a very sweet song.

Tagged: @extrasour2

You were propped against the couch with a despondent look on your face as you watched the snow blanket the city. As a kid, snowy days were the best because school was cancelled and you got to go outside and play in the snow. But frankly the older you grew the more you realized how inconvenient snow can be.

Especially today.

"I'm sorry the snow ruined our plans," Mizi mumbled as she joined you on the couch.

You could hear the sad pout in her voice and couldn't help but chuckle.

"I know you are not apologizing for something that is completely out of your control," you turned to her.

"I guess I am," her shoulders jerked in a brief chuckle before turning back to you. "I just feel bad. I know you were really looking forward to tonight."

"Of course I was. I think we both would've really enjoyed the food but we can always make another reservation. Today is still our anniversary and that's what I'm most excited about," while still on the couch you started to crawl over to her. Mizu's eyes darted between your eyes and mouth the closer you approached and you didn't stop your prowl until you were almost towering her.

"Anywhere with you is exactly where I wanna be. Come rain or shine. For better or worse," you whispered as you leaned into her and her eyes fluttered closed as you gingerly trailed kisses around the regions of her eyes, nose, and cheeks. She released a breathy sigh as your lips teasingly hovered above hers, a space she desperately wanted to close. She felt your lips twitch into a smirk, you had her right where you wanted her and she knew it.

“Fucking brat,” she rasped against your lips and one quick motion she yanked your legs and sent you flying back onto the couch.

You yelped at the abrupt landing and laughed as Mizu quickly seized your neck with gentle bites and kisses.

"That tickles, that tickles!" you cried out.

She felt your laughter reverberate through your chest and couldn't help but laugh with you. Still chuckling, Mizu pulled back to look at you and the snarky comment she had planned got stuck in her throat when she saw you look back at her with so much love and adoration in your eyes.

Prior to you Mizu only had one serious relationship experience and it was a very bad one. She disclosed this to you from the very beginning but what she didn't disclose is that because of her bad experience she almost decided against seriously pursuing you. She just didn't think a person like you could actually love a or even find a genuine interest in someone like her.

"Hey," you tucked one of her loose hairs behind her ears, bringing her out of her thoughts and back to you. "What's going on up there?" you gently rubbed at her temple.

"Hmm?"

"You look all pensive, you okay?"

"Yeah I was just-" she sighed, trying to gather her thoughts. "I was thinking about when we first started going out. How I almost ruined us..."

"You didn't almost ruin us," you chuckled. "I mean, I could tell you were scared but from what you told me, what you've experienced, I understood it. Honestly I was kinda scared too."

"Really?"

"Mmhmm," you nodded.

"Why?"

"Because I had never liked anyone how I liked you. Every time we were together I could just feel myself falling for you more and more. It was like the more I learned about you the more I just liked you. It felt dangerous because I realized that you could really break my heart," you lightly laughed even though you were being completely serious.

Mizu caressed the side of your face, "I'd never do that. I'd never purposely do anything to hurt you. I've never been happier than I have been with you in these last three years. I love (Y/N), you mean so, so much to me."

"I love you too," your hand overlapped hers as she caressed your face and you gazed back into her lovestruck eyes. "I love you and every moment with you." You snaked your free hand behind her neck, gently guiding her lips to yours and Mizu happily complied.

The kiss is tender and soft as both pour your love for each other into it. You opened your mouth and Mizu took the bait, sliding her tongue in and she moaned as she reveled in the taste of you.

"Y'know I wouldn't mind spending the rest of our anniversary on this couch, or we could move to the bed if you want," she said as her lips trailed down your neck.

"The bed sounds lovely, however we do have to figure out what we're going do for dinner soon."

"I'm working on mine right now," she replied with a firm squeeze at your hips to which you laughed at her insinuation.

"Ha, funny but I said dinner not dessert- oh," you abruptly moaned as Mizu sucked on a particular sweet spot on your neck. "Fuck."

"My thoughts exactly," she grinned. Mizu gave you one last chaste kiss before getting off of you and you whined at the absence of her body against yours. “But I guess we do have to eat actual food eventually so…” she casually ambled towards your kitchen and opened the fridge, intently eyeing its contents. “We don’t have much but we have enough to make some pizzas. We even have some of the toppings you like.”

“Homemade pizza sounds fantastic,” you smiled to her. It didn’t take much to make you happy, especially with Mizu around. You rose from your spot on the couch and sauntered into Mizu’s arms, “But how about we visit the bed first real quick.”

At this Mizu gently laughed, “So impatient to get me into bed, huh?” Truly she loved that you wanted her as much as she wants you. But there was something she had to do first. “I’ll meet you there just give me two seconds okay?”

“Mmhmm,” you eagerly nodded. “Don’t make me wait too long.” You cooed as you walked towards your shared bedroom.

Mizu just stared at you adoringly as you disappeared into the bedroom. She then walked to one of the cabinets where she carefully hid a small blue box. She opened the box in her hand and stared into the diamond ring, grinning to herself. Quickly she pocketed the box, saving it for tonight.

There was a lot of things Mizu was unsure about but you were not one of them. Her love for you was unequivocal and when she thought of her future she couldn’t see one without you. She had thought long and hard about proposing, it was a big step but it was a milestone she knew she wanted to partake only once and only with you.

“Mizuuu….” You called out from the bedroom, bringing her back to the present.

“Coming, love,” she replied, finally making her way to you.

A/N: should I do a proposal scene y’all? 🤭 Ngl was kicking my feet in the air writing this lol I love fluff

Edit: Part 2!

[dezmolad]

EARTHSPARK S3: review??? (SPOILERS!)

this weekend I watched earthspark and I have to say something or I'll explode. This won't be a review as much as just some loose thoughts trying to summarise what this series had became.

STARSCREAM I hate what happened with starscream. I wrote an analysis of how this character got absolutely massacred in S2 (you can check it out here). To summarise: In S1 he was such a great character, shown so intriguing with both his not perfect character and his history of being abused. In S2 they made him the villain in an absolutely shallow way, in the final episode writing him in a way that makes him irredeemable. And I thought thats the worst u can do. And then S3 happened, when he appears for one scene to be shown as funny for "being crazy" (WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING WHEN U REMEMBER S1 WHEN HE WAS A VICTIM OF ABUSE THAT NOONE BELIEVED. IS THIS REALLY A GOOD IDEA TO PORTRAY HIM AS HAHA CRAZY GUY). It's absolutely heartbreaking to watch that scene. Starscream gets electrocuted by the very person he opened up to in S1, he was in isolation for all of the S3, he went insane bc of that, and still at the end we drag him to autobot jail. what is this.

