#some characters share songs because I think they fit them both. it's like their playlists are interacting in a way | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pigeon-smidge · 10 months ago

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✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

So for the past couple of months I’ve been pouring my heart and soul into an analysis masterpost of this playlist, a Crowley and Aziraphale playlist comprised purely of Taylor Swift songs. I had been curating this playlist for a little while over the latter half of last year, and around November or so I decided to write up an analysis for why I’ve included each song! Some are about a specific character, some about their relationship, and many are about both! Five-ish months and eighteen pages of analysis later, here we are. It’s been so awesome to combine probably my two biggest interests, and even if you’re not a swiftie, I encourage you to read some of this if you’d like to!! You might find some songs you really like the sound of. If you like it, please support :) I spent so long on this

The track list is as follows:

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Say Don’t Go

How You Get the Girl

You are in Love

Wildest Dreams

hoax

peace

mirrorball

Come Back … Be Here

The Very First Night

All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

The Archer

Death by a Thousand Cuts

Cruel Summer

tolerate it

champagne problems

ivy

Back to December

The Great War

Midnight Rain

Tied Together With A Smile

Don’t Blame Me

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

✩✩✩✩

Notes: song titles are in the same order as the track list. they're numbered and colour-coded by album (1989 and midnights share the same colour, as do folklore and rep because Tumblr has limited options) so it’s easier for people to find specific songs they want. They’re not in any particular meaningful order, just grouped by album. If you want to read specific song analysis, please scroll to that point, or open this post in its own window and do a page search (on mac it’s command+f , but I’m not sure about other operating systems.) Obligatory disclaimer that this is all my subjective analysis, both of Taylor’s songs and Crowley and Aziraphale’s characters. I am not making any assumptions about the creative intentions behind them, these are purely what they mean in my view. What I think is not necessarily what the creators intended. If you disagree with anything, that’s fine!! Just please don’t be rude about it. I’d love to hear what you have to say about it!! If you’ve got any thoughts or additions, please add them in a reply or reblog, and we can make it a discussion :D Check back in the future if you want, because I might be adding more depending on if I have some new ideas! ✩✩✩✩

Alright, with that stuff said, here we are!! Grab a snack and get cozy if you want, this is a long one. You can read as much or as little as you want!! I hope you enjoy :)

✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Title is self-explanatory. However it fits both perspectives; Crowley begging Aziraphale to stay with him and to not leave for Heaven, and Aziraphale begging Crowley to stay with him. They both view the other as being opposed to their own plight because their failure to communicate leads to misunderstandings. Specifically the choruses are most relevant. The verses don’t really feel like they fit; they’re very, very angry and bitter, and describe a relationship that the narrator has pretty much moved on from (‘and people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye’ & ‘now you say you want it back, now that it’s just too late’ to name a few lyrics). I don’t think this is accurate to them as I don’t think they’re going to be able to move on in this way. I also don’t think they’re this angry with each other. The narrator, in the verses specifically, describes their partner in a very reductive way. ‘People like you [..]’ etc, is a very insulting way of talking. Not that either party isn’t upset with the other; I think they’re both very confused and hurt. But I don’t think they’re at the stage where they can be this vitriolic. Partially due to character reasons, and also because obviously the story isn’t going to end with them in the exact positions they’re in now (otherwise there wouldn’t be a third season and the show would be very unsatisfactory). They’re upset, but they’re resigned and bitter, as opposed to outwardly aggressive about the other. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘You were all I wanted, but not like this’ Because Crowley wants Aziraphale but only if they can stay the same, not both angels in Heaven. ‘Had me in the palm of your hand, why’d you have to go and lock me out when I let you in?’ Because Crowley poured his heart out and from his perspective Aziraphale didn’t think him enough to leave Heaven behind for. 2. Say Don’t Go

This is THE Aziracrow song. I had a 1989 (Taylor’s Version) listening party with my friends and when this played I went WAIT … especially the second verse and the bridge. The entire song is about begging someone to say that they want you to stay. Even though they both did tell the other they wanted to stay together, neither of them actually realised that’s what they were saying. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘Cause you kiss me and it stops time, and I’m yours, but you’re not mine.’ The first half of the sentence being from Aziraphale’s perspective in reference to the kiss, and the second from Crowley’s, in reference to how Crowley’s much more accepting of his romantic feelings.

‘I’m standing on the sidewalk, alone. I wait for you to drive by. I’m trying to see the cards that you won’t show.’ Because of those shots in the Final Fifteen with both of them ‘standing on the sidewalk’ watching each other from opposite sides of the road. Also, any lyrics with references to cars or driving makes me think of these two. ‘Cards that you won’t show’ is very interesting lyric, because it’s a reference to Aziraphale’s love for human magic tricks, and also to their inability to actually properly express and explain their thoughts to each other. ‘I said ‘I love you’, you say nothing back.’ Crowley’s perspective. 3. How You Get the Girl

This song is about how to apologise to someone after breaking their heart … while the breakup was not entirely Aziraphale’s fault (they BOTH need to learn to communicate and properly confront their feelings), some of the lyrics do have some similarities to their relationship.

✦Notable lyrics: ‘That you were too afraid to tell her what you want.’ He was just scared about what his feelings for Crowley mean :( 4. You are in Love

The single happy song on this playlist. Honestly, it’s a song which isn’t that specific to them and I feel like it’s applicable to every ship ever; you know, the Love Song. However, there are some lyrics in this song that have some of their vibes. The whole song is about how love is constant and yet unable to be put into words or exactly understood, which perfectly describes them. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘He says ‘look up’, and your shoulders brush’ reminds me of someone telling someone else to look up at the stars !!! because Crowley made the stars and he was so happy about them :( and Aziraphale remembered that AHHHHHH

‘and why I’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words’ it’s ineffable <3

5. Wildest Dreams This song is about falling in love with someone while knowing that it can never last.The relationship in this song is one that is magnetic and beautiful and messy, and the protagonist enters it while knowing it’s going to end but wanting to stay anyway. This describes their relationship perfectly. They both have a tendency to repress their feelings because they both feel like they can never be acted upon. Even them being friends is something that is constantly fraught with danger, something that they actively need to fight for if they want to keep it (See The Great War). To Aziraphale, indeed to both of them before their shared realisation of ‘this is possible’ because of Gabriel and Beelzebub’s confession, their relationship only ever existed in their ‘wildest dreams.’

✦Notable lyrics:

‘He said, “Let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds.” I thought, “Heaven can't help me now” Nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down.’ All of Crowley’s invitations to run away; invitations that are always declined, even if Aziraphale wants so badly to go with him. There’s always a duty that pulls him away, something he feels he needs to fix before things can be how he wants them to be.

‘Nothing lasts forever’ HAHAHAHA … ‘I said, “No one has to know what we do.”’ A relationship that’s kept hidden. “He’s so tall, and handsome as hell. He’s so bad, but he does it so well.”Beauty and love that pulls you in, but feels wicked and frightening. See Cruel Summer.

6. hoax

THE Crowley song. About loving someone who exposes your vulnerabilities; they feel like part of who you are, so they’re also your biggest weakness. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘Stood on the cliff side screaming ‘give me a reason’’ is very much ‘show me a Great Plan.’ ‘My best laid plan, your sleight of hand.’ References to magic!! Crowley prepared and tried to gain enough confidence to confess to Aziraphale and ask for them to run away together, but Aziraphale’s ‘sleight of hand’ and the Metatron’s influence messed with that. It looked like he was actually going to confess and they maybe had a chance, but then that all fell apart because he didn’t foresee any reason why Aziraphale would go back to Heaven . ‘You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart, but what you did was just as dark. Darling, this was just as hard as when they pulled me apart.’ Aziraphale ‘abandoning’ him hurt him greatly, as it felt like such a core part of him was being torn away. This is akin to what Falling would likely have been like, obviously not the same, but in both instances his sense of normal, his identity, and everything that he held dear to him was destroyed.

‘You know I left a part of me back in New York.’Crowley and Aziraphale can both never truly leave the other without leaving ‘a part’ of themselves behind, because they’re so intertwined in each other's existences.

7. peace

Describes how they could never find peace with each other because ‘hereditary enemies’ etc etc etc. They can’t be safe together; for a long time they couldn’t even admit their friendship because it would mean danger. We can still see this in Aziraphale; he’s constantly afraid of doing the wrong thing when he should be a good angel.

8. mirrorball

THE Aziraphale song. Perhaps one of the most Aziraphale songs of all time I'm genuinely not joking or exaggerating it's SO GOOD. About a people pleaser who revolves their life around others. Their existence and value is determined by their role in relation to someone else and how well they serve said role. The image of a mirrorball, shining high above the dancefloor, providing light and a shiny jewel for everyone to look at, yet being all alone (that Taylor Swift described was the inspiration for the song), is very fitting. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight.’ For so much of his life, Az’s purpose has been to serve Heaven. This lyric reflects that. His character growth throughout the show largely focuses on him coming to terms with their lies and abuse, and forming moral codes of his own.

‘You are not like the regulars, the masquerade revellers, drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten.’ ‘Masquerade revellers’ referring to the angels, watching Aziraphale ‘break in a million pieces’ to serve Heaven, without understanding that he has limits and he’s his own person.

‘Hush, when no one is around, my dear, you'll find me on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you. Hush, I know they said the end is near. But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you.’ Aziraphale only really acts himself when it’s just him and Crowley and they’re free of Heaven and Hell’s observing forces. Also ‘I know they said the end is near’ ; reference to Armageddon!! ‘I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why, I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try try try’ He’s trying to be good but his warped understanding of what good is hindering that. He has such a low self-esteem especially in regards to his own ‘goodness’, hence he tries so hard :( he’s just trying to do the right thing but he doesn’t realise what he believes to be right is far from it ahhhhhh

‘I’m still on that tightrope, still trying everything to keep you looking at me.’ Remember the ‘I’m standing on a tightrope, alone.’ Lyric from Say Don’t Go? He’s positioned above everyone else, on a completely different level to them, representing his isolation and unique status as really one of the only angels who’s simultaneously trying to do the right thing to help people while following the will of Heaven, things which often contradict each other.

9. Come Back …. Be Here

Long distance anthem!!!!! Them pining after each other after the s2 finale when they’re separated; it mostly feels like Crowley’s pov.

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘taxi cabs and busy streets that never bring you back to me’ London is busy, but to Crowley, it feels empty because one of the things he loved the most is gone. ‘If I'd known what I know now, I never would have played so nonchalant.’ Because their own constant inability to confront their feelings and dancing around their relationship is what lead to their misunderstanding and then them being separated. If they had actually talked about things together, maybe they’d have a better understanding of their relationship and what the other wants.

