#some vid talking about ‘can you tell I have type’

[starlooove]

Need to stay off tiktok why are white men going ‘white women be like’ and white women talking about their ‘white boy obsessions’ those are just ppl to you. The descriptor is unnecessary. Those aren’t ‘white women’ to you they’re women. Thats not a ‘white boy obsession’ that’s a boy obsession. This is the problem with y’all copying everything black ppl say online; we use those descriptions bc when we talk about black women/men we don’t NEED to specify amongst ourselves. We do when we talk about y’all. Like y’all just saying shit makes you sound so weird. Also the men are just being misogynistic and the women are tryna make regular ass shit sound quirky and cool like you hate ur mother and u have a crush. It’s ok. Be yourself.

[neos127]

enhypen hyung line x gn!reader | #youtube!!

different types of videos you make with the boys genre. hcs, non idol au, established relationship for some & fluff!! wc. 1.2k cw. just some cursing

heeseung

“he has no idea what he’s doing.” you giggled with every word, watching as you boyfriend’s eyebrows furrowed with each makeup product he pulled out of your bag. being a popular makeup youtube channel, you wanted to try something new.

you had seen many girls have their boyfriend do their makeup and with a grin more sly than a cheshire cat, you quickly called up your man with a video idea.

heeseung was more than happy to film a video with you (mostly to show your one million subscribers how much he loved you). heeseung had seen the way male fans talked about you on twitter, he was excited to finally show everyone that you were his.

“why do you have so many lip products?” he asked, his expression showing that he was clearly baffled. heeseung made you giggle quite often, but you really couldn’t contain the laughter constantly spilling from your mouth.

“you can add some highlighter now, hee.” you spoke up once you had finally calmed down. heeseung nodded, grateful for a hint on what to do next. he rummaged through the makeup bag, happy once he found a small round container that said ‘highlighter’. he picked it up eagerly, the quickness of his fingers trying to wrap around the item caused him to accidentally drop it.

you gasped as the highlighter cracked and spilled onto the ground, looking up at heeseung who looked extremely guilty. his round doe eyes were wide, mouth slightly agape as he observed the small mess on the floor.

“i’m so sorry…” he mumbled, dramatically covering his mouth in shock. you began to laugh once more, finding your boyfriend’s reaction to be adorable.

comments:

y/nloveees — they are so cute omg!!

angelbabie — heeseung loves y/n so much you can just tell

strawberryshortcake — pls bring heeseung back for more vids!!

jay

“you sure this recipe doesn’t call for cutting anything?” jay asked, observing your blindfolded face with an amused expression. the two of you decided to film a video on jay’s account shortly after publicly announcing your relationship. he often did cooking videos and you had suggested doing a blindfolded cooking challenge with him.

“ok hand me the apples.” you said after getting through the first part of making the pie. jay tried to keep his giggles to a minimum, observing the mess that was supposed to be apple pie.

he placed a bowl of previously cut slices in front of you, watching as you fumbled around the bowl and pick up a piece.

“ugh, i should’ve cut them more…it’s too big.” you sighed, reaching out for jay to ask if he could cut them again for you. but while reaching out for him, you accidentally smacked the man in the face, causing you both to go into a fit of laughter. you apologized multiple times, lifting your blindfold up so you could finally see your boyfriend.

you grabbed jay’s face, placing a light kiss below his eyes where you accidentally scratched him. jay blushed at the affection, already knowing that he was going to keep the small moment in the video.

comments:

jayjayparks — aw y/n is so cute!!

0x1lovesongs — jay being so worried for her the whole time…my heart

givenxtakennn — CUTE!! y/n kissing jay’s ‘injury’ and him blushing oh im giggling

jake

“remember, don’t curse.” you warned the man sitting next to you, already giggling at the idea of joining voice chat in roblox. jake nodded, pretending to zip his mouth shut as the game loaded. you and jake were popular for playing games, mostly streaming on twitch but you often posted on youtube because you liked vlogging. you decided that playing roblox with jake would be a fun video idea, especially since your subscribers liked you two together after he appeared in a ‘day in my life’ video.

“why is this dude following me.” jake whined as soon as the game had fully loaded. he moved your character around, trying to run away from the random player who decided to terrorize him.

“your voice is weird.” the player replied, sounding as if he couldn’t be any older than thirteen. jake’s jaw dropped while you began laughing hysterically, smacking the boy on his hoodie clad arm.

“go do your homework.” jake shot back, trying to move away from the player once more.

“go do my mom.” the kid replied, a very obvious young boy remark but you ended up giggling anyways. especially since jake seemed so offended.

“what the fuck.” jake laughed, making you gasp and slap a hand over his mouth.

“i said no cursing!” you scolded him, waiting for a few seconds to see if you two would be banned from the game. when nothing popped up, you both breathed a sigh of relief.

“sorry that was my bad—” jake spoke up, stoping his sentence short when a pop up appeared on the screen. your profile had been banned for using voice chat for a few minutes.

“jake!” you groaned dramatically, slumping onto his shoulder. jake began to laugh, leaning his head on yours.

“i’m sorryyyyy y/nnnnnn.”

comments:

ikeuismz — the chemistry…can i be y/n??

angelluv — this video was chaotic until the end I NEED MORE

10monthsluv — ouuuu the flirting…

sunghoon

being very popular on youtube for your traveling vlogs and ‘a day in my life’ videos, you wanted to introduce your boyfriend in one of them. you had mentioned to your followers that you were starting university in korea but never mentioned that you also had a boyfriend of one year that you were excited to see again.

sunghoon was a very private person and at first didn’t want to show his face in your videos. you respected his privacy, blurring his face out when the two of you hung out together with friends whenever you happened to be in seoul. but upon your recent visit, sunghoon agreed to be in your video, wanting to show off his relationship with you to the world.

“so…you guys don’t know this but…i actually have a boyfriend here that i’m meeting up with today. he’s a private person so he didn’t want to be shown on camera before but today he finally decided to say ‘hi’ to you guys.” you explained to your camera as you approached sunghoon’s apartment.

when you knocked on the door sunghoon’s roommate, jake, answered. he gave you a hug and welcomed you back before telling you that sunghoon was in his room.

after reuniting with your boyfriend and hugging him tightly for about ten minutes, you turned your camera back on.

“this is sunghoon, everyone! we met about three years ago when i first visited korea and we’ve been together for over a year now.” you introduced the boy, watching as he shyly smiled and waved at the screen.

the idea of over a million of your subscribers seeing his face was a bit scary, but sunghoon was ready for show the world that he was your boyfriend. seeing men hit on you in your comments irked him a bit— he just had to show them who your heart belonged to.

“he’s a little shy so please show him lots of love.” you giggled, cupping his chin.

“we’re going to eat now…guys. so come with us as we…do that.” sunghoon said awkwardly, sending the camera a thumbs up and tight lipped smile. you began to laugh at the cute boy which caused him to laugh as well, his shoulders relaxing a bit.

“you heard hoon, let’s go eat.”

comments:

sweetxvenom — SO CUTE!! i need more of y/n and sunghoon!

sweety/n — aw he’s so shy how cute :(

lovelysky — you look so happy with him i’m so happy for you!!

taglist; @boyfhee @junityy @aenify @iilwji @catzisb1og (ask to be added!)

[matan4il]

what do you, as an Israeli, think of Standing Together? asking entirely in good faith because I see things supporting them a lot, but it's always from American Jews and (no offense to us), I don't totally trust that we're informed enough to know what we're talking about and what their perspective and usefulness truly is in the way that someone who actually lives there would. so many orgs are untrustworthy or covertly antisemitic and it made me curious for your perspective. thank you for everything. <3

Hi Nonnie!

Sorry it took me a moment to reply, but I hope my answer can still help you!

As an idea, Standing Together is a movement that I should have been all for. They are pro-coexistence, and so am I. There's no doubt in my mind that Jews aren't going anywhere, and neither are Arabs, and we are all better off working together for a good future for all. Supposedly, that's ST's message, so they absolutely should be an organization that I would be all for.

BUT from everything I've experienced, the narrative that they adopted is way more one-sided than their official stance, they're closer to being anti-Israel than balanced, which makes them problematic for me. Especially when you look at the individual actions and statements of many of this movement's leaders, it's evident that coexistence to them comes at the expense of historical facts, as well as certain Jewish rights. Obviously, the leaders' personal positions influence the movement's stance and actions.

For example, in this interview from Nov 2023, a Jewish leader of the movement falsely calls Israel's 2014 operation in Gaza against Hamas, "a war against Gaza and its people" (brief summary: Hamas kidnapped and murdered three Jewish teenagers in Judea and Samaria, Israel launched Operation Brother's Keeper during which it arrested some of Hamas' terrorists in that area looking for intel on where those 3 kids were and what happened to them, Hamas fired rockets from Gaza at Israel to get its terrorists released and used terror tunnels, including ones that crossed the border from Gaza into Israel, to kill and kidnap our people. That's what Israel ended up fighting against in Operation Protective Edge), while an Arab leader of ST defines their way as one which rejects "maintaining violent military control over millions of people," but says nothing against the terrorism that's used against millions of Israelis and Jews.

In terms of the recent war, since Oct 7 they have come out calling for a ceasefire now very early on in the war (I can't remember when they started it, but I know by Dec 7, 2023 they'd already put out a vid calling to stop the war, when really the ground operation only started about a month earlier, before it could possibly achieve anything), meaning this call was undermining Israel's right (and duty!) to defend its citizens, and asking us to surrender our goals of returning all the hostages and destroying Hamas' rule (only the latter can prevent Hamas from fulfilling its promise to carry out more massacres of the type that started this war, and has claimed so many lives on both sides). Another thing you can see in that vid is ST participating in spreading the false narrative that Israel is intentionally starving the Gazans (you can see the same thing in this poster, which says in Hebrew, "Thou shalt not starve." It's a poster for humanitarian aid they were supposedly bringing into Gaza, as if the IDF would ever let anyone bring anything they want unchecked into a war zone, or as if the amount of aid a few Israeli cars could bring is more than the hundreds of trucks Israel has been allowing in, checked. ST's just posturing and spreading an anti-Israel libel). Helping to spread a libel against one side is NOT being pro-coexistence. Imagine if they were spreading a libel that all Gazans are Hamas terrorists, and took part in the massacre! I think it's clear that, even if it's not simple to tell them apart, there are people in Gaza who are complicit, and people who are uninvolved and innocent. So if ST were spreading such a libel against Gazans, I'd oppose them. I am not going to do less when ST is spreading a libel against my own people.

I hope one day they correct course, but I can't currently support them. Give me REAL solidarity between Jews and Arabs, which sees and recognizes the humanity of both, not a repeat of the de-humanization of Jews, and a surrender of Jewish rights to an anti-Jewish narrative. That's not real peace, it's not real coexistence, it's a return to the way that we Jews have had to live for centuries in exile: always dependent on the good will (or lack of it) of the majority under whose will we lived, forced to bend ourselves, our rights, our dignity, too often even our very lives, to our subjugators, in the hope (and without any guarantees) that they will show us some kindness.

Many of the movement's leaders have not only expressed themselves in a way that reflects an acceptance of the anti-Israeli narrative, and took one-sided positions I can't agree with, they also acted in ways that have left me feeling quite unsafe.

For example, one of ST's founders, Yeela Raanan, joined and supported the violent Palestinian riots on Israel's border with Gaza, organized by Hamas, meant to breach the border fence, which started in 2018. Today we know these riots were a part of Hamas' preparations for the Oct 7, 2023 massacre, as they were getting the IDF used to them coming closer and closer to the fence. TBH, those of us listening to the statements of Hamas' leaders, we didn't need to wait for the border to be breached in order to know that it would be a bloodbath if they succeed. Sinwar's promise that they will reap out the hearts of Israelis with spoons from our chests was enough. Also, the repeated use during these riots of flags and kites with swastikas was pretty telling. So yeah, I can't trust anyone who supported that.

The movement is also financially supported in part by funds, such as the New Israel Fund, which finances a lot of good causes, but also many anti-Israel ones, and the German fund Rosa Luxemburg Stiftung, which supports the antisemitic BDS movement (it's antisemitic first of all because one of its stated goals is to put an end to Israel as a Jewish state, another reason is their use of antisemitic tropes in characterizing the Jewish state).

The ironic thing is that, despite how imbalanced against Israel ST is, it was still the so-called pro-Palestinians who actually started a campaign to boycott the organization. Not because of anything specific ST said or did. It was simply for being an Israeli organization, showing the diversity of Israeli society, which is apparently bad 'coz it "normalizes" Israel's existence. That shows you the anti-Israel nature of this opposition, that no amount of willingness to cooperate with the de-humanization of Jews and erasure of our rights will ever be enough for people whose real motivation is antisemitism, that wishes to see an end to the Jewish state.

I hope this helps, Nonnie! Once more, my apologies for how long it's taken me to reply. Be well!

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[ivystoryweaver]

im so interested in what u think the moon boys would be like as dads???

Ohhhhh, this is gonna hurt my heart. In a good way. I have a lot of feelings about Moon Dads and I've not yet written fics about it so yeah...

I'm gonna jump right in with Marc.

I think if Marc had a child, he would be all in: attentive, tender, affectionate.

I don't actually believe Marc would be afraid of parenting. I know that can be a popular hc/fic plot and I totally understand why, and love reading those.

But I think Marc would be one of those people that would try to do the opposite of what was done to him. Example: his parents were married and that went well... (sarcasm)

Yet Marc got married. He and Layla were together for years and, according to her, had "adventures together", meaning they worked as a (likely successful) team. Marc bailed on Layla once his mom passed and he could no longer control or hide his disassociations (plus Khonshu's threats for Layla to be his next avatar).

Point being: Marc did get married and seemed pretty successful at it, for the most part.

Marc is in charge of bath time. This includes little toy boats, fish that squirt water, bubbles. He's going to wash their hair, or whatever hair needs they have, depending on race and hair types. If it is a hair type he isn't as familiar with, he is going to be talking to his partner, looking up vids, whatever it takes. Touch is going to be so important to him. He is the dad who will know how to do french braids or styles for textured hair.

He's never going to react in anger. If he is angry, he's going to hand the reins to Steven or sometimes Jake (if he is able, it's obviously not a parlor trick), or he will just say to his little one, "Daddy is going to take a time out. I'll be back in a minute and we can have a talk." The idea of putting himself in time out is so endearing to his child that they end up calming from whatever misbehavior they were attempting, wanting to join him in the corner for time out, touching a plushie or reading a book in his lap.

They learn very young that their father's expressions can be stern but his hands are safe. They will not want to disappoint him.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Steven can converse naturally with children, this we see in the first episode. Steven's open, engaging nature is great for children. His own childlike wonder will shine in fatherhood. He was also able to quickly redirect the behavior of the girl who was littering at the museum. So a spunky child in a doctor's office waiting room will be easily wrangled by a distracting toy, quick game or wonderful story.

