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balkanradfem · 10 months ago

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Anti capitalistic methods of self reliance!

Everyday items:

Plastic bags can be replaced by cloth bags you can sew, without any prior knowledge of sewing, from any old shirt you were going to throw away

Toilet paper can partly or completely be replaced by 'Family cloth', which is a series of cloth napkins cut to the size you like, which are then washed after each use! There's no risk of disease if only used for number one, for number two they need to be submerged into peroxide liquid in order to be safely cleaned. Even if you only use them for number one to stay safe, being reusable and costing nothing they will save you a lot in not having to buy toilet paper

Paper towels can be replaced by little cut-out cloths you can easily wash after use, or a simple kitchen and bathroom cloth for cleaning

Paper tissues have originally been handkerchiefs, washable and reusable, zero waste option (and they can be very pretty too!)

Laundry detergent can be replaced by horse chestnuts, or conkers! If cut open and submerged in water, they will produce soapy water, which is equally good at cleaning as your laundry detergent, completely environmentally friendly and free if you foraged the chestnuts. They can be collected and dried to use for the entire year, and you can tie them up in a sock to put in your washing machine.

Cleaning products can be replaced by vinegar, and if you hate the smell you can change it by infusing citrus peels in it! It will smell like oranges and lemons after you leave them in there for a few weeks

Cleaning products can also be self-made, by fermenting food scraps, it's called 'enzyme cleaner' and it can clean most of things in a completely environmentally friendly way!

Shampoo can be self-made, or replaced with options like herbal teas, which will also ensure that your hair no longer gets greasy, as grease is the result of using shampoo

Menstrual pads can be sown from any discarded pieces of cloth, they only need to be submerged in cold water after use in order for blood to wash out. Additionally you can make washable menstrual panties, which make sure your pads don't move in there!

Simple medicine for aches like stomach cramps, headaches, anxiety, sore throat can be found in the basic knowledge of herbalism, and simply making teas from herbs that soothe these issues. They will not be able to cure a heavy disease, but are able to provide momentary relief from annoying aches!

Immunity booster syrup can be made out of elderberries, if you're careful about not getting any seeds or stems in!

if you're growing food, you can grow your own dish sponges, and washing sponges, the plant is called 'Loofah' and you can grow a whole lot in one season then use them for years

Reuse plastic items for as long as you can, to lessen the amount being thrown into landfills, and if you need new items, aim to get a not-plastic one

If you have lots of paper trash or newspapers, you can learn to make baskets from it.

Instead of throwing away food scraps, you can try setting up a simple composting bin and also get some valuable free soil, that is great for growing little plants and herbs in it

If you're composting on a big scale, the heat compost produces can be used to heat a room

getting into hobbies like soap making, pottery, woodcarving, sewing, knitting or weaving can also save you a lot of purchasing because you realize you can simply make that thing yourself, and in better quality than it would be available at the store

Saving water and energy:

Accumulating water in a big pot while you're washing dishes, then using that water to water your houseplants is safe, especially if you're not using a lot of detergent, and it saves a lot of water

To save energy when cooking in a pot in the stove, wait until your pot starts boiling, then take it off the stove, and wrap it in a cloth, then a towel, then a blanket, and leave it wrapped up. The layers of cloth are making it difficult for the heat to escape the pot, ensuring it will keep very high temperature for half an hour, cooking as if it was on the stove. If it needs to cook longer, you can just put in on the stove for a minute to get it back to boil. You can cook pasta, rice, beans, potatoes, soups, stews, risotto, pretty much anything with long cooking time like this.

If your water boiler is big, you don't need to leave it on at all times, I've reduced my electricity bills by a lot by turning it on only when I intend to use the hot water. In the summer, if you have access to a natural body of water, use that for washing!

If you own a property, watch where the water is naturally going and accumulating; you can collec t this water and set up a system to use it for gardening/any outdoor use

if you're building a structure, making sure that the sun hits the windows in the winter, and that the place is protected from the wind by growing trees as a wind shield, will save loads of energy in heating and cooling it, as well as making sure the structure is well insulated

Heat/cool only the parts of the structure/house that you're using, making it both environmentally friendly and ensuring you don't have a too big temperature difference when you go outside, making you healthier

Try an experiment were you go a day without electricity and see what you can use as alternative in this situation; it's okay if you fail, it will provide you with knowledge of how dependant you are on the energy, and the ideas of what you can possibly do when without!

Clothing:

If sewing clothing from scratch is something that appeals to you, that is ideal for self-reliance! It is likely that after just a bit of practice, you'll be able to sew more quality items than are sold, because current fashion items are made to fall apart, and you can make your clothing strong and durable.

Sharing clothing you no longer want to wear, and letting others know they can offer their unwanted pieces to you can provide you not only with practical clothing, but you can use all fabric, buttons, zippers and other materials to sew! You can, again with minimal practice and even by hand-sewing, make your own bags, tablecloths, placemats, pillows, blankets, decorations, hats and scarfs

Visible mending, embroidering, adding details or creating your own little alterations on clothing will not only provide a sense of accomplishment, but enrich your life in the way of skill development and being able to make and mend things with little resources

Learning about history of textiles and what fast fashion is doing to the environment provides appreciation and love for sewing and creating textiles, and could inspire you to try and see how it feels to do!

Any piece of clothing that is no longer fit to be remade into something new, can still be cut into pieces and used for cleaning, as a paper towel replacement, for wiping the floor or wiping your shoes, and if it's soft, for pillow filling!

For extra clothing or furniture, you can join online groups named 'buy nothing' and 'sharing is caring', where people will often gift extra clothes and furniture for free, sometime appliances and electronics too

Food:

If any outside space is available, learning to garden is an excellent investment in food security

Seeds can be harvested from plants you already have, gifted from neighbour or friend gardeners, and some can even be taken out of store-bought produce

Soil can be taken from the forest ground which has composted leaves as topsoil, dig under a tree for best results

If no outside space is availabe, dwarf plants, herbs, and greens can be grown in containers, clean your air while they also provide food

Learning to forage for wild edible plants will provide both entertainment and free food! Any wild plant you find is likely to be more rich in nutrients than a cultivated plant, making your diet well rounded and healthy

Learning to grow trees and care for them will provide free food not only for you, but for generations to come, as well as offset the damage from the climate change. Knowing how trees work and how to prune and nourish them is powerful knowledge.

Preserving food:

Ways of preserving your food long-term are curing (for onions, potatoes, garlic, pumpkins), canning (tomatoes, peppers, fruit), fermenting (cabbage, hot peppers, turnips), dehydrating and sun-drying (tomatoes, fruit, herbs, hot peppers, mushrooms)

Growing and collecting food during warm months and then saving them for winter was done by people for centuries and it provides a safe and reliable access to food all year round

Buying cheap produce when it's in-season and preserving it can save you a lot of money and bring you far in self-reliance

Making your own recipes and then getting to eat them later in the season bring a sense of accomplishment and pride, as well as providing a zero waste food option

Cooking food from scratch is made easier by having some of your food preserved, because a lot of the time you've already prepaired most of your ingredients, and only have to place them in the pot

If you already know to make your own bread, you can also try making your own yeast, by mixing flour and water, and letting it ferment while adding more flour and water every day. It can last forever.

If you're interested in knowing more about gardening, herbalism, tree care, and foraging, check the 'Homesteading Survival Knowledge' masterlist, filled with links on these specific topics!

These are not ideas that anyone should quickly or immediately integrate in their life; instead, trying whatever seems interesting and appealing, slowly learning about it and trying one thing at the time is more encouraging and sustainable! I myself have spent years learning and integrating these, enabling me to feel happy and confident doing any and all of this. If this is overwhelming, pick whatever feels appealing and do only that! Forget the rest until it feels easy and fun thing to try out.

#anti capitalism #homesteading #self reliance #permaculture #alternatives to capitalism #growing food #environment #zero waste

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honeytonedhottie · 8 months ago

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honey's guide to spring⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪷

i've been preparing this post for a while bcuz i LOVE spring and for this spring i just wanna embody feminine, fairy, dream-like beauty in my day-to-day this spring, and just enjoy it fully.

THE MOOD FOR SPRING : planting new seeds, fresh fruit, and bouquets of flowers. tea parties and floral prints and perfumes. green grapes, hibiscus tea and waking up early to see the sunrise.

PREPARATION FOR SPRING : stock up on your favorite fruits and teas. if u want fruits that are in season, the fruits in season during spring include strawberries, cherries, blueberries, kiwis, bananas and nectarines. my favorite spring time tea is hibiscus and i love a good matcha during all seasons but especially spring, and lastly a good citrus tea is always something that i enjoy.

if ur someone who experiences rly bad allergies during the spring make sure that u go to ur doctors for a check up, and make sure that u have everything that you'll need to combat allergies.

THE PLAYLIST : a good playlist is always essential so my spring playlist consists of : eternal sunshine - jhene aiko. は��なつあきふゆ - ichiko aoba. afterglow - luna li. pisces - yerin baek. fairy of shampoo - TXT. scenery - red velvet. hydrangea love - TXT. cool with you - newjeans. salad days - iiso. pov - ariana grande. lyricist - heize.

