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skamenglishsubs · 3 years ago

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Subtext and Culture, Young Royals, Season 1, Episode 2

Episode 2 picks up the morning day after the initiation party, the girls are having breakfast lunch at their dorm, the boys at theirs, and everyone wants the juicy details about what happened at the party...

Culture: Tell me more, tell me more, did you get very far? Although, it's pretty funny how the roles are reversed, Maddie is all "meh" about it, while Nils tells a different story. Then again, since when do you get together after a blowjob?

Culture: I actually have no idea why Simon is having breakfast at Skogsbacken, since regular schools only cover lunch for students, everyone eats breakfast at home, and then goes to school. Then again, it allows a scene where (Never mind, they're having lunch, thanks @kamand !) Blink and you miss it: Wilhelm casts some nervous glances at Simon after having been called out for disappearing at the party and almost forced to confess to making out with someone.

Culture: I know Felice is trying to put August down, but don't knock a proper Swedish pizza! As much as I like living in the US, they can't fucking make pizzas here, and the first thing I eat every time I go back to Sweden is always a real pizza. With pineapple and shrimp as God intended pizza to be made!

Culture: August is namedropping ski resorts in the Alps, which is where you go skiing in Europe if you have money, although Saint-Martin-de-Belleville is actually near Val Thorens in France, while Verbier is in Switzerland. It does have a three-star restaurant, though. Sweden and Norway have a couple of decent ski resorts, but the Scandinavian mountain chain is simply not as impressive as the Alps.

Subtext: Remember Wilhelm getting up and hurrying to math class in the beginning of the scene? It was so he could grab the other seat next to Simon, because he knows Simon is gonna sit next to Sara, since no-one else does.

Culture: Formally greeting your teacher before class is very uncommon in Sweden, but since Hillerska is all about discipline and tradition, of course they do it. Note that they're again using the formal Swedish title for male teachers, Magister, which in a regular school would be kind of a joke, since teachers and students are on a first-name basis with each other.

Subtext: Wilhelm is exposing how the world works if you have money. At Simon's old school, studying alone would result in good grades, but Hillerska is slightly corrupt and almost expects the students to essentially pay for getting a good grade.

Subtext: Simon is lying to his teacher, he absolutely hasn't talked to his parents about paying for private lessons.

Subtext: No, Sara absolutely does care about what other people think about her, and when she directly tells Felice that she would actually like some friends, that's when Felice gets it and starts making an effort to become real friends with her.

Culture: They're all bilingual at Simon's home, they're all speaking Spanish and Swedish, although Linda has a very noticeable accent to her Swedish. Based on demographics and statistics, the most likely scenario is that Linda immigrated to Sweden from Chile, met Micke, and started a family. In real life, Omar Rudberg was born in Venezuela and grew up in Sweden, while Carmen Gloria Pérez was born in New York, and grew up in Puerto Rico.

Subtext: Remember how I talked in the intro post about how distant social classes know nothing of each other? Ayub and Rosh are either working class or lower middle class like Simon, and since rowing is a typical upper class sport, they know nothing of it, they don't even think of it as a real sport. Unlike football, which is a proper working class sport, they know all about that!

Subtext: Scandinavia has Jantelagen, and everyone there thinks it's uniquely Scandinavian, but all countries have some form of Tall Poppy Syndrome. In this scene, Simon is starting to make a class journey, he started rowing, he started trying to fit in with the other upper-class kids, and getting into a relationship with someone as upper-class as Wilhelm would definitely move him all the way. But going on a journey means leaving things behind, which is why Rosh and Ayub are cutting him down and literally turning their backs on him. They like it in the small town of Bjärstad, why can't he be happy there too? Why is he betraying his roots?

Subtext: This comment from August nicely foreshadows a later episode when August does something traceable on a School computer...

Subtext: What August means is that he's not sure Wilhelm has the same desire to be accultured into the upper class, to play the part of a proper prince, in the same way that he and Erik have accepted their roles and are even enjoying them.

Culture: Although it's impossible to read the name of the medicine, the paper tag on the bottle indicates that it's some kind of prescription medicine. From the conversation with Vincent, we learn that it's some kind of ADHD medication, probably some kind of Dextroamphetamine since those improve athletic ability and cognitive functions in healthy people.

Culture: Birkenstock sandals are associated with hippies in Sweden as well as in many parts of the world, so August is actually saying that the school counselor isn't really part of the same upper-class society as the rest of the staff. And again, his use of the word sosse drives the point home.

Subtext: Consequently, the counselor sees right through August and refuses to immediately prescribe him the medication that he wants...

Subtext: ...even though August tries to both bribe him and threaten him into giving him the medication he wants.

Subtext: A big theme of this episode is class journeys, and in this scene and a previous exercise scene, August gushes about how good a thing that is, how proud he is of Simon for going on one, and spouts some crap about how everyone can make it if they really want to.

Subtext: Thankfully, Madison says what we're all thinking: August is full of shit, life isn't fair, and they're only at the school because they were born into privilege.

Blink and you miss it: After Wilhelm has nervously texted his crush for the first time, he starts to bite his fingernails, but quickly stops himself, because why would he be nervous? He's just texting another boy about rowing practice, there's nothing more to it!

Subtext: Simon's texting game is on point though, he knows exactly what he should write to get Wilhelm to go on a totally-not-a-date with him.

Subtext: In the same way that August couldn't convince the counselor about being sick, I don't think Wilhelm's atrocious acting here convinces August that he's sick either.

Culture: Public transport in the greater Stockholm area - or wherever we're supposed to be - is of course cash-less, and you pay by either charging a special card, or by signing up in their app and buying tickets through there. The point of this scene though is to drive home how Wilhelm has never ever had to take the bus before in his life, and therefore has no idea how it works.

Culture: The totally-not-a-date starts at a Circle K, which in Sweden is just another gas station, but it is actually a Canadian multi-national convenience store corporation. The price of gas is of course posted in kr/l, and 13.98kr/l corresponds to roughly $6/gal.

Subtext: Throughout the totally-not-a-date, Wilhelm is trying to reach for common ground with Simon, trying to show him how he's just a regular guy...

Subtext: ...but then real life intrudes, Wilhelm is recognized by some local girls, who call out to him and run away giggling, which shows how he's not a regular guy, he's going to get recognized wherever he goes.

Culture: Kokt eller grillat, boiled or grilled, are the two ways you can get your hot-dog at pretty much any hot-dog place in Sweden, and ketchup and mustard is always offered. The correct answer to this question is of course grilled, with ketchup and mustard, and this just shows that Wilhelm is a man of culture and good taste. Unfortunately, they were out grilled ones, so they all got boring soggy boiled hot-dogs instead. Is there a metaphor here? I don't know.

Subtext: Again, the show drives home the point that absolutely no-one has a problem with people being gay. Simon is clearly out to Ayub and the rest of his friends, and Ayub immediately picks up on the fact that this is totally a date.

Blink and you miss it: Ayub nudges Simon with his elbow to tell him that he should make a move on Wilhelm.

Culture: What we're looking at is just the local junior/high school football team, Bjärstad, playing a match against some other unnamed junior football team. Since the stakes are super low, the audience basically consists of whichever parents and friends of the players that could be bothered showing up.

Culture: Driving age is 18 in Sweden, and even then getting your own car at that age is extremely uncommon. However, you can easily get a license for a moped when you turn 15, so these are the vehicles of choice for teenagers to get around.

Subtext: August found out about Wilhelm's trip to town, but his main problem with it is that he wants Wilhelm to stop slumming it with lower class people, and to start hanging out with everyone at school instead, so that he can be properly accultured into the upper class. Again, sosse in this context means working class, not socialist.

Subtext: Although Simon felt really great about his first date with Wilhelm, the text message reminds him that Wilhelm isn't a regular person, and that even this innocent little trip generates interest and scrutiny, and can't be posted publicly.

Culture: As everyone should have noticed by now, Madison keeps speaking English, while everyone speaks to her in Swedish, so clearly she understands it. But here she gives her motivation for sticking to English, and that is that she doesn't feel she's good enough at speaking Swedish. Boarding schools like Hillerska attracts international students that have some kind of connection to the country, so a likely scenario is that Madison grew up in the US with a Swedish parent, and she's being sent here to experience Swedish culture and get immersed in the language to learn it better.

Cinematography: This shot of August drives really home all the pressure he is under, he's out of drugs, the headmistress just hinted that he's out of money, and he's literally being weighed down by books and work-out weights.

Subtext: Simon has kept his visits to Micke a secret from Sara, so here he has to intervene to make sure August doesn't accidentally reveal this to her. He also wants to protect his sister, so he's redirecting August's search for drugs onto himself.

Subtext: And on the flipside, Simon isn't really telling his dad that Sara still hates him and really doesn't want to see him, so he's vague when Micke asks about Sara and Linda.

Culture: Finally a bottle of medicine where we can read the label! Unfortunately for Simon, this is Tramadol, an opiate prescribed for pain relief, which is the complete opposite of the kind of drugs August wants.

Subtext: If you haven't figured out yet that this episode is about class journeys, August spells it out for us here. However, the reason he's "congratulating" Simon in front of everybody is because Simon just supplied him with more drugs, so this is his way of thanking him, since he can't really pay him.

Blink and you miss it: For a split second, Wilhelm grabs Simon's leg during the scary scene.

Subtext: The entire dialogue of the movie works as subtext for what's actually going on between Wilhelm and Simon at this point, and Wilhelm is getting a little freaked out by this sneaky display of affection.

Subtext: The movie also puts words on the implications of Wilhelm getting together with a boy, what about having kids in the future? Can you carry on your family name and traditions, or will they die with you?

Lost in translation: The plaque actually says "FEEL YOUR RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE HERITAGE". Even though the plaque means the heritage and legacy of the school itself, Wilhelm is thinking about his legacy, his heritage, and how getting together with Simon would threaten that.

Lost in translation: Wilhelm actually says "jag är inte en..." - "I'm not a..." before he stops himself. So it's not possible that he was trying to say "I'm not gay", because that doesn't work grammatically in Swedish either. He could be trying to say "I'm not a guy like that" or "I'm not a guy who likes guys", that would work.

Cinematography: The framing and silhouetting of this shot is just chef's kiss. The outline of their hair allows us to see who is who, and we can see from their poses that Simon is welcoming a kiss, while Wilhelm is still hesitating.

#young royals #young royals subtext #young royals analysis

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freddiekluger · 4 years ago

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please drop the essay length analysis Judas and Jesus (extra gay Swedish edition), O great and knowledgeable monarch of our times

alright, you ask i deliver! please excuse any typos, my eyes aren't exactly working rn

welcome to my probably super subjective but correct analysis, aka

Judas Was Right and Jesus Was A Victim (At Least, In Swedish)

Before we get started, a couple points: i’ll try to avoid comparisons to other specific productions, i’ve only seen the other recorded 2012 british version which i didn’t like for reasons including but not limited to the amount of white people with dreadlocks. Also, my understanding of swedish is limited to a couple words and phrases, so most of the lyrics i reference will be english subtitles from Ola Salo’s swedish translation and therefore might not be the most accurate !

There’s so much i could cover in this, but for now i’m going to focus on how jesus and judas are portrayed in the 2014 swedish arena tour of Jesus Christ Superstar (JCS) starring Ola Salo as Jesus and Peter Johansson as Judas, along with how this production more implicitly views god.

From the opening number, translated into swedish as En Dimmig Himmelsdröm (A Foggy Heaven’s Dream), Peter Johansson’s acting and semantic differences in the lyrics present us with a deeply sympathetic portrayal of Judas. Looking purely at language, the english equivalent Heaven On Their Minds instantly paints Judas as much more of a faithless doubter- lyrics exclusive to the english version like “all your followers have gone blind / too much heaven on their minds” and “they think you’re the new messiah / and they’ll hurt you when they find they’re wrong” strongly enforce Judas’ main motivation for his actions being that he has less belief in Jesus and God’s plan than any of the other disciples with strong statements judging the other disciples for following him and claiming that Jesus ISN’T the messiah. The swedish translation doesn’t paint exactly the same picture- the focus of Judas’ number becomes his fear for Jesus’ wellbeing, not because he isn’t the messiah (the production remains fairly ambiguous on this point), but because Jesus can’t cope. The root of Judas’ concern comes from fear for Jesus’ wellbeing, and the disciples are referenced as regularly misunderstanding and wilfully twisting Jesus’ words. The swedish equivalent lyrics for the above examples are “they say, “jesus is god’s son” / but you know how people can change” (judas isn’t concerned with truth, just the danger that jesus will be in if the tide turns), and “the kingdom of heaven is within us, that’s what you said / bu they sew it, stitch by stich into some kind of foggy heaven’s dream”. Judas is showing that he HAS been listening and cares for Jesus’ teachings, but ‘they’ [his disciples] are turning them into something else entirely, and Judas’ worries that the support of the masses is fragile at best- the lines “and everything you say gets twisted by your lackeys / it will be anything but what you’ve said” and “you are being used by people who want you in their battle” reinforces this again. When combined with Peter Johansson’s tough but tender performance, in which he dances between disdain for Jesus, the institution, and affection for Jesus, the man (an important distinction), Judas is the harsh realist doing his best to look out for the man he loves. The way he takes Jesus hands and looks at him with love and urgency straight away establishes that his motivations are pure- Judas is doing what he thinks is best, even though it feels like no one will listen to him.

That was long, but En Dimmig Himmelsdröm is the perfect character introduction for Judas. He’s not totally unrecognisable, still delivering digs about ‘Jesus, the little carpenter’s son’, his manner is still rough and at this point we’re not sure whether or not the claims he makes about the disciples have any truth to them, BUT we can also see how much Jesus means to him, an important point that give context to the intensity of their future arguments and really makes the whole story much more heartbreaking.

This brings me to Ola Salo’s Jesus. Delightfully camp and queercoded, Judas describes him as being caught up in his own magic and mystery and buckling under the pressure, and he’s not entirely wrong. Throughout the first act, Jesus basks in the luxuries that being messiah can give him (the oils Mary paid for using disciple funds that were supposed to go towards helping the poor, him absolutely thriving in the shopping cart in What’s the Buzz?), and is shown actively avoiding any reminders of the seriousness of his position. He’s sick of the disciples asking him for a plan, he chooses the comforting Mary, who’s theme consists of telling Jesus everything is okay and he doesn’t need to think about anything, over Judas, who is less perhaps ‘cosy’ but is actively trying to warn and protect Jesus from an awful fate. During The Temple, he starts to crack as he’s overcome by the followers begging him to make him well, fear in his eyes as he raises his arms while frozen on the spot trying to avoid being devoured by the frenzy in desperate need of a messiah. Judas’ point about Jesus buckling under the pressure is starting to look more and more reasonable, and the dashes of showbiz campness add to the sense that much of Jesus is a persona constructed for the masses to give himself enough distance to prevent him from being crushed by the weight of God entirely. Jesus, the institution, prances around, lays his hands on his followers, and projects an air of easygoing calm. Jesus, the man, is scared and alone, and Jesus, the man, really comes out in Last Supper, but before we get there, I want to circle back to the Jesus/Mary/Judas thing.

Jesus, Mary, and Judas are presented as a love triangle: so much so, that Judas seeing Mary sing of her love for Jesus (I Don’t Know How To Love Him) is actually played as the inciting incident that sends him to the pharisees. Judas, the picture of the jealous lover, storms onto the scene, breaking them up and attempting to kiss Jesus, who instead shoves him to the ground in disdain. Judas, who is perhaps a little controlling, realises that any influence he had over Jesus has gone, and it’s likely a combination of jealousy and the knowledge that Jesus won’t stop that prompts him to head to the pharisees. In his meeting with the pharisees (known in english as Damned For All Time, although that phrase doesn’t appear once in the swedish), Judas’ expresses outright that “I’m the one who sees / Jesus, he can’t handle it anymore” “the truth is that this hysteria is making him lose control”, once he can get past explaining how much this plan of action feels like a last resort. He never even verbally or physically accept the pharisees’ offer of money, he denies it twice before it is eventually thrown over him after he reluctantly gives them the date and time to find Jesus- we never even see him pick it up, unlike other productions which show Judas grabbing for the cash and place a higher emphasis on Judas making sure he ‘won’t be damned for all time’, painting Judas as far more self serving. When it comes to Jesus, Judas is active- he’s running around trying to help, caressing him, embracing him, grabbing his hand, kissing him. They share countless moment of intimacy, especially at the start, establishing the fondness between them instead of instantly jumping to their conflict. When it comes to Mary (and admittedly, this is partially because she’s a secondary character- don’t get me wrong I still love her and Gunilla Backman does a brilliant job), she’s much more passive. Other than the much more gentle kisses in I Don’t Know How To Love Him and her penchant for dabbing Jesus’ forehead, she’s mostly just ‘there’. She cares for Jesus after the fact, and even when performing acts of intimacy like the oil and the kiss, she maintains a lot of physical distance- her songs touch on this as, much like Jesus (admittedly for different reasons), she actively distances herself from feelings to protect herself, so naturally she literally places distance between herself and the object of her love.

This brings me back to Last Supper, Gethsemane ( I Only Want to Say), and the kiss of death that broke all of our hearts. Throughout this segment, this is when Jesus, the man, really comes through, and it’s devastating. In Last Supper, he properly expresses the sheer amount of loneliness he feels, reiterating how he feels everyone will forget about him once he’s gone, and doesn’t really care about him as a man (”for you, my blood is not worth more than wine / for you, my body is not worth more than bread” “you will have forgotten me as soon as i give up my life”). This devolves into the disciples fighting each other and, you guessed it, ignoring him. For the first time, Jesus meaningfully lets out his anger, and as it turns to Judas, Judas does the same. Because of the set up of their complicated romantic relationship and the stakes involved, the amount of personal attacks and anger that comes out of Jesus and Judas’ repeated fights (which get physical) make complete sense- Jesus’ frustrations come from the fact that his entire fate has been predetermined and to him, Judas is just another instrument in the ways he’s been controlled (both with Judas being his betrayer, but also the way that Judas’ constant advice and interference with Jesus’ life (most obviously, the mary thing) are acted by Ola Salo as becoming increasingly frustrating to Jesus)- these frustrations are directed at their real cause, God, in Gethsemane. Judas’ frustrations come from the fact that no matter how hard he tries to help Jesus and keep him safe, Jesus keeps rejecting his efforts resulting in “all that we’ve built up [being] destroyed”- Judas’ heart hasn’t just been broken by Jesus rejecting him romantically, but on every level. Here, he’s actually shown to be the disciple most passionate about helping people practically and long term, being the only one concerned about Mary taking money which was supposed to help people, manipulated by the pharisees with the promise of doing good for the masses, and criticising Jesus for how they could be doing so much for people, ending his part of Last Supper with “every time i look at you i ask myself why you let all your things go so wrong? / all i ever wanted was to help you”.