PROWL I have no idea how such an intriguing and complicated character from idw that was clearly an inspiration inspired such a dull and shallow character. His process of learning about respect for human allies and terrans is shown so poorely and never feels like being actually resolved, I won't even talk about this. I admire how they did two things I thought were impossible. I thought it's impossible to make IDW inspired Prowl in this show a good guy (I genuinely thought he's going to be the bad antagonist). I thought it's impossible to ignore his weird and complicated relationship with Tarantulas, in a show that had Tarantulas in S1, was created with Nick Roche as character designed and was inspired by The Sins Of The Wreckers specifically in specific places. They did both of those things and it worked out horribly, congrats.

CONCLUSION I can't understand what happened with this season. it's visible there was some cuts, it looks rushed, it lacks any substance, and Quintessons at the end... didn't help the case let's just say. But that isn't my bigest problem. I feel devastated by what happened to the ideals of the show. in S1 we had decepticons in cages, and figuring out it's not actually a good solution. In S2 we saw decepticon as boring usual villains. But in S3 we have decepticons in one big cage again. But this time there is no consideration, there is no doubt. Even if under Shockwave they just want to go home. They should all be kept imprisoned. No matter if they mean no harm, no matter if, like Starscream, they suffered enough. And there is nothing to figure out, that's just how the world works. After all, they are decepticons, right. yes I'm bitter, S1 was just very important to me and seeing what happened to ES is just sad.

[mychlapci]

Nah, but ageswap Sunstreaker and Sideswipe finding out about Prowl’s weakness for cute things… Prowl spotting a stuffed petrorabbit in a market and just melting into a puddle. It’s black and white, like he is, with a little puff of a tail. He can’t help running his fingers over the soft fabric, picking it up to bury his face between the big, floppy ears. He lets out a soft little squeal as he huggles it, only to freeze when someone clears their throat. His mentors are staring. Actually, so is the vendor—but that’s with an indulgent field for a cute young mechanism, unlike Sunstreaker and Sideswipe. They’re staring at him like they’ve never seen him before. Sunstreaker looks like he wants to eat Prowl up, and it makes his plugged pussy cycle down on its toy. And then they buy it for him. He can’t help thanking them over and over, holding the petrorabbit to his chest with one arm and clinging to their plating with another. It’s the start of *something* although none of them is quite sure what.

When they get back to the twins’ shared hab, Prowl is promptly filled with Sideswipe’s spike. The plug is pulled free with a wet sound, tossed to the side and forgotten as the red mech fills the hungry hole it’d vacated. Prowl moans, long and horny, as it slides in. Still clutching his little black and white bunny. And then Sunstreaker starts to slip in too, until Prowl is gasping and almost too full. Sweet little pussy stinging withe the stretch of two spikes, overwhelmed tears sparkling in his optics. He can only clutch his bunny and try not to overload without permission, burying his face in the fur to stifle his little gasps and whines as his plugged spike bobs untouched between his and Sunstreaker’s bellies.

“What’s your little friend’s name, Prowl?” Sideswipe purrs in his audial, equal parts mocking and desperately aroused.

“Ru-uuuby!” Prowl hiccups when they begin to slowly thrust into him, spikes sliding together in his slick valve. They’re rubbing all of his internal sensors as they do, lubricant bubbling up between them and drooling out of Prowl.

“Aw, sweetspark,” Sunstreaker drawls, hoarseness betraying how affected he really is, “do you wuv her?” Prowl can’t think, can only feel a wash of humiliation that leaves his node tingling with charge. Silly, little trainee. His vents come in little gasps, lips trembling as he tries to stutter out an answer.

“Ye-es,” he manages, trying not to focus on the feeling of two fat spikes stuffing him to the brim, “I. I wuv her.” It makes his plating crawl with embarrassment in the most delicious way as he stumbles through yet another thank you that gets muffle by his plushy.

“Why don’t you give Ruby some cute little kisses,” Sideswipe suggests. Prowl obeys, planting chaste little pecks on the toy bunny’s head and cheeks even as the fuck into him. Sunstreaker groans low in his chest at the sight. None of them will last very long, the twins allowing Prowl to overload soon after he obediently hugs his bunny even tighter up away from his ‘naughty spike’ so she doesn’t get dirty. Never mind that it’s plugged and can’t leak.

Now that they know Prowl melts over cute things, there’s soon to be a parade of adorable but embarrassing outfits and accessories from Sunstreaker. New plushies to crowd his bed and confuse his roommate. And, of course, new ways to play with their cute little trainee. Some of his sitters are gonna blow a gasket over how cute this slag is.

AAAAA i completely missed this one. They make him baby talk, that’s so fun. Nothing’s ever made Prowl as hot as being forced to act like a mechling that can barely get words out. They think it’s hilarious and super hot when he blushes and glares at them while squeezing his cute new rabbit toy…

[blueikeproductions]

They finally posted a trailer and poster for the next batch of EarthSpark. And it’s described as S3, though experience with Netflix makes me think this is just the remainder of S2… Still according to the marketing, fans finally got a third season, so that counts for something. It’s only roughly 7 episodes, but G1’s final fourth season was a three part finale, so a very short season isn’t unheard of.

This poster is a lot better than the past main posters they’ve used over and over.

These are better also, but they don’t get used much.

But after RotB & TFONE, I think we can all agree decent advertising isn’t modern Hasbro & Paramount’s strong suit.

As for the trailer itself, it continues a trend I’ve noticed where most EarthSpark ancillary stuff tends to down play the Terrans. Twitch appears for a split second and Thrash appears in a gag where he gets shot… continuing his “just kinda there” vibe.

The trailer primarily focuses on the traditional Autobot & Decepticon conflict, with a big focus put on Prowl, the newest and seemingly only Transformer added to the cast so far.

A news article further describes Prowl as an “old world” Autobot detective who trusts the hard facts & always finds the truth. He is immediately distrustful of Optimus’ allies, so presumably that includes the Maltos, Terrans and naturally Megatron. It’s interesting how he’s specifically described as a detective, perhaps that’s to avoid ACAB allegations I could see the old writers attempt through him….

Prowl’s G1 profiles cast him as a by the books, semi prickly, military strategist. This doesn’t really get explored in the old cartoon, and while it was touched on briefly in Marvel, IDW went hog wild with it, casting its Prowl as a corrupt cop antagonist towards the end of the run. IDW2 cast him as more of a detective pre-war though, possibly where EarthSpark borrowed it from, and while he was still a hard-aft, he had a soft spot for his pet dinosaur-alien.

The main villains of the season, unsurprisingly, are the Quintessons. Their leader is a female Judge, who the blurb declares it “is her birthright to possess the power of the Emberstone. She’s wise, dangerous, and her ego is so large that it’s no wonder she has five heads”.

What exactly constitutes gender among the Quints has never really been defined before.

It might be safe to say as far as the G1 cartoon is concerned, they’re an all male race.

WFC & CV attempted to insert female gender among the Judges, having some of the masks speak in a female voice.

