#some extremely high expectations

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Genuinely confused by the people who are confused that Venom: The Last Dance didn't end with Eddie and Venom making out/fucking nasty/screaming their love for each other from the roof tops.

Disclaimer: All of this is my opinion. Your feelings about the movie are valid. Just as mine are. We cool? Okay.

Guys. Venom sacrificed himself so that Eddie could live. Eddie was ready to die with him. Venom admitted to Eddie in the previous film that he loves him. Eddie is torn apart that Venom is gone. He literally says he needs Venom. Eddie goes to the Statue of Liberty for Venom. He makes a vow to never forget Venom.

I don't know what expectations some of you went into this movie with, but I don't view these films as queer bait. As a long time Venom and Symbrock fan, I left Venom: The Last Dance feeling very bittersweet but ultimately happy. The ending to me was like a love letter to a dearly beloved that is no longer around.

(Yes, the montage was cheesy. Yes, I loved it anyway. Sue me).

Maybe it's just my greysexual ass speaking, but I viewed this movie as a tragic love story. I didn't need to see Eddie and Venom making out to know they loved each other. To me, Venom sacrificing himself and Eddie whispering "Buddy?" only to be devastated when he realizes Venom is truly gone-that shit right there is love.

If you needed Sony to make their relationship even more explicitly obvious in an even more overt way so that the straights in the back can finally admit they see what we see, I'm sorry you didn't get that.

As for me, I'm content with what we got. I've read the comics, I know Symbrock is canon. I don't need an explicit scene of them fucking. And I don't need a straight person to validate what I already know.

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Las Vegas Grand Prix - Qualifiying - Fernando Alonso

[lurking-latinist]

⛵

[earl-grey-love]

Obscure Howie detail I noticed recently was that in S2 or 3, there's a scene where he pretends to be an asshole to cover for someone else. After hearing Kim go on an emotional explaination about why his decision* is wrong, Howie says "Duly noted." as a way to immediately shut it down. This whole play out is him imitating meanness (He revokes it not even a minute later).

Now skip to S6 when he tries to explain the shitty situation he's in to his wife and how he's trying to handle it, trying to reconnect with her emotionally at the same time, all she says in response is "Duly noted."

This has some interesting implications, does it not?

*It wasn't his decision, it was someone else's but he was taking the rap for it.

[foxgirlmoth]

So my life is feeling like its on an upward swing since this is my final semester for my associates, I'm starting a new job real soon and also possibly have a really nice remote job if I hear back from a few places I recently applied to.

And it always terrifies me when good stuff starts happening.

Change is really hard for me especially when it feels like its all at once. With better pay comes the opportunity to leave my parent's house finally and move in with a girl who has lovingly stolen my heart. With my school behind me I can find better jobs even!

But at the same time, its just. So scary for me. What if I can't keep up my part of rent. What if my chronic pain or ADHD or other disabilities put a strain on someone I love to my core, and I end up making things worse because I get extremely emotional and will scream (at myself mostly) and panic during these high stress times (especially if money is involved)

I've had a 'safety net' of family members who barely tolerate the fake me I present myself as, and I know my mental health is going to be so much better when I'm not around them, but at the same time I need so much help sometimes. Family just happens to help in terms of shelter and food. It also doesn't help that the one other time I moved out it ended so so poorly that I'm still working through that trauma.

Hurting the love of my life in any way fucking terrifies me. I want nothing but the best for her always always always. I just know I can't always be at my best, its impossible to be. I will break at some point and probably scream and cry about how things aren't going nearly to plan and I'm so weak so often I don't know if I can pull myself together fast enough to not hurt myself or her with my untrue words.

[anghraine]

I'm not watching ROP (Amazon boycott where I can, although AWS is half the internet so) so I'm only following distantly, but THANK YOU for you Aragorn and kingship post. It's one thing where even if I can buy into the high fantasy narrative of kingship by rights, I can never forget its real-life implications. I know the last book is literally named The Return of the King, but it's really worth questioning it and not forget that Gondor was actually fine without a king for generations.

Honestly, I can respect an Amazon media boycott when it's not blatantly about fandom shit more than anything else. So more power to you on that.

With regard to the post, thanks, and no problem! Tolkien walks a narrow and complicated path with Aragorn and kingship in LOTR, which is part of the reason it doesn't bother me more. But I can't deny that it does bother me, and all the more because Tolkien is so insistent on the Stewards' virtues and competence (very much including Denethor's) right up to the last ... two days? of their 969-year reign. In a way, that only makes the royalist reasoning more pronounced.

It took awhile for me to figure out why deposing a long-standing dynasty and instituting a different one for reasons of blood bothers me so much more than having dynastic rule in the first place. But yeah, "we're going to keep having basically autocratic rule because we always have" requires a very different sort of buy-in than actively changing a long-established government to the same sort of government but with a different guy in charge for legalistic primogeniture reasons.

Aragorn is only able to get away with this because of his personal qualities, heroism, popularity, etc, but he's only in the running at all because of firmly royalist (and patriarchal) rationales, and you have to accept those at some level for the mystique to work. And there are reasons that some of us can't do it!

[enniewritesathing]

[theclosetedskeleton]

UHHH why the fuck is my head starting to twitch anyways i should probably work on that science assignment due soon like in an hour

[wishbonemotel]

the sandman diner episode? yeah.

[borbealis]

lack of communication and miscommunication kill me bro. especially when there's care involved, especially mutual care. COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PERSON GODDAMMIT

[celestialmancer]

⛈️ //

[celepeace]

Throwback to the time I got so out of my mind stoned that when my dog yawned I had a moment of dawning horror and incomprehension as I watched a bizarre sort of flesh-worm slowly creep out of her open mouth and I could physically feel my brain's cogs turning trying to recognize what I was looking at

Until I remembered dogs have tongues

[dollaches]

— stay with me, sleep with me

♡ perv!ellie x fem! reader

synopsis: ellie’s desperate moans pull you from your sleep and after fully waking up, you realize just how badly she needs to touch you.

a/n: wrote while extremely high i am so sorry

warnings: DONT LIKE DONT READ ! — established relationship, a bit of somno, dry humping (a blessing), cursing, ellie is a complete perv, dom ellie, sub r!, degradation (both receiving), impact play, ellie’s strap is referred to as a cock, a vile amount of spit mentioned, super sloppy sex sorry, cunnilingus (r! receiving), fingering (r! receiving), ejaculating strap, breeding kink, consensual pics after sex, begging, kinda perv r! tbh, sex, deep penetration (?), porn with no absolutely no plot and not proofread

wc: 4k

It was hard to register anything at all as your eyes fluttered open, your mind muddled and confused as you are yanked out of your soothing sleep. 

The room is still dark, only being illuminated by the small night light on the bedside as the clock reads 2:42 am, and yet you have no time to notice it. All you are focused on is the fact that you could hear Ellie whimpering, the warm feeling that spread throughout your lower body being due to her humping your ass like you were nothing but a toy. 

“Els” you whine quietly, your voice still groggy with sleepiness. Despite the suddenness of your words, Ellie doesn’t falter in the slightest. Instead, she grips your hips tighter, making quick work of flipping you onto your tummy so she can straddle you easily. Pinning you down takes little to no effort even as you squirm a bit, as Ellie’s strength is best shown when she is hyper focused on pleasure. 

