#somehow they interpreted that as us being weak

[beautiful-songbird]

I just need to let y’all know that the last year I played soccer (I was twelve) my team’s jersey color was this deep maroon and I instantly thought royalty when I saw it and suggested we name our team the Warrior Princesses and my teammates ran me into the ground with mockery for implying we were princesses

Basically I was a nerd and they were not (I guess?) and I still stand by what I said. We should’ve been the Warrior Princesses.

[lotties-ashwagandha]

(headcanons) dating lottie matthews includes…

written for @cassioo and everyone else in a rage after episode four! adult timeline in mind.

⬦ going to the farmers market together!!! even when she doesn’t have the wellness center. she just wants to walk around and maybe take everything home with her, and when everyone asks where her wellness center is she tells them that it’s temporarily shut down (she WILL be rebuilding it somehow in some way).

⬦ if you’re into it she’ll also take you on morning dates where you grab coffee somewhere and then go into little crystal stores. she will buy a new tarot deck and ask you to help her pick it out, and she will spend an insane amount of money on crystals (because they’re EXPENSIVE nowadays) both for herself and for you if you see anything you want to pick up. i can see her being really into the jewelry pieces those places sell too, she likes being able to have crystals on her but in a way that she can wear to be aesthetic. she mixes and matches different crystals for whatever energy she wants to bring into each day and has a few different pieces of jewelry for each of her favorite crystals so she can accessorize however she wants.

⬦ sorry I’m obsessed with lottie and tarot bc i’ve been getting back into tarot lately and also @chaithetics put the lottie tarot idea in my head in her comments on this post SO i have to say. lottie teaching you tarot AARGHH or if you already know how to read tarot you give each other readings. discussing how you read certain cards and the differences in card interpretations between you (because tarot is SO specific to the individual when it comes to card interpretations). pulling the lovers card! and on that note I think lottie would be into doing readings about your relationship with you as well, both of you sitting down and asking the cards about strong and weak points in your relationship. it’s a good way to open up communication together.

also. I need someone to make a yellowjackets tarot card deck. PLEASE. hear me out: lottie as the high priestess, natalie as the moon, akilah as temperance, mari as strength, taissa and van as the lovers, the wilderness as judgement, misty as the magician, and so on.

⬦ double dates with taissa and van!!! you go and do some gay shit like wine tastings or museum visits and van gets you all kicked out of the art museum because she starts touching paintings.

⬦ binge watching lottie’s reality tv shows! she gives you everyone’s backstories and lore if you’re watching something that you haven’t seen yet but she has. you make it into a whole event, you have the dates marked on the calendar for when new seasons drop of your favorite reality shows. i suspect when lottie had the cult she still had a tv in her cabin so she could watch them. anyway it makes for fun at home dates together, think season three episode two with misty and callie except neither of you get drugged out like misty or throw up on the kitchen counter!

⬦ shopping dates! shoplifting perhaps. you’re going into the mall and coming out with beautiful clothes and home decor, whether you pay for it all or not is for you to decide. im looking the other way. lottie would love to spend her money on you though as she does have quite a lot of it, she loves for everything in her life to be elegant and taken care of very nicely and that’s something that would extend to you as well.

⬦ that would also mean spa dates, or going to get your nails done together. if you don’t typically get your nails done she still takes you with her because she wants you to pick her nail polish.

⬦ she explains all of her herbs and supplements and such to you, her ashwagandha and her maca root, and teaches you what each is used for and why. she wants to be able to share that with you, especially if she doesn’t have her wellness center anymore and people with similar knowledge aren’t as easily found. i think in general she would love being with someone willing to learn about her practices, she wants to show you what she believes in because it is so special to her and she wants to share that love of it with you.

⬦ mornings with her! i feel like lottie leans toward being a morning person, most of her energy comes in the morning, but she does appreciate the luxury of having lazy mornings now and then. being able to wake up with you and having the luxury of holding each other in the morning. it grounds her to be able to wake up and be centered in a routine as well — i can see her having a scheduled morning meditation or journaling routine or something else to help keep her centered starting off the day. sometimes she lets you help her braid her hair, too.

⬦ nights with her would be tranquil, too, but in a different way. in the morning the peace comes in preparation for the energy of the day, but at night there’s a new relaxation to being together. you cook dinner together, new recipes you find. and random thought but when you go to bed she is the little spoon. fight me.

that’s it :) LOVE YOU SEE YOU NEXT TIME! season three episode four isn’t real. and I did not kill lottie matthews :( all of you and your dirty accusations. bah! no taglist btw this time I’m insecure about my headcanon quality.

[sorcave]

After spending some time thinking about Peter Pettigrew, I’ve realized there’s a huge disconnect between how he’s portrayed in canon and how the fandom—especially within Marauders fanon—handles him. Let me preface this by saying, I get it. The Marauders era is filled with beloved, tragic characters like Sirius, Remus, and James, who are all charismatic in their own ways. It’s easy to frame Peter as the villain, the weak link in the group, because, well, he is the one who betrays them. But I can’t help feeling like fanon’s interpretation of him has become deeply flawed and even unfair in its simplification of his character.

Peter Pettigrew, as written in the books, is actually a much more complex figure than the rat-betrayer caricature that fanon often makes him out to be. He’s not some mustache-twirling villain, nor is he just a pathetic hanger-on who was lucky to be in the Marauders’ circle. If you really pay attention to the way his character is written, he’s someone who’s constantly underestimated by the people around him, including the very friends he ends up betraying. He’s not powerful in the traditional sense, but his cunning is what allows him to survive the chaos of two wizarding wars. He’s not a mastermind, sure, but he’s resourceful in a way that deserves more recognition than he gets. Canonically, it’s clear that he isn’t just bumbling around until he stumbles into Voldemort’s arms—he’s making calculated choices, and we need to give those choices the weight they deserve.

This brings me to why I think fanon’s insistence on reducing Peter to a one-dimensional villain is so misguided. There's this huge trend in Marauders fandom where Peter is either villainized beyond recognition or, worse, completely written out of the story. He’s often replaced in fanon with a random “better” Marauder, or he’s ignored entirely, as if his betrayal somehow disqualifies him from being part of the story. And here’s the thing: canon compliance isn’t a crime! In fact, canon gives us a far more interesting story. The tragedy of Peter’s betrayal is that he was their friend—he shared their dorm, their secrets, and their history. His actions were not driven by some inherent evil but by fear, survival instincts, and yes, cowardice. It’s a much richer narrative than reducing him to a monster.

In the fandom, there’s often this hyperfocus on moral purity when it comes to the Marauders, especially when it comes to ships and rewriting dynamics. Peter, however, disrupts that neat narrative, so fanon tries to erase him to preserve the integrity of the fan-created relationships. But that oversimplifies everything. Why should we villainize people for sticking to canon when canon is, arguably, what makes the Marauders’ story so compelling in the first place? The fall of the Marauders—this group of young, talented, promising boys—hinges on Peter’s betrayal. You can't just ignore that without losing a fundamental piece of what makes their story so tragic. He’s not a random character you can swap out. He’s the pivot point.

Peter’s character also raises some interesting discussions about how we view heroism and villainy in fandom spaces. For instance, we’re often quick to forgive other characters—Sirius, for all his bravado, is reckless and cruel to people like Snape, but we don’t hold it against him in the same way. We empathize with his trauma, his tragic backstory. So why is it that Peter, who is also a product of his circumstances, is written off? He wasn’t born evil; he was shaped by the same war that shaped all of them, but his path led him to make different choices. There’s something so fascinating about exploring how someone who was once a friend could betray everything. It’s a conversation about human flaws, not just villainy.

And yes, in a world full of Marauders fan content, it’s fine to like your AUs or write your fix-its. But let’s not pretend that sticking to canon, and appreciating Peter for the complex character he is, is somehow less valid. The fandom would benefit from looking at Peter as more than just “the betrayer” and instead as someone who, like everyone else in the story, is a deeply flawed person whose mistakes have devastating consequences. That makes the story richer, more painful, and ultimately, more meaningful.

forgive me for the ramble but Im going insane with my term paper and my thesis, unfortunately I've been diving too deep into the marauders again

[teh-nos]

fandom goes into deep denial about the attempted infanticide of baby loki because the imperialism reading of it works against the text and requires that the baby be stolen not abandoned, and that this theft be for the most nefarious and imperialist purposes we can think of. whereas actually - and i was going to say this is 'the obvious parallel' but no it's not even a parallel it's what's clearly happening there - the baby's been left out to die for being disabled hasn't he?

the word 'runt' gets used but adult loki compared to other frost giants is not just slightly on the small side, he's probably equivalent to a human with dwarfism, which definitely brings this into Infanticiding The Disabled Child territory. which a) laufey cannot be allowed to do because that's a fucked up and horrible thing to do* b) we also can't allow that odin just kept that baby because by asgardian standards there was no obvious disability there. (the social model of disability, but with giants and less-giants**) "why would you be throwing out this baby, laufey? it looks normal-sized. it doesn't even have an unusual number of limbs. yeah, i am taking this baby as a friend for my similarly-sized bio-son. mine now. finders keepers." i point this out because the disabled baby is not saved by someone thinking disability-based infanticide is wrong - at least not necessarily so - but by being found by someone who doesn't recognise the supposed problem. to whom it simply does not exist.

