#something about it makes me so. like. you can physically FEEL the nothingness there and the desperation+fear she has. whew

[cowlvent]

clara reaching back into the unknown darkness for several long, agonizing seconds "i'm right please god say i'm right" AND THEN SHE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the core of their relationship plays out right there: clara can and will defy death, and the doctor will always save clara, even when it seems impossible. (and it's crucial that this is the first really doctor-y moment he has as twelve.) the growth and distortion of these fundamental beliefs drive the two of them to their eventual end.

[mirroringshards]

bpd is actually so crazy i cannot tell you how genuinely intense everything feels.

i get so, so upset during episodes over the smallest of things. it isnt just "oh im sad" either its fucking cutting myself, wanting to die, hyperventilating and begging and pleading and making a plan to kill myself because what im feeling genuinely seems like the end of the world. theres a void inside of me that can only be filled by a love so intense that it drives me to insanity. i will overeat, spend unnecessarily, hurt myself, cling and depend on people who give me the slightest bit of attention, send suggestive things of myself to others, and put myself in dangerous situations just to feel something. that void can only ever be truly filled by an fp. without one, i feel so, so empty. i truly feel like im nothing without them. their whole existence, getting to see and talk to them everyday, getting to be with them, is the whole reason that i continue to survive. the moment theyre gone, even for five minutes, its back to nothingness. i cannot feel without them, i physically cannot bring myself to. but having a fp is so, so painful. their mood determines mine. how they treat me will determine how i feel. everyone else compared to them feels miniscule and unimportant. i could be seriously harmed by another person or admired by another person and it wouldnt matter, because the only person whos opinion of me matters is my fp. i would cut off all of my friends just to be with them and them only. i would do anything to stay with them. and when they leave, you have to understand that my whole purpose has been torn away from me. my whole reason for continuing to live gets fucking ripped away from me. and when they ignore me? i put myself in dangerous situations, i hurt myself, just so theyll come and find me and save me, take care of me, feel bad for me. i try to make them feel the same pain they make me feel by ignoring them, purposely triggering them, trying to get back at them. i hate them, because what could be more important to you than me? i put you above all else, why cant you do the same? nobody else, nothing else, should be more important or as important than me, because thats how i feel about you. and fuck, it hurts so bad knowing my partners will never feel as intensely for me as i will for them, unless im their fp. it hurts knowing that theyll truly never feel the same level of obsession and want for me that i feel for them. that theyll never be able to fully return those feelings. but its so hard being mutual fps with someone. it drives you insane. it can lead to horrid situations.

bpd is so, so hard. i hate this disorder.

[peachsukii]

✮ content. little thoughts related to this post. fem!reader. mentions of mental health struggles & blood/wound care. reader is a little mean to herself. angst w/ comfort + fluff. softie bakugo.

Lost in the nothingness inside your head, you don’t have time to react when the cup slips from your hands, crashing into the sink with a loud crack. It was an accident, but you can’t help thinking that the universe is out to get you, and somehow, that you deserved it. Your favorite mug laid in ceramic slices, shattered under the running water of the kitchen sink.

“The hell was that?” Bakugo calls from the living room while making his way to the kitchen. “Did ya—”

He stops, the look on your face sending a chill through him as you stared into the sink basin, eyes unfocused and hazy. Carefully, he approaches you and turns off the water.

“Sweets, you’re bleeding,” Bakugo says hurriedly, a hand coming to take the shard from your grasp. When did you even pick that up?

“Lemme clean you up, yeah?” It’s phrased as a question, but Bakugo won’t take no for an answer — it’s not in his vocabulary. He runs into the bathroom and back to the kitchen in the blink of an eye, first aid kit in hand. The tin bangs against the counter as he throws it open. He lets out a breath before taking your hand to examine it further.

“Doesn’t look like anythin’ is stuck in the cut. Here,” Bakugo pauses to turn the faucet on and pushes your hand under the icy stream of water. “S’gonna sting, but cold water helps numb it.”

“Might make me feel something,” you mumble monotonously. “Other than stupid for dropping the damn thing.”

“Hey.” Bakugo orders sternly, fingers instantly finding your chin to turn your gaze toward him. “None’a that. Shit happens, you didn’t break it on purpose.”

You roll your eyes at him when he lets go, unintentionally getting snippy at his words. “Sure, I’m constantly terrible at everything because shit happens. Can’t be that I’m a failure of a hero, or at everything lately.”

“Stop.” Bakugo’s hands tremble as he rummages through the first aid kit to find what he needs. He hates seeing you spiral, loathes hearing you talk so poorly about yourself during these episodes. “S’not your fa—”

“But it is my fault!” You don’t mean to interrupt him, but your emotions are getting the best of you in the moment, the pain begging to be released at any cost. “All this misery and pain is exhausting. I should’ve let the villains take—”

Bakugo unexpectedly slams the first aid kit closed and shuts you up instantly. You’re speechless, the sudden outburst shaking you out of your self pity party and shifting into concern for him.

“…Katsuki?” You ask sheepishly, knowing full well your words cut him deeper than any knife could.

“Please…stop.” He turns his back to you, a hand coming to his face to pinch the bridge of his nose. The air is heavy, the only noise being the water trickling over your wound. All he wanted to do was take care of you, fix your physical wounds in order to help heal your emotional ones. "Not sayin' ya can't be upset, just...don't say shit like that."

He’s right, you know he’s right.

“I didn’t mean it.”

“I know.” Bakugo turns back toward you, brushing his fingers over your cheek. “Don’t wanna think about you not bein’ here is all.”

Before you can stop yourself, the question spills over your lips. “But Katsuki, why are you here?”

He hesitates for a few seconds, cycling past the urge to spit back something sarcastic or harsh to such a stupid question. You think for a moment that he’s considering leaving without a word, the hurt in his eyes evident from your negative attitude.

“Do I need a reason?” He tilts his head before lowering his eyes back to your hand, gently taking it in his and flipping your palm toward him, dabbing the excess water away from the open cut. “Y’know if I didn’t wanna be somewhere that I wouldn’t bother.”

“Yeah, but—”

He holds his free hand up to interrupt you. “M’here ‘cause I happen to love your ass and don’t like seein’ ya down. I won’t leave ya when you’re strugglin’, what kind of hero would I be then?”

You don’t mean to, but scoff at the mention of being a hero. “Always gotta be the hero.”

Bakugo stops to take a deep breath before invading your space, dropping the cloth from his hand and encasing you in a hug, his dry hand pushing your cheek against his chest. “Listen, sweetheart. Fight me all ya want, but as long as my heart is beating, m’gonna be here to take care of you. Sunshine or rainstorms, good and bad times. We figure it out together. I’ll keep drillin’ it into your head until you believe me, no matter how long it takes.”

There’s no point in arguing any further or being stubborn, Bakugo always knew how to win that race. A graceful surrender is your best option. He lets out a dry huff of victory at your silence, a tiny grin plastered on his face when he pulls away from you to return to the first aid kit.

“Now lemme wrap up your damn hand before you bleed all over my kitchen, then I’ll take ya to get a new mug. Deal?”

Your lips curl into a half-smile, suddenly feeling a little lighter than earlier, even if it’s just for a moment. “Deal.”

[ghouljams]

sex question!! i think I might be asexual- sex has always been painful for me, not to mention i get zero pleasure from penetration, and i usually leave sessions crying from pain. My libido has plummeted to basically nothingness, but i feel so guilty because I know my husband really enjoys sex. Is this something i should bring up to a gyno?? I’ve never been to one, and i feel embarrassed going in and being like “my cooch doesn’t work right”

Oh my god. Yes babe, you should talk to your gyno like yesterday.

This isnt an asexual thing, this is a mwdical issue that you need to talk to your doctor about. It sounds like vaginismus (potentially) which is a pelvic floor disorder that can cause A LOT of pain during sex.

You also need to talk to your husband about sex being painful for you. Sex that hurts or sex that's forcing your vagina to do something it doesn't want to do can make things worse, and lead to lasting trauma around sex.

