#some things give me a super intense mental image but the image only lasts a day or two

[the-insomniac-emporium]

what if I started another writing WIP because I love Mia Winters. and what if it's one that I know I'd have to finish in one sitting to actually finish. and I know I won't have time to finish it in one go. what if.

[reginalusus]

I don't know if this has been asked before but what are your headcanons for Harvey and two-face? Wholesome and not so wholesome 🔞 lol

Anything they have in common, for example are they both super organized/need things a certain way? Different love languages?

🩷

Oh, boy, do I...

By the way, I ramble a lot...

So this is gonna be long post.

It's just a thing with me. Only super-cool people relate. /j

I also tend to base *some* headcanons on what is already canon, or blend them in some way, so some of this might be old news.

Oh, and I'll put a cut before the suggestive ones just so people who don't want to see that sort of stuff can safely scroll by.

EDIT: The cut does not seem to be working because Tumblr hates me so, um, WARNING FOR SUGGESTIVE STUFF.

He's 6'5". His height has fluctuated in his appearances, but I much prefer when he's taller than Bruce, such as in Telltale and BTAS. BuT a DisTRIct AtTornEY dOesN't NeE- lalalalalala, I don't careeeeeee. I like the image of him being physically imposing, not just for villainous purposes, but also to juxtapose how much of a sweetheart he is, or was. There is also another reason.

He stims with his coin. Months back I talked in length about how I think Harvey might view his coin as a way to reclaim his abuse against his father, but I also see him using it as a comfort item, as sick as it may be (considering its past), and that the constant twirling and flipping is a way for him to stim.

He loves 50s/60s music. Namely the likes of Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Sam Cooke, Lesley Gore, Dean Martin, Roy Orbinson...

He sings! I know this is kind of canon, but that MF can sing. His Harvey voice is smooth and articulate, very vintage, meanwhile Two-Face's is, of course, raspier and almost more of a rocker's voice.

Two-Face names his guns. I've drawn some of these before, but Harvey doesn't bother with such nonsense. Harvey views weapons as a last resort; their mere existence throws justice into question. Why can someone wield such a thing that sets the odds in their favour immediately? But Two-Face knows they get the job done quickly. They're like the broom of Gotham; a quick way to be rid of the scum. So he names them, for they are beloved, much like how legendary weapons have been named in the past for what they have slain.

He dissociates/has derealization episodes. Yes, he has DID, and dissociation is in the name, but during really intense symptoms, such as his depression, paranoia and personalities all practically screaming in his head, he ends up having a bad derealization episode, much like how you would see someone have after they suffer a panic attack. His coin helps ground him.

He has definitely done that fucking pottery scene from Ghost with Gilda while she's sculpting. You know the one.

He's an elegant shooter but a brutish fighter. Not only is he a God with guns, he's also precise and elegant. But with physical combat? Brutal, much like a street fighter. I suppose both Batman and Deathstroke's training gets muddled in some ways...

His henchmen give him gifts now and then. They just do, and he doesn't understand it. Silly stuff, like bi-coloured mugs or shirts. Perhaps to keep his short-temperedness at some sort of bay. Doesn't work half the time, however.

He takes depression naps. Because of course he does. Having mental health issues is also physically taxing. I imagine he sleeps a lot, but also struggles to sleep at the same time because everything is so damn loud in his head.

He's bisexual. Gotta love both. Harvey has a preference for women, Two-Face has a preference for men.

Fussy with his suits and clothes. In The Judas Coin, we see Harvey's kind of a suit-nerd. Enough said. That MF loves to look good. Harvey loves stuff that's timeless and classic, very reminiscent of 40s/50s mafia wear, while Two-Face loves gaudy, striking stuff. They have to compromise, hence the split suits in the first place.

He doesn't like himself very much but just puts up with it. He's a walking contradiction, a hypocrite to himself. He claims to uphold the law but also bastardizes it. Also, he avoids mirrors and reflections if possible (that was something that was mentioned in his older issues, but they never brought it back, I don't think). He's smashed a mirror before, or two, or three.

He's a hopeless romantic. I've talked a little about this before, but he crushes hard, falls harder, and ever since being widowed, he pines for validation but seldom receives such because of his reputation.

He's a vintage lighter collector. He's got those S.T. Duponts and those 1970 electric Ronson's, I just know it.

Harvey constantly makes courtroom puns. Nobody laughs except Gilda.

He's an embarrassing dancer. He loves singing older tunes, but when it comes to dancing, he loves those cheesy 80 tunes. Get him drunk enough and he'll kill the dancefloor... with second-hand embarrassment.

So, I also have a lot of thoughts about The Judge too, but they're very scattershot and I'd rather compile them at another time, plus this post doesn't need to be any longer than what it is, lmao.

I also have more HCs around what he'd be like with the Batkids and Bruce, but again, this post is already long.

Ok, suggestive stuff now, and I'm going to kick it off with a hot take:

Harvey and Two-Face are monogamous. A really popular HC I've seen for Harvey is that he loves having multiple partners - two partners, of course, for each side of him. Well... I DISAGREE. /lh Personally, I think he prefers the one. He likes to purely focus on that one person and treat them like they're the only person that exists, in hope they'll do the same for him. To make him feel like he's whole; that, for once, he's not split.

Two-Face is protective and jealous. If you're out with him and he sees someone eyeing you up, out come the knuckle dusters.

He's dominant. And rough. But he'll always ask what you want; do you want to be praised or degraded while he's using you?

The coin can be fun. Sometimes he gets extremely impassioned and heated, and he just doesn't know what to do with his partner next. Good thing he has an item that helps him decide. The ambiguity of which side will turn up can add to the excitement!

Scar worship makes him melt. It just does. He hates that side of him, but seeing someone stroke or caress his scars, telling him how handsome he looks, that's a sure-fire way to send him over the edge. He'll probably fall in love.

Harvey shows love through words and actions, Two-Face shows it through gifts. Harvey will reassure his partner through words and keeping those words upheld. Meanwhile, Two-Face will corrupt his partners with gifts.

Two-Face is a bit clingy. He'll text a lot, call a lot, ask where his partner is, how they are, if they're ok. Harvey is more relaxed.

Aftercare King. He knows how strong he is and how violent (for lack of a better word) he can be. So he'll always check in with his partner to make sure they're fine.

Harvey is vocal and sappy, Two-Face isn't. Not just during the act, but afterwards. Harvey will want to cuddle, he'll want to talk over a cigarette, he wants to get to know his partner on a deeper level. Two-Face generally needs some room first. He might be a bit cold, but he'll come around.

Again, I have more in this regard, but that's what AO3 is for!

Oh, also, I saw your ask about Gerard Butler and his doggo... I agree, hehe, maybe Harvey can walk Dick's dog at some point, lol.

[neoculturetravesty]

We met in online class - Part 3

Image taken from here.

Pairing: Renjun x Reader Genre: College AU, romance, fluff, angst, maybe humor???? Warnings: Strong language, drinking Word Count: 5.2k

Navigation: Part 1 | Part 2 | You are on Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Last Part

A/N: Happy birthday to Huang Renjun, the boy who lights up the world. Sorry for making him so angsty in this fic. Tried something a bit light for him on this occasion.

You’re embarrassed beyond belief. 

You had expected maybe an awkward moment or two. But the look Renjun is wearing on his face as the two of you exit the restaurant is one that makes you queasy. You feel so bad. The poor boy had tried so hard to make this date special; and you’d done everything you could to make it cumbrous. You tried, you really tried to act naturally. But, everything about tonight had made your words get caught in your throat. The fact that he’d chosen your uncle’s restaurant of all places… the fact that he had prepared all that he had… the fact that he looked the way he looked tonight. All of it had you taken aback because you’d never been on a date this nice before. This boy had really put you off your A game.

Still, you didn’t like seeing him wear this expression. You weren’t sure what part had irritated him the most: that you kept fumbling over your words? He’d usually been kind and patient with you, so that couldn’t be it. Maybe his pride had been hurt by how it had ended? Renjun didn’t come across to you as a spiteful person but he had made so much effort on this date. Oh man, maybe he was angry. 

To be fair, the poor boy hadn’t said anything since you’d left the table. Perhaps it was in what he didn’t say that you felt most embarrassed. You feel so terribly guilty, but walking out into the fresh air helps you get your act together. You stride ahead and grab his arm. You two needed a moment. 

“Renjun, wait. I… I need to explain myself.” you begin but gauge his reaction first.

He turns to you and you can’t read the expression on his mask covered face. He doesn’t say anything, so he’s probably letting you talk. Whilst you can’t read him, you pull your own mask down so he would see you fully and understand what you mean.

“Renjun, I’m so sorry. When you texted the address, I thought about telling you to choose another restaurant. But I didn’t want you to think I was blowing you off or having second thoughts. I just… oh my God, I am so embarrassed and I just…” you take his hand in both of yours because you really want him to feel the sincerity in your words “... I’m so sorry. I just went along because I was really excited to see you… like this… on a date…” 

Renjun is looking at the ground, like he’s weighing your words, or thinking about what to say. You wait for a beat, or two or three. But on the fourth beat, you say,

“Tell you what, this date doesn’t have to end like this. I know you didn’t eat at all, and honestly, neither did I. My apartment is just around the corner. Do you maybe wanna come over for some ramyeon?” you look at him, your eyes hopeful. You really don’t want him to be mad at you. Your stomach feels uneasy, and you’re pretty sure the French food had nothing to do with it. 

“What, no condoms this time?” he finally looks up to ask and now, his eyes are smiling. 

“Huh?” you begin but then your eyes widen as realization hits and suddenly, you’re much too aware of his hand in both of yours. You drop it right away and you’re blushing intensely when you say “No, no condoms this time. I mean actual ramyeon.” you cover your face with your hands because yes, you’re embarrassed, but also, you’re grinning because Renjun is teasing you again and you prefer it way more than his silence. 

You hear the sound of his amused laugh and then feel his hands close around both your wrists, gently pulling them down. “I’d like that. Let’s have that ramyeon.” he says with a kind voice.

You didn’t realize you’d been holding your breath till you let it out and give him a relieved smile.

“Great! I’m actually really good at making ramyeon. Don’t be too surprised when all other ramyeons are ruined for you forever.” you say just as the valet brings your car around.

“Honestly, Y/N L/N, after our French cuisine extravaganza, I’m pretty sure I’d thankfully eat sand if you cook it for me well enough.”

You laugh because you’re happy he’s talking again. You get the sudden urge to hug him, because you’re thankful he’s giving this date a second chance. You don’t, though. You’re not sure how he’d react and you didn’t want to ruin the moment when it had only just turned around.

So you choose to hop in the car instead, waiting from him to get in and put his seatbelt on. You pause for a moment after he’s settled in and then you turn to him.

“I, uh… I didn’t bring condoms on that day because like, uh, I was expecting anything or whatever. I just, um, my… my roommate. She put it in my purse as like a joke.” you feel so stupid having to explain it but you feel like you need to because ugh, ugh, ugh. 

Renjun is laughing silently and you get the feeling that this time he’s laughing at you. 

“I mean, it was pretty forward for a first date. And you know, I’m not that kinda guy.” He shrugs his shoulders, shaking his head, still laughing. 

“Ughhh.” you bury your face into the steering wheel but it only makes your head honk the horn, which makes you jump. 

“Hey…” Renjun reaches out his arm to touch your shoulder and you turn to peak at him, an embarrassed grin on your face. “I’m only kidding. But yes, the quality of my jokes is really going down because now I’m fully starving.”

“Say no more, Huang Renjun.” you say and put the car into drive.

It’s only a five-minute ride and you’re glad for it, because you really, really want to turn this day around. You just couldn’t have your first proper date end on such a sour note. You pull into your building’s garage and silently hope that you had everything you needed to make the perfect ramyeon. With Yeri stress-eating her way to her thesis, your stock would run out way earlier than either of you expected. If that were the case, you would have to very sneakily order some in; you mentally start to calculate how long it would take the grocery app to get you your stuff, given the time of day.

In your planning, you haven’t noticed that the two of you are already in the elevator and it’s Renjun’s voice that brings you back to Earth.

“You live in the penthouse?” he asks.

“Yeah. It was the only place they had available at that time. Super inconvenient. It was hell trying to move all our stuff all the way to the top.” you try to make small talk because the elevator seems to be going on and on. Why did you have to live so far up top? 

“Okay, here we are!” you say as you lead Renjun down the hallway and unlock your door. “Um… do you mind if I like… spray you down? My roommate is kinda really particular about having people in the apartment these days…” you ask apologetically.

“Oh, no, absolutely. Do what you have to do.” Renjun says, a bit absentmindedly. His eyes seem to be going past you and towards your living room. You pray to the heavens that it wasn’t a big mess. You had modelled way too many outfits for Yeri before you had left the house.

“Okay, here you go.” you hand Renjun a pair of lounge shoes as he pulls his mask down. “Close your eyes, please. Yeri made this concoction with Lysol and sanitizer and God knows what else.”

Renjun closes his eyes obediently and stands in a T-pose and you can’t help but smile. By the time you’re spraying him, you’re fully giggling. 

He giggles back and peaks with one eye open “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. You’re just. You look so cute, Huang Renjun!” you almost squeal and fuck, you can’t stop giggling.

“Heyyy!” he groans and grabs the spray bottle from you and aims it at you. You shield your face with the backs of your hands while Renjun attacks you. “I’m not cute, okay? You’re the one that’s cute.”

“Okay, that’s enough! I think I’m as sanitized as I will ever be.” you squeal and start to move away but Renjun grabs your waist and sprays you some more. He’s basically drenching you to death, and it’s just as well, because your breath has once again been caught in your throat. He is close to you, too close. Suddenly, your heart is thumping in your chest and you wonder if he can hear it.

He notices your stillness, looks at you and pauses. Like he can feel the electricity in the air. Everything stills and your throat is dry, because your freaking breath won’t let out. You think you’ve forgotten to breathe; almost as if the Lysol is creeping down your airways. He’s holding your gaze and you can swear he’s moving closer. But your stupid throat won’t stop bothering you.

All of a sudden, your head turns out of it’s own accord and you’re clearing your throat into the abyss. Renjun straightens up, his hand leaving your waist. Dammit. Maybe it was all that damn Lysol that was choking you, after all. 

“Let’s make that ramyeon.” you choke out, turning your back to him and heading in.

“Yep, ramyeon. Lets.” Renjun nods his head like you’ve said the most logical thing in the world. The two of you pretend like nothing even happened.

You lead him into the kitchen. “What would you like to drink? I’ve got soda, beer, soju.” you say as you open your fridge and do a quick inventory.

“I’ll just have a coke.” Renjun says and you nod. You grab a couple of cans and your ice box and set it down for him on the island. 

“Have a seat because what you’re about to witness is pure magic.” you tell him as you grab your apron and suit up to impress the boy in front of you. Renjun runs his fingers through his hair and gives you an expectant smile and your brain choses that exact moment to tell you that your crush is at your place. For the very first time. And the two of you are all alone. You turn around before he can see you blush and you get to work.

“Those are big words, Y/N L/N. I hope you won’t be eating them. I’d much rather have you eat the ramyeon with me.” he snarks as he sits on the barstool on the kitchen island, sipping on his coke. 

“Oh, I just love the cynics of my cooking. There aren’t many of them left in this world, so it’s nice to meet the survivors.” You mean business, so you’ve already tied up your hair and laid down your pots and pans. All the time you’ve spent watching Masterchef auditions has prepared you for this moment. You’ve put the noodles to boil and are already heating up a sauté pan. You throw in mushrooms and look up to see Renjun studying you in amusement.

“Damn, you’re not playing around.” Renjun says and you could bet money that he almost sounds impressed. “Hey, be careful with that.” his tone is one of worry now as he watches you chop up some more vegetables.

“I’m always careful, Huang Renjun.” you say as you work the chef’s knife across the bok choy, peppers, ginger and tofu. You throw them in the pan one by one, trying not to be too distracted by the fact that your crush was worried about you. “Can you handle a bit of heat?” you hold up the spicy sauce that Yeri’s mom would always bring for you. 

“I can handle it.” he cocks an eyebrow and you grin.

“I’ll keep it mild because I don’t wanna take any more food risks today.” you laugh and add some broth to your noodles.

“That’s fair. It smells amazing already so my expectations have really skyrocketed, by the way.” Renjun tells you, licking his lips. 

You grin as you set down two bowls. If the boy didn’t like you after this, then he was probably a really tough cookie to crack. “Honey, you’ve got a big storm comin’.” You mimic as you ladle in the broth over the noodles and start arranging your vegetables in the bowls. You slice your boiled eggs and mutter “Success!” as they come out to be the exact texture you were looking for. You top everything with some sesame oil and sesame seeds. You step back to look at your work. It looked like the most Instagramable bowl of noodles you’d ever created, if you said so yourself. 

You lay some side dishes on the counter then proudly set your creation before the artist. If anyone knew how to appreciate aesthetics, it was probably him. You look up at him, expectant. Waiting for your result.

“Whoa.” is all he says, almost like he’s taken aback.

“I think this might be my magnum opus.” you say, nodding seriously as you sit on the barstool next to him.

“This looks like it came straight from an anime.” Renjun makes an impressed face and picks up his chopsticks. He takes a bite and for a moment says nothing. “Oh my God.” he turns to you.

“Oh my God?” 

“Y/N L/N. You’re gonna have to marry me now. There is no other way around it.” he says deadpan.

You grin and punch the air with both fists like you’ve won a Michelin star, not just the Masterchef audition. “Huang Renjun, I don’t mess about with ramyeon.” You say and begin to eat. Your eyes close as you let out a satisfied moan because yep--you’ve really done well. To be fair, there was a lot riding on it. You had to perform well today, of all days.

You both eat comfortably and deeply, a striking contrast to how you’d eaten at the French restaurant. Renjun gives you more compliments as he eats and you keep grinning like an idiot, heart exploding with joy. At one point, you have to tell yourself to chill out, to not let a boy’s compliments make you feel so validated. But how could you not be on cloud nine when the boy in question is cute as fuck and you’ve just cooked for him for the very first time? So you just smile wide at him and hope he can’t see the hearts in your eyes or the victory in your attitude that you’ve really managed to turn this around. All the awkwardness from earlier seemed to have evaporated. 

“Okay, Y/N L/N. You were right. This is the best ramyeon I’ve ever eaten in my entire life.” he admits and you’re way too happy to see that he’s basically licked his bowl clean. 

“Oh man, Huang Renjun. I thought you were a survivor. But here you are, another cynic that I’ve managed to convert.” you say proudly.

“Yes. Here I am.” he smiles at you. 

And there it is again. The electricity in the air. Because Renjun is holding your gaze and once again, you become much too aware of his proximity. Were your bar stools always this close? Maybe you had to talk to Yeri about remodeling this area. You’re turning toward him and he’s sliding off the stool, his eyes never leaving yours. He comes closer and your heart thumps against your ribcage again. Your mind is clouded by his perfume because he’s so close that your hands find home on his shoulders. You forget to think for a moment; your blood throbbing hot in your ears as he leans in.

“I’m hooome!” 

The two of you jump, your heads turning in the direction of the loud voice. You turn back to look at each other, then you jump away from one another, almost as if the spell has been broken and you’ve realized how close you were and how dumb an idea this was. 

You lament your luck. You can’t believe you’ve been cockblocked out of your first kiss with Renjun by your stupid roommate. 

It was almost a week later that you heard from Renjun again. Not that you hadn’t really talked in between. If sending one another memes over Instagram counted as meaningful communication, then yes, you’d been in contact. But then a couple of days ago, he had texted you more than a full sentence:

“Hey! Remember the 127 party Donghyuck (Haechan) talked about? It’s this Friday. Do you maybe wanna go with me? If you don’t want to hang out with frat boys on your Friday night, I totally understand! We could hang out some other time.”

Sometimes, you really wondered if you had any sort of an inkling of pride within you at all, because you didn’t even wait another second to reply:

“You know I wouldn’t miss a single chance to hang out with Haechan. Text me the address and I’ll be there! (Also, what sort of a party is this? I don’t want to be underdressed like last time hehe.)”

Turned out the 127s were hosting some sort of an outdoor Sports Day, except with drinks a plenty so everyone would be knackered as they played. The setup reminded you of every ill-fated Sports Days you’d ever been to at school, except with a lot more booze than you remembered. The two of you had barely walked into the grounds when Haechan jumped in to greet you with the same unrestrained energy.

“My friends! The Coronial lovers! Mr. Huang Renjun!” Haechan had leaned in to kiss Renjun on the cheek but he had really skillfully dodged it, like he had predicted what he would do. “Ms. Y/N L/N.” your reflexes hadn’t been quite as quick as Renjun’s because you had ended up with a mask covered smooth on your cheek. It made you cringe and laugh at the same time. Haechan had very animatedly told you of all the games they had planned for today and had pushed you in, forcing you to mingle with the rest of the crowd. 

Renjun was currently being swarmed by the group of rowdy boys and you were watching with an amused expression on your face.

“Embarrassing. Some people should just not be let out in public.” you hear a voice just above your shoulder. You turn around and chuckle.

“Hendery. Didn’t think you were the kind to kick it with the 127s.” you chuckle.

“Neither did I. They’re cool I guess. I like Haechan. More people need to be as shameless as him.” he comments, knitting his brows together.

You smile wide. “I like him, too. He really keeps everyone together, doesn’t he?” you muse as you watch the boy work the room (or playground), currently attacking everyone with more cheek kisses. “Hey, who’s that boy over there? The one in the blue-ish shirt?” 

“That’s Kim Jungwoo. He graduated a couple of years ago but he keeps coming to these parties.” Hendery says, scrunching his nose.

You laugh and then let out a long sigh. “I don’t blame him. When I start thinking about life after graduation, it makes me want to fail my courses just so I could repeat them. The future is scary.”

He nods knowingly, then says, “Hey, speaking of which. I heard we’re going to be partners in the SMK Trainee Drive.” 

Suddenly, you feel your belly do a summersault. Whenever your college hosted a recruitment drive, SMK was always the hardest to get in, especially for business majors. Not only was it super competitive, but people dreamed of getting chosen because it almost always guaranteed a job once you had graduated. 

You blow air from your mouth and square your shoulders. “Wong Hendery. Let’s show them how it’s done.” you hold your hand up to give him a high five but he grips your fist with his and puts his game face on.

“We’re going to crush the competition.” He declares and you feel reassured. You felt way more driven with a partner than working solo, anyway.

“Hendery, don’t waste all your arm energy now, save it for the wrestling match!” Haechan interrupts, thumping him on the back. “Go find your team, we’re about to start! 00 liners, this way!” he says, throwing an arm around you and walking to your team. You look over your shoulder and give Hendery a thumbs up. 

You join the 00 liners and look at Renjun amongst them. He looks the most uninhibited you’ve ever seen him. He’s smiling without concern and seems to be enjoying himself. You get the feeling that he’s surrounded by friends he trusts and it fills you with warmth. That boy deserved the world as far as you were concerned. 

“Okay, team. Here we are. The moment of truth. We can sit around like a bunch of shmucks or we can leave this ground knowing that we owned this fucking school! So what are we gonna do?” he yells like a sports coach.

“We’re gonna stop being embarrassing.” Lee Jeno gives Haechan a death smile and Haechan thumps his chest.

“That’s right brother! Okay, first order of business. Everybody take a shot! No one enters the battlefield sober!” He gives his commander’s speech and passes around bottles of something. You’re not sure what it is but it smells strong. 

“Down on 3. 1, 2, 3!” he yells and without thinking, you down whatever you’d been handed. You groan out as it hits and look up to realize that your groans are harmonizing with the others. 

“Ohhhh yes! Now we’re ready! Okay, second order of business. We need an entrance song. I was thinking, Girl’s Generation…” Haechan goes on and you see that it has made Renjun laugh. You laugh along as Haechan makes the team learn the cheesiest dance moves. A boy in a headband you’ve never met seems to be fully into it; a few girls seem to be tagging along amused. Na Jaemin looks like he’s humoring his friends at best.

“Okay! Let’s get ittttt!” Haechan drags the last part and leads the charge towards the center of the ground for an arm wrestling battle. There is excitement in the air now, and you have a feeling that it has less to do with the match itself and more to do with whatever liquid courage Haechan had injected in everybody’s veins. You find yourself walking at pace with Na Jaemin.

“You doing alright there, buddy?” you ask him because the poor boy looks like he was once again dragged out here.

He gives you a kind smile “Yep. I’m all good.”

“Not really your scene, huh?” you ask empathetically.

“I mean, I’d much rather stay indoors but Jeno said I needed some fresh air. Renjun was going to stay in with me but he betrayed me last minute by deciding to be social.” He notes, throwing some kind of a look your way.

You give him an apologetic grimace. “Oh man, I’m sorry for ruining your plans. But where’s your girlfriend? Why didn’t you invite her?” 

“She’s quarantining.” he tells you patiently.

“Oh no! Is she okay?” you look at him, almost stopping in your tracks.

“She says she’s mostly all the way okay now, though she still doesn’t have her sense of smell back. But I guess any day now.” he nods, looking ahead.

You look at this profile and your heart goes out to him. “Hey, I know of a place that’s making these really cute care packages for people that have been affected. They’ve got a super safe system of delivery as well. I can hook you up if you like. They’ve got the cutest things for you to choose from.” 

He looks at you and gives you a genuine smile. “That would be great. She’s probably tired of all the soup I’ve been leaving at her doorstep.”

You give him a fond look. “Okay, cool. I’ll help you put it together and everything.”

“Thanks, Y/N.” he says before you are interrupted by a loud cheer because the first match has begun and it’s between the boy with the headband and someone else you don’t recognize. The match doesn’t last a full two seconds before the boy with the headband is defeated. Haechan plays up looking crestfallen and “lunges” at the opponent but is playfully stopped by Renjun and the defeated boy. You throw your head back and laugh out loud. You were maybe enjoying these dramatic antics a little too much, but also, it was nice to see Renjun letting loose like that.

Haechan is up next and is defeated just as quickly and you soon realize your team stood no chance. A couple more boys from your team go next and it’s a bloodbath. No matter how much you cheer your teammates on, they’re dropping like flies. By the time Na Jaemin walks up to the stand, you’ve all pretty much accepted your fate. 

But then. Jaemin’s arm slowly starts crossing over the midline and then the 00 liners are on their toes jumping up and down, cheering on top of their lungs and before you know it, Jaemin has earned you guys your first victory.

“Go Nana!” you hear people scream followed by a chanting of “Superstar! Superstar!” 

You cheer along and watch as Jaemin-the-dark-horse defeats two more opponents in a row. And when he earns yet another victory, the 00 liners are going berserk, with Haechan yelling “Victory shots!” making you guys chug down whatever drinks you’re holding. But that becomes your undoing because Jaemin finally loses to Lee Mark, a senior boy.