10. The Very First Night.Nostalgia and looking back on what was. Very fitting for a show with immortal beings that features their histories together all throughout time. ‘I knew the angel you used to be.’ ‘The angel you knew is not me.’ ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I wish I could fly, I’d pick you up and we’d go back in time, I’d write this in the sky, I miss you like it was the very first night.’ opening scene of season two, CROWLEY MADE THE STARS DKAJNS They both want things between them to be normal and safe. Aziraphale thinks that them being together in Heaven, like things used to be, would ensure this, but Crowley of course wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole. ‘I wish I could fly’ is interesting. Falling being akin to clipping a bird’s wings; removing them of their power. Obviously Heaven would think taking away an Angel’s Heavenly status is a terrible punishment. It’s interesting because Crowley doesn’t actually wish he could fly because he doesn’t want to be an angel again. This lyric could be representative of both of their wishes for more power to be able to change things. They both want to be able to make things better for the two of them and for everyone else, Aziraphale just thinks he has to become a better angel and embrace his Heavenly duties even more in order to make things how he wants them (‘If I’m in charge, I can make a difference.’)

11. All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

One of her most iconic breakup songs …. but this song, and the 10 minute version specifically, has lots of lyrics that remind me of them. Notable lyrics: ‘Something ‘bout it felt like home, somehow’ Aziraphale was home to Crowley, when neither Heaven nor Hell ever treated Crowley like he had a place. One of my favourite metaphors in this show is the use of Crowley’s glasses to represent his vulnerability. The bookshop is one of the only places he ever takes them off because it’s the only place he feels really safe. Him taking them off during his confession only to put them back on again when he realises Aziraphale isn’t going to follow him, and then being on during the kiss is just so symbolic!!!! AJSNBSKDNSBSK ‘You almost ran the red cause you were looking over at me’ obligatory driving lyric ‘you used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin sized bed’ Crowley used to be so happy about making the stars :( ‘Oh, your sweet disposition, And my wide-eyed gaze’ THEM !!!! More vibes of them as angels though. ‘And I was thinkin' on the drive down: Any time now, he's gonna say it's love. You never called it what it was. ‘til we were dead and gone and buried, check the pulse and come back swearing, it's the same after three months in the grave. And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you but all I felt was shame, and you held my lifeless frame’ This entire section is them. Aziraphale could never admit their friendship or his own feelings because of his relationship with heaven. He feels ‘shame’ because it’s not what he should be doing as an angel. ‘And there we are again when nobody had to know. You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath. Sacred prayer, and we'd swear to remember it all too well, yeah’ Hiding their relationship because az is afraid and it puts both of them in danger. However Crowley doesn’t have the same loyalty to heaven or hell so he keeps aziraphale like an ‘oath’ because it’s an important vow as opposed to something you have to keep hidden. Also any references to prayer is yeah !!!! ‘Well, maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much.’ Because they never talk about their feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ‘They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new hell every time you double-cross my mind. You said ‘if we had been closer in age maybe it would've been fine’ and that made me want to die’ References to hell. Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels (but this isn’t true, while Aziraphale does still have biases against Hell because of Heaven’s abuse -’You’re the bad guys!, etc-, he just wants them to be happy :( ) Also ‘every time you double-cross my mind’ is such a clever piece of lyricism. I’ve got nothing too deep to comment on with that one, it’s just plain clever. ‘The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel, whose shine reflects on you’ Again, Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels. Aziraphale also deeply failed to understand that Crowley doesn’t want to go back to heaven; this section is from Crowley’s view that aziraphale only cares about him as an angel, which is partly true but he remembers how happy and safe they both were as angels, and he just wants that feeling back. ‘I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight’ fighting for a broken cause; applicable mostly to Aziraphale’s loyalty to Heaven, but could also have meaning in regards to him and Crowley (See The Great War). ‘I still remember the first fall of snow and how it glistened as it fell. I remember it all too well’ because they were together for the very first fall of rain EVER !!!1

12. The Archer This is perhaps one of Taylor’s most Crowley songs ever. His anxiety and paranoia. He’s constantly on edge, constantly worried. He’s lived consistently exposed to danger and lies in every single direction with Aziraphale being the only one he could really trust, and even then, the two of them weren’t ever fully honest with each other. ‘The archer’ is someone who is consistently ‘ready for combat’ and thus sabotages their relationships because of this and feels guilt for it. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘I jump from the train, I ride off alone.’ Crowley’s way of dealing with stressful things is to run away from them. He consistently abandons situations he isn’t prepared to deal with because he ‘never grew up’ and gained the ability to properly communicate his feelings. Him walking out the bookshop door and driving away could be a representation of him running away from his feelings for Aziraphale because the fragile hope he’d gained in the previous scene had been torn down.

‘I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you.’ Because they never actually talk to each other:

‘Because you and Mr. Fell don’t ever talk to each other.’

‘We talk all the time, trust me. We’ve been talking for millions of years. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I say something brilliant, he says something unintentionally funny back, it’s great.’

‘You never say what you’re really thinking.’

‘I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost, the room is on fire, invisible smoke.’ Bookshop fire ….. also just general restlessness and inability to sleep; to rest, because he always feels like he needs to be fighting for what he has and wants otherwise he’ll lose it.

‘All of my enemies started out friends, help me hold on to you’ Crowley’s whole life and sense of self was torn away from him and burned, and any relationships he managed to have before he Fell would have gone up in flames as well. His desperately self-sustaining and combative attitude towards existence was likely borne from this; being unsteady in anything he ever gained. Aziraphale obviously was the only relationship he really was able to ‘hold on to’, but even the angel was never able to fully feel like he could be himself … and also, this lyric:

‘screaming who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay? [….] you could stay.’ Except ‘he’ didn’t stay, did ‘he’?

13. Death by a Thousand Cuts

A breakup song about a relationship that you can’t move on from because it formed such a key part of you for so many years. It was ‘a great love; one for the ages’ yet you’re ‘still writing pages.’

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright, they say ‘I don’t know’’ very much Crowley driving around aimlessly trying to fill up the space Aziraphale left behind.

‘I get drunk but it’s not enough because the morning comes and you’re not my baby.’ Because that’s also how Crowley copes with his feelings when they get too overwhelming; running away and drowning himself with drink.

‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug, now I’m searching for signs in a haunted club.’Aziraphale doesn’t really feel comfortable admitting his relationship with Crowley. We can see that Crowley doesn’t like this through, for example, their dialogue when Crowley first asks for holy water (‘fraternising’ etc). To Crowley, Aziraphale leaving must have felt like Crowley wasn’t enough to stay for, and that Aziraphale never really loved him as much as he loved Aziraphale. Also bears similarity to Don’t Blame Me (‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh.’) which gives the impression of love that was addicting and powerful, but it became too much. ‘Our songs, our films, united, we stand, our country, guess it was a lawless land.’Get ready because this line is so much more meaningful than I ever realised when I added it to this post. ‘Our songs’ something something nightingales.

But the real meat of this lyric lies in the second half. The phrase ‘united, we stand, divided, we fall’ is often used in mottos of organisations and countries in order to inspire collaboration and patriotism for them. It preaches the importance of staying loyal to a certain side, for if division sows among them, then they will ‘fall.’ Historically, it has been frequently used as war propaganda in WWII, and the American Revolutionary War. It has also been used in the struggle for Indian independence, by Ulster loyalists in Ireland, and by many political leaders, for example. Similar phrases can be found in the Bible, for example in in Mark 3:25 (If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand), Matthew 12:25 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand), and Luke 11:17 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and a divided household falls).

In this song it describes the relationship between the singer and their former lover, which further animates their love as a physical nation or state (as well as a house with the lyrics ‘I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up, chandelier’s still flickering here ‘cause I can’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not).

This animation and the use of this specific phrase which has been used to garner a sense of loyalty towards a cause shows their love to have been a deeply personal thing, something you pledge your devotion to. However, in this song it’s contrasted with the lyric ‘Guess it was a lawless land’ which shows that the nation and love was hollow. It fell apart due to division.

Remind you of anything? Loyalty conflicts is a big part of this show, particularly with Aziraphale’s character, who is still shown to be attached to Heaven as late in his character arc as the Armageddon storyline in season one:

‘Even if I did, why would I tell you? We’re on opposite sides!’

‘We’re on our side!’

‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’

Aziraphale’s turmoil between his Heavenly duties and his feelings for Crowley (not just romantic, even their friendship) is a large part of his unwillingness to admit their closeness, but he’s also just afraid that they’ll get punished. He’s just afraid.

‘we could’ve been …. us.’

‘our side.’

‘a group of the two of us.’

etc , etc

Their relationship is repeatedly treated like it’s its own ‘side’ or ‘group’ that can be pledged allegiance to or deserted. This perfectly sets up Az’s character conflict and growth. It’s so GOOD!!!!!!

It also has a double meaning with Heaven’s patriotism, which has a façade of goodness but is really very corrupt and ‘lawless.’

‘But it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t enough, no, no.’Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale to go with him, he did everything he could, but it didn’t work. That’s what the kiss was; not a moment of love, but a moment of desperation. A final attempt to lay everything out. But it wasn’t enough.

14. Cruel Summer

Secret relationship that makes you feel whole but destroys you at the same time. ‘Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes.’ Religious language. The inability for Heaven and Hell to understand love, and even just friendship, between angels and demons is possible. Hell, and the demons, ‘roll[s] the dice’, the language featuring references to gambling shows their more opportunistic nature and need to trick every situation into benefiting them, because otherwise they’re stuck at the bottom of the pile. They can risk everything on a bet that could see them losing all their money, but they don’t really have anything to lose, which makes them very dangerous (like Furfur). Heaven is more judgemental, ‘roll[ing] their eyes.’ This judgement is what Aziraphale is afraid of (and, of course, the physical retribution that follows). It’s rather akin to an abusive relationship such as between a parent and a child, with an unhealthy power dynamic and Heaven always having more control. The child is always trying to do what’s right, but their view of what is right is often in relation to what their parent has raised them to believe is right, or simply in relation to whatever will make the parent happy. This is an analogy that perfectly describes Aziraphale and his internal conflict. ‘and if I bleed you’ll be the last to know’ Az hides his distress and doesn’t like people seeing him cry. See Tied Together with a Smile (second to last song).

