#im seeing a lot of fucking angel numbers

[kasaneteto]

bowl:smoked

tinder:deleted

PS5:on

time:gaming

[apartmentofdark]

oh i completely forgot to talk abt the weird shit that happened when i was watching revolution LMFAO idk which match it was but i was discussing cm punk with my mom and heatedly being like "he's coming back i can feel it in my bones" and the match timer read 22:22 exactly. So bitch i Have An Unnecessary Amount of faith rn

[loveanddeepdick]

obsessed!geto suguru x f!reader

cw & notes: ok this might NOT be everyone’s cup of tea if you’re a 100% independent girlboss femdom femininomenon, A LOT OF possessiveness, solved misunderstandings, dubcon, oral sex, borderline yandere, no curse au + geto works at jjk high but it’s not jjk high ykwim hbdjsh and ur close with his students

┈┈・୨ ✦ ୧・┈┈

obsessed!geto who watches your every move, looks at every text message notification you get, every person you wave to. of course, he isn’t looking for any evidence that you’re cheating, no! he knows you’d never.

you two are cuddling on the couch together, laying on his lap with your head nestled under his chin and you legs draped over while he rested his cheek on your head. he’s in the middle of rubbing your back and watching whatever you had on your phone when he sees texts you got from a name he’s never seen before.

higuruma

hey, i hope this is the right number

i got ur stuff, let’s meet when your husband goes to work, yeah?

geto was silent for a few seconds before subtly tightening his grip on you

“who’s that, angel?”, geto almost seethed, he was trying his best not to make it sound like he was upset but it tipped him the fuck off.

‘who the fuck is that? who is she talking to?’

you only smiled, looking back at geto.

“it’s yuji’s lawyer friend, remember?”, you rested your head in the crook of his neck, somehow oblivious to the change in his demeanor.

“yuji.. ah, yuji’s lawyer friend. and you’re meeting with him why? and when i go to work—honey what’s going on?”

“geto..” you lifted you head, turning to him and slightly frowning, “it’s so he can come to meet with me and drop off stuff for yuji while he’s gone for a school trip”

“mm.. i’m gonna come with you, pretty girl..” he attacked your face with kisses as u giggle and try to dodge them.

“sugu!! you’re so protective over me! it’s not like im a baby, i’m not gonna get kidnapped” you huffed, lightly slapping his bicep. geto only hummed and enveloped his lips in yours.

the next day, poor higuruma couldn’t help but nervously chuckle as geto silently stood behind you as he dropped off yuji’s stuff.

obsessed!geto who knows all your needs. all of them.

┈┈・୨ ✦ ୧・┈┈

“sugu! i told you im not hungry right now” you whine as he brings in two bags of takeout. ten minutes later, suguru is feeding you as you scroll on your phone. smiling as he knew that at the end of the day, he knew your needs better than you did.

┈┈・୨ ✦ ୧・┈┈

“sugu i really wanna go to the beach next week, let’s go pleasseee?”

“mm-mm, doll, your period starts in three days and the day we go is when you feel pain the most. so, no, we’re not going and you’ll thank me later”

you frowned and gave him the silent treatment which only lasted for two hours . three days later, you did get your period and the day that the beach was planned, geto was at the foot of your bed, massaging your feet as he turned your heating pad up, his eyebrows furrowed as he hated the sight of you in pain

“sugu.. i love you”, you groan as he relieved your pain little by little.

“‘love you too, pumpkin”

┈┈・୨ ✦ ୧・┈┈

“fuck, angel.. yeah.. i like you better when you’re not so fucking bratty and i can hear my dick inside you instead of that little mouth of yours always running”

he knew you were horny. he slipped his cock into your mouth as a means to shut your bratty little mouth up. you’d been teasing him for hours and he just had enough after he came home from a long day. you’d sent him dirty text after text, lingerie pics to nudes, even videos of you playing with yourself

he just couldn’t help but pin you down on the couch just as you got home! your bratty little mouth protesting about him being so whipped for your pussy but he shuts you up with your favorite treat!

he’d used your mouth, his hands shoved in your hair as he moaned from the sigh of your teary eyes.

“fuuuck, i’m close, angel. you want a treat for finally being a good girl? open up that throat of yours baby”

obsessed!geto who always does a background check of everyone you know. he has to make sure his soon-to-be wife doesn’t have any dangerous people in her life or—god forbid—, anyone with even an ounce of a crush on her!

after he’s doing cutting off the people he doesn’t like in your life (with reason of course! he knows what’s best for you <3), he immediately goes off to you, surprising you with a smack of your ass or a rough kiss on the lips, whatever he sees first.

if you’re not there though, he’ll jack off to all the photos he takes of you. sometimes he takes them in secret, sometimes he takes them in brough daylight. he doesn’t have to hide it anymore now that you’re dating but he never stopped. he loves you in all forms and he loves the effect you have on his cock. he’ll have his boney hand wrapped around it, sliding up and down as he whimpers your name.

“you’re so.. so fucking sexy, mm..mmphf!”

just geto who’s obsssed with you >.<

[meliciousmel13]

̗̗̀̀➛ killer!billie headcannons

paring: killer!billie x bimbo!reader warnings: smut, obsessive behavior, face sitting, stalking? (kind of), billie kills someone here, grinding, i think thats it tell me if you find any more please!

wc: 1,487

SYNOPSIS: headcannons of killer!billie x bimbo!reader

taglist: @chrissv4mp, if your not a part of this list but want to be comment under my tag list post, which is on my masterlist.

an: i wrote this today 💀 IM ON MY PERIODDD and kind of horny ngl

at first, she didn’t think much of you. she thought you were just another co-worker at her boring office job that sometimes brought everyone coffee, like the angel you were.

until she saw her co-worker, oliver, flirt with you. she knew he was flirting with you because he was touching you. he was touching your shoulder, and touching your hair. and touching, and touching. he would stop fucking touching you.

she hated that it irritated her. hated the way you wore things that made people look, like that skimpy top you wore last week, everyone was looking.

the first time you talked to her, you smiled, gave her a tissue wrapped doughnut and black coffee with one sugar cube. said it was nice to meet her and that you were new here.

it’s either you knew her, or just guessed her coffee preference. but you were so thoughtful.

she unknowingly started to follow you to the empty parking lot and find you fumbling with your keys with papers stacked on one arm.

she imagined helping you, taking those papers from you and handing you her number, maybe you call her and invite her to diner or something, anything.

but she never did anything. only savored the way her hand brushes yours whenever you were handing her the breakfast she relied on.

sometimes she skips meals so she can talk to you.

she didn’t even have to ask. just subtly hint that she forgot her lunch at home—and, oh, whatever will she do?

“you can have some of mine.” you smiled softly, pushing half of your sandwich into her hands.

“oh, i can’t take your food. it’s fine, i can go a day without lunch.” billie said, shaking her head. knowing that you would deny her not eating.

“what? no. half already fills me up you can take it.”

“if you insist.” she smiled.

it wasn’t her fault she followed oliver home. it was his fault, for flirting with what was hers. you.

she imagined stabbing oliver in the neck. hiding the body, and comforting you when you run to her, talking about how awful it is for someone to stab such a nice person.

until she actually killed him.

billie prepared her rubber gloves, the sharpened knife and various things. she thought of her plan. would she just knock on his door and stab him? no. that was too dangerous. someone might see her.

so she decided to sneak in his backyard. he lived alone, with 2 cats and 2 woman constantly coming in and out. great, he was even a cheater. see? he deserved it.

and he even screamed like a pussy. wearing his stupid shark boxers and still had his work button up on.

the next day the police came to see the crime. one of the girls he was cheating on knocked on his door to find his dick severed and his throat slit.

and guess who you came to cry to? her. you cried over someone you barely knew.

“i can’t—” hic. “i can’t believe someone s—” hic.

“shh.” she rubbed your back, while you were crying into her shoulder, you were wearing a light pink skirt on and a pretty top that left nothing for the imagination, “maybe i can come over? bake everyone cookies?”

“mhmm,” you sniffle, wiping your tears and snot on her shirt, “m’ sorry bout' your shirt.” you breathe.

“it’s okay, you can make it up to me. give me two cookies instead of one.” billie said, smiling, hiding her satisfaction.

“i’ll give you four.” you giggle. angel.

so she came over. she walked into your house invited. and she didn’t even stalk you to find out where you live—she was being good.

you opened the door with smallest fucking shorts she’s ever seen, and a tiny pink top, with no bra. which means that your nipples were leaving a small print on the fabric.

she’s in heaven. the whole house was lathered in your perfume and natural scent. and the walls were decorated with paintings and little trinkets. she knew your house wouldn’t be boring, like olivers. she sat on your couch and it was so soft.

she thought of fucking you on it. how your moans would ricochet off the pretty walls and how her cock would pump in your pretty pussy. how you would be too afraid to touch her back in case your accidentally scratched at it and hurt her. you could never hurt her.

how she would convince you to sit on her lap, naked, and whine and whimper, begging her to just fuck you already, like you couldn’t wait any longer.

she imagined convincing you to sit on her face. how you’d be too cautious, afraid to break her nose or neck. you would still do it though, sitting on her pretty face that was filled with a satisfied smile.

she would have her head almost falling off the edge of your bed, offering you to just get off her face if it was too much, it would first start off slow, you hover over her face not even siting. holding and gripping her hands, how she would leave small kisses on your thighs before extending her tongue and tasting you.

you would ‘mhph’ at that, left breathless and feeling your knees go weak, she would take her other hand and guide you to fully sit, she would feel the weight of you on her mouth. how she would shove her long pink tongue into you.

you would moan, still holding her hand and gripping her hair, bucking your hips. actually riding her. how your pouty lips let out the prettiest noises. how would let go of her hand and hold her head with both your hands and squeeze her head between your thighs.

she didn’t do any of that, obviously. just helped you with making your cookies.

you were putting in the chocolate chips now, and billie was holding your waist and watching. in reality, she didn’t do shit to help. only preparing the ingredients and keeping you company.

“now we bake them forr, i think 20 minutes.” you said, pushing the tray into the oven and bending, to reveal your striped panties. she was behind you, could feel your ass pushing against her pelvis.

“your really good at baking.” she complemented.

“thank you.” you blush, and smile.

she realized you were an angel ages ago. but when you offered for her to sleep over? oh.

she entered your room and saw the mess, the thrown dirty underwear and your “work” clothes throw in the corner of the room.

your face was flushed and you apologized for the mess. billie didn’t mind though, even helped you clean, she always treated you well, your mom would love her.

you thought about billie meeting your parents, they would think she was the best person you’ve brought them to meet, since all your other boyfriends only wanted you for your body. their personality was horrible too, they all treated your mom awfully.

but billie would never, she’d probably help your mom in the kitchen when she’s preparing the dinner. and your dad would talk about how he needed a helping hand in his mechanic company. noticing how well she was with her hands.

you imagined how the sweat would roll off her forehead—and now that’s dangerous territory, let’s not think of that.

you let billie sleep in your bed, since you didn’t want her to sleep on the floor with a pillow. that would hurt her back.

you didn’t even think of why her knee was between your thighs, she didn’t mean to push herself behind you and do that

you woke up with billie’s knee between your thighs, she adjusted her position and unconsciously moved her knee upward, causing it to hit your pussy, and you sniffled a moan, putting a hand over her knee and grinding subtly.

you were dirty. even moved your shorts and panties to the side to feel the rough fabric of her sweatpants on your bare pussy, feeling her knee hitting your clit at the perfect angle. almost like she was awake.

you slid your hand under the pillow and gripped, digging your head into the pillow and sniffling your whines.

you felt billie shuffle, and stiffen.

“good morning, angel.” she whispered in your ear, putting your shorts and panties back to their designated spot, not before brushing your clit with her middle finger, “were you busy there? sorry, your whining woke me up.”

you apologized a million times, couldn’t stop thinking of her deep, raspy morning voice in your ears. and her knee.

billie left soon after. she didn’t leave empty handed though, she left your house with a box of chocolate chip cookies and two pairs of your dirty underwear stuffed in her pockets. and a little lip gloss stain on her cheek.

[vivisviolets]

⛓ who is your tribe? 𓆩📓𓆪 𓆩🖤𓆪 how will you meet? ⛓

✮i love how i connected these 3 pics im sooo smart guys

⋆ ˖ ✮🖋️ -pick the image that gotchu good 👁👁 gotcha eyes~ you know how to do it I know you do- if you feel unclear, take a nice deep breath, connect with spirit/God/your higher self, and ask what messages would serve you in this very moment~ this has been your radio host vi-vi talkin🎙, and I'll catch at your pile~🖋️✮ ˖ ⋆

⋆ ˖✮pile 1✮˖ ⋆

⋆ ˖ ✮ ˖ ⋆

⋆ ˖ ✮🖋️ Five of Swords (reversed), Five of Wands (reversed), Ace of Wands, The Hierophant, Page of Cups (bottom of deck)

⋆ ˖ ✮🖋️ (slight 18+ cw) Libra/air placemnets, 7th house (Sun/Moon/Rising/Mercury/7h dominant etc), 1 house placements, Aries placements/degrees (Moon/Rising, etc), Nepo baby/“girl(boy/kid)-next-door” vibes, hair extentions, “going blonde”, Legally Blonde, angel numbers 1111, 222, 2424, 1234, channeled songs, Casual - Chappell Roan + How to be a Heartbreaker - MARINA

⋆ ˖ ✮🖋️ Hello my pile 1s!!!!! omg i wanted to jump right in but I feel the need to greet you into this becaussse- omg you are gorgeous- like I am being so fr DO NOT play yourself down I can hear the mind chatter of some of you gearing up at me saying that,-shut that shish down. on the other side of this group,- you already know you were born beautiful, raised beautiful, and have always been your own created beauty, you’re so tapped into that and really you always have- so I want everyone in this pile, to align to that energy rn. 👏R👏N👏. No matter your upbringing, whatever your family told you, your past friend groups, your classmates,- you don’t got to do or be someone else’s anything. you speak for yourselfff- and you always have!! no matter how deep your security periods were, you still radiated- radiance💎 and strength- damn you guys are strong, no matter how “submissive” some of yall feel to be (your vulnerability is divine btw and def a part of your strength)- you are strong af. strong in only a way the wind is (I mean think of how destructive that nature can be yet how soothing its flow is when it is calm) or a polished pillar… I JUST KEEP HEARING IT- YOU GUYS ARE BEAUTIFULLLL. ugh I gotta get into more dets for you- I’m hearing that some of you are blonde (natural/dyed/bleached it dont matter) and damn does it make you look like a star ☆- PLEASEEE YOU’RE A STARRR ♥️- sorry- it looks so good on you the more fair aura because that is definitely the color of your aura in social situations (I’m hearing pale lavender, blue, pink, yellow), I’m hearing you have very calming eyes.. something about the color of your eyes is very “even” in color, or you may know how to keep very even eye contact and that makes the color of your eyes stand out (anyyy eye color- I’m even seeing some of you may have a kind of heterochromia where you may have a dot of brown in your blue iris/other colors apply, etc), some of the people who you’ve kept such level eye contact with during conversation- they think they’d be able to see your eyes in a dark room they stand out so much…

oh my god pile 1 you are a star- moving forward I have to mention, some of you are very proud brunettes- as you fucking should be because oh my jesus that’s hot, your hot, you are a star ★, a superstar- I am not just saying that holy shit. I’m seeing you may stand out in your friend group or who you usually hang out with due to your coloring whatever that may mean (for example cus we’re on the topic of hair- you may be a blonde within a lot of brunettes, or vice versa- you may have brown eyes among a bunch of blue/green eyes, vice versa- you may be only one who tans, has lots of birth marks, wears their hair natural, etc etc),- now I’m hearing I should be giving random styling opinions/boosting- so if you have a y2k grunge aesthetic, or old hollywood glam style you look incredibleeee- don’t you fucking dare bring your body type into this- if you’re an apple body you look like literal heaven in a pair of low rise bedazzled jeans- long straight hair looks so good with your body shape, get wigs if you’ve been thinking about it- get braids if you’ve been wanting them- different color highlights is definitely a good idea (blonde, orange, blue, purple), tighter tops look so good on your body shape (lace up ones or ones with details/graphtics)- a clean sleek white dress would literally ☆shock☆ everyone in a room who knows you/your style (and ppl who don’t know you loll), nude makeup that matches the rest of your undertones, glossy press on nails, one piece of jewelry per type here and there,- some more gn/masc opinions I’m hearing are more shaped clothes, botton downs tucked in high rise straight down jeans/pants (showcase the shape of your shoulders and waist a bit moreee)- I’m hearing if you were to wear a brooch of somekind on your shirt pocket you’d drive someone “wild”-… I MEAN MAYBE THAT’LL JUST BE ME 💞💀- curls look so great on you also, like if you did a larger loose curl somewhere in the front of your hair- gel curls would also look hot on you- star accents of some kind (jewelry, belt charms, keychains, even tattoos),,, you are totally someone’s “pretty boy”/“pretty girl”/“pretty baby”… OH MY GOD THIS IS A RELATIONSHIPS/FRIENDSHIPS PAC WHERE WAS III-

so I was getting into it even in the energy check-in some of you may be coming from a place of past drama- yes I said past bc even if it's fresh it will be past, and in that it is already the past babe. so anyway- there is something.. romantic here- possibly, but really I’m hearing you are in admiration by a lot of eyes-… now I’m hearing “Kiss the Girl” from The Little Mermaid lol BAHHA oooohh~ you think your life is really mundane and so you’re hearing me say you have eyeballs on you like “… I leave my house once a week”- …bitch- your envioment means nothinggg and can change when you want it to fr. no matter your place this is your natural energy- I’m hearing your natural energy is being a socialite- and I mean you are meant to shine like a glittery star in various rooms- WITH YOUR GAL PALS!! this can even apply for going into a business/professional environment where you speak and interact with a lot of people and you are at the center of that- But anyway take it where it may apply. for some of you- you may do amazing in more queer centered places (clubs, awareness groups, or even drag shows in your area), places with a lot of creativity in relation to fashion (maybe even theater?) and makeup- for others here you should get out more in your school/college (gardening clubs or outdoor volunteer work would definitely benefit you), even if it’s just walking around your enviroment- wherever you walk you own, and you make yourself known…

I’m seriously feeling that so hard- AND SOME OF YOU DARE TO TURN A BLIND EYE TO YOUR OWN INNER SHINE. it's seriously beginning to bug me how you’re still staying in this insecure, bitter, fearful, energy, that is not yours but you continue to claim it!!! WTF. anyways, to those of you resonating with that- I’m being sooo fr, as soon as you kick those feelings to the curb (to be run over and killed 💅) and you fully allow yourself to bloom and allow the sun to shine on you- there will be buzzing. BUZZINGGGG🐝. put yourself out there and seriously just experiment with what it feels like to be with different social groups, don’t take it personally, expect nothing, just do it for your own self experimentation~ doesn’t that sound fun??? I'm getting the tingles just thinking about it~again with those spaces I talked about, no matter your feelings- wherever you walk you own. you belong because you know you belong in yourself. that’s your natural state and no matter how vicious some people were in seeing that in you, you still own that about you ☆ and it is your choice to use that divine gift given to you. please trust and believe when I say that once you step into that inner, pure, state of being- you will be divinely protected, any ◉ attacks are small potatoes and will be diced.