A few girls from each team have their go and there’s an uproar when it’s pointed out that the boys were letting them win. It’s a loud, drunken commotion now and you don’t realize it is Rejun’s turn till Haechan points it out for you and much to your amusement, he’s up against Hendery.

“Go Renjun! I believe in you!” you cheer at him as he takes his place.

“Go Injuniee!” Haechan yells and you all watch for a moment with bated breath; but as soon as the match begins, you’re all doubling over, laughing. Renjun is no match for Hendery and he knows it, which is why he’s taken the opportunity to turn this into a comedy show. You laugh as Renjun hangs onto Hendery’s arm and wiggles his legs animatedly. But Hendery holds his ground well and let’s Renjun put on a show for everyone before he puts some girth in his hold and flattens Renjun out in one. Renjun walks back defeated and you welcome him back just as dramatically, like he’s a soldier returning from war.

“You did well, Injunie.” you put an arm around him and tell him and he grins at you before he is swarmed by the rest of your team. Your opponents are declared the winners but you guys do your Girl’s Generation dance anyway and take more victory shots.

You guys have no idea how you make it through the rest of the day because by the time you’re on your last game (a strange relay race that involves complicated costumes and eating donuts hanging from strings), you’re stumbling and being rowdier than usual. You’re yelling at one another, trying to get Yangyang (as you’ve learnt is the name of the boy in the headband) in his many legged costume but it is more complicated than usual because none of you are in your right mind. You, in fact, don’t remember the last time you got this drunk... Yeri would be proud. 

There is more commotion and many more arguments over what the actual finish line is, because by the end, even the self-appointed referees are knackered beyond belief. You don’t know how it happens but all of a sudden, Kim Jungwoo has been declared the winner of tonight, though all the games you played were in teams. But this funny result is agreeable to everyone because Jungwoo is being tossed in the air and being presented with a mini beer keg. Turns out, there wasn’t much that college students wouldn’t celebrate... if you’d put enough drink in them.

You find yourself jumping up and down along with the rest and you don’t realize that you’ve stumbled till Renjun catches you and you’re smiling at him so widely. You’re pretty sure your face is flushed a bright, drunk color because Renjun is looking down at you with an amused smile.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. You alright there?” he asks and you loop your arms around his neck till you’re basically hanging onto him.

“I’m having the best time ever, Injunie.” you tell him but your words are coming out all sloshed so you try to make yourself clear. “Best time. Best time. Why does it sound so funny in my mouth? Best time. Best time.”

Renjun raises his eyebrows but his smile keeps growing. “Okay, time to take you home.”

“Nooo, Injunie, but Haechan was going to show me how to make his death cocktail and I have to help Jaemin make a package for his girlfriend and I’ve made a new friend and her name is Lia and I can’t leave now!” you whine at him, grabbing a fistfull of his hoodie. Damn, why do your words keep sloshing around in your mouth like that?

Renjun loops an arm around your back and starts walking you “Okay, you can just take a quick nap at home and then when you come back you can do all of those things, okay?”

You consider his words and realize that your eyes were droopier than usual. “You’re a genius, Huang Renjun. I guess I could take a little, itsy bitsy nap.”

The next thing you know, you’re in the back of a cab, your head resting on Renjun’s shoulder. He feels so nice and warm and you feel so damn comfortable. You cuddle closer to him and turn your head to look at him just a bit. “I’ve got such a bad crush on you, Huang Renjun.” you tell him and you see his head snap in the direction of your voice and you want to keep talking to him but your eyes are closing again. 

When you wake up in the morning, you have no recollection of how you got back home but Yeri’s making you her hangover tea and telling you how proud of you she was.

Copyright © 2021 NeoCultureTravesty. All rights reserved.

[aliendes]

BTS Reaction to Spit Kink (NSFW) 18+

BTS reaction to spit kink

From this ask: Hi omg can you please do a ot7 spit kink like I love your writing I think you would do it so welll please I’m begging you

Thanks bb! This was a different one for me. I don’t have this kink, nor have I ever explored it, so I challenged myself to write about it. I have no idea if this is any good, since there isn’t much I could *research* about it (lol). Yoongi’s was super hot, so there’s that and Jungkook’s is just cute. Let me know what you think! This is unedited, as per usual, sorry!

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex (wrap it up folks!), spitting (duh), oral (m&f receiving), fingering, masturbation, cumplay, cum eating. I probably missed some. 

Word count: 2.2k~

Jin was buried in your pussy, grinding into you seductively, lips mashed together. You were playing a game of tongues and teeth, kisses hot and heavy. It was the first time you’re seeing each other since he came back from a three month tour, and you were both relishing in the presence of the other.

Jin pulls back slightly, watching the string of saliva that connects your mouths break, sending drool down your chin. He groans at the sight, grinding even harder into you, “Oh! Jin,” you moan, back arching off the bed. His pubic bone was grinding against your swollen clit and the feeling was intense. You couldn’t help but to throw your head back onto your pillow and let out a string of curses. 

“Baby, you look so beautiful right now,” Jin husked, leaning over you and licking at your mouth, cleaning up the mess he left behind, “I’ve missed you so much.”

Jin trails his warm muscle lower, licking under your chin and down your neck, sucking gently into your collarbones, “Oh, oh God!” You were crying with pleasure as he continued to rock his hips against your own. The feeling was too much, sending you hurtling over the edge and Jin kept licking at your chest. 

“So, so beautiful, baby.”

You were sitting in your desk chair in front of your bed, with Yoongi sitting on the edge of your mattress, both of you totally naked, only about a foot apart. Yoongi had expressed interest in mutual masturbation, and you were more than willing to give it a try, thinking it would likely be a turn on for you too, to watch your boyfriend touch himself to the thought of you. 

Yoongi leaned back on the bed with one hand, beckoning you towards him with the other, “C’mere,” he grunted, motioning to his cock that was already standing tall against his abdomen, “help me out a bit.” You knew exactly what he wanted, having done it for him multiple times. You rose from your seat and walked over to him seductively, leaning over his crotch and letting a glob of spit fall from your lips and onto the head of his cock. He groaned at the cool feeling of your saliva spread over his slit and down the sides of the head. 

As you went to back up, Yoongi’s hand shot out and grabbed your wrist, lightly tugging you towards him, “Wha-” you began, until you realized what he was doing. He sucked your pointer and middle fingers into his mouth and lewdly swirled his tongue around them, coating them in his own saliva, before popping off of them and releasing your hand. You moaned at what he was silently asking for and went back to sit in your chair.

As you sat back down you watched Yoongi spread your spit up and down his long cock and start lazily jacking himself off, breathy moans coming from his parted lips. You spread your legs so your cunt was split open for his viewing pleasure, pulling a curse from him.

Slowly, you brought your spit covered fingers down to your clit and slowly started rubbing. Every so often you’d bring your fingers down and collect some of your own juices, bringing them back up to your bud. You moaned at the feeling, letting Yoongi know you were enjoying yourself. You were loving the sight of your boyfriend’s eyes glued to your core, hand stroking himself freely. It was incredibly arousing, and you wanted to make this as pleasurable as possibly for him. With that in mind, you cleared your throat slightly, grabbing his attention.

When your eyes met, you gathered some spit in your mouth and tilted your head down. Slowly, you let the spit fall from your puckered lips, right onto your clit and continued to rub. Yoongi’s breathing stuttered and he let out a stuttered moan as he came into his hand, eyes closing and falling back onto the bed, completely spent. You didn’t even care that you haven’t came yet, as you rose from the chair and crawled over your boneless boyfriend.

“How was it?” You asked him curiously. 

“How was it?” He repeated, “You’re the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. You’re too good to me.” 

You preened at the praise he was giving you, smiling down at him. “It was pretty hot, huh?”

He nodded, staring at your through hooded lids. “Let me help you out, now.”

Hoseok was greedily eating you out up against the wall of the backstage area. You had come to visit them on tour, surprising your boyfriend only about ten minutes ago. To your surprise, he couldn’t wait to get his hands on you, quite literally. Now, you were pushed against a wall, dress bunched at your middle, hidden by a clothing rack in an empty room.

“Hobi! Ah, ah!” You whined, quietly, not wanting to get caught. 

Hoseok pulled off your clit for a moment, putting a finger to his lips to shush you. You nodded in understanding. You waited patiently for his mouth to reconnect to your core, but instead Hoseok lifted himself up a little, puckered his lips, and spit directly onto your clit. You moaned wantonly at the sight below you. Hoseok brought two fingers up and started harshly rubbing against your clit with the added lubrication. You knew you wouldn’t be able to control your noises with that mental image he just gifted you with, so you clamped a hand over your mouth.

Hoseok swirled his tongue around your entracing before plunging the hot muscle into your wet hole. He wiggled his tongue inside you, still rubbing at your swollen nub. You nearly screamed as you came on his face, oversensitive as he cleaned up your release. When you were sufficiently cleaned, he pulled your panties back up and moved your dress back down. As he stood up he wrapped his arms around you and kissed you passionately. You could taste yourself on his lips and it only served to turn you on more.

“Thank you, baby,” he whispered against your mouth, “there’s more where that came from once we get back to the hotel.”

Namjoon was sitting in front of his desk, laptop long forgotten, as you sucked him into your mouth once again. He had you on your knees under his desk, cock shoved into your throat as he face fucked you. 

“Fuck, baby,” he moaned, dragging the last syllable out, “you look so good taking my cock like this.”

You moaned at his praise, sending vibrations through his cock, making him moan again. You grabbed onto the base of his shaft and pulled yourself off of him. He looked at you curiously, watching as a trail of saliva connected your mouth to the angry red tip of his dick. The sight had him jerking his hips upwards to find some sort of relief. You smirked at him and squeezed his cock, leaning over him and messily licking around his bulbous tip.

“Baby,” he moaned again, getting lost in the feeling of your mouth.

You let the built up saliva from your mouth drip over his cock, hand still working him in a corkscrew pattern. His breathing was quickening and you could tell he was close, “Cum on my face, Joonie.”

His hips jolted up again at your dirty words, and it only took a few more strokes of your hand and licks to his slit before he was shooting ropes of cum all over your face. You closed your eyes and kept your mouth open, letting his cum land all over your cheeks and tongue. Namjoon nearly came again at the sight of your dirtied face.

“Holy shit,” was all he could utter, head falling back against his chair as you started to clean yourself up. “You’re fucking amazing.” You walked back over to him after throwing away the dirty tissues, smirking.

“I know.”

“Look at me,” Jimin whispered, leaning down to pull you into a steamy kiss, “you’re so fucking sexy.”

Jimin is rolling his divine dancer’s hips into yours at a slow and sensual pace. You’re squirming beneath him, legs shaking as his pubic bone brushes against your clit with every thrust. Instead of fucking in and out of you, he’s rolling his hips in a circular motion, pulling wanton moans from your lips. The feeling is incredible and you’re uttering his name like a mantra. 

“You’re beautiful, YN,” he says again, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth. He pulls back and lets your lip go with a ‘snap’. “Open up,” he says breathily, bringing a hand up to pull your chin down. 

Jimin puckers his lips as you open your mouth obediently for him. He lets his saliva fall from his lips into your mouth, landing on your tongue in a messy display of dominance. You swallow what he offers you, moaning and throwing your head back and you cum around his thick cock. “So good for me, so fucking good,” he moans as he cums with you, his hot cum warming you from the inside out. “I love you, YN,” he whispers in your ear as he lets his head fall on your shoulder, cock still twitching inside you.

“I love you too, Jimin-ah.”

You and Taehyung had just started dating, about a month ago. You decided to take things slow, not wanting to get too attached too quickly, since he was a constantly busy idol. You two hadn’t slept together yet, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t get away with other things.

You were currently lying against Taehyung’s chest, his back against your couch, as you two make out languidly. Your tongues are massaging the others softly, teeth clacking together every so often. It’s hot, it’s heavy, and both of you are so turned on, there’s no way things aren’t going to go further tonight.

You pull back for air, letting a string of saliva connect your mouths. As you suck in a breath, you notice Taehyung hyper focused on the saliva glistening on your lips. As you catch your breath, you smirk, getting an idea. 

“Tae,” you rasp, voice rough from not using it for a while. His eyes snap up to yours, filled with lust as he watches you gather spit on your tongue. You were testing him, to see if this was something he wanted, and sure enough he eagerly opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out. You smile, leaning down and letting your saliva fall onto Tae’s tongue. Tongue still out, he moans loudly, which in turn makes you moan, arousal shooting straight to your core as the erotic sight. Taehyung greedily swallows and immediately presses his lips to yours again, sucking your tongue into his mouth. 

When you both pull back from one another, Tae looks at you for a second before speaking, “You’re so hot, YN. I - I don’t think I can hold back anymore.” As if to emphasize his point, you feel his cock twitch in his pants against your thigh.

“Then don’t.”

Jungkook was stalking towards your naked form laying on your shared bed, cock in hand as he lazily strokes it. You sit up, propping yourself up on your elbows, smiling at your husband. As he nears you, his eyes light up and he gives you a bunny smile back.

“I’ve missed you so much, YN,” he says as he climbs onto the bed, cock still in hand, “I’ve been thinking about this for months.”

Your husband has been gone on tour for the last few months and this was your first night together since he got home this morning. To say you were both a little sexually frustrated was an understatement. The moment everything settled down with the boys and Jungkook was able to get home, he stripped you and him, clothes still laying in the hallway by the front door, and told you to get on the bed. Which brings you to now.

“I missed you too, bunny,” you whisper as he hovers over you, kissing your forehead, “I need you.” You’re whining now, but you can blame you when you’re toned as fuck husband is jacking himself off over you. “Don’t prep me, just fuck me, please.”

He looks at you bewildered for a moment, before sitting back on his feet, “Are you sure, baby? I can eat you out,” his concern for you was moving, but you really just needed to be fucked.

“I’m sure, come here,” you reached out with grabby hands, making him sit up on his knees. You lean forward and gather as much saliva as you can in your mouth, pucker your lips, and lewdly spit on his cock. He chuckles at your action for a moment before using your spit as lubrication to continue jacking off.

“Fuck,” he moans, “that was actually really sexy.”

“Jungkook!” You whine, “Please!”

“Okay, okay!” He laughs, lining himself up with you, and smirking down at you, “So needy.”

“You’re the one that sexts me at weird hours and leaves raunchy voicemails on my phone!” You shriek in defense.

He’s just about to push into you before he utters, “It’s not my fault your so damn hot.”

[samanthadalton]

Request, Mc is on lockdown and Blaine invites her over for beers and much more😏

loved this idea hope you enjoy it, whomever you may be👀👀

f!mc (Kennedy) x f!blaine

NSFW so reader discretion is advised (also im not that good at smut im sorry) 

tag list: @alleycat97 @cloud9in @blaine-hayes

this is my first time writing for Blaine so i’m sorry if it’s bad

wordcount: 2.1k 

Under the stars

Kennedy huffs, exasperated as she lays in her solitary confinement as she liked to call it (but really it’s her bedroom). Because being locked away in her bedroom away from her social life at Vancross was like a mental prison, and her mom was the warden, controlling her freedom. Ever since Winston had offered for Kennedy to date one of her classmates, she had a weird pit in her stomach that made her feel queasy. What makes matters worse, is that she had been avoiding Blaine at all costs, on campus, in class, anywhere where there were prying eyes. Because the last thing she wanted was Blaine’s name being dragged through the mud, no matter how persistent Blaine was in proclaiming she was in the photo.

A small knock at the door breaks Kennedy out of her reverie as she calls out, “come in!” Dionne enters clutching her phone, her expression giddy.

“I have a certain someone on the phone for you,” she whispers animatedly, as she waves the phone in Kennedy’s face.

Kennedy smiles as she plucks the phone from Dionne’s hand and puts it to her ear, “hey you.”

Over the line she hears Blaine’s low voice, “hey Rutherland.” Kennedy feels her heart beating in her chest faster and harder, as she hears Blaine’s voice. “Did you miss me?”

“Like crazy.” Blaine lets out a small chuckle. “So what do I owe the pleasure of this phone call?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to have a drink with me?”

“I don’t think mom would appreciate me leaving my dorm to have a drink with my sworn enemy.”

“So we’re back on what mommy says?” Blaine teases, Kennedy can practically hear her smiling over the phone.

“It’s not like that. This picture is literally destroying my mom’s campaign, she’s practically keeping me locked in my room.”

“Well, I guess I’ll have to enjoy these beers all on my own.” Blaine sighs exaggeratingly, “oh and you’ll miss the surprise I had for you too.”

Kennedy raises an eyebrow, curious, “surprise? What is it?”

“Not really much of a surprise if I tell you Rutherland. Guess you’ll have to come here if you want to find out.”

“And where exactly is here?”

“I’m afraid that’s classified until you agree to come.”

Kennedy looks back at Dionne who practically has stars in her eyes, as she watches the interaction between Kennedy and Blaine. “Dionne if I-”

Not even letting her finish Dionne nods her head pushing Kennedy towards her closet, “yep done. I’ll cover for you, now go meet your girl.” Dionne squeals as she takes the phone from Kennedy’s hand, placing it to her own ear, “Kennedy’s coming, now where is she meeting you?” After giving the location Dionne helps Kennedy help ready before helping sneak out of her bedroom window, just as the sun is beginning to set. “So you’ll be going to the art building, if you turn left and walk down the pathway, you’ll see a small alleyway and if you walk through there and then turn right, there art building will be there. There should be a set of stairs at the back of the building, Blaine said she left the door unlocked for you.”

Kennedy nods, resolute, “okay. Thank you for this Dionne.”

“Don’t thank me, just know I’m expecting details later though.”

Kennedy climbs not so gracefully out of her window, careful not to alert Tatum with his super sharp bodyguard senses as she follows Dionne’s instructions. Once she reaches the building, she pulls the handle, and makes her way to the rooftop and when she reaches it, she gasps as she lays eyes on Blaine. Blaine stands at the edge of the rooftop and in the middle is a carefully laid out picnic blanket with candles surrounding it with a few blankets and pillows, as well as a cooler and a basket of food. Kennedy turns to Blaine, admiration swelling in her eyes, “you did all of this for me?”

“Of course I did Rutherland.” She passes Kennedy a beer, clinking her bottle with hers before taking her hand and leading her onto the blanket.

“So is this our thing? Breaking into places we’re not meant to be in and drinking beers?”

Blaine gives Kennedy a sweet smile, “it could be if you want it too.”

“I do,” Kennedy replies softly.

“Careful Rutherland, some might think I’m leading you to the dark side if you keep rebelling like that.”

“Maybe I’m sick of everyone controlling my life and want to just do something I want.”

Blaine laughs, “it was that mentality that got you into this scandal in the first place.” Blaine smiles but catches Kennedy’s demeanour deflating slightly, “hey Kennedy I was kidding.”

“I know,” Kennedy stares down at the bottle in her hand, slightly swinging the bottle back and forth in her hand, “it’s just Winston has been on my ass about damage control and nothing seems to be working.”

Blaine nonchalantly shrugs, “take it from someone who has been in countless scandals, it will eventually blow over, you just gotta let it play out and soon everything will be back to normal.” Blaine downs the rest of her drink before reaching into the cooler for another, “come on Rutherland, you’re falling behind.” Kennedy senses the challenge in Blaine’s tone, as she downs her entire drink in one giant swig, slightly wincing once she’s done as the acid reflux hits her. “You good?”

Kennedy triumphantly wipes her mouth with her hand, “pass me another.” The girls drink for a while, stopping every now and then to eat whatever food Blaine had packed in her basket but as the sun fully sets, darkening the night sky, Kennedy cranes her head up, her expression sobering.

“Rutherland?” Kennedy hums non committedly, “Kennedy.” Blaine says a little louder, tearing Kennedy out of her thoughts, “you okay?”

“Yeah I’m just thinking.”

“Care to share?” Blaine wiggles her eyebrows as she moves closer to the girl, wrapping her arm around her. Kennedy rests her head on her shoulder, before sighing heavily.

“Winston came up with an idea that might help me clean up my image.”

“What is it?”

“He wants me to date one of our classmates.” Kennedy feels Blaine freezing for a moment, before her hand warmly rubs at the exposed skin on Kennedy’s side. 

“Do you know who?”

Kennedy shakes her head, “not yet. But is that okay with you?” Kennedy lifts her head up, to gaze into Blaine’s eyes.

“Sure, you do what you have to do for your mom,” Blaine gives Kennedy a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes, but Kennedy can see the sadness swimming beneath them.

“You know I only want you.”

“Geez Rutherland, don’t sound so desperate,” Blaine’s taunts, resulting in Kennedy nudging Blaine with her shoulder.

“Shut up.”

“Make me.” Blaine retorts, a confident smirk on her face. Kennedy takes on the challenge capturing Blaine in a long kiss. Blaine snakes her arm around Kennedy, pulling her closer, as her kisses grow hungrier, as she also devours Kennedy’s lips.

“Now who’s desperate?” Kennedy teases, breaking her kiss, letting her thumb trail the bad girl’s bottom lip. Blaine opens her mouth slightly, sucking on the tip of Kennedy’s thumb, letting it go with a satisfying pop. A devilish smirk appears on her face, as she watches Kennedy’s mouth hang open, dumbstruck.

“You were saying?” Blaine, cups the back of Kennedy’s lips and kisses her with dangerous recklessness. She peppers kisses up to Kennedy’s jaw and Kennedy feels her eyes rolling to the back of her head, once Blaine starts nibbling on her earlobe.

“Blaine…” she whimpers as she feels Blaine smiling against her neck.

“Do you like that?”

Kennedy nods aggressively, “don’t stop.” Something in Blaine seems to ignite, watching Kennedy unfold for her, and as kisses Kennedy ravenously, trying to set alight the fire inside of her. Kennedy moans into Blaine’s mouth, as their tongue’s tangle together, desire pooling in her body. Blaine slowly begins pushing Kennedy down on the blanket, until her head is resting on her pillow, she hooks her hands underneath Kennedy’s thighs spreading them, before pulling her closer. Kennedy gazes into the bad girl’s eyes, assessing the intensity in them as Blaine leans down whispering into her ear.

“Do you want me to stop?” Her hands tighten around Kennedy’s thighs, and Kennedy gulps heavily, her chest rising and falling faster, unable to keep her desire in check.

“No.”

Blaine pulls her head back slightly meeting Kennedy’s eyes, her voice low and soft, “if you want me to stop at any point you just tell me okay?”

Blaine slowly begins pulling Kennedy out of her clothes until she’s laying her fully nude. Blaine follows suit undressing herself while maintaining eye contact with Kennedy catching her every reaction, watching the hunger in her eyes intensify as she takes off more of her clothing. Under the night sky, Kennedy and Blaine’s bodies look like they’re glowing under the dim moonlight, their features only being accentuated by the shine of the stars. Blaine presses her lips to Kennedy’s chest, kissing and sucking around the apex of her breasts. She lightly begins kneading one of her breasts with one hand, her fingers slightly pinching the top, while she works wonders on the other, letting her tongue run all over it, as she softly sucks and nibbles, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from Kennedy. Blaine smirks and begins kissing down her stomach, feeling the goosebumps across her skin as the cold night air, delicately hitting their skin, Once she reaches her inner thigh, Blaine hooks her hand under Kennedy’s knee, placing her leg over her shoulder. Kennedy looks down to see the want in Blaine’s eyes, blazing right through her. Tantalizingly, Blaine puts her lips on her inner thigh, languidly running her tongue up and down. Kennedy digs her heel into Blaine’s shoulder slightly, indicating for her to continue pleasuring her instead of playing games but Blaine can’t help but draw out the foreplay longer. She sits up and begins kissing from the ankle of Kennedy’s leg that’s hooked around her shoulder, and begins kissing upwards until her lips are ghosting around her inner thigh.

“Please,” Kennedy croaks out, her panting becoming heavily as she squeezes her eyes shut.

Blaine smirks as she presses her tongue against Kennedy’s sensitive spot, and Kennedy immediately bucks her hips up in response. “You seem pretty desperate to me,” Blaine whispers as she runs her tongue over Kennedy’s folds once again. She begins sucking softly at her button, sending tingles up Kennedy’s spine as her fingers join her tongue. She begins circling her clit with her thumb as she laps at her entrance with her tongue, evoking a series of moans and groans from the girl. “God you taste so good.” She places two fingers into Kennedy’s entrance and begins to slowly pump them in and out. Kennedy props up on her elbows watching Blaine fuck her as her hip moving along with her fingers, only deepening the friction bringing her more pleasure. She throws her head back, gasping heavily, feeling her body tightening up as Blaine pumps more intensely, fucking the complete oblivion out of her.

She lets out a series of strangled moans, her voice becoming hoarse, as her entrance contracts against Blaine’s fingers indicating she’s close. Blaine brings her tongue back into the mix, licking up the juices around her fingers, and even after Kennedy comes, she continues fucking her, letting her ride of every wave of her orgasm. Kennedy’s legs begin shaking slightly, and Blaine wraps her arms around them, holding them in place as she continues eating her out, tasting the evidence of Kennedy’s desire which only seems to spur her on more. Eventually Kennedy flops down, exhausted, and Blaine delicately places her legs down, and crawls on top of her, giving her one final long kiss before collapsing down next to her.

“That was…” Kennedy bites her lips, still breathless from the ordeal as she snuggles into Blaine’s side.

“Yeah..” Blaine kisses the crown of Kennedy’s head, as her eyes stare into the night sky, her head full of thoughts.

“What are you thinking about?” Kennedy mumbles into her neck.

“Us.” Kennedy sighs heavily before turning to meet Kennedy’s eyes, her face slightly falling. “I- I really like you Kennedy and I don’t want stupid trashy tabloids ruining whatever comes for us. I already had one relationship destroyed by them, I won’t let them ruin you too.” Blaine’s voice comes out gruff, low but filled with intensity.

Kennedy shakes her head slightly, “I like you too Blaine, I won’t let anyone ruin this. Not the paps, not my mom, not this stupid feud, nothing.” Kennedy presses a sweet but gentle kiss against her lips.

Blaine sighs deeply, “I guess you should be going. Dionne can’t stall for that long.”

“I don’t think I can walk right now. Besides,” she presses her body closer to Blaine’s as Blaine tightens her hold around her, “I would rather stay out here with you.”

