#btw ive been trying to process my grief or whatever over losing so much of my ability to function over the past year
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Immovable object (my chronic fatigue) vs unstoppable force (my desire to do literally anything other than lie in bed)
#was cooking nonstop for an hour yesterday#then did a bunch of dishes and some cleaning#my body did not appreciate that#i could tell when i was going to bed last night that i overdid it#but today was worse than i thought it would be#btw ive been trying to process my grief or whatever over losing so much of my ability to function over the past year#its not going well#thought a therapist might help but the ones i found and liked dont take my insurance#my last therapist specialized in trauma (was good at helping me process that) but isnt a good listener lol so i need someone else#im not thay motivated to find a new one though tbh#its a hassle and im too exhausted to deal with it#maybe ill save up all these feelings and put it into a fic someday#i talked to a fandom friend once about writing a story about a disabled character so maybe ill actually do that#someday#after i finish sgb#which will be a long time from now#a long long long time#at this rate#its so frustrating to be incapable of doing the things i want to do#especially when those things were within my capabilities not that long ago#i have to chill out about it though because emotions use energy and i have so very little of that to spare#ha ha#ha ha ha ha ha#its all good#we press on
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