#so yeah that will happen. after i have caffeine
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i think in lieu of writing this morning i'm going to finally move wyll to his own blog so i can focus on his drafts without getting distracted
#ooc.#my sideblog track record is atrocious#so yeah that will happen. after i have caffeine#dammon can stay a sideblog skjdhfskj he's in his corner#he doesn't need to come out of said corner#but wyll consumes my thoughts. therefore
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I was so anxious today even tho i was on top of my self care slash mental well being basics check-list... I suspect it was the caffeine on top of already worsening anxious Symptoms
#it was def that combo bc i did everything else right#i was weirdly calm for the first 15 mins of my commute this morning and then it was all downhill from there fr#i got so self conscious and anxious after that and then in class i stuttered twice and seemed so unsure of myself even though i was#otherwise communicating quite coherently and fluidly#and then after class at the coffee shop where i attended my online lecture i was so on edge#i think the matcha latte just added onto the shot of espresso for the worse#which is strange because thats really not a lot of caffeine? i literally had two shots of espresso the other day and got really hyper but i#didnt want to die about it or cry about it#so yeah ^_^ its probs bc the past two days have been rough so it snowballed#also i had a weird moment on my commute home#i was so nostalgic bc it was all warm and rainy and the sky was a warm grey#but then i was so melancholy i wanted to cry#and i swear in that moment i felt like something earth shattering was happening to me because i was so refreshed by the memories of a past#self but it all felt so strangely tragic. i didn't just feel happy. i felt happy and then distraught#and i probably looked like a fool because i cant control my facial expressions as well as i used to be able to#i feel like im being dramatic again but 乁( •_• )ㄏ i have the mind of a poet or whatever the hell they say#i dont think they say that#z.post
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#??? last time i had mcds and timmys iced coffee i hated it i know for sure bc i had it more than once and my opinion was the same#but yesterday i got mcds vanilla iced and today timmys and both are fine??? i could drink these again 🤔#like my other go to is the flavoured cold brews at timmys like roasted hazelnut (gone sob sob) or tiramisu#and only bc sometimes id prefer proper liquid coffee instead of. iced cap.#but like. yeah. it doesnt have me going bLEGHH after multiple sips so somethings changed :o!#def a good thing though bc i needed caffeine and not an iced cap today.. girl im literally going to fall asleep on the way home#(hopefully im wrong)#44597#and ig i could get free coffee at work but they only start opening up the snack bar at the same time i clock in and if ppl come in#then i gotta go work so. id rather just have it rn bc im early anyway🥲#ALSO COFFEE DOESNT USUALLY MAKE ME FEEL ANY MORE AWAKE THAN BEFORE. whats up w that!!!#everyone jokes the coffee or iced cap is gonna keep me awake at night then i pass out faster than everyone else like!!#there are some times a few years ago where i had this coffee at a viet restaurant and oh my GOD#drank a good amnt of it at once. got out of there and my heart was pounding??? 😭#but i also barely drank any coffee then and i drink more now so idk 🤔 crazy heart rate didnt usually happen before#nd doesnt rn but i dont usually drink strong coffee.. i think... 🤔#but yeah sometimes that shit doesnt really pick me up at all but like. cope. im literally gonna fall asleep if i dont try smn 😭
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I think somethings rlly fucking wrong with me
#I smoke weed and it triggers a paranoia episode I smoke weed and it triggers wtf I’m in now or maybe it’s just the caffeine combined with#the lack of sleep I only slept 2 hours last night I couldn’t sleep but then I was in a super weird mood all of yesterday which was the day#after the weed so maybe it was that or maybe not or maybe it’s just cause I was on weed for so long that my Brian’s a little fucked up abou#it or maybe it’s my body craving more weed in the way caffeine addicts crave more coffee bc it’s a similar level of addiction except weed#makes you more high and I am buzzing I am shaking while holding perfectly still I came up with a weirdass fuckign plan I thought was genius#and was so fuckign pissed off for a minute there in a way I don’t usually get where I’m not murderous but I’m not thinking clearly either#and actually it was green while anger is usually red or orange (ik it’s basic fuck off) but yeah it’s probably just the caffeine it’s prob#just the caffeine rn#but what about all the other times I keep fuckign getting like this am I in a mental health slump or am I chronically depressed and was the#past month or so a hypomanic episode or am I just grabbing onto things the way I do#I’d talk to my therapist about it but she’s on vacation til September fuck I need to talk to her I can’t sort all this out#I can’t tell if the brain fog is making it worse or better bc I can’t work through my thoughts but I also can’t spiral as efficiently#I keep thinking and feeling these great grand things about myself I’m a beautiful person everyone is lucky to have me I have the best ideas#and no one else can see it bc I know better than everyone else but they all feel so hollow and it’s just the last two days or maybe just#today I can’t remember I can’t remember a lot of things but was it the weed? what’s happening to me whats always coming back to happen to m#vent
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─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘪. (𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦) 🍊
⤷ summary: saudi arabian and australian grands prix happen! y/n starts making vlogs for the races and it reveals more about her and a certain driver's feelings than she hoped, not that she notices. poor oscar's stuck in the middle of it all but he's trying his best!
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liked by f1, landonorris, and 55,007 others
tagged landonorris and oscarpiastri
mclaren saudi arabia, you were beautiful even if the results weren't! ready for what's to come
12,567 comments
user1 admin not using a single nice photo of the drivers 😭
user2 admin be honest is this your revenge era
mclaren well, yes!
user3 HELP MEEEE
user4 the way lando looks at her 😭
user5 this is a place of business
user6 oscar looks petrified 💀
mclaren dw guys we're still training him!
oscarpiastri wtf why would u say it like that, i'm not a dog
mclaren full-time team mascot, part time driver
user7 admin drop the insta your so pretty 😭😭
user8 no literally, content of her WHERE
mclaren ynusername 🤲🏼
user9 LETS FUCKING GO
user10 HER DISSING HER OWN TEAM 💀 THEY'RE GONNA FIRE YOU GIRL
mclaren they don't pay me to LIE
user11 CRAZYY
user12 LANDO IS NEVER GETTING A GOOD PIC EVER AGAIN 😭
mclaren what can i say, i am no mans peace 🥱
user13 icon
landonorris reporting you to hr
mclaren for what
landonorris idk harrassment or something
mclaren ok keyboard warrior, lets calm down 💀
user14 KEYBOARD WARRIOR HELEPSJSM
user15 i vote admin just takes over and we don't even get driver pictures
user16 real and true
user17 i fear we may have lost the plot
user18 thoughts on today's results
mclaren i'm trying to be positive in general but man
user19 LMAOOOOO
user20 ik the pr department is shaking in their boots after every post notif
mclaren probably! but unfortunately for everyone, i am going to keep doing whatever i want
user21 no more lando beef, mclaren admin?
mclaren i forget but i never forgive. i forgot why we were fighting but i stay hating bitches 🥱
landonorris literally WHAT DID I DO
mclaren IDK BUT IK U PISSED ME OFF 🫵
oscarpiastri diabolical photo choice
oscarpiastri i look like a little kid on picture day
mclaren so basically your everyday look
oscarpiastri yk what you are making this work environment very hostile
mclaren i can make it more hostile if you want 🤨
oscarpiastri nevermind!!!
maxfewtrell most flattering lando picture i've seen in years
mclaren that's saying something isn't it 🤩
user22 i went to haterville and they all knew you admin
mclaren they actually just elected me mayor there!!! 💪🏻
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liked by bsfusername, landonorris, and 17,800 others
ynusername if my admin duties don't kill me, i promise my caffeine addiction will! (:
3,422 comments
user23 be honest, how many coffees have you had today
ynusername 3!
user24 oh that's not that bad
ynusername +5
user24 JESUS CHRSUT
bsfusername at this point i think meth would be healthier
ynusername honestly yeah
ynusername thanks for the suggestion!!
user25 nooo admin don't do meth ur so sexy aha
ynusername that just made me want to do meth more
landonorris so what i'm hearing is buying you an espresso machine would get me in your good graces 😇
user26 oh brother here he goes
ynusername you must be deaf then
landonorris 😔 2 espresso machines?
ynusername i don't want ur dirty espresso machines 🙄
oscarpiastri now what car is that 🫵
ynusername SHHHHH
oscarpiastri TRAITOR
bsf2username when your not busy being super sexy on a race track, can we go thrifting and get sweetgreen and overpriced coffee 🙏🏼🙏🏼
ynusername this could've been an email, get this out of my comments 💀
ynusername but yeah obviously
user27 admin vlogs when 😔
ynusername SOON!!! very very soon
user28 mother feeding us once again
ynusername brb, adding single mom who works two jobs, loves her kids, and never stops to my resume
danielricciardo coffee recipe where?
ynusername in your dms now ‼️
danielricciardo is this flirting
ynusername no if i was flirting i would've told you to ask me in person, i'm just being charitable
landonorris can i get the coffee recipe too then 🤲🏼
ynusername wdy want next, my mugs? keep on walking charity case
user29 CHARITY CASE IS CRAZYDFHAJ
user30 she's so effortlessly funny and mean i love her
user31 i feel like this is so unprofessional /:
ynusername babe professional where, you are on??? my personal?? account???
user32 maybe she's born with it, maybe it's the fact that she's consumed enough caffeine to tranquelize a horse
user33 oh please the horse would be dead
ynusername call an ambulance, BUT NOT FOR ME ‼️💪🏻🗣️
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ynusername posted to story!
(caption: melbourne vlog out now on youtube, go watch!!)
15,221 replies
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would you like to watch? yes or no
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"This thing better be working," could be heard slightly muffled in between vague shuffling sounds. After a second or two of incoherent noise, the camera footage finally came on. Y/N smiled at herself in the camera as the recording light blinked to life, and raised her hand victoriously. She grabbed the smile microphone in front of her and laughed, "It looks like everything is working. Thank God, I wouldn't have known how to fix it otherwise."
"Alright everybody, welcome to the first race weekend vlog hosted by me! Your favorite McLaren admin and social manager. It took me forever to figure out how I wanted to go about this, but now I think I settled on a format that will work," She explained as she walked around the small, clean kitchen that was within frame of the camera. She pulled a glass jar out of her cabinets and left it on the counter before pulling a jug of cold brew and a cartridge of milk out of her fridge.
"It is currently 7:30 A.M on March 29th, and I have a flight to Melbourne in 3 hours. I'm already packed and ready for this weekend, but I wanted to get an introduction filmed and I wanted to take a shower before I left." Y/N paused for a moment as she poured the coffee into her mason jar until she seemed satisfied and began to add some milk. "I am totally exhausted so this is probably cup one of like," she laughed, "I don't know seven probably. And this is a pretty big jar I won't lie."
"The race weekend doesn't technically start until Friday, so I'll be getting there a bit early, but I wanted to film some content before the race weekend gets really hectic, so McLaren is sending me a little bit earlier. I'm excited though! I love the heat, even if I live in London the antithesis of Australian weather," she taste-tested her coffee and hummed in delight.
"God I really never miss with this stuff," she said contently. "Anyway, it's a bit of an early start today, but I'll have plenty of time to sleep on the fight. I mean can you believe that London to Melbourne is a nearly 22 hours," she scoffed. "I vote that we start making all of the races in one place so I don't have to feel jet lag more painful than the force of 1,000 suns every other weekend. Not that I'm complaining," she chuckled awkwardly, "I love my job McLaren please don't fire me."
Abruptly an orange tabby cat came into the frame of the camera, causing Y/N to abruptly grab her glass jar in the hopes of avoiding a mess. She gasped, but laughed as the cat scampered off as quickly as it had come. She shook her head fondly.
"That, ladies and gentleman, was Cali! My cat. She's literally my baby, and I love her more than anything else on this earth. However, she does have an affinity for hitting things off of counters and breaking them. She also hates men and nearly all other animals, so she's basically the world's biggest hazard to society. She's a good girl, I love her." Y/N explained between sips of coffee as she stared wistfully past the the frame of the camera, where it could be assumed Cali had gone.
Abruptly an alarm went off and Y/N threw her head back with a groan.
"That means I have to get in the shower and get ready so I can leave on time," she said, before taking a few more sips of coffee. "I'm going to go do that, and the next time you'll hear my beautiful voice will be at the Melbourne Airport! Cue the travel montage!"
An assortment of clips follow. Y/N is seen dragging her luggage through Heathrow Airport. Y/N is seen ordering another coffee at the airport, finishing the coffee, and ordering another before her flight. Y/N is seen responding to emails from her airplane seat, editing video footage, and responding to instragram and twitter comments. Footage is shown outside the plane window of a cloudy, blue sky and a time lapse is shown as the sky grows beautiful shades of pink and red before becoming a starry-night sky. Y/N is seen cozy in a throw blanket and a travel pillow, presumably asleep with headphones on. Y/N is shown pulling her luggage through the airport once again, with a brand new coffee cup in hand. She smiles, taking a sip before she is seen settled down in a seat in the bustling airport.
"Twenty-two or so hours later and I have finally landed in Melbourne. I'm waiting for my Uber to get here so I can finally be taken to my hotel to drop my stuff off. I have a meeting with the McLaren drivers in two hours, but luckily I slept really well on the plane. I don't know how else I would be able to deal with Lando Norris. I'm going to finish this coffee in order to maximize my tolerance for the next few hours, but I suspect I'll be getting a new coffee before I reach that meeting. My addiction truly knows no bounds," she laughs, trying to ignore the people vaguely shown within frame that are staring at her speaking to a camera.
The camera cuts abruptly and the waiting screen from SpongeBob flashes on the screen, including the narrator's voice reading "2 hours later."
Y/N is shown once again in new clothes, a new coffee cup in hand, and luggage replaced by a small canvas bag. Her comfortable plane clothes have been swapped out for jean shorts and a plain white tank-top. Her hair is clipped back out of her face, and she is adorned with simple gold jewelry and light makeup.
Y/N smiles at the camera as she walks, bustling and talking heard around her, before whispering into the small microphone, "I have arrived at the McLaren garage. It is now time to meet with Lord Lando and workplace mascot Oscar Piastri," the titles slip off her tongue sarcastically and she doesn't bother suppressing an eye-roll.
In the next clip, Oscar and Lando are seen seated on either side of her as they sit in what seems like a board-room. Lando leans over and whispers something that the camera doesn't pick up and Oscar laughs while Y/N grimaces and reaches forward to readjust the camera. When the camera comes back on, Lando and Oscar are seated together on the left of Y/N as she faces on angle toward both them and the camera.
"Don't just sit there and look pretty, say hello to the camera boys," Y/N says and Oscar cackles at the disgruntled look on Lando's face.
"Is that your way of calling me pretty Y/N," Lando chokes out between laughs, and Y/N scoffs with an eye-roll.
"I was actually talking about Oscar, but whatever floats your little papaya boat Norris," Y/N deadpans and Oscar doubles over from the force of his laughter at the pout on Lando's face.
"That's not nice at all, I hope you know that. I think I am sitting here very prettily, thank you very much," Lando says, leaning into the girl next to him to speak into her microphone.
Y/N draws the microphone back, swatting him away, "Yes, yes quite prettily," Y/N mocks in a British accent.
Oscar, still trying to recover, joins in, "Pretty little Lando Norris," and Y/N laughs jovially, reaching across Lando as if the boy weren't there to high-five the Austrialian driver.
"Bullies, the lot of you," Lando mumbles and Y/N brushes off his comment without response before finally facing the camera.
"Anyway, welcome to the first McLaren race weekend vlog. I'm Y/N L/N, the best media manager in the whole god damn world, and this is Lando Norris, the biggest pain in my ass, and Oscar Piastri, the second biggest pain in my ass. How are you feeling about Melbourne boys?" Y/N questions, transitioning smoothly much to the British driver's chagrin.
"Feeling proud to be the second biggest pain in the ass and not the first. Probably the only time i've been glad to get second actually," Oscar comments and Y/N laughs as Lando shakes his head in disappointment.
"But in all seriousness it is good to be home, this is easily my favorite race of the year seeing as it's my home race and i'm looking forward to, hopefully, good results from our team," Oscar supplies and Y/N nods along to his words.
"Yes, Australia, we are in you and we are happy about it," both boys choked out a laugh at the manager's sexual innuendo and Oscar quickly covered his mouth with his hand so as not to react too much. "What about you Lando what are you feeling," Y/N questioned, leaning the small microphone to the boy.
"Feeling like that was a stupid joke. And also like I am going to be getting P1 this weekend. I can feel it in my bones."
"Leave my jokes alone Lando, you're not being paid to be a critic," she scoffed, "and if I recall, you said the same thing in Saudi Arabia not that long ago. What's changed now?"
Lando rolled his eyes, "What's changed is that we're in Australia now and I'm feeling much more confident."
"Well thank god for that," Y/N supplied unhelpfully as Oscar laughed.
"Now, what we really came here for, it's time to film a video for this channel, it's going to be a fan Q and A, I picked the questions. By the time this vlog is up, the QnA should've already been posted. So feel free to stop watching this and to go watch that or whatever," Y/N commented. "After that we're going to film a TikTok challenge," both and Lando and Oscar grimaced, but Y/N ignored their dismay at the idea of fiming yet another TikTok, so cue the montage! Filming time!" Y/N exclaimed and the screen transitioned to a new series of clips.
In the first clip Oscar and Lando were sitting in two chairs while Y/N sat across from them with a set of notecards.
"Lando, this question from user "ln4mania" asks, "Are you and admin actually friends? Or is the online beef real? The people demand answers!" Y/N reads off with a laugh.
"Do you hear that, the people demand answers Lando! Don't keep them waiting!" Oscar and Y/N laugh as Lando shakes his head and tucks his face into his hands.
"There is no beef, guys. Me and admin, or rather me and Y/N are just fine. We hadn't even actually met when that happened," Lando supplied between laughs. Y/N looked at the camera and rolled her eyes with a shake of her head, faux-disagreeing with the boy.
She ignored the simmering pit of disappointment in her stomach. She did in fact have a problem with entitled little Lando Norris who still gave her side-eyed looks and judgmental stares whenever he saw her. If that wasn't humiliating enough, Oscar had clearly noticed it too, which just gave Y/N the feeling that she wasn't being taken seriously at all now that Oscar understood Lando's lack of respect for Y/N. However that didn't matter in the current moment. All that mattered was making this video.
The next clip showed Lando and Oscar sitting at a table with bowls of water in front of them and towels strewn across a chair just within frame of the camera. Y/N stood behind them, hands rested in their hair as she reacted to the prompts being read by someone, an unnamed media intern, off-camera.
"Who is harder to make videos with?" The intern asked and Y/N huffed out a laugh as she let her hands fully grasp Lando's curls and push him into the water quickly. He sputtered, trying to blink the water out of his eyes as Y/N laughed at the wet-puppy dog look he was sporting.
Y/N tried to shake the ridiculous desire to let her hands run through the soft curls underneath her finger tips. Curse Lando and whatever stupidly good, rich-person hair routine he used that made him smell good and look good, and... whatever.
Lando, blinking water out of his eyes, was now undoubtedly certain that being damn-near waterboarded was worth it if it meant that Y/N would laugh like that again. He knew Oscar would harass him again later for being "down-bad" or something along those lines- as he had done every time he caught the man staring-, but as he caught a glimpse of Y/N's bright smile and shaking shoulders, he found he didn't really care.
The next clip showed Oscar, Lando, Y/N, and a laughing media intern as they all dried off- somehow all having become wet through the course of filming. Y/N dried herself off quickly, taking a sip of her newly refilled coffee, not seeing the way that only the camera and Oscar saw Lando stared at her until the driver was nudged back into focus on drying himself off.
A title-card once again came on the screen with white words on a photo collage of Australian grand-prix candids that Y/N had taken, reading "Race montage? More likely than you'd think."
Footage was shown of the free practice sessions. Oscar and Lando getting in and out of their cars. Engineers along the pit wall going over data. The team speaking incoherently, going over the game plan for Sunday's race. Oscar and Lando greeting fans, signing merch, and posing for photos. Y/N smiling and waving at a cheering crowd of people before staring at the camera incredulously with a small caption reading: "Omg she's famous your honor". More clips showed Lando laughing as Oscar tossed grapes and Lando moved to catch them with his mouth. Lando nearly choking as Y/N cackled in the background. Multiple clips showing Y/N with a fresh coffee, and another... and another, as Oscar's face in the background grew with concern. Zak Brown explaining to Y/N the dangers of caffeine overdose, and the need for moderation. Y/N explaining to Zak Brown that without coffee she would simply collapse and die, which the camera showed did nothing to ease her concern. Y/N getting caps signed by the drivers for fans and walking away with intricate friendship bracelets decorating her wrists.
