#so you can see why this post is just one big keyboard smash
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#so me and my friends have this corner store we go to before rehearsals for our musical and really its just a fun inside joke that the drama#club has#and we've kinda been spreading it to our friends#and one of my friends(who happens to be the person i like) has never been#and ive been trying to get them to go for a while#and i have a delayed start school day so they wanted to try to go in before school#bc they usually cant after school#and so i asked if they wanted me to go too bc yk i could show them all the fun stuff bc i know all the jokes for this store and also bc i#like them#aND THEY SAID YES SO NOW IM GOING TOMORROW#and idk why this feels weird but it feels different#but maybe not?#maybe im reading too much into it#?#I DONT KNOW#so you can see why this post is just one big keyboard smash
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Okay. So Imma just come out and say it.
Y'all who read fanfic. You. Need. To. Start. Commenting. On. Fics.
I have been told I'm a great writer. I've been told I'm spot-on with characterization. I've been told I'm great at making readers feel and experience what the characters are feeling and experiencing. Been told it's like the reader is in the room as everything plays out.
However, when I see that my fics have upwards of 1K hits and maybe 100-300 comments and maybe 40-100 kudos and not even hitting triple digits in the bookmarks/subscriptions to a fic... Well, what would you think in my shoes?
Most likely, if you're like me, you're thinking all kinds of negative things (especially if you have mental illness/ADHD/neurodivergency of some kind). Stuff like... Oh, those other people are just being nice (not fair to them so I try not to think this way but negative self talk doesn't play nice with me).
Or I think... Okay so they checked it out. They had to click on the fic for it to even register the hit, right? So why don't I at the very least have more kudos? That's the easiest option on there (though it's like a like on here; if you are gonna leave kudos please also leave a comment), right? So what was wrong with my fic that I don't have more kudos at least.
But then I get on here and see so many comments and reblogs on FANART (still not enough for them either though lbr). THE POINT IS... If you read a fic. If you read it and liked it, you all really need to start commenting.
It doesn't even have to be long paragraphs or quoting or any of the âš big comments âš stuff. You could leave an emoji that be showing me what my fic or update got you feeling. You can do keyboard smash. If the author asks for it, you can leave constructive criticism (but only if the author has actively asked for it; if they haven't or given you permission, then don't). You can absolutely do big comment things too.
One of my favorite type of comments to get are the quoting ones. You just copy/paste and then say what you liked about it or what it made you feel or your reaction to it. Things like that. I love when my readers tell me their fave parts in an update. Or quote a line and tell me their thoughts and feels. Just yes.
We are far too advanced in this day and age and fanfiction and fandom are wholly more accepting than it used to be but for some reason, comments and reactions have become almost non-existent compared to when I was 15. And I was... Pretty cringy in my writing back then but I can admit that. But every chapter I'd get at least 8-10 comments. A chapter!
Even earlier in my Twst series I was getting A LOT more comments and with every fic it seems to have dropped significantly.
To me, to my brain, that tells me that my writing is suddenly sucky or I lost my talent or I'm not actually as great a writer as I was told because then why aren't more people commenting.
You might try to argue and say you're shy. Do you comment on order things? Do you tack onto a reblog to put out some addition to the original post? Do you chat with people in the fandom? Do you comment on fanart?
Then what makes a fanfic any different? (This is not including smut fics because I get but necessarily wanting it tied back to you. But if you open ao3 in a browser you aren't logged into ao3 on, you can (as long as the author has allowed it) post a comment anonymously. Yeah!)
You might say oh well I don't have time to comment right now. But you had time to read the fic? You had time to reblog that shit post? You had time to comment on the tags on a fanart you really loved? Thing is, unless you want to write a long one, comments do not take that long to leave. They really don't.
If you're worried the author doesn't want to hear from youâI'll stop you right there. The author ABSOLUTELY wants to hear from you.
So now is the time to stop making excuses to be lazy. You are reading really great fan literature for free. The least you can do as a thank you and to show support is to COMMENT. ON. THE. FIC.
And if you wanna really make an author's day and help support them and their work, REC the fic. REC the Author's work list. You can do that to friends you know would like it or even better, make a post about the fics and link your recs.
It's really not that hard and we should not have to beg. Realize the blessing you have that fics you would enjoy exist for free and do your part. COMMENT.
#okay off my soap box#thank you for your time#comment on fics#comment ao3#ao3#ao3 fanfic#twst#twisted wonderland#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#long post
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Poptastic Words: Alexis, Portraits: Pulp Interviewed back-stage at the Highbury Garage, 15 May 1993 Catharsis Fanzine, Issue 4 Transcription: Acrylic Afternoons
"I'm Candida. Hello. I play keyboards." "I'm Jarvis. I'm the singer." "I'm Steve. I play bass." "I'm Russell. I play guitar and violin." "Therefore Nick's the drummer." sums up Candida.
And there you have Pulp - the world's greatest pop band. A band who have "been in Smash Hits" and have even had the honour of having one of that magazine's "Single of the Fortnight". Not that Jarvis can see the band ever being as big as, say, Take That or East 17.
"I can't see too many posters going up."
Pulp were formed by Jarvis whilst at school and the current line up has been together for about five years. But why did they all want to be in a band in the first place?
"I think we wanted to frustrate ourselves," says Candida.
"We're complete sado-masochists," backs up Nick.
Is it what you all always wanted to do?
"Yeah," confirms Jarvis. "I, kind of, wanted to do it at school. I used to imagine, when I was in the school's dinner queue, that I wouldn't have to queue up if I was famous. It's not particularly true. That's what I thought it would be like but it's not."
So, after deciding he wanted to be a pop star, Jarvis went to film school. Why?
"That was after we'd been doing the band for a while but I was disillusioned. We'd been messed around by loads of record companies and the final straw was when the bass player became a born again Christian and left the band. It all seemed a big mess. We didn't actually split the band up but I thought I ought to do something else cos it's all I'd been doing since I left school and I thought my brain was drying up. I thought I ought to do something else to keep it alive a bit."
Now it's 1993 and it's going to be a good year for Pulp. Their records are being picked up on - their last single 'Razzmatazz' got Single of the Week in Melody Maker - and it is rumoured that they have signed to Island Records.
"We're with them spiritually..."
"I don't think we've signed or anything," says Jarvis over Nick.
"...we're, kind of, engaged. It's been a long engagement."
"But long engagements are the best," stresses Russell.
Why do you think it's taken so long for Pulp to be appreciated (Pulp has been around in various forms for about fifteen years)?
Steve: "It's our turn."
Jarvis: "We've been waiting in queue for a long time."
Steve: "It's like when you go to the Post Office and you want a stamp but you'll wait for everyone else to go."
Jarvis: "We're very polite y'see so we didn't push in."
Nick: "We wouldn't have that."
Jarvis: "So we waited our turn."
Did it get depressing in the meantime? "No," continues Jarvis. "There's always other things to do. If you choose to sit at home thinking, "Why aren't I famous?", then you would be quite a sad character. You can always ride your bike or something."
Did you think you'd be doing it this long when you first started?
"No. I would've been horrified. I always thought pop music was supposed to be quite instant. You didn't hang around for a decade. To be doing it for so long is very strange."
How did Pulp sound when you started?
"Awful."
"It was all feedback," explains Steve.
"Yeah," recalls Jarvis. "It was a noise. Not on purpose, or anything. It was just ineptitude. I started when I was young and we just couldn't play. We still can't play very well but I don't think that matters."
What does matter then?
"It's not what you can play, it's what you can say."
And what are Pulp saying?
"That's put you on the spot," cries Nick gleefully.
"Well, it's not that we've got something to say as in there's a big message for the world. U2 are trying to shake off that image now but before they were always doing the chest beating and coming up with their big slogans. It's not like that. Hopefully it's an accurate reflection of our lives."
In that case Pulp must lead very strange lives. The opening lines of 'Razzmatazz' were, "The trouble with your brother/he's always sleeping with your mother/and I know that your sister's missed her time again this month".
"I don't think they're seedy," states Jarvis. "They're just true to life. I think they're deadpan and down to earth. I don't think they're strange. Razzmatazz is a bit sad. Babies (the single before Razzmatazz... sample lyric: I wanna take you home/I wanna give you children) is just a thing you get up to when you are fourteen and certain things are still still taboo and you get into situations because of curiosity."
What does your mother think about your lyrics?
"I don't think she's bothered. She's not made any detrimental comments. She thinks the songs should be happier. I'd rather her take no notice actually because once I went round there at Christmas and she insisted on playing the record all the time when my relatives were there. It was embarrassing. Everyone comes up and pats you which isn't very good. Also, if you're on TV or radio at your mothers then it's very embarrassing."
"Shouldn't have your hair like that."
"Smile a bit more."
"Why don't you play some happy ones."
To get to know Pulp a little better we decided to ask each member of the band to describe the others. We allotted them one word per person. Below are the results.
Nick: Candida... petite. For Jarvis I'd say dishevelled. Steve is organised and Russ is er... too tough sometimes.
Candida: Nick's loud. Jarvis is temperamental. Steve is organised and Russell is good at business.
Jarvis: For Nick I would say... high. Candida is fluorescent. Steve is clean. Russell... I'd say feedback.
Steve: Nick is too loud. Candida is calm. Jarvis is unique and that's not a compliment. Ha Ha Ha. Russell is manic.
Russell: Nick is Jean Paul. Candida is toys. For Jarvis I'd say praying mantis and Steve I would say is a cigar.
During this game several compliments and disparaging remarks were handed out and taken with apparent ease and false stroppiness in turn. Pulp complimenting each other makes them happy, but what is the nicest thing an outsider could say about them?
"I don't know. I get embarrassed if people are nice to me," says Jarvis whilst Russell lines up the butts of his cigarettes in size order. "l find it hard to accept people being nice. I always think they' re after something."
"You're paranoid," offers Steve as an explanation. "l don't know why it is. It's like when you eat out at a restaurant, not that I do very often, but when I do I don't like the waiters always coming over and supposedly being nice. (Adopts slimey voice.) "Is everything O.K. for you sir?". I find that makes my flesh crawl. I'd rather they just give it to you and then let you eat and talk to whoever you're with."
"The nicest thing someone could do to you is put a plate of food down and walk away?" asks Russell incredulously.
"I don't mean just slap it down. Put it down, then go away. I don't want them hanging around with the violin in your ear. The niceness is a bit like that."
Do you also hate it when people are horrible to you Jarvis?
"Oh yeah. I like general blandness. Ha Ha Ha. If somebody comes up to you and says "You're great", it's nice but it's also..."
"...a conversation killer," finishes Russell.
"It's a northern thing as well," observes Steve. "In Sheffield no one Would ever go up and say, "I think you're great"."
"That's why," confirms Russell, "it's uncool. It's us that's wrong but..."
"The best compliment we get is if someone says we're alright. It's good to know that other people like you but you'd rather hear it second hand," explains Jarvis.
"The first time someone said it to us we thought we'd misheard them," says Nick.
