#it or maybe it’s my body craving more weed in the way caffeine addicts crave more coffee bc it’s a similar level of addiction except weed

[mysterious-corpse]

I think somethings rlly fucking wrong with me

[lovemesomesurveys]

● Name something you lost or gave away that can never be replaced. A lot of time wasted.  “I wasted my time...”   ● What 5 websites do you visit often, and why? Tumblr, YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest.  ● Name a totally useless possession and how you came to acquire it. Some would consider knickknacks and collectibles and stuff useless, and I mean yeah they just sit on a shelf, but I like stuff like that.  ● What music album would be used for a movie about your life? I don’t know. ● List your bad habits and/or addictions and what you have tried to rid yourself of them. I got a lot of bad habits. As for addictions, caffeine and my pain medicine. I don’t abuse it, I take it as prescribed, but after so long your body develops a dependency. I remember several years ago I tried to cut out caffeine. It lasted a couple days, I think. haha. The headaches are no joke.

● If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be, and what would you do if later on you changed your mind? There’s a long list of things I’d want to change, but I mean if I could have good health (mentally and physically) that would make a big difference. I think some other changes would follow. I can’t imagine I’d ever change my mind about that. ● What are your religious beliefs? Have they changed, or have they always stayed the same? I’m a Christian now. Up until 4 years ago I was atheist and then agnostic.  ● When was your last food craving, and what did you crave? I’ve been wanting Doritos tacos from Taco Bell lately. ● Who was your first crush and what made them special? This kid named Philip when I was in 3rd grade. He was a grade or two above me. He and I were turning the jump rope for people during this event my elementary school had every year called, Jump Rope for Heart. It was to get people active and raise awareness. Anyway, he was across from me holding the other end of the rope and I just thought he was cute haha.  ● Name your most cherished childhood memory. I have a lot of those. I loved my childhood. It wasn’t without struggle or obstacles, but for some reason those things aren’t what stand out the most. I was a strong, resilient kid. Kid me would be so ashamed of how weak I am now. ● Turn to an entry in your journal or diary from a year or more ago. What has changed and what has stayed the same since then? I don’t feel like looking back on old surveys right now. ● What is one thing nobody knows about you because nobody ever cared to ask? Hmm. ● Robert Frost write a poem titled The Road Not Taken. Name a road you’ve always wanted to travel. Where do you hope it takes you, and what might you see on the way? Wait, literally or metaphorically? I mean, metaphorically I’d like to take the road that takes me to working on myself and leading to some happiness and success. That’d be nice.  ● Name one thing you always wanted to do, but haven’t. What has prevented you from doing it? Uhh there’s a lot of things. I feel like I’ve wasted so much time in my life each passing year. I’m just wasting away. I want to just...live. Travel more. Do something with my life. My physical health has been a contributing factor, but ultimately it’s me. It’s my mental health. That affects me more than anything else. ● Write about your first kiss. Was it everything you wished or hoped it would be? It happened behind the drama department at my high school. It unexpected and awkward, but it was my first kiss so it was all I knew. I was so giddy about having had my first kiss it didn’t matter haha. ● What was the worst mistake or decision you have ever made in life? What could you have done differently? Oh jeez. I have a lot of regrets. One that weighs heavily on me in recent years relates to my health. I’m very stubborn. I should have taken better care of myself. I should have neglected certain things. Some things don’t just go away, they get worse. And here I am, still not taking care of myself like I should be. Each passing year... ● What song was stuck in your head recently, and what were you doing at the time that made you think of it? I Love Me by Demi Lovato. I just really like the song.

