#some people might argue that she really didn't mean it or that her heart wasn't really in it

[berryz-writes]

Perfectly serious

Summary: Matheo's jealousy and want for you increases after seeing you with Theo to the point where he finally/kind of confesses

Matheo Riddle x reader

His arm wrapped around my waist, bringing me even closer to him. "Come on, let's get you to bed" Theo murmured. I looked up at him confused "I'm not drunk". My head might feel light and I might feel extremely happy and sad at the same time but I was most definitely not drunk.

"Yes you are" He took my hand and led me away from the groups of people dancing together, taking his time to weave us in and around the drinks being passed around. Everyone gave me a smile as I left, Pansy giving me a wink as we passed "I bet he fucks good. Have fun babe!" She said, her words slurring slightly, her voice loud enough for Theo to hear. Maybe if he heard it he would act on it. I wouldn't mind getting in bed with him.

We soon reached my room, the music faded to a low sound coming from below us and the lights softer than the harsh party lights of before.

"Well...night y/n" Theo said.

"You know" I started, my voice low and sultry. "I wouldn't mind if you joined me, made things more interesting. Hm?" I tilted my head waiting for his answer, his eyes searching my face. For what I didn't know.

He gave me a soft smile "Your drunk. And when drunk, your ideas aren't really your own. So as much as I'd like to follow through with your idea, it's best you get some sleep"

I rolled my eyes at him being who he always was. I wished for once he would push the boundaries. "Fine. Night Theo"

"Sweet dreams" He dropped my hand and waited for me to close the door. I could hear his receding footsteps, probably to go up to his own dorm. I was relieved in a way. Maybe I wasn't actually ready to fuck him and it was just the alcohol making me want something more. We were good friends. I didn't want to ruin that for something that I didn't really want. Chocolate brown eyes crossed my mind. Curly hair that would feel so nice running my hands through-. Something that would never happen.

*Potions the next day*

"I didn't see you yesterday" I said to Matheo referring to the party yesterday. Stirring in the crushed up leaves into the steaming potion, I turned to look at him, his eyes were icy and cold as if I had done some personal wrong against him.

"Of course you didn't. You were too busy trying to estimate your chances with Theo. Heads up, princess. He has higher standards"

I ignored the nickname that would usually make me swoon and instead my mouth opened in shock. How fucking rude of him. Was he ok?

"Are you being serious right now?" I stopped stirring the potion and crossed my arms. I could take a joke but come on. He had taken it too far.

"Perfectly serious. Why? Did you think I was nice?" He stood up to tower over me, his minty scent washing over me. His chocolate brown eyes were like daggers into my soul. It hurt knowing someone I was good friends with could switch up so fast.

"No actually, I didn't. Your just like everyone says you are. You get with a girl for your own pleasure, lead her on and then leave her with a broken heart. Your a rude fucking asshole and nothing more"

His jaw clenched at what I said, waiting for me to say anything else. I didn't actually mean it but I would never let anyone disrespect me and not expect anything back.

I realised soon how close we were. If only he were to move slightly closer, I could have tipped my head upwards and kissed him. The fact that I was thinking about that even though he had insulted me was annoying for me. I shouldn't still like him. Not anymore.

"You really mean that?" His voice came out soft, his jaw no longer clenched. As if he understood what I had said. I hesitated. Of course I didn't. How could I? I liked him for fucks sake.

I sighed "I don't know"

He sat back down as if he were tired of our argument. As if he didn't want to argue with me.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said-"

"Let's just forget about it. Ok?" I didn't want to argue either. Maybe he was angry and took it out on me. Fine. I would give him a pass just this once seen as though we were such good friends. (If only we were more than that)

He nodded his head and we worked in silence for the next few minutes. Until he cleared his throat and looked toward me again "Listen y/n. I don't want us to ruin our...friendship for something I've said so let me treat you. Will you be free to come to the diner at eight?"

I paused and raised an eyebrow, smiling slightly "Are you asking me on a date or just as friends?" Confident of me to ask but I wanted to know where we stood.

After a pause he replied with "I'd be happy with either, as long as it's with you"

I thought about my next question "And if I want it to be a date?" I asked quietly.

He smiled "I was hoping you'd say that, princess"

[phryneluvbot]

so, I basically live tweeted my (third) watch of crypt on twitter (it's the same name as in here, if anyone interested), so let me just drop everything I passed by this entire evening:

goofy opening, but where is my dancing silhouette and the 1920's godly music?

detective inspector jack robinson would like to know your location

tip: ALWAYS keep your sight on that woman, ALWAYS

I just love how phryne changed from a golden dress to a red outfit (I love it btw) that quickly, also one of her 8 languages is arabic!? MY GIRL!!

PRISON BREAK OUT FOR AN INNOCENT GIRL WHO WANTS TO SHARE THE TRUTH OF HER VILLAGE?! PHRYNE, YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN

PLEASE GET INSIDE THE TRAIN PHRYNE, PLEASE GET-

oh...

oh...

oh no... she did actually... oh my god no

OMG DOTTIE IS PREGNANT AND VULNERABLE, MUST PROTECT AT ALL COSTS (and hugh too)

(also, the only scene where we saw a part of the wardlow crew - where's mr butler, mac - HER BEST FRIEND, AND JANE, HER DAUGHTER!? COULDN'T WE SEE THEIR REACTIONS!?)

so, he never went after her... makes it even more heartbreaking

he even still saved the photos, his face showing the tears being retracted... I want to hug you so badly jack

"You meant so much more to Phryne"

OK, THAT MAKES IT EVEN MORE PAINFUL, I-

on the floor, crying and sobing

oh, aunt prudence is here (but not phryne's parents, on their daughter's funeral - I might get that most likely they have trauma from Janey and couldn't mark their presence in another funeral for their last daughter, but it would have been nice to be present and meet her boyfriend - aka jack - who is noticeably suffering a lot)

SO, YOU WERE ACTUALLY ALIVE THE LAST 6 WEEKS!? COULD HAVE JUST SENT A LETTER TO SOMEONE, GIRL-

I get it that she didn't knew she was presumed dead, that would have worried everyone she knew and loved, so it was a perfect time to apologize and show the empathic phryne we love

instead it was a "oh" and some awkard smilling

Phryne, I love you, a lot... But you can do better, and especially that you saw the man that loves you the most broken

"I came here for one thing, to farewell you. Farewell" I could hear the pain on his voice, poor Jack...

Well, this scene was iconic

"Jack, are you awake?"

well, he said he wasn't

proceeds to appear on the church moments later

and the man was murdered

and they can't leave england (my condolences)

oh, this is ending badly

"And I am sorry if I am not dead"

phryne, don't say the word "death" to that man again, he thought you died twice in the space of a few months (idk, this movie doesn't even say how after it is from the show). I understand that you might be hurt that he never came after you, I really do, but please, the poor man is still processing that he almost lost you.

also, both (still) don't know what personal space means

(kinky)

oh, so that thing is cursed and... oh, this movie is like if indiana jones was an australian detective, good to know

from the creators of "singing in the rain", we present you "almost kissing in the rain"

oh, you're going to break in his house, so you while use your old stealth black outfit like in melbourne, righ-

why. did you. chose to use. a jumper. with. your. initials. (I still love it, and the entire ouftit, I'd like one of those too please designers)

ooooh, he brought her a gift (and tuxedo jack, meow)

please, both of, learn what personal space is

oooh, they're dancing again... cute

arguing

more arguing

Palestinian man finds out that the people of the country that occupied his country are all douchebags

HE DIED, HE GOT SHOT AT THE HEART, WHY!?

Sharim, I am so sorry...

oh, those guys again... great

well, now they're going to Palestine and find the crypt of tears (OMG IT'S THE NAME OF THE MOVIE)

"I just hope she doesn't fly like she drives"

"I HEARD THAT!"

they are so married

oh, it's a mercenary... well, we're getting of quickly then

bombastic side eye

woman, why are you so hot?

Jack, she just wanted to take the gun, don't worry...

and now they have no guidance, great-

Phryne, we both know how it ends

steps on quicksand

"JaCK, I NEED YOUR HELP!"

Jack continues to not give a fuck after their arguing

"IT'S QUICKSAND"

Jack proceeds to run into her

"I'm not losing you like this, not after all the stupid ways I've nearly lost you."

"WHAT STUPID WAYS?"

Phryne, we both know which stupid ways

not saying a thing, just admiring

ok, they found one of the points of the map, they just need to connect all and boom: entrance found

damn, nice crypt

lesson of the day: don't ever trust "british" man

and it wasn't an accident, YOU MURDERED A VILLAGE AND DOOMED THAT GIRL'S LIFE, THAT IS NOT CALLED AN ACCIDENT

and of course the butler was part of this, and jonathon's father!? Ok...

he thinks he's cursed, blames everything on himself, and wants to die there so he can be free and find forgiveness from the people of the village... I hope you have found forgiveness jonathon, and that your father is going to suffer forever

goodbye sharim, we're all hoping you can motivate many other young girls and women with your spirit

Yeah, trying to shoot a giant spider is a very Phryne thing

Yay, Jack "killed it"

"It's my only fear, Jack. Apart from spending a long flight with Aunt Prudence"

omg, it's going to happen...

"You're afraid if you fall in love with me, I'll turn you into a policeman's wife and... try to stop you from saving the world." Jack, you are so wrong (except on the marriage part, she would only accept one in her own terms)

"And I don't need to marry. I just need your heart, as god knows you've already got mine"

"Jack, I've already gave you my heart a long time ago."

OMG, IT'S ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN

"For a detective you don't notice much"

IT HAPPENED, IT HAPPENED, IT ACTUALLY-

dies in excessive fangirling

THEY FUCKED, THEY FUCKED, THEY ACTUALLY FUCKED!! THE PHRACK SEX IS REAL!!

and it ends with a teaser for a sequel... that atp I think we won't get (hope I am wrong)

well, that was fun, now it's the spin off left (that got cancelled after season 2 of finished-)

[blushydrangea]

im here to ask u ur thoughts in the... pj controversy ehhekekfke i wanna say smthn abt but like i feel as if i dont grasp the whole thing yet so i chose to shut up rn

hi love! under the cut so the people who are tired of discussing this topic can avoid it.

it's a long one!

i know everyone here has likely come across the tweets pj made, but as an archiver at heart i feel the need to break everything down. screenshots aren't mine.

on the 18th, pj made a tweet about fellow drag queen and artist chappell roan, questioning the authenticity of her love for drag. most people (me included!) thought she was trolling, which unfortunately didn't happen to be the case. plane appeared to be under the impression that chappell was mean or cold towards drag queens she invited to her shows, something she allegedly heard about in boston and, according to some people on reddit so take this with a grain of salt, was debunked. she followed her tweet with another, ironically saying "i love chappell roan". the first tweet was then deleted.

after several people accused plane jane of trying to gatekeep drag from women & having an unfair opinion deeply rooted in misogyny, pj released a notes app screenshot on the 19th. however, going against the purpose of most notes screenshots, hers wasn't an apology. instead, she chose to call out the hypocrisy of people attacking her because they were calling her a man (it's important to note that pj hasn't directly told us what her ood pronouns are afaik).

she made some more shady tweets after that and argued with stans on social media but i don't feel like including these, so the last update we have was this apology pj made for her fandom.

before i speak my mind on this, i just wanna say that i am willing to discuss this as long as people are polite, any aggressive messages i might receive will be promptly deleted.

to be honest, i didn't like what she said. being a person with a platform and, let's be real, several crazy stan accounts who follow her word like gospel, it was wrong in my opinion to call a growing lesbian artist (one of the very few we have, at that) performative for her love of drag. someone who also engages in the *checks notes* performative art of drag. there isn't much of a "bag" to be secured by pretending you love drag, as it's not that mainstream, and i can't help but wonder if pj would have the same criticism were chappell a gay man instead of a lesbian woman.

misogyny is real and it's present in all of us, we were all raised to see women as less than. pj is white and male-presenting with her makeup off, she isn't incapable of misogyny because she is gay or a drag queen. therefore, it rubbed me in the wrong way to see her voice out the same beliefs i've heard from other gay men before – that women deserve to be questioned whenever they exist in drag spaces. i don't agree with the sentiment that pj meant women shouldn't do drag, as she never said that. though she honestly reminded me of those men who ask me very specific and tricky questions about the tree of gondor or whatever when i tell them i love the lord of the rings. are you a true fan?

her notes app statement was what pissed me off. she was really immature imo, ofc she's only 26 so there's room for growth, but twisting a situation you inserted yourself in to seem like the victim based on... people calling you a cis man? come on. it was a self-centered statement made by someone who seemed to refuse to take any criticism on this subject matter. i was very disappointed she chose the "but you are wrong too!" route instead of apologizing to the people she hurt.

her apology to her fandom was... fine, i guess. it served to show me that she seems to be comfortable living in her bubble.

do i think she's a bad person? no, i don't. but i do think she had a misogynistic take and doubled down on it because she refuses to admit she was wrong. i'm staying away from her for the time being, i'll probably get over it eventually but rn i don't wanna see her face all that much. no judgement whatsoever to people who forgave her and are still posting about her, it's your blog, do what you want <3

[copperbadge]

I know that it’s been a Very Long Time but do you ever get terribly nostalgic for old/less active fandoms? I confess I recently came back to tumblr and saw that I followed you. I was like, of course Sam storyteller, the Bucky guy. But then I got a hankering for my older and dearer by far love Ianto Jones and went back to reread some of the greatest hits and I remembered. You are not the Loki guy. You are the Ianto guy, to me, and I can’t believe I forgot that. I miss that fandom so much it was so fucking. Toxic. The Gwen bashing, I simply cannot romanticize it in good conscience. But the fic quality and diversity was, dare I say it, nearly unparalleled (in my heart). Like when it hit it really hit you know? A golden age of trashy sci fi indeed. I miss my dead welsh son. Sorry to ramble in your ask box about the dubious old days

Anon, I am so sorry, a bunch of my asks got pushed way down in the inbox and then I forgot they were there, so apologies this is MONTHS late in getting posted.

