#something about wanting that affirmation from the other person that you matter
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jennycalendar · 1 year ago
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"some night, huh?"
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nieloxychen · 7 months ago
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not to have a moment in another posts tags so im venting in my own tags <3
#still on the “first human to know Tal” point like??#even when ive outed myself to others there were never questions like that#affirming questions would be a good term maybe?#but it was silence and maybe a clarifiying question#all i remember is silence from others and unease from me#at least in person#online is a different best because that mostly concerns things youre already volunteering#and like the obvious bad memory bias that brains have doesnt make it easier#i could name the people that inspired me to take another look at my gender - that showed me there was more than a strict binary#but i wish i had someone like that? a first human to know Lo#i mean i definetly do in the general sense#because every name is said a first and last time by someone#but it was almost certainly someone who never thought twice about it#who might not have even wondered#im not sure why it makes such a difference if the first person i told my name to knew thati had a different name before then#or if it matters if the person i first introduced myself to by my chosen name knows that my name is important to me#but i definetly remember the people who asked about where my name comes from#and i feel better about those conversations than i do with people who never had any reaction at all#maybe its that i want to be recognised in full? and a big part of who i am is informed by me being trans#and it feels like an important part of what made me who i am today is being ignored?#idk...#but if anyone has read this far id love to hear someone elses input on this? like is this something you understand or even recognise?
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ambrosiagourmet · 10 months ago
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I want to talk about why I think this is the one of the most important Falin panels:
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So, Falin is really nice, right? It's one of the first things we really learn about her. She's kind even to the monsters of the dungeon - choosing to ward the party rather than fight spirits and cause them needless harm.
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In the above early flashback in chapter 11, we see Marcille fawning over Falin's kindness, calling her an angel. Namari calls her soft-hearted. We see Falin choose not to fight even when a zombie attacks - instead she resolves the confrontation with a hug. After the flashback, the first thing Senshi says is that Falin "sounds like quite the person," which Marcille strongly affirms.
At this point in the story, all we have seen of Falin are these impressions; she is a healer, an angel, a caretaker with an infinite well of kindness towards everyone she meets - both friend and foe.
And honestly, that remains most of what we have to go by to understand her. The only times we get to see Falin on the page, alive and just herself, are in the opening and closing pages of the story and in the brief period of time after she is resurrected.
Nonetheless, we do have some more details to work with. For one, there is the scene that The Panel is from - a short memory in chapter 75, when Marcille flashes back to while she's dying. In that scene, Falin prepares to teleport them all out, and says that she's sorry "if there is a person at [their] destination." And that's when we get The Panel.
If you teleport someone or something into another person, the person teleported into is likely to be, at minimum, severely injured. They could die.
We can see a lovely little horrifying example of exactly why in one of the Daydream Hour doodles:
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So, hmm. That's not... that's not SUPER nice. Certainly not displaying the same "kindness to all, friend and foe included" we saw represented earlier. On a basic level, this adds some nuance to Falin's kindness. We see it break a little, when pushed to the limit. We see her chose to protect the people she loves above all else.
Which makes sense! As Laios says when the Winged Lion accuses him of similarly being motivated more by his friends' safety than everyone else in the dungeon, "...most people, aside from virtuous do-gooders, would feel the same way."
So, we can take The Panel as simply showing a moment of weakness for Falin. A time when she was pushed to her limits, and that "most people" selfish side of her shone through.
However... I think there's a little more going on with Falin than just her being an angel 99% of the time, except just that once. I love The Panel because I think it helps us understand that Falin isn't just motivated by kindness - she also has a desire to avoid seeing people in pain.
Isn't that the same thing?
No, no it very much is not.
Let's look at a short comic from the Falin section of the Adventurer's Bible, because I think it illustrates this point perfectly. The group is complaining about how much Marcille's healing hurts, and comparing it to Falin's, which "doesn't hurt a bit." Marcille retorts with the following:
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Now, the punchline of this comic is that, despite Marcille's sentimental assertion that she's "thinking of [them]" by letting her healing magic hurt, they all still prefer to be healed by Falin.
But hey, this wouldn't be the first time that Dungeon Meshi hides a very real character beat or insight in a gag, so let's think about this somewhat seriously.
If Marcille is right (and she knows a fair bit about magic, so we can assume that she has at least somewhat of a point), then what Falin is doing isn't kind. I suppose if someone specifically requested to not feel the pain, it could be kind, but that's not really what happened here. She is the one who felt badly about the others being in pain, and she is the one who decided, without telling them or giving them a choice in the matter, to take away that pain.
Both Marcille and Falin are healing the party, but Marcille is doing it in a way that accomplishes the task in the most straight forward way, without any additional interference. Falin is going out of her way to perform the healing in a way she is more comfortable with. A way that avoids pain.
Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action.
Falin is not a confrontational person. She doesn't push when Marcille won't tell her the truth about the resurrection, and she comforts Laios about her own death - both of those things happening in the only full chapter she is alive and conscious in the whole story.
We also know that she considered accepting Shuro's proposal, despite not having any special feelings towards him, and that Falin never explained to Marcille that she wanted them to share a meal together. When she brought Marcille various foods at the academy, she just accepted Marcille's confused rejection and gave up.
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And lastly, we know that she is still in contact with her parents, despite the neglect and abuse she suffered at their hands. Although the way someone chooses to handle contact with abusive or bad family is a complicated topic, which I don't want to overly simplify, I do I think this fact gets at the heart of how she handles conflict.
So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy.
It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly.
And the unhealthy aspects of this kind of avoidance of pain and confrontation is one of the things that the story of Dungeon Meshi is all about. We see Laios grapple with it before he goes to kill Falin, and we see Marcille acknowledge it at the end of the story, when she tells Laios that she has come to terms with Falin's death:
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Eating is a part of life. Consuming other living things is a part of life. It isn't really possible to avoid that pain - you can only hide from the truth of it. You have to be selfish everyday. You have to eat - to choose to live. To choose to take up space.
And this is something Falin embraces, too. She comes back to life, after all.
We see her choose to come back to life.
And how does she make that choice? She eats. She consumes, and then she is asked a question by the manifestation of hunger itself:
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Do you want to eat more?
There is a double meaning in the Winged Lion's final words on the next page.
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When I first read this, I took it as him saying: life is cruel. You will suffer. You will feel more pain.
But perhaps, especially for Falin, this also means: you are choosing a path where you must cause pain. Where you must consume. Where you must take, and must be selfish. Because eating is the special privilege of the living, and it is their burden, too. In order to stay alive, she will need to keep eating.
And she chooses that. Chooses to be selfish. It's why her resurrection scene is so important, and it's why The Panel is so important. Because Falin coming back isn't the ultimate reward for all of the party's hard work.
It's her choice. Just like it was her choice that started everything in the first place. But this time, she doesn't choose to accept causing pain for the sake of Marcille and Laios. She does it for her own sake.
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lovelyliliana · 19 days ago
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I'm gonna take a break from answering questions now so here's what you need to know.
Yes, you can manifest that thing.
No, it doesn't matter that it seems impossible. It is possible.
All you need to do is know that you're gonna get your desires. Just assume that it's yours.
No, you don't have to repeat affirmations 24/7 if you don't feel like it's gonna work. Just do it whenever you want and if you want.
Your affirmations should feel natural to you. Don't repeat something a coach has posted if you don't resonate with it or if it's not something you would normally say if you had your desire. Use your own words.
It doesn't matter what language you affirm in as long as you understand what it means.
Methods are just tools that you can use. You're the one who manifests and it doesn't matter if you affirm, script, visualize or act as if. Do whatever feels right.
Your reality is a mirror!! If you have it in your imagination it will reflect in your 3D reality = you need to assume you already have it so you can physically get it.
You don't need a coach's help, you don't need to pay anyone. Everything you need to know is available for free on the internet. And don't forget that you're the only person in your reality who can manifest your desires. Nothing will change if you keep telling yourself that you can't have what you want.
The law is 100% real.
Other people in your reality do not have free will. Everyone is you pushed out so whether you assume that they love you or hate you it's still your manifestation.
You don't have to watch every single youtube video or read every single post about the law to manifest something.
Yes, some people have lied about their manifestations and some success stories are fake. But that doesn't mean it's all a lie and the law isn't real. Stop focusing on other people's success stories and manifest something for yourself instead. That will be your proof and you will know it's not a lie.
Anything is possible. Please just believe in yourself and know that you can have whatever you want.
Circumstances don't matter!!!
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hannieehaee · 1 year ago
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WANTED U
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18 + / mdi
summary: everything about your relationship with minghao was perfect, leaving you with no complaints. except maybe in one area: minghao's stoic attitude during sex, making you entirely insecure about whether he wanted you as bad as you did him, or if he was maybe just too in love with you to let you down.
content: misunderstandings, established relationship, he's very very in love with reader, he's just a bit backwards, smut, afab reader, miscommunication (shocker), oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, dry humping, mentions of fingering, etc.
wc: 5.7k
a/n: based kind of maybe a lil bit on personal experience but 100% reimagined for fanfic purposes lmao
masterlist | kofi/patreon
support me through a one-time tip! <3
You were absolutely head over heels in love with your boyfriend. There was no way to fight it - not that you wanted to. It was as if his sole goal in life was to love you. He had even told you that before, claiming that his parents had been the greatest love story he had ever seen, and that he had wanted nothing more in life than to find a love like theirs. He'd said that his father had once told him, 'live to love, and love to live', advice which Minghao took to heart.
His father was a wise man when it came to love, even letting Minghao in on the secret that all his ambitions were driven by his love for his mother. Minghao had communicated their entire love story to you soon after meeting. You had only known each other for a short period of time before Minghao confessed to you, claiming that a friendship would not suffice for his heart, which had been taken by you upon your first meeting. He would've respected your decision if you had decided to remain friends, but was relieved to hear your enthusiastic agreement in becoming his girlfriend.
Being his girlfriend came with endless perks. For one, you got to be with the absolute love of your life; a man who was never shy to express his love to you through any means possible. He was also a successful idol, something that came with its troubles, but allowed you to see and support your boyfriend in all his passionate endeavors. He'd spend every free moment tending to you and showing you what it meant to be loved. There was no world in which you weren't completely enamored by the man.
You'd only been dating for four months by now. He had already introduced you to his friends and family, proudly letting them know that you'd be around for a long time, being completely certain that you were the love of his life. Sure, it might've been a bit soon, but the moment Minghao saw you, he knew you were the one. His certainty always made you a bit shy, a reaction which he'd kiss away by reassuring you that he'd never meet a love greater than yours. It was all perfect. You felt at home with his friends and family, quickly growing used to what would now be your forever family, as you also believed Minghao to be the one and only love you would ever come to know.
He showed you love through every means possible. He insisted on taking care of you financially, while also supporting your independent and professional endeavors. He took care of you emotionally, always lending an ear to listen to your problems and lips to soothe your worries. He'd constantly feed you with words of affirmation, almost as if he'd grow sick if he went a single day without you knowing how enamored he was. He'd make love to you ... and that was it on that matter.
Not to misunderstand, your sex life with Minghao was magnificent. There was no form of pleasure the man could not achieve to give you. He had you delirious with arousal with one single touch, making you beg even when he never demanded it from you. As many of his fans guessed, Minghao was just as experienced as he appeared. There was large variety of things he would entertain in the bedroom, never leaving you dissatisfied.
The issue laid in you, truly. Although you were always enthusiastic in the pleasure your boyfriend gave you, you weren't sure you could say it was the same for him. He would always shower you with endless praise and affection in every other circumstance, but while in the throes of passion the most you could really get out of him was a few muffled groans or one or two short-lived praises. You felt as if there was a imbalance in the pleasure you gave one another; almost as if he didn't want you as much as you did him.
You had recently realized that you were often the one to begin any sexual encounter, never having to beg for reciprocation, but also very rarely being enticed by the man himself. You almost felt embarrassed at the realization, having already been feeling a bit off at his lack of reactions towards you during the fact. Was he simply entertaining you out of pity? Did it not feel as good for him? Was he not into you physically as he was emotionally? You knew he always came when being intimate with you, always letting out a lone groan of your name when he finished. It was still hard to feel confident about your sex appeal when your boyfriend never gave you much to work with. You also felt a bit pathetic knowing he gave you the utmost pleasure while you seemingly gave him the barest minimum of it.
Talking to him about it was out of the question. You knew your boyfriend thrived off of healthy communication, but he hadn't mentioned any issues in your sex life, so you felt embarrassed to bring it up. Not only that, but you didn't want to come off as desperate or ungrateful. He was your best friend; the perfect boyfriend. You didn't want to open a can of worms that would have things go awry. So you decided to come up with a plan; maybe test your hypothesis.
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Getting Minghao undressed and ready to fuck you was never too difficult. Just a few kisses and whispers asking him to please take care of you and he was ready to take charge. Currently you were in the middle of it, sitting on the couch as he kissed your neck, pulling breathy sighs out of you as you moaned his name, but received no reaction in return. You decided to act as usual, maybe gauge what got him going and what didn't. So far, he had spoken no words as he simply did what he knew you liked. He ran his hands through your body and kissed you deeply, drawing moans and whines out of you at the simplest of touches.