ANYWAYS WOOO- ummm all those spaces that I mentioned are fully open to you, and are definitely where you’ll meet your tribe- again, I’m seeing your “tribe” will more so be you being you and coming in and receiving a lot of admiration- people will just love to talk to you as soon as you come in (I’m seeing especially for the queer/fashion/creative group people coming up to you with armfuls of clothing joyfully wanting your opinion I loveee this for you)- I’m speaking about the future mainly to my more underdeveloped group of this pile, but let me jump into the future which is the place some of you are very much stepping into rn!!!- you’re having people crossing their legs in club booths to fit more people into your get to together- BAHHA- people want to be close to you, catch up, ask where you’ve been traveling to or what you’re wearing- and you’re finally soaking it all up and sitting so relaxed, your smile is dazzling and you’re taking a nice breath in and out as all of this healthily regulates your ego + your higher self.. this is honestly giving that if you weren’t the “queen bee” in your high school- you are now but in your 20s/30s/40s/etc!! and you’re handling it amazingly well, because you still choose to go home solo most nights still high and happy ♡ I love this for you. you also get asked to be the leader or placed as the head of a lot of different projects- it’s more so you oversee them and everyone works around you- the thing is, that you don’t let all this go to your head because you’ve already grounded your self-worth- and because of that attitude, people then want you around even more. when you come in, people want you in your group for the day/hour/20 minutes before another group wants you lol.

you’re fabulous ok? it’s more than fine to be that, it’s divine ♡! soo many people are going to feel like the moth to your flame, it’s already been destined to happen literally😵💫!!!! just keep a watch out for the ones taking too much from you or being up and down with their give-and-take from you, because you deserve someone/people around you who stay hot for you and fan your bright flame while enjoying its warmth (unless they need their own personal space- ppl are ppl, not npcs lol)… I guess I should just briefly state before I finish your reading- the chorus of Casual by Chappell Roan was replaying through your whole reading- I’m not saying this as a cop-out, you have people stopping and, in fact, falling to their knees when they’re in your energy. I see one or two people who are already a part of your larger group environment being very infatuated with you (and I’d definitely keep your eye on them and remain open to this possibility- for some of you this special someone is in your group setting is so pure in their affection towards you and could,, be the one. I'm dead serious about that- but also HEHHEHHEHE💞- oh how I love-love♡),- but I’m mainly seeing a lot of first dates for you guys as you continue to get out there, and that is far from a bad thing because- who wouldn’t want a change at even just one date with you??? (take rejection as non-personal ofc- ppl have free will- and stupidity) and also you get the chance to see how you adapt and interact with new people which is terrific for you!! mannn do I see you getting accepted and taken out by so many people, assholes included but also a lot of “gentlemen”/“babes” who will gladly treat you extremely well and or will be pulling all the charm and fun within them for you- even if they know it’s just one night with you… I’ll just say, you do attract people who want to serve you… on their knees definitely-

AND THAT IS WHERE I WILL LEAVE ITTTTT FOR NOWWW- I’m so so soooo happy to have had you all here todayyyy your life is seriously going to keep going up-up and away if you’ll just allow yourself to see that steady climb and trust it <3 I seriously love youuuu I almost don’t want you to leaveee just like how everyone else feels BAHHA- love you.~

⋆ ˖ ✮🖋️ “Knee deep in the passenger seat and you're eating me out is it casual now- two weeks and your mom invites me to her house in Long Beach is it casual now” - “it’s hard being casual when i’m on the phone talking down your sister”

⋆ ˖ ✮🖋️ "This is how to be a heartbreaker- boys they like a little danger" - "singing I lo-lo-love you"

⋆ ˖✮pile 2✮˖ ⋆

⋆ ˖ ✮ ˖ ⋆

⋆ ˖ ✮🖋️ Ten of Pentacles (reversed), Ace of Pentacles, Nine of Cups, Queen of Cups, Six of Swords (reversed) (bottom of deck)

⋆ ˖ ✮🖋️ Aquarius/Gemini/Libra placements, Capricorn/earth placements, Mercury dominant, Saturn dominant, 2nd house placements black lace, black on black, cinnamon, The Spice Girls, The Cheeta Girls, H2O, 2000s nostalgia, high school reunions, ex-friendship rebirth, stand up, saturday night bars, life path number 11, angel numbers 1111, 1212, 1313, 1221, channeled songs, Party for One - Carly Rae Jepsen, Heat Waves - Glass Animals

⋆ ˖ ✮🖋️ You guys are funny- just gonna say it off the bat I’m feeling silly with you rn ngl BAHHAHHAhehe- ok um HI PILE 2S!! I shouldn’t yell- let me not yell- some of you are coming from pile 1,, heyyy pile 1s~ ouw~ ok ok, you smiling could light up a room, a house, a complex, a broken oven. AHAHAH- what beautiful teeth and lips you have there- pile 2s. I’m seeing, so many different teeth and lip shapes before you come for me- straight, crooked, vener-white, “needs-a-cleaning” off-white, upside down smiles, nonsymmetrical dimples, big lips, small lips, uneven lips, scarred lips- you get it, I don’t give a shit. when you smile and give that big cackle, chuckle, chortle- you do what you do with joy- and people believe in jesus. people believe that pigs really do have wings. people believe that the sun must shine from your ass. truly. I mean truly. I’m sitting here with my fingers together like- hm. yes. how do I write this all- with a straight face without being sardonic… sardonic? do you guys read? I think you read. now I’m hearing “you thought you ate that-“ that meme, I know that you know it- let me stop. for-… 5 minutes… so we would probably connect really well- which is why I am all over the place, because you are also all over the place (yes I am shading you. respectfully.) someone here does really good impressions, including animals… whatever that means…- BAHAH, you guys would do great in stand up of some kind, either that or you’re known as the funny co-worker. you guys have this range when it comes to your sense of humor, where it is either very dry, with the most composed pauses (when I manage to do that without bursting into your own laughter), and or you guys are so fast like- the editing of a youtube video fast with the jokes- and or a mixture of the two where you’re able to pull off very intricate jokes very quickly in the moment. and jeeze people find you so charming, even more so because of the way you look as well, it’s almost weirdly uncanny to some people how someone with the level of physical attractiveness that you carry (it’s so heavy and so much I know it’s so hard✨) and you then can pull off such- hilarity. and they're like- “…do they know they could be a model??? like- are they aware?? are they using this comedy because they don’t see that about themselves??”… it’s giving “i didn’t know women could be funny” (goes for nb/men too ofc)…

wow- kill them with a spoon 🥄- anyways WOW. so I think you may have, a lot of perceptions of you by people around you who haven’t known you for very long, mainly revolving around your looks- yes your looks. your modesty is attractive but it won’t fly in this courtroom👩‍⚖️- you are attractive in some way, or have an appearance that people definitely admire- but also scrutinize, or underestimate… you definitely get belittled. ok- that sucks- point them out to me?… yea I thought so they are so ew. I don’t care if that person is your mother, your father, or your co-workers who’ve been working at the place for 5 years longer than you- they are ew. anyone who puts you down due to their own pre-made perception of you is ew. ick even. yea, I’m seeing the issue here is not like most other piles I read for where it’s a growth journey with self and insecurity- no you’re good rn you’re like totally chilling. and I love that because I’m chill now, I’m dipping my tea bag up and down and sitting with you I’m so chill. but I had to look into anything going on because- drama, keeps you reading. so main issue I’m exposing is that there are people around you, in your space, a space you “have” to be in like work or even college classes I’m hearing- most people around you mind their own business, good on them, I love them- other people… they dress you up as something in their mind for their own- amusement?? or to feel a sense of having an eagle eye over “you”- and I say “you” in quotations because wtf- they do this… so as to spice up their own boring life? this is a weird form of admiration, because even if it’s a shitty thing to see you as, with them placing you so strongly in this box- they’ve placed you also on this pedestal… that’s probably why even with this obvious bullshit you’re still just chilling- because you know that if someone has built this all up to be who you are- it means you’re the best. and they’re the lowest. the end. anyway my back hurts- someone here likes podcasts, I’m seeing the The Broski Report podcast (broski nation✊) and also Murder, Mystery, & Makeup- again you guys really just chill, drink a bit of wine and entertain yourself.- so let me move onnn and see what transformations might be gearing up in your social life hun~

ok so it’s not “crickets” happening in your social life, not at all- but again you guys are just so, content and used to yourselves (this is my pile who talks to themselves in the mirror I see you)- when I asked yall if you felt lonely I literally drew a blank. and this is actually perfect because it’s seriously when you’re not looking/expecting and you're all good with what you have that you get given so much- so this is where I’m going to remind you all to actively meditate on keeping yourself open. don’t expect anything, just stay open and ponder what you’d like- and you’ll receive. that’s literally it. you’re in prime manifesting energy with how content and at peace you are in yourself- do you know how much you attract when you do that shit???? remain. open. and. aware. of anything that may happen, even if someone trips in front of you and you gain a brief interaction or someone asks you where to find extra office supplies and you show them the supply closet- see your abundance, allow it, remain without expectations. you are literally in the perfect energy for so much. You guys are definitely the type however to be really fine with only a few close friends you can have some fun with (and or have a nervous breakdown with) and some family… but I think this contentment you have with yourself, might have come from you feeling- misunderstood in your sense of humor or self-expression. I gotta say, you definitely handled that disappointment well, since instead of dulling yourself you just shine more inwardly for your own enjoyment and entertainment- and that’s wonderful! but I do gotta say- I know you can feel a bit, pent up. due to a lot of your big personality being fitted within you, and that’s fantastic truly- but also it has the same effect of being stuck in your house alone for one week too long. maybe that’s why you read when you can- you get to be in a very expansive and wide world that feels different from your own… oh god did I make you yearn???? oops I’m sorry. anyways!!

you’d really thrive in some environment that feels more- “widespread” I suppose, that doesn’t mean cracking yourself open to a room of strangers, I mean just sharing yourself- still from a place of your own entertainment- what I mean is that it’d be really healthy for you to find an outlet for the pent up jitters you get- find it online if you want to try that, try little baby steps, why not?- go on one-time dates just to release a bit of what you keep inside you- interact with random people sitting next to you at bars,- no attachments, just feel out what you feel when you let your inward personality, be more outward- on a lease 🐩. I’m hearing some of you may be a little fearful of attachment even, work that out- that doesn’t mean you’ll then sacrifice your peace, you’ll just gain a wider world for yourself by gaining new connections- and obviously, with the personality and personhood that you have- you can totally just pick and choose who gets to be a part of that world and your time! you owe nothing to anyone. do you have any actual clue how many people are out there, whose perception of you is not just what they observe, but what you actually are? and their perception of you actually helps you and is used to contribute to your happiness and peace??? yea. having actual friends is freaking great. and the more you simply open yourself up to that- while staying aware and choosing who you want- that is going to be the big door that’ll be opened to you- you’ll receive so many amazing experiences and will shift and broaden your world and the worlds of others, you’ll be like a big tree, growing it’s roots around other trees- isn’t that soooo cute??? ok I’m trying to see into the future details in regards to you finding your “tribe”- spirit is honestly wanting things to be vague, so as you can remain open without any expectations. kk? I mean what I mentioned with the earlier situations gives you the clues to follow if you so choose- just be youuuu. you have more opportunities than you realize and you got all the answers to what to do within you. trust me when I say you’ll be running down the street in weird clothes and pearls, scream laughing out of breath with two girls who love you… that’s for someone here and it also applies to everyone here~

okkk pile 2s, it was stimulating being with you I’m nearly sick❤️ BAHAH anyways, in regards to any avoidant/anxious-avoidant attachment issues, just remember that heartbreak sucks, but heartbreak always just makes you hotter, and funnier. you prove that- that outcome is very real every day you exist as yourself… OKKK love you byeee❤️♡

deadass as I channeled this song, I was questioning if it was correct- and I look up to see one of your angel numbers 1212 on the clock- and then again 1221 as I type this lolll

⋆ ˖ ✮🖋️ “Once upon a time I thought you wanted me was there no one else to kiss- was it all a dream I let myself believe, I’m not over this, but I’m trying” - “party for one, if you don’t care about me, I’ll just dance with myself, back on my beat- I’ll be the one, if you don’t care about me, making love to myself, back on my beat”

⋆ ˖ ✮🖋️ “Sometimes all I think about is you- late nights in the middle of June, heat waves been fakin’ me out, can’t make you happier now”

⋆ ˖✮pile 3✮˖ ⋆

⋆ ˖ ✮ ˖ ⋆

⋆ ˖ ✮🖋️ Page of Swords (reversed), Seven of Cups, Six of Cups (reversed), The High Priestess (reversed), The Moon (bottom of deck)

⋆ ˖ ✮🖋️ Cancer/Pisces/Scorpio placements, Libra/air placements, Leo/fire Placements, 5th house placements (Venus, Mars, Jupitar, Rising, etc), inner child, old friendships, childhood renewal, 1111, 333, 444, Only Yesterday (1991), horses, channeled songs, Wildflowers and Wild Horses - Lainey Wilson, Cheap Queen - King Princess

⋆ ˖ ✮🖋️ Ok- Hi my pile 3s! and also my pile 2s because some of yall did not leave yet and have stayed for the next reading- like seriously this whole pac is connected rn- also happy 1111 as I write this!!! um oh my gosh let me start- you are so beautiful, yes I said it for the 3rd time in this pac post why are you on my ass‼️- its so true, you all have this classic beauty, it is timeless- you are timeless- or from a different time in your aura, your beauty, how you carry yourself in this world- etc etc… and when I say “different time” I don’t just mean you embody this feminine/masculine balance straight out of the 1970s, 40s, 50s, 20s,- and all the other time periods before/after I just mentioned- I also mean you still carry with you the time you had as a young child, you carry with you the sunshine you felt on your skin when you were 3-6 yo, and the snow you felt on your hands when you were 8-11… you have kept this purity and innocence and grown with it- and holy cow do I need to congratulate you and the strength of your spirit- so often we are forced to “leave behind” our childhood years and perspective due to difficult events or what people expect of you while you reside in this worldly- world. -which really that just means internalizing and hiding away in the closet the purest state of yourself (*also this is my more queer-centric pile so hellooo my fellow queer community ✨☀️)- this is putting a hole in my own heart being in how free and high spirited you are, and how you fully embody that and always have ☀️. you have kept that warmed and soaked up the same sunshine as you did all those years ago- it might not even feel like years to you, it feels like only yesterday your childhood was your state of being and all around you- and now, you are a bit bigger but you may live in this state that no time has passed- does that make sense?? ugh dude I hope so, your energy is like the sunshine, in that, I can’t reach out and physically be in your presence- but more so I’m trying to sit in your light while my vision gets spotty and I get a little dizzy… as in- you guys are out of this worlddd💫!!! you might even be told by your family or your peers that you tend to make them “dizzy” with how you communicate- you may be the type to jump from one topic to another, while you fold your laundry- and tidy your desk drawers- and walk into another room *backward* because you are still talking and describing a detail that is “important” to the story you were recounting 10 minutes ago- you sweet thing!!!! this is adorable to be in,, if anyone’s ever made you feel bad about how you communicate, do not take it personally- its always good karma to be considerate of other’s sensitivities, but everything you do is so pure hearted- it would be so phony and ridiculous to believe any crap people say about you to be truthful. your energy is so pure and truly yours, this is your sign and confirmation to continue to not live for the external views of others and live life through your own view ☀️. Oh- i keep getting horse imagery- horses may be significant for some of you, it may be your spirit animal or a spirit guide that is close to you may take the energetic appearance of a horse (in particular for some of you it’s a very strong and matured brown colored horse of some breed), or some of you grew up around horses in some way!