"Do you know who we are?" adds Russell.
"Yeah," continues Nick. "l thought they'd got the wrong band."
You said earlier that you don't like people being mean to you - does criticism upset you?
"Well" says Jarvis with a pained expression, "if somebody writes something like, "He's a tall, lanky streak of piss with no discernible talent. How has he managed to delude himself for so many years?" you can't just go, "Oh, yeah. Fair enough, everybody's entitled to their own opinion"."
"Truth hurts. Ha Ha Ha." comments Steve.
"It's too bad they were right," agrees Russell rubbing more salt into Jarvis's wounds. "We do like people to like us. We're not just doing this for ourselves. We want people to like it."
"But we don't pander," warns Jarvis.
What do you think about the "Crimplene scene" which is the current press play thing? Does it bother you that you've been lumped into that?
"We started it," boasts Steve jokingly.
"I don't think it exists. It's not healthy," complains Jarvis. "No. Crimplene makes you sweat. We'd rather be the British cotton scene."
"It's true," supports Nick. "Avoid Crimplene at all costs."
"I like seventies bands like Denim. Is that the Crimplene scene?" asks Russell.
From what I've read, it's you, Suede, Saint Etienne etc.
"We used to get compared to Marc Almond and World Of Twist so..."
"If I was going to chose a scene to be associated with," remarks Steve, "it would be that one but it's not like we meet at Oxfam on a Saturday afternoon and fight over classic Crimplene. None of us like it."
"I still don't think it exists," says Jarvis persistently.
If there is a scene then Pulp are the leaders of the pack. They might not be the biggest, but they are the best. In terms of sex, glamour and everything that counts they are the only band you need to know. They leave the rest of their ilk in a trail of dust. The songs are gorgeous uplifting affairs with secret tales of suburban life as lyrics. It is pure genius.
"A lot of sexual perverts like us," offers Russell helpfully. "They write us strange letters. Post grunge and post shoe gazing there is a new sort of person on the streets and they like us. People in stripey tops quite like us."
"French people like us," announces Candida.
Do any of you ever get recognised in the streets?
"Yeah," states Jarvis. "I was saying to Russell the other day, that I've always had people taking notice of me in the streets in Sheffield - usually in a bad way. They called me names and things. It does still happen. In fact I nearly had a fight yesterday 'cos this boy decided to push me. But people have started to recognize me and be a bit more friendly now. It's strange 'cos I'm always getting ready to flinch when they come up and then they say something nice and catch me off guard."
What names did they call you?
"Because I've always worn glasses it just used to be someone famous with glasses. Elvis Costello, Buddy Holly. Just anybody who wore glasses. I used to have a beard for a bit and then I was called Rolf Harris all the time. They weren't very imaginative."
Well, those people were obviously mad. Jarvis is, without a doubt, a sex symbol for the nineties along with all the others in the band. At the gig that took place after this interview Jarvis was practically pulled off the stage by adoring females. O.K. - so we know they are attractive, but how sexy out of ten does each member of the band think he/she is?
"We're all going to say ten aren't we?" asks Candida.
"You might, but I wouldn't," retorts Steve.
"I think it changes during the day," decides Nick. "When you get up in the morning you're probably a minus. The later it gets the better it gets. If it's a good day you might peak at two."
"You just about make a two, Steve," jokes Jarvis.
"Anyone who says above seven has problems," says Steve wisely.
"You'd catch them playing with themselves in front of a mirror when you came in here," suggests Jarvis.
"That means you were about a nine in the van today, then, when we set off," says Steve whilst trying to wind up Jarvis.
"Yeah?"
"I didn't think you were a nine, you thought you were."
"Self-masturbation," adds Nick helpfully.
"That's another thing that other people have to decide upon," Jarvis remarks sensibly.
"Obviously it's nice if people do find you that way."
At this point Nick's brother enters the room and Russell starts loudly announcing that "this one goes up to eleven" if you twist the nipple and put a little shilling in the slot. Everyone has hysterics.
But, don't get me wrong, Pulp take what they do incredibly seriously. They are a deadly serious band. I know this because Nick told me four times. They are funny, the music is not. Pulp are also clever, sexy, glamorous, beautiful, talented, strange, normal, erotic, under-famous, unique, sleazy, stylish and every other compliment ever. If you feel the need to check out the high life or if you just need that extra sparkle - look no further than Pulp. They're the most fun you'll ever have.
You can write to Pulp at P.O. Box 87, Sheffield, S6 2YZ and you can become a Pulp person by sending ÂŁ3 to the same address.
#pulp#russell senior#jarvis cocker#candida doyle#nick banks#steve mackey#90s#interview#printed interview
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How do you handle how low key racist toward Japan a lot of fandom is in favor of shoving only American cultural viewpoints into things? I'm so tired...
hm.... a loaded question. short answer for how i handle this:
I don't.
i just. don't. i don't even try to process what i know for sure is a bad take at all, and i make it a point to curate my online spaces as much as possible.
(or at least, i do on very very rare occasions if i feel arsed enough to hop on my keyboard to smashing out a more educated post about it based on my own understanding. more on this in a bit.)
if i go into a fandom tag and i see rampant nonsense, such as during the 1st two months of fire emblem engage's release or some incredible pumpkin spice latte takes, and i feel like it's just too much bc im getting angry, i just disengage. i might read if i feel like it, but if its too hostile i don't add to the conversation. i leave. i don't pass go bc i have waaaay better things to do than potentially engage in a conversation im already not happy to have.
in some occasions i even block. if i feel like someone is being a dipshit in the posts i make with their tags even, i block.
and i suspect im not the only one. how often do you see asians who reside outside of the west actively partake in fandom discussions? its such a drain of energy when it goes bad. most asians are working faaaaar longer hours than the average westerner in the average office setting. i mean, fuck, man. if i want to have fun, im not coming to a place i know i wont be having much. (ofc we are all having it bad. the point is: limited energy is a big factor for why going against the general set consensus is a bad idea)
i've been dealing with this for the past 10 years. minimum. it has always been like this. it has ever always been like this everywhere.
soooome fandoms are chiller than others for sure. but i dont actively participate in fandoms bc: im tired and my attention hops all over the place.
im ALSO gonna drag proship antis DNI into this ramble bc i believe strongly this culture is an evolution of the old 'your fave is problematic' culture mixed with puritanism culture and i hate it. i hate it bc it gets applied to everywhere, even in a japanese/asian culture space where people in fandoms are generally more "you stay in your lane i stay in mine, we're all freaks, just dont break any laws or be terrible". understand that east asian society in general is collective compared to western's more individualistic one, which reinforces that lane thinking. so all these high moral showing-off is just a big pissing contest to me.
in fact its such a pissing contest i actively refuse to follow people who have DNIs in their profiles. id have more respect for those who can say 'i dont like xyz, its not my cup of tea'. its a normal response, i think.
and im done ranting about my personal feelings :v. some practical advice from my dumb of ass:
a person knows what they know
a person doesnt know what they dont know (ignorance)
a person cannot be taught what they dont want to know (willful ignorance)
a willfully ignorant person is not anyone's job to directly fix. only they can check themselves.
hostility begets more hostility. anger is an addictive emotion. block and move on if someone is consistently being annoying/a pos online, its not worth the mental bandwidth
a person wants to know what they know they don't know (curiosity)
if theres something educational worth sharing that can be communicated in a digestible way, it is sometimes worth it. people like reading, but more importantly, communicating. be that with the OP or their own group.
and also, im not immune to any of the behaviors i dont like above myself. there are also limits in what i know. :v hypocritical of me lmao
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can you describe ur relationship with ur moots using different kpop idol ship dynamics?
(hopefully that makes sense!!đŁ)
wait i actually love this prompt HELLO??? also, i only chose the mutuals i talk to on a regular basis and feel like i know well enough for this so im so sorry if i didn't mention youđ
@sungbeam ⯠nct mark & haechan (aka soulmates)
if we havenât advertised about this enough already, beam and i are certified soulmates likeđ like mahyuck we literally tease each other about our side hoes (*COUGH ch*ngm*n) but we will never hesitate tell each other how much we mean to each other. idk if mark had ever exclusively mentioned this about haechan but i truly believe beam and i were cosmic coincidences (soulmates) like i feel at home with her, she is my safe space
@polarisjisung ⯠nct mark & yuta (24/7 flirting)
idek how to tell yâall, its literally playful flirts back and forthđ and like yuta, hua wins most of the timeâŠ. literally bf who? but literally i would say our friendship is so wholesome tho, like if we were to meet irl i can imagine us like that one yuta and mark date at the restaurant
@wuahae ⯠tbz sunwoo & changmin (menaces to society)
it just works. if u guys see our messages to each other itâs literally keyboard smashes and screaming about some random topicđ we both take turns insulting each other tbh but đ„°lovinglyđ„° but also like.... i don't think we can mentally and emotionally go without talking to each other everyday like idk what to tell u we literally are stuck together. ok but jokes aside, i feel like sunwoo clicked with changmin really well and have a deep trust in him just like i feel towards cat
@jaeminvore ⯠nct haechan & johnny (the enablers)
weâre like⊠enablers of the inner chaos of each other. literally i could have the most feral thought and nics would be the first to be like yesđđđ just like johnny constantly defending haechan HAHAHHAH
@winterchimez ⯠tbz jacob & sunwoo (gentle mother with her chaotic ass child)
can i just say how much i adore ally likeđ she is so big sister energy but also like mother energy at the same time!! i feel like with jacob and sunwoo, ally is both very concerned.... towards my chaotic ass irl actions but also like entertained at the same time OAFOEF LOOK- she is my mum (in the non weirdest way possible) period.
@zzoguri ⯠tba sunwoo & new (tom and jerry)
admittedly... i like teasing moni. why? well,,,, i love them that's whyđ ok. but, like chanhee and sunwoo's relationship i feel like our relationship is the perfect balance of very fun but also very deep at the same time. like we could literally be swearing at each other when playing game pigeonđ but then could be venting about personal things the next second. i feel like sunwoo can really rely on chanhee for advice or hardships which reminded me of moniđ
@from-izzy ⯠tbz sunwoo & eric (sibling energy)
i contemplated putting jaemin and jeno down but i feel like izzy and i give off more sibling energy then old married couple JBEWOFOWF i always have fun talking to izzy on vc like i miss her presence if we haven't spoken in a while even tho we might not outright say it
@invuwrld ⯠tbz younghoon & new (the biggest cheerleaders)
can i just say mona is literally the biggest hypewoman? like. post a pic on deoboyznet and i can bet ur ass mona will be the first one to reply and it will literally make my day LIKE HEAISNPI?!?!?! and i would literally not hesitate to do the same for her. hoon and chanhee seem to hype each other up all the time and their interactions were always so cute to me just like ours hehe
@jaehunnyy ⯠riize shotaro & sungchan (pair of besties)
IF CHIP ISNT THE IRL VER OF SHOTARO IDK WHO IS because girl. she is literally the sweetest human being ever and just like shotaro, she took me into her arms the day we met and i have never left since
@mosviqu ⯠svt hoshi & shinee taemin
i always looked up to bar when it came to writing and still do, like i have such high respect for her and still fangirling that we're moots OIUBQOEUFBOW but like hoshi and taemin, i would like to say that we're getting closer hehe
bonus:
@/wuahae @/zzoguri ⯠tbz new, q & sunwoo
istg there's just chaos when we're together like idek what to tell you. HEAVY EMPHASIS on when we play crazy 8 SKSJSJSJSJ like last time, cat and i literally ganged up on moniđ like we all love each other but we will literally bicker all the time OIHFOIGHWE (not to mention the fact that we genuinely have attachment issues.......) LITERALLY SOULMATES!!!! (the pattern confirmed everyone)
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Answer the questions and tag five fanfiction authors you know!
tagged by @sarahowritesostucky, thank you lovely!! đđ no pressure tagging: @late-to-the-party-81 @sparkagrace @bittersweet-in-boston @otpcutie @apple-writes
đ How did you get into writing fanfiction?