● Write about something you now know that you wish you knew earlier in life. How could this knowledge have helped you? Just going back to the big thing that’s been weighing heavily on my mind these past few years that I talked about up there. ● Write about your greatest fear. Death, losing loved ones, never getting better/getting worse, and never doing anything with my life. ● Name one thing you feel brings out the good in people. Hmm. ● Describe a time in your life when everything turned out fine, despite the odds. I mean, there have been some times where things turned out to be not as bad as I thought they would be.  ● If you invented a device that could fix one problem you are facing right now, would you use it? What problem would you like to solve? I’ve talked about it enough.  ● Write about the last time you spoke to your best friend. What did you talk about? Last night when my mom got home from work. She was just telling me about stuff that happened at work and the latest Coronavirus news. It’s a wild time right now. All the cancellations of events, school campuses closing, and empty shelfs because people are stockpiling on hand sanitizer, face masks, and toilet paper. Italy is quarantined. I’ve never witnessed anything like this. ● Describe a time you felt alone. I feel that way a lot. I don’t spend a lot of time physically alone, but I still feel alone a lot. ● Name something you found; what was it and where did you find it? Uhh earlier I found a new ASMR channel on YouTube to watch haha. ● What’s on your calendar for tomorrow? I have a doctor appointment.  ● What is the most annoying sound you have ever heard? Eating sounds make my skin crawl.  ● Describe your first job. I’ve never had one.  ● What is the one thing you cannot live without? Besides oxygen, food, and water; my family. And coffee. That doesn’t get lumped into food or water, coffee gets its own honorable mention.  �� Quote the nicest thing anyone has ever said about you. Lane said I was strong, beautiful, brave, and rocked red hair like nobody’s business. :D ● Are you afraid of the dark? Why or why not? I can’t sleep if it’s completely dark or quiet, which is why I sleep with the TV on. I’d be scared if the electricity went out and it was dark if I was home alone. I wouldn’t go anywhere alone at night. Even with with someone I’m heightened alert. ● Describe the longest amount of time you have ever been away from home. A week. ● Write about a recent adventure or travels. I went to Disneyland for a few days last month. It was awesome. ● Who did you idolize growing up? My mom and grandma. And some celebrities at the time that were around my age like Hilary Duff. ● Name a celebrity or famous person you wish would take you out on a date. Alexander Skarsgard. ● Describe your daily routine when you get out of bed in the morning. Take my medicine, use the restroom, have coffee.  ● Name one thing you have always been good at doing. Jumping to the worst case scenarios. ● What is your favorite season, and why? Fall and winter. I love the weather, the clothes, the scents, the holidays, and just the coziness of it all. ● What was the title of the last book you read? I’m currently reading, “The Girl That Vanished” by A.J. Rivers. It’s the sequel to, “The Girl in Cabin 13.” ● List your biggest regrets. I talked about one of them already. That’s enough for today. ● Have you ever seen a ghost? No. ● Describe your note-taking style and habits. Bullet points, underlining, asterisks, and highlighting.  ● Do you believe that we are all here for a reason? What might the reason be? Yes. You have to figure that out for yourself, we all have a different purpose. I’m still trying to figure mine out. ● What comes to mind when someone uses the phrase prolonging the magic? I’ve never heard that phrase. ● Have you ever done something just to feel the danger, or to feel alive? Drinking, smoking weed, and taking a ride in a truck at night on a backroad at night near a levee. That was scary, but definitely an adrenaline rush.  ● What is your favorite cliché? Actions speak louder than words. ● What are all your thoughts on god? I believe in God.  ● How do rainy days make you feel? I love rainy days. I do the same things I do any other day, but it’s just cozy. The sound is relaxing. ● What is the most amount of money you have had at one time? A couple grand. ● Write a celebrity crush list. Alexander Skarsgard. ● What is the most amazing thing you have ever seen, heard, or experienced? I couldn’t pick just one thing. ● What effect does music have on you? It can perk me up, it can give me a little energy if I need to clean, it can make me sad, it can make me zone out, it can make me relax.  ● What did you learn today? What did you learn yesterday? Uhhh. ● What 5 traits do people first notice when they meet you for the first time? I’m sure the very first thing they notice is I’m in a wheelchair. Then probably how thin I am. Then perhaps my hair and my black rimmed glasses. Maybe my freckles. ● Have you ever carved your name or initials into a tree or stone? No. ● Does Never Never Land really exist? No, sadly.  “Cause Neverland is home, to lost boys like me...” ● Where is a great place to get breakfast? This local place that’s known more for their burgers, fries, and shakes, but actually have bomb breakfast, too. I love their country gravy. ● List 3 things that went right (or wrong) today. It’s only 2 in the morning, but so far I had ramen, I’m finishing up my Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink, and I’m watching/listening to an ASMR video. Not a bad start, but we’ll see how the rest of the day goes... I have a doctor appointment later that I’m not looking forward to. Afterwards my mom and I are going grocery shopping and I’ll probably pick up Wingstop on the way home. It’s been hot lately and I’ve had a nagging headache the past couple days, so I hope that isn’t the case today. ● What is the best method of travel, and in what ways have you traveled? Car and plane.  ● If you could give the world just one thing, what would it be? Peace. ● What were your best and worst subjects in school or college? English throughout school, with the addition of psychology in college. My worst was always math. I struggled with science, too. Philosophy was really fucking hard. ● Describe the most outrageous thing anyone has dared you to do. I haven't really been dared to do anything too outrageous.  ● Ice cream: chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry? Strawberry, but vanilla is good as well.  ● What historical events happened the year you were born? Ted Bundy was electrocuted.  ● Pick up a random object that has special meaning to you and describe it in as much detail as possible. I’m on my bed and there’s 2 giraffe stuffed animals, one is a big squishy one. I love all my giraffe stuffed animals, which there are a LOT of. ● Write about a recent visit to a museum or art gallery. I visited a Walt Disney museum a couple years ago. It was really cool. ● What food items do you consider staples in a well-balanced diet? I’m the wrong person to ask about well balanced diets. Well balanced for me is Wingstop, ramen, this pizza from my favorite local pizza place, scrambled eggs, and coffee. haha. ● Describe your feelings in regards to an issue in todays society, and what would be done to fix it. I talked about the coronavirus, which is a big issue and hot topic currently, and my feelings to it already. ● If you had only one wish, what would you wish for? Cures for all diseases. ● If you could tell the world just one thing, what would you say? Wash your hands!  ● Share a dirty little secret about yourself (or someone else). Nah. ● Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Noooo. ● Name something you would like to devote more time to seeing or doing. I need to devote time to taking care of myself and taking some necessary steps. ● What is the name of your favorite book, magazine, or publication? I have too many favorite books. ● Describe your first car. I’ve never had my own car. I don’t drive. ● Thunderstorms… Inspiring or scary? I love them.

