#somehow this year was worse than 2020

[parasyte-brainrot]

what the fuck 2024 is nearly over?!?? gd bless honestly here’s hoping that 2025 will be a lot better

[pompompompeii]

new years resolutions

speak new language

pass exams

move out (to new city)

try making friends even if I fail miserably

get help

look at the stars more often

drink less coffee

seriously get some fucking help

spend less time on social media

watch new anime

read more books

collect objects

I really need mental help desperately Im hanging on by a thread here and I don't know what that thread even is

open the windows in the morning

[butchvamp]

trying to write anything since halloween has just been pulling teeth

[vitalverstappen]

Cassandra - C. Leclerc

summary: when everyone believes you, what's that like?

pairing: Charles Leclerc x platonic teammate! reader

warnings: Mattia Binotto, swearing, some sexist comments

word count: 3k

a/n: in honor of max winning the WDC, i figured i'd post something. in honor of charles finally losing his shit on the team radio, i figured i'd post this. also it takes place during the 2022 season

masterlist

the tortured drivers department masterlist

2022 was supposed to be your year. You broke onto the F1 scene in 2020 with Haas after working your way up through F3 and F2, championing both levels of racing with ease. You proved yourself time and time again by consistently placing within the points in a less than superior car. 

That’s how you got the attention of Ferrari. They offered you a one year deal, and you couldn’t turn it down. You were okay with being the second driver, because you were racing for the most historic team in F1. 

Things started out great. The car was a major upgrade from the tractor you were driving with Haas, and the team actively listened to your input and took having a woman in the car seriously.

You and Charles also clicked instantly, which led to some amazing content for the social teams. 

“Anything you need, or feel needs changed, let us know. We’re a family here” Mattia said as he gave you the tour of the Ferrari factory.

You couldn’t have drawn up the first two races any better. Both you and Charles were on the podium and it looked like you two were going to give Max and Red Bull a run for their money in the championship races. 

The downward spiral started in Australia. From the moment you hit the track for the first time, something felt off. The car was sluggish, it took all of your strength to accelerate and brake properly. 

“There’s something wrong with the car.” you told the team, your frustration mounting. “It takes forever to accelerate and then when I do, I can’t break”

“Have you tried leg day?” Mattia asked, a smirk forming on his face, causing you to storm away and find your mechanics. 

The Australian Grand Prix ended up being a disaster. You struggled through the laps, barely able to keep up with the field. The car was just too much of a handful. Thirteen laps in, you hand no choice but to retire from the race. The speed was gone, and your confidence was shot. 

“I cannot believe he looked me in the eyes and said ‘try leg day’” You fumed as you barged into Charles’ driver room. The frustration was evident in every word, your anger still fresh from the weekend’s events. 

Charles looked up from his phone, raising an eyebrow at your entrance. “Well hello to you too” he said with a small chuckle. “What’s going on?” 

You let out a deep sigh and recounted the car troubles and the interaction with Mattia. “He actually said ‘try leg day’ to me, like it’s some kind of joke. What happened to ‘if you need anything, let me know’?”

Charles listened intently, a sympathetic look crossing his face. “Hopefully it was just an assembly issue” he said, trying to ease your frustration. ”Imola should go smoothly for the two of us. We both know you’re a hell of a driver.” 

Imola was next, and that was somehow even worse than Australia. Instead of acceleration and braking problems, the new issue was the engine. It had to be replaced between practice 3 and qualifying, only for the new one to fail during the race in Imola. 

“I have the utmost trust in my team.” You said during your press interviews “We’ve tried upgrades, but they’ve fallen flat. Hopefully Miami provides some better results” 

For Miami, the team had reverted your car back to the original set up, the one it had when the season started. The difference was night and day. The car felt responsive, alive in ways it hadn’t in the past few races. As you flew through all three practice sessions and qualifynig, you could feel the weight lift from your shoulders. You had been pushing the limits all weekend, and it had paid off - P2, only behind Charles. Things were looking up. 

The problem now was the strategy. As the number two driver, you knew your strategies were mostly going to be defend defend defend but you didn’t realize how badly Ferrari’s lack of adaptability would come into play 

The race was shaping up to be intense. Charles had led most of it, with Max behind him. You were right behind Max, keeping a steady pace, but always aware of the massive pressure from the drivers behind. Then, when Charles pitted, you thought, for sure, you’d get the green light to battle Max for the lead. After all, you were right there, in prime position.

Instead, the radio crackled to life. 

“Y/n keep defending. Leclerc will be back up there in no time.” Your engineer said

You blinked, incredulous. “I’m sorry what?” You couldn’t believe what you just heard. 

“Defend Max. Charles will be back up there to take over. Hold your position” he repeated as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

“Are you fucking serious?” you barked back, your grip tightening on your steering wheel. “I can overtake him for the lead and you want me to defend?!” 

Before your engineer could respond, Mattia’s voice boomed over your radio “Defend y/n. Team orders.” 

You could feel your irritation building, but there was no choice. Ferrari had spoken. You stayed behind Max, holding position, and waiting for Charles to catch up. Sure enough, Charles had soon found his way back to you, but by that point, Max was far enough ahead that any shot at victory was all but lost. 

Later, in the media pen, you stood with the press surrounding you, microphones, shoved in your face. They asked you the usual questions, but you were still stewing over what had happened. 

“Yeah, I mean the car felt great” You started, trying to keep your tone even. “We reverted back to the original, pre-upgrades and the car showed it’s worth”

The reporter pressed further. “Now even though the car was great, why do you think you couldn’t pull off the win? You were less than a second behind Max, and chose to defend your position instead of attacking.”

A disappointed sigh escaped your lips. You were tired of repeating the same frustrations. “If it was up to me, I would have attacked. I know we would’ve gotten a different result on the podium today. If we had a different strategy, then we would have gotten many more points.” 

“How do you think this result is going to impact the championships?” another reporter asked 

You paused, considering the question. “It could make or break it. There’s a large jump of points between one, two and three, and one thrown away strategy can make or break a shot at either championship. I’m just hoping they don’t mess up Charles’ strategies like they have mine.” 

As you finished your media duties, you made your way back to the garage, expecting to be alone with your thoughts. But to your surprise, Charles was waiting for you.  

“What are you doing here?” You asked, raising an eyebrow as you approached

“I, uh, wanted to congratulate you on P3. You had a good race out there” He said sheepishly, his hands shoved in his pockets.

You shrugged, the weight of the day still on you. “I could have won if my strategy wasn’t total shit.” you muttered, your tone flat.

Charles let out a small laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “I get it. P1 and P2 would have been great, but strategy isn’t Ferrari’s strong suit” he admitted, his eyes meeting yours with a shared understanding.

“So I’ve learned.” you replied dryly. “I just hope it isn’t bad enough to fuck up winning either championship” 

He nodded, a look of quiet concern in his eyes. “So do I. I’m terrified my shot at a driver’s championship is gonna slip away” 

Before you knew it, your interview was trending all over social media. Clips of you talking about the strategy missteps were circulating, and the Tifosi and general F1 fans alike were all over it. They didn’t believe you. They thought you were complaining, too bitter about the loss, and some even accused you of undermining the team. The backlash was stiff.

User1: there’s no way they’re going to mess up the golden boy’s strategy. Mattia cares too much about winning to do that

User2: y/n doesn’t know racing. She’s obviously going to get the shit strategy - she’s not charles 

User3: Ferrari needs to get rid of her. She doesn’t belong here #burnthebitch

Before media day in Spain, you got called into Mattia’s office. 

“Thank you for joining me on such quick notice y/n” Mattia said with a smile as you walked in 

You gave him a polite smile as you sat across from his desk “Of course. Why did you call me in?” 

The smile on his face instantly hardened “We need to talk about how you approach the media. You embarrassed myself, along with the rest of the Ferrari staff during Miami.” 

You found yourself fixing your posture and dropping the smile you had previously, prepared to go toe to toe with your principal. “I would say I told the truth on how the race was handled. We could have left Miami with eleven more points, had we gone P1 and P2”

Mattia sighed “That may be true, but we know you couldn’t have battled Max safely. Regardless, that was two weeks ago. We need to focus on Spain now.” 

“Whatever” You mutter “ If we provide sufficient results, I’ll give you praise. If we don’t, I’ll keep mentioning what needs to be done better. Simple as that” 

Spain turned out better for you than it did for Charles. You had finished P4, while Charles was forced to retire. Another blow for Ferrari. 

Both of you managed to score points in Monaco. The car felt good and it seemed like the team was back to how they were at the start of the season. That is until Baku. 

The start of the race seemed like it was going well. The practices and qualifying went well. Charles was on pole and you were not far behind him at P4. But that’s when the good luck ended. Just like the Australian Grand Prix, your brakes were faulty, and this time your clutch wasn’t working. 

“Check the hydraulics - brakes aren’t working again and clutch is out.” You voiced over the radio, concern filling your words 

After a few moments of silence, your engineer’s voice filled your ears. “Seems we have a uh hydraulic problem. You need to retire the car.” 

You muttered a curse as you found a spot to pull your car off. If it wasn’t a strategy issue, it was the car. If it wasn’t the car, it was something else. Something always had to go wrong. 

It was only lap eight and Charles was still driving. You had some hope he could get points for the team and for his championship. 

Throwing on a spare headset in the Ferrari garage, you watched as Charles battled through the streets of Baku. Just as quick as he was driving, the problems with his car also began to show. He had to retire only a handful of laps later with a power problem. 

While Ferrari’s golden boy wouldn’t have a negative thing to say about them during the pressers, you had much less of a filter. 

“You can mark my words that we aren’t winning a championship this year. As much as I want to put faith into our team and our strategies, we’ve shown time and time again we come up short.” 

Instead of your remarks being pushed aside by everyone, you found yourself in the spotlight. All eyes were on you as you walked into the paddock for the British Grand Prix. You acknowledged your team out of respect, and they greeted you back, but you could tell there was tension. 

“Mattia wanted me to tell you that the strategy for today is the same as usual: protect Charles.” Your engineer told you as the two of you sat down for lunch

You furrowed your eyebrows “Why couldn’t Mattia tell me that himself?” 

“He doesn’t think you deserve his time and energy” He said, rolling his eyes 

A scoff left your lips “That’s ridiculous. We’re both adults. He needs to act like it.” 

“You’re telling me” Your engineer muttered 

Before you knew it, it was lights out at Silverstone. The race was a disaster for everyone. While a scary crash had been cleaned up, leading to a restart, another safety car was put out for a stopped car. 

“Y/n box box” Your engineer spoke through your earbuds 

Under the safety car, you were able to pit and get fresh soft tires. When the race resumed, you quickly found yourself behind Charles. 

“Am I defending again?” You asked 

“You are free to overtake, but you must give up the position once Charles gets back up after pitting” 

“You mean Charles didn’t box under the safety car?” 

“Correct.” 

“Fucking idiots” You sighed, but did as you were told. 

Charles easily gave up the front position to you as he headed to the pit lane. You expected him to make a quick comeback in the next few laps, but as the laps ticked by, the gap remained. The radio crackled with instructions from your engineer, and you kept your focus, pushing through. 

And just like that, you crossed the finish line. Your first Grand Prix victory. 

The celebrations were a blur - the podium, the champagne, the flashing cameras. As the trophy was handed to you, you felt a surge of pride, but the weight of the race still hung in the air. Charles had been a force throughout the race, and even though you had won, it felt wrong that he hadn’t been able to capitalize on his pace. 

After the post-race formalities wrapped up, you found yourself in Charles’ room, finally able to breathe. He greeted you with a grin, the kind that only someone who experienced a dramatic race could wear.

“Congratulations! First win!” Charles said, his voice full of enthusiasm 

“You should have fucking won that and we both know it.” You said as you tossed him a Gatorade 

Charles caught the bottle with a small chuckle, cracking it open “You’re fucking telling me.” he said, taking a long swing. “At least Mattia didn’t chastise you on national TV.” 

You leaned against the wall, your arms crossed. “Maybe we’ll both be off speaking terms with him by the end of the season,” you joked, but there was no humor in the situation. “But seriously, what did he say?” 

Charles groaned, clearly not looking forward to recounting the conversation “Basically that I needed to listen to team orders. He was pissed that I was pissed that I didn’t win the thing. Said I needed to trust that the team knows what they’re doing.”

“They know what they’re doing?” You raised an eyebrow “Because the last time I checked, they’ve messed up both of our races this season” 

“Tell me about it” His tone shifted, frustration building, “I need him out.” 