You felt a bit embarrassed, realizing how easy it was for him to get you going while it was the complete opposite for him. Now on the bed, he ground against you, still making no sound or any other indication of pleasure as he thrusted his hardness against you. You wondered how that felt for him. He was hard, so surely he was aroused, right? Shouldn't that equal some type of pleasurable reaction to the feeling? You weren't able to ponder on this for long, as he suddenly knelt next to bed, going straight to business against your heat.
"H-hao ... fuck!", you pulled at his hair, extremely sensitive to his touch as you usually were.
You couldn't help yourself in pulling at his hair, even grinding against his skilled tongue. You were completely lost to the bliss, moaning endlessly at the pleasure, unlike your boyfriend, whose only sounds were the slick of his tongue dragging against your pussy. If the tables were turned and Minghao was growing delirious on the feeling of your mouth on him, you'd be just as affected, getting off on the sound of his voice moaning out your name. So, you couldn't help but still feel disappointed at him eating you out with no further reaction.
However, the feeling of your orgasm overtook your disappointment, making you forget about any ill feelings and cumming against his tongue. What followed made you hollow out again, though.
He got up from his knelt position, nodding at you and asking a simple, "ready?" before undoing his pants and climbing on top of you, entering you immediately after putting on a condom.
You moaned and whined against his ear, scratching at his back at the pleasure; all things you usually did when he fucked you, but received no reaction in return. He'd give you the occasional muffled grunt, not even seeming like he was holding back, but more like he had nothing to give. It was a conflicting feeling. On one hand, you felt an insane amount of physical pleasure, but on the other, your emotions couldn't help but feel hurt by his lack of arousal towards you. Call you shallow, but you just wanted to feel like your boyfriend found you sexy, damnit!
"F-fuck, Hao! Gonna cum, don't stop. Shit!", it was easy for him to get you there, knowing all your weak spots by now. And it was just as easy for your body to take control of your mind, making you forget all worries as you came once again. He didn't take long to reach you, releasing into the condom with a grunt.
What made it worse was how sweet he was afterwards, calling you his beautiful girl and helping you clean up, only to cuddle you afterwards.
"You okay, my love? Felt good?"
Now, to any reasonable person, this would've been the perfect chance to speak up, maybe let him know about your concerns, but you just felt too pathetic. What were you supposed to do? Force your boyfriend to moan? Force him to give you the reactions you wanted rather than the ones that came naturally from him? You were supposed to accept him as he was, just like he did you. So, you responded with evasion.
"Yes, baby. Felt amazing. Love you."
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You decided to go for a different approach this time.
Within the few months that you and Minghao had dated, you had really only spent a little under two months physically around each other. His job had a tendency of pulling him away from you for extended periods of time, so you were lucky if you ever got a whole week with him. This meant that the two of you would always try to make the best of the time you did get to spend together.
Within those two months of physical proximity, you two had a healthy sex life. You had sex for the first time only two weeks into the relationship, then proceeding to have it very regularly after that. Although, you were usually the one to initiate it.
In order to change things up, you decided to stop. You wanted to see how long it would take Minghao to approach you himself. Maybe gauge what it'd be like if you suddenly took it away. Would he react then? Would it feel better for him if you allowed a short period of time for things to mellow out?
The answer was no.
Only three days after your previous time having sex, he came home from dance practice, greeting you with a kiss. Except that instead of pulling away, he kept your lips connected, grabbing onto your waist to pull you close to him. Things went pretty much as usual after that. No words were exchanged (at least not from his side of things) as he undressed you and entered you while laying on the couch.
It was insanely pleasurable as per usual. His pace was slower than normal, and you heard a few more muffled grunts, which excited you like crazy.
"H-hao ..." you couldnt help but sigh as he angled himself perfectly to hit that sensitive spot inside you. You scratched at his back, arching your back against his chest.
He made no response, only going faster as he clearly realized your end was coming. He held you close to him, caressing your body tenderly despite the rapid movement of his hips. It was all perfect, sans the thing you wanted most; his lust for you. He cleaned you up afterwards, sheepishly apologizing for jumping you with no warning, giving you a quick peck as he said it. The conversation regarding sex ended there, with him expanding about his day and you yours. Had this been progress? You weren't sure.
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Next attempt felt a bit pathetic.
You looked amazing. You needed no confirmation, you just knew it. You had bought a pretty lacy number, exactly in a style you knew your boyfriend would like. You hadn't had a chance so far to really dress up for him yet. So far, you had worn pretty panties and matching bras while being sexually active with him, but there had been no instance in which you really pulled out a whole set for him.
It felt a bit silly, resorting to perfectly trimmed lace in order to see if maybe your boyfriend would show some lust towards you. You even lit some candles, for god's sakes. This had to work, or else you'd feel like the biggest loser alive. You were a bit anxious, to be honest. You had never dressed up for a guy, but you'd heard it worked wonders in the bedroom. You knew the sex itself would be amazing, but you hoped that everything else also lived up to standard.
It wasn't long until you heard the keys unlock the door, which signaled that you should put into position. You had a matching silk robe, throwing it on as if to hide Hao's gift under a perfectly tied knot. He hadn't noticed you upon entering the room, having to do a double take to take notice of your pretty hair and makeup, way too fancy for an usual occasion.
"Love? W-what's with the look? You look beautiful," he approached you with a sweet smile, arms going directly to your waist
"Just wanted to do a little something for you, Hao. Do you like it?"
"Of course, angel. You look so pretty. Is there anything under the robe?", he lifted his eyebrow at you, hands playing with the knot.
"Find out?", you wanted to give him free rein, wanting to once more gauge his reaction. This was all for research purposes, after all.
"Oh ... Baby, you didn't have to do this ... You look gorgeous ..." he breathed out upon undoing the tie on the robe, immediately pushing it off as he ran his hands up and down your body. Yes, this was a good start. An amazing start, actually. He wanted you? That had been just your goal. His breathy sigh? God, that had you reeling.
He seemed to get distracted by the sight of your body being hugged by the expensive fabric, but eventually snapped out of it, shaking his head as if to get himself out of a trance. He kissed you after that, no longer paying any mind to the lingerie, nor to his previous reaction to you. He kissed and kissed you, same as he always did. Your moans against his lips fell to deaf ears, as he did not reciprocate with more moans of his own. You kissed him back, unable to not match his enthusiasm in making love to your lips.
What had just happened? You were going in the right track! He had suddenly just snapped himself out of it, basically willing the lust away. Had he wanted to hold back on purpose? Did you just need to incite him?
You let him kiss you for a while before gesturing for him to kiss down your neck, playing up your moans a bit and pushing your chest towards him. Eventually you placed his hands on your chest, now being a bit more direct.
"H-hao ... Do you like it? Did I do good?", okay, now you were a bit more embarrassed. You had never really delved into dirty talk with Minghao, much less submissive speech. There had never been a need since the man had no tendency to speak during sex at all - sans the times he'd check up on you. You hoped maybe he would react well to it.
"Yes, angel. You're perfect. Let me take care of you now, yeah?"
That was code for be quiet and let me get to business. Or at least that's how you took it. You were disheartened, but allowed him to continue, still enjoying his touch regardless of anything. You appreciated the compliments, but you did not feel sexy anymore. What you were feeling could better be described as childish and dejected. You felt like you'd shown a desperate side of yourself only to be met with nothing in return.
Your thoughts faded away the moment he began to drag his thigh between your legs, quickly drawing moans and cries of his name out of you. Was it that hard for him to do the same? What more did you need to do?
Logically, it didn't take him long to make you cum. You came in your lace panties, still earning a groan out of him upon feeling your cunt spasm against his bare thigh.
"Hmm, baby. Looked so pretty today ... Are you okay? Need me to clean you up?", he gave you a sweet kiss, running his hands up and down your sides in a caring manner.
"I'm fine, Hao, thank you. I, uh, what about you? Are you ... ?"
"I'm fine, baby. Don't worry about it," he smiled at you despite the obvious boner concealed by his shorts, "Get changed, angel. You'll get sticky and cold."
And that was it once again. Your outfit had given you a favorable reaction, but it died off quicker than you expected. You were back to square one all over again.
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You had one final plan. If this didn't give you answers, you weren't sure how to proceed from there.
What if you pulled a 'Minghao' on Minhhao? Would he react if you suddenly became stoic while in his arms? It felt disingenuous, and the mere thought honestly made you feel a little mean, but you had grown desperate by now. It had been months of amazing sex that you were sure was gratifying only to you.
Next time you and Minghao found yourselves in that mood, you decided to lay pliant in his arms; not react to his touches and movements the way you usually would.
It was weird, not letting him know how much you loved his touch. You kissed him back, even held him back too, but your mouth was silent, as was your body. He kissed down your neck, soft hands touching at every corner that usually had your eyes rolling back, but you persisted. There were no reactions out of you, only muffled groans just like his own. You felt some hesitance in his touches, sometimes pausing as he didn't get the desired effect from his actions. He didn't vocalize his concerns, however, only continuing his path as he fingered you. His lips never left your skin as he worked you through your first orgasm.
It had been a feat, truly. The feeling of his lips against your skin was enough to have you mewling for more. His fingers curling inside you usually had you whining his name, but this time the most you could allow yourself to muster was muffled or broken cries as he drew you to completion. Even then he didn't question you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion with the question trapped between his lips. He moved on to undo his pants, prepping you a bit before sliding inside you. He let out the lone moan he always did upon sliding through you, but made no further noise.
You were going insane, toes curling and body completely tense, trying your hardest not to react. It wasn't just the pleasure, but your intense feelings for the man. The way he felt against you and gave you all his love through his touch. You felt like crying at the thought. Which is what you did without realizing. You couldn't help yourself. The love you had for your boyfriend was indescribable, even if you had been dating for so little. He felt the same, which was something he'd always let you know on the tender nights you'd spend sleeping in each other's arms. Right now, though, you felt like shit. It was hard for you to even enjoy his touch, which was a new experience for you.
Minghao must've noticed your cries, which had been louder than you realized, instantly halting his movements and checking on you.
"Angel? My love, what's wrong? Are you hurt?", he pulled away completely, still keeping his arms at your sides in an attempt to soothe you, but pulling his still hard cock out of you.
The sudden lack of proximity only made you cry louder, sniffling as you tried to catch your breath.
"Baby, tell me what's wrong, please. I'm so sorry, I didn't- I didn't mean to hurt you. Where does it hurt. How can I make it better?"
"Why- why don't you want me?", the question left your lips before you even realized, face heating up at your own words.
"What? Want you? What do you mean?"
There was still time to run it back, maybe make some type of excuse about why you'd been crying. But your emotions decided for you, not allowing your brain to formulate a lie before your mouth was opening again.
You took a quick breather, allowing yourself to catch your breath before responding. Minghao seemed to understand this, running his hand up and down your back in a soothing manner.
"I just ... I just don't understand. I love you, Minghao. I love you so much. I want you so much. Why don't you want me back? What do I need to do? I cant ... I can't keep doing this," you had stopped crying by then, but your emotions were still heightened.
"Love? I love you. What are you talking about? I'm in love with you, you know this. Please tell me what you mean? Tell me if you're hurt. I can't- I'd never want to hurt you."
He was now sitting right by you, your legs now closer while his hand came up to your cheek, wiping one of the last few tears remaining on your face. It made you feel like an asshole. He was being the amazing boyfriend you always knew him to be, reassuring you of bis affections while being worried for your wellbeing, not once stopping to care about himself. Meanwhile, you were crying because you wanted your boyfriend to feel lust for you. It was pathetic, really.
"I know you love me, Hao. You're the perfect boyfriend. I'm okay, I just ... fuck. I'm so embarrassed, I'm sorry. I don't want you to worry about me, it's so stupid, I'm sorry, I-"
"Angel, please stop apologizing. Tell me what's wrong. You don't have to be embarrassed. I need to know what you're thinking so that we can talk through it, okay? I'd never judge you," he was sincere in his words, taking on a soft smile as he tried to welcome the idea of an open conversation about whatever was on your mind. It was now or never, you guessed.
You took a deep breath, avoiding eye contact at all costs, "I feel like ... I feel like you don't want me."
"Want you how, angel?"
"I've tried everything Minghao. I've pursued you, I've let you pursue me, I've been loud, I've been quiet. Fuck, I even threw myself at you with stupid lingerie that you didn't even care about, but it never works. You don't want me, and it's driving me insane. I'm sorry, I know it's so stupid. I don't want to- I don't want to force anything on you or make you feel uncomfortable, but I feel so, fuck, I feel so pathetic. Like you have sex with me just to humor me. Like you're giving me something and I have nothing to show in return. I'm so- I'm so sorry."
You weren't sure what you were apologizing for. It was either the embarrassment or the warm gaze that wouldn't leave your own as you rambled.
"My love ... You think- you think I don't want you?"
"You don't have to humor me, Minghao, I already know. I've made peace with it, it's just .. tonight was too much. I tried to keep my emotions out of it, but it only made me break faster."
"Oh, angel," he closed the gap, pulling you even closer to him as he put his palms on your cheeks, drawing you closer while looking into your eyes, thumbs caressing the skin there, "I think I owe you an apology."