Oh this is random but you may be the type to enjoy having your playlists on shuffle lol- because I just suddenly began mentally playing Cheap Queen by King Princess- so this is definitely where I will now channel the dets about your social environment my dear~!! ok sooo- I’m seeing various different types of family dymanics, big families, med sized families, even 2 person families (you + a guardian)- I sense that you have close family ties, and i know family can be complex, so let me state some variouions of what that means- you may have a close familiarity to your family’s home or yard (maybe even your neighborhood area), such as knowing every little creak that your house makes when you go to the kitchen to get a morning cup of water, I’m seeing for some of you- you are very tied to your sibling dymamic if you have siblings (I accidently wrote in all caps at first and I scared myself lol- so you may come from a family where loudness is common part of the jokes you share), or maybe even kids you knew in your neighborhood if you played with them often- things like that have stuck with you inrelation to what you look for in anykind of companionship, a sense of familiarity~ this is def the pile who believes in being drawn to your soulmate(s) or past life connections lol~ so while you have that grounded energy in wanting stablity, you also are an entertainer and you know how to have a good time!! as you should since you totally fly like a fabulous canary from room to room- you should feel more confident when you dance btw, put more energy into your shoulders with joy because the way you move literally energizes people-

now I’m getting messages on how you connect to your inner child, I’ve said before you already naturally embody your inner child (“just in a bigger body” I’m hearing- some of you may have had a big physical growth spirut as a child btw), but some messages in regards to connecting to your inner child for those of you who need some answers is to engage in more activities that return yourself to a past peaceful enviroment, this is also for those who had a more chaotic upbringing and had to turn inwardly for peace ❤️- taste is a really important sense for you returning to that younger state of peace, so certain candies (I’m hearing those fruit rollups I love those still) or fruits, snacks- simple dishes that made younger you excited and brought you joy- also I’m hearing something about sleepovers and evening activities/coziness~ so grab some blankets and make an event of staying up late if you already do that lol- anyways!! let me get back to how fun you truly are to be around my dear, I mean, seriously! If you have the opportunity go out when you can, if you already have a friend or someone familiar go to a house party nearby (keep yourselves safe!), try rollerskating if you haven’t, and get closer to someone you already know and show your colors- DRESS UP!!!! I know life can be bleak especially when you feel that life is very "closed off" and dead lol- but when I tell you the phrase “dress for the life you want”- I mean ittt~ it will align you with the environment that you desire and it will come to you so naturally (in the same way you making a coffee and taking your dog for a walk is a natural occurrence in your life!)- I’m hearing that the connections that you already have in your life are “all you need”, and by that I mean you can build off of those and shoot farther into the sky full of stars meant for you 💫. I’m hearing the quote about drawing back your arrow before you can shoot forward- if you’re feeling stuck right now, this is what I’m trying to tell you, blossom exactly where you are right now, and everything else will simply follow!!! and I know that takes courage but I KNOW you have it because it was child you’s courage that got you to this future you are currently in~ and when you start to embody their courage along with their light, I know it will be the turning point to creating the life you were always dreaming and painting in your mind~ I’m seeing bright neon lights, holding hands and toothy-laughing grins, your clothes looking exactly how you pictured months ago- this is what I see happening in the future!! please stay open to some of the connections you already have- renew them is what I’m hearing (but please follow your intuition, if you need to cut everyone except for one or two true connections then that is the right thing for you to do)- if these are people who you knew when you were a lot younger then bond on the older times and use that energy to renew into more new memories,- these older connections you have you could definitely collaborate with to mutually make new connections and go towards new experiences- I’m hearing maybe even to “get out of this town”... phew pile 3!!!! what a way to end this pac, so happy to have met you and I feel like I took a nap in the sun- I’m really on some hazy ish rn lolll but I really hope I was helpful in any questions or worries on your beautiful mind~ I LOVE YOUUU so much, you better keep on shining- even if that’s just in front of your mirror, that’s perfect and valid ☀️👏

⋆ ˖ ✮🖋️ “I'm five generations of blazin' a trail- through barb-wired valleys and overgrown dells- I'm barefoot and bareback and born tough as nails” - “I push like a daisy through old sidewalk cracks” - “yeah, my kinda crazy's still runnin' its courses with wildflowers and wild horses”

⋆ ˖ ✮🖋️ “I've been alright, I’ve just been doing the same shit I've always liked- like smoking and movies and homies who bring me wine” - “-all of my girls get up early and stay out late- they drive all the way to the west side to see my face- that's good love- and I ain't no big baller when it's fake friends you're callin’”

⋆ ˖

✮

⋆ ˖ ✮🖋️am I actually going to (*schedule to*) post this omg it feels like forever since i did this.. where was i even? whatever- its whatever- holy shit I'm putting myself out there!!!! praise be!!!! omg I'm going to get one extra hour of sleep as a treat🍰

love, vi~♡

[thomaslittlegirl]

Hi! I really enjoy your writing! 🥹 I was wondering if you could consider writing about Cillian being the reader’s boyfriend/husband. He suddenly discovers the reader’s obsession with Tommy somehow, and he makes her dream come true by roleplaying as Tommy in bed. He’s rough and, of course, the complete opposite of how gentle Cillian usually is. 👀 Thank you! 🫶

im glad you like my works! if i remember correctly i have read a similar story, so i tried to make the plot as different as possible. anyway i hope you enjoy it, angel. 🩷

roleplay. cillian murphy — thomas shelby.

warnings; slaps, pussy spanking, creampie. age-gap.

𐙚

cillian was very private when it came to his work. he liked to keep things separate; work on the one hand, his family and personal stuff on the other. he didn't like the lines being blurred and the two things getting mixed up.

for this reason, he preferred his family not interacting with his work. he didn't really like close family watching his movies, it made him a little shy if he was one hundred percent honest.

that's why you kept a secret from him. when you were alone because he was going to some filming, a note or a photo shoot, you looked at the peaky blinders.

there was something that made you completely fierce... seeing your husband, your sweet and tender love being so hard, so bad. you couldn't explain it, you never really talked about it with anyone and it was something you would take to your grave.

how could you explain that it turned you on to watch the series your husband worked on? seeing cillian so out of context was just something else.

since the two became a couple, the relationship has always been based on a lot of love and mutual respect.

having a noticeable age difference, cillian saw you as someone he should protect, someone he should pamper and shower with kisses and affection.

the number of times your boyfriend had raised his voice at you could be counted on the fingers of one hand. the same when it came to getting angry. cillian didn't get angry with you, ever... and if he did, he would simply swallow his anger and solve everything with a sweet kiss on your lips.

he was not someone hard in bed either. although he fucked you like the gods, he was never mistreating you or being mean in the bedroom. he really liked the missionary when you had sex; that way he could see your face and kiss your tears of pleasure, that way he could be attentive to whatever your needs were. simple man.

he never pulled your hair, hit you nor called you degrading names... although some might escape his mouth, never too much.

that's why you felt that way when you saw thomas. the shelby man was really a threat; fucking any whore he came across, treating them as what they were, whores for his pleasure. the hard way he fucked them and how he made them scream with pleasure.

you felt like a teenage virgin, but it really made you wet. it was also weird because your boyfriend wasnt like that irl.

but your secret is revealed; one day you are too tired to notice that your eyes are closing and you simply let sleep overcome you.

the television in front of your bed continues playing the video while you sleep peacefully, hugging your boyfriend's pillow.

cillian arrives home late, a little exhausted from spending so much time outside doing the things he needed to do. the man takes off his leather shoes and begins to walk towards the bedroom, shuffling his feet.

when he opens the door to the room he gets a surprise. he recognizes his own voice, he recognizes that gangster accent that he knew how to use for a long time. his eyes go to the television and he watches as scenes from the peaky blinders play on the screen.

he feels out of place and a little confused too. you never looked at his works, you knew it made him a little shy... so why was the whole damn search based on videos of him, being thomas shelby? why were all the videos you had seen small frames of him playing the role of the gangster?

cillian laughed when he saw that the previously played videos were based on fight scenes, but his laughter was silenced when he saw all the clips of him fucking the women.

you had watched too many of those... for not saying almost all the scenes. his cheeks turned red and his gaze returned to your body; sleeping, hugging his pillow bathed in expensive perfume... as peaceful as a good girl, as if you hadn't used his hard and dirty sex scenes as white noise.

murphy suddenly understands it, or thinks he understands it.

cautiously, cillian turns off the television and walks to the bed. the light from the nightstand is not that high but it is enough to allow him to see you resting peacefully. murphy goes to the changing room and grabs a beret, a gray one. he takes a look in the mirror and smiles shyly; his heart beats desperately as if he were a child about to do some prank.

he comes back to your side.

the man positions himself on top of you, with both of his legs at your sides. murphy licks his lips and bends down to start leaving bites on your neck.

"cillian?" you ask, smiling as you smell the man's characteristic perfume.

"try again." he says, pressing his crotch against yours. you open your eyes, suddenly feeling horny.

"baby?" you insist.

"negative." he answers, his tongue running over your neck and part of your jaw. "maybe i should fuck you until all you can think about is me."

you listen to the accent which he speaks to you... and you understand it.

"tommy?"

"finally."

you blink several times trying to get used to the light on your nightstand. cillian lies on top of you, in his black pants, white shirt, and beret. a copy of him.

"am i still dreaming?" your question comes out in a whisper, confused. the man in front of you laughs.

"maybe. " his hand outlines one of your tits and then slowly lowers until it enters your underwear.

"what are you doing?" you ask, wetting your lips with your tongue.

"taking what belongs to me, playing with my favorite cunt." cillian's middle finger presses against your clit and then down to your entrance, testing with the tip of his fingers.

“cillian…” you gasp.

the man slaps your pussy. "wrong, whore. try again." you bite your lips at the burning you feel in your lower part and murmur again.

"tommy... it feels so good." thomas laughs. "it was supposed to be a punishment, but sluts like you like anything i give to them." you squeeze around nothing, dirty talk doing wonders to moisten your walls. "hands on the headboard." he orders, and you quickly obey.

thomas takes off his belt and uses it to tie your hands to the bed. the older man pulls down your underwear, delighting in having your sex naked in front of him. "now you're going to count for me." he indicates, and starts slapping your cunt. "come on, pet. count."

one.

two.

three.

four.

five.

when thomas finishes your pussy is red hot, burning and dripping, contracting in the air and begging to be filled.

"poor pussy." he laments, caressing your hip bones. "its so sore i don't know if it can handle daddy's cock." your eyes open.

"can handle it." you say quickly. "please."

shelby smiles and bends over, spitting on your pussy to make it even wetter. he smiles when he sees your face of pleasure, totally lost in the sensations, in the vulnerability.

the man spits into his hand and pumps his erection a little. his cock is about to explode, eager to paint your walls white with his warm semen.

he hits your pussy with the head of his cock a few times, teasing you until he finally sinks into your warm walls.

cillian would have waited for you to get used to it, but it's thomas who's fucking you, so he starts pounding you hard. "balls deep inside your cunnie." he says, as if you don't feel it in your gut.

he fucks you hard, hard and deep.

"god... god..." you murmur, and you feel a slap on your cheek.

"i didn't say you could talk, whore." he says, giving you another slap. "keep quiet, you're nothing but a cunt."

you clench painfully on his cock, biting your lips to try to shut up. it's useless, your moans escape alone.

"tommy..." he continues to fuck you like an animal, harshly raping your warm walls. the sound of your wetness and the slapping of the skins is driving him crazy.

thomas squeezes one of your tits and plays with your nipple.

"thomas is going to give you his hot cum in your beautiful pussy." he talks, caressing one of your cheeks.

you look at him, teary. feeling so good.

"open your mouth." he asks, giving you another slap. when you open your mouth, he spits into it. his saliva sliding down your throat feels as good as drinking water after spending days dehydrated.

thomas lets go of your tit to start rubbing your clit, making you cum around his cock. you squeeze so hard that the man is forced to cum too, filling you with his seed.

"there... there you go... daddy's hot milk for his princess."

cillian pulls out of you, watching as your abused pussy lets his cum flow from your insides.

the man caresses your cheek and unties your hands. your little pout asking for a kiss makes his heart melt and he grants it to you, kissing you sweetly.

"we have to do it again." you ask, and he laughs out loud.

"you're really crazy, my baby."

[rieamena]

three and five

ken sato—

wc: 1.6k contains: afab reader, smut, fluff, lots of kisses, petnames (reader uses fem!aligned ones), breeding kink, mating press, multiple positions, both you and kenji being whipped for each other, marriage of 8 years, you have kids together (6 year old twins), you call ken daddy once (im sorry) author's note: first smut was ken sato, second was billy kid, this time its ken sato again and i will say that what they say is true. the third time is really the charm. idk what possessed me while i was writing this but i wanna say a big thank you to whatever did nsfw ,, mdni

"oh, my beautiful wife~" kenji sings, plopping down next to you on the couch, head finding immediate comfort in your warm, plush thighs. this is how days spent without the kids usually went, your special set of twins spent the day (and night) at ami's, playing and complaining about homework with chiho, leaving you and your husband of eight years to unwind and spend some alone time together. "yes, my lovely husband?" a hand raked through his hair, massaging his scalp. ken lifted your unoccupied hand, pressing a kiss to it before using it to cover his eyes, the entire action painfully slow. from kenji's point of view, you're more than an angel on earth, you're his faith, his belief. words cannot express how grateful he is to you for choosing him—for staying with him— despite all the challenges

"i love you." three short words that held all the meaning in the world. your husband made it a habit to tell them to you everyday without fail. like that night five months after you moved in together when he was dealing with yet another kaiju attack. he rushed out of the house, powering up into ultraman, but he didn't forget to stop by the window where you watched on. how could he? ken pointed at himself, then formed a heart with his hands, before finally pointing at you. even though his body physically looked different, and you couldn't see his pretty, expressive face, you knew with every fiber in your body that he was grinning widely. or that time when he woke up at 11:58 pm and shook you awake for a minute to tell you that he loved you one more time just before the clock hit twelve. but despite all of that, all of those i love yous, this one felt different. "i love you so much." at this rate, you were starting to get suspicious. when you tried to remove your hand, ken held it against his eyes firmly

"are you crying, or just embarrassed?" "can you say it back." "i love you too, ken sato." "i love you more, mrs. sato."

kenji's face was now pressed against your stomach as you rubbed circles into his back. a series of mmphs were heard along with the vibrations of your tummy. "sweetheart, i can't hear you." "right," ken said as he pulled himself away, pecking your stomach goodbye, "i was just saying how i read an article that said three is a really good number. things that come in three are easier to remember," you felt ken's head rest between the crook of your neck and shoulder, and you habitually brought your hand to his hair. "and five is also a nice number," he continued, "it's nice to look at in terms of objects, and it's clear to see if something's missing, and—" "i have a feeling this is no longer about numbers." you cut him off, looking deeply into his eyes

"our babies could use another sibling, no? i'll go with whatever decision you make, angel. do you want another baby?" "maybe…" "can i… fill you up?" "always."