This is also the point where Judas’ claims about the disciples are essentially confirmed, and this productions intent to portray Judas as more of a tragic hero become absolutely clear. In the english version, the disciples chorus remains virtually the same each time it appears, generally being far too calm considering their leader is about to die, revealing their aspirations to be apostles, and their intent to write the gospels to be remembered. the swedish translation still achieve this, but with variations from chorus to chorus it becomes much more poignant. i’m just going to stick to ttwo, which are choruses 1 and 3. In chorus 1, lines roughly translate to “i’ve always wanted to be an apostle / life is so nice when you’re saved/ then when we’ve got time we’ll write the gospels / then everything will be the way we want”- the apostles declaring that life is so good when you’re saved supports Judas’ opening statement that they care more about some idea of heaven than anything else, not to mention ignoring the absolute horrors that Jesus will have to go through to be saved, while the final line about the gospels introduces their intent to change whichever details they need to make ‘everything the way we want’: once again, exactly what Judas warned us of in En Dimmig Himmelsdröm. In chorus 3, taking place after Judas storms out for the last time, these lines change to “never really liked that judas / never saw what jesus saw in him / then, when we’ve got time we’ll write the gospels / and we’ll angle it so he gets all the blame”. Judas as a sympathetic character is confirmed here, as the disciples straight up admit how they don’t like Judas anyways and intend to write him as a villain (also inadvertently admitting that, since they have to write the gospels to make it look like only Judas’ fault, Judas isn’t really the sole one responsible for everything that is to come). It’s deeply unsettling, and for me was the point where I really began to question how good any of these disciples were, and by extension, how good is this production’s God if his truly sanctified followers are acting like this?

Jesus vents out all of his anger and desperation in Gethsemane. He acknowledges his own powerlessness and begs him to change the plan, but with the dark stage and no response (along with Ola Salo’s spectacular acting) it becomes clear that if anyone is there, they’re certainly not listening (”you, who have all the power / can you please change the plan / for i can already feel the pain burning in me”). It’s worth mentioning that a lot of the imagery in this swedish version is much more intense than the english, both in this song and the production as a whole. Jesus plainly calls god “thoughtless”, begging to understand, and it’s that this point we realise that he agrees with much more of what Judas has been saying than he’s been letting on- Jesus’ faith appears to be the only thing keeping him from listening to Judas and running away. Judas’ messages about people misunderstanding Jesus’ words also come out (”you care that everyone sees / but not that anyone understands”), and his eventual agreeing to die is played less as an inspiring act of faith, and more an act of desperation as he realises, he realise has no other choice. In this song, we see just how much of Judas Jesus has valued and taken on board, and that his air of carefree aloofness which frustrated Judas was, as we’ve already touched on, a complete act. The line “might as well finish what i’ve... what YOU’VE started” is absolutely miserable, reinforcing one of the major themes of this production: the idea that Jesus and Judas were both just ordinary men tormented by futures defined by forces out of their control. Just as Jesus has absorbed Judas’ logic, as an audience so we have, and it’s difficult to view the rest of the play’s events as anything other than an immense and unnecessary act of cruelty.

we’re almost done i promise!

Even knowing what Judas has/will do, Jesus still greets him with love. Judas, still under the impression that Jesus will be okay and that he’s doing what’s best, approaches him with the utmost tenderness, and the kiss is a beautiful signifier of two things. For Jesus, the return of his love for Judas shows his realisation in Gethsemane that Judas isn’t the one who’s sealed his fate and has only being trying to help, it’s god himself who has decided Jesus’ future. For Judas, the kiss shows that despite all of the anger and frustration that has been pouring out of him, he truly does love Jesus, and the way he cradles the scared and alone Jesus to his chest afterwards shows just how much he wishes he could be the one to help him and keep him close. Even with all their arguments and dysfunction, here Jesus and Judas find comfort in each other, and it almost seems like everything will end up alright. It’s in this moment that Judas and Jesus are most identifiable not as enemies, or as villain and hero, but as archetypal lovers from a Shakespearean tragedy. Neither of them set out to hurt each other, but through miscommunications, their own flaws, and external forces (both natural and supernatural), their love is simply never to be. Furthermore, in the following torture and spectacle, everything that Judas predicted for Jesus is about to come true. Another detail I find interesting is the way that Jesus and Judas both sport black nail polish, leather pants, and similar length hair: along with just looking cool as hell, the similarities really reinforce how close they are and how much they influence each other- it feels like a contemporary version of carrying a cameo or a lock of your lover's hair with you, a way for 'star crossed lovers' to keep a piece of their beloved no matter what.

The disaffected persona of Jesus, the institution, comes back as he’s taken by the authorities and subsequently insulted, degraded, and whipped. Also the swedish version of The Arrest, when the chorus starts singing questions, contains this dick joke and I think we all deserve it: “why were you dating a whore? / talk about a huge magic wand!”

Skipping forward to Judas’ Death, this is where both his character and the production’s conception of god beautifully (and miserably) align. When Judas runs to the pharisees, minor semantic changes (along with the genuine concern and great acting from Peter Johansson) reinforce that this Judas genuinely didn’t know that Jesus would be beaten and sentenced to death the way he has been, and Judas’ concern regarding how things look is played less as ‘oh no people will hate ME!’, but how having sentenced the man you love to death is one nightmarish thing, but for everyone to think you did it knowingly and willingly and then congratulate you for it is unthinkable. Where the english shows Judas’ attempting to evade responsibility for Jesus death, the swedish is more focused on Judas’ guilt, horror, and regret. The english “I’d save him all the suffering if I could / don’t believe our good / save him if I could” is swapped in swedish for “If anyone should die here I should / don’t say I’m good / better if I died”. While the english statements are somewhat empty (sure, Judas says he’d save Jesus’ suffering if he could, but he can’t so we’ll never truly know) and are still focused on Judas’ attempt to construct himself as a good guy, the swedish translation has Judas admit his guilt (even if it’s not really his fault), and make the promise of “better if i died” which, given the name of this sequence, he later delivers on. When english Judas sings “Christ, I’d sell out the nation / For I have been saddled with the murder of you”, swedish Judas sings “Jesus, I’ve been deceived / because of my act your blood’s now being spilt”, and instead of ending this first section with “I should be dragged through the slime and the mud”, swedish jesus returns to the theme of character assasination with “i will be cursed as the one behind your murder”.

The swedish translation of the next rework of I Don’t Know How to Love Him also places much more emphasis on Judas’ genuine romantic love for Jesus- we’d be here for hours if i listed everything but here are a few key contrasts. The english has Judas sing “I don’t know how to love him / I don’t know why he moves me”, whereas the swedish has Judas crying while singing “how do I show my love / all I want is to be close to you”. Along with acknowledging Judas already loves Jesus, the entirety of this segment is shifted from Judas singing about Jesus in the third person ‘he’, to a direct address. Judas isn’t performing his sadness, or venting his emotions, he’s emitting one last desperate cry to the man he loves as he sobs on a stage completely shrouded in darkness, and it’s devastating. Peter Johansson lets his voice run raw as he’s belting, and interrupts lines with sobs, and this Judas answers the question of “do you love me too? do you care for me?” with a quiet “no”- Judas is about to go to his death convinced Jesus must hate him, just as Jesus will face his knowing his love inadvertently put him there.

We finally reach Judas’ actual death, and the production’s far more ambiguous (if not negatively geared) depiction of god comes to a head. Judas’ screaming at god the moment he realises that his god essentially forced Judas to be the one to kill Jesus (an act of ultimate cruelty given their love) comes across as horrifying in it’s validity, unlike in other english language productions where it follows the more common characterisation of Judas being an unbeliever who can’t take responsibility for his own actions. When he spits on the ground, screaming “you have murdered me!”, we can’t help but agree- Judas was trying everything he could to stop Jesus from dying, and yet here he is. Most notably, Judas doesn’t set up his own suicide- a noose literally descends from the heavens, already tied, and Judas is literally trapped between the edge of the stage, and the symbol of death behind him. Much like he didn’t choose to kill Jesus, Judas has no choice in his own suicide- it’s suggested to merely be another part of the plan god has for him, and Judas raising his arms to form a crucifixion pose before he finally turns and jumps, disappearing into the depths of the theatre as the rope trails down (somewhat evocative of a leap to hell), highlight the sick joke. Much like Jesus begging in Gethsemane, a plea with god that in anyway implies fault or cruelty is met with silence followed by a death sentence.

When Judas reappears to the broken and bloodied Jesus in Superstar, he appears as more of a twisted hallucination than the literal spirit of Judas. He’s the opposite of everything he was in life, draped in colour, surrounded by red lighting instead of the signature blue, his hair quite literally let down, joking and dancing. Despite singing about him, Judas virtually ignores Jesus for the whole song except when he’s taunting him, snatching his hand away after a broken and desperate Jesus reaches out for the image of his beloved (refuting Judas’ belief that Jesus would die hating him), along with the swedish additions of Judas repeatedly addressing him as “little Jesus”. Where the living Judas was serious, sometimes harsh but always well intention, often paying more attention to Jesus than he received, this Judas is the opposite: light hearted but cruel, not caring about Jesus one bit. It’s somewhat an inversion of the beginning of JCS, where the tormented Judas was constantly reaching out to Jesus, and often met with scorn and insult (see: most of their arguments, this line from Everything’s Alright: “the thought is beautiful but quite unrealistic / yes, even quite stupid”). As the song goes on, and even as Jesus is crucified, the victorious scoring of the Superstar theme ends up reinforcing the cruelty and questioning of god distinctive of this production: Ola Salo’s Jesus is one of the bloodiest Jesus’s (Jesii?) I’ve been able to find, with blood covering his torso, his arms, and all over his face, not in passive dribbles, but violent ‘swooshes’ spreading out from his eyes, emphasising the fear and pain contained within them. As the music suggests how great and wonderful Jesus’ death is, the images straight out of a horror movie before us don’t seem to match up: as both Judas and Jesus question, if no one is understanding what Jesus is saying, why kill him? instead of making a point, you’re ensuring that the falsehoods continue to circulate, unless spreading the true message isn’t really the intent at all. or, simply that Jesus was wrong: his interpretation and teachings of god were far too kind and practical, and the true god really is the one that he briefly saw in the garden of Gethsemane, and that Judas saw before his death- a cruel and vindictive god using them for his own sick purposes. If you're a strong Christian, I'm sure you could watch this production and still believe that God was right (although I think Jesus and Judas being in love counts as blasphemy), but I think in doing so you'd lose part of what makes this production so hard hitting and, as i keep saying, devastating.

that’s pretty much it for this one! i feel like jesus and judas as a queer couple is less significant to this production than the fact that it’s specifically jesus and judas that are in love - they don’t face explicit homophobia as such, although i do think the paratextual and historical associations of queerness (both with them each looking visibly queer, and them as a couple) adds a beautiful dimension by subverting the standard christian teaching of Jesus’ sacrifice as “a love that changed the world” and making the love that truly could have been transformative (and was, to a degree) the love between Jesus and another man, not to mention the way in which queerness is often viewed as radical perfectly upholding the ‘radical’ views of god and the story of Jesus shown in the production. Why wouldn’t the love between two men be the love which has us questioning god, faith, and that which many of us have been taught since birth? Ola Salo has talked about how he’s able to be positive and negative towards christianity, along with how he wanted Jesus and Judas to really represent two sides of the same coin (’faith and intelligence’), and being bisexual along with having alluded to being raised christian (not to mention Breaking Up With God, a song by his band The Ark), it’s not surprising he’s managed to present such a nuanced and layered interpretation of Jesus Christ Superstar that even me, a trans exvangelical, can fall in love with.

UPDATE: @bands-and-hobbits has just let me know that Ola's dad was a priest! Apparently he's said that he liked the organs and the music, but that was all when it comes to christianity, which (when combined with Ola stating in interviews that the JCS soundtrack has been one of his favourite albums since he was 14) makes a lot of sense about the level of familiarity he had with the text giving him confidence to go in and make changes to really capitalised off of some of the themes that are hinted at in the english version- you have enough information to understand how everything works together, but aren't so dedicated to preserving belief that you feel you can't improve/change things (and my god are we glad he did)

#thank you if you made it this far!#also the inherent rhythm in swedish as a language just makes all of the songs sound better i'm gonna say it #english is really hit and miss when it comes to music and can get especially clunky with musicals requiring exposition #also sorry there's so much i've left out !#anyways enjoy #jesus christ superstar #jesus christ superstar swedish arena tour 2014 #jcs #peter johansson #ola salo #also i have barely edited this so i hope it's coherent

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justletmeplayminecraft · 4 years ago

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Okay but while newer hermits weren't deliberately taught Ender, some of them still made a point to learn.

One time, a few months into season 6, after Grian and Mumbo had become pretty good friends, something happened.

To deviate for a second, it's an observable phenomenon that multilinguals will almost always revert to their first language when startled, since their mind is in monkey brain self preservation mode and doesn't have the faculties to spare on translation.

So there's a point when Grian pranks Mumbo, and it catches the spoon completely off guard and activates his fight or flight reflex.

There's a loud vwoop and a screeching that Grian can't understand, but immediately recognises as the same as a distressed endermen makes, and suddenly Mumbo is on the roof; his eyes blazing purple and his body language hunched and defensive.

After Mumbo calms down (Grian gets him to explain simple redstone circuits, building them as he does. He knows how calming a simple routine can be.) the inevitable conversation happens. Mumbo is apologetic for not telling his mate earlier, but Grian doesn't really mind.

For the rest of the season, Grian throws himself into learning Ender, with Iskall joining him after the formation of the Architechs, with the goal of being able to carry a conversation by the start of season 7.

Mumbo is very touched by the effort, even though Grian's accent is absolutely awful, and Iskall still gets tripped up over some sounds (not that he's surprised, the Swedish is very strong in the guy and that tends to make certain phonetics awkward)

I think, in fact, Iskall might attempt to learn it first. He meets Mumbo after joining in S4, awkward and nervous about the new hermits, and decides 'I'm going to befriend that.' It's been some time since they had a group like this join, all of them knowing each other beforehand. And although Python and Ren are obviously non-human, Mumbo can't help but be a little wary of the newcomers.

The fact Iskall's attempts to befriend him absolutely terrify him at first does Not Help.

Iskall is loud, an extrovert to his very core. He makes his presence known, demands attention with his loud laughter and big ideas. In fact, at first, he just makes Mumbo uncomfortable. Mumbo doesn't really know how to meet that level, the idea of being in the spotlight makes him nervous. Iskall's attempts at eye contact don't really help. And Iskall, bless him, can't really put two and two together to figure out the reason.

So, metaphorical tail between his legs, he asks for help.

Xisuma tells him to be quieter, start with a conversation, maybe. Cleo tells him that if he hurts Mumbo she'll break his legs. False mentions he doesn't like eye contact. Eventually, it's Joe who suggests learning Ender.

It does not go well, but Iskall certainly tries. He struggles with player-speak at the best of times, coming from a place with a different native tongue. For some of the sounds, it helps. For others, they're near impossible to pronounce. But they work on it, Iskall determined to do something nice for Mumbo. Joe is a patient teacher, Iskall learns. In return for Iskall teaching Joe some of his own language, of course.

So, when Iskall is finally confident enough to try, he approaches carefully, waving at Mumbo first. Doesn't look into his eyes. And only once he gets a wave in return does he attempt, 'How are you?' in Ender.

Mumbo bursts out laughing.

After a lot of confused noises, Iskall arm waving, and Mumbo trying to hide his laughter behind his hands, Mumbo finally admits it just sounded terrible. So bad it's laughable. Mumbo tries to take Iskall through the pronunciation again, sound by sound, but ends up laughing more at Iskall's attempts. And Iskall, despite himself, ends up laughing too.

From garbled Ender and a lot of dedication, a friendship is born.

Did Joe teach him the wrong pronunciations on purpose? You can't prove anything.

Grian though... That is absolutely how it goes down and I love it. Those two are a complete mess. It's brilliant. Iskall's pronunciation hasn't improved much since then, but the three of them have a lot of fun once they have a better grasp of the language. There's nothing like Mumbo screeching 'Hermit Challenges!' in Ender at someone as he launches out of the sky.

#hc #grian #mumbo #iskall #ask #i need to watch s4 jkjgfs #also don't take this as me not liking your idea! i love it sm!#i just think iskall can be developed a bit more #ender!mumbo #my writing #long #long post #scarred-but-still-smiling

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puckinghell · 4 years ago

Text

Why (Won’t You Love Me) | Elias Pettersson

Summary: Time and time again, Elias watches you get your heart broken by guys who aren’t worth your effort, and he just can’t help but wonder why you can’t love him instead. Words: 3,5k Note: Based on the 5sos song with the same name.

There’s a glow on the pavement, fresh from the rain. Dark clouds are still packed together in the sky when they arrive at the plane, but the rain is mere drizzle now, and Elias doesn’t bother with an umbrella as he hauls his bag over his shoulder.

Brock, of course, has the hood of his jumper pulled tight around his face, and he looks absolutely miserable. Normally Elias would tease him – probably something about his hair – but today he’s not in the mood.

He’s pretty miserable himself.

“Petey, hey.” Brock runs to catch up to him, as they approach the plane. Elias should’ve known Brock would notice: his best friend always seems to know when he shouldn’t be alone. “What’s up, dude?”

Elias huffs out an indignant sound that’s not resembling any English words, and not really any Swedish ones, either. He pulls his eyebrows together in a frown and makes a frustration motion with his hand.

“Y/N…” he says, your name falling off his lips a little rough. “She’s having guy trouble.”

“Ah,” Brock says, like he understands. He probably does.

It’s not the first time Elias is in a mood because of your ‘guy trouble’.

Now it’s not really fair to you, he knows that. You’re not actually aware of the fact that you’re hurting him, by talking about other guys, so he can’t hold it against you.

It’s just…

“Why won’t she love me?” he finally says, as they stand in front of the stairs to the plane, waiting for the others to go in first.

There’s no use pretending, not with Brock. Brock knows him better than anyone and he knows how far gone for you Elias is, how much it hurts that you don’t feel the same way.

Brock shrugs. “She loves you,” he says, but he doesn’t sound quite so sure.

“Not like that.” Elias can’t help sounding a little mopey, and Brock slaps his hard across the back to show his support, in the way that bros do, sometimes.

“Sorry, man,” he says, and he sounds genuinely remorseful.

Elias met you right after he arrived in Vancouver, and he knows it’s cliché to say, but he immediately knew that you were it for him. You made him laugh with some snarky remark at a rude customer in the coffee shop, and that was it. He was sold.

It’s not become anything but friendship, though. And sure, it’s a friendship Elias holds dear to his heart, but he’s not afraid to admit he’s always wanted it to be more. It’s just, he’s never been able to find the words to tell you that.

In the beginning, he blamed his lack of English, but now he knows it’s just you.

You render him speechless. When you look at him with bright eyes, when you say his name. And whenever he thinks about telling you, and thinks about the look of pity on your face and how you would say “Elias…” like you’re the bearer of bad news, he feels like his throat has swollen to the point where talking is impossible.

So he says nothing. But he hates himself for it, every time you sit on his couch and tell him about your failed dating endeavours.

He sits down and takes his phone, to put it on airplane mode. Brock is humming under his breath next to him, and it’s distracting enough that he nearly misses the text notification.

Nearly, but not quite.

Sorry for crying on your shoulder again the text reads.

Elias thinks back to last night, when you’d showed up at his apartment, nearly in tears because the guy you’d gone on a few dates with had cancelled your date and said he’d rather be friends.

“When they say that, they never actually wanna be friends, Petey,” you’d sighed, your bottom lip trembling.

And he’d pulled you inside, parked you on the couch and made you tea, and then you’d watched MasterChef together, your body curled into his, until you weren’t so sad anymore.

He always tried everything to stop you from being sad, and he usually succeeded, too. Taking care of you is one of the things he’s best at, in his opinion.

“I guess finding a decent guy to love around here is just too much to ask,” you’d said, after at least an hour of comfortable silence. “Well, at least I’ve got you, right?”