Steven is your go-to guy for bedtime stories. With a young child, Steven will share how wondrous the world around them is. He'll always have a anecdote or a fun fact for tweens or teens.

He will offer choices. "Do you want to put on 'jammies now or after a story?" "Do you want to help Dad set the table or feed the cat?" Steven has lacked agency in his life, so he is going to give it to his child. He will teach them to speak up for their needs.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Jake is going to be such a little shit as a dad. I'm sorry but there is no nicer way to say it lol. Jake's used to operating in the background and he's a night owl. He's the fun dad. He's the "don't tell mom" dad (or don't tell dad, dad). Kid wants stay up 15 extra minutes? It's Jake that's gonna sneak them some of the popcorn he popped after they were supposed to be asleep. As a partner, you'd find your little one on Jake's knee in the most comfy chair, watching the Yankees play baseball.

You give them The Look™ and they know they are busted. They exchange guilty glances and then Jake starts repeating words in Spanish. Baseball, Popcorn, very good! If you are already all Spanish speakers then Jake pretends to be practicing in both Spanish and English.

Either way, he and his little twin, with their adorable curls, give you shit eating grins.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Moon Knight Masterlist

Main Masterlist

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[struwberrii]

semi headcanons ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

here are some random general headcanons for semi eita my underrated king :3 (also pls it’s actually so hard to read this guys personality BEAR WITH ME!!)

look at this man and tell me he doesn’t play guitar

his notes app is literally filled with random lyrics and guitar riffs

also i can imagine him having a mac book and his photo booth app is just vids of him covering songs and playing guitar

it’s canon that tendou thinks his style kinda sucks so i imagine him just owning some of the most horrendous graphic t-shirts

likes taking walks in wooded areas and just listening to music and getting lost in thought

i feel like he would be the type of guy to make every conversation with someone he doesn’t rlly know too well super awkward

like the type of guy to say “you too!” when a server say enjoy your food

he gives me middle child vibes and i feel like he’d have an older brother who introduced him to cool bands and guitar

probably the type of guy to randomly get super philosophical

i feel like he’d be super gullible on certain topics too, like he probably believed a lot of those dumb internet shams for an absurd amount of time

would def judge your music taste silently then try to put you onto his favs

always in a bad mood/irritated but the second someone compliments him or is nice to him he’s wagging his tail

movie fanatic, he has seen every movie on the planet

i also feel like he’s 2011 older brother core, ykwim?

failing in school and knows he’s gonna have a hard time if he doesn’t get it together but has no motivation

beat up doc marten boots wearer

i honestly feel like he’d be kinda rude unintentionally and then be confused as to why people are calling him mean

also it’s canon that he’s in the lowest class at shiratorizawa so you already KNOW he’s a scholarship boy because no way he got in for those grades 😭😭😭

probably goes to the gym like twice a week because he forgets

spends literally 3 hours to do the simplest homework because every little thing distracts him

always smells like musky apples or rotten fruit for some reason

genuinely a chill person to be around if you understand his humor

pretends to play drums with his pencils on his desk

will stop talking mid conversation if he thinks of a good song lyric to write down

i feel like he would think he’s really deep and wise but he’s actually just kind of clueless 😭

mario kart champ

definitely the type of guy to get easily talked into doing stupid things like ufo hunting at 2 am on a school day

i actually imagine him to have a really deep and smooth singing voice (i could actually write a whole drabble abt band au semi)

probably has the worst diet ever, bro is eating leftover pizza for breakfast lunch dinner AND snacks

always thinking about his future but never doing anything to better his situation

has the comfiest sweaters but you’ll have to ignore the holes and questionable stains in weird places

type of guy to ruin your concert videos because his singing is so bad and off key

i also feel like his room would be really weirdly decorated, like he’d have a stolen stop sign up as decoration and then like holes punched in his walls and missing light bulbs

always has a lighter on him for some reason

also always has a headache

i feel like he’d also have a lot of instagram followers for some reason, like a couple thousand and he doesn’t even really post anything

the type of guy to constantly be thinking about how he could be doing better/more when his friends share good news and accomplishments with him

i feel like he’d have a pet lizard or frog yk :]

[base0h]

HOW HAIKYUU CHARACTERS REACT TO BUGS

a/n - watched a TikTok vid by @emmafischer8 about how setters would react to a spider and it was hilarious so I had to do everyone else too 😀👍

Warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, s/o reader, crack

- he’s not very scared of them so you can probably count on him to kill them for you if you ask 😭🙏

- but honestly he’d probably name a spider Fred and give it a leaf to sit on when he puts it outside

- and in the morning when he wakes up he’d also say good morning to Fred even if he doesn’t see him because he thinks Fred might still hear him

- “Bokuto who’s Fred..?” -you

- “That spider fella from last week! The one that was on the ceiling :)”

- “…You named it?”

- “Mhm!”

- “I love you Bokuto 😭”

- “Oh I love you too y/n :D”

- He has a lot of bug friends

- especially during summer he gets a lot of ladybug and butterfly buddies

- he prolly has named them after which friends he thinks they remind him of

- theres a praying mantis named kuroo 🙏

- he’s scared of them

- he hates them with every fiber of his being

- never take him to Australia or ANYWHERE remotely outdoorsy 💀

- he’s the type to get even quieter when he’s afraid— and he can’t even bring himself to move away from said danger he just stares at it helplessly 😭

- he could be doing homework or something and then all of the sudden his pencil will stop, and he’s just frozen in place

- you can’t even tell if bros still breathing

- “Akaashi..? You ok?” -you

- there’s no answer

- no acknowledgment

- just dead silence

- then you see why, and it’s a tiny little spider on the wall in front of his desk

- you have to kill all the bugs or take em outside, akaashi will do everything else but that for you so yeah 😭

- you also might have to comfort him for a while after because he’s so scared he gets nightmares about em 💀

- I swear yk those jumpscare vids on TikTok where the bug legit jumps out at you and that Asian dude is like: hey, you ok?

- BUT THE MF COMES WAY TOO FREAKING LATE SO IT DOESNT EVEN HELP

- yeah akaashi has beef with him

- he wants to set his house on fire and lock the doors with the guy still inside :)

- seriously you could be just chilling and all of the sudden he’ll chuck his phone across the room and he looks like he looked at Medusa or sum 💀

- those vids that try to like make you feel bad for bugs because they’re just trying to exist mean nothing to him

- “Ok then exist somewhere else? Preferably nowhere near me?” -Akaashi (probably)

IM TALKING ABOUT THIS GUY. (JUMPSCARE WARNING)

- ok see— he doesn’t call it ‘fear’

- he calls it ‘disliking things with more than 3 legs’

- he acts all tough and mighty until you’re faced with the final boss…

- summer

- Idk why but I feel like he’d have a tiny little dog— like a corgis or a terrier or something

- it sometimes eats flies and stuff— and Kuroo worships it 😭

- he’s totally the type to like try and create some intricate trapping system for bugs so that his dog can take care of it for him

- Kenma thinks he’s insane :) (he is)

- side note he also probably cuddles with his dog and has good dreams whenever he sleeps with it nearby him 🥲🙏

- anyways, you’re basically his knight in shining armor now, congrats! :D

- “Oh y/n you look absolutely gorgeous today—“ -kuroo

- “Where’s the bug.”

- “…..Corner wall.”

- sly mf 💀 bro thought he could fool you

- don’t worry he’ll make it up to you however you want 😭

- you name it and he’ll do it

- anything for his knight in shining armor

- his heroic insect slayer

- his courageous promised messiah—

- yeah you get the gist lmfao

- you should probably start taxing him for it

- he MIGHT boycott you though 💀

- I honestly think they’re scared of him

- I feel like no bug has ever escaped osamu’s sight

- like if a fly lands on his food it’s genocide time

- he will find its cohorts and kill every single last one

- kinda scary ngl 😭

- in the kitchen he’s probably armed with a fly swatter 24/7

- not one of those plastic flimsy ones though, the heavy duty high voltage shit, only the best

- Let’s be real though, if a fly noticed Osamu looking at it— it’d run and not be able to escape 💀

- Those vids that are like: “no but the bug was just existing— what if it had a family?” Yeah no Osamu doesn’t give a shit

- “It’s their fault for touching my food. Not my fault they might not have a parent anymore.” -osamu

- “Yeah but you didn’t need to like— chop it up like an onion—😭”

- “It reminded me of Atsumu so I was extra pissed at it.”

- “Hey! :(“ -Atsumu

- “Ah I see, makes sense.”

- “HEY! >:(“

a/n - I need an osamu to kill the mosquitoes in my house I can’t kill em all myself— I’m losing the war here 😭

[thesirencult]

ICY DIARIES 💎 2 : NEVER JUDGE A BOOK'S ENDING BY ITS FIRST CHAPTER

On this episode of "Icy Diaries" we will explore the dynamic of personal timelines, divine timing and why you shouldn't listen to the "gurus".

Back when I was in highschool I used to share a desk with a girl named Marie. Most people wanted to leave our small hometown and move two hours away, to the big city. Everyone was obsessed with leaving and never coming back until their success could make people jealous on a cliché highschool reunion.

Marie though was different. She decided to stay in our hometown and focus on herself. She was always very overweight and never had a boyfriend. Once we were talking about first kisses and she confessed to me that she had not even held hands with a boy, let alone kissed one.

She also didn't know what career she wanted to follow, even though she was a straight-As student, highly emotionally intelligent and very tech savvy and intelligent.

Marie was a late bloomer.

A few years passed, C*VID hit and I decided to visit my hometown.

I got off the train and I started walking towards my childhood home, thinking of warm cups of cocoa and waffles.

As I turned the corner I saw a long haired brunette in tight gym clothes getting off the passenger side of a Porsche. Her man was holding the door open, waiting for her to get off the car.

Looking my way she smiled and waved. I immediately recognized that warm smile and those caring brown eyes ! It was Marie !!!

Turns out, Marie trusted her path and didn't listen to others around her urging her to go to the big city. She worked part time jobs and started attending an online European university program that she could afford without going into debt. For 4 years she had worked on building lucrative online businesses and had founded several projects along the way, even selling a couple of e-commerce stores and a SaaS web app. She had tried moving to the city and had been accepted to a good school but she didn't want to burden her family. People made fun of her for not leaving the town and said that she was scared to get out of her comfort zone ! Who knew !

One day she decided to hit the gym and she became friends with her mentor (a story for another day) and a guy who went to our middle school but switched to a different highschool. He didn't leave our hometown too. His family owned a business and he decided that he wanted to learn the ins and outs of it to take over at some point. It was a very very lucrative venture. Like in the MILLIONS. I learnt that they were planning on getting married and moving in together in their home.

I would have never imagined these two together, but seeing them now side by side something clicked in me :

It all happens for a reason, at the right time.

The story above, portrays to me the importance of following your heart.

I know that many people tell you to suck it up and go cold. Sometimes we need that. Other times though, we need to trust the journey.

Marie never seemed like the type of person who could build businesses. She kept private. Marie played the game right though.

She didn't go after the BIG city sharks. She opted for her small town boy who kept her satisfied. Because that's what she wanted.

She didn't force it and she made the best she could with the tools she had.

Now she can enjoy her life, just at 25, while other classmates of ours are slaving away in corporate offices to pay off college debt.

That was the right decision for her.

Each one of us is on their personal journey. Your timeline is yours. It's not your mama's, neighbour's or friend's. If you can utilise a cheat code don't make it harder just to feel like a victim.

You won't get a prize for suffering.

After my meeting with Marie I started seeing life differently. I decided that I would never let anyone shame me for my choices. Your inner voice holds the answers, you just need to listen.

I always wanted to follow my passion for astrology and helping people to reach their highest potential. Actually Marie was one of the first people I analysed the chart of. She was super chill and open minded from the start. I'm very happy that she let her light shine to the world, in her own way.

You are a queen and you are always on time 💋

[whatsyourcolor]

Psycho-Pass Providence - My thoughts

Hello everyone, yesterday @jediofbooksandsnacks and I went to watch Psycho-Pass Providence. We went to watch the dubbed version which got cancelled, so we ended up watching the subbed version.

Here are my thoughts about the movie:

(SPOILERS)

The Plot I had already watched the movie in Japan without understanding a lick of dialogue. Some things were inferred from what was happening, but dear lord, with an anime like Psycho-Pass, you really need subtitles if you want to understand what's happening.

There's a lot of plot, but below is the basic gist. In fact, there are things I still don't understand. I may have to rewatch it to fully grasp some things. Basic plot is the MOFA was fucking around abroad and they found out. It's this ministry that created the Peacebreakers who got out of control and turned against the ministry and against Japan. One of these guys has a device called a "Divider" which when implanted in someone's brain causes them to be possessed and easily manipulated. It's called a divider because it splits the animalistic from the rational in the human mind. The villain (Tomami, I think was his name?) utilizes religious frenzy (lots of interesting quotations from the Bible) and the divider to control other peacebreakers. His aim is to declare his own rudimentary Sibyl system in the Kuril Islands at the North of Japan. To fully succeed, he needs the Stroyanka papers, which --from what I understood-- outlines the weaknesses of the Sibyl system and apparently can end wars or make them worse. I guess they are some type of predictive device, like a war AI that can analyze circumstances and tell you what to do in order to win or destroy an enemy.

The Stroyanka papers are somewhere in Dejima, which is where they hold all refugees who have not passed an immigration exam. This is where Maiko and Kei live in Providence. The only person who can open them, supposedly, is Saiga Joji. So off go the SAD and parts of Division 1 (Akane, Gino and Sugo) with Saiga to retrieve the papers.

The Call I really loved the dialogue between Kogami and Saiga when they're alone and begin talking about the case and quoting the Bible. Religion and Gods seem to be the theme of Providence, which is apt, since Providence is such a biblical word.

Kogami tells Saiga that him being a hermit reminds him of St. John and then reproaches him a little about working with the MWPSB. I love that Saiga tells him he is working with Tsunemori Akane. I simply adore how much Saiga dotes on Akane and how much she's definitely his favorite from all his students (take that, Kogami and Frederica).

Saiga warns Kogami about being nothing more than a killing machine. He tells him that it's up to him to be more than that and tells him that Akane is not a saint or a buddha and that he should apologize while he got the chance.

So Kogami makes the call and is unable to apologize. The next day Saiga takes a quick look at Akane and tells Kogami something along the lines of: "So you couldn't do it, huh?" to which Kogami replies "I don't know what you mean." Kogami comes off not only as a coward but as a stubborn mule who pretends not to know what Saiga is referring to. Maybe he doesn't like Saiga prying in their relationship. But I do think Saiga knows (I mean, he's Saiga) that their bond is important to the two of them.