"i'm gonna give us another one," kenji mutters against the back of your thigh, his thin hands pushing them to your chest, "don't waste a drop, okay?" you nod your head feverishly, gasping when his length settled into your dripping cunt. "oh f-fuck…" he moans, not only gripping tightly onto your body but also to his sanity, "you-you're so good, 's been too long, baby." you and ken have barely been able to have sex for six years, dealing with the combined stress of two children. and the last time you two did try something, you both ended up passing out less than halfway through. "can't believe i forgot how good your dick is," you mewled, feeling like it was your first time with kenji all over again. at the sound of that, ken began to move his hips, sliding in and out of you painfully slowly. "i'll make sure that never happens again, doll." a few movements passed before you felt a liquid filling you up. "ken," your hand met his face, bringing it up to look at you, his eyes shrouded in embarrassment as he came so quickly, "the more times you cum inside, the better, okay?" sharp dark eyes met yours, and ken shook his head, breathily chuckling, "you're really something, y'know that?" the sudden snap of his hips against your thighs made your body jolt. his face flushed a slight pink, deepening intensely when he heard your moans and giggles of pleasure

god, he loved you. you and your cunt that never failed to suck him so good, those gummy walls that always squelched and spasmed at the right time, pleading for it to be painted white. his hand trailed to your sensitive clit, prodding it with his thumb, harshly rubbing circles into it. "w-wait—" you gasped, feeling his length leave and enter you with a newfound quickness. "kenj—ah! oh f-fuck, baby, i'm gonna—" your moans got obnoxiously loud as he pounded into you, cock getting impossibly harder as he listened to your sweet voice call out his name so lewdly. "gonna cum?" "mmm! feels s-so good. you're—mmm, yeah, just like that…, made for m-me, ken…" it was embarrassing how cute kenji found you, your brain used up all of its power to make coherent sentences just for it all to be about him and how good his cock made you feel. "this is also made for you." he breathed raggedly, moaning your name uncontrollably as he felt his seed escape his slit and settle into your welcoming walls. at the same moment, you clenched around him, sucking him in even tighter than before, legs shaking and chest heaving. kenji looked down at your state, rubbing hands over your body to bring you down. to ken, you're always the prettiest girl, especially at your post-orgasm state. "you're makin' it so hard to not destroy you right now." it was so light, ken could barely hear it: "please destroy me. make me carry more of your babies. kenji, breed me."

throwing one of your legs over his shoulder, kenji pulled out briefly, just to slap himself against your entrance and slide right back into you, dick already missing the warmth of being buried inside of you. one hand held your leg in place, the other was stationed at your waist, its grip so tight, it—amongst other places—would without a doubt be bruised by the morning. suckling on your chest, ken pulled and pushed out of you slowly, in order to not overstimulate you too much, but a single tear fell from your eyes and that was all he needed. "fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK KENJI—" your string of curses could be heard throughout the neighborhood. you've been pounded by ken before but never like this. it couldn't be called fucking, no, he was making love to you. he took your body into his like a carnal desire. his tip was hitting places you didn't even know you had, making tears well up in your eyes and fall seconds later

"stop that baby, i'm supposed to be the one pleasuring you." ken said in between soft kisses to your cheeks, forehead, and lips, moving the hand you snaked to your sensitive bud. lacing his fingers with yours, kenji felt his mind go blank, feeling your walls adjust to remember his dick. he was moving, not only because he wanted to but because he felt like he had to. if he stopped even for a second, he might go insane. "mmm-more, please, i nee-need m-more…," you squeezed his hand nearly at the same time your pussy clenched around him. "fuck, angel, ah–! 'm gonna, 'm gonna, 'm so close… please pleaseplease…" he begged for you, thighs shaking and spasming as he heard your voice say those sweet five words, "give it to me, daddy." ken's vision went white, matching your walls. as he reluctantly pulled out of you, he closed his eyes, relying on his sense of touch to soothe him. he felt all over your body, his touch like fire against your skin. nimble fingers teasing over your shoulders, then breasts, waist, hips, and thighs. he even lifted you up slightly to get a feel of your ass. a warm liquid dribbled out of your core and onto kenji's thigh, your mind was unbelievably hazy, barely registering how your own body betrayed you

"kennn, come back to me," you whined, caressing his bicep with your hand as if to coax him out of his trance, "it was jus' too much, i couldn't keep it all in. 'm sorry…"

"i told you not to waste any of it." ken spoke against the shell of your ear, "guess i'll just have to give you more then," his voice was cracking, and you could hear his small whimpers and moans escape as he talked to you, "how many more loads do you want, love?" his thick and veiny cock rested atop your tummy, deathly overstimulated yet begging for more. he wanted nothing more in that moment than to fully submit himself to you; he was yours and yours alone. weakly holding up a finger, you looked away embarrassedly causing your husband to laugh, "one? nah, i'll give you three. it's a special number, remember? our special number…" he pressed a deep kiss to your lips, thrusting back into you sharply, practically pushing his cum out of your fucked out pussy, long forgetting the sanity that he tried so hard to grasp onto

"get ready princess, we'll have another little one to take care of very soon."

divider by @/cafekitsune

ken sato taglist

@mochminnie @despacito-uwu16 @yellowheartz @ririkacchi @ifharbingerbad--whyhot 

@reit0o @heavenlyraindrops @lovingyeet @stickypaperstarlight @raee-dreeaaamz 

@rreasonablydumbb @bandolls @gingersnap126126 @automalvo @spiderboogie 

@shellspider @blogscach @nightingale047 @deadbydad @deadbydad-writes 

@phantomface @spencerrxids @moonjellyfishie @optimisticladysalad @tsumimimi 

@purplegobrrrrrr @sillybillyp9 @cyberpsiko @swaggyv1v1 @l-charl 

@miffysoo @aise-30 @bakugouswaif @rinaizha @goodomenslover20

@biderman-666 @jaowiwh-blog @lazulihrts @meloncreme @woahhajime

@theboredhooman @pr0bablyr0se @jinshikinoku @sxftiebee @your-left-sock 

@teyamswifeyy

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Sloppy Arackniss Redesign (?)

Before I get into this, clarifying, I SAY SLURS IN THIS!!! I CAN RECLAIM SAID SLURS!!! That is all thank you. I kiss boys and love men. Carry on.

Arackniss’s design is bound to change drastically sometime eventually but atm this is just what im doing. My main problem is how he just looks exactly like angel but black. I know thats originally what the whole thing is and they’re opposites but it’s just kinda boring now. Angel is an entirely different character at this point now and Arackniss’s design should accommodate the changes while still being a bit similar looking. I want him to still look very similar to Angel in specific ways like that stupidass headshape but not because of a sibling thing. Honestly when the two were alive they hardly looked anything alike I’m 100% sure of that. Antonio (Arackniss) had black hair and much broader features and was relatively tall and kind of bulky while Anthony & Molly had light blonde hair and more subtle and soft round features and basically one of the only ways to tell them apart aside from personality was Anthony having polycoria and having bloodshot eyes pretty often.

Arackniss hardly looks how he did when he was alive anymore and has taken on many more features of Angel because of his deep rooted rivalry with his brother. I assume hating your middle-child brother that literally got named after you only to have him overdose and kill himself before actually doing anything with his life is enough to stir up more than a little bit of inner turmoil. These guys probably beat each other up OFTEN. Antonio was the first born son and dealt with so much shit before these other guys even were born and when they did show up, Anthony was named after him because their parents honestly just got lazy, and even though Molly didn’t have the name Molly yet, she was still treated like a golden child even though she contributed next to nothing to the family business which yeah that helped her in the long run but to Antonio that’s his number one priority in life. Appeasing his family is what keeps his brain running. And with that, seeing this random kid show up, get named after you, and be treated so much more leniently than you were AND he’s practically your problem because youre 15 hes like fucking 3 years old and your parents are busy all of the goddamn time AND when you DIE you take on the traits of this stupid fucking kid. He has a horrid case of eldest child syndrome and probably some insane identity issues.

This isn’t to say his hatred is only directed at Anthony either, he definitely has his issues with Molly as well, but she kept more to herself and even if she followed Anthony nonstop she was copying what Anthony was doing instead of what he was doing. Copying is the highest form of flattery but flattery gets annoying when everyone cares about the younger “better behaved” version of you. This is one of the biggest reasons Arackniss berates Angel now and in the past. Even though they havent spoken in years, Arackniss still holds Angel to the status of “faggot” because that was practically the only thing he was “worse” than him at. It was the biggest dirt he had on Angel possible to the point that became a genuine used name for him as Anthony “the fag” Benetti. Finding out your angel of a brother is gay during a time where it’s heavily frowned upon, especially by your own family is like a gold mine.

Arackniss is NOT a good person if you couldn’t somehow tell already. He’s homophobic, has a masculinity and classism problem, has little to no regard for other’s well being, and a bunch of other shit. For as distressed as he was over Anthony’s death, a lot of it was because it left their family even more dysfunctional. To him it was Anthony abandoning everyone because they weren’t worth enough to keep him going and then in return he continues to be praised and talked about so wonderfully as if he never did anything wrong “just because he’s dead”.

Thats just BEFORE Arackniss died too! AFTER dying shit got even worse to the extent he ended up even getting disowned! How fun!! This part delves more into Husk and his backstory as well which I think I may save for another time, but these guys know each other and have a lot of beef and also simultaneously are kind of chill in an odd way? By the way, Angel also has the big neck puff, he just shaves it because he doesn’t like the look and like association from trauma

[purrplegyuu]

That do you think are the top 3 kink's of treasure??😶‍🌫️

Aye! Sorry for taking this long😭, i’ve been a little busy but here i am. Also, i think i should warn you guys ‘cause i’m not actually very informed about kinks and kinks’ names, so you’ll find some made up ones, sorry.

Hyunsuk’s might be praising kink as number one. This little man would love to listen to you tell him how much you like the way he touches you, the way he looks, how talented he is with his fingers. I think it’s kind of over-used for the producer and leader of every single kpop group but cock warming while he’s working. And finally, love kink (i dont think thats a real kink but idc), my man is just too sweet and too in love, so he would be down for everything if it’s with his loved one. (Such a softie, ik)

Jihoon is a lot into pain kink, like he would go crazy either slapping your pussy or your ass or biting your neck. Strength kink because he is strong—man he is totally the type to manhandle you in thousands of ways just to show you just how stronger he is and just how helpless you are. And finally, size kink. The fact that he’s able to cover your body completely under his… man i’m done🫠. Plus, he would go rock hard the next day after having sex when he sees you struggling to getting up because your legs are weak and your womb hurts, because, again, pain kink. (Yeah yeah, i already said that in the last one post, sorry!)

Junkyu is pretty weird because while some people see him as a sweet cutie pookie little angel, this man is a freak. To begin with, he would be A LOT into bdsm (specially bondage), so there will always be a rope or a pair of handcuffs hanging on the nightstand for him to keepyour hands still (and whenever it’s not, don’t worry, he’ll just use his tie). And never ask him not to cum inside of you because this will only lead on him cumming at least three times more in your womb because here comes his second kink: Junkyu’s breeding kink is crazy. And whenever he cums inside of you, he will hold your neck strongly and choke you just a little— he likes to see the way your body spasms under his, and then goes weak slowly. But hey, you started this! He always tell you not to retain your breath whenever you come.

Yoshi is a little bit weird to me because I sometimes can totally see him as a dom, but then i just feel he’s just a soft subbie, so let me figure it out… degrading AND praising. Likes to listen to you saying you love him, and the way he looks right after licking you whole, and the way he makes you feel, but will also go crazy when you tell him he can’t satisfy you enough and that you might need to look for another pretty boy to fuck instead. And the switch dynamic come back when we talk about his breeding kink—his soft subbie self (the normal one actually) would just love the idea of you carrying his children in between you arms, while his other side would just love the way you look all pregnant, the way your boobs would grow up and the way you ask him to fuck you because you’re feeling needy after two months without sex. (Oh no, i might have gone a little too far with that one🌚)

Jaehyuk is another one i think everyone is getting confused with since shining solo because he looked so submissive, but hear me out. We have another freak. He is also very into bdsm, and sometimes he might have gone a little too far before, so you had to decide a safe word because you never mean it when you ask him to stop. He just overwhelms you too much by edging you with you ping vibrator (‘cause edging is his second kink) and makes you loose yourself with every slap he gives to your pussy. And I shouldn’t say this, but I saw recently an animated porn video (im so much of a loser, sorry) in which a girl is trapped on the hole of a wall and a guy (who ends up being her boyfriend) fucks her for hours, until he cums inside of her and then… he pees… inside of her. Idk, it just screamed Jaehyuk to me so pissing kink. We’ll never mention that again, ok? Hehe

Asahi is the unkinkiest member among all treasure members imo. Sex with him is very vainilla, so I can’t actually come up with anything hot, sorry.

Doyoung is that kind of gentleman who would never admit any of his perversions, but once he actually trusts you, man, it’s gonna be a long night. Would go down on you, taking one of you legs and putting in your shoulder while your other try to hold your whole body up, and would lick you pussy for hours, even after you came twice and ask him endlessly to stop because you’re already too overstimulated. This is his first kink, and asking you to pee in his mouth when you tell him you really need to go to the bathroom is his second kink. And making you squirt would be his third (again, is that a kink?).

Haruto kinda gives me the vibes of a slightly perv guy who feels guilty over his “forbidden desires” so just hides them since he thinks he’s too dirty. However, they are not that dark—not only sexually, but in all the ways, he likes physically smaller girls, so size kink, and that would also lead to the second kink: bulge kink. And keeping your hands still by tying them with his tie is the third.

Jeongwoo is a little darker than everyone else. He’s the kind of guy who watches and repeats on his dreams. The first would be overstimulation (guess y’all already know what it is), the second would be hate kink (don’t know if it exists either but like having sex with someone he genuinely hates) and cervix penetration (which is not penetration actually, but like being so far deep inside your pussy, that he can hit your cervix over and over again).

Junghwan is also strong, so even if i know it is a little obvious and basic to day so, strength kink. Same with his size kink. And this one might take some by surprise but… praising kink. He’s just so cute and little and cute and lovely. Would become from the hardest dom to the sweetest subbie whenever he hears some barely sweet words coming out of your pretty mouth.

[lovebvni]

Winter Themed Pick-A-Pile !! (from 12.21.21)

❍⌇─➭ welcome to ﹀﹀     ︵↷

⌗my blog : ๑ ˚ ͙۪۪̥◌ ⌨꒱

Here are the questions we'll be answering today! Summited by the LOVELY Rozy !!

1. What do I need to do to fully shift?

2. Shifting advice from your spirit guides.

3. Shifting journey for this month.

4. Advice from your s/o.

There will be 4 piles today, all unique, but you can always pick more than one!! But remember, everything comes with a grain of salt because this is an amino with over a THOUSAND people in it. It wont be specific just to you ! Also, if you're unsure, just do this for me.

Take a deep breath in....

Hold for 3

Now let it out and allow your intuition to speak.

The first number 1-4 that comes to mind, THAT'S going to be your pile. If more than one comes, trust it.

[1, 2

3,4]

Pile 1 - With your perfect toes TRIGGER WARNING : DERALISATION IN THE 3RD QUESTION, ALSO DEPRESSION AND MENTIONS OF TRAUMA/SH

Spirit, What does Pile 1 need to fully shift? Like a final push?

The Hierophant (R), The Devil (R) The Chariot

I feel like you guys need to let go of traditions, or routines! You don't need ANYTHING other than yourself to shift, you're powerful! Your doubts, I feel like you're silently telling yourself you'll never shift, You will ! I promise, so STOP telling yourself you're weak, worthless, etc. Then you're gonna STRIVE!

Shifting advice, from your spirit guides !

King of Swords, 2 of Pentacles (R), 10 of Swords (R)

Okay wait, let me say something, I think you're shifting before january 1st... I got 10 of swords and thats like the end of waiting for something. Realize your power, and the good things will run to YOU !! Write a letter to SOMEONE, ANYONE in your dr ! I feel like they'll be really happy about it ! I see an abundance of good luck and success for you guys, just the weight of the world being lifted off you, just so much peace, happiness, love, abundance, GOD I love you guys sm, keep working for you goal ! Just - GOD I LOVE THIS I CANT IM GOING TO CRY!! I FELT MY HEART JUST FLOAT ITS - GODDAMIT I CANT WORDS !

Your shifting journey this month

Page of Pentacles (R), King of Swords, 3 of Swords + Ace of Pentacles

I don't think you guys have that great attraction to this reality... I feel as if you're going to suffer this WHOLE month because of one bad thing that happened, you heart is in pain, you want to end it all, DONT! I see a new beginning for you this month, so PLEASE! Don't stop trying, everything seems like its falling apart, it's not I swear!

General Advice from your s/o

10 of Pentacles(R), The Devil, The Chariot

OKAY WAIT THESE ARE THE SAME CARDS FROM QUESTION ONE??? THE DEVIL AND THE CHARIOT - BUT THIS TIME THE DEVIL IS UPRIGHT...

But they saying stop obsessing over someone/something, like material possessions? but probably not, that only applies to some of you. There's stuff going on around you, and I can tell, that's black energy, let go of it, cleanse it, FUCKING BLOCK IT OUT! That will help you move forward a LOT !!!

I hope this pile made you realize something !! also check this out below !!

IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT THIS PILE (personality traits, things i kept hearing, important things/people, angel numbers): distractions, shifting for your s/o, love, lack of self-love, misunderstood, determined, "it's set in stone", "It's stuck in my chest", messages, lots of signs, heartbreak, blood,  the colour red, Himiko Toga, Hisoka (bestie idk), derealization, spacing out, ADHD, ADD, attention disorders, stop - no go, WAIT STOP (almost like things you're being told are contradicting), material girl, Air signs, Capricorns, Cancer, Fire signs, 555, 111, 1111

Pile 2 - the deer is gonna start chasing you soon, NOW RUN !!!

