#some days im okay
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#evidence of life#:3<3#໒꒰ྀི⸝⸝/ \⸝꒱ྀིა …nun era over………….hi guys i fell in love yes me i know right yes this oleta : )#probably will [ACTUALLY] be active yk i had to secure the bag and try to make sure the family will love me despite : D#anyways have a good summer yall !#wowwwwwwwww people who have been here since day one know how touch repulsed i was and how i took years to even be okay with kissing irl lol#deadass thought i’d just be kissing girls this summer but right now i’m in bed with a man and our biological son 🐈⬛ <3#life comes at you fast#100#btw this is my edit like the original didn’t look like this this is the doomer gf version#1k#edit: omggg if you don’t know me the ‘just kissing girls’ might read wrong im just primarily attracted to women and i assumed my big step#into intimacy would be kissing [girls] aka not literally falling in love with some guy who is currently wrapped around me and snoring <33
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reality
#blinks so cutely at u. im baaaack#i only have it in me to do one piece for 7.7 i think. i just dont think the rest grabs my brain id rather draw other stuff :D#ive started a new job (NOT animation) by now so im re-adjusting to job hours vs fun hours but the job is easy breezy so im happy!!!#i work in an office i answer the phone like twice a day and i file some paperwork and i eat candy at my desk. its the best#AND im lined up to take over as supervisor in a few months. smiles lovingly at the camera. the dream <3#speaking of dreams haha idia my guy umm so how u doing buddy. u doin okay? will u recover from this buddy pal chum guy? :D#he'll be fine im proud of him#twst#twisted wonderland#idia shroud#book 7 spoilers#ch 7 spoilers#suntails
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it is insane how normal i am medicated like. you mean this was an option the whole time. what
#theresbeen some hiccups like the first month i started to realize my work drive was 90% fear based#so ivehad to develop like actual work schedule and discipline thats not just 'everyone will hate me if i dont'#but its been working! now getting stuff done actually... feels.... good?#instead of like throwing water over one fire only to run to the next one#like before nothing was ever satisfying. i was always just running around panicked#now im like. okay this is what i have to get done today. yay! i finished it! now i go to bed. okay now its the next day#the only other thing ive noticed is ive become seemingly like. more. autistic acting.#like i get More fixated on my special interests now. i can think about something for hours straight instead of getting guilty and thinking#'oh im being greedy im being lazy with my time i should be doing something productive'
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SPOILERS FOR DAY 4 OF 14DWY!!
i was actually losing my mind when i played day 4 lmao, so.... redraw time!!
i hope i drew it well enough haha
#num draws#ren posting#14dwy#14dwy ren#14 days with you#yandere vn#yandere#14dwy fanart#digital art#fanart#i adored day 4 so much UGH#im honestly really worried about how the cg redraw looks#i am not confident in it </3#but i hope it looks good enough!!#i spent a really long time on it haha#also for some reason i kept fucking up their hair and it was setting me OFF#its okay i think i got it in the end...#anyway... enjoy (??)
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I just want to fall in love with someone who makes me feel safe like even when we’re angry or sad or upset i just want to know that both of us are still going to be okay
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#today was….not good#and at one point i had a moment#where i was just unbearably SAD and LONELY because i didn’t have anyone to call or talk to about it#but im still really hopeful it will happen some day#because all i want in this world is to feel secure#and for others to feel secure around me#and for everyone to feel secure around people they love#because it’s so painful and scary when you don’t#but one day im going to be warm and happy in someone’s arms and will barely remember this at all#im manifesting it#im completely okay btw things just got a little rough#and in the incredibly stressful and dramatic times i was experiencing my brain STILL had to be gay#im gay and i like sleeping#also yeah i said i wouldnt post after midnight again like two days ago but whatever#im sad and want to yearn on the internet we can make an exception tonight
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the mighty nein - critical role
this is a place where i don't feel alone. this is a place where i feel at home.
