#some days you just have to take the L
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Some days you think the whole parenting thing is going okay. And some days you call your kids in for dinner and discover your four year old has smeared ash from the outdoor fire pit over every square inch of his body
#adventures in parenting#he left little ash footprints all the way to the tub#some days you just have to take the L
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I suppose I'm a little late to the party, but I needed time to collect my thoughts.
Here's the thing, everyone's caught up on Caiti's age and whether she consented. To me, that isn't anywhere near the point. Her being so young is certainly creepy and strange, but not the point.
Here's the first thing, though less important than the next. As an adult, it is blaringly clear how irresponsible these "adults" were. Two grown ass men supplying alcohol to underaged girls in a hotel room. They were up drinking until 6am. They were one noise complaint away from getting the cops called.
Second thing. While underage drinking in the US is fairly normal, 18 is still pretty young here. Also, publicly admitting to supplying alcohol to an 18 year old is crazy, but not the point.
18 year olds can't compete with grown adults when it comes to alcohol. They don't have the same tolerance. There never should have been any "one upping."
No one should have gotten that drunk. The fact that there was a girl leaving, vomiting in her hand is fucking ridiculous. When someone, regardless of their age, is drinking too much too quickly, you cut them off and give them water. This is how college parties are run. Once you start wobbling a little too much, your speech is slurred, and you stop being a person, someone gives you water and walks you home.
And nobody walked her back to her hotel room?? Two grown men. I don't give a shit how tired you are. You always walk a girl home. Who the fuck raised you??
I am an adult man in college. I have been around a lot of different men. I have hung around men that behave like this. Let me promise you this: they got those girls drunk like that on purpose. They both wanted something. When they didn't get it, they just let the girls go. They were never interested in their safety. They were never interested in who they were.
And let me promise you this: there's never just one girl. And any well brought up man would have cut them all off and sent them on their way. There is way more to this situation than lets on.
And of course George never asked for her consent. It was never a question. They brought those girls back to that hotel room with the thought that they'd get something out of it. To George, he heard 18 and thought, "oh cool, she's legal."
I see this happen all the time in college. Usually men don't grow out of all of it, but they usually grow out of begging like a shitty dog in some random girl's DMs. To hear a grown ass man, 26 years old, behave like a fucking 19 year old sophmore in college is pathetic. I'm not interested in giving pathetic men any more time.
Also, love and light to Caiti, she looks like she's 16. "I didn't know she was 18!" First off, doesn't matter. Second off, I would've guessed she was a minor, so I know you checked first. Or else you're even dumber than the fucking college kids. Damn.
#in a few days im sure ill have a less angry post about it all#remember men#it is your responsibility to look after the women around you#cut them off give them water and walk them home#if a girl doesnt wanna fuck you whatever#dont let your ego get so bruised youll put a women is danger#are you out of your fucking mind???#anyway#anyone trying to claim that caiti is lying isnt seeing the point#these men put young women in danger because theyre pissed they didnt get laid#danger that they themselves put together#this isnt a debate#thats fucked up#also#if a woman is so drunk shes not acting like herself anymore#use some fucking critical thinking#can she consent?#fuck no dipshit#if you need to get a girl wasted to get laid#maybe you just have the charisma of fucking ball sweat#take the L and go home#yall fucking exhaust me jesus#thoughts of dante#caitibugzz#georgenotfound#gnf#dream#dreamwastaken#oh that bitch isnt exempt either btw#hes trying to say what happened was ok
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how do you say "childe" bcs i read it as "child" or "chilled" đđ
CKSKFKDKCKDKFKND it is âchildâ :33 its like a nickname/title basically (but itâs also why i usually use ajax when im writing because saying âiâm going to top childeâ makes my brain . unhappy FKDKFKDKFJD)
#I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THIS IS SUCH A VALID QUESTION HAHAHAHAHAHAHA#fun fact before i started playing genshin i read it . so wrong#like if you broke up the characters it wouldâve been like chee-L-day#which is just . NOT RIGHT#bc some part of my brain was like âno it canât possibly be âchildââ#but yes :33 itâs an older title FKDKFKDKFJDJ#ALSO IM . GETTING YOU YOUR OTHER ASK I JUST HAVE TO KEEP TAKING DEEP BREATHS WHENEVER I START TYPING A RESPONSE CKSKCJXJDJD#getting TO*** you can tell my brain is already foggy from just thinking about it CKDKCKDK#q answers#cas <3
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itâs the way billyâs a scapegoat not only in show but for the duffers too like
people will spend all their time focusing on the actions of a fictional teenager rather than question the fact these two white men were all too eager to have a racial slur used against a literal child and have felt comfortable having racism in lucasâ story without it actually go anywhere all while putting no focus on him as a character
they use it as a thing, as a prop, rather than acknowledging it as the systemic issue it actually is - like they use it, have lucas canonically experience racism and then push his character to the back
itâs so blatant too, thereâs nothing subtle about it but because everyoneâs so busy focusing on big bad billy hargrove, racism doesnât get discussed in the stranger things fandom the way it should because everyoneâs too busy focusing on the actions of one single fictional character
#billy hargrove#stranger things#they get away with so much because billyâs just there#the way the word racist is thrown around too is so crazy#like i wish people would just do some research and know what theyâre talking about before they post terrible harmful takes that get#thousands of notes from impressionable kids#like people have convinced themselves racism is a thing thatâs like#a single person perpetuates#and that no one else would be racist in a town like hawkins in the 80âs#they believe only a villain and a bad guy could hold such beliefs#which just isnât how it works#and has never been how it works#thatâs a dangerous way of thinking about it too#and theyâre SO quick to âiâm not racist iâve never been racist becauseâ#and itâs like the first step is acknowledging how racism is ingrained into every day society rather than jump to the defence because you#believe that it would make you an âirredeemable villainâ akin to billy#like thereâs such a big conversation to be had but it CANâT be had because many fans refuse to talk and converse and l#listen and get other peoples perspectives so unfortunately this is where weâre at
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/falling back in love with film.