"No!", you grabbed onto his wrists, interrupting him before he could continue and separating yourself in the same breath, knowing you could never speak your mind while he held you so lovingly, "You don't have to apologize for anything. I'm sorry. I should've never tried to pressure you, I did this to myself, I-"
"I need you to let me talk, angel, please. I need to explain myself."
"Oh. I- okay. Continue."
"I adore you, my love. You know this. To think that you could ever think I don't want you breaks my heart. It's all my fault, I should've never done this, I- I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like I don't ache for you the way you do me. I want you in ways I can't describe."
"But-"
"Let me finish," his hands were back on you, one caressing your cheek while the other ran up and down your arm in an almost sensual manner, "You think I don't think about you every passing moment? That you don't plague my thoughts every day? My beautiful girl ... You're the prettiest thing I've ever had. Holding you in my arms as you writhe under me is the biggest form of pleasure I've ever felt. You- you think-" he took a deep breath before continuing, "You think I don't think about you on my lonely nights away from your touch? That I don't touch myself thinking of you; your curves, your soft skin, the way you cry my name ..."
"H-hao ..." your breath was just as heavy as his by now, mouth dry as you heard him recite his one and every emotion towards you.
"You think you don't plague my mind at the most inopportune moments?", he continued despite your interruption, "I think of you every day. When I'm at practice, when I'm performing, fuck, I think of you when I'm having dinner with my parents. Your body invades my every thought. You beautiful, gorgeous thing. I ... I've had to hold back. Didn't want to scare you away with the impossible lust I feel for you. Every time you let me have you, I have to hold back. I can never fully have you. I don't know what it'd do to me. I've wanted you from the moment we met. I've wanted to explore every inch of your body and make you mine. But your pleasure is my main priority. Always. As long as you're satisfied, I could never ask for more. But to think you ever believed I didn't want ache for you every passing moment pains me. I ... I want to .. Can I show you? Will you let me show you how badly I need you?"
"Please .. Fuck, Hao, please, I-"
He moaned the moment he finally connected your lips, hands going crazy at the way he squeezed and caressed every inch he could reach. His moans against your lips did not halt as you whined desperately at his kiss, relishing in the speech he had just delivered to you. What you were feeling was beyond lust at this point. You felt something you had never before, having waited months for your boyfriend to finally want you the way you did him. You weren't sure if he was playing it up for you, but you didn't want it to stop regardless.
"My love," he finally disconnected your lips, "Going to give you everything. Everything I've been holding back, I- I don't even know where to start."
His eyes could not stay in one place, darting around every inch of your nude body. You had known Minghao to be attracted to you, it was something he expressed many times, but you had never seen the calm man so frantic before. His calm nature was completely gone.
"You can do anything you want, Hao. Just, please ..."
He shut you up with yet another kiss, laying you down on the bed in the process. He dragged his dick against your cunt, groaning at the feeling. You were still drenched from your ruined orgasm from earlier, and he was hard due to your prior interruption, so it wasn't difficult to get the two of you ready for each other.
"Wanna be in you so badly, but .. Fuck, you just feel so good like this angel," he was grabbing onto your thighs by now, lifting them up in order to angle himself just right to drag his cock right against your clit. His eyebrows were furrowed and his face flushed. He was a broken version of himself, with his only purpose in mind being to bring the two of you the most pleasure imaginable. You felt like an idiot for never expressing your concerns to your boyfriend, not imagining that it'd end up so favorably for you. The pleasure you felt at his lack of self-control as he played with you couldn't compare to any previous time in which you'd made love.
He separated himself from you before either of you could come, muttering something along the lines of 'Wanna savor you, my love.' He still seemed frantic, not fully sure where he wanted to touch first or what part of you to enjoy at that moment. He went from kissing your chest to rubbing your pussy with his long fingers. He put you in all positions he could think of to kiss up and down your body, waxing poetic at you repeatedly as he sighed against your skin. The occasional times in which his cock would accidentally grace against you had you burning, wanting him inside you more than anything. Now that you knew he wanted you just as bad as you did him; now that he was fully yours.
"My beautiful girl ... Love you so much. The pleasure you bring me .. You have no idea. How could I ever let you think I didn't carry a torch for you night after night. Is this okay? Is it okay to want someone this badly? To ache for you day and night, only thinking of your touch?," he was finally facing you again, close enough to invade all your senses.
"Gonna have you now, okay, angel? Gonna show you how strongly I feel about you. How you make me lose all my inhibitions."
He entered you with no further warning, letting out the groan he always did, but this time his mouth would not stop running, moaning and sighing your name against your ear, letting you know how your cunt around him made him lose his mind.
"My most beautiful, girl ... fuck. Gonna break you ... I've held back for too long ... Need you every day," the way he was fucking you was nothing short of animalistic, with both his words and the slapping of your skin filling up the silence of the room.
"God, that day you showed up with that pretty set for me? Do you have any idea how difficult it was to not pin you against the wall and rip it off of you? Make you cry as you took all of me until every single drop of my cum was leaking from your cunt? The image has not left my mind for a single moment, angel. Can't think, shit ... Can't breathe without thinking of you," despite his insane dancer stamina, his breathing was becoming disheveled as he continued to piston into you.
You had thought that Minghao had already given you all types of pleasure throughout your relationship, but now that he had finally snapped you had truly reached heaven. And it seemed like it was the case for him too. He was unable to stop himself from telling you his every thought, with his emotions getting the best of him as he fucked into you almost animalistically. His fingers were bruising your thighs as he held you with all bis might; something you thought your soft and sweet Minghao was incapable of doing.
"Hao ... I need .. I'm gonna cum, Hao, please!"
"Yeah? Gonna let me have it, angel? Love when you cum for me. So soft and pretty, all for me. Cum, my love. Cum and I'll give you all of me in return."
The thought of his cum filling you up made you lose control, cumming as your back arched almost completely off the bed. You felt like you'd ascended, being given the most intense orgasm of your life, followed by a warm feeling inside you; the feeling of Minghao's essence penetrating you.
He almost fell on top of you as he finished, breath hot and heavy against your skin.
"My love? Are you okay? Was that too much?," it only took a few moments of silence for him to speak up, showing immediate concern for your limp and breathless state.
You had been more than okay, having never felt more loved and wanted in your life. From his words to his actions, Minghao had managed to make you realize how wrong you'd been all along. It wasn't that he didn't want you, but that he wanted you too much to hold back if given the chance to fully give himself to you. But now it was all out in the open. Now you could finally enjoy each other to the fullest extent.
"I'm okay, Hao. Thank you," you felt shy in the aftermath of it, now fully processing all the words of lust your boyfriend had whispered against your skin as he fucked you into the mattress. You had seen a side of Minghao you hadn't known existed.
"Are you sure? I didn't scare you off, did I?"
"Are you kidding? I've wanted you to do that for ages. I was going insane throwing myself at you!"
He chuckled, booping at your nose lovingly, "You were making my resolve break, my love. Wasn't sure how much longer I could go without going past my limit."
"Could've talked me through it at least once, you know. I wouldn't've objected," you humphed.
"How about I make up for it now, hmm? Let me clean you up in the shower?"
"Yeah? Gonna tell me how much you want me again?", you grinned against him.
"Yes, my angel. Every single day."
a/n: not proofread and i also had no idea how to end it my bad </3
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yvvxs · 4 months ago
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Words of Affirmation...
‎ ‎↪ ft. argenti. arlan. aventurine. blade. boothill. caelus. dan heng. dr ratio. gallagher. gepard. jing yuan. luka. luocha. sampo. sunday. welt.
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"You're beautiful." Argenti always tells you. It was true, and he would never lie about that to you. Because he found you beautiful, like a shining star in the sky that will never die out.
"Are you alright?" Arlan would ask, inspecting you for any wounds or injuries you may have had after the fight with the Antimatter Legion. It wasn't an easy task fighting them off, but he would make sure you were unharmed.
"I would wager everything for you." Aventurine would say, looking into your eyes. He cares about you, and he'd bet everything away just for you, your wellbeing, your happiness. He would give up the cornerstone, his IPC background, everything he ever owned just for you.
"Being with you makes living a bit more bearable." Blade admits, crossing his arms stubbornly. But below that facade, was a soft heart for you. Which loved you so dearly.
"Yer worth more than ma bounty." Boothill grins. To him, even a minute of your time, a minute of being in your presence was something more precious than any bounty he's had on his head.
"Let's have some fun!" Caelus says excitedly, pulling you by the wrist as the two of you go around the place, finding fun things to do together. Pranking people, going through trash cans, breaking some laws.
"Take a break if you need one." Dan Heng reminds in the middle of one of your trailblazing expeditions. He would be there to protect you from any possible dangers that would hurt you. He promises that silently.
"You did well." Dr. Ratio praises after the two of you study together. Your brain fried from all the information that you learned. But he made sure to give you a reward after all the work that you've put in.
"Here's a drink for you." Gallagher slides a glass your way, a personalized mix that was suited to your tastes. He remembered how sweet, how thick, and even how strong you liked your drinks. Making one just for you.
"I'll protect you." Gepard spoke, holding his weapon out beside himself. A silent reminder that his shield was there to keep you safe from any harm. And he'd make sure justice was served to those who have hurt you.
"Let's take a nap together." Jing Yuan requests, holding his arms out for you. He was finally done with his pending tasks, and it was time for a well-earned break with his beloved.
"You're pretty strong!" Luka encourages as the two of you train together, even if it's just for fun. He enjoys being with you, and swears you're strong enough to take him down.
"Shall we take a stroll?" Luocha invites you to go around with him. Spending some time together, not having to worry about any other pressing matters that the two of you had.
"Your dear Sampo Koski would never break your heart." He reassures you, making sure that you remembered that always. He would rather let himself get caught by the Guards than let him do that to you, ever.
"Would you like some tea?" Sunday offers, but he's already pouring the first glass for you. He loved you, and he'd make sure you were happy when you were with him.
"I'm proud of you." Welt smiles softly after you fix one of the problems at the current stop the Express was at. He really, really was, and he always will be. He just wanted to remind you of that fact.
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↪ Some of them aren't very good at WoA so I'm sorry if this was subpar.
Masterlist || Do not repost nor feed to AI. Reblogs & Comments are much appreciated.
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leaderwonim · 8 months ago
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MR. FUCKING BRIGHTSIDE
pairing. slytherin!jake x hufflepuff!fem!reader
summary. although sim jaeyun constantly surrounds himself with douchebags and looks like he could stomp all over a girl’s heart; you knew the real him that was deep inside. but did you really?
genre. hogwarts!au, ANGST, bits of fluff, right person wrong circumstances, forbidden/secret love
warnings. jake can be a bit of an asshole, the insult “mudblood” is used, slytherin gets shitted on as a house (dw, i’m a slytherin 😭)
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Sim Jaeyun, or everybody knew him as Jake, the sixth year Slytherin, seeker of his house’s Quidditch team, and nevertheless, charming to every girl that has stepped foot in his proximity.
Half of your friends would disagree—that he was not charming but rather just another slithering snake in the worst possible house at Hogwarts.
Jake’s friend group consisted of three people: Draco Malfoy, Blaise, and Pansy Parkinson. They just so happen to be an insufferable lot, maybe except Blaise who minded his own business half of the time.
“Today you will be working in pairs.” Professor McGonagall states, fixing her glasses as she holds a stroll of paper. “I’ve already decided them, absolutely no changes.”
There’s groans that fill the room, one of whom you recognize as no other than Jake.
“Seriously? I wanted to pair up with Blaise!” He whines, earning a glare from Draco. “What? C’mon Dray, we both know you and I don’t get anything done.”
“Alright,” Professor McGonagall clears her throat. “Blaise Zabini with Nancy Drumswell, Aidan Callaghan with Hermione Granger, Harry Potter with Neville Longbottom, Draco Malfoy with Pansy Parkinson, and finally, Jaeyun Sim with Y/N L/N.”
You don’t blink when you realize who your partner is. Rather, you just sigh a bit in defeat, coming to the conclusion that you cannot do anything to convince McGonagall to change partners.
“Hey.” Jake plops himself down on the seat next to you, laughing as Draco gives him a shove on the way to his own table.
“Hi.” You murmur, suddenly finding your yellow robe more interesting than him.
“I’ve never been paired with a Hufflepuff before.” He grins, the shit eating grin that weirdly captives your senses. “Are you guys as nice as you claim to be?”
“I don’t know Jaeyun, you tell me.”
Jake’s eyes widen before he lets out a giggle. “Jaeyun? No one ever calls me that anymore.”
You shrug, sliding him the piece of paper with the instructions to your project. “You can stop by the Hufflepuff dormitories at 8, I’ll be done with dinner by then and I’ll open it for you.”
“Sounds like a plan sweetheart.”
You cringe at his words, the obvious disdain on your face makes him laugh even harder.
“I’ll see you then.” He whispers, and just like a movie, stands up as soon as McGonagall dismisses the class, merging into one with his friends.
♡;
Just as the clock struck eight, you heard a knock. Your books, pens, and parchment were spread out in front of you, eagerly waiting to be used.