You shouldn't feel guilty about putting your health first, and if your husband has a problem with that then... lemme at him and I'll knock some sense into him. He should care more that you're crying after sex than that he wants pleasure. This isn't about him. This is about you not being in pain. He can suck it the fuck up and get himself off if he's that desperate.

Find a gynecologist. I promise you they aren't scary, and they will do their best not to hurt you. If you do end up having vaginismus you'll need physical therapy and they'll help you figure that out as well. Besides that they do a lot of important testing for things like breast cancer and cervical cancer, which everyone should be getting checked for regularly after 25.

Don't be embarrassed to tell your doctor that things aren't working right, that's what they're there for.

[stardustjie]

𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚜

when ellie wanted to go on a walk and you confessed your feelings for her (female reader, fluff)

author's note: this fanfiction was written in may 2023, so way before the current events in palestine. i apologise if posting this is inappropriate. please, boycott and donate to palestine if you can

"so, there is this theory. the universe is essentially cyclical, its destined to end and start again the exact same way. this means history has followed the same path since the dawn of time, humans have suffered and will suffer since we are meant to live the same life over and over an infinite amount of times. however, this also means we have been lived this exact moment and infinite amount of time. we are destined meet in every life, every single one of them" you said, enfolding yourself in ellie's jacket.

it was march. spring was slowly coming and the evening air was still quite cold, enough for ellie to lay her jacket on your shoulders the moment you started complaining about the temperature. there was a party in jackson and you didn’t care enough to ask what the reason to celebrate was. you just wanted to be there if ellie was there. you came earlier than everyone else, watching the door waiting to her to walk through the entrance. you saw her after a good fifteen minutes sat at your table and in a few moments she was sitting in front of you. when the music became too loud she asked if you wanted to keep talking outside.

"basically we are cursed" and she giggled. you were walking right outside the pub, trying to get away from the crowd and stay alone for a while. ellie started to talk about the universe before, about some theories she read on a book she found during one of her patrols. good heavens, you could listen to her ramblings for hours. you hoped that fun fact could impress her, at least a little bit. you could smell her on her jacket, so you squeeze its hems and ellie seemed to notice.

"so meeting me was a curse?" you jokingly asked and that was enough to make the other girl blush. you could feel her nervousness. it was dark already and the street light created a good atmosphere, everything made her face look ever prettier. you couldn’t wait for the summer to come, it would have accentuate her freckles and she would have her iconic half-bun hairstyle.

"absolutely fucking not! i mean... its probably one of the few things i want to experence again. like reading my favourite chapter for the first time again" she clumsily tried to explain, moving her hands a little bit to emphasize the concept. hoping it would make it make sense. for a moment you thought she could physically hear your heartbeat for how hard it was. you had a crush on ellie for quite a while and multiple times you found yourself doing whatever you could to spend more time with her. you even considered joining the patrol training. "how did we started talking about this?"

"well, we started talking about your comic serie, then about the universe and you got a little passionate about the topic. and i shared this amazing theory. i read a few articles in the library the other day, i thought you might find it interesting." you started, looking away to the street. you were to embarassed to actually look at her in the eyes and you could really feel the blood reaching your cheeks, so you decided to focus on a random point in the other direction. "i wanted to impress you. sometimes you start your ramblings and i find myself unable to reply, so i started looking for something to say. that's how i found the most depressing theory ever"

for a good moment you could only hear your own steps on the cobblestone and the confused background noise. ellie just stopped for a moment whike hearing your explaination, her eyes looking into the nothingness in front of her and her mind just internally replaying everything you have said. you stopped after a few steps, turning around just to see ellie lost for a second. before you could ask if everything was okay, she started talking. "wow... i mean, this somehow makes the idea less depressing"

"honestly? i would go through everything just to meet you again and i'm glad the thought of you doing the same isnt that depressing anymore" you replied smiling. in a few seconds ellie was right beside you like before and you just kept walking in silence. a little bit closer this time. the only sounds that filled the silence were your steps and some background voices you didn’t bother to listen. nobody could bother your personal heaven. and if the universe had to be destroyed and recreated to make you live it again, so be it.

"just to be clear, meeting you was the best thing that happened to me so far" you specified, still holding the hems of her jacket between your fingers to keep it on your shoulders. you had the courage to look at her and smile, waiting for a reaction. it was getting late, you were out of the town centre at this point and your two glasses of liquor at the bar made you braver than you would have thought. it was late, the stars were shining right above the two of you and there was no one around you. even the street light were fewer.

you walked a little faster, just a few steps and turned around to face the other girl. ellie had a perplexed expression on her face as she stopped. you slightly leaned forward, towards her. it was difficukt to describe how loud your heartbeat was in that instant and you could physically feel the change of the atmosphere, it was more tense and sentimental. you closed your eyes and took all the courage you had. you couldn’t go back anyway. "if the universe has to collapse to make each other meet again then good. if we had met each other in every universe, in every timeline,... i wouldn’t want to meet anyone else"

saying ellie was startled would be an understatement. little did you know she was hoplessly trying to hide her crush on you or how fast her heart was beating when she had the opportinuty to give you her jacket. you didn’t know about the times she looked at you from afar or how she talked about you to her friends when they were alone or about the many times she wrote about you in her journal. and now there she was, looking at you with wide eyes and not a single word on her mouth as you were essentially confessing your feelings for her.

you waited for her answer for a few moments. you tilted your head and watched her unsure of how you should behave, biting your own lips for the nervousness. you were almost sure you fucked up your friendships at this point. "oh, fuck" she started. her mind was crushing for a hot minute, not really processing what you said. you could see redness speading across her cheeks and over her freckles, decorating her face. "no, its just that... shit"

"too cheesy?" you asked with a slightly embarassed face. at this point you couldn’t really care anymore about whatever feeling of nervousness you have felt during the time you had a crush on her. crush that, at this point, was quite too obvious. it was the perfect moment, the perfect background to have either a romantic confession or your heart broken. it was worth it regardless.

"its the right amount of cheesy" she replied, hiding her mouth behind her hand. ellie never thought anyone would ever think of a space-themed love confession, especially she never thought the prettiest girl in town would confess her feelings for her with a space-themed love confession. "its the perfect amount of cheesy, actually" she commented quietly. she sighed.

you didn’t move a centimetre the moment she walked into your direction, so painfully aware of every step she took. of her perfume and how much you wanted to disapoear in the crook of her neck to snell it properly. of how warm her hand was when she reached for your cheeks. and under the stars, you kissed.

[glupikrol]

uhm.... sekaistuck

Here's my analysis of n25's classpects, I also made art of them, and changed the godtier designs a bit to fit them better, made it a bit more personalized.

Kanade - Sylph of Time

Sylph is a class that heals with their aspect, or creates the aspect in others.

One of the symbols of the aspect of time is music.

So you probably know where I'm going with this, Kanade wishes to save as much people with her music as possible, no matter the cost, even if it takes a toll on her physical and mental health. She spends as much time as possible on composing, to get more time she consumes energy drinks and eats instant noodles.

Sylphs have natural understanding of their aspect - Kanade is a composing prodigy, at the age of 10 she was making better music than her father, and in area conversations it's revealed that she's a living timer, she knows exactly when the light will turn green because she counts the seconds and never misses.

When she promised Mafuyu to keep composing for her, it made Mafuyu keep trying to look for her true self. So in classpect terms, she literally created more time for her. Her music also brings comfort to thousands of n25 listeners, keeps them going. Kanade is a patient person too, she has no problem in giving Ena more time to work on her art if it means it'll be better, in this case she's the most understanding in n25.

Mafuyu - Maid of Void

Maid is a class that is burdened by their aspect, and is also 'made' of it. It's often interpreted as a class that creates their aspect for themselves.

The aspect of Void symbolises emptiness, nothingness, the unknown, shadows, secrets, lack of meaning, but also infinite potential and hidden talents. It's an aspect of people lost in the dark.

