#so this didn't feel like such a stretch
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Vicar/Hunter -> Empyrean/Shadow
#bloodborne#but it's also#elden ring#hear me out#I went to the Elden Ring concert and was contemplating how Maliketh and Gehrman are both coded Sad Dog Men tasked with overseeing death#and we've already got a medieval AU where Gehrman is a magical talking dog#so this didn't feel like such a stretch#I just like churning them through multiple AUs like an ice cream machine#laurence the first vicar#gehrman the first hunter#unhinged au#my only regret is that I couldn't make the burial blade work well in the composition
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guess who has two thumbs and passed out in the back of an A350???
#GOD. WHY?????#I got up to stretch my legs and just wanted to stand for a bit#the next thing I knew I was surrounded by concerned flight attendants who were INSISTING that I drink some water and apple juice#And I was just like “oh no this isn't for me I wasn't the person who asked for apple juice”#and it took me a HOT SECOND to realise that my ass was flat on the ground.#I have no idea wtf happened.#I usually feel severely nauseous before I faint...#Not this time#I had absolutely no fucking clue I was about to drop like a sack of bricks.#annoying.#SO GLAD I DIDN'T PISS MYSELF HOLY FUCK GUYS.#THAT FEAR IS REAL LET ME TELL YOU.#anyways#I'm fine. Just a bit emberassed lmao.
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the training montage in crossroads re-ignited a headcanon i had of geralt waking up and doing gymnastics, performing kickflips and mid-air spins around on a fencepost outside an hour before sunrise to ‘limber up,’ and bleary-eyed dandelion wrapping himself up in a blanket to be like "heyyy... what the hell are you doing 💖"
#if you're wondering what kind of moves he's doing he's standing on a fencepost and doing your typical flexibility stretches#but alternating between reps of stretches with kickflips from one post to the other#like ciri training in kaer morhen#i'm not going to lie witchers are cool but fandom ruined them a bit for me and now crossroads has given me that childlike wonder back#because fandom heard 'physical ability and stamina' and did you know what with it#but the agility and precision of witchers remain so underrated. as part of the deconstruction of the superhuman trope#geralt doesnt really show off as much in the books and does cool stuff only when needed but#like when (mentioned) he hit the rat in the darkness with his thrown fork... as a party trick#and killing renfri's men in the market at blaviken... and killing the scoia'tael on thanedd#and RUNNING ALONG THE BRIDGE on the battle of the bridge#and the nilfgaardians were amazed and they WERE AMAZED AS THEY DIED!!!!!!!!#and killing rience's mercenaries who didn't know who they were fighting so they were like hey what the fuck... what the fuck#i'm literally back to witcher 101 basics here. nothing interesting to contribute but like a little boy i am just smiling and saying#'dude geralt of rivia is soooo cool he can like fight a bunch of guys with his sword'#half of me wants to seek deeper themes and half of me is just like YOOO GERALT SO COOL !!#listen... there is a time to plant a time to reap#a time to analyze and a time to geek#i should probably just watch a bunch of ballet or best of gymnastics comps and i'll find what i'm looking for#also sorry CROSSROADS OF RAVENS SPOILERS artamon dying was a hilarious moment i know it was like oooh this will have consequences#but it was nice to have the evil antagonist get merked in the sme chapter as he's fucking introduced#and not even by mature experienced geralt but by some literal eighteen year-old who he tried pulling a fast one on#1) i was happy that sapkowski didn't drag it out terribly. this was humorous and refreshing after in season of storms#2) geralt almost riding off but having a feeling to go back... listen i know it's so cliche and it's giving lady of the lake chapter 4#where he eavesdrops in the caves under castle zubarran and just happens to hear stefan skellen reveal that vilgefortz was in castle stygga#but it also was satisfying to me because after reading the hussite trilogy#where reynevan (stupid and young man; like geralt here) DOES NOT LEARN after several. SEVERAL lessons#i was honestly worried for a second that we were going to get a reynevan moment. but no. because this is geralt and not reynevan#and seeing geralt develop critical thinking skills in real time was not only satisfying but a bit funny#and yes nostalgiabaiting me#like omggggg yesss his detective skills yesss that's so geralt of him
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I've gotten a couple replies of "and that's terrifying" on this post about the more stable members of Bells Hells, and, to be honest, hate that, so let's talk about it.