And finally footage of the race. The engineers in the garage. The pit-crew changing tires. The cars racing past as Y/N watched attentively. Footage of the crowd as they cheered when the cars whizzed past. Smiling faces of fans. Y/N's cheers as Oscar and Lando passed. The smiling faces of McLaren employees as Lando and Oscar crossed the checkered flag in P6 and P8 respectively.
Y/N accepting hugs from both drivers, ignoring the burning sensation in her stomach as Lando wrapped his arms around her with a smile and a laugh. Y/N calling Lando smelly and telling him to go wash off if he wants to hug her next time, and him rolling his eyes at her fondly before making a face at the camera. The podium celebration is shown and Y/N smiles as the anthem plays, even though it's not for her own team.
The final clip is shown of Y/N in her hotel room, comfortable in sweats as she sits on the unmade bed.
"Not bad results this week guys! P6 for Lando and P8 for Oscar, which are good points for the team. I'm happy on my end, I think we got some good content filmed, and I am now ready to go to sleep so I can get home to Cali and my own bed quicker. I hope you enjoyed this video, and if you didn't don't tell me because I don't care!" Y/N jokes with a smile.
"Hopefully I will see you all at the next race, if not the race after that! Bye papaya fans, and be sure to follow us on instagram and all of the other social platforms!" Y/N exclaimed, gesturing to the list of the social media handles that appeared on her right hand side.
And with that, the camera cut to black.
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liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, and 29,145 others
ynusername afraid to report that i fought jetlag and lost 😔 i did sleep for 25 hours straight after melbourne and i had no clue where i was when i woke up! shout out cali for waking me up 🙏🏼 best friend frl
9,547 comments
bsfusername i'm going to try not to be offended by that caption (love you bb cali) but FUCK YOU CAUSE I BOUGHT YOUR ASS BREAKFAST
ynusername my bad! s/o to that bomb ass omlette 🤩
bsfusername never doing shit for you again
user34 that vlog was god tier, how long did that take
ynusername it took 7 hours of editing and years off my life, thanks so much for asking 🥳
maxverstappen1 thanks again for those podium photos! you have a gift for photography 💪🏻
ynusername don't mention it! 👍🏼
ynusername (no seriously, mclaren might behead me)
mclaren beheading is so last year. firing squad. 🗣️
user35 not y/n threatening herself 💀
oscarpiastri suprised your body didn't naturally wake up for coffee
ynusername it did! just 25 hours later
user36 your poor cat was literally starving for a whole day? youre a horrible owner
ynusername let me introduce you to god's greatest creation: the automatic feeder!!! i'm sure they can mail one to whatever fucking rock you live under!
user37 PERIODDDD
user38 me personally? i'd never log on again
user39 she needs a personal channel 🙏🏼🙏🏼 i'd subscribe
user40 her cat is so cute 😭😭😭 gimme that
ynusername 🫵 STAY BACK HEATHEN, NO ONE TOUCHES CALI AND LIVES
user40 my bad fam 🧍🏻♀️
user41 i want someone to love me as much as she loves that mean ass cat
landonorris don't you have a job to be doing 💀💀 she slept through a full work day
user42 lando always on her ass and for whattttt
user43 obsessed obsessed obsessed
ynusername i had the day off! but not the guy who was streaming video games coming for me 🥱 talking bout get a job
user44 lando and y/n beefing on insta again? we're so back
user45 at this point instagram comment beef isn't enough, they need to duel or some shit
user46 the caffeine addiction almost got her guys
ynusername i wish it would, then i wouldn't have to work with lando's annoying ass
landonorris I CAN SEE YOUR COMMENTS???
ynusername THAT'S THE POINT
user47 honestly just give her a gun atp, these men test her too damn much
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user48 NURSE 🫵 SHE'S RIGHT HERE
user49 no fr, like let's get back to bed grandma
user50 OP, are you concussed?
user51 no actually cause didn't y/n just say she wanted to khs working with him 💀💀
pastryboy81 that sign can't stop me, because i can't read!
user53 OK I ACTUALLY SEE THE VISION
user54 ARE YOUR EYES CLOSED???!1!1
user55 i fear i totally get it 😔
user56 it's giving enemies to lovers, secret relationship type vibe lowkkkk
user57 no deadass like he hugged her reallll tight
user58 she also hugged oscar 😭😭?? and he has a whole gf
user59 the way she shoved him off and told him he reeked not 5 seconds after 💀 delusion is a disease yall
user60 someone call the f1 gossip pages cause 😗
user61 more like someone call the ward cause somethings real off with yall 🤨
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sorry that this update took forever, i had surgery and recovery has been rougher than i expected! hope you enjoy!!
please leave your thoughts in the comments and feel free to drop a request for your fav in my asks <3
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𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
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Trash Novel Chronicles: I Want to Retire - Idia Shroud x reader
You write a novel that reads like a dumpster fire and while trying to delete the draft, you accidentally get isekai’d into it. Now, as the villainess you have to get Idia Shroud on your side as well as survive high society. You have your work cut out for you.
Series Masterlist
You’ve lived a life. A noble life, full of honor, glory, and caffeine-fueled late-night writing sessions.
You're an aspiring author.
An aspiring author who, unfortunately, just created the most stupid novel plot of all time.
At least, that’s how it feels. You sit back, staring at your screen, utterly defeated as your latest creation flickers mockingly before you.
You’ve named it: "The Battle for Genius Prince Idia’s Hand" (working title, don’t judge). And wow, it’s a mess.
Here’s the breakdown of your disaster:
You’ve got your heroine—a girl so sweet she’s practically made of sugar, like one of those cookies that look good but crumble the second you bite into them. Naturally, she’s fighting for the affection of your male lead, Prince Idia, who is a socially awkward, genius mechanic prince (because you thought it’d be fun to make him hot and bad with people).
Then there’s the villainess. Ah, the villainess. She’s smart, sharp-tongued, and has enough sass to level a small city. Her entire personality? Sabotage. And she’s also after Idia—because apparently, that’s the only thing women in this story care about. (You regret this immensely.)
But oh no! Plot twist! Idia gets kidnapped by some unnamed evil force (you’ll figure it out later). The heroine? Well, instead of rescuing him, she falls for some Bland Prince. You don’t even know why. You think his name might be Greg. Or Gerald. Honestly, he’s that unremarkable.
Meanwhile, the villainess doesn’t even care anymore about Idia. Instead, she’s full-on dedicated to ruining the heroine’s new, bland romance because… well, that’s her whole schtick.
It’s… awful.
You sit back, hands in your hair, groaning aloud. “What is this? Who would even read this?”
You glance at your notes. They’re a chaotic mess of random scribbles: “Idia = genius, but hates people,” “Villainess needs more fire,” and “Heroine? Too boring. Spice her up. Maybe dragons?”
Yeah. This isn’t working.
You slump in your chair, utterly defeated. The characters are good, great even! But the plot? Oh, the plot is a dumpster fire. No, worse. It’s a flaming dumpster floating down a river of bad decisions. You can’t believe you spent hours writing this.
That’s it. You’re scrapping the entire thing. You’ll keep the characters, sure. But the story? Gone. Deleted. No one needs to suffer through this mess.
Determined, you crack your knuckles and reach for the keyboard, ready to hit the big red “DELETE” button on your disasterpiece.
“Say goodbye to this trash heap,” you mutter, “and hello to some actual good writing.”
But, alas, the universe has other plans.
Just as your finger hovers over the delete key, the worst possible thing happens. Your elbow, as if possessed by the forces of chaos itself, nudges the precariously balanced coffee cup on your desk. The liquid inside, which you had so carefully placed right next to your laptop like a ticking time bomb, tips. In slow motion, you watch the dark, caffeinated doom spill over the edge and land directly onto your keyboard.
“No, no, no, no, NO!” you shout, lunging forward, but it’s too late.
The coffee floods your keys like a tidal wave of misfortune. Your laptop makes a sickening little noise, a soft bzzt, and the screen flickers ominously. You sit there, frozen in horror, watching your computer sizzle as if it’s been cursed by the gods of terrible life choices.
And then—just when you think it couldn’t get worse—it gets worse.
There’s a small, but very real, spark. You flinch back, because nothing good ever comes from sparks. The screen flickers violently, the keys start to buzz, and then—before you can even process what’s happening—you feel it.
ZAP!
Electricity courses through your body. Your vision flashes white, your muscles seize, and in one horrifyingly comedic moment, you realize you’re being electrocuted by your own laptop.
You’d scream if you could, but all you manage is a high-pitched whimper before everything goes black.
Dead. You’re dead. Killed by your own coffee and a poorly thought-out novel. Fantastic.
You blink your eyes open, your head pounding like you’ve been hit with a ton of bricks—or, more likely, an electrical charge. Slowly, your vision clears, and you find yourself… staring at an unfamiliar, ornately decorated ceiling.
Where the hell are you?
You sit up with a groan, and that’s when it hits you: the bed. It’s massive, plush, and absurdly luxurious—definitely not your usual ratty mattress. Panic sets in, and you scramble out of bed, only to catch your reflection in a nearby mirror.
It’s not your reflection.
Oh.
Oh, Shit.
Staring back at you is her. The villainess. The sharp-tongued, drama-fueled antagonist of your novel. The one with a penchant for ruining lives and stealing the spotlight. The one you made up.
You gasp, gripping the sides of the mirror. “No. NO.” You stare at the dark hair cascading over your shoulders, the perfectly arched brows, and the terrifyingly intense smirk that seems to have a life of its own. “Why am I her? Why this of all characters?”
You step back from the mirror and slap your cheeks, half hoping that’ll wake you up from this fever dream. It doesn’t. You’re still stuck in the body of the villainess, and with each passing second, reality—or whatever twisted version of it this is—sinks in deeper.
“Of course,” you mutter, throwing your hands up in frustration. “Of course this is my life now. I write the dumbest novel in existence, and this is what I get.” You pace in front of the mirror, ranting to no one in particular. “Who even thinks it’s a good idea to make me the villainess? Me?! I didn’t sign up for this!”
After a few minutes of thoroughly berating yourself—and by extension, the cosmic forces that brought you here—you finally stop, resting your hands on your hips.
“Okay. Fine. FINE. I’ll play your stupid game, universe.” You throw one last glare at your reflection. “But I’m not tormenting the heroine. Nope. She can have her stupid one-sided rivalry for all I care. I want nothing to do with this mess.”
The decision made, you shake your head and take a deep breath. “Alright, what’s next?” You glance around the villainess’s extravagant room, trying to figure out your next move. And then, a lightbulb goes off in your head.
Prince Idia.
In your novel, he’s socially awkward, reclusive, and definitely doesn’t deserve to get caught up in this disaster. He’s just collateral damage in your sorry excuse for a plot, and honestly? You feel kinda bad about it.
You snap your fingers. “That’s it. I’ll find Prince Idia. Save him or something. Maybe I can even get a reward for rescuing a royal!” You’re feeling pretty good about this plan—much better than sticking around and causing drama with the heroine, at least.
With a dramatic flourish (you are still the villainess, after all), you head for the door, ready to track down Idia and redeem yourself in whatever twisted way you can manage. Who knows, maybe this whole situation won’t be as bad as you thought.
Or… maybe it’ll be even worse. But you’ll cross that bridge when you get to it.
After what feels like hours of arguing with your stubborn, uptight butler—who is absolutely convinced that your decision to head straight for the abandoned palace at the edge of town is the worst idea you’ve ever had—you finally break free.
“If anyone was kidnapped, that’s where they’d be!” you shout over your shoulder as you march toward your carriage, ignoring his protests about "safety" and "reckless behavior."
Butler or not, you’re on a mission. And after a bumpy ride to the palace, here you are, standing at the entrance, waiting for the traps or menacing guards to pounce.
...Nothing.
It’s strangely anticlimactic, actually. You push open the door, expecting maybe a cackle or some ominous fog. But no, just dust and an eerie silence. You frown, stepping cautiously inside.
“What kind of royal abduction is this? Budget cuts?”
Just as you’re about to chalk this whole thing up to a monumental waste of time, you hear it—a low curse, followed by the distinct sound of tinkering. You freeze, listening closer.
Definitely someone messing with something.
Your hand instinctively reaches for your trusty gun (bless past-you for deciding guns belonged in this novel), and with practiced ease, you pull it out and slam open the nearest door.
"Hands up!" you yell, pointing the barrel directly at—
A very, very scared Prince Idia, crouching beside what looks like a half-assembled mechanical gadget. His wide, shocked eyes meet yours, and he lets out a startled yelp, nearly knocking over the tools scattered around him.
"Wh-What the hell?!" you blurt, lowering the gun slightly. This was not the daring rescue scene you imagined.
Idia flinches, awkwardly raising his hands. “I—uh, I don’t know who you are, but how did you even find me?!” he stammers, looking at you like you just kicked his favorite gaming console.
"How did I—? Are you kidding me?" You gesture dramatically with the gun, still in shock. "I’m one of the people you were supposed to choose from! Remember? The whole ‘Battle for the Hand of Prince Idia’ thing?”
He blinks at you, deadpan. “Oh… Oh, no,” he mutters, more to himself than you. “Absolutely not. I’m not going back. I staged this whole thing for a reason.” He crosses his arms, stubborn. “I’ll just stay here with my gadgets. You can go back to… whatever you do.”
You stare at him, flabbergasted. “What do you mean you staged this?” You glance around the dusty, decrepit palace. “This is your brilliant escape plan? Hiding out in the palace equivalent of a haunted IKEA?”
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Look, it’s quiet, it’s out of the way, and no one bothers me here. I didn’t get kidnapped, okay? I just—didn’t want to deal with all the royal court nonsense.” He shrugs, as if staging a fake kidnapping is the most logical thing in the world.
“You do realize that Ortho is still at the palace, right? Your little brother? Alone? Without you?” You raise an eyebrow, watching the slow dawning horror creep across Idia’s face.
“Yeah, so?” He huffs. “He’s the Crown Prince now. I’m sure he’s fine—"
“Bro,” you interrupt, “have you seen high society? Ortho’s gonna get eaten alive. Not to mention the other princes aren’t just gonna let him waltz around with a crown on his head without making his life miserable.”
Idia’s eyes go wide, his brain clearly working overtime as the realization hits him like a ton of bricks. “Oh… Oh no. I didn’t think of that.”
You nod sagely. “Yeah. Big oops.”
He stares at the ground, looking like he’s physically shrinking under the weight of his own bad decisions. And then—something unthinkable happens.
“Help me,” he says, his voice desperate. He looks up at you with pleading eyes. “Please. I’ll—I’ll make you anything you want, build you gadgets, whatever you need! Just help me navigate high society while I… hide in the shadows or whatever.”
You stare at him in disbelief. “Are you… Are you asking me to pose as your fake fiancée?”
Idia flushes crimson, his hands flailing. “N-No! Well, maybe? Yes. I mean, yeah, but it’s not like I want to—" He groans, burying his face in his hands. “Just… ugh. Yes. Please.”
You cross your arms, tapping your chin. “Hmm. Fake engagement, huh? Alright, but only if you give me a beach house when this farce is over and Ortho officially takes the crown.”
Idia looks up at you, blinking in surprise. “A beach house? That’s your condition?”
You smirk. “Hey, I know what I want. So, do we have a deal?”
He hesitates for a moment, but then sighs, defeated. “Fine. You get the beach house. Just… make sure no one talks to me. Or atleast, you have to handle almost all the talking.”
With a satisfied nod, you extend your hand. “Deal.”
Idia, still red-faced and awkward, shakes your hand. You can’t help but wonder what sort of chaos you’ve just agreed to—but at least you’re getting a beach house out of it.
Sneaking Idia back to your manor wasn’t the most glamorous affair. He insisted on wearing a cloak, “for dramatic effect,” even though the streets were practically empty.
"You know, for a guy who's supposed to be a genius, you're real bad at blending in," you deadpan as he stumbles over his own cloak.
"It’s supposed to make me inconspicuous," Idia mutters, pulling the hood down further. "People see a cloak, they assume you’re some weirdo and leave you alone. It’s basic stealth mechanics."
“Uh-huh. And tripping on it helps too?”
“Shut up.”
Once inside the manor, you sit him down to discuss the details of how you’re going to spin this whole ‘rescue’ thing. Idia, now a little more at ease, starts fiddling with some gadget he pulled from one of his cloak’s hidden pockets. You can't tell if he's actually paying attention, but you figure you’d better get started.
"Okay," you say, leaning in like you’re about to hatch the greatest scheme of your life. "We need a story. Something grand. Heroic. Full of intrigue, mystery—"
“Or we could just say I, uh, got lost?” Idia offers halfheartedly. “And you happened to find me by accident. That sounds more plausible.”
You shoot him a look. "Idia, this is high society. No one ‘just gets lost for 3 months.’ We need something more exciting. Like, I fought off a band of rogue kidnappers—"
“Did you now?”
“And there was this epic battle—"
“With what? Your sense of direction?”
You glare. “Focus. We need an alibi."
Idia sighs. “Fine, whatever. Make it sound cool, but not too cool. If it’s too impressive, people will start thinking I owe you something.”
“Oh, don’t worry. I already have an idea of what you owe me,” you say, smirking.
His eyes narrow in suspicion, but you move on.
"Alright, so I 'bravely' tracked you down to the abandoned palace—"
"Because obviously that's where I'd be hiding," Idia interrupts sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
"—and I singlehandedly defeated a gang of ruthless kidnappers, saving you from a life of captivity. You, overwhelmed by my gallantry, are forever in my debt—"
Idia snorts. "Forever in your debt? Yeah, right. You're more likely to find me dead than in your debt."
“Just go with it. It’s a good story.”
Eventually, you both settle on a suitably ridiculous tale where you, after days of tireless investigation, heroically rescued him from an evil plot to overthrow the royal family. It's unnecessarily elaborate, full of conveniently absent witnesses and a dramatic escape from a non-existent dungeon. The whole thing’s so ridiculous, you almost feel bad for making anyone listen to it.
“Right,” you say, standing up. “Now we just need to sell this at court.”
When you arrive at the palace, Idia hangs back while you step forward, playing your part as the "heroic rescuer." Ortho’s the first one to spot you, and when his eyes land on Idia, they widen with shock and excitement.
“Brother!” Ortho shouts, practically flying over to tackle Idia in a hug. “I knew you’d come back!”
Idia, not really one for public displays of affection, awkwardly pats Ortho’s head. “Yeah, yeah, don’t make a big deal out of it,” he grumbles, though you can see the tiny smile tugging at his lips. “I was, uh, working on some top-secret stuff. Y’know, important genius-level projects.”
Ortho beams. “That sounds just like you!”
You have to hold back a snicker. Yeah, real “top-secret.” Like avoiding social interaction at all costs.
Soon, you’re ushered into the royal court. The king—who clearly knows something is up—doesn't look remotely surprised by the "revelation" that Idia was never actually kidnapped. But, because royal politics are weird, he plays along.
“So, Prince Idia,” the king says, raising an eyebrow, “I suppose you’ll want the Crown Prince title back now that you’ve returned?”
Idia freezes, panic flashing in his eyes. "Uh, absolutely not. Hard pass. Nope. Ortho’s got it handled, right? He can keep the whole… crown… thing.”
Ortho nods eagerly from behind him. “I’ve got it covered!”
The king sighs but nods. “Very well. And what about you?” He turns to you. “Surely, a brave soul such as yourself deserves a reward.”
Here it comes. You’ve rehearsed this with Idia, but now that you’re on the spot, you can’t help the dramatic flair in your voice as you clasp your hands together and say, “All I ask… is for Prince Idia’s hand.”
The king looks thoroughly amused, while Idia, beside you, is turning a very interesting shade of red.
“What?” Idia hisses under his breath. “That was not the line.”
You grin, leaning closer. “Yeah, but you have to admit, it’s funnier this way.”
To his credit, Idia doesn’t collapse on the spot, though he does look like he’s reconsidering his life choices.
Meanwhile, from across the room, you catch the third prince—your so-called "male lead"—glaring daggers at you. He looks like he's about to burst a blood vessel, while the heroine next to him is scandalized beyond belief.
“B-but Idia’s hand was supposed to be won!” she protests, clearly flustered.
You tilt your head innocently. “Oh? Not satisfied with the third Prince?” you ask, batting your lashes at her.
Her face goes red, and the Bland Prince—whoever he is—looks equally scandalized.
Next to you, Idia quietly high-fives you behind his back.
“Nice one,” he whispers.
As you both walk away from the court, Idia glances over at you, his usual sarcasm softened by relief. “You know, I really thought I’d end up hating this whole scheme, but you’re not bad at playing the part.”
You chuckle, nudging him. “Told you it’d be fun. And now I get a beach house, so it’s a win-win.”
