#some people might argue that she really didn't mean it or that her heart wasn't really in it

[oveliagirlhaditright]

*takes a deep breath* Casey Gilly's writing in the Boomverse bothers me so much.

And there's a lot I could get into with that. But mainly it's her obvious obsession with S*pike via the comics she's written so far. And how I feel she Draco in Leather Pants him a lot?

[berryz-writes]

Perfectly serious

Summary: Matheo's jealousy and want for you increases after seeing you with Theo to the point where he finally/kind of confesses

Matheo Riddle x reader

His arm wrapped around my waist, bringing me even closer to him. "Come on, let's get you to bed" Theo murmured. I looked up at him confused "I'm not drunk". My head might feel light and I might feel extremely happy and sad at the same time but I was most definitely not drunk.

"Yes you are" He took my hand and led me away from the groups of people dancing together, taking his time to weave us in and around the drinks being passed around. Everyone gave me a smile as I left, Pansy giving me a wink as we passed "I bet he fucks good. Have fun babe!" She said, her words slurring slightly, her voice loud enough for Theo to hear. Maybe if he heard it he would act on it. I wouldn't mind getting in bed with him.

We soon reached my room, the music faded to a low sound coming from below us and the lights softer than the harsh party lights of before.

"Well...night y/n" Theo said.

"You know" I started, my voice low and sultry. "I wouldn't mind if you joined me, made things more interesting. Hm?" I tilted my head waiting for his answer, his eyes searching my face. For what I didn't know.

He gave me a soft smile "Your drunk. And when drunk, your ideas aren't really your own. So as much as I'd like to follow through with your idea, it's best you get some sleep"

I rolled my eyes at him being who he always was. I wished for once he would push the boundaries. "Fine. Night Theo"

"Sweet dreams" He dropped my hand and waited for me to close the door. I could hear his receding footsteps, probably to go up to his own dorm. I was relieved in a way. Maybe I wasn't actually ready to fuck him and it was just the alcohol making me want something more. We were good friends. I didn't want to ruin that for something that I didn't really want. Chocolate brown eyes crossed my mind. Curly hair that would feel so nice running my hands through-. Something that would never happen.

*Potions the next day*

"I didn't see you yesterday" I said to Matheo referring to the party yesterday. Stirring in the crushed up leaves into the steaming potion, I turned to look at him, his eyes were icy and cold as if I had done some personal wrong against him.

"Of course you didn't. You were too busy trying to estimate your chances with Theo. Heads up, princess. He has higher standards"

I ignored the nickname that would usually make me swoon and instead my mouth opened in shock. How fucking rude of him. Was he ok?

"Are you being serious right now?" I stopped stirring the potion and crossed my arms. I could take a joke but come on. He had taken it too far.

"Perfectly serious. Why? Did you think I was nice?" He stood up to tower over me, his minty scent washing over me. His chocolate brown eyes were like daggers into my soul. It hurt knowing someone I was good friends with could switch up so fast.

"No actually, I didn't. Your just like everyone says you are. You get with a girl for your own pleasure, lead her on and then leave her with a broken heart. Your a rude fucking asshole and nothing more"

His jaw clenched at what I said, waiting for me to say anything else. I didn't actually mean it but I would never let anyone disrespect me and not expect anything back.

I realised soon how close we were. If only he were to move slightly closer, I could have tipped my head upwards and kissed him. The fact that I was thinking about that even though he had insulted me was annoying for me. I shouldn't still like him. Not anymore.

"You really mean that?" His voice came out soft, his jaw no longer clenched. As if he understood what I had said. I hesitated. Of course I didn't. How could I? I liked him for fucks sake.

I sighed "I don't know"

He sat back down as if he were tired of our argument. As if he didn't want to argue with me.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said-"

"Let's just forget about it. Ok?" I didn't want to argue either. Maybe he was angry and took it out on me. Fine. I would give him a pass just this once seen as though we were such good friends. (If only we were more than that)

He nodded his head and we worked in silence for the next few minutes. Until he cleared his throat and looked toward me again "Listen y/n. I don't want us to ruin our...friendship for something I've said so let me treat you. Will you be free to come to the diner at eight?"

I paused and raised an eyebrow, smiling slightly "Are you asking me on a date or just as friends?" Confident of me to ask but I wanted to know where we stood.

After a pause he replied with "I'd be happy with either, as long as it's with you"

I thought about my next question "And if I want it to be a date?" I asked quietly.

He smiled "I was hoping you'd say that, princess"

[phryneluvbot]

so, I basically live tweeted my (third) watch of crypt on twitter (it's the same name as in here, if anyone interested), so let me just drop everything I passed by this entire evening:

goofy opening, but where is my dancing silhouette and the 1920's godly music?

detective inspector jack robinson would like to know your location

tip: ALWAYS keep your sight on that woman, ALWAYS

I just love how phryne changed from a golden dress to a red outfit (I love it btw) that quickly, also one of her 8 languages is arabic!? MY GIRL!!

PRISON BREAK OUT FOR AN INNOCENT GIRL WHO WANTS TO SHARE THE TRUTH OF HER VILLAGE?! PHRYNE, YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN

PLEASE GET INSIDE THE TRAIN PHRYNE, PLEASE GET-

oh...

oh...

oh no... she did actually... oh my god no

OMG DOTTIE IS PREGNANT AND VULNERABLE, MUST PROTECT AT ALL COSTS (and hugh too)

(also, the only scene where we saw a part of the wardlow crew - where's mr butler, mac - HER BEST FRIEND, AND JANE, HER DAUGHTER!? COULDN'T WE SEE THEIR REACTIONS!?)

so, he never went after her... makes it even more heartbreaking

he even still saved the photos, his face showing the tears being retracted... I want to hug you so badly jack

"You meant so much more to Phryne"

OK, THAT MAKES IT EVEN MORE PAINFUL, I-

on the floor, crying and sobing

oh, aunt prudence is here (but not phryne's parents, on their daughter's funeral - I might get that most likely they have trauma from Janey and couldn't mark their presence in another funeral for their last daughter, but it would have been nice to be present and meet her boyfriend - aka jack - who is noticeably suffering a lot)

SO, YOU WERE ACTUALLY ALIVE THE LAST 6 WEEKS!? COULD HAVE JUST SENT A LETTER TO SOMEONE, GIRL-

I get it that she didn't knew she was presumed dead, that would have worried everyone she knew and loved, so it was a perfect time to apologize and show the empathic phryne we love

instead it was a "oh" and some awkard smilling

Phryne, I love you, a lot... But you can do better, and especially that you saw the man that loves you the most broken

"I came here for one thing, to farewell you. Farewell" I could hear the pain on his voice, poor Jack...

Well, this scene was iconic

"Jack, are you awake?"

well, he said he wasn't

proceeds to appear on the church moments later

and the man was murdered

and they can't leave england (my condolences)

oh, this is ending badly

"And I am sorry if I am not dead"

phryne, don't say the word "death" to that man again, he thought you died twice in the space of a few months (idk, this movie doesn't even say how after it is from the show). I understand that you might be hurt that he never came after you, I really do, but please, the poor man is still processing that he almost lost you.

also, both (still) don't know what personal space means

(kinky)

oh, so that thing is cursed and... oh, this movie is like if indiana jones was an australian detective, good to know

from the creators of "singing in the rain", we present you "almost kissing in the rain"

oh, you're going to break in his house, so you while use your old stealth black outfit like in melbourne, righ-

why. did you. chose to use. a jumper. with. your. initials. (I still love it, and the entire ouftit, I'd like one of those too please designers)

ooooh, he brought her a gift (and tuxedo jack, meow)

please, both of, learn what personal space is

oooh, they're dancing again... cute

arguing

more arguing

Palestinian man finds out that the people of the country that occupied his country are all douchebags

HE DIED, HE GOT SHOT AT THE HEART, WHY!?

Sharim, I am so sorry...

oh, those guys again... great

well, now they're going to Palestine and find the crypt of tears (OMG IT'S THE NAME OF THE MOVIE)

"I just hope she doesn't fly like she drives"

"I HEARD THAT!"

they are so married

oh, it's a mercenary... well, we're getting of quickly then

bombastic side eye

woman, why are you so hot?

Jack, she just wanted to take the gun, don't worry...

and now they have no guidance, great-

Phryne, we both know how it ends

steps on quicksand

"JaCK, I NEED YOUR HELP!"

Jack continues to not give a fuck after their arguing

"IT'S QUICKSAND"

Jack proceeds to run into her

"I'm not losing you like this, not after all the stupid ways I've nearly lost you."

"WHAT STUPID WAYS?"

Phryne, we both know which stupid ways

not saying a thing, just admiring

ok, they found one of the points of the map, they just need to connect all and boom: entrance found

damn, nice crypt

lesson of the day: don't ever trust "british" man

and it wasn't an accident, YOU MURDERED A VILLAGE AND DOOMED THAT GIRL'S LIFE, THAT IS NOT CALLED AN ACCIDENT

and of course the butler was part of this, and jonathon's father!? Ok...

he thinks he's cursed, blames everything on himself, and wants to die there so he can be free and find forgiveness from the people of the village... I hope you have found forgiveness jonathon, and that your father is going to suffer forever

goodbye sharim, we're all hoping you can motivate many other young girls and women with your spirit

Yeah, trying to shoot a giant spider is a very Phryne thing

Yay, Jack "killed it"

"It's my only fear, Jack. Apart from spending a long flight with Aunt Prudence"

omg, it's going to happen...

"You're afraid if you fall in love with me, I'll turn you into a policeman's wife and... try to stop you from saving the world." Jack, you are so wrong (except on the marriage part, she would only accept one in her own terms)

"And I don't need to marry. I just need your heart, as god knows you've already got mine"

"Jack, I've already gave you my heart a long time ago."