[rough-and-whump]

RWT: Drugged Edition

I know I did a RWT: Spoken Word on drugged scenarios, but I was so inspired by a recent post from @thewhumpster that I needed to write a whole other collection of whumpy thoughts.

This post is informed by my own experience with drugs (weed, alcohol, painkillers), my research as an aspiring psychonaut, and then the rest is just whumpy fluff because why not?

[There’s a bit of an “Author’s Note” about drugs at the bottom - but for now - to the whump!]

Psychedelics/Hallucinogens

A whumpee who is very experienced in psychedelics/hallucinogens/harder drugs is dosed with something he knows is bad news. He’s tried it once before, cautiously and with a lot of preparation, but it was still horrible and he never felt tempted to try it again. He’s been dosed with the equivalent of a heroic dose, and the come up is just starting - he knows panicking will make it worse, but he’s so fucking terrified. (might do a write up of this with the Sarge’s surprisingly delinquent bf, Dai)

A caretaker - who appears to the team to be a straight-and-narrow type - is thrown into the spotlight when the whumpee comes back having just been dosed with their first psychedelic. The whumpee is already falling to anxiety and spiraling into a bad trip. No one knows what to do and the tension in the room is making it worse. The caretaker breaks their silence, carries the whumpee into a small room, cozies it up and proceeds to trip sit of the fucking year. They reassure the whumpee, make them comfortable, talk about whatever (idk yet what a shroom convo sounds like), etc. They manage to get the whumpee calm, keep them reassured, etc. Finally, the whumpee falls asleep and the caretaker can leave them to sleep - with every intention of coming back in just a second - so they leave the room. Once the door closes behind them, they sink to the floor, shaking and breaking down. Finally letting themselves express the fear and terror they felt the entire time, but forced down so that they wouldn’t trigger a bad trip for the whumpee.

A whumpee’s terror at what’s actually fairly mundane things, amplified by a strong hallucinogen that induces paranoia and fear.

A heavily drugged whumpee is sent out - unarmored and unarmed - into the middle of some sort of active battlefield. They’re delirious, starved, sleep deprived, and barely able to walk. Visuals, distortions and complete removal of a sense of reality overwhelm them. Can the whumper feel what’s going on? Are they afraid? What do you think they see? What does their side of the fight do? Are they even on a side in this fight?

Painkillers

Our whumpee is a high-powered businesswoman. Some sort of executive, she’s the sort of woman who commands a room the second her high-heels meet the marble flooring. But she’s not only addicted to painkillers, she can’t function without them. Her doctor has told her she’ll die of liver failure before she’s 50 if she keeps going the way she is. She has trouble sleeping, struggles with heart palpitations, and can’t even remember what it’s like not on the pills. But she craves the light-headed disorientation that comes with an excessive dose. She needs it. Can’t deal with all these people, all the dresses, all the fucking high heels, without them. 

A poor naive cinnamon roll whumpee accidentally (maybe a mislabeled bottle, or they grabbed a handful and went for it out of desperation) takes too many painkillers. As they start to feel loopy, they freak out. It’s like they can feel their heart pounding, they feel like their eyes are wigging out, and they don’t know if they’re walking straight. 