and of course fandom loves sad little feeble loki being weak and pathetic in fic, but i have somehow never seen this tied to the fact that he is canonically undersized for his species and likely has some connected internal fuckery going on with his organs. we have no idea what made him that small or what it'd do and - here's the fun kicker for you angst fans! - probably nobody on asgard would either. when's the last time any of them had to look after even an entirely able-bodied jotun? how likely is it that they can just write off to jotunheim to say "hey what's up with that kid your king tried to murder? how would we fix him if he lived here? yeah, our king kept him. no, we didn't eat the baby! can we borrow a medical textbook? what do you mean you don't have paper there. well how do you write down how the orientalist belly-dancer outfits are to be worn? well then how... no, come back. did you just hang up on a letter???"

sorry, i digressed. what i was aiming for was that there is a very obvious reason why loki might be unusually weak for a lad who looks healthy to us and who doesn't seem any smaller or less able-bodied than the people around him, but i just don't see it being deployed in fic or in meta or whatever. is this because the 'laufey just left his baby out for some fresh air like norwegians do' reading kind of relies on that baby not being seen as a burden to be got rid of and we all kind of agree that... no. no, i shall not finish that thought. it is too depressing. it probably is that though isn't it?

anyway. this is me wondering what is up with that. other than maybe some kind of 'echo-chamber effect' where even the wildest ideas can become commonly-held fanon and where it'd be easy to just straight-up ignore a very obvious implication of baby-murdering because someone leaving you to just fucking die for being disabled is somehow not enough oppression for a blorbo in these enlightened times. or because it breaks a popular fandom interpretation of events. or something like that?

*in fairness i'd say humans from earth are probably within the group that's allowed to just not care about humans from earth getting invaded and killed.

**i say 'less-giants' because look:

look at this literal giant among men. tiny scrawny little thing, so smol and so freakishly tall to the humans. i call this 'the social model of smolness.'

[darkietrashcan]

Analysis on Katsuki’s Ending

Spoilers for the end of the manga and leaks of volume 42

Long analysis thread:

I am devastated because of the leaks

Because of Katsuki.

His journey throughout the story consisted about taking accountability for his mistakes: the bullying he did.

And oh, he did learn. He did take accountability.

From win to save, he learned to save to win. He helped Izuku train OFA. Got impaled and saved Izukus life.

Then, he apologized without expecting an answer, because he meant it. Katsuki understood that Izuku didn’t have to respond. (Seriously, what would he say? Thank you for taking accountability for making myself miserable during highschool?) Izuku left that past behind ever since he took the “Deku is worth nothing” and rephrased it to: the Deku who can do his best. What I most like about his apology, is that Deku didn’t answer, and Bakugo didn’t demand nor expected one, because it wasn’t necessary. It was Bakugo’s thing to do.

Then, Katsuki died while thinking about him, because Izuku went from the kid he pushed away, to a man he admired:

Fighting through the pain: this is the path you have been walking all this time.

I have to win, right, Izuku?

Can I still catch up to you?

Then, he got another chance at life. He promised that he would never get in between his way, recalling the times he used to bully him.

Here is what makes me weak for him. The way he never forgived himself for what he did. Katsuki was linked to Izuku forever with that way of thinking and acting: although he apologized and walked forward, he never forgot what he did. And he atoned and atoned and atoned. Which isn’t bad. Don’t get me wrong.

But everyone has to move on: he apologized. got impaled for him. And then, much later, built Izuku a suit. HE, of all people, the one who used to bully Deku for being quirkless, gave him his dream BACK.

That’s another fact that makes me weak. Because Bakugo’s heart changed: he believed quirkless people were losers. He bullied. Now, he understands his mistakes and has tried to atone for so, so long. He is not the same and will never do that again.

(What about his foul mouth? You could ask. Man. That is literally a façade. Or that’s how I interpret it. Bark don’t bite. Bro is a dumbass, but is not a bad person.)

All this leads me to the dream he made for himself and Izuku in it: to compete forever. He never cut the link to Izuku. Never got over him. Never stopped atoning.

To sum up: it hurts me that after so much atoning for Izuku, he never atoned for himself. He just got attached to him, revolved his life to Izuku.

Izuku did move on: life makes you walk different paths. He found something in teaching that, clearly, topped off his desire to compete with his childhood friend. He moved on. Remember: 8 years have gone by. Izuku moved on from OFA but Katsuki DIDN’T!

And that’s why his ending hurts. Because he never let go. And that makes me so, so, so sad.

In twitter some say it’s karma. Deku doesn’t have to stick to him for his entire life and I agree: I am happy for Izuku and the path he forged to walk. A new dream. A new person. Not the 17 year old he was.

But Katsuki never let go of the dream he built at 17 and always knew that he would ensure Izukus his dream back. (While Izuku didnt know it would happen so he moved forward…)

Izuku is noble and wants to keep teaching, he has kids to motivate and yada yada. It’s amazing how he has evolved as a character and as an adult. His dream isn’t the same as Katsuki’s anymore. Not the same 17 year olds wanting to compete for the rest of their lifes.

And now, cut to the present. Izuku rejects Katsuki because his dream has changed.

I do believe Izuku recognized Bakugo’s efforts. He has said he is welcome and appreciates the suit!!!! He is happy to be able to fight alongside class 1A!!! this dialogue seems to be forgotten somehow!! My point is: their goals are different now. Izuku moved away from OFA once he lost it / Bakugo never forgot it and kept fighting for it building a suit, that Izuku is thankful for! But seems like competing w his childhoodfriend isnt his main goal anymore

And this change didnt happen quickly because there has been a timeskip! Of 8 years!

However, readers believe it was rushed because all that introspection was cut. I don’t blame you, in fact, I agree with you all. An elypsis wasn’t the right choice to make, but how could have Horikoshi finished the manga!? He cant keep drawing forever! This mangaka was suffering the last year, taking a lot of breaks because his health was in shambles. Therefore, a timeskip it was. But maybe not the best choice to the story, I guess.

But stories sometime need to be concluded. Cant keep holding on for them forever. You can blame it on writing decisions. Anyway, let’s get back to the main point.

The ending hurts from Katsuki’s perspective because he got rejected, because he never let Izuku go. And now, he has a chance to. To develop himself as a man separate of Izuku.

As a shipper it hurts like hell, but man. Katsuki did love him. Take it as romantic or platonic i dont care. But Katsuki cared. A lot. Izuku, I am sure that too. But rejecting the offer doesn’t mean he hates him or is a bad person: he never asked for that suit, he reshaped his dream.

And I repeat. The truth hurts. Reality hurts. And still, this ending was… truly realistic, from their point of view. In that manner, it satisfies me. But on the other hand, as a fan, as a shipper, a fanfiction writer, the ending hurts and I will cope with fan content on my behalf.

The ending wasn’t ass. It was realistic. That’s my take.

(I won’t talk about Izuocha. I do believe it was rushed and off. That’s for another post. Pls don’t talk about Izuocha in this post since they are not the main focus)

[ryin-silverfish]

Heart and Mind: An Analysis of Tripitaka

I've been wanting to write this since…since I came across some good ol' Tripitaka discourse in the LMK fandom ages ago. Couldn't remember the specifics, but as y'all probably know, it falls under the "Is him an abusive master" and people's strongly worded retort to that question.

On one hand, I dislike the "abusive" take because so often, it is an excuse to reduce a character to an 2D caricature for cheap angst purposes, and both JTTW and its historical context deserve more nuances than that.

On the other hand, I don't agree with some of the defenses either——that Tripitaka is Kind and Wise and The Virtuous Monk, Actually, and people who said otherwise just had their views colored by adaptations, or were ignorant westerners misreading the book.

Because trust me, Chinese readers absolutely have gripes with Tripitaka too, and sass him mercilessly.

We may have a better idea of the historical context, namely, the common usage and acceptance of corporal punishments, but quite a few of us don't think he's a good Buddhist either.

Instead, I'd like to focus on his allegorical role, and how it ultimately forms the basis for my interpretation of his character.

It is commonly acknowledged that each pilgrim represent an aspect of the enlightenment seeker: Monkey is the Mind, Dragon Horse the Will, Pigsy the Desire, Sandy the Determination/Ideation.

Tripitaka is either the enlightenment seeker as a human, or the Heart, the Compassion.

But how can someone represent Compassion when his behaviors don't look all that compassionate, when he seems to care more about what a good Buddhist looks like on paper than in spirit?

How can a compassionate man punish his disciple with a migraine spell and disown him twice, be okay with some violence but not others?

Well, to answer that question, I feel like you have to look at Tripitaka in conjunction with SWK, and what the monkey represents. He is literally the Mind Monkey, the boundless potential of human intellect, and that, by itself, is neutral.

In the word of one of the best poems in JTTW:

"He could be good; he could be bad; present good and evil he could do at will. He'd be an immortal, a Buddha, if he's good; wickedness would cloak him with hair and horn."

To put it simply, SWK is one's wits, one's problem-solving skills, the ability to discern good and evil on a cognitive level.

Whenever Tripitaka, the Compassion, is deceived, it falls to the Mind to see the opponents as they are, and take action to protect the human from harm.