So the Maid of Void creates nothingness, is made of nothingness, and is burdened by nothingness, which sounds weird but actually fits Mafuyu very much. She literally created empty SEKAI from her true feelings - how cold and empty she feels. She also keeps n25 and her true feelings a secret from her mother. And regarding the burden of nothingness - she is tired of not knowing who she is, she is tired of coldness and emptiness she feels in her chest.

But I don't think Mafuyu hates what void represents, she likes the calm and quiet of empty SEKAI, she cares about her empty aquarium, she does find some comfort in nothingness, it's just the fact that there's too much of it.

But it's not all sad and gloom, Void is hidden potential and talents, which Mafuyu has tons of, to the point it makes Ena jealous.

Ena - Prince of Space

Prince is someone who works hard and relies on outside validation. Basically Ena.

Space is associated with arts and crafts, it's about creating material stuff you can touch.

I don't have a coherent analysis here, just trust me bro. I really can't explain my thought process here as well as I want, so I'm just leaving you the short classpect description, check out the sources if you wanna know more about the classpect.

Mizuki - Knight of Heart

Knights are people who put up a front to hide their weaknessses and insecurities. They're also the guardian of their aspect.

Heart is an aspect of identity, Heart players live rich inner lives and are invested in self-discovery, they tend to be dramatic and often struggle with being misunderstood.

Mizuki does everything they can to hide their problems under their bubbly personality, they don't want to be too bothersome to others. When Ena is worried about them, Mizuki feels like they're a bad person. They've been hurt in the past, and struggle with anyone getting too close, essentially, guarding their Heart.

It may be hard to notice at first, but Mizuki is one of the most emotionally intelligent characters in the cast. They did self-discovery, they do self-retrospection, and in turn they understand other people better. They're quick to pick up when something is wrong, or when someone feels down - they see the little things. Mizuki was the first character to notice mafumom's weird behavior too.

Sources:

@classpect-navelgazing - My main source, I recommend checking them out because their theory is different than the classic view of the classpect and is pretty interesting. Very well made too! I think their aspects descriptions are better than the canon ones lmao.

@dahniwitchoflight - I used some of the elements of their theory too - most notably the bits about Maid and Sylph class. Good to check them out if you're interested!

The extended zodiac quiz - It has a lot of problems and I don't consider most of it canon, but the moons description and time's description are fine imo.

These sources are condtradictadory, yes, and while reading them you might notice that I didn't stick to some of the descriptions that much, but doing this little analysis I kept in mind that in the end the classpects are more about the vibe than anything else (but also not really, you see, it's complicated)

[rougepancake]

WORK ETHIC

FT. Vampire Hunter! Tengen Uzui; Vampire! Afab! Reader

WELCOME TO THE MONSTER MASQUERADE

WARNINGS: Minors and ageless blogs dni. Violence, marking, biting, sorry but Tengen gets whiny (bottom tengen for the win), no mention of his wives, alcohol. Not proofread.

SUMMARY: Vampires hide in the dark, out of fear that the light will carry away their souls into the nothingness. It’s a vampire hunter’s job to take them out before the sunlight can. They follow a strict set of rules, but many wind up breaking them. Even Tengen Uzui.

There’s something about the way he looks at you from across the room. You’re serving drinks at the bar as usual, and you recognize the faces of many different regulars, except for him.

He’s the only one you don’t recognize.

You’re 98 percent sure that he’s not even from this town. He sure doesn’t look like a local. But that’s not even what makes you uncomfortable. It’s the fact that he’s staring you down in a room full of people, as if he knows what you are.

So, to deter his thoughts, you decided to walk over and take his order.

“I’m sorry mister, but you’re going to have to buy a drink if you wanna sit here,” you smile kindly, careful to not show him your teeth. “What can I get you started with tonight?”

His deep red eyes meet yours and you feel shivers run down your spine. Oh shit. He knows. “Can I get your name, beautiful?” He asks with a cocky grin that doesn’t meet his eyes. It’s unsettling, and you want to run away, but you can’t. He’ll kill you.

“Just call me whatever you want darling, cause my name isn’t of any importance to someone out of town.” Maintaining your smile feels like a chore, since it’s no longer genuine. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say that he could sense your fear.

“Well you can call me Tengen. Tengen Uzui. And I’ll take whatever your best seller is.” He waves you away and you let out a breath that you didn’t even realize you were holding. You head off to prepare his drink, all while doing your best to not look back at him. He was watching you, and you knew it. Someone had sent him out here in search of you. But why? No one could have possibly have known your secret.

The hours began to pass by as if they were nothing, and soon, the regulars began to filter out. Before you knew it, you were left alone with none other than your new friend Tengen.

Your new friend who was out to kill you.

“It’s closing time, you might wanna head out.” Your voice echoes across the room, and you notice him startle at the sound of it. A couple of drinks and he was already this out of it? Maybe he wasn’t who you thought. Or maybe you happened to luck out by getting him drunk.

“Why don’t I head out with you?” His words slurred slightly, and you couldn’t help but sigh.

“Did you drink away your woes, Tengen?” The question passed through your lips without a second thought, instant regret washing over you. You were met with silence. Maybe he hadn’t heard you.

Warily, you looked over your shoulder. You had expected to see him sitting at the table still, yet there was no sign of him. There’s no way he could have disappeared so quickly. It was physically impossible.

“Shit.” The sun would be rising soon, which meant that you had to get out of here as soon as possible. But you couldn’t just leave him behind, lest you confirm his thoughts about you. It was a true dilemma you found yourself in, and you didn’t like it one bit.

“In a hurry to leave, are we?”

His voice came from behind you, and you could sense how close he was. You should’ve seen that one coming.

“Just a little. I’ve got things to attend to when I get home.” Nice coverup. Hopefully he wouldn’t look too far into it.

“May I ask you some questions first?” He circled around you so that he could get a good look of your face. Without warning, he leaned in, his breath warm against your cool skin. “Have you seen any suspicious activities going on out here?”

He didn’t even wait for you to answer, instead, he reached his hand up and grabbed your chin harshly. He reeked of alcohol, and his eyes were lidded. It was only now that you realized how much taller he was than you.

His thumb moved your upper lip up, revealing your sharp fangs. Instinctively, you bit him and kicked him away, thankful for your inhuman strength.

“Who blew my cover?” You couldn’t help but ask as you pushed him down onto the floor. You could tell he wasn’t expecting you to fight back, seeing as he was stunned by your actions. “Answer me!” As you raised your voice, his eyes widened. Where had his stake gone?! Any of his charms?? Shit! Did he leave them behind at the inn?!?

Your fangs flashed as you lowered yourself to his level, and he tensed involuntarily. “That’s none of your business, monster.” You kicked him and grabbed the collar of his shirt so you could pull him closer to you. After such an insult, he deserved what was coming to him. “You’re not as flashy as you make yourself seem, and it’s disgusting.”

“And you’re not as brave as you’d like to think.” A single deep breath and you’d be able to smell his blood pulsing through his veins. He was definitely a delectable taste, you could just feel it. “Look at you, your heart is pounding in your chest, and it’s making you smell… divine…” You released him and stood up, giving him a disgusted stare. “But I’m not hungry. Such a shame. It seems like you liked the idea of being fed off of.”

“Woah now, you’re gonna leave a man like me all hot and bothered?”

“Yes.”

You saw him shift slightly, tilting his head away from you, as if to showcase his neck. Did he seriously want you to bite him? Or did he just need a reason to put you down…

“What? Do you want me to taste you?” He’s avoiding your gaze, and you can’t help but scoff. Desperate. “You know if I bite you you’re bound to me, right? It’s like a contract that’s in place until you die.”

“Can’t a man be curious?” He propped himself up onto his elbows, giving you a smirk. “Your fangs are pretty flashy, and I love flashy things.”

“Aren’t you supposed kill me? Isn’t that your job as a vampire hunter, or am I misunderstanding your job description?” You lean back down and stare at him, your curiosity getting the better of you.

