#so this could be a fun thing to fix my lil problem cuz i DO like stuff with bold lineart and i wanna replicate that ig… gets me in the flow

[pinyatapix]

showin off this random ass doodle of an LPS gijinka i did today cuz i managed to discover my own brand new fucked up form of doing lineart

who needs ink pens when you got Infinite Painter-brand lasso fill tool biitch

anyways full picture. drew it while kinda exhausted and glum for no real reason, felt like mulch. idk why i made her coat cotton-candy colored lol

[thebearme]

Here's my Parappa hcs and reimagine ideas for Matt & Paula

Sunny

Sunny is a cosmo flower like her mother.

Because of her mother's recent death, her dad Potter became UBER PROTECTIVE. The classic "ur the last thing of her, I have to protect you" you know.

Unrelated thing but idk when I'll ever talk about this guy but Potter HAS to be half object head, the only plant thing apart of him is his hair. idk maybe yall can figure it out... also i think he gave birth to sunny and no i will not elaborate.

Sunny is asexual and intersex but what do you expect, she's a plant.

She got all her arm strength from her dad. All those home military drills really helped.

She's superb at skateboarding but tends to not do so beings she doesn't want to get her dress ruin. But give her time to change, and she'll start shreddin.

Sunny has Bipolar disorder type 1.

Sunny grew up a lil sheltered. She lives in the middle of the woods and only goes into town for groceries! She started going out more and more when she started school for the first time, especially after she got some friends.

I'm taking this headcanon from the fic life in parappa town and expanding it but Sunny is in this plant belief system where you stay loyal to Mothernature and when you die you'll become a part of her. She doesn't eat meat, she gives back to nature and be kind to all Mothernature's creatures.

Sunny take cares and own her mother's "small" farm. She used to give her produce to the community for free, but because of the government finding out about that, she had to put it on pause. She either sells it for big money, or the government will take her land and profit from it them self.

Parappa

Parappa is his rap name. His name is Pa and his nickname is Pappy.

He's a bagel and hound mix, but has more bagel dog tendencies.

He's hat was bought by his mom before she left.

Parappa's mom divorce her husband after one too many financial crises, just when Parappa was just graduated high school. (explaining the past tense in PtR2) Leaving Pappy with Papa Rappa while she takes care of Pinto herself.

His Mama always encouraged Parappa to reach his dreams as long it wasn't expensive. So after everything, Parappa was more determined than ever to believe in himself and never give up.

Parappa would do anything for Sunny, he would kill Joe Chin even!

After a while working at the videogame shop, Parappa will later work for Master Onion cuz at least he pays him.

Parappa has the n card cuz he's cool like that. im tired of hearing 'who gave him the n card?' well maybe he just born with it. stop judging my dog bro

Parappa's rapping career just recently started. He began rapping his poems by the end of high school, luckily for him his best friend has connections to get him up there.

He grew up with classic 80s-90s rap. Pappy is an oldhead.

Pappy is anti-drug, anti-gun rights and a BIG ACAB. He is a huge believer that 'only community can fix the issues and not some cops that with guns trying to make the problem worst' but if you listen to parappa's album you've probly already saw this coming.

He still an up-and-coming artist, eventho he's known around the town and performed with Club fun's mc twice... he just started selling his first album.

Pappy is pretty smart and could have got into a science major like his dad but choose music instead. His father wept.

Parappa guessed that Katy is lesbian years before she started dating Lammy because the god awful dates she would go on.

Parappa loves frogs, they're his favorite animal.

He has a concentration issue, dude can't stay on track for the life of him. And no he doesn't know he has ADHD.

His ass has maladaptive daydreamer.

Boxy boy was made for Parappa by his dad because of tendency to daydream everywhere and anywhere, he gives him sense.

Pappy has a stuttering and lisp problem, but it adds an interesting element to his raps.

Pappy can NOT keep a secret. He WILL tell Sunny!

He got orange hair

Pj

Pj or further known as King Berri is still the same as always, maybe a lil more tired.

He uses king as a stage name so he can have a bit of his fantasy come true.

Eats weed brownie everyday.

Pj now wears a hooding for pure comforter, it like wearing sleepingbag at all times.

Pj seems very comfortable with his life but he really just compliant.

Pj is estranged from his family. They have not talked in years and he doesn't plan on changing that.

Just like everyone, Pj doesn't hate being a dj but just hate working. All the fun he had for his craft was gone a long time ago. But if he still gets paid by his boss MC Mushi and gets his 'stuff' then his fine.

Pj is brutally honest to Parappa like always, someone got to be the straight man in the friendship.

He's the most likely in the friendship to get the other in trouble.

Pj lives in the college housing, particularly in the basement. He just likes it down there. But funny enough, it turns out the house doesn't stay as empty as what the staff said it would be.

He's roommate is Matt. He's not that bad when you get to know him, He's just a bit snobby, know-it-all and WAY to competitive... but chill? Ok he's a Chin but hey, atleast he's better then Joe.

Him and Matt met one rainy day when the power went out and Matt got jumpedscared but the bear in the basement.

Katy

Chatty Katty was her nickname back in high school and even in the college campus right now. She gets this nickname not because she talks bad of anyone, honestly the opposite. She talks up everyone she knows! Right after talking up herself.

Katy was a church goer growing up, so no duh she'll know everyone in the community.

Her and Pappy were in the church choir growing up, that's how they met. Later she got introduced Pj in school, the three of them started hanging out after that.

Parappa gives the biggest little brother vibe to Katy.

Katy has the vocabulary of a old lady and it's because of the older lady she works with at the diner.

Katy is that friend that went on so many bad dates, tells you about and it makes you think HOW the hell are you still dating men??

She met Lammy after running into each other from the college lecture hall. And she immediately invited her to the milkcan band practice.

Lammy and Katy were a will-they-won't-they thing then they met. Lammy likes Katy but doesn't think she would like her, Katy likes Lammy but doesn't think she's likes women so she continues going for men.

Katy has been going to church less as she goes into college, jobs, dates, band practice and battling the gay thoughts. oooo scary

Katy and Sunny met in middle school, Katy never liked the idea of girls tearing each other down. And Katy was right, Sunny was sweet as she thought.

Katy introduced Sunny to the boys and everyone went nicely, they shared lunch together.

Paula

Paula is base off a kit fox, she just put makeup over her facial mark.

She's got abit of rewrite; She's from a new money household but unlike her parents that fell into complete greed, She's still her old self.

Paula is a tomboy at heart and her true love is basketball and women.

She's a business major oooo. AND the captain of the basketball team.

She still beefing with Katy but you know- it's a friendly rivalry. Or at least it becomes one.

Paula has a little crush on Sunny after meeting her but she's very respectful about it and very real told anyone about it... besides Katy... who told Pj... who told Matt... who told Parappa... who told Sunny. But otherwise Paula got turned down rather nicely and took it well.

Matt

Matt and Joe are doodles, partially a cockapoo.

He is the younger brother of Joe Chin and makes it his LIFE GOAL to be Parappa's rival.

He bascally bradley for the extremely goofy movie.

Matt has a big gay crush on Pappy but he refuse to admit!

Joe Chin got to inherit the family business without even doing anything and Matt is really mad about that. So he's in school for a business degree and in the frat club for extra bonus points. All to impress his parents and get the family business instead.

Ok not related to Matt hcs but just one thing- I think Joe Chin is a womanizer manipulative creep! That's why Matt is a funny villain while Joe is a flatout villain villain.

There more hcs in the bottom but I didn't feel comfortable putting up with more of the light hearted stuff so...

darker things below, read with caution.

[broadway-gamzee]

WiThOuT mE-

nO oNe MoThErFuCkIn AsKeD fOr ThIs BuT i ThOuGhT iD lAy DoWn SoMe SiCk FiReS fOr KaRbRoS wRiGgLiNg DaY

((lyrics by caballineToxophallic, under the cut))

Gamzee M, real name no gimmicks

Two circus ring clowns go to Shangri-La

to Shangri-La, to Shangri-La

Two circus ring clowns go to Shangri-La

to Shangri-La, to Shangri-La

Guess who's back?

Chopped in half

Wicked clowns

Never die

Guess who's back? Guess who's back?

Guess who's back? Guess who's back?

Guess who's back? Guess who's back?

Guess who's back?

I've created a monster

'Cause nobody wants to see Gamzee no more

Cuz I'm ragin', your skin shivers

Well, if you wanta die, know I'll do it to ya 

A little stabbin, slice, get ya neck real nice

Bloodthirsty motherfucker looking for fun

If I catch you in my sights bitch you better run

Gag you with my bike horn, no one'll hear you scream

Cut your shit up rainbow style, looking real obscene

You waited this long, So no more hidin

'Cause I'm back, she's on the prowl, clown hunting

I know that you got a job, Ms. Kannie

But the way I'm fucked don't got me complaining

So sir Karkat V won't let me be

Or let me be me, No killing spree

He tried to shut me down with a shooshpap

But it feels so empty, what a sap

So, come on and dip, fizz on your lips

Fuck that, blood on your lips and some on your tits

And get ready, 'cause this is about to get heavy

Can't legislacerate this ass, fuck you, ‘rezi!

Now this looks like a job for me

So everybody, just bow to me

Guess that I'm a little, Bloodthirsty

'Cause it gets so boring, without me

I said this looks like a job for me

So everybody, just bow to me

Guess that I'm a little, Bloodthirsty

'Cause it gets so boring, without me

Little wrigglers, grubs goin' all nuclear  

Embarrassed their hips can't keep up with my Pelvis

They start feelin' like prisoners, helpless

'Til Condesce comes along on a mission and blasts, "JUST!"

No more Innocence, because in a sense

I got fucked by this planet, brainwashed by lil' Cal

I'm trouble, so just let me revel and bask

In the fact that I killed everyone up in this cast

And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe

Borrowing corpse heads getting my smooch on, you asked for me?

Well, I'm back, da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Fix your bent bonebulge and stop riding my clown ass

Under your skin like a splinter

And I plan on being a pain in your sphincter 

They say I'm deranged, worst thing since Alternia

Pre-arranged, It's all fate, it can't be changed

"Can't wait t'be GHB"

Who gives a shit, about some old musty bitch

Here's my ten cents, my two cents is free

It's all lame, cripped, too blind to see

Now this looks like a job for me

So everybody, just bow to me

Guess that I'm a little, Bloodthirsty

'Cause it gets so boring, without me

I said this looks like a job for me

So everybody, just bow to me

Guess that I'm a little, Bloodthirsty

'Cause it gets so boring, without me

A ticket a basket, for a show, and popcorn

They're all sayin' it's tragedy porn

Masticating, I'm not masturbating

Like that freak Zahhak, all horny and shit

And Tavros? Love you man, you're my homie

You spit sick fires and keep it on my level

And  unlike all those hoes, you know me

Every other bitch just thinks I'm the devil

Now let's go, I'm ready to mingle

And now I'm ready to do the 12-step tango 

I've been split into, call that six feet under

And watch your scalp if you've got boonbucks to plunder

She was such a righteous bitch

And now she's drinking potions out of my palm 

Don't bite the hand that feeds ya, snitch

Clowns never die, yeah I'm da bomb

But hey, I'm just a silly jester, you know?

Need to ingest some slime and take it slow

No, wouldn't take it back if I could

Done so much damage I don't think I should (hey)

Problem is I don't think

It don't matter, everyone knows I'm a fink

So what's the point of being sad, just party!

It'll be so empty, without me 

Now this looks like a job for me

So everybody, just bow to me

Guess that I'm a little, Bloodthirsty

'Cause it gets so boring, without me

I said this looks like a job for me

So everybody, just bow to me

Guess that I'm a little, Bloodthirsty

'Cause it gets so boring, without me

[coralsgrimes]

Sooo over the months I been typing these long ass coral life stories, very agitated may I add, but then the frustration wears off so I just been deleting the shite cuz why would anyone wanna read any of that.