But just as blind compassion without judgement can be exploited by evil, the reverse is true for a mind without compassion, driven solely by their own ambition and whims and practical knowledge.

The Mind knows that robbery is a crime, so these robbers deserve death, but has no idea how disturbing it is for a regular guy to witness six people being brutally murdered in front of him.

The Mind knows that abandoning your wife and family to become a bandit is shameful and unfilial, but cannot comprehend why the bandit's father may not want his son killed for these offenses.

The Mind knows right and wrong, but has trouble seeing the human behind those acts, and why one should care in the first place.

And to see what the Mind looks like without any of Compassion's restraint, one needs to look no further than SWK's "Second Mind", the Six-eared Macaque.

Just like how "Heart" sounds like a lame power for a character, Compassion isn't flashy, nor as useful in a strictly ultilitarian sense. In fact, having compassion makes you vulnerable. It hurts. And unscrupulous people will absolutely use it against you.

So why hold onto your weakness and wallow in it? The world doesn't need another sanctimonious wuss, it needs strong, clever people making hard sacrifices, ruthless, logical decisions! Tough up! Stop caring, and you'll never be hurt again!

Much like a certain crowd who think basic human decency is somehow political propaganda, perhaps, when SEM struck Tripitaka, he was trying to do the same thing.

Kill the embodiment of compassion, the sniveling, useless, fragile human that keeps holding SWK back. Replace him as the true Mind, the one strong enough to break all bonds and seize glory with his own two hands.

But without compassion, without humanity, one is no longer a whole person, and cannot reach enlightenment. In fact, just like how Buddha would only give the True Scripture to Tripitaka, if you are not brave enough to make yourself vulnerable, to suffer and feel other's suffering, you will never transcend it.

At best, you can have some pale imitations of the parts you have willingly shut out from yourself.

And that's what SEM does. He thought he could do it on his own, singlehandedly replace SWK and reap the benefits of enlightenment, but he is no Monkey Awakened to Emptiness.

He is just empty; cut off desires because it is base, cut off determined ideation because it is foolish, cut off compassion because it is weak, cut off the altruism and curiosity and creativity from the mind, and you are left with a grand total of NOTHING.

A shadow of a self, desperately clinging onto external validation and stolen stories, reading the pilgrim's travel paperwork out loud as if that would actually make the journey his.

Tripitaka needs to trust SWK and learn from him, because compassion, much like good intention, doesn't solve problems on its own, and mercy is not the same as enabling harm.

SWK needs his master's guidance, because even at his most selfish and impulsive, he cares, and only by extending that care to others and accepting the vulnerability that comes with it can he truly mature and become awakened to the ultimate truth.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

One last bit of ramble: I feel like there is something to be said about Tripitaka's tendency to trust Pigsy, and how the pursuit of enlightenment is often derailed by worldly desires.

Unlike the demons they encountered, however, Pigsy is not the personification of mental obstacles that must be destroyed, because you cannot destroy bodily needs, nor the very human tendencies to slack off and avoid trouble.

You should stop listening to its advice, sure. Poke fun at it, absolutely. But what Pigsy represents is part of the human condition, just like every other pilgrim, and also something one must make peace with.

[choccy-milky]

bruh i need to vent about a rude comment i got on my recent chap and also about clora, cuz its something thats been on my mind for a while now. it has spoilers to my most recent chap tho so im putting it below

so in my most recent chap clora gets hit by the killing curse but thanks to seb sacrificing himself for her, it doesn’t work/she survives. and I got a rly rude comment about how that’s super cringe and that clora is a "shoe horning of every possible manifestation of Mary-Sueism I have ever seen." theyre dropping my fic after almost 500k words bc apparently THAT’S where they draw the line and that "just somehow pulling it out the bag and surviving a killing curse from the power of love. In simpler terms, it’s absolutely cringe worthy" and "forgive me if I rolled an eye at the yet again invincible nature of Clora Clemons-the-one-eighth-Veela-extraordinaire"

BUT LIKE LMAO TELL ME U DIDN’T READ/WATCH HARRY POTTER WITHOUT TELLING ME. that’s literally what happens to harry??but its only cringe when it happens to our "mary-sue" clora? like yeah sure love magic might be a bit cringe but IM LITERALLY JUST PULLING FROM THE SOURCE MATERIAL. of all the things to take issue with in my fic and interpretations, theyre taking issue with something that’s canon BAHAHA.

and since im on the topic of clora being mary sue can I just say I hate the misogyny/internalized misogyny that i've seen some people (NOT A LOT, THANKFULLY) treat her with. like i get it, im not pale and blonde and as conventionally pretty as clora is, but even if I was, is that a reason to hate me?? and does being beautiful and well-liked = mary sue? bc as far as I know, mary sue is a chara who is just naturally amazing at everything and doesnt need to try hard and theyre just inexplicably great for no reason (like mc in the base game BAHHAA) if anything the mary sue in MY fic is seb LMAO (but hes a boy so its ok). like clora has worked hard and studied magic all her life due to being a squib and wanting to make up for not being able to DO it. she isnt good at flying, seb is still better at her than duelling, shes really short sighted when it comes to doing/thinking whats best for others and can be a huge idiot.... and like. the only guys that have even shown interest in clora on a real scale have been seb and leander (and then lawley for blackmail purposes, and also bc he hates seb) so its not like literally everyone is falling over themselves for her?? like her interactions with the main cast of boys (ominis, garreth, amit) theyre all indifferent to her LMAO but still, the fact that shes pretty and guys here and there might look at her and go o shes cute! doesnt make her a mary sue SORRy thats just called being attractive idk its just annoying that ppl automatically see a nice kind beautiful female character without any VISIBLE flaws and go SHES TOO PERFECT!! MARY SUE!! WAH IM JEALOUS! and like I get it bc when I was younger I probs would have been annoyed by clora as well due to my own insecurities and internalized misogyny but hey, how about u just realize that’s ur own problem and your own jealousy, and not a real one HAHAH anyway ive since evolved bc I used to be a ‘not like other girls’ type girl back in highschool. trying to be super tomboy-y bc I thought being feminine was cringe and too basic but now ive embraced it and love girly things and dresses and charas like clora who are still strong and showcase their strengths and weaknesses in subtler ways, and I want to smooch her and make out with her. get behind me clora ill protect you🤺🤺🤺

[juuuulez]

📰 | richie jerimovich x reader ; “Princess.”

🎧 -> untitled 07, kendrick lamar

info: Richie Jerimovich x Reader, no use of (y/n), reader’s nickname is princess because duh it’s cute, mention of drugs, arguing, brief mention of Mikey, brief mention of a sexual relationship, Richie just wants what’s best for you.

summary: Richie is your dealer, and also a pretty good lay. But recently he’s changed his priorities, and tries to change yours, too.

gigantic bear brainrot right now, and i was thinking about that little glimpse of dealer richie annnndd that’s sorta it! don’t like, don’t read, but the overall consensus is about recovering and breaking old habits.

i also happen to have such a soft spot for this man!!!!!! sue me!!!!!!!!!!!!! i literally wrote this in less than an hour i’m insane

Hey. You working?

Richie’s phone goes off, ironically, right when he’s on his break. Every day, he goes outside for a cigarette at the exact same time. And you know that. He knows you know that, and he also knows what you want. Of course he does. It’s always the same thing. He stopped doing this shit for a reason, but you? He’s weak. And probably stupid.

Neither of you even discuss the plan: it’s protocol at this point. Not even seconds pass, and he’s already punched in a response.

Nah. Come see me.

Minutes later, and there are footsteps approaching down the back alley, towards the door Richie lingers near. He turns to see your form approaching, watching the way you tug at the sleeves of your sweater, likely much too thin to truly combat the cold. With how hasty you’d been, Richie suspects you’d already been nearby. Likely around the corner, just waiting for the go ahead.

It’s been a few weeks since he last saw you, though Richie knew why. Because he didn’t do this shit anymore. To reach out again, you must’ve been desperate. He could work with that.

“Princess.” He greets, nursing a lit cigarette between sharp teeth.

You’re sighing, a look of exasperation on that pretty little face. A mix of relief, and discomfort, at being out in this weather. “You’re my saviour, you know that, right?”

Richie scoffs, already approaching. Closing the gap between you two. “Find that one hard to believe.” He mutters.

As usual, you move in to intrude on Richie’s space, tucking yourself against his side. The biting Chicago winter urges you closer, as he’s somehow warm, though Richie is always warm. One hand ashes his cigarette onto the concrete, and the ofher arm wraps around you, hand cupping the ass of your jeans, thumb tracing the pocket seam.

Laying there is a wad of cash, he can feel the outline faintly under the thick fabric. But he doesn’t take it. Nor does he replace it with anything, despite what you’d been expecting, what he’d agreed to. This routine you’d built up, an unspoken process.

You shift away slightly, looking up at the taller man with furrowed brows. His hand shifts higher, finding its place against your side, holding onto your hip.

“What gives?” You ask, trying to decipher that unreadable look on Richie’s face. For a man so expressive, you were lost on an interpretation in this moment. He wouldn’t even look at you, squinting at some unknown spot in the alley.

Then his head starts shaking, a disapproving look forming, before the words follow. “Sure you don’t want some dope instead?”

