#so why the fuck am I actually STILL in a depressive episode???

[sunshineler]

.

[hella1975]

tbf i really deserved to lose that poll im stupid af

[milo-is-rambling]

I am so high I love you dabs I love you big bong rips I love you huge heavy bong I love you only having 20 dollars to my name and no plans but getting high and ignoring it I love you oh no I’m thinking about it

[1-800-dnkichu]

i had a psilocybin journey back in march. at one point i looked out at the little back garden the facility has and i just looked out at the nature there and it brought me so much peace and joy and, outloud, i said "i love existing..."

this took me completely by surprise because i have been extremely suicidal since i was 7 years old. before that moment i dont think i had ever thought about life in that way. but there it was. my subconscious letting me in on a little secret. i love existing. living, thats different; living is hard and it will always be hard and i have come to accept that. but existing? having moments in nature like this? being surrounded by people that i love and that love me? finding something so pure and good in the world where there was always nothing more than deep sadness and anger at my situation?

ever since that day, anytime i start to feel depression creeping in to take over my life again, i try to take time to stop and think about nature, about the people i love, about how there can be hope even when im in the deepest pit of sadness ive ever been in before. and it helps. because omg. we're alive. this is happening. somehow, in all the universe, i am here and you are here and the trees are here and everyone we love is standing beside us and its beautiful. more beautiful than anything depression can try to darken.

trees are very 🥺 because sometimes i’ll stand under the shade of a tree and look up at it and it’ll sway its branches about in the wind and i’m like oh my God i’m alive and YOU’RE alive. we are alive together and made up of the same starry stuff and standing right next to each other in this moment on this earth. do u feel it when i reach out and press my hand to your trunk? can you hear me? i think you’re so neat. and then the sunlight filters through its leaves just so and that lovely green color leaves me dazzled. it’s just very nice to be an alive thing next to a different sort of alive thing

[hattersarts]

gomens s2 thoughts, all spoilers!

I spent 10 hours talking to my housemate about the season after we binged the whole thing in the morning but here are the highlights and the biggest takeaways from the season.

okay i did love the ending, i love that we get the conformation of love AND going into the divorce arc next season (if they're not properly together by the end of season 3 however, i am rioting) they're slow burn and a whole season of them getting to the final 10mins was tasty.

HOWEVER. it was an extremely clunky season when it comes to writing, lots of either set ups missed OR set ups repeated 4 times that they're drilled into out heads. there was also lots of dialogue that really needed to be tightened up. the lesbians were so poorly written i thought they might have needed to be cut BUT they just needed to have more bearing on the rest of the plot AND say things like real people would say things and LITERALLY SHOW ONE SINGLE REASON WHY THEY WOULD LIKE EACH OTHER WITHIN THE FIRST EPISODE.

gabe/bulz romance was the one that should have been cut, have them do more of a oh-my-god-my-boss-sucks kind of thing, lean into them complaining about having to avert a civil war after armageddon stopped and touch on the "structural problems" the angels mention later. Have gabe/bulz be super punished for working together which puts huge fear into az and crowley about what happens if you try to team up as an angel/demon pair (but an extra reason why az takes the job at the end so he and crowley can be the same)

imo it works more if the only mirror of their romance is the HUMANS which should lean into themes to season 3 of how they need to team up with humans (re:"us vs them" line at the end of season 1) to actually achieve their happy ending.

Nina and maggies best scene was their last one telling crowley he needed to talk to az but i think that was one that needed to be cut, it would have been far more satisfying to have crowely work out it out himself that he loves az and wants to tell him (still via maggie and nina but more subtle rather than them telling him to his face AND via spending more time with az in the season)

flashbacks were all pretty good, loved the jobe one and that final "lonely" scene. the nazi one needed some trimming the most (why did all three come back to earth, it made scenes too crowed, have them fight to be a zombie)

shax was disappointing, she was kind of just incompetent the whole way through which didnt make the stakes very exciting, (that whole scene of her talking to the legion was unfunny and pointless) i wanted crowley to mentor her more like when he gave her advice in the first few meetings we saw (kind of in a very non-demonic way, not expecting anything in return) and her to then meet him on equal footing in the finale. would have been a little accidental taste for Crowley to have his good deeds come back to haunt him while showing he's different to demons.

speaking of the finale fight, that halo had NO set up, it was sick as hell but ??? the fuck did that come from. the fight should have been won by az and crowley performing another HUGE miracle together, discorporating the demons (which then would alert heaven and hell something was up in the bookshop and the final scene can happen)

az taking the job from metatron was very good, its consistent with his character where he still hasn't let go of his faith in good/god, he's only been upset by the angels running heaven and still has faith in the system while crowley has realised none of it works and it's only them together that matters. it was nice to show he still hasn't truly accepted crowley for who he is now (tho imo he knows he loves him, he just hasn't quite unrepressed himself) and him not turning down the job after crowley confesses to him shows he still thinks he can fix it. Crowley on the other hand thinks he's now lost him, az has broken he the trust he had in him, he's going to be in big depression mode

few thoughts of good directions for S3:

finally delivering on what crowley said at the end of S1 I think is the most satisfying. the final showdown should be humans Vs heaven/hell with Crowley and az on the human side, helping them win the conflict. there would be suggestions that this is actually god's ineffable plan, this is a conflict she wants to happen and the things that Crowley and az went through are what make them perfect ambassadors to help the humans.

the set up for az in S3 to finally work out he and Crowley can't work out within the unfair rules of the system and for him to abandon heaven (tho not I think, becoming a demon) is good. a sucky ending imo for season 3 is if az somehow "fixes" heaven and via bureaucracy and not via blowing it all up.

growth moments for Crowley in S3 might be having more contact with humans since he's already abandoned hell and it would put az & crowley on similar footing (as az very much loves humans already) when they decided to side with humans for a humans Vs heaven/hell conflict.

anyway, gay people

[viv-hollande]

Ok, so this is a post that I should have made sooner. I've been somewhat out of the loop with regards to current events and the state of discourse on this website courtesy of a pretty serious depressive episode from which I am only just now recovering. As I have emerged from this state I have been pushed towards a conclusion about this website and the state of discussion around the ongoing Israel-Gaza War that I had thus far avoided due in part to my barely possessing the energy to keep myself alive and due in part to my denial that the conclusion could be true. But that denial can no longer hold.

It has become openly apparent that the pro-Palestinian camp on this website has become popularly infused with a degree of blatant, aggressive antisemitism that I, in my naivety thought impossible in the days just after October 7. I am trying to avoid turning this into a mea culpa because that would be unproductive and feel self-serving, but I do feel an obligation to admit that I disregarded prescient warnings from Jewish users whose warnings I dismissed as over-blowing a problem that I felt was real, but more limited in scope than they made out.

I'm neither an idiot nor am I ignorant. I am well aware of the long history of antisemitism in leftist politics and in the Palestinian Liberation movement. Back at the beginning of this crisis I was prepared to see the occasional instance of antisemites using the inevitable, overwhelming Israeli retaliation as an excuse to air their hateful politics. I was prepared to see both the well-meaning but ignorant and the malicious alike sharing tweets from antisemitic pro-Palestine accounts, spreading and normalizing low-grade, subtle antisemitism. Make no mistake, this should have been condemned. Antisemitism, like all bigotries, has no 'safe' level. There is no background level of antisemitism that society should just accept as normal. But I was more focused on the inevitable cacophony of suffering that Israel would almost certainly begin meting out, and so I failed to act.

The fatal blow to my denial was the increasing prevalence of the use of quotation marks around the word "Israel" and "Israeli". The first few times I saw this, I didn't really understand what it meant. Still laboring under the belief that antisemitism was a manageable problem on the left, I was certain that most of the users on this site, well-intentioned, goodhearted, critically thinking people that they were, would have recognized and called out even disguised antisemitism before it took over a good 20-40% of all posts about the conflict. I was a damn naive fool. For those, like past me, who have not cottoned on to the meaning of the quotation marks, they have become a way to express the denial of the legitimacy or even existence of, individually or all together, the State of Israel, the Israeli people, or the right of either Jews or Israelis to identify as Israelis.

CONGRATULATIONS TUMBLR! You have successfully revived from depths of 4chan neo-Nazi boards the (((fucking echoes))).

Are you serious? Are you fuckers for real? This, right here, encapsulates the pitch-black absurdity of this whole situation and why I remained in denial for so long. Never, in a million years, would I imagine that the proudly pro-Social Justice, anti-fascist, 100% Certified SAFE-SPACE(tm) website would end up using the same language as the goddamn Nazis on 4chan. I thought this website was smarter than that. But noooo, it turns out that I was a damn naive fool.

This was where the post was originally going to end. I say my piece, hope to change a few minds, and commit myself to actually fighting antisemitism instead of sitting back and dismissing the problem. But I figure, while I'm here and while I still have the driving forces of anger and guilt pushing me along, I may as well put pen to paper and spew forth my other thoughts on the ongoing crisis. I am thus compiling a much longer post detailing my thoughts on some aspects of the current situation. [EDITED ~1:25 AM GMT, 5 Dec 2023: add link to finished post] That post will definitely be long, probably be angry, possibly wrong on some aspect of fact, and will absolutely be pretentious, preachy, self-righteous and hubristic to a positively Hellenistic degree. Brief, non-comprehensive summary so you can decide whether or not get mad at me ahead of time;

Israel does apartheid, or near enough for government work.

