#and i was so sad about it but what can i do? nothing

[classyrbf]

Hiii, i love your blog sosomuch. can i req like angst/comfort fic nanami? maybe nanami is like a bittttttt of an ass

ARE YOU STILL MINE! — NANAMI KENTO

SYNOPSIS...you feel as though your husband has become too distant from you and your marriage is hanging on by a thread

INFO...nanami x fem!reader, nanami is bit mean, mentions of cheating but no actual cheating, angst (obvi), reader is insecure with herself, mentions of divorce, comfort at the end, not proofread

OTHER...likes and reblogs are appreciated

thank you so much anon, I hope you enjoy your request!

At first it started out with him staying at work later than usual, coming home at strange times in the night where you had fallen asleep on the couch because you were waiting for him. He’d merely just glance at you, thinking you opted for the couch rather than the bed, walking into the room to go to bed instead of waking you. Then, he started talking less, being very distant, dry with his responses every time you’d brought up an interest of yours. He’d play with his food, moving it around on the plate like a picky child while humming responses. Then, you started not seeing him at all, every morning you opened your eyes he was gone and every night you couldn’t bear staying awake any longer than needed. And lastly, you began to feel alone, the house that you shared with your husband started to feel like you were now sharing it with a roommate. Was your marriage on the brink of divorce?

Another morning, another day of waking up to an empty bed. You rolled over, the sheet crinkled from where he slept but ultimately felt cold. It was a daily routine for you now, though you can’t grow accustomed to it no matter what you do. Its disappointing. Sad. All of your friends gush about their husbands bringing them gifts, going on vacation, and the cherry on top was soon one of your friends was having a baby. You sat there the whole time, staring off into the distance because you couldn’t remember the last time kento had even got you a gift, let alone uttered a word to you.

You stared at the diamond ring that adorned your finger, contemplating if this was at all really worth it anymore. Why stay in a marriage you weren’t happy in? But before making any rash decisions, you knew you needed to talk with him before anything. That’s if you even get the chance to. Lazily dragging your feet across the kitchen floor, you opened the fridge and realized he had left his lunchbox, leaving the food you made last night. You grabbed it, letting out a deep sigh. Should you even bring it? Yes, get out the house and get some fresh air. No, you’re just gonna waste your time and he won’t even eat it.

After fully waking up, you got dressed and grabbed his lunch box off of the counter. You walked past the mirror in the hall, keys in hand before you came to a complete stop to look at yourself. Jeans and a shirt with tacky sneakers that didn’t even match. And your eye bags just added onto it. God, you looked horrible. He wouldn’t want to see you like this. Especially not at his job.

With summer breeze, you were quick to change into a pretty sundress Nanami had gotten you last winter, along with some wedged heels to top off the look. And quickly, you ran to bathroom to apply makeup, nothing too heavy but just enough to make it look like you were at least taking care of yourself properly. You smeared the pink gloss along your lined lips, leaning towards the mirror to make sure you looked good. Still, you didn’t feel satisfied, but it’ll have to do.

You sat in the car for another minute, applying another coat of mascara before heading into the building. Nerves struck through your entire body, something similar to a first date. It’s been so long since you’ve seen him, your own husband, that it now feels like seeing him for the first time. The thought made your frown as you stepped foot inside. You greeted the woman at the desk. “Hi, I’m here to drop my husbands lunch he forgot it at home. Nanami Kento.” You kindly smiled.

“Oh! You’re Mr. Nanami’s wife! Pleasure to meet you!” She bowed, smiling. “You’re free to head to his office.”

“Thank you!” Your heels click against the marble flooring, walking towards the elevator and pressing the button with a shaky hand. You wondered if he’d be surprised to see you, greet you with a kiss or a hug. You grew hopeful, imagining finally being in his embrace after so long. You smiled, stepping out of the elevator and headed down the hall towards his office.

On the other side of the door you could hear your husband laughing, talking with someone. But jealousy and insecurity buried a pit in your chest when you heard a woman laugh along with him. You barged into the office, taking site of the two sitting across the desk from one another. Your husbands eyes shot up towards you and the woman glanced over her shoulder with a confused look.

“Y/n?” He stood from his chair, walking over to you. “Sorry, this is my wife.” He awkwardly laughed, looking at the woman who was now standing.

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Nanami.” She bowed, a small smile on her lips.

“H-hello.” You shakily replied, looking between her and your husband.

“What are you doing here?” He whispered, brows furrowed. From his tone, he sounded slightly annoyed, like you had interrupted something important.

“You forgot your lunch I thought—”

“I already had lunch. No need.” He easily dismissed you, shaking his head. “I’m having an important discussion right now, so I’ll see you at home.” He walked you out of his office, shutting the door behind you. No goodbye. No kiss. Not even a hug. I’ll see you at home. What a joke.

You sat in the bath, bubbles surrounding you and scented candles lit on the sink. The diamond ring on your finger glistened under the dim light as you stared at it, a sour taste forming in your mouth when you remembered earlier today. Who was that woman? Clearly she worked there, but she was so much younger, prettier, and she was making Nanami laugh. He was in such a rush to push you out, claiming he had eaten already. God, you wouldn’t be surprised if he was cheating. It’s the only thing that makes any sense. Forget the talk.

You’ve forgotten how long you’ve been sitting in here now, but you were surprised when you heard the front door open. Reaching for your phone, it was only five at night, pretty early for him to be home nowadays. You just soaked in the bath, hearing his footsteps grow closer and closer until he reached your bedroom. Nanami, noticed the bathroom light, walking in and seeing you in the tub. “Hey, honey.” It’s felt like years since he’s called you any type of pet name, or anything in general.

“I was just getting out. I’ll finish after you’ve done doing what you need to do.” You reach for your towel on the rack, before Nanami stops you.

“Woah, woah, can I not join you?” He chuckled, soothingly rubbing his hand up and down your arm.

“No. Not in the mood.” You snatched the towel, wrapping it around your body before stepping out the tub, blowing out the scented candle and grabbing your phone. “Enjoy your shower.”

“Honey, if this is about earlier today, I apologize. I was interviewing her for a position—”

“God, you really haven’t noticed it?” You were at your breaking point, on the verge of tears from all the hurt you’ve been holding in for the last few months.

“I’m sorry I don’t know—”

“I want a divorce.” The words came out of your mouth as smooth as silk, leaving him shocked.

“Wait, wait! Sweetheart, talk to me first please?” He almost sounded desperate, reaching for you as you walked away into the bedroom. He quickly followed behind you. “Say something.”

“These last few months have been hell! You come home late, leave early, I don’t even see my own husband anymore. We don’t even talk to or at least text each other. And then I walk in, seeing you laughing and talking with some woman and god, the worst comes to my head because my husband hasn’t been mine for last three months! We haven’t kissed, hugged, or even had sex in so long. And then I get all dressed up for you and you push me out of there like I’m a stranger and then you come home and act like everything is okay! I’m not okay!” You scream, tears pooling in your eyes. “I feel so alone. So jealous and insecure.” You sob, turning away from him because he doesn’t deserve your tears, he doesn’t deserve to see you so weak and broken.

“Honey, I am so fucking sorry. God, please look at me. Baby.” His soft voice makes you want to rebel against everything you’re standing for right now, wanting to turn to him and hug him and kiss him. You feel his soft hands on your shoulder. “I am so sorry for making you feel less than what you truly are.”

“Are you cheating on me?” You managed to ask through tears.

“What?!” He says shocked. “No, fuck, of course not!” He couldn’t believe his ears, turning you around on his own, pulling you to look at him. He’s not surprised you think he’s having an affair with the way he’s been acting lately. But the truth is, he’s been distant because of a surprise. “I could never cheat on you. It disgusts me to even think about it, darling.” He caresses your face gently, holding it in his hands.

“Then what is it? Do you not love me anymore?” You hiccup, staring at him with teary eyes.

“I’m madly in love with you! I know these past few months, I’ve been horrible at showing it, treating you like you’re nothing when you’re everything. If I knew this would have such a horrible effect on you, I would’ve told you sooner instead of wanting to surprise you.” He let out a heavy sigh of disappointment. Disappointment within himself for putting you in such a position.

“What? What surprise?” You looked at him confused, browns knitting together. He sat you on the edge of the bed, taking your hand in his as he kneeled in front you. “Kento…”

“I’ve been working so hard because I was planning our future. Saving up to move to Malaysia. I wanted it to be a surprise, but, I can’t keep seeing you like this. I’ve been working to save up more money, I’ve been searching for houses and talking to realtors on the phone. I’ve been exhausted, honey, but that’s no excuse for how I’ve been treating you like an afterthought.” He kissed your palm. “Please forgive me. I am so, so, sorry.” He kissed your hand again, resting his head on your lap. “Sweetheart, I don’t know what I’ll do if you leave me. Just hearing those words leave your mouth earlier scared the shit out of me. I can’t lose you. I love you so much.” He chokes back tears, holding you tightly.

You sit there shocked, completely and utterly shocked. While his actions were no excuse, you still can’t believe the reasoning behind it all. “Ken,” you mutter, running your fingers through his soft blonde hair. He kisses your hand once more, lifting his head to stare up at you.

“I’ll do anything if you just stay. I’ll do anything for you, sweetheart. I need you to know that.” Your heart pounds against your ribcage as he crawls up towards you, cupping your face. “I love you. I’m sorry. I’m so—mmph—sorry.” He kisses you between words, pressing his lips to yours. You haven’t felt his kisses in so long but it’s like they never left, feeling his firm grip on you as he kissed you so sweetly, each one filled with so much passion and desire.

“Baby, Ken, I forgive you. Okay?” You pull away. “Just…please, don’t ever do that to me again. I don’t care what it is, do not make me feel like I’m any less important. I can’t believe you’ve been working your ass off just so we could move to Malaysia, carrying the burden by yourself when you know I’m right here.” Your eyes search his.

“I understand. I’m sorry. I know I should’ve said something, I just…I don’t know. It’s doesn’t matter anymore, yeah? I’ve still got some extra work to do for the next two weeks until it’s settled, so don’t think I’m going back on my word. I swear I’m not.” He pecked your lips.

“Okay, I understand. Can I at least ask where in Malaysia?” You smiled, holding his hand.

“That, I am keeping a surprise.” He shook his head. “I just can’t wait to see the look on your beautiful face when you see it.” He quickly scooped you up in his arms, walking into the bathroom. “Shower with me? It’s been so long since we’ve—”

“Of course. I’ve missed you so much, Ken.”

His eyes glistened as he stared at you, smiling like an idiot in love. “You looked beautiful earlier today. I noticed you were wearing the sundress I had bought you. I can confidently say that it hugs you in the all right places. If there were no one in my office, I would have taken you right then and there, sweetheart.”

“Ken!” You shout in surprise, covering your mouth as you stifled back a laugh. “Please just get undressed so we can shower!”

“It’s good to see a smile back on your face.”

[izadi234]

Forget me not

-Warning: Contain yandere themes, neglected! gn!reader, mention of low self-esteem, the writer's first language isn't English.

Yan! Batfamily x Gn! Reader

Chapters Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 (You're here)

Chapter 5

"Hey Dick" Bruce called to his oldest son when he saw him in the kitchen while he was preparing a bowl of cereal

"Yeah Bruce?" Dick answered but his attention was still on his cereal

"Have you heard from (Name)?" the eldest asked

"Uh..." he kept thinking, remembering who you were until something finally clicked in his mind "Oh yeah! No, I haven't heard from them, maybe in their room?" he suggested, not giving it any importance

"Yeah, that would be the most logical answer if they hadn't moved" Bruce sighed

"What?" for the first time Dick turned to look at him surprised

"Yeah... They've been gone for a while now" Bruce explained

"But why?" Dick asked

"Well... I have to admit that I haven't been the best father to them..." he said a little embarrassed

"Oh Bruce..." Dick was about to start scolding him

"I really don't need you to scold me right now" Bruce growled

"Fine..." Dick sighed and stood up "And why are you looking for them?"

"I need to talk to them about everything" he explained "And... and apologize to them for all these years"

Dick didn't like to see any of his family sad or stressed like Bruce.

And yet he never noticed you

So he put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed him a little to try and comfort him.

"I'll help you look for them. Have you checked their room yet?"

"Yeah I already checked it and there's nothing, literally speaking" Bruce sighed

"Well maybe you missed something. You're not the only one in the family who's a detective" he smiled and the older man smiled back

"Thanks, chum" he patted him on the back affectionately

"You're welcome, old man" Then both men separated to look for the missing family member

Dick pulled out his phone and sent a message to the chat group he had with his brothers.

In which you were not included of course

Asking for a quick little meeting, that way, if everyone helped look for you all this would end quickly and they could make it up to you. Even though Dick didn't say it, knowing that you had left and hadn't told anyone and adding the fact that he now felt guilty because he paid you a lot (nothing) of attention.

"Let me understand Dickhead so..." Jason spoke "You called us, saying that this was urgent just to tell us to help you and Bruce look for (Name)?"

To tell the truth, everyone thought it was silly that Dick called them, you were a teenager, most likely you were doing something outside the mansion, you would return home soon.

"I'm sorry to tell you this Dick but, I think you're exaggerating" said Tim

"For the first time I can agree with Drake" said Damian "I have more important things to do than looking for them"

"I know, I know, but this is urgent not only for Bruce but for me too" said Dick "And why are you looking for them?" asked Stephanie

"Look..." Dick sighed "They... they... they left the mansion and Bruce Is nervous"

"They left? Why?" asked Tim

"Did you call them?" asked Cassandra

"Bruce tried but it seems they changed their number" Dick sighed

"You didn't answer Tim's question" said Jason "Why did they leave?"

"Perhaps because they never felt part of this family, Master Jason" said a voice behind them, it was Alfred who had been listening to the little meeting

"Huh? Why do you say that Pennyworth?" asked Damian

"Oh it is probably because you just decided to ignore them since they came to the mansion" said Alfred as if it was obvious

"Hey! That's not true, I used to spend time with them" Jason defended himself

"And then what happened, Master Jason?" asked Alfred and looked at him a little irritated

"Uhh... I died and then came back from the dead...?" laughed Jason nervously

"Nonsense" said Alfred and then left Jason sighed and stood up.

"How do we help, Dick?"

Jason felt like a complete jerk. How could he have pushed you aside? You were still a child for God's sake! And yet he didn't care and pushed you aside when he came back from the dead, being more focused on his revenge against Bruce and Tim. He also felt a little proud, proud that he was always the closest to you, even if it has been a while SInce then. He remembers how you looked at him in admiration in his days as Robin, how your eyes lit up when he did a stunt and how you followed him around the mansion like you were a duckling. Alfred had even taken a picture of you following him around. The simple memory made him smile. He should ask Alfred if he still has the photo. He was in your room, inspecting it like it was a crime scene but he had to admit, you were Bruce's child. This room was completely clean and it looked like no one had lived in it for years if it weren't for the fact that the walls were painted (f/c). It was like If you didn't want to be found. That made Jason let out a small chuckle, you would have been a great vigilante, if only they had given you the chance. He shook his head, trying to get those negative thoughts out of his mind and focus on his search instead. He checked every corner of your room and nothing. It seemed like you just vanished.

"Shit!" He slammed his fist on the floor as he crouched down, checking under your bed. "Where the fuck are you?”

"Keep checking their room, Master Jason?" said a voice behind him, it was Alfred who was looking at him with the same neutral face.

"Yeah," Jason sighed and stood up.

After a few seconds of silence, Jason turned to look at Alfred and asked:

"Alfred... Do you happen to have the photo you took of (Name) and me when we were kids? The one where they followed me like a duckling?”

"Yes, I have the photo, Master Jason, but I can show you more. Please follow me," said the butler as he turned around and left the room.

Jason looked at him in surprise, but without saying anything he followed him. They reached the attic of the great mansion. There were millions of boxes in that place in which they had different things that belonged to the inhabitants of Wayne Manor. Alfred began to move some boxes until he took out a specific one that had your name on it.

"What is this?" Jason asked.

"This is a box, Master Jason" Alfred said as he handed him the box.

"And it contains some things that used to belong to (Name)”

Jason looked at the box in amazement, it didn't weigh much but it didn't weigh little either but it seemed well preserved despite the time.

"Thank you Alfred" he said and then came down from the attic with the box in his arms.

Jason walked into the living room so he could see the contents of the box without any problem. He didn't know where to start but decided to grab a long but thin book. When he saw the cover his eyes widened in surprise, because that book was a photo album.

On the first pages of the album there were ultrasound images that started from the third month. There was even a 3D ultrasound in which you could see the baby's face. Jason smiled at the image and ran his fingers over the photo. He remembered your smile, it was tender and warm and always relaxed him after a hard mission or a fight with Bruce.

On the next page there was information about your birth, your weight and height and other information. There was also a compartment in which there was a small sock that would only fit a newborn baby. The young man smiled more when he saw that small garment that used to be yours, he put it back in the small compartment of the book and continued exploring. From that page, there were photos, the first ones were of your mother and another man, your mother was sitting on the hospital bed with the man next to her while he held you. Both adults looked completely happy while you slept. In another picture you were in the arms of your mother who looked tired but no less happy, the background of the picture seemed to be a baby's room. And in a third one you were in the arms of that man again, he was lifting you up in the air while you laughed, the man laughing in the same way. Jason could imagine the sound of your laughter at that age and it just made his heart beat a little faster.

He kept looking at more pictures of you, your first steps, playing with some pet you had back then, eating (although it was actually a mess but he found it cute) and then there was the picture of your first birthday, you were still so small, but you could see the excitement on your face when you saw the candle on your birthday cake, next to you your mother and that man again. He should have Tim investigate who that man was.

Jason kept looking at pictures of your first years of life, your first Christmas, your first Halloween, your first day at daycare, your first friends. Throughout the album you could see how you were growing up full of happiness, well that was until you got to the photo of your fourth birthday. From that photo on, your mother and that man didn't appear anymore, but instead there were photos of your arrival at Wayne Manor.

At first there were only photos of the great mansion and its hallways, the beautiful handwriting that was written in the previous titles was replaced by that of a small child. Throughout the following pages there were only photos of the property and the animals and there was only one photo where you appeared but now with Alfred, both smiling. You got to the photo of your fifth birthday, thinking that it was Bruce or Dick in that photo but it seems that wasn't the case. You were five, six, seven, eight years old and in your birthday photos there were only you and Alfred, that didn't seem to change despite time. On the next page, Jason was surprised to find pictures of him and you, it was when he had just become Robin and spent a lot of time with you, from photos where Jason was training, cooking with Alfred, reading, and even him teaching you how to fight. Even though those photos were extremely beautiful in his eyes, his favorite had to be the photo in which he appeared with Alfred and (Name) at his 9th birthday party. He smiled at the photograph and took it in his hands, being honest, he didn't remember that until he saw the photo again and your smile made Jason's heart flutter again. With more energy he began to look at the album and each time he appeared less in the photos until he reached your 10th birthday, but he was no longer there, again it was just Alfred and you.

"What...? No no no no no..." Jason muttered agitatedly as he looked through the album

He wasn't in any pictures anymore, nor was his family, it was just you and Alfred again and on more occasions it seemed like more people he didn't know, probably your friends.

"Fuck!" he yelled in frustration and put his face in his hands

Did he really just push you aside so foolishly? No... He had to fix it.

After all HE was your favorite brother

And HE was going to make it up to you

He was going to make it up to you for all those years he left you alone

And he was going to find you, after all, he was trained by the world's greatest detective.

How hard can It be finding you?

Hello! First of all... HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you all have a wonderful 2025! And of course I wanted to thanks to all of those people that have supported this story even If it has been just a couple of months.

Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. Personally I think it was kinda short but to be honest I didn't had a bunch time to write but oh well.

If you have questions about the story, a comment (respectfully) or even ideas I would be more than happy to know or answer them in any case.

I send all of you a big hug!

-Izadi <3

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[tuttle-did-it]

With you on all of this. I wanted to like Deanna. But the show seemed to decide that if Riker liked her, that was enough to make us like her.

