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#and i was so sad about it but what can i do? nothing
chastiefoul · 2 days
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jjk men coming home and finding you crying
ft. gojo, geto, nanami, toji fluff and comfort
gojo satoru
you wiped your eyes quickly as you heard the door opened. you took a deep breath, making sure your voice didn’t come as shaky as you said, “welcome home, toru.” with a big grin and the usual paper bag filled with sweets on his right hand he planted a kiss on your head. “i’m home baby.”
you were just about to let out a sigh of relief when satoru suddenly knelt in front of you who’s on the couch, blindfold off as his blue eyes stared as if seeing right through you. “what’s wrong?” he said softly, his knuckles brushing over your cheek with such a careful gesture. “what do you mean?” you tilted your head, cringing inside at the bad feign. “you can’t fool my six eyes, baby. also what kind of boyfriend i’ll be if i can’t even notice when my girl is sad?”
you tried to form a sentence to say as an excuse but the kisses he peppered across your face wasn’t really helping. you chuckled as you whine softly, “toruu.” the white-haired man cupped your face, a gorgeous smile on his face. “my favorite sound, baby,” he said, kissing your lips. “tell me? pleaseeee.” you laughed once more at his emphasis at the last word. “it’s really nothing, toru.”
“i love listening to nothing. we even have some sweets here as snacks,” he said, opening the paper bag excitedly. “i think you just want an excuse to eat it at 8 pm,” you raised an eyebrow, as he grinned. “nonsense, baby. now c’mere, let me hold you while you tell your story.” he put you between his legs, your back resting on his broad chest comfortably. you sighed out of wonderment, thinking how you could be so lucky, being this loved by the man.
“here, pick whatever. this one is my favorite,” he rummaged through the bag that’s on your lap. you looked at him with fondness as his face leaned in beside you to see better. “yeah? you’ll give me your favorite?”
“there’s nothing in the world that you can’t get, baby.” he kissed the side of your face. “now start from the very beginning.”
geto suguru
“if you thought you were doing a great job hiding those tears i have some news for you sweet girl,” geto’s voice was gentle on your ear as he wipe the wet residue underneath your eyes with the inner sleeve of his robe. “i wasn’t really hiding it,” you frowned, somehow not liking the fact that he noticed your little moment of weakness. “yeah? so you were just rubbing your eyes all rough like that for no reason?” he gave you a little smile.
yeah, it was a battle you had lost from start.
he put his arms around you, rubbing your back in a soothing pattern. “what’s wrong baby, everything okay?” you melted right into his touch, resting your head on his chest right on the calming beating of his heart. “yeah, it’s not really a big deal,” you mumbled, your low spirit was really affecting him more than he would ever let you know. his hand kept moving as he once again kissed the side of your head, a low chuckled escaped him. “you’re cute when you think you have a choice on telling me what had upset you.”
you laughed softly at his playfulness, knowing full well to you’ll end up telling your boyfriend everything. “you’re right. but can i tell you later?” you asked, wanting just this peaceful moment to last just a little longer as you held him tight.
“’course baby, got all the time in the world for you.”
nanami kento
nanami already knew that something was off when the house felt a little quiet as he arrived. and then he found you hunched over as you stood behind the kitchen counter. “honey?” you wiped your eyes with what you thought was the speed of sound but it was clear to both of you that you had been crying. “hi ken, how was work?” you replied with a small voice, a smile nanami didn’t particularly like plastered on your face; only because it seemed forced.
“oh no, we’re not breezing past it. come here my love.” and his embrace enveloped you like a dream, all warm and perfect. he stroke your hair ever so softly as he whispered sweet nothings. when you calmed down a little he sneaked a hand under your jaw, rubbing his thumb on your cheek gently, a gesture with amount of love you could only guess. “what’s wrong, hm?” he questioned you, his eyes shone with adoration; there’s only you in that moment.
“i’m okay, ken. more importantly aren’t you tired from work?” there’s a deep crease between the blond’s man eyebrows he heard you say this, as if that was the most offensive thing he had ever heard from you. “’more importantly?’ there could be nothing that’s more important than you, dear,” he said, knowing that concern was from a good place, like he was worrying over you, of course you would fuss over him who just came home from work.
“still…” you hesitated, but he kissed it out of you quickly. “want me to prepare you a bath, love? you know i can get the perfect temperature for you,” he whispered, coaxing you. and he was right, even sometimes he would get it right more often than you. before you could even mumble out another excuse he continued. “and while you do that i’ll prepare dinner, okay? i’m sure there’re still some ingredients left to make that nice meal you like.”
“no, i couldn’t possibly let you do all the work ken-“
“love, i’m here. you can relax, okay? you always do so much for me, let me do this for you,” he reassured you, cupping your face as he trailed your cheeks with soft kisses. you’re still not convinced, as he smiled over your great concern. “do this for me, please?” he tried once more and there’s no way you could refuse that. you nodded, feeling another wave of tears coming out of gratitude for your boyfriend., “thank you ken, i love you so much.”
“i love you too. and when you’re ready to talk, i’m here okay? always.”
toji fushiguro
he lifted you up, your leg instinctively wrapped themselves around his waist as he grabbed both of your thighs to support you. you tighten the hold of your arms around his neck, resting your head on your shoulder, nuzzling closer to his neck; not wanting him to see your post-crying face.
he sat you on the kitchen counter, putting both of his hands on the hard surface, on either side of your body practically refraining you to run away. “what’s wrong pretty girl?” he asked you who’s currently staring at the fingers on your lap as if it’s the most interesting thing in the world. he kissed your shoulder blade, intentionally lingering a little long to hopefully calm your nerves. “nothing, i guess,” you answered nonchalantly, like detaching yourself. “you’re shit at lying babe, you know that right? look at the frown that you’re wearing right now, it’s almost touching the floor,” he said as he kissed your neck next. “mean,” you meant to frown, and you realized you were already doing that for the past hour. fine, maybe he had a point, so what?
“nah, what’s mean is when my girl won’t even tell me what made her upset,” he said, tilting his head confidently, his big hand on your waist as he rubbed your side. the look on his face was enough to make you relent. “fine… you’ll force it out of me sooner or later anyways,” you mumbled as he smiled, knowing that you needed a little push is all to sound your worries. “atta girl.”
“tell me all ‘bout it yeah? don’t leave out a single detail. then maybe if you’re up for it, i can show you that i got many ways to cheer you up,”
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tpwk-formula1 · 2 days
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Omg hi. I just found you and cheered. I have a order.
Lando Norris, Thick Crust, Red Sauce,
Cherry Tomatoes, Root beer, Mango Smoothie,
Aftercare
If you could maybe make it a dizzy, inconcent reader where people flirt with her and she dosnt now and flirts back and Lando thinks the only way for people to leave her alone would be if she pregnant with his child. And he definitely has feelings for her. 🤭
✨️THANK YOU ✨️
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Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu
thick crust sugar daddy red sauce rough sex cherry tomatoes "I can't wait to watch you swell with my babies" root beer daddy kink mango smoothie baby trapping dessert yes served by Lando Norris
Lando x Ditzy! reader
AN: Okay! So I am so sad that I had to close my requests early but in a week I got over 100 requests which is fucking amazing and I am so happy for them but I want to make sure requests are coming out in a timely manner so I will be completely all requests within the next few weeks and once the Pizzeria is back open it will be a rebrand... So if you have any prompt ideas, kinks, or overall things you want to see get added to the menu just send me a message and I'll see what I can do!
TW breeding kink, baby trapping, pregnancy, dirty talk, rough sex, creampie, jealous Lando
WC 1200+
Y/N POV
"Danny! You can't just say things like that," I laugh loudly with the Australian in front of me. I can feel my cheeks growing red from the sexual joke Daniel just cracked.
I can feel a hand on my lower back making me look over my shoulder to find Lando making my smile grow more before I lean up and place a kiss on his cheek.
"What are you two up to?" Lando questions with a slight edge in his voice.
"Was just telling, Y/N about my summer break," Daniel says with a smile. I watch as Lando's face grows in a smile before he's ushering us towards the bar.
"Don't wander to far," Lando tells me making me look up and smile.
"Okay, babe!" I say when I place a kiss on his cheek.
"Are you okay?" I ask Lando softly making him nod his head before flagging the bartender down and ordering both of us drinks.
As time passed I found myself talking with Charles and Ollie.
"Charles! You'll have to invite me over sometime!" I tell Charles as he finishes telling me how he finally got Leo to stop peeing in the kitchen.
"Hey, sorry to interrupt but I'm just gonna steal her away. We have early morning plans so I gotta get this one off to bed," Lando says randomly interrupting making me raise a brow before trying to speak.
"Say bye," Lando tells me before I can even say anything.
I just turn back towards the two men waving a good bye before following Lando out of the club.
"I literally told you not to wander off," Lando snapped when we finally hopped into our Uber.
"Lando, I could see you the whole time," I reply back softly not understanding why he was so mad.
"Could you? Cause there was a solid 5 minutes where I was wandering around to find you," Lando tells me roughly making me huff and turn my back on him to look out the window.
Lando and I sat in silence for the rest of the car ride when we finally pulled up to his apartment building instantly making me get out and march to the front doors not waiting for Lando.
When we get into his apartment I lock myself in his bathroom still not wanting to talk to him, but eventually I had to face him and when I walked out of the bathroom I was changed into a silky sleep dress while Lando was sitting in bed in his boxers.
"I don't wanna see you entertaining men anymore. You're mine," Lando says not even looking up from his phone.
"Last time I checked, you were the one who was adamant we were nothing more than sex and money," I reply back while climbing into the bed next to Lando.
"Do you see the way you walked into my home like it was yours? How you climb into MY bed like it was yours? The way you have half my closet full of your stuff? That's all because you're mine, whether it has been a discussion or not, you have come into my life and fucked up any prior deal, so fucking sue me if I set a boundary with you," Lando finally snaps back making me look around his room realizing that over the year of us hooking up for money I had basically moved in. I had made his home our home and I didn't even realize.
"Lando, I think we should have this discussion when we are both fully sober," I tell him softly. I knew what I wanted sober or drunk I wanted Lando to be mine but was this just some drunk game Lando was playing.
"No, I'm barely fucking tipsy., I didn't even realize you didn't realize you were mine. I thought it was unspoken," Lando tells me softly before turning towards me and placing a soft kiss on my lips.
"Do you know how many men want to fuck you?" Lando questioned with a raised brow making me laugh slightly.
"Lando, you're the only man who wants to fuck me," I reply back with a roll of the eye.
"You're mine," Lando said moving topics again and pulling me in for a heated make-out session.
I quickly climb into Lando's lap and grind my bare pussy against his briefs making his groan slightly.
"I'm gonna put a baby in you," Lando tells me softly making me sit up and stare at him in complete shock.
"The fuck are you on about now?" I ask Lando before he pulls me back into for a kiss where he flips us over so I am now under Lando letting him grind into me backing me whimper.
"You're mine and when you walk around that fucking paddock in 6 months everyone will fucking know you're mine," Lando said while trailing kisses down my neck making it clear he was marking his territory.
"You're insane," I whisper back but it quickly turns into a moan because Lando is leaning down and taking a soft lick out of my clit.
"Daddy," I moan when Lando starts sucking on my clit while lightly teasing my soaked hole with his fingers.
"Oh fuck," I scream out when Lando slips 2 fingers in and finds my G-spot.
"I want you to cum on my fingers," Lando says while speeding his actions making me feel the band in m stomach start to grow tight letting me know I was close to cumming for Lando.
"Daddy," I scream out when the band finally snaps and I'm cumming all over Lando's fingers. Lando helped ride my orgasm out before he's pulling his briefs down and roughly shoving his cock deep into my pussy.
"Oh! Daddy," I gasp still not fully recovered from my previous orgasm and can already feel a second one building up.
"Fucking hell, so damn needy already gonna cum for me," Lando said with a smirk while bringing his hand down to my clit and giving it a rough rub bringing me closer to the edge.
"Daddy," I whine when I feel myself reach the point of no return, cumming all over Lando's cock with a shout. I was shaking and so long in my own pleasure, I don't feel Lando's hips shutter as he fills my pussy full of his cum.
"I can't wait to watch you swell with my babies," Lando groans with a smirk while slowly pulling out of me.
"Lando, I probably didn't get pregnant from one time," I tell him softly with a laugh falling from my lips.
"I'll fuck you until you do," Lando says with a shrug. That night we fell asleep tangled in each other's arms.
6 weeks later
"Fucking hell," I gasp while staring down at the positive pregnancy test.
"I told you, you were gonna have my babies," Lando said with a proud smirk.
"Lando, what the fuck are we gonna do?" I ask starting to panic.
"Hey, calm down! It's all gonna work itself out," Lando tells me softly while pulling me into his chest.
"I can't wait to see everyone's face when you show up to the paddock supporting a bump caused by me baby," Lando tells me making me laugh lightly.
I knew we would figure everything out. It wasn't how I pictured myself getting pregnant but boy am I happy it's how it happened.
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helen-with-an-a · 13 hours
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Can you please do something based on ‘last kiss’ by Taylor Swift where r and alexia break up and r moves to arsenal after and ends up happily dating Alesia or Leah? I love your writing btw!
Hiiiii - so I am not a swiftie, but it is a pretty good song, and I really like how this ended up. I went with Alessia for the love interest and I hope you enjoy it.
Last Kiss
Alessia Russo x reader; ex!Alexia Putellas x reader
Description: R moves to Arsenal after breaking up with Alexia
Word count: 5.2k
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It was a mutual decision. Or at least, that was what you told yourself. It was, somewhat. It was hard, being Alexia Putellas’s girlfriend. And you, the relatively unknown, younger player fresh faced to Barcelona and all that it entailed. It wasn’t just the pressure of being with Alexia, though that was part of it. The captain, the Ballon d’Or winner, the face of FC Barcelona Femení – she was everything, and she was everywhere. When the media wasn't buzzing about her latest on-field heroics, they were dissecting her personal life, which inevitably meant dissecting you. It wasn’t that you couldn’t handle the scrutiny; you knew that came with the territory of dating someone like Alexia. But it was more than that.
There was a shadow you couldn’t seem to escape, a shadow that was always there, even when it was just the two of you in the quiet of your apartment. You had started to question every move you made on the pitch, wondering if you were being compared to her, if people saw you as nothing more than Alexia’s girlfriend rather than a player in your own right. You had your own ambitions, your own dreams, and it was hard not to feel like they were being swallowed up by the enormity of hers.
The distance between you two grew slowly, almost imperceptibly at first. A missed call here, a rescheduled dinner there. You both had your careers, your own paths to forge, but somehow, it seemed like hers always took precedence. And why wouldn’t they? She was a star, a legend in the making, and you... you were still trying to find your place.
You told yourself that you could handle it, that this was just part of the journey, part of loving someone as extraordinary as Alexia. But the truth was, it was exhausting. You found yourself second-guessing everything – whether you were good enough, whether you deserved to be in her life, in this city, on this team. The pressure mounted, both from within and from the outside world, and it was only a matter of time before something had to give.
When the end came, it wasn’t dramatic. There were no shouting matches, no slammed doors, just a quiet conversation in the early hours of the morning that felt like it had been a long time coming. “I think we both need some space,” you had said, your voice steady despite the pain. Alexia had nodded, her eyes sad but understanding. It was mutual, you both agreed. You needed to focus on your career, and she on hers. She had leaned in to kiss you one final time, the soft press of her lips a bittersweet farewell. It was a kiss that held both the warmth of what had been and the sorrow of what was ending. As you pulled away, you could see the shimmer of unshed tears in her eyes, and it broke your heart all over again.
As you walked away, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were leaving more than just a relationship behind. You were leaving a part of yourself, the part that believed you could stand beside her and still be seen as your own person.
You had officially called it quits in late March. The season was in full swing, with games piling up, and the demands of training intensifying. It was easier to bury yourself in the rhythm of the pitch, to lose yourself in the drills, the plays, the noise of the crowd. You told yourself it was for the best—less distraction, more focus on what really mattered. But the emptiness gnawed at you in quiet moments, when the adrenaline of a match faded and the silence of your apartment grew louder.
Your teammates noticed, of course. They were your friends, your support system, but they were also Alexia’s. Conversations seemed to shift around you, careful not to linger too long on her name or on anything that might remind you of what you had let go. They meant well, but the avoidance only made it worse, a constant reminder of what was missing.
On the pitch, you played harder than ever, determined to prove yourself, to shake off the notion that you were just “Alexia’s ex.” But with every tackle, every goal, there was a lingering doubt – was this enough? Would it ever be enough? You started to question whether you belonged here at all, whether Barcelona was really your team or just the backdrop to a story that was never truly yours.
The decision was easy to make. Arsenal had been knocking on your door for a while, and now, with everything that had happened, it felt like the right time to answer. A fresh start, a new challenge—exactly what you needed to step out of the shadow that had loomed so large in Barcelona. The opportunity to play for one of the most storied clubs in England was too good to pass up, and deep down, you knew you needed this move, not just for your career, but for yourself.
The negotiations were swift, almost too easy, and before you knew it, you were packing up your life in Barcelona. As you closed the door to your apartment for the last time, there was a strange sense of finality, but also a flicker of excitement. London would be different. The pace, the culture, the team – it all promised a fresh perspective, a chance to rediscover the love for the game that had felt so tangled up in everything else back in Spain.
In typical English fashion, it was raining when you landed at Gatwick. The rain rolled steadily down the windows as you waited for your luggage, the soft patter against the glass a constant background noise. It was a far cry from the warm, golden light of Barcelona, but you had prepared yourself for this – new city, new weather, new life. You pulled your hoodie tighter around you, already feeling the chill in the air, a sharp contrast to the Mediterranean warmth you had grown accustomed to.
You knew the club had sent someone to collect you. You had assumed it would be a driver, or maybe one of the backroom staff. You had never thought that it would be a player. As you stepped out of the baggage claim area, scanning the crowd for your name, you spotted her immediately. She stood out even in the bustling terminal, with her blonde hair pulled back into a casual ponytail and a relaxed smile that seemed to make the whole airport feel less overwhelming. Alessia Russo, Arsenal’s star striker and one of England’s brightest talents, was waiting for you with an Arsenal hoodie and a warm grin.
For a moment, you were caught off guard. Why would someone like Alessia be here to pick you up? But then she waved, walking toward you with a confidence that was somehow both disarming and reassuring.
“Welcome to London!” she said, her voice bright and friendly as she extended her hand. “Hope the flight wasn’t too bad.”
You shook her hand, still processing the fact that Alessia Russo, of all people, was here to greet you. “Thanks. I… wasn’t expecting you.”
She laughed, a light, musical sound that instantly put you at ease. “Yeah, I get that a lot. But I figured it might be nice to see a friendly face right off the bat. Plus, the club thought it would be a good way to help you settle in. New city, new team – a it can be a lot.”
You nodded, feeling a little less anxious now. “Yeah, it’s definitely a lot to take in. But this is a nice surprise.”
Alessia grabbed one of your bags with an effortless ease, motioning for you to follow her toward the exit. “We’ve all been there, you know? The first day, the first few weeks—everything’s new and a bit overwhelming. But trust me, the team’s great, and everyone’s excited to have you here. You’re going to fit right in.”
As you walked through the terminal, you found yourself relaxing more with each step. Alessia’s presence was calming, her laid-back demeanour a stark contrast to the whirlwind of emotions you’d been feeling since your arrival. It was hard not to feel a little starstruck, given her reputation, but she was making it easy to forget that this was the same player you’d watched dazzle on the pitch.
“So, we might have to get you a new hoodie, but that can all wait until tomorrow.” Alessia said with a teasing grin, gesturing at your top. You looked down and saw what she meant – the bold Barça badge on your hoodie was unmistakable, and beneath it, the small “AP11” embroidered in the fabric felt like a subtle reminder of a past you were trying to leave behind.
You smiled sheepishly, tugging at the hem of your hoodie. “Yeah, I guess this isn’t exactly the right gear for my new club.”
Alessia chuckled, her eyes sparkling with good humour. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you sorted. I’ve got a spare Arsenal hoodie somewhere, and I’m pretty sure it’ll suit you better than that old thing.”
You appreciated how light-hearted she was making the situation, how easily she brushed aside any potential awkwardness. It was just a hoodie, after all, but it felt like more – like shedding a layer of skin that no longer fit.
As you exited the terminal, Alessia continued talking, filling the air with stories about her first days at Arsenal, about the banter in the locker room, the intensity of training, and the quirky rituals some of the players had. Her stories were full of warmth and laughter, and you found yourself feeling more excited than nervous about what was to come.
“Whereabouts are you living?” She asked calmly as she pulled out of the car park. You gave her the address of the hotel where you’d be staying for the next few days until your flat was fully set up.
 “It’s just a temporary place until I get everything sorted.”
Alessia nodded, but there was a look of concern in her eyes. “Alright, but you know, if you’re staying at a hotel, you’re probably going to feel a bit... disconnected. Why don’t you come stay with me for a few days? It’ll be easier for you, and I promise, you won’t be in the way.”
You were taken aback by the offer. “Oh, I couldn’t ask you to do that. It’s really kind of you, but –” She cut you off with a friendly, but firm tone.
“You’re not asking. I’m offering. Trust me, I know how disorienting it can be, especially when you’re in a new city and everything feels up in the air. It’s just a few days. My place is pretty spacious, and it’ll give you a chance to get a feel for the city and settle in without the stress of hotel living.”
You hesitated, feeling a mix of gratitude and reluctance. “I really appreciate it, Alessia, but I don’t want to impose.” She laughed softly, shaking her head.
“Imposing would be showing up unannounced with a mountain of luggage. This is just me helping out a teammate. Plus, it’s a great way to get to know each other better. I promise, it’ll be fun.”
After those few days, you never really left Alessia’s flat. You had set up your own flat fairly quickly, desperate not to outstay our welcome. But without Alessia next to you, what had looked like a roomy, yet cosy flat seemed devoid of warmth.
The transition from staying with Alessia to being alone was jarring. Your new apartment, which had seemed so promising, felt almost empty. The excitement of setting up your new home quickly faded as the silence settled in. You missed the way Alessia’s laughter filled the space, the easy conversations that had become a comforting routine.
You found yourself spending more time at her place than you had anticipated. Every evening after training, you would head back to Alessia’s, seeking the familiarity and comfort that you had come to associate with her company. What began as simple visits for meals or to catch up on the day soon turned into more. You’d stay for dinner, then linger over dessert, and before you knew it, you were helping her with the dishes or curled up on the couch watching movies together.
There was something about the way Alessia made you feel – safe, understood, and cherished – that made it hard to stay away. You found yourself growing closer to her in ways you hadn’t expected. She had an effortless way of drawing you out, of making you feel like you were part of her world, not just a guest.
One evening, as you were sitting together on the couch after a particularly gruelling day of training, Alessia reached for the remote to turn off the TV. “You know,” she said, turning to face you with a thoughtful expression, “I’ve really enjoyed having you around. It’s been nice to have someone to share this space with.”
You looked at her, feeling a warmth in your chest that had nothing to do with the cozy throw blanket you were both wrapped in. “I’ve enjoyed it too. More than I expected, actually. It’s been… really nice.”
Alessia’s gaze softened, and she reached out to brush a strand of hair from your face. “I’m glad. Because I was starting to think maybe I’d gotten used to you being here. It feels like something’s missing when you’re not around.”
Her touch was gentle, and the look in her eyes made your heart race. It was clear that there was something more than just friendship between you, something that had been building up quietly over time. You hesitated for a moment, searching for the right words, but the emotions were too strong to ignore.
“You know, I think I feel the same way,” you said softly, your voice trembling slightly with the weight of your confession. “It’s more than just getting used to your company. It’s like… I really enjoy being with you. More than I expected.”
Alessia’s eyes lit up with a mix of relief and joy. “I’m glad you feel that way,” she said, her voice just as soft. “Because I’ve been feeling the same. I didn’t want to rush anything or make you uncomfortable, but I think I’ve fallen for you, in a way that’s more than just friendship.”
The admission hung in the air, both exhilarating and terrifying. You could see the sincerity in her eyes, and it mirrored your own feelings. Before you could say anything more, Alessia leaned in, closing the distance between you, and kissed you gently. The kiss was tender and exploratory, filled with all the unspoken words and emotions that had been building up between you.
When you pulled back, you could see the same mix of hope and affection in her eyes. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” Alessia admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.
You smiled, feeling a sense of rightness and completeness that you hadn’t felt before. “I’m glad you did.”
It was something that you had been expecting, but you were still dreading it. You had gotten lucky the year before and never met Barcelona before you crashed out of the UWCL. You had a feeling you wouldn’t be so fortunate this time round.
The Champions League knockout draws were to be made, and the anticipation in the air was palpable. Arsenal had made it through to the group stages with comparatively little effort, and you had been following the results of the other teams closely, hoping to avoid the inevitable clash with Barcelona. The thought of facing your former team, the one you’d left behind and still held such mixed feelings for, made your stomach churn.
As the draw ceremony unfolded, you sat with Alessia, her legs draped over yours as you leaned into her.  A few of your teammates sat without in the Arsenal lounge, the room filled with a nervous energy. They had accepted your relationship fairly smoothly. You had a phone call from Ella threatening retribution if anything happened with Alessia and Leah had given you a stern talking to – as captain or as a concerned friend you had yet the figure out. The names of the teams were being pulled from the hat one by one, and every name that came up made your heart race a little faster.
When the final draw was announced, the room fell silent for a heartbeat before the reactions began. Arsenal was set to play Barcelona in the semi-finals, if you made it that far. You could feel the collective intake of breath around you, the weight of the draw settling over everyone. The atmosphere shifted; the excitement of the Champions League clash now tinged with the challenge of facing your former team.
Alessia, noticing the tension in your posture, squeezed your hand reassuringly. “Hey, it’s going to be okay,” she said softly, her voice steady and reassuring.