That adds another oddity to Judge biology, as the G1 cartoon or Marvel UK comics never stated the other faces being separate personalities, instead other media describes them as different emotional states.

Alpha Q in Superlink did have multiple personalities based on which mask was displayed, each one squabbling/talking amongst themselves.

Presumably WFC/CV borrowed from Alpha Q, but the ES Quintesson Judge might be operating on G1 logic, each mask being a single (female) gender, as she has a female voice actor only.

The other big G1 thing the trailer shows is the Hate Plague. The leaked synopsis already revealed it, but like G1, those infected with the plague glow an intense red.

Once infected, they turn incredibly violent and try to kill each other. Despite the G1 show’s violence, nobody actually died ironically, at least it was never confirmed. The synopsis implies the Quintessons unleashed the Hate Plague on the Transformers, and while the 80’s Quints were instead among the victims of the outbreak, they do have a vague connection to it.

The oldest known leader within the Matrix, only known as “It”, resembles a Quintesson, with Japanese media confirming that’s what they are. Optimus Prime asks this ancient Quintesson how to combat the Hate Plague, with It saying the Plague couldn’t be outright destroyed but contained, where a wise man trapped the spores in a star. The spores nevertheless has a weakness to pure wisdom, so Optimus unleashes the power of the Matrix and uses its eons long store of wisdom to eradicate the virus once and for all… Until it briefly returns in Beast Machines.

As mentioned before, the Hate Plague isn’t exactly a popular concept cartoons like to go back to. Comics don’t like using it typically either, so its inclusion here is both unique but also a little… peculiar. I’m leaning towards it being a vague, modern topical metaphor for something, as an infected Megatron is fighting Optimus in particular. Probably some hogwash about Megatron succumbing to his biases and own hatred, but we’ll see soon enough.

Perhaps the most utterly bizarre detail is the blurb seemingly confirming the return of Spitfire and Aftermath.

How…?

Starscream yanked out their Allspar-er-Emberstone Shards, and the rock itself is dust. You can’t get any deader than that.

The only thing I can guess, is similar to Sari’s key, the Sleeves are the repository of the Emberstone’s life giving energies (the sleeves do just about anything else now so why not), and the Malto kids are incentivized to revive the two Decepticon Terrans for some reason.

MetroTitans in IDW also can grant life and that was carried over to Prime Wars, so it’s possible Terratronus can grant life too, and she restores the Terracons.

Worst case scenario is the two hellions are back up and running like nothing happened, and their death is never addressed again.

Crap writing if so, but the previous two scenarios would be preferable.

Not much longer to wait now. This might be the final batch, as the Quintessons make sense as the final end goal in the struggle over the Emberstone. The show has never been super committed to showing what’s going on Cybertron that whatever Prowl and Cosmos have to add to the matter is probably the best we’ll get. Plus the Terrans don’t have much incentive or interest to even go to Cybertron anyway; Alex would get more out of going there than his kids. Only thing I could guess is the Quints took over Cybertron off screen and that loosely ties into the Judge’s role on Earth, but eh. We’ll see.

[transingthoseformers]

yknow in ur alt es you mentioned the optional parts has to be the 2 arcees like how are ya gonna implement that? and also how would rodimus interact with the GHOST bots and the maltobots

Oh right that post!

Idk i thought two arcees that are slightly different but ultimately also the same character would be interesting because like. That's an alternate/future version of base Earthspark Arcee. It's also because Arcee was part of Rodimus's little squad in g1, but also she's already part of the earthspark autobots on earth. Though I wasn't sure so that's why I said the two arcees thing was optional

Now Rodimus that's more concrete, when he's interacting with the autobots plus Megatron he's more like g1 Rodimus in that "well he's definitely a leader but he's a bit young for it and new at it" vibe, and I think Megatron and Prowl are definitely suspicious of him and this entire situation (goddamn! A situation where they agree on something! How rare!) because there's definitely things this Rodimus isn't telling them (who makes the first connection between this Rodimus and the autobot Hot Rod?) (Or is that immediate?)

Now, I'm thinking he's got a more sort of older adult brother type dynamic with the kids, maybe?? Or at least eventually. At first he's pretty much a stranger, an ally sure but someone they don't know.

There are multiple ways this version of Rodimus can interact with decepticons (including Megatron...), and some of them depend on what makes his timeline different than the main earthspark timeline. I'm thinking though in general the interactions between the mecha from Rodimus's timeline and the main earthspark timeline decepticons are rough. (especially with the whole Galvatron thing...)

What little I know about G1 Rodimus is a big reference here, but so are elements from characters like tfa Optimus, rid15 Bumblebee, and Cyberverse Hot Rod. I need to watch g1 s3 still so there is improvement I can make on this idea.

[monocle-teacup]

Disclaimer: People may assume that I don't like the show going by the numerous critique posts I've made, but the reality is that if Season 1 didn't drop the ball so hard in the writing department ES would honestly be my favorite TF show. What I am is disappointed.

Something I've noticed is that every time an "ES is getting cancelled" rumor appears, Tumblr is pretty much the only place that has the "OH NO!" reaction. tfw2005 has some of that as well, but the general consensus at this point seems to be that the show getting cancelled is inevitable.

If you look at the threads on tfw2005 and the transformers subreddit dealing with the latest rumor, most people were more disappointed about Takara Prowl getting cancelled than the show itself.

The show already had so many things going against it: -Being on a streaming service that no one really has -Batch releases for episodes -The aesthetic alone made a lot of people avoid it. -Pretty much no advertising whatsoever -The toyline being regarded as terrible quality by mostly everybody -The Nightshade controversy. While it's utterly ridiculous this even caused such a stir, the fact of the matter is that the negative publicity actually made more people aware that the show even existed.

You know why I came back to Tumblr after years of being inactive? Because Tumblr was pretty much the only place where there was active discussion about the show while it was airing. tfw2005 also had discussion, but not like here. Reddit hardly mentions the show and I have no idea about Twitter/X since I don't use it. As annoying as the cancellation rumors are, it actually gets other parts of the web talking about the show.

When people say ES is popular, I'm honestly curious where they're getting that impression from. It's very telling that the teaser trailer for Season 2 presents a run of the mill TF story and doesn't mention anything from Season 1. The whole point of a trailer is to generate interest and Hasbro/Paramount seems to realize that Season 1 wasn't appealing to general audiences. In doing so, they pissed off a lot of the fan base the show actually has.

I'm still watching Season 2 because I'm honestly curious if the writing is going to improve and Weird Al and Flea are going to be in it. And obviously I'm hoping for more Mandroid.