Tho I have a fuck me story from today x.x

So imagine me just coral girlblogging making fun of Benny and then!!! A call! Sadly it was our lab technician and when he's calling it's gotta be real bad. But ye know there's this storm coming so maybe he just updating me about the department whatever they came up with??? Nooooo he did not xd

Lemme break it down for ye cuz like;

1. One of the cleaners walks by our cold room, feels that it's unusually warm around

2. No idea how long it took but the cleaner eventually tells the guard who comes by and is like oh it's fucking boiling

3. The guard calls our technician who comes by and decides the cold room is fucking broken

4. He calls me, while imma trying to girlblog, to come cuz it's a disaster

Sooo, I sent thousands of messages in our lab group chat asking who was the last one in the lab Saturday night and who's coming later today cuz I would appreciate the help. Still have no idea how long the cold room was boiling. Anyways it was me, the technician and later later later one other girl came by but she had her shite to do too so was not mucha help. We moved everything that was in there to freezers, cold rooms and fridges all over the building and in another fucking building cuz one thing about science - there's never enough space and so it happened that our cold room is the biggest in the building cuz we stock shit tons of media. And the problem is that the stuff there is big like bottles of reagents, media and I just made like a 200 fresh plates last week that might all be bin material at this point x.x so it was like impossible Tetris to put it all elsewhere lol and I had to make fucking lists of where each lil fucker went

Then I sent thousands of emails to PIs of the other lab groups in the building and everyone else in that circus to say yeee sorry to stuff yer fridge but our cold room is a sauna now soooo had no choice xd

And then, since cold room is a critical equipment, we called the service right, like to get to the shite and fix it they have to get on the roof cuz idk why but all the cold rooms in the building are like that apparently. So tonight/tomorrow it's stormy so no one is getting up that fucking roof, Tuesday maybe? Nope, they said MAYBE they can get someone to take a look on Friday....

Just so ye all know, the temperature in the cold room is supposed to be between 2 and 4 degrees. It was 26??? me think when I came, and then it was 39 when I was leaving xd it stinks and is so dirty I will probably have to deep clean it after it's fixed

And now, the storm is coming and I love rain on my roof windows but not the stormy about to kill me red weather alert rain and wind. Fun x.x

I do obviously blame Benny cuz the timing is absolutely not a coincidence lol I may make no sense but Imma so tired xd gotta come in late tomorrow as a treat and also after the worst alert is over xd if the power dies then I might even get tomorrow off cuz funny thing when there's no power they do have a generator back up, tho!! it can't power the whole building so if that happens they disconnect all equipment and all sockets and turn off the automatic lights and shite so that only freezers and fridges and incubators would take the power lol meaning no one on site. Let's pray actually 🙏 could use that lol

[britcision]

GUYS WHO IS READY FOR SOME BAD DECISIONS

yeah yeah he has a face now his head is coming together and he finally has hair cut he looks so sad look at him

More importantly

I want to put magnets in his hands, so he can clap and hold hands with Kabru and Lycion dolls when I make those and hold a knife

I want to put thin magnets in his hands so they don’t feel awful

Guess what is the only kind of magnet you can get 1mm thick

Neodymium 👀

The good shit

So I, like a good adult, did some online shopping and found some nice thin little neodymium magnets that are 10mm across and 1mm thick to go in his lil handses, similar to ones I’ve used before for prop making

And I got the weakest wee neodymiums they sell these days, N35 (11kg lifting power 👀 many knives)

But see the problem is the partner has found he likes using Mithrun’s tiny soft body to clean his computer screen, because he’s the perfect size and also I keep leaving him on top of his computer

And he is understandably displeased with the idea of neodymium magnets near ANY of our fun electronics like phones and tablets because we’re both magnetic hard drives old

So today I have spent about 3 hours doing researching and science and finding datasheets about the safe distance for all grades of neodymium magnets to sensitive objects like credit cards

And for the N35s you gotta be real close! Like 2cm before it fucks up a credit card!

And if you aren’t using a VERY old hard drive, you’re not going to wipe the memory with anything less than an industrial magnet anyway, because the SSDs in most computers and all phones and tablets do not use magnetism to encode memory

(The thing you can fuck up on a phone with magnets is the compass and some other delicate sensors which control things like your GPS and lens auto zoom and stuff - which is mostly fixed by moving the magnet but can be dangerous)

Partner remains sceptical for obvious “we cannot afford to replace these” reasons

So

I keep looking, both for thinner ceramic magnets and ways to safety my neodymiums

And I find two super easy convenient options

1) wrap that bitch in tape or plastidip or similar

This is recommended anyway since neodymiums tend to shatter if you let them clack together over any distance at all, and basically powder themselves all over everything and all the powder is also super magnetic and Will Not Be Moved

It’ll also seriously decrease the strength with even a thin layer, because the power of the magnet drops dramatically with increased surface area

(I do not want increased surface area but fuck it it’ll be less than 5mm I’ll take it)

2) heat

You bake that little bitch in your oven’s lowest setting for about 15 minutes like a tiny and powerful cookie and it just leeches the power right out

Cuz neodymium magnets are magnetised by being superheated and allowed to cool within a strong magnetic field

(This is why they are not used across all industrial magnet applications; they cannot take more than 320 degrees Celsius before being permanently demagnetised)

I learned this because some poor soul accidentally bought N50 neodymium magnets to try and stick things to his fridge with and ended up with magnets he could not physically separate that he wanted to weaken

Which is for the best because N50s can crush bones and damn near amputate fingers

(They’re about 30% stronger across the board than the N35, and can lift 14-14.5kg)

This is why you Never Ever Ever buy a magnet from anyone anywhere ever that does not tell you the grade, Amazon sellers don’t even all have a fucking website or data sheet you can check it is BULLSHIT

All neodymium magnets should have a grade starting with N and ranging from N35 to about N52 for easy access, but N42 is about where the price starts rising ridiculously with each grade and you can usually just use more than one magnet BUT.

You do not fucking need an N42 for most craft projects

You do not fucking need an N35 for most craft projects but they don’t make the weaker grades anymore

Ceramic or ferric magnets have grades that start in a Y and may be followed by letters as well as numbers

Flexible magnets are pathetic weak babysauce and none of them have grades but they also won’t hold a wet fart

We’re going to use the tape on our magnets, obviously

So Mithrun’s getting the power to lift a small dog until I like the winged lion nerf his ass to merely hold hands and knives

(I did also look up the average weights of boring to exciting knives to see what grade of other kinds of magnets I would need to be able to arm him and dammit it needs to be the neodymium it is tragic)

…. Okay gang so if I make me a lil Mithrun plushie which face does he get? Note: my 2D art skills are negligible but I’m gonna do the glass eye, it’s just not really mobile

1

2

3

4

5

6

[calpalirwin]

Are We?

A/N: Based on Are We by Taylor Acorn cuz I’m obsessed with her music (and you should be too)

Word Count: 1.9k

And away, and away we go!

__

You could feel the music from Michael’s DJ setup thumping in your bones as you stepped outside, the cool night air immediately bringing goosebumps to your arms. You slid into the jacket you brought with you, catching a lingering scent of cologne as you did, and sighed. That’s what you got for leaving your jacket right next to his. That’s what you got for having his hoodie on your dresser in the first place.

“Yeah, it’s a lil on the cold side, isn’t it?” a familiar voice drifted into your ear and you turned to the sound.

“A little, yeah. Too bad you left your hoodie at my place.”

“Eh,” Ashton shrugged. “I don’t mind if it stays there honestly. I have plenty of others. And I’m over at your place a lot, so at least I know I’ll always have a back up if I need it, ya know.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” you tried to laugh off as you raised your gaze to properly meet his, feeling your stomach tie itself in knots. 

“You good?” he prompted after a beat of watching you work your mouth, trying to form words and failing.

What are we? is what you wanted to ask, but what came out was a forced smile and a choked “Yeah, I’m good. Gonna grab a drink. Catch up later?”

“Sure thing,” he mumbled as you quickly walked off, before muttering a string of curses under his breath. “Just fuckin’ talk to her, for fuck’s sake…”

~~~

“Hey, I’m Ashton,” the brunette smiled widely at you, offering his hand.

“Y/N,” you smiled back, shaking his hand.

“Can I get you a drink?”

“No thanks, I’m good.”

Ashton giggled, pushing a hand through his hair. “Alright then. Well… if you change your mind…”

“I probably won’t, but I’ll find you if I do.”

“Cool.”

You sighed, maybe a little dreamily, as he walked off. Sure, he was cute. But the first time meeting butterflies in your stomach would settle eventually. And with how you and Ashton appeared to run in the same circle of friends, you needed the phase to pass without playing into it. A relationship was the last thing you needed right now anyway. 

~~~

“Some fuckin’ phase…” you muttered to yourself as you grabbed a water bottle from a cooler. When you turned, you could see Ashton chatting with other friends of yours, his shirt being pulled tight against his back and shoulders as he moved his hands animatedly.

Your mind raced with who’s fault it was for the storm you couldn’t make sense of. On one hand, rationally, you knew it was your fault for being the one to set the friend boundary in the first place. But Ashton was the one who had crossed it. And now you were the one who felt like the clingy one-night stand, trying to put the pieces of a puzzle together with both sides blank. Although, in hindsight, maybe if it had only been a one-night stand, you could be playing it cool like he was.

~~~

“Oh, my God, get a room!” Calum groaned before chucking a pillow at Luke, and another one at Michael. “We have a rule against fucking in a public space for a reason.”

“We’re not fucking,” Michael defended, his words mumbled as his lips stayed locked on Crystal’s.

“Well, fuck you, I’m going to bed then. And wearing ear plugs I guess…” Calum rose to his feet with a huff.

“Night, mate,” Luke told him as he and Sierra came up for air, their foreheads knocking gently against each other’s.

Now alone to deal with the two couples making out like sex-crazed teenagers, you and Ashton shared a look where he made a kissy face that had you busting up laughing. 

“Alright, fine!” Michael threw up his hands in defeat. “We’ll go to bed.”

“Have fun!” Ashton grinned.

“Use protection!” you joined in on the teasing as both couples headed to their own rooms. “Ugh…” you sighed, stretching your arms over your head. “Is it wrong to be jealous?”

“Jealous of what? That?” Ashton asked, motioning towards Luke and Michael’s rooms.

“Yeah. Not necessarily the relationship bit. Still not sure I want that. But God, to just get fucked senseless by someone who’s not a rando every now and again would be nice.”

“Well…” he started, and you noticed the subtle switch to his suggestive tone. “You know where my room is.”

“Are you seriously trying to hit on me right now?”

He shrugged, raising his hands defensively. “Look. You’re the one who said you wanted to get fucked senseless by someone who’s not a rando. I just happen to be someone who’s not a rando to you, and I have a great track record of being one hell of a lay. So… you could just go to your room, and do whatever it is you do. Or you could come to mine, and I’ll treat you to a good time, no awkwardness afterward guaranteed.”

“No one can know.”

“Pity… I like ‘em loud.”

“Ashton.”

“Alright, alright. This stays between you and me, got it. Not a problem.”