“If I wanted dope, I would have asked for it.” You retort. The words were sharp with intent, slightly irritated.

Richie tries harder to convince you, finding that would be easier than outright admitting his concern. “Come on. You haven’t thought about making the switch?” He muses as if it were obvious, taking a long drag from his cigarette. That hand is still on your side.

You roll your eyes. “To what? Being miserable and a fucking downer?”

“No.” Richie rolls his eyes. “To going, I dunno.. natural, or whatever.”

This gets no response, and Richie finally glances down at you. You look confused, but mostly pissed. Definitely some form of agitated.

“Weed and shrooms.” He clarifies with a shrug.

“Are you serious?” You’re snapping at him, finally stepping back a little, out of his hold. “As if you even have shrooms.”

“I could get them if you wanted. Gotta be better than that other shit.”

“Fuck! You’ve gotta be the world’s worst dealer.” You utter, running a hand through your hair and looking off into the distance.

Before he can get a word in, you begin venting, letting that frustration bubble up. “Y’know, if I wanted a lecture, I’d call my parents. But you, Richie?”

So, he snaps back. Like he always does. After all, fighting is miles easier than having an actual discussion. “I dunno, princess, this ain’t fuckin’ right! I can’t do this shit to you.”

“It’s coke, Richie! Not heroin. I’ll be fine.” You urge.

He shakes his head, voice only rising with his temper, a tone most are accustomed to. “You know that’s not the fucking point.” The words have anger in them, laced with bite, intent.

And for some reason.. some, god forsaken reason, you let up.

Maybe you knew this would happen. Maybe you had the smallest, tiniest inkling that coming to Richie, of all people, was a bad idea. You knew he’d stopped dealing, for the most part. But you couldn’t blame him, not after everything that happened with Mikey. It’s not like you didn’t know him, too, but it was different.

So, you relent, pressing a hand over the crease of your brows. “Okay, okay. Just..” You can’t get out a full sentence, mind reeling with about twenty thoughts at once. The most prominent notion: you certainly weren’t getting your coke today. Not from Richie. And, frankly, you didn’t trust anyone else.

He looks down at your dejected form, jaw clenched with tension. Richie didn’t like being the bearer of bad news, by any means, and felt a pang of sympathy. In an ideal world, he’d give you anything and everything you wanted.

In an ideal world, you wouldn’t be asking.

“What’ya need it for, anyway?” He ends up inquiring, tone a tad softer, now that the hostility has simmered.

You shrug, kicking around a rock. “House party.”

Richie nods, getting a vague idea of what was happening. It was for later. That was good.

“Then how ‘bout.. you come over to mine,” He suggested, “We smoke up instead.”

It wasn’t an unfamiliar request, but any means. You’d spent many nights in his apartment. It was lonely and derelict, as most days, he didn’t have his daughter around. Sometimes things escalated. By all means, Richie was certainly a good fuck, if anything. But you were messy, complicated, not someone that stuck around for long. Richie understood that, as he wasn’t looking to settle down, either. Not with someone like you. At least, that’s what he told himself.

“Already bought the beer, Rich.” You justify, giving a minor resistance towards the idea.

Of course, he has a solution for everything. “Bring it.”

You nod along, the slightest of smirks appearing on those plump lips. It was clear as day, a physical indicator that you were fucking weak for anything he suggested. “So you’re denying me product, and you’re gonna drink my beer?”

“Yeah, but the weed is free.” Richie offered, a grin beginning to form, purely because he was getting what he wanted.

There’s a low whistle, sucking the air from between your teeth. It’s cold out, and you’d rather get home, given this was supposed to be a quick pick-up. The thought of spending a night over at a Richie’s place was incredibly tempting, given you hadn’t seen him much lately. He’d been pulling away, which was understandable. You weren’t exactly the healthiest to be around.

“M’kay, weirdo.” You agree, looking away to avoid spotting how purely happy that makes Richie. Deep down, you know he’s genuinely pleased with himself, not just for getting you to come over, but to abandon the drug altogether, even if just for a night. He’s fixing you, making you a better person, which you really fucking hate.

He throws the cigarette to the ground, stomping on its ashy remains. “See? What a good fuckin’ girl you can be. Just gotta use that pretty little head more.”

To emphasise his point, Richie cups the top of your head, fingers disrupting the part of your hair. His hands are huge, for the most part, covering the expanse of your skull. It prompts you to swat it away with a displeased grunt.

“Don’t push it, asshole.” You warn, already trying to fix your hair. Before he can cause any more damage, you’re turning on your heel, eager to escape the cold.

“10pm. Don’t be late, princess.” Richie calls out to your retreating form, watching the semi-enthusiastic thumbs up you flash him in return.

Feeling pretty goddamn successful, he gets back to work.

[hainethehero]

So I made the mistake of stumbling onto the NOT STEVE ROGERS FRIENDLY tag today and..

You have to be a special type of delusional to be this obsessed with a character you don't like!??

Over 2k fics have the tag and are almost entirely Tony Stark-centered fics. I'm assuming these are the "fans" who totally buy into the MCU canon and don't know any other Captain America lore outside of what Feige and Whedon have done. Or, they're the "fans" who refuse to understand the politics behind Steve's character and how he was inherently undermined throughout the entire ten years of the MCU by the directors and writers for most of the films.

Because the arguments in most of these fics for being "not Steve rogers friendly" are really surface level shit like:

1) "Steve refused to sign the Accords and broke up the Avengers" (he was right & he didn't break them up, an overemotional Tony did when he refused to listen to Bucky's side of the story).

2) Steve fought Tony and almost killed him (yeah, like Tony didn't blast Bucky's arm off and shoot his repulsor rays directly at Steve).

3)Steve is homophobic (y'all are just making up reasons to hate this man atp)

4)Steve is racist (Steve hated racists & you'd know that if you read the comics, or you guys are just that deluded that you're making Steve racist & trying to project it as canon and therefore a "reasonable" explanation as to why you hate him)

5)Blaming Steve for Rhodey's accident (WHICH WAS TEAM TONY'S FAULT!)

6)YALL, THEY MADE STEVE THE BAD GUY IN A BROCK RUMLOW/BUCKY FIC! I stg I cannot make this shit up💀 Steve's bad for wanting Bucky to be Bucky again, but somehow Brock's the good guy for wanting Bucky to be the Soldier...

Steve left Bucky for Peggy (we'll get to this soon)

There's a hundred more irrational reasons for the Steve Rogers hate, but let me get to the WORST part.

THERE ARE BUCKY STANS WHO ARE ANTI-STEVE ROGERS.

And I'm sorry, no. I don't accept that you love Bucky Barnes but hate the one person he loves the most in the world.

They argued in a couple fics that "Bucky also went rogue after Siberia but he didn't want to associate with Steve, Nat & the rest of the team- WHO HELPED RESCUE BUCKY & EVENTUALLY EXONERATE HIM- but rather, he went off on his own & eventually Tony finds him, they hash it out and become friends to lovers."

Helppp???? Wdym Bucky isn't gonna stick with the one man he's been keeping diaries about to try and get back his memories? But he'll go to the one guy that re-traumatized him by blowing out his arm again?

Not only that, but Bucky absolutely hates Steve in some of these fics and the reason will be, "he left Bucky to go back to Peggy." Like, you cannot be a serious fan if you're still going with the Endgame canon. For a majority of us, we recognize Endgame as being nothing but terrible writing and mischaracterizations. Why are yall not analyzing and interpreting media critically? The MCU has never been on Steve's side and have always diminished his character in an attempt to make Tony the ultimate hero of the OG 6. Don't yall know the discourse? It's embarrassing atp.

And this is my stance on the entire thing: there's nothing wrong with writing fics about characters you don't necessarily like or aren't interested in. It's OKAY if you don't like Steve Rogers- but you've gotta be rational about him, instead of hateful. Most, if not all of these "anti-steve" fics are written in bad faith. Bad understanding of the character and pure, shameless mischaracterizations which just makes these types of fics fickle and weak- hilarious to read though cos that Brock one had me deadddd😭💀.

[nextstop-fixationstation]

OK analysis time! Matt said that Marcy's affection towards Sasha was more surface level than Anne's, which was described as "complicated." People might assume that this means that Marcy's affection for Sasha wasn't deep, or that their relationship wasn't.

If we're being honest here they weren't presented as having depth to their relationship so much as having acts and services. They're on the level with each other and can interpret each other's needs for a plan but they are lacking somehow when it comes to each other's emotional needs. This is something Darcy touches upon when they say they might not have ever been friends at all, and might be a core conflict between Sasha and Marcy. It's also a good example of why Anne is the actual Heart of their friendship. She connects and makes their dynamic deeper. While Marcy is desperate to keep people together and hates being alone, she admits she lacks a core understanding of emotional intelligence and this is something she admires in Anne. Marcy treats herself as a tool and mostly makes friends by doing things for them and complimenting them. She's kind of the perfect POV character for a journal that gives lore specifically because she's very attentive to things like strengths and weaknesses and team synergy, but isn't necessarily attuned to emotional intelligence. She kind of blocks herself off from feeling certain things too keenly or doubting herself, and masks it using this peppy overachiever persona.