[the-derpy-duck]

Stuck between wanting Prowl to be a fucking asshole and him being nice. I’d like either interpretation, I like when Prowl isn’t really nice or mean, but just sort of different. He doesn’t actively try to get on people’s shit lists but he isn’t trying to get along with them either. A standoffish more introverted Prowl would be fun. Passive aggressive Prowl would be great! Prowl being tired and always sleeping would be wonderful. He’s a blank slate and the two iterations that have him with a personality are widely different. You can do anything with Prowl and for the longest time it probably wouldn’t have upset many people because Prowl was just sort of there (TFA withstanding) and IDW took him and a different direction. He has no established characteristics in the way that others do (Starscream has a very particular personality that he largely keeps regardless of the continuity. A non old grumpy ratchet would be kind of weird after so many years of him being that and Jazz has been the cool one who isn’t fucking bonkers for a while) and I hope that ES doesn’t just repeat IDW.

Looking at his expression he looks like he either has a RBF or is just a bit mean. But I like the design and I just hope he does something interesting and/or funny. If hypothetical ES!Prowl is an avid rock collector I will be satisfied because the idea of robots having rock collections is funny to me.

[ikkosu]

In your opinion in the fan space is Prowl a popular or unpopular character? I love how much attention you give him but it’s been a little hard finding other blogs that do. Wasn’t sure if it was just because he isn’t as popular or something

I adore prowl, for personal and uh, lusftul reasonf BAHAHHJHA. my opinion and rant below I guess?

I dont really know how to answer this question, I’m terrible at expressing my opinions without short circuiting every second but I do think Prowl is quite popular (not as popular as the fandom’s babygirls : Ratchet, Starscream, and etc but you get the gist) and for both popular and unpopular reasons is he so.

Especially, with him being known as the Pricktm, and just generally an asshole (which I don’t really believe). I mean, he is an asshole but c’mon. It’s often I see he’s characterized by his unlikable traits, which in turn, antagonizes him often (where is his sassy side!!!) and I do find those jokes funny but at a certain point I get irked when that’s the only thing they could see about him.

I know some prowl lover’s already made this point, but he’s so much more than the typical cold calculating Autobot with no other hobbies than committing war crimes. The only reason I welcomed that aspect mostly because it’s funny and also because i usually keep his deeper character analysis to myself, since I relate to his character a little too deeply as well. (Not on the war crimes part, I am anything but a war criminal)

Especially when prowl would be introduced into ES and immediately everyone just immediately assume prowl!!! Asshole!! I want him to be mean!! I do agree it would be funny if he is, and his arc of being lovable towards everyone would be heartwarming, but come on… even in the shows they’d anataginize him for being logical and calculating, it’s frustrating when most of the things he said are right (okay he’s a bit too much on the organic thing, prowl seriously) but I love how prowl is in ES his personality is perfect. He’s affectionate, he listens and he still has his typical prowl personality that I like.

okay I’m going off on a tangent now. Uh, anyways back to prowl. As for the other blogs that don’t talk much about prowl, I guess it depends on who they like. But I was a little confused, maybe it’s because I’m talking about prowl often and most of my moots love prowl and most of my followers love prowl so I’m in the prowl zone of tumblr, so I get a lot of things related to prowl ahaha so I was like wait people don’t talk about prowl? But it’s only recently I noticed that Prowl is getting popular. I have no idea why, though.

conclusion : yes, he’s quite popular. It also normally depends on the blog if they like him or not.

[collisionxcha0s]

was gonna say this on twitter but realised 90% of my followers r prowl fans IM SORRY FOR THE RANT SJDNDNSN

.

.

my fucking goodness dude ive never been this pissed abt a character before i just cannot stand him and his idw version, ive TRIED to find ways to like him but i just cant. something abt him just rlly pisses me off, i just.. cant explain it. and all my insta followers LOVE him, im so cooked💀💀 I DONT HATE MY FOLLOWERS BTW ONLY PR*WL.

like dude im a fan of assholes like blitzwing and ES swindle n shit but for some reason i cannot stand that bitchass cop in IDW😭. like get AWAY from me. fuck you mf u dont deserve to be with the constructicons no more. each day i regret that i remembered i used to love that ship and i want to bleach my eyes. why the FUCK was i like that😭😭😭 i wish i could delete my previous self, like actual. FUCK ME.

[timetravelersdoctor]

How do you think the Autobots and Decepticons (TFA, TFP and ES) would react if they met the Unicron (G1), a planet the size of Cybertron, who could also transform into robot mode and tried to destroy Cybertron with his bare hands (literally speaking)

Hi thank you for the ask! ( May I say that this is an intriguing ask. it's super interesting thank you! I haven gotten very far in Earthspark so I'll only do Optimus and Megatron, I hope that's okay)

Tfa Megatron: Tfa Megatron would attempt to keep his cool in order to gather information about who and what Unicron is. secretly he'd be a little unnerved at the thought of Cybertronian God being real. he would prefer to stay on Unicron's good side so long as he is a threat.

Tfa Blitzwing: Blitzwing would be freaking out at just how crazy it is that a Cybertronian God is real and that he is huge. he's not a fan of Unicron's tendency to consume worlds, however he keeps that little tidbit to himself.

Tfa Lugnut: Lugnut under the orders of Tfa Megatron would remain silent in Unicron's presence because Megatron doesn't think Lugnut would be able to not say anything that could get himself offlined.

Tfa Optimus Prime: The Young Prime doesn't know how to react to Unicron's presence and just does his best to cope he does what ever he can to keep his team safe.

Tfa Ratchet: Tfa Ratchet is extremely unhappy with Unicron's presence and has decide to help Optimus keep his team safe. He wouldn't want to talk to Unicron but he makes sure to keep Bumblebee from saying something inappropriate.

Tfa Bulkhead: Bulkhead helps Ratchet by distracting Bumblebee when ever he can and he makes sure Bumblebee understands how much danger they are in.

Tfa Bumblebee: He's Not allowed to interact with Unicron unless Ratchet or Bulkhead are present. he has a lot of questions for Unicron and really wants them to be answered.

Tfa Prowl: He snuck off to help find ways to send Unicron back to his original universe. Prowl has been gathering information on Unicron and reporting back to those attempting to neutralize Unicron and send him home.

Tfp Megatron: Post TFP Megatron would be the first to nope out of the situation. he was already under the control of one Unicron he does not need to make it two. he would do his best to avoid any and all interaction with G1 Unicron.

Tfp Starscream: Starscream would immediately attempt to get in Unicron's good graces not really knowing that Unicron doesn't have any. he's the most likely to get himself in to trouble involving Unicron.

Tfp Knockout: Knockout would be secretly insulting Unicron's looks in his head but outwardly he would do his best not to gain Unicron's attention by any means necessary.

Tfp Breakdown: Breakdown would do his best to follow Knockouts lead because he trusts Knockout to know what he's doing.

Tfp Soundwave: He is trying to find a way to send Unicron back to where ever he came from without getting caught. Soundwave wants nothing to to with this mess.