“I dunno… you’re pretty hot for a vampire, gotta shoot my shot before I shoot you, you know?”

What a cheesy ass line.

“Do you want to be bitten or not?”

“Sure, just make it as sexy as it sounds.”

You couldn’t help but wonder if he seduced all vampires he came across. He must have an interesting love life if so.

[winniemaywebber]

The Apple Tree • Part 5

warnings: none!!! just sad

read previous chapter here

Y/N struggles with not knowing where Rosie is.

Every day had been the same since Rosie had gone MIA. You'd wake up, head feeling like it was in a vice and get to the school on autopilot. The sky had been appropriately gray, and thick with fog most mornings, the twin of your current state of mind. You'd stay at the school late, grading papers and try your best to construct meaningful lesson plans so the children could still thrive and learn despite your sadness. They'd sometimes ask, their sweet, little faces full of sympathy as they'd question your upset. “Miss?” A little voice would say, “Are you alright?” You'd force a smile on your face and look back at them reassuringly. 

“Yes, my dear,” your voice catching in your throat. “I'll be fine.”

---

A week. And then two. Three, then four, all rolling into a ball of nothingness, blurring together. Most days, you're greeted by Sally who is always available to walk you home despite the treacherous weather and everyday she looks at you with her big sad eyes, shaking her head mournfully, wordlessly reminding you that there's no new information. Most days, you walk home in silence, her arm in yours, keeping you upright physically as well as metaphorically.

It's on the fourth week, on a Friday, that you hear a sharp rap on your door. Being in bed already - the only way you can seem to feel close to Rosie - you simply yell “come in!” to whoever is visiting at this late hour. You hear the door open quietly, and hear the familiar tip-tap of Sally in her kitten heels. You hear her kicking them off and placing them by the door, hurrying up the stairs in her now stockinged feet, padding all the way up the plush carpet. 

“Hi, darling,” she greets quietly, her face full of sympathy. “I thought I'd try coax you out to the pub.”

“No thanks,” you mumble, staring up at the ceiling. “I'm fine here.”

“Oh, doll,” she begins, walking towards the bed. “How are you doing?” Still not tearing your eyes from the ceiling, you nod quickly, trying to reassure your friend. But she knows you better than that, and after all these years, she can read you like a book. Before you can properly respond, she sees two tears leak from each eye and splash into your ears and on the pillow. 

Trying to comfort you the way she used to when you were kids, she goes to lay down next to you on the bed.

“No!” you start. “N-no, Sal. Don't lay there,” you softly weep. “That's where Rosie slept the night before–” You wipe your face with the back of your hand, trying to stop the tears flowing. “It still smells like him. Don't lay on it, Sal.” You pause, looking at your friend, her own eyes full of tears. She sniffs, trying to blink them back. 

“Then squidge up,” she says after a moment. “I'll lay on your pillow with you.” You wriggle slightly to the right to make room for her in the center of the bed, you just hanging off the edge slightly. She takes your hand and strokes it, just like she did right after Granny passed away. You whimper at her action, the sob that was thick in your throat finally being released. 

“Where is he, Sally? Where's my boy?”

“Y/N…darling…I don't know. I ask James everyday for an update. He's promised that he'll be round here like a shot if he ever finds anything out.” You nod, swallowing as you sniff back more tears.

“He's a good egg, Sal. I like him. I like how happy he makes you.”

“Me, too,” she sighs wistfully. “When all this is all over, I'm thinking of moving there to be with him.” 

“Sally, that's wonderful. I'll miss you terribly–”

“But let's not talk of that now. We need to take care of you.” She crawls off the bed and pulls you with her. “Come on,” she commands, rushing to your wardrobe. “You need to stop rotting. Let's go to the pub. Apparently, Rita is engaged to two of the Americans and neither knows about the other. Isn't that something?” You hear yourself gasp and then giggle, the first laugh you've made in weeks. 

“Well, now you've tempted me. Now I have to come.” 

—

The excited yapping you hear as you walk into the pub ceases at the sight of you, your friends looking back at you in surprise, before they stand up and rush to hug you, one by one. Murmurs of “oh, Y/N, we're so happy to see you,” and “how are you doing?” follow their embraces, and you find your eyes leaking at their affection and sympathy. Hugging them back, you sigh, not quite used to this level of affection.

 “Alright, ladies,” you struggle to gasp out, but smiling nonetheless. “I need to know everything about Rita. Spill.” 

They sit down, excited to finally be able to tell you the tales they've heard over the past few weeks. For a moment, your head is clear, listening to your friends chatter on, their voices octaves higher as they giggle their way through the spiel. You don't even notice that Sally has rushed over to the bar to greet James, until he places a pint in front of you with a sympathetic smile. He winks at you as you smile back, knowing you're thanking him with no words needed. You take a long sip, letting the alcohol run through your body and somehow, giving it warmth as you finally are able to enjoy something.

“So, she ended up saying yes to both men because she didn't want to upset either of them, and somehow, Y/N, neither knows about the other. But, get this! They're co-pilots!”

“What?!” you screech, ale almost flying through your nose in shock. “They must know! There's absolutely no way–”

“We thought that, too!” Sally replies, wide eyed and a little frazzled. “But Rita maintains that they have no clue.”

“Nope, not buying it,” you giggle, hand covering your mouth. “They must talk about her to one another! They're either ignoring it or somehow, it's not clicking that they're both with the same girl!” 

For just a small moment, your overwhelming sadness is forgotten, the pit in your stomach somehow smaller than it had been in the past weeks. But, then, all of a sudden, your mind goes back to the night you spent with him; how he'd touched you, the way he'd wrapped himself around you to fall asleep for those few hours. The way he looked at you like you were the only girl in the world. It's those thoughts that send you into a tailspin, lips pressed together to keep the tears at bay. Draining your glass, you gesture over to the barman for another and try to keep breathing steadily. 

—

“Hey! Wait, seriously? You're not lyin’ to me?” You hear a familiar Tennessee drawl behind you, and an excited one at that. “Croz, she's right there!” They both pause for a moment. “Can I tell her, sir?”

“Sure thing,” Croz replies. You turn around at the two familiar voices. James smiling brightly at you, Harry nervously shuffling from one foot to the other, clutching his hat in his slightly shaking hands. 

“Y/N, c'mere, doll!” James beckons you over with his booming voice. You stand and walk towards the two men, forcing a polite smile on your face. 

“Hi, James. Oh, Harry, wonderful to see you. Can I get you a drink?” 

“No, ma'am,” he replies, now not able to hold back his apparent joy. “Pearson here has something to tell you. I've been rushing all over base looking for this fella to tell him what he's about to tell you.” You look at James with an expectant expression, feeling your eyes widen. He can't seem to get the words out, nor keep a straight face. 

“Out with it, Jimmy, before I lose my mind!” You scold, playfully pushing him. 

“Rosie got word to base!” 

“What?!” you shout, your arms going across your chest in shock. “W-where is he?” Tears fill your eyes and they escape before you're aware of what's happening. 

“He got shot down in Berlin,” Croz begins, his downturned eyes having an underlying sadness to them as he looks at you. “But, he managed to keep the plane flying until everyone had bailed out. He's in Russia.” 

“Russia? He's safe, right?”

“Yes, ma'am. He says they're taking really good care of him.” Harry laughs a little, wondering whether to divulge further information. You see that, and nod at him to carry on. “He says the vodka is impeccable.” Laughing, you feel familiar arms around your waist, Sally's head on your shoulder, half laughing, half crying as she hears the news. 

Word spreads to the rest of the pub, the airmen cheering and hugging at the news. James hands you a whiskey, then thrusting one in Croz's hand. You clink glasses with him, and with James before turning back to Harry.

“Thank you,” you begin, voice shaking slightly. “Thank you for coming to tell me, for even thinking of me.”

“No problem,” he replies nervously. “To Rosie?”

“To Rosie.”