But if I had been on this ship, I would have found it offensive that someone could just drill into my brain like that. I would have avoided her like the plague-- because I do find it quite invasive to have someone know how I was feeling and why-- all the time. I would feel incredibly vulnerable around someone like that-- if she was as powerful as they say, she could easily not only detect what people were feeling, but also influence that. I would hate being near someone like that because I am possessive of my thoughts and feelings. Certain topics-- especially tv-- sure, I can talk about feelings about that. But real life stuff? My past, traumas, etc? Those are mine. And someone seeing through them and announcing them to the whole bridge crew whenever she felt like it-- or even having the ability to do that-- I would steer clear of her.

And instead of them just insisting it is moral and fine and giving us what-- one single episode where they acknowledge how much power she could have over someone, how vulnerable it could make people around her? How easily she could fuck people over if she wanted to? Play with that a bit more. Have people uncomfortable around her. Have her trying to deal with crew who avoid her like the plague. Have crew who refuse to work with her, have some fucking conflict *somewhere.* have her do something bloody unethical where she crosses a line because she is so powerful and it causes actual problems instead of 'he's angry, captain,' and 'what do you think?' And 'how does that make you feel?' Either she's powerful and there are consequences for that power, or she os not powerful and there are consequences for that, too. But you're right-- everything she says, Beverly could have figured out as well.

Or, hell-- when Troi loses her powers, give her 12 episodes where she is trying to get it back. Where she has to prove she is more than just a lie detector machine. Where she has to become more. Data advanced from his programming. But none of the others ever did. And it was the worst with Troi. Give us a whole season where she has to prove she's more. Where sometimes bits of her powers are coming back, but then they blink out again. Where she just has to work for it and prove that no, she deserves to be there even without the powers. She is good enough to be there without them. Then, maybe she gets them back, maybe not. I honestly think she'd have been a better character of they *didn't* return. Shed have to find *something* more to say than 'he's angry, captain.' 'They're hiding something, captain.' It just makes him look incompetent not to see that. So take away her powers and make her work for it.

She's not a good therapist. I've gone to therapy, a lot. And the advice she gives people is worse than the shit you'd see from chat gpt. She's a terrible therapist. At least make her competent. At least hire a psychologist who can say 'she needs to dig deeper here, she can't just say 'and how does that make you feel?' Thats awful therapy. Barclay was a mess before she met him, but her 'counselling' just does absolutely nothing.

I wanted to like Troi. I genuinely have tried for decades to find something I like about her, some story about her I can care about. And there is just nothing for me. I cared more about Tasha in s1 and 'Yesterday's Enterprise' than I ever cared about Troi. I cared more about Ro Laren in her debut episode than I ever cared about Troi. More about Pulaski in a single season. More about Beverly in a single scene than I ever cared about Troi. Which is sad and absurd because she's in the show twice as much as these women-- maybe more of them all put together. She had to ability to be such a great character. The writing failed, hands down. But the other actors brought something more to their characters, made them feel more real and fleshed out despite the shoddy scripts. I don't feel the same with Marina. I genuinely would have preferred to kill off Troi and keep Tasha (had Denise wanted to stay, I get why she didn't) or to have Beverly or Ro in more often. Troi is one of the most useless characters I've ever seen in Trek. Which is sad cos Trek has quite a fee useless characters.

Agree with Odo comments as well-- it was a stroke of genius that they made Odo a shapeshifter who could be anything. Except he can't because he's bad at it. And it hurts him. Was it for budget reasons and to avoid plots becoming way too easy? Yes. But they did something with it that pushed his storyline forward and gave him conflict. And it gave him an inner trauma that he needed to fix-- to the point where he does things *very* against his own ideals and morals just to try to get answers about who he was, and where he came from. By making his talent his trauma, they invited that story, that discomfort of others around him, his own discomfort about himself and his people, that was just a brilliant way to deal with it.

They *eventually* did the same thing with Wesley-- his genius (which they could only show by making all the other qualified adults around him very stupid-- eventually became his trauma. Became the thing that hurt him and kept him distant from others. And it actually worked really well! It was sad they waited til s7 to give him those cracks and issues, but there were a few tiny fractures in earlier seasons do when it did happen, it made sense. It actually ended up being a fantastic story arc. The thing that made him special was also the thing that hurt him.

There were no consequences to Troi having 1000+ worth of people's emotions every day other than her getting a bit tired and needing some chocolate. Okay? And? We met another Betazoid who completely fell apart just being around one person, let alone a ship of people. And I cared more about Tam in that one single episode than i ever cared about Troi. Make it harder on her. Make it hurt her sometimes. Make her talent her achilles heel. They did it with Tam. Data. Odo. But they couldn't do it with her. So they just stuffed her in spandex and had her say 'and how does that make you feel?' For 7 years.

But DS9 was the only legacy Trek that wasn't desperately allergic to consequence. I wish DS9 had more consequence-- poor O'Brien should have had at least a couple mental breakdowns. But they did what they could with the formula at the time.

star trek characters will literally go through the most life changing traumatic multidimensional extrasensory eldritch hell torture imaginable and then they're fine and the next episode they gotta deal with a guy who is bald

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

Long distance girlfriend surprising Rafe

Request: Reader going to college on the east coast and being stuck there because of snow + Rafe being sad

—

‘’Thank you for choosing Cameron Development for your project, Mr. Phillips. Our secretary will email the documents shortly,’’ Rafe said in his polished, customer-service tone. ‘’Happy holidays.’’

The second the call ended, his forced smile vanished, leaving his face set in a grim scowl. He’s never been a fan of Christmas, but for the first time, he had been looking forward to it — his first Christmas with you. But that changed when a snowstorm hit the East Coast, forcing all flights in New York to get cancelled. 

Rafe leaned back in his leather office chair, running a hand through his buzzed hair in frustration. It was only 3pm, but he couldn’t focus. All he could think about was you, alone in your apartment in New York, and most importantly, miles away from him. He thought of driving to you, but Topper resonated with him. If flights were cancelled, some roads would be closed too. 

Why must you go to college so far away? With a sigh, Rafe picked up his personal phone for the tenth time today, and re-reading your last message. He was hurting himself by doing this, but reading your message also brought him some comfort. 

I’m so sorry I can’t make it to you, baby 😢💔 I’ve been keeping track of the flights, but everything is still cancelled… This snow really wants to sabotage our first Christmas! 😠 In case nothing changes, I’m gonna video-call you on Christmas morning…in my sexy lingerie set I got just for you. Wish you were there to unwrap me 🎁🤭

Before he could finish reading, Wheezie’s face filled his screen with an incoming call. 

‘’Wheezie? Why are you calling me?’’ Rafe frowned, leaning back in his chair. She never called him at work unless it was important.

‘’Rafe! Thank god you picked up! I tried calling Sarah, but she didn’t answer.’’ Wheezie's voice was high-pitched and panicked, words spilling out in a rush. 

‘’Wheezie, what is it?’’ he asked. 

‘’I tried making gingerbread cookies, but I guess I left them in for too long...’’

Rafe pinched the bridge of his nose, already feeling a headache coming on. ‘’Just throw them out if they’re burned. It’s not worth breaking a tooth over.’’

‘’No, you don’t understand,’’ she cried, her voice breaking slightly. ‘’There’s smoke all over the kitchen!’’ A coughing fit punctuated her sentence, and Rafe’s heart dropped.

‘’What? Wheeze, are you okay?’’ 

He was already standing, grabbing his keys. Fuck work. 

‘’Can you come home? Please, Rafe. Dad is gonna be so mad if I burn the house down—’’ 

He didn’t even wait to hang up properly before he was out the door. ‘’I’m coming, Wheeze. Just, stay away from the oven, okay? And get outside if it gets worse. Do you hear me?’’ Rafe’s tone sharpened, his protective instincts kicking in.

Rafe pulled into the driveway of Tannyhill, tires screeching as he parked quickly. His jaw was tight, still on edge from Wheezie’s frantic call. The house seemed calm from the outside, which was strange because she said there was smoke all over the kitchen.

He opened the front door. “Wheezie?” he called out, stepping into the house, his eyes scanning for signs of smoke. ‘’Wheezie, I’m here. Where’s the damn smoke you talked about?’’ 

The kitchen light was on, and as he stepped closer, his stomach dropped. Instead of finding his little sister panicking, he found you standing in the middle of the kitchen, grinning at him. 

‘’Hi.’’ 

For a split second, neither of you moved. Then, you ran to him, throwing your arms around his neck and pressing yourself against him. Rafe’s brain scrambled to catch up. Then it clicked. The familiar scent of your shampoo, the warmth of your arms — it was really you. His arms locked around your waist like he was afraid you might disappear, and you buried your face in his chest, clutching him like you’d never let go.

‘’What the—’’ He pulled back just enough to grab your face, his blue eyes searching yours, wide with disbelief. ‘’You’re here? Really here?’’

‘’Surprise, baby,’’ you murmured before pressing your lips to his, cutting off whatever string of disbelief he was about to voice again.

The kiss was soft at first, but as the realization sank in, Rafe pulled you closer, deepening it, one hand sliding to your back while the other tangled in your hair. It was desperate and relieved, like he couldn’t believe you were actually there, standing in his kitchen, and not miles away in New York.

He hadn’t seen you since his weekend visit for Thanksgiving, he couldn’t settle with a peck. 

When you finally pulled back, both of you were breathing hard, faces inches apart. 

Rafe’s forehead pressed against yours. ‘’But you were in New York. The flights—’’ He blinked, still trying to process, his grip on your waist tightening. ‘’How are you here? I mean…what—? Wheezie called me about some fire in the kitchen.’’ He glanced around, half-expecting his sister to pop out from somewhere. 

You laughed, guilt flickering across your face. ‘’Yeah, that was her idea. There’s no fire. I told her to find something to make you come home. It worked, didn’t it?’’ 

His eyebrows shot up. ‘’She knew about you coming here and didn’t tell me?!’’ 

You nodded. Flights being cancelled was not a lie, but you were able to take a train to another state — where the snow was not as bad —, and take a flight there. You texted Wheezie during your flight, asking for help to surprise Rafe. Why would she not help the girl who brought smiles on her brother’s moody face?

‘’Sorry, baby.’’ You looked up and rubbed your hands over his work button up, feeling the planes of his muscled chest and the warmth of his skin underneath. ‘’I just… I couldn’t stand hearing how sad you sounded yesterday. I had to get here, I tried everything in my power to get to you. Don’t be mad at her, okay? She just wanted to help me.’’

Rafe shook his head, a grin tugging at his lips despite himself. His hands slid down to your waist, holding you close as he tilted his head. ‘’You’re lucky I love you,’’ he murmured, his voice absentmindedly falling into your relationship bubble where it was just you and him.

You stayed like that for a moment, bathing in each other’s embrace, until a thought crossed your mind. ‘’Rafe? There’s one other thing I need to tell you: I left your Christmas present in New York…’’ You pulled back, guilt filling you again as you continued and explained yourself. ‘’It was on the table so I wouldn’t forget it, but—’’ 

But Rafe couldn't care less. 

‘’That’s okay. There’s only you on my wishlist anyway.’’ 

—

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[deadtired-highkeyenergetic]

All The Reasons Why

Sorry for the lack of updates. Been suffering from jet lag and still kind of am, staying up until 3am for an event isn't helping much, pretty sure I haven't actually slept the whole night/early morning. Anyways after all that angst here's some...uh fluff? Sad fluff but still fluff I'm pretty sure

Summary: Alcohol loosens Silco's tongue and you find out a lot more about Silco's feelings towards you than what you expected

You've never really seen Silco drunk before. He has such a high tolerance towards alcohol that sometimes you believe he's immune to getting drunk, but tonight proves otherwise because he's stumbling into your room with flushed cheeks and red ears.

"Silco?" You hurriedly guide him to your bed before he can smack face first into anything. Considering how you knew he was outside your room from the very loud string of curses that came after the sound of something smacking into your door, you don't quite trust him to navigate his way around your room.

"Hey." His speech is slightly slurred, sea foam eyes unfocused. He better not puke all over your bed or anywhere in your room for that matter, you don't want to clean up that kind of mess in your room. He does obediently sit on your bed, watching you rather intently.

"Did you need something?" You ask, not quite sure why he tried to enter your room in the first place.

"I need to tell you a secret. Promise you will not tell anyone else?" You can smell the alcohol coming off his breath even when there's a gap between you both, a testament to how much he's drunk tonight.

"Uh, sure." Well this is intriguing. Silco always kept his secrets to himself, refusing to give others a peak at the cards he held in fear of them using it against him, not even Vander knew everything about Silco.

"There is this…person who I like."

You raise an eyebrow, lips quirking up in amusement. What an opener. You're pretty sure you know who he's talking about, but there's still a small part of you that doubts it, whispering all the reasons why it isn't the person you're thinking about, hissing that you're delusional and that he's found someone better. Someone better than you.

"They are amazing in every way. They look good, they fight well, they are better than me when it comes to scaring unwanted attention away. They are kind, caring, nothing like the tough image they project to the world. They hide behind the image of a rough unfeeling fighter because they have to in order to survive, but they are always so gentle with me and the ones they care about. They always worry about me, always know when I need someone to talk to, always know when to give me space and when to offer me their shoulder to lean on. They know all my habits, know my favourite food and drink, know where to find me, sometimes I wonder if there is nothing they do not know about me." He takes a deep breath, gaze searching the floor.

"But they are atrocious at giving compliments. It is as though they cannot say nice things to other people. I know though, that they compliment people through actions. They like messing up my hair, slapping me on the back, nudging me with their shoulder, sometimes they even tell me 'not bad', but that is the nicest thing they will ever say to me. I know that when they mess up my hair they are proud of me, slapping me on the back means 'well done' and 'not bad' means 'great job'." He smiles softly and you can't help but smile back, a warmth growing in your chest.

"I like it. I like the way they cannot compliment people, I like the way they try to show their appreciation for someone by doing little things for said person, I like the way their nose scrunches when they try to say something nice but all that comes out is 'not bad'. I like the way they fiercely devote themselves to everything, from what they believe in to protecting someone they care about. One moment they are angrily hissing at someone to shove off and the next they are turning to me, asking if I am alright in the most monotonous tone ever." He laughs quietly, gripping the bed sheet.

You recall when that exact situation happened, the confused look he gave you upon hearing your question and the amusement in his voice as he told you that you could at least ask him that with some concern. In your defense, you were checking him for injuries at the same time, analysing any possible sign knowing that he would stubbornly keep any injury a secret from you.

"I like the way they awkwardly react when I hug them, standing stiffly like a brick and staring at me confused. I like the way they do their best to console me when I cry, whether it be resting a hand on my back or patting my head. I like their loyalty. I know I can entrust more than my back to them, I know I can entrust my life to them because they will never betray me, never turn their back on me. I know that they will burn the world for me, and that if the whole world turns against me they will still stand by my side and fight against the world with me. I like every part of them — the parts they are proud of and the parts they hate." His voice drops to a whisper. "But I cannot understand what they like about me. They look at me and see 'Silco', not a miner, not Vander's shadow, not a 'dirty little thing' but I am not like Vander — a strong fighter with a heart as big as his size. I am not like Felicia — sociable, gentle and kind. All I can do is plot from the shadows, skulk about at celebrations, stare at my notebook as my friends chatter the night away. I am only a 'dirty little thing', not someone to be so devoted to, cherished, or loved."

A lump forms in your throat at his words. To hear him tear himself apart, believe the things enforcers and those who hate him say about him, it makes your heart ache.

"I think they like you because of how passionate you are about the dream of Zaun." You swallow hard, struggling to find the correct words to say. "They like the way you dare to dream big, the way you strive to become more than what others think you are. They like the way you persevere through it all, the determination in your eyes that drives you each and every day. It gives them hope, encourages them to dream of what can be, makes them fall in love with you over and over again. They like the way you fight for what you hold dear, no matter the odds you face."

He shakes his head, biting his lip as tears begin form.

"They like you because of how much you care about those you love, even if you don't ever show it through words. They like the way you smile contentedly as you quietly listen to friends banter, rolling your eyes when they say something dumb and drop the wittiest line whenever you do say something. They like the way you struggle to get properly mad at them for doing something stupid, the annoyed sigh you make as you massage the bridge of your nose when you find out they've done the very thing you told them not to and the way you always threaten to leave them to suffer the consequences alone but never do. They like the smile that forms on your face when you're proud of them, the way the corners of your eyes crease when you're happy." You don't recall when you took his hand in yours but it sits there now, nestling warmly as your fingers intertwine.

"They like the quiet laugh you make when something amuses you, the messy bedhead that they always see first thing in the morning, the sleepy mumbles that fall from your lips as you stumble towards the bathroom. They like the smell of the coffee that you make, the way you bring it to them in their bed piping hot and freshly made, the gentle kiss you press to their forehead after that. They like the way you lie down on their stomach, face buried in their shirt when you're tired. They like the moments when it's complete silence but it's a comfortable silence. They like the way your first thought is always them, even when you're drunk." You pull him into a hug, the first one you've ever initiated and he freezes for a moment before returning the hug, burying his face into your shoulder.

"They like the way you're always there for them, the way you always know when something's wrong, the way you always know how to cheer them up. They like how you've memorised all their favourite things, their habits, and always surprise them with little gifts." His tears stain your sleeve, causing the damp fabric to stick to your skin but you don't care. You gently rub his back, a motion that you've since learned brings him great comfort and hear him sniffle.

"They like the way your palm fits into theirs just nice, the sound of your heart beating, the warmth of your body pressed against theirs underneath the blanket, and they want nothing more. They just want you for who you are, want you as you are, love you as you are because to them you're amazing, you're their whole world, their everything. And they're glad to know you feel the same way too." You nuzzle into his hair, holding him tightly.

He clings onto you, gripping onto your shirt as the tears flow and his body shakes with each sob. You simply continue holding him, giving him all the time he needs to let everything out and soon he's cried himself to sleep in your arms. You gently tuck him into your bed before dipping under the covers yourself, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"I love you Silco. Always have and always will."

[certifiedducky]

Reasons why I don’t believe Chloe was never meant to be redeemed:

1) the intro, from season one, included queen bee

And she’s the only hero who has since been replaced. If nothing else, it shows that they didn’t plan on vesperia until way later.

2) She was given a sympathetic backstory(which they used to enact short-term change)

and i am specifically talking about despair bear, which makes me all sorts of frustrated because her butler using her self-soothing method to manipulate and shame her into acting better for her classmates makes me feel so sad for her.

but the fact still stands that they gave Chloe a sympathetic backstory that not only tied her to adrien, potentially giving her an ally to help her change, but to explain(not excuse) her behavior.

there is ZERO reason for that screenshot to exist of a character that was never considered for redemption. you don’t paint your villains that way.

3) lila, like her entire existence

Okay so like, as a superhero show that has clear time both in and out of the suits, it makes sense to have clear civilian AND supervillain antagonists to keep it interesting on both sides. In season one, Ladybug and Chat Noir had hawkmoth. Adrien had Gabriel, and Marinette had Chloe. At the end of the season, they introduced lila as marinette’s civilian antagonist. THERE WAS NO REASON TO INTRODUCE A NEW ANTAGONIST FOR MARINETTE UNLESS THEY KNEW THERE WOULD BE A VOID SOON. The fact that Lila and Chloe essentially serve the same purpose after season 3, so much so that lila is almost completely sidelined until much later, shows that they didn’t know what to do with them *because chloe wasn’t supposed to be a villain*.

4) zoe & vesperia

Here’s the thing: If Chloe was meant to be irredeemable from the start, there should have been a clear plan for the bee miraculous. I can think of two ways it could’ve gone: either develop another bee holder from season 2 onwards, or have chloe steal the bee. Because what we got instead was Chloe’s half sister who was introduced in season FOUR. Not only was she introduced to the show, she was introduced to marinette. And she received her miraculous in the very next episode. There was no development, and it reflects very poorly on marinette that she chose to give a miraculous to a girl she had just met(and a girl related to Chloe at that, even if Zoe was nice, it’s very irresponsible). Had Zoe been introduced in season 2, or even the beginning of 3, it would’ve made way more sense for her to be given a miraculous by season 4. But that’s not what happened. Instead we get a character that’s shoehorned into a role because it needs filled.