#forgot how fun it is to wait for it too#the whole process is something digital could never touch#I think when you start out with film early on it leaves a special mark thatâs not comparable#no editing idk it's nice it takes a burden off my obsessive nature#it just is what it is#no five shots of the same thing if it sucks it sucks and even if it does it still has some charm#one of my rolls from Dec got kinda messed up and it still looks cool to me#film is the poetry of photographyÂż it makes sense#a book of writing and film pics would be cool#anyways#if l get better maybe I'll add a film portion to my website#that poor website I've had it since last spring and rly need to work on it but it's so challenging to my brain and I never have free time#will work on making it more of a priority and slow down a bit#my brains always going I gotta destress and declutter that thing#but also there shouldn't be a rush or stress when it comes to things like this#but overall I need to refocus and slow down#life is so stressful though man#anyways also love how film is all different days it's special#still want to do that one childhood project l'm thinking of#got one#mine
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s. s ave me, meotoâŠ
#n o t me clinging to meoto to retain my sanity bc g o o d l o r d today was the worst#today was truly a very bad; very horrible day indeeeeeeed#man. today truly was a comedic tragedy in every way possible. iâd laugh if i were anyone else tbh#first i couldnât start my workstation bc we were out of this cleaning acid thing.#t h e n this other branch lab sent over a precise amount of [reagent] that we needed to make the cleaning acid thing#*and* whatâs worse was that they also demanded like. 1/5 of the acid we mixed. like bro. make it yourself mans.#but the worst part was when i tried to use a dropper to poke this sediment out of [tube i was supposed to be cleaning]#bUT THEN HALF OF THE DROPPER MELTED BC THAT BUGGER CANâT HANDLE HIGH TEMPERATURES AAAAAAAAAAAAAA#stupid new droppers man. the old droppers could handle 100 degrees just fine. s o now the tube is clogged with melted plastic and itâs just.#lifeâs *really* great sometimes yk~~~~? (ÊâżÊ)#and so the night shift dude who came to take over the workstation against expectations seemed kinda pissed that i hadnât started anything#and im just there. with my intestines wriggling about like internal abdominal worms. tryin not to cry in the face of my mistake.#while heâs fuminâ away like a freakinâ chimney or sth. like. man. no one asked you to take this workstation. you came here on your own. :(#anyway i ditched him and left for my break to calm myself down only to be approached by some random terribly lost middle aged to old lady#who was looking for directions to *somewhere* but she only spoke chinese aaaaaaaa#and i canât read maps/i donât even live in the area of my workplace so i have no idea if the lady managed to make it safely#but. lol. the lady showed me her message screen when she asked me for directions to her destination#and by pure coincidence the person she was texting is apparently related to someone with the same first name as me#the cons and cons of having common names man. i hope the lady managed to find her friend with the same name as me though lol#anyways. pls hw im begging. pls drop the crossfade for lxl birthday tmr i n e e d more meoto to carry onâ#s o b s this is what im living for now ig. meotoâŠâŠâŠ..
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
#thoughts from hel#so basically i submitted a cover letter with some highlighted text in random colors bc i forgot to unhighlight them before submitting#(i highlight things to remember to change them for each job app but i might have to deprecate that practice after this)#and then i realized and was like oh fuck and i was like well maybe i should just own it y'know. it's me being super innovative and creative#and also since i highlight stuff to change all the highlighted texts were the most relevant parts of the cover letter anyway#but the highlighting job was messy as hell after i dragged sentences to and fro all over it while i was formulating that thing. like#the highlighting started kind of in the middle of my sentence and had extra highlighted spaces and colors n stuff it was. haphazard.#so i was like okay. i probably can't gaslight (by sending psychic vibes to the recruiter-- since it's an online form#with no direct communication between me and them whatsoever) the recruiter into reasonably thinking this highlighting job#was on purpose. so i spent a full like TWO EXTRA HOURS spiraling into âcan i submit the form twice or should i just take the L on thisâ#and ultimately submitted it a second time with the fixed letter. uhhh hopefully it was the fixed one but i'm too tired to care now#part of the job description was âattention to detailâ so i definitely failed that one the first time around but the recruiter#who reads (hopefully. because with how saturated the job market is now they might not even do that) my apps#had BETTER see all the fucking attention to detail i paid to making sure my decision to resubmit would be a good one#telepathically. of course. (the difference between overthinking and attention to detail is how much you are appreciated)#i literally went on so many forums and the help page for the recruiting application website thing to find out how exactly they handled#duplicate applications bro i could RECITE this shit to anyone now. fuck#time to go to sleep. tomorrow is a new day. with ten+ more companies to apply to. đ
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Mental illness is insane I'm just having dinner w my father eating this a little too spicy pasta enjoying the Yeowch on my throat and the silence and suddenly I'm like yeah I'd kill myself.
#luly talks#i mean it came from out of nowhere grieving but it's so bizarre#like i just got hit by this very heavy rock in my skull this overwhelming and genuine urge for a second that yeah that'd be ok#that's the correct path to take and there's no physical changes i just kept on chewing on my all too spicy bc he used the wrong condiments#pasta. like sure i was a little zoned out maybe if you paid close attention you'd have seen my eye getting lazy or something but like. thats#it. and i always in zoning out#like this wasn't even an intrusive thought those come out of nowhere and just are echoing chambers of fear and shame#this was a calm resolution like yeah. that's the way to go alright.#y'know kind of unrelated but i always wish i had someone to talk about some mental health things i cant w my therapist#more on the speculative diagnosis thing. if you dont know what i mean shame on you for not keeping up with the Luly lore /silly#it's really hard being neurodivergent and im not talking about autism rn that i can manage but gestures vaguely its hard when it's#a group project. it's hard when everything is so fuzzy#because sometimes i tell myself i only think of this bc im all day alone and thinking but like#what. am i supposed to be getting non stop stimuli 24/7 least i realize i hsve something in my skull going on?#i blame my mother for that one she always made me ashamed of being sick or whatever acting like it was my fault#like me noticing symptoms was equivalent to me making them real#as if that wasn't just absurd like. the symptoms are here you twat. I'm not placebo effecting myself w shit#even the ppl who do like. the symptoms are real.#aaahhh siiiiigh yet another common L#brain stuff
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Lace: Your favorite things to wear?
(Also it's nice to see you on my dash again, I've missed you! đ)
lol thatâs a complicated question tbh đđ
#first of all hi thank you lovely! Iâve missed you too đ«¶đ„°#as for my favorite thing to wear?#probably just these comfy purple sweatpants#but thatâs just cause I donât get dressed up#âŠ. ever#sometimes for holidays#but at work I wear a tshirt that I got from my job and some whatever pants cause they get hair all over them and just get gross#donât remember the last time I actually went out#l o l when I was like 20?#Iâve been trying to go through my clothes cause I have a TINY closet and I hoard clothes cause I think maybe one day Iâll wear it#I mean theyâre cute clothes#I just donât go out anymore so now theyâre just in bins and taking up space#but man I miss dressing up#getting all dolled up#and feeling pretty#ahh good times lol#thanks for the question đ«¶#ask#lovely mutuals đ
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i just wanna point out that, like. it's okay to disagree with the main character. just because they're the pov of the story doesn't mean they're infallible or that their word is law? you can like that character that tried to kill the mc. you can think the mc made the wrong choice. you can forgive things that the mc would never forgive, or choose not to forgive things that the mc does, because you're not the main character. you are the reader of the story, and just because you can't change it (and it's not the author's responsibility to capitulate to fans) doesn't mean you can't form your own opinions about it. it's fictional! that's the point! have fun with it!!
