#so. functionally no insurance | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

desolationlesbian · 1 year ago

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the extremely american-with-no-health-insurance dance of "this hurts yeah but it's not so bad that i need to see a doctor about it" "but like 20 minutes ago you were lying on the floor on the verge of tears" "yeah but its fine. i have. ibuprofen."

#i do have insurance but its medicaid from my home state which means no one will take it here #so. functionally no insurance

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katkalis-the-horror-fanartist · 4 months ago

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So I'm guessing it's my meds but I'm experimenting with them all because lately even on my stimulants they werent helping me focus and instead I'd just lay there, hard to move, chest pounding and just feeling SO uncomfortable. And wihout it I still end up laying down but legit mentally paralyzed and having trouble even moving around. This SUCKS but idk when I'll get stuff settled for certain, until I at least talk to my doctor during my checkup appointment-

Main summary: I am no longer able to pump out art until I figure out what this problem is, so that's why I may be suddenly quiet and it SUUUCCCKKSSS 💀

#HOPING we will be able to work something out #maybe different stimulants but then wed have to make sure my insurance will even cover it #they wouldnt cover my vyvanse for some reason but maybe we just need to complain to them #i dunno but it feels miserable to feel so weak and unable to do the simplest things #Its so scary to be unable to function at all...#again tho once we get this settled ill hopefully be able to engage in my hobbies more #just talking #i miss being able to draw like a madman :(

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alphashley14 · 2 years ago

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I attempted to ask my parents if I could go to therapy last night because I suspect that I may have undiagnosed ADHD.

My Dad scoffed, as if annoyed, and said “If anyone has difficulty doing anything nowadays it’s because of some mental something or other.”

- Says the man who I’ve suspected for years to be an undiagnosed autistic or other sort of neurodivergent. (Not that I’d ever say that aloud because God forbid.)

And I was so stunned and hurt that I all of my points/arguments left my brain.

Just- imagine being so close yet so far away from the POINT.

And my Mom was hardly any better. She shut me down by saying how “everyone struggles to focus on things they’re not interested in,” and “Well that’s part of your Asperger’s!”

… This is exactly why I’ve grown to HATE being a so-called “high functioning” autistic person. Any time I bring up wanting to go to therapy for unrelated issues it gets either brushed off or forgotten about because I’m “high functioning” and I don’t externalize my mental health symptoms like my sibling does (and therefore it isn’t an embarrassment or inconvenience) so it isn’t an issue and I must be fine.

Maybe I should just explode. Drink. Smoke something. Scream. Break some shit. Let my grades drop. THEN could I get some therapy? (Not that I would ever actually do any of that but sometimes I feel like that’s what it would take for my parents to take me seriously when I say I’m not ok.)

-Anyway. Just figured if anywhere would have people who understand this experience, it would be on Tumblr.

#neurodivergent #high functioning autism #autism #aspergers #autistic #autistic adult #actually autistic #autistic artist #undiagnosed adhd #?#istg I hate the ‘high functioning’ label so much.#it isn’t real and all it does is block people from getting help #Also just a disclaimer: I’m 20 soon to be 21 but only work part time #and am living with my parents while in college #and I’m on my family’s healthcare plan insurance wise #so I’m still super reliant on my parents financially and that’s why I asked THEM about therapy instead of arranging it myself.

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marvellouslymadmim · 2 months ago

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#the way I don't want to have fibromyalgia...#but also having a clear fucking diagnosis would be such a relief!#I don't want to be a medical mystery!!!!!#I don't want to throw up simply bc I *touched* the back of my head!#I don't want to wake up and be unable to stand bc 10hrs of sleep wasn't enough!#I don't want to suddenly realize in the middle of a conversation that I am pronouncing words incorrectly/in a way that I generally don't #I don't want to feel like I might be having a stroke bc my brain suddenly flips to “eh functioning? but... not well or normally?”#I DON'T WANT TO BE IN PAIN WITH NO CLEAR FUCKING REASON FOR BEING SO!!#i have a shiny new doctor and better health insurance with more access to specialists WHY IS THIS NOT ENOUGH 😭#personal #rant #delete later #if i were a horse i'd already be glue 🙃