5) RESISTING AN AKUMA

Chloe was the first person to resist an akuma. enough said. Because why would you give that accomplishment to a character that you planned to stay an antagonist from the start????

And listen, i’m not the first person to say these things. And it’s not the first time i’ve said it. and i’ll say it again and again because it’s frustrating. Because not only did we get this potential, but we’re being told to our faces that it was never there. That we’re crazy for thinking she could change. I don’t know what was going on in the writers room, but honestly even if they DID plan to keep her an antagonist from the start, maybe they should start lying and say they changed their minds. because all of the clues point to her being redeemed. It leaves the writers looking incompetent, utterly incompetent.

[muscle-gods-only]

My boyfriend made a New Year’s Resolution last year to get really big and jacked. He told me in a sad voice that he never stuck to his resolutions. So I promised him that if he would start in earnest before the New Year, I would pressure him to stick to his resolution. At first he would come straight home from work and I harassed him until he begrudgingly went to the gym. Thankfully back then I was quite a bit bigger than him, so I could physically push him out of the door, then I’d demand pictures of him working out. I was a total bitch but he wanted it. After a couple months he asked me if I would mind him spending many, many hundreds of dollars a month on juice. I told him that I would have to work extra hours, but he had been very regular at the gym and I knew that it was his ultimate dream so I told him that if I he would work out twice a day he could do it. My juiced up boy working out twice a day started blowing up. A month later we went on a late Spring cruise. We went to dinner to the ship’s steakhouse and my husband was unable to get into his clothes. I let him borrow my clothes, but he was bursting at the seams. Well, except the waist, he had to fold the pants. My guy went to the water slides and then came back immediately. “What’s wrong? Aren’t the slides open?” He looked at me, responding, “They are open, but they weigh you and the one I wanted to get on you are only allowed on it if you weigh between 80 and 265 lbs. I’m disappointed, but being 278 lbs with a 30 inch waist, I’m excited at my recent progress! Also, I bumped my head going into a six foot six doorway. Those growth hormones I went on as well is really helping me grow!” I looked a bit down. Since working long shifts I had been getting fat. My husband looked at me and my tummy. Then he said, “Babe, I really love you and so appreciate your sacrifices for me. You are so sexy and that new tummy is super hot! Nothing can make me love you more.” Over the cruise he kept pumping up his big, bulging muscles twice a day. He kept getting bigger and bigger. We had to cancel our reservations and ate at the buffet where he could wear tank tops and shorts with his massive thighs. Over the Summer, he kept getting bigger and bigger. In the Fall we got into a fight. The 340 pound beast grabbed my shirt and picked me up by the shirt like I was weightless. He was so so powerful, I was like nothing to his Herculean hands. He started tossing me about like a tiny throw pillow. I felt so tiny and fearful: I had no control of my physical safety. The huge man looked down onto me. I was still five foot seven, but he had mutated into seven foot four muscle god. The beast put me down and said, “Please stop fighting me. You need to tell me why you are so down lately? I looked over his massive body, then his tiny waist. Then I looked at huge belly and told him that while not working out, I passed the 300 pound mark. Then I added that was a month ago, then today I went over the 330 pound mark. I was devastated. He said, “You worship my muscles, please let me worship that majestic belly of yours! That will make you feel better!” I agreed. I f*cked his big mars muscle mountain pecs, then he f^cked my big man boobs. We both felt better, but then I asked him to pick me up and acts little threatening.

[mejaemin]

many more - hong jisoo

wc: 1.1k

summary: you never fail to give joshua the best birthday every year, and he hopes to spend them with you forever

warnings: very fluffy, also very suggestive, making out, allusions to sex

an: here’s my real birthday fic for joshy :33 i literally finished ctqy and then started this bc i felt bad making a bday post for him just for it to be so sad… but it’s okay here’s this !!! another gift for my love, joshua. i hope you all like it <3

(part two here !!! nye edition <3)

───── ⋆⋅ ⊹ ⁺ 𐔌 ᩧ ຼ ͡ ৯ ♡໒⁀ ᩧຼ ꒱ིྀ ⁺ ⊹ ⋅⋆ ─────

the morning air is so peaceful, and when joshua wakes up it almost feels like a fairytale.

you’ve opened up the curtains, and lit a few candles matched to his favorite scent, the breeze through the window being the perfect temperature despite it being the dead of winter. after the third call of his name, his eyes open to you, leaning over his frame, with the most beautiful smile in sight. your hair tickles his face, and you’re full of so much light that he doesn’t even know what he’s done to deserve it. what a beautiful way to wake up, he thinks.

“good morning, love.” you coo, stroking his cheek that rises with a smile to return your own.

“good morning.” he backs away for a moment to stretch before sitting up, pulling you into his lap with a kiss.

you lean into his embrace, smiling up at him as you twirl his stray hairs around your finger. “i’ve got so much prepared for you.”

his smile turns a little more mischievous as he leans back, letting the light hit his face better for dramatic effect. “oh, really? what’s the special occasion?”

you know he’s seeking attention, but you’d be mad to not give it to him. “your birthday, of course!” you cheer, straddling his lap to give him just a portion of the many birthday kisses he’d get today. you leave a few on every single spot of his face that you enjoy, which is just about everywhere. a few for his forehead, some for his eyebrows, a couple on his cheeks, and finally, you give him the biggest one atop his gorgeous smile.

he hums, hands finding your hips with ease. “really? i thought it was just a random monday. nothing special.” he teases.

“oh, today’s super special. i’ve made it my job to make sure you feel special today, ‘kay?” you giggle.

he leans in to kiss you once again, holding your lips against his for a sweet moment before pulling away. with a dramatic pout, he continues his teasing, “but baby, i don’t know if you’re doing too good of a job.. i don’t feel so special right now, i think i’ll need a little more convincing…”

without responding, you lean in once again, eyelids drooping as you kiss him once again. he pulls you closer, large hands gripping your skin. you sigh, sinking into his body, and he uses the opportunity to let his tongue into your mouth. his hands begin traveling over every inch of your body, and before you can let out a whine and indulge in his advances, you pull away.

“i’m saving that for the end of the day, okay..? let us celebrate first.” joshua’s affect on you is so strong that kissing him in such a fashion is all it takes to leave you feeling dazed, and he knows it, running a finger over your pink, glossy lips in admiration.

like a switch flips in his head, he’s sitting up, letting you get up before following behind. “alright, darling, let’s go celebrate.”

after collecting yourself, you take his hand and lead him out to the kitchen. on top of the island there’s a plethora of gift bags among the most beautifully decorated cake. in front of it is a letter, and it’s the first thing you lead him to.

you hand it to him before bringing your hands together, fidgeting nervously. “i know i’m not the best at saying this stuff out loud, so i wrote it down. i had to show you my gratitude somehow, and i felt like gifts weren't enough, so…”

it’s almost as if he can’t stop smiling today, and if it could get any bigger it does. with a kiss to your lips, he goes and sits down at the dining table to read it. you follow, sitting on the table in front of him to watch. he rests a hand on your thigh while the other opens up the folded paper, and you can see the shock on his face at the length of its contents.

he says nothing, choosing to read it instead. you poured your entire heart and soul into it, and there’s quite a few tear stains on the paper. at some point the ink from your pen bled due to it, and he asks a few times for you to help decipher what the smudged penmanship means. you haven’t always been the best at expressing your feelings and gratefulness for your boyfriend, yet you have so much to share. after an emotional night post argument a few months ago, you sat down and wrote this out for him. there’s a second paper that you wrote yesterday to follow up, and you can see how touched he is. it’s a bit complicated being with someone so into words of affirmation while not being the type to be that way, but you made sure to give it to him for his special day.

when he finishes reading, he looks back up at you. “wow, darling, this is.. so sweet. i can tell how much thought you put into this, thank you so much.” he stands up to hug you, and with your head in his chest you squeeze him that much harder. he strokes your hair, keeping you there for a beat longer. he walks away to presumably put the letter away somewhere before returning.

“i know that must’ve taken a lot of thought for you to write for me. seriously, it means a lot. thank you, love.” he hugs you once again, kissing you once more before turning to the rest of your setup. “now, let’s celebrate.”

he spends the rest of the day with you, no other people being spared your time, opening gifts and eating his favorite foods with you. not that it’s any different other times, but he pays no mind to his cellphone, spending his special day offline with you, celebrating another year of life by your side, and above his candles he wishes for there to be many more like this.

in the late hours of the night, you’re laying together, skin to skin, basking in the afterglow of your final present to him. it’s then that he expresses his gratitude one final time before falling asleep. “thank you so much for today, love. i enjoyed it so much.”

you kiss his bare chest, too tired to move any more than that. “of course, shua. happy birthday.”

“mm, thank you. i hope i get to spend a thousand more with you.” he grabs your hand, kissing your ring finger. he thinks you say something in response, but he’s already lost in his thoughts, wondering if it’d be too much to give you a ring the next day, new year’s eve, to make sure his wish comes true.

───── ⋆⋅ ⊹ ⁺ 𐔌 ᩧ ຼ ͡ ৯ ♡໒⁀ ᩧຼ ꒱ིྀ ⁺ ⊹ ⋅⋆ ─────

[torturedtypewritersdept]

the proposition of a lifetime - b.b.

✯ pairing:

best friend!bucky x fem!reader

✯ summary:

you're not very experienced with sex, your skill are minimal at best and you know your boyfriend wants to do more. so what's a girl to do? go to her best friend for training, of course.

✯ warnings:

mature themes, mentions of sexual tension, detailed descriptions of a blow job in a car, etc.

✯ a/n:

nothing!! please don't engage if you have a hard time with any of these topics <3 this was origianlly posted on my old blog @/illicitfixations, @/lovelornanonymity and i have rewritten + reshared it here :) this was written way back in early 2023 i believe!

Bucky heard the faintest of knocks against his mahogany office door and as he glanced at the clock, he realized his sweet girl was just on time. Every Thursday at precisely three pm, you came to see him and the two of you had dinner together. It was a constant in the busy and the unknown and there was no better person to help you with your problem than your best friend, right? 

“Hey, pretty girl. How was your day?” 

He stood from the black leather beneath him and rolled the chair away from the desk with the backs of his knees. He was dressed in black slacks and a white button down shirt. His day had been long, you could tell by the pale blue tie that was once around his neck laying draped across the back of his chair. He smiled at you and brought his arms open, gesturing for you to place yourself in between them – a proper greeting. 

"It was okay. Listen – I was kinda hoping you could help me with something.” you replied as Bucky ran his hands up and down your back. 

The hair on the back of his neck stood up, his mind immediately wondered if you were in trouble, his senses always heightened at the thought of danger, especially when it came to you. He pursed his lips for a moment before he traced your features with his eyes – you seemed upset, sad even; or was it embarrassment that coated your cheeks with heat? He couldn’t put his finger on it. 

"Tell me how your day was – for real.” He replied, keeping his tone neutral. "Then, I'll offer up my services, sweetheart.” 

You chuckled and rolled your eyes as he gave you that classic James Barnes smile – it was kind and coated with sexual appeal and it fit in with the creases of his eyes like a puzzle piece. 

“Okay – fine. My day was fine, Buck, nothing special about it. I’m just feeling insecure, I guess.” 

You averted his eyes, knowing he was going to give you some lecture about how perfect you are or try to kill whoever had made you feel that way. 

“What’s making you feel insecure, doll? Or, is it someone in particular? You know whoever it is, I'll kill them – just say the word.” 

His expression was stone cold, the same one you had seen him wear only in the face of the world’s most dangerous mobsters and criminals – just before he killed them. 

“You can’t kill my boyfriend, Buck.” 

Your tone was flat.

“Brad? Or whatever his name is? Of course, I can.” 

He snorted out, laughing as if he actually took your little comment seriously. 

“Doll, what’s going on? What did he do?” 

You threw your head back and your hands flew at your face, wiping down it roughly. 

“He hasn’t done anything, Buck. It’s me – the problem is me.” 

“Come on, doll – talk to me.” 

Bucky urged. 

"It's sorta... embarrassing." 

You replied, shyly, rubbing at your hands until they were white. 

"It’s just me – just Bucky, baby. You can talk to me.” 

He responded, grabbing your hands in his. 

“I mean, I've already talked to some of my friends about it, but they can't help me the way I want."

"Okay.” He said, wondering what kind of help she could need, ignoring his more perverted thoughts and his brain switching into protective mode, again wondering if she was in some sort of trouble. 

"Thank you, Bucky.” You beamed, bouncing again. 

This time, it was all he could do not to stare openly at the motion of your unrestrained boobs; gawking at your nipples that you hadn’t bothered to cover up underneath your shirt.

“It's my boyfriend, Brad. He's... he wants... well, what every guy wants. I'm not sure I'm ready, but I don't want him to dump me."

Bucky forced words out of his dry mouth, doing his best to ignore his growing arousal. "If you're not ready for something, don't do it."

"Yeah, I know. But I think I might be ready for, um, other things."

He only nodded in response in an attempt to hide as he was about to choke on his words. The girl he had been in love with for so long was actually talking about sex with him? 

"If your girlfriend wasn't ready for, you know... sex... what would have been enough for you not to look elsewhere?"

You almost whispered the word "sex," and your face took on a pink cast at the same time. Your apparent embarrassment, as well as a wave of protective feelings, aided Bucky in repressing what he knew to be inappropriate lust for his friend. He pondered how to answer her question.

"If he's pressuring you, he's not worth keeping, sweetheart.” He said, giving in to his protective impulses.

"You sound like my mom.” You pouted, arms crossed under your breasts. "What do you think as a guy?"

‘I dont blame him – i’ve wanted to fuck you for so long, doll.’ He thought, but he pushed it aside, attempting to craft an honest, but also responsible answer.

"As much as I could get, I guess.” He said, wishing he had come up with something else. "But I would be pushing you – or, whoever I was with." 

He quickly caught himself at the end of his sentence in an attempt to smooth things over enough where you wouldn’t notice what he had just said. 

"Did you ever get a blowie from a girl?"

It took Bucky a moment to understand what you meant, as he had never heard anyone refer to a blowjob like that before. Several more seconds passed before he could formulate a response.

"There was a girl I dated who... we explored each other in, um, several ways." 

He all but stuttered as he tried to speak, but he could feel his semi-erect penis as he tried to formulate a coherent thought. 

"But she went down on you, right?"

You questioned.

"Yes, she did. But she wanted to, um, explore. I would never have pressured her to do it." As the words left his mouth, he cringed at the truth they hid. He had not directly coerced the girl in question, but he knew she had felt pressure anyway. 

"And it was enough?" 

You asked him point blank. 

"It was more than enough.” He grinned. "But if she had not wanted to..." 

He trailed off.

"I don't know how to, um, give a blowie.” You spoke, suddenly shy and your eyes locked on the floor. "I want to... I mean, I want to make him happy and all, but... what if I'm not good at it?" 

You looked at him doe-eyed and full of anxiety and he almost busted right there – just looking at you.

"I'm not sure we should be having this conversation.” Bucky replied, immediately regretting the words as they hit your skin and hurt filled your irises. 

"But I need your help. All my friends, at least the ones who've done it, say guys will like it no matter what. Some of them gave me pointers, and I've watched videos on the internet too, but... I think I need to practice first."

Your fingers stroked his forearm. Shining eyes met his, and he saw a plea in them. But his mind could not accept what his body, especially his cock, already had.

"I've heard some girls use cucumbers.” Bucky said.

"I've done that.” You said, "But cucumbers can't tell me whether I'm doing a good job or teach me to do it better. I need a man for that. A man who I know is a good teacher. I need you." 

Bucky’s eyes almost popped out of his head at your response. He never in a million years thought that he’d see this day or that it would play out like this – you practically begging him to teach you how to suck a dick – his dick. 

"Y/N, I can't... we can't..." 

His objection was half-assed. 

"Please, Buck. I need your help."

You begged again. 

"Okay. But no one can know." His erection throbbed in his jeans at his words, and his heart hammered. Deep down in his mind, his conscience attempted to object, but he ignored it.

"It'll be our secret, Bucky," You squealed, before hugging him, your firm breasts pressing against his lower torso, your lower abdomen against his rigid cock. He hugged you back, stroking your soft hair, not thinking about any possible consequences.

"We can go to my house.” He suggested, breaking the hug. "Maybe use pillows from the couch for you to kneel on.” 

"Can we do it in your car? Brad has one, and that's probably where I'd do it with him."

Bucky hesitated, watching you chew your bottom lip as you waited for his answer. What you proposed made sense, but he suspected it would be easier for you to learn, as well as more pleasurable for him, if they were both comfortable. However, now that he was committed, he did not want to mess up the chance to be the first guy his sweet girl went down on.

"Sure.” He said. "It'll be a bit more awkward, but it will prepare you for later."

"Thanks," You beamed, giving him a kiss on the cheek before running around to the passenger side of the car. He watched your ass and wondered if Brad knew how lucky he was. Bucky didn’t have to wonder – he knew. 

Your cheeks were pink again as you sat on the bench seat and stared straight ahead, hands in your lap. For a moment, his guilt returned. Had you not pushed out your chest at that exact same time, Bucky might have backed out. But the sight of those firm, round tits encased by only your thin t-shirt proved to be too much. He buried his doubts and slid into the car.

"If we're parking, we need some music.” He told you, turning the key to accessory so the radio would come on. "Is classic rock okay?"

"I guess," you shrugged, still looking out the windshield rather than at him. That allowed him to watch your boobs bounce with the shrug.

He turned up the radio, took your hand as gently as he could, and moved it to the bulge in his dress pants. Your fingers lay there for a second or two before you moved them away.

"I'm not... um... can we make out first?" 

You questioned awkwardly.

"If you aren't sure about this..."

He started, but you interrupted reassuring him. 

"I'm sure, Buck," you said, interrupting and turning your eyes to him. "I just think I need to, uh... work up to it, you know?"

"Sure, doll," Bucky replied, running a finger down her cheek. 

He leaned close to you, smelling the scent of vanilla as he did, pausing for a moment to breathe you in. You moved your head back and blinked. He sat back up and patted the seat beside him. You chewed her bottom lip, then scooted next to him. He stroked your soft cheek again. You sighed and did the same to him. Your eyes never left each other's as he lowered his lips to yours. Any trepidation you might have been experiencing seemed to vanish the moment your lips met. You grasped the back of his head and pulled his mouth tighter to yours. His tongue pushed between your lips, only to meet yours. He grabbed your waist, pulling you around to face him. Your free hand traced up his forearm and his free hand clutched one of your boobs. He marveled at the combination of softness and firmness. You moaned into his mouth when he found your nipple and lightly rolled it between his thumb and forefinger. He switched to your other boob and did the same thing. You moaned louder, which encouraged Bucky. Breaking their kiss, he grabbed the bottom of your shirt and started to lift it. He pulled the t-shirt over your head and up-stretched arms, mesmerized by your tits. They projected from your slender chest almost torpedo style, the tips capped with small, pink areolas and slightly darker nipples. Each more than a handful, he nonetheless did his best to grasp all of them as he dropped his mouth to one. Your fingers laced through his hair. You started to pull his face away, but reversed your effort as soon as he sucked your firm nipple between his lips and tongued it.

"Oh God, that feels good.” You groaned, pushing your chest out toward him. 

While he feasted on your magnificent breasts, he pulled your hand from his arm and into his lap. You hesitated, then your fingers closed around the length of his erection where it strained against the fabric of his pants.

"Your... thingy is very hard.” You whispered, your fingers tracing its outline.

"If you're going to suck it, you can say 'dick' or 'cock'," He told you, sitting up to look you in the eye.

"Your cock is very hard," you said, blushing. Still, your words were louder and more confident, and Bucky decided it was time to move their lesson forward.

"Take it out," He instructed, leaning his shoulders back against the seat.

