#some of the asks broke in my inbox so i'm not able to post them

[02511213942]

these palestinian survivors have reached out to me for help in sharing their campaigns—please share and donate if you can!

Mahmoud Jihad (gofundme)

Majed family (gofundme)

Amal Alkfarna (gofundme / paypal)

Mysolin Bahadur (gofundme)

Mohammed Ibraheem (gofundme)

Etaf Al-Qataa (gofundme)

Ahmed Nasser (gofundme)

consider also donating to mutual aid / community action in gaza! operation olive branch has a spreadsheet here 🍉❤️

[danieyells]

hi! any chance you'd be able to post some of kaito's voicelines? I would love to see them <33

Our wanna-be knight and pathetic little best friend! He's just such a good boy lol. . .once again, another one who just wants to go back to a normal life, poor thing. Kaito's very much your vanilla, sweet boyfriend character with no frills attached, aside from his cowardice and his gambling habit of course. And his terrible aim. . . .

Copying all of them over isn't hard now that I've done it twice. Let's do it again for Kaito!

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"{PC}! Over here! Hiya!"

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Hey, new message. Better check it out, yeah? Or are you the type who's got like a ton of of unread inbox messages?"

. . .shut up /absolutely that type (and a sincere apology to literally everyone i know for that my adhd doesn't let me read and respond to their messages--)

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"God, please don't make me go on any more missions... It's not like me being there is any help to anyone anyway..."

"Oh yeah, have you been on WickHive yet? Someone leaked next month's cafeteria menu! Oh wait... I-I already told you that, didn't I?!"

"Damn it... I could've taken {PC} to lunch with that money! God, why am I such a moron?!"

"Ask me anything you want to know! I'm pretty savvy when it comes to Darkwick!"

honestly the fact that he's a second year who doesn't wanna be here and doesn't wanna be doing all of this but he still knows like everything about the school is also kinda sus to me. . .surely he'd divest himself from as much of darkwick as possible if he didn't care

"Urgh... Limited time only, you are not my friend... Huh? Oh, I'm on TikTok. I really want this, but I'm pretty broke this month..."

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"Ahem... Testing, testing... Morning! Heh, nailed it... Ack! How long've you been there, {PC}?!"

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Phew, should be safe here... EEEEEEEEEEK! Oh thank god, it's just a cat... I thought he found me..."

romeo oh romeo didn't you get into enough shit for this romeo? just make sure it's not Romeo cat. Because I'm sure it'll tell him somehow--

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Shit, it's Luca… Judging by the outfit he must be going to train. I better bail before he tries to rope me in too…"

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Eeeek?! Oh, it's just you... Geez, you almost gave me a heart attack!"

i know romeo is constantly on his ass, and I relate to the feeling of being scared the people you owe money will appear out of nowhere and get you, but. . .he's so jumpy lol

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Ugh, Romeo's texting me... Not gonna open that..."

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"So your father runs a company, huh? Who the hell leads with that?! This is why I hate talking to Frostheimers..."

so the wording here is wonky because he's quoting a Frostheimer, but there's no visual indication that he's quoting them. But lore drop! Kaito's father runs a company! But I thought he wasn't well off. . .? Maybe his parents are separated or his father doesn't spend any of their money on him. . .or the company isn't doing well. . .or gambling addiction runs in his family lol. . . .

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Argh, I want junk food! And I want to try all the new snack flavors!!"

my boy is so relateable--

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"All right, time to man up and bite the bullet... Nope, absolutely not, can't do it!"

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"How is Jin's skin so perfect? Fucking rich kids and their stupidly expensive fancy-ass toner!!!"

kaito really looking at jin like OH NO HE'S HOT

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"(yawn) Guess I'll go brush my teeth..."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"Hey {PC}, you seem different somehow today. Did you change something? Or am I just imagining things?!"

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Noooo why does Tohma want to see me...? No way it's about something good! Could you come with me, {PC}?!"

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Crap, I fell asleep in class so I don't know what our homework is... Help me, {PC}!"

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"(yawn) Man, my bed's like a freaking marshmallow. I can never get any good sleep on that thing..."

lol the Frostheim beds are too comfortable lolol I NEED A FIRMER BED TOO KAITO I GET IT.

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Huh? Oh, my pendant! You're always wearing it? Does that mean you've actually been paying attention to me?!"

once again the wording here is wonk because it makes it sound like the pc is always wearing Kaito's pendant. I'm pretty sure he's quoting the pc, who's commented that "you're always wearing it". It would read better as something like "You noticed I'm always wearing it?"

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Hey {PC}, how 'bout we grab a bite?! I've got tons to splurge in winn... er, earnings, so it's all on me! Get whatever you want!"

your gambling addiction is really and truly going to get you in trouble. disregard that i play a gacha game.

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"...Huh?! Man, nearly fell sleep without putting my phone on the charger... 5%, that would've sucked tomorrow..."

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Ha ha ha! Have you seen this yet?! It's all over TikTok. Ah man, it's killing me..."

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Whoa, when did it get so late?! Sorry {PC}, I didn't mean to keep you up... What? You're still good?"

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Morning! Hey, guess what? Luca's busy after class, so how about we hit up the diner? It's been ages!"

do you. . .do you really wanna go there. . .i mean the drinks seem to be fine but according to sho they can't make good food at all. . . .

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Sorry, I gotta stay after class today... (sniffle) This sucks, I really wanted to walk home with you..."

aw buddy. . .they could wait for you or come pick you up after your remedial lesson. . .!

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hey I'm really sorry but do you mind if we stop by the campus store after class? I'm almost out of granulated sugar."

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Hey, do you like stars? Oh, um, I was just wondering 'cause there's this place where you can see them really well, so I thought maybe you'd want to go some time..."

he's overcoming his fears and being honest with himself and how he speaks and just. . .asking honestly, no bravado, no act. do it scared, kaito. do it scared, do it awkward, do it sure you're going to fail. as long as you do it. proud of you!

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Sure is dark. Reminds me of the closet where we first met. Remember?"

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"I know I'm weak, and a coward. But I really do want to become your knight in shining armor, {PC}."

I love how comfortable and honest he starts to get as his affinity goes up. Still shy here and there, still scared, but he's not as jumpy and he starts treating you like a real friend. laughs with you about stuff, talks a little about hobbies and struggles. doesn't try and look cool for you. and then the honesty--i'm a weak coward, but i wanna be better for you. i wanna spend time with you. just!!! he grows!!! he realizes you like him for who he is and how he is, even if that's a weak coward--and that that's exactly what he wants! and it's okay for him to be that way because you won't be put off by it, even if it's something he'd like to grow from so he can be better for you--but he wants to be better for you as himself and--idk. i have feelings about characterization lol.

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"(yawn) Man, I wanna sleep, but I can't fail, so I gotta show up for class... Oh! I have Professor Nicolas next! Naptime."

does that mean you're good in anomalous medicine class or. . . .

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Grr! All those girls in the hall were looking at Luca! I'm so pissed off now I'm not even sleepy anymore!"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"It's finally warm out again, so I really want to go do something fun... Wish I could get an R&R permit..."

well maybe if you stopped sleeping in class and did good in class or went on a mission or something. . . . . .

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Mheheh... {PC}... You've got a petal in your hair... Zzz..."

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Ugh, it's too hot to go outside... But I can sense a coming-of-age event on the horizon... All right, here I come!"

obligatory beach event? 👀

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Can't believe Professor Hyde still wears that blindfold in summer. Pfft, I bet it's really sweaty under— Eeeek! S-Sir?!"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hey {PC}, are you free after this? I was thinking of inviting Luca to let off some fireworks! I want to show him how we do summer here in Japan."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I can't believe I get to spend the whole summer hanging out with you {PC}... (sniffle) Homework? Uh y-yeah, I finished it already..."

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Is it just me, or is it really cold today?! Guess I better get my coat out soon..."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Have you had the chestnut rice from the cafeteria yet? They made it way too fancy. It's supposed to be comfort food..."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Tohma's always reading something. Maybe I should too... All right, let's go with this! 10 Ways To Become Popular Overnight!"

well. . .it's something to read. . .never a bad idea to read.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Apparently the moon is the most beautiful in fall since the air gets clearer. Want to go take a look?"

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"It's freezing out there! It's freezing in here! Frostheim sucks!!"

this makes me wonder what the warmest dorm is on average. . .probably jabberwock as long as towa's in a good mood? (or maybe warm jabberwock winters mean towa's in a bad mood. . .?)