And Elias had to bite his lip so hard he can still feel where it’s sore, only to stop himself from asking:

Why won’t you love me, instead?

He stares at your text now. Behind it, his background is still visible: a picture of him and you, that he likes to look at when the road is a little too lonely.

“You gotta turn it off, Pete,” Brock says, and that’s when Elias notices the plane is already about to take off.

He quickly texts back “No worries” and switches his phone to airplane mode. The glass of the little round window is cold against his cheek when he leans against it.

It’s gonna be a long road trip.

The bar isn’t busy, but there’s a constant hum of chatter around you, and you try to use that to quiet your mind.

It doesn’t really work.

You’re a few drinks in, and there’s tears burning behind your eyes.

Normally, you would’ve called Elias. But now you don’t feel like you should, anymore.

Elias has been different, since he got back from what felt like the longest road trip in history. He’s been dodging your calls, not texting as much, and you have only seen him once since he got back a week ago, which is not normal for you two.

If you knew why he’s been avoiding you, you could fix it.

But you have no idea.

“Excuse me, can I borrow this chair?” a voice asks. A girl has her hand on the empty chair opposite you, and she smiles at you when you look up.

You open your mouth: something inside of you says no, but you know that’s ridiculous. This is a table for one, tonight.

“Sure.”

It’s not like that guy is gonna show up three hours after he was supposed to.

It’s not your supposed-to-be-date, that you’re thinking about though. Maybe you should be sad about him, because he just stood you up, but instead you’re thinking back to the last time you saw Elias, when he’d just come back. They had won two out of three road games, so he’d been in a good mood, and when you went to his house for pizza and Netflix he’d been chatty and filled with laughter all evening.

His good mood dimmed, when you mentioned you had a date planned.

“Do you know this guy?” he’d asked, and there was a hint of judgement in his voice that instantly got you defensive.

“No, my friend set us up,” you said. “But it’s not like I have a choice, Elias. Time is slipping away from me, and I can’t just sit here and wait for the love of my life to show up while everyone is getting married. It’s no fun being lonely.”

“No,” Elias had said, a strange look on his face. “It’s not fun.”

You would’ve asked him what he meant by that – surely he wasn’t lonely, being Elias Pettersson in Vancouver – but there was something about him that stopped you.

For the first time since you met him, it felt like there was a wall up between you, and it felt like for every stone the wall was made off there was a matching stone in the pit of your stomach.

It felt like you did something wrong, but you can’t put your finger on what. You hadn’t lied to him, although it hadn’t quite been the full truth either. You can’t tell him the full truth, because the full truth is too pathetic.

The full truth, of course, being that when your other best friend Liza got engaged, you realized that everyone had someone, except for you. You just had Elias, and that has always been enough: until you sat there staring at the giant diamond on Liza’s finger and realized that Elias was never going to feel that way about you.

He’s your best friend, and although you’d want him to be everything, if he was interested in more, he would’ve done something by now. And so you decided you had to stop waiting for someone who would never love you like that, and find someone who would.

You haven’t found that person, yet, and you haven’t gotten over Elias either.

You look at your phone now. It’s 2am, and you probably shouldn’t call him, but…

But it’s Elias. He’s your best friend and you know he cares for you, even if he is mad about something.

You just got stood up, and it’s late, and you’ve had a bit too much to drink, and you don’t really want to have to walk yourself home…

“You can always call me if you need anything,” Elias said all the time. “Even in the middle of the night.”

So you call him.

There’s no answer. There’s no answer the next time, or the next, either.

You throw some money on the table. It’s time to take yourself home: after all, you’ve always been able to take care of yourself. There’s no reason for this burning feeling behind your eyes.

He’s just a friend.

The next morning, there’s two texts waiting for you when you wake up.

3 missed calls? Everything OK?

Sorry I missed them. Have to go to practice now, talk later.

There’s no smileys, no familiar XO’s that Elias has been using since Brock forced him to watch Gossip Girl, no love you at the end.

So that’s how you know something is really wrong.

Creating some distance between you is harder than Elias had thought.

“She hates me,” he grumbles. It’s probably not the right time to do this, in the middle of practice, but he’s been distracted and since this is all Brock’s fault, he figures he should just say that.

“She doesn’t,” Brock says. “Also, how is this my fault?”

Elias leans on his stick. They’re both waiting until it’s their turn to do the drill. Jake skates past, shoots on Marky. Scores.

“You said I needed some distance. You said to put my phone on airplane mode every now and then. Last night she called me three times and I didn’t answer, and now she hates me.”

Brock rolls his eyes, ever so slightly: but enough for Elias to see, and he glares at his best friend.

He feels a little vindicated when Brock flushes red and shuffles a little away from Elias.

“Look, bud, I said that because you’ve been miserable.” Brock’s face is gentle. “But since this is clearly not working, have you thought about just talking to her?”

He has thought about that. A lot.

“Absolutely not,” Elias says. “She’s not interested in me, she’s made that clear by dating half of Vancouver.”

Brock laughs. “I didn’t know Vancouver had 6 people living in it.”

“Shut up.” But there’s no heat behind it, and Brock shuffles closer again.

“Petey.” He sounds remorseful. “You haven’t scored even once today. And Marky’s not even trying. You need to fix this.”

At that moment, his name gets called, so Elias shoves Brock aside and skates up to the puck, taking it with him towards the goal.

He shoots wide.

Fuck. Maybe he does have to do something about this.

Elias may have decided he needs to talk to you, but he sure as hell doesn’t have to do it right now. He’s allowed to go home and get changed first, because he’s not going to confess his love and get his heart broken while wearing a Canucks tracksuit.

Unfortunately, it ends up not really being his choice, because when he walks into the hallway of his apartment you’re sitting on the floor, leaning against his front door.

Elias stops dead at the end of the hallway.

You’re doing something on your phone, not noticing him right away. You look tired, and your hair is a mess, and it squeezes something in Elias’ heart.

You look… kinda like shit, and whereas Elias knows he probably doesn’t look much better himself, it’s worse when it’s you.

Suddenly, guilt washes over him like a tidal wave. You needed him last night, and he wasn’t there for you. It was 2 am when you called him: you could’ve been anywhere, anything could’ve happened, you could’ve gotten hurt.

Suddenly he’s walking, faster and faster, until he reaches you.

You look up, and when you see him, there’s a small smile curling at the edge of your lips. But you don’t look happy, and Elias’ worry only intensifies.

“Hey,” he says, reaching out his hand. You let him help you pull you to your feet, but then you drop his hand right away.

It stings.

“Can I come in?” you ask. Your voice is small and you’re fretting with the edge of your shirt.

“Of course.” Elias opens the door, lets you walk in first. Normally, you would kick off your shoes at the door and throw yourself on his couch, or immediately dive head first into his fridge. You don’t do that now, and it’s wrong: everything feels wrong, and Elias hates it.

If he could make it go back to the way it was, he would do anything for it to stay that way. He would ignore his feelings, he would push them away. He would answer the phone.

He wouldn’t hurt you like this.

“Are you okay?” he blurts out. He regrets it instantly, because your face falls even more.

He should’ve eased into it. He should’ve let you say what you came to say, first.

“I’m so sorry for not answering the phone,” he continues, helplessly, because you’re not saying anything and the silence is too much for him to take. “I put my phone on airplane mode and I shouldn’t have done that, you needed me and I should’ve been there for you and…”

“Elias.” Your voice is soft, but stern. Your hand reaches out, fingers curling around his wrist. “Calm down. I’m fine, nothing happened last night.”

Something heavy dissolves in the pit of Elias’ stomach, and for the first time that day, he feels like he can breathe.

“I’m just…” you pause, sigh. Then you stand a little taller, something determined settling over your features. “I just want to know what I did wrong.”

“Huh?” Elias can imagine he must be staring at you pretty blankly, but he truly just doesn’t get it. “What you did wrong?”

You roll your eyes. “Don’t play dumb. I know you’re mad at me. So tell me what I did wrong, so I can fix it.”

Elias can feel it: the energy shifting in the room. There’s something harsh in your eyes, and he knows you came here looking for resolve as much as you came here looking for a fight.

Fighting, he figures, is a way to feel things, too. But he’s not about to let you do that to yourself, especially when it’s his fault.

“Y/N,” he says, softly, and then he shakes his wrist out of your grip and takes your hand in his, instead. Your hand is cold, skin soft, and he immediately decides he wants to hold your hand for the rest of his life. “Come sit with me.”

You let him lead you to the couch, and sit down next to him, body turned away from his.

Once again, you’re sitting on his couch, on the verge of tears. But it’s different, this time. You’re not crying over guys that aren’t worth your time, you’re crying over him, over Elias, and he has to fix this one even more than he did all the other times.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Elias starts. This time, you don’t fight him on it. “It’s me, actually. I think I did something wrong.”

You look up. There’s a hint of fear in your eyes when you ask: “What?”

Elias sighs. It’s hard, to get out the words, even harder than he was worried about. He doesn’t know what to say, how to say it, or how to make you understand.

“I made a mistake,” he says, carefully. “I thought I needed some time away from you, but that wasn’t right.”

“Away from me?” The look of hurt on your face doesn’t pass by Elias. “Why?”

“Why?” Elias repeats. “Because it’s too hard sometimes. It’s too hard to hear you talking about all these guys you’re dating, and how they always hurt or disappoint you.”

Your eyes are fixed on the floor. “I don’t mean to be a bother,” you mutter.

“You’re not, that’s not what I meant.” Elias takes another breath. There’s something about the way you’re sitting here, shoulders hunched, arms wrapped around yourself, that gives him the courage to say: “You talk about them, but you always come back to me.”

You look up at him, eyes swimming with questions.

“Whatever guy you’re with, no matter how lonely you say you are, how many dates you go on; you always end up coming back here, to hang out on my couch. Why?”

“I mean,” you start, then stop yourself.

Are you really gonna tell him?

You think back to months ago, when Liza had asked you to picture your perfect guy.

“I can’t set you up if I don’t know what you want,” she’d said. “So, close your eyes, and picture yourself happy, in the future. You’ve got a house, and a dog, and a job. You’ve got a partner. What do you picture when you think of the partner?”

Elias.

You hadn’t said it, you’d said something about blond hair and kind eyes and someone who always makes you laugh, but you’re not dumb enough to deny that it was Elias that you were describing to her. That you pictured, when you closed your eyes, an alternate reality in which Elias was yours and you were his.

But you clearly can’t say that to Elias, because he’s not interested in you like this, and you don’t want to ruin this friendship. Not when it means the most to you.

You’d give anything to be able to hold onto Elias, and have him hold onto you.

So you say nothing, just stare at Elias’ hand, which has come to rest on your thigh. His fingers are long, slender, and you miss the feeling of them tangled with your own. You wonder if you could get away with grabbing his hand, every now and then, just as friends.

“Y/N,” Elias repeats, and this time he sounds a little desperate. “You’re always saying you’re lonely, and you want someone to love you, and you need a decent guy, and I don’t know what you’re waiting for but…”

I’m waiting for you, you think.

“But I’m right here.” Elias sits up a little straighter. There’s determination in his eyes, a quiet conviction that he usually reserves for hockey. “I’m right here, and I’m a decent guy, and I love you, so why won’t you love me?”

Time freezes.

You’re pretty sure if Elias had a clock you could look at, you’d find the hands of the clock not moving. If you looked outside, the cars would be stationary, the birds would be frozen in the air.

But Elias isn’t frozen. He’s somehow closer than he was before, and he’s moving closer, still.

“Stop me,” he whispers. “Stop me if you don’t want…” He doesn’t finish his sentence.

Doesn’t have to, really.

Because there’s a million things running through your mind, things like because I’m scared and he loves me and we’ve wasted so much time but at the end of the day they all lead to one single conclusion.

It’s him. It’s always been him.

So you launch forward, crash your lips against his in a feverish desperation to finally, finally make it right. He moves back from the force of it, but then his arms are wrapped around you and he’s pulling you closer, into his lap.

He slows down the kiss, softens it. The way he kisses you has your toes curling in your shoes, your heart beating in your throat, because he kisses you like no one has ever really kissed you before.

He kisses you like he loves you.

When you pull away, gasping for air, Elias’ eyes are soft when they lock with yours.

“Yeah?” he asks, and it’s hesitant, careful, like he’s still waiting for you to close the metaphorical door in his face, to take his heart and break it in two.

“I thought it wasn’t possible,” you admit. “I thought you would never want this.”

“Always,” Elias mumbles, and he leans a bit closer, presses a kiss against your jaw. “I’ve always wanted this.”

Always. He’s always wanted this and you were both too dumb to see it, both too dumb to connect the dots. You can’t believe you lost so much time, and you can’t believe it took so long.

Why did it take so long?

“Why didn’t I…” you start, but Elias cuts you off, kissing you once more. Gentle and short, this time, but still just as loving.

“It doesn’t matter,” he says. “What matters is that I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you say, and you bury your face in the crook of his neck, allow yourself to press your lips to his collarbone.

Maybe the why, or the how, or the when, doesn’t really matter in the end. Maybe it’s about the happy ever after.

And you think you found that, now.

#elias pettersson #vancouver canucks fic #nhl fic #elias pettersson fic #elias petterson one shot #elias pettersson imagine

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zimms · 4 years ago

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...where Louis and Hops bond! (For the writing prompt thing!) (If that's okay-)

(@tingo-tango )

thank you tingo!!

Hops slings an arm over Louis’ shoulders. “Hey dude!” He grins down at him, taking advantage of their height difference to ruffle Louis’ blond hair. “What’re you doing for Christmas?”

Louis shrugs. “I’ll probably just stay in dorms,” he says, heaving a sigh and leaning back into Hops’ arm. “With the game on Tuesday, it’s way too much effort to fly all the way to Sweden and back for just a couple of days. However, there’s a Norwegian girl on the same corridor as me, so we figured we’d open our gifts together on Christmas Eve.” He smiles wistfully. “Try to replicate the holiday feeling somehow, I guess, even if it won’t quite be the same.” He shifts slightly against Hops’ arm. “She’s bringing her girlfriend though, so it’s possible that I might end up third-wheeling.” Louis’ words start to pour faster and faster out of his mouth, and Hops knows that Louis’s on the verge of panicking. “I might even try and track down a Swedish Church in Boston and attend a Lucia service this weekend.”

A bubble of sadness wells up inside of Hops at Louis’ tone, so he ignores the onslaught of things that Louis’s said that don’t quite make sense to him and focuses on the thing he does understand; Louis is feeling lonely. “I mean, you can come stay with me if you want?” Hops rubs the back of his neck with his free arm that isn’t supporting Louis. “I’m only in Connecticut, so it’s not that far for us to go and come back in three days?” Hops grins and his voice picks up momentum as he gains a bit more confidence. “And that way you don’t end up third-wheeling with Norwegian Girl and I don’t end up third-wheeling with my sister and her boyfriend. See! It’s the perfect solution!”

Louis turns to beam at him. “That sounds nice,” he says, voice trailing off, “but would that be okay with your family? Wouldn’t it be weird for me to come as just like a friend rather than a significant other?”

Hops grins back. “Nah, they love meeting new people! The more people the better!” In a sudden moment of courage, he brings their hands together, entangling their fingers together, even as his cheeks heat with the realisation of what he’s done. “Anyway, if you’re that concerned about it being weird, you don’t have to come as just a friend.”

#sdjhsghgsd sorry this got shippy at the end #but it just happened #so....#my writing #tingo-tango #i don't know how much bonding there is here #but i think i might expand on this later?#louis introducing himself to hops' mother #hi i'm lukas #hops mouthing over his mom's shoulder: lukas?????#i can't remember if you sent this before or after i started my louis spam #but i'm glad i wrote this today #louis #hops #lucia is on the 13th of december #uhh if i got anything wrong and a swede would like to correct me pls do #louis and hops

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gardenia-angel · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter 3

𝓑𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓮𝓿𝓮 𝓜𝓮 𝓝𝓸𝔀

A few hours later I was sitting on the couch. One of my hands handcuffed to the arm of the couch and my other was softly petting a cat that was resting in my lap. I should’ve expected that they weren’t going to completely untie me. They’re trained assassins, that would be dumb of them. I probably would’ve tried to escape anyway. Axel had also put the gag back over my mouth. I guess we weren’t on the level of asking personal questions.

The day just kept getting weirder. Axel had taken off his clothes and was now cooking in the kitchen in just his underwear, a white t-shirt, and a pink apron. What could be weirder than that?! I asked myself. Lo and behold, Otto and Oscar stood face to face in front of me. I watched with perplexed look upon my face. Otto had a knife in his hand, ready to throw. Keeping his eyes on Oscar, he threw the knife in one swift motion. The knife barely missing his foot by an inch. My brows furrowed in confusion as I stayed silent and continued to watch. Oscar picked up the knife and did the same thing. Although this time the knife actually could be seen penetrating Ottos thigh. My eyes widened at the amount of blood that started to pour out. “What the hell?!” I tried to say but it only came out as a muffled noise. They both looked at me a little alarmed, but not even fazed about the blood.

Oscar finally got what I had said and tsked his tongue. “Oh he’s fine, right Otto?”

Otto removed the knife with no effort and nodded to Oscars question. It made me wonder what era they were from, seeing that this is their way of passing time and also I noted their very outdated clothes.

In an instant, it was like I had vertigo. I was thrown into another vision. The three brothers were in a cornfield. Vanya was also in the cornfield. She seemed to be running away from them. In another moment, Axel was about to shoot her but Vanya has sent them flying backwards with her powers.

The vision had come to an end and I was back in my reality. “Are you ok?” Oscar had asked. Axel was about to come and investigate what was wrong but a ‘woosh’ sound could be heard coming from the cupboard. He opened the small door revealing a tube with a message inside. Oscar and Otto came up behind him to see what the message from Commission was.

I already knew what the message was. A picture of Vanya and her coordinates. To get their attention I decided to try speaking again, knowing that they wouldn’t be able to understand what I was saying. So they would have no choice but to take off the gag. Otto came and took it off of me. “Thank god, finally!”

“What were you saying?” Axel asked.

“The message you got from the Commission, it’s about Vanya isn’t it?” They looked at each other, which made me certain that it’s true. “Listen, you shouldn’t go. Vanya’s more powerful than you think!” I continued.

“It doesn’t matter. We have orders.” Axel said before going back to the kitchen. Otto went to the freezer to get ice for his leg while Oscar took the seat next to me and began playing with another cat. When Otto opened the freezer door, I gasped. Sitting inside was the head of the lady that lived here. I turned away quickly, directing my attention to the cat Oscar played with. “I’m gonna be sick.” I mumbled. Oscar turned, seeing the head in the freezer too? “What? Just a head..” He shrugged.

“Just a head!” I scoffed.

Axel had finished making their dinner. He set their plates on the table then came over to me and tried handing me a plate. The smell of fish almost made me gag. “You know, I may not remember who I am but I’m pretty sure I wasn’t a seafood person.” I laughed lightly while trying to block the smell by pinching my nose. Axel still had the plate out for me to grab. Geez I wonder when he’ll loosen up. I shook my head and pushed the plate back towards him. “I appreciate it but no thank you. I’ll pass..”

“You can’t just eat nothing!” Axel said while going over to the table to give his brothers the fish, which they happily took.

“If I’m not mistaken, I think you’re sassing me!” I said in the same tone as him. Oscar and Otto looked at each other after I said that. Axel, taken aback by my words, turned back to me and scoffed. “You’re being difficult..” He grumbled.