~~~

Both of you thought that it would just be that night. That if it happened too much, things would either get awkward, or you’d run the risk of your friends catching on. But sex with Ashton was like a drug. And now things were definitely awkward. Or at least, you were awkward. And you didn’t know how to take it all back. To be the people you were when you first met. And more than that, you didn’t want that. All this time, you thought it was space that you needed. But Ashton wasn’t someone you could erase. Because even if you acted like regular friends in public, those moments underneath the sheets were heaven. But you could do without each middle-of-the-night goodbye tearing you more and more apart. You could do without thinking about him in every spare moment, and second guessing everything you ever thought you knew about him. And you could really do without crying every time you tried to convince yourself that it didn’t matter whether it's all in your head, or if it’s real. But alas, it seemed like you were destined to be just another woman who fell for Ashton Irwin, wishing to wake up with him still next to you just once. 

~~~

You stayed at Michael’s party for a while longer, making your rounds, while avoiding Ashton as much as you could, until you started your rounds of goodbyes.

“Headed out?” Ashton questioned, one arm wrapping around you for a side hug that made your insides twist more.

“Long day,” you half-lied.

He pulled a frown, wondering how much he should believe you or not. “Well, alright then. Text me when you get home so I know you got there safe?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“And uh…” he paused as his eyes darted around, checking to see if anyone was in earshot. “Call if you need to.” His breath was hot as it brushed against your ear, before his lips planted a quick kiss to the side of your head.

“Yep, see ya!” you said, maybe louder than you needed to before making your final exit.

Don’t call him, you thought on a loop the whole drive back to your apartment. 

Don’t call him, you thought as you texted the group chat that you got home, rather than just him. 

Don’t call him, you thought as you stared at your phone screen, finger hovering over his contact info. 

Sighing, you set your phone face down on your nightstand. It’s not like calling him would do any good if you didn’t know what to say anyhow. 

“Seriously, don’t do it,” you whispered to yourself as you changed into his hoodie for bed. If you couldn’t have him the way you wanted, this would have to be enough. Everything with all its complications would have to be enough.

You were double checking locks and turning off lights when your phone started ringing. You didn’t have time to process the name calling as you hit accept. “Hello?”

“Hey…” Ashton’s voice responded, sounding almost broken. 

“You alright?”

“Are you?” he countered. 

“Ash… look, it’s late, and I’m pretty tired.”

“I’m not calling you for sex, Y/N.”

“Then what else are you calling me for this late?”

“Would you just let me in please? It’s freezing out here.”

“Are you…?” You made your way through your apartment to the door, twisting the lock and pulling it open. “What are you…?”

“So you sleep in my clothes now?” Ashton asked, in lieu of answering your own half-asked questions. 

“It’s comfortable…” you mumbled, crossing your arms over your chest, as he walked past you, and sat down on your couch.

“I’m not mad,” he said, as you shut the door and made your way to sit next to him. “I mean, it’s fine. I don’t care that you wear it. It uh… looks good on you that way.” As if to illustrate his point, his fingers ran over your bare thighs.

You shifted away from his touch, tucking your legs underneath you. “What do you want, Ash?” you asked, cutting straight to the point. 

“I honestly don’t know. Cuz it changes. Sometimes I want my friend back because I feel like I’m losing her, especially these past few days. And other days… I dunno.”

“You think you’re losing me?”

“I mean…” he shrugged. “I hope I’m wrong. But yeah. It feels like that sometimes.”

“Ash…” You reached out to cradle his face in your hands, your thumbs brushing across his cheekbones. “You’re not losing me.”

“But it feels that way.” His hands pulled yours away from his face, but continued to hold them tightly as your hands dropped in his lap. “What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing! You did nothing wrong.”

“Then why are you acting like something’s changed?”

“Because something has changed, Ash.”

“Well, tell me! Tell me what it is, and I’ll fix it.”

“It’s me, Ash. I’m the something that’s changed.”

“I- I don’t think I understand.”

“I love you, Ashton.”

“I love you, too.”

“No. I’m in love with you.”

“Okay, and what’s so wrong with that?”

“Because you’re not in love with me back! Because I did this to myself! I tried to keep my distance because the last time I fell for someone I got hurt! But I let you get close anyway, because you’re you! And now I’m falling, and dammit I don’t wanna get hurt again!”

“Shh,” he soothed, pulling you into him as hot tears spilled down your face and onto his shirt. “Shh, it’s alright, Y/N. Everything’s alright.”

“No it’s not!” you sobbed into his chest. “I don’t know what we are, Ash! Are we just friends who have sex sometimes? Is that all we get to be to each other?”

“Look at me,” he coaxed gently, his hands rubbing up and down your back. “God damn it, look at me,” he repeated more sternly when you didn’t, his hands guiding your face to look at him. “Remember how I said I thought I was losing you?” he asked, his thumbs brushing away the tears as they continued to roll.

You sniffed loudly as you nodded.

“It’s because I’m in love with you, too. I thought I was pushing too far, and that’s why you were pulling away.”

You shook your head. “N-no. I was pu-pulling away, cuz I’m sc-scared to be in love with y-you.”

“Oh, honey, you don’t have to be scared of that.”

“I d-don’t?”

He chuckled lightly, placing soft kisses along your hairline. “Of course not,” he murmured. “Because we’re friends first, which means I’m not going anywhere.”

“But we’re more than that, too?”

“So much more than that.”

“Ash? Will you stay with me tonight? And be here in the morning?”

“Of course, baby.”

__

Tag List

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[shall-we-imagine]

And I'll still love you. (Klaus Goldstein x Reader *AU*)

Sequel to Mess me up.

In which Klaus gets back with his ex.

Jk I'd never 😂👌🏻

Genre: Angst/some fluff?

A/N: This is long, and I mean long, so strap yourselves in I guess? CuZ iTs A lOnG aSs RiDe (A Mark Lee tribute 👌🏻)

Also guys we have a lil Cedric (from BIR) cameo here so um idk there's that ig 😂😂

(Second Person Point of View)

"Okay, one day left till finals; you guys know what that means!" Zeus smirks, though the only one that knew what that means was apparently Luca.

"This time; we're not getting kicked out of the VIP lounge." Luca points an accusing finger at Zeus.

"It's not my fault you lied about our identities without letting me know that I was a famous producer and not just a fucking college student!" Zeus growls.

The intense argument only grew louder from the two opposite sides of the table, isolating you and Klaus from the rest of the group in a strange way. Everyone knew to ignore when Luca and Zeus started arguing, so Amelia and Guy - on the other side of the table - were already having a separate conversation, leaving you and Klaus in an awkward silence (If you ignore the two yelling dorks, of course).

As frustrating as the awkwardness is, you'd already decided to ignore the blond ever since the incident, and no amount of awkward can change that.

It'd been around five days since you even looked him in the face, and he didn't seem to be planning to fix anything. Sure, he constantly looks uncomfortable, and you're sure he knows he fucked up, but that doesn't change his lack of attempts to even apologise properly.

"Hey, what's up, you guys?" Scarlett beams, sitting next to you. Elias, Yukiya, and Augustus take seats around the table as well. "Sigurd's still busy with some work at the library, but he'll be here soon." She announces.

"Anyway, this time we're not going into the VIP lounge; you can get kicked out alone if you want to, but I'd like to keep my dignity!" Zeus crosses his arms.

"Which club are we visiting anyway?" Luca looks around the table.

"None! We're supposed to be studying!" Klaus snaps, earning confused looks from everyone. Sure, it was a logical statement, but his sudden outburst left everyone at a loss of words.

"Don't be such a killjoy." Sigurd's voice is followed by a chuckle. He places himself in the empty seat between you and Klaus; however, you could still feel Klaus stare at you for a bit after it.

"He's right though. Finals start in like two days.." Yukiya states, to which Elias nods.

"Yeah, I need to revise." The younger blond agrees.

"It starts in a week for Amelia, Guy, Augustus, and I." Scarlett shrugs.

"Yeah, we're in." Guy grins.

"Sorry, guys, I don't think Yukiya and I will be joining; we still have stuff to study." Elias gives one of those polite frowns, where you know he's not disappointed about missing out on any of that. Knowing Elias, you can tell he's probably pleased to spend his day in a library instead of a club, and normally, you'd agree; you enjoy peace, and it's never too fun to be in crowded places.

However, you need to do something fun to get your mind off of Klaus. If he's gonna be a dick then so be it; you have to move on.

"I'm coming." You shrug. Part of you wanted to turn to check Klaus's reaction, but you stayed composed.

"What?!" He semi-shouts, but immediately clasps his hand over his mouth, clearly embarrassed by his accidentally loud reaction. He clears his throat, "I mean, you're in the same uni as these dumbasses and I; you start finals the day after tomorrow! What do you mean you'll go clubbing today? You should be studying!"

"What makes you think I have any studying left? I'm already done." You weren't gonna bring it up. You really weren't. Not in front of everyone too, but before you could think it through, you found yourself quoting him from that night. And it wasn't a lie either, you spent your days binge studying to keep your mind busy, so at this point, you really needed something else to keep you occupied.

Something flashes in his eyes, recognition maybe: you weren't sure, but either way, he stays silent. And perhaps you should've left it at that, but the built up anger inside you is now clawing its way out.

"Plus, even if I haven't finished studying; what is it to you?! Who even are you to object and involve yourself in my life?! Mind your own business!" He, once again, doesn't respond, but this time it wasn't because he was caught off guard. He just seemed slightly broken, but in the midst of the fury and anguish you felt, you couldn't care that much.

"Um, what's up with the weird tension between you guys?" Zeus lets out a nervous laugh. If Zeus was giving nervous laughs then it was definitely obvious to everyone how serious whatever is between you and Klaus.

"Haven't you two been ignoring each other a bit too? Like you guys used to be super close." Augustus points out.

Amelia's eyes meet yours, and she immediately gets the memo. "You guys are crazy; they're fine! They've always argued a lot; it's how they are! Can we focus on who's coming and who's not?" You give her a small smile, as to say thank you.

Scarlett catches on to the silent conversation between you and Amelia, immediately joining in. "Yeah, don't worry too much; we've seen it happen a lot! So, yeah, let's just focus on what's important here."

"Uh, sure." Zeus lets it go. Luca, Guy, and Augustus were smarter than that, unfortunately; they remained skeptic. Regardless, none of them make any further comments.

"I've also done my studying, so I'm good to go, as well." Sigurd shoots you a wink, earning a giggle in return. A genuine one, which you were thankful for. It made you relax a little after that rage you let loose on the blond jerk.

Klaus slams his fist on the table, "Fine. I'm coming too."

"Man, could you fucking chill; you're starting to sound scary. More so than normal." Luca complains but moves on to deciding the time and place to meet.

Your eyes drift to Klaus, who was already looking. You quickly look away, unsure why your heart suddenly leaped into your throat.

You avoided looking in his direction for the rest of the gathering.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

"You're not gonna tell me what's up with you and Klaus?" Scarlett glances at you before looking back at her own reflection and applying highlighter.

Amelia sticks her head out the bathroom door, one eye lined perfectly till the wing while the other was left with a random stray streak as if she rushed to the door at hearing Scarlett's statement, and in the process fucked over her left eye. Of course you know that's exactly what she did.

"Um, excuse you? I think you mean us??"

Scarlett sighs, "You're not gonna tell us what's up with you and Klaus?"

"Nothing." You apply your favourite lipstick, absolutely pleased it goes perfectly with your dress. At least one thing is going right here.

Scarlett frowns slightly, but doesn't push it.

"You're so full of shit." Amelia chuckles before pulling herself back inside.

You roll your eyes at her, but a small smile tugs at your lips.

"Who's picking us up?" You wonder.

Scarlett clears her throat. "Well, we initially asked Sigurd, I swear, but...well, um, Klaus insisted..."

"That's fine." You put on your best nonchalant expression.

As if he calculated exactly when to arrive, Klaus calls Amelia's phone the second you're done fixing your hair, aka the last step to getting ready. Excluding shoes, of course.

"Can someone pick up? My hands are busy!" Amelia yells from the bathroom.

You glance at Scarlett. Also still busy.

Not wanting to sound even more suspicious, you force yourself to pick up. "Hello?"

"He-..(Y/N)?"

You swallow awkwardly, "um, yeah, they're not done yet. Are you here? Like, um, to pick us up?"

"No, I'm here to hand you your mail, (Y/N)." You don't need to see him to know he's rolling his eyes.

"I meant are you here already?"

"Yeah."

Amelia sticks her head outside the bathroom again, this time with both eyes looking perfect. "Invite him up here." She smirks, wiggling her eyebrows. "Unless, of course, you have a problem with Klaus being in your apartment."

You throw a pillow, and it barely misses her face.

"Hey! That could've ruined my make up!" She yells but doesn't come back out again.