Thin, soft fingers fumbled at the top button of his fly. Once you had it loose, you tugged, probably thinking that there would be a zipper. In what was probably less time than it seemed, you had his pants undone. He wiggled them down to mid-thigh, exposing his black boxer-briefs. Your fingers touched his dick through the soft cotton, and it jerked. You pulled your hand away a couple of inches and gasped, eyes darting up to his. He nodded to encourage you. After a deep breath, you ran your fingers up his length. This time, you did not stop when it moved at your touch.

"I've only felt Brad’s through his jeans. It's softer than I thought it'd be. But hard too. Really hard." 

You commented.

"Do you want to see it?" Bucky asked, and you nodded, eager eyes not leaving his crotch. 

He considered telling you to pull his briefs down, but he didn't want to wait. He freed his erection, which sprung straight up. You drew in a sharp breath, then touched his shaft with trembling fingers. His cock jerked to the side, but you never lost contact.

"Wrap your hand around it," He instructed, and you obliged. He groaned, fighting to keep his hips from thrusting up.

"It's bigger than I expected... and warm," you said, eyes meeting his, a grin on your face. "I didn't think... I mean, it makes sense but... this is... incredible." You gripped his dick tighter, squeezing it.

"Stroke up and down, doll.” 

You nodded then looked back down at his lap. Your fingers loosened and slid up and down the shaft a few times before wandering to the head.

"I love how soft the skin is even though it's so hard inside," you said before moving your thumb up the glans to the slit. "Is this cum?"

"Pre-cum." He said, resisting the urge to grab a fistful of hair and move your lips down to his crotch. "It leaks out when a man's hard."

"I didn't know that. So, when I suck your thing... your cock, it'll do that?" 

You questioned.

"Yes." 

He replied.

"Oh. Should I taste it now?"

"If you want."

You wiped up a glob of his fluid with your thumb and brought it to your mouth. Your tongue pushed out to taste it. A strange look crossed your face, and your gaze rose to his.

"It's... weird," you said. "Sweet and salty. And something like... soap? That's not it but...something..."

Shrugging, you sucked your thumb into your mouth, then pulled it out with a 'pop'. His cock twitched.

"Does cum taste the same?”

You questioned; intrigued with the idea of his manhood and just how it all worked. 

"Stronger, but similar." 

He responded, grinning ear-to-ear at your innocence and the part he was about to have in stripping it from you. He wondered how long it would be before you needed to ‘practice’ having sex before doing it with Brad – there’s nothing Bucky wanted more than to be your first everything. 

"I think I like it," you grinned. "But it's different than I expected. My friends who've tasted it said it's bitter or sour. But it's not." 

You commented.

"I think it's time for the next step." 

He said with a sly smile. 

"What should I do?" 

You questioned, awaiting his instruction.

"Kiss the tip."

You nodded, licked your lips, and leaned down into his lap. Your lips brushed the glans of his cock once, tentatively. The second time was surer. The third, you wrapped your lips around the very tip and sucked. His dick twitched in response, and you did it again. Bucky wanted to tell you to take more, but he saw that your position might be too awkward.

"Scoot back a little and lie on your tummy on the seat, doll.” He told you, and you complied, knees bent so your calves and feet stuck in the air. 

The change in position left your face hovering over his groin, and he nudged you downward. You took the hint, and seconds later, you slurped the entire glans of his penis in your mouth. He groaned, doing his best not to push harder on your head. He needed to let you do this in your own time.

"Move your tongue while you suck," He told you, and you wiggled it. "Yes... like that. Now take a little bit more down... watch the teeth.” 

You pulled up, alarmed eyes locking on his.

"Sorry..."

You trailed off.

"It's okay. It happens, especially for girls new to sucking cock. Try this, suck on your finger. Yes, like that. Now, scrape your teeth along it. It's a thousand times worse than that." 

You looked at him with wide eyes as you followed his instructions, apologizing again. 

"Sorry." 

"It's okay. But you have to make sure your lips protect a guy from your teeth. Here." 

Bucky took your finger, sucked it into his mouth, his lips moving up and down it. You shuddered, and what sounded like a disappointed noise escaped your parted lips when he removed his mouth from your finger.

"Now, you try," He said, holding out his index finger. You wrapped your lips around it and slid them to the base then back up.

"Good, now add suction."

You did as instructed, hollowing out your cheeks. He’d always liked a woman sucking on his fingers, and you were certainly no exception.

"Very good, sweetheart.” He told you a few seconds later. "Now add some tongue movement. Oh yeah, just like that."

You attacked his finger, sucking hard, lips sliding up and down its length, tongue wiggling. ‘If you could do that to a cock, you’d have boys eating out of her hand’, Bucky thought to himself. 

"Okay, now do the same to my cock," He said. 

You pulled your lips from his finger, grinned, and dropped your face to his lap, giving the tip of his cock a wet kiss. Bucky groaned, bucked his hips, and applied what he hoped was gentle pressure to your head. You didn’t resist, sliding your lips - no teeth this time - down a couple of inches of his cock. He groaned again. Slowly at first, you bobbed your head up and down, concentrating your efforts on the first third or so of his shaft. A few times, you took at least half of his almost seven-inch length, but much more than that caused you to gag and back off.

"That feels fantastic.” He told you, and you turned your eyes up to meet his. You held each other's gaze for several seconds, but your suction on his cock never lessened and your tongue never stilled.

"Try going faster," He suggested, and you nodded. 

Facing down again, you picked up speed. As you did so, the slurping sounds around his shaft grew louder. He ran his fingers through your soft hair, resisting grabbing a fistful and forcing you to go even faster. As it was, the tempo caused his novice cocksucker to take more in on each downstroke, and the times that you gagged increased in frequency as well. It was all as hot as hell, and sooner than Bucky would have liked, he realized he had reached the edge of no return.

"That's so good, doll, I'm really close. Concentrate near the head. Yeah, that's... wait... a little deeper... yes... perfect. Suck hard. God yes. Harder."

You sucked on the first couple of inches of his dick. You’d pulled up too far at first and slurped on the overly sensitive glans. But now your lips tightened just below, and your tongue massaged it gently. He shifted in his seat, groaned, grasped your head, and exploded. The first spurt of cum into your mouth must have taken you by surprise, because you sputtered around his shaft and attempted to raise your head. 

Bucky held it in place, however, his hips bucked with each shot and given that you did not struggle more and were not gagging, he figured you had adjusted and were swallowing it all. As it turned out, he was quite wrong. After the last little bit of cum dribbled out of his cock, he dropped his hands from your head. You bolted upright, lips clamped shut, panic in your wide eyes. Rivulets of mascara formed under your moist eyelids. Lower, cum seeped out both corners of your mouth, adding to the flow already running down your chin.

"Swallow it, sweet girl.” He instructed after a couple of seconds. You whimpered, shaking your head. 

"It's the easiest way, baby," he shrugged. "Otherwise, it'll just make a big mess. Well, a bigger mess."

You whimpered again, closing your eyes, and swallowing. It took two tries to get it all down, and you shuddered afterward. A drop fell from your chin to one sweet, young tit and started to slide along its curve.

"Show me your mouth," He said, adding, "wider," when you opened it maybe an inch. You did as he asked, and he saw a little white residue in a mostly empty mouth.

"Good girl," He said, patting your head. She gave him a weak smile and wiped her eyes. Another drop of cum joined the first on her breast.

"Here, I'll help," He told her, using his finger to push some of the cum on her chin up to her lips. The girl hesitated, so he thrust his messy finger into her mouth. She closed her eyes and sucked his digit. He fed her the rest in the same way, finishing up with the two drops that had made it to her chest. After a few moments you looked at him, settled back into the passenger seat and gave him a smile, lowering your hand to his thigh. 

“Thank you, Buck – I owe you one.” 

He smiled in return. 

“So what’s your plan, doll? Are you going to use all these new skills on that pathetic excuse for a boyfriend?” 

He asked with a teasing scoff at the sound or more so the idea of Brad and you being intimate – it made him shudder. You rolled your eyes before placing his cheeks in your hands and brushing your nose against his. 

“Silly boy – I broke up with him two weeks ago.” 

You whispered before Bucky let out a giggle and eradicated the space in between the two of you, colliding into your lips with his. 

[clegfly]

Y2FyZWxlc3NuZXNzCgpub3VuCgpmYWlsdXJlIHRvIGdpdmUgc3VmZmljaWVudCBhdHRlbnRpb24gdG8gYXZvaWRpbmcgaGFybSBvciBlcnJvcnM7IG5lZ2xpZ2VuY2UuCiJtb3N0IHJvYWQgYWNjaWRlbnRzIGFyZSBjYXVzZWQgYnkgY2FyZWxlc3NuZXNzIG9uIHRoZSBwYXJ0IG9mIG1vdG9yaXN0cyI=

Okay I’ve been posting too much silly Puter stuff lately. Party’s over people

[strwbabydoll]

The Feeling Came Late (I’m Still Glad I Met You)

Chapter Four: To Kiss in Cars and Downtown Bars

pairings: grumpy!college student!Harry x fem! sunshine!reader

chapter summary: No matter how frustrated she gets, she just can’t give up on the hope that she can change him, help him. Her best friend offers her a distraction to keep her mind fresh and off of the stress of tutoring him, the bar is just the perfect way to do that. After several shots, she falls into the arms of the one person she didn't want to see tonight, and just their luck he has to be the one to take care of her for the night. What better way to end the night than with a mistake that might just change everything as much as he hates it.

series summary: Harry hates Y/N, it seems like it's been like that forever. He's quick to insult and correct her even when she's right, he's just always been the only one to pick on her no matter what she does. She doesn't understand why it's like this between them or what she did to make him dislike her so much, but what if it's all just a lie?

overall warnings: slow burn, eventual smut, sexual tension, kind of enemies to lovers, angst, alcohol consumption and drug mentions, foul language, Harry is a major asshole in this tbh, heavy on the grumpy x sunshine in this.

chapter 4/? (wc: 6.7k)

001 | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04

- - - - -

She knew logically there was no reason for her to be upset, especially not about something so small and more than likely had nothing to do with her. He was just being him, he was in a mood and just didn't want to be there. Deep down she wanted everything to go differently, she wanted to see if there was a chance he could maybe not like her a little less, he might crack a smile or at least talk! 

The whole time he was silent aside from the hums and grunts he would answer with that she had a hard time deciphering. She had to fight back a smile every time they made eye contact but the small moment was ruined when he'd look away and huff. 

The following days after their study session seemed to drag on for Y/N. The days' they go to school haven't changed, she tries to approach him to discuss when to meet next or to ask him if he has any questions, and he ignores her. He'll carry on with his conversation as if she's not standing right there and she's left to walk away with her head held down and a sad smile on her lips. 

So she stopped trying, she stopped texting him about the worksheets he has, she stopped trying to talk to him in between classes, she hated the way he treated her and she's tired. She figures that he'll come to her whenever he's ready. 

So she went on with her normal routine and didn't focus on him as much, and if he never comes back then it's not her fault. She continued with all her studies and preparing for her own exams, spending time with her friends and making short trips to her favorite meadow. 

She's always found the breeze blowing against her skin, the silence of the field aside from the couple of birds chirping and the insects that have made the grass their home, comforting in a way. She loved being outside even as a young girl, it seemed to be the only place she could go to escape the chaos and loud feelings of her life. She never hesitated to step outside whenever her parents began to raise their voices, or after a long day filled with stress. 

As she sits against the tall oak tree, the leaves shading her from the heat of the Florida sun, she can feel the stress of the past few days leave her body. She smiles happily as the grass tickles her skin, and at this moment she feels at home. 

- - - - 

The next couple of days, she still hasn't heard from Harry about their next session and midterms are coming soon and she'd hate to be the reason Harry fails. The only thing coming into mind is to make her way to the principal's office and demand that he comes to sessions but she knows that won't work. It'll just cause Harry to hate her even more if that's even remotely possible. She sighs as she walks out the school doors and down the steps, a slight pep in her step and a soft smile placed delicately on her lips.

She skips over happily to the bike rack and unties her own, slowly pulling it backwards until she's a good distance from the rack. She stops briefly as something catches her eye. With one hand shielding her eyes from the harsh sun as she scans the crowd, she smiles brightly as she lands on a familiar figure, the loose curls gathered in a pony tail and the leather jacket are all too familiar to her, so without thinking she begins to move towards him. Her legs carry her through the crowd of students until she's standing directly behind him. Her hand comes up to tap gently on his shoulder, stepping backwards so he can turn around. 

He turns around, scowl already forming on his lips as his eyes meet hers. His fists clench at his side and he shakes his head. He quickly turns back around and opens his car, not caring about the conversation he was in the middle of. She frowns slightly before walking behind him as he aggressively opens the door and gets in, making sure to glare at her when her hand reaches out to rest on his door. 

"What the fuck could y’possibly want?" He asks and she frowns slightly. 

"You've been ignoring me." He scoffs lightly at her response as he sticks his keys in and starts the car. 

"Get the hint then, lala." He gently begins to tug on the door, just because he's an asshole doesn't mean he's just gonna let her get hurt physically.

She frowns as she keeps her hand on the door. 

"Just because it was one bad study session - keep in mind it was only bad because of you - doesn't mean you can be even more of an asshole to me. I know you don't wanna fail, you wanna get the hell out of here as fast as possible." He stares at her blankly as she speaks. 

"I don't care if you like me or not because frankly I don't like you right now. I've tried to schedule sessions and all I get is radio silence. If you want this to be over as soon as possible, then you need to try. You need to work with me, not against me. If you wanna pass, I'll be at the library in the same spot all week. If you don't, then you better tell the principal you canceled our study session and whatever bullshit you need to say. I want you to know that if you fail, you can not blame me because you did this yourself." She says as her grip on the door loosens. He furrows his eyebrows as he stares at her intensely, his frown prominent as his eyes size her up. 

He lets out a defeated sigh as he shuts his eyes and turns his head slightly, his curls tickling his neck as they slide over it. 

"Fucking fine, two days from now I guess we can meet up and study some more. Is that all?" His voice lacks any eagerness but that doesn't deter her from cracking a big smile at him before she skips off towards the bike rack. His eyes never leave her retreating figure even after she pedals out of the parking lot and down the street. 

He's so stuck in his brain that he doesn't hear his friend Alex walk up beside him, the feeling of a hand slapping him on the shoulder startles him from the trance he was in. He snaps his head around and nods his head once in acknowledgement, Alex smiles at him briefly. 

"Wassup man, why're you being weird?" Harry shakes his head as a frown quickly begins to form on his face. 

"The fuck are you talking about?" Harry asks and Alex chuckles, a hand flying out to grasp Harry's shoulder in response. 

"You've been staring into space since what's her face left." Harry shakes his head in response as he chuckles. 

"Nothin' like that. S'all taken care of." Alex nods once before releasing his hold on Harry's leather clad shoulder. 

"Me and a couple of buds are going to the bar tonight, you wanna come?" Harry nods once in agreement before they say their goodbyes. 

- - - - 

Y/N sits on the couch beside her closest friend, Leya, aimlessly scrolling through the channels on the television. Their phones are discarded on the coffee table in front of them as they make small talk as they search for something to watch. The day's been boring for both of them, Y/N went to school and then headed over to Leya's house where her friend's been cooped up all day. 

"We should go out tonight." Leya says after settling on some cooking show. 

She sets the remote on the table before turning to face Y/N beside her, her eyes meeting confused ones. 

"It's a school night... Why on earth would we go out?" She asks and Leya chuckles. 

"We won't be out late, promise. Just tired of being cooped up inside and we haven't hung out outside of these four walls in forever it seems. You've been busy." Y/N smiles softly as she tucks one leg underneath her as she bites her bottom lip. 

She knows her best friend's idea of “not late” is much different than hers, they're more than likely going to be heading back to their places around one in the morning, meanwhile Y/N usually only stays out until eleven p.m. since she has early morning classes. She sighs before turning her gaze to her best friend, eagerness and excitement is written all over her face and she can't help but to return the excitement. A bright smile forms on her lips before she nods her head. 

"Where did you want to go and we're only staying out until midnight at the latest, I have to get up early." She can't help but smile at her friend's excitement. 

They both turn their gaze to the television, smiles etched on their faces as they focus on whatever the man on the screen is cooking. She knows this isn't a good idea because she knows they'll be out much later than intended simply because time won't matter once they're having fun. No one will be checking their phones and she doesn't even know where they're going!

She knows she hasn't had much time to properly hang out with her best friend because she's been doing a lot more. She's been juggling school with tutoring two different students and trying to snag some hours in at the local library for a little side cash. She can't help but to feel bad, but there's nothing she can do about it now and she's sure her friend understands why. 

Leya goes on and on about a bar nearby that's under new management and is supposed to be so much better and how she wants to try it. 

 "They have a better selection of drinks, live music! This sounds like so much fun I promise you won't regret it. Please say you'll go, you have to! I'm afraid I'll die if you say no." Leya says, placing a hand on her forehead to feed into the dramatics as she rests her upper half over the couch armrest. 

Y/N can't help but to laugh at her friend as she rolls her eyes playfully. 

"You're silly. You know I was gonna say yes regardless, you deserve a proper fun night out." Leya's face might be broken with how hard she's smiling, white teeth showcased fully and her eyes barely showing as she quickly shortens the small distance between to embrace her best friend into a tight hug. 

"I could quite literally kiss you right now, you're the best friend ever! I'm so excited, thank you thank you!" She squeals before pulling away to plant a sloppy kiss on Y/N's cheek causing the girl to laugh as she wipes it away with the back of her hand. 

A comfortable silence falls over them as they turn their attention back to the television, the man's voice playing in the background as he talks about whatever dish he's making for the day. Her head lays on Leya's shoulder as they continue to watch tv, a happy smile on her face as she enjoys the company and peaceful bliss. 

- - - - 

Several hours later, Y/N finds herself standing in front of the standing floor mirror holding two different dresses. She takes turns in holding the dresses up to her body as she tries to decide which one she wants to wear. She doesn't wanna put too much effort in her appearance since she knows it'll all be sweated off by the end of the night. 

She ends up choosing a simple black dress, one that hugs her curves nicely with lace detailing around the edges and stops mid thigh. It's plain enough so she won't stand out too much, but dressy enough to show she actually put some effort into her appearance. After she slips it on, she applies some light makeup and styles her hair and decides to leave her curls to flow down her back. 

She walks out of Leya's room and into the living room where she's met with her best friends' figure leaning over the kitchen island as she applies a pink tinted lipstick over her lips, the burgundy dress compliments her caramel skin, hugging her curves but flaring out towards the bottom with an open back and stops mid thigh. Her hair has been pinned back as it rests in the matching burgundy hair clip. She can't help but to smile as she watches her friend add the finishing touches to her makeup before choosing to speak up. 

"You look super pretty, Leya. Is that dress new?" Leya turns around and smiles just as big as she nods. 

"Yes! Oh my gosh, you look to die for! Spin for me baby!" Leya exclaims and Y/N can't help but to giggle as she does a spin, her white heels clicking against the tile floor with every step.

They both laugh as they embrace each other in a tight hug before walking out the door and towards Leya's car. The soft breeze blowing against her skin and she smiles as she steps inside the car. Leya hops into the driver seat and starts the car making sure to roll Y/N's window down as she drives down the street. The trees and houses turn into a blur, the breeze fanning her face as she lays her head on the open space on the car door. 

- - - - 

The smell of weed quickly fills Y/N's nose as she steps out of the car and lets her eyes sweep over the building. There's a couple of guys huddled in the far side of the building, she can only assume they're smoking the weed by how clouds of smoke keep blowing in the air every couple of seconds. She can see the side profile of one of the guys and she can't help the small gasp that escapes her lips when she realizes that one of the guys is Harry. 

He's dressed like normal, a white dress shirt halfway unbuttoned to show off his swallows tattoos and his toned chest, a pair of black skinny jeans and his signature brown Chelsea boots, his hair resting right at his shoulders instead of his usual bun. She can hear Leya clear her throat from behind her and she turns around to meet her gaze with a sly smile. 

They don't say anything to each other before Leya's grabbing her hand and heading towards the entrance and she laughs as Leya yells. 