#also with softer vibes. i offer They#every silly little brainheart found family deserves a to build a home edit#the mighty nein maybe most of all. thats my family#also the lyrics deliciously well suited to m9.#when jester pulls that. stupid tarot card for fjord. home or traveler. and there's a carnival wagon. and veth says Thats Us! . them#i just think about . the tower is their home the xhorhouse is their home the lavish chateau is their home the balleater. the mistake.#the nein heroez. veth and yezas apartment. the dome. fjord and jesters living room floor.#a bar with a silly name on rumblecusp#also like. the song has stone and dust imagery. gardens and trees.#the inherent temporality of life and love and how that holds no bearing on how greatly people can love. im losin it okay.#ive been making this edit for days straight with my computer screaming at me for trying to shove 143 episodes of cr into a 2min20sec video.#crying becuase. theyre a family do you get it. they were nine lonely people and most of them had given up on seeing their own lives#as something that might be good. something that might make the world a better place. and in the end they're heroes.#and it doesn't matter if no one else knows because They know they're heroes. and they wouldn't've believed that was true when they met.#rattling the bars of my enclosure. to be loved is to be changed#posted on twitter and want to get in the habit of posting here too bc.#general reasons but also bc . i have noticed some of the ppl liking/sharing it are also ppl who shit on my ops by vaguing about my posts#which is in general whatever but does leave a funny taste in my mouth.#critical role#the mighty nein#cr2#caleb widogast#caduceus clay#jester lavorre#fjord#veth brenatto#yasha nydoorin#beauregard lionett#mollymauk tealeaf#my posts
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more kitties that live in my sketchbook
#mine#i just took a huge amount of psychic damage from going thro my facebook page#my GOD. the things i had on there#anyway. i hope u hve had a good week...my week has been mixed but okay! im super tired ugjug#my period was like 11 days late bc since stopping hormones it like has no idea whats going on n my period app was havin a coronary#i got a notifcation that was like ur ABNORMAL!!!!!!!!!! okay and#hmm what am i going 2 do now.....probably som colouring and then some reading#i stopped reading the fantasy book i was reading it was eating my brain slowly . in a bad way#i tried using my lightbox 2day instead of drawing over my sketch n it worked well!! ive bough different paper n it worked way better#am happy !! :))
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OCposting..... This is Coven :3 she's a witch who specializes in luck magic! I need to post her so I can yap about her more, she's rotating in my brain at top speed
(Also her bf belongs to @oodliedoodlies hiiii hiiiiiiii hi hi hi)
#rainyart#trolls#trolls oc#trolls band together#original character#character design#DreamWorks trolls#coven#not enough hours in the DAY to draw her bro#i also think shed be fun to write.... maybe ill write her backstory or some shenanigans she gets up to.... she has a lot of potions mishaps#body swap potion..... personality swap potion... love potion..... evil potion seems fun in theory but#idk how that would resolve and would probably lead to angst and drama in an UNfun way yknow#like how much damage she might cause.... and then shed probably be like im never touching magic again#not fun#idk! i need to ponder some more#coven save me. save me coven.#very few things getting me through the slog of classwork but shes def one of them okay#queueing this and running away back to my thesis work
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can you draw engie and pyro? :3
at da beach hangging out :3 scout tagged along
Some extras yayyy (Pyromancy my beloved)
Hey, if you’ve got the cash, donate to Ahmed Saad’s kofi. Go-fund-me froze all the donations he previously received and him and his family are stuck in Gaza.
#tf2#tf2 fanart#tf2 engineer#tf2 pyro#tf2 scout#miss pauling#heavymedic#tf2 heavy#tf2 medic#merasmus#pyromancy#my poor baby girl she doesn’t like roller coasters :(((((#pyro x merasmus my otp#cat girl miss p fuck it up !!!#She’s so pretty (ignore the faggots)#I think about that meme twice a day at least#whenever I’m around my cute and beautiful girl (im the faggot)#okay don’t freak out miss pauling there’s some freaky bitches behind you#ruths doodles
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i drew ll!scar for a bday banner collab on twitter ! GO LOOK
#goodtimeswithscar#gtws#last life#last life smp#mcyt#favourarts#eeehhhh too lazy to think of more tags lol#im gonna be so real i spedrun him in like 2 days#n u know im glad i did bc now im considering to change some stuff up in my art progress to make it easier for me jdfksdfs#i keep fighting for my life just to finish a piece but now i wanna finish stuff more ...#so i m happy that i drew this ! i rlly needed it after not sitting down n drawing anything properly for like 3 months GUH#okay life update in the tags OVER see u guys in my next piece o7
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i'm so used to there just being random unidentified bones laying around everywhere in these damn books that it finally occurred to me, just now, to wonder where the bones on new rho came from. y'know, the bones palamedes always tried to teach nona necromancy on.