“Shut up, just shut up” she mutters, now grinding against you desperately, the way her clit is being nudged through the fabric of her boxers is enough to make her act carelessly. “You were teasing me on purpose… wearing nothing but those pathetic little panties to bed. And you expect me to be able to sleep?” she scoffs, her words breathless and frustrated. 

All you can do is whine as your face is shoved into the pillow below you, your mind desperately trying to catch up to the situation. It finally dawns on you that she is desperate to get off, so desperate that she was using your sleeping body. 

Throughout your relationship, you have learned that Ellie has a tendency to be grabby and a bit pervy to put it nicely. Whether you’re at home or in public, she’s always groping your tits, smacking your ass, or cupping your cunt right before she gives it a little smack. Every little thing you did made her horny, so much so that she couldn’t sleep properly unless she fucked you at least twice a day. 

But to know that she could get off just from seeing your body while you sleep is enough to make you moan weakly as she grinds against you. “Didn’t mean to tease, promise” you grunt against the pillows, desperate to defend yourself and yet she scoffs at you reply. 

“I’m not telling you to give me half assed excuses, I’m telling you to just shut the fuck up, for the love of God” she seethes, her words barely coherent as she rocks against you, her mind blinded by pleasure. Her words make you shut your mouth instantly, able to tell that there was no way to talk yourself out of this situation. 

“Thaaaaaaat’s it” she praises upon your silence, begrudgingly slowing down her hips since she could finally do what she had been so desperate to do. She takes in a few shaky breaths, keeping you pinned down with her weight but leaning back a bit so she can take in more of your body. 

Seeing you clad in only cozy white cotton underwear has Ellie more desperate than ever. Her fingers trace your puffy cunt through the thin material, testing your patience with her movements. “Stop fucking teasing” you groan, pressing your hips back against her touch in search of some sort of relief. 

For a moment you think she isn’t going to bother responding to you, that is until you feel a hard smack against your ass. It’s harsh enough to make you yelp in surprise, your skin tingling with pain from the impact. 

“Watch your goddamn mouth when you’re talking to me” she seethes. “Was gonna be all sweet on you but stupid girls like you don’t deserve that kind of treatment” she mutters, the anger in her voice making your whole body feel as if it’s on fire. 

Before you can beg for her to go easy on you, she is pulling up your hips till your ass is raised in the air and your knees are spread. You use your arms to help push yourself up, now on all fours as you look back at her. 

Ellie is wearing just a black tanktop with her boxers, and yet she manages to look absolutely perfect. The way her chest rises and falls at such a quick pace shows her need, her complete desperation to have you all to herself. Her eyes flicker to meet yours, having a terrifying edge to them as she analyzes your features. 

“Aw, did I scare you, baby?” she coos with false pity. Even if you know she is mocking you, you still nod your head, albeit in an unsure manner.  She gives a little ‘awh’ before lowering her hand so she can toy with the waistband of your panties. 

With the material pulled snug against your cunt, she can just barely make out the wet patch that has formed since it’s still dim in the bedroom. She lets the material snap back in place against your skin, a pleased smile on her lips when you flinch and let out a hiss of pain. 

“Just doing what you want me to do, sweet girl. Look at how soaked you are just from being hit and used” she hums, landing another rough smack on your ass that makes it hard to keep yourself upright. “S’ fucking filthy, you know that?” she questions, not caring when you don’t offer her a verbal reply. 

Instead you let out a soft moan as the pain from the hit settles in which causes pleasure to shoot down right towards your pussy. It’s too much to bear, the anticipation of her touch leaving you breathless. 

She smooths her hands over your aching bottom to soothe the pain only to quickly yank your panties down to your bent knees. Cool air hits your cunt and makes you let out a puff of breath, feeling so exposed and at Ellie’s mercy. 

“Perfect little cunt” she praises, running her thumb between your folds just so she can gather the slick that is rather prominent. “Thank you, Els” you breathe out, needing to get back on her good side or else it would be unlikely she’d actually let you come. 

Your sentiment is not wasted on her, as her touch becomes more gentle, leaning down to let spit drip down from her lips so it can slide down your cunt slowly. It’s so warm that you can’t help but shiver, letting out a borderline pornographic moan as she uses her lubed up finger to gently press against your entrance. 

But just as you think it’s about to begin, she pulls her finger back. “You gonna let me taste you or are you gonna be difficult again?” she questions, sucking your juices off her fingers before crossing her arms over her chest as she leans back. 

You immediately turn to look back at her, your eyes pleading. “I’ll be good, baby. Wanna feel your tongue, please. Want your fingers too, fuck” you rush out, your words slurring together just a bit. 

All you can think of is her touch, her body, how low her voice is when she speaks to you like you’re just some stupid girl. Your mind is barely functional at this point, not minding as she yanks your body down until you’re at the very edge of the bed. She settled onto her knees, dreaming of the bruises that will likely appear from doing so. 

She spreads open your cunt with her fingers, wanting to take in the sight of her spit that had managed to mix with your own arousal, leaving you a dripping mess. “Atta girl” she praises despite the fact that you are doing nothing but allowing her to see you completely. 

The mixture of being praised along with the feeling of her warm breath fanning against your cunt as she inches closer. “Wanna make this pretty pussy feel so good; gonna make you mine” she mutters, not even thinking anymore. She is akin to a shark that has just smelt blood, her eyes narrowing as they focus on your cunt that she’s about to eat out without hesitation. 

Her words wash over you and take away any tension left in your body. She presses an open mouthed kiss right on your clit, always loving to surprise you with a shock of pleasure. Within a second of the kiss, she is flicking her tongue against your cunt like a starved woman. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” you huff, your eyes squeezing shut at the feeling of her tongue working against you. The sounds she makes are absolutely obscene, moaning against you as she keeps her face completely buried in your pussy. She doesn’t make you work for anything at all, already licking upwards towards your aching clit. 

She closes her lips around the soft bud, sucking on it so perfectly that for a moment you swear you can see stars. Your moans mix with hers in the filthiest way, as you’re both overcome with pleasure. “Jesus, m’ sensitive, fuckin’ aches, Els” you murmur, unsure if you’re trying to get her to ease up on your clit or suck on it just a bit harder. 

Ellie chooses to ease up, giving a final lick to your clit before she shoves two fingers into her own mouth, getting them slick with saliva so you won’t feel any sort of discomfort from them. “Love those noises you’re making, baby. Could fucking come from listening to you moan my name” she says with a breathy chuckle, finding herself entertaining as per usual. 

You can’t help the lazy smile that spreads on your lips from all the attention she is giving you, an exasperated groan as you feel her pressing both fingers against your opening, trying to ease them in before you have time to protest. 

She usually does one finger on its own but she is terribly impatient and some sick part of her loves feeling how tight you are when you’re not prepared for such a stretch. You practically mutter every curse in the book as she pushes them in, feeling slightly embarrassed from how easily they slide in due to your slickness and how relaxed you are from her touch. 

“Jesus Christ, your cunt is sucking me in, so fucking tight” she says with a drawn out groan, the way you’re squeezing against her fingers making her head spin with delight. “So big” you moan out, as Ellie’s fingers were the perfect length, reaching spots you could never get to by your own hand. 