“I know, I just haven’t seen them since I left. And I didn’t leave on the best of terms with some of them.” You glanced at her, the unease evident in your eyes. Alessia knew exactly who you were talking about. You had shared everything about your past relationship with Alexia, how the fallout had left you scarred and how you were terrified of history repeating itself.
Alessia nodded, her expression one of understanding and empathy. “I get it. It’s not just another game – it’s personal. But remember, you’ve changed and grown since then. You’re not the same person you were when you left. And neither are they. I know from Lucy that she’s seeing someone else, if that’s what your worried about.” Her words helped, but as she spoke, it felt like the room around you faded into darkness. Your focus narrowed, and suddenly you were back in Mapí’s flat, a vivid flashback triggered by Alessia’s reassurance.
You saw Alexia’s hand extended to you, the warmth of her touch still fresh in your memory. The music was a distant thrum, barely audible over the chatter of friends and the clinking of glasses. Alexia, with her characteristic smile and one hand tucked in her pocket, was trying to pull you onto the makeshift dance floor, her hand inviting and playful. “Come on, let’s dance,” she had said, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
As the memory played out, you saw yourself taking Alexia’s hand, moving onto the dance floor with her. The shared moments of closeness, the shared laughter – everything was tinged with a sense of inevitability. The dance floor was filled with other friends, but it felt like it was just the two of you.
In the present moment, Alessia’s voice brought you back. “You okay?” she asked softly, her concern evident in her eyes.
You blinked, coming back to the reality of the Arsenal lounge. The room was still buzzing with nervous energy, but Alessia’s presence anchored you. You took a deep breath, trying to shake off the lingering echoes of the past.
“Yeah,” you said, managing a weak smile. “Just got lost in a memory.”
“But you’re ok, right?” You nodded, smiling up at her getting lost in those bright blue eyes.
“Yeh, I’ve got you, how could I not be ok?” She smiled widely, her cheeks blushing a rosy red. You reached up to fiddle with her fingers on the arm that held you close. Alessia’s face was so close now, her breath warm against your skin. You felt an irresistible pull towards her, a desire to close the distance and connect on a deeper level.
Without thinking, you leaned in, and Alessia met you halfway. The kiss was soft at first but grew with each moment. It was tender and filled with a warmth that seemed to envelop both of you completely. You had never felt so in love before. You thought you had known love with Alexia, but this was a whole new ballpark. Every sensation was heightened, every emotion intensified. You imagined a future together that felt so vivid and real – walking in the park with a tiny tot wobbling unsteadily just ahead of you, a middle-aged you and Alessia at a graduation, beaming with pride at the family you had created, and an elderly you both sitting in the back garden, surrounded by grandchildren, reminiscing about a lifetime filled with love and joy.
As you pulled away, savouring the lingering warmth of her lips and the intimacy of the moment, a sudden loud wolf whistle pierced the air. You turned to see McCabe standing a few feet away, her eyes twinkling with mischief.
“Well, well, well, look at you two!” Katie called out, her grin widening. “Got to say, I wasn’t expecting to see this kind of action in the middle of our lunch break!”
Alessia chuckled, her cheeks flushed slightly as she pulled back from the kiss, her hand still resting lightly on yours. “Katie, really?”
Katie’s laughter was infectious, and the tension in the room seemed to dissipate as her playful energy filled the space. “Hey, hey, you were the two going to town, not me,” she said with a wink. “You two look adorable, but don’t think this means I’m not gonna tell Captain Kimmy you were macking on in a public space. At least save it for home.”
You couldn’t help but laugh, the spontaneity of the moment breaking through the seriousness of the day. Alessia shook her head, trying to hide her smile. “Sorry, I was just comforting my girlfriend,” she teased.
“I think you were doing more than just comforting,” Katie jeered, sticking her tongue out at the blonde.
Barcelona hadn’t changed much. Not really. The city still looked the same, the vibrant streets bustling with life, the iconic architecture standing proud against the skyline. La Sagrada Família reached for the heavens, a symbol of both the city’s timeless beauty and its ever-evolving nature. The familiar sights were a bittersweet reminder of your past, but they also offered a sense of continuity and connection.
The Camp Nou stood as majestic as ever. You couldn’t help but feel a pang of nostalgia as you approached the stadium. It had been the backdrop to many of your greatest moments and some of your hardest times. Now, it was the venue for one of the most crucial matches of your career.
You had managed to sneak away with Alessia for a few hours. The anticipation of the match was still looming, but you both needed a break from the intensity. The chance to explore Barcelona together was a welcome distraction.
You guided Alessia through the narrow, winding streets of your old neighbourhood. “This is my favourite coffee shop,” you said, pointing to a quaint café with a charming, old-world feel. The aroma of freshly ground coffee and baked goods wafted through the air. “I used to come here every morning before training. It’s got the best cortado in the city.”
Alessia smiled, her eyes lighting up as she took in the cozy ambiance. “It’s perfect. I can see why you love it.”
You ordered your usual – an espresso and a pastry – and found a small table by the window. As you sipped your coffee, you watched Alessia savour her first taste of the cortado, her eyes closing in appreciation.
“This is amazing,” she said, smiling at you. “I think you’ve found the best spot in Barcelona.”
You chuckled, pleased that she enjoyed it. “I’m glad you think so. I’m happy I’ve been able to show you what used to be such a big part of my life.”
After your coffee, you took Alessia for a stroll along the beach. The early morning light cast a soft glow over the water, and the beach was pleasantly quiet, a contrast to the bustling city. You led her to the spot where you used to come to clear your mind before the day’s challenges.
“It’s not always like this,” you said, gesturing to the empty stretch of sand. “Usually, it’s packed with tourists. But early in the morning, it’s like you have the place to yourself.”
Alessia looked out at the shimmering sea, the gentle waves lapping at the shore. “It’s beautiful,” she said softly. “I can see why you loved coming here.”
You walked side by side, the sound of the waves creating a soothing rhythm. As you approached the end of the beach, you pointed out the old lighthouse in the distance, a landmark that had guided you through many of your own personal journeys.
“This lighthouse has always been a symbol for me,” you said, your voice reflective. “It’s a reminder that even when you’re lost or facing a storm, there’s always a way forward. I used to come her a lot … towards the end, before I left.”
Alessia squeezed your hand gently. “I think it’s a beautiful metaphor. And I’m really honoured you chose to share this with me.”
When you returned to the team, the focus shifted back to the semi-final. The match preparations were in full swing, and the energy in the Arsenal camp was a blend of excitement and determination. The familiar routines and strategies took over, but you carried with you the calm and clarity from your time with Alessia.
You pulled out the familiar blue and red hoodie, the sleeves well-worn and tattered, the letters peeling slightly. You weren’t quite sure why you hadn’t gotten rid of it sooner. Maybe there was a part of you that was still clinging to the life you had in the Comital City. 
As you held the hoodie, you could almost feel the echoes of past moments – the excitement of first stepping onto the Camp Nou pitch, the camaraderie of teammates, the way you had fallen for the girl with hazel eyes, your first kiss, the first I love you, the first fight, that final goodbye. The way the emotional highs and lows that had defined your time with Barcelona was so entangled in that hoodie. Each frayed edge and faded logo seemed to tell a story of its own.
You ran your fingers over the letters, your thoughts drifting back to the times when this hoodie was your constant companion, a source of comfort and a symbol of your commitment to the team. It had been there through celebrations and defeats, through the ups and downs of your journey. It was more than just a piece of clothing; it was a tangible link to your past. You folded it carefully before placing it in your rucksack, being careful not to squash it too much.
It was after the match when you were finally able to see her. She looked the same, yet different. Her blonde hair was back and brighter than ever, pulled up into her signature style. Those hazel eyes that used to hold so much love for you, now gazed adoringly at someone else. You had managed to bring the hoodie out with you to the subs bench, keeping it wrapped up in your Arsenal jumper until you were switched out.
As you walked across the pitch, your eyes caught Alexia’s once more. She was talking animatedly with Lucy and Keira, her face lit up with genuine joy. You saw her glance in your direction, and for a moment, those hazel eyes met yours. There was no rush of emotion, no pang of longing - just a simple acknowledgment. In that moment, you realised you were well and truly over Alexia. The past had its place, but it no longer held the power it once did.
Alexia’s gaze lingered for a heartbeat longer, and then she excused herself from her conversation with her teammates. She approached you with a genuine smile, her eyes reflecting a mix of nostalgia and warmth.
“Hey,” she said as she reached you, her voice friendly and upbeat.
“Hi,” you smiled at her. “Congrats on the win, should’ve known the midfield would been absolutely stacked. It’s definitely not fair to have to play against you, Aitana and Patri,” you teased.
Alexia laughed, a sound that felt like a soothing balm. “Stop, Williamson and you as a centre-back pairing are equally as terrifying. I don’t know why we didn’t move you to the back line when you were here.”
You chuckled, feeling the ease of the conversation flow naturally. “Maybe I would’ve been less of a target if I had. But I suppose I’m happy with how things turned out. Besides, it’s nice to be on the other side of the field for once.”
“Fair point,” Alexia said, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “And, honestly, it’s good to see you thriving. I remember the days when you’d barely make it through a training session without tripping over your own feet.”
You laughed, playfully nudging her. “Oh, really? I think you might be remembering the wrong player. I seem to recall you falling flat on your face trying to impress everyone with that ‘signature move’ of yours.”
You felt an arm sneak around your waist. You didn’t need to look down to see who it was. “Sorry to interrupt, my love, but you left this by your things. I thought you might need it.” Alessia’s smooth, honey-like voice was a welcome and familiar comfort.
You turned to see her holding the blue and red hoodie you had brought with you. The sight of it in her hands felt like a grounding force amid the whirlwind of emotions and conversations. You took the hoodie from her with a grateful smile. “Thanks, Lessi.” You leaned across as pressed a swift peck to her lips.
Alessia’s eyes softened, and she returned your smile. “Anytime.”
You glanced back at Alexia, who was watching with a mix of curiosity and amusement. “Um, this is for you. I probably should have given it back ages ago, but … I don’t really know why I kept it. It’s yours anyway.” You extended the hoodie in her direction.
Alexia took the hoodie from you, her fingers brushing against yours in a brief, electric touch. She looked at it, a small smile playing at her lips. “Esa puta sudadera con capucha,” she joked, rolling her eyes as she took the fabric from your hands. “I had wondered where it had gone.”
You laughed, the tension melting away. “I guess it was hiding out with me, like a little piece of nostalgia.”
Alessia leaned in, her tone playful. “Did you steal it just to keep a part of Barcelona with you?”
You grinned, nudging her gently. “Maybe just a bit. It had sentimental value.”
Alexia chuckled, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “Well, now it’s found its way back home. I’ll give it a good wash and return it to its rightful place in the archives of my wardrobe.”
“Glad to hear it,” you said, grinning. “I’m sure it’s been feeling lonely.”
“Definitely,” Alexia said with a wink. “But it’s good to see it again.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “You too. You seem really happy.”
“As do you,” Alexia said, her smile genuine and warm. “Seems like you’ve found your place.”
“You could say that”, you replied, looking at Alessia, squeezing her against you. “I’m in a pretty good place right now.”
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bakugoushotwife · 2 days
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in my opinion, gojo’s storyline has been handled so so poorly i can’t help but think it’s intentional. it is not bad writing to kill a character—even a beloved character. i know most people will dismiss my criticisms because gojo is so beloved to me and so many others. i’ve said before that i don’t mind if he died. does it hurt? of course, and i would still cry and be sad about it. but there is a beautiful way to do it. with respect and honor for his legacy—for what he has done for your manga, the characters in it, and audiences worldwide. but no…gege chose the path of horror and disrespect. at certain points i’d say to myself, well. this is a dark manga. but essentially gojo is the only character that receives this treatment. since the beginning—since suguru left him, he’s been wondering if he mattered because he was a person, or if he only mattered because he was powerful and useable. we certainly fucking answered that question. he is a weapon and nobody ever cared about him at all!!!
and we knew he was being used—he knew he was being used, but he is selfless. so he did it for his kids. for megumi and yuuji and yuuta—he wanted them to be safe. in these flashbacks it’s exceedingly clear that he knew he would die. again—that’s not my issue. gojo dying to sukuna makes plenty of sense and it would hurt to leave it there. but to give us an afterlife scene where he’s presented a choice—north and south—that concept lead nowhere, that’s truly fucked up. to leave all the subtle clues and hints for no reason but to keep people reading and theorizing his return is fucked up. to continue to use his imagery to promote your manga when you know he’s not even honored in your manga is fucked up. we don’t get a funeral or a grave for him. no one’s spoken about him in chapters despite him fighting for hours against sukuna and damaging him so much that yuuji could win, nothing. yuuta wearing him like a costume and no one is horrified about it. i thought his students WERE different. they weren’t jujutsu society yet. that’s why gojo was their teacher—shaping them into better human beings. how am i supposed to trust in their future when it seems they’re just as cold and heartless as everyone before them? no one has honored gojo in any way since the moment he died. and they’ve forgotten about him. he spent his entire life fighting and no one can even say thank you. gege intentionally used gojo to promote the end of his manga because he knows that gojo fans make up at least half of his fanbase so had we stopped reading when he died, he would have lost a lot of traction. he baited us intentionally, cruelly, and something that transcends storytelling. i’ve truly never seen a mangaka have this sort of vitriol for one of their characters and the people that love him.
we spent the entire last chapter talking about some random fucking mission when we have several unanswered questions and concerns. i thought gege said he wanted this ending to be shocking and something you didn’t see in shonen? tying everything up neatly where no one has any trauma or grief for what they’ve experienced, everyone comes back to life except the one character you hate specifically and choso, defying your own power structures and having everyone laughing into the sunset is exactly how shonen ends so what in the fuck is he talking about??
let me disclaim, this is not megumi hate at all. i love him very much and i am so happy he’s back with the group but like. he shouldn’t be able to even walk. he tanked unlimited void for over 6 minutes whenever that length caused irreversible damage to sukuna himself. not to mention the countless black flashes. so what the fuck? he doesn’t mention gojo at all?? the first time he laughs in this manga is after he reads a note written by his dead fucking caretaker about his dead fucking father? like i don’t believe. random open ended kenjaku/suguru mention just to piss me off, an absolutely no mention of gojos sacrifice or how they’ll miss him. i’m sick to my stomach. gege defiled his memory both in the story and outside of it. wow.
P.S. SUKUNA CARED MORE ABOUT GOJO THAN ANYONE ELSE (SUGURU IS NOT INCLUDED IN THIS I MEAN HIS STUDENTS AND SOCIETY)
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Text
Until I found you
The reader's nickname is princess. There are slightly spicy scenes so mdni. Fuck boy Eddie who quickly turns into simp for you Eddie, fluff and a bit of angst. 18+
❤️
The First time that Eddie met you was when he was running from a very irate ex fling. He had literally just ended things and she had taken it badly; even though he told Cassia that he wasn't a relationship guy, she still thought that she could change him.
So intent on getting away from the crying and yelling he fell arse over tit and landed in a heap at your feet.
Normally Eddie would put on the charm right about now but his mind had gone blank at your pretty smile and the amusement in your eyes.
"Uh hey, you wouldn't mind hiding me from my very angry ex would you?" you snort at his request and proceed to help him up.
Now he would like to say that he charmed the pants off you that night but he didn't. In fact it was weeks before that would happen.
Eddie didn't do love. He was too cynical for that shit and he had seen enough break ups and fighting from his own parents and couples around him in his early years that it stuck with him.
Truthfully when he was younger there was still an idealised part of him that dreamed of finding someone who would love him but after various disappointments it was easy to close off that part of him.
He was thirty nine and had yet to have a serious relationship, preferred to indulge in flings with like minded people; there were still a few women who liked to think they could change his mind despite his warnings but they were unsuccessful.
Some people liked nothing better than a challenge and Eddie was a challenge, but he was also stubborn and refused to change his mind about things.
Even when he met you he was still determined that you would be like the others, that this would be a short fling and then be over within weeks... well if you ever agreed to go on a date with himm
However you seemed to have other ideas...
When you finally did agree to a date, Eddie made sure you knew the rules. No way was he having another angry woman chasing after him. You seemed pretty nonchalant about the whole thing until towards the end when you surprised him by gently taking his hand.
"Doesn't it get lonely?" you ask him curious and a little sad. He swallows and shakes his head. "No" he murmurs but that isn't quite the truth, he does get lonely but chases it away with flings, weed and D&D.
You didn't look like you believed him but you dropped it and gave him a little smirk. "So what's this amazing date you're taking me on Munson?"
❤️
Weeks pass and Eddie doesn't seem to realise that this has lasted longer than his usual flings, the two of you are having fun so he doesn't see why you would have to stop now.
Eddie groans as he thrusts into you, he can never get over how incredible it feels being inside of you and quickens the pace, loves the way you moan his name and clench around him.
A powerful, intense orgasm rocks the both of you and Eddie moans into your neck, softly kissing over it and your breasts. You're still shaking from the intensity of the orgasm, eyes closed and a blissful smile on your face.
"Hey beautiful" he caresses your cheek for a second, you cuddle back in his arms and look so content and happy, warmness spreads over his chest as he watches you. Fuck.
This was bad, this was very bad. What the fuck was going on with him? He was moving into dangerous territory here, things he avoided like the plague.
While you were nodding off he quickly dressed and tried to ignore his racing thoughts. So he liked spending time with you? So what! that didn't mean anything.
The content feelings that had been popping up out of nowhere meant nothing either, the warm feeling when he looked at you? Maybe he was getting sick or the AC was too high. That must be it..
This was fine. Maybe if he kept telling himself this then he would believe it? He feels a tug on his hand as he's trying to find his shirt and you're wide awake and gazing at him with big puppy eyes.
"Stay" you murmur sleepily and pout, it's so adorable that Eddie can't help but join you back in the bed.
This was fine. It was just one night it didn't mean anything. Nothing at all.
...
Steve is the first person to notice what's happening, he presses a beer into Eddie's hands before everyone arrives for the campaign and the two settle to chat.
"So you and princess? It's lasting a while huh?" Steve waggles his eyebrows at Eddie who almost chokes on the beer he's drinking, annoyed at Steve's teasing tone he shrugs and answers.
"I could end things whenever I want Steve" Eddie waves off Steve's comment, he really doesn't want to mention to Steve how sick he feels at the thought of never seeing you again.
"Yeah, you could but you don't want to Munson and you need to admit that to yourself" Steve says wisely and is saved from answering as some of Hellfire arrive.
No he doesn't.
Steve doesn't stop there and pins Eddie with his gaze. "Dude she's a catch and if you lose her because you're so stubborn, you know she will get snapped up like that" he snaps his fingers and Eddie feels like he's been punched in the gut.
Steve is right. He knows he's right and Eddie knows he's right and those thoughts stay with him.
He tries to lose himself in the campaign, and it works for a while, he's completely in DM mode and smiling at his enraptured audience. Dustin and mini Dustin are hanging on his every word as he finishes this part of the campaign on a cliffhanger.
"Dude, seriously!" Mike whines and Eddie smirks and pats Mike on the shoulder, "Wheeler good things come to those who wait. Now scram!" he orders him.
He's already annoyed that he was so distracted at times during the campaign in the first place, it wasn't often but it was enough to unnerve him. Since when did he get distracted while he was in the zone?
It was you that was distracting him and Steve stupid musings but speaking of you distracting him...
You walk into Steve's house smiling shyly at Steve and your eyes light up the minute that you find Eddie. His heart annoyingly speeds up which makes him grumble under his breath.
The minute you're in his arms his grumbling ceases and he smiles. "Hey whatcha doing here princess?" he's aware of the others watching him and gawking, he throws them a dark look and they scatter off in different directions.
"I thought I'd surprise you, is that alright?" you ask nervously and he's quick to assure you it's fine. The two of you liked hanging out together so he didn't see the problem and he never wanted you to feel nervous asking him these things.
"Sure princess, you want me to teach you how to play? I have a mini set back home" he doesn't expect you'll say yes but you surprise him by nodding happily.
"I'd like that Eddie"
❤️
Eddie smiles as you fall asleep cuddled into his chest, the two of you have barely left the bed since he picked you up from work and you're finally tuckered out.
Usually right about now he would slip out while you slept. Except he finds out that he doesn't want to, he wants to stay and the thought doesn't make him want to run for the hills.
You mumble in your sleep then whimper as your hand traces the empty sheets, he moves closer to you and instinctively you seek him out and sigh content when you're cuddled up on his chest.
It's cute as fuck and he melts. Melts, he can't cope with how sweet that was and he feels that warmness flood over him again as he strokes your hair.
The realisation hits him then. He could happily do this for the rest of his life.
Well shit. That was new and terrifying and he needs to leave now and not look back.
For a second it feels like he can't breath and he's gently moving you to your side of the bed and is halfway through scrambling for his boxers when it hits him that he doesn't want to leave.
His breathing calms and the racing beat of his heart slows down to a normal rhythm.
Once again the thought of not seeing you again makes him feel like his chest had caved in and he slumps back on the bed and immediately gathers you back in his arms.
With a gentle kiss to your hair and the feeling of your body flush against his, he begins to relax and he admits to himself that the feeling of you in his arms is something he will never tire of.
He wants to do this for the rest of his life.
❤️
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unequivocallyreid · 15 hours
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Why Didn’t You Tell Me?
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it has been SO long... i was suffering from serious writers block but it think i'm finally out of it :)
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader
summary: Spencer Reid used to be your best friend, but things changed. How long can you pretend that you don't love him before it ruins you?
warnings: angst! (with a happy ending), smut (unprotected piv), character loss, mention of Maeve, very sad Spencer, mental health struggles, light choking, fighting, slight praise kink
wc: 8.8k 🤗
i’m very proud of this one! i hope you love it!
Every morning when you wake up, you feel a familiar and creeping sort of dread in the pit of your stomach.
Don’t get the wrong idea; you love your job. You love helping people and stopping horrible people from ruining any more lives, but the creeping feeling and desire to get out is always in the corner of your mind. Anyone working in this field would tell you that. There’s no absolute separation between you and the victims and their families. You take all of them home with you, and you just have to learn how to deal with that and not let it eat at you.
It doesn’t help that it’s an isolating job as well. The last time you were in a serious relationship was in college. Now, every date you have ends in disappointment. Not only do you lack interest in most of the men and women, but it couldn’t go anywhere even if you did. 75% of your time is spent in the office, on a jet, or hundreds of miles away from your home.
All of this contributes to the feeling, but the worst part of your job is Dr. Spencer Reid.
He’s secretive and dismissive and just about the most attractive person you’d ever seen. You honestly don’t know what is worse: his constant physical presence in your life or the fact that you can’t stop thinking about him no matter what you do. You’ve tried to get over it; you’ve buried yourself in work, lamented to your friends, and gone out on dates (all with guys that looked vaguely similar), but nothing has worked. All his worst traits grate your nerves and light you up at the same time.
The worst part of it all is that it wasn’t always like this. When you first joined the BAU nearly two years ago, you and Spencer got along well. You were friends, he talked to you about his life, he understood you, and you really severely fell for him. He became your best friend.
Everything changed around six months ago. Spencer started to develop migraines, and as those developed, he started distancing himself from you. He became snippy and closed off, he started hiding things from you, and he stopped talking to you about life outside of Quantico. It was like overnight, you became nothing to him, and you really didn’t understand. Everyone else on the team got the same old Spencer, but you went from his right-hand man to someone he only spoke to when it was necessary.
Maybe he didn’t deserve to be vilified. You know, realistically, he can and should be able to decide who he wants to be close to, but working with a man who unknowingly broke your heart was close to the hardest thing you’d ever done. So, you decided hating him was easier. The real emotions you feel toward him sit somewhere inside you, but they have been covered by manufactured distaste. Addressing the actual feeling would hurt too bad, so you pretend to hate the things you used to love.
Nothing, however, could have prepared you for the last case you worked on: helping Spencer save a girl he met about six months ago, a girl he loved. You tried to stay collected, you said nothing when Spencer assisted when he shouldn’t have, and goddamn, did you do everything in your power to find that girl. Maeve. She was perfect for Spencer, and you saw that immediately. Everyone did. The sight of him sobbing in front of her body is one that will never leave your mind.
Now, two weeks later, no one has heard from Reid. The only indication that he hasn’t abandoned his life altogether is the absence of the gift baskets on his doorstep that Pen leaves daily.
Nearly everyone has been to his apartment, but they are met with a closed door and have yet to receive a response. Everyone but you.
Penelope is the first to bring up your lack of appearance at the end of a long day of paperwork.
“Y/n, please, you just have to try. No one is getting anything from him.”
“I really don’t think my presence would do any good,” you pause for a moment, trying to collect the thoughts running through your head like a freight train. “Me and him haven’t been close in a long time, Pen.”
Before you can continue, she cuts in, “Everyone has tried, Y/n. Hell, I’ve even considered tracking down Gideon, and I really, really do not want to do that.”
She pauses for a moment before looking up at you with a pout on her face, “Please, Y/n, for me. I can’t bear the thought of him in there all alone, just wasting away in grief.”
For someone who claims not to be a profiler, Penelope knew exactly what to say to get you to agree. She’s the only person in your life who you told about how you felt, though you’re sure everyone else (aside from Spencer) knew: you’re shit at keeping secrets.
“Okay, okay, I’ll try.”
She nearly bursts with excitement, “Thank God-“
You cut her off before she can finish, “But I’m telling you, I’m not the person he wants to hear from right now. Don’t get your hopes up.”
“Yes, yes. I just want him to know we all want him to be okay.”
Before you can hurry out of the office to follow Pen’s instructions, she stops you and hands you a basket full of assorted snacks and fruits.
“Make sure he eats!”
The walk up to Spencer’s apartment is a hard one to take. The smell of his building hits you as soon as you step into the lobby. From there, everything rushes back at once. Memories of nights you spent watching reruns of Doctor Who or listening to him prattle off about whatever he last read assault you with every step. As you slowly make your way up, you start to question why you agreed to do this in the first place.