A small grin tugged at the corner of your mouth “Twenty bucks he’s out of his job by the end of the season” 

Charles hesitated for a moment, then extended his hand “Deal” 

The rest of the season trudged along, with highs and lows in the car, the strategy, and the relationship between Mattia and his drivers. There were some days he would be all over their radios encouraging them, while others he would avoid them like the plague. 

And sure enough, once Abu Dhabi came, Charles and Ferrari were so far behind Max and Red Bull that it was impossible to catch up to them in either championship. Mattia announced that he would be stepping down at the end of the season, and you had repaired your rocky relationship with your team, allowing you to renew your contract with Ferrari. 

It was the final time in the media pen this season, and it felt much different. The usual questions about the ups and downs of the season were there, but now they came with a certain respect - respect for the struggles you had endured and for the candidness with which you handled it all. Your honest take on Ferrari’s performance had earned its fair share of criticism, but it had also sparked conversations, both within the paddock and among fans. 

The final question from the reporter hit differently. The interviewer’s tone wasn’t mocking, but rather filled with a certain curiosity. “How does it feel to know that you had called it earlier in the season, that Ferrari weren’t going to win either championship this year?”

The question hung in the air for a moment as you processed it. The emotions of the entire season flashed through your mind: the excitement of the podiums early on, the disappointment after races like Miami and Baku, the frustrations with the strategies, and the battles you fought on and off the track. It had been a rollercoaster, and while it hadn’t turned out the way you had hoped, you were still standing. 

You cracked a smile as you spoke, a mix of pride and exhaustion “Oh, so you guys believe me now?” you said, your voice light but laced with the weight of everything that had happened. “Have a good winter break. I’ll see you in Bahrain” 

It was the moment of closure you needed. The reporter thanked you for your time, before wishing you a good break as well. As you walked away from the media pen with Charles by your side, the season’s tension finally seemed to release, at least for a moment. 

Charles, sensing the mood, nudged you. “That was… honestly, impressive. You know, calling it before anyone else.” 

You let out a short laugh. “Yeah, I guess I had a feeling.” you said, shrugging. “At least I wasn’t wrong.”

Charles smirked, clearly tired but also relieved that the season was over. “Let’s just hope next year’s a little less… chaotic, yeah?”

“Agreed.”

[humusboii2thereturnoftheking]

Palestine is Ruining the Left

I've taken this from Reddit because I've found it an interesting read, I did not write this myself, a user named u/ u/TooLittleNuance did. Feel free to reply and engage in converation.

I'm an Israeli-American leftist who has been active in American and Israeli politics for a number of years now. I have always advocated for human rights, equity, and self-determination for Palestinians who are oppressed(to different extents) under Israel, a nation that commits itself to Jewish domination of institutions. I always voted and campaigned for progressive Democrats and I assisted with the Israeli Meretz party from abroad. This is why I think the current Palestinian-sympathetic movement is ruining the left:

Abandonment of Pragmatism - Just like the 2020 George Floyd protests("Defund the Police"), the Western left has completely embraced a suicidal strategy of idealistic radicalism. Many of those on the left insist the solution to the conflict is a one-state solution consisting of Palestine "from the River to the Sea". Unfortunately, they've appropriated the Palestinian mythology in their ambitions to magically destroy Israel and the ideology of Zionism by BDS somehow or supporting Palestinian "armed struggle". It doesn't take a lot of thought to see how both of those methods are incredibly ineffective and immoral to advocate for and implement. So, instead of a pragmatic approach, like empowering the Israeli left through donations and advocacy, supporting a reasonable solution(two-state or one-state under Israel), or calling for the ultimate humanitarian end to the war of a unilateral Hamas surrender, the Western left insists on a dream scenario that will never happen. This is the most egregious behavior of the left and it's their most common mistake(i.e. Vietnam). This is due to the fact that Palestinians, especially in Gaza, are suffering under disproportionate Israeli force with no Western movement to realistically end it. In fact, these Western leftists, due to these tactics, are assisting in empowering and legitimizing the far-right of Israel. They are the perfect strawman to turn people off to the left in Israel, which, in turn, results in a lengthened Palestinian suffering.

Maximalism - There's a tendency on the left to outcompete each other in radicalism. It's not catchy or sexy to say "The war tactics that Israel uses are disproportionate and don't consider enough of the humanitarian cost", it has to be "genocide" or "ethnic cleansing" in order to provoke an emotional reaction from uneducated Westerners. It's not "the security policy of Hafradah has resulted in reduced human rights of Palestinians compared to Israelis", it has to be "Apartheid"(with the only legal precedent being South Africa). These maximalist statements immeasurably hurt the movement for true progress on Palestinian human rights. It results in a boy-who-cried-wolf situation: If Israel decides to transfer the entire Gazan population to the Sinai, what is that called? A "genocide"? Due to the present labeling of the war, nobody will believe it. What if Israel permanently transfers or kills 100,000 Palestinian civilians? 200,000? 1 million? What will that be called? How can it get worse than "genocide"? This Maximalist rhetoric is not only inaccurate, but it's incredibly damaging to describe the proportionate extent of Palestinian suffering, which is vital to any movement that faithfully advocates for an upliftment of Palestinian life and identity.

Normalization of Bigotry - Explicit or latent Jew-Hatred is being increasingly embraced by radical sections of the Western left. Tropes such as "Zionist"(a euphemism for "Jew" for many) control of governments or blood libel. Wishing "Death to Zionists" or equating them with Nazis is, in most cases, latent Jew-Hatred. Regardless of your thoughts on the definition of Zionism(there is no definition, it is a meaningless term), it's clear that many believe that "Zionists" are just uppity Jews. Of course, this is genuinely believed by a small portion of the left. However, a substantial part of Western leftists has repeatedly failed to condemn this Jew-Hatred and to stop mirroring the language of these latent or explicit Jew-Haters. This is 1000x worse in the case of Israelis. For Western leftists, it's normal to call Israelis "colonizers", "demons", "rapists", and "child-murderers" on their social media without repercussion or introspective irony. As somebody belonging to the Israeli nationality, I have been desensitized to the insane amount of bigotry from those that I formerly respected. However, many Israelis or Jews aren't as depersonalized as I am, and they definitely take the bigotry to heart. What do you think results from that? Usually, a vote for Likud(Netanyahu's Party) or a donation to AIPAC. Thus, propagating a cycle of bigotry and continuing the suffering of Palestinians.

Propaganda - This war has sparked the largest disinformation campaigns in human history. Multiple state entities (Israel, U.S., Russia, Iran, Qatar) and numerous private entities are pumping out loads of propaganda in order to manipulate uneducated Westerners into supporting their interests. Since October 7th, known Russian disinformation propagator, Jackson Hinkle, has skyrocketed in followers due to his ability to mislead Western leftists on the war. I have seen an unfathomable amount of reposts from Al Jazeera and MiddleEastEye, known Qatari state propaganda and major propagates of misinformation. I have always appreciated the value of institutional skepticism that embodied many of the historical and academic leftist leaders. However, right now, those values are completely thrown out in favor of Russia or Iran's geopolitical advocacy of "everything the West does is bad". The previous three points of behavior are certainly emboldened by the paid disinformation and bots that propagate anti-Western sentiment to destabilize Western democracy. Meanwhile, the basic interests of Palestinian civilians are left unregarded while these state operatives kill their only lifeline.

Reactionary Resurgence - One of the main factors that attracted me to the left was its rejection of reactionary ideology(the establishment of traditional institutions from the past). For Israelis and Palestinians, reactionary rhetoric is normalized and encouraged in many cases. However, this reactionary ideology that has plagued those who share my nationality has spread to Western leftists in their advocacy for Palestine. Western leftists constantly appropriate the far-right and reactionary talking points that many radicalized Palestinians spout. An example would be the insistence on the exclusive indigeneity of Palestine from the River to the Sea, which abandons the progressive values of anti-nationalism and intersectionality. Another example would be the appropriation of Palestinian Martyrdom, in which many of them embraced the idea that human life can be inherently reduced to a political or national cause by their manner of death. This is a clear rejection of the values of individualism, secularism, and anti-nationalism.

Historical Negligence - Those who are even a little bit informed on the Israel-Palestinian Conflict understand that the conflict is too complex to be treated as a soccer match of Israelis vs. Palestinians. Many Israeli and Palestinian leaders set roadblocks to an equitable peace, while many others progressed the conflict to a more positive state. Even more than the historical complexity of this conflict, evaluating the moral complexity requires a graduate degree in a relevant field with hundreds of hours of research. I typically advise not to trust anybody's commentary of the conflict with any less credibility than the previous sentence. However, the Western left has instead decided to follow the historical and moral analysis of demagogues. There's constantly factually wrong or misleading historical information on many of these Palestinian-sympathetic accounts. An example is the map of a "disappearing Palestine" that millions have reposted, a blatantly misleading map meant to depict "Zionist colonization", meanwhile, neglecting the historical borders of the conflict. There are many other forms of historical negligence that they commonly employ that are extremely damaging for understanding the conflict.

In conclusion, Western leftists are keeping up with the Western traditions of white saviorism and interfering with this particular trendy foreign conflict. I could have written a few more grievances that I have of the Western left(including the embracement of far-right Islamist groups) but I wanted to keep the post relatively short. In several months, Western leftists will forget about the Gazans suffering under the disproportional force of the IDF. Nobody will self-criticize the ideas or tactics that they engaged in, meanwhile, the Israeli left-wing and reliable non-Hamas Palestinian advocacy organizations are left in the dust by an ineffective white-savior-esqe Western movement. Not only that but due to all of these factors making the left look like lunatics, Biden and the Democrats are being affected in the polling, which may result in Trump being elected, a terrible outcome for Palestinians.

[brossession-collection]

Dad's Cam Show (Re-uploaded)

Note: This is a story I wrote in 2020 that was previously deleted by Tumblr. Couldn't find it until I stumbled upon am old hard drive. Hope you enjoy.

--

This social distancing shit is so boring. I get it. It’s needed. But god damn am I running out of things to do. Can’t even meet the guys I’ve been talking to on Grindr. Worse yet is that I’m stuck back at home. I was supposed to graduate college this year! Instead I was slumped over a computer screen in my PJs with my dad making his special pancakes. Ugh. Fuck this shit. I just wish I could go back to a better time.

Whatever. I’m done complaining. Dad’s getting groceries which means I can snoop around his shit. Yeah I’m that bored.

Dad’s a big burly guy. Heading into his mid-forties now and starting to gray up a little, but still keeping his body builder life style. He’s pretty open with me. He told me he used to do cam shows back before livestreams were even a thing. Made sense. Had to show off the bod somehow. Don’t know how mom thought about it but whatever. She’s out of the picture.

His room always had a musky woodsy cologne-y smell. His laundry hamper was even better. I always loved taking his briefs out of there and putting them on myself. I’ve been following his footsteps and bodybuilding myself, but I’m still a ways away before I have an ass and waist as large as his. So his 36in undies droop a bit. I grabbed his black cap too. Man. He loves this thing. Well, plus the 10 others caps he has. He always had it topping his head. Pretty sure he wears it to sleep too. I put it on and flexed like him. I got a bit of a boner but nothing crazy.

His dinosaur of a laptop was open, and logged in. I know I shouldn’t have, but I did it anyways. There were so many folders within folders. So much boring shit… and then I found “cam pics.”

The briefs I was wearing tented and wetted. Fuck I was so scared to open it. But I clicked it and… In there was only one image. I clicked on it to make it bigger and it was my dad. About 13 years ago. He was shirtless, and wearing the same cap that I have on my head right now. My eyes drifted from his hairy arms to his chest to eventually his bearded face. He looked so… tired? There was something about the softness in his expression that really got to me. And then…

“Hey son! I’m home! Could ya help me with the groceries?”

Shit. I got up and scrambled. The briefs were soaked and still being soaked. I had so many windows to close out of. Then I started hearing his footsteps come closer. I panicked and grabbed the top of the laptop to close it, but I couldn’t move. Suddenly, all the windows on the screen started to close. All except for the image of dad I had opened it. It enlarged by itself, and then the laptop started to fucking shake. I tried to get it to stop but it just kept rumbling. Fuck it. I wound up my fist and punched the screen. But there was no impact.

In less than a second my body followed my wrist into the screen. Everything went bright, and I was in a different room. I looked around. It looked like my parents’ room at our old house. The same laptop was in front of me showing the same image as before. Dad’s younger face looking back… And then I saw his eyes move. I froze. I looked at the time. 12:56 turned to 12:57. This wasn’t an image. It was a fucking livestream.

I slowly tilted my head. Dad did the same. I widened my eyes. So did dad. A smile crept over our faces. I just time travelled! And into dad’s body! Fuck there was so much I could do now!