Idia sighs but can’t hide the smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah, yeah. Just don’t make me go to any more parties, okay?”
“Deal.”
You’re sitting across from Idia in the study, supposedly "spending time together" to prove to the world how deeply smitten you both are. In reality, though, you’re plotting out your beach house retirement plan, while Idia is hunched over his latest gadget, muttering like a mad scientist.
"Okay, so if I tweak this—boom, self-repairing AI drone. Easy. The idiots at court would never get it," he whispers to himself, eyes glued to the wires and gears he's fiddling with.
You’re busy doodling floor plans of your dream beach house, adding an extra pool for fun. “Yeah, totally, sweetheart,” you mumble, pretending to listen. This fake relationship thing is going swimmingly.
That’s when the door flies open, and in waltzes the male lead—of course he doesn't knock. The guy practically drips entitlement as he saunters in, admiring himself in the reflection of a spoon he’s for some reason carrying.
Without missing a beat, you and Idia scramble to look like actual lovers. You slide closer to him, casually tossing an arm over his shoulders, and he—already flustered—just stiffens like he’s been caught in a trap.
“I see you two are enjoying each other’s company,” the male lead says, not even looking up from his spoon reflection. “I came to invite you to the tea party. You know, with all the nobles. The whole ‘Idia’s too traumatized to socialize’ excuse isn’t gonna fly anymore. It’s been three months.”
Idia’s eyes widen, and you can practically hear his soul leave his body. You give him a reassuring nudge.
“Don’t worry,” you whisper. “I’ll do all the talking. You just have to sit there, sip tea, maybe nibble on a pastry, and nod at Ortho. I’ve got the rest covered.”
Idia doesn’t look convinced, but he nods anyway. “Sure, sure, as long as I don’t have to, like, interact.”
The two of you arrive at the tea party, and the moment you step into the garden, you realize you're absolutely screwed. It’s not a tea party at all—it’s some weird medieval Olympics with archery targets set up, and a bunch of nobles are taking turns shooting arrows while their wives cheer them on.
“What… is this?” you whisper, horrified. “Why are there archery targets at a tea party? Is this... a misogyny power trip?”
Idia looks like he wants the ground to swallow him whole. He’s already backing away slowly, trying to make his great escape, but you grab him by the back of his cloak before he can bolt.
He shoots you a look like you’ve just committed the ultimate betrayal. “This... is not a tea party. You said tea and pastries. Where are the pastries?!”
“I didn’t know!” you hiss back. “I thought we’d just sip tea and gossip about whose cousin married whose horse!”
Before either of you can make another move, the heroine spots you and immediately latches onto your arm, dragging you to the tea table. At the same time, the male lead grabs Idia and hauls him over to the archery side.
"Wait—no—uh—" Idia stammers, but he’s already been thrown into the testosterone-fueled chaos of nobles trying to outdo each other.
Thinking fast, you impulsively declare, “I’ll be the one doing the archery! For my fiancé, of course. You know, because those thugs that kidnapped him? They had bows too!”
Idia, catching on, immediately puts on his best terrified expression. “Y-Yeah! Bows! I’m… I’m still traumatized! Please don’t make me relive it.”
The crowd collectively gasps, and you inwardly pat yourself on the back. Nailed it.
Somehow, despite knowing absolutely nothing about archery, you end up winning the whole thing. Turns out, none of the nobles have actually seen a bow before. You didn’t even hit the bullseye—you just got the arrow near the target, which was apparently enough to impress them.
The prize? A complex-looking mechanical device, something straight out of Idia’s dream workshop. You look at it, completely clueless, before handing it over to him.
“Uh, here. I have no idea what to do with this.”
Idia stares at the device, his eyes wide in disbelief. “You’re… giving it to me?” He looks touched but also suspicious. “You’re not gonna ask for some crazy favor in return?”
You shake your head. “Nah. It’s all yours. Consider it a thank-you for not leaving me to deal with this disaster alone.”
He blinks, clearly not used to receiving gifts without strings attached. “Well… uh, thanks. And… good job on the archery. You, uh, really sold the ‘traumatized fiancé’ bit.”
Before you can respond, the rest of the nobles start talking about "true love," and you can practically feel the heroine’s eyes boring holes into you. She’s fuming, glaring at the male lead—who, by the way, didn’t win—and looks like she’s about five seconds away from tearing out her hair.
You shoot her a smug grin, thoroughly enjoying her frustration. Idia, who’s been watching the whole thing with mild amusement, lightly bumps you with his elbow.
“Thanks for… you know, saving me from whatever that was. And for giving me this… thing,” he says, holding up the device.
“No problem,” you reply, smirking. “I think we’re pulling off this whole ‘smitten lovers’ thing pretty well.”
Idia snorts, trying to suppress a smile. “Yeah, well, if you keep dragging me to ‘tea parties’ like this, we’re gonna need to come up with a better plan. Preferably one where I don’t have to socialize with archery-obsessed nobles.”
“Deal,” you laugh. "Next time, I'll find a real tea party."
"Please don't."
You’re lounging on a comfy chair, lazily chatting with Ortho, who’s happily explaining some new contraption he and Idia worked on. You’re half-listening, more focused on sipping tea and enjoying the rare moment of peace in this chaotic castle.
That is, until Idia suddenly appears in front of you, looking unusually determined. He stands there, awkwardly shifting his weight, before thrusting his hand out in front of you.
Without thinking, you blink up at him and, in your confusion, place your chin on his outstretched palm. You give him a questioning look, waiting for further instruction.
Idia’s face immediately flushes a deep red. “W-What are you doing?! That’s not—I didn’t—gah!”
Ortho’s trying not to laugh, but it’s clear he’s barely holding it together.
“What?” you ask innocently. “You held out your hand, so I thought…”
Idia runs a hand through his hair, clearly flustered, before spluttering, “I—no, I was asking for your gun!”
“Oh. Right.” Without hesitation, you hand him the trusty weapon you always keep on hand, because at this point, you’ve learned to never question what Idia needs. It’s always better that way.
“Thanks,” he mutters, grabbing it like he’s on a mission and rushing off to whatever secret lair he retreats to.
You glance at Ortho, who’s giggling to himself. “Do you think I should be worried about that?”
“Nah,” Ortho says with a cheerful shrug. “He’s probably just making modifications. He’ll be fine!”
The next day, your luck runs out. Just when you were hoping for another peaceful afternoon, the heroine arrives for a surprise visit, dragging along her little posse of noble followers. You’re seated in a stiff parlor chair, forced to endure the barrage of small talk and fake smiles, feeling as if the universe is punishing you for all the nonsense you wrote in that novel.
One of the heroine’s cronies leans in with a sickeningly sweet voice, “Oh my, Lady Heroine, I just love your new gown. You look positively radiant. Unlike some people who seem to… dress for comfort, I suppose.”
You shoot her a withering glare, but it’s hard to focus when the heroine herself joins in, adding with a falsely sympathetic tone, “It must be so difficult for you, pretending to fit into high society. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be, keeping up appearances.”
You’re just about to snap back when, suddenly, the door bursts open. In comes Idia, holding your gun, looking both determined and completely out of his element. For a brief, terrifying moment, you wonder what kind of chaos he’s about to unleash.
Before you can ask, he walks straight over to you and hands it to you, his expression serious. “Here. I finished the modifications.”
Your jaw drops as Idia starts rattling off a list of improvements. “So, I increased the firepower by 30%, added a cooling mechanism so it doesn’t overheat, and now it’s got an auto-targeting system that can scan multiple threats at once. Oh, and I swapped the trigger to be more responsive, so you won’t have any lag—”
You can’t help but notice how animated he looks. His usual deadpan expression is replaced by a lively spark in his eyes as he talks about all the intricate details. He’s completely in his element, and you find yourself enchanted by the way he speaks. It’s rare to see him so passionate, so alive.
The moment is shattered when he finally notices the others in the room. His face drains of color, and he gives a forced smile that screams I don't want to be here. Without another word, he turns on his heel and flees the room. But you notice something strange—he had been holding your hand the entire time. His grip, tight and warm, leaves a lingering sensation even after he’s gone.
You’re left holding your newly modified gun, your face heating up as you process what just happened. The heroine's entourage are all staring at you with wide eyes, as if they’ve just witnessed the most romantic moment of the century. Even the butler, who’s usually the epitome of professionalism, is grinning like he’s just uncovered the secret to eternal happiness. The maids nearby are giggling behind their hands, clearly entertained.
You glance down at the gun, then back to where Idia disappeared. Great, you think to yourself. How am I supposed to survive this?
As if reading your mind, the heroine gives you a smug smile. “It seems your fiancé is quite… attached. How charming.”
You roll your eyes, trying to ignore the sudden rush of blood to your cheeks. “Yeah, he’s a real romantic,” you mutter sarcastically.
But even as you try to brush it off, your thoughts keep returning to that sparkle in Idia’s eyes, the way he had held your hand, and the way his enthusiasm had made your heart skip a beat. Maybe this royal con is going to be more complicated than you expected… but also, maybe not as bad as you feared.
Dragging Idia to get fitted for the imperial ball is like trying to drag a cat into a bathtub. He’s actively resisting, feet planted as you haul him toward the tailor with all the enthusiasm of a man being led to the gallows.
“Why do you keep doing this to me?” he groans, leaning back so far you think he might just throw himself on the floor in protest. “An angel loses its wings every time you make me do this. Do you want heaven to be wingless? Is that what you want? To singlehandedly destroy heaven?”
“I’m aiming to open a black market for wings, yes,” you say, deadpan, yanking him forward. “The profits will be incredible.”
“You’re a menace,” he mutters, shuffling along behind you, still resisting like a particularly stubborn mule. “Just put me in a broom closet with a bag of chips and leave me there. I don’t need to go to this ball. No one wants to see me.”
“I do,” you quip. “I’m dragging you into society, one unwilling step at a time.”
By the time you actually manage to get him dressed, you feel like you’ve aged five years. But when you take a step back to admire the result, it’s worth it. Idia looks stunning, even if he’s fidgeting like his clothes are secretly made of fire ants. He’s basically the human version of a rare collectible: usually hidden away, but absolutely jaw-dropping when you finally get to see him.
“Alright, Prince Drama,” you say, exhaling, “I’m going to get dressed. Try not to set anything on fire while I’m gone.”
When you return, you immediately notice something’s up. Ortho’s whispering something to Idia, and whatever it is, it’s causing a nuclear-level blush to spread across his face. He’s stiff as a board, and when he turns around and sees you in your ball attire, he goes straight from “mildly panicked” to “catastrophic system error.”
Without warning, he chucks a flower at you. Just full-on throws it like it’s a projectile weapon.
“Here,” he croaks out, his voice cracking halfway through.
You blink, catching the flower mid-air with one hand. “Uh, thanks? Were you... trying to plant this on me?”
Idia’s face somehow manages to get even redder. “No—I mean yes—I mean—” He looks around for help, but Ortho just gives him an unhelpful thumbs up from the corner.
You grin, deciding to help the poor guy out. “Why don’t you pin it in my hair instead?”
His hands shake as he fumbles with the pin, and you’re pretty sure he’s using every ounce of self-control not to stab you in the scalp. You bite your lip, trying not to laugh, but the whole situation is just too funny. Especially when Ortho gives you a conspiratorial wink from behind Idia’s back like he’s this close to winning a bet.
The ball itself is, as expected, a social hellscape. You and Idia survive by sticking together like conjoined twins, fending off the waves of nosy nobles and fake smiles. You can practically see the stress radiating off of Idia, his expression one of pure misery.
And then, the king makes his grand address, signaling the start of the first dance. You feel Idia stiffen beside you.
“Oh no,” he mutters, “Oh no. This is where it all goes downhill. I’ll trip, I’ll break my leg, and then they’ll throw me in the royal dungeon for embarrassing the family.”
“Relax,” you say, squeezing his hand. “It’s just one dance. I’ll lead, you follow. Easy.”
“I hate this,” he mumbles as you drag him onto the floor. “I hate everything about this. I should have just set myself on fire and gotten out of it that way.”
But despite his protests, you manage to lead him through the first few steps of the waltz. To your surprise, he’s not completely hopeless. He stumbles a little at first, but with you guiding him, he starts to get the hang of it.
“You’re doing great,” you say encouragingly.
“Stop lying,” he grumbles. “I’m one misstep away from taking us both out like a bowling ball hitting pins.”
The music continues, and with every turn and spin, you notice the room around you fading into the background. For a moment, it’s just you and Idia, navigating the intricate steps of the dance together. He’s still anxious, but he’s keeping up, and more importantly, you can tell he’s starting to trust you. He’s letting you take the lead, and for someone like Idia, that’s huge.
From Idia’s perspective, this entire ball is a waking nightmare. He’s completely out of his element, surrounded by people he’d normally go to great lengths to avoid. But then there’s you. You’re handling everything with this... ease, this grace that he can’t even begin to comprehend. You’re not just dancing with him, you’re actively navigating the minefield of court politics like it’s no big deal.
And you don’t need to do this. This isn’t your problem—it’s Ortho’s succession, not yours. But you’re here, by his side, going all out to make sure Ortho’s future is secure. Idia’s heart twists in his chest. He doesn’t get it. You’re way too cool for this. Too cool for him. You wink at him mid-spin, and he feels like his brain’s short-circuiting.
"Oh no. I like them. Like, really like them. And soon, they’ll be gone. This whole engagement is just for show. After Ortho’s investiture, we’ll go back to our separate lives, right?"
He swallows hard, trying not to freak out, but it’s too late. He’s in way too deep.
After the dance, you lead him off the floor and start mingling with the other nobles, making alliances and doing your whole “political mastermind” thing. Idia stands awkwardly to the side, trying to blend into the wallpaper, but his eyes keep following you. You don’t have to do all this for Ortho, but you are. And that’s... that’s really cool. He admires you, he can’t help it.
And then—oh no. The lower nobles. They spot him and beeline toward him like sharks smelling blood. Before he can make a break for it, they swarm around him, throwing party invitations at him like confetti.
“Prince Idia, you simply must attend our garden soirée next week,” one of them gushes, eyes sparkling.
“And our evening gala!” another pipes up. “You’ll be the guest of honor, of course!”
Idia’s face goes pale, and he shoots you a look that screams, HELP ME.
You swoop in like a knight in shining armor. “Ah, yes, well, unfortunately, Idia can’t attend. He’s... uh... allergic to sunlight.”
The nobles stare at you, blinking in confusion. Idia stares at you too, his expression a mix of disbelief and amusement.
“Allergic to... sunlight?” one noble repeats, frowning.
You facepalm. Smooth. “I mean... it’s a joke! Ha! Obviously! What I meant to say is... uh...” You scramble for an excuse. “I need a nap.”
There’s a beat of silence.
“I—uh—can’t sleep without him,” you blurt out. “It’s, uh, a couple thing.”
The nobles blink at you again, thoroughly bewildered.
You grab Idia’s arm, muttering, “We’re leaving,” and make a quick exit, practically dragging him behind you.
As soon as you’re out of earshot, you let out a groan. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I said that. ‘Allergic to sunlight’? Really?”
Idia is doubled over laughing, completely losing it. “You what?!” he howls. “You need a nap? And you can’t sleep without me?!”
“Shut up!” you say, cheeks burning. “I was trying to save you!”
“You saved me? More like doomed me!” He wheezes between laughs, clutching his stomach. “Oh man, you are terrible at this. You make me look good, and that’s saying something.”
You glare at him, but his laughter is so infectious that you can’t stay mad. And honestly? He looks free. Unbridled, even. It’s the first time you’ve seen him laugh so openly, so without reservation, that it almost makes you forget how embarrassing the situation was.
Almost.
It's finally time for Ortho's investiture, and to say you feel unprepared would be an understatement. Not for any political reason—you've long since mastered the art of navigating court intrigue. No, the issue is far more personal, far more heart-wrenching. After today, once Ortho is declared Crown Prince, Idia will no longer have any excuse to stay in the spotlight. He'll retreat, back into the shadows, probably even fake his own kidnapping to get out of any future public events. And you?
You'll finally get that peaceful beach house you’ve been dreaming about.
But the thought doesn’t feel like a reward. It feels bitter. You don’t want that beach house—not if it means losing Idia. The man who’s wormed his way into your heart with his sarcasm, awkwardness, and hidden kindness.
But you know he’s not someone you can tie down. Idia doesn’t do well with permanence. And as much as your heart begged to hold on to him, you also know he’d likely slip through your fingers if you tried.
So you do what any self-respecting person would in this situation: put on a brave face, slip into your formal attire, and prepare to smile your way through heartbreak.
When you walk out to greet Idia, he’s already dressed in his formal robes, looking every bit the reluctant royal. His eyes widen slightly when he sees you, but he says nothing, fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve.
You muster up the strength to smile and reach for his hand. “Ready?”
He nods, but neither of you can meet the other’s eyes.
From Idia’s perspective, today should feel like a victory. He’s been planning for Ortho’s investiture for months, and now that the day is finally here, he should be feeling nothing but relief. But no—he’s filled with an overwhelming sense of dread. It’s not about Ortho. His little brother is brilliant, and Idia knows the kingdom is in good hands.
No, what he’s not ready for is letting you go.
If someone had told him a year ago that he would care about someone—want someone—so desperately, he would’ve locked them up in a mental facility. But here he is, standing on the precipice of his worst nightmare.
You, who shine in every public setting, who effortlessly charm everyone around you, are going to move on. He knows he can’t tie you down with his reclusive lifestyle, his constant desire to escape from the world. How could he? You’re everything he’s not—bright, resplendent, beloved. He can’t ask you to give up your life for him.
But when you come out and take his hand, his heart skips a beat. Neither of you are able to look each other in the eye, but the gesture says more than any words could.
The investiture itself goes off without a hitch. Ortho’s speech is flawless, full of the hope and wisdom of a ruler who will no doubt lead the kingdom into a golden age. You’re so proud of him—of the boy who’s become like a little brother to you.
But even as you smile and clap with the rest of the court, you feel a heaviness in your chest that has nothing to do with the political spectacle unfolding before you.
A few tears slip down your cheeks, and you don’t even know if they’re from the overwhelming pride you feel for Ortho or the quiet heartbreak you’ve been trying to suppress all day.
Before you can wipe them away, Idia silently hands you his handkerchief. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even look at you, and that just makes the ache in your heart a little worse.
You take it with a quiet, “Thanks,” dabbing at your eyes, and you both stand there in tense silence, watching as the formalities continue around you.
Once the investiture concludes and the guests filter out, you and Idia retreat to a balcony to catch your breath. The sky is darkening, and the cool evening breeze does little to soothe the heaviness you feel in the pit of your stomach.
Idia breaks the silence first. "I've, uh... already arranged the beach house. It’s in your name now."
You blink, looking over at him. His voice cracks slightly, and when you finally turn to face him fully, you realize that he looks like the very picture of heartbreak. He’s not meeting your eyes, staring out into the distance as if it’ll keep him from falling apart.
You swallow hard, trying to keep your voice steady. “Idia... do you want me to leave?”
He freezes, still not looking at you. "I... I want you to be happy. I mean, that's the whole point, right? The beach house, everything—you’ve been wanting that for ages."
“I didn’t ask if you wanted me to be happy,” you say quietly. “I asked if you want me to stay or go.”
The silence between you stretches, heavy and suffocating. You hold your breath, waiting for him to answer. When he finally speaks, his voice is barely above a whisper.
“I... I don’t know what I’m gonna do if you’re not here anymore.”
That’s all the confirmation you need. Before he can say anything else, you step forward, cupping his face and pulling him into a kiss. For a split second, he stiffens, shocked, but then he melts into it, his arms wrapping around you like he’s afraid you might disappear if he lets go.
It’s everything you needed and more—sweet, desperate, and filled with all the words neither of you have been able to say. When you finally pull away, you rest your forehead against his, both of you breathing heavily.
“Come with me,” you whisper. “To the beach house. We can... we can figure everything out from there.”
Idia lets out a watery laugh, one that’s half-disbelief, half-relief. “You really want a shut-in like me hanging around your dream house? You’re gonna get sick of me in a week.”
You smile, brushing a strand of hair away from his face. “I don’t think I could ever get sick of you. So... what do you say?”
He hesitates for a moment, then gives a small nod, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “Yeah... okay. I’ll come with you.”
And just like that, the weight that’s been pressing down on your chest all day lifts. It’s not the end—it’s a new beginning. One where you and Idia don’t have to part ways, where you can move forward together.
As you both stand there on the balcony, holding each other close, the world feels a little less daunting, and the future a little brighter.
