#so who knows maybe you might see fanfic from me in the future

[oifaaa]

i would like to see the no tim fic 👀

I've got some bad news for you then friend my 200,000 word fanfic isn't real (not yet at least)

[wowbright]

I never want to discourage anyone from commenting on fanfics that they enjoy when they want to share their appreciation with fanfic authors.

At the same time, I cannot convey how discouraging it is to me, as an author, to get comments on years-old fanfic that basically do nothing but tell me that I'm doing storytelling wrong. I have one story in particular where the character has a limited point of view and interprets a common phenomenon differently than many people who live in our real world interpret it. But this is intentional! It's an illustration of the character's thinking and point of view. But instead of people trusting that I might know what I'm doing, I *to this day* get comments from people who have never left a nice word on my fanfic about "well, apparently you don't know this, but actually, that's not the way the world works." And like, if they kept reading the story, maybe they would realize that the decision was intentional? But no, they feel the need to make the comment right off the bat. I mean, just *asking* me if the decision was intentional instead of telling me that I'm wrong would be an improvement. It would give me a chance to clarify, and if there is actually something in my writing I could change to make it clear that this is the character's point of view and not intended to be a representation of the real world, we could have that discussion and maybe I would improve as a writer in the future. But instead I get these discouraging "corrections" that really don't leave a lot of room for dialogue--because at this point I've gotten so tired of them that I just don't approve the comments. And a thing that could have become a dialogue and perhaps even a fandom friendship gets aborted right off the bat, because (even if it wasn't meant that way) it comes across as an intentionally bad-faith reading and, honestly, I don't want to form community with people who read things in bad faith.

(Now, if I already know you and you say something like this, I might find it discouraging but I will also know you're not acting in bad faith, so we can recover from it. But if you just randomly alight on people's fanfic to tell them they're doing it wrong, you're not going to get any sense of community out of fandom.)

On another note, this might be a good reason for well intentioned commenters to keep commenting on old fanfic! Because at this point I would say the majority of comments I get on that old fanfic are "correction" ones. Since the fanfic still gets kudos, I assume there are people still reading it and enjoying it, but I hear less from them. So if nothing else, leaving a kind comment, even something as little as a ❤️, on an old fanfic can help buffer authors against the negative comments they may continue to receive on that fic.

(And just because you don't see any negative comments in the comment section doesn't mean they aren't receiving them. On AO3 and many other platforms, authors can delete or screen out comments--so they could have received them but aren't letting them show up in their comments section.)

[dduane]

Hello! I was wondering if you’ve shared your ao3 account? Like, have you acknowledged “this account is mine,” or do you keep it personal? Totally respect if you keep it under wraps I just wanted to know if I’m missing something. Hope my wording of this makes sense!

No, it's OK, I get it. You're asking "Have you publicly ID'd a given AO3 account as yours?"

No, and I'm not going to. Because it contains fanfic I've written for pleasure—exactly as I started writing it in my teens—and I have no desire to have that publicly connected with me.

Leaving the usual legal concerns aside (and not being even slightly concerned that a judge would fail to find the fiction "transformational", if the truth came out in a court of law) a significant part of this effort is about answering the question: "What would happen if people read fiction of mine and they didn't know Diane Duane was responsible for it? What would their reaction be?" That urge to discover whether the fiction stands on its own, without the inevitable shadow cast by one’s reputational backstop, still comes up for me in some moods. So when the itch to write fanfic comes up, I scratch it. And all I can say is that, by and large, the results have been satisfying.

Frankly, it's a ton of fun. There's no one to satisfy (at the most immediate level) except me and the local embodiment of the Creative Urge. No one will ever accuse me of "just churning [this] out for more $$$$", because there is no $$$$. And there's room to stretch further and harder than I might normally do in my public work (because there's more forgiveness for failure: and in the arts, I think, failure is absolutely one of the most effective ways to grow). Whatever comes back to me in return for this work—and it is work, some of the hardest I've ever done—is in the form of raw appreciation. So, people, on behalf of my colleagues, let me just say: comment on AO3 fics, yeah? You don't have to be fulsome about it. A word or two will do. And bestow kudos where you may. It's all an AO3 fanfic writer asks.

...And of course some people will say: "Are you off your rocker? You're traditionally published for decades, you have awards, you've been on bestseller lists, how can you not be sure that what you're doing's any good?" ...But you know, no writer is sure all the time. All of us wake up in the middle of the night some time(s), thinking "I'm not sure I've still got it..." and squeezing our eyes shut in terror of future reviews containing the horrible conjecture that Maybe We Never Really Had It To Start With. When you've spent a significant portion of your lifetime making stuff (up) out of nothing, the horrible suspicion that maybe it really has been nothing all the time—I mean, nothing nothing—is unavoidable.

So sometimes some of us want to go out in disguise (and I don't mean paid pseudonymic work: that proves nothing in this particular arena) and see how we fare. I know other traditionally-published writers who've done this—names that would surprise you—and who, by and large, have done it for the same reasons. We are the dark figures, hooded and cloaked, sitting in the shadows of some of the more prominent fandoms that express themselves on AO3; eyes glinting in the firelight, enjoying the reactions to the stories we've got to tell.

It's not bad here, in the shadows. For one thing, you're in a better position to appreciate the figures moving in the light. There's a lot of extraordinary talent on AO3 (and elsewhere in the online fanfic world), sharing stuff with us out of their own hard work and from their own urge toward grace. It's a privilege to read them. (Some of them are better writers than I am. I appreciate them: and comment, and leave kudos, because that's how appreciation is concretely shown. And I take notes.)

Beyond that, there's nothing much to add except that I have no plans to stop. And also: that I think kindly every single day of the very small and exclusive group of people who know "who" I am on AO3, and have kindly kept that data to themselves. Your confidence honors me, friends. May the Work do you honor in return. :)

And now: I owe you all an update, so you'll have to excuse me while I get on with it. :)

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

10 Jikook Fanfictions Part 1

I said I'd make a list before the end of the year and I kept my promise. Now, it's difficult to choose, especially when I have more than 300 bookmarks and unfortunately I also started doing that some year and a half ago. Safe to say, there's probably plenty of good fics I read that are now lost. Anyway, enough with the boring chit chat, here's 10 random jikook fics in no particular order and most likely, several other parts will follow, probably next year 😉

1. Dead in the Water

It's been a couple of years since I read this and honestly, I barely remember much, but what I do know it's that it had an impact on me. Usually fics that have death as a central theme end up resonating with me, but perhaps it's because I've always been attracted to more darker fiction. This one is gritty and there's a lot of pain and I must have cried a lot (those tend to stick in my head)

2. we're holding hands beneath the silver screen

I think this story is taking place in the 90s (you'll see that a lot of the fics I recommend are taking place in the past). I think I ended up reading everything ChimneyCricket wrote, but this one remained a favorite. Coming of age during a summer in Jeju in the 90s. Apart from the theme, it's the writing that made me stick with it.

I'm not the biggest fan of young adult stories. Or better yet, it's not something that I'd go to as a preference. When I do, it's more of an indulgence and thankfully, I found some writers (like this one) who can do a really good job with the genre.

3. Stockwell

Another writer that I've become a big fan of after reading one fic of theirs. And I think it might have been Stockwell that did it for me. I like that it's fanfiction with adult themes for an adult audience. And I also resonate with a lot of the cultural references and themes. I will also admit that this fic leaning into the enemies to lovers trope was a selling point because I'm a sucker for it. I can't help myself.

4. Burn for You

This is a complete self indulgence for me and I embrace it. Just like watching Bridgerton is a guilty pleasure for which I don't actually feel guilty (and the inspo for this fic). This story has everything and I must say the combination of lust, fear of revealing feelings, rumors, proper behavior and hidden romance is a lethal combination!

5. Light of a century

I might have recommended this story before, but it being inspired by Up on Poppy Hill is not just due to the plot, but the writing is able to evoke that studio Ghibli mood. This fic is to be read on a hot weekend afternoon.

6. Map of the Soul

This might be one of the most complex fanfictions I read due to the amount of research needed, but also in the depiction of political contexts and identity politics. Most of all, I like it because as much as relationships are a vital part of the story, there is an entire world surrounding the main characters. Events and other people that have also room to develop and not just remain props that advance the story.

7. Proceed with Caution

I don't know what snatchim did with this fic, but it's the only one I ever reread multiple times and I'll probably do it again in the future. I don't even reread books from my library, let alone fanfics. But Proceed with Caution did it for me. Perhaps it's because of the process of Jungkook inevitably falling for Jimin and even though it's a bad thing considering the context, it's so good. Maybe it's the image of Jimin with a bellybutton ring or maybe because the picture of hot Californian days in the 70s is so vivid, it feels like a nostalgic Paul Thomas Anderson movie.

8. Dishwater World They Said Was Lemonade

The description does not do this story justice because it's so much more than that. It's a canon compliant thriller with really complicated and complex characters and once again, a story meant for adults who understand that it's fiction. Unfortunately, judging by the comment section, a lot of people cannot distinguish betweem real people and characters. For those of you who might be fans of Korean thrillers, this story might be the one for you. It's also one of my favorite jikook fics as well.

9. souvlaki

Need I say more, considering the description? This is a self indulgence as well, but of a different kind. If I happily read tropey fics, I also like the ones that can sound like a uni course. Set during the 1997 FMI crisis in SK, any reader will get familiar with a socioeconomic and political perspective of that time through the eyes of the main characters. If you're only looking for romance, this one is not for you.

10. you wouldn't remember

I think littleflumes might be currently my favorite writer of canon compliant jikook. I think the author really captured their dynamic in its essence and the room left for fiction perfectly fills in the holes left in the last 2 years and up until the present. But what did it for me, not only with this story, but the others in the series as well, is that it's concentrated almost entirely on the two main characters, almost living in a bubble of their own in which their relationship can be explored.

[mysinsforventi]

How much can you handle, wife of the anemo archon?~

(Please don't repost, use, take my fanfic or my edited picture anywhere!! )

~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~

Venti x f. reader

dom! Venti x sub! f. reader

(reader isn't traveller!! )

+18   (minors DNI!!)

Warnings: 

smut, this is pure PORN/FILTH, cursing, shapeshifting, sizekink, public sex, shower sex, object fucking? (showerhead), creampie, soft breeding kink?, overstimulation, anal sex, double penetration, multiple orgasm, squirting, fingering, oral female, handjob, hickeys, vision abuse, god-complex, power abuse, stomatch bugle, nipple play,spanking, riding, full nelson, dirty talk, enganged, possesive venti, crying reader (from pleasure), dom! venti, (let me know if I forgot something!~ )

About:

After just geting freshly engaged with your boyfriend venti, you asked him to finally not hold back anymore. Knowing him he always told you how dangerous the love of an archon could be! Yet you wanted to see and know all of him! Will venti give in? Will you be able to handle it? Will you still love him afterwards? What could he be hiding from you?

~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~

(I don't know what this is! I got very carried away! I'll go to hell for this!!  

Well.. please enjoy~ )

~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~

"I'll be by your side now and forever and ever~", venti said while kissing you. The kiss had so much love and meaning to it. Your heart was beating so fast, so many emotions you were feeling while the only thought in you mind was, 'VENTI'. The name of the of the one you loved. The one who just asked you to marry him. Still in soft shock but so incredible happy you felt your eyes tear up a bit.

Venti pulled away and looked at you, a gently smile covering his lips. Caressing your cheek, gently brushing your tears away with his thumb. Looking into his eyes you could tell that he felt the same. Was that what soulmates were? Feeling the same way, thinking quiet a like, sharing many things with each other? If that was the case you would be happy to have venti as your soulmate. But now he would be even more than that.. your husband. Your future husband. That sounded very lovely to say.

"Venven, can I try calling you something else? I'm curious how it will sound?", you ask without a second though, a soft blush forming on your cheeks. Venti's eyes widened a bit at the request but brushes with his hand through your hair, "Everything you call me, will just make me fall for you even more my lovely windblume. So go ahead, try it~", he said with a smile on his face. Now a bit curious himself venti bit his lip. Hopefully it wasn't his real name. Not that he didn't like it but.. it always was so hard to hold himself back when you did. And right now the place you were in wasn't very good to lose control. The bard's self control was usually pretty strong but since days, no weeks, no actually since a month or was it even before?? Well it doesn't matter since when but his selfcontrol was on edge since the thought of making you completly his, for all of time crossed his mind. So now that you were finally his there was only one thing to do.. But not now! Now isn't the time! That was what venti tried to tell himself.

"Are you listening my husband??", you asked confused, waving your hand infront of the bard's face. Was it to forward? Maybe it was to soon to call him that. Oh boy.. Now venti didn't respond for minutes.

"Y-Yes!! Wait.. What did you just call me??", venti asked with a stutter in his voice. "Husband?", you said, looking away, now embarrassed by yourself. Was that to childish??

But before you could give it anymore thought you felt two arms hugging you, cuddling you close to his chest. Slowly realising what just happened you placed both your hands on his back, gently caressing over it. "Ven-", but before you could say anything the god started talking, "I'm sorry windblume.. My heart was just about to burst. I feel so full. Full of your love. So don't say it again. Please? It's to dangerous.. I might lose control~", venti whispered the end next to your ear. A quiet gasp left your lips at his words. Curious what his expression was you wanted to lean back to look at him but his arms held you close to his chest, not leting you move.

"Dont!.. Don't look at me right now.. You might not realise it, but you're in a dangerous situation right now! I don't want to rush things between us. So please..", the god said with a serious voice. What a rare sight..

But what the god didn't know was that his beloved soon-to-be-wife wanted exactly that! You wanted to see all of him. You were long time curious about his sides he had yet to show. Always warning you about it made it only the more tempting for you. Soo maybe you should just not listen to him? Just this once? But first you would try talking to him about it~

"Venti.. you said earlier that we would be forever together right? So I want to see all of you. I want to know everything about you! I'm ready! I'll love you no matter what you will show me! As I accepted your proprosal I was clear in mind and I fully thought this situation through. So please will you trust me?", you asked him while your hands caressed over his back gently. Of course if he said no you would still accept his opinion and quietly wait for him until he was ready. After all you loved him with all your heart, soul and body.