“Maybe if you wouldn’t keep me chained, you’d see that I’m not so much of a pain.” I countered, crossing one of my arms around my waist and tilting my head. He narrowed his eyes in thought. “So what you’re saying is you’ll cook for yourself?”

“Yeah I will if I’m hungry but right now I’m not...I’d much rather take a shower..” I mumbled the last part. Axel gave me a funny look, not knowing what to say. “You are going to allow me to shower right?!” I hated this. It felt as though I was being treated like a child.

This time Otto spoke up. But this time they spoke amongst each other in Swedish. I internally groaned. What the hell was being said this time? They didn’t appear to be saying anything bad about me, otherwise they probably would be laughing and smirking. But they sounded serious.

“Fine.” Axel said when he turned back to me. I smiled. “You know I think we will learn to get along very well with each other..” I said as he unlocked the handcuffs. I stood and walked over to the hall entrance. “And don’t worry, I won’t try to escape.” I turned to say. I walked calmly away until I wasn’t in their vision then bolted down the hallway to the bathroom. It wasn’t that hard to find. There were four rooms. Three of them being bedrooms and one being the bathroom. As soon as I shut the door I went straight up to the window. A clever smirk on my face as I pulled the curtains apart.

“Fuck.”

It was a single hung window which was the type that only opens up a few inches. Not enough room for anyone to fit through. I guess a shower really wasn’t such a bad idea anyways. As I showered, I thought about what was happening with the Hargreeves siblings. I wondered if Five was worried that I disappeared. He probably isn’t though. I was just a burden that was thrown into a story that’s not even mine. But how do I know this isn’t my story? Or maybe I was just in the afterlife. Some weird afterlife if you ask me.

Once I was done, I felt a million times better. I was refreshed and ready to make peace with the Swedes. Or at least try to be on civil terms with them. I still thought it was a bad idea for them to go on their mission. I tried to think of things to get them to stay but no solid statement could come to mind.

I looked down at my pile of clothes. They were absolutely filthy. Both my pants and my shirt were covered in dirt and grime. My shirt also having the smell of sweat and the slight metallic scent of blood. It made me gag. I never knew my clothes would ever smell that bad. I had a decision to make. I either put these clothes back on or I can try to find something to wear in one of the rooms. Leaving the bathroom was a risk I was willing to take. I opened the door slowly as to not make a creak and peaked my head out. The coast was clear, they seemed to still be in the living room. I quickly tiptoed into the nearest room. I turned the light on to see better and took a look around. If I had to guess this was the landlady’s room. Opening the closet I took out a sleeveless dress with a multi colored checkered pattern. Oh yeah this was definitely the sixties. The dress itself was too big compared to my frame. I put it back in its place and made my way into the next room. This room had a slight teenager-ish vibe to it. To put it simple, the walls were slight darkish pink but covered in posters and the furniture and decor were a light cotton candy pink. I walked over to a vanity and picked up a notepad that sat on top. “Packing for college checklist.” I whispered. The lady must’ve had a daughter who just recently went to college. Well I hope she doesn’t mind if I raid her closet.

With that in mind I opened her closet. She barely had any dresses in here, at least none that I would feel comfortable wearing, so I went to take a look in her drawers. I picked out a pair of high waisted plaid pants and a white sleeveless button up top. When I went to close one of the drawers it had gotten slightly stuck. For a moment I had forgotten where I was and went ahead forced it shut with a loud bang. ‘Oh shit they had to have heard that!’ I thought to myself in a panic. I stayed quiet to see if I could hear any footsteps. Within a few moments someone could be heard coming down the hall. I was still wrapped up in a towel and didn’t have the time to change before one of them came. I dashed to the door to shut it all the way before anyone could come in. I closed it with a slam and reached down to lock it, yet there was no lock to be found. “Shit, shit, shit!” I said in a hushed tone as I held my body to the door. One of them tried to open it but found that the door knob wouldn’t budge. “Huh? What are you doing in there?!” Came the angry voice of Axel. He banged on the door. “No! D-Don’t come in!” My strength was no match for his and he was able to push the door open. I took a few steps back and mentally prepared myself for the embarrassment I was about to endure. I turned my head down to the side and winced as I held on to the towel wrapped around me tightly. “What do you think you’re. . oh. .” His voice started off furious but it quickly trailed off. I could feel my face flush as I tried to regain my composure and look at him. He looked absolutely confounded and lost for words. “Uh —umm..” I was also lost for words but I at least broke the silence making him snap out of it and avert his eyes away. He stepped back through the doorway. “Uh, sorry.” Was all he said before closing the door gently. I put my hand up to my my mouth to keep myself from the burst of nervous laughter that wanted to come out. I had mixed feelings of uneasiness, shock, and giddiness. What just happened?!

I quickly changed into the new clothes, not wanting to ponder on the thought much longer, and walked into the living room like nothing happened. They three were loading up guns. They looked up as I entered the room. I put my hands on my hips as I looked at each of them. “You’re still gonna go? Even after what I told you!” Axel looked at me, his eyes lingering for a second before turning to Oscar and saying something in Swedish.

Was it bad that I wanted him to look at me again the way he did earlier?

Oscar made his way over to me and pulled me towards the couch, once again hand cuffing me to it. “You guys don’t believe me, do you?” I sighed as I stared at the wall in front of me. None of them spoke until they were about to walk through the door.

“Even if we did believe you, we still have to do our job.” Axel said before shutting the door behind him.

As I sat there on the couch, the cat from earlier had come up to me again and sat in my lap. “I may not have known them for long . . but I worry for them.” I said softly to the cat, who stared up at me while purring. “Yeah, maybe I will be able to help them. Maybe that’s why I’m here?”

A few hours passed by before I stirred awake again, the cat still sitting with me. I looked at a clock that read ‘1:11 am’. They still weren’t back yet and I wondered what could be happening. As if on queue, one by one walked inside. Their shoulders were slumped and their eyes looked tired. Oscar has a gash the side of his head that was bleeding slightly. Otto has some fresh cuts on his face. “What happened?” I questioned. I knew something was going to go wrong.

Axel was the last to walk in, his face contorted in pain. He took off his coat, his whole sleeve was soaked in blood from a wound on his arm. I gasped softly at the sight of it. I’ve seen so much blood in such a short time. I wondered if it was always like this for me.

Axel rolled up his sleeve revealing a bullet wound. A feeling, almost like and instinct, took over and before I could stop myself, I spoke up. “You guys looks awful! Un cuff me and let me help.”

They all looked at me with their same expression of surprise and suspicion. “Please . . Let me help you.” I said slowly and earnestly. They gave in with little hesitation. Once I was freed I asked Otto, him being the least injured to go find some washcloths and other medical supplies. I went ahead and helped Oscar first. The cut on his head wasn’t too bad, it just needed to be cleaned up. He smiled and thanked me for helping. He stood from the chair to leave the room. “Careful with Axel he may bite.” Oscar joked before disappearing into the hall. I felt my face heat up as I turned to Axel. He had his face in his hand, shaking his head slightly.

“Well anyways..” I said trying to get back to the task at hand. I cleaned the wound up as much as I could. “It looks like you need stitches.” I told him. He nodded for me to go ahead.

“Why are you being kind to us?” He asked as I began stitching.

“I’m not sure.” I said after a moment. I didn’t really know how to answer his sudden questions. “Maybe because you decided not to kill me.” I said with a small smile. I finished up and we stayed sitting there on the couch. “And I feel as though there’s . . Something more to you guys than what’s on the surface.”

“What’s on the surface?”

“Cold hearted assassins that work for the Commission.” I said without a second thought.

“And the ‘something more’?” He asked. His aura seemed to be more at ease and not so tense around me anymore, making me feel more relaxed.

“I don’t know yet . . But I’d like to find out.” I replied in the same soft tone.

“You’re very different.” He said and smiled to that. We sat there in comfortable silence for a while. I felt myself become more tired again and soon my head leaned to the side and I fell back asleep.

“Thank you . .” Axel whispered before falling asleep as well.

❤️Tags : @koelu-chan @gorgeourrific-nerd

#the umbrella academy #the swedes #tua season 2 #the umbrella academy season 2 #tua the swedes #the swedes x reader

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wilwywaylan · 3 years ago

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Stand Still Stay Silent Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Lalli Hotakainen/Emil Västerström Characters: Emil Västerström, Lalli Hotakainen Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, end of Adventure One, everyone is stranded and Emil is thinking, Just some stupid thing, stupid as Emil Series: Part 1 of Picture book Summary:

For days, Emil had been pondering about a certain fashion point concerning Lalli.

Béta-ed by @a-tehta and @paon-de-jour

For the past three hours, Emil had been sitting near the tiny house, on a grassy hill scattered with small, golden flowers. Elbows firmly planted on his thighs and head in his hands, gazing into space. Or maybe not really into space. For now several weeks, he had been pondering a question. No, not just a question. A Question. A Very Important Question, that had been turning at the back of his mind for days now. Since they had left Mälmo, in fact. Crossing the snowy plains had left him with many hours to think about it, without landing on a satisfying answer.

At the other edge of the camp, Lalli got up from where he was sitting and walked to the small fire, sniffing whatever mixture Mikkel was boiling in his pot. He grimaced at the smell and walked to the clothes hanging on a string, patting one of the sweaters to check if it was dry. Emil's eyes followed closely. There laid the crux of the problem, the center of the Question. The thing that had been torturing him, and kept tormenting him day after day, hour after hour.

Who, in their right mind, had found appropriate to provide Lalli with those boots ?

Because their uniforms, as thrifty as they were, had been designed by someone who had at least some idea of what they needed. They were different, tailored to their missions : Emil's was thick, strong enough to protect him from the falling rubble and the heat created by his flamethrower. It didn't catch fire easily and was warm enough for the weather. Mikkel was mostly the same, maybe not as fire-resistant, but comfortable and protecting him against hits. Sigrun's was lighter, less insulated, but more flexible, adapted to fast moves and quick attacks. And of course, Lalli's tunic was short as not to hinder his movements, light and airy to let him breathe, and a hood to block out all annoyances.

And those boots.

There were gloves, too, Emil knew it, he had felt their contact enough times not to forget them. But they were incidental. They didn't even deserve a mention. Not when one was focusing on the boots.

On a rational plane, Emil understood. Lalli had to be able to cover a huge distance in a short time, to run fast on all kinds of grounds, and pass any kind of obstacle without being impeded by anything. In his line of work, being even slowed down a little could very well mean death, by troll or even worse. Emil didn't know what was more awful, getting torn apart, or being incapacited by a wound and slowly die of cold or starvation. Both were a horrible way to go, and the mere idea of Lalli suffering such a fate was enough to make him want to lock the Finn inside and never let him outside ever again.

Lalli had grown disinteressed with the laundry, or maybe displeased, and was currently looking at the sea, his gaze focused on the waves as if he could bring the ship coming for them by the sheer force of his glare. He was standing at the extreme edge of a rock, his whole body tensing, standing on his toes like he was ready to jump at the slightest hint of a boat. The position did nothing for poor Emil's nerves. Perched like that, it was extremely easy for one's eyes to be dragged to those damn boots again.

Because he knew, they needed to be sturdy. They needed to hold around his legs and move with him and bend and crease and not chafe or anything. He knew that. But still. Did they need to be so... so... evident ? Did they have to be so shiny ? Because they were, even after weeks and weeks spent trudging through the snow and dirt. Mikkel's vigorous cleaning could have something to do with it, but Emil knew that leather didn't stay that spotless after so much time in the field. And still, Lalli's boots were still as shiny as if they had just be made, the light tracing zigzags following the wrinkles around the knees. Black and shiny and just so, so smooth. The leather did have a grain, Emil had felt it more than once, but from there, it looked perfectly sleek, almost liquid.

But even worse that this glossy appearance that seemed to call for his hands, was that they were very, really, extremely form-fitting. They followed every curve of Lalli's legs, hiding nothing of their shape. The shine didn't help, glossy lines underlining the muscles of the thighs, the curve of the calves tensing to allow him a better vantage point, running down to his feet, so delicate for someone running so much, like Lalli had dipped his legs in a vat of ink. Even the laces only served to make his ankles look even thinner, so thin that Emil felt he could have broken them by squeezing them too tight, like a handful of sticks. Of course, it was just an impression. As delicate as Lalli was, and Emil knew what he looked like under those boots, his legs were way sturdier than they looked. Strong and muscular, almost wiry....

Emil shook his head, mussing his hair, trying to dispel the thoughts starting to form and push them back down where they should remain. And still, even with his best efforts, they were starting to peek through, slowly coming to the surface like some kind of marine creatures from the depths, at first some vague shadows, quickly gaining weight and presence. Just some bubbles of thoughts piercing through at first, the slope of the calf, the leather creasing and cracking with a sharp twist of the foot, tight across the top, the light in small lines... And his fingers sliding on them. That one was quickly gaining traction ; his fingertips at first, slowly passing over the arch just above the sole, climbing over the ankle and the laces crossing over it. The foot moving a little under his touch. And now, his hand following the curve, flat against the leather, higher and higher. Passing the knee, and stroking the larger area of the thigh...

Emil swallowed hard, trying to soothe his suddenly very dry throat. The mere idea was enough to make his heart race and his breath come short. And still the image kept coming, his hand on the shiny leather. Reaching the top of the boot, the white fabric slipping up to reveal the pale, shivering skin under... The fingers, slowly, very slowly slipping the boot down, inch by inch...

(Emil knew very well that Lalli's boots weren't that easy to get down. He had to do it several times the past few days, and there was way less seductive stroking and way more swearing and pulling with all his might, but his brain was kind enough to not dwell on it.)

In his mind, the boot was now past Lalli's knee, unveiling the small scar across the bone, the leg so white under the black material. His fingers itched to feel, to stroke, and they touched the skin, very lightly....

And something fell just beside him, almost crushing his hand. He barely had time to save his fingers. Lalli may be barely heavier than a moderatly-sized chicken, but it could still hurt. The Finn glanced at him, and Emil suddenly realized that his cheeks were burning, and he was probably very, very red. But Lalli didn't say anything (not that Emil would have understood, his Finnish was still very, very basic) or poked his face. Instead, he patted down Emil's curls until they were all in order again. Once satisfied, he sat back down, mimicking Emil's pose, elbows on his knee.

- Food, he sighed, and pointed at the sun in a short curve.

It took Emil a long moment to understand what he meant. From what he could gather, Lalli was complaining about how long it was taking Mikkel to cook something for dinnertime. Not that he minded ; judging by the smell covering their makeshift campement, it would probably be something based way too heavily on stale canned fish and the leaves he had found around. But it would be warm, at least. And it would keep his mind out of those weird ideas. But they were coming back with a vengeance, because Lalli was sitting close. So close, in fact, that his leg was touching Emil's. His leg, encased in this damn boot. Emil wanted nothing more than forget about all those ideas before they started become... noticeable. But it was damn hard with that leather shining in the sun just under his eyes.

Lalli suddenly poked him sharply in the shoulder. Emil turned to glare at him, rubbing the skin - those fingers were pointy - but Lalli didn't let it faze him.

- Wrong ? he asked, pointing at the boots.

Of course Emil did follow his gesture, cursing himself for it. He was too busy keeping his face in some semblance of normalcy to answer, and Lalli poked him again. He was surely going to have a bruise there.

- Wrong ? You look. What wrong ? he repeated.

To better convey his meaning, he extended a leg, and would have put it directly on Emil's lap, had he not abruptly stood up, almost knocking Lalli down. He babbled something that the Finn certainly didn't get because it was barely Swedish, turned tail and ran away as soon as he could. Yeah. He was entirely, thouroughly, perpetually fucked. Because of boots, and the one that wore them. Damn them.

(He didn't get very far. In his hast of getting away, he hadn't really checked where he had been going, and ran head first into the nearest tree. The hit had the nasty side effect of leaving him with a hideous bruise on his forehead and of being made fun of by Sigrun while Mikkel was tending to him. But at least it got the boots out of his mind. For now.)

#stand still stay silent #ssss #emil västerström #lalli hotakainen #emilalli #well shades of #stupid Emil is stupid #stupid author is stupid too

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lihikainanea · 5 years ago

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so after the forest incident, tiger doesn’t go into sweden’s wilderness alone anymore. but she n bill are on vacation with his fam and gustaf takes her on a hike. tiger is loving it but one thing leads to another and she gets hurt, maybe a sprain. g carries her back and bill’s upset bc she’s hurt but he’s grateful she wasn’t alone. he morphs into protective mode tho and is a lil jealous that he wasn’t there to help when she fell. but g is happy to hand her off to bill so he can care for her - 🕊

Ohhhhhhh my. Sweet, sweet Gustaf. And like, Bill gets a little on edge whenever tiger and forest are mentioned in the same breath, understandably, because the last time was hell on Earth.

But like, the minute that she says she’s going with G, Bill is fine. And he’d go with them, but maybe the big dude is nursing a bit of a hangover that’s kicking his ass, and he promised tiger he’d take her on a long trail today but he’s just like...dying. And he knows she’s disappointed, but she’s trying not to show it and trying to take care of him. So when G initially offers to take her instead, she politely refuses--because Bill is a mess, really. He looks half dead. But he’s fine, and he knows she’ll really love the hike, so he insists.

She spends some time with him before she leaves, giving him a few gentle head scritchies and some strong coffee, maybe an alka seltzer and some Tylenol, a cool cloth for his forehead, just tries to get him back feeling somewhat human. And when G comes to get her, she pats her Big Dude’s gut and brushes that curl back from his forehead.

“Are you sure, bud?” she asks softly. He smiles--it’s a little pained, but he manages--and he flicks her nose affectionately.

“Go on kid,” he says and it’s all raspy, “You’ll love it.”

And then he says something in Swedish to Gustaf, and Gustaf just gets that wry smile and nods. Tiger gets up, ruffles her Good Dude’s hair, and Bill holds onto her hand. Tugging lightly, he pulls her down and she kisses him softly--because they can do that now, in front of G. But when she pulls away, Bill keeps hold of her hand.

“Tiger,” he says sternly, “You don’t leave his side, got it?”

Tiger blushes a little.

“Got it bud,” she says shyly.

“Promise me.”

“I promise Billy Goat,” she murmurs, and he pulls her down for another kiss. Some more Swedish muttering, and Gustaf is laughing as he ushers her out the door.

But like, listen. G’s a good dude too. G has no doubt kept a lot of his younger siblings alive throughout their youth, if/when he had to take care of them. But tiger is a whole other bag of cats, man--that girl has zero self-preservation skills, and is the clumsiest motherfucker Gustaf thinks he has ever seen. And he tried, he really did--but there was no stopping it. Maybe it’s not a sprain so much as like, a deep gash or something. Or maybe she THINKS it’s a sprain because it hurts like a bitch--either way, this image of Gustaf just carrying tiger back to the house is the thing dreams are made out of. And maybe Bill started feeling alive enough to be sitting out on the front porch, clutching his cup of coffee, when Gustaf appeared in the far distance with tiger in his arms. And it’s not like that one time with Valter-- Bill trusts Gustaf with his life, and he knows that if tiger STILL got hurt while under his care, then it’s pretty legit. It’s like the kid does it on purpose sometimes.

So he just sighs, starts untangling himself from his blanket. There’s no sense of urgency on his part, because he’s already taken in Gustaf’s demeanor--and it’s calm like it always is, not rushed, soothing. Bill knows that the injury is already well taken care of to the best of G’s abilities, and nothing about their approach is cause for worry. Bill just sighs as they approach, stands up and tries to get a good look.