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lavampira · 8 months ago

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#medical offices and insurance keep finding new interesting ways to stress me the fuck out #and having to call to correct mistakes gets increasingly aggravating when i don’t have a consistently functional voice #i’m so tired of everything rn lmao #the life and times

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pollen · 9 months ago

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i've been diving a lot deeper into adhd symptoms and comorbidities and misdiagnoses and whenever i tell my boyfriend something i learned that sounds like me he responds with something like

#idk he knows me more than anyone bc i can't hide the parts i'm ashamed of from him #last night he was like. yeah EYE think you have adhd but i'm just some guy #idk i'm excited about this not because i want to be Quirky for internet reasons. yknow. but bc i've felt like an impostor of a human being #and i have no sense of self and i can't get myself to do basic tasks and the thought of doing something i don't want to do #genuinely makes me want to throw up/my brain shuts down/i can't think or talk or function to the point where i can't work.#so i can't support myself. so i feel terrible about myself. and i've been in and out of therapy for 20 years and have numerous diagnoses #that have never really felt like they fully encapsulate what's going on. and like. i've kinda just internalized that i'm not as good at #being a person as everyone else because i struggle so so much. like yeah i did well in school but i had to sacrifice literally everything #else to do that. idk how everyone else is managing to have a job and hobbies and friends #i get to pick like. one now. i used to be able to juggle everything to some degree although i felt like i was being careless in all areas #except school. i'm so scared of making mistakes or starting anything or talking to new people or trying new hobbies #because i know it won't interest me more than a couple weeks MAX and i'll feel listless and restless again #and i've come to understand this as part of who i am at my core. i'm just someone who can't commit and isn't reliable or a good friend #i just want so badly for that not to be the case because i want so badly to not be stuck like this #idk im going home to talk to my dad this weekend and just rest because i'm really really not doing well #which is why i'm scrambling to try to figure out what's going on with me because idk how much longer i feasibly can do this #and i might be moving back to the pnw bc therapists in pa don't work with medicaid #and no psychiatrists near me are taking new patients. and i can't work to get on private insurance. but therapists in or do work w medicaid #so idk. again if youre diagnosed w adhd and this sounds not like someone who is consuming social media brain rot content about adhd #but rather someone whose experiences you identify with. please let me know. please please #i am reaching out to professionals also but things move slowly and i'm trying to compile evidence so i don't sound like i'm making it up

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ragnars-tooth · 8 months ago

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One of my big compulsions is taking a fuck ton of screenshots Just In Case a piece of information is important in like 4 years and I can't remember it (sometimes the information is an instagram post that I might not remember later and of course needs to be recorded everywhere (I will Not be looking at that again)) so today is my transfer 16000 images off my phone admin day (woo)

Like yeah I never looked at any of them and they were completely irrelevant to my daily life, But what if I need them ✨️ later ✨️ (you'll see that the idea of Later is doing a lot of heavy lifting here) OR what if there's a vital piece of information in the mix somewhere that I'll lose forever if I delete them? So: onto the external hard drive they go

This is one of those cases where. Yeah. Ideally I wouldn't take 16000 screenshots in half a year. And YEAH ideally I'd just delete them and not transfer them somewhere else to never look at again. BUT at least I get a clean slate and I can maybe not mindlessly save everything for 2 seconds. It's like. Small wins? Progress. Yknow.