---

thank you once again to my besties @sagesolsticewrites and @ginabaker1666 for reading this multiple times before posting (as usual!!!) <3

chapter 6

masterlist

[moraldust]

—get off me. you’re heavy. get off me. it’s too hot. get off me. i don’t wanna touch your sweaty body.

—what?

dean didn’t understand what sam was mumbling about but squeezed him tighter. as tightly as he could at the moment.

—that’s what you’d usually say. so it’s really it. the end.

dean didn’t answer. it was physically impossible to say something as cruel as today’s truth.

God please let me die after him. just a few moments later. don’t let him die alone here. he’s scared. he needs his big brother. do you hear me, God?

—i’m listening to your heartbeat.

—yeah? and what do you hear?

—it’s slow. it’s so slow, dean.

—i like it slow. i thought you knew.

—jerk.

sam wanted to slap him but there was no energy left in his body. his hands felt so heavy lying on the filthy ground on the both sides of dean’s body.

—bitch.

he smirked. never before had it felt so nice.

—let’s talk. i hate this silence.

dean felt tired. mouth didn’t want to work forming long ass sentences. he would lie here under his brother who covered him like a duvet on a summer night and get some rest.

—nah. i‘m too sleepy. we can talk tomorrow.

that’s absurd. such a ridiculous thought but sam responded.

—okay. tomorrow. of course tomorrow.

he had so much to say. he needed to tell dean something important, something he always wanted to tell but every time it was not the right moment. i guess this moment was also not right.

so he decided to stay like this with his mouth closed and eyes closed, ear pressed against brother’s chest trying to catch a soft beat. almost nothingness, single raindrop after the heavy rain falling down from the old roof, annoys you, making you want to stop this madness.

maybe sam also needed some rest and maybe he’d also fall asleep just like his older brother. only… he must hear one more heartbeat. just one more. he’ll wait a few more minutes. he can. it’s okay to be late.

how long did he wait? sam didn’t know. but it felt like forever.

—dean.

nothing.

—you’re asleep, dean?

nothing.

—of course you’re asleep.

sam made a tremendous effort to hug him, to wrap him tighter and closer. hands didn’t move an inch. but he could feel it, dry fabric of brother’s shirt under his fingers. so warm and familiar.

—i’m scared, dean.

[fourphoenixfeathers]

New niche obscure crossover au upon ye!

This time on Ingo getting eeby deebied: SCP 3001!

Some of my followers might have heard of 3001 bc I love this article, but here's some context:

Short version: a scientist accidentally opens a wormhole into a dimension where nothing exists, and he starts to fall apart because the nothingness is contagious.

Long version: Robert Scranton researches ontokinetics, the physics of reality warping and how to counter it. He and his wife, Anna Lang are working on something they call the Lang-Scranton Stabilizer that they believe can stop things that would warp or manipulate reality in dangerous ways.

An earthquake happens on site and breaks many prototypes, causing a wormhole to open up and suck Robert in, along with a nearby control panel. For the next five years, Robert records his experience and his slow descent into madness on that control panel. The control panel returns to reality, telling the people in the real world what happened for the five years it was recording, but Scranton's true fate is unknown. It seems unlikely he makes it out alive.

The original article is heartbreaking and has some descriptions of gore and psychological horror, but if you are good with that, I encourage you to check it out! My au will be lighter on the psychological horror but about the same on gore, so.

Of course, I had to get attached to this sad man and his sad ending. So I will be throwing Ingo into the evil nothingness dimension so I can pull him out and give him the happy ending I want for Scranton sjjsjfnncn

This is a dojoshipping au bc it's my favorite ship and I feel like Robert and Anna are precious to me. Really that's the only reason why. *Holds Zisu gently* I just think she's neat.

Extra doodles, as a treat!

[golvio]

I’m very excited about Fury. I have absolutely no idea what to expect, but here are my two best guesses on how they’re going to turn this romantic:

On the most surface, plot-driven level, it’s about you asking yourself “What Am I?” That’s a big question and you won’t have all the pieces necessary to come to a conclusion until five rounds of experimentation. So why not take a look at it through the most literal, concrete, straightforward way possible by physically taking yourself apart and looking at your insides? And, look! The Princess is unwittingly here to help you! Are you ready to go on a journey of exploration and discovery…For Science? *Magic School Bus theme interspersed with horrible squelching meat noises starts playing as Fury unzips your flesh-vessel like a twizzler*

On a more metaphorical level, if Thorn was the “romance” chapter, then Fury is going to be the “physical intimacy” chapter, given all the bodily metaphors. Granted, Beast was also a sort of physical intimacy metaphor regarding the consumptive nature of carnal desire. But this is going to be very different, as a more “guided” experience.

But, also, death doesn’t stick for either of you the way it would for regular people. Pain, too, is only something you experience as much as you believe you can experience it. Your perception changes what you are physically capable of within the Construct, and in Chapter 3 you’re powerful enough to change the direction of the story if you don’t like where the Narrator is going with it. What would happen if you decided to indulge your morbid curiosity and wanted to explore just how much transformation and unmaking and remaking you could take? What would happen if the swift, brutal process of the Fury unwinding you as punishment became a dialogue as you came back and told her what you experienced, then asked if you could try it again, but sideways this time?

And I keep coming back to Shifty’s description of Fury having a strange sort of compassion within her heart. What if, during the process, the two of you caught a glimpse of something the Narrator didn’t want you to see, some sort of truth about your physical bodies that gives you both a major clue about your respective true natures? What if you being transformed by dying gives you a brief experience of what Change is like? What if, at the climax, Fury unmakes herself, and for a moment she glimpses what’s on the other side as you experience Nothingness together? In an inversion of The Wild, where the two of you get to be a feathered landscape in a distant dream together? The two of you, feeling the jagged edges of where you were torn apart, becoming aware for the first time of the little piece of the other that exists within yourselves, seeing things from the other side.

Like…seeing that one snippet of the dialogue from what I assume is the Tower-Fury route in the trailer, I immediately thought of Rammstein’s “Ich Tu Dir Veh,” describing a consensual but also extremely weird sadomasochistic relationship that doesn’t resemble conventional romance or love at all. In particular, the lyric “You are the ship / I am the captain / Where would you like to go?”

The story is about Shifting Mound collecting experiences to understand herself. It is also about you, The Long Quiet, also sharing in and directing these experiences to better understand both your narrative cellmate and yourself. To me, Fury kneeling down next to you and taking you through every step of the process of being unmade and put back together, and experiencing both firsthand and vicariously how painful that is, to see what makes you tick feels like the general premise of the game taken to its darkest, most logical conclusion. But it also feels like a more worksafe metaphor for an actual BDSM torture session with a first-time domme, while Tower was more about unhealthy power dynamics and dubious consent. Here, there is the possibility of negotiation. Here, she is made something closer to equal to you, as a fellow creature of flesh and blood. She may still be more physically powerful and with a terrifying sort of divinity, but you still make the choices that move the story along, and you ultimately have the last word. She will only go as far as you ask her to go. The process itself involves heavy negotiation and the prodding and examination of boundaries. When it goes too fast and you’ve had enough, you tap into your divine nature and pull away from her, becoming Nothing so that she can no longer touch you, no longer hurt you. Otherwise, Shifty ends the scene and pulls you out so you aren’t stuck in the narrative dead end of eternal torment. A dance must have both partners be willing. She can’t continue unless you let her proceed, if only to see what happens.

I think…during the more “loving” ending, there is going to be some kind of change in the dynamic between you and the Princess that shifts things from a torture session into something much more consensual, if still gory and a little messed up. This thing, which was supposed to be purely physical, suddenly shifting into a profound moment of connection for reasons flesh and endocrine chemicals alone can’t explain. I’m looking forward to seeing that moment, and if the “first-time physical intimacy” metaphor ends up holding water, where it ends up going may or may not make me cry.

[dangermousie]

I confess that the narrative of TTJ in the sect learning how to be a human properly was always my favorite part of the novel even if it wasn’t a romantic portion of the story. So I am so excited the drama kept it (with bits of the Cang Jiumin dream storyline, they meld seamlessly.) 