Israel is definitely conducting a campaign of forced displacement, possibly amounting to ethnic cleansing, but I remain unconvinced of the claim of genocide.

Hamas may or may not be a anti-colonialist revolutionary group, but it definitely is an antisemitic terrorist organization with genocidal aspirations and actively supporting them is morally indefensible. Yes, this includes the Al-Qassam Brigades.

Anti-colonial and other revolutionary movements do in fact have fundamental moral obligations and suffering oppression does not give you carte blanche to do terrorism, even when an oppressor attempts to render peaceful opposition impossible. There is a middle ground between peaceful marching and 850+ dead civilians; aim for that.

The left is just as prone to unhinged conspiracism as the right.

Verify your sources, for fuck's sake.

Use nuance. It won't kill you.

There's more, but it's a little difficult to summarize an unfinished post. If you want to argue with any of these points, go ahead, just keep in mind that a longer, more comprehensive post is in the works that might have the answer to your argument/complaint/insult/intellectual disagreement. If that post isn't up by midnight GMT on Friday, assume I forgot about it and argue away. In conclusion, antisemitism is bad, apartheid is also bad, Tumblr is a hellsite (derogatory), "From the river to the sea" is, in fact, antisemitic, seriously, stop saying it, take Jews seriously when they warn you about antisemitism instead of writing them off like a damn naive fool, and last but not least, free Palestine.

[oneatlatime]

Sokka's Master

pleasebegoodpleasebegoodpleasebegoodpleasebegoodpleasebegood

Strange choice of master but we'll see where this goes.

The meteor shower animation is quite meditative. I wouldn't mind it as a screensaver.

How to describe something exceptional to your blind friend: "You've never not seen anything like this." It's amazing the quality put into even the tiniest of throwaway jokes.

Are meteor strikes flammable?

I love how whenever Sokka's disappointed he gets noodle arms. A surprisingly consistent characterisation.

Momo butt skate.

Iroh. The fuck?

ok. So he's playing a part for the guards. Why?

Pretty.

Funny to think about, but as a former WWE character, Toph's probably had more hero worship than the Avatar.

Lots to say about this! First, I stand corrected! i honestly thought that Sokka would be immune to this specific insecurity by virtue of him not being a bender. I was wrong! Second, I love how, as soon as Sokka expresses that he feels that he isn't as talented as the rest of them, the others respond by listing his actual, invaluable talents, without which the group would be completely at sea. They don't respond with "no you're perfect!" they respond with "no one can read a map like you can" and how he keeps their spirits up with jokes. They're not using false praise. They are using specific facts. I love that an episode that looks like it's going to deal with a character feeling down on themselves establishes from the get go that the character is invaluable, actually. So often, the 'low self esteem stock episode' puts the affirmation of the character's value at the end. Which means the viewer spends the whole episode being convinced that the character in question might actually be useless. Here, we're told from the start that the character is invaluable - the problem is that they do not perceive themselves to be so. Quite on the nose for a show that deals so much with identity.

OMIGOD IT GETS BETTER!!!!!!!!!!

Validating Katara sweeps in and a) validates his feelings, while b) clearly explaining that his self-perception is not in line with how the others see him, which c) doesn't invalidate a) !!!!

Katara has such emotional intelligence when she chooses to use it.

Nuanced intelligent discussion of the complexities of emotions and self-perception in a Sokka episode I am so happy I am blessed the gods are shining on me today I'm sitting here twirling my hair and swinging my feet and doodling hearts on the corner of my journal

SHOPPING!!!!!

btw that's the same face he makes when he says SUKI!!!

"Reinvigorate my battling" this boy. just. this boy.

He lasted a lot longer than I would have with nun chucks.

Aang the Happy Meal toy.

Some say that Halberd is still spinning today.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present: the 45 degree Sokka.

Some Foley artist had the time of their life with this weapons sequence.

Why thank you for that exposition, Mr. Exposition. Now walk away and we'll never see you again.

Toph does NOT move ONCE this whole scene and it's ever so slightly freaking me out.

Toph tells you she learned from Badgermoles and no one wants to discuss this further?!? We're going to gloss over that?

So this episode has a training montage theme.

Sokka goes freestyle on those door knockers.

That's one hell of a castle. Must be dark in there though. Tiny windows.

Which explains the several hundred candles. This show. Set up with one hand; slam dunk with the other.

This guy's reciting Sokka's s1 introduction on Kyoshi Island.

Sokka: Actually. I am a dumb. The Master: Sold.

The face of someone who is definitely picking up what you're putting down.

It's been ages since I watched the episode, but is some of what the Master saying here about swords an echo of what Zuko says to the kid in Zuko Alone when he's decapitating sunflowers?

A Sokka-less Gaang. Depressing and they know it.

The way Katara's voice actor says "oh everyone's a critic" is gold.

Multidisciplinary education vs. kid who's never been within a mile of the box he's being told to think outside of. Fight!

Yikes that was a meaty hit. Does Sokka have a nose left?

They're wearing beehives on their heads.

Was Sokka always this short?

The greens in this episode are such a delight.

The way he says "I'm finished!" Sounds like "Am finished" and you can actually hear the smiley emoji he throws in.

He's good.

What do they FEED him?

Sokka's voice actor had a great time this episode. All the voice actors had a great time actually.

Sokka invents the La Z Boy

Katara inadvertently invents a fandom war by attempting a joke.

They're all so useless and it's wonderful.

That was all only one day? That's a lot of outfit changes for one day.

"You mess things up in a very special way." Compliment? Let's go with compliment.

Sokka is so very Sokka this episode.

A reason to live is coming!

*thundering herds of shippers in the distance*

That's clever. The inciting incident gets smelted. Haven't seen that before.

This whole Iroh gets buff montage has been completely dialogue free on Iroh's part. Crazy levels of inner peace, that he'd doesn't need to snark back at the guard.

Seriously. What are they FEEDING these children. Also how is that door that shiny.

Sokka really has it in for those door knockers.

Apropos of nothing, the clouds in this episode are all so yummy. All these soft slate colours and misty layers.

Meteoric iron is actually a thing, right?

Ok but aren't mold made swords crappy?

HI YUE

I love how they managed to made a crafting montage where the character who does the least work is the one who looks like he's working the hardest.

"I saw a heart as strong as my garden decor"

"No it certainly wasn't your skills. You had none."

Creativity, versatility, intelligence, meat, sarcasm.

You've known him like two days and you can already tell he's more worthy than any man you've ever trained? Sounds like you had poor taste in students.

"No. This is my fight. Alone." Bro you are going to DIE. The first time you held a sword was two days ago. You might need the avatar on this one.

Guard who never shuts up actually kind of has a point here. He's a dick about as usual, but it's entirely possible that the rank and file of the Fire Nation army view Iroh's actions as a betrayal. Does anyone remember in Star Wars movie number 7, or maybe 8, when that Trooper sees Finn after he's switched sides and yells "traitor!" and it's the best part of the movie? Yeah, like that.

This episode throws the concept of linear time out the window. In two days, Iroh gets swole and Sokka masters sword fighting.

Do you think Sokka's realised yet that this is his final exam?

Yummy yummy clouds.

One in a million pocket sand shot.

One in a million stick placement.

So this master is like a sword spirit or something. He can't be human. There's no way he could get the scabbard to fly on perfectly without seeing.

"Try Lee, There's a million Lees. There's a tea shop in Ba Sing Se that has a super cranky waiter called Lee."

This guy's just this side of committing treason and I love it.

I see this Master is a devotee of the 'Hakoda school of shoving outrageously over the top compliments into Sokka's thick skull in the hopes that 1% of them will stick.' I approve.

This last scene has gorgeous hills and skies but you'll have to take my word for it because I've hit the image limit.

Sokka's been inducted into the super secret boy band!!!

He saved space earth for Toph! He's so considerate! He's fuelling the ships!

Let's compromise and call it space dirt instead.

Final Thoughts

This episode every two minutes: Sokka, you are currently flawless and you're about to get better. Me: Yes. Yep. Yeah. Seconded. I concur.

I like it! It's great! It's 24 minutes of the writers and characters fangirling over Sokka! Of course I like it! It made me criminally overuse exclamation marks! What else can I say?

Hands down my favourite episode is Bato of the Water Tribe. For Sokka's story, this episode is Bato of the Water Tribe part 2. Of course I'm going to love it. This episode was lab grown specifically for me.

Now let's see if I can say something about this episode that isn't poorly disguised squealing.

I love how the characters respond to Sokka saying he's not special with an evidence-based refutation rather than blanket reassurance.

I love how shopping cheers up Sokka. I love how Katara knows that shopping will cheer him up. This must be something she's learned since the show started. I don't think there were malls in the South Pole. So Katara was paying attention when Sokka and Momo went through the bag saga.

I love how much the master is baffled yet impressed by Sokka. He seems almost charmed by this breath of fresh air. I think it's hilarious that, when Sokka first approaches him, he's expecting early season 1 Sokka. He'd better send Suki a thank you card.

I also really like "The way of the sword doesn't belong to any one nation." It seems obvious to us, but in a world where there are weaponisable skills that are quite literally inseparable from the nations their wielders inhabit, it's probably something no one in the Gaang has ever heard before.

Obviously the episode is a little rushed - half hour kid's show and all that - but it's still pretty crazy that you can apparently impart a solid basic knowledge of swordplay in two days.