#rangnar rambles #i also use my tumblr drafts this way which is how i have probably 2000 drafts for this blog that are just? like me saving a post for 'later #and then theres too many in my drafts for me to even find *MY* drafts #i need to just hard reset the draft function bc its literally unusable for me #'matt this is all irrational and weird' by god. my irrational thoughts disorder makes me do weird shit? are you fr rn??? 😨😨#i get so stupidly in my own head and then i dont make progress towards Anything #even like a fun sideblog where i can actually yknow. post that 2k nightmare? i just cringe myself out like a dumbass 😔#i feel like ocd thoughts always sound lame out loud (and in my head to myself too)#like the Urgency doesnt come across #like in the moment i am Completely convinced that my national insurance number and bank deets are in there somewhere #and theres suddenly no way on earth i could ever find them again if i delete the picture. so to the hard drive they go #i Would go through that whole thing if i suddenly needed a screenshot from 2019 btw. like the crazy isnt theoretical #ive hallucinated gas leak smells before and woken up my flatmates bc i couldnt convince myself i was over reacting #its just cus the seasons have changed that everythings ramping up but omg its hard to do anything but spiral nowadays #thats a little dramatic but i am losing like. a quarter of the day to my ocd #its like. not great 😬#im not back to convincing myself i gave my dad cancer but i am not letting myself use half the kitchen again #but eh soo la voo we ball #HAH i checked my drafts after this and i was lowballing so hard #5.7k on this blog. 12k on my main 💀. its not funny but it kind of is #this is why youll never catch me running a queue #this is such a miserable post but i do feel the need to not let it sit in the drafts pile. to prove the point i guess 💀💀💀#'no one gives a shit this is your blog' 'oh my GOD WHAT IF PEOPLE GIVE A SHIT' <- omg shut upppp youre so embarassing 🙄#one more time for the gallery: i am like. aware that these feelings are irrational. like i am fine it just takes time for reality to kick in #ANYWAYS what was that who said that that was so weird im gonna go look at old romantic era paintings now #if tam is a screenshot fiend in the next fic u know what happened

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salsa-ishida · 6 months ago

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you're back!! it's been so long!! I missed you <3 <3

ahhhh I missed you too!! Life has been insistent on grinding me to a paste but we perservere

#life has been so so so hard <3 #i've never fully recovered from long covid so an average workday was leaving me absolutely drained #and on top of that i had an incident where i was trying to look into a prior auth for a patient #the kid was trans and cried on the phone because he was afraid his insurance wouldn't cover his testosterone now that trump had won #his doctor was at her wit's end because she had been assured on three separate occasions that the authorization was all set #so since it was literally a dead day at work anyway i spent about half an hour playing phone tag with the insurance #trying to find out what their mcfucking issue was #only to eventually be told they wouldn't speak to a representative from the pharmacy about it and that the prescriber had to make the call #so i did let the prescriber know and found a goodrx coupon that made the price like $20 #patient was thrilled and very grateful for the effort #(this was like. the day before christmas and his last chance to get his medicine before he had to travel.)#pharmacist however immediately jumped my shit when i hung up for ''wasting time''#despite the fact that there was??? literally no other work to do???#we had three other techs on and i was keeping up with the data entry as things came in while i was on the phone.#tried to defuse the situation by apologizing but she was literally top-of-her-lungs screaming at me #in front of my coworkers and the like 2 customers nearby. so loud that one person could hear her clearly from the bathroom #had worked with this woman for 5+ years and she was the reason i went to this particular pharmacy in the first place #left and texted my boss what happened and told her that this gets fixed or i'm out. had a meeting with the store manager and everything #told them i would have a conversation with her to see if we could move past this. and she refused to speak to me #so i quit and my bestie quit in solidarity and we have been job hunting except that we both also got sick as FUCK the next day #like vomiting shaking massive headache unable to function sick #his fever was like 104.7 at one point? it was ungood #i'm finally about 85% better and back on the job hunt but like. yeah #thought i had something lined up that would free me from the shackles of customer service but unfortunately the guy changed his mind #and the one pharmacy interview i had they wanted to pay me $10/hr 💀 homie that's a $9/hr pay decrease #so yeah life is a prison etc etc BUT not having a full time job anymore DOES mean #that i have the time and energy to tungl again without all the chronic exhaustion #silver linings!!!

