#so this will get rid of that anxiety for me if i know for a fact that y'all are okay with it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

burningthetree · 2 years ago

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this is my villain origin story I can feel it

#academic weapon #academic validation #forever my nemesis #university aesthetic #but we’re all collectively losing our minds #julie is rambling #and slowlyyyyy passing away #can I just get my GRADE SO I KNOW I’LL GRADUATE #pls pls pls manifesting for me to get that grade soon because I am passing away #shouting into the void of tumblr to get rid of part of the anxiety that’s been piling up :’)

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willowfey · 1 year ago

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starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal

#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept #i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them #if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens #i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it #i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut #it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair #my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking #if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back #if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off #ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal #but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends #i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens #and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too #since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out #i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now #now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that #i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly.#if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill #in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it #my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes #sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know???#but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested #i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore #i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world

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lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar · 7 months ago

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Please BE EXCITED about stuff you like/ want to be excited about 💞 That's what life supposed to be about, finding joy in the smallest things, in the things we enjoy and love. And the people that judge us for having that joy in our hearts lose their own life, because they spend too much time judging someone else's life instead of doing something with their own. FUCK them

this is one of my favorite asks and i love you

#nobody will ever stop me from getting excited about things i like #i just always feel like i'm not allowed to share that excitement with anybody directly because of being made fun of in the past #or like i at least have to tone it down by like 99% and make it very brief #because of fear of rejection so i keep it to myself contained in my own space #sometimes i really wanna talk about my favorite things with somebody but i'm like #'nobody knows or cares about this. what if i send something and they hate it and tell me it's horrible'#(a reaction i've been the most used to. either that or just silence)#and i wouldn't know who would actually be interested or if i would be putting them in a situation #where they're not interested at all but they're too nice to say it and then i feel annoying if i keep talking about it #because now even if it isn't SAID that they hate it i still always feel like people are thinking that behind it all #so like if somebody came at me right now telling me everything i like is horrible #that itself wouldn't really bother me because i could just block and continue life without a second thought about that person specifically #because that's just unnecessary and rude regardless of what it's about and i would assume it's just somebody looking to stir things up #delete/block. not taking it personally and not worth thinking about #but it's the anxiety built up from it happening for so long and so consistently from so many people and some that i used to be close to #that now it feels to me that everybody feels that way even if i know LOGICALLY that it isn't true. the feeling is still there #it's one of the long-term effects that are so hard to get rid of once they're set #this is just another thing about myself to work on for probably my entire life #but russ has been helping me with so much lately it's unbelievable

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torchickentacos · 1 year ago

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anxiety 🤝 the mosquito in my room: won't go away and let me live my life in peace

#i've been trying to get rid of this mosquito since last night #and i've been trying to get rid of the anxiety since i was eight KGSDSJKFHGDKJ #Neither are working right now.#ok to rb #like i cannot socialize right now. i hate when my anxiety does this #the rsd is on such a hairpin trigger that i just. can't do the whole talking to people thing right now.#so we're just gonna have me time (cough. isolating) tonight!!! is that fun? not really but it's better than the alternatives #like i KNOW i am loved and appreciated #but some days my brain is insistent on convincing me otherwise which isn't fair to ANYONE #got stressed bc my mom was too quiet around me. like i KNOW she's just tired so we're just gonna not be around people #until my brain can stop deciding poeple hate me because they like. looked at me weird or passed the food too aggressively to my brain #so we're on break until i sleep this off #posting doesn't count though. i can still yell into the void

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ilkkawhat · 2 months ago

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think i set a new record for my staff to fall apart…in like two weeks i fired one and had one new person resign. just fuck man!!