You feel a lot toward Reid. More than you should and less than you could. But all that care and feelings that are so close to love aren’t enough to make you forget why you’ve been trying to hate him for so long. He deserted you without an explanation and cut you off without a warning. You spent weeks (three months) crying over him like a love-struck teen. So, as much as you want to hold him and comfort him, you know it’ll hurt you to do so. Penelope sent you, with the whole team’s approval, you’re sure, to try to patch up a broken heart he got loving someone else. There’s a sickness in your gut, but it’s not enough to stop you from rapping your knuckles against his door.
“Spencer? It’s Y/n.”
There’s no response.
“I know you probably don’t want to hear from me right now, but I want to make sure you’re alright. Can you tell me you’re alright?”
Again, nothing.
You know he’s there. Despite your lack of communication, you know Spencer well enough to know that he would never leave his life behind entirely. That being said, your next few attempts at garnering a response are unsuccessful.
You decide to try one final time before just leaving the basket alone on his doorstep and texting Pen it was a bust.
“There’s a lot I don’t know about you now, and I won’t pretend to know what you’re feeling.”
You don’t exactly know where this is headed, but you continue on regardless.
“I know you’re in there, and I know you can hear me, and I know you’re hurting. You shouldn’t- I don’t want you to be alone right now, Spence. You can either unlock your door, or I can pick it, but I’m coming in one way or the other. You know I will.”
You wouldn’t, actually. It’s a last-ditch effort, and it’s met with the same silence you’ve heard on the other side for the past ten minutes. You’re about to turn to head back down the stairs when you hear the very faint sound of a deadbolt turning.
There’s no other sound or movement, and for a moment, you think you might’ve imagined the sound, but you try the handle anyway. It turns, and the door slides open. You take a step in.
“Spencer,” you call out to him.
You don’t see him at first in the mess of his apartment, but when you do, you feel a crack form in your heart.
Beyond the clutter of his entryway, you see his back on the couch. His frame looks smaller than you’ve ever seen it, and you can see his legs curled into his chest. You set down the gift basket by a collection of others on the entry table and walk over to him. Slowly, like you’re trying not to spook a lost dog, you creep in front of him.
His head is down, and his gaze stays trained on his knees.
You reach out your hand and lay it over his. He flinches but doesn’t pull away.
“Spence, I’m so glad you opened the door.”
You didn’t plan out what you would say, but ‘sorry’ feels redundant and useless.
You go on, “I’m here. I- I don’t know what to do or say, and I’m sorry that I don’t. I can get someone else for you. Just tell me what you need, and I’ll do it.”
You wait for him to say he wants Penelope or JJ, but it doesn’t come. Nothing comes. You start to move to get up, figuring you could clean up a bit and try to make him something to eat, then go, but he grasps your arm before you can.
He looks up at you, and his eyes hit you right in the gut. They’re bloodshot and sunken but still beautiful.
“Stay. Please. I just- I need to know I’m not dreaming. I keep thinking I’m dreaming.”
His voice is croaky from disuse and breaks at the end, but it’s so heartbreakingly earnest that you feel your breath catch. You move from your crouch and sit beside him on the couch; your hand is still in his.
You stay like that for a long time. His breathing is shakey and uneven, and every so often, his body shakes with what you can only assume are sobs. You stay pressed to his side the whole time, thumb rubbing back and forth over his hand.
Eventually, you speak again, “I’m gonna get you some food, Spence. You should eat.”
He says nothing back, but he does loosen his grip. You push yourself up from the coach with a promise you’ll be as fast as possible.
His kitchen is nearly empty, and you hope he’s been eating from the baskets. Still, you find enough to make noodles and butter, and you figure the carbs should help his energy some.
You return with the bowl. Spencer hasn’t moved, but his head follows you as you walk back over to him.
“It’s not fine dining.”
He studied you for a second, and you catch a glimpse of the old him in his eye.
“You did the same thing when I was sick on a case a year ago.”
You smile at his recollection.
“It helped you then.”
The rest of the night is spent mostly in silence. Occasionally, you tell him something to try to remind him that you’re there and that you won’t leave as long as he wants you there. Eventually, you get up from the couch again.
“Spencer, it’s too late to still be awake.”
He nods and still says nothing, but he is far more receptive than before. You reach your hand out to him to help him up from the couch, and he takes it.
He leads you to his room at a slow pace. His head stays down as you both take a seat on his bed, hands still interlocked. Being in his bedroom is odd for you. You’ve been to his apartment quite a few times before he disappeared from your life, but you never breached this space. It’s all very him. Almost surprisingly cozy, with books scattered around nearly everywhere there’s space.
You take in the moment for a beat before saying, “I’m gonna head home, Spencer, but please call me if you need anything at all. I’ll come back tomorrow.”
This makes his head snap up, and his eyes lock with yours.
“Please stay.”
That’s all he says, but every part of him is pleading with you. It’s not a good idea, and you know it. You’re the only person he’s seen in days, you aren’t close anymore, and you don’t particularly want to sleep on a couch tonight.
“Spencer, I don’t want to sleep in your living room tonight. I’ll come back.”
He pauses for a moment, “You can stay here with me. I don’t want to be alone.”
Your heart cracks again. There was a time when this was all you wanted. It’s still, deep down, all you want, just not like this. You know he doesn’t really want you there and he’s not himself. But you aren’t strong enough to say no, so you don’t.
He gets you clothes to wear, and you change in his bathroom. You come out and find him in his bed, laying with his back to you. You have no fucking idea what you’re doing, but you get into bed next to him anyways. There are a thousand thoughts racing through your head, but the prevailing one is how badly you want to touch him, to hold him, to make him forget, just for the night. You stay still, though, confined to the edge of the bed and start to count to drown out the noise.
Though, you can’t drown out his voice, saying, “Can- Could you hold me? I think that everything feels better when you touch me.”
Another crack. By the end of this, you know Spencer Reid is going to break your heart all over again.
~
When you wake up the next morning, Spencer is still asleep. You sneak out of his room and call Hotch. When he answers, you tell him Spencer has let you in, and you ask for time off to try to help. You can tell from his voice that he doesn’t think it’s a good idea, but he grants you it anyway.
Much of your day is spent like the night before. You stay next to Spencer, and you cook for him after leaving to pick up clothes and groceries. Then, you get him to shower and wash his hair. He sleeps with his head in your lap, and you feel like a fucking idiot at first, but as long as it’s helping him in some way, you let it happen.
That’s the thing: you don’t really know how to help him. You know he isn’t the type to talk about something until he is entirely ready, so all you can do is add something domestic and bright to his life while he grieves. It’s all you can think about in the moments of silence. Hell, you even read to him to try and get your mind off of it, but it barely helps.
The night is the same. You change in different rooms and slip into his bed at different times. You feel dirty for imagining what it would be like if the circumstances were different: if he wanted you like you have wanted him for the past two years. You hold him against you, and you pray for sign that you should be there.
The sign comes the following morning when Derek calls you.
“Y/n…”
You can hear his teasing tone over the phone.
“Hi, Derek.”
“What are you doing, mamas?”
You sigh, “What do you mean?”
You’re playing coy. You know he’s wondering why you’re at Spencer’s house, picking up the pieces, but you won’t be the one to bring it up.
“Why’d you ask Hotch for the week off, Y/n?”
Another sigh, “You know why, Derek. I just, I want to help him.”
“I know you do, Y/n, I know.”
He pauses for a moment, and you let the moment fill with silence.
“I know you care about him. We all care about him. But who is taking care of you?”
“I am. I can take care of him, and I can take care of me.”
“I know you can, but I don’t want you to get hurt, Y/n. Don’t let this be something that hurts you.”
“It won’t. I- You have to- Fuck, I’ll be fine. He’s not fine. I don’t care about me or any feelings that may get hurt right now. I’ll be fine.”
There’s another bear of silence, “Okay, Y/n. Just know you’re allowed to tap out.”
You try to think of anything else to say, but nothing comes, so you say your goodbyes.
You won’t need to tap out. You can take care of him and be good to him and ignore the other feelings you have. You can be good.
The call does make you think it’s time to push, to try harder, to help him get better. So, you approach him that day before bed, before he tucks himself into your arms and falls into a fretful sleep.
“Spencer?”
He takes a moment and then responds, “Yes?”
“You have to talk about it. I think that you need to talk about it. It doesn’t have to be to me but to someone.”
He’s quiet for a long time, and your breath is caught in your throat, waiting for him to say anything.
“I- I don’t want to,” his voice cracks while he says it.
“Spence, you can’t come back if you don’t. You can’t move forward if you don’t.”
“Maybe I don’t want to.”
A ringing echos in your ears.
“You don’t mean that. She- she would want you to keep going.”
Wrong thing to say.
“You don’t know anything about what she would want.”
He’s seething now, below the surface, but smoke has started to plume from his ears. Still, you don’t stop.
“Spencer, everyone knows that. No one would want you to put your life on hold.”
He speaks his next line through his teeth, “You don’t know anything, Y/n.”
You’ve never heard him sound so angry.
“Spencer-“
“No, just stop. You don’t know her. You don’t know me half as well as you think you do. You don’t know anything. I don’t even know why you’re here. I don’t want you here. You can't be what I need.”
The ringing in your ears is louder.
“Spencer, please. Just-“
“No!” His voice is raised now, bordering on a yell, “I don’t want you here. I want you out, Y/n.”
This has to be what shell shock feels like. The ringing, the tingle in your limbs, and the heat in your face. You don’t know how you are moving, but you are.
His voice is echoing in your head, or maybe he’s still talking, but you can’t tell either way. The only thing you can focus on is how Spencer sounded like he hates you and that Morgan was right about the hurt.
~
You spend the next day trying desperately to shut down the noise in your head. It doesn’t work. The day after is the same. And the days following that. You ignore calls when they come, you ignore the texts, but you can’t stop looking at your phone for a message from the man who fills your thoughts.
Spencer doesn’t call, obviously, and you have to sit with a pit in your stomach while you beg yourself to just get the fuck over it. Two years of reckoning with the severity of your love, months of watching him live happily without you, and it’s the three days you spent trying to help him feel incrementally better that floor you.
You feel like a dumb teenage girl with so much love and nothing to do with it. On top of everything, you feel selfish. Spencer lost the love of his life forever, and you’re nursing the worst heartbreak of your life because a boy will never want you and never has. Still, you send out prayers for him over and over. You hope you’ll see him in the BAU again, even if his eyes glaze over you. Hell, even if they look at you with hate the way they did two days ago. You just want him to function. You want him to be good and eventually be happy. You try to go to bed with soothing thoughts, but you end up with a mantra of his name.
You wake to your alarm and dress for work before you realize you aren’t actually supposed to go back yet. You never set a date to return. You wanted to be open as long as Spencer needed you. You’re supposed to be with him. You’re supposed to be helping and not tapping out. But you aren’t.
You have no reason not to return to the bullpen, so you do. You walk in and feel eyes on you. You wait for Morgan to call out to you, but he doesn’t, so you follow the feeling.
Your breath catches in your throat; it’s Spencer. He’s sitting at his desk, paperwork spread out, and he doesn’t look away from your gaze; he just holds it. His face is unreadable, and yours is definitely not, so you look away first. You don’t look up again until you reach Hotch’s office. You knock and hear him call out to come in.
“I’m back if that’s okay.”
He looks up at you, and you want to cry. You know he can read you. He has always been the best at it.
“Are you okay with that, Y/l/n?”
You lock eyes with him, “Yes, sir.”
It’s no use; he knows your tells and you aren’t being honest.
“Alright, conference room in five.”
Whatever he sees in your face, he ignores and takes you at your word, but there’s a warning in his tone. He knows when to let things go and when to push. More than that, though, he knows you’d never let something like this affect your work.
~
The first case back is in Maryland, and the one after is in Austin, and the next is in Philadelphia with The Replicator. The job takes you all over the country, and the cases blend together. You don’t speak to Spencer through all of it. You’re never partnered, never work together, you sit on opposite ends of the jet. You don’t even speak at Strauss’ funeral. It’s radio silent, and everyone notices it, but no one brings it up.
In that time, you allow yourself to slip away slightly. You don’t go out with the team, you see Pen at nearly half frequency, and basically, the only time you speak is on cases. It’s stupid and melodramatic, but you call it healing. Derek tries to reason with you, JJ sticks to you a bit more than usual, and Penelope calls you virtually whenever she can, but their efforts are mostly in vain. This is your way of protecting yourself. You feel like you have to isolate in order to improve, and you know, given time, you will come back to yourself.
Penelope’s insistence that you go to her Day of the Dead celebration breaks your distance.
“Y/n, please come. I know you aren’t going out, but you have to. I know you have people to honor, and I need you there.”
You sigh, “Whose going, Pen?”
“The team, which you are a part of, so you must be there.”
“I don’t think I can do that. I promise you I will celebrate with you. I’ll help you set up, just please don’t make me go.”
Penelope pauses, but the glint in her eye keys you into the fact that she is not interested in giving up.
“We miss you, Y/n. Everyone loves you and misses you. You’ve been living this stupid, isolated life, and it’s time for you to come back. You are not this person. I refuse to believe it. You’re coming, and that’s final.”
Maybe you don’t have the energy to argue, or maybe you know she’s right, but you agree to go.
~
The thought of seeing him makes your heart race, and the clock you keep glancing at makes it worse. Just a few more hours before you're trapped in a confined space (Pen’s beautiful home) with a man you haven’t spoken to in weeks.
You busy yourself with preparing. Lights are hung, food is made, and you make a trip to the store while Pen sets up her remembrance table. When everything is said and done, you can’t help but feel this is the most beautiful thing you’ve been a part of in a long time.
The first knock comes at 7:30 exactly, and it’s Hotch and Rossi. They are followed closely by Blake, then Derek and JJ. By 7:00, the atmosphere is light and loving, and you feel a bit of your anxiety let up as the minutes go by without Reid. But, eventually, the knock comes, of course it does, and you move into a corner as Spencer walks in. You feel a shift in energy, though you doubt it’s palpable for anyone else. Rossi is the first to make his way over to you, and his presence comforts you nearly immediately.
“How you doing, kid?” His voice is soft like he’s speaking to a scared rabbit.
“I’m better,” you say, and it’s about as honest as you can get. As much as you’d like to think he knows nothing about what’s gone on, you’re smarter than that. He’s the best profiler on the team, and he’s always known when someone was off with you. Even so, you are better than you were, even if you aren’t quite good, and you know he believes you.
There’s some idle conversation between you before he asks, “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not tonight. I don’t know when, but I will. Eventually, I will.”
It’s good enough for him, and you move on easily, which surprises you.
Right before Pen gathers you all to present your photos, he says, “Sometimes we think we’ve seen the whole picture, but we miss a big part. People do things because they don’t want to be hurt, but those things hurt them more. Just, be open.”
You don’t quite understand what he means, but you hope you will.
Penelope presents the first picture, which shows her parents. JJ honors her sister, Derek, his dad, Hotch Haley, and Rossi, Hernandez; then it’s your turn. You place down a photo of your best friend. You hadn’t talked much about her, but you think of her daily. She passed a few years before you joined the BAU.
“I was lucky to have someone that hurt that much to lose.”
That’s all you say, but it’s enough for you, and it would be enough for her.
Spencer is last. He places down a picture of Tesla and a picture of Maeve. Your heart is heavy for everyone.
The night dwindles from there. Hotch and Rossi say their goodbyes, and Rossi gives you a knowing look as he leaves. You just smile. You stay for a few minutes after, but eventually, you move to leave as well.
You make it down Garcia’s porch before you feel a hand grab your arm. You turn, and it’s Spencer’s face you see.
“Would you- Do you think you could come over? Do you think we could talk?”
~
The feeling you have walking up to Spencer's apartment is similar to what you felt the last time. You’re incredibly anxious, but at least you know you’ll be let in this time.
The drive over was silent. Spencer had taken the metro to Penelope’s, so he rode with you. It wasn’t necessarily awkward. There was just an understanding that the car wasn’t the place to begin your conversation.
Now, as Spencer unlocked his door, it’s one of those rare moments you felt starved for words, and you know it’s because you’re scared you’ll say the wrong thing and face the same reaction that you did the last time you were in his home.
He leads you to his living room and motions for you to sit, and you do. The two of you are on opposite ends of his couch while you wait for him to say something.
His first words are airy and light, “Thank you for letting me talk to you.”
You look at him but remain silent, waiting for him to go on. All you can think about is why he wants to speak to you at all. The last time you spoke, he made it incredibly clear he did not want you in his life or around him at all.
Before you can think about it more and let your anger and sadness build, he speaks again, “I feel really stupid right now. I kind of feel stupid whenever I’m around you recently.”
He pauses momentarily before going on, “I’m so, so sorry, Y/n. About the last time we spoke. I’ve been thinking about it pretty constantly for the past few weeks.”
You open your mouth, unsure of what exactly to say, but you can’t get there before he’s off again.
“I’m not sure how to talk to you anymore. I don’t think I’ve known how to for a long time. I just, I need you to know how sorry I am for speaking to you like that.”
He takes a shakey breath but keeps going, “That wasn’t me, and that isn’t how I feel. I’m just unbelievably sorry, Y/n.”
He stops there, and you work to collect your thoughts.
“I know. A part of me knows, at least, that you didn’t mean it. I just wanted to be there for you, and hearing that made me- I just- I think it made me hate myself for wanting to be there.”
“I’m so sorry. I’m unbelievably sorry.”
“You didn’t talk to me for months, Spencer. I just don’t understand. I don’t understand why you let me in in the first place. I thought you hated me.”
He’s silent for a long minute.
“I never hated you, Y/n. I just stopped knowing how to act around you, and then I met Maeve. I fell so deep into it that I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. I- And I just started to feel like you didn’t want me to speak to you, so I didn’t. But, when you came here, after everything, I guess I just felt like you were the only person who would get it. You never, no one on the team ever treated me or talked to me how you did. I just wanted that.”
Tears had begun to well in your eyes now. A part of you gets what he means, at least about letting you in, but the other part is so confused as to why he stopped being comfortable around you.
“I don’t understand, Spencer. Why did you stop knowing how to be around me?”
There’s desperation in your voice that makes you sound like a stranger to yourself. Maybe you’re a stranger to everyone right now.
“I uh, I don’t really know.”
“That's not fair, Spence.”
You’re crying now. Just a little bit, but you can feel the wetness on your cheeks. You can see that you are by the look on his face. He looks broken, and you know it's a reflection of your own image.
You wipe your face, “Thank you for apologizing, Spencer. I just, there are parts of this all that I don’t understand, and if you can't explain them to me, I don’t think I ever will.”
“Y/n-,” he calls out your name like a prayer.
“It’s okay, Spence. You don’t have to say anything more. We talked, and things will go back to how they were eventually.”
“I’m so sorry, Y/n.”
You smile sadly as you get up to leave.
“I am, too, for what it's worth. For whatever I did to make things change in the first place.”
You leave it at that, and it takes everything in you not to look back as you leave his apartment.
~
Things do get easier after that. Not completely. You still love him, and it hurts, but it helps to know he doesn’t hate you. He talks to you some, cordial things, and you do the same. You're sure your teammates still sense something is off, but this works for you. Right now, it works. Getting over him, not loving him anymore, is going to take work, but eventually, you know that you won’t hurt anymore.
Shortly after you and him talked, you started going back out with your friends. Spencer joined periodically, but that was normal. Bars were never really his scene.
Tonight, everyone gathers at your local pub. Your last case was particularly grueling, and you all need a way to blow off some steam. It's fun, and you feel good, even with Spencer sitting across from you. You feel proud of yourself for getting to this point.
JJ and Penelope feed you drinks to try and get you to dance, and you let them. Tonight feels as good of a night as any to ‘get back out there’ as Pen says. So, you do. You dance with them, and you ward off the other cops and agents around you who try to pull you away from your group. You aren’t interested in that. Right now, you're just having an appropriate amount of fun for a woman 15 feet from her boss.
Time goes by quickly, and by the time you get back to the table, you, Derek, Penelope, and JJ remain. He tells you that Hotch, Rossi, Reid, and Alex left a few minutes before. The conversation between you flows for a while, up until the drinks loosen Penelope up enough to bring up what you were pretty sure the team designated a no-no topic.
“Y/n, you have to talk about it.”
You’re still laughing as something Derek said when you reply, “What?”
“You know what. You and Boy-Genius. What on Earth happened? You went from ice-cold to semi-friendly. None of us saw it coming.”
“Babygirl-,” Derek tries to stop her, but you cut him off.
“No, it’s okay. I have to talk about it at some point, and I think right now is the only time I’ll be tipsy enough to let you get it out of me.”
You're still laughing slightly, but the pit that's lived in your stomach for the past few months starts to rear its head.
“After your Day of the Dead party, he asked to talk to me. I went to his place, and he apologized. I don’t really understand what he said or what he meant, but I can’t be sad about him forever.”
Pen perks up a bit at that, “I knew that party would bring good things!”
You giggle a bit at her outburst, but then JJ asks, “What did he say?”
The faces around you all tune in at that. You know they don’t see this as gossip. They care about you both too much to trivialize it like that.
“He just said that he stopped knowing how to act around me, and he didn’t know why, but then he met Maeve, and I guess it didn’t matter so much after that. He was my best friend, and then he was nothing.”
JJ shares a glance with Derek and then speaks, “Oh, Y/n.”
“What?”
After a beat, Derek says, “He didn’t just not know how to act around you.”
Now you're confused, “What do you mean? I talked to him, that's what he said. He didn’t know why. I mean, he knows everything and didn’t know why he didn’t want to be around me anymore. How fucking stupid is that.”
You laugh again, but it does come off as genuine in the slightest.
“Y/n, he probably doesn’t really know why. At least not fully. For someone as smart as he is, the kid can be really stupid.”
“Stop being cryptic.”
Derek sighs but goes on, “Pretty girl, pretty boy was in love with you. Probably still is. He just didn’t think you’d ever feel the same.”
“No. That's not true.”
You look at the others around you, but their faces are serious.
“He loved Maeve. He loves Maeve. That, that doesn’t make any sense.”
It's JJ’s turn to talk now.
“He definitely did love Maeve, no one is denying that, but we all saw how he was around you. His whole relationship with her was safe. He couldn’t be hurt by her rejection every day because he had no way of seeing her. With you, he could.”
Your mind is moving a mile a minute, “Did he tell you guys this?”
Penelope puts her hand over yours and says, “He didn’t have to, love. We all say the way he looked at you and acted around you. The way he talked about you. That boy was head over heels.”
“Guys, I appreciate whatever you’re trying to do, but this isn’t real. Spencer doesn’t- this is not real.”
“Y/n, pause. Think about the way he acted around you, the things he said. Think about how Reid is.”
You hear what Derek said, but it all sounds faint like someone stuffed your ears with cotton while you weren't paying attention. All you can focus on are the different scenes running through your head, the scenes of your life with Spencer in it. How he memorized your coffee order and brought it for you every day, how he never shied away from your touch despite his aversion to contact, how he consistently went out of his way to protect you on the field. At his house after everything, the way he clung to you and wanted to be held. How he said in his own words, “You can't be what I need”; not “you aren’t,” but “you can’t.”
Your whole world is crashing down in this bar, and you can’t do anything to stop it.
“Y/n?”
JJ’s voice snaps you out of your spiral.
“Just go talk to him.”
You nod mutely, and you get up.
~
Everything in the last ten months of your life has led you to the exact spot you were when everything blew up in the first place: Spencer’s door.
This time, you aren't too worried about him not letting you in. If anything, it's the opposite. Him opening this door could open a hundred others, and you don’t quite know if you are ready for any of them. You sit there and sit there and sit there, trying to work up the courage to knock, though you aren’t sure it's there to begin with. Right as you're about to walk away and decide you’ll come back another day, his door swings open.
“Y/n?”
His face is lit up with shock, and you notice his hand that is not on the door is holding his pistol.
“What are you doing here?”
You don’t answer, “Why did you open the door?”
He sets his piece down on the entry table before responding, “I heard footsteps in the hall and saw they stopped here. I was anxious. 50.3% of home invasions happen between 8:00 pm and 7:00 am.” He cuts himself off there, “Y/n, why are you here?”
You didn’t pay attention to anything he said. All you could think about was the way his lips were moving and the way his eyes locked onto yours as he talked.
“Do you love me?”
That is not what you wanted to say.
His lips fall open as he takes in a sharp breath, “What?”
“Or I guess did you love me? Before everything? Because Derek and JJ and Pen, they all said that you loved me, and now I can’t think about anything else, Spencer.”
He doesn’t speak, but you don't really give him a chance to.
“I just, I know I sound crazy right now, but I feel fucking crazy. I keep going over everything in my head, and I have been, for the past year I have been, but now it’s all different. It's all different because they said that you loved me, but you didn’t think I’d feel the same way.”
Here, you do pause, but he still doesn’t say anything, so you go on before you can stop yourself.
“Because if that's true, Spencer, it's just- I did. I do. And if it's not, then please just tell me so I can stop feeling this way.”
He sounds resigned when he says, “Y/n,” and you feel like you know what that means.
“Fuck, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I'm doing this. You don’t have to say anything. Actually, please don’t say anything. I don't think I can hear it. Just pretend I never-”
He cuts off your ramble, “Y/n, stop.”
You draw your eyes from the floor, look up at him, and find something in his gaze you have never seen before. He doesn’t say anything, just stares at you, and it takes everything you have not to look away. His hand raises to cup your jaw, and your skin lights on fire. Before you can process what he’s doing, you feel his lips press against yours, and something clicks. At first, his touch is light, like he’s giving you the chance to pull away. But, when he grasps that you won’t, he presses himself to you harder, and all you can think about is how nothing has ever felt so right.