[fbfh]

“forever” paxton hall-yoshida x reader

genre: fluffy romance + mutual pining (not too slowburn tho lol)

word count: 3.4k

au: none?? jock x theatre nerd ig

pairing: Paxton x broadway baby!reader 

requested: yes !! i hope u like it uwu

warnings: one hell one motherfucking and i think that’s it for swearing?? um brief self deprecating/talking bad abt urself from paxton (bby boy needs a self love boost), reader and paxton are home alone together for a little while but nothing bad happens, uh,,, i think that’s it

summary: when Eleanor can’t run lines with you, she sends over a very attractive, mutually pining substitute.

reccomended songs: “Seventeen” - Tuck everlasting OBC, “The Kiss” -The Princess Diaries score

a/n: i’m p sure i kept the reader p gender neutral but there’s implied slightly long hair, and you play the lead (a girl named winnie) in ur schools production of tuck everlasting but like it’s theatre so anyone can play anyone lol,, this took so got dam long bc i’m fucking s o f t for jock x artist and it just sorta happened lol aLsO,, not super thoroughly edited so there might be a typo or two?? im tired lol

requests r open <3

You had only ever seen two athletes present during rehearsals. Once when Madeline (who at the time was playing Penny in your production of Hairspray) was dating a guy from the soccer team. The other was when the star of the basketball team had come in to give your choreographer pointers for the basketball scenes during High School Musical. 

Until now.

You had run onstage part of the way through “Live Like This”, which wasn’t out of the ordinary since so much progress had been made on the costumes. You were still tying the ribbon on your pinafore as you jumped into the song, but when your eyes met a face in the usually empty auditorium, you faltered. You almost sang the wrong verse, but recovered quickly, continuing with the blocking. What felt like a moment later, the number was almost done and you were nearing the end of your counterpoint with Mae Tuck - played by Eleanor, of course. Who could be better for the part? You held out the last note, trying to stay in character despite all the distractions in the back of your mind. You had to talk to Eleanor when the director called for 10; she’d started telling you how Devi was being weird recently. Also, what the Hadestown was Paxton Hall-Yoshida doing chilling in the auditorium? You shoved all that away, focusing on staying in character until the director called for a break. 

‘I want to go to the fair. I want to go so badly! I just need a change, need to get out of this house for a little while. I never do anything, so this can’t be asking for too much, right?’ 

You projected all that into your everything - face, voice, mannerisms, energy.

“Hold!” 

Everyone froze.

The director wrote a few things on his paper, sighed, and underlined something several times. 

“Okay, good job! I need to revise some of the blocking, then we’ll do notes, so take ten.” Your sudden nerves had definitely made you pitchy, you knew that would be one of your notes for sure. 

A chorus of “Thank you ten”s erupted, and you immediately ran to Eleanor, telling the others good job as you passed. 

You leaned in and started speaking to her, quietly.

“Okay you need to finish telling me about Devi, and that other news you’re being so cryptic about! Also, what’s up with Fierro over there?” you nodded towards Paxton hoping he wouldn’t see, and you noticed Fab is sitting near him. You realized they’re probably waiting for Eleanor and/or Devi. That must be it, he’s been hanging out with them lately, right? Eleanor gasped.

“You’re right! Paxton is such a Fierro!”

You cringed inwardly a little bit as her voice carried through the auditorium, mixing with the others. Your eyes darted over to him for a fraction of a second. Oh god. He was looking at you. Or in your general direction at least. Lena, the costumer, walked around the set gingerly, following you around and getting you out of your dress incredibly carefully as you and Eleanor walked off stage. 

“No! Well, yes- but no. What’s he doing here? Jocks never come here during rehearsals. I saw Fab too, are you guys and Devi getting dinner or something?” You said, entering the auditorium, and stepping out of the dress. You grabbed sweatpants and a silky, floral kimono jacket from your bag to throw over your leotard and tights. She waved back at Fab before sitting down in the front. You both grabbed your fans and dramatically flicked them open in sync. Your wrists fluttered, cooling both of you off.  A knowing, and slightly mischievous, look came on her face. 

“Devi and Fab and I are. Paxton must be here for something… else.” she shrugged, nodding towards Paxton. You looked over again. He was staring at you. You did a double take and tried to hold back your smile. 

“Wh- I do not know to what you are referring.” 

“To what I am referring is the blush on his cheeks.”

You barely held back a nervous, bubbling laugh.

“He is not blushing! Why would he be blushing!”

“I don’t know,” She shrugged, “Just like how I don’t know that he’s been loitering in the halls outside the music room during your last three solo music rehearsals.”

You struggled for an answer. Before you could form one, you were interrupted.

“Okay, okay what is the best Lin Manuel Miranda musical? Because Kathryn thinks it’s Hamilton-” 

“Duh!”

“-But I think it’s In the Heights! It’s an underrated jewel!” Jonah interjected, still wearing his Jesse Tuck hat. 

You considered for a moment.

“I mean, they’re too different to compare. In the Heights has the same energy as Rent - showcasing what goes on in ordinary people’s lives, and how love ties us all together,” he nodded in agreement, “But Hamilton is on a way larger scale, almost Les Mis meets Fun Home vibes. But in terms of personal preference…” Eleanor scoffed at your answer, and Jonah went back to debate further with Kathryn.

“Anyway,” you turned back to Eleanor to ask her what the hell she meant by Paxton Hall-Yoshida was blushing. But before you could-

“Eleanor, we need you to try on your blue dress again,” Lena was already pulling her away, “I had the empire waist in the right place but half the pins fell out, and it’s just...” And she was whisked away before you could finish the thought. You just had time to help Holly get out her wig pins and drink some lemon water before notes. Eleanor still wasn’t back, so you made sure to write down hers for her. It was pretty standard; be quiet backstage, go over your lines, don’t touch props that aren’t yours, don’t eat in costume, and a couple blocking changes you made note of. After your end of rehearsal warm downs and huddle, everyone left relatively quickly. You ducked into the bathroom to freshen up a little. Sometimes it was hard coming down from such intense energy after rehearsal. You mentally ran through your to do list. You needed to get some more tea, write that essay when you got home, go over your notes- You gasped, cutting off your own train of thought. You ran out of the bathroom to look for Eleanor, still clutching her notes in hand. 

~

Your voice still echoed in Paxton’s ears. He wished he had a whole album of you singing. Your voice made him want to ruin his spotify algorithm by listening to nothing else. You had looked at him a couple times, and his heart had almost stopped. He didn’t know eye contact could be so intense. It’s probably just cause you’re like, the only person in the audience. Where else is she supposed to look? He deflated a little. He heard his name and looked over to you and Eleanor talking together. Hopefully it was about him. Hopefully it was good. He checked his phone, trying to look busy. When he glanced up to see if you were looking, you were gone. He started to look around for you when he saw Eleanor waving at Fab, and sure enough, you were next to her. What he didn’t expect was you dropping your dress to the ground. Time slowed down (and his heart sped up) as you stretched a little, and pulled out sweatpants from your bag.

Wow.

 You had on what looked like a bathing suit on underneath, and a few other people had done the same, but he knew that image would be in his memory, probably forever. His heart was beating in his ears and he knew he must be blushing.

“You okay, Paxton?” Fab asked, a seat or two away. Oh god, he didn’t want people asking why he blushed every time he looked at you! He muttered something about needing to make a call and headed for the doors. Don’t look back at her, don’t look back at her… His eyes involuntarily darted in your direction right before he left. You had on a flowy translucent jacket, your hair thrown back supermodel style as you fanned yourself to cool down. He needed to cool down too. Maybe a cold shower, a really cold shower.

~

You managed to find Eleanor just before she left. Two girls were with her, you had seen Fab once, and you’d heard a lot about Devi, but had never been introduced. 

You gave Eleanor her notes, and she hugged you.

“You’re a lifesaver!” 

“Of course, I-”

“Uh, who’s this?” you looked over, and the shorter girl - Devi, based on what you’d heard about her -  was giving you a weird look. You introduced yourself. 

“Nice to meet you. How do you know Eleanor?” said the taller girl - definitely Fab.

“Oh,” you smiled, “she’s my almost mother in law. And my arch rival,” you counted on your fingers, “my sister, my niece, my lover, my husband, and…” you trailed off, trying to think of the other dynamics your characters had had in past shows.

“Your co-conspirator.” 

“Right,” you laughed. Devi and Fab looked at you two.

“We’re in the musical together.” you clarified. You were about to part ways when you called to Eleanor, “Hey, we’re still on for running lines tomorrow night?” 

“Uh… Sounds good!” she walked away quickly, speaking to Devi and Fab in hushed tones. Something was definitely up. That was typical Eleanor Scheming behavior. 

~

That night, you almost couldn’t sleep. This wasn’t the normal post rehearsal can’t sleep. In fact, Tuck Everlasting was the last thing on your mind as you readjusted your pillows and snuggled into your duvet. You stared at the neon blue stars projected and swirling on your ceiling. You sighed. Again. Your brain was a 24/7 livestream of Paxton Hall-Yoshida to relax/study to. You saw him again, his face in the dimly lit auditorium, Adonis in a sea of faded seats. If you hadn’t been sure before, you knew now that red was definitely his color. You rolled onto your side. Your heart picked up speed as a thought crossed your mind. You could almost see Paxton now, kneeling next to you, his fingertips brushing your cheek. The piano underscore to “Seventeen” ran through your mind. You could imagine him saying “Wait with me, we could share the world…” so vividly it almost hurt. He leaned in, and… 

You let out a loud sigh and rolled over again. Your heart was fully saturated. That’s more than enough pining for tonight. 

~

“Paxton!” 

He was a little surprised when Eleanor just walked up to him at lunch the next day. Most people were too intimidated to approach him out of the blue. 

“I have a plan.”

“Uh, I don’t know what you-”

“Cut the crap, I know you like her.” 

His face blanched. Well, yeah of course he did. Who wouldn’t? He was going to ask Eleanor if there was something he could do to win you over, just not here, not now. Not where everyone could watch and jeer and rib him for it. Just like they were doing now. 

“Woah, dude, who is it?” Trent asked. He fumbled for words. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He hadn’t kept his crush a secret because he was embarrased of you, he’d kept it a secret because his dumbass friends wouldn’t get you. Hell, he barely got you. You were so deep, and emotive, and artistic... 

“Bro, if you like her as much as it seems like you do,” Trent continued, “you gotta win her over.” He was a little shocked at the agreement murmuring through his group of friends. He didn’t know how to respond. Trent turned to Eleanor.

“What’s the plan, drama mama?”

“First of all,” she said, an almost humorously dangerous look on her face, “never call me that again. Second,” she shoved some papers into Paxton’s hands, “meet me in the music room immediately after school.” She started back for her table. Trent looked back over to Paxton. 

“You gotta do it, dude. We’ll cover for you at swim.” 

The rest of his friends agreed. He was pleasantly surprised at how supportive they were being. 

“Yeah, I guess... we’ve got a plan.”

~

The next day went by pretty smoothly. No rehearsal was scheduled since they were finishing construction for some of the sets, but everyone was instructed to do a couple read throughs of the script, focusing on scenes they’re still forgetting, to make sure everyone’s off book. You stopped by 7 Eleven to get a blue slurpee (for homework) and a couple coconut waters (for run throughs). You texted Eleanor on your way to the slurpee machine. 

okay so do you like the mango coconut water or the pineapple one?? It’s the mango one right?? i always forget lmao

sent at 4:16 pm

btw I don’t have that much homework so you can probs come by around 5:30 if you’re ready by then

sent at 4:16 pm

Bae Tuck

OMFG!! I totally forgot about running lines tonight, I can’t make it! :( but I’ll send someone over to help you out. :)

sent at 4:17 pm

You squinted at your screen. That was weird. Eleanor never used colon parentheses smilies. Like, ever. She always used emojis, and usually way more than two per text. 

yeah np, are u good? ♡

sent at 4:17 pm

Bae Tuck

Yes :)

sent at 4:18 pm

Bae Tuck

Also get the passionfruit one 🥥🍠 👀

sent at 4:18

that’s,,, el that’s a sweet potato,,

sent at 4:19 pm

Bae Tuck

Close enough 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

sent at 4:19pm

...Okay? That was definitely weird. You shook it off and headed for the counter to pay. You stopped half way there, and turned back to swap the mango for passionfruit. 

Not long after you had finished your homework and tidied up your room a little, the doorbell rang. You exited the kitchen, drinks in hand, and opened the door. Your heart caught in your throat. Paxton Hall-Yoshida was standing outside. And you were pretty sure he looked nervous. You both just stood there for a second. No one breathed, no one spoke. 

“Uh, hi, do you want to…” you backed up, motioning for him to come inside. 

“Yeah, thanks,” he said, entering the doorway. Paxton motherfucking Hall-Yoshida was in your living room. You held out a hand to him.

“Coconut water?” he took the box, looked at the label, and smiled. 

“Yeah, thanks,” he said again, this time a faint, yet unmistakable note of joy in his voice. He took a sip. He smiled.

“Passionfruit’s my favorite.” You silently thanked Eleanor, who you knew must have planned all this. Most of the evening was a blur, and you thanked god your family wasn’t home right now. You went upstairs, texted Eleanor asking what the actual fuck, made some surprisingly comfortable small talk, then filled him in on how to run lines. 

“Do you think playing the soundtrack would help you… get into character?” he asked. 

“I would probably just end up singing the whole thing,” You laughed and tried to ignore the butterflies in your chest. The main scene you struggled with was before “Seventeen”. It was harder to get into Winnie’s head because you had no romantic feelings for Jonah, and you always just made each other laugh. You had started with a few easier scenes of Winnie and Jesse, like the fair, and the dialogue before “Top of the World”. 

“That was really good,” he said, and you felt the sincerity of his words. 

“Thanks…” you smiled and took a sip of coconut water, hoping you weren’t blushing too hard. 

“So what next?” he asked. 

“Probably the scene before ‘Seventeen’,” you said, giving him the page and scene number, “it’s one of the hardest ones for me. I guess I just can’t connect to Jonah the way Winnie does.” 

“Huh,” he said, skimming the page. When you looked up at him, he had something between a smile and a smirk playing at his lips. You made yourself look away before you got too distracted. You refused to think about the fact that you were sitting across from Paxton Hall-Yoshida on your bed, in your room, like you were… close with each other. His eyes skimmed the script, finding the dialogue. He glanced up at you and nodded, indicating he found his place. You began.

“I was so afraid you wouldn’t get away,” you said, jumping into character.

“I may be 102, but I can still outrun anyone,” a smile played at his lips. You smiled, then let your face fall.

“I’m so sorry, I-I tried to warn you-”

“No, no,” he interjected almost seamlessly, “It’s okay, it’s… refreshing having someone look after me who isn’t my mom.” His eyes flickered between your face and the page. You smiled with him for a second, then let distress cloud your face.

“Jesse… that man came by my house today. He heard the music box, he knows about you-”

“I know he knows…” 

You continued on with the scene and he trailed off when he came to the sheet music for the song Seventeen. You took in a breath to start the dialogue in the middle of the song, but before you could…

“Six years from now you will turn seventeen,

Turn seventeen,

The same age as me,

Six years from now,

Go to the spring,

Go to the spring and drink…”

He was singing to you. He was looking at you and singing to you. His eyes only flickered down to the page to confirm the lyrics. He was nervous, you could tell. But through his hesitance, the emotion in his voice was sincere. Your heart was beating faster. You didn’t even notice your pulse was ringing in your ears, you were too focused on Paxton. 

“I'll wait for you till you turn seventeen,

Turn seventeen,

The same age as me,

Six years from now,

Go to the spring,

Go to the spring and drink…” Your hand rose to cover your mouth. He hesitated, and you remembered your dialogue.

“Uh, wh-what if I… forget where the spring is?” He reached out and took your free hand in his. Your pulse was off the charts. “I’ll go get you some water. Just… remember to keep it somewhere safe. Somewhere no one will find it.” You got the feeling he wasn’t just talking about the water. You knew he had never really been in a serious relationship before, and it clicked suddenly - if he learned an entire song to duet with you, just how much he must like you. You exhaled a breathy laugh, unsure how to process the sudden euphoria you felt. 

“You make the world sound so… exciting. I just want to drink the water right now!”

“Uh, no. You have to wait.” you both smiled, anticipating the upcoming joke.

“Why?” you ask, “What’s the difference?” You held your breath as he tried not to laugh through the delivery of the punchline. 

“Believe me,” he rubbed his thumb over your hand, “there’s a difference.” You both chuckled, and he continued singing. You were so focused on him, so… touched that he would do all this for you. 

“Winnie, wait with me,

And we could be married,

Winnie, wait with me,

And we'll share the world,

Winnie, you can stop time,

And live like this,

Forever…”

“I could live like this forever,” you echoed.

“Live like this...” you sang in tandem.

“What do you say, Winnie? Do you want to…” he broke character suddenly, and asked, his eyes boring into yours, “Do you want to go out some time?” 

He could see the adorable smile blooming on your face, even from behind your hand. You nodded.

“Yes, I-I would love that,” and you began to sing the last line in the song, “Forever-” 

But before you finished holding out the note, his lips were on yours. His mouth moved slowly, intentionally, against yours. You followed his lead, flustered. He leaned further forward, his palm caressing your cheek. It was everything you imagined it would be, and you had quite the imagination. Your head was angled up and your hands rested themselves on his back, one tracing little shapes. Your shoulders were pressed against each other and neither of you could think. He was so warm. He tasted like coconut and passion fruit, and a distant part of your mind silently thanked Eleanor again. 

You really could live like this forever.

[teenwolffanclub-me]

Season 2, Episode 1: Omega (Part One)

Welcome to Season 2 bitches! This one’s gonna be fun 😉 Here’s the masterlist for the series if you wanna catch up!

Pairing: Stiles x Psychic! Reader

Notes: thanks everyone for the encouragement to continue!! every single one of your messages made my heart so happy! this is more of a filler chapter to catch us up but hopefully you guys still like it! I’m super excited for this season and have lots of good stuff planned 😏

I love feedback so let me know what you think!

                                                    —————————

“Oh my God, Stiles. Just do it already.”

I huffed out an impatient breath and watched as he furrowed his eyebrows in concentration. We were sitting in the middle of his bed, my crossed legs only an inch away from his.

“Hey, I’m the anchor here. Alright?” His honey eyes twitched at me as one of his hands hovered above mine. “Let me do my thing.”

It was always hit or miss, whether Stiles’ touch would help calm my abilities or set them off. We’d been practicing the last couple days, trying to figure out how I could regain some control.

Most of the time, I felt like I was completely losing my mind. My thoughts were constantly racing. I was hearing and seeing things that weren’t actually there and showing up in random places again. None of it made sense. Peter had done something when he bit me, dialed my senses up to a hundred, and I had no idea how to fix it.

I was brought out of my thoughts as I felt a gentle touch on the top of my hand. My eyes flickered down to my lap, where Stiles was hesitantly running his fingers along my skin.

“Anything?” My gaze flickered up to meet his, my heart fluttering at the intense concern shining back at me. He hadn’t stopped worrying since I woke up in the hospital, so now I was growing concerned about his mental state.

“No.” A small smile twitched at my lips as I realized my senses had calmed significantly. The dull hum that had become a constant in my mind since I was bitten was gone. I breathed a sigh of relief, relishing in the few moments of silence. “Nothing.”

“Okay. So hand on hand...good. Hand on arm...bad.” Stiles’ eyes narrowed as he nodded to himself, referring to yesterday when he’d barely brushed against me and I’d practically passed out.

I glowered at him and slid my hands out from under his. “I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware that we had any idea how this works.” He quipped with a swivel of his head, his eyebrows raising incredulously.

“I think it has more to do with....” I trailed off with a sigh, realizing that I actually had no idea what I was talking about. “Yeah, no. I’m at a loss.”

A frown pulled at his lips as he took one of my hands again and dragged his fingers along my skin, moving up my arm inch by inch. I let out content breath when he reached my shoulder and squeezed it gently. A moment later his hand cupped the side of my neck, his fingers tangling in my hair as his thumb rubbed soothingly at my jaw.

I watched his eyes as they followed each of his movements, seemingly waiting for something bad to happen. When they flickered up to meet mine, I practically melted into a puddle. They were rounded gently, glimmering a bright golden color as a ray of sunlight snuck in through his blinds, perfectly illuminating his freckled skin.

I couldn’t help but lean forward to capture his lips with mine, my eyes fluttering closed in the process. He stiffened for a split second, as if caught off guard, before relaxing into the kiss. His fingers twitched against my face, but he was otherwise completely still in front of me.

When my tongue tentatively swept along his bottom lip, a quick image flashed in my mind. I grimaced involuntarily, whatever it was disappearing too fast to decipher. 

“What is it?” Stiles pulled away from me with a jerk, his eyes wide as they jumped around my face.

I shook my head, hoping that would somehow clear everything away, and sent him a tight lipped smile. “Nothing. Promise.”

His eyes narrowed for a split second in disbelief, but he seemed to think better of arguing as he pulled me back to him with the hand that still rested against my face. I wasn’t exactly lying to him, but he was already worried enough. He didn’t need to know every single time something weird happened to me.

I didn’t even realize we were slowly drifting toward the mattress until my back pressed against it lightly. I brought my hands up to the sides of his face, momentarily forgetting that his hair was too short to run my fingers through. The spiky buzz cut poked at my skin as I ran my fingers along the back of his head. His free hand squeezed at my hip gently as he leaned over me.

I pulled away fractionally to catch my breath, giggling slightly at his timid nature. “Stiles...”

“Mmm?” He hummed against my lips and leaned forward, trying to reconnect them.

“I’m not going to break.” My voice was barely above a whisper as I slid one hand down to push against his chest, creating enough distance between us so that I could catch his eyes.

He let out a sigh, gaze flickering around my face in question. Since the day I was bitten, he’d been treating me like a porcelain doll. It was almost like he as afraid to touch me, which was honestly understandable because half the time when he did I lost my mind, but I needed him to cut it the fuck out if we were going to be together.

He nodded slightly before reaching down to grip my hand. His mouth met mine again as he tangled our fingers together and gently pressed my arm into the mattress beside my head. My lips twitched into a small smile against his as our tongues danced languidly. An idea suddenly popped into my mind and I pressed against him until he let me roll him onto his back.

I landed on top of him, my legs on either side of his hips. I pulled back and dragged my lips along his jaw, lightly pressing kisses against his smooth skin as I continued down his neck. He let out a shuddering breath and suddenly wrapped an arm around my waist, flipping me onto my back. He used a little more force than necessary, sending us clumsily tumbling off the side of the bed. 

I yelped as we crashed onto the floor, Stiles managing to turn at the last second so that he took the brunt of the fall. He grunted in pain, his eyes pinching shut as he grimaced beneath me. I winced, pushing myself up onto my elbows to remove some of the weight from him. 

His eyes popped open and we stared at each other for a long moment before erupting in a fit of giggles. I let my head fall against his chest, feeling my worries drift away in the comfort of his arms.

“That was so your fault.”

                                                      —————————

I huffed out an annoyed breath as I climbed into the Jeep, shutting the passenger door behind me with a slam. I pressed my back against the leather seat and rubbed the scratchy material I’d just stolen between my fingers.

“Did you get it?”

My eyes narrowed into a glare before sweeping toward Stiles as I held up the fabric in my hands. Clearly, he wasn’t very observant at the moment. “This is stupid.”

“Just shove the thing in his face and let’s find her.” His hand, which rested on the back of our seats, gestured behind us.

I hesitated, pursing my lips tightly. “If my mom gets fired because of this—”

“There’s no way anything’s gonna go wrong, Y/N.” Scott spoke up from the backseat as he reached forward and snatched the hospital gown from my lap.

I whipped around to glare at him. “You do realize that’s exactly what people say before everything goes horribly wrong?”

He just rolled his eyes and brought the gown up to his nose, ignoring my jab. After several unsuccessful days of Stiles and I trying to figure out how my personal brand of crazy works, Scott had the ridiculous idea to find Lydia by scent. There was no way it was going to work. 

At this point, she’s been missing for five days. It was honestly impressive, in a terrible way, that no one had been able to find her yet. I was beginning to worry that she wasn’t even in Beacon Hills anymore. I couldn’t help but think, if she were still here, that we should’ve come across something by now.

Stiles started the Jeep from beside me, instantly jumping in surprise as the headlights illuminated a familiar thin figure. “Jesus Christ...”

Allison narrowed her eyes at him before rushing over to the passenger window. 

“What are you doing here? Someone’s gonna see us.” Scott squished me against my seat as he leaned forward to peer out the window.

I pressed my shoulder into his chest to give myself more room, but he didn’t even budge an inch. I huffed in annoyance, watching as his wide eyes flickered around the dimly lit parking lot of the hospital before meeting hers again.

The two of them had been sneaking around for the last week, after Allison’s dad caught them making out in her car and nearly killed him on the spot. In exchange for his life, she’d promised to stay away from him. That lasted about an hour—which was honestly impressive given how obsessive they are—before he was sneaking into her house again.

“I don’t care. She’s my best friend and we need to find her before they do.” Allison insisted, completely ignoring my existence as she looked into Scott’s eyes pleadingly.

I squirmed uncomfortably under his weight, but quickly gave up on getting free. I sagged back in my seat with a sigh, knowing I wouldn’t be moving until he did.

“I can find her before the cops do.” His brows furrowed in offense as he probably assumed she was doubting his werewolf abilities.

“What about before my father?” Her voice rose with worry, and I shoved against Scott once again as my heart skipped a beat in alarm.

“He knows?” My question was slightly muffled behind him, until he finally leaned back with a grimace in my direction.

“Yeah. I just saw him and three other guys leave my house in two SUVs.” Allison’s eyes flickered between the two of us, wide with concern.

Well, shit. That couldn’t mean anything good. If her dad and other men were out looking for Lydia, our timeline was easily just cut in half. Maybe they wanted to kill her, or just catch her, but we couldn’t sit by and let either happen.

“A search party?” A spark of hope rose in my chest, although I knew it was a long shot.

“More like a hunting party.” She sighed, her eyes shining with guilt as if it were somehow her fault.

I popped the passenger door open quickly, scooting closer to Stiles to give her some room. Clearly, she wanted to come with us, and I wasn’t about to turn away extra help. “Get in.”

We drove in tense silence for a few minutes, all of us lost in our own thoughts. I was stuck on the same fear I’d had since the dance. It was highly unlikely that Lydia wasn’t a werewolf. I mean, if she wasn’t, she must be dead by now, and that wasn’t something I could even begin to entertain.

Then there was the fact that she would not handle being a werewolf well. I dreaded the idea of chaining her up on full moons, or dealing with extra moodiness on top of her usual attitude. It wouldn’t be pretty for any of us.

“Alright.” Stiles suddenly spoke up, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel anxiously. “If she’s turning, would they actually kill her?”

Allison’s eyes met his in the rear view mirror from beside me. I’d switched places with Scott when she got into the car, putting him up front with Stiles.

“I don’t know. They won’t tell me anything. All they say is ‘we’ll talk after Kate’s funeral, when the others get here.’”

“Others? What others?” My head snapped in her direction, my stomach twisting uncomfortably. This situation was quickly going from bad to worse, especially if they were calling in more hunters.

She sighed dejectedly and avoided my eyes. “I don’t know. They won’t tell me that, either.”