Here's the vid of the call:

Kogami: "I've killed hundreds of men, walked seven countries by foot, raised a little girl for a month, starved in the wilderness, survived millions of explosions, but somehow telling this cute woman to forgive me for all the shit I have caused is the most difficult thing I have had to do."

The SAD Sucks The minister of foreign affairs and Frederica know that the papers are not in Dejima, but they go on this mission to use Saiga as bait to bring out all the Peacebreakers. Once they are there and Saiga opens the box only to find a cracked mirror, Frederica lets them know the truth and promises to protect Saiga's life. I love Kogami telling her: "So you would lie to the professor?" Frederica makes a face of contrition like "I'm soooorry guysss." But I like that Kogami calls her out. It makes me think their relationship is closer than that of boss and rabid killing dog.

Well, that doesn't go as planned. Apparently, the strategy of MOFA and Arata Shindo is to leak intelligence to follow the steps of the Peacebreakers and I guess predict their next move? Either way, it was a messy mission that ends up with Saiga dying, Akane broken down, and a lot of dead SAD men. Akane complains to Frederica and Kogami says that blaming Frederica won't fix anything (like man, let my girl rant because your team lied to her and got her father figure killed).

There's a scene with Kogami and Akane in an elevator where she's crying and angry. She blames herself for bringing Saiga out there to die. Kogami tells her that anger is fine, but that now is not the moment. That they need to complete the mission and then she can cry. She agrees, wipes her tears and follows him.

Akane's First Date This is a little bit of a joke, but Arata Shindo tells Akane to come with him to Kei and Maiko's wedding. I swear to god this is probably the closest thing Akane has had to a date. So yeah, Akane's first date is with Arata's dad and he ends up killing himself after giving a speech, so I guess... horrible first date? Lol.

On a serious note, he probably invites her because he knows he's going to kill himself. Chief Kasei gave him a gun, thanked him for his service, told him to put two and two together while waggling her eyebrows implying "time to take yourself out."

Kogami and Akane's Boring "Platonic" Relationship Many things happen, but at the end Akane gets shot twice by Tomami, then they end up debating why the law is important. On the crucial moment when he's about to kill her, Kogami shoots him down and says that he agrees with the dude he just killed. The law is not necessary and that basically, humans suck and are horrible. He tells her: "But I believe in you, who's trying to do the right thing."

So Akane recovers and Kogami goes to jail. She tells the Sibyl system that she'll take Arata Shindo's place as a politician and in her exit ceremony shoots Chief Kasei in front of everyone. She's sent to jail and Kogami comes out. Then, finally, once she's done what she had to do, Akane can fully cry.

I was telling Jedi that it bothers me how emotionless Kogami is throughout this whole thing. In the PP Movie their encounter was so intense, from them fighting, to not being able to sleep because there were too many questions, too many things to be said. Akane had grown and learned from him. He observes her, he's curious about her, he wonders what she thinks about him. It bothers him that she compares him to Makishima and is about to open up when she tells him that he would never try to control anyone's heart. If you are expecting frank moments like that in Providence, you won't get them. But for some reason, when you have dreamed so much of these two together, finally seeing them in the same place is exciting and I can't deny I left the theater a little high on shinkane. Kogami looks absolutely hot and Akane looks beautiful in many scenes.

Gino is Hot This one is obvious, but it needs to be said: Gino is hot. Passionate, sensitive, loyal team player. He saves Sugo, he saves Frederica, he consoles Akane, he thanks Mika when she gives him an obscene dominator. He yells at Kogami. He forgives Kogami. He wants to see Kogami regret what he did like Akane does. He gets a little bit further than Akane in that aspect.

I think at some point they try to play off Kogami and Frederica, and Ginoza and Frederica. Maybe they're showing that they would both work well with her. In our perverted fandom's mind I'm sure we're all thinking these professional agents would probably sleep with each other no feelings involved.

Frederica Has the Hots for Her Boss This is my own view, but the few times Frederica shows emotion is when it comes to the Minister of Foreign Affairs. She really appreciates him. At some point he's kidnapped and tortured by Tomami. When they rescue him (or rather, when Akira brings him to them), she's more concerned with his health than with Akira's statement which she assigns to Kogami. When the minister gets "possessed" and breaks down, she's locked in an elevator or a room, banging her fists against the door helplessly. I can't recall if she cries. But she wasn't crying when Saiga died, lol.

Final Verdict I think Psycho-Pass Providence was a good movie. Definitely better than Season 3 and First Inspector. This is a piece of media that I can respect. It's not great, it's not fantastic. It's more of the same in many aspects, it doesn't advance some things, but at least it doesn't feel cartoonish and stupid at points. Seems like the writers are definitely sticking to their strategy of showing explosions, fights and larger and less practical guns instead of writing an emotional buildup to the dramatic beats. The dominator has always been cool. They overdo these new dominators, making them look ridiculous and impractical.

However, Akane shooting Chief Kasei to get back at the system, exposing the contradictions of Sybil and forcing the public to wonder why her hue is clear when she shot someone in front of everyone, is pretty badass. She's willing to pay the price for what she did and goes to jail. Kogami promises that he'll do anything he can to get her out of there. Mister, where was all this resolve when you had the time and space to talk to her? He just doesn't learn. Ugh.

Either way, we know why Akane did what she did, but the interesting thing is that in the world of Season 3 nothing much has changed. Did Akane go to jail for three years for nothing? If there's a new season, I hope that she has at least inspired other people to question the system. Who knows. The writers seem stuck on their ambiguity in regards to everything.

4/5

[conniemb]

The difference between "fanatics and gamers"

So basically I'm just gonna word vomit about this topic in regards to destiny because it's been on my mind a lot recently since I've came back to destiny and I've been watching a few vids on the whole discourse surrounding destiny and it's state as a game and feel like I've kinda come to a resolution in my mind about why a lot of this is happening and why some people feel differently about the game. PSA this post isn't supposed to be some big angry discussion trying to say people's concerns about the game is wrong or invalid I kinda jus wanna spew my thoughts out there but do feel free to comment your thoughts about it if you wanna discuss it!

So I start by differentiating between "fanatics" and "gamers" which probably seems like a cringey way to put it but it's the only kind of physical representation of both sides that I could think of. So fanatics are people I'd describe as being absorbed in every aspect of the game, lore, art comics, gameplay, characters etc the type of people who are out here writing fanfics and creating ocs where as gamers are people that are here solely for the game itself. They are playing a game for its mechanics and enjoyment and their involvement in the greater community doesn't span much further than that. They might be interested in the lore (obviously you'd have to enjoy the story to play the game in the first place) but they're not out here making their own content in regards to the game i.e reading/creating fanfics and ocs etc. Now after establishing what each side means from what I can tell the people most upset by the state of the game are the gamers while the ones defending the Devs and just having a good time within the game and it's universe are the fanatics.

So why are people mad?

Well both sides seem mad in the current situation of destiny. The gamers are upset that the contents running dry and the fanatics are getting upset about the gamers constant anger and bashing directed towards the game and the Devs. Like don't get me wrong I understand where people come from when they're annoyed about bugs, it makes the game harder to play and then there's the issue of content running dry and then the vaulting of older content (something that I find extremely upsetting). But I think the constant negative approach towards these issues isn't always healthy to the game, play wise and the actual players mental health wise. I recently watched Mr Fruits video on this talking about the video Datto made and I think the main message there is something that so many gamers need to keep in mind and it's that if your not having fun playing a game and you can't find anymore satisfaction from it play something else. If your playing a game for the content it's Devs are providing you and that content isn't as fulfilling and entertaining for you anymore then just play something else for a while. I think a lot of people have these really unrealistic expectations as to what the Devs can produce within the game and I think if you believe the Devs are seeing the discourse going on in the community and people voicing their issues with the game and are just deciding to sit back idly and do nothing about it then you're a fukin idiot. The people at Bungie are just that, people. People with limitations. There's probably an infinite amount of reasons as to why the issues that're there are there and these things will take a long ass time to fix. If they were easy to fix everyone and their nan would be making bestselling games. In terms of content running dry for people of course this is gonna happen. There's a limit on people's creativity and the amount of content a single group of people are able to produce. And with the amount of content already in the game it's gonna be extremely hard to make new content that's cohesive and makes sense in the greater universe of the game. So yeah it might've only taken you a couple tens of hours to complete the campaign content with your clan full of experienced players but that's not what it's there for in my opinion. The game isn't there to just be played it's there to be enjoyed fully and completely. This is content that the creators have poured months of their lives into thinking up and designing. If destiny was pumping out content at the rate some people seem to think it should come out the game would be a shit show. It would be riddled with plot holes, stuff that just doesn't make sense and would eventually fuck up the game even more gameplay wise. I'm sorry but I don't want this game to turn into some sci-fi Fortnite. I want the Devs to take their time making compelling content that's actually engaging.

Superiority of the fanatics

Please hear the sarcasm in that subtitle but the point of what I'm saying is the fanatics are the ones winning here and I think this is the fangroup that the games actually directed towards. Destiny is a storytellers game, that much is obvious from the games expansive lore and world building. Your given a platform to create your own character and create their story following the campaigns that the company themselves are providing which is something very reminiscent of ttrpgs like dnd or lancer. Obviously it's not got the same customisation as those games but the idea is there. The reason why a lot of fanatics aren't getting super upset about the "lack of content" in the game and it's bugs is because they understand that the content is fucking there but sometimes you gotta warp the content yourself a little to keep up that sense of enjoyment. People do this by writing fanfics, creating art, creating ocs etc. When Bungie aren't directly giving us content to play we are making our own content and sharing it with others because this is what destiny is for us it's not just a game it's a world we're experiencing and being a part of. And that's my point, destiny isn't a game for gameplay mechanics sake and if your playing it for that reason and getting upset then it should be obvious your playing the wrong game and maybe it's time to take a break and try something new. If your wanting a game that spoon feeds you content to keep you hooked then I don't think Destiny is the game for you it's never been that sort of game in my opinion. When I came back to destiny I was hyped to dive head first into lore books, video essays, blogs because I knew I had a lot to learn and create myself and that's what I expect from destiny and tbh it's what I'd think any newcomer to the game should expect. And in terms of bugs in the game obviously they're annoying but I feel like from having a greater respect for the Devs and the content they're making your in a mindset that makes it easier to digest that these things take time. For a company to be making all this content, world building, server mechanics, game mechanics and so much more it's gonna be rough to get to every single bug in the game. And tbh I've been playing the game again for almost a month now and I haven't actually experienced that many bugs in the game, no more than what I've seen in other games I've been playing but I want everyone to take that with a heavy pinch of salt because obviously everyone's experience within the game is different.

The issues of paywalls and vaulting content.

Now this. THIIIISS. I get it, I really do having to pay for seasonal content and constant dlcs is probably the most frustrating thing about modern gaming. But that's the thing it's not just a destiny issue this is a modern gaming worldwide issue. Fucking hell even Pokémon is drifting into the dlc hell hole and paywalls with many of their services. Like it's just apart of gaming now and it can be frustrating but it's something you kinda gotta accept and it's not something you're gonna really be able to avoid no matter what game you play that isn't an indie game. As for the vaulting of older content and the removal of game aspects as seasons progress this is probably the single most frustrating thing about the game right now for me especially as a returning player but I also see why destiny is doing it. The game is reaching a size which is becoming unmanageable and the removal of some content is a necessary evil to keep the game going in my opinion. And to Bungies credit they have announced they will be no longer vaulting dlc content going forwards since last year I believe. And look yeah you can't play the content anymore but it's still out there to enjoy in the form of lore and video essays and play through videos. It's not the same but it's something and I've been enjoying sifting through the content available to me. Again I feel this is where the difference in destiny fan comes in. Gamers aren't satisfied with just consuming content about the game which is a totally fair stance to have on the game but there's also a number of games out there that aren't doing this sort of stuff cus they dont have to and maybe those are the type of games that you should play.

The state of the game for new and returning players.

Now this is probably my biggest fukin gripe with the gamers side of the community because in my opinion the biggest thing that's damaging the experience for new and returning players isn't the games bugs, it isn't the games slow approach to releasing new content or the vaulting of content, it's the constant negativity being emitted by that side of the community in regards to the game and the Devs as well as their attitude towards people wanting to learn more about the game. When I decided I wanted to make a return to destiny I did what I'd say a lot of other people have done and taken to sites like Reddit to ask questions about the game so I'd have some idea of what to expect coming back in and the responses of got of people who are meant the be "fans" of the game were sickening. Id have to sift through maybe 15 responses telling me to delete the game, I'm an idiot for wanting to play it, the games at its worst state than ever, there's no point even trying, before I found even one post actually giving me the information I was asking for and giving me tips on how to get back into the game. The only thing that actually made me contemplate not getting back into destiny was the constant negativity being emitted by that side of the community during that time. Not the negative aspects of the game that're definitely there, it was just the sheer miserable energy I was receiving from these people. And that's the thing while yes the game really isn't at its best state for new or returning players there are still ways to make it work and I found those ways buried underneath all the bullshit negativity the others were spouting. This is what's hurting the games ratings in my opinion. The games not at its worst state it's ever been for new and returning players entirely because of what the Devs are doing, a huge chunk of that issue is the negativity coming from this side of the player base.

In conclusion.

If your not enjoying destiny at this moment in time then stop playing for a bit. Maybe consider that this game isn't for you. Voice your opinions and concerns in a respectful manner. And for new people wanting to get into destiny jump right in! If you wanna get the most out of the game then it's gonna take some effort ima he honest. It's gonna take more than just hopping on the game and playing. And if that's not your vibe then that's totally fair not every game is gonna be for every player. And take my advice if you do wanna learn more about the game and how to get into it please stay away from Reddit. Stick to Tumblr people are actually nice here and wanna educate you in a positive and reaffirming way that is healthy for the state of the game and it's community. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[chaifootsteps]

about the cartoon Viv made separating types of criticism - I think it's a fair point that the tone of a critique can make a difference in how an artist receives it & it's totally fair to point out that giving someone rude feedback makes it a much more bitter pill to swallow. anyone who's had passive aggressive to outright aggressive responses on fanwork or fanart can tell how it can ruin your day.

but what's not fair is framing all criticism like that. And I think Viv definitely has a habit of grouping all criticism into the bad faith category, even if the poster is going out of their way to try and be fair or polite. When you're a big creator it's easy for that happen because you get overwhelmed by the volume of feedback, but I think when it does and a creator just ends up getting hostile to all criticisms then that's when it's time to step back.

Viv talks about how if she responds or doesn't, she'll be critized and can't win. but I think she has at least some responsibility for creating the expectation that she might respond if people tweet at her because she can't seem to stop herself from engaging.

the Hellaverse fandom is super parasocial and she's made it actively worse by liking tweets that defend her writing or paint her detractors as engaging in bad faith (not to mention she admitted to not watching Diregentlemen's video on her and kind of implied she was vaguing about them that one time, when if she'd bothered to watch their video instead of just seeing them tweet about the show or the vids they'd made she'd know they went out of their way to say they wanted to like the show and they had praised it in the past).