Fictional/Fantasy Drugs

[Fictional] A drug enhances Powers, and a poor whumpee has been injected. Do they suffer from horrible side-effects as their Powers increase? Are the side effects from their Power or the drug? Do they struggle to control their powers and end up doing something they regret? Or making a costly mistake?

[Fantasy] A friend in the party is a lycan - but it’s a secret, and no one knows. All they know is she brews a special tea and enjoys it nightly, and drinks it nearly constantly some days (DC 12 Investigation reveals those are days surrounding the full moon). A curious little rascal in the party sneaks some of the tea - and discovers it has horrible consequences for non-lycans. How does the party react?

[Fictional] In a sci-fi world, there’s a rare drug that’s actually a sort of self-contained virus. A naive rookie (here comes #FuturePD again) tries to infiltrate a local dealer’s circle and gets caught. He’s injected with the drug and he’s entirely unfamiliar with how to navigate it - what’s his reaction? What are the sensations? Is he suggestable irl? Is he locked in his own mind with his body free to control?

Bonus Scenarios!

Bonus to the Psychedelics/Hallucinogens 2: The team confronts the caretaker after check up number 3 on the sleeping whumpee. They demand to know why/how the caretaker knows so much about this (maybe they’re suspicious that the caretaker might’ve been working in league with the whumper?). The caretaker admits that they use psychedelics regularly, including microdosing, which is the only way they could keep up with the team. Considering caretaker is their key tactician, this surprises the group - they’ve always been the “smart one”. The caretaker is afraid of the team’s reactions, considering they think that everyone else is straight and narrow types. 

Bonus to Psychedelics/Hallucinogens 2: The Caretaker reveals to the team later that they were raised to think using anything “additional” was not only a weakness but a sin. The drugs Caretaker uses now are almost a sign of their progress in breaking out of the “conditioning” their family put them through growing up.

[Author’s Note time: I am getting all preachy and all political. If that’s not your jam, gtfo quick. Don’t @ me, bruh. If that be your jam, tho, proceed with caution and remind yourself that I’m some idiot on Tumblr and not a fuckin’ doctor. 

Continued under the break.] 

So, I do drugs. Weed, namely, but I do intend to trip on shrooms soon.

Growing up, I never even knew where to get weed. Since legalization I’ve been using it more and more. I’ve found many benefits from it and it’s changed how I think about drugs.

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that caffeine, tobacco, and alcohol are all drugs. Sometimes it’s easy to accept side-effects from drugs we can buy from the pharmacy. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that drugs like weed, LSD, shrooms, and others have legitimate and actual medical use.

That said, it’s also easy to wave a magic wand or put on green glasses and think “hey, it’s a medicine, so I can use it for anything”.

There’s a difference between using a drug as recreation or medication and abusing it to the point of dependency.

I used to pop 4 platinum robax in the parking lot before I dragged myself into the office (this was years ago now) and have 4-12 more throughout the day. Because the mindless disorientation made it easier to deal with the shit I was seeing at work and the abuse my bosses doled out. I continued this for 3 months. 

I would almost always be dizzy. It became something like my goal to always be somewhat “off”. Because then at least I wasn’t confronting my reality.

That didn’t work out well for me. I had to go on medical leave within 6 months. I was a wreck physically for about a year, and it’s only recently that I feel like I’ve finally gotten all that robax out of my system.

Getting out of that shithole, getting psychological help, and getting a diagnosis for Generalized Anxiety Disorder did help. And now, after two years of pharmaceutical SSRIs and therapy, I’m beginning to transition away from pharmaceutical SSRIs. I don’t want to have to take drugs my whole life, but if I must, I’d rather take CBD oil made out of a plant and MCT oil than something synthesized in a lab that has a marked chance of giving me liver failure, increased risk of heart disease, etc.

Seeking psychological help is healthy - it doesn’t mean you’re “weak” or you’re “crazy” or anything like that. It just means you need some help from a professional life-problem solver. Who happens to know how to talk you in circles enough that your own brain starts finally listening to you and not your insecurities and demons.

Anyways. That’s it for Rough being a pontificating bitch. I have whump to do.

Be safe, do drugs, practice harm reduction.

[timmyteehill]

First Meeting || Tee & Kami

Discord thread featuring: Tee & @kamidesai

When: sometime 6 years ago

Where: diner 

Mentions:  N/A

Description: the first time Tee and Kami met

Trigger Warnings: none i think?