“PING”

A old-school AIM notification popped up on screen. I maneuvered dad’s hand to the mouse and clicked on it. “Hey daddy. You gonna give us a show or what?”

“PING”

“Let’s see those hairy pits man!”

Fuck. I guess dad wasn’t kidding about these cam shows. Shit how do I reply? Do I just say something?

“Uh…” I gulped. Dad’s gruff voice was in my throat. “You guys mean… uh… this?” I lifted and flexed dad’s right arm. Immediately his armpit hair bursted out. Moist and smelly. My nose naturally turned towards the sweaty pit. Holy fuck was it musky. I took a deep whiff and groaned.

“PING. PING. PING. PING.”

“Fuck yeah daddy. Sniff that pit.”

“God damn you’re a big guy. How’s it feel huh?”

It felt amazing being so big. Watching everything I was doing be reflected by my dad on the recording was even better. The cockiness came in.

I wheeled the office chair back and did a double bicep pose. Sweat dripped off his hairy pits. I gave my face a rub and felt his beard scratch against his callused fingers. Then my hands felt the need to go down to his chest. I never felt so much pleasure from nipple rubbing in my life. The pings kept on coming. It was euphoric.

Dad’s cock was tenting the briefs I had put on earlier. I uncaged his 7 incher and let out a whiff of junk musk that filtered into my nose immediately. I started stroking and couldn’t stop. My other hand reached under dad’s taint, through the forest of pubes, and rammed a dildo into my dad’s ass crack.

“PING. PING. PING.”

“Holy fuck this is new! We gonna see a fingering show today!?”

“God damn man you enjoying yourself?”

I was. Everytime Dad’s moans left my throat I felt cock twitch a little bit harder. It just felt so amazing to feel his beefy arms rub against his beefy chest. His toes curling with every electric shock of pleasure moving through his beefy ass and legs.

I shot his load. Let out a gutteral yell. And it didn’t stop coming. My beard was soaked with three shots of cum. Chest was drenched with eight more. At this point, sweat was trickling down my temples. I relished in dad’s orgasm and then relaxed in the chair.

I watched as the notifications went crazy. Dad’s soft eyes housing my consciousness. Ugh. It felt incredible. I glanced over at his hat and felt the need to take it off. I did, and felt a wave of cool relief come off my head. Dad’s hair was cropped short, like a messy crew cut. And it was dripping with sweat. I felt the need to say something.“You like that, men?” Dad had so much suave in voice. The pings accelerated.I smiled and played with my cock. I could feel another round coming but felt a bigger presence unfold. Suddenly dad’s body started to shake. I tried controlling it, but I couldn’t weigh him down. My arms were flailing before my hands grabbed onto the edges of the desk. I whipped my head back, then head-butted the laptop screen. Light filtered through.

I was back at home, in my dad’s loose fitting briefs, his cap nestled on my head. Dad’s footsteps came by, then turned another direction. Guess he wasn’t coming by his room just yet. I looked down at his briefs, now soaked with my cum. Fuck. Was it just a dream?

It must’ve been. Just a fucking horny fever dream. What the fuck ever. Better than what I had been doing up until now. I leaned over to close the laptop but noticed something.

The image had turned into a recording.

[vettelsdarling]

Darling, thank you for the AMAZING writing for my last request. <3 I am here with…HAMILTON! Here’s the prompt: 5+1: 5 times Lewis calls Y/N by a pet name and one time Y/N finds one for Lewis. I definitely think Lewis would shower his words of endearment and I am imagining a shy, blushing Y/N? Perhaps Y/N wants to find the perfect word/nickname to call her special person. Let your creativity run wild! I leave the rest up to you because I love your writings (obviously). Have fun!

𝐏𝐞𝐭 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬

Lissie note… I am so glad you like my stuff<3 Thank you for this request!!! I’ve never really written anything like it before, but it’s an interesting prompt and I’m willing to give it a try!

Things to note

This is set in the 2020 season

Lewis and reader have been dating for a year and a half before that

Reader is an accountant

Tiffany appreciation

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Tiniest bit of angst. Blink and you might miss it

Word Count: 4.2k+

Playlist recommendations: 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟💗, 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒

Taglist: @drugged-kitkat, @allwaysalleyway

You were walking home from your 9 to 5 job the day you met him. He’d been exploring the city he was to race in that coming weekend. With your face buried in your phone, aggressively replying to unanswered emails— you accidentally sealed your fate with the asphalt, tripping and falling onto the road. Luckily, it wasn’t an active one. He’d seen you scramble to scrape all your things together and rushed over to help you. Never had you seen such generosity from anyone before. You were used to people minding their own business if you fell or if you dropped something.

“You didn’t have to,” you’d said. He had a number of things in his arms that had spilled out of your bag… including feminine products. He hadn’t seemed to care though. He’d happily helped you load your things back to where they’d belonged.

“Of course I did.” You had managed to collect yourself before falling into conversation with him.

“You’re not from here, are you? I know most people in this town…” He was a new face. Not somebody who you’d seen before.

“Guilty as charged. I’m here for work.”

“What do you do?” It was forward and he had been taken aback but ultimately came up with something to string you along to.

“I’m an engineer… of sorts. You?” ‘Engineer’ made sense to you, as his style was very out there and the designer watches were more than your yearly salary.

“I’m just an accountant.” In stark contrast to him, you had on a white blouse and a grayscale checkered pencil skirt. Your ordinary uniform. Freedom was something you had to give up when you came in for work.

“I see… you work near here?” He had just been following you, not really paying any attention to where your feet had been taking you.

“Yeah, I do. About five minutes from here. Is your workplace near here or are you working from your house or hotel?” Your intention hadn’t been to pry, but the genuine curiosity drove you to ask him anyway.

“I guess it’s near? I can’t really say…  if I’m being honest.” That was obviously not the best answer. He had every opportunity to tell you a white lie, but he slipped up somehow. Did it even matter though? He wasn’t going to see you again… was he?

Days turned into weeks. He had given you his number after getting you home safely that day. You hadn’t been in contact with him until he finally sent you a simple text: “Hey, it’s Lewis.” It had sent you spiralling. You hadn’t been sure whether to pursue the connection or let it slip. For better or worse though, you had replied with a short quip. Not intricate enough to suggest something, but not doing a full swing in the other direction either.

It was, however, enough to spark something between the two of you. A blossoming bud that turned into a bountiful garden. That was you and Lewis Hamilton.

1. Trophy wife

The two of you had been dating for a few years. He eventually cracked, and told you about his actual job on the second date. Though his true identity was a Google search away, it came as a shock to you. Never had you ever believed him to be famous. He was so down-to-earth and humble.

Over the course of your years of dating, he had tried to make you quit your job. Mostly because he wanted to support you, but also because he wanted to spend more time with you. Every waking moment he wanted to spend in your presence. You refused and turned down every offer he gave you. Dating a celebrity was already more than enough for you to handle. You wanted normalcy in your life. Even if that came in the shape of hell sent bosses who cared very little about your well-being.

“You know I can cover you. If that won’t sell you, then Roscoe must. You could take care of him whilst I’m gone.” It was another day of his notorious begging for him to take care of you. It was a sweet sentiment, but even living with him was too much.

“I’m already taking care of him. Lewis, you can’t just make me a trophy wife. That’s not who I am. I want to work,” you said begrudgingly and seated yourself by the kitchen island.

“Trophy wife? Please. You will never be some sort of arm candy for me to show off. I love you. I just want you to take a rest, love.” Lewis decided to deploy a deadly weapon. The pet name. If there was one weakness you had— it was whenever he referred to you with a pet name. It made you all weak in the knees and your feet would feel like jelly. Forget about cloud nine, you were swimming in warmth.

“That’s not fair, Lew. You can’t just do that to me.” You scrunched your nose at him and checked your phone for incoming notifications from your workplace text chain. Or so you thought it looked like. In reality, you were hiding your face from him. It was redder than the apple in the fruit bowl on the kitchen counter.

“Hmm, you know, I’m not so sure what you mean by that, my love.” Oh, how you wished he would stop. It was hard to resist giving in. Especially when he paired it with such a precious smile. Who’d be able to peel their eyes from that?!

“Look, we aren’t talking about this right now. I’ll be on my way now,” you scoffed and left, leaving your lover with the last laugh. Once again, you let him have his victory.

2. Flatscreen

A few months passed before he tried his luck again. With a new offer. Lewis tried to reason with you, but just like always— you simply would not have it.

“No. Never in a million years,” you snapped and closed the fridge a little too aggressively, remembering to mutter a quiet “sorry”. The Brit even got up early that morning to make you breakfast in bed— just for good measure. If you were in a great mood, surely you’d be more agreeable. Yet… he was utterly wrong. You were headstrong and did not agree one bit.

“You need it, sweets.” Again with the pet names. That was the final nail in the coffin for his begging.

“You can’t just expect me to splurge on a flatscreen simply to watch you race on more pixels! I can watch you perfectly fine on our current TV, thank you very much.” You poured him a glass of orange juice and scooped some protein powder in it as well. He drank it all in one go.

“Splurge? You won’t need to. I’ll buy it for you, okay?” He crossed his arms confidently and made sure to smirk like he always did whenever he tried to prove something.

“Okay? What do you mean ‘okay’?! You will not buy me a brand new flatscreen, Lewis.” Your face was flushed and your frustration was only piling up.

“You can’t tempt me with those things you call me. That won’t work.” Who were you kidding? You lived for his little pet names and those brief moments he’d hold you in his arms while the two of you stared into the early morning view.

“Whatever you say, sugar.” Oh, how you wish you threw the juice in his face instead of offering it to him.

3. Restaurant

You were standing next to Tiffany in the Mercedes garage. Both of you were wearing large headphones whilst watching the screens showing your boyfriends. It was hard not to make noise whenever Lewis overtook someone, but you were just able to contain yourself.

Tiffany was surprisingly calm and collected, but wasn’t afraid to groan and sigh if Valterri slipped up. You weren’t the type to show much of anything unless it regarded Lewis. It was something that you’d grown up with. A habit of sorts.

“How long have you been with Lewis by now?” Tiffany asked with a slight tug of her lip.

“A few years now… I don’t think we’ll ever get tired of each other.” You said that as if he didn’t bug you with his endless blabbering about wanting to spoil you and give you every black card he owned. 

“That is just too sweet! I can only wish that Valterri and I will last as long. I certainly love him.” In a way, you envied her position. She was a professional athlete, much like her partner, whilst you were stuck counting numbers behind a desk all day. She was gorgeous too… it was as if a strike of adoration hit you whenever she passed you in the paddock.

“Yeah… Lewis is something else.” You watched him speed past the camera on the screen. A smile spread across your face, knowing he was doing his best.

Lewis managed to secure a pole position, giving you a kiss as he saw you in the crowd with all of the Mercedes crew. Your heart swelled at the amount of attention he gave you rather than his engineers. Especially knowing he was dead serious about his career and his coworkers.

The podium celebration was magnificent. He sprayed the champagne as if he’d won the lottery. Butterflies formed in your stomach at his pure glee. He was adorable.

There was an after-party, but Lewis had other plans in mind. He wanted to take you out for the night. Even though you didn’t mind partying, there was something in him that held him back from letting you do so. It felt morally wrong of him to drag you along to his work retreats.

“You’re really not going to tell me where we’re going?” Your face was pressed up against the car window. His hand was on your thigh, gently caressing it. You could almost feel yourself dozing off.

“You’ll see when we get there, honey.” That one was fairly new. It felt more domestic too. That was probably why your cheeks were hotter than an iron.

“You’re crazy,” you said with a chuckle.

“Crazy about you.”

“No.”

“Okay, I’ll admit that was pretty lame.”

“Yeah, it was.” The two of you had a small laugh about it before turning some music on. The two of you had made a shared playlist. One that consisted mainly of your favourites. Since you had far too many, they outnumbered your boyfriend’s.

The ride was long, but the destination made it worth it. He’d driven you to a cliffside restaurant. It was quaint and cosy and had balcony seats. You could see the ocean and its waves cascading onto each other in a synchronized manner. It was beautiful. Lewis was a romantic. Not exactly what someone would expect at first glance, but he truly cared deeply for you and your needs. It was almost impossible to say no to him.

“Lewis… Thank you for this.”

“No, honey, thank you. I won today because you were here with me. It’s the first race you’ve come to in a while now.” The man was perfect.

