once-more-with-anxiety

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feel like I don't talk enough about how much I love being lesbian so uhh. I FUCKING LOVE WOMEN YALL ARE SO PRETTY <33333

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Pushing up daisies

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oh you don't say

you don't fucking say

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you THINK that eventually, y'know, a hyperfixation will end, but no, actually its just a neverending cycle of 'this is the only thing in my life worth living for' and 'i have not thought about this in 10 months'

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modern batfam is so fcking funny to me wdym dick grayson (27) would be born on 1998, cass (25) 2000s, and then jason todd (21) is fcking 2004 (my age??)... and tim drake (17) is 2008?????

DAMIAN WAYNE (15) IS 2010. THAT'S SO WEIRD

this is like rough estimations btw its just so weird

like wdym modern bruce wayne is the same year my mother was born.

they're all unhinged fcking gen z mfers holy fuck

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today is the only day you can reblog this

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tagging a new mutual for the first time lowkey terrifying what if they hate me and spit on me and burn my house down

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the fact that my mother knows I'm gay is something I've long come to terms with but I just wish she would stop. trying to talk to me about it? like I've never acted... uncomfortable about the subject, but I've made it fairly obvious that I don't want to discuss it at length with her, and she just. keeps. bringing it up.

like the other day we were in a bookstore cause she insists that we 'do things together' (we being her and my sisters and I) and I bought I Kissed Shara Wheeler (finally) and I wasn't trying to like, hide the book, but I was also thinking 'okay, this is a queer book and I don't want her looking at it for a long time' because shes supportive in that weird way that isn't homophobic but is... I don't know, she's only an ally as much as she has to be, I guess? and anyways I got the book and she acted sort of weird about the fact that I didn't really show her it-show her it but it was whatever, and I put it in my bag and that was that. and today she told me she doesnt care if I read stuff like that, she thinks its fine its cool its whatever she supports all that 'lgbt stuff' and its. fine. its whatever!

and I get that maybe she just wants to be a more supportive mother or something but I think she just doesn't understand that this is one of those things that she cant just, I don't know, talk to me casually about. for me, in this family, in this household, being gay is not a casual thing and it will never be so long as I still live with my father and sisters. and look I don't think I would by any means be kicked out or treated especially awful or anything for being gay, but to be frank, I would not be as welcome in my home as I was before, and well. it was not perfectly welcoming to begin with. and my father has already made his stance clear on the whole 'being a crazy leftist' shit or whatever he thinks of people on the left, because I know that to him being gay is as good as being liberal and liberals dont stay in the will or in the house or in good graces.

and maybe if I was older the concept of being out would be a less terrible concept, but as it is I am still young and young means that the strings of my life are not in my hands and so somebody else is controlling my puppet, which is, quite frankly, terrifying. and jesus, I need to quit talking, but. hm. sometimes I don't know if it would have been better to be born straight or better to be born with a different life, you know?

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wasnt tagged either but im bored and this looks like a lot of fun so lets go!

this list could probably be better if I was making it at normal hours, but since it's not this'll do. also I'm not in the mood to tag so just... have at it if you see this

I saw someone else do this and I’m too impatient to wait until it makes its rounds to me, so I’m just gonna do it.

The prompt was to list your five favorite movies and people can vote on which vibe fits you the most!

Tagging @daltreysroger @blaringloudandproud @strawberrynez @petertorkspajamas @morphomeek @dreamcastgirl99 and anyone else that wants to participate c:

[once-more-with-anxiety]

food in season four is so interesting because every time el mentions branching out (pineapple pizza, the burritos, her milkshake) with what she eats mike is so?? off?? about it (blasphemous, weird, mine is better) but also, he brings her (soggy) eggos (calling back to the beginning of their friendship) without her asking for them and she doesn't eat them.

will is eating cotton candy (fairy floss? hmm?) at the rink and sort of chewing it a bit in between dejectedly watching el and mike. he takes a bite of the risotto while looking at mike. he takes a bite of his eggs at breakfast directly after watching mike walk away but not until that point.

jonathan, murray, joyce and argyle have no hangups and indulge freely in the food offered

mike takes a drink at dinner but seems to be mostly just pushing his food around in the plate. he drinks el's milkshake but criticizes it. he ignores his breakfast in favour of bringing el some eggos. at the end of the season he is forcefully fed pineapple pizza and admits he likes it??

i kmow this sounds like i'm thinking too much but food is just mentioned a LOT and it's not even subtle alright big potions of argyle's dialogue including just... how he answers the phone is talking about pineapple pizza and broadening your mind. "we're hungry" is literally how they end up being saved by argyle

eddie is starving most of the season and when he does try to eat it usually comes with some sort of problem. the hawkin's crew is sent out looking for food too.

murray makes risotto and it's a conversation piece. there is a huge emphasis on hopper and the peanut butter, hopper and fantasizing about enzo's, hopper offering a piece of bread to a russian who mistakes it as a coded request for gay sex. suzie's family cooking for their father. peanut butter in general since joyce also tries to use as a weapon of sorts in yuri's plane. then there's the feast before the russians release the demogorgon.