Toph going all tsundere is funny, and makes Aang and Katara unapologetically desperate for Sokka's company twice as funny as it already is. Toph's like "whatever" and the other two spent the day making a welcome home banner.

I love how Sokka's happiness is always so loud and shameless. It makes it contagious.

This episode highlights what Sokka's actual strengths are, by instructing him in what he thinks his strengths are. If that makes sense? Sokka is brain, which he's finally starting to realise by attending brawn lessons.

He's also heart, and I'll die on that hill.

Iroh getting swole was honestly just a thing that happened. No comment really, except it was interesting to have a reminder from the guard that a character we perceive as the good guy is currently perceived as the bad guy by everyone but us. When the Fire Nation does inevitably get defeated, a whole nation is going to have to reset their worldview and that will not be an easy process.

More like this please!

[scientia-rex]

Good morning! I have a question. When I look up info about vitamin D, I come across many claims that people generally don't get enough of it. In a recent episode of Maintenance Phase, however, the hosts called it a "scam" or overblown, at least (I don't remember the exact wording). So, like, what's the deal with vitamin D? Do Americans get enough of it?

Probably, mostly. At the very least, people should be tested before starting repletion. It probably has a role in osteoporosis treatment and prevention, BUT how much to take and what form and when is HOTLY debated and frequently conclusions are changing.

Just to take you on a spin through the most recent Cochrane reviews (THESE ARE NOT SINGLE STUDIES, in case any of the research-naive out there want to get pissy about them; look up what a Cochrane review actually is before trying to shit on it; also note that I did NOT say this will cover every fucking person and every hypothetical they can come up with, jesus CHRIST):

No role for vitamin D in asthma

Insufficient evidence to recommend it in sickle cell

Raising vitamin D levels in cystic fibrosis patients is not beneficial

No evidence of benefit of vitamin D in MS

Supplementing vitamin D in pregnancy may have small benefits but also risk of harms

No clinically significant benefit from vitamin D supplementation in chronic pain

Insufficient data on vitamin D in inflammatory bowel disease, but no evidence of benefit

No evidence of benefit of vitamin D supplementation in liver disease

Vitamin D does not appear to prevent cancer in general population

No evidence for benefit in supplementation of vitamin D in premenopausal women to prevent bone density loss

Possible small mortality benefit of D3, but not D2, in elderly patients, but also increased risk of kidney stones and hypercalcemia

Vitamin D alone ineffective, but combined with calcium may be effective, in preventing bone fractures in older adults

Insufficient evidence for vitamin D improving COVID-19 outcomes

Now, vitamin D plus calcium in people who have post-menopausal bone density loss does seem to prevent fractures. This is why doctors routinely recommend it. However, dosage and formulation are still debated as data are insufficient, and uncertainty still large.

So, do you need to supplement? Probably not. There is some fairly weak evidence that vitamin D supplementation may help with depression, but I would argue that it's going to be most relevant in people with pre-existing deficiencies, which Medicare is just hellbent on not letting me test for anymore. They've narrowed the coverage codes for testing so now even know vitamin D deficiency isn't considered a good enough reason to test. So Medicare has very clearly decided it's not relevant, for whatever that's worth, I spit on their graves, etc. Of course, then you get into the question of what counts as a deficiency, which we also really don't know.

And to be clear, I wasn't looking through the Cochrane review results with an angle--those are most of the first page of search results on their site, with the only one skipped being similar to another one I mentioned, and I stopped when I got bored. These should not be paywalled, as I am not logged into anything and I can read it all, so try clicking the side menu on the right if you have trouble getting into the weeds.

If anything, running through this little exercise has made me less likely to recommend vitamin D supplementation, so do with that what you will.

[st-eve-barnes]

You know that I'm no good (chapter 8)

(Modern Aegon x fem Reader, Modern Sihtric x fem Reader)

Summary: You want Sihtric. Aegon wants Skade. There's only one small problem: Sihtric and Skade are dating each other.

This chapter: You spend the night in Aegon's bed, finally giving into your true feelings for him. But what then?

Finally smutty times! And ANGST. And...I am so sorry about the ending...you guys didn't think we were there yet, didn't you?😈

Warning for the entire series: 18+ for explicit language and smut. Angst/comfort/fluff. Fake dating and so much mutual pining. Mentions of depression/drinking/self harm.

This is an Aegon x Reader fic with a bit of Sihtric x Reader on the side. I've wanted to write a modern AU that combines The Last Kingdom and House of the dragon for a while now so here it is!

Word count: +4600

Masterlist

***

All my fics are also on AO3

***

Aegon’s driver was as professional as they come, he was overly polite, opened the doors for you and accompanied you to the elevator that lead up to Aegon’s penthouse. 

Because of course Aegon would have the best, most expensive apartment in the entire building, you shouldn’t ’t have expected anything less.

You were nervous when you entered his place, it was dark in the loft as you made your way through the enormous kitchen.

On the way over there Aegon had texted you that the door was open and he’d be waiting for you in his bedroom.

Part of you was convinced you were still actually in your own apartment, in your own bed, sound asleep and having this amazing dream that involved Aegon inviting you into his bed.

It was all just too good to be true.

But it was real.

Light was peaking out from under the door of his room. You knocked softly before opening it.

Aegon’s bedroom was as spacious as the rest of the place, king sized bed with dark sheets, cozy lights and a big tv on the wall opposite the bed. He had never looked smaller to you sitting up against the headboard on his side of the huge bed, shirtless, his hair messy and curly and his sleepy sad eyes locking on yours. 

He looked like a dream. You didn’t want to speak or move, afraid you would shatter the whole thing and wake up alone again.

“Hey,” he whispered and his lips curled up into a smile watching your short pink pajamas,”You really came like that, huh?”

“You said not to change so…your driver gave me some weird looks though,” you joked, making Aegon laugh but then his gaze was serious again.

He lifted up the blankets to make room for you,”Get in here.”

You took off your shoes and climbed into the bed next to him, propping up the pillow behind your back as you got comfortable, not wanting to get too close to him before knowing his intentions.

Did he just want company? Or comfort? Did he just want to fuck or did he want more? 

Or was it none of the above.

Aegon turned on the tv and searched for Stranger Things. Then, without speaking a word, he started up the first episode.

It confused the shit out of you.

You didn’t know how to deal with this quiet version of him, it was the first time you actually had no idea what to say to him. The air in the room felt too heavy and even though Aegon was sitting right next to you it felt like he was a million miles away. 

Did he regret his decision to invite you over already? Was that it? Did you read too much into his words?

You got to about fifteen minutes into the first episode when you just couldn’t take it anymore.

“Is everything alright?” you asked.

Aegon turned to look at you,”Sure, why wouldn’t it be?”

“Because you haven’t interrupted the show once, which is highly unlike you, and you’re really unusually fucking quiet.”

Aegon smiled at your directness but once again his smile faded too quickly and never reached his eyes.

“Aegon, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,’ he sighed, a little annoyed.

“Then why won’t you talk to me?” you pressed.

“Because,” he started but then bit his lip and sighed deeply, his hand running across his face,”God, fuck, I’m sorry…I’m so bad at this.

“If you want me to go you can just say…”

“No, please!” he interrupted you and his hand reached for yours, gripping it tight,”Please.”

Your gaze met his and your heart sank seeing the struggle in his beautiful, pleading eyes. 

“Please don’t go,” he repeated, softer.

You nodded and squeezed his hand,”I won’t, I promise.”

He sighed in relief and you moved a little closer to him in the bed,”Why did you invite me over, Aegs?”

“I think you know,” his voice was soft but his gaze even softer, erasing any thoughts you may have had of leaving from your mind.

“I’d like to hear you say it,” you insisted.

You were suddenly very aware of the grip his hand had on yours, clinging to you and very slowly pulling you closer to him. His gaze was no longer soft, his pupils growing darker and blown with lust.

“What do you want?” you breathed.

He licked his lips before he whispered,”I want to pull you into my lap and kiss you. Is that alright?”

You swallowed hard, unable to form any coherent thoughts or words. All you managed was a small nod and it was all Aegon needed to proceed.

He pulled you to him and then gently cupped your face with one hand before leaning in and kissing you, slow and tentative and so soft it was giving you goosebumps all over. Your hands moved to his bare chest and he whimpered at the first contact.

“Sorry,” you giggled into the kiss,”My hands are cold.”

You wanted to pull them back but Aegon was quick to grab them and place them back on his chest,”Your hands are perfect.”

He kissed you again, slow and unhurried, taking his time to taste you and enjoying the way your breathing picked up and the way your hands moved all over his chest and stomach. Then he pulled you into his lap, legs on either side of him and this time you both whimpered when his cock brushed up against your center. Even through the layers of clothing you could feel how hard he was. 

Aegon was kissing you as if he’d been waiting years to do so, as if this was the first kiss, which in a way it was.

There was no audience this time, nobody to put on a show for, it was just you and him, the both of you melting into each other from every angle. He moaned into the kiss when you rolled your hips and then he leaned back to look at you, his gaze both hungry and somehow nervous for your reaction.”Do you want me?” he breathed.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing your forehead against his,”Yes, Aegon.”

His entire face lit up at your confirmation.

You moved your lips to kiss his neck and Aegon’s eyes rolled back into his head, blissful little whimpers escaping his lips as he rocked back against you, letting you feel how desperate he was for you. Your hands moved over his stomach to push at the hem of his boxers, desperate to get them off but Aegon stopped you.

