#some people just live in a completely different world

[slcmml]

teacher! schlatt & reader. fluff.

★ it starts with curiosity. schlatt isn’t the type to seek out friendships with coworkers, but something about you intrigues him. you’re quiet but not standoffish, reserved but not boring. he catches himself lingering outside your classroom, peeking in to see what weird art project your students are working on. he’ll lean against the doorframe, arms crossed, and drawl, “whatcha teachin’ ‘em today? finger painting?” just to see you get all shy.

★ he teases you constantly. he lives for your flustered little reactions, smirking when you avoid eye contact or mumble a response. but it’s never mean—just his way of pulling you out of your shell. “y’know, i never hear you raise your voice. what do you do when a kid misbehaves? stare ‘em down ‘til they repent?” you roll your eyes, but the corners of your mouth twitch upward, and that’s how he knows he’s won.

★ he’s a bit of a mystery to you? schlatt is loud. and cocky. and a nuisance. but you notice things others don’t—how he never lingers at staff parties, how he prefers one on one conversations over big group settings, how he sometimes looks genuinely relieved when he steps into your quiet classroom after a long day.

★ the staff definitely has a bet going on. teachers love gossip, and your odd relationship is prime material. “they have to be dating.” “no way, they’re just ‘really close coworkers’.” meanwhile, you and schlatt are completely oblivious to the speculation, too caught up in your own little world of being fucking idiots.

★ he lowkey tries to impress you. if you ever mention finding a topic interesting, suddenly that becomes the focus of his next class. “yeah, so today’s lesson is about bioluminescence. which is pretty cool, i guess. not that anyone asked, but y’know, some people might find it interesting.” literally only does this for class so he can tell you about it later.

★ you start to pick up on his social battery? i mean, despite how extroverted he acts, you notice he sometimes disappears during lunch breaks or avoids crowded teacher’s meetings. at first, you assume he just doesn’t care, but one day, you find him sitting alone in his empty classroom, quietly grading papers. you hesitate before stepping in, holding up a coffee. “thought you might want a break.” he looks at you, then at the coffee, then back at you, before exhaling. “you’re somethin’ else, darlin’.”

★ he’s weirdly protective of you. if another teacher tries to talk over you in a staff meeting? he immediately cuts in, backing you up without hesitation. if a student’s giving you a hard time? suddenly schlatt’s popping his head into your room like, “need me to send someone out? jus’ say the word.”

★ neither of you realize you’re basically dating? you spend so much time together, fall into so many easy conversations, and yet, neither of you quite acknowledge what’s happening.

★ schlatt probably teases you about how “art can’t be that hard” almost all the time.

★ at some point you finally call his bluff and tell him to sit down and prove it. he tries to act all nonchalant, but he’s secretly a little nervous because he doesn’t want to embarrass himself in front of you.

★ he’s stiff at first. when you hand him a brush, he just kind of stares at it like he’s holding a foreign object. “alright, what am i s’posed to do? jus’... start wavin’ this thing around?”

★ he’s used to precise measurements and structured formulas, so the whole “just go with the flow” thing throws him off.

★ his grip on the brush is terrible, so without thinking, you reach over and adjust his fingers. the second your hands touch, he freezes. you don’t even notice, too focused on correcting his technique, but schlatt is sitting there, completely distracted by the fact that you’re this close to him.

★ he keeps sneaking glances at you. while you’re explaining different brushstrokes, he’s barely listening—just watching the way your face lights up when you talk about art. at one point, you lean in to demonstrate something, and he swears his brain short-circuits for a second.

★ he’s terrible at painting, but you don’t have the heart to tell him. his first attempt looks like absolute garbage—uneven strokes, weird colors, a total mess. but when he turns to you all smug like, “pretty good, huh?” you just smile softly and say, “it’s… unique.” (he knows that means it’s bad.)

★ he actually listens when you correct him. for all his teasing, schlatt really does take your advice seriously. when you gently tell him to loosen up his strokes or blend the colors more naturally, he follows your instructions without argument. he won’t admit it, but hearing you talk so passionately about something makes him want to try—even if it’s just to impress you a little.

★ you wipe paint off his face without thinking. at some point, he manages to get a streak of paint on his cheek. without thinking, you reach up and swipe it off with your thumb. you don’t even realize what you’ve done until you notice he’s completely silent. when you finally look at him, his ears are bright red. “uh—” he clears his throat. “thanks.”

★ he insists you keep his first painting. he knows it’s bad, you know it’s bad, but he shoves it into your hands anyway. “frame it. tell people it’s modern art or somethin’.” you laugh, but later that night, you do end up keeping it. it’s terrible, but it’s his, and for some reason, that makes it special.

★ the whole thing just feels a lot more intimate than either of you expected. it’s just painting, but there’s something about the quiet closeness, the shared laughter, and the little moments of eye contact that make your heart race. neither of you say anything about it, but after that day, something between you shifts—like maybe, just maybe, this whole thing was never really about painting at all.

★ ANYWAY YOU BOTH ARE FUCKING LOSERS BECAUSE LIKE CHARLIE YOU BOTH ARE TOO PUSSY TO TELL EACH OTHER YOU WANNA SWAP SPIT JUST FUCK ALREADY I DON’T FUCKING KNOW

© slcmml

[drdemonprince]

hey there! in regards to ur last ask (about adults in kink spaces online having status quo ideas about kids in those spaces and such, sorry this isn’t a great summary), do you have any ideas on how to combat that? this is a genuine question - those disclaimers of ‘no minors can follow’ and such have always made me a little confused whilst i understood the statement behind them objectively you know? and now that i’m adult (legally - i turned eighteen a couple of months ago), i’m having trouble figuring out how to talk about kink and sex online in a way that doesn’t hurt kids or exclude them. like, i want to post some explicit stuff i’ve written on my blog or ao3, but i know that i have kids subscribed to me since i used to post relatively bland kids stuff for years before that. so like… how would one navigate kink spaces online and general spaces with an attitude of understanding that trying to close off these spaces to kids completely is harmful but that kids can also be harmed by people in these spaces? if that makes sense?

I think it is a really challenging thing to navigate. The way that I handle it personally is that I don't regard it as my responsibility to monitor and police the ages of people following me. I want the information that I put out into the world to be freely available to the people who need it most; one of the ways that I ensure that is by not paywalling any of my writing, and another is by not age restricting things except for when circumstances mean that I absolutely have to. for example: during some of our live streams that have been particularly focused on kink or sex, Maddie and I have flagged the stream as 18 plus out of necessity, and if a member of our chat identifies themselves as being under 18 during such streams, we have to ask them to leave. but in terms of my own private attitudes, I recall accessing porn and sexual writing from a very young age and learning a great deal from it, and I don't think there is anything wrong with a young person doing so. and if a young person has questions around sexual health and safety and they direct them to me, I would generally be comfortable answering those questions or at least directing them to resources. I do all I can to normalize talk about these things and de-exceptionalize sex, and I don't let myself get intimidated by puritanical accusations about that being inherently evil and improper. but I also have really firm digital boundaries in terms of not giving a stranger on the internet much access to my life or getting too overly involved in theirs. I do this because I'm a public figure and people can be very inappropriate with me, but another benefit of this approach is that I'm never really having any kind of conversation with an internet stranger that would immediately turn inappropriate if I would find out that they were a minor. strangers on the internet are strangers. I can pass along resources and share my opinion if they ask me for advice, but I am not developing a close relationship with them or developing anything involving emotional or sexual intimacy with them. or with any, like, fan either. obviously some of this is different from your own situation, but you can probably see the logic here and how you might apply it to your own ways of relating to the subject online. I think there is never any harm in making information available, being aware of what a platform's terms of service are just for the sake of protecting yourself, and maintaining good boundaries with people you do not know while still being friendly, helpful, and cordial.