The stretch is enough to have you writhing, your arms shaking from weakness as she pumps her fingers in and out of your sloppy cunt. “Taking me so well, angel” she grunts, curling her fingers in a way that has you pleading with her to slow down a bit. But she is too focused on bringing you to the edge, needing to make you feel good no matter what. 

“You gonna come on my fingers, hm?” she questions with a teasing edge to your voice, never ceasing to be amazed at how easy it is to make you fall apart completely. You nod, your arms aching as your muscles burn just to keep yourself in the perfect position. 

“Feels uhm— holy shit, feels like heaven” you gasp out, the realization that she has her fingers knuckle deep inside of you only making your cunt clench more. “Yeah, baby? Bet that pretty little head of yours is all empty now. All you can think about is how fucking deep my fingers are in your little cunt” she says, knowing that her words are completely true. 

You only nod as Ellie focuses on how perfect your tight heat feels as you desperately bounce back against her fingers. “Jus’ a little more” you whimper, and Ellie is more than ready to give you what you need to push you over the edge. 

She flicks her tongue against your clit, alternating between that and sucking on it sloppily, her spit dripping down onto the floor at this point. Neither of you care, as you are far too busy crying out her name. Your arms give out and you press your cheek against the soft mattress, your hips still in the air as she works. 

“Can I come? Pleasepleaseplease, can I come?” you ask, knowing better than to do so without her permission. Your well behaved demeanor never fails to please Ellie, her eyes practically rolling back from how obedient you are. 

“Course’ you can, sweet girl. Just let go” she mutters against your over sensitive cunt before lapping at your clit once more. Her fingers slide in and out with ease and she can tell you’re about to let go completely. 

With her permission, you’re coming, the taste of your arousal filling her senses as your clit pulses against her tongue. You can’t even thank her for giving you permission, practically braindead as your orgasm crashes over you. Your own drool seeps into the blanket beneath you, a fucked out grin on your lips as Ellie finally pulls her fingers out of your pussy. 

Your body feels completely relaxed, your hips finally dropping down so your aching muscles can relax. You take a moment, a little sigh of happiness leaving your lips as you listen to Ellie suck your juices off her fingers as if it were the best thing she has ever tasted. 

“C’mon, baby, I wanna see that pretty face” she coos, helping your weak body so that you can turn onto your back, your chest still heaving as she lays down beside you, not giving you any warning as she shoves her fingers into your mouth so you can taste yourself as well. 

You take it just for her, letting her practically fuck her fingers into your mouth just for her pleasure. She eases her fingers out when she has had her fun, pressing her fingers together before spreading them once more just so she can she the strings of spit that connect them together. “You made such a mess” she observes, a grin on her face as she glances at you. 

All you can do is grin at her, knowing how much Ellie gets off on helping you feel good. She leans close enough to press her lips against your own, the kiss so intimate yet needy. Her tongue slides against yours, letting it trail against your teeth whenever she pleases. A whine is pulled from your throat when she grips your cheeks with her strong hand, forcing you to stick your tongue out. She offers you no explanation before leaning back in to messily suck on your tongue, her moans making your cunt ache for more attention. 

She only pulls away to catch her breath, already missing the warmth your mouth provides. “Gettin’ so much better at kissing, baby. Guess I’m a good teacher, huh?” she quips with a grin. You only nod, your lips still slick with saliva as you give her your prettiest smile. “The best teacher ever” you hum. 

Ellie pauses for a moment, noticing the way you’re already pressing your thighs together, a sign that you are getting yourself worked up. “Aw, poor thing. So pathetic and needy for my attention” states mockingly, although she couldn’t be more pleased that she will be able to give you more. 

“Just let me grab somethin’ to help make you feel good” she instructs, pushing herself up from the bed and parting from you so she can find what she knows will help you get all that extra energy out. For the first few minutes you simply stare up at the ceiling, eventually growing bored and quickly propping yourself up with your elbows. 

You were met with the sight of Ellie tightening the harness against her body, turning just enough so that you can see which strap it is. it doesn’t take long for you to realize, your tummy aching in the best way as you stare. 

It’s the fucking ejaculating strap, the toy only being used when Ellie wants to make a real mess all over the bed and maybe because she needs to watch her come drip out of your poor used cunt. 

Its an intimidating sight, the way Ellie looks down at you, her hand at the base of the silicone cock. “Gonna knock you up tonight, I swear” she mumbles with a soft smile that sends shivers down your spine. 

Even if you know it’s not possible, it doesn’t stop you from feeling completely vulnerable to her. It’s undeniably dirty, the idea of her coming inside you causes you to instinctively part your thighs for her, gently rubbing your clit and smiling weakly as you make tight circles with your finger. 

“Need you to, Els. Wanna feel when you finish inside” you plead, trying to entice her. Without even truly having to try, she is giving in to you. “You’ve got a dirty fucking mouth” she huffs, quickly striding towards the bed and pushing your legs up a bit higher. Her tone of voice leaves you feeling helpless to her in that moment. 

She uses one hand to slap her strap against your needy clit, her mind filled with everything she wanted to do to you in that moment. The way you yelp and flinch is more than enough to please her; raising her hand to spit into her own hand, stroking her strap as if she could truly feel it. Ellie tilted her head back, her fist pumping in the most perfect manner, as it forced the material to nudge up against her clit. 

“Gonna fuck you till you’re a mess, all for me” she breathes out, slowing her fist down now that her cock was thoroughly coated with spit, she teasingly pushed it against your entrace, letting it catch in the slightest before continuing on. 

“Need you to fill me up, please” you beg, looking up as ellie towers over you from her higher position. Your pathetic plea makes her genuinely smile and she is more than eager to finally give in to your request. 

“How can I say no when you ask so nicely?” she teases, getting you distracted so she could slowly push in. Your brows knit together once you feel the stretch, the thickness of it making you thankful Ellie had soaked your pussy with her spit. 

“Ellie, fuck” you shudder, not complaining when she decides to push your legs further apart so she can push all the way in. Every time you think it’s over, another inch slips in and leaves you barely able to take in a few breaths of air. 

When she finally manages to get all the way in, she lets out a curse at the way she can literally feel her hips against your own. Your hands clench at your sides, the feeling of being so full making it impossible to think for yourself. 

She pulls out all the way to the tip before pushing her hips against yours to fuck you as deeply as possible. Her pace only quickens when your moans are only full of bliss. “You hear that, sweetheart? Your cunt s’ fucking soaking” she groans between thrusts, her hands lowering to slap your tits and grope them carelessly. 

Her thrusts are forceful enough to really be able to make Ellie moan weakly, the material bumping against her making her grip on your thighs tighten. She looks you in the eyes as she’s buried in your cunt, letting silence fall between the two of you so you could her the dirty sound of your wet cunt slapping against the base of her dick. It left you more flushed than you already were, your lips parting in an attempt to say anything at all. 

“You’re such a nasty perv” you moan out between each thrust. “Getting off just at the idea of filling me up with your cum” you tease, knowing the effects it would have. 

Being called a perv for her behavior makes Ellie whimper pathetically, loving when you tell her how disgusting her behavior is. “Fuck, say it again babe. Gonna make me fucking come if you keep talking like that” she states, barely getting in a few breaths as she speaks. 