I, eh, I don't really get nostalgic for old fandoms. Usually I leave them for a reason, but even if I just drift away, my experience of a fandom is pretty fundamentally different from most because of my higher profile. There are things I can't do or say in a fandom that other people could, and there are things that happen to me outside of my control. They're not even necessarily bad things, just stuff like...I'll write a fic in a new fandom, and people from my previous fandom will start engaging with the canon because I did. So often, rather than just falling away from a fandom, I'll leave a fandom and drag a bunch of people with me. They might not even leave the older fandom, but they come along to the new one too.

And often the wanks that pull people in without their consent simply don't touch me because there's a portion of fandom that is either scared of me (or my readers) or just doesn't want anything to do with me. I can't determine which.

Torchwood's a pretty good case in point -- the Gwen bashing was extreme. I wasn't a fan of Gwen but what I saw from the antigwenallies was really, really gross. Still, even though I wrote fic about Gwen and engaged in meta around her presence in the show, I avoided them and thus had exactly one interaction with them ever, which was when they posted up a fic of mine as "anti-Gwen" and I asked them to remove it and never recc anything of mine again. They did, and that was the end of that. Nobody ever came to my posts to attack her or me. Likewise, there was one really, really aggressive anti-Ianto wanker, but she never engaged with me or even as far as I know talked about me, despite the fact I was a huge Ianto fan and wrote a lot of fic about him. I really hated the shit she said, but I also didn't see any value in arguing, so I left her alone and she left me alone. (I won't name her because I checked up on her a few years ago and it turns out she was struggling with serious mental health issues that she'd gotten a lot of help for, and felt really terrible about the things she'd done, so I'm actually quite proud of her. But if you know you know.)

I also just...have a bad memory, so I often don't remember what happened in a fandom, or even sometimes that I was in a fandom. Most of the memories I do have are either vaguely warm and friendly, or "avoid this fandom/person at all costs" based in a negative interaction (which I sometimes don't remember the details of).

So yeah...I mean, Torchwood ended pretty terribly so I don't miss it in part because I try not to think about it. Generally if I have a good time in a fandom and then leave it, it's because I simply said all I had to say there. But I'm usually looking forward, not back, just because the past is a bit of a fog bank for me, most of the time.

[luckystarchild]

Most of the time kuwabara's love for yukina seemed very superficial to me, I don't really know the concept of love at first sight but it clearly looked like kuwabara simply liked her because she looked pretty?! Ofc falling for a girl because she looks pretty is not a bad thing but if yukina looked more yokai like and resembled even a bit like hiei there's no way kuwabara would've gone out of his way to rescue her in the first place he might even say she reminds him of a certain someone and stayed at home.

People really think kuwabara's love for yukina is pure and selfless but there's nothing selfless about his love for her. He's nice to her because he likes her and wants to become her lover. Being nice to person you like is also not a bad thing but it does not give you the right to treat other girls like crap because they're not the one you like. kuwabara does this in the manga, anime and even in the live action.

The way he puts yukina on a pedestal and act like the other girls matter very little to him is not really a knight in shining armour kind of a thing.

Kuwabara is a not a great guy, he's just a goof ball who's a sucker for yukina's good looks. He might be attracted to her personality as well but who knows how he will react if yukina were to be rude to him like hiei?! Will he still be attracted to her?

I'm not saying that kuwabara is bad guy but he's not really the perfect down to earth good guy of the group either.

I see where you're coming from with a lot of this. Allow me to offer a few additional thoughts to chew on.

One can definitely argue Kuwabara's "love at first sight" was triggered by Yukina's looks, but something else likely furthered his instantaneous feelings for her: his psychic powers. Before they even meet in person, he gets in her head and sees her past while trying to rescue her. He witnesses her memories of her escape attempts and the way she was tortured. He gets a first-row seat into her trauma, and that triggered a depth of empathy for Yukina that turned a crush into what appears to be "love at first sight."

But here's the thing: Information and intimacy are not the same thing.

Kuwabara received a bunch of information about Yukina when he saw her memories, but that doesn't mean he shares emotional intimacy with her. Alas, Kuwabara (being an inexperienced teenage boy) doesn't understand the difference. To him, his feelings of love/like/lust + his knowledge of Yukina likely make him feel like they share a deep bond of true love.

But to Yukina, Kuwabara likely seems like a stranger. A nice, kind stranger, but a stranger nonetheless. She didn't share his memories in return, after all. She has neither information nor intimacy.

(And this take on her lack of feelings for Kuwabara is supported in canon. Throughout the series, we see her react to his overtures with confusion, not reciprocation or affection. She outright runs away from him in the final chapter when he tries to connect with her.)

But Kuwabara isn't being malicious with his feelings of unearned intimacy. To him, I'd argue that intimacy likely feels very real. His experience within her memories was real. It happened; he saw them; he felt how she felt in her darkest hour. But he's so young, and so inexperienced, I don't think he has the perspective to realize that what he received was information, not intimacy. He lacks the perspective to see the difference.

With that in mind, I don't think I can call Kuwabara a bad person, or even "not a great guy," for chasing after Yukina like he does. I think he's the beating human heart of Team Urameshi, and the most down to earth dude in the bunch. But he's still a teenage boy in the end, and his youth and inexperience led him (as youth and inexperience have led us all) to making some less-than-stellar choices. I can't really blame him for that, even if I don't approve of it.

I agree that if he'd known Yukina was Hiei's sister, or if she'd had a different personality type, or if she wasn't as pretty, his feelings about her might have been completely different. An entire "what if" fic about how his thoughts on her would change based on minor differences in his knowledge would be very, very interesting, that's for sure.

[icanbeyourgenie]

“ You're a very good fighter. Usually I win quite easily but you really put a fight. I needed it. ” – a breathless Malachai to Yasmeen while he has his sword under her throat but didn't notice that she has one of her knives right on his ribs too

Yasmeen raised an eyebrow. “Why are you talking like you just won?”

“Because I-”

She pressed her knife a little bit tighter on Malachai's ribs, making him noticing it. He seemed surprised at first, and for a second she wondered if he would be mad. But then he truly laughed, and she relaxed a bit.

They were both breathless. It was their first training session together, since Malachai was due to leave for his battle in three days. It was still early, too early for faes to be up - they always started their day late. But they both woke up at dawn to train.

“As I said, you put a really good fight. But I had my sword under your throat first.”

“How would you know? You didn't even notice my knife. In a real fight you'd be dead already.”

He looked outraged, but not the scary type. “I would not!”

“I'm in the perfect position for my knife to go straight to your heart.” She stated.

“I would've sliced your throat before you could do that. A sliced artery is a quicker death.”

“Not if I puncture your lung first and you can't breathe.”

“You wouldn't have time to do that.”

“Oh I would. I'm very quick.”

“You know what? Let's agree on the fact that we'd both die in this situation.”

“Okay. But you first.”

“Absolutely not!”

They were about to keep arguing when they suddenly realized that they hadn't move. Malachai's sword was still on Yasmeen's throat, and her knife still on his rib. Like none of them wanted to admit defeat. Yasmeen didn't consider herself a particularly competitive person, except when it came to fighting. At this very moment, they looked at each other's eyes, and they were very close, but she wasn't scared.

She couldn't point out what exactly made them burst into laughing eventually. Maybe their own pride. But it was only then that they both retracted their weapons and caught their breathes. Malachai took a step back and went to drink a bit of water. Yasmeen declined the offer when he handed some to her.

“When did you learn to fight like that?” He finally asked. “I mean. I know I had tutors, I was trained to fight since I was old enough to carry a fake sword. But I guess it's not the case for you.”

“Not, it's not.” She couldn't say the full truth yet, so she settled on half of it. “I taught myself. I'm very skilled at observing people fighting and then learning the same moves.”

“I can see that. Thank you for your offer. It was exactly what I needed to clear my mind.”

“Of the fact that you're leaving in three days for a very dangerous battle you might not come back from?” She hated these words as she said them.

“I fought worse battles.” He answered, but he did look tense. It was his homeland he was fighting for, after all.

“Let's do another round. We still have hours before anyone gets up.”

Yasmeen tried to clear his mind again and it seemed to work, based on his smile. But it wasn't a pure smile. More of a smirk.

“Let's spice it up a bit.” He said.

“How?”

“With bets. If I win, you have to..... find a way to distract the lady Euphemia the next time she tries to talk to me. She's really becoming creepy lately.”

Yasmeen laughed freely. “She wants to be queen, she won't be so easily distracted. But fine, I will try. Once. The rest, you'll be on your own.”

“Deal. At least one reception when she isn't trying to talk to me will be peaceful enough. What's your price if you win.”

Yasmeen thought this through for a second. There was many things she could ask from Malachai. After all, he was a prince, and an heir. He could get away with a lot of things. Maybe she could ask him to punch Aeron, or Rhysand, or better - Aldris. That psychopath wouldn't be able to fight back, it would get his ego in check. But it's not what she asked.

“If I win,” She said after a time. “I want you to come back. In one piece.”

He looked at her with an intensity that she couldn't decipher, but she didn't look away. They stayed silent for a while. They often did that, the silent didn't scare them. Yasmeen knew he couldn't truly promise that. It wasn't entirely up to him. But when he nodded and whispered “Deal.”, she believed him. And so she picked up her knives, ready to win the other round.

[arcplaysgames]

Haru literally has the best persona, don't even play.

OKAY lets get caught up to where I am right now so I can close this bitch out and figure out how justified my ire at the ending is or not.

Not to repeat a complaint but I am extremely disappointed with the Mementos Depths as an area. It's all just.... what am I even looking at? What is this shit.

Anyway, the crew finally makes it to the bottom, to where the Treasure is.

The Treasure at the heart of the world is the Holy Grail, and it is surrounded by imprisoned worshippers who scream and cry when the Thieves attack it, and through their desire for the Grail, they give it more and more power.

So it's the Midnight Channel.

I'm not actually trying to be flip, trust me, but the degree to which this is just a retread of P4G is kind of weird.

Anyway, after a short pointless fight where the prisoners keep restoring the Grail's health when we try to destroy it, the Grail itself claims it's time for "fusion."

The skeletal structure of Mementos fuses into reality, bringing the cognitive world in to overlap with the real world. Notably, no one seems to notice the change except the Thieves and their allies.

Because the Grail is able to manifest the desires of everyone into cognitive reality, it decides that no one believes in the Phantom Thieves, and so everyone dissolves while thE FUCKING PHANSITE METER DROPS TO ZERO

MISHIMA YOU PRICKLY PRICK YOU'VE BURIED US ALL

How much of this could have been avoided if Reverie really did find Mishima's laptop and thrown it out the fucking window way back when I said? Everything, I bet.

The "rehabilitation" has "failed" so Reverie is sentenced to death by Notigor. But given the prison we just went through, I am pretty sure rehabilitation would have been Super Bad, so.

FINALLY the twins have had enough of this shit and are like "um, no we think killing our charge might be bad actually, what is up with you" and as they argue with each other, they figure out the truth.

LMAO I FUCKING KNEW WE'D END UP FUSING THE TWINS BACK INTO ONE.

Her name is Lavenza, the true Velvet Room attendant. She was torn by a malicious actor to prevent her from seeing that Igor was an imposter.

YEAH NO SHIT

bitch fuck all the way off, i wouldn't even split a brunch check with you, get your ass outta here and gimme back igor

it ain't even an interesting deal like the one with Adachi, you are such a poser

i'm so fucking happy your back igor i missed you so fucking much you don't even know, man, they had me chained up and were always threatening me with electric rods and no one was polite or hospitable and we were CHOPPING OFF PERSONAE HEADS to do fusions it was so fucked up igor i missed you you weird old man can you do a tarot reading for me and do a When Will I Stop Crying draw for me

i love you igor sob

out of universe note: how fucking fiendishly clever was it to use the "oop, our original VA sadly passed away" out to put in place a decoy igor who clearly wasn't the same dude at all but given the doylist reason for why he was so difference, maybe some people didn't get the twist, idk. how many people fell for the trick, i have no idea.

i mean i didn't because the velvet room was Uber Fucked from the second Reverie arrived but was it obvious to other folks?????

[beantothemax]

"She's late."

For ten minutes, the scholar had been pacing around the entire house. She could be lost, beaten to a pulp or in detention!

Anyone who was heartless enough to hurt such a precious girl would not live to see another day, Osvald would make sure of that.

"She's fine," Rita laughed.

"You don't know that! If she acts anything like I did on my first day of school then she's gonna come home with a bloody nose and rose thorns in her arms! And she does act just like me!" Osvald argued.

Rita stood. She took his hands in her own with a smile.