“Okay. Your family has some serious communication issues to work on. Scott, are we going the right way?” Stiles glanced toward the passenger side expectantly.

Scott nodded, his head sticking out the window as he tried to catch a scent. I rolled my eyes and dropped my head against the back of our seat. This whole thing was completely ridiculous. He may have hightened senses, but that didn’t mean he was a fucking search dog.

Even I could admit that we were desperate. We were taking things into our own hands as best we could. Scott was really our only hope at this point, which was pretty sad. He directed us all the way to the preserve, where we got out to continue on foot.

“She came here? Are you sure?” Stiles squinted his eyes at the Hale house a few minutes later as we approached it cautiously.

None of us had been here since the night Kate and Peter died, and I think it was safe to say that it wasn’t high on our list of places to visit. I’d be more than happy to never come here again.

Just the sight of the withering structure had my heart racing in my chest. Allison only glanced at the house fleetingly before crossing her arms and ducking her head away. It was probably harder for her to be here than any of us. Even though her aunt was a crazy bitch, she was still grieving as anyone would.

“This is where the scent leads.” Scott confirmed, his brows furrowed in confusion.

Dried leaves crunched beneath our feet as we slowly made our way toward the house. All of us were on high alert, waiting for something terrible to happen. Honestly, it was still hard for me to believe that Peter was actually dead. There was just something off about the whole thing, but I couldn’t place it for the life of me.

“Alright. But has Lydia ever been here?” Stiles turned around expectantly as he lead us up the small hill in their yard.

“Not with me.” Allison frowned, still refusing to look at the house.

Scott and I shook our heads as his eyes flickered over us. He sighed heavily before facing forward again and letting his hands smack against his thighs. He was a natural born detective, and it was killing him that he couldn’t figure this out. Despite our best efforts with my abilities and all the information we could get out of his dad, it didn’t feel like we were any closer to finding her.

“Maybe she came here on instinct, like she was looking for Derek?” Allison leaned toward me and mumbled the theory, as if she didn’t want to admit that Lydia could actually be a werewolf.

“You mean...looking for an alpha?” Scott sighed, easily hearing her with his heightened senses, and looking very troubled by the idea.

“Wolves need a pack, right?” She pressed, playing with the material of her sweater’s sleeve nervously.

“Not all of them.” Scott muttered, his eyes trained on the house in front of us as if waiting for something to jump out.

She let out a huff in annoyance at his cryptic answer. “But would she have been drawn to an alpha? Is it an instinct to be part of a pack?”

“Yeah,” His lips pulled into a knowing frown. “Were stronger in packs.”

“Like strength in numbers.” I muttered, more to myself than anyone else. It made sense. Wolves were pack animals in the wild, after all.

Scott suddenly came to a stop and glanced between Allison and I, his eyes . “No, like literally stronger. Faster. Better in every way.”

That must’ve been why Peter was so hellbent on turning as many people as he could. He was a power hungry monster—even as a human—add in all the werewolf shit and it’s no wonder he went insane.

“Whoa, hey. Look at this. You guys see this?” Stiles’ voice rose in concern from behind me and I turned to see him crouched near the ground.

I hadn’t even realized that he was rummaging through the leaves around us, too caught up in my own thoughts. I quickly made my way to his side, my eyes widening when I caught sight of a thin wire tied tightly between two trees.

“I think it’s a—” My breath caught, the words dying on my lips as Stiles tugged on it, some rustling and a grunt instantly sounding behind us.

“Uh. Stiles...” Scott’s voice was breathless.

“Yeah, buddy?”

I peered at him over my shoulder, wincing as my eyes landed on his he upside down frame, the wire wrapped tightly around one of his ankles.

Stiles spun on his heel beside me, his face falling into a grimace at the sight. “Oh.”

“Next time you see a tripwire, don’t trip it.” Scott shrugged, his voice light with amusement.

“Noted.” Stiles nodded quickly, moving forward to inspect the wire in an effort to release him.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of this situation. We couldn’t get through a single mission without something going wrong, no matter how small. Allison joined my side as we made our way toward Scott, but we only made it a few steps before his eyes widened in alarm and he held his hands out to stop us.

“Wait, wait, wait!” He started swinging as he jerked his arms frantically. “Someone’s coming.”

My heart skipped a beat as panic surged through me at his words. I could only assume that the trap was left by hunters, which meant he was as good as dead if we left him hanging there.

“Go!” He snapped when none of us moved, causing Allison to bolt away instantly.

I hesitated, wishing there was something I could do. Realistically, I knew I’d be no match for literally anyone who tried attacking me—let alone trained hunters—and Scott could easily defend himself. I’d seen it several times when he fought Derek, and then Peter. But there was no telling how many there would be, and he was at a serious disadvantage.

Stiles gripped my arm and dragged me along with him, only stopping once we were safely hidden behind a nearby tree. I squinted through the darkness as four men emerged from the distance. When I saw that one of them was Allison’s dad, I couldn’t help but glance her way. Her eyes were firmly planted on Scott, though, her brows pinched with worry.

“Scott.” He greeted curtly, crouching down to meet him face to face. “How are you doing?”

Scott let out a nervous breath, his skin turning pink from all the blood rushing to his head. “Mr. Argent. Good. You know, just hangin’ out. This one of yours? It’s, uh, good. Nice design. Very constricting.”

I let my eyes fall closed and internally cringed at his nervous rambling. Stiles let out a sigh from beside me, probably thinking the same thing. Technically, we were trespassing on private property, and he wasn’t building a very good case for his innocence.

“What are you doing out here, Scott?” Mr. Argent’s voice was hard, disapproving almost, as his eyes flickered over his dangling body.

“Looking for my friend.” He said quickly, surprising me with his honesty.

“Ah, that’s right. Lydia’s in your group now, isn’t she? Part of the clique? Is that the word you use? Or is there another word for it?” Mr. Argent’s gaze was unrelenting as he stared Scott down. My jaw clenched at his threatening tone. I didn’t like what he was implying. “Part of your pack?”

“Actually, clique sounds about right to me.” Scott’s voice hardened as all traces of amusement left his face, instantly in full protective mode.

“I hope so. ‘Cause I know she’s a friend of Allison’s, and one special circumstance—like yourself—one, I can handle. Not two.”

I heard Allison’s sharp intake of breath from the tree beside us, and let my attention flicker toward her. She was staring at her dad with wide eyes and parted lips, as if she couldn’t believe what he was saying. Although he wasn’t being explicit, it was obvious what he meant.

If they find her, they wouldn’t hesitate to kill her.

“Scott, do you know what a hemicorporectomy is?” Mr. Argent drawled, still kneeling on the damp ground in front of Scott.

He threw his arms out, looking completely over this conversation and being upside down. “I have a feeling I don’t want to.”

“Medical term for amputating somebody at the waist. Cutting them in half. Takes a tremendous amount of strength to cut through tissue and bone like that.” As he spoke, one of his hands came up to swipe across Scott’s abdomen. “Let’s hope a demonstration never becomes necessary.”

With that, he slowly rose to his feet and walked away. The three men that had come with him followed suit wordlessly, disappearing into the darkness a moment later. We all instantly rushed to Scott’s side, Allison bending over to look into his eyes anxiously.

“Are you okay?” She fanned her hands over him, as if trying to help but not sure what to do.

“Yeah. Fine. Just another life threatening conversation with your dad.” He scoffed humorlessly, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.

He’d been “threatening” Scott’s life for weeks now, but hadn’t actually done anything. It was obvious that he was looking out for him, since we hadn’t had any more encounters—other than tonight—with hunters. It seemed to me that he had a soft spot for Scott, but had to keep up appearances since his daughter dating a werewolf would probably hurt his reputation.

I walked toward the tree where the tripwire was tied, turning back to Stiles expectantly. “A little help?”

He jogged my way with a huff, his breath condensing into a small cloud in front of his lips. Before we could even begin strategizing how to untie the thing, a snap sounded from behind us. I spun around quickly, thinking something was wrong, but let out a breath of relief when I saw that Scott was back on his feet.

The corner of his lips twitched into a smirk as he somehow retracted his claws back into his fingertips—which was honestly weird as fuck—and gestured toward the house. “You guys comin’?”

We followed his lead, continuing on our search for the night. We only stopped a few hours later, completely exhausted and nearly frostbitten, when Allison forced us to go home.

Tomorrow was my first day back at school since being bitten, and they were all way more concerned than necessary. At this point, that was the least of my worries. Our failed efforts tonight made me feel ten times worse, because we still didn’t find a single trace of Lydia.

My hope was dwindling by the minute, right along with her chances of survival.

Season 1, Episode 12 Episode 1, Part Two

[theonewiththefanfics]

Hate (one-shot)

Synopsys: Bucky and reader have been stuck in the safe house for quite a while now, and the snow doesn’t seem like it will be letting off any time soon. New Year is creeping closer and closer. And it’s just the Reader’s luck that she’s stuck with a person who absolutely despises her guts.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!Reader

Genre: fluuuuuuuuffff, soft angst 

Warnings: swearing, the reader is so dumb... like the last three brain cells she had, left the chat because of what an idiot she is

Word count: 2816

He hated her. Y/N was absolutely one hundred percent sure – Bucky Barnes despised her. The war veteran, the last serving Howling Commando, the longest-held war prisoner and the man who had stolen her heart hated her.

      She watched him from over the rim of her coffee cup, how his long brown locks fell over his high cheekbones, and he huffed pushing them away from his face. Y/N had to force down the groan of just how much she had to restrain herself from going over, running her fingers through his hair and maybe tying it back in a little bun. Fuck, if he ever did that, she was sure she’d die from the hotness that was Bucky Barnes.

      They hadn’t known one another for that long. Y/N had joined the Avengers a couple of months after the whole Thanos thing. For one, she had been one of the unfortunate ones to be dusted. She had been taking a warm, relaxing bath after a long day when her feet suddenly disintegrated in the water. The last thing Y/N had managed was to throw her book over the side, so at least that didn’t get wet.

      Sam had found her after everyone was brought back by Bruce. He was recruiting new people for the team as the new captain, and the first thing she had been there to witness was his try-on haul of the new star-spangled costume.

      “Don’t you think it’s a bit novel?” Y/N asked biting on her lip. “I think the shield would be enough to tell them who’s the boss.”

      “It’s a symbol!” Sam emphasized and turned around to look at his ass. “It’s supposed to send a message.”

      Y/N hid her smile behind her palm and shrugged. “Just… never picked you as the tights guy.”

      Sam groaned. “They are not tights!”

      That was the moment when Y/N had met Bucky, and that’s when all of her rational thinking flew out of the window faster than Redwing.

      He came sauntering into the living room, a grey T-shirt stained with sweat and clinging to his body, the fabric defining each and every muscle the man owned. When Sam said that Y/N started drooling quite literally, it might've been because of the fact that a little dribble of her coffee she had had in her mouth actually spilt out on her leg.

      “You look like the American fucking flag,” Bucky snorted and gulped down a large mouthful of water, cocking his hip out.

      Fuck, Y/N thought to herself, how in the absolute hell can someone drinking be the most sinful thing on Earth. Like holy hell when did sweat become a turn on for her? Especially when it slowly slid along his neck and disappeared down his chest. She had to close her eyes to remove the mental image of him panting on top of her. Sweaty, like in that moment, but because of different reasons.

      “Fuck off, tin can,” Sam snapped back, “or I’ll replace you with her.” He motioned with his head towards Y/N, and she ducked further down on the couch. “You’re not special with your sniping.”

      Bucky shook his head and threw her a quizzical look. “And what’s so special about you?”

      Y/N would’ve probably answered nothing, that she’s completely ordinary because actually talking about her abilities and giving herself some credit was way beyond her skill set, so Sam stepped in.

      “She’s an army vet and was in the Snakeskin program.”

      Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed. “Snakeskin?”

      “They were an elite ground force group of troops trained to be as stealthy as assassins. Her specialty is sniping. So, don't go on thinking you're something special. 'Cause you're not.”

      The super soldier now fully looked her over, and Y/N wanted the couch to cut open and swallow her whole, because holy fucking fuck, was Bucky’s gaze intense. It was like he was trying to carve out her soul just by looking at her. The only thing that came to her mind was to give him an awkward smile and a small wave. He gave her a nod and then looked back at Sam.

      “I’ll be out for the rest of the day. Steve said he wanted some help with repainting the fence.”

      “Yeah, you go be a good wife,” Sam waved him off and looked himself over once more in the mirror. “And please remind him he owes me twenty bucks.”

      “What for?” Bucky hollered from the hallway.

      “He knows!”

      They only heard a scoff before the elevator dinged, announcing Bucky’s exit.

      “So,” Sam looked at Y/N through the mirror. “That went well.”

      If only that was how she saw it. Y/N thought Bucky hated her, and Sam’s little remark about her replacing him was not sitting well with the woman. She wasn’t there to replace anyone, least of all one of her childhood heroes who was doing everything in his power to prove his worth to the world (even though she didn’t think he had anything to prove and everyone else could just go off and fuck themselves).

      She was just there to hopefully once again regain some sort of a sense to her life. After leaving the Snakeskin program, and being one of the victims of the Snap, it was hard to find where she belonged. Then Sam called Y/N up and told her they were reforming the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, and he wanted her to be a part of it, so she jumped on the opportunity.

      And that’s what lead them to that moment – Y/N slowly sipping her coffee as Bucky tried to finish up a crossword puzzle. From time to time she glanced up from the swirling black liquid to the super-soldier, but of course, he wasn’t paying any kind of attention to her. He never did.

      After their first meeting, their interactions were limited to small ‘hellos’ and ‘goodbyes’ and communicating during missions. There was never any direct animosity, but the fact that Bucky talked to everyone on a daily basis except for Y/N – well, she didn’t need it to be spelt out.

      But it was just Y/N’s luck, wasn’t it? First, she got sent out on a mission with a man who can’t stand to even spare her a glance, then they get snowed in without a way out (even the jet was seven feet under the snow), and now New Years was right around the corner, and she would have to spend it all alone.

      Y/N looked out the window to the never-changing scene of swirling white flakes. They weaved and moved in a dance she couldn’t comprehend. But while she watched what was happening beyond the glass, Bucky was watching her.

      His eyes trailed the way her face curved and sloped, eyelids half-closed surveying the scenery, but mostly how her flannel shirt had slipped off from one of her shoulders. He so badly wanted to reach out and gently place it back to where it was, but he couldn’t.

      Bucky was no longer the same confident man in an army uniform that used to sweep ladies off their feet and make them dance the night away. This man woke up in the middle of the night in cold sweat and could barely keep eye contact with anyone that wasn’t Steve, Shuri or Sam for no longer than five seconds. So, pulling Y/N’s shirt back up was out of the fucking question. But he didn’t have to dwell on it for too long.

      “I’m gonna take a shower,” she announced, although she had no real idea as to why. Bucky only responded with a hum, which she guessed was more than what she expected to receive, but then again – it was more of an acknowledgement than she’d gotten in the three days they’d been stranded together.

      The stream of hot water pelleting her skin was a welcome change from the icy touch of being ignored and discarded. Although Y/N was stuck in a safe house somewhere in the middle of the woods, in the middle of nowhere in Finland, it was a Stark-created safehouse. So, it was occupied by every possible piece of technology. Including the best speakers known to man.

      Because Y/N was a punk-rock emo bitch at heart (did you really think I wouldn’t put this in? Killjoys are back, suckers! Put on your fucking eyeliner and get ready cause it was not a phase, mom, it's a fucking lifestyle!), her playlist automatically switched from ‘Kicking-Ass’ that was designed to hype her up during missions to ‘Singing-Like-A-Rock-Star’ with ‘Gives You Hell’ blasting through the bathroom.

      It was like Tony had known that people would be absolutely jamming in the bathrooms because the floor was lined with a rubber mat, giving Y/N the freedom to go ham.

      And she sent up a little 'thank you' to wherever Tony was because she had needed that. She had needed to let go of all of the tension and thoughts that had collected in her body just so she could re-enter that same worrying state a second later. Just with clean hair now.

      Pulling on comfy grey sweats and a huge navy-blue T-shirt, she twisted the towel and plopped it back over her head to keep the wet strands away. The house was constantly warm because Bucky kept the fireplace stocked almost 24/7, but it was even warmer now as he had added a new pile of wood, though the man himself was nowhere to be seen. Which was fine by Y/N.

      With a huff and a roll of her head, she ventured into the kitchen, having decided that dinner needed to be had. It was halfway through her boiling pasta when the shrill sound of her phone ringing made her drop the sauce-slathered spoon.

      “Yeah?” She pressed the phone between her shoulder and ear and went to wash off the spoon, careful not to put the curved-inward part under the stream.

      “Y/N,” Sam’s warm voice invaded her senses. “How are you holding up? Fury and Maria says the storm’s still raging.”

      A glance outside of the window told her as much. “Any news on when it might stop?”

      “None at this moment,” Sam replied. “They’re checking every five minutes for an update so they can finally send an extraction bird out.”

      “Ooh, can you ask Maria to send the one with the bed?”

      “Sorry,” Sam sighed in mock sadness, “that one’s been sent out to Guatemala to pick up Wanda.”

      “Ugh,” Y/N groaned and threw her head back. “Damn Wanda and her mission. Could she not like manage until she got back to the Tower? It's not like she's had to sleep in the middle of the jungle or something?”

      Sam laughed, and it made her smile, knowing that he understood her joking tone. “Yeah, right? What a princess!”

      Y/N smiled and finally added the pasta to the boiling water. “What are you gonna get her for her birthday?”

      “Dunno,” her friend replied. “She’s been looking at that one perfume for a while, but we gotta figure out what Vis is getting first… speaking of other halves – you and Bucky getting on well?”

      Y/N huffed turning to face the boiling pot and stirring the pasta in it. A little vortex formed completely mimicking how she felt on the inside. “As well as two people who can’t stand to be near one another, but have to share a place, can.”

      She heard him chuckle. “Come on, it can’t be that bad! I still don’t think you’re in the right about this.”

      “About what?” her eyebrows furrowed. She took out a piece of pasta and chewed on it. Still wasn’t the right texture.

      “About Bucky. I think you’ve got it all wrong.”

      The scoff that wanted to escape her throat was blocked by the piece of food, and she almost choked on it. “Sam, he fucking hates me!”

      “I – I don’t hate you,” came a voice from behind Y/N, and she spun around, mouth left hanging open as her phone was clutched tightly by her ear.

      She could practically hear Sam grin through the phone. “I guess you gotta go.”

      Bucky stepped closer just as she lowered the now silent mobile. “Y/N, why would you ever think I hate you?”

      “Be – because you do?”

      “When did I say that?”

      She shook her head. “You didn’t have to.”

      Bucky’s whole face fell at her words. “What do you mean?”

      “I mean you talk with everyone else but me. You can’t look me in the eye one bit, and do I need to remind you when you actually left the whole Christmas gala thing right after I walked in, and I quote ‘I can’t be around her’.”

      Bucky’s eyes widened, and this time it was his jaw that hung open. “You heard that.”

      “Loud and clear.”

      “I – I,” he stammered and then cleared his throat. It was time to put all the cards on the table. “I only said that because had I stayed; I would’ve done something I’d regret.”

      “Like what?”

      “Like kissed you.”

      And there went Y/N’s breath. And her heart. And her sanity. And frankly, everything she’d ever known.

      “I would’ve most likely told you how I felt,” he said and stepped closer watching every facial feature of hers.

      “And how do I make you feel?” she breathed out.

      “Nervous. I haven’t had feelings like this for a girl in decades… and I didn’t know how to process them let alone act on them. Things have changed so much since I was chasing skirts… nowadays everything’s so complicated… and I was scared you wouldn’t feel the same. I mean, we have to work together, and we live in the same place, so if things didn’t work out… I just didn’t wanna risk it.”

      As he talked, she had started to pace. In stressful situations where she didn’t have to focus on pulling the trigger or if she wasn’t trying not to trip off a treadmill, Y/N paced. A lot. She was pretty sure there was a line in the living room floor where she had done her thinking before missions.

      “Wait, so you like me?” Y/N spun around and pointed at him. “Like really like me?”

      “Yeah,” Bucky chuckled as relief flooded his veins. He wouldn’t have smiled as wide as he did, had he not seen her lips quirk up. “Yeah, I really like you.”

      “And you don’t hate me?”

      “Not one bit.”

      Y/N stepped forward, head hanging low as she carefully grasped Bucky’s hand and intertwined their fingers, metal twining with flesh. “So, you like me?” she looked up at him, eyes intently watching his face. He squeezed her palm stepping closer as well, chest to chest at that point. He placed both of their hands right over his beating heart.

      “Yeah, I do... Happy New Year, Y/N,” Bucky muttered with a shy smile gracing his face.

      “What?” she had been so lost in his eyes that his words weren’t registering. His soft chuckle was like a melody designed by angels.

      “I said Happy New Year.”

      Y/N looked down to the worn watch on his right wrist and sure enough, the two hands were perfectly aligned to 12. A small chuckle escaped her mouth as she reconnected their gazes.

      “Happy New Year, Buck.”

      He was so close to her; she could smell the hot chocolate he had been drinking. Y/N closed her eyes, insides trembling as he leaned closer. But the kiss never came

      “I heard you in the shower.”

      “What!?”

      Bucky grabbed a spoon from the table and used it as a microphone, pointing at Y/N and wiggling his hips to the rhythm of the song. “’ Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell!’” She shoved him away from her and through a laugh threw her towel at him.

      “Ugh, I hate you!”

      “No, you don’t!” Bucky grabbed at her waist and pulled her to him. Together they plopped down on the couch, and Bucky didn’t hesitate to pull her in his lap, legs thrown over his and head resting against his shoulder. Y/N looked up at him, her hand leaning against his stomach as she drew gentle circles on the shirt clad torso.

      “Can I kiss you?”

      She chuckled and moved closer to Bucky. “Are you still going to make fun of me and my singing?”

      He looked like he was contemplating before he nodded, a wide smile on his face as he pressed his forehead against hers. “Yeah. Most definitely. For as long as you let me.”

      “And if I say forever?”

      She didn’t need to hear him say what was on his mind when the only thing that existed was Bucky’s smile. Y/N’s own lips widened, as he bent closer. The New Year and the new decade had begun quite a few minutes ago, but neither cared much because as their lips touched, a new chapter in their lives opened.

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Bucky tag list: @thunderous-flower @who-cares-rn​ @projectxhappiness​ @callmebucky-doll​ @coal000​ @killuaenthusiast @courtneychicken​ @sophiealiice​ @raquelbc2003​ @watch-out-for-thorns​ @potentially-kinetic​ @thatonegirljessy99​ @proxinge @bbkenna @buckysclub​ @ulired @fangirlofeverythingbasically @mrsalh32611​ @horrorx570ximagines​ @the-nargles-made-me-do-it​ @pooslie​ @itsisabelanotisabella @httpmcrvel​ @purplebananatragedy​ @pxrrishly​ @parker-barnes-af​ @skulliebythesea​ @california-grown​ @stevehesaidabadlanguageword​ @belongsto-prachi​ @hello-i-am-insane @its-nott-my-problem

Marvel tags: @nerissa98​ @happyseagrill​ @asguardiansoftheavengers​ @crazybutconfidentaf​ @wishingforahome​ @pizzarollpatrol​ @desir-ae​

Forever tags: @lumelgy​ @palaiasaurus64​ @supernaturalbaesduh​ @breezy1415​ @crazy--me​ @thatawkwardlittlefangirl​ @sea040561​ @staryeyedgirl​ @deathbyarabbit​ @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91​ @dalilx​ @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki​ @maladaptive-ninja-returns​ @averyrogers83​ @in-the-end-im-still-trash​ @gallifreyansass​ @dewy-biitch​ @avxgers​ @unlikelygalaxygiver​ @sweet-ladyy​ @magicwithaknife​ @ollyoxenfrees​ @bnhvrdy​ @tvwhoresblog @celebsimagines​ @thatkindofgurl​ @sj-thefan​ @teenwolflover28

A/N: Hi! so, quite a lot of things have happened. and the biggest thing is... I’m gonna be seeing MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE in JUNE!!! AAAHHHHH!!! I’ve been a fan of them since I was nine, and now I finally get the chance to see them perform live! I’ve never been so stressed in my life while trying to get tickets to something! I was in the middle of my 9 AM lecture and I was legit shaking. I fuffed about for like 3 seconds and those 3 seconds cost me the tickets... at first! and then it was like the emo gods were smiling down upon me, I saw there was another date added. I thought it was a glitch in the system because nothing was announced. so, obviously, I clicked off, only for my twitter notification to go off that they have announced they have added another date. I think it’s fair to say that I was barely functioning as I clicked furiously on my computer. And now I get the chance to see them... I am STOAKED!!!

[abbysfrenchbraid]

Hiya! Absolutely love your work! This feels super vague but could I request a short fic/headcanons of Abby giving her gf a piggyback please? The mental image makes me 🥺💕

what a cute idea, I got your message at like 10pm last night and just immediately started writing! Here you go, a short 1.5k fluff about the reader being clumsy at the WLF stadium and Abby coming to her rescue 💘

Warnings: light swearing, mention of violence (as always, message me for specific triggers and I’ll let you know if it’s safe to read)

Requests are open 

A blessing in disguise 

You could hear the hum of voices and the clatter of cutlery on plates from the hallway as you walked up to the swinging doors of the cafeteria. A look through the bull’s eye told you that the room was packed. No one would voluntarily miss baked potatoes with sour cream and steak, a real gourmet meal compared to the usual bean and sausage stews. 

Now you just had to make your way over to your friends without becoming the laughing stock of the base. So far only a few people knew of your idiocy and the damage it had done to your ankle, but if Owen and Jordan noticed your limp before you reached the table, the next days would be made even more painful by everyone’s cruel jokes. 

With a determined huff, you pushed against the door and clenched your teeth as you waved at some colleagues and hurried over to the loudest room in the table. Luckily for you, Owen and Jordan were having an intense discussion about the usage of melee weapons when fighting infected while Nora loudly commented on their arguments. Mel and Abby sat facing each other and grinned into their plates, obviously glad not to be included but entertained nonetheless. When Abby looked up and raised an eyebrow at your strange walking you just shook your head slightly and sat down next to her, finally able to relax your jaw. 

“Slipped. Don’t worry about it.” Abby stared at you for a second, then she shrugged and continued to dig into her potatoes. 

Owen had finally noticed your presence and instantly tried to pull you on his side. 

“Oh Y/N, great that you’re here. Wouldn’t you agree that a crowbar works much better for killing clickers than, say, a baseball bat? It’s lighter and slimmer and has that sharp end that just goes through heads like butter.”

You grimaced at him while Jordan and Nora started simultaneously arguing with him again and effectively banned you from the conversation before you could actually enter it. 