“Yeah, and I’m sorry I haven’t been able to attend that many. My job won’t allow me and—”

“Hey- no- none of that. Stop making yourself the guilty party here. You’re doing what you love and you should not be worrying about me. I see you whenever I’m home and that’s enough for me.” Your fingers interlocked with his as he leaned in to peck your lips. The support he gave you couldn’t amount to anything you’d ever received from anyone. Even your own family.

“Thank you.”

“Anything for you.”

4. Bath

You were dead. Completely drained from your job. It felt like your body was that of a gigantic slug. You couldn’t move a single limb. Your brain had already checked out, so you were pretty much stuck. Being too tired to move, you decided to take a rest on the couch that you’d collapsed onto upon entering your shared home.

Your boss was a nightmare. He overworked everyone to the bone, and if you happened to pass into overtime, he refused to pay you for your extra hours. Was it fair? No. Was there anything you could do about it? Also no. You had to endure him for as long as possible. At least until you could find yourself a different company to work at. Quitting had been on your mind for some time, but with Lewis travelling all the time— you felt that you couldn’t just stay home all day. You still wanted to occupy yourself with a job.

The faint sound of Roscoe’s pattering paws could be heard inching closer. You didn’t mind looking after him. He was the sweetest and didn’t require much of you.

“I’ll take you out in 5,” you mumbled somewhat incoherently to the dog. He had politely plopped himself in front of the couch, staring at you with those adorable eyes. Your hand reached out to scratch him, as it would give you more time to stall and relax.

The more you contemplated whether or not to quit, the more you started leaning towards a self-destructive mindset. You wanted to work. You had to. It didn’t feel right for you to leech off of your boyfriend. That was simply not an option for you.

“I’m home!” You heard a strong voice boom throughout the house. It was Lewis, who had been out for most of the day. He was usually stuck in a billion meetings and was often hard to reach. You didn’t care about that though. You were just proud of him for working so hard. It made you feel guilty for not working nearly as hard as him.

“Hey, there you are. You don’t look well, are you ill?” He crouched down next to Roscoe to meet your face. Your eyes were closed due to the weight of your eyelids, but you lightly shook your head.

“I’m just really tired. Sorry, I didn’t take Roscoe out for his evening walk… I’m a bad dog mum.” Lewis chuckled lightly at the term you used to describe yourself. ‘Dog mum’.

“No need to worry about that. Your well-being comes first. How about I draw you a bath? I’ll take Roscoe out whilst you soak up some relaxing aromas.” If there was a ‘Boyfriend of the Year’ award, surely Lewis would win. He cared about the little things. The things you hadn’t even thought about.

“Thanks, Lew… you’re too good to me.”

“Nonsense. You deserve to be treated like royalty.” He stroked your cheek, causing your lips to tug upwards.

“I’ve been thinking about quitting.” You announced it out of the blue, but Lewis seemed unphased. Your eyes finally had some strength to stay open, so you looked straight into his. A mix of elation and calmness. That was your Lewis.

“That’s great. You shouldn’t work with a boss who doesn’t appreciate your efforts. Trust me, I would know. I’m lucky to have Toto, but I can’t even imagine working with some of the other team principals.” You knew about Williams’ fall from grace after the daughter of the former team principal stepped in.

“I don’t know though… I don’t want to stay home all day long and do nothing. I have to work, you know?” You had to face the music. There was no way you could quit and still be able to work. Accounting wasn’t special in Monaco. You were likely not someone a lot of companies were looking for.

“It doesn’t matter to me. I can take care of you, angel.”He really deployed your kryptonite. The name made your heart flutter as if the two of you were back in your honeymoon phase. It wasn’t fair.

“That’s a dirty trick, Lew. I’m not going to quit until I find a job I can replace my current one with. I’m sorry. It may not matter to you, but it matters to me.” Lewis got up and stretched before walking towards one of the many bathrooms,

“I’ll prepare a bath for you.”

5. New job

It had been a few months since you last brought up your work situation to Lewis. You had decided to continue until you’d eventually short-circuit. All that mattered was that you were a working girlfriend instead of a stay-at-home one. You didn’t have anything against that lifestyle in particular. It just wasn’t for you.

This day was special. You were cooking a vegan curry when Lewis came out of the shower to help you chop vegetables. It was a celebratory dish, as you had just been fired. Apparently, you had been doing ‘the bare minimum’ and that simply wasn’t good enough. Under normal circumstances, it would’ve been devastating to be fired, but you were elated. It sure as hell was better than quitting.

“What’s got you in such a giddy mood?” Lewis came up behind you and hugged your waist. Your body leaned into his and it was as if you were floating on clouds. Fluffy clouds of love.

“I was fired.” He pulled away from you and got the cutting board out.

“This is great news! We should eat out tomorrow to celebrate.” He started chopping up some potatoes to dump in the pot.

“I was thinking this could be a celebration. Just you, me, and Roscoe. We could throw on a good movie and all.” Lewis didn’t oppose that idea. He smiled and nodded, continuing his feat with the veggies.

Then it hit you. You’d be jobless. You hadn’t found a job to replace the old one with. A pang of guilt hit you like a freight train. You somehow managed to overlook the fact all day. Your breathing became hard and heavy. You had to take a break.

“Woah woah woah, what’s wrong?” You saw Lewis with the kitchen knife and apron. His image was getting blurry from tears you simply couldn’t hold back.

“I thought we were celebrating? What’s going on? Are you okay?” He put down the knife, undid his apron, and pulled you out of the kitchen. Luckily nothing was boiling. 

“I just… I’m jobless,” you sniffled through your tears. The salty liquid coated your lips, and you could taste the despair. You slowly sank down onto the floor with him following suit.

“Well, that was the point,” said Lewis. You found it oddly comforting, but guilt still clung to every part of you. Like poison, you didn’t have the antidote for.

“I don’t want to burden you like that.” You were able to speak clearer after Lewis rubbed your back for support.

“You could never be a burden to me, okay? You are the reason I’m still standing here today with win after win. You motivate me to keep being strong and keep aiming for higher heights. How could you ever be a burden to me?” His words were like a warm hug. Your tensed muscles relaxed a little bit.

“I don’t know… I’ve never not worked before. I don’t exactly come from wealth,” you sighed. As much as it was about burdening your boyfriend— it was about your own values. Coming from what most would consider ‘middle class’, you always had to work harder than your peers. Monaco didn’t have time to wait around for you, so you always tried so desperately to catch up. It felt embarrassing. Your home country was just as forward and busy. There was never time for you. Working hard was a lifestyle that you had to pull off.

“Do you think I came from wealth? I didn’t. I worked my ass off to get here, and now that I have the means to spoil you. I want you to feel that you can take a rest, okay?” His reasoning was flawed to you. There was something about it that just couldn’t sway you.

“Lewis, I can’t be your trophy wife. I can’t.” You shook your head and swallowed hard.

“You won’t be. Think of this as your new job. You’ll have the responsibility to take care of Roscoe and keep the house clean and habitable. Is that not considered work?” There was no other offer on the table and there was no other option. The only way for you was that.

“Basically a housewife.”

“Darling, please.” Your stomach did cartwheels and the butterflies tumbled around in there.

“It’s okay. I’ll just have to make do,” you sighed and rested your face in your hands.

“Hey, at least you’ll be able to come to more of my races— if not all.” Wow, what a consolation… but he wasn’t exactly wrong.

“You know what? I have to make a call. I’ll be right back.” Lewis got up and made his way to the guest room for privacy. Meanwhile, you stared into the white ceiling. You felt so tiny. As if you were just a small speck of dust. An inconvenience. Muffled sounds were coming from the room Lewis had gone into. You could tell that it was about his job. Something that you already missed. Your boss was terrible, but at least you had something to do every day. At least he let you have 10-minute lunch breaks. Which, in retrospect, was far from enough time.

It took a while, but Lewis finally came back. His face looked as if he couldn’t contain himself. He seemed excited?

“Guess what.” He crouched down to meet your eyes.

“What?”

“You have a job.” He smiled and reached for your hand, helping you stand by supporting your waist.

“No need to rub in my new position as a housewife. I get it, Lew.”

“No. I pulled a few strings, and you’re going to be in the accounting department on my team.” Your eyes flew open in shock.

“What? Wait what?!”

“You get to work from home too, so it’s sort of like a compromise. You’ll be able to come to my races and you’ll be working like any other person. Your pay is higher than your last job too.” It was all too much, but you couldn’t turn it down after he’d just done something so grand for you. It’d be rude.

“Lewis, I genuinely don’t even know what to say. I mean, this is just amazing.” Your tears were all dried up on your face, and your eyes were gorgeous from them.

“You didn’t have to do this for me, you know?”

“I’ve told you so many times now; that I would do anything for you, darling.” Lewis was truly out of this world. His generosity and humbleness were his character. That was him. That was all yours.

+1. Handsome

The time had come for the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix to commence. Lewis was in the running position to bring home yet another championship. He had been dominating all season, so there wasn’t really a question of whether or not he’d win. That fate was sealed. It was just a matter of if he could snatch the last win of the season. You certainly didn’t doubt his skills paired with his car. He was basically unstoppable.

“You did great in the qualifying sessions, I’m sure you’ll do great now. You’re starting from pole position. You’ve got this in the bag, I’d say so.” You smiled as he got into his race suit.

“I have no doubts. I’ve got my lucky charm with me.” He looked at you with a silly smile plastered onto his face. Cute.

“I believe in you, handsome,” you cooed and winked at him before walking away, leaving him with the effects of having been called a pet name, when he’s usually the one to get the fun out of you. He felt his chest tighten and tingle. Perhaps the race would be in his favour after that one.

You were seated next to Tiffany again. The two of you were too focused on the race to have an actual conversation. You were completely immersed in your boyfriend, hoping that he’d not only win but also stay safe. You were convinced he wouldn’t do anything reckless though. That wasn’t like him.

He didn’t win, but at the very least he scored a podium finish. You were still proud of him. He was the 2020 world champion.

The crowd surge towards the podium stand nearly crushed you several times, but you were able to get in front of everyone else to receive a heartwarming kiss from your lover.

“You did so well out there, baby, I’m so proud!” His heart nearly stopped when you called him that. You pulled him in for a hug, before letting the engineers embrace him. The smile on his face was immaculate, and you couldn’t wait for the ceremony where he’d rightfully receive his trophy. You had been to the same ceremony a year prior, but something felt much more special about this year. Both you and Lewis had grown so much over the span of it, it didn’t feel real, but at the same time— you couldn’t remember how it felt before.

Safe to say, you were definitely going to stick around for a long time. Losing his lucky charm would be detrimental after all.

𝗥𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻…

𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚!

𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩! (𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙤𝙣, 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨, 𝙙𝙢𝙨, 𝙤𝙧 𝙖𝙨𝙠𝙨: 𝙒𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙙𝙧𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧(𝙨) 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚(𝙨) 𝙤𝙛 𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣.)

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Vice President Kamala Harris walked onto the ABC News debate stage with a mission: trigger a Trump meltdown.

She succeeded.

Former President Donald Trump had a mission too: control yourself.

He failed.

Trump lost his cool over and over. Goaded by predictable provocations, he succumbed again and again.

Trump was pushed into broken-sentence monologues—and even an all-out attack on the 2020 election outcome. He repeated crazy stories about immigrants eating cats and dogs, and was backwards-looking, personal, emotional, defensive, and frequently incomprehensible.

Harris hit pain point after pain point: Trump’s bankruptcies, the disdain of generals who had served with him, the boredom and early exits of crowds at his shrinking rallies. Every hit was followed by an ouch. Trump’s counterpunches flailed and missed. Harris met them with smiling mockery and cool amusement. The debate was often a battle of eyelids: Harris’s opened wide, Trump’s squinting and tightening.

Harris’s debate prep seemed to have concentrated on psychology as much as on policy. She drove Trump and trapped him and baited him—and it worked every time.

Trump exited the stage leaving uncertain voters still uncertain about whether or not he’d sign a national abortion ban. He left them certain that he did not want Ukraine to win its war of self-defense. He accused Harris of hating Israel but then never bothered to say any words of his own in support of the Jewish state’s war of self-defense against Hamas terrorism. In his confusion and reactiveness, he seemed to have forgotten any debate strategy he might have had.

Something every woman watching the debate probably noticed: Trump could not bring himself to say the name of the serving vice president, his opponent for the presidency. For him, Harris was just a pronoun: a nameless, identity-less “she,” “her,” “you.” It’s said that narcissists cope with ego injury by refusing to acknowledge the existence of the person who inflicted the hurt. If so, that might explain Trump’s behavior. Harris bruised his feelings, and Trump reacted by shutting his eyes and pretending that Harris had no existence of her own independent of President Joe Biden, whose name Trump was somehow able to speak.