(between 11am and 4pm)

"The cold can go to hell, but I guess there's outfits you can only wear this time of year..."

you can wear whatever you want whenever you want if you're brave enough. but this is kaito and he's not very brave. and it's also not very smart to wear winterwear in the summer.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"I really want to go to Starbucks for the new winter drink! But I really really don't want to go on any missions!! Guess I'll never get to try it."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Gram... No... No more mandarins... ...Huh?! Oh, it was just a dream... I haven't had a mandarin for ages..."

'gram' in this case is 'grandma' in case you couldn't figure it out haha and the mandarin(mikan)'s used to represent health and longevity and a long prosperous bloodline or something like that for new years. So i assume his grandmother would feed him a lot of mandarins every winter lolol

His birthday: (December 11th)

"Why did Jin, Tohma, and Luca give me all this high-end stuff?! It's freaking me out!! Thank you!?!?"

EVEN JIN AND TOHMA GAVE HIM GIFTS. . .FROSTHEIM FAM IS REAL. . . .

Your birthday:

"Happy birthday, {PC}! We'll make this the best one— Hey, give those back! Those are the cue cards I made yesterday!!"

ksjfkhesbfjh he made himself cue cards to give you a birthday speech with as little stuttering as possible. . . .

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year! Let's make it a good one! S-So hey, if, er, if you'd like, c-could we, um... could we make our first shrine visit together?"

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"C'mon Kaito, deep breaths. Girls aren't into guys with no chill. So stay cool... Stay— Are those chocolates for me?! I'll take them to my grave!"

everyone loves an enthusiastic boy lol

White Day: (March 14th)

"Do you like the cookies I made? Come on, no way they're that good, heh heh... Heh heh heh... Here, take them all!!"

god i bet he makes really good sweets too. like i bet he puts so much love and good spirit into them lolol

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"I'd never lie to a girl. Ah! That's not a lie, I swear! {PC}? Are you listening?!"

BAD THING TO SAY ON APRIL FOOL'S ABORT MISSION

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Trick or treat! See those carved pumpkins? I was actually the one who made them. What do you think?"

given his DIY skills i bet he's actually really good at carving too. i bet they look really good!

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Hey, uh, {PC}, do you, uh... Do you have any plans for Christmas? I'm actually totally free!"

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Huh? {PC}? Am I being annoying?! I'm sorry! You're probably busy, right?!"

(13 affinity and above)

"{PC} seems kind of busy... I know! I'll find a video that'll help take her mind off things!"

this one replace the first one after you hit a certain affinity, so it's cute to see that he eventually decides 'i'm not being annoying, they're just busy. i wanna help them' after he gets closer to you. . . .

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"Ah...! Oh my god, you're back!! I'm so happy to see you!!!!  (sob) Please don't leave me again..."

he's so clingy. . .poor guy really missed you, considering you're one of the kindest and most normal people in Darkwick that he associates with. . . . also man 'please don't leave me again' with the whole loop theory stuff. . . .

I THINK I'VE SAID MOST OF MY THOUGHTS THROUGHOUT THIS BUT. He really is a sweetie. He really could have ended up a very plain and 'safe' character, but he's managed to be very charming and entertaining with his struggles and exaggerated behavior, while still being a simple and safe type. Really looking forward to seeing how he plays into the rest of the story, since it seems like his pendant may be kind of important. . . .

[rearranged-fanfic]

(Update 6/3)

Sit down a spell, weary traveler. Come and sit by my fire; bask in the warmth of the flame and rest your aching scrolling finger. You'll be sitting a while, for I have a tale to tell:

Okay, so I've had a Toshiba laptop for the better part of ten years. Maybe a little longer. That laptop has survived being struck by lightning, submerged in a bathtub, and literally having a whole bookcase topple down onto it. I thought it was immortal...

I was sadly mistaken.

About six months ago, I noticed that the typing was getting sluggish. I'd patter away at the keyboard and the letters would appear with a bit of lag. That's fine, since I use Dragon to talk-to-text for quite a bit of my writing. I really only use the keyboard for final assembly, editing, and doing quick rewrites. So, it really didn't bother me. Fastforward to April, which we will call The Great Depression. The time discrepancy between typing and having letters appear on screen became a whopping 40 seconds. Yes, I timed it.

But that was okay, because I could still use my Dragon headset.

Until I couldn't.

It would connect, but the words wouldn't appear on screen. I made sure that all of my programs were up-to-date, and that everything was working. The headset connected to my family's computers just fine. So that meant it was something wrong with mine.

Without being sure if it was the hardware or software at fault, I backed everything up to OneDrive and Google Docs.

I factory reset.

Twice. To no avail.

Over the next few days, my laptop stopped registering any keyboard input at all. It got to a point where I wasn't able to turn it on or off.

Taking it to an electronics store to get repaired didn't help, either. No luck. They said that it would be more cost effective to just buckle down and get a new one, since the age of the laptop meant that I would probably be constantly maintaining it.

My poor Toshiba died kicking and screaming, putting up a fight worthy of an epic ballad.

I saved up for a few weeks, got a new laptop, and went through the rigmarole of getting all of my programs back on it. My files are in order. My life is in shambles (but that's normal, LOL).

I DID do some story work without my computer, but... it's bad. Like, I'd die in shame if I posted anything that I thumbed in. So. Many. Spelling. Errors. How people write on their phone is beyond me. That's a talent I simply don't possess.

At this point, I'm thinking of renaming this story "HIATUS" lol. JK. But I'm seriously peeved that this happened after my last big break. Why couldn't the Depression and laptop breakdown coincide nicely? I guess that's too much to ask of the universe *Shakes fist at the sky*.

I'm creating a damn bingo card for every stupid thing that happens to me while I try to write. Because this is getting ridiculous. I broke my fingers, there was a total solar eclipse, I had a major-ish mental breakdown, and my computer bit the big one. With a free space, that's a bingo. Let's hope I don't get a blackout before the end of 2024.

I doubted the fanfiction curse. I really did. But it's apparently real. And this writer's curse has teeth, people. It bites hard.

I have my MerMay two-shot pretty well done (because I was typing it during The Great Depression), but the next chapter for REARRANGED is still rough. Crimson Chapter 3 is halfway done, but who knows how long that'll take.

The bottom line is that I'm alive and still working on the stories. The next update on this blog will be the posting of several chapters for a few different works. Fingers crossed.

Also, I'm very, very slowly answering the comments in my AO3 inbox. Some of them were pretty lengthy, so it might take a bit. Oof.

If there ever comes a time that I drop this fanfiction or am unable to continue for whatever reason, either I or my husband will be posting the entirety of my outline, as well as anything that's been pre-written for you guys to enjoy. That way there are no questions left unanswered or mysteries unsolved.

[brights-place]

CAPCUT GOTTA STOP THIS YALL IM TOO POOR FOR THIS

Nah Capcut better get ready cause I’m going to shove my foot up there butt and give em a god damn whoopin CAUSE WTF IS THIS?!

Ilove Capcut a lot, But almost everything is Pro now, Nothing on there is free anymore, l used one of the animations to make my watermark move so people couldn't steal my videos as easily but now that doesn't matter as that is now Pro, Almost every feature is Pro now, This needs to be changed. Capcut is turning into one of those Money Hungry apps.

Capcut is my home editing app, i've been using it for 3 years. However for some reason, this editing app is supposed to be "all in one FREE editing app" Im sorry but what the absolute godsmack are you FUCKING DOING?! My favourite effects that are literally essential to my edits are now pro. I thought it would've been ok so i made my edits without them. There are great pro effects that i can't use but i don't get why it's moving effects that were once free guess what NOT EVERYBODY HAS GOD DAMN MONEY It's not a free editing app anymore like holy twizzlers

My little mixed little butt was scrolling on tiktok when i saw a video about someone talking about capcuts new decision and the comments said stuff like "i'm switching to alight motion even though i don't know how it works" and "capcuts lost a lot of loyal editors" i agree with every single one of these comments. i don't know how to edit on the capcut anymore CAUSE NOW IM USING BLOODY BLURR AND I DONT GET THAT BLURPIN APP EITHER!