People get the impression she's defensive and can't take criticism because she's responded that way consistently - she won't log off and be a creator who holds the fanbase at more of a distance, as some other creators do, but she also won't accept any criticism at all and encourages her fans to do the work of filling in the show's gaps for her, then likes tweets attacking people who criticize her or calling them names. To me the reality of how she 'can't win' comes down to her behavior - she doesn't have the type of personality who can stand any critique, so she should disengage, but she's also too addicted to trying to control the narrative that she won't do the one thing that might help. And she seemingly won't hire someone to do PR on her behalf, either

how does she expect anyone viewing this from the outside of her diehard stans to think of her? it is unprofessional and she does come across as unable to take criticism and that's even before adding in the allegations that she trash-talks other creators and is so thin-skinned she wants her animators to work solely on her shows. and I suspect her approach hasn't changed much given she's said herself she had that reputation for a long time

Well said.

Let's face it, nobody likes criticism. Nobody likes when your work is the subject of takes you believe are completely asinine, but most people hoping to make a career of it learn pretty early on not to google their own names. Nothing good comes of it.

Viv likes to present herself as the world's saddest victim of the cruelest, dumbest criticism ever spoken, that she loves "helpful" criticism, but she's shown time and time again that it's all the same to her. She's cut people like Ken and Kyra out of her life altogether for criticizing her in the gentlest way possible; her world's continued to spiral because she just couldn't let "My name is Caine, I am your bitch" go. And just like you said, she has absolutely zero problem dishing it.

She's a shallow bully with a wet tissue paper ego. And people are starting to wake up to that fast.

[g-xix]

DEJI DATING HEADCANNONS

J watched the Sidemen biggest v smallest car roadtrip vid and I just gotta say: Goddamn I love Deji. He's so cute man 😭😭😭

Quickly! Pose for the pic:

Sensational. Anyways, here's some HCs of what I think it'd be like dating Deji:

------------------------------------------------------

-Bro cannot do long distance for the LIFE of him. He's either booking a ticket to come with you if you need to go, or he's already booked a ticket for you to travel with him. Anything longer than about a five day business trip or whatever is too much for this mf to handle

-And whenever you come back from somewhere he always greets and hugs. No half arsed "Oh you're back are you? How was it?" This mf opens the door for you, hugs you and takes your bags in (Even if you've just gone to the coop round the corner) and asks a bunch of questions about whatever you did and tells you everything he got up to as well

-Literally cannot maintain eye contact without then wanting some form of contact. Did you see that man square up to Ethan? Ten seconds of eye contact and he went to kiss him. If you make a joke or look up and say something at him, he's looking down at you and grinning before needing to give a quick kiss or put his arm around you AT LEAST

-He'd be weirdly good with meeting the family? Like at first I reckon you're parents would be a bit confused by him, but if you introduced him to any younger siblings he'd love to play with them and laugh and go along with whatever game they get him involved with. I feel like I can litr imagine him engaging in dress-up and tea-party shi with one of your younger siblings. And I think that's what'd make your parents come around and support him, then feeling more happy about him once they'd seen him so soft

-In a weird way I feel like he'd be more romantically than sexually inclined? Like, he'd live quite a Pinterest-inclined relationship where you go on picnics and make homemade food together, and overall live a lot more of a stay-in type of life. 

-Deji's so hug motivated. Whatever mood he's in, this mf is so down to cuddle. If he's sad he wants to just cuddle n talk quietly to cheer up. If he's happy he wants to hold you just to share the moment. If he's tired he wants to fall asleep with you in his arms. And tbh I bet he's the best hugger- he'd deffo hold on until you began pulling away- he doesn't EVER cut a hug short.

-So lalala whilst you're the okokok to the relationship

-----------------------------------------

If u got any ideas of HC's for what else Dej's like in a relationship, comment them and I'll add them in along w your username bc I have sm Deji brainrot atm

[clericofshadows]

nothing will shine as bright

Description: Post ME2 Prologue Era--Kaidan brings Zaeed to meet his family, and some of Regis's family is along for the ride.

Title is from The Sun, The Moon, The Star - Æther Realm

Pairing: Kaidan Alenko/Zaeed Massani, past Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard

Sequel to: so let love reign.

The ride over to his family’s orchard was light.  All of them making meaningless conversation, getting to know each other and catching up.

The way Vik and Zaeed chatted implied a deeper friendship, but Vik was always the type to be able to engage with anyone.  Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that they knew each other beyond basic Omega business.  Kaidan had made himself comfortable leaning against Zaeed, looking forward to seeing his parents again but also a little worried about how the meeting would go.

A part of him worried about his age–Zaeed was older than his mother but just under his father’s age.  Not that he thought his family would judge him for that, but it was still… a worry.  

His father was a bit of an unknown.  He loved Regis right from the beginning, even after learning what part he played in the action that ended BAaT.  Even considered Regis a son of his before they got together.  It surprised the hell out of Kaidan seeing how well Regis accepted the attention from Eduard Alenko.

Again, Kaidan doubted it would be an issue.  Dad was always the type to trust his judgment and take no bullshit.  Mom seemed to like Zaeed on the vid call, only being caught off guard about how soon it was… Something Kaidan was still a little uncomfortable with if he had to be honest, but Regis more or less blessed their relationship.

Always looking after him, knowing him too damn well.

If all goes well, they’ll make Zaeed an honorary Alenko in no-time.  Zaeed never talked about his family, and Kaidan never wanted to pry just yet. Maybe he’ll like the attention.  Maybe he’ll fight it off.  Time will tell.

Adrian, a good pilot as ever, made the trip smooth and quick, landing the skycar out in the field near the main house.  “We’re here!” he announced, opening the doors with a press of a button.  

They all climbed out of the skycar, getting their bags and heading towards the house, where his mother was waiting with open arms.  “Hope you all had a good trip!” she greeted, walking towards them.  “Good to see you both.” She shook Vik’s hand and gave Adrian a hug.

And then she turned to him, breaking out into a smile.  Kaidan opened his arms, always ready for one of her warm hugs.  “I’m so glad you could make it, sweetie.”

Kaidan smiled.  “Of course.  Always happy to stop by if I can.  Beautiful weather for today!”

“And that’s exactly why your father is grilling out in the back,” she said, pulling away.  She turned to Zaeed.  “Zaeed, was it?  Happy to have you here!” 

“Happy to be here,” he echoed with a nod.  “You have a nice slice of paradise out here.  The kind of gorgeous place I’d like to retire one day.”

“Many generations of our family have been here,” she said, starting to walk back to the house.  “And we always love to host friends and more of the family."

Zaeed looked lost, seemingly not knowing how to reply to that.  His mother could be intense sometimes with her love of hosting, welcoming anyone into her home.  Kaidan reached over and grabbed his hand, following his mother to the house. "She's right, you know.  This may be your first time here, but if you make a good enough impression…" he trailed off grinning. 

"In which I have no doubt you'll be able to do," Vik piped up from behind.  

She laughed. "Tell me if I need to back off and I will.  I'm just happy Kaidan has someone outside of us and the Alliance in this unfortunate mess."

"I'm glad I was able to find the time to be there for him," Zaeed said softly. "It hasn't been easy on me either, hearing the news."

“No, it hasn’t,” she echoed.  She reached over to open the door, but Adrian beat her to it. "You charmer," she chuckled, heading inside. 

"Anyone want anything?  A snack, refreshments… I have all kinds," she said, heading straight for the kitchen. 

The aroma of freshly cooked bread filled the air as he made himself comfortable in the living room, mixed with other dishes being warmed in the oven.  If he had to guess, knowing his mother's preference for comfort food any time she knows he's heading home, there's plenty of baked and fried dishes waiting for him.  

"I think we're alright for now," Adrian said, shutting the door behind him. "Need to save room for that lovely meal!  Already smells amazing in here."

Zaeed sat down on the couch, leaning against he armrest. "Been a minute since I've had a home cooked meal.  Looking forward to it, ma'am."

Kaidan smiled at Zaeed's attempts to make a good impression, already knowing that his mother was bound to rebuke his attempts to be formal if he kept it up. 

"Hope it tastes as good as it smells. Eduard is nearly done, if you want to check up on him," she said, busying herself in the kitchen. "And Zaeed?  No need for that."

"Just trying to be a gentleman," he replied. 

"For me or for Kaidan?" She asked lightly, taking a tray of buns out of the oven.  His father must be grilling burgers if she made those. 

And here comes her way of telling Zaeed to be more casual.  Kaidan remembered when Regis was too formal when he first met his parents, still teenagers healing from BAaT. 

Looking back, it was clear then that Regis wanted something more.  He fell hard for him, but BAaT lingered around him, preventing him from making that first move, always worried that Regis thought worse of him after what he did. 

No, after what they did.  Kaidan may have made the killing blow, but Regis's stasis made it easy for him. 

Something Regis always reminded him of when his thoughts about BAaT kept him awake on sleepless nights. 

He really should tell Zaeed.  

Vik laughed as Kaidan watched Zaeed flounder, trying to figure out a way to respond. "Now, Aurelia, be nice to our guest."

"I am!  Tradition, I swear.  You don't want me calling you 'sir' so there's no need to call me 'ma'am.'" She said, waving a hand towel at him. "But if you insist on being nice, help me out in the kitchen. I could use some extra hands from all of you."

"You don't want me in there," Adrian protested, staying in the armchair.  

"I wasn't talking to you," she laughed as Vik got up, already checking on some of the pots on the stove. "How about you, Zaeed?  Any skills in the kitchen?"

Zaeed walked over, glancing at the filled oven. "I'm good at following a recipe.  But I'm a god–” He coughed.  “I’m good at grilling."

Nice save there, love.  "Mom won't wilt if you say a few curse words.  Remember Regis's mouth?" Kaidan said, joining his mother. “Always tried to exceed the supposed maximum number you can string together.

Kaidan recalled the first time Regis let out a string of curses in front of his parents, damn near burning up on the spot. Eduard burst out laughing and welcomed him to the family. 

She shooed him away. "Go help your father.  I'll order them around.  And he's right.  I'm married to an Alliance soldier, remember?"

"I'll keep that in mind," Zaeed said, giving Kaidan an incredulous expression. 

He shrugged minutely, already heading to the back door to the patio. "Try not to interrogate him too much, Mom."

"That's what the dinner is for!" She called back. She was probably joking. 

Hopefully. 

He was not about to recount the details of how they actually got together.  Especially about Omega. 

Not exactly the smartest place to go, but he and Regis wanted to let loose and well… they definitely did and more. 

His father had the grill going, a platter of burgers already piled up and waiting to be eaten.  Kaidan took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of smoky meat and the clear air outdoors. "Kaidan!  Did Aurelia send you out here?" He greeted, setting down his tongs and opening his arms. 

"She enlisted everyone else to help her finish up," he replied, giving his father a hug. "So that left me here with you."

"Well, I could use a food runner in a bit," he said, gesturing over to the table. "Going to start bringing some plates over."

"Always happy to help," he said, waiting by the grill. 

"How are you doing?" He asked, temporarily shutting the lid. "I know you spoke to your mother yesterday–and introduced your new beau–but I want to hear it from you."

Kaidan sighed, knowing this was bound to pop up. "Doing better day by day.  Zaeed helped me through something I was avoiding, and he's been great.  I think we both needed each other," he admitted. "We had history, you know.  The three of us, I mean."

"Aurelia said," he nodded. "That mysterious shore leave you went on a few years back, hmm?"

"Maybe," Kaidan said, not quite meeting his father's gaze, staring out into the distance, looking at the beautiful fields of his childhood home. "Regis left me a video that we watched together, and he damn near outright stated that he wanted Zaeed and I to get back together.  Basically gave me the blessing to move on."

"He knew you too well.  I guess you stayed close with him after your short leave?  I remember that you weren't off long." His father’s tone betrayed no judgment.  

"Not like you're probably thinking.  Stayed friends.  Met up a handful of times for drinks.  Nothing more until…" Kaidan trailed off, closing his eyes.  "We were Alliance soldiers and he was a merc that mostly roamed the Terminus system.  It couldn't have worked out."

"But it does now?" He asked, a knowing look in his eye. "Or else you wouldn't have brought him here.  Hell, it took you how long to invite Regis over?"

"Longer than it should've," he reluctantly admitted. "Things were a lot different then.  That's not a good comparison to make."

His father winced. "Sorry.  Does he know?" 

There’s only one thing he will be asking about here.  

"No.  Not yet.  I've been thinking of telling him while we're here."

"Don't rush it if you aren't comfortable."

"It's not that," Kaidan said. "He's seen my biotics.  He's not the type to judge, and I know he's not going to judge.  No, it's just…" he shook his head. "I've never told anyone about BAaT without Regis being there with me.  And we both wanted to tell him about it together."

And now we can't. 

"He was with me the whole time.  Yeah, at the time I had eyes on Rahna, and I know that hurt him. But he stepped up alongside me when Vyrnnus went too far and continued to support me in everything after. Everyone else there feared me, feared what we could do.  But Regis?" Kaidan let out a sigh, wondering if he should admit to his father what Regis said to him many times while reminiscing about BAaT. 

"He would've traded places with you," his father finished for him, coming to a realization. "Is that it?"

Kaidan nodded. "Yeah," he said, his voice breaking.  He cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure despite knowing his father wouldn't judge, not here, not now, not ever.  "Always pissed me off when he would say that, but I also knew where he was coming from.  After joining the Alliance, I understood the type of man he could be."

"Ruthless bastard with a heart of gold?" he asked, a smile gracing his features. "Dealt with a few of those types."

"Something like that," Kaidan couldn't help but laugh. "And now the Alliance wants another soldier like him."

"Is that what your meetings were about?  What are you going to do?"

"Become an N. Work closely with Admiral Hackett concerning high profile missions. Finish Regis's dream of better regimens and opportunities for biotics within the Alliance,” Kaidan explained.  His father opened up the grill and motioned for him to grab another plate.

“A very ambitious ideal.  Is this something you’re doing for yourself or because the Alliance wants you to?” His father took the ribs off the grill.

Kaidan replied, taking the now filled plate over to the table and grabbing another.  “To answer your question: I made sure to do this on my own terms.  The Alliance still wants Regis, but I’m going to make damn sure that they cut that shit out.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they start using his likeness as a damn recruitment tool,” he muttered, filling up another plate.  

“Neither would I, and honestly I don’t think even Hannah could put a stop to it,” Kaidan said bitterly.  He arranged the plates on the table, covering them with foil to keep them warm. 

“Coming through!” Kaidan turned to see Zaeed holding the door open for Adrian, who was holding a heavy casserole dish of baked mac and cheese. 