Tee

If there was one thing Tee absolutely loved, it was diner food. Whether it was waffles or pancakes, he just knew that he would find something to satisfy his cravings and so it wasn’t surprising that after a long day of sending in various college applications, he needed a little pick me up. Instead of going to the usual he went to a different one a little closer to his house and was glad to note that it wasn’t too busy. He took a seat at the booth and ordered himself waffles and a chocolate milkshake and got his phone to play around on while he waited for his order.12 October 2020

Kami

Kam had been working at Dreamer’s now for a little over a year, cooking as much as he could even though he was never allowed to fully take the reigns. He dreamed of being a head chef one day, but until that opportunity arose, he was going to keep working on his certificate to tattoo. He grabbed the next ticket when it came, putting on a new pair of plastic gloves as he looked out past the window, and saw the most beautiful boy he’d ever seen in his life sitting alone. Why was he alone?? HOW was he alone? He didn’t even realize he was staring until the other turned to look at him, which had Kam darting away from view as if that would somehow cover his ass.

Tee

Tee looked up from his phone when the milkshake was placed on the counter in front of him. He thanked the server and his eyes caught those of a boy looking at him through the kitchen window. Tee didn’t have much time to look him over because the other ducked away from view the second he realised he was caught staring. What the hell? Passing it off as a fluke, Tee shook his head and took a sip from his milkshake. Stranger things had happened to him and he was more amused with the way the other guy ran away, only making it more obvious that he was staring in the first place.

Kami

Shit. He’d been seen. Kami could feel his heart racing, and yeah, he managed to make it about five minutes before he was back at the window for another order, and was once again finding his eyes focusing on the same boy. He was just...so...yeah. He was beautiful, and Kam was getting so fucking distracted. Why was he alone? WAS he actually single, or did he just enjoy having a milkshake with himself? All of these things he should be thinking to himself without looking at the man, and yet he was still standing there. Staring. Like a fucking creep.

Tee

Tee looked up from his phone and...was that the same guy staring at him? Yeah, it definitely was. He tried not to make it obvious that he caught him looking so that he could look him over as well and Tee definitely liked what he saw. With his dark brown eyes and long dark hair, he was definitely his type. Not that it explained why he kept staring at him. Tee finally had enough of so seeing and made direct eye contact, talking before the other could make a quick exit. “Can I help you with something?”

Kami

Kami didn’t normally blush, but he was turning a million shades of red when tee finally came up to him and asked if he could help him with something. Shit. He hadn’t been smooth at all - and here he really thought he’d been stealthy by ducking quickly from the window. “Uhhh...” he looked like an animal backed into a corner, scared shitless, almost to the point of shaking. “Honestly? Um. I was just wondering if like....” smoke a little more weed, Kam. “Maybe you’d wanna get. A coffee. Sometime.” He managed to choke out, and then wince in anticipation of rejection.

Tee

Tee looked at the other with raised eyebrows at first, hearing the way he was stumbling over his words and uncertain over where this was all going. Pretty soon they were both bright red though, Tee turning into a tomato when he realised that he was being asked out on a date. Because that’s what this was right? He wasn’t just saying this to be nice. Why would anyone ask a stranger out to get a coffee if not for a date though? Maybe he was just confusing him for someone else though, because this sort of thing didn’t happen to Tee. He wasn’t about to waste the opportunity though. “Oh um...yeah, sure. I’d like that.”

Kami

Honestly? Kam was ready to be shot down instantly, so the fact that the pretty male said he’d like that...fucking SCORE. maybe he did have game after all. No. He definitely didn’t. This was sheer luck. “Really?” Kam, don’t shoot your shot. Act like you’ve done this before. “I’m sorry I stared at you, but like...you’re —“ get it out. “You’re so attractive, and I didn’t think you’d be into me.”

Tee

Tee almost looked around to see if he had gotten the right person or not. This sort of thing didn’t really happen to him. He wasn’t used to being asked on a date at all, let alone by someone as hot as him. And to be told he’s attractive? Unheard of. His high school experience was still having its effect on him to this day and it was hard not to think he was being made fun of when something like this happened to him. Did this guy not own a mirror or something? Who wouldn’t be attracted to him? Maybe Tee should play it cool though, not make it too obvious. “Oh I - thanks.” Thanks? Really?? He couldn’t believe that was the best he could do. “I mean, why wouldn’t I be into you? You’re really attractive.” That didn’t sound much better.

Kami

Kam certainly didn’t think he was ugly, but he was also beaten down thanks to his family. He was never good enough, was asked to leave, and completely disowned. Of course he thought he was less than, especially since he had yet to have a real boyfriend. It just felt like he was never going to be good enough at anything in life. His goals, and dreams seemed so far away. To this boy though, he didn’t have any of that background knowledge. To Tee, Kam could have whatever he wanted for all he knew. “I mean, I did kill some people.” He joked with a nervous laugh, and then looked panicked when he realized that wasn’t the best thing to say. “Just kidding. Uh. Wanna go grab a coffee when I get off here in about ten?”