#tbd #time for the traditional ‘lost an employee’ drinking night #where i feel like it’s all my fault #hell first thing out of my boss’ mouth was asking what we could have done to prevent the woman quitting #and god this poor woman…she was so hard on herself and had all this anxiety i was legit talking into a mirror when she cried to me friday #and now i’m being tasked with getting rid of another person who i have complicated feelings over #she has said inappropriate things to and about me which is disappointing #but i respect her a lot and i don’t know what i did to make her distrust me so much #and she’ll never know how many times i saved her job lol #sorry i just needed to vent

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antiadvil · 3 months ago

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sorry people are annoying about your chronic illness lou i think you rock and it sucks that you have migraine 😔 you deserve to have so much fun at tit no matter what tho. love you x1000

thank you <3 i am really excited for tit!! i was talking with some friends the other day and i'm trying to convince a friend to visit for the show so we could go together and even if they can't make it it's going to be so fun. i'm for sure going to be meeting up with a friend who i met up with at WAD and there should be a few other tumblr people there who i'm excited to meet :) i'm planning to take a nurtec beforehand to hopefully help prevent a migraine from the lights/general excitement of the experience and i will have my nsaids and triptans with me in case that's not enough!

my real hope though is that whatever we do at my next neurology appointment will actually help this time (which it should... i think i've finally jumped through enough hoops for botox or a cgrp antagonist but i've thought that before and insurance has told me i am wrong) and i will maybe not need to worry so much about all the migraine stuff. summoning circle or whatever

#asks #castrotophic #i am excited for it!! and Right Now that's the only emotion i'm allowing myself to process bc i'm not on anxiety meds and if i am negative #i will spiral :)#look at me being positive. my therapist would be so proud #i'm not pinging ppl but. chicago mutuals/phriends you know who you are <3 #i know you didn't ask about the specific drugs i'm planning to take to try to avoid having a bad migraine but i'm sharing with the class #actually i failed to specifically name rizatriptan and diclofenac that's on me #i'm flexible though lmao i have leftover (pill) sumatriptan still and also aleve #i used to also have a bottle of aspirin thankfully i was able to pawn that off bc quite frankly i had too many nsaids in my medicine cabine #even currently i have a lot more migraine rescue meds than anyone should need to have on hand #and the worst part is i actually take most of them frequently enough that i can't get rid of them #i regularly mix and match between- rizatriptan aleve diclofenac nurtec excedrin tylenol #in case anyone was wondering. i have excedrin aleve and diclofenac on me at all times #if you have a headache at tit chicago. hit me up lmao #honestly if you have a headache anywhere in the chicago metropolitan area. i've got you covered #anyways!!#sorry i'm kind of insane i slept like shit last night and my brain is being real weird today

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coffeeworldsasaki · 11 months ago

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Okay if my girlfriend is able to help me out I'll try getting over my ocd issue with the Bad Number

#i feel like crying just thinking about it but the only way i can fight compulsions is just ignoring them and then try not to die of anxiety #it's a low number so basically every book has a chapter numbered with it and when i reach the chapter before i have to read both together #and I can't spend that long reading at times which makes me postpone reading some books for weeks #and it's all around very fucking annoying because i also can't stop at that page or after readinf that amount of minutes #i have to get rid of it #god i don't know if i can #it'll hurt so much I'm too scared

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thethingything · 6 months ago

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our current dilema is that the pain from our wisdom tooth keeps getting so bad we have to take pain meds (like it keeps hitting an 8/10 for several hours at a time. we can't not take pain meds) but the only pain meds that touch it have a warning on them saying not to take them for more than 3 days in a row, and we have at least another month of dealing with this, so I don't really know what to do.

the warning is because they're opioids and can cause addiction but I don't actually know how bad the risk is because everything seems to treat it like opioids are the worst thing ever and should be avoided at all costs and you'll get addicted if you so much as glance at them.

either way, my options are to either keep taking them and just accept that risk, or deal with being in so much pain I can't function. even with taking the pain meds I can tell we're a lot more irritable and short tempered and probably just insufferable to be around honestly and I hate the fact that pain causes this, but once again we've got to deal with this for over a month and we've also got to deal with the anxiety over what the treatment for it is going to actually involve.