(I love that he actually gets a name chosen with care and not one that is expression of hatred and bad luck!)

Look at how shocked he is the master is all “the sword is yours, keep it.” He is so not used to care and kindness.

Honestly, it’s little things that get me, like how he’s so awkward being hugged by the blind lady and you realize he’s still not used to being touched in gentleness and love.

It’s just such a pleasure watching TTJ find acceptance and care in the sect - finally a decent parental figure in his master and then also the sect brothers who just accept and like him, do not view him as a monstrosity (he didn’t have such matter-of-fact acceptance even during his emperor days for obvious reasons.) This is the longest stretch of normalcy he’s ever had and he needed it so badly (and the fact that it comes from sect master and brothers he destroyed in past timeline is extra glorious; it does show that we are our choices, we are not doomed to do the same thing over and over.) The fact that he probably got it because Susu broke his fate/curse and so he is not being pushed by literally the Universe into more and more suffering as a goad to turn him into devil god, is an extra bonus. And the thing that gets me so hard is - TTJ aka Cang Jiumin, thrives. He repays kindness with kindness - you watch him be a good student and kind to the old lady and practice well. 

It makes me think of the scene in an early ep flashback where older nanny tells younger nanny that the reason TTJ has difficulty processing or understanding emotions and people is because of his fucked up existence. And she is proven right - he is clearly always an introvert but living a nice life full of physical and emotional caring (he does not go hungry, he is liked, he is taught, he is valued), he adjusts more and more. He soaks normalcy as a sponge and I think learns as much or more from this stretch as he did from Susu. Susu opened up the gate but it’s this time that really puts the seal on it (yes, I am mixing my metaphor.) He needed to love and be loved by at least one person to give the world a chance, but he now has demonstration that not the whole world is awful. Before he hated the world but refrained from damage because Susu loved it, but now perhaps he can learn to love it a little on his own behalf. (And it makes sense his fate was nonstop horror before - if you want someone to turn into a demon god who is in so much pain he wants to erase the universe into nothingness, you can’t give him a glimmer of hope or a positive outlet. You don’t want your would-be world destructor to go “I don’t want to end the Universe because I have a sect dinner on Thursday, and my wife and I are going on a vacay the following weekend, how about we check back in a few millennia.”)

He is so gentle with this random old lady and he’s able to analogize the two of them - that is empathy, really, something impossible for a person they claimed was devoid of feelings; he’s come so far all because he’s had normalcy and care.

And he tries to make her withered tree bloom because she wants it, tries so hard even tho he just met her (and that he tries with the help of charms Susu taught him - he really is a memorial to her in so many ways, a living breathing memorial.)

I love his conversation with the old lady btw, it is my favorite scene in the episode, where they talk about why people live. In some ways, despite his age he is pitifully young since he’s had so little normal experience. This isn’t just a mission to help and old lady, it is a mission to help him too.

The way it turns out she knew and yet still took it, because kindness is rare and precious...

I love his opening up, responding to honesty with honesty, care to care. He is like a mirror to the world, in so many ways, and when all it gave him was pain he dealt pain back, but he is slowly healing, slowly climbing out of his well of misery and abuse and seeing humanity in others and in the process finding humanity in himself.

It’s so interesting how he answers about people, not home, because he doesn’t have a home, not really. Nowhere where people are glad to see him and so there is no home for him because without care it’s just rocks and dirt and why does he care where he is.

Oh God, this killed me.

The way he ponders that!

The way this is written - it’s as if Susu translates the world to him and him to the world and without her as the conduit, he cannot judge his success or his worth or his morality. I am incoherent!!!

It is gutting that all he needed was a little push - a little choice, a little happiness. Look how quickly he learns - like when he talks about his wife to the old lady and old lady asks if he could get his wife back by becoming evil, would he, and he thinks and is tempted but says no because Susu would not have liked it. He has learned to put what she wants above what he wants (a change even from “hate me as long as you are here.”)

The way he figures out how to fulfill the old lady’s wish with his white lie and her response just...

Here he is with the old lady who passed away. I am verklempt....

It really is nature/nurture debate and the answer is pretty clear - if he was brought up with love and care instead of constant trauma and suffering - he would have been just lovely; he is climbing out of that abyss even after all the torment and without it he’d have been there so much sooner. Devil God actually is a manifestation the world’s cruelty creating its own monsters and seeds of its own destruction and I love that.

PS Devil God voice is proof that you can’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good (or evil in this case.) He should have taken the body/soul when TTJ didn’t care and was offering but he wanted to wait for the perfect host as opposed to 98% compatible and now he’s living (undying?) proof of the old adage of “you snooze you lose!”

[vantaesfairie]

𝔭𝔦𝔠𝔨 𝔞 𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔡 : 𝔞𝔟𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔨𝔞𝔯𝔪𝔞 𝔬𝔫 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔡𝔢𝔰𝔦𝔯𝔢𝔡 𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔬𝔫

atlty’s tarot readings - dm for paid readings and prices!

for the easily butthurt people i’m not specifying or demonising any mental health disorder here. FUN AND ENTERTAINMENT ONLY.

choose a picture below:

pile 1: dancing girls around a bonfire

the main message i got was that ‘if they are working hard towards something, it will backfire or fail’. definitely their goals, even if they achieve them, will bring some sort of backlash to them. perhaps a hotheaded fight (could be verbal, physical...) too. and something about erect*ons possibly not working too (censorship bc of tumblr). their outspoken or blunt nature can cause them to amplify the negative effects of the karma on them. it feels very workplace, so they will get karma at work or in school if so. their passions and endeavours will not come to fruition the way that they may think it will. they will grow stubbornness and pessimism, and possibly overwork themselves in a bad way with no achievement at the end. expect something coming or going rapidly. either they will get out of a situation that they were barely in to begin with or they throw yourself into a situation head first without thinking things through. they rapidly advance making snap decisions which puts them at a disadvantage. 

pile 2: candelabra girl dancing

yalls main message is ‘justice will be served’. something in their balance (could be work life, emotional balance) will turn off and cause an imbalance which will affect them. they will be attached to material physical things like appearance, s*x, etc that makes them forget and dismiss about the real things that make up a person, which is their relationships and opportunities that appear. they will start to have some silent self-image issues but not tell that to the world. they could face weight or health problems. they could start to be financially dependent on something / someone else. if they have wronged someone, they will definitely pay the consequences. the truth will come out. their main challenges are just materialism and financial difficulties ahead. if there is a legal battle, i’m feeling that they will lose it. 

pile 3: lantern girls searching in water

your message is ‘they will lose everything’. (i’m not sure if this is everything everything, or just everything in the sense of what they find most precious in the world). their emotional maturity will decline, they won’t be able to open themselves to be friendly and to let people to get to know them. they will get triggered by the little things (in a bad way, unempathetic way). perhaps a creative block too if they are an artist in any way. they will be very deceptive, but people will realize their schemes. if they have cheated, this will come to light and bite them in the butt. if they were once this higher up who bird-fed those below them, the roles will be reversed. it feels to me like they will drop from the peak of what they thought they had to absolute nothingness, or a position that they feel is degrading. they may also start to cope with alcohol or some sort of binge. they’ll lose their cool, and get demoted. 

im in a very petty mood right now if u couldnt tell from my tone BUT DONT SHOOT THE MESSENGER. TAROT READINGS ARE FOR FUN. I DID NOT CURSE NOBODY HERE AND IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY AB ME DEMONIZING PEOPLE shut your ass up

thank you for coming to my blog! please consider a paid reading or custom sigil. check out my masterlist for all my works. reblogs help!  

[verilly]

Parasite

Angel Devil x Reader

aliusworld's songfic event- inspo: MANNEQUIN album (Deco*27)

[Description: "Hey, if you love me, please notice, let me dream— Why can't you understand? I hate you!", "I loved the bad parts too, everything was fine.", & "I was stupid to believe I was all you need."] 