The grand hall is slowly emptying out, nobles drifting away after offering their congratulations to Ortho. You and Idia maneuver through the lingering crowd, dodging overly-friendly dukes and avoiding eye contact with barons hoping to extend the festivities.
Idia clings to your arm like a cat being dragged to the vet, mumbling, “Please tell me we’re not about to be emotionally ambushed again.”
You smirk. “Relax. It’s just Ortho.”
“Yeah, that’s what you always say before things get sentimental and I have to deal with ‘feelings.’”
You spot Ortho standing near the dais, still wearing the ceremonial robes from his investiture. Despite the long night, he looks bright-eyed, waving cheerfully at some departing courtiers. When he catches sight of you two, his face breaks into the biggest grin, and he hurries over like an eager puppy.
“There you are!” Ortho beams, practically glowing with excitement. “I was worried you left without saying goodbye.”
“Us? Leave without saying goodbye?” you tease. “What kind of villains do you think we are?”
“Exactly the kind who would sneak away in the middle of a banquet,” Idia mutters under his breath. “And you know what? That plan still sounds great.”
Ortho rolls his eyes fondly. “You’re impossible, brother.”
“Only when I’m awake.”
“Anyway,” you cut in, shooting Idia a playful glare before turning back to Ortho, “we wanted to talk to you before we go.”
Ortho’s smile falters, just a bit. “You’re leaving already?”
You nod, squeezing Idia’s arm. “Yeah. We’re heading to the beach house.”
Ortho tilts his head, curious but not upset. “You’re moving there?”
“For a while, yeah,” you explain gently. “Idia and I need a break from all the court politics. But don’t worry. We’ll visit you. Often.”
Idia shifts beside you, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah, uh... It’s not like I’m leaving forever or anything. Just... you know, temporarily escaping society.”
Ortho laughs, but there’s a softness in his gaze now. “I get it. I don’t blame you for wanting to leave all this behind for a bit.”
You take a step closer, voice lowering. “And hey... I know you’ve got a lot on your plate now. But we’re still family. If you need anything—anything—we’ll be here for you.”
Ortho’s grin returns, full force. “I know. I’m really glad you two have each other. Honestly, I was worried for a long time that Idia might never find someone willing to put up with him.”
“Gee, thanks,” Idia deadpans. “Glad my personal development arc has been so inspiring for you.”
“But seriously,” Ortho says, his expression softening again. “Thank you. You’ve done more for us than you had to. I know you could have just... gone back to your world or left things as they were. But you stayed. And you helped him.”
Oh no. Not this again. That suspicious prickle starts in your eyes, and you blink rapidly to fend off the tears. Not now. Not in public.
“You’re not... making me cry,” you insist, even as your voice wobbles. “This is just... allergy season.”
“Oh no, it’s happening,” Idia groans dramatically, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Please don’t cry. If you cry, Ortho’s gonna cry, and if Ortho cries, the nobles will definitely blame me.”
“Shut up, you big baby,” you sniffle, swatting his arm before pulling Ortho into a hug. “Come here, you. Group hug, now.”
Ortho barely has time to react before you’ve wrapped him up in your arms. He laughs, squeezing you back. You reach out blindly and grab Idia’s sleeve, yanking him into the fray.
“Wait—wait, what��!” Idia stumbles forward, sandwiched awkwardly between you and Ortho. “This is... I don’t...”
“Shhh,” you whisper, patting his back. “Feel the love.”
“This is emotional ambush!” Idia protests, voice muffled against your shoulder. “I want it on record that I was forced into this.”
“Noted,” Ortho says with a laugh, hugging both of you tighter. “But you’re not getting out of it.”
For a moment, the three of you just stand there, huddled together in a ridiculous knot of limbs, nobles glancing your way but tactfully avoiding comment.
Idia mutters into your ear, “This... this is basically treason against introverts.”
You grin. “Consider it penance for being emotionally stunted.”
“You’re both the worst,” he grumbles, but his arms stay wrapped around you.
Eventually, you pull back, wiping your eyes with the heel of your hand. “We’ll be back soon, Ortho. I promise.”
“I know.” Ortho smiles warmly, giving you one last squeeze. “And when you do, I’ll make sure you never have to attend another dull court event again.”
Idia perks up at that. “Oh. Now that’s what I call incentive.”
With one last shared laugh, the three of you break apart. Ortho steps back, standing tall and proud in his new role, though his smile still holds all the warmth of a little brother seeing his family off.
“Take care of him,” Ortho says quietly, glancing meaningfully at you.
“I plan to,” you reply, meeting his gaze with a small, reassuring smile.
“And you,” Ortho adds, looking at Idia. “Don’t screw this up.”
Idia gapes, indignant. “I—why does everyone assume I’m the one who’s going to screw it up?!”
You and Ortho exchange amused glances before both of you answer in perfect unison:
“Because you will.”
Idia groans. “Yeah, okay. Fair.”
With that, you bid Ortho one final goodbye, tugging Idia along before anyone else can rope you into small talk. As you leave the grand hall and step out into the cool night air, the weight on your shoulders feels a little lighter.
Idia sighs in relief. “Well, that’s over. Time to hibernate for the next decade.”
You chuckle, lacing your fingers through his. “Hibernation in the beach house?”
“Hell yeah.”
And with that, the two of you set off into the night, leaving the court behind—for now.
Oh, what happened to the heroine and the male lead, you ask? Let’s rewind a few months before Ortho’s investiture—back when they were still blissfully unaware of the elaborate downfall that awaited them.
You knew that the heroine and the male lead would try to make a spectacle of themselves during Ortho’s rise to power. The way they pranced around, flaunting their superficial charm and good looks like they owned the place—it was insufferable. And, of course, they were always scheming in the background, hoping to secure power and glory for themselves. You couldn’t stand it.
So, you set up the perfect trap.
It began at a lavish gala, one of those unnecessarily extravagant events where nobles gathered to network, gossip, and throw subtle insults at each other. You arrived fashionably late, as any proper duchess would, with Idia reluctantly in tow, mumbling under his breath about how every social event felt like “one of those long quests with zero rewards.”
“The rewards are emotional, Idia,” you whisper, linking arms with him.
“Yeah, emotional damage,” he mutters.
You suppress a smile, but your mind is elsewhere. Tonight is the night. You had planted the seeds weeks ago, a few well-placed rumors, some whispered insinuations, and a letter you’d accidentally left behind in a well-trafficked corridor. It was all coming together like a beautifully chaotic symphony, and now, the climax.
You spot the heroine first, her radiant smile masking the venom beneath. She’s making a grand entrance, arm-in-arm with the male lead, who, as always, looks like he’s stepped straight out of a romance novel. His hair is perfect, his jawline sharp enough to cut through glass. But you know better. They’re both so predictable.
“They’ve arrived,” you murmur to Idia.
He gives you a blank stare. “Yeah, cool, I’m just here to not die of social exhaustion. Whatever you’re planning... don’t tell me. I don’t wanna be involved.”
“Suit yourself,” you reply with a grin.
You watch them mingle, waiting for the right moment. And there it is—the heroine, attempting to cozy up to the king, laughing a little too loudly at one of his mediocre jokes. You slip through the crowd, making your way to where a certain nosy noblewoman is holding court. A noblewoman known for her love of gossip and her even greater love of ruining people’s lives with it.
Perfect.
You lean in, feigning concern. “Oh, My Lady... I probably shouldn’t say this, but I heard the strangest thing about the heroine. You won’t believe it.”
Her eyes gleam with curiosity. “Do tell, my dear.”
“Well,” you drop your voice to a whisper, “there’s talk that the heroine and the male lead are involved in some... unsavory business dealings. Something about embezzling funds from the royal coffers for their own gain? I don’t know how true it is, of course... but it would explain some things, wouldn’t it?”
You leave the rest unsaid, letting her imagination do the rest. The best part? It’s all technically true. You had orchestrated it so well, the heroine and the male lead had no idea that their “private” meetings and “innocent” financial maneuvers were anything but secret.
She gasps, her fan snapping shut. “I knew there was something off about them! Oh, the gall! I must inform the king immediately!”
And just like that, the gossip spreads like wildfire. Within minutes, the entire room is buzzing with scandalous whispers. The heroine and the male lead notice the shift, the way people start looking at them, and for the first time, they’re on the back foot. They try to smile, but their unease is palpable.
You sit back, watching the chaos unfold, sipping your wine as nobles begin to distance themselves from the pair, shooting them suspicious glances.
Idia sidles up next to you, looking around at the suddenly tense atmosphere. “What... what did you do?”
“Who, me?” You bat your eyelashes innocently. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
He gives you a side-eye. “You’re terrifying.”
“You knew that when you asked me to be your fake fiancée.”
The next day, official inquiries are launched into the heroine and the male lead’s finances, and though they try to clear their names, it’s no use. The damage is done. Their reputations are ruined beyond repair, and they’re forced to withdraw from court life entirely. A fitting end for their ambitions.
Which brings you to the present...
It’s a peaceful morning in your beach house, and you’re sitting on the veranda, enjoying your coffee while the sun rises over the horizon. The sound of waves crashing against the shore is your only company, and for once, there’s no looming political intrigue or royal drama to worry about.
That is, until Idia stumbles out of the bedroom, his hair a messy blue cloud, his eyes half-closed with sleep. He groans as he sees you, one hand on the wall to steady himself. “Why are you up so early? It’s like... the middle of the night.”
“It’s 10 AM,” you reply with a laugh.
“Exactly,” he grumbles, shuffling over to you. Without another word, he flops down beside you, his head immediately finding its way to your neck. He nuzzles into you, muttering something unintelligible, and you chuckle softly, patting him on the cheek.
“You’re such a big baby in the morning,” you tease, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead.
Despite being married for the past two years, Idia’s face turns tomato-red every time you do something affectionate. He blushes furiously now, burying his face in the crook of your neck to hide it.
“Y-You’re unfair,” he mumbles, voice muffled. “Saying stuff like that... it’s embarrassing.”
You grin. “But you’re so cute.”
“I’m not cute. I’m a grown man. And you’re a villain for making me get up before noon.”
You laugh, running your fingers through his messy hair. “Maybe, but I’m your villain. So deal with it.”
Idia groans dramatically but makes no effort to move away, too comfortable where he is. You continue sipping your coffee, enjoying the moment of peace, when he finally speaks again, a little softer this time.
“Y’know... you really did a number on the heroine and the male lead. They’re still laying low, huh?”
“Maybe the rumor I spread was truly a masterpiece,” you say with a smirk, remembering how perfectly everything had gone according to plan.
Idia snorts. “A masterpiece of destruction, maybe.”
You chuckle, pressing another kiss to his forehead. He sighs contentedly, the two of you basking in the quiet comfort of your shared life. It’s moments like this that remind you just how far you’ve come together, from court intrigue and scandal to peaceful mornings at your beach house.
And honestly? You wouldn’t have it any other way.
Series Masterlist ; Masterlist
For the next part,
#twst x reader#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#idia x reader#idia shroud x reader#idia shroud x you#idia shroud#idia#idia x you#trash novel chronicles
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Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant
Listen. It was an accident. He didn't mean to! It just kinda happened.
So maybe he brought a drink with enough caffeine in it to kill an elephant within a few minutes, and maybe he forgot to put the sleeve on his cup so he could tell it apart from the others, but it's not his fault! He didn't think anyone else was going to have the exact same Yeti cup as him! It's not like he'd seen any of the others carry one before. Besides, he worked with superheros. They should be smart enough to check before drinking someone else's drink.
Danny had been summoned by the Justice League Dark a few years back in order to help with a world ending crisis and he just didn't leave. It's not like he could go anywhere anyway. His ghost half hadn't grown past fourteen and his human half had stopped visibly aging at eighteen. He'd had to leave town as Danny Fenton, but he'd stayed in Amity Park as Danny Phantom. When his parents died of old age, thank god, he'd closed down the portal, stuck around for a few more years, before traveling the world as Danny Fenton.
Anyway, he'd taken up residence in the House of Mysteries after the JLD had summoned him. Constantine, at first, had been wary, but he and the rest of the JLD had grown to accept him. He was an honorary member of the team.
At some point, just after Robin had become Red Robin, Danny had been introduced to the Justice League. He liked those guys, too, and worked with them sometimes. Though, he usually only went to bug them.
Red Robin had been very interested in the fact that his was fourteen and working with grown heros, like he was one to talk, but Danny hadn't explained anything other than saying that he had died and come back. The following conversation was an interesting one that lead to Danny knowing that Nightwing was the Batman he'd met and that Batman was lost somewhere. He'd confirmed that the man was not dead, but he hadn't offered to help look for him. He probably should have, in retrospect.
Back on topic! Everyone in the JLD knew not to touch Danny's drink. They'd all seen him make it before and had been horrified on varying degrees. It's not like it could kill him. He's already half dead! So long as he only drank this specific brew as Phantom, he'd be fine.
The Justice League, apparently, didn't get the memo. He blames Constantine because Zatanna and Raven can do no wrong. No, John, he's not biased.
The point is, Red Robin just had a sip of Danny's drink. The horror he now felt was akin to the fear he held when he'd told his parents he was Phantom. (An interaction that had gone very well, thank you very much.)
Danny knew the exact moment that the vigilante realized he grabbed the wrong drink. His eyes widened to an astonishing degree, and, if he'd been able to seen his eyes behind the mask, Danny knew that the man's pupils would've completely overtaken the irises. His hands started shaking, too. Oh, no. The man's already addicted to hellish amounts of coffee. This is only going to make it worse!
Quickly, and without drawing any attention, thank the Ancients, Danny rushed over. "You, um, you okay, man?" Obviously not, but he tends to talk when he's anxious and he was certainly anxious right now. He could've possibly just killed a man via poison!
"What the fuck is in this coffee?" Red Robin asked, going to take another sip.
Danny pulled the Yeti from his hand and gave him the proper one. "Enough caffeine to kill an elephant."
"Obviously not, seeing as I'm still alive."
"Yeah, I can't tell if that's a good thing or not."
"Excuse me?"
"I-I mean-! I didn't-! You know what I mean." Caffeine is poisonous in excess, and his drink was way beyond excess, but it's the only thing that works for him as a ghost! Superpowered metabolism and all that.
"Do I?" The laugh in his voice answered for him. He took a sip from his drink and frowned at it. "I don't think any coffee will ever be enough again."
"And that's my cue to get my drink very far away from you." Danny turned, fully intent on moving to the other side of the room. Besides, the meeting was going to start as soon as the Flash and Kid Flash arrived, which would be soon. Something about one of their Rouges getting out?
"What?" Red Robin asked, "Why?" If he was a little desperate to get another sip of that coffee, he'd rather not acknowledge it.
"Because you don't need anymore lethal coffee," he muttered, "The sip you took will already keep you awake for three days at least, and it probably jump started an addiction. Best to stop it now. Besides, I need to go have my crisis on how the hell you're still alive after even a sip of this stuff."
"Again, rude." The bird themed vigilante crossed his arms as best he could while holding his cup. "If it's so dangerous, why do you drink it?"
Danny took a deliberate sip as he locked eyes with the technically younger man. "I'm dead. I don't need to worry about my heart stopping or having a seizure."
"Excuses."
"No, it's not 'excuses'. I'm saving your life."
"You're a kid. If I can't have that coffee, then you shouldn't be having it."
"First, I'm older than you. Second, I already told you: I'm dead. This isn't going to hurt me. Third, you can't tell me what to do."
"There's no way you're older than me. You're like, ten."
"I'm thirty-eight!" He balked, "I only look fourteen because I died when I was fourteen. We've been over this."
Neither noticed the entire Justice League looking at them. The two they were waiting on had arrived a few minutes ago and everyone was ready to start the meeting, but they'd been distracted by the two's conversation. Was that true? Had Phantom really died so young? They'd all been made aware he was not living, but they didn't think he'd died so young! Though, that was probably the denial speaking.
The Justice League Dark had been fully aware of this and didn't really bat an eye. Though, someone should probably get this meeting started. A potentially world ending threat was the topic, and that was a pretty important thing to discuss.
Captain Marvel was the first to pull himself together, though that was only after Atlas and Zeus had mentally slapped him out of his stupur. "As, ah, riveting as this conversation is," he stepped between the two boys- er, boy and man? "we really need to start this meeting."
Batman did not clear his throat because he'd not lost his voice in the first place. "He's right. Everyone take your seats."
Storyboard Part 2
#I wrote this instead of working on any of my current wips#dc x dp#justice league#justice league dark#red robin#danny phantom#writing prompt#brain child#no ships#should I continue this?#I've never written these characters (on my own) before but I've fallen down a rabbit hole and I felt the need to jump on the train#should I post other stories here?#would y'all be interested in seeing some of my other works?#I should actually link my ao3 here#I'll stop now#captain marvel#shazam#coffee#caffeine#justice league meeting#word ending threat#writing#fanfic#fandom#phandom#dcxdp#Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant
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Jace Velaryon*Frat Baby
Pairing: Jace x pregnant!f!reader
Word count: 1688
Warnings: rivalry, accidental pregnancy, enemies to lovers
Masterlist Here
Part One Here
Jace had went from being your sworn childhood enemy to fuck buddy to now the most awkward conversation of your life. You had been avoiding completely for the past month as you debated what to do so when Jace got the ‘we need to talk’ text he made sure he was free the next day for lunch. You were sat in a café across from campus, anxiously sipping on the caffeine-free tea Sansa had insisted you switch to instead of your regular coffee.
You wondered if the hole in your stomach was morning sickness or nerves but you just crossed your fingers and hoped for the best as you waited. Jace walked in, dressed like a burst bag of clothes, and anxiously scanned the room before rushing to your table. “You’re late,”
“Class ran over. have you ordered?” he said making you roll your eyes at his lack of apology as he ordered from the very perky waitress you were for some unknown reason suddenly jealous of. after he ordered, even ordering you your favourite sandwich which you were shocked he knew, he turned his attention back to you, “So what’s ‘Defcon one’?” he asked, quoting your text.
You took a deep breath as you debated how to say it before suddenly the words tumbled out, “I’m late,”
“I thought you didn’t have class today?” Jace asked, tilting his head like a confused puppy making you face palm. A few beats of silence passed before Jace said a quiet oh, followed by a louder oh, followed by a “oh fuck,” followed by one more quiet oh.
“You good?”
“I mean sure. Are you?” he asked, sitting up suddenly and leaning over the table and dropping his voice, “Does it like hurt?”
You stared at this frat boy for a solid three seconds before rolling your eyes, “I’m pregnant not dying!”
“I thought it hurt, okay?”
“It hurts later on,”
“How am I supposed to know that?”
“Highschool biology!”
“I ditched that week!”
“Yeah, to fuck Sara Snow!” the waitress who brought your food offer gave an awkward smile making you both sigh and drop your voice. “Look I get this isn’t what we planned for but,” you paused for a second before finally saying the words out loud, “I wanna keep it, him, her, them I don’t know. but either way I totally do not expect you do be involved and I wont even tell your mom but I- “
“Eh!” Jace cut you off, his eyes widening as his shoulders tensed, “No! you don’t get to just toss me aside during this,”
“I’m not tossing you aside- “
“Yes, you are! It’s my kid!”
“It’s a clump of cells,”
“My god damn cells. Half of them belong to me,”
“What you want me to stick em on a petri dish?” you spat out, “Look I’m just trying to give you an out,”
“Who said I wanted an out?”
“You wanna raise this baby?”
“Yes, I wanna raise *my* baby,”
“It’s my baby,”
“Our baby!” Jace said before sighing, “Look I’m not going anywhere and don’t for a second think I’m gonna leave my kid behind thinking I’m a dead beat. No this is what’s gonna happen- “
“You are in no position to tell me what to do- “
“Shut up!” Jace snapped, “Honest to god shut up and listen to me okay cause I am freaked the fuck out right now but I am not gonna abandon you,” he said and you weren’t sure if it was the foetus getting to your brain but it was the sweetest way he’d ever told you to shut up which would normally be met with a rude slap, “We are gonna do this together. I’m gonna get a part time job at my family’s firm. We’re gonna save like hell and then by the time our last year rolls around the baby will be like what? 3 months?”
“Two,” you said as you let Jace recover from his spiral.
“Right two. We’re gonna get a flat off campus and we’ll just have to pick our classes at the same time to make sure we can do it, okay?” he said but the way his eyes were strained made you wonder if he was genuinely asking for reassurance.
“We got this,” you said, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand, “We’ll figure it out,”
Jace let out a heavy sigh of relief as he sunk into his chair and picked up his sandwich, “Okay good. Now eat up. And we’re getting dessert too. You’re eating for two,”
-
Shockingly Jace had been sweet this whole time. each day he dropped off snacks or random baby things he’d found at your dorm. This ranged from dummies to blankets to a fucking crib catalogue. When summer break came you were pregnant, terrified, and explaining to both your parents and Jace’s about the whole situation.