in other seasons there's stuff like lucas talking about new coke, benny and el bonding over burgers and ice cream, hopper using food to bond with el in season two, mike and will being placed in the fruit aisle, syrup comes back a few times. (erica pours too much, mike's syrup use is called gross, will's putting syrup on his pancakes when he says he won't fall in love) max and el switching ice cream cones. lucas and will both being confused bowls are not in the cereal aisle. (that ones just kind of funny)

im not saying it means any one thing in specific i'm just 🙌thinking thoughts 🙌 because it's interesting to think about when and how food is portrayed and what (if anything) it means when it is. it doesn't always mean something but the fun part is that sometimes it literally does in the text so I'M the weird one for thinking about it too much??? yeah probably. but it's still Rude To Say

anyway. food. the concept of hunger... of need... want... 🤷‍♀️ yada yada.

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Okay this may just be my ace quoiromantic ass projecting but

The way I most commonly see Charles “figuring it out” being depicted is him knowing he loves Edwin platonically and trying to figure out if he also is attracted to him sexually - it’s not always explicitly worded that way, but it’s, like, “I love spending time with him, but do I want to kiss him/is he fit?”

And, again, this may be a consequence of me being ace and arospec, but, um, I don’t really, to be honest, think that romantic love is just “platonic love plus sexual attraction”. I rather suspect it is, in fact, a secret third thing.

And I’m quite intrigued by the idea of a Charles who knew darn well that Edwin was hot - I mean, he’s not blind, this is objectively the case - but, like… He knows he feels platonic love for Edwin, he knows he finds Edwin attractive, but the thing between the two, the most important thing, the in love that Edwin feels… that part he can’t figure out.

He doesn’t want to just be fuck buddies, after all! “Friendship plus sex/kissing” is a very fun and fine thing, a well-established concept, he’s absolutely had tumbles with friends before, he shared kissing-practice with a boy at St. Hilarion’s, but it’s clearly not what Edwin feels or what Edwin wants and therefore he doesn’t want that either.

The problem is, he’s not quite sure what there is left, that’s not those. He knows it exists, because there is a difference between being fuck buddies (even fuck best-friends) and being In Love, but he can’t quite find what there could be that would be missing, between him and Edwin.

He thinks about what couples do, but… none of that is different to what he and Edwin do already.

They already go to movies together. They already curl up on the couch together. They already give each other gifts. They already hold hands. They already talk all night. They already hug. They already live together. They play board games together. They walk in the park and watch the stars together.

They dance together. They laugh together. They have special smiles just for each other. They’re already committed to each other for the rest of eternity, they’ve already sworn to each other that even Death will never them part.

Couples give each other flowers, maybe that’s - nah, Edwin gave him a bouquet of chrysanthemums just a week before Port Townsend, to guard him against a particular evil spirit, and Charles gave him a daffodil in return that he’d picked on the way home from the case. The mums and the daffodil haven’t even wilted yet in their (admittedly slightly magically enhanced) vase in the corner of the office.

So what is it, then? What is Edwin missing from him? What love is there that Charles could feel for Edwin that he doesn’t already? What is Charles failing to love, when he already loves Edwin’s playfulness, and Edwin’s smirk, and Edwin’s kindness, and Edwin’s sarcasm, and Edwin’s careful gentle fingers, and Edwin’s grace, and Edwin’s vicious streak, and Edwin’s warmth and Edwin’s coldness, Edwin’s intelligence and Edwin’s gray-green-blue eyes, Edwin’s wit and Edwin’s protectiveness?

He already loves Edwin in every way there is, what more could there be?

…oh. Maybe that’s the answer.

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THERE ARE HEARTS IN HIS EYES THERE ARE HEARTS IN HIS EYES HIS HAIR IS WET THE BACKGROUND MAKES IT LOOK KINDA LIKE HE COULD BE ON A BOAT LATER ON BOTH HE AND MIKES HAIR ARE WET THERE ARE HEARTS!! IN HIS EYES!!!!

[once-more-with-anxiety]

if this gets 3,000 notes by august 15th i'll record my stranger things 5 reactions and put them on youtube so we all can geek about byler together

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my life goal is to gain Italian citizenship

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REBLOG IF IT IS OKAY TO COME INTO YOUR INBOX AND SAY THE RANDOMEST SHIT I CAN THINK OF BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO INTERACT WITH YOU.

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It’s gonna be really fucking funny when the general audience gets straight baited for the SECOND time watching one of the most popular shows on Netflix.

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something I find really interesting about the teaser is that you literally never see Will and Mike alone together.

almost all of the other dynamic duos (Steve and Dustin, Nancy and Jonathan, Joyce and Hopper, Lucas and Max, Joyce and Will, Hopper and El, Mike and El, etc etc) have at least one moment together.

and I mean you have to admit- whether you believe in byler endgame or not- that Will and Mike have always been really close, and are definitely one of the biggest duos of the show.

now, while they could have not included a shot of them together for a million reasons, there is a chance that every shot between them was simply too yearnful to include without immediately alerting everyone that they're incredibly gay for each other. in this essay, I will