[wisteriamusic]

I’m pretty sure Nightmare and Dream are immune as is canon but everyone else I like to think is in danger probably only Ink and Error are also immune for completely different reasons.

I like to imagine different kind of Au’s divisions I guess the first type are those who live in a game world their world is a game, game mechanics are often real parts of their world and the rules and limits can be strict or more intense randomly some Au’s can only say the same coded lines and nothing else others have free speech but are made to follow a script like an out of body experience they are less likely to discover about the multiverse so people usually avoid that side of the multiverse and never go into any Au’s they don’t want to go somewhere and then be trapped becoming a coded character, another type are just story Au’s they have bo connections to games or fourth wall entities everything that happens comes from in story characters theirs no player no nothing they have a higher likelihood of finding out about the multiverse but most of the time don’t care, and finally the third kind a mix of both maybe their is a fourth wall entity like a player but their world isn’t a game they just think it is examples would be a player entity controlling frisk and treating the world like a game, or maybe the world has game mechanics and such but their isn’t any Player just Frisk maybe their world is all code and theirs nothing left.

couple good fanfics about things like living in a game world or just a world made of code being The Scientist Series was so satisfying and I loved Error-Handling Message. Underflow a shorter work but it is completed and I like Chara plot twist. Also Undercontrol which I haven’t finished reading but focuses heavy on the fact that they are actual characters with Sans breaking from the sequence but unable to have a happy ending because their isn’t a surface or happy ending actually coded into their world having to leave his world to help Gaster who promises to help if he collects all the pieces of him sending him through the multiverse to meet many new people. All three can be found on Archiveofourown

the player’s existence in undertale aus are very strange to me. for example the player canonically exists in something new, which is canonically a game like undertale is iirc (given that killer’s code was changed), and simultaneously so does the multiverse which is out of the player’s control. and it just got me thinking. like.

everything can be found in a game’s files and then tweaked to your heart’s desire. that’s what happened with killer. but when others enter an au, do their ‘contents’ also get added to that au’s game’s files? are they now editable? is going into an au where the player is known to have a high influence on the world a risky thing to do? if nightmare went into an au where the player is known to change things to fit how they want, could nightmare be changed? or would he be immune?

thinking. of things. really tired edition

[l0singsdogs]

batfam ! alternative universe, no powers.

I've had this idea for a while now. Spending so much time on social media, reading different takes, I started wondering—what if the Batfamily woke up in a completely normal universe? No aliens, no magic, no villains trying to take over the world every other week. Just… normal people, living normal lives—going to college, having relationships, working regular jobs. For a group of people used to fighting monsters and stopping world-ending threats, that kind of life would be unsettling.

read more, because this is long like really long.

But how did it happen? The usual way. A battle. A teenager getting their hands on something they shouldn’t have. Powers spiraling out of control. And, of course, the Batfam stepped in to fix it, because you know everything weird is always happening in Gotham. 

Batman calls for backup, but the family is still working through their issues. Dick and Jason barely talk, though they’re trying—because, at the end of the day, they’re still brothers. Then, suddenly, it’s just them. Just the Batfamily, thrown into this bizarrely ordinary world.

Duke sees the light first. Then Steph. Even Cass. And then—nothing.

They wake up somewhere else.

Bruce, as always, is the first to regain consciousness. But something is off. His mansion isn’t quite the same. It’s warmer, cozier. There are more pets curled up around the house. His bedroom is a mess—lived in. The walls are covered with photos of his kids. There are even pictures of him and Selina, scattered among them.

And then, he realizes just how wrong everything is.

His body aches, but not like it used to. There are no scars from old battles with the Joker. No lingering wounds from alien invasions. He still feels exhaustion in his bones, but it’s different—just the tiredness of a man his age, not the crushing weariness of a vigilante running on fumes. Even his reflection looks different. Relaxed, almost. Like he’s lived a life that wasn’t defined by war.

And that? That’s unsettling.

The next to wake up is Jason. And it's weird—because for the first time in years, his body doesn’t hurt. The familiar, constant pain is gone. The scars from his autopsy, from all the things that marked his past, aren’t there. He doesn’t feel the echoes of old wounds anymore. And where he wakes up doesn’t look like any of the safe houses he has scattered around Gotham. The last thing he remembers is fighting—arguing with Grayson over something stupid. Then the light—just for a second, he thought he was dying again. But, you know… in a way that wasn’t as catatonic? Then… he wakes up. The bedroom is unfamiliar, but somehow, it feels like his. Bookshelves are packed with novels of all kinds. Posters cover the walls—bands he actually likes: Rammstein, Linkin Park, System of a Down. A collection of motorcycle helmets is neatly displayed on a shelf. The whole place is put together, calm.

And then, the worst part. When he looks in the mirror, a scream rips from his throat.Because the thing that haunts him, in his life and in his dreams—his autopsy scars—are gone. Completely erased. All that remains is a single, unfamiliar scar near his heart.

Strange. The worst part? He has no idea why his head is pounding so hard. No clue why memories, both complicated and good, flash through his mind—but waking up from the dead isn’t one of them.

Dick is next.

And he wakes up pissed. Because, you know? He was in the middle of fighting with Jason. Jason, who treats everything like a joke. Jason, who doesn’t take things seriously when he should. Trying to fix things with him is exhausting—because Jason is too Jason. Stubborn, impatient, infuriating.

Then suddenly—this. The room is unfamiliar, but not completely. There’s a framed picture on his nightstand—him and Starfire. Kori Anders. His walls are lined with posters, some from his past. The Flying Graysons. His family.

It feels wrong. Off. Because he doesn’t live in the manor anymore. He doesn’t have photos of Kori in his room. And—most importantly—his bedroom has never looked this neat.

Not ever. There are no scattered pieces of his suit on the floor waiting to be washed. No mess of training gear dumped in a corner. Just sneakers. Gym clothes.

Then he hears it—a scream.

Jason. Dick tries to get up, but his body is too damn exhausted. It feels like lead, weighing him down. He can’t move. And for one horrible second, he wonders—maybe he died. Maybe he died and somehow took Jason with him.

The next to wake up is Tim—

Tim, who was already frustrated, tangled up in his own emotions. He had too much on his plate—leading his own team, growing distant from the manor, finishing his GED to leave high school early. Too many things were happening.