Her words only spur you on, as you have the need to make her feel good as well. “So wrong of you to use me while I’m sleeping, isn’t it?” you huff, feigning disgust. “Are you so desperate that you have to hump me like I’m just a toy? Because that’s disgusting” you continoue on. 

All the while, Ellie’s moans grow louder as her physical and emotional pleasure build intensely. “And now look at you, trying to breed me like you own me” you scoff, doing your best to play the part for your girlfriend. 

It seems to please her, as she’s fucking into you at an unbelievable pace. The strokes being so deep and swift that you’re back to being unable to speak, reduced to something weak when she was taking you like this. 

“I do own you, stupid. I’ll use your body however the fuck I want and I know you won’t complain because you get off on it just as much as I do” she groans, making you feel like you don’t even have any purpose other than to be Ellie’s girlfriend. 

“You own me, I’m sorry, you own me” you gasp as pounds against a soft spot within you that causes you to lock your legs around her, refusing to let her pull out. “And I am gonna breed your filthy cunt, s’ all mine anyways” she states weakly as you’re both about to fall over the edge. Your tummy feels tight, clenching around her strap as you try to prepare to take her load. 

“Holy fuck I’m—“ she begins, her hand tightening around the base of her strap so she can release the surprisingly warm cum into your pussy. Both of you moan over one another, hips trembling and shaking as Ellie’s cock remains deep inside you, cum dripping from the corners of your cunt. 

You’re flooded, feeling completely full and used. Each tremor makes you mewl, as her cock manages to move inside you. Before you can protest, she’s pressing her body closer to yours, pinning your hips down with her own. 

Slow and steadily she fucks you back open, each thrust intimate and loving. “Gotta make sure it takes, angel” she mutters to soothe your shaking body, completely overstimulated by pleasure. She fucks her cum back into your sore cunt, not wanting any of it to go to waste. Both of you were completely delusional, as you could swear in this moment you were truly going to have her babies. 

After a few soft thrusts, she presses a small and gentle kiss to your lips as she eases her cock out of you. The loss of it leaves you groaning, already missing the feeling. You clench as best you can just to keep the cum inside to please Ellie. 

“Don’t wanna forget this” she states in a rushed manner, scrambling up to grab her phone off her nightstand. She quickly places the camera above you, giving a little “say cheese!” and awaiting your bright smile before she snaps the perfect pictures of you. You’re completely fucked out and a total mess, her cum even still dripping out during the photo. 

You adore when she takes pictures of you, as it’s something special that is only for the two of you. She sets her phone down on the bed beside you, quickly taking off her harness and placing the messy strap onto the dresser so she can deal with it when she wakes back up. 

And just like that, she’s back in bed with you, peppering your face with kisses. “Took me so well, baby. Looked so perfect for me” she praises, her touch feather light as she brushes her fingertips against your soft tummy. “Bet you wanna get cleaned up and back to bed, hm?” she questions, knowing you must be exhausted. 

And you absolutely are, your energy all used up. You nod weakly at her words, pressing your body against hers for more comfort. “Just a quick shower, okay?” you mutter, simply wanting to go back to sleep as soon as possible. 

Your words make her chuckle and she nods, helping you sit up by keeping you in her arms as she gets upright. “That’s right, just a quick one and you’re all done” she agrees, knowing it’ll help keep you in a soothed state. 

Part of you can’t help but be glad this all happened, already planning to wear your skimpiest pair of underwear to bed tomorrow to see just how far she’ll go when she’s desperate.

[goblinhoursinsomniaramblings]

dc x dp prompt: Jack Fenton is a long lost Wayne... sorta

Bruce hears rumors of a cousin he hasn't seen in decades, Jackson Wayne. Except he's changed his name, started some sort of ghost-hunting scam, and is hitting all the items on Bruce's checklist for 'obvious theme supervillain.' Clearly, this needs investigation.

Meanwhile, Jack Fenton mainly remembers high society being boring and stifling, picking his mom during a messy divorce that had them leaving Gotham city altogether, and going all in on ectoscience, which resulted in the few members of his gotham family that still spoke to him cutting him out completely. He has absolutely no idea Martha and Thomas Wayne, the famous murdered philanthropist Waynes, were 'Aunt Mar-Mar' and 'Uncle Tommy', and is totally oblivious to lil' Brucie up and disappearing for a few years. So when Brucie calls and wants to reconnect, well, that sounds like a fine idea! Bring the kids! Sure, all of them! Yes, ALL of them.

Bruce was not expecting this. The trip ends up extremely surreal as a result.

[ms-demeanor]

Friends, I think we need to talk about Covid.

I want to get a few caveats out there before I start:

I am aware that there are people who need to exercise extreme caution about Covid; I live with someone who has two solid organ transplants and who is at the most immune compromised level of immune compromised. *I* have to be extremely cautious about covid.

Masking does prevent a certain level of transmission, and people who think they may have covid should mask and people who are concerned that they may be at high risk for covid should mask.

You should be vaccinated and boosted with the most recent vaccines that are available to you; covid is highly transmissible and very serious, you do not want to get covid and if you do get covid you don't want it to be severe and if you do get covid you don't want to give someone else covid and up-to-date vaccinations are the best way to reduce transmission and help to prevent severe cases of Covid.

We should be testing before going to any gatherings, and informing people if we test positive after gatherings, and testing if we suspect we have been exposed.

It is bullshit that there aren't good protections for workers who have covid; you should not be expected to go to work when you are testing positive

It is bullshit that people who are testing positive are not isolating for other reasons; if you have Covid you should not be going out and exposing other people to it even if you are experiencing mild symptoms or no symptoms.

We do need better ventilation systems for many kinds of spaces. Schools need better ventilation, restaurants need better ventilation, doctor's offices and hospitals and office buildings need better ventilation and better ventilation can reduce covid transmission.

I want to make it clear that Covid is real and there are real steps that individuals and systems can take to prevent transmission, and that there are systems that are exerting pressures that needlessly expose people to covid (the fact that you can lose your job if you don't come in when you're testing positive, mainly; also the fact that covid rapid tests should be ubiquitous and cheap/free and are not).

All of that being said: I'm seeing some posts circulating about how we're at an extremely high level of transmission and the REAL pandemic is being hidden from us and, friends, I'm pretty sure that is just incorrect and we're spreading misinformation.

I'm thinking of this video in particular, in which the claim is made that "your mystery illness is covid" in spite of negative tests. The guy in the video says that there's nothing else that millions of people could be getting a day, and that he predicted this because a wastewater spike in December meant that there was a huge spike in cases.

I've also seen people saying that deaths are where they were in 2021-2022, and that we're still at "a 9/11 a week" of excess deaths and friends, I'm not seeing great evidence for any of these claims.

I know that we (in the US, which is where the numbers I'm going to be citing are from) feel abandoned by the CDC and the fact that tracking cut off in May of 2023. But that only cut off for the federal tracking.

I live in LA county and LA county sure as shit is still tracking Covid.

If you want a clearer picture, you can see the daily case count over time compared to the daily death count:

Okay, you might say, but that's just LA.

Alright, so here's Detroit:

Right, but maybe that's CDC data and you don't trust the CDC at this point.