Spirit, What does Pile 2 need to fully shift? Like a final push?

The Empress, 8 of Wands, 8 of cups

Realize. I could stop right there, but you just need to REALIZE everything. You are SO LOVED !! You have so many good things coming to you. A union is coming, I can tell your shifting for someone, probably friends and just to have fun.Walk away from ALL the doesn't serve you, things that aren't helping, worthless things.

Spirit, can Pile 2 have some shifting advice?

Ace of Cups, The Lovers, 10 of Wands

Okay, there is a new beginning coming, but you need to realize you need to SPEND TIME with your partner, weather in your cr or dr, I feel like they miss you and feel lieft out rom your life.

Can I know something about Pile 2's shifting journey this month?

6 of Wands, The Empress, 2 of Swords(R)

You're going to win SOME kind of fight !! I feel like you guys are going to get your first shift or a BIG boost of motivation to shift. But you guys are SO FUCKING WORRED ABT IT ! choose where and when you wanted to shift, stop making changes to your script.

Does Pile 2's s/o have any general advice?

The Devil (R), Ace of Cups, 5 of Cups

You're being freed soon! You cup isn't going to be half full or half empty, ITS GOING TO BE OVERFLOWING!! You're going to let go of SOMETHING or SOMEONE and that's going to make such a difference. They love you btw! < 333 Positive energy is coming !

IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT THIS PILE (personality traits, things i kept hearing, important things/people, angel numbers):  Hunchback, sitting weird, overthinker, Panic attacks, Panic Room - Au/Ra, intuition driven, physic, Cancer, Water signs, 888

OMG PILE 3 IS GETTING MARRIED !!! ROUND OF APPLAUSE !!!

What does pile 3 need to shift? Do they even need to do something?

Ace of Swords (R), Queen of Swords, 2 of Cups

Okay, you guys need to get out your little shitty bubbly and TALK TO PEOPLE !! This will help a lot, I feel like talking to shifters will help, like-minded people are ALWAYS the best to speak to. I know, you're independent, but you can't do everything alone.

We need shifting advice for pile 3, I've been doing this for 4 hours PLEASE -

Knight of Cups, Wheel of Fortune, Judgement (R)

Your prince is coming~ they could also be a princess. Come True - khai dreams, Forest came on so uh.... listen to that  But realize good things are coming to you ! Focus on the best version of yourself, you're a ruler ! You are NOT what anyone negatively says to you, you're amazing.

Pile 3's shifting journey this month?

Page of Swords, Strength, Judgement (R)

If you have the strength, determination, and reality to shift this month, you will.

General advice from Pile 3's s/o's

5 of Pentacles, 8 of Cups, The Emperor

I dropped all my cards during this omg... but major Bakugou vibes. You're going to get everything you've ever wanted and more IF you just TALK, SPREAD UR WISDOM !!! Just make a blog on something, you prob have drafts you should inish it and post it

IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT THIS PILE (personality traits, things i kept hearing, important things/people, angel numbers): Air signs, independence, introvert, 1010, Denki Kaminari, Hunter x Hunter(listen to the intro song rn), Clumsy

Pile 4, FINALLY, bestie i've been at this for 5 hours

What does Pile 4 need to fully shift?

10 of Cups, Ace of Cups, The Chariot

Go check out Pile 1 after this, but I feel like you guys need to ground yourself. You want to go to one reality, then the next, then the next, in like a dAY this will lead you to move forward with a new beginning.

Shifting advice from your Spirit Guides.

The Hierophant, Page of Wands, The Devil

When you try to shift, look at it like you WILL shift, like you ARE shifting, you ARE in your dr, like you HAVE succeeded !! Any time you get bad news, just be happy, be accepting of it !!

Shifting journey for this month.

9 of Wands, Queen of Cups (R), 7 of Swords (R)

Okay, sadly, you are not shifting this month because of how much you have to changeee, literally I- if you dooooo its because you make a dramatic change quickly. I'd be REALLY suprized if you do shift because you are STUBBORN ASF !!! You're ignoring signs and warnings, stop. Stop.

Advice from you s/o

6 of Wands, Knight of Wands, The Lovers

Socialize, try to get in a better position by talking to others. I feel like you're taking a trip/going on a journey so enjoy it !!! You're going to meet new peopleand you'll be excited, and hell maybe even meet a cr s/o.

IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT THIS PILE (personality traits, things i kept hearing, important things/people, angel numbers): Disappointed, sad, sorry, Fire Signs, stubborn asses, Katsuki Bakugou

Okay guys! I hope you enjoyed the pick-a-pile!! I do private readings if you need anything ! I hope this resonated !! Again sorry pile 4 for being a bit bitchy but Spirit said what Spirit said, and sorry for everyone going through anything, it will get better soon !!!/gen

[luvo27]

anyways jack drake is living in normalworldeverydayguyplace and wondering if he's wasting his life trying to apply to grad school for history because he doesn't want to be a teacher or anything and he's having major regrets when he sees a kid about to get hit by a train, jumps in to save him and dies

he wakes up. he's standing in a sunny street and there's a train flying towards his head and there's a woman with dark hair and the most beautiful blue eyes he's ever seen in his life and now he's certain that he's dead, because one, he was just hit by a train, and two, this woman grabbing his arm must be an angel

the woman drags jack out of the way of the train and shouts something like, "are you an actual idiot for real?"

and jack is like, "no, actually im graduating with a 3.9 gpa,"

and the woman is like, "oh my god you're an idiot for real. first time in metropolis?"

and jack is like, "city city? who came up with that?"

and she's like, "holy fuck well i cannot let you wander around on your own did you get your mind wiped-"

"mind wipes don't exist-"

"I'm janet. you're coming with me, and also do you want to get nasty?"

so janet becomes jack drakes guide to the dc universe.

conversations abound like, "so, dr. psycho. good guy, like dr. strange?"

"who the fuck is dr. strange?"

"From marvel?"

"What the fuck is marvel? no, dr. psycho sucks."

"sucks like ultron or sucks like magneto?"

"literally what the fuck are you talking about?"

and as janet teaches jack about the alternate history of this strange new world where superpowers and superheroes are real, jack rediscovers his passion for history. janet, in seeing her universe through a new pair of eyes, also finds herself falling in love with history

they go to grad school and become archaeologists together

they watch a lot of wonder woman speeches and things. the existence of the amazons and their culture utterly fascinates jack. time capsule culture is an archaeologists wet dream.

through their studies and travels and learning about the world together, jack and janet fall deeply, deeply in love. they move to gotham because jack doesnt technically exist as a person and they can get away with it there. they get married. they have a baby boy. they name him tim

time passes. they all get older, jack and janet go on an expedition, their plane goes down, there's a villain who isn't a racist caricature and janet dies and batman is too late to save her, and jack is grievously injured

without janet, this new world of superheroes loses its luster. Jack wants no part of it anymore, he remembers the good old days where people died normally, in accidents and regular murders and to illness

so when he finds out his son is one of the heroes in the world, he almost kills batman

time passes. jack gets to know his son without this secret in the way, through tim's eyes he is once again reopened to the world of heroes, in a different way than janet did it, but his eyes are opened again regardless.

he understands now, that this world of heroes means that regular, ordinary people like his son can save untold numbers of lives in a way they couldn't in his old world.

and then he dies. rip.

[gojosprettyprincess]

Could we get a bit of a backstory on you and your bsf relationship? I'm sorry if this is a bit personal, I'm just really invested and I'd like to know more like how long you guys been friends- how you guys discovered these feelings for each other; like a tiny memoir

Omg ofc!!! It��s nothing personal I’d love to share.

It was the second month of freshman year in hs and he was in every single one of my classes and I always thought that he was lonely bc I never saw him talking to anyone. And I felt bad so I would randomly just say hi to him whenever I see him and he would look at me weirdly bc I was just this random ass girl he knew nothing about, saying hi to him.😭😭

Till one day in October it was the first time we actually had a conversation when I said hi to him as usual and he was asking me if I played any video games and I did, I have a ps4 so I told him yeah and he was a cringe genshin nerd so he asked me for my number so we can play together.

And since that day we became friends and started texting and got to know each other more and he was actually a very cool and nice guy but then I believe like 3 weeks after, he sent me a long ass paragraph telling me he had feelings for me and would complete understand if I said no to him because he wasn’t the best looking guy back then and he wasn’t really my type so I rejected him nicely ofc and said that I’m happy to be friends and that I wasn’t interested in a relationship rn because in middle school 6-8 grade i got taken advantage by this guy that was like 2 years older and he did a lot of bad stuff to me so I just didn’t want to be in a relationship bc that ruined me mentally and I wasn’t well.

But fast forward to December, I actually started developing feelings for him bc he was such a sweet guy to me like I’m telling you this guy would give me all the answers for the homework and would always be there to me, like I’ve never met a guy as wonderful as him. So yeah I liked him and ended up asking him out to be my bf in February.

We started dating and it was going really fucking great, like I’d literally fucking cry to God and wonder what tf I did to deserve an angel like him and it felt too good to be true because of how good he was to me, I never experienced something like that before and since I had a lot of trauma, I started assuming him to doing bad things behind my back just bc I was being paranoid so I was just being really horrible and calling him bad name and taking it out on him till eventually it got unhealthy in our relationship and he became so sad like I fucking ruined him bro, I’m literally crying while writing this because my best friend is literally a fucking angel, he never did anything bad to me and never would :(

But the year after that, in June( ending of sophomore year) we broke up but we stayed best friends and our relationship got better eventually and I got over all my trauma and I’m obviously treating him way better now bc our relationship lasted till up to the ending of sophomore year in hs and I’m a sophomore in college rn so Im more matured and I’m a better person now and I treat him really well rn LIKE OUR RELATIONSHIP IS GREAT and we’re both healed and we love each other!! And we’ve been best friends for technically 5 years now!!

[alanshee-keeper-of-realms]

He's a Loser baby, but I Want him to be My Loser, Baby

Tw: Attempted end of life,

Synopsis: After Angel tries to end himself, Husk decides to finally do something...even if that means his loyalty is on the line,

A/N: so I have a theory Husk is going to free Angel, this plays out the Theory,

.

Husk would never forget hearing Charlie scream, which was saying a lot seeing as they were in Hell number one, but knowing it's someone you care for, he and the several occupants of the hotel had been relaxing a relatively calm day. Angel hadn't come down, but he had had a rough night, the former overlord had been wanting to keep a closer eye on the Spider Demon since he was happier, and not in the masking type of way

Husk had seen the signs of being suicidal before, the relaxed nature as they knew that they'd not have to worry soon,

He would blame himself for the rest of his existence for not stopping Angel before he went to his room,

Charlie had offered to go check on him worried something was wrong, (oh was it) Husk literally flying up the steps with Vaggie as Charlie knelt over Angel who was on the floor, one of the angelic blades they had just used on the ground beside him

And the blood, oh sweet lord it was everywhere, but his ears perked up, he heard straggled breathing and produced a mirror holding it in front of the others face he saw it fog and realized the other was still alive,

"Charlie I need you to get him on the bed Vaggie you bandage him, he's just unconscious."

The anger and fury he felt, he knew who this was the marks that littered the others form besides the damage Angel had done, that he'd hidden this was so much worse, he felt something snap,

Marching out of the room he was already formulating a plan, the biggest thing hinged on getting a certain radio demon on board, Alastor made him jolt as he appeared, he hated when the other did so,

"You wish to request something my dear Husker?" He purred, eyebrow raised

"Yeah, I want to challenge Valentino for Angel's contract, but I have ta ask you first. All soulsI get, go to you. Angie, though I want to offer im his freedom if I can"

His smile deepened, and Husk could see the glee in the others' eyes. However, of course, he'd be happy about this

"Gambling for another soul quite entertaining however if you manage to pull this off I think in the case of him rejecting his freedom it would be much more entertaining for me, for you to keep his soul,"

The overlords eyes widened, Alastor would allow that?

"Hopefully you did not fail in your quest Husker,"

The demon disappeared but the former Overlord knew he had permission and with a new fire in his heart he marched out of the hotel in down to the studio

Marching inside he yelled out

"I wanna talk to this asshole Valentino!" Making several gasp but others looked instantly interested

"Your the kitty who plays barkeep," Velvette appeared with a snort,"Whatcha want with Val he's bein a cry baby, Angel fuckin shirked his work,"

"He didn't shirk it he tried ending it!" Husk growled, making the other workers again gasp even Velvette seemed a bit surprised before a nonchalant look replaced it, as the door slammed open revealing a pissed off Valentino

"You you're one of those Hotel people tell Angel to get his fluffy little ass back to work" he snarled getting up in the others face husk shoved the other back

"Angel is currently comatose because he tried ending his life, Valentino which is why I'm fucking here. I want his contract" More gasps came from everybody around them

The Moth Overlord raised an eyebrow slowly slinking around the other, before laughing

"Do you really think I would give up my best workers' contract?

"One Round of Poker All or Nothing, if I lose I work as your mole if you lose I get his contract and soul," he knew he had to play up the other's ego to get him to agree to lure him," think about it Valentino you would have someone actually competent to listen in"

Husk new Alastor would know, but he was counting on that if worst came to worst,

And like he planned his words made the other Overlord pause and think,

" interesting proposition, Fine one game. With Angel not being able to work I'm going to have to struggle to fill in the rest of the schedule anyway you can be assured he will be punished thoroughly for it," he snarled as a table was drug over

Holding a hand out both of their abilities flaring as they shook hands and the deal was set

It was a difficult match purely luck whoever God Favored right now would be shown, Valentino laid down his cards smirking it was a four of a kind, a nice decent hand but Husk started laughing as he laid down a royal flush taking down the other overlord, he had won he didn't believe he still had it after he had lost to Alastor but here he was standing victorious once more showing his luck was still on his side,

"Oh shit," he heard Velvette mutter, a smirk on her face, a hand covering her mouth

Valentino for once looked stunned and for a moment Husk saw himself perhaps the biggest loss in his life, but the moth was forced to produce the contract and hand it over, he shrugged however immediately trying to play it off

" oh well I'll find some new bitch to be my star, and not like anybody will want his leftovers,"

Husk felt rage at the other's words, but with Angie's contract in his hand, he just focused on that the sheer euphoria he had done it, he could feel the others soul and he could not believe how warm it was despite everything the other had been through, it was almost loving and caring, he raced back to the hotel and saw Alastor standing on the balcony leaned on it

"Good show Husker, Angel Dust is awake he awoke when he felt something shift in his very soul." The other purred, with that smug grin the former overlord hated

He only nodded and headed for the other's room, Charlie caught him halfway there

Husk allister said you were going to do something-"

He pulled out the contract and she gasped" I bet it all,"

He let out a small noise as the princess of Hell embraced him tightly, hearing her murmur

"Thank you Husk," nothing more needed to be said he understood what she was saying

"Of course Princess,"

Before she let go and watched as he headed for the bedroom carefully opening the door he saw angel on his side curled up

"Come to stare at the failure?" Came from him,"can't even kill myself properly, now Valentinos gonna-"

" he's going to do nothing Angie, Please look at me,"he interrupted not wanting to use the contract to force the other that would go against what he was trying to do

After a few moments the other slowly turned over his eyes were red and it broke husk see the other so hurt bandages wrapped around him bags under his eyes slowly the other approached and tenderly wiped the tears away,

" how can you promise me he can't do anything he has my soul-"

" Angel he doesn't have it anymore" fear entered the other Demon's eyes and husk sighed and pulled it out that made Angel sit up wincing but the absolute shock written on his face

"Husk... how did you?"

" I saw you on the floor angel and I couldn't take one more minute of seeing you hurt, I blame myself partially for what happened I knew you were suicidal because I've seen it before but I didn't say anything. So I challenged Valentino to a poker game where I would be the mole they were looking for if he won and if I won I got your soul in contract as you can see my luck is still with me,"

Tears entered Angel's eyes, and Husk knew the realization was hitting him that all the years of abuse were behind him because Angie knew Husk would never treat him the same,

" I will free you, but only if that's what you want truly-"

A finger was placed to his lips to silence him, Angel was shaking his head,

" I have been underneath a overlord for as long as I can remember I honestly don't know what I would do but I do know it would be self-destructive I don't know how to behave without well someone to help guide me. If you're willing to take on this loser, I wouldn't mind having you as my Overlord, especially in comparison to that piece of shit,"

Holding up the contract, Angel felt the collar appear, but it disintegrated. To his surprise, the contract also disintegrating however, Husk gently took one of his hands, a ring appearing glowing bright orange it lit up the room, and Angel gasped before it faded and disappeared

" Guess we're both losers under the same umbrella, huh?" The spider demon smirked

Husk smiled placing a kiss to the others hand making the other grin,

"And baby that's fine by me,"

[m3loria]

˖﹙ 🌠 ﹚ TOWER SIDE MEMORY.

WHERE yohan thinks his members are the most telling combination of strange.