He wakes up to the sound of screaming.

For a second, he thinks he’s still in Gotham, still in the middle of that fight. But when he blinks, he’s somewhere else—another bedroom. And this one is a mess. Clothes on the floor, sneakers everywhere, a couple of skateboards tossed in a corner, video games and comics scattered around. The kind of room an eighteen-year-old should have.

Slowly, he opens his eyes.

He doesn’t feel the aches from past fights. He feels… lighter. His memories are hazy, and he can’t lie—this is weird. The light streaming through his window feels too warm, too bright. But the last thing he remembers? He was in Gotham, in the middle of a brutal winter.

And then—the worst part.

When he fully opens his eyes, he sees it.

A uniform.

One he knows from his nightmares.

Gotham Academy.

His blood runs cold. He’s convinced he’s trapped in a time loop. That somehow, he’s been sent back to high school.

And when he stumbles out of bed and catches sight of a framed photo—one of him and Conner Kent sitting on a shelf—he promptly passes out.

Yeah, sure, maybe the others think they’ve died.

But Tim?

Tim is convinced he’s in hell.

The last to wake up is Damian Wayne.

And he wakes up full of irritation, because the last thing he remembers is yelling at Drake, Jason, and Grayson—calling them idiots for letting their emotions get in the way of the fight. Telling them they were acting like children when they should’ve been handling the real problem. But now? Now he’s lying in bed, surrounded by warmth. His cat is curled up at his side. His dogs—Titus and Ace—are sprawled across the floor. Even Grayson’s new puppy, Haley, is nestled beside him. A tiny, scruffy thing missing a leg, one that Damian had reluctantly (not really) half-adopted in his head.

It’s the screaming that wakes him. That, and the warmth.

Because it doesn’t make sense. Why is the sun streaming into his room? Why does it feel like July when they were just in December? They were days away from the holidays.

And now this. The first thing he sees are his animals. Did the fight end that quickly? Did he lose consciousness? His body isn’t injured, his skills are intact—nothing about his reflexes feels off.

But the room?

That’s what unsettles him. The walls are covered with things—art, sports memorabilia, books, musical instruments. A guitar. Sure, he knows how to play, but he’s never been the kind of person to keep one in his bedroom. And speaking of his bedroom…

This isn’t it.

It’s missing things. His weapons. His swords. The League of Assassins insignias. His belongings. But what truly throws him off?

A framed photo. One of him and his mother.

Talia al Ghul never took photos. Not with him. Not with anyone. The League of Assassins didn’t believe in cameras, in preserving memories like that. And yet, here it is.

And that’s when it finally sinks in. Something is very, very wrong.

That’s how it happens. A wild fight. A teenager with uncontrolled, inexplicable powers. And just like that, the Batfamily wakes up in another universe.

A universe with no powers. No aliens. No world-ending crises. Just an ordinary life. And the only thing they know for sure?

Five of them find themselves in a living room. A living room that is distinctly not theirs. Because their living room is grand, filled with history, with antique furniture and endless shadows.

But this? This looks like something out of an interior design magazine. Minimalist. Sleek. A massive TV taking up the wall.

The others? Duke, Steph, Cass?

Yeah.

Their experiences waking up are even worse.

So, yeah. This is what I have in mind. I don’t know if I’ll keep writing—it depends on how this goes. These ideas just keep coming to me, and I’m debating whether to drop all of this as a one-shot or turn it into a full fic on AO3.

I’d love to hear thoughts on it—believe me, I have a lot more ideas.

[maaikeatthefullmoon]

Last GO mini-meta thoughts...probably?

And this is probably the most contentious one?

There's been discussions after some hints in opening credits and posters in backgrounds, and also from the distinct differences between the POVs in GO2, about the significance of dreams, dream sequences, reality, etc.

I think the overall, overarching, entire story is all a dream - probably Adam's.

Originally I think the storyline may have been a tiny bit different, but perhaps due to the love everyone has for Az & Crowley, it may have altered a bit, but I think they are somehow significant in his life - parents perhaps, or the nice people who live next door? Originally probably two toys he was playing with, but I have a feeling that will have been changed a bit.

And the other characters who kept on appearing and re-appearing (Maggie, Nina, Shax, Furfur, who knows who else might be in the Finale) are people in his everyday life. We all have dreams where someone pops up...and then pops up again, completely out of context. Familiar faces that just come back again and again.

So the ending that would satisfy some, and not others, would be a happy one, a happy world, nothing ended, nothing damaged, the human versions of A & C happy together, in love somewhere (hopefully somewhere in the South Downs NP region).

When I put my logical Pratchett brain on, this is where it ultimately extrapolated to, all the way at the end.

[mint-in-the-moonlight]

putting the poly back in polytheism

something that I've noticed in neo-pagan/polytheist spaces is this focus on one or a few deities. while this is a valid approach and seems to be working amazingly for many people, i wanted to write a short defence of a different form of polytheism that, while maybe less visible on social media, is equally viable.

the poly in polytheism necessitates the belief in multiple gods however modern forms of worship take many different forms on top of that. from my years being in pagan spaces on social media I have noticed that to many, being a polytheist means worshipping one or a handful of gods and having very close relationships with them. which deities someone chooses to have this kind of relationship with stems from multiple possible sources, for example, personal interest, the deity's domain being somehow related to a person's life or an inexplicable draw to them.

to me, this seems to be the dominant view on social media of the form that neo-paganism takes, however, after years of exploring my spirituality and practice, I have come to the conclusion that this is not how I want to worship. I am writing this post for more people like me, who are interested in exploring this often less mainstream approach.

an ancient template

reading about Ancient Greek and Roman civilisations I was always struck by the number of minor deities with hyper-specific domains and associations. as a modern pagan, I could not understand the appeal of worshipping such a deity, ie. using so much time and resources to build a relationship for only a handful of niche issues that you could approach them with.

but as I kept reading and exploring, I realised that I was approaching polytheism completely differently than the ancients did. they truly did live in a world full of gods and they did not require a relationship built over days, if not weeks or more, to approach a deity and ask for their aid.

as long as you followed the rules of reciprocity, you could approach any deity that was relevant to your situation because they were the best equipped to help you with your problem. now this is not true for all of the population all the time, there were definitely also for example, people devoted to one deity, but from my understanding, this seemed to be the general form that polytheism took in those ancient civilisations.

the influence of monotheism

I think another feature of online neo-paganism is this expansion of the major deities' domains which then removes the need to worship the smaller deities. now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for expanding the domains of deities, especially if this is done from a revivalist perspective in order to modernise them for the contemporary worshipper. but sometimes I feel like completely unrelated domains are added for the sake of convenience more than anything else, ie. so that someone can keep worshipping the same deity(ies) without approaching others.

this, in my opinion, goes against one of the core aspects of polytheism which is the idea that different gods rule over different domains and have power over them. following this idea, it would make very little sense to pray to Neptune during air travel as he has no influence over the skies. yet, I sometimes see the deities be treated more like monotheistic gods which are all-powerful and can influence anything in the world.