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bright-and-burning · 7 months ago

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objectively i have no reason to feel Weird and Wonky around the holidays. and yet

#love my family love spending time w them love giving gifts soooo much love receiving them even more #love gatherings and seeing people and doing silly things w ppl i love. however #getting removed from the family car insurance plan means i can’t drive and it’s not entirely walkable here #so i’m just like. functionally 15 again #i don’t feel sad. or anything. just odd. like my skin doesn’t fit quite right #also i have had a headache for at least twelve hours straight so i don’t feel very human at all

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orcelito · 1 year ago

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Oh yeah, so turns out I DIDNT flunk my 2 classes my last semester I took (spring 2023). I got a C and a D. Which normally a D wouldn't be passing, but bc it's not a prerequisite for anything, my advisor is making an exception for it. WHICH MEANS I only have 8 classes left to take before I graduate. Since my life insurance money will cover all my living expenses for A While, I'm not gonna look for another job and instead will just focus on studying and finishing my degree. 1 class in the summer, 3 classes in fall, and 4 classes in spring. Assuming I don't crash and burn again (which I'm going to do everything in my power to prevent), I should be able to graduate college by spring 2025.

10 years after I first started college. I should've graduated in 2019. But better late than never. So long as I do finish, it will be okay.

#speculation nation #i fully thought i failed my classes that last semester. i crashed and burned bc of a variety of reasons #and i ended up on academic probation. so i ASSUMED i failed.#but apparently not!!! yay!!!#i gotta make sure i do as good as possible in my remaining classes to make sure my GPA isnt ass by the end #it's at 2.95 right now. so long as im above a 3 it wont be too bad for job prospects.#not as good as a 3.5 but i dont care about being in a swanky tech job anyways #so long as it's something Functional. something that will let me live comfortably. thats what matters.#this life insurance payout really is life changing huh. i hate that things happened like this #but im so grateful he had this in place. this will be indispensable for letting me finally finish. Finally.

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faaun · 2 years ago

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had like 1 free day spent it hollow knighting and also applying for insurance and replacing card and getting new sim card. looked at the post i made abt like...research and stuff (the one w the video) and i literally do not recall writing it bc i was like blackout drunk when i made it. anyway im ok but i need to Do Things i want more time to Do Things !!

#i missed it sm ....#i truly needed bc ive been so exhausted recently that i felt like...blunted mentally almost? like i couldnt think clearly or function etc #like even simple problems were taking too much effort to solve. and i think i just needed a break. anyways #got super drunk lost phone n wallet in uber who then someone stole but its alright bc insurance yay #anyway i have to travel again tmrw which is not good i truly need a few moments to be productive outside of research #like i need to code and also do my uni work but like...literally quite literally No Time ! and my laptops battery died recently #which actually hinders me sm bc working on like...free moments like in trains or cafes is no longer an option #i need a high wattage plug socket available at all times to use laptop #anyways despite all that im kinda content.#also having a cat helps a lot #anyway hollow knight is rly good even tho sometimes i have skill issues !

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tchotchkez · 1 year ago

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damn y'all work really does got me Tired About Eyeballs

#living the optician in training life #I am literally so tired #human interaction at a new job is especially draining #I know I'll get used to it soon but GODDAMN man #some folks are just so skeezy #no you cannot have free trial contacts when your prescription expired 4 years ago and you haven't even been in for an exam #why not? because you are Stupid and if you fuck something up while wearing the expired prescription and we gave it to you #then your dumb ass will blame us and we will be sued #it may be a prescription for your eyes but IT IS STILL A MEDICAL PRESCRIPTION THAT YOU MUST RECEIVE FROM A DOCTOR #you can't go to your doctor and ask for medicine for an illness you had 4 years ago #so why would you expect different from us?#shit changes in 4 years #the audacity of some if these ignorant entitled fuckos #and we have a really affordable basic deal on an exam and two pairs of eyeglasses!#70 bucks for the whole shebang!#it's almost always better than what insurance covers!#and then people want to get all the add ons and special materials and go full on surprised pikachu face when it's not the same price anymore #they're called add ons because they ADD ON #they are not usually necessary unless you live a certain lifestyle that makes them worth the investment #but if you need something affordable in order to see and function and not end up killing yourself driving #then the basic plan is an insanely good and affordable deal!#i used the very same deal prior to being hired!#i have my main glasses and a whole ass backup pair #and some people just #do not get it #they think they can get something ~special~ or that their insurance just HAS to be better bc it's insurance #please you guys learn to think freely and critically #okay rant over #tate talks #work tales

