#some people stim a lot and stim by making noise. some people prefer silence and are triggered by noise.

[tesco-finest-aromantics]

fucking hell why can't people understand that different people with the same disability will have different accessibility needs

[davenweenie]

All the Rats are neurodivergent because I said so. Here as some headcanons that might as well be canon

ND Rats for the win

Leo and Chase are both so autistic, they bond over their nerdy little hyperfixations and it drives Mr Davenport up the walls from the constant chattering of the two

Bree has ADHD that went under the radar for years, it isn’t until they all start going to school and she starts complaining about struggling to focus when Chase tells her that she definitely has ADHD.

Chase has literally diagnosed all the rats with things, he’s the smartest person alive so of course he’ll be able to diagnose people with things. I believe me and Aster came up with this hc but I’m not entirely certain who it was now.

Adam is the classic example of male ADHD, it was caught at a very early age. Davenport always uses it to excuse Adam’s behaviours towards Chase. Adam is always confused about that though because ‘no, I actually meant to punch him, it wasn’t an accident’

Leo is actually AuDHD (unofficial term for a person who is both autistic and has ADHD) which means he never stops running his mouth. Chase grows to appreciate the silences being filled in the lab for once.

Bree never stops moving, often times she’s super speeding whatever stim she’s doing at that time. As a kid she would super jump over and over again until she was physically stopped because the dust she was kicking up would make Chase get itchy and sneezy.

Chase doesn’t stim openly because Mr Davenport once told him he looked like an idiot. (He didn’t actually say idiot, the word actually begins with an R and it’s a slur I refuse to say even though I’m autistic)

Adam really struggles at school, Chase used to make fun of him until he realised that Adam was genuinely really struggling badly. He not tries to help him study and do his homework, sometimes he actually just does his homework if Adam is having a bad day.

Bree is constantly bullied for being the ‘weird’ girl, she tries to fit in by copying outfits she sees in magazines. Adam picks up on it, miraculously, and tells her that she looks really boring now.

Adam matches outfits with Bree to make her feel less self conscious. It helps a lot and Adam actually really likes matching outfits with his sister. Bree really enjoys it too. BRING BACK OUR WONDERFUL WEIRD GIRL BREE. I hate LREF for changing her entire weird girl personality.

Chase genuinely just can’t dress himself. His outfits always clash and he just can’t figure out how to pair things together. Tasha takes him shopping and matched all his outfits for him which helps him get an idea of what matches and what doesn’t. He really loves his new mum. (I cannot say ‘mom’ it genuinely pains me)

Leo introduces Chase to the concept of safe foods when Chase freaked out over the texture of some food in his lunch at school. Chase has so many non-perishable snacks in his locker for days that he’s struggling.

Leo also has so many snacks in his locker, Adam and Bree are always stealing food from both of them.

Chase had a huge meltdown at school when he got overstimulated by all the noise. They had been on a mission the night prior that involved a lot of loud noises from an explosion and school the next day just completely threw him over the edge. His siblings found him huddled in the corner of a janitors closet and that’s when they decided to force Mr Davenport to make Chase some bionic noise cancelling headphones.

Leo is the only person allowed into their capsules, he typically only goes in them if he’s feeling overstimulated because they’re soundproof and noise cancelling. He prefers Chase’s one over Adam and Bree’s because it doesn’t have a strong smell to it. Bree’s one always smells of perfume and Adam’s smells like sweaty teen boy mixed with Lynx body spray. (I recently found out that Lynx is called Axe in the US)

Chase loves physical affection which often gives him imposter syndrome because it makes him think he’s faking being autistic. It isn’t until Leo tells him that he’s the same way that Chase understands how diverse autism is. Of course he knows it’s a spectrum but sometimes he just gets all up in his head about it.

The Rats aren’t really friends with other people. They hang out with each other and don’t stray too far away. They got even more uncomfortable having other friends after the Marcus incident.

Marcus was the first person that didn’t call them weird after their first interaction. Chase was so upset when Marcus betrayed them because he thought someone finally wanted to be his friend. Plus the fact that Marcus nearly killed his brother.

Chase is easily manipulated because he’s autistic. He finds it hard to read people and know if they have ulterior motives.

Adam is very open about having ADHD, Bree mentions it in passing sometimes whereas Chase isn’t very open about being autistic. He was bullied heavily in high school for it and he isn’t prepared for the media to bully him too. At least at school he could escape it when he came home, he doesn’t think he could cope if it was all online 24/7.

Kaz is so excited to find out Chase is autistic, he then very excitedly tells Chase that Oliver is autistic too. Chase is enamoured at how someone is so happy that another person is autistic. It makes him feel really good about himself.

Chase and Kaz get on better than Bree would have expected considering Kaz has ADHD and is very loud. Chase appreciates having someone that understands his sensory issues because Kaz does get it. Kaz will be quiet if he notices Chase is having a hard time dealing with his super senses that day.

The reason Chase loves hanging out in all the labs is because they’re all underground and quiet. Of course there are still some noises that normal people wouldn’t hear but it’s much less than the ones above ground.

This has been very fun to write. Lmk if you want more and of course you can send in ideas or headcanons to discuss.

[roseluwakcoffee]

Apparently I have autism so now Kyoko has autism. Sorry I don't make the rules, I just enforce them

Assorted Kyoko headcanons below:

(Sorry for the double-bullet point formatting. Tumblr refuses to put Regular spaces between bullet points and it would be hard to read otherwise)

        

First of all Kyoko has no idea she has autism until she's an adult. I don't think her grandfather even considered it when she was younger

        

Since she lived with him since she was 6, her special interest is in detective work. She also genuinely loves mystery stories outside of that

        

Also she says she’s secretly passionate about coffee, which she must’ve picked up from her grandfather. She probably has particular brands she prefers and has her own coffee maker because it’s her lifeblood, and can give a full analysis on whatever cup she tries if you ask

        

I can’t confirm but it seems like Kyoko doesn't have any friends at the all-girls school outside of Yui in DRK when she's 13, so yeah. Probably kept to herself for most of her time in school as a kid because she wasn't encouraged to make friends, and her main focus was on becoming a detective

        

This definitely leads to her talking to everyone like they're an adult coworker, regardless of age

        

When she first joins Hope’s Peak she barely speaks to anyone unless prompted to. Multiple students probably think Kyoko dislikes them because of that and how direct her responses can be, but she warms up to the rest of the class over the course of the months and some mandatory group activities

        

And she doesn’t like small talk, like she says in-game. I feel like she was raised thinking there had to be a clear point to conversations, and gets actively frustrated/confused when people try to talk to her about meaningless things

        

Even though she came to Hope’s Peak just to settle things with Jin, she avoids him like the plague and barely speaks to him the whole first year. Every time she considers it she realizes that’s a lot of emotional baggage and does not know how to deal with it, so avoids it entirely instead. During the break she has more time to think and over the course of the second year, they're on speaking terms

        

She stims without really knowing it. When her hands are free she's either fiddling with her braid, her sleeves, or thumbing over the studs on her gloves. She also bounces her leg sometimes if she's working at her desk

        

And her hands. First of all in DRK it does say her nerves weren't damaged, luckily. But look with how scarred they still visibly are in DR1 and the fact that she was caught in a literal explosion I call BS. I imagine there's some permanent damage and the gloves help deal with the sensitivity

        

She probably deals with random pains and involuntary movements that get better over the years, but still deal with occasionally dropping/knocking over things

        

She can do most things fine, but writing can be difficult/painful. She still feels the need to take notes on anything important, so that doesn't stop her, but her handwriting is slightly hard to read unless she writes slowly. When she's older she probably figures out it's easier to use a computer

        

She hates any sort of loud or sudden noise. Just in general I think she loves being in silence and finds it comforting, but usually uses quiet music when she’s working. (Once she gets her hands on some noise-canceling headphones tho… she’ll never take them off and you might never hear from her again)

        

She really likes the dark too. Like in her own house she would hardly have the lights on when she isn’t reading or working bc she loves sitting in the void, it’s just relaxing

        

And she gets real attached to her personal belongings. She doesn’t own much but keeps the things she gets forever. Gifts are like prized possessions to her. And even with things like her work shirts, she will be personally hurt if one of them gets stained or torn. As soon as she can fix it she’ll calm down but she’s very protective of her stuff

        

She takes getting hurt or betrayed very seriously too. Even just opening up to someone is a big step, so if she trusts you and you break it the rejection sensitivity hurts bad. She’ll get very upset and shut down emotionally, completely avoiding you until she can process her feelings (Like did u see how she treated Makoto for keeping one thing to himself once she didn’t even wanna eat in the same room with him at breakfast)

        

She hates crowds and loud spaces, she finds them both overwhelming and irritating and will not hesitate to find a way to leave or step out for a while if she can. If she needs to she’ll endure them anyway but anyone who knows her does not expect her to stay long at most events

        

And she finds the heat unbearable. She will complain internally if it's anything above 80 degrees, and it probably makes wearing her gloves uncomfortable. (Also when Makoto mentions how humid it is in the garden room she immediately says it's pretty uncomfortable and leaves)

        

She loves the cold tho, like she actively enjoys snowy weather and looks forward to it every year. And in general she keeps her room at like icebox temperatures

        

She admits she likes plain cereal for breakfast already so… I don’t need to elaborate. Kyoko probably has like five meal options she cycles between but basically still eats the same thing everyday. Especially if she lives on her own I think she has no idea how to cook beyond anything w basic instructions so she’ll buy 20 packs of something premade or microwaveable and hope it’ll last her some weeks

        

Also Kyoko gets so offended when you ask if she likes cup ramen and she says the thought of it makes her ill so… probably certain kinds of tastes and smells she cannot handle(Edit: Like coriander. Whether that's cilantro or the spice is up to your imagination!). Like she mentions being sensitive to fragrances so perfumes probably give her a headache if they’re too strong

        

And I think she does the thing of always looking like she frowning slightly about something, but not because she’s upset, just because there’s always some slightly uncomfortable sensation outside the comfort of her room. Either that or a blank stare, depending on her mood

Thats it. If you somehow made it to the end of the post, congrats and thank you for listening to my kyoko thoughts!

[todayisyourturntolose]

Share pdude hcs??? 😈

ok soooo. idk if you mean one pdude in particular sooo imma do the basic ones! (p1,p2,p3,p4)

good lord it has been forever since ive been able to write down my hcs for these sillies, and i have a whole bunch so i'll put it under le cut :)

p1

-well versed in ASL, uses it in overwhelming situations

-sunglasses double as prescription lenses (i give this hc to basically all of the other dudes, but i think p1 would need glasses more than any of them)

-probably the smartest of the other dudes. essentially a polymath. if you ask him a question about almost anything, he'd probably give you a reasonable answer

-surprisingly good at drawing. does better with drawing portraits rather than full body. has a very scratchy and rough looking art style

-(technically canon bcuz of like, the war journal) writes in a journal (essentially a diary, but he'd rather die than call it that), mainly writes about his emotions and internal struggles, but sometimes writes about the other dudes and his experiences with them

-cannot go to sleep in silence. he's gotta have music on or some sort of background noise or else his mind starts to wander

p2

-physically can't stay in one place without moving. whether it be rocking in place, tapping his foot, or shifting his weight from one foot to the other, he's always making some sort of movement.

-actually pretty friendly to those around him. he just has a pretty short temper, getting easily agitated by things (or people) around him

-besides p1, probably the skinniest of all the dudes. mans is all bones compared to say p4 or p3

-champ is his emotional support animal. he's been through a lot, and champ is basically his only refresher from the hell he lives in

-strangely flexible...can slip through fairly small cracks and corners easily

-has a LOT of vocal stims. this mf meows whenever he sees a cat. he makes random noises to himself. he repeats things that he hears others say

p3

-got a surprisingly good amount of muscle on him. goes to the gym pretty often. definitely flexes whenever he gets the chance

-slight southern accent. very noticeable when he gets angry or when he talks fast. if you point it out to him, he'd probably get really embarrassed

-average r&b enjoyer. out of the blue, p1 once asked who luther vandross was, to which p3 gave an almost hour long lecture about the importance of r&b and why it's one of the best genres to date, why old r&b is miles better than new r&b, quizzing p1 on different artists, etc

-also an unironic country music enjoyer. he begs and pleads the other dudes to let him play just a little bit of johnny cash whenever he's offered the aux cord. maybe a bit of dolly parton. hell, probably some shania twain, if he's feeling bold.

-a fairly good singer. he's no freddie mercury, but to say he's horrible would be an overstatement. knows what songs are in his range, and which ones aren't. isn't really one to sing out loud in front of a lot of people, though. (one time, he sang to p1 in an attempt to calm him down during one of his moments. it worked, surprisingly :0)

p4

-one of the happiest dudes. at this point in his life, he's not nearly as violent as the others (he still has his moments, of course, but he's not one to just spontaneously go ham) and just sorta accepts things as they are

-a genre GOD. this man listens to pretty much everything. his favorite genres are funk, nu-metal (or metal in general), pop, and r&b (he and p3 bond over their fav artists)

-while champ is basically an emotional support animal to p2, to p4, champ is more of a service dog. he's getting older, which means he isn't able to do things as easily as he used to, so champ is there to fetch things for him and in general, just help him with daily tasks

-very confident with who he is. he isn't embarrassed by the things he does. he takes pride in being different.

-doesn't give himself labels when it comes to sexuality or gender. it's not that he's against it, he just prefers the idea of being unlabeled. (though, i personally hc him as being pansexual and transmasc. you go grandpa.)

-DAD BOD. a fair bita muscle, though. he's pretty strong compared to the other dudes.

-has an array of random talents. one day he'll just start juggling randomly and be like "oh, this? yeah, i picked it up a few years ago. nothing to write home about, to be honest."

--

aaaaand that's all! sorry if it's a lot, i just rlly have a lot to say abt these goobers (and even more to say abt the dudes i didn't include!)

[emeritus-fuckers]

E. Forcas headcanons

E. is the drummer of the band.

He's got big hands with very prominent veins.

Surprisingly quiet. Not just compared to the others, but in general.

He doesn't really speak much unless he needs to speak up for someone else.

He's not exactly affectionate, but he enjoys being touched.

He won't hug anyone unless asked. Someone else has to initiate the affection.

He really likes holding hands with people. Or when they lean against him. He does need time before hugs, though.

Unless it's G. He's always ready for G.'s hugs and always accepts them.

He's been friends with G. since they were kids. E. was the quiet weird kid that freaked people out and G. was the overly sensitive weird kid that everyone would bully until E. stood up for him one day.

Since then, G.'s just been around E., who simply accepted the clingy new friend.

His resting face is absolutely murderous, he has to put actual effort in keeping his expression neutral.