if this is your view of how the gods work, that's fine, but I feel like sometimes people accept it without questioning it much or thinking about their view of theology at all. after mulling this idea over for some time, I realised it made much more sense to approach those specific deities, even if they are much less known or minor because this fits into my beliefs about polytheism much better.

a poly-practice

so, how would a poly-polytheistic practice look like in the modern day? well, there are many ways to go about it but I will just share bits from my own experience.

what I have ended up doing is focusing on different deities as they become relevant in my life - I focused on worshipping Janus at the beginning of the year while also taking the time to pray to Fortuna in moment when I needed her aid. I then did some extra reading on Jupiter, but didn't forget to thank Mars every time I went to the gym. I no longer felt the pressure to have some sort of special "connection" to every deity or "feel their presence", just trusting that they are there and then catching glimpses of divinity in my daily life.

looking into which Roman festivals I wanted to celebrate also opened my perspectives to more deities I would not have otherwise worshipped on my own. like this, I feel like I am building an arsenal of deities I can turn to when I need and of course, it is also vital to remember that I can call on multiple ones at the same time, just like the Romans saw the gods aiding one another in their tasks.

I only have one altar, which is practical and thus quite minimalistic, but there is space for my prayer notebook as well as other supplies that I need for my rituals.

conclusion

of course, this kind of practice results in a much more "impersonal" relationship with the gods, but I never really felt the need to communicate with them directly or things like that, so it fits me well. I find comfort in imagining a world full of gods, who may only know me in passing but who look out for me nevertheless.

in the end, the goal of this post is not to change anyone's mind about how they worship, but to present an alternate perspective which you can learn from but also completely disregard. in the end I am just happy that you were interested enough to reach until the end of this post. thank you for reading!!

[pagannatural]

2.20 What Is and What Should Never Be

- the djinn episode. much to think about

-Dean makes a comment on the phone with Sam about a hot actress and Sam says “are you even listening to me?” in this very effeminate way, it’s adorable.

- Dean says he’s going to check out a possible lair and Sam says “wait no no no come pick me up first” all little brother wanting to go along, but Dean hangs up on him. The next shot of Sam holding the disconnected phone and turning his head is taken from above which makes him seem small, indicating that he’s probably feeling worried or left out. He’s afraid what will happen to Dean and he wants to be a part of the hunt.

- Dean gets got by the djinn.

Okay, so in order to analyze any of the characters and events in Dean’s djinn-dream we need to understand what exactly is going on. My interpretation is that, as Dean explains toward the end of the episode, it’s not a perfect fantasy or a representation of Dean’s truest desires. It’s just the djinn picking up on his strongest wish and what he thinks his life would be like were it fulfilled. His wish is that his mom never died in a fire. The whole dream is a product of this wish and what Dean assumes would’ve happened/where the djinn’s magic takes him.

However, this wish-world is flawed because it’s limited by the things Dean is limited by. He can imagine having many of the things he wants, like a girlfriend and a regular job, but his wish isn’t that he could be happy, his wish is that the defining tragedy of his life had never happened and therefore the people he loves the most could be happy. So although he and his mom and Sam are alive and well, there are also a lot of things wrong in the dream. The things that are wrong are therefore very telling:

I think he has an alcohol problem in the dream because he figures that even if things were different he would screw up or not be good enough in some very important ways. Again, it’s just a wish- his beliefs about himself haven’t changed.

John doesn’t make an appearance because Dean can’t really imagine a healthy relationship with him or any version of him at all that doesn’t revolve around hunting.

He and Sam aren’t on good terms because they never hunted together. Dean fears that the only thing that binds Sam to him is their fucked up history. He thinks that if their mom hadn’t died, Sam would’ve had the things that he’s said he wanted: graduated from Stanford, studying law, engaged to a beautiful woman. This is what Dean assumes Sam would’ve become. He assumes they would not be close and that he himself would lowkey be a fuck-up, albeit a fuck-up in a more common way.

So what is the significance? This suggests that Dean believes his relationship with Sam and his place in Sam’s life was only earned through raising him and taking care of him, which he wouldn’t have done if their lives were normal. His self-worth stems from his relationship with Sam and his ability to care for him and love him, so in the dream Dean has the outline of the normal life he wants to want, but he’s also not a person he would respect. Even his djinn-girlfriend tells him (jokingly) she’s with him because she has low standards. He doesn’t have the job he said in s1 that he always wanted, which is being a firefighter. He works in a garage just like his dad did. He doesn’t save people. And most damning of all, he’s ruined his relationship with Sam by letting him down over and over. He’s completely lost himself. So yeah, this is far from a reflection of Dean’s deepest desires.

- Another element that needs unpacking in terms of what exactly is going on in the dream is that Sam has a point of view. Djinn-Sam is still his own character, he’s shown to have thoughts and reactions even when Dean isn’t around or isn’t looking. He has his own point of view even though he exists in Dean’s head. So how is it possible for the version of Sam that exists in Dean’s subconscious to act independently of Dean?

My interpretation is that the characters in the dream are animated by the Djinn’s magic, which has a purpose. Its purpose is to make the dream appealing so that the victim will remain unconscious and happy rather than trying to wake up. This is why, when Dean realizes that he is actually unconscious, the other characters from the dream appear to him to try and convince him not to wake up and to stay with them forever. They have a directive. The characters follow this directive by behaving in ways that Dean both expects and wishes for. I really don’t think they’re the djinn or that they’re nefarious, I think they’re just Dean’s conceptions of the people they represent. They don’t really act out of character, aside from the fact that their purpose is to fulfill Dean’s wish and keep him from waking.

So basically, djinn-Sam is his own character because he’s animated by the djinn’s magic, but all of his thoughts and feelings and behaviors are both what Dean wishes for and what he would expect under the circumstances.

So. Keeping that in mind as we take a look at Djinn-Sam.

-Sam’s response to Dean calling him late at night is to giggle and say “you’re drunk dialing me.” Drunk dialing is very much a trope used to link romantic interests. Also he picks up after the first ring. Sam is eager to hear from Dean and flirts with him even though they’re on the outs -> Dean wants and expects Sam to answer his calls immediately and flirtatiously

- Dean asks his mom where Sam is and says “I’m dying to see him.”

Dean is literally dying, hanging by his wrists with his blood slowly draining out of him, so that he can see a version of Sam who is happy. He’s thrilled to see his mom, but a huge part of this wish is seeing Sam happy and educated and successful and loved. Dean seems truly, glowingly happy and proud of Sam. It’s this part of him that wishes Sam had everything Dean couldn’t give him and that wishes they could both not only be normal but be fulfilled by anything besides one another.

- From the conversation Dean has with himself at his dad’s grave, it’s clear that he doesn’t believe his dad cared much about his personal happiness. He’s sacrificed himself in so many ways for his entire life at the altar of his dad’s mission, but now that Sam’s humanity is on the line it’s too much. He increasingly just doesn’t want to do this any more.