I feel like that's asking "how did you join Tumblr" it just happened đ
đHow many fandoms have you written in?
One, technically, which is nothing compared to others but I enjoy exploring my ideas with the MCU and its characters. I'm not sure I'd get the same feeling with other fandoms, like say, supernatural.
đHow many years have you been writing fanfiction?
It'll be four this summer. Again, not long, but considering I denied myself as being a writer for several years? That's progress and growth.
đDo you read or write more fanfiction?
It depends on the muse and all sorts of other things. Sometimes I'm punching out oneshot after oneshot, while other times I'll be focused on a longfic and will read in between and stuff. Like currently!
đWhat is one way you've improved as a writer?
Writing more. Reading more. Writing more again. But also letting go of sticking to a strict outline. I'm a planster. I'll plan the major things, but everything else is made up as I go.
đDo you have any bad habits as a writer?
I'll often start or continue writing a scene and will find myself stuck, thinking it's the end of the world, and then realize my whole issue is a few lines above what I'm trying to make work. Happens so often you'd like I would be used to it by now.
đ What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?
I don't know about weird, but I've been doing a ton of medical research for my future doctor/patient AU. I've searched around for all sorts of things lol even for a sentence that I'll likely not end up using.
đWhat's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?
Keyboard smashes. Long detailed comments about the plot/relationship/pining/etc. Comments that mention a tiny detail I included, those are the best when people notice them. But also, any comment.
đWhat's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?
Crack fics? I don't think I write a lot of outlandish stuff, at least I wouldn't consider them to be đ
đ„What is the hardest type of story for you to write?
Uhhh... *stares blankly at my open doc* Ones with big plot. I love it, it makes the story even more fun to write, but MAN plot can be tricky. Catch me saying "Did everyone see that? Because I will not be doing it again" like Captain Jack Sparrow when I finish a longfic, and then immediately start planning another one to write.
đWhat is the easiest type?
Short oneshots with hardly any plot. Which isn't often because almost everything I write ends up being longer than I anticipated.
đWhere do you do your writing? What platform? When?
Docs. I used to use Smartedit Writer and organize by chapters, but ehhhh I just throw ideas onto a separate doc and go from there. Why plan extensively when my characters will do a 180 on me all the time? And almost always at night, sometimes during the day when time/the muse allows me.
đWhat is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?
I was just thinking about this recently. I have never written a post TWS recovery fic. It's on my 'to write' bucket list, so I hope to tackle a lengthy canon fic one of these days. I love reading canon fics where they're on missions and the plot is centered around HYDRA or some other big bad, I feel like those are trickier to write than AUs. But everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and I know coming up with detailed worlds/world building isn't a walk in the park for some.
đ what made you choose your username?
I didn't know what to name my Marvel sideblog when I was making it so... I just decided Bucky + metal arm + aw crap that name is taken = Metalbvcky đ€Ł
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opening up notes bc i already know this is gonna be another chapter that serves and i need to keyboard smash all my feels
can i just start off by saying yun tapping bug's language or yun holding bug's hand or anything related to his hands has me reeling bc ive recently developed such a huge thing for them it's embarrassing aslfkdgsajg like they're so pretty it's illegal also apparently his hands are 21cm ??? like ??? my hands are probably the size of his palm someone hold me pls
im melting bug used to be so alert during her sleep she would subconsciously be waiting in fear of danger and she would rarely ever leave her good eye covered bUT NOw she's subconsciously reaching for physical contact and comfort from the boys AND THEN YOU'RE TELLING ME SHE'S ALSO COMPLETELY TRUSTING JONGHO TO PROTECT HER WHILE SHES ASLEEP OGM MY HERART
intermission to tell you just how much i love each and every single interaction that you put into each chapter bc they are such simple moments and actions that could easily be skipped over when thinking about the grand scheme of the plot but you always manage to highlight their significance in bug's journey of healing. ltm is the epitome of it's the little things in life â€ïž
seeing bug curled on the floor next to san's bed was so cute but also so bittersweet. i think ateez need a new cavern where the whole floor is just bed so they can all be close and have cute puppy piles. also PLEASE HAHA not bug going đ„”đ„” seeing hongjoong's forearm muscles đȘđȘ honestly though,,, same
my lack of vocab cannot express the amount of feels i got from bug finally giving captain his name symbol bc it's not even just 'hongjoong' but 'MY hongjoong' and it encompasses so many meanings like home and their heartbeats brb im ugly crying
Briefly, thereâs a startling realization that they donât change for you either. -> đWEđLOVEđCHARACTERđDEVELOPMENTđANDđSELFđLOVE đ i love the parallels revealed between hongjoong's and bug's past because hopefully bug can start to realise that she is also capable of displaying the scar on her face without worrying and finding love in this little family just like hongjoong has
woosan peering over the edge of the bed to look at bug and hongjoong only serves to reiterate my point that they need a nine-person mattress stat. and the way they giggled together like kids i swear they're the cutest
also my tag doesn't work idk why but it's okay bc i check your posts more religiously than i wake up for work so jks on tumblr đ
AHHHH I LVOE YOU SO MUCH <333
the way my heart goes !!#!$!$! whenever I get a long ask after a new chapter is posted xD I love them SO MUCH <33
ok but yunho's hands are SO pretty,, I definitely have liked more than one TikTok of his hands so you're not alone xD
bug trusting jongho to guard her in her sleep <333 she really was sleeping for quite a bit of this chapter xD but that's okay, she needed it :'))
intermission to tell you that I love you SO MUCH <33 I'm so glad you guys don't mind the slow pacing with these little interactions! they might be considered filler in some stories but the slow progression is really important to me in this story :"D
also ateez should definitely just make a cave with just mattresses on the floor for one big bed xD they def need the cuddling space :}}
(and SAME bug, I too am weak for joong's forearm muscles xD)
MY hongjoong <333 crying screaming throwing up they love each other SO MUCH,, and joong's name symbol does indeed have the word for 'home' in it :") I was wondering if anyone would pick that up hehe >:D
also bug đ€ hongjoong đ€ zuko đ€ having shitty father figures HAHA,, but yes bug's growing so much :")) finally beginning to realize that she is not her past and she can grow into her own person with ateez <3
woosan giggling like teenagers with crushes made me so happy I swear xD yeosang was done with their shit and just wanted to sleep HAHA
also I'm not quite sure why your tag doesn't show up :(( I've been poking around on tumblr but sometimes blog's just don't pop up when I try to tag them D: I hope I can get it sorted out tho! I'm glad that you were able to find the new chapter without it tho <3
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ALL OF THIS
Listen, creatives can so often be fragile creatures, and even the smallest bit of support can help take up back up to the peaks of our emotional rollercoaster of creation. More on that subject right here:
Beneath the cut - a quick note on the best ways to support creators and help them through art/writer's block!
Tiers of Support:
If you want to support creatives and give them a boost, there are different things you can do depending on your time and energy! I don't judge anyone for what they do or don't choose to do, I know there are plenty of reasons you may not have energy for a comment or might not even want to leave a visible like/share on NSFW content. That's ok! But if you do want to know what really helps creatives:
Level 1 - Likes/Kudos/Post Reactions
Quick click, show a little appreciation to chase the blues away~
Level 2 - Sharing
Either a basic quick share without comment, or better add a comment to it, a recommendation, a reason for your followers to visit the work and leave their own appreciation for it!
Level 3 - Short Comment
Even a feral keyboard smash to convey your excitement and appreciation can be an instant smile!
Level 4 - Long Comment
Giving a longer comment is even more of a boost - let the artist/writer know what it is you liked most about their work!
Level 5 - Extra Detailed Comment
God Tier and high effort but it is the most validating thing to see on our works! Give us a blow by blow breakdown. Analyse the posing, lighting, brush strokes, and art style. Pick out your favourite lines and plot points in fic and tell us how they made you feel. Essay-length comments have been known to boost creatives to the peak of their abilities, so if you have the time and energy to spend please consider this option!
Again, there's no pressure to do any of these, and we all know there are many reasons why you may not want to or might not be able to and that's ok! Just remember if you do want to know how to support your favourites, these are the things that really fill our hearts~
My love to all the creatives out there and to everyone who supports us in big or small ways <3
#creative block#writer's block#art block#how to support artists#how to support writers#likes kudos and reactions matter to us!