“Aren’t you gonna eat?” Mel had perfected that worried-mom look ever since she had given birth to her beautiful daughter and you immediately felt guilty. 

“No - I mean yes, I’m gonna get myself a plate in a minute. Truth is,” you made sure the others were still caught up in their argument, “I took a bad fall today and my ankle hurts like a bitch. I don’t want to limp around in front of the whole cafeteria and become the center of all the jokes for a week, the pain is bad enough as is.” 

Now Mel and Abby both looked at you with that face, that “you are our poor baby child and we can never let you out into the wild alone” expression that made you clench your hands into fists in your lap and stare at the tabletop in embarrassment. 

“Do you think it’s serious, Y/N? You wanna come to medical after lunch so I can take a look at it?”

“Yeah, Y/N, how did this happen? Are you sure you’re okay?” Abby asked.

You looked up defiantly and rose to your feet. “I’m not a child, I can take care of myself, thanks. Now if you’d excuse me, I’m getting some food before I eat Owen alive.”

Abby grabbed your wrist before you could step over the bench, getting up herself and putting an arm around your shoulders.

“I got it, babe. We’re only worried about you. Just sit down, I’ll be right back.”

Mel patted your hand and offered you some of her water after you sat down again. Both of you watched Abby go up right to the front of the food line and get a steaming hot plate for you. This was unusual for her, she always hated when people took advantage of their rank in order to get special treatment. She was back with a few long strides and slid the plate in front of you.

“For the lovely lady. If only she would tell us why she seems so pained on this beautiful day?” 

You shoved an elbow into her ribs but she only laughed and put a hand on your thigh, scooting closer and looking genuinely concerned now. It was apparent you had no other choice but to give in. 

“Fine. Leah asked me to help her move some stuff into her new room with Jordan. I was walking up the stairs carrying some boxes when I stumbled. One of the boxes dropped and polaroids spilled everywhere, mind you this is Leah we’re talking about.” Your two listeners exchanged a knowing look and Mel had to fight down a laugh. You ignored her. “Well, I panicked because I could hear people coming down the stairs and I didn’t want them to see, you know, Leah’s tits all over the floor, so I tried to collect them as fast as possible and accidentally slipped on one of the photos.”

Mel burst out laughing and you could see it took everything in Abby to not do the same. She just intensified her grip on your thigh and pressed her lips together, her chest convulsing from silent laughter. You finished your story with an irritated sigh. “So there I was, lying at the bottom of the stairs in the midst of at least 20 nude photos, trying not to scream because my ankle and hip were on fire just as this group of younger recruits came around the corner. They were nice enough to help me up and collect the pictures without a word but for all I know they’ve already told their team and by tomorrow everyone will know about me swimming in Leah’s tits.” 

You jammed your fork into the steak on your plate and began to hack away at it, eating as quickly as possible to escape this place and vanish from earth for the next year. Mel had calmed down and Abby finally released your thigh, placing her hand on the small of your back instead. Through your anger at yourself and embarrassment in front of the two other women you felt a rush of calm, warm energy at the blonde’s touch and took a deep breath. 

Mel swung her legs over the bench and grabbed her tray. “I gotta head back to medical. Will you come see me when you’re done here?”

“I’ll bring her,” Abby said before you could answer. She smiled at you. “Why walk when you have me to carry you?”

You rolled your eyes at her and went on eating while listening to the weapon experts at the table attacking each other. Nora had left with Mel so it was only the two men now, pointlessly arguing over the same thing over and over again until a fellow soldier at a different table yelled at them to shut up and just find out in training the next time. They had nothing to shoot back at that so they also got up to leave for training and said their goodbyes.

“Nice talking to you ladies, thanks for your input.” 

“Bite me, Owen,” you and Abby replied with one voice as they walked away, seemingly in a great mood after making the entire cafeteria listen to their bickering.

When you had finished your plate, Abby brought it to the return window and came back to you with a spring in her step. 

“Well then, princess.” She helped you up and turned around, beckoning for you to jump on her back and you happily obliged, letting out an involuntary squeal as the strong soldier beneath you lightly jumped to adjust your position and grabbed your legs. You wrapped your arms around her and pressed your head to the side of hers, ignoring the puzzled looks around you. 

Her smell was wonderful, pine and lavender creeping into your lungs and from there into every corner of your body, making you feel warm and at home. You could feel the muscles move underneath you, your weight seemingly nothing to the strong body carrying it. Abby kicked the swing doors open nonchalantly and carried you up the stairs and all the way to the medical tract without breaking a sweat.

She let you down gently at the door to Mel’s office. “I just need to grab some things from my room, I’ll pick you up here in 10 minutes. I don’t have any more tasks today so we can hang out at yours, you could read me some of the new stuff you wrote?”

This woman. You wrapped your arms around her again, this time from the front, and kissed her cheek. “You’re the best, Abby. Thank you so much.” She didn’t let go until you did, then she tapped her forehead in a playful salute and hurried off to her room.

You knocked at the door and Mel called you in, letting you lean on her to get to the camp bed. “All right, let’s take a look at this. It doesn’t look too bad, I think you got lucky.”

Her words made you think of the beautiful blonde wolf that would be keeping you company all afternoon. Yes, you really did get lucky. Maybe this injury wasn’t that bad after all. 

[c-nan]

17 for the prompt list thing 💗

Thank you for sending me a prompt!!

I am almost 200% sure this is the 17 you were talking about lmao

This turned out a lot more angsty than anticipated and this is my first time writing action so bear with me (it was great practice)

“You promised me a cookie.” 

“What?” Lena looked up from her laptop, surprised by the sudden appearance of Kara--no, not Kara, Supergirl--standing on her balcony, wringing her hands looking less than super.

Lena focused her attention back to her computer, trying to ignore the pain and resentment that ate away at her insides. She must keep her composure. Luthors show no pain. “I owe you nothing.”

Supergirl took a few tentative steps into Lena’s office. Lena closed her laptop and turned her chair towards her, crossing her arms.

“You said if I tried those,” Supergirl scrunched her face in disgust in the exact same way Kara did a few weeks ago, sending a shot of pain through Lena’s heart, “brussel sprouts, then you would give me a cookie.”

“I promised Kara Danvers,” Lena said with as much ice as she could muster. She turned her chair back to her laptop, setting her hands on the cover. “Besides, her and I had a falling out. Now, do you have a real reason to be here? I don’t have time for idle chit-chat, I have work to do.” In all honesty, Lena was just about to pack up and leave for the day, but if she had to stay another hour to prove her point, she knew she could find something to do.

“Lena, I-”

Lena spun her chair back around in annoyance. “You what?” Lena had a long day of meetings with less than compliant business men who seen her as no more than an incompetent woman. She did not have the mental energy to deal with whatever it was Supergirl had to say.

But Supergirl no longer had her attention on Lena, her eyes instead focused outside, eyebrows furrowed.

“Get behind me.”

“If you think-”

“Lena, now is not the time to argue. There’s something out there. You need to get behind me.” Supergirl took her eyes off of the balcony to look at Lena with pleading eyes. 

Lena bit her lip and glanced outside just in time to see a massive tentacle slither up the side of the wall. She quickly grabbed the gun she kept in her bottom drawer and took place behind Supergirl.

“What the hell is that?” Lena whispered as three more appeared.

“Not good,” Supergirl answered, raising a fist as the rest of the alien dragged itself fully over the balcony. Her other hand went to her ear. “Alex, Alien spotting at L-Corp. It's a big one.”

If not for the eight tentacles that protruded from various places on his body, Lena wouldn’t guess he was out of the ordinary, his face clean shaven and his hair sitting haphazardly atop his head. His mouth twisted in a crazy smile as his eyes flitted between Supergirl and Lena.

“Supergirl,” the alien spat. “Let's make this easier for both of us. Stand down.”

“You and I both know I won’t do that.”

The alien shrugged, each of his eight tentacles shifting upwards just a little. “Worth a try.” Without hesitation, all eight appendages rushed forward, shattering the glass that stood between Lena, Supergirl and the massive alien.

Supergirl managed to burn four with her heat vision, but there was only so much she could do with the flurry of limbs that filled the office. One of the remaining tentacles slammed into Supergirl’s side, sending her sailing across the room and through a wall, leaving Lena completely vulnerable.

Lena raised her gun, her palms sweaty and arms shaking. The alien, no matter how terrifying, had the eyes of a human and despite what many slander articles against her would say, she would never--could never--kill a human being.

Her hesitance nearly cost her her life. 

The gun clattered to the floor as the alien raised her from the ground, the tentacles unpleasantly slimy against her skin. He squeezed her like a boa constrictor squeezes a mouse right before eating it. “I can snap you like a twig, you know,” he said with a twisted smile. “But you’re wanted unscathed. That doesn’t mean I can’t have some fun.” He tightened his grip.

“Kara,” she rasped, her vision going black.

--

Ringing. An awful persistent ringing. Lena slowly opened her eyes to meet the sight of her office completely damaged; her couch flipped upside down and her desk where her door should be. 

A flash of light brought her attention to Supergirl head to head with the alien, her face set in a determined line. Lena could tell her endurance was waning by the slump of her shoulders and the harsh rise and fall of her chest. 

Her gun. She needed her gun. 

Lena spotted it half hidden behind the leg of her coffee table which had been shattered like her windows. Taking a deep breath, she tried to stand, but it was no use. Her knees buckled under her at the sheer pain that shot through her abdomen and back. She looked to Supergirl--to Kara--who was fighting for their lives and decided she needed to do this. She needed to push through the pain.

So she crawled. She crawled as her body begged her to stop. She crawled as her hands and knees were torn apart by the shards of glass that litter the floor. She crawled until she reached the gun just in time to see Kara get lifted up in the same fashion Lena was not minutes earlier.

Kara used her heat vision on as many tentacles as she could but there were too many. She cried out in pain as the alien squeezed at her midsection. 

Lena swung the gun around and pointed it at the alien. She had the advantage of surprise. He wouldn't have time to defend his human-like body with his tentacles.

This time without hesitation, Lena pulled the trigger, lodging a bullet in the aliens right leg. His grip slackened, releasing Kara, who hit the office floor with a thud. His knee buckled, nearly causing him to lose his footing. For extra measure, Lena shot the other leg, sending the alien sprawling to the floor with a cry of pain...or rage, Lena couldn’t tell.

Kara lied on the ground motionless, her cape draped over her like a blanket.

The alien shot Lena a look of pure hatred. “A couple bullets won’t stop me, Luthor.”

She raised her gun again, pointing this time at his heart. Or at least where his heart should be.

“Don’t try to play the hero,” he said, using two of his non-burnt tentacles to hoist him up in makeshift legs. “You and I both know you wont pull the trigger.”

Lena swallowed the lump in her throat, and glanced towards Kara. Her former friend who got roped into this mess trying to rekindle their friendship all  because Lena was too hard-headed to forgive her. 

Narrowing her eyes, she gripped her gun more tightly. “I promised her a cookie, and she will get one.”

“Wha-?”

Two shots in the chest sent him on his back, his face forever frozen in a look of shock and confusion. 

“Secure him, I’ll check on Lena,” Alex said stepping around the desk that blocked the doorway. Behind her, half a dozen DEO agents filed in, guns raised and pointed towards the alien. 

Lena dropped her arms, watching in shock as Alex knelt in front of her, saying something.

“What?”

“I asked if you were alright.”

“I-yes-Kara-”

“Kara will be fine, are you hurt?” 

“My stomach…” was all Lena could say before passing out once again.

---

Lena awoke to the sound of beeping and one thought.

Kara.

Her eyes flew open as she searched for any sight of the alien that attacked them. She then noticed that she no longer stood in her office. She was at...the DEO? She scanned her surroundings more thoroughly, spotting beds like the one she lied on and unused monitors like the one that beeped loudly in her ear.

She thought back to what she remembered last.

The alien picking up Kara.

Her shooting the alien's legs.

The alien towering over her.

The alien falling even though she didn’t shoot him…

“Alex!” Lena called sitting up and immediately regretting it as pain surrounded her abdomen, nearly causing her to black out again. 

“Lena, what are you doing?” Alex rushed into the room, checking the monitor before giving Lena a reprimanding look. 

“Is Kara…?” Lena thought back to the sight of her lying on the ground. She couldn't be…

“She’s fine and you will be too if you don’t try to sit up anymore.” Alex took one more look at the monitor, and went to head out. 

“Can I see her?” Lena called at her retreating form.

Alex turned, her lips pressed together in a straight line. “She doesn’t need the stress of another fight,” she said with a bit of a bite. “She overexerted herself trying to save you.” 

Lena looked down to her hands, fiddling with the blanket. Alex had every right to be angry with her. She had said terrible things to Kara in the past few weeks. Things she wished she could take back but can’t. It would probably be best if she just-

“Alex?” Kara’s voice floated through the med-bay doors and not soon after Kara appeared, still donned in her Supergirl apparel.

Lena’s shoulders sag in relief at the sight of Kara who looked much better than the images her mind imagined. 

Kara rushed to her side, looking at Alex. “I thought you said she was alright?!”

“She is.”

“Tell that to all these cuts,” Kara said, examining Lena’s arms and hands, “and that big bandage around her waist!”

“Kara,” Lena said.

“Alex, have you gotten her an CAT Scan? She could be bleeding internally!”

“Kara.”

“And what about this big gash on her forehead? Does it need stitches?!”

“Kara!” Lena yelled, finally getting Kara’s attention. Looking into Kara’s worried eyes, Lena smiled. “I’ll be fine, I can barely feel it.”

“But-”

“I’m fine.”

“Oh thank Rao,” Kara breathed, wrapping Lena up in a fierce hug that did nothing to ease the pain in her abdomen. 

“Easy Kara,” Alex warned, looking to Lena with a look that basically said ‘if you hurt my sister, I’ll hurt you.’

Kara pulled back with a sheepish smile. “No hugs. Noted.”

“I wouldn’t completely write out hugs. Just make sure they're not so...intense,” Lena said with a small smile, feeling some of the familiarity they had before their fight. “Now, about that cookie…”

Kara’s face broke into a radiant smile and for the first time in a while, Lena felt hope that maybe, just maybe, her and Kara could rekindle their friendship. It would take time to heal and many apologies, but Lena had hope. 

[need-a-fugue]

We Grow Together (32)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Tessa Sullivan (OFC)

Chapter Summary: The aftermath...

Summary: Relationships can be tough, especially when one person is a recovering-from-being-brainwashed-and-tortured former assassin and the other is an overworked mutant scientist. But hey, every couple has their struggles. Right?

Warnings: All the angst! Also... talk of drowning, hospitals, and death.

The whole thing just kept playing over and over and over again in his head. Every detail. Every wrong call. The far-off tailing. The lack of air support. Him telling her to comply with Lobe’s driver and get into the trunk. Him telling Bucky to take the shot.

He didn’t expect that the car would go into the river. It should’ve skidded to a stop long before that, should’ve veered off into the fields that lay between the town and the bridge. But it didn’t. And he can’t get the image of it careening off the bridge and slamming into the water below out of his head.

She didn’t answer at first, but once she did, the relief was short-lived. Her voice was small and scared, unlike he’d ever heard it before. I can’t get out. Steve, I can’t… trailing off as the water began shorting out her earpiece.

But we got her out… That’s what he keeps telling himself, reminding himself. In response to all of the other terrible thoughts and images going through his mind… We got her out.

“Hey.” He looks up from his twisted hands and sees Bucky standing before him, just as soaking wet as the rest of them, just as drawn and tired looking.

“How is she?” he asks with a start, standing up so fast that he almost knocks his friend over.

Bucky places a hand on his shoulder to steady him and he nods. “She’s alright. I mean… they want to keep her overnight. And they’re worried about her lungs… how the water affected them.” He gives Steve a small, sad smile. “Natasha’s with her. She told me to go get some air. You wanna come?”

Steve just nods and pats the man on the back as they head for the doors out of the emergency room. There are a few benches along the walkway that extends out to the main parking lot. They’re along a quiet grassy corridor, surrounded by trees, and Steve can’t help but think how almost cruel it is to offer such a lovely space for people who are undoubtably in the midst of one of the worst days of their lives.

Bucky doesn’t seem to notice the flowering redbuds or the lush green grass, or even the crickets beginning to chirp as the sun sets to their left. He simply drops down onto a bench in an exhausted heap, his head falling into his hands.

Steve stares at him for a long moment before quietly taking a seat next to him. “Sam said he flew the Redwing over the island. Said he couldn’t see a damn thing.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Nat and I’ll go out once it’s dark and see what we can find, but…” He trails off, glancing over at Bucky once more. He hasn’t moved an inch. “Never found the other guy,” he mutters, referring to the passenger in the car.

“I don’t really care,” Bucky mumbles into his hands.

Steve pulls in a nervous, shaky breath. “The doctors…” he starts, then shakes his head. “She’s okay, right?”

He sits upright finally, leans back and drops his hands as he takes a deep breath and squints against the setting sun. “Yeah,” he breathes out. “Yeah, I think so. Her um… pulse ox? It’s a measure of how much oxygen she’s getting. It’s low. But they said that’s normal, considering. Somebody going without oxygen that long, they’d be most worried about brain damage. But she’s with it and talking… And puking… guess she swallowed a lot of water too.” He nods, definitively. “Yeah, I think she’s okay.”

“I broke her rib,” Steve says softly, his eyes cast down as he remembers the sickening pop, feels her chest cave under his hands.

“Two, actually.”

He looks up and sees Bucky offer him another sad, conciliatory smile. “Jesus,” he mutters, still wringing his hands. “Buck, I’m… I’m so sorry.”

“For what? Doing CPR?” He snorts. “You saved her life.”

“No,” he says with a sigh. “Clint did.”

It’s true, Clint was the one who stepped in after Natasha’s alarmed shout of Steve! She too had heard Tessa’s ribs crack beneath his hands. And Clint was there in an instant, calmly pushing him aside and taking over compressions, softly repeating, “You’ve got this. C’mon, Doc. You can do this,” until murky river water poured from her mouth in violent gasps and chokes and heaves.

“You got her out of that car,” Bucky tells him simply.

“I’m the reason she was in that car.”

There’s a slight sound of wood cracking and Steve looks down to find Bucky’s metal hand too-tightly gripping the edge of the bench. “She was there because she was too damn stubborn to say no,” he says, his lips pressed together in a firm line. He shakes his head solemnly. “We all fucked up.”

“It was my mission. I set it up. I called the shots. I was running point.” Part of him hopes that Bucky will interrupt to tell him that he’s not to blame. But the larger part knows that even if he did, it would just be one friend trying to comfort another. The truth is the truth. He’s responsible for his men (and women) when they’re in the field. It’s that simple. And Sergeant Barnes would know that truth better than anyone. “The only man I ever lost in a op was you,” he says after a long, quiet moment.

Bucky turns to look at him, but Steve doesn’t – can’t – make eye contact. “You didn’t lose me. Not forever. And we didn’t lose Tessa either.”

He leans back into the bench and stretches his hands out. His fingers are aching from mangling them for the last who knows how long… but it was all he could do to keep from feeling the metal of the car slipping under his fingertips as he fought to open the trunk, or the feel of Tessa’s chest not rising as he pulled her to the shore and began CPR. “If she didn’t make it…” He stares off into the horizon, still unable to look at Bucky. “I would never forgive myself. You’d never forgive me.”

Bucky unclenches his fist from the bench and places an open palm gently on Steve’s knee. “If she hadn’t of made it, I wouldn’t have made it either.”

The words make Steve’s heart still suddenly in his chest. Of course Bucky would feel that way. He knew how much he loved her. And he knew his friend well enough to know that he’s not the kind of guy who would just get over losing her, maybe ever. But hearing him actually voice that truth still catches him off guard. Not because it’s unexpected to hear or because it plants another unsettling what if in Steve’s mind. It’s just because he honestly hadn’t thought once about Bucky today. Not as they left the compound this morning mentally prepping for the mission. Not once things were underway and he was making the – in hindsight, questionable – calls he’d made, including ordering Bucky to take out the car that Tessa was in. Not even when he saw Bucky’s hands suddenly appear on the car underwater, gripping and bending and pulling along with his own to tear the trunk open. Not once had he thought about how hard all of this must be for him.

He was on the comms, he heard Tessa crying for help. Hell, the last thing she said, in a strangled, slurred cry before her device crackled into oblivion, was Jamie. But Steve was so caught up in his own failure and his own regret that he hadn’t even thought about his friend’s pain.

When he finally does look over at him, he sees tears filling Bucky’s eyes. He’s staring off at the sunset, so he doesn’t notice the intense look his friend is giving him. The moment the tears start to spill over, he almost violently swipes them away before turning his head to look at Steve. “Bucky…” is all Steve can muster.

But it’s enough. “Yeah,” he says in response before hauling himself up off the bench. “I should get back in there.”

The corner of Steve’s mouth quirks up a bit as he hears the water in his friend’s shoes squish. “You should change clothes,” he says as he follows him back inside. “You’ll catch pneumonia.”

“You sound like your mom.”

“Well, she wasn’t wrong. I had pneumonia twice.”

“Maybe you’re the one who should change, then.”

As soon as they approach the waiting room, Clint is on them with a report. “Sam’s got your weapon,” he tells Bucky – he, of course, had left the rifle behind as he ran headlong down the embankment to get to the river. “And Tony’s talking to the local authorities now.”

“He’s on his way back?” Steve asks.

Clint nods. “And he is pissed.”

Bucky pats the archer on the shoulder as he moves past him and ducks into Tessa’s cubicle. “Can’t say I blame him,” he says, disappearing through the glass doors.

Steve stares at Tessa through the doors, frozen to his spot. She’s curled in on herself, obviously in pain as she fights through a coughing fit. Natasha is rubbing her back soothingly, smiling lightly as she talks to her friend. When Bucky enters, Tessa straightens a bit, stifling the coughs, and reaches out for him.

“She’s gonna be okay,” Clint tells him. “They’ll keep her overnight and first thing in the morning she’ll be bitching out the staff so much, they’ll kick her to the curb.”

“There won’t be any… lasting effects?” he asks, keeping his gaze on the people in the room in front of him.

Clint shrugs. “They’re giving her a bunch of antibiotics. Actually, we all should get in on that.” Steve finally turns to him and gives him a confused look. “That river was nasty. Those of us without super soldier immunity are probably gonna be shitting our brains out for a week.”

The comment earns a small chuckle from Steve as he says, “Guess you guys should get some penicillin, then.”

000

Natasha and Clint both go with Steve that night to check out the island. Bucky doesn’t even think to offer to go out there with them. There’s a part of him that wants nothing more than to find that facility and burn it to the ground… find Lobe and every miserable motherfucker who works for him, and put a bullet in each of their brains. No, actually, they’re not worth the price of a bullet. He’d just tear them apart, one by one.

But as much as he’d like to live out that bitter fantasy, there’s absolutely no possible way that he could leave Tessa’s side. Not now. Not ever.

Sam showed up at the hospital just after sunset with a change of clothes for everyone. Dry tactical gear for Natasha, Clint, and Steve. Civilian clothes for Bucky and Tessa. So he must’ve guessed already that Bucky wasn’t going anywhere. Or maybe Steve had made the decision for him. He didn’t ask. He didn’t care. He just took a ten minute break while the Falcon sat with his girl, making lame jokes about underwater treasure, and went and changed and grabbed a cheap coffee from a vending machine down the hall.

Aside from his chat with Steve earlier, that’s the longest he’s away from her the entire night.

“How are you feeling?” he asks her once everyone clears out, leaving just the two of them in the quiet little hospital room.

She looks down at her hand tightly folded up in his and frowns deeply, but says nothing. Instead she curls into a tighter ball, scoots nearer the edge of the bed where he sits.

“Still cold?” he asks, dropping her hand just long enough to pull the blanket up over her shoulders. He tucks it in around her neck and slowly moves his fingers up to sweep at her hair and tuck the loose waves behind her ear.

She looks up at him, an unreadable expression on her face. In a near-whisper, she says to him, “I died.”

He keeps his eyes locked onto hers as he gives a small nod. “But you came back,” he says, taking her hand in his once more. Her brow furrows. “You’re gonna be fine,” he tells her, leaning in and laying a kiss on her forehead. She nods, but the concerned frown remains. He moves his metal hand up to cup her face, and he begins tracing soft lines along her forehead with the pad of his thumb, as though trying to smooth out her wrinkled brow. She closes her eyes and nuzzles into the cool metal, craving it but also shivering against the cold.

When he feels her shiver, his thumb stills and he makes a move to pull his hand away. But she reaches up with her free hand and takes hold of his wrist, opens her eyes and stares him down as she says, “No.”

So he continues sweeping along her brow. “What’s wrong, baby?” he asks gently, as her frown grows deeper. She shakes her head a bit as if to say nothing and turns her face to bury it into the pillow. “Are you in pain?” he asks, even though he knows that they just gave her some Demerol less than an hour ago. Again, she gives a slight shake of the head. He pulls in a deep breath. “Are you worried about… about the mission? About Lobe?”

She turns her face out just enough to be able to speak without the pillow swallowing her words. “He knows who I am.”

Bucky raises his eyebrows and says, with a fierce determination, “He’s never going to get you. I’ll never let that happen.”

She’s silent for a long moment, just staring deeply into his steadfast eyes. “Supernova…” she starts slowly. “She was… very dangerous. He can’t have her. Not ever.”

He nods firmly. “Not ever.”

She closes her eyes again and parts her lips to let out a small, pained cough. “I don’t want to die again,” she says, her face twisting as she reaches down and grips his right hand with both of hers, holding on so, so tight.

He gets up from the chair by her bed leans over her. “Scoot,” he says simply. Without opening her eyes, without letting go of his hand or uncurling her body, she shifts back several inches. He climbs in bed beside her, taking care not to jostle her or to even pull the blanket down from around her shoulders. Slowly, he slides his metal arm beneath her neck and settles in around her. She releases his hand and instead grabs onto his shirt, fisting the material in her hands as she sidles closer and buries her face into his side.

He doesn’t say anything to her as she holds onto him for dear life. He doesn’t say that he’ll never let anything like this happen to her ever again. He doesn’t say that she won’t ever die again. No matter how much he want to. Because today, she did die. Today, he twisted apart metal and pulled her lifeless body into his hands. Today, he stood, dripping wet on the shore of some murky river, staring ahead at nothing as his entire world, all that he’s known, crumbled around him – just as it had years ago when he stood beside Steve after pulling him from that murky river in DC.

He won’t lie to her. He loves her too much to do that. So instead he drapes his right arm around her, his hand splaying protectively over her lower back. And he presses her gently into him. He may not be able to keep her safe forever. But he can keep her close for now.