REFRESH : time for spring cleaning both mentally and physically. analyze what habits are nourishing u and which habits are drying you out. analyze ur space and do a deep cleaning, that way u can feel lighter both mentally and physically.

wash ur sheets, maybe even buy fresh sheets (floral printed sheets for spring ofc)

go thru ur closet and put the winter and autumn clothes towards the back and bring the spring clothes where they're more accessible and visible

deep clean ur room and clean ur house -> get onto clean-tok for some cleaning motivation cuz watching videos of people cleaning and organizing always motivates me to do so too

create new pinterest boards and delete ones that u dont use, or if u want to, create a completely new pinterest account. i've grown attached to my pinterest account so i won't delete it, but i've made lots of other accounts on separate devices

oftentimes we forget to clean what we use the most, and that buildup can cause our tools to be counterproductive, and just carry a lot of unnecessary germs so here are some things not to forget to clean and organize ;

behind ur ears

ur earbuds or headphones

ur skincare tools and devices (gua shas, face rollers)

ur phone screen

ur folders, binders, and folders

CULTIVATING CREATIVITY :

create something - do some painting, start a sketchbook, start dabbling in some poetry, maybe write a short story, cultivate an elite playlist etc etc

connecting with nature - go and get some fresh air, wake up earlier than usual to watch and enjoy the sunrise. drink different teas that you've never tried before, go to a local crystal shop if ur into that, make urself an elaborate platter of ur favorite fruits. go for a walk in the park, pick flowers and speaking of flowers, go and buy urself a pretty bouquet.

create a spring-time mood board

TENDING THE GARDEN OF THE MIND :

ofc i MUST talk about the mind in any of my posts bcuz its just so incredible. but what you think matters!! what u think manifests! the thoughts that u continue to water and entertain are what you will experience. therefore when u change ur thoughts and water the seeds of the new thought, you'll get a new flower.

its like gardening. your thought is the seed, and ur mind is the soil. when u entertain ur thoughts ur watering the seed, and you'll get a new flower, the flower is the new experience. so this spring, plant new thoughts and entertain those thoughts ✨

FUN SPRING-LIKE THINGS :

picking flowers -> buying yourself a bouquet

have a tea party by yourself or with friends (reference my tea party post if u need some inspo)

make a bracelet or anklet out of flowers

take a bath and infuse the bath with things like rose petals, rose scented bath milks etc

crystal shopping (last year i added amethyst to my crystal collection, this year i'd love to add selenite into my collection)

watch a 90's anime (i've watched sailor moon about a MILLION times and im gonna rewatch it again this year bcuz its just the girliest, best anime i've watched and is one of my favorites)

so i hope that this post sparked some ideas on ways that u can enjoy your spring girlies ✨

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ad-caelestia · 1 month ago

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basic ass witch tips 🔮

[revised post from ~2018 & last edited on 9.29.24]

please note that these are all related to things i have actually seen discussed or mentioned. please do your research before blindly following the advice of someone online, myself included.

if you're on some kind of medication, including but not limited to hormonal birth control, heart medication, and anti-depressants, double check with your healthcare professional/provider [HCP] before you drink that new tea you just bought.

always, always, always tell your HCP before trying any kind of herbal supplement, whether it’s something you made yourself or something you bought at the store.

have a diagnosed medical condition? talk to your HCP before ingesting anything or putting anything on your body that you aren’t familiar with.

don’t. drink. essential. oils. essential oils are not consumable!!!!!

citrus oils can cause photosensitivity, or being sensitive to light and more susceptible to sunburns so be mindful when using these oils on your skin.

if it hasn't been emphasized enough, PLEASE dilute your essential oils before use! common carrier oils are grapeseed, castor, olive, coconut, avocado, almond, etc.

oil and water don't mix, so you would need to use an alcohol based solution with essential oils to dilute them that way (if you plan to use them for a spray or something of that nature).

be mindful of using sprays, incense, powders, etc. that could release particulates into the air around pets or those who have allergies, respiratory issues, etc.

don't involve your pets in your practice in a way that could be harmful to them - no essential oils on them, no crystals in their water bowl, no moon water that's been sitting on your shelf for weeks.

i beg you, please don't put crystals in any uh bodily orifices.

there are some herbs you absolutely cannot burn (or use safely, really) for any reason, so make sure you're educated on all that beforehand; yew, for example, is highly toxic and potentially fatal if consumed or inhaled. the leaves, bark, and seeds contains a chemical called taxine, which is what some of the most hardcore chemotherapies are made from so keep that in the back of your mind.

that being said, please wear gloves and use common sense if you decide to forage for your own herbs or plants. i know that plant identifying apps exist so if you have a smartphone, that might be a good place to start.

putting salt on grass does a couple of things: salt removes moisture from the soil, thus drying out the grass and killing it; and, salt causes chloride to build up in the soil, thus making it toxic which inhibits chlorophyll production, leading the grass to eventually "starve" and die - please don't do this.

don't leave candles unattended - even small ones; it's not a good habit to get into.

also!! crystal balls in direct sunlight can cause a fire so be careful!

more fire stuff - be mindful of the environment and also safety so check for burn bans before you make a fire outdoors.

sterile lancets, not needles or pins. that's all i'm gonna say about that.

don't drink water you collected from anywhere outside unless you plan to properly filter it first.

if you plan to store water for later use (moon water, for example), refrigerate it or set it in a cool, dark place.

distilled water is free of minerals and contaminants so it has a longer shelf life than tap or bottled water - keep this in mind when making charged waters or other potion type things.

fresh herbs or other things of that nature left at room temperature can also grow super harmful bacteria. for example, putting raw garlic in olive oil and leaving it at room temperature will end as a breeding ground for botulism and mold.

be safe out there!

#witchcraft #witchblr #witch #witchy #beginner witch #ad-caelestia

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usopps-devotee · 1 year ago

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I'm on the floor. I love him so much ♡♡♡ also I have plants of my own so best believe we would be plant parents together. Also, 100/10 would wear anything he wants me to without question, but I can't promise my ADD won't make it vanish into thin air

who do u ship ur moots with and why?

With me ,cuz they no one would love them like I would

I did it once on valentine but imma do it again cuz I like matching Characters with ppl for fun,if I forget someone my apologies ngl

@swampstew with Rustass Kid,I feel she could actually either fix him or make him worse ,but either way I think it will be interesting to watch that develop ,beside she is the canon wife of his ,I think u can see her in the last appearance of kid ,helping him, definitely happened, don't go check it ,trust me I'm a reliable source

@nekomacheercaptain weirdly enough,not Corazan ,but I feel she would work better with Ace ,I think he could keep up with her cat in heat energy and will be very cool dude to chill with for her,And won't catch on fire (he won't mind it if he did) and if she tripped he will help her, it's very beneficial to all parties involved

@downforsanji I think sabo would be a very suitable candidate for her, mostly cuz I think she deserves someone who always wear nice clothes and gloves plus he kinda goofy when he is in love which why I think they might hit it off ,she will though have to deal with him giggling and kicking his feet everytime Luffy is on the newspaper so idk

@luffyinlove with Luffy,I think she can fix him ,and he is like a stray dog you feed once and he never leave your side,I feel she would accidentally fed him once and he think they are meant to be now,I think she can tame him or something idk something

@sanjis-all-blue Rob Lucci ,she can fix him ,I think he would be head over heels for her but never admits it ,then he will be like a cat always near her till Hattori ask her on his behalf on a date,it goes well,as long you ignore he sometimes tries to bite her out of spite or his sociopathic behaviors,it's a 9/10 relationship

@zoros-sheath Smoker ,I think she can definitely pull him,he would be like very shy around her and all grumpy but melt like putty when she caress his cheeks,he would be very nice and carry her to safety when time need that, cuz he built difference and can't Express his affection without begin protective

@lawsvalentine kuzan, because she put me with shanks and I haven't forget but I'm nicer so I will give her a half cooked dilf,he would be lazy af and sleep on top her so she doesn't get up to work , definitely carry her in his bag like ppl who carry Thier Chihuahua in Thier bags kind of couples energy

@icy-spicy killer because she deserves a man with big tities and great personality that isn't a part of the red hair shanks pirates, I think also killer would playfully play fight with her and give her piggy backs when they walk a long distance,pretty wholesome

@usopps-devotee Ussop, cuz that's in the name ngl,he would no cap be those aesthetic plants boyfriend and she gotta deal with it ,he put his gats or goggles on her head when he want to have them off cuz he find them cute on her and it's easier to find when they are on the person you always look at

@kenruu Mihawk, both got attractive but mysterious and intimidating energy, Probably both got very good Sharp eyeliner game,He cooks for em and Mihawk low-key bad at Romance but make up with his act of service and gifts ,lu is just chill like a punk capybara, would probably pull other one piece men if needed I think

@sanjisblackasswife legit no cap Sanji ,I think Canonly she belongs to Sanji like she can fix him,I feel it in my bones,give them one night and Sanji would be a changed man,mf will become a devoted man simping to one woman and it would be her, though he would possibly also die the moment his eyes meet her bare tities so maybe ... exposure therapy with him Slowly so he doesn't die and she get a happy long relationship

@roronoaswifey Zoro, I think he deserve a cute wife ,she is good wife energy and also very pretty so they can be power pretty couples plus I think she can get him on a leash and stop him from drinking so much , maybe get him addicted to pussy idk ,but she definitely fix him

@chiquititaosita 🧍 Sir crocodile, I think she deserves a dilf that can give her everything she want and need plus she got the energy of having a daddy kink so probably he can help with that

@quinloki Doflamingo,I think they can make him worse and unhinged but he might stick to Thier side ,also he would probably enjoy Thier rants and opinions ngl ,they would be oddly wholesome together

#high☆talks #also did you know weed is actually very healthy for soil #it is also planted with othet plants in crop field to help restore the soil #also works great with citrus cotton and lavender #so long story short nami orange trees wont be the only plants to protect on the sunny #night☆owls

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anipgarden · 1 year ago

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Adding To or Starting a Garden

AKA, the beginning of the Plants-Related section of this series.

This is my third post in a series I’ll be making on how to increase biodiversity on a budget! I’m not an expert--just an enthusiast--but I hope something you find here helps!

Got an area of lawn you’d like to convert to a wildlife haven? An area you can stick some hanging baskets in? Want to know how your garden of tomatoes and zucchinis is already putting in a lot of work? This is the section for you!

It would be dumb of me to not acknowledge that the act of gardening can come with a lot of costs. Buying seeds, buying plants, buying soil, raised bed materials, mulch, etc. … it can all get a bit daunting, let’s be honest! But there’s quite a few ways to get seeds and plants for free or extremely cheap, which I’ll be addressing in this section! The next section will be all about addressing the other Costs in gardening and how to mitigate or eliminate them entirely.