- When Dean decides to go after the djinn and reenacts the break-in scene from the pilot, it cues a reset in his relationship with Sam in this world. From this point Sam has to change his behavior if there’s any hope of Dean staying, so he starts to act a lot more like the version of Sam that Dean knows and loves in real life. This Sam is still saying and doing things that Dean wants and acting how Dean would expect him to act, but now the context has changed. He’s doing more of what Dean wants and breaking from the version Dean assumes would exist if their mom were alive.

-> Dean’s wish for Sam to be happy and normal is not as strong as his need to be close to Sam, for Sam to choose him and follow him and leave everything else behind to be together. Ostensibly Dean doesn’t ask Sam to come with him, but it’s his head and Sam is doing whatever will convince Dean to stay, so ultimately this is Dean. He needs Sam.

- Dean apologizes to Sam and Sam gives him this incredibly guarded look

and then this deeply worried and scared look

and then he decides to go with Dean “because you’re still my brother” which is the affirmation Dean needs. “Because we’re brothers” for these two is a deeper and holier connection than any other. And the way Sam is now more vulnerable and scared for Dean is exactly what Dean is used to from his little brother.

- Sam is trying to help and Dean says “what, you protect me? That’s hilarious.” It’s probably hilarious because this version of Sam is a pansy by their usual standards, but in reality Sam is on his way to find Dean and protect him. Dean keeps accidentally saying things that are true in real time.

- when she’s trying to convince Dean to stay in the dream, Mary promises no pain or fear, just love and comfort and safety, and specifically not worrying about Sam any more and watching him live a full life. So we have the bones of Dean’s deepest wish: love, comfort, safety, and to see Sam happy and safe.

In reality, Sam can only be any important kind of happy and safe when he’s with Dean. And the love that Dean wants can only come from Sam.

- Dean says “I’m sorry” to Sam, and only Sam, before plunging the knife into his heart and waking up. Mary and his dream-girlfriend are right there. His dead mom who he wished back to life is right there. But he looks at this version of Sam to say he’s sorry before waking up. This feels like another thing that he wants to tell Sam in real life but can’t.

- Dean has been tied up bleeding and on drugs for probably not that long but long enough that he lost consciousness and yet he snaps the remaining bits of rope with brute strength and kills the djinn when Sam is threatened. So he not only gets himself out of the djinn’s spell, but also saves Sam. And then he goes straight to help the other victim. It’s such a stark contrast to the man he thinks he would have been.

- Dean tells Sam that the dream wasn’t a perfect fantasy, it was just a wish, and that since he and Sam never became hunters they “never…” and Sam says “I’m glad we do.”

Never what? And is Sam saying he’s glad they hunt together or he’s glad that they became what they are to each other? This phrasing is purposefully vague. But it highlights Sam’s resolve this season in actually choosing to hunt, he’s not just doing it because he feels obligated. Even in the opening scene to this episode, remember how Sam asked to come along with Dean and went out looking for him right away when he hung up.

Dean looks at him so sadly, one eyebrow raised, like he doesn’t believe him that he’s glad, or doesn’t want to. He’s skeptical that Sam is really choosing this, or him.

- Sam tells Dean “I’m glad you dug yourself out, most people wouldn’t have had the strength” and Sam is the researcher so he probably knows this is true of djinn victims. It’s one of so many things that Sam admires and looks up to about Dean.

But Dean doesn’t want to be strong any more. He wants to stop worrying about Sam. Dean says all he can think about is how much this job’s cost them, and it’s Sam who argues that saving people’s lives hurts and isn’t fair but is worth it.

Dean’s eyes flick to Sam in this vulnerable, fearful way. I think he’s thinking about Sam here, about how nothing could be worth losing him. Not all the lives they’ve saved, not getting his mom back, nothing. He had to dig deep to find the will to wake up and his reason is Sam. Dean knows he’s in love with Sam and would do anything for him, but he believes he’s only as good as his ability to care for him, and those two things are at constant war. I think he thinks that if they could walk away from this life and be normal maybe Sam could be safe, even though he knows that’s not true.

[broidobe]

𝔪𝔢𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔭𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔢, 𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔰, 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔰 𝔴𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔩𝔲𝔡𝔢

requested by 🕷️!! this is meeting his parents+his friends+how you two met!

⁎⁺˳✧༚black metal masterlist

𝔪𝔢𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔰

meeting pelle’s parents was… awkward. but honestly, what else would you expect?

his mom was polite but distant, offering a quiet, “nice to meet you,” before quickly turning back to whatever she was doing. his dad, on the other hand? stiff as a board, barely looking at you, like he was trying to figure out if you were just another phase pelle was going through.

the silence was heavy. uncomfortable. pelle kept looking at you like, sorry, they’re just like this, and you swore you could feel his dad sizing you up, mentally judging every little thing about you.

it wasn’t that they disapproved—not exactly. they were just… emotionally closed off, like their son. the kind of people who didn’t say much but felt a lot. and maybe, in a way, that explained pelle himself—why he never quite fit in anywhere, why he always seemed like he was living in his own world.

they weren’t cruel. just distant. and the only time his mom really acknowledged you was when she pulled pelle aside later and quietly asked, “does this one make you happy?”

and when pelle nodded, not even hesitating, she just gave a small nod back.

that was all she needed to know.

𝔪𝔢𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔰

his friends were a whole different story.

the first time you met them, you got the distinct feeling that they were testing you. watching how you handled their weird humor, their brutal jokes, their complete lack of a filter.

euronymous, of course, was the worst—smirking like he was waiting for you to slip up, constantly making some cryptic, borderline offensive comment just to see if you’d get rattled.

hellhammer barely acknowledged you, too busy dicking around with something completely unrelated, and necrobutcher was the only one who gave you a semi-normal greeting.

and pelle? he just stood there, watching everything unfold, like he was waiting to see if you’d survive them.

but the moment you threw back a sarcastic remark at euronymous—matching his energy, refusing to back down—that was it.

pelle grinned. necrobutcher chuckled under his breath. even hellhammer seemed slightly amused.

and euronymous? he just nodded, muttering, “alright. you’ll do.”

that was their version of acceptance.

you were in.

𝔥𝔬𝔴 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔪𝔢𝔱 𝔭𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔢

it wasn’t some grand, dramatic story. no wild concert. no intense first meeting.

it was just… quiet.

a record store, late at night, both of you flipping through the same section. you noticed him because he looked so out of place—tall, pale as hell, wearing some old band tee and looking completely lost in thought as he trailed his fingers along the edges of the vinyl covers.

and maybe it was fate, or maybe just pure coincidence, but you both reached for the same record at the same time.

your hands touched.

pelle blinked, pulling back instantly, muttering some awkward, “sorry.”

you just laughed. “no, go ahead. you had it first.”

he hesitated. then, after a beat, he glanced at you and said, “you like morbid angel?”

and just like that, a conversation started.

at first, he was quiet—like he wasn’t sure if he should be talking to you at all. but then you said something about how altars of madness was one of the best albums ever, and that was it.

something shifted.

his eyes lit up. his posture relaxed. and before you knew it, the two of you were standing there for hours, talking about everything—music, horror movies, weird dreams, the feeling of never quite belonging anywhere.

by the time the store closed, it didn’t even feel like a first meeting.

it felt like you had already known each other forever.

and when pelle hesitated before leaving, glancing at you like he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure if he should—

you smiled. “see you around, pelle.”

and for the first time that night, he actually smiled back.