Eventually, he feels Tessa’s breathing steady and deepen as she gives into sleep. But Bucky doesn’t get any rest at all that night. Not even once Steve calls him to let him know that they’re all out and safe. And the moment he hears that they found next to nothing on the island – the entire facility having been abandoned and the computer systems wiped clean – he’s not sure if he’ll ever really be able to sleep again.

[austarus]

Nash Wells x Reader The Beguilement of Barry Allen

**A/N: The picture/edit/gif does not belong to me. It belongs to @moonymartell​

*Yes, I’ve finally gotten around to writing for Nash. Ya’ll are really in for a treat~ Back to studying for my Medical School Admissions exam. Wish me luck

Word Count: 3870

“Ah!” Nash yelped, recoiling from your touch.

“Sorry,” You cringed at his wincing, placing the H2O2-soaked cotton ball back on the cuts on the side of his face. Ragdoll really did a number on the geological explorer earlier that night. You proceeded with patching Nash up with the first aid kit that you kept at home. Sanitizing the cuts on his arm, you made sure to roll up his sleeves to remain comfortably around his elbow. “I told you it would sting.” I mean, hydrogen peroxide is a powerful liquid formula to eradicate bacteria on cuts and wounds. The pain just means that it’s working.

“Anything from Barry on Joe?”

“No, last I heard was that Joe was transport safely out of the city.”

Nash ran a hand through his brown hair, his body aching with every movement. You handed him some pain medication and a bottle of water to help alleviate the pain reverberating throughout his body. “Good, I’m just happy that- that contortionist meta’s put away. I don’t know what I would have done if I knew he got away.” You knew what he was referring to.

“Tonight, you did your best- protecting her from Ragdoll.”

“He still ended up getting to Allegra, knocked her out and everything. If only-”

“Nash,” You cupped his face gingerly to get him to fully look at you. He stopped rambling at the softness in your voice, “that mind of yours can go on for years on the ‘what if’s’ of every situation with Allegra and her safety, but the results will end up being the same.”

“Did… Did I not do enough?”

A heartbroken look crossed through his blue eyes as he lowered his face slightly in your gentle grasp. His sullen expression crushed your heart, but you stood strong. For him. “No, Nash. You did everything in your power. Allegra… She just needs to recognize that she can’t just judge or be angry at you without understanding your reasoning on why you kept her doppelganger a secret.”

“I-I want to explain everything to her, but she-”

“I know. You just… need to give her some more time, I guess. As frustrating as that sounds. Patience just seems to be the key now. Allegra will have to look at this like an adult.” Rather than acting out every time he tried to interact with her. Honestly, it frustrates me.

“Not gonna stop?”

“Never.”

“You Wells men and your stubborn attitude.” You started putting the equipment of the first aid kit away, mentally noting that you’d have to bandage him right before bed as to not waste supplies. “Have you asked Harry?”

“For what? About Allegra?”

“Yeah? Has he not told you about Jesse?”

“I don’t- really like hanging around Harry too much… in my mind. If anything, it’s a miracle if I can get some peace and quiet. They’re all so rowdy.”

You giggled at his quieting voice with each statement he made. “Jesse was Earth-2’s own Flash. Incredibly bright and determined like her father, but so high-spirited. She was truly a force to be reckoned with, especially with all of us with her.” You sighed, retracting your hand as you spoke about the young speedster. Nash gingerly held your hand, knowing that you were close with the two Earth-2 beings. “Harry’s a father too. You never know when his advice can actually swing things around for your approach to handling Allegra.”

“I know she’s not Maya. Allegra’s her own person, but… I can’t help but feel the need to protect her. I wasn’t able to protect Maya, even after all those years of taking her in and keeping her around.”

“This is your penance for Maya?”

Nash nodded, you gave him a sympathetic smile as he answered you, “I can work through the fact that Allegra can hate me, but I will never be able to live it down if I let anything happen to her.” His blue eyes seemed to pierce right through you, rubbing his thumb over the patch of skin on the back of your hand. “Or you.” Your breath hitched a bit.

“Don’t worry you about me. I can handle myself just fine.” You grinned with twinkling eyes and rouge cheeks. “Besides, a charming adventurer gave me one of these in case I needed to make a hasty escape.” You pulled out the smoke bomb he had given you. Nash smiled proudly to himself that you opted to keep what he had given you.

“I should teach you how to make them, it’s fairly easy.”

“Maybe when we don’t have a secret organization backed by one of the biggest and richest labs in the city trying to kill us. Then you can teach me whatever you want.”

You pecked his lips causing the brown-haired man to cheekily smile down at you. “As long as I get more of those, precious.”

“Deal.” You stood up and stretched out both hands to the taller man, curling your fingers to him. Nash took your hands and allowed you to pull him up, towering over you. You tilted our head to the direction of your bedroom. “Now let’s go get ready for bed. I think a shower and beauty sleep is long overdue.”

“Babe, you shower every night though.” Nash quirked a confused eyebrow at you.

“I know. Want to shower with me?”

“No,” the Wells doppelganger deadpanned. Never again. “You turn up the water all the way and it made me feel like I was swimming in one of the deep, rocky pockets of lava within the pits of Hell. I thought my skin was going to melt off my body.”

You blinked at Nash as the both of you entered your bedroom. “I’m not even going to ask why you know and vividly described the environment in Hell. Anyway, I get really cold and the heat helps with it.”

“How do you not feel like you’re getting suffocated from the steam?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know, the heat just feels really nice on my skin.” You pointed to the bathroom connected to your bedroom. “Why don’t you shower first?” You normally take quick showers anyway.

“With pleasure,” Nash padded towards the drawers that kept some spare clothes he leaves at your place when he plans to sleep over. You flopped onto your bed, mentally pulling out your change of clothes while he had entered the bathroom for his shower. The days that Nash doesn’t stay the night usually ends up with you cuddling up to a pillow in bed while wearing his shirts or long-sleeves. Goodness, you love the way his cologne and earthy musk mixed together to cling on his clothes. Nash, of course, knew of your secret guilty pleasure, but makes no complaint of it.

You blinked your eyes languidly a few times, the sounds of rushing water soothing you. One thing you noticed was that Nash doesn’t really wear any suits or dress shirts, a stark contrast to the other Wells doppelgangers you’d met. Curiosity fluttered around within you as you attempted to conjure up an image of him in a suit tailored to his own tastes. Nah, that won’t work either. Maybe formal wear just isn’t for him? I mean, I’ve yet to actually see him in casual wear either. Getting bored, you started flipping through your phone before settling on Netflix. You knew you shouldn’t be starting a new series with Nash over, but damn were you tempted to start ‘The Umbrella Academy’. And that’s exactly what you did while Nash showered.

In less than 10 minutes, Nash had finished up. Upon exiting the misty bathroom, he found you laying on your bed with your legs kicking in the air as your upper body inclined on a pillow with your phone propped up on another. Hair mused up messily than it had been all night. A soft smile plastered itself onto his face as he dried his hair. The taller man could only guess that you gave into Cisco and Barry’s whining on starting a new TV series. Tapping on your screen, you paused the pilot episode. You turned your head when you noticed his figure step into the room from your peripheral. Cheeks automatically heating seeing him adorn a fitting short-sleeve shirt that wonderfully showed off his biceps and pajama pants.

“Like what you see, precious?” He called in a low voice, intentionally doing a little arm flex as he continued to dry his hair. Nash knew you had a thing for his muscled arms… And literally everything else about him.

“A dork in his pajama’s? Yeah, I guess the view’s alright.” You teased him, earning a playful scowl.

“You wound me.” You just smiled cheekily at him, heading to take up the rest of the hot water for the night. Bumping into him on purpose before silently indicated you wanted a kiss, Nash leaned down and kissed your forehead. Before entering for your shower, you had already instructed your boyfriend to apply a bacterial ointment along with bandaging himself up. To which the brown-haired man pouted, wanting to watch you do that for him instead. What a dork. Smiling happily, you shut the door behind you with a content sigh. You started up Spotify, the song Diamonds by Megan The Stallion and Normani played before stepping in under the hot water. “I’m super shero bitch, don’t try me hoe-” You hummed heatedly in the shower, escaping into a music video of your own. Nash snickered to himself as he heard you sing through the thin walls.

***

Padding out of your heated shower, heart appeased with the intense temperature of your shower. You had a towel turban on your head and another one wrapped around your body like a dress. Your eyes spotted Nash, his eyes moving back and forth between two areas in your room before he let out a rough sigh and shut his eyes tiredly. “Nash?”

“Hm?” The blue-eyed man cracked his eyes open and tilted his head towards you as you stood by the door-frame.

“Where you with the boys? Do I need to-” You gestured to yourself.

“They just left to respect your privacy,” I, however, will not look away.

“Oh, okay.” You shrugged, stepping over to the other side of the bedroom as you slowly shed off the towel. Nash’s eyes followed you, eyes darkening a bit and a wily smile on his face. You knew he was watching you. Nash did every time, so you decided to give him a bit of a show. Swaying your hips as you started to lowly hum a song that came to mind, bending over when you needed to get something before fully getting dressed in your sunflower-printed pajama shorts and shirt set. Turning around, you gave him a seductive wink before re-entering the bathroom to commence with your skin-care routine.

“You know,” Nash spoke up as he stood and strode up beside you. He crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame. “I still think you’re a beauty without all those skin-care products, right?” He pointed to the corner of the skin filled with dermatologist approved products.

“As flattering as that is, you won’t be thinking that when you see me with dry and cracked skin all over my face like a dried-up zombie from those old movies.”

“Bet.”

“I’m not taking that bet.” You frowned, shaking the bottle before pausing. Then you shook it more vigorously. Nash inwardly laughed at your frustration to get what seemed to be the last remnants of the skin care solution.

“Do you need me to go get you that hydrating cleanser tomorrow?”

“Yeah… I think I’m out.”

Nash snickered before pulling you to bed with him after the two of you washed up for bed. You beamed up at the geological myth-buster when he had followed your instructions to bandage himself up. Your eyes caught Nash staring, going off into his mind and wandering thoughts.

“Nash.”

“Hm.”

“You’re thinking about it again.”

“I-I can’t help it. I…” He trailed off. “I should have been better. Done more. For her and Maya.”

You ran a hand through your damp hair before pushing him onto his back and straddling his hips to fully draw his attention away from his thoughts momentarily. His blue eyes widened slightly as his hands gently grasped your hips. “What do I need to do to make you think that you’re enough? That what you’ve done is enough?”

“I can think of a few things currently.”

“…You’re an idiot.”

“That I am not.”

“Yup, you are,” you tapped his nose before cupping his face and giving him a couple of sweet kisses. The Wells doppelganger hummed cheerily against your lips. “What’s done is done. We can only look to the next day and focus on how to better ourselves. It’s just a hard lesson we all need to learn.”

“Speaking of hard-”

“-Let me finish, then we can continue what we started earlier.” By earlier, you meant this morning. You glanced over at the clock. You meant yesterday morning. You had gotten the smart- and by smart, you mean dumb- idea to sleep over at the labs with him. That morning the two of you were… feeling particularly frisky with one another. Bottom line, the two of you almost ended up almost getting caught thanks to Nash biting down a particular sensitive spot on your neck while thrusting himself in. The both of you had to stop when your phone went off which caused you to push Nash off you and accidentally off the bed while you attempted to silence your phone. They can never know, or they’d hold it over my head forever. Especially Iris and Cisco. “Living in the past won’t do you any good, ok?” Nash reluctantly nodded, bringing one of your hands up to kiss.

I’ll try to be good. To be better. For Maya, Allegra, and You. My precious gem. Nash sighed through his nose as you saw raw emotion take over, darkening those baby blue eyes with a certain haziness. “Now can we bang?” The blood rushed to your cheeks at his imminent question before nodding subtly at your horny boyfriend. Well, I mean I’m pretty horny too. Especially since we both never got to finish and today just happened to become the longest day ever. A wide, mischievous grin laced itself onto his face as he pulled you down for more than a couple of kisses.

***

Vrr, vrrrr

Who the fuck needs me up this late? You scrunched your nose grumpily, shutting your eyes even tighter until your mind registered the sounds from your phone. Laying on your stomach, your leg was hooked over a fluffy pillow while your arm was under the pillow beneath your head. “Mmm,” you groaned in annoyance at the noise, haphazardly reaching for your phone from on the bedside counter and cracking an eye open at the sudden brightness of the screen. The phone revealed Barry’s number and goofy pic on the caller ID that you had set. You blinked a few times before swiping on the screen. Um?

“Barry?” You croaked, wincing at the hoarseness of you voice from… earlier activities with your boyfriend. You were greeted by a somber-toned voice, one that didn’t match the happy-go-lucky speedster’s persona.

“(Y/N), C-can you open the door? Please.”

“Yeah, give me one second.”

You heard his soft sniffling as you ended the line, you brain kicking into overdrive as you tripped in the dark to find something to put on. You ignored the echoing dull ache of your body as you moved. Luckily in the dim light that your phone had provided you were able to find Nash’s shirt.

“Hm, what’s wrong?” Nash groaned, waking from the movement and noise before turning to lay on his back. He rose his head to look at you as you got dressed, blinking a few times to fight back the haziness of sleep.

“I don’t know but stay put.” You padded over to leave your room, closing it behind you. Please go back to sleep. You had to make sure Barry didn’t find any trace of the myth-busting explorer.

You hurriedly went to unlock your front door and opened it. What you saw broke your heart. Barry, your closest friend, in tears and puffy, red eyes. “Oh my god, what’s wrong?” You pulled the Scarlet Speedster into your humble abode as you turned on the lights. Locking the door, you brought him into your living room area.

“Did I come at a bad time?” 

“No, of course not. I’m here whenever you need me.”

“Are you sure? You look...” Barry trailed off, subtly gesturing to you causing you to look down. Your cheeks flushed at the amount of marks visibly littering your body.

“D-don’t worry about that”

Barry awkwardly nodded. “It’s Iris, she-”

“Babe, who was at the door?” Nash yawned as he ran a hand through his brown locks, walking in sleepily and shirtless before freezing in his spot. You froze at the voice. The taller man blinked a few times, his mind starting to work now. Your eyes widened as the two men made eye contact. You were screaming internally at the awkwardness that had filled the air between the three of you. “Hi,” Nash did a subtle wave.

“Wells?”

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit~ “I can explain-” You started. Oh my god, I want to crawl in a hole and die. The thing is, with everything going on you and Nash decided to stay a secret because it’s really irrelevant with the Carver situation and Barry trying to deal with his lack of speed.

“You and Nash? What? When? How long??” The speedster was mind-blown, giving you an incredulous and stunned look. “Why didn’t either of you say anything? How did I even miss this?”

To be fair, you are pretty oblivious at times Barr. “Barry, focus. Iris first.” You stopped the speedster in his tracks before he rambled on a series of other questions. Turning around, you pointed at Nash with a finger and frown. “And you, we are so going to have a talk later.”

“I welcome it.” Nash grinned cheekily and took a seat next, watching you face-palm in response.

This smooth fucker. “Of course you do-

“-Ew-” Barry cringed at the two of you.

“Ignore him. Anyway- Barry, what happened?”

Barry went on to explain what happened that night. How he did his best to protect Joe and Cecile. How Iris had went off at him for not doing enough for Joe. About his powers and Carver. That he wasn’t there to protect her. How her words had carved a hole in his heart as she kicked him out of their home. “I’m barely hanging on with my powers. She- She said I wasn’t her home anymore. But… that’s the abnormality. Iris- We’d work through it. We’d try to talk it over. She- she wouldn’t do that to me.”

“I’m sorry Barr,” You patted his shoulder as he was seated beside you. You shook your head, mind mulling over everything he had just told you. You were essentially Barry’s confidant when it came to things like this from Iris because he knew he needed another person’s point of view so he wouldn’t be jumping head into anything and risk screwing things up even more. “I fucking knew something was off.”

“What do you mean?” Nash questioned beside you.

“The odd behavior towards you, starring off into space at oddly random times, encouraging you,” you gestured to Barry, “to do things you’d normally never do, the cooking all of a sudden-”

“-Thank you!-”

“-Barry, that’s not your wife. I don’t know who or what that is or why they’re doing this. But that’s not your Iris, Barr.”

“I don’t- I don’t know what to do. What am I going to say to the others? How do I act? Where do I go from here? How am I going to protect the others if I can’t even see the anomaly in front of me? I mean, what if she intentionally sabotages our work to stopping Carver.” Barry started rambling again, his speed gauge watch starting to blink.

“Barry-” You tried to stop his train of thought.

“How did I miss the signs? I was living with an imposter for God knows how long. How am I so gullible?”

“Barry, Nash finally called out. The speedster looked up at him and pursed his lips from his rapid-fire free fall of worrisome thoughts and guilt. “Slow down. Take a deep breath and calm down.”

“Tonight, you need to need to rest. This took a lot out of you, and your anxiety is fueling your speed to be use up.” His speed gauge watch was blinking an orange-scarlet color. “I have a spare bed in the guestroom, you can spend the night here and the three of us can brainstorm. How does that sound?”

Barry nodded at your words, avoiding your eyes as he wrung his fingers together in anticipation.

Nash spoke up, “Allen, I have some clothes you can-”

“Ah-I-I’m good. I’ll just sleep in these and get some clothes from Joe’s tomorrow morning.” You watched with a look and raised eyebrow as Barry walked into a random direction of your home before coming back to where you and Nash were seated. Smooth, Flash. A sheepish look was on the speedster’s face. “Where’s your guest room?”

“Down the hall to the left.”

“Right.”

Once you both heard the door shut Nash leaned in close to whisper in your ear, “It’s a good thing we decided not to keep our nightly activities an all-night this time. Love the new look, who’d you steal it from?” His veiny, but prominent hand had reached over you, lightly trailing the tips of his fingers on your hip under his shirt.

You lightly hit his shoulder, as he snickered at you, “I told you to stay put.”

“I didn’t hear you,” Nash pouted slightly before smirking, “And it’s not like he wasn’t going to find out. My bag is sitting right there by the couch. I mean I’m not much of an artist, but-” The Wells doppelganger trailed a hand over the love-bites on your neck, causing you to shiver. “Even I know that those hickeys were painted beautifully on your skin.”

“And I returned that favor two-fold.” You gingerly grasped his strong jaw with an innocent look on your face. “How’s your back by the way?” You asked him tauntingly.

But Nash didn’t back down, instead his grin widened as he turned his head to kiss the inside of your palm. “Deliciously aching from a precious kitty’s claws. How are those bruises on your hips?”

“Oh hush, you!” Your cheeks burned as the memories of earlier resurfaced. Nash chuckled at you, wrapping his strong arms around you before picking you up and heading back to the bedroom. The multi-versal explorer placed a sweet kiss on top of your head with that smug-ass grin on his face. “Let’s just hope, he doesn’t decide to tell anyone tomorrow,” you muttered to your boyfriend, already secretly dreading what the day will bring.

[daisyjohnsonsblog]

Episode 9: A Detailed Look and Evaluation

Time to completely deconstruct this episode!! This is gonna be a long one so strap yourself right in and prepare for a DIVE into the mind-blowing goodness that is episode 9. 

Plot and Structure (with a Side of Daisy/Coulson)

OKAY I'm just gonna preface this with the fact that I think that Drew Greenberg did a great job with this episode. In terms of how it fits with the overall season arc, I can see that it’s more of a stand-alone episode, but it’s nonetheless really crucial in building all the characters, especially Daisy and Coulson (but more of that later, like a LOT more). 

let’s start with the main idea. everything is repeating, but going closer to a possible destruction? 10/10 would recommend. The escalation, the tension, the suspense. I mean like, I basically just said the same thing three times but what I'm trying to tell you is that my butt was glued to the seat and my heart? racing off faster than the Zephyr towards the vortex.

Structure of this episode was Super Interesting. Because only Daisy and Coulson were aware of what was happening, there’s this amazing intensity that is created as the episode goes on and stakes get higher. Only both of them know what happened, and even Daisy is only half-informed. This creates a super unique dynamic which effectively narrows down the attention and action onto Daisy and Coulson. Even when Greenberg uses this focus to draw in different characters in turn (Simmons, Enoch, and Sousa all take turns in this focus), the overall focus is on Daisy and Coulson: they’re the ones moving forward, trying to solve the problem. All the other characters become closer to props as Daisy and Coulson move to save the team, so we really get those quality Daisy/Coulson moments. *contented dad and daughter tropes sigh*

More Plot, but this time on the Time Plot and the Aftereffects

I think Greenberg found a great loophole when he used the time plot to essentially reset Simmons’ access to her Forbidden Memories. This way, the Zephyr gets fixed AND we don’t need to worry about endangering Fitz by her remembering Also, Elizabeth Henstridge did an amazing job in that scene when she Remembers (not to mention the directing. we stan). That emotional intensity is really beautiful and completely believable, but also leaves you wondering What On Earth She Remembers to make her have such a huge emotional and physical reaction. 

However, I also wonder how the next episode will deal with the time loop. I mean, I’m guessing only Coulson and Daisy will be able to remember everything that happened? So how will Sousa feel around Daisy if he doesn’t remember that conversation they had, or that kiss? in this way I get the impression that this episode has many hypothetical qualities rather than being strictly believable; in other words, more fiction than science. (I mean, Greenberg kind of concessed to this when Coulson’s guess to why they both remembered was that they “both fell asleep in futuristic sleeping pods”). You can see Daisy and Coulson are asking themselves “What if?”. Daisy’s is What If she allows herself to act on the feelings that exist between herself and Sousa. Coulson’s What If is manifested in his spiel on the time loop essentially being a metaphor for if he chooses to continue life as a Chronicom. I suspect that the writers are building ground for the end when Coulson needs to make a choice on whether or not to continue as a Chronicom. 

And I know I said earlier that this episode works more like a stand-alone episode, but it really reminds me of the whole plot of season 5, when the team was also trying to break the time-loop. And this season the writers have been doing frequent callbacks to the previous seasons, so I guess the episode’s place is as an echo to season 5.  

Daisy Johnson

In any case, this episode itself creates an amazing space for an in-depth look at Daisy and Coulson. That part where Sousa essentially breaks down Daisy’s character, how she’s gotten used to being alone (she hasn’t really had any love interests since season 4. I mean, you could argue that daisy/deke was gonna be a thing at some point, but I think we’ve moved past that.) despite being surrounded by friends. she’s headstrong. that image of Daisy running at a brick wall? Pretty much the past seven seasons. Sousa picking up on that so quickly and so accurately makes me wonder how closely he’s been watching Daisy, or (not to sound too critical and pessimistic) if he knows Daisy so well because he knew someone else like her - someone of her “type”. If the latter is true, then I would worry that Sousa is attracted to Daisy because she reminds him of someone else - that Daisy. Mostly because that isn’t a great foundation for a lasting relationship. Also he’s only known her for like, a week. I feel that part of it is pretty rushed, but I get that with only 13 episodes we don’t have time for a slow burn. Still, I hope that they get that dynamic right. If Daisy’s arc is gonna include a relationship, it better be a VERY VERY good one. 

Coulson 

For me, this episode was crucial in filling in Coulson’s character. I felt like his whole revival had kind of been swept under the carpet. Sure, there were moments when he had been overwhelmed, but they were super brief. I think that these conversations are LONG overdue. There’s been a lot of stored grief of both sides of the coin: I don't think Daisy ever got to truly leave Coulson behind, emotionally or mentally, and I don’t think Coulson ever really got the chance to share his experience(s) with dying and coming back to life. 

Adding on to this already complicated situation is the fact that Coulson is essentially an LMD. The whole team, Coulson included, have very recent memories of LMDs taking over and threatening their very existence. This episode, and especially Coulson’s denial of the possibility that he has a soul was very very necessary. It’s only natural that Coulson - or Coulson’s memories/stimulated personality - have these doubts. Just that bit showed us how much Coulson is struggling to align what he knows with who he is now. The Phillinda heart in me was half-hoping that he would have the convo with May, but I think I like this approach more. May has had somewhat more of an emotional development than Daisy so far in this episode. Still, the whole conversation kind of reminded me of the convo he had with May back in season 1 when he showed her his scar. *teary look* those were good times. 

Final Thoughts

I’m honestly very satisfied with what we’ve seen of Daisy and Phil so far. I just hope that that will continue and they’ll both get closure. There’s this sense of finality, especially when Enoch said that “families grow apart”. It’s somewhat ominous and melancholy but it also feels right. Daisy has had some pretty amazing adventures and missions, but there’s also the fact that I think she does want a normal life; even if not boring normal, then a stable life. We first saw Daisy as a “hacktivist”, and she’s never had proper stability: orphaned from birth, and then homeless, and then through the literal physical and emotional chaos. Through seasons 1 to 2, Daisy has been searching for parental figures (cue her very telling dream of Phil and Melinda being her parents), and then from then, she’s been more of...soul searching I guess. So if Sousa can give her that, then I’m all for Sousy. x

[cutegirlmayra]

Amy Rose Prompt: Strong

It’s a birthday week! I just thought of this one while watching some inspiring and emotional scenes from all different types of animation. I guess my birthday wish is for characters that I’ve longed to see have a ‘strong impacting moment’ have them again sometime in the future that pumps us all up to cheer for them!

Commissions and prompts are open, but if you’ve submitted 3 ideas already, please hold off and let others have a try! :Db Thank you!

Prompt:

“Metal Sonic!!!” Amy spread her legs into a balanced stance. Her scuffed up boot dug deeper into the ground to give her a firm footing. The wind howled like a forlorn cry as she brought her hammer up, beginning to twirl it around herself as she did when she miraculously deflected Eggman’s canon-fire.

Metal Sonic was already going after his first priority: Sonic.

However, this little pink hedgehog was proving to be quite the nuisance.

He stopped in his departure and turned to see her still rearing to fight, but his scanners only saw her as an annoyance, not a threat.

The image of Rosy the Rascal was engraved in his memory, Amy Rose could not change his view of her. Pathetic.

“I won’t let you run!” she cried out, feeling the ache in her back and to alleviate some of it’s pressure, she hunched forward just slightly. “You will never be like Sonic The Hedgehog!”

It’s head turned with a creek of its steel, and its eyes blazed red in a heated acknowledgement of her words.

She found a moment to take a step forward, pushing herself to make him see her, to defeat the doubts that told her she could be destroyed trying to take him on.

“I’ve decided something, Metal... I’ve decided... I’m not going to try and redeem you.” she squinted her eyes, feeling her heart grow heavy as she admitted that.

He continued to stare at her, now fully turning his body towards her.

“Instead, I’m going to defeat you!” She took her existing hammer and swung it out, making it grow even larger than when Eggman had tried to trap her in that cavern.

“I could only make that decision because I knew two things, Metal Sonic! One, that you will never measure up to Sonic!”

Metal Sonic’s body hunched over, twitching in his rage.

