#crowley analysis

[queenofthearchipelago]

I genuinely think that Crowley's apology dance was to apologize for the fact that the last thing he said before he stormed out on Aziraphale was "You're on your own this time."

That's the only thing that Crowley said that was too far. Everything else was perfectly reasonable and true. But he said he'd leave Aziraphale alone when they were supposed to be on their own side. I literally gasped when he said it when I watched the episode for the first time. I knew he'd need to apologize for that, I just didn't know what apologies between them looked like yet.

And, bonus info, Neil Gaiman has a quote about how he "doesn't know what love means. I think it means 'don't leave me here alone'". And that's what Crowley did. He said it, and for a few hours he did it. And I think for that he was, actually, very sorry.

[atlas-hope]

A LITERAL SHOWER THOUGHT I HAD

As I was taking a shower, my mind drifted towards Good Omens (as it tends to do these days).

It specifically drifted towards this image of Crowley leaning against heaven's elevator:

I know Neil Gaiman rarely ever does anything without a reason. So why is Crowley posed similarly to Jesus on the cross? How is Crowley similar to Jesus in any way?

Then it hit me.

Well, what did Jesus do in his lifetime? He challenged the existing religious thought patterns at the time, and common opinions gradually changed.

-> While our ineffable duo was following bodysnatcher Elspeth, Aziraphale was spouting heavenly propaganda. Crowley expressed outrageous ridicule toward the angel's uncharitable attitude, and Aziraphale's opinion eventually changed.

Not only that!

God's wrath is often described as being a substance in a cup that one is forced to drink. Jesus, in the Garden of Gethsemane, begs God to "let this cup [of suffering] pass from [him]" (Matthew 26:39). Despite Jesus's pleading, he drinks from the figurative cup of God's wrath, absolving Christians of their sins.

-> When Elspeth was about to commit suicide via laudanum (in a goblet, no less!), Crowley took the cup from her and drank it himself, basically absolving Elspeth of the sin of killing herself.

It goes even further!

When Jesus finally finished drinking the cup of God's wrath, he died and presumably went to Hell.

-> What happened to Crowley when he was finished giving Elspeth hope for a new life? He got dragged down to Hell.

I may be stupid, but I think I'm onto something here!

[actual-changeling]

crowley loves so much and so deeply, and while there can probably be made an argument that parts of that love are entirely selfish, i think it's more than that.

he sees creation as a way of giving things live, be it stars and nebulas or humans or plants, they all exist and thus have a right to live. i think the thought of his nebulas and the entire universe being shut down after 6k years didn't just make him sad because of the effort he put into it. he sees it as a living, breathing creature that deserve to exist on its own terms.

that is why he asked questions, it certainly played a role in why he fell, and it also puts him right in the moral grey zone because there's no way of thinking that humans deserve free will without questioning the black/white moral system.

having to play his part as a demon is entire counterintuitive to who he is as a person, and it's imo the reason why he barely has relationships with humans (and if he does, they go deep). the constant loss would kill his soul and in a way it already has.

"what's the point" is him having reached a point of depression and an impatience that has morphed into bitter resignation.

look at him returning to the bentley after his fight with aziraphale in episode one. he isn't just upset, he is tired.

what's the point in loving and trying to save those that he loves when over and over again he is told that no, everyone else matters more than you. fixing this is more important than finding the peace we deserve. helping someone who literally tried to kill us matters more than our love for each other. the universe will be created and then destroyed for nothing, you are breathing live into empty spaces and none of it will matter. in the end, the logical conclusion he undoubtedly came to is that he does not matter either.

he tried to find a purpose for his existence in aziraphale and their arrangement, in trying to be kind and do good despite everything - and see where that landed him.

rejected and alone because compared to heaven, he is worthless, and well if that isn't a familiar feeling.

i think aziraphale in 1862 has picked up on that and he isn't wrong when he thinks it's a suicide pill.

season 3 is going to be very, very interesting because i don't think crowley will go down some kind of rage and revenge path, he will just fall deeper into his depression until it threatens to swallow him whole.

[scatterbrainedart]

I know I've literally talked about this before already but I need to do it again more in depth because I'm deeply ill. Anyhow.

Crowley was there at the creation of the universe. He was there as nebulae sprung into existence and time came to be. He slipped the switch of existence itself. And upon hearing how it all would shut down in just a few thousand years he was really upset. Because the universe was precious to him, and he wanted to see it flourish to its full potential.

Even then, Crowley wanted to fight for its right to exist. To be. He cared about the world to point of falling. He spent 6000 years on Earth, learning about and cherishing all it had to offer. The world is morally gray by default, and it's the only place in Crowley's existence that is. Therefore, it suits him, I think. Much more than either heaven or hell ever have or will, at least.

But, in the end of season 1, all of that was about to be lost. And what got him to act in order to salvage it? Aziraphale threatening to never talk to him ever again.

Let me say this again. The world was ending. The thing he cared enough about to had fallen for was all about to be destroyed forever. But the worst thing to Crowley in that moment, the highest stake and the worst possible loss, was the loss of Aziraphale's companionship. Not even "we will all die or stop existing and therefore won't be able to see each other anymore" but "I will just refuse to talk to you for the rest of time". That was the threat. And it worked. It raised the stakes. Stakes that were already about as high as they come, and quite awfully personal.

Crowley care more about Aziraphale than he cares about anything else. And Aziraphale knows that, otherwise he wouldn't have trusted that the threat would work. But he did. And it did.

Crowley is also desperately lonely. Just inherently so, in his very existence. There is no one else like him, in the way he's so gray in a world so black and white. I literally have a whole other post planned for that rant though, so I'll spare you it for now. But yeah, I'd imagine he has felt like the loneliest being in existence for the fast majority of it. His loneliness comes across a LOT, but it's most apparent in those moments of desperation. Where he is risking losing that one connection he managed to make. Like a last ditch effort kiss, harsh and unpleasant. It hurts to have it taken away, on such a deep level. Just like there is no one like Crowley, there is no one like Aziraphale. At least not to Crowley, not by a mile.

Crowley's desperation to keep Aziraphale in his life is not only because of his love for him, but also because of how if it's not Aziraphale, it's no one. And just like that scene where Aziraphale eats food for the first time and reacts as if he's just realized he's been starving his entire life, Crowley now knows what it's like to have someone by your side. To be a team, a pair. And he clings to that like the famished cling to their first and last warm meal.

[chaoticace2005]

Okay so with all this talk about how our idiotic angel and demon still can’t communicate- I figured I’d try my hand at breaking down some dialogue from their “divorce.” The biggest issue is the fact that both are saying things to try and be together, but the other is misinterpreting everything they’re saying. They essentially just threw what the other person was saying through google translate a dozen times and only heard what it spat out.

This is my interpretation of what the characters seemed to have been trying to say vs what the other heard. Feel free to comment if you have any differing ideas of interpretation! I’m running on like 3 hours of sleep.

A: Come with me, to heaven. I’ll run it, you can be my second in command. We can make a difference. (We can work together and then can create a world where we can be happy together.) (We can fix heaven, I can fix you.)

C: You can’t leave this bookshop. (You can’t leave me) (What about earth? What about all the earthly things you love here?)

A: Oh Crowley, nothing lasts forever. (It’s okay, it doesn’t matter as long as we can be together.) (We weren’t meant to last forever.) (this is from Crowley’s POV where he officially gets rejected)

C: No. No I suppose it doesn’t. Good luck. (I understand, you don’t want us to be together.)