“Shhh, not yet, sweetheart,” he shushed you and then patiently kissed your jaw, your neck, your collarbone until you were a whimpering mess in his lap.

“Please,” you moaned quietly,”I need you.”

“And you’ll have me,” he reassured you,” but first…”

His hand moved down your stomach to untie your shorts while he moved his mouth up to your ear,”First I’m going to put my hand underneath those adorable pink shorts you’re wearing and finger you until you cum all over my hand. Is that alright, sweetheart?”

“Fuck, Aegs,” you breathed.

“Is that a yes?” he teased with a smirk.

“Yes,” you begged,”Please, yes.”

Your plea was enough to urge him to speed things up and he pushed you off of his lap to lay you down on his bed. 

His lips latched onto your neck again while his hand caressed your stomach and pushed up your top, his hand moving underneath to cup your tits, paying equal attention to both of them. His thumb grazed over your nipples before taking one of them into his mouth, his tongue lapping at those sensitive spots and as if that wasn’t driving you crazy already he also moaned into it. 

Your panties were soaked and he hadn’t even touched you there, you weren’t even sure if you would be able to handle it if he did. You were already clenching around nothing, so desperate to feel him inside of you. His cock, his fingers, anything, you didn’t care, you just needed to feel him.

“Aegon, please, baby,” you begged, taking his hand in yours and guiding him down between your legs.

He smirked at your impatience and pulled down the hem of your shorts, his lips brushing the shell of your ear while his fingers slipped into your underwear,”It’s okay, lay back and let me take care of you.”

He continued kissing your neck while his fingers ghosted over your clit, barely touching you but enough to feel how soaked you were.

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he teased,”Oh, sweetheart, I’ve been a bad boyfriend, huh? Not giving you what you needed so desperately.”

You nodded, biting your lip.

Aegon showed mercy on you, finally circling your clit and putting pressure right where you needed it. You couldn’t hold back your moans and your hips started bucking up into his hand.

“You’re so needy, I fucking love it,” he purred,”Look at you grinding against my hand, my sweet dirty girl.”

His voice was adding flames to your fire, making you burn up for him a little more with every word he whispered into your ear.

The way he held eye contact through it all was driving you insane. Like he couldn’t bear to look away from you even for a second, taking in your reactions to every single one of his touches, eagerly learning what you liked the most and repeating that over and over until you couldn’t take it anymore.

Finally he slid a finger inside your dripping heat, making you press your nails into his shoulder. You covered your mouth to muffle your cries of pleasure but Aegon was quick to slap your hand away.

“I wanna hear you,” he whispered,”Wanna hear how good I make you feel, moan for me, sweetheart.”

He added a second finger, fucking you with them at a slow, unhurried pace while his thumb found your clit again.

You moaned shamelessly, grinding against him, feeling that heat coil in your belly as your orgasm started to build.

Aegon watched you closely, speeding up his movements but slowing down when you got too close, keeping you right on that edge until he could see tears spilling from your eyes.

“That’s it, baby” he then moaned into your ear,”You can let go now, cum for me, sweetheart, soak my fingers, please, come on…”

He kissed you again then, slow and deep while he fucked you with his fingers, making sure to keep circling your clit as well. It was enough to push you over the edge.

You came with Aegon’s name on your lips, your entire body convulsing under his touch, bliss filling your every nerve unlike anything you had ever felt. You never wanted this to end.

Aegon slowly kissed you through your orgasm, letting you come down from your high but also keeping his fingers inside of you until every last wave of it had passed through you.

He smiled softly, eventually pulling back.”Was that alright?” he asked quietly but with a little hint of mischief in those beautiful blue eyes.

“Fuck yes, that was alright,” you giggled,”That was...holy shit.”

His smile grew wider, proud, and he kissed you again, deeper this time and when he moved against you, you could feel his cock resting against your inner thigh. Hard and leaking and so ready for you.

Your hand moved to push his boxers down, your impatience taking over again and this time he didn’t stop you but instead helped you take them off and then started tugging at your shorts to do the same. Your panties quickly followed, ending up in the pile next to his bed.

His one hand moved down your inner thigh, spreading you open for him while he pressed his forehead against yours, holding eye contact while his cock nudged at your entrance.”You want this, right?” he breathed, struggling to hold himself back but needing that last bit of consent from you,”I need you to say it, sweetheart, please.”

You just nodded and let your hand brush his cheek.”I want you, Aegon,” you confirmed,”I want you.”

You were both breathing hard, your arms wrapped around his shoulders, holding him close to you as he slowly pushed himself in, inch by inch. He stretched you to the fullest before slowly pulling out and driving back in again.

Your mind was no longer able to form words, all that filled your senses was him. And you realized there was no going back from this moment, the way he held you and looked at you as if you were the best thing to ever happen to him while he filled you up so perfectly. You had never felt so close to anyone in your entire life and it was making you emotional.

And Aegon noticed, even now. He halted his movements to grab your hand and hold it up against his chest.

“Hey, what’s wrong, baby? What is it? Am I hurting you?”

“No, you’re not hurting me,” you reassured him,”Nothing’s wrong, nothing’s…you’re perfect.”

The soft, loving look in his eyes put a smile on your face.

“You’re so perfect, Aegon,” you repeated in a whisper and he leaned in to kiss you softly. You reciprocated hungrily and then he was fucking you again, more urgent than before.

His pace was slow but when you rocked back against him he started going faster, giving you what you both craved. It didn’t take long for you to lose yourself in him again, and Aegon was right with you this time. His breathing erratic and his moans growing louder as his thrusts became less and less controlled.

“I’m close,” he whimpered,”Fuck, I’m so close, baby.”

“Me too,” you breathed, encouraging him to keep going so he did. His fingers connecting with your clit again, giving you that last little push to topple over the edge with him.

“Fuck,” Aegon was breathing heavily, sweat on his forehead, his cheeks flushed red as he tried to hold back and give you what you needed first,”Shit, I need to…”

“Come inside me,” you whimpered, nails digging into his back.

“You sure?” he checked, biting hard on his lip as his thrusts grew harder and less controlled.

“Yes, I’m on the pill,” you reassured him,”Please, I want to feel you…come inside me, Aegs.”

You had barely finished your words when he did just that, his hot seed filling you up as he buried his face into the crook of your neck with a loud grunt. You followed quickly, moaning his name as your own orgasm rippled through you.

Aegon didn’t move for the longest time after that, just holding onto you as you both tried to come down from it. You hugged him close, neither of you feeling the need to speak for a while. You could have laid here for the rest of your life and be happy.

When Aegon finally looked up he noticed the tears in your eyes.

He gently cupped your cheek and brushed them away, his soft eyes meeting yours,“Hey, you okay, sweetheart?” he checked.

“Yeah,” you smiled through your tears.

“Good tears?” he asked with a hopeful smile.

“Good I-just-had-the-most-satisfying-orgasm-in-my-entire-life tears,” you teased and Aegon’s laughter filled the room, making your heart feel full.

He pulled you next to him in the bed, keeping his arms around you to keep you close to him.

“Was that…okay?” he then asked, insecurity clouding his voice.

You nodded and leaned closer, resting your forehead against his.”Yeah,” you whispered.

His sweet smile warmed your heart and when he placed a soft lingering kiss on your lips you knew your heart belonged to him from now on. It was both the best and the worst feeling in the world.

“Stay,” he then whispered softly,”Please stay with me, my sweet girl.”

”I'm not going anywhere, Aegs,” you kissed him back and pulled him into your arms.

****

You texted Sihtric the next morning to cancel your platonic lunch date, followed by a bunch of apologies but he took it like a true gentleman and told you to text him whenever you felt ready and if that didn’t happen that he would understand.

You had been right about him from the start, he was a truly good man.

But there was only one man on your mind since last night.

Waking up next to Aegon still felt like a dream and instead of kicking you out of his bed he had pushed you down into the mattress and fucked you again before breakfast. He even offered for his driver to take you home, which you gladly accepted.

You had spent that entire Sunday living in a haze and went to bed happier than you had in a really long time that night. 

But then the work week started and you got back into the routine. And you didn’t hear from Aegon during those first days, and then Thursday came along and he still hadn’t texted you. 

That’s when the doubt started to set in. What if it had just been a casual fuck for him? What if he didn’t feel even an ounce of what you felt for him? What if he regretted it and now anything you two may have had was ruined before it even got a chance to start?

It was Friday and you had settled on the couch, your phone on your lap and a bottle of wine by your side. Normally under these circumstances you wouldn’t hesitate to call Helaena and pour your heart out to her, but that was obviously not an option right now.

You jumped when there was a sudden loud knock on your door. You didn’t want to hope, you knew it would only hurt all the more if it wasn’t him but you were quick to rise to your feet and open the door anyway, relief flooding your veins upon seeing Aegon on your doorstep. His hair was messy but his smile was bright.

“Hi,” he spoke softly while shamelessly staring at you.

“Hi stranger,” you teased,”Your phone not working?”

“I’m sorry,” he sighed,”I should have…texted, or something.”

“Yeah, you should have,” you replied, unable to hide the hurt in your voice.

“Can I come in? Please?”

You nodded and moved to let him step inside your apartment.

“There’s a film screening by the water tonight,” he then started,”We could go if you want.”

He moved into your living room and you couldn’t help but feel disappointed when he didn’t even touch you. 