“And secondly... Not just that... but that you don’t have a heart to redeem.” She turned to a moment of tenderness, as though still wishing that weren’t the case. “You’re true to following your programming, and being what you are... a villain. No, worse than that, a villain’s puppet... bent on being nothing more than a nuisance in this world!” She stepped forward again, “So no matter what I say to you, no matter how hard I try and teach you about friendship and the beauty found in this intangible world... you will only hate. Comparing yourself to Sonic, you are nothing like him! He taught Tails how to fly a plane!” she sped herself back into a ready stance as he charged her. It was like he was teleporting, how fast he moved.

He sent a slashing hand through to her center but she reflexed to holding her hammer like a sword engaging against a metallic shredder.

“Grr...Urk... HARRRAH!!!” she threw him off, and he flew back a moment.

“He brought Knuckles out of his isolation!” She swung her hammer to deflect his version of a homing-attack.

All the while, he was moving her back down the mountain, as though proving a point... she could never face him head-on...

As though mocking her for trying, he kept his next consecutive attacks with full force but slower, allowing her to block and continue to be pushed back by his power.

“Urk, gah... ha!” she blocked again and again, trying to swipe at him but he expertly would dodge her.

Zooming in to grab her hammer, he decided now would be a good time to boost his thrusters and send her farther back down the rocky cliff.

“AHHH!!!” he shoved her down and the hardness of the rock scraped against her bareback side.

He tried to pull the hammer out of her grasp, but she held on, making him pull her up as she took a foot and jammed it above his rotating center core, burning with fuel to allow him to operate.

She kicked off and he willingly let go... to him, this was mere child’s play. Just a way to shake her off his tail while he continued to hunt down Sonic.

She landed well but felt herself start to strain. ‘Not now...’ she got herself back up, ‘Not yet.’ she took her hammer in both hands, moving it clumsily over her shoulder.

“Y-you forget... or you don’t know-!” she bent herself, getting ready for the biggest home-run of her life. “Who taught me to fight..!” she charged forward, and underestimating her momentary rest, Metal Sonic leisurely lifted a hand to stop her but was slammed down by the unforeseen force that came with her hit.

He was knocked to the side, his eye-lights shaking due to his mental computer unable to compute what had just happened.

“He helped me to never give up!” she swung again, forcing him back to his feet and then slammed him down once more, “He taught me that you make your own destiny!!! The way you envision it! The way you want it to be!”

She kept hammering into him, and soon, as he began to step back... unable to brace himself from her impacts, he was losing pieces of his metal hide one after the other.

He stumbled, tripped, and fell over himself with each massive hit she threw at him... now he was the one getting pushed back up the mountain’s side...

“You will never be like him... because you don’t know what’s it like! You’ll never understand what Sonic has learned from us! What we’ve gained from him!” she continued to wham him with sensational fury and continual endurance, a steady show of power that only ever increased with each new powerful hit of her Piko Piko Hammer.

Amy’s swings became more and more rapid, but still carried so much weight in every blow.

Metal Sonic’s systems began to glitch out on his eye-lights, unable to process the progression of how far the battle had turned.

“Maybe it’s all Eggman’s fault... or maybe you truly just want to watch the whole world burn... but either way... There can only be one Sonic that lasts in my heart!” She brought the hammer over her head, and a crack of thunder burst from behind her, traveling like a spiderweb through the dark sky.

But it was that moment that Amy hesitated, breathing hard as her compassionate heart got the better of her.

Her eyes loosened from their fierce anger and narrowed bridge, realizing how awful she must appear.

She saw Metal Sonic struggling to get up, one of his eyes dented by her strikes and the other glaring up at her.

“...I’m no monster...” She stepped away, breathing out as the mental image of herself appeared in her mind. “I’m no villain... I’m just a hedgehog... who can’t stand to see people suffer around her...”

Within Metal Sonic’s programming, the image of Rosy the Rascal was being infiltrated, as Metal Sonic began to override his own logic and erase her image from his memory core... replacing it with that terrifyingly powerful stance Amy held before... and blurred out the threat level... having it massively bolded and blaring red: MAJOR THREAT.

“I’m not you.” she hissed out, seeing him shoot himself into the air, and charge his stomach-engine with a growing energy ball...

She remembered... pleading to the Chaos Emeralds to let her go super, and having her wished denied.

Even though she remembered... she held out her hand... “Chaos...”

Metal Sonic threw his arms back, bringing the the charge to the height of its power!

“...Please...” she squinted her eyes in the brightness of his blast that she knew she wouldn’t be able to escape or dodge from.

The Master Emerald flared to life, spiraling out from around it one of the Chaos Emeralds, a orange light spinning with it as it trailed a beautiful glow of chaos energy.

Tikal’s ghostly image appeared behind the flying emerald, moving like a comet towards her open hand to the side. “Amy..!” her voice cried out to her.

As the beam of Metal Sonic’s energy cascaded down like a vigorous wall of molten heat... The Chaos Emerald zipped to Amy’s side, and she caught it.

“CONTROL!!!!” Amy held up the emerald as time itself broke the fabric of space and reality and pushed her through its limits to appear twisting behind Metal Sonic.

He tried to turn around to her, but it was too late.

With one arm, her quills lingering up in the intensity of the moment, Amy crashed her hammer into his back, crunching the circuitry and snapping the tense wires out of place. Electricity burst from his being as he came smacking down into the earth below... Into the very crater of a grave he created for himself...

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Amy gave her everything to that attack, the Chaos Emerald’s glow ceased and she began to fall through the air.

“Ha...ha... oh no!” She looked around her, realizing taking out Metal Sonic was now the least of her worries. She had been transported thousands of feet into the air, and now... she was plummeting down at accelerated speeds.

“Sonic...” her eyes watered, before she clutched the Chaos Emerald again, “Chaos control!” her trembling hands from the wind pressure exposed its gloss form only to reveal it was still dull of any influence from her voice command... Her eyes widened, “This can’t be...” she squinted her eyes against the wind force again, “CHAAOOSSS!!! Control!” she tried again, turning it up towards the sky but nothing...

“S...S...Soooniiiccc!!!” she released the emerald from her hand, bundling her fists up to her chest and crying out her hero’s name...

In her most dire moment... a shimmer sparked like a star igniting far from her soul... but a sonic boom pulsed through the air as a figure--launched like a missile--swooped in an arch to grab her before she met her end.

She felt the lapping wind as the figure began to come to a screeching halt, trying to slow its momentum down before she felt herself blackout a moment.

When her limp body came too, she blinked to see a glowing figure above her. “-y...Amy..! Amy!”

Her eyes adjusted... and the bright being before her... was her Sonic.

“Amy, are you alright?” He was leaning over her, his two hands holding him up above her resting body, laying her down by the side of the cold mountain...

“Where’s Metal Sonic..?” He seemed concerned, and a gentle smile lifted to her face as her eyes glistened from his warm light.

“Sonic... I... I did it.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, but it was soft and gentle, something he wasn’t used to.

To show this, he leaned back a moment, his eyes widening in surprise by her sudden expression.

She was so full of gratitude, so content in helping her friends from the threat of Metal Sonic...

His smoking head rest deactivated, after having his form split apart and tumble loose down the rocky cliffs of the mountain’s proud face.

She was proud... but would he be?

“I beat him...” she gave a more fuller grin to her already exhausted and drained complexion. “Now... you’re the only Sonic...”

The only one that mattered.

Sonic’s image was blurring again.

“W-wait...” she wanted it to stay... but in that blurr, it focused only briefly to a proud smile on Sonic’s face, a happy expression.

“Thank you...” He began, as she blinked her eyes softly again, the world darkening once more. “Amy...”

[lycorogue]

A Family Tradition: Giving Thanks Tree

Tina Belcher - Image care of “Bob’s Burgers” on Fox

When I was a kid - I can’t even remember how old I first was - my mother would tape a cardboard cutout of a bare tree onto the attic door. Along its trunk were the words “Giving Thanks Tree”. She would then hang up a manila envelope filled with leaves cut out of red, orange, and yellow construction paper. Our goal for the month of November, leading into Thanksgiving? Write just one thing we’re thankful for each day and then hang it up on the cardboard tree so it is full by the end of the month.

As a child I HATED this tradition. It was so hard for me to think of 30 unique things I was grateful for, and usually ended up with generic things like “food” or “a home” or “boys” (I was a bit like Tina there). It wasn’t until college did I truly get the value of taking a few minutes each day to think about a blessing in your life you may have otherwise taken for granted. It was hard for me my freshman year of college to know I couldn’t participate in the family Giving Thanks Tree, so, with a new appreciation for the tradition, I made my own cardboard tree, hung it on my dorm room door, posted a sign explaining the tradition, and put out my own envelope of paper leaves for my floormates to join in. I was a naïve 18yo, but thankfully no one posted joke leaves. I was surprised at how many joined in on my tradition as I filled my tree with gratitudes. (I later brought my leaves home to post on the family tree).

In 2011 I got married and officially moved out of my mother’s home. I have yet to find a good wall or door to hang a big ol’ cardboard tree, so instead I switched to a digital list. This year I had decided to share to more than my personal Facebook page. I tried posting daily on Twitter as a month-long thread, but... well, it didn’t go so well, so I stopped after day 13, I think. I did finish the thread over on Facebook, and I decided to bring the complete list over to Tumblr.

So, for any who are interested, below the break is my list of 30 things I was grateful for this past November; things I hope to remain grateful for well beyond the next year. Always remember to stop to count your blessings. If you really try to find them, you will discover you have more than you might have realized.

1. I am grateful that my friends and family have been (mostly) safe and healthy this year, and that those who did contract COVID-19 were able to recover. ❤ (*proceeds to knock on wood*)

2. I am grateful for the amazing support system I have. I know I am one of the lucky ones, but between my husband, my family, my friends, and even my readers, I have so much positivity lifting me up, and I want to make sure I never take that for granted.

3. I am grateful to have a stable roof over my head. It's a decent size for two people (we just have a LOT of things). It has sturdy walls & a secure roof. We can keep it warm in the winter and cool in the summer (not cool enough for Hubby, but nothing outside a meat locker would be). We have an attentive but not intrusive landlady. She repairs anything that needs fixing ASAP, and is a lovely woman we can just pal around with on occasion. Those are things I know a lot of people can't say about their landlords/ladies. We also have welcoming neighbors that are a joy to run into in the parking lot. If we have to be "stuck" somewhere until we can buy our own place, where we are works wonderfully.

4. I am grateful that we are no longer hurting for money. We can splurge on smaller purchases (under $50) without much second thought. We can now pay off ALL of our monthly bills after just the first paychecks of the month. And then the rest of the month is building up funds for the next month's bills and savings. Speaking of, we have a little nest-egg of a couple grand, which is still relatively new for us. I'm also over-paying my student loans and car payment. Not by much, but enough that my bills are a couple months ahead, so... cool. I know that during this year in particular, having any sort of financial security is hard to hold onto, so I want to count our blessings that we're doing alright. *proceeds to knock on wood again*

5. As silly as it seems to say, I am grateful for all of the election memes. It was a super stressful time for most of us, and to have some sort of humor that most of the country could relate to (such as Flash from Zootopia being in charge of counting Nevada's votes) was a great stress reliever and bringer of much-needed smiles. So, thank you, Meme Lords/meme creators for bringing us such fantastic content to help ease that wait and stress.

6. I am grateful to see that my Muse is slowly returning to me, like a groundhog after a long hibernation, poking its head out just enough to acknowledge it's there before scurrying back into its burrow to hide again. It hasn't been much, and only one story was actually written in November, but I have been playing with a handful of plotbunnies. It's nice to be able to de-stress via plot-building and playing with character growth again. 😊 ❤

7. I'm sure you all saw this coming, but I am grateful that T**** lost the election. Not so much that Biden/Harris won, because there's issues there too, but that T**** will be out of the White House. Mostly, I'm grateful because that means so many that I love - and those online personalities that I respect - are going to be in a safer America (and world) as of January 20th. For those who suffered through physical, mental, emotional, financial, and maybe even spiritual hardships over the past 4 years - both Americans and international citizens alike - I am grateful that you get to take a breath and relax (at least, for a little bit) now. I don't know if Biden/Harris will (or can) do anything to actually help heal what caused my loved ones' suffering, but at least they won't be actively adding to it.

8. Getting away from the political, I am grateful that Hubby and I can eat whenever we want (outside of work). We may grumble about what we have available, but that's mostly due to not having the energy to turn ingredients into meals, or we've had the same meal 3x in a row already. Regardless, we CAN eat whenever we are hungry, and I am grateful for that.

9. Keeping with the "things people can take for granted easily" theme, I am grateful for my wardrobe. It may be simple and repetitive, but it is enough to wear something clean each day for anywhere between 7 and 12 days before needing to run to the laundromat. Nothing has holes or ratty edges (unless it's a beloved shirt I refuse to give up). My shoes have good soles to them, and I rarely have sore feet. When my feet DO get repeatedly sore, I have the funds to either fix my shoes via new insoles, or I can simply buy new ones. My coats are warm and, aside from one missing the grip of the zipper (but the zipper itself still works), they are still in good condition. I may not be the most fashionable, and I'm sure I'm not picking the best clothing to fit my body shape, but over-all, I'm protected from the elements, my body is protected, and I am well-kempt.

10. Kept me too long to mention this, but I am grateful that I was able to marry my best friend. There are those out there still looking for companionship. There are those who found it, but, in some cruel twist of fate, lost it. There are those who love their spouse, but may not exactly be friends with them. And yet, here Hubby and I are: two people who would gladly spend every waking moment with each other. I found someone I could chat and cuddle and laugh and cry with every moment of every day. Someone I share interests with, and someone who expands my list of interests. Someone who also expands my view of the world; who makes me wish to be more understanding and accepting, and just... better. I am lucky, and I never want to see a day when I forget that fact.

11. I feel a bit silly with this one, but I am grateful I don't have any major allergies I have to worry about. Specifically, no food allergies. I've seen how difficult it is for people to navigate around food allergies or intense airborne allergies. To have to not think about those sorts of things is such a privilege, and I'm truly grateful for it. I have enough issues with lactose intolerance.

12. Another kinda silly one, but, I'm grateful for @dragnime​ living next door to us. Same was true for when another friend was our neighbor. There's just something about seeing dragnime’s car when I come home (again, same with the other friend and his car) that makes me smile. I don't have to actually socialize with dragnime that day if we're both busy, but to see his car and know he's there should I want to reach out is just a weird sort of comforting. (Man, I really need Hubby and I to win the lottery so we can build our commune already....)

13. I am grateful for publicly announced self-appointed deadlines. Last year I started up my own tradition within the Miraculous Ladybug fandom: Friday 13ths should be Plagg Appreciation Day. Plagg is a character who, I feel, doesn't get nearly enough love or screen time. He's also the kwami of bad luck and destruction, so... Friday 13th seemed fitting. The final bit of writing I had actually finished and posted prior to November was for this fandom holiday back in March, and at the end of that story I told everyone "see you in November!" so I felt silly if I'd let this poor-writing year defeat me. I was determined to have at least THIS story written, and that determination paid off. It ended up taking almost literally my entire day off, but I was able to become inspired enough to write SOMETHING, and it seems to be received well, so... added yay. 😊

14. I am grateful for my relatively easy life. I have been loved and supported my whole life. I never really experienced abuse or prejudice (or even really bullying) personally. I was able to fully experience college without much personal trouble (my student loan debt notwithstanding). Aside from a single 6-month stint right after moving to NY, I have been able to find work easily enough. I haven't had to struggle for food or clothing or housing (stretch budget, yes; struggle, no). I haven't had to live without electricity or clean running water. I've never lost loved ones or valuable items (even sentimentally) through natural disasters. *knock on wood some more* There have been struggles in my life, to be sure, but, on the whole, I've had a happy, safe, supported, and relatively easy life.

15. I'm calling out @chibisunnie​ specifically. I am so SO very grateful for her. I mean, I always am, but this year in particular she's been such a pillar of strength for me. I can't even imagine the stress and panic this year must cause her, and yet she's still always there to comfort ME. (I mean, I hope I comfort her too, but this year in particular I feel it's more her comforting me.) She's been the main one (right behind Hubby) to remind me to be kind to myself this year and that it IS an unusual year; my "failings" in 2020 don't define who I am seeing it's an outlier year.

16. I am grateful that my sister is seeing her true self-worth. She’s worked so hard to improve herself and to find out who she truly is, and it's been fantastic to see her continue to evolve. It's also great to see her find someone who builds her up, so a side bit of gratitude to her boyfriend. And, yes, her perseverance, strength, and determination (as well as her mad crocheting skills) are still things that I greatly admire in her. I'm just so happy and proud and grateful that she seems to be in such a good place. ❤

17. I am grateful that my mom has discovered how capable she truly is. This year has been undeniably hard on small businesses such as hers. It must be such a struggle to keep everything afloat and to stay positive, and yet she is. She's pushing herself to improve her business and marketing. She's dealing with modern technology – basically the bane of her existence – nearly all day long between Zoom meetings to network and learn and grow, to working remotely, to making videos to help promote herself, to reworking her business's website, etc. She's grown so much over the year and I'm so proud of her.

18. Since I mentioned it, I am grateful for video conference programs such as Zoom. Unfortunately, due to scheduling conflicts, exhaustion, and my right knee getting worse, I had to stop doing Zumba (I'm hoping to work my way back into the routine again sooner than later). However, before June screwed me over, Zoom was how I was able to keep up with this exercise routine post-shutdown. It's how I've been able to see my family. It's how so many have been able to continue working. It's how YouTubers I enjoy manage to still interact for their videos. It's fantastic that this technology is not only available, but it's also accessible to so many.

19. Speaking of which, I am grateful for the Oxboxtra crew, Dicebreaker, the Theory Family (yes, I’m aware people find MatPat problematic...), SuperCarlinBrothers, OSP, Hello Future Me, and The Warp Zone. In total, that’s nearly a dozen different YouTube channels I routinely watch – focused mostly on OutsideXbox, Outside Xtra, Film Theory, Game Theory, Food Theory, and SuperCarlinBrothers – and these channels have really helped me keep my sanity. The fandoms specifically for OutsideXbox, Outside Xtra, and SuperCarlinBrothers are just so sweet and supportive of even fellow fans. The YouTubers have such big hearts and are so delightfully goofy, it's almost like welcoming friends into my home whenever I watch them. I even started checking out stuff on Luke Westaway's and Ellen Rose's private channels on YouTube because I enjoyed these entertainers so much. So, thank you, YouTubers, for helping me find something that lets me forget what's going on in the world for 2hrs and just have fun. ❤

20. Along those lines, I am grateful for games such as Animal Crossing: New Horizons and Among Us. Both of those games, and similar ones that were available this year, were great distractions from the chaos of 2020. They have provided fantastic and unique gameplay content for the YouTube channels I follow, which, in turn, provided great video content for me to watch. These types of games were also, and most importantly, great ways for people to stay connected. I've been able to bond and joke around and preoccupy myself with games and gaming streams, and they have certainly been such great lifelines.

21. I am grateful for quiet cuddle moments. Be it in the evening while Hubby and I are watching TV, or while we're actually snuggled in bed watching Disney+ or Netflix, or after hitting snooze in the morning and just wanting to stay cuddled together for another 5 minutes, or even when one of us (*cough*usuallyme*cough*) is feeling super stressed and we just take a couple-minute time-out to just hug, I am grateful for all of them. I know not every couple gets to have these physical contact moments for various reasons, add in my own experience of having an 8-year long-distance relationship, and I try so hard to not take those quiet moments of just simple hugs or hand holds or back scratches for granted.

22. I am grateful for music and the ability to experience it. It motivates me. It inspires me (I have so many stories/chapters written because a song made me think of the plot). It helps with cathartic release. It gets me moving and exercising. It keeps me focused. It allows me to just zone out. Music is just so important in my life and the life of so many more. Bless all the music creators and performers.

23. I am grateful for Anime Night. It's a bit of normalcy in this year of anything but. It's a way to stay connected with a couple of my friends, and the little bits of socializing we do outside of watching has really allowed me to get to know both men more, as well as learn more about the other people really important in their lives.

24. I am grateful for the experience of turning fans into friends (and also being allowed to evolve from fan to friend). One of the best things about fanfiction is the ability to see people interact and react with your work, and to then respond in kind. It's sort of a silver lining to the relatively small number of views and comments on most fanfiction (compared to most professionally published work, that is), since it means you aren't too overwhelmed to truly experience each comment, follow, fave, like, reblog, etc. Through people gushing about my work, and me gushing back at how happy they've made me, I've been able to build up some really sweet friendships. I've also made two new close-acquaintances (we don't interact QUITE enough to be “friends” just yet) from my own gushy reviews and their responses to how great my reviews made them feel. So, to @chibisunnie​, @thetauruspixie​, @livrever​, @tlos21​, @chanceuseladynoire​ and @zenmisery​ (I hope that's all of you), I am so grateful for the bond we've had over fanfiction. Love all of you so much! ❤

25. I am grateful for members of minorities and other marginalized peoples for taking the time and effort to try to educate others; making it easier on us when they are in no way obligated to help us understand at all (it's really on us to put in the effort to try to understand them). This year alone, via personal posts on social media, infographics, comics, people posting reference sheets of hotlinks to research/source materials, etc, I was able to learn so much. I was able to grow and try to overcome my own prejudices, misunderstandings, and misinformation. All because people decided to share their raw experiences or do the research for me. It was something each and every one of them volunteered to do in an effort to help educate, and I am so grateful for the lessons they've taught me.

26. I am grateful that people find me a safe person to talk to. It is one of the few things I want in life; to be a safe haven for friends, family, and even strangers who are hurting. I realize the amount of trust people put in me and the vulnerability they are allowing themselves. It is humbling, to say the least, but also such an amazing feeling. I will try to keep learning and keep growing to keep earning the trust warranted me being this safe haven, but in the meantime, I'll continue to be grateful that people do find me as someone they can be safe with.

27. On the flipside, I am grateful to have friends who allow me to just be who I am. I can be obsessed with a cartoon aimed at 10 year olds (Miraculous Ladybug), and my friends not only don't judge, but they also happily let me know when their young children start to enjoy the show! I can be goofy or forgetful or screw something up, and, again, there's no judgment. They just accept me as I am, and I am blessed.

28. I am grateful for the support my friends and family have (outside of me) in their lives. It does my heart well to know that even if I disappear due to my own mental health issues, that my friends and family still have great support around them. They are all kind people surrounded by more kind people, and I nearly cry whenever I read or hear about my friends getting support they need and the outpouring of support. YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE AND I LOVE YOU ALL AND EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU DESERVE THE OUTPOURING OF SUPPORT YOU'VE FOUND. ❤

29. I am grateful for the continued bonding we've had with my sister-in-law this past year. I miss having the post-Zumba walk where we can just talk, but, largely through effort on her part, we've been having some time every Tuesday when she comes over to work after dropping the kids at school. We also had a whole evening with her on Black Friday. She's also texted and called a few times to chat, and we are getting closer and closer each year. Not everyone thinks of their in-laws as family despite what the law says, so I'm grateful that we have always thought of each other as family, and that we continue to bond and grow as siblings.

30. I am grateful for this family tradition. It allows me to really focus on what is important in life, and all the joys and blessings I've experienced. It's especially important during this trash heap of a year. I love that I can find silver linings in my life and appreciate what I have. This tradition is also a reminder to not take things for granted. I am so SO grateful that my mom introduced us to this tradition and forced us to participate as we grew up. It's a lesson that will stay with me, and it's such an important one. Thank you, Mom!

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @neptunianwaterofdream

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a locomotive shape. this means that you're a very ambitious person, with a lot of energy. saturn has a big influence on you, and your life revolves around your career, achieving your long-term goals and having a stable, peaceful life. the empty part of your life is what you have to develop, hence your family, friendships and just relationships in general are what you need to work on in this lifetime.

your dominant planets are uranus, pluto and venus. you are a very unpredictable person, you may often change ideas and opinion. you're a transformation-oriented person, you always try to learn from your mistakes to become a better person. you're probably also very creative and imaginative.

your dominant sign is scorpio. you may have trust issues and be quite of a loner, yet once you commit to someone, you'll be in for a long ride. you are very deep, both mentally and emotionally. you may struggle with power control, as you may have the perception that people are trying to take advantage of you due to your insecurities. because of that, you may also get quite possessive and bossy.

your dominant element is water. you're very intuitive and empathetic, you care a lot about others, and you may seem like a healer to people you know. in fact, you always try to help them if you can, almost in a therapeutic way. you're also very spiritual, and you're attracted to anything related to discovering your higher self and soul purpose.

🌍 ascendant in aquarius, 6° / 1st decan ruled by uranus

you have a very unusual, yet striking charisma to you. people notice you because you look different, interesting. you probably have an alternative style, or at least you don't like following trends. you prefer making your own. you are very independent and open-minded, you hardly ever judge someone from its appearance, for example. you are fond of friendship, it's most likely more important than love for you, but at the same time you're more of a loner. you'd rather spend the day in watching your favourite show on the couch than going out and partying. your self-esteem most probably fluctuates a lot: some days you're very confident, especially in your skills / abilities, and maybe as well in your appearance. other days, though, you start feeling pretty insecure. you're very unpredictable, not only from this point of view, but in your life in general. you're probably extremely indecisive, especially with your sun being in the sign of libra, and you may change your mind often. yet, once you make your decision, no one can convince you into changing your mind, you're extremely stubborn in this case. in addition, because of this behaviour of yours, you could possibly even come off as a know-it-all from time to time. deep down, you're really not. you strive for freedom, you don't want to force others into thinking the same way as you do when it comes to shallow opinions. your life philosophy is most likely 'live and let live', everyone is free to do what they want for you. on the other hand, you're most likely an amazing friend, as you know what it means to support and help an individual or a group. you're an ideal leader, basically. your first impression of you may be that you look slightly unapproachable and cold, but it's not entirely true. in fact, you hide a lot of emotions that you'd rather not show to the world. physically, you may have healthy, thick hair, like your sister sign leo after all. you may as well be naturally skinny or petite, and you could also have long limbs or hands. you may as well have pretty dark features, like super dark hair or bushy eyebrows, togerher with a sharp facial structure, from cheekbones to the nose. you may as well have thin lips.

aquarius ascendant square scorpio sun: this placement indicates that, when you’re in public, you tend to act in a different way from who you truly are. perhaps you’re shy, so you tend to hide your intense, charismatic scorpio sun with your detached, reserved aquarius rising. this can obviously interfer in your relationships and bonds with others; some may expect you to be different, so you may often lose friends because you turned out to be more astute than what they were expecting. in fact, you may often attract people that try to take advantage of you. I wouldn’t worry too much, though, as I find this placement beneficial in your case, exactly because of this reason. but just in case it bothers you, now that you’re aware of this tendency of yours you can try to understand your real self more thanks to this reading, and start acting like who you truly are to get out of your shell.

aquarius ascendant square scorpio venus: this aspect makes you more sociable and prone to interact with people. you’re also most probably very attractive, people are naturally drawn to you. the downside of this placement is that you may suffer from self-esteem issues, as you really care about others’ impression of you. maybe you’re a little bit clumsy too. it’s easy for you to gain popularity, but be careful as it’s not always good. popularity brings scandals too, so people you see in your everyday life could possibly start gossips around you. the good thing about this aspect is that you emanate loyalty, so you usually attract and choose loyal and trust-worthy partners. this placement may also bring issues and problems in marriage with your future partner, and since your venus is placed in scorpio opposing your saturn I'd pay attention to that, as you may come across issues with your partners, especially long-term relationships.

aquarius ascendant square aries saturn: you may be shy and have self-esteem issues, especially during your early years. because of that, you may often appear as insecure to others, or even unreliable. you have a strong desire to be with someone and commit to them, you despise supertificial bonds, but at the same time you may find yourself being too shy to approach others, especially during your early years. especially with your pisces moon, you are very sensitive, and any little thing that others say to you may hurt you. you are overall very picky. at least, this may apply more to the younger you, actually. you don't feel much comfortable around other people, and others can sense that; your insecurity is exposed to the world, and some may take advantage of that to hurt your feelings. you're afraid of being judged, whether it's for your appearance, or maybe because of your ideals or interests. hence, you end up becoming reserved. this is something that will be solved through growth and time; the older you get, the easier you'll be on yourself. also, thanks to this aspect, you're a responsible person with defined values. to cope with this placement, I'd suggest you to do what makes you feel the best. there are different ways to boost your self-esteem, so maybe you can work on that and then start expressing yourself freely; if you do it without the fear of being judged, you will shine even more.