They were unpredictably happy. That was till you told them you weren’t a couple and your mums both deflated a little but eventually they got back with the programme. You expected Jace to lap up his final child free summer out partying but instead he took day trips with you to the beach, went out baby shopping with you, and would just sit in with you watching movies and eating ice cream. You wondered if he was trying to make you gain 100 sizes by the end of this pregnancy with the amount of junk food, he got you. he’d even drive over at 2am with whatever weird pregnancy craving you had.
The giving birth part was the terrifying bit. But Jace held your hand through every push. “Just one more,” the midwife told you as you began to break Jace’s hand with your grip but finally you heard the cries and let your head fall back into the pillow as you panted, “It’s a girl!”
“We have a daughter,” Jace grinned, a wide dopey smile on his face. His head turned to face you and soon you broke out in your own smile as they cleaned your baby up. You saw his head begin to dip but this kiss was far different from any other.
It was sweet and tender and life altering even if it lasted a second before the woman brought your daughter over and placed her on your chest, “Hi baby,” you cooed at her.
Jace leant over to get a better view, “She’s so pretty,” he whispered, “just like you,” he added as he kissed the top of your head, not even poking fun at the sweaty state of it.
-
Jace moved into the guest room at your house for the first week of your daughter's life but soon he ended up in your room. He said it was for convenience but that didn’t explain why he held you in his arms. As you began to unpack your things in your new flat as your baby slept you turned to Jace, “What are we?” you asked as he unpacked the plates.
He rolled his eyes at you as he put them in the cupboard, “My girlfriend you idiot,”
“You never asked,” you shot back, hand on hip.
He turned to you with his cockiest face possible, “Sorry I thought between the sex, cuddling, and baby we just had you would’ve caught on,”
“Uhuh,” you rolled your eyes as he turned away from you to continue unpacking but you walked up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning your cheek against his back, “Ask me,”
You could hear him chuckle before he turned around, taking your face in his hands, “Will you be my girlfriend?”
You grinned before putting on your best thinking face, “I suppose I could be,”
“You suppose,” he rolled his eyes, but he was smiling as he lent in to kiss you only to be rudely interrupted by a loud knocking at the door. “I’m gonna kill him,” Jace groaned as he ran to the door to stop the noise, so the baby didn’t wake.
“What up bro?” Cregan whisper shouted as he hurled into your flat, “Where’s the baby?”
“She’s in the nursery sleeping,” Jace said, slapping him in the stomach as he mentioned the sleep.
Cregan rolled his eyes as he passed Jace and walked up to you with an overflowing gift bag, “Consider this a baby-welcome home-nice to meet you properly gift,” he said as he handed you the bag.
You laughed as you began to empty the contents onto the bunker to find university baby sized hoodies, t shirts, hats, and even a scarf. Of course, digging further in you found a soccer jersey, baby sized of course, rattles, and then your hand settled on a box. “Condoms?” you asked, holding the box in the air.
“Hey!” Cregan defended, hands in the air, “She’s cute and all but I’m not ready to be a double uncle. They’ll overtake me when I babysit,”
You and Jace turned to each other before looking back at him, eyes narrowing with concern, “Who said you were babysitting?” Jace asked.
Cregan just rolled his eyes as he began to wander and look for the nursery, “Bitch please she needs me. I’m the fun uncle,”
“You’re not her uncle?” you said as he reached the pink painted nursery door.
Cregan span round, hand on heart and hurt in his eyes, “Not cool man. She’s not just your guy’s baby. She’s basically the frat baby,”
You debated arguing more but watching Cregan, a built like a truck manly man, fawn over a baby no bigger than a doll was too cute to interfere with. You weren’t sure how you survived university with a baby and a Jace btu somehow with a lot of help from Cregan and Sansa who had become expert babysitters by now you managed. Some day you would have to explain to your daughter her parents were sworn enemies but not today. No today your daughter was three years old and teaching Jace to do Taylor Swift choreography with her so they could surprise you.
Taglist: @clairacassidy @valeskafics @starkleila @jacesvelaryons
@aleemendoza2425-blog @happinessinthebeing @bellstwd
#house of the dragon#house of the dragon imagine#house of the dragon headcannons#hotd#hotd headcanon#hotd imagine#hotd jace#jace velaryon#jace velaryon imagine#jace velaryon x reader#Jacaerys Velaryon#jacaerys velaryon imagine#jacaerys velaryon x reader#modern jace velaryon#modern jace hotd#modern Jacaerys Velaryon#frat boy jace velaryon#jace velaryon smut#modern jacaerys velaryon headcannons#jacerys x reader#jacerys velaryon#jacerys valeryon x reader#jacaerys velaryon headcannons#jacaerys velaryon smut
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Fun With Friends || Larry Johnson || Sal Fisher
Synopsis - A game of truth or dare turns into something more with your best friends Sal Fisher and Larry Johnson. {NOT a Sal x Larry fic!}
Warnings - NSFW.
Notes - Characters are aged 18+!
Word Count - 5k.
{Caffeinate Me}
You were sitting in Larry’s bedroom in the basement flat of Addison Apartments with both Larry and Sal. The three of you were smoking, drinking and generally just having a good time. It was four in the morning and there was no sign of anybody going to sleep when Larry piped up, “let’s play truth or dare.”
You rolled your eyes at him playfully. It was such a childish game and yet, you couldn’t help but say yes to him. Sal looked to Larry in confusion and asked, “how do you play?”
“You’ve never played truth or dare?” Larry asked, watching as Sal shook his head while he tightened the loosening prosthetic to his face. You sighed to yourself at this movement. You wish Sal felt more comfortable around you to remove his prosthetic after all, you’d been friends for years. However you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by bringing up the subject. Larry went on to explain the game to Sal, “it’s simple, really. We each ask each other, ‘truth or dare’ and whichever one they pick, we give them! Y/N, let’s go first, show him how it’s done.”
“Alright,” you shrugged. “Larry, truth or dare.”
Larry thought for a moment, stroking the small hairs on his chin. “Erm, go on then. Give me a dare.”
Now it was your turn to think. You thought hard, looking around the room for potential dares when your eyes settled on the whisky bottle in front of you. You leaned over to Sal and whispered in his ear so Larry couldn’t hear. When Sal nodded, you pulled away and looked at Larry with a grin. “We dare you to drink that whisky, without stopping, for ten seconds.”
“That’s it?” Larry chuckled, grabbing the half-empty bottle of whisky from the floor.
“I don’t think you can do it,” you said playfully, folding your arms.
Larry opened the bottle of whisky and gave it a sniff before responding. “Well prepare to eat your words.” Larry smiled before he began to chug the bottle of whisky and you and Sal counted down from ten. This was more so to try and put Larry off, but that man was determined to never break a dare. And just like that, his ten seconds were up. When he pulled away from the whisky bottle, Larry made a face of utter disgust but with equal amounts of playfulness. “Tastes better with lemonade that’s for sure,” he chuckled as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve.
You were half impressed with your friend and nodded slowly. “Well, I didn’t think you’d be able to do it.”
“So… What happens if you fail a dare?” Sal asks, cocking his head to the side.
“You shook your head and laughed. “Nothing Sal-”
“You’ll just be known as a chicken forever and we’ll lose all respect for you,” Larry interrupted jokingly. You pushed Larry in the side, causing him to fall off the bed and onto the ground with a drunken giggle.
“I think I’ll take a truth then,” Sal said, smiling underneath his prosthetic.
Larry stood up and sat back onto the bed next to you while flashing his friend a toothy grin. “Alright Mr Straight A’s. Did you ever cheat on a test when we were at school?”
You could see Sal’s eyes widen through the holes of his prosthetic. He wanted to lie and say no, but what fun would the game be if he lied when he was supposed to tell the truth. So, he nodded. “Once, yeah. It was on a physics test.”
“Why did you do that? You were great at school!” Larry laughed, pouring himself another glass of whisky and lemonade for the three of you.
“That can be another truth for you and I’ll tell you,” Sal smirked, winking at his best friend before turning to you. “Okay, Y/N. Truth or dare?”
“Truth,” you said, not even hesitating.
The two men looked at each other and Larry nodded, signalling that he had a truth for you. “Do you have a favourite best friend?” He asked, pointing between himself and Sal.
You chuckled and shook your head. “No. I love you both equally.”
“Come on Y/N, that’s no fun!” Larry pouted, watching as you took a sip of your drink.
“Next time, ask me a better question then,” you remarked. “Okay Larry, it’s you again. Truth or dare?”
“I pick dare,” Larry said immediately.
“Erm,” Sal thought before raising up a finger, signalling he had a dare for Larry. “Try to lick your elbow!”
“Sally, that’s a shit dare,” you said, smiling widely at him.
“It’s all I could think of,” Sal said with a shrug, smiling back at you awkwardly.
But once again, Larry wasn’t one to break a dare and so, he attempted to lick his elbow. He failed miserably. You and Sal burst out laughing. “Ha ha ha, so funny. Larry can’t lick his elbow!” Larry said sarcastically, returning his arm to his side.
“No, no, it’s not that. It was just the look of pure determination on your face!” You squealed, leaning towards Sal and pulling the same facial expression that Larry had pulled. Sal’s laughter echoed through the room whilst Larry pouted at the pair of you.
“Alright alright,” Larry said in an attempt to get you to stop mocking him. “Sal it’s your turn, truth or dare?”
“Truth, again.”
“Are you crushing on anyone right now?” Larry asked, watching as Sal lifted up his prosthetic slightly so he could take a large gulp of his drink.
When he had finished drinking, he placed the glass on the bedside table and nodded shyly. “Big time.”
“Oh my God!” Larry exclaimed. “Who is it? Why haven’t you told me?!”
Sal found himself shrugging, “I didn’t think it was important to be honest with you.”
Larry looked confused. This was major news and he wanted to hear more about it but you interrupted, a frown on your face. “If Sal doesn’t want to tell you who his crush is, then leave him alone.”
Larry stuck his tongue out at you before asking, “do you know?”
“Not a clue,” you said truthfully, shaking your head.
“Hmm, fine. But one day Sally Face, your secret will become common knowledge to me,” Larry said, his voice joking threat. “Your turn Y/N.”
“I think I’ll go for dare this time,” you grinned, nodding your head feeling confident. The last two dares had been easy ones, ones you would kill for, so you thought your two best friends would go easy on you. But no, Larry had to be Larry.
“I dare you to take off your shirt,” Larry said with a sly grin.
You looked between your friends, shock laced your face. “My shirt?” You asked, tugging at the bottom of your shirt anxiously. Larry nodded, a mischievous grin on his face while Sal gulped down a lump in his throat. There was no way you were actually going to do the dare, right? You sighed and began to slowly remove your shirt, exposing your bra to your two male friends. Both of their eyes widened and Sal was thankful for the prosthetic covering his face because he was undoubtedly bright red.
“Huh, I didn’t think you’d actually do it,” Larry said, biting his lip as his eyes raked across your chest.
“Didn’t want to be known as a chicken,” you replied, trying to act calmly as you took a sip of your drink. You sat awkwardly looking down at your chest before glancing at your friends. “What? Neither of you have seen a bra before?” You joked, but they both shook their heads. You were slightly taken back by your friends answers, but just nodded your head and covered your chest with your arms before returning to the game. “Alright Larry, truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
You didn’t confer with Sal this time. After his little confession of never seeing a bra before, you had the perfect question. “Have you ever had sex with somebody?”
That wasn’t the sort of truth question Larry was expecting you to ask and he was slightly taken back by it that he ended up choking on his drink. “W-What?” He stuttered, wanting to make sure he had heard you right before confessing that he had indeed, never had sex before.
“You heard me, have you ever had sex?” You repeated your question again, this time more slowly.
Sal looked down at his feet awkwardly, tearing his eyes away from your half-exposed body as Larry shook his head and answered. “No. I’ve not. I mean, I’ve kissed girls but never actually had, you know, sex.” You smirked somewhat triumphantly. It felt as if you had gotten revenge for your dare, but little did you know this just meant Larry was about to ramp up the game.
“Alright Sally Face,” Larry slurred, the alcohol getting to him now. “Truth or dare.”
“Dare,” he said stoically, although he already feared what his dare was going to be.
“I dare you to take off your prosthetic and show our lovely Y/N here your face,” Larry said.
Your eyes widened at Larry’s dare for Sal and you shook your head. “Sal, you don’t have to do that-” you started, holding your hand out to touch his shoulder gently in a reassuring manner. But Sal was already removing the straps on the back of his head. When his prosthetic fell off onto the floor, Sal didn’t look at either you or Larry. He kept his head down and his eyes on the ground before downing the rest of his drink. That’s when he looked at you, flashing you an awkward and yet somewhat apologetic smile. You leaned in closer to your friend, pressing a soft kiss to his scarred cheek. “You’re beautiful, Sally.”
“Y-You think so?” He asked through a slurred stutter. You pushed some strands of blue hair away from his face and nodded, a soft and gentle smile gracing your lips.
“That’s cute,” Larry snickered. “I dare you to kiss now.”
“But I was going to pick truth-”
“I picked for you,” Larry shrugged.
You sucked in a deep breath and looked at Sal, a silent way of asking him for permission. He nodded to you, indicating that he was okay with it although he was shaking slightly from anticipation. You were so beautiful to him, and even more so with his prosthetic off. He could see every inch of you and he was loving it, and to know that you weren’t scared or repulsed by him just made his heart sing. You shuffled closer to Sal and wrapped your arms around his neck before pressing your soft, wet lips against his chapped ones. Sal didn’t know what to do with his hands, but he settled on placing them on your bare waist gripping ever-so-slightly. Meanwhile, Larry watched the two of you share a sweet, yet clumsy kiss. You stayed like that for a few moments, allowing yourself to get lost in the feeling of his lips on yours before you pulled away. As you did, Sal smiled softly at you, licking his lips. He had been rendered speechless.
Larry spoke up once again, a mischievous smile on his lips. “Now, I dare you to kiss me.”
You turned your head to look at him, eyes wide. You looked at Sal before looking at Larry once more, nodding sternly. You moved from Sal, shuffling across the bed to Larry’s position. Before you even bent down to kiss him, Larry’s hands were already on your waist pulling you down on top of his body. The kiss with Larry was more forceful than the kiss with Sal, but it was equally as clumsy. Larry became a little more suggestive as his hands moved along your hips, stroking them before sliding up your back to unhook your bra. A gasp of surprise tumbled from your lips as your bra slipped down your arms and off of your chest, leaving you completely bare to your best friends.
“But what about the game?” You asked, pulling away from Larry’s lips to look between him and Sal.
“Fuck the game,” came Larry’s response as he kissed you again. His tongue poked into your mouth and swirled around, savouring the taste of whisky and lemonade on your breath. Both Larry and Sal felt themselves harden at the sight of your exposed chest and Larry couldn’t hold himself back. His hands moved from the top of your back to your chest, pawing desperately at your tits. Then, his lips moved to your neck and Larry began to suck and bite at the soft flesh separating him from your jugular vein. You turned your head to the side to give Larry better access to your neck, taking the opportunity to look at Sal. A soft whimper escaped you as your eyes met Sal’s and you had to bite your lip to stop yourself making any more noise. You could feel the wetness growing between your legs at both Larry’s movements and the way Sal was watching you intensely. As Larry continued to kiss up and down your neck, you used your forefinger to beckon Sal towards you. He hesitated but slowly made his way over to your side. You turned the top half of your body to face him, still sitting on top of Larry and grabbed Sal’s shoulders, pulling him towards your lips again. This time, the kiss was much fiercer. A whimper of surprise left Sal’s lips as he welcomed the kiss, your tongue trailed his bottom lip begging for entrance. Larry looked up from your neck to see you making-out with Sal and in response, bit down hard on your neck.
“Larry!” You shrieked softly between Sal’s lips. Sal’s eyes widened at the sound of your voice, the mixture of pain and pleasure evident in your tone only seemed to turn him on even more. His cock twitched in his jeans, begging to be released. Your lips moved against Sal’s desperately wanting a reaction from your best friend. Larry continued to palm at your chest as he sucked on your neck, flicking your nipples between his fingertips.
You pushed Larry away and quickly manoeuvred yourself off of his body and grabbed the waistband of his sweats, pulling them down slowly to reveal his grey boxers. His cock strained against the tight fabric and you could see a wet patch starting to form around his tip as the result of the pre-cum. Larry’s breath was shallow as you finally took off his trousers, eyes gazing up and down your body. He felt slightly embarrassed that you were seeing him in his boxers, but he wasn’t complaining. He had thought about this moment countless times. Once Larry was completely naked and gasped at the coolness of the air against his cock, you turned to Sal and smiled sweetly at him. “Your turn.”
Sal gulped and nodded, allowing your fingertips to grace across his crotch as you unzipped and unbuttoned his jeans almost effortlessly. “Please Y/N,” Sal whispered, his voice barely audible.
As you began to slide his jeans down his muscular legs, you raised an eyebrow at him and asked, “what?”
“If we’re really doing this, I don’t want to be teased for my first time, please,” he moaned. Sal’s boxers were looser than Larry’s, but you could still see his distinctive hardened length twitching at your touch. You finally tugged off Sal’s jeans and boxers and threw them across the room to meet Larry’s sweats.
You looked between the pair of them and smiled sweetly. “Who wants my mouth first?”
The pair looked stunned and looked at each other, silently deciding. After a few seconds, Sal nodded and Larry spoke up. “Me.” You looked at Sal, making sure he was okay with being second, but he just shrugged. As long as he got you, he didn’t care. That was all the confirmation you needed to start moving back towards Larry. You teasingly lowered your mouth around him and looked up with your eyes to see Larry staring down at you. Once your lips touched the head of his cock, Larry couldn’t stop the moans. “Oh fuck,” he hissed, watching intensley as you lowered your head between his legs and wrapped your mouth around his length. Your mouth was so warm and wet around his hard dick that he wanted to cum immediately. Larry couldn’t help but grab your hair and keep your mouth still around him for a moment while he got used to the feeling of your mouth. Once he felt he was ready, he pushed your head further down, causing his cock to hit the back of your throat. You gagged slightly, but took his cock expertly. Sal was watching you the entire time, his hand hovering over his own cock desperate to relieve the itch he was feeling. Larry looked at Sal and grinned as he began to thrust in and out of your mouth. You closed your eyes as you began to suck, swirling your tongue around the tip and licking up the droplets of pre-cum oozing from the head. “Oh God.”
You opened your eyes and looked up to see Larry in a state of complete bliss. His eyes were now screwed shut and his mouth was hanging open for the silent moans to leave his throat. You looked at Sal, mouth still around Larry, and held out one of your hands. Sal looked confused and tilted his head to the side, but found himself moving closer to you. From what you could see, Larry and Sal were quite similar in size but Larry’s cock was much fatter whereas Sal’s was thinner. Your hand wrapped around Sal’s skinny length and you began to pump experimentally as you continued to suck on Larry as if he were nothing but a lollipop. Both of the men were moaning your name in perfect harmony, it almost made you laugh at how easily you had gotten them in this state.
After a few more moments, Larry gasped. His eyes shot up and he jerked his cock out of your mouth. You looked at him in confusion but he quickly answered your silent question. “I was going to cum.”
“I think I’m nearly there myself,” Sal whispered, biting his lip.
You removed your hand from Sal’s cock and looked between the pair of them, shaking your head. “Not yet. Neither of you.”
Sal couldn’t help but groan as your small hand moved away from him, a cry of desperation leaving his lips. “Why not?” Sal asked, bucking his hips up in the air.
“Want you cum inside of me. Both of you,” you said, eyes narrowing. Both Larry and Sal widened their eyes at your words and looked at each other.
“Y/N… Are you sure?” Larry asked, earning a nod of approval from you. Sal didn’t say anything, just watched on in surprise as you began to take off your pyjama pants and underwear. Was this really happening? This was a dream come true for both of the men in your presence that they almost had to pinch themselves to make sure they weren’t dreaming.
Once you were completely naked, you looked between your best friends. You weren’t as nervous as you thought you would be but maybe it was the alcohol coursing through your veins. You couldn’t be sure though. You lay down on the bed and spread your legs wide, waiting for one of them to make the first move. Of course it was Larry. He pressed his lips to your lower leg and trailed up your thigh, stopping right before your cunt. You were about to look down to see what he was doing, when you felt cool air against your folds. Larry had blown on you and it had sent a shiver of pleasure up your spine, causing you to open your legs further. Larry grinned devilishly at you before plunging his tongue against your folds. You gasped and cried out, grasping at the sheets below you. Larry was relentless against your cunt, lapping and sucking like a dog starved. You never would have thought that this was his first time eating pussy, but it was. Sal waited patiently, watching and licking his lips as the sight of your legs quivering over Larry’s shoulders.