There's a couple reasons. The first that I still don't know who the fuck thought the Issylra half of the party split would be Team Levelheaded and not Team Abandonment Issues, because, well, it's the latter. The second is that there's been a near constant undercurrent from quite early in the campaign of "oh Orym...he's going to break...he's a powder keg" and while he's decidedly not a powder keg, we did get him finally breaking a bit, and suddenly everyone's like "HORRIFYING that the guy I kept claiming was uniquely angsty is now having a harder time with the party split than the other characters whose equally tragic backstories I've consistently ignored, diminished, and dismissed."
All three of the Bells Hells characters in Team Issylra have issues related to loneliness and being left behind, which is a common thread through the party, but notably, Fearne, FCG, and Chetney being more stable should not be surprising nor scary. Resilience isn't tied to whether or not you're somewhat chaotic, or have mechanically-induced loss of control, and that's what we're talking about here. The reason why Team Issylra is having a rough time of it - and specifically why Laudna and Orym are falling apart whereas Ashton is doing comparatively well - is because they've been constantly pretending things are okay. Chetney, meanwhile, genuinely does think the worst thing that happened to him fucking rules, and has the age and perspective and sheer survival instincts to pull through; FCG has, within the story, had to face some horrifying realizations about himself and so has some tools for this kind of situation; and Fearne is to be honest still learning that consequences are a thing that happens, but she has dealt with a few profound disappointments and is sitting with them - she openly admitted she's not terribly impressed by her parents.
On the other hand, I think Orym has worked through the earlier stages of grief, to be sure, but he's put a brave face on over it and tried to look at the bright side. Which isn't the worst idea, but it means when the things he's built that idea of a bright side upon - Keyleth's infallibility, his relationships within the Crown Keepers - are nowhere to be found, he doesn't have anything to take hold of. He adjusted to one devastating change by clinging to the constants, and now that many of the constants are gone too, he has no mechanism to process the change in their absence.
And this is Laudna's whole deal, right? I do in fact agree that her initial death was still the worst thing that's happened to her so far, but that doesn't mean she can't still be incredibly upset by major events. It's comforting to know you've survived worse, but it doesn't necessarily help you actually get through a slightly less terrible (but still pretty terrible) situation. She says she can't stop compartmentalizing or she'll cry - but like, she'd probably feel better if she'd just spent the second watch crying. Like Orym, Laudna's developed this idea that she can will things into being okay, and in the end, she can't. Leaning into the "Today SUCKS" attitude would, honestly, help her, and I'm hoping she does so.
Ashton meanwhile doesn't have healthy coping mechanisms, but they do have coping mechanisms that work in this situation (namely, drinking and hitting things). He also, more importantly, has no investment in pretending things are okay. Ashton thinks the world is full of utter bullshit that will fuck you over, and the point is to get through it, and sure, it's a very cynical mindset, but there's a reason why toxic positivity is, well, toxic.
As a sidebar, I also think that Ashton has, fascinatingly and despite their drunken talk with Laudna on the skyship, put their abandonment issues into perspective. Ashton is able to handle the current situation because, logically, they were teleported to a random location beyond their control and with no capacity to contact other people, so it's reasonable to assume the other half of the party is in the same position. No one abandoned anyone. To quote Ashton themself, actually, from episode 25, "Sometimes shit's just fucked up, and the only thing you can do because you didn't do anything fucking wrong, is get the fuck back up and do the exact same thing all over again knowing that there was nothing to learn." On the other hand, the fact that Milo saved Ashton makes that particular situation worse. If Ashton had been left to die in the street and a random uninvolved stranger picked him up? Then you can at least imagine the Nobodies had to leave, or couldn't pick them up for whatever reason, or even perished themselves. The fact that Milo was able to make this choice means the Nobodies also had the ability to make a choice, and the choice was to leave them behind, and that's what stings, and that's the unique loneliness, and that's why this situation isn't comparable.
