#somebody is spiraling

[lazylittledragon]

ok someone please correct me if i'm wrong but am i weird for thinking those 'audiobooks don't count as reading' posts are ableist as fuck????

[sevastiel]

GS Umbra posting

DE hasn't given us much to go off of on how Umbra's been doing post the Sacrifice, so until they tell me otherwise, I get to make the decisions. Some thoughts below :>

Now that his mind is back, I like to think that the well venerated dax and the loving father are bleeding back through the some-odd thousands of years of madness. Idr if how long the new war era took was mentioned, but between then and 1999, no doubt he's had much time to process and heal, with or without the operator's presence.

The way I write him, he was the operator's go-to for missions, whenever he was up for it, and undoubtedly he would have been there when Ballas again took from him a child he loved, while orokin transference left him helpless to do anything about it. It must have set him back horribly, but at least he was able to process it this time.

In future Guardian Spiral chapters, I do hope to be able to get into the sort of mixed feelings he'd have about the parts of him that were willing to get attached to the drifter in the same ways, just because the drifter desperately needed it. Oh, the harrowing ordeal of loving, but having lost so much because of having loved. Hundreds, maybe thousands of years of grief will leave a mark, even if the one who's fault it was is long dead. The mind may know, but the heart doesn't forget the pain.

[yuwuta]

olympics coming up…… athlete aus on the mind….. satoru as a swimmer….. unreasonably large wingspan…. huge hands..... thinks “official” competitions and tournaments are boring because he can’t use the goofy purple googly eyes goggles he likes to practice in…… practices at ungodly hours solely because he likes when the pool is empty because that means you’ll dip your feet in at the edge and be there to greet him with a kiss when he’s finished his laps….. they bring up the stats board and it’s just his name ten times before the next fastest person and he could still lap them, and even tho he’ll always put so much pressure on himself to be the best, it’s worth it to have you hold his face and tell him you’re proud of him... he’s gotten so much merch from events and sponsorships and he used to think they just created clutter but that all changes when you start to wear his clothes (esp the ones with his name on it… he’s not proud to admit that does Something to him)…. always looks up to the stands when he finishes a race and if he knows you’re not there, he looks right at the camera, draws an infinity sign with his fingers, and blows a kiss (which, some commentators routinely call “unsportsmanlike conduct” but he doesn’t care, and always, publicly says he’ll pay the fees if it means blowing a kiss to his girl at home)

[once-more-with-anxiety]

been thinking about these two lines for a bit:

"You really gave up a potentially tranquil eternity- for your friend?"

"After seeing that, let me ask you, is that a person who belongs in hell?"

and I've been sort of just wondering what it was that made Charles change the topic that way. Obviously, to persuade the Night Nurse to help Charles get Edwin, but just... why? there were plenty of other ways he could have dropped it in the conversation beyond moving the question from "why did you give up heaven?" to "why does he deserve hell?" and I guess I've come to the conclusion that this is his way of saying "he did not deserve hell and he is all the heaven I need" and I. hhgghhgkrgasdlgoasd. I love them they're so tragic and stupid.

[steviewashere]

Mmmmm

"Losing My Religion" by R.E.M.

A Steddie break-up fic where Steve, hopeless romantic Steve, is in a whirlwind romance with Eddie. And Eddie who finally gets his big break and plans to leave Hawkins in the rear view. It starts slowly, just little things Steve doesn't take to heart: Eddie getting distracted in the middle of a cuddle session or a kiss or even sex, Eddie pulling away quicker (but he's still loving on Steve so he doesn't really care), maybe cancelling more on their date nights or claiming that he's got plans already made with the Corroded Coffin boys.

And then the space between them just gets bigger and bigger and bigger, and Steve is left behind in the dust. Abandoned again. He's always looking to Eddie, but Eddie's not looking back. They're arguing more. There's a knot, a strain weighing on their relationship.

When Steve begins to pull back, Eddie barely puts in the effort to keep him tethered. And Steve, gullible and hopeless romantic Steve, lets Eddie get away with it. Because any attention is better than none. Even if he's going to bed alone every night, waking up to a going cold space beside him. Even if he's biting his fist during an argument, saving the tears for a quick shower. Even if he has to choke back on his emotions, because any big outbursts he thinks will push Eddie further away. Will spiral them out farther.

But then Eddie just abruptly leaves. Leaves their life, their friends, Hawkins as a whole. And Steve has to get his number through Wayne, who thought the boys were still together.

And it's not until Eddie answers with a, "Hello? Oh—hold on, babe, somebody's on the phone," that Steve finally puts two and two together. They aren't even dating anymore. He hangs up before say anything.