they're his.
palamedes, who always loved teaching, living on borrowed time in a body that's not his own. palamedes, mentoring, teaching- parenting, by sixth standards, mind you. and that boy is sixth, through and through.
and the entire point of teaching nona necromancy in the first place was to try and determine if nona is, well, nonagesimus, right? so it has to be bones, it can't not be bones. bones are, like, her whole thing.
but they're not in the nine houses, anymore. things are different, on new rho.
they burn bones here. dig up the cemeteries. a society terrified of zombies will evolve to dispose of its dead differently.
the only bones he has access to now are his own. (camilla wouldn't let anyone take them- skull or hand, doesn't matter. they're still him, and she doesn't let go, remember? it's her one thing.)
palamedes woke up every morning wearing someone else's body to then gently place the shrapnel of his own in the cupped palms of a girl who's the closest thing he'll ever have to a daughter and try to teach her- how did the angel put it, again? normal school, as much as possible, for as long as possible.
(but hey, in a roundabout way, at least it's a chance for him to touch camilla again, right? nevermind that she's not there to feel any of it because he's in the driver's seat, that he can only stay for fifteen minutes at a time. it's atoms that belong to camilla touching atoms that used to belong to him, and that's close enough. he'll take what he can get, these days- if she can be their flesh, he can be the end. so what if holding his own bones is a mindfuck? so what if looking at them makes him nauseous? surely he can suck it up and deal with it for fifteen minutes. it's the least he can do— his poor camilla was the one who had to scrape the bloody pulp of them off the floors of canaan house.)
(speaking of, here's a fun fact: we actually only see nona practicing with the bones one time, on-page. camilla's final line in that scene, before palamedes takes over, is none other than: 'keep going. there are some bones left.' ow!)
remember, too, that the only part of dulcinea, the real dulcinea, that palamedes ever physically touched, was her tooth- the one that ianthe gave him, pulled from the ashes cytherea burnt her down to. he only ever touched dulcie once, and it wasn't until after she was already gone, but that doesn't matter- it still happened, and you can't take loved away.
in this same roundabout, bittersweet, by-proxy sort of way, palamedes has been physically touched by nona, too: the atoms she currently occupies, touching atoms that he used to occupy, and never will again.
the main interaction we've seen between palamedes and his mother took place back on the sixth, with her acting as mentor and him as pupil: the two of them studying a set of hand bones, juno encouraging him every step of the way.
we know that harrowhark's "most vivid memory of her mother was of her hands guiding harrow's over an inexpertly rendered portion of skull, her fingers encircling the fat baby bracelets of harrow's wrists, tightening this cuff to indicate correct technique."
they're still small for a nineteen year old, but the wrists are bigger, in this new set of memories nona's making. and it's not an inexpertly rendered portion of skull anymore- it's a hand, now, albeit one crafted from [a piece of skull reassembled (painstakingly—passionately—laboriously reassembled) from fragments, manually, and not by a bone magician, from the skull of someone who, soon after death or symptomatically during, had exploded.] and the identity and origin of these bones is no mystery at all. they belong to palamedes, and he's consented to their use for this purpose, and that matters.
but the details are just set dressing, really. the foundation of the memory is the same.
palamedes and his mother, juno and her son.
harrow and her mother; pelleamena and her daughter.
nona and her father-mother-teacher; palamedes and his daughter.
#these fucking books. every 2-3 business days i'll find some new detail to be insane about#this post took me like three hours to write. what the fuck#palamedes sextus#nona the ninth#the locked tomb#nona#palamedes the sixth#tlt#ntn#camilla hect#tlt spoilers#pal honey. im :( :( :(#spiritually that man is a MOM okay! there's a reason tamsyn specifically assigned him the same imagery in this scene#that she's been using to represent crucial bonding moments between mother/mother figure and child/child figure#that and the 'sextus you'll make a very irritating wife someday' joke and cam's 'i'll talk to your mother later' face#ie: talk to palamedes about nona#that boy is momcoded i don't make the rules!
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One of Shadow Milk’s many prop replicas of himself, left behind. Even though the eyes are forever staring straight into the distance… Oddly enough, you still feel like you’re being watched.