‘and I scream for whatever it’s worth; ‘I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?’’ From Crowley’s perspective, Aziraphale loves Heaven more than him, and loving him is something that is shocking and unthinkable. Aziraphale is aware and okay with his feelings for Crowley, he’s only okay with them on a very, very surface level. He’s only sort of okay with their friendship, but doesn’t want to acknowledge anything more than that. So even if a confession of love is something Aziraphale wants from Crowley, he also doesn’t want to hear because he knows that they could never work. AHHHHHHH 15. tolerate it Largely about Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven. He gives them everything and works so hard to be a good angel but they never fully value him. ✦ Notable lyrics: The bridge also is in reference to his and Crowley’s relationship: ‘While you were out building other worlds, where was I?’ Because they made the stars!!!!!

‘Where’s that man who threw blankets over my barbed wire? I made you my temple, my mural, my sky … now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life.’ CROWLEY CROWLEY!!! Also religious imagery is just *chef's kiss*.

16. champagne problems

About a proposal that’s refused … I feel like I do not need to elaborate much on this, however it does apply to both of them, because they BOTH were offering something that the other refused. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘this dorm was once a mad-house, I made a joke, ‘well it’s made for me’’ Crowley vibes. ‘I never was ready so I watched you go.’ Aziraphale wasn’t ready to fully turn away from Heaven, so he had to watch Crowley leave. ‘You had a speech, you’re speechless, love slipped beyond your reaches.’ Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale; he knew he had to start talking first because if not he’d ‘never start talking. He knew what he was going to say, he ‘had a speech’ but it ‘wasn’t enough’ and Aziraphale ‘slipped’ away.

17. ivy

This song is about an affair, and it’s also a very, very queercoded song. To Aziraphale, his relationship with Crowley feels like figuratively cheating on Heaven, ignoring his duties and shunning his responsibility and role as a ‘good angel’. Notable lyrics: ‘He’s in the room, but your opal eyes are all I wish to see.’ “But it’s pretty!” 💛💛 ‘So tell me to run, or dare to sit and watch what will become.’ Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven is very mentally abusive. He will only be free of their influence if he ‘runs’ from them. He can’t stay connected to Heaven and be truly free and happy.

‘So yeah, it’s a fire, it’s a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it, you started it. So yeah, it’s a war, it’s the goddamn fight of my life, and you started it, you started it.’ Both of their, but especially Aziraphale’s, internal conflict symbolised through fire and war. ‘Spring breaks loose, but so does fear’ Their bond and love has remained throughout history, and with Gabriel and Beelzebub revealing their relationship, the spark of hope was lit in both of them. ‘Spring [broke] loose’ but the Metatron’s offer subsequently pulled Aziraphale away from Crowley and reignited some of the ‘fear’ that he’s spent the show trying to grow away from.

‘He’s going to burn this house to the ground.’ Speaking of Aziraphale’s fear; he’s worried about what admitting his feelings for Crowley, romantic or even just their friendship, will mean. The danger that it will draw. This lyric also has an interesting double meaning, referencing the literal burning of Aziraphale’s bookshop.

18. Back to December.

Another song about apologising to someone for breaking their heart. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye.’ The first part of this lyric is only really relative to Crowley’s confession in the Final Fifteen, because their relationship has never really been stable; they never gave the other ‘all [their] love’ because their fear stopped them. Crowley only ever showed his love to Aziraphale because he felt like he didn’t have a choice and it was the only thing that could save them. But Aziraphale

‘But then the cold came, dark days when fear crept into my mind.’ I initially added this lyric because it reminded me of Aziraphale, but it also now reminds me of both of them. Their own fears interfered with their abilities to accept the other’s confession and to be happy. They need to both grow and learn before they can actually have a healthier romantic relationship.

19. The Great War

The metaphor of relationship troubles and trauma being connected to war.

There are some references to said relationship troubles relating to the inability to properly confront feelings and issues, instead turning away and using silence as a punishment to avoid really having to change your relationship.

Also relevant because their relationship isn’t just a metaphorical war; there is the imminent threat of literal war between Heaven and Hell, and literal physical negative repercussions to each of them due to their love being known. The motif of soldiers is also connected to the line of ‘I’m a soldier who’s returning half her weight.’ from ATW10MV.

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘It turned into something bigger, somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed. Your finger on my hair pin triggers …. soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honour and truth, broken and blue, so I called off the troops. That was the night I nearly lost you. I really thought I lost you.’

They are each other’s weaknesses; see hoax. Their inability to communicate their feelings lead to the breakdown of their relationship. They ‘really thought [they] lost�� each other. ‘And maybe it's the past that's talkin’, screamin' from the crypt. Telling me to punish you for things you never did. So I justified it.’

A bit part of Aziraphale’s character is his journey of developing his own sense of morality independent of Heaven’s. This is especially delved into in season two through, for example, the Job storyline and the Edinburgh storyline. However, we can see that he’s still very much under the influence of Heaven’s abuse during episode six through the way he still believes what they say about right and wrong and about the nature of Hell (‘Of course you said no to Hell, you’re the bad guys’ as opposed to ‘they’re the bad guys’). He doesn’t want to do anything malicious, and he doesn’t want to leave to Heaven, with his conflict about staying or going being quite obvious (as numerous points in the Final Fifteen he appears very tortured, frequently hesitating and trying to say things other than wanting to go back to Heaven). But he feels like it’s what he had to do, ‘So [he] justified it.’

20. Midnight Rain

This song is actually on their official playlist!!! About moving on from someone who wanted something different out of your relationship; a sentence which almost perfectly describes the way they view their relationship (of course, their misunderstanding led them both to believe the other wants something different, when in actuality they both want the same thing; to be safe together).

‘My town was a wasteland, full of cages, full of fences, pageant queens and big pretenders, but for some it was paradise’

‘It came like a postcard, picture-perfect, shiny family, holidays, peppermint candy, but for him it’s every day.’Heaven… I don’t think I really need to elaborate on this.

‘He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain. He wanted a bride, I was making my own name, chasing that fame, he stayed the same, all of me changed like midnight rain.’

Crowley wants them, he wants them to be ‘comfortable’ and safe, and he thinks that’ll only come if they distance themselves from both Heaven and Hell. Aziraphale also wants this, but he also can’t leave Heaven behind to the extent Crowley wants him to. He wants the ‘pain’ of belonging to Heaven’s institution and having high value there, because it’s familiar to him. It might be incredibly abusive, but it’s home to him.

He wants to do the right thing, and he thinks that the only way to do that is to stay there. Ahhh ..

21. Tied Together With A Smile

Aziraphale song :( another one about his massive insecurities, folks.

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘you walk around here thinking you’re not pretty’ Aziraphale always doubts how good of an angel he is and how well he’s doing what’s expected of him.

‘That you cry, but you don’t tell anyone, that you might not be the golden one, and you’re tied together with a smile but you’re coming undone.’Aziraphale doesn’t like letting anyone see him cry. He always turns away and tries to pretend he’s the ‘golden one’, trying to pretend everything is fine and he’s always doing exactly what Heaven wants, yet he is so insecure about his goodness.

The entire second verse about him wanting love and praise from Heaven: ‘I guess it’s true that love was all you wanted […] but he leaves you out like a penny in the rain’ he’s tossed aside and talked down to by the people he works so hard to do the right thing for.

22. Don’t Blame Me Mainly this song is included because of its heavy religious motifs. It’s very reminiscent of a gospel song, also connections to Cruel Summer; ‘love made me crazy’. Of course a lot of this song is very ironic because it describes a love so strong and intense that it ‘made [me] crazy’, that you disregard everything ‘true’ and ‘right’, only doing what you feel is right in connection to your lover, nothing else mattering. However, this is absolutely NOT what happened in this show, in fact the exact reverse. I think this song describes how Crowley feels; not feeling connected to the institutions of Heaven and Hell and being willing to leave them completely behind. Perhaps it also describes a hypothetical future in which Aziraphale has grown and reached the point he can comfortably leave Heaven completely.

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘Baby I would fall from Grace, just to touch your face. If you’d walk away, I’d beg you on my knees to stay.’ Because .. because that’s what happened. They begged eachother to stay :( Also religious language. ‘I get so high, oh, every time you’re, every time you’re loving me, you’re loving me.’ Their relationship is so powerful (especially how they were able to perform the really large miracle ACCIDENTALLY). ‘Something happened for the first time in the darkest little Paradise.’ Religious language. Them being together is their own ‘little Paradise’, because, due to them being forced to hide the nature of their relationship, their relationship becomes very intimate and personal. ‘Halo, hiding my obsession, I once was poison ivy but now I’m your daisy.’ Religious language. Aziraphale helps Crowley be able to relax and to rest, letting down his guard. Crowley’s not fully able to do this, and he’s not fully willing to embrace the fact he is indeed ‘nice’, but he’s getting there. He’s still The Archer, but he can put down his bow slightly easier (but of course, the one time he fully put it down and opened up his heart, he was burned, so I don’t think he’ll be doing it again any time soon). ‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh, oh.’ This lyric is particularly meaningful when parallelled to Death by a Thousand Cuts; ‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug.’

23. Dancing With Our Hands Tied This song describes a love that you desperately want to be hidden yet you know that it’s only a matter of time before everyone finds out and the danger starts.To have one’s hands tied is to be unable to affect something, representing how their relationship and their own lives were always out of their control because they could never live how they wanted to without fear of retribution (an excellent metaphor for queerness). Additionally, the motif of dancing, which in this context is an intimate and notably private act between the two lovers, is happening while the lovers’ hands are tied, representing the division and conflict that intrudes even while they’re alone together (‘Something happened for the first time in a darkest little Paradise’ from Don’t Blame Me).

✦ Noteable lyrics: ‘I, I loved you in secret.’ ‘Yeah, we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied, hands tied.’ See above for analysis of the title lyric!! This song also reminds me of them because thy did actually dance together in season 2 episode 5, which is one of my all time favourite GO episodes. ‘I, I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us. So, baby, can we dance, oh, through an avalanche?’ They couldn’t live how they wanted because of ‘deep fears’ that outside forces would ‘divide’ them, which in the end is what happened. Feeling like the world is against them (‘angels and demons, they can’t just-’)

Honourable mentions!!

Lyrics that make me think of them but there’s not enough content in the overall song to justify it being put on the playlist. They don’t have much, if any, elaboration, but if you want to hear my thoughts on any of these, let me know!! Of course I’ll add analysis to these if anyone wants them. This will probably be the section of the post that’ll be updated the most frequently, and feel free to reply or reblog with any of your additions :D

‘Just a shot, just a shot in the dark, oh oh.’ - Sweeter than Fiction, 1989 (remember the ‘I’ve known it from the very start, we’re a shot in the darkest dark’ from Say Don’t Go?)

