#bc i know her
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i love waking up at 4am crying bc i'm having an existential crisis about my life
#don't mind me#just sobbing over realizing that my longest friendship is basically over#realizing that every single one of my interests has been attacked or belittled by my 'best friend'#realizing that she's insulted every one of my other friends#on top of screwing me over in our job for months#i literally don't know how to bring any of this up without ending our friendship#bc i know her#and i know calling her out for this will cause her to blow up#bc she can do no wrong#and me telling her that's she's being shitty will cause so many issues#and she's my fu king cousin. so i'll basically be cutting myself off from. everyone#if i get mad at her#so yeah no it's fine#my chest and throat hurt#im doing So Bad!!!#anywyas fuck being an adult#im having the worst fucking morning#thank fuck i don't work today oh my god#im so fucking tired#ignore this#personal rambles#don't mind me just being negative and sad at 429am on a monday#not stargate
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LOOK I JUST REALLY ENJOY THEIR FRIENDSHIP OK?? You can't tell me they wouldn't hang after their respective personal quests (spawn ending ofc)/emotional breakdowns over their own mortality
EDIT: I forgot to watermark these so now more than ever PLEASE don't repost
#baldurs gate 3#astarion#astarion ancunin#karlach#bg3#Karlach 'I could kiss his pointy little face' cliffgate#karlach cliffgate#karlach bg3#bg3 fanart#my art#I discovered CSP is a lot better than PS for animating#consistent artsyle? I don't know her#I just like their vibes#they seem like they'd be there for each other#maybe karlach just wanted someone to talk at her about absolute nonsense while she processes her own mortality bc that girl needs some help#I JUST REALLY LIKE THESE TWO
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reflection
#anyways so i think samus has major survivors guilt and is a super perfectionist. The type of girl who reimagines scenarios in her mind#And thinks about how she could have done better. like ‘if i had woken up sooner maybe i could have saved everyone in prime 3’#so i think she says she doesnt know anything about herself because shes so hypercritical of her actions she doesnt see herself as a person#while also her hyper critical-ness shows how she says she wants to ignore herself but she literally cant because she has so many criticisms#oh i wanted to include the ppl from the prime 2 manga in that one shot but was like ‘i dont think ppl will recognize them’.#also lol the existence of dark samus would fuck her up SOOOO bad like it only exists bc she exists & its responsible for the gang’s deaths#okay im done rambling tldr MENTAL ILLNESS.#metroid#samus aran#loneart#metroid dread#metroid prime#super metroid#metroid series#i dont wanna tag all the games. There just those games is enough#hall of fame
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no more fan-ta-sizing about it! everything's already changed~
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#figueroth faeth#riz gukgak#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#fh class quangle#my! class swap thing! I guess this is like the poster for it now#got overinvested and finished it properly instead of winging it lol#in closeup order: cleric!gorgug; bard!riz; rogue!fabian; sorcerer!kristen; barbarian!fig; artificer!adaine#this one does have the harpoon gun I'd give fabian during sophomore year but literally only figured out for this piece lol#I like how it looks tho Im glad I hashed it out#thinking abt power armor adaine a lot tbh... she has the transhumanist audacity. she's villain-adjacent enough#to attempt unspeakable acts of body improvement#(its funny bc to wear a rig like that would Also demand a certain level of physical strength from you)#also yeah this is the thing with riz holding a megaphone that got me considering#its fun! it fits the aesthetics! maybe it'd grant him range for bardics#maybe he gets to keep that Im just not sure how he'd carry it around lol#fig gets to have all of her makeup... I like almost never remember to draw it usually kdsjfhdjk listen. I just forgor#I always forget makeup is real#also dont ask me what's in kristen's thermos it Is usually tea but you truly never know#sometimes its soup. it can be lighter fluid. soap perhaps. hot chocolate#also if u come knocking on my door abt kristen's somatic in this piece: I wont be home#she gets to be gross especially bc shes funny and 17yo and gay. we give it to her#okay I. whoo I should lay down. finally I can move on to other things#cheers! wahoo. yahha perhaps
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i wanted to try drawing older Mabel and Dipper !