You considered inviting him like she said, but just the thought of it brought back too many unwelcomed memories. You blushed and immediately decided against it.

"Hello?"

"Oh, sorry, um, I'll just come down and keep your company till they're done, okay? Bye!" You hang up, leaving him no chance to reply. It was already awkward enough.

You slip your feet into your high heels, grab your purse, and head outside- not forgetting to remind the girls to lock the door before leaving.

If it were for you to decide, you'd let the jerk rot in his car as he waits for the three of you, but for the sake of letting things go smoothly, you decide it's for the best to try to make it seem like you don't wanna punch Klaus in the face.

Quickly enough, you spot his car. Also quickly enough, you notice the familiar fluffy, blonde curls you were so used to running your hands through. He looks as handsome as usual, but that hurt you in a different way this time. Sure, everytime you noticed how attracted to him you are, you'd be upset, solely because he's not yours to admire this way. However, today, it hurts you because everytime you look at these perfectly drawn features, a few written words come to mind.

He notices your presence but says nothing. He just stares at you with an unreadable expression.

Not wanting to look odd just standing in front of your building's door, you stiffly walk to his car as fast as you can without face planting into cement.

You take a back seat and say nothing.

Klaus lets out a slight, humourless laugh. "What's that? A back seat? You always call shotgun."

"Wasn't feeling it." You shrug and pull out your phone, using it as your own personal don't talk to me sign.

Unfortunately, Klaus doesn't care about any signs you're giving if it doesn't match his desires. "You look pretty, but with a dress like that, people will mistake you for a prostitute. Couldn't you wear something more revealing??" His voice dripped with irritation, an irritation you couldn't understand.

"Excuse me? My dress is fine; not everyone is a pervert, but you wouldn't know, would you?!" You clap back, not in the mood to let him take out his anger on you.

"Are you trying to call me a pervert?" He laughs in disbelief.

"I didn't say that, but, hey, if the shoe fits, feel free to wear it."

"That's what I get for trying to make sure no one hurts you?" He complains.

"Well, too bad you already did." You spat, tears blinding you momentarily. You hated yourself for letting this escape your lips, but it ended up silencing both of you for a few moments, allowing you to regain composure before the girls hop into the car.

"Uh, what's up with the weird vibe?" Amelia raises an eyebrow.

Scarlett sighs from the front seat, "I don't even know anymore."

Neither Klaus or you respond, so, naturally, the conversation died, leading to a rather quiet ride, excluding Scarlett and Amelia's countless attempts at making it less awkward.

"Finally! I felt like I'd suffocate inside from the tension!" Amelia stretches her arms happily once she leaves the car. It's safe to say...she wasn't the only one happy to exit the metal cage of awkward.

You meet up with the rest of the group before going inside, which wasn't all that helpful, since you lost each other fairly quickly.

Thankfully, Amelia and Scarlett were still with you, and finally, you were ready to block all thoughts of a certain blond and enjoy your life for the time being.

As planned, the three of you were already singing and dancing your hearts out after a few drinks, not a care in the world. You didn't have time to think about what Klaus is doing or how much of a dick he was to you.

Well, until a familiar guy approaches you. And perhaps Klaus shouldn't have been the one your mind drifted to, but that didn't stop you from letting the blond you'd ignored all year try to flirt with you for the billionth time.

"(Y/N)! Didn't think I'd see you here!" Cedric yells over the music.

You tried your best not to roll your eyes, "Yeah, me neither."

"Wanna dance?"

"I'm sure you can see I'm already danc-" both girls nudge you. "Sure. I'd love to dance." You force a smile, not skipping glaring at the girls before following Cedric a little further away from them. You weren't sure why he dragged you away, but you also couldn't care less; being near him was already annoying enough, so it really didn't matter.

The only reason you found yourself agreeing to this nonsense is that you know how much Klaus dislikes it when Cedric flirts with you. He always claimed that Cedric only cares about looks and that you should stay away from him, which normally you do. Mostly because you don't enjoy his personality, or the lack thereof.

However, something about being with the guy Klaus would most hate for you to be with just made you feel pleasure. It was like you wanted to piss him off, even though he really couldn't see you anyway, but you so desperately wish he would.

The dancing got really awkward really quickly. Cedric was already getting touchy, and he didn't seem to catch on to how uncomfortable you felt.

"Could you not fucking do that?!" You aggressively push his hand away from you.

He frowns, "Do what? We're just dancing together. You agreed to that."

"I didn't agree to you groping me though, did I?"

Before he could respond, your eyes drifted to Klaus, who was sitting at the bar. He'd just spotted you.

And maybe common sense would say to just ignore him.

But no.

You look Cedric in the eye, pull his face closer to you, and smash your lips together. You can tell he was confused but quickly recovered, using both hands to pull you closer to him by the waist.

This could've went on for longer if you weren't harshly yanked away from the blond.

"What's wrong with you?!" You try to pull your arm away from Klaus's grasp, but the furious male didn't budge. He didn't even respond; he just pulled you away.

"Klaus! Let go!" You try to wriggle your arm out of his grip. As annoyed as you acted, a huge part of you was extremely giddy. You can tell he's furious, and as sadistic as it sounds, it makes you happy. Your mind didn't seem to catch on to how awkward it would be next time you see Cedric; all it could focus on was that Klaus is jealous.

He only lets go of you outside the club; the sudden change of temperature causes your skin to tingle with goosebumps. You rub your arms to keep yourself warm.

"Bloody hell. I told you that dress wasn't a good idea." Aggressively, he marches to his car and opens the trunk. He pulls out a jacket and wraps it around you.

Blushing lightly, you clear your throat. "Um, thanks."

"I'm not done. What the fuck were you doing with Cedric, (Y/N)?!"

You roll your eyes. "Exactly what you saw."

He nods, letting out a humorless laugh. "Okay. Let me rephrase that: why the fuck were you kissing Cedric?"

Smirking, you poke his chest and whisper, "Because I wanted to."

He grips your hand, "No, (Y/N), you didn't. You hate that guy."

"Well, why does it matter? Why do you care?" You pull away.

He stares at you in silence for a few seconds. "Get in the car."

Not even waiting for a reply, Klaus walks over to the driver's seat.

"What?!"

"I said get in the car. Passenger's seat this time." He shuts the car door.

You snap out of your confusion when his engine roars, pestering you to get moving. You rush and follow his instructions of not sitting in the back seat.

"Where are we going?" You ask.

"You'll see." And with that, neither one of you spoke a word to the other.

***

"I'm not going for a swim with you, Klaus." The moment your gaze met the familiar lake, you were ready to bawl your eyes out, but you kept it together.

Leaving his seat, Klaus sighs. "Calm down. We're here to talk. Like we always do."

Leaving his jacket in the car, you take a deep breath and try to hold yourself together. You can't just break down now. You block away the memories of every other time you and Klaus came to this place.

You sit down on the grass but make sure to keep a distance between you and the male.

"Because it wasn't obvious enough that you're mad." He sighs.

"What do you want, Klaus?"

He looks away, "It's more about what I don't want...I don't want to lose you."

The butterflies went wild in your stomach, leaving you with a clear shade of pink on your cheeks. However, this isn't enough for you to move on and forgive him, so you do your best to keep a stern look.

"Why did you lie to me, Klaus? You don't have feelings for me, and...and I already knew, but part of me wanted to believe you, and you weren't making it very easy to reject you. You could tell I had a crush on you, and you decide to manipulate me into having sex with you?! And you have the guts to criticize Cedric? You're even worse!" Well, there goes your perfect make up. Perhaps raccoon eyes could be the new trend; you can totally pull that off.

His eyes glisten, and you almost want to take back everything, but you have to stand up for yourself. He can't just walk all over you like you're the old weelcome doormat some unknown person placed in front of your apartment door. Who the fuck misspells Welcome? Why the fuck would anyone buy that? Why place it in front of your apartment? Why haven't you thrown it away? All unimportant thoughts you'd rather talk about right now than have to deal with Klaus and this emotional mess.

"I didn't lie to you. And you went out of your way to kiss that douche bag, didn't you? You wanted me to see."

"Are you fucking kidding me, Klaus?! You're trying to make it sound like I'm wrong now?!" You push yourself off the ground, the blond immediately following.

"Listen, okay? This isn't what I meant! I just- I'm still being petty about it, alright? I wanted to punch him square in the face."

"Well, you have no right to be even mildly annoyed. Leave me alone." You start walking away, but he gets a hold of your arm.

"(Y/N), could you just let me explain myself, please?!" He snaps.

"No, Klaus, all you do is blame me; fuck off." You push him away. What you didn't prepare for is stumbling backwards towards the lake. High heels deciding to join The Klaus Movement of Being a Dick to (Y/N), you quickly find yourself falling off the edge.

Panic-filled eyes follow your movements. Klaus's reaction came late, and by the time he grabbed you, he was already falling into the freezing cold water with you.

Surrounded by fear of drowning, you involuntarily call out for Klaus.

"(Y/N)?! (Y/N)!" Klaus's nervous voice echoes around you, but in the middle of trying to stay afloat, you couldn't decide where he was.

So, naturally, he had to be the one to find you. His arms wrap around you, trying to pull you closer to him, but the way you kept flailing your arms wasn't helping him. "Hey, hey, (Y/N), it's fine."

Eventually he was able to snap you out of it and hold you close to his chest. "There, it's okay. You're safe with me. You know I'll always make sure nothing hurts you."

You'd begun to calm down, you'd begun to forget about the dumb note, about him manipulating you; you'd started relaxing in his embrace, but his last statement brought you back to real life. "Let me go, Klaus." You try to pry yourself away from him.

"(Y/N), you can't swim! What are you doing?!"

"Just let me go, Klaus! I'm fine!"

"Didn't seem like it when you started calling for me!"

"It was a mistake! Just let me be!" You begin pushing him away again.

"(Y/N), fucking stop! You'll hurt yourself!" He grips your wrist tightly.

"Fine!" You stop struggling. "Just take me to the edge."

He remains silent. "You're not gonna leave the second I put you back up on land, are you?"

"What? Of course I will! I can't stand looking at your face." You turn your face to the side.

"That so?"

You roll your eyes and begin facing him. "Ye-"

He forces his lips onto yours, leading you to push him away with all your force, this time allowing you to break free from his grasp and latching onto the edge.

Furious, you find extra energy to easily pull yourself up and onto the grass. Unfortunately, your strength was immediately gone after, and this is when you couldn't take any of it anymore. You lost it all.

"Why do you keep ruining my life? I never asked for this." You sob. "Tonight, all I wanted was to have fun and forget about you, but no, you had to ruin things for me again! Look at me! My hair, my make up, my dress, my whole fucking night is a mess! And it's because of you!" You point an accusing finger at him.

His head drops in shame, and he slowly climbs to the edge near you. You start to get up but stop when you hear his shaky voice.

"Wait! Please..." His voice cracks, "I won't touch you anymore. I will drive you home. Just please...please let me explain first; hear me out."

"Get it over with, Goldstein." You cross your arms. You were starting to feel cold again, but you made sure to not make it obvious this time.

"Listen; I didn't lie. I genuinely felt attracted to you; in fact, I have been for the longest time. It's just that I'd already accepted we were merely friends, and I had to move on, and I figured the only way to truly stop viewing you romantically is to commit to someone, so when I found someone I was remotely interested in, I took it as a chance, but then suddenly, everything was gone. I didn't have her; I didn't have you. I didn't have anything." He takes a shaky breath. "And...and I came to you for comfort, but before I knew it, I was trying to get you to do what you clearly didn't want to do. It was selfish; I know. And by morning, I felt disgusting. I knew you wouldn't wanna look me in the face, so I left. I wanted to apologize, but you continued to ignore me, and if I'm being honest, I was also scared to confront you."

"Klaus-"

"Just let me finish." He sighs. "I'm not trying to say I'm not wrong. I am. I just want you to know I would never intentionally hurt you; I was just confused. I was heartbroken; I still had feelings for you; you let me have my way with you. I never knew you were actually into me as well. And when you ignored me, I just wanted to do anything to get your attention. Even if it meant to piss you off...which I suppose you got back at me by getting with Cedric, but that's not the point. You're right I don't have the right to be mad over it. It's just- everything just ended terribly, and I know everything is a mess, but I promise you I never meant to hurt you."

"I don't want to lose you." He starts sobbing, but Klaus being his prideful self, he quickly does his best to hold back.

You shouldn't brush everything off. He was wrong, and he hurt you. But seeing him trembling like that, you couldn't stop yourself from taking him into your arms. "I forgive you." You mumble.