“I see she made you the food runner,” Kaidan chuckled, pointing to an open spot on the table.

“You know I can’t cook, so this is the best I can do,” Adrian said, setting the dish down.  

“At this point, all you have to do is watch the food,” His father said, shaking his head. 

Adrian shrugged.  “Do you want good food or not?”

He rolled his eyes, turning to Zaeed who was still hanging out by the door.  “Zaeed, was it?”

He nodded, finally making his way over to join them.  He stood next to Kaidan, keeping a bit of distance between them.  Kaidan pressed himself up against Zaeed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, squeezing him in close before letting go, trying to get him to chill out and relax around his parents.  “Dad, meet Zaeed Massani.”

“Eduard Alenko.  It’s my pleasure,” His father replied, setting down his utensils and wiping his hands down with a towel.  He held out his hand.

Zaeed shook his hand.  “Good to meet you, Eduard.  Beautiful place you have here.”

He smiled.  “That always seems to be the first thing people say.  And it’s true.”

Kaidan laced his fingers with Zaeed’s.  He gave him a smile in response, looking at him with open fondness.  

“So, you’re my son’s new beau.  You see, Kaidan here was a bit cagey on how you met.” Kaidan blushed at his father’s words.  “But he did mention you’re a merc.”

Zaeed glanced over at him before clearing his throat.  “I am, yes.  Mostly out in Terminus, occasionally in Citadel space.  These days I’m keeping an ear close to the ground, after all the shit that has happened.”

Seems he has already taken Kaidan’s words to heart.  

His father nodded.  “All I care about is knowing that my son has someone that’s not family out there with him.  Someone to keep an eye on him out in the black.”  He gave Zaeed a knowing look.

“I’m aware of exactly what Kaidan’s going back out there for, so I can do more than that,” he replied with a nod, not shying away from his father’s piercing gaze.  

“Do you have Alliance connections?”

“Have an old friend in the brass,” Zaeed said, keeping it vague.  Kaidan had a feeling his father would be grilling him about it later.  “Has its benefits, on occasion.”

His father finished plating up the hotdogs, sending Kaidan off to bring them to the table.  He shut the grill down for now.  “I’m sure it does.  I don’t like that my son is getting back out there so soon.”

“Neither do I, Dad, but… I need to do something. After what we saw, after what I saw… something big could be coming.”

“And everyone is blind to it.  Not like we can expect anything different.”

“Amen to that.”

The next few minutes were a flurry of dishes and food, such a large spread for the small group, but Mom would make sure they all head home with some leftovers and well wishes.  To his surprise, she even made a set of asari pies using fruit native to Thessia, an exorbitant cost that didn’t escape Vik’s notice.  

“You are a treasure on this planet,” they said, recognising the recipe as they brought them to the table.  “Did you happen to know this is my favorite?”

“I didn’t!  But I’m glad it is.  I’ve been wanting to try out some recipes and when I heard you were coming down I had to try it out. Hopefully it tastes good.  I promise I won’t be offended if you don’t like it,” his mother replied, sitting down at the table next to Kaidan.  Zaeed took the other seat next to Kaidan, and Adrian, Vik, and his father sat across from them.  

“I doubt that will be the case.  The few times I’ve been here, the food has been excellent.  Some of this is admittedly new to me.  Earth comfort food is what Adrian called it,” Vik replied, starting to grab food as they passed the dishes around.  

“We thought it would be a good menu to have.  Simple, but good,” his father said.  

“And many of these were Regis’s favorites,” Adrian said softly, placing a hand over Vik’s.  They smiled at him in return.  “I thank you for that.  He would have loved this.”

“Yeah, he really would,” Kaidan echoed.  “Didn’t escape my notice either.  Thank you.”

“Remember when we ordered that takeout that claimed to be ‘authentic Earth-American burgers,’” Zaeed started, the attention now on him.  “And Regis took one bite and biotically tossed the whole bag across the room?”

Kaidan laughed, stopping mid-bite.  “Yes!  I thought he was going to march to that restaurant and demand our credits back.”

“What stopped him?” his father asked.  

“Didn’t want to leave the room,” Zaeed chuckled. 

“So, you met on shore leave…” she started, trailing off.  “Willing to share any more details?”

“Yes,” Vik agreed, looking at the two of them.  Kaidan shared a look with Zaeed, who kept his expression carefully blank.  “Remind me when that shore leave was?”

Kaidan wasn’t about to lie to Vik, who was damn good at sniffing them out.  Likely from their many years of working on Omega.  “Going by the Earth calendar?  October of 2180.”

Vik smirked.  “You cheeky little bastards.  And you didn’t visit me?  Ah, I had to hear all about your adventures from the gossip.”

Kaidan shook his head as the table erupted in discussion.  Always stirring up trouble, Vik.  It’s why they and Adrian fit so damn well together.  “You were on Omega?” His father asked.  “Explains how you ran into a terminus merc.”

His mother shook her head, laughing softly.  “So you two were being scandalous, is that what Vikram is saying?”

Zaeed looked like he wanted to disappear, but he recovered quickly.  “They brought me in, hook, line, and sinker,” he leaned in close.  “Wouldn’t have had it any other way.” 

“Dammit, Zee,” Kaidan muttered, feeling his cheeks heat up.  Zaeed mouthed the nickname, tilted his head to the side, and kissed him on the cheek.  His mother cooed at their affection.

All good signs so far.  Doesn’t mean he won’t escape a grilling later.

“So, you’re saying it's a story a mother doesn’t need to hear about her son.  Got it.” She laughed, pulling Kaidan into a hug.  “Must have been a good trip if you stayed friends.”

“It was,” Kaidan finally recovered, leaning into his mother’s hug before breaking apart.  “And Vik?  Sorry for not visiting.”

“I’m just playing, darling.  I suppose I should offer my own apology for revealing your hand.  Just couldn’t resist,” they trailed off with a knowing grin.  “Come on, if you can survive me, you can survive this relationship.”

Adrian lifted up his drink in response.  Vik did the same, clinking their bottles together.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Vik?  Thought we were friends!” Zaeed said, shaking his head.

“Friends until they can fuck with you,” Adrian said with a knowing look. Vik punched him lightly on the shoulder. 

“No comment,” Vik replied.  “This food is excellent by the way.”  Both his mother and father beamed at the compliment.  

The conversation stilled as they dug into the food, making light chatter.  Zaeed managed to integrate himself well, fitting into their dynamic damn near seamlessly.

As they slowed down, the conversation changed.  “So, Zaeed, where are you from?” His mother asked.

Kaidan didn’t even know the answer to that.  

“All around.  I was a traveler.  Tried out a few different paths, even Alliance at one point,” Zaeed began. “I stayed out of the FCW, but I did eventually venture out in the black.  Found myself in Terminus, and here we are.”

“Is that where you got the Suns’ tattoo?” his father asked, touching the bare skin of his neck, the same spot where Zaeed’s tattoo was.  The air became tense.  Adrian and Vik both froze, waiting for Zaeed’s response.  His mother placed her hand on top of his father’s, giving him one of her signature eyebrow raises.  

Zaeed didn’t flinch at the question.  Instead, he leaned forward.  “Nothing escapes your notice, huh?  Waiting for a good moment to ask?”  His father opened his mouth to reply, his expression carefully neutral, but Zaeed beat him to it, waving it off.  “It’s not something I’m ashamed of.  Kaidan and Regis were both aware.  Hell, I was waiting for someone to point it out.”

Kaidan placed his hand on top of his.  Zaeed twisted his hand so that their fingers would be laced together.  “Zaeed was one of the founders,” Kaidan said in lieu of his boyfriend, making it clear that he’s well aware of his past.  “But that is history.”

“Never said it was current,” his father said, not quite backing down.  Not that he blamed him.  Kaidan and Regis both knew about his past, about Vido.  Not all the details but enough.  “I thought Batarians founded the Suns?”

The Suns’ logo isn’t obscure, but he knew it didn’t escape Adrian’s notice for sure.  He shouldn’t judge, and maybe that’s what they talked about after Kaidan and Vik talked about the T’Soni footage.  He may play at being a fancy civilian pilot, but he smuggles as much as he does legit runs.   

He should’ve known his father would recognize it.  Maybe his mother did too, not wanting to cause a stir. 

“It has long since become a goddamn cesspool,” Zaeed spat out.  Talking about the Suns was almost always a sore spot with him.  “Did we create it under the greatest of morals?  No.  I wasn’t a good man then.”  I’m not a good man now, Kaidan heard.  “It’s a part of me, and I won’t deny it.  Judge me if you want, but it’s a reminder that I survived.  Yes, you're right. The official story is that the Batarians founded it, but only after I was betrayed when I didn't want to employ them and get involved in their trades.” He pointed to the scar on his face, never letting go of Kaidan’s grip.  “I love your son.  I loved and still love the one you probably considered one too. And my biggest goddamn regret is not saying any of this shit sooner.”

Fuck.  They hadn’t said it to each other yet, but the feelings were understood, underneath the surface.  

“I love him too.  And my heart will never forget Regis.  Isn’t that what this get-together was supposed to be about?  Celebrating and remembering him?  Zaeed is a part of that.  He is a part of me,” Kaidan said, raising his voice.  “Of us.  And if you judge him, you judge Regis.”

His parents didn’t immediately respond, both seemingly at war with themselves.  Vik looked like they wanted to say something, but Adrian shook his head, stopping them.

Kaidan clenched his jaw.  “I’m going to get some air.  Thanks for the meal.”  He stood up and put his napkin on the table, ignoring his parents' protests.

He found himself halfway over to the barn where he and Regis kept their motorcycles.  He thought back to the damn helmets Zaeed had made for them, not even knowing about their hobby but wanting them to share in his.  Yet another thing that had in common.  Yet another thing that would’ve made their relationship great.  

Footsteps crunched the leaves behind him, and he whirled around to see Zaeed, hands stuffed in his jacket pockets.  “Wasn’t about to leave you alone.”

“Leaving me alone probably would’ve made them judge you even more,” he sighed, leaning against the wall of the barn.  “I’m sorry.”

“I wouldn’t make them the damn bad guys yet,” he said softly.  “Just worried about their son who lost the love of his life and is shacking up with a guy damn near twice his age.”

“Well, I’ll give them more to talk about.”  Kaidan unlatched the door of the barn and headed inside.  “Let’s go for a fucking ride.”

“The motorcycles you talked about earlier,” Zaeed realized as he followed him inside.

Kaidan pulled off the tarp that covered the bikes.  Regis’s red and black monster and Kaidan’s blue and silver slim machine looked as new and as clean as they were when they bought them a few years ago.

Same condition as they were when they drove off in the country after they returned home to tell the Alenkos the news of their Normandy notification.

“Fucking beautiful machines,” Zaeed breathed, leaning up against him. “You two were holding out on me. Damn, the helmet gifts were selfish on my part, but now I definitely realize how accurate they were.”

Kaidan kissed him on the cheek. “Thoughtful without even knowing it.  Regis was a stickler with his monster. I may have ridden it maybe twice as the driver.” He closed his eyes and let out a breath. “But he isn't here to bitch to me about it, so we're going to take his Alchemy for a ride.”

“I can hear him now,” Zaeed said, his voice rough. “Yeah, let's piss him off.”

Kaidan grabbed his helmet from the cabinet and passed a spare one to Zaeed.  They weren't in the best gear for riding, but nothing a quick flash forge of tech armor won't fix in a pinch. 

His codes still worked and the motorcycle roared to life in a loud purr.  All he could hear was the shout Regis would let out every time he got on his bike. 

Zaeed whistled. “If I didn't know him I'd say he was compensating for something.” 

“It's so ridiculous,” Kaidan agreed with a laugh, ignoring the wetness that started to gather around his eyes. “He loved it.”

“Yeah, I'm sure he did.”

Kaidan hopped on and Zaeed got on behind him, wrapping his arms around and resting his helmeted head on his shoulder.  A mirror to earlier today. 

With one last deep breath, Kaidan took off and drove towards the dirt road leading to the back of the property heading into the country. 

– –

They drove in silence, only letting the sound of Alchemy’s roar fill the air.  Zaeed never asked where Kaidan was planning on going, but he did have a destination in mind. 

About thirty minutes out is a little clearing next to a small pond, a short walk from the road. A favorite spot of Regis’s, due to the large, lone apple tree that provided a perfect bit of shade. 

A secret haven for the locals.  Many initials have been carved into that tree or at the wooden table and benches that have made their way over to the spot. 

A slice of life he wants to show Zaeed. 

The air was cool and slowly the sun was starting to set, but Kaidan didn't care.  He needed to get away for a moment, to get away from the judging, but loving eyes of his family and take Zaeed for himself.

Soon enough, they arrived and Kaidan parked Regis's motorcycle off to the side, powering it back down with his omnitool, the roar of the motor quieting down.  It felt like he was silencing Regis and his spirit.

“That's one damn good bike,” Zaeed said, unwrapping himself from Kaidan and stepping down from the bike, taking off his helmet. “I can see why he's so protective over it.”

“It amazes me he never went into engineering.  He just… forged his own path,” Kaidan said, running his hand down the side of the warm machine before taking off his own helmet.  He reached out for Zaeed's hand. “Follow me.”

He was a grounding presence as they walked the well-worn trail heading to the peaceful clearing, footsteps crunching the leaves and a soft breeze rustling amongst the trees.  Kaidan took in a deep breath, smelling the outdoors that was his home.

But it didn’t quite feel like home without Regis taking this trip with him.  

Zaeed was making it easier.

The trees parted to reveal the clearing, and Kaidan led him over to one of the picnic tables closest to the apple tree, sitting down with a sign.  Zaeed settled against him, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him in close to his side.   Kaidan rested his head on his shoulder, closing his eyes.  “I shouldn’t have stormed off.”

Zaeed let out a snort.  “Well, it led you to bringing me here, so it can’t have been that terrible of a decision.” “No, I guess not.  They would’ve heard that beast of his and immediately knew where we were going.  Fuck, I miss him.”  He let out a shuddering breath, trying to hold back the sob that threatened to escape.  

“This is where he wanted to propose, wasn’t it?” Zaeed asked.

“Yeah, it sure as shit was.  Look,” he pointed with a shaky hand.  “We even carved our initials on that tree.”

Many couples had done the same. His and Regis’s were near the heart of the tree.

“You sure did,” Zaeed said softly.  “Excuse me.”  Kaidan wanted to argue as Zaeed stood up, but he watched him find a spot just underneath their initials and added his own with a dagger carefully hidden in his boot.  He put his name above Regis so it was sandwiched between them.  

He was the glue that brought them all together in the end.

When Zaeed sat back down and put his arm around him, Kaidan broke, sobbing into his chest, thinking back to that damn video, that damn ring, that damn Regis.