Maybe if Marcy were more emotionally self aware, she would have been even more openly hurt by how dismissive Sasha is of her interests (even though Sasha clearly does like nerdy things), or she would have noticed that her friends don't really care for RP (etc). But in the series what we see is a Marcy so afraid of being left alone that she'll hide every emotion and every hurt aside from what she thinks will make people stay - she delivers compliments, improves infrastructure, says all the right things to earn trust. She's a great twist antagonist! Admitting that her friends don't or can't reciprocate her interests or desires is important to her arc, because it serves as a lesson to her that friendship is more than just doing things together or doing things for each other. Marcy and the others aren't just tools in schemes and plans.

We hear from Anna that Sasha has difficulty knowing when to bring other people to the table, so for someone like Marcy who thinks that she needs to earn everything through acts/upgrades, it makes sense that their relationship remained very surface level. Neither of them pushes the other to see things differently, while Anne does. Anne can acknowledge where people hurt and hurt her, and can acknowledge that this doesn't mean they aren't friends or significant to each other. Anne notes the complexity! It's why she's so compelling.

So, Marcy acknowledging how hurt she is that her friends don't want to do what she wants is significant because she also says, "I believe in you." Love goes beyond the stuff we do for each other. There's a bit of faith, too. What she did isn't right either. Being hurt isn't an excuse.

Darcy isn't just "evil Marcy," the Core is also every temptation for Marcy. Escapism, distraction, perfect friends who go on quests with her whenever she wants. There's a darkness to this kind of insecure attachment that Darcy reveals. Fear of inadequacy and irrelevance. Fear of loss. Fear of change. Fear of what is deeper than skin deep. Maybe my friends will forget me if I move. Maybe I'm just their nerd, just like Sasha's just cool. So their relationship isn't surface level to us, because this nuance is communicated to us through the subtleties of the show's execution. It's a really well acted, well boarded, well written show with fantastic music! It's really amazing!

Sasharcy IS very complicated! But it's complicated because they never dig deeper with each other until it's too late. It's also why it's significant that Sasha is the one to ask, "Can we save this friendship?"

Why is friendship with Marcy so easy? Is it because they got along and there's mutuality here, or is it because they didn't let themselves get any deeper than what was easy? It's so easy for them to just be the controller and the executor.

Forgiveness is hard. Forgiveness takes time. It takes a lot of thought, discussion, and work. Friendship in the long term, deep enough to mean something and hurt when it's gone, is similar. It's not just sentimentality and acts of appeasement.

aaaaand that's what i think matt meant when he was like "marcy's affection for sasha was kind of surface level"! I will admit I was like noooo Matt noooo don't say it was surface level whyyyy but like i had time to think abt it so i'm fine now lol lmk ur thoughts💙

smth i didn't add to my original tweet thread is that i DO find it interesting that marcy appears to specifically empathize with the experience of lonely people who grow up a certain way or doing things a certain way to protect themselves from loneliness. she seems to have an intuitive understanding of people fitting into groups via niches, but is drawn to people who already seem like outcasts as opposed to being able to identify it when someone is surrounded by people they seem to easily connect with. Marcy has this fundamentally insecure and lonely viewpoint that makes her very interesting to read and analyze, and I suspect it also contributes to her popularity. I mean, clearly *I* love her

[bibinibikkkkk]

Laurent's sin

I also decided to write about Laurent, but I warn you that Laurent drives me crazy, I have A LOT of thoughts about him. Since all the books are Damen's POV, many things about Laurent are up to us to interpret. So I also warn you that everything here is MY thoughts, and I know that sometimes I get lost in them. Laurent is one of my favorite characters, so I love seeing other people's interpretations, even if they differ from mine. There are things here that are more speculation since we don't have much information given by Laurent himself.

Laurent’s sin is wrath. Laurent's wrath is so great that it leaves him blind sometimes. Laurent is not the type of person who waits to truly know someone to have an opinion. He hates people from the go and waits for them to prove that they don't deserve his wrath. Laurent looks for the worst in others. It doesn't matter if someone is a great person, practically a saint, if they do something that isn't 100% honorable, Laurent will hold on to that one thing to classify that person as evil. So yeah, Laurent hates a lot of things and people. But most of all, Laurent hates himself most.

For my college degree, I had to do extensive research on victims of sexual abuse who developed PTSD. So I read and heard many stories from victims and I can say that one of the characteristics that most (if not all) of these victims have is that they feel GUILT. In my work, I basically analyze the defensive reactions that people who experience a violent event can have. For example, during sexual abuse, the victim can enter a state of tonic immobility or dissociation, where even though they really want to defend themselves, their body remains immobile. It is a 100% biological and involuntary reaction. But many victims do not know or do not understand this and so after the abuse happens, they feel like they should have done something, fought back, and defended themselves from the abuse. That is why many blame themselves. But what I mean by this is that Laurent probably feels this way. After he understands what his uncle did to him, Laurent most likely feels guilty. He must blame himself for not fighting his uncle, he thinks he somehow allowed this to happen to him. What would Auguste think if he knew this, that Laurent wasn't able to protect himself? So this guilt develops into self-hatred. Laurent's wrath is much more towards himself than against the world. Laurent hates the naive and vulnerable boy he became after his brother's death. He thinks that's why his uncle abused him: because he let him.

After Laurent realizes all this, he forces himself to change. He doesn't want to be vulnerable and weak anymore. He creates a personality that is the extreme opposite of that. He becomes cold, does everything to become physically stronger, and represses all emotions (except anger). He doesn't repress his anger because anger is, in fact, the only thing that keeps him alive. Anger and the desire to take revenge. Laurent also hates this character he had to create to protect himself. Because if he needs mechanisms to protect himself, it's because he's still vulnerable. I swear, Laurent's mind must be a living hell with so many contradictory thoughts. He knows he has become a bad person, he doesn't like it, but he is very afraid of being different.

He wants to take revenge on his uncle, but not just kill him, he wants to take revenge on his uncle by proving that he can be better than him, more intelligent. Laurent not only wants to beat his uncle, he wants to see his uncle lose, again and again. It may seem like the same thing, but it's not. Laurent tries hard to see through his uncle's schemes and plans meticulously to make all these schemes work in his favor, which he knows irritates his uncle more than anything. I would even say that for the last few years, Laurent has been in a limbo where he feels "comfortable" with these "games" between him and his uncle. Everything changes when he realizes that his uncle really wants him dead, because until then Laurent didn't think that, or didn't let himself think about it, which is more likely. Here is the irony of how Laurent is more like Damen than he lets on. Laurent knew that his uncle didn't love him, but he still didn't want to believe that his uncle would kill him in the end.

Meeting Nicaise and Aimeric is the closest Laurent comes to thinking that maybe the guilt he feels over his abuse isn’t justified. Because he sees himself in both boys and he can, from an outside perspective, understand that neither Nicaise nor Aimeric are to blame for the abuse they suffered. But he represses these emotions, especially with Aimeric. When Laurent freaks out at Aimeric, he’s freaking out at himself. It's the first time Laurent is capable of causing harm to himself, looking at the living mirror that is Aimeric. The craziest thing to me is how Nicaise and Aimeric's deaths, without Damen showing up at the end, are the only alternatives for what would happen to Laurent too. Murder or suicide (sacrifice).

Besides obviously wanting revenge on his uncle, Laurent wants revenge on Damianos, the man who killed his brother and then started his years of abuse. This anger and hope of one day getting revenge on Damen is also what keeps him going. Even more than the anger towards the Regent. Because, at the end of Kings Rising, when Laurent is free of the anger he feels towards Damen, after he accepts that Damen is not to blame for his years of abuse (he admits that his uncle would do the same regardless), I believe that Laurent finally admits something he always knew: he would never win against his uncle. Not alone. And, even now in a "relationship" with Damen, Laurent still feels alone. Now without the anger towards Damianos and with the conviction that he will not win, all that is left is self-hatred. And that is what drives him to sacrifice himself. He's all alone, not even his wrath is there anymore. And the love he feels for Damen still isn't enough to quell this self-hatred.

This makes me think that Damen, in a very twisted way, saved Laurent from himself from the beginning. I even thought that if Laurent didn't care about Damianos, maybe he would have killed himself right after he realized the abuse and that he had no chance of defeating his uncle. But no, Laurent is too complex for that, he only sacrifices himself because it would give Damen an advantage to win in the end. Despite all the horror that Laurent suffered and his wrath, he is probably the least selfish character, he would never kill himself to end his suffering, knowing that others are also suffering and that he can do something to help.

In my humble opinion, I think Laurent could be MUCH WORSE. I see a lot of people condemning Laurent as if he were the worst villain, but honestly, I would be much worse, especially against the man who killed my brother. Laurent still gave Damen many chances. Laurent made Damen suffer LITTLE (and it pains me a lot to say that, because I would hate to see Damen suffer more). I believe that the entire time Laurent was torturing Damen, he wanted the opportunity to kill Damen in a more honorable way, perhaps this is what stopped Laurent from killing him when he still had the chance. But this is just an assumption. Sometimes I think even Laurent didn't know what he was doing and what he wanted to do. We need to remember that Laurent is still a 20-year-old who has been isolated from the world for too long. Laurent may be very smart, but he doesn't have the necessary life experience. There's a lot that Laurent doesn't know, but he's very good at pretending he does (even Damen falls for it (and us)). Laurent ultimately regrets what he did, because, again, that was him hiding (protecting himself) behind his villainous mask. He also ends up forgiving Damen once he understands the circumstances under which Auguste died. Something he probably already knew, but didn't want to admit, once again, because that would put an end to the thing that kept him alive.