Also, do keep in mind; there’s no need to try and convert a whole area from lawn to garden or unused to garden at once. In fact, it could actually be extremely beneficial to do it a little at a time--maybe four or five square feet to start out.

Front Lawn (or Managing Principles)

If you live in a place where you’re required to have a grass turf lawn (HOA’s come to mind…), try replacing it with native grasses instead! You could even possibly use a low-growing ground cover plant like clover to a similar effect! Reseeding/replacing an entire lawn can be a big upfront cost, but even just letting the lawn be a little messy and tall helps. If the lawn gets patchy, leave the bare spots for a little while and something different will likely pop up! Pioneer species will fill the gaps and provide benefits to other plants around them, support animals, and more! If you want to take the guesswork out of it, you could always research what the pioneer species are in your area and plant the ones you like most.

Obtaining Seeds for Cheap or Free

The cheapest way to start a garden is by far via seeds. However, seeds can be a bit complicated to grow, and some sources make them… way overpriced. Fortunately there are ways to get seeds for little to no cost!

Some places sell seeds for as low as a dollar, 50 cents, or 25 cents! The packets may not have a lot of seeds, but it’s definitely a good start for a low budget! I’ve personally bought cheap seed packets at Walmart--the Ferry-Morse and Burpee brands are not what we’re looking for here. Typically the cheaper ones I’ve found are American Seed (which is owned by Green Garden Products, which also owns Ferry-Morse, Livingston Seed, McKenzie Seed, and Seeds of Change. Do with that information what you will), but they’re rarely stocked near the Ferry-Morse ones in the Formal Gardening Section. I’ve most often found them on end caps near the gardening section, so you may have to weave through a few aisles to find them, but once you do there’s an array of flower and vegetable seeds to select from! Alternatively, I’ve found seeds at Dollar Tree sold 2 or 4 for a dollar in Spring as part of their seasonal product; however, when they’re out of stock, they’re typically out of stock for the year. Try to check them out early in the year!

Otherwise, other seed companies like Urban Farmer or Botanical Interests will often have semi-frequent sales in spring and fall, when people are stocking up on seeds--joining their email lists can help you be the first to know when a good sale is going on!

Some foods from grocery stores will provide seeds that you can use in the garden as well. I’ve had the most luck with store-bought bagged beans, peppers, and tomatoes. Some people have had luck with watermelons, apples, citrus, squash, and more. Do keep in mind that you likely won’t get the same variety of fruit/vegetable as the one you bought--the resulting plant may look different and taste different.

Give it a shot! Pick some beans you like--if they don't grow well, at least you can eat the rest!

If you live in the US, food-producing live plants, bare roots, and seeds can often be purchased with SNAP benefits. But what does growing fruits, veggies, and herbs have to do with boosting biodiversity? While food crops aren’t typically native, they still provide valuable shelter for native insects. Some plants even have intricate relationships with native fauna--like the squash bee, a solitary bee which exclusively pollinates cucurbits like pumpkins, squash, and zucchini. And we get to benefit more directly as well! If you’re planting a diverse range of foods in your garden (as opposed to the swaths of single-plant farms that typically produce what’s sent to grocery stores), you’re supporting high levels of biodiversity by providing a variety of plants for creatures to live and hunt around.

Most of the time, when we think of boosting biodiversity with a garden, we think of a colorful flower garden teeming with pollinator species. However, if we’re striving to use native species, it can be a bit difficult to find some species in stores. I can say from experience that trying to find any wildflower seeds other than butterfly weed, purple coneflowers, and black-eyed-susans is… challenging, if you limit yourself to stores like Walmart, Home Depot, and Lowe’s. You might occasionally get lucky with an ACE Hardware or a local nursery, but even then sometimes it can be hard to track down who in your area is selling what--let alone if you live in an area where no one really is selling native plants or their seeds. Not to mention, even once you find a local or online store selling the seeds you want, they can sometimes cost a pretty penny. So what do you do?

If you have the option to, consider gathering native seeds yourself! Get good at identifying the native flora and fauna--or at least, a few target plants and their lookalikes--and get ready to go! Learn where they tend to grow, when they’ll be seeding, etc. Try to identify the plant before it goes to seed (for most plants, it's easiest to identify when flowering), then check back regularly to gather seeds. Typically, if I want to learn how to collect seed from a specific plant, I just search it on Google or YouTube--oftentimes, I'm lead to the GrowItBuildIt Youtube page, so it may be a helpful resource for you as well! Of course, make sure to leave plenty of seed behind so the wild population can repopulate, and seed can feed other creatures in the area. A good rule of thumb is to take no more than 1/3rd of what's available.

Buying seed in bulk is an option if you can afford the upfront cost. Try teaming up with a few friends to buy some bulk seeds and split them amongst yourselves--you’ll get tons of seed! Prairie Moon is a popular site that'll sell seeds by the pound if you can afford the price--though they're in the US, and I believe they focus on Midwest and East Coast natives.

If you want to cheat the system, don’t buy bulk sunflower seeds--buy bags of sunflower seeds being sold as birdseed. They’re typically all black oil sunflower seeds, but they’ll sprout, and they’re fairly cheap for the amount you get!

However, beware generic wildflower seed mixes! Many brands like to sell wildflower seed mixes in big box stores like Home Depot, Target, or even Dollar Tree, but they’ll often include flowers that aren’t native or possibly even invasive in your region! Before you make any purchases, double check to make sure the contained seeds won’t do more harm than good! A quality source of native seeds will provide English and Latin names for all seeds included, and will be native to the region or at least non-invasive.

See this? I don't trust this.

There’s a good handful of programs online that’ll send you free seeds if you’re planning to start a native habitat project! Poke around online and see what you can find; you might get lucky! The best time to start looking for these is fall and winter, I find--by early spring, many of them are either done or beginning to wind down... though some also start up in spring. Ultimately--just check regularly! You never know what you can find!

Other Ways to Get Plants

Don’t want to start from seed? That’s fair! You can try cuttings! Just be sure not to take too much of the plant while you do so. Make sure you’ve gotten a few leaf nodes on your cutting, and cut any flowers you may have gotten. Make sure to leave some blooms and foliage on the original plant for the creatures in the current habitat--you don’t want to destroy one habitat to make another in your garden. There’s tons of methods of rooting cuttings, many of which have different efficacy rates for different plants, but that’s a topic for another post.

If you find seedlings growing in a place where they won’t be able to sustain themselves long-term, or are in danger of being destroyed, consider relocating them! You may be able to gently dig up and transplant the seedling to your garden. Don’t do this if they’re in a place where they can easily survive--ideally, you’ll be taking plants from sidewalk cracks, heavily maintained public gardens, roadsides, etc. Do be careful while doing this--ensure your safety first!

You’re totally allowed to join gardening communities like clubs, facebook groups, and more before you’ve even put a trowel to the dirt. These are great places to learn information and advice! Many gardeners are more than happy to help out a new gardener, and will eagerly provide seeds, cuttings, or even baby plants! Talk to some people about your gardening journey and what you’re hoping to do, and you just might find some kindred spirits--or at least get more people interested in the topic!

Seed and plant giveaways and trades happen all the time in gardening clubs, as well as online! Just poke around and see what you can find! Some are explicitly trades, meaning you’re expected to send something in return, but once you get your feet on the ground with some plant knowledge you’ll be stellar! You may be able to explain you’re just starting out, and someone may send you seeds without expecting a trade, but I’d suggest trying giveaways first.

Poke around online and see if there’s a local chapter of your state’s native plant society. From there, you’ll likely be able to find a calendar of events--many of them will host plant sales in the spring, with a bunch of native plant seedlings ripe for the pickings if you can make it out and have some money to spare! Fair warning, though, you’ll want to get there early if you can. If they say they’re starting at 10, try to get there by 9:45. Year after year, there’s always record turnout, and they sell out of plants faster than ever. Just trust me on this. I’ve been let down; hopefully you won’t have to be.

Some libraries are beginning to host seed libraries! Check around and see if your library has one! Ideally, the system works best if you also have seeds to contribute in return, but if you’re just starting out I’m sure they won’t mind you taking some seeds! Just consider saving some seeds to contribute in the future and pay it forward. If your library doesn’t have a seed library? Consider asking if they’d be willing to start one! Community interest is a great way to get the ball rolling on projects like these, but they’ll only know the community is interested if the community tells them they’re interested!

Volunteer to Garden for/with Someone Else

Maybe someone in your area wants to garden, but is struggling to find the time/energy. Many elderly people who used to garden simply can’t anymore but still would like a garden. Other people may love to have a helping hand in their garden. You might even find a few people in your area interested in renting and sharing a community garden plot with others, so they don't have to handle it all on their own! They may be interested in increasing biodiversity right now, or may be willing to if it’s brought up to them. You might be just the kind of person someone needs! Since it won't be your garden, you’ll likely need a bit of permission and collaboration to get anything in particular going, but it’s worth a shot and a way to maybe even make friends!

Again, your mileage may vary with some of these. You may not know where there's a bunch of wildflowers growing in your area, or maybe your local library doesn't have a free seed library. That's okay! Do what you're able to, find what you can find, get what you can get! And there's never any shame with starting small--in fact, starting small can make the project easier to manage and expand when you're able!

That's the end of this post! My next post is gonna be about ways to start growing plants cheaply--low cost seed starting set ups, essentially. There's a lot of good options, many of which I've used myself even! Until then, I hope this advice is helpful! Feel free to reply with any questions, success stories, or anything you think I may have forgotten to add in!