"You do?" He perks up, looking at you with wide eyes.

"Yeah...I understand. Feelings can be confusing at times." You shrug. "Also...you never forced me into something I didn't want to do...I thought you knew I liked you?"

"Me?" He furrows his eyebrows.

"Yeah? You literally said it?" You let out a confused laugh.

Klaus pulls away from you. "When did I ever say that?"

"You were drunk; you said you knew I like you."

"Oh...that's just something I say...to everyone...when I'm drunk..." He rubs his temples in embarrassment.

You laugh. "Well, it's not like you're any less narcissistic when not drunk anyway."

"Hey! Watch it! I could still push you back into the water!"

"Shut up. You literally freaked the hell out when I fell the first time." You get off the grass.

He follows. "Not true."

"Yes true."

"Nope."

"Yup."

Well, maybe two stubborn people shouldn't be friends because this went on for a while. You were glad, however, that the tension between you guys was gone, and you two were back to normal again.

"Wanna go back to my apartment this time?" Klaus smirks before quickly adding, "Promise you won't be waking up to any notes this time...?"

Your face heats up. He was still recovering from a break up. This was still a bad idea. You should just decline and take things slow.

"Sure."

[praphit]

Shazam: It's good to be dysfunctional.

　 Shazam!

First I'd like to say that "Shazam!" has been my catch phrase for as long as I can remember. I think that was actually my first word as a baby. It's a perfect word to use when you're excited about something that someone has said, but you don't really want to commit to anything. Like I said, I say it all of the time, but that doesn't mean I'm coming to that party, or going on that date, or agreeing to bust you out of jail. I love this word! I've got to look into getting some money due to DC stealing my catch phrase, but in the meantime, let's talk about SHAZAM! - the movie.

There's no good way to say it - DC has been effing up lately. BUT, I think this has been due to DC trying to be like Marvel. They were doing fine until they started building a "universe". But, I figured it out - Marvel is like that well off, well put together family. They all help cook and clean, they all say their prayers, they recycle, they've got a swear jar that's almost empty... of course they have their problems, but they have enough money to fix them or hide them. DC is the dyfunctional family.

First off, they've got a sitch where they have two dads (Supe & Bats) and a mommy (WW). But, the dads are much more into one another than they are the mommy. Eventually, the two dads ran off (maybe with one another who knows??), and mommy decided she doesn't need anyone else's help, so she's doing her own thing. Uncle Aquaman checks in once in a while when he's sober... and don't get me started on the cousins.

DC is dyfunctional, but that's ok! I feel like they're starting to believe that that's ok as well. Shazam came on the scene and said, "Come here you lil neglected DC kids, let me tell you my story." He understands them, cuz one of the things you'll learn about Shazam is that he was abandoned as a child and became an orphan. He later on met an old wizard (btw - Djimon Hounsou sighting).

Now this wizard has a special mission - he kidnaps... they may be too strong... he... transports kids and leads them to his lair, where he puts them through a test of purity. If they fail he kicks them out after telling them they aint's shit. But, if they pass, they get the opportunity to grab his staff and receive his power. How about those options?? The odd thing about this test (well, ONE odd thing) is the test is a matter of temptation to grab an orb from seven demons (named after the seven deadly sins). Now, it's not as if these demons are appearing as ... Idk, the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders

(then we've got some challenge)

- no, they look more like this -

Yeah... any child who fails this test deserves whatever is coming to them. And this pic doesn't even do the movie demons justice.

Anyway, Shazam passed (kinda - it was more like the Wiz ran out of time)! (at age 14) - and fortunately nothing creepy happened to him; instead now whenever he says the name "SHAZAM!" he pretty much becomes Superman meets Rayden from Mortal Kombat.

This movie is all about this boy (Billy Batson) randomly becoming a super powered MAN, and trying to figure out his powers, what a hero should be, and picking a cool name. There's also some "real talk" stuff going on with the topic of foster parents/kids and a mom that abandoned him when he was a small child (not Wonder Woman... I don't think). But, the movie stays on the comedy path for the most part. I laughed a lot in this movie. Like I said, Shazam is mainly here for laughs and fun. He's like "You've got enough of doom and gloom from the rest of the DC universe".

This film is more on the family friendly side... although the super villain IS possessed by those seven demons I mentioned earlier, so if you think about that (the names of these demons), it's slightly darker than you might think, but the movie doesn't focus on that too much. There is a strip club in here as well. WE (the audience) don't see anything, but the kids do a few times - it's used as a device to crack some jokes at the club's expense. I guess if you happen to be a stripper you may take offense. It's called "The Booty Trap". and I'm sure the ladies who work there are lovely:)

I don't have too may issues with this movie, honestly (though I'm not a stripper). I will say that it's a lil long; just a lil. And Shazam (though Zachary Levi does a great job!) is kinda one note. BUT, he's 14! What 14 year has any depth? Not like Batman, who instead of going to therapy when his parents were killed, decided to spend his life beating the holy snot out of people every night. That makes one complex. Or Wonder Woman living on Woman on Woman Island (don't make that face - it was an island of only women - either they were all abstinent or... you know.) Plus, that golden lasso... imagine the truths she has heard, especially when coming to our world -

WW - "Golden Lasso, do your work! Make them tell me the truth!"

"Wonder Woman, I cheated on my wife!"

"Wonder Woman, your ass is too fat for that costume!"

 "Wonder Woman, I killed them all! And then ate them... and I'll do it again... delicious."

"Wonder Woman, I hate brown people and women!"

She'd be like "Mr. Trump, I haven't even lassoed you yet."

Point being, that's a lot to absorb  - a lot of complexity. Shazam doesn't have that (yet). But, for the most part, that's a good thing. It's a refreshing break from all the dark stuff.

I guess one could complain about body image stuff. When he says "Shazam" he turns into a muscle freak. Later in the film, there are more kids-to-super-powered-adults who fight. The men all turn super-muscled, and the ladies... fit, but... idk. It'd be funny if a girl shouted the words and turned into one with a body like Chyna (RIP)

, and a boy did so and turned into one with the body of Danny Devito:)

I don't particularly care, I'm just sayin... again the point is to sit back and have fun with this movie. And it def accomplishes that.

Grade: A

Another thing, this movie doesn't care about Batman and Superman running off. They're like screw'em! We don't need them. And after watching this film and seeing what's down the pike for DC, maybe they're right.

[finsterhund]

This con is big but not too nice.

I like the accessible washroom of the building

I like how spaced the artist tables are. But geez.

Artists are upset about the crappy wooden tables, people are talking about the artists who got banned for complaining about getting scammed out of their second table.

The artists here are great though. I wish the con cared more about them. Lots of people I know here. Many I already commissioned. I'm not going to get a second commission from someone if I haven't scanned and uploaded the one I got from them previously. Doesn't seem right.

I commissioned an artist who it was their first con, and I have an artist I want to commission online later.

I had to pay extra money for the sky train to refill my card. Would have been nice if the one lording it over us about having a car would actually have helped us today with said car but I think maybe we need to give those poor cyclists a break (okay, maybe I'm being a bit too petty with this now)

The pain medicine keeps me feeling okay. I love cosplaying as Andy again. Maybe in the winter months I'll get new converse so they're not hurting my legs and back. I need them up one size that's a big reason why cosplaying as Andy hurts.

I wish I wasn't so hot I hate sweating. I wish I was healthy and that I could finally finish my cosplay. Someday. I finally get to see a specialist soon. Hoping that puts me on the road to finally having normalcy and a body that at least tries to work properly.

My friend reminded me that we first made my cosplay when I was still ten pounds underweight so the fact that my shorts are tighter on me than usual shouldn't be too unexpected. My back flaring up definitely contributes to it too. I think a big chunk of me thinking I'm an ugly lump is not because of things like diet and more just my body being the unfortunate way it is. Thanks to bad genetics and scar tissue I'm bottom-heavy and no amount of fixing my diet is going to change that. I'm the Danny Devito of Andys. But admittedly the bad situation of July likely made it more noticable. I hate being a thicc boy. I meme about being the designated "fat kid who dies first" but I'm actually sensitive about it.

For how expensive it is to buy a single pass and a falling apart table here, this con has no internet for artists. But that's consistent. Was that way the last few years too. Funny how the cons that cost less and come with the right number of badges and a clean table also have free internet for the artist alley.

To be honest as much as I love all the artists and attendees here and being more likely to be recognized as Andy I really do not like this con.

The art of Andy I got from the first convention attendee artist is very cute. Crisp black and white inks so it'll scan well and I can't wait to share. But no internet!

There's an artist who does custom buttons but they're unlike any buttons I've ever seen. They are wrapped in an acrylic casing instead of punched around a metal piece. I want to get an Andy button from them. That reminds me I haven't scanned any of my custom Andy buttons.

Someone offered the take a photo of me against a banner but I didn't feel good enough. I probably should have taken them up on the offer but I just felt yuck.

The only video game sellers did not have PS1 games which actually angered me lmao.

Sales aren't good I think.

I'm sweating real bad. So glad I got a bath last night and brought my deodorant. Good god. Where's the AC? It's days like these I wish Andy ran around the Darkland barefoot so I could get out of wearing socks. I expell so much heat through my feet and hands I don't want to eat my chocolate snacks I brought for fear they will melt all over my fingers.

I went outside to bring my friend back a coffee (I can do this all by myself because of how close it is hurray!) But as soon as I went back in I started to sweat again.

I found a friend lined up in front of the ATM. We talked. It was nice to see them again. I found another friend elsewhere and also the first friend came around later. Was fun.

WHY DOES NO ONE KNOW HOW TO USE DEODERANT? I WANT TO DIE. I have had to walk behind people who smell like absolute death and it's made me feel really gross. Here I am concerned about a little sweat and there's people who you'd think are UNDEAD because of how the scent of ?????? trails behind them for like ten feet. You can smell when they pass behind you. I want to throw up.

I got some more art. The Andy button I was interested in, found someone else to commission something digital. The Andy button is AMAZING. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. it's hard to clip it closed but it's so cool and it opens so I can scan the art inside.

I got stickers from my friends I wanted to get, and a secret gift for Fishy made by my friend Sam. I intend to make a care box (is that the word?) cuz I know your birthday is coming up this month.

My stickers already got scuffed on my new folder so I'm sad. I hate being a bumbler who bumps things.

There was an artist who drew dogs but I couldn't find them again :(

I think I made a new friend. He is super cool and does panels at vancoufur. His fursona also wears a bandanna.

I feel a lot better about pain medicine. My friend says I could be able to take it every day and I just need to be careful not to take too much. I know people like me run the risk of becoming immune to them and having a sick liver but he says as long as I don't take too many it's fine.

Is this why I'm so miserable all the damn time!?

Legit what if that's the problem?

So I'm feeling pretty good about that. You guys might see a brand new Finsterhund. I'm so excited to have energy and feel comfy again. I was raised with fear mongering of "only using pain medicine when it was worse than usual. Because it'd kill you." But all that is untrue and I've been suffering needlessly this whole time.

So yeah. Now I'm going to start taking them bi daily. As well as the ones to help me sleep.

Genuinely feeling good about this. Andy cosplaying! Pain relief! It's all here! Things finally looking up for lil ol me.

I'm budgeting this con better too. Half of that is because I'm getting lost and can't find artists i wanted to commission again but that's a side effect of my worsening memory. I want to get a small ocarana but I might not be able to afford it by the end. It'd be nice to play Andy's Mission on. That way it won't annoy my friend like a kazoo would. Even though he said my kazoo is fine and he wouldn't have given it to me if it wasn't.

There's more artists I wish I could commission but I'm trying to be careful.

I was very hungry and they had hotdog rollers right outside the con and I really wanted one and they were SIX DOLLARS AND FIFTY CENTS. That's awful. But I got one because I was so hungry. It tasted good at least.

There's an hour and a half left of the day. I don't know what we will do after. I don't want to socialize except with my friends and if I go to bed early I'll be up at 4AM again.