As you slowly get up to open the door, you’re met face to face with Jake, who entered the room with a confident stride
"Hey there, Y/N," Jake greeted, flashing you a charming smile as he took a seat across from your side of the table.
"Hey," you politely turn his smile. "Ready to tackle this project?"
"Absolutely," he affirmed, pulling out his own notes and spreading them out on the table. "I've got some ideas already. How about you?"
You nodded, slightly impressed by Jake's readiness to dive into the work. "I've been brainstorming as well. Maybe we can combine our ideas and come up with something great."
As the two of you began discussing your approaches to the project, youcouldn't help but notice how articulate and intelligent Jake was when he wasn't surrounded by his usual group of friends. His confidence shone through, but it was paired with a genuine interest in the subject matter that caught you off guard.
"You sure sound different when you’re not around Draco," You remarked.
Jake only chuckled, a hint of self-deprecation in his voice. "Yeah, well, I guess I don't always show this side of me around my friends. They have a different idea of what's cool."
You can only nod in understanding, realizing that Jake was more complex than you had initially assumed.
As you continued working, you couldn’t help but find yourself paying closer attention to the small details about him—the way his brow furrowed in concentration, the soft lilt in his voice when he explained a concept, the way his eyes sparkled with passion for the project.
"Thanks for coming, Jake," you say, offering him a genuine smile. "I really enjoyed working with you."
Jake returned your smile, his eyes meeting yours with a warmth that sent a sudden flutter through your heart. "Anytime, Y/N. I had a great time too."
As you bid each other goodnight, you couldn’t help but suddenly miss his presence, something you didn’t expect to happen with just one session with him.
♡;
In your second studying session, you and Jake found yourselves engrossed in their project once again. This time, you two decided to move to a quiet corner of the library, away from prying eyes and distractions. The Hufflepuff dorms were too crowded, and you knew you’d rather die than step into the Slytherin dormitory as a Hufflepuff.
As you discussed your research findings, you couldn't help but notice how Jake's demeanor had softened since your last meeting. He seemed more relaxed, more open, as if he felt comfortable letting his guard down around you.
Jake suddenly reached across the table to grab a book, his hand brushing against yours in the process. It was a simple gesture, but it sent a jolt of electricity coursing through your veins, leaving you quite literally breathless for a moment. “Here Y/N, I heard this book was good for this particular topic.”
Your eyes met briefly, and you felt your cheeks flush with warmth.
“Thanks,” you murmur, looking down slightly.
Jake smiled back at you, seemingly oblivious to the effect his touch had on you. For a person who charms so much girls, you’d think he know how much his advances affected others.
“No problem, seems like we got a lot done within these 2 days huh?”
"Yeah, it seems so," you reply softly.
Even though it had only been 2 nights, in those quiet moments, away from the prying eyes of their classmates, you had realized just how much you actually enjoyed Jake's company. He wasn't just the annoying Slytherin she had initially pegged him to be—he was kind, intelligent, and surprisingly easy to talk to.
"I guess that's it for tonight," Jake said, a hint of disappointment in his voice. “Can’t believe they only allow Prefects in the library past ten.”
"Yeah," you groan, feeling a pang of sadness at the thought of saying goodbye. "But we'll see each other again soon, right?"
Jake nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Definitely. Let’s just hope Malfoy doesn’t ruin it.”
♡;
As you made your way through the corridors of Hogwarts with Hermione, you spotted Jake surrounded by his Slytherin friends, including Draco and Pansy. Suddenly feeling the wave of confidence at the sight of him, you decided to muster up the courage to approach him.
But as you drew nearer, you noticed a subtle shift in Jake's demeanor. His usual friendly expression hardened, and a smirk spread across his lips as he turned to face you and Hermione.
"Look who it is, boys," Draco says, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Little Miss Hufflepuff herself."
Jake and Pansy chuckled, exchanging knowing glances with Draco as if they were in on some inside joke. Your smile faltered, confusion and hurt swirling in your chest as you struggled to make sense of Jake's sudden change in attitude.
"Um, hi, Jaeyun," you replied, voice barely above a whisper as you fought to keep her composure.
"Seriously? Jaeyun? That’s hysterical.” Pansy laughs, as if it was the funniest thing in the world.
“What's the matter, Y/N? Can't find anyone from your own house so you bother our Jake here?” Draco continues to taunt you, his words like daggers aimed straight at your heart. “Or should I say Jaeyun?”
You felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment as the laughter of Jake's friends echoed in your ears. You had never felt so small, so insignificant to the group in front of you.
“I was hoping to discuss our project.” You say quietly, looking at anyone but Jake.
Hermione could sense your hostility, pulling you close to her side as she gave Draco a snarl.
“Listen Y/N,” Jake says, “all that crap you Hufflepuffs preach about loving each other and expressing feelings is a lie. No one really cares about what you have to say.”
“Alright, that’s enough!” Hermione says, shielding you by putting herself in front of your frame. “What has gotten into you?”
But Jake just shrugged her off, his smirk widening into a sneer. "Mind your own business, mudblood. This doesn't concern you."
Feeling the sting of tears threatening to spill from your eyes, you quickly turn on your heel and fled down the corridor, desperate to escape the humiliation of Jake's cruel words.
Had you really been so stupid to place your trust in Sim Jaeyun knowing full well his reputation? By the looks of it, all answers pointed to yes.
♡;
By 7pm, the sun had dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow across the surface of the Black Lake just in front of the Slytherin Common Rooms.
“Y/N?” Almost as if he knew exactly where you were, Jake shows up in front of you, making you give him a glare.
"I'm so sorry, Y/N," he murmured, his voice tinged with remorse as he avoided your gaze. He takes a seat next to you on the grass, his fingers tracing patterns across them in nervousness. "I messed up back there. I let my pride get the best of me, and I hurt you in the process. I should have stood up for you."
You sighed, your heart heavy with disappointment but softened by Jake's sincerity.
“I don’t get it,” you say. “One moment you’re all kind and sincere around me, and the next, you say all these things like I’m worth nothing.”
The two of you sat in silence for a moment, the air filled with the gentle rustle of leaves and the distant calls of birds. Then, Jake spoke again, his voice hesitant but earnest. "I guess my friends just have an influence on me that I can’t control. I’m sorry for what I said earlier, you’re one of the kindest people I've ever met, Y/N. I admire that about you."
You slightly smiled, a warm flush spreading across your cheeks. "Thank you, Jake. That means a lot to me."
As the sky darkened and stars began to twinkle overhead, the two of you continued to talk, laughter mingling with the night air.
♡;
The next night was one of the more important nights at Hogwarts. Everybody had finished their exams—and the Ravenclaws decided to throw a party at their Commons.
The music throbbed as you entered with Ron Weasley, who, at the sight of his twin brothers, ran towards them. You roll your eyes at his behavior, and start pulsing through the crowded room, a plastic smile plastered on your face.
You notice Jake in the corner, sipping on what looked like a bottle of beer. He exchanged nods and greetings with those around him, his eyes scanning the room for something—someone.
But before you could gawk at him any longer, Draco cut in smoothly, his tone laced with mockery. "Oh, look who decided to show up. Did you bring your Hufflepuff friend to the party, Jake? How charming."
Pansy giggled, her eyes glittering with malice as she looked at you up and down. "I didn't know us Slytherins were into charity work."
“Guys, seriously? Cut it out,” Jake gulps, eyes directly meeting yours.
“He’s right,” Blaise says, and you swear it’s the most you’ve ever heard out of him. “Don’t ruin the party.”
“Whatever.” Pansy throws her hand in mock surrender. “Wouldn’t want to make the Hufflepuff cry.”
Hermione comes to your rescue right after Pansy throws you a glare.
“Piss off.” She says, interlocking her arms with yours.
“Thanks ‘Mione.” You thank her softly as you’re lead away from the lot. “For saving me back there.”
“Always,” she smiles. “Now cmon, I heard Ron’s already drunk!”
You two giggle at that, you letting Hermione lead the way into the crowd of people.
♡;
It’s about 2 hours later and the Ravenclaw party is still loud as ever, filled with with laughter and music.
Despite the Weasley twins making a full ruckus of themselves, your eyes were drawn to a figure slumped in a corner. It was Jake, only this time, he looked uncharacteristically vulnerable, his face pale and contorted with some type of emotion you hadn’t seen before.
Concern etched onto your features, and your body felt itself navigating through the crowd of people until you’re knelt beside him. "Jake? Are you alright? Where’s Draco?”
He lifted his head, and you swore you felt your heart clenched at the sight of his glassy eyes and trembling lips. "I'm fine," he mumbled, but his voice betrayed the lie.
"No, you're not," you reply softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?"
Jake swallowed hard, his gaze flickering with a mix of emotions. "It's... it's nothing," he slurred, but his words lacked conviction.
You stayed silent, sensing he needed to unburden himself. After a moment, he spoke again, his voice raw with emotion. "Do you think I’m good for nothing?”
"What?" You asked gently, your heart sinking as you watched him struggle to form his thoughts.
"I mean look at this, look at me," Jake gestured vaguely, gesturing to the party around the two of you. "This charade I constantly put on. Pretending to be someone I'm not."
Your brows furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"I mean..." Jake trailed off, his breath hitching. "Was it all worth the six years of be pretending to be who I wasn’t? Pretending to be the egoistic charming Slytherin everyone claims to know so well?”
Jake pauses before looking up at you, his eyes swimming with unshed tears. "You know I care about you a lot, right? I like you, a lot.”
“You do?” You say quietly, brushing a few loose strands of hair out of his eyes.
“But we just can’t.”
“What?”
“Why not?”
"Because,” Jake's voice cracked, and he looked away. "Because I wish you were in Slytherin."
You felt your heart shatter into a million pieces at his words. You almost knew it then, with a painful realization that you could never compete with the loyalty he felt towards his house and the expectations placed upon him by his housemates.
Tears stung your eyes as you realized there was nothing she could do to change his mind. With a heavy heart, you rose to your feet.
“Well I’m sorry then, Jake.” You say, turning around so he wouldn’t see your tears.
And as you walked away, the echoes of his confession lingered in your mind, haunting your thoughts with the bitter realization that sometimes, love simply wasn't enough.
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ambermotta · 11 months ago
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6 Types of Protection Magick
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There are many ways one can do protective magick. In this post I'll be going into 6 of the most common and accessible ones!
Please understand that even one "protection magick type" can be done in an infinity of ways, some of which are closed to certain practices.
Disclaimer: based on my experience and research. I don't claim to know all truth. Further study is encouraged!
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#1 — Magic circle
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The magic circle consists of creating a protection and delimiting a sacred space for magic and/or ritual.
The magic circle is probably one of the most popular protection methods thanks to its encouraged use in Wicca. However, other traditions have made use of similar concepts, such as in the afro-brazillian Umbanda concept of "chain".
The circle can be physically drawn on the ground, delimited by the members inside the circle, or visualized.
Casting one is fairly simple since it can be done in different ways, either in groups or solitary practice. You can use tools such as wands, chalk or physical objects to draw it, but what matters most is intention and successful visualization.
Before casting a circle it's important to have everything you will need already within grasp and inside the circle, since once created it is advisable that no one leaves it until the work is complete.
#2 — Amulets, and Enchanted Items
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Enchanted Items are a very popular and effective form of magic, especially for personal use. These are often common objects that have been enchanted for protection.
They are often necklaces, rings and other jewelry since these are the most practical to carry around without suspicion. However, they can be any object.
Amulets can be created via enchanting, charms, or by asking deities and spirits to bless them with protective qualities.
The material and imagery used to create the talisman is also important in determining the kind of job it wants to do.
#3 — Sigils and other drawn Symbols
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Sigils and Symbols can be used both for personal protection and for warding spaces. Here I am also including Runes.
They can be carved into objects, drawn upon skin and surfaces, or even tattooed.
However, before using any sigil, symbol or rune it is of extreme importance that you know exactly what they do, and know as much about them as possible. Especially if you plan on drawing them on your skin (either temporarily or permanently).
Unless specifically used only for protection purposes, inadequate use of them can lead to disaster. Even then, the type of protection they bring can vary.
For example, a protection sigil that works by hiding you from threats is different from a sigil that fights threats that come to you. It's important to set or to know how their protection work so that you do not come across unwanted results.
#4 — Prayer
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My definition of praying: focusing on sending a message to a higher spiritual power, be it an entity, deity or energy.
Prayers are a great way of manifesting protection, though since you are asking for it to a higher power you must understand that it may choose to not grant it, or not grant it in the way you expect.
Plus, it is very important to know where you stand with this energy or entity. Do you work with them already? For how long? What is the nature of the relationship? Do you truly know them well enough to ask them for this? Is it really appropriate?
Cultivating a good relationship and having manners can be decisive factors for manifesting this sort of protection. Plus, it's always good to "give back" in some way. To receive something, something must be given eventually.
#5 — Affirmations and Visualizations
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Words and the mind have innate power. Affirmations and visualizations are great ways to manifest protections because they rely only on yourself.
They are easier to do right if you use them together with other methods, or if you have physical representations of the work being done. To be successful one must focus, "feel" them happening, and maintaining that without help can be difficult. Frequent practice will help you get the hang of it.