Okay, here's fatalities in New York tracked through New York's state data collection:

It's harder to toggle around the site for South Dakota, but you can compare their cases and hospitalizations and deaths for early 2022

To cases and hospitalizations and deaths from early 2024

And see that there's really no comparison.

Okay, you might say, but people are testing less. If they're testing less of course we're not seeing spikes, and they're testing less because fewer tests are available.

Alright, people are definitely testing less than they were in 2021 and 2022. Hospitalization for Covid is probably the most clear metric because you know those people have covid for sure, the couldn't not test for it.

Here are hospitalizations over time for LA:

Here are hospitalizations over time for New York:

As vaccination rates have gone up, cases, deaths, and hospitalizations have gone down. It IS clear that there are case spikes in the winter, when it is cold and people are indoors in poorly ventilated spaces and people are more susceptible to respiratory infections as a result of cold air weakening the protection offered by our mucous membranes, and that is something that we will have to take precautions about for the forseeable future, just as we should have always been taking similar precautions during flu season.

So I want to go point-by-point through some of the arguments made in that video because I'm seeing a bunch of people talking about how "THEY" don't want you to know about the virus surge and buds that is just straight up conspiracism.

So okay, first off, most of what that video is based on is spikes in wastewater data, not spikes in cases. This is because people don't trust CDC data on cases, but I'd say to maybe check out your regional data on cases. I don't actually trust the CDC that much, but I know people who do tracking of hospitalizations in LA county, I trust them a lot more. Wastewater data does correlate with increases in cases, but this "second largest spike of the entire pandemic" thing is misleading; wastewater reporting is pretty highly variable and you can't just accept that a large spike in covid in wastewater means that we're in just as bad a place in the pandemic as we were in 2022. We simply have not seen the surge of hospitalizations and deaths that we would expect to see in the weeks following that spike in wastewater data if wastewater data was reflective of community transmission.

The next claim is that "there is nothing else that is infecting millions of people a day" and covid isn't doing that either. The highest daily case rates were in January of 2021 and they were in the 865k a day range, which is ridiculously high but isn't millions of cases a day.

But what we can see is that when people are tested by their doctors for Covid, RSV, and the Flu, more tests are coming back positive for the Flu. Covid causes more hospitalizations than the other two illnesses, but to be honest what the people in the video are describing - lightheadedness, dizziness, exhaustion - just sound like pretty standard symptoms of everything from covid to the cold to allergies. There are lots of things your mystery illness could be.

The video goes on to talk about the fact that people aren't testing, and why their tests may be coming back negative and I'd like to point out that the same things are all true of Flu or RSV tests. People might be getting tested too early or too late; getting a negative test for the flu isn't a good reason to assume you've got covid, getting a negative test for covid isn't a good reason to assume you've got the flu, and testing for viruses as a whole is imperfect. There are hundreds of viruses that could be the common cold; there are multiple viruses that can cause bronchitis; there are multiple viruses that can cause pneumonia, and you're not going to test for all of these things the moment you start feeling sick.

He then recommends testing for multiple days if you have symptoms and haven't had a positive test (fine) and talks about the location of the tests (less fine). Don't use your rapid tests to swab your throat or cheek unless it specifically says that they are designed to do so. Test based on the instructions in the packet.

He points out that the tests probably still pick up on the virus because they're not testing for the spike protein, they're testing for the RNA (good info!)

The video then discusses something that I think is really key to this paranoia about the "mystery illnesses" - he talks about how covid changes and weakens your immune system (a statement that should come with many caveats about severity and vulnerability and that we are still researching that) and then says that it makes you more susceptible to strep or mono and that "things that used to clear in a day or two now hit you really hard."

And that's where I think this anxiety is coming from.

Strep throat lasts anywhere from three days to a week. A cold takes about a week to clear. The flu lasts about a week and can knock you on your ass with exhaustion for weeks depending on how bad you get it. Did you get a cough with your cold? Expect that to take anywhere from three to eight weeks to clear up.

I think that people are thinking "i got a bad virus and felt really sick for a week and haven't gotten my energy back" but that just sounds like a bad cold. That sounds like a potent allergy attack. That doesn't even sound like a bad flu (I got a bad flu in 2009 and thought i was going to straight-up die I had a fever of 103+ for three days and felt like shit for three days on either side of that and took six weeks to feel more like myself again).

Getting sick sucks. It really, really sucks. But if you're getting sick and you're testing for covid and it's coming back negative after you tested a few times, it's almost certainly not covid.

The video then says "until someone provides evidence that it's not covid, it should be assumed to be covid because we have record levels of covid it's that simple" but that's not simple. We don't have record levels of covid and he hasn't proved it. We have record high levels of wastewater reports of covid, which correlates with covid cases but the spike in wastewater noted in december didn't see a spike with a corresponding magnitude of cases in terms of either hospitalizations or deaths, which is what we'd have seen if we had actual record numbers of covid.

He says that if you want to ignore this, you'll get sick with covid, and that about 30-40% of the US just got sick with covid in the last four months (which is a RIDICULOUSLY unevidenced claim).

He says that we need to create a new normal that takes covid into account, which means masking more often and testing more often and making choices about risk-avoidant behaviors.

Now, I don't disagree with that last statement, but he prefaces the statement with "it doesn't necessarily mean lockdown" and that's where I think the alarmism and paranoia is really visible here. We are so, so far away from "lockdown" type levels that it's absurd to discuss lockdown here.

What I'm seeing right now is people who are chronically ill, people who are immune compromised, and people who are experiencing long covid (which may not be distinct from other post-viral syndromes from severe cases of flu, etc, but which may be more severe or more notable because of the prevalence of covid) are talking about feeling abandoned and attacked and left behind by society because covid is still out there, and still at extremely high levels.

I am seeing people who feel abandoned and attacked because the lgbtq+ events they are attending don't require masking. I am seeing people who are claiming that it is eugenicist that their schools don't have a negative test policy anymore.

And this comes together into two really disconcerting trends that I've been observing online for a while.

The claim that the pandemic is still as bad as it's ever been and in fact may be worse but we can't know that because "they" (the CDC, the government, capitalist institutions that want you back in the office, the university industrial complex that wants your dorm room dollars) are covering up the numbers and

Significant grievance at the fact that people are acting like number one is not true and are putting you at risk either out of thoughtlessness (because they don't realize they're putting you at risk) or malice (because they don't care if the sick die).

And those things are a recipe for disaster.

I think I've pretty robustly addressed point one; I don't think that there's good evidence that there's a secretly awful surge of covid that nobody is talking about. I think that there are some people who are being alarmist about covid who are basing all of their concern on wastewater numbers that have not held up as the harbinger of a massive wave of infections.

So let's talk about point number two and JK Rowling.

Barnes and Noble is not attacking you when it puts up a Hogwarts Castle display in the lobby. Your favorite youtuber isn't trying to hurt you when they offhandedly mention Harry Potter.

If you let every mention of Harry Potter or every person who enjoys that media franchise wound you, you are going to spend a lot of your time wounded.

People are not liking Harry Potter at you.

Okay.

People are also not not wearing masks at you.

You may be part of a minority group that experiences the potential for outsized harm as a result of majority groups engaging in perfectly reasonable behaviors.