There's now a little under an hour left and I'm tired. Wanting to go back to the hotel room and relax. I'm disappointed in myself for buying the expensive hotdog.

Whisky has been shedding since I brushed him and part of me is all AAAAAAAAAA but the other part is all "this would definitely have been canon."

My friend left his table under my care for the last twenty minutes of the day and I'm kinda anxious. I'm scared that ex roommate "took revenge" on my stuff back at the hotel room. He's never done stuff like that before, but he has threatened to. I also have that sense of emptyness inside that I get sometimes. The one where you just feel bad, no reason to, just emotionally hurt.

[werewolfwilds]

i redid an ask meme that i had originally done ~3 years ago to see the comparison so for archiving purposes im putting it in a lil journal entry here ! i wanna start doing small journal entries again it was fun when i did that

new answers bolded

1) what images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?

my desktop bg is literally just…. a collage of kageyama manga screencaps a h a,,,, and my cellphone bg are drawings some gay drew me like 74724 years ago :v // my desktop rn is actually a background from one of the dmmd routes LMFAO..... idk which one it is but i’ve always liked those bg pics!! my cell lock screen is p5 art and my bg is leopika

2) have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

nooooope // nah

3) what was your last text message?

my phone is dead so i wouldnt be able to tell you lmfao i dont even remember // it was a gif from kelly lol

4) what do you see yourself doing in 10 years?

hopefully working a job i enjoy and making costumes and being happy!! // god i have no idea and it freaks me out... hopefully working,,

5) if you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?

hoommee ((or at katsucon tbh)) // at the beach with friends maybe

6) what was your coolest halloween costume?

a white cat probably lmao // i dont think ive ever had a particularly exciting halloween costume but one year i was sharpay from high school musical and i think i peaked then tbh

7) what was your favorite 90s show?

uhhhh….. i didnt really… start watching tv until like… the 2000′s so i really cant tell you man lol // spongebob started in 1999 does that coUNT,

8) who was your last kiss?

(answer redacted) // :/ someone should kiss me so i can change this answer lmao

9) have you ever been stood up?

nope //  nah

10) favorite ice cream flavor?

vanilla w/ vanilla oreos ok u need to underst a n d // this hasn’t changed i haven’t had this particular ice cream in a long time but i still stand by it

11) have you been to las vegas?

nahh // nope

12) your favorite pair of shoes?

idk i have these black ones i wear everywhere lol // i have a pair of white sneakers that i refuse to stop wearing now

13) honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?

i wouldnt even consider it. // no bc i’m not a piece of shit lmao?

14) what is your favorite fruit?

hmmm…. pineapple orrr…. strawberries but only if they’re the really good kind like they have to be perfect // pineapple!!

15) have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself  dating/having sex with? if possible?

….. ye s… yes. // in the past apparently so but thinking about it now nah lol

16) are you into hookups? short or long term relationships?

hookups arent my thing eh i prefer long term relationships altho i cant really say ive been in a “long” term relationship pffff // i don’t think hookups will ever be my thing, emotionally long term relationships are what i’m here for but i’m also a Very Impulsive Person so i cant tell you if this will stay a fact :’)

17) do you smoke? if so, what?

nope dont wanna // no thanks

18) what do you do to get over your anger?

usually talk to people or shout into word // i have to vent about it to someone probably a thousand times even months or years after it happens tbh

19) do you believe in god?

nahh // nah

20) does the person you’re in love with know it?

i aint in love with anyone rn so no? // i’m not in love with anyone.

21) favorite position?

………….. for w hat………. // oh honey lmfao... N/A

22) what’s your horoscope sign?

virgo/ox ovob // Virgo/sun, Aries/moon, Libra/rising and Cancer/midheaven

23) your fears?

literally everything i already named a few so ill name some others… ghh anything in… the ocean or lakes and stuff frightens me and i really dont know why bu tlike…. fish and crabs and jellyfish and seaweed cuz it’s evil and stu f f basically anything that’s not a mammal or turtles or penguins…. lo l im a baby // uncertainty is a big fear of mine and also people being mad at me lmao... as far as physical fears though i have debilitating fears of almost all insects/arachnids and lobsters/shrimp/crawfish :^)))))

24) how many pets do you have? what kind?

two cats and a dog!! // one cat one dog

25) what never fails to turn you on?

i dunno,,/////// // lol neck biting/kissing oof

26) your idea of a perfect first date?

im okay with mostly anything i just really like spending time with the person ; v ; // i’ve never really had an answer for this? thinking about dates has always made me so anxious for whatever reason but i’ll be happy to just spend time with them doing whatever honestly, i’m a super indecisive person aha

27) what is something most people don’t know about you?

i dont really know tbh lmfao // i’ve considered in the past looking into mental conditions (anxiety/bpd/etc) to see if i might have one or two but i never want to say anything about it because i don’t want to self-diagnose anything.

28) what makes you feel the happiest?

nice weather and nice conversations w/ best people u//v//u // nice weather and hanging out with people who are fun and easy to talk to

29) what store do you shop at most often?

does….. arda wigs count or… // does arda wigs still count bc mood lmao but truthfully now it’s probably target

30) how do you feel about oral? giving and/or receiving?

kkdkjsfkjkjfj??fsfj/// go for i t??? i have no problems with i t??? i dont think ill ever be willing to put a dick in my mouth though // these random sexual questions thrown in here are something aren’t they lmao. not going to disclose much but i will stand by the fact that i will not put a dick in my mouth lo l

31) do you believe in karma?

sometimes ye // i believe that people will eventually get what’s coming to them but i don’t believe in karma as a solid concept if that makes sense? like i don’t think it’s guaranteed

32) are you single?

yup yup // yeah it’s been wild lmao

33) do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?

i think being sincere is the best way to apologize– if you truly mean it the person will know. you dont need to buy your forgiveness. // the best way to apologize is just to apologize sincerely and change your behavior if it’s applicable.

34) are you a good swimmer?

ehh??? im ok i guess– i took swimming lessons as a kid but i havent done legit swimming ever since then lmao,, ive always been best at the backstroke tho yea // i mean i have the ability to swim but i’m not olympic-worthy or anything lmao

35) coffee or tea?

ehhh im not big on either tbh // chocolate milk and you can fight me

36) online shopping or shopping in person?

depends what your shopping for i guess?? online is more relaxed i guess // online probably because shopping in person Gives Me Anxiety

37) would you rather be older or younger than your current age?

ehhh im happy where i am tbh // older

38) cats or dogs?

do not make me choose // cats and dogs* there i fixed it for you

39) are you a competitive person?

ahaa,,,,, oh god yeah,, // OOF yeah

40) do you believe in aliens?

i believe there’s life on other planets somewhere?? so i guess?? // i believe in aliens in the sense that there’s no way we are the only living life forms in the universe but not in the science-fiction way you feel me

41) do you like dancing?

i do but i suck at it lmao // i do but i: A- suck, and B- have no stamina

42) what kind of music to you listen to?

nearly everything tbh // i’m not picky when it comes to music but imma be real w u. almost all of the music on my phone is kpop. seventeen is my favorite group along with astro, and i also enjoy super junior, shinee, red velvet, etc among so many others,,, im pretty wide spread !

43) what is your favorite cartoon character?

i will never be able to pick just one // i’ll literally never be able to answer this

44) where are you from?

philadelphia uvu // philly!

45) eat at home or eat out?

hmmm at home. // at home

46) how much more social are you when you’re drunk?

i never plan on being drunk tyvm // i’ve never consumed alcohol in my life and to be Quite Fucking Honest i want nothing to do with it

47) what was the last thing you bought for yourself?

bracelets ! ; u ; // uh... excluding food and music... earrings i think

48) why do you think your followers follow you?

uhhhhhhh lmfao i have no idea i think… a good amount are for my cosplays at least?? or id like to think so lmfao but i really dont know pfft // my followers have just accumulated and hung around over the years... i know i gained a good amount from my snk days as arlert-the-troops and then through my haikyuu phase, whether it was for my cosplay or other posts that i made... whenever someone follows me now im not entirely sure what its for but i appreciate everyone who’s stuck around!

49) how many hours do you sleep at night?

it’s never regular man // 6-9 (lol) hours is pretty normal for me

50) what worries you most about the future?

everything tbh // the future as a concept worries me lol

[alukaforyou]

on this week’s episode of yakuzaifying my hw,,,

alright alright last weeks class was kinda on foreshortening?? and how to overlap body parts / exaggerating size w perspective to make a more “dynamic” pic lol did u mean: things i cannot do anyways he gave a short lecture and we did some quick drawings,, i actually had a bunch i liked (cuz we had a fem model and i find fem bodies easier to draw than male bodies aa) but i couldnt rly construct a good scene w any of the individual poses??? wtf

just did another knife fight lmfao but hoooo boi get a load of this like do u see how the person in the foreground is kind of up upwards view while majima unnie is a straight on to slightly downwards view aowdmopefsrg LMFAO ok but i couldnt get it to work so oops also the actual poses were wayy less distorted but since our class was on exaggeration i thought i might as well go and try incorporating that?? lmao big mistakey idk im super noob at anything dynamic so i just kind of?? tried my best but shit does that look wonky LOL like not terrible but idk just a lil weird, like the more i look, the more off it seems but i also am unsure what to fix artist problems amirite¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

but then again im not like super bothered by it?? whack perspective is cool and all i’d love to be able to do it properly but this is fine im more concerned w other things atm aa plus araki isnt super strict w his characters being on same views either lol like

bruno is a downshot while jolyne is almost straight on? but the whole thing works araki is just powering through w his crazy beautiful style lol plus the characters look kinda like theyre floating? its surreal n looks nice u_u

the most recent manga i’ve looked at is bnha and i remember rly liking some of horikoshi’s dynamic panels, like this is my fave one

aw yeee look at that hand, that tilted head oooo looks soo good~~~~ goals af

ok anyways remember how i like girls? well i also like majima so combine to get majima unnie and wow i am gay she’d still have the undercut and wowowow big lov undercuts look sooo good on girls tbh 11/10 a Look. also i was taking w a few friends abt this but would majima unnie have a shirt, crop top, bra/bralette, or bandages??? i've seen all of the above and tried all 3 but honestly, the bandages looked the best even tho im not a huge fan that kinda thing.... its like super dangerous to bind w those (or tape yikes) so nonono me no likey but aesthetically? looks cool... edgy.. maybe u could just not?? wrap it too tightly???????? (but wat if they come off haha) also who tf has time to wrap bandages anywhere every day???? related: i also am unsure y some furyo / delinquents(?) / yankees in animanga have bandages on their waist??????? u kno wat im walking abt?

(source) like that looks heckin cool but whats it for????????? back support? @_@ also speaking of majima unnie have u seen https://twitter.com/koshimoro/status/762137827077459968 wow.... that crop jacket is too good... and the black suit + wine shirt? iconic.

like y does that back tat look so good on her??? tbt 2011 when i watched warrior baek dong soo holy shit the girl w the map on her back? 13 y/o me was gay for her w.o even knowing it

hanbok + cute girl + back tat = god tier aes

ok those 2 pink ones were what i based my hw on u can see i took hella artistic liberty loool (like changing the whole arm on the far right pose,, it looked like she was dabbing;;;)

anyways ya idk have i ever drawn one good thing in my life haha at least its kinda fun if i force it to be ykz as usual im gonna have a stroke once i have to actually show it to the class yeesh >_<;;; i think i’ll maybe collect a few more assignments before posting them full size in bulk?? (aaa i still have to fix last week’s one... i liked the ballet au... makoto looked like a princes.. that majima however? big yike L OL)

[pokefanbri]

Im still fucking fighting, i keep telling myself im not gonna let go & Fuck everyone else who thinks I should. But sometimes there's the opposite, im just lost & idk what to do....hes not gonna come back...so why should I bother to keep fighting 😔 If someone asks me...