There are also techniques that make affirmations and visualizations both more powerful and easier to accomplish.
#6 — Warding
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Warding is when you set up a semi-permanent protection in a specific place, such as your house.
It can be done in many different ways. One of the most common is to have an object or place designated as the "holder" of the ward, which should be well kept.
Warding will be more powerful if you are frequently cleansing the space and recharging the ward. Leaving it alone for too long can weaken in or make it lose its properties altogether.
Some plants are used for this kind of protection, since they (usually) stay in place, can be powerful magical allies, and you'll be checking on them often anyway. The ones usued are often those with thorns, threatening-looking leaves, or even poison.
Note: always be very careful about bringing poisonous plants home, especially if you have children or pets.
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Conclusion
This was an overview of the most common types of protective magick. A lot of protection spells and works fall somewhere within these categories, or are a combination of them.
Each tradition has a certain way of going about spiritual protection, so if you are exploring an specific path, I encourage you to not only research about protection in general but to also look into what unique techniques your path has to offer!
Many blessings and thank you for reading! ♡
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vrystalius · 3 months ago
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💕 The Love Languages of Hashira
How the hashira express their love for you!
Here’s part 2 with Giyu, Obanai, Mitsuri and Shinobu.
Here’s my masterlist. My requests are open <3
Author’s Note: I didn’t use any gender specific pronouns, or at least tried to. This is my very first thingy I posted on here, so please tell me your opinion on this piece! Correct me on grammatical and spelling errors, english is not my first language. Anyways, enjoy! <3
Note: Tysm for over 100 notes!!
Pairing: Sanemi, Gyomei, Kyojuro, Tengen x gn!reader
💚Sanemi Shinazugawa 💚
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Acts of service (Intensity: 6/10)
Sanemi isn’t very good with words, often coming off as rude and cold, even if he tries to be nice. He just has this talent to come off as an asshole. His intimidating appearance is not helping it.
So instead of relying on his words to express his love and affection for you, he would much rather do acts of service, even if they are small. Sanemi helps you undress after a long day, his movement slow and gentle as if you’re the most fragile thing that ever grazed his touch, folding your clothes and putting them aside to wash later. He massages your shoulders, his large palms hitting all the right spots and making the knots disappear. He cooks for you, having picked up a recipe or two from his mother, who taught him back then when Sanemi had to cook for his siblings with whatever they had. The meals he makes are personal comfort dishes and he likes sharing them with you.
Physical affection (Intensity: 8/10)
Something Sanemi just loves to do after a long night his duties is to just melt in your arms. Sanemi is a very light sleeper, waking up because of everything and any sound, but something that makes him feel more secure is to sleep in your arms. The warmth of your skin makes him feel safe and comforted, feel loved and wanted, some sort of save haven. Somewhere he can always return to.
But Sanemi also shows his affections during the day, may it be some quiet handholding or holding you by your waist, reminding himself that you are right here, with him. Hugs are a little difficult for him though, he just doesn’t really know what to do. Sanemi stiffens up immediately when you hug him, especially out of nowhere. 
Quality time (Intensity: 10/10)
(I’m going to keep this part short since it was already kind of in the two above)
If he could, Sanemi would spend all of his time in the day and night with you. Doesn’t matter what you two are doing, he just wants to be close to you and soak in your presence. He likes it when you watch him train though, that’s when he gets to show off all his muscles and skill, making you laugh and perhaps even jokingly squeeze his bicep.
“Y’know, I can make us some ohagi after this. I-If ya want.”
🤎 Gyomei Himejima 🤎
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Physical affection (Intensity: 9/10)
As a blind man, Gyomei relies on his other senses to guide him. His favourite way to express his affection also is influenced by that. Since he can’t stare at you for hours a day, even if he’d love to, he’ll simply hold you close for hours as compensation. Since Gyomei is much larger than you, he loves to cuddle you close against his chest. His favourite thing is to caress your back while you listen to his calm heartbeat.
During the day Gyomei likes having his large palm on your body. For example on your shoulder to show his support and comfort, or on your waist so he can take a walk with you while staying close, or just gentle, but big bear hugs. 
Words of affirmation (Intensity: 7/10)
Gyomei likes having long conversations with you during breaks of his training or after a long night fighting demons. He enjoys listening to you talk about your day and tell him all about the things you have done, no matter how boring or unimportant it seemed to you. Gyomei would sit there in silence, rubbing his palms together in his usual gesture and listen with a soft smile on his face.
What Gyomei loves to do as well is to compliment you. He can’t really say anything about your appearance, not that he cares, so his compliments are always different and even a little creative. From complimenting how you smell, to the way how comforting your footsteps sound. 
“Ah, my light, it’s you. Sit, I have just finished my daily training. We can talk a little.”
❤️‍🔥 Kyojuro Rengoku ❤️‍🔥
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Receiving gifts (intensity: 6/10)
To say that Kyojuro loves your cooking is an understatement. This man will compliment your cooking in every way possible, no matter if you dish him the most exquisite five star high grade wagyu or plate him one of Tengen’s Muscle Mice with a sprinkle of salt. Whatever it is, he will eat it and he will thank you for it (loudly). 
Kyojuro loves it when you give Senjuro gifts too, it makes him feel warm inside when he sees his little brother happy and taken care of. 
He also adores it when you buy him things that remind you of him. For example, a yukata with a flame pattern, or buy him a batch of sweet potatoes that he will inhale in a span of two days maximum.
Words of affirmation (intensity: 10/10)
Kyojuro lives and breathes to praise you on everything you do. He adores you and isn’t shy to express it, even in front of the other hashira (even though Sanemi gives him a glare every time he does it).
He praises you on everything you do. How you’re dressed, your hair, your face, your voice… the list goes on and on.
But when it’s dark out and you two are in bed, he whispers his sweeting nothings and compliments into your ear while holding you close to his body.
Physical affection (intensity: 8/10)
Kyojuro’s body is a heater, wich is gruelling in the summer but a blessing in the winter. He wraps you into his arms, holding you close to his warm chest, caressing your back with his calloused palm and planting soft kisses on your cheek, forehead and lips. His body warmth is enough for the two of you, so blankets are not really needed.
Kyojuro is a cuddlebug, so cuddling in the summer is also a must, even though the sheets ans bodies will be soaked and dripping in the morning. You will be sweating, and Kyojuro will somehow find a way to compliment the smell of your sweat.
“My dearest flame! I just bought you s matching kimono. Now the yukata you bought and your new kimono can match! It will suit you and your body perfectly!”
🩷 Tengen Uzui 🩷
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Quality time (intensity: 9/10)
Tengen adores spending time with all three of his wives, even more when it’s time at home, just chilling. Tengen could be just having your head on his lap, braiding your hair while you gossip with Makio, Hinatsuru and Suma. Tengen of course chimes in when it gets juicy.
Sometimes you visit the hotsprings all together. Tengen uses this opportunity to flex his muscles and show off, but you and the other three just giggle quietly at his embarrassing tan marks. Even though Tengen doesn’t enjoy being laughed at, he enjoys the time he spends with you and Hinatsuru, Makio and Suma.
Words of affirmation (intensity: 7/10)
Tengen loves to get complimented on his flamboyantness and flashiness, but he loves complimenting you as well. He calls you flashy, beautiful, flamboyant, adorable and more. He’s not very creative with his words, but at least he’s expressing his love!
“Well, I have to say that you three look VERY flamboyant tonight!”
“Can you call us ANYTHING but flamboyant for once?!”
“Well, we do appreciate it.”
“Yeah, but he can change them up every once in a while!”
💠
Thank you for reading my first piece of work! I was really nervous while writing and posting it, so some things may feel a little off. Sorry about that! And of course, I want to credit my cat as a co-author on this fic.
Anyways, make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough.
Take care of yourselves <3
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gay-dorito-dust · 3 months ago
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Heyy,love your headcanon stuff! Especially the Batboys things
Wondering if you could do a few headcanons with the Batboys where the reader gets injured from a sport,work or something like that and they hide it from the Batboys?
It's all good if you can't or already have written something similar to this :)
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Dick
Thought everything was okay until he started to notice how you’d carefully and meticulously planned out how you should move your body, which almost made you look robotic in the process.
That was when he knew something was wrong when you refused to let him hold your afflicted side, strict that you weren’t in the mood for it, but it was obvious to dick that wasn’t the case.
He’d even notice your breath hitched in your throat when you moved a certain way too fast, pulling on your injured side in a way that caused you to stop and try to breathe through the pain that was coursing through your body before continuing on with your day as though nothing had happened.
‘Are you okay sweetheart?’ He’d ask softly as you held your side instinctively when you caught it on the edge of the counter, it was a brief bump but it was enough to have you fighting back tears from streaming down your face.
‘No.’ You’d whimper, ‘I’m not. I’m hurt dickie bird.’
With that dick immediately gets you to bed and assess the situation with your side, only to see a particularly nasty looking bruise blossoming across your side in hues of purple, yellow and more. ‘Oh why didn’t you say anything sooner?’ He says as he gingerly held a pack of ice against your bruises, holding your hand with the other as you squeezed it the moment the ice pack made content with your tender side.
‘I didn’t want you to worry about me and my stupid bruises.’ You admitted and dick couldn’t help but kiss your forehead.
‘I’ll always a worry about you sweetheart, no matter what I’ll always worry. So let me take care of you now.’ Dick told you as he then dedicated the rest of his spare time to making sure to ice your bruises while smothering you in kisses and words of affirmation into your skin to take your mind off of the ache in your side.
Damian
He just knows you’re hurt and it’s best not to act like you’re not because it’s not fooling him in the slightest.
Even if you tired to pass it off as something that’ll go away eventually, Damian would see through such an excuse with ease.
‘If that’s the case then why are you still struggling to pick up a kettle when making yourself a drink?’ He would ask and suddenly your mouth became dry and a mind blank of ideas on how to answer that.
Your silence was enough of an answer for Damian to know that you were full of shit and were only making things worse for yourself out of sheer stubbornness to not admit to him that you were hurt.
So Damian took it upon himself to make sure that your hand was properly bandaged, while telling you that you were not allowed to do anything that could cause you more discomfort or make things worse for yourself.
However he would personally over see your healing process himself when he wasn’t on missions, making sure that you were taking your medication, drinking enough fluids and eating enough food while doing the harder tasks for you without a single word uttered past his lips.
Damian was serious about your healing and didn’t want to see you further descend into pain if he could help it while with a look of perpetual annoyance upon his face.
‘If it bothered you so much to look after me then don’t bother-‘
‘No.’
‘No?’ You asked.
‘I don’t trust you to not hurt yourself even more, so let me do it until you can actually lift a kettle again.’ He said and you couldn’t help but smile at his way of saying that he didn’t want you to further hurt yourself out of fear, even if he did possess a unique way of saying it, but you wouldn’t have Damian any other way.
Jason
Had a suspicion that you were injured the moment you didn’t allow yourself to fully utilise your foot without groaning, grabbing on the nearest surface to steady yourself before trying to act like nothing ever happened.
Once Jason had enough of you pretending you were okay, when you clearly weren’t, He doesn’t hesitate to carry you off to your room with little struggle and put you down on your bed.
‘Jason what the-‘
‘You’re hurt and you didn’t think to tell me?’ Jason asked, a little hurt that you didn’t seemly guest him enough to admit to them you were injured, which only made him wonder about all the other times you had been hurt but didn’t say anything to him and instead suffered in silence until you were passed off as fine.
‘I didn’t want to worry you!’ You replied, seeing the hurt in his eyes and immediately feeling bad about your decision because you knew Jason valued honesty and respect in your relationship, and so you could only imagine what was going through his mind upon finding out that you were hiding something from him after having told him everything in your relationship thus far.
‘Of course I’m going to be worried when you’re hurt, you’re hurt and I don’t know how!’ Jason exclaimed but his hands remained gently when elevating your foot on the closest pillow he could find within reach. He then placed a soft, featherlight kiss to your ankle, leaving a pleasant tingle there as he looks at you tiredly. ‘I just want you to come home safe and not in bits, I just want to protect you and keep you happy.’
‘You already do that enough as it is jay birdie!’ You cried as you grabbed his hand and held it close to your chest, thumb rubbing at the pulse point on his wrist soothingly, while kissing each and every one of his fingers. ‘Besides I just tripped up on something when on my daily jog and it sprained my ankle, nothing more, nothing less.’ You explained to him as you pleased with your eyes for him to believe that you were telling the truth.
Jason, being the massive softy that he was towards you, sighed and squeezed your hand. ‘Okay chipmunk but I best not see you walking on your ankle until you’re better.’ He said sternly and you couldn’t help but chuckle.
‘As long as my jay birdie is the one taking care of me, then I’ll never step a toe out of this bed, it’s too comfy.’ You said and Jason visibly relaxed as he kissed your forehead. ‘That’s a shame, I like the aspect of having to carry you back to bed, I didn’t get my morning kiss before you left for your daily jog after all.’ He whispered against your skin.
You and Jason use your sprained ankle as an excuse just to cuddle and spend time together to make up for lost time between the two of you.
Bruce
Another one who’s sharp eyes immediately knows that your hiding your hurt from him.