"Party time baby!" The sound of her friend's voice causes Harry and his friends to look over and she catches a glimpse of his signature frown beginning to form. 

She refuses to let him ruin a perfectly good night so she sends him a sarcastic smile before she's dragged through the door and directly to the bar, she staggers behind her friend as her heels clack against the wooden floor. She quickly apologizes to everyone she bumps into as she tries to make herself as small as possible, earning a few nasty glares in the process. It doesn't take long for the two girls to reach the bar and they quickly hop onto the bar stools, the leather squeaks underneath with every move. 

The music is loud and Y/N can feel the vibrations through the stool, even though she just walked in the heat from all the dancing bodies enveloping her, wrapping her in a warm hug. The bartender comes over and sends both of them a flirty smile as he leans on the counter top. 

"And what can I get for you lovely ladies?" He asks and they both let out a giggle. Leya's the first to answer as she smiles back. 

"I'd like a sex on the beach please!" The waiter nods in response as he gathers everything he needs and begins to make her drink. 

Y/N doesn't know what she wants to drink, she's never been a heavy drinker, she doesn't like the bitterness of beer or the burn of tequila as it flows down her throat. She usually sticks with water or tea, something non-alcoholic or something sweet when she's out so she turns her head and pleads with Leya. Wide eyes begging for help to make herself feel better about her decision which causes her friend to laugh softly before nodding her head. 

The waiter comes back with a smile as he hands Leya's drink to her and turns to Y/N, flashing her a flirty smile as well. 

"And what can I get started for you, pretty?" Y/N smiles politely back at him before Leya interrupts them. 

"Do you by any chance have anything fruity?" The bartender nods and quickly mixes her drink and hands it to her, it's orange and looks just like orange juice and she can make out a few ice cubes floating around. 

She hesitantly brings the cup to her lips and takes a small sip, expecting to feel the burn in her throat or taste the bitter aftertaste that'll linger on her taste buds. Surprisingly she doesn't taste any of it, it's sweet and tastes just like orange juice. She licks her lips before taking a longer sip and nods. 

"I like this! What's it called?" She asks and the bartender chuckles softly before he replies.

"It's called a screwdriver. It's orange juice and vodka. I'd be careful with that, because it's so easy to drink it'll get you pretty tipsy fast. Don't just drown it, small sips." She nods gingerly as she turns to Leya. 

"Want some?" Leya shakes her head softly as she sends a smile to Y/N, one full of love and happiness she can't help but to send a reciprocated smile back. 

The bartender leaves them to chat idly as the music plays, loud enough to cause them to lean into each other to make sure they're heard correctly. Leya talks about how she can't believe that Y/N is out and drinking, making jokes about where has her friend gone because the girl she knows wouldn't be caught dead in a bar, let alone outside her apartment at this time. Y/N chuckles before playfully pushing her friend's shoulder and taking another sip of her drink. 

As their eyes glaze over the crowd full of dancing people, Leya nudges her softly causing her to turn her head briefly where she's met with a smirk. 

"You know Harry's here?" Y/N chuckles before nodding. 

"Saw him outside before we came in. Didn't look too happy to see me." She shrugs before taking another sip of her drink. She watches as her friend shakes her head and rolls her eyes. 

"Still nothing huh? I don't even understand why he dislikes you so strongly. You said you confronted him in the parking lot? Did nothing happen?" Y/N can feel her frown beginning to form at the thought of her outburst at him. 

"No, he just stared like a statue the whole time before he very reluctantly agreed to another study session. I hate to feel like I'm forcing him but I refuse to let him fail under my watch you know? I know he can do better." Y/N takes another sip of her drink as she begins to drum her fingers on her thigh to the rhythm of the song playing. 

Leya smiles as she sips her own, she loves that most about her best friend. The fact that no matter what she's always seen the best in people and never treated them the way they treat her. 

"Let's play a game." The smirk is back on her lips as she sets her drink on the counter behind her. 

"What could we possibly play at the bar Leya?"  Her curiosity is getting the best of her, she always had fun with her and this wouldn't be any different.

"Let's see how many people end up fucking tonight. You take a sip if you end up losing your guess, and the other person takes a sip if you guess correctly." Y/N can't help the shiver of excitement that runs through her body at the game description and so she nods her head excitedly as both eyes trail over the crowd. 

- - - - 

Several wrong guesses and a couple correct ones, Y/N can feel the warmth of her cheeks and she's a giggling mess. She's never felt more at peace as she leans her head on her friend's shoulder. They've left their multiple glasses behind as they sway lightly and slowly to the very upbeat song, not caring about the nasty glares they're receiving or the way the bass of the song vibrates in her chest. They've forgotten the game a while ago, after Leya's guesses got more incorrect and Y/N's guesses became slurred words and giggles. 

She's never been a heavy drinker so she considers herself a lightweight when it comes to alcohol and at this moment it shows. Y/N's more gone than Leya is - she's borderline tipsy, still able to form sentences and can kinda walk in a straight enough line if she concentrates hard enough. So Y/N leans her weight on her friend as she wraps her arms around her waist and snuggles her face into her neck, neither girl caring about her makeup that will definitely leave a stain as they sway. 

"Leys.." a giggle escapes her lips at the new nickname coming from her before she turns her head upwards to gaze at her best friend. 

"Yes, honey bunny?" Leya brings one hand up to her head and softly runs her hand through Y/N's curls as she laughs softly, she can feel Y/N begin to relax in her hold and she chuckles softly. 

"Love you." She mumbles and she can feel a soft kiss on the top of her hair and the tightening of Leya's arms around her shoulders. 

"Love you too sweets. Are you feeling okay?" Y/N softly nods her head against Leya's chest. 

A couple seconds past, a comfortable silence looming over them before Y/N gasps and pulls away. 

"What? What's wrong?" Leya's face is laced with concern, eyebrows raised and eyes wide as she stares at the drunk girl. 

"You're my best friend!" She exclaims and lets out a small giggle. Relief floods over Leya's face and turns into a loving smile. 

"And you're mine, forever and always." She breaks into a big smile, one that makes her cheeks hurt and shows off all of her teeth, one that seems to brighten up the decently lit building. 

The music has seemed to fade away into the background, it doesn't seem as loud anymore but she can still feel the bass vibrating through her body as she very clumsily dances alongside her best friend. Hands, arms, and sides bump into one another throughout her time shared on the dance floor, she can't bring herself to care about any of that. The only thing that matters at the moment is that she'll be happy and she's having fun, she can't remember a time she's felt so loose. 

She stops her dancing around to stumble over to the bar once more, their glasses cleaned off and the bartender already ready with a medium sized glass cup. 

"Are you thirsty?" He says as he pushes the cup towards her, the condensation leaves a wet trail against the wooden countertop and she shakes her head. 

"New cup please, no drugs." She giggles slightly at herself and sets her hand on the table. She focuses her attention on the bartender as he pours out the water and rinses the cup. He quickly pours her some fresh water and she giggles as she thanks him, their fingers brushing over another as she grabs her cup from him and takse a sip.

She's managed to lose Leya in such a short time, her eyes flitting over the crowd but she can't seem to focus on finding her friend when her eyes land on Harry's signature curls and leather jacket. She giggles before taking a big sip of the water and sets her cups on the counter as she hops down from the stool and begins to clumsily make her way over to Harry. She bumps into a couple people on the way over, saying excuse me before she bursts into small fits of giggle with every bump. 

She almost trips over someone sitting near Harry, her hand coming out to grab onto the closest thing to her and she quickly grabs onto someone's chair. 

"Watch it!" The guy yells at her and she quickly pushes herself up and apologizes, a soft laugh coming out from her lips as her eyes lock onto Harry's. His face is bare, no frown placed on it but his hazy eyes show just the hint of annoyance. His eyes wander over her body as she just stands there before he leans forward and his eyes flick up to hers as his hands slowly come up to her frame. He ever so gently and very carefully takes the end of her dress and tugs it down from its resting position from at the top of her thighs to the middle of her thigh. 

After he's satisfied he quickly pulls back and grabs the joint from Alex's hand and takes a hit, he enjoys the burn in his throat as he inhales and watches the smoke as he exhales. He finds that her presence isn't as infuriating like this, his eyes travel down her frame - taking in the way her hair flows, and the dress and just how well it compliments her curves, the way she plays with her fingers and the slight sway she has as she stands in place. 

She then quickly breaks out into a big smile and stumbles closer to Harry. 

"Hi!" He frowns slightly before nodding to her in acknowledgment. 

"Have you seen Leya?" She hiccups softly before letting out a small laugh. He shakes his head before turning to his friend.

"Seen her friend?" His friend shakes his head as well and he turns his gaze back to her. 

"Go look around. Couldn't have gone too far. She shouldn't have left you like this anyways." She frowns at that before shaking her head.

"I left her, got thirsty. The nice bartender gave me water with no drugs." She giggles before turning around and pointing to the man standing behind the counter, his eyes already fixed on her. 

Harry leans slightly to stare at the man before looking back to her and sighing in annoyance as he stands up. He tells his friends he'll be right back as he walks the couple steps to stand in front of the intoxicated girl. 

"C'mon then, let's see if we can find her." His voice gruff as she turns around and begins to stumble her way through the crowd, bumping into a guy and causing him to spill his drink. 

"Fucking bitch. You owe me a drink!" He watches as she flinches slightly at the already drunk man's tone. 

Harry can't help but to frown as he steps forward and stares at the man with anger clouding his eyes. 

"Talk to her with fucking respect, douchebag." He says as he steps back and reaches into his pocket to grab his wallet, opening it up and grabs a couple dollars and roughly hands it to him.

"Now shut the fuck up and get your drink." He says and walks over to Y/N and lays his hand on her shoulder as he pushes her to the bar gently. The girl giggles and thanks Harry for saving her from the 'scary man' as they make it to the counter. 

"Are you ready for another one, pretty girl?" The waiter asks and she shakes her head softly. Harry can't help but to clear his throat in an attempt to get the attention off of the girl beside him. 

"We're actually looking for her friend, have you seen her?" The bartender's eyes flick back and forth between Y/N and Harry before nodding his head. 

"Yeah, she went into the bathroom with some guy a little bit ago." Harry scoffs as he grabs Y/N's hand and leads her to the door. 

She squeals before she smacks Harry's hand. 

"Hey! Harry! Slow down! Wait! She's in there!! Can't leave her!" She yells, but Harry shows no sign of stopping. His hair flows in the air behind  him as he drags her to the door, the sound of her heels clicking against the wooden floor just barely audible over to the sound of the drums on the stage. He doesn't stop until they've made it outside the door and he stops abruptly and runs his hand through his hair. 

"Can't leave Leys, Harry. Love her. She's my best friend! We gotta go back!" She huffs and he shakes his head. 

"No can do, lala. Your best friend is hooking up with some random fucking guy instead of making sure you're okay. M'taking you home. What's your address?" He takes out his phone and opens the *Maps* app, she does nothing but glare at him. 

"Don't want you, want Leya." She says as she turns around and heads to the door. 

He rolls his eyes as he moves to stand in front of her and softly places his hands on her shoulders. 

"C'mon Y/N. M'not gonna hurt you. Just let me take you home." He says, his voice surprisingly soft and she shakes her head and crosses her arms. 

"You're not Leya." He rolls his eyes at this. 

"M'doing both of us a favor by continuing these sessions, it's the least you can do. You're drunk off your fucking ass and your best friend doesn’t seem too worried about you. C'mon and let me take you home. Can you not be so stubborn for once, you're in no condition to be anywhere but in your own bed." Her bottom lip juts out and begins to wobble and he sighs. 

"Leya cares 'bout me, she's worried right now. Let me inside, you don't care. Just gonna hold this over my head tomorrow." She says as she reaches into her purse for her phone. 

She quickly grabs it and unlocks it, her finger clicking on the phone icon and clicking on Leya's name and clicking the speaker icon. The phone rings several times and Y/N bites her bottom lip nervously, the time taking forever with each second that the phone doesn't click and her friend's voice comes through. After a while the phone goes to voicemail and she can't help the few tears that fall from her eyes and onto her cheeks. She dejectedly nods her head and follows Harry to his and she only manages to bump into a few cars along the way. 

Harry sighs before coming next to her and ever so gently wraps his arm around her waist, not touching her but enough to keep her from stumbling too much and setting off someone's car. It's almost too easy for her to melt into his hold as her head comes to rest on his shoulder and wraps her own arm around him, she's too far gone to take note of the way his body tenses up underneath her touch. It takes the both of them longer to get to his car than it would if it was just him because of the way she keeps stumbling over cracks in the road or just her own two feet. He opens the door for her and allows her to get in and sets his jacket on her lap just in case, he's careful when strapping her in - trying his best not to touch her too much and announcing his every move for her to nod and giggle. 

- - - - 

After a couple wrong directions from Y/N talking over the voice coming from the speaker, Harry manages to pull into her driveway and parks the car. He gets out after telling her to stay put, walking around the car to her side, opening the door and unbuckling her, being gentle with her as he helps her out of the car and towards her house. When they reach the front door, he taps her on the shoulder and nods to the door. 

"You got your keys?" His voice comes out softer than usual, taking on a more gentle tone with the girl and it only confuses him more. He hates that he’s trying to be gentle with her, how he can see that she’s more vulnerable now and doesn’t want to upset her. Y/N nods before reaching into her purse and surprisingly fast she pulls out her keychain, the various keys jingling against each other as she uses the other hand to pick at each key. 

Right when her fingers begin to wrap around her house key, they slip through her grasp and make a loud jingle as they hit the floor. 

"Whoopsie." She giggles as she bends down, Harry follows suit as his own hand reaches out to grab it and he manages to beat her to it as his right hand wraps around the keychain. They both stand up at the same time causing them both to hit their head against the other, she frowns as one hand comes up to rub her head. Harry can't help but to crack a smile at the sight before he shakes his head and unlocks her door, opening it fully as his arm wraps around her waist. 

His fingers are just barely touching her dress as he guides her in the house, quietly shutting the door before asking him to lead her into her own room. She giggles softly as she nods, her own hand coming to rest on top of his as they walk into her room. Harry's not disgusted by her room, in fact it reminds him of earlier years, the various posters of plants and paintings, post it notes with words of encouragement and a decent sized calendar line the plain white walls, her beige comforter set contrasts the soft pink carpet that rests underneath her bed and he can spot a flower vase full of various flowers sitting on top of her dresser accompanied by other small decorations. 

Her room just screams… her, it's something that you'd expect to see from her and he can't complain. For as long as he can remember she's always been so predictable when it comes to anything really, and so as he leads her to the bed her door catches on the leg of her dresser causing her to begin to fall forward. She squeals as she prepares for the hard impact against the floor but it never comes, Harry's arms are wrapped around her securely, his fingers digging into her waist as he pulls her up. 

"For fucks sake, slow down will you. I need you alive so I can pass this stupid test. Don't want you to damage that useful brain of yours huh?" He can't help to add a teasing tone to his voice and she shakes her head. 

"Can you get dressed by yourself?" He asks and she shakes her head. 

He quickly heads to her dresser and waits for instructions that never seem to come, so slowly he opens one of her drawers - wary not to open one he definitely does not want to open, and he's met with a collection of hoodies and large shirts. So he quickly grabs one and tosses it to her, not bothering to look back as he speaks. 

"D'ya need shorts or anything?" He's met with silence and he turns around to see her gaze on him, her features soft and a hint of smile plays at her lips. 

"Y/N. Did ya hear me?" He says and still no response, so he steps closer and bends down so they're eye level causing her to break from her trance. 

"Huh, what?" She slurs as she blinks fast, her breath fanning over his face so he quickly leans back. 

"D'ya need shorts to sleep in?" She shakes her head as her cheeks fills with heat.

"What were you staring at?" He knows he doesn't care but his curiosity gets the best of him. 

"You're jus' really pretty, s'all." She replies, her mouth moves before he brain can process what she’s saying. 

He shakes his head at her before heading to her door. 

"M'pretty now? Be careful Y/N or someone might think y'like me. But thank you, I guess one might say you looked pretty tonight as well, not me though." He says as he walks out the door and closes it behind it. Her head is swimming as she stands up and begins to tug her dress off her body. It takes her a couple of attempts but she finally manages to drag the garment off her frame and she tosses it onto the edge of her bed before slipping on the shirt Harry tossed at her. 

She quickly sits on her bed and grabs the closest thing to her to help cover her bare legs, resulting in his jacket covering the upper half as she tells him to come in. The door squeaks as it opens and he sticks his head in before walking inside. His eyes flick to his jacket covering her bare thighs and one hand clenches into a fist.

"Harry?" His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of her voice and he opens his eyes to stare at her. 

"Why don't you like me?" She tilts her head forward as she gathers her hair into a bun. 

"Never said I didn't lala, don't go into that big head of yours." He leans backwards against her door frame and watches as she takes a big breath. 

"You always get irritated in my presence and you're more mean to me than anyone else." She begins to fiddle with her fingers as she ducks her head down. 

Harry sighs before coming to sit next to her on the bed, choosing to sit on the farthest side to protect anything from happening. 

"All I'm gonna say is I don't not like you. Now come lay down so I can leave." He says and stands up, pulling her blankets down and helps her get into bed, making sure she's covered fully. His head is tilted down as he finishes the last touches and she turns her head to the side to tell him thank you and apologize but she's met with the softness of his lips. It's quick and most definitely was an accident by the way he jerks back as if he got burned. 

Y/N lets out a nervous giggle before she sits up, her shirt beginning to slip down her shoulder and Harry frowns. 

"I'm sorry, so sorry! I actually wanted to apologize when I turned. So uh sorry about everything, fuck I'm sorry." Her mouth is moving a mile a minute, the words slurring together as they spill from her lips. 

Harry shakes his head as he exhales a shaky breath, he quickly walks out the room and attempts to make his way into her bathroom, opening up one cabinet to grab the small bottle of pain pills and walks into her kitchen. He opens all the cabinets and searches for a spare cup, quickly spotting it as he fills it halfway and heads back into her room, quietly setting both items down on the wooden bedside table and makes his way out the door and into his car. 

His mind is racing the whole drive there and the only that he can think of is how pretty she looked and the way her lips felt against his, he knows he's fucked up by choosing to help her and now look what happened. As his foot presses down onto the gas pedal and the car begins to drive faster, cursing himself the whole ride there and he hopes she won't remember any of this in the morning.

[moonfirecookies]

This is why i love the Beasts. Don’t get me wrong, they really did some really messed up stuff (While we do not know what Eternal Sugar Cookie or Silent Salt Cookie did just yet, but we can speculate), and destroyed so many lives after their corruption. But it’s what happened before the corruption that makes them so special in my eyes.

These cookies were baked with the biggest responsibility of their lives. The witches just gave it to them and expected them to figure it out.

As a result, they slowly were consumed by their responsibilities and the expectations of everyone around them. They only had themselves to go to. It’s just sad they had to turn out the way they did for the Witches to actually do something about it. We don’t know what the relationship between the Witches and Beasts were like before their fall, and it might forever be a mystery, but if they did try to go to the Witches for help, and they never came? That makes this a whole lot worse in my mind.

Imagine you are born and given the biggest responsibility you can’t even fathom, and as you slowly start to break from the stress and try to call your creators for help, they do nothing. Only to finally do something after you snap. Then seem to just replace you with five new cookies with half of your power.

Shadow Milk, who had all the knowledge in Earthbread, possibly just forced upon him and left with the overwhelming truth (speculation)

Mystic Flour, who had to see the worst of cookies that only wanted more and more (to the point she was overwhelmed by their wishes) , until she got to the point where all cookies are selfish and greedy, and must embrace her belief of Apathy to get rid of their suffering

Burning Spice, who has to see history constantly repeat itself… over, and over, and over again until he couldn’t take it anymore, of course there’s the more in depth stuff above me but still.

And while we know nothing about Eternal Sugar and Silent Salt, I can always speculate.

Eternal Sugar could have tried all she can to make all cookies happy, but in the end couldn’t, not even her own friends, so she becomes tired and sad, her actions being seen as a form of Sloth

Silent Salt is more complicated considering his original virtue is Solidarity. Maybe he couldn’t unify cookies, or desperately tried to at the very end, until he went silent.