Was that all he wanted? To take you out in public and play the fake couple again? Were you still right there after everything that happened? 

No, it couldn’t be true, your heart could not take this.

“I guess we could,” you tried not to sound as devastated as you felt,”If that’s what you want.”

You stopped to look at him and when your eyes met his he let out a deep sigh.

“No, it’s…that’s not what I want at all,” he confessed,”I don’t care about a stupid movie.”

“What do you want then?” you asked, feeling nervous about his answer but needing him to be honest with you anyway.

“You,” he sighed,”I just want you, Y/N.”

Every doubt and fear fell away when his hands grabbed your waist and he pulled you up against his chest, his lips meeting yours in a soft, deep kiss.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered in between kisses,”I should have…called you…I was an idiot…I haven’t…stopped thinking about you…all week. Can you please…forgive me, sweetheart?”

You cupped his face with two hands and kissed him back, unable to stop from smiling.”I forgive you. But don't do that again.”

Aegon didn’t stop kissing you as he pushed you towards the couch, pulling you down onto it with him, making you both giggle. But then he grabbed your neck and looked into your eyes, his gaze suddenly serious and darker.

“Can I fuck you again?” he whispered heavily,”Please?”

“Yes,” you breathed, eyes closing with a soft moan as he started kissing your neck while his hands cupped your breasts through your shirt,”God yes, you can fuck me whenever you want, Aegs.”

It was fast and frantic, clothes were pulled off and discarded, there was no time or no need for foreplay. The both of you starved for each other and when Aegon finally shoved his achingly hard cock inside of you everything was right with the world again. You clung to his shoulders as he fucked you mercilessly on your green couch, bringing you both to a fast and intense climax.

The second time was different, slower, on your bed, with him kissing every inch of skin on your body before he even dared to touch your cunt. When his tongue finally devoured your clit it felt like you ascended to another world and when he fucked you afterwards, lazy and slow and with his eyes on yours the entire time, you cried again.

He kissed away all your tears patiently before making you weep again as he drove you to another mind blowing orgasm. He came with his teeth sinking into the skin of your neck and your name leaving his lips in the most delicious whimper.

****

The weeks that followed felt like a beautiful, romantic and very much not suitable for work dream. You spent your days at work or hanging out with Helaena and you spent your nights in Aegon’s bed, or on your couch, his kitchen table, the balcony of his penthouse, the back of his car, the elevator in your building, …

It didn’t matter what place you were in Aegon needed to have his hands and his mouth on you every night, and preferably in the morning as well. He grew addicted to you fast and you were no less addicted to him.

You felt happy, for the first time in a really long time. Aegon was sweet, always in a good mood and incredibly affectionate. 

He was everything previous boyfriends hadn’t been. 

He’d hold you until you fell asleep in his arms, cuddle up to you in the kitchen while you were cooking, he’d listen to you when you rambled on about customers at work, he’d even bring you breakfast in bed and pick you up after work. He made you laugh every day and every day was better now because of him.

The sex was infinitely better than anything you’d ever had before. Aegon would always make sure you were taken care of first, he wouldn’t even think about his own climax before he’d made you cum first. He also loved to go down on you, usually while you watched Stranger things. He’d eat you out as if he’d been starved for days, making it impossible for you to focus on the plot of the show, which you stopped caring about several episodes ago, you now just put on the show as an excuse to let Aegon have his way with you.

He was the perfect boyfriend in every way, except that he wasn’t your boyfriend.

You never put a name on what you two had and you never talked about your feelings. You didn’t want to push your luck and lose what you had with him. Things were perfect, why force them to change?

It was a slow day at work that Friday when the door opened and Aegon walked in, the store was empty except for the both of you and you could see that eager, mischievous grin on his face as he stepped up to the counter.

“Good afternoon, miss,” he grinned.

“Hi,” you smiled, leaning across the counter to get closer to him. 

Aegon followed your lead.“You alone?”

“Well, there’s one customer in here, it’s this weird but kinda handsome blond guy who comes in every few days,” you teased him,”He never buys anything, doesn’t even look at the books, he just comes in to flirt with me.”

“Hmm, does he now?” Aegon leaned on his elbow, letting his eyes meet yours,”Does he make you uncomfortable? Should I go kick his ass?”

Your lips curled up into a smile,”No. I was just wondering…why he drops by so often.”

Aegon’s hand reached across the counter until he managed to grab your arm and pull you closer.”Maybe he just misses you,” he then whispered. 

“Is that so?” you smiled, feeling your cheeks heat up and Aegon softly pressed his forehead against yours.

“Can you take a break?” he then asked,”Hang up a sign and close the shop for ten minutes.”

“The whole ten minutes, oh my god Aegon Targaryen, you must be every girl’s ultimate sexual fantasy,” you teased and laughed and he hit you on the arm.

But then his eyes locked with yours again, his gaze suddenly intense,“I’m your ultimate sexual fantasy and don’t you fucking deny it.”

You bit your lip shyly and smiled,”I wasn’t going to.”

He grabbed your chin with his thumb, forcing you to look deep into his eyes, nothing but hunger staring back at you,“Close the shop.”

You sighed,“I don’t know, what if my boss happens to drop by?”

Aegon leaned in even closer, just enough so he could nuzzle your cheek, his breath hot on your skin. “Come here,” he whispered and he softly kissed the sensitive spot right below your ear, making you shiver.

His lips brushed the shell of your ear as he whispered,”Been thinking about your pussy all day.”

He smiled when he noticed your breathing picking up and he started kissing and licking your neck, making you breathe even harder.

“Aegs,” you moaned quietly, fingers digging into his arm,”What do you want?”

“I wanna taste you,” he breathed in between kissing your neck and jaw,”Right here…wanna push you up against one of those book shelves…tear those jeans and panties off of you…kiss your thighs….suck on your clit until she’s all sensitive and throbbing for me…then…I’m gonna fuck you slowly with my tongue, get you all nice and wet and then…”

“Jesus fuck, alright, I’ll close the shop!”

Aegon smirked and licked his lips while you rushed to lock the door and hang up the Closed sign. Before he could say another word you pulled him with you towards the back of the store.

It turned out ten minutes was more than long enough for Aegon to make you cum twice, once with his head nestled between your thighs and the second time with his cock buried deep inside of you, thrusting so hard the entire bookshelf was shaking. 

You held onto him so tight afterwards, fingers deep into the skin of his back as you buried your face against his neck.

“God, I’ve missed that,” he whispered in between kissing your shoulder,”I’ve missed you, so fucking much.”

“Missed you too,” you breathed.

Everything was so perfect, if you had known how quickly it would all fall to pieces afterwards you never would have said a damn thing.

You hadn’t meant to say it, you just got caught up in the moment and the way he was looking at you with those soft, loving eyes of his.

“I love you so much,” you breathed against his lips and Aegon froze.

He recovered quickly, trying to shut you up with more kisses and you reassured him that it was okay, that he didn’t need to say it back to you and that it was just a heat of the moment thing and not a big deal.

But it was a big deal, it seemed like a huge fucking deal to Aegon. 

It was the beginning of the end.

[solitudeandseclusion]

SPOILERS. ALL of my thoughts while watching love next door ep 9 (i don't think i've done this since crash course in romance)

every time i see a new love next door episode is longer than the last one, i feel more alive. let's feast.

in most (almost all) kdramas i've watched till date, they don't really show intimacy between an ex-couple, especially no kissing (marry my husband is a recent example). even in flashbacks. love next door at least has some physical affection which is nice to see. seokryu really seemed happy with hyeonjun in the past.

seunghyo being all chivalrous is indeed weird to witness, but i guess he's trying. also the car he drives is ugly af (i guess i'm chatty today 😂).

god, the loneliness of being in another country and not being able to tell your parents about your health issues.

at least seunghyo is still a bit objective even when he's jealous. jung mo-eum, ily you're a great wingman. your love story is gonna be fun.

SHE STILL CAN'T TELL HER PARENTS. THAT HOUSE IS NO GOOD FOR HER!! and now she's feeling sick again :/

ooh choi seunghyo's parents romancing a bit. LOVE IT. lmao the difference between them eating that ramyeon. i hope their past wasn't too ugly 🙈

dramatic ass seunghyo screaming for that milk carton. boy, you already have a photo of the thing, that carton is not so important. desperate loser you're never in the office to care of that tree 😭😭

WHEN WILL THEY ADDRESS THAT HYEONJUN CHEATED???? CAN HE STOP ASKING HER TO GET BACK WITH HIM??

look i love seokryu to bits but she was rude to negate seunhyo's feelings like that. i know there must a reason but it's hurtful. and i'm glad my boy said it.

you can't convince me that danho DIDN'T know what he was doing with that t-shirt. poor mo-eum lol. really really enjoying seokryu's knowing look when she looks at mo-eum praising dan-ho.

oh fuck off chris. i am glad she beat you up & you got fired.

oh so hyeonjun didn't cheat. but i don't like his attitude with her anymore. i get it, it's hard to be with someone who is depressed. i wish they could've talked it out instead of letting it fester and him then blowing up in her face. but well, that's how it goes.

she's rejecting love entirely noooo i'm gonna kms. i hope she gets better pls pls pls.

i don't ever care about anyone's occupations in a kdrama but i have to say seunghyo is a good boss. oh now i see why he was so mad at the end of ep 6. seokryu really does drive him to madness so much so that he is actually unwell.

the child actors are so good. (the last time i was so happy with child actors was in the good bad mother). AARRGHHH. his mother is always away from him and seokryu is always by his side all through his childhood. and now when his feelings for seokryu are making him sick, he sees his mother. OH now seokryu's there too. both women the bane of his existence at different points in his life.

aww my lovely mo-eum being so awkward lmao. every interaction between her and kang danho makes me happy.

ohh so seunghyo's mom wasn't really there then? nooo don't look into her stuff, that's rude. nooo seokryu don't brush it off girl wth? he is DEVASTATED. no great now i'm crying. GIVE ME EPISODE 10 NOW.