The biggest give away was the fact that you didn’t put much weight on your afflicted foot and instead poorly attempted to hide your hobbling and facial expressions of intense discomfort you’re putting yourself through just to leave him unsuspecting.
You failed on all grounds when dating/married to a detective/vigilante.
Bruce knows you’re not okay and he’s not going to allow you to make things worse for yourself either, as soon enough he has Alfred help him set up a comfortable space for you to properly rest for the foreseeable future, making sure you had everything you could possibly need and more to make your healing journey more durable.
Even if you tried to deflect any and all notation that you were hurt. Bruce would look at you unimpressed because you were talking to someone who had once tried to fuck up thugs with a couple broken rips, fractured bones and more, only to be stopped by Alfred who walked him back to the manor like a disappointed and overtired father.
Bruce now understood what Alfred felt when he practically had to carry you to your shared room where you were to remain bed bound, not until Alfred said you were cleared to walk the manor without flaring up your injury.
‘This isn’t fair! It’s just a sprain!’ You cried as Bruce made sure that your pillows were fluffed and that your comforting blankets were even fluffier.
‘A sprain that could’ve worsened with how you treated it.’ Bruce replied as he put aside the ibuprofen gel and paracetamol tablets on the nightstand along with a glass of water before gently but quickly elevating your bandaged foot with a pillow.
‘Still i could’ve handled it myself.’ You muttered under your breath.
‘If by better you mean make it worse and prolonging the healing process, then yes I’d say you had it handled well.’ Bruce said sarcastically that you couldn’t help but notice the irony in the statement.
‘You’re just as worse!’ You pointed out, ��how many times has Alfred has to stop you from going out at night while severely hurt?’
‘Too many to count.’ Bruce said under his breath but he only smiled at you and kissed your forehead before getting up from the bed and moved to the door of your shared room, but just as he was about to leave he gave you a pointed look. ‘You.stay.here.’ He gestured to the bed before leaving you to look up at the ceiling, knowing that if Bruce was going to be looking after you, there’s was little to no chance that he would let you step even a toe out of bed without looking at you like a overtired husband.
Bonus: baby dick and Jason are your ‘bodyguards.’ Who will tell Bruce if you even tried to leave bed before you were fully healed.
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nerinefy · 8 months ago
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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ A LIFE WITH HIM ; FT. some OVERBLOT BOYS .𖥔 ݁ ˖
★ synopsis: how will they be like as your partner?
★ details: you/yours | headcanon | too much fluff | 1,000+ words
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✦ ┊RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS
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PHYSICAL AFFECTION (GIVING & RECEIVING)
★ not too big on PDA, so expect that the most skin-to-skin contact you two can have outside is the occasional hand-holding. he likes it when he's the one initiating the gesture whenever you two are out and about since he still can't help but have the need to be in control even after his overblot (like leading you to places and making sure ur still by his side).
★ he doesn't admit it but he loves when you link your arm with his and nuzzle your face into his shoulder (although he will still scold you if you do it) ESPECIALLY when he's in a mood and is almost about to off the heads of some rule-breakers OR maybe when you're giving too much attention to a rando because he may not admit it but he's greedy and wants your eyes on him only (but he's a gentleman and will never speak about it, only dismissing his inappropriate thoughts.)
★ in private though he's just a snuggly little cuddle bug, even more so if he's tired or stressed or most likely both. so many responsibilities are piled up on his plate just in his second year so the only thing that keeps his shit together is your warm and loving embrace. HE'S A SMALL SPOON. NO BACKSIES, okay maybe he's a big spoon if you're the one who needs a little more loving.
GIFT-GIVING
★ i mean from the name itself ROSEHEARTS, roses are his go-to (he's corny but we love him like that), but if you have a different favorite flower then he'll get those, and if you're allergic he'll try to make those handmade ones! although a little sloppy, pretty successful for his first try. overall he likes giving the traditional gifts like bouquets, stuffed animals, and chocolates :) but if he gets to know you more it might be more personal and intimate stuff that fits your tastes, and of course, should be of use to you too.
THE SIMPLE THINGS
★ whenever you're stuck on a study session late at night he likes inviting you to take a break and brew some tea for you. he'll even share some sweets that Trey gave him. although he won't leave you alone after he finds you like that, instead he pulls out some reviewers he has and helps you work on whatever you find difficult to understand.
WORD AFFIRMATIONS
★ "Our race is nowhere near finished, so please my rose, stay strong, I know you can and want to do so. I am always by your side okay?"
✦ ┊LEONA KINGSCHOLAR
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PHYSICAL AFFECTION (GIVING & RECEIVING)
★ hugs, hugs, and MORE HUGS. just lots of hugs! doesn't matter if he's a big spoon or small spoon, he needs you by his side 24/7, 365. he just has to have his scent all over you u know, half-breed things. this man is just lazing around anywhere so might as well bring his favorite pillow with him. and no, he doesn't care if you have class and need to take a test worth half your grade, he needs you more! ★ of course, he doesn't have long-ass hair for nothing, go be his peasant and brush it, most preferably with your fingers if he's having a good hair day. your soft fingers massaging his scalp are quite literally going to take him to heaven, and he'll have no regrets tho so go pocket something if that happens. ★ he doesn't pick favorites when it comes to giving and receiving physical affection, he just wants his hands all over you and if the job is done then he's good.
GIFT-GIVING
★ honestly man, i don't know with him. he's raised right so of course he gives you stuff like flowers and so on. on the other hand tho he isn't the type to know what you like and will most likely just ask you what you want him to give you. maybe he'll just take you to go fetch them at the store itself if he isn't sure. but on special days like your birthday or your anniversary (assuming ya'll would last more than a week), he actually tries and it's pretty sweet and more elaborate.
THE SIMPLE THINGS
★ whenever he's forcibly on a call with his brother, which surprisingly is turning into a regular thing, if Farena asks about how he's doing, Leona likely ends up only yapping about you. i mean yeah he missed his last test and he spent his allowance for the month in a week but does Farena know about the time you were mumbling Leona's name in your sleep? he will deny it if he's called out for doing so. NO, HE DID NOT PERIOD. *hangs up*
WORD AFFIRMATIONS
★ "Whatever you're thinking of, don't. It's stupid. As much as I don't like admitting this, you're strong, and even more than most beastmen if you set your mind to your goals."
✦ ┊AZUL ASHENGROTTO
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PHYSICAL AFFECTION (GIVING & RECEIVING)
★ man's busy all the time so it's hard to get your hands on him. even if he's not busy, he will sprint for his life just to get away from you. not that he dislikes your affection, the concept is just a little foreign to him. give him time to adjust, then you'll find out how soft his tentacles are! ★ when he's actually busy and working on stuff in his office (when the time comes and he's comfortable) he likes it when you flop yourself on his lap and nuzzle into his chest. he feels guilty that he can't give full focus to you since his schedule truly is packed but you inviting yourself into his office at late hours of the day just to snuggle comforts and assures him in some way. he'll definitely find more time for you, he's trying his best lol! ★ overall he isn't one to initiate the touching even if he's fully vulnerable for you. idk too ask him about it. he's just happy you like him enough that you cling unto him. but if you ask him he may favor hand-holding the most, it may be the least contact but feeling your hand on his is enough for him.
GIFT-GIVING
★ HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. i'm not even kidding, even when it's no special day he'd likely buy stuff just because it reminded him of you or when you coincidentally need it which is pretty cute but can be a little creepy.
THE SIMPLE THINGS
★ i saw a fic back then that said he gives you some coupons and by some i mean a TON in hopes that you visit the Lounge and that is absolutely true. though he forgets you two are together and he can ask you nicely to come over but who can say no to 30% off all menu items?
WORD AFFIRMATIONS
★ "My, how could I ever deny what that cute head of yours and those strong arms of yours can do! You are a valuable asset to me...what kind of asset? Well...it's up to you to decide."
✦ ┊JAMIL VIPER
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PHYSICAL AFFECTION (GIVING & RECIEVING)
★ he's also busy, honestly might be one of the, or if not the busiest of all of these guys. when you two have time to be together tho, even if he's knocked out and drained, he'll never show it. but i can say that's only during the early stages of your relationship with him and depending on how you two met. he likes to present himself in his best state and he really can't do so with his schedule so eventually he just melts and the next thing you know he's hugging you from the back any chance he gets and you feel his heartbeat turn slower by the minute. ★ for those moments that he sees you out and about though he likes patting your cute lil head, no matter what your height is. though he is trying to be a little adventurous with you so he leans in to caress your hair gently and suddenly you're met with a quick smooch. (only when there's no one else in sight so yeah adventurous my ass) ★ like leona, he loves it when you play with his hair, and he does not like to admit it. just remember to keep it neat and use a brush while you're at it, plus a facial and maybe a massage because i know those muscles are TIGHT.
GIFT-GIVING
★ his gifts reek of HANDMADE. idk he has those vibes. handmade flowers, or some origami of cute animals, but he likes giving you handwritten letters the most. it can be hard to communicate his real feelings to you so writing is a way for him to freely and easily express those feelings.
THE SIMPLE THINGS
★ whenever he cooks for Kalim or just whenever he cooks, he suddenly has some leftovers that he decided he'd pack up for you. can't bring himself up to say that excuse so he just gives it to you and walks away.
WORD AFFIRMATIONS
★ "Whining is useless. Do the things you're good at, stop worrying about the things you can't. Oh, I'm sorry...did that come off too harsh?"
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★ author's note: congratulate me for coming back. BASK IN MY GLORIOUS PRESCENCE. (i missed u guys too ig)
©nerinefy 2023-2024 all rights reserved. do not plagiarize, repost, or translate.
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etherealkissed88 · 11 months ago
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𝐣𝐚𝐧𝐢’𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐰 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞
this is how to actually apply the law & this is how i personally manifest. it includes main points that i always try to share on all social media platforms. this guide will contain five steps for how to manifest. enjoy!
🎀 𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬
𝐈. know the 3d is neutral
𝐈𝐈. identify as the inner self
𝐈𝐈𝐈. be the desired version of you in imagination
𝐈𝐕. fulfill
𝐕. its done
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🎀 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭
once you've decided what it is you want...
𝐈. know the 3d is neutral: everything in the 3d has no original meaning, it is always you who assigns it meaning; this is why you are the operant power. you always choose what everything means so stop labeling things as ‘circumstances’ when theres nothing against you, until you give it power by assigning it w meaning. everything in the 3d includes circumstances, thoughts, emotions, doubts, time, everything. all of it has no original meaning. knowing this means that theres nothing to fear and absolutely everything is under your control. as the only source of power, why would you worry about “will this thought manifest?” or “how can i get over this hard circumstance?” when you decide everything’s meaning? no circumstance has power over you, no anxiety has power over you, and this can help you feel more free to make it easier to accept that you really do already have what you want. you cannot be a victim in a reality that has no original meaning. its your choice to identify with any thought or feeling, meaning you have control.
𝐈𝐈. identify as the inner self: yes the human body experiences this 3d. but this human body and five senses are very limited. think about it: if you want to manifest an sp, you cant see your sp's thoughts or if you want to be rich, you cant see money getting transferred into your account, or fat cells burning to give you your desired body. you are also imagination playing the role of this human body and life. so you yourself is limitless, imagining what we label as "limits". imagination = the inner self. you are the inner self who is always present because you are always manifesting and its the inner self (imagination) who manifests. you are always the inner self but when you identify with your human limits you give power to those imaginary limits such as ‘negative thoughts’ and ‘circumstances’ while on the other hand, identifying as the inner self means knowing those limits dont exist. thats why its important to identify as the inner self (you can call it god) who is simply experiencing a human life and has the power to change any aspect of that life. to identify as the inner self, just know you are the inner self and you should never be limited to the human self. if you find yourself searching for shit in the 3d, thats a sign of identifying as the human self. experience what you want as the inner self in imagination to be free. to the inner self everything is instant: when you imagine something it is happening in the now, not past or future. everything is in the present. as the inner self, you remove the idea of a 3d. there is no human self or 3d now, just focus on limitless imagination.
𝐈𝐈𝐈. be the desired version of you in imagination: now that you know you are the inner self, be the desired version of you in imagination. this means imagine using any techniques you want. if you want to be rich, you visualize, affirm, script. use inner convos or sats (and other techniques) to imagine already being the rich version of you. once you imagine it you have already experienced it so it really is done. you also dont have to use a technique, you can simply decide you already have what you want but i personally recommend using a technique at least once. let me give you an example: nelly wants to manifest being rich so she chooses to visualize a scene where she is taking lots of money from the bank to imply that shes rich.
𝐈𝐕. fulfill: whatever you imagine doesnt matter. what matters is how it makes you feel. for example, it doesnt matter if nelly visualized the bank scene or if she affirmed shes rich because techniques dont do anything besides bring you to a fulfilled state. so when to fulfill yourself, imagine whatever you want that provides you a feeling of satisfaction by using whatever techniques you are comfortable with. keep repeating the scene or affirmation or technique until you successfully feel satisfied. you may be able to feel this fulfillment while doing it once or multiple times. you may be able to feel fulfillment in a few days or in one hour. the point is to generally feel good about embodying that ideal version of you. fulfillment = the feeling of knowing you are already that desired version. you reach this state of satisfaction therefore accepting that you already have what you want 100%. the more you continue to get into this fulfilled state, the more natural it becomes so its okay if you dont feel completely satisfied the first time. thats why i said repeat that scene or technique.