Uff, you should have seen his expression. Mouth agape, a blush covering his whole face, eyes widened. This was such an adorable sight for the usual so cheerfull, teasing bard. After a while venti calmed himself down and softly leaned away, his hands caressing down to your hands, just to hold them in his. Intertwining your fingers with his. Looking at you, with a rater serious but flushed face, "I understand your desire windblume. And I'm very happy you feel that way. But.. I don't want to push you away.. What if it's to much for you?", a sigh left venti's lips.

Without thinking you leaned in and kissed him on the lips. Holding his hands to your chest. Kissing him deeply, with so much love you could put into it. After a while you leaned back, panting slightly, "Nothing you say or you do could be 'to much' for me. With each passing day, passing moment I want more of you. I love every part of you. No matter what it is I will accept it and love you with everything I can offer. There is nothing you can do to push me away because I love you way to much to ever back out. I can't live without you by my side venven! Please.. trust me? Please believe in me? I can handle whatever you will show me, my husband!", you responded with a gently whisper against his lips. Hoping he would get the message.

As you looked into venti's eyes you could see a sudden change in them. Did they get darker? No.. now they were glowing?? The same happened to the tips of his hair. A chuckle left the bard, a type of chuckle you didn't know could come from him.

"Oh windblume~ You don't know what you do to me... I hope you know what you just requested from me. Don't complain later okay? I tried to warn you~ But of course my dearest warrior wouldn't be afraid of such a minor thing. If you just knew love...", venti smirked at you, another deeper chuckle leaving his throat.

"But let's not forget where we are. This is a public location. Anyone could just walk by. Not that I would mind~ With you I would do it everywhere~", he looked away, smirking, "since it's your first time seeing me like this I rather would prefer it to be in private. So let's go to your teapot okay?", with that the god looked at you. You on the other hand were still trying to puzzle together what just happened. Where did this person come from and what happened to the sweet bard you knew?? Not that you were complaining, to be completly honest you might were enjoying this a bit to much. Gosh, venti was so hot like this!

"Y-Yes! We should go then!", you said, voice probably giving you away. Pulling out your teapot, just wanting to enter it you felt one arm under your knees. Turning around to ask what's going on but you were cut off. Venti picked you up in his arms, carring you bride-style. A smile appearing on his face, "I told you I'll be good to you. So let me make this day unforgattble for you okay? Let me spoil my soon-to-be-wife today?", he said while entering the teapot.

"Lucky we finally have a room together. Remember when we used to sleep in different rooms? Back then our realtionship was still so innocenct~", the god laughed at the idea while carring you inside the house. "And now it's not?? Besides this is 'our' teapot now, did you forget venven?", you giggled while holding on to him. Having to agree on the 'innocent' part tho. "Of course not?! Do I have to remind you how often we couldn't let our hands from each other mhh?", a sly smirk overcome venti's face as he let you down on the bed. Another giggle escaped you, "But all couples do that? So who is to say we aren't innocent anymore?", you looked up at him, raising one eyebrow. A laugh escaped venti's s body, sometimes you were just to adorable. Maybe the innocent part was you, just you. That he couldn't deny.

"Oh so let's say our realtionship is still "innocent"~ What about the time I fingered you in the library, the other time you seduced me as a maid, the second day in the hot spring as we were in inazuma and of course my favorite hehe.. the one time you were drunk and you told me aaaall about your naughty desires for me windblume~", he ended with a teasing smirk, starting to slowly undo his hat and cape.

A huge red blush covered your entire face, you bit your lips. Fuck! He was right.. this was cleary nowhere near innocent. But you couldn't say that out loud! The brat in you was acting up and you couldn't let him win! "That.. That was all just for starters! No one knows about this! So everyone still thinks we are innocent right??", you smiled with a concerned look in your eyes.

"Come one now! Stop lying to yourself windblume~  Even dvalien complained about how I always smell like you, kaeya knew what he was doing giving me that maid-dress, babara commented on the huge amount of hickeys you left on me on that one day and I'm pretty sure lisa knows about me fingering and making out with you in the libary...but ehh yeah maybe that is still to innocent love~", a chuckle left the bard. Droping down his cape, taking of his shoes before sitting down on the bed next to you.

You also started to take off your shows, slowly taking of your clothes. Just staying in top and your shorts. "LISA WHAT NOW?? How did she find out?? Oh god..", you gasped, hitting your hand against your forhead. This couldn't be.. well.. guess you really had to say goodbye to your last piece of innocence. "Oh and I forgot.. dilluc knows about that one time I fucked you in the tavern on your birthday hehe..", venti looked away, closing his eyes as he was waiting for something.

"WHAT??", you yelled, almost jumping up from the bed, "How?? We were so quiet right?? ", you asked shocked. "Yes, right??!! Ugh.. xiao told him! Remember he walked in on us in the tavern?? Soo dilluc scolded me for dragging you into my 'crimanal-record', he likes to call it that", a growl left venti as he pouted. You just nodded and left your head hanging, "ohh.. soo xiao knows about us too.."

"Yes.. But didn't that heizou-guy ask you for a threesome?? So he knows too hehe~", venti laughed, shaking his head. You looked at venven and nodded, "You're right.. oh god how embarrassing...", you sighed and hit your hand against your forhead again.

All of sudden the god grabbed both of your hands and pinned you to the bed, leaning over you. Whispering between you, as it was a secret no one should know, "See windblume~ We aren't innocenct.. and our realtionship isn't either~ We did so much together. So are you ready to take it one step further? Earlier you begged me to show you a new side of me. So I hope you'll like what you'll see~". There it was again, the glowing in his eyes, the glowing of the tips of his hair. Now even his archon-tattoo on his chest glowed through his shirt. You shallowed and nodded, "Yes I'm ready! I want this! I want all of you~", you whispered back, smiling softly at him.

"Open my braids for me windblume? Will you?", it didn't sound like a question, more so like an order. The bard let your hands free, looking into your eyes. Quickly following his command your helped him undo his braids. Brushing your hands through his now open hair. Not shortly after venti pinned your hands back to the bed. "Now get ready. I wasn't planing on using this card tonight but you begged for it~", he said as he closed his eyes. A huge glow formed over you and all of sudden venti's hair got longer, his form got taller, his chest formed some muscles, he just seemed older? More mature? Of course venti was both of them already. But his form wasn't. And he looked stunning. Like a fairy! A beautiful fairy! Did he just shape-shift for you?? Uff.. lord have mercy.. how were you to survive he could pull such tricks??

After a few minutes venti opened his eyes again, looking down at you with a lustful stare, yet he put on the sweetest smile, "Do you like what you see my wife?~, he asked. You couldn't even bring yourself to answer, to stunned to speak by his new appearance. Even his voice sounded more mature, it did all kind of things to you. Slowly but surley you felt the wetness between your thighs.

"You look so beautiful venven! I just love you more! But how?", you smiled up at him, blush forming on your cheeks. A laugh left the bard, "God's have many abilities, this is just one of the trivial ones. Usually I prefer not to change my appearance! But for you, to suprise you and please you I did it~", venti said while leaning closer, next to your ear, "This is an older form of my appearance, I usually have. Many things have changed. And I don't mean JUST the visible things~ ehe~", another chuckle left the god over you. Chills were running all over your body by the way he whispered these words. Now curious you looked down to his boxers. And a gasp left you. He was right, the bugle looked way bigger than it had ever before.

"See windblume? That's what I meant~ You're so smart. It will fill you up so good~", venti licked over your ear, kissing down to your neck. Leaving some hickeys while gently fondling your breats through your shirt. One finger caressing around your nipples. You couldn't help but moan, pressing your legs together. Nipples hard through your shirt, rubbing against it made you squirm around a lot. But how could you help it? It felt so good!

After a while the bard pulled away from your neck, proud of his masterwork. Whole neck covered by his marks. After all you were his wife now, he was allowed to do that!

"Can I?~", venti asked while softly pulling on your shirt. Waiting for your consent first. You nodded and giggled, "Of course! You don't have to ask venven, I already asked you for it, didn't I?~", a look full of love shined in your eyes, reflecting back in his, to yours again. Venti leaned down to kiss you gently, "I know.. it's just I need to you to confirm it one more time!~".

Taking your shirt of, bra following, throwing it somewhere in the room. Shortly after venti's mouth was already around your nipple, kneading and massaging your breasts with his hands. You threw your head back in the pillow, letting out a moan. Your nipples were always to sensetive. "Archons, I love sucking on them! This is truly my favorite past-time! I could do this forever!", the god sighed in between your tits, looking up at you. His now long hair falling over his broad, strong looking shoulders. With time your panties started to feel uncomfortable, it felt so stick, you swore your juices would start running down your thighs soon...

Luckily your husband knows you well enough. Starting to take off your shorts and panties. Letting up from your nipple, switching to the other and continueing to suck. His other hand gently caressed over your thighs, then in between, up and down.

A whine left your lips, slowly becoming inpatiened, wanting to feel it where you needed it the most. Spreading your legs wide, you felt venti's hand sliding over the slit of your cunt. A moan left him as he felt how ready you were for him. Leaning away once again from your already red nipples, he smirked at you, "You're dripping for me windblume! Do you want my fingers or my tongue first? Tell me~", the god spoke while slowly kissing down, over your stomatch. Geting shy you looked away, pouting,

"Your tongue please? Eat me out venti!", you stated. Looking back at him you got confused. Why was he licking his fingers? The view tho.. It just turned you on more. "To bad that you only get my fingers for now~", the bard smirked, pushing one finger in. Just about to answer you opened your mouth, chocking and closing it again at the sudden feeling of him inside you. This brat...

"Woah.. you're so wet that I just slipped in and i'm really deep already!~ You surely can handle another of my fingers right?~", venti said, still smirking at you. Right after he pushed in another finger. A loud moan left your lips, your legs shaking. Fuck! How is he this deep inside you already? Usually it takes a while- His finger are longer!! Right! You just realised how his form-changing affected his whole body. Oh boy... his cock is about to destroy you.. not that it already did but now?!

All of sudden venti's fingers started moving, in and out. Going faster. "Do you fell this windblume? I'm right at your g-spot! I wonder how fast I can make you cum in this form~", venti whispered licking over your clit, once, twice and another time. Your head was spinning. Damn! This felt soo good you might become dumb just from this. Moaning, squiriming under him while panting his name you came quickly. That was a new record for sure. Leaning back against the pillow you tried to calm down. Yet the god had another idea, sucking on your clit while pulling on your nipples with both of his hands you arched your back from the bed and came again with a scream from your lips.

"Oh windblume~ You really seemed to like this~", venti said with a softer voice, leaning down to kiss you deeply. Not knowing what just happened you kissed back, panting in the kiss. "I didn't believe I ever could make you squirt for me! You always suprise me windblume, ehe~", the god chuckled, kissing you again, "My whole face got wet~", he still chuckled.

Embarrassed you hid your face in your hands. Oh god.. what a mess you must have made! But before you could say anything you felt how venti turned you around, on your stomatch. Gently kneading your ass between his hands, spreading your legs a bit.

"Now I will do what my wife asked from me earlier~", the bard said before leaning in, taking a lick through your still sensetive pussy. Starting to eat you out like you wished before. His tongue felt longer too. Just having it play with your clit made you want to cum. With one thrust venti pushed his tongue into your hole. You moaned, bit your lip. Once again venti moved,

IN

OUT

IN

OUT

FASTER

DEEPER

Tongue flicking against that one spot. Not even seconds later you came again. Moaning his name loudly. Falling back into the pillow, head resting on top of your arms. Venti pulled his tongue out, layed next to you, letting you rest a bit. "You taste amazing as always~ Tell me once you're ready for the next stage! But I warn you.. once we start I might lose control! I won't be gentle anymore! So if you want to back out.. please tell me now!", your husband said with a rather serious face, looking at you, licking his lips clean.

Shaking your head you turned around, sitting up on your knees. Softly kissing him while whispering, "I want this venti! I love you! You don't have to be always gentle with me. I'm not out of glass, I won't break that easy! So don't worry okay? Don't hold back!", you smiled, kissing him deeply again. The god kissed back. Taking off his boxers, making his dick slap up against his stomatch. As you leaned away you looked down and your mouth widened, so did your eyes. How is he THAT huge?? Like.. that was the double size off his normal length! Fuck! How will this fit??

One hand grabbed your wrists, the other turned you around, pushed you down into the matress on all fours. Giving your ass a good spank, "Now it's to late to back out windblume! So take it! Take all of me!", venti growled into your ear. No this wasn't venti! This was barbatos! His cock slowly pressing against your pussy. Grinding it against your clit, up and down. Enjoying how wet and sensetive he got you. His hands both on your ass while pushing the tip of his long cock inside you. A suprised gasp left you, spreading your legs wider. You felt to full, the stretch burnt a bit. Yet you only could think on how amazing it must feel to have him all inside. Venti inched himself slowly into you. Your legs were shaking, you believed you would collapse every second. It felt just so good!

"Halfway in already love~ Just a bit more! You're doing so great windblume~", venti praised you while kissing your back. Leaving another wave of hickeys. A few inches were still standing out and yet your head was spinning, "s-so full venti..", you moaned. The slightest move of any of you and you could cum again. "I- I know... j-just a few inches more o-okay?", venti whispered in your ear, trying to be patiened, to keep his selfcontrol. But with your whining and your tight hole squishing him this wasn't easy at all. Turning your head around to look at him your breats bounced and that made him snap. Fuck it! He thought.

With one hard thrust he was completly inside you. Your ass hitting the skin of his stomatch. "Ohhh~ Fuck!", the god cursed, slowly grinding into you. Just enjoying the feeling of your tightness. Another scream escaped you, feeling like you could break in half any moment. He was so deep. His cock was making you so full. You felt him in your stomatch. And it felt amazing! The grinding was to much, your mouth hanging open, silent moans escaping you. Your sweetspot was right there. Right where his cock was grinding into.

"Y-You feel so good windblume! I never was this deep inside you before. Now I can make all of you mine! Every part of you! I will fuck you now okay? I-I can't hold back-", venti growled, trying to think of the words he wanted to say. A nod from you, a moan and the god was gone. Holding on to your ass he started to thrust inside you, pace fast and hard from the beginning. Staying true to his word. It was rough and hard. Moaning, screaming, clinging onto the sheets, you couldn't do anything else. The only thing that came to your mind was, venti and his cock. All you could feel was pleasure. Balls hitting your still sensetive clit, hands grabing your ass, hard thrusts against your g-spot.