I've had to deal with medical trauma stuff I didn't even know about until like yesterday when Lucy suggested it might be part of why I feel so shit, and I've had multiple panic attacks per day and constantly feel way more anxious than usual and I get the feeling we're just gonnaa have to put up with this for the next month and I don't know how the fuck I'm meant to cope with any of this

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #posts made on pain meds #there is absolutely nothing that gets rid of what essentially amounts to a constant sense of impending doom #like our brain has just fully decided we're fucked and going to die or some shit and now I have to deal with the anxiet from it doing that #and like I know logically we're gonna be fine and this is ridiculous #but I know we sometimes get a delusion where our brain just decides we're gonna die on a specific day or whatever #and I think that's flared up and combined with the severe medical anxiety #and since knowing a delusion isn't real doesn't do shit to stop you feeling like it's real #no amount of logic seems to be able to make our brain not freak out over this and make me have panic attacks because of it #we already had that delusion kind of going on in the background because something about this time of year seems to trigger it #and I guess having something planned that's incredibly triggering and causing that feeling a dread #probably just made our brain combine the two things #we also are definitely experiencing stress-induced psychosis just in general because I've been hallucinating so fucking much #actually I wonder if the fact that I've had to take pain meds so much might also be messing with our psychosis #I would like to maybe not have to deal with any of this #we were looking forward to just getting that one tooth removed and then resting and recovering and not having anything planned for a while #and instead we've got at least a month of dealing with this shit and I'm fucking exhausted #this year has basically just been me dealing with one unbelievably triggering thing after another because I have no other choice #like I keep being thrown into situations that involve triggers that I can't even think about without having panic attacks #there's a whole bunch of shit going on in our personal life and stuff just keeps piling up and we don't get a break from any of it

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raksh-writes · 10 months ago

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Somehow, after months of not moving a muscle, I managed to get off my ass and do some light stretching + a whole damn abs routine too, that I still have no idea how I got through it, I remember it being hard on Normal day, and now my whole body is feeling this little workout and I'm like?? WHo are you?

Now to keep it going, tho...

#personal #Raksh posts #the anxiety and stress started creeping in #tho I have A FULL WEEK OFF with no classes nothing #so I was like - I might as well Try to get rid of that nibbling stress #and like damn this feels nice #also made me realize how out of shape I am :''') not that it's a surprise but still #gonna try and keep it up with at least like One thing a day #a couple of stretches or an exercise here and there so it's not just a one time thing (I Am prone to doing that)#tomorrow I have some logistics to maneuver around since Im going to the theater with a couple friends in the evening #and we're meeting earlier in the day for some drinks too bcs my last train is not late enough to go After the spectacle #but anyway I guess I'll try to do some stretches before noon and then figure out food before I go to the train station #damn maybe I can start getting myself back together #like I even started rereading my Voiles stuff - esp the BatB AU #and if I go back to writing it? goodness help me #I Know there are still people reading the ship but oh my god really??#anyway I had to throw this out of myself I guess xD #Im still debating on making some pizza dough today and maybe making one to eat later hmmm #it's like - me making homemade pizza seems to always be a sign of getting out from some kind of slump/depressive episode #because I never have the energy or motivation when it's Bad but I Love pizza and actually enjoy making it so #yeah we'll see I guess #still half a day ahead hah

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this-doesnt-endd · 4 months ago

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I WENT TO PUT A DISH IN THE SINK AND A ROACH WAS CRAWLING OUT OF IT AND THEN I WALKED BY MY BOOKCASE ABD THERE WAS A FUCKING CRICKET!!!!!!!!!!! I CANNNOT FUCKING DO THIS!!!!!!!!