He often gets anxious before concerts and only G. is capable of calming down.

Doesn't like washing his hair due to trauma from his youth. G. does it for him.

While he doesn't talk much, he shows that he cares in different ways.

He carries around a bag with snacks, drinks, basic meds (painkillers, bandaids, this sort of thing) and different stress toys. Always has some pads and tampons in it as well (for DD).

Somehow he always knows what the otherss need, even if they don't mention it out loud. He just randomly hands them a snack or a drink when they need it.

He really enjoys Rubik's cubes, even if he's not the best at them. He'll solve them, but he's not some sort of expert.

Whenever he's done with solving one, he hands it to one of the bandmates so they mess it up for him to solve again. It helps him relax.

Enjoys Infinity cubes too. Mostly when he's anxious. Uses them as sort of warm-up for the drums.

G. gets him a new fancy Infinity cube for his birthdays.

While the members of Repugnant share most of their clothes aside from a few favorite things (for example the shirt Mary usually wears for performances), E.'s clothes are off-limits unless given permission. He doesn't like his things taken away, also due to trauma. Others respect that and always ask if it's fine to take his stuff. He has to give it to them personally, though.

He has the most comfortable hoodies and sweatshirts, but they're all grey and completely bland. He lets others wear them if he notices them getting uncomfortable.

He usually chills in the corner, not really taking part in most conversations. He's not being excluded, of course, it's just how he prefers it and as much as the members of Repugnant enjoy "bullying" each other, they absolutely respect his space.

He doesn't like talking about his feelings, so he just makes quiet stimming noises whenever he experiences stronger emotions. The noise he makes is different depending on what he's feeling.

He doesn't like too much attention in general. Relies heavily on G. to help him stay calm.

He likes dogs a lot. Expecially small ones. G. is usually the one asking if he can pet it, though.

G. and E. were each other's first sexual partners.

He's a total service top. Stays quiet during sex, too. Completely focused on his partner's pleasure.

The only time he initiates cuddles is during aftercare, after he's already cleaned up his partner and got them a snack and a drink.

He's gonna be just as awkward about affection afterwards, though.

He's the type of person to talk to the waiter when something's wrong with someone else's food, but he wouldn't say anything if he got a completely different dish from what he ordered.

The only Repugnant member to regularly tie his hair, usually keeping it in a loose ponytail.

Lets G. put silly hairclips in his hair.

He's got his ears pierced. Left ear has multiple piercings, right ear only has one (usually matching with G.).

His favorite movie is Silence of the Lambs.

~

Written by Jez.

Taglist: @thermodynamic-comedian @copias-fluffy-asscheeks @lunarsromantichomicide @randodummy @tuttifuckinfruttifriday

[stellar-imagines]

HEADCANONS REQUEST: ❝autistic S/O.❞

[ Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia ] [ Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Todoroki Shouto, Kirishima Eijirou ]

「Headcanons of Bakugou, Todoroki and Kirishima with an autistic S/O.」

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

♤ Bakugou will burn the whole world for you if he had to. Everyone thinks that this guy is just too loud, aggressive, and intense but he's the complete opposite with you. Of course, your first impression was that he was loud. Not to mentions, he kind of seemed like an asshole with all the name-calling and yelling he does every single time. Sometimes you think that he's just constantly angry no matter what. You avoided him as much as you could at first, not liking how loud he normally is. He's gotten into trouble for being too loud, scolded by his friends since it drew a negative reaction from you. And he actually tones down for your sake.

♤ As your boyfriend, he tries his hardest for you. He always plays it cool and confident to keep up his image but in reality, he's super worried about you. The first thing he does was to become a better person by learning about you and your autism. He doesn't want to corner you and ask you multiple questions, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable. So he decides to do his research on autism. Some of his friends had caught him reading books about it and glancing at you occasionally. It ended up with him denying it but everyone was touched to know how much Bakugou cares about you.

♤ Stimming? Man, he's somehow happy to see you do it but he makes sure that you're not harming yourself. He loves it when you’re playing with his fingers but he's lowkey insecure of his hands because it can get sweaty at times. Bakugou may not be able to comfort you with words but his actions speak volumes. He gives the best hugs and lets you play with hands and hair whenever you feel a bit anxious. He helps you explore ways to stim and ended up buying a lot of things for you. But honestly, he likes it when you rely on him to calm your nerves instead of some inanimate object.

♤ This guy never shows interest when someone is talking to him unless it was something that concerned him but when it comes to you, he listens to everything. His friends always complained about how he only pays attention to you and no one else but really, it's a good thing that he only has eyes for you. You may talk constantly about specific things that interest you and be completely unaware that Bakugou might not have the same level of interest. But no, he lets you talk as long as you want, he finds it cute that you can talk so much despite having trouble with normal social interactions.

♤ Overprotective? He's definitely an overprotective boyfriend. He literally yells at others to keep it down when they're being a bit too loud. Bakugou always has this urge to protect you whenever you're outside together. There were very rare occasions where you go out on dates and he's always on alert. The moment he sees a huge crowd, he will steer you away from it and ensure that nothing gets in your way. He's really great at getting you out of situations that overwhelm you and he's surprisingly good at comforting you. All he wants is the best for you and to become the boyfriend you deserved.

TODOROKI SHOUTO

☆ A good boy who understands how you feel. Hate crowds and sudden loud noises that make you jump and cover your ears? Prefer being alone with very few people accompanying you? Having trouble communicating with people? Yep, Todoroki understands it all. This guy enjoys his time with you, he finds your presence comforting since you understood his feelings the best. You two will be sitting side by side just enjoying the silence and avoiding noisy situations. Todoroki is quiet by nature so you never have to worry about him raising his voice all of a sudden like the others.

☆ Super honest with his feelings and when it comes to initiating affection, he always asks for consent. Todoroki is usually blunt with his feelings and he's super patient with you. On the rare occasion you didn’t catch or understand what he was saying, he has no problem repeating and attempting to make things clearer for you. So you really never have to worry about Todoroki getting impatient with you. Really, this kid has the patience of God himself, it makes you wonder what you did in your past life to deserve him. That being said, Todoroki is still the better one at communicating compared to you so he's always the one taking orders during dates.

☆ Consent is super important to him, this guy is deprived of touch for so long. His mother was out of the picture for quite a long time and his father was not the type to dote on him so you get the point. He always asks for consent before touching you. His touch is always gentle and cautious as if one wrong move will trigger you. He just loves it when he holds your hand, you instantly intertwine your fingers with his. He finds it cute how you would swing your hands while you both walk together. He likes it when you get all nervous when he asked if he could kiss you.

☆ Oh my god, this boy will get so flustered if you stim by toying with his fingers. You're just too adorable for him when you happy stim, it tugs his heartstrings. He tries to learn more about autism together with you, thinking of it as a way to communicate with you and to get to know you even better. But of course, there were things that he couldn't learn from you, he decides to read more on the internet or even ask his friends. When you stress or panic stim, he stresses and panics too. He's just so afraid that you might end up hurting yourself and feels very upset that you are feeling this way. He gives you the warmest hug and tries to calm you down.

☆ When you're info-dumping ― Todoroki likes that call it likes that ― you always pull him down to sit next to you. Todoroki can actually sense when this is going to happen and often brings you to his or your room. The two of you will sit side by side as you go on and on about whatever. Todoroki might not really know what you were talking about at first but he's listening to everything. He might not catch most of what you were saying but just seeing you look so enthusiastic and smiley is enough to make him smile. Overall, your relationship with Shouto is made of understanding each other, patience and trust. You both are a match made in heaven.

KIRISHIMA EIJIROU

♡ Kirishima knows that he can be loud sometimes but he's nothing compared to Bakugou's volume of course. He's naturally friendly and cheerful so his voice can get a bit loud sometimes. Feels super guilty and apologetic when he notices that his loud voice made you uncomfortable. He will lower down his volume whenever he's with you, keeps his distance, and ensure that you don't feel pressured at all. Doesn't hesitate to tell people around to quiet down in your presence, he knows that his group of friends can get a bit noisy. He wants you to get along with his friends and as much as he loves his friends, he cares about your well-being. Plus, his friends are nice and they understood your situation.

♡ Always has his eyes on you, like all the time! Even Aizawa has ratted him out for staring at you too much in class. But this is because he worries about you. He will fight anyone who dares to disrespect or make fun of you in any way. He never forces you to go out on dates with him. This boy is content on staying indoors, enjoy a good movie and snacks with you. But when he goes out with you, he orders food for you and asks things on your behalf. Basically, he does all the talking for you especially knowing how nervous you get. It's as if he's your father or something. Kirishima is more of an overprotective dad than a boyfriend at this point.

♡ This guy is big on affection. Though he’s really touchy, he never really initiates anything first. He knows that you sometimes have trouble showing affection back and can get a little jumpy when he just hugs you out of the blue. Kirishima has his own way of telling that he has your consent, he's been with you for quite a long time so there were the signs. Things like when your pinky brushes against his, you want to hold his hand. When you scoot a bit closer while you're both sitting side by side, you want to cuddle. This boy never forces you out of your comfort zone because he prioritizes your well-being.

♡ He doesn't really get it when you're stimming at first, he had questioned your behavior once and you told him how you're doing this to calm your nerves. Kirishima eventually finds the little things you quite cute. He slowly learns what stims you like to do when you're uncomfortable and he will be there by your side doing it with you in hopes of making you feel better. He never cared what kind of things you like to do. You were always repetitive, you always suggested the same movie and anime to watch, he was fine with it. You wanna eat [Favorite Food] again? Go to that little cafe that serves [Favorite Drink] every weekend? He's all for it.

♡ You want to talk about potatoes for over an hour? Hope you don't mind him doing other stuff at the same time. He loves listening to you while he does something else. Most of the time, he would be working out or something while you ramble about something. Different from Bakugou and Todoroki, Kirishima is more of a reactive listener. He shows genuine interest in what you're talking about. He will try to get into all the things you like because he wants to be able to talk to you about it ― plus he can see you look so excited and all cute.

Total: 1739 words Published: 25.07.2021

Thank you for requesting! ｡٩(ˊᗜˋ)و*｡ We hope you liked it! ― author Lou

Thank you for requesting it! Hope you enjoyed this! ― author Natsuki

Requests are closed! Matchups are closed!

Please do not mind the grammar mistakes and typos.

[fidgettoy]

stimulating productivity in school and beyond

Since the time between starting this blog and now, I've since graduated university. School was never easy for me, needing a lot of stimulation to focus and not having any motivation to work. I imagine this is the case for many people. So I would like to share some tips that you may find helpful now that I'm on the other side.

1. Take physical notes if you can.

Typing doesn't embed memories as deeply into the brain while physically writing does. Use nice stationery that you like to make the experience more enjoyable.

Make it as colorful as possible - if that doesn't distract you or slow you down (I bought a pack of 100 markers for example). Colors stimulate the brain and help your memory.

2. Make learning a goal and stimulate your brain yourself if the instructor or the content isn't doing it for you. For example, when notetaking, ask yourself lots of questions. What does this concept actually mean? Can I explain it in simple terms? Can I explain it without looking at my notes or book?

Solve lots of problems in the book. Try explaining it in a way a kid could understand or actually teaching it to someone else. Teaching is a great way to learn - to make sure you actually understand what's going on. And it helps cement the content in your brain.

3. Make studying physically stimulating, if you would find that helpful.

For example, I bought a mechanical keyboard and learned to touch type at a late age. It helped me do homework much faster because touch typing is more effective than pecking at keys two at a time. But also the mechanical keyboard was stimulating to my ears (through its clicky noises) and its tactile nature (they are 'brown keys'). I would recommend a mechanical keyboard to anyone that needs to type a lot and needs a lot of stimulation while doing so.

You need to make your study habits, environment, and techniques suit you and help you as much as possible. Research the psychology of effective learning, how the brain takes in information, different methods of studying and what works for people.

Try different things. It's different for everyone and what may work for others may not work for you. Perhaps you need a quiet room to study, or perhaps the company inside a cafe would help more. Perhaps some ASMR in the background would stimulate you into working better (as helped me) or perhaps you prefer silence.

4. If studying is intimidating, tell yourself it's just for 5 minutes and then you can take a break. 5 minutes is truly better than nothing. Often, once you get into the groove of things, you'll find you're too focused to stop anyway and you'll be getting things done.

If your attention span is low, you could aim to study for a reasonable amount of time like 20 minutes and take a 5 minute break after every session. Don't over exhaust yourself by doing everything at once. Schedule your rest. Schedule bouts of procrastination, if need be.

And of course, you need sleep. Sleep is when your memories solidify and without sleep, your brain can't work effectively. Take care of yourself. Any way of keeping your stress down will only make you more effective.

5. I often had trouble staying awake in class or staying focused. So I would bring some sensory toys that would help me: small spike balls and a tangle relax therapy, which is covered in bumpy rubber. I'd use them to massage my hands in my pockets while in class and the bumpy/spiky sensations would help perk me up.

If you bring a fidget/sensory/stim toy to school or work, it's helpful for it to be discreet, small, and quiet. There are various recommendations online, on this website and this blog.

Sometimes such objects are banned in school. There may be some other unsuspicious alternative objects you can use to stimulate your senses. Stationery objects can often fit this use: things like novelty erasers, pens, tape, etc.

Other objects you can use may be ones that simply can't be banned, because they are too common or simple. For example, ear bud covers, silicone food utensils, the zipper on a pouch. With imagination, anything can become a sensory tool.

Another alternative is taking what you can get. Break times. Standing up to go to the restroom. Jiggling your leg. Pinching yourself. Simple things no one can take away.

I hope this helps give some ideas on how to help stimulate productivity in your life.

[waveypedia]

The Real Deal

Ao3

Lena comes to the Nine-Tailed Diner just often enough for the waiters to know her face, but not often enough for them to know her name. She prefers it that way. The anonymity is comforting, but she knows in her gut it’s just an illusion when the waiters give her familiar smiles as she slides into her usual spot in the corner.

There was a time, before she met Webby, when Lena would scowl and duck her head away from the waiters’ friendly greetings. Where the mere notion of being noticed would make her gut churn and blood boil.

Not anymore.

Lena taps her carefully manicured nails against the smooth table as she waits, watching the cozily bustling diner. She’s not usually one for nail polish, but Dewey was just so excited when he saw the color that perfectly matched her magic, and despite her snarky exterior she couldn’t say no to Dewey’s infectious excitement when he bounced up to her with the bottles of nail polish. She smiles at the memory.

If Lena from a year and a half ago could see her now, she’d be unrecognizable. That’s not such a bad thing, Lena muses.

She pulls out her phone and quickly scrolls through social media, smiling when a picture of Webby pops up on her feed. Webby doesn’t post much, but when she does, just seeing her face never fails to make Lena smile.