"Listen darling, if anything happens then we can homeschool her," she said, "but she'll be fine, I'm friends with most of her classmates' parents and they're all lovely people with well behaved kids."

"Gods, I hope you're right," Osvald muttered.

"And if anyone hurts her, I'll make them regret ever even approaching her. They didn't call me the queen of Montwise arena for nothing!" she laughed.

Osvald chuckled at the thought.

The tension left his shoulders as Rita lit the stove. She certainly wasn't a master, but she knew enough fire magic that she never had to ask Osvald for help while cooking. Setting a kettle to boil, she sat across from him.

"Really, what's the worst that could happen to Elena? It's the first day, no one has any long lasting resentment towards her, at least not yet," Rita smiled.

Osvald thought of how he'd come home with a bruised face and broken arm on his first day of school. His parents were furious with the teachers, and decided that from then on, he'd be homeschooled. The tutor they hired was an excellent teacher, but it resulted in his social skills leaving something to be desired.

He dismissed the thought. Kids were worse back then. Nowadays, parents taught their kids to be kind practically straight out of the womb!

"I suppose that's true," he said.

They talked a while longer, until Rita noticed the high pitched scream of the kettle. She added two tea bags before setting it on the table, along with tea cups and saucers.

She poured a cup of tea for each of them. Osvald blowed on his cup, before carefully taking a sip.

Gods, Rita's homemade tea was divine.

He drank more, quickly downing the cup.

As they made their way through the pot, the door opened.

"Bye Sara!" Elena yelled.

"Bye Elena!" a girl yelled back.

Elena entered the housing, carefully shutting the door behind her. She put her backpack away, before joining her parents at the table.

In an instant, all of Osvald's anxieties returned.

"So? How was it?" he desperately asked.

"It was amazing! We had to paint our hands then stamp them on a big piece of paper. Mine was blue and red, I didn't get all the paint off my hand though," Elena spoke quickly.

She always spoke quickly and stumbled over her words when she was excited.

She showed her hand, and sure enough, there were some spots of dried paint.

"And? Who was that girl you were talking to?" Osvald asked.

"Oh yeah! That's Sara, she's my friend. We were making flower crowns!" Elena ran back to her room, and returned with several poorly braided dandelions, "mine isn't done yet. I don't know how to finish it. She was helping me, but she had to go home."

"I know that pattern, I can help," Rita answered.

"Really?"

"Of course, but we need a few more flowers."

In not time, they had their shoes on, and headed out the door.

"We'll be back soon, but dinner might be a bit late today," Rita said.

"No, you two have fun, I'll cook," Osvald replied.

She gave him a quick kiss, "thank you darling."

She left, Elena following close behind.

Osvald smiled as he heard them laugh and yell, muffled by the walls. He considered himself lucky to have people in his life as perfect as them.

AAAAAAAAA PIE THIS IS SO SWEET,,,, MY HEART,,,,,,

love rita very casually insinuating that she’ll kill anyone who so much as hurst Elena. love the mercenary!rita au because it means she gets to kill

also elena talking too fast and stumbling over her words because she’s excited… she’s just like me fr

pie this is lovely and I like it a lot!!!!! now go to bed!!!!!

[seitmai]

With his looks and massive build, he shouldn’t be able to blend in so easily. How many people paid that close attention to their surroundings though? You hadn’t before. You needed to be on guard more. And what was that going to do to your stress levels?

Stress levels 📈

“I appreciate the hope and I don’t want you to lose that,” he said, sparing you a sad glance. “But you should place it elsewhere.”

That is sweet and sad at the same time

You held your breath before you remembered that Ray said the manager had worked with Bucky before. “So you know who I am,” you said. For Bucky to preach about your safety, a lot of people were aware of who you were. “Does everyone know who I am?”

An introverts nightmare 🥲

She paused to stare at you. “All of the rooms here are nice, but the suites are a bit more spacious. It’ll give you room to breathe while you relax,” she gently spoke. “You look like you could use some rest.”

Yes 100% needed

“Nothing in life is free. There’s a price for everything,” she said above a whisper. “And I know you’re not ungrateful. You’re just not used to it.”

The first person that kinda understands 🙏🏻

“I thought you were good at keeping secrets, Natalia,” Ray uttered. “I’m very good at keeping secrets that are actually worth keeping, Raymond,” she retorted.

Iconic answer lol

“So you know I’m trapped,” you said. She had to know it wasn’t a consensual relationship. “More or less,” she said.

🥲🥲🥲

“And let me guess. This Jake guy specializes in bugs and listening devices?” “Hmm. So you know about the bugs,” she said. Bucky was all too proud to share that when you asked. “Jake does specialize in those and you might meet him at some point. If and when you do, don't blame him for doing his job, please. Not everyone gets to choose their line of work.” “If it’s any consolation, he wasn’t pleased when he realized he was helping bug an innocent person's place, but he has a sister and niece to consider,” she said, giving you a hard stare when you opened your mouth.

Urgh poor Jake

“And before you ask because I know you’ll ask, I can’t help you.”

💔💔💔

“He did. When he isn't doing bad things, he actually does some good,” she answered, still toying with her necklace. “In all the time I’ve known him, there have only been two things I’ve ever heard him say he wants and you’re one of them. If I help take you away from him, I don’t know what he’ll do.” “So you won’t help me, but it’s really more like you can’t,” you guessed. She was essentially in Bucky’s pocket and had to think of the women under her employment and her sister. She couldn’t put them in danger. “No one will help me.”

Uff this is like a punch to the stomach..

“You said Bucky has only wanted two things in the time you’ve known him and I’m one of them. What’s the other thing?”

I was wondering the same thing!!!

“Don't make me put you on your ass, Barnes.” Natasha didn't sound afraid at all. What was it like to not have fear?

“I’ll repeat myself in case you didn't hear me the first time: My instructions were that she wasn't to be disturbed and that includes you. So unless you're checking in, I suggest you leave. The fact that you’re even on this floor after I promised no one would bother her-” “I promised her the day to herself, but that day is up and I have to see that she’s okay,” Bucky argued. You were lucky he didn't knock on your door at 12:01. “I just need to see her with my own eyes.”

Honestly a little pathetic of Bucky, but Natasha is my queen 👏🏻

“No. You played this wrong, Barnes. You could've chosen a compassionate route of courting her and eased her into this, but you intimidated her from the start and made it so she won’t ever be free of you. Maybe you're more like your father than-”

I mean, she's not wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️

The sound of something colliding with the nearby wall made you jump back from the door, your heart thudding. It took a moment to get your bearings before you threw the door open to make sure Natasha was okay. The redhead, Ray, and Bucky all looked toward you and no one had a single mark on them. The wall beside the door, however, had a fist sized hole.

If he would have hurt Natasha, I would have to hurt him 😤

“You know I'll have to bill you for the damage,” Natasha told Bucky. “I know,” he said. He could afford it.

And I really hope she will bill him double and triple!

“You’re lucky I’m choosing to be nice instead of kicking your ass or letting Natasha kick your ass for disturbing me and my sleep,” you said, tensing up when he spooned you, his arm wrapped tight around you and his breath warm against your neck. “We have some things to talk about when I wake up.”

So real

He pressed a gentle kiss to your neck, but didn't push any further, thankfully. “Thank you for letting me hold you.” Your heart clenched. He sounded so happy just to be around you, just to be in your space. You were his everything.

😬😬😬

Hold You Tight: Part 14

Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.

Part 13 | Series Masterlist | Part 15

Chapter Word Count: Over 5k

Chapter Summary: The manager of The Red Room gives you a little advice regarding your situation with Bucky.

Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, backstory, reference to stalking, hopelessness. inner turmoil, slight feels, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.

A/N: More Hold You Tight! I realize some of this may feel like filler, but it's happening for a reason. Thank you for sticking with me! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo . ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby , but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Ray kept a close but respectable distance as he took you to his car. It was similar to the vehicle he drove Bucky around in, but a slightly different shade of black that wasn’t as flashy. You should've spotted it sooner, but you weren’t exactly looking for it, were you?

“Have you just been driving around following me all day?” you asked once you were in the car.

“I followed you on foot, too. I’m good at blending in,” he said, giving you a sideways glance as he buckled up and made sure you were buckled up, too. There was no boasting in his statement, just truth. “It wouldn't surprise me if I’m the one asked to stay nearby when you join your friends on Saturday.”

“But perhaps if she really does want to go and you’re unable to accompany her, boss, someone could discreetly keep an eye on her.”

With his looks and massive build, he shouldn’t be able to blend in so easily. How many people paid that close attention to their surroundings though? You hadn’t before. You needed to be on guard more. And what was that going to do to your stress levels?

At least it would be Ray watching if he was asked and not one of Bucky’s other friends.

“Well, I hope watching me drink wine doesn't bore you,” you said, glancing out the window as he drove off, watching the cars and people go by. “How did you get so good at what you do?”

“Making sure you're safe doesn't bore me,” he said. Ironic considering his boss put you in danger. “And I think that’s a story for another time.”

Ray said he had been working for Bucky for a few years. You wondered just how they met. There had to be a story there. “Do you ever think about walking away from it?” you asked curiously, bringing your gaze back to him while he kept his eyes on the road. “I mean, you have a life outside of this, right?”

Did he have family? Friends? A loved one? He had to have a hobby at least. Something.

He tapped a finger on the steering wheel. “Do you think one simply walks away?”

“No, I guess not,” you replied. It was unlikely that you would ever escape, but you didn’t know how it was for people who willingly ran in circles with men like Bucky. You still had a lot to learn. “But I’d like to think there’s hope for you if that’s what you want.”

“I appreciate the hope and I don’t want you to lose that,” he said, sparing you a sad glance. “But you should place it elsewhere.”

Where exactly would you place that hope when Bucky continued to infect everything in your life?

You nodded once, feeling a bit sad for him, too. He just seemed different from the others Bucky surrounded himself with. “Sorry for the questions.”

“Don't apologize,” he said, tapping the steering wheel again. “It’s nice that you care enough to ask.”

You smiled to yourself, content to sit in silence after that. Grabbing your phone from your bag, you aimlessly scrolled through your messages and stopped at Bucky’s name. There were no new messages, but would he send something at the stroke of midnight? And if he was in a mood without you around and Ray eventually told him that Zemo introduced himself to you, what would he do?

“We’re here,” Ray said after a minute, parking his car in front of a tall, sleek building and getting out. He held up a hand to stop the valet from opening the door for you, opting to help you out himself. “This way.”

The sleek theme continued as you went into the lobby and you understood why it was called The Red Room. The color was everywhere, balanced out by a mix of black and gray and soft lighting. The nearby sofa and chairs looked high-quality, as did the art. It appeared to be an oasis of luxury and a place for a well deserved break.

You stopped Ray before you got to the desk. “How much is a room? I get paid tomorrow, but…” You had some money in savings you could transfer over to cover what was surely an expensive cost.

“You haven't checked your account today, have you?”

Taking out your phone with a furrowed brow, you quickly logged into your bank account. An embarrassing squeak came out when you saw the amount, your eyes wide as you looked between your phone and Ray. That had to be some sort of mistake. There was no way…

Bucky.

“He put money in my account?” you whispered, double checking the amount to make sure your eyes weren't deceiving you. Why did he do that? “I can't…”

“He did and he won't take it back if you try,” Ray confirmed. “Regardless of how much you now have, if my boss found out that I suggested you stay here and made you pay he’d have my head.”

“Well, what’s the point of having this money then?” you pressed.

Not that you intended to use it. Spending even a dime of it would likely encourage Bucky to give you more. Or was it a test to see if you would spend it? Would he know if you did?

Maybe, just maybe, you could get Addison and Brady a nice wedding gift.

“To make sure you're taken care of in every possible way,” he said, gesturing to you to move forward.

“Welcome to The Red Room,” a woman in a black dress smiled, Ingrid from the name on her tag. “Do you have a reservation?”

“We do not,” Ray said, sliding a card over. “And I’ll need to speak with Natalia regarding a room, please.”

“Natalia?” Ingrid’s smile didn’t slip, but a hardened look took over her eyes and you suddenly felt uncomfortable. “I’m afraid that’s-”

“It’s fine, Ingrid. I’ll be happy to take care of them.” A redhead in a similar black dress walked over, her heels echoing on the marble floor. She carried herself with grace and power and looked like she could snap your neck without breaking a sweat. So did Ingrid for that matter. “Why don’t you go on break?”

“Of course.” Ingrid’s smile was back on her face. “Enjoy your stay,” she added, gliding away.

“Raymond. Good to see you,” Natalia said, her voice warm as he gave her a nod. “You’ll have to excuse Ingrid. She gets a little protective when anyone asks for Natalia. You know you're one of the only men around who still calls me that.”

“It’s your name, is it not?” he asked, though her tag read Natasha.

“Indeed it is. Maybe one day you’ll call me Natasha,” she said, cocking an eyebrow at you. You didn’t think she was judging you, but you still felt a little self conscious under her gaze. “I wasn't supposed to meet you until later. I also expected Bucky to be with you when that happened.”

You held your breath before you remembered that Ray said the manager had worked with Bucky before. “So you know who I am,” you said. For Bucky to preach about your safety, a lot of people were aware of who you were. “Does everyone know who I am?”

The corner of her lip quirked up. “Not everyone,” she said, turning her attention to Ray. “Why is she here early? Did something happen?”