(Crowley starts to leave) (it’s only at this point Aziraphale seems to realize that Crowley is turning him down)

A: “Good luck?” Crowley? Crowley come back! …to heaven. Work with me. We can be together. Angels! Doing good! I- I need you! I don’t think you understand what I’m offering you. (Where are you going?! Don’t go! We can save the world and be happy together.) (Come to heaven. We can be angels. You can become good. Once you’ve changed we can be together!)

C: I understand. I think I understand a whole lot better than you do. (You can’t change anything. Not the corrupt system and not me. They’re toying with you and you should be smarter than this. You shouldn’t WANT this.) (I don’t want to be with you. It’s too much work. I hate heaven too much to be with you.) (this is from Aziraphale’s POV where he officially gets rejected)

A: Well, then there’s nothing more to say. (I understand, you don’t want us to be together.) (Okay then, you can go. We’re done.)

C: Listen. Hear that?

A: I don’t hear anything.

C: That’s the point. No nightingales. You idiot. We could have been us. (Why am I not enough you? Why can’t you stay?) (You’re not enough for me. I won’t go.)

(Crowley kisses Aziraphale) (Please stay- at least understand I love you. If you’re going away this is my only chance.) (Goodbye, I’m not going with you so this is my only chance.)

A: I forgive you. (I forgive you for not wanting to come with me, you don’t want us to be together, I understand. Goodbye) (I still have to go. I forgive you for kissing me though, and for not wanting to go to heaven with me. You just aren’t enough for me.)

C: Don’t bother. (I’m not sorry for kissing you and I don’t want you to go. I’m never going to be an angel and that’s not going to change.) (No, I don’t forgive you. You aren’t enough for me. Goodbye.)

[aheavenofhell]

Something about Crowley’s savior complex.

Something about not feeding ducks bread.

Something about bringing a smothered dove back to life.

Something about throwing himself in front of a hoard of demons to protect a human.

Something about drinking the poison and walking on consecrated ground.

Something about “I won’t leave you on your own” and “I didn’t want to see you get into trouble” and “no” mouthed down the barrel of a rifle.

Something about the goats, the kids, the dove, Aziraphale.

Something about replaying the scenario over and over but changing the ending, so that the forsaken are given a second chance, so that the angel is rescued.

Something about that.

[doomedlemur]

Crowley does not have memory loss.

I very disagree with the Crowley has memory loss from the Fall theory, and I want to enumerate my points.

"He doesn't remember Furfur or Saraqael!" you say. Do you remember everyone you went to high school* with, everyone you ever did group projects with? *or elementary school if you're under 20 He probably worked with a lot of different angels on nebulae, and fought alongside a lot of different demons-to-be in the war. Look at the scene we saw with Aziraphale. You just know she wasn't paying attention to what Aziraphale said his name was and was going to have to ask when they met again. Angel!Crowley has got ADHD hyperfixations and the people around him aren't as interesting. Barely worth acknowledging. Meanwhile, he himself is quite memorable to others. (Not to mention highly-ranked in heaven's hierarchy.) What did Furfur say? "You used to jump on me back, little monkey in the waistcoat." Who's the more memorable being in that encounter? The (literal?) monkey hopping around jumping on people or whatever poor sod he's hopping on? As someone who stood out in school as a weirdo, I myself have more than once had someone hit me up on Facebook years later acting like we'd been friendly in school, and experienced that exact "??? Who are you?"

He remembers creating gravity. Vaguely, you say? Sure, but it was a long time ago. While all told Crowley and Aziraphale have excellent memories, they are not perfect. See them not able to recall who was responsible for the Reign of Terror only ~200 years ago.

"I helped make that nebula" he also recalls.

Crowley easily recognized the Metatron saying he'd last seen him as a floating head. As an angel with a lot of questions for God, he would have talked to the Metatron all the time before the Fall.

Reiterating above point, in Uz, they remember trying to get through to God to ask their questions.

He knows how to sneak into heaven and remembers his passwords.

He remembers going into battle.

He remembers frightening the cherubs with the threat of Extreme Sanctions.

In Eden, Aziraphale didn't know what name they were going by, so had to ask, but note that Crowley neither asked Aziraphale's name nor did Aziraphale introduce himself. "We've been talking for millions of years," he told Maggie and Nina. Perhaps he was being hyperbolic, but perhaps not. Before "the Beginning" when the Earth itself was created there was an untold amount of time where the angels were all getting things ready and then warring amongst themselves. I think it's clear that one scene we saw was not their only encounter before the Fall, and Crowley remembers his prior acquaintance with Aziraphale. Mightn't he have had some hesitation in approaching the Guardian of the Eastern Gate if he didn't already know him? But no, he slithers right up that wall and starts a conversation with a tone of familiarity.

Again, in Uz, they both acknowledge how they knew each other in heaven.

And finally, if you're thinking of Neil Gaiman saying how Crowley is an unreliable narrator regarding the circumstances of his Fall, everything he says that seems contradictory can be just as easily explained by lies, denial, rationalizations, equivocations, half-truths, etc. At no point does he say he doesn't remember falling or even why it happened. He just laments the injustice of it.

[aziraphaledefensesquad]

Perhaps semi-controversial opinion?

While the popular fanon here is Crowley didn’t realize he and aziraphale were so obvious, I propose:

Crowley has no frigging clue that his desire to hang out with aziraphale, wish to see aziraphale live to his potential, his admiration for aziraphale is a THING classified by humans as LOVE. Im also uncertain he knows aziraphale has been in love with him for eons in return, or if he just assumes it’s part of aziraphale’s unique love for all things. And not particularly pointed his way.

He seems far too blown away. He is still doing addition while aziraphale has been doing multipication. Aziraphale appears to have been gone for him since angel!crowley existed, notice me sempai style, and it just grew stronger. I propose aziraphale figured out there was subconscious reciprocation on crowley’s part in 1941 (from his own holy shit moment). From then on, particularly after s1 ends, he’s light years ahead. He’s already thinking of them as an ‘us’. It seems like he’s attempting to ease Crowley into the idea, to show Crowley it could be better. I bet he’s already bought the cottage property decades ago and it’s just there, waiting.

Crowley is mentally still thinking early S2 that living out of his car and hanging out with aziraphale and sussing out the gossip of hell is this amazing life Gabriel is interrupting. Like this is as good as it gets. His precious peaceful existence. It’s actually pretty meh compared to what aziraphale is angling toward, but it’s not even an option on crowley’s radar.

It seems What he knows is this: he grows content around aziraphale. Lets his guard down. Wants to guide him towards what he thinks is a better life. Is amused by him. Wants to take him places, bring him things, to see him happy and enjoying himself. Being around aziraphale feels good to Crowley. And yet! It is quite possible he has no clue that this is love. (And he loves his car too, but I also don’t think he recognizes it as that)He’s been jaded by life, by some human actions, by heaven, by hell. But things are nice in his car. Things are nice around aziraphale.

Nina basically just fishslapped Crowley with the idea that the Thing he’s been feeling is love. Holy shit? Love? What the heck? How could this be? Anxiety ensues. And clearly it’s throwing him off and is cemented in the final 15 because he already knows shit’s going down, so more anxiety, then to top it off, metatron pops in and stirs up anxiety with an added bonus of dread. No wonder he’s so emotional. He is so frazzled and confused and hurt and also likely stunned he is in love or that he even could love (some heavenly ptsd perhaps) and now the one he loves is making a decision that is just soooo entirely wrong and out of crowley’s realm of protection and possibly doing something either he or other fallen angels have tried in the past and were punished for.

I have so much love for Crowley and how utterly discombobulated he must be with this discovery. Which is why I really do think he didn’t know he loved aziraphale.