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

It’s Rant Time Again, Friends!

And today’s rant is brought to you by the silliness that came scross my Twitter feed this week in the form of an absolutely pointless question, but even more so by some of the asinine answers I saw. Some of you probably already saw this (and responded) if you’re on Twitter, so I’m not screenshotting it. Besides, people are allowed to ask (stupid) questions. But, I’m also allowed to comment on how dumb the questions are.

The Question:

“If it came down to saving Sam or Cas, who do you think Dean would save first?”

Question Issues:

If someone watched the show at all, the answer to this question is more than obvious. But the question isn’t even just “who would Dean save” but “who would Dean save first?” I mean the answer to both is the same, but surly even the “found family” crew of fans should be able to recognize that Dean will always try to save Sam first. The ones who claim otherwise have to be knowingly lying, because if not … I fear for society that people are that lack that much media literacy.

The responses:

So, here’s what gets me even more than the “innocent” question, the responses. Of course the vast majority of reposts and replies are saying some variation of “Sam, obviously.” Because it is obvious. The show has showed us again and sngsinghdt Dean would put Sam’s life above his own, his parents, his friends, anyone.

But what’s really amusing/annoying/sad is seeing people twisting themselves into pretzels just to avoid having to admit the truth. These are the ones saying things like:

“Dean would find a way to save both of them!” - Would he though? When “Zeke” gave Dean the ultimatum between sending a penniless, powerless, helpless and hunted Castiel out into the world on his own … or him leaving Sam, stopping the healing and potentially (only potentially) resulting in Sam dying, there is no hesitation. Dean clearly feels bad, but he tosses Cas out on his ass in a blink. What does he not do? He doesn’t try to arrange something so they are both safe. Hell, he doesn’t even give Cas anything to help feed, cloth or protect himself. He just sends him out into the world to try and figure shit out on his own.

“Dean would kill/sacrifice himself, if it meant he could save Cas, too.” - Umm, where have we ever seen him put Cas above himself? Would he risk his life to save Castiel? Of course he would, but he would also risk his life to try and save a complete stranger. That sort of comes with the territory of being a hunter. But the only person Dean has ever directly and intentionally sacrificed himself for is Sam. I saw some argue that he was willing to kill or himself to bring Cas back after Chuck snapped everyone away in Season 15, but that’s a misinterpretation (selective listening), common among hellers and Cas stans, of what Dean is actually saying. Dean and Sam say they will kill each other if Chuck will bring everyone back, including Cas. They are not offering to do this just for Cas, it’s for the world. Besides, in his scenario I get the feeling that the intention is for both Sam and Dean to die, so they’ll go out together to save everyone else.

“Dean would save Sam, but his life would be over, or he’d give up after without Cas.” - LMAO. No. Unless you want to argue that a smiling happy and content Dean is secretly trying to drown his sorrows in the finale when Sam is the one to bring up Jack and Cas, and Dean is basically like, “yeah sure, losing them was sad or whatever, but like we gotta live Sam. Now let’s destroy this pie.”

And my personal favourite…

“It totally depends on what season of the show we are talking about.” - Bitch please, it would make no difference. There isn’t a single episode, let alone whole Season, where Desn would try to save Cas before, or instead of, Sam. See my examples from Season 9 and 15 above. There are so many examples of Dean not doing much to save Cas, vs him begging, pleading, or trading humans to save Sam.

[amelil-lita]

MEET SOREN: He comes in 2 variations!

My precious PCs! They're like mirror images, but also made to be completely different from one another.

They were made to sorta fit an archetype I often see in media (cough cough, bls, cough), and it wasn't until a few weeks ago where I really started fleshing them out more as their own characters in their own world.

My favorite to draw is Airhead! He's my baby, as I started my very first save with a shy, meek character just like him who I consider to be his prototype. He's great anatomy practice (and by that I mean staring at the screen, wishing I knew how to draw while imagining "mmmmmmm yes tittee").

Some general facts:

• Airhead is about 182 cm; Fiend is 165 cm (heights may change...)

• Both are bottom leaning — Airhead is submissive and masochistic, while Fiend is dominant and sadist + masochist. Airhead is more likely to be willing to top than Fiend

• Fiend leans on the smaller side in terms of pp. Make fun of him and he will never talk to you again. He means it >:(

• Fiend has a smaller body while Airhead has a larger body. Fiend is more likely to fight, though, despite his smaller frame and weaker physique. Airhead is accidentally defiant

• Airhead is dumb boy. Big fat dumby dumb. His grades? Uh... well, at least he tries! Fiend is smart but he doesn't apply himself

• Airhead is optimistic and idealistic, while Fiend is cynical and pragmatic. This comes from their upbringings prior coming to the orphanage

• They both like their TFs! Airhead likes being a cow, and kinda (in a messed up way) enjoys being on the farm because of Remy. Brat finds the demon tf a lot of fun. He'd find it more annoying if he didn't live around people constantly horny for him

[yellowocaballero]

do you think there's a significant difference between the league of assassins in dc and the hand in marvel?

I am a bizarre person to ask about this, considering how I'm extremely not a comics expert at all. I'm aware that the answer can't be JUST 'no, because of orientalism'. They are definitely from the same wellspring of orientalist Mystic Evil Ninja Tribe. But actually yes there are pretty significant differences.

They're both Mystical Supernatural Ninja Groups, but the League's only strongly supernatural basis is the Lazarus Pits. They live in a remote area in a remote country, which is frequently where people train and live in seclusion. Ra's does have World Domination TM goals, so they definitely get involved in some good old fashioned Terrorisms, but as a general rule they aren't involved in day to day world stuff. Ra's is also the completely unquestioned leader and the al Ghuls are really the only significant characters to ever come out of the League. They also tend to kinda mind their own business as a whole and don't get involved in a lot of non-Batman storylines, and most of their storylines even with Batman are because the al Ghuls are obsessed with Batman as a guy.

The Hand is much closer to a yakuza or organized crime ring. They are much more solidly Japanese than the League of Assassin's stronger Middle Eastern influences. They are ALSO devil worshippers, but they just get much more involved in worldly stuff. Like the Nazis I think. They got really involved with the Kingpin and do more supervillain shit. Like half a dozen superheroes are constantly getting involved with them all the time, although they are very much regularly Daredevil's problem.

