just wrote like a billion paragraphs on how I write c!tommy’s mentol illnesses whoops
Autism: While chaotic, Tommy does best in structured environments to a degree, needing some sort of routine to function. He's easily attached to comfort items and requires them for his day-to-day life. He struggles with social skills, primarily indicated by his inability to tell when he should stop joking around- he’s learnt surprising emotional intelligence to get around that. In general, he struggles to function on his own despite being fairly intelligent and very vocal, and as such latches into others for support. He’s also got extreme sensory issues, to the point he can only wear clothes he sews himself.
ADHD: Tommy has extremely severe ADHD, to the point it’s debilitating in everyday life. He struggles to stick to one train of thought, and often completely forgets what he’s doing, leading to him often neglecting his own needs (though he also has… other reasons for that). He requires constant stimulation, and boredom is physically painful to him. He’s always moving around and doing something, and he struggles to wait even for a few minutes. His struggles to stay organised are another reason he tends to rely on being a follower to others.
OCD: Tommy struggles with moral scrupulousity of a very religious type, and deeply fears he is a sinner. He spends a lot of his free time in prayer to the Primes he loves, and obsessively honours them in every way he can. He gets intrusive thoughts about sin- especially those he was forced to commit- and he believes these thoughts are the reason his afterlife was so hellish, and has many compulsions he feels he needs to honour to punish himself for being so sinful.
BPD: Tommy has very wild changes in mood frequently, something he struggles to control and which leads to him making rash decisions. He quickly feels abandoned, and stews in the self loathing it causes. He’s desperate for any sort of affection and attention, even if it's warped and abusive. He tends to view people either as wonderful or as monsters, and struggles with grey areas.
Psychosis: Tommy struggles with hallucinations and delusions on a day to day basis. Generally, he mostly grapples with delusions- mostly assigning meaning to objects and people in a very literal sense- and delusions of persecution, and the hallucinations mostly affect him when he’s dealing with extreme stress. He struggles to verbalise and understand his thoughts, and often lashes out.
PTSD: Tommy is hyper vigilant due to trauma and struggles to feel relaxed. Even on a good day, he's always checking the walls and making sure he has a knife in reaching distance. The smallest thing can trigger a flashback, even things he once loved, and as such he's frequently withdrawn and sullen despite usually being outgoing and adventurous. He has severe insomnia, and often doesn’t sleep until his body physically cannot stand it anymore.
Depression: Tommy has severe suicidal ideation and frequently wishes he could die- only his knowledge of the nothingness after death and more importantly the fact he'll inevitably be revived keep him from ending his own life most days. He very frequently self harms, usually by simply letting the elements get to him. He also goes days at a time without eating, both to punish himself and as a method of self harm. He believes himself to be a burden on everyone he loves and that the world would be a better place if he never existed.
Anxiety: Tommy has frequent panic attacks, often so severe he's incoherent (these cause him deep embarrassment). He worries about every action he takes, and most of those he doesn’t. His most frequently worry is about his future- while this is influenced by being threatened with multiple horrific fates, this is something he’s always done. He’s also incredibly anxious his friends don’t love him anymore whenever they’re not as obsessively clingy as him- times like this tend to draw him back into self-destrucive behaviour.
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Steve Harrington needed hearing aids.
He wasn't born needing them. In fact, he was just about as healthy as a young man in his social class could be. But numerous head injuries eventually led to gradually worsening hearing loss, leading him to needing mostly useless hearing aids.
His damage was so severe he actually needed cochlear implants but his parents kicked him out of their house and off of their insurance plan when he got caught kissing his teammate back in high school. With his minimum wage job and splitting rent with his roommate Robin, he currently did not make enough money for such a luxury.
So he did the next best thing: he learned ASL.
It was free, other than his time invested, and Robin was the one to suggest it. After all, she was already fluent in five languages and had been in band for twelve years. If anyone could teach herself and a hard of hearing person to sign, it was Robin Buckley.
The only bad part was, they were the only two who seemed to know the damn language, leaving Steve to strain to hear or read lips lest he get (mostly) silently yelled at by some deranged customer.
So when he spotted a guy around his age with long, dark curly hair and perfectly round black glasses with side shields, he knew he had to act.
He knew what it was like to have people gloss over the fact that you exist, or even berate you for it; so he took a page out of Robin's book.
He learned braille.
Sure, technically Steve could still speak to the boy, but wouldn't it be more special if he could read what Steve wanted to say?
So he practiced and practiced until he was happy, bringing the card to work where his crush appeared to be a regular.
As Steve sees him walk in, he knows today's the day.