“She needs a place to stay for the night and she’s not to be disturbed. That includes my boss.”

She raised an eyebrow again. “Understood. I’ll give her suite 213 and put you just across the hall.” Her fingers flew across the keyboard before she slid the card back to Ray. “Follow me.”

“Isn’t a suite a bit much?” you asked. And for Ray to pay for that, you had to pay him back somehow.

She paused to stare at you. “All of the rooms here are nice, but the suites are a bit more spacious. It’ll give you room to breathe while you relax,” she gently spoke. “You look like you could use some rest.”

Did she know the extent of what you had gone through? You weren’t claustrophobic but with Bucky smothering you, breathing and rest didn’t come to you as easily. “I appreciate that,” you said. A spacious area would feel nice.

She nodded, pressing the elevator button. “You’re also welcome to book anything in the spa at no charge and whatever you’d like from the restaurant or room service menu is on the house.”

You gaped at her. “So because I’m Bucky’s girl, you’ll just give me these things for free?” you asked, noticing that she stood on one side of you and Ray on the other. “I mean, I’m not trying to sound ungrateful, but there’s no need for the special treatment.”

Everyone so far in Bucky’s circle fawned over you. But what had you done to earn anything? Nothing. All you did was catch the eye of a powerful man.

“Nothing in life is free. There’s a price for everything,” she said above a whisper. “And I know you’re not ungrateful. You’re just not used to it.”

You weren’t sure if you’d ever get used to it since you grew up with the belief that you had to work for what you were given. “You asked why I was here early. When exactly was I supposed to meet you?”

“Not to spoil the surprise, but Bucky booked a dinner reservation and our best suite for a romantic evening.” She gave Ray a glance, who didn’t look too pleased. “I think he plans to tell you the day of, if I had to guess.”

“Wonderful,” you muttered, a shiver running through your body. You weren't an idiot. If Bucky booked a suite for the two of you, he’d expect you to sleep with him.

“I thought you were good at keeping secrets, Natalia,” Ray uttered.

“I’m very good at keeping secrets that are actually worth keeping, Raymond,” she retorted.

“I’m glad you told me,” you said. In her defense, you asked a question and she gave you an almost direct answer. “Besides, it’s just another thing to add to the list of ‘surprises’ for today. Bucky having Ray follow me. Meeting Zemo.”

“Zemo?” She didn’t give anything away, but she gave Ray another look. This guy didn’t seem to have a lot of fans. “You met Zemo? When?”

“He introduced himself to me at the park just before we came here,” you replied.

She pursed her lips when the elevator door opened. “I can’t wait to hear how Bucky responds to that.”

Your stomach sank. You saw what he did to John after he insulted you. Zemo likely wouldn’t fare much better, but he also seemed to be a bigger player in whatever went on in the city.

“Will you let me do a sweep before she goes in?” Ray asked before Natasha could open the door.

“No one has been in this room and no one knew you were coming here, but I know you'll be chewed out if you don’t,” she said, stepping aside for him.

“You’re not planning to bug the place, are you, Ray?” You didn’t want to think he would, but you had to ask.

He didn’t look offended by the question. If anything, he seemed to understand your concern. “This is meant to be a safe haven for the rest of the day. I won’t take that from you,” he promised, shutting the door behind him. It was nice to have him somewhat on your side, even in the smallest capacity.

The hall was eerily quiet as you stood alone with the redhead. Your gaze darted back and forth, expecting Bucky to waltz in and tell you that this wasn’t a haven at all. That he’d drag you to the suite bed and do whatever he pleased.

“I’ve been told you have a kind heart,” Natasha said, bringing your attention back to her. “That’s good for Bucky.”

“Is it?” you asked, looking down the hall again.

“Relax,” she urged. “You don’t have to feel nervous here. You’re safe.”

“You work with Bucky, so I’m naturally going to feel nervous and suspicious,” you said. You wouldn’t apologize for that. “How much do you know about me?”

“A man named Jake who does security and surveillance works for both Bucky and I. When Bucky needed him for an extended period of time, I was naturally curious as to why. He gave me just enough pieces to put the puzzle together.”

“So you know I’m trapped,” you said. She had to know it wasn’t a consensual relationship.

“More or less,” she said.

“And let me guess. This Jake guy specializes in bugs and listening devices?”

“Hmm. So you know about the bugs,” she said. Bucky was all too proud to share that when you asked. “Jake does specialize in those and you might meet him at some point. If and when you do, don't blame him for doing his job, please. Not everyone gets to choose their line of work.”

“Well, I wish he would’ve stopped him,” you said. You could blame this guy, but it wouldn't do you any good. Like Natasha said, he may not have had a choice.

“If it’s any consolation, he wasn’t pleased when he realized he was helping bug an innocent person's place, but he has a sister and niece to consider,” she said, giving you a hard stare when you opened your mouth. “And before you ask because I know you’ll ask, I can’t help you.”

You tried not to get upset at her immediate denial to help. “May I ask why not?”

She sighed, toying with the delicate gold necklace around her neck. You wondered if the arrow charm was symbolic. “The women who work here… We didn’t exactly have the best upbringing and we didn’t have much freedom, even as adults. Including my sister,” she explained, a haunted look taking over her eyes momentarily. “But Bucky stepped in some time ago and helped us. Without him, I wouldn’t have been able to open this place or give us normal life. I’ll be forever in his debt for that.”

“He helped you?” you asked. Marc mentioned that he donated to the local hospital and charities, but this was something else. Was this a normal hotel or some kind of refuge?

“He did. When he isn't doing bad things, he actually does some good,” she answered, still toying with her necklace. “In all the time I’ve known him, there have only been two things I’ve ever heard him say he wants and you’re one of them. If I help take you away from him, I don’t know what he’ll do.”

“So you won’t help me, but it’s really more like you can’t,” you guessed. She was essentially in Bucky’s pocket and had to think of the women under her employment and her sister. She couldn’t put them in danger. “No one will help me.”

“Barnes isn’t the kind of man you win a fight against. It’s better for most to stay on his good side than to be his enemy,” she said, putting a hand on your shoulder when you hung your head. “Hey. I’m not telling you to just lay over and accept your new relationship for what it is, but I don’t want you to be surprised when people keep telling you ‘no’ when you ask for help.”

“Everyone just looks the other way and that isn’t…” You bit your lip to keep from screaming.

“It isn’t fair. I know,” she whispered. Her sympathy didn't make you feel better. “I won’t make excuses for him because what he has done is awful, but he isn’t entirely evil. He’s… flawed. We all are.”

Would Bucky be so flawed if people didn’t enable him or look the other way? “Do you think I’ll get used to belonging to him? I keep fighting it, but…” Doors kept getting slammed in your face in terms of help and that hope continued to fade. Was it time to accept the inevitable?

She considered your question. “I can’t say if you’ll get used to it, but there’s a careful balance between embracing a circumstance while maintaining your own boundaries. You need to find that.”

“But I have no boundaries thanks to Bucky,” you argued. He took them away.

“Maybe not now, but you could get some back down the line. He isn’t a man most people win fights against, but he’s still just a man. Use what you know about him and sway him. You have a little more power than you think.”

You thought back to the club when Jax flirted with you. Bucky worked himself up, but your touch and soft demeanor helped calm him down. “I guess I could try,” you said. It seemed easy enough, but he was so good at swinging things in his favor that you had a hard time believing you had a chance.

“And it isn’t much, but I can offer you a space here to use on occasion if you need time away from him. I know you don’t believe he’ll let you use it, but I think you can convince him and you deserve a safe haven,” she said, smiling a little when she handed you a card. “I could even have one of the girls teach you some self defense if you’re interested in any lessons.”

You turned the card over. There was only a phone number listed and a black widow spider. “I appreciate the offer, Natasha,” you said, tucking it in your bag. It wasn’t freedom, but it was something. And whatever Natasha’s full story was, your heart went out to her. “Can I ask what the second thing is?”

“Excuse me?”

“You said Bucky has only wanted two things in the time you’ve known him and I’m one of them. What’s the other thing?”

She shook her head. “That’s for him to tell you.”

Ray came out of the room a moment later. “All clear. Not that I expected anything less from you and your staff, Natalia,” he said. It earned him a small smile as she passed his room card over. “I’ll be just across the hall if you need me.”

“And you can ask for me personally if you call the desk,” Natasha added.

“I appreciate it, but I’ll be fine,” you said honestly. As long as Bucky didn't show up. “I’ll just order some wine and food, curl up in bed, and finish reading my book.” You didn’t need much else.

“Are you sure?” Ray asked.

“I’m sure,” you smiled softly. He had done enough by bringing you there. “Thank you both.”

They each gave you a sympathetic gaze as you stepped inside and shut the door behind you. The red, black, and gray theme continued in the tastefully designed suite. It was the nicest hotel room you had ever been in. Too nice for someone like you.

Setting your bag down and removing your shoes, you went right to the bedroom with your phone and book. The large bed looked comfortable and inviting. Sighing as you stretched out, you stared at the ceiling and tried to reflect on what had recently transpired.

Natasha. She couldn't directly help you and she had her reasons, but she might be a good ally. She was at least in the camp that you deserved some sense of freedom and offered you a small form of sanctuary. It was better than nothing.

Ray, you still couldn't figure him out. Like Natasha, he wouldn't directly help you. Bucky said he was loyal and didn't let emotions cloud him. He seemed to care to an extent though.

You froze when a message popped up on your phone. It wasn't from Bucky though. It was from your coworker, Kate.

“Hey, girl! You know Clark? Pretty blue eyes. Super hot. He stopped in and asked when your next shift was.”

Your stomach twisted in knots. Why was he asking? “Hey. What did you tell him?”

Kate messaged back quickly and your stomach twisted up more. “Told him you’d be in tomorrow and he looked happy until Mrs. Crandle announced that you have a boyfriend?! Girl, WHAT?! I need all the details!”

You groaned and hid your face in the pillow. Mrs. Crandle meant no harm, but this was the last thing you needed. Maybe Clark wouldn't come around after hearing that. “I’ll tell you about it during our next shift together.”

You didn't look at your phone for the rest of the afternoon. Instead, you lost yourself in the pages of the book and only took a break to order a drink and meal from the room service menu. And true to Natasha’s word, no one disturbed you. The food was left outside of the door once ready. Natasha even had a nice pair of pajamas sent up for you.

It was a quiet and relaxing rest of the day.

But as the sun went down and you got ready for bed, you held up your left hand and looked at your bare ring finger. A shuddering breath left your lungs as you imagined a ring around your finger. How happy your friends would be that you found love. How happy Bucky would be to have you tied to him forever.

Glancing at the empty side of the bed after your delicious meal, you wondered how it was going to be sleeping next to Bucky. Was he a cuddler or would he want his own space? Would he hog the covers? You would find out soon enough, wouldn't you?

But for today, he left you alone. He kept his promise. Yes, he sent Ray to watch you, but he hadn't shown up or reached out. He actually gave you some space instead of smothering you. And with you in the suite, he didn't have eyes on you.

Who knows? Maybe his mood improved and he had a good day without you. One could only hope.

“Good night, Bucky,” you whispered, closing your eyes and getting the sleep you craved.

A loud knock on the door woke you. Slowly opening your eyes with a groan, you wondered what time it was. Your body alarm clock said it was too early. Stretching, you made your way to the door and stopped when you heard raised voices outside.

“Get the hell out of my way, Natasha.”

You gasped when you heard Bucky’s voice, the quick anger rushing through you making you clench your fists. God, you knew it. You knew he’d show up.

“Don't make me put you on your ass, Barnes.” Natasha didn't sound afraid at all. What was it like to not have fear? “I’ll repeat myself in case you didn't hear me the first time: My instructions were that she wasn't to be disturbed and that includes you. So unless you're checking in, I suggest you leave. The fact that you’re even on this floor after I promised no one would bother her-”

“He was up here to speak with me,” Ray cut in.

“And I did. Now I need to see her,” Bucky said, the desperation in his voice making your heart ache.

“Boss, it’s two in the morning.”

“Exactly. You need to let her sleep. It’s the least you could do,” Natasha urged.

“I promised her the day to herself, but that day is up and I have to see that she’s okay,” Bucky argued. You were lucky he didn't knock on your door at 12:01. “I just need to see her with my own eyes.”

The bugs at your place would've given him access to whatever he wanted, but he didn't have that in the suite. It was probably driving him crazy. He sure as hell sounded out of sorts.

“Wow, an entire day. How generous.” You almost laughed at Natasha’s snark. It was appreciated. “Is this about Zemo? I know he saw her at the park, but he hasn’t been around here. We both know I’d never allow him to set foot in the door without a very good reason.”

“I still need to deal with him and he’ll be lucky if I don’t kill him with my bare hands,” Bucky growled, making you tense up.

“You have enough blood on your hands, but what’s one more body?” Natasha asked, the conversation reminding you once again that Bucky was a killer. “Look, I’m not going to disturb her and neither should you.”

“Natasha-”

“No. You played this wrong, Barnes. You could've chosen a compassionate route of courting her and eased her into this, but you intimidated her from the start and made it so she won’t ever be free of you. Maybe you're more like your father than-”

The sound of something colliding with the nearby wall made you jump back from the door, your heart thudding. It took a moment to get your bearings before you threw the door open to make sure Natasha was okay. The redhead, Ray, and Bucky all looked toward you and no one had a single mark on them. The wall beside the door, however, had a fist sized hole.