TLDR: like the post and reblog above, they were doomed to fail. With their individual issues, to their immortality, to the responsibilities given to them, to even the lack of support from anyone but themselves.

A Thought About Burning Spice Cookie

I was kind of just going about my business today when I had a sort of... revelation, I guess? About Burning Spice. Looking back, I'm not really sure why it took me so long to think of this, but I like to live by the ideal "the best time was then, the second best time is now", so here we go.

Burning Spice was once the Herald of Change (or History, in the original Korean text). He was said to have fought for and defended fledgling civilizations in the distant past, protecting people and helping them in dark times. His throne decor even says he used to let people into his palace and allow them to engage in honest discussion with him about their problems, after which he'd get up and go out and do something about those problems. He sounded like a pretty swell guy... until he got bored with everything and went insane, of course. But here's the thing.

I think I understand why he ended up this way.

To put it as vaguely as possible, I do stuff in real life that may or may not have something to do with history as a subject. And I will gladly tell you all point-blank: history is fucking horrible. History is bleak. History is dark and cruel. The more you dive into it, the more it appears to you as a joke without a punchline. History is a drama, a tragedy, and a big fucking farce all at the same time.

Of course Burning Spice got tired of it. I get tired of it sometimes. Because sometimes, all history ever seems to be is a bunch of delinquents writing "I'm a bad kid" on the chalkboard repeatedly forever and ever. Just a bunch of bad people hurting each other for reasons that'll only come across as stupid long after they've all died at each other's hands. I'm sure Burning Spice started to think "what's even the point of building anything if someone is just going to come tear it down?" And it's hard to not think that when that's what ALWAYS happens. That's what history is a lot of the time. Brutal competition. A war of all against all.

The cure to the cynicism and melancholy history can and will inflict on you, at least in my opinion, is... to stop dwelling on it, honestly. At the end of the day, you have to remember that the past is gone. What's done is done. Things happen and sometimes, you can't do anything about it. You can't go back and save Lincoln from being assassinated. You can't go back and stop the Holocaust. You can't go back and save the world from all those wars and famines and disease epidemics. History both changes constantly and is unchanging at the same time. You have to make peace with what you cannot change - the past - and move forward, because time won't wait for you. We have to remember these things, these dark times; we all have a duty to do so, for the sake of those that came before us and those that will come after. But we also have to remember to live for the sake of those around us here and now. It is the present that shapes the world the most. It is in the present that we find true happiness. Not in the yellowed pages of old textbooks about the past and not in the pie-in-the-sky fever dreams we have about the future.

I think that's what fucked Burning Spice over. He forgot to live in the present. He was so focused on bringing about change, so absorbed in giving everything he had to everyone else, so invested in preserving the past and paving the way for the future, that he started losing sight of what was already there in front of him. His friends. His people. Too much time spent on the bigger picture and not enough spent on the tiny details that don't seem important at first glance, but when you look closer, you realize are what made the whole, entire picture important in the first place. He, like many do, like I do, began to see how cyclical and futile history can really be. He just saw people looking for reasons to hurt one another and destroy anything good they'd built together. Civilizations that were once grand and prosperous falling to anarchy. Clans with close ties turning against one another. Friend groups fracturing. All this hard work, undone, over and over again. And for what? What did they do any of this for? What did HE do any of this for?

I think his descent into villainy was slow, but sure. A little piece of his soul crumbling to dust with every person he felt like he failed because whatever great change he enacted was undone and everyone else suffered for it. And no one was really there to help steer him back onto the right path. Not his friends, not his family, not his people at large. Whether this was because they didn't know he was hurting like this (he seems like the type to keep things close to the chest anyway), they didn't know how to help or comfort him, or they didn't care, ultimately does not matter; regardless, it boils down to Burning Spice never being reminded to find solace in those around him right now, instead of constantly fretting over those before or after.

Maybe if he did remember, if he paid more attention to what IS and not what WAS or what WILL BE, he could've been saved. If he'd let Shadow Milk tell him more about his books and the little puppets he liked to craft. If he listened to Eternal Sugar play her harp more. If he sat and played a few more rounds of Go with Mystic Flour. If he had a friendly sparring match or two extra with Silent Salt. If he ate and drank and danced with his fellow spices like he probably used to like doing. If he stopped thinking he always had to be this larger-than-life figure who lorded over and protected society, and just let himself breathe and be a normal, happy person. It wouldn't make the ultimate folly of history sting any less, but he could have at least made peace with it and continued onward in spite of it.

But he didn't. He succumbed to history's poison, like so many have and so many will. And in an ironic twist of fate, which you will also often find throughout history, the tide of change swallowed him whole and drowned him. He let the failures of yesterday color his perception of today, and tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. More and more people came across to him as bad actors until the whole world was just a devil's stage play, and it was being performed at his expense. Hard work and self-sacrifice lost its flavor. He tried to keep going, tried to keep pushing himself. Maybe he knew what was happening to him on some level and fought desperately to save himself. Put duct tape over the cracks in a dam, because that's probably all it amounted to, because the wisdom he needed didn't exist within him at that time and he didn't/couldn't find it anywhere else. Pushed forward even when he couldn't see where he was going anymore. Until every muscle in his body hurt. Until he'd lived long enough to see everything he ever lived and worked for be taken apart for scrap, for a vendetta, for shits and giggles.

Until he started looking at those bandits and warlords and terrorists he used to help put away and thinking... "hey. Maybe they're seeing something I'm not. If nothing else at all, they sure look like they're having fun. Way more than I am right now." Until he gave in to despair and grew bitter, and thought "well, if nothing I do really matters, if destroying it all is what makes people happy, then maybe I should give it a shot."

And then he became a bandit, a warlord, a terrorist. He turned into all those people he hated and continues to hate today. He cut out the middle-man and just ended lives before they could begin. Razed civilizations to the ground because that was what was going to happen anyway, whether it be by his hand or someone else's. What does it even matter? What does anything matter? This is all history is. Pain and suffering. He's only doing what's natural. He's solving problems before they can even occur, really. He's doing everyone a REAL favor. Destruction truly is the only way.

The best way to make the world a better place is to make the lives of those around you better first. Even just helping the one person makes a difference in its own way. Think less about making history by winning a war or toppling a regime and more about making history in an old person's life by helping them up when they fall down. Or making history in a dog's life by volunteering at an animal shelter. Or making history in your friends' lives by having a fun day with them that they'll remember and cherish even on their deathbeds. Change doesn't have to be grand. It doesn't need to be an all-consuming tide that rises above the tallest buildings. It can just be gentle waves and seafoam, washing over the sand and kissing one's feet. That's enough, more often than not. More than one might realize.

Maybe if somebody made sure Burning Spice kept this in mind, he wouldn't have turned into a Beast in the end.

TL;DR: History is shit. Him losing it makes perfect sense. I probably would have, too. Somebody should've been there to keep him grounded. Everyone failed him and he failed himself. Remember to live in the present. YO SOCRATES, IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE

[allastoredeer]

Controversial opinion but I think Lucifer gets babied too much by the fandom. Like I get that he has mental health issues but seeing all this fanmedia of women and men of color nannying this white-adjacent man who has been shown to be an incompetent and absent husband, father and leader. Just. Grinds my gears.

Not saying I hate Lucifer but... when people frame past radiostatic with current radioapple as a huge upgrade, it reeks of a woman leaving her abusive ex for a neglectful husband. While I'm glad Lucifer is a step up from Adam, I need to see actual improvements if I don't want to get the ick.

Agreed.

I massively agree.

Lucifer gets babied a lot. And like you said, yes, he has mental health issues and that's valid, but a lot of the time, it feels like his mental health issues become a scapegoat for his flaws and bad behavior.

Depression is a legit reason for Lucifer to struggle to maintain relationships and reach out to those he cares about. As someone who has suffered from depression, I understand pulling away from people, feeling like you need a reason to reach out to someone, having a negative opinion of oneself, getting overwhelmed with anxiety, even ignoring other people's attempts at reaching out to me because it's just...too hard and it's too much and you're stuck in this cycle that you can't break out of.

HOWEVER

Lucifer's depression doesn't take away from the fact that he's neglected Charlie as a parent. It doesn't negate the fact that he has acted condescendingly towards her and her ambitions. It doesn't counteract the fact that Charlie felt uncomfortable and awkward for a majority of their interactions in "Dad Beat Dad."

I sympathize with Lucifer having depression, but unfortunately, mental illness doesn't just effect you, it also effects the people around you, and i can't fault Charlie for her feelings too.

Because at the end of the day, Lucifer is Charlie's father.

Charlie is his child.

And as a parent, he has responsibilities. Ones that he failed to meet, which would have an effect on Charlie as children are meant to rely on their parents.

It's very telling that Charlie calls Lilith (who's been MIA for 7 years) more than she calls Lucifer (who's probably just a few Circles away). And no, I don't think this is because Lilith kept them separated and all that bullshit. I think Lucifer 100% had a hand in his and Charlie's estranged relationship and I hate it when he's passed off as nothing but a victim in all of it.

I hate it when he's boiled down to sad depressed man who's done nothing wrong. He has done plenty wrong.

And that's okay.

Because that's what makes his character good. He is multi-faceted. He is flawed. You can be depressed and still treat the people around you bad. I don't think Lucifer ever meant to be an absent parent, he obviously loves Charlie with all his heart, but that doesn't mean Charlie wasn't affected by his actions.

She very obviously was. Charlie is one of the most positive people in the show (to an extent that it becomes one of her flaws too), but the minute she called Lucifer it was a complete flip of how we normally see her. She was immediately annoyed. Her patience was already wire-thin. She was close to snapping so many times.

And I can see why. He only calls when he's bored/wants/needs something. He forgot about where she was and what she was doing despite her already telling him. He told her that he'd do anything to help her, and then said "no" the minute she asked.

Also, let's not forget how he answered the phone in the first place.

"Heeey, bitch!"

And look, it was funny. I laughed too. I still think it's funny.

But, imagine you called your dad for the first time in years (a dad you have a very strained relationship with) and the first thing you hear is a peppy, "Heeeeey, bitch!"

Like??? I can't blame Charlie for being annoyed as all hell, okay? I get the sense that she's been putting up with this bullshit for a VERY long time ad she's lost all patience for it. She's done. She's sick of it. She's been disappointed one too many times.

Also, yes, it's not just that Lucifer has been an absent father but he's been a neglectful ruler too. I wouldn't be surprised if Pentagram City has as much respect for him as they do for Charlie. I mean

HE SIGNED OFF ON THE EXTERMINATIONS

Lucifer gave the go-ahead for a yearly genocide of the people he rules over. Can we get some repercussions for that? Do you know how many people lost their friends? Family? Lovers? Vaggie literally spared a child--a CHILD. And I doubt that was the first kid ever confronted by an Exorcist.

Imagine that Cherri died during an Extermination and here we have Angel Dust meeting the person who stepped aside and let it happen. Do you think he wouldn't be mad?

Imagine Carmilla did lose her daughters during that Extermination. Do you really think she'd meet Lucifer and feel nothing but anger and contempt?

Personally, I think Lucifer agreeing to the Exterminations is what fractured his and Charlie's relationship. Like, fully fractured it. That was the last nail in the coffin.

And honestly, I WANT Lucifer to see the consequences of the Exterminations. I want him to have repercussions because that was an INCREDIBLY SHITTY THING TO DO. I imagine he didn't think there was any other option, but we also know that he didn't hold the sinners in high regard anyway. He had the lowest of low opinions of them. I doubt it took much convincing for him to agree.

Lucifer is the oldest being in the Pride Ring--he may be the oldest being in Hell. He's the most powerful person there. He is the embodiment of Pride. And he ACTS LIKE IT IN THE SHOW.

He has acted that way towards Charlie too. He didn't go to her hotel with an open mind. He wasn't actually listening to her plan or taking it into consideration. He played stupid when she asked him what he thought about it. And when the hotel was under attack, instead of stopping it (which he could easily done with a snap of his fingers), he was smirking and acting self-satisfied as he gloated about being "right" about Sinners.

And if you think I'm exaggerating then go rewatch that entire scene.

Look at him

He is acting so smug and he is rubbing it in Charlie's face.

LOOK AT CHARLIE! She is in distress. She is angry. And she is hurting. Her hotel is falling to pieces around her, her friends are in danger, and the whole time she had her dad gloating in her ear about why her dream is, essentially, a waste of time.

And the only thing that snapped him out of it was Charlie asking why Alastor (the one actually protecting the hotel) has more faith in her than her own father. It took Charlie bringing up Alastor again for Lucifer to knock his shit off.

Look at how hurt and closed off Charlie is in the last screenshot. I can't imagine that this is the first time Lucifer has acted towards her in this way. Do I think Lucifer meant to hurt Charlie?

No.

But did he?

Hell-to-the-fucking-YES!

Lucifer is an asshole. He acted like an asshole towards Alastor. He's acted like an asshole towards Charlie. And he kind of acted like an asshole towards the rest of the Hazbin crew considering he didn't exchange a single line of dialogue with them. They introduced themselves to him and that was it. Lucifer spent the rest of the time dissing on Alastor and talking exclusively to Charlie and Vaggie.

Lucifer suffers from depression, yes, but that doesn't take away that he is as much of an asshole as any other character in the show. And I hate that being stripped away and getting turned into this sad, babied little man who's awkward and shy and everyone else is just being mean to him. It's so dull and it's such a disservice to his character.

I don't want sweet, shy little UwU Lucifer that needs to be coddled.

I want mean, condescending, ass-hole Lucifer who reaps the consequences of his actions and grows from them.

[dumbbitchenergy17]

Awards Night

Plot: A very important night for yourself and your close friends on who will be taking home an Emmy and changes in your life.

Word Count: 9K

Pairing: Paul Mescal x Reader

Warnings: little makeout scene, sweet "father-daughter" moments, laughter giggles, just general fluff

------

Energy fills the Los Angeles air as you sit out on the balcony with a fresh cup of coffee letting the sound of traffic try and soothe your nerves, the sun has just started rising hits of orange peeking over the horizon of buildings and mountains. You hear the sliding door beside you open and can sense his presence next to you.

“You’re up early,” He comments while taking a sip of his cup of coffee and you only hum in response keeping your gaze focused on the cars below seeing there was already traffic this early. “Nervous?” He asks and you shrug.

“I guess so. My body realized what today was and didn’t want me potentially sleeping through my alarm.” You say glancing over at Paul who rests his arms on the balcony railing only dressed in a tank and sleep pants, his hands fiddling with the cup that hangs over the edge.

“It’ll be fine. Whatever happens tonight you’ll still be my favorite actress. Plus I’m sure Pedro is dying to see you since New Year's,” He says with a slight chuckle which you can’t help but join in, despite it only being a few weeks you were used to your dear co-star and father figure’s clinginess.

“Yeah I’m sure he was so sad to stay in gorgeous Malta while I had to go back to New York for rehearsals for SNL,” You roll your eyes bringing your gaze back to the LA skyline, “God this place is boring I’m so glad I stayed in New York and didn’t listen to my old manager.”

Paul lets out a snort of laughter, “You are a New York City girl it’s funny seeing you stand out back in London and West Cork.” He says while coming to sit on the floor, grabbing your free hand and pressing a kiss to each knuckle. You smile pushing his face away from you which only makes him chuckle grab your hand again and repeat the action. He stops looking up at you as you share a moment of silence before he reaches forward and smooths away the wrinkle from your furrowed brows.

“Tonight we’ll be fine and if anything we skip the after-party and just relax back here and watch movies.” He says his hand trailing from your brows to cup your cheek and you settle into it.

“Just so you can watch Thelma and Louise.” You raise your brow at him and he flushes with a caught expression.

“Hey, it’s a good film and you know it,” He defends himself before raising himself from his haunches to press a kiss to your lips which you melt into. Your free hand strokes his beard as you kiss. He pours all his love for you and what you need to soothe the pit of anxiety inside until you feel nothing but calm. Paul pulls away not before pressing one last kiss to your nose which you scrunch up.

“It’ll be fine.” His voice is soothing as you both enjoy each other’s presence before the very busy day you have ahead of you.

Frank Ocean drifts through a speaker as you sit in a makeup chair, leftovers of brunch still on the dining table in the hotel you shared with Paul and the rest of your team.  Paul in the bedroom with his team getting ready allowing you the large living room to get ready. Your amazing manager had brought you a collaboration with ELLE Magazine for a ‘Getting Ready with Me’ video, currently, the camera and sound team working fluidly alongside your hair and makeup team as you speak to the camera.

“I’ve been in this chair for about…three hours now?” You say as your hairstylist Elvira works her magic on your hair and René your talented makeup artist brings you to life with his skills. One of your hands is being painted in nudes and gold while your other hand is currently in a UV lamp being cured. “As you can see every part of my body is being handled so all I can do is just sit and listen to Frank Ocean play. I’m excited though surprised I’ve never been to the Emmys before so I do have a bit of nerves running through me.” You say shyly.

“You also have a nomination!” Paul’s voice comes from the other room making everyone in the room laugh and cheer at his comment as your face grows flush.

“Yeah…I do have one so it only heightens the nerves so I’m hoping I just get distracted during the whole time and have a drink or two as liquid courage.” You say as your hand in the UV lamp beeps ending its cycle and you use that chance to grab your smoothie to take a sip.

“Are you excited to see your friends and cast mates from previous work?” The interviewer asks and your eyes sparkle and you nod excitedly not before being scolded slightly by Elvira and René.

“Yes, most of these people I haven’t seen in months with work and life being so busy between all of us. I texted Bella this morning about how excited I was to see them since we last saw each other at the Met Gala we’ve Facetime and keep in touch but it’ll be good to see them in person.” You say as you switch hands to start curing the nail polish.

“Are you excited to see Pedro?” They ask cheekily and you smile widely.

“Oh god yes. Even though I saw him two weeks ago for New Year’s he has been nonstop texting about us seeing each other tonight. He fully freaked when he heard we had seats near each other,” You say, and almost on cue your phone gets a Facetime call the ringtone playing ‘Purple Rain’, “Speak of the devil.” You see the camera team swing around to get a view of your phone screen as you answer the call.

“Sup loser!” You greet the older man whose face is extremely close to the camera.

“Happy Emmys Day!” He shouts at the camera and you can’t help to giggle, “Happy Emmys Day to you too, getting ready I assume?” You ask as he pulls back the camera revealing Coco who is working on his hair. She sends a wave to the camera which you smile in return.

“Yep! Chilling getting all dolled up alongside Lux,” He says casually and you can easily spot the lie in his tone, and even Coco gives him a look.

“Pedro, you’re freaking out aren’t you?”

“Yes! What if I trip and fall and hurt my other shoulder then I get a double sling and look like an idiot? Or I say the wrong name on the card and it’s La la Land and Moonlight all over again.” He starts rambling getting himself all worked up and stressed.

“P you’ll be fine. You’re not gonna trip and look like an idiot or say the wrong name. I’m gonna be there, your sister, Bella, Paul, heck even fucking Kieran Culkin would probably run up there and catch you,” Your comment about his fellow nominee makes him laugh but does the job of getting his mind off it.

“Thanks, chiquita,” He says and it seems like he’s trying to spot anyone in the background of your Facetime call, “Yo where’s Ireland’s princess?” The sound of footsteps coming to the double doors separating the living room to the bedroom.

“I’m here Pedro!” His voice comes through the doorway and Pedro makes a weird face and you answer his silent question,

“We’re surprising each other with our looks tonight…well one of us is trying to.” You explain. Paul was getting antsy to see you and spend time with you. He had tried coming up with excuses to come out even getting to a point where he almost opened the door if you hadn’t thrown your slipper at the door and he closed it.

“You are so weird,” Pedro comments and you stick your tongue out at him, “Alright I shall leave you be and I look forward to seeing you tonight!”

“Bye P!”

“Bye Y/nnnnnn.” The call ends and you bring your attention back to the camera crew.