OMG, IT'S ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN

"For a detective you don't notice much"

IT HAPPENED, IT HAPPENED, IT ACTUALLY-

dies in excessive fangirling

THEY FUCKED, THEY FUCKED, THEY ACTUALLY FUCKED!! THE PHRACK SEX IS REAL!!

and it ends with a teaser for a sequel... that atp I think we won't get (hope I am wrong)

well, that was fun, now it's the spin off left (that got cancelled after season 2 of finished-)

[blushydrangea]

im here to ask u ur thoughts in the... pj controversy ehhekekfke i wanna say smthn abt but like i feel as if i dont grasp the whole thing yet so i chose to shut up rn

hi love! under the cut so the people who are tired of discussing this topic can avoid it.

it's a long one!

i know everyone here has likely come across the tweets pj made, but as an archiver at heart i feel the need to break everything down. screenshots aren't mine.

on the 18th, pj made a tweet about fellow drag queen and artist chappell roan, questioning the authenticity of her love for drag. most people (me included!) thought she was trolling, which unfortunately didn't happen to be the case. plane appeared to be under the impression that chappell was mean or cold towards drag queens she invited to her shows, something she allegedly heard about in boston and, according to some people on reddit so take this with a grain of salt, was debunked. she followed her tweet with another, ironically saying "i love chappell roan". the first tweet was then deleted.

after several people accused plane jane of trying to gatekeep drag from women & having an unfair opinion deeply rooted in misogyny, pj released a notes app screenshot on the 19th. however, going against the purpose of most notes screenshots, hers wasn't an apology. instead, she chose to call out the hypocrisy of people attacking her because they were calling her a man (it's important to note that pj hasn't directly told us what her ood pronouns are afaik).

she made some more shady tweets after that and argued with stans on social media but i don't feel like including these, so the last update we have was this apology pj made for her fandom.

before i speak my mind on this, i just wanna say that i am willing to discuss this as long as people are polite, any aggressive messages i might receive will be promptly deleted.

to be honest, i didn't like what she said. being a person with a platform and, let's be real, several crazy stan accounts who follow her word like gospel, it was wrong in my opinion to call a growing lesbian artist (one of the very few we have, at that) performative for her love of drag. someone who also engages in the *checks notes* performative art of drag. there isn't much of a "bag" to be secured by pretending you love drag, as it's not that mainstream, and i can't help but wonder if pj would have the same criticism were chappell a gay man instead of a lesbian woman.

misogyny is real and it's present in all of us, we were all raised to see women as less than. pj is white and male-presenting with her makeup off, she isn't incapable of misogyny because she is gay or a drag queen. therefore, it rubbed me in the wrong way to see her voice out the same beliefs i've heard from other gay men before – that women deserve to be questioned whenever they exist in drag spaces. i don't agree with the sentiment that pj meant women shouldn't do drag, as she never said that. though she honestly reminded me of those men who ask me very specific and tricky questions about the tree of gondor or whatever when i tell them i love the lord of the rings. are you a true fan?

her notes app statement was what pissed me off. she was really immature imo, ofc she's only 26 so there's room for growth, but twisting a situation you inserted yourself in to seem like the victim based on... people calling you a cis man? come on. it was a self-centered statement made by someone who seemed to refuse to take any criticism on this subject matter. i was very disappointed she chose the "but you are wrong too!" route instead of apologizing to the people she hurt.

her apology to her fandom was... fine, i guess. it served to show me that she seems to be comfortable living in her bubble.

do i think she's a bad person? no, i don't. but i do think she had a misogynistic take and doubled down on it because she refuses to admit she was wrong. i'm staying away from her for the time being, i'll probably get over it eventually but rn i don't wanna see her face all that much. no judgement whatsoever to people who forgave her and are still posting about her, it's your blog, do what you want <3

[copperbadge]

I know that it’s been a Very Long Time but do you ever get terribly nostalgic for old/less active fandoms? I confess I recently came back to tumblr and saw that I followed you. I was like, of course Sam storyteller, the Bucky guy. But then I got a hankering for my older and dearer by far love Ianto Jones and went back to reread some of the greatest hits and I remembered. You are not the Loki guy. You are the Ianto guy, to me, and I can’t believe I forgot that. I miss that fandom so much it was so fucking. Toxic. The Gwen bashing, I simply cannot romanticize it in good conscience. But the fic quality and diversity was, dare I say it, nearly unparalleled (in my heart). Like when it hit it really hit you know? A golden age of trashy sci fi indeed. I miss my dead welsh son. Sorry to ramble in your ask box about the dubious old days

Anon, I am so sorry, a bunch of my asks got pushed way down in the inbox and then I forgot they were there, so apologies this is MONTHS late in getting posted.

I, eh, I don't really get nostalgic for old fandoms. Usually I leave them for a reason, but even if I just drift away, my experience of a fandom is pretty fundamentally different from most because of my higher profile. There are things I can't do or say in a fandom that other people could, and there are things that happen to me outside of my control. They're not even necessarily bad things, just stuff like...I'll write a fic in a new fandom, and people from my previous fandom will start engaging with the canon because I did. So often, rather than just falling away from a fandom, I'll leave a fandom and drag a bunch of people with me. They might not even leave the older fandom, but they come along to the new one too.

And often the wanks that pull people in without their consent simply don't touch me because there's a portion of fandom that is either scared of me (or my readers) or just doesn't want anything to do with me. I can't determine which.

Torchwood's a pretty good case in point -- the Gwen bashing was extreme. I wasn't a fan of Gwen but what I saw from the antigwenallies was really, really gross. Still, even though I wrote fic about Gwen and engaged in meta around her presence in the show, I avoided them and thus had exactly one interaction with them ever, which was when they posted up a fic of mine as "anti-Gwen" and I asked them to remove it and never recc anything of mine again. They did, and that was the end of that. Nobody ever came to my posts to attack her or me. Likewise, there was one really, really aggressive anti-Ianto wanker, but she never engaged with me or even as far as I know talked about me, despite the fact I was a huge Ianto fan and wrote a lot of fic about him. I really hated the shit she said, but I also didn't see any value in arguing, so I left her alone and she left me alone. (I won't name her because I checked up on her a few years ago and it turns out she was struggling with serious mental health issues that she'd gotten a lot of help for, and felt really terrible about the things she'd done, so I'm actually quite proud of her. But if you know you know.)

I also just...have a bad memory, so I often don't remember what happened in a fandom, or even sometimes that I was in a fandom. Most of the memories I do have are either vaguely warm and friendly, or "avoid this fandom/person at all costs" based in a negative interaction (which I sometimes don't remember the details of).

So yeah...I mean, Torchwood ended pretty terribly so I don't miss it in part because I try not to think about it. Generally if I have a good time in a fandom and then leave it, it's because I simply said all I had to say there. But I'm usually looking forward, not back, just because the past is a bit of a fog bank for me, most of the time.

[a34trgv2]

The Problem With Toxic Relationships

TRIGGER WARNING: This post will talk about and use images that involve abuse, depression and anxiety. Viewer discretion is advised. You've been warned.

Recently I've noticed shows and movies casually display toxic relationships either for comedic purposes or as innocent child's play. It has disgusted and angered me to the point that I have to ask "Are you people sick or something?!" This post will highlight some egregious examples of toxic relationships and why they're harmful to not just storytelling, but to the oblivious audience members.

What is a toxic relationship? Well, if it was literal, it would mean being in a relationship with a vat of radioactive chemicals. In reality, it's when you're in a relationship (be it romantic or platonic) with someone who's just an awful person. One infamous example of a toxic relationship is with Brian and Stewie from Family Guy. You'd think a talking dog and a talking baby would be the best of friends. Oh, how wrong you are! Brian is an inconvenience to Stewie at best as the former has bullied, humilated, lied and even hurt him. Stewie's not much better as he beats the living snot out of Brian for $50, tortured his siblings to get tickets to Hannah Montana and thrashed his car with a baseball bat. It may be played for laughs, but it still paints a clear picture that these 2 might as well be mortal enemies. Whatever good moments they have between them is outweighed by the moments where they're at each others throats.

This is a good time to talk about one of the worst tropes in media. The "loving bully" trope is a story telling device that just casually normalizes bullying as a means of expressing romantic feelings as opposed to being a stupid and harmful act cause by stupid and harful kids because they're stupid and harmful. The most recent and worst example of thus trope is in The Loud House, where Ronnie Anne picks on and humiliates Lincoln because she has a crush on him. And rather than do something about it when his sisters find out, they squel with joy and see it as love as first sight. Pardon my French but WHAT THE FLOP??!!! Not only is this a very forced way to develop sympathy for the bully, but it also lies to the audience, who in this case are children. A bully picking on you is NOT your childhood sweet heart. They're your worst enemy and they need to be dealt with post haste.

I'd be remissing myself if I didn't talk about the infamous Seddie arc from iCarly. In my personal opinion, THIS was the worst case scenario for a show that started out really good. Sam was nothing short of a bully to Freddie, with multiple instances of her insulting him, hurting him, humilating him and even stealing from him. It was always because she thought it was funny, not because she had feeling for him. By having them be in a relationship, they did EXACTLY what you think they would play out if a bully and their victim got together. They constantly argued, they made everyone feel uncomfortable, they showed next to no chemistry with each other and made Carly the mediator between the two. If they were adults and this wasn't a kids show, Freddie would be getting abused hard.

Speaking of abuse, that's exactly what Joker did to Harley Quinn across several different incarnations. Time and again, Joker abused, humilated, belittled and verbally assaulted her because to him, she's just a means to an end. While this is normal taken very seriously, this toxic relationship between her and Joker was downplayed in Suicide Squad as well as in her appearance in DC Superhero Girls. I understand wanting to do something new with Harley Quinn, downplaying or flat out ignoring her backstory as an abuse victim is the equivalent to saying Bruce Waynes parents were seriously hurt but not shot by Joe Cool. Abuse should not be downplayed or ignored, because that makes victims of actual abuse feel more depressed than they actually are.

Victims of toxic relationships are often depressed, anxious, suicidal, and even bitter towards people who want to help. In Lilo & Stitch, after being bullied by Mertle and her friends, Lilo is depressed and choose to lie on the floor listening to Elvis "to die" she says. See, a lesser movie or show (looking at you, Family Guy) would portray the fallout of toxic relationships as comedic or no big deal. As someone who was lied to by former friends way too many times to count, I can assure you that it's NOT funny or anything less than a big deal living with the fact that I was in a toxic relationship. Some people straight up refuse to trust anyone after the last person they trust was a toxic disgrace to humanity. Other victims of toxic relationships, such as Helga from Hey Arnold or Valiente from Ferdinand, become toxic themselves after experiencing a toxic relationship with their loved ones. The toxicity of someone's personality can even drive the victim to suicide, such as Neil from the Dead Poet's Society. The fallout of a toxic relationship is often more difficult to deal with than the actual relationship.