Laurent finally agreeing to leave Arles to go on border patrol was the biggest turning point in his life. He meets the people of his kingdom, innocent people who have no idea what is happening at court. People who respect and love him. Those who remember him from the past, remember the real Laurent. The freedom he felt from no longer needing to contain his strength. All this and more was important for Laurent to be able to see beyond what his uncle allowed him to see and do. He starts to trust more people, the ones who trust him back. And then that's when Damen starts to see the "changes" and fall in love with Laurent.

This is probably super confusing, but that's how Laurent makes me feel hahahahhaha. What we read throughout the trilogy is still the very beginning of the romance between Damen and Laurent. Damen showing up at the trial was probably a big part of making Laurent realize that Damen's feelings are not frivolous, it's not just a passing attraction for him. Laurent is no longer alone. I go crazy wondering if maybe all Laurent needed was someone stubborn enough for him to start being himself, without having to hide behind masks. Maybe a friend, someone who would look long enough to realize who Laurent really is, like Damen did little by little. Laurent has been alone for so long, with his secrets and his pain. He probably isolated himself like that too for fear of loving someone like he loved Auguste and becoming even more vulnerable (that's kinda what happens with Nicaise). He's certainly done a lot of things he regrets because of his wrath, especially against Damen, so I think Damen will need to work a little harder to prove to Laurent how much he loves him. Just like Laurent will certainly do the same.

[knaveumineko]

Umineko Episode 1 Blog: None Shall Be Left Alive

We're on the home stretch. It's time to present my final (for now) theory on what happened in Episode 1.

The last few murders are probably the simplest of the lot to pull off. The deaths of the last few servants are pretty simple if you're assuming that the servants were in on the conspiracy the whole time. Maria claiming to have seen the witch again doesn't matter if you assume that the witch is "possessing" people and that the servants simply mislead her. Natsuhi's death was either a suicide after reading the contents of the final letter, or a more straightforward murder by the culprit, who was lying in wait for her. The latter seems a bit more likely, given the disappearance of the final letter.

I'm skimming over all of that because we need to talk about that final scene. I'm going to level with you: I completely misread this scene the first time. It's a good thing I'm writing this blog or else I would have been moving forward with a pretty huge misunderstanding.

On the first read, I somehow thought that this just meant Maria was running up to the portrait for some reason, and there was some colourful narration being used to cover up what was going on in the cousins' final moments. In my defense, it was very late at night and a lot of crazy stuff happened at once.

OK, so with our dual assumptions that magic isn't real and there's no 19th person, this scene explicitly confirms that at least one of the people we saw dead somehow survived, and that this dead person is the culprit after all. Rereading Maria's narration also reminded me that Maria recognises the culprit as the Beatrice.

This leads me to an angle I haven't tried yet. I think I've been a little too married to one specific theory and not considering other possibilities, and now's the time to correct that.

What happens if we assume every single person who Maria recognises as the witch is the same person? That is:

The person who gave Maria an umbrella and letter

The person who Shannon met in the halls the night before her death

The person Maria is referring to in the scene with Battler and the servants in the kitchen, when she says that the witch is in the room with them at that moment

The person who Kanon met before he died

The person the cousins see at the very end of the story

I argued way back when that Kanon gave Maria the umbrella, but Shannon and Kumasawa's alibis are also extremely weak. Maria's claim that the witch was in the room with her during the scene in the kitchen implies that the witch is Genji, Kumasawa or Kanon. The one the cousins met at the end of the story has to be someone we thought was dead, but not Genji, Nanjo, Kumasawa or Natsuhi.

The only person who plausibly meets all of these criteria is Kanon. I mentioned earlier that I think him meeting the witch in the boiler room could be metaphorical, so I don't see that as a huge roadblock.

This reading would imply that Kanon faked his death somehow. I guess we'd need Shannon's death to be fake, too, since Kanon definitely wouldn't kill her? Also, there's this:

I previously had no idea what to make of this end text, but under this new interpretation the game is basically telling us that Shannon and Kanon are alive at the end of the story. Notably, Maria's line does not say that Rosa is alive. It only says that Maria somehow received the her lost parental love. In some way, the wound within her was healed.

It's troubling to me that this theory requires us to assume that even the most convincing of corpses can be faked, but in all fairness this was never a mystery that relied heavily on material evidence. It's all about using storytelling to figure out what's going on, and this seems like a pretty good story. I suppose if we "spin the chessboard around" then the reason the faces were mutilated was to help sell the idea that Shannon was truly dead, and then the other bodies had the same done to them because it would look weird if only one of the bodies was marked this way. In any case, with this final scene we absolutely need to assume that at least some corpses are fake. There's unfortunately no getting around that.

We should also discuss the epitaph. When I first read it, it occured to me that the directions match the island pretty well. Battler makes a point of describing the initial path as pointlessly long and circuitous, like a river. There are a handful of buildings dotted about the island, with a small population living there, like a village. The story goes out of its way to have the grandchildren and Shannon visit a beach, which matches the shore that the "key" is supposed to be located at. Narratively speaking, it would make sense for the epitaph's directions to refer to places on the island, since these are the only places that the characters can access. We could also speculate that, much like the story itself, the epitaph is being tricky and switching perspectives, so that "my beloved hometown" actually refers to Beatrice's hometown. Beatrice is said to live in the woods of Rokkenjima and be the head of house by night.

With these revelations, my guess for how it all went down is something like this:

Kinzo died ages ago, but Natsuhi kept up the illusion that he was alive to help her husband stall for time, and to finally claim some real power for herself. Kinzo's inner circle help to maintain this lie.

Shannon goes to the beach with the grandchildren and finds the "key," whatever that means.

Kanon visits Maria in the gardens, claims to be the witch Beatrice, and gives her the letter and umbrella. It was hoped that this letter would provoke the killing to begin. The seal was done using Kinzo's ring, which was stolen from wherever it was being kept after he died however long ago.

The siblings turn on eachother during their argument over the inheritance and begin murdering eachother. The servants agree that this is the Demons' Roulette choosing appropriate sacrifices, and so they start carrying out the ritual described in the epitaph, in accordance with Kinzo's will.

In order to ensure there are enough sacrifices, Gohda is killed and Shannon's death is faked. The servants also clean up whichever of the siblings survived the initial altercation. I'm thinking the servants would probably only have to kill maybe 2 or 3 people tops at a time, which seems more reasonable than someone Rambo-ing 6 people solo.

That morning, Natsuhi enters the study after being bullied into it by Eva, and lies about Kinzo being up there, maintaining her deception.

After the bodies are discovered, Natsuhi decides that her facade can't survive a police investigation and takes the convenient out of claiming that Kinzo has mysteriously disappeared.

The servants enter Eva and Hideyoshi's room with the excuse of serving dinner, and instead murder both of them. They then create a fake locked room mystery by cutting the chain to the door and telling everyone else that the door was locked when they discovered the scene. The letter was simply written by one of the servants the same way the last one was.

Kanon may have also gone back to the storehouse and let Shannon out around this time, since the story mentions him going there anyway.

Kanon's death in the boiler room was faked somehow. Maybe he had Shannon's help, and the one fleeing from the boiler room is her. Shannon may also have been the one who deposited Kinzo's body in the incinerator at this point, since she was free to act while everyone thought she was dead.

The servants have another letter, which was intended to help fulfil the "praise my noble name" part of the epitaph. They place this letter on the table whilst Natsuhi and the grandchildren aren't looking. It is notable that Maria does not claim that Beatrice was the one who put the letter on the table.

When the servants and Maria are forced to leave by Natsuhi, they meet Kanon, who was already hiding in the parlour. Genji locks the door, and then Kanon comes out of hiding while Maria isn't looking. He tells her that he entered by turning into butterflies, and then instructs her to look the other way and start singing.

The servants allow Kanon to set up their bodies in accordance with the epitaph, and then Kanon unlocks the door, leaves the letter, makes a phone call to the study, and flees the scene.

After discovering the bodies, Natsuhi reads whatever is written in the letter (a confession, perhaps?) and leaves to challenge the culprit, making sure to seal the door to the parlour so the kids can't follow.

Despite her efforts, Natsuhi is defeated due to being outnumbered and the culprits lying in wait for her. The culprits take the letter Natsuhi was holding with them.

Kanon and Shannon reveal themselves to the surviving grandchildren, thus fulfilling Jessica and George's wishes for them to return to life. They then all travel to the Golden Land, whatever that means. Perhaps understanding this Golden Land would be the key to understanding the grandchildrens' disappearance? Unfortunately, I don't see a way to progress much further on the epitaph, so I can't speculate much on this.