His lips move against yours, and you don’t know how you're managing to reciprocate because it feels like everything in your body has gone fuzzy. The kiss is by no means long, but it feels like it lasts forever, and by the time he pulls away, you’re breathless.
His forehead stays connected to yours, and he whispers, “I do, Y/n, love you. I have.”
You don’t feel the tears on your cheeks until he’s wiping them away.
“Oh, Y/n.”
“Did you know? That you did? Is that why…”
You trail off, hoping he’ll pick up on what you're asking, and he does.
“I didn’t at first, or I didn’t realize I was falling in love with you until it happened. I got scared, so I ran. I just never thought that you could feel the same or that I was hurting you. I didn’t realize that. I just thought I was doing what was best for us. I felt guilty for being in love with my best friend.”
“And Maeve?”
“I loved Maeve. I’ll always have love for her. I was trying to move on, and I thought I could eventually be with her and be around you without it hurting. I wish I would have told you this before.”
“You’re telling me now. That's enough.”
This time, it's you who pushes your lips to meet his. Your arms snake around his neck, and his fall to your waist. You follow when he pulls you into his apartment and closes the door. There is still pain on both sides, but you can feel it dissipating as you cling to each other. You’re just two broken people who have finally found a way to each other.
This kiss is different, hungrier. Neither of you pulls away for longer than a few seconds as you navigate your way from his entryway to his couch. Every touch is desperate like you're searching for something you never knew existed until now. His hands pull you closer and closer until he's pulling you on top of him, and each of your legs rests on opposite sides of his hips.
Your lips break from his for a moment, “What do you want, Spence?”
His reply is instant, “You.”
From there, things move faster. Your hands unbutton his shirt and push it from his shoulders while he undoes your pants. There are moments of awkwardness that come with exploring another for the first time, but it feels good. His hands trace over your hips and push further until you're left on top of him in only your underwear and bra. He takes you in like you are something to be marveled at, and you know your eyes reflect the same adoration.
You raise yourself off of him and work to get him in the same state of undress as you, and when you position yourself on top of him, you feel his length press against your center. The two thin layers of fabric do little to hinder the intensity as you rock into him. He lets out quiet moans at the action as his lips trace down your neck and over your collarbone.
His breath ghosts over you and makes you shiver when he asks, “Can I touch you?”
“Please.”
His hand moves between the two of you, and his fingers find your clit easily, rubbing circles over the fabric of your panties. You pant his name against his lips at the action. You feel like your whole body is lit up, and under any other circumstance, you'd feel embarrassed at how worked up you are, but you can’t seem to care.
After a few moments, he lifts you up and carries you to his bedroom. From there, he positions you below him on the bed, removing your remaining clothes in the same motion. The new setup lets you grip him, and he feels big in your hand. His fingers resume their previous assault before dipping down into you. You cry out at the feeling of him inside you, slowly pushing in and out, finding a spot that makes your legs start to shake. He’s relentless in his pursuit and all you can muster up the energy to say is his name.
“You’re so beautiful, Y/n.”
It's somewhere between a whimper and a whisper, but the sound of his voice causes you to clench around his fingers.
He picks up on this, of course he does, and quickens his pace as he coos at you.
“So pretty like this. I’m so lucky.”
You’re embarrassingly close already, so when he moves his thumb over your clit to rub circles as he fucks into you with his fingers, you come undone almost instantly with a warning and cry of his name. He works you through your orgasm, all while whispering praise in your ear. Once you come down from your high, you start to push his boxers down his legs, but he stops you before you can fully.
“We don’t have to do anything more, Y/n. I liked just making you feel good.”
“I want more. I want to feel you if you want that too.”
“Of course I do. I just don’t want you to regret anything.”
“I couldn’t regret this, Spencer. I love you. I want all of you.”
It's the first time you’ve actually said those three words to him, and it feels so fucking good to say.
“I love you, too. God, so much.”
With that, he positions himself back on top of you, running his fingers over your slit gently before gripping himself.
“Do you have a condom?”
“I might somewhere, but I have an IUD, and I’m clean. I can try to find one if you’re more comfortable with that?”
“IUDs have a failure rate of around .05% and are largely considered the most effective form of birth control, so uh, as long as you're okay with it, I am.”
You smile to yourself at his statistic but nod, “I want to feel you, Spencer.”
He returns your smile before rubbing his length over your entrance a few times and slowly pushing himself into you just slightly. He teases you, or maybe himself, for a moment before fully entering you. You push your hips up to meet his, and feeling him in his entirety makes your jaw fall open. He’s big, and you feel unbelievably full.
He waits a moment for you to adjust before he starts to develop a rhythm. His hands are everywhere, but his eyes are focused solely on your face like he doesn’t want to miss a moment of your reaction to him inside of you. To be fair, you are probably putting on a good show. Every movement he makes hits you in exactly the right spot, and you don’t think you could be louder if you tried. You can feel the leg he’s not holding up against his shoulder shake against the bed. Your first orgasm has made way for your second to be incredibly close.
“Spencer, please.”
You’re crying out, desperate for a little more to push you over the edge.
“What do you need, baby?” His voice is tight like he’s not far himself, and it sounds better than anything you’ve ever heard.
“Harder. Please, harder.”
He takes your direction immediately, rubbing circles on your clit with one hand while he thrusts into you with a bruising force. He’s fucking you like he wants you to remember the feeling long after he stops, and you know that you will. Everything about it is overwhelming: his smell, his pace, his eyes. You are covered in him, and he is covered in you.
After a moment, the hand he had on your stomach trails up to grasp lightly at your throat, and you fall into feeling. You can’t warn him that you're about to come before you do. The feeling is white hot. Bigger than your first, and the fact that you're coming on him sends you into overdrive. You can feel his hips falter for a moment, but you're lost in a daze, crying out his name.
He pumps into you a few more times before he follows suit. He pulls out, and you feel stripes of his come paint your cunt and lower stomach as he finishes with a moan of your name.
He falls next to you on the bed, and it takes you both a few moments to collect yourselves and catch your breath.
Once you do, the only thing you can think to say is, “I love you.”
It feels like those are the only words circling around in your head at the moment. Some mixture of his name and that declaration. While you know you each said it before, that your profession was the exigence of the sex you just had, it feels uniquely vulnerable to say now. It’s like the moment you just had together could have changed things or made him realize that he doesn’t actually love you after all.
That shoe doesn’t drop, though. Instead, you hear the three words echoed back to you by a man who, 6 hours ago, you thought would never, ever say them.
You turn to face him, and the love on his face feels like it could knock you out. He’s looking at you and smiling in a way you haven't seen in a long time.
“Will you let me clean you up?”
You know that part of the reason he’s asking has something to do with the likelihood of bacteria growth or something like that, but you think it's mainly that he wants to take care of you. Him wetting a rag and running it over you feels intimate in a different way, in an excruciatingly gentle way. Personal in a way that makes you feel like nothing between you could ever be wrong again, and maybe that's naive to think, but you feel hopeful regardless.
Once he finishes, he takes his space back next to you in the bed. This time, he pulls you into his arms, and it's different than it was all those months ago. This time, you know that he won’t push you away and that you won't hurt yourself by being next to him. This time, you just tuck yourself into him, and you let him whisper sweet nothings into your ear as you begin to drift off. This time, it feels like peace.
~
The following day, you wake up to Spencer still next to you, looking incredibly soft in the early morning light. You search for a moment to find your phone in the piles of clothes and are greeted with a text from Pen.
How did it go????
You smile before turning your phone off and climbing back into bed next to the man you love. It couldn’t have gone better.
-
all done! yay!!!
i hope you guys love it!! i’m not 100% happy with the ending but i’ve been writing this for so long and just needed to be done.
this is my first time writing angst on here and my longest fic, so PLEASE tell me what you think! all (nice) feedback is welcome and i love to hear from you guys!! :)
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callsigns-haze · 3 days
Note
Request
Could you do one with Tylerxfemale reader where it’s her birthday and she thinks Tyler forgot but secretly he is planning a special night for her. You can do it with or without tornados causing chaos.
Happy Birthday
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Pairing: Tyler Owens x Reader
Summary: Tyler surprises Y/N with a secret birthday celebration after she thinks he forgot, turning her day into an unforgettable memory filled with love and joy.
Warning: Contains emotional moments and romantic surprises.
The morning sun filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow over the bedroom as Y/N slowly woke up. She stretched lazily, her mind still groggy from sleep. It took a moment for her to remember what day it was—her birthday. A smile spread across her face as she imagined how the day would go. Tyler had always been good at making her feel special, and she couldn’t wait to see what he had planned.
But as the minutes ticked by, the smile began to fade. Tyler wasn’t in bed beside her. The usual smell of freshly brewed coffee and breakfast wasn’t wafting through the air. The apartment was eerily quiet. Y/N sat up, frowning. Maybe he was just running late?
She slipped out of bed, wrapping herself in a cozy robe, and padded out to the kitchen. It was empty, and the counter was bare. No pancakes, no birthday card, nothing. A small pang of disappointment tugged at her heart. Had Tyler really forgotten her birthday?
Just as the thought crossed her mind, her phone buzzed on the counter. She picked it up, hoping for a text from Tyler, but it was just a reminder for an appointment later in the week. Sighing, she set the phone back down and tried to shake off the feeling of unease. Tyler was probably just busy. He’d remember—he had to.
Y/N decided to make herself some breakfast, trying to keep her spirits up. She couldn’t let a little forgetfulness ruin her day. But as the morning turned into afternoon, there was still no word from Tyler. He hadn’t even sent a text. The disappointment grew stronger, making it harder to enjoy her day.
By mid-afternoon, Y/N was curled up on the couch, watching TV but not really paying attention. She was lost in thought, trying to understand why Tyler, who was usually so thoughtful, would forget something as important as her birthday.
As she was contemplating whether to reach out to him or not, the front door creaked open. Y/N turned her head, seeing Tyler walk in with a casual smile, as if it were any other day.
“Hey, babe,” he greeted, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead. “How’s your day going?”
Y/N tried to hide her disappointment but couldn’t keep the hurt out of her voice. “It’s fine. Just… another day.”
Tyler looked at her with a slight frown. “You okay? You seem a little down.”
She bit her lip, debating whether to say something. After a moment, she decided to just ask. “Did you… forget what today is?”
Tyler’s expression remained neutral, but there was a hint of confusion in his eyes. “What do you mean?”
Y/N’s heart sank. “It’s my birthday, Tyler.”
His eyes widened in realization. “Oh, God, Y/N… I’m so sorry. I’ve been so caught up with work that I—” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean to make you feel forgotten.”
Y/N nodded, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. “It’s okay, I just thought—”
Before she could finish her sentence, Tyler pulled her into a tight hug, pressing his lips against her hair. “I’m so sorry, babe. Let me make it up to you.”
She hugged him back, feeling a bit better in his arms, but the sadness still lingered. “It’s fine, really. I just wanted to spend the day with you.”
He pulled back slightly, cupping her face in his hands. “And we will. How about we go out for dinner? Anywhere you want, my treat.”
Y/N forced a smile and nodded. “That sounds nice.”
Tyler smiled back, but there was something in his eyes, a flicker of something Y/N couldn’t quite place. Before she could dwell on it, he kissed her softly, then stood up. “Why don’t you go get ready? I’ll make a reservation at your favorite place.”
Y/N agreed, heading to the bedroom to change. As she picked out a dress, she tried to shake off the lingering disappointment. Tyler was trying to make up for it, and that’s what mattered.
A couple of hours later, Y/N and Tyler arrived at the restaurant. It was a cozy, intimate place that they often went to for special occasions. The hostess greeted them warmly and led them to a table near the back, away from the noise of the main dining area.
Tyler was being extra attentive, pulling out her chair for her and making sure she was comfortable. He even ordered her favorite wine, trying to make up for the morning. But despite his efforts, Y/N couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. The day had just started on the wrong foot, and it was hard to get back into the celebratory mood.
As they waited for their food, Tyler kept the conversation light, asking about her day and sharing stories from work. But there was still that flicker of something in his eyes, something that made Y/N feel like he was holding back.
Just as she was about to ask him what was going on, the waiter arrived with their meals. Y/N’s plate was placed in front of her, but instead of the usual entrée she expected, there was a small envelope sitting on the edge of the plate.
She frowned in confusion and looked up at Tyler, who was watching her with a knowing smile. “What’s this?” she asked, picking up the envelope.
“Open it,” he said, leaning back in his chair with a grin.
Y/N hesitated for a moment before carefully opening the envelope. Inside was a small, handwritten note that simply said, Turn around.
Her heart skipped a beat as she looked up at Tyler, who nodded toward the door behind her. Slowly, she turned in her chair and gasped.
Standing in the doorway was a small group of her closest friends and family, all holding balloons, flowers, and gifts. They were smiling brightly, and behind them, a banner hung with the words Happy Birthday, Y/N!
Tears filled her eyes as she turned back to Tyler, who was now grinning from ear to ear. “You… you planned this?”
He stood up and walked around the table to her, pulling her into his arms. “Of course I did. I would never forget your birthday, babe. I wanted to surprise you.”
Y/N laughed through her tears, hugging him tightly. “You sneaky, sneaky man. I really thought you forgot.”
Tyler pulled back slightly to look into her eyes, brushing a tear from her cheek. “I wanted to make sure you had a birthday to remember. And I wanted to do it right.”
The rest of the evening was a blur of laughter, hugs, and heartfelt wishes. Y/N’s friends and family filled the room with love, making her feel special in a way she hadn’t expected. Tyler was by her side the entire time, his earlier act of forgetfulness completely forgiven.
As the night wound down and the restaurant began to empty, Tyler took Y/N’s hand and led her outside to a quiet corner of the patio. The stars were shining brightly above, and the cool night air was refreshing after the warmth of the celebration.
Tyler turned to her, a serious expression on his face. “There’s one more thing,” he said softly.
Y/N looked up at him in surprise. “Tyler, you’ve already done so much…”
He shook his head, pulling a small velvet box from his pocket. “This is for you,” he said, holding it out to her.
Her breath caught in her throat as she took the box, her hands trembling slightly. She opened it slowly, revealing a delicate necklace with a pendant shaped like a small heart. Inside the heart was a tiny, sparkling diamond.
“Tyler,” she whispered, her voice choked with emotion. “It’s beautiful.”
He gently took the necklace from the box and fastened it around her neck. “I wanted to give you something to remind you of how much I love you, every day.”
Y/N touched the pendant, her heart swelling with love for the man standing in front of her. “I love you so much, Tyler. Thank you for making this the best birthday ever.”
He smiled, pulling her into a slow, tender kiss. “Happy birthday, Y/N,” he murmured against her lips.
As they stood there under the stars, wrapped in each other’s arms, Y/N knew that this was a day she would never forget. Tyler had given her not just a birthday to remember, but a love that would last a lifetime.
tagging some:
@senawashere
@saviorcomplexrry
@cevansbaby-dove
@saynotononsense
@missdottie
@willowisp7
@taorislover94
@eloquenceinpurple
@86laura11
@rosiahills22
@jessicab1991
@kmc1989
@shanimallina87
@eternalsams
@teen-antisocial
@katiemcrae
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aroaceleovaldez · 1 day
Note
full on feel like pjo tv s2 is not gonna hold up so they need to drag as much attention to the series as they can by using nico as a sock puppet w tsats2
im fully expecting the show to go the way of the movies. it doesnt help Sea of Monsters is almost unanimously the least favorite book of the first series. People frequently forget it even exists or what happens in it, especially more casual fans.
Heck, just look at how little fanfare the second season has gotten so far as compared to the build up to s1. I wouldn't be surprised if s2 totally flops. It would be a little funny.
#pjo#riordanverse#pjo tv#pjo tv crit#tsats 2#Anonymous#ask#im still sad theyre beating every dead horse in the franchise they can EXCEPT for the graphic novels#the poor graphic novels arent getting advertised AT ALL and the BoO one got cancelled#like. the graphic novels would actually be probably one of the best advertising avenues!#like. hey! you dont need to write a whole new book! just remind people of previous books and give them a way to refresh on it#and given how the first couple of graphic novels were a different artists i could totally see them doing a second version#just to make them all consistent. thatd make sense and be reasonable.#the show has also already kind of trapped itself in a corner in a couple of ways#for one they kind of screwed themselves over failing to plan for the actors. yknow. ageing.#Walker is already taller than like. most of the cast. Percy's gonna be TOWERING over Luke by TLO#i think the main trio is all like almost 16 already? and we're only on s2. its gonna be rough. they didnt think about it. they didnt plan.#also with how theyve been messing with plot and characterization theyre VERY quickly going to start running into hurdles#because they dont seem to understand the more you change earlier on. the less the later stuff will work without also needing change#because. it's dependent on what comes before. so we will very quickly be requiring either MASSIVE canon divergence or a lot of retcon#and retcon in the show is going to be VERY OBVIOUS#though i stand by itll be so funny if they solve too much too quickly in s2 just like the movies and it just ends on#''wait. crap. what are we going to do for s3 now. we solved too much too early. they have nothing to do''
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i-starcreamed · 18 hours
Note
Can you write something with D16 and a human reader please? Maybe like seeing a human for the first time and befriending eachother, then the reader develops feelings because I mean....D16 XD (There is literally nothing of transformers one 😭) PS. I don't know why but I feel like transformers one character at least the miners are closer to human height for some reason 🤣 (sorry for yapping I'm obsessed)
D-16 X READER
Ok so…very unrealistic because yknow, no humans on cybertron. However I made up my own scenario :3 in my mind humans reach about to the knees of mine bots. You’ll make it work..
Human! Reader
Dumb fluff, no sad stuff
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Reader is a space explorer who SOMEHOW MAGICALLY managed to successfully land on Cybertron with some of their survival kit intact (food, water, etc). What they didn’t expect was to encounter a train looking vehicle, hopping in it out of curiosity. What they also never expected was the train to start moving at full speed, charging inside of the planet as the crust literally opened up.
Your throat almost went sore because of your screaming.
You shifted, groaning as you sat up from your laying position. God, your head was pounding, what even happened? The ground beneath you was cold and rough, like the texture of popcorn wall if it were made of metal. Around you, you could hear the sound of wheels screeching, metal banging. Whatever you were on was not a smooth ride.
You opened your eyes, your breath hitched as you saw a figure above you. They were looking straight forward, both their hands placed on the edge of the cart. And they were not human. No human is that big.
You swiveled your head around you, seeing a pile of large rocks surrounding you. They were glowing a bright blue, looking quite radioactive. Okay, maybe you and your team expected a tiny bit of life here—but not a whole…whatever this was. You slowly stood up, carefully making your way towards the rock nearest to you. You struggled to move, all the rocks were basically covering your body. The rocks rolled over softly as you lifted an arm.
“Hey there,”
You froze, hearing a deep voice above you. You turned around, eyeing the figure still looking away from you. They looked to their side, mimicking the human expression of curtly smiling and nodding to someone to their right. You sighed in relief.
Placing both your palms on the edge of the cart, you pulled yourself up, letting the rocks fall away from your legs. You peeled your head over the cart, your eyes widening at the life around you. Sooo many robot beings walking around and pushing minecarts, all in different colors and similar size. You let out a small gasp.
D-16 raised a brow, hearing a noise just below him. He did a double take as he saw..something poking out of his cart. He froze. You froze. You both frozed.
“AHH!” You both yelled at the same time, backing away from eachother.
You fall back in between the rocks, probably scraping your back against one. Simotaniously, he bumped into someone’s cart in back of him, he muttered an awkward apology as he hurried along with his cart—he couldn’t let anyone else see this…thing.
He rushed over, taking a sharp turn and away from everyone doing their jobs.
When he stopped, he leaned over his cart to take a good look at you.
“Okay…what! What are you?” He whispered yelled, honestly feeling a bit defensive. You couldn’t blame him, he’s never seen a species like you. Sure, you were smaller. You were about the size of his leg..definitely shorter.
“I uh..I could ask the same thing…” you nervously said.
When you two first met you were very cautious of eachother. You were both scared. I think it took him a while to realize you were from a wholeee different planet. You were a space explorer? That’s cool! He’s definitely going to ask you about cybertrons surface, even though you insist you only saw it for a couple minutes before being kidnapped by a train.
He becomes so interested in you. Eventually, you OF COURSE get introduced to Orion. He had the same reaction, but was equally as intrigued. We all know how much he loves history and learning, they’re both gonna ask so many questions. They do everything to keep you hidden away from other bots, ESPECIALLY DarkWing. Orion has never seen D-16 as enthusiastic about someone as he is about you. (Maybe except for Megatronious)
The three of you are almost always together, but you definitely spend more time with D. Instead of getting rest after a long day in the mines, he takes you around with you sitting atop his shoulder—just talking. Whenever he hears a bot approaching, he quickly snatches you off and holds you behind his back. Definitely not obvious.
Rest in piece to privacy, because you both have NONE! We saw how none of the miners have individual sleeping areas. You have to constantly sneak away—usually it’s places where Orion has taken him. Imagine being taken to their special places :((
You spend longer than you thought on Cybertron, it’s not like you had a choice. Your pod was left on the surface and most definitely scrapped for materials. No one knows who or what and where the mysterious person from the pod is. Lucky you
It’s only logical you begin to fall for D-16. He’s oddly charming, funny, dedicated, and caring. You spend all your time together. He introduced you to his best friend. He tells you about all his plans. Plus, it’s always exciting to go on little trips together, potentially risking getting caught. These trips eventually turn into dates btw
He has definitely called you cute and pet your head with one digit. Yeah that kinda did it, even though he meant it as a tease
You know that scene where the two went racing? They were in first place, they’re exhausted and D got hit. Despite this he grins, looking back at the cameras which he knows are streaming the race. He knows you’re watching all the way from that green light.
“This is for Y/—!!“ he begins, only to be interrupted when a jet zooms past them, knocking them both over and sending them flying. Idiots <3
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megameatymatt · 2 days
Text
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Step By Step - Matt Sturniolo
summary: Matt finds out about y/n's ED relapse
WARNINGS: e@t!ng d!sorder, swearing, throwing up, gagging, crying, self-hatred/insecure, feelings of hopelessness, overthinking
If you or anyone you know is dealing with an ED or substance abuse, call or text:  1-800-662-4357.
word count: 766
requested?: nope
A/N: I was feeling sad so all of you must suffer with me. Feedback, interaction, and requests are appreciated! ok bye
Pink: Y/n
Blue: Matt
------------------------------------------------------------
Matt knows you've dealt with an eating disorder in the past. He wasn't there during it, but you've talked to him about it and answered some of his questions. It didn't make you any less perfect in his eyes. To him, all that mattered was you being okay. But you weren't.
Four years later, you feel like you're falling back into it all over again—all the progress you've made, discarded within just a couple weeks.
You stare at yourself in the mirror and wish someone different stared back at you. You pinch at the skin on your thighs, stomach, and arms and wish the fat would disappear.
You sob silently. How can someone hate themselves so much, How couldn't you hate yourself so much, Y/n? Look at you, just look at you! You're lucky matt even stays. Thoughts circle around your head like a halo. Leaving you in nothing but shatters.
You walk to the toilet, shove a finger down your throat, and gag
The cycle begins.
Two weeks later, you walk into your kitchen to find Matt standing there. "Good morning, angel, I'm making pancakes. How many do you want." The thought of putting food in your mouth makes you sick. "Um, Matt, I'm not hungry." Matt frowns. "You love my pancakes, baby, what's the matter?" you shuffle through your brain, thinking of an excuse. "I'm full from last night, Y'know, the pizza." You, Matt, nick, and Chris had had a movie night. The boys ordered pizza and snuggled up on the couch as you all giggled.
"I watched you the whole night, Y/n, I didn't see you take a single slice," he says, flipping a pancake. "In fact i haven't seen you eat much at all lately, You alright?" Eat? How can he suggest such a thing? doesn't he want me to be pretty? i wanna be good enough to wear a bikini. I wanna be good enough to wear skin tight dresses, i wanna be good enough for him.
You shake away these thoughts trying your best to keep your composure. "I'm good, just give me one okay?" you say letting out a sigh. He smiles "Comin' right up princess" He hands you a plate with a pancake, syrup, whipped cream and some strawberries. Matt has already started digging into his own plate.
just a few bites Y/n, just let Matt think you're okay
You pick up your fork and knife with shaky hands, cut yourself a piece and quickly shove it it your mouth. Your body wants to immediately reject it, but you take a few more bites.
As soon as you swallow your first bite, it flies back up your throat. You get up and run to the bathroom. Matt follows you with concern. "Are my pancakes that bad?" he says, running after you. But as he walks into the bathroom. He notices how frail you've become. Tears are running down your eyes, and he finally realizes. You finish puking and flush the toilet and lean against the wall, almost lifelessly.
A few tears escape Matt's eyes. How could he be so stupid? how didn't he put it together? It was so obvious. He could've helped you. Why would you do this?
He runs out of the bathroom to get a glass of cold water, then quickly comes back to hold you. The only thing that could escape from his mouth was "Why"? "Just look at me, Matt, I hate it, I hate my body so fucking much, Matt, you don't even understand," you say, trying your best to yell, tears running down your face.
Matt is completely taken aback "But you're so beautiful, baby, You're hurting yourself. You were doing so good." You sob in Matt's arms, barely able to speak. "I-I'm sorry, Matt. I just wanted to be pretty." Your words felt like a knife in Matt's stomach.