The noise of the city and the harbor outside eventually fades into a calming white noise in the back of Lena’s mind. She’s used to the city. It was her home for fifteen years. But the sound of a particular car pulling up to the curb jerks Lena out of her thoughts, and she presses her face to the window, filled with an almost childlike glee.

A familiar car, light green and blocky and just as eccentric as its owner, putters at the curb. Lena can only see into the drivers’ side, but she snorts as she spots a familiar stupid-looking hat and chuckles to herself. Soon enough, a familiar face pops out from the other side of the car, looks to the corner window expectantly, and waves enthusiastically. Lena grins and waves back.

The bell on the diner door jingles, right on schedule, and Lena’s friend nearly sprints over to her booth.

“Hi, Lena!” Boyd chirps, and Lena grins.

“Hi,” she responds, significantly less energetic but with the same sentiment behind it.

Every month, Lena and Boyd meet at the Nine-Tailed Diner, just the two of them. It started one day when it was supposed to be all of the kids, but the McDuck kiddos were called away on an adventure, Violet had a school project, and Gosalyn was busy in St. Canard. It doesn’t take a genius to recognize how similar Lena and Boyd’s unique situations and backstories are.

Lena didn’t realize how lonely she was until she had someone who shared her experiences.

Boyd rubs at his elbow. It’s a nervous stim, and Lena’s attention is piqued. If Gyro said something insensitive to him again, well, he may be tall, but he’s a skinny twink, I can take him—

“Lena?”

Lena bites back a swell of nervousness and feigns casualness. “Hm?”

“How… do you feel about Webby?”

Lena blinks. “Well, I like her. You know that, dummy.”

“Yeah, but… how does that feel? You know… liking someone?” Boyd won’t meet her eyes.

Lena frowns. “What do you mean? Doesn’t everyone feel that way?”

Boyd stares at the table, lip trembling, and Lena ponders.

She doesn’t entirely know how to describe how she feels about Webby. Before Webby, it was just her and Aunt Magica. The two of us against the world, Lena always told herself, but it was always the world against Aunt Magica, with Lena sandwiched in the middle. And then she grew to hate Magica as well, like she always should have. For so long, Lena only knew hatred and apathy, whoever it may be directed to.

And then she met Webby.

And then she met Webby, and everything changed.

Webby was—is—a literal ray of sunshine. When Webby’s smiling face pops up in Lena’s view, when her bubbling laugh or high voice makes Lena’s heart sing. It’s stereotypical and cliché beyond belief, much to Lena’s chagrin, but that’s how she feels . If Huey offered her a thesaurus he must have stored in his Junior Woodchuck Guidebook somewhere (that thing has everything — it’s kind of ridiculous, honestly) she wouldn’t change it. There’s no other way to describe it.

“I… don’t know,” Lena hums. “Just… whenever I see her, I instantly feel better. It’s free serotonin, y’know?”

Boyd hums in acknowledgement, and after a moment of semi-awkward silence Lena continues.

She’s never been all that good about putting her feelings into words. She’s not particularly wordy like Huey, and she doesn’t have Violet’s extensive vocabulary (although she’s picked up quite a few words and phrases from the Sabrewing family). Not that she cares about it. It makes these kind of conversations difficult, though. But for Boyd, she will try.

“She was the first person to ever care about me,” Lena muses, fidgeting with the hem of her oversized sweater under the table. She’s had it forever. It feels like home, in the same way Webby does. “She has a special place in my heart. She was my first friend, but it’s different than my relationship with the boys, or Vi, or you.”

Boyd nods and avoids her gaze. He’s unhappy with that conclusion, although Lena can’t fathom why.

“So… by that logic,” Boyd begins, “I should be in love with Huey, right?”

Lena shrugs. It is true that Huey directly parallels Webby in their respective situations. “However you want to define it, dude.”

Boyd flexes his fingers. He’s still unhappy.

“Look, I’m not gonna judge you,” Lena says, snorting slightly and raising her hands placatingly in front of her. “I know homophobia is A Thing, but I literally just talked extensively about how I’m head over heels for another girl, so…”

“Homophobia is terrible,” Boyd responds finally. “I genuinely do not understand how people could think such a thing! How does one act so cruelly to another just because of something so trivial as sexual orientation?”

Lena presses her lips together. “Beats me, dude.”

After a moment, she adds, “So what’s your problem, then?”

Boyd’s head jerks up. “Huh?”

“You’re clearly disappointed about something ,” Lena says, gesturing with her arms and raising her eyebrows. “I know you well enough, ‘cause of these dumb meetings. I’m just gonna point out they were your idea.”

Boyd smirks, ever so slightly. “You love them, though.”

Lena looks away and crosses her arms pointedly, but allows the smallest of smiles to slip through her mask. Boyd cackles at that.

“But seriously. What’s botherin’ you?”

“By all accounts… I should feel that way about Huey. I don’t care about genders, and I feel differently about him than I feel about you and the other kids. But saying I love him, it just doesn’t feel right.” Boyd rubs at his arm.

“Hey, that’s fine!” Lena replies. “That’s kinda how I feel about labels, y’know? Webby likes ‘em, but I don’t.” She narrows her eyes and leans forward with her elbows on the table. “Is Huey pressuring you? ‘Cause if he is I’ll—”

“No! Nononono, Lena, it’s fine,” Boyd chuckles nervously, raising his hands placatingly in front of him. “If anything, I guess I’m pressuring myself. Logically, based on all accounts I have consulted, I should be in love. But…”

Lena gives an exaggeratedly frustrated sigh, making Boyd chuckle despite himself.

“Look, Pink tells me aaaaalll the time that my magic isn’t logical. Especially friendship magic. It follows its own rules, and it’s about looove and the power of friendship or whatever. So cheesy. But I guess your love might be the same thing.”

Lena takes a deep breath and leans back in the diner booth. “Stop pushing your feelings into dumb little boxes they don’t belong in. They won’t fit.”

Boyd smiles at her, small but not muted. “Thanks, Lena.”

Lena glances away, staring pointedly out the window. “Whatever. Don’t expect it to happen again.”

Boyd just giggles at that. His laughter is frustratingly infectious, and after a moment Lena finds herself chuckling alongside him.

The rest of the afternoon flits by, and for the life of her Lena cannot recall what they talked about. But their first topic of conversation, and Boyd’s worry, sits heavy on her mind for a while to come.

--

When Doctor (unofficially, shh, if the news got out that he had never finished his doctorate because of those ridiculous geese Gyro would be ruined ) Gyro Gearloose secured a job with McDuck Industries, he did not expect his precious lab would be run afoot by small children. Not even by Fenton, who acts more like a small child than some of these literal small children sometimes.

It’s almost closing time, but that has never mattered to McDuck Industries’ research branch. Even if Fenton and Manny go home eventually, Gyro has spent weeks on end in the lab. He will outlast them all.

Well, he used to. Before his team and his boss dragged him out to see the sunlight. And before Boyd.

For the record, Gyro did not forget about closing time. Not this time. He was working with that infernal little rodent, who, along with the blue nephew, had somehow wormed Mr. McDuck into allowing her to take some freelance work in the research department. Gyro’s department.

...He did have to admit that Gadget Hackwrench was frustratingly proficient at mechanics and machinery. Especially since she was so small. She was a great help to Gyro’s newest project, which required a lot of rough mechanical know-how.

Gadget, unlike the rest of them, was not incredibly self-sacrificial and actually liked clocking out when she was supposed to. She had to go home to her Rescue Avengers, or whatever they were called. Gyro couldn’t wrap his head around her way of thinking.

So they were tinkering away at the panel of the machine when Gadget glanced at the clock and reminded him of her obligations. She was packing up when Boyd came in.

“Dr. Gearloose!” Boyd, chipper as ever, entered the lab and bounced up to Gyro’s workstation. He was a bundle of energy, reminiscent of the blue and pink children. His hands darted around him like a hummingbird, never quite staying in one place long enough for Gyro’s tired brain to process. After a minute of unconsciously trying to watch and comprehend it, Gyro glanced away and rubbed at his forehead under his glasses while Boyd greeted Gadget with the same enthusiasm.

Wait. Was it really enthusiasm?

Pushing his glasses up his nose, Gyro watched carefully as Boyd flitted around Gadget, mentally comparing his movements and stims with what he knew of happy Boyd. And yes. It was off.

Gadget packed up, and Gyro slowly but carefully placed his wrench down and turned to face Boyd, leaning against his desk in a facade of casualness.

“So.”

“Can you fix me?”

Gyro pinches the bridge of his nose. “What did you do?”

Boyd clasps his hands nervously in front of him. “No. No. Nothing! I just… I know how I’m supposed to feel, but I don’t feel like that! So I must be broken!”

Gyro stares at Boyd like he’s grown a second head —- which, with Gyro’s robotics, is actually plausible. “Pft, you’re not broken. You think you could be broken?! I made you, kid. I fixed you up after Akita tampered with you. The great Gyro Gearloose does not make mistakes.”

Manny taps something unsupportive, and Fenton and Gadget both —- purposefully badly —- hide their laughter. Gyro screeches something incomprehensible at them. It doesn’t matter what he says; the point gets across.

Boyd is still staring up at Gyro, with that hero-worship puppy-dog look in his eyes that he wears so well, and he looks so scared that Gyro’s heart twists. His body sags, and he sighs and rolls his eyes and gestures for Boyd to follow. He perks up, and is immediately at Gyro’s heels with a characteristic grin, but his hands are trembling. Did he teach himself to do that?

Gyro kneels in front of Boyd, behind his desk, and stares into his eyes. Not in a symbolic way —- if he focuses just right, he can see the circuitry in his head.

Gyro purses his lips. “Everything looks fine. I told you I don’t make mistakes.”

“But—- But Lena’s in love with Webby and Dewey’s had three crushes in the past month and I don’t feel anything like that, ever! Lena says it’s fine but she’s had one girlfriend and that worked out for her perfectly and I’m happy for her and Webby, I really am, but I don’t know how to make it work for me and it must be some sort of error in the programming and I—-I just want to be a real boy!”

“Whoa, whoa!” Gyro shoves his hands in front of him reflexively. He pulls them back, out of Boyd’s face, when he processes and realizes how overwhelming that gesture could be. Boyd buries his face in his hands. “You are a real boy.”

Boyd gives him a tiny nod and doesn’t respond. Gyro’s throat feels tight and constricting, bile building up inside. He wants to say something and break the tension and silence, but he doesn’t know what or how.

“Love isn’t everything,” he says lamely after a minute. “I didn’t fall in love until Fenton, honestly. Not for real. Della said something about ‘demiromanticism,’ whatever the hell that is, and she says Mr. McDuck is the same way, but honestly I don’t really care. I don’t need to compartmentalize and hyper-analyze every aspect of myself that way. But if you want to, you could talk to her. Or the red nephew. He’d know.”

It’s weird, being this open and honest about his thoughts and feelings that aren’t inventions and blueprints. A part of Gyro is screaming at himself to close, shutter the windows and pull the walls back up and raise the prickly spikes to defend against anyone who dares get close. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t know why he’s doing this, really.

Strike that. He knows why. It’s Boyd . He’ll do anything to bring that kid’s sunny disposition back. And he knows why he’ll do that, too.

“Demiromanticism?” Boyd places a finger on his chin and tilts his head ever so carefully to the side, testing out the feel of the word. “What’s that?”

Gyro shrugs lazily. “I dunno. Some fancy way of saying I only want a relationship with people who get close to me. Which is a very exclusive circle.”

Boyd pauses. Blinks. Gyro can nearly see the wheels turning in his head. “If there’s a term for that, do you think… there’s a term for going all the way? A term for never wanting a relationship?”

Gyro raises his eyebrows. “Probably.” He reaches for his phone. Boyd could search for it in his internal search engine (proudly programmed by Gyro two months ago, since search engines didn’t exist twenty years ago, but for the record if he had thought of it Akita hadn’t had him on such a tight schedule he could have done it. For the record.)

“Aromanticism,” Gyro muses, reading out loud. “The lack of romantic attraction. Does that sound about right?”

“Hmm,” Boyd puts his finger to his chin again. “It fits! I like it!”

Gyro smiles, that soft and gentle smile reserved exclusively for Boyd (and Fenton, sometimes). “Perfect. Now get out of my lab. It’s past closing time.”

Boyd sticks out his tongue, playful. “Like you care. Don’t stay up too late!”

Gyro just smiles in response and resolves himself to not make any promises he won’t keep.

Boyd gives him a quick, tight hug goodbye. He always gives hugs, to say hello and goodbye and everything inbetween, and Gyro is never quite prepared for them, although he certainly doesn’t mind them. Gyro isn’t very comfortable with touch or affection in general when it doesn’t come from a select few people, but he never protests. Boyd is one of those “select few people”.

If today’s hug is a bit tighter and longer than usual (but still brief, since Boyd knows well how Gyro clams up with physical affection, even if it’s from him, and he respects that), neither Boyd nor Gyro say a word.

Boyd says his goodbyes to the rest of Team Science (Gadget is long gone by now) and skips out of the room. “I can’t wait to tell Huey about this! He probably knows all about aromanticism! It’s probably in his Junior Woodchuck Guidebook!”

Gyro leans against his desk, the cuffs of his shirt catching on the corners. “You do that, kid.”

“And Lena! She’ll be happy to know I figured it out, even if she won’t say so!” Boyd chirps. “Thanks, Dr. Gearloose!”

Gyro’s wry smile turns into something monumentally more sincere and real. “No problem, kid.”

The elevator dings and Boyd is gone. Gyro used to revel in the lab’s silence, but even with the background noise of Fenton, Manny, and Lil’ Bulb tinkering away at their respective projects (and decidedly not saying anything), it feels uncomfortably quiet without Boyd’s incessant chatter.

He hums softly to himself and picks up his phone to call Della before she hears about this from Huey and berates him for not telling her right away. He puts on a new pot of coffee for when he comes back, and lets Fenton know he’s going on his break.

“You know the workday technically ended half an hour ago, right? You don’t need me to clock you out,” Fenton replies, grinning. He can read Gyro like a book.

Gyro rolls his eyes and grumbles under his breath, but waves his former intern off.

As he walks out, he pictures Boyd. He would be sitting in the limo, brimming with excitement, tapping his fingers eagerly on his legs with barely contained enthusiasm. Launchpad picked him up for a sleepover at Mr. McDuck’s, so by this point he should be almost home. He’ll burst into the mansion and spill his discovery to Huey before he catches his breath, and he, Huey, Webby, and Violet will make a board and a list of thoughts and information on aromanticism while Dewey tries to catch popcorn in his mouth and Lena and Louie add snarky comments. They’ll all chime in with their own experiences and eat lots of sugary snacks until they eventually fall asleep in a pile of pillows and blankets and each other on the living room couch. Boyd will come into the lab on Monday and tell him all about it, and maybe Huey will as well.