‘Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon. Your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘Eyes full of stars, hustling for the good life […].’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘And you asked me to dance, but I said ‘Dancing is a dangerous game.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘I knew it from the first, old-fashioned, we were cursed, we never had a shotgun, shot in the dark.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (again, the ‘shot in the dark’ lyric! Also this was my suprise song WHAT THE FUCK?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?)

‘We were jet-set, Bonnie and Clyde, oh yeah, ‘till I switched to the other side, to the other side.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (‘We’re on our side!’ … ‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’).

‘Cause lately I don’t even know what page you’re on.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘Oh, simple complication, miscommunication leads to fallout. So many things that I wish you knew, so many walls up I can’t break through.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now

'But I liked it better when you were on my side.' -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘And I wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser, who only wanted you to see her.’ -You’re Losing Me, Midnights

‘Loving him was like driving a new Massarati down a dead end street; faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ended so suddenly.’ - Red, Red

'You dream of my mouth before it called you a 'lying traitor.' - Is It Over Now? , 1989 (Taylor's Version)

'When your impressionist paintings of Heaven turned out to be fake, well, you took me to Hell too.' - loml, The Tortured Poets Department

thanks for getting to the bottom!! it means so much to me that you wanted to read this in any amount, you truly have no idea. here's a cookie 🍪 !!!!!

bye :D

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coffeemakerwriter · 8 months ago

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GhostSoap playlist

TW’s: suicide, SA, death, depression, grief, abuse mentions, heavy angst with little to no fluff, may be ooc!! Heavy on soaps death!! Please proceed with caution and let me know if I miss any tags!

A/N: I prefer light and fluffy stuff for ghost and soap but :)) I thought this would be fun! I don’t really have any angsty headcanons for them but I kinda just wrote out my thoughts for this :) this is probs super out of character but that’s okay!

Wc: 1k woords!

Reckless driving by Lizzy mcalpaine and Ben Kessler:

I don’t exactly know why this fits, but it makes sense to me in a way, I think in the way that ghost and soap are both reckless, but ghost is reckless in the way he doesn’t care if he died, but I think in a way, he doesn’t want to take soap with him, and I think that’s frustrate soap, that ghost is so willing to risk his life for him that he’d go as far as to kill himself if it was needed. As long as it keeps soap alive.

The Gold - Phobe Bridgers version:

I think of this in the way after the soap's death ghost is different, ‘I don’t think I love you anymore, that gold mine changed you’? That feels like after Soap's death ghost someone says how different he is, closed off, ‘I don’t wanna be me anymore’ could be ghost agonizing on how he feels because of ghosts death and feels guilty about how he’s been acting since and fears it’s damaging his remaining relationships.

Cherry wine - live by Hozier:

Soap to ghost is a spitfire, loud and wild, hard to contain, harsh barks of laughter and his eyes light up at an ability to fight, but he loves when he’s calm too. “Her fight and fury is fiery Oh but she loves Like sleep to the freezing

Sweet and right and merciful I'm all but washed In the tide of her breathing” can be how soft soap is with ghost, how sweet he can be regardless of his bright and fiery personality. He would love him regardless if he was soft or harsh.

Born to die by Lana del rey:

Regardless of whatever timeline you look at, both of them are born to die, never actually destined to be together forever. Either they both die or one is ripped away. Neither get a happy ending.

Johnny boy by Twenty One pilots:

‘Get up Johnny boy’ can be ghost begging soap to get up, getting more and more distraught as he repeats it, the sickening realization that his pride and joy isn’t getting up, because his pride and joy is dead. ‘I will carry all your names, and I will carry all your shame’ can be ghost vowing in some way that even after his death he will make sure he means something, that his death didn’t go in vain and even with his faults and mistakes he will make sure Johnny will be carried on.

Army dreamers by Kate bush:

The entire song can be played on the fact that soap's body is being brought home, that his coffin is being home to his mother and sisters, how they wish he had chosen something else to do instead of being a soldier, an army dreamer. How he died so young, and how he’ll never make it past his 20’s. But even then, he’ll always be his mammy’s hero.

Not strong enough by boygenius:

I think this kinda deals with more so, ghosts grief with soaps death, how he feels empty and doesn’t know why he is the way he is after he dies. ‘Do you see us getting scraped off the pavement?’ Could be in allusion to the fact he thought about killing himself after soap's death, that in some way he felt like it was his fault soap died. And maybe the emptiness he feels going home to shared space, knowing that soap won’t be there anymore, knowing that he’s alone now. Knowing that he’s never coming home.

I bet on losing dogs by mitski

Ghost holding soaps body, cradling his head in his lap, his baby, he’s watching him die, holding his cold, lifeless body. He knew he wasn’t gonna live, how do you survive something like that? That’s a bet you can’t win. He knew he wouldn’t survive, so all he can do is hold him in his last moments and offer comfort in his last moments. Because either way he’s watching him die.

Savior complex by Phobe bridgers:

I think soap wants to help ghost get better, offer him a place of comfort, save him, but ghost isn’t all that open about things. Not his childhood, not roba, and sure as hell not his family. But soap wants to be there for him, show me yours show you mine? He’s willing to be vulnerable with him if only he’d be vulnerable too, soap thinks he will be, with time at least.

Sarah by Alex g:

I don’t really know how to explain this one either, just the fact I feel like ghost would feel like he’s in a dream, constantly seeing Johnny, seeing his face, hearing his voice, running to him, only for him to be woken up just before he can reach him. I feel like ghost would wait for him like a dog, despite knowing he’s gone, he’s not coming back, he still waits. Or atleast waits till he can join him.

All for us by labyrinth:

I feel like Johnny and ghost would do anything for eachother, they love each other so much that they would die for the other. They would risk their careers for each other if it came down to it. Genuinely I think they’d kill for the other if they had to, without a thought.

Feel better by Penelope Scott:

I think ghost found comfort in his unwellness after soap's death, a routine maybe, I think ghost agonized over it not only becaUse of just how close they were in general but because someone had actually loved him, loved him despite his flaws, his issues, despite everything they loved him. I think in a way, he thinks he’s incapable of being loved. But soap disproved that, and the fact that he loved him despite everything made it hurt even more.

Funeral by Phobe bridgers:

Imagine ghost talking at soap's funeral, going to the funeral of someone he cared so deeply about that he didn’t think would die so soon. Imagine him having to talk to his mother, comfort her and tell her how much her son meant to him. And how sometimes he wakes up from nightmares of johnny's death, only weeks after it happened, and how he just has this deep feeling of sadness and emptiness and he can’t help but wonder if it’ll always be like this.

I love you so by the Walter’s:

Imagine ghost seeing soap in a dream, begging soap to stay only for him to tell him he needs to let go, but he’s not ready to yet. He doesn’t want to let him go, he doesn’t want to forget him. He loves him. Why does he want him to forget? He doesn’t want to forget his smile, or the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs. He doesn’t want to forget any of it.

Freaks by Surf Curse:

I feel like ghost dreams about soap a lot after his death. And everytime he dreams of him he hopes he doesn’t wake up, either because he wants to stay with him just a little longer or because he hopes somehow he’ll die in his sleep, so he can finally be at peace.

We’ll never have sex by leith ross:

I feel like ghost has a fear of sexual intimacy or at least some anxiety around it. And he’s afraid that soap will want to initiate that sort of stuff with him, and he’s worried that soap will leave him when he finds out that he doesn’t like sex all that much, or that can make him uncomfortable at times. He's in therapy for sure, but that doesn’t make it completely go away. But I think Johnny would be understanding, willing to listen to him when he explains how sometimes it makes him uncomfortable. I don’t think Johnny would do anything to make ghost uncomfortable on purpose. I do think he’d make sure ghost is comfortable with anything sexual.

Mr. Loverman by Ricky Montgomery:

I think this is just mainly ghost missing Johnny, maybe drinking too much one night, agonizing on how much he misses him, what he could’ve done differently, and if he got there sooner, could he have saved him? Would he be sitting here beside him instead of in an urn?

Like real people do by Hozier:

I think this is just them learning to love, being soft with each other, about how they met, I don’t think soap would ask very many questions about ghosts' childhood, I think he’d figure out pretty early on that it wasn’t a good one. I think he’d let him speak about it when he was ready, when he felt safe to do so. I think in a way he’d feel a sad bitterness when he sees ghost exhibit behaviors he learned from his childhood, like walking quietly, doing things to please him when he got upset, things to make him happy. I think that’s when Johnny would connect the dots, that he didn’t have a good childhood. I think regardless of that though, Johnny would treat him with the care he deserves, and I think ghost would do the same too.

Nothings new by Rio Romeo:

I think ghost would settle in this emptiness that he felt like he could never get out of, this never ending feeling that nothing will ever change, that he will always feel empty now that soap is dead.

Sunlight by Hozier:

I think soap and ghost do make eachother happy, that they work well together as a couple, that they have boundaries that are good and they communicate well. Soap his ghosts sunlight and he’d die on that hill. Soap means everything to ghost and soap is the same way with him. I feel like they make eachother better as people and learn to better themselves for the other. Because they WANT to make their relationship work.

J’s lullaby (darlin’ I’d wait for you) by Delaney Bailey:

I think in a way, ghost will always wait for soap to come back, he’s always gonna hope for him to come through their front door after a deployment, and curl himself into his side and rest their for the rest of the night. Logically he knows that won’t happen, but he’d give anything for it to. Because he’d do anything for his Johnny.

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bubblespalace · 2 months ago

Note

Hello! I want a matchup for Diabolik Lovers! Take your time and thank u so much! ^^

Physical Description: almost 1'70cm, a bit chubby (my friends say that I'm like the women on art sculpture but a bit chubbier). I have wavy hair (I have big natural curls), medium short and dark brown. My eyes are dark brown too, with sunlight they look orange. I have so many moles, like 3 or 4 in the face and have like 3 birthmarks on my belly. I have a big nose, just like Hange Zoe from AOT nose.

Zodiac Sign: Sun Taurus / Moon Aires / Ascendent Taurus / Venus Aries

MBTI + Enneagram: INTP 7w6

Sexuality: Bisexual

Age + Pronouns: 23 yo she/her

Personality: Everyone that knows me says that I'm the mom friend, but that sometimes I'm like a child and like to do pranks and act silly. At the start I'm someone cold and serious because I live so many betrayals from friends, but when I connect with someone I give everything about me to be with that person. I'm someone really loyal to my partners and friends. I'm truly clumsy too, like I can get hurt, have a bruise and don't remember when or how I get hurt. I'm the older sister of a party girl so I usually treat all my younger friends like little siblings.