“Kotyonok,” Bucky smiled the second he saw you. He looked like he hadn't slept much. Good. Now he knew how it felt.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, not having it in you to scream, cry, or anything else. “And did you just punch a hole in the wall?”

He chuckled sheepishly, brushing off his gloved hand. “Yeah, I did that.”

He was unbelievable.

“I’m so sorry he woke you,” Natasha said, putting out an arm to stop Bucky when he stepped forward. “Back up, Barnes. You’ve seen for yourself that she’s fine.”

“Yep. I’m fine.” You gestured to yourself and yawned. “Can I please go back to sleep?”

“Can I come in for just a minute?” Bucky asked, a touch of guilt in his eyes when you narrowed yours. He was pushing his luck when all you wanted to do was go back to bed. “Please?”

“Apologize to Natasha for damaging her property,” you demanded. He had no right to do that.

“I’m sorry, Natasha,” he sincerely stated.

Natasha’s mouth parted before her cool expression took over again. “Thankfully no one else was on this floor, so you hopefully didn't disturb anyone else.”

Bucky's eyes were still on you, full of longing. “May I please come in?”

You mulled over it. Technically he still kept his promise and let you be for a day. You could be angry later that he showed up so early. For now, you needed sleep.

“Come in,” you said, surprising everyone, yourself included. “It’s fine,” you assured Natasha and Ray.

The redhead nodded after a moment and lowered her arm, but the bodyguard shot his boss a subtle glare. “You know I'll have to bill you for the damage,” Natasha told Bucky.

“I know,” he said. He could afford it.

“Thank you, Ray. Natasha. I hope you both get some rest, too,” you said, letting Bucky into the suite and shutting the door.

Bucky let out a breath as he looked you over, but didn't move any closer when you backed up. Of course he had to invade what was meant to be your haven for the night. Strangely, you weren't as nervous as usual to have him so close. “Hi.”

“Hi,” you mumbled, crossing your arms when he slipped his jacket off. “You really couldn't wait until after sunrise to see me?”

“I’m sorry. I was up late at the club and Ray said you were here and… I missed you,” he explained, his expression soft.

It was kind of nice to be missed. “I’m sure you did,” you yawned again. “King of the loopholes,” you added under your breath.

He ran a gloved hand through his hair. “And I’m sorry about Zemo. I should've known he would-”

You shook your head quickly. “Nope. Not having this talk when I'm still sleepy,” you said, heading toward the bedroom. It was too heavy of a discussion to have in the middle of the night. “Take your shoes off. We both know you aren't leaving.”

He looked surprised all over again when you looked back at him. “You’re letting me stay?” he asked, a smile on his face like you handed him a gift. “You aren't telling me to leave?”

“Stay or go, up to you, but I'm going back to sleep,” you said, curling up on the bed. “And if you sleep next to me, don't you dare let your hands wander.”

“And you’re letting me lay with you,” he said, the mattress dipping beside you. “You’re being very agreeable.”

“You’re lucky I’m choosing to be nice instead of kicking your ass or letting Natasha kick your ass for disturbing me and my sleep,” you said, tensing up when he spooned you, his arm wrapped tight around you and his breath warm against your neck. “We have some things to talk about when I wake up.”

Ray following you. Zemo. Natasha’s offer. Bucky’s mom. Your relationship.

“We can talk about whatever you want,” he whispered, nuzzling you gently as your eyes shut. “Did you miss me yesterday?”

“No,” you mumbled.

Your reply didn't stop him from chuckling. “Not even a little bit?”

You sighed. “If I say ‘yes’, will you let me sleep?”

“I will,” he answered.

“I missed you a little,” you said, snuggling further into the pillow. He placed his hand over yours and you blamed your tiredness for why you didn't tense up again. “Now sleep.”

He pressed a gentle kiss to your neck, but didn't push any further, thankfully. “Thank you for letting me hold you.”

Your heart clenched. He sounded so happy just to be around you, just to be in your space. You were his everything.

“You’re welcome,” you mumbled, drifting off not long after.

Your last thought before you fell asleep was that you hoped Bucky would behave himself.

Lovelies, I think we all knew Bucky would show up the first chance he had. What do we think of Natasha? Is she being truthful that she can't help or is she biding her time? Will Bucky behave? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[star-crossed-juliet]

In Love and Loss

It was quite a long time before Juliet left Jason and Dane. Both of them clearly crashing a bit again. She'd made it clear that she was only leaving long enough to sort out food for them, whether they actually ended up eating it or not. But still, she made them a full meal and then decided to give them a bit of breathing room for the time being.

She made her way back down to the front of the shop, a full plate of food in her hands. Desmond wasn't sleeping, even despite the time of night. A common theme for the four of them that night, apparently. She passed him the food, which he took without arguing, though he only set it on his lap. Juliet sat down next to him on the steps, looking over at him briefly before turning her gaze up to the moon. "I don't blame you if you have no appetite. It's understandable."

He grunted a bit, rather than properly replying. Not a people person, from the memories of what she'd been told by Ivy and Thaddy. Though the bits she'd heard from him were few and far between. But he was the love of Thaddeus' life, and that meant that he meant something to Juliet too. "They told me that he threw you back through the portal," she added after a moment. "And that you've worked for Marcus." She noticed him wince. "And I can tell that's a bit of a grey area for you and them... but it isn't for me."

Desmond's brow furrowed as he took in the shifter. He knew well enough who she was, both from the bits he'd heard from Thaddeus, to her characteristic closeness with nearly every powerful warlock in Chicago, and having been on the arm of the pack's alpha--or, at least, the only alpha of note for an onlooker's sake. Juliet Pierce. He'd imagined her demeanor to be similar enough to how she was presenting herself now, but that statement still managed to take him aback. "Rather a lot of confidence to have in a stranger," he replied, his voice somewhat hoarse from tiredness and lack of use.

Juliet smiled at that, shrugging her shoulders. "I trust Ivy's judgement implicitly... after all, it's not like you could hide anything from her. And Thaddeus does love you, so that doesn't hurt your case either."

The comment about Ivy filled him with another wave of guilt. Because some part of him was convinced that this could have all been avoided if he'd been quicker, sought Ivy out the second he realized she wasn't in the shop when him and Thaddeus arrived. Poor kid might know a lot, but it didn't mean she knew what she was in for. Not truly. "She's a nice girl. Shocking that she was raised by Ophien," he half-joked, though the humor fell rather flat in the moment.

A bit of laughter from Juliet surprised the both of them. "He's more of a softie than we all give him credit for. But yes, she's a good kid."

Silence fell again, that choking reality settling upon them. And it hurt. Desperately.

"You know you can head home to get a bit of rest if you want to," Juliet said eventually. "I'll be happy to stand guard."

Des considered the idea, sighing slightly. "In a bit, maybe. I just..."

"I know... you don't want to miss any updates."

Another beat of silence. "You really love them, don't you?"

She looked up at him, examining the sad-eyed warlock before she nodded. "With all my heart. They're my family. And I've never been the type to consider that to be blood relations only." Juliet reached over to place her hand on top of Desmond's, giving it a gentle squeeze. "You are too. And I fight tooth and nail for my family... We'll get them back."

Her words were a tonic as much as a worry, but he tried to take it for a positive for once. For now, at least. He returned the squeeze of her hand. "Thank you, Juliet."

She offered him a warm smile. "No need to thank me, Desmond."

And then their focus shifted back to the idle noise of the night streets, with watchful eyes intent on protecting the last of them left.

[devianttxrts]

rolling her eyes, which was far from an uncommon occurrence when she was graced with odette's presence - shiloh blew a stray strand of hair from her face. "did it ever occur to you that it's not about what you deserve? maybe some people already have enough." she said pointedly. it wasn't lost on her, the stark differences in their upbringing and even the lives they lived now. observance was a quiet strength of hers, something she gave thanks for, but she was also really glad she didn't have an inferiority complex. if anything, she was overconfident and shameless. that might bring its own set of consequences, but she preferred to fight those battles.

it was probably that same shamelessness that had her lips openly quirking up into a smile the second she saw odette's scowl. she wouldn't be blamed for her reflexes, even if she made no effort to hide them. it wasn't her fault getting expressions like that from the blonde made her feel like she was doing something right. shiloh almost had to bite her tongue to keep herself from arguing, purely for arguments sake - maybe she did think odette was full of air; maybe some stereotypes held a certain element of truth at their core. but her curiosity won out over the need to fight odette at every turn. this time. "oh yeah, my heart really goes out to you poor blondes and your unfair representation in the media." the words were dripping with sarcasm, the hand that reached out to comfortingly pat odette's arm possibly even more so.

shiloh couldn't help the way her eyebrows rose, showing her surprise. the look shifted to almost incredulous, because was odette implying that she could handle something shiloh couldn't? did she really think she was tougher than her? because that had to come with some audacity. there was an unspoken challenge, and she was rising to it. the day she backed down was the day she died. however, that didn't mean she wasn't going to give herself a moment under the guise of getting odette the drink she oh so nicely asked for. the only issue that brought was it meant moving and breaking the eye contact between them that was veering on intense, and being the one to break it could be counted as a victory for the blonde. shiloh really, really didn't like letting that happen in any capacity, but she still forced herself to slowly turn and do exactly that.

"i can handle anything you can." she had to make that clear in case it wasn't already. "have you ever considered that what you see is what you get? because that's what i do with you." odette had shown her the parts of her she wanted shiloh to see, and she couldn't honestly say she'd ever thought of digging deeper than that. "why are you so curious about me?" she slid the girl's drink in front of her, settling once more against the counter top between them. "why now?" @thursdaygrl

[jakehawk]

Operation Bulbasaur: Phase One

In which Jake and Renee get locked up by their kids during the Redwood Prom.

@reneebrxndxn

Jake

-It wasn't like Jake had been waiting all night to see Renee at the Prom but really, that was exactly what he had been doing. Sure, he had socialised with other Redwoodians and he was having a good time. But he really wanted to see Renee, all while trying to not seem like that was who he was waiting for. Dealing with the Hawks helped. He was currently following Leo who really wanted to show his Pops something; that something being Renee.-

"Hey."

-Jake said to Renee as Leo said something about needing to find snacks, almost like he had planned this.-

"You look amazing."

Renee Brandon

-after finally getting out of the stupid supply closet, Renee had intended to go back to the prom and try to enjoy herself but opted to hang out in the hall outside of it for a moment to compose herself. She was leaning against the wall, steadying herself when she heard Jake. Her head shot up and she looked over just as Leo disappeared- Hey. -she pushed off the wall a bit to stand up straighter- Thanks, although I don't know if that's completely true right now. You look good... -he really did- ....are you having fun at the prom?

Jake

-He smiled as she complimented him, her opinion meaning more than anyone else's in his mind. He glanced back at the main room of the Community Centre where people mingled and danced-

"Yeah. So far this Prom has been way more fun than my previous one. How about you? You 

having a good time?"

Renee Brandon

Oh, you know, it's prom. It has it's ups and downs. The boys are having fun and everyone else seems to be enjoying themselves, so that's good. -she follows his gaze into the main room before looking back at him- I take it the Hawks are enjoying themselves too. I've heard a lot of laughing children tonight.

Jake

-he noted how she didn't really answer his question but he decided to leave it where it was for now. It's too early in the conversation to bring out their 'safe word'.-

"Yeah, they've been loving this whole night. It's good to see them be kids, y'know? Like Cass and Cody have been hanging out with their friends all night and Leo, Willow and Erin have been dancing up a storm between the three of them."

Renee Brandon

-a smile drifts across her face- It is. I think I even saw Erin dancing with Oliver a few times. I'm glad they're enjoying themselves. -she contemplates whether to ask or not but decides to ask anyway- You dance with anyone tonight?

Jake

"Willow has insisted on a couple of dances but that's it so far. You?"

Renee Brandon

Just the boys. I've been preoccupied with making sure the snack bar is stocked and cleaning up spilled punch.

Jake

-Jake let out a snort-

"So basically you've been taking care of everyone else but yourself. That's not having fun, Renee. For once, let someone else take care of the clean-up."

Renee Brandon

I'm a mom, I can't help it. -she laughs a little as she shrugs- And I like feeling useful. Plus, the less mess there is now, the less mess we have to clean up once everyone heads home for the night.

Jake

-opens his mouth to argue some more about this but realises that will be a waste of time. Instead he shakes his head.-

-Before he can try to divert the conversation in a new direction, Erin runs up to them-

"Quick, you're both gotta come with me! No time to explain!"

-With that, Erin takes off, heading through the crowd and out of the Community Centre. Jake glances at Renee before running after her-

Renee Brandon

-Renee notices how he's about to say something but doesn't. She doesn't think it could be anything to warrant their safe word but she was about to ask when Erin runs up to them. She's running outside and with Jake following after her, she takes a second to remove her heels so she can run after them. Her heart is pounding as her motherly instincts kick in and she worries something might have happened to one of the kids-

Jake

-Jake doesn't wait for Renee to catch up as he chases after Erin. She leads him to the library, standing by the front door for a second to make sure he had followed before ducking inside. He followed her in to find her leading the way to one of the study rooms on the ground floor. In there, he found Cass sat on the floor, her head in her hands.-

"Shit, Cass, honey, what's wrong?"