Ultimately, what I want aspiring writers to take away from this post is to NOT make light or glorify toxic relationships. Whether it's with terrible friends, abusive love ones or your run of the mill bully, audiences shouldn't see toxic relationships as anything more or less than dangerous and stupid. To conclude, I'll be sharing abuse and suicidal hotlines to victims of toxic relationships. If you are a victim, you're not alone. You're not worthless, you're not stupid and you're not unworthy of love.

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233 or Text START to 88788

Suicide And Crisis Hotline: 988

National Institute of Mental Health: 1-800-273-8255 or send a text to 838255 to speak to a VA responder.

Stop Bullying:

[scoonsalicious]

you've got me invested with Unwanted! and I've got stuff I wanted to say. First off, buckle up because this is a long one. Second, I'm not defending him in anyway shape, or form, Bucky is still an absolute piece of shit for what he's done. BUT I will say, I do see why it came to that point. I mean, the obvious manipulation from she who i will not name correctly. look, Jusepie is smart, I'll give her that, bc she's so calculated about every single interaction she and Bucky have. The way she played into his insecurity, self-doubt, and fears, it didn't come off as a surprise to me why Bucky went down that rabbit hole. I saw it this way, Jordan made his fears worse unbeknownst to him, she's the reason why Pocket and him are arguing more and causing a rift in their relationship, AND THEN she throws in that life vest of "oh i understand you more, you can be open to me because we're basically the same person" so she seems like the good guy in the eyes of Bucky. it's kinda like, you push someone who can't swim in a pool without them knowing, and then you save them from drowning so at the end, you still end up being a hero even tho you caused the problem in the first place?

THEN you add the layer of what Hydra has done to him which, we already know how much that messed him up both physically and mentally AND THEN you add the layer that he's not even from this century! And during that time? fragile masculinity? lack of consent? so many things wrong in that era? It's This might sound so condescending but Bucky is a very very VERY fragile man with a fragile mind that can easily be manipulated AND ON TOP OF THAT, actually has a really fragile ego too. And Jeremiah FED all that, she kept telling him things he wanted to hear to make it SEEM like she's on his side and that's she's the only one who gets him even tho that's not true at all.

Bucket isn't innocent obviously, especially with the things he said and didn't say (a.k.a. defending pocket, calling out Jerico and putting boundaries). basically everything he's admitted about the mental gymnastics he was doing to make it seem like he wasn't doing anything wrong blah blah blah. i could only shake my head bc, really? But then it circles back to how fragile his emotional and mental being is. but still, you can't use that as an excuse. AND i will argue, he was having a power trip. what, someone who thinks no one will ever love or even admire him after everything that he's done (even tho it's not his fault) to suddenly having two women vying for his attention? better yet, FIGHTING for him? he's a man, at the end of the day, and they ain't shit.

now, while i don't see him as unredeemable bc I do see his side then again, people keep saying i have too big of a heart so lol, i also don't think this is going to be an easy fix bc hell, i don't trust him either. like everything that comes out of his mouth, i'd be side-eyeing a lot. While I do believe that once you start spying on who your partner talks to, texting, interacting, etc, that relationship is already over. But i also can't blame Pocket bc this is more or less a last resort to save a friendship for than anything else. bc I really do think they need to start from scratch to be able to come out of this. like, build that trust first, then that friendship before they can even start thinking about dating each other again.

I am worried though, because the thing with Bucky and Josiah, as much as we don't like to admit it, they have built some sort of friendship (toxic one but i'll digress). And it has also become a habit (i could argue addiction) for Bucky, especially when he's been open and vulnerable to her (i get there are things you just aren't brave enough to tell your part but like dude, pocket isn't the fragile girl that you think she is, she can handle it) so it's going to be a tough thing for him to navigate and there's still a possibility that he'd crack under pressure (i don't want to say relapse but u get my point), especially knowing the lengths Jose will go through to get to him. It's really up to him to resist her as much as he can, but Bucky is also a good man. He tends to see the good in people even if they absolutely do not deserve it. I mean I'm the same, because if i see someone cry, even if that someone has been absolute shit to me, it cave so easily. and I have no doubt Julian will play into that HEAVILY. i don't think she's shown what she's fully capable of and that's scary.

I know you said that something is still about to happen come chapter 18 before things become all fixing and groveling, and i'm really worried that this would be a nail on the coffin that would make Bucket irredeemable but, you also said it wasn't as bad as chapter 13 so i'm having my theories that the angst might not come directly from bucky, or that he has no control over it a.k.a it's all Jack's masterplan that Bucky wasn't conscious about it (i really hope not please i'm thinking about the worst). And while i don't agree with Pocket doing a nasty revenge just to get back at Bucky. I think it's more powerful for him to hurt solely because it's his own doing, not because Pocket did something intentionally to hurt him. But I also can't say I don't blame her. but I mean, if it wasn't intentional though? I could look the other way haha. Anyway I can't wait to see how you've decided to play this out! sorry for this whole essay haha much love 🤍

Okay, first off, I fucking LOVE THIS. All of it. These J names? SENDING ME. GIVING ME LIFE! I am cracking up over here to the point my dogs are concerned. They’re giving me Looks.

Second, it fills me with unspeakable JOY that you completely, 110% get where I’m trying to come from with Bucky! It’s been difficult for me to express all the things going on in his head when he’s not a POV character, especially without making it sound like he’s just bullshitting Pocket with his words, or being insincere or flat out lying, so to read that you picked up what I was putting down so succinctly is just ::chef’s kiss::

Third, Pocket gets her revenge, but not in a malicious way. Like, she doesn’t set out to make him suffer. She just… makes some decisions that lead to him facing the consequences of his actions in painful ways. Some are satisfying and funny and some are sad and difficult, but they all build toward Bucky seeing how absolute shit he was to her. As for Judas’s master plan, if you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking re: Bucky not being conscious of it, don’t worry— I didn’t go there. If you’re not thinking what I think you’re thinking, then I have no idea what you’re thinking lol

Trying to be purposefully vague about Chapter 18: it’s not so much what Bucky does that causes the angst— it’s how he responds to what he did that really gets to Pocket. She notes to Wanda and Nat that she could have forgiven him for his actions, in time, but not for the way he followed up on them.

[luckystarchild]

Most of the time kuwabara's love for yukina seemed very superficial to me, I don't really know the concept of love at first sight but it clearly looked like kuwabara simply liked her because she looked pretty?! Ofc falling for a girl because she looks pretty is not a bad thing but if yukina looked more yokai like and resembled even a bit like hiei there's no way kuwabara would've gone out of his way to rescue her in the first place he might even say she reminds him of a certain someone and stayed at home.

People really think kuwabara's love for yukina is pure and selfless but there's nothing selfless about his love for her. He's nice to her because he likes her and wants to become her lover. Being nice to person you like is also not a bad thing but it does not give you the right to treat other girls like crap because they're not the one you like. kuwabara does this in the manga, anime and even in the live action.

The way he puts yukina on a pedestal and act like the other girls matter very little to him is not really a knight in shining armour kind of a thing.

Kuwabara is a not a great guy, he's just a goof ball who's a sucker for yukina's good looks. He might be attracted to her personality as well but who knows how he will react if yukina were to be rude to him like hiei?! Will he still be attracted to her?

I'm not saying that kuwabara is bad guy but he's not really the perfect down to earth good guy of the group either.

I see where you're coming from with a lot of this. Allow me to offer a few additional thoughts to chew on.

One can definitely argue Kuwabara's "love at first sight" was triggered by Yukina's looks, but something else likely furthered his instantaneous feelings for her: his psychic powers. Before they even meet in person, he gets in her head and sees her past while trying to rescue her. He witnesses her memories of her escape attempts and the way she was tortured. He gets a first-row seat into her trauma, and that triggered a depth of empathy for Yukina that turned a crush into what appears to be "love at first sight."

But here's the thing: Information and intimacy are not the same thing.

Kuwabara received a bunch of information about Yukina when he saw her memories, but that doesn't mean he shares emotional intimacy with her. Alas, Kuwabara (being an inexperienced teenage boy) doesn't understand the difference. To him, his feelings of love/like/lust + his knowledge of Yukina likely make him feel like they share a deep bond of true love.

But to Yukina, Kuwabara likely seems like a stranger. A nice, kind stranger, but a stranger nonetheless. She didn't share his memories in return, after all. She has neither information nor intimacy.

(And this take on her lack of feelings for Kuwabara is supported in canon. Throughout the series, we see her react to his overtures with confusion, not reciprocation or affection. She outright runs away from him in the final chapter when he tries to connect with her.)

But Kuwabara isn't being malicious with his feelings of unearned intimacy. To him, I'd argue that intimacy likely feels very real. His experience within her memories was real. It happened; he saw them; he felt how she felt in her darkest hour. But he's so young, and so inexperienced, I don't think he has the perspective to realize that what he received was information, not intimacy. He lacks the perspective to see the difference.

With that in mind, I don't think I can call Kuwabara a bad person, or even "not a great guy," for chasing after Yukina like he does. I think he's the beating human heart of Team Urameshi, and the most down to earth dude in the bunch. But he's still a teenage boy in the end, and his youth and inexperience led him (as youth and inexperience have led us all) to making some less-than-stellar choices. I can't really blame him for that, even if I don't approve of it.

I agree that if he'd known Yukina was Hiei's sister, or if she'd had a different personality type, or if she wasn't as pretty, his feelings about her might have been completely different. An entire "what if" fic about how his thoughts on her would change based on minor differences in his knowledge would be very, very interesting, that's for sure.

[icanbeyourgenie]

“ You're a very good fighter. Usually I win quite easily but you really put a fight. I needed it. ” – a breathless Malachai to Yasmeen while he has his sword under her throat but didn't notice that she has one of her knives right on his ribs too

Yasmeen raised an eyebrow. “Why are you talking like you just won?”

“Because I-”

She pressed her knife a little bit tighter on Malachai's ribs, making him noticing it. He seemed surprised at first, and for a second she wondered if he would be mad. But then he truly laughed, and she relaxed a bit.