“It really is a talent, you know,” G says, and Bill smiles wryly.

“What is?” he asks, “Her dedication to hurting herself, or the perpetual effort in just trying to keep her alive?”

“Yes,” Gustaf replies. The two bros laugh, and tiger makes an offended noise.

“I’m right here you fuckheads,” she snaps. But then Gustaf makes like he’s going to put her down, and she clings to him more, crawls up a little on him.

“No!” she cries, and both brothers look at her in satisfaction. But then she gives Bill those sad eyes--that look that is reserved for only him--and his heart clenches a little.

“What happened, kid?” he asks softly. She holds out her arms to him, and Gustaf hands her over as she wraps her arms around Bill’s neck.

“I tripped and fell,” she says, “Tore up my leg on a branch that was sticking out.”

He looks to Gustaf for confirmation, and big bro gives a subtle nod.

“Alright, let’s get you patched up then.”

And goddddd GOOD DUDE BILL. He just brings her inside, sets her up on the counter in the bathroom while he putters around. He’s probably still feeling way less than stellar, and tiger’s injury is really doing nothing for his already sensitive stomach. But he cleans her up, patches her up--maybe even calls in Dr. Big Bro to make sure she doesn’t need stitches, but of course as soon as tiger sees Dr. Big Bro she’s trying to flee because she STILL thinks he’ll try to stab her with a needle, and Bill just has to pick her up and throw her back on the counter.

But all is well, he patches her up, and she leans to give him a big smooch.

“Thanks bud,” she murmurs, and he cups her face for another kiss.

“Come on,” he says, helping her off the ledge, “You must be hungry.”

And on cue, they emerge from the bathroom to see G, putting the finishing touches on lunch for all of them.

GOD GOOD DUDE BILL AND GUSTAF.

#bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard drabble #BFF!Bill #family drama

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emikochan · 5 years ago

Note

Nordic 5 with the s/o wanting to learn their language but with a slight twist, the s/o wanting to try and learn their language but they fear they won’t be able or good enough to if that makes sense.

I'm so hyped for this. Thanks for the request, Cat-chan!🌸

~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~

Norway:

"You can do this, (y/n)."

"Hell no, Lukas. I'll make a fool out of myself"

You crossed your arms in front of your chest in a protective manner. Today, the market place seemed to be louder than ever before. It seemed to be buzzing with life and it was loud. What if the old man at the candy stall couldn't hear you and you had to repeat yourself awkwardly? What if he understood the wrong thing and accidently had you insulting his mother or something like that? The risk of messing up was just too damn high.

"Just go for it"

"No!" Cold fingers suddenly entangled with yours and you looked up to see him right by your side, looking down at you.

"We'll go together. If you mess up, I'm right there to correct it. You don't have to be afraid."

With a gulp you snuggled a bit closer to Lukas' side and you two approached the friendly old man, that welcomed you two with a warm smile.

"Hei"

"Hei" your eyes scanned the cute wooden boxes that were filled with sweets. They finally locked with the cute fish shaped candy that Lukas adored so much.

"Unnskyld, hvor mye koster det?" ( Sorry, how much does it cost?)

"20 stk koster 5 kroner" he replied and you felt Lukas' hand squeeze yours as an encouragement to go on.

"Det vil jeg gjerne" ( I'd like to have that) you felt a bit of sweat form on your forehead as you flashed him an unsure smile.

The old man nodded and packed your candy in a cute bag before handing it over to you. You gave the good man his money, bid him farewell and took a deep breath as you two went on your way.

"You did well, elskede." Lukas' lips had the softest tug of a smile at their corners and you felt your heart soar, a triumphant smile coming around your lips as well.

~~~~~

Denmark:

His lips covered your neck in thousand kisses. His breath sent shivers down your spine every few seconds and his soft touches left you yearning for more.

"Jeg elsker deg, (y/n)" he whispered and your clouded mind contemplated on wether you should say it or not.

Mikkel went on to whisper way more intimate things, that usually didn't show that much of an effect on you, since you couldn't understand a word. Today you blushed a bright red though.

Struck by surprise your eyes widened slightly. You actually understood some bits and pieces of the dirty things he growled. During the last few weeks you wondered if your lessons even had any effect on you but it's good to know that all of your efforts weren't in vain.

Maybe you weren't doing as bad as you thought you did?

Having enough of him being so cocky, you placed both hands on his shoulders and flipped him onto the bed with you on top of him.

"Hvad siger du, skat?" (What are you saying, darling?" you asked with a smirk and had the confident Dane under you with his eyes wide as little plates and an open mouth staring up at you in awe.

Mikkel didn't let you leave the bed that night and continues to beg you to speak more Danish even weeks after that.

~~~~

Sweden:

You actually caught him by surprise when he talked to his boss on the phone. He was so occupied with his thoughts that he accidently talked to you in Swedish.

You just finished your lessons for that day and were just as occupied with your thoughts as he was, so you replied in Swedish without even noticing it first. It took Berwald a few seconds after hanging up until he truly realized it.

"(y/n)? I didn't know you picked up so much Swedish." You blinked until the realization hit you too.

"Oh... well... it wasn't that good. I'm suprised you actually understood me." you started while fidgeting with the hem of your shirt.

"No, you almost sounded like a native. You're doing very well." he simply stated.

A straightforward man that states the blunt truth. That's why you loved him and his compliment made you smile brightly.

"Tak för det" (Thank you for that)

~~~~

Finland:

What on earth have you done to yourself.

Your hands were clasped over your head, smoke seemed to come out of your ears and your tired eyes could barely focus on the sheer endless lines of words and phrases that literally never.found.an.end anymore.

You were literally "Vapisee kuin haavan lehti" – which is something like "To tremble like the leaf of an aspen tree" or something around that gist- God you don't even know anymore.

"Rakas, are you finished with that project of yours?" A certain Finnish man peeked behind the opening door and found your exhausted body slumped over the desk with big tears swelling up in your eyes and his smile instantly fell. He came rushing to you in an instant

"Oh Hani, what's wrong? Did...did the project go so bad?"

You couldn't answer as you began to sob uncontrollably, the deep feeling of disappointment rising up in you since you totally failed to learn Finnish. Even the basics were too difficult to keep inside that damn head of yours and it just frustrated you to no end.

His hand was quick to rub your back in a comforting manner, while his other hand quickly ripped out a tissue from your desk's tissue box. His eyes fell on the several pieces of paper that lay spread all across the wooden surface. He instantly recognized it as his mother tongue and his eyes widened in astonishment as he noticed your handwriting, that apparently wrote all of those texts and notes down.

"Finnish?" he asked and picked one of the sheets up to examine it closer.

"Puhutko suomea?" ( Do you speak Finnish?) he asked you softly and you simply shook your head.

"I tried, ok. I tried but I just don't get it, it's just too much."

He frowned but it was directed to himself, not you. He nodded and pressed a kiss on your head as he continued to skip through the papers that you finished during the last hours.

"Rakas, you don't have to do this for me. I know how hard my language is, you don't-"

"But it wouldn't be fair! You learnt English and it would be just to at least try and learn your language too!" you exclaimed and he was taken aback for a second before smiling softly.

"Calm, sweetie, calm. How about we take a break today? Let's do a fun trip tomorrow and learn some easier vocabs than this."

That sounded good enough for you to finally calm down, go downstairs to sit on the couch with him and sob your heart out on Tinos shoulder. You confessed your frustration, hate and insecurity towards this new challenge and Tino listened and responded with nothing but reasurance, compassion and love all night long. He'll help you, don't worry.

~~~~~

Iceland:

Gosh, that dude started getting on your nerves. He was really testing your patience with his endless pestering and horrible pick-up lines in broken English that just made you cringe.

You just wanted to wait for Emil to come back from the bathroom so that you two could finally go the rollercoaster but this random guy just wouldn't leave you alone. His English was so bad that he didn't understand your rejection completely and just went on with his pestering, so you had nothing to lose, right?

You had enough.

"Ég er giftur! Drullaðu þér í burtu!" ( I am married! Shit yourself away/Beat it!) you hissed and the stranger took a few steps back before throwing his hands up in the air and finally disappearing.

You huffed and hoped he got the message, Emil most certainly heard it.

"What got you so worked up?"

You turned around in shock and instantly felt shame coming up in you as you locked eyes with the familiar pair of violet orbs. You wanted to improve your icelandic in secret and eventually surprise your beloved boyfriend by saying something nice to him and now the first things he ever heard you say in his native tongue were horrible swear words.

You sunk your head in shame.

"You know, we're not married...yet. But I liked that part very much" he said while placing his gloved hand on your chin to make you look at him.

"I'm sorry. I...wanted it to be perfect when I talk to you" you confessed with sadness still lacing your beautiful voice.

"Sounded perfect enough. Now let's go" Emil wrapped his arm around your waist and gently guided you away from the bathroom stalls.

He's really, really proud of you; don't think he didn't mean what he said simply because he kept the same expression the entire time.

#hetalia #aph norway #lukas bondevik #aph sweden #berwald oxenstierna #aph iceland #emil steilsson #aph finland #tino vainamoinen #aph denmark #mikkel densen #boyfriend #request

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yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy · 4 years ago

Text

Why So Jaded Chapter 8

FFN AO3

Enjoy.

Chapter 8

Violet was all too happy to get Buddy out of SEB and even let him drive her SUV to where they needed to go on her first official "Raid Day". Where all the "spiders" would be "sleeping" and it would give Buddy and Violet some breathing room.

"Oh my God, may the heavens themselves bless you, I almost forgot how nice it is to drive and not be driven around everywhere." Buddy thanked her gratefully as he drove her very nice SUV around Metroville, surprisingly remembering his way around here as he marveled at how the city had grown and developed since he drove around in it last.

"So are we clear?" Buddy breathed.

"Yes, all the "spiders" are sleeping. They're not gone but they're sleeping. And I've been practicing turning some that Phillip doesn't control and isn't keeping track of off and on again along with every other one I can get my hands on so I can turn them on and off on my own." Violet divulged.

"You do realize that you are officially the coolest person I know right? Like that is mind blowing cool." Buddy told her which got her to giggle as he drove them to their first destination because Buddy had surprised Violet with breakfast in his apartment.

"Thanks, I try, I just needed to witness them being put to sleep in order to figure out how to do it. Because all I've been able to do before is just know that they're on and where they are. But that's it, I mean there have been a few that I've purposefully overpowered and fried. Like turning a burner on its highest setting. But I hadn't been able to figure out how to turn it down." Violet continued.

"That's a really good metaphor." Buddy realized.

"Thanks." Violet grinned and Buddy looked over to see her hand resting on her arm rest and resisted the urge to just reach over and hold her hand before they went to a butcher shop to get their main course as Buddy was all too happy to give her some pointers and how to pick out a great steak or chop, and then it was onto a Merry Cherry to order a good cake for dessert that Violet would be picking up Saturday morning and then to a big box store to get all kinds of things, from a playpen and toys for the kids to other ingredients and then they stopped for lunch at one of Violet's favorite places to get lunch on her days off when she wasn't in a suit, which was a 'FUBU' Mexican place which she explained was a "For Us, By Us" Mexican place and Buddy was impressed when she spoke flawless Spanish in ordering for them.

"How many languages do you speak?" Buddy asked.

"A lot." Violet answered.

"How many is 'a lot'." Buddy posed curiously.

"Take a guess." Violet prompted.

"Obviously, at least two." Buddy guessed as he dug into the chips and salsa.

"Higher." Violet gestured for him to up his guess as she helped him decimate the delicious chips and salsa because both were super fresh and delicious.

"Five?" Buddy blinked and his eyebrows rose in surprise when she gestured to go higher.

"Ten?" Buddy pressed.

"Close, 12, complete fluent languages."

"What are they? Can you tell me?" Buddy prodded.

"English, Latin- and it's the Latin that made learning Italian and Spanish a breeze but I learned Mexican Spanish first and then Spain Spanish second. Let's see- I know French, Turkish, Arabic, Chinese Mandarin, Japanese, Korean, Russian and lastly Portuguese, I know bits and pieces of Swedish, German, Hindi and Greek. So technically more like 16. But I have to because Phillip is a world traveler and businessman and wants to make sure that he understands what everyone around him is saying, because again, paranoid." Violet explained.

"That and I already knew most of those before I ever worked for him because of my other work." Violet shrugged nonchalantly.

"And that's why you're the best at what you do." Buddy realized.

"It's one of the things, yes." Violet agreed before their tacos and other ingredients were brought out.

"Ok, these tacos are already amazing but to make them better, squeeze the lime to cut the fat, a spoonful of rice, a scoop of refried beans, a dash of mole, cover in queso, and just a dab of the green salsa unless you love really spicy then add the red and viola, the perfect taco." Violet urged as she did what she preferred to her own tacos as Buddy copied her pattern as they lifted their tacos and bumped them together.

"Cheers," they both smiled at each other before they each took their first bites before Buddy outright moaned and Violet giggled again and hummed in agreement.

"Oh, oh this is amazing." Buddy praised between mouthfuls.

"Now you see why I like to come here. FUBU anything is always better than the "mainstream" version and these are handmade, hand pressed corn tortillas that were being made as we were ordering and you always double up on the tortillas." Violet appraised.

"How many other little gems like this have you found in the city?" Buddy asked.

"Oh, dozens. Any and every kind of ethnic food you can think of, all of them 'FUBU's' . A year ago, in an effort to get a break from all the spiders, I would take myself out to lunch all on my own, I'd leave all the electronics in the car and park it like down the street and sometimes over a street from where I was really going and take like an hour and a half lunches, trying to find all these little hole in the wall places where there wasn't so many watching eyes and listening ears. And along the way, I found some amazing food and then I never showed any of them to him. Because I didn't want him to invade what little spaces of freedom and breathing room I had found. Not that he would be caught dead in any eatery that didn't have a five star rating and at least one Michelin star."

"So why are you bringing me to a place like this?" Buddy asked.

"Because I have a very good feeling you won't invade them. That you'll appreciate sharing them with me, and if anything happens and I disappear, it'll be one of the few places I'll reappear in." Violet answered softly.

"Well, count me honored and privileged then and if I'm ever in a position that I think I'm being tailed, I won't come anywhere near here or anywhere else you would take me, cause I would hate for an invasion, much less an infestation to take place." Buddy vowed.

"Good." Violet smiled appreciatively.

Once they finished lunch, which ended up taking a few hours because they got lost in conversation, they went to Violet's favorite wine and liquor store that was huge because they had everything under the sun where Buddy felt like a kid in a candy store as Violet showed him all her favorites and made suggestions based on his chosen menu and Buddy noticed that the more the day progressed, the closer to him she came, to the point that she was always taking his arm when they were walking side by side or simply standing looking at wines and other spirits and he was all too happy to get her doors for her and did his best to be a perfect gentleman which Violet appreciated and it was there in the cold room of the liquor store where Violet and Buddy were staring at one of many walls of floor to ceiling craft beer before none other than Keith and Greg showed up since they just got off of work and stopped in their tracks and stared when they saw Buddy in there with Violet as they huddled together in the cold room, trying to pick out beers but Violet didn't really drink beer and Buddy didn't either so they weren't sure what exactly they were looking at.

"Bud?" They called out before Buddy turned his head.

"Hey guys." Buddy greeted happily as Violet put on a friendly smile since she had already been running background checks on them and recognized them from meeting them in Vegas when Buddy had introduced them to her formally at the casino.

"Are you out on a walk?" They teased Buddy.

"He is, I figured if I held his hand, he wouldn't have to be on a leash." Violet answered with a shit eating grin which got them all to laugh as she slipped her hand into Buddy's and held it for emphasis but wouldn't let it go and Buddy was unbelievably pleased about that and gently squeezed it a little in appreciation.

"It would look a little strange." Greg allowed.

"Especially when he has to wear a shock collar to go with it." Violet clicked her teeth with a wink that got all of them to erupt into further laughter as Buddy's cheeks were beet red along with his ears and suddenly the cold room wasn't so cold anymore.

"So you're into that kind of thing?" Keith teased Violet.

"No, it was just a dig." Violet answered with a shake of her head.

"Damn." Buddy sarcastically snapped his fingers in his other hand in mock disappointment as Violet raised a challenging brow at him.

"I mean, whew, am I glad you're not." Buddy re-answered with a cheesy grin which earned some snickers from his friends as Violet just chuckled and shook her head.

"I'm gonna go back out and check out the cordials with the cart and warm back up, you guys can stay and pick out beer, help him pick out something you guys will like and enjoy on Saturday." Violet offered sweetly before she excused herself and Buddy immediately missed her by his side.

"Dude!" Keith quietly congratulated as he came and did the handshake hug with Buddy.

"Bud, be careful, you're playing with fire." Greg warned as he did the same.

"I know there's a risk for both of us, that's why we're just friends." Buddy reassured Greg.

"You didn't look "just friends" when we came in, you guys looked like 'cute couple' and even 'wow what's a dime like her doing with a nickel like him'." Keith murmured as he got to work getting some really good beers for Buddy to take to Violet which earned a humph from Buddy.

"Really? I'm a five." Buddy deadpanned.

"Four, five was generous." Greg added with a playful punch to the shoulder as Buddy gave him an unimpressed look.

"Sad part is I agree. So what beers should we get?" Buddy asked.

"Oh Dragon's Milk for sure. We need to cover the bases, we need to get a good stout or two, perhaps a porter, maybe a couple of lagers and pilsners and IPA's to round it out." Keith urged as he started pulling out what looked good.

"You and craft beers." Greg just shook his head at Keith who started handing him six packs and four packs before he handed the others to Buddy to hold.

"Yeah, but I'm grateful because anything other than whiskey or vodka and I'm lost." Buddy shrugged.

"Speaking of how are you doing with that?" Greg asked.

"Doing good, surprisingly." Buddy answered honestly.

"Well with a tall glass of water like the one you're with. I'd think you'd want to stay sober so you don't miss a second of her." Keith answered before he snagged two dessert beers himself.

"This is true." Buddy agreed with a fond grin.

"You know, even though she's kind of off limits. She did look pretty happy with you and vice versa. Whenever I see her with Phillip, she looks so serious and looks like she's just always on and always working and can't relax. With you it's like she's just hanging out and it's a lot more casual." Keith appraised.

"And you would be absolutely right and that's why she likes hanging out with me more than him." Buddy grinned victoriously.

"Just don't screw the pooch by screwing the boss' pet." Greg warned.

"Like I said, just friends...so far." Buddy admitted as he tried to keep his smile in check because the thought of anything more was too much to hope for yet strangely well within reach.

"So you've thought about it." Greg prodded.

"Yeah, I mean I'm still alive and have a pulse don't I?" Buddy returned as his friends hummed and murmured their agreement to that sentiment.

"Yeah I thought I saw your smile grow a little brighter when she held your hand and teased you like a proper girlfriend." Keith grinned.

"Ok, I don't know about you guys but I'm freezing my ass off in here, can we be done? Please?" Buddy requested before Keith grabbed one more.

"Yes, now we're done." Keith assured him as the three managed to get out and look through the store for Violet who was perusing the cheeses because the liquor store had a couture snack market to go with all the wine and spirits and had a really good selection and was putting some cheeses and crackers together and was getting hit on by some guy who was trying to lean into her personal space while he spit his best game at her and judging by her own body language, she was doing what she could to ignore him.

"Here's your chance, play her boyfriend and scare off the creeper, do it, do it, do it!" Keith urged in an excited whisper to Buddy who was already picking up his steps to come to her rescue.