[11queensupreme11]

I honestly haven't fully figured it out yet and I don't know what I might come up with going forward, but for now I thought it would be really funny if she was a pjo!verse mortal because

You know all those times Percy became a world famous terrorist? Yes. MC has heard about them and even though Percy was innocent in the end the mist makes the story so vague and disjointed in an attempt to cover up the mythological stuff. Because of this, she is much more worried about Percy in the beginning and sees her as a ticking time bomb, constantly recalling all the times there has been a new explosion involving Percilla Jackson on the news. Оf course, in the end it will be clear that Percy is not the danger that should be worried about, even the complete opposite. But I'm going to try to stretch this subplot as much as possible because the MISUNDERSTANDING LMFAO.

We can get a different perspective on the events that happened in pjo (like the Battle of Manhattan) through the eyes of ordinary people and how it inpacted their lives.

Regarding the crumbling soul issue, I want to explore the difference between Percilla, who learns from a young age what curses and problems it means to be a god, and MC, who is only aware of an idealized perfect version of immortality. It will take her a while before she realizes their true nature, but will it be too late and she will already be one of them? 😏

Also this story will be my way of trying to find the answer to why the Bisford dragged them there lmaoo. (I probably won't contrive anything, but the important thing is to try 😂)

I think the fear and awe she has of Percy in the beginning while thinking of her as a terrorist 😭 will appease the yans enough to see her for what she is which is just an annoying pet who will die in a few decades (which is like a few months to them lol) and until then they'll just put up with her and keep her alive because if that's what Percy wants..well who are they to say no?

Poor Percy in the beginning when she just wants to be her friend and will wonder why MC can't just trust her when she's doing everything she can to help her survive. Eventually they'll figure things out and laugh later, but until then the only ones laughing are us watching the ridiculous situations they get into 😂😂

(and the idea of ​​ariel saving her from drowning is so good omg. if it's ok can i use it somewhere in the story?🥺❤️ )

hold the fuck up THAT'S GENIUS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

MC THINKING PERCY'S A TERRORIST????? hold on this totally reminds me of this super long-winded tumblr post someone made a long time ago about mortals recognizing percy because of his "crimes" and then doing some internet-sleuthing and discovering other sus kids like annabeth, nico, leo, jason and thalia, hazel, etc. 😭😭😭

i truly hope you manage to find a way to stretch out that subplot cuz that's hilarious 😭😭😭 mc being afraid of PERCY when she's actually the most decent person in that entire universe afajshfvahf 💀💀💀 and poor percy just being like "why human no like me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺" throughout it all like a sad puppy 😂

AND A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE ABOUT THE PJO EVENTS???? mc was there to experience some of that chaos!? now you got me curious how old mc is. was she around the same age as percy??? how old would she be in the story now that some time has passed? or are you gonna put a time difference between the two universes (like hundreds of years have passed in ror verse, but back in pjo, percy's only been missing for like 5?). ooooh, is this set after hoo? what's the state of the pjo verse without percy there to stop gaea??? i'm so curious lol, dw you don't have to answer these

I ALSO LOVE THE DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES OF IMMORTALITY/GODHOOD. it is very normal for people to like the thought of immortality/godhood because they have a rose tinted view of it. ppl don't immediately think of the downsides like "omg i'm gonna leave my family behind forever, i can't get attached to other mortals cuz they'll die while i live on, can i really handle all of this???" cuz the whole "be beautiful looking and perfect forever, have unlimited power, control the universe!!!!!" part of godhood would sound sooooo good to ppl.

it reminds me of twilight tbh LMAO. like how bella loved the thought of becoming a vampire, so she could be beautiful, live forever, and be with edward whereas rosalie had a more realistic view of it because she knew the downsides. mc would be like bella and percy would be like rosalie in a way lol (which actually kinda fits cuz the immortality was forced onto both of them. rosalie was also turned to be a potential mate for edward, similarly how percy was turned due to the obsessions of her 7 yan hubbies 💀). ngl, i'm hyped for the misunderstanding trope cuz that's hilarious, but i'm looking forward to this part of the most!

AND YES YOU MAY USE THE "ariel saving mc from drowning" IDEA!!! 💖💖

[astertimberwolf]

We're all survivors of one too many bad things happening to us. I've healed from a lot, but CPTSD still makes me feel like I'm the lonelist of all, at times... Mostly because of trust issues. It becomes so hard to trust again and so easy to become a hermit or social recluse who never wants to leave their safe space or interact with other people ever again- out of fear of being abused, hurt, let down, disappointed, etc. all over- for the umpteenth time.

I think the thing that stings the most is- knowing, deep down, that the likelihood of you finding love... AKA someone who understands you wholly, respects you, cherishes you, supports you and wants to know- and love every single part of you... Is close to none. At least for me it is- or feels that way. When people look at me, they only see my mental health issues, my quirks, my defects, my vulnerabilities- or worse yet: my past mistakes. They're not able to see that there's a complex, emotionally deep, sensitive, empathetic, caring conscious being underneath all this.

Yes, I'm autistic and have ADHD. Yes, I suffer from Complex PTSD, which can lead to unfounded anxiety or depressive bouts from time to time- and hinder my ability to socialize and connect to others... But I've got a lot of love to give as well, a past- complete with a stupid number of experiences, both good and bad... a story to tell- a personality, which, while quirky, doesn't make me repulsive or hard to be around. I've also got lots of hobbies and interests as well... In short, I'm not just another "walking, talking problem" or "NPC you can interact with". I'm a person that can add color to your life. All you have to do is take some time to get to know me. If you're not a bad person, then I don't bite at all and won't retreat into myself to safeguard my wellbeing.

Life is so short, yet so many people have been traumatized or are socially maladapted to a stupid degree because they grew up on toxic social media... Wouldn't it be amazing if it became easier to form bonds and deeper connections with people? If we learnt to communicate and respect each other more? Live in harmony despite being very different? Share laughs, good memories and find company in one-another?

I don't know if this pain is just a consequence of having CPTSD- or if it's a whole slew of generations that depended on the internet for everything and, now, don't know how to form meaningful friendships / relationships with one-another.

If we want to change things for the better, we have to start putting more time, effort and points into empathy and mutual understanding. I have... But so many people I have come across have not, and it's deeply saddening and disheartening that nobody takes the time to develop their emotional intelligence or maturity any more... I want a better world and better people...

...a better future. I'm fighting for all that, tooth and nail. But will people join my plea and fight? Can we turn this around...? Be it through investing more time in platforms where you actually have a semblance of seeing a person in front of you like VRChat- or even creating new places where people can gather and help one another?

I don't know anymore. I'm rambling at this point. But I think these are real problems that everyone is just looking away from or denying the existence of by pretending everything is fine... It really is not. Can we make this year, a year where humanity starts slowly turning around and becomes a truly social, communal species again- instead of this individualistic, narcissistic, consumeristic / capitalistic nonsense? I know the former sounds political, but it really isn't. Look at how the most popular social media platforms are designed to enrage us, manipulate us, degrade our attention, ability to function- and click on stupid ragebait and misinformation. All for the sake of targeted adverts, engagement... And at the end of the day, money. It's always about that and not people's wellbeing. Is there a way to stop this and start over? :(

believe me, it hurts like hell to face the fact no one is coming to save you.. but fighting to save yourself can give you a connection to yourself that no one else can give you. it's a feeling that honestly can't be put into words. but it's so worth sticking around for.

and this doesn't mean you have to fight alone. there will be people in your life who can help tend your wounds. give you a safe space to rest. teach you how to strengthen the parts of yourself that are injured. or simply be with you in between battles, doing all the wonderful things that make life worth living, together.

i don't know if that made sense. i just want anyone else going through it to know there is another side to the hopelessness and desperation you're feeling. maybe it won't feel like mine is. but i do hope it's just as rewarding for you. you deserve that much, and so much more.

whatever you're facing now does not have to be the end of you. keep going. i promise you're worth it.