“Does that feel good?” Larry asked you as he began to nibble on your clit. You couldn’t form a coherent sentence for the life of you, so you just nodded excitedly. Your hands made their way to his long, brown hair and tugged lightly. This made Larry groan and another wave of pleasure spread through your body at the sensation.
“I think she likes it,” Sal mused, more so to himself than to Larry, but Larry heard and nodded. His hands grasped your hips, hard enough to leave bruises but you didn’t care. You pushed Larry’s head further into your cunt and revelled in the feeling he was giving you.
“Oh Larry!” You cried out. “I’m going to cum if you keep on going like that.”
“It’s that easy to make you cum?” Larry teased, but you didn’t hear him. Instead, you came. Harder than you ever had before. Your hands on Larry’s hair tightened and you let out a yelp as you squirted over Larry’s face, and that man didn’t waste a drop. He slurped you up like a cold drink on a summer's day. When you came down from your high, Larry was laying on top of you, staring into your eyes. “Oh you look so hot when you cum Y/N. Doesn’t she Sally Face?”
Sal nodded and let out a shaky breath. “Yeah. Yeah she does.” Sal’s hand was now wrapped tightly around his cock as Larry slicked the tip of his head against your soaked folds, lubricating himself.
“I already know you’re going to feel so good,” Larry mumbled to you, pressing his lips against yours as he slammed into you. You let out a choked cry and threw your head back against the mattress, eyes meeting Sal’s.
“Larry, wait!” You whimpered, attempting to stop his hips from moving. You were being stretched and were fuller than you have ever been before that it hurt, but it hurt so good. Larry halted his movements when he saw the tears in your eyes.
“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” He asked, panic lacing his voice.
You shook your head and smiled at him. “No I’m okay, just… Just give me a minute to adjust before you carry on.”
Larry nodded in response and Sal came over to your side to begin literally kissing your tears away. “You’re okay,” Sal cooed, his hand stroking your head gently. You wanted to reply, but you couldn’t and that’s when Larry started moving again.
Larry’s pace was brutal. Fast and snappy, just like him. He had been craving this moment since he learnt what sex was and now that it was finally happening, he was going to give it everything he had. Your hands flew up from the bedsheets to Larry’s back, scratching down his skin and definitely leaving marks. Moans tumbled past your lips as Larry continued his strokes, his eyes never leaving yours with each movement he made. It was romantic, in a weird way. Sal continued to pump at his cock as he watched Larry pound into you, eagerly awaiting his own turn. “Fuck you feel so fucking good,” Larry growled as he dipped his head against your neck and began to bite yet again.
“Larry, oh God Larry!” You cried out, almost screaming. It was a good job that Larry lived alone and in the basement, because you definitely would have woken people up with the noises you were making. The bed began to creak and you feared for a second that it would break from the sheer intensity of Larry’s thrusts, but it held. The headboard, however, began to slam against the wall which only spurred on your arousal. Sal tilted his head to the side as he watched Larry’s cock emerge from your cunt before disappearing again, a sheer coat of wetness ringed around the base of his cock from your arousal and it was obvious that you were close to cumming again. Larry was close also, but he wanted to hold on for you. He wanted to give you one more orgasm before he finished inside of you, so he pulled his cock from your pussy and slipped two fingers inside of you with ease. He began pumping ruthlessly, your breasts bouncing from the force.
“You’re making it so hard not to cum right here and now,” Larry grumbled. It was then that he felt you clench around his fingers and he knew that you were cumming. You tried to vocalise it, but you had definitely been fucked dumb and could only nod. “Okay. I’m going to cum now, okay?” Larry said to you in a soothing voice. You looked at him through glossy eyes and opened your mouth to beg for him but all that came out was a loud shout as Larry slammed back inside of you, continuing his ruthless pace. Your walls fluttered around Larry’s cock and within seconds he was spurting hot ropes of cum inside of you, moaning your name repeatedly as his head fell against your neck. His hips slowed down to a halt and after a few seconds, Larry pulled out of you. His hands caressed your face and hair as he pressed his lips to yours in a slow, passionate kiss. Then, he sat up and turned to Sal with a grin on his face. “Your turn.”
You lay on the bed completely breathless as Larry rolled off of you and Sal climbed on to you. “Y/N, you with me?” Sal asked.
“Yeah,” you breathed out. “I’m with you. Please Sal.”
Sal smiled softly at you before slowly inserting himself inside of you, stretching you in a different way to Larry. His pace was slow and sensual, loving almost. As if pouring all of his emotion into making love to you. Sal’s lips were on yours in an instant and you immediately kissed him back. Your hands wrapped around his neck pulling him as close as possible all while Larry lay on the bed next to you and poured himself another whisky and lemonade. “God I love you. I love you so much,” Sal whispered against your lips. Your eyes widened at his confession, but you couldn’t say you were totally surprised. You let out a gasp as the tip of Sal’s cock stroked your cervix and you fell apart immediately.
“Sally,” you whimpered breathlessly, hands locking through his blue hair. Sal pulled away from your lips and rested his forehead against yours, eyes staring into your soul as he continued to thrust his hips against you. The pleasure felt too good that tears began pouring from your lower lash line.
“Shh you’re okay,” Sal cooed, pressing his lips against your forehead. You smiled at him in reply and pressed a hand to his scarred face.
“You’re so beautiful Sal,” you whispered, causing him to tear up.
“I’m glad you think so,” he let out a breathy laugh and bit his lip as he sped up his pace slightly.
“Touch my clit,” you whispered to him. Sal trailed a hand down the front of your body and rested it between your legs, fingertips fumbling across your clit clumsily. Although he didn’t know what he was doing exactly, it felt good. “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”
“I won’t stop,” Sal reassured you. “I won’t ever stop.” At those words, you felt your third orgasm approaching. You prompted Sal to move his fingers faster across your bundle of nerves and he did, finally pushing you over the edge. You cried out his name with a sob as you gushed around him, wetting the bed sheet and a bit of his torso. Sal smiled lovingly down at you as he felt your pussy clench around his cock. “Can I cum? Can I cum Y/N, please?”
“Yes Sally, please cum,” you begged, continuously nodding your head. Sal sped up his pace again, the headboard snapping against the wall once more. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and with a loud growl, he came. You felt his cock twitch inside of you, swear you could feel his creamy load filling you up until you physically couldn’t take anymore.
Panting, Sal kissed your cheek and your lips before whispering to you. “I love you Y/N.”
You let out a sob at his words and pulled him close to you, not allowing his cock to slide out of you just yet. You could feel him softening inside you, felt his and Larry’s mixture trickle down your thigh. It was definitely a feeling that you could get used to. Eventually, Sal moved and lay down next to you on the bed. He stared at the ceiling before he looked at you. You were already asleep, snoring ever so softly. Sal watched as your chest rose and fell with each breath you took, completely enamoured by you.
“It’s her, isn’t it?” Larry asked quietly, looking at Sal over your naked body.
“Hmm?” Sal asked, biting his bottom lip as he turned his head to face his best friend.
“The person you’re crushing on. It’s Y/N, isn’t it,” Larry questioned, although it was more of a statement than an actual question. He already knew the answer.
“Of course,” Sal mumbled, laying down and throwing an arm over you. He was careful not to wake you with his movements.
“I… Think I love her too,” Larry confessed, gulping the rest of his drink before laying his head down on the pillow and closing his eyes. Sal didn’t respond, just hummed in acknowledgement. There wasn’t much he could say after all. Neither of them knew where they stood and they wouldn’t until you woke up. Did this mean something? Or was it simply just fun with friends? They would ask you in the morning, but for now, they let you sleep peacefully between them.
#sally face#sally face fandom#sally face x reader#sal fisher#sal fisher imagine#sal fisher imagines#sal fisher x reader#sal fisher x you#sally face imagine#sally face imagines#sally face one shots#sally face smut#sally face oneshot#sally face oneshots#sally face one shot#sal fisher smut#larry johnson x you#larry johnson imagines#larry johnson imagine#larry johnson x reader#larry johnson#larry johnson one shot#larry johnson one shots#larry johnson oneshot#larry johnson oneshots#larry johnson smut
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Bat Feeder
AN: I keep seeing those rich people social media posts where people fill Dollie’s up with snacks and leave them outside for delivery drivers, and imagining doing something similar for the bats. Bat-Fam/Reader, 1K words (Batman, Harley Quinn, Nightwing, Red Hood, Robin, Signal, and Spoiler) CWs: None, just a silly little fluff fic. GN! Reader
It starts small, just a tray with some water bottles, packs of gum, maybe some protein bars and a multi-pack of chips you bought but didn’t like. You write ‘For Batman, Robin, and other vigilantes; Thanks for what you do :)‘ in Sharpie on the front of the tray and leave it on your balcony, not really expecting much, it was just a silly thought after too much doom scrolling.
It goes untouched for weeks, you’ve almost forgotten about it until one night, at like 2 AM you hear the sound of heavy boots walking on metal grate, so faint you would have missed it if you’d been asleep. Curious, you peek through your curtain and there’s Red Hood!
He stands there for a long time, motionless as he seems to stare at it, helmet hiding any real emotion until he pockets a pack of gum and water before leaving, dropping down into the street.
News must spread amongst the other heroes cause within a few days the basket is nearly empty. Enthused, the next time you go to the store you pick up some new items, just a few extra bits that are within your budget; chips that don’t taste like cardboard, candy, and energy drinks.
Your efforts are clearly appreciated as you wind up having to restock every couple of days. The energy drinks are the biggest takers, and you worry you might be supplying the younger ones with high amounts of caffeine that they shouldn’t be having.
One day you’re scrolling through insta during your work break and see Spoiler has posted a masked selfie of herself holding up a chocolatey protein bar with the caption ‘Perks of the job! 💜⭐️ #thankyoukindcivilian’ or something like that. In the back of the photo you see your basket and you’re elated.
Another day you wake up to a note wedged halfway through your window, it’s from Robin, stating that he’s a vegan and if it’s not too much trouble could you cater to that. The same day you dump a bunch of fruit that you were never gonna eat anyway into the basket and hope it will hold over until your next trip to the store where you spend ages examining the dietary information of everything you pick up, eventually finding a couple of items you hope he’ll like.
Your efforts are appreciated because the next day you find another note from him offering his gratitude.
After the novelty has worn off it dies down, you fall into a routine; they never take too much, so you only have to top it up every few weeks. Until one morning you wake up to find it completely ransacked, your sign has been scribbled out, replaced by the words: ‘THX 4 THE SNACKS’, and a bunch of doodles. You suspect Harley Quinn since one of the drawings is her trademark 3 of diamonds.
Unsure how to proceed, you clean up the mess and bring it inside. You don’t want to attract danger, but you did enjoy doing it. The graffitied tray sits by the door for a long time while you consider what to do, more and more forgotten with each day.
That’s until there’s a knock on your balcony door in the middle of the night. Seems ominous, risky in a city like Gotham, especially after what happened with Harley, but just like that night with Red Hood, you can’t help but investigate.
When you poke your head around the curtain you find Nightwing staring back at you. He smiles and waves to you like you’re long-time friends and it does a lot to ease your shock.
“Um, hi. Can I help you?” You ask as you open the door.
“Uh, maybe, see, I came all the way from Blüdhaven cause I was told there would be snacks.” He replies, dramatically looking around your balcony as he speaks. “But there’s no snacks.”
“Yeah. I stopped after Harley Quinn vandalised it.” You gesture to the now discarded red and black tray. “But I have some chocolate, if you want some. Or do you like Cheez-Its?”
“You don’t have to do that.” He sounds disappointed.
“No it’s fine, it’s no trouble, wait here!”
You raid your kitchen before returning with a handful of snacks and drinks from your own supply and offer them Nightwing.
“Oh wow, Thanks!”
You didn’t have to, but you’re glad you did. He has such a genuinely giddy look on his face.
“Really though, we don’t do it for the free stuff, we appreciate it a lot.” He speaks between mouthfuls of M&Ms. “If you ever wanted to do it again, I wouldn’t worry about Harley. She's mostly harmless to civilians these days.”
He thanks you a few more times before leaving to finish his patrol, but not before warning; “Hey, don’t open your door for any more strangers in the middle of the night, yeah? Well, unless they’re as handsome as me.”
Harley being mostly harmless doesn’t fill you with confidence, but you figure if those guys are brave enough to risk their lives fighting crime, you can be brave enough to put a box of treats outside. This time with a new sign that reads “For Bats, birds, other vigilantes, and Harley Quinn ♥️”
You hope including her might make her less likely to lash out.
From there everything falls back into normality for a while, you even start adding seasonal treats for special occasions, until eventually, they seem to stop by less and less, perhaps they grew bored or maybe you’re not a convenient stop on their latest patrol route, you don’t really mind, you persist.
Every now and again on your days off you’ll spot signal stopping by, he always gives you a smile and a thumbs up when he sees you watching him.
After months and months, maybe a year or so it happens. The big one. You’re struggling to sleep one night, the flat just feels too hot, too claustrophobic. Overwhelmed by it you storm outside, needing the night sky and its cold air but when you get there you’re greeted by an imposing shadow of a man, Batman. He’s holding a half-drunk bottle of water and his entire body is so stock still, you’re not even sure if he’s real or a statue. After a solid minute of silent staring you quietly step back inside, count to 30, and re-emerge. He’s gone, completely dissolved into the darkness of the night with half a bottle of water and a snack pack of mint Oreos.
#dc#batfam x reader#batman#Bruce Wayne#batman/reader#bruce wayne/reader#Nightwing#dick grayson#nightwing/reader#dick grayson/reader#Jason Todd#red hood#Robin#damian wayne#stephanie brown#the signal#x reader#imagine#gilverrwrites
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two geniuses (don’t get along)
enemies to lovers;; spencer reid x fem reader!
masterlist!
note; in this fic lila’s episode happens after elle’s departure to make the story have more sense. (S1 E18). also there have been some changes :))
synopsis; spencer reid; doctor spencer reid. some of them (mostly of them), would say he’s a genius. but if he was, then so you were. maybe that’s why you hate each other. maybe that’s why you can’t stand him.
cw;; +18 content! minors dni!, reader and spencer’s competitive asses, talk of murder, graphic scenes, weapons, guns, blood, shots being fired, lila flirting, spencer kissing lila, lots of fighting, lots of tension, teasing, apologies, reader getting hurt (mentions of stitches), threats, murder of secondary characters, talk about kinks and trauma (spencer being a smartaas), mention of spencer’s childhood and her mom… ( i bet there’s so much more but i can’t remember rn) angst, fluff and smut in upcoming chapters!!!
“another coffee, pretty boy? you wanna die?” morgan inquired the puppy eyed profiler, whose right hand held a cup of freshly brewed coffee.
“actually, the caffeine in coffee has been found in animal and cell studies to protect cells in the brain that produce dopamine. in a large prospective cohort of more than 500,000 people followed for 10 years, an association was found between drinking higher amounts of coffee and lower rates of death from all causes.” he easily spat in less than a mere minute, making morgan scoff.
“it’s not considered coffee if a 99% of it is sugar, reid.” you barged into their conversation, taking a look at the files of new cases.
“sugar is one type of carbohydrate, as are fiber and starch. carbohydrates are essential macronutrients.” he defended himself, taking a sip of his coffee-sugar.
“wrong. although carbohydrates are essential macronutrients since the body uses them in large amounts, something wrong about your thesis is that sugar is not one of those macronutrients. the body doesn’t use it. in fact, the effects of added sugar intake which are higher blood pressure, inflammation, weight gain, diabetes, and fatty liver disease, are all linked to an increased risk for heart attack and stroke. so yeah. technically, morgan was right. you might die.” you nodded towards the man, who smiled at you, walking towards you and taking your face in between his hands.
“have i told you how much i love that brain of yours?” he inquired, leaving a kiss to your forehead. “brilliant.” he smiled, raising his hands in victory since for once he had won spencer and his extensive knowledge. the profiler simply rolled his eyes.
“thanks.” spencer spat at you, to what you smiled.
“you’re very welcome, agent.”
“it’s doctor.”
“yeah, yeah. whatever.”
spencer reid. with an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and the ability to read 20,000 words per minute, he was considered a real walking genius. maybe that’s why the two of you seemed to despise each other so much. people say geniuses actually like each other. well, you and spencer were the exception. it was easy to get on his nerves. he was not used to having someone smart enough to actually suppose a threat to his intelligence. yet there you were. you had been jumping your way up to college since you were twelve, and at the ripe age of 22, and numerous phds later, you had found yourself working at the BAU.
you had been hired after elle had left the team, and everyone had seemed happy greeting you. you had specially made quick friends of penelope and morgan. something reid didn’t seem to like. well… he didn’t exceptionally like you. something that seemed stupid ‘cause you two were the perfect pair. there was nothing the two of you didn’t know, nothing you wouldn’t catch or realize. maybe that’s why spencer despised you. ‘cause now they had you too, not only him.
it was actually a pity. you liked smart people. you liked to share opinions and learn new things you might not know with the help of others. but spencer was borderline narcissistic, and that made your body cringe in disgust. and worst of all, he was really attractive. curly caramel hair, hazel puppy eyes, full lips, small straight nose, tall stature, pretty hands… also his voice…
well, anyways. you were losing focus.
so you’d decided to match his energy. and that only seemed to make the situation worse. sure, you two worked together, but only because you had to, if you could you’d much prefer to do everything alone rather than have to share office with reid.
hotch caught your attention as he pushed a file on your table.
“and what’s this…?” you sung as you took it, inspecting it.
“training program in los angeles.” you looked at him. he was leaning against your table. “want you to go with gideon and reid.” you let out a single chuckle, tossing the paper on your table.
“no.” you simply said, watching the man sigh. “tell jj to go! or prentiss!” you offered.
“can’t. jj is helping penelope to trace an unsub and prentiss is new, need someone who has been on the ropes longer.”
“then what about morgan? he’s not doing anything.” you pointed at the man who played with a mini football.
hotch looked at you. “please? you are the only one who gets reid. you know how he can be…”
“a narcissistic, egocentric, babbling, childlike, fourteen looking mess? yeah, i know.” you smiled. “but what do i win in this situation? i mean i must gain something if i’m gonna spend more time than necessary with him.”
“a free weekend.”
“done.” you gave him your hand. “a pleasure doing business with you, sir.”
-
“spencer! spencer reid!” you hear someone call for your work-mate, a tall smiling man approaching him and shaking his hand just as the three of you entered an art exhibition. “look at you. you look just the same.” he chuckled as he gives him a quick hug. “nothing changed… spencer was the only 12-year-old in our graduating class. just the same.”
“thanks.” spencer awkwardly says, giving the man a tight smile. “these are special agents jason gideon and (y/n) (l/n). this is parker dunley. we went to high school together as you can probably gather.” he introduces all of you.
“hey. it’s a beautiful gallery.” jason gives him his hand in a shake.
“oh, thank you, thank you. parker smiles, later on turning towards you.
“contemporary art… right?” you inquire offering him your hand, to what he nods. “contemporary modern art includes a wide range of mediums and genres. it is often characterized by its use of new media, such as video and installation art, as well as its rejection of traditional art forms. contemporary modern artists often experiment with form and content, and their work can be highly conceptual.” you say, making the man chuckle.
“i see you brought your computers.” parker jokes with gideon about spencer and you. “another genius like spencer?”
“oh no, men are just smart. woman are the geniuses.” you smile, making him chuckle.
“and funny, huh? i see, i see.”
spencer coughs to grab the man’s attention. “jason’s a big contemporary art enthusiast.”
“well, we’re exhibiting four up-and-coming artists in this show. everything is for sale. and i could definitely swing a nice discount for a friend of…” he loses focus as a blonde beautiful woman enters the exhibition. “lila! hey. guys, come on.” he invites you three towards his friend, coming up to her to say hello.
“do i look 12-years-old to you?” spencer inquired gideon, to what you scoffed, thanking the waiter that offered and served you a glass of champagne.
“oh, totally.” you said as you took it, taking a sip as you heard spencer crack a fake laugh.
“real funny.”
you three made your way towards parker and… lila. she was a beautiful blue eyes-blonde young girl. the basic american beauty standard.
“spencer. you ever met a real movie star?” the man asks, to what the girl beside the blonde scoffs.
“movie star? please. she has a supporting role on a television series about beach volleyball. totally blue-collar.” your eyebrows slightly rise.
“what a friend…” you whisper to your glass, taking another sip of the champagne.