#sometimes.... main characters....... can be wrong#of course authors will generally try and make you like or agree with the mc (in some way at the very least) but like.#even the most perfect 'good guys' have flaws or else it's not usually a very well written story. and it's okay to acknowledge that!#it's not even really an issue of the whole 'protagonists can be bad guys/antagonists can be good guys' thing (ex. death note)#but like. even if you 100% root for the mc and think they're totally in the right you can still..... like the character that betrayed them?#nothing you say or think about them will make them NOT betray the mc in canon. so why does it matter if you like them despite it?#it's fiction - you can like multiple parts of the story simultaneously. it's okay. i give you permission.#on a similar note. it's okay for people to have different opinions about the same thing#to continue the analogy: maybe your friend doesn't forgive that guy for the betrayal but you do. that's great!#everyone can have an opinion about that guy and just bc someone disagrees with you doesn't mean you can harass them to change their mind.#while im down here#sorry about all this. im procrastinating on a project and ill do anything to stop thinking abt it so im thinking abt this instead#take death note. i do NOT agree with light but i also don't necessarily agree with L either. and i like both of them!#light HATES L and yet he's one of my favorite characters. i hate everything light does and yet i really enjoy reading from his pov.#its not black and white!#have opinions! change them after two days or think about the same blorbo for years! critical thinking and personal enjoyment can coexist!#anyways.
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*grabby hands* Favorite oc rant?
Okay, I'm mildly embarrassed to admit I've had this sitting in my inbox for like 4 days, and I spent most of my time working on one of the OCs while trying to decide which one I wanted to talk about.
...the OC I was working on did not end up being the one I'm talking about lol.
We're talking about mystic monkeys today because that's what I've been invited to do! Whoo!
So, because I could not find basically ANY reference of personality or ANYTHING for the other two celestial primates, I'm basically working ground-up off my weird interpretations of the vague little synopsis I've found of each.
So...Tongbi is a bookworm. Period. He's a little weirdo. Nobody knows what his deal is because he vetoes any sort of social session to bury himself in whatever book or page Chikao stole got for him that day/week or, if it's at nighttime, sit and stare at the stars. And I mean stare. I mean nobody knows wtf to do with him because monkeys usually move around a lot and he will stare, just flipping his tail between his hands, at the stars for hours. He hoards anything space-related, particularly books and models, and will re-read the same books seven times over in a row for no reason other than he just likes it.
Sometimes he'll get so invested he won't come out all day, in which case Chikao will go inside and force him to see sunlight, eat, and let her groom him, usually in exchange for the promise to listen to him ramble about whatever he's reading about that day. She only really retains 30%, but she still knows more about space than she ever cared to because it's the only way to get Tongbi to let her groom him sometimes (because he won't groom himself). He does get dragged along on Chikao's shenanigans and usually just kinda quietly vibes while Chikao does her thing, but does help her out sometimes if she asks for it. He thinks it's kinda fun to watch her create chaos.
There have been times where the two have stayed up way too late rambling back and forth to each other, and Tongbi will sit there and point out stars. Occasionally they attract other people during this and they'll stay up all night watching stars even though Chikao doesn't understand any of it, or sometimes Chikao will get distracted halfway through their rambles and the two will "haunt" a location for the fun of it.
The other monkeys have basically just agreed Tongbi is a weirdo and Tongbi either doesn't realize or doesn't care, so Chikao just adopted him, essentially.
Anyway that's my ramble. Most of the Tongbi-Chikao relationship was on Tongbi's side of the relationship because I was rambling about him, there's more it's just more Chikao-centric and I was enjoying rambling about Tongbi. I love him. Ty.
#I don't know how to tag this#I guess?#I think?#also he technically goes by he/they but never actually told anybody that and prefers he anyway#I like to think Chikao found out because she took him to some sort of event and he liked one of the pronoun pins and got one#and Chikao was like 'how long have you been going by that??'#and he was like 'uhh forever?'#and she was like 'I've known you for like 200 years how did I only just now know'#sorry if my writing and grammar and stuff is off btw my filter loosens when I get excited and LMK makes me very excited#I'm very bad at grammar and stuff I swear I learned this stuff I'm just bad at it lol#anyway ty for reading my ramble if I'm asked for more it probably will not take me 4 days to get to this time l#lol*#Tealstars
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hiii
#just found out f was at lâs concert and i laughed out loud#i wanna say thank you for those fans who call them out because theyâre not angels and should take some responsibility#itâs 2023 and âjust ignore stunts and focus on good thingsâ doesnât work anymore#im so happy theyâre not my problem anymore#i miss old good fandom days and would be happy to come back if things got better#but i donât think they will ever be#honestly iâve made peace with the girlfucker and father of the year images#i had to take that itâs never going to end#and i was so sad about it but what can i do? nothing#hope they are happy with what they have right now#i love harry and louis so much and will love them forever but what theyâre doing with their livesâŠ#i just donât want to watch it#and i think 2015 hl would be disappointing too#2011 hl would be just killed by those actions lol#anyway love you all and going away
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Hi hopefully this isnt gonna sound super weird but i suddenly remembered i used to watch ur friendsim playthroughs on youtube years ago and went on a whole rabbit hole to find ur channel n socials again. I used to really love watching those videos, enough that i lost interest in homestuck when u stopped posting them (was never really into homestuck apart from ur vids tho lol) anyway i wanted to ask if those videos are still around anywhere since i cant find them on ur utube channel? If theyre gone from public view forever i understand, i just wanted to let u know u really created something that after almost 5??? Years??? I still have really fond memories of and they always brightened my day :)
I canât find the [other person] who asked, but. [Here you go].