Likes + Dislikes: I like photography (I'm a professional wedding photographer). I studied at an Art School so I like art and know how to draw. I love animals even though I'm allergic to most animals, I don't care about getting a little sick because I've been with animals just a bit. I love playing videogames like Genshin Impact, Honkai Star Rail and classics like Pokemon. I love anime too, my actual favourite is Tokyo Revengers. I love musicals and usually listen to some all day on my earphones, the ones that I most like are Epic, Hamilton, Mamma Mia and Heathers. I love sweets! But the food that I like the most is strawberries with condensed milk.

Hobbies + Passions: I love my work and photography, I have been working on weddings for some years and I love recording the beautiful memories of those days. I studied photography at an Art School and they teach me to think more artistic and for fashion, and I like that work too. My real dream was being a journalist but it was too difficult and I decided to work as a news photographer, I'm still trying to be one. I usually listen to music all day in my earphones while doing things in my house or work, sometimes I put the music out loud and sing the songs of my playlists. I love playing Roll, I like being the master and writing stories for the player and seeing how they react to everything. As I said before, I love videogames and play sometimes. I like buying manga and collecting them, actually I have all Tokyo Revengers manga and like to collect the characters books.

I was split between Ayato and Shuu, for you, however, I eventually settled on SHUU SAKAMAKI (78 % match)

Shuu honestly fits the best with you, because of your 'mom friend' demeanor. And, when you do have your silly moments, he's likely to get a chuckle out of it before going back to sleep. As long as you don't play a prank on him.

Artist/Muse may land to be a thing with you two. Considering both of you have an artistic quality. You both also have in common the earphones thingy lol.

Since you love sweets, you may end up getting Shuu's dessert each time you go out on a date since he canonically dislikes sweet things. [Oppisites attract here]

He might playfully tease you for being clumsy, saying you just want his attention before pulling you into a cuddle session. Not a 100% match, because Shuu might end up finding you too energetic for his tastes. And he doesn't really share your interest in manga or any other entertainment. Other possible matches: Ayato Sakamaki ( 75% match ) Kou Mukami ( 70 % match ) Reiji Sakamaki ( 65 % match )

#diabolik lovers fandom #diabolik lovers #diabolik lovers ask blog #diaboliklovers #reiji sakamaki #ayato sakamaki #shu sakamaki #kou mukami

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princesstarfire1234 · 4 months ago

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Scavengers playlist

Made this way back and have just been adding stuff as I listen to em but thought I'd share it here because why not, possibly maybe even get song recs from some of you guys ahaaa

Random thoughts and stuff about which songs are for who or why I put em there below the cut ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Alone Together by Fallout Boy - saw someone on tumblr say this song was "literally the Scavengers anthem" and they're so fucking real for that; "I don't know where you're going but do you got room for one more troubled soul" is literally them.... mann... Also that Fallout Boy album just bangs hard in general

Dare to Be Stupid by "Weird Al" Yankovic - they DO dare to be fuckin stuuuuupiiddd, i love these idiots

Dare by Stan Bush - This and Dare to be Stupid were both in the Transformers '86 movie so that's how I thought about em, aside that though I was listening to em once and just went "oh damn this is kinda them i think"

Bang Bang by K'NAAN - Shoot Shoot Bang Bang core, so much in fact that I've been wanting and still want to do a Scavs animation with this song

21 Guns by Green Day - its a lot more heavy in tone and serious compared to most of the stuff in the playlist, but I put it here cuz it sort of feels like an anthem for just the general rank and file of either faction?? like idk if that makes sense, it just kinda fit the post-war "what are we gonna do now if there's no more fighting" kinda vibe

NOT ENTIRELY ALONE by The Narcissist Cookbook - found this through someone else's Scavs playlist and while it's not a song I'd regularly listen to (it's more of a grand monologue really), I really like it and it's literally about a bunch of supposed outcasts finding each other and sticking together amidst it all

For some character centric ones I've got:

Me and The Boys by the Living Tombstone - Krok!! This one's from In Sound Mind, beautiful fuckin game, it's a lot about therapy and mental health and stuff so damn that's fitting; not only that though, but this specific soundtrack is for a character in that game that's a veteran who experienced a lot of trauma and lost all his friends in the time of the war... so yeahhh

Make A Move by Icon For Hire - love rock, it makes up most of my playlists but maybe you couldn't tell from this; anyways I just feel like it encapsulated Spinister well in vibe and it sort of being like Spin waiting for others to make a move and choosing to just blend in the background or take a back seat from what's usually happening idk how else to explain it really ahaha

need to go real quick since im typing this late so im gonna speedrun the rest lol

Cheer Up by Big Reel Fish - It's literally Crankcase, thats literally HIS song, just take a listen to it!

Bubbly by Good Kid - something about the chorus ("I never sleep, I never eat; I never leave my house alone; another evening in between what I believe and what I know") is just very Fulcrum to me, combined with the vibes

United States of Whatever & Talk Too Much - both very Misfire core to me, Talk Too Much is obvious from the title lol even if the song is about something else entirely aha and United States of Whatever is just... sillyy in a Misfire-y way yknow?

For the rest I didn't mention specifically, they're all just kinda there for vibes and I had no specific thoughts about em lolz

#transformers #the scavengers #playlist #rambles

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viviennevermillion · 2 years ago

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Amusement Park Date

contains: character x gn!reader, modern au, a little bit of crack, a bit of making out w/ pantalone (nothing suggestive tho), scara still has his vision

characters included: kaveh, pantalone, wanderer

warnings: none

Kaveh

Believe it or not, Kaveh has actually been saving his money for this trip for months. Granted, Alhaitham had to remind him repeatedly that he'd been wanting to go there with you for ages and that he better get a grip if he wanted to make it a reality, but Kaveh eventually did it.

The date at the amusement park was actually a birthday gift for you (along with a painting that Kaveh drew, trying to portray his love for you with colors!) and he was so happy to see that you liked it! Though....Kaveh at times seemed actually more excited than you.

In the last two weeks before the trip you'd often get messages like "only 8 more days!!!" from Kaveh.

When the day is finally here, Kaveh wakes up at an ungodly hour in the morning and attempts to wake you up with his kisses. He'd press soft kisses to your temple and nuzzles your cheek gently. "Kaveh....love....just 10 more minutes", you mumble against his lips before kissing back sleepily and then burying your head in his chest. Kaveh will carry you out of bed if he has to.

He puts on a colorful shirt with a triangle pattern and a deep v-neck and wears a loose-fitting jacket over it. He adds a bunch of accessories, including big creole earrings, to his outfit and straight up looks like he's been hired to model at the amusement park.

Already takes a bunch of pictures with you on the way there. His favorite is the one where he's giving you a sweet kiss to the cheek.

He goes to the bathroom and leaves his phone on the train seat next to you and you happen to see a notification from Alhaitham texting "stop sending me couple pictures."

"I think I can see it!", he tells you excitedly during the last ten minutes of the train ride, trying to spot the amusement park in the distance.

Heartbroken over the fact that he has to wait in a line at the entrance. Spends the time listening to his new favorite playlist. He shares his headphones with you and gives you a kiss whenever there's a line in the song that reminds him of his love for you.

He adds the amusement park music to his playlist too. Whether they play pop songs or have special themes for their different rides, Kaveh wants to keep them in his memory.

He tells you that you can hold his hand in the haunted house if you're scared but he ends up being the one clinging to you.

Confused by the mirror labyrinth in the fun house. You're standing there snickering like: "Keep going Kaveh, you'll get there, I believe in you."

He gets a big cotton candy for both of you and then complains that his fingers feel sticky after eating from it.

If there's photo booths or those cardboard cutouts you can put your face in, he insists to do that with you. "Hey, y/n, did you know that Alhaitham blocked me?" "Did you try and send him this photo?" "....Maybe?"

Kaveh is super excited for the rollercoasters but the thing is that he's never actually been on a rollercoaster before so he's definitely one of the people who scream the whole time. After trying one with a loop once you have to sit down with him on the bench for like 20 minutes and he's never going on one that loops ever again.

He accidentally befriends a painter who offers to paint the amusement park visitors in exchange for some mora. Kaveh has a whole conversation with him about art, exchanges numbers with him with the promise to work on a collaborative project sometime and dude decides to draw a couple picture of the two of you for a reduced price because Kaveh was so appreciative and polite.

His favorite ride is the chairoplane and he wants to go on it multiple times and holds your hand throughout the ride, just appreciating the feeling of flying, along with the upbeat music and the bass from the speakers.

Probably starts a flash mob in the big square in front of the chairoplane on accident and then a bunch of people end up dancing together to a popular pop song. If you agree to dance with Kaveh, he'll be absolutely delighted, giving you his brightest smile everytime he looks at you.

He tries to win you a plushie or something else you like at a shooting booth or the claw machine but fails miserably and sulks about it.

Decides to get dinner with you at one of the food stalls and orders something for himself that's way too spicy for his tastes.

He tops the trip off with a boat ride on a beautiful swan lake once the sun is setting. He holds you close against his chest and sings you a song quietly, pressing a kiss to your forehead after he's finished. "I love you so much. I'm going to keep this day in my memory for a long, long time", Kaveh whispers softly and leans his head against yours.

When he gets out of the boat, he tries to feed one of the swans and the swan hisses at him. "Oh my god...", Kaveh gets startled as the swan slowly starts walking after him and hissing louder. Kaveh starts walking a bit faster and the swan starts running. "Y/n....y/n help", Kaveh sounds a little uneasy. "Hold on, I just gotta send this to Alhaitham", you snicker as you record a video of the swan charging after your boyfriend.

Pantalone

He actually owns the amusement park and he wanted to take you on this date to spoil you rotten and also subtly brag about his fortune so your job here is to be as much of a menace as you can be.

"No." Pantalone crosses his arms as he stares at your mischievous expression, as you're waiting for him to take his seat next to you on the water coaster. He clutches his expensive jacket tighter around him regretting the fact that he didn't see this coming and contemplating why he didn't just take you to a fancy restaurant instead. Because you knew they'd love it here...., he sighs and thinks to himself as you stare at him with your pleading eyes. "Pantalone~", you reach out your hand to him and oh god he's so weak for you. Regrets all his life choices when he gets into the coaster but still has to smile at your excited expression and the kiss you press to his cheek as a thanks for doing this with you.

The only reason he doesn't scream on the rollercoasters is that his anxiety for his reputation is bigger than his fear of the rollercoaster. Needless to say he ends up soaked on the water coaster and the camera takes a picture exactly when all the water splashes into his face. So you spend half an hour in a staff bathroom with Pantalone as he gets a hair dryer delivered there by the park staff and tries to dry off his clothes and fix his hair.