What’s to come: You and the Angel Devil are in quite the parasitic relationship, literally. Like physically.

[1989 words]

•••|•••|•••|•••|•••

You lay in bed next to Angel, he hasn't moved an inch since coming back to your place. You suppose that he's just tired, but the two of you haven't had a single good interaction together in what felt like weeks. You wanted to cry out and say something... but at the same time, you didn't want to break the silence the two of you were in.

You shouldn't always have to be the person who starts the conversation, but at the same time you knew nothing would happen if you didn't make the first move. Angel meant everything to you and you wanted a real relationship with him, but right now it feels like you were mothering him. Mothering or smothering him, you couldn't tell if he cared or not.

You take a deep breath in before you start talking, "Are you okay, Angel?"

No response.

"Angel?" You turn over, looking down on him, "Why aren't you talking to me? Did I do something wrong?" His eyes turn towards you before getting up.

"No, you didn't do anything." He sighed out, pulling a pillow over his head, "Now leave me alone."

"Well you can't keep ignoring me! We live together for fucks sake!" You whine, letting a curse word slip your mouth, "If you hate me so much you can leave! I let you live here for absolutely nothing, the least you can do is humor me every now and again. Is that really too much to ask for?"

"I live here because we're partners and Makima is forcing me to." Angel groans out, flipping around, stomach first on the bed. The pillow over his head now under his face.

"I just don't understand why you wont talk to me... I'm sorry, I know you're an introvert but you could at least-"

"Yada yada... whatever, I don't have empathy. I'm a devil, not a human. I thought you would've understood this by now."

"Well I guess it's my fault for thinking you cared about me!"

"Yeah, it kind of is!"

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm quite literally doing nothing. Humans and their emotions... how annoying." He complained under his breath, sitting up to face you, "But whatever. It's fine. I've lived long enough, and it sounds like you have a lot of pent up emotion. So go ahead I guess."

"Ugh! If you really insist." You ball your hand into a fist and put it in your lap, "I feed you, I wash your clothes, I pay the rent, you sleep in my bed, you leave crumbs everywhere, and you use up all the hot water!"

"Is that it? I kind of expected more."

''And the worst part is... is that I love you. I think you're the prettiest person- thing that I've ever seen! And I want you to know that. That if you don't like me back, just tell me so I don't just wander into a big dark hole of nothingness! But you don't do anything, you do nothing!! I hate you!'' but you didn't actually say that out loud. "Yeah. That's it. If I said anything else I might have to kill you!"

"So now you're really treating me like a devil, huh?"

"That's not what I meant and you know it! Well maybe you don't..? It was more of a sarcastic comment, I guess." You sigh out, rubbing the crook of your eyes with your left hand.

"Well... if that's all you needed to let out, then I think that..." Angel didn't finish his sentence before he fell over sideways, eyes growing duller than they usually were.

"A-Angel??! Are you alright?" You gasp out, sweating as you lunge over to see what happened.

Earlier during the day, you and Angel had an encounter with a large devil. You couldn't quite recall the same of it since the paperwork wasn't something you had to deal with, but what you did remember was the damage it caused. It landed devastating blows to everyone that was sent out in the mission, including you and Angel. However, you remember specifically not seeing Angel during your check up at the hospital.

Could it be that he was injured and never got any healing done?

"I guess it was strange that your face was paler than usual.." You bite your lip as you shift your body to take a good full look at him. "I'm really sorry for this." You unbutton the cardigan and lift up the plain white shirt he was wearing underneath he was wearing to reveal a bloody, bandaged torso. You gasp at what you saw beneath you. "Shit, you're bleeding all over the place! And you thought you could get away with it? Are you fucking kidding me?? Over my newly washed bed sheets, c'mon man!" You sigh as you pull the bedsheets away from him.

"Stay here, don't move. Not like you can anyway..." You mumble the last bit to yourself as you get up to grab the spare medkit you had laying around somewhere in your apartment. Finding it inside one of the cupboards above your stove, you quickly lay down the materials next to his body. "Okay, this is going to burn. Bare with me now..."

You wince for Angel as you dab his wounds with an alcohol infused cotton ball. You watched as his body twitched from the pain. You repeatedly apologize under your breath as you continue to clean his wounds, wiping away the blood in the process. No matter what you did, however, the blood just wouldn't stop spilling out of his body. As a devil hunter, you've grown used to the site of blood, but this time, the blood that came out of the Angel Devil made you feel nauseous.

That's when it hit you.

Devil.

Angel's a devil! You had this conversation with him only a few minutes ago, how could you have forgotten? Grabbing one of the sharp objects from the medical supplies you spread out across the bed, you hesitantly sliced the palm of your hand and brought it towards Angel's mouth. The metal scent of your blood carried through the air, and as it got closer, Angel's lips began to spread apart. You watch as your blood slowly drips down from your hand into Angel's mouth.

After he ingests your blood, his once dull eyes become slightly more colorful. Still, his body didn't move an inch. He continues to feed from your blood as you stare at his stomach, watching the skin around the gash magically patch itself back together. Once you couldn't see a single bruise, you pull your hand back to you.

"Wait" Angel says weakly, his hand desperately trying to reach you, "I still need more."

"What do you mean 'more'? You aren't bleeding anymore." You question, your non-bloodied hand rummaging through the sheets to find the bandages you misplaced.

"Just because I'm not bleeding externally doesn't mean that I'm not still bleeding internally. I still need more... my insides feel like they're going to burst." Angel fakes a cry, his hand reaching your clothed arm. You flinch at his touch before simmering down, you didn't want to lose your lifespan after all.

"I- I guess that's a good point." You agree, pulling out your hand above his mouth again, using your other to squeeze out more of your blood into his mouth.

Angel nonchalantly sticks out his tongue, yearning for when he could taste your blood would land on his taste buds. You don't think you've ever seen him enjoy something so much besides maybe ice cream. He closed his eyes in bliss and you swear you saw his mouth twitch into a smile for a split second.

You stayed there for a few more minutes until Angel said he had enough.

"Well, I'm glad you're okay now." You say as Angel gets up from his comfortable position, "But you shouldn't ever try to hide something like that again! It really scared me when you fell over and died for a second! And also I guess I'm sorry for shouting at you while you were down."

"It's fine." Angel murmurs, rubbing his eyes, "Whenever I'm hurt, I'll come to you."

"Ahaha..." You laugh softly, watching as Angel leaves the room to, "Wait- what??"

After that day, Angel has been a lot closer to you. In fact, he hasn't left your side while on patrol, ever. And when the two of you are in battle, he always does his best to protect you. When the two of you are apart from each other, it's usually him in the face of danger. Which is incredibly strange because he would have never done that before. Maybe he's finally grown to like you.

Just like he said, whenever he's hurt, he would directly contact you. Never to the hospital like you. Always begging for another taste of your blood, it became almost a daily habit. Not to mention, he's picky. He's picky with your blood..? He wants it straight from the source, every time you tried to bottle it he would whine and complain about you 'contaminating' it.

Now your arms, and legs, are covered in scars from many different blades. Which you have grown insecure about, but Angel kept assuring you no one would care. As you grew more and more insecure, Angel got a lot more confident towards you. Even going as far as to try and gnaw on your skin every so often. Which you quickly pull away from before you lose any more years of your life.

Lately, you have been feeling light headed. Probably due to the fact that Angel's been taking your blood every day for the past month and a half. You don't seem to ever want to get out of bed, and you feel like all you've been doing is rotting away. You've used up all your vacation days with Public Safety, but you still didn't budge.

Sooner or later you'd be terminated, but your body still wouldn't move. Angel came to visit you everyday until one day he stopped showing up. And without him, you felt like you had nothing to live for. So deeper down into your depression you went. You assumed that you had gotten terminated and that Makima set him up with a new partner.

Days would pass before all the cuts on your body had fully healed, and days had gone by before you weren't sore anymore. You had to get out of bed now. You hadn't paid your rent in months, you'd definitely be evicted soon, and without a home you'd be nothing.