-Jake crouched next to her and put his hand on her shoulder.-

Renee Brandon

-it takes Renee a minute to catch up, her legs definitely shorter than Jake's, but she follows them inside the library. She quickly spots Cass on the floor and she moves to kneel next to Jake- Honey, are you hurt? What happened?

Jake

-Cass waited until both Jake and Renee were next to her. From outside of the study room, Jake heard Cody yell: now! Cass jumped up to her feet and dashed out of the room. Oliver slammed the door behind her, leaving Jake and Renee alone in the room. Jake could hear a collection of giggles and shouts from the other side of the door, plus the distinct clicking noise of the door being locked.-

"I think we've been tricked."

Renee Brandon

-Renee looked over her shoulder when she heard Cody and was frozen in surprise as Cass ran out and she saw her oldest close the door. It didn't take long to put two and two together and she sighed with a shake of her head.- I think you're right. -she pushes herself to her feet and tries to open the door, not being surprised that it's locked- Oliver....Mom needs you to open this door right now.

Jake

-He doesn't even bother trying to open the door. Instead he walks over to the desk that sits against one of the walls in the room and leans against it to watch Renee negotiate with Oliver-

"Do you think this has anything to do with Operation Bulbasaur?"

Renee Brandon

Sorry, Mom, but Erin said not to let you out just yet. -Renee sighs as she hears the kids run off and goes to sit down at one of the desks.- I think this very much has to do with Operation Bulbasaur. Erin seems to be the ringleader.

Jake

-he shakes his head in disbelief-

"Yeah, makes sense. You know, one day Erin is gonna rule the world and we'll all be at her mercy."

Renee Brandon

I would not put it past her. -she laughs a bit as she leans against the desk and holds her head up- How long do you think they're going to keep us locked in here?

Jake

-He glances at his watch-

"Either they let us out quick to end the prank or they all get distracted by the Prom and we're in here until Lucien gets back and finds us."

Renee Brandon

-Renee looks at the door before back at Jake- I think we might be in the latter category. Pretty sure I heard them run off already.

Jake

-On the one hand, he gets it. The kids had obviously picked up on something happening between Jake and Renee and wanted to do something to help that along. He kinda wished they had thought of a different plan than locking them in a room together but he guessed they had good intentions.-

-On the other hand, Jake didn't want to be locked in this room with Renee all night. Not when they still hadn't fully resolved everything that was going on between them and her with Andy.-

"Don't suppose you've got a deck of cards on you, do ya?"

Renee Brandon

-when he asked about the deck of cards, she laughs and shakes her head- I left them in my other skirt, I'm afraid. -she looks around the room- think there's any paper and pencils in here to play hangman or something?

Jake

-He smiles as she laughs, not stopping himself from showing how much he adores hearing that sound from her. He nearly says something about other things they could do to pass the time but he knows that's a bad idea.-

"Or we could play eye-spy?"

Renee Brandon

Eye spy? -she smiles and huffs a laugh- Yeah, that works. Although I don't know if there's much in here for us to guess.

Jake

"It's either eye spy or we have to create a new game ourselves. Or else we'll have to converse and we both know we're terrible at that!"

Renee Brandon

-she manages a laugh but it sounds a bit more hollow- Yeah....and we used to be good at talking. -she looks around the room- So....I spy with my little eye something......green.

Jake

-he starts looking around the room for something green but stops. He figures 'fuck it'. They're locked in here together, might as well hash things out so to speak.-

"Time out. Circle back to 'we used to be good at talking.' I know things have gotten really complicated between us and I know we're trying our best to navigate our way through all the mess but c'mon. Are things really that bad between us now?"

Renee Brandon

-She breathes out a long, loaded and tired breath- No, that's not.... they're not that bad, Jake. It's been a bad night and I'm one more wrong move away from breaking down, so please.....I spy something green."

Jake

-He studies her for a long moment, weighing up the pros and cons of pushing ahead and trying to get her to open up about why tonight had been so bad for her.-

"Eye-spy is really what's gonna help right now?"

Renee Brandon

Yes? -she pauses because even she doesn't believe that- No? -yet that didn't feel right either and she cradles her face in her hands for a moment as she takes a deep breath- Just so we're clear, getting tricked by our kids to getting locked in the library with each other is not what's made this a bad night.

Jake

-He watches and waits as Renee works through this, whatever this might be. The urge to walk over to her and hold her is strong but he ignores it for now.-

"I can think of much worse ways to spend an evening, for sure. I promise I won't Bulbasaur you right now. We'll play eye-spy, if that is what's gonna help but you can't keep whatever's bothering you bottled up. You know that, right?"

Renee Brandon

Yeah. -she breathes the word out. she eyes him with a grateful stare but he's also right and she knows it- I got locked in a supply closet.....with Ike, which went as well as one might expect. Shortly after I ran into Vi, who Ike had told about what happened and she was under the impression that I had intentionally tried to get him killed which wasn't true, but that doesn't seem to matter because no matter how many times I say it's my fault and try to apologize or make up for it, it's not enough. It's never enough. I say one thing and everything gets worse and I don't know what to do.

Jake

-It turns out he doesn't need to spring their safe word on her since Renee lets the details of her bad night spill with very little prompting. The urge to take her in his arms rises up again, enough to make him move from his perch on the desk to grab a chair and sit next to Renee. He can't hold her but he can be close to her.-

"Fuck the bunch of 'em."

-Had Renee acted foolishly by running into that clinic before it had been cleared? Yes, incredibly so. But there was nothing that could be done to change what had happened.-

"Sometimes all you can do is apologise and the person you apologise doesn't have to accept it. After that point, all you can do is carry on but show you learned from whatever mistake you had to apologise for."

Renee Brandon

-Renee watches him come to sit next to her and she can't help it. She leans against him, her head on his shoulder. He doesn't need to wrap his arm around her and maybe she shouldn't be leaning against him like this but she needs it- Vi thinks I should step down from the Council....and I think she's right. I can't do this, Jake.

Jake

-For less than half a second, his posture freezes as Renee leans into him and puts her head on his shoulder. But he then relaxes, despite himself.-

"Then step down. But do so because it's your own choice and because that's what's best for you and the town."

Renee Brandon

-She breathes out a heavy sigh- What do you think I should do?

Jake

"I think you should give yourself a break, in every sense of the word."

Renee Brandon

-The ghost of a smirk appeared on her face as she rolled her head so she could look up at him - A break, huh? I think you need to teach me what this magical break thing is.

Jake

"Jeez, have you ever let yourself relax? Like ever?"

-He's gently teasing her at this point, hoping that by maybe making her laugh, she'll feel a little better.-

Renee Brandon

-She managed a small laugh- I don't have time for relaxing, Hawk. Have you met our kids?

Jake

"That's why there's this wonderful thing called babysitting in which you get someone you trust to look after your kids for a couple of hours while you look after yourself. C'mon, surely you're heard of it?"

Renee Brandon

Oh I have. In fact, I utilizie that any time I have work to do. -she's smiling a bit more relaxed now- Not sure where I can go, though to get away and relax. There's not many places around town to go that don't remind me of work that needs to be done and outside the walls aren't exactly that relaxing.

Jake

-He can see the more relaxed nature in her smile now and he relaxes a little more himself-

"You need a new hobby. Something to take your mind off of everything else."

Renee Brandon

Well, if you have any brilliant ideas, I am all ears. -she pushes off his shoulder, rolling her shoulders before a shiver runs through her- I am really regretting not wearing something a bit warmer.

Jake

-Without waiting to be asked, Jake shrugs off his jacket and hands it to her-

"That's what you get for choosing fashion over function."

Renee Brandon

-she eyes him as he shrugs off his jacket and hands it to her- In my defense, I thought I would be chasing Oliver and Henry around the whole community center. -she takes the jacket and loops her arm through the sleeves to slide it on over her- Thank you. I'll give it back whenever we're freed.

Jake

"Yeah, best laid plans and all that. I'd offer to run laps around the room with you but I can't imagine how we'd explain that if someone other than our kids find us in here!"

Renee Brandon

Honestly, I think if someone caught you running laps around here, people might not question it as much. -she breathed out as she curled her hands into his sleeves to keep them warm- I don't think we'll have to worry about that. It's quite believable that our kids locked us in the library together. Just a shame we'll miss the rest of the prom.

Jake

"What do you think we're missing right now? What gossip is being made right now that we'll hear about tomorrow?"

Renee Brandon

-Renee hummed as she sat back in her chair- I don't know. I don't pay much attention to town gossip. But people are probably getting drunk, I'm sure someone has snuck off with someone to hook up, Cole got into a fight with someone so he might be looking for round two.....oh yeah, and they'll crown Cass and Sol as prom king and queen. What about you? What do you think?

Jake

"OK, back up: who's sneaking off with who to hook up? The weirder the combo, the better!"

Renee Brandon

Hmmmm..... -she taps her chin with her the edge of his jacket- Zack and Ike. That would be volatile as hell.

Jake

"Oof, OK. Yeah, you're right: volatile as all hell! Alright, who's fighting who? Apart from Cole since you've already mentioned him."

Renee Brandon

Oh no, I chose who is sleeping with who. You get to choose who is fighting who.

Jake

"Alright. Fine. In that case... Fleet and Cass but it's not a fist fight, it's a singing fight and it's real close between the two of them!"

Renee Brandon

Oh, that would be fun to see. Too bad we're stuck in here and missing it. -she laughs a little as her arm drops back to hugging herself- What other gossip do you think we're missing?

Jake

"Someone's made David laugh and I'm not there to see it. Nicki and Val are playing a drinking game and getting way too competitive about it. Cian and Cass are having a pun-off and it's a tight race."

Renee Brandon

-Renee laughs, leaning her elbow on the desk and cradling her head as she watches his face- Sounds like one hell of a party. Too bad we're missing it.

Jake

"Yeah, well, there's not much we can do about that unless we're willing to wreck a door and then explain that to Lucien in the morning."

Renee Brandon

Yeah, I don't feel like being on the wrong side of Lucien's wrath. -she hums her laugh as she sits up- Too bad there's not music in here. We could throw our own little mini prom in here.

Jake

"Neither do I."

-He laughs too.-

"I'd offer to sing but that would only put a damper on things, believe me!"

Renee Brandon

Oh, you can't be that bad of a singer.

Jake

"I'm not about to demonstrate now so don't even try it!"

Renee Brandon

Oh, pleaasseee. -she pleads and gives him her best puppy dog face-

Jake

"Ugh, the puppy dog eyes! How dare you!"

-He crosses his arms and shakes his head-

"The only person I'll sing for is Erin and that's only because she doesn't yet know how flat I am."

Renee Brandon

-she lays it on him a bit more, waiting to see if he'll crack- Please......

Jake

"Jeez! Fine! But you can't watch me. I know that makes no sense; just humour me."

Renee Brandon

Okay, okay. -she smiles victoriously as she turns in her seat so her back is to him and waits patiently for him to start singing-

Jake

-At least she honoured his request by turning her back to him. He turns in his seat too so they're now back to back. He shakes his head as he takes in a deep breath and considers what the hell he's going to sing. After disregarding the first few songs that come to mind, Jake starts to sing 'Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now' by Starship. Was it a cheesy as all hell song? Yeah but it was a classic and he's kinda hoping Renee will join in to sing along with him to hide how bad he thinks he is-

Renee Brandon

-Renee sits patiently, watching out the window as she waits for Jake to sing. Then he starts singing and she bites down on her lower lip as she listens to him. He's not bad at all and she enjoys his singing in silence while swaying in her seat to the song-

Jake

-He can feel her swaying along to the song as he sings and he takes that as a good sign, that maybe he's not so bad at singing after all. Not that he'll be singing karaoke in the Community Centre any time soon. When he reaches the part when the woman singer takes over, he nudges Renee with his elbow, indicating that's her cue to join in-

Renee Brandon

-she's been humming along but she's caught off guard when he nudges her- Me? -he can't see it but she's blushing. She takes a minute to recall the words before very softly taking over the song-

Jake

"Yeah, you."

-He grins as she starts to sing, her voice soft but he can hear every note in the silence of the rest of the room. After a couple of moments of just listening, he starts to smack his hands on his thighs as if he was playing drums to accompany her. When she reaches the chorus, he joins in with singing along with her-

Renee Brandon

-she looks over her shoulder at him as she sings, wishing she could see his face and see if she was as bad as she thought she was. but he doesn't laugh or do anything except starting to play the drums on his legs, which she takes as a good sign and keeps singing even when he joins back in-

Jake

-This is going better than Jake could have ever expected. Not that he was planning on a repeat performance any time soon. They reached the end of the song and Jake clapped his hands-

"Not too shabby, huh?"

Renee Brandon

-as the song ends and he claps she laughs and turns around- Yeah, not too shabby. You're not a bad singer, by the way.

Jake

-He's conflicted about her compliment. He wants all the praise he can get but at the same, he can't quite believe she means it, just saying it to be nice, even though he knows Renee wouldn't bullshit him for the sake of it.-

"Thanks. You're good, you know?"

Renee Brandon

You don't have to lie, you know. I cannot carry a tune. You only think I sounded good because you were singing.

Jake

-He turns in his seat so he can face her with the look of disbelief he's currently wearing-

"You think I'd lie to you?"