⠓⠊ ⠊ ⠁⠍ ⠎⠞⠑⠧⠑ ⠎⠕⠗⠗⠽ ⠊⠋ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠊⠎ ⠺⠑⠊⠗⠙ ⠃⠥⠞ ⠊ ⠚⠥⠎⠞ ⠺⠁⠝⠞⠑⠙ ⠞⠕ ⠎⠁⠽ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠗⠑⠁⠇⠇⠽ ⠉⠥⠞⠑ ⠁⠝⠙ ⠊ ⠺⠕⠥⠇⠙ ⠇⠊⠅⠑ ⠞⠕ ⠁⠎⠅ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠕⠥⠞ ⠕⠝ ⠁ ⠙⠁⠞⠑
Hi I am Steve sorry if this is weird but I just wanted to say you are really cute and I would like to ask you out on a date
Steve is giddy when he wanders over to the boy in dark clothes. He had on black jeans that are ripped at the knees, a Metallica band tee, a leather jacket, and a denim battle vest. He's perfect. He's hot.
Steve's footsteps must be louder than he expects because the object of his affection immediately turns in his direction.
"Hi," Steve greets as he presses the thick stock paper into his hands.
The boy angles his head down with a frown as he traces an index finger over the raised dots, before looking right at Steve behind those dark frames.
He takes them off, and Steve learns after so long that his eyes are brown.
"I'm sorry," his crush says, Steve recognizing those syllables easy enough, "But I can't read this. What is it you're trying to say?"
But now that response is too much, Steve can't keep up. All he knows is the card he worked so carefully punching little holes in with a special tool he had to buy was now being pushed back into his hands.
Steve doesn't try to answer, he just wants to get the hell away before his tears spill over, but a hand on his shoulder stops him in his tracks.
He tenses, squeezes his eyes shut and braces for impact, but when a familiar hit doesn't land on his face, he cautiously opens his teary eyes to find him staring right at Steve.
"Are you okay?" He asks, but Steve can't be quite sure if he's checking on him or asking if he's gay.
Steve's own frown appears on his face as he points to his ears.
"Can't hear too good."
His mouth drops open, rushing to spiel something Steve doesn't catch. He must realize this because he's taking Steve's card back from him now as he mimics writing something with raised eyebrows.
Steve nods his head, more confused that the guy he thought was blind seemed to be understanding him perfectly.
He fishes out the little pad of paper and pen he keeps with him for moments not quite like this, passing the two items over.
He scribbles for a moment before letting Steve read what he's written in big loopy letters.
Hi, I'm Eddie. Sorry, I can't read braille. What did you say?
Steve furrows his brows.
I thought you might know it. Aren't you blind?
Eddie shakes his head with a little smile.
The glasses? I have killer migraines. Never go anywhere without them.
Steve smacks himself in the face. He's been such a fool!
Eddie taps him to gain his attention once more before handing him the notepad and pen.
What did you say? I'd like to know :)
Steve worries his bottom lip.
Hi I'm Steve. Sorry if this is weird but I just wanted to say you're really cute and I would like to ask you out on a date
He's nervous as he hands it back, but Eddie's wide grin and eager nod does wonders to knock back those worries.
I thought you'd never ask, Steve.
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okay, so we know that godtiering heals you. tavros gets his legs back, vriska gets her eye and arm back etc etc. furthermore, it could be interpreted as healing perceived disadvantages. terezi wouldnt get her sight back if she were to godtier, because she doesnt see (pun not intended but here we go) her blindness as something that weakens her, quite the opposite - and when aranea heals her sight, she hates it and purposefully wears a blindfold. sburb would recognize her preference and honor it once she ascends.
we could go even further. once ascended, all your perceived weaknesses would be removed, and what weakness means varies wildly from person to person. harlenglishcrocegberts keep their glasses, as well as vriska - we can assume they never felt like their bad sight was any issue for them, so it was left out. for trans folks, and lets put myself under the microscope - if i were to godtier, sburb might throw my way a nice and quick top surgery, but leave the rest alone since i dont have any strong feelings about those.
it could even heal things like brain damage, chronic pain, migrains, cancer, anything that you feel like brings you down will be removed. alpha kids get their hangovers healed up. ascending basically builds your body up from the start, atom to atom, whole dna rewritten if you want it to be.
my question now: would it, or would it not remove karkats or kankris mutation, making them limebloods? everytime we see vantases who are god tier theyre ghosts, and their wings are not shown. it might be because theyre small (which is a popular headcanon) or they dont have any, be it because of their mutation or because its a feature of the bloodcast they originate from, or theyre simply hidden. either way we never see what the actual color of their wings is, which would indicate the color of their blood after ascention.
basically i have no idea. but its a fun thing to think about and ive been doing it for the past few days now
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