[pigeon-smidge]

✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

So for the past couple of months I’ve been pouring my heart and soul into an analysis masterpost of this playlist, a Crowley and Aziraphale playlist comprised purely of Taylor Swift songs. I had been curating this playlist for a little while over the latter half of last year, and around November or so I decided to write up an analysis for why I’ve included each song! Some are about a specific character, some about their relationship, and many are about both! Five-ish months and eighteen pages of analysis later, here we are. It’s been so awesome to combine probably my two biggest interests, and even if you’re not a swiftie, I encourage you to read some of this if you’d like to!! You might find some songs you really like the sound of. If you like it, please support :) I spent so long on this

The track list is as follows:

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Say Don’t Go

How You Get the Girl

You are in Love

Wildest Dreams

hoax

peace

mirrorball

Come Back … Be Here

The Very First Night

All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

The Archer

Death by a Thousand Cuts

Cruel Summer

tolerate it

champagne problems

ivy

Back to December

The Great War

Midnight Rain

Tied Together With A Smile

Don’t Blame Me

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

✩✩✩✩

Notes: song titles are in the same order as the track list. they're numbered and colour-coded by album (1989 and midnights share the same colour, as do folklore and rep because Tumblr has limited options) so it’s easier for people to find specific songs they want. They’re not in any particular meaningful order, just grouped by album. If you want to read specific song analysis, please scroll to that point, or open this post in its own window and do a page search (on mac it’s command+f , but I’m not sure about other operating systems.) Obligatory disclaimer that this is all my subjective analysis, both of Taylor’s songs and Crowley and Aziraphale’s characters. I am not making any assumptions about the creative intentions behind them, these are purely what they mean in my view. What I think is not necessarily what the creators intended. If you disagree with anything, that’s fine!! Just please don’t be rude about it. I’d love to hear what you have to say about it!! If you’ve got any thoughts or additions, please add them in a reply or reblog, and we can make it a discussion :D Check back in the future if you want, because I might be adding more depending on if I have some new ideas! ✩✩✩✩

Alright, with that stuff said, here we are!! Grab a snack and get cozy if you want, this is a long one. You can read as much or as little as you want!! I hope you enjoy :)

✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Title is self-explanatory. However it fits both perspectives; Crowley begging Aziraphale to stay with him and to not leave for Heaven, and Aziraphale begging Crowley to stay with him. They both view the other as being opposed to their own plight because their failure to communicate leads to misunderstandings. Specifically the choruses are most relevant. The verses don’t really feel like they fit; they’re very, very angry and bitter, and describe a relationship that the narrator has pretty much moved on from (‘and people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye’ & ‘now you say you want it back, now that it’s just too late’ to name a few lyrics). I don’t think this is accurate to them as I don’t think they’re going to be able to move on in this way. I also don’t think they’re this angry with each other. The narrator, in the verses specifically, describes their partner in a very reductive way. ‘People like you [..]’ etc, is a very insulting way of talking. Not that either party isn’t upset with the other; I think they’re both very confused and hurt. But I don’t think they’re at the stage where they can be this vitriolic. Partially due to character reasons, and also because obviously the story isn’t going to end with them in the exact positions they’re in now (otherwise there wouldn’t be a third season and the show would be very unsatisfactory). They’re upset, but they’re resigned and bitter, as opposed to outwardly aggressive about the other. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘You were all I wanted, but not like this’ Because Crowley wants Aziraphale but only if they can stay the same, not both angels in Heaven.  ‘Had me in the palm of your hand, why’d you have to go and lock me out when I let you in?’ Because Crowley poured his heart out and from his perspective Aziraphale didn’t think him enough to leave Heaven behind for. 2. Say Don’t Go

This is THE Aziracrow song. I had a 1989 (Taylor’s Version) listening party with my friends and when this played I went WAIT … especially the second verse and the bridge. The entire song is about begging someone to say that they want you to stay. Even though they both did tell the other they wanted to stay together, neither of them actually realised that’s what they were saying. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘Cause you kiss me and it stops time, and I’m yours, but you’re not mine.’ The first half of the sentence being from Aziraphale’s perspective in reference to the kiss, and the second from Crowley’s, in reference to how Crowley’s much more accepting of his romantic feelings. 

‘I’m standing on the sidewalk, alone. I wait for you to drive by. I’m trying to see the cards that you won’t show.’ Because of those shots in the Final Fifteen with both of them ‘standing on the sidewalk’ watching each other from opposite sides of the road. Also, any lyrics with references to cars or driving makes me think of these two. ‘Cards that you won’t show’ is very interesting lyric, because it’s a reference to Aziraphale’s love for human magic tricks, and also to their inability to actually properly express and explain their thoughts to each other. ‘I said ‘I love you’, you say nothing back.’ Crowley’s perspective. 3. How You Get the Girl

This song is about how to apologise to someone after breaking their heart … while the breakup was not entirely Aziraphale’s fault (they BOTH need to learn to communicate and properly confront their feelings), some of the lyrics do have some similarities to their relationship.

✦Notable lyrics: ‘That you were too afraid to tell her what you want.’ He was just scared about what his feelings for Crowley mean :( 4. You are in Love

The single happy song on this playlist. Honestly, it’s a song which isn’t that specific to them and I feel like it’s applicable to every ship ever; you know, the Love Song. However, there are some lyrics in this song that have some of their vibes. The whole song is about how love is constant and yet unable to be put into words or exactly understood, which perfectly describes them. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘He says ‘look up’, and your shoulders brush’ reminds me of someone telling someone else to look up at the stars !!! because Crowley made the stars and he was so happy about them :( and Aziraphale remembered that AHHHHHH

‘and why I’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words’ it’s ineffable <3

5. Wildest Dreams This song is about falling in love with someone while knowing that it can never last.The relationship in this song is one that is magnetic and beautiful and messy, and the protagonist enters it while knowing it’s going to end but wanting to stay anyway. This describes their relationship perfectly. They both have a tendency to repress their feelings because they both feel like they can never be acted upon. Even them being friends is something that is constantly fraught with danger, something that they actively need to fight for if they want to keep it (See The Great War). To Aziraphale, indeed to both of them before their shared realisation of ‘this is possible’ because of Gabriel and Beelzebub’s confession, their relationship only ever existed in their ‘wildest dreams.’

✦Notable lyrics:

‘He said, “Let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds.” I thought, “Heaven can't help me now” Nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down.’ All of Crowley’s invitations to run away; invitations that are always declined, even if Aziraphale wants so badly to go with him. There’s always a duty that pulls him away, something he feels he needs to fix before things can be how he wants them to be.

‘Nothing lasts forever’ HAHAHAHA … ‘I said, “No one has to know what we do.”’ A relationship that’s kept hidden. “He’s so tall, and handsome as hell. He’s so bad, but he does it so well.”Beauty and love that pulls you in, but feels wicked and frightening. See Cruel Summer.

6. hoax 

THE Crowley song. About loving someone who exposes your vulnerabilities; they feel like part of who you are, so they’re also your biggest weakness. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘Stood on the cliff side screaming ‘give me a reason’’ is very much ‘show me a Great Plan.’ ‘My best laid plan, your sleight of hand.’ References to magic!! Crowley prepared and tried to gain enough confidence to confess to Aziraphale and ask for them to run away together, but Aziraphale’s ‘sleight of hand’ and the Metatron’s influence messed with that. It looked like he was actually going to confess and they maybe had a chance, but then that all fell apart because he didn’t foresee any reason why Aziraphale would go back to Heaven . ‘You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart, but what you did was just as dark. Darling, this was just as hard as when they pulled me apart.’ Aziraphale ‘abandoning’ him hurt him greatly, as it felt like such a core part of him was being torn away. This is akin to what Falling would likely have been like, obviously not the same, but in both instances his sense of normal, his identity, and everything that he held dear to him was destroyed.  