˖ FEATURING. hong yohan, meliora ensemble. ˖ TIMESTAMP. NOV '19–SEP '22, scene combination. ˖ WARNINGS. swearing, insomnia, mentions of drinking, smoking, fighting, this is not in chronological order. ˖ WORD COUNT. 8.7k ˖ NOTES. happy friday random account viewers, hi jj no.1 yohan stan mega oomf ily btw 😊😊 so i basically sort of kind of plagiarized this because its the oc work of the century.. sorry, it was either this or angst and i can save that for another time!! im an angst lover to my core lowk 💗 i will make these men sad, anyway, warning bc this work is non-linear, i love writing things out of order its so fun 🫶 yohan's the best person for this because hes basically meliora's face and jj wants him so bad 🙂‍↕️ me too honestly (i created him), this work absolutely killed me to write since i debated on how sad i should make each section, not everything is that bad though!! im so sweet cant you see it in my smile 😁😁

   OCTOBER  6  2021.   LOUVIX AUDIO BUILDING

hwan is low maintenance, yohan doesn’t have to be a genius to know that one.

through observant glances and itching from none other than haneul, he figures that encapsulating silence defines his character. when meeting him firstly, he felt just the slightest bit seen. it’s unlike the groups flurry of extroverts who get uneasy when they don’t receive a text each hour, the two don’t even need to have each other’s numbers.

friendship has never been discreetly established, hwan never verbally establishes anything, he implies it through actions, through baked treats and intricately created charm bracelets.

yohan’s gotten a few cookies, he thinks he’s in the clear.

despite the label of ‘hiatus’, he never exactly rests, not when the members decide to leave anyway. resting would equate to doing nothing, and yohan loathes doing nothing, maybe he should write a song about that.

there’s no time for anything, he’s let off promotions yet there’s still so much to do. hospital visits, meeting attendances, so much catching up he genuinely doesn’t give a thought about when he finally passes out after midnight.

what’s the point of being out on a ‘hiatus’ if the company can’t even attempt to get rid of a few unhealthy tendencies? maybe they want to make way for another stage collapse, that wouldn’t be too daunting. sometimes, he feels like they think he’s a machine instead.

the scrawled lyrics appear as more of diary entries than anything, what the fuck is he writing about again? if this is going like it does in that one story, then a guardian angel will appear to him and finish the whole thing instead.

“aren’t you tired?”

or he guesses hwan.

it isn’t as if it’s the first time he’s ever heard a mutter from the younger, there consistently happens to exist silent mumbles in the background of regular arguments. he usually does give his piece, it simply isn’t loud enough to cut through the ear bleeding sounds of fighting.

well hwan sort of is a guardian angel, unwillingly, in a completely unaware manner, but he acts as a preserver nonetheless. he scrunches his nose at the inquiry, biting his wince back at the screech of the nearby chair. “it’s only been an hour”.

it isn’t an excuse, no, it’s a fact, though he supposes any other member would graciously take the aftermath of silence as an opportunity to attempt a scathing rebuttal, hwan remains silent, much too familiar with using the very own words as a response.

he rubs at his wrist, lethargy staring down lethargy, it’s ironic. it comes sporadically on occasion, but he sometimes feels like yohan’s spitting image, yet the degree of timidity stretches.

“that’s still a lot of sleep missing” he laughs, a quick glance at the scribbled lyrics, he pays no mind to them, it’s typically a team effort, which is pretty caustic considering the lack of definitive teamwork between whatever they write. for once, uneasiness seizes his features, concern, yohan thinks in another life, he’d probably be the group leader. “i mean— i guess i can’t talk about that but uh.. this is your break, for, you know, resting?”

“i’ve spent half the time resting”.

yohan doesn’t find pride in lying, it’s simply effective in moments like this, where someone once again stares him down to inquire about the unhealthy behavior he can’t keep under wraps any longer, it’s to quell worries, it’s a brick wall used to at least conceal something.

but of course, someone so similar can probably spot that one, it isn’t as if he underestimates the other’s intelligence, it’s simply the fact of the prospect being a regular coping mechanism.

“okay hyung”.

his undertone is soft enough that it doesn’t physically irk the older, but it almost appears just the slightest bit condescending, at least he has the pretty smile as a sugar coating device. “i can finish this..”

yohan’s right eye twitches, yet not out of irritation. “no, it’s okay”.

okay is about the worst word to use.

“my handwriting isn’t that bad”.

he snickers, he doesn’t exactly expect that one. “it’s too personal, you might go crazy”.

and the excuses are going to pile up until there are none left, until yohan has to surrender his dignity to admit the fact that he’s scared, that his medication does nothing and the claustrophobic studio has already swallowed him whole.

but until then, nobody cares about that.

he shrugs in reply. “the intimacy is an important factor”.

“i’m gonna scrap it”.

this is probably the longest conversation they’ve had, yes, despite the many lyrical collaborations. the act of stalling is easy, and the simplicity clears the anxiety he felt encapsulating him before the younger entered.

hwan blinks. “or you could let me help”.

help should be a word of contentment, but that uneasiness once again settles, longing for solace in the air of a room like this is a fool’s dream, and yohan thinks it’s been too extensive of a period since he’s properly closed his eyes without fearing what would happen after sleep. sleep itself appears to be a dream, he reaches, his fingers just barely grace its curvatures, and then it slips away once hope emerges in a gleam, taunting, fucking shameful.

in his current circumstance, help could be considered similarly, he yearns for such a thing, yet it’s just barely out of his reach.

his glasses are fogging.

yohan sucks his teeth, now he actually does want to scrap the whole song. “i mean.. i don’t know how we— you would do that”.

he isn’t exactly sure they’re a team in his eyes.

“what? you don’t trust me?”

it could be earnest, but it appears more playful, yohan’s sure hwan is picking such words carefully.

it’s actually the opposite, yohan doesn’t trust himself, which is a stupid thing for such a stubborn person to say aloud, so of course he doesn’t.

“not sure..”

for the first time, his responses dry up, there appears to be no more excuses left behind.

there’s a smile, hwan lords his victory over yohan with that smile. “go to sleep hyung, i can finish the song”.

and it’s the simplicity which moves him, has him standing out of his seat, hand instantly grabbing his sweater. hwan’s smile remains, it’s a rare right, and yohan guesses he has the right to be full of so much pride. “was that a first?”

well now he’s just being cocky.

“i guess” yohan shrugs, he doesn’t divulge the imminent fear of closing his eyes which will probably arise on the walk back, a horror not even the solace of his bed can fend off. “one song”.

hwan doesn’t seem to long for any more. “aye aye captain”.

his nose scrunches, but he guesses it’s pretty funny.

   AUGUST  18  2021.   HANAGAE BEACH

kiro’s about one of the strangest guys yohan knows, which is the true surprise when considering his debut in meliora as a whole.

they’re all a bit strange, some members allowing for the peculiarities to shine, others instead keeping them restricted until they have to display such oddities for the sake of content. he’s aware that might be a rude thought, but he still holds love for them, eccentric characteristics and all.

and it’s not that kiro causes him to question his sanity, he has a good chunk of the others to condemn for that one, he’s not one of them.

he’s sweet, through the spontaneous peculiarities, he doesn’t make yohan want to rip individual hairs out of his scalp, he simply makes yohan feel indescribably beatific, it’s something about his smile that earns a responding smile. kiro makes yohan happy even with silence, that’s why he’s strange.

and this, for some inconceivable reason he can’t conjure, makes yohan happy, all because of kiro. standing on a beach to watch the sunrise simply causes warmth to encapsulate his heart, it’s cute.

yohan’s always been an early riser, he’s aware kiro’s practically identical to him in that field. comeback seasons been out forever, yet opening eyes at five in the morning to again face the monstrosity of this world is completely mundane, it’s always been mundane, established as its own feat of normalcy since the early teenage years.

when he sees kiro downstairs, hair already brushed and tying his shoes, he blinks;

“what’s going on here?”

he startles, yohan occasionally forgets the members are always so jumpy, he isn’t that frightening, he’s sweet!

“god hyung don’t do that! i didn’t even hear you coming down the stairs!”

it’s adorable, how he remains the slightest bit neurotic, korean stuttered as he stares him face to face. when they first met, kiro could probably only dream of such a prospect, yohan can still make out a fraction of timidity remaining, but in comparison to last year, they’ve improved.

“sorry” his tongue prods at the side of his cheek. “it’s so early, where are you heading?”

and yohan realizes he does sound a lot like hajoon at this moment. well, he can’t win everything.

embarrassment overtakes his features, it manifests in a red tint which is quick to make home on his cheeks, the tips of his ears rapidly reacting in a quicker succession, and listen, yohan is aware it’s the middle of summer, but the place is also extremely air conditioned, unless there’s some secret furnace he’s unaware of.

“i uh— um..”

take your time, he wants to mutter, afraid of being unable to convey that through his stare alone. yohan’s a patient man, and though time is precious, he finds that the comfort of the people in his life outweigh that prospect. “i usually go to the beach to watch the sunrise..”

yohan blinks, he’s unsure of how the answer appeared to slip by so rapidly, or maybe he should scrutinize himself for not allowing the endless possibilities which exist to spring to mind.

“the nearest beach is almost two hours away?”

“well i uh— i mean, i don’t mind just catching a taxi, even if they’re kinda expensive”.

he hums, observing for a moment before clicking his tongue. “do you mind if i join you?”

his reply is exhibited through the acute physical reaction which corresponds with the titular widening of his eyes, as if it’s a travesty having the company of another human being by his side.

that might not be the case, it may just be the idea of spending time with yohan which startles him, or perhaps it’s the question, the tone and weight of each singular word that makes regular inquiries appear so.. irregular.

“do you not want me to?”

“no, no you can come with i was just.. kinda surprised”.

so they do exactly that; continuously muttering on the way, even with the taxi ride stretching to just before the two hour mark, they happen to enjoy themselves much more than they assume.

“so is this a tradition of yours?” he inquires, eyes threatening to flutter closed from the sheer power of the sun, the rays stabbing at his eyes. his right eye twitches, but he doesn’t fret.

“yeah mostly, when i first came to korea this was one of my first visiting spots”.

a smile tugs at yohan’s lips. “that’s cute” he states, basking in the light breeze of the early morning, the rushing of the ocean filling his ears. “do you always come alone?”

kiro appears to attempt a shot at hiding, averting his gaze instantly. “no one wants to wake up early to watch the sunrise” he whispers.

there’s a singular tick before yohan speaks once more; “if you ever want to, you know i’m always up early”.

“aww, are you offering?” his undertone indicates pleasantry with a hint of genuine surprises, but yohan decides to not dwell.

“i mean— the beach is nice, would be good to get some fresh air..”

kiro laughs. “you need to make time for yourself, hyung, this is technically your break after all”.

“i am doing that” yohan is unsure of exactly why he decides to pose such an argument, tone too gentle to convey any truth. “i can just do that while also spending time with you”.

and he includes the nudge of his shoulder to sell his point, repeatedly blinking at the shine of the sun. “come on, let’s go eat breakfast”.

yohan usually doesn’t eat breakfast, but he supposes today is a special occasion.

“oh hyung, are you spoiling me?”

he can’t help his responding smile. “don’t get used to it”.

   NOVEMBER  29  2019.   HOTPOT RESTAURANT 

apparently it’s a good day for hajoon, and whilst yohan can only assume, it appears the answer for his elevated brightness is clear.

yohan remains the slightest bit weary, not because he’s rude, it’s quite the opposite, he exudes a level of consideration yohan doesn’t expect from a guy he’s technically competing with for a spot in a fresh new group.

their skill sets are much the opposite, but competition is competition, he’s aware he’s gonna debut either way, maybe that explains his natural talent for simple generosity.

and it’s not that yohan doesn’t like him, it’s simply everything else that makes him strange.

which is exactly why yohan agrees to a hotpot “date” as he calls it. he entered the cushioned trainee dorms at eight pm, completely vitalized despite the tenor extending exhaustion. he specifically sought out yohan for a reason which remains iffy, nothing of a sure reply given for the question.

but he guesses that should be the least of his concerns when food is free.

he tunes out for a moment, only snapped out of his daze once the younger begins a fit of complaints. “you’re always looking in front of you, what are you thinking about?”

he knocks as if the older’s head will emit a sound, amused by his responding irritation. yohan’s face scrunches, his fist winding up just for nothing to happen. “nothing..”

“it’s not nothing” yohan is rattled by his chewing, his nose scrunch selling that idea. the younger decides to ignore him, hands clasping together in a silent sound. “come on, i won’t bite, what’s bothering you?”

“nothing’s bothering me i just couldn’t focus”.

hajoon takes in a deep breath, somehow not having his tongue burnt from the sheer amount of food he’s scarfed down, it’s still steaming, yet he doesn’t falter in the slightest. “is it debuting?”

yohan falters, hajoon smiles, god he’s way too good at that. “what’s with the doubt? you’re clearly going to debut”.

at that statement, he earns an eyebrow raise. “clearly?”

“you’re everything the lineup needs, you’re pretty, you can sing, you can dance, you don’t talk too much, companies like that in trainees” he muses, fingers coming to brush his hair out of his face. “you’re just like hwanie”.

yohan finds the words baffling, but he doesn’t display that, simply furrows his eyebrows. “and what? you aren’t anxious about debuting?”

“it isn’t exactly my whole life, this group”.

yohan is jealous. he longs for such laxity, hajoon talks about it like it’s nothing, but yohan’s putting his whole life into this. how is he supposed to face his mom if he doesn’t get into the group? areum? hyeri? yisoo? he’s supposed to pass, he’s the sibling consistently fueled with determination, what would failing even be like? how could anybody be relaxed about such a thing?

or maybe yohan’s simply chiefed by his anxiety, perhaps that’s the reason.

“oh”.

sensing the sudden change of atmosphere, hajoon begins whistling, playing with his chopsticks. “after this, we should go shopping or something”.

yohan’s eyes narrow. “if we do that we’ll get back late”.

he pretends to contemplate, clearly aware of what he’ll say next. “you need to relax”.

yohan clicks his tongue. “didn’t realize you cared”.

the younger snickers, slapping his arm. “of course i do! we’re friends now aren’t we?”

friends, well that’s a strange word. yohan doesn’t realize they had a label for this, hajoon just appeared one day in the practice room and yohan never questioned it, he never questioned their relationship.

yohan realizes that he probably won’t get another opportunity like this with the next year hot on his tail, once the idol life sets in, there’s no longer free time.

he sighs. “fine”.

“great! it’s a date!”

that’s probably gonna be his thing, yohan realizes he doesn’t mind much.

   SEPTEMBER  3  2022.   STYLE ROOM

yohan finds the members’ muttering easy to fall asleep too, the stylists hands in his hair cushioning his falling head.

the heat emanating from the hair straightener is surprisingly comforting, and despite the shouting, he manages a good thirty minutes of slumber before a tap on his forehead disturbs him.

he’s awaken by yet another tap on his forehead followed by the shuffling of footsteps, when he finally does open his eyes, he belatedly misses the absence of the hairstylist’s presence, instead alerted by two muddled voices.

haneul and yaejoon are arguing over.. something, yohan doesn’t mind whatever they’re whispering about. however, he notices the appearance of taro, who awkwardly stands by, seemingly caught in the crossfire, the image causing a chuckle to push itself up his throat.

the two others continue their “intense” argument, taro turns his way with pleading eyes, silently requesting for the older to get him out of his current predicament.

“what did i do?” he whispers, arms flailing slightly as yaejoon lightly tugs his shoulder.

yohan decides to pout for him. he clears his throat, catching the attention of his two arguing members. “you guys wanna know something interesting?” he begins, “last week’s hotel had the best desserts so far”.

and just like that, they begin yet another debate, a calm one somehow, taro watches on in pure amazement. “how do you just do that?”

yohan shrugs. “i don’t know”.

and honestly? he doesn’t.

the two arguing don’t pay attention, but at least the pressure is off his shoulders. he takes a seat in the vacant chair beside the leader, yohan gazes on, observing the anxiety permeating from him immediately, the maknae flinching at nothing in the air. “you okay?”

he doesn’t answer verbally, simply nodding. yohan hums, unbelieving of it all. “come on, you can tell me what’s wrong”.

he still remains silent, yohan doesn’t mind that really, he’s simply aware of how terrible it is to bottle up things like this. “aren’t you excited to go home?”

at the mention of home, taro flinches, flinches in the manner of a cat flicked with water, accidentally dropped into a bathtub in a ruthless prank by their owner.

he’s skittish like that, yohan has observed, he’s got cute eyes and constantly fiddles with his bracelets when longing for something to do, once the anxiety settles in, he plays around with the knots of fabric pressing to his skin.

gosh, yohan adores taro.

“i’m not sure, yoiki is excited but knowing my parents they probably won’t come”.

yohan frowns for his sake, but the news appears normal for him, his undertone doing nothing of a change. he blanks at the information, not exactly unaware of such a thing, simply disheartened for the maknae.

“are they working?”