Gyro smiles fondly to himself as he steps into the hallway outside of the lab and leans against the wall, pulling up Della’s contact on his phone. The tab on aromanticism is still open on his phone, and he scrolls through it idly, taking note of all the information and how it could relate to Boyd.

He’s not fit for this role in Boyd’s life. But he loves Boyd, so he’ll do his best. And Dr. Gyro Gearloose’s best is a feat they tell tales of.

Across town, in the mansion, sitting on her sleeping bag in her pajamas and sneaking handfuls of gummy bears behind Violet’s watchful eye, Lena shares a similar sentiment. Boyd explains what he’s learned, bursting with excited energy in the form of overenthusiastic gestures, and Lena wonders why this little, enthusiastic kid decided to choose her as a sister figure.

But she’s not complaining.

Lena sneaks another handful of gummies and wraps her arm around Webby, who makes a bright, contented sound and snuggles into her side. No, she’s definitely not complaining.

~

i wrote this almost a year ago actually, for the Because We're Family LGBTQuaranzine! (@ducktaleslgbtquaranzine) This is a nonprofit pay-what-you-want zine, with all of the money going to DirectRelief, a charity dedicated to Covid relief in countries that have been hit hard by it. I had a lot of fun working on this zine and this particular piece, and I worked with a lot of great people. The zine is chock-full of amazing pieces and really talented, skilled people, and all the proceeds go to a reputable cause. I cannot recommend it enough!

this piece is pretty close to my heart because it encompasses a lot of my favorite things - weblena, lena & boyd friendship (they have SO many parallels i think they would get along so well!), and gyro being a father to boyd! in all honesty, this was my very first zine and i was really nervous, but i had so much fun writing this and i'm grateful it was such a good experience!

a lot of boyd's confusion about aromanticism is taken straight from my self-realization process. that's some good ole projection, baybee! i didn't have anyone like huey, but it's certainly difficult to figure out what romantic love really is and how that affects you and your relationships. it's like a puzzle. it's not explicitly mentioned in the fic, but i'm autistic, and boyd is pretty heavily autistic-coded (and god i could go on for hours about that, and i have before, but i'll spare you all the tangent, although i'll happily talk about it if you want me to), which adds this whole other obstacle when figuring out aromanticism, because we struggle with social relationships and fitting them in boxes. sometimes labels feel really comforting and satisfactory, but sometimes it's a real puzzle to fit into these boxes that weren't always made for us. sometimes they fit, and sometimes they don't. it was pretty fun exploring that from a slightly different perspective, as well as putting some of my own thoughts and experiences into words.

if you ever wanna talk ducktales, writing, these amazing characters, or really anything hmu here or on my twitter! thank you for reading, and please leave a like/reblog/comment (i read tags) if you enjoyed it!

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

ADHD!Kagami headcanons

(some of these are really specific to ADHD and others are more general headcanons I have about her)

@gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights

-She’s literally incapable of caring about something a normal amount. Everything is either “I could not care less” (which sometimes includes school lectures or her mom talking, and there’s no use fighting it, she’s not going to process anything that’s being said) or “if I don’t think about this every second of the day, I will die” (and that category very much includes Adrien, and it also includes fencing)

-She has never had any impulse control ever in her entire life. If she thinks something, she’s going to say it out loud immediately. If her brain is like “hey, you should touch Marinette’s face,” she’s going to do it, and then she’s going to stubbornly refuse to regret anything

-She impulsively says some things that can be taken as insults or rude and start fights but it’s also things like halfway through arguing with Chloe she’ll be like “oh by the way Chloe, your eyes are super sparkly and gorgeous, wait where was I?” and then she’ll be like “why??? Did I say that???” but externally she maintains a calm façade and will stand by her random outburst even if it kills her

-She forms opinions on everything incredibly fast and she has such strong opinions on every single thing, even though they change a lot. She’ll hear a new pop song on the radio and be like “this song is the bane of my existence, I’ve never hated anything more” and ten minutes later the song is her ringtone, there is no in between

-She hates being stuck sitting down for long periods of time. Even just riding across town in her mom’s car is torture, she’d much prefer walking, but when she has to take longer trips (eg the Startrain, airplanes, etc.) she spends the whole ride just like “let me move!!! Let me be free!!!”

-Every single social interaction she has, she’s running on an adrenaline high, and she likes talking to people but as soon as they leave she has to take like five minutes to just internally scream because emotions are a Lot and Conversationing is difficult.

-Her RSD is so strong. Anything is an insult if you’re looking hard enough and she takes it as a challenge. Someone will be like “hey Kagami you did amazing in fencing today, it’s always fun to be your teammate, you’re so awesome” and Kagami’s gut instinct will be to defend herself because she’s being attacked, and most of the time she knows that they’re trying to compliment her but that doesn’t stop her brain from doing the thing

-Anytime she experiences any amount of emotion she’s just like “oh God, oh no, what is this, how do I make it go away”

-She’s like “Oh no I went on a date with Adrien and I still feel weird around him, what went wrong?” And she has absolutely no idea that she’s literally just feeling affection for him. She has no ability to name any of her emotions ever. In Ikari Gozen she’s like “oh no Marinette said she hates me, why does my stomach feel like this? I must just be getting too over competitive with the game again and I’m upset I’m not winning, guess I just need to calm down,” and it’s just like”Kagami, no, you’re sad about Marinette”

-Similarly, it took her absolutely forever to figure out that she has a crush on Adrien, she was just like “wow it’s so weird that my fencing adrenaline rushed always get more intense when Adrien’s around” and then she’s like “hey I think I might be allergic to Adrien’s perfume or something because I always feel kinda faint around him”

-She can spend about 3 minutes listening to someone else talk before she absolutely needs to interject

-reading is a nightmare because of sitting still. She can and will climb trees while also reading her school textbooks, and noone else understands how she does it but she doesn’t understand how they don’t do it

-*In silence for 15 seconds* “alright better start spastically snapping and clapping before I die of understimulation”

-*in a crowd for 15 seconds* “oh no it’s too loud, time to see if I can yell at every individual person on the street who’s making noise”

-if she goes too long without practicing fencing she will stim in other ways, and that includes flapping and jumping up and down. If you look at her weird or say anything vaguely insult-like her RSD will kick in and she’ll death stare you until you run away fearing for your life

-she can get completely beaten up in fencing and walk it off but anytime Adrien gets slightly injured her anxiety kicks in and she’s like “from this tiny bruise, I have deduced that you’re going to die” and Adrien has to reassure her that he’s totally fine

-“what do you mean I need to switch activities? I don’t understand what you’re saying, what are these other activities you speak of? I don’t know anything except whatever I’m doing at this current second”

-Whenever she’s hit by a sudden idea she just instictively starts tapping the nearest wall/ desk/ object, which often startles people because it’s very sudden

-whenever she’s saying something that isn’t impulsively blurted out, she has to spend a full minute thinking out her words or else she’ll stutter like crazy

-half the time that she’s listening to someone talk, she’ll just accidentally tune out without realizing it, so a lot of her internal monologue during conversations is just “oh no, oh no what were they saying?” And then she just puts on a serious face because that works in almost every context, and she just nods along

-there’s more in my head but I have to stop at some point so I’ll stop here and maybe add more later

[ne-fe-li-bata]

Aye yo CORPSE!  ...

Dead ass;

You can't convince me that Corspe was/is/does ; 

in no particular order..

• Deserve to be held ( I would smother him with my chest and hold him tighter than he has ever been held) & protected from this world

• Pyro! Mans loves🔥🔥🔥 - mostly his fav elemental  (Leo is a fire sign); “WOOO... now that’s a fire!”

•�� Loves knives/weapons- has a collection (quite a nifty 1, ay thank-a-you) & even knows how to use butterfly knives/ tackle combat.

      Has a collection of weapons (brass knuckle, daggers, swords, knives,etc.)

•  Highly interested in combat/training. Most likely has training in some sort of combat. Loves any form of physical combat < UFC,MMA, Boxing, any type of martial arts>

•  Absolute proper gentlemen / clearly has the utmost charm/cunning

      I.e holds the door open & will slap yo ass on the way in, moves you away from street side when walking, pulls chairs, defends your honor, etc.

• Takes A . L . O . T  to truly capture his attention- but once you have it ..%100

•  With his person; protective/obsessives/ possessive/ sensual/ affectionate .

              < mine is mine. me no share -like absolutely not at all>

             “ You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down for ya“

• RP'er on DeviantArt/chats had his own OC. (also prob had his fav person to RP with) 

         <prob even talked to them in MSN or private chat>

•  Watched mostly nothing by anime/cartoons (nick/CN) as a kid & also mostly watched certain shows/movies as a kid well into his teens

         (could recite quotes/scenes as second nature)

•  Not a major musical theatre type of kid. But musical movies/shows was 1 of his favs- but still highly interested/ in love with theatre/musicals/preforming arts none the less.

-EYES DON’T LIE

•’staring problem’ he’d just stare at you -deep in his head (both good & bad) you’d have to bring him back to you ..”babe- eh, come *snap*back to me. What’s on your mind my love?’

•  Genuinely a really warm person- but only to certain people, but comes across cold & distance 

•  Grew up in the internet & knows the way around the 'business' & 'faceless' YouTubers/celebrities

•  His teens/ late adolescents consisted & grew up on YouTube O.G videos/ video game commentary/content;

  Cry.. <Cry was a huge part of my life & still hold a special place in my heart. Corspe just like I was most likely devastated with the shit that went down> 

Jack

Nova

Sp00n

Jontron

Smosh

Nigahiga

Shane

Jenna

Hanna Hart

Phil/Dan

KevJumba

Ray William Johnson

Pewds

Machinima

EMT

ERB

Wassabi Prod.

VlogBros, 

-etc

• Has an oral fixating (lovebites indefinitely <like dead ass ya’ll be chillan/ out & he’d attack you> & just needs something in his mouth always)

• Fidgety af, always need to be playing with something in his hands/playing with 

•  Is a goddamn absolute certified freak--but also super soft bean boi. (can't stress how this boi needs& deserves to be protected)

• Constant hand/arm touching/stroking for comfort.

• Daddy{papi} / Mommy(mamá) . Master . Sir  kink - hard control kinks- but highly sub. 

hard(er) kinks

• Lovebites = M I N E 

obvs fishnets/ crossbody straps/ lingerie

lace

collars/ restraints 

toys

     •RP

degrading/praising

sub/dom switch

showing/proving your actually/completely & utterly his/ he’s completely & utterly yours..

& of course you know it's go time when 1 - if not both of you has kitty ears on. 

over stim 

*no touchy/ don’t let me go*

“look at what I’ve done to you”

“you kno only I can do this to you”

“look how greedy you are for me”

“look at the mess you’ve made because of me’ 

“cum on my face”/’cum for me”

“who do you belong to” / “you belong to me & only me”

100% all black clothing 🖤

*that once we get home / I swear I’ll deal with you right here, right now* look 

primal play  “when you run from me, it only makes me want you more” “you know imma find you kitten”

pet names (beast< i feel like you call this man “ (a) beast”-he about to lose his absolute fucking mind> , “oh Corpse/______, you absolute fuckin’ beast- my God” kitten, babyboy/girl, baby(e), bae, my love, lover boy, my darling, slut, needy little bitch, cum slut, lil’ whore, master/mistress, king/queen”

“only yours” “just ______” “ no-one but _____” “only____” “only you” 

‘I’ll keep you so no one can find you or bother us’

“that’s my girl” / “that's my boy”

“would you like to/ I saw----”

“look at me” “don’t look away from me”

GROWLING / talking through clenched jaw

not breaking eye contact 

     • his name & ‘Corspe’ being cried out 

“cry out my name for me baby. know who you belong to”

video/sexing/teasing 

breeding kink

voyeurism

abrasions

aftercare af 

impact play 

24/7

edging 

accidental stim; “holy fuck- I’m so turned on by you rn”

rope bondage 

begging 

worships 

•  But also soft kinks; 

MEME SENDING

head on lap/chest

naps

playing with hair 

matching outfits

voice messages 

always touching (somehow)

no space between bodies

picture taking together/ just of you

body rubs, head rubs

massages

competition 

play fighting

“this reminded me of you”

“I remember you said” “I know you...”

“you know I love you”

“I can tell by your eyes”

“ugh- I swear to shit imma marry you 1 day”

“nothing really made sense until you”

“do you wanna watch”/ “WAIT!? YOU HAVEN’T SEEN?!”

“damn- you really do love/like me, eh?”/ “you are SO fucking mine”

“that’s my girl”/ “that's my boy”

pet names/ “MY_______” “YOURS”

long stares

dates- stay at home dates are his fav, as your attention/focus is just on him 

choker/necklace/ jewelry (that 1 of you bought- NOT LIKE HIGH PRICE TAG, but like seen it & was like ‘omg ____ would so wear...’) 

cuddles with movies /anime watching time

just being in the same room/on call- even in silence 

* emojis*- just some sort of communication 

inside jokes/ puns/dark humor

seeing 1 another with kids

future kink (family, travel, etc)

playing video games 

dancing/ singing with 1 another

Sitting on the ground, wrapped around his leg when he streams/edits

Nerf gun fights 

Watching him record (tracks/editing/streaming)

•  Loves- loves surprises <like dead ass would set up a surprise date/ do a scavenger hunt for you/ surprise you with your fav thing>

•  Loyalty is everything & his best attribute (& pride) 

• The music that he make is from the soul/heart. He pit everything has has/what he has left into his art

•  No one has seen the real him - a side he truly hides

•  He's both book & street smart

           Taught himself through YouTube/Reedit/online 

•  Fav actors; Jim Carrey/Robbin Williams/Will Smith (?)

•  Man’s straight up dangerous. we only know like a  quarter of him & people fall at his feet. ( h e . i s . n o t . t o . b e. F U C K E D . w i t h) 

•  Hates silence 

         ( constantly needs background noise)  <also can't fight me on this babyboi cuddles pillows/blankets for night-night time>

•  People don't understand the pain he is in every day, unless they have fibromyalgia/GERD/high functioning (sever social)anxiety/depression/ agoraphobia 

(my mom suffers with fibro/depression <I myself have GERD/ sever social amenity/depression>& I wouldn't wish those illness on my worse enemy...)