''I tried so hard to fight it, Matt, I didn't want to go down this path again. I promised you I wouldn't. The words spill out like vomit, "But I did it anyway, Matty." You whine, "And it's worse than before. I'm so ashamed Matt. I'm sorry i'm putting you through this" Tears rush you your face, and you're shaking uncontrollably. The knife in Matts stomach only gets pushed deeper and deeper. "I'm sorry i never noticed Y/n, i'm so fucking stupid. The signs were so clear, i could've helped you." He wipes the tears off your cheeks. "But i'm gonna help you now baby." "I can't Matt" "we're gonna do it together okay? Step by step, Y/n. We'll be just fine"
Taglist: @sturnobsessedwh0re
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weoris · 22 hours
Text
THE CAR’S OUTSIDE ⊹ · YJW 양정원 WORK OF FICTION
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000 ┊ PRELUDE ! 𝗦𝖤𝖱𝖨𝖤𝖲 𝗖𝖮𝖬𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝐒𝖮𝖮𝖭. ‎ 🎀 ໒꒰ྀི˃ ⌑ ˂ഃ ꒱ྀི১ playlist‎
🗯️ ━━━ ever since middle school , you’ve had feelings for your sweet childhood best friend , jungwon . and it didn’t change all throughout your high school life . even when he had suddenly turned against you and created a new ‘ player ’ reputation ?! 📺
⦂ 3𝓀 𝘄𝗈𝗋𝖽 𝗰𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍. 🐇 신 𝗟𝖮𝖵𝖤𝖲 𝗬𝖮𝖴!
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YOU FROWNED AND GLANCED AT HIM, who was still pouting rubbing the spot you hit on his arm.
You felt a bit of guilt, well—the amount of guilt a seven-year-old could feel.. and you held his hand again slowly and dragged the both of you upstairs to your room. He raised his eyebrows and followed you.
Jungwon whimpered again when you got to your room, with you closing the door immediately. You let go of his hand and he sat down on the bed, sniffling and pouting as little tears fell down his cheeks.
You huffed and came back with a shin chan bandaid, sitting next to him and taking his arm. He raised his eyebrows again in surprise, but let you continue.
Opening up the bandaid, you put it up on the little cut on his arm and patted it gently. You pouted in embarrassment and looked down.
“I’m sorry..” you muttered. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.. well- I did, but.. you know..”
he looked away but then back at you, gulping as he nodded. “I’m sorry too..” he said quietly, making you look back up at him and wrap your arms around him.
he did the same.. hugging after every argument was a thing your moms made you do and something you both had grown accustomed too at this point..
you pulled away with an excited smile again.
“So you’ll play dress up with me again?”
He rolled his eyes at your words.. but started nodding slowly. You giggled and jumped, holding his hand and taking him to your closet again.
Jungwon chuckled slightly with a pinkish hue on his soft cheeks as he wiped his tears and followed you, bringing his hand up to you and fixing the slanted tiara on your messy head of hair..
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“LOSER!”
“WIMP!”
“CRYBABY!”
were the cheers jungwon heard by the crowd of elementary school kids around him.. as Cho Yoonsik, a boy three times larger than him, pushed him back and laughed at him, making jungwon fall to the ground with tears in his eyes.
reason for ridicule?
because Jungwon made the terrible, elementary school mistake..
of snitching.
He was scared when Yoonsik threatened him for the answers before yesterday’s quiz. and he did give them the answers during the test..
but when you found out, you got angry and told jungwon to immediately tell the teachers.
Yoonsik got in trouble, Jungwon got in trouble.. but Yoonsik has to redo the test tomorrow.. the same time he has a taekwondo competition.
Jungwon was lankier, and was too shy to fight back even if they were both in the same taekwondo class. there was nothing he could do about it..
and Yoonsik found Jungwon’s pink lunch box that his grandmother left for him, a bit amusing.
“Are you a girl? With your pretty, pink lunchbox~?” Yoonsik teased in a funny, mocking voice, making the rest of his friends and the crowd laugh.
Jungwon’s eyes filled with tears as he felt the sharp pain of being ridiculed and embarrassed like this..
“I..” Jungwon stuttered, his pouted lip trembling.
Yoonsik raised his eyebrows and chuckled. “What? Can the sad girl not fight back?” He said as he leaned down and started kicking the boy’s side, making Jungwon whimper and let the tears fall down his cheeks.
“This’ll teach you to not snitch, wimp!” Yoonsik spoke angrily, but with a little smirk on his face. All the other students around laughed and cheered along, some of them were even throwing their snacks on the poor Jungwon. ( out of fear to get on Yoonsik’s good side )
Jungwon wanted to crawl into a little hole and die. His breathing was ragged and shaky from crying, he felt like a mess,
his clean clothes that his grandmother had just bought for him were all dirty.. he did feel like a wimp.
jungwon felt like there was no point in doing the right thing, listening to you and telling the teacher, when this was the outcome.
That was until — he suddenly felt the kicks and pushes stop, and instead heard gasps of the crowd and a yelp from Yoonsik.
Jungwon opened his eyes slowly, covering himself for any more impact just in case and looked to his side, where everyone had shifted.
There he saw Yoonsik.. and
you?!
Maybe his eyes were blurry.. because there was no way that was you.. on Yoonsik’s back..
one arm around his neck to balance, your other arm hitting his head. Your legs wrapped around Yoonsik’s hips while kicking his sides.
“YAH! Who the hell— OW!!” Yoonsik exclaimed, shutting his eyes as you pushed him down to the ground, hitting his hard chest and taking off his denim cap to slap him with it.
Jungwon rubbed his eyes in shock and they went wide..
yeah, that was definitely you..
“Why are you hurting my best friend?!” You yelled, your little-girl screams hurting Yoon’s ears as he winced and shut them quickly with his hands, but had to put them on his chest again to shield away from you.
“I have a pretty pink lunchbox too! You wanna call him a girl again??!” The other kids were gasping and talking amongst themselves, not knowing what to say to not anger Yoonsik later..
The boy winced and shook his head as he gritted his teeth in annoyance.
“N—no! ..eugh..
STOP IT, YOU LITTLE-!”
Yoonsik yelled again, trying to stop you, the other students laughing at Yoon’s urgency to swear and how a little girl, half his size was beating him up.
Jungwon gulped.. he wanted to go up and help. But he didn’t think you were the one who needed help..
Suddenly, he saw you coming up to him, your fingers pinching Yoonsik’s ear and dragging him.
“Apologise to him!” You exclaimed again.. pointing your finger to jungwon.
Yoonsik hissed at the pain and huffed, panting in struggle. You furrowed your eyebrows and pouted, slapping his back again.
“OW! S—sorry! I’m sorry..” Yoonsik spoke finally, his face red from anger and embarrassment.
Jungwon widened his eyes and gulped, nodding hesitantly as he looked at Yoonsik up and down. “Y—yeah..”
he could only mutter back as he quickly got up..
“That’s right! Now— hey!”
and grabbed you by the shoulders, pushing you away from Yoonsik and slightly pulling on his ear.
“Don’t do that again..” Jungwon muttered, pursing his lips and sitting you down on another park bench. “Do what? Save your life?” You said in annoyance with a pout.
Jungwon sighed and rolled his eyes, kneeling down on the rough floor and looking eye-level at you. “Did you get hurt..?” He asked gently, tucking your hair back to check for wounds or scars.
You shook your head with a frustrated look. “You’re the one who’s hurt!” you huffed, making him sigh and take his hand away with a gulp..
“I’m sorry.. just don’t be mad at me..” Jungwon said quietly, looking up at you and pouting.
You shook your head and rolled your eyes with a loud, dramatic huff.
“You are a loser.”
He only furrowed his eyebrows and pouted, not fully grasping that your words were sarcastic.
“C’mon, let’s go to the nurses office, she’ll give us both ice cream!” You exclaimed, taking his hand and running back into the school.
Jungwon’s pout vanished and his eyes sparkled the moment he heard ‘ice cream’.
But deep in his mind, he thought you were really cool out there, defending him like that.
Y/n-ah.. you’re really cool.
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JUNGWON SOMETIMES HATED YOUR SWEET TOOTH. How after playing, you ran to the candy store, even after being so sweaty and tired. How you left him alone and sprinted in the direction of the ice cream truck when you heard the familiar tune. How you got so energetic right after, and he had to deal with your sugar-highs.
“You’re really gonna be a sugar-addict.” Jungwon said, rolling his eyes. You ignored his words and opened the wrapper of the lollipop, sitting down next to the sweets he got for you with the 1000 Won note he found in his pocket..
( he actually hadn’t just randomly found it, his mom gave it for him to get something to eat if he got hungry after.. he just lied so you wouldn’t get mad. you looked too happy earlier, you were practically drooling at the selection.. )
“Whatever..” you muttered, climbing up on some ledge near the park, leaning your elbows on your crossed legs and leaning down as you smiled at the other sweets you put down.
He leaned close, putting his arms down on the stony ledge next to your candies and scoffed with a chuckle, shaking his head slightly. nonetheless, a genuine smile crossed his lips when he looked up at how giddy you looked at the sweet and sour taste.
“Is that strawberry?” He muttered, his voice a bit muffled from how he rested his chin on his hand.
You nodded and hummed in response, busy looking elsewhere at the passersby. He took the opportunity and smirked.. before you knew it, his arm had reached up and snatched the lollipop from your mouth, making you gasp.
“Hey!” you whined, trying to take it back but he already plopped it in his mouth, giggling and climbing up on the ledge as well, sitting next to you. Hmph.. an annoyed pout reaching your lips as you huffed.
Jungwon chuckled and put his palms behind him as he leaned back on them, his cap all lopsided. he looked at you, slouching a bit with your elbows on your knees.. he reached his hand out again and took one of the ends of your braids in his fingers, twirling it.
He sighed softly and chuckled. “Don’t be mad at me~” Jungwon cooed, pinching your cheek as he leaned closer again, a hand to your chin as he made you look back.
You raised an eyebrow at his actions, not expecting him to be so touchy.. well—he was always comfortable around you, but why did it.. feel different to you now?
Jungwon smiled again and took the lollipop out of his mouth with a pop sound, placing it between your teeth again, the round shape now stretching your cheek.
Eyes widening again, you furrowed your eyebrows and froze at his action. “Ew.. cooties.” You joked, taking out the lollipop with a chuckle, trying to act casual.
But even jungwon noticed how your face and ears burned up and reddened. He just blamed it on the sunburn..
As silence filled the conversation, the same blush flushed on his face.. as a thought crossed his mind.
Jungwon pushed it back.. trying to not think of it.
“We’re practically kissing..” That was — until, of course, you just had to speak his thoughts out loud.
He hated a lot of things about you. Like how you could read his mind, how calm you seemed about that apparent.. indirect lollipop kissing.
“Yeah.. so?” Jungwon said, clearing his throat and trying to act indifferent. You scoffed and rolled your eyes, drawing little circles on the stony ledge.
Until you looked back at him and hummed softly. “Have you had your first kiss yet?” You asked quietly, making Jungwon’s eyes turn as wide as sauce pans and his face redden like a tomato.
When he looked up, he hated how his gaze went to your lips, coated in strawberry glossiness from the lollipop.
Jungwon cleared his throat and looked down again, trying to act casual. “Y-yeah, of course..” he spoke, pouting slightly and sighing. Almost all of his friends had had their first kisses already.. it was like 13 was the special age for kissing.
You scoffed and raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly. It was obvious he was lying..
maybe he was a bit jealous since there were rumours about you already having your first kiss. He always felt the need to remind you that he was just as cool — no, cooler than you.
“Really? With who?” Jungwon froze again.. knowing you caught him. You and him both knew he was completely scared of girls.
He cleared his throat again and furrowed his eyebrows. “M-moka..!” Jungwon blurted out.
“Moka~? The Japanese exchange student who’s dating Haruto?” You cooed, teasing him in a mockingly gentle tone. He grumbled and looked down.
“Just because you already had your first kiss, doesn’t mean you can be cocky..” his words made your expression soften slightly as you paused and looked down. “I haven’t had my first kiss either..”
He raised his eyebrows and looked up at you, blushing slightly again at your words. watching as the wind blew the loose hairs of your braids softly. Awkward silence filled the air, he had no idea what to say to that..
but a bit of relief filled him when you said you hadn’t had your first kiss either.
“Do you ever just wonder if.. maybe people are making such a big deal about it?” You spoke up, turning your head back to him. “Like.. you’ve been waiting too long that you just wanna get it over with?”
Jungwon looked up at you again and gulped, his cheeks puffing up slightly as he nodded. “Mhm..” he could only say.. he felt like he was going to have a word-vomit moment if he spoke up about how he just wanted to have the experience already.
He knew he was still young, but his friends made it such a big deal.. Jungwon couldn’t help but yearn for a feeling like it too.
You tilted your head and hummed, looking at him, how his eyes teared away from you and shifted anywhere else.. his cheeks reddening crazily and his lips pursing again — that habit of his you recognised by now.
“Jungwon.. can I kiss you?”
WHAT?!
Jungwon’s breath stopped, his head shooting up as his mind ran, his heat racing. “Wh—what..?” He whispered, something in his neck stopping his volume from going higher.
You smirked and turned, shifting your position to sit in front of him and now face him. “We’ll be each other’s first kisses.. we’re already comfortable around each other, it won’t be weird.. it’s just to get our first times out of the way!”
The cogs in Jungwon’s brain were still turning, his heart beating like crazy. But he thought about your offer.. it sounded pretty reasonable, right? You were his best friend, his person.. he could talk to you about anything.
And if you seemed so cool about it, shouldn’t he be as well? He should be just as cool as you, anyway..
Jungwon looked up, his sparkly eyes nervous and his lips trembling.
“..do you wanna kiss me?” he asked.
idiot.
not even he knew what was going through his head when he asked that. he blushed in embarrassment..
The corners of your mouth raised a bit, a chuckle leaving your lips. “Do you?” You repeated his question, in a teasing and quiet voice. He gulped and looked down, getting off of leaning against his palms and slouching down, his face closer to yours..
He pursed his lips and looked down, “Maybe..” jungwon whispered, making you raise your eyebrows again. You blushed slightly but smiled, looking down again and gulping.
Your position shifted, now moving to sit facing him. He continued looking down, not wanting to look up and face you.. but before he knew it, he felt a pair of plush lips against his own..
He widened his eyes.. not expecting your lips to feel so soft.. he remembered what he saw in those romantic movies his sister made him watch.. what his friends said, ‘Dude, just relax and like.. hold her waist, girls totally love that!’
Jungwon fluttered his eyes shut, awkwardly not moving his lips, as his hand went to waist to pull you closer. You giggled and pulled away at his awkward, nervous movements.
“You really are a loser~” you said with a giggle, your cheeks still a bit flushed as your fingers went to his round cheeks to pinch and pull on them.
“Hey..” he muttered, whining quietly and closing his eyes shut as you pull on his cheeks.. his hands still on your back and waist gently, holding you closer.
He’d usually be annoyed when you’d tease him like this and pulled on his cheeks. your touch would hurt sometimes — making him swat your hand away.
But when he opened his eyes again.. something about right now..
he couldn’t find himself to care if it hurt, or it was annoying. he just found himself staring a bit too much..
and when you looked back into his eyes.. his own immediately widened, as his face turned completely red.
he looked down immediately and took his hands away from your sides. he gulped and squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment, crossing his arms.
“Tsk.. You’re unbelievable..” you scoffed and teased with a gentle smirk on your lips again, not realising he was caught off guard by something else, something other than your teasing and pulling.
He turned back straight and pouted, trying to calm himself down. His head was still lowered to hide his red face “Sh—shut up..”
why was his heart beating so fast and loud? could you hear it? the last time he felt like this was when he was reading the new volume of wonder woman and he had a massive crush on her.
was the reason for his racing heart.. the same..? he looked at you again, but.. you were gone?
Gasp!
before he could say anything else, your eyes had brightened, you had gotten off the ledge and ran to the ice cream truck — following the lively tune. “ICE CREAM!”
you exclaimed, running to your heaven. Jungwon’s romance-high was put to halt as he rolled his eyes and took all the sweets in a bag. he picked up your cap that had fallen while you were running and quickly ran up to you.
“I already bought you a thousand sweets!”
but he knew his words were deaf on your sugar-addicted ears.
nonetheless, jungwon still felt his heart thump when you took the ice cream excitedly. he couldn’t even find it in him to reach his hand forward and wipe the ice cream off your cheek or pat your head — like he always did, but without that weird stomach—ache feeling..
“Thank you for paying again!” you exclaimed, making him roll his eyes again with a slight chuckle. “Of course~” he sarcastically cooed. you smiled anyway and crossed your arm around his and started skipping back home.
“You’re my best friend—I’ll love you forever! ..m-more than ice cream!” you said in a sing-song tone, making him giggle again as he walked with you.
jungwon pushed back the stomach-ache feeling again when he was with you.
he didn’t know what it was. he liked the feeling, but he didn’t like having it.
then again — he didn’t mind spending his childhood years with it, if it meant having you to protect him, to protect and to eat ice cream with, by his side.
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❪ BUNNY TALK ❫ are my jungwon lovers here??? the predebut release of the cars outside is here !! hope you guys enjoy it a lot ^^ have a good day ><
❪ OO1 TAGLIST ❫ OPEN! fill in this google form, send an ask or comment on this post to be added! 🐇🪽
❪ PERM TAGLIST ❫ @w3bqrl @boowoowho @ahnneyong @kynrki @ixomiyu @yunki4evr @flwoie @bubblytaetae @ja4hyvn @dimplewonie @xiaoderrrr @trsrina @adajoemaya @stepout-09-15 zzegarki @ineedaherosavemeenow @lcv3lies @violetinferno @mijuuv @enhapocketz @hoonics @bubblytaetae @isoobie @dolldhn @jiaant11 @yeomha @mosssi @j-wyoung @artstaeh @spilled-coffee-cup @cowsmicwu @nishislcve @laylasbunbunny @greentulip @enhacolor @miumura @firstclassjaylee @wensurr
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luviwon · 2 days
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FLOWERS OVER EXES — k.sn
❀ in which kim sunoo makes up for your ex boyfriend's miserable behaviour and gets you flowers to bring up your mood. but he doesn't stop there and brings you to heaven too. ❀ a combination of angst, fluff and vanilla smut is this a thing? (who could not fall for romantic sunoo i am actually on the floor now someone rescue me) ❀ in the mood for something sad but sweet and passionate as well so there you go ❀ for whoever doesn't want to read the smut part, i will put a small warning before the start of that so read worriless. as for my horny readers, you can just jump down there to avoid all the tear-causing scenes.
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"leave, then. i don't need you anymore"
his words were just as a sharp arrow, splitting your heart into two. you did not dare to confront him anymore, not after everything that has happened. looking at him in the eyes one more time, you felt a burning tear painting your face. it was not worth crying for this pathetic man, but you couldn't help yourself. everything you have shared together was still there somehow, and despite his wrong doings, you still kept thinking about the good times.
you had to control yourself, though, and acknowledge what a piece of trash he was. and that there was no better decision than to stand up and leave as he said. you did not need him anymore either.
"i'll send someone to get my things by the end of this week"
he just nodded, turning his back to you and going on his phone. is this the lowest respect he has left for you? you opened your mouth sligthly, ready to criticise him and tell him one final thing before leaving forever, but you stopped yourself. you were more than that and should not lower yourself to his level.
without further goodbyes, you left your ex boyfriend house and walked down the steps, holding your tears back still.
you kept your head down as you walked through the streets, trying to ignore the tightening in your chest. the cool evening air nipped at your skin, but it wasn’t enough to numb the ache growing inside you. each step felt heavier than the last, the weight of everything pressing down like an anchor.
you didn’t want to cry. not here. not now.
the sidewalk was quiet, just the occasional hum of a car passing by, but even in the stillness, your thoughts screamed louder. you had done the right thing. you had to believe that. but it didn’t feel like it. each memory flashed in your mind like cruel reminders—the laughter, the stolen glances, the small moments that felt too perfect to be real. and maybe they never were.
your eyes burned, but you blinked the tears away. you couldn’t fall apart now, not in the middle of the street where anyone could see.
as the familiar path towards the han river stretched out in front of you, your phone buzzed in your pocket. you hesitated for a moment, thumb hovering over the screen, before pressing call. you needed to hear a voice, something to ground you, to remind you that you weren’t completely alone.
"hello?" sunoo’s voice was soft, and for a second, you could almost pretend nothing was wrong. almost.
“hey…” your voice came out shakier than you wanted, and you bit your lip, trying to steady it.
"you okay?" he asked, instantly picking up on the tremor. his concern wrapped around you like a blanket, but it only made it harder to keep your composure.
you swallowed hard, fingers curling tightly around your phone. "i’m fine. just needed to… hear someone."
there was a pause, the kind that made you wonder if he was trying to find the right words or if he already knew. “what did he do again?”
his question hit like a punch to the gut, and before you could stop it, a sob broke through your chest, loud and raw, spilling out into the night air. you clamped your hand over your mouth, as if that would stop the rest from coming, but it was too late.
sunoo’s voice immediately softened, "hey, hey… it's okay. i’m here. talk to me."
you tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come. your legs felt weak, and you had to stop, leaning against a lamppost to steady yourself. everything felt too much—too loud, too painful, too real.
"where are you?" sunoo asked gently. you could hear the worry creeping into his voice, but he wasn’t pushing you. he never did.
you wiped at your cheeks, hating the way your breath kept catching in your throat. "the bridge," you whispered. "i’m going to the han river bridge."
“okay, stay there. i’m coming to you, alright?” he was already moving, you could hear it in his voice, the rush of footsteps in the background. "just hold on."
you nodded even though he couldn’t see. "i’m sorry," you managed to say, voice breaking again. you didn’t even know what you were apologizing for—maybe for calling him, for crying like this, for not being stronger.
"don’t be sorry," sunoo said softly. "you don’t have to do this alone. i’m almost there."
you lowered the phone and took a deep breath, staring out at the darkening sky. the han river was just ahead, the faint shimmer of water in the distance. you’d been here so many times before, but tonight it felt different—like everything had changed. like you had changed.
you stood by the railing of the bridge, eyes unfocused as you stared out at the water. the river moved slowly beneath the soft glow of the streetlights, but your mind was far from the calm that surrounded you. it kept pulling you back—back to him, to his words, to the way everything seemed to fall apart in such a quiet, brutal way.
people walked past, some alone, some in pairs, their footsteps light against the pavement. you could feel their glances, brief but piercing, as if they could see through you, as if they knew. you shifted your weight, trying to make yourself smaller, to hide the mess you felt like, but it only made the knot in your chest tighter. your face was still warm and damp from crying, and you wiped at it quickly, telling yourself to get it together.
“come on,” you muttered under your breath, taking in a shaky breath. “be strong. you have to be strong.”
but the words felt hollow, like they were just something to say because you didn’t know how else to pull yourself out of this. everything hurt, and even though you told yourself over and over again that you were fine, that you were better off without him, it didn’t stop the ache from settling deeper.
you closed your eyes, leaning forward on the railing, letting the cool wind brush against your skin. maybe, just for a moment, you could let yourself fall apart. no one would notice, right? no one would—
and then, out of the corner of your eye, you saw it—something familiar. you turned your head slowly, gaze catching on a figure walking towards you. the first thing you noticed was the coat—black and slightly oversized, the one you’d seen so many times before. the way it hung loosely on his frame, sleeves too long for his delicate hands. then the hair, that familiar mess of dark strands that somehow always looked perfect in its disarray.
sunoo.
he wasn’t rushing, but his steps had a purpose, his eyes already locked on you. and for a second, everything around you seemed to blur. there was something comforting in his presence, something that made your heart ache a little less, even though you hadn’t said a word yet. but then, as he got closer, you noticed something else—something unfamiliar.
in his hand, he was holding a small bouquet of flowers, wrapped carefully in soft blue paper. delicate, pale blue peonies peeked out from the wrapping, their soft petals almost glowing in the dim light of the streetlamps. you blinked, caught off guard by the sight. despite the familiar comfort of seeing him, there was something so unexpected, so tender, in the way he held them.
sunoo reached you, his breath a little uneven from the walk, but his expression was calm, his eyes soft as he looked at you. he said nothing at first, just standing there with you, offering his presence like an anchor. but it was the flowers that kept drawing your gaze.
“you okay?” he asked, voice low and gentle, like he didn’t want to break whatever fragile moment this was.
you opened your mouth to speak, but the words tangled in your throat. instead, you shook your head, unable to stop the tears from welling up again.
sunoo didn’t waste a second. as soon as he saw the tears welling up in your eyes again, he gently placed the bouquet down on the ground and stepped forward, wrapping his arms around you in a way that felt so natural, like he’d been waiting for this moment to be there for you. his embrace was firm but soft, and before you could think, your face was pressed against his chest, his warmth enveloping you. his hand found its way to the back of your head, fingers threading through your hair as he pulled you even closer. he rested his chin on top of your head, the steady rise and fall of his breathing a quiet reminder that you weren’t alone.
“it’s okay,” he whispered, his voice barely more than a breath against your hair. “you don’t have to say anything. i’m here. i’ve got you.”
his hand stroked your hair in gentle motions, like he was trying to smooth out the chaos inside you with each pass of his fingers. you didn’t resist, letting yourself melt into him, the tension you’d been carrying for so long slowly unraveling in his arms. you could feel his heart beating steadily against your cheek, and somehow, that rhythm made everything seem a little less terrifying. his scent wrapped around you—clean and familiar, with the faintest trace of something warm, like vanilla. it filled your senses, grounding you, reminding you that not everything was lost.
“you’re not alone anymore,” sunoo murmured, his voice low but strong. “whatever happens, whatever this is… you don’t have to carry it by yourself. i’ll be here, no matter what. i promise.”
you didn’t say anything, just pressed your face deeper into his chest, your fingers clutching at the fabric of his coat like it was the only thing keeping you standing. his words soaked into you, each one like a small stitch, trying to pull together the pieces of you that had been so brutally torn apart.
“i don’t know what happened,” he continued, his hand still moving slowly through your hair. “and i don’t need to know right now. all that matters is that you’re safe, and i’ll protect you from here on out. whatever it takes.”
his chin shifted slightly against your head, and you could feel the way his breath stirred your hair as he spoke. there was something so steady, so unshakable about the way he held you, like he was a wall between you and the rest of the world. you didn’t have to be strong right now, not with him. it was like all the weight you’d been carrying was finally allowed to fall.