"Sorry....I thought it would be fun...", you start feeling guilty for wanting him to take the coaster ride with you. Pantalone's face softens and he presses a soft kiss to your lips multiple times. "It was", he reassures you and squeezes your hand. You help him dry his hair and then proceed with your trip.

"Hey, isn't that the head of surgery in that hospital you own?", you ask in confusion as you see the man dressed in the mad scientist costume in the haunted house. Pantalone greets Dottore briefly. "Doesn't he make a whole lot of money already? Why does he work part-time at the haunted house?", you whisper to Pantalone once you've passed Dottore by. "Oh he doesn't work here", Pantalone chuckles, "this is more of a hobby of his. He's doubled their revenue ever since he started coming here so they let him in and out as he pleases."

You hear a kid sobbing behind you as you get out of the haunted house, his mother patting his hand gently. "Don't worry Timmie, the mad scientist isn't actually real, it's just a costume", she explains softly and little Timmie picks up a pigeon from the street and holds it for comfort. "Oh dear", Pantalone chuckles and reaches for your hand.

You have to stop Pantalone from buying out the entire souvenir shop for you.

He also questions all his life choices when you go on the spinning tea cup ride and you spin that thing so fast that Pantalone is clinging onto the seat belt for dear life

He asks you to go on the tunnel of love ride with you next and you agree.

"Pantalone....is it just me or is this ride going way slower than it's supposed to?", you raise your eyebrow at the innocent smile he gives you, "also why are we the only people in the boat?" "Don't worry about it", Pantalone keeps smiling at you and kisses your lips gently but passionately. He holds the back of your head and pours so much love into his kiss that for a while the only thing you could focus on was his overwhelming amount of affection, the way he squeezed your hand and the way he started trailing kisses down your neck. Your tone becomes serious. "Pantalone did you block the other people from the ride and reduce the tempo by 75%-", he cuts your words off by pressing his lips to yours again, undoing your seat belt and pulling you onto his lap. He wraps his arms around your waist and presses several kisses on the spot just below your ear. "I love you", he whispers and holds your face in his hands, looking at you like you're the most valuable treasure in his whole life. "I swear to god if I fall out of this boat- the sign says 'keep the seat belts on'", you mumble. Pantalone just smiles against your lips before giving you another deep kiss. "This thing is going at a speed slower than we walk, you're not going to fall out of the boat, love", he pulls you close to him and hugs you, "just relax...."

So you melt into his embrace and you had to admit that for all the schemes he's pulling, it actually felt nice to take some time off from people for a while after being surrounded by families with children and loud park noises all days. So you let Pantalone kiss you for as long as he pleased, enjoying the taste of his lips and how soft they felt against yours. His lips still tasted like the peach lip balm he put on after the water coaster. His fingertips draw circles onto your back and you bury your hands in his soft hair. Pantalone smiles into the kiss. You knew how much he loved when you played with his hair. Pantalone rests his head against your chest and closes his eyes, just letting you pamper him for a while.

"You know, I feel like we've been in there for 20 minutes", you mumble as you get out of the ride. You glance over to the entrance to see a long line of angry people, some chanting "let us in!"

"Oh my god what have you done?", you look at Pantalone who just chuckles, winks at you and wraps an arm around your shoulder. "You've been complicit in it."

Once the park closed up, Pantalone guides you to the biggest square in the park as you watch a hundred of beautiful lanterns rise into the sky. You try not to think about for how long the staff members had to work extra hours just so Pantalone could spoil you. "A dance?", he asks you softly and holds his hand out to you. You dance with him to the slow music underneath the lights, marveling at their beauty while Pantalone can't stop staring at your face instead. He could have a show of lights everyday if he wanted to. Few things he could gift you were anything extraordinary for him, but you were the most special person in his life and he still couldn't believe he was blessed with your love every day.

He gestures for you to wait a second as he disappears behind a booth and comes back with a bouquet. "Y/n.....I love you more than I could possibly put into words. Please accept this bouquet of diamond roses as a token of my love. They'll never wilt and they're everlasting just like my love", he takes your hand in his and presses a soft kiss to it. "How are you not broke yet?", you sigh and give him a tight hug. "Do you not like them?", he asks, worry lacing his voice. "I love them", you look up at the night sky again, holding your bouquet and Pantalone wraps his arms around you from behind as you both watch the lights rise into the night sky, "I love you."

Wanderer

Kicks this trip off with saying "I aspire to be that childless couple cranky 30+ year old parents get mad at solely for being at the amusement park" and that is the general vibe of the entire day.

He doesn't feel like standing in the waiting line at the entrance so he tells you to hold onto him and just uses his anemo powers to fly to a spot straight at the ticket booth.

One of the park employees dressed in amusement park merch greets you with a friendly smile. "Welcome to Primoland - here you can find everything you wish for", he says and Scara replies dryly. "Even my sanity?" "Scara- Two tickets please." The man at the ticket booth looks at you two with a questioning expression but hands out the tickets, probably glad to see you move on.

He's mostly silent on the rollercoasters since they don't bother him much nor are they that much fun to him, so he usually sits there with a straight face. Except if you scream or cling onto him because you're scared. Then he makes fun of you.

You don't know how but you take your eyes off him in the haunted house for 3 minutes and he scares the crap out of at least 5 children.

He wins you the biggest teddy bear at the shooting booth, popping the balloons with his anemo powers. "So you don't complain that I didn't get you anything or something like that", he mumbles and hands it to you. "Hey! I wanted that bear", a small kid next to him pouts and Scara sticks out his tongue to the little girl. "Scara, please, you're an adult-", you facepalm. The girl's mother snaps at him that her daughter wanted that teddy bear and that he shouldn't be such a spoilsport and let the child have some joy. "I really didn't expect to meet such entitled adults when coming here with my family today", she shakes her head and puts her hands on her hips in disappointment. "And I didn't expect to meet a slightly more boring version of Ebenezer Scrooge and yet here we are", Scara retorts and you pull him away by his arm.

Please stop him from picking fights with random visitors.

He wants to get you a popsicle at the shop near the entrance and there's a couple in front of him with their cart packed full of candy, about 50 Primoland socks, matching t-shirts and all kinds of toys. Scara looks grumpier by the second as they seem to take half an eternity to pay for their stuff. The man turns around to him and gives him an apologetic look. "We have 7 children", he explains. "I can see that", Scara replies dryly. Your popsicle is already half-molten when he comes out of the shop. "We can drink that with a straw at this point", Scara mumbles.

You take a photo of him holding a big cotton candy and comment on how cute he looks and he just looks super annoyed on the picture which may or may not be due to the fact that he's blushing quite a bit.

You go on the ferris wheel with him, expecting to have a nice and relaxing ride with him, perhaps cuddling a bit but Scara stands up and starts making the gondola shake a lot from the inside. You grab him by the waist and pull him onto your lap, holding him in place. "Sometimes I feel like it's a bad idea to take you anywhere ever", you sigh and bury your face in his shoulder, gently kissing his neck once in a while to make sure he stays still and stops trying to tease you.

The bumper car ride is his absolute favorite. He drives like a madman and manages to use his abilities to make the car go faster than intended, ramming into everything in his path. He wants to go several rounds and two boys ask him what they have done to upset him. "Scara, we're trying to have fun here not cause someone a concussion....", you joke. "Maybe that is my way of having fun", he teases and sticks out his tongue to you. So you meet it with yours and pull him into a kiss, his eyes widening but he melts into your embrace immediately. He's like this cat:

author's note: planned to post this on wednesday but then I got something in my eye and couldn't open it anymore so I wrote kaveh's part with one hand and a shirt tied around my left eye.

#genshin impact #kaveh x reader #pantalone x reader #wanderer x reader #yaepublishinghouse #scaramouche x reader #kaveh x you #pantalone x you #scaramouche x you #wanderer x you #genshin impact headcanons #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader

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cnroth · 1 month ago

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Fanfic Q&A

I was tagged a long time ago by @curator-on-ao3 and meant to do this later when I had time, but then I forgot. More recently, I was tagged by @strkamand, which has prompted me to actually do it this time haha. So thank you both!! 🩵 😘

1. Why do you write fanfic?

Short answer: Cuz it’s fun!

Long answer: I started writing fanfic in 2016 because I had spent the last year and a half clawing my way back to some semblance of sanity after a really shitty time in my life. We got Netflix for the first time and I found my favorite childhood show—Star Trek: Voyager. It was like a warm blanket in the cold.

I still remember playing Star Trek on the playground with school friends, inventing stories of ourselves as original characters on Voyager, and suddenly I had the thought—what if I actually did it? Made an OC that was actually complex and fleshed out and stirred her into the mix? Added more representation of mental health issues to the show? I also applied for grad school around this time with the goal of eventually working in the mental health field.

So I dusted off my old creative writing skills and began making fanfic as a way to share my ideas with other fans, explore ships and characters I thought were interesting and/or underdeveloped, or just enjoy playing with my favorite dolls while processing my own experiences, as well.

And here I am now, eight years later, still doing just that.

2. Which of your posted stories do you think about the most, even though the story is “finished”?

This is a complicated question, because the answer is and has always been the very first story I joined the fandom to share, and one that took me years to tell—the Far From Their Bones series. Technically, it is finished.

That being said, I may-or-may-not currently be working on something closely related to that… 👀

3. If you could give yourself fic advice from when you first started writing fic, what would that advice be?

I honestly can’t think of anything I’d say. I think that my fanfic journey, bumpy as it may have been, was what I needed to go through to become the writer I am today.

4. What’s your relationship to fic stats?

I rarely check them. Honestly, I post so rarely and a fair amount of my stuff is niche stories few people are interested in reading, my stats are probably shit anyway.

5. Is there a pairing or scenario or friendship you miss writing? If so, why? If not, why not?

The closest thing to an answer for this question is I suppose J/C. I used to be fairly prolific in that ship, but the community for that ship was eventually taken over by a few toxic people who manipulated other participants (especially newer ones) into a very narrow idea of what was acceptable as a J/C fan and shit-talked people who fell outside of that, and I ended up deeply burned. It took out my ability to read or write J/C for a long time. I’ve dipped my toe back in here and there since then, and I won’t say I’m done with that ship forever, but it definitely was a major pain having to grieve the loss of a ship that had brought me so much joy.

6. What motivates you to write?

Usually random story ideas that pop into my head when I’m trying to fall asleep at night.

Also, comments can sometimes prompt me to write more.

7. Why do you write for the fandom(s) that you write for?

I think that’s mostly explained above already. Someday, I might finally write the Hunger Games fic I’ve had in my head for many years, as that series of books/movies was also instrumental in my trauma recovery, but for now Star Trek: Voyager (and occasionally other Trek shows) is where I’m comfortable and inspired.