“i’m lila.” the girl gives a sweet smile to spencer, and you almost roll your eyes.
it’s only a matter of time.
“hi, im doctor spencer reid… i’m spencer. you don’t have to call me doctor.” he corrects himself.
lila chuckles. in 3… 2… 1… and tucks her hair behind her ear. there we go.
“cool.” you say, turning around without even introducing yourself, it’s not as if she’d pay attention to you. she’s too focused on spencer to care as you make your way through the gallery, taking the artwork in, trying to scape the probable flirting that was about to go down.
later on you found the two of them chatting in front of a picture in which the blue and green dominate.
“does it make you feel anything?” the blonde asked him, and you silently expect an answer from spencer.
“like what?” he asks. god he sucks.
“i can’t tell you how to feel.” lila chuckles at his frown.
“right now i feel pretty good.” he smiled and you roll your eyes.
“lila? can i talk to you for a moment?” parker interrupts their chatting and the girl nods, quickly glancing at spencer.
“excuse me.”
“sure!” he gently says, and you make your way towards him.
“feeling pretty good, huh?” you inquire him, teasingly, and he groans. “you totally suck.” you take a sip of your glass and he looks at you. “poor girl seems desperate.”
“desperate for what?” he inquires, frowning.
“oh come on, reid. and you call yourself a profiler? it’s obvious she likes you. she was trying to flirt with you.” you obviously state. “she was trying so hard and you were not catching on…” you laugh, and he sighs.
“you know ogling on other’s business is rude, right?” he questions you.
“we’re the fbi. we’re on everybody’s business. that’s our job, reid.” you ignore him, taking a look at the photograph lila and him were staring at. “calming, isn’t it?” you say and he looks at the photograph as well, taking it in.
“sometimes, the color blue is associated with loneliness and sadness. it usually happens when you combine it with specific elements, like rain.” he spits and you chuckle.
“i know that, genius. the thing is not how it’s supposed to make you feel, it’s how it really makes you feel.” he looks at you as you sip from your cup. “with lila, you might feel good, ‘cause you enjoy her company, with me on the other side, you might not even want to be here, staring at a photograph that you’ve probably seen before. that’s because you focus on everything too much. you need to see what the picture actually tells you, not focus on the person you’re staring at it with.”
spencer’s hazel eyes go back to the picture, trying to focus on it, not on your presence, or the amount of voices that surrounded him.
the exhibited photograph shows an empty gas station, lights of green engulfing it as the nightlight blue sky surrounds it. it takes spencer back to his childhood. to those days in which even if he loved his mother, he couldn’t spend another minute by her side and left his house late in the afternoon for a walk. it helped him get out of his head. he remembers watching the sun go down as the night took over the sky, studying and calling out the constellations above his head, trying to find a solution to his mother’s illness. the stars never worked, and he was always left…
“it makes me feel alone.”
-
“you know, we really can get ourselves to the airport.” gideon said, reid and you trailing behind him as the police officer guided you to his car.
“i didn’t invite the fbi here to let them make their own way around town.” he says, never minding gideon.
“we really appreciate it.” reid says and you whistle.
“so you have manners, huh?” to what he groans.
“oh, shut up.”
“hey, i can’t thank you guys enough for conducting the seminar.” kim smiles.
“well, don’t hesitate to call if there’s anything we can help with.” gideon offered, putting his bags on the trunk of the car.
you stretched your arms after having pushed in your own. “can’t wait for that free weekend.” you muster happily, to what spencer frowns.
“free weekend? what are you talking about?”
“a special thanks from hotch for coming all the way here and putting up with you.” his mouth falls open at your words.
“i didn’t get any free time and i had to put up with you!”
“that let’s you know who’s the problem in this equation.” you falsely smiled at him, patting her shoulder, and you relished on the way his jaw tightened.
your conversation ends as the three of you watch officer kim end a phone call with a not very enthusiastic ‘great’.
“everything alright?” jason asks.
“double murder at hollywood bungalow.” he informs. “a celebrity. a young movie star, natalie ryan, and her fiancé shot to death.”
“very romantic.” you mutter.
“it’s gonna be a major pain in the ass. hey, you guys care to take a quick look before i drive you to the airport? it’s on the way.” he asks, and gideon accepts the offer.
“absolutely.”
you sigh as you get on the back of the car along with spencer.
“seems like that weekend is gonna have to wait.” he happily and teasingly smiles and you send daggers in his direction.
“i’ll choke you with my bare hands.”
“did you get that kink by exposure or trauma?” your mouth falls and your eyes widen.
“what?” you almost yell, watching him ponder.
“maybe it’s because you like to have power and control. have you talked about this with a therapist?”
“you’re gonna have to see a therapist after the torture i’m gonna put you through if you don’t stop that fucking nonsense.” you warn him, and he raises his hands.
“i’m just saying, there’s nothing bad about seeking mental help-”
“spencer!”
-
“no sign of forced entry.” reid points out as the four of you enter the murder scene.
“same weapon.” gideon informs watching at the two bodies.
you stare at the female, getting closer. “the girl was shot execution style, once in the head. the male three times in the torso.”
“so you have two different MOs.” jason wonders before going back to officer kim, talking about the case. you crouch down to take a better look at the man’s corpse.
“what? you found anything?” spencer inquired from behind you, to what you shook your head.
“nah. just fantasizing.” he frowns.
“fantasizing. what the- what would you possibly be fantasizing about in a murder scene?”
“oh you know… you… in that position… you know? it’s really sexy, you should try it. here don’t move let me get my gun.” you offer while getting up, and he just rolls his eyes, leaving you behind.
“what do you think?” gideon asks the officer about the case, wanting his insight.
“i’ve had a couple other cases recently, past few months. same type of weapon, 22 caliber handgun, both shot in the head.” you look at the bodies. “the first was an established film producer, wally melman, and the second was chloe harris, another young actress. though not as well-known as natalie here.”
“any forensic evidence?” reid asks as you step away from them, taking in your surroundings.
“no, and the guys have been going through this place all morning and haven’t come up with anything.”
“so he clearly knows how to cover his tracks.”
“or hers.” you mutter to yourself.
“twenty-two’s are small but efficient. they bounce around inside a person like a pinball.” jason said.
“preferred weapon of the mafia.” spencer added. “you know, there’s no obvious sexual component to these crimes, which is usually the case with serial murders.”
“so you’re thinking this is a serial killer?” kim asks.
“well, it’s certainly a series of murders. we don’t know enough yet to call them serial.” you step into the conversation.
“would you consider hanging out in LA a little while? let me lean on your expertise until we do figure out what we’ve got?” the officer inquires and gideon nods.
“yeah, just cancel the flights. we’ll have the rest of pit team out here ASAP.”
-
the unsub seemed to follow his victims, since he knew their schedules. there was not a single witness, he knows how to blend in and hide in plain sight. he’s meticulous.
and everybody is watching.
just like everybody was watching spencer and lila.
after finding out that the unsub was actually stalking the blonde, and killing people to help her with her career, she had somehow scurried her way under spencer’s protection. it actually bothered you. ‘cause spencer seemed so distracted. and it was totally unprofessional to get involved with a target being their agent.
you were on her studio, studying everyone surrounding her. but it was one person that caught your attention.
“who’s that?” you question prentiss.
“that’s maggie, maggie lowe. for what i know she just works here.” she answers you. “why?”
“they seem pretty close, don’t you think?” you ponder, watching her physical language. “she also seems nervous, she avoids lila’s eyes.”
“maybe she’s just shy.” she shrugs, but knows what you’re pointing out.
“maybe…” then, jj appears.
“what are you guys talking about?”
“lila and possible unsubs.” emily fills her in, accepting the coffee she offers her, you take the one she handles you too with a thanks.
“talking about lila… look who’s approaching her.” she devilishly smiles. you almost groan at the sight of spencer talking to the blonde. “they seem to have hit it off.”
“ugh don’t start. he’s so focused on her when in reality he should be focused on his job…” you sip at your coffee, not realizing the shared look the other two girls send each other. “so unprofessional.” you shake your head.
“are you really mad because he’s distracted from his job or by the fact that a pretty girl is distracting him?” jj asked you, taking in your frown and confused expression.
“what?”
“oh come on, really? do you really not feel it?” emily pushes in too, and you look at them.
“feel what? i-i don’t understand.”
“there’s this weird tension in between the two of you.” the brunette explains, being backed up by the blonde.
“it’s like when two little kids like each other and they don’t know how to show it so they just mess with each other.” you scoff.
“you’re saying that spencer and i are attracted to each other?” you inquired them both and they looked at the other. “come on guys, have you seen him? have you actually worked with him? he’s a fucking narcissist, he makes my life impossible just because i’m as smart as him. i don’t like him. at all. i can’t even stand him!” you rant. “he does this thing when he’s focused, playing with his hands and pencils, it’s so distracting. and when i state a fact, he just has to find something to actually make it wrong. every single time. and let’s not talk about how fucking childish he is, if you guys had been here for the training program, i swear to god he said this stupid things about kinks and me having trauma, oh my god i wanted to fucking kill him. he diminishes me, and thinks he’s better than me. and it just makes me sick…” you take a deep breath when you notice how much you had actually talked and your friends’ looks. “what i mean to say is, no. i don’t like spencer reid. and if he wants to fuck his job up, i’d be more than happy.”
morgan suddenly appeared, hotch right behind him.
“guys. there’s something you have to know…” the first talked.
“michael ryer’s dead.” the second finished.
“oh shit.” emily cursed.
“does lila know?” jj asked.
they shook their head.
“she’s gonna be devastated.” jj said to what you sipped at your coffee.
“well at least she has spencer, right?”
“oh, yeah. can we talk about that real quick?!” morgan inquired, astonished.
“no, morgan!” the girls stop him and he raised his hands.
“okay… but the kid has game.”
-
“woah. i like your house.” spencer said as you two entered lila’s house.
how had you managed to end up with the two of them alone, you didn’t know, and you didn’t like.
“i rent it.” the girl smiled.
“nice.” he nodded.
“lila, you should probably change all your phone numbers.” you said, messaging your team, they’d found something concerning nude photos of the young artist.
“i’m unlisted.”
“anytime you call an 800 or an 888 number your phone number’s put into a data bank that’s then sold to telemarketers. if someone gets your phone number they can go online and research all your records.” you actually responded.
“woah, are you a genius like spencer too?” spencer.
“no. i’m actually smarter.” you gave her a small smile, making her chuckle.
“uh… you should probably carry a piece of paper and pen with you wherever you go in case you see any suspicious license plates that often reappear.” spencer tries to change the conversation as you two followed the blonde towards her kitchen. “and a security dog too.”
“allergic.” she simply answered. “do you guys want some tea?”
you shrugged. “yeah, sure. thanks.” spencer nodded as well. it was already getting late, the sun leaving the city’s sky.
“i’m gonna go change while the water boils, make yourselves comfortable.” she said while making her way upstairs.
you went back towards the salon, your eyes wandering towards a collage on lila’s wall. spencer got your left side, his white stripped button up shirt’s sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
“feel anything yet?” you asked him.
“there is something definitely appealing about this one.” he said and you nodded.
“like lila?”
he looked at you, his mouth falling open to say something, but just as the words were to fall from his lips, the blonde returned in a a more comfortable outfit, making her way towards the patio of her house, beside the pool.
“what are you doing?” spencer inquired her.
“i just need some air. the tea is on the kitchen.” she responded.
“what? no, lila…” your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you watched him go after her.
you could hear them talk and spencer beg her to come inside since there was a psychotic killer aiming at her. you made your way back to the kitchen just as fast as you saw the blonde lean into him, one of her hands tugging at his tie to pull him down. great.
your hands took the cup of steaming tea that lila had prepared you, your eyes on spencer’s as you took a sip. but the warm liquid was poured all over the floor of the kitchen, your head spinning at the blunt trauma that stroke you. your hands went to the side of your forehead as you fell, taking in the sight of your blood. you groaned as someone took you from your hair, pulling you and dragging you across the floor, your hands getting cuts from the smashed cup of tea.
“come here.” the unsub said, taking away your gun, and… you knew that voice. your eyes met the blonde’s.
“maggie lowe?” you muttered to yourself. so you were right. she was the killer and stalker.
you got dragged all the way to the salon, where you could see lila and spencer kissing from the distance. but the kiss quickly broke when maggie fired a shot up into the ceiling, capturing their attentions. spencer quickly pulled out his weapon, pointing at maggie, whose gun’s barbell was right against your head.
“maggie?” lila inquired as they slowly made their way towards you two.
“why’d you have to bring these people here?” she asked lila. “put down the gun.” she ordered spencer, clocking the weapon that kissed your skin. he quickly lowered it, calling out for the killer. “don’t call me maggie! you don’t know me!” “come on lila, let’s go. we gotta go baby, let’s go.” she ordered the actress in a soft yet hurt voice.
“maggie don’t hurt her, you don’t need to hurt her.” you didn’t know if he was talking about lila or you. or maybe both.
“you don’t know anything. i would never do anything to hurt lila. i created her.”
“no, you didn’t.” lila said.
“yes, i did!” you closed your eyes when the barbell dug harsher against your temple. “i did everything for you! and you betray me by bringing these people here… to our house!!!”
“so ungrateful…” you say, loud enough for maggie to hear you. “look at you… you gave her everything and you saw what she did to you… she kissed him. she told him she loved him.” you lied, looking at spencer. he caught on.
“what?” maggie incredulously said.
“i heard them. i saw them kissing each other like animals!” you yelled. “he abandoned me… and now i’m here. about to be killed because of him!” you spat, meeting maggie’s eyes. “you don’t have to hurt me. they don’t deserve us. i’m on your side maggie… i know how you feel. i know how it feels to be betrayed like this…” you nodded, seeing her eyes change. “give me my gun… i’ll kill him for you. and then you can have lila back. i’ll let the two of you go.” you promised, slowly rising up to your feet, extending your hand.
and just as she pointed her gun down, you tackled her, taking the weapons from her and throwing them aside as she fought against your hold.
“reid!” you called out for your work mate, who quickly came to you and handcuffed maggie, who just started crying and begging for you to kill her.
“i gave her everything…”
you looked at spencer, wiping off the blood from your eyes.
“and that’s why we need to stay professional.”
-
“are you okay, pretty girl?” morgan came to you as the paramedics wiped clean your wound.
“yeah, they say i have a light concussion. a couple of stitches and i’ll be alright.” you gave him a small smile.
“what happened in there, huh? we only got what the paparazzi had on camera, which is…” you nodded.
“yeah. well, maggie got into the house with lila’s spare keys, and basically almost killed me. it was good luck that spencer kissed lila, or else i don’t know what i would’ve done.” the rest of the team had gathered around you.
“you did good. spencer told me how you got into her head.” gideon said.
“thanks.” you responded.
“make sure you’re on the clear before getting up. we’ll be right back, gotta fill in the other officers.” hotch informed you, to what you nodded.
they all left except spencer, who silently looked at you.
“i’m sorry.” spencer said, looking at his feet. “this shouldn’t have happened, if i hadn’t…”
“… played barbie?” you finished off for him, catching his attention. “look spencer. i don’t really care about it. it’s your life and you make your own decisions, just… make sure to not put any of us in danger while doing it. even lila. one of us three could have died tonight.” he nodded. you reached on your back pockets, pulling out the films of the paparazzi’s camera. “i guess this is yours.” he called out for you once again, probably to apologize one more time, but you were still pretty shaken up and you were still pretty mad at him. “would you mind? my head is killing me.” you asked of him and he nodded, silently turning around and walking its way towards morgan and emily. your mind went back to her words the moment the needle punctured your skin. oh ‘come on, really? do you really not feel it?’ ‘there’s this weird tension in between the two of you.’. and then back to jj’s. ‘it’s like when two little kids like each other and they don’t know how to show it so they just mess with each other’. you couldn’t help but chuckle.
you liking spencer? no way.
if there was anything you felt for spencer reid that was hate.
-
a/n; im so excited for this series!!!! so much angst and fluff and smut yet to come!🤭
#enemies to lovers#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid angst#spencer reid smut#spencer#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid criminal minds#dr spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader smut#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x fem!readr#spencer reid comfort#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds angst#criminal minds smut
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We Become We
pairing: husband!lee minho x reader genre/warnings: friends to lovers, marriage of convenience, fluff, poor attempts at me trying to be funny, mc's gender is not specified word count: 1.02k note: i am not dead yay. i tried my best since i haven't had time to write for almost a month so please take this as a peace offering ♡
Marriage. It’s an interesting concept, isn’t it?
You’ve always thought so, at least. Two people agreeing to sign a legal document and tethering their lives to each other for whatever reason, be it love, societal expectations, familial pressure, financial security, etc.
Yours happens to be a man named Lee Minho. The same man you’ve been friends with for as long as you can remember. The same man who asked you to marry him for a reason you didn’t get to learn until he was already down on one knee.
(“I’m sorry, you want me to WHAT?” “Marry me. Please, I need health insurance.”
“Okay, yes, sure, whatever; now please get off the floor. People are staring.”)
Lee Minho, who, after dragging you to the courthouse and legally becoming your husband, finally elaborated on how his job would pay him more and cover both of your health insurances if he was married. So really, in his words, he was “doing you a huge favor” by marrying you.
And, in all honesty, he really was. No, you didn’t have a ring to show off your new husband’s weird skill at finding loopholes in company policy, and you’re like thirty-five percent sure the two of you are committing some kind of marriage fraud, but does it really matter when you can finally start using the hot water in your dingy apartment without worrying if you’ll have enough money to fund your crippling caffeine addiction? The government will have to drag you kicking and screaming before you resort back to mankind’s cruelest form of torture: cold showers.
Not to mention that marriage didn’t even change your relationship with Minho. And why would it? You’re still you, and he’s still him. He gets on your nerves just the same, maybe even a little bit more after he decided to frame your marriage certificate in his living room and send a photo to all your mutual friends. You’ll never forgive Minho for laughing at your helplessly panicked state when the group chat wouldn’t stop exploding with messages and incessant calls.
You’re still his best friend that resides in his apartment four out of seven days of the week while he inhabits yours for the other three. Maybe that’s why, two weeks after your “wedding,” when it was time to renew your lease, Minho suggested with a simple shrug of his shoulders that you move in with him since “you’re here all the time anyway.”
You’ve really got to learn how to say no to him because now you wake up next to your best friend/roommate/husband in his one bedroom, one bathroom apartment at the crack of dawn with a light pressure on your chest and fur in your face when his cats decide you need to wake up right now to feed them.
Not to say you don’t like the new arrangement! No, that would be the furthest from the truth.
Sure, you didn’t appreciate your skin care routine being interrupted by the unexpectedly high-pitched scream Minho let out when he saw you in a face mask for the first time, and what kind of person still has their phone’s brightness turned up all the way before bed? But who else would willingly tolerate your deliriousness before your morning coffee or indulge in your pleas to cook your favorite food three days in a row?
Living with Minho has only made the purely platonic feelings you harbor for him grow stronger.
That’s what the fluttering in your chest means every time you see him, right? The reason for the smile that grows on your face when you hear the distinct jingling of keys at the front door?
Yeah, that must be why heat spread across your cheeks when he handed you his phone to text one of his friends back, because since when did the heart emoji make an appearance next to your pinned contact name?
You just care about each other, that’s all. It’s normal to want to make sure he arrived at work safely and ask how his day is going during your lunch breaks. It’s normal to start receiving back hugs before bed—a comforting weight as Minho’s chin rests on your shoulder while you apply the rest of the products to your face.
It’s natural to have doubts about the nature of your relationship during an evening walk, acutely aware of his fingers lightly brushing against yours as you silently study his features illuminated by the soft glow of the scattered streetlights. What if he meets someone else and falls in love with them and wants a divorce and– oh.
Has he always looked at you like that? With his gaze softening as it locks with yours? With the corners of lips lifting into the gentlest smile you’ve ever seen? With all the stars shining above you finding a second home in his eyes? A look so loving that it takes your breath away and you can’t tell if you’re about to laugh or cry in relief.
And when you return home to get ready for bed, the familiar feeling of hands wrapping around your waist and a careful pressure resting by the crook of your neck quells the remnants of your worries.
It’s you and Minho. Minho and you, just as it always has been. Just as it’s always meant to be.
The distance between your bodies on the bed becomes nonexistent when you curl yourself into his side, laying your head on his shoulder and intertwining your legs with his as he immediately, unhesitantly, adjusts his arm, his fingertips finding purchase on exposed skin and roaming across the span of your back. A kiss to the top of your head is the last thing you feel before the gentle lull of breathing and the rise and fall of his chest begin to soothe you to sleep.