#gravity falls#mabel pines#dipper pines#artists on tumblr#tbob#not gonna lie im not too sold on these designs so i may change things later if i ever wanna draw them again#i was looking at their old character designs and concept art for inspiration#mabel lowkey looks like a fashion mess but! i think its in character so whatevvsss#also firm believer that they both have glasses. mabel doesnt wear contacts bc she likes fun frames + contacts are too uncomfortable for her#dipper doesnt wear contacts because hes too busy for contacts and he can never put them in right#also took some insp from kristen schaal. alex hirsch. ariel hirsch. jason ritter for them too#also. i know dipper is shown to be a STEM-y kid but i firmly am a believer hes a STEM enjoyer in the service of art. like the fanfiction#writer thats studies physics or chemistry to get a certain detail right or something. or the entire futurama writers room lol#like i do think he wants to make documentaries or shows abt the supernatural or whatever#and mabel helps out with the adventuring :)#kind of like buzzfeed unsolved in the golden era of youtube#turtlearts
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obsessed with the thought of bird not really knowing anything about simon’s military endeavors. has no idea he wears a fucking skull mask everywhere on base and on missions. just kind of assumed he wore standard gear. shows up on base the day he’s supposed to get back to surprise him only to be roughly dragged by her scruff down the hall into an office room by some big BRUTE in a bloodied skull mask covered from head to toe in gear. squawking and squealing as some asshole manhandles her into a private room, ready to start screaming just for said asshole to tear off his mask and coo at her for being so dramatic and frightened. it’s just him, quit your hollering.
simon all riled up from the recent mission, adrenaline still flooding his system just starts pawing at her and shoving a greedy hand down her panties. annoyed for a brief moment when she struggles and grips at the thick wrist between her thighs. doesn’t she know he needs a warm hole to fuck more than anything right now. he’s about to flip her around and gag her so he can play with her pussy just how he wants be she’s blushing and shyly asking him to put the mask back on before he fucks her.
dirty girl ruining her panties over the idea of some big masked brute having his way with her… oh it drives him crazy… he’s pulling the mask back down immediately and slamming her against his office door with his favorite knife to her throat as he bullies a thick finger into her tight cunt :( he’s so mean too. muttering about how she’s a dirty little cockslut just gagging for some stranger’s big cock :(
#idk the thought of her just not really having any idea of what he is or does#and he just assumes the whole mask thing will scare her bc she’s so used to his face and him being semi normal while on leave#but instead she finds out about the whole mask and ghost thing and she’s never been hornier#i know he’s about to maul her when he finds out she’s actually into the whole scary masked brute thing#cod#ghost
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i need guenhwyvar to be Cat so bad
#dnd#dungeons and dragons#forgotten realms#drizzt do'urden#legend of drizzt#ra salvatore didn’t write about ALL the cups and plates that guen destroyed in blingdenstone but i know the truth#i think all the art i've made exists somewhere between homeland and exile/during exile#bc that's where i am rn and i will not spoil myself#her purrs must be SO loud#enough to cause an earthquake#i love these stupid books so much i'm so ill#she's literally described as his first and closest friend you CANNOT tell me he doesn't give her all the scritches and snuggles she wants
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listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded mfer happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.
#seeing some discourse and im not saying lucy grey didnt know#im saying she never dropped the kind of hints that she knew like she did in the movie#or if she did snow isnt worried about them until he very suddenly is consumed by them#snow is not concerned about whether or not she believed him. of course she did! hes snow!#but then shes gone…. for a while……#and its the sudden immediate drastic unravelling that comes across so clearly in the book#that i knew wouldn’t translate to screen yet still cant help but miss#the hunger games#coriolanus snow#tbosas#lucy gray baird#not a crime or anything just a note that i cannot stop thinking about#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#this is all from memory of reading it quite a while ago. so maybe 3 pages is an exaggeration#but i remember it happening VERY quickly and without much external cause#like we as the reader have no indication as to whether shes nearby or not.#snow has no idea either. he just SUSPECTS. and his suspicion breeds the hatred that has been bubbling inside him all this time#he hates how she undoes him. he hates that he WOULD run away with her if shed let him keep his secrets#and he HATES more than anything that she makes him WANT to tell his secrets#he wants to be vulnerable and reveal the ugly nasty parts about himself and still be loved#but he does not let himself and it is everyone’s downfall#he chooses cruelty bc it is easy and familiar and makes him feel more powerful than the vulnerable give and take that real love requires
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big brother pride
#satsuhart#ace attorney#miles edgeworth#nahyuta sahdmadhi#apollo justice#context for anyone who doesn't know: franziska capcorom got announced recently... trucy rayfa nahyuta don't have one#trucy... doesn't she deserve one </3 i'm almost thinking it's bc they don't want to deal with making her hat or smth#but that's stupid other official trucy plushies exist!!#anyway i want meicorom..... 10 of them
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i'm one hundred percent certain that after percy and annabeth made out underwater. and he wanted to make their relationship official. the question was not "will you be my girlfriend?" but "can i be your boyfriend?" i don't care what the canon says. percy gave annabeth the space to take the lead in the relationship. because after a lifetime of being abandoned by everyone she dared to care for. and then watching her on the brink of a panic attack at the thought of losing him the last four years. he wanted to honor a new beginning between them by follow her lead and moving at her pace.