Renee Brandon

-Renee sits up a bit and quickly realizes what it was she said- Oh....no, that's not what I meant. I just meant that..... -she smiles awkwardly and shifts in her seat- Gimme a second to pull my foot out of my mouth.

Jake

-Almost immediately his face softens and he gives her a gentle smile instead-

"Just take the compliment, Brandon."

Renee Brandon

-Renee laughs awkwardly but in relief- Alright, fine. I will take the compliment.

Jake

"Alright, good."

-He gives her a smile and looks back around the room before letting out a chuckle-

"Back to eye spy?"

Renee Brandon

-she glances around when he does and nods- You still haven't guessed what I saw that is green.

Jake

-He looks around the room, really looks, trying to spot this green thing. He doesn't spot it yet so time to make a wild guess-

"Tree?"

Renee Brandon

-Renee laughs as she shakes her head- Nope, try again.

Jake

"Frog?"

Renee Brandon

Close, but no.

Jake

"Don't tell me there's a Bulbasaur in here?"

Renee Brandon

I mean, the voice of Bulbasaur is, but no, there's not one in here. -she laughs as she shakes her head-

Jake

"But I wasn't actually Bulbasaur, I was Harry who's consciousness got swapped into a Bulbasaur- You know what? That's not important. Something green, something green, that's like a frog but not a frog."

Renee Brandon

Oh trust me, I know. Oliver would watch that movie on repeat, if he could. -she laughs as he keeps looking- Do you give up?

Jake

"Do I look like the kind of guy to give up so easy? A toad? The Incredible Hulk? Other such green things!"

Renee Brandon

-Renee was laughing harder and harder with each thing he named off. She shook her head as she felt how warm her face was- You can't just give some blanket statement like that! That's cheating!

Jake

"Why not? Who said it was cheating? How dare you?"

-At this point, he's just saying stuff to make Renee laugh more-

Renee Brandon

-Renee can't even get a word out, she is laughing that hard. She has the bury her face in her hands because she's laughing and struggling to breathe but in a good way- You are ridiculous!

Jake

-Jake is now laughing too. It feels refreshing for the two of them to be laughing like this.-

"Fine! I've run out of green things. What is it?"

Renee Brandon

-Renee takes a minute to compose herself before holding up a finger while standing up. She walks over to one of the desks and picks up a green pen that was sitting on top of it- Tada!

Jake

-He watches as Renee pulls herself together and walks across the room. He groans loudly as she picks up the pen.

"How was I supposed to see that tiny thing from here?!"

Renee Brandon

-Renee puts it down and starts laughing again - I'm a mother, Jake. I see everything.

Jake

-Jake grins as Renee starts to laugh again. It's a sound he'll never tire of after all.-

"Everything? You didn't see how our kids were gonna trick us and lock us in together."

-He cants his head to one side and clicks his tongue.-

"Not that I saw it coming either so I shouldn't mention that ever again!"

Renee Brandon

You're right, you didn't see that either. And it was your little mastermind that came up with it. -her laughter quiets just a bit as she nudges him- Your turn.

Jake

-He acknowledges the fact it was his kid behind the plan with a short hum, his lips briefly setting in a thin line. But he shrugs that off and starts looking around the room for his object to spy-

"Considering you see everything, I'm guessing you're gonna get it in, like, one guess. I'd bet on it, actually!"

Renee Brandon

Oh yeah? What are you willing to bet? -she doesn't think she will but if he wants to make things interesting, why not?-

Jake

"A dance."

-The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them. Dancing led to certain things the last time they tried it, the same certain things Jake was trying his best not to think about.-

Renee Brandon

-Renee ponders it for a moment. It could be a bad idea, but they were alone in here. Where was the harm in that?- You're on

Jake

-He grins as she accepts the wager-

"So, in that case! I spy with my beady little eye, something that's... yellow."

Renee Brandon

-Renee ponders in thought as she glances around the room. Her eyes are scanning for anything remotely yellow- The glow of the lights from the community center?

Jake

-He looks smug-

"Nope!"

Renee Brandon

Damn. -she looks around again- My hair?

Jake

-He continues to look smug as he shakes his head-

Renee Brandon

You know because you bet I would get it on the first try that I technically win this bet, right? -she laughs a little as she looks around- The book on the top shelf?

Jake

"You might have won the bet but you haven't yet won this round of eye-spy because that's your third wrong guess."

Renee Brandon

-Renee laughed as she shook her head- Alright, I give up. What is it?

Jake

"You didn't even list all the possible yellow things it might be!"

-He gets to his feet and walks over to the bookcase on one side of the room. There he picks up the yellow object: a small rubber ducky-

"I can't believe you didn't see this!"

Renee Brandon

-Renee laughs as she watches him walk victoriously over to the rubber ducky- Maybe I cheated and didn't say it so I could win the bet. -she was teasing, of course-

Jake

-He hands her the ducky-

"I reckon you should keep that as a souvenir for prom night. Did you really cheat? And here I was thinking you're an upstanding citizen!"

Renee Brandon

I will treasure it forever. -she laughs as she takes the ducky and shakes her head- No, I didn't. I'm just as fallible as anyone else.

Jake

"Well, you won the bet. You want your prize now or..."

Renee Brandon

-Renee laughs under her breath as she sets the rubber duckie down on the desk and stands up- I think now is a good as time as any.

Jake

"I just wanna make it clear: I'm not singing and dancing at the same time, OK?"

Renee Brandon

-she laughs and shakes her head- That's fine, I can live with that. But I do get to ask what song you're singing in your head so I at least know what rhythm you're imagining.

Jake

"Will 'What's Up' by the 4 Non-Blonds work for you?"

Renee Brandon

Yeah, that'll work just fine. -she laughs as she wraps her arms around his shoulders gently-

Jake

-He makes sure to put his hands in perfectly respectable places and they start swaying together to the imaginary music.-

"Having fun?"

Renee Brandon

Yes, loads of fun. -she smiles as she sways with him. She does feel a bit silly dancing to non-existent music but it fits with Jake- You?

Jake

-She seems to mean it when she says she's having fun. He gives her a smirk-

"Considering nothing has gone to plan for tonight, I wouldn't change a thing."

Renee Brandon

Nothing? And what did you have planned tonight?

Jake

"Getting tricked by my kids wasn't on my itinerary."

Renee Brandon

Really? That's shocking.-She laughs- what was on your itinerary?

Jake

"Hmm, let's see..."

-Jake is about to list the various activities he had hoped to indulge in tonight but the sound of someone running down the corridor outside, followed by someone banging on the locked door interrupted him-

"YOU BANGING YET?"

-Erin yells followed by the sound of her laughter. The sound of more rapidly approaching footsteps echo down the corridor as the rest of the kids join Erin on the other side of the door.-

"How many times do I have to ask you to stop asking that?"

-Jake yelled back to his youngest. He looked back at Renee-

"I'm so sorry about her."

Renee Brandon

-It took Renee a second to register what Erin yelled. When it did, her face turned beat red and she covered her mouth to stifle the laughter- Did you teach her that?

Jake

-For half a moment, Jake is appalled that Renee would ask him that. But then he remembers that, actually, it's pretty on brand for him.-

"No, I didn't."

-He goes over to the door and tries the door handle again. It's still locked-

"You gonna let us out?"

-There was a scuffle on the other side of the door, with raised voices between the kids as they argued about whether or not to let their parents out.-

"Do you promise we're not in trouble if we do?"

"I'll promise that if all of you promise to never try anything like this again."

-Jake glances over at Renee to see if she wants to add anything as the kids discussed the terms of the agreement some more-

Renee Brandon

-Renee can't help herself and laughs as she watches Jake walk over to the door. She can hear the kids on the outside as they discuss their next steps. So she walks up next to Jake- You have until three to open this door. One.....two...... -she smirks at Jake victoriously as the door unlocks and opens-

Jake

-Jake is impressed as Renee uses her stern mom voice. As if on cue, the door is finally unlocked and it swings open. Jake is now faced with his Hawks and Renee's kiddos. The majority of the kids look fairly sheepish. Except Erin. Because of course she looks as proud as punch about this whole thing.-

"We're gonna have a talk about the pitfalls of imprisoning people against their wills, Squirt."

-He tells Erin who just grins up at him, no regrets to be seen in her demeanour as she starts to fill her Pops in what he had missed-

"Willow gave Mr David a flower crown and he wore it."

Renee Brandon

-Renee turns her attention to the other side of the door as it opens and she gives her boys the look. But she softens and holds her arms out so her boys can run up and hug her- Sorry, Mommy -her boys said it unison and she shakes her head as she kisses the top of her head. She picks up Henry as Erin tells Jake about David and she can't help but laugh- You should go see if he's still wearing it. I don't think you'll want to miss it.

Jake

"You gonna be OK?"

-Jake blurts the question out before considering how Renee was obviously going to be OK but he doesn't take it back.-

Renee Brandon

-the questions catches her off guard and she gives him a smile with how sweet he is- I'm probably going to take these guys home. Henry has tired eyes. But, uh....I feel better. You go have fun.

Jake 

-Not for the first time tonight, Jake is nearly overwhelmed by the want to take Renee into his arms. He resists and instead gives her a smile.-

"Thanks for the dance."

-With that, he turns his attention back to his kids.-

"Take me to the flower crowns!"

[deadjaywalking]

Okay, more hc of Bruce as my dad, now some bad too. Because my dad wasn't perfect.

He would think very highly of young people trying to help others, but when his kids do it he is harsh and mean, because even if he is proud of doing what he taught them, he is too scared something will happen to them. This is what happened with Dick when he fired him as Robin and he became nightwing.

It's also word for word what happened with my sister, my dad got teary eyed seeing young people at protests, but when my sister started to go he hated it (because there was a lot of police brutality, people ended up dead or injured).

He loves his partners with all his body and might and when he decides he is going to be with someone, he is all in. He doesn't lead people on. He loves so much, it feels like his love is physically surrounding you. My dad's quote to my mom saying she felt loved "it's because no one has ever loved like I have, my life" in English it doesn't sound as romantic (my mom's ex was a narcissistic who broke her heart badly and left her to raise two kids alone).

He gets angry, too angry, he yells, his voice is strong it feels like you can't exist in the same room as him being angry. Not because you are afraid, but because he can't handle himself. You feel it in the air.

People fear him, do as he says and act like God has spoken because he did. But his kids, even if he is imposing, see it as a challenge to argue with him. They have never feared him once they saw him as their dad.

He carries so much guilt and truly hates himself for what he didn't do. The past haunts him, and he makes sure his kids know everything about the ugly world they live in, so it doesn't swallow them. But by doing that, he hurts them. He just wants them to be prepared.

He never had an actual father growing up (Alfred was his father but he didn't fill the role as he should've), so he doesn't know what he is doing and since he was really independent as a kid, doesn't want be overbearing. So he watches his kids when and where they can't see, because he wants to be there, but doesn't want to be annoying. His kids would die to know he was actually there when they graduated or something big happened. He understands he should've told them he was there too late, and the damage was done. He makes it right with Damian, the youngest.

Hey guys I'm like violently depressed can you send me some Bruce Wayne headcanons to make me feel better. Please.

[rainbowsky]

Final thoughts on the Wuji candy

Thanks to everyone who wrote in with asks, and also those who shared their thoughts in the comments of my post about the Wuji recording comic.

Rather than answer a bunch of asks about this and make this topic the dominant thing on my blog for the next few days, I'm just going to respond to everything in one post. Sorry to anyone who is disappointed they didn't get a direct reply.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

I understand people on both sides of the fence - those who are really excited about the candy and believe it was shared in good faith, and those who have concerns about it. I personally think this candy is probably totally fine, and maybe even a positive thing given how it's changed the conversation in the fandom and cheered a lot of people up, but I do have some mixed feelings and I think it's legitimate to have reservations about the whole thing.

Everyone gets to form their own opinions. Hopefully we can all respect each other and not get too argumentative over it.

There are valid perspectives on both sides:

Negative

The thing that bothered me the most about this candy is that it violates the central turtle precept that 'everything is fake'. She did handle things somewhat carefully, but I found it jarring and a bit scandalous to have someone connected to them do something so brazen without couching it in 'fake'.

She didn't just confirm they were holding hands, she heavily implied a romantic connection between the two of them. She talked about love and romance and cast herself as a turtle. While it's not directly outing them or a direct threat, I can totally understand why some people are concerned about a real-life connection of theirs talking like that so openly (for reasons I explained in the first point above).

The NDA comment had me raising my eyebrows, and I can see I wasn't alone in that. A lot of people expressed that as the main issue they had with it. And it raises so many questions. The NDA for The Untamed expired long ago - is this a personal NDA that has expired, enabling her to share? Was the NDA the only thing holding her back from sharing this type of thing? She promised more candy in the future. Should we be worried about what else she might share? Should we be worried about other associates whose NDAs expire (and might perhaps be less well-intended toward them)? Are other associates of theirs going to start speaking openly about their relationship? All of these questions are totally understandable. I personally lean toward thinking she was probably just trying to deflect any potential criticism about privacy, but I definitely felt weird about the way she phrased it.

Posting it openly on her social media made her a central part of the story, when the focus of candy like this should be on GG and DD. This was also a major concern for some people. I think this one can be argued both ways. I mean, it can be said that by making it focused around her she prevented it from being too broadly connected to GG and DD.