#i have to go to the store tomorrow like i have to #i need to buy weather stripping since it likely came thru the hole in the corner of my door like that fuck ass worm did #cause both happened after big rains #i need drain cleaner and drain covers and a special drain cover for the bathroom cause the ac unit water comes out into my apts shower #for some fucking reason and i cant have stagnent water if a mosquito gets in here but i cant have anything crawling up that drain #i need hand sanatizer i have like three of the mini bath and body works bottles left #and honestly i use too much cause im putting it up to my elbows and sometimes i use it on my legs and feet cause if i dont #my brain is gonna convince me that im as good as dead #i also need something to trap them that keeps me as far away as possible if i have to get rid of bugs cause im so awful with it #AND BEFORE ANYONE WANTS TO BE A BITCH im sorry i dont like bugs okay if im outside i get it im in the outside its a me issue #i will panic internally but im my house absolteuly fucking not i just cant #and yaknow what i dont know why!!!!!!!#but its a big fear quite possibly verging on real phobia and if u make fun of my im gonna fucking cry #i dont know why its like this noe i uses to hold lady bugs abd worms as a kid no issue this is a recent change in my life #im also afraid of eating yogurt thats best by date was a week ago i know its irrational and i used to NEVER think abt it but now i do #and it gives me so much anxiety but i try not to waste food so i ate that yogurt in tears convinced i was gonna get terminal good poisoning #even tho i knew i wouldnt but i still cant help it it makes me so anxious brings me to tears much like bugs and i dont wanna be doing it #but my brain is wired backwards!!!!!!

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windwardstar · 8 months ago

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anyway food has been procured and the fridge is now full

#and my brain is still screaming that i could have made it another week with the things i had left #and that i now have too many food things and they're gonna go bad before i get around to using them all #which is probably part of the real crux of the issue #although i've gotten rid of that immediate jolt of anxiety upon seeing moldy food #mostly because the matcha powder gets everywhere and seeing the green powder in random spots and then thinking it was mold before realizing #it was just the matcha has really desensitized me to it #that and just being like oh this has mold throw it out and i can buy more #or even just hey i don't know how long this thing has been here and the anxiety brainworms are fearful of mold so we're just gonna toss it #because i am an adult who has the authority to decide that (and money to buy more)

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kasaneteto · 8 months ago

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bowl:smoked

tinder:deleted

PS5:on

time:gaming

#txt #had to get rid of tinder it made me feel so nasty to be perceived by so many #got one date tho thats enough for me lol #hes v nice im excited to meet him #dont think its gonna go anywhere tho and tbh i dont want it to #i just want more like casual dating experiences while i can get them #bc idk man #im seeing a lot of fucking angel numbers #idk what it means but my intuition is telling me it means something that i am afraid of it meaning #but maybe rhats just my anxiety #WHO FREAKING KNOWS! WHY WORRY ABOUT IT! JUST GONNA HAVE A GOOD FREAKIN TIME!

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killuaisaprincess · 11 months ago

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happy new years to the person who stalked and bullied me with their 1,000 plus twitter followers while I had like 30 lol

Stillll was the best thing that ever happened to meeee NOT JOKING

THANKS FOR HELPING ME BECOME MY TRUE SELF ALMOST THREE YEARS BABY OF BEING TRUE ME

AND HAPPY NEW YEARS FOR EVERYONE ELSE LOOK AT THE PRECIOUS BABEY PRINCESS 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I AHHHHHHHH