The feeling of barbatos thumb pressing against your other hole made you come back from your thoughts. What was he doing now? Before you could ask his thumb slipped gently inside your ass. Pushing it in and out, circeling his thumb around. At the beginning it felt weird, but instead of complains, moans left your lips. It was to much,"I-I'm going to cuuum v-venven", you moaned in between the loud slaps of his hips hitting your ass. Removing his thumb from your ass while leaning back a bit.

With one swift move barbatos had his hand under your stomatch, pulling you up against him. Your back meeting his chest. Slowing down his pace a bit he answered in a deep, comanding voice, "Then cum for me windblume! Cum all over my cock!". A hand moved down to your clit. Rubbing it, "Think you can squirt again for me?~", a chuckle left the god. Picking up his pace again. Hammering into you. The other hand pressed against your stomatch. Venti bit his lip as he felt himself moving inside you. That was hot. Yet he still desired for more.

"Hold on windblume, I want to test something!", venti said. Stopping his movements completly. Making you whine loudly. A glow appeared. You felt venti's cock geting smaller, his chest becoming softer. Did he return to normal? Why now? You pouted since you were about to cum. This changed as venti started to thrust into you again. Closing your eyes trying once again to focus on your orgasm. Geting close. So close. Until the god stopped again. Another glow appeared behind you.

"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO D-", you turned around, snapping at him before geting cut of by your own scream. His huge length was back. You came so hard that you collapsed forward into venti's arms. Legs shaking, hole clenching. "I knew it, my size difference turns you on doesn't it? Maybe I should use all my sizes next time mhh?~", venti teased, gently laying you back down onto the bed. Resting on your stomatch. While gently thrusting into you, beeing almost there himself. "Are you okay? You came pretty hard? I'm cumming too~", a moan escaped venti. Grabbing your shoulders while pounding into you. Throwing his head back, moaning your name. His cheeks red. A second later you felt his white cum pumping into you. It was a lot. The bard collapsed onto you and kissed your back.

"Soo? How was it? You clearly enjoyed yourself haven't you?~" back was the teasing, usually silly bard. You tried to catch your breath, feeling even more full than before, "I-I loved it venven! We should d-do it again.. soon~", you giggeled with your voice sounding weak.

"Everything for my wife~", venti answered, pulling out of you. His seed sickering out of your hole, over your thighs onto the sheets. Without realsing it venti got this feeling. A feeling to stuff you up again. Not wanting to let his seed leave you. A growl left him before thrusting into you again. Pushing himself all the way back into you. Moaning loudly while pushing you down into the matress. "Aww thank y- AHHH!", you smiled but that was quickly replaced with a choke, shocked face. "V-Venti?", you asked, voice muffled during his push of your head into the matress.

"I-I'm s-sorry.. it's just.. I-I can't control myself anymore! Please let me use you windblume?", he tried to be gently but his voices sounded deep. His eyes, his hair, his tattoos glowed. You nodded, pussy clenching at his words.

A swosh was heard as venti pulled you up onto all fours. From the shadow on your bed you saw wings. Fuck that looked hot! Him fucking you from behind with his wings out. A hard, deep thrust inside of you made you throw your head back. "Tell me!.. Say which cock size of mine you like more?!", a question from your husband. No an order. This sounded like an order. Regardless you were to busy moaning, and trying to think of the right words to say. Forming word, yet alone trying to think of the letters wasn't easy.

Another hard, deep thrust. "Mhh? Won't you answer? Do I have to do everything myself?!", venti sighed with a annoyed voice.

All of sudden you felt a lot less full. Did he change form again? A slap to your ass as the thrust became faster. Another slap as venti pushed your head into matress, pillow to far away from all the movements. "Do you like this size more??", venti asked between hammering into you. Enjoying to hear you short breath, your loud high voice, the wet sounds of your pussy. Your brain wasn't working anymore, "I-I", you tried but ended up whining.

Barbatos pulled you up against his chest once again, kneading your breats. You almost bit your tongue as the cock inside you got bigger again. Walls clenching, making it so tight for him. "Or.. do you like this size more?!", barbatos asked, not changing his pace at all. Waiting for your answer. An answer he wouldn't get because you were to far gone already. Mind in the clouds. Brain fucked out. No one home anymore.

"I asked, DO YOU LIKE IT??", the god asked once again, thrusting with force further into you, staying still, just pulling your nipples. Twisting them softly. "YEEES!!! Y-Y- AHH I-", you screamed, tears forming in your eyes. Running down your cheeks, "love it!! Love you!!", you whined, bursting out more tears. Barbatos let out a chuckle and let go of your red nipples, continueing to thrust into you in a fast pace. Hugging you from behind, holding you close, "I love when you scream for me! Your screams make me so hard! My cock is throbbing so much love~", he whispered in your ear. If you could still think straight, you would probably blush so much.

You closed your eyes, just enjoyed the moment. Not expecting it, venti pulled your legs up, holding you in his arms, in a full-nelson position while continueing his fast pace. Hugging his wings around you both. "I'm gonna fill you up! I will pump my cum into you again!", the god groaned against your neck, while leaving kisses here and there. Your eyes rolled in the back of you head, as you came once again. Shaking, squirting all over his cock and the sheeds.

"Wow~ Do I really make you feel this good huh? How cute~", barbatos chuckled. Shortly after he thrustes a few more times and the last one was very deep. Letting out a groan, his seed filling you up once again.

Gently placing you back down on the bed venti kissed you, caressing through your hair. Weakly you kissed back, leaning against his chest. "Are you okay windblume? Let's rest okay?", venti asked, gently laying down with you on the bed. Caressing over your cheek. You smiled and kissed his chest softly, "I'm fine! Just need to catch my breath a bit venven~", you giggeled at his worried face. Lucky your stamina was quiet special. A normal human would probably struggle a lot here.

"Are you sure? We can stop if would like?", your husband asked, looking at you. "Stop? Now? When you still hard?", you giggled, grabbing his cock into your hand and jerking him a bit. A cute whine left venti's lips, "D-Don't worry about that windblume. Let us clean you up first okay?", he said, yet not pushing your hand away.

Your hand felt so good. Venti couldn't get enough of it. Your mouth would feel even better. There were so many things he still wanted to do to you, things he wanted to ask you, things he wanted to try with you. Sometimes he got embarrassed, thinking what a pervert he must be. But it was you.. venti couldn't help himself.

Still moving your hand, geting a bit faster with it you smirked at him. Starting to play  with just the tip you giggeld as he thrusted his hips upwards, in your hand. "S-stop laughing it's not funny!", the bard pouted. Clearly enjoying this. "You're soo adorable venven~", you giggled, kissing his neck while moving your hand faster over the tip. Leaving hickeys like he did to you earlier.

"I want too take you again..", venti whispered, looking away, blush forming on his cheeks.

"Yeah? How do you want me barbatos?", you smirked. Venti snapped his head to you. You did not just! How dare you? You brat! Venti's eyes changed. His whole aura switched. There it is.. What you wanted to see. The side to barbatos that you hadn't met yet. This intimidating side. A dangerous side for sure. "Would you repeat that for me my favorite mortal?", barbatos asked, taking your hand off his cock. You gulped, that really was a intimidating side. The words he spoke alone had so much power to it. The pressure of his eyes on you was almost scary. Yet you leaned forward gently kiss him, "I asked, how do you want to take me lord barbatos?~", you looked him into his eyes, glowing with devinity.

A groan was the only thing heard. "Sit on my lap with your back towards me!", he ordered, pulling you on his lap. Sitting against the headboard of the bed, he let you get into position. "Go ahead! Sit down for your lord!", barbatos said, pointing towards his lap. A blush covered your face as you realised what he meant. Still you carefully sat down, pushing his cock back into your cunt. This angle was almost worse than the nelson one. It all felt tingly and sensetive inside. "Good job! You're taking your lord so well! Now I'll start moving, try not to lose balance or I've to punish you mortal!", the god groaned why already grinding upwards.

It went really well. Keeping your balance wasn't very hard. And now you once again, not knowing for how many times, you were about to come again. That was until barbatos decided to use a little trick of his. Caressing with his hand over your lower stomatch, right where the tip of his cock met your cervix. The anemo symbol appeared on your skin and suddenly you let out a scream, pressing your thighs together, holding on to venti's knees. "W-What is-", you wanted to ask but got cut off during his hand sliding across your nipples. Feeling the same thing you almost collapsed on the matress. Almost losing your balance. It was weird. It felt ticklish, yet like air hitting your sensetive parts over and over again. The pressure was to much! Did he use his powers?

"I gave you a little gift! My favorite mortal deserves just the best after all. My anemo energy is flowing through your body now! It's also another way of marking you as mine~", barbatos smirked, thrusting fast in you. One thrust was so hard that you fell forward, lucky venti's arms catched you. "Ahh... and I was just praising you! Well, that calls for a punishment right?~", this teasing tone of his. You didn't like it. "What are you up to?", you asked, wanting to look at him. Yet his hand grabbed your chin to hold you still, "Look forward!". And so you did like barbatos told you.

A swosh was heard and all off sudden you felt cold, air was hitting your nipples. Infront of you, you saw entire mondstadt at night. Under you, the ground which lead to kathedral of mondstadt.

"How?? Why??", you paniced, face red as it could be. Venti didn't stop at all, kneeling behind you, thrusting his huge cock into you. Amemo energy still flowing in you. "Why? As a punishment of course. Show how sorry you are to the entire mondstadt for disobeying their archon! Go on, moan my name!", barbatos grinned, holding you close while grinding deeply into your walls. About to cum you just looked down at the city and moaned loud, "b-barbatos i'm sorry!!!", with that you came again. Closing your eyes, enjoying the moment you didn't realised venti turning back to his normal form, cumming too. Hugging you close, pressing your breasts together while pushing everything inside your cunt till the last drop.

Opening your eyes again, panting, you saw venti laying close to you, laying in bed, blanket placed over you. "I love you so much windblume! You're truly amazing. Thank you for accepting this side of me!", venti said with a smile on his face, leaning in to kiss you. You smiled, kissed back and whispered, "I love you to venven! All of you! Let's do this again sometime okay?~", you cuddled close to venti. With that you fell asleep. Soon after venti followed you to the land of dreams.

~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~

Bonus:

As venti woke up you were no where to be seen. A yawn left the bard, looking towards the clock. It's still early in the morning, where did you go? Geting out of bed to search for you, just to drag you back to bed to cuddle. It was way to early for him to be up. Seeing light in the bathroom, he walked in, eyes slowly widened as he heard the shower.

Seeing you humming under the shower. Lost in melody. Wasn't that a melody he recently played?  Well but that wasn't the most important thing right now.He could fell his cock geting hard once again. Oh archons, couldn't you just lock the bathroom probably? You didn't even know what you did to him. The way your ass looked so fuckable under the water. He couldn't resist. His tattoos started to glow. With a small smirk he switched his form again, knowing you liked it very much last night. Quietly walking up to you from behind.

Weird. You were cleaning yourself, feeling quiet dirty from all the sweat. Humming a melody of a song that venti had played lately. And suddenly the anemo-mark on your lower stomatch, right above your cunt started to glow. What was that? Did venti gave it to you last night? To be honest, you were so fucked out, that you barely remember anything! You did remember that he switched his form for you, that he showed you a side from him no one ever saw! Which made you so happy. And that it all felt fucking amazing!

A scream left your body and you dropped the showerhead as you felt something tickling inside your body. In your cunt and on your breats. What?? It feels so good.. Next thing you felt was a chest pressing into yours, "Already screaming for me? I'm not even inside you yet~", venti chuckled caressing over your back, hugging you from behind. Another moan left you, legs shaking, leaning against the wall infront of you.

"V-venti.. i-it ahh- what are y-you doi- ahh!!", trying to speak while clinging towards the wall from pleasure didn't work so well.

"Mhh? Me? Weren't you the one seducing me? Leaving the door unlocked, even open, pressing your ass towards me as soon as your felt my presence?~", venti said, giving a spank to your ass while softly kneading it. You yelped, while another moan left you. True! Actually you were hoping for him to come in. But you never expected it to actually happen.

"So you will deal with the consequences! Bend over!", the god ordered while helping to get in position.

ONE FINGER IN

OUT

IN

AND OUT

ANOTHER FINGER IN

OUT

IN

OUT

FASTER

He pushed them into your ass. Stretching you open. Speading up the pace after a while. Enjoying the moans and whines you let out. They even echoed here in the bathroom. How hot you sounded.

At the beginning in felt weird but after seconds it felt soo good. You couldn't help but to push your hips back against his fingers. You wanted more, "v-venti please.. I want you..", you moaned looking back him. His eyes looked at you, and smirked, "You already have me! Say it! Tell me what you want from me?~", the god said. Such a tease! You pouted but gave in, "I want your cock in my ass! P-Please fill my ass up!!", you moaned and hid your face in your hands, leaning against the wall.

Venti removed his fingers and with one thrust he pushed his whole length into your ass. Moaning and pressing you further against the wall. Breats pressing on the cold wall. You almost slipped at the feeling. Yet it didn't hurt at all. The pleasure made your head spin. If venti hadn't such a strong grip on your legs you surely would've fallen over.

"Windblume... now you're completly mine! Everything, every part of you belongs to me~", venti whispered as he started to move inside you. Spreading your ass checks apart, enjoying the view. After a while his pace increased and the thrusts got harder. As your hard nippels moved against up and down with the thrusts against the cold wall you were gone. Drooling out of your mouth.

"You're so tight! I'm about to cum! Cum with me!!!", he groaned. Having an idea. This would make you cum on the spot! Ehe~ Venti grabbed the showerhead and placed in betweenn your thighs, right on your clit. A yelp came from you, pressing your thighs together. A chuckle escaped the bard as he pressed his two fingers into your cunt. Moving his fingers at the same time as his cock. "Look at you! And you still wanted to be innocent yesterday? My lovely windblume, you're such a naughty beeing! You gave all your innocence to me! Now cum!!", barbatos smirked, thrusting hard into you. Letting out a loud groan, cumming himself. Shooting his sees deep inside your ass.