CAUSE YOY WILL NOT CATCH ME LACKIN TO BUY SOMETHING THAT IS $9 DOLALRS EACH MONTH! I used to be able to tolerate the pro effects until more and more of the once free options are now turning pro which i may ask, what is the No ads, didn't even show you pro effects and smooth editing

pro. It would have been better if some were pro but like star transitions sure put that on pro but like flashes smooth slow mo you dont have to put all those stuff. Yes it is still possible to make edits and look good but it gets 10x harder to make edits and choose what effects you want or something.

Literally everything I see when l'm scrolling through effects is just pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro pro LIKE EVERYWHERE AND IM SICK OF ITTTTTTT

I know this aint my usual post but I have to blabber on bout this somewhere cause now on my tiktok I cant post MY EDITS CAUSE NOW IM BACK ON A GRIND BUT I CANT BLOODY GIVE A GOD DAMN EDIT TO PEOPLE WHO ENJOY MY EDITS

This god damn actions form capcut have me TWEAKIN OUT LIKE A JUNKIE WHO’S ITCHIN FOR A NEXT HIT OF SOME SUGARY SWEETS NEAR THE BLOOD DUMP LIKE RAHHHHH I JUST WANNA EDIT IM TOO BROKE TO PAY FOR IT OMLLLLL

Anyways sorry I’m going to upload soon lovelies of more inbox requests of x readers and just more random stuff~!

[theneighborhoodwatch]

an update

apologies for any erratic or otherwise concerning behavior on my part that you may have noticed, neighbors! i won't get into the gritty details, but as it turns out, i May have been experiencing a nervous breakdown over these past few weeks. not because of welcome home, mind you. it was a number of things in my personal life, and i've been feeling much better since i've been finally able to address it - but it has made me Reevaluate a few things wrt how i've been going about things here, so i'll be going over those in a quick little numbered list under the cut:

i am no longer running or even in the discord server. one of the moderators, @/doctorcottonghost, offered to take it off my hands, and i accepted. ergo, i will no longer be able to answer any questions about whether or not invites or open.

in a similar vein, i've removed the "community areas" section on my links page. i do not think it was doing me any favors to be Constantly Aware of these large swathes of people. if you came from r/WelcomeHomeNeighbor, however, you are still free to peruse my observation document and send in questions/findings/etc. once my inbox opens back up (and do see if they need more mods over there!)

i do not plan on abandoning the observation document! i will still update it to the best of my ability as each update comes. i love archiving/cataloguing/etc., so it's a source of great joy in my life (and i really need to move the backup links section to its own page, anyway. it's been hard to find time for it since my computer broke.)

more of a reminder than an update, and i'm aware that i have no Actual control over people's actions, but i'll restate this in no uncertain terms for anyone who cares (at the risk of looking like a bit of a kiss-ass): please do keep clown's boundaries in mind - TL;DR: no public nsfw, no merch. both of these are subject to change in the future. that's it. do not exaggerate, do not try to find loopholes, and for the love of god, do not threaten people into following these boundaries or spread misinformation just to make it seem like you have a point. if you see someone continue to ignore these boundaries while they are still up - or even your own personal ones! - after being informed of them, be a goddamn adult, use the goddamn block button, and don't give them any more of your time or attention. (and probably report them, if we're talking about merch.)

i may need more time before i open my inbox back up. i haven't been in quite the right State of Mind for deep speculation, so i want to get through the more lighthearted stuff first before working my way up to those. once i've cleared everything out, i'll probably open my inbox back up - but anon may stay off for some time.

and i think that's everything! now i am going to have a nice big dinner and then i'll come back and Attempt to answer some asks. i've also taken down my more mopey posts from the past 2 days, so i don't clog this blog. have a nice evenin'.

[rhythmic-idealist]

Hi all. Some of you know my partner @crimeronan - maybe for her original fiction, her fanfiction, or her assorted queer/polyamorous/chronically ill life blogging.

If you do know—or know of—Kitkat, you might know them as a resource, or as a writer, or as that person who has been known to sit down and write six paragraphs of advice to the scared young person in their inbox. Perusing their blog I see people trading autoimmune stories, younger queer and polyamorous people asking questions about what it's like to be in your mid twenties and settled into those things, and people who found stories who resonated in ways stories don't always succeed at.

Or maybe not! That’s my platonic partner of four years. Happy to introduce u.

If you ARE aware of Kitkat, you might know that she recently FINALLY got an initial appointment with a rheumatology clinic. This after a big medical mystery that’s spanned over two years and taken them to the ER more times than anyone can feel good about.

The good news is that things are FINALLY moving forward. Kitkat has posted a lot more about that entire saga, if anyone is interested, but the main thing right now is that there are test results that are usable in a diagnosis, there will be a diagnosis that is usable in treatment, there are follow-up appointments in the very immediate future that will do a lot of good. It's all kind of astounding after the amount of time it took to get here.

The bad news is that their car broke down.

To say the money situation is already tight would be, though I’m sorry to put it like this, understated. Kitkat makes most of her money from freelance writing, and, first of all, is a fucking wizard at it in ways I don’t understand. But she recently lost her biggest consistent clients when— and she was told this outright— those clients switched to ChatGPT.

Perhaps more to the point— they're often too sick to work. They've pivoted to gig economy delivery jobs, but that is an enormous physical demand on ANYONE’s body, let alone when you’re severely sick.

So that’s where the financial situation is at right now.

I do slot into this, so to give you the story on that: I’m moving to Oregon to live with my partners next month, and will be contributing to the household income then (which is why I'm moving so soon). But I was originally planning to finish trade school first and move in January 2024, so everything’s very last-minute, and a little haywire. I now have at least one job interview lined up in town, but I won’t even be in Beaverton until mid-August, and this auto repair bill is due now.

Basically: because of this auto repair bill, they’re not going to be able to make rent. I expect we as a group will probably be okay once I’m in Oregon and more established/able to help out with the household income, but things aren’t there yet, and this isn't money we're going to be able to make back later.

Kitkat's been too sick to work consistently for so much too long, and that's why they need to turn to community support right now.

(I know Tumblr is famously not a "meet every goalpost before deserving help" website, and I think a lot of fundraisers with less explanation than this deserve support. I'm just a very wordy person. Thanks for bearing with me.)

Kitkat has limited mobility and is going to need to get to upcoming appointments, and speaking honestly, also just really needs access to a car to make things like groceries feasible. She’s not the only one in the apartment with limited mobility or chronic pain. Add to that the gig delivery jobs as a main source of income right now, and this is a necessary bill, just one that is sky-high relative to the income trying to tackle it.

So, you know, hello. I've brought a couple of fundraisers onto Tumblr in the past on other people’s behalf. This time I’ve gotta ask on behalf of my own found family.

The bill has come out to $717.80.

As of now, rent money has been used to pay it—the car has been repaired now, but that money was for rent and daily expenses. There is already financial assistance in play, particularly Medicaid. As it stands, because of this bill, they're not going to make rent.

To account for GoFundMe's fees of 2.9% + $0.30 per transaction, the goal is set to $750.

If you’re in any way able to give, the link is here: https://gofund.me/c0f9d7fe

Otherwise, a share goes a really long way.

Thank you a ton for reading this far. Times are hard all around, so please know: this post is an appeal to those among us who have disposable income and are looking to donate some of it.

Thank you.

$1,323/750

Date posted: July 27th, 2023 Updated: July 28th, 2023

[princelylove]

Prince, do you think Fugo would even be interested in being (sexually) intimate with their s/o? if so how do you think he would approach this? and would he have any kink? I hope you're doing well your highness, sending you lots of positive energy and love because you need it, i know what feeling like crap after going to the hospital feels like and really really hope you get well soon, this type of things are the real bullshit and you're so strong for being able to even write after a surgery you're like if not a god for staying so strong ����🫶🫶 i wish you a nice and quick recovery, lots of love.

Requests aren't open, baby. Send this again when they are. When I said to go for it, I meant if it was something iffy and you weren't sure, but this is literally just a request.

Any requests you've seen me answer recently have either been from the back of my inbox or from when I asked for words of encouragement, I'll likely open requests again once I clear out my inbox and finish what wips I've got going on already.

And thank you. Even divinity has an off day- or a few. Something something, on the seventh day, He rested. I was a little worried that my recent posts have been incoherent but I have yet to receive a "Prince!!! What ails you!!!!" message, so I think I'm fine.

I think today I'll be cleaning out my inbox as a few of them broke my rules, and I'm in the mood to discipline some of you.