[flower-boi16]

the thing is with viv's fat "rep" she could've actually done something good with it if she put THOUGHT behind as to WHY these characters act that way. she has such a large audience she could've impacted them in a meaningful way but as we all always say, it's viv. so that dream goes down the drain.

as someone who is overweight *because* of eating disorder issues, someone who fits the stereotype of "eating too much" and thus being heavier, i am the punching bag for people and "jokes" and harassment because of that. i remember watching the beezlebub episode, being excited for the design, and maybe just a LITTLE representation - and then boom! It's just furry bait 2.0 with lava lamp hair and the same build like every female character in the hellaverse. you can make asmodeus horny, you can make mammon greedy, but you can't make beezlebub a glutton? she literally summons FOOD. if you're gonna represent nothing but stereotypes, why not stick to it?? same went for mimzy. only character i was excited for and she's just another asshole and hated for it, even though the main cast isn't better in any way, but that's H*H and H*B for you, hypocrisy.

maybe adam got severely depressed when lilith left, and thus, he started stress eating, or that mammon does it because he feels like he never has enough (greed). just a half-assed explanation would've sufficed.

anyways, much much love to the beezlebub redesigns out there.

All of what you said would require Viv to actually put effort into her fat rep, which she clearly doesn't care about. She'd rather make all of her fat characters one-dimensional stereotypes than have actual depth, while she tries to put effort into her skinny-ass characters and give them depth, the fat ones are all just one-dimensional assholes with little depth.

I don't hate Beezlebulb's design as much as others do but the fact that Viv made a GLUTTON look skinny af is very weird, but then again, that's probably because then Viv would be forced to make a fat character that's more than just a one-dimensional asshole, so she made her skinny instead.

Also, the fact that Adam is apparently supposed to be fat despite STILL LOOKING SKINNY AF. Like, if you want to make a character fat, do the bare fucking minimum and ACTUALLY MAKE HIM LOOK FAT!!!!! But that would take effort, now would it? And that's the thing, Viv doesn't put effort into her fat characters; she always makes them one-dimensional assholes with no depth, none of them are actual characters, they all have the same fucking personality.

Oh, and I'll also never forget the fact that Viv had a fat character, Mammon, fat shame fucking FIZZAROLLI OF ALL CHARACTERS. Fizz looks skinny as hell! Yes, fat people can be fatphobic but like wouldn't it make more sense for Mammon to fat shame an actual FAT CHARACTER? But again, doing that would take effort, and Viv clearly doesn't want to do that.

I used to think that Viv can't be fatphobic because she herself is fat - until someone in my replies pointed out that fat people can still be fatphobic so...

...ya, judging by Viv's writing, she's very fatphobic. Until Viv actually makes a fat character with actual effort put into them, my mind is not going to change. Honestly, when I become a writer when I grow older I'll look at Hellaverse as a clear lesson of what NOT TO DO when making a fat character.

[thetreefairy]

Platonic Aizawa and Present mic where reader was doing a patrol with a few friends of class 1A and Hitoshi and something happens and reader gets trapped with this hero that panicked saving their self and left reader for dead.

Did I make this while in a depressive episode yes, so if its more like comedy then angst hehe-

Kofi

Warnings: implied murder, class 1-a tells erasermic what happened much to the heroes dismay, Reader wakes up kidnapped, class 1-a is also a yandere.

It was Reader’s first mission together with Hitoshi and Uraraka. They were incredibly excited, especially since they were with their favorite hero: NYX. “We will be doing a rescue mission, if you sense any danger get out of there.” Nyx told them. “Take care of each other. [Hero name], you are with me.”

“Understood!” Reader agreed happily. “Stay safe.” Hitoshi whispered in his sibling’s ear as they separated. “I will.”

Well, Reader tried. During the rescue mission they were caught by villains, and NYX left Reader and the victim as the main villain made the building collapse. Reader used their body to protect the victim causing Reader to pass out.

“[Hero name]? "Please be okay!” the victim shouted. The victim kept shouting for help and help.

“Where is Reader?” Hitoshi asked NYX when he saw them come out alone. “They were supposed to be behind me.” NYX lied, turning around in fake concern. “Where are they?” Uraraka asked, feeling nervous.

“Uraraka, call Eraserhead. I will deal with NYX.”

When Erasermic had arrived at the scene, multiple heroes were trying to get into the building and get Reader. Uraraka made the ruins float and when Tokoyami arrived together with Hawks he used Dark Shadow to lift up wrecks. “Bird!” The victim shouted. “[Hero Name] is injured! Please help! Please!”

“Go to Reader, Hitoshi. We will take care of NYX.” Present mic told his adoptive son. “Fuck them up.” Hitoshi told his dads. Eraserhead just nodded and pushed them away.

“We are going to talk.” Eraserhead told NYX and Present mic started to drag them towards an alleyway.

“Fucking hell.” Hitoshi gasped out when he saw his siblings' injuries. “I am so sorry.” The victim apologized. “You have nothing to say sorry for.” Hitoshi promised her. “Hitoshi, go with Reader into ambulance. We will give Eraserhead and Present Mic the location.”

Hitoshi nodded at Uraraka.

When Reader woke up they were in a  hospital-like room. But when they looked out of the window they saw that they weren’t. It looked like Aizawa’s home scenery.

“Shouldn’t I be in the dorms?” Reader mumbled out loud. “Reader!” Hizashi shouted happily and hugged them. “You woke up.”

Hizashi started crying as Aizawa, Hitoshi and Uraraka rushed in. Luckily there was a lot of room. “What the fuck is going on?” Reader mumbled out. “Papa, why am I here instead of a hospital? Is Miss Butterfly okay?”

“Miss butterfly is okay.” Hitoshi told Reader. Class 1-a nodded and Uraraka said: “She is alright, she gave me this letter to give to you.”

Uraraka showed Reader the letter and then put it down on the desk. “she was really sad when we told her you wouldn’t become a hero.” Hitoshi chuckled as Aizawa petted your hair. “Wait, why wouldn’t I become a hero?”

“Don’t worry Reader! Class 1-a will visit a lot!” Uraraka said in a comforting tone. “Now hold on, who said I won’t be a hero?”

“We did.” Aizawa said. Reader looked at Hizashi. “Mainly me actually.” Hizashi casually said. “Shota thought you would still be able to be a support hero, but you are way too precious for that!”

“What the fuck.”

[idrawstuffidk]

Ok. I’m typing this while watching the premier bc I don’t know if I can do this. Live reaction I guess.

30 second left, why must I suffer this way? None of these emojis are accurate to how I’m feeling

Fuck you monotv

Someone voted for Teruko? Who?

NOOOOOOOOOO

Why would you think that, whit?

You absolutely can blame yourselves, hu.

Oh ace he looks so tired

Acevi is dead and alive at the same time oh my gosh

Oh here we go Teruko! Killing monotv is an idea. I don’t think it would matter though

OH SHIT GO OFF ACE

Well… you did kill monotv in a way… bc you messed up their personality

This is not going to work

Awwwwww whit telling Charles to cover his eyes is so sweet

Well… I respect that Teruko, I guess

That’s depressing, Teruko

Oh wow that’s not teruko’s blood is it

LEVI!?!?!?!?

OH MY GOSH HES OK

Ace is going to let himself die to save Levi??

OH MY GOSH ACE YOU SWEET THING

C’mon, Arturo! I know you can do it!

Oh my gosh ace you are so sweet and so right!

I don’t want to watch this, my poor baby. I love you so much Ace.

NO I DONT LIKE HIS CRYING SPRITE

Oh this is an interesting execution I guess

STOP TORMENTING HIM ALREADY

At least he wasn’t drawn and quartered like we thought he would be. I don’t know if this is worse…

I’m liking this character development, Teruko! I’m liking you more more!

No it’s not your fault Teruko, your choices didn’t kill them, so it isn’t your fault. Her crying spites are so sad btw.

Ok so, final thoughts.

1. Ace running through his execution was likely because he was trying to get to the end as fast as he could to save Levi, and I like the autonomy that gives him

2. Levi saved Teruko just like he said he would. Levi said he would never let Teruko get hurt as long as they were classmates

3. Everyone is projecting this episode, Teruko projected onto Ace, Ace projected onto Arturo, wow.

4. I hate Hu with a burning passion still, I hope she and Veronika die!! ❤️

5. Acevi is so canon and I am openly weeping (actually I’m not this time probably bc I’m writing this which is helping more than I thought it would)

6. I cannot get over this, Ace is so fucking cool and I love him so fucking much

7. I loved reading monotv’s robo voice. Very fun

8. So Ace clearly blames himself for whatever happened to the one person who he ever considered a friend, it involves his hands or his gloves or smt, idk what that’s about but I hope we learn more

9. I think Levi will live, it seems like good character development potential for him

10. The CGs and animations were on fucking point.

[venus-is-thinking]

DRDT Chapter 2 Episode 12: Initial Thoughts

Hello everyone! I thought it'd be fun to do a post going over some of my first thoughts from the episode after each release. "Initial" is a bit of a stretch, considering I did watch it a second time while making this post, but it's more "initial" in the context of being before the next episode drops. It's sort of like my "initial thoughts" of the Milgram MVs, which are actually the result of, like, 3 hours of obsessing and research, lol.