There are kind, well-meaning, sensible people who go out every day and do something that may cause you harm and it's not because they want to hurt you or they don't care about whether you live or die, it is because they are making their own risk assessments based on their own lives and making the very reasonable assumption that people who are more concerned about covid than they are will take precautions to keep themselves safe.

We are not at a place in the pandemic where it is sensible to expect people with no symptoms of illness to mask in public as a matter of course or to present evidence of a recent negative test when entering a public building in their day-to-day life.

I think now is a really good time to sit down and ask yourself how you expect things to be with covid as an endemic part of our viral ecosystem. I think now is a good time to ask yourself what risk realistically looks like for you and for people who are unlike you. I think now is a good time to consider what would feel "safe" for you and how you could accomplish feeling safe as you navigate the world.

I'm probably going to continue masking in most indoor spaces for years. Maybe forever. There are accommodations that SHOULD be afforded to people who have to take more precautions than others (remote learning, remote visits, remote work, etc.), and we should demand those kinds of accommodations.

But it is going to poison you from the inside out if you are perpetually angry that people who don't have the same medical limitations as you are happy that they get to go shopping with their faces uncovered.

So now I want to talk to you about my father in law.

My father in law had a bone marrow transplant in 2015. That's the most immune compromised you can get without having your organs swapped out.

The care sheet for him after the transplant was a little overwhelming. The list of foods he couldn't eat was intimidating and the limitations on where he could go was depressing. It cautioned against going to large events, it recommended outdoor gatherings where possible but only if he could avoid sunlight and was somewhere with no history of valley fever. It said that he should wear masks indoors any time he was someplace with poor ventilation and that he should avoid contact with anyone who had an illness of any kind, taking special note to avoid children and anyone recently vaccinated for measles.

It was, in short, pretty much what someone immune compromised would need to do to try to avoid a viral infection. Sensible. Reasonable. Wash your hands and social distance; wear masks in sensitive contexts and don't spend time in enclosed places with people who have a communicable illness.

This is what life was always going to be like for people who are severely immune compromised, and it was always going to be incumbent upon the person with the illness to figure out how to operate in a society that is not built with them in mind.

It is not the job of every parent I encounter to tell me whether their child has been vaccinated against measles or chicken pox in the last three months. That isn't something that people need to do as part of their everyday life. However it IS my responsibility to check with the parents I'm hanging out with whether their children have been vaccinated against measles or chicken pox in the last three months so I know if it's safe for my immune compromised spouse to be around them.

If you want an environment in which you feel safe from covid, at this point in the pandemic (when the virus is endemic and not spreading rapidly as far as we can see from case counts) it is your responsibility to take the steps necessary to make you feel safe. Some of those steps will involve advocating for safety improvements in public spaces (again, indoor ventilation needs to be better and I'm personally pretty extreme about vaccination requirements; these are things we should be discussing in our school board meetings and at our workplaces), some of those steps will involve advocating for worker protections, guaranteed sick time, and the right to healthcare. But some of the things you're going to need to do to feel safe are going to come down to you.

If you are concerned about communicable diseases you have to be realistic about the fact that our society doesn't go out of its way to prevent communicable diseases - norovirus among food service workers pre-pandemic is pretty clear evidence of that. You are going to have to be proactive about your safety rather than expecting the world to act like Covid is at 2021-2022 levels when it is measurably not.

[madelynraemunson]

pass the salt • e.m. smut

DAD’S BEST FRIEND!OLDER!EDDIE x FEM!READER

part two here

summary: you’re home from college and staying with your dad for the summer, spending as much time as you possibly can with him…and his hot best friend that you’ve never seen in your life.

authors note: okay have you guys ever seen those text posts like “when you say ‘daddy pass the salt please’ and your father and your man both reach for it” 💀💀 well this is inspired by that concept. also i went overboard and this is a LONG BOI

disclaimers — photo credits to @eddiemunsons-missingnipple 🫶🏼porn with plot, reader’s nickname is “sunshine”, reader has female anatomy, race unspecified, divider: @iluvpooks

NSFW — 18+ obv, porn with plot, daddy kink pls keep scrolling if it’s not ur thing, slight age gap (eddie is mid to late 30s, reader is in her early 20s), corruption kink, size kink, masturbation (m&f), p in v sex (protected), dirty talk, teasing, sexual innuendos, extreme flirting, eddie kinda being a perv, praise kink

The sound of breakfast on the griddle summons you downstairs.

Dad never cooks.

For as long as you can remember, weekends at your dad’s have always consisted of Lucky Charms cereal and powdered donuts. That tradition continued even after you started college.

Oh yeah. Someone is here, alright. Someone Dad desperately wants to impress.

Trailing after the commotion, your fuzzy pink slippers guide you down the wooden steps of your dad’s ‘bachelor pad’ and into the kitchen. And when you near the bottom of the steps, you can make out two distinct voices — one belonging to Dad, another belonging to someone who's identity is obscure.

“God, I fucking missed you, Jeff. Missed everyone so much.”

The smells of pancake batter, cigarette smoke, mint, and petroleum fuel reel you in, but not nearly as much as the sight of the man sitting on the opposite side of your dad. He's built, handsome with wavy brown hair, leather, black denim, twiddling a toothpick between his teeth as he listens to your dad speak with a smile on his face. That is, until you come into sight. It then that his intense focus circles in on you.

Funny. You don’t remember this friend. And something in your gut tells you that you won’t ever be forgetting him after this.

The stranger's grin curls into a wonder-filled smirk. You can feel your knees start to buckle.

“Uh oh. Looks like our shenanigans woke up Sleeping Beauty.”

When you get a closer look at Dad’s friend, you observe his faint brown beard — neatly kept and lightly peppered with some gray — delicious lips, shiny white teeth, and grooves along his laugh lines that would deepen with every theatrical cackle he belted out.

You can't help but freeze in your tracks as him and your dad continue on with their banter, reliving their glory days like it was yesterday. Man. What a damn dreamboat.

Your dad’s eyes light up with glee when he sees you.

“Hey, good morning, Sunshine!” Dad cheers. “Thought you’d never wake up. This is my friend Eddie. We were in that band together in high school. Come say hi.”

"Yeah, come say hi," Eddie agrees. feeding into the obvious tension in the room. "I don't bite."

The stranger laughs at his own comment as soon as he utters it.

There’s a charm — a magic — about Eddie that could only be found in Hollywood or the Big City. But of course, you didn't expect any less from Dad's supposed ‘Rockstar Friend’.

When your parents had you at 17, life went on for Dad’s band Corroded Coffin. And although he missed out on the ‘Sex, Drugs, and Rock&Roll’, Dad insists that tea parties and white picket fences were an ideal trade-off. Because — despite how things ended with Mom — it still meant a life spent with you.

You tell him your name as Eddie offers you his hand to shake. Electricity serges through you when your hand is enveloped by his firm, calloused one. Eddie smiles down at you, his presence all-consuming. It's almost as if he knows it. And as much as you were dying to, you resist the urge to fall into him.

Eddie's no better.