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The Penny x Atticus agenda was furthered in the post game and Iâm so happy. Iâm making this rarepair from my own two hands screenshotting every second of interaction and smashing my keyboard if I have to!Â
Until someone else finds a better name or something, Iâll call this ship SewnEevee shipping! Since Penny clearly has a fondness for eevee and wears that big plush backpack of hers, and one of Atticusâ main interest is sewing and clothes! You could make really cute headcanons with that too, hehe
Now, the whole âmy greatest treasureâ is a very obvious and intense profession of affection, but thatâs with whole team Star, so. Why do I ship these two in particular? Easy, just look at the screenshots! Atticus has this formal and old-fashioned way of speaking and uses titles frequently, but lordship titles? If Iâm not mistaken sheâs the only person he uses lord and lady with, and itâs not a one time nickname either; he uses it for her thrice (the only times he adresses her while knowing her identity in the whole game) which suggests it is the way heâll be referring to her from then on. Idk about you but it sounds very flattering and romantic to me, itâs not don or comrade or such else- sheâs special in the way he adresses people. Itâs not exactly a term for equals like comrade is, nor shows some hierarchy like calling her boss, itâs truly an honorific. And then, the first thing he says to her after discovering her identity is âyouâre pretty mâladyâ, like, everyone else is like, normal greetings or âwow itâs nice seeing youâ (you can see the lines here) but him? He goes the extra mile to say her appearance/presence is pleasing or rejuvenating or whatever. It stood out so much in the moment I immediately started shipping them lol. Also âoh noble and kind big bossâ to me sounds like an even larger amount of simping than the othersâ way of talking about Cassiopeia too lol. On the other hand, you could say that Penny has an equal amount of affection and care for every team Star member, and that that affection is of the same nature for every one, but!! See the post game interaction there??! Indeed, brethren, thy eyes are not mistaken. She worries for him most!! You could say thatâs not necessarily a good thing and youâd be right, but it does mean she has him on the brain and in a way she cares for him most/in a special way compared to the others. But ho, ho-ho oh no that is not all, for!!!!! She calls him handsome too!!!!!! Sheâs so shocked she jumps back and goes âno, focus!! He might get hurt stop looking at his pretty eyelashes!!â. Mate do you know how often they call characters pretty in Pokemon? Once in a red moon. In this game, itâs Rika, Tulip and then Atticus. Like, wow ok. They be crushing on each other highkey. Iâm honestly shook at how high of a level they made it canon. Also! Penny gets three post custscenes with the other team star members, one is with Giacomo and Ortega, one with Mela and Eri, and the other one is with Atticus alone! Team Star has 5 members (Penny excluded) so of course they were going to need to cut it uneven, but still, Atticus is the one given more or less more importance here! Also!!! Atticus is the only one she doesnât have a nickname for, she calls him by his full name!! Coincidence??! I think not! Omfg guys she breaks her nickname convention for him and he calls her his lady theyâre so special to each otherâŠ
I just think theyâd be good for each other, and cute together! Atticus obviously thinks highly of her and I canât see why they wouldnât get along swimmingly well when hanging out, especially if they share an interest like say plushies (and Penny could pirate animes for him for free and they could watch them together <3 because!! Itâs mentioned that Penny likes binging them and Atticus is obvi into it, Naruto stan lol). Theyâre both introverted and are somewhat quiet, esp for Penny sheâd enjoy his gentle and composed countenance more than the rowdier characters (which is canon esp if you look at the time they spent in Area Zero), and man. Heâs so honest and direct and I think that sheâd appreciate that a lot, seeming pretty blunt and no-nonsense herself. Also, heâs very capable of and confident about standing for himself and his friends, so I think once she realizes that more itâd ease her anxiety a bit. Atticus is just so gentlemanly and itâs highkey charming and idk sheâs already a bit đł about him it wouldnât take her much to full on pine imo. I wanna finish by saying: Some would call her judgy and mean for being worried for him bc he has an unconventional demeanor (and appearance)Â but I wanna reiterate that this is out of care and trauma from having been bullied herself: itâs being realistic, and sheâs otherwise never shown any reluctance or dislike of his interests in the least so, there ainât an argument to make here imo. Plus it literally got addressed and she set out to better herself on it, so.
#pokemon#team star#atticus#penny#pokemon sv#pokemon scarvi#pokemon scarlet#sewneeveeshipping#penny x atticus#atticus x penny#atticus pokemon#penny pokemon#rarepair#let the pokemon sv rarepair suffering begin#spoilers#pokemon spoilers
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##â â you can never trust anyone, not even your own best friend. thinking that this blind date would go smoothly like hu tao states, it didnât. why? because the person she set you up with is currently your rival from college! and whatâs even worse â heâs now the newest member of your favorite idol group 5KY! hopefully after this date you wonât see him anymore, right?
. ÖșÛȘ â Ę CONTENT. enemies to friends to lovers, academic rivals to lovers, everyone is presumably 20-24, slight angst, fluff, mentions of drinking and smoking, cursing, slow burn, modern/college au, i use they/them for the reader, crack
. ÖșÛȘ â Ę STATUS. jan 5 to, VERY slow updates, taglist is open! ON HOLD!
. ÖșÛȘ â Ę NOTE. YAYA I FINALLY POSTED IT IM SO HAPPY!! anyways guys pls send me an ask or comment here if you want to be added to the taglist âŒïžđ„ anything written will have a (âŒïž)
. ÖșÛȘ â Ę IMPORTANT. most chapters will be smau. pictures, characters, etc do not belong to me, full full credits to its owners! again, very slow updates so pls be patient (this might be the only post iâll try scheduling). reblogs are appreciated! most time stamps are completely off so just ignore them. this smau will contains lost of offensive language (nothing too bad), kms/kys jokes, etc so please be aware! some characters might even use tone indicators :)! also, lots of grammatical errors and lots of caps and smashing keyboard (i will try my best to proofread but i wont most of the time). titles, characters, chapters might change (since most isnât that finalized lmao).
⊠â â pookie bears / emo band / 5KY official acc
⊠â â TABLE OF CONTENTS
one. whereâs y/n???
two. want me to set up a blind?
three. big day for annoying people
four. i can trust her
five. hes so annoying
six. tba
⊠â â TAGLIST! (if your user is in bold, it means iâm having trouble tagging you)
@vdnlya @ph4nt4-st1c4l @lylovw @richxelle @raideneiari @lightlyfeatheredquailqin @lucecent @mave-in @xingyunclouds @myaaones @thenightsflower @akagism2 @eunchaeluvr @sakiimeo @kunikuzushiit @l-l-u-x-x @ieathairs @m3gitsune @vanitasbrainrot @ixllyaaa
#⊠not my type#â
eoues works#genshin impact#scaramouche x y/n#scaramouche x you#scaramouche genshin impact#genshin impact x y/n#genshin impact x you#kunikuzushi genshin#kunikuzushi genshin impact#wanderer x reader#genshin wanderer#genshin x you#genshin impact x reader#genshin smau#smau#genshin x gender neutral reader#genshin imagines
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Everyone shut up this is trolls with autism part 2: fav stims/textures
These were getting really long so I may make a part 3 about comfort foods in a separate post
Aradia: obviously, her hair, she loves playing with it, braiding it adding things to it etc, but I bet when she was younger she was a Hair/shirt chewer and idk why but I feel like she'd also just like breaking things. Not smashing, but snapping pasta noodles, brittle bones, or sticks, that sort of thing. She has a chewy necklace, but it's not a tough grade one like Terezi needs. If she doesn't have something MEANT to be chewed, her shirts get holes in them. Also toe walker. Least favorite texture: when your hands have been wet for a really long time and your nails are all dried out
Tavros: he has jewelry that's for stimming, like bracelets with little spinny parts or that you take off and play with, but before that, it was rubber bracelets or hair ties that he'd never even use as intended. He has a fidget spinner and a pop socket too and you could pry them from his cold dead hands. Tavros is also very very good at shuffling cards because he just really likes the noise it makes when they all flutter together. Least favorite texture: course grade sandpaper
Sollux: pen clicking, leg bouncing, he fucks with his piercings even though he knows he's not supposed to. Often he doesn't even realize he's doing it until someone loses their mind at him for it and tells him to stop. Sometimes, if he can, he'll pull up a whole new word document/notepad and just start typing nonsense bc the act of typing on a keyboard or tapping on a screen just feels good. If anyone opened up one of these notepads, they'd just be random descriptions of what's around him or complete gibberish. Also see the link for other Sollux stim headcanons. Least favorite texture: every and all slimes
Karkat: Skin picking, absolutely, especially around his fingers. He copes by painting his nails and picking that off and it's saved his skin forever. But he also loves silicon toys, the little brush ones I mean, and anything meant to be taken apart and put back together, bonus points if it's those ones that make the little pop and click noises when you do so. Karkat also likes pop-its, yeah I said it, someone has to like them. Another link for more karkat (and more Sollux) headcanons Least favorite texture: metal + teeth
Nepeta: she's also a chewer, but she likes very hard things, nothing squishy. It's all bones, wood, plastic that kinda thing, her favorite is straws. She's also a big fan of messy crafts, like finger painting, getting her hands in the mud/shaving cream that kind of thing, she just likes being messy, making a mess but doesn't like cleaning it. Yeah and toe walking. Least favorite texture: tin foil
Kanaya: she doesn't sew AS a stim, but she does sew a really long running stitch, intentionally neglect to tie it off just so she can pull the thread out, insanely soothing to her. Also anything that's meant to be gently tapped against her face, like a makeup sponge or very soft rag is A++ Anything that jingles when she walks (jewelery but also heavily beaded fabrics) are perfect. She also loves running her nails over things, specifically tapping with them. Least favorite texture: burlap
Terezi: we've got another intense chewer. She sits right between aradia and Nepeta. They like hard things, but obviously hard as in crunchy. We knew they eat chalk but also ice, stale bread, that kind of thing, things meant to be eaten and crunchy. She's also the type to just draw all over herself with markers, the wet + cool sensation of markers going over skin is everything. least favorite texture: braille
Vriska: Hair, like moving it around/out of her hair constantly and dice. She plays with them, rolls them when theres no reason to, sometimes chews them but it's pretty rare and the oral fixation is only with dice. Idk what they're called, but the little game with the dice under the plastic dome and you push it and it pops the dice everywhere? Yeah. She also likes ripping/cutting paper a lot and will steal magazines to rip/cut them up. Least favorite texture: cotton balls
Equius: Equius is also a hair stimmer, softly brushing it. I think he *used* to hit himself in stressful situation but because he's so strong, that's obvi not an option anymore (that's why he has the battle bots) but he also just likes breaking things as in destroying them. In humanstuck, I think he regularly visits those places where you're put in a room with a bat just to smash old TV's and shit. Least favorite texture: rusty metal
Gamzee: definitely noise based stimming, his horns, little bells and squeaky toys, but also he loves just...watching wheels spin. Will sit for hours with his unicycle upside down watching the wheel go. Also beaded curtains. I think growing up on the beach, he'd also really like the texture of wet sand, touching it, walking barefoot on it, making imprints of it, that sort of thing. Least favorite texture: bugs with legs
Eridan: Spiny rings spiny rings spiny rings. At least half of his rings spin/click/or make some kind of noise, also just the sound of rings clinking on things is itself a stim. I think he likes those silicon brushes too, but he likes plucking them. Some of his books in his library aren't even meant to be read, he just will sit and turn the pages until he feels better. Idk if this counts a stim but I also think he copes by swimming to the deepest water he can stand and just laying there like a massive weighted blanket. Least favorite texture: wet paper
Feferi: hair, but also she has so many different fabrics in her outfit, they probably all have different textures that she likes touching. Feferi's a fan of squishy stuff, she likes slime, wet foods like puddings and jello. I'm sure they'd have slime that can be submerged in salt water, but above water she loves the very transparent jiggly slime. She also loves fucking with jelly fish and I bet she smacks the bulb on beluga whales for fun. Also assigned toe walker. Least favorite texture: concrete + bare feet
#homestuck#sollux captor#karkat vantas#eridan ampora#headcanons#nepeta leijon#aradia megido#tavros nitram#kanaya maryam#terezi pyrope#vriska serket#equius zahhak#gamzee makara#feferi piexes
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Thanks for the tag! Here's my bingo card for you. I got bingo in like 4 different directions, LMFAO.
And just like you, I'll elaborate on all the boxes I crossed off. Since you said I'm new to you, I'll try and give you as much info as I can on my personal writing experience. I think I'll go row by row for this, starting from the left side.