#biodiversity #solarpunk #gardening #outdoor gardening #growing from seed #ani rambles #out of queue #the biodiversity saga #i will be honest I have never flat out approached people to offer to help them garden #HOWEVER. People HAVE approached ME asking ME to help THEM with/plan THEIR garden #granted it was after I'd been gardening for a good few years. and its mostly family or family friends but yknow #people would be like 'oh wanna help me with my veggie garden?' even before I tried growing vegetables #i don't think the library near me has a seed library but you just wait until i. get the courage. to go to the library regularly.#i've seen people also make their own little seed library structures kinda like a little free library but like #i dont think my neighborhood is about that life.#if any of yall have those though it could be a great resource! also send pics because I love seeing them #not to say that this post should become a giant seed trade but if it did become that i would be the opposite of mad #if there's any typos blame my sister shes got the hotel room at like 60-something degrees and I am FREEZING #welp time to shut up now bye

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outofangband · 10 months ago

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I really loved @gwaedhannen ‘s post about wanting more strangeness in First Age Beleriand and I had a post awhile back about potential strange ecology for Middle Earth so I wanted to revisit it with some more thoughts!

Following up to my speculative biology ideas for elves,

Like the last list, these are more jotting down ideas, please please feel free to give me any to elaborate on!

Mammoths on the Helcaraxë and other cold reaches. Tolkien talks of all creatures that walk or have ever walked the earth existing in Valinor and throughout Arda hence prehistoric and extinct species can also exist here. I do also headcanon smaller herds of woolly mammoths and woolly rhinos in northern Hithlum and north of greater Beleriand. Stellar’s sea cows in the frozen waters:(

Early cenozoic aquatic birds such as Hesperornis off the coasts of Balar and Alqualondë.

Enchanted orchards of Valinor; large, seemingly abandoned self containing gardens and orchards. There are fruit tree orchards hidden behind ivy covered walls; some always filled with Autumn breezes, citrus groves always kept warm and bright lined with lemon trees and deep green grass. Except for the Maia who tend them, the only beings who enter the orchards are elves who do so, usually by mistake.

There are places throughout Arda where the Music was not well, loud, enough. They can be the size of a footstep or a field and are not fully connected to the space time continuum. Those who tread on them will end up elsewhere in time or space and will never realize what had happened.

In the great expanses of unexplored Valinor, there are coves, glens, lagoons, and all sorts of other places that seem shift and change, being there one day and not the next. Even while walking through familiar, charted territory, there is always the possibility of ending up in a hidden clearing, covered in hanging mosses and with strange lights all around.

The forests of Beleriand are full of strange, sometimes dark creatures that have never been properly documented. They are the strange hybrids of Yavanna’s creations and Melkor’s corruption and a few have escaped the eyes of even the Ainur.

The underground lakes of Middle Earth, especially around Angband contain blind, hungry beings, nourished by the volcanic soils. Strange fungi and lichen stick to the walls of the caverns and passageways beneath the fortress.

There are hot springs in several locations in Beleriand South of the Ered Wethrin (there are many in the Ered Wethrin of course but these are not exactly relaxation destinations). Namely in Himring, throughout Hithlum, north of Barad Eithel, parts of Dorthonion, in the caves of Androth, and parts of the Ered Luin. Not all of these are used by residents and not all maintain safe temperatures or conditions but some do! In many parts of Northern Beleriand, they're used for bathing and communal relaxation. There are other springs throughout the March of Maedhros and I like the idea of Himring being built around a hot spring. There are hot and warm springs in both Nargothrond and Menengroth. The definition of warm springs differs from hot springs only in average temperature

The caves of Menengroth and Nargothrond allow elves and others access to the strange wonders of the underground world of Middle Earth. They are lit by lanterns and by certain bioluminescent plants. There are windows in key areas that allow sunlight to filter into some of the larger halls and though there are small gardens of species that do not require direct sunlight, some are stationed in the areas where sunlight filters in. A small tributary of the river Narog flows directly through one of the great halls of Nargothrond. Its flora and fauna remain untouched by the elves and algae and aquatic plants as well as small fish, salamanders in their early stages, and stranger creatures are visible to see for those who walk along it.

In realms with Ainur or certain Eldar rule, natural life may not follow typical laws. Melian has great influence over the biodiversity and climate of Doriath for example even without meaning to.

The horror potential of the boundaries of the girdle or of Nan Elmoth. Time and space distorting, the forest becoming a maze, bird calls confusing and disorienting unwary or unlucky travelers

The Ered Gorgoroth, the eerie, mysterious mountain range, bordered to the north by Dorthonion and to the south by Nan Dungortheb. It was said the spawn of Ungolian haunted these mountains and the valley. I have some more posts on this but I've always imagined there being many pools and meres in Ered Gorgoroth, many harmless though frigid and some completely corrupted by the powers of Ungoliants spawn and other beings. Unfortunately, it’s not always possible to know which was which until it was too late.

Chemical reactions causing glimmering or colorful water. Elves learn carefully when this has occurred due to natural phenomena and when it is the result of unnatural influence or Ainur presence.

Salt lakes and landlocked waters mimicking ocean conditions. I’ve always imagined there being a lake like lake Baikal in the March of Maedhros

More Bioluminescence

The realms draped in dragon reek especially around Nargothrond. The pools of Ivrin are ruined by Glaurung and they are the source of the river Narog, the largest tributary to Sirion. The entire land could be poisoned. I imagine that plants wither or lose color, birds and frogs stay silent, animals are thrown off of their natural cycles, The orchards in the hills barren or producing foul fruit, strange happenings resulting from drinking from the river Narog or even eating animals that drank from it…

Alternatively the effects of the water where the power of Ulmo is still strong such as in Nan Tathren or the Twilit Meres

#the silmarillion #beleriand #musing and meta #Valinor #Doriath #ered gorgoroth #I hope these are ok I’m very tired

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sparklypinkflightsuit · 8 months ago

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Blessed Be: Chapter 2

Pairing: Detective!Bob Floyd x Reader

WitchAU

Summary: You and Bob have the perfect day, but you have to walk away.

Warnings: Witchcraft, Magic, Sexual Themes, Slow Burn, Mentions of Death, Alcohol, Swearing, Smut, Fluff, Angst, I think that’s it?

- Chapter 1 Here -

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As agreed, Bob pulled up to your house at 11am. He got out of his car and adjusted his shirt sleeves so they rested comfortably above his forearms. He smoothed back his long hair and took a deep breath, before walking up the porch to your front door. He knocked softly and waited.

“Hi Bob.”

Bob swung around to find you behind him, slightly startled. “Mornin’ Bree.” He chuckled. God his eyes looked even better when the sun was on his face. You took a moment to admire him.

“Were you outside already, or do you have a secret door I don’t know about?” He joked.

You smiled, “I was just checking on my lavender down the end of the garden, heard you pull up.” You confirmed.

“Can I see your plants before we go?” He asked sheepishly.

“Yeah, sure.” You beckoned for him to follow you around the back to where your greenhouse and outdoor plants sat growing marvellously in the partial sun and shade from the large tree that hung over the porch.

“Wow.” He breathed, “You sure do have a green thumb. I love gardening but I wouldn’t say I’m great at it.” He laughed, bending down to rub a piece of lavender gently between his thumb and index finger. The smell filled his nostrils and his shoulders visibly relaxed.

“I think it’s all down to the soil and sun. But it helps to talk to them.” You said as you bent down to inspect your hydrangea bush.

Bob nodded with a smile but said nothing as he admired you. You looked beautiful in your white linen sundress, your hair falling over your eyes as you stood back up.

“Shall we?” You asked with a grin.

“We shall.” Bob quipped back, biting his lip gently as he followed you to the car.

Bob couldn’t help but relish in the fact that when he was around you, that almost constant tugging and gnawing feeling inside him disappeared. It was replaced instead with a sense of serenity, excitement and something else he couldn’t quite place, and it was becoming addictive.

Bob opened the passenger door for you and you slid into the seat. The first thing you noticed was how neat his car was, and the smell of citrus flooded your senses. It was fresh and for some reason reminded you of days down on the beach with your parents as a child. You relaxed into the seat and took a deep breath in through your nose.

As Bob climbed into the driver seat, he looked over at you with a grin, “Where to, Madam Tour-guide?”

You laughed and rested your head against the seat. “Hmmm… ok drive down to the harbour, I have a secret little place in mind.”

Bob bit the inside of his cheek as he pulled away to suppress the smile he so badly wanted to let out, but was afraid he’d look like a lunatic if he kept grinning this way all day.

You made small talk on the drive, holding back on bigger in depth questions that you wanted to ask but knew this would only draw you closer to him. Your giddiness was suddenly overcome with sadness as you remembered you were going to say goodbye to Bob for good after today.

“You okay?” Bob asked, noticing how suddenly you’d gone quiet as you stared out the window.

“Mhmm.” You lied, forcing a smile. Bob didn’t buy it, but he didn’t feel it was his place to pry, so smiled right back encouragingly.

You pulled up to the harbour and Bob quickly rounded your end of the car to open your door.

“Ever the gentleman.” You chuckled.

“So where are we going?” He asked, curiously eyeing the harbour for any restaurants, cafes or food stalls.

“Follow me Mr Floyd.” You said as you turned towards the cliff side, and Bob suddenly felt a shiver run down his spine. Not a shiver of dread, or anticipation, no. A shiver of excitement at how you said his name. He wasn’t sure why but it made his heart race even more, perhaps it was the seductive way you said it, or the fact that you even remembered his last name to begin with.

“Yes ma’am.” He chuckled, and followed you onto small sand bank that made way to a narrow path along the cliffside.

You walked for about 10 minutes, and eventually the small path gave way to a ledge overhanging the sea. It was high up enough that the waves couldn’t reach you, but low enough that he hadn’t noticed the gradual incline of the pathway. There were a few trees cushioning the ledge from the intimidating cliff behind you, and it was completely secluded from everyone and everything, and breathtakingly beautiful.

Suddenly you placed a picnic basket on the ground, and Bob was sure he hadn’t seen you carrying it around, but chalked it up to him being completely distracted by how beautiful you looked.

You sprawled a blanket on the ground and sat down, unloading the baskets contents neatly in front of you. Bob watched in awe as finger sandwiches, pastries, fruits, chocolates and chips in neat little bowls were laid out in front of him.

“This is… so sweet.” Was all he could breath out as he came to sit next to you.