"Honey? You pick out the cheeses you wanted?" Buddy took a chance and asked as he slipped the beer into the cart next to her and the smile Violet gave him was pure magic.

"Almost, I can't decide between the brie and the camembert. Did you guys get enough beer?" Violet giggled as Keith and Greg unloaded their beers into the cart too as she held up the cheeses in question to Buddy.

"I think we should get both." Buddy decided.

"Very smart decision Dear. I knew there was a reason I married you." Violet cooed as she stole into his side after she slipped them into the basket of the cart with the others.

"Oh, I..I didn't see a…" the guy tried to say as he started backing up at the sight of Buddy and his friends around him and knew he was outmanned and outgunned.

"Oh it's at the jewelers, one of the accent diamonds was coming loose." Violet waived off. "You ready to check out Handsome?" Violet urged Buddy as she practically moved Buddy into place pushing the cart so she could still wrap her hand around the crook of his elbow as he pushed it.

"If you are Darlin." Buddy answered as he followed her lead.

"Then let's go." Violet agreed as they walked to the check out as Violet let her head fall on Buddy's shoulder as they waited in line before she kissed his shoulder.

"Thanks for the save." Violet thanked him as she let her lips linger there and the utter delight in her eyes had Buddy hoping and praying and wishing on every lucky star he had that one day he'd make that a reality.

"You're welcome." Buddy answered before he took a chance and kissed her forehead sweetly which practically made her beam a happy smile at him as Keith and Greg knew then, that there were serious sparks there and were torn between being happy for their friend yet terrified for them both.

"You guys are gonna help us load all this up right?" Violet put to Keith and Greg who were buying their own packs of beer as they stood in line behind Violet and Buddy.

"Yeah, of course." They agreed from their place behind them and once through the line, the guys did their best "Tetris" it all into the back of Violet's SUV with everything else they had bought.

"Guys, it would be appreciated if not a word is breathed about what happened in there." Buddy reminded his friends as Violet was happy and relieved that he said something instead of her having to.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Greg answered.

"I didn't even know anything even happened." Keith shrugged.

"Thanks guys." Violet answered appreciatively as Buddy smiled proudly.

"Well, say hi to the missus' from us. See you Saturday guys." Buddy bid them before he opened the door for Violet to get in the SUV before going around and getting in it himself and was pleasantly surprised when Violet laced her fingers in his after he got the SUV in gear.

"Thank you for saying something to them, it meant that I didn't have to slip back into Ms. Parr and could just stay Violet." Violet thanked him in a soft murmur but her adoring smile was utterly divine.

"I didn't want that to happen either, if there's anything I can say or do to keep you as Violet, doesn't matter who I'm with, just let me know." Buddy returned as he chanced a gentle squeeze to her hand and was happy when she squeezed back but made no move to remove her hand from his.

"So where did you want to go out to dinner?" Buddy asked.

"Ok, I know another really good place." Violet answered as he gave him directions on where to go where she brought him to a dim sum/tapas place that was run by a couple where the wife was Chinese and her husband was from Spain and it worked beautifully as Violet once again ordered off both menus in both languages since their server was the couple's daughter and was herself trilingual, flipping from one to the other flawlessly to get all her favorites and Buddy was utterly enchanted to see her smile so excitedly and once all the food came out and soon covered every surface of the table and the dim sum had to be triple stacked because the tapas couldn't be, Buddy just beamed a proud smile to see her do a happy dance as she uncovered everything before she went around and identified everything that she ordered before she got her own plate and began getting one of everything, using her chopsticks like a pro before going for the soup dumplings first and walked Buddy through trying to eat them without burning his mouth before they alternated between the tapas and dim sum, slowly but surely getting through most of it, and making sure to at least try one of everything and Buddy felt he would have to loosen his belt and ate until he was just about stuffed.

"Ok, we have to get one more, it's a dessert dumpling." Violet said as she waived down the waitress and ordered what she wanted before she nodded and left again.

"I don't know if I could eat much more Vi." Buddy admitted as he took a breath, and tried not to belch too loudly.

"Just one more bite, find that extra pocket everyone keeps for dessert and get it ready to receive amazingness." Violet urged as she organized what they would be taking home in leftovers in the to-go boxes and in a few moments one last steamer box was brought out and Buddy could smell chocolate.

"Behold, chocolate soup dumplings, with chocolate, Nutella and bananas." Violet revealed as she took the top off as Buddy oohed. Then he carefully got the little pillow of mochi dough surrounding the gooey center and Buddy melted in his seat when he bit into it.

"See? Best last bite." Violet urged as she began to bire into one of her own.

"Do you know how to make this?" Buddy asked.

"Yes I do. The mochi dough is hard but the filling is easy." Violet answered as she finished hers just about the same time Buddy did.

"Do you want another or are you good?" Violet asked.

"I'm good, now if I take another bite, I'll pop." Buddy admitted.

"Wouldn't want that to happen." Violet replied with a fond smile before she checked the time.

"Well, we have two hours before our 12 hours of freedom is up. How do you want to spend it?" Violet asked.

"I don't care. However you want to spend it." Buddy returned.

"Could you do me a favor?" Violet asked thoughtfully as she tilted her head curiously.

"Name it." Buddy furthered.

"As sad and shallow as this is going to sound, I have not hung out socially with anyone except for other "gifted" individuals. In...well in years and being from a "gifted" family, all they know are other "gifted" people too and with other gifted people, you don't worry about hiding your gifts cause everyone has them and we always play and try to one up each other. So to try to be "normal" yet feel comfortable is going to be especially hard for me. It's going to be a challenge for me to stay Violet especially when I'm around anyone and everyone, but you, as Ms. Parr or simply "Vi" with my family. So...would you help me pick something to wear? Like set the tone, something actually casual but nice but not...intimidating. Because Ms. Parr is always commanding and intimidating wherever she goes and I don't want to be like that with your friends cause they'll never feel comfortable around me and if they're not comfortable, it's going to ruin it and this is your first social visit and I want it to go well and I don't want to ruin it for you. And I would ask Jack but he would see to it that I come in head to toe designer labels." Violet confessed lowly as they once again leaned across the table so they could drop their voices and have a private conversation despite the very busy restaurant.

"Of course." Buddy agreed.

"Awesome, then let me pay for dinner and we'll go." Violet offered and once they got their things, Violet directed Buddy to one of the high rise apartment buildings in town. Not the most luxurious, but close.

"Ok, now go to the tenth floor of the parking garage and park in parking space 10245." Violet directed as Buddy did as she asked, still not letting go of her hand as he drove his way up the parking garage. Not surprised when he saw a sea of Mercedes Benz, BMW's, Land Rovers and even some classic cars and sports cars before he found the right spot and parked her SUV into it before they got out and walked into the building where a doorman let them in from behind tinted glass of the entry way.

"Good evening Ms. Parr."

"Good evening James, how's Linda faring today?" Violet returned politely.

"She's doing better, thanks for asking." He answered before he looked questioningly from Violet to Buddy.

"Awesome, this is my guest Mr. Bartholomew Pine, This is Mr. James Conner. " Violet introduced before the two shook hands inside the entryway.

"Welcome to Sky Way, Mr. Pine." James said as he opened the door both of them as Violet came into the building and into the lobby of the floor.

"Good evening Ms. Parr." The receptionist greeted cheerfully.

"Good evening Samantha, how are you this evening?" Violet politely greeted.

"I'm doing great, thanks for asking, you have three packages today. Let me go get those for you from cold storage." She said as she quickly left and went into the office behind the desk and promptly returned with three packages, which were chilled before Buddy offered to carry them for Violet which Violet was grateful for before Buddy went with Violet to her apartment where she opened the door for him so he could get in and Violet blew out a breath of relief when she could tell that the "spiders" were still sleeping in her apartment.

"You can put them on the island." Violet directed as she got her actual mail that had been scattered on the floor since it overflowed the little mail basket and threw a small forcefield around all of it and pulled it back to her hand.

"That's a neat trick." Buddy commented as he passed her in the little hallway.

"Thanks, Jack calls it my 'yo-yo' powers. It comes in pretty handy so I don't have to bend over and pick anything up off the floor." Violet murmured a little distractedly as she looked over her mail and sighed as she began to look through it and started to organize it according to what it was before she used her powers to yo-yo two letter openers into her hand once they both came to stand at her kitchen island.

"You get the packages, I get the mail." Violet offered as she handed him one of them.

"Ok." Buddy agreed and took it and started opening her boxes which were all meal kits, which was why they were in cold storage to keep the contents fresh before he put all the food away for her as Violet opened her mail as she opened her bills first and looked those over before she opened all her other mail, ignoring the junk mail and going straight to the checks and opened those before she got a pen from a drawer in the island and signed the checks then got her phone out and took pictures of her checks to deposit them into her accounts directly before she put the checks into an envelope with the date written on the envelope to signify which checks she got which days before she put the envelope into a filing cabinet under the month folder.

Buddy couldn't help but notice that her income was far exceeding her expenses but kept his observations to herself as he realized her apartment was just as nice, if not nicer than his own apartment space. Quite luxurious and modern actually.

"You have a nice apartment." Buddy praised.

"Thanks, I'm never here enough to enjoy it, I only sleep here and eat about two meals a week here. Phillip insisted that I stay at a "safe, protected and respectable" place, so that left either here or a place at Green Gardens or Garden Square where he owns the penthouse there and that was way too close to comfort for me. Besides it has a spider and a mole problem and in two years when I'm not working for Phillip, I'll very happily be walking away from it." Violet answered as she took off her jacket and put it into the closet.

"I can take your jacket." Violet offered before Buddy took off his jacket and handed it to her.

"A mole problem?" Buddy repeated.

"Yeah not only does this place have thirty something "spiders" but the door men at both the ground level and this floor and half the reception staff and every single one of my neighbors on all sides are on Phillip's payroll to keep tabs on me and if I had to guess Phillip just got either two calls or texts or whatever saying that I've taken you to my place and so the spiders are about to wake up here, any minute." Violet predicted as she closed her eyes and focused on them around the place.

"Jeeze. Yeah, gilded cage." Buddy realized as he looked around and suddenly frowned at all of it, wondering where the spiders had their webs.

"Yup. So, let's go to my closet." Violet urged as Buddy followed her to her frankly gorgeous bedroom before she opened up a door that led to the most amazing walk in closet that was practically full of gorgeous dressy business clothes, handbags and heels before Buddy noticed that Violet stopped and stared at a little sliver of regular looking clothes before she took them all off the rack and then laid them over the bed before she decided to try to pull just a few of her more flattering blouses.

"Too much?" Violet asked as she held them out for Buddy as she held them in front of herself.

"No, like if you were to pair that with a pair of jeans it would be just fine. Granted Tammy, Lisa and Beth are probably going to dress up just a little bit too. You don't have to compete with them and you don't have to be the most beautiful woman in the room, I mean you will be no matter what, but that's just my opinion, but this isn't a competition. Just be Violet. Wear what you would if you were hosting a get together at your place with people you're comfortable with. Wear what you would be comfortable in. Remember almost all of them have kids and kids are messy so don't wear anything that won't be the end of the world if Beth's baby throws up on you or the kids decide to finger paint you with ketchup or something." Buddy explained as Violet just smiled appreciatively at him.

"Well, these are dry clean only, so something washable." Violet decided as she put them back and went through her other blouses before she came across one of her favorites that would 1. Make her look beautiful. 2. Was machine washable. 3. Not too dressy and it would go with the necklace Buddy had gotten for her that she had yet to take off.

"This." Violet decided before she held it up to her jeans before she found a nice pair of jeans to go with it.

"Perfect." Buddy nodded in approval.

"Are you sure it's not too dressy?" Violet questioned.

"You'll be fine. Honestly you could show up in just a plain t shirt and jeans and be fine." Buddy reassured her.

"Well, ok, well how about I pack, this and...this. Just in case Beth's baby practically leaks out of every orifice." Violet decided as she gathered what she wanted and put them into a small duffle bag before throwing in some unmentionables quickly from her dresser as Buddy simply sat on the bench at the foot of her bed and contentedly watched as she got what she wanted from around the room as he fantasized about how she would pack if they were actually together and he had told her that he was taking them away on vacation as he thought of all the places he would like to take her as he started to fidget with the skin around his left ring finger, wondering what kind of wedding ring she would get him if they ever did or could get married. He remembered fantasizing the same thing with Tali. But part of him was grateful that she had turned him down, because if she hadn't he would have never grown out of his obsession. And would have she been truly happy with him? Especially the person he was back then? Or would she have felt the way Violet felt about Phillip? Grin and bear it and then bolt at the first opportunity as he realized what had been Tali's breaking point. When he had shot down the plane that had them all on it. He had been so hell bent on revenge on Mr. Incredible that he hadn't even felt the slightest bit of guilt or shame in ordering to kill kids. He had no respect for the sanctity of life, especially young and innocent life and how much he deserved what he had gotten. He had earned it. That was for sure.

"You ok?" Violet asked as she noticed Buddy get withdrawn as he seemed to stare off into space before she settled next to him and reached out and held his hand again and brought him out of it.

"Yeah." Buddy took a deep breath and tried to clear his head of his accusing thoughts.

"Just deep in thought." Buddy tried to brush off.

"About what?" Violet asked curiously.

"The spiders are still sleeping." Violet whispered as she decided to rest her chin on his shoulder again and give him a curious look.

"Just wondering how close the parallels are between Tali and I and you and Phillip." Buddy confessed and Violet took a deep breath through her nose.

"Would you be surprised to learn not a lot?" Violet returned.

"I was an asshole, how could she stand me?" Buddy questioned, almost rhetorically before Violet lifted her head and just shook her head with a fond grin of her lips.

"Because of who she was at the time herself. You were strong and powerful and knew how to throw your weight around and she felt that you were simply misunderstood and she was genuinely attracted to all of that, especially when you treated her like a goddess and catered to her every need, want and whim and she was bound and determined to turn the two of you into a powerhouse couple. Be the next Beyoncé and Jay-Z but of the tech world. She appreciated your genius and knew it would just be a matter of time before the rest of the world recognized and appreciated it too and she was in it for the long haul. And if you hadn't tried to blow me and my family up and then when we survived how you treated us when you captured us, even as kids. Those were the steps too far and really bothered her conscience as they should have anyone. Otherwise she would have stayed. But messing with kids was her line in the sand as is mine. And when you stomped on it, that shook her hard enough to really see you for who you really were in that moment and it made her question if her genuine attraction was to you or to everything around you and question if it was worth it and she decided it wasn't. So she acted accordingly." Violet explained, not sugar coating it but telling him the truth, but still trying to be tactful.

"She made the right choice." Buddy concluded.

"She did." Violet nodded, proud of him for seeing that too.

"But the biggest difference is, her relationship with you was built on genuine, mutual respect that grew from there. Phil's relationship with me isn't. It's built off of power and control and manipulation and secrets and lies on both sides and Phillip adores Invisigirl and Ms. Parr -which is what his own fantasy of who I am is- that I have to live up to whether it's real or not and it doesn't matter how much I like it or hate it, it's part of the performance and he's happy with the act and buys the performance over and over again and he's never bothered to get to know Violet, the real Violet anyway. But you have, so our relationship is built off of um, let's see…." Violet took a deep breath and sighed as she brought his hand into her lap to consider how nicely their fingers interlaced together as she once again was drawn to all the scars on his hand as she couldn't help but trace them as she searched her thoughts and feelings for a moment.

"I feel ours is built on genuine mutual respect, honesty, understanding, sympathy and empathy and kindness. Which all good relationships should have and be built on to begin with, no matter what kind of relationship it is. And it's why it works as well as it does. Even with our shared history." Violet honestly appraised as Buddy carefully considered her words and was elated that it was even that much.

"What do you think?" Violet posed as she turned to him and looked at him curiously.

"I agree. Even though I'm not all that respectable, I'm a…"

"Don't. Don't start down that self deprecating pity party of a path. You're better than that and it's not fair to the guy you are now. In the past you were misguided and self righteous and vengeful. And then Karma handed you your ass and you humbly took the beating. And it's what you did after and since- that's mattered and it's what you're doing now that matters the most and who you are in this moment that matters too. Especially to me. Forgive yourself for the rest. I know I have." Violet appraised as the two shared a meaningful look and just as Violet gave his lips a glance as Buddy did the same and was seriously considering kissing her, her eyes went wide and she withdrew and bolted a few steps from him.

"Spiders are waking up." Violet whispered as she did her best to look and act "natural" again but even Buddy could see, the Violet he adored, shrunk back and Ms. Parr stepped back into the fore, he saw it in her posture and body language and Buddy was once again filled with anger and resentment towards Phillip, for doing such a thing to her. She deserved better than to live in fear, even in her own private space. Which should be sacred.

"Well, it's about that time Mr. Pine, we should be heading back, thanks for all your help." Violet thanked him as she put the bag over her shoulder and held onto it tightly as Buddy got up and left with her again and even in her SUV, Violet stayed withdrawn and eerily quiet as Buddy drove them back to SEB and the whole way over Buddy just got more and more angry and resentful to Phillip.

Violet stowed her bag of clothes in Buddy's room, in the closet before she helped Buddy unload everything else from her SUV and it was almost enjoyable to see and feel them slipping back into such domestic tasks in an effortless tandem. Even as mundane as putting away groceries was. But even Buddy could tell that Violet stayed withdrawn as Ms. Parr had taken over fully again because there was a surgical precision to her movements. She was trying to get things done as quickly and thoroughly as she could. Just a step below rushing before Buddy simply stopped and held her hands.

"The spiders won't always be around." Buddy breathed.

"I know. It's hard to know when they'll go to sleep again." Violet answered, her words barely a whisper before she reluctantly pulled her hands from his with an apologetic look as she finished what she needed to.

"Thanks for today though, I'll see you in the morning Mr. Pine." Violet said as she put her shoes back on before she left and drove home and finished putting her mail away and broke down her boxes and put them in a closet where she kept spare boxes to ship things out and was grateful that the "spiders" in her own apartment had been put back to sleep before she got ready for bed, brushing her hair and braiding it so it wouldn't tangle in her sleep and when she went to bed, she thought over all the events of the day in her head and actually smiled softly in the darkness. Buddy had been amazing, all day, and for him to slip into 'boyfriend/husband' at the liquor store had been so natural for both of them. Had her wishing maybe someday...because she couldn't deny or dismiss the feelings she had started to develop for him. It had started off as just two birds in side by side cages, sharing a toy or two. And it developed and bloomed from there. Natalia had even said that she had always been surprised when her attachment to Buddy had seemingly grown overnight and how one day she was his employee, and the next, she was his everything in all things. And how that seemed for her to be the same. One day, he was an an enemy, the next- an obligation and objective, the day after, an acquaintance, the next day he was a friend, and the day after that it felt like he was so much more but she was so scared of putting any names or labels on any of it because she didn't want to try to force it into anything or cut it into shape before it could fully sprout. She was genuinely curious to see how much more this would develop and bloom, like a growing vine despite the concrete around it.