[desertfangs]

"His mind was flooded with images of him and Daniel together: hiking through a jungle, walking through the streets of London, riding on a boat near Night Island, and then standing on a rooftop in New York. Always connected physically, always touching, always together." When I tell you I was not prepared for the way this one paragraph BROKE me. There were real tears. It's always such a special thing when authors describe the intensity of them sharing blood after Daniel's turning, with it being the only way they can get a glimpse into each other's minds. It's bittersweet and poignant and you captured it so beautifully. They really did everything together pls 😭😭😭 Loved that it's set post-QotD as well, it's rare to come across a fic set during that period!

And then there was this: "And in the end, Daniel hadn’t fought him for it. He would have gone if Armand had asked. Would have died in Armand’s arms, content to be with him while he slipped away", and I was fully sobbing lmao yes!!! Daniel would've absolutely died in Armand's arms that night if it had come down to it. Armand was never going to let him die, but Daniel wouldn't have held it against him if he had, and he would've died blissed out, just like he was ready to do so in Pompeii.

You truly get them so well, it's always a pleasure reading you xoxo DA ❤️

Oh my gosh, what a treat to have you in my inbox tonight, DA!! There is definitely too little fic set in the post-QotD period, which is wild to me because it's so full of possibilities! Anne could have written a whole book about the interactions and conversations and resolutions that must have happened there on Night Island. I love fic set in this time and it's really fun to write!

When I tell you I was not prepared for the way this one paragraph BROKE me. There were real tears. It's always such a special thing when authors describe the intensity of them sharing blood after Daniel's turning, with it being the only way they can get a glimpse into each other's minds. It's bittersweet and poignant and you captured it so beautifully.

I'm seriously flattered as heck that it evoked some real tears but also sorry I made you cry. I love them having that connection through the blood. They know each other so well and Daniel was never in Armand's head, so like.. they do actually know how to read each other in many ways and know how the other thinks. But I think Armand especially gets hung up on not being able to have that reassurance from the thoughts in Daniel's brain and Daniel doesn't realize how much he relied on that and so doesn't know to provide him with verbal reassurance, and yeah. It's a THING.

But also like... these images in particular, I think Daniel had some anxiety after he was turned. He was overwhelmed by the beauty and the noise and he's surrounded by other vampires who are mostly much older (except Jesse) and he knows Armand had never turned another, and so I think he has some lowkey trepidation that Armand might be disappointed or unhappy with how he turned out, but he's also just so full of love and awe that he gets to be with Armand forever, so the images are sort of a reassurance to both of them that it's what he wanted and what they both deserve. To be together forever. (Okay, now I'm tearing up.)

and I was fully sobbing lmao yes!!! Daniel would've absolutely died in Armand's arms that night if it had come down to it. Armand was never going to let him die, but Daniel wouldn't have held it against him if he had, and he would've died blissed out, just like he was ready to do so in Pompeii.

Yes! Right? Like I think sometimes Daniel is seen as being desperate and eager for immortality above everything and while he absolutely wanted it (and begged and pleaded for it, and fought with Armand about it), he also wants immortality with Armand. And when he's dying, he doesn't ask for it or beg for it. He doesn't want to die, but he's become kind of become resigned that Armand won't do it (or maybe he finally believes Armand simply cannot allow himself to do it). He's just relieved Armand is there with him and he can talk to him and be held by him and be with the man he loves. 😭

To me it's so important and integral to their story that in the end, he wasn't begging for the blood and that Armand gave it to him despite his vow and fear for what it might mean in the future because they loved each other that much.

Okay, well, it's super dusty in here.

Thank you so much for your message, DA!! Always makes my night to hear from you and I'm hoping you're doing well! 😘

[my-reality-my-rules]

𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒐𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒘

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𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞

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[this was actually written on a previous post, but I've decided to put it on the blog intro just in case.]

I've been inactive on tumblr for a bit too long lately, so, i suppose everyone deserves a proper explanation for it. I'll admit i haven't exactly been in the best headspace in the past year. ever since the last quarter of senior high, I've been declining with nearly everything i used to enjoy. now, with college happening, the pressure's increased. i haven't gotten around to fully focusing on shifting alone, which is a reason why i haven't been as active with tumblr as i had in 2021. there's other things in my CR i still need and want to focus on and set right. some people might be exasperated with me for being sporadic with updates. believe me, I'm irritated with myself as well. so, I'm putting this out here to say that i do plan on finishing all the drafts that i have piled up, eventually—but i have no guarantees as to when exactly i would be able to do them. [and if you've sent in a message that you've been waiting for a reply to since last year, i just want to say that i really am fucking sorry for not getting to it faster.] this was also just a reminder that no, this blog is not dead, just inconsistent. and no, I'm not putting it away any time soon, but it won't be a priority for me—not right now. that's it. stay safe, lovelies, and happy shifting ❤️❤️

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𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨

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hello there! this is a reality shifting blog—more focused on answering asks. feel free to send in anything you'd like; whether it's a story, a question, or a simple message.

this account is purely for asks and submissions. if you want to ask about and/or see information on my DR's, go to @i-left-my-room-tidy!

as the blog title and my username suggest you have your reality, you have your rules, and your world is ʏᴏᴜʀ bitch—no matter how bad things seem to be. i encourage you call to live the life you want—so long as you don't compromise others' wellbeing(s) in comfort of your own.

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𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨

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ɴᴀᴍᴇ: ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴍᴇ ʟᴇɪɢʜ ᴏʀ ᴇꜱᴛʜᴇʀ.

ᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛ ᴅʀ'ꜱ:

ʜᴀʀʀʏ ᴘᴏᴛᴛᴇʀ

ɴᴀʀᴜᴛᴏ

ꜱʜɪꜰᴛᴇᴅ: ʏᴇꜱ

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𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

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be specific in your request

please, i mean this. i hold no ill will against the messages i receive in my inbox, as i did mention that it's quite the free-for-all—whether it's a story, a question, or whatnot. all i ask is that you be clear about what you want. one of the main reasons i take such a long time with my posting intervals is because I've been so stuck at trying to figure out what some people need.

so, if it's advice that you're looking for, please remember to tell me what you want, so i know how to help you.

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comfort or solutions?

this is for those who have stories to share, or challenges they need aid with. do you need emotional support, a shoulder to lean on for the moment? or would you like an in-depth explanation for your situation? i can't always do both at the same time, so i need to know what you want to prioritise.

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please refrain from trauma dumping

I'll be honest; i really have no issue with those who want an outlet for their pain. if anything, if it's therapeutic for you and harmless to both yourself and those around you, i encourage it. but you have to understand that i am not your therapist, and it is not my job to offer professional advice. what i can give, i give with my best—just remember to take them all with a grain of salt.

[please have mercy 😭😭 I'm just a broke college student trying to learn philosophy; my brain's already wrecked enough as is during classes]

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𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬

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kindly remember that this is a safe space.

i do ɴᴏᴛ tolerate: ableism, racism, sexism, homophobia, pedophilia, and transphobia. if you find yourself falling under any of those categories, get the fuck off my page.

i don't care if you're anonymous or so and so—if i see you harassing people on my page or simply making a general mess, i will block you.

additionally, if you don't like the content i make, then scroll. it's not that hard. don't waste your breath, and don't waste my time.

anti-shifters DNI.

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trigger warnings!!

there might be moments in my answers where i mention taboo or unsavoury topics. I'm saying this now if you're planning to dive through the blog some time in the future and find mentions of sensitive matters. i can be very blunt, and i can't guarantee you'll always like what I'm posting. I'm saying it again now—you're free to unfollow or simply ignore me if you feel I've overstepped or done something wrong.

also, additional warning: frequent use of vulgar language ((:

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spam likes are fine!

I've reblogged a post somewhere down the line, mentioning that I'm comfortable with spam likes. interact all you want with the blog! so long as you follow the other reminders, you should be good to go.

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do be careful with your messages

ANYONE can interact with this blog. this is supposed to be a space for reality shifters; ranging between anyone in any demographic—and that includes a mix of adults, minors, and every other person. as such, be mindful when you send in a comment or an ask. it's a matter of welcoming people while still being respectful of their boundaries.

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𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐞

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sporadic, now that i think about it.

please remember this, especially if you've sent in an ask, a submission, or a private message. all these should usually be answered within a week or two. if it's been more than that, and i haven't replied to your message, it would mean either of two things: I'm still editing my response or I'm currently busy.

i follow eastern standard time, just in case anyone's wondering.