“You and Pedro have a very close relationship you practically act like your blood related.” The interviewer says

“Yeah, it’s crazy I've known him over five years and he’s practically my second father like I call him or my dad for the stupidest stuff if either doesn’t reply,” You say with a smile, “My dad finds it funny and comments how he’s glad someone is finally tagging in after the ‘retirement-inducing stress’ I put him through before I joined the Mandalorian.” The crew and your team chuckle at that story.

After getting your hair and makeup completed with your hair pinned up in a beautiful updo, your fabulous stylist Juliano had somehow struck gold with your outfit even working with Paul’s stylist to make sure the pair of you look stunning together.

“We were lucky enough from the archives to get this 1998 Spring Givenchy by Alexander McQueen,” Juliano explains as the camera shoots the gorgeous dress the shimmering silk on the top down to the skirt. The flower appliques on a sheer fabric to look like they were on your skin, “We decided to keep the makeup very similar to look natural with a shine and hints of color resembling the flower embellishments. To the accessories, we decided to keep Y/n’s hands minimal with just a pair of Bvlgari statement rings on her hands, and her earrings being from Bulgari Fiorever pieces keeping the floral delicate looking continue even down to the shoes with custom So-Kate Louboutin that matches the dress perfectly and brings the whole look together.”

The camera captures your excited expression as you are now fully dressed, clapping your hands together, “I’m literally in awe. I love Alexander McQueen’s fashion and I am honored to be wearing this gorgeous piece.” The sound of footsteps coming to the double doors again.

“Are you finally done?” Paul’s voice sounds like it’s practically pressed against the door and the crew laughs and you can’t help but roll your eyes.

“Yes I’m done but come out with your eyes closed. I want you to have the full experience,” You say quickly closing your eyes. You hear him groan before the sound of the door opens. You hear shuffling as someone guides him to the right position.

“Can I open?” He asks rocking on his heels.

“Wait I gotta get in position!” You say almost tripping as Elvira guides you to stand a bit in front of him so you both are the first things either of you see. The camera crew gets ready, one facing you while the other is facing Paul to get both of your reactions.

“Okay on three,” You say and start counting, “One…two…three!” You both open your eyes and the crew laughs at each of your reactions. You immediately squeal seeing his attire; his blazer is a crisp white that matches the color of your dress and is embroidered on the hem, lapels, and the cuffs of the coat is a recreation of the flower appliques on your dress, he has white button-down with a black bowtie and black wide slacks with black boots, Paul has that tiny gold hoop in his ear and he’s wearing the watch you got him for Christmas. Paul’s reaction is pure awe taking in how nicely the dress fits you almost as if Alexander McQueen made the dress for you, your hair perfectly framing your face with tiny strands hanging freely around your hair and the makeup making you look completely radiant.

“Ah! You look so good Paul,” You gush rushing up to him and looking over all the tiny little details what you don’t see but the cameras and the fans who will later eat this all up is the pure love and adoration in his eyes looking down at you fawning over him.

“You…are completely stunning,” He breathes and your face flushes at the genuine compliment as he takes your hands in his and fiddles with your rings a cheesy grin on his face. The team and crew ‘awe’ at the scene only makes you more flustered which makes Paul laugh wrapping his arms around you and pressing a kiss to your crown. An alarm goes off from both of your managers’ phones a cue that it is time to start prepping to leave soon.

Turning to face the camera you give it a wave, “Thank ELLE for coming and seeing us get ready for the Emmys let’s hope we take home an award,” You say crossing your fingers and making both teams cheer. Paul gives a wave and you blow a kiss before you turn facing each other and you pull a funny face and he bursts into laughter as the cameras stop rolling.

“Alright I think we got what we needed, so great meeting you guys, and best of luck tonight,” The interviewer says and you smile thanking them as they head out to pack up. Your manager comes up looking over her iPad that has the schedule.

“Alright we have a bit of time for photos and then the car will be pulling up to take us to the venue,” She says, and Paul helps guide you to the balcony as you grab the train of your dress. It’s fun and casual between yours and Paul’s team bouncing off each other. The first round of photos starts with you posing out on the balcony getting the professional photos done and throwing in a few funny poses when you see Paul whip out his film camera to take a few pictures. Then it switches to Paul who seamlessly starts posing and you take a few pictures on your phone before getting a decent one from his camera, he ends up breaking into waves of laughter as you keep hollering and sending him whistles as he poses. The pair of you do photos together some looking at the camera others looking at each other. Both your managers posting little teasers on each of your Instagram stories for the night ahead the photos already going viral.

From the hotel room to the car felt like a blur and you didn’t even realize you were pulling into the venue and entering the conga line of cars to the red carpet. Your leg shakes restlessly until Paul rests his hand on your knee making you look at him.

“Breathe,” He makes the gesture of letting out a big breath of air which you copy feeling your body stop vibrating with nerves, “It’ll be fine.”

You nod though the pit in your stomach still hasn't left now that you are so close, “I feel less nervous about the awards but this is our first time together like in spotlight public.” You take his hands playing with his fingers to help with your nerves, “Just nerves what they are gonna say is all.”

Paul nods understanding. It was a huge secret when you both first got together, not that you both were ashamed of each other but you both respected your privacy very much. Even when you were younger you were very cautious about what you put out on the internet perfectly curating posts and appearances so people didn’t have anything negative to say. It definitely freed up the older you got and the more secure you felt in your career but still, there were certain subjects you didn’t want the whole world to know. You prided yourself in keeping your relationships locked tight the only people aware of them being your family and close friends. It reached a point in some scenarios where the public and fans assumed the people you were with were just close friends given how that was the case most of the time. You were lucky for Paul to understand your hesitancy being so quiet about the two of you and it worked out in your favor. You were able to enjoy the starting of your relationship just the time together between the two of you and not the whole world focused on you all. Even telling Pedro was something you were worried about entering the relationship with Paul, he was his co-worker, some would call it a bit of an age difference with him being a few years older than you, you were still what people would consider their early 20s and him in his late 20s but neither of you noticed or cared for it. You remember it clear the day you told Pedro well more of him finding out.

It was during the time Gladiator 2 was on pause due to some production issues so Paul had decided to visit and spend the week with you in New York, this is about 3 months of you guys dating. For context you love Pedro and have such a close bond with each other that you have keys for each other and know everything about each other. What you didn’t think was him being back in New York as well and assuming he was on the West Coast or anywhere but New York. So you and Paul had just obviously given the time apart..had sex since being reunited and ordered pizza, after you showered and he was currently in the shower while you picked out a movie. The doorbell rang assuming it was the deliveryman going to answer shocked seeing Pedro there instead of holding the pizza and letting himself in.

“Luigi’s Pizza you know how to plan a dinner, I have so much to talk about Malta and Morrocco,” Pedro says and the immediate fear on your face and before you could stop the nuclear bomb that was about to go off as the familiar voice of the man you were with and an oddly familiar voice to Pedro comes from down the hall.

Paul comes around the wall with the confidence of a man who just got laid still wet from the shower only dressed in very loose sweats that hung sinfully low on his hips, “Baby did the food show u—” His words cut off as he see Pedro standing there with equally wide eyes as his gaze darts from both you and Paul the pieces quickly coming together.

Paul takes your hand placing a kiss on the back of it right as the car in front of you pulls up about to be next in line, “Ignore what they say. None of it matters, it’s just us and our friends celebrating an amazing night together.” You take in his words before nodding in agreement right as the car pulls up. Paul flashes you a smile before pressing a light kiss to not ruin your makeup.

“Ready?” He asks and you nod giving an assured smile and he returns with an even wider smile. A knock on the car before the door unlocks and the muffled sounds of the fan and the red carpet get louder. The door opens fully and Paul steps out and the crowd of fans screech he turns grabbing your hand as you scooch to the open door. Grabbing Paul’s hand you immediately see the uproar as you exit the car the scream of fans in their section. Waving at them together as your managers guide you towards the little waiting area before the red carpet. It wasn’t long until you were called next to walk the carpet.

“Ready?” You ask Paul and he smiles pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

“Let’s go.”

Shouts and flashes of both yours and Paul’s name as you posed for solo shots. Over the scream of photographers, your gaze always finds itself back to Paul who was looking over at you too.

“Paul! Y/n! Let’s get a photo together,” A photographer shouts and it’s instant the shouts for you two to pose together and questions thrown at the pair of you. It’s easy to find one another his hand keeping a reassuring contact on your waist as you smile at the cameras. Your managers have to practically drag you two off the carpet as the paparazzi keep yelling more comments and get final photos.

“A few interviews then we’ll get you guys inside for the ceremony,” Your manager says and you nod as both you and Paul are brought to different networks to conduct interviews.

“Y/n so nice to meet you,” The interviewer from E! News greets warmly, “You look stunning tonight!”

“So nice to me you and thank you so much!” You respond holding the microphone between your hands as you speak to her.

“It seems you have caught the attention of many people tonight for one of your first Emmy nominations, especially at your age! If you win tonight, you will have become the youngest winner in your category at twenty-three, just a year younger than past winner Zendaya, who also happens to be presenting tonight for that award,” she says, and you give a nervous smile.

“I am definitely nervous now that you mentioned it,” You cringe making the both of you laugh, “But I’m so honored to be nominated, there are so many talented actresses in this category that all deserve this award. I really couldn’t tell you who it’s going to.” You speak honestly.

“Well, we’re hoping for the best for everyone tonight and even if you aren’t taking home an award you aren’t leaving empty-handed. It seems you have graced all of us who have been dying to see you and your partner in public.” She says and you laugh, “Anything to say on that?”

“Well, Paul and I are very grateful for all the support our friends, family, and lovely fans have given us.” You say a small smile. You truly were grateful for all the support those close to you have given especially with how crazy the industry is and how on-air every moment of your life has been. “Paul has also just been an amazing support in my life I’m so blessed to have known him.” You keep your piece on Paul short and sweet knowing you would ramble off on how amazing he is as a person and actor, just going off on a complete tangent.

“That is so sweet, you two are amazing together I’m sure he’ll enjoy your praise,” The interviewer coos and you chuckle.

“He’ll probably try to one-up me in the compliments he’s too humble at accepting them and so will dish a plentiful of compliments,” You retort making the pair of you laugh.

“If I see him I’ll be sure to pass off your message,” She smiles, “Thank you so much, enjoy the rest of your night, and best of luck.” You thank her before your manager guides you off to do a couple more interviewers since you are nominated in a category. As your manager leads you to the next interview you spot a very familiar figure speaking to another person.

“Lux!” You call out and she turns spotting you amongst celebrities and managers as you make your way past people quickly accepting the embrace from her. “You look gorgeous tonight!” Your praise has her smiling and she rests her hands on your shoulders looking you over.

“Says you! You look stunning and where is the lucky man?” Lux asks looking over your shoulder expecting your partner somewhere near.

“I think still doing interviews, if we didn’t meet up during the interviews we both would just head inside,” You say looking around yourself but for a different person.

“If you’re looking for Pedro he’s over there with Vanity Fair,” She points a finger over and you spot the back of his curly head, “He’s be antsy looking for you and Bella tonight.” You smile thanking her with a quick hug and plan to meet inside before having your manager already used to your antics and guide you over to Pedro. Luckily he hadn’t noticed you and his manager spots you with a friendly smile seeing the mischievous look on your face also used to your antics from the Mandalorian.

“I’m excited for tonight not even for the nomination just to be able to see friends and coworkers of mine I haven’t seen since we wrapped films,” You hear Pedro say as you slowly walk into view of the camera and interviewer who spots you. You drop your mouth and point at Pedro who is in front of you.

“Oh my god is that Pedro?” Pretending to fangirl as you mouth with faux awe. The interviewer chuckles and you don’t see Pedro’s confused expression until he turns around and sees you there with a cheesy grin.

“Pedro I’m such a big fan you are literally so zaddy!” Your voice is all shaky fanning back fake tears and the belly laugh that comes from him as he pulls you into a hug with his free hand pressing a kiss to your crown.

“Ah, father and daughter reunited!” The interviewer says as Pedro pulls out of the hug a still shocked look on his face as he takes in your outfit. “Y/n pleasure to meet you!”

“You look so beautiful!” Pedro’s praise warms you up and you flush waving him off.

“You look great too! Giving very professor vibes with the sweater and glasses,” You point at the large frames covering his face. He snorts rolling his eyes.

“Like a professor that got his ass whooped.” He says shrugging his sling arm making you and the interviewer laugh. “Thought I was gonna miss you on the carpet until we got inside.”

“Ran into your sister and she pointed me in your direction,” You say and you see your manager pointing at her watch and you send a brief nod, “Well I better head before Paul sends a search party. Nice to meet you!” You say to the interviewer who repeats the sentiments. A quick hug from Pedro with a kiss on the cheek before waving them off.

“See you soon chiquita.”

“Bye P! I’ll see you inside!” You wave him off before you and your manager continue your trek once more inside.

“Alright you are all good on interviews and photos, I will see you after the show enjoy the night, and good luck!” Your manager says looking over her to-do list for tonight and you give a nervous smile, “You’ll be alright you win great, you don’t, no biggie you’re young and have plenty of opportunities,” She squeezes your hands. She looks a bit past you before she continues,

“I’m sure he’ll keep reminding you. You too have fun.” You feel an arm snake around your waist pulling you gently to lean against his chest, feeling your nerves slip away. Your manager waves before walking off joining Paul’s manager and you turn looking up at him already seeing the look on his face.

“I know…I know stop stressing and enjoy my night.” You roll your eyes and he hums satisfied with you already knowing what he is going to tell you.

“You love me.” He smirks taking your hand and guiding you to the line of celebrities waiting to be ushered to their seats. You scoff your words holding no weight.

“Ugh, you wish.”

It’s easy to find your seats finding yourself near actors and actresses you’ve heard of but glad to see you were put in seats near Pedro and Bella. Bella sat in the row in front of you and Paul with Pedro and Lux sitting behind you guys. The show went on accordingly with the categories going through cheering for the nominees and winners of each category. When the category for Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series Pedro had you and the audience in laughter.

“It’s my shoulder, not my arm and I’m here to set the record straight,” He says so plainly, “Kieran Culkin beat the shit out of me.” You almost choked on your spit at his comment your laughter only growing louder seeing Kieran’s reaction so serious before him and Pedro break with laughter as the award is presented. When the award for Best Actor in a Drama Series was announced you reached your hand back feeling Pedro’s hand grab you as each actor is called out. Cheering loudly when his name was announced with a quick snippet of his character in ‘The Last of Us’. While his name wasn’t called out you still smile squeezing his hand before clapping for Kieran Culkin who goes up to accept the award.

“Now presenting the award for Best Actress in a Drama Series, Zendaya and Jodie Foster!” The announcement comes through the speakers immediately filled with nerves feeling Paul’s hand resting on your thigh drawing circles and calming you slightly.

“And now for the nominees,” Zendaya says into the microphone and you clap as each actress is announced.

“Sarah Snook; Succession, Sharon Horgan; Bad Sisters, Melanie Lynskey; Yellowjackets, Elisabeth Moss; The Handmaid's Tale, Bella Ramsey; The Last of Us,” You clap a cheer extra loud for them and then continue calling out the nominees, “Keri Russell; The Diplomat, Y/n L/n; The Mandolrian” You hear the cheering around you as your name along with small clips of your character Tiya is shown on screen. In your peripheral, you can see the camera capture your reaction as Paul grabs your hand squeezing it. You don’t dare move your gaze from Jodie Foster and Zendaya as they speak.

“And the Emmy goes to,” You watch Jodie Foster open the card your hand probably cutting the circulation out of Paul’s hand. Zendaya smiles before she speaks.

“Y/n L/n, The Mandalorian.”

The roar of cheers from all around you as you sit there frozen for a second before it registers to you.

You won.

You stand up as the others do looking over at Paul who has the widest grin, “Holy fuck I won!” You say to him who nods enthusiastically and you can’t help but kiss him. It’s such a quick kiss but it means everything to the two of you as you pull away turn to Pedro who is cheering loudly and instantly pulling you into a hug pressing a kiss to your temple.

“I’m so proud of you!” He mumbles as you pull away Lux smiles widely at you as you quickly hug Bella who’s practically jumping with joy before finally walking down the aisle as your fellow actors applaud for you. It’s an almost out-of-body experience climbing up those steps and accepting the award from Jodie Foster and Zendaya who give you brief hugs before you stand before the microphone the heavy award in your hands.

“Hi..oh my god I didn’t plan at all what to say,” That makes the audience laugh your gaze sweeping through the crowd of people finding your group. “I want to thank my amazing team who got me this job, my friends and family back at home I love you so much, to the Mandalorian Team, Jon Favreau and Dave Filoni thank you for giving me this opportunity to bring Tiya to life, there are so many people I want to thank uh Pedro,” You gaze locks with him. You already see him getting teary-eyed making your words shaky.

“I’ve worked and grown with you over five years, you’re my second dad I love you so much. I also want to thank my partner, Paul,” Your gaze moves to Paul who has the proudest look on his face and you can feel tears burning at the back of your eyes, “I love you so much, you are my rock, my best friend, I’m so grateful you are in my life I could keep rambling on until they drag me off.” That makes Paul and the crowd laugh. “Alright, I’m gonna go before I start crying.” Your voice is already shaky enough as the audience cheers hearing loud whistles from Pedro as Jodie and Zendaya guide you off. Once you disappear backstage seeing allowed paparazzi taking photos of the three of you. Your manager already backstage pulls you into a hug and you let out a shaky exhale.

“No tears or René will have my head for letting an Emmy winner ruin her makeup,” Her words make you laugh leaning your head back and blinking back tears, “Alright we’ll get some quick photos and interviews before you’ll be set to head back for the ceremony.”

It’s a blur of heading to where the other winners are to get their photos taken. You probably have the widest grin as you hold your Emmy up. The flash of cameras as they shout congratulations and where to look at. Then it was the interviews with various media outlets each hungry for the latest news of your career this Emmy win special now being the youngest female Emmy winner in your category. During a commercial break, you were ushered back to your seats a cheesy grin across your face when your friends spot your return. You’re shuffling as face as you can in your dress and heels immediately welcomed with hugs and kisses of second congratulation.

“I completely blacked out up there did I make a fool of myself?” You ask seriously making Lux and Bella laugh as you all sit down.

“Not at all. You had Pedro crying like a baby with you up there,” Bella states and you laugh leaning against Paul.

“I was not!” Pedro still red with tears defends himself and Lux shakes her head.

“It was pretty bad,” Paul says and Lux gives him a look.

“Don’t act all innocent I saw a few tears from you too mister,” She pokes his shoulder and Paul flushed with embarrassment, “I got the whole video of both of their reactions with Pedro crying and your boyfriend all teary-eyed.”

“Awww you two getting all sappy,” You tease poking your partner and making him roll his eyes, “You do love me.”

“Of course I do,” Paul scoffs looks at you and your teasing smile softens seeing the pure adoration and love in his eyes.

Bella makes a disgusted sound, “You too are so cheesy it makes me sick,” That makes you all laugh and over the speakers, it’s announced the commercial break would be ending now. As the ceremony returns with the audience applauding your hand grabs Paul giving it a squeeze that he returns.

With the awards over it was such a whirlwind of afterparties and receptions, Pedro, Lux, and Bella were going to the HBO Reception Party while you and Paul were headed to the Disney Reception Party. It was so exciting taking group photos with all the winners at the Emmys Ceremony before you all left living on that high of winning. Your thumb traces the engraving of your name on the plaque still in awe as you and Paul ride back to the hotel room.

“Congratulations!” Your teams cheer confetti bursts from party poppers as your team hollers and cheers as you and Paul enter. You smile brightly seeing some recording as you hold up your Emmy bouncing with excitement.

“I won a fucking Emmy!” You shout and your teams cheer and laugh at your very animated reaction.