#ask#cambrianangel#rambling#I have been just. *chrona voice* âI donât know how to deal with thisâ so#but yeah I just unlisted all the videos after a weird nightmare one time#re-listed some stuff when I thought I might post art again but#re: lately I canât post art at all so#if I have free time and am feeling productive one day I may re-list the other letâs plays#none of them are privated⊠that one comic dub still gets comments actually. somehow :l#the videos are still unlisted cuz I was too lazy like. thatâs a lot of videos but#the playlist itself is public now and even if it wasnât the link would take you right to it
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suffering from the consequences of my actions (headache because i ran two (2) necessary errands in one day)
#ugh this fucking sucks#horrible day with horrible decisions#because the connections still suuuuckkk bc of flood damage i decided to drive to the train station#instead of taking the bus#bad decision#did not get a parking space#so then i had to drive into vienna#bad and scary#already had a headache before getting to the doctors appointment#and i like and respect my psychiatrist#but she thinks there's something else wrong with me#and wants me to get assessed for trauma stuff#which like why does every mental health care professional end up thinking there is something else something trauma related#like i know that SHOULD tell me something that they all end up at that conclusion#but like I don't see it or at least not anything like actually THAT bad#sure my parents weren't perfect#but if THEY fucked me up so badly then how in the fuck could anyone raise functioning children#i had it soooo mucb better than the average child even in my first world country#unless i have some michelle remembers level crazy shit going on like i do not think this makes any sense#but why do they all think trauma????#the actually traumatic stuff only happened later when i was already messed up#IN the hospital and BY the staff#but they insisted from the beginning i was hiding something like that back then as a teen i was protecting my parents or whatever#and literally please tell me why i am like this l#i would be thrilled#if i knew#i'd be absolutely ecstatic if you hypnotized me and i suddenly remember sth actually that horrible and not just.#mommy never hugged me and had high expectations.#because that is not something I can see as an explanation#anyways then i had to drive home with a bad headache and go shopping with a headache and now my head hurts at home
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feat. zayne (l&ds)
cw. dubcon, smut, breeding kink, impregnation, period / ovulation tracking, unprotected sex (be safe evb).
zayne was a doctor. your doctor, specifically. it was nice to have a sweet boyfriend like him who was also a licensed physician. whenever you were sick, he'd nurse you back to health. if you accidentally burned your hand when trying to cook, he'd go above and beyond to help you. he paid more attention to your health and body than you did.
sometimes he'd pay a little too much attention. he wasn't an obgyn but he'd keep track of your periods but... don't all loving boyfriends and physicians do that? zayne would also take note of when you were ovulating... a little strange but hey, he was just doing his best to take care of you.
your boyfriend seemed to act a little funny during your ovulation cycle, thoughâtouchy-feely, desperate, hungry. his kisses were so heady, getting you so intoxicated that you had no choice but get drunk on the taste of his mouth. hands that were once featherlight now rough and wanting to touch every part of your body.
you just assumed that he had a hard time at work and needed to release some frustration... oh, how wrong you were. all zayne could think about was how pretty you'd be with a swollen belly. you, the love of life, carrying his baby and him taking care of you both. the thought made him crazy.
he laid you down with fervent kisses and fingers curling inside of your cunt. he couldn't wait; he needed you. and when you looked up at him, all laid out and pretty, he knew you needed him too. your hole was a sticky, wet messâsee, even nature was telling him to make you a mother.
the sounds you made were so sweetânothing but strangled praises and whines whenever he would split you open with his cock. any other time, zayne would be tipsy on the feeling of your pussy gripping around him but now he was practically black out drunk. he was going to fill you with his cum twenty times over until you got knocked up and your body didn't seem to reject that idea. you would like that, wouldn't you?
his hips stuttered and he kept a firm hold on your throat as he stuffed you full with his cock, a mix of grunting and whining as he finally stilled himself as close to your womb as humanly possible and let his warm seed fill you up until your fluttery cunt couldn't hold in any more. you'd be the perfect mother.
zayne hoped that this was finally the time he knocked you up for real. but if not, that's okay... you had a full two weeks in your cycle and he was going to make every single day count.
#( đđ ) â millie writes.#zayne#love and deepspace#love & deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#l&ds#lnds#love and deepspace smut#love & deepspace smut#love and deepspace x reader#dr zayne#lads zayne#zayne x reader#zayne smut#lnds zayne#l&ds zayne#zayne x you#love and deepspace x you#l&ds smut#l&ds x you#l&ds fic#lnds xavier#lnds smut#lads smut#cw: smut#cw: breeding#cw: babytrapping#cw: dubcon#cw: unprotected#zayne x mc
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Angel
PART 5 OF KINKTOBER | MAIN MASTERLIST
Single Dad!Spencer x Nanny!Reader Spencer likes having you around to look after his daughter, in fact, he likes you a bit too much.
content: (18+) 5.4k, breeding kink, fingering, fem oral, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, overstimulation, d/s dynamic but he still tries to be a gentleman although reader doesnât want him to, mutual pining, body worship with slight religious metaphors bc heâs down so bad, and of course sweet aftercare a/n: 1) i know the gif isnât spencer but i just had to; 2) i changed the title from the original plan bc i was listening to angel baby while writing this; 3) if i have the chance to describe his happy trail and tummy i will in a heartbeat; 4) this fic is basically the epitome of D-I-L-F!
âI want you to understand,â he mutters against your skin, kissing the sensitive spot just below your ear, âthat Iâm not trying to take advantage of you.â
A hand creeps up the back of his neck. âWhat if I want you to?â
âIâm serious.â
âI am serious. Iâm not the one hesitating.â
His hand glides slowly up your side, fingertips barely ghosting over your skin, and a soft, shaky breath escapes his lips. âIâm trying to be responsible."
âI think weâre past being responsible,â you counter as his fingers trace your waist. âWhat are you so worried about, anyway? Youâre not forcing me into anything.â
âI want to make sure you donât feel likeââ his fingers twitch, lingering over your bare skin, ââlike Iâm taking advantage of the situation.â
âIâm literally naked under you,â you remind him. âIf anyoneâs taking advantage here, itâs me.â
His forehead drops to your shoulder, and you feel the slow rise and fall of his chest as he exhales. âYouâre making this really hard, you know that?â
âThatâs kind of the point.â
And itâs true, Spencer realizes with a rush of heat, because heâs incredibly hard, the heavy length of his cock pressed against your stomach while he braces his weight above you. His lungs tighten, squeezing around breaths that feel too thick to swallow as his teeth graze his lower lip. It takes everything in him to keep from losing himself when his mind is already slipping.
How could he have ever imagined it would go this far?
Spencer canât quite make sense of how this quiet, unassuming crush that crept in the first time he saw you with his daughter has led to this. It wasnât anything grand or sudden, just this slow bloom that unfurled every time he caught you reading to Violet or laughing with her over some little joke in the living room. There was just something about the way you slipped so easily into his life, fitting into the spaces he hadnât realized were empty until you filled them.
