#so yeah no it's fine
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i love waking up at 4am crying bc i'm having an existential crisis about my life
#don't mind me#just sobbing over realizing that my longest friendship is basically over#realizing that every single one of my interests has been attacked or belittled by my 'best friend'#realizing that she's insulted every one of my other friends#on top of screwing me over in our job for months#i literally don't know how to bring any of this up without ending our friendship#bc i know her#and i know calling her out for this will cause her to blow up#bc she can do no wrong#and me telling her that's she's being shitty will cause so many issues#and she's my fu king cousin. so i'll basically be cutting myself off from. everyone#if i get mad at her#so yeah no it's fine#my chest and throat hurt#im doing So Bad!!!#anywyas fuck being an adult#im having the worst fucking morning#thank fuck i don't work today oh my god#im so fucking tired#ignore this#personal rambles#don't mind me just being negative and sad at 429am on a monday#not stargate
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"just as I did, in 1983."
you'd never know my favourite parts of the show are the fucked up insane bits when my first instinct is to draw the cheesiest thing imaginable
#my art#interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#iwtv#armand iwtv#daniel molloy#armand#armandaniel#devils minion#drew this before the finale but idk maybe this is during the unspecified amount of time between armands divorce and daniels press tour#the titian painting doesnt fit at ALL with the timeline btw#i THOUGHT it did bc i assumed 1508 was when armand was turned into a vampire BUT upon reflection thats more likely the year he was born#and even then the painting was made in like 1510 so fuck me i guess. also im foggy on when armand was taken to rome#idk man i havent read the books and i failed art history on two separate occasions i cannot endeavor for accuracy#anyway as much as i love 70s/80s devils minion i have equal love for old man daniel#his cynicism has been tempered by time... refined like a diamond... he dont gaf and bullies his loser vampire and its hilarious#like ''sure yeah fine all these old italian renaissance guys saw ur ethereal otherworldly beauty but literally anybody can see that''#''IM the only mf who gets to experience the incandescent joy of seeing you be a messy idiot''#sidenote trying to make armand look unflattering is impossible u can blame the show for casting the worlds most beautiful man
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its baffling seeing people on here being all shocked about how other ppl didnt have sex or do drugs or drink or go to parties etc etc in high schools like. sorry i was too busy getting bullied to do all of that stuff i guess. why are you surprised that there’s losers on the cringe loser website
#like yeah i WISHED i could do that sort of stuff#but i felt so completely isolated from everyone else at my school bc ppl were so nasty to me#its fine cos im doing all the stuff i missed out on now that im in university#but some ppl dont even get that chance#maybe its not that serious but. idk. just dont be a dick#but also ppl who didnt do that stuff acting like theyre better than ppl who did is fucking annoying and also a dick move. btw#📼
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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replaying ace attorney 4
#ace attorney#phoenix wright#apollo justice#kristoph gavin#art#yeah so i was replaying ace attorney4#but it was a localization from my native language which came out like two months ago#this shit was wild#apollo's name is literally odoroki FINE#are u fine odoroki? IM FFFFIINNEEE like shut up boy#bllmak artwork
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babygirl i will invent stages of grief you have never seen before
#good omens#good omens 2#good omens spoilers#so that ending huh!#this has been sitting in my drafts for months#i’ve been waiting for something to emotionally devastate me enough to post this and!! yeah!!!!!! this applies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#losing my mind#i was stunned i was at a loss for words#need season 3 on a flash drive and plugged into my brain STAT I CANT DO THIS#AUUUGGGGGHHH#good omens s2#good omens season 2#ineffable husbands#ineffable partners#time to open ao3 and pretend everything is fine!