“it doesn’t matter if they are or not”.

yohan doesn’t meet the members’ parents often, it just so happens to not be that much of a need for him, the members all have their own issues relating to some parental figure, and if that isn’t the case, then it’s probably much worse, stuff he’d rather not get into with the rest of them because dealing with trauma like that does questionable things to people.

his mother appears to be nice enough, she’s simply a massive workaholic.

his mouth dries. “hey, don’t think about that, on a positive note, your sisters are coming, and..”

“and?”

“you have us” he motions his head in the direction of the two softly quarreling. “i’ve always wanted to try soba”.

now that earns a small smile, the pretty stretch resulting in warmth encapsulating yohan’s heart. taro glances downward at his nails, picking at the skin.

once yohan gently separates his nails from the skin, he earns a smile; “i know a few good places” he mumbles, shyly looking away.

yohan smiles. “great, we can go together”.

he blushes, flush with endearment and a hint of budding enthusiasm. “yeah i’d like that..”

he’s unsuccessfully attempting to hide a smile, and yohan has to stifle a flurry of coos.

he simply thinks taro may just be the cutest person ever.

   DECEMBER  23  2021.   MELIORA DORMS

yohan comes to a not-so startling conclusion, haneul drunk is nothing different from haneul sober.

he supposes affection is guaranteed with a guy of that manner, when yohan first met him, there happened to be a distinct fashion of the air. he appears to be fond of everyone, everything, elated by such mundane prospects of life as if it’s his first waking moment on earth.

it’s.. well, kind of cute, in a completely abnormal sense to yohan’s considerably sane mind. he’s never seen the guy without a smile, every waking moment the feat of ecstasy simply heightens, and it appears that extends to tossing back shot after shot.

his face is painted a baby pink, the only contrast being the bright red of his cheeks. it has no affect on his attitude, he’s woozy, one of the few unusual results of drinking to your heart’s content.

“one more!” and when he raises the shot glass, it disappears as swiftly as yohan swipes it out of his hands. he releases a very intelligible ‘hmph’ and gives his best attempt at getting it back, just barely able to control his own limbs. “hyung!” yohan grimaces at the immediate spike of volume. “you can’t withhold shots from me, it’s my birth month”.

what an excuse, the younger about falls off his chair, yohan having to act as damage control in a room full of his other wasted members.

but he unfortunately does not let up, instead wrapping his arms around the leader in an effort to keep him in his place, or maybe the alcohol setting in is just opening the door for a mountain of affection he did not ask for. he snuggles into his side, and yohan has to keep a sigh between his teeth.

“are you alright?”

“i’m tired” haneul mumbles, eyes fluttered shut as he totally, possibly unconsciously, squeezes around his waist, yohan clenching his teeth as his own silent reply.

yohan snorts. “what about the shots?”

he allows for the crack of an eye, then his glance wanders over to the dormant shot glass, lips taking a downward turn into a saddening frown. if yohan didn’t know any better, he’d presume that haneul was definitively disheartened by being unable to enjoy one last “drink”. it’s hilarious, in another universe, he’d be rewarded acting accolades.

“you were the one who stole them from me? you’re such a phony you know what right!?”

lord is he still whining? yohan pats his head in a questionable manner, as if haneul is his son or something, attempting to console him in his drunken stupor. “shh! you’re too loud..”

haneul yawns, pinch purposeful. yohan slaps the small of his back, earning the best glare haneul can give with such droopy eyes, a glower which results in probably one of his fairest laughs in a while.

“how about” he begins, unable to slip from the compression paired with his physical feat of endearment. “you go to sleep”.

“i want water” he immediately demands, yohan again allows a smack on his back, perturbed by the change of his tone in the fashion of an unaltered adult.

“okay fine, water”.

unfortunately, yohan underestimates how much he would sort of do for him, it’s just so the younger can stop hugging him so tight, he echoes in his mind.

but he’s probably lying to himself in that regard, the contracting embrace encapsulates solace he supposes he never knew existed for someone like him.

he could probably get used to it.

   OCTOBER  25  2021.   IOYS STUDIOS

“have you ever actually considered painting much more seriously?”

the significantly strange wavelength of what they can call their “relationship” is probably what sprouted such a question. rae often inquires, he’s curious about it all, maybe he was meant for the stars, when his pupils dilate in his typically questioning manner, yohan can’t help but observe how they resemble constellations he so dearly cherishes.

he used to be scared of yohan, in complete tandem with several of the members, yet his fear was deemed different by yohan’s subconscious. it took one physical clash in the practice room for him to run away and hide, it provided him with excellent laughing fodder for a mere moment, but afterward it was simply strange.

the reason they’re painting is technically all due to yohan in the first place, he muttered to him that it was an “early birthday gift”, except such a gift was hidden from the members because they’d easily chastise him for not resting during his break, hwan already did a good number on him.

“it’s just a hobby” he mumbles, tongue prodding at the side of his cheek as his glasses make a daring attempt to fall off his face, steadily sliding down his nose. “nothing serious..”

yohan realizes he must say that about many things, because byeol’s responding look is reminiscent of many he’s gotten throughout the years when musing about his unserious hobbies.

“you said that about singing too and..”

that earns a snicker, it’s true, but they can’t exactly be compared. yongrae takes yet another glimpse, as if trying to take a look into yohan’s mind. his attempts appear to be futile, and he turns his head back to his half done painting.

“well that was before i knew i would debut”.

“didn’t you always know?”

he likes to ask questions, and yohan enjoys answering questions, enjoys relaying more information to his members in a manner which heightens their intrigue. he’s unsure of why they’re always so curious about his life, he isn’t that interesting in hindsight.

“i mean.. you never know, remember when we thought iseul-ah was in the lineup? we got fooled”.

technically they didn’t, iseul was a fuse, somewhat of a breaking point for the company, yohan doesn’t try to talk to him now that they’ve debuted, he’s sure the other holds back some contempt, but not enough to block hajoon’s number, he’s sure they still talk.

they were a.. close pair he remembers.

he shrugs in reply. “i guess you always just seem to know, sometimes i think you’re a psychic, hyung”.

the way he describes things always irks yohan, but not in the usual sense. he’s invested in the manner of his verbal illustrations, he longs to hear more. “that’s funny”.

his wrist has begun to cramp, he finally sets down the paintbrushes and adjusts his glasses. there’s some scrawled across his shirt, shades of blue he doesn’t recall ever actually choosing, yet they permeate the canvas before him anyway.

“it’s pretty”.

“it’s not done” yohan isn’t a perfectionist, he simply wants for it to be done, the chemicals sneaking up his nose. “i don’t want us to stay out too late”.

“oh, do we have a curfew?” the younger inquires, raising an eyebrow and beginning to giggle at his own joke.

“well you need sleep”.

he snorts, opting to frown at the mere mention of sleep. “how can you say that with little sleep under your belt hyung?”

yohan gets chastised for it often, he finds such a prospect hilarious, consistently getting criticized by his own dongsaengs for his terrible sleeping habits— or, he supposes insomniac habits, he doesn’t sleep much, he supposes that’s why they always point it out.

“i’m just looking out for you”.

yohan wants to vomit, he’s unsure of why it’s taken him so long to verbally utter those words to any of his members, but he really does just want that. yes his members are strange, out there, loud, occasionally they irritate him beyond words, but he does care, he tries his best to verbalize that with actions the best he can.

“how about we just stay a bit longer, it’s not that late” he excuses, he’s correct, it’s only eight o’clock, crossing late territory won’t be evident until it’s at least nine. “you aren’t even done yet”.

yohan’s gaze softens, he guesses it won’t be that much of a problem. “sure”.

his birthday is coming up anyway, yohan will do everything he can for him.

   JUNE  16  2020.   MELIORA DORMS

“and why exactly are you doing this for me again?”

yohan doesn’t mean to exude such a tone, especially with someone older than him, but he supposes he’s much too used to it. chaiya doesn’t mind much, besides the occasional jab at the maknaes whenever they disrespect him as the eldest member, the act of formality is the furthest from his mind.

“you have an addiction” he merely states, and yohan scoffs.

“it’s a healthy addiction” as if that makes any sense, he probably sounds like a raging hypocrite, but that would be nothing new. “better than all the sugar you put into that shit”.

“don’t you swear at me” he points an accusatory finger, yohan’s eyebrow merely raises. “i’m older you know, just because you’re the leader doesn’t mean you have all the power”.

yohan narrows his eyes, longing to say a specific something. the eldest seems to understand despite the silence, because he smiles; “you better stay there, not letting you run away from trying something new”.

that appears to be a consistent theming with all of the members. since when did they all just think that? why do they consistently tell yohan the same thing? well.. the ones who’ll talk to him anyway.

they only debuted a month ago, half of them won’t speak to him and most of them seem terrified at his mere gaze, but they all look to understand the same thing.

yohan’s a control freak.

how funny, he just barely recognizes the inner workings of all their minds, but it’s like they all look at him and think the same thing.

yohan enjoys having things remain the same. what’s the point of trying a new thing that he may dislike when the current wavelength of his life is somewhat comforting to him already? he simply stares, blinking at the concoction the eldest is pouring sugar into. his nose crinkles.

“see? you always do that”.

“i like my coffee black” he voices clearly, but he’s not going to listen, why would he? he’s already doing all of this, at least he knows a good chunk of the members are as stubborn as he is.

“i know that” his tone appears gentle, as if yohan’s some sort of baby. he presumes chaiya would be a good teacher in another life, the thought almost earns a smile. “i just need opinions”.

from me of all people?

and yohan doesn’t think he’s.. mean per say, he just thinks that his opinion could possibly anger one. he’ll leave all the blatant insolence to junmin, there’s so much which could spill out, but he decides to actually have self control in contrast to the other.

chaiya again smiles. “i don’t mind if you don’t like it, that’s the point of opinions isn’t it?”

is this how people make friends now? yohan almost laughs, this is probably the best case scenario of such a thing. “besides, there are twelve other people living here, i need to draw actual conclusions”.

he’s simply so cheerful, and yohan finally does smile, a small one, but a smile nonetheless. “fine”.

“see? i knew you’d come around”.

yohan snorts. “don’t be so full of yourself”.

the words hold no truth, bear no genuine weight on the confidence of the eldest, yohan finds it pretty admirable.

he can just deal with it for now.

   AUGUST  10  2022.   OAKLAND  CA

yohan gets about twenty minutes of peace before his door is kicked down.

his eye cracks open, and he heavily sighs at the sight of a familiar headache. kang yaejoon just so happens to be full of energy, a consistent noise yohan begged to not bother him.

“oh fuck this”.

“don’t swear hyung”.

and suddenly, the younger flops on top of him, possibly breaking all of his bones in a singular movement. yohan grunts, but the other doesn’t let up, instead makes himself comfortable crushing him. “is this a guarantee?” he’s somehow able to let the words escape him, glancing up at the younger who appears contended by it all.

“this is how i show my love for you!”

“by trying to kill me?”

yohan is so fucking tired, maybe he shouldn’t have fought to be placed into a group with twelve other guys, his head falls forward and he takes a deep breath into his pillow. he hears the younger snicker, completely overjoyed at the prospect of the older’s misery. “hey, sometimes it works”.

“yeah sometimes”.

“don’t be so mad, hyung, i always knew i was one of your favorites”.

yohan doesn’t even attempt to refute such a claim, he instead decides to make himself comfortable with the situation in the best manner possible, head remaining rested on his pillow. yaejoon mumbles something that he doesn’t try to decode, eyes begging to flutter closed.

he’s disturbed by a whisper; “hyung”.

“yes?” he yawns, eyes now closed.

“am i really your favorite?”

he cracks one eye open, hoping to convey his feat of chagrin with just a singular movement of one eye. “is that what you’re most concerned about?”

“yes”.

“let me sleep”.

“it’s only nine pm!”

yohan typically doesn’t sleep early, but the tour has practically wiped him out, sleeping early is the only thing he can do in order to ensure he doesn’t pass out on stage.

he grabs onto the younger, instead pulling him into an embrace, one leg thrown over the other. “shh, quiet now, i need my beauty sleep”.

yaejoon stares, yohan can feel it despite the fact that his own are closed. “wow, you wanna lay with me? always knew you had a crush on me”.

“shut up”.

“alright hyung”.

he may talk his ear off the whole entire night, but yohan decides that such a prospect might just be the slightest bit comforting, even if irritating.

   AUGUST  6  2022.   LOS ANGELES  CA

the longer yohan spends time with him, he realizes there are many similarities between him and kristian.

it goes past the amount of siblings they have, their equal adoration of cats, unhealthily taking in much caffeine, being much introverted, often on the side when the groups arguing.

he really didn’t recognize how much the younger is basically him in a skewed font, glares and all.

los angeles is the first stop on every american tour, yohan didn’t mean to study it, he’s just always around once the staff begin muttering about future plans, barely alerted by his presence due to his silence. that’s where kristian was born, he doesn’t often talk about it, not even to jaehwan, who he practically talks about everything to.

yohan’s only aware of one thing, a thing he’s aware of once it comes to most of the members; he’s got a complicated relationship with his parents.

not the first time with a member in this group, he makes occasional passing comments about how they’re probably crazy, doesn’t go much further than that.

he’s clearly been weary of coming home, in a fashion that’s typically uncharacteristic of him, his usually tranquil manner disturbed for possibly the first time since yohan’s met him.

and now he’s grabbing his jacket, heading out.. somewhere.

“where are you going?”

he produces the closest thing to a ‘hmph’, scoffing at the prospect of nothing. “my parents called for a reunion dinner because they heard i’m here”.

yohan blinks, studying the younger for a while. he doesn’t care what the members do after hours, he’s simply concerned about what reunion dinner entails. “and you’re really going?”

the younger shrugs, even with disquietude coloring his features, he wants to appear completely unscathed by such news. yohan again narrows his eyebrows, it’s easy to spot such a facade when you’ve had one up so many times yourself. “my siblings will be there anyway”.

“but your parents..”

he doesn’t finish.

kristian simply stares, attempting to look unbothered despite the clear lack of satisfaction emanating from him in all. yohan yearns to give him a hug, for some unusual reason, he wants to tell him everything is going to be okay, which makes no sense because the younger seems to despise hugs if they aren’t from his favorite person.

he pushes down such thoughts. “doesn’t matter, i’ve dealt with them before”.

you shouldn’t have to.

yohan really does care, he feels like hajoon, constantly babying the members even if they can reasonably afford to take care of themselves. with the way the younger stares, he can practically tell what yohan is thinking.

“don’t you think you should stay?”

yohan is really trying.

he tilts his head. “do you want my company or something?”

“no.. i’m just worried about what might happen”.

“well if i don’t come back then you’ll know they killed me”.

yohan deadpans, but the slightest snicker leaves him. that was pretty funny.

“if you need me to come pick you up i will”.

“you’re too sweet”.

it isn’t said like an insult, not in the manner it usually is, that makes yohan the slightest bit glad. “don’t get sappy”.

“i was saving it just for you”.

yohan scoffs, but there is nothing genuine behind it.

   APRIL  30  2022.   DOWNTOWN SEOUL

yohan never thought he was anybody’s favorite member, mainly because he’s always perceived himself as pretty unapproachable,

but it appears jaehwan enjoys differing with him even when he doesn’t specifically utter it.

and how he drew an impatient blabbermouth to his side will always perturb yohan, he seems to attract a completely contrasting crowd, which includes over half of the meliora members. jaehwan woke up early for possibly the first time ever (despite his day typically ending at nine pm, he’s always out untimely) and dragged a groggy yohan out of the house. the taste of toothpaste still fresh on his tongue, he barely had time to adjust.

“what’s the point of this exactly?” the younger appears elated by the sight of displayed baked treats. he’s always so happy, joy caused by even the slightest of things.

jaehwan continues bouncing up and down as he seemingly contemplates on what to get. “i just wanted to go out, you know you’re my favorite right?”

yohan is unsure if his heart should swell at such a fact. “oh? i thought it was kyuhyunie”.

it technically is, no matter how much it changes, jaehwan will always have a specifically special place in his heart for ahn kyuhyun mostly. yohan doesn’t mind, it’s not much of a pressing matter.

jaehwan frowns, feigned offense in the stretch of that downward turn. “things can change”.

well they usually don’t.

“do you want macarons?”

at the question, jaehwan plays at thought, though his choice appears completely avowed, yohan still squints his eyes anyway. well, he could probably pass that over with the reason that he left his glasses at home, what would jaehwan know?

the younger smiles, bright, all teeth present in the frankly pretty grin. “absolutely, do you not want macarons?”

he shrugs. “i don’t know..”

they do end up getting macarons, several flavors available yet all of them tasting the same to yohan. maybe he doesn’t allow for too much focus, perhaps he should’ve allowed the specific tastes to linger on his tongue, then he would’ve enjoyed them much more than it appeared.

jaehwan drags yohan by hand around downtown seoul for the filler of the day they have time, comeback preparations begin soon and it seems he just wanted to spend time with his “favorite person” (his words, not yohan’s, though the consistent smiles he earns are invigorating enough that he has no rebuttal), something of a mystery to yohan.

“how do you plan to afford this?”