‘You know I left a part of me back in New York.’Crowley and Aziraphale can both never truly leave the other without leaving ‘a part’ of themselves behind, because they’re so intertwined in each other's existences. 

7. peace

Describes how they could never find peace with each other because ‘hereditary enemies’ etc etc etc. They can’t be safe together; for a long time they couldn’t even admit their friendship because it would mean danger. We can still see this in Aziraphale; he’s constantly afraid of doing the wrong thing when he should be a good angel.

8. mirrorball

THE Aziraphale song. Perhaps one of the most Aziraphale songs of all time I'm genuinely not joking or exaggerating it's SO GOOD. About a people pleaser who revolves their life around others. Their existence and value is determined by their role in relation to someone else and how well they serve said role. The image of a mirrorball, shining high above the dancefloor, providing light and a shiny jewel for everyone to look at, yet being all alone (that Taylor Swift described was the inspiration for the song), is very fitting. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight.’ For so much of his life, Az’s purpose has been to serve Heaven. This lyric reflects that. His character growth throughout the show largely focuses on him coming to terms with their lies and abuse, and forming moral codes of his own.

‘You are not like the regulars, the masquerade revellers, drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten.’ ‘Masquerade revellers’ referring to the angels, watching Aziraphale ‘break in a million pieces’ to serve Heaven, without understanding that he has limits and he’s his own person.

‘Hush, when no one is around, my dear, you'll find me on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you. Hush, I know they said the end is near. But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you.’ Aziraphale only really acts himself when it’s just him and Crowley and they’re free of Heaven and Hell’s observing forces. Also ‘I know they said the end is near’ ; reference to Armageddon!! ‘I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why, I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try try try’ He’s trying to be good but his warped understanding of what good is hindering that. He has such a low self-esteem especially in regards to his own ‘goodness’, hence he tries so hard :( he’s just trying to do the right thing but he doesn’t realise what he believes to be right is far from it ahhhhhh

‘I’m still on that tightrope, still trying everything to keep you looking at me.’ Remember the ‘I’m standing on a tightrope, alone.’ Lyric from Say Don’t Go? He’s positioned above everyone else, on a completely different level to them, representing his isolation and unique status as really one of the only angels who’s simultaneously trying to do the right thing to help people while following the will of Heaven, things which often contradict each other.

9. Come Back …. Be Here

Long distance anthem!!!!! Them pining after each other after the s2 finale when they’re separated; it mostly feels like Crowley’s pov. 

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘taxi cabs and busy streets that never bring you back to me’ London is busy, but to Crowley, it feels empty because one of the things he loved the most is gone. ‘If I'd known what I know now, I never would have played so nonchalant.’ Because their own constant inability to confront their feelings and dancing around their relationship is what lead to their misunderstanding and then them being separated. If they had actually talked about things together, maybe they’d have a better understanding of their relationship and what the other wants.

10. The Very First Night.Nostalgia and looking back on what was. Very fitting for a show with immortal beings that features their histories together all throughout time. ‘I knew the angel you used to be.’ ‘The angel you knew is not me.’ ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I wish I could fly, I’d pick you up and we’d go back in time, I’d write this in the sky, I miss you like it was the very first night.’ opening scene of season two, CROWLEY MADE THE STARS DKAJNS They both want things between them to be normal and safe. Aziraphale thinks that them being together in Heaven, like things used to be, would ensure this, but Crowley of course wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole. ‘I wish I could fly’ is interesting. Falling being akin to clipping a bird’s wings; removing them of their power. Obviously Heaven would think taking away an Angel’s Heavenly status is a terrible punishment. It’s interesting because Crowley doesn’t actually wish he could fly because he doesn’t want to be an angel again. This lyric could be representative of both of their wishes for more power to be able to change things. They both want to be able to make things better for the two of them and for everyone else, Aziraphale just thinks he has to become a better angel and embrace his Heavenly duties even more in order to make things how he wants them (‘If I’m in charge, I can make a difference.’)

11. All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

One of her most iconic breakup songs …. but this song, and the 10 minute version specifically, has lots of lyrics that remind me of them. Notable lyrics: ‘Something ‘bout it felt like home, somehow’ Aziraphale was home to Crowley, when neither Heaven nor Hell ever treated Crowley like he had a place. One of my favourite metaphors in this show is the use of Crowley’s glasses to represent his vulnerability. The bookshop is one of the only places he ever takes them off because it’s the only place he feels really safe. Him taking them off during his confession only to put them back on again when he realises Aziraphale isn’t going to follow him, and then being on during the kiss is just so symbolic!!!! AJSNBSKDNSBSK ‘You almost ran the red cause you were looking over at me’ obligatory driving lyric ‘you used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin sized bed’ Crowley used to be so happy about making the stars :( ‘Oh, your sweet disposition, And my wide-eyed gaze’ THEM !!!! More vibes of them as angels though. ‘And I was thinkin' on the drive down: Any time now, he's gonna say it's love. You never called it what it was. ‘til we were dead and gone and buried, check the pulse and come back swearing, it's the same after three months in the grave. And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you but all I felt was shame, and you held my lifeless frame’ This entire section is them. Aziraphale could never admit their friendship or his own feelings because of his relationship with heaven. He feels ‘shame’ because it’s not what he should be doing as an angel. ‘And there we are again when nobody had to know. You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath. Sacred prayer, and we'd swear to remember it all too well, yeah’ Hiding their relationship because az is afraid and it puts both of them in danger. However Crowley doesn’t have the same loyalty to heaven or hell so he keeps aziraphale like an ‘oath’ because it’s an important vow as opposed to something you have to keep hidden. Also any references to prayer is yeah !!!! ‘Well, maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much.’ Because they never talk about their feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ‘They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new hell every time you double-cross my mind. You said ‘if we had been closer in age maybe it would've been fine’ and that made me want to die’ References to hell. Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels (but this isn’t true, while Aziraphale does still have biases against Hell because of Heaven’s abuse -’You’re the bad guys!, etc-, he just wants them to be happy :( ) Also ‘every time you double-cross my mind’ is such a clever piece of lyricism. I’ve got nothing too deep to comment on with that one, it’s just plain clever. ‘The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel, whose shine reflects on you’ Again, Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels. Aziraphale also deeply failed to understand that Crowley doesn’t want to go back to heaven; this section is from Crowley’s view that aziraphale only cares about him as an angel, which is partly true but he remembers how happy and safe they both were as angels, and he just wants that feeling back. ‘I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight’ fighting for a broken cause; applicable mostly to Aziraphale’s loyalty to Heaven, but could also have meaning in regards to him and Crowley (See The Great War). ‘I still remember the first fall of snow and how it glistened as it fell. I remember it all too well’ because they were together for the very first fall of rain EVER !!!1

12. The Archer This is perhaps one of Taylor’s most Crowley songs ever. His anxiety and paranoia. He’s constantly on edge, constantly worried. He’s lived consistently exposed to danger and lies in every single direction with Aziraphale being the only one he could really trust, and even then, the two of them weren’t ever fully honest with each other. ‘The archer’ is someone who is consistently ‘ready for combat’ and thus sabotages their relationships because of this and feels guilt for it. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘I jump from the train, I ride off alone.’ Crowley’s way of dealing with stressful things is to run away from them. He consistently abandons situations he isn’t prepared to deal with because he ‘never grew up’ and gained the ability to properly communicate his feelings. Him walking out the bookshop door and driving away could be a representation of him running away from his feelings for Aziraphale because the fragile hope he’d gained in the previous scene had been torn down.