Are they worth it? Absolutely. Because theres always room for improvement & growth, & we've been doing that apart for ourselves now for 7months. Did they give u the respect and attention u deserved? Are we not more valuable than that? Hell no & hell yes lol. Look I was happy just doing that for him but yea when it came to me honestly it was like nah im good 😒 & i know how fucked up it is that id go along with his selfishness but I did. I did deserve better & he knows I did... i just didnt wanna lose him & did anything he needed me for... but I ended up losing him anyway 😔 theres a reason why u work on that kinda shit & grow together as you go so everyone is happy, its fair to say we both lost sight...I was eager to learn everything about him cuz I wanted to be closer...but I was blocked out & pushed away, he wouldn't open up & talk to me or show feelings for anything, even of me when he used to all the time...like he was scared of being too attached or didnt want to get hurt..he didnt trust me or was afraid to show his true self or show any emotion that'd be viewed as weak due to the typical be a man complex. Idk I was confused & didnt know what was needed to help fix things so yea i walked on eggshells & me showing affection of my own free will was out of the question most of the time...I couldn't touch him unless he wanted me to & rare occurrences for my own satisfaction. Its the reason why I cried all the damn time, I felt avoided & unwanted because my own attention lacked pretty badly. How tf do I love a fucknugget bobblehead like that lmao, cuz I dont give 2 flying fucks he was my man ok! & being close enough to him made me happy enough I guess, I still looked at him like he was my world even if I wanted to slap him for making me feel so lonely at the same time. I admit his needs came b4 mine, he liked it more that way & I took care of him more than I did myself. But if he had more effort to take care of my needs in turn & I were happier than I was, & us happy at the same time, then maybe I wouldn't be so hard on myself...cry all the time & smoke like a chimney 🙁

I still don't fully understand why he held back, communicating with me on a deeper level is supposed to be natural & pretty much all normal couples show an appropriate amount of affection & understanding to eachother....but it was kept burried...was he afraid id hate him, judge him, make fun? No, id love him even more! Idc how dark he may think he is or whatever past bs he's gone through or even if he was lying about anything...its okay it can't hurt u anymore dear & we can overcome it just tell me what it is thats lacking & let's fix this. Id say "sit down babe, tell me everything, whats on your mind, what can I do to help 😊" & id give him the most gentle kiss on the forehead. I'd do anything to see a smile from that face & it makes me smile too. I want to help him, he needs somebody to hold just as much as I do cuz the fact of the matter is babe, he's just as broken as I am, we both need someone to put back our pieces & become whole again...after we try doing it solo it can only go so far b4 u want that physical presence of another again to help u more so. He keeps everything bottled up & especially didnt let me see what was happening to him I had no clue, if he didnt like talking to anyone he at least had me but still kept me away from him, whatever it was festered in him & he changed his whole demeanor toward me, he became colder & shut me out for good 😔 Making me feel even more unwanted. We didnt help eachother through our problems & I really wanted to, I wanted to save us for the longest time way b4 the end. Idk maybe if he put in as much effort & we knew how to function better together instead of a Corolla with just 2 wheels then we'd probably be fine...& our suspension wouldn't be dragging on the asphalt 😂 Its not all on him for fault, I take equal amount of responsibility, we failed eachother, we didn't know wtf we were doing & 9/10 it was just friends with benefits with only 1 of us in love & attached, & the other not really caring with side pieces to chat with 🤷‍♀️

U know what 🤬 They're right, he's right, & now I'm actually starting to accept it the more I write. Maybe just maybe,HE DOESN'T DESERVE ME AT ALL. Im still upset and frustrated. To answer the question again from earlier no maybe he's not worth it. I suffered through his bs and 10fold heartbreak afterward!! If he can't own up, right his wrongs & bring us both peace then no he's not worth suffering for afterall, and ive been loving the wrong soul this whole damn time 😣 He kicked me to the curb cuz he a fucking coward! He cant admit his wrongdoings, ask for forgiveness, say im sorry or actually put the tiniest bit of effort into a relationship to make it work, but instead disposes of me so he wouldn't have to confront any of it & just continue on like nothing happened are fucking kidding me!!?? I thought u were smarter than this, its beneath you to just run away & pretend I never mattered to you when we both know I did!!!....& im crying again. Im still feeling the betrayal apparently, ill never be able to trust him fully again anyway, let alone other men now. I dont hate you, I love you very much. But I hate the evil from you that you've shown me. I should've known honestly, I was naive to see all types of disrespect but this was the worst part. I still love him but i do deserve better than that & I hope he's changed his ways. Trust a guy with a high track record of ladies & a handful of em in their hand..what u think 🤔 can trust be gained back? Can I get over the bad uncalled for lying shit he's said about me to other women to make himself look better? Idk 🤷‍♀️ I haven't been able to rest without closure for so long, but enough is enough im making my own. You're absolutely right, you'd just manipulate me further, I thought maybe we could be better than before...round 2 at some point in the future...but maybe we're not salvageable after all. Thats up to u, I did everything I could, but now if u were to ever come back idk if I'd jump into your arms or slam the door in your face, I just dont know. Its better that I try never speaking of u again, or think of you for as long as I can so that I can heal better....cuz loving you even after the fact is tearing me apart & making me lose focus on what matters more, myself. I fought valiantly as long as I could, 7 months is a long time to not shut up about u lol.. maybe you've been hearing me I wouldn't know. I have to force it or ill never be able to, ill still silently grieve but as much as it hurts, Its time. U were my rock, an asshole but a good one, the best gamer I got to know, a boss at alot of things, with the cutest lil butt, & somehow the love of my life. Other than maybe something valentines or anniv related in Feb ofcourse....Ur getting what u wanted, I have to do whats best for me now, I have to let u go. I held on for so long but Im really tired & emotionally drained, im just torturing myself when i need to stop, im defeated, nobody won anything, everyone got hurt in 2020 why should our relationship be any different, id say we gave it our all be we both know we didnt. This hurts me so much to do, like my heart is breaking again. Bye babe, I love you with all my heart. 💋💞 💟

I tried to do what I could but if he left, I just gotta try to move on. If I take him back, I gotta consider how that's gonna look like & if I really got past the damage he did....obviously theres some I still haven't 😔 Its what im telling myself while trying to move past this. Others going through the same...We're in love and they ain't. We can't control their actions but we can control our actions. Im not a toxic person..only to myself, I love with all my heart, nobody bothers to understand...they just judge

[asil-norahc]

Just an idea popped out from Drawpile

Warning: I might make a lot of mistakes in this post bc why not so this is it. Oh, plus harsh language too (as usual i guess).

Okay okay, so, I was drawing on drawpile with peeps and something HAPPENED (greatest introduction ever)

see, on drawpile I draw HorrorSans like that (cartoon character and Croc -bloody bird guy- by @peanutable):

and LustSans this way (plus Pap cuz why not, although I changed his clothing so it isn’t very representative of the original):

And I somehow mixed them up at some point...

May I introduce you to... GoreSans!!!

Let me explain you what he would be if I happened to make an AU around the thing. Well, I DON’T intend to do many things about it so I wouldn’t call it an AU but since I can’t let a character like him with no proper environment to set him in I can’t let you without developping the idea a bit further.

It’s basically a coherent and logical mix between Underlust and Horrortale.

Now those who know what I’m talking about will think I consider them like dumbass, but I’ll develop the idea anyway and that needs a quick reminder of what those two AUs are (don’t blame me for my unecessary rigor):

Underlust. Well, I’d davise you to go check UnderLust Shame Cave, unless you’re under 18 and/or allergic to NSFW. WOW STOP ASKING YOURSELF I won’t make anything NSFW here don’t worry. I’ll try my best to soften everything for it to be accessible to anyone who might be reading this. If you feel offended despite my efforts, say it (politely) in the ask box and I’ll change the tags^^

Now I haven’t read UnderLust very much and I don’t know what occured since a long time, but here’s a quick summary of what I know :

First, it may be NSFW, but the comic has real depht and emotions. There are reasons to WHY THE FUCK EVERYONE FUCKS and that makes this AU completely acceptable to me. Now, the reasons are Gaster and the decrease of fertility due to... well, imprisonment in the underground and chronic lack of hope I guess. Gaster intended to fix the fertility problem by extracting the Lust from the soul of the first human, Chara, who was a... sort of... sadistic bitch? Anyways. Injecting the Lust into (adult) monsters had two consequences: relatively NOT FIX the fertility problem making the children the last ganaration, and turn any adult monster into a slut.

Yeah that definitely legimimates the NSFW for me. Not that it needs any legitimation anyway XD because the comic that came (pun?) out of it is about true love VS lust, sexual identity, abuse and all the emotional mess that comes out of it (hehe da inententional pun lol). So it is surpisingly interesting and kinda moving.

Horrortale. This AU is particular because it is settled in the FUTURE of one of the neutral run. Now, any sensible undertale player WOULDN’T want to have to face the consequences of any run that didn’t ended peacefully, would they?... uh, guess I would at some point...

Anyways, that makes the Horrortale AU really interesting because it just puts some canon facts together and think of how it would evolve with time.

Let’s observe some of said facts:

Toriel attempting to legally take the power and ease everyone’s pain with peace.

Oh! Your acts have consequences!^^ Peace isn’t an option now.

Putsch.

Crusader, surely future tyran.

Sans and Papyrus tempering the current crusader future tyran.

Bros will be bros.

... Click! (Am I the only one that saw a sort of threat in his last word..?)

SO Undyne putsched Toriel out (it’s definitely a coup since Undyne is the equivalent of the General of the Army) and now rules over the Underground with an iron fist in order to develop drastically the army for her to wage a holy war against humanity, implying she will do everything for her army to be well fed above citizens. Mh.

If she’s not going to become a tyran, I dunno.

Now I’m leaving canon facts to start about horror tale context:

To summary, the underground has turned into a sort of dystopic HELL OF A BLOODY MESS since the common monsters who didn’t contributed to Undyne’s army were left starving and had to rely on the only edible things they had on hand: other monsters.

Now feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but as far as I can remember, this is what turned monsters into... well, dangerous monsters.

SO, now, what would a mix between the two look like? Let’s finally talk about GoreTale!! (okay well I said I wouldn’t make an AU, BUT if this can inspire anyone to develop it into a proper one THAT’D BE FUCKIN COOL OMFG)

So it is set in the future of one particular run of UnderLust if this AU were to be adapted into an Undertale-like video game; Asgore is dead and the other souls disappeared, leaving the monsters behind with grief and despare. At least one monster has been killed by Frisk so that Undyne, Head of the Royal Harem (this is how it is in underlust DON’T ASK ME) decides to rule over the underground with fierce will to destroy all human kind. Because she knows nothing else, she turns the underground into a bloody brothel since she considers people had to surrender their mind, soul AND bodies to her royal persona and cause, plus she being blood thirsty after human’s decay, she does it overly sadistical and strong. Sans tried to temper her at first since his brother was now part of the official Royal Harem and feared for his safety, but she slowly became unreasonable. A bloody tyran, unrelenting and craving for physical and mental/moral abuse.

So Sans gave up on her, even though she was his queen, and left the capital with his brother. His confrontation against her left its mark on his skull, revealing a new aspect of this character: he no longer has only 1HP since he got some new LV by abusing and killing other monster for self-defense and his own need for food and relief. So the head blow didn’t kill him (and I don’t think it should have since Undyne surely must have wanted to keep him locked up somewhere she could torture him in order to mindfuck his personnality..?). Anyways, he must have scared her (or at least surprise her enough for her to let him go with his bro). They returned to Snowdin, and made an agreement with the Queen so that she doesn’t hunt them down: they guard Snowdin and bring her any human that comes by (since they are two of the rare monster that can live under harsh cold weather and that Undyne hates it, it makes sense, besides she doesn’t have to fear Sans and Papyrus’s ambitions to steal human souls from her bc they only intend to survive by their own, away from any form of control over them). And for the other snowdin inhabitants and soldiers she could send to Snowdin instead of potential / official trators, we can state that they are either loyal to the crown in some extreme ways but temper their wrath and lust around the skelebros bc they would surely bone them to death, making the boney bros kinda the chiefs in snowdin, or they are refugees that flee the Queen’s command and sought for protection of the weather and the skelebros, OR they all dead bc skelebros ate them up in all ways.

SO Goretale wouldn’t be the best life place to settle. Horrortale and Underlust aren’t either, but the mix between the two must be even more sordid and glaucous and bloody and slutty at some point and completely infernal. I could see an H.R Giger style for the environment that possibly evolved with the monsters, but with more colours. If you don’t see what I’m talking about, go check by yourselves; the first images must be eloquent enough.

Okay just one example that has no hidden nsfw:

Frogman - Giger meets Escher. imagine it with some red and gold and that’d be totally fit (or not. I don’t care.) I advise you to see more by searching HR Giger.