“sunoo…” your voice cracked as you finally spoke, muffled against his chest. the words felt heavy, like they’d been trapped inside you for too long. “it’s over now. it just… ended.”
saying it out loud made it real, and the reality hit like a wave, crashing down with a force you weren’t ready for. your body shook as the sobs finally came, no longer silent, no longer restrained. you cried into his chest, letting everything out—everything you had been holding in, all the pain, all the confusion, all the love you didn’t know how to let go of.
sunoo tightened his hold on you, one hand pressing gently to your back, keeping you close, as if he could shield you from the hurt with his touch alone. “i know… i know,” he whispered softly, his voice trembling just a little, but he never wavered. “let it out. you don’t have to be strong right now. i’m here.”
he didn’t let go. not once. and in that moment, you let yourself believe him. you let yourself believe that maybe, just maybe, you didn’t have to go through this alone. in his arms, with the sound of his heartbeat in your ears and his warmth surrounding you, the world didn’t feel as cold.
sunoo held you for a while longer, his chin still resting on your head as he let you cry in his arms. but as the minutes passed, the air around you began to grow colder, the last traces of sunlight disappearing beyond the horizon. he felt the slight shiver that ran through you and pulled back gently, just enough to look at you, concern flickering in his eyes.
"it’s getting dark," he said softly, brushing a stray tear from your cheek with his thumb. "and cold. let’s get you home and warm up, okay? i’ll take care of everything. i promise, you won’t be alone tonight."
there was something so reassuring in the way he said it, so sure and steady, that you found yourself nodding without hesitation. the thought of being alone, of walking back to an empty apartment with nothing but the echo of tonight’s heartbreak, made you feel even more fragile. but with sunoo, even just for now, you didn’t have to face that emptiness.
he smiled at your nod, that small, gentle smile of his that always seemed to bring a little light, even in moments like this. "come on, let’s go."
as he bent down to pick up the bouquet from the ground, you watched him for a moment, noticing how careful he was with the flowers, as if they were something precious. then, without a word, he slipped his arm around your shoulders, his touch warm and solid, guiding you gently as you leaned into him. you were still shaky, still sobbing quietly, but his presence made it just a little easier to take each step.
you rested your head on his shoulder as you walked, the weight of your grief still heavy, but his steady pace gave you something to hold on to. he led you to his car, the soft click of the remote unlocking the doors breaking the quiet of the night. when you reached the passenger side, he paused, opening the door for you with a care that felt so... intentional, like every movement was meant to make you feel safe.
"here," he said softly, helping you into the seat. he carefully set the bouquet in the back, the blue flowers almost glowing in the dim light from the streetlamps, before closing your door with a soft thud.
you watched him circle around the car, your eyes tracing his familiar figure as he moved, his hair slightly tousled from the breeze, the faint shadows of exhaustion under his eyes. when he slid into the driver’s seat, he turned to you with that same gentle smile, though there was a flicker of worry behind it.
"let’s go," he said quietly, and the engine purred to life as he started the car, the low hum filling the space between you.
you leaned your head against the window, feeling the cool glass press against your skin, your gaze drifting up towards the night sky. the stars were faint, scattered against the dark canvas of the city, but they were there, blinking quietly in the distance. you focused on them, using their distant light to hold yourself together, to keep the tears at bay. you didn’t want to cry anymore, not here, not in front of him.
the car moved smoothly through the streets, the soft glow of passing streetlights flickering over your face. you could feel sunoo’s eyes on you, stealing glances when he thought you weren’t noticing. but you felt it—his worry, his care, the way he was watching over you even in the smallest moments. every so often, he would adjust his grip on the steering wheel, his hand moving effortlessly between the controls, and you found yourself oddly comforted by the sight. there was something undeniably calming about the way he drove, like he was in control of everything, even when the world felt like it was falling apart around you.
after a while, you felt the softest touch—a gentle pressure on your hand. you looked down and saw sunoo’s hand resting on yours, which had been resting limply on your thigh. his touch was warm, his fingers wrapping lightly around yours, anchoring you to the moment.
"it’s going to be okay," he whispered, his voice barely audible over the quiet hum of the engine. "i promise."
you couldn’t bring yourself to respond, not yet, but something in his touch, in his words, soothed the ache just a little. you stared out the window again, watching the city lights blur past as the car made its way through the familiar streets. despite the heaviness inside you, there was a strange sense of peace in this moment—in his presence, in the quiet reassurance he gave without asking anything in return.
every now and then, you caught the way his hand moved on the steering wheel, the light reflecting off his skin as he handled the car with one hand, the other still resting protectively on yours. there was something about the way he drove, the quiet confidence in each movement, that made you feel... safe. not just physically, but in a way that went deeper, as if he could handle whatever came next, as long as he was by your side.
you let out a shaky breath, your tears drying on your cheeks, and leaned back into the seat, the weight of the night still heavy but no longer unbearable. and for the first time in what felt like forever, you let yourself believe—just a little—that maybe it really would be okay.
before you even realized it, you had arrived at the entrance of your apartment’s parking lot. the streetlights cast long, hazy shadows on the ground, and the gentle hum of the car's engine began to fade as sunoo effortlessly turned it off. he glanced at you one last time before you stepped out, his eyes brimming with quiet hope and an encouraging smile that seemed to say, “you’re not alone in this.”without hesitation, he got out of the car and hurried around to your side, not giving you a chance to move on your own. he opened the door for you, his attention entirely focused on you and nothing else. with gentle hands, he helped you out of the car, and as you stood up, he carefully reached into the backseat to retrieve the bouquet of flowers.
you fumbled for your keys in your pocket, your hands still shaky from the tears that hadn't fully dried. sunoo noticed, of course he did, and with that same tenderness, he took the keys from you, his fingers brushing yours in a way that made you feel like he was absorbing some of the weight you carried. "i’ve got it," he whispered, his voice a soft promise. he unlocked the door and nudged it open, but he didn’t step in first. no, he let you take that step—letting you lead in your own space, your sanctuary that felt strangely foreign at this moment.
you walked in, the familiar scent of home greeting you, but everything felt too still, too quiet. the weight of the day hung in the air, pressing down on your chest as you stood there, unsure of what to do next. sunoo closed the door softly behind you and, without saying a word, helped you slip off your coat. his movements were slow, deliberate, as if he wanted to shield you from even the smallest discomfort. he guided you gently toward the sofa, the only thing that seemed to belong in the room right now.
"how about you sit here for a while," he whispered, his voice as soothing as the night itself, "i’ll make us some tea, something warm to help you feel better." and before you could respond, he was already in the kitchen, the sound of cabinets opening and the quiet clinking of mugs filling the silence that you hadn’t noticed until then. the soft whir of the kettle began, blending with the faint shuffle of his feet on the kitchen floor. it was comforting, these small noises of someone taking care of you, the way he always knew what you needed before you even realized it yourself.
you sank into the sofa, eyes falling on the bouquet now resting on the coffee table. they were beautiful, untouched by the sadness in your heart, as if they held onto the light that seemed so distant from you. the warmth of the room, the soft glow from the lamps sunoo had turned on without you noticing, everything began to feel less overwhelming, even just for a moment.
sunoo came back, holding two steaming mugs, the rich scent of tea swirling around you. he set them down carefully next to the flowers before settling beside you, close enough that his presence was a balm against the storm inside you. without a word, he opened his arms, and you collapsed into him, your body shaking as the tears returned. he held you tighter, one hand stroking your back in soothing circles, his voice a quiet hum of comfort. "it’s going to be okay, y/n," he murmured, "i’m here. i’ll always be here.
and for a second—just a second—you believed him. the warmth of his chest, the steady beat of his heart, the safety of his embrace made everything feel less terrifying. you burrowed deeper into his arms, letting the soft fabric of his hoodie and the strength of his hold anchor you. you looked up at him through tear-streaked lashes, his face illuminated by the soft lamplight. his words, his presence, made you feel like maybe, just maybe, everything would be alright.
sunoo didn’t say a word at first. he didn’t need to. his arms tightened around you, holding you as if he could shield you from the sadness that clung to you. he rested his chin on the top of your head, his steady breathing a rhythm that slowly started to soothe the chaos swirling inside you. his fingers gently threaded through your hair, soft strokes, as if each touch was meant to remind you he was there, that he wasn’t going anywhere.
"it’s okay, let it out," he whispered, his voice barely above a breath, but filled with so much warmth it almost made your chest ache. "i’m here. i’ll stay as long as you need me." his words weren’t rushed or forced, just a quiet truth, something solid in the midst of all the uncertainty that weighed down on you.
you could feel the wetness of your tears soaking through his hoodie, but he didn’t seem to care. he only held you closer, his hand moving to cradle the back of your head, guiding it into the curve of his neck. you felt so small in his arms, but somehow, the pain felt a little less suffocating. the ache in your heart was still there, throbbing with every beat, but sunoo’s warmth kept you grounded, kept you from feeling like you were drowning.
"i know it hurts," he murmured into your hair, his breath warm against your scalp, "but you don’t have to go through it alone, okay? we’ll get through this together. i’ve got you." his voice cracked just the tiniest bit at the end, and you realized how much it hurt him to see you like this. but there wasn’t a trace of frustration or helplessness in his touch, only unwavering patience.
time seemed to stretch on endlessly, the minutes blending together as you cried into his arms. the room was still, the only sounds the faint ticking of the clock and your quiet sobs, slowly easing into shallow breaths. you clung to him, needing the solidness of his body, the reassurance of his touch.
"it’s going to be okay," he repeated softly, like a mantra. "i promise, y/n. i’ll be here every step of the way." he shifted slightly, just enough to pull you closer, his hand now cupping your cheek, brushing away the tears with the pad of his thumb. his eyes, warm and filled with nothing but concern, searched your face, making sure you were really there, really okay.
"i know it doesn’t feel like it right now," he continued, his voice barely above a whisper, "but one day, it won’t hurt as much. and when that day comes, you’ll look back and see how strong you are. but until then, lean on me. i’ll carry as much of this for you as i can."
his words washed over you like a balm, his presence a refuge from the pain that felt too heavy to bear. you didn’t have the strength to respond, but you didn’t need to. sunoo understood. he always did. he pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head, his lips lingering there for a moment longer than usual, as if trying to seal his promise with that one tender gesture.
slowly, the sobs subsided, leaving behind a quiet, aching stillness. your breathing steadied, and though the pain hadn’t left, it felt more bearable in the cocoon of his arms. you rested your head against his chest, listening to the soft, steady rhythm of his heartbeat, and let yourself be held, let yourself find comfort in his unwavering presence.
"just stay here with me," you whispered, your voice shaky and fragile. "don’t leave."
sunoo hugged you even tighter, his chin resting on your shoulder now. "i’m not going anywhere," he whispered back, his voice filled with so much certainty that, for the first time in what felt like forever, you believed him. you closed your eyes, letting yourself melt into his embrace, and for a brief moment, the heartbreak seemed distant, something outside the walls of this small, quiet world the two of you had created.
slowly, the tension in your body eased as you stayed wrapped in his arms, the warmth of his chest steady against your cheek. you let out a shaky breath, feeling a small sliver of calm begin to take root amidst the chaos. sunoo's presence was enough, his quiet reassurances and the gentle rhythm of his breathing pulling you back from the edge of your heartbreak. after a moment, you pulled back slightly, enough to lift your head and meet his gaze.
sunoo’s hand moved gently from your back to your face, his fingers tracing the line of your jaw with the same delicate care he’d shown all night. he tilted your chin up slightly, his eyes searching yours with an intensity that made your breath catch. the room felt impossibly quiet, like the world outside had faded completely, leaving only the two of you in this small, warm space.
“you know,” he began softly, his voice barely above a whisper, “i’ve always admired you. not just for how strong you are… but for everything else. your kindness. your smile. the way you care for others, even when you’re hurting.”
his thumb brushed lightly across your cheek, the touch so tender that it made your heart stutter. “you don’t even realize how special you are, do you?” he asked, his eyes softening as they moved over your face, taking in every detail as if he wanted to memorize you in this moment. “and not just on the inside… you’re beautiful. you always have been.”
his words sank into you, deeper than you expected, and you felt a warmth bloom in your chest, something soft but undeniable. it was like he was seeing through all the pain, all the exhaustion, to the person you weren’t sure was still there anymore. and for the first time in a while, you felt seen. truly seen.
his hand stayed on your cheek, his palm warm against your skin, and you found yourself leaning into it slightly, as if you couldn’t help but be drawn closer to him. there was something magnetic about him in this moment—the way his gaze held yours, the way his touch seemed to chase away the cold that had been sitting inside you all night. you felt a strange pull, a quiet longing that you didn’t quite know how to name, but it was there, growing with every second you spent in his arms.
sunoo’s thumb brushed across your lips, just the faintest touch, but it sent a shiver through you. “i’m sorry you’ve been through so much,” he murmured, his voice even softer now. “but i promise… i’ll be here. i’ll always be here.”
there was something in his eyes, something deeper, that made your breath hitch in your throat. it wasn’t just reassurance anymore—there was a tenderness there, a kind of closeness that went beyond simple comfort. it felt like he was opening up a part of himself to you, something that had always been there, just waiting for you to notice.
and you did notice. suddenly, you were acutely aware of how close he was, of how his hand cradled your face with such care, of the way his gaze flickered down to your lips for just a split second before meeting your eyes again. the pull between you grew stronger, an invisible thread drawing you closer, until it was impossible to ignore.
your heart raced as you watched him, your mind spinning with the realization that you weren’t just seeking comfort anymore—you were seeking him. the closeness, the warmth, the way his words made you feel seen and understood… it all made you want to close the distance, to move closer, to let yourself fall into this strange but undeniable connection.
sunoo’s breath was shaky as he leaned in, his lips brushing against yours so softly, it was almost like a question. the kiss was light, tentative, and for a moment, you froze. your eyes widened, surprised by the suddenness of it, your heart skipping a beat. it wasn’t what you had expected, not tonight, not like this. but even in your surprise, you didn’t pull away.
his lips were warm, soft, and his touch was so gentle it felt like he was afraid of pushing too far. but you didn’t move. you didn’t want to. something inside you was holding you there, caught in the moment, unable to back away.
sunoo pulled back first, his eyes wide with realization. “oh—i’m sorry,” he stammered, his voice full of regret. “i didn’t mean to… i didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” his hands moved to your shoulders, as if to steady you, his eyes full of worry. “i shouldn’t have—”
but before he could finish, you found yourself reaching for him. your fingers brushed his cheek, stopping him mid-sentence. your mind was still reeling, but your heart knew what it wanted. without thinking, you leaned in, closing the gap between you. this time, the kiss wasn’t a question. it was an answer.
your lips met his softly at first, a gentle press that quickly deepened into something more. it wasn’t rushed or urgent, but it was full of emotion—a quiet desperation, a need for closeness that had been building all night. sunoo’s hands moved from your shoulders to your waist, pulling you gently towards him as his lips moved with yours in a slow, careful rhythm.
you felt his warmth seep into you, the soft heat of his hands as they slid up from your waist to your sides, his touch careful but sure. each movement was filled with tenderness, his fingers brushing your skin like he was afraid to break the moment, but at the same time, unable to let go.
your own hands found their way to his face, your fingers tangling gently in his hair as you kissed him back, matching his slow, steady pace. it was like nothing else existed in the world—just the two of you, the quiet hum of the room, and the soft press of his lips against yours. the warmth of him, the safety you felt in his arms, was overwhelming. you hadn’t realized how much you’d needed this—needed him—until now.
sunoo’s hands moved again, this time one slipping up to cup your face, his thumb brushing lightly over your cheek as he kissed you, his touch so full of care that it made your chest ache in the best way. the other hand stayed on your waist, holding you close, anchoring you to him in a way that felt both protective and intimate.
you could feel his heart racing, the steady thrum beneath his skin matching the rhythm of your own. there was something so gentle, so patient, in the way he kissed you, like he was taking his time, making sure every moment was soft, every touch full of meaning. his lips moved slowly, carefully, as if he wanted to savor every second of this closeness.
the kiss deepened, but never lost its gentleness. his hand moved from your face to your hair, his fingers threading through the strands as he kissed you with a quiet intensity. every touch, every soft brush of his lips, made you feel warmer, safer, like the world outside didn’t matter as long as he was here with you.
you melted into him, your body softening against his as the kiss continued, slow and tender. his hands explored your sides, your back, his touch never straying too far, but always grounding you in the moment. you felt cherished, held in a way that made you believe, if only for now, that everything would be okay.
eventually, the kiss slowed, but neither of you pulled away. your foreheads rested together, breaths mingling as you stayed close, his hands still cradling you gently. sunoo’s eyes fluttered open, meeting yours with a softness that made your heart ache all over again.
“i… i don’t know what this means,” he whispered, his voice barely audible, “but… i’m here. and i’ll keep being here… as long as you need me.”
his words, the warmth of his body pressed against yours, the quiet comfort of being held—it all made you feel something you hadn’t felt in a long time. safe. wanted. and maybe, just maybe, like you could let yourself fall into this, into him, without fear.
the room felt suspended in time, the quiet hum of the city outside dimming until it was just the two of you, lost in each other’s presence. your head rested on sunoo’s chest, the steady rise and fall of his breathing soothing, like the softest lullaby. you looked up at him, meeting his gaze, and a small smile tugged at your lips. there was something so tender in the way he looked back at you, his eyes full of warmth and affection that made your heart flutter.
sunoo’s arms tightened around you, pulling you closer, as if he couldn’t bear the thought of letting you go. his voice was soft, barely above a whisper, but it filled the space between you with a kind of sweetness that made your chest feel light.
“you’re so beautiful,” he murmured, his hand gently caressing your arm, his thumb brushing over your skin in slow, soothing strokes. “i’ve always thought so… even when you don’t see it yourself.”
his words made your smile widen, a warmth blooming inside you that you hadn’t felt in a long time. you nestled closer to him, your heart beating steadily in time with his. it was easy to get lost in this moment, the way he held you, the way his voice was like a soft caress against your skin.
“you deserve so much more,” he continued, his eyes never leaving yours. “more love, more happiness. and i’ll make sure you have that. even if it’s just for tonight, i’ll give you everything i can.”
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his forehead rested against yours for a moment, his breath mingling with yours, his fingers still trailing gently up and down your arm. it felt like you were in your own little world, shielded from the rest of the universe by the warmth of his embrace. sunoo kissed your forehead softly, his lips lingering there for a few seconds, as if trying to absorb every ounce of pain you had carried. his other hand slipped up to cradle your face, his thumb brushing lightly across your cheek as he kissed you there again, whispering sweet nothings into your skin.
you couldn’t help but smile, the soft affection between you making your heart swell. without thinking, you leaned up and pressed your lips to his again, just a quick peck, something so innocent yet full of meaning. when you pulled back, sunoo chuckled softly, his eyes crinkling in the corners as a small laugh escaped you too.
for a moment, everything was light again, like the weight of the world had been lifted. but then the silence settled over you once more, and you found yourselves staring into each other’s eyes, the connection between you deepening with every second that passed. the air felt charged with something you couldn’t quite name, something that made your heart race and your breath hitch.
you leaned in first this time, and your lips met his again, the kiss soft but full of emotion. sunoo’s arms tightened around you, and you felt his body shift slightly, his hand coming up to cradle the back of your head as he kissed you back with a slow, deliberate tenderness. it wasn’t rushed, but it was filled with a kind of quiet longing that made your heart skip a beat.
somehow, without either of you realizing it, you found yourselves shifting positions. sunoo moved carefully, his hands never leaving your body as he gently guided you back onto the sofa. you sank into the cushions, your back pressed against the soft fabric, and sunoo hovered above you, his knees on either side of your hips as he leaned down, his lips brushing yours again. he was careful, keeping most of his weight off you, his body hovering close but never pressing down.
the kiss deepened, his lips moving against yours in a slow, intoxicating rhythm. his hands slid from your waist to your sides, his touch gentle but full of purpose, like he was savoring every moment of this closeness. you could feel the heat of his body above you, the warmth of his breath against your skin, and it made your head spin in the best way.
your hands found their way to his shoulders, then his neck, pulling him closer as the kiss grew more passionate. it wasn’t rushed, but there was a quiet urgency between you now, a need to feel more of each other, to hold on tighter to this moment. sunoo’s lips left yours for just a second, trailing down to the curve of your jaw, then to the soft skin of your neck. his kisses were light, tentative, like he was testing the waters, waiting for your response.
you didn’t pull away, didn’t flinch. instead, you let your hands slide into his hair, your fingers tangling gently in the strands as his lips brushed against your skin. the sensation sent a shiver through you, but it wasn’t uncomfortable—it was something else entirely, something warm and inviting.
sunoo must have felt it too, because after a moment, he returned to your lips, capturing them in another slow, tender kiss. this time, his hands moved up to cradle your face, his thumbs brushing gently across your cheeks as he kissed you with the same gentle intensity as before. there was something so soft, so reassuring in his touch, like he was reminding you that he was here, that you weren’t alone anymore.
between kisses, his lips hovered just above yours, his breath warm against your skin as he whispered, “your touch… it’s unlike anything i’ve ever felt before. it’s like… you were made for this, for being held like this.”
his words made your chest tighten, your heart swelling with something you couldn’t quite name. the tenderness in his voice, the way he spoke to you like you were the most precious thing in the world, made you feel more seen and more cherished than you had in a long time.
you kissed him again, your lips seeking his with a newfound hunger, and sunoo responded in kind, his hands moving from your face to your waist, then back up to your sides, cradling you gently as if you were something fragile. each kiss was slow, deliberate, filled with a kind of care that made you feel safe, protected. his lips moved with yours in perfect sync, the connection between you growing deeper with every passing second.
the warmth of his body, the softness of his touch, the gentle rhythm of his kisses—it all made you feel like you were floating, like you were wrapped in a cocoon of comfort and affection that you never wanted to leave. and in that moment, as you lay there with sunoo, the world outside faded away completely, leaving only the two of you, lost in each other’s touch, in each other’s warmth.
as you lay beneath him, the gentle rhythm of his lips on yours began to stir something deeper inside. the tenderness, the warmth—it was no longer enough. there was a magnetic pull, a craving that grew with every brush of his lips. you felt it in the way sunoo’s hands roamed your sides, a bit more deliberate, his fingers pressing slightly harder as though he too was feeling the same urgency between you.
sunoo’s kisses trailed lower, down your jaw to your neck, and you couldn’t help the soft sigh that escaped you. he was so careful, his lips barely grazing your skin at first, then growing bolder, leaving a trail of delicate, wet kisses down the curve of your neck. your hands slid up into his hair, tangling in the soft strands, encouraging him as he moved, his lips pressing deeper, lingering longer, until you felt the faintest tug of teeth.
his breath was warm against your skin, his kisses shifting lower as he pulled at the collar of your blouse, just enough to expose your collarbone. your heart raced as he kissed there, the sensation of his lips making your body respond in ways that made your chest tighten. sunoo’s kisses were slow and intentional, his mouth working its way across your skin, each kiss sending a ripple of warmth through you.
his lips hovered for a moment, just beneath your ear, and he whispered softly, “i want to take care of you… all of you.”
the words sent a shiver down your spine, a shiver that only deepened when his mouth returned to your neck, leaving the faintest of marks in his wake, barely noticeable but there, a silent claim. your breath hitched as his lips found the hollow at the base of your throat, and he pulled your blouse aside a little more, giving himself access to your collarbone. his kisses there were slower, wetter, each one pulling a small, soft gasp from you.
your fingers trembled as they made their way to the hem of his hoodie, your mind spinning with the heat of his touch. you hesitated for a moment, your fingers pausing, but the craving to feel more of him—his warmth, his skin—overpowered any doubts. with a slow, tentative movement, you tugged the fabric up, exposing the firm muscles beneath.
sunoo’s body was sculpted, each line of his chest and abs defined, and your gaze was instantly drawn to the sight of him. he noticed your stare, a soft chuckle escaping him, his lips curling into a small smirk that made your heart race even faster. he grabbed your hand, his touch gentle yet firm, and guided it to his chest. pressing your palm flat against the hard planes of his skin, he leaned in, his voice low, teasing.
“go on,” he murmured, his lips brushing your ear. “i’m not going anywhere.”
the warmth of his skin under your fingers was electric, his heart beating steadily beneath your touch. you smiled, feeling more confident, and sunoo’s smirk only deepened as he watched you, his gaze never leaving yours.
before you could think twice, you shifted positions again, moving so that you were straddling him, your legs on either side of his hips. his back rested against the sofa, his hands finding your waist, holding you steady as you moved on top of him. your heart pounded in your chest, the intimacy of the moment overwhelming, but the way sunoo’s hands gripped your hips, the way his lips found your shoulder, made you feel like you were exactly where you belonged.
he leaned in, his mouth once again trailing a line of slow, wet kisses down your shoulder and across your collarbone. the space he had exposed earlier was now his playground, and every kiss, every press of his lips, sent a new wave of heat rushing through you. your breath came in shallow gasps, your hands gripping his shoulders as he worked his way lower, his kisses more insistent, more demanding.
with trembling fingers, you reached for the hem of your blouse, pulling it over your head and letting it fall to the floor. you wanted to give him more—more access, more of yourself. the vulnerability of the moment was overwhelming, but sunoo’s touch, his gaze, made you feel safe.
his hands slid from your waist to your back, his fingers tracing the curve of your spine as his lips moved back up to meet yours. there was a hunger now, a shared desire that neither of you could deny. his kisses were deeper, more passionate, his hands gripping your waist as if to ground himself in the heat of the moment.
the heat between you was palpable, the desire undeniable, yet sunoo remained so careful, so attentive to your every move, every reaction. his lips found yours again, and the kiss deepened, his hands roaming your body as he held you close. and in that moment, everything else faded away—the pain, the heartbreak, the doubt. all that remained was the warmth of his body, the softness of his lips, and the undeniable pull that drew you closer to him with every touch.