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Thinking about how (a humanoid) Bill would see Ford be older after those 30 years (because that’s how people work), and so to try and appeal to him again, he makes himself look older too (I mean, he’s WAYYYY older than Ford actually, but I just mean visually)
But then after he’s killed and sent to the Theraprism, he goes back to his original twink look, and I say this because I already did a drawing of my humanoid Bill in prison and I like how that design worked with his pathetic traumatized orange jumpsuit look more than I think I would like it with an older looking version 😁 plus uhh I don’t wanna deem that drawing “not canon” to my brain so yeah
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#the book of bill#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gravity falls fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#I said in my discord that older bill was giving lesbian 😭#it’s so goofy bc like…I decided a more ‘mature’ version of him would have THAT hair.#which is the SAME HAIR i give to both Manfred von Karma and William Afton#which would be FINE#if I didn’t already give ‘younger’ Bill the SAME BANGS I give to both Miles Edgeworth and Michael Afton#THIS CAN’T KEEP HAPPENING TO MEEEEEE#I’m so in love with older Bill’s coat oughhh the blue inside RAHHHH#I gave him a big bow on the back of it bc 1. I liked how it looked and 2. reference to my design for his mama#and then he has straps on his eyepatch now bc reference to my humanoid design for his dad#anyways yeah toxic evil triangle man tries so desperately to appeal to his ex boyfriend just to get rejected 😔😔😔
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Kenji and his cow Hanako II were the best duo from wan change my mind
#GUYS ITS OKAY HE’S WITH HIS COW FRIENDS HE’S FINE#I present this after the abomination we all witnessed from ch. 118#sigh yeah I know the chapter released literally a whole ass month ago but I’ve been too busy with school to draw anything#take this as a manifestation for his return in the next ch#Seriously though I’m like 80% sure Kenji and the others are coming back asagiri can’t do this to us#idk maybe I’m being delusional#tbh I’m probably gonna disappear for a bit until my end of year exams are done so if anyone notices me on tumblr please yell at me to study#pls pls pls#btw I was watching moo deng live cams while drawing this she’s such an icon#bsd#bsd art#bsd fanart#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs fanart#bsd kenji#kenji miyazawa#kenji bsd#bsd wan#cows#cow art#my art#digital art#artists on tumblr
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It's funny how opinions can change over time for instance I used to want Bruce to be a good parent but then I realised how fucking boring that is to read at the end of the day comics are soap operas and I'm here for the drama
#dc#dc comics#batman#bruce wayne#character development <- for me not for bruce#give that bitch some regression#but yeah i think there is a fine line with bruce and his parenting#like imo he should be trying his best but failing spectacularly at it#all his actions should come from his own fucked up sense of duty#anyway i think ive mentioned this before#but someone just liked one of my really old posts#talking about good parent bruce and how hes important yada yada yada#and reading it made me go#i dont agree with this bitch she does not speak for me >:(#so setting the record straight#.... until i change my mind again lmao
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this idea wont leave my brain please help me !! YIPPEE HADES BATKIDS !!!
without the bg and text under the cut :))
asdhj probably gonna post like,, two at a time because thats ,, a lot,,,, of drawing ,,,,,,, so heres tim and jason! i think i got the hang of it more with jason lol
ALSO ALSO!!!
thank you to those who helped me with the titles for the batkids!! they were all really good :D (all on insta lol)
timothy: the tenured - thomson_at
#yeah jasons hair gave me ... a lot of trouble until i landed on this#i was debating doign a long hairstyle but i dont think it looked too good with the wreath lol#tims clothing actually gave me sooo much trouble#i really wanted to incorperate more of his red robin elements in it and so i really wanted to do the yellow bandoliers#but thats why he has the upper arm wraps#maybe ill redo him later#once i get the hang of jen zee's style more lolol#jason was fun though#askj commentary over#jason todd#red hood#robin#tim drake#dc fanart#dc comics#batfam#batman#ash's doodlings#hades game#hades supergiant#wait more commentary#i used apollo artemis and hermes for tim because i wanted more of that slimmer vibe#and zag i mostly used for jason#yeah im not super happy with tim but for like.. a second attempt im fine with it#btw if this were an actual game#id like to think that the protagonist would be damian#trying to find his father (bruce) and coming across all of his fathers kids and pseudo kids lol
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Dead beat down
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen ning#wen qing#Wen Ning is my beloved boy so hearing him get revived as a murder zombie was devastating.#The fact he will keep having his kind and gentle nature overridden by death and violence makes me want to eat sawdust.#I must say though...as a necromancer lover - boy did this episode deliver.#The sound design was so good. Screams and gore and panic abound!#I personally felt a little mixed on how terrified the guards were of WWX at the start but uh...yeah his reputation was not rumours.#If anything they kind of downplayed how brutal he could be.#Real WWX lovers know he puppets round corpses and kills people in cruel and unusual ways.#He's just got some stuff to work through! This is his enrichment! He's in too small of an enclosure!#Self care can be a bloodbath and reviving the guy who has a crush on you that you'll never recognize! It's fine!