Zaeed held him tightly, and Kaidan chose to ignore the wetness he felt on his head from where Zaeed was resting his chin.  Silent sobs wracked them both in the heart of the Canadian country, as the sun set and the stars that became Regis’s grave started to twinkle and shine.

But nothing will shine as bright as Regis and his biotics, a beacon on both the battlefield and in their hearts.  

Distantly, he heard the roar of a motorcycle, and they slowly broke apart, still holding each other tightly.  His omnitool pinged and he checked it while wiping his eyes.

Dad: May we join you?

Mom: We took your bike.  Sorry if I messed with your settings.  I have some of the Thessian pie, if you two just want some of that and we can go.

“Think we all should talk,” Zaeed said, clearing his throat.

Kaidan nodded, not exactly trusting his voice right now.

Kaidan: Come on over.  If you have tissues or at least napkins… that will be appreciated.

Mom: We sure do.

Kaidan didn’t reply, and tried to steel himself and regain some of his composure before his parents entered the clearing.  He knew this is where his mother proposed to his father, a little jewel of the country.  It’s a damn shame the apples weren’t in season.

Another thing he so desperately wanted to share with Zaeed.  Another thing he wanted to share with Regis once more.

They didn’t break apart for one moment, listening to each other’s heart beat, listening to the other’s breathing.  In and out.  One second at a time.

The tell-tale sound of footsteps traveling on leaves filled the air, and his mother and father approached them.  His mother was holding a picnic basket, while his father carried a small cooler.  

“Oh, sweetheart,” his mother said, rushing over to put the basket on the table and passing him and Zaeed some tissues.  “I’m so sorry.”

“No,” Kaidan said, his voice rough.  “I’m–”

“You don’t have a damn thing to apologize for,” his father interrupted.  “If anything it’s–”

“No one’s apologizing for a fucking thing,” Zaeed said with a finaility, all attention on him.  “So, let’s cry about Regis, eat some damn good pie, and see where it goes.”

Kaidan started to laugh, which initially sounded like a sob, his shoulders shaking until the laugh bubbled out of him, a loud bark utterly unlike him.  Zaeed joined him, squeezing him tight, and soon enough, they were all laughing.  Kaidan ignored the tears that sprung in his eyes, blaming them on the laughter.

Hope you’re happy, wherever you are, my love.  And also cursing my name for taking out your Alchemy.

When everything calmed and quieted down, his parents reintroduced themselves, Zaeed did the same, and was frank about his tattoo.  “I may not be a Suns any longer, but I do run a similar way of life.  That goddamn way of life brought me to Regis and Kaidan, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.  And now with all the shit that’s going on in the galaxy…”

“You can’t hang up your gun just yet,” his father guessed, and Zaeed nodded.

“And I also made a promise to keep an eye on him.  Can’t do that if I don’t have my goddamn gun.”  Kaidan leaned in to kiss his cheek, smiling at Zaeed’s words.  They must be a blotchy, wrecked mess, but he didn’t care.

His mother busied herself into passing out the pie and some bottled drinks.  Just water, knowing they had to ride back to the property in the dark.  “Vik and Adrian offered to come, but we didn’t know if you wanted a full party here.”

“Maybe not,” Kaidan said, taking the plate with a nod of thanks.  “You took my bike?”

“Aurelia insisted,” his father shrugged.

She nodded. “Been a while since your girl has been out. Quicksilver needed some love. Lord knows Alchemy did.  Think he's yelling at you right now?”

Kaidan paused mid bite, tilting his head to the side. “I don't know, actually.  Maybe the sight of Zaeed riding it with me could've made him pause.” He sniffed, setting down the pie and reaching for a clean tissue to blow his nose.  Reaching back for the pie, he took a bite, humming at the sour, juicy taste of the fruit.  “He would’ve loved this too.”

“Right, he always liked sour things,” his father said.  “Him and his weird obsession with hard lemonade, for one.”

Even his parents noticed that odd fact about him.  Sure, he would enjoy mixed drinks filled with syrup and fruit, but he’d always ask for hard lemonade if someone was buying or grab a case or two when it was their time to buy drinks.  

“He got that from Hannah,” Kaidan replied.  “Always bugged me that he never shared my taste for alcohol.”

“Make that our taste,” Zaeed said in between bites.  “This is excellent, by the way.  What did Vik think?”

“Asked for the recipe immediately,” his mother laughed.  “Said it was one of the best interpretations of the pie they’ve had in years.  And I got the feeling they meant decades.”

“Likely so,” Zaeed replied.  “Vik’s been around.  And well, I wouldn’t exactly be here without them.  Sort of.”

“Really?” Kaidan asked. “I could tell you both knew each other beyond passing.”

He rubbed at the scar on his face. “You already know that Hackett helped me out after I was betrayed.  Vik was the one that healed me up.”

Kaidan already knew all the other details.  How exactly he was betrayed.  His drive for revenge. This adds even more context. Probably even helped explain why Vik also accepted them so readily. 

“The same Hackett that is overseeing your new orders?” His father asked. “Small galaxy.”

Kaidan nodded, finishing his slice of pie. “Yeah, same person. Threw me for a loop when Zee told me about their past. Just means we have a good group here.”

“That it does,” his mother said, cleaning up the table and putting the dirty plates in the basket. 

“Vik made it clear about their own thoughts on our little… grilling of you, Zaeed. And I know you said no apologies, but I'm sorry for putting you on the spot about your past,” his father turned to Zaeed. 

“Like I said, it's fine. I don't blame you one goddamn bit. Thanks for letting me come.”

“It was no trouble,” she said. “Now, are you boys going to head back with us or enjoy the night air for a little longer?”

Kaidan looked over at Zaeed. “There's one more thing I'd like to talk about before we go. About… how I met Regis.”

To his relief, his parents didn't react other than a nod and wishes for a safe drive once they’re on their way, along with a message so they know when to expect them.  Zaeed looked at him curiously, but he didn’t protest until his parents were well out of their sight.

“Am I missing something?” He asked.  “I thought you two met in biotic training.  Unless you wanted some more alone time…” he trailed off, but his concerned look didn’t leave despite his suggestive comment.

Kaidan scooted closer to him on the bench, resting his head on his shoulder.  “That’s the easy way to put it.”  He took a deep breath, and he launched into the story of BAaT.  Of meeting Regis and Rahna and everyone else.  Kids under the wrath of a turian merc.  Kaidan’s own attitude and where that got him.  The friendship he formed with Regis early on, never noticing Regis’s feelings for him until after BAaT.  

Zaeed stayed a silent, steady presence next to him as he continued on, talking about their treatment.  The conditions they were under, the injuries many of them sustained, the lack of care all for results.  The red sand that was introduced for some.  Kaidan got very little.

Regis got a hell of a lot more.

“Explains why he smoked those damn Astras,” Zaeed interrupted.  “Always wondered how he got into that habit.”

Vik got him into it as a safe way to deal with the cravings.  They didn’t expect him to start using them more recreationally.  Kaidan wished he still had that old lighter that Regis gave him to hold onto so that he had to go through him for cravings. 

Even if he could light the damn things easily with his omnitool, he never did.  He was in control of his habit to an extent.  Kaidan can’t really say anything, though.

When Regis would smoke, Kaidan would share with him.

Kaidan nodded.  “Yeah, they dosed us to see the limits of what we could do.  It stopped after they overdosed one of the students.  Claimed it was a result of the implant, but we all knew what really happened.   Eezo overload and implant failure.”

Zaeed cursed, shaking his head.  “And something tells me there’s worse shit you haven’t told me about.”

Kaidan couldn’t help but laugh, which prompted Zaeed to let out another curse.  “I’m getting there.”

There was no use delaying it.  All the kids who had to use their biotics to build something.  The glass of water offered to Rahna, who reached out with her arm.

Kaidan springing to her defense after Vyrnnus broke her arm.  The talon to his face and then–a stasis.  But too late, as Kaidan already primed his kick and somehow snapped his neck despite Regis’s field.

The aftermath was easier to talk about now, with Regis’s words echoing in the back of his mind.  None of this was your fault.  We all wanted something to happen to him.  One day, they will see it like I do.

I wish it was me in your place instead.

When they took you away, I promised I would look out for you.  That hasn’t changed.

That will never change.

When Kaidan finished telling Zaeed about BAaT, he noticed a meteor streak across the sky, a bright white line that quickly faded into nothing.  He wasn’t sure what it meant, but he’d take any sign that Regis was out there.  “And there he is, still looking out for me.  Maybe he wasn’t pissed off about Alchemy.”

“You said he made you a promise, Regis doesn't break them lightly,” Zaeed said, looking up at the sky, waiting for a sign of his own, perhaps. 

“No,” Kaidan’s voice hitched.  “No, he doesn’t.”

Zaeed was quiet for a moment before pulling him into a hug. “I could tell how fucking hard that was to tell me.  I'm sorry you went through that. You both were goddamn kids.”

“Thanks,” Kaidan said, returning his hug and not letting go just yet. “It was just… a heavy burden to have weighing on us. Regis got off easy in comparison, and he tried to make sure I didn't let anyone get to me afterwards.” He closed his eyes. “That's when I knew he loved me.  Still took him a couple of years to make the first move. I was too scared, still too afraid of what I could be.  I could've worked through it on my own eventually, but he made sure I didn't have to do it alone.” Yet again, he could feel tears gathering. 

“And you aren't alone now. Not as long as you have me, godammit.”

“I love you.  Thank you for being here.”

“I love you, too. Thank you for letting me in.”

– – 

The drive back was quiet, their flash-forged tech armor helping to light the way on the dark roads that led back to his family’s property. 

Vik was waiting for them at the barn, sitting on one of the stools in front of the workbench. “Everything okay?” They asked. 

Kaidan powered down Alchemy after parking it next to his Quicksilver, deconstructing his tech armor. “Been better, but we're good.  Thanks for waiting on us.”

“Don't mention it.  Get some sleep, darling. Remember, you're also here to learn some new tricks before you get back out there.”

“Don't worry, I haven't forgotten,” Kaidan tried to return their grin, but it felt forced.  Vik luckily didn't comment on it. 

“And Zaeed, you are welcome to watch,” they said with a knowing look. 

“Might have to take you up on that.  I love seeing biotics in action.”

“You'll get plenty of that. Just remember whose home you are staying in,” they chuckled, and Kaidan felt his cheeks heat up at Zaeed's gaze. 

“Thanks Vik,” Kaidan rolled his eyes. 

“Anytime. Adrian helped get your old bedroom in order. All you have to do is get some sleep,” they repeated again with a pointed look. “I won't lie and say I was silent after you two left, but I think tensions were high solely because of who we were remembering.”

Kaidan was sure Vik was being tactful, and his parents did say that Vik got a few words in. “Regis wanted me–us–to move on.”

“I know.  My kid clearly cared for the both of you, and I wish he told me about you three,” Vik said, looking at them both. “But he's always been a secretive sort.  You should probably tell Hannah about this.  I think she’d appreciate knowing another aspect of her son.”

Would she?  Hannah approved of them, seemingly happy Regis found someone that managed to get him in the Alliance he was so seemingly against back when they first met and were talking about their lives and dreams.  Sometimes Kaidan wondered if his drive to join the Alliance caused Regis to do the same, knowing he had his own plans with his cybernetics education.

But Regis was happy in the Alliance.  Despite Torfan.  Despite his mother’s reaction.  Despite… the beacon.

Kaidan wasn’t sure how she’d react to him moving on so fast, even if he does give the extra details, send a few pictures, and bring Adrian and Vik in on this to help his case.

It’s a conversation he will have to have soon.

“I’ll talk to her,” Kaidan said, motioning for Zaeed to help him cover the bike.  “I had a meeting with her first about what to do next.”

“How was that?” Vik asked.  “I’ve only talked to her once since… the funeral.”  Still hard for them all to say.

“Fine, if a little… well.  You know,” Kaidan said, making a so-so gesture.  Vik nodded along.  They understood.  “I have her support in many ways, though.” “Personally and professionally.  Good,” Vik said with a nod.  “Well, I shouldn’t keep you.  Need you to be well rested.”

“Should I be worried?”

“No, I imagine you’ll be a good student.  Reaving, bubbles, and fields can take a lot out of you, so we’ll need plenty of calories. Especialy you.”  Vik got up from the stool.  “Which means if Zaeed is a good boyfriend, he’ll be supplying that for you.”

“Well, if the Alenkos will let me take over their grill, I’ll be a good boyfriend,” Zaeed said, grabbing his hand and tugging on it to urge Kaidan along.  

“So does that make Adrian a terrible partner because he doesn’t do that for you?” Kaidan asked.

Vik laughed.  “I love him with all my heart.  Keep him as far away from a kitchen as possible.  He makes up for it in other ways, and well, we don’t burn as many calories in comparison.”

“Huh, I didn’t know that,” he admitted, locking up the barn and making sure everything was powered down.  

“Younger maidens, yes,” they said.  “They need more energy to grow, just like your teenagers and young adults.  But once we mature beyond that, it evens out.  It’s still not the same caloric deficit.  I had to learn a lot of adjustments on the fly after BAaT.”  After they said the name of the program, they stopped and looked at Kaidan.  “Sorry, does he?”

“He does,” Zaeed answered.  “Just learned about it.  Fucking hell.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

“Not that it’s any of my goddamn business…” Zaeed trailed off, looking at Kaidan and Vik.  He knew where this was going.

Vik interrupted, “Why didn’t I teach Regis?”

Zaeed nodded, glancing over at Kaidan.  He returned his gaze with a nod, hoping that it told him he was fine with the question.  Kaidan honestly didn’t know, and he never asked Regis about it.  Considering Regis was always a little pissed at the whole situation every time it was brought up, it wasn’t something worth pursuing.  They were here now, and Regis tended to not dwell much on alternatives.  What happened, happened, and he was going to deal with it.

Well, with Regis’s unhealthy tendencies to hold a hell of a grudge.  What he would give to hear Regis rant again…

“Politics,” they damn near spat, the venom evident.  Kaidan wasn’t surprised.  It made sense.  After all, humanity’s biotics were all about the politics.

“It’s good PR to have the son of a high ranking Alliance officer endorse the program, right?  But I know Hannah wanted me to do it, despite me being an old Commando.  And I never really got the chance to teach him the way I wanted after he told me that he was joining the Alliance, but alas… I wouldn’t necessarily say that it would’ve been better for him to have learned from me.  It brought him to you, after all.”  Vik motioned towards him.

That’s what Regis would always say.  He never regretted BAaT because it brought them together.  Didn’t stop Kaidan’s vein’s from turning to ice.  Didn’t stop the feeling of relief that Regis was there anyway.  The selfishness of knowing him despite the torture they went through.

No, Kaidan thought to himself, it wouldn’t have been better for Regis to have learned how to control his biotics from Vik.

One thing he didn’t know, however, was that Hannah wanted Vik to do it.  “Did Regis know that his mother wanted you to teach him?”