Tfp Optimus Prime: After seeing Unicron Optimus decided that he'll help soundwave with his plan and makes sure that whenever needed Unicron is distracted.

Tfp Ratchet: Ratchet decided to follow Megatrons lead for once and nope out of the situation taking the other three with him because he knows their impulses could get them offlined.

Tfp Bumblebee: Never gets the chance to interact with Unicron Because of Tfp Ratchet. he would probably freak out if he does met Unicron

Tfp Bulkhead: The only one not to have a big problem with Ratchet keeping them (him and the other two) away from the situation. the only thing he doesn't like is that Tfp Optimus is left alone with soundwave to deal with the situation.

Tfp Arcee: Doesn't like the fact that Ratchet dragged her away from the very dangerous situation leaving Optimus to handle it him self. She'd have a few choice words for Unicron if she met him though.

ES Megatron: ES Megs want to immediately do whatever it takes to get Unicron away from earth no matter what it takes. He's freaking out a little because Unicron could offline them all if he really wanted to.

ES Optimus Prime: ES Prime does his best to remain calm and attempt to help Megatron not freak out. he would do his best to keep everyone safe until they can find a way to get to proper safety

[landofzero-archive]

Battle on the Sugoroku Board - God Won’t Roll The Dice 5

(Location: “Battle on the Sugoroku Board” program set)

Rinne: ♪~

Aah, it’s been a while since I’ve breathed in the air of the free world. How delicious ♪

…… Not really, I was still able to breathe in the outside air, though. I was surprised cause I wasn't expecting to go into the cage is aaall?

I’ll have the privilege of being a free man for the time being ♪

(Ooh? Those guys are–)

Natsume and Arashi: ………!

Rinne: (It’s the NewDi Team. I wonder if the “Dice Battle” isn’t being triggered because they’re far enough away from me.

Since I’m the only one who’s noticed, why don’t I do a little spying on the enemy’s situation. Now let’s see…?)

Arashi: We couldn’t get much at all huh. They said the reward was 100G.

Even though I’ve accepted about three requests from a while ago, isn’t crossing a dangerous bridge for 100G or 200G not worth it?

It’s good that we can immediately buy support items with the rewards because the shop’s commissions are around the area, but…… They’re all backbreaking work.

Natsume: I thiNK it’s good that we can even get that much.  BecauSE at the very leasT, we can revive Mikejima-senpai if we have 100G.

Arashi: That’s true. It’s about time to get Mama out of the cage isn’t it?

Natsume-chan. I wonder if I can ask to pay with the smartphone?

Natsume: Oh nO. I feel likE it’s still a little too early.

MayBE it’s because each team is currently crushing each other, but there it seEMS like there aren’t many signs of people around uS. What aboUT reviving him in a situation whEN we have an encounter with someone?

We’re talking about Mikejima-senpai after aLL. The situation in the game couLD change as soon as he gets revived.

More importantLY. While the war situation right now is calm, let’s go look for the next commission—

Arashi: I’d like you to wait a bit.

Natsume: UmM?

Could it bE you want to rescue Mikejima-senpai sooner or somethING?

Arashi: No, that’s not it.

Look closely, Natsume-chan. Look over there— isn’t that an enemy team’s idol?

And it’s not just that one person, there are several of them…… Lying in wait.

Natsume: HmM. It lookS like there are about 10 people.

Which meANS that the members of three or more teams are conspiring and lyiNG in wait for us……

We caN’T take it too easy. We haVE to get through somehow.

Arashi: Get through…….?

Natsume: Kaminari-san, I haVE an idea.

If anything, let’S takE advantage of this situation. Can’t we use support items to wipe them out wholesale, hM?

Arashi: It certainly seems worth a try. I wanted to try out that item too.

I wonder if the cheap rewards for the commissions had a meaning to some extent ♪

Rinne: (…… Heeh. As expected, those guys are being prowled after for being grouped together with ES, huh.

I guess it’s about time to contact the CosPro Team huh~? With the way things are now, there’s no guarantee that we won’t fall for their trap too.

Firstly, to support the ES forces, preventing the idols from other agencies from attacking us carelessly—

After that, we’ll sniff out the mastermind’s calculations and crush those calculations!

It’s the best strategy! As one would expect, the Goddess of Victory is smiling upon me!

Let’s quickly check the GPS location of my teammates—-There.

What’s this? Yuta’s GPS is moving rapidly……?

Oi oi, are you riding the Shinkansen (1) or something! That’s so funny!

Is it that? When you’re underground and the GPS information is delayed or something?

Anyway, I know where you’re at. I’ll be there soon, so wait for me ♪ )

Tsumugi: It’s a bit of a confusing free-for-all, huh~. It’s fun to watch.

Thank you to all the Staff-san, for letting me observe something so interesting.

I can switch between monitors to watch footage from the filming set, but from here I can see everything from a bird’s eye view. It’s somewhat refreshing.

I tend to be the one being filmed…… I don’t really get to watch variety shows from the outside like this.

Two teams have been eliminated, while there are 10 or so idols trapped in the cage— considering there were about 30 participants, it’s been quite a progression.

I really want the NewDi Team to hang in there. Even if it’s not winning first place, riding the flow like this is exciting—-

It’s similar to watching amateur sports tournaments. The main goal is to win, but winning is not everything.

As a supporter from the sidelines, I want Natsume-kun and the team to keep surviving.

Ah. By the way, can you show me NewDi Team’s footage? I got curious since there’s mostly been other teams’ footage for a while…….

Staff: Sorry, Aoba-san. Right now, the staff are together with other teams, so ask again later.

Tsumugi: Ah, then it’s okay. I’ll be counting on you later.

(Hm~m……? They haven’t been filming them for a while, huh. Despite that, I can’t see any movements from the footage being streamed.

There should be filming crews following both NewDi Team and CosPro Team, but I don’t see any footage being streamed at all.

Somehow, it feels like they’re avoiding them……?

That said, I’m thinking too much. It’s just that the timing coincidentally didn’t line up—-

Everyone is doing their work seriously. Even I can see that.)

TL Notes:

Shinkansen: Japan’s famous high-speed bullet train.

Previous | Directory | Next

[chouhatsumimi]

Words from Nukoduke, vol. 4, part 2

Words in bold are particularly relevant to the story, and words in italics seem like they’d be worth remembering outside the context of the manga. Bold and italic together means they’ve probably appeared somewhere in Nukoduke more than once. Kinda long list but it’s for a whole volume… actually it’s too long for tumblr, so splitting into four parts.