𝐕. its done: congratulations, you are what you desired. you are the one with the sp, the one with $100,000, the one living their desired life. continue being/identifying as that person in imagination aka persisting. persisting means continuously choosing to identify with the ideal version of you whenever you think about it. see the world through the eyes of the one who has to their desire already. move thro the 3d knowing it is done in imagination. this means you could continue enjoying your techniques by visualizing or thinking as the desired version of you. but also: thoughts come from your state so if you are in the state of being fulfilled with what you desire then your thoughts should naturally match that. if it doesnt, dont stress, just continue satisfying yourself in imagination. being in the state of the wish fulfilled aka feeling fulfillment helps make it easier to stick with your desired state/assumption. whenever you feel lack, fulfill yourself again and remind yourself that its already done. its already yours. theres literally nothing else to do since you experienced it in imagination, youve fulfilled yourself and feel satisfied in imagination and continue sticking with that regardless of the 3d. regardless of the 3d means you are indifferent to the 3d because you know you are the one in power above the dead 3d. you dont care about what the 3d is showing and you stay true to self because that is how you apply the law.
🎀 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲
know the 3d is always neutral so theres no such thing as something working against you, only you give thoughts and circumstances meaning and power. know this because that proves the only source of power that exist is always you so you control everything and nothing in the 3d can tell you no
identify as the inner self, not the human self because the human self is limited while the inner self is forever free and limitless and experiences everything instantly
be the desired version of you in imagination by using any techniques you want
fulfill yourself by satisfying yourself in imagination with whatever techniques or simple decision. return to this fulfilled state / repeat using your techniques to make it natural and give you that knowing feeling
its done meaning theres nothing else to do but persist. no depending on the 3d when everything is already within you. just experience it in imagination and its done instsntly.
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🎀 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 + 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬
“what do i do if there are negative circumstances in the 3d?”
- remember that everything in the 3d is always neutral. you can claim they are negative but dont identify with these ‘circumstances’ by making and dwelling in imaginary negative stories and thoughts. you can say and do whatever you want in the 3d because it never matters (since its all neutral) so theres no need to ignore circumstances. just dont accept them as final. let the discouraged emotions and thoughts out but know you dont have to accept them as true or identify w them. there are negative circumstances. okay and? if circumstances were so hard to get past how is it possible that people still manifest while experiencing the complete opposite of their desire in the 3d? because the 3d and circumstances never matter. you are imagination which always molds the 3d so why worry about the 3d when it will change either way? remember your only job is accepting you have your desire in imagination only. you can accept you dont have shit in the 3d and continue living your normal (shitty) 3d life while still being the version of you who already has your desires in imagination. you can accept the 3d circumstances and move on. im telling you: if you were really fulfilled, you wouldnt care about 'circumstances.' gently get back into the fulfilled state when youre ready. also: you deadass have the choice to identify w the 3d or identify w already having your desire. so its all up to you.
“what should i do if i feel anxiety?”
- whenever i feel anxiety i observe it and let the feeling pass because i know it is always neutral therefore anxiety has no power over me. i would do meditation just to calm myself down but i would not try to force myself to feel fulfilled or do techniques. mental health comes first so relax and calm down, then you gently get back into the state of the wish fulfilled. i dont identify w negative emotions and thoughts. and if i find myself dwelling in it and imagining negative stories, i just stop myself and decide it didnt effect me (or my manifestation in any way). returning to the fulfilled state is always the answer.
“ive been persisting for a long time but it still hasnt reflected”
- stop trying to get shit in the 3d and start being satisfied with already having it. these links might help: 1, 2, 3.
"i feel fulfilled but the next day i fall out the state"
just return to the state whenever your ready. thats all that matters. it doesnt matter what happens but how you react: are you accepting/assuming that you "ruined your manifestation" or do you just move on because you know you are still human who experiences demotivation? read these: 1, 2.
if theres anymore questions, check my masterlists for answers: tumblr, twitter.
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🎀 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐩𝐬
- actually apply the fucking law. a lot of you just ask questions and then “try” to apply and when one thing seems wrong, you go back to asking questions and wasting both your time and mine. persist. apply the fucking law and stop looking for outside validation.
- get tf off your phone. this is my favorite tip ever because the internet and people can rly demotivate you. delete social apps like tumblr and twitter and insta etc. you already know about the law after reading this so give up on search for more info. being independent from the media and your phone rly provides freeness and calmness. you know when you tell your mom your sick and she says something like “its that damn phone”? well lemme be your mother real quick and tell you “its that damn phone” when you complain about “the law not working”. the law is always working. you just arent applying correctly to get what you want. get off the phone and find some other hobbies instead of overconsuming.
- dont use your past “failures” to validate your current experience. you can do it! i know you can! its too easy but you think its hard.
- you always hold all the power so dont identify with negative thoughts and if you do, you can just decide it doesnt affect you (either way it wont unless you identify with the thought/emotion). you always have a say in every second of your life. be the god of your reality.
- remember, your only goal is changing self: you change who you are being in imagination and stick with it. if this post was not clear enough, i have a law of assumption cheat sheet on twitter for clearer info. but after this, its time to delete your apps and actually apply. im not playing.
- for the links that are from twitter: some of them are threads and you could only see it thro the twitter app to see the full thread
thank you so much for reading. i rly hope this helps people and clears things up. now delete your apps and apply! it all comes down to YOU.
kisses, jani ☆
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strwberri-milk · 3 months ago
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Hi! Can you do each lad boy on how they would be with a sensitive reader? (As in like they are emotional and get their feelings hurt easily and stuff)
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im combining these two bc they are very sim to me <3
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Zayne is very good with your feelings, thankfully. He learned very quickly what sorts of things upset you - not by doing them himself but simply by asking you what your boundaries are. That means typically, he's not the one who's going to be hurting your feelings unless something very extreme happened.
More likely than not, if you're upset it's either because of something you saw or something someone else said to you. Thankfully he's going to try to comfort you, telling you that whatever they told you doesn't matter because at the end of day you know who you are and that's all that matters. You thank him for helping rationalise your feelings, knowing that you can always depend on him to help you out whenever your feelings are hurt.
When you're watching sad movies Zayne always makes sure he's already holding you. He tucks your head under his chin and wipes away your tears whenever you start tearing up. He thinks it's adorable how touched you are by movies but he'll never say it aloud, worried you'll grow insecure if he points it out.
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Xavier seems a little apathetic when you don't know him as well which means sometimes you worry he doesn't actually like you as much as he says he does. It takes him a bit of time for him to pick up on your insecurity but once he does he's very good at affirming his love for you through his words. He doesn't speak much but when he does he definitely makes sure his affections for you are felt.
He also doesn't shy away from defending you if someone says something to you while the two of you are out. He's more than happy to defend you and make sure that you know that he doesn't think whatever it is that the other person seemed to be insinuating. He'll remove you from the situation and comfort you once things settle down, wanting you to use him as an emotional crutch.
Whenever you watch a movie that makes you sad Xavier's there to wipe your tears away. He lays down with you as the two of you watch, holding you tightly as he tries not to doze off to keep an eye on you. Even when he does the comforting sound of his breathing thankfully helps keep your emotions at bay, letting him hold you as you watch the movie alone.
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Rafayel is a little tough at first because his words can definitely be biting. He's playful and a little harsh at times which means if you take everything he says personally you will not have a good time with him. That doesn't mean that he's going to hurt your feelings on purpose - just that sometimes the things he say might hurt you if he doesn't think about it.
Despite that he's very gentle with your feelings. Once he figures out what sorts of things you don't want to hear he'll be more intentional with his words and reassure you whenever you need it. He also does have lots of pretty words for you which is very great, letting you bask in them if you're having a rough day emotionally.
The two of you get affected by movies, but you more physically than him. Rafayel tends to keep his more intense emotions on the inside but when you're openly reacting to a movie he's there to comfort you however you need to. Whether that be wiping your tears or being a punching bag when you get mad at a character he's there for you.
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Sylus is also hard at first, more so than Rafayel only because he doesn't seem playful about his biting words. If you don't pay attention to the way he looks at you or the softness in his touch towards you then you might not realise that he's actually very deeply in love with you.
He'd have to explain himself to you time and time again and tell you that he does care for you. He definitely does become softer over time but his way of speaking might just be disagreeable if someone is incredibly sensitive. You don't have to doubt his feelings though because he's constantly holding you or trying to kiss you silly, gently teasing you if you're needy and reminding you how much he loves you.
He'll tease you slightly for reacting so strongly to movies but he's the one holding you to his chest and running his thumb over the back of your knuckles. He's comforting you physically even if he's slightly teasing you, reassuring you that you aren't too much for him and he really doesn't mind taking care of you.
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honeytonedhottie · 5 months ago
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how to protect urself and stop breaking ur own heart⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🍡
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in this world its crucial to learn urself wholly so that u can protect urself in the best way possible. ofc u won't be able to protect urself from everything because some situations are opportunities to grow which is what life is all about. but lets talk about protecting urself and how to NOT break ur own heart…💬🎀
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LEAVE THE PAST WHERE IT IS ;
first thing i wanna touch on is STOP checking on ppl that no longer have space in ur life. its just so stagnant and useless like why do u care? if u have enough time to check on someone from YEARSS ago (especially if this someone did u wrong) then ur wasting time that u won't get back. go spend ur time on something useful like affirming.
i feel like this also encompasses not trying to change people. respect a person for who they are -> not what u hope they will become. dont be friends or get into a relationship with someone for potential because they won't grow and evolve unless they WANT to. if ur thinking "oh just give them time, they have potential" or "they'll change, they won't keep hurting and disregarding my feelings" then ur just wasting ur time.
ALSO it doesnt matter if ur excuse is that you've known each other for a long time, ur allowed to leave relationships, situationships, friendships that no longer serve you its YOUR life. ur 100% allowed.
LEARN URSELF ;
by becoming aware of what u value, what triggers you, ur boundaries etc you can stay true to that and protect urself better. something that u can do to help you to learn yourself + how to protect urself is
make a list of things that u LIKE or are OKAY with. things that make u feel good. then make a list of things that make u feel bad and things that u don’t like…💬🎀
stay true to that list. when u understand urself and ur triggers u can protect urself better. live privately because what ppl don’t know they can’t ruin. not everyone has to know ur business, which leads me to my next point.
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WHAT PEOPLE DONT KNOW, THEY CANT RUIN ;
dont put ur business out there for everyone ALL the time. privacy is power and the more private u are the less people will have to try and sabotage u because not everyone wants the best for you. when u tell everyone everything that makes you vulnerable and vulnerability can be good when building meaningful relationships and connections, you should NOT be vulnerable with every single person.
USE UR INTUITION ;
what u can't immediately sense YOUR BODY CAN. thats why we have things like gut feelings and hunches that often times are correct. ur intuition is like, everything that u know or have experienced subconsciously that u might not be able to recollect quickly, but ur body can. thats why its there.
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krummholz-go · 11 months ago
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The Final 15 - Aziraphale’s Perspective
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I see a lot of empathy for Crowley’s experience during the final 15 minutes of season 2 and it makes sense that we feel deeply for him. What he is experiencing is very human - acknowledging the depth of his own feelings, plucking up the courage to say something, having it come out all wrong, feeling utterly rejected, and then walking away in a mix of pain and anger. Who among us hasn’t been there?
But Aziraphale is experiencing something more complicated, something fewer of us have analogs for. Aziraphale has internally acknowledged his feelings for Crowley for some period of time, probably at least since 1941. Michael Sheen confirms this mental state in a NYCC 2018 interview:
“I decided early on that Aziraphale just loves Crowley. And that’s difficult for him because they are on opposite sides and he doesn’t agree with him on stuff. But it does really help as an actor to go, ‘My objective in this scene is to not show you how much I love you and just gaze longingly at you.’”
Unlike Crowley, Aziraphale’s struggle isn’t acknowledging his feelings. His struggle appears to be two-fold: 1) believing that Crowley could ever love him back and 2) even if Crowley did love him, believing a future for the two of them together could exist within the restrictions of his larger world view.
Can Crowley love?
Angels are, traditionally, beings of love. We see Aziraphale embody this time and again, showing kindness and support to almost everyone he meets, including the amnesiac Gabriel who has treated him abominably in the past. He is attuned to love, remarking on how the area around Tadfield “feels loved” twice in Season 1. As for how Aziraphale personally understands and expresses love, he shows his love to others through verbal affirmation and, to a lesser extent, physical touch. There are many examples of Aziraphale expressing his love for Crowley through positive verbal affirmation, typically by praising him for instances where he has been kind, nice, or good. And on the rare occasions when Aziraphale receives verbal praise, he absolutely interprets it as an expression of love, blossoming with happiness.