They were both breathless. It was their first training session together, since Malachai was due to leave for his battle in three days. It was still early, too early for faes to be up - they always started their day late. But they both woke up at dawn to train.

“As I said, you put a really good fight. But I had my sword under your throat first.”

“How would you know? You didn't even notice my knife. In a real fight you'd be dead already.”

He looked outraged, but not the scary type. “I would not!”

“I'm in the perfect position for my knife to go straight to your heart.” She stated.

“I would've sliced your throat before you could do that. A sliced artery is a quicker death.”

“Not if I puncture your lung first and you can't breathe.”

“You wouldn't have time to do that.”

“Oh I would. I'm very quick.”

“You know what? Let's agree on the fact that we'd both die in this situation.”

“Okay. But you first.”

“Absolutely not!”

They were about to keep arguing when they suddenly realized that they hadn't move. Malachai's sword was still on Yasmeen's throat, and her knife still on his rib. Like none of them wanted to admit defeat. Yasmeen didn't consider herself a particularly competitive person, except when it came to fighting. At this very moment, they looked at each other's eyes, and they were very close, but she wasn't scared.

She couldn't point out what exactly made them burst into laughing eventually. Maybe their own pride. But it was only then that they both retracted their weapons and caught their breathes. Malachai took a step back and went to drink a bit of water. Yasmeen declined the offer when he handed some to her.

“When did you learn to fight like that?” He finally asked. “I mean. I know I had tutors, I was trained to fight since I was old enough to carry a fake sword. But I guess it's not the case for you.”

“Not, it's not.” She couldn't say the full truth yet, so she settled on half of it. “I taught myself. I'm very skilled at observing people fighting and then learning the same moves.”

“I can see that. Thank you for your offer. It was exactly what I needed to clear my mind.”

“Of the fact that you're leaving in three days for a very dangerous battle you might not come back from?” She hated these words as she said them.

“I fought worse battles.” He answered, but he did look tense. It was his homeland he was fighting for, after all.

“Let's do another round. We still have hours before anyone gets up.”

Yasmeen tried to clear his mind again and it seemed to work, based on his smile. But it wasn't a pure smile. More of a smirk.

“Let's spice it up a bit.” He said.

“How?”

“With bets. If I win, you have to..... find a way to distract the lady Euphemia the next time she tries to talk to me. She's really becoming creepy lately.”

Yasmeen laughed freely. “She wants to be queen, she won't be so easily distracted. But fine, I will try. Once. The rest, you'll be on your own.”

“Deal. At least one reception when she isn't trying to talk to me will be peaceful enough. What's your price if you win.”

Yasmeen thought this through for a second. There was many things she could ask from Malachai. After all, he was a prince, and an heir. He could get away with a lot of things. Maybe she could ask him to punch Aeron, or Rhysand, or better - Aldris. That psychopath wouldn't be able to fight back, it would get his ego in check. But it's not what she asked.

“If I win,” She said after a time. “I want you to come back. In one piece.”

He looked at her with an intensity that she couldn't decipher, but she didn't look away. They stayed silent for a while. They often did that, the silent didn't scare them. Yasmeen knew he couldn't truly promise that. It wasn't entirely up to him. But when he nodded and whispered “Deal.”, she believed him. And so she picked up her knives, ready to win the other round.

[arcplaysgames]

Haru literally has the best persona, don't even play.

OKAY lets get caught up to where I am right now so I can close this bitch out and figure out how justified my ire at the ending is or not.

Not to repeat a complaint but I am extremely disappointed with the Mementos Depths as an area. It's all just.... what am I even looking at? What is this shit.

Anyway, the crew finally makes it to the bottom, to where the Treasure is.

The Treasure at the heart of the world is the Holy Grail, and it is surrounded by imprisoned worshippers who scream and cry when the Thieves attack it, and through their desire for the Grail, they give it more and more power.

So it's the Midnight Channel.

I'm not actually trying to be flip, trust me, but the degree to which this is just a retread of P4G is kind of weird.

Anyway, after a short pointless fight where the prisoners keep restoring the Grail's health when we try to destroy it, the Grail itself claims it's time for "fusion."

The skeletal structure of Mementos fuses into reality, bringing the cognitive world in to overlap with the real world. Notably, no one seems to notice the change except the Thieves and their allies.

Because the Grail is able to manifest the desires of everyone into cognitive reality, it decides that no one believes in the Phantom Thieves, and so everyone dissolves while thE FUCKING PHANSITE METER DROPS TO ZERO

MISHIMA YOU PRICKLY PRICK YOU'VE BURIED US ALL

How much of this could have been avoided if Reverie really did find Mishima's laptop and thrown it out the fucking window way back when I said? Everything, I bet.

The "rehabilitation" has "failed" so Reverie is sentenced to death by Notigor. But given the prison we just went through, I am pretty sure rehabilitation would have been Super Bad, so.

FINALLY the twins have had enough of this shit and are like "um, no we think killing our charge might be bad actually, what is up with you" and as they argue with each other, they figure out the truth.

LMAO I FUCKING KNEW WE'D END UP FUSING THE TWINS BACK INTO ONE.

Her name is Lavenza, the true Velvet Room attendant. She was torn by a malicious actor to prevent her from seeing that Igor was an imposter.

YEAH NO SHIT

bitch fuck all the way off, i wouldn't even split a brunch check with you, get your ass outta here and gimme back igor

it ain't even an interesting deal like the one with Adachi, you are such a poser

i'm so fucking happy your back igor i missed you so fucking much you don't even know, man, they had me chained up and were always threatening me with electric rods and no one was polite or hospitable and we were CHOPPING OFF PERSONAE HEADS to do fusions it was so fucked up igor i missed you you weird old man can you do a tarot reading for me and do a When Will I Stop Crying draw for me

i love you igor sob

out of universe note: how fucking fiendishly clever was it to use the "oop, our original VA sadly passed away" out to put in place a decoy igor who clearly wasn't the same dude at all but given the doylist reason for why he was so difference, maybe some people didn't get the twist, idk. how many people fell for the trick, i have no idea.

i mean i didn't because the velvet room was Uber Fucked from the second Reverie arrived but was it obvious to other folks?????

[deadendtracks]

I meant marriage but I would be interested to know your thoughts on prior to marriage too...

Ah ok thanks for clarifying.

First, I think that if Tommy's main motivation for marrying Lizzie was a fear of being alone, he would have asked her to marry him when she told him she was pregnant. You know? That would have been a great opportunity to guarantee companionship. But he didn't.

It's not that I don't think there's some truth to the idea that Tommy has a fear of being alone (I'll expand on this in a moment); but I don't think it really plays out by motivating him to marry Lizzie. And I'm not all that convinced it has a lot to do directly with why he was sexually involved with Lizzie before they married. I think Tommy can use sex as an outlet and a distraction, and yes for some human contact (which isn't the same thing as alleviating a fear of being alone). The sex we see him having with Lizzie in s2 is pretty perfunctory, though that might have been specific to the context of that episode and they seem friendly enough afterwards. He also breaks that relationship off with her once he hires her, which he most likely would not have chosen not to do if his primary motivation was fear of being alone.

I think it's more likely after Grace's death, when they were together in s3. We don't actually see any of those sex scenes (though we have Lizzie's line that it was 'bent over a desk' so not exactly super intimate). We also have Tommy's claim that it was Lizzie who kept his heart from breaking. My guess is the truth about how they interacted was probably somewhere in the middle -- 'bent over a desk' doesn't really give you the idea that she's providing him with the kind of emotional comfort Tommy claims to have gained.

But I think the more interesting question is whether or not Tommy has a 'fear of being alone' in the first place. I was talking to Lisa about this, and she framed it as more a fear of being abandoned and I think that's more accurate. I also think that Tommy already feels alone, all of the time, no matter who he's with -- there was a fundamental severing that creates a chasm between him and everyone else, and this seems to have either happened during the war or was worsened by the war.

It's not so much a fear of being alone-- Tommy's very self-aware of the fact that he's already profoundly lonely. He struggles to connect with people. This is part of his PTSD.

So back to your original question: does Tommy marry Lizzie out of a fear of being alone? I'd probably argue no; at the same time I do think that once they are married, Tommy does have a fear that Lizzie will abandon him. And that's actually driving what people have called his jealousy or possessiveness in s5, and it's painfully present in s6 when Lizzie does leave him.

Paradoxically, Tommy doesn't generally try to defend himself or try to make people stay. You see this with Ada in s1 (this is credit to Lisa again) -- he gives up on trying to convince her that he wasn't behind Freddie's arrest and just accepts her 'forgiveness' because he's so afraid if he doesn't, she'll push him away for good. This dynamic is a big part of how he behaves with his family imo.

You also see this when he doesn't try to explain what happened with Diana Mitford in s6, even when Lizzie basically asks him to (her line about how he doesn't even fight her on leaving). I think in this case it's less that he's afraid that if he does she'll push him away, rather it's wrapped up in shame and the idea that he 'belongs at that table' with the fascists. All of that is probably a whole other essay, though.

This has gotten long and I'm feeling dissatisfied with my ability to articulate what I really mean, but hopefully it has complicated, rather than simplified or flattened, Tommy's character.

I do think "Tommy marries Lizzie/is with Lizzie because he's afraid of being alone" isn't accurate and does that thing where reducing his motivations to an easy formula lead you away from really understanding anything that's going on.

[beantothemax]

"She's late."

For ten minutes, the scholar had been pacing around the entire house. She could be lost, beaten to a pulp or in detention!

Anyone who was heartless enough to hurt such a precious girl would not live to see another day, Osvald would make sure of that.

"She's fine," Rita laughed.

"You don't know that! If she acts anything like I did on my first day of school then she's gonna come home with a bloody nose and rose thorns in her arms! And she does act just like me!" Osvald argued.

Rita stood. She took his hands in her own with a smile.

"Listen darling, if anything happens then we can homeschool her," she said, "but she'll be fine, I'm friends with most of her classmates' parents and they're all lovely people with well behaved kids."

"Gods, I hope you're right," Osvald muttered.

"And if anyone hurts her, I'll make them regret ever even approaching her. They didn't call me the queen of Montwise arena for nothing!" she laughed.