クロカンブーシュ croquembouche 埒が明く, 埓が明く らちがあく to come to a settlement マッハ Mach (number), (at a) fast speed / mach, (unidad de velocidad 1 mach es aprox. 1200kmh) 駆られる かられる to be driven by (one's feelings), to succumb to 未確認 みかくにん unconfirmed, unidentified 未確認飛行物体 みかくにんひこうぶったい unidentified flying object, UFO / objeto volador no identificado, OVNI 物体 ぶったい body, object / cuerpo, objeto 甘酸っぱい, 甘ずっぱい あまずっぱい sweet and sour, bittersweet / agridulce 命運 めいうん fate, destiny 反響 はんきょう echo, reverberation, response, reaction, repercussions, sensation, influence / resonancia, repercusión 徘徊, 俳徊, 徘回 はいかい loitering, roaming, sauntering, wandering about, prowling 悪どい あくどい gaudy, showy, garish, loud, crooked, vicious, wicked, nasty, unscrupulous, dishonest / chillón, llamativo, excesivo, vicioso 口説く くどく to persuade, to coax, to solicit, to seduce, to make advances, to make a play, to make a pass, to put the moves on, to come on to, to hit on, to court, to woo, to romance 大盛況 だいせいきょう great success, roaring business, busy, packed-out モフる, もふる to stroke (something fluffy), to rub, to pat 触発 しょくはつ detonation by contact, contact detonation, touching off (something), triggering, sparking, provocation, inspiration 抗う, 争う, 諍う あらがう to go against, to fight against, to oppose, to resist, to deny / contrariar, oponerse, negar 釘を刺す, 釘をさす, くぎを刺す, 釘を差す, 釘を挿す くぎをさす to give a warning, to remind (a person) of / dejar bien atado para que no haya problemas, afianzar, amarrar 過保護 かほご overprotective, excessive care, overprotection, overprotectiveness / cuidado excesivo, sobreprotección 盗聴器, 盗聴機 とうちょうき listening device, bug, wiretap 経過 けいか passage (of time), elapsing, lapse, progress, development, course (of events), transit / transición, proceso 付き添い, 付添い, 付添 つきそい attendance on, attendant, escort, chaperon, retinue 付き添い役, 付き添役, 付添役 つきそいやく attendant, best man (at a wedding), groomsman, maid of honor, bridesmaid 中枢 ちゅうすう centre, center, pivot, mainstay, nucleus, backbone, central figure, pillar, key man / núcleo, centro 飴と鞭, 飴とムチ あめとむち, あめとムチ, アメとムチ carrot and stick, candy and whip / la zanahoria y la barra de zanahoria これと言って, 此れと言って これといって not worth mentioning (with neg. verb), nothing special [I made a post about this expression!] 温厚 おんこう gentle, mild-mannered / dulce (carácter) 落ち込む, 落込む, 落ちこむ おちこむ to feel down, to feel sad, to be depressed, to be in low spirits, to be in a slump (business, economy, etc.), to be in an unfavourable condition, to fall into (e.g. a hole) / caerse, desplomarse, hundirse, deprimirse がち, ガチ serious, earnest, honest, real 剣幕, 権幕, 見幕 けんまく threatening attitude, menacing look, angry look 育む, 育くむ はぐくむ to raise, to bring up, to rear, to cultivate, to foster, to nurture / criar, educar

[fiftyshadesofmetal]

Blog/Ask Rules and Info

This blog is mainly going to be for my fetish/kink/nsfw transformers or general robot/mech nsfw content

I'm very new to tumblr, please be patient! I'm still figuring out how to do all the things and such so if I send multiple asks, reblog something oddly, or my general 'tumblr etiquette' is odd i'm sorry =0X

Requests are allowed, but check out the characters I'm willing to do and the kinks/things I'm willing to draw before asking, since if it doesn't align with that then I def won't do it. Anything in the gray/neutral catagory feel free to ask for. I have to be in the mood to create content of those, compared to my good kinks :3

DRAWING/ASK REQUESTS OPEN

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

✅ Characters:

Sunstreaker (IDW1/IDW2/MTME/g1)

Sideswipe (IDW1/IDW2/G1/Tfa)

Arcee (IDW1)

Cheetor (Beastwars/IDW1/Cyberverse)

Cosmos (IDW1/g1)

FirstAid (MTMTE/IDW1)

Thundercracker (IDW1)

Bombeshell/Shrapnel/Kickback (G1/IDW/Dreamwave)

Ironhide (IDW1/G1)

Nautica (MTMTE)

Skids (MTMTE)

Blaster (g1/MTMTE/IDW1)

Skywarp (IDW1)

Tracks (g1)

Airraid (g1/WFC)

Whirl (MTMTE)

Grimlock (MTMTE/IDW1)

Scavangers (MTMTE/IDW1)

Fortress Maximus (MTMTE/IDW1)

Airrazor (ROTB/Beastwars/WFC)

Dinobot (Beastwards/WFC)

Needlenose (IDW)

Soundwave (IDW1/g1)

❌Characters:

ANY TFP/TFA/RiD/ES VERSIONS OF CHARACTERS

Bumblebee

Jazz

Prowl

Bob the Insecticon (Please don't ask this, he's a legit animal)

Optimus Prime

DJD

Tailgate

Swerve

Kup

Ratchet

Overlord

Getaway

Brawn

Shockwave

Strongarm

Bulkhead

Alpha Trion

Blurr

Archanid

If your characters not in either the do's/dont's, feel free to send the ask and I'll probably figure out if I would want to do them or not!

✅Kinks:

Oral Vore (Safe/Soft and soft digestion w/ reformation, slight weight gain)

Feederism (Some stuffing/weight gain)

Oviposistion

Petplay

BDSM (Mostly dom/sub, bondage, degradation)

Cumflation

Chasity cage

Valve/Spike piercings

Mouth/Maw shots

Overstimulation

Knotting

Edging

Size Difference/Extreme Size Difference (probably wont do a character any smaller then their partners hand)

🔘 Kinks:

Breasts/lactation/breastfeeding

Micro/Macro

Mech and/or Male pregnancy

CNC

Belching

Vore- Digestion no reformation

Anal Vore

❌Kinks:

Scat/farting

Watersports

Noncon

Large age gap

Age play

Feet

Knifeplay

Necrophilia

Gore

Cock Vore

If you want pairings, just put it in the ask and I'll see about it, as well as if theres any kinks you want that I dont have listed

Blacklist/Block:

Incest/Twincest (No Sunny/Sides shit thats fuckin nasty)

Zoophilia/Beastiality (Can't believe I have to say this, gross, leave bob alone)

Young (Just covering all my bases at this point, but I better not even have to see any shit like that interacting with me)

Proshippers

[dzpenumbra]

3/29/23

Today has been... a surprisingly good day. Very overdue saying that.

I had a couple super intense dreams. So... I obviously didn't sleep well. The first one was about me linking up with my old bandmate from college to go skate, which is odd because he never skated... hey, maybe I was just trying to find that type of person, yeah? That makes more sense. But anyway... I was trying to find them and I ended up in this situation where there were actual tigers prowling around, like I was in a zoo kinda area and they seemed reeeeeally fucking interested in me.