“you mean how do we?”

yohan’s eyes narrow, his vision somewhat blurry as he eyes the miniature figures jaehwan appears so entranced by. they pose nothing of a interest to him, not in the manner they clearly do to jaehwan, but he keeps his mouth shut.

“i don’t want any of this”.

okay, not shut for long enough.

jaehwan pouts, is he really sad? that’s ironic.

“can’t you do me this favor?”

his eyebrows pinch together, is he serious? yohan about laughs at such a thing. “i got you macarons”.

“macarons cost nothing!”

“so why didn’t you get them yourself!?”

he opts to not answer that question, instead taking ahold of yohan’s arm and lurching him forward, out of the titular store.

his feet may have begun to swell, he’s unsure.

he doesn’t exactly long for home, a certain someone just so happens to be weighing in on his conscience, he surmises that going out is better than facing a member who causes his eye to twitch erratically, even if leftover mushy feelings remain constant.

“this sugar intake is unhealthy” yohan ironically bites into an abnormally large chocolate bar as he inquires on such a thing.

“you need it after all, you don’t eat any sugar!”

“i do, healthily”.

jaehwan snorts. “healthy is a fake word, nothing’s healthy at the moment”.

“how deep”.

“i’m being serious” he earns a mere shoulder nudge as his response. he narrows his eyes, vision obscured with the lack of his glasses present. “don’t fight, okay? i don’t want you two to be mad at each other..”

and maybe, for a specific purpose, he’s allowing for the words to escape from the sheer kindness of his heart.

“i’ll try”.

by try, he means he might just have to bottle it all up again, maybe avoid him consistently in the fashion he has since after chuseok, but it technically would be trying.

“no more avoiding him either”.

damnit.

well, yohan can’t do anything else now.

   SEPTEMBER  9  2022.   SCOTIABANK ARENA

they’re about two hours into rehearsal, the complaining begins as soon as the threshold is crossed.

haneul exceedingly whines about the heat, then suddenly jaehwan is endlessly complaining, chaiya is attempting to stare into the sun and yaejoon wants water.

yohan is aware in these kinds of situations he’s supposed to sport a whole responsible leader attitude about the whole thing, but he can’t find the air to care, a hand combing through his hair and lethargy sinking him to the ground.

“let’s take a break now!”

well yohan’s glad he didn’t have to utter it.

he grabs a spot in one of the corners, eyes closed as he allows for his head to comfortably snuggle against the nearby stage equipment. it’s possibly dangerous, though that happens to exist on a further plane of his mind.

he gets distracted when he feels the irking sensation of a presence beside him, a presence which has his eyes narrowing despite them being fluttered shut.

now yohan is unsure of much regarding canada and its specific climate, he doesn’t have enough time to delve into that one, however, the heat typically dissipates around early september, that is not the current wavelength of the weather.

when he cracks open one eye, he’s met with kyuhyun attempting to keep himself awake despite his head begging to be let down so he can doze off. yohan’s perceived his unusual bout of weariness these days, not that every member is not extremely tired over the soul sucking mindscape of a tour, but energy 24/7 kyuhyun suddenly becoming not so talkative should begin ringing alarm bells.

“you need to sleep”.

and yohan supposes he’ll just always be a raging hypocrite, sleep just so happens to be his worst enemy in the world.

kyuhyun turns his way, a seething exhaustion gleaming in his pupils. yohan blinks, he so yearns to give him a hug, he just.. he just looks like he needs one, looks soft, probably feels soft too.

“ouch, do i look that bad?”

yohan chuckles, poking his cheek as his lips take a downturn. “you look like you could use better time”.

kyuhyun scoots closer and makes his head comfortable on his shoulder. yohan longs to question the wavelength of his actions, but he opts for silence as a response. typically, kyuhyun could not resist blabbering, extroverted tendencies carried throughout no matter what.

today appears to display a couple of differences.

“maybe you should stack up on the caffeine” yohan sports, amusement elevating his words.

kyuhyun offers a snort, though deflated. “ki would kill me, you know, i used to be crazy for iced coffee, she’s practically keeping me alive”.

“an energy drink once in a while isn’t terrible”.

“you can’t talk hyung” he rebuts, not scathing, tone much too gentle for the perceived insult seemingly delivered. “your blood may as well be replaced with caffeine”.

“it has some good effects”.

“sounds like something an addict says” kyuhyun unconvincingly laced their hands together, a figurative embrace that surges warmth despite the hoisted heat in the surrounding air. “kiarra would faint”.

yohan furrows his eyebrows, somewhat offended by the certain insult. “well if you attempt it in a healthy manner, it won’t be as bad”.

kyuhyun sighs heavily, supposedly on the brink of dozing off, yohan guesses no energy drinks shall be bestowed upon him, he may as well just fall asleep before they can finish rehearsals.

yohan pokes him again. “go sleep, you’ll be able to catch up tomorrow”.

kyuhyun scoffs, clearly attempting to rebut that claim, unfortunately, yohan’s much more stubborn than he is.

“go”.

“okay!”

kyuhyun’s nose scrunches, but it’s clear he needed that either way.

   SEPTEMBER  21  2021.   GWANGJU  SK

junmin somehow agrees to celebrate chuseok with yohan’s family and he basically has a mini heart attack at the fact.

he suggested such a thing for a blatant reason, he really really knew the extent of junmin’s parents behavior. yejin is constantly at the forefront of his mind, she’s just a kid, barely recognizes the reality of her situation and much too young to even attempt a shot at independence.

he isn’t exactly sure of why he so wanted to, he wasn’t aware the other members had plans. haneul definitely would’ve invited him, hajoon as well, shit, maybe even rae if he wasn’t holding fear back from clashes in the practice room. he took that as a challenge, it wasn’t one, who was he even competing with? himself? his sane mind that tells him to not continuously do this to himself?

when he inquired about it to junmin, the younger just stared. they had been.. well, what they were was complicated at the time. there was no semblance of bad blood, not any that yohan is aware of, he so wishes he could read junmin’s mind, he embroils things in confusion, yet yohan yearns for his presence no matter what.

“you could bring yejin too” he recalled saying, striving to appear mundane enough. “i know you want to”.

well yohan doesn’t know enough about what exactly junmin wants.

god he hates him.

actually, he doesn’t.

he presented a good enough smile. “sure”.

sure, yohan held solace in that one singular word for the week coming up to going home. he never forgets anything, but the mere idea of having to disclose such information to areum and hyeri kills him for the duration, his own head pounds at that.

oh, you’re bringing your boyfriend back home?

not my boyfriend.

she taunts him about it even with the most silent of mutters.

thankfully, possibly because the world decided to hand yohan a single favor for once in his untouched fucking life, his siblings are much too caught up with pampering the house’s newest baby to observe yohan’s impending impatience.

junmin easily slides into the cracks with such perfection yohan wants to die. he’s good at listening and he has a nice smile, yohan’s parents adore him at first glance, yisoo allows for his thumb to continuously point backward; you’ve hit the jackpot!

yohan hasn’t hit the jackpot, he would never call himself a coward, he isn’t, he really isn’t, on most occasions he would simply face a trouble like this head on instead of displaying a terribly manufactured facade.

“don’t get your feelings hurt, han”.

hyeri always says this without any additional context, but yohan isn’t in need for a situation like this. his nose crinkles, and she crushes a dormant cigarette under the heel of her boot. he presumed she quit, he guesses she lied about that fact to mom.

“i won’t”.

who is he kidding?

she does that invasive stare thing, her eyes narrow in complete judgement, she could never be ambiguous, nothing of dubiousness when it’s all scrawled over her features 24/7. yohan constantly feels surveilled under her gaze, when she finally calms the eyebrow raise, she sucks her teeth, teeth drawing blood from where they sink into her bottom lip. “i’m sure your members would believe that one”.

he opts to leave that one unanswered.

junmin doesn’t bring anything up, and yohan’s grateful he remains silent because dad and mom would probably freak if they found out what he was doing behind the scenes. he loves them, but they retain too much of that worry they constantly weighed down on him during his childhood.

“you’re making fun of me”.

“i’m not”.

“you are” yohan clears his throat, chin tilted up in a stubborn display of.. something. “i didn’t decorate my childhood bedroom, you know”.

junmin frowns, cracking his knuckles in his typical i just need something to do fashion. “the color scheme is simply funny, and you used to be so cute!”

yohan guesses he likes it sometimes, enjoys the fact that junmin has that somewhat exuberant switch whenever he’s with him alone. it’s such a selfish thought, yohan surmises he’s probably a pretty selfish person when it comes to the current circumstances.

he doesn’t mean to be, he simply can’t help it.

“could you not? those photos are essential for keeping memories alive!”

and then they bicker, it’s always the same between them, yohan finds comfort in that.

it all went fine, yejin is an absolute angel, areum wants to keep her around forever, she formed a strong ass attachment in just seven hours, yohan’s sure she’ll sign adoption papers straight away.

“he should come around next year too” his mother whispers once most are out of view. yohan pauses, blinking, throat drying up in an aberrant manner, he winces, accidentally turning the water much too high, he might’ve just burned his own hand unconsciously washing the dishes. “i like them both, they’re the sweetest”.

yohan might as well just die.

“i mean—” he swears at himself, how do you disagree with your own mother? “i can see if he wants to again..”

then it’s over, areum has to begrudgingly let yejin go and hyeri continues giving him that look. yohan isn’t leaving just yet, technically, he has a sure fire break until the company decides to shove him back on stage, mental wellbeing better or not.

“think they just found their new favorite” areum made yejin a gift, hair tied into twin braids and decorated with bows. she’s adorable, yohan is aware of how the easy devotion formed.

“she’s gonna want an invite next year”.

yohan frowns, playful, nothing real. “you don’t sound glad”.

junmin shakes his head. “no no your siblings are nice”. he looks down at the floor, hands clasped with his sisters. “i guess i wouldn’t mind”.

yohan wants to jump at the fact, that’s pretty pathetic of me.

“could you call me when you get off the train?”

and listen, yohan’s always been a little self destructive, he’s going to get hurt in the future, maybe he’ll cry, bite off his nails in anxiety, hate himself,

but it feels so good now, he’s afraid he can’t help it.

“of course, that’s no problem”.

[jqmalikhsgib]

bloom

four

eddie hates waking up at the ass crack of dawn! though over the last few years he’s use to it, doesn’t mean he likes it. he knew the price of being a rockstar though.

eddie’s willing to sacrifice his sleep schedule to make it big time. he also just misses his family. the band had left for new york three nights ago. he missed the sound of laughter from his babies, the smell of yn perfume, even missed his soon to be father in law banging on their door at god knows what hour.

he couldn’t wait to see them in just a few more days. eddie made sure to call yn as soon as he could. he knew she’d be busy tending to the kids. he still made it his mission to talk to them every single day!

last night he almost cried himself to sleep. lunaria has always been a daddy’s girl. she didn’t want to let her daddy get off the phone. she cried and cried until eddie sung her to sleep. he almost left right then and there to go cuddle his baby! yn had to talk him out of it.

eddie grabs his cell and immediately dialed yn number.

“hello?”

“you still asleep love?”

“no.” she states quickly.

eddie frowns. he could tell something was wrong.

“baby, is everything okay?”

“mhm.”

eddie didn’t believe her.

“miss hopper?”

eddie listens closely and hears a little bit of noise in the background.

“mama?” lily whines.

“shh, im here baby. its okay.”

“yn, what is going on?!”

yn sighs. “lily’s running a fever. had to take her to the hospital.”

eddie sits up in a frantic.

“what?! when?”

eddie looks at the time.

“babe, its nothing to worry about. she’s okay.”

“baby, im coming home!”

“ed—”

“yn! you’re at the hospital for god sakes!”

yn sighs. “eddie, i promise she’s okay. the doctors prescribing her some medicine! she’ll be better this afternoon.”

eddie runs his finger through his hair. he keeps forgetting its shorten. 

“may i at least talk to her?”

yn scoffs. “sure, if you wanna hear nothing but snot and baby language.” yn tries to cheer him up. unfortunately the only thing that would make him happy is being there with his family.

“daddy wants to talk to you, baby.”

“dada?” lily points to the phone.

yn puts the phone on speaker. “you’re on speaker, babe.”

“lily, how’s my girl doing?”

“sick.”

eddie could see her pouting.

“i know baby. im sorry! i promise when i get home, daddy’s gonna give you lots and lots of cuddles angel.”

she babbles. eddie smiles sadly.

“love you so much, lily-pad! you’re my angel.”

“wuv, dada.”

eddie heart soars. yn takes the phone off speaker. “im sorry i didn’t tell you. i just—”

“baby, i need to know these things, okay? i know you’re just trynna help, i do, and i appreciate it so much, my love. its just—it stresses me out even more when i don’t know. you and the kids, they come first! fuck the music. my family is first, always.” eddie states.

“im sorry.”

eddie sighs. “where are my other babies?”

“with uncle steve.”

“call me when you get home, okay? wanna make sure you’re all okay!”

“okay, eds! i love you.”

eddie will never get tired of hearing her say those three little words. “i love you, baby.”

“eddie, its time to go!”

“go ahead rockstar! ill talk to you soon.”

“bye, beautiful.” eddie ends the call soon after.

[kerryweaverlesbian]

sometimes i think about the gadreel telling dean to kick cas out plotline and am filled with more rage than you can imagine. its NOT even that like. dean was mean to cas or anything im sure he gave cas money or something bc i cant see a world where he kicked cas out with nothing and he was pretty forthright about caring about cas during that sequence where cas wasn't allowed in the bunker.

but its SOOOO obvious the only reason cas didn't get to stay in the bunker was because of the hand of the author. they didnt wanna change the status quo of the show. im not even talking about destiel im talking about the fact that castiel being human, and potentially learning to enjoy being human with his best friends, would destroy the rest of the season's planned plotline for him. he would've just gone completely human and not wanted to be an angel anymore. this would've also meant he could've went on more hunts much earlier than he did in the actual show, and his dynamic with both brothers could've developed during the downtime between him being safe in the bunker and the rest of the season's plotline moving (bc lbr the season plotline doesn't pick up again until holy terror, and this isn't a bad thing its just very obvious)

(although i still stand by that if you wanted to actually successfully pull off the rest of the season you could just have him be kidnapped later, hear that ezekiel is dead, and then have him make the call to become an angel again in order to be able to escape and help dean. like the phonecall where dean is like "and you're okay with that?" re: cas being an angel again would've hit a lot harder bc dean would've been able to pick up on his enjoyment of some aspects of being human)

also the doylist reasoning behind not letting him spend time with cas is also to isolate dean so he starts working with crowley when the gadreel reveal happens.

also lets be fucking real the sexual tension between human cas and dean would've been off the charts they were like we cant fucking write that the fucking (heller comrade) traitors on our writing team WILL make it gay we CANT do that.

sorry for this essay im just. its one of the biggest wastes of potential in the show.

So true bestie. The hiatus between season 8-9 was my first in the fandom and we were all CERTAIN that Destiel was going to happen from how gay the last couple of episode were (THE CRYPT SCENE. THE ARROW IN THE BAR.) And then. Then. I mean like people were convinced every season hiatus but there was something in the air for that one. And that thing was destiel. So they stopped letting them hang out.

On the bright side, I enjoy how horrible the experience is for Dean having to lie to both Sam and Cas because I'm a sicko. And it's very funny. He was SO close to having everything he wants (Sam alive and well. Hell closed. Cas with them permanently.) And he can't have that because of one, shall we say, social faux pas. And every day someone is asking him with genuine kindness and love "but Dean, isn't happiness directly in your grasp? Don't you want to grasp it?" And he has to go. Through gritted teeth. "No. I like it like this. This is happiness for me. It's my choice."

It's cringe comedy, it's a comedy of errors, it's lies on lies on lies. It's funny! Especially since Sam just sort of decides to find Cas incredibly charming this season out of nowhere. Just to twist the knife that Dean has to make the problem. So, it might help to reframe it that way haha.

And also, 9.06 is GREAT FUN for me in particular. Ohhh we want to be together so bad but even if we say it nothing will change so we won't and we're both bitter about it but damn do I love you. Catnip for me. It has its problems but the NIP.

I do think that a more charitable part of the Doyalist explanation is a problem they run into very noticeably in s10, 11 and 12: they only have enough money designated for a certain number of guest star appearances. That's why he's "watching The Wire" so often lol. This is an assumption of mine but like. That's gotta be the reason. So they wanted something for Cas to be out there Doing when he's offscreen for long periods (and they were just like 'fuck it' in later seasons)

This is a tangent but I think it's so interesting how obvious in Supernatural it is that practical constraints affect the material plot. All monsters are guys in suits. Season 3 is cut short from the writers strike so Dean goes to Hell. Cas and Mary can't be in as many episodes that they obviously should be in so their character flaws are that they're flakey and often disappear. They couldn't get JDM for a season 3 episode of Dean's nightmare so they had Dean's biggest fear in fact be succumbing to his own self-hatered.

Anyway. In conclusion, season 9 sucks. I agree.