You grinned, “Well I wanted to make you feel welcome, and this is my favourite spot on the island, couldn’t think of a better place.”

“I do feel welcome. Thank you for going through the trouble.” He smiled at you earnestly, piling the finger foods on his plate.

“You thirsty?” You asked, pulling out a bottle of your home made iced tea. Bob nodded, mouth full of sandwich.

You handed him a glass of iced tea and sat back on your elbows as you watched the sea in front of you. This was your idea of a perfect date, but you knew you couldn’t get too comfortable.

Comfortable meant danger in your family, especially when it came to men.

“This is really good.” He said having taken a sip of the iced tea. He noticed the glass bottle had no label. “You made this?” He said in awe.

“Yeah, it’s just peaches and mint.” You chuckled.

Bobs eyebrows pulled together, “I love peaches, and mint. It’s like you knew.” He took another sip and let out an exaggerated moan.

Bob was getting comfortable around you, and as much as that made your insides flutter, you knew you couldn’t let him. Suddenly you stood up and walked to the edge, arms wrapped around yourself as you tried to push the fuzzy feelings away.

“Did I do something?” Bob worried out loud, standing and making his way over to where you stood.

“No, no it’s not you Bob.” You didn’t turn to face him, you couldn’t or you feared your desire would take over.

“What’s wrong?” He asked softly, his hand gently moved to touch your arm to get you to face him.

As soon as he touched you a spark of electricity ran from your skin through his fingers. Not painful, but hot and intense, like a flash fire.

Bob pulled away quickly and looked at his hand, this one was harder to ignore than the one you had felt yesterday in your store, and you spun round with wide eyes to look at Bob.

“Did you… did you feel that?” Bob stammered, flexing his fingers to make sure everything still worked. You nodded, rubbing the spot on your arm that he had touched.

“Are you okay?” You asked, still in shock at the sheer force of what you felt.

Bob nodded, and gulped audibly. “Are you?” He asked, eyebrows pinched together in confusion and concern.

You nodded. “Must be the humidity.” You mumbled.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Bree?” Bob pressed, moving back over to you, but remaining at a safe distance. If anything, he wanted to feel the electricity again, it was unlike any physical thing he’d felt before, and left him with a sense of adrenaline that had him practically panting.

You nodded again, but your eyes were sad. You knew in a matter of hours this would be over and you’d never see Bob again. For a stranger, you felt it painfully hard to let him go.

You faked a smile and suggested you finish your picnic, changing the subject quickly. You asked Bob about his childhood, what he was like in school, and if he enjoyed his job. Bob knew something was wrong but understood you didn’t want to discuss it, so bought into your distraction.

Bob told you that he was quite nerdy in school, but his job as a detective had hardened him slightly, and brought him out of his shell.

He asked you why everyone thought you were a witch, and you laughed and told him because you were. Bob thought you were joking and laughed back, the incident prior being quickly forgotten as you enjoyed your company in the baking early afternoon sun.

The hours quickly passed and the sun began to set over the ocean. You felt as though you had been there mere minutes, not wanting to admit the day was soon to be over.

You both packed up the picnic basket and dusted off the blanket, before making your way back down the path back to the harbour. It was a silent walk, and Bob could sense the shift. Something was still eating away at you.

Once you reached the car, he opened the passenger door for you, but you didn’t move to climb in. You stayed on your spot and bit the inside of your cheek, contemplating your next words.

You took a deep breath and sighed, “I really like you, Bob.”

His eyes lit up, and he smiled from ear to ear, smoothing his hair down as he walked towards you.

“I really like you too, Bree.” He breathed.

“But I can’t see you anymore.” You countered.

Bobs smile faltered. He laughed, “What do you mean?”

You sighed again, louder this time, covering your face with both hands as your frustration overtook you.

“Hey, hey! Bree, what’s going on?” Bob asked you, suddenly worried. He gently took your arms and pulled your hands away from your face, ignoring the force of the electric shock that shook through him.

You looked at him through watery eyes, “I wished for you, Bob.” You whimpered.

“Bree, that’s not a bad thing. I wished for you to.” He laughed gently, smiling down at you with so much affection it took your breath away.

You forced yourself out of his gentle grip and backed away from him slowly.

“You don’t understand.” You breathed.

“Then explain it to me, please.” He begged, walking towards you again.

“I can’t.” You shook your head, holding a hand out to stop him from coming any closer. “You need to go back home, Bob. I’m sorry.”

You turned and left Bob confused and dazed in the car park of the harbour, unable to comprehend what had just happened. His heart sank at the thought of never seeing you again, and the pulling feeling began to grow again, urging him in your direction as you walked away.

As you walked, you began to cry, and the further away from Bob you got, the darker the feeling inside you grew. Plants on either side of you began to wilt and die, as you climbed the steep winding road back to your house.

When you got home, you went straight to your bedroom. Your mom didn’t even need to ask what had happened, she knew, and she followed you to your bedroom to comfort you.

Bob climbed back in his car and just sat there for several minutes, he rubbed his jaw as he tried to make sense of everything. Bob had no idea what was happening, but he did know one thing.

He was not leaving.

————————————

It took you a long time to fall asleep that night, and when you did, your dreams were plagued by horrible nightmares of Bob falling. He was falling deeper and deeper into a dark abyss, clawing at the air and crying out to you. His cries grew more and more desperate, until eventually he disappeared into the abyss and you woke up sweating. This happened three times, but on the third you woke up and the goosebumps were back.

You rubbed your arms in an attempt to get rid of them, but they stubbornly returned no matter what you tried.

Frustrated, you got up and went downstairs to grab a glass of water from the kitchen.

About halfway down the stairs you heard the familiar clatter of the broom hitting the floor.

“What the?” You mumbled as you reached the bottom of the stairs. You walked into the dark kitchen and looked for any signs of life.

You snapped your fingers and the candles on the windowsill lit up, illuminating the kitchen in a soft glow. You filled up a glass of water and snapped your fingers again to put out the candles, before walking back up to bed.

You closed your bedroom door and walked over to your night stand, taking a sip of water and putting the glass down, before climbing back into bed in the hopes of getting a decent sleep until morning.

Laying back on your pillow, you closed your eyes and breathed. “Go to sleep. Go to sleep.” You begged yourself, focussing on the bursts of colour behind your eyelids.

Just as you felt yourself dozing off, you thought you heard a light tapping noise. Your eyes flew open as you strained your ears.

You couldn’t hear anything, so you closed your eyes again, but it wasn’t long before there was another slightly louder tap.

Sitting up in bed, you strained your eyes, trying to figure out what the source of the noise was.

Tap.

The window.

You got out of bed quickly and crossed the room to the big window that overlooked the back garden and cliffside.

Tap. A stone.

You opened the window and leaned out to check who it was throwing stones at your window so late at night.

Your breath caught in your throat as your heart stuttered.

“Bob?”

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- Chapter 3 Here -

Notes: I just wanted to say a huge thank you to every like and reblog so far💛 it means so much that people are enjoying this story and thank you in advance to everyone who shows the love!

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theblasianwitch · 1 year ago

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Easiest Plants to Grow

Based on my experience

TOMATOES: So long as it's not ones that have been introduced to the cold, you can literally take the seeds out (goop and all) and put it in soil, lightly cover with dirt, water and leave it. As it grows you will pretty much need to water it every other day but they're very good at letting you know. As soon as the leaves droop or curl a bit, water them and they'll be good again in an hour or so.

CATNIP: It just.... keeps... growing... and it multiplies.... easily. It should be the rabbits of the plant world. I find I prone the parent plant almost every other week because of how fast it grows. Some cuttings I place in water and they form roots in just a couple days. I still have the parent plant and now five babies from it. My plan is for a cat garden hopefully soon.

PEPPER: Similar to tomatoes, keep out of the cold, take the seeds inside and just plant it. Mine is 3 feet tall already after just a couple monthes.

These next ones take some before prep but once you do it they pretty much got it handled.

LEMON: To plant a lemon you do have to peel the seeds (thus may apply to all citrus fruits but I haven't found a lot of seeds in oranges and grapefruits yet to try). Once again, keep from cold, take out the seeds, and... peel them. This takes time and a careful hand. I use a sharp knife and lightly slice a line in the the seed and lift the outer layer up to peel it completely. It will be slippery at first and then a smooth hard seed inside. Those are what you plant. Once planted they germinate and sprout using various germination methods and grow and a steady rate. I currently have three saplings and a container of pre peeled seeds

DRAGONFRUIT: I was quite surprised by this one. I have neglected these seeds quite often and yet they're still going. I got the seeds by slicing the dragonfruit and putting it between paper towels and gentle smushing and rubbing it between them. The seeds separate on the paper and from there you can honestly leave them in the paper towel with a little water to germinate before planting. They grow like little cacti at first which is probably why they survive so long despite my forgetfulness to water them

Will let yall know if I learn more. Everything was planted indoors in rooms with large windows for light, nothing is outdoors at the moment.

#witchblr #witches of tumblr #witch community #baby witch #green witch #green witchcraft #indoor garden #gardening

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bun-lapin · 1 year ago

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Confessions

Summary: Trey confesses his love to you.

A/N: It took longer than I planned, but I finally finished the 8th one shot for this series! It's Trey Clover's turn this time! With this entry, I've finally written a one shot for every dorm~ <3

Confessions series: Rook, Kalim, Idia, Floyd, Vil, Silver, Leona, Trey / AO3

As you leisurely step down the garden path, you let out a comfortable sigh and take in a deep breath. The air on your skin is warm and pleasantly humid, perfumed with the scent of countless flowers and fresh soil. The light of sunset tints the glass windows of the botanical garden in glittering hues of dark gold and, as far as your eyes can see, you are surrounded by countless of shades of green.

Rounding a corner, you spy a softly textured shade of dark green that seems to stand out among the lightly colored vegetation in the distance. A playful smile blooms over your face and you let out a soft whistle from your lips. The dark green head of hair turns at the sudden sound and you see two warm hazel eyes, initially wide with questioning, soften into recognized affection at the sight of you.