‘I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you.’ Because they never actually talk to each other:

‘Because you and Mr. Fell don’t ever talk to each other.’

‘We talk all the time, trust me. We’ve been talking for millions of years. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I say something brilliant, he says something unintentionally funny back, it’s great.’

‘You never say what you’re really thinking.’

‘I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost, the room is on fire, invisible smoke.’ Bookshop fire ….. also just general restlessness and inability to sleep; to rest, because he always feels like he needs to be fighting for what he has and wants otherwise he’ll lose it. 

‘All of my enemies started out friends, help me hold on to you’ Crowley’s whole life and sense of self was torn away from him and burned, and any relationships he managed to have before he Fell would have gone up in flames as well. His desperately self-sustaining and combative attitude towards existence was likely borne from this; being unsteady in anything he ever gained. Aziraphale obviously was the only relationship he really was able to ‘hold on to’,  but even the angel was never able to fully feel like he could be himself … and also, this lyric:

‘screaming who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay? [….] you could stay.’ Except ‘he’ didn’t stay, did ‘he’?

13. Death by a Thousand Cuts

A breakup song about a relationship that you can’t move on from because it formed such a key part of you for so many years. It was ‘a great love; one for the ages’ yet you’re ‘still writing pages.’

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright, they say ‘I don’t know’’ very much Crowley driving around aimlessly trying to fill up the space Aziraphale left behind.

‘I get drunk but it’s not enough because the morning comes and you’re not my baby.’ Because that’s also how Crowley copes with his feelings when they get too overwhelming; running away and drowning himself with drink.

‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug, now I’m searching for signs in a haunted club.’Aziraphale doesn’t really feel comfortable admitting his relationship with Crowley. We can see that Crowley doesn’t like this through, for example, their dialogue when Crowley first asks for holy water (‘fraternising’ etc). To Crowley, Aziraphale leaving must have felt like Crowley wasn’t enough to stay for, and that Aziraphale never really loved him as much as he loved Aziraphale. Also bears similarity to Don’t Blame Me (‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh.’) which gives the impression of love that was addicting and powerful, but it became too much. ‘Our songs, our films, united, we stand, our country, guess it was a lawless land.’Get ready because this line is so much more meaningful than I ever realised when I added it to this post. ‘Our songs’ something something nightingales.

But the real meat of this lyric lies in the second half. The phrase ‘united, we stand, divided, we fall’  is often used in mottos of organisations and countries in order to inspire collaboration and patriotism for them. It preaches the importance of staying loyal to a certain side, for if division sows among them, then they will ‘fall.’ Historically, it has been frequently used as war propaganda in WWII, and the American Revolutionary War. It has also been used in the struggle for Indian independence, by Ulster loyalists in Ireland, and by many political leaders, for example. Similar phrases can be found in the Bible, for example in in Mark 3:25 (If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand),  Matthew 12:25 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand), and Luke 11:17 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and a divided household falls).

In this song it describes the relationship between the singer and their former lover, which further animates their love as a physical nation or state (as well as a house with the lyrics ‘I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up, chandelier’s still flickering here ‘cause I can’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not).

This animation and the use of this specific phrase which has been used to garner a sense of loyalty towards a cause shows their love to have been a deeply personal thing, something you pledge your devotion to. However, in this song it’s contrasted with the lyric ‘Guess it was a lawless land’ which shows that the nation and love was hollow. It fell apart due to division.

Remind you of anything? Loyalty conflicts is a big part of this show, particularly with Aziraphale’s character, who is still shown to be attached to Heaven as late in his character arc as the Armageddon storyline in season one:

‘Even if I did, why would I tell you? We’re on opposite sides!’

‘We’re on our side!’

‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’

Aziraphale’s turmoil between his Heavenly duties and his feelings for Crowley (not just romantic, even their friendship) is a large part of his unwillingness to admit their closeness, but he’s also just afraid that they’ll get punished. He’s just afraid.

 ‘we could’ve been …. us.’ 

‘our side.’ 

‘a group of the two of us.’

etc , etc

Their relationship is repeatedly treated like it’s its own ‘side’ or ‘group’ that can be pledged allegiance to or deserted. This perfectly sets up Az’s character conflict and growth. It’s so GOOD!!!!!!

It also has a double meaning with Heaven’s patriotism, which has a façade of goodness but is really very corrupt and ‘lawless.’

‘But it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t enough, no, no.’Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale to go with him, he did everything he could, but it didn’t work. That’s what the kiss was; not a moment of love, but a moment of desperation. A final attempt to lay everything out. But it wasn’t enough.

14. Cruel Summer

Secret relationship that makes you feel whole but destroys you at the same time. ‘Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes.’ Religious language. The inability for Heaven and Hell to understand love, and even just friendship, between angels and demons is possible. Hell, and the demons, ‘roll[s] the dice’, the language featuring references to gambling shows their more opportunistic nature and need to trick every situation into benefiting them, because otherwise they’re stuck at the bottom of the pile. They can risk everything on a bet that could see them losing all their money, but they don’t really have anything to lose, which makes them very dangerous (like Furfur). Heaven is more judgemental, ‘roll[ing] their eyes.’ This judgement is what Aziraphale is afraid of (and, of course, the physical retribution that follows). It’s rather akin to an abusive relationship such as between a parent and a child, with an unhealthy power dynamic and Heaven always having more control. The child is always trying to do what’s right, but their view of what is right is often in relation to what their parent has raised them to believe is right, or simply in relation to whatever will make the parent happy. This is an analogy that perfectly describes Aziraphale and his internal conflict. ‘and if I bleed you’ll be the last to know’ Az hides his distress and doesn’t like people seeing him cry. See Tied Together with a Smile (second to last song). 

‘and I scream for whatever it’s worth; ‘I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?’’ From Crowley’s perspective, Aziraphale loves Heaven more than him, and loving him is something that is shocking and unthinkable. Aziraphale is aware and okay with his feelings for Crowley, he’s only okay with them on a very, very surface level. He’s only sort of okay with their friendship, but doesn’t want to acknowledge anything more than that. So even if a confession of love is something Aziraphale wants from Crowley, he also doesn’t want to hear because he knows that they could never work. AHHHHHHH 15. tolerate it Largely about Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven. He gives them everything and works so hard to be a good angel but they never fully value him.  ✦ Notable lyrics: The bridge also is in reference to his and Crowley’s relationship: ‘While you were out building other worlds, where was I?’ Because they made the stars!!!!! 

‘Where’s that man who threw blankets over my barbed wire? I made you my temple, my mural, my sky … now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life.’ CROWLEY CROWLEY!!! Also religious imagery is just *chef's kiss*.

16. champagne problems

About a proposal that’s refused … I feel like I do not need to elaborate much on this, however it does apply to both of them, because they BOTH were offering something that the other refused. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘this dorm was once a mad-house, I made a joke, ‘well it’s made for me’’ Crowley vibes. ‘I never was ready so I watched you go.’  Aziraphale wasn’t ready to fully turn away from Heaven, so he had to watch Crowley leave. ‘You had a speech, you’re speechless, love slipped beyond your reaches.’ Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale; he knew he had to start talking first because if not he’d ‘never start talking. He knew what he was going to say, he ‘had a speech’ but it ‘wasn’t enough’ and Aziraphale ‘slipped’ away.  