It takes everything in Eddie's power to keep his eyes above your collarbones, reprimanding himself with the utmost tedium. Because heaven knows he'd be TOAST if his best friend found out that Eddie thought that you were absolutely stunning — strutting around the house the way that you do, without a bra underneath that poor excuse of a sleep shirt — a sleep shirt far too tight for your own good. With tight, pajama shorts to match…

Of course, this is all an assumption…Not that he caught wind of it or anything.

“You know…” he mentions. “Your dad has told me SO much about little miss Sunshine.”

“Me, really?” is all you can say behind those fuscia cheeks.

“Really,” Eddie insists. “He never shuts up about you, darling.”

“Hopefully you’ve only heard good things,” you mutter faintly.

And instantly, your dad and Eddie share a laugh.

“Only good things,” Eddie assures you. He nudges your dad playfully.

Your dad doesn’t exactly deny the last part, basically confirming to Eddie that you’ve got a hint of spunk to you. The heat settles at your cheeks as you shy away from your father’s curious friend.

Taking note of how timid you’ve just become, Eddie furrows his brows.

“What — was that an implication that you’re not always good?”

“No comment,” your smile melts into an awkward one.

“Kept me on my toes back then,” your dad reflects with a sigh. “Keeps me on my toes now.”

“You don’t say…” Eddie smirks slightly, gaze panning back over to you.

Eventually your dad leaves you two alone, going into the garage to fetch something that he insists Eddie would like. But little did he know that such thing was already in the room, leaning…reaching into the fridge for some orange juice, not realizing its atmosphere caused your nipples to harden.

Eddie’s eyes proceed to follow you as you strut back to the griddle, flipping some hot cakes over before tending to your messy bedhead.

Eddie probably doesn’t know — or maybe he does, who knows? — that you feel him staring at you. It’s a burning gaze that practically impales you, but you’re too nervous to say anything. You’re better off pretending like it’s something you don’t notice.

You and Eddie continue to help yourselves to breakfast, enjoying the company of each other and your mutual silence. That is, until Eddie speaks up.

“Got some sausage for you if you’d like.”

“I’m sorry?” you sputter, looking up from your food.

Eddie shoots you a weird glance as he holds up some breakfast franks.

“Sausage?” he repeats. “Store was out of beef so I settled for turkey. Hope that’s not a problem.”

“Not at all,” you clear your throat. “I love turkey sausage.”

“Okay, good,” Eddie chuckles, seemingly relieved at how quickly the situation had diffused.

“Cool,” you chuckle with him while taking some links to cook.

The silence returns once more and is replaced by the sizzling of the grill. It’s short lived, however, because soon, the man nearly twice your age speaks again.

“What’d you think I said?” Eddie circles back.

“Nothing, why?”

“You just looked stunned.”

“I just woke up,” you shrug. “My mind’s somewhere else.”

“I can tell,” he smirks. “Get that thing out of the gutter.”

The coming days paved way for some more innocent flirting.

…Like when you make sure to wear the shortest skirt in your closet when running Eddie his afternoon beer in the garage.

“Well don’t you look absolutely darling…” he says as he peers up from his guitar.

“Hehe,” you smirk connivingly. “Thank you!”

“You are so welcome.”

Eddie downs the liquid guilt along with his pride, watching you strut around…the hem of that pleated cotton fabric just barely covering the roundness of your asscheeks. And as you blush a rosy pink when you process his little remarks, Eddie can only clear his throat in arousal, fantasizing about just how badly he wanted to turn your other cheeks that very shade.

…Or when you come downstairs the next day to help Dad manually wash his car.

While he and Eddie are harassing each other with soap and that god-forsaken hose, you decide to join in on all the fun.

“Watch out, Sunshine,” Eddie forewarns. “You’ve just entered the splash zone!”

And with the intention of cooling you off on a hot summer day like this, Eddie teasingly sprays you with said hose, your white shirt becoming transparent when lathered with water. He could see everything. Your erect nipples. Your perky tits bouncing in the sunlight as you jump around in excitement. How glazed your oil-nnuendo’ed skin looked when glimmering in the sun. All as intended.

“You got me,” you surrender yourself to him. “You got me good, Eddie.”

And when you walk away, Eddie mutters slyly to himself.

“Yes, yes I did.”

…And then there’s dessert after dinner.

Eddie watches as you lick your popsicle, his fingers curling at his thighs in arousal as you retract the wrapper before enclosing your lips around the bright pink dessert. And he swears he’s going to blow his pants when he envisions the melted sugar shooting into your mouth with the swiftest hollowing of your cheeks, the quiet suction noise you make with your pursed lips forcing him to adjust the way he’s sitting.

…The final instance takes the cake.

“What’s your major?”

You’re in the home library grazing some of Dad’s old books and vinyls, talking to Eddie while your father gets ready for the day. Meanwhile, Eddie is perched at your dad’s desk, rolling around in his expensive swivel chair and occasionally doing some spins on it to make you laugh.

“History.”

“Sounds boring.”

“You just haven’t found a topic that interests you,” you point out.

“Mm,” is all Eddie says. “Maybe I will eventually.”

Eddie watches as you waltz around in front of him, following your movements with his eyes as you get onto your tippy-toes in order to grab some books on the top shelf.

“Oh my god!” you yelp.

Your plan to entice him seemingly fails when you graze a book that’s halfway off the shelf. It’s already flying off of its platform, headed straight towards Eddie's lap before you can even stop it.

Eddie catches it before any damage can be done, saving Dad’s old campaign book with the hand furthest from you and snaking the other around your waist to prevent you from sinking any further into him.

Phew. Crisis averted.

Your eyes meet again.

“I’m so sorry, Eddie,” you gasp in embarrassment. “That book has a mind of its own.”

“You’re fine,” Eddie laughs. “Can’t defy the laws of gravity. Sometimes it betrays us.”

You feel yourself burning up a fever. Excusing yourself from the room, you leave Dad’s library and make your way over to the kitchen for a glass of water.

But you’re nearly taken aback when you feel tight, calloused hands wrap around your hips, and like a feather it’s like you’re whisked away into the air, and soon your body is pressed up against the wall.

Slam!

Breathing heavily against each other now — chest to chest, lips so unbearably close you can smell the whiskey — Eddie draws you even closer to him. You both study each other intently. It’s like you’re waiting for the other to say something. Eddie does the honors and speaks first.

“I wasn’t born last night, doll. I was also your age at one point.”

———

To his own despair, Eddie touches himself later that night. Facing your room, he strokes his rock hard cock with his lotioned-up hand, running his thumb across the slit of his head, pretending it’s your tongue giving him a little tease like you did the popsicle.

“Fuuuck,” he grunts quietly. “You like when I fuck your throat, baby? Gonna suck me dry with that pretty little mouth of yours?”

You’re playing make-believe just as much. Because at the same time, in your room, you’re a drooling, pathetic mess, riding your wall-mounted toy to oblivion in your bathroom, legs trembling when the thick, veiny piece of silicone slams into the spongy part of your heat, initiating shock-waves all across your body.

“Eddie,” you find yourself blubbering. “EddieEddieEddieEddie…”

You both know it can’t be like this, but that was the mere thrill of it all. And when you both have overcome your peak, just one mere wall apart, the floodgates of guilt outweighs both your arousals the way it comes pouring in.

So, so wrong. But oh, so right.

You’re anticipating…waiting…aching for Eddie to make the next move.