…
Ah, marriage—what an interesting concept. Two people agreeing to sign a legal document and tethering their lives to each other for whatever reason, be it love, societal expectations, familial pressure, financial security, etc.
You love your husband, and you’re beginning to think he loves you too.
liked this work? want to let me know how i did? please like, comment, and/or reblog; they are greatly appreciated my asks are always open ♡
taglist: @linospuddin @linocz @spicyhyunn
#lee know x reader#lee minho x reader#lee know#lee minho#skz x reader#lee know fluff#lee know scenarios#lee know imagines#lee minho imagines#stray kids x reader#stray kids lee minho#stray kids lee know#stray kids scenarios#stray kids imagines#stray kids#stray kids fluff#stray kids fic#skz#kpop imagines#skz scenarios#skz fluff#lee minho x y/n#lee minho x you#stray kids x you#lee know x you#lee know x y/n#stayinlimbo
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Good morning Miss Winnie.
Part II
Pairing: Dean Winchester X Reader.
Rating: Gen.
Summary:
You've just given birth to Dean's baby and are a enjoying a quiet family moment in the days afterwards.
Notes: Non-canon, no time line. And I don't ever want kids. But I just became an aunt and I sort of need to get this out of my system! Short and I'm not promising that I won't continue this. Who knows really. Finally this was written after I'd taken my usual nightly gummy.
The bunker was quiet first thing in the morning except for the usual hum of the circulation fans. You’d been there so long that they barely registered anymore, and you were extremely thankful that the consistent noise wasn’t a problem for the baby. That would have been a horror show. Trying to navigate parenthood with a baby awoken by the simplest of sounds.
You shuddered at the thought.
Life was always loud when you lived with Dean Winchester and his posse of colour characters. Between unexpected visitors and the brothers coming and going at odd hours, there was something new every day and often that new wasn’t good.
But in that moment things were perfect. The monsters outside didn’t exist and you were a regular mom with a new baby and a husband who loved you. His bother Sam and best friend Castiel were an added bonus, the former serving as an unexpected asset when both you and Dean needed some rest.
You crept carefully out of bed, your body still feeling weak, and quietly crossed to the crib by the wall. A set of hazel eyes stared up at you and your heart melted.
“Good morning Miss Winnie.” You cooed, “Let’s get you up and at ‘em before you wake daddy.”
You heard a small scoff followed by the shuffling of blankets.
“Winnie?” Dean asked with a sleep-laden voice, “We ain’t calling her Winnie, sweetheart. I’ll accept those new-agey-hippy-names like Kendell and Kloe with a K before I’ll take Winnie.”
“I’m just calling her that until we choose a name.” You laughed, lifting the little girl up into your arms, her head coming to rest on your chest, “And Winnie is short for Winchester in case you hadn’t pieced that together.”
“I don’t care if it’s short for ‘daddy’s-little-angel’, it ain’t happening.”
“I’ll cross that off my list then shall I?” You sat back on the bed, Dean coming up to nest beside you and his eyes immediately going to the baby in your arms.
He smiled, creases forming at the corners of his eyes.
“You’re not a Winnie, are ya’ princess?” In that voice he seemed to only have adapted five days ago after the birth of your daughter; that voice reserved for her.
“Maybe not. What about Meghan?” You suggest.
“Oh nope. No can do. Knew a Meg once. Demon.”
You nodded knowingly. No one wanted to name their child after a monster.
“Stevie?” Dean carried on, his eyes still fixed on the baby.
“Like Stevie Nicks?” You raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah?”
“I’m not seeing it. Samatha?”
“Already got one Sam in this bunker and that’s more than enough. Alice?”
“Can’t do it. All I’ll keep hearing is ‘who the fuck is Alice’, and I don’t want my kid to be subjected to that for the rest of their life.”
You both laughed, interrupted only by the whine building in the little one’s chest. You quickly jumped to action and proceeded to the morning routine you’d been adjusting to since getting back home. Dean followed you, rubbing at his eyes.
“I don’t think I’ve had hangovers that made me feel quite as bad as waking up five times at night.” He yawned.
You handed him a dirty diaper and smiled as he grimaced.
“You can go back to bed if you want. I can manage by myself.”
“Sweetheart, you just damn near broke your pelvis giving birth to my kid a few days ago. I’m in this from start to finish, and if that means running on caffeine and a prayer, then I’m game. Even for the diapers.”
Dean rummaged through the first drawer of their dresser and pulled out a small onesie covered in colourful dinosaurs. He held it up in front of him and smiled.
“It’s hard to believe how small she is, huh?”
“She didn’t feel so small coming out of me.” You quipped, taking the clothing from him to finally cover the squirming child on the changer, “I’m pretty sure my vagina will never be the same.”
“That’s blasphemy.” Dean gasped playfully, “But seriously, baby, the doctor said that it’ll take a few weeks before you start to feel normal.”
“Normal is subjective when you’re postpartum.”
Holding his baby tight to his chest, Dean lent down and kissed you softly on the lips. His green eyes fluttered up to meet yours.
“Let’s face it, ain’t nothing normal about either of us in the first place.”
#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x female!reader#dean winchester fanfiction#supernatural fanfiction#dad!dean winchester#dad!dean
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Short n' Sweet
1k words. Or; you're not as sneaky as you thought you were.
It’s not so bad sharing a cubicle with Spencer; he brings a new pile of books every day and he lets you borrow whichever you want once he’s done with them - which usually happens before lunch. He never complains when your stuff inevitably ends up over on his side of the desk because god forbid you attempt minimalism once in your life. But the only downside is that Spencer notices way more than he’s given credit for, and he’s not shy about pointing it out.
In other words Spencer Reid knows something is up.
The third time that morning you go up to the kitchenette to get a refill seems to be his breaking point.
“Eighteen”
“Excuse me?” You say startled, not really paying attention to him as you walk back to your desk.
“Since last month the average time you get up from your desk went from ten times a day to eighteen, and at first I thought you weren't sleeping right and upped your caffeine intake but then I noticed you sometimes get up only to get someone else a file even though you never did that before, and even at lunch you seem to be out more often than not, so I thought maybe you were having trouble focusing, and if that’s the case then some simple modifications to your diet could really -”
“Spence!” You cut him off before he could keep going, although the concern doe eyes he was still directing at you made your stomach tense in guilt. It was like being mean to a puppy.
“I really appreciate you looking out for me but honestly I’ve just been feeling more restless, so I go out to jog at lunch and can’t really sit still” You said with a shrug of your shoulders and an apologetic smile “didn’t mean to make you worry.”
“That’s alright” he replied with a tight lipped smile “if you’re interested I could still send you the studies just in case they help”
“Y'know what? Yeah that would be great” You said, and the negative karma from the lie and the absolute knowledge that you would not be reading those studies made you promise yourself that you would get him a super sugary caramel latte tomorrow morning to make up for it.
Later that day at lunch the lie still weighed heavy on your mind.
“I think Spence’s onto us” You said as Aaron slowly kissed a path up your neck to right behind your ear. Usually having his hands slowly caressing your back and his lips anywhere on you rendered your mind completely useless but today the fluorescent light of the file room was buzzing particularly loud in your ear.
“Honey, can we please not talk about Spencer right now? I’m doing some of my best work right now” Aaron said, his voice muffled since he didn’t lift his lips from your neck, his breath tickling your skiing and chipping slowly away at your resolve.
“I mean it, he said something about me getting up from my desk more which is Spencer code for you’re distracted which is actually code for everyone else noticed and since Spence sits right next to me he drew the short stick on having to talk to me about it” You finished out of breath, having worked yourself up about it during the two hours after your talk.
Hotch sighed in defeat, slowly straightening up and looking at you.
“You got all of that from him asking if you’re having trouble focusing?”
“Yes”
“And now you think we should tell the rest of the team” He stated, quite sure by now of your answer.
“Yes”
“Alright” He agreed, squeezing your waist reassuringly.
“Good” You said, your arms slowly going back perch on his shoulders “I mean it’s the least you could do since it’s like 70% your fault”
“Okay how is it not 50/50 here?”
“It would be, except today you wore that dark green shirt I love” You said, playfully running your palms over his chest “so that’s 10% more and you rolled up your sleeves so that’s another 10, at the very least”
“You’re absolutely right, It’s all on me”
“Glad we straighten that out”
“Now, we still have” he looked at his watch 25 minutes before we had to go back to work. Do you want to actually go get some food? There’s a nice place just around the corner from here” He said softly, sneaking a kiss right next to your lips.
“Actually I believe you were in the middle of some of your best work so if you don’t mind I’d like to be the judge of that”
“Excellent choice”
Ten minutes after you got back a takeout order filled with sweet and sour pork got delivered right to your desk. As you caught yourself smiling at it like it was a flower bouquet you couldn’t help but feel Spencer's keen eyes on you letting you know that, indeed he knew something was up.
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner imagine#criminal minds fanfiction#i feel like you can really tell i'm watching sex and the city right now this is way fizzier that the other two
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Final Piece of the Puzzle
Pairing: College!Peter Parker x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~1.5k
Warnings: mostly fluff
Summary: Peter has been trying to find his way after Dr. Strange erased him from everyone on the planet. He goes to college, does his work, and tries to get by without the people from his old life. That is, until he meets you. No matter what kind of spell was done, you can’t forget Peter Parker.
Squares Filled: lost for @spider-man-bingo
Author’s Note: any and all comments are greatly appreciated <3
x
All you need for this weekend is a lot of caffeine and a ton of silence. You have this term paper that is due next week and you haven’t started on it. This weekend will be free of distractions, friends, and everything else in your life. In order to get in the zone, you need coffee and lots of it. There is a coffee shop right next to your dorm that has your favorite iced coffee that only they seemingly know how to make. If you go anywhere else, someone manages to fuck it up. Not them. They know how to do it right.
You walk into the coffee shop that’s not busy and put your order in for two iced coffees, one of which you’ll keep in the fridge. Today is Friday which means you just have to get through two classes and you can start on your paper afterward. After acquiring your coffee, you head for the front door with your head down. You’re not watching where you’re going and almost run into someone, causing your coffee to almost spill all over him.
“I am so sorry,” the man says.
You look up and see chocolate brown eyes and curly outgrown hair. The man has a sort of baby face that makes him look a lot younger than he is, but based on his university sweatshirt, he attends this college like you do. There’s something familiar about this man but you can’t quite place it. Maybe you don’t know him and he has one of those faces.
“No, it’s my fault. I wasn’t watching where I was going. Nothing spilled so you’re okay.”
“Okay,” he nods.
You nod once before stepping aside and walking out of the coffee shop. He turns and watches you walk off with a longing look on his face. Your first class goes by without a hitch, and you’re inside your second class before you know it. Your first class got out later than usual so the only open seats were located in the back. You look to the person to your right and pause when you see it’s the same man as the one you ran into.
“Hi again.” You sit down and look at his surprised look on his face. “What?”
“You remember me?”
“Yeah, I ran into you and almost spilled my coffee.”
“Oh, right,” he chuckles in embarrassment. “My name is Peter. Peter Parker.” You stare at him in a way that makes him start to sweat. “What?”
“Have we met before?”
“No, I don’t think so,” he mumbles.
“Are you sure? You look familiar.” He shrugs shyly and you decide not to make the man more uncomfortable. “I’m Y/N.”
“Nice to meet you,” he smiles.
You try to focus on the class but you keep feeling his eyes on you. You don’t entertain him by confronting him but you know he’s watching you. After class, you quickly leave and meet up with your friends while Peter follows closely behind you. Whatever weird behavior he exhibited during class is out of your mind by the time you meet with your friends. Peter pretends to be busy on his phone, but he’s watching you laugh with your friends.
You look like nothing bad has ever happened to you. You look so happy. How can he ever think to bring you back into his life now that he knows what you look like without him in it? You feel eyes on you and look over at Peter. He quickly turns and walks away from you.
Remember that no distraction rule? Yeah, that went right out the window. You tried to focus on your paper all weekend and got it done, but you kept thinking about Peter. Why is he refusing to leave your mind? You’ve met a lot of people and dated your share of men but none of them has ever stuck to you like Peter has. Have you met him before? If so, where? You’re a freshman in college so high school wasn’t that long ago. You’d remember Peter if he went to your high school.
To celebrate the completion of your paper, you decide to go to the local flower store and splurge on some flowers to liven up your apartment while your roommate is gone. She apprecioates splashes of color in the white apartment, and you both love the smell of the flowers on campus. The only one on campus sells the most beautiful flowers and they’re the only ones who carry your favorite kind of flower, the Franklin Tree Flower. It’s said to only grow on a specific set of trees that are nearly extinct, but this shop has direct access to those flowers.
“Hi, welcome in,” the store owner smiles when you walk in.
“Hi. Do you have the Franklin Tree Flower in stock?”
“Whatever we have out there is what we have. I’m not sure if it’s there or not.”
“Okay, thanks.” You walk around the small store and at every single flower they have but you can’t see the one you want. You’ll take any of these but that happens to be one of your favorites around. Not only is it rare, but it has a super sweet scent to them that you love. You turn the corner and see Peter with some flowers in hand. “Hi, Peter.”
“Oh, hi, Y/N. Pretty flowers, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“What are you looking for in here?”
“It’s a really rare flower; one of my favorites. Not many people have heard of it, but--”
“Franklin Tree Flower?”
You’re stunned into silence. You’ve never met anyone who has loved that flower much less know about it.
“Yeah, actually. How did you know?”
“It’s my favorite, too. I found the last bunch.”
You look down at the flowers in his hands to see four Franklin Tree Flowers.
“Lucky you.”
“I want you to have them,” he says and holds them out for you.
“Oh, I couldn’t. Those are yours.”
“They’re meant for someone special.”
“Why don’t we split them? You take two and I take two?”
“Deal,” he smiles.
He hands over two of the flowers and you inhale their sweet scent.
“Thank you,” you grin.
If you couldn’t get Peter out of your head before, you certainly can’t now. There is no way you don’t know who he is. You feel a sense of safety when you’re near him. There’s something about him that tugs at your heartstrings as if you two have known each other for a long time. No matter how hard you think or how close you are to figuring it out, you can’t seem to get over that hill.
Maybe if you talk to him about this, you might be able to figure out how to cross that hill in your mind. Peter doesn’t live on campus but you two just had a class together so you know he’s around here somewhere. You walk from your last class past the cafeteria and over to where the parking lot is. Peter doesn’t drive but the bike rack is there, and your shoulders sag in relief when you find him there trying to untangle his bike from the others.
He has extra things to carry so he’s trying to tie everything to the back of his bike but as soon as he fits everything together, something falls out and he has to start over.
“You piece of hubble bubble. Come on,” Peter complains.
You halt right there on the sidewalk when you hear his choice of words. You’ve heard that before. There was only one person who would use that instead of cussing. He didn’t like to cuss even though everyone around him did. He liked having friends but only his small circle because he felt safe with them. He trusted them above anyone else. He made new friends in the search to defeat Thanos. After coming back from the snap, he leaned on his friends for support at the loss of Tony Stark and his Aunt May. He tore a hole right into the multiverse and had Dr. Strange erase him from everyone’s mind.
How the hell are you remembering him now? You stumble back from shock and Peter looks up when he hears your outcry.
“Y/N!”
“Peter…”
“Yeah?”
“No, you’re Peter Parker. You helped save the world from Thanos. You brought those other Peter’s to our world. You made everyone forget who you are.” Peter drops everything in his hands and rushes over to you immediately. You fall into his arms and look into his eyes with tears streaming down your cheeks. “You were my boyfriend.”
“How do you remember that? Dr. Strange made it so everyone forgot me.”
“How could I forget you? You’re the love of my life.”
“I can’t believe you remember me. I can’t believe this is happening.”
Peter, with all excitement in his body, pulls you close and kisses you passionately. You keep him close with your arms around his neck and kiss him back with just as much passion.
“I told you I’d come find you,” he whispers.
“I missed you so much,” you giggle through the tears. You pull away from him completely and wipe your tears. “I knew something was missing from my life.”
Peter pulls you in again and kisses you, and everything seems right with the world. It doesn’t matter if everyone else forgets him, you remember and that’s all that matters.
x
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#peter parker#peter parker x reader#peter parker fic#peter parker fanfiction#peter parker fanfic#peter parker fluff#peter parker angst#peter parker fiction#peter parker fan fiction#peter parker fan fic#marvel#marvel fic#marvel fan fiction#marvel fanfic#marvel fanfiction#marvel fluff#mcu fanfiction#marvel fan fic#marvel fiction#mcu
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i doubt that Arata's going to make any major appearances now, but i think it would be so funny if VBS starts travelling and he is made to supervise them, because Ken is busy and tells the kids, "sorry, i am not trusting you guys by yourselves abroad in a million years." so he calls up Arata, since he's travelled before (to America)
Arata is like "yeah, sure. how hard could it be?"
about everything that could go wrong goes wrong.
in the middle of the night, they were all meant to meet at WEG, from where Ken would drive them to the airport. all of them except Toya forgot at least one thing at home and had to go all the way back to retrieve it.
Arata ordered a cup of strong coffee while they all waited for An to come back after running up to her room for the sixteenth time.
at security, An, Akito and Arata seem to accidentally create a "whose jewellery can set off the metal detector more" competition. Toya is highly disappointed in Akito. and just before the trip, Emu had given Kohane a tiny little robot that has recorded messages from all of W x S, to remember them by while she's away!! so cute!!
it gets Kohane pulled away to be searched.
not even anything dodgy in it, it's just as if the machines could detect the Made In Rui Kamishiro's Room essence. Kohane was terrified. it took Arata, Akito and Toya to hold An back from fighting security and getting them all arrested. Rui woke up at home a few hours later to fifty missed calls from Akito, An and the airline.
Arata bought another coffee at duty free afterwards.
oh, and since i'm silly about my headcanon of Iori and Arata being twins, STANDOUT happens to be doing a world tour at the same time. Arata prayed he would not see his sister at the airport. he is not God's favourite. she sees him struggling with the kids and immediately takes the piss. he retorts that he hopes her plane crashes. nearly gets jumped by the other band members (minus Mio)
he needed two coffees to recover from that.
Kohane is super excited about taking as many photos as she can while in the airport, wanting to capture everything. Arata sees her struggling with holding the camera while dragging her suitcase and decides to be nice, offering to hold it. she accidentally calls him nii-san and he feels joy for the first time, thinking that maybe it's all worth it. which is very quickly dissolved when An takes him holding Kohane's bag as an invitation to drop her bag on him ("cheers, Arata!!"), followed by Akito. Toya tries to scold them and help carry all the things, though sheepishly finds that he does not have the strength to.
"why the fuck do i bother." ~ Arata Tono, 2024, on his fifth coffee.
Arata gets a call from Souma checking up on him and is so relieved that he's positively beaming (and maybe even tearing up) while he walks away to answer.
"ehhh, he hasn't smiled at us like that all night, even though we've been so good!!" ~ An. she and Akito tease the hell out of his relationship with Souma when he returns.
while waiting to board the plane, he has to deal with standing next to a bickering An and Akito, the sleepiness starting to really get to the both of them, making them more snappy. Toya is starting to really realise that flights involve... heights. and is staring into space while having a silent panic attack. Kohane unintentionally wanders off to go take more photos, nearly giving Arata a heart attack when he thinks he's lost her. or that might've just been the caffeine.
he is unable to buy another cup of coffee at this time.
the second Arata gets into his plane seat, he goes "do not talk to me" to all of them and immediately falls asleep. some poor flight attendant has to shake him awake to ask him to put his belt on because he'd forgotten. he starts sobbing right then and there.
he gets to order his now hourly coffee from that same flight attendant a bit later.
he tries to drift off once more, though is awoken again, this time by poor Toya in the middle seat digging his fingernails into both his and Akito's arms from fear, like a cat, while the plane takes off.
Arata downs some more coffee and reflects every one of his life's decisions while his arm is taken hostage.
An, who is much too peppy at this sort of hour, in Arata's opinion, reaches across the aisle every ten minutes to shake his free arm and ask "are we there yet??" so he makes Toya keep an eye on how many exact miles away they are and regularly report it to her, to both distract him from the height and satisfy An's curiosity.
when they arrive at their destination, VBS is ecstatic. Arata promptly goes to his room in the hotel and passes out for about twelve hours.
he gets offered coffee during breakfast and feels sick at the thought... before remembering that he's with this lot for a good few days and quickly accepts.
#“Arata develops a caffeine addiction” - the event#fun fact *i* was shaken awake by a flight attendant once. so embarrassing#this is so stupid#ace's random thoughts :)#project sekai#pjsk#arata tono#kohane azusawa#an shiraishi#akito shinonome#toya aoyagi#rui kamishiro#vivid bad squad#vbs#vivibasu
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