This will be my working theory going forward. With this, I will finally move on to the rest of the story and find out exactly how and why I'm completely wrong about everything.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

you don't have to answer this if you don't want to but what do you think about Yuu who alr knows Disney and is a bit of a better strategist than canon!Yuu? Like this Yuu would know from the first dream-vision they had that they mirror reality the next day and so whenever they wake up the next day after having these dreams and write down IMMEDIATELY about what happened and try to correlate it as much as they can to reality so they can strategize this way?? Added bonus if they know they're perceived as a weak, helpless magicless student and use it to their advantage so that others constantly underestimate them too!!

Well firstly, I think someone has most likely written this kind of fanfiction before. It’s pretty common to “novelize” the main story but specifically featuring one’s own Yuu variant and/or to do a “fix” or canon divergent story. Not my thing so I just skip over those, but I’m certain I’ve at least skimmed fic summaries of this nature.

Secondly, I don’t think it would make sense narratively (even for a more intelligent and proactive Yuu that has knowledge of Disney lore) to automatically suspect that their dreams correlate with real life events and that they should be alert for parallels. It’s assuming a lot of them, including that they’d have the hindsight before their first dream that their dreams are somehow prophetic. (I’m not counting time travel or time loop theory here, only what we know is canon right now.) That’s not really strategizing then, it’s jumping the gun and assuming that they’re a seer without enough cause to believe in it. Has this happened before to them in their original world? But dreams are rarely ever so closely associate with the things playing out 1:1 in the waking world. Why would Yuu develop this belief then??? I think they’d realistically start putting the pieces together maybe book 3 because 1 time (book 1) may just be coincidence + they wouldn’t be suspicious of anything, 2 times (book 2) is establishing a pattern, and then 3 times (book 3) would be enough times to firmly establish said pattern. It wouldn’t happen right off the bat.

I also feel like this kind of Yuu would not work for the current (canon) story TWST wants to tell. Having all of this information and/or going out of their way to prevent things from happening because of their foresight might just cascade into many events not playing out at all, even if only halfway through the main book. It means they’d be highly wary of many characters and could successfully avoid the pitfalls they glimpse in their dreams. They could seek out the “villains” of their dreams, deduce the issue, smooth things out sooner, prevent OBs altogether. Very, very different events might play out. (And if the main story manages to stay roughly the same in spite of all the measures this Yuu takes, then what was the point of telling it all with this intentional smarter and more actionable Yuu to begin with???) Diverging from canon happens all the time in fan creations, as I’ve said earlier—and again, there’s nothing wrong with this. I just don’t know of this would “work” with the current set up without deviating considerably at a certain point.

As for Yuu being perceived as a “weak, helpless magicless student” who “uses it to their advantage so others underestimate them too”… I feel like this is already done in canon, but very subtly and definitely relies a lot on player interpretation of what “kind” of Yuu they want to be. It’s already implied that Yuu is the strategist for battles, so they offer support in this way. Additionally, many characters recognize them for talents which lie beyond their magicless status. This includes the headmaster, who declares that Yuu has the makings of a beast tamer, and Rook, who gives Yuu the nickname “Trickster” for their cleverness. I believe that Yuu was even chosen to go for the harp in Beans Day because Jade was aware that the Monsters would underestimate Yuu and prioritize going after him, who is the more obvious threat. The world and its characters seem to constantly be telling us about Yuu’s strengths outside of a magical context, but they leave how Yuu actually makes use of their helplessness open ended for players to project as they like onto them.

It’d definitely be interesting to see a Yuu that leans into and plays up their weaknesses, but I also think that it would require a skilled writer to successfully pull that off. If not done well, the Yuu may come off as more whiny/desperate or too pompous and locked in their own self-aggrandizing head space. Maybe we’ll get a Yuu that strategizes with their deliberate helplessness in a future installment of the manga? Could be interesting!

[ann-atar]

Thinking about the subtle presence of the powers that be and/or the Valar in Rings of Power, and having thoughts about what part they might play in the adaptation, specifically what we’ve seen so far, and going over how those powers that be might view Sauron and his actions, and every time I think about him in that context I feel somewhat sympathetic .

However, not too sympathetic, given his repeated offenses, to qualify him for redemption or some kind of blanket amnesty, at least not before many, many ages of serious contrition, and given that Sauron is Sauron, well. Is that likely?

There are a few different threads I’ve seen that try to make a case for TROP being all about ultimate forgiveness for Sauron, while condemning the choices and actions of Galadriel, Adar, Celebrimbor, Mirdania, or anyone who gets in his way because those individuals were short-sighted or needy, or were motivated by ego or weakness, and that the Valar were handwaving Sauron’s actions or even using Sauron as some kind of tool for divine justice(!).

Do we really think the Valar are indifferent to the suffering of elves and dwarves and men, to the point that they would condemn them to be tortured to death based on a bad choice, or a personal weakness, or a common character flaw? I don't think they are quite that severe in their judgement, but I do think, being something akin to gods, their seeming lack of presence could be interpreted as indifference, and more than that I think their actions happen on a much different time scale, so any action they take might take most of an age to show any results. And of course there would be a lot of unfortunate collateral damage in the meanwhile.

But do we seriously think this means that they would allow all of the violence and destruction we’ve seen so far just to give Sauron a second (third, fourth, fifth) chance to choose a better path before he’s subdued, just because he's a Maia and that somehow makes him their special boy?

No, and I think the show has shown us that this is not the case.

I think Sauron blew it when we were shown what happened in the season two flashback, when we saw his first days as “Halbrand”. Because it feels like that was his chance, and everything he's done and will continue to do in upcoming seasons will show him going deeper into whatever passes for insanity in demi-gods, with little or no understanding of the fact that his vision of order for Middle-earth is just as much an abomination as Melkor's path of destruction.

And that’s the compelling tragedy of Sauron.

Sadly that will mean more and worse consequences for the peoples of Middle-earth in the short term. But the Valar are not indifferent to this, and based on what we've seen they know Sauron needs to be dealt with. But what proof is there of that?

Well, they sent the Stranger/Gandalf, an Istari, and he has been explicitly put on a path to confront Sauron.

Think about the timing of him falling to earth: Sauron was on the raft with Galadriel, not long after Diarmid(!) was trying to get through to Sauron in the hold of that ship (and its subsequent destruction with Sauron on board was anything but a coincidence).

Of course Gandalf has free will too, and might make some mistakes. But he is a powerful force, who also has a different perspective and can play by different rules if he chooses, but he isn’t indifferent to the suffering of the Harfoots, and won't be indifferent to any pain Sauron causes the other peoples of Middle-earth.

So we're watching the consequences of Sauron blowing his latest chance play out, and ultimately I think we know we’ll see the realization of the Valar's condemnation of Sauron's choices and actions via Gandalf, the emissary they sent to counter him and muster forces to help subdue him. And I think the rings, all of them, will come into play during that struggle.

There’s a lot of underlying stuff about free will and the fact that power corrupts running through TROP and Tolkien in general. Celebrimbor made the Three with good intentions despite the fact that wanting to make them was also about ego and his legacy, but we can’t deny that the Three did the job he made them for, and we’ve seen them used to do good things. But Celebrimbor and Galdariel and Gil-galad and anyone else who comes in contact with the Three still have free will, and any attendant flaws that come with free will, and ultimately any powerful tool can be used for good or ill, and will inspire different things in characters according to their individual strengths and weaknesses.

But I do think the Three are more benevolent tools than any of the other Rings, with the One that Sauron will forge out of desperation being the ultimate corrupted tool that could influence the others. So Elrond or Galadriel or even Gandalf might have a better chance of using one of the Three for good, for protection and preservation for some length of time, whereas contact with someone like Sauron would change them based on his intentions, and his intentions are about gaining enough power to subjugate, well, everyone. In his hands, for instance, Nenya’s tendency toward protection would quickly decay into more overt stagnation, and just like men were drawn into the shadow realm by the Nine and the One, someone like Sauron with ill intent or a long history of general malevolence would gradually feed that into any one of the Three and reap the consequences.

In other words it’s not all about the sword, but who wields it.

I do wonder if we’ll see the Three become somewhat tied to the One in TROP, and if so how that will play out. Going back to the books, eventually the Three do lose their powers but there’s no indication that they were corrupted to the degree that the potential of any of the rings of power could corrupt or be corrupted.

The Three are powerful, and they are sought after, but they are not the Silmarils.

But would one of the Three heal or help Sauron? No, and getting back to the first part of this post, there are no shortcuts on the path to healing and redemption, and Sauron can't see that path at this point, and more than that he doesn't even know he's lost in the woods.

Quick aside because I just got a rude anon ask on the subject: Yes, I’ve read Silm and the other books and a bunch of other stuff, but I don’t treat the Legendarium as if I’m a supplicant who only accepts a literal interpretation of something Tolkien said in a lecture or a letter as something akin to religious doctrine, and I think he would laugh himself into a fit to see fans trying to contradict each other that way, especially given how he felt about the so-called dominion of the author. And given that TROP is going at Silm etc. buffet-style I don’t think we can talk about the show and expect it to adhere too strictly to every line the poor man ever wrote. This doesn't mean I didn't understand Silm, but I am coming at the adaptation mostly as it's own "thing." I hope that makes sense.