So anyway, in summary, it's unsurprising the two people who have handled grief and tragedy by trying to quietly (in Orym's case) and not-so-quietly (in Laudna's) smooth it over are finding themselves completely unable to do so and barely holding together, whereas the people who allow themselves to be upset or, frankly, just go apeshit, are doing much better.
#critical role#critical role spoilers#bells hells#Ashton (and Deni$e) are honestly reminding me of the Yasha pit fight in C2 rn#like was that a healthy coping mechanism no but Yasha honestly did feel much better after it and her recovery trajectory went up from there#and ashton has the other dimension of like. he has chronic pain. it's unfair and serves no purpose. shit happens.#it's very they should invent a way out that isn't through but unfortunately they didn't so fuck it i'm smashing the wall#i mean barbarian rage as catharsis isn't a new idea by any stretch but. the thing about a reckless attack is it feels good as hell
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Dr. “Has to get a good grade in therapy” Doran (Patreon)
#Doodles#Okay so none of them feature but uhhhh#SCII#It's related I swear lol#Damned#Finally a tag that makes sense here lol#Wander Over Yonder#Wander#I still mean Dr. Doran haha how clumsy of me :)#More concept stuff for funsies because yaayyyy#Fun to work with by design haha - he just wants to help people! He really does feel like a good fit ♪ Lovely feeling haha#Pretty fun to draw even if his design is rather cartoony haha#Realistically he'd probably have red curls but it's fun to hold some of his cartoon design elements! Wander's fur is all round like that#Freckles could be considered on-model depending on your definition lol the little patterning in his fur could count....maybe lol#So it's a bit of a stretch that's fine! His facial hair is definitely accounted for! Good good#And keeping his hat and banjo as props hehe hey if Stein gets to be all stitchy then Wander can be a bit quirky it's fine!#There's an explanation! It makes sense so it's fine! Lol#That really is my favourite part honestly it's rearranging [character] until they're puzzle-piece shaped <3 There's the spooks to it!#And I love the spooks :) The therapists get the least amount of Pain and Suffering but they're excellent spookage set dressing#Wander's great for that because he Can get a little in his head about him feeling helpful > actually being helpful#Which I think is Perfect honestly <3 He's such a great fit I love him#I didn't see much of the other therapists - Wilson got the double feature! I do want to check out the others'#But from the descriptions there didn't seem to be anyone specializing in kids' mental health?? Which is weird to me! There's kids there!#I mean even if he didn't specialize in pediatric therapy he'd still decorate his office the same way lol he just leaned into it#It's cozy in here ♪ Inviting! He wants you to feel better so badly! Please feel better#Just a totally chill guy other than the He Needs To Do Well#Hehe
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I'm about halfway to two thirds through You Feel It Just Below the Ribs, and asdjasdlkajsadjal
The reveals, the implications, I can't even - mentally I'm rolling on the floor frothing at the mouth. I want to go back and listen to season 3 and season 1 all over again, holy shiiiiit
#viv18chatter#within the wires#you feel it just below the ribs#bless my library for having such a great collection#did not expect to find a book written for an alternative history podcast in its repertoire#but have it they did! all three versions I might add - physical digital and audio#anyways point is shit is really coming out now and I am loving the fictional tea#both from the ''actual'' autobiography and the side implications of the footnotes and interludes#well in between wanting to shake the fictional authors of said footnotes and interludes lol#''edited for clarity'' edited HOW? Was the writing smudged or otherwise unclear and you made your best guess?#did you change words around that YOU thought didn't make sense?#TELL ME WHAT WAS EDITED DAMMIT#and that's not even getting into the VERY opinionated footnotes and interludes#I know it would be expensive and tricky to make#but man I would love if the authors were able to make a special edition of this book#that looked like the actual manuscript#or like ... the one that was released in-universe that was being beta'd by the publishers - so we see the handwritten pages with smudges#the faded typewriter pages#with the publishers notes etc all over it#oooh stretch goal of the internal communications while going over the manuscript would prbably be a fun aside too#sometimes I wonder if there weren't multiple people making footnotes (though only one making the interludes I think)#because sometimes they vary quite wildly in tone#that could just be situational of course#but still#interesting thoughts