“Alright!” Your manager calls out drawing all of your attention, “We got two afterparties to attend now let’s get you both all set up so you can fully enjoy your win tonight.” Both your teams quickly get to work Paul is taken to change into his after-party attire and you to change into another Alexander McQueen archival piece from the same collection. This a much shorter beautiful baby blue draped dress you wear over an ivory satin button-up jacket with a shawl collar that feels cool on your skin, paired with Givenchy ivory kitten heels. Both Elvira and René work efficiently revamping your hair and makeup when Paul comes out in his afterparty attire. It was the same outfit beside his button-down and tie replaced with a loose white scoop neckline tank showing off his collarbones. He smirks seeing you drink in his appearance from your chair as René reapplies your lipstick and he throws you a wink making you flush looking forward.

“All pretty and ready,” René puts down the setting spray looking you over with a smile.

“Thank you Elviraaaa. Thank you Renééééé.” You cheese as you stand and reapply your favorite perfume on your wrists and neck.

“We’re ready when you are, Emmy winner.” Your manager says and you check your appearance one last time in the mirror before grabbing your clutch and award.

“Ready!”

The Walt Disney Awards Party was a fun time being united with other Star Wars costars and seeing some of the other winners in other categories. Attending felt more obligational given it was the company your show was a part of it was mainly small talk and photos taken with the other winners from your network. After some time a perfectly timed call from Pedro who was heading over to the Netflix Afterparty with the others asking when Paul and you were heading over.

The van hits a pothole but that doesn’t distract the two of you preoccupied in the backseat. Thank god for the privacy divider. Paul practically devours you with his lips barely able to get a breath in. One hand is deep in the nape of his neck pulling him closer the other clutching to his bicep that is wrapped around your waist keeping you flush against him.

“You have…no idea how beautiful…you looked tonight,” Paul mutters between kisses, your award digging into your waist but you pay no mind. His other hand cups your face to pull away to catch your breath before pulling your right back in.

“Paul we’re almost there,” You try to say as he keeps kissing you only one thought on his mind.

His lips are soft and warm but fierce as he bites your lip drawing a sharp gasp and allowing him to slip his tongue inside. Your body is searing, your heartbeat in your ears letting him complete control gripping his coat tighter.

“If we didn’t have to go there are so many things I want to do to you,” His words light your body on fire a light whimper comes from the back of your throat as he pulls back letting you catch your breath. “But,” He starts pressing another kiss to your lips.

“I want you to enjoy tonight you deserve.” He pulls back looking down at your flustered appearance chuckling slightly fixing your hair slightly, “I think I took it a bit too far…” He gives a sheepish look and your jaw drops seeing the stain of your lipstick on his lips quickly whipping out your phone and seeing your smudged lips.

“Paul Colm Mic-” You start but he quickly kisses you mumbling ‘I’m sorry baby,’ and you quickly pull away opening up your clutch and pulling out travel makeup wipes and the lipstick shade, “You are so lucky you’re hot Paul,” You say using a wipe to clean his face before he takes it himself to allow you to fix your lips. He chuckles slightly at the pout as you clean yourself up and reapply your lipstick. Thank god René gave you an extra lipstick. He had to have known you’d do something stupid like makeout with your ridiculous attractive boyfriend before going to a party.

“I love you Y/n.” He says pressing a kiss with his clean lips against your temple as you give a final swipe of color to your lips. He moves to press another kiss to your lips but you swerve pressing a finger to his lips.

“Yeah no…you are like banned the entire night from kissing me and messing up my makeup more.” You see him pout and at that moment the car stops having arrived at the party.

“Seriously?” He asks and you give him a look saying ‘I’m so serious,’. He groans letting his head fall back on the headrest but quickly fixes himself as the door opens and he’s quick to plaster a forced smile as you both exit the car.

This afterparty was a lot more freeing allowing yourself to let loose, one hand was your award the other a drink as you stood beside Lux who had her drink of choice watching Paul dance with Bella twirling them around, Pedro off somewhere to mingle or getting himself into trouble. Paul catches your gaze his face reading to spare him but you only raise your glass as a toast making him throw his head back with a sigh before returning his focus to Bella.

“What’s got him looking like a dog in the doghouse,” Lux asks as you both take sips of your drinks.

“He fucking ruined my lipstick on the car ride over so he’s now banned for the rest of the night.” You explain and Lux bursts into laughter at the confession.

“The car ride over you naughty girl,” She slaps your shoulder and you flush gulping your drink and feeling the alcohol settle in your stomach.

“Chiquita!” You hear Pedro's voice call out easily spotting him as he heads over, “Look who I found!” You smile widely seeing Giancarlo Esposito following behind Pedro.

“There’s the winning lady!” Giancarlo says as he hugs you, pressing a kiss against your cheek, and you return one. “Alright, let's see it.” You smile before showing off the award, and he lets out a whistle, and Pedro gives a small whoop.

“Congratulations you deserve this with all your hard work.” He praises and you return a sincere smile from his compliment not just from a coworker but a well-esteemed actor.

“It looks like a party,” Bella says, bounding over and grabbing her drink from the hightop you all stood around. Following behind is Paul, who smiles and slides to be at your side.

“Ah, the infamous boyfriend. You know I’m basically her uncle,” Giancarlo says, shaking Paul’s hand, which makes you snort and roll your eyes.

“Real funny guys,” You say making them all laugh as Giancarlo bids goodbyes to you all. Paul’s arm is over your shoulder drawing circles into your arm while taking a sip from his drink.

With a sigh, you rest your award on the table, “God this thing is heavy as fuck. I’m supposed to carry it around all night,” You groan.

“If you’re giving it away I’ll gladly take it,” Pedro creeps towards it and you bat his hand away.

“Klepto! I don’t need you stealing more of my shit,” You point at him and he holds his uninjured hand in the air in defense.

“It was one time!” He retorts not wanting to go down this rabbit hole of a conversation again. A new song comes over the speakers making Bella perk up recognizing it.

“I love this song, who’s joining?” Bella the youngest of the group holds their hand out looking at each of you expectedly. Pedro groans grabbing his shoulder in fake pain.

“Ah my old bones can’t take a dance,” Bella rolls their eyes moving to the next person there Paul holding his hands up having already been subjected to dancing. Lux rolls her eyes finishing her drink and taking Bella’s hand who smiles widely.

“Come on leave the old men to their groveling,” She holds her hand now out to you expectedly and you chug your drink needing the liquid courage to dance will many people potentially watching you.

“You old men have fun,” The sudden rush of alcohol makes you giggle as you lean up quickly pressing a kiss to Paul. You slip away before he can deepen the kiss he’s been craving laughing as you join Bella and Lux on the dance floor. You let the young actor twirl you around having to bend slightly to turn under Bella’s arms Lux laughing recording the pair of you on her phone. The two men watch at the table where the drinks and your award are seeing the enjoyment from all of you.

“You’re good for her you know,” Pedro says suddenly making Paul look away from you dancing under the colored lights to look at the older man.

Paul shrugs at the compliment swirling his drink with a self-deprecating tone, “I try not to mess things up.”

“Mess things up? You’re perfect for her, Paul. I’ve seen her in relationships where she wasn’t happy and this is far from that. You too are honestly nauseating with how into each other you are,” Pedro groans making Paul laugh slightly both their gazes focused on the dance floor where you are. The pair cringe at your very bad dance moves but you don’t seem to care, completely focused on the music and being with Bella and Lux.

“I appreciate that Pedro,” Paul says genuinely, “She looks up to you a lot, and always finds a way to mention you somehow.” That makes Pedro chuckle slightly but feel all warm inside at the information.

“Seems like she has a habit of always talking about the men she cares for in her life,” Pedro responds, “She’s always gushing over you like some lovesick teen.”

Paul flushes at that taking a sip of his drink to quell his nerves. “I only hope I can keep making her as happy as she makes me.” There was so much he wanted to do with you in his life. Maybe a few things that still needed time but had he already pictured them yes now just waiting for the right moment. Pedro rests his hand on his shoulder giving it a comforting squeeze.

“You are,” He says before raising his drink in a toast, “To you guys and your futures together.” Paul smiles clinking his glass against Pedro’s both looking back at you cheering on Bella as they dance your gaze darts to Paul a smile naturally crawls up your face as you mouth to him, ‘I love you,’ which he responds in turn with his own.

‘I love you more,’

The night quickly wanes to a close as you bid goodbye to your friends barely stifling back a yawn the liquor tiring you out. You give Bella a big hug that they return with equal amounts.

“When you are back in New York we’ll try to meet up,” You say and they nod excitedly but still a bit tired. You then move onto Lux who hugs you pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“Bye, pretty lady.” You smile at Lux’s comment before moving over to Pedro as he easily scoops you in his free arm his warmth making your eyes droop.

“Night P, I’ll you in a few days.” You say and you hear him hum pressing a kiss to your head.

“Looking forward to whatever you have planned for SNL chiquita,” He pulls back chuckling as you blink slowly grinning.

“It’s gonna be sooooo good,” You slip into the valley girl's vocal fry making him belly laugh giving you a final hug and sending a look over at Paul who holds your award in one hand. He comes over coaxing you off Pedro as you rest against his side stifling a yawn.

“Bye, guys love you!” You give your last bits of energy as they wave you and Paul off as you head to your ride to the hotel. Your head rests in the crook of Paul’s neck during the car ride home his hand tracing circles into your scalp only making you doze off even more. Paul has to guide you through the hotel as you try waking up enough to get to your hotel room.

Once back in your room the energy from the whole day completely wipes you, standing in the middle of the room with your eyes closed. Paul laughs seeing you sleeping while standing up.

“Come on let’s get you ready for bed,” He says guiding you to the bedroom and helping you with your nighttime routine. You give him a sleepy smile as he helps from taking off your shoes to removing the pins in your hair and groaning as he massages your scalp with your hair now free from the updo. You’d fix yourself completely tomorrow with a shower letting your hair be a mess. Sitting on the bathroom counter you lean into his touch he uses a cloth with makeup remover to take off your makeup.

“You’re amazing you know that,” You mumble as he gently wipes your eyeshadow off your face his other hand holding your chin to keep you steady. He hums as he removes the last of it pressing a kiss to your tired lips.

“You can say that more often,” He smirks even in your tired state you still roll your eyes at his comment. He’s a godsent going through your nighttime skincare his hands soothing and delicate as he goes through each of your steps. Guided out of the bathroom he helps you out of your clothing with soft hands and kisses along your shoulders as he dresses you in one of his shirts and a pair of your shorts before settling you into bed. It’s almost instant as you knock out the events of the day draining and the bed quickly drawing you to sleep.

You blink open still seeing it dark from the digital clock on the nightstand reading almost four am. Rolling over to cuddle with Paul you find his side empty and cold. Sitting up vision is still blurry trying to wake up fully to find your boyfriend when you spot the curtain covering the balcony door moving slightly in the breeze.

Paul leans against the balcony railing letting the smoke rest in his lungs before slowly breathing it out, tapping away the ash from the cigarette. Despite the time the streets still seem busy the roads filled with lights of car traffic.

“You’re up late,” Your voice drifts through the night as he glances behind him seeing you stand there rubbing your bare arms from the slight chill in the air. He holds his arm out and you come over instantly feeling the warmth from him as he holds you close. It’s quiet between you two as he continues to smoke with you in his arms.

“Are you alright?” You ask looking up at him a bit of concern in your eyes that he finds comforting.

“I’m good just a few things on my mind,” He says before taking another hit letting his hand with the cig rest against the railing. He doesn’t fight you as you take it from him taking your hit and letting it rest in your lungs before blowing it out into the Los Angeles night.

“Anything I can help with,” You ask looking up at him. He can’t help the slightly anxious look to cross his features that have you perking up in concern turning to fully face him your hand holding his face, “What’s up?”

Paul lets out a shaky breath, taking the cig and getting a much-needed hit before speaking, “I’m so proud of you and I’m still so grateful to call you mine.” You smile softly at his words letting him take his time to process each thing he was to say.

“Just seeing you up there I didn’t want that high for you to ever end. I want to be there for every win, every award show, every moment,” He grabs your hand rubbing circles with his thumb a habit he’s done often.

“I want to be there for you too,” You respond honestly and he smiles at that.

“I love you,” He blurts the phrase familiar but with such a heavy meaning, “So much, probably more than I should or more than you do.” You give him a look at his words.

“Anyways I know we haven’t been together long and I was gonna ask when we were,” His words start making you anxious about what he’s trying to say.

“I was wondering well wanting..” He stumbles over his words cursing his inability to just speak.

“You’re making me nervous Paul,” You can’t help but laugh nervously, “Just tell me.”

“Will you move in with me?” He catches you off guard as you both stand in silence taking in his words.

“Move in with you…” Paul can’t help but anxiously nod but you have a small smile growing on your face.

His cheeks flushed. “Yeah. I know it’s… a lot. But I love being with you, Y/n. Every minute. And I can’t imagine not waking up next to you every morning.”

You kiss him and he eagerly accepts feeling his nerves slip away his hand cupping your face as you pour your love and all your feelings into it. You pull back still close the smoky taste and lingering alcohol on the both of you.

“I’d love to move in with you.” You smile widely and he can’t help but kiss you again with a promise of forever between you too, “Where’d we live?” You’re mind already running off what’d you both do, how’d you live together, what it would look like?

“We’ll figure that all out as long as I’m with you.” He says and your heart bursts with joy wrapping your arms tightly around his shoulder the cigarette long forgotten and burnt out. The only focus was on each other and your plans for the future together.

[iandoubt]

scott smajor with number 7 for your spotify asks?

omg anon sorry it took me so long to get to this, but here: Scott smajor with number 7, Ghost of You by My Chemical Romance!

textless and bgless under cut, as well as really long ramble caption vvvvvvv

I hope this is alright! If nothing else, I’m so so proud of drawing hair braiding, that took. So. Long. lol, anyway yeah I also really like how Scott’s hair came out, and I’ve never made a third life Jimmy design before so I came up with this on the fly and I really like how it looks. But yeah, I saw which song it was and thought of them immediately, Scott was so distraught at Jimmy’s death in third life, (prepare for ramble that is mildly unintelligible if you are not really geeky about MCR lore lol. The main stuff you need to understand is that mcr has four albums, I Brought You My Bullets You Brought Me Your Love, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, The Black Parade, and Danger Days: The True Lives of The Fabulous Killjoys, and all of them have a lot of lore) like they are so demolition lovers coded, especially because of the whole back from the dead thing where Jimmy is alive and well in later seasons but Scott is still grieving him and the memory thing with winners remembering which means Scott remembers third life and Jimmy doesn’t, reminds me of like (from my understanding of the story, which is different from other peoples because MCR lore is very vague) the inner turmoil of the lover from the three cheers lore who went to hell, and his lover is in heaven and on one hand he wants to reunite but on the other he knows his lover doesn’t even know he’s alive (-ish. Not sure how much his situation qualifies as “living”) and feels guilty, thinking that she probably won’t even want to see him again, because he’s killed so many people and he doesn’t want to ruin her paradise (I mean she misses him too and wants to see him again but he doesn’t know that, and also he rightly recognizes that he is an actual sociopath. I’m not saying c!Scott is crazy (well, as not-crazy as you can be in life series death games. Everyone is at least a little bit off their rocker. Woah, parentheses within parentheses, what is this!?), but I am saying the guy demolition lover absolutely is. I am also saying that c!Scott has self worth issues. At least in my headcannons. I also have a similar headcannon for Joel. Maybe that’s why they hate each other, their mad that they can’t sacrifice themselves for each other and then decided a murderous rivalry was the only option/j ) but yeah so the torturing themselves over a lover who is both dead for them and also at the same time alive and well but unreachable and in a better place than them and wanting to be with them but holding back for fear of hurting them which ends up hurting them anyway (which is also a theme in the black parade, so ig you could also kinda compare Scott to The Patient, but patient always felt more Joel or Pearl coded to me. Also yes I know I already made a post about smalletho demo lovers au, but idk I can have both smalletho and flower husbands demo lovers I just like projecting my interests onto,,,,also my interests ig lol) is something Scott and the sinner demolition lover have in common. Also this song makes me cry. So much. Could barely even draw this through the tears lol/silly, and I’m exaggerating but less than you’d think. Unfortunately I am a crier. I also cry at Summertime from danger days, pretty much all of three cheers but especially I never told you what I do for a living, demolition lovers from bullets (btw for non MCR fans these are album and song names. Also the demo lover’s story starts in bullets with the song titled for them, and then is continued in three cheers for sweet revenge) as well as I don’t love you, wttbp, the end, mama, and famous last words from black parade. And those are just the MCR songs, not counting all the other sad songs from other bands. I am a CRIER lol. But yeah, thank you sm for the ask anon I really enjoyed drawing this!

[saioratral]

PARING: yuuta okkotsu x f!reader

PROMPT: my pretty girl SYNOPSIS: insecure? that word doesn't exist when yuuta's around

WARNING: lightly talks about insecurities (love yourself and cherish yourself :D) NOTE: i wrote this during my cringe dump moments. it was actually a cringe- VERY CRINGE smut but i couldn't get myself to post that version💔 so i edited it again. i'm a bit embarrased cause now it's from my uh 'drafts' (only one person knows what i'm talking about)

shirts, dresses, turtlenecks, sweaters- nothing ever looked good on you. not today, not ever. no matter how many times you tried on different outfits, none seemed to fit quite right, or flatter the way you'd hoped. you stood in front of the mirror, gazing at the reflection staring back at you. it felt harsh, like every angle displayed your flaws. you feel frustrated, taking off the piece and letting it fall on the ground. the calvin klein logo now visible when you toss your shirt off from anger- even that was pissing you off  

“ready to go babe?”, yuuta pops his head out of the bathroom after pushing his hair in his usual style 

you turned towards him, feeling suddenly self-conscious from the lack of clothing, fingers nervously tugging at the hem of your skirt. “i don’t know what to wear”

yuuta looked confused for a moment, glancing from you to the mess of clothes around the room. he flipped the bathroom light off before walking toward you, crouching down to pick up a few of the ‘rejected’ choices

“oh, isn’t this your favorite sweater? the pink one from our shopping trip?” he asked, holding up the sweater 

you took a slow breath, your gaze on the ribbon design sweater in his hand. “it is,” you said, but the words felt unconvincing. “i feel ugly in it”

“ugly?” yuuta repeated

his face softened as he stared at you, clearly unsure of how to reply. how could you say those words about yourself? 

before you could say anything else, yuuta moved closer, his hand reaching out to rest on your waist. his touch was gentle, as if he was seeking permission. you didn’t pull away, offering him a sad smile

“angels can’t be ugly,” yuuta whispered as he guided you toward the mirror for you to see yourself. “angels are pretty. so... pretty”

“well not this one”, you muttered under your breath, rolling your eyes

yuuta wasn’t about to give up so easily. he released your waist, only to gently tug at your left hand, guiding you toward the bed. without warning, he nudged you, and you found yourself gently falling back onto the soft, warm sheets that enveloping your tired body, letting your mind drift off somewhere 

but he doesn’t let you drift, yuuta was here to remind you how pretty you are. the restaurant reservation can wait, but this? this can't

“don’t say that, pretty”, he called as he hovered above you. his arms were braced beside you, locking his gaze with yours before resting his forehead on yours

the only sound was the soft rhythm of your breathing and the faint scent of his cologne, wrapping around you like a comforting hug. in that moment, you were in his world- his universe. it was a place where you felt safe. a place where you didn’t have to hide or feel unworthy

“you’re so pretty”, yuuta whispered. then, as if a reminder, he gently booped your nose with a playful grin 

“let’s find you a nice top?”, yuuta asks but doesn’t move to his words 

you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. “i think we can skip the reservation today” 

you lift your head up to kiss him and yuuta deepens it, guiding you gently down onto the sheets. his hands roam, tracing the curves of your body as though memorizing every inch he had seen over and over. his hands rest on your waist, he pulls you closer before breaking the kiss to catch his breath. gently, he shifts you without letting you do anything, settling you to rest on the pillows instead

"we can", yuuta murmurs, his voice low as his lips trace the curve of your neck. his hands move to your back, fingers quickly working to undo the strap of your calvin's

"i want to spend the night with my pretty girl"

© saioratral 2024-25 -- do not repost, translate, alter, etc on any platform without permission. Any characters used in my work do not belong to me, they are created by their original creator. all images used are from pinterest