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𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬

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SIDEBLOGS:

ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴᴀʟ - @everyday-shenanigans

ɴᴀʀᴜᴛᴏ - @tobiramas-cumdump

ʜᴀʀʀʏ ᴘᴏᴛᴛᴇʀ - @regulus-black-supremacy

ᴇɴᴄᴀɴᴛᴏ - @bruno-madrigal-enthusiast

ᴀᴄᴇ ᴀᴛᴛᴏʀɴᴇʏ - @eat-my-objections

ᴍʏ ꜰᴀᴠᴏᴜʀɪᴛᴇ ʙᴀɴᴅꜱ - @to-all-these-fucking-dudes

[ꜱᴘᴏʀᴀᴅɪᴄ ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇꜱ ᴏɴ ᴀʟʟ]

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that which exists in the mind exists better in reality

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[chronicillschronicpills]

Hello! I saw an old post of yours abt sex and chronic pain and I guess I wanted to see if you or anyone else would have any advice for me!

I'm unfortunately having a bad flare day- and I think a large amount of it is because my partner and I did stuff yesterday. My partner is very sweet and kind about my condition, and always asks me during if the things we're doing are okay. The thing is, I always want to try even if it hurts because I love doing it and I miss being able to do it without such awful pain.

I can't find a position that doesn't make me hurt a lot afterward. Him on top of me makes my legs and hips hurt (legs in air), me on top of him makes my hips and knees hurt, from behind makes my hips and knees hurt, and forget any of my weight being on my hands. My disability has taken over every aspect of my life and I'm so frustrated. I just want to enjoy myself for once.

If you or anyone else has some advice on positions or pain relief I would really appreciate it!!! Thank you so much 💜💜💜

SEX AND CHRONIC ILLNESS;

Hi, there love,

I swear I have a defective Tumblr and I never get any noti's from my inbox, so I'm sorry if you sent this months ago!

I'm gonna try to give my best advice and hope that my followers will also help with advice.

First of all, pretty much any physical activity can throw me into a flare so I can understand that sex can definitely have a real impact on flares. You are most definitely not alone. I can also empathise with the frustration of your disability taking a lot from you and your life. I am so happy you're partner is supportive too and I hope that you guys are great at communicating with each other about sex which is probably the MOST important thing in this. I am going to give my advice under the assumption that you guys have great, healthy communication.

Sex positions that could be worth a try, it seems as if any stretching of the hips and pressure on the knees and hands are out of the questions so here are not only some of my all-time favourites, but also should be friendly for these issues:

Lazy doggy (lying face down on your stomach with your legs together): that way you don't need any weight bearing on knees or hands, no stretching of the hips and you basically just lay face down, I like this position as it also takes little energy and it's quite easy for you or your partner to stimulate your clitoris at the same time. you can also try this position with a pillow or wedge under your hips for a different angle and extra support on your hips

Spooning sex: I find this a great position, you just lay on your side, your good side that day, and sometimes putting a pillow between your knees can help with that.

I personally don't fuck with this position but standing up sex facing a wall is also considered to be pretty easy on these joints.

This one is slightly harder to explain (its a modified missionary variant) but if you are laying on your back and you put your legs straight or bent vertically and lay them on your partner's chest (kind of like an L position with the legs up), and then he would be either standing or on his knees (so your partner would be the P and u the L; PL). This means your hips aren't stretched outward, your knees and hands don't have pressure on them, your partner does not have their body weight on you and your partner can hold onto your legs for extra support. You can add a pillow under your hips for extra support. I really hope this makes sense, and if someone knows if this has an actual name, please help!

You could also try a seated position and you could face away from him to keep the hip angle easier

other general tips;

Take MAD advantage of pillows and wedges; this could help with him on top of you if you bulk up on either side of your hips so you don't have to strain or stretch as much.

Rethink your idea of sex: some days there may be no position that is comfortable. Sex is whatever feels good for you. You don't need penetration to have sex. Have your partner go down on you or stimulate you with their hands. If you really like the penetrative feeling, buy some toys and your partner can use them on you in any position that's comfy for you. Buy lots of sex toys, to be honest, that can be super fun and accessible. You can get full pleasure and give full pleasure without vagina/penis penetration.

Something my therapist has taught me is to pace myself and practice patience with MYSELF! I can tell you probably push yourself because you always want to still try even if it hurts. For example, I don't exercise, but one day I decided to go to the trampoline park and do gymnastics (i used to do gymnastics) and then was fucked for a week. Another example, I tried to do gymnastics at home and broke my foot. Just keep throwing myself into the deep end and end up making it worse; 1 step forward, 12 steps back. So pace yourself, and practice patience, and don't be too hard on yourself. Treat yourself with kindness.

I know sex is often spontaneous, but honestly stretching and warming up could help, and maybe even during foreplay, you could get a massage to warm up and connect with your partner. Also if you know you're going to have sex, you could take some painkillers or weed (if you're into it) beforehand.

I really really really hope that a) everything made sense and b) that it would actually help! Please send me a message if you feel comfortable if this helped at all.

Please leave your most accessible sex positions in the comments or reblog with advice!

[my-mt-heart]

Im going to try to lighten the mood and explain why i ship Caryl and what they mean to me.

I started to ship them in season 2 with Cherokee rose. I dont remember if this is a deleted scene or not, but when he brought her to the field to show her the flowers, the way he looked at her in this moment was clear as crystal. He was falling for her. Part of me is still convinced canon was supposed to happen in s2 or 3. But then i remember that she was supposed to be killed early (at least this is what i read a long time ago) so i dont know.. unless the plan was to have them canon and then her dead shortly after.

The bus scene, His reaction to her banishment, this f... reunion in No sanctuary, Consumed, them living naturally together in Alexandria at first (just like .... Richonne, may I say)... season 6.13 hug, 6.14 what did they do to you, season 7.10 emotional reunion... everything was screaming love. Love, love, love. IN love.

I never worried about Beth. She was freaking 17. I never worried about Toby although i still dont understand what was the point. I never actually worried about Morgan although some people did: it was just a "ennemies to besties" trope and relationship.

I did worry about Zeke and unfortunately i was right. I did worry about Connie and still do sometimes. Leah never made f..ing sense.

But i dont care about all that. Caryl is my OTP. There are other shows where i find myself able to multiship, but not in twd and certainly not with Caryl.

They dont function well without each other. They would do anything for each other. They would kill for each other (Richard??) Daryl lied for her ("everyone's all right"), they protect each other and are there for each other when needed, they are each other's priority, each other's person. He only had her safety and mental health in mind all season 10. He said he would destroy boats if she didnt stay. Yeah, he said "i shouldn't have asked you to stay!" later in find me but he was hurt (he even said something similar to Michonne in 10.03, basically he was hurt all season because he could not reach Carol).

Carol broke up with ezekiel and never looked back, despite what Zeke would want (i still hope this wont change in 11c). She litteraly broke down in tears thinking Daryl could hate her. She looked at him like he was the moon and the star in stradivarius during the camp eating scene. She was the first one in s2 to see through his bullshit and how big his heart actually was.

They might never be endgame, but they are canon in my heart.

This warmed my cold, dead heart, so thank you for taking the time to write it. I think you're right that it would have been very typical of the show to canonize them right before killing one of them off, and I'm glad we got to watch their relationship deepen and grow organically despite the obvious frustrations of a slow burn. Other "love interests" aside, Daryl and Carol have something special that I'd argue no other characters on the show or any other show have. They really are everything to each other. Hence, why it is so devastating to think of their bond going to waste, but let me stop there before it gets too angsty (another post for another day).

Again, we can continue to have "the conversations," but my inbox is always open for asks like this too. Just saying <3

[thehollowprince]

Just admit you are pissed that everyone - including the whole cast and your obsessed fav Posey - loves and prefers Stiles and Derek to your shitty fav Scott and fucking go lol

Does anyone else just stop and think about this person? This absolute clown, so desperate for any kind of validation that they go on anon and harass people with the same six "arguments" worded differently each time (which we're always able to disprove with actual canon)? For example, I got this ask, and then not ten minutes later, the "anon" must have thought to themselves "Hey, I can make that sound even more sad and clingy" and then gifted me with this.

That's practically word-for-word the same message, but with any added sentence on the end for some extra "oomph", I guess?