-When I first started writing, I was on Fanfiction.net. I still have that account and recently updated a fic on there (Accidental Siblings), but I still gotta get back to/clean up some of my other old fics on there.
-Yep, still got an AO3. I cross-posted some of my FFN fics there, but now more than half of the works there are AO3-exclusive.
-I distinctly remember beta-reading for a friend back in the day, but it was so long ago I don't even remember what the fic was called. First and only time I beta-read, though.
-All of my fics are un-beta'd. We die like men.
-The very first fic I ever wrote was basically a self-insert even though I tried to play it off like it wasn't. It was a PokĂ©mon fic that I wrote when I was like 15. But eventually, as time went on, I thought it was too cringey and deleted it off not only FFN but my hard drive, too. I couldn't even show the fic to you if I wanted to. It's gone for good đ. There was also another fic of mine that I wrote soon after deleting my first one, which is a KNB episodic style one-shot collection that is nothing but self-indulgent. I still need to clean that one up, though, so I won't share it just yet.
-Keyboard smashing is what I do. More so on Twitter, but if I see something that really just causes me to go crazy then imma show it. If it's a fic that I really like, I'll also write a big ass essay in the comments about all the things I like about it.
-Oh yeah, there have been multiple occasions where I wanted to leave kudos, but I apparently already had. Some works are just that good.
-Not only is Fluff most of what I read, but it's most of what I write as well. Fluff is a BIG part of my works because I don't do well seeing people suffer. Especially since a lot of my early works were Akashi-centric. I was tired of seeing this boy be miserable, so I was like, "Why can't we just have a story where he's not miserable for once?" and so I wrote it. I enjoy the warm feelings I get inside when someone gets the love and affection they deserve, whether that's platonic, romantic, or otherwise. This is also why I'm a sucker for Hurt/Comfort fics, too.
-The M/M I wrote was more of an unfinished premise, but I just wanted to try writing romance for once since I never do. But idk if I'll ever expand on what I wrote because I have no thoughts about where I would take that plot, and I'm also busy with other stories.
-I do believe fanfiction is a legitimate genre and is an integral pillar of literature. It deserves its flowers.
-As stated in my bingo card, I write mainly for KNB and BTS. My BTS stuff is more popular, though, for reasons I'm sure are obvious to you.
-The amount of research that goes into some fics of mine is actually kind of insane. Some of it involves Google searches that I hope the FBI isn't looking at, and the other part is watching things related to the topic at hand. Like for Accidental Siblings, my research on the behaviors of children for that fic led me to watch a British ongoing docuseries called 'The Secret Life of 4, 5, and 6-year-olds' just to see the kinds of things kids that age did and talked about. It's a genuinely good program, too. I'd recommend it.
-I ALWAYS keep an outline for writing. I actually have notebooks for all the fics I write. It's usually one fic to one notebook, unless it's one-shots. Then I do multiple one-shots to one notebook. Whenever I have chapter outlines to write or miscellaneous world-building I want to make note of, I just write it down. And then, when the time comes to write a chapter, I look back at my notes. Usually, my outlines are just chronological bullet points of events I want to happen in the chapter. Sometimes, I may write down specific dialogue I want to use or specific details I want to make mention of. And then when I get to writing the chapters, it's simply going by the outline and then filling in the blanks with my imagination.
-I don't "anxiously" wait for feedback these days, but back then, I was FEENING for attention. Comments on my work would make me so happy. They still do! But since I update very sporadically, I understand that I may not get feedback as often as I used to. And that's fine! When it comes to fics, I'm fairly intrinsically motivated. So even if I get no feedback, I won't stop putting my work out there.
-Back when I was updating for Accidental Siblings more frequently, @clubakashi, whose fanart inspired me to make the pic, ended up drawing Akashi and baby Bokushi and then posting it! There were also people submitting to them too talking about their own headcanons for the fic, which was cool to see.
-I have several unpublished stories and even more unfinished ones. I think I have 6 fics that are still ongoing. The rest are one-shots. But I have a few unfinished new fic ideas in my USB that have yet to be released to the public.
-I'm a perfectionist by nature, so editing and formatting is always a grueling experience because I care too much about little details that nobody will even notice/care about.
-I always get ideas in the middle of the night. Especially because I sometimes like to role-play scenarios in my head to see if they'd work in my fics. I may even go as far as physically acting something out or saying a line of dialogue to see if it would fit.
-My ongoing fics are the ones that receive the most attention, but my one-shots are what I hope would get more attention because I still worked hard to write them. Both for BTS and KNB.
But yeah, I think I elaborated on all of my points. I hope you were able to get to know me better through this bingo sheet! Thanks again for the tag! đ
I felt implicitly tagged by @lilypheria. Here's the template too.
It may seem like I only write KnB these days but I don't consider myself to be done with my SPOP comics yet.
Tagging all my writer friends but I'm going to mention @active-mind-15 because you're kind of new to me. But I really want to hear about all my writer mutuals and followers. By the way if you've written one unfinished fic or tried to start to write your ideas but can't, or haven't written for years, or have any other struggle that makes you feel invalid, you count as a writer.
Going to elaborate under the cut because I felt like it.
My old account was FinFanFun, a Finnish site I used mostly for reading Facebook wall fics about that which should not be named.
AO3 is where I publish my KnB fics though I've considered branching out to see if there's still some fandom corners I haven't reached.
I'm slowly introducing myself to writing smut but the only story I've published has been called mild and soft smut or smut-ish, and I doubt the rest will be much different.
I frequently beta-read for friends, though fanfiction is the minority.
I used to have two beta-readers but they're unable to do it anymore so all my fics rely solely on me for now, which makes me really anxious sometimes. I am pretty desperate for a new beta-reader so if KagaKuro and a million words of "homework" doesn't frighten you, please jump into an adventure with me!
All my fics are self-indulgent in that they're what I want to see play out in the story. They are not personal fantasies, or necessarily what I want to see in real life, but it's what I envision for these characters.
I'm always reading old favourite fics again and I need to branch out actually.
If I'm in need of a short fic to read I will probably pick fluff.
Have written m/m and f/f (and m/? and m/f) but honestly it's weird to put them in the same category when m/m is so overrepresented.
I'm not actually sure if I consider fanfiction as a genre or rather a medium, because all genres exist inside fanfiction. Medium is probably more true but I seem to have checked it anyway because I feel like the point here is whether fanfiction is valid literature and that it is.
I don't know if two fandoms with one being dormant would be considered multifandom so maybe no.
I do anxiously wait for feedback since I'm very community oriented but I'm also very introverted and internally motivated so the lack of it doesn't discourage me. I have patience and I can wait for connection for years and years. Not that lack of connection doesn't affect me, of course it does, but giving up is just a very antithetical concept to my beliefs and life.
I have one on-going long KnB story and one unfinished She-Ra fic that is waiting for a better time. Which is an exception since I tend to finish what I start before moving on.
Editing fanfiction is actually not as bad as editing original fiction because I put much less pressure on myself, partially because you can always edit your fic again.
Always listening to hours long conversations in my head between characters when I'm trying to sleep. They're really bad at shutting up and I'm supposed to remember this stuff in the morning?
I was mildly drunk for ten days straight to write Anything Can Happen. Haven't done that since but it was really fun.
My main KnB storyline gets most of my attention. It's just my thing, I pour everything into it.
I didn't check 'wants to be a professional writer' because after three traditionally published books I consider myself to be that already. I actually went the other way around than seems to be the norm: I was an original fiction writer first and then branched out to fanfiction in my twenties. I can see it greatly affects how I write fic, and it's probably the main reason I feel like a bit of an outsider.
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tokrev boys with an s/o that likes to dress up
ft. takemichi, chifuyu, mikey, mitsuya, kokonoi
navi | tokrev m.list
content â gn!reader, koko gives v much sugar daddy/power couple vibes
notes â prompt from this post by @hoefordaddytoji ! IDK IF ITS A TUMBLR GLITCJ ON MY PHONE BUT WHY WERE THE BULLETPOINTS SO UGLY,,, anyway so i changed my hc format bc of that <\3 atp papayag na q maging kabet ni takemitchi sorry hina chz clout chasing lang loyal aq kay shinichiro mahal ko
-> TAKEMICHI is so embarrassed to be around you in public. Not because of youâno, never because of youâbut because youâre always clean, creative, and styled to perfection while his outfits rank subpar on a good day. He knows you know it too. Youâre just too polite to ever mention it, which heâs grateful for because it would for sure rip out a good chunk of what pride he has left.
Heâll spend hours upon hours just staring at his closet of poorly folded tees that basically have the same design and different colors of the same pair of shorts only to still not be ready to go by the time you arrive. When he asks you for your opinion, to help him out so he can match your level, you do the best you can to mix up an outfit specifically for him and maybe even take hum out shopping if it would make him feel better. (It would, and heâd happily carry all the shopping bags.)
You told him youâd find the perfect combo that encapsulates the âTakemitchi charm,â and it warms his heart seeing you rummaging through his things in such a focused manner because thereâs nothing youâre more passionate about than fashion and lending a helping hand.
-> CHIFUYU is your personal hypeman and number one supporter! He is genuinely so in awe of the outfits you manage to put together because they each seem to be entirely unique from one another while at the same time highlighting your best features. Strike a few poses in front of him and youâll notice the sparkles in his eyes.
Send a single picture of your outfit of the day, and not a minute later, heâs already spamming your phone with messages. Praising comments, various reaction pics with exaggerated heart eyes, emoji spams, and keyboard smashesâChifuyu does it all, and he genuinely means them. If you send more than one picture without context, he already knows you canât decide which one is better to post, and he suddenly feels an overwhelming sense of duty over his newfound responsibility. Of course, you look great in everything so it puts a bit of stress onto him, but heâll puff out his chest and examine each photo carefully and pick out which one is best.
Ask him to take your photos! (Heâs itching to take hundreds.) Heâll stretch and squat just to get the perfect angle, and heâll act like a real professional photographer, tipping you on how to work your shoulders and praising you for every pose. Expect him to snap lots of pictures of you when youâre not looking though.
-> MIKEY doesnât care what you wear as long as youâre happy, but he knows that not everyone has a kind attitude towards style enthusiasts, which especially applies to bitter elderly folk. He has told you to âDress however you like. I can fight.â before and will say it again on the occasion that you become discouraged due to spiteful looks or comments from others. In public, itâs like youâre this big-shot celebrity and heâs like your civilian boyfriend (and low-key bodyguard).
His most functional love language is protecting his loved ones, and that includes your mental and emotional state. Usually, an empty stare from him does the trick of scaring the judgy eyes away, but some people are persistent. If it ever goes past the staring, you can bet Mikey will be up and out of his chair in a heartbeat, menacingly asking the perpetrator/s âIs there a problem here?â
But apart from that, it really gets to him when he sees you so proud of yourself, so happy and cheerful. Heâll let you drag him around from store to store when you go shopping together, but ultimately, heâd prefer walking behind you so he can watch over you entirely. And when he does this, he gets to see you purely in your element. He doesnât ever realize it, but the way his expression softens and his smile is one of content is something everyone can see.