Hemmed, harried, and humiliated, Trump lost his footing and his grip. He never got around to making an affirmative case for himself. If any viewer was nostalgic for the early Trump economy before its collapse in his final year in office, that viewer must have been disappointed. If a viewer wanted a conservative policy message, any conservative policy message, that viewer must have been disappointed. When asked whether he had yet developed a health-care plan after a decade in politics, Trump could reply only that he had “concepts of a plan.”

Almost from the start, Harris was in control. She had better moments and worse ones, but she was human where Trump was feral. She had warm words for political opponents such as John McCain and Dick Cheney; Trump had warm words for nobody other than Viktor Orbán, the Hungarian strongman whom Trump praised for praising Trump. It was an all-points beatdown, and no less a beating because Trump inflicted so much of it on himself.

At a minimum, this display will put an end to the Trump claim that Harris is a witless nonentity unqualified to engage in debate. Harris met Trump face-to-face before tens of millions of witnesses. She dominated and crushed him, using as her principal tools her self-command and her shrewd insight into the ex-president’s psychic, moral, and intellectual weaknesses.

Will it matter that Harris so decisively won? How can it not? But it may matter more that Trump so abjectly lost to a competitor for whom he could not utter a syllable of respect.

David Frum is a staff writer at The Atlantic.

[solarwynd]

https://x.com/BTSBILLIONSCLUB/status/1818072379118981300?t=cjUGN08NX7ARww0YG_YorA&s=19

To all the people saying "Armys don't care about hyung line, they just care about maknae line", you know what? You're right, that's absolutely true. But the real question is: What are you gonna do about it? That has been the case for 11 years now, are you gonna keep crying for another decade? Maybe it's time for people to accept that armys are and have always been a heavily biased fandom, and if that pisses you off so bad then leave, cause we all know is not gonna change. Years of complaining have never fixed the issue, in fact, it's only gotten worse. Most of the group's golden years are behind them, and the tendency is for solo work to take up more and more space as time goes on. There's no fixing the problem at this point, so either accept it or leave. 'Real army' this, 'fake army' that, have you considered that if the vast majority of your fandom is and has been a certain way since the very beginning, then maybe that's what the 'real' version of your fandom is? Have you considered that maybe the 'real army' is a fandom that doesn't care about the members equally? Cause the real version can't be the minority, and maybe that minority are the ones who are in the wrong place here. All groups have this problem, so I don't know why some people thought armys were gonna be the magical exception where fans somehow managed to equally like 7 different people. If anything, they should consider themselves lucky that there are multiple members fans care about, cause it could've been just one like it happens to a lot of other groups.

And if I wanna be real controversial here, what if I say that BTS themselves are partially to blame for this? You get the fandom you get based on what you offer, and if you offer an unbalanced group, you're gonna get an unbalanced fandom. Cause let's be honest here, BTS is a vocalist group with rappers in it. Like when a singer has a rapper as a feature in their song, sure, the song has a rapper in it, but you wouldn't call it a rap song. That's what BTS's music has been like since they changed their sound way back in 2015, and it has only gotten more pronounced over the years. Especially when you consider a lot of fandom is from 2020 and after. You really think you're gonna get rap fans with songs like Dynamite and Butter? If BTS wants a rap fandom maybe they should start making rap music. And no, one rap line song every album is not gonna cut it. And as armys love to say, rap line is in charge of their music, so who's to blame for this if not them? They knew they were not gonna get big if they continued with their inicial plan of trying to be a hip-hop idol group, so they changed it. That's the choice they made. If they made their bed, then they can lie in it. Rap line will get no sympathy from me. And as for Jin? You give nothing, you get nothing.

Maknae line is the reason the group has as many fans as they do, so they're gonna have all the popularity. If we wanna get specific, then this is how it goes. Jungkook being given way more lines, screentime and dance center that everybody else was inevitably gonna result in him being popular, let's not act clueless. Taehyung realized he was in a k-pop group which means you just need fans to like looking at you to be popular, so he stoped acting silly, got all serious and mysterious, double down on the fanservice, and got more popular because of it. Jimin worked his ass off with whatever little he was given and it payed off for him. Especially now in the solo era with him being the only maknae line member actually putting in effort to make good music. So if people listen to his music more than other's, then good, he deserves it.

The point is, armys are the fandom they are and the fandom they were made to be. There's nothing unexpected going on here, some people just can't accept reality and prefer to instead subject all of us to their whining and I'm way past being over it.

.🎯

[rosemariad]

THE BITTER END | SPN 15x18 DESPAIR: About that Destiel moment in 15x18

Oh boy…the scene that sailed a thousand memes (and counting)…the scene that made us all go feral in the midst of a contentious presidential elections in one of the most disruptive, chaotic years in recent memory (2020 you son of a bitch)

Now i am super late with this since it’s nearly been 4 years since this was aired live on TV and posted like crazy all over the internet BUT…y’all Destiel shippers got robbed. Not just with this scene but the whole Destiel ship in general - just done so dirty.

I started watching this show on and off back in 2021 and I finally got to finish over the summer this year (2024) taking my sweet time, even rewatching certain episodes (for some fanfic writing 😁). I went into this to settle the debate for myself - is this Destiel stuff legit? Or was it taken out of context? Misconstrued.

No. It really wasn’t. They (the powers behind SPN) tried it, tried to pull the wool over people’s heads, with certain fans chiming in (the destiel haters, the homophobes, the anti-mishas, etc.) but no. The SPN showrunners fucked all this up.

From the beginning….

So it’s 15x18 despair - we’re in the last act - shit’s popping off, everything’s going tits up - Billie is trying to hunt Dean down, calling him chaos incarnate. Dean & Cas get trapped in a room with no apparent means of escape or defense - probably should’ve headed for the exit - but I guess since it’s the 3rd to last episode and the execs clearly want things to go back to the status quo 🙄 now’s as good a time as any to cash in on that plot thread from last season and kill Castiel once and for all 😭 (as 1 person pointed out, given the prior context they probably could've just waited Billie out, since them being trapped in that room - Cas was the one that blocked the door anyhow - but I get it SPN showrunners you wanted to get rid of Cas somehow - what a mess)

If you haven’t watched it - here’s where I gasp and scoff in disbelief - please watch it https://youtu.be/l_r9GZeQl1w?si=uVox8PlXByYEYKci

Basically Cas tells Dean he’s the greatest guy he’s ever known, that he fights for love and that Cas lurves Dean 😭 and he’s not the bad things enemies say Dean is. That he’s more than the worst parts of himself - oh Cas.

This was Castiel’s one moment of true happiness - telling the one person whom he adores more than anyone or anything else in the entire universe - that he is loved by Castiel himself.

The confession that triggers Castiel’s demise to go with the empty, takes Billie with him and before Dean can process the massive TRUTH BOMB Castiel just dumped on him, Castiel is gone.

Despair indeed.

They made too many fucking cuts to this scene, at least for Jensen’s coverage. Like if you don’t want Dean to reciprocate…fine. Don’t. But let him fucking respond! Let him use his words. Castiel just told Dean he was in love with him, that is one of the BIGGEST things you can say to somebody in your life. EVER. Especially on TV. And yes it was in love, like romantically. Not platonically because why make such a fucking fuss over fucking platonic friendship! There’s always been a tension between these 2 characters, it hung over between them since season 4. They just made it into a joke, never expecting to get the traction it did over the years. They even tried writing Cas off the show for good back in season 7. But they got stuck with Cas and never really made proper use of him. They literally just waited until the last minute to get rid of him in a way that couldn’t get the show cancelled until that decision had already been made by the network. to make things worse - COVID happened

So don’t tell me the confession doesn’t merit a response, either for or against on Dean’s part - whether he returns Castiel’s affection or not is another story but dammit let Dean speak! How could you not? Cowards!

And Would it be so terrible if Dean did feel something MORE than friendship for the only other individual that has stood by him for so many years? Like really? A relationship doesn’t demand sex (but let’s be honest, Cas probably wanted to fuck the shit outta Dean 🤣) it’s whatever the people in the relationship want! Dean isn’t young by the time s15 rolls around. Older people tend to just want someone to come home to, settle down with. Companionship. Cas fits that to a fucking T. When Dean dreamed of a future, Cas was right there with him (and Sam, cuz Dean always wants his family close as much as he can, given how he grew up).

Couldn’t find a gif of Dean talking about taking some time off after all the craziness of the hunting they do but I’m not crazy I know he wanted it.

The team behind SPN could have finished Dean’s narrative beautifully as man who was driven by fear all his life and opens himself up to a relationship he never saw coming but when the time came he didn’t run because he grew to love more than fear (and choose to live a life of peace after stuck in one of violence for so many years).

This is why Hollywood is shit! Great beginnings, shitty endings. But in this case, it was because they consistently chose NOT to indulge in queer-like narratives with enough care (aside from some other problematic stuff like the treatment towards women being more negative than positive, the inconsistent writing for characters and plot, etc.)

BUT not when it’s the main character 😡 Charlie can be gay AF but not Dean, seriously? That’s fucked. Like at least let him fucking explore/consider it. So people stop watching it who gives AF?! I never even watched the show when it was on air for 15 years, tons of people didn’t. There are still people out there watching SPN for the first time today! People who started but stopped because it’s a show that ran WAAAY longer than any other normally does.

Idk who made it so that Dean couldn’t explore his sexuality or fucked up the Destiel of it all but they SUUUUUUUUCK! You really shat the bed! at least explore it cuz at the end of the day, it may not work out. Gay relationships aren’t that different from straight relationships in that sometimes it just doesn’t work out BECAUSE we’re ALL people. And who knows maybe they could’ve been happy but we’re not allowed to know that canonically because Destiel was never given a CHANCE!

I mean if it was REALLY that big a deal – why introduce it? By making these little suggestions that (in a way that's funny but why would Dean be queer be haha funny - no that's not okay, queerness shouldn't be a joke) furthermore we’re talking about a show on basic cable - all it would’ve taken was fucking hand-holding or the same routine of staring into each other’s eyes like they’d been doing for 12 fucking years already! Just not shying away from the queerness that time. Legend of Korra did it. That 1 Disney show did it (i don’t remember the name). No kissing would’ve been necessary - nice, wishful thinking but not necessary if the kissing became an issue (but seriously it was 2020 man but ofc - that is a year where a pandemic that required social distancing decided to kick in during the final arc of this show) - just so we’re all clear COVID cock blocked Destiel lol jk 🤣

All those times they had Dean & Cas stare into each other's eyes – the forces at work – showrunners, writers, directors AND editors & the network who is showing this to audiences – if its such a big fucking deal - Don't leave it in. By leaving it in, you're allowing people to make assumptions about the relationship – it happens literally every time in every story ever told. You put 2 people in a scene and they're not family (though not always the case) or JUST friends (explicitly proven) there's a chance SOMEONE is gonna wanna ship them no matter how likely it is (OR NOT) they'll hookup or become a couple. That's just how it is. So don't fan the flames and then turn it around on fans that they're wrong, crazy or misinterpreting. If Wincest can exist, so can Destiel and any other ship. That being said, y’all Destiel shippers were ROBBED but I don’t need to tell you that.

I don’t think the relationship would’ve been perfect or smooth sailing - their friendship as it was on the show sure wasn’t. And Dean wasn’t the only one with issues - Cas had some bad qualities too - the angel liked to lie and for a while there he was extremely averse to conflict. And Dean…he gets real fucking angry 😬 not a good mix for a relationship- hell even a friendship.

But the two had a profound bond, with a great deal of affection for one another and that’s what got them through betrayal, fights, amnesia, curses, apocalypses, and all the ugliness in between. They could’ve made it. Or they could’ve just had Cas and Dean stay friends - but we’ll never know since Cas was pretty much omitted after 15x18 - there were references - like only 2 though 😒

Really SPN? 😒😔 so lazy. But sure, go ahead, blame COVID. It’s not like phones exist. It’s not like the actor couldn’t have just recorded Castiel’s voice nope. Totally not an option 🤦🏾‍♀️ same goes for the other characters - Jody, Donna, Eileen - you know all the other characters Sam & Dean cared about but sure - fuck ‘em too. Status quo is the only thing that matters - SMH.

[walkawaytall]

I really wish there was more interest in how to handle ADHD other than just addressing the symptoms that affect the people around us.

Like, the best pharmaceutical treatment we have right now is stimulants, and I agree that being on stimulants 24 hours a day, 365 days a year is probably not good for your body. Hell, I’m on a less-than-ideal dose of my medication from a concentration perspective because the ideal dose had my resting heart rate sitting at a cool 115BPM. I know taking med holidays is important. I know all of this.