For the record, I don't care who anyone says is their favorite character. I freely admit that Scott McCall is an exception for me, because usually I can't stand the main characters of the shows I watch, which does make them hard to watch sometimes. That's why I enjoyed Teen Wolf so much, because here was a main character that didn't get on my nerves, and actually had realistic reactions to the horrible things happening to him. Here was a teenage boy who just wanted to play lacrosse and date the girl who liked him back, and instead he got dragged into a supernatural vendetta between werewolves and hunters. He was attacked by a man anywhere from six to ten years older than him (still an adult to his teenager) who broke into his house, threatened and manipulated him, and said what any sane person would: "Hell no!"

But true to what a great character Scott was, when said man, who had been nothing but antagonistic and even outright hostile to him, was dying because he got sloppy, Scott went out of his way - putting himself in danger! - to save him. Despite everything Derek had done to Scott, he still went out of his way to save him, despite the "smart one" asking him to let Derek die.

That's why I love Scott McCall. Despite everything thrown at him, he tried again and again to be the best version of himself. He didn't immediately resort to violence and murder, as so many others would have done in this same genre. Hell, in this same show!

So, yes, I love Scott Mccall. And ironically enough, no many how many times this anon floods my inbox, or how many people trying to replace Scott with Stiles hijack my posts, nothing any of them say is going to change that. The irony comes in when you consider they should understand how I feel. I (and others) point out the things that Derek or Stiles or Peter or whomever have done (things they claim to hate when they say Scott did them) and they say "well that's my favorite character!"

Good! Good for you! Enjoy your favorite character to your heart's content! That doesn't mean you have to try and smear the titular character for you to like them. Or, who knows, maybe it does. Maybe they can't like their "favorites" if someone else likes a different character. It's an interesting question, and if I were a psychologist I'm sure I'd have a field day with this. I enjoyed almost all of these characters. Yes, even Stiles and Derek, but not as much as I enjoyed Scott.

I don't care how many people prefer Stiles over Scott, the latter is still my favorite character. A lot of people I know are big fans of The Nazarene, doesn't mean I have to be as well. Actually, that's a bad analogy, because rather like Stiles, the canon version is better than the fanon.

Bottom line is that I love Scott McCall. I don't care if Tyler Posey himself called me to say that Stiles was his favorite character. That wouldn't change that Scott is mine. I don't know how to make that any easier to understand.

Anyway, have this gif of a smiling Scott.

[wandiwoo]

HI HELLO MY LOVELY, this is chihirolovebot and!!! i just wanted to jump on here and say thank u so so much for ur lovely post. oh my god i was tearing up when i read it /pos.

i could actually scream. u cannot imagine how much it means to me to have someone love something i wrote so much as to write a whole post about it and i am so thankful and grateful and honestly it’s readers like u who make it all worth it. i am so serious i feel lightheaded after reading all of that. it touched me so deeply to hear it inspired u to put ur own writing out there!! please always feel invited to drop a link to ur fics in my inbox if ur comfortable and i will gladly read them!!

i’m very happy i have rantaro some justice for u!! i can honestly say i wasn’t too attached to him before writing the fic so i literally pavloved myself into loving him then broke my own heart when i killed him off. but yeah definitely his role still remains strong throughout the story to the reader and i’m glad u appreciate that too!!

whew. thank u very much once again. that is seriously one of the sweetest messages i’ve ever received. i hope ur just having the absolute best day ever!!

- vee <33

AHHHH I'm so happy my post made you so happy :D I've been dying to ramble about your fic so I'm glad I was able to, even more so that you liked it! Once I get to posting some of my fics, I'll definitely send them to you, that's so nice of you!! And yeah I just adore all the little moments reader had with Rantaro during his time alive, the hug in the hallway really got me :') You did him super well! I couldn't be happier Thanks so much for the ask!! I hope you have a lovely day yourself <3

[k-s-morgan]

Yo, whoever just....SENT you UNSOLICITED ctitism??? They're either a youngling that hasn't learned the rules or fanfiction or they're just an asshole. That ask was worded very politely but that was such an assholish thing to do??? "Sadly, I will stop reading your story" DUDE WHO CARES. YOU DEADASS COULD'VE JUST QUIETLY STEPPED OUT WHEN THE STORY STARTED TURNING IN A DIRECTION THAT MADE YOU UNCOMFY WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING. There was literally NO NEED for them to come tell you all that and the only reason they did is because they're arrogant and think that only their opinion matters. They just...disregarded creative freedom completely. You handled it well but I just wanted to stop by and tell you that your characterization is actually very realistic and it is miles better than some other fics I've seen, which I will not name because I'm NOT AN ASSHOLE. Sorry to come ranting into your inbox but that ask got me fired up.

Another message:  horrible anon that wrote the rude condescending& pathetic ask ab harry being weak for not being able to stomach tom MURDERING people i have no words. made me mad! book harry would NOT be okay with murder! & fuck them for saying those mean things ab u that arnt true. this is UR story. u can do WHATEVER u want with it. nobody has any right to demand things from u & u dont have to take any criticism if u dont want it. the entitlement of some people🤬. also i dont know why they assume you should care their going to “stop reading” like okay bye 😌 still gonna have like 200,000 hits

Another message from @likorys-shimenawa:  I didn't want to be rude the anon, but... "You know something is wrong with your characterisation when more than one person gets hot and bothered about it" seriously broke me. They DO remember that people still think Snape was an incel out for hookup with Lily? When the only person to believe that was damn VOLDEMORT? Just cause many people say something doesn't make it true. Also - Harry's 'constant whimpering'? Did they miss how he spend months hung up on the Horcruxes, doing nothing, as well?

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I decided to group most of criticism-related asks together - I hope you don’t mind! Thank all of you for your support, it really means a lot to me. I’m not very bothered by negative comments/asks, but they sure aren’t pleasant to get.

The thing with stories is that everyone perceives them in a unique way. I saw the most ironic evidence of this with my Russian Snape-centered fic. I got two comments in sequence from two different people: one said my Snape is too nice; the second one said he is too evil. Everyone else felt he was canon-like. It was funny to see these comments posted right next to each other, and none of them was technically wrong: people have their view of the character, and it won’t always coincide with that of others.

It’s inevitable to lose readers along the way. The more relevant decisions characters make, the more defined the plot becomes, and some people start finding it not to their liking. That’s okay, but it’s important to remember that your experience is your own. Others might not share it.

That’s why I‘m not going to reply to asks similar to the one I got again. I already explained my view, there is nothing left for me to add. But to sum it up for the last time:

I think Harry’s ability to love can be a curse just as it can be a gift. I think he’s pretty strong, even though this love cripples him in many ways. He raised a better version of Tom on the global scale and a worse monster on the local one. He managed to control Tom’s destructiveness for years, and it broke his heart every time Tom did something similar to Voldemort. Beth was a shock because Harry’d believed he was succeeding in making Tom better just by loving him and explaining what’s right and what’s wrong. After that, he was constantly wary, yet the more Tom lived without hurting anyone, the more hopeful Harry became. Every setback shook him, but Tom never killed again - he learned how to stop, and Harry tried to focus on this. He had evidence of Tom being better, so his expectations worked accordingly. Learning about Charlus was a terrible blow because for one thing, Harry was already feeling terrible due to killing a person and watching his student die to protect him. For another, he realized that Tom killed a part of his family again. Of course he was stunned and horrified - this was his worst nightmare come true. And the ritual was the last drop in the overfilled bowl of his patience and hopes. Harry tried to watch out for others, he forgot to watch out for himself.

In my eyes, this is consistent with his behavior in canon + the changes he lived through in WHGTB. I’m happy that many readers share this view, and I’m sorry others don’t (though I get it), but I really don’t need to know that you want to stop reading. If the story no longer makes you feel happy or interested, just close it and look for another one. Fandom is supposed to be fun, and no writer can please everyone. Characterization is a complex thing - for the most part, it’s not universal. Things you disagree with will be something others agree with and vice versa. That’s fiction, and that’s why it’s such a fascinating concept.    

[writer-dreams]

I read your post "Enough" and I loved it so much! I was wondering if I could get another Slytherin Reader who is with Draco. She has anger issues and sometimes punches walls (hurting herself) because she blames herself harshly whenever she fails or messes up. Maybe, she's a death eater and she accidentally got Draco hurt (not killed) somehow? And he comforts her and tells her to stop blaming herself. Whatever you decide, I'm super excited to read. Thanks again❤️

Not Your Fault (Draco Malfoy x Reader)

Hello, thank you so much to @beautifulbows924 for requesting. This has been sitting in my inbox for so long, it’s about time I got to it! I hope it’s close to what you wanted and I also hope you enjoy! 