[till-alnst]

I'm thinking about this scene again

Like.. why'd you not do anything afterwards Till? You were clearly ready to throw hands with anyone who was doing that, but stopped when you saw it was Ivan? Why'd you let it go? lmao

// genuinely curious what mod's interpretation of this is—we still don't have a sure answer in canon so I must see this

for some reason management gave me a response, but im still gonna voice my perspective.

the reason why i didnt punch ivan was because we were in the cafeteria. while i wouldve punched him in any other circumstance, mizi happened to be in the room so i didnt want to start a fight. as to why i relaxed once it was ivan… i dunno. ivan has saved me multiple times from the guards punishments they give me, so i guess that once i realized it was ivan, i knew that i wasnt gonna be harmed? again i dunno. i also dunno why he licked the blood. whenever i think ive seen ivan do it all, that freak somehow finds something else to do that ive never seen. its weird.

as for what management said, they thought that on top of me feeling safe around ivan, the reason why i didnt react aggressively was because i was used to ivans bullshit by now. since ive been around ivan for so long, they think i developed a weak spot for him, that he means more to me than i let on. they also think that the reason why i looked so shy as i looked away was due to being flustered, as if truly realizing that ivans full undivided attention was on me, and i didnt know how to handle that. other than that, they pretty much said the same thing that i did.

[muses-with-afp]

In terms of Bleachy things that I am never not thinking about given my particular sort of brainrot, it would have to be Chapter 179, Confession in the Twilight. Today, I want to overthink long and hard about assumptions fandom often makes about Hisana. Some of these assumptions are not well-supported by the canon. Other of these assumptions likely stem from material added by the anime and/or the movie Fade to Black.

Because I'm sort of "meh" on the supplementary material from the anime and pretty "blah" on the Bleach movies overall, I will stick to the manga. (I am also a simple creature with only two brain cells to rub together now-a-days so... there's that, too.) I am sure there are more assumptions one could pick apart and torture to death, but for the sake of brevity (I write cackling because when am I ever brief?) below are my top three.

1. Assumption One: Hisana had no spiritual power/pressure

This one is odd to me because we, the audience, do not have a whole lot of evidence to base this assumption off of. Byakuya never says anything of this sort to Rukia during the confession:

Although, it is possible that Hisana was spiritually weak, and what made it difficult for her to survive was taking care of a baby with significant spiritual pressure/power. This explanation is entirely possible, but, based on the English translation, it is not the only interpretation one could draw.

Honing in on the"[b]ut it was hard for her to survive there while caring for you..." bit, this could suggest that Hisana, in fact, needed more than vibes and water to survive herself. We get a sense in Bleach that siblings often have similar capacities in terms of spiritual power and pressure, and we know Rukia is spiritually gifted. Accordingly, one could make the leap that Hisana, too, had some spiritual capacity. Now, I think the case for sibling similarities in spiritual talents is probably strongest for the souls born in SS since they presumably are most "genetically" related (or whatever concept passes for "genetic" relationships in SS), one assumes. This, of course, also assumes you buy the idea that Hisana and Rukia were just ordinary souls who passed from the WOTL to SS. KT, however, has thrown a wrench into this explanation by suggesting that Rukia is a secret... eighth thing/potential hybrid. (At least, I think we are up to eight soul "ecotypes" now .... Maybe it's nine if we add in the lore from Burn the Witch.) Perhaps this secret variation/hybrid is specific to Rukia, or maybe it applies to both sisters equally.

Other evidence that could support Hisana as having some spiritual capacity (beyond being a spiritual dandelion) includes:

According to Renji, the only way to escape Inuzuri was to attend the Academy/become a shinigami. It's possible that Renji was speaking only in terms of "legality" (i.e., the only legal way to leave your assigned district/town/placement is to gain admittance to the Academy) since we know Kenpachi and crew exist. Could Hisana have gotten out of Inuzuri using the Academy loophole? Sure! Why not? Was Hisana a bloody tank like Kenpachi and fought her way out of the city? Maybe but probably not, since she felt driven to abandon her sister, which doesn't seem very warlord-like of her. Maybe Hisana never actually left Inuzuri after the abandonment. The "[a]bandoned you and ran" (emphasis mine) part of the story makes it sound like she left the city, but maybe she just ran away from Rukia and went to another part of Inuzuri or the district.

Rukia somehow managed to survive (i.e., maybe it wasn't the demands (or just the demands) of a spiritually needy baby that drove Hisana to abandon her). We don't know much/anything about the period of Rukia's life between the abandonment and meeting Renji, so it's hard to say how needy she was as a soul baby.

Hisana hung out with/lived with Byakuya, who we know (a) has a metric ton of spiritual power and pressure, and (b) lives in a city full of similarly situated souls. Canonically, weaker souls seem greatly affected by the spiritual pressure of the more spiritually capable souls in Bleach, which could suggest that she had enough to withstand living in Seireitei and being married to someone with a lot of the stuff.

Depending on whether you think Rukia is anywhere near the ballpark in terms of her age vis-à-vis Ichigo (150 years, by the way), Hisana's life span would have been about 100 years in SS, which isn't particularly short. It seems that souls with some spiritual power/pressure tend to live longer than souls without it.

As Byakuya continues with his confession to Rukia, he says that Hisana "searched for [Rukia] almost every day for the next five years." If you take this literally, it sounds like Hisana went out into the slums regularly, which is pretty far away from Kuchiki manor. Without some sort of fast travel option (the Kuchiki are rich so maybe one exists...), it seems that she would have needed to learn a pretty good flash-step to make that trek anyway feasible. Although, it is possible that Byakuya meant Hisana searched for Rukia in a more abstract sense since, as a noble, she would finally have resources (beyond her physically trekking out there) to conduct a search. It could also be both.

2. Assumption Two: Hisana was (or was not) doing XYZ before marriage

This assumption likely piggybacks off the one above. Since we are given no indication as to what Hisana was doing before marriage, if you assume she was a spiritually weak being, it makes sense for the years between abandonment and marriage to be full of scrounging and hiding from scary beings/thugs/monsters/take-your-pick. And, true, the reckless noble/prince taking an unwashed but kindly peasant girl as a wife is an oldie goldie in terms of romance tropes.

But, as noted above, Hisana could have been literally anything. Shinigami? Sure! Secret agent/informant? Why not!? In CFYOW, Yourichi gets pretty annoyed at Tokinada for speaking ill of Hisana. It's possible that she's irritated with him because he's trying to goad Byakuya into an altercation and is using Byakuya's dead wife as the ammo (which, yeah, is a pretty gross thing to do). Alternatively, there could be a personal connection between the two women (which may provide further color on Rukia being chosen as a vessel for the orb, don't mind me just out here speculating). We know the higher districts are rough, and, at least according to Renji, Inuzuri is full of criminals and bastards of all stripes. Hisana could've been a crime lord, a lackey to a crime lord, a thief, a prostitute, a hustling gambler, a bookie, basically anything. The vagueness is glorious!!!

3. Assumption Three: Hisana died of ghost consumption a respiratory illness

This assumption likely arises from the anime (although forgive me if I'm wrong about this since it has been a while since I've watched the anime) and Fade to Black, which has a scene where Hisana has a coughing fit. The manga, however, gives no indication:

All Byakuya says is he "lost his wife." To what? Who knows?! Be more specific, Byakuya!

We also don't get a whole lot of evidence to indicate what killed her during the confession scene.

Hisana isn't sweating, and her futon is white as is the bit of clothing we see, so it doesn't look like she's necessarily suffered a physical attack/assault. She's also, notably, not coughing....

For reference, below are Byakuya's bludgeoned panels because we have a lot of parallels between her deathbed request and Byakuya's confession to Rukia:

To be fair, Byakuya's blanket and pad aren't bloody either, but his captain's coat sure is, and, goodness, is he sweaty! Although, perhaps Byakuya's memory of Hisana strips away the gory and gruesome bits (e.g., blood, sweat, coughing, gasping, gurgling death rattles, anguished groaning, etc.) since... well... no one actually dies pretty.

Based on the manga retelling of Hisana's expiration, the cause of death was... literally anything. Okay, I kid. I kid.

Sort of.

Maybe her COD wasn't literally anything. She was at least in a bed ready for death and had enough time to call upon her husband. (Although, so is Byakuya here, and he was stabbed like thirty minutes ago and is giving similar sorts of vibes to poor Rukia.) My guess is that whatever Hisana had, she succumbed to it over a period of time, which rules out causes of death that come fast, but a lot of deaths aren't immediate (unfortunately). Maybe she sustained internal injuries that took her, which would parallel nicely with Byakuya in these panels. Maybe she had "beautiful wife consumption," which is an oldie goldie trope for doomed lovers. Maybe she had whatever soul flu or illness afflicted Byakuya's dad. Maybe she had some sort of soul cancer. If you're doing the math (or a version of the math since time in Bleach is wobbly), Byakuya and Hisana married a year or so after WWII. It's not a pleasant thought, but cancer (leukemia and solid) rates went up five+ years later for obvious reasons, and perhaps this is an abstract/unconscious nod to that of sorts.

But, who can say??? Not me, that's for damn sure!

From a practical story-telling perspective, I imagine that KT leaves a lot of wiggle room around this period to avoid caging himself in for whatever reveal he had/has in store regarding Rukia's backstory/heritage/why Urahara picked her to put the orb into/etc.