Tears rolling down your face, eyes in the back of your head, babling some non understandble mess while your legs were shaking. You came. Squirted once again. Collapsing into the wall. Starting to whine because of the showerhead hitting your clit. Driving you into overstimulation. Venti removed his fingers just to look at your fucked out, broken face. A devilish smirk appeared on his lips. He didn't know what came over him but he pushed his finger back into your abused cunt. Moving at a quick pace, leting the shower head do it's work.

You shoke your head, trying to show venti you coudln't handle anymore but the only thing that came out were moans, whines, yelps. Nothing helpfull.

"My starlight.. you make me all hard again..", venti whispered while biting your ear gently. With that you came again. Shaking, screaming. But lord barbatos didn't seem to stop! Instead he started to move his cock again. Gently thrusting into your ass.

His eyes glowing,

"After all, you asked for this right? So now you gonna deal with it! You asked for lord barbatos to show you all of him! Now you gonna take all of me?~".

The sun was up, it was lively outside, yet the whole teapot just heard your screams and sinfull actions until the next moon shined.

~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~

(Thank you for reading this!! Hope you enjoyed!~ 💜 )

[lucabyte]

i am looking at nohats au 👀 please share more

So! NoHats! I'm going to grab you and use this to ramble. A Lot.

The NoHats AU is @samhainian's it's just that I'm the strange little freak who takes the words said unto me and executes on them. But I can still do a little explainer on what our overall thoughts and vibes are. (And, that we are in fact propping up a little box with some cheese under it here. 🪤 Please (PLEASE) feel free to pick up what we're putting down.)

We're far from the only ones exploring a "what if siffrin fucking died" AU, though the main difference with NoHats is the placement of the death in the timeline. Instead of being 'Mal Du Pays Wins' or 'Act 6 encounter goes horribly wrong', the death is… Just after the (literal) falling action.

(This placement is because Sam is a comic book fan who thus has become used to characters being ripped away at the cruelest times by shitty writers. THANK FUCKING GOD adrienne is not that and isat is delightful yippieee, but, back on topic.)

Giving the party the full understanding of What Happened that you get by putting the death after black hole siffrin, but before the A6 encounter leaves an interesting gap to be filled. See, making Siffrin's death very much not Loop's fault means that… this once again reads (when not read as simply a tragedy...) as the universe doing what it sees fit to fulfull Loop's wish… Thus making Siffrin's death Loop's fault again, but only in their eyes. And only in a way they could express if they were honest about who they were…

And this is where having had excuse to waffle about my general Postcanon Loop thoughts the other day comes in handy, because Sam and I have that as our canon-compliant reading to begin with, NoHats plays off of a lot of the same readings of Loop's character. Namely: Uh Oh Somebody's Lying By Fucking Omission Again. (BECAUSE TO BE FAIR THIS TIME… HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU HANDLE THAT?)

Now, neither Sam nor I are fanfic writers, so this has been a little bit trapped in our heads and DMs (and my unfinished art but,)

But our thoughts on how NoHats like… Goes.

Siffrin's death is peaceful, but that does not mean the aftermath of it is. I can't imagine the party takes it well, especially after understanding the circumstances of the Loops. (And, of note, in A5 where nobody had the discussion on what to do with each other's bodies should something happen…) But I'd imagine it traumabonds them somewhat (understatement of the century) and now knowing how the rest of the party feels, they resolve to travel together for the forseeable future.

The party track down Loop to deliver the terrible news, since they were clearly Siffrin's friend too, and invite Loop along to travel at least long enough to (let them grieve) get the burial over with. Loop, here, can be helpful in knowing what Siffrin would've wanted where the party would be at a loss. Loop, I think, takes a bit of a lead on the funerary aspects of it all, because, um. (Performing rites on your own body, huh?)

Then, as things are after a death, life just… Kind of has to continue on as normal. The party travel, pick up Nille, and get to know Loop as this mysterious new person. Maybe in this situation they might stay in Bambouche for a while to give Bonnie more stability since. They are probably taking it the worst. It would've come out of absolutely nowhere for everyone in the party obviously but god, for a kid? For A Kid?

It should be stated NoHats is not intended to be grimdark, just y'know. An exploration of grief. This is also why it's got a bit of a lopsided focus on Bonnie vs the rest of the party because hhrrhghghhghghhhghhghhh <- incoherent

Now, a crossroads.

How does the party discover Loop to be Siffrin? How long does it take. How much have the party embraced them as part of the family (especially with something as intense to bond over as this)?

There's the Odile option. Have her put it together and have to bring it up somehow. This could also be done by Isabeau, perhaps. He's smart. (which. God. If anything's the real Isabeau Torment Nexus it's this)

Then there's the other option batted around by Sam and I. The: The Universe Dislikes Duplicates option.

The items in the house that fzzt away when inspected. The Universe doesn't like there to be two of something, at least not when they're acknowledged. But one of something is just fine…?

Which is to say. I'm not a personal proponent of 'Loop getting their body back'. EXCEPT …… except this one time.

There's only one Siffrin now, so they don't need to be obfuscated to exist.

Consider, if you will. Loop swallowing their guilt for long enough to be comfortable. Falling back into old habits. Without another Siffrin around to compete for the niche of, they actually begin to act like Siffrin again. Not intentionally, it's just… The party is as welcoming as they've always been. And the party swears they keep catching glimpses of a face under all the light.

Then, one day, while still not fully human again, the resemblence becomes undeniable. Loop having not even noticed until everyone looks at them like they've seen a ghost.

Has it been months? How long have they kept up this lie? Is it even a lie, to them? They're Loop. But they were, once, Siffrin.

Even after explaining it, does that make it better or worse?

Bonnie cuts through the betrayed, struck-nerve reactions with a sobering "I missed you."

… Anyway !

Yeah so that's the vibe for NoHats. As for LoopLoops? That's more nebulous. I think it can go anywhere really in the NoHats timeline. I err personally toward the "Loop continuously replays the last 10 minutes before Siffrin's death almost immediately after they find out and have to parkour their ass up the House in the most distressing situation possible to try and get them to hold on, just please hold on." (Remember! Siffrin can remember the contents of Loop's loop backs in the A6 fight!)

But there is the possibility that this happens months, or worse years down the road. One last Loop back. Throw it all away for the chance to just get that one thing you didn't know you even wanted but now know you NEED.

Misc:

Okay miscellaneous time.

This is where I admit that I have a bunch of unfinished NoHats art that I haven't gotten around to yet because I feel like a right tool being so obviously Loop-Centric with my fancontent (I AM . . I REALISE I AM NOT DOING MUCH TO BEAT THE ALLEGATIONS.) So like if people want to see that please say because euaghghghhfh <- the nervous.

this is like the most fucked up place to do isaloop fr. anyway.

one of Sam's mid-game observations that I'm just going to share for no particular reason is that Bonnie's hair shares a bunch of shapes with Siffrin's. The flick up at the top, the 3 pronged shape of the fringe… just something to think about.

Without 2 Siffrins around to compare each other to it'd likely be a lot harder to notice Loop's similarities. Doesn't mean that those similarities don't sting more in this context though.

If you do NoHats without LoopLoops. The concept of this all fading into memory years down the line while they just have slightly-glowy but otherwise regular Siffrin hanging out is fucked up to think about. Just like real grief. Augh

6. a peek into the original dms as a treat from us

[todorokis-girl]

A cozy afternoon for a busy hero - Hawks

@chantelleyy The fanfic you wanted, I hope it's a little sweet and comforting. You didn't really specify what you wanted, so I made it simple

masterlist

The city buzzed as the sun set, casting warm hues across the skyline. Y/n stood by the large window in her high-rise apartment, nestled in a quiet corner of the bustling metropolis. Her eyes traced the city lights flickering to life, and she couldn't help but smile as she thought of Keigo Takami, known to the world as Hawks. To her, he was just Keigo, the man who made her laugh and filled her days with unexpected joy.

The familiar rustle of feathers broke her reverie, and she turned just in time to see Keigo swoop in through the open balcony door, his wings folding neatly behind him. His amber eyes locked onto hers, a grin spreading across his face.

"Hey," he greeted, crossing the room with his usual confident strides. He pulled her into a warm embrace, and Y/n breathed in the comforting scent of him—a mix of his cologne and the crisp air.

"Hey, yourself," she replied, her voice muffled against his chest. Pulling back slightly, she looked up at him with a fond smile. "Rough day?"

Keigo sighed, his expression softening. "Yeah, but being here with you makes it all better."

They stood like that for a moment, wrapped in each other's arms, savoring the rare peace. Keigo gently brushed a strand of hair from Y/n's face, his touch a silent promise of love and reassurance.

"I'm starving," he declared suddenly, breaking the quiet. "How about we cook something together?"

Y/n's face lit up. "Sounds perfect. What do you have in mind?"

Keigo shrugged, a playful smirk on his face. "Whatever we can find in the kitchen. Let's get creative."

They moved to the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge and pantry. Y/n grabbed some vegetables while Keigo found pasta and a few other ingredients. They laughed and chatted as they cooked, Keigo occasionally stealing kisses and making funny faces to keep Y/n entertained.

"You're not helping," she giggled as he snuck a piece of carrot from the chopping board.

"I'm moral support," he retorted, eyes twinkling with mischief.

Once their impromptu meal was ready, they set the table and sat down to eat. The aroma of the homemade pasta filled the room, and they savored each bite, enjoying the simple pleasure of a meal shared together.

"This is really good," Keigo said between bites, looking genuinely impressed.

"Not bad for a couple of amateurs," Y/n replied with a grin. "Maybe we missed our calling as chefs."

Keigo chuckled. "Who knows? We might have a future in it."

After dinner, they cleaned up the kitchen together, their movements synchronized in the comfortable routine they had established. With the dishes done, they settled on the couch, a cozy blanket draped over their legs.

Keigo grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, flipping through channels until they found a movie they both liked. As the film played, Y/n snuggled closer to him, resting her head on his chest. He wrapped an arm around her, his fingers absentmindedly playing with her hair.

"I love these moments," Y/n whispered, her voice soft and content.

"Me too," Keigo replied, his voice equally gentle. "It's nice to just be together, without any of the craziness."

They watched the movie in comfortable silence, the warmth of their shared presence making the small apartment feel like the coziest place in the world. When the credits rolled, Keigo glanced down at Y/n, her eyes heavy with sleep.

"Ready for bed?" he asked softly.

She nodded, yawning. "Yeah, I am."

They got up and made their way to the bedroom. Y/n changed into her pajamas while Keigo quickly checked his phone for any urgent messages. Once they were both ready, they climbed into bed, the familiar comfort of the sheets and each other easing them into a state of relaxation.

Keigo pulled Y/n close, his wings draping over them like a protective canopy. "Goodnight, Y/n," he whispered, kissing her forehead.

"Goodnight, Keigo," she murmured back, her eyes already closing.

As they drifted off to sleep, the sounds of the city outside faded into the background, leaving only the steady rhythm of their breathing and the quiet assurance of their love. In the simplicity of their home, a feathered hero and his beloved found solace in each other's arms, their hearts forever entwined.

[libraryofneith]

Old Dog, New Tricks (Sandor Clegane x Female Reader)

Summary: After Sandor Clegane is rescued from the Stranger's door, he is forced to consider a future without violence, without abuse, and without servitude. Can he find a new purpose? Can he help more than he has harmed? And can he share a purpose with anyone else?

Fic Tags/Warnings: whole fic is 18+, minors DNI, cursing, violence and gore, eventual smut, some serious smutage, takes place season 6 onwards, canon divergence, last season what last season?, reader has a name, third person POV, grumpy x sunshine reader, sunshine character x sunshine protector, i am a sucker for the "grumpy old man who's mean to everyone except this one special person to whom he is unbelievable sweet" trope

Notes: this is not my first time writing game of thrones fanfic, nor my first time writing for this character, but it is my first time uploading for this character on tumblr. Those of you familiar with my work will know I've got another WIP and don't worry I've not forgotten it! I've already got 12 chapters for this so hopefully won't keep you waiting too long for updates. And won't keep you waiting too long for the smut which let's be real is why most of us are here, smut kicks in at chapter 11 and then we do not stop till dawn, I started this years ago, like pre pandemic years ago. Largely forgot about it until I discovered an old memory stick with a bunch of unfinished stories and now i'm back on my game of thrones bullsh!t. Might even re-upload an old AO3 fic of mine that I deleted years ago because I stopped liking it. Who knows? Anyways, that's enough rambling from me. On with the story, and as per, like and reblog to increase visibility and let me know if you want to be tagged when this story updates.

Fuck. Buggering fucking hell. Buggering shitting seven hells this hurts! I. Hurt. Everywhere. There’s something… something I need to think about. I said I’d watch over it… what is it? Eyes. I can see eyes. Someone’s here with me. Is it that big bitch? Bugger it all I can’t see properly! Who are you? What do you want? I can’t fight. I can’t fight. What the hell am I going to do? Bloody hell! What is it I’m forgetting? They. Whoever they are… they’re giving me something. A drink. Probably poisoned. Fuck I’m thirsty. But I can’t. They want to kill me. Shit I can feel it. I can’t fight them. Leave me alone! I don’t want your poisoned piss. Oh. It’s water. Fuck. Shit me. I feel like lead. I need to sleep. I can’t. They’ll run me through first chance they get. I’m drifting. I can’t stop. Maybe that water was poisoned after all. To hell with it. I’m ready. At least I’ll die in a bed. At least I think this is a bed. If only I could remember what I’m forgetting. Fuck.

---

I know. Eloquent right? Not to worry dearest reader, by the time you're done with this chapter I'll have the next one up which has more content.

[the-words-we-sung]

Thoughts and pictures - S3E4

I've never been that slow with a Young Royals rewatch >< It's hard for me to get through this season (especially now that I'm in the last 3 episodes...)

And here we go, starting directly with a very sad Simon 😞 Omar plays a crying Simon way too well, it breaks my heart every damn time...

I like hearing Wilhelm call Simon his boyfriend 🥰 Also is it me, or do we have a lot more close up shots in season 3? (No clue if that's what it's called, I mean shots that are very zoomed in on their faces like this one.)

Vincent drawing a dick on the ground, of course... And I don't get his explanation: "why even try if there's no reward for the effort?". It means if the school closes, they all won't graduate and have to do their grade all over again? Surely if they're taking tests and all, it counts for something? Why fail an important test and take the risk to fail your year? 🤔 (Not gonna lie, most of Vincent's reactions to what's happening to the school this season left me quite perplexed ^^') And if it's just the graduation ceremony that is cancelled, it still doesn't mean they're not graduating, does it? 🤔

But can you really Simon?