And... I don't know if you've ever been in this situation before... so... I guess kinda light trigger warning for people who are afraid of large animals... but I used to own a German Shepherd. She passed in June, I miss her dearly, I used to call her my "sidekick", but more often than not I felt like I was hers. XD Since they day I got her she was incredibly friendly and playful. Which, to someone who has never really... played with dogs before? Because my mom is obsessed with like... military-level dog training. Yep, wonder why I ended up with a crippling anxiety disorder when I was raised in that home... XD So... there was no such thing as "play with the dog" short of throw a ball and "train recall". And my dog wanted to goddamn play.

So... the reason I'm telling this context... I remember one of the first nights back... after I drove her back up a 10 hour drive by myself, having known her for like... 12 hours total... I remember her getting on my bed and we were hanging out and she started getting playful and rolling over. And I remember being above her, and her with that big goofy fucking smile on her face that she always had her entire life. She was like... 2 at this point. And she noticed me right above her while she was on her back and she locked eyes with me with her big-ass teeth out and went completely still. And I had a moment there where I thought... "oh shit, is she going to attack me?" Like... she was still a strange dog to me, this was the first time she showed her belly to me, in my inexperience, that was a moment where I really really needed to be very deliberate and very kind and respectful. Really slow and careful. Now... knowing Cerry... in hindsight... there was little chance I would ever get that wrong. And even if I did, she would just run away or something. But that feeling, that situation, that is what I'm trying to refer to with this story.

I had that feeling, that situation, with like 2-3 full-grown tigers crawling all over me, pinning me down, playing with me. Grown-ass tigers. Gigantor fucking animals. I knew they were playing, and they really seemed very fond of playing with me to the point where they wouldn't stop following me and tackling me. But I also was thinking "do not move your fingers, they may think they're food or something." That feeling is very palpable. And it's pretty familiar, too. It's anxiety. Well... actually... panic, right? It's more like... in-the-moment panic.

And then I remembered after I woke up... I wrote in my journal last night about tigers. So... I guess whatever point I was making there, it was a really important one for me. And it was hard to overlook the convenience of the tiger being my sorta... adopted persona/spirit animal from a time in my life that I was very confident and ambitious. It became the symbol of a time in my life when I was rebuilding and reconnecting with my inner artist, and the tiger was the strength and courage I needed to do that. My spirit animal now? I have a lot. The owl is pretty clearly represented here. For streaming, that persona has a chipmunk. My personal ones are red-tailed hawk and crow.

Kinda symbolic how I adopted a tiger as a spirit animal, got a shit-ton of courage, ended up getting the shit beat out of me emotionally because those around me were legit scared of me, ended up crumbling, having my life fall apart again... having to essentially kill-off that entire persona... then rebuild... and my new persona... was represented by a chipmunk? A super skittish, shy, run away the second you hear a loud noise little dude? Like... how fucking post-traumatic is that? XD It's like, almost too on-the-nose. Could we get a bit more creative, subconscious?

Anyway, that was my first dream, my second one was about... my older brother. Who was a cop in this dream, he is an investment manager in real life. He was... neglecting his dog. I said neglecting to avoid using the word abusing, but it was done through neglect, in this dream it was leaving him out on the porch for hours with him barking endlessly. But yeah, the image of the dog's face was like... painful... haunting. It still is, it's seared into my head. So... it was a tough dream. Two tough dreams, back to back. But I journaled the second one, so that was improvement!

I got up and did yoga, which was really nice. It was a really chill flow that didn't push me too hard, it hit a lot of good spots, added some new poses I've never done before, it was cool. I got food. I did dishes. I watched a cool video about how snowflakes are formed, which was absolutely batshit crazy. I passed out for... an hour and a half?

When I got up, I hopped in the shower and... get this... actually got myself to go to the skatepark. Yep. I actually. Went. To. The. Skatepark. Today. =)

I got really nervous, I almost didn't go. I had this overwhelming force pushing back. I pulled up the worksheet that my therapist gave me, the one on "challenging negative thoughts". Instead of listening to the protective instincts that were overreacting at the moment, I put the "that's lame, that won't work" thoughts aside and actually did it. And it actually helped.

These self-protective thoughts have deep roots. They have a lot of conviction, and they know me very well - because they are me - and they know exactly what heartstrings to pull on to make an argument. I remember where it set in. Here, I might as well run through what I remember of the worksheet.

My thought was... something bad is going to happen if I go, more of a general feeling than an actual thought-out thought, if that makes sense. Just a really strong "I shouldn't go down that dark alleyway..." vibe. Is there substantial evidence for my thought? No Is there evidence contrary to my thought? Yes Am I attempting to interpret this situation without all the evidence? Yes What would a friend think about this situation? They would think I'm overreacting or paranoid. If I look at the situation positively, how is it different? (I don't remember my answer to this one, probably something like "it would be fun") Will this matter a year from now? How about five years from now? That's where I went into... yeah, it could, if I end up losing opportunities from this. Like... if I piss someone off and burn a potential bridge, or get a really big ticket that puts a big dent in my bank account, or something. If I fuck up potentially meeting someone really cool, or getting a client or getting into a gallery or something, yeah, that would definitely matter in five years.

But... that sentiment could be fucking associated with anything. Like... I could walk to the trash room right now, at 2 AM, and run into someone who is a gallery owner locally and they could see my hoodie and go "wow, I am in love with that piece, do you have any other work, I'd love to give you an exhibit and big fat check and also marry my daughter." And by NOT going right now to the trash room, and writing this instead, I could have missed that opportunity forever. THAT is the kind of logic I'm working with, that keeps me agoraphobic. Yep, I'm adopting the "a-word" again, because this is definitely fear-based.

THAT SAID... I put on my hoodie, I put on my sunglasses, I grabbed an apple, I made a reservation for the shared car, I put my earbuds in and I fucking walked to the truck. No hybrid board, just hoofed it about a mile. And I figured out the whole car thing really easily, it was very simple. The truck was... a bit old, and rattled when I hit the gas, but... not the first time I've driven a truck like that luckily, so it was cool, it was actually kinda nice. It had the crank windows and everything, very nostalgic.

I drove to the skatepark and went on in. Very little anxiety. Just a little... awkwardness finding my personality and my voice, since I hadn't interacted with another person more than in-passing in... almost a week. That shit... it's so fucking weird. It takes me a few minutes to adjust, it's like... I don't know how to describe it, it's kinda like... waking up? Kinda? Like the first few seconds when you first wake up. I don't know, I'm foggy at first until I get my bearings. Very hard to describe. Having an established relationship with that person helps a lot.