#personal #AND THIS WAS MY OG ACCOUNTS #Where I had more followers in the span of a few months vs now where it’s been years #it really proves the numbers aren’t everything #I’m so much happier here as I am now #And it’s so funny it’s thanks to some hater lol who’s account that I know of doesn’t exist anymore #though for all I know they’re dedicated to their cause and was one of the guest anon haters on ao3 till I turned them off #At this point I've spent more time as Qutie than Q by a long shot #I'll always be grateful for her getting me started but I love who I am now #I wouldn't be confident happy me without that asshole it's so funny how they tried to get rid of me but oopsie poopsie #They just made me stronger #It genuinely brings me so much joy to do what I love so much #CUTE KI IN DRESSES GONKI #AHHHHHH #And not have that anxiety loooming over me of wanting to fit in but not fitting in cuz I don't like kg I don't like main fandom #and praying my tag blocker saves me and I will keep silent on some things I like and believe in and #yeah I should apologize in my authors tag for writing too much of my niche of G carrying Ki and yeah #I'm so scared of antis and oh no ect ect I look back at her like whooo #Like whooo are uuu all that anxiety? Now my only anxiety is hate comments and that’s cuz of RSD BUT I WILL NEVER STOP WHAT I LOVE #I'll always be grateful for her but it's funny how in three years I went from no confidence me to someone who I AM MY NUMBER ONE FAN #DAMM I LOVE MYSELF not that that happened overnight but! Was a slow crawl but at the least! FULLY Since 2022 esp end of year! I LOVE ME DAM #And this no confidence thing it goes much further back then my blog too so anon changed my life #It's funny how just one person made me course correct and now I'm the person I am today and I love me I don't know how much time I have lef #But I'll spend it doing the things I love I still get depressed and sad from time to time and think everyone hates me but it's like RSD and #Depression it can't always be perfect but I'm so happy and confident most the time I just love what I do #Anon hate is never right I hate shit with my whole being and I've never once thought hmm let me send hate it doesn't make sense to me #And I still get harrasssed by these antis and some bad apple kg people and they don't offer me shit but a headache so I don’t want moreeee #But it's kinda funny how grateful I am towards this hater literally changed my life thank u if your out there man my lady non binary pal #So yeah I unironically sit back and thank them sometimes #IM SO HAPPY I GET TO DO WHAT I LOVE AND LOVE MY KI AND MY GONKI AND AHHHHHHHH

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goopyskele · 1 year ago

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Although I don't think anyone will, I would rather never bring up my vent posts after i delete it or if it's been like over a day or two!! I just wanted to state this bc I don't think I ever did😅

#sorry!#its kinda just like #an anxiety thing #good news is my mom trusts me so she got rid of her parental controls.#i wasnt expecting it to happen until i was like 17 😭#i love her sm <3 #like occasionally we'll have fight (once like every 4 or 5 months and like not even because sometimes that time will last even longer.#like we can go a year with getting into agruments!! smth im rlly proud of <3 #i know i talk bad abt her ALOT but honestly shes awesomr and trying her best <3

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kitsunerokko · 2 years ago

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feeling too not-smart, too anxious, too weird but also not weird enough, too... late... to deserve happiness

#really drifting hard #and finding it difficult to connect with my spaces and friends #and i don't know why #why is it so hard for me to just. focus. and talk something interesting #interesting enough to actually make my friends' days... prove i'm worth talking to #maybe it's the pressure from the anxiety #the pressure of i need to memorize everything in everyone's subject exactly and then craft an academic-level response #as if i'll fail the way i failed in school #i can see the roadblock but i don't know how to get rid of it #how to stop feeling it #how to stop fearing that i'm not good enough and will never be good enough until i learn how to just snap out of it #snap out of being mentally ill #like i was supposed to do. commanded to do all my life. and never could.

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mars-ipan · 2 years ago

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if you could get rid of one symptom of your disability (physical or mental) which would it be and why

#sleepover questions for disabled people teehee #should i put this in some main tags. i kinda wanna know what people say #fuck it yeah #disabled #actually disabled #actually neurodivergent #actually anxious #<- that one’s mine but this applies to all disabilities/disorders #anyways i’d get rid of the nausea i get from physical anxiety #yes the tic sucks. yes the headaches suck. yes the executive dysfunction sucks #but i’m emetophobic. and when i get very anxious i get nauseous to the point of gagging on air #i also have a very sensitive gag reflex and when i’m anxious it activates on a hair trigger #and wanting to throw up when you’re scared. but also being scared of throwing up. is a VICIOUS cycle #and it has prevented me from leaving the house SO many times. and i HATE IT #and if i could live my life free of anxiety nausea oh the joy

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