And Wilhelm repeating his mother's words "it's a privilege, not a punishment" breaks my heart >< (Also I'm gonna be a little shit about it but even the Royals have a choice in the end about accepting or not their role and job: after all, Wille is gonna renounce it in 2 episodes :p)

I do like what he said about the role of the royal family in Sweden! We have very little information on that in the show so I appreciate it here. And he looks so pretty in this light!

Wilhelm sounded so surprised that Farima said yes immediately when he told her they needed to help Simon. He was expecting to have to fight them on that.

Why did he have to delete his whole account? Why not just put it on private? (I know I've read in several fanfics the idea that searching and deleting through all the new people who followed him before going on private would be too much of a hassle but I feel like it's a stretch, and an acceptable price to pay to keep his account?)

Their conversation about Wilhelm's choice of foundation makes me so so sad! I had hoped that he would see Simon's point of view on how he can use his role as Crown Prince to try and make things better! I was actually pretty surprised that he was 100% not interested. It's a new facet of Wilhelm's personality that we hadn't really seen before I guess? And it feels like it creates a serious gap between them, it shows that they're not on the same page at all about a pretty serious subject (which is not good for the future of their relationship...)

This shot of these 3 made me laugh :p

This one hurts... Another crack in their relationship 😩 Simon is realizing how different they are. He knew they were but this season is showing us a side of Wilhelm that just seems incompatible with Simon :/ It's not just differences in tastes or personality, now it's differences in their core values also. And that is a huge problem.

So we learn that Simon mostly avoided Micke for Sara's sake. Or maybe he's exaggerating that fact because he's really angry at her.

The sit-in scene is very funny, they're all so dramatic, thinking they might starve to death xD I didn't think that August's eating disorder would be confirmed this way! Also I guess Vincent does have ADHD then? It was not just an excuse to get pills.

"Because we are different?" Yeah... that's what this episode is really about, how different you both are. Which wouldn't be an issue for me if it was less about such important matters :/ I wish we had seen them learn more from each other this season, instead of being in conflict to much.

I agree with Felice that it's getting out of hand! (I still enjoy the whole thing though 😁). I don't dislike Stella as much as a lot of people seem to, but I don't like her in this scene and how she talks to Felice!

Cutest scene of the episode.

I adore this scene. It makes me want to cry. I love them both and I'm so happy that they're slowly finding their way back to each other <3

"Erik was there." This sceeeeene!! Such a punch in the face, so fucking terrible >< (So well acted also!!)

Another trauma for my poor boy...

So lots of mixed feelings with this episode! I'm very frustrated with Wilhelm and his reactions, but I love the Sara arc. I really like the end of the episode, with some very good scenes. But now I really don't wanna go watch the next one ><

[writershapeholeonthedoor]

My favorite ships ranked!

There's a huge chance this list will change once every two days at the very least, but let's do it!

1. SUPERCORP

Literally my favorite ship ever. They're just perfect for each other in every possible way. Their love languages complement each other perfectly, they can rely on each other, and they work together like the best team in the world. Lena needs love and Kara knows how to offer it without asking for anything in exchange. She will take whatever Lena is willing to give her and be happy about it. But Kara still needs someone that will look at her and see who she really is, no judgment, and someone who she will be comfortable being herself - Kara Zor El - with.

Speaking of fanfic, I think it’s safe to say these fandom has some very talented authors who gave us very well written works. They can also work in every possible scenario, so that's a huge bonus.

Favorite scene: "Supergirl might have saved the city, but, Kara Danvers, you're my hero."

2. SHOOT

Shoot is THAT couple that should have ended up together, but didn’t. I don't hold a grudge on it, though, because Root's death made sense to the show's ongoing plot. I can't say they would be perfect like Supercorp because Shaw has some emotional problems and Root is just also in love with a artificial intelligence or whatever, but they would work. Shaw would try - for Root - and Root would love every part that Shaw allows her to see.

Favorite scene: "You can't live with me and I can't live without you."

3. WAYHAUGHT

Do I even have to say anything? Our most perfect CANON couple. They were perfect from start to finish. The way Nicole absolutely adored Waverly, almost like a worship even, but wasn’t afraid to stand tall on her ideas and opinions. The way Waverly acted like Nicole hung the moon and stars in the sky just for her, and how we know she would be able to do anything to keep Nicole happy. They're that couple that make everyone's teeth rotten with how sweet they are.

Favorite scene: "You guys make The Notebook look bleak."

4. CABENSON

One of my favorite gay ships, so it has a special place in my heart. In the early seasons, it's pretty clear, at least for me, that Alex and Olivia could have something going on. I believe they were both shoving it away because none of them was ready to get seriously involved with anyone and they knew that whatever they decided to have would be too special to be treated lightly. Unfortunately, time was cut short for them when Alex got pulled away for WitSec.

I do think they will forever be each other's "almost", or "what if", but they're long past that now. They changed too much and they did it separately. If they were together, they would have changed around each other and, possibly, be able to work those differences to stay together. But now I don't think they would be able to keep a relationship. It's a bit sad, but it's also a very good portrait of reality.

Favorite scene: "You like being back on court, don't you?"

5. BISHOVA

I'm new to this ship, but I already love it. They remind me a lot of Shoot, actually. We just know that Yelena needs to find someone who would love her with no restrictions and that she deserves to find love. And Kate needs someone able to ground her, but also someone who allows her to be as silly as she wants, someone that will always have her back, doesn't matter how insane her plans might be. They have chemistry too. Also, I can see them getting together with no drama at all, or maybe something they can easily solve, and then being together for the rest of their lives to the point that they can't even remember a time they didn’t know each other. We didn’t get to see them that much, sadly, but I keep my hopes up for more scenes of them in the future.

Favorite scene: "You have one fork?"

6. FLEURMIONE

Okay, two intelligent and beautiful women together? Sign me in! I've been in Harry Potter's fandom for many, many, years now and, after giving it too much thought, I can safely say that Fleur would be the perfect match for Hermione. She would challenge Hermione, they would have endless discussions about any and every subject, they would have enough books together to fill up a library, and they would make each other want to be better every day. I also see Fleur being a bit sarcastic and Hermione keeps rolling her eyes at her at least fifteen times a day.

Fleur is constantly curious about the muggle world, always eager to learn anything Hermione is willing to show her. She would have a great relationship with Hermione's parents, mostly because she thinks they're one of the most genius people on the planet because they know how to fix people's teeth. Meanwhile, Gabrielle would loooove to talk with Hermione, especially when they get together to embarrass Fleur.

Favorite scene: You know, the totally canon one when Fleur asked Hermione to the Yule Ball.

7. LOU MILLER X DEBBIE OCEAN

Heist wives? Yes, please.

We don't even need to pretend. These two were totally banging throughout the whole movie. The headcanon is that they used to date, then Debbie made some stupid decisions, met the wrong people, they broke up for a while and then Debbie got locked up. I believe Lou was so angry with her for both being stupid and for ruining what they had because she wanted to get more money than they actually needed, that she didn’t even visit Debbie in prison.

While there, Debbie had enough time to realize how much of an idiot she had been, so it's up to her to win Lou back. Meanwhile, Lou knows that she's screwed the second she sees Debbies smile again. She just can't help but orbit around her.

Also, they're the Moms, no doubt about that.

Favorite scene: "Baby, I don’t have a diamond yet."

8. DANSEN

The only reason they’re all the way down here is because I hate CW, but I actually love them more than half of my family. They’re married, they’re moms, they’re in love, they’re perfect. Someone as caring as Kelly needed someone to make her go crazy like Alex, while Alex deserved someone that would understand her no matter what. Honestly, I just love them.

Favorite scene: THE PROPOSAL

9. CAROLNAT

Is there any chance this could happen? No.

Do I still dream about it? Constantly.

It's just one of those couples where things would just work. My biggest headcanon for them is that they would be constantly laughing and having fun. Always joking and playing around with each other. Natasha would crave physical touch and Carol would be happy just to be around her at all. Carol would finally find a reason to stay on Earth without feeling guilty about it and Natasha would one thousand percent make a retirement party for her.

Also, they would protect each other so fiercely that no one would even dare to warm any of them.

Favorite scene: The one where Natasha ends up on top of Carol in the training room. Totally canon, trust me.

10. GLORBIA

Might sounds crazy, but hear me out.

Barbie is literally Gloria's dream Barbie, and Gloria is the reason Barbie is alive. Once Barbie becomes human, I can totally see Gloria falling for her without even noticing it, while Barbie takes a while to realize what are those things she's feeling. I do believe Sasha would have a strong part in bringing them together. She would be the one to explain to Barbie what a crush is and what being in love should feel like, and then she would have to give her mom a gentle push to acknowledge her own feelings.

After that, fluff all the way. Gloria would be the most patient person in the world while she sees Barbie navigating human life, just happy to have whatever Barbie is comfortable giving her. Meanwhile, Barbie keeps getting surprised by how strong her feelings can be every time she even looks at Gloria.

Favorite scene: Not a scene per se. Instead, I'm bringing that Tumblr post that says "Ken only has a great day when Barbie looks at him. Gloria always has a great day when she looks at Barbie."

Bonus

11. GAY BELLA

Quite literally, any lesbian ship from Twilight. My favorite one is Rosella, but Bella x Tanya is a close second. Bellice is also a very strong candidate, not to mention Bella x Kate. And, oh, did I hear someone say Bella x Irina or was it Bella x Leah? Honestly, just give me lesbian Bella and I will be happy.

12. ROJARIAS

One of the hottest couples that exist.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[asterdisaster06]

i love you ain't that the worst thing you've ever heard?

ghost x reader [exes], slight soap x reader [mostly platonic], platonic 141 x reader

Pt 1. Pt 2. 3.

summary > Soap interactions with you, bringing you food after you skip dinner in favor of taking a nap, Price wants to see you - see pt 1 for overall fic summary

word count > 1.6k

warnings > should be none

a/n > future chapters should be longer, this just felt like a nice cutoff and I'm just starting to get the hang of fanfic writing. gotta love our boy Soap though. it might be a while for the next chapter though since i'm working on other works too

ao3

“Goddamn, who let a little birdie in here?” He laughs. 

Soap. You had heard quite a bit about this particular Scotsman from your ex lover. You had an inkling that you two would’ve gotten along, even bringing it up to Simon once or twice about meeting him. He denied your request, sighing goodnaturedly about how you two apart are already the death of him - let alone together. You claimed that this was all the more reason to meet him, or at the very least, let him know of your existence. Simon had always paused around this point and you had never pushed it, and now you’re kind of glad. The last thing you needed was another person that was no longer a stranger around this base. You were supposed to be having a new start, and that would be very difficult if MacTavish knew of your existence beforehand.

However, you hadn’t expected to run into one of Simon’s teammates so soon into your arrival on base. The world seemed to have different plans though. 

“You wouldn’t happen to know how to get to my room?” You ask politely, pulling out your information to show him.

“Aye, I do happen to know the way, follow me, Lass.”

You were honestly counting on him not knowing, but you’re realizing now that he’s the kind of person that would figure it out whether he knew initially or not. It seems like you’re stuck in the company of this man and his mohawk for a little while longer. It’s not like you particularly disliked him, in fact it was quite the opposite. It’s just the memories of your past are being dredged up by him, and his association with Simon wasn’t helping.

“So, what’s up with the mask,” He asks, drawing out the ‘a’ in the last word, coming off as teasing you. 

You were attempting to come up with a half truth, because you truly hadn’t worn this mask minus on missions at your old base. It was simply this place that brought out that side of you. Or maybe it was a person rather than a place.

“I just find it comforting, y’know?” You decide on, finally. It wasn’t a lie, the mask truly did offer you comfort around here. It just probably isn’t for a reason that Soap would detect. 

“I think you’d get along well with one of my masked comrades, maybe bond about hiding identities or somethin’” Soap chuckles.

You offer a slight smile in return, the anxiety that had recently left coming back in full force. You knew exactly who he was talking about, and you vehemently disagreed with what Soap had to say. 

“You should join us for dinner after you get settled in, I could be your little tour guide,” Soap says, winking at you. 

“I’ll have to think about it, stranger,” You offer back, smiling.

“Oh yeah! The name’s Soap. Soap MacTavish,” He laughs. 

“You can call me Angel,” You say, blushing as you realize the implications.

He sends you a curious look with an eyebrow raise. “Oh? Let me at least take you out to dinner first, Bonnie.”

“Very funny, it’s my callsign. Like I assume yours is, unless your parents really hated you,” You joke, almost enjoying this banter with Soap. 

“Oi, we don’t judge around here,” He laughs, referring to your silly callsigns. 

“I suppose I’ll see you around, Soap?” You ask, ready to settle down in your own space. With your own silence to accompany you.

“Is that a yes to dinner?” He jokes, aware of the double meaning of his sentence.

“Oh knock it off, I’ll have to think about it,” You smile, wondering if this is how it could’ve been in another life. A life where you had actually gotten to meet Soap under different circumstances. You unlock your door, entering and turning back to see Soap still there. 

“Don’t think too hard! I wouldn’t want you to worry that pretty little head of yours too much, Bonnie,” He teases, already deciding on a nickname for you it seems.

“We hardly know each other, and you have no clue what I look like,” You laugh, pushing him out of your doorframe, amused at his antics nonetheless.

“Oh, I’m sure you look slightly better than a troll under the bridge at least,” He says with a toothy grin. “You’re not ugly, are you?” He asks ironically.

“Quite the opposite,” You offer up with a crooked smile. 

“That’s what I thought,” He says with a smile that rivals the Cheshire cat. “Now, would you do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner?”

“You’re a big boy, I’m sure you’ll be fine alone,” You say, tiredly. It’s not like you wanted to cut your friendly banter with Soap short. On the other hand, you didn’t exactly feel like socializing. Not after your tiring day already. 

“Alright, alright rookie. But I am bringing something around later to make sure you eat. If it wasn’t me it would be Price, so don’t think it’s any trouble,” He says, predicting your words before you could even voice them.

“Who are you calling a rookie, Sergeant?” You chirp out. 