But there was the issue of his name. Buddy wasn't exactly the most romantic name to call out during the throws of passion, Bud was informal but not quite right, although all his friends called him Bud. Buddy was a little infantilizing. Buddy is what you called other little boys on the playground when you didn't know their names. Bart was too old. Barret could possibly work before she got her phone and looked up common nicknames for Bartholomew. Barty was ridiculous. Tolly was too much like Tali. So that left...Barly, possible, but maybe too similar to barley, the grain, Barret, kind of like the gun, but it was the only good alternative she could like. But she needed something other than dead give away pet names, like Honey, Darling, Baby, Sweetie, Handsome that kind of thing that Phillip would immediately flag and get jealous and suspicious over, but still something a little more intimate than 'Bud' . Something she could use that was special but not something that would make others look at her strangely if she started to use it. It would be good on Raid days to call him something to go with Violet or Vi. Violet still came to the conclusion that Barret was as good as it was going to get because Barret and Violet did go together. Maybe he had something he preferred? Maybe something to do with his middle name. Maybe. But for now, she just needed sleep.

Violet found herself walking through another very luxurious home like space, normally, such a thing would make her a little nervous but she wasn't because Buddy was with her and held her hand as he excitedly showed her everything and explained what was what. And she was dressed casually and happily walked around barefoot as the windows were open and there was a warm breeze and bright sunshine coming in from all the windows, most of which were open and she could almost hear the ocean and to see him so animated and excited as she showed it off made her happy that he was happy. And that's all that mattered.

"And this is the bedroom, it has the best views." Buddy insisted as he opened the double doors for her before he brought her into the space as Violet softly gasped. It was even prettier than any bedroom she had ever seen in any magazine.

"We need to check out the bed." Buddy immediately hopped up on the bed, his own bare feet sinking into the softness of the mattress and the covers as he held out his hand to beckon her before she stood up on it with him before he started to bounce which got her to laugh as she started bouncing too before the two of them were outright jumping and bouncing all over the bed, laughing their asses off before they happily fell down and crashed into the bed on their backs next to each other as their laughter eventually died down.

"So what do you think of the house?" Buddy asked as they rolled to face each other.

"I love it. Even if you had not designed and practically built it yourself, and even if we had just bought it, I would still love it." Violet insisted as the two scooted closer to each other until they were chest to chest with Buddy's hand softly stroking down her back and her side as Violet reached around him and scratched his back, dipping her hands under his shirt to scratch at his bare skin, which earned her an appreciative keen from him as he rolled over her slightly to one- pin her to the bed, two- give her more access to his back.

"Really? You're not just saying that?" Buddy asked.

"I mean every word of it. Honest. It's perfect, you did so good, I'm so proud of you." Violet cooed before he dipped her head and kissed her happily as she kissed him back with all she was worth as the two of them seemed to follow a familiar pattern and chain of events as they pulled down the covers down as they tried to bare the other before they were finally rejoined.

"I'm not hurting you or the baby am I?" Buddy asked as he palmed her belly which had barely bulged as he positioned himself over her and began stroking himself into her.

"No, you're not, you're fine, I'm just happy the house is done before they come." Violet reassured him as she pulled him to herself so she could feel more of his body weight anchoring her in all the ways she needed it to before he continued.

"Me too." Buddy cooed in her ear before he playfully bit it before blazing a trail from her ear down her neck to her shoulder as Violet keened and sighed happily, letting him do as he pleased as she was all too happy to receive his affections as he poured all the love he possessed into her as she did the same.

#Why So Jaded #Why So Jaded Chapter 8 #Synlet #Buddy Pine #Violet Parr

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mcfreakin-bxtch · 4 years ago

Note

Could you make a Diego Hargreeves x reader where she is number 3 and her power is like a banshee? Where she is part of the Sparrow Academy. When she meets Diego she falls for him and him for her, but he is still thinks about Lila so he’s kinda weary of starting something with the reader

I took a little inspiration from Teen Wolf’s Lydia’s banshee powers because I MISS HER

Also this is unedited so I apologize for any mistakes.

***

You had no idea that your life was going to get a lot more interesting until Diego Hargreeves and the rest of the Umbrella Academy showed up at your home—their home, too, in another timeline.

Out of all of them, Klaus and Vanya were deemed the kindest to you at first. After some time, Allison joined in with her wide smile, and Five and Luther would continue to give you the side looks every now and then, making sure you didn’t scream them to death—being a banshee put them all at edge, never have dealt with such a folklore power before.

And then there was Diego.

He was just as timid towards you and your family, of course. It’s been at least a week now since they’ve came, and the most he’s said to you is,

“Try anything and I’ll end you.”

He said this in what you assumed was his best impression of a ‘macho man’.

“Please,” you snorted, crossing your arms over your chest in annoyance. “Don’t give me a reason to.”

He raised his eyebrows in surprise and looked you over once more before nodding and brushing past you; he smelled wonderful, as much as you hated to admit it.

He didn’t talk to you for a while after that, not that you expected him to. So it definitely catches you off guard when he approaches you with broad steps just as you’re about to walk out the door of the mansion.

“Where’re you heading?” He asks—it sounds almost nervous to you, but you don’t say anything on it.

“Um...” You shift on your feet, suddenly nervous yourself now and you don’t even know why. “Um I’m going to Griddy’s Doughnuts.”

He nods. “I used to go there too sometimes. Wouldn’t mind checking the place out again, if y-you don’t mind.”

Your heart skipped a beat and your eyes start to widen. “Y-yeah, of course.”

He gives you a small smile and indicated with a tilt of his head for you to proceed. You shake your head and laugh breathlessly, not believing this is actually happening.

“So, and I hope you don’t mind me asking,” you clear your throat. “but how did you actually get here?”

Diego chuckles, and you find it to be a nice sound.

“Kinda a long story.” He shrugs absentmindedly.

“We got time,” you offer with a smile.

The corner of his lips twitch. “You’re in for a ride, then.”

The rest of the short walk there is filled with questions upon questions and more insight of The Umbrella Academy. And when you walk inside the diner and order the usual for yourself, while Diego just orders a coffee, you start to feel really giddy inside.

“And what was her name again?” You ask as you sit down in your favorite booth, Diego sitting right across from you. “That girl that you met at the hospital, the one with that’s like us.”

His face immediately falls, just like it did when he very briefly described his time at the hospital when he was stuck in Dallas.

“You don’t have to tell me if it’s making you uncomfortable or anything,” you backtrack.

His eyes meet back at yours, like you had just woken him up out of a daze. He shakes his head and—to your surprise—gives you a tight lipped smile before leaning more towards you; almost like someone telling their friend a secret.

“No it’s o-o—” he stops and takes a deep breath with his eyes shut quickly tight before they reopen. “—it’s okay. Her name was Lila and we uh... we were sorta together b-before she took off.”

Ah. It makes sense now.

You’re not upset, not by any means. You mean yeah, he’s incredibly handsome and actually really kind and funny once he opens up, and you like that he kept the medium locks along with the beard because, well, it looks sexy on him; and you know now that underneath all the hard exterior, there’s actually a kindred soul.

But there was no reason to feel a sting to your chest.

“I’m sorry,” you find yourself whispering.

“Nothing to be sorry for,” he takes a sip of his drink. Then quirks his eyebrow. “Did I tell you that Luther and I harassed an old lady on accident because we don’t know Swedish?”

Your cheeks puff out in a laugh, not expecting him to say that; you realize that he’s changing the subject, but you don’t mind one bit.

What makes it better, too, is that your laugh brings a warm smile to his face and his dark eyes start to lighten up.

***

Your friendship with Diego has grown since then.

It took him a while until he started to feel more comfortable sharing stories with you, or asking you to join him in more outings—Griddy’s, random food places that are miraculously in the middle of the night (morning), more late night talks in the confines of your sound proof room or hey, maybe a little bit of crime fighting here and there; like your own versions of Batman and Robin.

And now the only problem, really, is that you’re pretty positive that you’ve fallen for him. Hard.

When he walks into a room, your stomach erupts in butterflies, and they become even more rowdy when he spots you and smiles. Every day, you look forward to seeing him and him only, and when he starts talking quietly about his life or about that new knife you got him, your heart feels like it’s about to burst through your chest.

It’s like a breath of fresh air when you’re with him, knowing that you can give him pieces of yourself without judgement. By now, he knows your favorite order at Griddy’s, knows what kind of music you like to listen to—always picking them out in playlists when you’re driving around in your car, no destination in mind, or when you have a bad day—he knows how you like to sleep and what comforts you when the voices in your head starts to become overwhelming.

But there’s still Lila.

She’s here, even when she’s physically not, in the way he sometimes talks about her, or when something reminds him of her. It hurts, especially when he sees something in you that makes him crawl back into his shell.

And Diego (you see the way his eyes trail over you when he thinks no one is looking, and the way his eyes sparkle when he’s talking to you, or when he starts to feel low, the first person he comes to is you) is understandably hesitant when something does feel like it’s going to happen.

“No way,” you laughed, clutching your stomach. “He really said that?”

“Yup,” Diego chuckled. “Never seen Luther’s face get so red like that before in my life, should’ve been there to see it.”

You sighed, lying back on your pillows, Diego resting his head on your thigh with his legs crossed and feet hanging lowly over your bed. You crossed your arms over your stomach and wiggled, trying to get comfortable.

“Stop moving,” he grumbled. When you looked down, his eyes were closed.

You smiled at the peaceful expression, at the crease lines that were relaxed and his chest moving up and down in deep breaths.You felt that pang in your chest again, the same one when he smiles at you, and your hand twitched in a sudden urge to run your fingers through his hair.

“Stop staring,” he grumbled louder.

You chuckled. “Falling asleep on me there?” Literally.

His face scrunched up adorably. “Just resting my eyes.”

“Oh,” you raised your eyebrows and grinned.

He kept his eyes shut and if anything settled deeper into the mattress, resting his hands over his stomach. After a few more minutes of silence, you finally decided you were going to do the same and just take a nap.

And you would’ve if you wouldn’t have felt something gnawing at you within the first moments of closing your eyes.

Your heart stopped, as did your breathing, and every good and bad thing that can come from you opening your eyes flooded through you.

What’s going to happen after?

After deciding to throw all caution to the wind, you cracked one eye opened with baited breath.

You didn’t know what to expect, honestly.

His eyes immediately met yours as they opened slowly, an expression so sincere and quizzical and something else, something that gave you hope. The hand that was once on his stomach settled by your thigh, right where your right hand was resting, the barely there contact already scorching through your core.

He abruptly sat up, startling you as you watched with wide eyes, feeling your stomach turn in knots when he ran his hand through his locks and could barely look back at you.

“I-I’m s-s-sorry,” he stammered.

Before you could assure him that he did nothing wrong and that it was okay, the door shut and you were left in an empty room, tears stinging in the back of your throat.

That incident happened a few days ago, and ever since then Diego has barely made an effort to talk to you or even look at you.

Yeah, it makes you feel a little dejected and pissed off that he didn’t just come talk to you about it, but it’s like you said before, you understand why he’s holding you at arms length.

Plus, you don’t even know if he does like you in that way, but you can’t deny the awkwardness and tension that hangs over the two of you when he starts to remember.

So that’s why, when you see him walking around a corner of the house, you pounce on him.

“Look,” you say as he opens his mouth, a hint of annoyance laced in his features. “I understand that you’re still not over Lila, and... and I don’t know about you, but I do have... feelings for you, but I don’t want you thinking that you have to force or pressure yourself or distance yourself because of it.” He doesn’t say anything, instead opts to watching you intently like he’s mapping your soul out, trying to detect any traces of a lie. “If you don’t feel the same way, then that’s fine, I would still love to be friends I just—”

You’re trying to figure out on what else to say, anything that can make this easier for him, when you feel rough, calloused hands on your hands, bringing them in between the little space between you.

You look up and it’s like he’s hung the moon above you, and his eyes are shimmering with unshed tears that you want to wipe and kiss away.

He says your name, so softly that it melts your heart. “I... thank you.”

You can only nod; your throat feels like it’s tightening under the weight of your emotions.

He sighs and steps closer to you so that the tip of your nose just touches his chest. “It hasn’t b-been easy,” he continues quietly. “And it was wrong of me to ignore you like that. I should’ve talked to you when I started to realize that I was f-falling for you, too.” You stomach erupts with those butterflies, and a smile so wide that it aches spreads across your cheek.

“Really?” You give his hands a gentle squeeze.

“Yeah,” he nods, taking a deep breath. “I just need some time.”

“I understand,” you tell him sincerely. “Whatever you need, I’m here.”

That wide, goofy smile that you’ve grown to love so fucking much graces you in a new light. “How about I take you to that ice cream shop we passed last time. As a way to apologize and—and m-maybe as a first date?”

You want to pinch yourself just to make sure that this is real, but you know that it has to be, because he feels so warm and there’s no way you can conjure up something so beautiful and precious in front of you; you know, that no matter the struggles you’ll have to endure, it’ll be worth it.

“I’d love that.”

Tags: @justlovetoreadfics, @lil-baby27, @mando-vibes, @beepbeepyabitch, @that-void-witch, @im-the-music-whore, @certifiedhunter, @softpedropascal, @domino-oh-damn, @okaydacre, @lemongrove, @olyamoriarty, @pcrushinnerd, @elusive-ivory, @dizzydazed, @bluejeancntrygrl, @dadzawas-eyebags, @parody-the-emi, @evalynanne, @purplewaterbird, @vikingqueen28, @tedpicklez, @blunt-cake-yes, @agoldin, @lustriix, @readsalot73, @kateb013, @eupphoriaaa, @imalovernotahater, @everything-lost-and-unsaid, @dlmafa1, @hoodedbirdie, @drunkenliterary, @fioccodineveautunnale, @fangirlfree, @mrsparknuts, @amarvelousmandalorian, @ironheart-hanako, @sando-rann, @imalovernotahater, @meganoid1997, @adikaofmandalore, @cahooter, @charliepeaceout, @dreamgirl-67, @phoenixhalliwell, @acrylics-and-sunshine, @sunkissed-winter, @tortles

#diego hargreeves #i still suck at endings #also im excited to see the sparrow academy but dont want to assume too much about them so here's my vagueness #diego hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves x you #the umbrella academy #request

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aaltjelng · 4 years ago

Text

so the lovely @languagessi sent me an ask with the numbers for the ask game but i managed to accidentally delete the ask:)) well, i decided to try to answer anyway, hopefully i remembered the numbers right haha... so here are the answers!

12. Vocab or grammar?

It’s a tough question! I guess it kind of depends on the language... I am utterly in love with Korean grammar! It might sound strange but I just find studying it so fascinating and rewarding. It also feels really nice to finally be learning a language that shares some traits with Finnish (no articles, a lot of suffixes...) I find studying Korean grammar a lot nicer than for example French grammar (although I do like that too!), mostly because I struggle a lot with remembering the genders of nouns and that makes me frustrated, and articles and genders feel kind of unnecessary to me as a Finnish speaker whereas the nuances that can be expressed through Korean grammar are really interesting.

I don’t have such strong opinions on vocab. In the beginning I did find it hard to remember Korean vocab and I still struggle with that a bit, but it’s getting better and better all the time. I think I like learning vocab the most when studying Swedish! I don’t know why, but I guess it just feels like it sticks more easily. I do love some Korean, especially native Korean words with all my heart... And learning vocab can feel super rewarding: that feeling when you spot a word you just learned in a random text and realize you can actually understand what it is saying is really the best feeling.

23. How did you get into languages?

Honestly I have loved languages for as long as I can remember. When my brother started learning English at school at the age of 9 (I was 7), I secretly listened to him and our mom studying. I also stole his English books and secretly read them by myself and tried to study.

After that I did have some time that I was just studying at school, I was always good at it but not as enthusiastic as I am now. It clicked in 2017 when I was 13 years old and I just started studying Swedish on my own. We had it in school too, but I was frustrated with how slow we were going. Somehow I just thought about the idea of studying and speaking this language and languages in general and it just made me really excited and happy. It is really difficult to explain but languages really bring out this certain feeling in me and that feeling has stayed with me since that year.

24. Why are you studying your target language?

So I actually have four target languages right now: French, Swedish, Italian and Korean. English is also a foreign language for me but I am not really interested in improving my English level as of now.

Out of these four languages, I am now actively trying to improve my Korean, while the other three are more or less on “maintenance mode”. I study those three at school as well so I am still using and studying them, just not with the same intensity as Korean.

Anyway, here’s a little bit about each of these languages and why I am studying them!

French: I started it at school at the age of 9. It was quite a clear decision for me back then, I was really interested in the language, I had been to France many times and the Dutch side of my family actually originates from France (like hundreds of years ago my ancestors fled persecution from France to the Netherlands). I really loved studying French and my interest has only grown over the years. I love speaking French, I love reading French, I love listening to French and writing in French, and I really want to get my French to an advanced level. I will probably work on my French more actively next year and really try to bring it to C1 level before my matriculation exam. Now my French is somewhere between B1 and B2.

Swedish: I started it at school when I was 12 years old. In Finland Swedish is an obligatory subject so I didn’t actually choose starting it haha but I have always loved Swedish so I was motivated from the start. My aunt lives in Stockholm and I have been there for about 20 times. My mom also loves Swedish and I think she has also been a factor in my love for Swedish. As I said earlier, Swedish is actually the language that inspired me to start actively self studying languages. I just felt so frustrated with the pace we were moving at at school and I just thought to myself: “I learned English more or less fluently mostly with my own effort. Why couldn’t I do that with Swedish too?”. English I had learned because of other factors, not really my enthusiasm about the language or language learning but more because I needed to understand English in order to understand fandom things and books and bands I loved. So I thoguht that, well, books were really the thing that brought my English to a new level, so I should probably do that with Swedish. And so I did that and studied hard and got my Swedish to an intermediate level. I studied actively for about 5 months, after that I’ve just been mostly relying on school. This spring & summer I am planning on taking the next step and bringing my Swedish to an advanced level before my matriculation exam.

Italian: I started studying Italian at school last year with my best friend. She is part Italian and I thought that because I love learning languages and I love her and there is a possibility take Italian, why not take Italian? I also love Italian history and art and Italian is a very significant language in classical music (I am studying to become a classical violinist/violist). So I have been taking Italian for a bit more than a year now and I am around an A2 level. Next year, before the matriculation exam, I’d love to get my Italian to a B2 level or at least a B1 level.

Korean: In the summer 2019 I stumbled across some videos and heard my first songs by BTS. One of them: Paldogangsan or so-called “Satoori rap”. I heard it and just instantly fell in love. It’s a song about Korean dialects, and the way the rap showcased the different sounds of the Korean language... It really inspired me. Well, other things happened in my life, I got depressed, my other psychiatric and neurological issues got worse and so on. Through that time I discovered some truly amazing and touching songs that had lyrics that really moved me to my core, some by BTS but most by Agust D, and I knew I had to learn that language, at least a little bit. At first I just learned hangul to make sure that the lyrics I was scribbling to my diary weren’t complete nonsense. During the following six months I didn’t actively study Korean, I just played with Duolingo here and there, listened to a few beginner TTMIK lessons, acquired some vocabulary I was hearing in songs...

But in May 2020 something just struck me and I just got this sudden burst of inspiration. I realized that if I really wanted to learn this language, what better time to start than now? I guess I had been feeling kind of intimidated, because I knew that learning a language, any language and especially one like Korean would take a long time. But I still remember this one post that I saw on tumblr. It said something about how usually when we think about how long learning a language will take, we feel weirded out about thinking ourselves being that much older. But the thing is, we will get older anyway. Might as well be older and know this language that you deeply love. That idea has stayed with me since. Let’s take one estimate: getting fluent in Korean will take about 4 years. In 4 years I’ll be 21. So? In 4 years I’ll be 21 anyway, why not be a 21 year old who knows Korean. And I also realized that I am still so young. I have so much time to learn so many languages. Might as well use it.