(By the way, @accirax and I watched the episode together, so apologies if her initial thoughts end up being, like, the same as mine.)

SPOILER WARNING FOR DRDT CH 2 EP 12!

T/W: Body image issues/body dysmorphia, murder, suicide

The Reactions

Confirmation of what I think most of us already suspected! I do think it's a little weird that Nico didn't bring up their testimony about all of the fish being there at the last time they fed the fish. That probably means it's being saved for later in the Trial, I guess?

It's okay Teruko, I saw literally no one in the entire fanbase figure this one out either!

Why is everyone so mean to her though. Everyone here has been an idiot in the Trials at LEAST once

God I missed David

This was so funny. Get his ass.

(In all seriousness, though, I do wonder if we're going to come back to what J said. I don't currently (?) think Arei was drenched, unless the real purpose of the water WAS just to confuse the time of death, so if the water didn't connect with her enough to cool her down, it might be weird that the body isn't warm after all.)

This took me out. Who let you say that. What.

Okay, but Ace, outside of a killing game... why. Like, literally why would a plastic surgeon need to know how to do an autopsy. King.

Like Felicity...? /hj

All in all, though, this was a really interesting character moment for Arturo! And god, the fact that he started learning medical knowledge and spedrun plastic surgery specifically since age 12 HAS to mean something. My vague theories of Felicity having struggles with body image/dysmorphia (Arturo's section of this post) are... maybe real???

Honestly, I'm starting to wonder if Arturo is going to go farther in this game. I don't expect him to survive or anything, but I could see it taking him a surprisingly long time to die. He feels like he's got too much lore to unpack to die, like, next chapter. Unless he gets HELLA focused next chapter, which is definitely possible.

This is so silly. I love them.

(Note: I'm not a Whit mastermind truther, but if I were, I would point out that MonoTV sort of covering up a rules violation for Whit could be relevant. I'm not a Whit mastermind truther though, so I think this is just a very silly joke a la "no wifi! why live :(" )

Well you see Eden, the killer would have actually had all night to prepare. If, say, they mentioned that they could dial in and focus on their work for like 14 hours straight, they could have gotten a lot done before 7:30 AM!

I'll talk about this more later, but the fact that J, David, Veronika, Hu and Nico seemingly have alibis that actually matter is so iconic. I can't believe that many theories died that quick. I'll talk about that more in my theories section, though!

It's been said before, but. Funniest fucking reaction to being declared innocent of murder.

"David still has a family history of depression even if that isn't his secret" nation where you at?

This one made me laugh out loud. Who does it like him

How truthful do we think David is in this next section? I refuse to believe it's 100% a lie, just because he's cooking SO hard on SOMETHING, but I could also believe David thinks he's lying to an extent. I could definitely see a "the best lies are based on the truth" kind of thing?

Also, damn. Xanvid really is real. LGI got me to believe it but WOW David's just being gay on main now

This was a really good, succinct way to have Teruko show her opposition to David's ideas. Even if it is to end the killing game or do something "good' or whatever, Teruko is still hurt and betrayed by what Xander did. Xander tried to kill her, and presumably would have tried to kill everyone else. David is now doing the same thing.

It's going to be really interesting if, whether genuine or not, David is kinda taking on Xander's position. That's going to give Teruko a reason to (outwardly) hate him even more. I'm really looking forward to learning more about how both Teruko and David view Xander.

Also, it's so fucking funny that Teruko and David are literally fighting over Xander. Like, valid, but. Guys.

(Also, David soooo knows Teruko's secret is the killing game is all your fault. Idk if he specifically knows that Xander's plan was to kill Teruko no matter what, but he's definitely caught on to some extent.)

This was crazy. Is Xander famous? Why would everyone recognize him? Like, did David just take particular notice of Xander because he's a simp, or is there something else going on?

Notably, it's also extremely interesting that David says "Even if you all lost a year of memories for this killing game." It almost implies that David didn't? What do you know???

Also, if David DOES have weird memories about this that no one else does, it's a really interesting comparison to Teruko remembering the existence of a killing game in the area investigation when she was talking to Veronika. Are these two getting special memory privileges because they're important? Or does everyone have some kind of memory that they all should have, but only one person knows each thing?

At first I was confused when David said this, because I really don't know how dear anyone in DRDT's life to him was other than Xander. But then I realized, if David is talking about killing 15 others and yourself, he's definitely still talking about Xander's mindset. Xander had something worth the lives of 16 people that he was trying to do.

I don't know how much David cares about ending the killing game. I wonder if "belief in Xander" is the thing he's willing to kill 13 people plus himself for?

I'm starting to get REALLY curious what J's deal is. Between this and her voiced line earlier in the trial saying something along the lines of "it's like you all still haven't grasped just how serious murder is," she definitely seems to have strong opinions on specifically the morality of killing other people. WHY is she being singled out with these beliefs, what does it say about her, and where is her character headed?

(If she is the mastermind, does this couple with the "all murderers must be held accountable" rule?)

"Any answer" is so funny. I think she's looking for the truthful answer, David. This is why no one believes you when you say anything ever /aff

Notably, this is VERY similar to the plan Eden came up with that Veronika described: using the fact that TV shows need entertainment to continue to end the killing game. It's the same thing, but with a much more depressed "everyone should just give up" kind of flavor.

The level of similarity does make me think David is probably not being 100% truthful, and that he just repurposed Eden's escape plan to be something sort of similar to what he was going for.

I do think that he WAS trying to defeat the killing game by killing people through the class trial. I just think that, between Xander's actions and the motive secret he received, he was trying to kill Teruko specifically. Yet another way that David's unhinged behavior ties into the Chapter 2 secrets.

*Hu hopeless child looms in the distance*

I'm so glad that Hu gets to pop off though. She really hasn't gotten, like, any content in the series so far. Here's hoping this is kicking off her getting a bunch of time to shine!

Interesting that they had both Ace and Hu cut Nico off in this interaction. The staging definitely implies that they're trying to show that while Ace is wrong for talking over Nico and not letting them say anything, Hu is also wrong to an extent for not letting Nico defend themself and running to their rescue all the time.

I am begging you. Please discuss the murder method. I didn't realize until my rewatch of the trial that they have actually literally not talked about the murder method at ALL except for telling David that he doesn't know shit about it.

HUH?????????????

Theory Update/Analysis

Well, I'm gonna start this off by saying that I'm still pretty locked into Eden being the killer. We still need to address the tape, and I personally still found her to be decently shifty now behavior wise (she seemed nervous when we turned back to solving the trial, and she says something about "it's too hard to narrow down the killer :/" when people were talking about morning alibis). I just think it makes the most sense.

While obviously my logic for why Levi would be the accomplice has to be at least somewhat flawed, given Levi's surprise confession (!!!), I still think it's possible that Levi is the accomplice here. He could be doing this to further confuse/complicate the state of things (hence why he calls it leading people astray), and it's possible he's not being 100% honest here.

Something that Levi could be doing here is taking control of the situation and spinning the truth in his favor. Hu mentioned earlier (e11, I think?) that the secrets are phrased dramatically. Similarly, Levi may be trying to offer an explanation for his secret that might be more tame, but still believable.

For example, if Levi says that he killed one of his parents because of the circumstances he grew up in, but it turned out that his parents were extremely abusive to him in some way (cough cough Amane Momose), wouldn't people be more willing to forgive the fact that he's a "murderer"? There are different levels to the culpability of murders.

So, it's definitely possible this is still an attempt by Levi to conceal the truth of his secret. It's true that, right now, no one's really trying to match all of the remaining secrets up with the remaining secret holders in-universe, but the entire fanbase pretty much slam dunked this one. Once the content of the secrets was revealed, it wasn't too difficult to track the origin of this secret to Levi. Levi might know that, and might be trying to spin it in a positive way while he can get everyone's attention and tell everyone the same narrative here in the class trial.

I don't think any Levi accomplice or killer truthers have to fully give up on the idea, or at least not until we see what Levi actually says after this. It's a WILD topic to reveal we're going to talk about, but we haven't actually talked about it yet. If we were told "we get David's motivations for trying to throw the trial," I doubt literally any of us would have locked in the prediction of "David is trying to follow in Xander's footsteps by killing everyone via the trial because he kind of remembers Xander." So, until next week, I'm keeping an open mind!

This was insane. I can't believe we actually got a new episode, and that we're gonna KEEP getting new episodes until the chapter finishes. What the fuck!!!

[the-scooby-gang]

Character assassination and delayed puberty: VelmaHBO mishandling of Fred Jones

As I write the "I watched Velma HBO so you don't have too" reviews for episode 1 and 2, I decided to post this thought process I had regarding Fred's mischaracterization and, specifically, about the choice of giving him delayed puberty.

In the show, Mindy Kaling's self insert (because that ain't Velma in this or in the next life) comes to the conclusion that Fred is such a "spoiled white privileged brat" that his body didn't see the point of growing up at all.