“Are you not one? Price just mentioned that we would be getting someone new, or maybe I was zoning out when he mentioned your details. Actually no, I definitely was. I think I was throwing crumpled up paper at Gaz - you’ll meet him later,” Soap explains, smiling at the end.

Gaz. Kyle “Gaz” Garrick. Simon had spoken less of him specifically but whatever he did have to say, it was only full of praise. That or another story of his unfortunate luck lending him time hanging from a rope out of a helicopter. That story had always made you laugh. 

“I’m technically a Lieutenant,” You manage to say between laughter. 

“Jesus Christ, another one? I wouldn’t have coined you for one,” Soap exclaimed.

“And why’s that?” You ask, curious but already knowing the answer. People have always underestimated you based on looks and size. Starting from your first days at the academy to when you first got your callsign to even after you were nicknamed the ‘Angel of Death.’ Other soldiers had only reinforced Simon’s words that you weren’t worthy of your position, let alone the opportunity to even try. 

“Just the way our Lieutenant, or I guess I should start referring to him as ‘First Lieutenant’ now, responded to the details that I didn’t hear. He almost seemed to be. . . worried about having someone else to worry about. Looking at you now though, I can tell we’re going to have nothing to worry about,” He ends with a smile.

Huh, that was new. You didn’t expect that from Soap, but you suppose he’s just full of surprises. Fitting for the demolitionist that has a knack for gunpowder filled surprises. Nonetheless, you had luggage to unpack and sleep to catch up on. You eventually get Soap to leave you alone to your devices, putting on your playlist and unpacking about half of your shit before getting too tired to continue. Laying back on your freshly made bed, your eyes flutter closed and you fall into unconsciousness. 

A knock at your door wakes you and you shake off your sleepiness - rubbing your eyes and stretching as you do. The blurriness of both your vision and mind makes you almost forget where you are. Only for a second though. 

“Open up, Angel!” Soap yells through the door.

He really had no capabilities of being subtle, did he. You stumble a bit getting out of bed but find your footing and make your way to the wooden door, turning the knob and opening it. The brightness of the hallway makes you flinch slightly before your eyes adjust to the lighting. 

“What do you want?” You ask the man who’s simply standing and staring at you.

“You- you don’t have your mask on-” He stammers, seemingly caught between staring and shielding his face out of politeness. 

“I mean, I don’t sleep with it on, and you did kind of wake me up, MacTavish,” You sigh, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. 

“Oh right! Here’s your food,” Soap smiles sheepishly, taking the tupperware out from behind his back. It has a silly little doodle of himself in cartoon form saying “Food for Angel, No touchy” which you found amusing enough to smile at. 

“Thank you Soap, genuinely,” You offer up, taking his gift of food from his hands. 

He smiles back at you, sending you a mock salute before heading off to presumably his room. Before he gets to the end of the hallway he suddenly stops and turns, yelling back at you that Price wants to see you in his office after you finish eating. He really waited until the last minute for that one, didn’t he? Despite the slight annoyance you held, it was overshadowed by the simple amusement you had watching the man. He might not have known you knew of his famous shenanigans before you even set eyes on him, but you would get there. You take a deep breath, inhaling the aroma of what the mess hall had to offer for today. It exceeded your expectations, but that could just be the fact that your old base had shit food. 

You truly wondered what Price had to say to you, deciding that he was calling you down to fire you for the disrespect you had shown him and your apparent partner by leaving so suddenly. Obviously, it was not going to be that dramatic, but you still worried a tad bit. You were aware that you would likely be working alongside Simon, and some small masochistic part of you accepted this job despite it. Maybe in spite of it. You wanted to prove yourself to him, though you’re now realizing that he’ll eventually need to know your identity. Something you aren’t keen on sharing. 

That part of you had been shed long ago, and now your new feathers have grown in.

[breekento]

Have you ever gone into possible hobbies that Nanami has vs Higuruma? I'm disappointed we never got to see his likes and hobbies 😭😭😭

Welcome back to another HiguNana analysis by Bree!

Unfortunately we don’t ever get to know very much about the personal interests and hobbies of Higuruma and Nanami throughout the show. They already have very little screen time and what we do see is usually pertaining only to the world of sorcery. But something that Higuruma and Nanami nation have decided is that both of these hunky men are wealthy and wealthy men have hobbies.

Like usual, these are my personal head-cannons please don’t be mad at me.

Hobbies that HiguNana have in common:

They are men of style and class, both wearing luxury suits and splurging on nice cars and watches. They adore shopping with you. They’ve worked hard in their careers to be able to afford their lifestyle and they both have the love language of gift giving. Those two things combined equals shopping trips for the two of you. They love dressing you up, watching you spin around for them. They can put their money where their mouth is. When you can’t decide which dress to buy for their work party, they say, “Just get both, darling. You can use one for a date night and one for the party.”

In a similar vein, they love traveling. And they love bringing you along. Even if it’s just a weekend getaway somewhere you’ve never been, they will book a last-minute trip and pack your bags for you. They already know your essentials and favorite outfits so you can expect your bag to be packed as soon as you get home.

Nanami’s hobbies:

Starting off with the most obvious, something we do know about Nanami is his love for reading. Before his death, he mentioned all of the books he never got around to reading. I like to think he has a home library and a wide range of taste in books from historical non-fiction to fiction fantasy books. In the mornings, he brews a cup of black coffee and sits outside, reading whatever current novel he is on before getting dressed and ready for work.

Something that we don’t have any clues for but is something that I can see fitting his character very well is a love for baking and cooking. He seems like the type of man to insist on cooking for holidays like Valentine’s Day, Christmas, and Thanksgiving. His love for pastries only signifies that he at some point has dabble in baking. Plus, he would look just adorable in an apron.

Maybe this is just me self-inserting myself but as an avid plant mother Nanami has the type of personality to be a loving plant father. He’s patient and gentle and would take the utmost care of a garden or home jungle. He could use his own fresh vegetables in his cooking!

Now, this might tie in to the shopping hobby but we all know Nanami is a man of funky ties. I could see him collecting fun ties. Shopping for other items and coming across a new pattern he has never seen before, he can’t help himself. He has a drawer only for his ties and picks them out for every occasion.

Nanami is a white collar man and who do all white collar man love? Golf. Nanami is a man of golf. It only makes sense that he would have a section of his closet dedicated to his golf attire. Many times, business deals and business meetings are done over a game of golf.

Higuruma’s hobbies:

Higuruma was much more difficult to identify some hobbies but after some deliberation, I think I’ve found a handful that I would coin. Maybe I will even write them into future Higuruma fanfics.

The first one would be poker. You can’t tell me you can’t imagine Higuruma, cigarette in mouth and whiskey on the table playing poker with a group of other lawyers in his firm. After a long and stressful day of being professional, they undo their ties and relax over a game of poker. They have enough money to make the stakes higher by adding bets and money on the line.

To me, Higuruma strikes me as a music type of guy. More specifically, old music. He has a collection of vinyls that he will pull out and show guests and more importantly, you. Weekend mornings, he heads down to the local record store and thumbs through the new albums they have in stock. He has a well up-kept vintage record player, only the finest machine to play his collection.

I honestly can’t remember if it was ever made evident in the manga that Higuruma smoked or if we all just collectively gave him that head cannon but Higuruma is a smoker. Not only a smoker but he collects cigars. Rarely does he smoke his fine cigars, only pulling them out for special occasions such as weddings or other important events.

Similarly, Higuruma is a bar hopper. Not in the same sense as a twenty-something college kid but as an established lawyer with a wealth behind him. He finds new and fun bars with good live music to sit and have a few drinks at. His favorite thing is bringing you along. He gets to hear about your day, listen to the smooth local band behind you and have a nice drink. It’s an excuse to see you dressed up in your shopping spree outfit.

[inukag-archive]

Jealously Inuyasha fanfics??

Hello there! We previously posted a list of stories centered around jealous Inuyasha, but we were able to find a few more below (featuring Inuyasha and/or Kagome as the jealous one). You might also want to check out our protective/possessive InuKag list, since there is some overlap of jealousy there too.

Happy reading!

GIF by @sleepy-edits

Jealous Hanyou by Ayster (M)

Inuyasha does not like what is his to be touched, not even a simple touch in a friendly manner. His too cute for her own good girlfriend- Kagome - works at a bar where she wears a bunny-nurse cosplay as her work uniform. When he finally gets fed up with all the horny idiots that hit on his female at work- he at last claims her as his.

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The Jealous Are Troublesome to Others, but a Torment to Themselves by KuroNoHime (E)

Kagome's new, hot math tutor blows Inuyasha off his hinges and the girl of the future has finally had her quota on Inuyasha's constant, irrational jealousy. She brews a plan to serve Inuyasha some humble pie and make him admit his feelings for her.

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Let me kiss your ramen-flavoured lips by @jeremymarsh & @turtleduckstudios (G)

Working as a freelancer has forced Inuyasha to leave Kagome far more than he would have liked and they’ve sort of gotten used to it. So when a well-paid job opportunity that could allow them to finally marry and secure the house of their dreams comes along he can’t refuse, even if it means they’ll be on different sides of the country for a long time.

Will jealousy and insecurities play their part too?

Or:

Inuyasha is a worrywart and that causes problems more often than not, but in the end, Kagome loves him too much to care.

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InuKag - Jealousy by pastedpages (E)

A week after Kagome returns to the feudal era for good, Kōga shows up to see her—and Inuyasha isn't happy about it. Luckily for him, he's the only one she wants.

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The Other Woman by legallyadragon (T)

Kagome never truly understood why Koga's baseless flirting bothered Inuyasha so much. After all, he knew she wasn't actually interested.

She understands a little bit better now, but Inuyasha shows her that she doesn't have anything to worry about.

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Tits for Tat by @kitramune (E)

During Inuyasha's human night, Kagome ends up feeling something she hasn't felt in a long time. Luckily they have new ways of... venting that feeling, so to speak.

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Maybe, Probably by @lavaffair (T)

They've been best friends since they were kids, and somewhere along the way, they fell in love. However, neither of them have confessed these feelings to one another. They vowed to always put each other first, and to stick by each other's side no matter what.

With finals week two weeks away, Inuyasha's classmate asks him for help to study for their big test. The same classmate who happens to have a massive crush on him.

For the first time, Kagome deals a hand with jealousy.

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No One Else by @goshinote (G)

After exterminating a yokai in a small village, Inuyasha finds himself as the focus of a local woman's attentions. Since when is Inuyasha a ladies' man? Well, maybe that's stretching it.

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Perfectly Flawed by dolphingirl0113 (T)

Inuyasha began to feel the cruel stab of jealousy. How was he supposed to compete with a copy of himself? A better copy? Someone without all of his flaws? “Kagome…please don’t leave me…”

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Jealous Much? by Gfam89 (M)

Kagome is tired of the Kikyo and Inuyasha situation, so she goes home to get a break. She knows she can't be away from Inuyasha for too long, but when she meets another boy at school, how will Inuyasha react to her newfound 'friendship'

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A Sealed Fate by @ajoy3fanfics (M)

Kikyou no longer wishes to drag InuYasha to hell, but rather pick up where they left off 50 years ago. Convinced that this is what will heal InuYashas heart, Kagome leaves the feudal era, sealing the well behind her. Or so InuYasha thinks...

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Give Me Love - an InuAU by EnelyaTheSmall (T)

Inuyasha is a Mixed Martial Artist with an anger problem and Kagome is the breath of fresh air that he has so desperately needed.

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Love and War by @starlingchildgazingatthestars (E)

Prompt: "We're not just friends, and you fucking know it."

Kagome is fed up with Inuyasha's obnoxious, jealous behavior, and they get into a huge fight. They may be childhood best friends, but this is getting ridiculous. They aren't even a couple! Or are they...?

--

Feel free to add your own recs in the comments or reblogs! Check our Masterlist of previous lists to see which topics we've covered.  After reviewing our submission guidelines, send us an ask (here).

[missnxthingg]

Just for Tonight | Xavier Thorpe

Summary: Xavier Thorpe might not be best friends with (Y/N), but when he sees her crying at the Rave'N, he couldn't help it but go talk to her

A/N: So might obsession with Xavier Thorpe and Wednesday might've gone too far. So this is my fanfic comeback - in another fandom. I still don't have a taglist for Xavier, but let me know if you want to be tagged in future potential fics. OH, AND PLEASE SEND ME REQUESTS FOR HIM! I wanna write, but I don't have inspos right now. (EDIT: If it wasn't explicit enough, I DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO REPOST MY STORIES ON ANY OTHER ACCOUNTS. If you wanna read my stories on Wattpad, you can follow me there [@missnxthingg])

Words: 2.5K

Pairing: Xavier Thorpe x Female!Reader

Warnings: Not proof read, so there might be some typos. I think there might be a few cursings. But other than that, just a little bit of enemies to lovers that we're all found of

main masterlist | main blog | taglist

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Xavier Thorpe hated (Y/N) (Y/L/N). That wasn't news to anyone in Nevermore. He hated how smart she was and how she seemed to be friends with everyone around her. He got easily annoyed with her mere presence in the room. But tonight, something different sparkled inside him when he saw her leaving the room crying.

She had been excited for the Rave'N since they announced a date. She got even more excited when Harry McGowan invited her as his date. Enid dragged her and Wednesday for a shopping spree, where she found a beautiful baby blue dress. Everything was perfect, until Harry dumped her right after they arrived at the dance for one of Yoko's vampire friends.

(Y/N)'s golden and happy aura dissipated immediately after those words came out of Harry's mouth. She ran out of the room with tears in her eyes. She just didn't count that Xavier Thorpe was sitting alone at a table, watching the whole thing unfold in front of his eyes. 

After a huge fight with his father, he decided he wasn't in the mood to invite someone to the dance as a date. Actually, he was only sitting there because Ajax would kill him if he didn't tag along. But when his best friend got occupied with his own date, Xavier was left sipping on virgin punch, that tasted more like cough syrup, on the dining table

So when (Y/N) ran across the room, something clicked inside Xavier's head. His chest got heavy and he immediately shot up from his seat and ran after her. She was crying alone in the corner, sitting on the floor close to the toilets.

He ducked in front of her, who now had her face between her knees, shielding it from anyone else to see her crying. But Xavier let a hand fly to her shoulder, making (Y/N) look up.