So I have been actively studying by myself for about 6 months and would place myself somewhere around the A2 level. This October I made this challenge for myself: for 100 days, study as hard as you can. Learn as much as you can and do not give up. I really want to see how far I can come if I give this my all! I’m wishing on getting to a B1 level at the end of this challenge but we’ll see. WIth Korean, and I guess with any language, it’s quite easy to get discouraged by thinking how much you still don’t know, so it’s important to also realize how much you already know. I have come so far already during these past 6 months, and I am really proud of myself. That motivates me to keep going: I learned all that, so I can learn these other things too!

Okay hahaha sorry for my very very long post and making you listen to my ramblings in my incoherent English. I just love languages so much and I could talk about them for forever!

Thank you if you read this far, I hope you have a wonderful day. <3

Aleijd

#langblrs unite #langblr #target language #language learning #language #korean #french #bilingual #swedish #italian #polyglot #polyglot problems #français #svenska #한국어 #italiano #finnish #suomi

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sinceileftyoublog · 4 years ago

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Tribulation Interview: Shadow Sounds

Photo by Ester Segarra

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Ever since I saw Swedish goth metal band Tribulation open for the much more outwardly macho Cannibal Corpse and Behemoth in 2015, I’ve been impressed by their steadfast commitment to their spectral aesthetic, even when surrounded by the most brutish of metalheads. Their new album, the appropriately titled Where the Gloom Becomes Sound, feels like the apex of their interests and style: mythological themes, magic sounds, sparkling and rising songs that are as meaty as they are layered and complex. Opener “In Remembrance” begins with spooky arpeggios before chugging drums and guitars kick it into high gear, buoyed by lead singer Johannes Andersson’s icy growls. Creaking piano interludes like “Lethe” are just as essential to the album’s mood as guitar-forward rockers like “Hour of the Wolf” and “Daughter of the Djinn”. And the louder songs don’t so much build to a crescendo as gallop to them on the back of drummer Oscar Leander, falling back gently. Simply speaking, Tribulation can do it all, and Where the Gloom Becomes Sound is just the latest evidence.

Guitarist Jonathan Hultén composed most of the songs on the record but happened to amicably leave the band late last year, replaced by Joseph Tholl from VOJD (who plays on opener “In Remembrance”). The band’s still committed to properly rolling it out, as it’s released on Metal Blade next Friday. Last week, I called guitarist Adam Zaars (who just had a child a month ago and spoke from a Sweden facing some travel restrictions due to both COVID-19 and a large amount of snow) to speak about why Where the Gloom Becomes Sound still feels like an album that belongs to Tribulation as a whole. Read our conversation below, edited for length and clarity.

Since I Left You: The circumstances surrounding the new album are unique, since it was mostly written by Jonathan, and then he left the band. Have you found it difficult to move on from that and take in the album and present it without him?

Adam Zaars: Yes and no. It’s still a Tribulation album. It just so happened that Jonathan wrote more songs on this one. He wrote 7, and I wrote 3. For the previous two albums, we kind of split it 50/50, more or less. The album before that, I did most of it. We still make every song into a Tribulation song at the end of it, as a collective effort, somehow. It still feels like an album with Tribulation songs and not an album with Jonathan’s songs. To that extent, it’s not really that strange. Then again, he did quit, and now we have our new guitar player, Joseph. In a way, I just want to start writing a new album with him and the rest of the guys. [laughs] There’s also that aspect to it, kind of wanting to start something new.

SILY: The context and themes of the record include myths and magic. Do you find it necessary to really dive into that to fully understand or appreciate the album?

AZ: It’s not anything new to us. For some reason, the bio makes it seem like it’s a big thing now. It’s always been [a big thing]. But it’s an apt language, I guess, to use in a Tribulation context. We’re not a political band. We’re trying to express something that’s quite difficult to describe in words. Since we’re doing that with the music, drawing on myth and religion and the like, it just kind of feels like it comes from the same world. That’s really why we’re doing it. It isn’t mundane at all. The opposite, I guess.

SILY: The way you use your instruments, there is a certain magical aspect to it. On “Funeral Pyre”, the guitar takes on an almost theremin-like quality, and on “Leviathans”, the actual sound of the instrumentation is like a leviathan and crashing waves. Did you take those ideas and the love for mysticism all the way into your instrumentation?

AZ: Yeah, kind of. The thing you hear on “Funeral Pyre”, it is a guitar, but we’ve had this idea that we always wanted to use a saw that makes a similar eerie, ghastly sound. That’s where the idea came from. We didn’t end up using a saw--we used a guitar instead. But definitely, sounds like that have an otherworldly quality to them.

SILY: Have you ever seen someone play a saw live?

AZ: Have I?...I don’t think so.

SILY: There’s a street performer in Knoxville, TN who plays one. It’s crazy to watch how that can create that sound.

AZ: I would love to see that.

SILY: Is Joseph trying to learn these songs at the moment? Are you preparing to play them in some capacity, or looking more forward to writing new material?

AZ: He’s done some. We just recorded a video for “Funeral Pyre”. But we’re so busy with promoting the album at the moment, so we haven’t really rehearsed, which is kind of strange, I guess. We played with Joseph for so many years in the past. Me and Joseph started our first band together when we were 13. He’s definitely going to learn the songs. We’re not going to view this album as something that shouldn’t have happened. We all view it as a Tribulation album. Hopefully, we’ll play them live too, when that happens.

SILY: To what extent did you use the sequencing of songs to tell a narrative, whether a concrete narrative or a broad one?

AZ: The only thread running through the album, that’s also a bit conflated in the bio, is the idea of the five elements. We do write about it in the lyrics. Jonathan had been reading about the five elements of Western esoteric tradition, and at the same time, I was reading about the five elements of some Indian traditions. As we always do, we used what we had because of the synchronicity. We’d both been naming our songs as working titles, like “Fire”, “Water”. [laughs] Because of that, it was apparently something that we should be exploring or using. That’s really the only underlying theme of the album.

SILY: Was there anything different about the process of writing these songs and coming up with their different arrangements and tempos as compared to with your previous records?

AZ: Not really, I would say. You always think about trying to get the songs in somewhat different tempos and keys and what not. I always find myself worrying about, “Oh no! All the songs are in the same key!” Then, I go back to them and realize that isn’t actually the case. It has a way of working itself out on its own, and I don’t think it was any different on this album.

SILY: Tell me about the stories behind the videos for “Hour of the Wolf” and “Leviathans”.

AZ: The “Leviathans” video, we worked with a guy from Gothenburg, and he had made a video for Dark Tranquility. He made that whole video just by using their front cover, animated. We were really impressed by what he had done with it. He had also done some really cool cover art for Graveyard and a few other bands. The first idea was to build on the cover and let him play around with the illustrations in the album booklet. He did that, started doing that, and it was clear to me when I saw what he was sending that it would be much better if he just did whatever he wanted because the images that I sent him and the ones he made on his own didn’t really match. He just made the video in his studio by focusing on this watery side of the lyrics and the idea of this leviathan.

The second video, we recorded with an old friend of ours, who also did the video for “Strange Gateways Beckon” back from The Children of the Night. We went out to a castle a the lake, not too far from Stockholm, on a really, really cold day. [laughs] You can see that in the video from Johannes’ breath. We just built on the theme of that song, to some extent, at least. “The Hour of the Wolf” is the ghost hour, we say in Sweden, the early morning when you can’t sleep when the demons and anxiety come. We built around the more ghastly kind of theme of it. Johannes really went into character in that video in a way I hadn’t seen him do before, which was really cool.

SILY: What’s the inspiration behind the cover art?

AZ: No inspiration, I would almost say. You can’t really connect the title, the cover, and the lyrical content in a satisfactory way. That was the idea behind it. The title, Where the Gloom Becomes Sound, is the basic thing we’d been trying to do since our first album, which of course reflects what we’re trying to do with the music. The same goes for the cover. It spoke to us. It came about because we were in the studio discussing the cover and the title, and we never really have any of that finished until the album was almost finished. That was the case this time around as well. We always try to make the studio as Tribulation-friendly as possible, to decorate it somewhat. Johannes had brought a poster he hung up in the control room, and it kind of dawned on all of us that we already had the cover--it was right there. Luckily, it seemed like no one else had used it before, and hopefully, nobody uses it in the future. It’s a pretty cool piece of art by this Belgian artist. Supposedly, it doesn’t exist anymore. My first idea was to find it and take our own picture of it, but it probably got destroyed in the war. The photo you see on the cover is from the late 19th century, a print in an art magazine. It already kind of has this antique vibe to it, which works well with what we’re trying to express in general.

SILY: Are you planning on eventually touring these songs, or doing livestreams or socially distant shows?

AZ: We do have a tour booked. It was supposed to happen now, in January and February, but it’s supposedly happening in September/October. We don’t know whether it’s gonna happen or not. But we’re still hoping. It’s a tour of Europe. It all depends on what’s happening. If the plague continues, I guess we’ll have to do some kind of a live stream. We started thinking about doing that at this point. At first, we didn’t really want to do it, because what we had seen so far [from others’ streams] wasn’t really what we wanted to do. But of course, we could always do it our way. If we’re not gonna tour, we’re definitely gonna stream something, and even if we do tour, we might end up streaming something anyway.

SILY: Have you thought about how you’re gonna adapt these songs to a live setting?

AZ: Yeah, I think it’s gonna work fairly well. I’m remaining positive it’s going to work...“The Hour of the Wolf” is a basic rock song, really, and some of the other ones are a bit more complex, I guess. Then again, we’ve managed to do it before, so I’m not that worried about it, really.

SILY: What else is next for the band?

AZ: Not entirely sure. Again, it really depends on what the current situation evolves into. Who knows? Regardless, since we’re a new band right now with Joseph, myself, personally, I really want to write some new material. It seems silly: The album isn’t even out. We recorded it in May and June, but that seems like ages ago. This year has been the longest year ever. It’s a bit early for [new music]. [But] you have to take advantage of enthusiasm and creative bursts when they reach you. I feel like we’re in one of those right now.

SILY: Is the band currently able to gather in the same room and collaborate in person?

AZ: Yeah. I recently moved away from Stockholm, so I’m about 4 hours away from them. It’s difficult to travel, of course, but me and Joseph have had some rehearsals over Skype [for “Funeral Pyre”.] That’s one way of doing it. We could still be in the same room. There aren’t any restrictions saying we can’t as long as we’re all symptom-free and all that. But I wouldn’t really want to get on a train right now.

SILY: Anything you’ve been listening to, watching, or reading lately that’s caught your attention?

AZ: Yeah, I watched the new series by John Turturro about Umberto Eco’s book The Name of the Rose, which is one of my favorite books ever. I kind of like the old movie version with Sean Connery--it’s got a fantastic soundtrack. This one has 8 episodes. Even though it can’t really compete with the book, I thought it was pretty good. It has all the ingredients I want: theological discussions and monks and just being Medieval in general.

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lliaq · 4 years ago

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okay, now that I’ve slept on it I’m actually gonna try to put down my thoughts on the season, so obvious TUA season 2 spoilers below and it’s probably going to get really long

Just to preface this, I haven’t read any of the comics, so I can’t speak to how the show compares to them.

Guess I’m gonna start with the positives, and I think what I enjoyed most about the season where just little moments between the siblings. Obvious standouts being Ben getting to talk to Vanya and Diego. I think those were the only two scenes that acutally made me tear up a bit. It was just really nice seeing him get that opportunity, and something that I’ve wanted to see since S1. It would have been even nicer if he got a moment with all his siblings, but hey, I’ll take what I can get. Another one was at the very end with Vanya and Diego just sitting on the stairs together. Just a nice little moment, even if it was short.

Luther apologizing to Vanya was a pleasant surprise and showed that he actually used his time alone to reflect and have a bit of character growth, so that was another plus.

I overall liked Allison and Ray’s relationship, and I was okay with the way it ended. It was kind of bittersweet, but it made sense and felt in character.

On that note, I also liked that Allison learned to achieve things without her powers, because never having to do that was kind of a big note of her character in S1. Not necessarily sure it had to be done by taking her voice away, I think if anything it would have been even better if she did it by choice, but I’ll get back to that.

I enjoyed the whole old Five vs “young” Five thing. Not much more to add to that, really.

And lastly, I enjoyed Reginal a lot more than I thought I would. It was interesting to see a bit of a different side of him when he was with Grace, felt like it gave his character a bit more depth, and I mean the actor is just fantastic. Like, I fucking despise Reginald, but it’s a joy to watch his performance. The way he went in on Diego at the dinner was fucking brutal, man. That was heartbreaking to watch, and the fact that none of the others stood up for him sucked, but honestly I think it just shows that despite them bonding a little, they still have a ways to go in terms of being a functional family. S1 didn’t span all that much time, and they were separated for most of their time in the 60s, so it makes sense that they’re still learning in that department. Them getting into the car with Vanya showed that they’re getting there though. Also, to get back to Reginald, I think they’ve made it pretty clear now that he’s an alien, so there’s that too. No more confusion about that.

Now on to the so-so stuff. Things that were neither all good nor all bad.

Vanya & Sissy - oh boy man. I mean first of all: give me that lesbian farm life, hell yes. I was rooting for them from the start, and I just really loved all their interactions. Also, idk if that was intentional on Ellen’s part or not, but her chemistry with Sissy was leagues above whatever the fuck was going on with Leonard. That being said- I’m personally not a fan of cheating storylines, just in general. I get why, in this case, but yeah. And unlike with Ray, I really wish they would have taken Sissy and Harlan with them to 2019. Because, for one: can we at least have one happy gay couple on this show? And second: They both deserved to have a life where they’re not constantly judged for who they are. From a character standpoint I get that going to the future would be really scary and shit, but just imagine man. Vanya and Sissy could have been together without having to hide, and Harlan could have vastly benefited from the better understanding of autism we have now. Not that either of those aspects are perfect in 2019, but they’re a long way from the 60s.

Diego and Lila’s relationship I honestly didn’t care much about. It felt like they just completely dismissed Patch and the impact her death had, by not even so much as giving her a mention. And I also just didn’t really feel it man. I mean they spent some time together in the asylum, but it seemed like they weren’t even friends really - and then by the end of the season they love each other, like girl, it’s been less than a week. Relax.

Lila on her own, I did kind of like, but I feel like she could have used a bit more development, and a little less ‘I had sex with this guy once like five days ago and now I love him more than anything’

Ben. Ben Ben Ben. I was kind of up and down on his arc. I actually liked that he was just so done with Klaus’ shit, even if calling Dave a fling might have crossed the line a bit for me. Some of the posession stuff was weird (though I’m glad they at least had the ground rules talk), but at the same time getting to see him experience the most basic sensations like air on his face and dirt under his feet was nice. He did also save the world through the power of communication and love, so you know- good job, Ben. And then they killed him (again). Ngl, I was pissed at that- but I figured they would probably find a way to bring him back somehow, so I held off judgement on that until the end, and I was right. Still not entirely happy, and whether or not that’s going to change will likely depend on what happens with S3.

Klaus’ cult story line was kind of eh. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t really like it either. His attempts to save Dave were more interesting, even if they ultimately didn’t work. Other than that, he didn’t really go through any growth this season. It did piss me off that Allison enabled his drinking after he relapsed. Fuck that.

I’m glad we got to see a little bit of how Allison losing her voice affected her, but I think they could have done more there. Idk, it just felt a bit lackluster for something so huge. Like I mentioned earlier, her living a life of never actually having to work for anything was something that shaped her character and personality in S1, and I‘m glad she’s had that realization. That being said, I think it would have been even more impactful if she worked for what she wanted w/o using her powers by choice, showing that she was was willing to put in the effort to grow and change, rather than being forced into it by circumstance. But you know, sometimes life works like that, and people don’t change unless they’re forced into a situation where they have no other option.

And, somewhat related, I think the last point for this section is Allison and Vanyas relationship. While I’m glad that they’re closer now, I wish they would have at least adressed Vanya slitting her throat. I understand that Allison doesn’t blame her, we already saw that at the end of S1, but c’mon. At least have a short conversation about it, because that was a big thing. It feels like they just used that to fuel the ‘Allison needs to learn how to do things without her powers’ storyline, and then it just got dropped, never to be mentioned again. The show tends to do that a lot, and it completely diminishes the impact of these big moments.

Okay, now to the purely negatives, here we go.

Luther moping over Allison. For the love of god. Listen, Luther did grow on me this season, compared to S1 - but I was so fed up with his moping around. Can we just not do the incest thing anymore, please. I already went through that shit with Shadowhunters (except there it at least wasn’t actually incest), I don’t wanna do it again.

Harlan. I honestly did not care for him at all. That being said, I usually don’t care about child characters, so that’s not a big surprise and not necessarily the show’s fault. But also, the fuck even was that storyline. I’m sorry, but it just made no sense. Which actually leads me right to the next point

Inconsistently written powers. Diego doing the thingy with the bullets like since when tf can he do that? I understand that the show already changed his powers from the comics, but up until that point it was strictly about knives. We never see him curve or manipulate (or whatever it is he actually does) any other objects, so this just felt so random and out of nowhere, and like they just wanted to give him a ‘badass powers moment’. If they wanted to indicate that his powers were more than what we’ve seen in S1, literally all they had to do was have him use them on something that’s not a knife at any point in the season. A 2 second shot, done. And then you don’t get to the finale and are suddenly like “the fuck”. But, boy, Vanya was even worse. Sounds. That’s what we learn her powers are in S1. Sounds, she manipulates sounds and sound waves. So how in the everliving fuck does she a) bring someone back to life, b) tranfser part of her powers to that person and create a magical connection, and c) take that part of her powers back? None of that makes any sense whatsover. The stuff in S1 where she’s sucking the life out of her siblings was already a stretch, but they’ve just made it worse this season. And this is just a minor gripe with the VFX, but her floating out of the barn looked so bad. I know it’s hard to make floating/flying people look good and natural, but other shows and movies have done it, so it’s not like it’s impossible.

And lastly: The villains. They were terrible, period.

I don’t like the Handler that much, she’s just so...plain and boring and really the only thing she has going for her are the outfits. Nice outfits don’t make a good story though. But the Swedes were even worse. Just every scene they were in felt like it dragged and I just wanted to skip past it. And then they have the fucking funeral scene with swedish Adele like are you kidding me? Am I supposed to feel bad for these pieces of white toast with zero personality or development? ??? Honestly, they could have cut them out completely and replaced them with more development for Lila and I would have been perfectly happy with that. Or replaced them with literally anything else. I don’t think I would have felt like I was missing anything important. Also, AJ? What was up with that? Again, haven’t read the comics so idk if he’s a big deal or not in them, but I really thought he would play a bigger role. That felt like such a waste of a character and like what even was the point?

I really feel like AoS (esp. S1-4) raised my bar for well written and developed villains. Admittedly, a 22 episode season allows for a lot more time to actually do that than a 10 episode season, but still. If you have less time to develop characters, then you need tighter writing and TUA completely dropped the ball on that one.

Okay. I think that’s it. I mean, I probably forgot a bunch of stuff, but these were the things most prominently on my mind after letting everything sink in for a bit. Overall I’m pretty meh about the season as a whole. I’ll probably watch S3 (if they renew it, that is), but I’m not super hyped about it or anything. The only thing keeping me interested are sibling interactions and the Ben reveal (even though his emo hair is an atrocity. I’m sorry Ben, I love you, but no.)

#tua #tua spoilers #boy this got longer than I thought it would

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