Heâd never let himself imagine it would go beyond that. Heâd convinced himself those feelings for you were just something heâd have to live with quietly, a small ache that would fade with time. But somehow, despite his best efforts to keep it hidden, youâd found your way to him. And against all his expectations, you liked him back. You like him enough that youâre now wearing nothing but a smile.
Flushed skin kissed by the moonlight spilling through the window.
Innocent eyes touched with a hint temptation.
It all feels like some sort of surreal dream.
The moment that led to this replays in his mind, clear as daylight even if it happened well past midnight. Heâd gotten home somewhere between too late and way too late, running on nothing but caffeine and sugar, and there you were, leaning casually against the kitchen counter like it was the most natural thing in the world.
You started talking about your day with Violet, recounting how youâd taken her to the park, read her favorite book before bed, and how sheâd peppered you with endless questions about why the sky changes colors when the day changes into night. But something was different in your voice, a softness to the way you said his name, and your gaze lingered on him just a beat longer than usual. It wasnât anything obvious, nothing he could point to and say thatâs it, but he felt it. An almost imperceptible shift in the air.
Before he knew it, he had crossed the room and kissed you. He shouldâve thought it through or paused to consider the consequences, but the way you responded made it clear youâd been waiting just as long for his attention.
His shoulders fall with a quiet exhale.
âThis could get complicated,â he continues, as if reminding you (and maybe himself) that thereâs a line between employee and employer that heâs about to cross. A line that could change everything between you both once itâs blurred. âWe should think about what this means.â
âWeâve had plenty of time to think. If you wanted to stop, you wouldâve done it already.â
âI donât think you understand what Iâm trying to say.â
âThen please enlighten me.â
Instead of answering right away, he leans in, his lips finding the curve of your neck. His breath is warm against your skin, and then heâs gently pulling the tender flesh between his lips that draws a sudden moan from your throat. The sound seems to fuel him, and before you can even register whatâs happening, his fingers are already slipping lower, exploring the soft space between your thighs.
âWhat if I want more than this?â His fingers inch closer, teasingly brushing against your heat with a slowness that borders on torment. âWhat if I want everything?â
Your hips buck against his hand. âEverything?â
âEverything,â he confirms. âNot just tonight.â
The words send a ripple of electricity that blooms deep in your core. When his fingers finally slip between your folds, a sharp gasp escapes your lips before you can hold it back.
âYou⊠you mean you want⊠more than this? More than just us⊠here?â
âYes,â he replies, his voice catching like gravel in his throat as his fingers trace over the slickness heâs found. âDoes that scare you?â
For a moment, words fail you. The slow, coaxing rhythm of his fingers pulls you deeper into a haze where coherent thoughts are hard to grasp. Thereâs a pause, a heartbeat where he stops. Waiting.
âNo,â you confess, the truth slipping out more easily than you expected. âIt doesnât.â
He pulls back just enough to meet your eyes. âIt doesnât?â
Your lungs expand, filling with a rush of oxygen and a nervous flutter that lands somewhere in the pit of your stomach. âI think this is the right time to tell you Iâve had a crush on you for a while.â
Spencer stays motionless for a beat. Then something shiftsâhis gaze softens, and a small, almost incredulous smile curves his lips. âYou have a crush on me?â
âYeah.â
âAs in⊠you have feelings for me?â
âMm-hmm.â
âSo youâre not just⊠turned on right now?â
âWell, that too,â you admit with a grin, your fingers brushing the back of his neck. âBut itâs more than that. I really like you.â
His smile widens, and his fingers begin to move again, circling your clit with just the right pressure to pull a sharp intake of breath from you. Itâs as though your confession is a final green light heâd been waiting for. âWhy didnât you say anything?â
Your teeth catch your lip, struggling to hold back fragments of breath. âI thought it was obvious,â you manage between heavy exhales. âWhy do you think I always stay late?"
"To avoid traffic?"
You huff. "I tried to be around you as much as possible, Spencer."
His fingers toy at the edge of your entrance, tracing the slick, warm wetness that clings to his skin as a quiet hum rumbles in his chest. âYou know Iâm not always the best at picking up social cues.â
âYouâre a profiler.â Your breath catches halfway between a gasp and a sigh when he slides a finger in. âYou're supposed to notice everything."
He lets your words settle, eyes narrowing slightly as he turns them over in his mind.
âI guess I was too focused on trying not to cross any lines to see the ones you were trying to draw."
A soft moan escapes your lips as another finger slides in.
âI'm⊠glad you finally caught on."
"I'm catching on now.â
His eyes drop to the way your body greedily takes his fingers. The sight alone sends a rush of heat straight to his gut like a line of fire winding up through his chest and spreading into his limbs. Youâre dripping, the slick sound of your arousal nearly derails him as he continues to watch the wetness coat his fingers with every slow thrust.
âSince when have you had this crush?â He asks curiously.
Thereâs a beat of silence, only punctuated by the soft, breathy noises escaping you. When he finally looks up, he catches the way your face scrunches in pleasure, brows furrowed and eyes barely open, and he canât help but find it almost unbearably adorable. The corners of his lips twitch with a quiet laugh before he leans in, pressing the softest itâs okay, you can tell me kiss against your lips.
âSince when?â
You blink your eyes open at his question, and thereâs a flush of embarrassment in your cheeks.
âSinceââ you start, but your voice catches when he curls his fingers slightly, and you bite down on your lip to keep from moaning. He raises an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a barely-contained grin.
âSince?â he prompts again.
You swallow the lump tightening in your throat. âSince you interviewed me for the job."
He absorbs your words. "Thatâs⊠more than a while."
"It was innocent at the time," you confess, trying to regain some control over your thoughts. "Just a silly little crush."
His pace quickens, fingers plunging deeper, and whatever sense of composure you had left is slipping away piece by piece. âWhat changed?â
Desperation claws at you with every passing second, your hips moving against his hand as you scramble to gather your thoughts. But the way his fingers are mapping every sensitive spot makes it nearly impossible to articulate anything coherent. He doesnât miss the way your breath stutters, or how your words break apart into fragmented attempts to answer.
âI-Iââ you stammer, wincing as the words catch in your throat before you finally manage to continue, âI probably shouldnât sayâŠâ
âWhy not?â
âItâs embarrassing."
