#so you wont be getting it tonight
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peeps who wanted to vibecheck "chapter 16" before its officially posted, remind me who you are again so I can dm it to you
#also feel free to lmk whether you want to talk over discord or tumblr#my username is owlf45 on discord too so#just friend request me (if youre comfy with that)#im so sorry i wrote all day today but now I have to switch gears and uhm. actually do work for classes </3#so you wont be getting it tonight#but soon...ish?#depends#i was thinking...#actually wait im going to go post a new poll brb
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apocalypse doodlings aka We Couldve Had Grey Hair Erik And Charles Is There Too I Guess
#mcu#xmen#xmen movies#xmen apocalypse#erik lehnsherr#magneto#charles xavier#professor x#cherik#not really but sssshh theyre in the same post#snap sketches#anyway Be Surprised If You Will i just intended to do practice drawings of charles tonight#charles doodle is a vague redraw of the first charles doodle i made so thats fun i GUESS#its been a hot minute and james' face still eludes me but we're getting somewhere Probably. i hope.#but then i remembered micheal said originally they were going to make erik's hair go white in apocalypse and i crumbled#and i was JUST gonna leave it at the first erik drawing but then i was like 'can i draw him chilling for once' so. pseudo screencap redraw#it was so funny drawing the first two back-to-back on the same canvas cause i had Charming Charles in one folder#and i open the second one and its. Rage. Anger. and then to round it off He Got Better :) vjealkeajvLK#sorry i made the charles drawing look like a dating sim screenshot i was gonna leave the bg blank but i got mad at it being blank#so i cobbled that together. i cobble a dating sim appropriate bg together vjelkjea#its so funny a lot of times ill be like 'i wont draw a bg' and then ill make a quick one anyway i cant resist i apologize#ok im so sleepy so goodnight team my head hurt
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little doodles i drew after listening to the new ep to keep myself from biting into cement and then flopping around the floor like a fish
#malevolent#malevolent podcast#arthur lester#jarthur#john doe#privateeyes#i had to sit in school for 8 hours and all i did was think about Him#my oogly boogly#my scringlo rat#im so proud of my adopted pathetic man noise machine#as a reward he wont be getting thrown down the stairs affectionately tonight#legit feel like those parents w toddlers when they bring their child to the playground#and the kid just starts staring at anothef kid and im like awewewwww theyre best friends now#except instead of a kid its a grown ass man with deepseated trauma and a kill count#anyways as you can see im completely Normal#i am sane#i promise#(lie)
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Im just thinking, there's a really good chance we will see a protective Spock (over Jim) in SNW. Considering the first episode of TOS, where we can see Spock ready to shoot Gary the fuck down for being a threat to Jim.
#star trek tos#star trek snw#strange new worlds#spirk#spock#jim kirk#gary... what the fuck is his name - why have I forgotten this#...#gary mitchell#omg my brain#also would be cool to see an snw version of gary#since he was close friends with jim before he died#Also i totally forget kirk is like 26 in snw right now (if I remember correctly)#homie is SO young and he's first officer#you check out paul when he was in his 20s and he looked like a BABY x'''''''''''O#i wont get a proper tos remake cause all the actors will be too old#but Id love it#SO much#unless they do the 70s five year mission!!! WHICH WOULD BE AWESOME#saw all the weird spelling mistakes and missing words 🤔 forgive me my brain is not working tonight lmao
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Thoughts on prince Riko’s “perfect court” before anyone escaped Evermore ( @thefoxesraven pls remind me if it was you with the branding vs tagging idea on that insta live)
@snazzy-jas-z-is-a-fan-of came up with SO MUCH of the possible politics and family ties of this au, it was incredible to watch and I think I finally understand enough to post about it 😂 there’s a balance of power between the two branches of Evermore royalty, which balance is shifting slowly to the Moriyamas and by the end of the story belongs solely to them with Ichirou as king. I’ll try to explain it in a different post if there’s interest
(And lest we go a day without Abram angst: he does in fact get his brand and more, when he’s taken back to Evermore and Riko takes the chance to reclaim his property ‘like he should have done to begin with’.)