-> MITSUYA is the one you go to for a second opinion. He knows color theory, of course heâd know a fit that does or doesnât work. If you ask him, heâll give you a detailed response too. Constructive criticism is the way to go, and he always has his own suggestions to achieve the style you want if youâre having difficulty. But he wonât say anything unless you ask him to because if it works for you, then it works!
Got a problem with one of your pants? Mitsuyaâll take care of it. Heâd volunteer to tailor your clothes and fix them the exact way you want it. Why would you need to pay to tailor your clothes when you can have him do it in exchange for kisses instead? You can trust him. Heâll only make the best fixes for you. Maybe in a future where he grows up to be a fashion designer, you can work in tandem with him. Heâs already blushing at the thought of a future with you.
One thing he loves about your enthusiasm for clothes, other than the fact that you work so well together, is that Mana and Luna are just as eager to see you. They always get so excited about the different colors of your pants and the intricate designs on your blouses. They light up so fast whenever they know youâre gonna spend some time with them, and Mitsuya canât love you enough for it.
-> KOKONOI likes to sit back and watch the show. We know the guy is loaded, and what better to spend all his hard-earned cash than on you? He loves how youâre always up for a shopping spree, for he earns to spend. He likes giving you bundles of cash or his black card because he likes that itâs being put to use, and his pride only grows because itâs you and you know that he knows heâs never going to have trouble with money.
Itâs sort of like a victory show for him when he has you model the new items in your collection from your most recent shopping trip funded by him. Heâll be sitting back on the sofa with a leg crossed over the other, eyes watching you above the rim of his glass as you give him a 360 of your outfit. He doesnât bother hiding the fact that heâs checking you out. Why should he? You look amazing, and you should know that. (But only from him. If he catches another pair of eyes on you, itâs on sight.)
Heâll dress up to match, too. Who doesnât love a coordinated couple? Once, Koko caught a Tiktok user, who films strangersâ everyday streetwear, with a camera pointed directly at you both. He smirked before staring directly at the camera, moving an arm on your waist to pull you close, almost possessively. He leaned down to whisper into your ear, letting you know youâre being filmed, only for the cameraman to be greeted with both of your fierce gazes as you walked by.
all rights reserved © smolla-than-a-bug, 2021. please do not copy or repost my works. reblogs & feedback are appreciated!
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First, i love your blog! Second, this fandom really loves angst huh! I wanted to request something along the lines of R x lena, where reader finds out/thinks kara has feelings for Lena, and that Lena will leave her once she finds out. BUT, lena doesnt, she stays and chooses R (which I feel like never happens in this angsty requests haha) thanks!!
Only You
Summary: Y/N has some insecurities after finding out that Kara likes her girlfriend, Lena. Lena is there to reassure her.
Authors Note: Thank you and thanks for requesting!
Request to be on a Taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)
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PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of works are either requests Iâve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas Iâve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything Iâve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.
header c @/benoiststuff
Y/N had been involved in the DEO after since she was little, with her father being an agent there, and throughout all her years, nothing and no one was able to throw her off course.
Until Lena came along.
As soon as she saw the tall, dark brunette with thick red lipstick, enter the room and instantly take charge, for the first time in her career, Y/N was severely distracted. Despite the paperwork she was filling out and how determined she had been to finish, Y/N found herself unable to keep her eyes locked on her computer, and instead her gaze trailed after the dashing woman.
Every time Lena neared her desk, Y/N found herself frozen in her seat, the thoughts vanishing from her head and being replaced by fluffy clouds of nothing-ness, only able to concentrate on Lenaâs lovely perfume.Â
It seemed that she wasnât doing a very good job of hiding her newfound crush (not that she was actively trying to hide it), because when the DEO had Lena assemble a team of agents to help her with her research, Alex had eagerly suggested Y/N to be one of the agents in that group.Â
The moment she heard her name her palms slapped down on the keyboard in surprise and her head popped up, eyes frantic to adjust to whatever she was now being involved with. âHuh?â Was her âelegantâ response.Â
Alex did not bother to conceal her smirk. âY/N, youâre going to be apart of Lenaâs team,â she said, and when Lena gracefully turned to her, lips curling into a big smile, Y/N felt butterflies swarm her stomach, bouncing around inside.Â
The rest was history: by the end of the week, Lena had asked Y/N out on a date, and by the end of the month, they were dating. Y/N had Alex to thank for their relationship and it only strengthened her already close friendship with Alex and, by extension Alexâs younger sister, Kara - also known as Supergirl.Â
When Lena and Y/N had gotten more serious, Kara revealed that she was Supergirl, and the couple began going to Karaâs superfriends game nights.Â
Their relationship was blooming and Y/N had never been at a happier time in her life. A wonderful, committed girlfriend, a steady job she loved, and amazing and supportive friends. Everything was going great, so when Y/N started to notice Kara hanging out with Lena more and more often, she was in a blissfully ignorant state and did not notice what was actually happening.Â
Well, she didnât notice at first, but when she was going to drop off some papers with Alex who had been training with Kara at the moment, she overheard the sistersâ conversation just before she walked into the room.Â
âAlex, I just donât know what to do.â
âYou donât do anything, Kara . . . I mean, Lena is in love with Y/N.âÂ
âI know, I know, itâs just so hard seeing them together! Honestly, I think I may be in love with Lena . . .âÂ
Y/N stopped listening at that point, and instead turning around on her heels, dropping the paperwork on Alexâs desk before sinking into her own seat. She absentmindedly checked her email, not focusing as a gloomy cloud settled in her stomach, almost causing nausea.
As she begin to recall the past couple weeks, Y/N internally facepalmed. It had been so obvious! With how Kara constantly stood next to Lena, found excuses to touch her arm or her hand, laughed at everything she said, and constantly complimented her.
How had she not noticed? And more importantly â how did Lena not notice?!
Shit, did Lena notice?
No, that was silly . . .
But she had to - it was clear as day!
Did she . . . Why didnât she stop it?
Did she enjoy it?
Did she feel the same way?
Shit, shit, shit!
A feeling of dread overcame and smashed her previous happiness like a large and powerful wave crashing onto a beach. Y/N forced herself to take deep breaths as her mind went into a frenzy, trying and failing to come up with some other reasonable explanation for this.
But she couldnât convince herself of any other one, so for the next couple days, her behavior had changed drastically. Y/N kept to herself, only spoke when someone was directly speaking to her, and had done her best to avoid Kara and Lena â which was difficult since she lived with Lena.
When the girlfriends were spending their weekend night at their home, Lena finally had a change to confront Y/N.
âY/N, can I ask you something?â
Y/Nâs eyes were trained on the television screen which was showing a movie they had both seen a thousand times. She made no indication of having heard her girlfriend.
âY/N.â
It took a few moments, but finally her eyes slowly moved away from the team, yet it didnât meet Lenaâs eyes. âSure,â she murmured.
âThereâs something wrong, Y/N, I can tell. Can you tell me what it is?â
The next seconds were agonizingly slow.
âN-nothing is wrong.â
âY/N, please, I just want to help,â Lena persisted.
Another agonizing couple of seconds.
âPlease donât leave me for her.â
A loud sob left Y/Nâs parted lips as she curled forward, wrapping her arms around herself, dipping her head and trembling.
Lena had not expected this and sat up, drawing her eyebrows together. âWhat? For who?â She demanded, and bit her lip as she hadnât intended to be so, well, demanding.
âK-Kara. She likes you. And sheâs been showing it for weeks and you havenât stopped her. I-I canât compete with Supergirl,â Y/N sniffled.
Lena blinked, processing this. After a couple moments, the only sound filling the air being the dull T.V and Y/Nâs sniffs, Lena moved closer to her girlfriend.
âNo, Y/N, Kara cannot compete with you,â Lena corrected softly.
Y/N slowly picked her head up, and when she turned her head to face her girlfriend, the brunette saw how puffy and red her eyes were.
Lena continued. âIâm so sorry, Y/N, I didnât notice that she liked me at all - I swear. And I donât return her feelings. I only love you.â
Y/Nâs trembles stopped. âReally?â She asked, and when Lena nodded she happily gasped and then added, âOh, Len, Iâm sorry for thinking that you would like her â I just love you so much and I donât want to lose you.â
Lena shook her head. âDonât apologize. You have nothing to apologize for,â she said, before thinking and then leaning forward, locking Y/Nâs lips with a kiss, which she gladly returned.
The couple continued on their night, snuggling and trying a movie that none of them had watched before. They fell asleep on the couch, Lenaâs arms wrapped around Y/N.
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DCEU Taglist: @stephanieromanoff @basiclesbianbitch @hi-i-1 @mmmmokdok @acertainredhead
#lena luthor x reader#lena luthor x you#lena luthor imagine#lena luthor#lena luthor x y/n#supergirl x reader#supergirl x you#supergirl imagine#supergirl reader insert#supergirl fic#supergirl fanfic#supergirl ficlet#cw supergirl#supergirl#supergirl x y/n#dceu x reader#dceu fic#dceu fanfiction#dceu imagine#dceu#dc x reader#dc x you#dc imagine#dc fanfic#dc fic#dc tv universe#dc tv show#dc tv series#dc x y/n
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Day 2: AU get me out of here - places to go when canon is complicated
Itâs Day 2 for @roswellnewmexicocreate, time to celebrate those stories that I turn to when I canât deal with canon, or when I donât have the emotional energy to untangle all the emotions I have for whatâs going on in canon. Alternative universes, the safe harbor for us. Below are a mix of rewrites of canon, remixes of canon, or out right not even set in Roswell- to fill every type distance you want from canon- from near to far.
and the howl of the desert carries me home by @christchexâ/ @michaels-blackhatâ (4,334) Alex runs into the desert to escape from his father with his guitar clutched to his chest. He plans to spend one last night playing before his father destroys it. Instead, he meets a cute boy with flowers in his curly hair and a lizard on his shoulder. He exchanges a song for a smile.
why i like it: I love everything about this story. Michael is totally a disney princess, and what a lovely way to save him from foster homes, but have him run away to the desert and use his alien powers to build his own little protective world. Looping in Noraâs plant powers like that, giving Michael a little animal friend, I love it all, but the show stealer is Alex Manes, playing music to coax the mystery boy out. Itâs just incredibly soft.
***
Heartbeat series by @adiwriting â (133,000 - in progress) During the lost decade, Alex gets Michael pregnant and Michael doesn't see or hear from him again for the next four and a half years. When Alex comes back to town, he discovers he has a daughter with Michael and they all have to figure out how to be a family.
why i like it: it has it all, installments with angst, installments with fluff, I can find whatever mood I am in by just pouring over this incredible series. I really donât even like mpreg, but in RNM, with aliens it seems a little more probable to me and bless Britt, she goes light on the details but heavy on the kid aspect of it. I absolutely love Alex in this story, heâs richly characterized as a man who is trying hard while wandering unfamiliar territory like aliens, like being a dad, like being Michaelâs boyfriend, and he doesnât always get it right, but heâs loved regardless.