Tee

That was...an interesting way of flirting. “Does that mean you’re an expert at hiding the bodies then?” Tee probably shouldn’t have kept that joke going because now he just sounded like some psychopath lover or something. Which he was not. “But uh, yeah. That would be great. I’ll just go finish my food while I wait for you. And um...yeah just let me know when you’re done.” He was awkward as fuck bit so was the other so he didn’t feel as bad about it anymore. “I’m Tee, by the way. Figured it’s only fair considering we’re going on a da - coffee outing.” Way to go Tee.

Kami

Kam smiled when Tee asked if that meant he was good at hiding the bodies, a weird thing to smile in response to, but how could he not? They both were extremely awkward, and it was kind of adorable. “Tee. Nice to meet you. Is that short for something?” He felt the need to ask, because of course Kam, of all people, was going to be so weird. “I’m Kami. You can call me Kam. It’s easier.” He smirked.

Tee

Tee was so used to using his nickname that sometimes he forgot it wasn’t actually his name. “My name’s Timothy but no one really calls me that.” There was a time when he went by Timmy but when people at school starting using that name to make up rumours which were not so nice, his best friend came up with Tee. Sort of like a new identity. “Kam, got it. That one vowel makes all the difference”, he teased.

Kami

“Timothy. Good to know.” He stored that away, definitely able to see himself calling Tee that in the future, just because he was annoying like that. They ended up at a coffee shop as soon as Kam was finished, happy now that he could let his hair down, though he hated he probably still smelled like diner food. At least that was a good smell. “What’s your coffee order? This is important.” He watched the other with intensity, like this was the most important question he could ever answer.

Tee

Tee finished his food and milkshake while waiting for Kami then they walked together to the coffee shop. Somehow the other managed to look even better with his hair down and Tee had to stop his mind from wandering to thoughts of running his fingers through it. He never thought that he would feel so much pressure over his coffee order but somehow he did, wanting to get it right. “I usually go for plain black coffee? Maybe a double shot espresso if I’m feeling a little wild.” Tee was kind of a caffeine addict so the stronger the coffee, the better in his books.

Kami

“I admire that.” Kam nodded at Tee’s answer, because it was solid. “I like flavored coffee, but I consider myself to be a coffee purist.” He air quoted at the other male, and the realized he probably needed to tone it back some. He really was...quite eccentric, and not everyone’s taste. This boy was so fucking cute though, and he really REALLY wanted to impress him. “Should I get you a double shot then, or is today not a wild kind of day?” He asked with a small smile.

Tee

Considering someone as hot as Kami was talking to him and they were hanging out together, Tee considered quite the wild day. “I guess we’ll go with double shot. It’s been pretty wild so far”, he teased. “So what kind of flavored coffee are we talking about? Because I don’t think we can hang out if you say something like strawberry.” If Kam said he loved strawberry flavored coffee, Tee would just have to throw himself out if a window for ruining his chance.

Kami

“Strawberry??” Kam looked at the other with slight shock on his face, trying to wrap his brain around how that could even be a thing. “People actually drink strawberry coffee? That’s gonna be a pass from me.” He admitted while holding up a hand, and then looked over the coffee menu for more suitable flavors that he could mention. “I was more referring to the typical like, caramel, vanilla, hazelnut - y’know, shit like that. The off brand coffee stuff like the macchiatos and latte’s.” He informed the other, realizing that discussing coffee flavors probably wasn’t the most stimulating first date conversation, but the words just came so easily with Tee. He could already talk to him about anything, and that was good, right? “So, Timothy, where are you from?” Of course he was gonna he the one to fill name him.

Tee

Tee wasn’t sure if strawberry flavored coffee was actually a thing but people could come up with the weirdest things so he wouldn’t be surprised. It was the same thing as someone who ordered a black coffee only to add six teaspoons of sugar. What was the point? Getting into a coffee and sugar debate on a first date (this was a first date, right?) probably wasn’t the best idea so he bit his tongue. “I have no idea but since you seem to be just as against it as me, I guess I can keep talking to you”, he teased. He narrowed his eyes at the name used and bumped their shoulders together. “Careful, that could get you in trouble.” Kami was lucky Tee thought he was so good looking...and that he wasn’t used to guys being interested in him. “I’m from here actually. Kingsboro born and raised.”