But I got into the groove easy. And I ended up getting a full complete board and a helmet. I was stalled out on buying a deck for a long time, I tried to share my experience and shit, but again... it's hard to like... explain that I do know how to ride... I used to skate every day in college... I just... don't know how to kickflip because I just fucking skipped it, I guess. And I took like 7 years off because of what I now call "an injury". And decided to get back into skating through snowskating instead of skateboarding about 4 years ago. So... I'm not brand new, I just skated like... a few weeks ago in the park. And I skated the skatepark in my old town pretty much every day for the last few weeks of fall. Until the snow started falling, basically. I'm just... I haven't really gotten my legs back yet. And my old board... was from 2009ish. The skating technology has changed so much. And, ironically, most of what I got was kinda... the same kinda shit I would've gotten back in the day. Bones Reds, Spitfire wheels, Indy trucks. So I was kinda just stumped on the deck.

I was telling him I was looking for a wider board, because my old one was like a 7.25-7.5 or something, it was super narrow. I really didn't like my toes hanging off it. I was used to riding it, but like... if I'm getting a new board, I'd like it to be more like my snowskate, which is super wide. Because I'm more used to riding that size deck. I ended up somewhere in-between. An 8.25... And I think my snowskate is close to a 9 or something. And the deck does feel absolutely fine, I like it a lot. After running through a couple options of board shapes, I told the dude... I'm probably just gonna get used to whatever I'm riding anyway, so... since that's the case? I might as well just get something I like, right? And I saw some boards from a small company run by a family that went to my high school. A bunch of brothers whose dad... interestingly enough... failed me out of English class and was one of two people who were responsible for putting me into a special education program. Like... I almost flunked high school because of that dude. And... he was kinda right. But... you help people like that, you don't punish them.

You'd think I'd be angry about it. I had my fair share of time to be angry. I now love him for how things turned out. Because his approach to English was... by-the-books bog standard English shit. And what I got to do in my special ed course... with my teacher... Ed... hahaha... was... I got to learn about the Beat Poets. I got to learn about stream-of-consciousness writing. I got to learn about abstract poetry forms and spiritual hybridization with writing. I got a gigantic steroid shot to my creativity gland that opened up gates that... were some of the most formative moments in who I have become as a person today. Like... this, right here, is stream-of-consciousness. A skill I've refined over decades of practice. Brain dumping with zero editing (minimal at most). Literally every piece of music I have made since I was 17 was using these principles. Most of my art has elements too. It is truly the foundation that my creative self was built from. So... though he did fuck me over... and it would've been cool to be on his good side and get to skate with his kids and become friends with them and then maybe be a pro skateboarder on their team right now... I would not be who I am today without the choices he made. And for that, I love him. So, thanks, dude whose name I'm not going to say online.

His sons are cool shit, they have their own skate company, they make their own merch and decks and their own skate videos. I actually should watch their videos too, honestly. Maybe I'll set out to do that tomorrow or something. So yeah, I ended up buying one of their boards. The one that was the pro model for the son that I actually skated with way back in the day one time in a parking lot by the car dealership that fucked me over. XD I felt like it was a nice gesture, to support my hometown heroes, and it's a cool board too.

I skated in their park for like... the duration of one song. I skated like an absolute newbie for the first bit. And I really couldn't figure out why. Now, in hindsight, I get it. 1). nerves, 2). not at all used to new bearings that actually work and go fast, 3). super slick indoor concrete, 4). brand new hard wheels, 5). loose trucks when all I've ever ridden was super duper tight-to-the-point-of-not-being-able-to-move-nearly-at-all trucks. Enough reasons?! Despite that? I got some decent ollies in. I could pivot on banks. And I actually did a pretty decent BS noseslide on a super low curb-ledge thing. Like... I did an actual trick... on my brand new board... my first time on it... when I could barely ride it 5 minutes prior.

Oh, before I forget, since I do have to wrap this up because it's getting really late. There were two kids working there. The guy that was helping me was doing a good job, he was a college kid. He just seemed a bit anxious, or introverted, either way. More respectful and distant. The other guy who got in from doing a lesson, he was exhausted, but he started to chat with me once the shop cleared out. And... he was a legit extrovert. And it's been a long time since I've been in direct interaction with a pure extrovert. What a fucking feeling man, good lord. This kid - god, I'm getting old... - was from my home town. I was just shooting the shit about how I wasn't used to having indoor parks available, the dude asked where I'm from and he was from there too. And then it was like... okay, this guy gets me... and I opened up completely. He asked what school I went to, we shared stories, he had tried the car sharing service too so we both recommended it to the guy who helped me pick out my board, they recommended the skatepark in my neighborhood, they said it's their favorite park around. It was just overall a really cool experience. Though it was kinda jarring to have the kid ask me what year I graduated and I said "2004", and he went, "oh no shit, class of 2018 here!" And I was just like... fuck. I think I literally said "oh hold on, gotta dust off my bones real quick, good lord." So... that was a reality check and a half!

But that was a really nice experience. Mainly... and I'm just going to preface this by saying there's a chance it was just an effect that extroverts can exude sometimes, but it felt authentic. It was very refreshing to talk to someone that was actually interested in what I had to say. Yeah. I didn't realize how fucking long it's been since I've actually sat and talked to someone and they were actually listening, and invested in what I was saying, and paying the fuck attention and not scrolling on their phone or browsing social media or playing a game or preparing their next statement or something. This guy felt like he was sharing the moment with me, and as a hermit... that's like solid gold for me. I didn't care at all how big the bill for the board was, I had already gotten what I live for. Genuine social connection. Genuinely being in a moment with someone, the way I try to share moments with others - fully. Connecting.

This made such a big impact that I didn't care that I dropped my phone on the sidewalk when got back to the parking spot and cracked the screen. I skated a bit on the way back. I skated pretty much all the way back, actually. Which was such a fucking refreshing feeling. Oh my god. The feeling of sidewalk concrete under my feet? The cla-clack cla-clack cla-clack. The fuzzy feeling in your toes. Man, I missed it so much. And as I went back, I just got off my board every time I passed people, so I didn't piss people off. And they seemed to respect it, I guess. And two old guys made some comments. One pointed out how bumpy the sidewalk was and I laughed and agreed. The second asked for a ride! So I offered him my board! We had a good laugh, he said he had arthritis and was in his 60's and was really encouraging me to skate and keep exercising, "use it or you lose it" kinda attitude. And I really appreciated his encouragement. It's one of those small casual interactions that... means a lot more after the fact than you show them in the moment. I hope he regains his mobility and his pain lessens. The fact that he's even out there is such a big step, and I'm really proud of Anonymous Older Man #2.

Okay, it's almost 3 so I really do have to go. Getting used to this earlier schedule, don't wanna spoil it. I would love to, weather depending, try to take my hybrid board up to the park in my neighborhood tomorrow or something. It's only a couple blocks, and it should be in a part of town that's totally okay to skate in. Could be a nice adventure!

No need to reset the vibes today, it's all good vibes except for the tremendously big piss I need to take right now. XD