You call out to the distant figure, “Trey!” As your pace quickens, you raise a hand in greeting. Before too long, your steps lead you to stand directly in front of him. “What are you doing in here? I thought you wanted to meet up outside.”

Trey gives you a soft and slightly bashful smile as he explains, “I got here a little early and thought I should check on my strawberry plants while I was in the area. Sorry about that. I hope I didn’t make you wait too long before you came looking for me.”

You smile warmly at him and say, “You’re fine. I just got here and came straight in when I didn’t see you.”

Trey lets out a small laugh of relief and says, “Well, that’s good to hear.” Pinching the side of his glasses, he studies your face with mild concern and asks, “Hey, are you feeling alright? You look pretty tired.”

You raise a hand in reassurance and breezily reply, “I’m fine, I’m fine! Don’t worry about me.” Trey crosses his arms over his chest and looks at you, thoroughly unconvinced. You let out a deep sigh, feeling the exhaustion of the day finally catch up to you, and you reluctantly admit to him, “Yeah, you’re right. I really am tired. I was running around all day doing errands for the teachers.”

Looking slightly self-satisfied, Trey nods his head and says, “Yeah, I called it.” Then, with a secretive smile on his face, he reaches out towards you and takes your hand in his. Taking a few steps back, he gently pulls you towards him and says, “Follow me. There’s something I want to show you.”

With you trailing after Trey, the two of you quietly walk hand in hand, making your way deeper into the garden. The plants in this section of the botanical garden are mostly of the kind used in magical potions and you silently marvel at the diverse range of magical flora that surrounds you. Before too long, the two of you come to a stop in front of a tall, flowering vine. Trey lets go of your hand and reaches out to the vine, carefully grasping it and pulling it closer to you. Pointing to one of the large golden blossoms that decorate the vine, Trey simply instructs, “Here. Smell this.”

You hesitate for a brief second, but after seeing the gently encouraging smile on Trey’s face, you step towards the flowering vine and take in a deep breath. The scent of the large bloom is fresh and almost electric. It somehow reminds you of tart citrus candy and you instantly feel all of your fatigue lift from your body. You quickly look to Trey in surprise, “I don’t feel tired anymore! How did you know that would work?”

Trey lets out a quiet laugh and lets the vine drop from his hand. “It’s a magical plant called ‘Astral Lightning’ that’s usually used for energy drinks and potions. I just learned about it in science club, it’s no big deal.” He grins at you and raises one eyebrow in a playful way, “Can’t have you fainting from exhaustion on me. Then I’d be forced to carry you all the way back to your room.”

You laugh and jokingly retort, “Ah yes, can’t have that. I wouldn’t want to be a burden to you.”

Trey’s teasing expression drops from his face at your words and he looks at you with a gently worried sincerity. “Hey, don’t ever call yourself a burden. Not even as a joke. You could never be a burden to me. No matter what you need or what you ask for, I'll always be there for you when you call for me.”

Feeling slightly taken aback but also appreciating Trey’s sudden honesty, you quickly look down with a small, shy smile. Trying to hide how flustered you feel, you lightly say, “Thanks, Trey. You’re such a nice guy. I really appreciate how you take such good care of everyone.”

Trey drops his gaze from your face and looks off to the side, mirroring your bashful posture. With a small shake of his head, he shrugs his shoulders and mumbles, “I'm really not as caring as you think I am. Looking after the underclassmen and dealing with issues as a Vice Housewarden is honestly just crisis management.” Closing his eyes with a weary sigh, he softly admits, “Sometimes I wish I could just tell everyone to stop making my life more difficult than it already is and leave me alone.”

You study Trey’s face in worried silence as his voice trails off in thought. You realize you’ve never seen him look so tired, so honest. You try to move to touch his shoulder and ask him if he’s alright, if there’s anything you can do to help. Sensing your movement, Trey’s eyes snap open and when he looks up to face you again, you can’t help but freeze at the intensity of his gaze.

With his brows furrowed from the strength of his resolve, Trey reaches out and takes your hand in his, holding it firmly but also with great care. In a low voice, weighed down with longing, Trey continues, “But it's different with you. I never wish that you would leave me alone. I don't think I can even imagine a life without you in it anymore. Looking after you, just being near you, brings me a joy I never thought possible before. Your presence soothes my heart completely.”

Trey silently holds your gaze for a few moments, and you watch several conflicting emotions rise up in his eyes as he seems to carefully consider his next words. Lightly biting his bottom lip in concentration, he seems to reach an internal consensus and then takes in a deep, calming breath.

With hesitation in his voice, as if he’s revealing a secret, Trey states, “I want to be honest with you. Before we met, all I wanted was an easy life. I didn't want to make any waves or cast a big shadow. I was content with just being comfortable.” He looks down at your hand in his and you see a warm smile bloom over his face as he affectionately swipes his thumb across the back of your hand a few times. Looking up once more, his eyes are soft with adoration and his voice seems to glow with warm gratitude.

“But then I met you. I saw how hard you work, how much care you put into every action and task. And I felt myself actually caring and working with a purpose where before I was just drifting. When I realized what an exceptional person you are, I realized that I also would have to try and be as exceptional as you. And you have inspired and moved me every day since then.”

Releasing your hand from his, Trey slowly reaches up and places both of his hands on either side of your face. As he purposefully leans his face closer towards yours, you feel your eyes widen at the thought that Trey is planning to kiss you.

Noticing your wide-eyed expression, Trey halts for a second and then lets out a soft, playful laugh. In a quick and gentle motion, he leans forward and rubs his nose against yours. Taking a step back to view your surprised reaction, Trey smiles affectionately and whispers, “I want to be next to you, to have you in my life, more than I've ever wanted anything before. I love you and I'll always be here for you. Nothing will ever change that.”

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst fanfic #twst trey #trey clover #trey x reader #gn!reader #fluff and romance #bun-lapin écrit

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enigmaticexplorer · 2 months ago

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I Yearn, and so I Fear - Epilogue

Masterlist | Previous Chapter

General Summary. Nearly a year since the Galactic Empire’s rise to power, Kazi Ennari is trying to survive. But her routine is interrupted—and life upended—when she’s forced to cohabitate with former Imperial soldiers. Clone soldiers.

Pairing. Commander Wolffe x female!OC

General Warnings. Canon-typical violence and assault, familial struggles, terminal disease, bigotry, explicit sexual content, death. This story deals with heavy content. If you’re easily triggered, please do not read. For a more comprehensive list of tags, click here.

Fic Rating. E (explicit)/18+/Minors DNI.

Chapter Word Count. 4.2K

Three Years Later

28 Melona

“Another year, Wolf’ika.” Cody paused on the grassy path and appraised the orchard. “You should be proud of this.”

Wolffe flashed his vod a smile. “I am.”

In the six months since Cody last visited, the citrus-star trees had matured past their two-year adolescence into adulthood. Their trunks had thickened into sturdy structures larger than Neyti’s body; the lowest branches skimmed Wolffe’s head.

Wolffe and Kazi had planted the twenty seeds together but the orchard was his responsibility. Hours researching Ceaia’s nutrient-rich soil, speaking with local farmers, tilling the soil, and caring for the seeds paid off. The orchard produced bunches of citrus-stars monthly. Enough for his family. And enough to sell at the local farmer’s market.

“I’ve added a new beehive,” Wolffe said. He gestured to the end of the row where an amber hive hung from a branch, well hidden among the dense cluster of leaves. It was his fifth hive. And his most productive. “It’s done well.”

“To know that you did become a farmer…” Cody chuckled his incredulity. “I didn’t think it was possible.”

Wolffe inclined his chin in agreement.

While Kazi worked at Outlook Harbor’s Museum of History and Neyti attended school, Wolffe spent his days out here alone: tending the orchard; nurturing the garden’s assortment of fruits, vegetables, and herbs (for both meals and Nova’s research); monitoring the bees. ‘Til Fox interrupted. Then his quiet and solitude were ruined.

But the early morning hours, after his run, he had to himself. Just him and the lazing leaves and the humming bees.

“Kazi and Neyti?” Cody asked. They hadn’t been at the house when he landed half an hour ago.

“Weekly lessons at the museum,” Wolffe said.

The lessons began two years ago when, intrigued by Kazi’s translation work, Neyti asked to learn the ancient Ceaian language. Kazi agreed with a casual smile. But Wolffe had seen her hidden delight. Her excitement. He was well-studied in her subtle tells, after all.

“I’m meeting them later,” Wolffe added. Cody arched a brow, and he shrugged with a chuckle. “I don’t know where we’re going. They want it to be a surprise.”

The gray of dawn cast the orchard in foggy darkness, dulling the pale orange of the trees’ fronds. Wolffe reached for a leaf larger than his hand and rubbed it between his fingers; the fuzzy trichomes tickled his palm. It brought a half-smile to his face.

They continued forward, turning at a fork in the path where, frowning, Cody nudged a pink bush with his boot.

“Neyti and Steiner like to play here,” Wolffe explained. He smiled. “I couldn’t say no. And they’re good for the bees.”

His vod shook his head fondly. “And Fox?”

Wolffe ducked beneath a branch. “You could ask him.”

“I could.” But he wouldn’t.

Cody returned to Coruscant the week they completed renovation on the lighthouse. The decision had gutted Neyti as much as it angered Fox. Fox had expected them to remain together. To settle down and remove themselves from the threat of the Empire. To live out the rest of their lives in relative peace. But Cody disagreed with Fox’s sentiments. They argued; they parted on bad terms.

Every few months, Cody visited. He spent most of his time painting with Neyti, helping Wolffe with the garden, hiking with Nova. During those brief visits, Fox disappeared to the lighthouse. He avoided meals. Avoided any interaction with Cody. For Fox, Cody’s decision to leave Ceaia—to leave his vode—was a betrayal.

A year and a half dredged by before Fox begrudgingly apologized. Cody accepted the apology with characteristic understanding. Wolffe knew the fight had weighed on Cody; just like he knew Fox would never understand Cody’s decision.