Kami

Kami thought this guy was probably the most fucking adorable thing he’d ever seen. The way he warmed Kam for calling him Timothy. Cute. Ugh. “Oh, cool! I’m from Manhattan.” He pretended to flip his hair over his shoulder, like he knew he was from the upscale side of life. That wasn’t exactly true, they lived in the kind of shit part of Manhattan as far as location, and size of their tiny apartment. “I moved here as soon as I turned eighteen though, when I got this job. I like it here so far. People are really fuckin’ nice.” He smirked, looking across the table at his date. “And cute.”

Tee

Tee wasn’t sure whether he should assume that the other was well off or if he was just doing it as a joke. Not that it made much of a difference to him either way. “Are you sure we’re living in the same place?” he joked. “I wouldn’t exactly call the people around here nice.” There were exceptions, like with everything, but sometimes people could be very rude. Although Tee could probably include himself in that. And yet he would never even dream of moving away from Kingsboro. It was his home. As much as he tried to keep himself from doing so, Tee could feel himself turning bright red at the compliment which was clearly directed at him. “I guess some people around here are so attractive that you can’t complain”, he said, directing it right back to Kami.

Kami

Kami smiled when Tee kind of returned the compliment, both of their “compliments” very roundabout, but it somehow worked for them. They were total opposites in a lot of ways, it felt like, but it was in a way that complimented each other. Kami was trying not to get too excited about this, but that was kind of hard when his dating life had been so shit his whole life. He was just ready to finally have something to make all of this shit he was going through, and had gone through, worth fighting. “I can only hope. I’m gonna go get you that coffee!” He announced, looking at the other male with a wink before he was darting up to the front, and ordering them both a coffee, Tee’s of course without anything in it. Oh, and a double shot, because why not? “So, tell me about you. You already know I cook. What do you do?” Kam asked as soon as he sat back down, and handed Tee his beverage. Small talk sucked, but he did genuinely want to know more about the boy.

Tee

Tee watched as the other went to get him his coffee, smirking when he came back with a double shot. Apparently they both thought it was turning out to be a wild day. If anyone told him that he would be going for breakfast only to end up on a date, he would have laughed in their faces. And yet here he was. What shocked him even more was that he was enjoying himself. Small talk might not always work but he knew it was necessary in order to get to know each other. “I’m kinda in between things right now”, he admitted. “I’m sending in a lot of college applications and hoping I get accepted somewhere. I want to go into counseling.”

Kami

Kami admittedly was a little jealous. He’d always wanted to go to college, well, culinary school to be more specific. If only his parents had been willing to support that instead of only medical school. Kami would kill someone as a doctor, he was sure of it. “Counseling! I like that, that’s cool.” He nodded, and then looked down at his coffee. Don’t be awkward don’t be awkward. “Are you the friend that’s always giving advice then?”

Tee

Considering how many times Tee was told that his ambitions made him seem like a complete loser, it was nice to be told the opposite for once. “Thanks, hopefully I get in somewhere.” His grades were good and his parents already told him they were willing to help him out but he knew that wasn’t everything. So much went into getting accepted. Tee huffed out a laugh at the question and shrugged. “I guess? I don’t know...I like to think I give good advice but it’s just different when it’s someone you know well and not a complete stranger. You know what I mean?”

Kami

Kam hoped Tee didn’t mind the invasive questions, but that’s what you were supposed to do when getting to know someone, right? Kam didn’t have much experience dating, and that much had to be obvious. He couldn’t believe they were even doing this in the first place. When he first laid eyes on the boy, he didn’t expect to even get to speak to him, let along actually have him say yes to a date. He was fully winging it at this point. “Yeah, I know what you mean. Being like, unbiased, makes a difference.” He nodded, looking at Tee through his lashes. “I really wanna go to culinary school, but I’m learning tattooing in the mean time. I love to doodle, and I think it would be fun.”

Tee

“Exactly! And when you don’t know someone there’s not the same worry about messing up and hurting someone you care about.” That probably wasn’t the way a therapist should think but he hadn’t even been accepted to college yet so sue him. “Culinary school? That sounds really nice. And in the meantime you’re getting experience at the diner? I’m kind of hopeless at cooking.” He didn’t know much about culinary school and cooking wasn’t his area at all. The last time he attempted to cook something, Tee almost ended up burning the kitchen down and he was now under strict instruction by his parents never to try that again. “I’ve always wanted to get a tattoo but I’m too scared.”