House: Slytherin

Blood Status: You choose

Warning: Mentions of torture, blood, self harm, and blaming oneself. Angsty.

Note: Angsty. The reader in this story is female / uses female pronouns.

Word Count: 3,123 words

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3rd Person POV

"Draco, you know what we're doing could get us killed, right?" Y/n stated to her blonde-haired boyfriend. 

The male nodded silently and urged her to continue moving. The two knew that if they were caught here, they would both be executed by the Dark Lord. Although the very idea of that terrified them, they pushed on. They had to, it was the right thing to do. The once lively corridors of Hogwarts were now dark and deathly silent. The only source of light was the soft blue light emitting from Y/n's wand.

Y/n and Draco hated their current situation. The both of them were Death Eaters, definitely not by choice. They were held at wand point and threatened that if they didn't join then one of them would die. Y/n blamed herself, cursing herself for not being stronger, for not being able to defend herself. She felt personally responsible for making the two of them what they despised most. She hated that now the two of them had the ugly tattoo of the Dark Lord on their arms permanently. This is why she sought to make things right.

Since last summer, she had been sneaking out of the Death Eater headquarters and coming to meet Potter. She would tell the boy of the upcoming attacks and brought the plans for the next week. She knew it was dangerous business, but as long as it could help Harry defeat Voldemort, she could care less. It wasn't until a few months later, that Draco caught her and joined along. He too knew the risks, but he just wanted for this war to be over, and spend the rest of his life with Y/n. They had promised to each other that if one of them had been compromised, that the other must keep silent and continue giving Harry information.

So here they were, creeping around the halls of Hogwarts, trying to get to the Room of Requirement, where Harry was surely waiting for them. The couple quickly scurried up the stairs to the seventh floor, constantly checking over their shoulders to see if they were being followed. They finally stopped walking when they reached the familiar tapestry. On the wall across from the banner, the door to the Room of Requirement appeared. As the door was opened, they spotted Harry, Ron and Hermione standing by a table, talking amongst themselves. The trio turned with hopeful faces when the door swung open as they noticed who entered the room. 

Y/n was always grateful for the golden trio. They were some of her closest friends and she could trust them with anything. When she had first told them about her relationship with Draco, they accepted it with a little time and threatened Draco that if he ever broke her heart, they would curse him into next year. They weren't angry when she told them that she had become a Death Eater. They understood what was at risk and knew that she would never support Voldemort. It was at times like this, she was glad she had such great friends.

So far, the Order of the Phoenix have been able to intercept and stop any attacks that the Dark Lord attempted. Voldemort was getting frustrated but he didn't yet suspect any traitors on his own side.

"Y/n, Malfoy." Harry greeted as he pulled her into a hug. "Were you careful that you weren't followed?"

"Yes, everyone else back there still believes that we're in the manor." Y/n nodded.

"Then we better get this over with quickly before they notice." Hermione stated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry studied the girl in front of him. Y/n's eyes definitely had heavier bags underneath, and she was noticeably smaller than he remembered. He knew that she was stressed and blamed herself, though nothing he said could convince her otherwise.

He remembered the first time she had told him of the plan, that she would act as a spy for the Order of the Phoenix from within the Death Eaters. At first, he disapproved of her plan. He didn't want another one of his best friends to die. However, he saw the desperation in her eyes, the desperation to do something right, to dig herself out of the hole of self-hatred she had placed herself in. He reluctantly agreed, giving Y/n what she felt was a sense of redemption, for being weak and powerless against the Death Eaters.

He watched her as she spilled out all the places that the Death Eaters planned to terrorize for the next week. Malfoy stood beside her, often adding some extra details that Y/n would forget. It seemed so long ago that the five of them were sitting at a table during Hogsmeade weekend. Ron would be playing wizard's chess with him, Hermione would be reading a book next to Ron, Y/n and Malfoy would also be seated and enjoying each other's company. Harry would kill just for another moment like that, where they didn't have to worry about a dark lord, where they weren't risking their lives everyday, where they were all together and enjoying life.

Of course, that wish wouldn't be granted until this war was over. He hated it. This war, everyone involved, they were fighting for him. His friends were willing to put their lives on the line for him, for the good side to win.

Y/n finished what she was saying, handing a couple of papers to Hermione. She bade them goodbye, saying to meet back here next week. Malfoy followed close behind, his hand moving closer to Y/n's until he had grabbed it and their fingers interlaced with each other. Harry narrowed his eyes at the sight, he still wasn't exactly the biggest fan of Malfoy, he still thought he was a prat. However, even if he hated to say it, he was grateful that Y/n had Malfoy with her. That she wasn't alone at the Death Eater headquarters. 

He admitted that at first, he wasn't exactly the most enthused to hear about her relationship. As he watched their love blossom, Harry noticed the way that Malfoy looked at Y/n. It was always filled with affection and adoration for her, proving to Harry that this relationship was true and it wasn't just Malfoy toying around with her. Harry could see that the two of them were willing to die for the other, which was something that he admired, how deep their affections ran for each other. Slowly, he began to accept Malfoy as some sort of close ally, though never as a friend. Maybe once upon a time, he would have wished for their relationship to end but now, he couldn't find someone better for Y/n.

Take care of her, Malfoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple of months had passed. Months of acting as spies for the Order of the Phoenix. It was starting to get harder and harder to sneak out, with Voldemort ordering for there to be more security around the manor. The Dark Lord feared that if the Order had been able to interrupt all of his plans so far, then they would eventually plan to ambush him at the mansion.

Y/n and Draco were laying down on his ridiculously massive bed, Y/n's head rested in Draco's lap as he gently stroked her h/c hair. Suddenly, Narcissa Malfoy opened the door and walked into the room, giving the two teens a grave look.

"What is it, Mother?" Draco asked, trying to mask his fear at his mother's expression.

"Come downstairs. The Dark Lord is hosting a meeting with all of his Death Eaters." 

Y/n and Draco exchanged worried looks but got up and followed Narcissa to the dining room. All the Death Eaters were seated around the large table, with two empty spots reserved for Y/n and Draco. Voldemort sat at the furthest end of the table, a terrifying smile on his face.

"Ah, there they are! My favorite young couple!" He grinned evilly.

The two did not reply and opted to silently sit down, trying to ignore the stares from everyone else. Under the table, Draco grasped Y/n's hand and gave her a small, comforting smile. The Dark Lord cleared his throat loudly and got up from his chair. 

"So, as all of you know, the Order of the Phoenix has been able to foil all of our plans for the past few months," Voldemort started as he began walking slowly around the table.

"They always appeared to be ready, as though they were expecting us. It has come to my attention that we have a possible traitor in my inner circle." He walked past Y/n and Draco slowly, resting a hand on both their shoulders for a fraction of a second before he continued walking.

"They would have to be someone close to me. Someone sitting right at this very table. Only my most trusted followers may be seated here. They would have heard about my plans and reported it to Potter. So, who is it?" 

Nobody moved or said anything. Any movement could lead to the Dark Lord believing you were the traitor. "Anyone? It's better to give yourself up now. No one else has to be hurt." 

Still, everyone was as still as a statue. Even Narcissa had a blank look on her face to stop any emotion. "If you won't come out, then I suppose I'll torture it out of you. Each and every one of you." Voldemort sneered.

He pointed a wand at Y/n. "L/n! How about you be the first to feel how painful a 'Crucio' curse can be." He scowled.

"No wait!" Draco shouted while standing up, drawing Voldemort's attention from Y/n. "It's me! I'm the traitor! Torture me, not her!"

"No, my Dark Lord! It is me! Please, I beg you, don't hurt Draco!" Y/n cried out, also getting out of her seat.

"Don't listen to her! She had nothing to do with it! She's just trying to protect me."

Voldemort smirked at the two. He fiddled with his wand with his long fingers. His face was twisted with cruel smile and he chuckled a little.

"Ah, young love. You two would truly sacrifice yourself for each other. It's pathetic. Love is weak, darling. You'll learn that nothing good comes out of it. Take this, for example. Love is forcing you to suffer through pain, and for what? Just so your partner can live? How utterly ridiculous." Voldemort laughed. "Now, Malfoy, you're claiming that you are the true traitor and she's lying to protecting you?"

Draco nodded, though Y/n was sobbing and squeezing his hand tightly, begging him to just let her take the blame.