First of all: Fuck that

Second of all: Whose brilliant idea (we all know who, but lets pretend for a second here) was it to turn FRED JONES: cheerleader; net lover; circus enjoyer; himbo friend; golden retriever sunshine boy and "I love my friends and my van so much you guys" into THIS?!?!

Is it because he is white, blond and has blue eyes???? Because it would be easy to make him into a caricature of white supremacy???

Yes. That's exactly why they changed Fred. Because it was easy.

I will go deeper on this in the full review of episode 1 and 2 (god help me) but this whole show is written in the most lazy way possible with jokes that would have fit perfectly in a edgy early 2000s show, where characters become those straw men versions of liberals conservatives IMAGINE exist.

Where people of color complain all the time about white supremacy but don't go deeper into it, its just complaining for the sake of complaining;

Where they bring genuine arguments people make but with zero nuance or though behind them, instead the writers put what THEY imagine it is about and, 99.9% of the time, they attribute it to people being "tOo sEnSiTiVe" and " tRiGgErEd SnOwFlAkEs"

Where people blow things out of proportion and accuse people left and right of being fascists (when they call Fred "Hitler" the background character says "he looks like Hitler. And I'm not just saying that because we call anyone Hitler nowadays") completely disregarding the WHY people in real life are calling out fascist behavior when they see it. Hello rise of fascism happening on the world, how is the INVASION OF CAPITOL IN AMERICA and THE INVASION AND DEPREDATION OF THE PLANALTO IN BRAZIL going for you?!;

This show is Family Guy. I would say it's worse than Family Guy even.

Third of all: Delayed puberty is an Actual Thing That Happens To People. It's something that can happen at random or it can be a genetic disorder shared in the family. It can be a symptom of something way more serious or something benign.

Many people that suffer from delayed puberty suffer from low self esteem because they have to watch their friends grow and develop when the same thing's not happening to them. They may feel like they're never going to catch up.

People are bullied over this, people develop depression.

And now these people are the punch line of this mean spirited joke.

I can even envision a better show where Fred still has delayed puberty, but instead of being the butt of jokes where people keep commenting on the size of the penis of this HIGH SCHOOLER, they treat as the constitutional delay it is. Fred is a late bloomer. It may be caused by a pattern of growth and development in his family, it may be a chronic illnesses he has. Can you imagine Fred with something like asthma or diabetes?

Lets go with that, lets imagine a Fred with diabetes, who is not receiving a proper treatment for said diabetes (maybe because his parents subscribe to that style of parenting where they are more concerned about appearances than the well being of their kid. "No, he has no problem. He is a perfectly healthy Jones."

Or they are the kind that say shit like this: "He doesn't have blurry vision he is just a lazy student, that's an excuse," or "You would stop going so much to the bathroom to piss if you stoped drinking water all the time" or even "I told you to not stay awake all night on those weird net making websites, now you're tired in class. What kind of mother they must think I am..." "But I didn't stay up all night, I swear–" "Don't you lie to me Frederick") and as such the side effects and symptoms are left unchecked.

So the Fred Velma, and we the audience, are introduced too is the heir of this fortune... who can't stay standing because he is constantly tired, has completely given up on trying to apply himself on school because he can't see the fucking board his vision is so blurry, has passed out at least once in gym, drinks water like he lives in a dessert and is so self conscious about his body that even his girlfriend hasn't seen him shirtless even once. The swim team hasn't seen him shirtless even once, so there are these whiplash inducing photos in the year book where is a bunch of guys in speedos nest to this one dude in an early 20th century striped swimming suit.

In episode 1 itself Velma's vision of Fred can start biased, after all from a distance a person that doesn't know Fred personally can chalk his behavior to "rich dramatic boy that knows he doesn't need to put effort into learning since he already has a fortune guaranteed for him after all this, so he is just sleeping and vibing and being dramatic through high school" but as the episode progresses and she gets to know Fred, she notices that the image doesn't fit. Fred, who has such in depth knowledge about physics and mechanics, who clearly loves his girlfriend very much and feels bad about the murder of this girl he considered a friend. The image of "Rich guy that doesn't care" is not fitting.

I want it to be a Velma and Daphne epiphany. About Daphne talking about all these things Fred has told her or that she noticed about him to Velma as they look for clues and it hits Velma as a she connects all together. The tiredness, the pissing, the thirst, the blurry vision.

Daphne may have not seen it because she is too close but with Velma's outside perspective the pieces fall into place.

Now lets imagine that instead of cop lesbian moms, Daphne could have lesbian doctor/nurse moms. They take him to them and they give him what he desperately needed:

"No, dear. You're not lazy, or broken, or an attention seeker, or any other bullshit your parents called you. You have diabetes. Type 1 to be precise."

After Daphne and Velma hug a crying Fred until he has no more tears to give, the series progresses with Fred now treating his diabetes as one of its recurring plot lines.

I want Daphne to have extra insulin in her purse, I want Shaggy to help Fred with his new diet, I want Fred and Velma to go exercising together and have deep conversations about body image and how they deal with it (Fred with his delayed puberty, Velma with her extra weight)

"Mature" and "Adult" content doesn't need to be edgy sex-violence-and-drugs.

It can be simply a story of a high schooler having to deal with diabetes in a country were insulin is expensive as fuck, some parents are more willing to let their kids suffer than offer any kind of help or even admit that there may be a problem in the first place, of dealing with body image and things that are out of your control.

Just a thought.

This is a post by The-Scooby-Gang, thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

[fritoley]

The Dragon Prince Thoughts 6x08 - We All Fall Down

Previous Episode // Masterlist // Next Episode

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Spoilers under the cut

Omgg i’m so scared—

AHH

And it starts

Omg sol regem banging into the towers and stuff too this is wild

OH NO THEY’RE TRAPPED

Shit—

OH SHIT

SOREN NO—

Plsbeokayplsbeokayplsbeokayplsbeokay—

HE’S ALIVE WHOO

Omg babeee ur bleeding—

Now he’s really gonna have a scar like corvus

“Get everyone out”

See he learned from the pyrrah incident in s2 he’s prioritizing the people now that he’s not in the whole “xadia is evil” mindset

Hey wait where’s he going—

“Take good care of Hat.”

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??

SOREN—honey—wHaT aRe YoU dOiNg—

WHAT

AARAVOS IS CONTROLLING PHAROS—

Is this cuz the dark magic infection thingy

Omg viren’s been in there for a long time lmao—

“You have your other way! Dark magic!”

Notice how soren said “your other way” as if he still doesn’t condone it, but he knows it’s the only way to save everyone

Dark magic is so nuanced in situations like these like yeah it’s last resort but if you’re someone who hates it with a passion and then you end up needing it what are you supposed to do

Do you give up your ideals for the greater good or stand your ground and risk disaster

That’s why i love this show so much there’s no clear bad guy

“Take my heart.”

SOREN N O

S T O P

NO

I mean what else is he supposed to do yeah but STILL—

N O O O O O O o o O omg pls—

No not soren

Omg i’m so scared not soren PLEASE—

I’m actually gonna cry if he dies please no—

OH MY GOSH IS VIREN USING HIS OWN HEART—

GAHHH I CAN’T TAKE IT

Just as i forgave him too—

GAHH NO it’s the way he’s ACTIVELY DYING while doing the spell to the point he can barely say the incantation 😭😭😭😭😭😭

“I am a… servant.”

This scene pretty much speaks for itself idrk what to say

This shit is sad like fuck—

“My dad! I need to find my dad!”

CLAUDIA NO

Oooomg she’s gonna lose it if she finds him

Full azula mode

“What happened to your beloved mate who disappeared?”

Is he says he ate her imma pop off—

Who even is aithne solaire? Was she mentionedin something?

“In your fury, you buried her.. Alive.”

WHAT THE FUCK—

Like actually???

Not the way aaravos just dies laughing after dropping the darkest most depressing truth bomb ever—

OMG HE ATE PHAROS

“Choke on your own pride.”

HOW THE FUCK IS HE CHOKING ON A TINY LITTLE ELF

Oh my gosh—

This is just brutal

i'm terrified of choking too so it's that much worse

AND HE CATCHES ON FIRE—

“I don’t think you should see him like this.”

Ugh i love terry for being so considerate after everything she’s done

Like yes save the last of her sanity while she still has it

This episode is hard to watch—

The voice acting is impeccable tho like give claudia’s va a raise

OH SHIT SHE FOUND THE PEARL—

Lujanne giving no fucks about the crown is the funniest thing

But wtf is she talking about the diamond don’t tell me it’s fake—

“Her dad just died. Can’t she just take a moment to grieve?”

FINALLY Terry’s talking sense like shit aaravos at least give her a minute—

I KNEW IT

I FUCKIN KNEW IT

VIREN’S STAFF HAS A QUASAR DIAMOND

I literally said it like 2-3 episodes ago too

WAIT THAT MEANS—

“I can only save two of them.”

Oh you’ve gotta be kidding me—

Alright y’all it’s a wrap. Katolis is gone, viren is dead, aaravos is getting out, it’s a whole ass shit show. Ooooooomg i’m scaredddddd. Especially when callum finds out the real pearl was in katolis all along, i guarantee you he’s gonna spiral like he did in kosmo’s vision. This episode was really hard to watch, I was surprised, but in a good way. One more episode to go, then season sevennnnnnnnn whoooo

Time to cry :D