Kami

Kam just nodded along to Tee’s words, because honestly, the man could be talking about murdering someone, and he’d still look like he was of great interest. He liked this guy, and he wasn’t even sure why yet, there was just a connection there he couldn’t explain. His expression softened when Tee mentioned wanting to get a tattoo, but that he was too scared, finding that to be maybe the most adorable thing he’d ever heard. “Don’t be scared. It’s not that bad, I promise. Once you have your first one, you’ll want more. Start out with something small.” He encouraged, still staring at the other as he sipped on his coffee.

Tee

“Oh yeah, I would definitely start with something small if I ever get the courage to go for it. I’m not a big fan of big tattoos, at least not on myself”, he admitted. “I almost let my friend convince me to go for it once on a drunk night out but then I stopped myself at the last second.” His first time getting a tattoo should be something he actually remembered and not a drunk mistake. Tee was clearly getting more comfortable around the other by the second, which was clear in the way that he was getting more talkative. There was just something comforting about Kami that made him feel like he could talk without any judgement.

Kami

Kami enjoyed listening to Tee talk. Mostly because he could just stare at him, and pretend like this was actually going to go somewhere. He always seemed to have people somewhat interested in him at first because of the way he looked, but then once they really got to know Kam, they went running. He didn’t want that to happen with Tee. He was cute, and he really felt like there might be a connection here. “Well, I’ll have my tattoo license here soon if you want me to go ahead and just experiment on you.” He joked, smiling to himself afterwards because he thought he was funny.

Tee

Tee chuckled and went along with it, although he doubted he would ever have the guts to get a tattoo. “Sure, let me know when you get it and maybe I’ll let you try it out on me.” He also wasn’t sure they would be seeing each other again. It’s not like Tee was the luckiest when it came to dating so he wouldn’t be surprised if this was the first and last time he saw Kami, even though he didn’t want that to be the case. They seemed to get on well and Tee wanted to know more about the other. He could only hope that he didn’t ruin it before it even started.

Kami

Kami was surprised that Tee was playing along with his little suggestion, and not looking at him like he was bat shit crazy. It’s not like Kam wasn’t used to that reaction anyway. He was more than aware that he was...different. After they talked for awhile, Kam decided to shift in his seat, begging a little more bold as his comfort level seemed to rise. “Would it be forward of me to go ahead and ask for a like real date?” He asked timidly, pushing some dark hair out of his face as he went along. “Maybe we can go to dinner sometime?”

Tee

Kami was like no one he ever met before but that wasn’t a bad thing. It almost felt like a breath of fresh air for him and it was nice not to have to worry so much about what he thought. Tee was so used to having to think about his every action because of the way people treated him in high school so this meant a lot to him. And yet there was still a part of him which felt scared that this was a one time thing. So when Kami asked if he would be interested in more, Tee jumped at the opportunity. “Yes!” He coughed a little awkwardly when he realised he was probably showing a little too much excitement. “I mean...yeah, that would be nice.”

Kami

Kam broke out into wide smile when Tee answered him so quickly, feeling his heart swell, because he just...he really hadn’t expected this. He thought for SURE Tee would be completely over this after a few words were exchanged, maybe make up some excuse as to why he couldn’t do this again, and Kam would go home never hearing from the boy again. God, Tee would probably even avoid the diner after that. Sad. Why was he thinking like that?? “Perfect. Um. Can I have your phone?” Tell him why Kam, you sound INSANE. “I can put my number in it.” He clarified.

Tee

Tee could only hope that he didn’t scare Kam too much with his eagerness. He just couldn’t help it. The other was so good looking and different and by some strange twist of fate he liked Tee. So he had no problems getting his phone out and handing it to Kam to put his number in. As soon as he got it back he left a missed call on the new number so the other would have his and smiled. “So I guess I’ll call you?” he asked, trying not to think of how much he was going to stress out about how long he should wait before calling.

Kami

“Yeah! Of course.” Kam answered quickly, smirking like a dork because this was just too fucking cute. Tee was...well, Kami really hadn’t known what his type was completely, he still hadn’t dated much at all, nor had he ever had a boyfriend, but he would now guess that if he had to name a type, Tee would be it. “You can text me when you get home, or whatever.” He tried to sound chill about it, but his physical expression said the exact opposite.

Tee

Maybe he wouldn’t even have to worry about timing all that much, considering that Kami was giving him the go ahead to text when he got home. He was pretty sure his best friend would tell him that waiting anything less than two days would make him look like a loser. But Tee never said he wasn’t a loser so...fuck it. And besides, Kam might be trying to look cool and collected but Tee could still tell he was excited. That made two of them. “I guess I can do that yeah. Unless I get busy or something”, he added at the last second, not wanting to sound overexcited.