#so yeah. i’m drained
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and every song i wrote became an escape rope
tied around my neck to
pull me up
to Heaven
#severance#helly r#the song doesn’t really fit if you look at the lyrics#but helly is a florence girl for me. i think she’d like her#so go listen to heaven is here it’s pretty good#the vibe is there#i had a very long and tedious day of listening to some pretty useless information on an academic event#it was online but our attendance was being checked all through the day#so yeah. i’m drained#i drew this while pretending to take notes#no not drew. painted. ugh english#i hope my alt texts are okay. i never really wrote them soooo tell me if i need to fix those#shurale art
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Why DO I do that?
#yeah I’m writing a new fic but taking it very slow because kinktober was so unbelievably draining and also#well#you know#being an American this week has been#it has taken a toll#anyway#it’s a COD fic cause teehee scary mask guys#hope y’all like ghost
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Soooo this has been hands down the worst last few days of my life. They say you think you have problems until you have to deal with medical problems. And yeah. Can confirm.
Anyway, at the risk of being cryptic and weird, I’m gonna be going on a semi-hiatus for the next little just while I try and adjust to the new normal.
I’ll post what I have written and I might log on here to doomscroll/reblog occasionally but I’m afraid the creative parts of my brain are entirely shut down atm. So, sorry if I don’t reply to dm’s or asks or if I miss tags or don’t update my fics, etc. I’m just on survival mode right now.
Basically, just know I’m not ghosting you! I really cherish the friendships and community I’ve found here and I don’t want that to go away, I just need some time. 🥺
#it took all of my brain power just to write this post#and even now I don’t even know if it makes sense#but yeah I’m running on fumes#I should clarify that no one is dying!!#but its also something that’s never going to go away or get better#learning to manage it and having a full reality shift is what’s draining my brain and energy stores#anyway I love yall so much#don’t forget me🥺pls
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i declare it, yoon min-ju is my spirit animal!



#brewing love#drunken romance#lee jong won#yoon minju#his INTROVERSION and that NEEDED time to be alone#i think i was an empath but it’s so draining so i tried learning the art of detachment#i’m impressed by his soft nature i can never be him. lmaoo but yeah he’s my spirit animal#kdrama#personal#text
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i’m just gonna drop this and then scurry away like a rat
#anyway. hi i’m not dead and i’m cute#not being on the internet has (unfortunately) been good for my mental health so.#and shit keeps happening. like. okay. yesterday my hot water heater went out#and like. in theory i could’ve fixed it (with help) but. there isn’t a drain plug on it or anything of the like which is Very Bad#cause i can’t drain it without water getting everywhere. and i can’t replace the heating element if i can’t drain it.#so woooooooo#i mean. if i wanted to get under the house i could do it maybe. like technically there’s A Way#but i am so not fucking doing that i’m sorry that’s Scary#so uh yeah. plumber dude is maybe coming today. maybe not. it’s fucked cause it’s harder to find someone out here yknow#but like. whatever. we’re making it work.#and yeah okay i thought i had ants in my bedroom so i sat and watched and i totally have ants#it’s not a food or mess thing though it’s just a There’s A Way Inside thing u know.#so i sealed the entry points right. and put out that kinda ant bait where they take it home and it kills everyone </3#tbh i hate it but. i’m sorry buddies u can live outside not in my bedroom#ugh and like the seal is temporary cause it’s just a fuckton of painters tape. i was a) super high when i did it and b) had nothing else#the worst part. is now i have to fucking take down this trim WHICH IS TOTALLY HIDING HOW THE ANTS ARE GETTING IN RIGHT#so now i have to take it down and then run along the wall seams with caulk and then repaint#WHICH i wanted to do eventually. just not now. i wanted to finish the kitchen first but whatever.#another fucked thing is that means i need to take down the trim in the living room and do the same thing#AND IVE ALREADY PAINTED THE LIVING ROOM. I THOUGHT I WAS DONE WITH IT FOR NOW.#so. basically. i have actually done very little in terms of renovating but. she’s still cute so we’re getting there#not me dumping in the tags sorry chat i’ve been isolating and trying to rebalance my dumbass feelings. it's working i think so. idk. but#now i’ll shut up. ily have a good day bestie forehead smooches byeeeeeeee#mine
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whenever you're playing phighting do you ever just look at the characters the opposite team is playing as and think ''we're gonna lose''
oh all the TIME, I think the worst ones are when I see a all skinned double healer (medkit and vinestaff) combo with skateboard, katana, and hyper,, those rounds are always the most miserable things in existence /silly