You put on the cleanest thing you could find and went outside. Has the sun gotten brighter?

On your stroll to the supermarket, you had an unfamiliar encounter with another devil. You hadn't seen one in such a long time, you honestly forgot what to do in the heat of the moment. Millions of thoughts ran in your head: you had no weapon, maybe you could use the purse you were using? The contracts you had... you hadn't used them in a long time, and you didn't have much to give anymore...

Before you could make a viable move, a large part of a building was swung your way. You covered your head, but you didn't feel anything. You looked above you to see your protector... an angel.

"Ouch..." He winced, the large greatsword he was placed creating a wedge between you and the large debris. He held out a gloved hand with a blank expression on his face. "Aki is going to take care of everything. And you owe me."

You smile as you take his hand. Running out from the fight zone, you hand intertwined with his, you felt happy for the first time in a while.

"So- ah, what do you want from me as repayment?"

"Your blood."

"...again?"

•••|•••|•••|•••|•••

A/n: haven’t been very active I’m sorry! I’m still trying to finish teh MANNEQUIN event before anything else sobs.. trying my very best!

I'm really quite sorry for being so innactive. I've been working on this other fic that's really long, like something that isn't a oneshot so.... yeah LOL i don't think that this fic is anything good. but its better than my other idea for this which was like really gruesome. basically reader is keeping angel trappped in their home and like feeding him their blood, its a little fucked up and i didn't really want to write it LOL but the idea was!!! a thing ! please let me know if you liked it or not,, requests are still open even though i'm on a hiatus technically

Masterlist is on profile! Or on #cendriilon masterlist

[gaiakon]

Gate Keeper and Hunter’s rivalry can be seen as bitter as Link and Ganon. It’s one of the driving plot points in The Vigilante Squad AU Series.

They have history: Two Magolors with a burning passion to kill each other in a battle worth telling stories over.

Of course… it all started with Hunter.

Hunter’s story starts with a defeat. Much like the Canon story, he gets dispatched by Kirby and falls, getting banished to another dimension to atone. Constantly getting lost. Magolor’s Epilogue is also quite canon as well, however the ending has changed. This Magolor’s simply cannot get over the horrors well enough to make an amusement park anymore, and he had this creepy feeling behind him. Another Dimension is a pool of dimensions and Universes alike. What has become of him in the other timelines?

He decided to check out with happened.

GateKeeper’s story starts with a Victory: a bitter one. Kirby and his team were defeated, and because of this, he had lost himself into the Crown almost completely. He roams aimlessly while seeing the horrors of what has become of his universe. It was his, and yet he can do nothing with it.

After time noticed someone whom he sees as vaguely familiar. He noticed tears in his eyes, and horror written all over his face. After the shock wavered, he attacked the Magolor Soul Beast immediately. The Soul Beast fought back, simply out of self defense… but there was some thrill to him to gain. Eventually he had lost. His crown was broken, causing his physical form to blip between life and death… and yet, the Butterfly refused to visit him. The Magolor who had slayed him assumed he was dead.

He was defiled and broken, waiting for something to happen. Either to put him out of his misery or to save him. Hours? Months? Years? The Soul Beast didn’t know… eventually a powerful Mage Sister found him, taking him to her home Universe, and gave him the will to live.

“When I met you, you were hanging by a thread. You couldn’t even talk. I saw your broken body. It was barely stable— almost as if I touched you, you’d unravel into nothingness. I heard about the Crown Hunter for quite some time— about his travels… about his killings… I could tell that you were his first victim. His work was sloppy. The crown’s snap was more crude. The slashes were shallow on your body. The open wounds were still throbbing, and most importantly… you still have powers.

“By the time I took you in, it took a lot of convincing, however Hyness let me keep you around so long as you kept me and my base safe.

“My powers granted you a new purpose and new life. While I found ways for you to shape shift and go back to your previous forms, the eyes you were born with were still permanently glued shut, and your crown was still broken and dull. Despite how powerful I am— even I have limits on what I could do. Thankfully… you could talk. You spoke to me.

“You still had that personality of a Magolor— which at first I thought was annoying… arrogant, self serving, cocky… but you were much more aware and sensible… almost as if your time as a soul beast humbled you. It was… charming.”

~ Stardust

Stardust took him in, saying that he will be a body guard for her, but her relationship with him grew deeper, and unlike most of her allies, no amount of brainwashing, hypnosis, and manipulation was needed in order for him to be loyal to her. As a result, they became very, VERY close.

There was some sort of resistance that she noticed: The Vigilante Squad, and decided to gut the resistance before they could begin. Gate Keeper took no time to find the VS, only to realize the very person who nearly killed them was part of this squad. He was fueled with rage and pettiness, but decided against it. He broke the broke one of the Hero Sigils and kidnapped one of the potential squad members— making their Squad difficult to assemble and delay them on what he assumed was indefinite… but it didn’t last. The person who created it was too clever and too sly to let set backs like this ruin any plans.

Throughout the battle between the Vigilante Squad and the Jambastian, he mostly played fair towards the other Squad Members, only getting rough with his killer. Between the two of them was life and death, but the more GateKeeper’s noticed his lover being tormented by the Jambastian Cult, the more he became too worried to think of vengeance, eventually thinking about teaming up with the VS in the name of Saving “His little Stardust.”

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

(This ain't a req if you don't want it to be. Just me rambling about anything that comes to mind)

So I finally got around to doing the Fontaine Archon quests. My friends looked at me weirdly when I literally (excitedly) shrieked when Legacy showed up.

Anyway, I wanna affectionately bite him. But my affectionate bites are very.. rough? I put a lot of force into them and thus hurt people. So I don't affectionately bite anymore.

But I wanna. Which made me wonder how affection-biting different aspects of Legacy would feel. Like, yeah the armor will be hard, but there's (probably??) areas not covered in armor. Also wondering if neck/shoulder floof feels different from head floof.

ALSO, wondering if the cape is physical. Because it looks like space. And I love space. hhhhhhhhhhh <3

~ The anon who wanted Kaveh but didn't want Baizhu or Ganyu

P.S. Sorry this one's weird, it's, like, 3am for me and I've got a few hours until classes.

P.P.S. How are you?? Sorry I've been silent for a while, education's been kicking me into sharp corners a lot this year.

YOU!!!!!! I REMEMBER YOU I MISSED YOU HIIIIIIII :D

alright so *claps hands* Foul Legacy is mostly covered in armor, buuuuut the area around his neck near his fluff is softer- it feels like the underside of a snake, if you've ever felt one! that's why under his chin is one of the best places to scritch, apart from behind his horns. his neck is the main area that feels different, since almost everywhere else is covered in armor; when he purrs, you can feel the vibrations in his throat more than his chest, and if you want to monch him and leave teeth marks, his neck is your best bet (it also makes him shriek and let out deep, rumbling laughs because he's also quite ticklish around there). BUT if you want to give him very hard chomps, that's actually completely alright, as long as you do it on his armor instead! you'll need to be careful and make sure you don't damage your own teeth, but other than that you can bite to your heart's delight, and Legacy will give you a few much gentler nibbles of his own

his fluff does feel different from his hair, the fluff feels considerably softer and lighter, almost like a poofy lilac cloud. it becomes even softer and fluffier when he's particularly pleased or trying to impress you, ruffling up his fur and purring happily when you comb it back down with your fingers- but it's at its absolute fluffiest when he gets startled by something, the fur poofing up into a purple cotton ball, and his hair bristles a bit when he's frightened, too. also, the upper part of his cape is physical! it's smooth and cool and feels like fine silk, even when it shifts into a pair of wings. the tips are intangible, dissolving into nothingness and starlight, but occasionally you can feel light pecks on your skin like raindrops, almost as if the stars themselves are landing and shattering on your hands. you can pet his cape-like wings too, as long as you're gentle, and soon you'll have a drowsy, rumbly Abyss monster curled up in your lap <3