But Wolffe understood Cody’s decision. Cody threw himself into work to deal with his guilt, and working with Rex and the clone network provided an escape.

Wolffe also knew that Cody couldn’t remain on Ceaia. Not after Daria’s death. He hardly blamed his vod. The nightmares still haunted him on occasion. Nightmares where Daria and Neyti deboarded the transport at the Naboo spaceport without Kazi. Each time he awoke sweaty and panting, reaching for Kazi.

Touching her, feeling her heartbeat in her wrist, sliding his finger along the tattoo of his initials—W.E.—on the inner skin of her fourth finger—it freed him from the nightmare’s lingering grasp.

He didn’t blame Cody. Not one fucking bit.

“Fox helps with the garden and orchard. But he doesn’t like the bees,” Wolffe said. Cody smirked in amusement. “He’s been spending a lot of time carving the fence.”

Nearby, a detailed dragon prowled the top of the dark-wooded fence protecting the orchard. Cody admired the carving. “And the annals?”

Last year, the annals evolved from Fox’s personal project to a museum-financed publication. It was Nova’s idea: an admitted desire to publicly preserve the stories of the vode he’d lost.

“They deserve to be remembered,” Nova had told Wolffe and Fox late one night while he paced the carpeted basement. “And not just by me. But by the people they protected, too.”

Kazi had recently started her job at the museum (as a translator of the dying Ceaian language, she was scribing some of the oldest scrolls on loan from the Library of Xand), and reached out to the museum’s director.

A few private meetings led to an agreement: Fox would organize his interviews into a chronological timeline, and the museum would publish the stories into three annals. They would be the first historical record of the War. The only record from the soldiers who fought in it.

“They’re coming along,” Wolffe said. New interviews continued to appear every few months thanks to Cody’s efforts to connect various men with Fox. “The first two years are almost complete.”

Cody gave a pleased nod.

The path veered to the right, toward the house. Low-hanging leaves tickled their hair and brushed their shoulders. They passed through the gate, wandering deeper into the forest, the tree cover thickening. The smell of burning wood drifted on the breeze; they followed its scent.

“I have another interview,” Cody said. At his smug tone, Wolffe snorted. “From Rex.”

Wolffe blinked his surprise. “He agreed?”

Cody smirked. “I convinced him.”

“You’re next,” he said. Cody rolled his eyes, and he shoved his vod in the shoulder. “Stop being a prick.”

“You haven’t done it,” Cody retorted.

“Did it last week.” He winked at his vod’s appalled look but soon sobered, shrugging. “It was time.”

“Fuck.” Cody scrubbed a hand across his jaw. Weariness lined his eyes and forehead, and he let out a deep sigh. “I’ll…think about it.”

Nearing the front of the house, the low voices of Fox and Nova discernible over the crackle of the fire, Cody motioned for Wolffe to halt. He angled his head toward Nova. “How’s he doing?”

“Nova’s a grown man, Cod’ika,” Wolffe said gently. “He’s making his own life. And he’s doing a damn good job at it.”

“I know,” Cody murmured. “I thought that…” He cleared his throat and straightened. “I’m glad he’s doing well.”

Wolffe was surprised when Nova decided to stick around after Cody left. Throughout the War, and after, he’d remained loyal to Cody. The type of loyalty only the best commanding officers earned from their subordinates. Wolffe had once earned a similar loyalty from his men. Before Order 66. Before he bailed on the Empire. Before he fled his own men trying to gun him down for betraying orders.

But Wolffe quickly realized the reason behind Nova’s decision: Nova was ready to move on from the past. And that meant parting ways with Cody.

Within a few weeks of Cody’s departure, Nova applied for a researcher’s job at the local med center. There, he began researching a medicinal alternative to bacta. A solution to the Empire’s control and restriction over the healing aid. (Kazi gave him Daria’s old research books for inspiration or potential leads.)

The work kept Nova busy most days but he seemed to enjoy it. Neyti had even shown an interest in his work. Some afternoons, after school, he took her to the med center and let her help with his experiments.

“You know,” Wolffe said, clapping a hand to Cody’s back, “there’s a place for you here. Whenever you want it.”

“The Rebellion needs me—”

“You need the Rebellion.” Wolffe levelled a hard look at Cody. “But it won’t clear your conscience.”

Cody squared his shoulders. “Yeah. I know.”

Wolffe offered him a grim smile and then made his way toward the sputtering fire. The embers glowed in the darkness of the evergreen and sequoia forest; the flames kept the early morning shadows at bay.

For the next two hours, Wolffe and his vode downed glasses of whiskey, swapped stories they all knew, and played rounds of sabaac. Nova won; Wolffe was convinced he’d cheated.

As the forest lightened, the whiskey warming his blood, Wolffe tugged a sweater over his head, nodded to the others, and then started the trek to the docks. He was unsurprised when Fox followed.

The grassy cliff path spat them out at the shore. The low tide revealed bubbling sand pockets, a burrowing crab, and the booted footprints of a woman and child who’d passed through earlier.

“Three years,” Fox said, surveying the faint sunrise with a pensive expression. “A lot has changed.”

“It’s what you wanted,” Wolffe remarked.

“Yeah.” Slowly, his vod rolled the sleeves of his maroon sweater. “Never thought I’d end up on an ocean planet again.”

He chuckled. “It’s better than Kamino.”

“Anywhere is better than there,” Fox said. The vitriol underscoring his comment wasn’t lost on Wolffe; he knew Fox’s feelings well enough. Adjusting the cuff of his right sleeve, Fox cleared his throat. “Thanks.”

Wolffe gave a wordless grunt of confusion.

“For getting me off Coruscant.” Fox motioned to their surroundings. “This is a good place to retire.”

He snorted. “Only took you four years.”

“Fuck off.” Fox halted, running a hand through his hair, observing Wolffe with hesitant solemnity. He sighed. “I’m…grateful to be here.”

Wolffe nodded slowly. “Me too.”

He took a moment to breathe in the fresh air, to watch the sun cresting the oceanic horizon, to grasp Fox’s shoulder and give him a firm shake. Fox threw him a grin. One of those knowing grins he used when they were boys and was about to challenge Wolffe to a particularly ambitious dare. Wolffe hadn’t seen Fox grin like that in a long time. He’d missed it.

“Give my love to the women,” Fox said, shoving his hands into his trousers’ pockets. He backed away a step. “And don’t drown. I’d grow bored without you.”

Wolffe rolled his eyes and turned away.

A jog along the shore brought him to the docks. Scents of freshly baked bread, citrus fruits, and spiced soups wafted from the colorful buildings. Younglings sprinted the walkways. Sailors shouted orders as they prepared their ships.

Regardless of the earliness of the day, Outlook Harbor bustled with life. Wolffe nodded to the woman at the bakery (she sold jars of his honey), shook his head at a small boy begging for a cup of shaved ice (he could relate to the father’s fond exasperation), and lifted a hand of acknowledgement to the elderly florist (she liked Kazi and Neyti). With a sharp turn, he strode down a familiar dock—

“Daddy!”

He broke into a wide grin.

Legs dangling over the side of the sailboat, Neyti waved, her smile toothy. Beside her, Fluffy thumped his tail in greeting. The moment Wolffe boarded the boat the anooba knocked his head against his legs. He gave the canine a scratch behind his ears.

Over the years, Fluffy had matured into a calm yet protective force. A good soldier. Wolffe would know; he’d served with plenty of them.

“Hey, kid.” Wolffe kissed the top of Neyti’s head. Her hair was tied back in her classic double braids, the style he’d perfected with hours of practice on Kazi. “You ready?”

“Yup. Mum let me raise the sails.” Neyti nodded at the main mast. “We were waiting on you.”

While Neyti finished a glass of lemon juice, Wolffe inspected their work. Unnecessary thanks to Kazi’s expertise but he didn’t want to feel excluded from the prep. “Where is your mom—”

“It’s about time.” Kazi strolled from the cabin space beneath the deck, a bouquet in her hands, her hazel eyes beaming with mirth. “Happy life day.”

Wolffe grinned. He couldn’t help himself. The morning sun seemed as eager about Kazi as he felt. It cast her in a pinkish hue that made her skin glow. She kissed his cheek; his skin burned beneath the touch.

With an easy smile, Wolffe accepted the bouquet. Gray and long-petaled, the flowers complimented the wolf on his sweater and the socks he could see peeking above Kazi’s boots. The socks he’d given her long ago—the gray a claim to his pack.

Under the pretense of smelling the flowers, Wolffe scrutinized Kazi. He liked her like this: a carefree, dimpled smile; hands casually tucked in the back pockets of her trousers; an adventurous twinkle in her eyes. Seeing her like this…fuck,it inspired different wants within him.

He wanted to hold her close and smell her lavender soap. He wanted his head in her lap while her fingers played with his hair. He wanted to sit on their porch and listen to her talk about her translation work. He wanted to taste her, pleasure her until she was sated and pliant. He wanted her naked beneath this soft sunlight so he could admire every toned muscle and delicate plane of her body—

“Are you going to stare at Mum all day or can we go?” Neyti jumped to the deck, piercing him with an exasperated frown. Wolffe rubbed the back of his neck. “Your surprise won’t be waiting all day.”

“Demanding, much?” Kazi flicked their daughter’s forehead. Neyti responded with a sheepish grin. Chuckling, Kazi shared a private, knowing smile with him—that damned smile he’d beg on his knees for a glimpse of—and then started for the docking line. “Come on. Neyti’s right—we want to get there in time.”

Navigated by her skilled captain, the sailboat chugged through the harbor’s dark blue waves, passing through the breakwater where two dragons sat on guard: the twins, Bellu and Xap. Most harbors, Kazi once told him, were protected by the twins.

For the lateness of the summer, the ocean was well-tempered, sincere in its embrace of salty wind and bobbing waves. While Wolffe stood at the helm with Kazi wondering where they were going, Neyti and Fluffy leaned against the bow’s railing, searching for sea creatures.