#Cro chatter#To. Everyone asking me stuff in my ask box I am so genuinely sorry I’ve been so unmotivated to answer any of them#I swear to god I’m not just ignoring asks I see every one and I’ve been trying to get to them for awhile :’DD#I’m gonna be answering a lot of them today but YEAH LOL#Also to mutuals/friends/etc I’m so sorry I’ve been neglecting all of you as well#I’ve just been very very drained both physically and mentally so I haven’t really had too much time for stuff :((#Ill try to be a bit better but so far if you guys wanna interact with me i highly suggest you all go to my twt for it since#Ive been a bit more alive there LMAO#But for now I’m gonna try not to neglect you all LOLLLL
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im very silly but sometimes it annoys me when people don’t enjoy something the exact same way I do. and it’s suuuuch a bad trait and I’m working on it 😭
#idk I think it’s the autism?? I go into a tag looking for metas and analysis and the like#and I see is reader insert fanfic and it’s like do y’all even actuality like what we’re consuming or are you people just lonely#and that’s not fair. There’s like not inherently one way to enjoy a piece of media#or when you talk to someone and they claim they’re a fan of something and then you talk to them for 6 seconds and you realize they only know#it from fanfic or tiktok#and it’s a flaw on my behalf to get annoyed by it I think.#I think the first thing is way less annoying than the second but there is nothing morally wrong with being annoying#n like I said earlier I think it’s from the weird defensiveness that comes with being autistic and having interests#there’s not a secret special interest competition. no one’s getting tested on how deeply they analyze the show or comic they read for fun#its just that alongside the rapidly plummeting literacy levels can get soooo draining so fast#but that’s a whole different problem#but yeah my reaction is annoying and a little elitist probably so I’m def working on it#I just wonder where it reallly comes from
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Hi you two…. Why th did I do this to myself the progress was such a struggle-
#ally's ocs#original character#art#gijinka#OC: Aether Crest#This was meant to be posted last night but I was conked out asleep after playing Maimai for a good 2 hours w a 15k rating guy#I’m not going into details but let’s just say that-#I got my ass kicked in Cryptarithm (an exp 13). Flashback is a banger. And WV is a stamina draining prick#Anyways BACK ON TOPIC#I still don’t have their lore exactly done done but#Let’s just say that these 2 idolizes who WV and Testify used to be#… one is the reason why Silent Answer exist. While the other is the reason why the Outer Ruins in Chunithm exist#So they… may or may not try to cause actual war between Chunithm and Arcaea that isn’t friendly matches#…. Yeah.#Also they can’t really be seperated for long. It’s bad for them
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really do not agree with some of these takes from the vc fandom concerning the show only fanbase
#at this point y’all#some of it just seems mean spirited#like whyyyy does it matter SO MUCH to some of y’all that newcomers are show only?#why can you not just…be happy the fanbase is growing??#and this is not directed at anyone in particular#I’m just…#i’m over the comments about the show only crowd. i really am.#why do you think they’re unable to grasp the complexity of what they’re watching#and yeah i have legit seen some blogs say this#even critizing them for reading the fanfics but not the books like…can we relax?#is iwtv a college level course with required reading now? lol like???#the show is not the same as the books and it’s perfectly fine for people to engage with one and not the other…#having a different perspective bc you have read the books is absolutely fine but like#having knowledge from the books doesn’t mean that your interpretations and opinions concerning the show are more valid or superior#i have had three more anons in my inbox talking about this and it’s starting to drain me#let! people! enjoy! the show! without requiring some in depth meta knowledge from the book#okay…tag rant over <3#iwtv#vampire chronicles
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Okay, not to undermine just how bad the teenage years were but the 20s are a different kind of torment…
#d0 stuff#like ugh#I have to read these things and reply to them and it won’t be pretty but#ugh#yeah I’m seeing that work + family have been draining my confrontation reserves#so now when it comes to uni I’m like. ugh. can I just ignore this problem until it (grows into sth bigger 🤡)#negative#just yeah. clown behaviour#but I’m so tired I don’t want to ✨ Unpack Shit ✨#tbh I think the pace of my character development has been already too fast so yah#leave me alone 🙏
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I don’t usually like making posts like this, but I’d appreciate prayers! There’s nothing Bad going on in my life, but the past day has been very emotionally heavy and I have a pretty important thing I’ll be doing tonight/tomorrow, and I’m a bit worried that it’s gonna be too much for me to handle. So prayers would be very much appreciated, just that God can lead me through all this and give me strength <3