Eddie's left with the distant sound of somebody breathing on the other side and the dial tone. Never to hear from Steve again.

...anyway!

[odakota-rose]

so many gems in the Doctor Who script library the BBC just released but today I'm here in 4x02, The Fires of Pompeii

[julesnichols]

Juliette Nichols is tiny and greasy and looks like she'd bite you at the smallest provocation but she loves so deeply and can't express it easily and ALSO she's so so smart even if all her braincells sometimes merge into one slightly less smart one because she's so focused on something she forgets everything else to detriment of herself and everyone around her. I love her perfect character 10/10 no notes

[moldy-flowers]

Sakura and her comically oversized axes

[buckbuckleybegins]

It literally just hit me all at once that this storyline i.e. eddie considering moving to texas (bc we all know its either temporary or it just wont happen) was made exclusively for buddie angst

IT WAS MADE FOR BUDDIE CANON

HOLY

SHIT

[chososcamgirl]

i miss the month and a half that i was unemployed last year. that was when sjap was at its peak too. i think unemployment is the way to go.

[lyculuscaelus]

Revive the cult of Diomedes revive the cult of Diomedes revive the cult of Diomedes

Why am I still thinking abt this after @still-mourning-polites mentioning it on Discord why am I actually considering it why

[teddybeartoji]

o wait before i start posting any pics.. i was thinking that maybe.. you guys could help me liquify this gender some more by switching up what you call me.... DON'T GET ME WRONG I LOVE . LOVE LOVE LOVE WHEN YOU USE HE/HIM AND JUST OVERALL LIKE MORE MASC STUFF THAT'S SOOO MMMMMMMMMSO FUCKING GOOD like i don't get to feel that irl at all so it really does make me so happy but i've just been thinking abt TRYING to switch it up more yk? does this even make sense...... . hhhh anyway i might won't even like it and i'll want to just go back to hehim but i wanna try... JUST TO SWITCH IT UP.

[kitkatpancakestack]

Well do you respect black women when they have the audacity to exist outside the box you trapped them in in your mind. answer quickly. do you respect black women when you realize you have to respect them. and that they are not here to help you feel better about yourself. do you still love black women when I say you have no conceivable entitlement to their bodies. I'm still waiting on your answer btw. do you love black women or are you holding them to an impossible other standard. do you still want to make space for black women or are you only comfortable leveling with your prejudice when in the guise of your performativeness. where are you going? your echo chamber isn't here to validate you. you don't have an answer for me yet? shouldn't it be easy? look me in the eye. am I too human for you now? don't you love me anymore?

(did you ever?)

[master-missysversion]

I recently got the Finch app but I cannot do the repeated affirmations goal without thinking of Karl in TWWFTE saying "somebody out there wants me" while Tzim-sha is literally hunting him down

[candle5000]

HTTYD SOUNDTRACK

good evening folks. i’m crying over the how to train your dragon soundtrack(s) and it’s killing me (again).

i hope somebody out there relates to the intense visceral feeling i get in the beginning of “stoick saves hiccup” from the second movie. pure childhood nostalgia. pure melancholy. pure tears because of the way powell constructed the song and how it uses that theme (which is so familiar that i feel like it was actually introduced in the first movie but im not sure). guys. guyyyyyys. that THEME.

i actually feel like i’m going to explode every time i restart the song. like every single time. because of that theme. i’ve put it in every playlist that suits it and in every tier of bittersweet melancholy sad playlist i have and yet i am STILL unsatisfied and i feel as though new playlist for a new tier must be created because this feeling is so intense and different

i might just be having a Moment because i’m writing this at 1:30am. but what. the fuck. (and that’s not the only bit that’s hitting me in the feels. it’s the WHOLE DAMN SOUNDTRACK. with specific songs giving me specific feelings. *screams*)

somebody please talk to me about how to train your dragon’s soundtrack because i’m losing my mind and i say that about a lot of things i love but this is so different and raw and strange

like i can’t even describe how much these movies mean to me and a huge chunk of that is the soundtrack. like i can barely type right now because all i want is to be able to plaster my feelings and the music onto this post because nothing else is working to describe it. i keep trying to speak but what comes out is “guh” because i want to express the music desperately and physically

(i saw it in a theater recently and that triggered this hyperfixation. got so many chills and tears during that showing. like i feel like im going to actually blow up just thinking about it)

anyways

[sweetsweetperil]

Scattered and scared

In a hurry, no longer here nor there

Everywhere and nowhere,

Would you ever believe me if I said,

I ever had a sense that I belong somewhere