But because ADHD isn’t just an attention problem (or may not actually be an attention problem at all at its core), it sucks that the only time period medical professionals seem to be concerned about treating are the “important” times: the length of a school or workday. Forget the fact that ADHD affects executive function, forget the fact that people with ADHD often experience chronic and unending anxiety and/or depression as a result of the ADHD, forget that there are important times that have nothing to do with an 8-hour school or work day, forget the rejection sensitivity dysphoria, the sensory issues that make things like clothing, food, and group situations a nightmare to try to navigate, the household stuff that has to be taken care of outside of the 8-hour school or work day. It feels like none of that matters because it doesn’t affect a group of fifteen or more people.

On top of ADHD, I have been plagued with anxiety-related issues for the majority of my life. I likely have a form of OCD and I have a history with a restrictive eating disorder; both of those conditions are very closely associated with high levels of anxiety. I’ve been on anxiety medications before. I was first given an as-needed medication that took the edge off but also made everything feel a little fuzzy, like there was a pane of glass between me and the rest of the world; I was put on an SSRI that somehow made my OCD-related intrusive thoughts about 50x worse than usual and had me wondering at one point if I should be hospitalized; and I’m currently on buspirone, which is doing what it’s supposed to do without the side effects of the others thankfully. But nothing, and I mean nothing, has reduced my anxiety as much as my ADHD medication.

Two hours after my first stimulant dosage, I just suddenly didn’t feel on-edge any more. I estimate that being on ADHD medication has reduced my anxiety by about 70% (buspirone’s for the other 30%). I started taking it in the summer of 2020 and I remember, in 2021, when I saw my boss in person for the first time since lockdown, he remarked on how much more confident I seemed, how I was more likely to speak up in meetings, etc. And I was like…yeah, man, it’s a wonder what not feeling anxious every second of every day will do for someone.

ADHD affects so much more of my life than just attention and anxiety, too. I have sensory issues with mine, which is pretty common, and they make eating — an already sometimes-complicated task due to the ED history — difficult at times because, while I can eat foods that I don’t particularly like, if something is what I call “the bad texture”, I will gag no matter how hard I work to overcome it (believe me, I’ve tried). And my brain sometimes decides that foods that were previously fine are now “the bad texture” and they may or may not shift back to being okay eventually; I don’t know.

The sensory issues affect me socially. My therapist and I have recently come to the conclusion that I’m probably not actually an introvert, but if I’m around larger groups, that means noise and movement and probably being touched, and too much of that causes my brain to either freak out or shut down. I used to always say, “I love people, but when I’m done, I’m done.” And that was likely because the overstimulation was building and building in the background, and at a certain point, my brain would just be like, “We gotta get outta here.” I was Queen of Irish Goodbyes for a very long time because of this.

And the executive dysfunction affects…well..everything? Not just work, not just school (but also those because if my environment is chaotic, my brain feels chaotic, and it is difficult to maintain a non-chaotic environment if you keep getting stuck on order of operations when picking up a room).

I’m not saying that I want to be on longer-lasting stimulants or that I want to be on the higher dose that I know helps my concentration more, cardiovascular system by damned. What I’m saying is, I wish treatment research had been more holistic rather than just figuring out what would give teachers and managers an easier time despite what the person with ADHD might be dealing with as soon as their meds wear off.

Maybe current research is working on it; I don’t know. I just know that, the older I get, the more frustrated I am with my brain and the more apparent the deficiencies I used to be able to counteract with pre-chronic-illness energy and crushing perfectionism become, and I wish there was an answer to this that actually helped me most of the time rather than forcing me to pick which parts of my day/week is “important” and making sure I’m medicated for those parts.

[i-like-to-look-at-your-back]

Yearly summary!

Here are the previous ones: 2022 / 2021 / 2020 / 2019 / 2018 / 2015

My thoughts under the cut ✂

Oh boy let me tell you. (TMI probably) It was a pretty good year until it totally wasn't. And I can't stress enough how much it wasn't good then. It all started with jumping head-first into WolfStar bc why not. And it was so nice, I still have like 5 other illustrations started. But then my doc prescribed me some hormones and it all went crashing down. I didn't expect it and I was so very not prepared. It started like a regular sad PMS that just didn't end. But then it got worse, every day I felt like I was stepping into depression at an alarmingly fast pace. When I reached the bottom it felt so much worse than what I've ever experienced and the only thing keeping me going day after day was the knowledge that those damn meds were to blame and if only I could go through the whole treatment I surely (HOPEFULLY) would go back to normal. Looking back at it now, I realize I could have contacted my doc and simply dropped the treatment bc it was totally not worth it (and it didn't work anyway so (^: ). But I didn't know my brain was capable of jumping so deep so fast. So I pushed through somehow, wasted 4 months of 2023 on barely surviving. With the hormones out of my system I managed toy prepare and finish whole Inktober. I still don't know how it happened. Where I found the energy to do that after my mid-year drama? But I'm very proud it somehow happened :) Also sometime during Fall I found out about and started "Artist's Way". It slowly changed my mindset and now I'm full of willpower and creative energy for 2024 (still have pretty much zero free time so ya know, I don't know when new works will drop)

[mi-i-zori]

I - Retrieval of the Doll

CoD - TF141 (Soap's POV)

SUMMARY : Soap is used to fighting against monsters disguised as humans. But the world has changed. Creatures much more dangerous than humans are now threatening the order of things, and it's become his mission to Secure, Contain, Protect.

WARNINGS : None. Just a post apocalyptic setting.

Author's Note : Never thought I'd be brave enough to post this. But I hyper focused on SCP stuff for a while and was quite satisfied with this, and I thought it would be silly to let it rot in my files. So here you go.

I do not allow anyone to re-publish, re-use and/or translate my work, be it here or on any other platform, including AI.

CoD AUs - Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Next

As a joint, multi-national special operations and counter-terrorism military unit, Task Force 141 has been put in charge of many perilous missions. Its members, considered to be some of the best soldiers in the world, have seen their share of horrors ; a reality nobody could really imagine unless they saw it with their own eyes. Some people never even thought such nightmare-inducing experiences could ever happen. 

Which, in itself, could be seen as some sort of relief.

For it was those soldiers’ job to protect those who only wished to live in peace, away from the souls seeking a path of power and destruction. To get rid of the humans threatening their civilian peers. When you think yourself to be the ultimate predator, it is easy to forget you are not the only one sharing similar thoughts and acting to break their limits ; to achieve a twisted form of perfection, never caring about who they might end up crushing under the foundations of the world you dream of.

Nowadays, Mobile Task Force 141 isn’t too different from what it used to be - except the dangers they are brought to face are far from being human.

The world has changed. The security of this planet has been compromised, thus leading to an international review of every single safety measure made to preserve humanity itself, as well as the many environments it came to conquer, and sometimes lose.

It started with what is now known as the Covid-19 pandemic. When the year 2020 was littered with a seemingly never-ending amount of deaths, with some even trying to compare it to a list of other illnesses that once wrecked havoc around the world, such as the Black Death or the Great Influenza epidemic. It added a twisted dimension of resigned horror to the events everyone was going through. When the pandemic started to slow down, hopes of peace also came to rise.

But it didn’t take long for things to become much worse.

A year later, the global climate had fallen apart, and the world became colder every month. Snow started falling in Africa, covering even the Sahara in a layer of crystallized water. The icy plains covering the poles thickened and spread over miles, now covering an ever-growing surface nobody ever thought to be possible in such a short amount of time. All over the world, autumn and spring started to feel like winter, and summer like spring.

Only a few months were needed for a handful of researchers to find the source of all those changes : our planet had somehow broken out of its orbit, straying further and further away from the Sun. Even more surprising, a few other celestial bodies caught in our solar system, mainly those that circled the further away from our star like Pluto, seemed to be creeping closer at an unimaginable speed. 

It was theorized that these planets and the Sun’s gravitational pulls had changed drastically, leading our solar system to seemingly be thrown upside down ; although it would probably take some time before studies could yield a few reliable results. What was for certain, however, was that many were those who succumbed to the sudden waves of frost that assaulted the Earth. Humans, animals, plants - no one, and nothing, was spared. 

Yet on the other hand, the species that pushed through it all were found to have started to evolve quickly in subtle, unexpected ways. It gave the situation a fascinating, supernatural aspect - one that sparked hope in the hearts of those who tried their best to stay positive.

« Survival of the fittest », was how the situation started to be referred to by many. The media was partially to blame for such a frightening quote ; yet there was no denying the thought crossed everyone’s mind more than once.

But things didn’t stop there. The Frost in itself would have been bearable had humanity’s most important resources not suddenly started to collapse. 

The gargantuan platforms drinking petroleum from the ocean floors were the first to crumble. Waves akin to mountains crushed their pillars, sending gigantic shreds of ruined machinery to the not-so distant shores. The wails of those who ended up being torn apart by unknown forces were swept away by the winds. Some of their shredded silhouettes could also be spotted on the surface of beaches covered in crystals of salt. Areas that were soon to be declared « off-limits ».

Then sudden, violent earthquakes started to shake the entirety of the world. As one of their worst consequences, many underground gaz pockets started rupturing, their contents leaking over the surface ; mixing with the normally breathable air. Things happened too quickly for any previsions to be made, and many were those who succumbed to gaz poisoning or explosions before the most vulnerable areas could be properly evacuated. The gaz exploitations worldwide, as well as their workers, were the principal victims of these devastating events. 

And there was more. Roads, radio towers, internet relays and power lines kept being torn apart by waves upon waves of merciless winds. Tornadoes, hurricanes, blizzards and storms of all kinds unleashed their wrath upon solid ground, shredding rural towns and buzzing cities alike. The survivors were left with nothing, and sometimes no one. Communicating over long distances became a struggle in many places, and over time, repairs could hardly be seen as efficient. While lasting power outages and blocked-off roads became so common people started to learn how to live through them, they also became a source of anguish - for they often tended to be a symptom of imminent destruction.

Theories of all sorts have been shared to try and pinpoint the cause of it all, based on science, myths, urban legends and more - but a real answer has yet to be given.

At least, to the common masses.

A few years have passed since what has quickly been labeled as « the beginning of the end ». Although things seem to have settled a little bit, it doesn’t prevent any kind of chaos from surprising everyone once more. Despite the comfort they manage to preserve, humans are solely focused on survival, constantly building and rehabilitating underground shelters in the hopes they will be enough to protect them against the worst catastrophes. Recording every new event has become a way for people to help understand the origins and functioning of these innumerable changes. A desperate attempt to overcome the disasters they constantly unleash.

On his own smaller scale, Sergeant John « Soap » MacTavish quickly started to do the same, detailing them in a special notebook himself. Combining them with his own experiences, analysis and thoughts, he finds some comfort in the way it makes him feel grounded, standing on his feet despite the way reality keeps being thrown upside-down, the potential conflicts between what his job forces him to do and the new kinds of horrors he sees. Helps me stay sane, he repeats over and over when his teammates ask him what he is doing. Even though he lost count of how many times he has been caught off guard by how big the moon sometimes seems to be.

In his eyes, Mother Nature has officially labeled humanity as its target, and seems to do everything in its power to destroy it - piece by piece.

He is not the only one nurturing such thoughts. When his busy schedule allows him to turn on the TV standing in the common room of his barracks, the screen seems to constantly hold images of riots, interviews of crying faces and angry social media feeds - people blaming the biggest companies, governments or whatever name they can find to unleash their frustrations on. Fear, panic and despair spread everywhere in the world as people struggle to understand the cause of everything. Inside the military bases he is stationed on, keeping the morale up has become increasingly difficult. Tensions arise between those who dare voice their thoughts and the others who, usually coming back from deployment, only wish to find even the smallest ounce of peace, away from the exhausting violence of it all.

This is our reality now, is what every single person worldwide thinks as they are submitted to constant security measures on the daily - safety protocols meant both to protect their health, and keep any form of potential terrorism at bay. For many are those who try to take advantage of the chaos, finding power and satisfaction among the seemingly never-ending confusion.

Yet none of them knows anything about the real threat looming above their heads. 

Most of the time, Soap struggles to grasp what he sees. As a soldier, he has been trained to never question the orders he receives - and although his team has already gone rogue once or twice, which ended up being beneficial for many people, he makes sure to follow his Captain’s words. Yet he can’t deny the fact that his mind has a will of its own, constantly running over miles of thoughts whenever its owner takes a break. And when facing the things that now seem to crawl all over the world, he is unable to stop the questions from flowing.