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If you are a person who doesn't like Frodo Baggins I am taking you by the shoulders. I am shaking you gently. I am asking you if you've ever had to try to do something overwhelming. I am asking you if you've ever had to carry on in the face of insurmountable despair. I am asking if you've ever carried burdens no one else could know of. I am asking if you've never seen yourself in the monstrous. I'm asking you if you've ever been unable to trust your own mind. I am asking if your mental health has ever made you unreasonable. I'm asking if you've ever been too weak to take care of yourself, too weak to do the right thing in the end, too weak to do what, in your heart of hearts, you want to do. I'm asking if you've ever been too small to make a significant difference and if you tried anyway. I'm asking if you've ever faltered under something heavy placed on your shoulders. I'm asking if you've ever taken the next step despite never wanting to move again.
If you haven't yet, you will.
#haha yeah I'm fine and normal about Lord of the Rings (fights anyone with a bad Frodo take)#we are not worthy of him...#no character in fiction has ever been more important to me#a 50yo Hobbit saddled with a cursed object slowly destroying his mind is something that can actually be so personal#Lord of the rings#lotr frodo#frodo baggins#lotr
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[🚬]
no thoughts- just Logan smoking some big ass cigar at any given moment.
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#james logan howlett#marvel imagine#marvel bts#he’s actually just a big ‘ol’ cat#i want to snuggle him#i’m delusional#i need him so fucking bad#like literally#WOOF WOOF BARK BARK#sorry i got a little carried away there#yeah he’s so fine#he’s so pretty#i love his fluffy hair#smooch#marvel boy#marvel men#i love you hugh jackman#hugh jackman#wolverine#wolverine x reader
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Thinking about Weird Barbie and how she's the very obviously queer outsider of the Barbie world, she straddles the lines between Barbie and the Real World. She's the most aware of the performative nature of it all. She supports Barbie while also gently mocking her panic at losing the hyperfeminine perfection. Her weird house is also home to the discontinued reject weird Barbies, the outcasts (including very gay earring Ken) who never fell into either the original matriarchy or the Kentriarchy brainwashing.
The other more classically heteronormative and beautiful Barbies both pity and fear her, and at first the narrative pities her as well. She's the vessel of girls going weird and crazy and feral on their dolls and that's amazing. Weird Barbie is aware of who she is and how the world sees her and she loves it. She's Weird Barbie and She Owns It.
#i couldnt identify with a lot of the Barbies Feminine Crisis on as deep a level as other women i know#but holy shit did i see what they did with Weird Barbie aka Queer Barbie#GOD this movie did such a great job capturing the feeling of#gender is fake and but also its real#ive been having gender thoughts#mostly about how im so goddamn ambivalent about gender that i can't even identify#with the idea of thinking about What Is My Gender enough to say its nonbinary#my gender is Sure Okay#she/her yeah fine its whatever#barbie
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get a loadda THIS guy
#im watching ent hiiii#(looks nervously at my 20+ tos wips) yeah this is fine#my art#star trek#ent#star trek enterprise#trip tucker#hes just like. so shape. so goober. 10/10
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Oh, oh.
Yes.
My favourite “Merlin?” Very underrated moment, in my opinion.
#arthur had no reason to call HIS MANSERVANT LIKE THAT#WHAT WAS THE REASON?!!#the sweet ‘r’ rolling between his tongue and teeth LIKE PLEASE#arthur had just said to him there were no limits to his intelligence and then he sweetly calls him like that?#yes it was to apologise#NO I DON’T MAKE THE RULES MY MAN ARTHUR HERE IS SMITTEN#TOTALLY AND IRREVERSIBLY#and merlin doesn’t react AT ALL to THAT arthur’s tone of voice#so yeah#your honour the jury the president and annis’ kingdom#it’s not the first time arthur calls merlin like that#oh i’m so weak ARRRGGGGHHH I NEED TO SHAKE THEM#TO CRADLE THEM IN MY ARMS AND TELL THEM TO JUST SNOG AND SHAG THE LIFE OUT OF EACH OTHER’S#OH THIS IS SICK#*cough*#okay i’m fine#NO I’M NOT#merthur#merlin bbc#merlin#arthur pendragon#bbc merlin
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