He doesn’t.

“Going to the store again,” Eddie announces. “Hopefully this time they’ll have beef sausage. Need anything?”

Need you, is what you think. But you end up shaking your head, a part of you disappointed that you and Eddie won’t be able to spend some time alone together.

“No,” there’s defeat in your voice.

“Are you sure?” Eddie questions softly.

“Mhm,” you nod.

“Okay,” he gives you a grin, one in the form of a tight-lipped smile. “I’ll be right back. You be good.”

“Ha-ha,” you roll your eyes.

——

Eddie leaves the door of his room open that night. Just a smidge. You end up following the sound of his TV that he’s placed at a low volume, making out that it’s Seinfeld just by Jerry’s voice and the laugh track.

Your heart skips a beat as Eddie laughs along with the show, shaking his head at a stupid joke. But he shifts his focus immediately onto you when he sees you at the doorway.

“Having some alone time tonight?” you ask him.

“Mmm…not by choice,” he responds. “Tuckered your dad out after dinner doing P90X.”

Eddie follows a crazy workout routine. He says that it helps with his stamina, especially when he does crowd work during his stage performances. Your mind can’t help but wonder what else he may be using it for.

You snort. “Yeah. Dad wasn’t what you’d call an athlete in high school.”

Eddie laughs at that too. Both you and him know that.

He then pats the space on his bed beside him. “Wanna come watch with me?”

Your stomach does a series of cartwheels when you process Eddie’s question. You know what’s bound to happen if you follow through. And it seems Eddie knows it too. Even if there wasn’t any sexual tension between you both already, the concept of it all would rub anyone that way.

But you still follow through with it. Just like Eddie knew you would.

“You comfortable?” Eddie asks you, eyeing you endearingly as you squirm around on the bed.

“Yeah,” you breathe.

“Good…” he replies, voice nearly at a strained whisper now.

You two watch the show in silence for a few minutes, exchanging commentary and pleasantries regarding the show every so often. It’s not too long after Eddie pulls a laugh from you that he starts closing up the space between you both, scooting himself closer…and resting his gruff palm over the base of your knee.

You inhale sharply as he does so. And evident by your refusal to pull away, it’s enough of a green light for Eddie to hike up further.

A soft moan escapes your mouth from the back of your flustered throat, but you bite your lip in restraint.

"I'm sorry," you whisper.

"For what?”

You shrug sheepishly as Eddie continues to graze your thigh. Your breathing falters even more.

“Don’t be scared,” Eddie coos.

“I’m not,” you insist.

“Then what’s stopping you from getting on top of me? Hm?”

He’s in between your legs now, the rough material of his denim jeans riding up your sex, teasing your clit with every calculated rub against it.

“And riding my rock hard cock til those pretty legs give out?” Eddie continues. “I see how you’ve been looking at me, doll. It's all over your face how bad you want it.”

“The bed is squeaky,” you answer honestly. “And that headboard is a lost cause.”

Eddie puts the dirty talk on pause, squirming around to assess the guest bed’s squeak factor. When it checks out, he gives you an understanding nod. You giggle.

Eddie wastes no more time. You watch as he grabs one of the pillows on the bed and wedges it between the wall and headboard. He issues you a sly smile.

“Oldest trick in the book.”

You're back to fooling around shortly after, your aching core burning with lust as you pine for him.

“The boys at school ever touch you this good?” Eddie quips rubbing circles around your puffy, needy folds as you hopelessly cling to him out of pleasure.

“No, Eddie.”

“Didn’t think so.”

He continues to tease, gliding his fingers along your slit before slowly inserting two large digits inside of you.

His calculated pumps into your needy pussy are steady, a pace so agonizingly beautiful that it makes you squeal sweet nothings into the crook of his neck.

"Shh, baby," Eddie hushes you. "Your dad's gonna hear us. Gotta be quiet for me, mkay?"

Your hot, messy, and muffled sounds cease as Eddie soothes your quivering lips with his tender ones.

The wet sounds that ricochet and fill the room in tandem is almost enough to send him over. And Eddie is sure to communicate that… with an abrupt curving of his three thick fingers.

Fuck.

Needing him direly now, you tug helplessly at his pants.

“God, Eddie,” you whimper. “Just fuck me already. Please.”

Eddie laughs at the desperation. He hasn’t ravaged you to his fullest extent yet, and you’re already a pooling mess beside him.

“Well since you said please, sweet girl,” Eddie obliges as he starts to undress himself. “Your wish is my command."

You watch Eddie as reaches over into the bedside drawer for a fresh box of condoms. Looks like the sausage links weren't the only things he went to the store for.

“Oh.”

Eddie chuckles at your observation before shrugging. Can you really blame him? You both knew what was coming.

You watch with absolute lust as Eddie slides the piece of rubber over his long, girthy, throbbing cock. He’s bigger than anyone you’ve ever had before, and the snarky, hooded-eye smile as he watches you fawn reveals to you that he knows exactly how to use it.

"On your stomach, babygirl. Will have you all nice and pounded out just like you wanted.”

You situate yourself in prone and spread your legs for Eddie to line himself up against them. He teases his wrapped cock against the entrance of your pussy, and when his soothing countdown is over, your lips part in disposition as you accommodate his ruinous stretch.

A throaty moan spills out of the both of you the moment Eddie snaps his hips in and out of you. Meanwhile, one of his hands lays tauntingly at your stomach, so the prideful man can feel himself wriggling inside you, glazing his shaft with your slick more and more with every pump into your weak cunt.

"Fuck, Eddie... yes..." you mewl. "R-right there, Eddie, please..."

And then it picks up. You can feel Eddie’s hips practically collapse right onto you, his balls slapping against you as he digs further into your body.

"God damn..." the man sighs in disbelief.

He can only beam down at you in awe. You were taking him so good, pussy swallowing him so nice and tight. And when you nestle your ankles between each other to keep him there in prone, the nearly cries out in pleasure, but refrains because he knows your dad is resting — just a thin wall over.

That still doesn’t stop him from going to town though. Practically seeing stars, the broken record of a mouth that belongs to you chants Eddie’s name like it’s all you know. Eddie attempts to keep you contained, offering you his fingers to suck on as he’s railing you dumb.

And when he fucks you through your climax, Eddie continues with his string of lust-filled praises, satisfied at himself that he was able to make you wet enough to soak the mattress.

“Did so good for me, angel,” he praises you as he sucks at your temple. “Always knew you weren’t all that innocent.”

The griddle comes out again on Eddie’s last day. But this time, for a homestyle southern dinner.

You and Eddie were on mashed potatoes and gravy duty at the stove, an ordeal that only opened doors for lots of innuendos on Eddie’s part. Meanwhile, Dad insisted on making the rest, having taken pride in continuing his Mama’s legacy.

“This is amazing, Daddy,” you rave. “I really missed this. Do you mind passing the salt, please?”

And to your horror, you watch as your father and Eddie automatically extend their arms, bumping into one another in the process en route to getting you the salt.

The gentlemen meet each other’s eyes.

“Ohp!” Eddie exclaims, letting out a slight chuckle. “Sorry.”

You try your hardest not to blush. Eddie kicks you from under the table, and softly he oh-so-seductively he mutters,

“I was just tryna help her out.”