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#that first gif... he is deadly#james spader#alan shore#boston legal#*#favorite#there's a full-length shot in this scene where you can see his belly. stretching the fabric of his shirt just above his waistband. ougghhh#trying to focus on how sexy this is but this episode was so. soft and suffering alan#once again everyone expects the worse from him. they ASK it of him for their own benefit#and he doesn't disappoint. he is the worst and he loses his temper and finds himself on the ledge again#when he storms out of denny's office so mad he can't even look at him. went home alone and furious and upset#drank himself to sleep for the first time in months if not years bc after a good run it feels like things are falling apart again#the way they always do. because that's what alan shore deserves#he thought it might be different this time. he thought well my parents didn't care about me. my wife died. I got fired. everyone leaves#maybe this time will be different. but now he's in the hotel room where he lives. without his best friend. about to be disbarred. stupid.#this was always going to happen because he doesn't deserve any better. they were all right about him. they were right to run away#everything is fixed the next day he and denny go on a field trip 🤠 but GD!!!!!#alaaaaannnnnnn 😭
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Do you have any set rules for yourself when drawing your characters, like ‘Runi cannot be more than 12 apples high’ or something
Do NOT look at me, I'm so bad at keeping the sizes consistent. I swear everyone's just a wither height of someone else. It's always the withers. Runi's head comes to Nero's withers, sometimes her jaw or sometimes the top of her head. Nero's jaw goes to Bones' withers. Usma and Eve go to Antaras' except sometimes not quite, sometimes they're all magical height. Sequentical art hard.
#ask#technical stuff#meemies#to be honest i'm a little bitter to the old ratt who came up with such size difference for does and stags in the beginning#now i just have to sleep in the bed i made but if I started GS again the dimorphism would be subtler#i was so used to huge size diffs between characters during my monster deer/mythical creature rp days that it didn't feel like a stretch
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#i don't think the fic is bad or anything but it fought me more than any story has this year. mostly bc of how i've been feeling?#and i think i could've made it a lot better if i'd shelved it for like two or three months tbh#until i was in the right mindset to try to say what i was trying to say? which is one of the main reasons why i shouldn't do big bangs tbh.#but! it's done. and that's the important thing lmao. and i did say my priority this year is finishing things not making them good#i do feel like. there's? some pressure? well-meaning and incredibly kind to be clear! but i do.#but i feel like i have. expectations? on me? and i'm not sure this is going to live up to them?#which is. like i think the story turned out fine but i feel like ppl expect more than fine? from me?#which!!! sounds conceited!!! i am aware!!! but i don't mean it in conceited i mean it like. i'm /stressed/ lmao.#like i think i'd be more okay with failing to meet my own expectations if ppl were okay w/ expecting less from me?#this is a mess.#i just wish i could be proud that i got it finished and instead didn't feel like i was going to let ppl down who expected more?#anyway. i've been working on my internal expectations this year. and i think next year has GOTTA be about external expectations lmao.#like it's absolutely no one's fault it's my own bad brain and you're absolutely not responsible for my feelings!! it's just.#anyway. i'm going to focus on being proud of myself for finishing it because it was very very very hard for me to do that#so it's done! and that's exciting!#and that's gotta be the most important thing for me rn lmao#stretching that writing muscle tag
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i am disappointed by DE eagerly canonizing stuff like "why did people go crazy on Zariman?" and "what exactly happened on Duviri?" through wf 1999 but as soon as we start talking timeline, they bail. "Oh the Orokin destroyed all evidence of the old Earth, we don't know how long ago it was." "The Tenno were asleep for umpteen-billion years* but since they were asleep it doesn't really matter for how long."