8. If you’re stuck writing a WIP, what do you do?

There are two strategies I use most often to deal with this:

One, making playlists of songs that fit the story in some way, whether through the lyrics or even just the vibe. Then I listen to that on repeat to help drive me into my other strategy, which is…

Two, I use imagery to develop compelling scenes in my head, mentally watching them and shaping them until I feel like I can write them down—even if they’re incomplete. In the end, I may end up dumping the scene, or changing it, or writing the most inspiring scenes first and filling in the gaps between them later, but ultimately the goal is just to get myself moving again.

9. What do you wish people knew about comments?

Comments prompt my brain to make more dopamine and serotonin. As a mentally ill person with a neurodivergent brain, that is HUGE.

I do my best remind myself that I’m writing fic I want to read, and that can often mean not many other people will want it like I do (or have the time to actually read it), but in the end getting comments lets me know I’m not alone and that my exhaustive efforts in creating fic are appreciated.

It’s also just like fucking Christmas morning when I see that email from AO3. Like, massive mood booster.

I also would like people to know that comments have, more than once, given me ideas and/or energy to write more.

10. Maybe there’s a question you wish had been on here. What’s that question (and answer)?

Not that I can think of 😊

I have no idea who has already done this, and most people I know who write have been tagged by the ladies who tagged me. If you have already done this, tag me in a comment on your post or something so I can read it!

And if you haven’t done this yet, consider yourself tagged!!

Let’s see ummmm @gijane-7702 @seema-unbound @cheile @caladeniablue @theredheadedcaptain @70thousandlightyearsfromhome anyone else who wants to join 🩵

#fic q&a #star trek voyager #fanfic writing

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bologna-whale · 7 months ago

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The brain rot is real, here are Kendrick Lamar songs that I think Dragon Age Characters (mainly DA:O tbh) would bump at max volume and why:

PRIDE - Solas (obviously, I mean common it’s in the name). Not just the opening line of “Loves Gonna get you killed but pride is gonna to be the death of you and you and me.” But there are some lines that stick out. “In another life I was surely there; Me I wasn’t taught to share, but care; I care, I care; maybe I wasn’t there (x4)” - the self awareness of the song, the regret, the themes of resentment and mentions of broken promises. Great addition to any Solas playlist especially for freaks like me who romanced the egg. “I wouldn’t blame you for the mistakes I made or the bed I laid” also stands out lyrically.

Father Time - Morrigan (hear me out, ignore gender for a second) and Alistair as well. This is one of two songs that make me think of him so I won’t talk about him to much, just know the line “My Life is a Plot, twisted from directions I cannot see” fits both of them SO WELL. For her, I can’t help but replace Kendricks father in this song with Flemmeth. The themes of expectations placed on someone by the parent of the same gender is a tale as old as time, both Morrigans story and this song highlight this beautifully. Kendrick mentioning his father calling him weak for crying, dedicating oneself to work (or duty) instead of healing, yourself, and family, all make me think of her and make me want to hug her. Also the lyrics: “What’s the difference when your heart is made of stone; and your mind is made of gold; and your tongue is made of sword, but I may weaken your soul?” Chefs Mother fucking kiss

Count Me Out - Alistair, and arguably the warden and other protags (they’re getting two songs here so I’m going to focus on Alistair but know these apply to them too). This is def a post DAO song for him though. Especially if you romanced him, even more so if your ass is dead. A song about righting wrongs, trying better and forgive oneself, facing regrets, how love for the woman in his life is part of wanting to change. One of many songs on this list where I could go line for line, but I think that’s because this is one of my favorite Kendrick songs and one of my fave characters. “I love when you count me out” is such a lyric for any character in general. Here are some other stand outs since this song is why I’m making this post to begin with: “I care too much, wanna share too much; in my head too much, I shut down too” - “This time I trust myself; please everybody else but myself; All else fails I was myself; out done fear outdone myself” - “You made me worry; I wanted my best version but you ignored me; then changed the story” - and finally “Somethings I can’t forget; Lord knows I tried my best; you said it’s not my best; I came up out my flesh; somethings I must confess; spoke my truth, paid my debt; Can’t you see I’m a wreck; Let me loose I digress; This is me and I’m blessed (x4); Anybody else fighting through the stress?” ❤️

United in Grief - The protags, but especially Warden and Hawke. I didn’t play 2 but have seen a lot of content with it, so I won’t speak to much on that end. I just feel it would fit from what I have seen. But the warden??? The line “I grieve different” is reaching a part of their soul otherwise untouchable. Especially Cousland and City Elf origins imo. Also how the song is half bragging and half self criticism? The wee of throwing yourself into work to ignore the pain you’re in? Chefs kiss. Very good protagonist song i general, even outside of dragon age.

Crown - Another protagonist song, for no particular reason I really think do the inquisitor with this one. The mentions of control and responsibility, the age old notion that heavy is the head that wears the crown. Most notably the repeating line of “I can’t please everybody.” There’s also the opening “You walk around like everything is in control; favors come with favors, you can’t say no” I quite literally RPGs in a nut shell LMAO

Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe - Lelianna all day. I think she would resonate with the repetition “I am a sinner; Who’s probably going to sin again; Lord forgive me (x2); Things I don’t Understand; Sometimes I need to be Alone;” Also, mentions of change due to fame/power, of how some contemporaries feel soulless, making mistakes and wearing one’s heart on their sleeve. Lyrically and sonically this song is so beautiful, and has always made me think of her since I heard it during one of my replays. Also, bitch please don’t kill her vibe thanks.

Mother I Sober - Cullen. For one the mentions of faith. Easy way to relate to him. But also, this songs story of how Kendrick’s mothers trauma led to false accusations against a family member, how Kendrick was used as pawn in those accusations, how this continued to haunt him into adulthood, I could see this really resonating with a character like him. A song about generational trauma for a man who’s trauma has deeply effected him in catastrophic ways, cussing him to hurt others. I could see him relating to the lines “I wish I was somebody, anybody but myself” to a heart breaking degree.

m.A.A.d City - Zeveran. I know for a fact he’s actually going ape shit to this song. I mean I think everyone would be but especially him. He knows all the lyrics. He’s freaking his shit every time at the “Yawk, Yawk, Yawk, Yawk!” Part in the opening verse and I know the opening line hooked him instantly. “If Pirus and Crips all got along; they’d probably gun me down by the end of the song,” You’re telling me this doesn’t make you think of the Crows? Wild. Also dumb head cannon, Zeveran would introduce Kendrick to Alistair, Alistair would then become the biggest surprise fan of Kendrick in all of Theda’s if they had Spotify. This is a more silly one but I gotta show love to Zeveran.

#dragon age #dragon age origins #da:o #dragon age inquisition #da:i #solas #alistair theirin #morrigan #cullen rutherford #leliana #hero of ferelden #dragon age veilguard #zevran arainai

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rise-my-angel · 29 days ago

Note

The playlist is here! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/49BnRRrThpq6t0MeJ7RdUv?si=22DEbs6nSTmWEP3Qoavu9w&pi=u-Trx7yQKbRoKN

It’s been in the works since I started reading the HOTGW series, and I think I’ll probably keep adding songs. But I wanted to share it with you before it becomes even bigger. Music plays a huge role in how I interpret a book. It helps me fully immerse myself in the story. I only make playlists for series that I really like—and that are long enough to deserve one

The playlist is arranged in a way that tells the story. I tried to capture the feelings and create a loose timeline. Of course, if I went part by part, the playlist would probably be a week long lmao. I’m not sure if you like instrumental music, but I love soundtracks, so most of it is about two hours of instrumental “backroads” music, with about 30 minutes of songs that have lyrics.

I arranged it to match my musical taste and what felt right while I was reading. There are also songs I added because of TikTok edits I came across. Shoutout to those edits—they’re beautiful and had me thinking for days! Not all of them are Game of Thrones related (some are from HOTD) but sometimes I find parallels between the women in the shows and Reader in the series—though only in some aspects because season 2 of HOTD was a mess. I'm putting the links of the edits at the end.

Also, I’m a big fan of The Last of Us and the themes of family, revenge, and regret are so intertwined that I often associate GOT and TLOU together. I see a lot of parallels between their stories, which is why the playlist reflects both influences.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMhwBWnNx/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMhwBnNcs/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMhwSJony/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMhwSaKdt/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMhwSQnYc/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMhwSxcrg/

THIS ONE SPECIFICALLY UGGHH it crushes my heart i love it https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMhwShLSv/

It's insane how much time i take on this type of stuff but i have no regrets, hope you like it mimi, love you!

Okay I’m writing this as I’m making my way through it, so excuse how scattered it might end up sounding.

So far, I love it! I’ve been trying to guess where and what each song so far is describing or representing and I think I have it down what you have in mind. I was wondering if I had the timeline right, but right when I second guessed myself with King by Florence & The Machine, but then right after Victory Does Not Make us Conquerers came on and I was like “Yes I was so on point!” then you hit me with the whammy of Greiving coming after which nearly made me tear up, then King in the North just hitting me with perfect combinations.

Then you took me for suprise by including right after, When The Sun Rises In The West. I hadn’t considered that being included, because I think its easy to just chalk it up to Daenerys’s theme but in that exact spot it works so well. It captures a lot of the mystical stuff going on in multiple povs, and too being part of Dany’s track it also fits so well because its both of them, reader and Dany already being paralleling type characters, becoming their respective Queens at the same time but the circumstances contrast as much as their stories also connect, and its the introduction to readers more magically tied story line which begins around there too. Either way, so far, I am absolutely loving every second of this!

Okay I have no one to blame but myself, but the Rains of Castamere caught me so off guard that I physically stopped on the sidewalk in a moment of shock. I was so immersed in the music before that was so beautifully Robb and Reader that I forgot what was coming. And the music after has been hit after hit to my heart. I’ve been having fun trying to see what I think the music connects to, and how it might differ to what you thought of but not a single song so far has missed they are all perfect.

I just love all of this so far, I literally am taking pauses in writing this afternoon just to go for a walk to listen to more of this, I am genuinely in love with this playlist. Also I really like that you captured the tragedy and pain in post Red Wedding as opposed to the horror. That my intention wasn’t to be shocking and horrific, but the pain wanted to be the focus and I love that thats what you picked music to focus on, it makes me feel like I did something right in that section of the story that my intentions were picked up on.

Also just fyi I want to release soon my Robb and Reader flashback bonus chapter, because their section just gave me that itch for their marriage again. I love Jon and Reader, but there was something so pure about her and Robb that we’ll never get back.