17. ivy

This song is about an affair, and it’s also a very, very queercoded song. To Aziraphale, his relationship with Crowley feels like figuratively cheating on Heaven, ignoring his duties and shunning his responsibility and role as a ‘good angel’. Notable lyrics: ‘He’s in the room, but your opal eyes are all I wish to see.’ “But it’s pretty!” 💛💛 ‘So tell me to run, or dare to sit and watch what will become.’ Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven is very mentally abusive. He will only be free of their influence if he ‘runs’ from them. He can’t stay connected to Heaven and be truly free and happy. 

‘So yeah, it’s a fire, it’s a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it, you started it. So yeah, it’s a war, it’s the goddamn fight of my life, and you started it, you started it.’ Both of their, but especially Aziraphale’s, internal conflict symbolised through fire and war. ‘Spring breaks loose, but so does fear’ Their bond and love has remained throughout history, and with Gabriel and Beelzebub revealing their relationship, the spark of hope was lit in both of them. ‘Spring [broke] loose’ but the Metatron’s offer subsequently pulled Aziraphale away from Crowley and reignited some of the ‘fear’ that he’s spent the show trying to grow away from. 

‘He’s going to burn this house to the ground.’ Speaking of Aziraphale’s fear; he’s worried about what admitting his feelings for Crowley, romantic or even just their friendship, will mean. The danger that it will draw. This lyric also has an interesting double meaning, referencing the literal burning of Aziraphale’s bookshop.

18. Back to December.

Another song about apologising to someone for breaking their heart. ✦ Notable lyrics: 

‘You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye.’ The first part of this lyric is only really relative to Crowley’s confession in the Final Fifteen, because their relationship has never really been stable; they never gave the other ‘all [their] love’ because their fear stopped them. Crowley only ever showed his love to Aziraphale because he felt like he didn’t have a choice and it was the only thing that could save them. But Aziraphale 

‘But then the cold came, dark days when fear crept into my mind.’ I initially added this lyric because it reminded me of Aziraphale, but it also now reminds me of both of them. Their own fears interfered with their abilities to accept the other’s confession and to be happy. They need to both grow and learn before they can actually have a healthier romantic relationship.

19. The Great War

The metaphor of relationship troubles and trauma being connected to war.

There are some references to said relationship troubles relating to the inability to properly confront feelings and issues, instead turning away and using silence as a punishment to avoid really having to change your relationship.

Also relevant because their relationship isn’t just a metaphorical war; there is the imminent threat of literal war between Heaven and Hell, and literal physical negative repercussions to each of them due to their love being known. The motif of soldiers is also connected to the line of ‘I’m a soldier who’s returning half her weight.’ from ATW10MV.

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘It turned into something bigger, somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed. Your finger on my hair pin triggers …. soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honour and truth, broken and blue, so I called off the troops. That was the night I nearly lost you. I really thought I lost you.’

They are each other’s weaknesses; see hoax. Their inability to communicate their feelings lead to the breakdown of their relationship. They ‘really thought [they] lost’ each other. ‘And maybe it's the past that's talkin’, screamin' from the crypt. Telling me to punish you for things you never did. So I justified it.’

A bit part of Aziraphale’s character is his journey of developing his own sense of morality independent of Heaven’s. This is especially delved into in season two through, for example, the Job storyline and the Edinburgh storyline. However, we can see that he’s still very much under the influence of Heaven’s abuse during episode six through the way he still believes what they say about right and wrong and about the nature of Hell (‘Of course you said no to Hell, you’re the bad guys’ as opposed to ‘they’re the bad guys’). He doesn’t want to do anything malicious, and he doesn’t want to leave to Heaven, with his conflict about staying or going being quite obvious (as numerous points in the Final Fifteen he appears very tortured, frequently hesitating and trying to say things other than wanting to go back to Heaven). But he feels like it’s what he had to do, ‘So [he] justified it.’

20. Midnight Rain

This song is actually on their official playlist!!! About moving on from someone who wanted something different out of your relationship; a sentence which almost perfectly describes the way they view their relationship (of course, their misunderstanding led them both to believe the other wants something different, when in actuality they both want the same thing; to be safe together).

‘My town was a wasteland, full of cages, full of fences, pageant queens and big pretenders, but for some it was paradise’ 

&

‘It came like a postcard, picture-perfect, shiny family, holidays, peppermint candy, but for him it’s every day.’Heaven… I don’t think I really need to elaborate on this.

‘He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain. He wanted a bride, I was making my own name, chasing that fame, he stayed the same, all of me changed like midnight rain.’

Crowley wants them, he wants them to be ‘comfortable’ and safe, and he thinks that’ll only come if they distance themselves from both Heaven and Hell. Aziraphale also wants this, but he also can’t leave Heaven behind to the extent Crowley wants him to. He wants the ‘pain’ of belonging to Heaven’s institution and having high value there, because it’s familiar to him. It might be incredibly abusive, but it’s home to him. 

He wants to do the right thing, and he thinks that the only way to do that is to stay there. Ahhh ..

21. Tied Together With A Smile

Aziraphale song :( another one about his massive insecurities, folks. 

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘you walk around here thinking you’re not pretty’ Aziraphale always doubts how good of an angel he is and how well he’s doing what’s expected of him.

‘That you cry, but you don’t tell anyone, that you might not be the golden one, and you’re tied together with a smile but you’re coming undone.’Aziraphale doesn’t like letting anyone see him cry. He always turns away and tries to pretend he’s the ‘golden one’, trying to pretend everything is fine and he’s always doing exactly what Heaven wants, yet he is so insecure about his goodness. 

The entire second verse about him wanting love and praise from Heaven: ‘I guess it’s true that love was all you wanted […] but he leaves you out like a penny in the rain’ he’s tossed aside and talked down to by the people he works so hard to do the right thing for.

22. Don’t Blame Me Mainly this song is included because of its heavy religious motifs. It’s very reminiscent of a gospel song, also connections to Cruel Summer; ‘love made me crazy’. Of course a lot of this song is very ironic because it describes a love so strong and intense that it ‘made [me] crazy’, that you disregard everything ‘true’ and ‘right’, only doing what you feel is right in connection to your lover, nothing else mattering. However, this is absolutely NOT what happened in this show, in fact the exact reverse. I think this song describes how Crowley feels; not feeling connected to the institutions of Heaven and Hell and being willing to leave them completely behind. Perhaps it also describes a hypothetical future in which Aziraphale has grown and reached the point he can comfortably leave Heaven completely.

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘Baby I would fall from Grace, just to touch your face. If you’d walk away, I’d beg you on my knees to stay.’ Because .. because that’s what happened. They begged eachother to stay :( Also religious language. ‘I get so high, oh, every time you’re, every time you’re loving me, you’re loving me.’ Their relationship is so powerful (especially how they were able to perform the really large miracle ACCIDENTALLY). ‘Something happened for the first time in the darkest little Paradise.’ Religious language. Them being together is their own ‘little Paradise’, because, due to them being forced to hide the nature of their relationship, their relationship becomes very intimate and personal. ‘Halo, hiding my obsession, I once was poison ivy but now I’m your daisy.’ Religious language. Aziraphale helps Crowley be able to relax and to rest, letting down his guard. Crowley’s not fully able to do this, and he’s not fully willing to embrace the fact he is indeed ‘nice’, but he’s getting there. He’s still The Archer, but he can put down his bow slightly easier (but of course, the one time he fully put it down and opened up his heart, he was burned, so I don’t think he’ll be doing it again any time soon). ‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh, oh.’ This lyric is particularly meaningful when parallelled to Death by a Thousand Cuts; ‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug.’