• Over all pain has changed him

• Has dealt with self harm since a young age- most likely 9- 11 yrs old. (as someone else who’s suffered with SH for years- when you become so numb it 1 of the only ways to feel some sort of anything/makes you feel like you’re alive)

• Addiction (drugs/people/things)

•  Wrote & read a lot of fanfiction

        (most likely his main source of reading in pre/teenage years)

• Is a hopeless romantic but has his guard way up

•  Obsessed with Japan / Studio Ghibli

• Doesn't think he deserves any of the recognition/ fame he's gotten--but definitely deserves it all as he's creative & inspirational as fuck. Also he’s worked so hard for it & had put himself through so much

    Contrary is highly appreciative of those that are supporting

• Doesn't do it for the fame but for the fact he know how he's gotten people through hard time (just like those on the internet got him through)

• Was a scene boy that vibe’d of myspace/ listens to a lot of  ‘scene’ pop-punk, emo/ scene band shit (band?)

•  Also is/was a major tumblr boy

•  Would be a phenomenal father

•   His love language: physical touch & words of affirmation 

• He would flinch at touch movement but would melt in your hands

• Face caresses would trigger anxiety/ tears.. but once he’s calmed/comfortable would burry his face in your touch. neck & chest

•  Still caught up in daydreams

•  A part of him is still never satisfied even if it’s exactly to the pin point detail of what he wanted  

•  Has at least 40/50(ish) songs he hasn't released

•  Mommy & daddy issues (not saying his home life was really- really  fucked - but non the less- it certainly wasn't the best).. Also wants to protect/provide for his family (especially his sister) & was prob closer to a grandparent/aunt/uncle)

•  Definitely prefers to be by himself, as every time people come around, it's like;‘"this is why I'm okay (ish)with being alone" 

• lost an important person to him due to O.D/ suicided..

•  Also most likely to of heard his "friends" shit talking 'Corpse' or something correlated with him

•  His pride is his biggest sin (next to lust)

•  Has single-handedly defined a huge part of 2020 ( in the best way)

•  Went through a fighting stage where he was ready to fuck anyone up on a drop of a dime (middle/'high school'/street fights- possibly even under ground)

          but also a stage where he cut absolutely everyone off for a solid couple years

•  Most likely obsessed with 1 of 3 creatures; lion, dragon, wolf ( 5ish- possibly bear/fox)

•  Dinosaur obsessed 

• Internet & video games raised him

• He raised himself

Quick to adapt to surroundings/situations.

•  Mighty Morphin Power Rangers was his shit ( I CAN SO SEE YOUNG BABYBOI RUNNIN AROUND THE HOUSE IN A POWER RANGER SUIT) "IT'S MORPHIN' TIME MOTHER FUCKER"

              fav ranger- green 

•  Has up until next year planned out & is working on the next 'version of corpse' ( PR, vids, music, etc)

•  Also med/high key this man was most likely in a physcward (more than once) ..

•  This man deserves more than he'll ever give himself recognition for & knows in the back of his mind--people will hate just to hate

•  Rose is his fav flower  🌹

•⛈️🌧️. >🌞.  Loves storms/ rain & prefers them over sunny days

•  Loves the moon/stars/space (?) < observatorium dates = fuckin mint>

• Pixar/Disney lover

        <still believes- deep down in happy ever after ... but thorough an twisted yet not so twisted- simple(??), dedicated process(?)>

•  Fav Pixar movie.. either Wall.E or Toy Story 

    •  Pixar > Disney

         •  But fav Disney movie- Beauty & the Beast (?)

• Most likely had a Jackass obsession's (doing dumb hoodshit)

•  Fall is his fav season (?)

•  Horror/ thriller movies/shows over everything (obvs)

•   Had an escape place in town where he’d hide from the world- that absolutely no one knew about. 

•  Was really into graffiti/ street art 

•  Arested as a youth - but charges dropped- or was still considered a mirror (either fighting/ possession/ trespassing/ vandalisms)

• Arrested on heavier charges (also same as above - but not tried as an minor)

•  also-ALSO ... thou he feels like he owes people something. HE DOESN’T OWE ANYTHING TO A N Y O N E . His mental & well being is the most important.

•  On a side & major note. You can't deny that this man single handily is a (in my opinion) the 2nd biggest “C” that define 2020.

•  Was most likely really into skateboarding/BMX

• Late night drives/impulsive road trips & playlist/ sitting at lookouts, just in silence & touching 1 another. 

• Clingy af-.. but could also be distance & cold af- especially on high pain days. stormy brain days. PTSD episodes.

• Slow dancing/ dancing around the apartments. with or without music.

• Rocking out with each other- screaming lyrics in each other face.

• “hey baby- how you feelin” 

         *grunting* *shuffles over & lays on chest* 

• Huge comforts for 1 another;

      Especially when going out, being wrapped around him for comfort & reassurance. Even being at home alone together- panic attacks are shit, PTSD episodes are even more shit. helping each other with bathing & caring

     When he’d be hiding from his reflection- or stares just a little too long. Going up behind him & worship him (vise versa)

• He’d be your biggest hypeman/ #1 fan (vise versa)

• Would LOVE you wearing his clothes/jewelry & would love to wear you things.

Was probably engaged to his ex (that's why he gets offt when people mention "corpse wife"

There'd be days where he'd be so distance & cold.. & tell you to leave but wouldn't let you.

He'd sit in the bathroom with you when you shower/have a bath.

As he doesn't sleep most night. He'd be up just watching you sleep & caressing you.

Lil spoon > big spoon.

<more to be added>

I love you... genuinely . turly.  madly. deeply.

[kakusboyfriend]

Sdr2 boys with an autistic s/o!

Okay so I'm autistic and the lack of autistic s/o prompts out there is making me Dry inside. Lets get this bread

Also please forgive me if I write any of them wrong! I'm still learning about all of these dudes

Disclaimer! Shsl Imposter/Twogami's gender is not specified and they're referred to with they/them! It wouldn't make me comfortable to put them on this list :^)

Hajime Hinata

As soon as he learns you're autistic he does a lot of research on what autism is like for autistic people, how to help you with sensory overload, etc etc

Always asking you if what he's doing is okay! Is this too much noise? Is the texture bad? Do you not like the lights?

Absolutely not bothered when you go nonverbal; he's more than pleased to have a little bit of silence if we're being honest. He can't read sl well so he'll give you something to write on if you want to!

He loves seeing you happy stim!!! It brings such a warm smile to his face — Hajime just adores when you're happy altogether but seeing you stim makes his heart go !

He's not very good at social situations to begin with so if you want to stay at home and watch your favorite comfort cartoon/movie, he doesn't mind it!

Do you want him to put his leg on you for pressure? Hug you a bit tighter? Let you hang around gripping his arm? Mess with his hair? He's all mushy and soft about this skdnsksnj! He knows you're opening yourself to seek him as a source of comfort and it melts his heart sm

Nagito Komaeda

Oh this boy. Due to his dementia he actually relates to what you experience in social situations a lot — no, I'm not comparing this to a lethal disease. The symptoms, however, are similar to the characteristics in autistic people! So he relates to you but won't say its the same thing at all

His hair is sensory heaven. Literally, it's so fluffy! Pet it please. He craves physical affection to begin with, so it's a plus for him! He also loves seeing how much you're infatuated with his hair alone

Buys you anything that you think might be good to stim with! He helps you keep everything clean and organised so you don't get stressed over losing them, and makes sure he has at least one with him when you two go out, he would hate seeing you stressed.

If you go nonverbal he also has no problem with it at all! He knows sl and is definitively up to teach it to you if you think it would be helpful, too. If you just want to be quiet, he can be just as good of a company!

When he says stuff like threats to himself (wanting to die, killing himself) and you get worried because read him too seriously he backs off of it and says its not serious (and he's sincere this time) because you're the brightest spotlight of hope in his life, and losing it would mean losing the chance to be with you

Kazuichi Souda

This sweet boy!!! Sometimes he forgets what exactly you need, like sensory wise, but backs off really quickly if what he's doing hurts you in that sense

He also loves fiddling with things so if you want to borrow some tools from him so you can fiddle with its no problem! He might make a handmade fidget toy for you later on!

Sometimes he yells too much and that causes a sensory overload, and as soon as he realizes it he's so so so apologetic. The baby

Loves it when you play with different textures and tell him how much you love them!! Like yes!!!! He also loves different textures differently so he'll share his own favorites with you!

A PASSION FOR YOU INFODUMPING. He'll sit there, mouth agape, as he notices how adorable and precious you are when you happy stim while you talk about your special interest!!!! He just wants to know what you love!!!!!

Fuyuhiko Kuruzuyu

The sort of bastard who made autistic jokes until he met you, and you made him understand that autism isn't actually anything to ridicule. He will absolutely punch someone if they berate you because of your autism now!

His hair is short and fuzzy — perfect for rubbing! Though please don't do it too hard or fast you don't want to hurt him :^(

Can also be very noisy, but he cuts it out around you. Turns soft spoken and gentle because you can't differentiate friendly aggression x real aggression. It's super sweet but only you get to see this part of him; he has a reputation to maintain!

Usually, he's the shorter one in the relationship, so you can completely envelop him like a little teddy bear! Don't crush him, though; just hug him tight! If he's on the same height level he'll insist to be the big spoon and add a lot of pressure (not enough to hurt you) as he hugs you!

When you happy stim, he gives you a soft, warm and genuine smile. He's so enamoured with you and the happiness you're experiencing makes him so so so full of passion

Overall, he's been so rough with everyone else, but you're different in more ways than being autistic. He may sound condescending at times, but as soon as you call him out on it, he never repeats the behavior again. He's just scared to hurt you

Gundham Tanaka

Another loud little man, this fucker. You're the only one 'spared' from his thunderous introductions and speeches — he speaks normally around you. He'd rather die than hurt his king/queen/monarch of darkness

Lets his animals run all over you! Especially the very fluffy ones since you seem to love that. When they lay on you and you comment on how much you like the pressure, he lets them get around you even more!

He knows how hatred for being touched feels like — he took a while to open up to you, for starters. If you don't want to be touched, he absolutely understands and will support you in any other way until you're up for it again.

He's known for eloquent and unclear speech, but will be more straightforward for you. He wants you to understand him after all sksbsmdnn dumb bastard

If anyone is mean to you bc of autism, he will make it so they Suffer the Plague of the God Of Darkness. For real tho, he'll get really pissed off, and might use a predator to attack the ableist asshole, who knows!

If your special interest is animal he. Is. Absolutely. Fucking. Crying. You both infodump to each other until you're too tired to do anything anymore and just lay around tangled together, knowing the other understands and loves you for who you are!

Teruteru Hanamura

Doesn't make innuendos anymore when you start dating, for starters. If he's in a mood he'll just say it, since he knows it's hard for you to understand metaphors and wordplay, but is more than okay with a no.

Also loves it when you play with his hair! He misses how his mom used to care for him, and now he's so fond of you just being into him genuinely that he would do anything for him

Soft and squishy! Perfect for hugging! He's really short and can be used as a teddy bear too! Though he prefers to be the small spoon so he can feel your body lovingly enveloping his

You got a specific food that you eat and it needs to be prepared in a specific way? He's on it! And he absolutely nails it every time, its no issue for him! No matter how complicated or simple, he can make do and will be so pleased when you say its perfect!

Manages to get you out of shitty social situations fairly quickly. If you're nonverbal, he won't be able to communicate through asl, but any other way is also fine! If you're not overstimulated, he'll also give you soft hugs and sit on ur lap, resting his head on your shoulder

Nekomaru Nidai

So you're a little different huh? That's so good!!! He loves it! The fact you're not like anyone he knows makes you even more perfect to him!

He'll boast about his perfect s/o a lot! He's very loud and proud about you! The dream giant lovebug :^)

Can get a little too wild while training and also loud, so you can easily be overloaded. Encourages you not to be there when he trains with someone like owari because he knows he won't be thinking coherently enough to remember not to yell, and if roughhousing gets you uncomfortable this certainly will be worse. He's worried about you!

Wraps all over you when you're cuddling if you're okay with him doing that! Will also get you tons of weighted blankets because he's worried about how quickly they'll deteriorate dkdndkdn

If something is bothering you somewhere and you want to leave he'll just give u a piggyback ride! Its lovely to have you so close to him, also he gets to make u comfy!

Loves to indulge in your special interests if he can! You wanna marathon a show? He's on it! You wanna watch a documentary on snakes? He's already making popcorn!

Just a huge teddy bear baby. He loves you so SO much and is so filled with pride about how amazing u are!

[thechildoflightning]

Satellite

Title: Satellite

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: Background CALM/LAMP

part of the jksf verse

~

Summary: 

To put in simple terms- Logan and his sister don't talk.

To make it more complex- Well are you sure you want to open that can of worms? - Or: Logan and his sister have played the blame game for years. It's time to metaphorically clear the air. But doing so brings up a lot more than simple sibling rivalry.

Warnings: Unhealthy Family Dynamics, Internal and External Ableism, ABA Therapy and Practices

[ao3 link]

~

Satellite

It was approaching dark on the fourth of July when Logan decided to make his way outside. He and his sister had both been home for three weeks now, and neither had made an effort to really talk to each other. Not that the lack of communication was unusual, in fact it was quite normal for them. Now, nearing dusk, Logan was attempting to change that.

He opened the front door and slipped out, his headphones around his neck as an upcoming precaution against the fireworks he knew were bound to go off.

In the past few hours there had been minor bursts; mostly kids playing around with Bang Snaps and the like. Nothing large had been set quite yet, as it was still early evening and no one wished to waste the colorful bursts in a sky that was still light.

Veera, his sister, was sitting out on the deck, half-reading a book as she watched some of the children on the street race around in hyperactive excitement.

Logan carefully took a seat next to her, letting the sound of the neighborhood reach him. The kids were loud, but the space around them trapped their voices and made them seem far away. Parents muttered on decks and the faint smell of BBQ and potlucks was in the air.

Logan’s own parents were inside. When they were younger, his parents had done more to celebrate the holiday, most notably bringing them to the 4th of July parade and buying small fountain fireworks.

The holiday had always been Logan’s least favorite. The bustle of activity combined with the noise of the parade, fireworks, other activities already provided an overwhelming amount of sensory input. Add in the overwhelming smells emanating from grills, perfumes, and gunpowder, well it had always been quite a bit more that just “too much” for him. All of the excessive stimulation was truly agonizing.

As a child it had led to overwhelming meltdowns that had his parents dragging him inside by his arm telling him to behave and not ruin the holiday for everyone else. He wouldn’t even be able to respond, shutting down at the best and getting violent at worst. He would scream and shake but his parents would just yell at him and sometimes even cry, and well, it wasn’t a pleasant experience for anyone.

In result of this, he was more than happy his parents had stopped making such a big fuss out of the holiday. He definitely preferred it over the alternative.