We didn't need any conformation. The emoji was enough. Several people expressed this feeling, and I tend to agree.

A lot of people have stated they feel she's attention-seeking, and that the posts were exploitative. I think she opens herself up to those accusations/concerns by making these public posts/comments, but so does anyone who is connected with them who discusses them in any way. Even someone wishing them a birthday greeting or something gets those accusations. Unfortunately being massively famous makes people assume bad motives. The covid heart candy post had similar accusations against it. This is just the way these things go.

Positive

It is a sweet candy.

At least at face value, she appears to really care about GG and DD and to be someone who is excited about them as a couple. She has something of a track record of this from way back in 2018/19, so this isn't a put-on thing just for this moment. She has consistently expressed interest in and excitement about them.

Whether coincidentally or not, it was well-timed to reassure and energize turtles at a time when people were feeling low about the whole anti video from last week. We were expecting a candy after that, and it looks like we got one - even if it was from an unexpected source. It has successfully changed the conversation and turned things around quite a bit, and that might be intentional.

The characteristics of this video/situation appear to be strikingly effective at downplaying the credibility of the anti video from last week. The anti video was filmed surreptitiously, while this one was openly and legally taken with GG and DD's full knowledge. No legitimate witness has corroborated the malicious impression that there was anything special going on between GG and the other subject in the anti video, meanwhile a known public figure has gone on the record with this video to say that GG and DD were on good terms and held hands.

Cheng Yi and the whole handholding thing went to the top of the entertainment hot search, in the top two positions. Those hot searches were left up, yet the one about the anti video was pushed down (aka GG and his team likely paid to have the anti video hot search suppressed, yet allowed these Wuji ones to remain). While neither of the hot searches would necessarily be associated with GG and DD in most people's minds (they don't mention their names or fandom names), it's hard to imagine that similar searches connected to that anti video would have been left up.

As I said in the previous discussion, there is a lot of plausible deniability baked into this situation. GG and DD were singing a song for the soundtrack of a series they shot together. It was years ago. Even if video footage of them holding hands during recording was released, I'm not sure that it would have much impact outside the circles who already care about this type of thing. Most people would likely dismiss it as fan service or two guys joking around. The whole thing strikes me as pretty harmless.

It's not like GG and DD have really been hiding their relationship anyway.

GG and DD are under more scrutiny than ever (as are all prominent people in China), and with projects set to come out they are at less liberty to take risks. I think that it's possible we will see more candy from people in their entertainment circle, rather than directly from GG and DD themselves.

I am not saying this candy was something GG and DD personally sanctioned (it's possible, of course, but we'll never know), I'm saying that given the climate, there are likely people closer to them who understand the limitations GG and DD are under right now and who will want to reassure turtles when they are upset.

I believe that GG and DD care about - and need - turtles. I've talked about that a lot in the past, here's just one example. I don't think GG and DD, nor the people who care about them, will stand by and let turtles be attacked or heartbroken in ways that could threaten the fandom. Look at OOL airing, which ended up being a huge candy dump from GG.

They're looking out for us just as we're looking out for them. That is how I see it. Others might disagree, but that's my perspective on it.

Edit: More on fan perceptions here.

Anyway, thanks again for being so engaged with this topic. The discussions and perspectives have been interesting. For now I'm going to not take any more asks about this unless there is new information or a perspective that substantially adds to or shifts the conversation in some way.

Edit: I have learned that she went on to try to profit from turtles in ways that made them very uncomfortable, and I no longer believe that she is trustworthy or that anything she has shared was done with GG and DD's consent. I doubt she still has any connection with them at all.

Update: more on this here.

[darklinaforever]

DAEMON TARGARYEN, ABLE TO LOVE HIS CHILDREN ?

"I think Daemon loves his children to a certain extent but just not as some other parents might, I mean he literally tells Mysaria he's glad that she can't get pregnant and in the books he doesn't really show any grief when she miscarried , though thst can be argued bc he did get a hardness when it came to Viserys after that "

Good. To start, let's talk about this moment in the series. Daemon at this time is not a father. He does not know fatherhood, and he is still young. For information, many people do not want children at some point in their life, that does not mean that they will love their children less than those who have always wanted them, once they have them. This perspective is ridiculous, and based on literally sure nothing. (Hello Rhaenyra?) Also, it's forgotten that Daemon was actually considering having children with Mysaria before she revealed to him that it was impossible, and also that in episode 4, when Rhaenyra told him that Rhea Royce was lucky, as he didn't impregnate him, Daemon simply retorts that it would be impossible to raise children/develop them properly in such a hostile environment. These elements therefore indicate that in reality Daemon is not at all against the very idea of having children. And if Daemon was definitely against this idea, I doubt he would have had 4 under his belt, and almost 6 in fact, if you count the lost babies of Laena and Rhaenyra.

Seriously, assuming you can't love your kids right because you didn't want them before is so stupid... There are tons of parents who wanted kids who ultimately don't love their kids right, or even not at all for some. And conversely there are tons of parents loving their children when before they didn't want them. Where does this bullshit argument come from?!

When Mysaria has a miscarriage in the book, it is said that (from my French version that I translate) "When the news reached Prince Daemon, he did not utter a single syllable of sorrow, but his heart was hardened against the king his brother. From then on, he no longer spoke of King Viserys except with disdain". So, I don't know what more you need to understand that yes, Daemon was definitely impacted by the death of his child and resented Viserys for this loss. To think that he didn't experience grief because he didn't express it conventionally / or it wasn't described as such, (especially in a book told as a biased historical narrative and not a normal novel) is nonsense.

Then, when Daemon had his daughters, his first instinct was to extend his hand of reconciliation to Viserys to meet them and bless them so that Daemon could properly introduce them to the court. He also always defended his stepsons against accusations of bastardy. He plotted Blood and Cheese to avenge Luke's death, "son for son." ", and killed Aemond by literally planting Dark Sister in his eye "An eye for an eye". Beyond that, Daemon was always by Rhaenyra's side during the births of his children with her. Because yes, if he did it for baby Visenya, there's no reason to think he didn't do it for the others. When the war broke out, Daemon also sent Rhaena to the Vale, a place he deeply hates, indicating that he is swallowing his pride in order to keep his daughter safe. Without talking about the fact that he did not punish Baela for having sex outside marriage, staggering for the time. So, frankly, to say that he loves his children, but not in the way other parents would, is of course not based. Or worse, that he wouldn't like them at all (as some go so far as to say sometimes). Daemon loves his children, even those who are not biologically his own. It's that simple, and I don't understand why so many people try to downplay this clearly evident aspect of the book.

[xtinyslip]

"YOU MUST STOP CALLING ME THAT! THAT'S NOT WHO I AM, IT'S A UNFORTUNATE STORY BUT THAT'S NEVER WHO I WAS. IT'S JUST WHAT I WAS MADE TO BELIEVE ONCE. OH, DO MAKE YOUR MIND. YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE I'M THE WORST FOR WANTING YOU AROUND WHEN YOU WANTED TO BE AROUND JUST AS MUCH?" it could have slapped her in the face and she wouldn't have known to call it love then. she had no idea what love was then. she wasn't denying now that her father had loved her in his own way all this time. that didn't mean, however, that she knew love the same way as anyone else did. how could she have then? "… it was. yes, i -- it's embarrassing to think, i know but i didn't know any other way. that was my sad little life. he made it all about him, and i let him." it had been just her and her father for really as long as she could recall. of course, she had the faintest memories of her mother but she had been so young when she lost her. "YOU'RE BEING SERIOUS, AREN'T YOU? YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" snapping at how he dared, after everything that she went through because he'd been talked into believing that once, and he was using that against her again now. it was difficult in the moment to keep in mind that he wasn't aware of that, it didn't really do much to take away the sting of his words right now. "… i was." they'd both forgotten about her, that was karma being a true bitch. "if he has no recollection either, i…" emotions starting to become overwhelming, just when she thought grief was going to be the biggest bitch and now there was whatever she was feeling right now. knowing he was alive, and seemingly happy healed her heart but knowing he could be all those things without her shattered it all over again. it was selfish, but then she always had been and always would be. "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?" because she was telling the truth, and the truth made no sense if he couldn't remember. "what happened to our sweet, little gabi was a tragedy and i…" she sighed. "i am sorry. i have every intention of fully making this up to her in any way that i can." uh, well, it might not have been strictly true before but it was now. "most would argue what he did to me was well deserved. you do not need to apologise for his actions. it's fine." was it? how could she tell him that elaine had done so much WORSE that what her father had done was currently a distant memory. "you." yes, that was the simplistic answer but she didn't really see what good giving deep into any answers she gave would do right now. "i don't want or need anything from you. just you." she didn't need him to play some part in another scam, she certainly didn't need money… if that's what he was getting at? she just wanted him. "i know." cecilia had a hard expression, and when she couldn't manage hard, she could manage unreadable but she when she acknowledged he was right about what he was saying… she had felt her expression break for a moment. it might have been the briefest of moments but it had happened, probably at the same time she felt that last remaining piece of herself break too. will was a good man, they both were and they didn't deserve to be tangled up in her shit but how the fuck did she just let them go? "alright." wanting him to stop, to just shut up because she was really trying to keep it together and not cry but she could feel the emotion building into a lump in her throat. one she was struggling to swallow down. "here's the issue. you and will are the people who keep my world turning and in a fucked up version of events. you both don't remember even half the shit we've been through together here, and i'll accept that it's karma. i was a heartless monster in the past, i deserve it but you saying leave us be doesn't help me. HOW DOES ONE DO THAT? HOW DO I JUST LET YOU GO?" tears streamed down her face and she was so angry that they were betraying her like that. that they were showing him how vulnerable she was actually feeling that her hands clenched into fists. "… i want a glass of that strong bottle of wine first." @fcdcdmcmories

"AH, YES. IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU AND ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT. ISN'T IT? WHATEVER CECILIA PEDERSON WANTS, SHE GETS. NO MATTER WHO ENDS UP HURT IN THE PROCESS.AND I DID STAY, DIDN'T I? UNTIL THE END. IT'S CALLED THAT FOR A REASON. the end. this is my life now." this? yes, it was. maybe he had tried to move on in all aspects, but.. this - the restaurant - was the only on that he had been successful on. sometimes? he felt as if he'd never be able to love anyone right - not in the way that he had loved her. was he always going to be stuck there? in the past? "always about him, isn't it? your father this, your father that. of course you were the one that made it out alive. YOU'RE TOO MUCH LIKE HIM NOT TO, AREN'T YOU?" was that meant to be an insult? right now, yes, it was. she had come here and was apparently right after turning his life around and he was.. angry and frustrated and every single thing in between right now. and more.. he dare not name. "no, you didn't. what the hell are you talking about? i've told will about what happened to me in the past. about you. about what you did to me. IF YOU WERE THAT CLOSE TO HIM, DON'T YOU THINK I WOULD HAVE HEARD OF THAT BY NOW?" she wasn't.. lying? he looked up, attempting to examine her expression and it didn't seem as if she was. that was what was weird. either he still couldn't see right through her mask or.. maybe, she was telling the truth? how? he buried his face in his hands for a second. all she was doing was giving him a headache. "right. well, the kid may have FORGOTTEN AND FORGIVEN what happened that night, but.. we haven't. gabi still has nightmares about all this. she's still afraid you're going to come back and finish the job. IT'S NOT IN THE PAST." not for his daughter, not for him, but how was it that it didn't seem as if she was lying? of course that this was happening and of course that.. the second that he spent more than five minutes with her, he stopped being able to see through her lies. "i'm--" she wouldn't lie about THAT. would she? he had seen too much over the years to believe that. "look, if that's the case- then.. i'm sorry. i really am. he's a monster, but.. but this town is big enough. you can get away from him for good. if you've really changed? you can have a life of your own here. AND I HOPE YOU FIND IT - WHAT I KNOW YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED, BUT I-" but i'm not a part of that? was that what he had been about to say? he.. he shut himself off, truly looking at her. no, she didn't look like the cecilia he remembered, but that didn't mean anything. did it? "then what do you want, cecilia? truly? no lies. no games. why are you here? what do you want? from this, from me? what?" shaking his head. "i know what i'm saying. i have people i love here. i have a life. and will? he's a good man. he deserves better than to be caught up in your games or, god forbid, your family drama. DON'T. LEAVE HIM BE. LEAVE ME BE. LEAVE... US BE." he froze, looking over at her, opening his mouth for a second as if he wanted to say something, but.. the words died in his throat, as he shook his head again. "no. i've.. i've seen what your love looks like. and i'm not sure i can.. go through all that again." she wasn't leaving, was she? clearly not and right now, he almost did feel.. no, he didn't want to think about what he had felt when he had realised that. fuck. "a small break and then, you leave and i go back to my life. deal? sit. sit and order whatever you want or don't-- i just.." had he just realised that most of the things he had added to the menu had been.. old favourites of hers, that he had used to cook for them back in the day? FUCKING HELL. SUBCONSCIOUS CHOICE MUCH? that wasn't happening, was it? he knew her too well to know that. for a moment, he found himself staring at her hand and.. without thinking, his hand moved upwards for a second, barely touching hers. no, no."THAT TABLE WAS ALREADY--" taken? fucking hell. "fine. i'm listening. better go and get a strong bottle of wine, because clearly, i'm going to need it for this. start talking." / @xtinyslip