"Hey, are you okay?" His voice sounded softer than any of the other times he talked to her. Anyone could hear how worried Xavier was at that moment. (Y/N) looked up and found his piercing green eyes observing her with attention.

"No." She admitted, crying a little bit harder. "But I don't think you would like to hear about it. You can't stand me, after all."

"Come on, you're crying. I would never, ever, walk away from you like this." He said. "And I don't hate you, even if you don't believe it. Maybe you could try pretending I'm a friend to you."

(Y/N) stayed silent, looking at his face to decide what to do, until she nodded "Harry McGowan ditched me for one of Yoko's friends. Said she was hotter and that he didn't want to be my date anymore."

"What a fucking asshole, I'm gonna beat the shit out of him." Xavier's jaw clenched and he quickly shot up to go talk to Harry. But (Y/N) ran after him and held him by the elbow.

"No, Xavier! Please, it would be worse to end the night at Weems' office talking about what happened." She said and his eyes softened when he saw that she was crying harder now. (Y/N)'s eyeliner was smudged, almost ruining the soft, but pretty, makeup she was wearing.

"Do you have eyeliner with you?" He asked and she nodded, pointing to her purse. "Okay, let's go find a restroom."

Fortunately, the men's restroom was empty. Xavier took her by the hand and helped her sit on the sink to get a better vision of her face. He took a few paper wipes and started planning what he would do next.

"What are you doing?" She asked and he shushed her.

"Taking care of you." He said. "No pretty girl deserves to cry at the Rave'N."

"Suddenly I'm a pretty girl to you?" She asked. "You literally shouted how annoying I am for the whole school to hear countless of times. And now you're taking care of me?"

"I don't know, (Y/N)." He said, taking the paper to clean the smudge makeup spots on her face. "I saw you crying and I couldn't take it. I needed to see if you were okay."

(Y/N) could see how honest he was from up close. Xavier was concentrated on his job, fixing the makeup like the very detailed artist he is. So she simply decided to believe his words and let him do his job.

"You shouldn't cry, though. Harry's an idiot for thinking anyone else looks prettier than you tonight." He said. "He's just wrong."

"You think so?"

"Are you kidding me? Look at you." Xavier laughed. His pretty dimples showed on his face, making (Y/N) smile. "You look amazing, (Y/N)."

"Thank you." She said. 

Now Xavier had her pen eyeliner in hands and asked her to close her eyes. Doing this was easier than he thought it would be. It's like paiting details on a canvas. Soon he was done and (Y/N) was back to how she looked when she first crossed the entrance.

"Where's your date?" 

"Didn't invited anyone." He admitted. "I'm having a few problems with my dad and I wasn't in the mood for partying. Ajax dragged me here tonight."

"I'm so sorry." (Y/N) rested a hand on his shoulder and smiled sadly. "I'm here if you wanna talk."

"It's stupid. We're always arguing about his absence in my life. But he doesn't agree with me because he believes money is enough." (Y/N) saw his eyes brimming with tears and didn't hesitate in pulling him into a hug. Xavier was surprised at first, but easily melted into her touch.

"I think both of us needed this tonight." She whispered in his ear.

"I think we did." He replied, holding her a little tighter, afraid she would let go too soon. Xavier didn't know he needed someone to be there for him until that moment.

It's been a while since anyone hugged him. It felt so warm and nice, especially coming from (Y/N). So he rested his head above hers and sighed, trying to not fall into a heavier cry. This wasn't about him. He was there to comfort her.

"I'm sorry." He started, his head still comfortably resting above hers. "For being a dick with you all the time. You're not a bad person."

"It's okay, I was an idiot too." She said back, still holding him close to her. "You're not bad, either. Actually, I have to say thank you for comforting me tonight."

"It was nothing." He giggled during his crying. "No one deserves to miss the dance because of some stupid boy." 

"Then dance with me." She leaned back and looked him in the eyes. (Y/N) wiped the tears from Xavier's face, making him smile. And so, he offered his hand to help her off the restroom's sink.

"It will be my pleasure." He pulled her back to the room where everyone was having a good time. 

Of course, the duo walking into the room together brought a lot of attention to them. Most people were surprised to see them holding hands, not choking each other's throats. Xavier and (Y/N) danced to a lot of upbeat songs and some good classics through the night, making everything they went through that night disappear. But when a slow song started, things changed.

"I don't know how to slow dance." She admitted and Xavier's eyes softened.

"I'll teach you." He pulled her in, one hand resting on her hip and the other one holding hers. (Y/N) left her free hand on his shoulder, but still was very far away from him. "Come on, I don't bite."

Feeling her cheeks heat up, (Y/N) took a step forward and got closer to Xavier. He pulled her even closer a few seconds later, making it perfectly intimate.

"This is good." He whispered. "Now we just sway to the song. There's no secret recipe to slow dance.

"Okay." She smiled at him and started following his steps to the song. Xavier never felt so relaxed in his life and he didn't know why.

But when (Y/N) rested her face on his chest, he knew why he felt so relaxed. He was with her, after all. And suddenly, all the months filled with hatred and fights became clear to him: he only got annoyed because he liked her. Now that they let their guards down, it was easy to see it.

And oh, he was so close. Xavier could just lean down and kiss her right there. But he couldn't. He didn't want their kiss to be judged by everyone watching around. Not to mention that (Y/N) looked so peaceful with her eyes closed, swaying her body to the music.

"I thought my night was ruined, but you really turned it around, Xavi."

"Xavi?" He asked, a little surprised by the way she called him.

"It's a nickname, don't you like it?" She asked and he smiled.

"I do." He said. "It's just, I'm not used to it. But it's a cute nickname."

"Like the owner." She smiled up to him and Xavier could swear he would die right there. He just wanted to kiss her, but he didn't want to do it in a crowded room.

"Can I take you somewhere?"

She frowned in confusion, but trusted him to take her somewhere private. And they walked for a few minutes until reaching a small shed in the woods. (Y/N) knew it was his private art studio, but she had never stepped inside. It was like walking into Xavier's mind, one of the most different experiences in her life. They had their hands linked together, fingers laced and everything. He searched for some reaction on her face.

"This is my studio." He said. "I think that if we are being vulnerable tonight, this is the place where I am vulnerable all the time."

"Everything in here is amazing." She took a good look at some of his sketches pinned on the wall, admiring most of them.

"I have a drawing of you." He admitted. "Bigger than I'd like to admit."

Xavier uncovered a canvas and showed (Y/N) a big painting of her, focusing on her book at the library and scrunching her nose in concentration. He smiled to remember the day he sketched that, another bad afternoon she turned around just by existing.

"I was so fucking sad that day. I was pissed and wanted to be alone. But of course, my Miss Perfect was at the library." He said. "But you were just so concentrated in your book, looking beautiful as hell, and didn't even notice me in the room. So I just started drawing you in silence and it made me feel better."

"I look so beautiful in this one."

"You always do. I think that's your superpower." He giggled. "And it's my favorite painting here. I love everything about it."

"I think it just became my favorite too." She said with a big smile. "You never really hated me, did you?"

"I think it was just me failing on how to express my feelings." He said. "My communication only works through art."

"Well, if you're gonna continue drawing me, then you'll have to stop with the stupid fights over nothing." She poked his chest, teasing him with a pretty smirk.

"Never again, promise you." He extended his pinky and she took it with her own finger. "Thank you for the company tonight."

"No, thank you for consoling me tonight." (Y/N) said. "I really needed someone to take care of me at that moment and I'm glad it was you."

"Yeah, I'm glad too." He smiled. "You know, when I saw you crying, I just couldn't take it. I wanted to take care of you."

"You did, Xavi." She held his face between her hands and he glued his forehead to hers. "And I'll always remember this as the night you were there for me."

Xavier was paralyzed by her gaze, so he didn't talk for a few seconds until he said: "I really want to kiss you right now."

(Y/N) replied by pressing her lips to his in a gentle kiss. Xavier was mesmerized by how she tasted in his mouth, but easily grew fond of that new feeling. So he deepened the kiss by tugging her on the waist and pulling her closer to him. She parted her lips and he easily captured her tongue in a bolder move. She smiled into the kiss, but didn't stop it for a second. But after a long time slowly making out in the quiet night, Xavier had to pull away.

"God, you're so beautiful." He put a stray of her hair behind her ear and smiled wider.

"You said that like three times tonight."

"Just can't help myself." He joked, making her laugh. "Especially when you're out there serving looks in this amazing dress."

"Well, you're not far behind." (Y/N) fixed the bow he wrapped around his neck to substitute the usual tie. Xavier got to see every detail from her face by looking at her so close to him.

"Come on, I'll walk you back to your dorm." He extended a hand to her and she whined, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. 

"Don't want tonight to end." She whispered and he hugged her tightly. "Can we stay here?"

"You have to sleep, beautiful." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "And I'll be here tomorrow. We can have breakfast together and we can hang around here. What do you think?"

"I think that would be great."

He captured her lips in one last kiss and softly dragged her out of the shed. Most students were getting back from the party at that time. Xavier and (Y/N) took their time on the walk back, arms linked and casual conversation making everything nicer. 

When they got back to Ophelia Hall, Xavier was glad Thornhill was still at the party. So he got to take (Y/N) up to her room, where they shared a few more goodbye kisses when no one was around. 

"Thank you for everything tonight." She fixed the collar of his shirt and smiled. "When everything turned to shit, you made it all perfect again."

"I had an amazing time with you." He admitted. "I'm glad we get to be friends after everything we went through."

"I think we skipped a few steps on this new friendship." She laughed and he tagged along before pecking her lips again.

"Don't really care right now." He said. "We can be friends that kiss each other."

"I can take it." She kissed him again until they heard someone coming in the hall.

"Hey, good night, beautiful." He kissed her forehead and smiled down at her. "I'll see you tomorrow for breakfast.

"Good night, Xavi." She returned his gesture with a kiss on the cheek. "Sleep tight."

"I'll be thinking of you." He shouted from the end of the hall, making (Y/N) giggled.

"Me too." She shouted back before entering her room again.

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⋙ADD YOURSELF TO THE TAGLIST!⋘

[zykamiliah]

Hey, sorry to bother you, but I've been seeing something in the fandom that kind of confuses me, so I'm leaving this ask to my favorite svsss blogs.

I've been trying to get more into Shen Jiu's character, as he is pretty interesting and arguably a fan favorite, and I've noticed that, so far of the fanfics I've read, he is more often than not depicted as a good teacher. A harsh one, but still good? Or not terrible?

One that likes teaching, is involved with his students, taking the little of what we've seen of Shen Yuan's teaching methods and just, giving them a twist, "improving" them even sometimes.

Often it ends up being a show of how Shen Yuan was clumsy, not that good of a teacher (or of a Shen Qingqiu) and I'm... Kind of confused by this trend? Like, is it rooted in canon? Obviously this is still more interesting to read than the "SJ is just a tsundere that never did anything wrong ever" thing, but it feels kind of similar.

I cannot imagine a character as genuinely bitter and angry as Shen Jiu enjoying being a teacher, having a nurturing bone in his body or even being hands on in the teaching of his disciples, several of which he literally bullied out of his peak. But maybe it's just me and I'm wrong?

Was Shen Jiu a good teacher?

I guess I'm just curious of where it comes from. I like Shen Yuan's character, and it often feels like people take Shen Jiu's to show how bad at everything SY is, even if it isn't consistent with SJ's character and often lack nuances, in my opinion.

(Or even if the story claims loving SY while also stripping him away of everything that makes him interesting other than his obliviousness, but that's a whole other thing.)

Sorry again, and I also apologize for the long ask, I'd just figured you or someone that follows you might have an answer.

(Also, I get that fandoms gotta fandom, and I'm not saying people shouldn't write it or anything, I may be a strickler for canon but I'm not the police. Write what you want. I just wonder where it comes from, as I figure that knowing its origins might help me in the future, but I promise I'm not trying to start discourse or anything, so I hope I've made my point clear enough without offending anyone.)

hello!! :DD

well sj being ooc in fics is a common thing by now. people tend to portray him softer than he's in canon, to the point it sometimes turns his whole character upside down. in extreme cases, you'll be dealing with a bitter, more tsundere version of sy with sj's backstory, which is secretly what many people want IMO lol often this people also perceive sy as an incompetent dumb nerd that only knows about monster lore and has no other skills or abilities aside from that-- essentially, they fall for the unreliable narrator's trap of believing every lie he tells about himself.

it's never outright stated, but sj didn't like children, so is fair to assume he didn't like teaching or caring for them either. taking into account qing jing peak's toxic atmosphere pre sy's transmigration, AND the fact that sj was paranoid about being overthrown since he hadn't developed a golden core even after becoming a peak lord and taking lbh in, I don't think he'd be interested in teaching anyone anything. in a lot of cultivation novels, disciples are just given manuals and left to self-study them (like he let lbh use the fake manual, expecting lbh would die from using it. haha. such a good teacher!). this could be the case. aside from that, I don't personally think sj would want to provide any kid guidance. and that's not mentioning how he allowed and enabled bullying, targeted talented disciples, and overall was more worried about his own cultivation and survival and reputation than other things or people.

so where this fanon sj comes from? I'm not sure, really, but I think some people just want a version of him that's palatable AND defensible, like my friend furby says, a declawed sj that's just a poor misunderstood meowmeow who deep inside is secretly good and nice. it's a thing that people who struggle with liking "villainous" or "morally bad" characters do: twisting the narrative around to justify this character's actions. It doesn't help that he's SO complicated, and people who have very black-and-white thinking struggle to place him in either side of the spectrum-- it's the problem mxtx outlined through sqh and sqq's voices

ch.14 house arrest

ch.19 shen jiu

really, the fandom has just proved mxtx's point xD

anyway, there's a lot of misconceptions about sj. there are some pretty wild theories around. some fans also treat his abuse as The Worst Abuse in comparison to the Child Abuse he did, because of the (unconfirmed) hints that sj was sexually assaulted by qiu jianluo, as if SA is the worst kind of abuse and child abuse falls back on the tier-list ¯_(ツ)_/¯ because obviously anything that involves sex in inherently worse, apparently

in other cases, people are simply more familiar with the fanon version of the characters, and that's who they portray in their writing. after all, many people read the novel once and then go on to read dozen of fics; it's normal the fanon sticks more on the brain than canon (not judging! it happens to me as well lol) and those fanon versions are more popular because, as i said, this version of sj is more morally palatable (and bland and less fun ┐(︶▽︶)┌)

thank you for the ask!! :DDDD ❤️❤️❤️ i love receiving asks~

[television-overload]

of our own making

(an X-Files fanfic)

Chapter 3/34 - soft blue sweater

[Read on AO3]

That weekend, it is with giddy excitement that Mulder and Scully spend the day at her apartment up to their eyeballs in paperwork, brochures, and Chinese food.