🌞 sun in scorpio, 7° / 1st decan ruled by pluto

you're quite of a loner, you prefer spending time alone rather than with others. you're extremely intuitive, and you can read people like a book; they can't lie or keep secrets from you, you'll surely find out. you're pretty charismatic, and paired with your wise intellect it's hard not to agree with your ideas, especially considering that your moon is in aquarius. you're basically a leader, a very demanding one. you have high standards regarding everything: clothes, food, goals, people... you're always striving for the best, you don't want to settle down. on the other hand, even though it may take you a while to find someone worth of your affection, once that someone shows up you'll stay with them forever. you're deeply loyal, and also caring in your own way. that's because you value feelings, you can easily smell when someone isn't trustworthy. you're probably very protective of your friends and loved ones in general, sometimes even too much. this could even escalate and become a more serious issue, as scorpio is also the planet of obsession, after all. it's common for you to feel your emotions x2, as they're too intense to handle. you know everything about others, but you don't show off and gossip about it. actually, you keep the info for yourself and use it when you need it. you're a sort of strategic cia agent, and your mars being in the logical virgo confirms this.

scorpio sun conjunct scorpio venus: you enjoy peace and harmony. you want your surroundings to look all neat and clean, and the same goes for the people you surround yourself with. you wish people saw you as easy to approach, even though you may struggle with your image. you try to be as formal and kind as possible with people you don’t know well, unless they start getting on your nerves by disagreeing with your opinions or being too bossy. you’re very gentle, not only in your looks and manners but also in the way you dress, making you less intimidating than the typical scorpio. you’re quite romantic too, and dream of having a perfect marriage. the downside to this aspect is that because you take so much care of yourself, people may mistake your self-love for vanity, especially with your venus squaring the ascendant. also, your self-esteem may depend too much on others’ opinion of you; you may start thinking you’re ugly and unworthy of love just because someone told you you’re not their type, to sum up.

scorpio sun opposite aries saturn: during the first years of your life, you were most likely very insecure. probably, your father or any kind of authoritative figure influenced your growth, making you self-conscious about your looks and abilities. they might've been really strict, or at least critical or overprotective of you. you feel the need to be perfect, or at least to meet others' expectations. you may also care too much about what others think about you. you may be a late bloomer, and you could face some hardships in your relationships, but this gets better with time. this probably manifests in your approach to friendships and relationships, making you quite awkward. don't worry, though; as you become more aware of yourself and your potential, saturn's lessons won't seem so harsh anymore.

🌙 moon in pisces, 11° / 2nd decan ruled by neptune and pluto

hands down my favourite moon sign! you're extremely empathetic and sensitive, you care a lot about others and you treat others' problems as if they were yours, you get totally immersed in them. you have quite a vivid imagination, you're able to idealize and picture anything you want. while this placement gives you an incredible amount of creativity, it can also make you uncomfortable. in fact, you may actually find yourself imagining every detail of every situation, even the worst ones. let's suppose you hear of a rape at the news; you literally start imagining the scene detail by detail, and it makes you extremely uncomfortable. actually, it literally ruins your mood, as it's as if you actually lived that scene. going back to the creativity matter, you have the soul of an artist. you have very enhanced emotions, and you're able to express them through artistic outlets. you could be amazing at writing poetry, books, art, music... also, your particular empathy of human's intellect can also make you an amazing psychologist or actor, as you're able to understand others' feelings and make them your own. you're extremely spiritual, and if you don't feel like that, you just have yet to have your spiritual awakening. you may be able to talk to spirits, for example, or perhaps you have very meaningful dreams. or maybe, you could literally predict the future through them. you're also most probably an avid daydreamer, you tend to get distracted easily because you're too busy thinking about random scenarios in your head. seriously, you could even make a movie out of them. you're also an hopeless romantic, and you dream of finding not just your spouse, but your literal soulmate. to make it simple, you want all of your daydreams to become reality.

pisces moon opposite virgo mars: your feelings are very intense. you may tend to react aggressively, or at least overreact. you feel the constant need to express your emotions, but you also want to be understood by others. you tend to be aggressive because you're actually afraid that others may be the first ones to hurt you. you don't really do it with malice, it's your way to defend yourself from eventual enemies. this placement also indicates that your childhood / family life was or will be quite turbulent, even though I don't think it's necessarily you case as your 4th house, which is about family and home, isn't badly aspected, it's probably nothing too serious. to cope with this placement, I'd suggest you to be a little bit more mechanic when you express your feelings. you don't have to hide them, just try not to vent all your anger around. you don't seem strong, you're just exposing your weaknesses in this way.

pisces moon conjunct pisces jupiter: you enjoy making different experiences and living your life to the fullest, making you also a risk-taker. you may lack self-control, when it comes to expressing your emotions. you could be too impulsive, for example. with this trait you get bored easily, and you may have a reputation for being flaky. you tend to overindulge; you may spend too much money, or even develop eating disorders like binge-eating. at least, you're able to build your life again and have a fresh start, but you risk to get stuck in this cycle. you have the potential to master different talents, but you may struggle to develop them due to this placement. you're a procrastinator, and you find it hard to focus on more things at the same time. you may also attract people with different beliefs and ideas from you, causing you to fall out with them easily. there are also positive sides to this placement, though! you're probably naturally lucky, even though luck may not always be by your side. you have a nice sense of humor, making you more likeable to contrast your scorpio rising.

🗣 mercury in scorpio, 28° / 3rd decan ruled by pluto and the moon

you're extremely blunt and straight-forward, you may actually hurt people with your words. you probably lack diplomacy, and you're very realistic. the thing is, you speak the truth, but not everyone can accept it. that's why your behaviour is so controversial. though, since your mercury is also conjunct venus, I assume you could manifest this side of you only when you react by impulse, when you're angry. otherwise, you try to be as well-spoken as possible. you speak fluent sarcasm, and that could annoy people who don't understand your sense of humor. you're probably good at lying, and even manipulating people. you may often make others change their mind just with your own words, but be careful not to use this skill to hurt others, or you'll only experience a sense of guilt and overall the bad sides of it. on the other hand, you're an extremely captivating speaker, you'd be successful at anything that involves the use of words and voice. you're truly intuitive, and it's easy for you to understand when someone is being honest or is lying to you. last but not least, you're very secretive as well. you're probably the type to know everything and anything about others, while you remain a mystery.

❤️ venus in scorpio, 7° / 1st decan ruled by pluto

this placement is extremely intense; you have very high standards when it comes to love. you're a passionate, loyal lover, but at the same times you also want and need a lover that is willing to go as far as you go with your feelings. you may often test your partner to see if they're worthy of your love, for example. you have this sort of self-destructive behaviour that makes people stressed, just because you have extreme trust issues and you feel the need to control everyone, especially if 'everyone' is your lover. you find yourself being more attracted to 'darker' types; that is, you may be into bad boys, someone with an edgy / grunge aesthetic. I've noticed that many scorpio venus individuals have a thing for people wearing leather jackets, for example. you're probably into the idea of that passionate, even kinky love, despite being quite afraid of opening up to others. you despise too much intimacy, especially since you may often attract and / or fall for self-centered players that don't care about the intensity and purity of your feelings. as I've already mentioned above, you may have a few trust issues that lead you into being extremely jealous and / or possessive. you could even get quite stalker-ish at times, but in the best way possible of course. that isn't because you want to take over your partner's life, but you need to feel secure and understand whether you're dedicating your time and your heart to the right person or you're just wasting yourself. a betrayal would hurt you deeply, as you'd literally die for the one you love.

scorpio venus opposite aries saturn: you feel unable to love someone, or perhaps you pressured from others to hide your love, maybe it's your shyness or it could as well be other factors. this placement usually brings fear of committing, causing the individual to be flaky. there are two possibilities; I assume you directly avoid to get into relationships. your mind may unconsciously repress any thought about an eventual crush or love interest. it is caused by your insecurity, especially regarding your looks. or perhaps, it’s the other way around: you literally jump into relationships, resulting in you getting hurt from time to time. you could feel pressured to be in a relationship, even though it’s not your priority. this is something that is mainly caused by insecurity, whether you realize it or not, even though it's something that will get better with time, especially since you have a stellium in the transformative scorpio. don’t be afraid of not being enough, because you are. but if you don’t realize it first, others won’t. you have to be your own healer, you’re totally capable of doing that.

☄️ mars in virgo, 14° / 2nd decan ruled by mercury and saturn

your life revolves around being productive. you don't like to waste your time, you always try to learn and gain something useful from everything you do. that's caused by the fact that you're motivated to be perfect in what you like; this, combined with your competitive nature, may often cause you to burn out. in fact, the downside to this placement is that you may overwork yourself too much. this is bad, especially considering your heavy water dominance: your pisces moon is all about imagination, creativity, sleep, dreams... if you work too much, you don't have time to travel with your mind, and that's a serious issue for a pisces. in fact, it may be hard for you to endure too much hard work. you're capable of achieving your goals, but in order to do that you also need a break from time to time.

virgo mars opposite pisces jupiter: you easily come off as more assertive and arrogant than you actually are. you say things impulsively, and sometimes you’re too blunt and hurt people’s feelings. you don’t do it on purpose, though, there’s no malice behind your acts; it’s just your natural way to express your opinions. you’re also very competitive, and this may make you look selfish. on a positive side, you probably have a naturally nice body (or maybe you react fast to diet/workout). you’re a risk-taker, and if you’re not you should try breaking the rules sometimes (obviously not doing illegal stuff lol). in fact, it’s when you’re both physically and mentally active that you’re able to come up with even better ideas, as you’re full of creativity. to cope with this placement, you can try doing something fun to challenge your mind, basically get out of your comfort-zone. of course you don’t have to overdo it, but it would be beneficial.

virgo mars square sagittarius pluto: with this placement, I assume that when you were younger you were some sort of victim. you could have been bullied, for example, you used to be insecure about the way you looked and were. you could have felt different from others, and they took advantage of that to make you feel even more insecure. or maybe, it was a parent, or every authoritative figure in your life, that restricted you from following your own ideals. because of that, now you constantly feel the need to prove yourself. you probably tend to accumulate a lot of anger all together, which you need to let all out or you could explode. you could find comfort in physical ways to relieve stress, like punching bags, slamming doors, etc. or perhaps, when you're angry you just get overwhelmed by all of your emotions. you may cry, scream, even throw up in certain cases. on the other hand, you are extremely magnetic and attractive to others, you naturally draw people towards you. you're also extremely passionate in whatever you do, you put your whole heart in doing things you love. you're very hard-working and determined to achieve your goals, and I find this beneficial considering that your pisces energy tends to make one superficial. with this aspect, you're probably more dedicated than the common aquarius rising / pisces moon, especially since you also have your mars in the productive virgo.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in aquarius. you’re very electric and noticeable, you probably appear as someone quite edgy too. it’s hard for you to blend into society, and hence you may end up not having many close friends, especially during your early years. in fact, you may find yourself befriending people with your same interests, it’s very important for you. you may have frequent mood swings, and you could get nervous quite easily. you probably despise authority, in fact you’re quite reckless yourself, but in life you need to understand that it is often necessary for the world. with the ruler of the 1st house in the 1st house, you have big goals for your future, they’re basically the centre of your life, it revolves around your goals and achievements. you’re naturally charismatic, you may develop a high sense of worth as you grow up. you may also be very attached to your image, you may take lots of care of it.

your 2nd house is in pisces. your relationship with money may not be totally stable; you may get distracted easily, and you could lose your money around. you could be quite messy, overall, or in general, this is usually a placement that indicates sudden money loss. this placement also confirms that your self-esteem isn’t stable either; you could be quite insecure, and you may idealize a lot the way you look. for example, you could think that you have an ugly nose when it’s actually the opposite. same goes for your belongings; you may think that you have saved loads of money, you spend them, and then you realize you didn’t really have much. the moon is also placed in this house, together with jupiter: this placement makes you naturally lucky when it comes to making money. you may end up pursuing a career that is well-paid, or perhaps you're good at managing money, accumulating wealth with time. the moon here could make you a little materialistic, you may be the type to show your affection through gifts for example. your emotional state may also reflect your finances, hence if you're wealthy, you're also stress-free and viceversa. the ruler of the 2nd house is in the 12th house: you could increase your self-esteem through spiritual outlets. for example, getting to know more about your soul purpose, or even about your birth chart, can literally boost your sense of worth. perhaps, even through charity work, or even by helping the world in general. you could also make money from yoga, meditation and spirituality in general.

your 3rd house is in aries. when you communicate, you take a lot of pride in your opinions. you hate admitting that you’re wrong, especially since you’re a perfectionist. you could be quite impulsive, and you may speak with a naturally loud tone of voice. you’re extremely good at coming up with plans easily, even though you may have troubles sticking to them, as your fiery nature gets easily bored. you also have saturn in the third house; this placement is quite tricky, like every saturn placement after all. perhaps, when you were younger you could have started speaking later than other kids, or perhaps you used to stutter. you were slower when it comes to speaking and thinking, and you could have been picked on for it. nowadays, this energy may project in a struggle to speak your mind. you have very innovative ideas, but you tend to keep them for yourself, and if you do share your opinion with others, you may often get in troubles for the way you speak. the ruler of the 3rd house is in the 8th house: your self-growth process happens when you’re able to stay by yourself and explore your own mind, you probably think a lot. you also love learning about psychology in general, spirituality, etc. actually, you may even be skilled at reading tarots, birth charts, or at least you have the potential to be good at it.

your 4th house is in taurus. your childhood probably wasn’t turbulent, unless for those topics I talked about in the sun section. it was mostly quite peaceful, and you probably were able to express your creativity. maybe, your parents were a bit strict or over-protective, possibly materialistic too, but that's it, nothing traumatic. the ruler of the 4th house, venus, is in the 9th house: you might have moved in a different country when you were younger, you have a different culture / religion from your birth place. also, you might as well be able to speak one or more foreign languages. your parents may be from another country too, or perhaps you have a foreign name / surname. you could also have foreign ancestors.

your 5th house is in gemini. you feel able to express yourself and your creativity through communication and media. probably, when you were a child you used to love puzzles. your have tons of hobbies, and they are all quite different from each other. they have the goal to stimulate your mind in some way, so for example if you read a book, it has to be about something interesting for you, that allows you to open your mind and also that teaches you something. mars is also located in this house: to recharge yourself, relax and fun are essential for your wellness. if you don’t dedicate some time in your daily routine to nurturing your hobbies, or even just watching a tv show or hanging out with your friends, you don’t function correctly. because of that, I’d suggest you to pursue a career that involves your passions. so for example, if you like taking pictures you could become a photographer. this is confirmed by the fact that the ruler of the 5th house in the 10th house; in fact, you'll most likely make a career out of an hobby of yours. for example, let's suppose you like learning languages as an hobby, you may become a translator. or in general, you're going to pursue a career that involves creativity in some way.

your 6th house is in cancer. you may find yourself often having diseases around the stomach area, you may tend to bloat often for example. this placement also indicates that there might be someone in your family that works in the health field, hence there could be a surgeon, a nurse, a therapist, a nutriotionist, a vet, etc. you may choose a career that allows you to work from home as well, or perhaps you may work with children, families or houses in general. you may even end up following the same steps of your family and pursue their same career, or perhaps you may end up working with someone from your family or even just childhood in general. the ruler of the 6th house is in the 2nd house: you may earn money from helping people in any way. this placement obviously makes great doctors of any kind, but you may even heal through creative outlets for example. you may become a musician and heal people through your music, you could be a writer who heals people with his books and poems, and so on.

your 7th house is in leo. in love, you crave attention and being spoiled with care. in a partner, you’re extremely picky; you care about everything, from personality to looks. yet, this is another placement that indicates that you’re particularly loyal and protective. you want to be the centre of your partner’s attention, they must only dedicate their heart to you. ironically, you tend to attract quite selfish, self-centered people who want to be in the spotlight just like you. on the other hand, if you’re patient enough to satisfy their needs, they’ll be extremely supportive, loyal and affectionate with you. with the ruler of the 7th house, the sun, being in the 9th house, your future spouse may most likely be foreign. you may meet directly abroad, or perhaps he's a polygot, he may speak different languages, he may have a different culture from yours... this person may even be a traveller, and he may have major sagittarius placements. possibly, you may even meet him in university, as the 9th house is also about higher education and school.

your 8th house is in virgo. you use a practical approach when it comes to intimacy, you may struggle to let go around others, especially with the prominent scorpio / pluto dominance that you have in your chart. you’re extremely secretive, you hardly ever talk about yourself, and you may even despise being too exposed. you’d rather stay by yourself, in fact you have a very mysterious vibe to your aura. also, with virgo in the 8th house, you may feel so tied to a schedule, to a plan, that you lack flexibility. you're too logical, even though deep down you have this intuition that you can't fully express. on the other hand, while this makes it hard for you to get closer to your spiritual, higher self, you're extra good at handling situations here on the earth. for example, you may handle money very well if you're well-organized. transformation in your life happens when you're able to stimulate your logical mind to earn awareness of your problems. to make it simple, you may often not realize your mistakes yourself, others have to let you notice, but thanks to your heavy plutonian energy in your chart you're able to solve your problems by your own. in addition, mars is also placed in this house: this placement enhances your scorpio features. your action is oriented towards discovering, you go beyond what people usually understands. you give all of yourself in what you care about, you’re extremely passionate and resolute to achieve your goals, especially since your mars is in virgo. one thing to point out is that the 8th house brings lots of karma to the planets placed in this house. therefore, it could be that during your early years, you might’ve had a hard time dealing with anger, or figuring out your sexuality. luckily, as you grow mature, you’ll get naturally better and stress-free.

your 9th house is in libra, with also your sun and venus placed there. your beliefs and life philosophies were shaped by the outside world. that doesn’t mean you’re basic; you just don’t look enough in yourself, you prefer taking inspiration from others. e.g, if you see everyone wearing pink, then you start wearing pink too. there’s nothing wrong with that of course, especially if it’s about shallow matters, not like politics for example. yet, if you don’t, try to find out your sincere opinion in yourself. in fact, when you realize that you don’t feel attached to a certain topic or opinion, you just leave it behind and seek other truth. you hate being told what to do, you want to be free in the decisions you make. the sun here makes you extremely open-minded! you probably hardly ever have prejudices, you don’t judge a book from its cover, as you are very supportive of others. you probably despise racism, homophobia and any kind of discrimination that doesn’t bring justice. you may also be particularly interested in studying, especially philosophy, literature, but also foreign cultures. you could be skilled or at least interested in foreign languages as well. regarding venus, you may find yourself being more attracted to foreigners, and you may actually end up marrying a foreigner. or perhaps, you tend to fall for unavailable people; that is, your crushses may live far from you, or perhaps they’re already taken. something of this kind.

your 10th house is in scorpio. you may have a reputation for looking mysterious, as you’re probably not very sociable. you’re extremely motivated to achieve your goals, even though you may feel lost and confused due to your retrograde saturn. you’ll pursue a career that involves looking for the truth, hence you may be a detective, a scientist, a poet etc. overall, once you find your true vocation, you’ll have no problems working, even though it may take you a while to find the right job for you due to your midheaven being in scorpio. you also have mercury placed in this house; you have a reputation for being smart and intelligent, you may have a witty intellect that people acknowledge you for. you may also be a smooth talker, you have a way with words, especially since your mercury is in the persuasive sign of scorpio. this is also another placement that indicates that you may eventually pursue a career that has to do with speaking, thinking, teaching... you may work as a translator, an interpreter, a teacher, a professor... anything that has to do with communicating a message, probably a meaningful message to help society.

your 11th house is in sagittarius. your friends may be very open-minded, and you might have met them in school. they could also come from a different cultural background, or maybe they’re directly from abroad. at first, you struggled to make friends, as you were very secretive. with time, you’re learning to trust people and to transform and grow up through them. overall, you find yourself at ease when you’re with them, you’re particularly fond of your friendships as they play a big role in your growth and fortune. in addition, the 11th house is also about goals, dreams and future, therefore with jupiter’s influence you may have big goals. you may want to accomplish giant, almost impossible goals, or perhaps your idea of success has to do with succeeding in education, learning as much as you can about the world that surrounds you. the ruler of the 11th house is in the 2nd house; you may earn money from your dreams, therefore you may pursue your dream career as an example. you may also have wealthy, possibly materialistic friends, or perhaps you earn money thanks / with your friends. you may have a business together, or at least if you did, you may be able to earn money.

your 12th house is in capricorn, with also neptune placed there. I feel like you’re an extremely spiritual person! especially with neptune being in its natural place. you may be able to have prophetic dreams, talk to spirits, read tarots or birth charts… anything that has to do with your higher self and world. yet, due tp capricorn’s influence in the cusp, I assume it could be hard for you to fully embrace these skills of yours. in fact, you may be a bit too pragmatic to embrace your spirituality. I think you’re already working this out since you’ve booked an astrology reading to discover more about yourself, but remember that you should definitely try to get more in touch with your soul! even doing simple stretching, meditation or yoga can help give you some space to think about your identity, your wants and your needs. you may also be a religious person or have any kinf of higher belief. the 12th house is also the house of fears, and since its cusp falls in capricorn, you may be afriad of authority, like the police for example, or anything that appears to be much bigger and more supported than you. it may also manifest in fear of not being organized, and also fear of money / success loss.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love, you attract leo, virgo, gemini, sagittarius, scorpio. your future spouse will most likely have scorpio and / or sagittarius traits or placements in their chart. they’ll be very similiar to you: passionate and extremely emotionally intelligent with strong feelings and values. your spouse, as I've already mentioned above, may possibly be foreign, and you may meet him abroad, possibly in your workplace. your children will most likely have gemini and / or virgo; they’ll be particularly witty and intelligent, either too talkative and chatty or too quiet and reflective, but they'll have strong ideas that will get them known for being mature and smart.

👶🏻 family life

your mother was very caring and affectionate with you, even though she could’ve been a bit too protective and/or materialistic. she’s probably a taurus or a libra, possibly even a scorpio or sagittarius, or she has at least some placement in those signs. your father is probably more intimidating and protective than your mother, but he may get jealous easily. he was probablt the dominant figure in your family. he’s probably a scorpio or any other water sign. if you have siblings, they’re probably aries or scorpio, possibly capricorn or aquarius too. you might fight a lot for control, especially during childhood. you’re also quite possessive of your things, but overall you also have a deep bond. even though you may argue quite a bit, you still have affection for each other, your relationship will get better with time. it could also be that your mum had an abortion for example.

📊 career

while doing your reading, I got a strong feeling that you're going to work abroad, or at least that you're going to do something related to foreign languages and / or cultures. you could possibly be good at speaking other languages, therefore you would make a perfect translator or interpreter. or maybe, you may even work as a flight attendant, you could have to travel for your job. possibly, I also see lots of writer potential in your chart; you have pisces' imagination and empathy, together with virgo's rationality and determination to achieve your goals. a perfect match! last but not least, you may even work as a healer, maybe as a therapist or nurse, or even as some sort of teacher and / or professor.

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

you may have lots of dark, edgy clothes in your wardrobe, from leather to animal prints. you could possibly also fancy velvet in your clothes. your style is mostly quite simple, but still with a touch of boldness to it that makes it look very flattering, it makes everyone stare, it stands out. as for the colors, I assume you also enjoy wearing darker shades, from dark blue, purple, burgundy… to just directly black. you could possibly be fond of total-black fits too.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life, the focus was on yourself. maybe, you had troubles with self-esteem and identity in general. you had to work hard and finally understand who you were to fulfill your past life purpose. hence, this lifetime your focus will be on the bonds you create with others. even though at first you might feel almost scared to the idea of marriage, especially having mars in the 7th house, this lifetime you're here to develop this matter. after all, you may despise love for your troubled past. with your north node in the 7th house, you're naturally lucky in love. there's nothing to be afraid of, you only need to take small steps and open your heart to someone, putting your worries and insecurities aside.

🤔 major transits analysis / november 27th

chiron is currently retrograde transiting in your 2nd house. this year, you might have been struggling with finances; perhaps, you aren't earning much, and therefore you need to save money. or perhaps, you've wasted so much money that you need to be careful and picky with what you choose to buy. or perhaps, these issues have to do with your sense of worth; you may struggle to feel confident, you may constantly look down on yourself, and combined with your natal mars being in virgo, you may judge yourself based on your achievement. a failure could be crucial for your self-esteem. in addition, the sun is transiting your 10th house this month, therefore you'll feel very attached to your reputation, to your career. you may think a lot about what career you want to pursue, the image you want to project, etc. basically, you're probably making loads of plans for the future instead of focusing on the present.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

with your water dominance, you probably have a 6th sense. you’re able to manifest what you want if you subconsciously predict it, even though it may be hard. you’d have to get in touch with your higher self to do so, and hence I would suggest you to light up some candles and meditate for a bit before manifesting, in this way it will be way more effective. you may manifest something while daydreaming, for example. or perhaps, you can also try listening to your own affirmations while you sleep, as you won’t be consciously aware of that. it’s probably the most effective way.

and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading, let me know if you have any questions :) - libramc xx