Night had already fallen when the Researchers arrived to the military base. When they went to bed a few hours later, the soldiers of the 141 could hardly believe what they’d heard : detailed explanations about a new kind of intensive training to face otherworldy beings - some so powerful they became the real cause behind many of the current catastrophic events. They were sent off with a new schedule and bewildered thoughts about anomalies that have been roaming the surface of the Earth long before humanity came to exist. Creatures that have found a place among them all. Unimaginable threats a secret organisation had been dealing with for decades - perhaps even longer. 

And the terrifying knowledge that some of these creatures had « breached containment », as the lead researcher said.

Secure. Contain. Protect. 

Such is the mantra every single member of the SCP Foundation has engraved onto their very bones. The one that every single soldier now also has to follow.

Not so long ago, Soap went through a very different routine than the one he pushes himself through every day now that the Foundation has started working directly with the international forces. The daily list of questions he has to answer frequently changes, probably to prevent his brain from settling into a potentially dangerous pattern ; one that could easily be copied by an entity. And, for now, his answers remain practically the same every time. He can only pray it stays that way.

Even though he doesn’t really know who he should dedicate his prayers to anymore.

The thought has him curse lowly under his head-gear. He takes a second to readjust his mask, groaning as the rough edges carve trails of reddish discomfort on his cheeks. The unknown fumes that now litter the surface of certain areas of the world distort his surroundings like an intense heat would do the air. A part of him is grateful for how quickly the new generation of air-filters has been developed, allowing people like him to do their job without inhaling a lethal amount of poison in the span of a few minutes ; but the protection still weighs heavy on his jaw, held tightly by a series of straps that scrape against his scalp with each careful move of his head. Ignoring it isn’t easy, especially when the warmth of his own breath keeps wafting against his skin. He stopped counting the times his tongue darted out to wet his lips, the delicate skin tightening even more every time it dries up.

Secure. Contain. Protect.

Right.

And how are they supposed to do so when they barely have any idea of what exactly they have been sent to face ?

The sarcasm of his thoughts is cut abruptly when his Captain’s voice echoes through his earpiece.

« Soap, Ghost, how copy ? » 

« All ah can say is it’s been a while since ah’ve seen so much green in a city. » 

« Green that could hide our target. Stay sharp. »

« Aye, Sir. »

« Gaz, you still in position ? »

« Affirmative, Sir. Got your back. »

Treading through the ruins of what once was a small French town, now partially swallowed by the forest lining its borders, has proven to be quite the experience - one as fascinating as it is tense and tiring. Initially, the two areas did not share a border. They slowly grew to do so, until massive roots tore the concrete roads apart, and various - possibly mutated - plants greedily devoured both fields and buildings.

Johnny feels the mnestic drugs he took before the mission steel his mind from the potential antimemetic entity they’re chasing. He notices their effect in the way the details of his surroundings stay clear in a corner of his thoughts, as if he was constantly looking at them. The medicine reinforces his memory, preventing it from being erased should it be their target’s ability. 

In full honesty, they are not sure of its nature. They have have been led to take such precautions because of a few sightings that all seemed to circle around places with lots of information, such as computer stores, book stores, or other similar environments. Said environments being literal playgrounds for antimemetic entities.

What they are sure of, however, is that their target is far from being human, and could be extremely dangerous. And although they have been trained to face any kind of supernatural being, Soap can’t deny that this is far from the military operations they used to deal with. 

Sometimes, he misses the horrors of the past.

« Went around the electronics stores o’ the west central block, » says the gravelly voice of his lieutenant, both through the comms and behind him. « Didn’t see, hear or feel a thing. » 

« Copy that, Ghost, » Price answers. « Got nothin’ on our end either. Keep searching. »

Soap points to a grand building standing at the end of the street. Not far from him, Ghost nods, holding a finger to his earpiece.

« Found the library, » he announces.

« You goin’ in then ? »

« Affirmative. »

« Roger that. Be careful. »

« Aye, » Soap says, ending the conversation.

Like all the other buildings in this town, the library’s white walls and columns, built as a modern mimicry of the Ancient Greek temples, are being swallowed by countless strands of ivy. The small garden surrounding it has long gone haywire, nature reclaiming its rights with a series of colorful flowers and overgrown greenery. It gives the whole setting an undeniable charm, and Johnny wishes he could capture it in his sketchbook.

But they’re not here to play tourists.

« Ghost an’ Soap, goin’ dark. »

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CoD AUs - Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Noah Berlatsky at Everything Is Horrible:

A certain segment of the left on social media insists that a Trump win next week will force Democrats to change direction on Gaza.

Biden, in refusing to end military aid to Israel, is complicit in genocide. He has refused to listen to the left or to Palestinian voices; he has refused to be swayed by images of horrific atrocities in Gaza and now in Lebanon. Kamala Harris in her presidential run has refused to even contemplate ending military aid under any circumstances.   The only way to force them to reconsider, the argument goes, is to hand them a defeat in November. Once they realize that support for Israel is bad politics they will supposedly change direction. A Trump win will shift Israel policy to the left, and finally end the genocide at some point in the future, when (or if) Democrats get back into power. Many people have pointed out that this logic is not compelling in the short term. I think it’s worth pointing out, though, that it’s also incredibly dangerous on a longer time horizon. Fascist victories resonate for a very long time. In many respects, the current horror in Israel is the result of fascist victories past, which buttressed the ideology of ethnonationalism and undermined belief in the validity of diversity and peace. Fascism creates cycles of despair and hate, which then set the stage for more fascist victories, more despair, and more hate. Surrendering to fascism in the hope that fascism will somehow undermine itself is a poor strategy, to put it mildly.

Trump will be terrible on Gaza, and won’t make Democrats better

Again, other, smarter people than me have explained the problems with this logic in the immediate future. Journalist Mehdi Hasan has a devastating video reminder of Trump’s record on Palestine. Trump regularly uses the term “Palestinian” as a slur, his major donors are people like Miriam Adelson who wants Israel to annex the entire West Bank, he’s reprimanded Biden for not letting Netanyahu “finish the job” in Gaza (ie, kill everyone). He’s also promised to ban Palestinian immigration and deport pro-Palestinian supporters (including, quite possibly, I fear, ones who are US citizens.) Some voters may feel that even if Trump accelerates war crimes in Gaza, it still might be worth defeating the Democrats to teach them a lesson.

[...]

In fact, when fascists win, the message people tend to get is that fascism is popular and powerful and that therefore you should cater to fascists. Trump’s victory in 2016, and his continued prominence in Republican politics, is a big part of why Democrats have shifted right on immigration.

More, it’s worth remembering that Biden is president in no small part because Trump’s victory in 2016 made the Democratic party afraid of choosing a progressive leader. The party was desperate to win in 2020, and coalesced around Biden because, as a white male centrist, he seemed to present a moderate, unthreatening face for white male reactionaries in diners who, post Trump, were seen (even more) as the true, authentic voice of America.   Biden ended up governing significantly to the left of his previous record on many issues, including stimulus spending, labor, green energy, and antitrust. On Israel, however, Biden, a long time Zionist, has fulfilled the (ugly) tenets of his implicit 2020 promise to defeat Trump by not being too, too unTrump. In the first years of Biden’s presidency, he largely adopted Trump’s Middle East framework, pushing Arab states to normalize relations with Israel while ignoring equal rights and human rights for Palestinians. And when that Trumpy pathway led to predictable disaster on 10/7, Biden simply doubled down, providing Israel with all the weapons it needed for genocide.

Noah Berlatsky perfectly explains why a Donald Trump win will only set back the cause of fighting back against Israeli Apartheid and multiply the Gaza suffering even worse.

[landofanimes]

My 2024 Anime Watchlist

Anime (and related media) I watched last year

Sailor Moon Cosmos (2023)

After 10 years Crystal finally comes to an end! The 2-part movie is cool, it gives us an epic streak of final battles in the second part, things feel very grand and it brings emotion. The ending is oh so lovely. Also I was happy to see some things animated for the first time! That said…Most of it goes by too fast, specially in the first movie. Too many beloved characters have limited screentime, which really brings the arc down. I know these are problems from the manga too, but damn…This solidified to me that in the manga/crystal version of events, Dream Arc is more enjoyable. That’s not the case in the 90s anime, which butchered a good chunk of the Dream Arc but has the characters around much longer in Stars (yes I know screentime in a movie is obviously shorter, but still). I think in the end the musicals brings us a good balance of Stars. If only they had included the Sailor Quartet in those myus, they would feel complete. But anyway… this was it. Could Crystal have been better? Yes. Should it have been longer? Yep. But overall? I really enjoyed the whole thing through and I’m happy it was made! Just really wish the last two arcs were seasons instead of movies, but oh well...What a decade!

I watched subbed and dubbed. Brazilian dubs are usually great but a couple choices sadly kinda killed this one, just like in Eternal (somehow I thought this time it was worse but I think it's just that in Eternal I was happy to see it dubbed, since Crystal wasn't). Unless they redub it, I'll stick to the subs.

Kaleido Star (2003-04)

Sora is a Japanese girls who finally gets to live her dream of working as a trapeze artist on Kaleido Stage, a famous american circus. Every spectacle means new challenges and lots of hard work. But some people want to see her (and even the whole circus) failing...

I used to watch this as a kid! Finally sat down to watch the whole thing, and it’s a great show. It has cool characters and it’s very entertaining to see them training and performing new shows at the circus. However season 2 has some annoying characters, so season 1 is better. Except for the final arc, cause personally I found the end of season 2 much stronger than season 1, it was a great way to end the show (I could see people prefering the s1 ending, it just didn't hit me as hard). There are also a couple of OVAs. The first one is so-so, but the second is pretty cool and it’s a nice second ending.

Watched it dubbed (except for the 2nd OVA since there is no dub)

Yu Yu Hakusho Stage Plays (2019, 2020)

Picking up from last year's Yu Yu maraton, I've watched the stage plays! First one is really just the beginning: Yusuke dies, comes back as a spiritual detective, and we get the Three Youkai mini arc. We also see Kurama and Hiei's first meeting, like in Two Shots. The second play covers both the 4 Beasts castle and Yukina's rescue (they basically skip the training). Since Kurama and Hiei are not much in the second half, their actors get to play a side character each.

Sadly I don’t think these were very good. Sure, visuals are cool, the characters are well done, and they have their moments, but overall these plays were not it, imo. The bit where they play the opening song with a fighting montage is great though, very entertaining.

Rurouni Kenshin (1996-98)

Another from my childhood I hadn't seen in full! First two arcs are good, specially the second one (plus you can notice there’s some filler in the first, but it’s ok). Third part diverges from the manga and is mostly anime original stuff - and noticeably much weaker. If I ever rewatch it I'll stick to the first 2.

Watched it dubbed.

The Apothecary Diaries (2023-)

I had been hearing about it and decided to catch up in January. What a Good series! I was impressed. Maomao is a great character, the court intrigue is a thrill and I’m looking forward for a better understanding between her and Jinshi, and yes, rooting for actual romance. The series got drama, mystery and comedy, it’s great. Happy for the upcoming second season!

Subs cause the dub only came later.

7th Time Loop Season 1 (2024)

Rishe is stuck in a 5 year time loop that starts at the annulment of her engagement with the prince. No matter what profession and life she lives, it always ends during a war. 5 years into her 6th life she swordfights Emperor Arnold, from the neighbouring country, who is responsible for the war - and is killed by him. In her 7th loop, she soon meets Prince Arnold and he unexpectedely is smitten with her and proposes. After working hard in her previous lives, she is determined to finally relax and hopefully find out more about how the war starts, so she accepts. Ashis fiancée she soon notices Arnold is not completly cold as she expected, wondering what makes him go down that path.

I believe I saw some posts here and then I saw a clip of Rishe dealing with poison and so I decided to watch. I loved it! It was not quite what I was expecting, but rather better. Rishe is a delight and the whole mystery surrounding Arnold’s past and future, which lead them to the war seen in the previous loops, is very intriguing. I’m also captured by Rishe’s past jobs (merchant, harbalist, knight, etc), they’ve made her very resourceful. I really like the court day to day stuff and the drama, and the way she navigates all that. The dynamic of her knowing certain people from past loops but them not knowing her is always intriguing – and we get to know a little more about her this way too. And of course, I love her growing romance with Arnold!

I watched a bunch of dubbed episodes but then I caught up and the subs come faster, so.

Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End (2023-)

This one seemed to be a fan favorite of the season and well, I can see why…While 7TL and tAD are more my vibe, I can’t overlook Frieren. The way it presents grief, time, connection, and the mortality of people through the eyes of this seemly apathic elf is very touching. It made me cry a few times! It also has cool action. And of course, I can’t resist a good medieval fantasy setting. I’m not versed in rpg but even I can recognize some basic elements, it’s pretty cool.