*an approximate quote by one of the Hex (pretty sure it was Eleanor who you could argue is not very knowledgable but she's seen what Drifter knows didn't she?). correct me if i remembered it wrong i guess
#i personally don't believe that it's been so long between the fall of the Orokin and present day#(despite them throwing “forgotten'' and ''lost'' around all the time)#like western civilization was so different 200 400 years ago#and the orokin age and present day isn't even separated by such huge inventions as car/plane and computers#it was more like people sifting through the rubble for what already existed#so i don't think the ''billions'' are actually necessary. and for my own story i actually have to shrink that to around a century:\#but even though i'm stretching (shrinking) i think it could be possible#Warframe#ngl i feel really punched in the throat by the zariman explanation#the entire time i lived thinking - as we've been told - that void just does that to adults#but apparently wally just decided to do some experiments on ants?#maybe i'm just dumb and was supposed to connect the dots but i didn't. now i have to rethink my approach to wally
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#i was an ugly kid (I struggled with cystic acne since i was 7). the other kids would call me a witch.#i took a drug to get it under control (and i still get acne in my late 20s...)#one of the weirdest experiences when my skin got better was that people didn't recognize me (superman effect is real)#this girl who was my friend started talking mad shit about me (the ugly kid); not knowing it was ME (she didn't know me back then).#i didn't tell her because i felt like shit about it#i am considered pretty but my face is very scarred around the temples and forehead. my first boyfriend made me feel like shit about it#he freaked out. he also tried to coerce me but i didn't care enough for him.#i think it's why i like monsters so much. i felt like one in my early life. and it's whiplash that people want to like me now.#i used to be very insecure about my scars. but my brother told me i looked like the boy from little monsters (the 80s movie)#it's a monster hiding under a child's stretched skin#and i liked that. feeling like an actual monster made me own it and feel better about it. lmao#and i also started liking that i have a witchy face#this was brought to you by a poll that made me think of my experiences with pretty privilege and ugliness#vent
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Thasmin is like the opposite of ships like Swan Queen or Supercorp because while it is canon, the relationship itself is barely there in the show and lacks any serious focus or development whereas Swan Queen or Supercorp are both major parts of their respective shows and given a lot of focus and development even if the relationships themselves never become canonical romantic. None of these shows handled these relationships well, I'm all ranted out over my issues with OUAT, but it is fascinating that the relationships that were non-canon still feel more genuine than the one that was.
#doctor who#once upon a time#supergirl#shipping thoughts#what must it be like getting into something like thasmin through fan content#only to then watch the show and discover there's barely anything there#it is a stretch to even say they have a relationship#when yaz says she wants more time with the Doctor at the end of episode 4 it just doesn't feel earned#they've barely gotten to know each other#she's saying what you expect a companion to say at that point#but nothing has been done to really set that up#which is one of the crucial systematic issues with the era#it does things because you expect them in doctor who#not because it has earned them#same with thasmin#you expect the doctor and companion to be romantic#because we've had so many before#but the leg work is never put in for it to feel genuine#meanwhile the other shows did more than enough to earn a romantic relationship#but the writers obvious didn't want to commit
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#sometimes I feel like dihlgital art is so unfair. and I'm not talking about anything drawn digitally#I'm talking about brushes that are specific things like chains or something#can you really say you drew it if you used a brush that makes a chain that you didn't create?#idk I'm probably just jealous#me complaining#not art#text#and I can't stretch it out enough but there's nothing wrong or bad about digital art in general
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#cats#I am trying to get my cat to associate wearing the harness with getting to go outside and smell things#cuz our other partner is gonna drive me and the cat home since neither she nor I should be put on planes if at all avoidable#so I'd like her to be able to get out of the car with us at rest stops and stretch her little beans and smell stuff#instead of just being in a car or a hotel room for like 3 days#so far she has been very good about not pulling or trying to escape#even when she does not agree with my decision to not walk through the landscaping in socks#(I didn't forget her tail she doesn't have one)#(I know it's after midnight everywhere as far west as NA rn so I do feel the need to clarify this is not a joke)#(I really did take my cat outside just before I drew this)#(there were a lot of slugs and they did not interest her at all)