23. Dancing With Our Hands Tied This song describes a love that you desperately want to be hidden yet you know that it’s only a matter of time before everyone finds out and the danger starts.To have one’s hands tied is to be unable to affect something, representing how their relationship and their own lives were always out of their control because they could never live how they wanted to without fear of retribution (an excellent metaphor for queerness). Additionally, the motif of dancing, which in this context is an intimate and notably private act between the two lovers, is happening while the lovers’ hands are tied, representing the division and conflict that intrudes even while they’re alone together (‘Something happened for the first time in a darkest little Paradise’ from Don’t Blame Me). 

✦ Noteable lyrics: ‘I, I loved you in secret.’ ‘Yeah, we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied, hands tied.’ See above for analysis of the title lyric!! This song also reminds me of them because thy did actually dance together in season 2 episode 5, which is one of my all time favourite GO episodes. ‘I, I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us. So, baby, can we dance, oh, through an avalanche?’ They couldn’t live how they wanted because of ‘deep fears’ that outside forces would ‘divide’ them, which in the end is what happened. Feeling like the world is against them (‘angels and demons, they can’t just-’)

Honourable mentions!!

Lyrics that make me think of them but there’s not enough content in the overall song to justify it being put on the playlist. They don’t have much, if any, elaboration, but if you want to hear my thoughts on any of these, let me know!! Of course I’ll add analysis to these if anyone wants them. This will probably be the section of the post that’ll be updated the most frequently, and feel free to reply or reblog with any of your additions :D 

~~

‘Just a shot, just a shot in the dark, oh oh.’ - Sweeter than Fiction, 1989 (remember the ‘I’ve known it from the very start, we’re a shot in the darkest dark’ from Say Don’t Go?)

‘Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon. Your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘Eyes full of stars, hustling for the good life […].’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘And you asked me to dance, but I said ‘Dancing is a dangerous game.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘I knew it from the first, old-fashioned, we were cursed, we never had a shotgun, shot in the dark.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (again, the ‘shot in the dark’ lyric! Also this was my suprise song WHAT THE FUCK?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?)

‘We were jet-set, Bonnie and Clyde, oh yeah, ‘till I switched to the other side, to the other side.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (‘We’re on our side!’ … ‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’).

‘Cause lately I don’t even know what page you’re on.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘Oh, simple complication, miscommunication leads to fallout. So many things that I wish you knew, so many walls up I can’t break through.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now 

'But I liked it better when you were on my side.' -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘And I wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser, who only wanted you to see her.’ -You’re Losing Me, Midnights

‘Loving him was like driving a new Massarati down a dead end street; faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ended so suddenly.’ - Red, Red

'You dream of my mouth before it called you a 'lying traitor.' - Is It Over Now? , 1989 (Taylor's Version)

'When your impressionist paintings of Heaven turned out to be fake, well, you took me to Hell too.' - loml, The Tortured Poets Department

thanks for getting to the bottom!! it means so much to me that you wanted to read this in any amount, you truly have no idea. here's a cookie 🍪 !!!!!

bye :D

[the-apology-dance]

Reading into Crowley’s Appearance

I realized as I carefully picked apart Crowley’s appearance that even when in his corporeal form, he has A LOT of snake references.

HIS HAIR

Obviously, it isn’t straight. It’s very curly. They could even be described as “coil curls”. This would definitely be a snake reference as a snake “coils”.

Anything that is “coiling” is arranged in a tight circle of rings. Much like Crowley’s hair.

It would also be hinting at Crowley’s tattoo. His tattoo is of the “Kundalini Serpent”.

“It is believed that when celestial beings entered our world, they would enter in the form of a snake. Kundalini is coiled like a snake 3.5 times, the half representing infinity no ending and movement towards greater and greater expansion, reminding us that this energy represents our own infinite nature.”

Sound familiar?

Obviously, his yellow eyes and slit pupils resemble a snake, and his role as the original tempter in the Garden Of Eden with the apple.

His posture and walking style even hint at him being a snake at a point, as he has a very unique way of walking, making sense that it is a bit clumsy as snakes don’t have hip joints.

He also drapes himself over any furniture he sits on much like a snake hangs from branches, and many different objects.

*I could be reading too deeply into this BUT let me know what you think!”

[shae-s-heartsong]

Crowley's driving (ending S2)

One of the weirdest arguments people make to prove theories - mostly appearance swap theories - is that, during the ending of ep6 (credits), when Crowley rides his car, his face moves very little. 

It’s very strange to me because it’s easy to understand why. That’s because he drives slowly (which the same people never forget to mention). In other occurrences, his head shakes a little bit more, because he drives fast.

Comparison below the cut:

Actually the difference is very subtle. Here see Crowley’s face before he reaches the Bookshop on fire in ep4 S1: it’s almost the same thing, but a) he’s driving faster, 2) he’s looking at his phone:

And look, when he’s not talking, his face is often inexpressive and stays rather still, except it shakes because of the car’s movements (I took a random gif lmao): 

And it’s like that, most of the time (go check!). So no, it’s not an actual argument to use. It’s not weird. It’s physics! 

Now, the fact that he drives slowly is uncharacteristic. But it’s also easy to explain. 

Can you tell me where Crowley is going?

Do you think he knows? 

He hasn’t anywhere to go. At this point it’s not said that he’s got his flat back. He’s not directly threatened by anything. He’s heartbroken. He’s certainly not going to go to Heaven to take Aziraphale back. And during The Scene he’s made his position clear that he doesn’t want to give attention to the Second Coming (yet) - at this point he knew it was coming but he wanted to go away - with Aziraphale. So he’s not gonna even go to Alpha Centauri, not without Aziraphale (and well not with his car). 

He’s not going anywhere. He’s out of options. That’s the point. 

(If you want to make comparisons, when he thought Aziraphale was dead and left the shop on fire, he was heartbroken, sure, but he was also angry, and in the shock of the moment. So he drove fast. Here, he’s watched Aziraphale take the elevator. He knows it’s real, he knows it too much. He’s not shocked - he’s dejected).

[queenofthearchipelago]

Hey! I just saw your post about some meta doing good but then misunderstanding the characters at some point. If you do not mind sharing, what are certain misconceptions that you usually see and don’t agree with?

Hi! I don't mind sharing but before I answer this I wanna say that I do love that this fandom has so many interpretations of Aziraphale and Crowley's actions and thoughts and motivations. I think some of those interpretations don't always line up with everything we see of them in the show and I feel that both of them have areas where they can be misunderstood. But if anyone reading this finds themselves disagreeing with me, that you do see some of what I'm about to say in their characters, I'm not trying to take your version of Crowley and Aziraphale away from you and like, ruin that fun by saying people are wrong, or something. Fandom becomes really stiff when the culture only has one idea of who the characters are.

That said, I'll start with Crowley because I've always found him most relatable, and so I think about his character more than Aziraphale's.

The first thing is Crowley's temper. I've read quite a few metas talking about how Crowley needs to better manage his anger because it shuts Aziraphale down and makes it harder for him to talk. I don't see this. I mean, yes, Crowley has a temper. Crowley has been shown to be angry. But I've not seen it shut Aziraphale down. When Aziraphale gets nervous around an angered Crowley, it's always because Crowley has said something blasphemous. Such as at the bandstand when Crowley is cursing the Great Plan. Aziraphale becomes scared FOR Crowley and Crowley is never angry AT Aziraphale. I can't think of a scene off the top of my head where anything Crowley does makes Aziraphale feel like he can't say something he clearly wants to say.