Watched it dubbed!

From Studio Ghibli

Only Yesterday (1991) - This one is pretty slow, contemplative. It’s also a little boring imo... I can see its value, but it’s not really for me. Subs cause there is no dub.

The Cat Returns (2002) - I didn’t intend to watch this one but changed my mind at some point. It’s pretty fun! Not sure what I expected but it wasn’t this haha I quite liked it!! Subs cause there is no dub.

The Tale of the Princess Kaguya (2013) - This is a pretty long one, and the different artstyle threw me off at first, I thought I might not like it... I finally got  to watch it though, and not only it is not boring, but it is visually very pretty. It could have ranked high but I didn’t vibe with the ending, so. I could see it being other people’s favorite though. Watched it dubbed.

Earwig and the Witch (2020) - This one’s got a bad reputation but I thought it was fine. Like sure, this 3D animation did not capture that Ghibli charm, but the character design does seem on point and I thought it  had an interesting setting. Overall I liked it, even though the ending is rather anticlimactic. Things shift abruptly and are over soon after, leaving some stuff unresolved too (I imagine there would be a sequel). It was still entertaining though. Watched it dubbed.

The Boy and the Heron (2023)

I think this was the first time I watched a Ghibli movie in cinemas! It’s a good film. Not among my Ghibli favorites, but it would rank in the upper half. I'm sure it's other people’s favorite. I think the relationship with the stepmom could have been better developed, but it's still cool. The crazy, whimsical world kinda reminded me of Spirited Away at times. It's got that Miyazaki balance of weird and wonder, with a rather unique mythology and intriguing characters.

I wanted to watch it dub but there were limited screenings and the day I went had only subs.

Buddy Daddies (2023)

A duo of assassins with very different backgrounds and personalities are sent to kill a criminal. The mission is accomplished, they just didn't expect him to have a little daughter. Now they have to figure out how to take care of a child.

I heard good things about this one - and I loved it! I wish it had been longer, I believe it could easily fill 20 something episodes, but oh well… The trio is very endearing, their dynamics are great.

Subs cause no dub.

Yona of the Dawn Season 1 (2014-15)

Princess Yona has to flee her castle with her chidlhood friend/bodyguard Hak after her beloved cousin, Soo-Won murders her father. While searching for the four legendary dragon warriors to help them reclaim the kingdom, Yona finds out her people have been suffering for years, and feels it is her duty to help them.

I was honestly surprised to see this series is already TEN years old. I remember people talking about it but I didn't remember it had been this long? Maybe I heard of it afterwards? Maybe not…Anyway. This series is great. I didn’t expect it to be so good. It’s an epic (east asian) medieval fantasy! It’s got drama, adventure, action, and I’m looking forward to the romantic plot development with Hak. It’s cool to see Yona growing from sheltered princess to a warrior. I’m honestly shocked they never made a second season, like, wtf. Fortunately they’ve started selling the manga in here, and I’ve been following it! Good stuff. I wish I could watch the plays, but specially the musical. Oh, I'm saving the OVAs for when I reach the respective manga chapters.

Subs cause no dub

Snow White with the Red Hair Seasons 1-2 (2015-16)

This one is also medieval fantasy, has plenty of drama, and while it does have action and adventure, it’s not so much in the epic side - it’s more…mundane? I mean sure, it’s got court intrigues, swordfights, and there’s a kidnapping at one point and whatnot… But the vibes are more on the quieter, lovelier side? It’s cool to see Shirayuki’s journey in becoming a great herbalist while Zen trains in his princely duties and how they both fight to be together despite the obstacle of their different status (something which worries Zen's older brother and other influential people). Their friends also form a cool cast. Wish there were more seasons, but the ones we got are good. I’m not even mad at the misleading title cause the only reason I remembered its existence and watched it was because years ago I saw there was a Snow White anime. Alas, this has close to nothing to do with Snow White, but it’s so good I don’t even care. 

Subs cause no dub

Spy x Family - Code: White (2023)

Yes it’s filler but it’s fun! Plus it's not like Spy x Family plot moves fast anyway... So here we got a little winter trip in search of a recipe (for the Mission!!!) turned into a crazy kidnapping and rescue as Loid and Yor separately go after Anya…it’s action-packed, whacky and fun! It’s Spy x Family!!! There are also a couple of cute Twiyor/family moments, which I love, of course. It’s a good pastime. Bring me season 3!

Watched it dubbed at the cinema!

A Sign of Affection Season 1 (2024)

A lovely show! It’s about the daily life of a deaf college-age girl, and her new romance with a guy who loves to travel, and how her world expands when meeting him and other people in college. I think most school settings stories I see are in high school or middle school so this is a nice change.

Watched it dubbed

Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury (2022-23)

People talked so much about this one I had to give it a go. The only Gundam series I had contact with before was Gundam Wing (watched some assorted episodes as a kid), so I thought that would be the first one I watched in full, but I still haven't done it, oops. And now I’ve seen Gundam Witch! Intriguing developments and characters! Deals with some serious issues, which apparently is an usual Gundam thing. It has some cool dynamics and the queer romance is cute, it has a good arc. The show is not quite my jam, so not a favorite, but it’s a good show, felt solid.

Watched it dubbed

My Happy Marriage (2023-)

Miyo lives in a Cinderella situation until she is engaged to Kyoka, a rich guy with a bad reputation… In a society where powerful  families have superpowers, she’s got none, so her family wants to get rid of her…The poor thing lives with no affection and the guy is desensitized to previous fiancées chasing his status, but then he sees that’s not the case and is decided to treat her well AND to stand up to her family. Oh, and it’s got an historical setting. Also Kyoka is part of the special forces which fight evil spirits or something. He controls elements. I gotta say I was not expecting that kind of action in a Cinderella-esque story, ha! It was a good addition. It's kinda tough to see Miyo so meek, but it's key to see she is not magically cured after the engagement, she still struggles from the abuse of her family, but with help, little by little she gains more confidence, which is lovely to see. She also finds her own way of helping Kyoka herself, the end of the season really makes it stronger. I don't think it's gonna be a favorite of mine, but it IS good. Season 2 incoming!

Watched it dubbed

My Happy Marriage Movie aka As Long as We Both Shall Live (2023)

The movie is basically a compressed version of what we see in season 1. As such, it is definitely inferior to the animated version, but it’s okay... Like, it has its moments but overall it really doesn't hit the same. I would say it has all the important bits of the first half of the season, but a lot of the second half is lost.

Shaman King: Flowers Season 1 (2024)

I was entertained, I wanted to see more of the kids and their dynamics (and more of their parents), and I wish they would continue it…But I don't know, it's got some odd choices. Granted, it's a short season, if it had been longer it might have been more charming/intriguing. For example, Ren's son is the last to join so we don't see a lot of him, which is a shame. I also thought it was going to be a complete story but turns out the Flowers manga was continued in Super Star, and the season we got was really just Flowers…Also I still think it would have been a better investment to use the money to improve on the Shaman King remake, but anyway. I wonder if they will ever continue it.

Watched it dubbed

Saint Seiya: Knights of the Zodiac Season 3 (2024)

This was about the same level as season 2 I guess. It was cool but still not even close to the original series. It has its moments, but parts of it are too quick, there’s a lack of stronger soundtracks to enhance the scenes, etc. The original content was interesting enough, but we had so little time it would have been better to use it on canon events... or at least parts of it. I would watch more if they made it but it seems they’re going to stop this version in this arc – and I get it, like I said, its really not as good as it should/could be. I’m glad they finished it though, it would have been a bummer to see the arc only halfway done. I hope we don’t have to wait too many years until a new saint seiya anime…also I wonder what it will be.

Watched it dubbed

Delicious in Dungeon (2024-)

Everybody couldn’t shut up about it so I had to watch it XD yes, yes, it’s good! Well made rpg-esque medieval fantasy setting. It’s got plenty of comedy, and the story is pretty different from the usual stuff… It wasn’t until things started to get serious that it really got me though, like halfway through the season. From what I’ve heard, it should be done by season 2. I'll be there to watch it!

Watched it dubbed

Sailor Moon: Musical Festival Chronicle (2022)

Finally could watch this one, yay!!! Story-wise it's not really impressive, but then again this one is more of a celebration of myu history than anything else. Cool to see the old numbers back, lovely to see Satomi’s guest appearance and, of course, the BANDAI MYU team, hooray!!!! Oh and we could see more of Riona’s Mamoru too! Since The Super Live full recording was never released, we don’t have much of that, so this is nice.

I honestly thought this would be the end of the myu/moon renaissance, but after the announcement of the long run of the new Super Live in London, I'm not so sure! But alright, let's not get ahead of ourselves...

Ranma ½ (2024-)

Ranma’s return!!!! Its been rather fun to follow Ranma and Akane’s shenanigans again. I’m glad I watched the og anime a few years ago!!! I hope they get to adapt the manga until the end this time (I’ve never read it myself). Waiting for season 2!!!

Watched it dub (I’m so happy Netflix got the cast back!!!)

[youremyheaven]

hey! kind of off topic but i'm about to finish my rahu mahadasha that i've been in for almost my whole ass life and i'd like to share some of the things i experienced during it. it's not all bad of course, but i personally have found it very hard and if i had seen more people talk about the ugly side of the transit, i think it would've given me a lot of comfort!

(small disclaimer i'm like Pretty Sure these things are caused by the transit based off what i know about rahu, but of course they could be from something else, i'm not an expert at astrology so this stuff is mostly anecdotal. also, my rahu is in pisces in the 11th)

1. Moving and travelling a LOT. not necessarily a bad thing, but as i went into this transit at 3 years old, i never really had a "childhood home" because we moved genuinely every year and sometimes multiple times a year. i think i've moved 12 times since 2020 across cities and countries. on the more positive side, i have gotten to travel a LOT in my life, all across europe and south america, as well as every corner of my home country.

2. TREMENDOUS issues in schooling. i've heard rahu can cause issues with schooling, but oh my gosh i didn't think it would be THAT hard. from the very day i started preschool i hated every second of schooling, the teachers, other kids, the work itself, just absolutely everything about the schooling experience. it got so bad that i started homeschooling in grade 7 due to the anxiety about just... everything. it's almost hard to explain, but just the thought of merely being in a school makes me sick.

3. excelling at foreign languages. not to toot my own horn, but i have always had a knack for learning languages. since i was homeschooled, i had lots of freedom to learn what i wanted at my own pace (which is the silver lining with my school issues), and i always gravitate towards language learning! i'm fluent in two languages, and proficient in 2 more. for a while, my main hobby was learning/decoding other alphabets.

4. social isolation/difficulty . now i'm aware rahu isn't typically associated with isolation like ketu is, so this is mostly anecdotal. since it's in my 11th house, i feel like it's hindered my ability to make friends. however, the friends i do have are foreign to me and majority live in a different country. so again, double edged sword. i definitely had major social isolation issues from ages 12-17. like borderline agoraphobia. and after that when i did make friends, i often found they turned out to be somehow not what i thought (rahu and his love for deception 🙃)

5. mental issues. from what i've read, rahu is associated with obsessive behaviour and delusions. i have ocd, autism, and struggle with anxiety. as a child, i also had frequent nightmares and would have inexplicable paranoia at night as well as a fear of the dark (which i still have at 21 lol)

6. things just not working out. kind of a vague statement i know, but as rahu can decieve you about what you want, i've found so much of my time being wasted by trying new hobbies or meeting new people or trying new lifestyles just for them to straight up fail or turn out to be way worse than what i thought. an example of this would be when i was ~12 i started ballet thinking i was gonna love it and it would be so awesome, but it gave me an eating disorder (obsessive tendencies yk) and i was also ostracized by the teachers and other kids.

those are some of the things i experienced, again it hasn't been the worst per se (especially compared to what certain dashas can do to you lorddd) but as i said i was really confused for a while about what the heck was going on with my life since my rahu dasha was allegedly supposed to be so good, and knowing the darker side of it would've definitely given me some understanding <3

tysm for sharing your experiences, i hope it helps others who are going through similar times <333

people remark on how 'critical' i am of planets/nakshatras or how 'dark' the things i talk about are but truth be told, wouldn't you rather know? i think i trigger the shadow of many people because they want to believe darkness does not reside within every single planet and nak and no one is exempt from behaving a certain way.

to anybody reading, dont be afraid of difficulties and darkness, its a part of life, certain dashas can be vv tough but true purification of that planet's energies is achieved through overcoming challenges associated with it. ride the waves that come your way.