He lets out a soft laugh. âTell me anyway,â he urges. âI want to hear it.â
You fall quiet again, and the only sounds that fill the space between you is the ragged pull of your breaths and the slick rhythm of his fingers pumping lazily inside you. The words sit heavy on your tongue, threatening to disappear if you donât say them quickly enough.
"Remember when⊠you taught Violet how to⊠ride her bike?â
He tilts his head slightly. Thereâs a furrow in his brow as he searches your face. âYouâre going to have to be more specific, there were a lot of lessons.â
âThe very first time.â
âAh,â he muses. âAround June, then.â
You nod. âWhen I⊠saw you with her that day, I-I⊠I got curious.â
His fingers falter, just slightly, the subtle pause enough to show that youâve grabbed his attention. âCurious?â
âYeah,â you whisper. âYou were so adorable with her⊠and I started thinking about what it would be like⊠to have your kids.â
If there was ever a moment to leave him utterly speechless, this was it. His brain seems to stall, the gears grinding to a halt as the reality of what youâve said settles in. Heâs spent so much time trying to be the one holding it all together, but now? Now all he could picture was you holding a babyâhis babyâand the thought sent his mind reeling, knocking him off balance in a way he didnât expect.
âYou⊠thought about that?â
Your fingers trails his shoulder before slipping up into his hair, curling gently at the nape of his neck. âIt crossed my mind more than once.â
âThatâsââ wow. He leans his forehead against yours. âNot embarrassing. At all.â
âReally?â
âThatâs probably the hottest thing I've ever heard in my life.â
You let out a soft chuckle, gently pulling on his curls before drawing his bottom lip into a gentle suck. âItâs never been innocent since then.â
Goosebumps rises along his skin, and the heat pooling low in his stomach tightens as he grows impossibly harder. âYeah?â
âIâve wanted you to fuck me for a long time.â
His jaw clenches.
Heâs so close to completely losing it.
âYou shouldnât say things like that,â he mutters, pressing his fingers deeper inside you.
âWhy.. why not?â
âBecause I might give you exactly what you want.â When he feels you clench around him, he huffs in amusement. âOh, you like that, donât you?â
Thereâs a tender spot he finds deep inside, one that feels achingly sensitive, and your mouth falls open, a soundless gasp escaping before you can catch it.
âYou really mean it,â he says, more a realization than a question, as he watches your body go pliant beneath his touch.
âI do,â you manage to say.
âYou want me that way?â
You nod frantically. âWant your cum in me.â
The second those words leave your lips, his groan rumbles through his chest, and you swallow it down as his mouth crashes into yours. The kiss is messy, teeth clashing and tongues tangling in a chaotic rhythm thatâs both desperate and needy. When he finally pulls away, youâre left panting, your lips swollen, his forehead resting against yours.
âNever wouldâve guessed you had such a dirty mouth."
"There's a lot of thing you don't know about me."
His breath brushes against your lips as he whispers, âIâm starting to figure that out.â
When he slowly withdraws his fingers, you canât help the soft whimper that escapes your throat. Your eyes follow his every move as he sits up and settles between your thighs. Youâve always thought Spencer was an attractive man, and youâd be lying if you said you hadnât admired the way his shirts fit just snug enough to hint at what was underneath. But seeing him naked like this? That was a whole new level of breathtaking.
Your gaze trails down his frame, landing on the soft curve of his stomach, something you'd secretly adored every time it pressed against his dress shirts. It was even more captivating without anything hiding it now, especially with the trail of dark hair leading down. Soft, scattered strands, drawing your eyes right to the place where you canât help but stare.
He gives himself a slow pump. Once. Twice. And then, finally, you feel the firm pressure of his tip pressing between your folds.
âAre you sure?â he asks, the head of his cock sliding over your sensitive skin. âThere's a condom in my drawer."
Your body tenses at the thought of him pulling back, and without thinking, your hand reaches between the two of you, wrapping around his cock before he can pull away. âWhen was the last time you got tested?â
He exhales sharply. âA few months ago,â he mutters, hips twitching against your grip despite himself. âIf there was any risk, I wouldnât even consider this without telling you.â
âI got tested last month,â you assure him quickly. âWeâre both safe.â
He nods absentmindedly. âWe can⊠still grab the condom if you wantâŠâ
âSpencer,â you interrupt, gently brushing the bead of precum that had formed at his tip. âI thought I made it clear I want you to cum inside me.â
He can only stare as your delicate finger trails along the thick vein. It feels like all the oxygen heâs desperately clinging to has been sucked from his lungs.
âI know you said you donât want to take advantage of meâŠâ you continue, guiding him right to your entrance. âBut I really want you to.â
He finally lets out a low, gruff sound, something between a growl and a sigh as he slowly pushes himself in. His eyes are locked on the sight of your walls stretching to accommodate his size, watching as your body struggles to take him.
"You should stop talking like that," he rasps through gritted teeth. "Iâm barely holding it together."
"Here's another thing you should know about me.â
He ruts gently into you. A push. A pull.
A heartbeat in between.
âI really like it rough."
Thatâs all it takes.
He slams his hips into yours.
Intense doesnât even begin to describe what he feels. Itâs more like a surge, a rush of heat and desperation that floods every inch of him the same time you cry out. His throat tightens, constricting around breaths he canât seem to catch as he resorts to inhaling sharply through his nose.
âJesus⊠you feel soââ His words falter, his voice rough and breathless as his fingers figs into your skin. His chest rises and falls with each labored breaths, and his eyes squeezes shut for a moment.
Tight. Warm. Wet. Thatâs exactly how you feel.
"Perfect." His large hands grips your waist. âYouâre perfect.â
You mewl at his words, the sound spilling from your lips before you can stop it, and the soft, needy noise is enough to make his eyes flicker open. He begins to pull back, just enough to make you whimper from the sudden loss of contact, but before you can catch your breath, he snaps his hips forward with a rough, powerful thrust.
Your hands fly to his arms, holding onto him tightly. "Spencer⊠PleaseâŠâ
He lets out a sigh.
No man is immune to that tone of desperation, least of all Spencer. Not when youâre offering yourself to him like something out of a dream. Not when your eyes lock onto his with a look that belongs more to an angelâif angels could be so helpless and desperate. Because what angel pleads with every breath for more?
What angel cries out as he holds your hips firmly in place and thrusts with a force that drives you to the brink of sanity?
Heâs mesmerized. His eyes track the way your breasts bounce with each snap of his hips. Thereâs something almost greedy in the way his gaze roams over you, but itâs when he locks onto where your bodies meet that he really loses himself. A glossy ring coats his cock each time he pulls out, and when he pushes back in, the friction between your bodies creates a lewd, wet sound that fills the room.