But also, I feel that this take of Crowley's character, that he struggles with his temper around Aziraphale, somehow erases how gentle he really is with Aziraphale. He's always so patient with him, even when it would make sense for him to be off the rails angry. And also also, the two main times we see Crowley lose his temper around Aziraphale (the bandstand and then the fight in episode 1 of this season) are both times of great desperation. The world was ENDING. He was SCARED (He's really good at hiding how scared he is). And then Gabriel shows up and Crowley doesn't know how but he feels this will disrupt every single good thing in his life. And so he explodes in the street, something we don't have reason to think Aziraphale saw. Crowley literally left to go cool down. I think he did his best.

I also see a lot of metas speak to Crowley's apparent lack of self-worth. I've spoken about this before, I think Crowley is very confident in who he is. I think he knows himself better than Aziraphale knows himself. Crowley has ALWAYS known who he is, his arc is not one of self-discovery. It's actually Crowley's dedication to being himself despite what Hell would have him be that causes him conflict and intrigues Aziraphale so much.

That also leads into this idea that Crowley can't see himself clearly and therefore can't accept Aziraphale's love. As if he can't comprehend why Aziraphale might love him. But, we literally watch as Crowley graciously accepts every advance that Aziraphale makes. Crowley is the one who "goes too fast" and he probably has a lot of joy every time Aziraphale makes another step forward. It's Aziraphale who said, "Let's go out for lunch" the first time. It's Aziraphale who invited a demon into the bookshop meant to be an embassy for Heaven. It's Aziraphale who said "our car", and then Crowley gave him the keys. Crowley even blatantly says, "We've spent our entire existence pretending that we're not." This implies that he KNOWS. He knows Aziraphale has been pretending too, for 6,000 years, and before that too. Crowley knows he's loved, the problem was that he wasn't allowed to be loved by an angel, and neither of them ever got to say it out loud.

And then there are other, smaller things I see in metas that I don't generally agree with (though I completely understand how people got there). Which is this idea that Crowley feels rejected by Aziraphale. I mean, yes, but also no. I don't think Crowley got in the car at the end and drove away thinking that Aziraphale loves Heaven more than him. I think he's more angry that every single time Aziraphale falls to Earth, Heaven tugs on this rope around his waist and pulls him back up. I think Crowley understands Aziraphale's dilemma a lot better than we think he does.

And also, more recently I've seen some speculation about how Crowley wanting to run away is somehow a character flaw? Like, I agree with the point that both of them were wrong. Fixing Heaven won't work, so Crowley was right. But also, running away isn't a long term solution for them because they both love Earth too much. But I don't exactly see this as a character flaw? In season 1 when he mentions running away, let me remind you that THE WORLD WAS ENDING. He was desperate and he was scared. And in season 2, it wasn't so much a plea to literally run away into the stars and escape as it was an immortal being saying, "Look, Gabriel and Beelzelbub did it. Wherever they are, they're together, and they're dedicated to being happy together. Can we do that? Can we do that forever? In this bookshop or in the stars (in a cottage in the south downs?) Because I love you and I don't wanna think about belonging to anyone else anymore. WE don't need to belong to anyone else anymore. What do you say?"

And as for Aziraphale, I've said before that I don't think he wants Crowley to be an angel so that he can love him more. Aziraphale loves him as he is. And I think there are more articulate posts out there outlining why. The ask for Crowley to be an angel again has nothing to do with Crowley himself except that Aziraphale thinks Crowley would be safer that way. Aziraphale can fix Heaven FOR Crowley. Crowley's fall was wrong and he can now right that wrong. This happened, tragically, because Aziraphale loves him exactly as he is. And as much as Crowley's heart is broken right now, I don't think he doesn't know that. He knows the love he's had from Aziraphale these millennia was real. He knows it.

This became an essay, maybe one day I'll figure out how to get my points across quickly lol. But yeah, these are just my thoughts about who I understand these characters to be in canon. And I know that even though it's been nearly a month since the season dropped, people are still working through all the details that led up to our favorite angel stepping into an elevator and the demon who loves him more than life driving away alone in silence. I'm honestly still working through it too, there's still so much to think about.

[actual-changeling]

as much as i want crowley and aziraphale to move in together asap, i think it would actually be a lot healthier for crowley to have his own space for a while.

aziraphale has his bookshop, a somewhat-safe space that is decorated to his liking and adapted for his lifestyle, but crowley has never had anything even close. his flat 'comes with the job' and looks like a heaven/hell lovechild in the worst way imaginable, and everyone has free access to it.

i think he needs a little flat in soho, close enough to aziraphale for them to see each other every single day if they so wish. instead of stretching concrete walls and empty space, he has wooden floors, a room for all his plants and several scattered throughout the flat, a big, comfortable bed, a nice living room and kitchen (with a full fridge that is never plugged in but still works perfectly) - whatever he wants.

it's his, he owns it, he ""rents"" it (miracles the money or there is suddenly a flat where there wasn't before), he can change it to his liking.

not to go all trauma recovery but it's actually so important to have a space that is safe and just yours, and crowley deserves that. once they're both ready, the can find a nice cottage to share, but they need to get to a point where they're not just at peace with each other but themselves, too.

[idliketobeatree]

one of my pet peeves in fics is when crowley is just unnecessarily rude to the customer service. all headcanons aside, where did that come from? he would never inconvenience people already struggling within an exploitative system, and who have to deal with things akin to hell on earth

you think the guy who's argued that poverty is not making you a noble person would be sticking his leg out for the waiter to trip over? the same guy who drank literal poison and risked punishment, so the poor girl didn't kill herself? persuading aziraphale to give her the means to live? or, going by the book, the guy who thinks early morning is an excellent time to drive through the city, because it's quieter and the people who start work this early generally do more meaningful jobs? this guy??

he's a bit straight-forward and scowly, but he has client manners. if anything, he'd leave an amazing tip. wrong order at rush hour and the manager's being awful? let's curse them. heck, let's mess up the google reviews, so the customers feel the need to leave 1 star only and the whole place closes down. then he'd arrange better job offers in the neighboorhood for the remaining staff. crowley's got you. i absolutely refuse to believe otherwise.

[aheavenofhell]

I think “Crowley makes up excuses as to why this Good Thing he does is actually Bad” is a fun trope in fanfic but I also think it’s OOC for Crowley to disguise doing the Right Thing as doing a Kind of Bad Thing. For as much as he gripes when Aziraphale says he does something kind or good, he never actually denies it. He will deflect, or insist it isn’t his actual nature (not responsible for my acts, I’m not nice, etc) but he won’t disagree with the consensus that what he did probably was, more or less, good—or at least Right.

While I like the idea of him lying to Hell about stuff to get out of punishments, I really dislike when people headcanon him as villainizing things like Pride and Feminism in order to participate in them (Crowley going to pride because being gay is a sin!) (like be so fr) Bigotry is an ill-fitting jacket regardless of the material, and I don’t think it’s fair to characterize him that way, even as a “way to get in” type of deal. Frankly, if you say something is a sin but feel differently about it inside, it doesn’t really matter. You did the same damage regardless.

[queenofthearchipelago]

As a professional pianist, I can confirm that Crowley's playing would be riddled with mistakes because of snake-like posture. From these gifs I can also tell he'd use too much force in his wrist and it would eventually cause him pain. His quality of movement would not be healthy at all.

What I'm getting at is that Crowley needs a teacher and I volunteer

I have a headcanon that Crowley can play the piano. I mean. Look at his hands. They're made for the piano.

This stunning creature is a pianist, though he'd never admit it. But I'm telling you. You can't have hands like that and not be. You just can't.

(Fun fact as an aside, according to a very brief perusal of the internet, David Tennant does - or did in 2013 - actually play to some extent. I'm serious. Piano hands are a real thing.)