Vik’s eyes widened, their markings stretching across their face.  “Wait, she never told him?  This whole time, she let him think that she blocked me from…” they shook their head.  “Can’t believe she let herself be turned into a bad guy.  Explains why Regis never really cornered me about it beyond when he first asked me about it.”

Kaidan knew part of that story.  A young Regis asking Vik to be his teacher, to be like the asari commandos he heard stories about as a kid.  But Vik only said to ask his mother, and that was the end of the conversation.

“In some ways,” Kaidan continued walking back to the house.  “She already was for not letting Regis spend more time on Earth, but that doesn’t explain why she never explained herself.  Unless… she didn’t want to poison the Alliance for him?  I don’t know.” He sighed.  “I’m sorry, there’s really no use speculating about it.”

“And Regis wouldn’t want us to anyway,” Vik said with undisguised frustration.  “I’d say the Alliance was poisoned for him long before BAaT.  Clearly BAaT and its ties didn’t deter him either, but you had a lot to do with that.”  Something… else was lingering in their tone that Kaidan couldn’t place.

He felt bold.  “In what way?”

“I’m not saying you forced him.  Goddess, darling,” They shook their head.  

“What are you saying?” Kaidan tried to keep his voice neutral, but the weariness and emotions of the day were bearing down on him.

“Sometimes I wonder what his life would’ve been like if he didn’t join.  That’s it.  But I’d imagine he would’ve followed me to Omega and used his cybernetics degree for all the right and wrong reasons, and ended up in another dangerous situation,” Vik sighed.  They stopped at the back door of the patio.  “Unlike Regis, I think about every damn thing. You think I wouldn't with how many centuries I've been alive, but I've never been good at acceptance.  He was destined for greatness and far away from the quiet life.  I’m just… I’ve lost a lot of friends and people I loved.  I didn’t expect to lose him so soon.”

Kaidan felt like a dick.  “Vik, I’m—”

“Sorry? Don’t be.  You are looking out for your love the same way I’m looking out for my kid.  What’s the phrase?  Water under the bridge?” They held out their hand.

Kaidan shook it, feeling the soft hiss of Vik’s corona intersect with his own.  A foreign sensation so unlike the field that would form between his and Regis’s.  

“Water under the bridge,” Kaidan repeated.  “You got it right.”

“Adrian’s a good teacher.  He also helped get your bedroom ready to go with your luggage.” Vik stepped aside to open the door.  The lights were off in the house.  His parents must’ve already gone up to bed.  

“Thanks,” Zaeed said with a yawn.  “It’s been a long day.”

“Especially for you both,” Vik said as they all walked quietly up the stairs.  Adrian waved at them from the hallway.  His hair was down from its usual bun, and to Kaidan's amusement, he was wearing a long-sleeved shirt with asari writing on it.

“Hope you had some good time alone,” he said, opening his arms for a hug.  Kaidan accepted it, inhaling deeply, smelling the same hint of citrus that Regis loved in his own scents.  He knew they used the same hair products, both enjoying taming and styling their curls best they could.  Another indulgence Regis loved was expensive self-care products, comparing notes with his uncle.

“We did,” Kaidan said quietly, pulling away.  “Thanks for waiting up.”

Adrian waved it off.  “Anytime.  You’re basically my surrogate kid, so I’m going to be your surrogate uncle and tell you to get some rest.  Also because Vik is going to kick your ass tomorrow.”

Kaidan rolled his eyes but was smiling all the same.  “We’ll see about that.”

“I look forward to it.” Vik bowed.  “Good night to the both of you.”

“Good night,” Kaidan said, and Zaeed nodded, following him to his old bedroom at the end of the hall.

It was nearly as he left it the last time he and Regis visited.  The bed was already unmade, piled high with warm blankets and pillows, his old blue comforter a nice sight to see.  His walls were still covered with old pictures and posters, and Zaeed looked around, taking them in, grinning at some but never saying anything.  He stopped at an array of photos on his old dresser.

Photos from when Regis was visiting in between his classes and when he graduated with his cybernetics degree.  Still young and before they enlisted.  Kaidan did a bit of schooling online, but finished his biology background by going into a specialty medic track while in the Alliance.  

Zaeed picked another photo up.  Regis was grinning in his graduation regalia, holding up his degree while Kaidan kissed him on the cheek.  He remembered his mother taking that picture, smiling and laughing at their affection. 

“He was so young,” Zaeed said.  “No tats, no scars… looks completely different.”

“Torfan changed him,” Kaidan said, taking the photo from him and putting it back on the dresser.  “Face was still full of metal though.”

“Sure was,” he laughed.  His gaze turned to another picture, taken not long after BAaT.  It was a selfie of Regis Kaidan had framed, always pulling it back out every time Regis tried to hide it.

It still had Regis with his natural green eyes instead of his gene modded red.

“Didn’t know he used to have green eyes either,” Zaeed said, probably thinking of his own.  “We could’ve matched.”

Kaidan has thought about that too.  “Not long after BAaT is when he got into body mods.  It was like no time at all when he started changing things about himself.  Going for a face full of piercings, full sleeves of tattoos… he didn’t get the neck ones until after Torfan.  His chest wasn’t long after he got the ones on his neck.”

“And the one on his back?”

“Not long after we landed in Omega,” Kaidan said, wishing he could trace the lines of that cybernetic heart.

“I knew the story behind his neck.  Hell, when I got his Black Widow, I saw that skull of his staring back at me,” Zaeed said.  “His arms were because of his father, right?”

“Porcelain flowers because of his late grandmother’s tea sets.  Yggdrasil directly because his father had one on his back.  Treated like a connection to Earth, and I asked Regis if I could get it too.” Kaidan rubbed his leg where the tattoo was.  “Damn near knocked me over with the kiss he gave me.”

“I can imagine that… think it’ll be okay if I get some of his flowers on my hip?” Zaeed asked quietly, almost hesitant.

Kaidan leaned in for a kiss, soft and sweet.  “I think he–and I–would like that.  I was going to get a big piece done on my back as well.  Haven’t decided what yet.  Maybe a bit of eezo ink too.”

“Sounds like something we can try to do together.”

“I’d like that.”  Kaidan let out a yawn.  “Best get to bed.  Sounds like Vik is going to kick my ass tomorrow.”

“Do you know exactly what they’re going to teach you?  Haven’t heard any of that biotic shit before–well, maybe bubbles.” Zaeed asked as he grabbed his luggage, sorting through his bed clothes and grabbing his toiletries.

“A few things.  I sort of know the theory behind them, but it’s not going to be easy.”  Kaidan started to unpack his clothes too, grabbing what he needed and starting to tug off his clothes before pulling on the soft red plaid pajama pants he stole from Regis.  A bit too long on him, but they were something to steal.

He walked into the bathroom and turned on the light.  Zaeed settled behind him, shirtless against his own bare skin, wrapping his arms around his stomach as Kaidan began to brush his teeth.  “Either way, it’ll be a hell of a show.”

Kaidan hummed, going through the motions before spitting out the paste.  “Just wish Regis were here to do it with me.”

“So do I.” He kissed the top of his head and swapped places with him.  “My turn.”

So easy to get lost in the domesticity.  Kaidan wished they had a few more days.

– –

Kaidan stared at his omnitool while sitting on the edge of the bed, thinking back to what Vik said earlier about Hannah.  It was late, but he knew she kept long hours.  And he doubted she, like the rest of them, was getting much sleep lately.  

Zaeed was already under the covers, scrolling on his own omnitool.

It will be just a quick call.  He can also update her on the T’Soni situation from his perspective, hoping that Hackett already had that conversation with her.

“Going to call his mother?” he asked.  

“Thinking about it.”

“Then do it.  Need a minute alone?”

Kaidan shook his head.  “No, but I am going to pull on a shirt.”  He reached for the sweatshirt he brought with him, branded with the Alliance marines symbol, and tugged it on.  “I’m going to tell her about us and what we had with him, but I won’t make you part of the call unless she asks.”

“She’s going to ask.  She’ll know,” he laughed, but it didn’t sound carefree.  A little strained, either from the weight of the day or facing yet another meeting with a parent.

Kaidan snorted and got up to sit at his desk, sending her a quick message.

She replied nearly instantly with a link, no message attached to it.

Kaidan took a deep breath and opened the link, keeping his bed out of the view.  She appeared on the other side, her dark black hair down in waves instead of its usual bun.  She looked tired, older, wearing a purple turtleneck that immediately reminded him of Regis.

“Hackett told me you were with family and to not bother you.  What’s wrong?” She asked.

“Nothing’s wrong, but Vik wanted me to talk to you about something.  First, need me to talk about the whole thing with T’Soni?”

She waved it off.  “Not now.  What more can you say?  I know Regis didn’t want her on board, and more than that, I realize how idiotic the Council was for not putting her up in protective custody when he asked.” She scoffed.  “He made a hell of a choice that day.  Though, it shouldn’t surprise me by now.”

“That he’s willing to sacrifice to get the outcome he wants?” Kaidan challenged, unable to prevent himself from striking out.

“No.” Her face was still.  “That he was willing to make the ballsy choices that would have nearly every admiral in this leadership squealing.  If he didn’t keep back our fleet, he could’ve doomed the goddamn galaxy.  Of course, no one’s going to see it that way,” she sighed.  “But I’m with you and him on that.  He did the right thing.  Always tried.”

Kaidan bit back his comment.  Should’ve told him that more often.  

“I know what you want to say, and trust me, I have plenty of regrets.  So, why was Vik wanting you to talk to me?” 

Hannah was always good at reading people.  But not her son.

How to best start this story… “Remember the man in Regis’s will that he gave his arsenal to?  The ones that weren’t on the Normandy?”

“I do,” she nodded, narrowing his eyes.  “It wasn’t the time to ask or contest when we were handling it.  Who is he?”

Kaidan let out a breath.  “Zaeed Massani was an old temporary third in our relationship a few years ago.”

To her credit, her expression barely changed, save for a slight widening of her eyes.  “And when you say temporary…”

“A few weeks.  An ill-advised shore leave on Omega that showed we were a little in over our heads…”

“And you met him there,” she guessed, not accepting the bait for the story.  He was grateful for that.

Kaidan nodded.  “It’s a bit of a long story but… yes.  We mutually agreed to pursue him and well… we stayed friends after we parted ways.”

“Had to if he willed his goddamn Widow to him.  Skull engraving and all?”

“Skull engraving and all,” Kaidan echoed.  “He’s not just some friend to us.”

“But I didn’t know him,” she said, lacing her fingers together on her desk.

“Vik and Adrian didn’t either in that way,” Kaidan said.  “Vik only knew Zaeed in passing due to their work.  Adrian mostly knew Zaeed because of Vik, not because of us.”

“Runs in the same circles as Vik, huh.  So, what are you going to tell me next?  Don’t tell me he’s part of T’Loak’s circle…”

He was sure Zaeed had to be careful to not make himself known at that comment.  “He’s an independent merc.”

She nodded, leaning back in her chair.  “Okay.  What is this really about, Kaidan?  You call me late at night to tell me of an ex-fling of yours that ended up making such an impact that Regis willed his goddamn armory to him.  Well, that’s now explained because of his work.  But why did Vik want you to tell me this?  Another reminder that my son and I never talked to each other?”

Kaidan let her rant, keeping his face still.  Here goes nothing.  “Regis gave me a separate video for me to watch.  I finally watched it.”

“He recorded me a short one too,” she said, her face softening.  “What did he say?”

“He wanted me to move on with my life.  Find someone else.  And in that video, he mentioned Zaeed by name.”

Her face, again, betrayed nothing. 

So, he continued.  “When I left Arcturus, I met up with Zaeed before even knowing about the video.  He just happened to be on Earth.  So, I finally faced that damn video with him by my side, and Regis dropped that bomb out of nowhere.  Regis hoped that Zaeed would be that person for me to rely on and one day love.” His voice caught on the last word.  “And Hannah, I loved your son.  I love him still, but… Regis gave me his goddamn blessing and I’m not about to waste an opportunity we both wanted after that shore leave.”  He didn’t think he still had tears to cry, but more threatened to fall.

“You don’t need my fucking blessing for anything, kid.  Regis… found himself with you.  And I am so grateful that he had you, and I’m sure your parents felt the same way about him.  Do I think this is too soon?  Maybe.  You need time, but time isn’t something any of us have these days.  Just… introduce him to me at some point.  I’d like to know the man that managed to pull both of you in,” she said, crossing her hands on top of each other on the table.  

Kaidan never expected that response out of her.  Likely due to Regis’s influence, his own thoughts on his mother seeping into whatever opinion Kaidan tried to create on his own.  

But there were too many times that made it difficult for Kaidan to paint her in a good light.

“Thank you,” Kaidan said, wiping at his eyes.  “I don’t want you to think that I’m just throwing away what we had.  We were so damn close to tying the knot.”  

“It took Atlas and I years,” she said.  “I understand.  Find your peace.  I wish I could find mine.”

“Vik wanted me to call you because I’ve already brought Zaeed down to meet Mom and Dad,” Kaidan blurted.  

This time, she did react, not hiding her shock.  “Already?  And how did that… no, it’s not any of my business.”  By the way she sounded, she definitely thought it was her business. “A couple of rough spots but… they want me to be happy,” Kaidan said, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“And I want that for you too, truly.  So, you called me to size up my reaction.  Fair enough.  If he’s okay with that, I want to at least say hello,” she said, quickly recovering.  

Kaidan didn’t have to say anything.  Zaeed got up from the bed, pulled on his tank top, and moved into the frame.

“Wait a second… you’re Hackett’s old–” she cut herself off.  

“He knows,” Zaeed said, moving to put a hand on his shoulder.  “He knows I’m his old friend and old beau.  Nice to meet you, Admiral Shepard.”

“Just call me Shepard, Massani,” she said with a laugh.  “Fucking hell, this galaxy is tiny.  Explains why your name kept gnawing on me, but I couldn’t place it.  Never been good with names…” she trailed off.  “My kid must’ve trusted and loved you a lot to give you his gun.  That’s all the endorsement I need.”

“I carry it with pride,” Zaeed said.  “I know the meaning of what he engraved on it.”

“Good.  Take care of each other.  We’ll talk more later.  You both look tired.”

“Yeah, it’s been a long day,” Kaidan said, stifling a yawn.  

“I bet,” she said, giving them both a small smile.  “Between the bullshit going on with that asari, your impending future, and introducing your partner to the family… get some rest.  Give the Alenkos my love.  I’ll try to make a trip down soon.”

He thought it was funny how she gave meeting the parents the same level of stress as all the other shit going on in his life.

“I will.  They’ll be happy to host you.”

“That I know for a fact.  Take care of each other.  Not just for Regis, but yourselves.  Might need to get some stories out of you.”  Before Kaidan could reply, she closed the link.

Zaeed squeezed his shoulder tighter.