“you look so beautiful tonight,” he whispered, staring down at your exposed cleavage, the only obstacle keeping him away from your tits being a piece of laced bra. sunoo couldn’t help but smirked, making eye contact with you again before turning you around, your back against his chest. he led you to lean on him, his hands trailing invisible lines on your stomach and reaching the bra wire. “will you let me?” he whispered into your ear.
you nodded, in the intensity of the moment, and threw your head back on his shoulder when his hands found their way under your bra and cupped your tits, sending you butterflies. his hands were firm on your chest, but not forceful. you bit your lower lip as his index fingers touched your nipples each, crossing your legs in response. sunoo smiled at the notice of that, realising he’s just found one of your sensitive spots. his fingers continued teasing your buds, as a heat started to grow between your legs, the sense of wetness being more and more intense.
“do you want me to go harder on them or is this just perfect?” he whispered again, gently continuing with his play. he couldn’t get tired of it, your nipples felt just right between his fingers, your tits fitting in his hands just perfectly, finding their own new owner. “i like it like that” you barely said, afraid to escape a light moan. sunoo nodded, not changing his rhythm or strength on you, fulfilling all of your desires.
feeling your ass keep moving on his lap, the bulge inside his pants started to get more and more noticeable. you felt his hardness pressing against you, a testament to his perpetual attraction to your body. eager to show him your mutual affection, you pressed harder against him, keeping your lips shut with your teeth, holding your whines back. the way his hardened part pushed into your thin leggings caused more wetness to add up, an ocean in your panties.
“you turn me on so much” he confessed, unable to control his whining. his hands slowly left your tits in place, following to open your bra from behind, the piece of cloth falling hopelessly on the floor. “more reasons for my hands to hold you close” sunoo whispered, “but i think there’s something else that wants to be held too”
unhesitant, his right hand went down your body, reaching your most sensitive part. he used two fingers to trail a line between your legs, slowly, firmly, just the right way to tease every single bit of you. then the line turned into a circle, your clit being triggered every few seconds, and your moans couldn’t be hidden anymore. you opened your legs apart, giving him more access to your needy cunt, screaming for his touch under the piece of cloth. he noticed so, and pressed harder until your folds were holding onto the leggings, taking the shape of your perfect pussy.
“so pretty” he whispered softly inside you ear, sending the now-lost-number of shivers from today, through your whole body. his voice sounded incredible itself, but his whispering awakened a whole new emotion within you. sunoo could not take a break from feeling your wetness in his hand, his impatient fingers pushing the leggings harder inside you. "do you want more, y/n?" he gave you the right to choose like the gentleman he is and you nodded in response, unable to control yourself.
it only took a second for him to process your answer and stand up while letting you fall, carefully, on the sofa. his figure was so beautiful in the dim light, every line forming his abs almost shadowing his body in small places. his straight shoulder added more masculinity to his aura while his permanent smirk went down your body, his head facing your clothed cunt.
"let's take these off" and in the next moment, your leggings were nowhere to be found. his breathe, hot enough, was now making your panties even more soaked. he stuck his playful tongue out, reaching closer to your pussy while his eyes did not leave yours at all, not for a single minute.
you looked down at him and smiled naively, just as his tongue dragged a wet line along your panties, going from bottom to your clit. he paid extra attention to it, giving it an additional lick to end the first round. you trembled at his touch, your lips covered in biting marks now.
impatiently, sunoo pulled your panties aside, a new image raising ahead of him. “you have such a pretty pussy, sweetheart” he whispered again, giving it a quick lick to make your body shake. he giggled and continued with a second one, this time slower and more precise, his eyes on you still. and then the simple up and down line became a whole maze, his adventurous tongue exploring every single bit of you. and as he felt his tongue wasn’t doing enough to satisfy his taste, sunoo started taking your cunt inside his mouth, feeling your flavour down his throat.
he rolled his eyes back at the taste of that and continued to eat you hungrily, moaning inside you. his hands were now holding onto your thighs firmly, dragging them closer so we could bury his face deeper inside you. on the other side, you threw your head back, whining his name aloud. without hesitation, you pushed his head deeper inside, only receiving more moans from him. not only his moans were loud, but the way he was eating out, like he has been so starved for your taste for years.
“you taste like sugar” he raised his head to say, winking at you teasingly. you giggled and hid your face behind your hands, shy now more than ever. he noticed so and came closer to your face, his fingers trailing along your inner thighs. “want to feel my fingers, baby?” he asked, biting your earlobe softly, but enough to get a whine out of you. you nodded again, unable to find your words, and that’s all it took for him to push his fingers all the way inside you pussy, without any warnings or adjustments.
“sunoo-ya!!” you screamed, your arms around his neck and gazing at his beautiful, precious smile, which turned into a smirk as his fingers rushed to slide outside and inside you, no break, no question, just him aggressively taking over your cunt. it felt so good words couldn’t be formed anymore, regardless of your tries to call out his name. you couldn’t do anything but stutter, eyes rolling back more and more and arms growing weaker around his neck.
“do you like them inside you?” he asked, almost aware of your impossibility to say a word. you tried to nod, again, but not even that was an option anymore. you clenched around his fingers, legs shaking in pleasure. sunoo left more wet kisses around your neck and collarbone, reaching your breasts again. unlike before, now it was his teeth that teased your nipples, nibbling and playfully pulling them towards him. his mouth, unable to resist, took your left tit inside, sucking on it like a baby. which was way too ironic, considering how ruined your pussy was by now, his fingers still going.
“s-sunoo, please s-stop” you managed to say quietly. “shhhh, baby” he whispered, boob still inside his mouth, licking around it loudly and moaning softly. “tonight i am crazy over you” sunoo confessed, as he finally gave your wetness a break, and licked his fingers. “tastes like….mine” he chuckled, pushing his fingers inside your mouth and making you suck on them. you did so, feeling your own taste inside your mouth and relishing it.
“you ask me to stop but the way you clench around my hand…says something else”
sunoo kissed your forehead and sat down next to you. he dragged you closer into his chest, a solemn will for his care and took your hand inside his, placing a final kiss on your skin. “you make me go crazy over you, y/n” he whispered, feeling your delicate skin around. “i don’t have a condom right now, but if you want me to make you feel good again,” he took a small break, turning around to gaze into your eyes “i’ll make sure to bring you to heaven next time”
can you tell i was listening to moonstruck in the last part? hope you enjoyed and feedback is highly appreciated 🤍
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ayyy-pee · 2 days
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𝔼ℙ𝕀𝕊𝕆𝔻𝔼 𝟚 - 𝕀ℕ𝕋ℝ𝕆𝔻𝕌ℂ𝕋𝕀𝕆ℕ𝕊 ℙ𝕋. 𝕋𝕎𝕆
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Discord 18+ - Twitter - Last Episode - Masterlist
Pairing: JJK Men x Female Reader
Episode Summary: Introductions continue! Which one of these contestants will be the first to make an impression on your heart?
STORY TWIST: READERS WILL VOTE AFTER CERTAIN CHAPTERS TO CHOOSE WHO GETS A ROSE AND MAKES IT TO THE NEXT WEEK. KEEP A LOOKOUT FOR THE VOTING LINK AT THE END OF CHAPTERS
Story Warning: DRAMA, lying and scheming, REVERSE HAREM, profanity bc I can only be me, arguments, fights probably, heartbreak and tears, (more to come)
Artist Credit: momoya348, Umbra3terna, ilameys,maoyaoyao519, _0_0219, maron.jp Divider Credit: Cafekitsune (Tumblr)
A/N: sorry for the wait yall! i'd give you an excuse but i know yall don't care LMFAO. enjoy!!!
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The ground is actually shaking as the King of Curses approaches you step by step. Suddenly, you feel a lot like the chauffeur from just a few moments before. Terrified, trembling and sweaty. He was smart, now that you think about it. Hell, you’d have run too if you could! Sukuna’s aura is so heavy, so scary, so damn intense you feel like you may vomit. You’re hoping the camera doesn’t catch the sweat that you can feel beginning to seep from your pores. Every step closer to you, you swear shaves half a year off of your life. And when he’s right in front of you, his four eyes landing on you, so full of disinterest and maybe a little disdain, you pray you don’t piss yourself on live television.
It’s only then that you begin to realize how incredibly massive this man…curse…is. You have to crane your neck, struggling to peer up at his enormous form. He folds his (again…FOUR?!) arms over his chest and frowns, deep and unsatisfied.
“They should teach you some manners, woman,” he grunts. His deep and gravelly voice sends a chill traveling straight up your spine, and you straighten up, causing Sukuna’s lips to curl down in further dissatisfaction. “You hold your head too high,” he speaks.
You raise a brow, and it must be the adrenaline coursing through your veins, because like an absolute idiot, you open your mouth and dumbly mutter, “How? You’re like ten feet tall.”
You could hear a pin drop, hear the way every single crew member inhales and doesn’t dare exhale that breath. You know the cameramen should probably pan over to catch what’s next, but they have more sense than you clearly, because they don’t deign to move an inch. It’s complete silence in the driveway as Sukuna’s gaze pierces yours.
This may be the end for you. And honestly? You’d be okay with that. Sad, sure, but you’ve lived a decent life. Aside from this very brief experience, it was nothing special. But it was comfortable, full of good times. If it’s meant to end here, you don’t think you’d be too upset about it. You just hope that they’ll do you the favor of censoring your probably gory and untimely demise.
Sukuna lifts an arm (one out of four…oh my God, will you ever get over that?), and you squeeze your eyes shut tightly.
‘Here it comes’, you think. The finishing blow. One shot from him and you’ll be wiped from this earth, a smudge on this world’s history. You’ll be forgotten shortly after your end and the world will move on without you.
You blame Utahime for this, because again, if you hadn’t listened to her drunk ass you would be sitting behind a desk doing paperwork. Not on the verge of death before the most powerful being of all time.
But after several seconds, you realize you’ve felt no pain, heard no screams or cries. But instead, a sound of something akin to a chuckle. You open one eye, peeking up to see Sukuna’s large hand come down to pat the top of your head. Gently, at that.
“Funny. I suppose I won’t kill you and your entourage.”
His eyes roam the landscape behind you and the confusion is clear on his face. You suppose it would be rather confusing for an ancient curse to see all the lights, large buildings and technology of today.
“What is this–” he waves a hand in the air. “This place? Why did you all bring me here?”
Now you’re confused. Didn’t he sign up for the show himself?
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Satoru throws his head back, cackles hysterically. “I just thought it’d be fun!” A wide grin sits on his features as he leans back in his seat casually, as relaxed as ever. “Just imagine the strongest modern day Sorcerer alive and the strongest curse in history competing for love of all things.” He sighs, wiping at his eyes as he comes down from his laughter. “Fucking hilarious.”
He’s quiet for a second, then he doubles over, arms wrapping around his core as he succumbs to another fit of giggles. Suddenly, his laughter dies, then he’s throwing his head back in a groan this time. “Dammit. If he goes on a killing rampage, then I’ll have to work!” 
BACK OUTSIDE…
“It’s…The Bachelorette,” you answer Sukuna’s question, your fear slowly dissipating as your casual conversation continues on. Which may be a stupid move on your end. You should keep your guard up. This is the King of Curses in front of you, after all. From what you know, he loves to make someone feel safe only to literally crush them a moment later. 
But also, this is the damn King of Curses in front of you. If he deems it so, your death is already guaranteed. You couldn’t do shit if you had to face a normal curse let alone the strongest among them. 
The cameraman has finally panned around to capture your interaction and Sukuna doesn’t seem the least bit impressed. His expression is flat, very obviously bored. “The what?”
“The Bachelorette,” you repeat and when he fixes you with a deadpan stare, you elaborate further for some reason. “It’s a dating show. Jujutsu Sorcerers compete for the heart of one Bachelorette –” you point to yourself. “Me,” Sukuna frowns further and you match his expression with a frown of your own. “And– alright, don’t look so upset about it.”
‘The nerve of this guy!’
“Why would anyone waste time on this? Finding…love.” Sukuna spits the word out like it’s bitter before he laughs.
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“A pointless venture,” Sukuna grumbles, picking at the paint on one of his many nails. Unfortunately, Sukuna’s size was severely underestimated, which is why the camera is only able to fit his torso into the screen. 
Behind the lens, the director asks shakily, “You don’t believe in love?”
“How would love benefit me? It’s for the weak.” He pauses, his scowl deepening as he folds his arms together. “I should actually kill you for asking me such an imbecilic question.”
BACK OUTSIDE…
“I won’t kill you since this pathetic endeavor you’re on for love will likely be punishment enough for someone like you.” He grins, the venom in his words clear as he speaks. He’s referring to you being a Window — weak, useless, undeserving of love and probably life to someone like him. Sukuna strokes his chin in amusement, eyes roaming along your form. “It will surely be entertaining to watch.”
He looks you over once more, and the fear that returns, rushing through your body makes you dizzy. You feel like you’re on the menu. One wrong move and Sukuna will be having you for dinner…and not in a sexy way.
But instead of acting on whatever temptation he may have, Sukuna simply…vanishes. Though you’re sure he took off and is just way too damn fast for your weak Window eyes to see. Either way, when you’re sure Sukuna is gone, you - and the entire crew - breathe a collective sigh of relief.
“Should we bring in the next contestant?” One of the staff asks nervously and you stare straight into the camera.
“I think I need a break,” you squeak.
Because you’re about ten seconds from shitting yourself.
- - - - - -
The next contestant pulls up shortly after returning from commercial break. You’re back in position at the end of the long red carpet as you wait for him. He exits his limousine quickly, like he’s got somewhere more important to be. And you’re not sure if this show is the important matter at hand.
He’s incredibly handsome, dressed in a nice suit that he adjusts as he makes his way towards you, face set in a serious expression. His deep brown eyes gaze down lifelessly past his large nose as he approaches and you suddenly feel as if you’re under a microscope, just waiting to be picked apart. There’s something unsettling about this man, something that’s putting you on edge. 
Is it normal to feel like someone is taking note of every small movement you make, every involuntary facial tic, even the look in your eyes and filing it away to use against you later? That’s what you feel this man is doing. Just collecting little things about you to throw into your face somewhere down the line.
His glossy black shoes seem to glide along the red carpet and the cameramen must also notice, because the lenses point right to his feet as he goes. He moves so quickly, you hardly have time to breathe before he’s standing before you. And now, you feel your nerves ignite. Suddenly, you feel you should watch what you say, because you can’t help but feel as though you’re on trial for something. And it makes sense because he opens his pretty lips to speak and his words immediately catch you off guard.
“Have you ever been convicted of a misdemeanor or a felony?”
“Um…” Your eyes dart to the camera, brows pulling together in confusion as you chuckle nervously. “No?”
But it’s clear he’s not joking, not a trace of humor in his face as the question hangs between the two of you. The man narrows his eyes, his tiny pupils becoming even smaller if at all possible. “And you’re telling the truth?”
You chuckle awkwardly, your mind screaming “what the actual fuck” on loop. “Ah– What happened to hello? How are you? My name is…”
“I know your name,” he cuts you off. Then he spends the next minute listing off facts about you. He says your name aloud, the sound of it on his tongue sending chills racing up your spine. He lists off your age, occupation, even your friends and their occupations. It’s all a matter of fact, because they are fact. He doesn’t get a single thing wrong.
You think this man is abrasive. Maybe a little scary. And definitely weird.
Weirdly sexy?
Something is so very off with this man, that much is apparent by the exhaustion in his eyes, the way he fidgets with his fingers even while they’re confined in his pockets. But something may be so very off with you as well because you’re finding this mini interrogation of his oddly arousing.
‘Oh my God, can you focus?!’
“And what’s your name?” You finally counter, blinking your filthy thoughts away.
“Higuruma Hiromi,” he states without a beat. His tone is clipped, his eyes assessing you curiously.
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“I suppose I will take your word for it.” He nods, and you fix him with a look of confusion. He waves his hand in the air. “Your criminal record. I’ll accept you saying you’re not a convict of some sort.”
“Ah,” you nod. “Well, glad you decided to trust me,” you smile shyly, and Higuruma frowns.
“I didn’t. Judgeman did.” He gestures behind him, and your eyes follow the path to where an enormous, terrifying blob floats in the air. You’re not sure how you missed that. 
‘Probably because you were too busy undressing Hiromi with your eyes?’
You clear your throat, glancing up at Higuruma. The stitch-eyed curse behind him simply sits there, staring into space. “Seeing as there’s no cursed technique for me to confiscate from you, it’s safe to assume you’re of no actual threat here. And also unlikely that you’ve committed gross atrocities given you are currently starring in this television dating show. I would imagine they would complete a thorough background check on you.” 
Now you frown. “Are you saying that I’m boring?”
Higuruma shakes his head, the tiniest of smirks sitting at the corners of his mouth. “On the contrary. The fact that you’re so normal…it actually makes you all the more endearing.” Your heart rate picks up, his honesty and compliment(?) making you the slightest bit flustered.
He sighs, tilting his head back to look up to the night sky. Like he’s reminiscing about something. “I only recently came to be a part of this world, the Jujutsu world, and I miss my old shitty life sometimes.”
The sudden deep confession surprises you. You expected this way later down the road given how closed off he was just moments before. It seems a flip has switched now that he knows you’re not some crook out to commit heinous crimes. You’re grateful for it, as well.
You can relate to Hiromi a bit. You also had no reason to be a part of the Jujutsu world, and yet you’ve found yourself smack dab in the middle of it as you chase after love with some of the most powerful Sorcerers you’ve ever laid eyes on. These are men you would have never crossed paths with in your daily life. And now, they will be fighting (hopefully not literally) each other to have you in the end. 
“Well, I know this experience is so far from normal, but I appreciate you coming, anyway.” You bow slightly in his curse’s direction. “And thank you, Judgeman, for proving to Hiromi that I’m not a convicted felon,” you tack on jokingly.
This is apparently what was needed to break just the tiniest bit through Higuruma’s walls because the corners of his lips curl up just a bit more as he peers down at you. He mutters your name once more, reaching a hand out to take yours. “I’m beginning to think it wasn’t a mistake to come here. It was a pleasure to meet you.”
He takes his leave shortly after, and the director calls for another commercial break. You take this time to head to your trailer offset for a quick touchup on your makeup. As you sit in your makeup chair, you wonder how the guys are doing…
INSIDE THE MANSION
Satoru groans obnoxiously from his side of the couch, beside Nanami. “Is anyone else going to show up? I’m so bored!”
“You could always leave and go back to your actual job,” Nanami quips. “I’m sure The Strongest is needed literally anywhere else but here.”
Satoru puts a hand to his chest dramatically, mouth falling open with a gasp. “You are so mean to me, Nanami.” He grins, nudging Nanami with his shoulder. “You trying to get rid of the competition already?”
He’s met with silence from the blonde, who simply folds his arms and closes his eyes, choosing to ignore his senior.
“You’re hardly any competition,” Suguru snorts on the other side of Nanami.
“I’m the only competition here. Be serious,” Satoru argues, standing from his seat. “Who wouldn’t want to be with The Strongest?”
“Me, or really anyone who loves themselves,” Suguru deadpans.
Satoru rolls his eyes behind his glasses. “You’re an anomaly. Besides, you both know I’m right. No offense, but Nanami is frugal, stiff and kinda boring. You’re a wanted mass murderer with strange looking people as followers, and I haven’t met any of the other guys to know what they’re like, but I can bet–”
The door to the mansion swings open and in walks Higuruma. His wide eyes roam across the room, landing first on Suguru who assesses him with vague interest. Then Nanami, who only glances over to him briefly before resuming his position. Then Satoru, who stands with his hands in the air, obviously in the middle of making a point before Higuruma had arrived.
“Who the hell are you?” Satoru scoffs, unimpressed.
“Satoru–”
“Satoru–”
Suguru and Nanami chide in unison.
“Must you always be so crass?” Suguru questions, pinching the bridge of his nose. It’s been so long since he’d been in the presence of his former best friend, he’d forgotten how annoying he could be. 
“Higuruma Hiromi,” the newer man states as he moves across the room, not caring in the least about Satoru’s tone. He takes a seat on the sofa opposite of the three men, observing his surroundings.
“Nanami Kento,” Nanami introduces himself when the other two fail to speak up. He offers a seated bow, to which Higuruma returns.
“Geto Suguru,” Suguru’s soft voice floats across the room, though he doesn’t offer a polite bow the same way Nanami does. Perhaps if he were the old Suguru he may have, but he’s long past bowing to others. If anything, others should bow to him.
“Gojo Satoru,” the white haired man mutters, rolling his eyes.
Higuruma nods, eyes landing at the buffet in the corner of the large space, staring. “...And who is he?”
All heads turn to the buffet where a massive man stands with a plate of food. His face has stray grains of rice littered around his lips, which is stuffed with tonight’s dinner. He scoops a large spoonful into his mouth, nodding to the other men as he chews.
He’s tall, so tall that his height rivals Satoru’s. Shaggy, black hair covers the most beautiful green eyes. And when he grins, his pretty lips spread wide, the scar running through both his top and bottom lips accenting his features.
This man is gorgeous, they’re all thinking it.
Not to mention, he’s fucking ripped. A skintight black shirt hardly does much to cover every hard muscle of his body. His wide shoulders and thick arms look as though he could crush them all without much thought. And he could. He has.
“Zenin…” Satoru and Suguru speak through gritted teeth.
“Fushiguro,” the man corrects them, taking another bite of his food.
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“What the fuck are you doing here?” Suguru questions, standing from his seat. His eyes narrow, hands clenched into fists at his side. It’s been a decade since he laid eyes on the man who altered his entire world, and he’s not someone he wanted to see again. He’s lucky Satoru let him off with his life after their last encounter.
“Placing bets on who the broad out there ends up with,” the man laughs loudly with a full mouth. “Bet it’s none of you, though.”
At this, Satoru bursts into a fit of giggles, laughing so hard he doubles over. “I’ll take you up on that bet. Seeing as you’ve never won one in your life, should be easy for me.”
Toji only grins, taking another bite of his food.
“Please don’t tell me you’re also participating for her heart,” Suguru sighs, feeling a headache coming on.
Toji shrugs. “Does it matter?”
At this, Satoru groans, flopping back down on the couch with Nanami. “Who invited the damn geezer to the show? Thought this was for real Sorcerers.”
Nanami inhales deeply. “She’s not a Sorcerer, either,” he states.
“That’s different,” Satoru doesn’t miss a beat. “She’s a Window, so she’s in our world at least.”
It’s true. In Satoru’s eyes, you’re weak, but at least you have enough cursed energy to see the atrocities around you. You won’t see a curse only when you’re on death’s door, you’ll see one before they strike. And sure, you can’t do anything about it, but that’s what he’s for. He doesn’t mind playing protector to someone who at least resides on his side of the fence. It’s what he’s always done anyway. Why not do it for someone he could potentially love?
It also helps that you’re easy on the eyes.
“Hardly, but I do see your point,” Suguru agrees. He takes the spot next to Higuruma on the other sofa. “Doesn’t matter. I’m here for one reason, and it’s her.”
An obnoxious yawn comes from the other side of the room, Toji now leaning against the wall. “When does she show up, anyway?”
The other four look absolutely bewildered, eyes wide and brows pulled together. 
“What…” Suguru asks. “You didn’t go meet her?”
“Was I supposed to?”
“Yes!” Satoru yells from his seat. “How the hell did you even get in here? Past all the cameras?!”
Toji purses his lips together, scratching his head while he racks his memory. Then he shrugs, like he came up short. “Guess I followed the smell of the food.”
BACK OUTSIDE…
You fidget with your fingers as you watch as another limousine pulls up. You’re exhausted, and honestly ready for this whole introduction ordeal to be done. It’s so late, definitely after 9pm, and even after all this, you still have to head inside of the mansion to mingle with the men. You would really rather go to sleep, finally crawl into bed after such a long and tiring day. But there are several eligible bachelors eagerly awaiting your arrival.
And here comes another one.
The door to the vehicle swings open, and a very nice Prada combat boot hits the floor. Out steps the one of the most attractive men you’ve ever seen in your life. Tall, muscular, and so damn pretty, you’re almost jealous. Even with the distance between you two, you can see how perfect his face is.
Already, he’s made an impression because he’s not dressed to the nines in a suit and tie like the other men you’ve met tonight. Instead, he wears casual clothing, with a loose sleeveless shirt and black jeans. His hair is messy, tied up into two high ponytails that sit atop his head. And even then, he looks just as good as the others.
Something about him looks familiar to you, though you can’t quite place where you could’ve seen him before all of this.
As the man approaches, the lights from the camera crew illuminate his face. You can make out deep purple bags that sit beneath his eyes. He looks as tired as Hiromi, more even. There’s a thick black stripe that runs along his face. A tattoo, maybe? He’s pale, the moonlight casting an almost ethereal glow over him.
‘Why the hell are all these Sorcerers so fucking hot?’
You try to keep it in your pants, focusing on the sound of the chains of this man’s boots jingling softly with each step until he’s standing in front of you. His deep brown eyes rake over your body before they find your eyes. His lips curl into a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but it’s not disingenuous any sort of way. More like he’s very nervous and trying very hard to not come off that way.
“Hi,” you throw him a lifeline, the camera capturing the way you smile encouragingly.
“Hi.” 
You offer him your name, trying to loosen him up because he looks like he feels so out of place. There’s something off about him that you can’t quite put your finger on.
“I’m Choso.”
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“It’s so nice to meet you, Choso. Tell me about yourself.”
Your question breathes life into the man, his face brightening up as he proceeds to tell you all about his brothers. He’s the oldest of four, you find out. And he’s very doting and loving to all three of his younger brothers. You find it adorable, the way he raves about each of them and their special talents that they have. Unfortunately, you don’t have too much time to let him continue.