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spacejammie-eimmajecaps · 2 years ago

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Immovable object (my chronic fatigue) vs unstoppable force (my desire to do literally anything other than lie in bed)

#was cooking nonstop for an hour yesterday #then did a bunch of dishes and some cleaning #my body did not appreciate that #i could tell when i was going to bed last night that i overdid it #but today was worse than i thought it would be #btw ive been trying to process my grief or whatever over losing so much of my ability to function over the past year #its not going well #thought a therapist might help but the ones i found and liked dont take my insurance #my last therapist specialized in trauma (was good at helping me process that) but isnt a good listener lol so i need someone else #im not thay motivated to find a new one though tbh #its a hassle and im too exhausted to deal with it #maybe ill save up all these feelings and put it into a fic someday #i talked to a fandom friend once about writing a story about a disabled character so maybe ill actually do that #someday #after i finish sgb #which will be a long time from now #a long long long time #at this rate #its so frustrating to be incapable of doing the things i want to do #especially when those things were within my capabilities not that long ago #i have to chill out about it though because emotions use energy and i have so very little of that to spare #ha ha #ha ha ha ha ha #its all good #we press on

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pc-98s · 1 year ago

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takes an expired adderall and remembers how it feels to be happy

#whenever i have insurance/job again i NEED to get back on adhd medicine. boy howdy #my medicine was changed back when i was on it consistently so i have some leftover adderall and theyre old but oh my god #the executive functioning. the ability to enjoy stuff naturally. holy shit. dopamine

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artemistorm · 1 year ago

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Me: I have all these great plans for Monday! I'm going to get up early to write a story or record a podfic, go to the allergist, bakery, class, and the grocery store...

Also me: *wakes up with a migraine*

#ugh #hopefully its the kind I can still function with and not the kind I'm too brain foggy #I finally tried to make an appointment for my headaches and I couldn't make the appt online #so I called them and they're like ''what? you're not a patient here'' (I was last year 🙄)#so my insurance is going to find me a new doctor in town and get back to me #argh

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little-grey-dowitcher · 1 year ago

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YouTube short about different generations when they’re sick: *actually kinda funny joke about how Millennials and younger can’t afford healthcare so they just have to tough it out*

Me: Finally, someone pointing this out in a way that’s not condescending towards people my age! I bet the comments are full of people talking about their shitty experiences with the healthcare system, or talking about how difficult it is to find affordable insurance. Let’s go check it out!

First ten or so comments: Ugh, kids these days… they should just get insurance through their jobs. Not like they’ll need it until their 30s anyways.

Me, disabled at age 21 and unable to find a job that will accommodate me, much less provide insurance that will actually cover my needs: *closes YouTube and screams into a pillow*

#like news flash Debra but not only do most entry level/minimum wage jobs not provide any benefits whatsoever #but if they do offer benefits they withhold them for several months to a year to force you to stay with them #only for you to find out that their insurance doesn’t cover literally anything #not to mention most of those jobs simply refuse to accommodate people with disabilities #so like how the fuck is someone like me supposed to get a job like that to begin with #they literally never think about disabled people #I mean they rarely think about anyone but themselves #but they definitely don’t think about young disabled people.#‘get a job that provides insurance’ sure thing just as soon as I can afford the healthcare I’d need to be able to function #oh wait I can’t because I don’t have any fucking insurance #rant post #casual ableism

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