He laughs. Not out of mockery, but out of sheer delight.
Youâre an angel wrapped in sin.
âI canâtâoh god, right thereââ Your nails leave little crescents moon on his skin. âYouâre so⊠so deep.â
Youâre really testing his limits, and Spencer knows heâs very far from a violent man, but right now, the temptation to cover your mouth with his hand is becoming dangerously real. Although with the way youâre writhing beneath him, rolling your hips to meet his thrusts, heâs sure youâd probably enjoy it.
âSpencerâŠâ
His balls slaps your ass as he slams into you.
âO-Ohâfuck, Iâm gonna cum.â
He squeezes your waist tightly. âAlready?â
âNgh.â
Your grip loosens on his arm, and before he can fully process whatâs happening, your fingers dance along your clit. It takes all his willpower not to spill into you right then and there when he feels you tighten around him in response. But he holds on, because he needs you to cum first. He needs to feel your velvety walls flutter along the rigid veins of his cock, needs to watch the way your body tenses with pleasure.
He needs to feel it more than once.
He lets you have your first orgasm. Although letting seems like the wrong word. Thereâs nothing passive about it. Heâs making you cum, driving you to it with each calculated thrust. Youâre toying with your clit, rubbing in frantic circles just like you do whenever you touch yourself with the thought of him, but this time, itâs even more intense. This time, heâs inside you. And this time, it takes only a few moments for the tension to snap.
You clamp down on him. Hard. So hard that his movement falters for a second, but he quickly recovers, thrusting into you with a relentless rhythm. Just as you start to catch your breath, he pulls out, and youâre left in that delicious, dizzy haze, but your mind is even more disoriented when his face suddenly lowers between your thighs.
âOh, youâre gonnaââ you moan as his shoulders nudge your legs apart, opening you wider for him. âSpencer, you donât have toââ
Before you can finish, before you even take another breath, the tip of his tongue flicks out.
âI want to.â
And he means it. He dives in with a hunger that leaves no room for doubt. His tongue starts firm and flat, pressing against you before dragging slowly upward, gathering your slickness in one deliberate sweep. Then he changes rhythm, the broad strokes shifting into something more focused, alternating between gentle flicks and deep, hungry pulls, and itâs doing things to you that no amount of late-night fantasies could have prepared you for.
Your head is all over the place that you reach out blindly, trying to find something solid, but the air merely glides over your skin. You stretch for the edge of the bed, fingertips just skimming the surface before your arms flail helplessly in the empty space. He notices your struggle almost immediately, and without missing a beat, he pulls back, lifting your legs to rest on his shoulders.
âHere,â he says, reaching out his arms toward you. âGive me your hands.â
Gladly. The second your fingers lock with his, a sense of grounding floods you, though it does nothing to ease the intensity of what heâs doing. If anything, it sharpens. You can feel the muscles in his shoulders flex under your thighs as he positions himself. And sure, your legs somehow feel weightless, like theyâre floating in the air, but the rest of you?
Youâre a mess of nerve endings on fire.
Itâs impossible to think clearly when every cell in your body is buzzing. Your thoughts scatter the second his mouth moves in that devastating way, driving you out of your mind. You try to hold on to some semblance of control, but who are you kidding? He has officially turned you into a puddle of desperate, needy nerves, and you donât even care.
It doesnât take long before that coil snaps, and when it does, your entire body trembles. Itâs always the second orgasm. The first is a tease, a little warm-up. The second one is the worstâor the best, depending on how you look at it. It doesnât just tug at your edges, it tears right through, leaving you gasping and shaking and completely undone like every part of you has been pulled apart and put back together very wrong.
His mouth is glazed with your slick when he finally pulls away. âGood?â
You can barely feel your legs.
âSpeechless,â is your answer.
His nose twitches in amusement as his hand leaves yours only for them to slide down your body, gently coaxing your legs to wrap around his waist. âContinue?â
âPlease.â
A palm slips down your thigh. âDid you mean what you said earlier?â
You swipe your tongue across your bottom lip as he hovers above you. âAbout what?â
âAbout taking advantage of you.â
You huff out a sigh. âI wouldnât have said it if I didnât mean it.â
âSay it again,â he urges, guiding his cock smoothly along your folds before your whines travel into his ears. Ah, there it is. This is the sound that would greet him in heaven, if such a place existed for someone like him. Men whoâve taken lives to save others. Men who carry too many regrets to count. Spencer knows heâs not the kind of person heaven was built for, but if it were, heâs certain it would sound exactly like the breathy moan that escapes your lips.
And heâs tasted the afterlife, once, when he was youngerâdrifting somewhere between consciousness and oblivion with a ghost of a needle stuck in his arm. But nothing about that brush with death was like this. This feels like heâs been pulled back into something he didnât believe he deserved.
âSay it again.â
Heâs pleading now. It sounds awfully like a prayer.
âI want you to take advantage of me,â you say, the words spilling from your lips like a soft, sinful confession, music to his ears. An angel. âI want all of it.â
He takes your hands again. âSo you wonât be mad if I get a little rough?â
âIâd be disappointed if you didnât.â
Thatâs all he needs. He gently pushes your hands above your head, pinning them to the mattress, his fingers lacing through yours as his weight presses you into the bed. Thereâs a sudden rushâlike a switch has flipped that it knocks the breath out of you. Your heart skips a beat, but not from nerves. No, this is anticipation, excitement.
You test his hold on you, just to see what happens, but his grip stays firm, almost daring you to resist.
âYou asked for this,â he warns as he shifts his hips, aligning himself right to your entrance.
You shake your head. âI begged for this.â
He laughs, a flash of teeth in the dim light. âYeah,â he breathes, his grip tightening as he presses deeper, âyou did.â
A breathless whine escapes your lips as he fills you.
Angel, angel, angel.
He looks at you with a kind of reverence that borders on worship, though his movements are anything but saintly. Thereâs nothing gentle or innocent about the way heâs taking you, and thereâs a quiet madness in the way you respond. Making love would be too tame, too soft for what this is. But fucking seems too crude, too disconnected for the way your eyes meet his, for the way you say his name like a prayer and a demand all at once.
The moment your voice breaks, breathless and needy, something inside him snaps. He feels the tightness coiling in his gut, and once it starts, thereâs no stopping it. The pressure is mounting, and with every hard thrust it becomes harder to hold back. He knows he should slow down, give you a moment to catch your breath, but he canâtâhis body wonât let him.