“Next question: where would we live? Together or separate?”

“Together,” she answers, before thinking she should probably soften that affirmative answer with an indifferent, “if that works for you.”

“It more than works for me,” he says with certainty. “I can ask Frohike for the number of the real estate agent who hooked him up with the lair. Or we could live here, either way.”

This is crazy. They’re moving so fast. What they’re thinking of doing doesn’t even make sense. Everyone will think they’ve well and truly lost their minds, and maybe they have!

“This is giving me a headache,” she admits, feeling suddenly overwhelmed.

“I’ll flag that as one to revisit later,” he says, jotting something down in a notebook. “This communicating thing is a lot of work, huh, Scully? No wonder we don’t do it more often.” He grins at her, more freely than he has in a long time.

She rubs a hand over her tired eyes. “No, it’s good. It’s good. I’m glad we’re doing this, Mulder.”

“Me too.”

He just looks so happy, she can’t help but smile back at him. The knot of uncertainty she’s been harboring as a result of her overthinking dissolves instantly in the radiance of his boyish enthusiasm. He’s all soft edges today, for once out of his G-man uniform. Instead, he wears that soft knit blue sweater she likes so much, and jeans that hug him in all the right places.

His socked feet rest on her coffee table while he flips through various documents, assembling them into binders with an attention to detail that she’s only ever seen him apply to their files. She’s mesmerized.

This might be her life. If they go through with this… He just said he’d live with her. Weekends spent together flash before her eyes, not having to say goodbye after one of their movie nights, just ‘goodnight.’ Takeout containers morph into home-cooked dinners at the table in her kitchen. Him making coffee in the morning. Driving to and from work together…

As much as the thought appeals to her, there’s one tiny detail missing that could put an end to this entire operation before it even begins.

“Mulder?” she asks, inadvertently cutting off whatever rambling he’s been doing while she wasn’t paying attention.

He glances up at her, pushing his glasses back up his nose to keep them from sliding off. The sight almost makes her forget what she was going to ask, as important as it was, but in this case, her concern far outweighs anything else.

“Do you think they’ll buy the co-parenting thing? I mean, I’m not really seeing a precedent for it in any of the literature I’ve looked at. Would they even accept our application?”

He’s quiet for a second. That second stretches into two.

“I’ve been thinking about that.”

She swears the entire block goes silent, not even the sound of a car on the street outside or the hum of heat pumping through her apartment. It makes his words feel heavy. Meaningful. Like she’s just dipped into unfamiliar and dangerous territory without knowing it.

“And...?”

He rubs the back of his neck, obviously struggling to verbalize whatever is going on in that beautiful mind of his.

And then he just outright says it.

“We could get married.”

Her eyes go wide. 

Married.  

“Mulder…”

He puts his hands up, halting her speech. “No, I’m serious. You just said we’d be living together. What’s the difference if we also happen to have a piece of paper that makes it official?” 

There’s that look in his eye, the one he gets when he sits her down for one of his slide presentations. Never could she have imagined he’d have the same look when trying to convince her of marriage. It’s overwhelming.

“Unless,” he pauses, “you think you might meet someone sometime in the future, which is a completely valid concern…”

She has to stop him there. “That’s not it at all. I just– What if this doesn’t work out and we don’t get a baby? You’d be stuck with me and have nothing to show for it.” 

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, the saying goes. If this fails, she could lose… everything. Is that a risk worth taking? Would he grow to resent her? Would they have to jump through legal hoops to undo all of this if things don’t go their way?

“And you could meet someone too,” she reminds him, “someone that could give you a real family. What then?”

He ducks his head, shaking it in a poor attempt to hide a wry smile. “What’s a real family, anyway?” he counters with a shrug, then grabs her hand. “I can’t think of anyone I’d rather be stuck with than you, Scully.”

Her eyes find his, searching them for something to clue her in to his thought process. Is he serious? Has he lost his mind? She finds nothing but bare honesty in his emerald depths. Bare honesty, and that hope she’s been seeing there since this whole idea came up. It’s a different look for him, but oh how she loves it. She wants to do everything in her power to keep it there.

“Would you believe me if I told you I’ve thought of asking you before?” he asks.

Her brows furrow, and though part of her wants to bolt, to declare this whole evening an error in judgment, she stays, looking at him warily. His thumb runs over her knuckles, soothing, as if he had known her inclination was to flee from this conversation. Stay , his touch says. Stay with me.

She shakes her head, lips quivering in an almost-smile, and says what he always loves to hear her say. “You’re crazy.”

“No, I’m not!” he counters, equally amused and defensive. “When you had cancer, and I had to fight tooth and nail to get to see you in the hospital…”

She swallows at the memory of waking to find him collapsed by the side of her bed, his hand clasping hers like a lifeline.

“Really?”

“Really,” he answers, his smile softening into fondness. “Though I’m pretty sure Bill would have killed me.”

That brings out a laugh, which Scully shyly hides behind her hand as she wipes it across her nose. When had she started tearing up?

“We’ll buy you a helmet and some shoulder pads, then,” she concedes teasingly.

His mouth quirks up in a smile, knowing precisely what is implied by that response.

“Is that a yes?”

She pauses for a moment, eyes locking with his. Is it? Is she about to agree to marry her best friend?

It should be more of a question, but it isn’t. For some reason, this feels like the most logical thing to do.

She nods.

He shifts on the couch, suppressing a smile and squeezing her hand before letting go. “Well alright then…” he says, crossing his arms in front of him for lack of anything better to do with them. “We can go to the courthouse whenever you’re ready. Or, if you want an actual wedding—”

“No,” she says, a little too quickly. “No, the courthouse will be fine.”

“As long as your mom doesn’t pool her money with Bill to order a hit on me,” he jokes.

“She wouldn’t do that,” she says, rolling her eyes. He does bring up an interesting point though, one that fills her with trepidation. “God, we’ll have to tell her, won’t we? And your mom. And Skinner .”

The dread increases with each name listed.

“We’ll figure that out as we go,” he assures her, placing a calming hand on her knee. “For now, this is just between us. Until you decide otherwise.”

“Just between us,” she agrees, letting his words melt her worries away.

 -.-.-

He had lingered for a while in her doorway when the time came for him to go back to his apartment. It was awkward, but not in a way that might cause alarm in light of what they’d just agreed to do. 

No, as crazy as it might sound, this was one decision neither of them could imagine regretting. The gravity of the situation, though, was what led to the uncharacteristic silence and shyness as she bade him farewell with an impulsive, last-minute hug. He had smiled, and walked backwards out the door, maintaining eye contact until she slowly shut the door between them.

She lies awake in her bed hours later, unable to sleep.

This morning, she was a perpetually single federal agent with a pipe dream of being a mother. Now, she’s engaged to her partner, and there’s partially filled out adoption paperwork with both his and her names on them burning a hole through her top desk drawer.

The Dana from seven years ago would tell her she’s lost her mind.

But then, that Dana also wouldn’t know how important her crackpot new partner would end up being in her life. Skeptical as she was, she’d hardly believe it anyway.

Engaged . She’s always thought about this day, how it would feel to have a man ask for her hand in marriage. She can say without a doubt that this is not how she expected it to go, but the disappointment one might expect in her situation is absent. They may not be going about this in the traditional way, but it is nothing less than what she’d expect with Mulder. 

He had long since rewritten her thoughts on what a normal life was supposed to look like. Her eyes had been opened, the possibilities now seemingly endless instead of linear and predictable. Despite the heartache she has endured over the years, it’s worth it to live with a more complete view of the world. Sometimes, it feels like she and Mulder are the only ones who can see it.

Sighing, she rolls over, her gaze settling on her nightstand.

She shouldn’t. He could be sleeping.

All the same, the corded device beckons her. It’s a temptation she’s familiar with, although tonight it is particularly strong and irresistible.

Don’t, Dana. It’s not real. He’s not really your– Give him space.

She picks up the phone anyway.

Before she can even change her mind, she hears the line connect, and she greets him in the way he’s come to expect.

“Mulder, it’s me.”

She can almost hear him smile on the other end of the call, and all thoughts of this being a bad idea fly from her mind. 

“Well if it isn’t the soon-to-be Mrs. Spooky Mulder,” he says jovially, sounding much too awake for her to have interrupted his sleep.

She rolls her eyes, but can’t help the flutter in her chest at his words. At the timbre of his voice, lazy and drawn out at this late hour. He can be endearing when he wants to be. A real sap at times.

“Hey, Scully. We’re engaged.”

“I know,” she speaks into the phone, curling in toward it and holding it with both hands up against her ear. Her pillow welcomes her into its embrace, and she sinks into it, grinning into the covers.

“We’re gonna give poor Skinner a heart attack,” he says with a laugh.

Their poor boss. He must have had no idea what he was getting into when he was assigned to oversee the X-Files. 

“He’ll get over it,” she says dismissively.

She hears Mulder chuckle a little, the breathy sound tickling her ear. She can tell he’s tipping back in his rickety desk chair in his apartment by the rhythmic creak that sounds, and she pictures him with his feet up on the desk, maybe spinning his basketball around idly in his hands.

“I don’t know, this might break his heart, Scully,” he teases.

Scully rolls her eyes. “Oh, would you stop that? He does not have a thing for me.”

“He absolutely does, and so does every guy in the building.”

She almost asks, ‘Every guy?’ but thankfully catches herself before uttering those words. Sometimes she wonders, but then everything with Diana had shaken what she thought she knew about him. They are still working on getting back to where they were before. It’s far too fresh for her to make any suppositions about where they stand now.

They fall into a brief silence, each waiting for the other to speak first.

“So, to what do I owe the pleasure?” he finally asks, when it becomes clear she won’t tell him why she called unless prompted.

She sighs. “I can’t sleep.”

He hums softly in amusement, the sound rattling over the phone. “I don’t know if I’m really the expert you want to be talking to on that particular subject, Scully. Just what exactly do you want me to do about it?” he teases.

“Just talk to me,” she says softly, as if speaking quietly will somehow lessen the embarrassment she feels.

“Ah, so you want me to bore you to sleep. Got it,” he says, taking it in stride. “Which cryptid would you like to hear about tonight, Miss Scully?”

She closes her eyes, her lips tightening into a tired smile. “No monsters, Mulder. You know I find those way too fascinating.”

“Ha ha, Scully,” he says, laughing at her obvious joke. “Okay. How about this? There was this kid at my school growing up. Mark. One of twelve siblings in the same family.”

“Twelve?” she asks incredulously.

“Mm-hmm. All of them adopted.”

Her smile widens, and she burrows further into her pillow, tucking her comforter over her shoulders. She loves these little glimpses she gets into his old life, rare as they are. She doesn’t have to ask why he chose to tell her this one tonight of all nights. His motives are as clear as can be.

“They’d go to Disneyland every summer, all twelve of them plus their parents,” he continues. “Sam and I were so jealous. One of the girls was in the same grade as her, so we all hung out a lot. Well, not all of us. With that many siblings, there were bound to be some you just didn’t get along with. We had fun, though.”

“How’d they afford Disneyland with twelve children?” she asks sleepily.

“It was Martha’s Vineyard, Scully,” he answers simply. “They were filthy rich.”

She hums, feeling herself begin to relax at the soothing monotone of his voice. The line falls silent, but she knows he’s still there. She can hear the gentle sound of his breathing. She allows it to lull her into a state of restfulness.

“After Sam disappeared, it didn’t seem fair. He had so many siblings, while I lost the only one I’d ever have. I stayed away from him for a while after that. He was one of the only people at school that didn’t treat me like some criminal or freak after she was abducted, but I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing him or his little sister anymore. It was too big a reminder of what I was missing.”

Scully’s heart aches as she listens. This bedtime story doesn’t have a happy ending, she knows. Though her eyes are closed, she feels a tear leak onto her pillow, hurting for the lonely little boy her partner had once been. She wishes, like she has so many times before, that she could have been there for him then like she is now.

His voice returns, crackling over the line. “Eventually I started going over there again,” he continues, “before they moved away. They were kind to me. Treated me like one of their own. It didn’t make up for Sam being gone, of course, but at least I wasn’t completely alone. And it taught me an important lesson, one I think I’m only just beginning to understand.”

“What’s that, Mulder?” Scully slurs, barely keeping awake but wanting to know the answer—this epiphany he’s had. She has to know how he can tell this story without breaking down into tears as she would if it were her own.

“You can choose your family,” he answers finally, as if it were the obvious conclusion to this story. “They might not have been connected by blood, but Mark’s family was connected by something stronger. Love .”  

He breathes, perhaps lost in the memory of his childhood friend. Perhaps he’s contemplating the great mysteries and joys of the universe. Either could be possible for this deeply philosophical man.

“It seemed to work out pretty good for them.”

Scully’s heart blooms with emotion, her eyes filling with tears.

“It’s time I choose my family, Scully,” he says softly, his voice lowering to just above a whisper. “I hope one day I’ll find out what happened to my sister. I– I still need to have some closure, I think. But it feels good to hope for something else too, for a change. Something more than piecing together a family that was never together in the first place. So, thank you. You’re the one who showed me it was possible. I think I owe you more than everything, at this point.”

She smiles softly into her pillow, reminded of the feel of his breath on her lips that day in his hallway. It’s a thought she has come back to innumerable times since it happened, and though there have been some shake ups since then, it still brings her comfort.

She allows the memory to wash over her, covering her with a blanket of warmth and security.

And finally, she succumbs to the pull of sleep. 

-.-.-

It’s quiet. He listens, recognizing the subtle change in her breathing, and he knows she’s fallen asleep. He could hang up, call it a night, but he selfishly isn’t ready to.

There’s still one more thing he wants to say.

“I choose you, Scully,” he whispers into the phone, too cowardly to say it when she might hear him. “You’re my family. And I can’t wait to see how it grows from here.”

~~~

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