Osvald chuckled at the thought.

The tension left his shoulders as Rita lit the stove. She certainly wasn't a master, but she knew enough fire magic that she never had to ask Osvald for help while cooking. Setting a kettle to boil, she sat across from him.

"Really, what's the worst that could happen to Elena? It's the first day, no one has any long lasting resentment towards her, at least not yet," Rita smiled.

Osvald thought of how he'd come home with a bruised face and broken arm on his first day of school. His parents were furious with the teachers, and decided that from then on, he'd be homeschooled. The tutor they hired was an excellent teacher, but it resulted in his social skills leaving something to be desired.

He dismissed the thought. Kids were worse back then. Nowadays, parents taught their kids to be kind practically straight out of the womb!

"I suppose that's true," he said.

They talked a while longer, until Rita noticed the high pitched scream of the kettle. She added two tea bags before setting it on the table, along with tea cups and saucers.

She poured a cup of tea for each of them. Osvald blowed on his cup, before carefully taking a sip.

Gods, Rita's homemade tea was divine.

He drank more, quickly downing the cup.

As they made their way through the pot, the door opened.

"Bye Sara!" Elena yelled.

"Bye Elena!" a girl yelled back.

Elena entered the housing, carefully shutting the door behind her. She put her backpack away, before joining her parents at the table.

In an instant, all of Osvald's anxieties returned.

"So? How was it?" he desperately asked.

"It was amazing! We had to paint our hands then stamp them on a big piece of paper. Mine was blue and red, I didn't get all the paint off my hand though," Elena spoke quickly.

She always spoke quickly and stumbled over her words when she was excited.

She showed her hand, and sure enough, there were some spots of dried paint.

"And? Who was that girl you were talking to?" Osvald asked.

"Oh yeah! That's Sara, she's my friend. We were making flower crowns!" Elena ran back to her room, and returned with several poorly braided dandelions, "mine isn't done yet. I don't know how to finish it. She was helping me, but she had to go home."

"I know that pattern, I can help," Rita answered.

"Really?"

"Of course, but we need a few more flowers."

In not time, they had their shoes on, and headed out the door.

"We'll be back soon, but dinner might be a bit late today," Rita said.

"No, you two have fun, I'll cook," Osvald replied.

She gave him a quick kiss, "thank you darling."

She left, Elena following close behind.

Osvald smiled as he heard them laugh and yell, muffled by the walls. He considered himself lucky to have people in his life as perfect as them.

AAAAAAAAA PIE THIS IS SO SWEET,,,, MY HEART,,,,,,

love rita very casually insinuating that she’ll kill anyone who so much as hurst Elena. love the mercenary!rita au because it means she gets to kill

also elena talking too fast and stumbling over her words because she’s excited… she’s just like me fr

pie this is lovely and I like it a lot!!!!! now go to bed!!!!!

[pbstarot]

Story time lol

Oh abt my ex-bff, She is into tarot (not rly into astrology like me) She has... an eccentric presence. Her aura is somehow calm yet welcoming. An Introvert (intp/intj). A Taurus. Self-righteous (I mean it in a good way). Romantic but Ace (lgbtq+) She is sarcastic without even trying. Dry humor. Honest. No Sugarcoated. She is the one who taught me a lot about boundaries. Self-care queen. I learnt to love myself thanks to her (just like yr readings). She doesnt rly care to talk but when she talks, its with facts and figures and fine arguments that leaves you nodding yr head all the time.

I'm more of an emotional person, She is more of a thinker. Those two functions clash too often when we dun hv good headspace. I'm more active when it comes to my dreams while she has more calculating approach to her goals. So.. I think this explained enough of how you reminded me of my ex-bff 😅

Might be TMI- Its 60% my fault that we fell apart. I rly rly enjoy her company, which eventually led to her feeling suffocated. Ik yr not into astro but if s/o who knows astro can relate this as a classic struggle between Scorpio (me) and Aquarius(her) nature. I call her an ex- bcz.. she told me to stop being besties and back to 'just' friends, which I cannot do obviously. I accepted her offer to be like that but in my mind, I have decided to.. shut down my feelings as She is my ex-bff. We talk.. even less than how you and I (as a follower) interact. Yea... it tooks me like 3/4 months to get over that breakup. I still care and love her. Ik she does the same. I just.. dun like how I felt when I was told to stop being bff. Its like stabbing my heart. It also makes me question a lot about my identity and personal values. BUT. The past is in the past. I respect her decision. I'm fine on my own anyway. And I learnt a lot in hard way.

To sum up, Yes. She treated me so well. That was.. me who could not treat her the way she wanted. Yes, you are somewhat similar to her. Seeing you, the thought like 'Ah~~She is blossoming alone. Its cool. I hope she(my ex bff) is doing well too" is what pops up in my head the most💓

Heyoo!

First of all, thank you for sharing! You didn't have to, but I'm glad you did (yes, because I'm nosy).

I am actually an extremely emotional person. I just like to use my more practical side to talk to people and express myself (probably as a coping mechanism? Who knows?). I am even too emotional by some people's accounts (many), so I understand your position intimately. As someone who has had a ton of issues with friendships (at the moment I have no friends and I'm not looking, for example), I also understand where you're coming from.

I'm glad your best friend means so much to you and that I remind you of someone who's so dear. That being said, I of course don't know anything about your relationship and it's really not my place, but it seems like separating was good for you. If she, as a person, gave you so many things and then made you question yourself and what you offer, that's not good either. Sure, relationships are complicated and are never just black and white, but seeing you in this position makes me wanna side with you because I've been in similar places, one too many times. I understand that you two were simply not compatible, which is fine and it happens, but it also seems like you might have wanted a deeper, ride or die kind of friendship, and this person wasn't available for that, which is, unfortunately, one of my pet peeves. I also, weirdly, don't like overtly brainy people who can't delve into their emotions. They always leave me feeling cold.

NONE of this is to say your best friend is a bad person or anything. I don't mean to talk about her specifically, especially because she seems so dear to you. I'm talking mostly about overtly logical, or logical to a fault, people in general, mostly the ones I had and have in my life. They'll (almost) always try to argue with me about my emotions, or won't understand where I'm coming from.

Also, I believe that being emotional and knowing how to deal with it is just as important, if not way more important, than having a calculated, logical, approach to life (because you can't factor emotions out of your equation. Emotions are not something you can opt out of, not most people at least. And life is not logical, no matter how much people want to make it).

Again, I know nothing of your relationship and I don't wanna talk badly about your friendship, so please don't take this the wrong way. It seems like this was a relationship that gave you many good things, just ended badly. I hope you are healing well (and not questioning your own self too much). I hope your best friend finds her own wellness and happiness on her own (although she probably will, from what you told me about her), and I thank you for telling me all of this!

[somuchbetterthanthat]

MAG 161 - Dwelling

Oh this one is good. This one is good. So many little things to latch upon. This one is such a SLAP IN THE FACE in the best possible way. Going to try and list everything I love about it -

The birthday scene: chillingly heartbreaking. The perfect way to give us the same grief Jon has for the world, for the past, all his regrets. Offers such a different vision of S1 that S4 Jon had muttered about - colleagues that appreciate each other and jokes with each other (with a hint of Martin stuttering and being put on the spot in a bad way even if it seems joking. I feel like this gives credits to Tim and Sasha being good people capable of being a little thoughlessly mean without realizing at all, which I think makes them relatable and human and I like that). Obviously I love the Jonelias of it all, especially Jon going from stammering at Elias choosing to stay to them possibly smirking at each other over the cake ("he wished for some peace and quiet" / "was that really that obvious?")

Martin's way of dealing VS Jon's way of dealing with things. Martin feeling trapped in inaction, Jon hiding in his own grief cause it's safer than the joy he feels out in the Horrors. Jon pressing on the button for Gertrude's tape like pressing on a bruise, again and again, while Martin wants to move on from it already. Also the hint that... Jon might try to explain how it is, but Martin genuinely doesn't get it, cannot get it. Whether because it's cause a God is weeping in front of him, or because he himself has trouble with empathy in general or a mix of both is interesting either way.

Martin trying to tell Jon it wasn't his fault, and that they've argued about it already cause Jon is not willing to hear it yet: GOOD. Set a good point for Jon understanding he really was a victim here. He was used. He's not guilty of anything.

"Do you really think so?" Jon literally not being able to imagine the world differently anymore, it's too loud; he's at the bottom pit of despair, but Martin saying there might be a solution is enough to give him such a heartbreaking tremor in his voice of hope. He wants Martin to give him hope because he cannot produce his own anymore.

"Some of us didn't get their feelings cut off before the end of the world" / "That's not fair". Guys. You know how much I love this exchange. I feel this was DEFINITELY not explored enough afterwards, but i'm keeping it SO CLOSE TO MY HEART; this, this i would do so much with in my own version.

I like how practical Gertrude sounds about all she says. She goes straight to the point, befitting her character. I like the fact she thought Sasha would be next, that she'd gathered the Archivist might be necessary for a ritual but she didn't understand/realize the specifics of it, only that Elias would push for it. ALSO AGNES MENTION AGNES MENTION AGNES MENTION. etc.

Now-- I still don't get why the web or Elias, but I thought Annabelle was the one to have sent the tapes really, would care to send specific tapes for the fire thing. Like yes, it's foreshadowing for us, but are we to assume it's just for us and was neither intended to be picked up by Jon or Martin? Unless, of course, Annabelle might have a specific idea in mind with the fire plan. Specifically Annabelle, not the Web. Putting a pin on that idea.

All in all though, this episode was SUCH a good introduction to the season. I still love it very very very much. It's a perfect amount of angst with a hint that something else might be possible beyond that cabin and the past.

[seitmai]

With his looks and massive build, he shouldn’t be able to blend in so easily. How many people paid that close attention to their surroundings though? You hadn’t before. You needed to be on guard more. And what was that going to do to your stress levels?

Stress levels 📈

“I appreciate the hope and I don’t want you to lose that,” he said, sparing you a sad glance. “But you should place it elsewhere.”

That is sweet and sad at the same time

You held your breath before you remembered that Ray said the manager had worked with Bucky before. “So you know who I am,” you said. For Bucky to preach about your safety, a lot of people were aware of who you were. “Does everyone know who I am?”