[non-un-topo]

Slept on it and I'm actually still a little pissed at the girl(s) in my class yesterday who kept misgendering me and obviously had no idea what a pronoun was even after I explained mine very kindly and casually, because tbh it was embarrassing for me. And kudos to my prof who also couldn't care less. Let's hope today's class goes better.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

winston my quant of billions

[radaedan]

Ohhhh man, I just found out something cool.

(TW : Mentions of self-harm. Mentions of blood and sacrificial rituals. Nothing graphic though.)

(Och-Kan’s name is taken from a serpent deity of Mayan pantheon so-)

Though I shall bring my own refutation here. The undertones between Mayan bloodletting & Och-Kan's self-harm are different. Whereas in Mayan world, bloodletting was an incredibly sacred thing and was done for ritualistic purposes, Och-Kan's bloodletting seemingly was spurred in an explosion of self-hatred. He probably had nothing holy or sacred thing in his mind when he made that cut.

Butttttt, as I am delusional, I also brought my own counter-argument of how this context could also work.

Again, bloodletting was done for ritualistic purposes, from the most mundane activities to those performed by the elites to maintain their rules. In a way, this was how the Mayans 'barter' to the Gods to fulfil their wishes.

The elites used this to show the powers they had by sacrificing their bloods to the Gods. Thus, they legitimized their rules to the people and maintained the social order to kneel at them. These kind of sacrifices were usually done in public.

And usually, the body parts they cut correlated with their intended results of their bloodletting, their wishes.

(Do you think Och-Kan also had cut it down there to get say gex with Xbal-)

Now, let us correlate all of this with Och-Kan's situation when he cut himself.

• Och-Kan was probably at his lowest. Ochkanatlan was in ruin, Daddy Dearest was on his way, and his body tainted with abyssal filth, slowly turning into a dragon.

• As in per OP's observation, he probably made a cut on his right arm.

• The city was burning, or already turned into ashes by then. No one would see him walking to the mural, no masses to witness him, no friends to accompany him. He was completely all alone.

What would a person do in his situation ?

Besides an explosion of self-loathing, I think it was also Och-Kan's last desperate attempt to take control of his situation.

• He did the cut to somehow purify the abyssal taint in his body, or the city itself. As the Gods had sacrificed parts of their bodies in order to give life to humans, Och-Kan perhaps thought that he returned some of it, they would take pity and save his city and the humans he dearly loved. Of course, Och-Kan despised all deities except you-know-who, but what else he could do ?

Or... maybe, in a contradiction between self-grandeur and self-loathing, Och-Kan thought that maybe he was the God who shall sacrifice his body part instead. That he could give lives back to the humans and curb the consequences of his own actions, with his own blood.

• He wanted to show to everyone, anyone, that the situation was under his control. To maintain social order. To calm the masses that the disaster would pass and everything would be back to normal. Don't they see ? His bloods flowed with ease. They showed his power within, the power he still had. His demonstration of power. It was his way to scream, "Order, Order ! I am your Lord, I am still your Lord ! Witness how I sacrifice my blood to maintain peace and security among you ! Witness how I cut deep to save every single one of you ! I'm the one who still rule here ! Hark, I am still your Lord !"

No one was there to applause him, to cheer him. No one was there to even witness him.

• Remember, the body parts one cut correlated with your intended wish. What did Och-Kan wish by cutting his right arm ? I did not find what each body parts correspond to the kind of wishes, unfortunately 😓 so let us take an educated guess.

Right arm is, for the majority of us, our dominant hand. That is what we use to work, to do activities, to socialize. That is what we use to do our things in this world. When someone is a reliable person to their leader, they're called "the right hand man/woman."

Mayhaps... Och-Kan wanted to set the things... right. To go back to his work, his normalcy, as normal as his life had been. He wanted his city back, his people back, his friends back, the things he did in this world. He wanted to be someone reliable, someone people could trust, to be the "right hand man" of...

Maybe he wanted for someone to grab his arm, his hand, to pull him out of his misery. Someone who witness his cut and hear his cries and look at the flow of his blood, and help him.

For someone to save him.

Alas.

His wound only turned into scabs and his blood splattered mural would be his only witness. The proud face beneath the blood taunting him. The blood would dry and stayed for millenias to come, shaping a visage of golden orange mask of horns.

No one saves the king.

hello och-kanation. me and my good friend @osteichthyens have made a discovery.

(trigger warning for mentions of self harm under cut)

(...pun not intended.)

so how come no one is talking about how it's heavily implied that och-kan smeared out this mural of him

with his own blood.

In fact, you can even do some basic forensics based on the splatter textures - such as the method and the time period it occured in.

Time wise?

It could have only occured after the fall of Ochkanatlan. After all, that mural is right in the centre of the city. If it was defaced before the fall, it would have been restored by those loyal to him. That and I doubt they had liquid cheddar back then.

However, it could also occur only before Waxaklahun Ubah Kan came to experiment on him further, which fully turned him into the wyvern we see during the game events - he would've been too large to even enter the building, let alone paint on one of it's inner walls.

Meaning, there was a period of time where he wandered around his empty, broken city with an equally broken body as it was progressing through the transformation, during which he stumbled upon the mural - and seeing it must have pushed him off another deep end.

How?

From the splatters on the bottom part of the mural, we can conclude he made a deep cut on his right arm.

Considering the way the blood splashed, it was most likely a swift slash. One splash in particular looks like it had been smeared with a fingertip.

The shape of this stain implies he first waited for blood to flow into his palm, before throwing it onto his image. The stain from middle to the lower right "branch" might be the first as the other branches lack streaks from dripping. Kinda like with paint, when you dip a brush into some and swish it around, the first slash is always the largest and wettest.

The stains on the floor suggest the same. Those to the right are the largest, while those to the left are the smallest - further implying a quick, swinging motion.

After that, the two largest stains suggest that for some time, he simply stood there, while blood dripped off his arm onto the floor and formed a puddle. Maybe completely out of it. Maybe taking in the sight of his ''artwork."

Since his blood posseses Pyro adjacent qualities, it might've started forming a scab by the time he turned around and walked away - which would explain the even spaced and shrinking size of the droplets.

And that's where the crime scene ends, as far as I'm concerned. If there's someone out there who's more knowledgeable about forensics, let me know if I missed something.

Conclusion?

Holy shit did this guy have issues.