#CRIES I WROTE THIS WHOLE POST TAGS AND ALL AND LOST IT TO THE VOID#hhhhhh anyway. new designs who this#I think I’ve drawn riko maybe like. twice. and i wanted to give Jean curly hair#which 👀👀👀👀 sir#AND he gets to grow it out??#oh but it hurts to think about why Kevin and Jean#who both are closer and spend more time with riko than Nathaniel#would want to keep their hair short while at evermore#in this the ‘long haired men’ au#TOO MANY ANGSTY THOUGHTS TONIGHT#but thank you so much jas for your thoughts and incredible world building#AND I could go on MORE about the unnecessary measure of Riko branding Jean#it was just to be cruel and mock him and cause him pain#AND I COULD GO ON ALSO ABOUT ABRAM AND BRANDING#but I WONT because I learned there’s a TAG LIMIT#so if you want to know. you know where to find me#dms are open etc#im also on discord and insta#30 tags smh#fan art#my art#aftg#all for the game#royal au#neil josten#kevin day#riko moriyama#jean moreau#perfect court
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dig any deeper and Killer might get banned from manning the front next
#hashiart#undertale au#cursed coffee shop au#utmv#killer sans#killer!sans#dont ask questions you potentially dont want answers to!!!#please yall theres only so many places nightmare can put him where he wont be incredibly detrimental to the business#this was supposed to be queued for wednesday but i have zero self control so yall get it tonight LMAO#also im trying something different in which i dont color at all LMAO i am getting too lazy for that kgjshkjgs
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snacktime
#i think frisk eats pie like That and kris eats it normally with their fork and chara eats slices with their bare hands#deltarune#undertale#utdr#safeutdr#frisk#kris dreemurr#i wont fromt with you this is a bajillion years old#bc i wanted to draw chara fiending off of kris' plate to their right but i could never get it right. anyways#im going to open comms tonight or so help me god. ive been exploding in my brain about it for like 10 hours. idr how kofi works ok
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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3 years later and the nosebleed is back.
#riordanverse#mcga#magnus chase god of asgard#magnus chase#the og drawing for this is actually my forst art post on tumblr!#so thats neat#i like this one alot#its the first one i did in marker and not my watercolor + ink duo#ive actually redrawn this soooo many times#this is my quarterly art era so ill see you guys in june i guess#its just bcz im on spring break and im bored#made south park shrinky dinks tonight😎#oh creek#the only posts of mine that ever get notes are mcga or homestuck#you guys i know its cute but plz stop liking yhe things that keep me ip at night#maybe ill do more redraws who knows#u probs just wont see me for months again oh well#hope this post gets attention#hahhahaha you wish.
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Words can't begin to describe how much I hate that he has to write this and has to deal with that lunatic again and has to play nice.
#i also dont want to know or imagine what he must feel right now#america basically signed ukraines death tonight#is there a tiny bit of hope? yeah#but fuuuuuck#its going to be so much harder#so many more deaths#and we might actually see the genocide of the whole of ukraine and their end#not to mention the death of ze and his team#putin wont take them as prisoners#he will kill them if he ever gets his hands on them#i will never understand how people can be so full of hate and selfishness that they destroy everyone elses lives#make your own life miserable but leave everyone else alone#if europe had balls the war would be over now#ukraine would be free and peaceful#trump wouldnt be president#and ze would chill with his family at home and enjoy his life#sincerely fuck you to everyone who hesitated who didnt support who was a coward
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Usual "what others do isn't my business, my blogs are diaries and I'm allowed to have thoughts without telling others what to do" disclaimer
I'm getting so irritated for personal reasons (building storm, memories, personal disagreements with how this time and place in history treats gods, etc) with the lack of connection the average most connected people have to gods nowadays. I feel like at some point if you want to connect with, bond with, Lev and make him a part of your life you should at least once do trancework dances with him, or some other means of total body possession or an attempt at it and/or merging consciousness and eyes briefly
Hes such a hands on god and to an extent he will mirror you, less in terms of his nature being mirroring but more so because he will put in what you put in. If you give him distant love and distant channelling, treating him like the moon: something you know always has an effect on the waters of your life and something you revere but rarely see and keep in the distant sky... you'll get that. You'll get him directing you and stepping in like a stern and - examples don't matter honestly. Lev will pretty much always be cordial and roleplay the god you want in your life, but at the end of the day you'll always just be serving a distant purpose if you just set up an altar and keep him distant with distancing prayers
To actually bond with him... Things like drums and dancing, actually understanding That Which Makes The Waters Dance, actually understanding the Lord of Consciousness as ever-permeating... If you want to understand him you need to feel him, because he understands through feeling and being. Take a session of intense drumming and throwing yourself into a trance to actually understand the way he makes your body move, to feel the waters of your own body - blood, cerebrospinal fluid, semen, tears, saliva, whatever you have inside you - flow and move into place. Understand the mind of the Sky itself
Take something guided by him - theres so many reasons he's heavily associated with cannabis and alcohol - move yourself into his sphere, cross the boundaries between you. Throw yourself into the black of the sky and you'll find it's water.
There's so many things that forge actual bond with him. The Earth-Shaker doesn't move the Earth in Christian-esque rituals of praying to hollow temples and ringing gentle bells, he's the force that aligns your blood flow with beats in music, the beat itself, he's the drumming of hooves across the earth that tear into it and reorganise it, the wild horses that eat flesh alongside the wolves, the black dogs seeping through the veins in creation, the animal awareness peaking like bloodlust in the rutting deer... You absolutely can sit there meeting him in fancy robes in front of an altar where he commands you like a father or a god-husband but... again. i suggest anyone looking to actually work with him has at least one moment where the Sun itself burns a hole through your ignorance (ignorance is something we all have, we all wear) and shines its blinding light on your consciousness so that you have an atemporal space of connection to him from then on
#realising why he said drink with me tonight even though i dont drink#but anyway. theres a damn reason the people who seriously work with him do trancework with him and other possession-based things#veils and animal skin tools and dancing so hard under the rain all night gone from reality to the point that they didnt realise the sun#had even set. theres a reason he is cannabis. theres a reason he's the wilderness. there's a reason he's storms and natural disasters#and you can /call/ natural disasters to you and have them show up as.... how he shows up: no change. nothing happening. what you expect.#maybe he'll shake the foundations of your life a little but if youre calling the lord of destruction and disaster and not letting him#shake the earth - not letting him shake you. you are nature. you are a part of his realm. you are earth and water. you are blood. -#then you wont get him properly#leviathan //#ramblings //
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Hi!! Your Cherik is so good and gorgeous 🤩🤩 If you don't mind wanna try to draw some Fall of X Cherik please?