Kaidan felt a little lighter after having that conversation, but now, all he wanted to do was snuggle up with Zaeed for as long as he could. A part of him also wanted to grill her more on the BAaT story he learned from Vik, but this wasn't the time.

And really, there wouldn't be much of a time without Regis there with them.

[matchadobo]

KIDD; dates with college kidd

summary: a part two of my college au of kidd. after school dates with name would usually go like this. you can read the part one here, i recommend reading it first bc it would be more dreamy and immersive before you read this but you can also read this independently tw: fem reader, NOT PROOFREAD AT ALL HADSASHD, no warningsssss all fluff i promise, a little bit suggestive like 3%

would wait for you in his motorbike after school and pick u up

after school dates would go one of three ways:  be at billiards, a local pub, or the arcade

billiards date

he’d be the type to pout angrily while playing when he invites you and you say no 

would be insaneeeely good at billiards, so fucking brilliant that it’s so hot

would take his time to circle around the board, he may not seem like it but he analyzes it so carefully

he’d look like those athletes in the zone. lips pressed together, eyes darted directly at the white ball, bent down so perfectly his ass fr lookin tight, sinewy arms stretched out and fingers precisely positioned  around the end of the stick, with one exhale he hits the ball and always manages to score  multiple  balls in holes

“babe, watch closely.” 

“i’m hella good at this, look.”

“gonna score this for you, don’t look away.”

each time he does score he’d look at you and give you a lopsided grin, making you blush each time

he knows you’re staring and he knows what he does to you that’s why he does everything to make you into a blushing mess

in the event that you agree to play billiards and he teaches you, he gets so up close behind (bc he wants to feel your ass) and places your arm in the right places and fixes your form.

the boys would whine, asking you two to get a room

each time you screw  up he’d laugh at you and call you dumb but still coach you

and when you score even if it’s just 1 ball, he’d either place a kiss at the top of your head or a smack you in the ass

you two’d always share a bottle of booze and goes home tipsy

by the time you two go home, it’d most likely be night since this man’s an addict 

in a local pub

he’d always have an arm around you

rubbing circles on your shoulders or thighs

he always has to be touching you in some way, otherwise he’d be pouting and more irritated

he’d let you sit on his lap as he bury his face on your back and falls asleep 

would often touch you in sensitive places and leave you hot and bothered

once you nag him about it tho he’ll stop

he’d tell you not to get drunk so much bc you go dumber but he’d always be passed out

he and the boys would always be the loud ass men in the pub, laughing and screwing around

whenever a guy even tries to hit on you or look your direction he’d immediately pull you closer and points at the homie giving him a finger

you guys would always play drinking games, card games, bets, and such 

when it’s time to go home, you’d always ask killer to drop you off at home and kidd will sleep over for the night at your dorm/house

he’d be wasted asf killer had to carry him to your room

he’d mumble shit at you and be painfully clingy than normal

he’d snoRE LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING TUBA so sleeping would be hella difficult

in the morning when he has hangover, you’d give him coffee and leftovers and he’d be a-ok

would go to school lookin like a hot mess: no eyeliner, plain ass shirt, normal jeans, sneakers, bedhead not even styled

arcade

this happens rarely, when a major quiz, tasks, or exams just finished, you guys celebrate here usually or at a bbq place

your ig story would always be filled with karaoke vids, polaroids with him or with the entire circle trying to fit in the small ass photobooth, claw machine troubles, whack a moles, aggressive basketball, ddr vids, you name it!

 he’d go waaaaaaay overboard with basketball, would compete with strangers and trash talk them but he ends up being friends with them

he’d be playing claw machines and end up malding, saying it’s dumb and rigged. but he’d be persistent in getting you a plushie, praise him when he does!

bumper cars are his absolute favorite! doesn’t hold back, not even to you. he’d crush all of you. he always has fun chasing you whenever you fumble around the wheel. he’d be keen on terrorizing and bumping into everyone, even strangers. each time he plays, children would actually cry and find him scary 😭—leaving him all the more ecstatic

the same could be say for his competitiveness and childishness at racing games, air hockeys, and shooting games. he’d terrorize everyone, regardless of relationship, gender, or age 😭

after the lot of you have tried each game, your last destination is the bowling area. as expected, he’s exceptionally good at it. would always score a spare or strike, walking away from the pit with open arms and an arrogant grin in his face.

name: what a show off kidd: but you love it so much, don’t you?

usually, that was the last game area and the circle would part ways. you and him would always go to the photobooth, he’d always initiate it. you two’d always leave a line waiting bc he gets too enthusiastic with kissing you on the photos. he’d always squish your cheeks in the photos, kiss them, bite them, or pinch them. he’d have an arm around you, kissing the side of your head,. give you horns with his fingers, or has a middle finger on display. always has his tongue out, and is always on a 🤘pose. he’d say the heart pose is cringy but you’d force him to it. but mostly, it’s just goofy ahh pics that end up blurry bc you two cannot stay still and are always laughing.

you two will have dinner at some place and he drives you home. 

just blurted this out cuz i miss him

[olderthannetfic]

Hi! So I have a rambling explanation that’s going to lead into a genuine question about making a website somewhat like a03 or finding alternatives to a site I will mention (it’s not a03 don’t worry)

I am a non/disney editor, crossover artist, amv maker and deep faker and any other term for “make videos of characters in canon or au type scenarios to music”. I’m also a fanficcer. And I remember when being wary of Anne Rice and Archie Comics and DC was a thing. A teacher, to cover his ass for an assignment of mine, taught me how to write an apology letter to a company on the offhand my hand written basically Batman fanfiction, made it’s way online or was heard about. I was in the tail end right before A03 but I am extremely grateful that the site exists. Okay. So now I need to talk about the Owl House. In season three episode special one, Luz Noceda makes an amv coming out to her mom.

Editor friends in a private discord were both happy and worried. Luz is one of us….but also Disney knows about us, to some level. Nothings happened I’ve just been stewing and I’m just worried something might hit the fan for the community given many of us use Disney media (hard not to when 80% of things put out is by them) So I’m asking how one would make a platform like A03 but for video media. Or if there’s things you know like that. YouTube is getting more and more difficult for anyone nowadays too.

Again, nothings really happened yet, I just can’t get it out of my head

--

Video is worlds harder than text, but you know that.

There are a couple of approaches here: First, more is more. The more sites you have your stuff on, the smaller the chance that Disney can nuke all of them. Second, if you're not just using youtube and getting good at playing the algorithm, you need some way for people to find you or to keep track of all your alternate hosting.

Vidders of the oldschool sort have taken to using AO3. It doesn't have native hosting, of course, but it provides a stable URL and useful fandom-based tagging without algorithm bullshit. It's also a decent way to get vids out there if you only have download links and no streaming (though, of course, that means fewer views). You can embed a bunch of different copies of the same thing in the same work.

I don't know of a ton of fannish attempts at video hosting that are open to everyone. The only person I can think of who's heavily working on that is the guy behind Vidders.net who has a few different projects going.

For other hosting options, I'd see what AO3 currently has whitelisted for embedding. Two obvious ones are Critical Commons and Archive.org.

--

Broadly, yes, fanvids and AMVs have been subject to even more disastrous mass deletions than fanfic has, and far fewer of them have been saved by other fans because video files are huge.

Oldschool AMVs in the strict sense (i.e. Japanese anime and not Disney) are catalogued and sometimes hosted on animemusicvideos.org. Oldschool Media Fandom has some vidding archivists, and really old stuff was released on tape and then disc, and people still have their copies of those. But online-only fannish video stuff from the 00s and 10s has massive gaps in the historical record already.

Disney is quiescent now, but they haven't always been, and neither have other rights holders. Worse, a bunch of hosts vidders liked just up and deleted their entire sites, wiping out eras of videos and commentary.

Your stuff is in less danger than it would have been 10 years ago, as far as anyone can tell, but video is always in massive danger of disappearing.

--

If you actually succeed at video!AO3, more power to you! I'm just skeptical that you'll be up to the technical and financial challenge if you don't already know more than you currently do, you know?

Hosting video has, among other problems, the issue that people trading actual abuse materials will upload their videos to your service. Hosts often play whackamole with illegal and traumatizing content. I've known people whose jobs exposed them to this shit, and they were... not okay.

I guess you could make things slightly easier on yourself if you restricted video to cartoons only, but then you'd have the same issues amvs.org does where people who start as one kind of editor start working with other footage and keep trying to upload the wrong thing.

It's often not really viable to host unless you make everyone pay and/or you're authorizing a few dozen accounts of people you've vetted, not running a service just anyone can sign up for. Hosting a hundred videos for friends that you have reviewed and know to be fanvids/amvs is a lot easier than hosting enough stuff that you can't personally review it all.

If you or anyone else is interested in trying to start a site, I'd go check out the various writings by Denise (who runs Dreamwidth). She has some twitter threads and posts on enforcement and running a platform. I remember she talked about the tech people use to detect CSAM from known law enforcement databases.

I don't want to be a downer here, but there are serious legal implications to being the actual host as opposed to just running a discord or something on someone else's platform and reporting some fucker if they try to post illegal shit.

--

If I were you, I'd get my buddies together, embed all our works on AO3, and then maybe make a collection or tagging standards so we could find each other's stuff.

For hosting, I'd add the Internet Archive, Vimeo, Dropbox, Google Drive, etc. to Youtube and do a periodic audit of AO3 works to make sure links were still working.

AO3 already has a lot of tags that have been made filterable, like Fanvids, AMV, Video Format: Streaming, etc.

[georgiapeach30513]

Like husband like wife, once the work is done/canceled they both deleted past work...

I really don't see how "Chris" going 100% business on IG is gonna work. RDJ it worked because it's, well...RDJ. He's not just a pretty face. Chris is just a pretty face and his vulnerability and silliness and candid-ness was what really drew alot of his followers in. (I'm not talking about the pool vid, the Chest tattoo picture, but...😭) I understand those, but like...piano videos? A few dodger photos? Trees? Like that type of stuff showcased who Chris was and alot of me, including myself, fell in love with that personal side of him. He didn't feel stuffy. He felt more down to earth east coast celebrity guy.

I just really feel like going completed curated isn't going to work well for him in the long run. Idk, maybe that's just me, but majority of instagram followers aren't going to just want work posts of his to pop up...just like at cons, those fans aren't the ones watching his non-marvel work.

I understand privacy. I just hope he can still loosen up and someone tell him that showing trees or a hike or rollarblading (piano video 👀) is way more helpful to his image that an ASP chat could ever be...

I miss the old Chris. 😭

Don't compare the two. Chris has always shown up for his obligated work duties. He did share several posts during filming and even promotion of Ghosted. He kept up some of The Gray Man posts and Lightyear posts. He is streamlining his IG. But that man has ALWAYS shown up for work. Scott Pilgrim and Pain Hustlers were a bit different.

Those parts of his life are still so heavily out there, so it is a part of his persona. Dodger is still on there, and the photos that aren't, can easily be found. As far as the piano videos, they're still out there as well. that part of his life didn't change.

The fact of the matter is people abused his social media. They made disgusting comments, and still do. Harassed friends and family members, so it shouldn't be a surprise that he cleaned up his IG. He is back, that's more than we can say for Sebastian, and the same thing happened to him. Sebastian's IG was incredible, but you give an inch and people take a mile.

He may show some personal photos of Dodger here and there, but I doubt it'll be like it was before. Also, if you think about it, once the pandemic ended, he didn't post as often. I think it was to fight boredom. Give people a peak into your world, while also launching ASP.

You guys have to look at IG as a business tool. I know it's a social media, but it's free promotion for a lot of things. Never forget that.

[fryday]

Hihi~ I am the “tell-all video” anon. First of all, thank you so much for answering my ask. I have been a lurker for quite some time now and really enjoy reading your elaborate answers on DnP so i finally decided to send in an ask! :)

Looking back, i now realize that was a very confusing question. As in a “tell-all” video, i meant more like a what was going on behind the scenes and what did the other person do that make it work sort of thing. Coz there were so many incidents that I am just so curious to know how the did they get through it you know what i mean? Especially after watching Dan’s more serious videos (eg. existential crisis, depression video, BIG, and WIQY) and Phil’s Draw My Life 2, we can clearly see that they have been through so freaking much together. With Dan’s depression, I always wonder how Phil was going through as well and how he handle the situation as he has never been vocal about what he was going through as well and his actual feelings. I also have a feeling that Dan spoils Phil rotten like a tutor princess now is because Phil has been so supportive, loving and accepting of him through out the years. Like we got a few teeny tiny glimpse of supportive Phil from time to time, but I want a 5 hours tell all video of them sappily talking about how supportive the other person was when they were going through all the challenges.

I think you sort of touched on it in your answer, and I agree 100% that it would be appreciated if they are willing to share more on serious topics as they are both very eloquent and intelligent. Or maybe something like the mukbang video when they are just chilling and chatting something more light hearted yet where they still be able share more of their thoughts and feelings.

hi, anon, thanks for coming back to clarify your previous ask!! i'm glad you enjoy reading my responses ❤️

totally get what you mean now, and you're right for being super interested in the idea of that video, even if we know we're probably never going to get it (which is within their right!). they've been through hell and back together, and yet remain maybe the healthiest example of a partnership i've ever seen on the internet. it's so admirable.

(this is a long one, so continued under the cut!)

re: phil supporting dan through his depression, i do think about dan whenever phil mentions something to do with the topic, like in the recent advice video phil did when he said something about how depression can make people messier than usual, and to be aware of / considerate about that. he is so learned on these things and i'm sure most of it is from experience.

you know, there is something in what you said about how dan spoils phil these days. he DOTES on him in a way i don't think i've ever seen him do before. (like he's always been very fond towards phil, but that's not the same as the way he like, wifes him these days and yes i made up a verb there because it felt necessary. do you know what i mean?) (disclaimer, i took a break from watching dnp for a hot minute from ~2017 to now basically, so there's lots i've missed, and maybe this was already a trend back in the day. idk! i'm just going off what i remember.)

the few glimpses we've gotten of supportive phil have been so special, but you're right, they're obviously just the tip of the iceberg, and even then they've completely destroyed us each time. it makes you think about how yes, we know they love each other, but we'll never know just how much, or the many many deeply important, difficult and meaningful ways that loved has been forged + toughened over the years.

i think a mukbang type setting is the only way i can conceive of them sharing things like this. a setting where they can relax, let their walls down and be vulnerable. the energy in the mukbang video was completely different from their usual, similar only maybe to the final google feud, but even that was more silly and jokey. mukbang vid was just - soft. open. giving. and they shared some things i didn't expect at all in it.

but at the end of the day, like you said in your first ask, the way they've barely shared anything important about their relationship really proves how genuine it is between them. like, this is their life. they live it for themselves and each other, and we're just lucky enough to get to see them sometimes. it's great