I have no idea how accurate I am, but The Night We Met feels like a song for The Winter Rose chapter. The mourning at the beach for Robb and little Ned, but a hopeful romantic tinge of a love with Jon to walk towards too. It just feels like such a perfect song to blend the two romance’s together without putting any emphasis on either as more important.

Okay, so I just finished it. I know this all sounds like ramblings that make no sense but I was writing my reactions as I listened throughout the day since it was a lot to take in.

I love the differences between the two eras you can hear. How Robb and Reader is more sweet and romantic, then after everything in between when you get finally to Jon and Reader, its more beautiful but melancholy and sorrowful. There’s a pureness in the first and a pain in the second that is so different from each other. How you can hear the transition of the story in tone as it goes along.

With Love Song at the end being a perfect fit, just describing the whole story’s main theme at its core is love and how it can be applied to any of the relationships in it no matter what, love is the biggest throughline.

I love the edits too, I rarely listen to things that give me a chance to think of hotgw in edit form since im always listening to music in outline or scene planning mode, so to step back and get to imagine it in a different way was actuallly a lot of fun.

You really nailed it with associating my series with TLOU, it wasn’t intentional, but that story has so much influence on how I approach personal stories. It relates to something Grrm said once, that most fantasy stories approach things from a moral good and evil, but he prefers to tackle the sense of self within the human heart and what that means for the individual. And thats what TLOU does well, it takes all these elements that could paint a black and white story but is told in shades of grey and that I feel like carried over a lot to my work. So I’m so glad that it resonates with you in the way that it was an influence for the story itself and how I approached it.

Uh basically, this is amazing and I cant beleive you put this much time and effort into putting this together and I genuinly dont even know what to say so I hope this all sort of says in way too many words how awesome this was.

Anyone who likes story playlist music stuff and likes hotgw, listen to this, its long but totally worth the time.

#i hope my ramblings did it justice this was such a treat to experiance today

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guillemelgat · 2 years ago

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Hey hello I made a thing! As perhaps a few of you know, I have spent the last half a year being completely unhinged about Patrick O’Brian’s Aubrey-Maturin books, and I’ve always been particularly interested in the character Stephen Maturin and his relationship to Catalonia. I saw that there was a lack of stuff about this part of his identity, and, being me, I felt the need to fill it in the only way I could: compiling music and yelling about it for thirty pages. Hence this playlist.

You really don’t need to know anything about these books to listen to this playlist. You also don’t need to know anything about Catalan (I hope). Catalonia and the Catalan Countries in general (including Valencia, the Balearic Islands, and parts of southern France, Aragon, and Sardinia) have a really interesting musical and literary tradition, and I wanted to make that more accessible, so I put together a few songs I liked, translated them, and wrote a bit about each of their significance, including the most important cultural tidbits I could. Some things don’t translate super well, and I hope my Catalan followers will forgive me for trying to adapt them more for English-speaking audiences than perhaps would be preferable; I usually don’t choose to do that, but in this case I wanted to open the door, and not to intimidate people.

Now that that’s out of the way, here is a link to the PDF of the liner notes (graphic design is my passion, as they say): https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MUpRM84W8aypznEIrt0eA1jG5OxaRZvz/view?usp=sharing

Under the cut I’ve included the ephimera and unnecessary commentary that you know and love, feel free to read or ignore it as you will

These roughly follow the order of the songs and are varying levels of seriousness

If you like "Sant Joan, feu-lo ben gran" then I'd highly recommend listening to the whole Tornaveus album. I almost included the “Stabat Mater de Sudanell” and the “Goigs de Sant Julià de Lòria”, which are both from western Catalonia, and they also have more cançons de pandero, in perhaps a slightly more traditional style. A lot of the other songs have interesting cultural commentary in them, especially on feminist topics, and they’re very well-researched because literally one of the members of the group is basically the ethnomusicologist of Catalan music at the moment. Anyways, if people would like the liner notes perhaps next time I’m home I’ll scan them, they’re in Catalan and English and very well-written. Also note the legendary Lluís Llach song which has been turned into a polyphonic piece lol (and I did not include the “Goigs de la Nostra Senyora de la Llibertat” but tbh that might have been a mistake on my part) (Blorbo side note that I think this fits Stephen’s childhood very well which is mostly why I chose it)

“L’Hereu Riera” is one of my favorite Catalan folk songs I love it so much and if you want to hear the Catalan version (as opposed to the Valencian one included here) and see the dance and also see a cobla, I am including a link to this version by Germà Negre which is tragically not on Spotify. I chose the Valencian one because (1) Al Tall and (2) I think it fits The Blorbo better (specifically I was thinking of his fiancée who dies before Book One who idk if anyone ever remembers shdjfhskf). That being said, Stephen would probably know the Catalan one (and almost certainly not the Valencian one). Also, on a memey-er note, Hereu Riera bisexual king and literal icon <3 love how he has to remind his girlfriend on her deathbed that actually he'd technically be interested in both her sisters AND her brothers if he wasn't so into her that he never wanted to marry anyone else

I literally did put in Roger Mas just so there would be at least one person with a Lleidan accent, #diversity win

Many points about the “Cançó de pandero de l’Urgell” and “Jo no canto per la veu” so here we go:

I put these two songs in mostly because I got very obsessed with the cançó de pandero from Alcarràs (which is a great movie that came out last year about a farming family in a village near Lleida that is winning all the awards atm). Anyways, since Carla Simón has been too busy winning things to put up the gotdam soundtrack, I did a bit of digging and it turns out that it was written for the movie?? By her brother??? It's excellent and very anticapitalist and you can listen to it here and see the trailer for Alcarràs all in one! (Includes English subtitles)

The original “Canto per un amic meu que per mi daria la vida” is probably from a Valencian cant de batre, although I could not get any confirmation on that. But regardless everyone should listen to Pep Botifarra's version of it, which I would literally marry if it had a physical form it’s so so good. (I posted it here back in ye olden days but it's been long enough I think I can post it again)

Valencian music side note because I can’t stop myself: the second pair of verses in the "Cançó de pandero de l'Urgell" (starting with “vos esteu ben acotxada…”) are sung by Miquel Gil, who is a very famous Valencian traditional singer, anyways you should listen to this version of him singing “Del Sud” by Obrint Pas (you want to go down a Valencian music rabbit hole so so bad)

I firmly believe that Stephen would canonically be obsessed with Ausiàs March, and the fact that he has not yet recited any of his poems is Patrick O’Brian’s biggest failing in my eyes. Anyways I have more thoughts but I’m saving them for other posts shdfjsd

If you read this before listening to the playlist please just listen to "El testament d'Amèlia" and follow along with the lyrics in real time before reading the blurb, it's such a good experience to let that song hit you as it comes. I won't say more than that but you'll get it when you get it. (Also obligatory listen to Marala they're so good <3)

From the Càntut album, I also quite like the songs "El pomeró" and "El divino vull cantar", and Càntut in general is an incredible resource, it's a database of folk song field recordings from northeastern Catalonia.

Brief pause to scream about the fact that Maria Arnal and Marcel Bagés WERE ON NPR??? AND NO ONE TOLD ME???? Anyways link in the sources section, also they're great and you should listen to their whole discography

As the #1 Roba Estesa stan blog on Tumblr, listen to Roba Estesa. And Ebri Knight. And El Diluvi.

I chose this version of "La presó de Lleida" because I like it but here's a more traditional one sung by Joan Manel Serrat, another Catalan legend. Here's another one in Catalan rumba style with Sílvia Pérez Cruz singing, the sound is a bit wonky but it's also one of my favorites. The Valencian version of this song is called "La presó de Tibi" and El Diluvi have done a very explicitly anti-monarchical rendition of it (the Balearic one is "La presó de Nàpols").

I'm sorry for never putting the Sílvia Pérez Cruz version of "Corrandes d'exili" but if you want it here it is. Also note that the statue of the Virgin in the poem is a reference to the Virgin of Montserrat, it literally all goes back to her shfjkshdf (also apologies for being very bad at Christianity and Catholicism, if I mistranslated things let me know)

HOO BOY SARDANA TIME

Okay so I have a whole essay to deliver on this that I've been holding inside for the past like two months or so, I apologize in advance for my excessive pedantry on the topic.

In Master and Commander, Stephen delivers this speech:

"‘Then I must tell you that on Sunday mornings it is the custom, in that country, for people of all ages and conditions to dance, on coming out of church: so I was dancing with Ramon Mateu i Cadafalch in the square before the cathedral church of Tarragona, where I had gone to hear the Palestrina Missa Brevis. The dance is a particular dance, a round called the sardana.’"

I hate to be a hater but it is very, very unlikely that anyone would have been dancing a sardana as far south as Tarragona in this time period. The sardana as the symbol of equality and brotherhood emerged in the Renaixença and would not yet have been a thing; Stephen could well have heard sardanas in Ullastret, but they would have been a more typical folk dance, and not anything like the way they're described in the book. It's very ironic, then, that they've become THE Catalan music style for Aubreyad readers, but hopefully this playlist can change that a bit :)

(also sorry for being a sardana-hater on main, someone bring me to dance a sardana and maybe I'll feel better)

Songs that didn't make the cut: La cançó del lladre, Rossinyol que vas a França, La balanguera, La gavina - I'm always happy for more recs!

Originally, this list was also going to include songs in Irish; I quickly realized that I was in over my head with that one, but the working list of songs is here (may be subject to changes so save songs elsewhere if you like them!). Also I would add "Fé Bhláth" by Imelda May and Kíla if it was on Spotify but alas it is not; and "Amhrán na Leabhar" which I have not had time to add but was kindly recommended by someone. I'd love it if someone was interested in actually doing a proper playlist for Irish though—it's a gap in my knowledge that I'd love to start filling.

Aaaaaaand that's a wrap. I hope. Final comment to say thank you to everyone who voted in the cover image poll, turns out you all won :) (Pirineus did win and take the cover of the liner notes though)

#my masterpiece is done i have peaked i'm retiring now #jkjk but i've been working on this since like. november #so it is kind of insane that's it's finally done #please notify me of any mistakes or corrections <3 #and hopefully this is enjoyable for you all!#it's a little funky at times but i think it works???#it's not really a playlist. it's more like one of those weird compilation albums that i definitely didn't consume too many of as a child #did kind of want this to show up in the aubreyad tag but i wanted links more so rip :// anyways here goes nothing #aubreyad #catalan #catalan:general #catalan:music #catalan:reference #catalan:culture #general:music #general:reference #general:culture #there'd better not be any typos or i'm fighting someone

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