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#ahh poor youjin she didn't do anything wrong#also minseol? girl you said you wouldn't be swayed lmao#kihaaaaaa choose kiha the eye candy#they didn't#bitches#this new girl is one of the strangest looking women I've ever seen kbs really is weird af#dongho is kind of cute#hyejin looks like karina#minseol is so funny#theo....... I have no words#he made sian a flower ring ]#he's adorable I'm tearing up#even she is touched#if she's still into that first what's his name now then holy shit girlllll#jeongsu is so boring I can't even remember his name#pool scene was soooo much fun#I feel kind of bad for youjin she just totally got lost? she was popular in the beginning#I'm glad it looks like she's gonna try a little more with dongho next episode tho#and finally#it's sian and theo ofc even in paradise cmon she has to choose him in the end#and I think people calling her female gwanhee is a huuuuuuuge stretch#junseo... it feels like he doesn't really like minseol but let's see maybe he'll come around#and dongho I would prefer it if he chose youjin but arin is second best#single's inferno#ep 5 and 6 big rant#I'm doing it like a panelist bye#how's there still 6 more episodes?#also wow why did they change the iconic theme song? wtf I hate changes#jiyeon and taehwan so boring#I wish netflix would release a single's inferno season every month to eradicate the boredom from my life
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god i really want to sign up for a bad things happen bingo card and just like. write the messed up whump and h/c that my freaky (derogatory) little heart really wants lmaoooo, i haven't written h/c for the sake of h/c (aka without, like, turning it into a Fic) in so so so long, but also i have enough on my plate with ye olde trying to build a consistent writing habit with my mcspirk bingo card - which is more about writing stories for me lmao, and not just, like, me leaning over my keyboard in a dimly lit room rubbing my grubby little hands together as i hurt someone (leonard mccoy) and then let the people who love them kiss their forehead and comfort them.
but oh i was looking at the list of the prompts, and i was like, yeah, yeah i do actually want to let my h/c freak flag fly lmaoooooo
i know it's not a good idea because i do not want to let myself get overwhelmed and/or in over my head! but also. also. also. i still have le ongoing problem of wanting to turn everything into a capital-f Fic instead of just dashing off nonsense, like i'll dash off nonsense all day here lmaoooo, but when it comes to a story i want to??? this sounds so pretentious. i always want to write something??? Good???? i don't mean good writing or whateve,r i mean like a??? meaningful story??? (ugh so pretentious) (and to be clear i'm NOT saying i'm succeeding - only attempting!!!)
and the siren call of writing 1k about a cardboard cutout bad guy that has a knife to mccoy's throat while mccoy backtalks and kirk tries to bargain and mccoy is trying to hide the fact that he's already been stabbed in the side and spock has to carry him back once kirk shoots the bad guy??? listen. listen.
but also i do know myself and would i be Content with dashing off 1k nonsense or would i. still. the meaning. would i still the meaning. that's the question. the meaning. would i still.
am i looking at my neighbor's yard like wow that grass looks so green and takes no upkeep (probably), do i still want mccoy with a knife at his throat and jim's desperate eyes and steady voice and spock's steady eyes and the imperceptible tremble in his hands as he picks mccoy up from where he fell (absolutely)
i mean i could just get a card! it doesn't mean i have to write anything! (that's the devil speaking)
(the devil looks so hot tho)
(the devil's got them baby blues)
#this isn't even really about me writing this is me TRANSPARENTLY hoping someone will say ''just get a card'' lmaooo i am. being SO obvious.#i'll still put it in the tag#stretching that writing muscle tag#i do genuinely know it's a bad idea to be clear#and i honestly do not know if i could shake the mindset that i need to write? like? stories with meaning?#(i'm not saying i DO to be clear!!!! i just mean that feels like what i have to ATTEMPT is all (ugh so pretentious!!!!))#this is actually a bad idea isn't it. okay i think i talked myself out of it. (for now)#this is just me tryin to avoid what i'm supposed to be working on right now isn't it!!!!#i've connected the two dots / you didn't connect shit / i've connected them#(i give myself two weeks max before those baby blues make me a sinner lmaoooo)
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