***
tonight we are young @skinsharpenedteeth (8,137) Alex and Michael ditch the Evans' New Years Eve party to find their own fun and Alex gets his New Years kiss...(the underage tag is because they're both 17 in this.)
why i like it: Iâm a sucker for teen!Malex, especially stories that take place before the shed. I love this little AU where Alex is thinking about making a move, but hasnât yet. They are both adorable nervous babies, this feels very much how a softer teen!Malex first time would go. Perfectly characterized here, you can just feel the hopeful vibes they have at 17. I like to believe nothing bad ever happens to them again.
***
you shift on a gear (itâs been a long year) by @backinmybodymp3 (28, 362) âGood morning,â Michael says. âWhat the hell did you do?â Alex asks, exasperated. (or: There were times, in some of the lower moments of the past however-many-days itâs been, where Michael had thought about what it mightâve been like to share this time loop with someone. He never imaginedâ well, he never imagined itâd be Alex.)
why i like it: I love time-loop stories! And this is just superb. The friendship dynamics of everyone involved, the Liz/Max wedding, Michael being a good brother, Michael trying so hard to keep this bullshit from dragging Alex in and then Alex being his usual reckless self when it comes to Michael, I absolutely dig this canon-divergent au. you can feel how much the author cares about everyone on the show in this story, and they really nail the Malex dynamic. This story came along just as season 3 did and itâs a true antidote to the malex drought on screen.
***
the library by @arielana (9,657) Â Alex had stopped too far away to hear exactly what they were saying, but their voices did carry over to where he was standing. The guyâs drawl had a melody to it that was vaguely familiar, but much deeper than the voice it reminded Alex of. God, that and the hair really brought some memories back. Â Just as Alex told himself to stop secretly staring like a creep and walk over there, he turned slightly so that Alex got a glimpse of the side of his face. Â Fuck! Â Fuck, fuck, fuck! Twelve years ago Alex left Roswell to join the Air Force, nursing a broken heart and promising to never return. When work brings him back to New Mexico he runs into someone heâd been sure heâd never see again.
why i like it: the first kiss in the UFO emporium was groundbreaking, but I have to admit, I love stories that explore the almost-happened, where Malex reconnect as adults without the shadow of Jesseâs attack. I love how sharp Alex is in this story, he has all these walls as an adult built from that first rejection, but then heâs so completely unprepared to reconnect with Michael again. The clownery in this story by both of them is perfect! I also totally love Forrest as a gay best friend for Alex, trying to wingman Alex, that cracked me up.
***
stellar light based life by @jocarthage (30,651) Itâs not a memory if itâs something you see every day. Itâs a trigger and itâs not one Alex wants to ever let go of.Alex saw Michael disappear into a blinding blue light, soft 17-year-old body pulled back into some kind of impossible vortex -- one hand, outstretched.
why i like it: another submission from 2020 RNM Big Bang, this story just wrecked me. I canât even really put into words about how it hooked me and basically lives in my head now to the point I often mumble the first line to myself. Anyway, this AU takes a right turn at the shed attack, and goes full force scifi and tragic separation, I love it. In so many ways it reshapes Alexâs life but the core of who he is never changes, thereâs so many great science geekery details about Michaelâs planet and the astronaut journey that Alex takes, plus SANDERS... anyway, this is a fandom classic for me.
***
Crossed Wires by @beautifulcheat, @ladynox (15,351) Michael's been kicked off more than one Starfleet posting. So when he learned he was reassigned to the USS Roswell, he decided that he would keep his head down and behave. This decision is immediately thwarted when he meets her hot Vulcan captain.This might be the first time Michael got kicked off a posting for flirting with a captain.
why i like it: Star Trek AU? Iâm pretty easy. Seeing elements of Kirk and Spockâs tragic backstory blended into genius mechanic Michael Guerin and ice prince Alex Manes was amazing. I love how itâs serving with his family that brings Michael to the Enterprise, his bond with Max and Isobel was chefâs kiss good. The blend of Michaelâs powers and Alexâs biology - I loved the balance even if it came with its own misunderstandings, but hey, this time it was cultural! lol
***
Iâm still here by @vague-shadows @pippsmcgee (35,928) Treasure Planet AU in which Michael is the gifted young delinquent who found a treasure map, and Alex is a space pirate pawn in his Father's obsession with riches and legacy.
why i like it: Iâve never seen Treasure Planet, but I didnât need to thoroughly enjoy this AU. This was the perfect mix of angst and sci-fi adventure, where the authors managed to make the shed even more horrifying. Jesse Manes is the absolute worst in this story, the levels of obsession he goes to find a treasure, and then Michael on his own collision course - the ability to write tense action is a gift, and itâs on display in this story. Cyborg!Alex took up a place in my heart and still lives there, where he only gets the nicest things.
If you like any of these recs, please leave a comment on the story or a kudo- a âthis was awesomeâ is enough to propel an author into the stratosphere with happiness, so donât worry about coming up with a unique, never before shared insight- sometimes a keyboard smash and emoji makes all the difference!
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sweetness
osamu xf!baker!reader sum: your unrequited crush on the man you sell to is weighing heavily on you until one little party later it isnât an issue cw: 18+ minors dni, a lil fluff, a lil angst (reader is sad bc they don't think samu feels the same), mentions of drinking/alcohol/party (no one is drunk during), kinda confessions, first time with each other, nipple play, oral (receiving) wc: 3.5k a/n: hi !! uhh i have had this is drafts for months bc i struggled to post it and idk why,, it's def a little longer than usual and little more plot-heavy(ish) but i hope you all enjoy pussy king samu <3
It felt as though you were admiring him from a distance even when he was standing right beside you.
The afternoon that the owner of Onigiri Miya had called up your small bakery to partner with his business you had been overjoyed. Honestly, you were still happy, it was just tinged by something deeper or different now. You were certainly still happy to sell your goods through the business, but your feelings had really gotten the better of you.
The day, actually the moment you met Osamu you told yourself to get over the petty crush you had developed within minutes of meeting him. His big, tall frame made you feel as though he could wrap his arms around you and everything would be okay. His pretty, steely eyes and soft features relaxed you, made you feel at home.
A week later you were groaning into your pillow when he texted a simple, polite compliment about your baked goods. Desperately, you hoped that the fuzzy feeling would melt away any day now.
Every single time you had to see him again and again to drop off your bi-weekly delivery, the feelings didnât fade. If anything they grew stronger. The quick, comfortable banter you shared made your chest fill with molten gold that always seemed to harden into a tough little peach pit, strangling the words from your throat whenever you got back into your car.
A month later you were crying to yourself at 2 AM about how you couldnât get over him even though you hadnât even been close to a relationship. It was impossible. How were you supposed to get closure from someone you were merely business partners with.
You cursed the way your heart sped up when you got a new text from him. Over and over again you had to remind yourself that it was purely business.
Onigiri Miya (Osamu): Hi, do you want to swing by tomorrow? Lunch is on me
Fingers swiped over the keyboard, groaning as you asked what you should bring for the restock, not realizing it had been two weeks already.
Onigiri Miya (Osamu): Everything is selling fast, but I wonât need anything for a bit, just wanted to chat not about business
Without hesitation you agreed. Even if you were sure he didnât feel the same, it wouldnât hurt to keep up a personal relationship with a business. The fact that he had texted you deep into the night without prompt didnât make it into your busy mind.
Those two little texts were how you found yourself taking a deep breath outside the Onigiri Miya a little after the lunch rush. You stepped into the nearly empty building, immediately greeted by Osamuâs soft, low voice.
âI have to run to the back, but I put a plate for you out.â He calls, disappearing just as the door closes behind you.
Itâs painful to admit how your heart swells at the gesture. Your favorite onigiri of his is neatly plated in front of a corner seat at the bar. The two other people on the opposite side of the store are quietly chatting, paying no mind while you settle into your seat. Before you can take a bite heâs bustling back in.
âSorry âbout that, got a call.â He says, leaning over the counter in front of you. The way his broad chest is squished by his shoulders.
âNo worries.â You say just before biting into the food. He snatches one of the rice balls from your plate, but your mouth is too full and youâre too grateful to protest. âSo,â you begin after you swallow, âwhat did you want to talk about?â
You canât tell whether the air is thick with awkward tension or if itâs just you.
âI mean, obviously not business.â As you speak, a strangled, little chuckled forces its way out of the back of your throat, but you take another bite of food before it gets out of hand.
Heâs silent for a moment, slowly chewing his food. Maybe savoring it or maybe thinking, you canât quite tell which.
âCan you take nights off from the bakery? I remember you saying ya do a lot of baking and prepping at night.â His expression is impossible to read and you want to tell him that this is, at least for you, business talk, but you hold back and simply answer the question.
âWell, yeah, if I needed to. Uh, why?â You catch how his shoulders tense and lower, his eyes shifting across the windows in the front. Unfortunately, his own anxiety does very little to quell any of your own.
âMy brother is having a party and Iâm⊠obligated to go, but I wonât know many people there, theyâll all be his teammates, so I was wondering if you would like to go with me? If you donât have a⊠I mean, if you donât have any plans.â His expression remains still, but thereâs a small flush in his cheeks that you catch on immediately. Something in your heart softens with hope.
âYouâre twin volleyball brother?â You ask, biting back a smile. âAlso, youâll have to tell me what time the party is and then Iâll let you know if I have plans, but Iâm probably free.â
The flush deepens as he recognizes his mistake and slowly blinks, shaking his head. âYes, âTsumu, the volleyball brother. And the party is next Friday. Around nine.â
Within the limited time youâd spent with him heâd told you about his brother and his old friends. Confidence growing, but not quite steady, you uneasily treaded into your next words.
âYeah, Iâm not working next Friday actually, so that sounds good. Should I text you for the address orâŠ?â
âMeet me here, I can take you. Best to take the train, but itâll be easier if we go together.â
Deep in the center of the city, standing close enough to smell the soft fragrance of cologne, you still werenât sure how easily you had ended up here at the house party filled with strangers hosted by your customerâs pro athlete brother. It was a little much to think about if you took too much pause. Before you could slip into your own brain too much your cheek smushed into the thick muscle of Osamuâs solid back that had suddenly stopped moving, and as you sputtered out an apology the door swung open without him even knocking.
âHey! Did you really not a-â The blonde mirror image of the man standing directly in front of you eats whatever words are about to spill out of his mouth when he notices you peeking out from beside Osamu. Realizing how ridiculously childish you must look tucked away behind him, you clear your throat and step out so youâre by his side instead.
âHi, Iâm y/n.â You say politely, extending a hand for him to shake. Atsumuâs eyes flit between you and his brother, not bothering to hide a smirk.