His fingers tighten around yours. Heâs moving with a single-minded intensity now, pushing you flat against the mattress, your body pliant beneath him. The bed creaks every time he moves and your legs wrap tighter around his hips as you squeeze your eyes shut.
Spencer leans down, brushing his lips against yours, so close but never quite closing the distance, like even the simplest kiss would shatter him too soon. Instead, he rests his forehead on top of yours and whispers, âlâm sorry, Iâm sorry, Iâm sorry,â over and over, like heâs stuck on some endless loop. Itâs not a real apology, not for anything heâs done, but for how much he needs you and how heâs afraid of breaking you with how much he canât hold back.
Heâs so close and he knows heâs not going to last much longer.
âIâmââ He groans as he feels the tension in his body snap, the wave building up in his spine and crashing down with brutal intensity. âIâfuckâI canât hold itââ
Youâre barely coherent yourself, but your voice comes out strong. A little breathless.
âInside,â you gasp, your legs tightening around his waist. âI want it inside.â
Your words push him over the edge. He shudders, hips stuttering as he buries himself as deep as he can the moment the last thread of his restraint snaps. He can feel it, the way he pulses inside you, filling you completely. Every thrust is accompanied by a harsh groan as his release paints your walls, and the sound of your soft, desperate whines only pushes him deeper into the overwhelming pleasure.
When it finally becomes too much, he carefully pulls out. But the intensity is still coursing through his veins, and heâs too addicted to the sound of your sound, too drawn to the way your body trembles beneath him.
His hand drifts from your wrist almost on instinct, tracing its way down between your legs. He doesnât need to see the mess heâs madeâhe can feel it. Thereâs a fleeting moment where he pauses, almost in awe, before his fingers brush over your clit, and your hips jerk in response. Heâs not even sure if heâs teasing you or himself at this point, but heâs too far gone to care.
He slides two fingers inside you.
Your back arches instantly, your nipples brushing against his chest, and you gasp, fully aware of what heâs trying to do. âOh⊠IâI canâtâŠâ
He shakes his head. âYou can,â he reassures you, watching in fascination as he pushes the white liquid of his release deeper into you. His gaze snaps back to yours. âI think you can give me one more.â
Your body trembles, and you canât hold back the soft, broken cry that escapes your lips.
âSpencerâŠâ
He loosens his grip on your hand, guiding it gently to rest around his neck. âPlease,â he begs, his lips brushing your skin, âfor me?â
The way he says it makes it impossible for you to deny him. And he knows it. He feels it in the way your nails dig into the back of his neck, pulling him closer as the tension inside you builds again. His fingers work faster, more desperate now, curling inside you just the way you like.
Heâs watching, waiting, and when you finally cum again, itâs like witnessing something so divine. Your body shakes beneath him, a violent, beautiful quake that feels like itâs pulling him into its orbit. Heâs unable to tear his eyes away as your head tilts back, lips parting with a choked moan thatâs as delicate as it is devastating like an angelâs breath caught on the edge of rapture.
If angels looked this breathtaking in heaven, no wonder people were willing to risk damnation.
Spencer smiles wryly to himself.
Since when did he become so religious?
Another strangled moan escapes your lips. When your orgasm finally subsides, your chest heaves as you try to catch your breath, and with what little strength you have left, you reach up and yank weakly at his mop of brown curls.
ââŠno more.â
He smiles softly, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to your temple. âNo more,â he agrees, pulling his fingers from you carefully.
Without saying a word, he slips off the bed and disappears from the room, only to come back with a damp towel in his hand. You expect him to hand it over to you, but youâre surprised when he kneels at the edge of the bed, gently spreading your legs apart.
Your skin tingles under his gaze as he stares at the mess between your thighs.
âThat wasâŠâ he starts as he begins to wipe the towel over you. ââŠvery reckless of us.â
With a small, tired smile, you mutter, âYou donât seem too bothered by it.â
He glances up at you. âIâm not,â he admits, finishing his cleanup and setting the towel aside. âBut that doesnât mean I shouldnât at least pretend to be responsible.â
You reach for him as he climbs back into bed. âWould it make you feel better if I told you Iâm on birth control?â
He exhales a breath he didnât even realize he was holding, his body visibly relaxing as he lets out a quiet laugh. âIt definitely helps,â he says, tucking you under his chin, âbut Iâm still going to try to be more careful next time.â
Your grin is as wide as the warmth spreading through your chest. âNext time?â
He smiles softly. âI meant what I said earlier.â
âWhich part? You said a lot of things.â
âYou know what I mean,â he insists.
âI know. But I want to hear it again.â
The tip of his nose brushes yours. âI want everything.â
âEverything?â
âEvery single part of you.â
You take a deep breath. A whiff of his sweat and the faintest trace of soap clings around your senses until you release a happy sigh. âDo you think Violet will be okay with this? With us?â
His hand slips to the back of your neck, fingers threading through your hair as he tilts his head to look at you. âShe already loves you,â he reassures you. âSheâs more adaptable than you think. And she trusts you.â
âBut... what if it changes things for her?â
âIt will change things,â he admits. âBut all the changes will be good ones."
You mull over his words. âYou think so?â
âI know so, because you make her happy. You make both of us happy, anââ
He stops, his lips just barely parted as he catches himself.
He almost said it. He almost called you angel.
âWhat?â
He shakes his head slightly, a faint embarrassed smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
"Iâm just really happy,â he explains, his fingers absentmindedly brushing a stray lock of hair away from your face. Thereâs a curious look in your eyes, but instead of pressing him, you bury yourself into his neck, which heâs quietly grateful for because heâs not sure he could have explained himself without sounding like a total sap.
And maybe he is a sap, but even heâs aware that words like that shouldnât be thrown around too soon, especially after just one night. Not before things settle in, before everything feels a little less like a dream and more like reality.
But he thinks about it. Oh, he thinks about it. The word stubbornly lingers at the edge of his mind heâs keeping for another time. He imagines letting it slip on some quiet morning, when youâre half-asleep and bundled in his shirt, golden sunlight filtering through the window to cast a warm glow across your skin. Or maybe when you meet him at the door after a long day, and Violet runs up, chattering away while you smile at him with that look that feels like coming home.
He can picture it falling easily from his lips someday, maybe even in a future where youâre holding the baby you had wondered about having with him and heâs standing there, watching you like someone who canât quite believe his luck.
Heâll say it with a kind of certainty then. Not as a prayer, not as some lofty declaration of divine grace.
And when that moment comes, without hesitation, heâll finally call you his angel.
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