#aaaaaah#my post#the thing I’ll be doing tonight/tomorrow involves a LOT of socializing#which is a little AAAAAAA because I feel like I just recovered from the socializing/busyness of two weeks ago#I wasn’t expecting to be that drained and I wasn’t expecting it to take so long to mentally recover#but I did recover annnnnd now I’m just gonna be doing more socializing XD#(for those who aren’t aware I am a Major introvert and social situations take so hekkin much out of me)#so… yeah#I’d really really appreciate prayers that I can Make It lol#like I said there’s nothing bad going on!#just a few things I’m nervous about#thanks for reading this <3
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i know the dash is going through severance right now and a lot of people i know are very into it. it seems very cool and i would love to watch it. however it’s my ex’s favorite show and i just KNOW that if i watch it i will only be able to think about him which is NOT conducive to building an environment where i think about him less
#ramblings#not even in a particularly yearn-y way#i just rlly don’t want to be thinking abt him as much as a currently am unfortunately. yeah it’s been two weeks#i’m much more Over him like it’s rlly not a big deal but i really don’t want to be into him or thinking about it#like it’s really a mental energy drain#my default setting is to assume that people stalk other people’s social medias as much as i do and i gave him my tumblr like an idiot#not directly . but he’s not an idiot#my other default setting is to let people in quickly. so unfortunately that means i see people i care about in everything i do#which now includes some guy i met and dated and now don’t talk to
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I’m super sorry for my inactivity :/ I’ve just been kinda meh lately, but I’m hoping I’ll get bitten by the writing bug again soon! ヽ(´□`。)ノ
#I think I’m gonna change aesthetics#maybe that’ll help??#I want something yellow#ooc.#delete.#but yeah I’m free tomorrow so hopefully I can write#idk what my deal is#but I’m not gonna force it#I went swimming today and feel so drained
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Question: if I started writing an original work and posted it on ao3, would anyone read it?
#I’ve had an idea for quite a while now but I don’t really care to see it published for real since it’s entirely self-indulgent…#I mean I think I might write it for me after all as practice#it’s kind of a mess so I’d be working on it as I go along but. Yeah#idk if a story about some messed up triplets with kind of solid light powers sounds interesting to you guys but it won’t leave my brain…#Not to worry! I am still writing my bsd fics!!! I’ve just been really busy with life stuff… and drained when I’m not… I’m trying promise :)#storyrambles
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😎
#I’m so happy I’m not on here as much during race weekends anymore#because like honestly sometimes coming on here is actually draining#like some max fans on here being so negative is just annoying to see#like yeah he didn’t have a great quali but Jesus you’d swear he was p20#okay he’s p6 on what’s the worst track to overtake but like come on#have some faith or at least stop acting like the championship is over#the car hasn’t been preforming amazingly sure but they know why#imola was a compromised set up which affected the hard tire#here is that there seems to be a massive difference between the sim and tack#but max literally has always been able to make the difference#rambles
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Sometimes I get reminded again why I do things less
#I wanted to make gifs so badly for us the series especially also some moots wished it from me#but yesterday I had a tooth ache throughout the day which never really went away#I went to a birthday but needed to come early because it was insufferable the pain. I took 1000mg painkillers and went to bed#which woke me up 1 1/2 h later despite the high dosage. I waited for three hours with pain which went up to my ear already#anyway waited for three hours to finally go to the dental clinic and (no) surprise they needed to remove my inflamed tooth#also one thing to know about me. I hate dentists and I’m getting anxiety attacks mixed with ugly cries breakdowns when I’m there which#also drains a lot of my energy and I didn’t had much left anyway#I didn’t really slept. came home felt great due to the anesthesia and wanted to make some gifs#but then as soon as I worked on some the anesthesia started to wear off and I felt a pain again and#I really thought it’s not worth it to risk my health only for some notes on tumblr. so yeah ended up deleting all my files of us#ate something to take some ibu and went to sleep. it was a much needed sleep#I’m still sleepy but the pain is gone and maybe I’ll pick it up again to start from scratch to make gifs for us :)#zey rants
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