"Very well. You shall be taken in and executed for your betrayal to me." The Dark Lord walked over to Y/n and held her chin tightly between his index finger and his thumb. "Look here, my dear. Look at what love does to you. You plan to die for a person that will most likely forget you in 30 years. What is the point? The answer is nothing. After your lover here is gone, I hope you'll change your mind about something as useless as love." 

He let go of her chin and adjusted his cloak. Two Death Eaters got up and casted a spell on Draco so he had heavy chains bound tightly against his wrists. Y/n couldn't move in fear of what the Dark Lord would do to her. She could hear Narcissa also crying out. Lucius stayed silent with a poker-face. Y/n couldn't even tell if he cared if his son was going to be executed.

"Wait, my Lord!" Narcissa shouted, her hand outstretched. Voldemort turned, seemingly amused at the pain in her voice. "My Lord, please. Lucius and I have been such loyal followers to you. I'm begging you to spare my son. Perhaps we could simply lock him away or prevent him from being able to hear us."

Voldemort seemed to consider this for a moment. He then nodded towards Narcissa, who's rigid posture relaxed slightly. "Very well. You are correct that the two of you have been some of my closest followers. It's a shame that your son couldn't do the same. The boy will be spared, however he will be tortured as punishment for what he's done. Then, he will never be able to attend any other meetings to prevent future plans from being spread."

He leaned closer to Draco, who had changed his expression to a blank one, similar to his father's. "When I'm done with you, you'll have wished that I had killed you instead."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n paced around in Draco's room. Her head was spinning and she felt sick. From somewhere deep in the manor, she could hear Draco's bloodcurdling screams. Her hands were balled up tightly into fists, digging her nails into her palm. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she faced the nearest wall and punched it with as much force as she could. The wall cracked but she could care less. This was her fault. She should have told Harry to leave some of the plans alone to evade suspicion. This was her idea. She was caught and failed but Draco ended up paying the price for it. She punched the wall again, ignoring the pain that shot up her arm. It was probably nothing compared to what Draco was going through.

Again and again, she relentlessly attacked the wall. Again and again, she pictured Draco's poor face and listened to his screams that would surely haunt her nightmares. Her tears streamed down her face and they showed no sign of stopping anytime soon. Why did Draco love her? He didn't deserve to suffer the consequences of her actions. She should be down there. She should be the one that Voldemort was torturing. It should be her that was screaming, not her lovely boyfriend. Her fists were bleeding but she brushed it aside and continued her assault on the wall, screaming like a banshee.

By the time she was done, there was a decent hole in the wall and her fists were dripping blood. Did she care? No, not when her boyfriend was still downstairs and suffering. Any pain she was going through right now, Draco was feeling it ten times stronger. She leaned her head against the wall, sinking down slowly to the floor. She took her head into her bloody, shaky hands. The salty tears began to drip into her cuts, causing them to sting. She felt pathetically weak, wanting nothing more than for the floor to swallow her whole. She wasn't sure when or how, but she soon felt her eyes grow heavy and darkness surround her as sleep overtook her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She woke up to the door opening. It was clear that the person was trying to be quiet, as they closed the door quietly behind them. Y/n was drowsy and wasn't sure what time it was. Outside, it was dark and moonlight spilled into the room through the open windows, barely lighting the room. How long did she spend on the floor? Her neck ached and her hands had dried blood all over them. She continued to watch the intruder, seeing them limping in her direction. At first, she didn't recognize them and her heart lurched thinking that it was a Death Eater coming to drag her downstairs. She tried to get up but as soon as she moved her head, the world spun wildly and she stumbled. Y/n looked back to the intruder but stopped as she saw the familiar blonde hair in the moonlight.

Immediately, she stopped and waited for Draco. He limped closer to her, his face contorting in pain with every step. He sat next to her on the floor slowly before rummaging through his pocket and pulling out a first-aid kit. He gently took her hands, seeing the blood, and taking out rolls of bandages from the kit.

"Draco..." Y/n tried to speak but Draco stopped her as he started to wrap her hands.

"I heard you screaming from downstairs. Clearly, I wasn't the only one who was tortured tonight." His face was the only thing she could see as the darkness hid the rest of his body. She could see his dark and tired eyes, his split lip and the various cuts that were scattered all over his skin. She immediately felt bad. Here was Draco, dressing her wounds before he could tend to his own, which were surely worse than hers.

"Draco, I'm fine. You're the one who needs medical help." She allowed him to finish wrapping her knuckles before she turned to him, with the kit between them. 

"I'm fine." Draco brushed her aside.

"That's hogwash."

He reluctantly allowed her to help him undress, revealing all the bruises that littered his body. There was a large gash on his chest in the shape of a V. Y/n gasped and her guilt only grew. It was her fault that he was like this. If she had just been more careful, if she hadn't let him help her, if she hadn't-

"Y/n." Draco's soft voice interrupted her racing thoughts. She looked up at him with regret in her eyes. 

"Don't you dare blame yourself for this. I know that face, I know you're thinking of all the things you could've done to avoid this. However, the truth is, nothing could have escaped this. I was tortured and I would do it again and again if it meant keeping you safe from that Dark Lord bastard." He pressed a kiss to her bandaged hands, "Don't hurt yourself over things you can't control. We both knew what we were getting into. I love you so much and I would never regret giving myself up for you."

He looked so sincere that Y/n felt tears running down her cheeks again. Draco wiped away her tears before kissing her lips softly. 

"I love you too." She whispered back before she pulled away and began bandaging his wounds. "Draco, how are we going to help Harry? Now Voldemort has locked us in this damned manor and there's no way to leave. I don't know any way to help him anymore."

"You've already done as much as you could. Trust me, you've more than redeemed yourself. Now, the rest is up to Potter." His warm eyes bore into hers as she finished wrapping, pulling her close to him and laying her head in his lap.

Y/n closed her eyes as Draco soothingly raked his fingers gently through her hair. He was right, she had done all that she could at this point. Now the two of them had to hope it was enough for Harry to defeat Voldemort.

**********************************************

Once again, I want to thank @beautifulbows924​ for requesting this, I actually enjoyed writing this one. I’m sorry if this was triggering or really horrible to read. I am in NO way romanticizing torture, self harm, or blaming oneself. If you are suffering from any of these, please seek help. My inbox is always open and you are always welcome to PM me if you need someone to talk to. Thank you for reading this story. If you have any requests, feel free to ask. Until next time.

-Jade

[aaronexplainsitall]

Hi Aaron! Daddy Issues Anon here! It's been a while! Just here with a quick life update: me and Chris are still going strong despite some stuck-in-small-flat arguments, I broke my leg back in January (slippery stairs; it sucked) but I'm back on my feet again now, and my sister cut off our parents over their treatment of me which still makes me tear up a bit; she's the best! Hope you're doing good too, mate! Cheers, DIA xx

DIA! I haven’t answered any anons in literally months, so me revisiting my inbox to chat to you in a testimony to how much I love hearing from you. 

I’m so glad to hear that you and Chris are still going so strong. Stuck-in-flat arguments are definitely to be expected right now, but being able to withstand them is a good sign about your relationship. And I bet it’ll be easier now that restrictions are loosening up! As always, I’m rooting so hard for you guys. I’m also so pleased to hear that you have such a wonderful, supportive sister, she sounds awesome. I’m sorry for both of you that this is what it came to, but I’m pleased that you’ve got her.  And sorry to hear about your leg! How long did they leave the cast on? 

I thought I’d use your ask (I hope you don’t mind) to post a bit of a life update myself since I’ve been so quiet the past few months. This isn’t just for you, but for the other people in my inbox who’ve asked how I’m doing. 

I’m actually great! Normally when I hide from my inbox it means my life is challenging, but it’s been really solid over the past few months. I had some difficult family news in the last week, which has rocked my sails a little (or whatever the expression is) but that aside, I’ve been doing really well. I’ve just got a new job at a much more exciting company, and the great thing is that the role is 4 days a week (but still pays as much as my current 5 day a week position) which will be amazing for uni - it gives me way more time to focus on uni work, which will be brilliant when I go back in September. Debbie (aka Tiffany for OG followers) and I are still watching an episode of Glee every night (we got to the end and immediately started again, I’ll be accepting no judgement, thank you) and I’m thinking about starting a podcast (who isn’t, right?) I also may be going on a date this week (I can’t figure out if the guy asked me on a date or as a friend so please respect my privacy during this difficult time). 

I will (I promise) get around to my inbox at some time soon. Love to you all, and special love to you DIA, as always x