An introverts nightmare 🥲

She paused to stare at you. “All of the rooms here are nice, but the suites are a bit more spacious. It’ll give you room to breathe while you relax,” she gently spoke. “You look like you could use some rest.”

Yes 100% needed

“Nothing in life is free. There’s a price for everything,” she said above a whisper. “And I know you’re not ungrateful. You’re just not used to it.”

The first person that kinda understands 🙏🏻

“I thought you were good at keeping secrets, Natalia,” Ray uttered. “I’m very good at keeping secrets that are actually worth keeping, Raymond,” she retorted.

Iconic answer lol

“So you know I’m trapped,” you said. She had to know it wasn’t a consensual relationship. “More or less,” she said.

🥲🥲🥲

“And let me guess. This Jake guy specializes in bugs and listening devices?” “Hmm. So you know about the bugs,” she said. Bucky was all too proud to share that when you asked. “Jake does specialize in those and you might meet him at some point. If and when you do, don't blame him for doing his job, please. Not everyone gets to choose their line of work.” “If it’s any consolation, he wasn’t pleased when he realized he was helping bug an innocent person's place, but he has a sister and niece to consider,” she said, giving you a hard stare when you opened your mouth.

Urgh poor Jake

“And before you ask because I know you’ll ask, I can’t help you.”

💔💔💔

“He did. When he isn't doing bad things, he actually does some good,” she answered, still toying with her necklace. “In all the time I’ve known him, there have only been two things I’ve ever heard him say he wants and you’re one of them. If I help take you away from him, I don’t know what he’ll do.” “So you won’t help me, but it’s really more like you can’t,” you guessed. She was essentially in Bucky’s pocket and had to think of the women under her employment and her sister. She couldn’t put them in danger. “No one will help me.”

Uff this is like a punch to the stomach..

“You said Bucky has only wanted two things in the time you’ve known him and I’m one of them. What’s the other thing?”

I was wondering the same thing!!!

“Don't make me put you on your ass, Barnes.” Natasha didn't sound afraid at all. What was it like to not have fear?

“I’ll repeat myself in case you didn't hear me the first time: My instructions were that she wasn't to be disturbed and that includes you. So unless you're checking in, I suggest you leave. The fact that you’re even on this floor after I promised no one would bother her-” “I promised her the day to herself, but that day is up and I have to see that she’s okay,” Bucky argued. You were lucky he didn't knock on your door at 12:01. “I just need to see her with my own eyes.”

Honestly a little pathetic of Bucky, but Natasha is my queen 👏🏻

“No. You played this wrong, Barnes. You could've chosen a compassionate route of courting her and eased her into this, but you intimidated her from the start and made it so she won’t ever be free of you. Maybe you're more like your father than-”

I mean, she's not wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️

The sound of something colliding with the nearby wall made you jump back from the door, your heart thudding. It took a moment to get your bearings before you threw the door open to make sure Natasha was okay. The redhead, Ray, and Bucky all looked toward you and no one had a single mark on them. The wall beside the door, however, had a fist sized hole.

If he would have hurt Natasha, I would have to hurt him 😤

“You know I'll have to bill you for the damage,” Natasha told Bucky. “I know,” he said. He could afford it.

And I really hope she will bill him double and triple!

“You’re lucky I’m choosing to be nice instead of kicking your ass or letting Natasha kick your ass for disturbing me and my sleep,” you said, tensing up when he spooned you, his arm wrapped tight around you and his breath warm against your neck. “We have some things to talk about when I wake up.”

So real

He pressed a gentle kiss to your neck, but didn't push any further, thankfully. “Thank you for letting me hold you.” Your heart clenched. He sounded so happy just to be around you, just to be in your space. You were his everything.

😬😬😬

Hold You Tight: Part 14

Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.

Part 13 | Series Masterlist | Part 15

Chapter Word Count: Over 5k

Chapter Summary: The manager of The Red Room gives you a little advice regarding your situation with Bucky.

Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, backstory, reference to stalking, hopelessness. inner turmoil, slight feels, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.

A/N: More Hold You Tight! I realize some of this may feel like filler, but it's happening for a reason. Thank you for sticking with me! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo . ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby , but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Ray kept a close but respectable distance as he took you to his car. It was similar to the vehicle he drove Bucky around in, but a slightly different shade of black that wasn’t as flashy. You should've spotted it sooner, but you weren’t exactly looking for it, were you?

“Have you just been driving around following me all day?” you asked once you were in the car.

“I followed you on foot, too. I’m good at blending in,” he said, giving you a sideways glance as he buckled up and made sure you were buckled up, too. There was no boasting in his statement, just truth. “It wouldn't surprise me if I’m the one asked to stay nearby when you join your friends on Saturday.”

“But perhaps if she really does want to go and you’re unable to accompany her, boss, someone could discreetly keep an eye on her.”

With his looks and massive build, he shouldn’t be able to blend in so easily. How many people paid that close attention to their surroundings though? You hadn’t before. You needed to be on guard more. And what was that going to do to your stress levels?

At least it would be Ray watching if he was asked and not one of Bucky’s other friends.

“Well, I hope watching me drink wine doesn't bore you,” you said, glancing out the window as he drove off, watching the cars and people go by. “How did you get so good at what you do?”

“Making sure you're safe doesn't bore me,” he said. Ironic considering his boss put you in danger. “And I think that’s a story for another time.”

Ray said he had been working for Bucky for a few years. You wondered just how they met. There had to be a story there. “Do you ever think about walking away from it?” you asked curiously, bringing your gaze back to him while he kept his eyes on the road. “I mean, you have a life outside of this, right?”

Did he have family? Friends? A loved one? He had to have a hobby at least. Something.

He tapped a finger on the steering wheel. “Do you think one simply walks away?”

“No, I guess not,” you replied. It was unlikely that you would ever escape, but you didn’t know how it was for people who willingly ran in circles with men like Bucky. You still had a lot to learn. “But I’d like to think there’s hope for you if that’s what you want.”

“I appreciate the hope and I don’t want you to lose that,” he said, sparing you a sad glance. “But you should place it elsewhere.”

Where exactly would you place that hope when Bucky continued to infect everything in your life?

You nodded once, feeling a bit sad for him, too. He just seemed different from the others Bucky surrounded himself with. “Sorry for the questions.”

“Don't apologize,” he said, tapping the steering wheel again. “It’s nice that you care enough to ask.”

You smiled to yourself, content to sit in silence after that. Grabbing your phone from your bag, you aimlessly scrolled through your messages and stopped at Bucky’s name. There were no new messages, but would he send something at the stroke of midnight? And if he was in a mood without you around and Ray eventually told him that Zemo introduced himself to you, what would he do?

“We’re here,” Ray said after a minute, parking his car in front of a tall, sleek building and getting out. He held up a hand to stop the valet from opening the door for you, opting to help you out himself. “This way.”

The sleek theme continued as you went into the lobby and you understood why it was called The Red Room. The color was everywhere, balanced out by a mix of black and gray and soft lighting. The nearby sofa and chairs looked high-quality, as did the art. It appeared to be an oasis of luxury and a place for a well deserved break.

You stopped Ray before you got to the desk. “How much is a room? I get paid tomorrow, but…” You had some money in savings you could transfer over to cover what was surely an expensive cost.

“You haven't checked your account today, have you?”

Taking out your phone with a furrowed brow, you quickly logged into your bank account. An embarrassing squeak came out when you saw the amount, your eyes wide as you looked between your phone and Ray. That had to be some sort of mistake. There was no way…

Bucky.

“He put money in my account?” you whispered, double checking the amount to make sure your eyes weren't deceiving you. Why did he do that? “I can't…”

“He did and he won't take it back if you try,” Ray confirmed. “Regardless of how much you now have, if my boss found out that I suggested you stay here and made you pay he’d have my head.”

“Well, what’s the point of having this money then?” you pressed.

Not that you intended to use it. Spending even a dime of it would likely encourage Bucky to give you more. Or was it a test to see if you would spend it? Would he know if you did?

Maybe, just maybe, you could get Addison and Brady a nice wedding gift.

“To make sure you're taken care of in every possible way,” he said, gesturing to you to move forward.

“Welcome to The Red Room,” a woman in a black dress smiled, Ingrid from the name on her tag. “Do you have a reservation?”

“We do not,” Ray said, sliding a card over. “And I’ll need to speak with Natalia regarding a room, please.”

“Natalia?” Ingrid’s smile didn’t slip, but a hardened look took over her eyes and you suddenly felt uncomfortable. “I’m afraid that’s-”

“It’s fine, Ingrid. I’ll be happy to take care of them.” A redhead in a similar black dress walked over, her heels echoing on the marble floor. She carried herself with grace and power and looked like she could snap your neck without breaking a sweat. So did Ingrid for that matter. “Why don’t you go on break?”

“Of course.” Ingrid’s smile was back on her face. “Enjoy your stay,” she added, gliding away.

“Raymond. Good to see you,” Natalia said, her voice warm as he gave her a nod. “You’ll have to excuse Ingrid. She gets a little protective when anyone asks for Natalia. You know you're one of the only men around who still calls me that.”

“It’s your name, is it not?” he asked, though her tag read Natasha.

“Indeed it is. Maybe one day you’ll call me Natasha,” she said, cocking an eyebrow at you. You didn’t think she was judging you, but you still felt a little self conscious under her gaze. “I wasn't supposed to meet you until later. I also expected Bucky to be with you when that happened.”

You held your breath before you remembered that Ray said the manager had worked with Bucky before. “So you know who I am,” you said. For Bucky to preach about your safety, a lot of people were aware of who you were. “Does everyone know who I am?”

The corner of her lip quirked up. “Not everyone,” she said, turning her attention to Ray. “Why is she here early? Did something happen?”

“She needs a place to stay for the night and she’s not to be disturbed. That includes my boss.”

She raised an eyebrow again. “Understood. I’ll give her suite 213 and put you just across the hall.” Her fingers flew across the keyboard before she slid the card back to Ray. “Follow me.”

“Isn’t a suite a bit much?” you asked. And for Ray to pay for that, you had to pay him back somehow.

She paused to stare at you. “All of the rooms here are nice, but the suites are a bit more spacious. It’ll give you room to breathe while you relax,” she gently spoke. “You look like you could use some rest.”