It was during this inner reflection when the first of the fireworks went off with a loud bang and a flash of color.

Logan jumped and slammed his hands over his ears. The loud noise echoed inside his head and he gritted his teeth in a futile attempt to protect against it.

As quick as he could, he took his hands off his ears to grab the headphones around his neck. He placed the headphones over his ears to better block out the noise.

He could still hear the bangs, but they were not nearly as deafening and overstimulating as before. Logan started to rock back and forth gently as he stared up at the colorful explosions.

Veera turned to give him a look at the action, then rolled her eyes and stared back up at the sky.

Logan’s heart dropped and he stopped rocking.

The noise- which had seemed manageable just moments ago- started to build.

It was then he remembered an old conversation with Patton and Virgil. A conversation that led to research and explanations about stimming. Because that’s what the rocking was- it was a stim. And he shouldn’t have to be ashamed of that. He knew that. And even if he forgot, his boyfriends were quick to remind him over and over again, as many times as he needed.

He had momentarily forgotten that and started to feel ashamed of his stims. That’s why he had stopped rocking. Veera had given him that look and he had remembered everything he had been taught, everything he had been told to hate about himself.

He was ashamed, but he shouldn't have to be.

The noise from the fireworks continued to build.

Logan made his decision, and continued to rock.

The noise settles slightly, falling back into the manageable sensory range, and Veera didn’t spare him another look.

The two of them watched the flashing colors for what had to be hours before they started to dim. And just dim- not stop completely- even though it, again, had to have been hours. Not that he had been expecting any different, America could be quite extravagant when it came to such a holiday.

The noise had also reduced to a much more manageable level, so Logan slid his headphones off, even as he continued to rock.

Veera side-eyed him as Logan slipped his headphones off, and he decided that now was as good of time as any.

“We haven’t talked much this summer,” Logan commented.

Veera let out a soft scoffing noise before speaking up.

“Logan, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’ve never really talked that much,” she stated.

“We did as children,” he insisted, and then before she could reply to that he continued you on, “I know I’ve told you this before, but I’ve been dating someone over a year now. Patton. And he talks to his siblings all the time. And, a friend of mine, Roman, does the same.”

Logan felt a little guilty of calling Roman his friend instead of boyfriend, but he hadn’t had the chance to explain the concept of polyamory to his family, and now was not the time. He continued to rock.

“The both of them talk to their siblings quite fondly, and often. They do occasionally fight with their siblings, and get into quarrels, but they always come back to each other just as close. We don’t do that,” Logan continued.

“We don’t,” Veera agreed, shifting slightly to place her book off to the side from its position on her lap.

Logan took it as a sign that she was indeed listening to him.

“Why don’t we?” he asked.

She gave him another look, one that Logan was absolutely unable to decipher.

“You know why we don’t talk Logan,” she said.

Logan did not.

But even so, he scrambled for some sort of solution. He had no clue what she was referring to, but she obviously expected him to know- which meant he missed something vital in a previous interaction.

He rushed to locate exactly what he had missed, because he tended to miss a lot of things with other people and he couldn’t ask questions because he was supposed to know these things, was supposed to know how humans work because he was one and why couldn’t he just figure this out like he was supposed to?

He paused for a breath and took a figurative step back.

He missed something in a human interaction, something that he knew tended to be a result of his poor social skills, most probably stemming from being autistic. That’s all it was. He didn’t understand because that’s how his brain was programmed. It worked differently, and that was okay.

It was also okay to ask for help and guidance. If someone refused, that was their own fault.

“Veera,” he spoke up, “I- I actually don’t know why we don’t talk. I don’t have a clue why.”

She rolled her eyes and sighed, “Logan, you’ve always been the center of our parents' attention. They devoted everything to you. And like I get it or whatever. Mom and Dad didn't expect to have a kid who has autism.

“But that then meant that everything was about you. ‘Oh Logan finally did this!’ ‘Logan looked me in the eye’ ‘Logan’s new therapy seems to be going really well.’ They always, always, have cared about you more. And again- I get it. But it meant nothing was ever about me. Everything was always Logan, Logan, Logan.”

Logan could only slowly rock in numb silence as her words crashed over him.

The first thing that seemed to come from that numbness was anger, because plain and simple- her assessment wasn’t fair. And that made him angry and hurt.

Here was Veera complaining about him taking away their parent’s attention when he had never asked for it. She also claimed that they cared for him more even after they put him through tortuous programs that forced him to behave as neurotypical as possible. Plus, they always talked about Veera. How many times had Logan heard ‘Why can’t you just be more like your sister’ growing up.

How many times had he been compared to Veera’s perfection?

She was always the achiever, and Logan’s parents loved her for it, and hated him for never meeting her standard.

“That’s not fair,” he protested as he ceased his rocking. He clenched his hands and his fingers dug in deeply into his palms. “That’s not fair,” he repeated.

“Life’s not fair Logan,” was Veera’s bitter response.

“No,” Logan insisted, “No, no, no,” and he was choking a bit on his words now. It was getting harder and harder to talk, to just get them out, but he had to, “Mom and Dad did spend a lot of time dealing with me. But it’s not fair to say that they cared about me more than you.

“All they did was try to make me easier to handle. That’s not care at all. I may have gotten more attention than you, but you’re assuming that the attention was positive, which it wasn’t.

“And even if I was cared for more or given more love, it’s still not fair for you to be mad at me about that. Because I didn’t do anything. I didn’t ask for any of that. Our parents chose to do that, but that was their decision. I had nothing to do with it.

“And it’s unfair that you say I was cared for more. Because I was always compared to you. I was always told that you were perfect and I knew that I would never meet that standard. Our parents knew it too. And that disappointed them,” Logan explained.

When he finished he took a deep breath to center himself. He felt tears start to poke at the corner of his eyes. Weird, he hadn’t realized he had gotten this emotional over the conversation.

“I mean, sure, but if you hadn’t been-” Veera cut herself off.

Logan closed his eyes harshly as he held back tears. He may not be the best at nonverbal language and cues, but he knew how to fill in this particular blank.

“If I hadn’t been autistic,” he said.

His hands gripped tighter in on themselves, and he had to fight the urge to sit on them or shove them into his pockets.

“I-” Veera floundered. She ducked her head, “Yeah,” she admitted quietly, “If you hadn’t been autistic. A lot of the things that are issues started around that.”

“They might of started around that,” Logan admitted, as the first tear fell from his eye, “But it’s not fair to say that’s what caused it.”

“Then what did?” she challenged.

“Maybe it wasn’t me being the autistic that was the problem, but our parents inability to support an autistic child.”

“That- I get what you’re saying Lo- but that’s not- they did everything for you.”

“No,” he whispered, “No they didn’t.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, her tone taking on a startling biting edge.

“I-” Logan tried, “Have you ever looked up what autistic people have to say about ABA?”

“What? Logan what does this have to do with anything? “

“Look it up?”

She frowned at him but pulled out her phone. For a few minutes she typed and scrolled. Eventually, she turned back to him. Logan was surprised to find her cheeks were stained with tears. She reached up a hand to wipe a few away. Logan’s own tears continued to slowly drip from his lashes.

“Oh,” was all she offered.

“Yeah,” Logan said.

“Oh.”

“Do you remember when you bought me the book Seeing Stars by Sarah Gillingham for my sixth birthday?” Logan asked abruptly.

Veera let out a watery chuckle and sniffled.

“You remember that?” she asked him.

“Yes, of course,” he aid quickly, “It was- is my favorite book. I still have it.”

“You do?”

“Yes,” he confirmed. He hesitated, he looked up, briefly making eye contact with her before pulling his gaze a bit upward to look at her forehead.

“I want us to be like we were on that day. I opened the package and was so excited. And you hugged me tightly and laughed as I rambled about our solar system. After I was done, you pulled me on the back and opened the book to read the first page to me.

“I couldn’t sit still and kept jumping up and down, which must of hurt considering I was sitting on top of you. But you didn’t complain. You just laughed and smiled and read to me. I want us to be able to have that again.”

She hesitated. Logan saw her hesitate, and he knew it was now or never. He would convince her or not. This was it.

“I have a lot of resentment,” he admitted, “And a lot of that resentment used to be directed towards you. Because you could be really mean as a child. When I used to have meltdowns you used to scream at me, telling you you hated me and to shut up. And that hurt. But I get it, I understand now. And I forgive you.

“The truth is, the only resentment I hold now is towards our parents. Because they were the ones that were supposed to teach and guide us. Instead they pitted us against one another and were unable to handle us. They never scolded you because they didn’t know what to do.

“You were a child, and so was I. None of what we did had malicious intent. Both of us were hurting and we didn’t know what to do. Our parents failed us in that regard. But that wasn’t our responsibility. We were children.”

At the end of his mini speech, both him and Veera were crying heavily.

They two of them were silent cries. Silent cries because they had both learned to hide such a thing.

Logan hid it because he always cried about the wrong things. The texture of food wasn’t something he was supposed to cry about after all, he was just supposed to eat it dammit.

Vera hid it because she learned it was distracting. If she was crying it took away from Logan’s time, and Logan needed the extra help, you understand right sweetheart?

They were crying because at the age of adults they were still lost children.

“I think Mom and Dad are trying a bit more now,” Logan eventually got out as the tear tracks on his face refused to leave, “I haven’t talked to them for a while ago. And I- well I don’t think they’re ready for us to have a conversation about what autism really is and what ABA does and everything.

“But, I think they know something along the line got messed up between us. We both know something is missing. I- I think they’re trying to figure out what.

“And maybe- well maybe you should talk to them too. I- I don't think they meant to hurt us. I know that doesn’t excuse it by any means, but I think, I do think they care about us. I think they care enough to try for us. That, at the very least, is important to me.”

“God Logan Berry, when did you get so smart?” Veera asked.

“Well if we’re relating ‘smart’ in terms of brain development, the brain develops the most in the first two years of life and finally stops around age 25. If we’re talking about ‘smart’ as in over all knowledge, I actually know very little of all that is out there, and such knowledge would be hard to compare to other human beings. Plus we would then have to factor in the possible existence of aliens as well as the possibility that knowledge is infinite and therefore impossible to measure. Or we talking ‘smart’ in the way of in tune with others? Because I’m particularly bad about that too. Really, the word ‘smart’ has so many definitions and ultimately is subjective and therefore undefinable,” Logan rattled off.

She smiled a bit at him before releasing a quiet huff of laughter, but Logan didn’t think it was directed at him. She then looked back at the sky, which now seemed to be absolutely devoid of all fireworks.

“You said you wanted to talk more?” she asked.

“Yes,” he agreed.

“Okay,” she said with a nod, “Let’s talk more.”

Thinks weren’t suddenly perfect between them, and perhaps they would never be, but they had started the process of reconnecting. That in itself was worth a chance.

The two of them spent another hour outdoors, just staring upwards. Logan pointed out the constellations that were visible in the polluted sky, and only decided to go back inside once their constant yawning was too much to ignore. They gathered themselves and headed inside, quietly say goodnight to the velvet blanket above them.