thank you so much !!
i have a couple of ideas relating to the fall of x period specifically since theres. A Lot i wanna play with, so i hope this lil thing may be a satisfactory start :]]
and the obligatory bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#fall of x#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#for clarity on of this tag ramble im calling magneto max OK ok#sorry it took me a while to answer- ive been busy this week !#but yah like i said theres a lot of Fall Of X moments i wanna poke at#one i really wanted to doodle around was max's time with the shadow king from Resurrection of Magneto#the third issue is prob my fave in general if im so tbh .... but i wont prattle bout that ill go back to my previous prattle#i dont think i have a comic in mind prob just a doodle with shadow charles....#i mean if im devious enough i can def turn it into a comic but for now i just know i wanna do something with that#honestly even this moment i might revisit when i have more time to draw something. a lil better#i dont hate this its a sound start- but i THINK i wanna draw a smooch. a lil kiss. idk we'll see#cause im cheeky like that. 'will this be the last time i see you' 'girl idk we can kiss about it though' etc etc#god not to get off topic but im so curious what will happen with these two ... but thats for a diff post i guess#honestly if you guys have any runs i should read lemme know !! i just finished way of x and bar that ive just been reading the 60s issues#i have a couple on my list i wanna check out but im always excited to look into recs if yall think theyre worth it !!#but ya. thats all from me for now#my time is so finite this week i hope i can draw these sillies again soon .. i have a lot of ideas i fear#maybe i can sneak in one more doodle tonight ... <- doubtful
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hewwo i havent drawn anything in like four months so heres a kip im actually pretty happy with hurray 🎉
#that hair is still very fun to draw#anyways im very off my game but this aint too bad so here you can have it#i did not get to what i wanted to get to tonight but thats okay. baby steps or whatever#(i say and then probably wont draw for another four months or whatever lmao)#..also yes ofc i will draw like thousand new kips every time he is my muse hes the reason i dug out my tablet today and everything#im just gonna stop rambling and leave this here please dont hate it im very sensitive about art lmao#wrestling#fanart#kip sabian#my beloved#kip in a box#night arts
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fighting the depression monday!! give it up for fighting the depression monday
#this time last year i was leaving the country#i was presenting at a conference and then my great uncle died suddenly and i went home for a few days before going to switzerland#europa i miss you so fucking bad#trying not to kill myself today im sure it's just my meds#i got them changed the other day and im trying the new ones tonight so i hope it helps#i have to continue on. i just have to. because maybe. just maybe next year i wont be here. and just like when i was 14 17 22 i wont kill#myself because i have to see what it's like for me to get fucking out of here. i have to see what's next or it was all for nothing.#suicide tw#lessons of the hand and the mouth
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#i have to let it out of my chest because today was fucking rough on here#it’s been for a few days actually because I’ve received much hate and I tried to ignore it as much as I could#between my blog being exposed by a huge other blog and getting dissed and then the controversy of my opinions on here#it was rough but I dealt with it. Today was different#i know I shouldn’t care about these things… I know it’s silly and all but#to read someone is ‘disgusted’ by my work and they wouldn’t read it because I should be ‘ashamed’ made me cry#i wont deny it lol I cried because… idk why would you be so nasty and cowardly send hate#not everyone has to like my story#damn not everyone has to read it#like i completely understand an historical AU with philosophy and slow burn is not everyone’s cup of tea#but like to be so nasty and make up lies only because you dont like what I said? idk#maybe I cant understand this behaviour because i would never in my life for the love of me#do this to any other person. not even the ones that I don’t like#but anyway i’ll be girl-reblogging any comfort content from Louis tonight#i know this won’t make any difference but it would be nice. it would be nice
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I LOVE YOU ❤❤❤❤/p
AAAUUUGGGHHH ARK MY LITTLE BROTHER you bring me such a nice feeling of peace and contentment ilysm I love talking to you and hearing from you and we need to figure out when we can keep watching lego city adventures bc that was so fun...
ALSO HAPPY HALLOWED WEEN!!!
#im feeling#emotional tonight#overwhelmed by love#you're my little brother and i love you to the ends of the earth#you're so important to me#i know exactly what to draw for your trick or treat when i can get to it#im just feeling pretty sick tonight so i wont have it done yet
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