“You’re very beautiful,” he compliments you suddenly, and you can’t stop the shy smile now spreading along your features that matches the one sitting on Choso’s. 
“Thank you. You are so handsome.” 
Choso beams, and then he does something that surprises you. He wraps his arms around your form, enveloping you in his warmth. He smells incredible, and expensive. You return the gesture, and for some reason, all the stressful buildup of tonight seems to just melt away.
When he releases you, you see the soft smile sitting on his lips and you just know you can’t wait to see more of it. This man is an absolute sweetheart.
“Can’t wait to get to talk with you more tonight,” he says softly, and you don’t miss the light dusting of pink coloring his cheeks now.
“Me too.”
Your teeth dig into your bottom lip, nibbling at the soft flesh as Choso takes your hand and squeezes gently. What began as an awkward encounter ended up being a sweet meeting between you and the man now heading into the mansion. You’re so excited to–
Wait. You think you know why he looks so familiar!
You spin on your heel, turning to call after him. He turns to face you, a questioning look at his face. “Um…have you ever skateboarded before?” You yell across the courtyard.
At this, Choso’s brows pull together, head tilting to the side. He’s so obviously confused. “Skateboarding? No, why?”
You shake your head, chuckling with embarrassment. “No reason…you just…looked kind of familiar.”
- - - - - -
Jesse appears again once the cameras are set back up after another commercial break. He’s all poised as he grins at you. You haven’t seen him since you both first arrived on set, but he lets you know that he will be seeing you more often now that the introductions are complete.
“So, you’ve met all of the men,” he begins, the camera moving back to catch you both in frame. 
“Oh, that was everyone?” You could have sworn there was one more person who was supposed to show up.
“How are you feeling about them so far? Any you’re looking forward to spending more time with?”
Your mind goes through every man who has appeared so far, building a list of what appealed to you most about them. And you really like them all. There’s no way you could choose right now, not when there’s still so much to learn about each of them. You can’t wait to get some alone time. You tell Jesse as much, his response an amused shake of his head. “Looks. like you’ve got your work cut out for you, then.”
“Oh, absolutely. They’re all incredible. I could definitely see my husband being one of these men.”
And it’s a crazy thing to think, that at the end of all of this, you’ll likely be engaged and ready to marry someone.
“But—,” Jesse interjects. “You are down one contestant. Sukuna has chosen to leave the show…”
The camera moves closer to catch the nod of your head. Your brief stint with the King of Curses is not one you think you’ll forget any time soon, if ever. He could have ended this journey for you before it even began. He spared you, mainly for his own entertainment, but still. You came face to face with the King of Curses, and you of all people, lived. Not many can say that. Especially non-Sorcerers.
Jesse tells you that it’s time to get some one on one time with the guys and leads you to the mansion where they all wait. Your heart races in your chest as you approach the enormous doors, stopping just outside of them. You can hear the loud chatter inside, the men laughing raucously as they discuss whatever has them behaving so lively. You’re excited to finally be moving into this next phase of the process. You want to get to know each of them as soon as possible.
“You ready?” Jesse questions, his smile giving you a boost of confidence. “You’ve got this. Go in with an open mind, and an open heart. The man of your dreams awaits you inside.”
You laugh, and it’s all nerves, because that may be the scariest and most exciting part of this entire journey. “I don’t know how you did this, Jesse,” you chuckle dyly, to which Jesse lightly places a hand on your shoulder where he squeezes gently.
“Hey, you’re a smart girl. You’ll be able to find who you’re looking for. Remember…open mind, open heart. Can’t go wrong there.”
You swear you hear some of the staff swoon behind the camera, the crew sure to catch this interaction between you and your host, and it makes you grin. You can see why Jesse’s season of The Bachelor was so popular, and why he’s now the host of both franchises. So you nod, letting Jesse know that you’re ready to head inside to spend time with your men.
He pulls the double doors open for you and you head inside, straight through the doorway and into the living room where the men await. Jesse moves swiftly ahead of you, signaling for you to wait for a moment just outside of the living room, in the hall while he heads down the steps into the main room. 
”Gentlemen,” he announces his presence, and they all stand when they see the host. There’s an eruption of noise, the men greeting Jesse eagerly. Your heart beats wildly in your chest, knowing that in just a few moments, you’ll be seeing them all again. You can’t wait. 
“I know you’re all ready to see ___,” Jesse continues. “How are you feeling about her so far?” Jesse’s eyes land on the blonde man standing quietly, his hands hidden in his pockets to hide the way he fidgets nervously. “Nanami,” Jesse calls. “What’s your first impression?”
Nanami purses his lips together, carefully gathering his thoughts before he speaks. He’s unsure if there is a word that’s strong enough to describe how he felt about you upon first meeting. And he’s not sure if he’s capable of expressing how he felt upon laying eyes on you. Even still, he means it when he says, “An absolute beauty.”
The other men nod in agreement. “Definitely a sight to behold,” Choso adds. “Very sweet, too.” He says it with certainty, like there’s no doubt in his mind that you’re a kind person. He’d like to think that he’s pretty good at reading people. He’s been studying humans for quite some time, after all. You are one of the good ones, he’s sure of it. Your energy makes him feel comfortable, and he tells Jesse this as well.
Jesse beams, impressed with how the men already seem to be taken by you. “That’s great to hear. Now, I do have some unfortunate news or maybe it’s fortunate depending on how you see it.”
There’s a brief pause, which the camera crew uses to capture each contestant's face, making sure they capture any nerves on their features.
“One contestant has chosen not to continue participating in the competition.”
At this, Satoru snorts, garnering the attention of several others, but he lets Jesse continue.
“Sukuna has opted out of the competition.”
“Good,” Suguru interjects. “One less body.”
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“Honestly, I couldn’t give a shit if someone left,” he yawns, leaning back against the confessional room’s sofa. “Send the rest of them home, too.” 
He’s aware he sounds like a dick, too confident in himself, but why shouldn’t he be? He’s got so much to offer you, so much that the others can’t provide. He’s confident that with one person gone, he’ll be able to get that much closer to you. He picks at his nails in boredom before he asks. “Who even invited him, anyway?” 
The wheels turn in his head until he puts 2 and 2 together, chuckling quietly to himself. 
“It was Satoru, wasn’t it?”
BACK INSIDE…
“Can we please circle back to the bit about Sukuna?” Nanami speaks up this time. “You just casually had the King of Curses outside to compete for…” He clears his throat, as though the term itself makes him uncomfortable. “Love”. His eyes land on Satoru, because he’s positive it couldn’t have been anyone else who could have thrown this together but him.
The man in question shrugs mischievously, poking his tongue out when his gaze meets Nanami’s. He tries not to smile too hard at the scowl he receives from his colleague in return.
“How on earth were we meant to survive that?” Higuruma chimes in now. His eyes are round with disbelief. “Wait…did ___ meet with him?” 
Jesse nods. “Yes, and they actually had a pretty pleasant conversation. Though Sukuna wasn’t interested in moving forward.” The camera pans over to Higuruma who now seems lost in thought, no longer paying the host much mind. Jesse takes this beat of silence as his cue to continue forward. “Well, our lady of the hour is waiting patiently to have some much needed one on one time with you. Let's get her in here.”
Now, that’s your cue.
You enter the space, feeling the tension rise between the guys immediately, even as they all applaud upon your arrival. Your eyes take in each and every familiar face. It’s nice to see all of the men you’ve had the pleasure of speaking with for a few brief moments. You can’t wait to get alone time with each —
Hold on a minute.
Your eyes land on one man who sticks out like a sore thumb. From across the room, right next to the buffet, a pair of emerald eyes bore into your own, and you feel your heart rate pick up. You’ve never seen this man before. At least you don’t think you have. You have met quite a few people tonight and it’s all been a bit overwhelming. It’s perfectly possible that he slipped your mind after meeting. Though as you drink in the way his eyes shimmer even in the dim lighting, his chiseled features and the deep scar through both his lips, you highly doubt you’d be able to forget a face like that. 
Perhaps he’s another staff member, hired to man the buffet table. If so, he’s doing a piss poor job at it seeing as he’s holding a plate of half eaten food in his hands. He has to be a contestant, right? How could he have gotten past you? Even with your embarrassingly small amount of cursed energy, you feel like you would have picked up on his presence.
The camera swings around, cutting off your vision of the man, and in the blink of an eye he's gone. There’s a pang of disappointment, and a bit of confusion. You feel as if you imagined him. But you don’t have time to dwell on the mystery man your mind conjured up, because you need to focus on the men who are actually here. You turn your attention back to the ones you do know… only to be met again with the face of the stranger from just seconds ago as he stands right before you.
You almost piss yourself from the shock.
His gaze now roams your form, the smallest hint of a smile on his lips. He’s incredibly obvious in the way that he assesses you. And even more obvious in the way he seems to be enjoying what he sees. He slips his hands into his pockets, eyes once again staring straight into yours as he backs away to stand with the other men. “Well,” he hums, not breaking eye contact. “I was gonna snag some food and head out, but I think I’ll stick around…to observe.”
“Sorry,” Jesse interrupts. “But this show is only for those who signed up to participate.”
The mystery man rolls his eyes. “I’m already on the list.”
Jesse shakes his head. “We didn’t see you outside. There’s a proper process to follow here. You’re supposed to meet our Bachelorette,” he motions to you, and you smile awkwardly. “Why didn’t you come through the front door?”
“I’m meeting her now, aren’t I?” He questions, and Jesse nods, because technically he’s not wrong.
“Well, yes, but you should have come through the front,” Jesse argues weakly. 
Toji snorts. “Front door,back door, doesn’t really make a difference to me.” He says this shamelessly as he looks right at you, and you can’t help it! Your mouth drops open, just enough to get a reaction out of the man. The camera quickly captures the grin that spreads on his face when he sees your expression. “Unless it matters to you, sweetheart,” he teases.
You pick your jaw up off the floor, the camera moving around to get your response. You can’t possibly let him one up you on your own show. So you match his smirk, teasingly responding, “I mean…let's wait until we get to know each other a little better to find out.”
It’s the best response you can give in the moment, in front of a room full of men patiently (and hungrily) waiting to get even a smidge of your attention. And clearly it was a good rebuttal. The man’s smirk only widens. You can hear the staff muttering quietly behind you, clearly speaking into the earpiece that you know Jesse wears. You watch as the cameras move to capture the tension between this man and Jesse, who is now pursing his lips together in displeasure. “Are you a…Sorcerer then?” 
He stares Jesse down, and you don’t miss the way his jaw ticks just barely before he grits out a low and gravelly, “sure”. But Jesse doesn’t seem to notice. He simply nods, asking his name.
“Toji Fushiguro.”
Jesse sighs, his friendly host mask slipping just a for a second before he recovers. He claps his hands together, turning towards you with a grin that you’re certain is not genuine in the least. 
“Looks like we’ve got another man vying for your heart, ___. How are you feeling about it?”
You tear your gaze away from Toji, nodding to Jesse. “Hey, the fun of the Bachelorette are the surprises, right? I’m definitely looking forward to getting to know Toji a little more.”
Jesse throws his head back with a laugh. “Glad to see you being a good sport about it! Speaking of surprises, we have just one more.”
The doors to the mansion swing open suddenly, cutting Jesse’s monologue off. The sounds of light footsteps fill the space, and you watch the way Toji crosses his arms, how Satoru rolls his eyes, and how Suguru’s nostrils flare. Clearly, whoever is entering the building isn’t welcome. 
Jesse continues his speech. “I know you were looking forward to having time to get to know each of these men one on one, and you will get that chance, I promise. But…”
The cameraman hurries to catch the sight of shoes, slowly walking down the same steps you took into the living space and you spin around to follow the view. As the camera slowly coasts up the form entering the room, so do your eyes, trailing over the tall, well dressed young man who appears before you.
“You’ve gotten a brief moment to talk to each man, have gotten a good feel for who you want to move forward with, I’m sure.”
It’s not really a question. Jesse states this as though it’s a fact, and as far as this show is concerned, it is. Even if you don’t feel as if you’ve gotten enough time with the men, they feel that you have. And all you feel is a tight knot forming in the pit of your stomach, because you’re sure whatever’s coming is bad news.
“You’ll still get your one on one time with each guy, don’t worry, but at the end of it all,” Jesse turns to face all of the men. “___ will be giving out a rose to each man she thinks should continue forward on this journey with her. However, only one of you will be leaving here without a rose.”
“And him?” Choso questions, staring down the man standing behind you.
“Ah, right. Everyone, meet Sukuna’s replacement.”
The man moves ahead of you, taking your hand in his and pressing a sweet kiss to your knuckles. He’s as beautiful as the rest of the men, and you wonder again how it’s possible for every damn person in the Sorcerer world to be so damn good looking. 
The man has a smile that reminds you a bit of Toji’s, but that’s the only resemblance he shares with the older man. The eyeliner around his eyes looks better than your own, accentuating the color of his eyes, and his hair that goes from blonde to brown at the tips hangs loosely in his face, giving him an edgy look. The multiple black earrings decorating his ears adds to his style, and your heart flutters when he leans forward boldly and presses another kiss to your cheek.
He stands back, letting himself fully appreciate the view. He strokes his chin lazily, nodding seemingly in approval before he mutters, “Not bad.”
Your brows knit together, head tilting to the side as you reply with a quiet thanks. You introduce yourself, gently pulling your hand from his grip. “It’s nice to meet you…”
The man shakes his head, a cocky grin on his face as he speaks. “I’m sure it’s very nice for someone of your…” He looks you up and down, almost amused at what he sees. “...standing to meet someone like me.” It’s all he says, turning on his heel and moving across the room to stand with the other men without another word.
‘Okay, kind of an asshole,’ you think. ‘A hot asshole, but–’
“I didn’t get your name,” you call after him, trying to reel your thoughts in.
He cards a hand through his hair smoothly. “Zenin Naoya.”
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Jesse takes over, explaining that while the rose ceremony will still take place, Naoya will be immune as he is taking Sukuna’s place at the last minute. 
As your eyes roam across the room, taking in the sight of all of the men here competing for a chance at love with you, of all people, you can’t help but feel guilty that shortly, you’ll be having one on one time with each of them only to end up sending one home. They each have made your heart race, each have left an impression on you, each have made you feel something. You’re not sure if you could imagine sending any of these amazing men home.
The camera swings towards your face, capturing every bit of tension in your features as your mind reels with the idea of making such a difficult decision.
Your 1 on 1 time begins now,” Jesse announces. “And ___?”
“Yes, Jesse?” You respond, being pulled out of your thoughts.
Jesse offers you a tiny smile, this time it’s genuine. It’s a smile that understands exactly what you’re experiencing, what you’re feeling. He gently pats your shoulder as he moves towards the exit. “Good luck.”
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It's Voting Time!!!
Follow the link below to vote for the Sorcerer you think should NOT receive a rose and move on to the next round!
COMING UP ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF BACHELORETTE KAISEN:
The guys get one on one time with you, and one man will be sent home without a rose! (Remember that Naoya is immune!)
CLICK HERE TO VOTE - Voting closes in ONE WEEK on 10/1!
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anemoiashifts · 11 hours
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why you should stop consuming media if you want to shift.
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where your attention goes, is where energy will follow. the more you focus on something, the more real it becomes.
⭑.ᐟ i made a post a while ago saying “why you should get off social media if you want to shift”. id like to expand upon that a little more. so, here’s a “why you should stop consuming media” or at the very least “why you should consume media carefully”.
you are being programmed through everything — social media, music lyrics, television, advertising, the news. this is why meta wants tiktok b@nn3d so badly. its taking away their ability to control & their influence upon you because average people spend more time on tiktok then anything else. this can be extended to news networks because more and more people are using it as news sources. media, not just social, need your attention in order to program you. as someone who has taken classes marketing, the core of what my class was, was teaching someone to be the best manipulator. my professor said to always “play on people’s emotions”. anything that has the ability to take your attention away & live in a negative & distracted stake, is taking away your ability to create the life you want to live. a lot of — if not everything — is about power & controlling you for someones benefit.
taking this into account, you can now begin to understand why television shows are called television programs. it is programming you to think & behave & make purchases. for example, the human mind does not know the difference between real & fake. if something provokes an emotion out of you — that emotion it is still real, even it was brought on by fiction. the human brain cannot truly comprehend fiction. this is why people form such emotional attachments to fictional characters because our brains cannot distinguish that they are a character or a scenario is not real.
power comes from your attention & what you focus on; what emotion it provokes.
₊˚⊹♡ why is this relevant ?
your thoughts & feelings create your reality.
by waking up every morning after a shifting attempt & saying “i didn’t shift, im not in my desired reality” is what you’re affirming to yourself. when you roll over & scroll on your phone, you are taking your attention away from persisting that you are in the wish fulfilled. you aren’t focusing on that you have already shifted. every shifting tiktok video is affirming that you aren’t in your desired reality. it’s reinforcing that idea of “you’ll shift tonight” “who would do this in your desired reality” “___ in my desired reality” — that you are still here. it’s hardly ever said “you’ve already shifted” on tiktok. again, this circles back to “playing on people’s emotions” — desperation & excitement. keeping people in a loop of shifting content instead of actually wanting to experience it for yourself. i will admit, practically everyone is guilty of this — self included. it definitely doesn’t come from a place of malice & i doubt it’s always intentional on anyone’s part but it’s something to consider that every shifting video you come across is a reminder that you haven’t shifted yet.
limit what you consume. for example, if you keep listening to a sad song, you’re going to be sad & pulled back into a time in your life that no longer serves you. it removes you from the present. the brain has no concept of time as it is a man-made idea. by eliminating media entirely (or limiting / being mindful of what is being fed to you & taking nothing at face value), you are getting that power back.
media keeps you distracted. it keeps you focused on other things & not your manifestations. it constantly brings back you into the 3d. the longer you’re focused on the 3d, the further away you will be removed from your manifestations & you will be pulled into things that fuel others desires.
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pseudophan · 3 days
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did you not like wad? whenever i see you mention it i detect a hint of eyeroll
i like the show itself but something about that whole time period.... idk i'm bitter about it lmao i defended dan a lot as it was going on but now that we're back in the good days i'm like god that was all SO annoying actually. i totally understand him wanting to do his own thing for awhile and i don't hold any of that against him but it was like, the way they just ended Dan And Phil on the day out of nowhere and then i'm meant to give a fuck about dan's solo projects like no fuck you you don't get to just leave with zero warning and ghost all your fans but still expect them to care about your projects. except he does technically get to do that and i did care about his projects and again like i getttt it i just think if he'd given us like idk, a month's warning maybe, at least, the whooole thing would feel different. alas he did not. so wad and dystopia daily and the book and all of that are projects i consider objectively pretty good but i can't ever wholeheartedly genuinely enjoy any of it the way i wish i could cause it just makes me really sad and kinda pissed off
none of this matters anymore though, water under the bridge, that's kinda what this entire tour is about and if they're willing to let our past transgressions go then i'm willing to let that go. also it's evident dan does feel really bad about it dhcjshxjd that's the thing about parasocial relationships like does he actually owe us anything at all? nah. but at the same time, profiting off of your audience being so emotionally attached to you does make it a bit of a dick move to suddenly just vanish into nothing and he clearly agrees with that like i'm not gonna spoil any specifics of the tour for those who haven't seen it but it's very much a message of "we forgive you for x and hope you can forgive us for y and lets all move forward into this new era without resentment" and idk i really appreciated that
but yeah as much as i'm not actually upset with dan anymore i do still get kinda bitchy about that era lmao idk if i have it in me to fully get over it. it obviously also doesn't help that it coincided with when my own life kinda stopped like there i was back in my childhood bedroom in a town i hate with no friends and no job and nothing to do and even fuckass danisnotonfire had decided he didn't want anything to do with me anymore??? like damn okay fuck my life i guess
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thesunshinebunny · 1 day
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you could do headcanons about diasomnia discovering that your crush (fem reader) is two-faced and can deceive and manipulate anyone with her. Imagine the similar personality of Roxana Agriche.
Dude, not gonna lie, I had to do a little bit of research and homework to make this request. I'm not very familiar with manhwas, so this blew my mind. Hope u like it, and have a great afternoon :**
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Malleus
Malleus would initially be deeply disillusioned. He has always valued transparency and sincerity, so discovering that the one he admired has been manipulating people would shake him to his core.
It would be a silent disappointment, he wouldn't get angry, or yell, or confront you in front of people. He would simply give you a sad look.
He might take some time alone at first, moving away from you, to have some time to think. His distant attitude might even become even more pronounced.
Even if it were hours, even days apart, Malleus wouldn't stop watching you from afar and following you, taking extreme care for you not to distinguish him in the crowd or in the distance. He wanted to witness your manipulative tactics if nothing in his speech had made you rethink…
Or if you were sincerely ashamed of your attitude. Whichever came first. And… well, it seems that was the first option.
He saw you, walking calmly and solemnly down the corridor outside the position class, approaching a student. You smiled at him, but not that tender and sweet smile you only gave to Malleus… no.
It was a persuasive smile, accompanied by firm and merely attractive body language. The soon-to-be king was watching from a distance your characteristic persuasion tactic, to have a jar of who knows what position for the class.
Despite his initial shock and disappointment, his fascination with you might lead him to try to understand your motivations. Pass your classes and exams at all costs.
He'd be conflicted between his respect for your intelligence and his disapproval of deceit.
Ultimately, he might approach the situation with a cautious respect, wary of being deceived again but unable to completely sever his feelings for you.
After all, he even likes to use his charming smile to mislead his opponents, and to get your sweet kisses to land on his.
Lilia
With his playful and mischievous nature, he might find the situation oddly amusing at first. C’mon, we’re talking about Lilia here. Did you really think he’d be disappointed either way?
Yeah, that would be a surprise… interesting.
He’d see parallels between your deceptive abilities and his own penchant for tricks and pranks. However, as he realizes the depth of your manipulation, he’d become more introspective, seeing it as a sign of deeper emotional wounds or desires.
Lilia might try to probe into your past and understand the reasons behind your dual nature, perhaps even using his own deceptive skills to draw out your true self.
He’d like to see your manipulation in action, in the front row if possible. And it wasn’t complicated and he didn’t have to wait long, to be honest. At lunchtime, sitting quietly in the dining room, you were strategically placed in front of a group of students who, coincidentally, owed you a couple of favors.
It was at that moment that Lilia fell in love with you for the second time. Watching you use a magnetic, almost magical charisma to gain the trust and sympathy of those students; watching you order them to bring the most exquisite food that the cafeteria could provide, without you or Lilia having to spend a single madol.
It's as if Lilia were seeing his old self, younger obviously and more rebellious.
His approach would be more about playful manipulation than outright confrontation. He would manifest as a mix of curiosity and amusement, as if he were intrigued by your emotional complexity.
Likewise, Lilia tends to find fascination in the unexpected. He would see your manipulative nature as a new enigma to decipher.
He would use his ability to play with words and persuasion to make you reflect anyway, a little, on your actions, with the aim of making you see the consequences of your behavior without imposing a change on you.
If there is any hint of regret in your being, good for you, and if not…we are in a school for villains after all. We have to spice up the atmosphere from time to time.
But, after so many years, after so many students and classes taken, after so many actions taken, good, bad, beautiful and Machiavellian…what is life without a little fun.
Silver
Now we are entering into some pretty dangerous territory, we can say that the least would be doubtful and conflictive.
Silver’s reaction would be one of confusion and hurt. His straightforward, honest demeanor means he struggles with deceit and manipulation.
Learning that you, someone he deeply cares for, have been deceiving people would lead to a period of emotional turmoil for him. He’d likely distance himself to process his feelings, feeling betrayed and uncertain about his own ability to trust.
Of a calm and reserved nature, Silver would experience an internal anger that would manifest itself in isolation and silence.
Like Malleus, he would not shout, nor get angry openly. Silver would process his feelings in solitude, try to pass the time and calm down, taking a nap, but the gravity of your actions, for him, were impossible to ignore with a nap.
He would have many doubts, about him, about your relationship. Would you have been honest with him from the beginning, or was he just another pawn in your game? Were your feelings genuine or were you looking for something in return?
Devastated was an understatement.
However, once he’s had time to reflect, he might come to realize that understanding and forgiveness are important, and he’d seek to reconcile with you if he believes your intentions weren’t wholly malicious.
Please tell him that your intentions, at least towards him, are not malicious. Our baby needs reassurance.
If your explanation is sincere and you really give him a convincing enough excuse, maybe…maybe Silver will open up once more and you can reconcile.
He might even ask Lilia for advice on how to deal with this new attitude of yours that reminds him so much of his fath…I mean, this bicolor goblin.
Sebek
Sebek’s reaction would be intense and dramatic. His unwavering loyalty to Malleus and his straightforward, sometimes brash personality means he would take the revelation of your duplicity as a personal affront.
His reaction… would be too explosive, like, a very explosive anger. He would feel personally betrayed. Let’s not even talk about his comments, if in everyday life he is very direct and impulsive, having a discussion of this caliber… ugh, good luck.
He’d be openly critical and confrontational, struggling to reconcile his admiration for you with his anger at your deception.
Sebek would likely demand answers and an explanation, and his reaction would be fueled by this mix of disappointment and betrayal.
He needed some time to cool down and keep his composure; days in which he spent observing your behavior, watching as his classmates bombarded you with information that you later used to shape classes in your favor.
Or how the existential drama of some Heartslabyul students served as fuel for your debates against Riddle every weekend… spoiler alert, you always ended up winning the love of those poor souls.
Your manipulation may not have been entirely malicious, but it wasn't something Sebek really approved of.
Over time, he might come to understand your perspective if you manage to earnestly explain your actions, though his initial reaction would be far from forgiving.
While his approach might be aggressive, his primary motivation would be to seek a resolution and make sure you understand the seriousness of your behavior.
PS: You didn't, but you learned to keep your levels of manipulation more camouflaged. A win-win
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