And somehow, the stars seemed to glow brighter than ever before.

~~~

taglist:

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@mewithanie @eddies-spaghetti @lemonyellowlogic

[jennsepticeye]

Hi, yes, let's talk about how ADHD stigmas and what they actually mean from an actual ADHD person.

Hi, I'm Jenn, I'm 18 and I was diagnosed when I was 14 and have been taking Methylphenidate to help me function like a normal human being for 4 years.

There's a whole alphabet of abbreviations in here, so have a key

ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

ADD Attention Deficit Disorder

SPD Sensory Processing Disorder

ASD Autism Spectrum Disorder

RSD Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria

ASMR Autonomous Sensory-Motor Response

ADHD and ADD effect everyone differently. Everyone. And it's really important to understand that because comments like "well you don't look ADHD" or "but you're so calm" can be really damaging to people struggling with it. It can be invalidating and trivializes how hard living with ADD really is.

Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria, or RSD, is relatively common among kids and adults with Attention Deficit Disorders. This is basically when someone perceives an interaction negatively even though it might not be. If internalized, it can cause major depression and can be misdiagnosed as rapid cycling bipolar disorder. If externalities, it can appear as an anger disorder. Kids and adults with RSD are ultra sensitive to rejection, more so than non ADHD people. So if someone you know has ADHD it is important to make them feel wanted and be aware that externalized reactions are not ones they really have control over.

ADHD is not a childhood disorder. My brother is nearly 30 and still struggling with symptoms. Some children do grow out of it, and most do not.

ADHD people are not lazy. We're not. Not inherently anyway. If you're someone without ADHD I imagine it's hard to comprehend the complete lack of motivation that comes with such a disorder. I want to have good grades, and I want to get my homework done, but I am so easily distracted that tasks which take a neurotypical person 20 minutes will take me upwards of an hour. My brain is a constant cycle of "I'll do it later." I have a hard time prioritizing what needs to be done vs what I want to do. I could do my homework but I would rather read or write.

There are some overlapping symptoms between ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). I struggle with one of those symptoms, sensory processing disorder. Basically what that means is sometimes I get sensory overloads due to environmental factors that can lead to anxiety like attacks. There are also some sounds, textures, sights, tastes, and smells that absolutely do not agree with me. Velvet lined clothes are an absolute no go because the feel of velvet on my skin is liable to cause a sensory attack, scrambled eggs are the same way, and those phone dog whistles. Be mindful of people with SPD around you, and what triggers them.

Typically when you think ADHD you picture a kid with no filter running around the room, a trouble maker who can't sit still. And when you think stim, you either think ASMR or the ASD kid who yells all the time. There are lots of different types of stims and it's important for these kids to stim because it helps them function. Verbal stims are called echolalia. Kids who stim this way often seem obnoxious or unintelligent. They usually repeat something often, a quote or just noises. This is generally the least socially acceptable stim. But these kids aren't dumb, or unintelligent. They repeat those phrases as a way to maintain focus. If this is a stim that distracts or disturbs you, then be kind about it. Offer the person a place to work where they won't distract others, but can stim as they please.

Another stim is oral stims. These people usually chew on things, be it fingernails, coat sleeves, pencils or gum. There are several types of stim "toys" for this purpose. Rubber necklaces that prevent tooth damage while limiting and self destructiveness, like fingernail biting. Baby teething rings are a favorite of mine because they hold up well.

Tactile stims are the ones most commonly labeled toys. I know that fidget spinners now have a bad rap, but they were originally designed for people with attention disorders to stim with. But There are also other toys such as Tangles, Fidget Cubes, Spinner Rings and maze bracelets. If these appear in say, your classroom, don't rush to confiscate them unless they are more of a distraction to the students that a beneficial tool.

Tactile stimmers may also make repetitive motions that seem abnormal for neurotypicals, almost like Tourette's in nature. For instance, I clap the sides of my feet together or rub or punch my collar bone. You should only try to stop this behavior if it's self-destructive, because this is a stim that is helping that person focus

Auditory stims. I know we've all seen that person who needs music to focus, or someone who prefers silence. It can be problematic for some ADHD kids who need music to focus because in my experience I am easily distracted into singing along with the lyrics. Video game music is often composed specifically to boost concentration and I've found that movie soundtracks are a good option as well. If you're a teacher, be mindful of these students' needs.

Now lets talk about why this works. One of the leading theories for ADHD (be mindful that I'm not a doctor) is what I call the Floating Focus theory. As humans evolved we couldn't focus 100% on just one task. If we were picking berries we had to have been mindful of our surrounding to be aware of threats. This lookout side focus is called the "floating focus." In ADHD people the floating focus is overactive, which makes us easily distractable. I once spent an entire hour playing with a sequined pillow because I got distracted from some AP reading. With these stims, our floating focus is occupied on something, so we can't get distracted be something else.

(Bonus fact about floating focus: it's part of the reason some ADHDers seem to have awesome hearing because their floating picks up on conversations in quiet environments. For instance, I could be reading with my door closed and hear one parent say to another "should I call Jenn down to take care of the chickens?" And then I'll get up and head down before they've caked me)

I wanted to put this after the stims because it's not quite the same. Deep Pressure stim is another type. Kids who stim like this may wear compression shirts or weighted clothes, or use a weighted lap pad. I sleep with a 15lb blanket. This is a sub category for tactile stimming, but sometimes a useful tool in bringing someone down from a sensory episode. For instance I sometimes have my sister lay down on top of me and wearing a chest binder is a happy coincidence. They also train service dogs to do the same thing.

ADHD peeps are not always tired. The disorder really fucks with a person's sleeping rhythm, so an ADHD person might have a really hard time sleeping at night because their thoughts are really loud, or because boredom has a wild effect on us. A person with ADHD may have no problem staying up all night but they will be paying for it the next day, which is why they seem lethargic and tired. My sleep schedule is something I'm still working on, but a weighted blanket is often a great tool. (Currently premade ones are super pricey but there are a lot of resources for making your own).

ADHD people aren't slobs. Messy behavior can often be attributed to what's called "visual background-noise." Some ADHD people are messy because they've stopped recognizing the mess, it's just background noise in their visual field. Related to this, ADHD people may seem to know where everything is in their mess, which is often the cause of a reluctance to clean. If they clean then everything will be moved from where it was and they won't know anymore. There is also the reluctance due to lack of motivation.

There seems to be an ongoing commentary that ADHD people can pay attention if they choose to, and this is often said right after someone has done something efficiently. ADHD people can't choose really what they pay attention to. If something is done super efficiently is is often caused by what's called "hyperfixation" or what has previously been called "special interests." These are areas where an ADHD person can focus on a task often better than a neurotypical person. This isn't always good, especially in a case where the itself hyperfixation is bad, is not the assigned task, or if the focus is so strong that a person like me forgets to eat or sleep. You read that right. I honest to god forget to eat. I'll lose track of time and when I check, I'll have been working from 700 to 1500 without stopping.

Meds aren't inherently bad. Like I said I've been taking the off brand equivalent of Ritalin. Methylphenidate. Side effects if ADHD meds include disrupted sleeping pattern, decreased appetite and I sometimes get headaches when they wear off. Last year I lost 10 lbs because of my meds. Meds like Ritalin or Adrerall can also be semi addictive as an ADHD person becomes dependent on their effects. However, if in the right dosage and paired with other non chemical methods, meds can do a lot of good. I am completely nonfunctional in a classroom environment without my meds. This is the case for a lot of people. If you demonize treatments like Aderall then people who need them are less likely to get the help they need. I said at the beginning that everyone is different, this means that the treatments are different for everyone. Do your research and listen to your physician. Don't rush do slander a med because it didn't work for you.

[lavendermenaceart]

A Night In

Summary: You met Dr. Spencer Reid two weeks ago after literally running into him. You decide for Halloween, that you’ll go out on a date to celebrate. It ends badly, but the night is salvaged by a night in.

A/N: This was a request for Trans Man on the autism spectrumxSpencer Reid! I didn’t touch on the trans part a whole lot, mainly because I’m nonbinary and while I have chest dysphoria and consider myself trans, I don't experience life as a trans man and probably can’t speak very well to what it’s like. I am autistic though lol

Warnings: Briefly touches on dysphoria and transphobia, Anxiety, Overstimulation, but otherwise Fluffy!

“Happy Halloween!” You smiled into the phone, turning the steel ring on your finger as your heart hammered as it always did when you called most people. This was a little different than normal, as you were talking with your boyfriend, Dr. Spencer Reid.

You had run into him at a nearby coffee shop 2 weeks ago, literally. Coffee went everywhere and you remember nearly crying but he was so respectful and kind, correcting himself when he called you “Ma’am” and you told him “Sir.”

“Aw, you didn’t have to call! A text would have been fine.” You could hear him smiling through his words, telling you the call was worth the hammering of your heart and the building energy in your hands.

You waved your free hand around you, trying to expel some of the nervous, excited energy. “Are we still going out for dinner tonight?”

“Yeah, of course. I’m lucky we didn’t get a case today. Are you still alright with the idea of going out?” Spencer and yourself had talked about your experiences with being on the spectrum when he had first noticed you stimming. He always asked before dates if you were still in the mood to go out or be around other people.

“Yes! I’m really excited!” You couldn’t help but flap your free hand. The relationship was fairly new, but you couldn’t think of anyone else you’d rather be with. Especially on your new endeavor to get out more.

“Good. I’ll swing by in half an hour.” There was shuffling and the jingling of keys on the other end of the phone and took that as your cue to let him go.

You nodded before hanging up the phone, hurrying to your room to get ready.

You pulled your skin-toned binder on, the pressure relaxing your nerves as well as soothing any previous dysphoria. You took to your phone, putting on some tunes to dance to while you put on a shirt before buttoning up a white shirt over it. It was probably going to be a little chilly so you put on a dark gray jacket after zipping up and buttoning your skinny jeans.

You took one last look in the mirror before sitting down on the couch in your living room, spinning the ring on your finger and rocking back and forth as anxiety bubbled in your stomach.

You had been so lucky to have bumped into Spencer, he was so smart and understanding. He never judged you for or tried to stop you from stimming. So far in your eyes, he was the closest to perfect anyone could get.

When you heard the soft knocking on your door, you jumped up and were out the door before Spencer could say his greetings.

You weren’t excited for being out and around a lot of people, but you were excited to be spending time with your boyfriend. From the amused smirk on his face and the way he reached for your hand, he was too.

The car ride to the movies was silent, just how you liked it. When driving, you wanted it to be quiet so you could focus on the passing scenery. Spencer learned that on your first date and didn’t seem bothered by it at all. You knew some people might have seen it as awkward, but to you, it was more intimate than a conversation.

You hadn’t really gone to the movies since you were a child, but you were hoping that now as an adult you could handle the loudspeakers and the possibility of a crowded room.

Of course, you were going to see a scary movie, as it had turned out to be a shared interest between the two of you. As you entered the warm lobby you found yourself clinging to the fabric of Spencer’s cardigan. You picked up on this and made sure not to walk too fast and stay in front of you while you waited in line for tickets.

Suddenly all the noises and smells overwhelmed you, making anxious energy buzz in your head and hands. You lifted a hand to your hair, tugging slightly before bringing it back down, back up, tugging, putting it down. You tried to spin the ring on your finger to keep your hands busy and away from your head but it was starting to become too much, frustrated tears welling in your eyes.

Spencer was quick to notice. “Hey, we don’t have to do this. I haven’t even bought the tickets yet.”  

You couldn’t speak, so you just nodded, squeezing and wringing your hands. As Spencer excused the both of you from the line and all the way out. He didn’t speak, even as you both sat in the car. You rocked back and forth, taking deep breaths until the buzzing energy went away.

“Are you alright? I’m so sorry.” Spencer’s eyes were clouded with worry as he reached for your hand.

“Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault.” You wiped your eyes with your free hand, sniffling a little.

“I’m proud of you, though. We just have to build up to something like this.” You saw his face crinkle in a reassuring smile as you stared at his temple. You felt your heart flutter at his words, thinking of future dates with him.

Suddenly you could see him fidgeting with his hands, his eyes darting around the car.

You had picked up that this was how he usually acted when he wanted to ask a question, but was too afraid to ask.

“Are you okay?” You asked after hesitating for a second. You were worried you might be misreading his body language.

“Would you like to come to my apartment? Just for a movie and dinner. Like we were gonna do tonight.” He blurted out, his hazel eyes wide.

You took a couple of seconds, mulling over the pros and cons. You were a little tired and would prefer going back to your place, but you realized you can learn a lot more about Spencer by seeing his apartment. You could see all the books he likes, his taste in decoration, and possibly see him at his most comfortable.

You nodded, smiling as excitement bubbled in your chest, making you flap your hands.

When you arrive in his apartment, you could say it looked almost exactly as you imagined it would. It was small and comfortable, with dark, muted green wallpaper. There was a desk with papers and trinkets scattered across it, a dark wooden chair stationed there. To your left, there was a vintage looking orange leather chair beside a built-in bookshelf and standing lamp. Against the wall in front of the orange chair was an end table, covered and stuffed with more books.

You took your shoes off at the door, hovering over the dark red and brown patterned rug that led into the living area, where dark brown leather couch sat facing the windows. There were even more built-in bookshelves, and more books scattered in piles on the floor and on the coffee table in front of the couch. It was beautiful and comfortable. It smelled like him, but stronger. You already wanted to live here forever.

Spencer’s voice brought you back from your wonder.

“What would you like for dinner? I don’t have a TV but I have a decent laptop we could watch some movies on.” He smiled as he stood in the middle of his kitchen, which was just a couple of counters, an island, and the necessary appliances. It wasn’t in a separate room like most people’s kitchen’s were.

“Whatever you want! I just don’t like potatoes and most condiments!” You stuck your tongue out and twisted your face at the thought of the texture of potatoes, making Spencer chuckle as he got out a few pots and pans.

“I’m not the best cook, I’m warning you now.” He warned as he filled a pot with water.

“Whatever you make, I will probably love….unless it’s burnt or gets me sick.” You shrugged, sneaking a kiss on his cheek before sitting down at the couch, grabbing the nearest book and flipping through it. Its title read “A Contribution to the Critique of Political Economy” by Karl Marx. The name rang a bell but the title automatically made you feel lost.  You flipped through the rest of the piles as he was cooking, the sound of bubbling water and simmering sauce was relaxing as read select paragraphs from a few of the books that looked more digestible.

“Alright, I'm gonna grab the laptop. You can make your own plate.” He wiped his hands on a kitchen towel before rounding the island and going into his bedroom.

You made yourself a helping before taking your seat back on the couch, not waiting for Spencer as you dug in.

As you heard saw him coming back, you slurped up a noodle and chuckled. “This is good! I thought you were…” You had to pause for a second to collect your thoughts again as he set up the laptop and sat down some movies. “Weren’t the best cook?”

“Well, I’m not.” He shrugged, taking a few bites from his plate. “I just have a really good teacher. At least when it comes to pasta.”

“Oh? Who?”  You tilted your head before grabbing the stacks of CD’s and looking through them.

“David Rossi. He’s a co-worker but...we’re more like family.” He nodded, agreeing with himself as he finished his plate and set it down on the table, to the side.

“Well, with a job like yours I could only imagine the kinds of bonds you make with the people you work with.” You wondered if one day you would meet his work family, but the thought made you more nervous than excited. How would they react to you being transgender? How would they react to Spencer dating a trans man? You shook your head, spinning the ring on your finger. “This one.”

You handed him the case for The Quiet Place.

“Oh, I haven’t watched this one yet, but I’ve heard a lot of great things about it.”  He nodded, popping it into the laptop and turning the volume up and turning on captions.

You fell into a comfortable silence,  the movie interesting you but you felt more occupied by your boyfriend’s presence next to you. You reached over, taking hold of his hand. He looked over for a moment while you kept your face towards the screen before he also went back to watching the movie. As the movie went on and you felt the creepiness and horror settle up your spine, giving you an excuse to scoot closer to him. He lifted his arm so you could snuggle into his chest, red creeping into both of your cheeks as you wrapped your arms around his midsection.