#i will not accept another answer#(i'm easily persuaded)#i don't care what the canon says#(unless it was exactly this in which case that was good story writing)#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo text post#pjo#pjo headcanon#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth#percabeth headcanon#percabeth fluff#percabeth cute#percabeth romantic#percabeth rant#but in all seriousness#he for sure did this#not bc annabeth is a controlling partner like percabeth-opposers claim she is#but bc she is a girl who experiences love the same way the moon feeds off the suns reflection#never knowing truth warmth#only it's echo#and percy intends to make her feel like she's his entire world#like she's the reason the sun shines so brightly#so fuck off
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OK this question has been bugging me all morning so y'all please let me know
bc ours did nd I never thought much of it as a kid but know I'm thinking about it and it feels kinda gross? so pls tell me if this experience was universal or not it will haunt me forever otherwise
#i. i do not know what to tag this as.#emetophobia warning#??#yea this came to me cuz i've been nauseous all morning bc i'm hungry but can't eat bc Food Is Gross#nd it made me think abt good ol vomit bowl. I miss that bowl i loved her like a sister
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Finally got around to drawing my farmer :P
#her name is eliza btw#my art#stardew valley#sdv#sdv farmer#sdv Elliott#elliott x farmer#eliza the farmer#fanart#sdv fanart#aka shameless self insert bc I started the game not knowing how into it i would become#and naturally I just made myself instead of thinking out an oc#oh well. still got my malewife so idc
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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Birds of a Feather previous / next
#my art#feralnette au#birds of a feather#long tags#sorry I went apeshit in the tags#LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW#I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO#its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical#and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread#as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational#in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away#and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do#shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again#legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it#but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings#alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird#she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her#knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself#between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot#and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo#essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that#busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way#to show her she's self sabotaging#cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD
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🏹💘...!
#spuffy#btvs fanart#spike#spike btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#btvs#spike x buffy#my art#please don't repost#happy valentines day now time for me to disappear for 2 months#screaming at them : stop it#screenshot studies bc why not#proportions ? i don't know her#drawing these while listening to the patapon ost#buffy crying and being sad immediately after being brought back to life can yall please hear me out i have a vision#number one is i wanted to draw the fat ghibli tears#sarah michelle gellar#james marsters
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"jason is a knockoff watered down percy" NO hear me out, jason actually parallels annabeth immensely, sharing SO many similarities with her personality, not percy, in this essay I will-
edit: my full analysis is out now! here
#when I read about jason the first time I'm like wow he's sort of a gentler annabeth chase variant he could be her twin brother#they are both genuinely interested in learning stuff. they both mansplain and geek. they are both misunderstood as conceding when they do#they love getting involved in debates and discussions. they both have designed temples assigned to them by the gods themselves#they are both seen as 'scary and intimidating' when they're just softies who need love. they are both overthinkers with too many plans#they are both soft for ppl w silly humor. they both kinda give off an untrustworthy vibe at first bc they know too much info#they are both also pretty suspicious and don't trust immediately. they both love architecture. they both have a 'cold icy' stare#also they're both TALL#I could keep going on and on for ages actually#pjo#pjo fandom#percy jackson#jason grace#pjo series#pjo hoo toa#pjo hoo#annabeth chase
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