âOh, I know.â He finally says when he takes your hand. Out of sheer embarrassment or maybe anxiety, you feel pricks of heat chase out to your fingertips. The sensation is only compounded by Osamuâs feather-light touch that grazes the small of your back as he tries to lead you past his brother.
âReally,â you start, with a sly little smile, âheâs told me about youâre very impressive-â
âOkay.â Osamu says a little too sharply. Heâs glad youâre at ease, but less glad that youâve immediately taken to lightly teasing him with his brother. âLetâs head in.â The warm breath of his whisper jolts through you and you find yourself nodding, letting his touch lead you.
Just as the door is closing behind you and the excruciating reverb of the music seeps into your ears, you barely catch what Atsumu mumbles before he slips into the crowd of people. âMaybe youâll finally show her how much ya like her.â
Osamu doesnât respond, and for a second you think maybe he didnât hear him, but the way his fingers dig into your back tells you otherwise. You simply pretend that you heard nothing, pointing to the drink dispensers lined up on the kitchen counter across the room. After a quick drink of the sweet, burning mystery drink and after Atsumu started to keep his distance - too busy hounding his one teammate with the dark curls whose name you couldnât quite remember - things went smoothly.
Time passed quickly, helped on by the dozens of new people you were introduced to. The small talk and repetitive questions had you mentally winded, but Osamuâs constant touch whether on your elbow or back or shoulder grounded you. Instead of feeling your heart race as it usually did when he was near, you only felt calm.
It all came crashing down sometime deep into the night when most of the guests had headed home and those left over passed out, scattered everywhere about the house. Well, everywhere aside from the neat guest bedroom tucked away toward the back that Osamu had pulled you back to when the last man (who had drunkenly tried teaching you how to say âvolleyballâ in Portuguese) had finally passed out.
The single drink you had gulped down hours ago was long gone from your system, but even without it you still found it easy to speak with him, even as his arms inconspicuously wrapped around your torso and brought you down to lie beside him on the bed. Staring up at the ceiling for a moment while the two of you remained in short silence, a thought came to your head, another thing you want to tell him or ask him. Youâre not sure which because in the next moment, when you whip your head to face him, he does the same.
If you had been any closer your faces wouldâve smashed together. Any farther away and you wouldnât be brushing lips. Just as soon as the touch begins, it ends with you scrambling away, stopped from falling off the bed by his strong arm wrapping around and pulling you back to his chest. The silence thickens with every second that neither of you speak, but he thankfully breaks it within the minute.
The words fumble around the front of your mouth like your mouth is numb. âIâm so sorry that-!â
âWell, that wasnât really a proper kiss.â He says plainly, a smile barely etching its way onto the corner of his lips.
âN-no, it was not.â You whisper. It doesnât quite feel real when he kisses you for real, and for a second youâre worried youâve deluded yourself. You sigh into his firm touch, finally releasing the tension in your chest and letting your own lightly trembling hands trace up the space between your chests to settle against his. His body is softer than you had thought it would feel, somehow so much more comforting and homey than you could have imagined.
After an endless moment, his mouth strains against yours as he forces himself to pull away with a little huff. Your eyes find his, bright and hopeful, and still a little bit surprised. Between all your personal longing and resignation that he didnât feel the same, you hadnât noticed the way he smiled more when you were nearby, the little blush that dusted his cheeks when you complimented his cooking that first time, and so much more.
âWanted to do that for a long time.â He sighs, leaning his forehead against yours and letting his heavy eyes close. Hiding your grin in his chest, you nod, wrapping your arms around him and snuggling in closer. When your knee glides against his thigh in an attempt to get more comfortable and flush to him, he clears his throat. âWe should get changed if weâre going to sleep here. I have extra clothes in the dresser.â
âOkay.â You nod slightly, not wanting to move just yet. He seems to be with you because, despite his own words, he remains exactly in place with his grip just as tight as ever around your waist. â...Samu?â You finally ask, pulling back far enough to look up at him.
âI wanna kiss you again.â
âOkay,â you repeat, âthen kiss me again.â The crooked, giddy smile youâre giving him seems to tense him up even more.
He inhales deeply through his nose, eyes darkening as they flicker across the planes of your face. âI wanna, but I donât want to push this unless you feel the same.â
If your tired heart could vibrate any harder it would probably be bursting out of your chest.
âWell, I feel that we should kiss again,â you press a peck to his cheek hoping itâll steady your next vulnerable words, âbecause Iâve thought about you a lot, and I really like this.â You emphasize your words by glancing down at the negative space between your bodies and running your hand up the built expanse of his shoulders.
Humming, he cradles the back of your head, gracefully moving to straddle you and ghost his lips over yours. âIn that case, tell me when to stop.â The hot breathy fan of air from his whisper barely hits your cheeks before heâs pressing a deep kiss against your lips.
You slot together like perfect puzzle pieces, limbs finding the just the right spots to fit into. Mouths move desperately, passionately and without thinking your fingers start dancing under the hem of his shirt, brushing against the hot skin beneath. With a tempered groan, he uncouples his lips from yours, kissing along your jaw and quickly moving to trace down your neck. The kitten nips and licks against your collarbone send electricity through your bones, forcing you to flex into him, hips awkwardly jutting forward for something more.
âYou⊠you, ah, are so perfect.â You pant, eyes blinking wide open when the calloused tips of his fingers roughly trail under your shirt, up your sides, stopping just short of your chest to flip your shirt up.
Groaning so quietly you barely hear him, he buries himself between your breasts and sighs against your skin. âYer even more beautiful up close and without all this,â he pauses for the briefest moment to undo your bra and lift it over your head with the shirt, âextra stuff on.â
Scoffing out a short giggle, you relax back, watching how his eyes drink you in as though theyâve been starved. âBy extra stuff you mea-!â The quip is promptly cut off by the feeling of his mouth latching around one breast, the other being tended to by his opposite hand. Not a moment later he pulls away, smiling as you let out a pitchy whine.
âYer pretty mouthy when yer comfortable, huh?â He mumbles, lips ghosting over your nipple while the one in his hand continues to be teased.
âN-no,â you rush to disagree. Judging by the eye roll he gives you, he doesnât seem to believe you, but he doesnât say anything more, simply bringing his attention back to your chest.
The way his suckles tiny, bright purple marks into your skin sends heat pooling into your stomach, hips noticeably grinding up against him now. As the seconds drag on, he doesnât seem interested in anything other than your tits, enamored with the way they feel in his hand and mouth. Itâs almost too much, and you feel your stomach tightening with every moment the teasing continues.
âSamu,â you whine softly, âsamu, please, canât sâtoo much, really needâŠâ The words are jumbled and garbled. You canât quite sort your brain to come up with anything coherent, distracted by the wet pooling in your underwear and the weight of his body crowding over yours.
âSensitive tits?â He coos with a sharp glint in his eyes, gears obviously moving in his head for the future. âThatâs okay,â he continues while pressing a soft kiss to each of your breasts, âWhat do you really need?â
âNeed you to touch me.â
For a second, his mouth opens but he doesnât speak. You fear heâs going to tease you, make you explain in lewd detail how bad you need him and where you want him to touch you, but he doesnât. He simply nods, truthfully too caught up in the intoxicating feeling of your body and too impatient to feel you for the first time to drag this out.
âGood girl, Iâm gonna take these off.â He starts, hooking his fingers under the waistband of your pants and underwear to take them off together. Without hesitation, his eyes travel between your legs. âSuch a pretty, little cunt.â He hums already squeezing in between your thighs. Obviously distracted, he peppers little kissed up the sensitive skin on the inside of your thighs, still caught up staring at your soaking mess.
âSamu, pleaseâŠâ You whine. While you know he isnât purposefully teasing, well you donât know but you donât think at least, itâs just as frustrating. Your knees lock around his thick shoulders, pulling him closer to your heat.
âOkay, okay, pretty girl.â He grumbles, lapping right at the crook of your thigh and hip. Thereâs a split second of tense silence wherein he carefully spread your lips admiring the glisten of your slick under the dim light of the lamp. Your entire body is tense with anticipation, legs shaking as they struggled to spread around his wide frame.
And just like that quiet moment is over - he laps you up so desperately and greedily youâre twitching under his grasp, clawing at the wrinkled bed sheets below you for anything to ground you. He doesnât stop when he shifts your legs over his shoulders and wraps his hands around the bottom of your tummy to keep your jostling hips in place.
When you finally look back down to grab his hand, keeping a vice grip around his fingers, you also glance down for the first time. His dark, hazy eyes meet yours and you completely relax at last.
The feeling doesnât last long, not when he pushes his tongue into your tight, unprepared hole, slurping all he can get and pushing in as far as he can go. Osamuâs eyes roll to the back of his head at the sensation, your cum dribbling down his chin and coating up to his nose that keeps brushing against your throbbing clit.
With a solid, squelching pop he tears away from you. âTaste so good,â he heaves, lips coming back even as heâs speaking, ghosting over you. He buries himself in your cunt again, this time focusing solely on your clit, cycling through different motions until he finds the one that makes your hips strain under his sturdy hold.
âFeel so good!â You sigh. âPlease, please wanna cum.â
Smirking against you, he takes the hand youâre not clinging to back under your thigh and props it against your ass, slowly teasing a finger in. Absolutely gushing now, it slips in easily. You can feel his smile grow again for a moment before he refocuses on your clit, motions speeding up and increasing the pressure with which he worked. Itâs impossible to not shudder under him now, especially with one arm only holding you down.
âCâmon, pretty girl, cum.â He murmurs, easily hooking a second finger into you, pumping and curling them in time with his tongue. As he feels you flutter and cream he canât help but rut into the mattress, cock swelling from the taste of you. The pressure inside is too much and your want to let go is pushing you closer and closer, although itâs his mouth and fingers that really push you forward.
âC-cu-!â The words get trapped in your throat, overtaken by a hushed moan you struggle to bite back, trying - but very much failing - to be mindful of all the half-sleeping people strewn through the house. He slowly brings you down, fingers winding down and tongue lapping up your swollen clit while you convulse at his touch in time with the fluttering of your cunt.
At last, you have to drag him off, needily tugging up on his hands until he lets go. You try to pull him in to kiss, but he hesitates, his strength far outweighing your weak, blissful one and he hovers above you. Thereâs no reason to ask because almost immediately his fingers that were inside of you, absolutely drenched, come up to his mouth so he can make a show of sucking them dry for you.
âTaste even better than the stuff you make.â He sighs, letting you drag him down to your face. You can smell and taste yourself so strongly on his damp lips, it clouds your already hazy senses.
âHmm,â you manage out, when he rests his entire body weight against yours, lips pressed into the side of your head. Itâs only when you go to shift that you feel him pressing so incredibly hard and flush to you exposed skin through his soft pants, that you perk up. âSamu,â you begin brushing your fingers through his soft, dark hair, âcan I...wanna help you.â
âMhmm,â he nestles against your neck, kissing over the spots he left behind earlier, âin a minute, pretty girl, we have a lot of time ahead of us.â
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