Soon, their billowing sails brought them to their destination: the clear waters of the islet.

Wolffe chuckled his appreciation. Both his wife and daughter knew the islet was one of his favorite places to visit: a lush forest with foxlike creatures that often attempted to nick his broken wristchrono; a clearing with a bubbling stream that could ease the worst tension from him; and the turtles—docile creatures he liked to swim with.

Anchor dropped and wetsuits assorted, the islet’s shallows welcomed them. They swam among iridescent corals. Seaweed swayed at a lethargic pace, pearlescent seashells blinking like stars among a sandy sky.

After a lunch of cubed melons, peppered cucumbers, vegetable cheese sandwiches, and a dessert of Wolffe’s favorite cherry pie, they returned to the waters.

Awakened by the sun’s rays, the turtles emerged from their caves. The youngest was Neyti’s size; the largest neared Wolffe’s height. Dark brown geometric shapes decorated the turtles’ domed shells and long flippers. Their delicate heads poked curiously at the humans.

Wolffe took photos of Kazi and Neyti swimming among the bale. He had a large collection of photos at home: some decorated the wall in his and Kazi’s bedroom; others adorned the main level’s mantelpiece and bookshelves.

The photos were proof. Proof that he’d survived. Proof that he’d got to live out his dreams.

The holorecorder swapped hands. Kazi snapped photos of him and Neyti; Neyti, with artistic flair, captured a few of him and Kazi. Both broke into giggles when Kazi snapped a photo of a turtle biting his foot. He grinned along with them, even if his toes ached.

Eventually, the white, billowy clouds of afternoon gave way to golden-dappled clouds of evening. Pale white hummingbirds whizzed among the islet’s shores and the sailboat. Curled near the hull, Fluffy watched the tiny birds with intrigue.

While Kazi sat alone on the shore, studying Daria’s old necklace and the photo within its locket, Wolffe joined Neyti on the sailboat’s railing. Beneath their hanging feet, the turtles lazed. Neyti peeled a citrus-star. An even split and she offered half to Wolffe. He accepted with a small smile.

“Good day?” Wolffe asked.

Neyti grinned. “The best.”

“Any new painting ideas?”

“Lots. Steiner and I are going to the lighthouse to paint tomorrow.” She plucked a citrus-star piece into her mouth and then scrutinized him. “You have a request.”

“Clever girl,” Wolffe said. Her smug smile earned a low chuckle from him.

Reaching into a pocket of his tossed-aside trousers, Wolffe retrieved his wallet and a small photo tucked within. A photo of him, Kazi, and Neyti in front of the lighthouse last month.

He remembered the moment clearly. The night’s constellations were winking into existence. Gentle waves were lapping at the shore, the temperature cool. He was staring at Kazi, holding Neyti’s hand, when he was struck with the reminder that this was his life. That he was married and had a daughter. That his vode were alive. That he was alive. It was hard to believe, sometimes.

“I’d like a painting of this,” Wolffe said thickly, showing Neyti the photo. “Think you can do that?”

Neyti narrowed her eyes as she appraised the image. “Is it for Mum’s life day?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll do it,” she promised.

He nodded his thanks and carefully tucked the photo back into his wallet.

After a minute of silence, interrupted only by the rocking waves and the whizzing hummingbirds, Neyti peered at him. “Did you like your life day?”

Wolffe considered his daughter for a long moment.

Over the years, she’d grown taller. Most of her adult teeth had come in, though one gap remained. (He hoped it took a long time to fill.) While her quiet nature continued to shape her curious yet shrewd outlook, her sharp wit and stubborn attitude persisted, especially during sparring lessons with Fox.

She still enjoyed her princess stories. She still enjoyed learning new dragon lore. He and Kazi still read to her in bed.

But Neyti was maturing. And he was keen to appreciate each moment of her childhood he had left.

Slipping a piece of citrus-star into his mouth, Wolffe knocked his elbow against Neyti’s. “I couldn’t have asked for a better one.”

As night swarmed and sharks began their hunt, they returned to Outlook Harbor.

A blanket sprawled, bellies warm with vegetable curry, buttered flatbread, and chocolate-covered honeycomb, they settled among the sailboat’s deck. Wolffe accepted a pair of earplugs from Kazi. Neyti nestled herself between them.

An effervescent display of fireworks lit the sky. Streams of silver and gold complimented the swooping figures of dragons. Regal purples and bottomless blues emphasized the dragons’ idiosyncratic prowess.

The world silent, Wolffe split his time between watching the show and observing Kazi and Neyti’s reactions.

Neyti watched the fireworks with a dimpled grin of awe. Kazi spent an equal amount of time watching the displays and studying him. At one of her subtle glances, he tapped the side of his head and winked. He felt an innate satisfaction at her small smile and relaxing posture.

Later that night, locked in their bedroom, entangled on their bed, Wolffe held Kazi closer to his chest. They were both shaking, their breaths ragged. He could still feel her cunt fluttering around his oversensitive cock. He stifled a moan against her shoulder.

Heat thrummed beneath his skin. His mind worked slowly, dazed by his orgasm. Instinctively, he brushed a hand down the smooth skin of Kazi’s spine. Her soft exhale tickled the hair curling around his ear, her thighs flexing around his waist.

“Good?” he asked.

She gave a tired yet content nod and ran a finger along the silver bar piercing his nipple. He shivered at the sensation. His cock twitched inside of her. The corners of her lips quirked in amusement. He offered her a lazy grin. She repeated the touch once more, kissed his cheek, and then maneuvered herself from his lap to the mattress.

Wolffe quickly followed, kneeling between her legs, staring down at her. She was…fuck, she was more beautiful than those rare, sunny days on Kamino.

The moonlight caressed her body in warm shades of amber: the flush to her cheeks, the blackness to her eyelashes, the curves of her breasts, the muscles of her arms. Her unbound hair crowned her head like faded autumnal leaves. Her eyes were dark, bliss-filled.

He surveyed her, his mind blank of coherent thought. All he knew was that he wanted to stay like this for a long time.

“You’re staring,” Kazi murmured.

“Mm-hmm.” Settling himself atop her, he twirled a strand of hair around his finger and then placed a kiss on the underside of her jaw. “Say it.”

She skimmed a palm along his biceps; he trembled at the touch. “I love you,” she whispered.

A kiss to the sensitive spot behind her ear followed. At her breathy sigh, a warm feeling fluttered behind his ribcage. He murmured, “Again.”

“I love you.”

He swallowed and then lowered his face to hers. His mouth brushed the white scar near the corner of her eye. “Again.”

A finger tipped his face back; her eyes danced with affection. “I love you.”

Wolffe smiled at the promise in her words. Their lips grazed. He curled his fingers into her loose hair; he breathed against her skin, “I love you.”

As he deepened the kiss, Kazi brought him closer, her hands trailing across his back. He shuddered beneath her wandering fingers. His cock throbbed. A quiet moan broke their kiss. He pursued her neck. Warm skin welcomed his mouth.

He took his time, tracing the lines of her collarbone with his tongue, sucking long and slow on the underswell of her breasts, skimming his fingers across her ribcage, her throat, her face.

One hand played with his hair; the other massaged his shoulders, the back of his neck. Deep kneading eased the stiffness from his body. A teasing caress of his earlobe made him groan.

Their kisses slowed to lingering; their touches turned drowsy.

Wolffe pressed his forehead against Kazi’s, squeezed her hip, and then lowered himself onto his back. Extending an arm behind her head, he glanced at the nightstand. Atop his trusted notebook sat his present: a silver, sleek wristchrono.

He’d been eyeing it for months. Hell, he should’ve known that Kazi would notice his subtle glances at the shop window each time they visited the harbor.

Wolffe trailed a finger across the tiny, cursive inscription on the ‘chrono’s band: So you can always find your way home. He blinked away the burning sensation behind his eyes.

“Thirty, Wolffe,” Kazi murmured, tracing the initials inked into his fourth finger: K.E. “How does it feel?”

“It doesn’t feel real,” Wolffe admitted. He skimmed his thumb along her shoulder. “I…never thought I could have this. And now…”

Years training with his vode, years believing he’d die on the battlefield, years fighting alongside his men, yet he outlived them all…

He’d never understand why he’d survived. He’d never understand why he’d been allowed to experience this—finding Kazi, raising Neyti, starting his own farm. But he’d learned long ago that he couldn’t control fate. And those men who’d died—they’d want him to live the life they didn’t get to. He owed them. And he’d make the most of what he was given.

“I’m glad this is real,” he said quietly. “Real fucking glad.”

A thoughtful hum sounded from Kazi, and she peered at him: hesitant yet curious. “Do you feel alive?”

Wolffe thought back to years ago, to stars reflected among a stilled lake’s surface, to lightning bugs flickering among an overgrown jungle, to hazel eyes rounded with vulnerability and soft lips he wanted to touch, to a quiet conversation he’d never forgotten.

“Yeah. I do.” He let out a chuckle, surprised by the swiftness of his answer. Surprised by the truth behind it. He searched Kazi’s gaze. “Do you?”

A slow smile lit her face, wide and dimpled and so full of life. “I do.”

For a long time, Wolffe basked in her smile and the heat of her body curled against his, and when she kissed the side of his throat, he turned his gaze to the skylights. The Dancing Dragons twinkled, their central star bright in the night sky. Kazi nuzzled her nose against his jaw; he mapped the tattoo on her spine.

“Tell me the story, Kazi,” he murmured. “Start from the beginning.”

He felt her smile against his neck. As she started to speak, he closed his eyes, sinking into the mattress, relaxing into the lavender scent of her hair and the sleepy lilt of her voice:

“Every night a female dragon soared amongst the stars.”

Masterlist | Chapter 31

A/N: For a deeper look into this story and its characters, check out the Behind the Scenes.

Artwork of Kazi, Wolffe, and Neyti by the phenomenal @pinkiemme!

#I Yearn and so I Fear #commander wolffe x oc: kazi ennari

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