You weren’t paying attention to the movie anymore, you were solely focused on Spencer’s smell, the small movements he made, the little smiles that crept across his face whenever the movie truly scared him.

You were no longer worried about meeting his work family, no longer worried about having ruined the night, you were only concerned with him and how happy he seemed in this moment. As a small hum of contentment escaped your lips and you closed your eyes, you knew you felt the same way too.

[squirenonny]

Hi there!! Wrt you mentioning about team stimming parties, I was wondering, what types of stimming (toys, materials, their own body etc) do you think the paladins enjoy the most, or get the most benefit from. It's really enjoyable image ; w ; but I know some stims can conflict with other peoples needs, so what might be someones fave might annoy someone else. So I wonder what either makes them most happy, or helps them best when needed! (QwQ Those are intense circumstances they all live in.)

I got carried away,,

Keith: Mainly tactile stims, a few visual stims

Textures: there are Good textures, and there are Bad textures, which is why he always wears his same jacket (good texture) and gloves (first line of defense against bad textures–see also my post about Keith’s gloves). In general, wet and cold is definitely Bad, smooth is usually bad. His favorite textures are (a) layered (running his finger over the wrap on his knife and plucking at the edge of a layer) or (b) ribbed (things like corduroy, or the seams on jeans and jackets that have that edge he can catch his fingernail on.)

Repetitive motions: that classic thumb rubbing that we saw in his vlog. These are typically very tiny movements that he tries to hide–he’ll rub his toes together inside his shoe or tap the toe of his boot against the floor.

Deep pressure & buoyancy: Keith is pretty touch averse, so he doesn’t seek out deep pressure often, but if he’s in the right mood a Shiro (or Hunk) Hug is A++. He also needs a blanket to sleep, preferably two or three. Yes, even in the hottest part of summer. Tight pants/shirt are soothing, and ngl he likes his Blade uniform because it’s a more even pressure than the paladin armor, which is too heavy on his shoulders and too thin/flexible where there isn’t the outer layer of armor. On the flip side, he also likes swimming because of the bouyancy. (Interestingly, he hates the feel of rain/shower water falling on him. It’s just too overwhelming. But being in the water and just floating there is v relaxing.)

Visual stims: mostly the way light reflects off his blade when he twists it back and forth and similar reflection/refraction things (light reflecting off water, mirages, the abundance of glowy things in space… he’ll sometimes stare at the crystal on the bridge for the entire briefing–completely engaged with what people are saying, just. Staring at the ceiling. It’s mesmerizing, okay?)

Chewing: rare, but more common as he gets more comfortable around the other paladins. He used to chew on his pens at the Garrison all the time, and one of the reasons he keeps his hair long (aside from not having the spoons to cut it/get it cut and not liking change in the first place) is so that he can suck/chew on his hair. He had to cut it when he first entered the Garrison, and it’s just finally getting long enough to do it again.

The thing about Keith’s stims is that they’re all very lowkey things he an do to calm himself down without drawing anyone’s attention. Probably he had bad experiences at school or in a foster home with kids making fun of his stims or his foster parents/teachers hammering “sit still” and “quiet hands” into him until he completely stopped doing anything immediately noticeable. He used to flap and run around when he was happy, but he doesn’t do that so much anymore. (It’s coming back, though, especially with Pidge and Lance being such big stimmers.)

As a result, his stims don’t really bother the others too much. Lance has a moral objection to Keith chewing on his hair in particular, and if he’s using a chewer, the sound of it sometimes gets to Pidge, but that’s it.

Pidge: visual, vestibular, and auditory stims

Spinning, flapping, bouncing: A lot of Pidge’s stims involve moving around (see the entire time Beezer was onscreen.) There’s a spinny chair in Green’s lab for the express purpose of happy spins, and the team knows to be ready for excited flapping when something Pidge is working on comes out right. (Lance has been hit in the face on more than one occasion because he likes to drape himself over Pidge’s shoulder.) Bounces in place when bored, runs around the castle at odd hours, climbs the other paladins. Very much a “I have too much energy in me and need to expend it somehow” stimmer.

Music: Pidge usually has music playing in Green’s lab–invariably at deafening levels (the bass pulse in your chest is just as important as the music itself). Upbeat songs are best, but any kind of background noise will do. Has started a collection of alien music since this laptop only has a small portion of Pidge’s library (most of the hard drive was dedicated to Kerberos research/snooping on the Garrison.)

Echolalia: Pidge is big into echolalia. (Pidge isn’t the only one who’s big into echolalia. Lance is also a fan, and Hunk usually joins in when they start an echolalia party.) In particular, Pidge will quote movies/TV shows, echo robot noises back at whatever robot happens to be nearby, and make quiet trilling sounds while working on code

Misc visual stims: There isn’t any one thing Pidge goes to for visual stims, but gradual changes (a la screensavers, lava lamps, auroras, glitter jars) have a tendency to turn into time sinks. Pidge has absolutely spent an hour staring at a screen saver without realizing it while idly musing about programming problems.

Repetitive noises: Can be either good or bad. Mechanical sounds, electronic whirring, and other white noise are great. Sudden, jarring, or grating noises are huge Nos. (See Keith’s chewing and some of Lance’s echolalia.)

Pidge’s flapping and running has a tendency to make Shiro tense up, especially if he’s not in a good place to begin with, so Pidge sometimes has to remember to stay chill or just go somewhere else until the energy is gone. Keith doesn’t like how loud Pidge plays music (it hurts his ears), but he respects personal boundaries and won’t turn it down. He’ll leave if he can, and if he has to stay, he’ll get irritated and snappish until Pidge makes the connection and turns down the volume. It’s the only real sticking point between them when it comes to stims, and they’re working on better communication to make sure it isn’t an issue in the future.)

Lance: Primarily vestibular and auditory stims, plus deep pressure

Spinning, dancing, flying: Lance loves to move. He loves spinning and dancing and big motions and G-forces. (He’s a huge fan of roller coasters and other amusement park rides.) Flying is such a stim for him, holy crap. So much so that it can become a problem. Loops, barrel rolls, sharp turns, hard acceleration–he loves the way it all pushes on his body (see also: deep pressure) and the way it makes him hyper aware of the physical sense of motion. Sometimes he pays so much attention to the sensations that he momentarily loses track of where he’s going–which is why he still sometimes crashes/sideswipes the other lions.

Deep pressure: Lance is a very touchy person in general, but in particular he loves hugs and cuddle piles. His favorite thing is to have Pidge sprawled across his lap, or when he and Hunk are sprawled on the couch in a tangle of limbs, or group hugs, or–Yeah. all of the above. Deep pressure feels like home.

Aerial dance: A combination of vestibular and deep pressure stims. Loves the muscle control it requires for the same reason he loves G-forces while flying. It grounds him, makes him aware of the space he occupies. Add to that the pressure of the silks wrapped around his body and the spinning and negative Gs as he drops, and it’s just the best.

Echolalia: Lance and Pidge can have entire conversations in quotes. Lance also makes sound effects for anything and everything (in training, while flying/fighting in his lion, while cleaning, while dancing through the halls.) He sings nonsense tunes a lot and hums both for the sound and the feel of it.

Voices: Conversation itself can be a stim for Lance, regardless of whether or not he’s a participant. The fastest way for him to fall asleep is by having the people he cares about around talking (e.g. his parents laughing and joking as they clean up in the other room, Hunk and Lance talking less and less coherently as they fall asleep in their room at the Garrison, Pidge and Keith up late during a sleepover in the rec room talking in low voices.) Lance doesn’t even need to hear the words; there’s something soothing about the cadence of it. He’ll use TV or music as a substitute if he has to, and he finds it very hard to fall asleep in total silence.

Lance is a dramatic stimmer, so it totally depends on the rest of the team’s energy levels as to whether or not they’re bothered by it. Most of the time, Hunk and Pidge will join in, and the rest of the team at least doesn’t mind. If they’re tired, though, Lance’s raw energy can be Too Much. There were some clashes early on with Pidge until they worked out a system where Lance’s cuddles didn’t get in the way of Pidge’s hyperfocus on a project. Hunk’s cool with all of Lance’s stims except when he’s in the lion/ship Lance is piloting, because Lance’s stimmy rides make Hunk nauseous.

Mostly, though, if there’s a problem, it’s with Keith or Shiro–and even those are pretty rare. Keith is mostly just confused by Lance’s stims, and isn’t bothered by them unless he’s already in a bad mood and wants to be left alone. Then Lance’s big presence can be too much. And Shiro can be set on edge by Lance’s stims for the same reason Pidge’s can get to him: Shiro’s idea of soothing is calm and quiet, and both Lance and Pidge are… the opposite of that when they’re happy and relaxed. Lance picks up on this quick and usually is able to dial it back right away.

Hunk: Taste, smell, and tactile stims

Taste: Hunk must put All the things in his mouth. Tasting alien foods/spices, yes, but also anything. Flowers. Glittery pink snow-stuff. Purple water. He did this with the Olkari headsets, so I mean. It’s canon. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. This bleeds over into tactile stimming, honestly (see: Olkari headset making his tongue itchy. He sounds so pleased by that I just can’t. I love him.) It also has the unfortunate side effect of having put him in a pod more than once because he accidentally poisoned himself. Worth it, though.

Smell: Hunk cooks to calm down for two reasons. One, it breaks him out of his cyclical thoughts and other anxious habits, giving him something else to focus on that’s familiar and controllable. Two, the smells. Some people have scented candles. Hunk has a rack of extracts. Also, like? Flour has a really bland but comforting smell? And let’s not even get into the smell of a finished dish. Cookies? Pies? Bread?? The kitchen is paradise for many reasons, and olfactory stims are one.

Deep pressure: This team is united in their love of deep pressure, tbh. Group hugs are great all around, and Hunk’s only too happy to dish them out. Always glad to be a pillow for one of the other paladins. Wears a thick vest for that extra little bit of pressure around his chest.

Tinkering: There’s something really satisfying about feeling machine parts click into place under his hands–and the oil is only a bonus, as far as Hunk’s concerned. He’ll take things apart and put them back together on an endless repeat just to feel the weight/texture/shape of the pieces. Also great for repetitive motions. See: stimming with the wires and making the sentry bot hit itself while the younger paladins were waiting in the control room in season 1.

Misc tactile stims: Hunk just likes touching things/holding things/fiddling with things. He likes to have something to do with his hands, so even if he doesn’t mean to, he’ll usually find something to play with when he’s bored or trying to focus on something Shiro or Allura is saying.

Hunk, like Keith, has a lot of less obvious stims–though in Hunk’s case it’s less because he’s trying to suppress it and more because his favorite stims are typically ambient things. Put him in a happy environment and he’ll be happy. He’s grossed out almost everyone on the team by the kinds of things he licks/bites, and Pidge gets annoyed when his tinkering turns into fiddling with Pidge’s stuff. Otherwise, he’s pretty chill.

Shiro: Auditory, tactile, and a few vestibular stims

Shiro has two modes: lowkey and highkey

Lowkey Shiro likes things to be calm and quiet. Ambient noises (air in vents, breathing, his own heartbeat) can be stims, but anything that interrupts the (near) silence is a major Sensory Bad. Deep pressure is good when he’s in this state, as is the texture of whatever chair/couch/bed he’s resting on. He’ll be hyperaware of his body, especially its weight, and he’ll run through relaxation exercises or meditation techniques to chase that peculiar calmness that comes when he’s intimately aware of himself and his immediate environment but his mind is completely quiet.

Highkey Shiro, like Pidge, has too much energy and needs to burn it off. He’ll pace or go for a run, or spar, the pounding of his footsteps/clash of his arm on the gladiator’s weapon serving as a grounding force in addition to the release of restless energy. When he can’t leave to burn off energy, he’ll clench and unclench his prosthetic hand, squeeze his arms, and grind his teeth. The repetitive motion and the tug/pressure/pull of it is soothing and helps to take the edge off the frustration/anxiety/overstimulation he’s dealing with.

The most notable thing about Shiro is that almost all of his stims are unconscious–meditation/relaxation techniques being the main exception. He didn’t stim a whole lot before Kerberos, but he does it a lot more frequently after his capture.

As he gets to know the other paladins and becomes more familiar with their stims, he starts to be more deliberate about it–he wears a weighted vest like Hunk’s a lot of the time and usually has a fidget toy with him to stim with during long meetings. Lance also entices him out for relaxing flights in the lions, because as it turns out the sensations of piloting are good for Shiro the same way they are for Lance.

Shiro’s stims don’t bother anyone–in fact, for a long time, no one even realized Shiro was stimming–but he’s by far the most likely to be bothered by the other paladins’ stims. He needs to be in control of his environment, and unexpected/uncontrollable stimuli tend to set him on edge.

[retro-simon]

I have been diagnosed with ADHD in like 3rd grade and am since 3 months officially on meds. Here are some of the basic tips that helped me.

First, it's important to know which books you have troubles with. What exactly are you trying to read right now? Do you have a problem with all books, or only specific genres/purposes? For example, I used to hyperfocus for HOURS on my favourite fantasy novels, but couldn't bear the ten page chapter for literature class, or the two paragraphs math lecture. Try to find out, what works how well for you, in order to put enough effort into it.

Create a productive environment. If you know any places, where you can focus better, try to go there. I know that the current pandemic has shut down libraries or cafes, so this option is rather limited right now. However, that doesn't mean you can't read at home. Make sure you have one place in your living space, which is dedicated to work, school or organisation. Your brain will start to associate that place with work and get (at least more or less) in the right mood for work.

Establish a routine. Not only does the right place count, but also the right time. Try to find out, when you are most productive. Some people learn better in the morning, some at noon, some at night, etc. Also, try to establish some rituals. For example, wash your face every time, before you start to read. Or chew a spercific brand of gum. Those things will also signal your brain, that it has to focus now.

Get rid of distractions. On your workspace, get rid of everything that could distract you. I know that everything might seem like a distraction, when you aren't on meds, but I cannot stress this enough. Put everything away, that you'd prefer to do right now. And for the love of god, mute your phone and put it out of sight.

Write everything down. Don't just read the text once. Read it twice. Take notes. Read it again. Take more notes. Read it out loud. Establish a structure. Quote the text. Make a flip chart. Look up if there's an audiobook of it and listen to it, as you read along. Look up summaries of the chapters. Just go wild. Try to find a way, that seems to be the most effective and write all the important information down. And remember, it's easier to write down a lot and then erase the details, than to write down a couple of words and interpret the rest.

Try out some background noises. While you should usually try to avoid noisy places, because the sounds can be very distractive, background noises could help. I personally can't focus in absolute silence. There are many kinds of background noises on YouTube. Some like the sound of rain or a thunderstorm, others prefer music (like myself), but it varies from person to person. However, if you use music, make sure it's not distractive with stuff like lyrics or a hardcore beat. Just look up "Music to study" and you'll find a few results.

Eat, drink and sleep. If you are hungry, dehydrated and/or sleep deprived, you won't be able to max out your potential. So make sure you have eaten well, drank enough water and got enough rest. Trust me, the only thing worse than trying to read a boring ass text is trying to read that very same text, but on four hours of sleep.

Drink coffee if you can. Caffeine has a similar effect like ADHD medications and will give you a temporary boost in focus. Chewing gum or other snacks help too. There are several websites listing food items, that increase concentration. Feel free to look them up!

Get up and move. If you are sitting on a book for several hours, your body will start to ache for movement. Take a break to stretch or go out for a walk (if you can). And if you have still trouble to sit still, consider stim toys. Just make sure, your stimming doesn't inflict harm.

And last but not least, if it won't work, it won't work. If you have tried everything possible to read this character, but are for the love of god still unable to focus, then you can't change that. Go take a break and get on other thoughts or if you can, let it rest completely for today. Don't beat yourself up about it, or force it onto you. That will only resolve in more stress, which isn't very productive. You tried your best today. Be proud of what you accomplished so far (this also includes other topics like chores or self care) and take care of yourself.

Alright, those are a few things I came up with. Remember that ADHD lays on a spectrum and that not every tip will work with a 100% guarantee for everyone. Those are just a few things, that help me personally to focus on tasks. Nonetheless, I hope that a few of those things can help you too!

Good luck with your reading!

- Simon

help i cant read and might* have adhd!

okay, i have a HUGE problem with reading. i literally can’t concentrate on it and when i read i just don’t process it. i have no clue how to handle it. just sitting down and reading isn’t helping me at all. i literally don’t remember what i just read. my therapist has conducted a wais-iv test on me and i apparently have a shit working memory gee who would have known? /s

so my question is: how do you read when you have adhd?

any tips or tricks? i’d love to hear them in the replies/reblogs 💖 bc i really need help 😅

i wish everyone a good day. stay safe 💖

*i am going through a diagnostic process and the therapist who has been doing the screening said that it seems like i’m right at the border between a diagnosis and no diagnosis, but that she has to talk with my psychiatrist and figure it out. i should get an answer back tomorrow