Did she know the extent of what you had gone through? You weren’t claustrophobic but with Bucky smothering you, breathing and rest didn’t come to you as easily. “I appreciate that,” you said. A spacious area would feel nice.

She nodded, pressing the elevator button. “You’re also welcome to book anything in the spa at no charge and whatever you’d like from the restaurant or room service menu is on the house.”

You gaped at her. “So because I’m Bucky’s girl, you’ll just give me these things for free?” you asked, noticing that she stood on one side of you and Ray on the other. “I mean, I’m not trying to sound ungrateful, but there’s no need for the special treatment.”

Everyone so far in Bucky’s circle fawned over you. But what had you done to earn anything? Nothing. All you did was catch the eye of a powerful man.

“Nothing in life is free. There’s a price for everything,” she said above a whisper. “And I know you’re not ungrateful. You’re just not used to it.”

You weren’t sure if you’d ever get used to it since you grew up with the belief that you had to work for what you were given. “You asked why I was here early. When exactly was I supposed to meet you?”

“Not to spoil the surprise, but Bucky booked a dinner reservation and our best suite for a romantic evening.” She gave Ray a glance, who didn’t look too pleased. “I think he plans to tell you the day of, if I had to guess.”

“Wonderful,” you muttered, a shiver running through your body. You weren't an idiot. If Bucky booked a suite for the two of you, he’d expect you to sleep with him.

“I thought you were good at keeping secrets, Natalia,” Ray uttered.

“I’m very good at keeping secrets that are actually worth keeping, Raymond,” she retorted.

“I’m glad you told me,” you said. In her defense, you asked a question and she gave you an almost direct answer. “Besides, it’s just another thing to add to the list of ‘surprises’ for today. Bucky having Ray follow me. Meeting Zemo.”

“Zemo?” She didn’t give anything away, but she gave Ray another look. This guy didn’t seem to have a lot of fans. “You met Zemo? When?”

“He introduced himself to me at the park just before we came here,” you replied.

She pursed her lips when the elevator door opened. “I can’t wait to hear how Bucky responds to that.”

Your stomach sank. You saw what he did to John after he insulted you. Zemo likely wouldn’t fare much better, but he also seemed to be a bigger player in whatever went on in the city.

“Will you let me do a sweep before she goes in?” Ray asked before Natasha could open the door.

“No one has been in this room and no one knew you were coming here, but I know you'll be chewed out if you don’t,” she said, stepping aside for him.

“You’re not planning to bug the place, are you, Ray?” You didn’t want to think he would, but you had to ask.

He didn’t look offended by the question. If anything, he seemed to understand your concern. “This is meant to be a safe haven for the rest of the day. I won’t take that from you,” he promised, shutting the door behind him. It was nice to have him somewhat on your side, even in the smallest capacity.

The hall was eerily quiet as you stood alone with the redhead. Your gaze darted back and forth, expecting Bucky to waltz in and tell you that this wasn’t a haven at all. That he’d drag you to the suite bed and do whatever he pleased.

“I’ve been told you have a kind heart,” Natasha said, bringing your attention back to her. “That’s good for Bucky.”

“Is it?” you asked, looking down the hall again.

“Relax,” she urged. “You don’t have to feel nervous here. You’re safe.”

“You work with Bucky, so I’m naturally going to feel nervous and suspicious,” you said. You wouldn’t apologize for that. “How much do you know about me?”

“A man named Jake who does security and surveillance works for both Bucky and I. When Bucky needed him for an extended period of time, I was naturally curious as to why. He gave me just enough pieces to put the puzzle together.”

“So you know I’m trapped,” you said. She had to know it wasn’t a consensual relationship.

“More or less,” she said.

“And let me guess. This Jake guy specializes in bugs and listening devices?”

“Hmm. So you know about the bugs,” she said. Bucky was all too proud to share that when you asked. “Jake does specialize in those and you might meet him at some point. If and when you do, don't blame him for doing his job, please. Not everyone gets to choose their line of work.”

“Well, I wish he would’ve stopped him,” you said. You could blame this guy, but it wouldn't do you any good. Like Natasha said, he may not have had a choice.

“If it’s any consolation, he wasn’t pleased when he realized he was helping bug an innocent person's place, but he has a sister and niece to consider,” she said, giving you a hard stare when you opened your mouth. “And before you ask because I know you’ll ask, I can’t help you.”

You tried not to get upset at her immediate denial to help. “May I ask why not?”

She sighed, toying with the delicate gold necklace around her neck. You wondered if the arrow charm was symbolic. “The women who work here… We didn’t exactly have the best upbringing and we didn’t have much freedom, even as adults. Including my sister,” she explained, a haunted look taking over her eyes momentarily. “But Bucky stepped in some time ago and helped us. Without him, I wouldn’t have been able to open this place or give us normal life. I’ll be forever in his debt for that.”

“He helped you?” you asked. Marc mentioned that he donated to the local hospital and charities, but this was something else. Was this a normal hotel or some kind of refuge?

“He did. When he isn't doing bad things, he actually does some good,” she answered, still toying with her necklace. “In all the time I’ve known him, there have only been two things I’ve ever heard him say he wants and you’re one of them. If I help take you away from him, I don’t know what he’ll do.”

“So you won’t help me, but it’s really more like you can’t,” you guessed. She was essentially in Bucky’s pocket and had to think of the women under her employment and her sister. She couldn’t put them in danger. “No one will help me.”

“Barnes isn’t the kind of man you win a fight against. It’s better for most to stay on his good side than to be his enemy,” she said, putting a hand on your shoulder when you hung your head. “Hey. I’m not telling you to just lay over and accept your new relationship for what it is, but I don’t want you to be surprised when people keep telling you ‘no’ when you ask for help.”

“Everyone just looks the other way and that isn’t…” You bit your lip to keep from screaming.

“It isn’t fair. I know,” she whispered. Her sympathy didn't make you feel better. “I won’t make excuses for him because what he has done is awful, but he isn’t entirely evil. He’s… flawed. We all are.”

Would Bucky be so flawed if people didn’t enable him or look the other way? “Do you think I’ll get used to belonging to him? I keep fighting it, but…” Doors kept getting slammed in your face in terms of help and that hope continued to fade. Was it time to accept the inevitable?

She considered your question. “I can’t say if you’ll get used to it, but there’s a careful balance between embracing a circumstance while maintaining your own boundaries. You need to find that.”

“But I have no boundaries thanks to Bucky,” you argued. He took them away.

“Maybe not now, but you could get some back down the line. He isn’t a man most people win fights against, but he’s still just a man. Use what you know about him and sway him. You have a little more power than you think.”

You thought back to the club when Jax flirted with you. Bucky worked himself up, but your touch and soft demeanor helped calm him down. “I guess I could try,” you said. It seemed easy enough, but he was so good at swinging things in his favor that you had a hard time believing you had a chance.

“And it isn’t much, but I can offer you a space here to use on occasion if you need time away from him. I know you don’t believe he’ll let you use it, but I think you can convince him and you deserve a safe haven,” she said, smiling a little when she handed you a card. “I could even have one of the girls teach you some self defense if you’re interested in any lessons.”

You turned the card over. There was only a phone number listed and a black widow spider. “I appreciate the offer, Natasha,” you said, tucking it in your bag. It wasn’t freedom, but it was something. And whatever Natasha’s full story was, your heart went out to her. “Can I ask what the second thing is?”

“Excuse me?”

“You said Bucky has only wanted two things in the time you’ve known him and I’m one of them. What’s the other thing?”

She shook her head. “That’s for him to tell you.”

Ray came out of the room a moment later. “All clear. Not that I expected anything less from you and your staff, Natalia,” he said. It earned him a small smile as she passed his room card over. “I’ll be just across the hall if you need me.”

“And you can ask for me personally if you call the desk,” Natasha added.

“I appreciate it, but I’ll be fine,” you said honestly. As long as Bucky didn't show up. “I’ll just order some wine and food, curl up in bed, and finish reading my book.” You didn’t need much else.

“Are you sure?” Ray asked.

“I’m sure,” you smiled softly. He had done enough by bringing you there. “Thank you both.”

They each gave you a sympathetic gaze as you stepped inside and shut the door behind you. The red, black, and gray theme continued in the tastefully designed suite. It was the nicest hotel room you had ever been in. Too nice for someone like you.

Setting your bag down and removing your shoes, you went right to the bedroom with your phone and book. The large bed looked comfortable and inviting. Sighing as you stretched out, you stared at the ceiling and tried to reflect on what had recently transpired.

Natasha. She couldn't directly help you and she had her reasons, but she might be a good ally. She was at least in the camp that you deserved some sense of freedom and offered you a small form of sanctuary. It was better than nothing.

Ray, you still couldn't figure him out. Like Natasha, he wouldn't directly help you. Bucky said he was loyal and didn't let emotions cloud him. He seemed to care to an extent though.

You froze when a message popped up on your phone. It wasn't from Bucky though. It was from your coworker, Kate.

“Hey, girl! You know Clark? Pretty blue eyes. Super hot. He stopped in and asked when your next shift was.”

Your stomach twisted in knots. Why was he asking? “Hey. What did you tell him?”

Kate messaged back quickly and your stomach twisted up more. “Told him you’d be in tomorrow and he looked happy until Mrs. Crandle announced that you have a boyfriend?! Girl, WHAT?! I need all the details!”

You groaned and hid your face in the pillow. Mrs. Crandle meant no harm, but this was the last thing you needed. Maybe Clark wouldn't come around after hearing that. “I’ll tell you about it during our next shift together.”

You didn't look at your phone for the rest of the afternoon. Instead, you lost yourself in the pages of the book and only took a break to order a drink and meal from the room service menu. And true to Natasha’s word, no one disturbed you. The food was left outside of the door once ready. Natasha even had a nice pair of pajamas sent up for you.

It was a quiet and relaxing rest of the day.

But as the sun went down and you got ready for bed, you held up your left hand and looked at your bare ring finger. A shuddering breath left your lungs as you imagined a ring around your finger. How happy your friends would be that you found love. How happy Bucky would be to have you tied to him forever.