But surely, though, it won’t hurt to take it home and touch up the colours, right? :)
#oh. my god chat. do i have a lot to say now#IM LOVE HIM#oh my god#fhis is the only time ur gonna see me say i love shadow milk directly and not his art HAHAHA#FUCCKKKKK#this one rlly has me messed up#ive been sitting on this concept for a long while!!! i just cant rlly nail the vibes that i want for it… but mroe than anything i want to#show him to you guys.. so issok if yall see the flopfail before i learn how to better capture my mental image#oh it’s so possessed. btw. like not even a second of thought has to be put into it#LMAO#physical vessel for the shreds of his essence that managed to avoid being sealed up. it’s not enough of him to do anything crazy…#but just enough to put you on edge :)#golden freddy pose shadow milk (i will be drawing this some day)#his ability to move is really sporadic#sometimes he’ll be right in the middle of attempting to make a gesture and then he’ll collapse mid movement… darn#(kicks him) fuck you#i think he’s….. cute.#haha.#okay#shadow milk cookie#cookie run kingdom#mystuff#cookie run#crk#crk fanart#cookie run fanart#fave#is it egotistical to put a fave tag on MY OWN ART yeah probably BUT U GUYS DONT. GE T. HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS VARIANT#doodled an oc x canon w this concept in class 2day n realized too late someone wuz watching me draw…………… man.#IM AT TAG LIMIT????? FUCK MY LIFEEE I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT WAS A THING. BYE LOL!!!!!
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"Growing up is realising a (random ship) you loved is actually weird and bad"
Yeah? Is it? Great, I love it even more. The worse it is the Better.
#seeing alot of gf fans deny the billdip phase and you are all WEAK#god i wrote some true shit for them#do you guys notice how most dni accounts are under 25 cause i do#and we all know why#babes some day this will not matter as much as you fucking think it does#i used to think some things were weird but now im older and weird things is just good taste#explore your ships#youre fucking allowed to age up characters stop letting people stop you thr characters are fake!!!#nothing you do will hurt a fictional character#feel free to ignore this#clicking into an account and seeing a dni and sliding over to the age and being like “yep#yep yep yep i knew it“#never in my life have a seen actual adults care#okay for the sake of this resonancing#freaks interact#lmao#is this discourse?#its for sure proship
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Enstars sure is an experience. Did I miss anything?
#are you guys all okay? i definitely am not okay#this is not the type of media that i usually go for yet it is EXACTLY the type of media that i would like#so many gaps so many stories WAY TOO MUCH READING I DONT HAVE THE TIME#i know i missed a lot because ive only watched the anime and read the main music story up to ch 4 of the second part#and i have read some events stories that were free#and maybe one or two outside from translations#but like thats it#this is like reading orv and getting hit with its deep metas on human life and the importance of stories#but instead im being clobbered by the most deranged storylines known to man (and again. i read ORV and am a bsd fan)#this isnt fantasy but there is nothing realistic about enstars and i unfortunately am attached#every day i spiral into east asian media that gives me an aneurysm#bsd -> orv -> link click -> enstars....i wanna say they keep getting more unhinged but theyre all unhinged in different ways#anyway please help me....#enstars#ensemble stars#fandom spamdom#stuff i say#i will admit i am mostly into the game for the stories#a consistent gamer i am not#but to unlock the stories ill push back the animes i have to catch up on etc etc#again. please help me....#edit: updated to remove queerbaiting because apparently i dont know whats going on
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Happy father's day Fred Durst
#it's fathers day for me im from aus okay...#shading his bio dad..#i love him#some people genuinely think he's my dad I'm very good at convincing#limp bizkit#nu metal#metal#fred durst#music
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I
^ i care about this scribble deeply . He he ehehe hehe
#bloodborne#decadentart#man idk what to even tag this as beyond just Bloodborne. just a bunch of yharnamites & the good hunter#I love you people of yharnam. Very dear to me#kind of an exploration of Ideas . Not reallt anything comprehensive . thats how u should do it tbh#if im drawing shit every day. its gonna get messy. Orkay#drivel as in nonsense#but also? drool. Hrmg#yes i gave that man a tail. and?#i#i should draw some yharnamites again sometime genuinely fun drawing unwashed hairy lads idk#u kinda havw to get me#also yeah the weird lips are intentional#its like the lips on dogs and wolves#look ive been listrning to the voice files of the yharnamites and it make me giggle hehehehhehe#okay! get out of my house *slams door*#also gonna try doing it only 3 colors each day. Smillee
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