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But from Aziraphale’s perspective, it may be unclear if Crowley can feel love in the same way. Can demons love? Did he lose that capability when he fell? Crowley can’t feel the aura of love in Tadfield that Aziraphale remarks on, and his reactions to Aziraphale’s praise are always to shrug it off, tell Aziraphale to “shut up,” or in the most extreme case to physically slam him against a wall and get in his face about it. In this last instance he tells Aziraphale, “I’m a demon, I’m not nice. I'm never nice. Nice is a four-letter word.” A four-letter word, like love, that is not in Crowley’s self-defined vocabulary.
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If Crowley can feel love, does he love Aziraphale?
Even if Aziraphale believes Crowley is capable of feeling love, he does not always recognize how Crowley expresses it in the moment. Crowley shows his love for Aziraphale through actions, but Aziraphale often misconstrues Crowley’s motivations. In 1793 when Crowley rescues him from the Bastille, Aziraphale initially assumes Crowley is only there because he is responsible for the Reign of Terror. Similarly, in 1941, Aziraphale’s reaction to Crowley’s appearance is to assume he’s just part of the Nazi gang, saying,“I should have known. Of course. These people are working for you!”
Crowley doesn’t help matters in this regard because he is constantly muting and undercutting his signals to Aziraphale. Every time Crowley expresses his love for Aziraphale through actions - rescuing him, saving his books, even taking him to lunch - he does so in a nonchalant, dismissive manner, indicating he ascribes little value or importance to the actions he has performed. “I just didn’t want to see you embarrassed,” he says when he appears in 1941. And when Aziraphale positively glows with happiness about his books being saved, Crowley tells him to “shut up."On top of these confusing signals, Crowley is almost pathologically incapable of expressing his feelings in the verbal love language that Aziraphale can understand. This is heartbreakingly demonstrated in this scene after the bookshop fire:
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Crowley can’t even say “I lost you.” Instead he speaks of Aziraphale in the third person while sitting in front of him, saying, “I lost my best friend.” The little hitch on Aziraphale’s face when he hears this is just devastating. Who is Crowley talking about? The last conversation they had before this scene was when Aziraphale called while Hastur was in Crowley’s apartment and Crowley said, “Not a good time - got an old friend here.” Aziraphale is left to wonder - is that who Crowley means when he says "best friend?" Crowley is everything to Aziraphale, but what is he to Crowley?
How Would It Even Work?
Even when Aziraphale does get flashes of the possibility that Crowley may care for him he immediately runs up against his second mental block - there is no world he can imagine where they could be together. When Crowley first suggests running off together in the bandstand scene in S1E3, Aziraphale collapses under the thought: “Friends? We aren’t friends. We are an angel and a demon. We have nothing whatsoever in common. I don’t even like you.”
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While he is obviously in denial, Aziraphale is also under tremendous stress in this moment and is desperately trying to hold onto some stability by falling back onto his world view and ideology. In this state he backpedals all the way to “I don’t even like you.” In his understanding of the way the universe is supposed to work, he and Crowley are hereditary enemies and should not even be friends, much less in love. Aziraphale expresses this core belief throughout the series. What kind of existence could they ever have together in reality?
The Final 15
With this as a background, we can better understand what Aziraphale experiences in the final 15 minutes. Even before the Metatron enters the scene, Aziraphale begins to have his fundamental beliefs challenged which puts him off his footing. The revelation that Gabriel and Beelzebub are in love is deeply impactful. When Beelzebub says “I just found something that mattered more to me than choosing sides” and takes Gabriel’s hand, Aziraphale immediately reaches out to make contact with Crowley, a look of incredulity on his face. Here is proof that demons can feel love and that an angel and a demon can carve out a space together. The road may be difficult, but it is not impossible.
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Before Aziraphale can digest this revelation the stakes are ratcheted up: Michael threatens to erase Aziraphale from the Book of Life due to his part in hiding Gabriel. The future that Aziraphale has just barely glimpsed is already under siege. It is at this point that The Metatron enters, offering Aziraphale not just survival and protection, but a version of everything he has ever wanted.
If Crowley is reinstated as an angel, Aziraphale will no longer have to wonder whether Crowley is capable of feeling love. And if they are both angels, there will be no conflict inherent in having a life together. In one fell swoop, the Metatron entices Aziraphale with a future where there are no remaining blockers to an eternal, loving existence with Crowley. It will be “like the old times, only even nicer” because they now have millennia of their shared history to build on together. Of course this logic is horribly flawed and does not take into account at all what Crowley wants, but in the moment it must feel like an enormous gift to Aziraphale.
Unfortunately, not only is Crowley’s reaction to this “incredibly good news” not what Aziraphale expects, the conversation quickly takes a baffling turn for him. Crowley shuts down the talk about returning to heaven and attempts to say what he wants to say. Sadly he once again utterly fails to speak in a way that Aziraphale can understand.
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The audience knows what Crowley is trying to say because we have the context of his earlier conversation with Maggie and Nina. But Aziraphale lacks that and thus can’t understand where this is coming from or what it means. Rather than expressing his feelings as Beelzebub and Gabriel did, Crowley recites facts: we’ve known each other a long time, we’ve been on this planet a long time, I could always rely on you, you could always rely on me. He can’t even say the word “couple” when he describes them, referring to them more as colleagues with words like “team” and “group.” And the one time he does try to express his feelings and desires he is physically unable to get out the words: “And I would like to spend—.” He then retreats into his old plea to turn away from heaven and hell and run off together. Nowhere in Crowley’s confession does Aziraphale hear “I love you” or even “I want to be with you.” What he hears instead is what he’s heard multiple times before - Crowley wants to abandon both heaven and hell and default to just the two of them. From Aziraphale���s perspective this will not solve anything for them. They will still be an angel and a demon, at some level fundamentally separated by their very natures.
Having failed in his speech, Crowley then does two things in rapid succession that must be excruciatingly painful for Aziraphale. First, he does the opposite of verbal affirmation by calling Aziraphale an idiot. We have seen Aziraphale become physically radiant in the rare instances where Crowley has praised him, so a direct insult like this must feel poisonous. Then Crowley makes a last desperate attempt to communicate through Aziraphale’s other love language - physical touch - by initiating the kiss. But without context or understanding of what is behind it, Aziraphale can initially only experience it as forceful, angry, and shocking. With more time to parse it I think Aziraphale will come to understand Crowley’s meaning, but in the moment it must feel manipulative and borderline cruel.
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The Results
In a very compressed time frame, Aziraphale has to move quickly and radically through multiple mental and emotional states. For 6000 years he has believed he and Crowley cannot be together. Suddenly, with the revelation of Gabriel and Beezlebub, that foundational belief is challenged. Before he can work through what that could mean for him and Crowley, the Metatron offers an even cleaner solution - they can be protected from retribution and be on the same side again. When Crowley rejects reinstatement wholesale, it makes Aziraphale feel that he and his loving offer of a life together have been personally rejected. Then that rejection is further confused through the shocking experience of the kiss which Aziraphale does not have adequate context for or time to understand and integrate. In his emotional turmoil, Aziraphale falls back on his default crutch for dealing with sadness and anger - forgiveness - which further cuts him off from Crowley. Taken all together, this is a tumultuous rollercoaster of whiplash emotions that pull at every part of Aziraphale's self- and world-views.
Compared to what Crowley is going through, I think Aziraphale is going to have the tougher road in Season 3. Crowley may still need to better reconcile and integrate his feelings for Aziraphale, but Aziraphale has 6000 years of foundational ideology to challenge and evolve to reach a place where he and Crowley can be together as their authentic selves.
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ma1dita · 8 months ago
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BABEEE happy birthday!! (i'm so terribly late i'm so sorry) congrats on 23💖
🐥 so i'm having thoughts right now about luke x reader and physical affection. like maybe one of them being touch starved and always craving the other person's touch and the other person noticing it and doing it more? maybe from platonic (i will go down with best friends to lovers) to romantic, i'm just on this brainrot tonight
🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥
luke castellan x reader
a/n: back from the klerb but here with a classic 4am post 🥂 but the hangxiety wont let me rest until this is out! ill edit this in the morning... or not 😗
wc: 1.1k
It’s hard to miss what you’ve never had.
Luke Castellan was never a touchy guy. Sure, he’ll hold a new camper’s hand during welcome tours (especially the little ones who can barely keep up with his long legs; if they’re lucky they get a piggy back ride), and he won’t shy away from a clap on the back when his strategies for capture the flag bring his team to victory (they always do, mind you), and when he feels like it, he’ll even shove Annabeth playfully to show her he adores her (but she packs a punch now that she’s older).
It never really goes past that, and he’s never had to think too hard about it—physical touch.
He’s the one who takes care of others—a part of his nature like it is for Hermes’ cabin to take in unclaimed demigods. But something changed in the months that he’s gotten closer to you. At first, he’d bite his tongue at the way you’re so open to patting his cheek when he does something funny (which he doesn’t try to make a show of, but now…), how you choose to sit so close to him during bonfires that your knees touch (the Apollo kids could be singing about the heavens falling down on them for all he cares but he zeroes in on every word that leaves your lips), and the way you’d lock your fingers with him for a pinky promise after every little thing ‘to make sure it’s real’ (Luke didn’t understand the merit of a pinky promise over whether you could have his dessert for the next week if you took over arts and crafts with the kiddie campers for him; truthfully he’d give it to you anyway). It was unusual for him to have someone comfort him, to show care without a true reason. But he didn’t realize how much more it bothered him now that you wouldn’t even look him in the eye.
Silena and some of the other Aphrodite children had asked you the very defining question of, “Do you like Luke Castellan?” and having never thought of it that way, or being able to put your feelings for him in words instead of fingers in his belt loops or in the muss of his curls—that shit was terrifying!
You spent all Saturday afternoon at the docks with them belly down under the glare of the sun’s rays as they explained to you what the five love languages are. By the end of it, sunburn wasn’t the only reason you felt hot.
“Your love language is physical touch,” one of Silena’s older half-siblings—Connelly, says like he’s explaining that the sky is blue, “And Luke’s not that type of guy! Think he’s more acts of service…”
“Ooh, or words of affirmation….” another one of them muses, but the sound of your heartbeat tunes it all out. Well shit, have you been sending him the wrong signals? Or are there even any signals you want to send him? 
Nevertheless, in the matters of love or even the tiniest whisper of it—maybe there’s no one else you can trust with this stuff besides Cabin 10.
Wrong.
Absolutely wrong. Whatever the hell you’ve been convinced or whatever’s changed since last weekend—Luke just knows he hates it, and he’s angry. He’s angry at how you gasp in surprise every time you brush shoulders during archery practice when you used to let him fix your form, he’s angry at how you’ll squeeze campers’ shoulders to tell them they’re doing a good job carrying the strawberry crates—and all he gets is a mumbled ‘Thanks, Castellan’ when he stacks them up and takes your load.
Luke’s so terribly angry that Travis told him he’s been walking around like a big strawberry, face red and irritated—but not at you. 
He realizes he’s also angry at the fact that he can’t protect you from the onslaught of a rain cloud—or maybe it was the fact that you’re so okay with the rain touching your skin and seeping through your orange shirt like he wishes you’d let him. He’s angry at the way the wind blows your hair into your face and your fingers brush the strands away like he wishes he can. Most of all, Luke Castellan is angry that he didn’t know how good a simple touch could be until he lost it—before he even really got to appreciate yours.
You’re sitting on the opposite end of the row in the amphitheater laughing with your friends and the furrow in his thick brow is a tell-tale sign of his discomfort. Luke doesn’t dare to remember what it’s like before you to be honest—he’d rather give up Elysium instead of having you ignore him like this. He calls your name, a tinge of both anger and desperation until you look over at him, eyelashes kissing your cheeks. The hold you have on him transcends the physical touch of your fingers but he wants, no—needs you next to him.
“C’mere! Why are you so far away?”
Luke hopes it doesn’t sound pathetic, but a crooked grin splits across his face as soon as you make your way over, sitting down and crossing your legs away from him. It’s still too far, even if he can feel your breath on his shoulder.
“Did I do something to make you angry? I…” The words escape his mouth in a jumble—quick wit from his father escaping him, though he knows not to rely on that asshole, god or not. You mutter words that almost escape him too, and he leans in, chasing your hands and putting them in his own until they’re gentle and soft in his lap.
“No, no…. I just… don’t want to push your boundaries. I know you don’t like it when I’m too touchy,” and he thinks his heart clenches a little like how you’re squeezing his hands. Luke shouldn’t feel instant gratification from a subconscious action. He wants to know you mean it with him—that’s what he can’t put into words.
“I….like it when you do.”
You notice the way his fingers tangle tighter with yours, pinkys interlocking with yours. When he lets go, Luke wraps his arm around your shoulders until you’re able to laugh in the crook of his neck. He chooses to place a kiss on the corner of your mouth when your head sways to face him at the silly tune about centaurs and then you realize that Luke loves the way you love him. You wonder if he accidentally missed meeting your lips, but then the noise in your head quiets down when he pulls you closer, lips locking tenderly, intentionally—as they were always meant to.
You both hear a giggle that sounds a lot like tinkling bells belonging to children of Aphrodite. 
For once they were wrong about love. 
Luke’s tongue parts through your lips and meets your own like they’re in a long awaited embrace, dancing and devouring you from the inside out but this, you— are what he can rely on. This, your touch, and how he chooses to let it consume him, never letting go.
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