Glancing at the empty side of the bed after your delicious meal, you wondered how it was going to be sleeping next to Bucky. Was he a cuddler or would he want his own space? Would he hog the covers? You would find out soon enough, wouldn't you?

But for today, he left you alone. He kept his promise. Yes, he sent Ray to watch you, but he hadn't shown up or reached out. He actually gave you some space instead of smothering you. And with you in the suite, he didn't have eyes on you.

Who knows? Maybe his mood improved and he had a good day without you. One could only hope.

“Good night, Bucky,” you whispered, closing your eyes and getting the sleep you craved.

A loud knock on the door woke you. Slowly opening your eyes with a groan, you wondered what time it was. Your body alarm clock said it was too early. Stretching, you made your way to the door and stopped when you heard raised voices outside.

“Get the hell out of my way, Natasha.”

You gasped when you heard Bucky’s voice, the quick anger rushing through you making you clench your fists. God, you knew it. You knew he’d show up.

“Don't make me put you on your ass, Barnes.” Natasha didn't sound afraid at all. What was it like to not have fear? “I’ll repeat myself in case you didn't hear me the first time: My instructions were that she wasn't to be disturbed and that includes you. So unless you're checking in, I suggest you leave. The fact that you’re even on this floor after I promised no one would bother her-”

“He was up here to speak with me,” Ray cut in.

“And I did. Now I need to see her,” Bucky said, the desperation in his voice making your heart ache.

“Boss, it’s two in the morning.”

“Exactly. You need to let her sleep. It’s the least you could do,” Natasha urged.

“I promised her the day to herself, but that day is up and I have to see that she’s okay,” Bucky argued. You were lucky he didn't knock on your door at 12:01. “I just need to see her with my own eyes.”

The bugs at your place would've given him access to whatever he wanted, but he didn't have that in the suite. It was probably driving him crazy. He sure as hell sounded out of sorts.

“Wow, an entire day. How generous.” You almost laughed at Natasha’s snark. It was appreciated. “Is this about Zemo? I know he saw her at the park, but he hasn’t been around here. We both know I’d never allow him to set foot in the door without a very good reason.”

“I still need to deal with him and he’ll be lucky if I don’t kill him with my bare hands,” Bucky growled, making you tense up.

“You have enough blood on your hands, but what’s one more body?” Natasha asked, the conversation reminding you once again that Bucky was a killer. “Look, I’m not going to disturb her and neither should you.”

“Natasha-”

“No. You played this wrong, Barnes. You could've chosen a compassionate route of courting her and eased her into this, but you intimidated her from the start and made it so she won’t ever be free of you. Maybe you're more like your father than-”

The sound of something colliding with the nearby wall made you jump back from the door, your heart thudding. It took a moment to get your bearings before you threw the door open to make sure Natasha was okay. The redhead, Ray, and Bucky all looked toward you and no one had a single mark on them. The wall beside the door, however, had a fist sized hole.

“Kotyonok,” Bucky smiled the second he saw you. He looked like he hadn't slept much. Good. Now he knew how it felt.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, not having it in you to scream, cry, or anything else. “And did you just punch a hole in the wall?”

He chuckled sheepishly, brushing off his gloved hand. “Yeah, I did that.”

He was unbelievable.

“I’m so sorry he woke you,” Natasha said, putting out an arm to stop Bucky when he stepped forward. “Back up, Barnes. You’ve seen for yourself that she’s fine.”

“Yep. I’m fine.” You gestured to yourself and yawned. “Can I please go back to sleep?”

“Can I come in for just a minute?” Bucky asked, a touch of guilt in his eyes when you narrowed yours. He was pushing his luck when all you wanted to do was go back to bed. “Please?”

“Apologize to Natasha for damaging her property,” you demanded. He had no right to do that.

“I’m sorry, Natasha,” he sincerely stated.

Natasha’s mouth parted before her cool expression took over again. “Thankfully no one else was on this floor, so you hopefully didn't disturb anyone else.”

Bucky's eyes were still on you, full of longing. “May I please come in?”

You mulled over it. Technically he still kept his promise and let you be for a day. You could be angry later that he showed up so early. For now, you needed sleep.

“Come in,” you said, surprising everyone, yourself included. “It’s fine,” you assured Natasha and Ray.

The redhead nodded after a moment and lowered her arm, but the bodyguard shot his boss a subtle glare. “You know I'll have to bill you for the damage,” Natasha told Bucky.

“I know,” he said. He could afford it.

“Thank you, Ray. Natasha. I hope you both get some rest, too,” you said, letting Bucky into the suite and shutting the door.

Bucky let out a breath as he looked you over, but didn't move any closer when you backed up. Of course he had to invade what was meant to be your haven for the night. Strangely, you weren't as nervous as usual to have him so close. “Hi.”

“Hi,” you mumbled, crossing your arms when he slipped his jacket off. “You really couldn't wait until after sunrise to see me?”

“I’m sorry. I was up late at the club and Ray said you were here and… I missed you,” he explained, his expression soft.

It was kind of nice to be missed. “I’m sure you did,” you yawned again. “King of the loopholes,” you added under your breath.

He ran a gloved hand through his hair. “And I’m sorry about Zemo. I should've known he would-”

You shook your head quickly. “Nope. Not having this talk when I'm still sleepy,” you said, heading toward the bedroom. It was too heavy of a discussion to have in the middle of the night. “Take your shoes off. We both know you aren't leaving.”

He looked surprised all over again when you looked back at him. “You’re letting me stay?” he asked, a smile on his face like you handed him a gift. “You aren't telling me to leave?”

“Stay or go, up to you, but I'm going back to sleep,” you said, curling up on the bed. “And if you sleep next to me, don't you dare let your hands wander.”

“And you’re letting me lay with you,” he said, the mattress dipping beside you. “You’re being very agreeable.”

“You’re lucky I’m choosing to be nice instead of kicking your ass or letting Natasha kick your ass for disturbing me and my sleep,” you said, tensing up when he spooned you, his arm wrapped tight around you and his breath warm against your neck. “We have some things to talk about when I wake up.”

Ray following you. Zemo. Natasha’s offer. Bucky’s mom. Your relationship.

“We can talk about whatever you want,” he whispered, nuzzling you gently as your eyes shut. “Did you miss me yesterday?”

“No,” you mumbled.

Your reply didn't stop him from chuckling. “Not even a little bit?”

You sighed. “If I say ‘yes’, will you let me sleep?”

“I will,” he answered.

“I missed you a little,” you said, snuggling further into the pillow. He placed his hand over yours and you blamed your tiredness for why you didn't tense up again. “Now sleep.”

He pressed a gentle kiss to your neck, but didn't push any further, thankfully. “Thank you for letting me hold you.”

Your heart clenched. He sounded so happy just to be around you, just to be in your space. You were his everything.

“You’re welcome,” you mumbled, drifting off not long after.

Your last thought before you fell asleep was that you hoped Bucky would behave himself.

Lovelies, I think we all knew Bucky would show up the first chance he had. What do we think of Natasha? Is she being truthful that she can't help or is she biding her time? Will Bucky behave? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[star-crossed-juliet]

In Love and Loss

It was quite a long time before Juliet left Jason and Dane. Both of them clearly crashing a bit again. She'd made it clear that she was only leaving long enough to sort out food for them, whether they actually ended up eating it or not. But still, she made them a full meal and then decided to give them a bit of breathing room for the time being.

She made her way back down to the front of the shop, a full plate of food in her hands. Desmond wasn't sleeping, even despite the time of night. A common theme for the four of them that night, apparently. She passed him the food, which he took without arguing, though he only set it on his lap. Juliet sat down next to him on the steps, looking over at him briefly before turning her gaze up to the moon. "I don't blame you if you have no appetite. It's understandable."

He grunted a bit, rather than properly replying. Not a people person, from the memories of what she'd been told by Ivy and Thaddy. Though the bits she'd heard from him were few and far between. But he was the love of Thaddeus' life, and that meant that he meant something to Juliet too. "They told me that he threw you back through the portal," she added after a moment. "And that you've worked for Marcus." She noticed him wince. "And I can tell that's a bit of a grey area for you and them... but it isn't for me."

Desmond's brow furrowed as he took in the shifter. He knew well enough who she was, both from the bits he'd heard from Thaddeus, to her characteristic closeness with nearly every powerful warlock in Chicago, and having been on the arm of the pack's alpha--or, at least, the only alpha of note for an onlooker's sake. Juliet Pierce. He'd imagined her demeanor to be similar enough to how she was presenting herself now, but that statement still managed to take him aback. "Rather a lot of confidence to have in a stranger," he replied, his voice somewhat hoarse from tiredness and lack of use.

Juliet smiled at that, shrugging her shoulders. "I trust Ivy's judgement implicitly... after all, it's not like you could hide anything from her. And Thaddeus does love you, so that doesn't hurt your case either."

The comment about Ivy filled him with another wave of guilt. Because some part of him was convinced that this could have all been avoided if he'd been quicker, sought Ivy out the second he realized she wasn't in the shop when him and Thaddeus arrived. Poor kid might know a lot, but it didn't mean she knew what she was in for. Not truly. "She's a nice girl. Shocking that she was raised by Ophien," he half-joked, though the humor fell rather flat in the moment.

A bit of laughter from Juliet surprised the both of them. "He's more of a softie than we all give him credit for. But yes, she's a good kid."

Silence fell again, that choking reality settling upon them. And it hurt. Desperately.

"You know you can head home to get a bit of rest if you want to," Juliet said eventually. "I'll be happy to stand guard."

Des considered the idea, sighing slightly. "In a bit, maybe. I just..."

"I know... you don't want to miss any updates."

Another beat of silence. "You really love them, don't you?"

She looked up at him, examining the sad-eyed warlock before she nodded. "With all my heart. They're my family. And I've never been the type to consider that to be blood relations only." Juliet reached over to place her hand on top of Desmond's, giving it a gentle squeeze. "You are too. And I fight tooth and nail for my family... We'll get them back."

Her words were a tonic as much as a worry, but he tried to take it for a positive for once. For now, at least. He returned the squeeze of her hand. "Thank you, Juliet."

She offered him a warm smile. "No need to thank me, Desmond."

And then their focus shifted back to the idle noise of the night streets, with watchful eyes intent on protecting the last of them left.