Warning: it’s art in the “noble” way, but it’s still definitely NSFW AND sordid as heck. So unless your innocence is so extreme you are immuned to sin or you love that kind of thing or you are appealed by some artistical curiosity, keep out!^^ (H.R Giger is a german artist that designed lots of great things including the Aliens of... Aliens. So it’s real good culture and you can check it out without any sinful interest other than artistical curiosity. You’re welcome.)

NOW THE REAL THING (finally. Why the fluff are my summaries always so long?!?)

You know that drawpile allows people to draw at the same time on the same canvas (I feel like I’m repeating myself). Well, tht’s great and it allows things like that to pop out:

Little funny doodles made with @peanutable (here is her OC Verdana, cute lil’ kiddy flowery skely-like monster that is innocence itself why am I not ashamed of putting Goresans in front of him?!? I SHOULD DIE ALREADY SAINTE MERDE !! ).

Now THE GREATEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME ON DRAWPIIILE !!!

Frisk by @sky-lia !! She and @peanutable are such amazing artists !! It really inspires me when I see them drawing, and putting my characters in front of theirs really shows the difference of skill! It encourages me a lot to practice and catch the level! And it is really lots of fun to do^^ Oh My Gnarls Frisk is SOOO adorable they manage to move and disconcert GoreSans! And it shows a nice and somewhat cute part of him I surely would never have thought of if I didn’t draw with them ;) (oh well, after all, in this crazy fandom people see cuteness anywhere, even in the most unsettling places, so OF COURSE GoreSans is also a Teddy Bear lmao)

That’s it for today! That’s All Forks! (this pun MUST have been made already)

[punkscowardschampions]

Edie & Buster

Edie: oi my sister there Buster: She's at work Buster: Are you alright? Edie: tell her come home so everyone get off my dick Buster: I can't tell her what to do Edie: ha yeah u can Edie: i know how she is Buster: Come on Edie: What I thought you want everyone 2 know Edie: or that not include me Edie: wouldn't be the first Buster: 'Course you're included, Eds Buster: Alright fine, I'll be honest Buster: I don't wanna tell her to come home Buster: Do you get that? Edie: oh i get it Edie: its fucked up but i'm with it Buster: Call me a selfish cunt if you want but that's how it is Edie: Why'd I call u that Edie: u didn't do that shit den bounce on us Buster: Yeah but I want her to stay here Edie: yeah u getting ur dick sucked Edie: i said i get it Buster: It's not like that Edie: it is tho man Edie: i'm sorry to tell u actual Edie: but whatever she chat, you ain't special to her, you know Edie: that's just how she do Buster: Nah, babe Buster: It's different Edie: oh mckenna mckenna Edie: thought you was smart Buster: I am Buster: That's why I know what I'm saying is legit, yeah? Edie: the timing ain't got u fucked Edie: oh no i'm in trouble, here's another distraction, like Buster: Like I said, it isn't like that Buster: Me and her have been together long before Drew did what he did Edie: and she's wanted drew to pipe her long before you Edie: ain't none of us believe that just came outta the blue Buster: Don't Buster: She's never wanted him like that Buster: It was one sided, all from him Buster: Yeah, he's been playing that way for a while too but Edie: I'd hear her and Indie talking you know Edie: now that's fucked up, catch her talking to me like that and he ain't even wanna be my dad Buster: What do you reckon you've been hearing? Edie: 'low it, KNOW what i hard Edie: heard, whatever Edie: she thought he was soooooo hot, like every other bimbo in this family Buster: Maybe for one second when she was a kid Buster: It doesn't mean anything other than that Edie: oh boy you drank too much koolaid Buster: Nah Buster: I've been there when he's been acting up, I've seen it for myself how much she wasn't about him like that Buster: Trust me Edie: obvs she ain't gon be wid it when you're about Edie: like at the baby shower Edie: she ain't thick Edie: smarter than u Buster: She isn't ever Buster: It's fucked up Buster: He is Edie: save the spiel baby Edie: he's this family's scapegoat for when they wanna do the fuck shit they wanna do Buster: He's a cunt regardless Edie: u cute Edie: don't let her play u the same Buster: You wish, babe Buster: I know exactly what I'm doing Buster: Do you? Edie: haha Edie: babe, is it really that good it worth dis Edie: i always know what i'm doing Edie: whatever i want Buster: It's worth way more than this shit Buster: Believe it or not Buster: Like it or not Edie: no one like it but what they gon do right Buster: They can do whatever they want Buster: So can I Edie: dun know who u think u preaching at or why Edie: i don't give a fuck what u do Edie: came here cuz i need em off my dick and back on hers and i'm outta here Buster: Why are you chatting at me then like you wanna save me from her or something? I don't buy it, Eds Buster: You could have just said that and left Buster: You care Buster: So talk to her Edie: i care bout me Edie: they're pissing me off more than normal Edie: shame if they get u too but ain't gonna be crying over it baby Buster: Come to London Buster: You can stay here Edie: i dont like u like that mckenna Edie: soz Buster: Shut up Buster: You know what I mean Edie: rahhhh u actually so fucked up lmao Edie: i got places i wanna be Edie: thats the point Buster: You want your fam off your back I'm offering you somewhere to be where they won't be Buster: That's the point Edie: who she Edie: just cos she wanna try out for new step mum Buster: Aint I always had your back? Come on Buster: She isn't gonna give you grief like that Edie: you alright but dont get it twisted u ain't know me like that Edie: i don't wanna see her again at all Buster: I'll get you a hotel if you wanna come then Edie: hell no u cant buy me Edie: i ain't no hooker like ri be Buster: Don't call her that Buster: You know it ain't true Edie: it is tho Edie: she can do what she want but i aint gotta respect it or call it by a diff name to make her feel good bout it Buster: Don't be stupid Buster: You ain't a kid, you know how this all works Edie: she gets paid for her company Edie: what u wanna call it Edie: what makes u feel better Buster: Forget it Buster: I'm not trying to hit my head against the bricks Edie: hahaha thats what they always say when im right Edie: well if she aint gon go back for them she should know her man going pure apeshit, wilding out again like he think he the age he feelin Buster: Nah it's what they say when you won't be told. Not the same thing, like Buster: For the last time, he ain't her man. She doesn't give a fuck what he does or doesn't do Edie: meh whatever you say boy Edie: someone needs to go cheer him up Buster: Not our problem Buster: You do it if you're that bothered Edie: well he won't speak to me will he Edie: i ain't that fuckable, clearly Edie: or he got more morals than yous, either or Buster: Fuck's sake. Don't say shit like that to me Edie: awh mckenna only playin Edie: it's kinda funny tbh Edie: she act like she give the most shits about this fam Edie: and then she ruin it like that cos she wanna bang Buster: Hilarious Buster: She hasn't ruined anything Buster: Behave Edie: yous don't know u ain't here Edie: i'm tellin ya, why u think i'm jumping ship Buster: Neither are you, babe so don't act it Buster: If anything's fucked it's cause Drew fucked it Buster: You should be used to that as a concept Edie: didn't fuck himself mckenna Edie: all yous carry on blaming him til he the only one left tho Buster: I'm blaming him for this 'cause it's his fault Buster: I'm not trying to go any further back in time Edie: what u so whipped for Buster: Fuck off Buster: I know you'd love it to be that simple but it ain't Edie: u actually serious u think u love her Buster: I do love her Buster: I know that Edie: gon take up heroin next mckenna Buster: Grow up Edie: not the one still playing kissing cousins Edie: cute Buster: I don't care what you think Buster: And if that's the best you've got, don't bother, like Edie: good Edie: me either Edie: easier init Buster: Sometimes Edie: don't do halves Buster: Me either Buster: But you ain't the only one getting grief and feeling over it so Edie: fair you are chucking one in your fam, what u expect Edie: i've not done shit Buster: Whatever you say, babe Edie: ha tell me dickhead what have i done u reckon Buster: You're a bit of a cunt honestly Edie: boohoo Edie: if i was i'd fit right in Buster: You are and you do Buster: Deal with it, like Edie: all i do is deal with the unfortunateness of it trust Buster: Don't we all Edie: well bondings been fun babe but i got to go Edie: tell 'em all fairwell from me if you could tah u a real one Buster: Not your errand boy, sorry about it Buster: But not Edie: oh well Edie: they'll deal with not hearing it Buster: Since you ain't giving 'em a choice, yeah, they'll have to Edie: since when did u have to Edie: i ain't had 1 Buster: You've had plenty Buster: There's always choices Buster: Don't chat that bullshit to me Edie: nah Edie: god bless thank god u pretty Buster: Yeah Buster: On both counts Edie: i never had any it was all decided 'fore i even got here Buster: Nah Edie: yeah, mckenna Edie: he ain't want me, ma did Edie: i don't want her Edie: what a sad lil circle Buster: That's a cop out Buster: None of us got to pick our parents, babe Edie: least yours picked you Buster: Your ma picked you and Caleb Buster: You've got a mum and a dad same as I do Edie: well i don't want either of 'em Edie: so i'm offski Buster: Like I said, choices Buster: That's yours Edie: yeah it is Edie: finally Buster: Alright Buster: So stop wasting both our time with this chat then, yeah? Buster: It ain't going nowhere and you've decided you are Buster: Somewhere to be, like Edie: oooh Edie: touchy Edie: i'm waiting for my ride n my time Edie: what u even doin Buster: You don't care so what does it matter Edie: long as it matters to you babe Buster: Cheers Buster: Good insight Edie: ikr Edie: talents are wasted on this town Buster: You and me both Edie: shut up dickhead Edie: streets are paved with gold are they not Buster: Again, you wish it was that simple, babe Edie: why u even invited me then Edie: n u don't wanna fuck me Edie: rude Buster: I can only offer what I can offer Buster: I said it was an out from your fam not a fix all paradise, like Edie: lame and untrue to boot Edie: unfortunate but happens to the best of yas Buster: Whatever Edie: you might be ignoring the family tree like Edie: nothing in it for me Buster: Fine Buster: Don't come Edie: wasn't gonna Edie: doubt we got enough disel to get that far Buster: That's what planes are for Buster: But you know Edie: you know i ain't got that money Buster: I wasn't suggesting you paid for it Edie: kai has less than me lmao Buster: Him either Edie: mckenna mckenna mckenna if she's really doing that bad a job there's places you can go, people you can see Buster: This is boring Buster: You're just repeating yourself now girl Edie: you ain't my first choices either baby it's cool Edie: he's picking up Buster: Very gentlemanly Edie: like i ain't paying for it lmao Buster: If that's your way of saying you need money, make your mind up, like Edie: i'm saying that's where my money goes and is why he ain't getting on no plane Edie: paranoia man it'll get ya Buster: Yeah Buster: I bet Edie: Poor baby Edie: and Charlie thought he left all that behind him Edie: unlucky Buster: Can't say he don't know how to handle it at least Edie: that's a joke init Buster: Are you laughing right now? Edie: Big time Edie: got even less of a handle than ali and caleb Buster: Sure the judgement really helps too Edie: who's judging Buster: You Edie: Nah Edie: I don't care enough for that, I'm just laughing at the mess, not commenting on it Buster: Whatever you say Edie: how much would you give me Edie: outta interest Buster: How much do you want? Edie: ha you're such a bullshitter Edie: wouldn't stall if u was serious Buster: It's a serious question Buster: I don't know how long you're going for or where Buster: Not just gonna pull a number out the air Edie: for good and wherever we end up Edie: guess there's no ballpoint on that eh Buster: That's what you're saying now but if you're gone for a day and I give you a grand its not you who looks like a mug Edie: you a mug thinkin u get to tell me what to do with it like her Edie: its drug money mckenna don't act dumb Buster: Have I said shit about how to spend it? Nah Buster: Be serious and I will Buster: Tell me how much you want Edie: wow you really are dumb Edie: be careful out here baby Edie: even i ain't gonna play u like that but so many will Buster: Fuck off Buster: You're all talk, kid Edie: i'm serious Edie: ain't got your rents biz head have u jesus Buster: You don't know shit about what I'm got or not, Edie Buster: Don't act like you do Edie: you showed enough cards Buster: Nah, I'm showing you I can help you Buster: But be stupid Buster: How far you think you're gonna get with no money and no way to get any? Buster: Unless you're gonna play it the same way as Rio does whilst judging her for earning it Edie: you can help me get high? you and half the punters in this postcode, my da included Edie: ain't special baby and i ain't tryna enter yours so i don't need much Edie: plenty ways of getting cash that don't involve selling your ass Buster: Yeah, you're really smart Edie: aw thanks Buster: Cheers yourself Buster: Not a waste of time at all Edie: You're precious Buster: I know Edie: I reckon we've talked for sufficient time you can play you tried to stop me now Buster: I'm not gonna bullshit anyone Buster: That's for you to do Edie: as you like Edie: oh, tell ri gracie keeps crying, like ALL the time Edie: more than usual Buster: Tell her yourself Edie: alright Edie: she didn't reply last time i wrote her tho but worth a shot Buster: Try saying something worth reading Buster: I know it's a stretch but Edie: aw darn, i really thought i was smart Edie: oh well Buster: Bye, Edie Edie: laters mckenna Buster: Unlikely from how you're selling it, but sure Edie: see i don't know what u reckon the point of u is if you ain't gonna let me hit u up on the reg for cash Edie: you ain't know how this works Buster: I'm not trying to be anything for you Buster: Not my job Edie: knife thru my heart Edie: she always got the best of everything so used to it Buster: yeah yeah Edie: there u go again 💘 Buster: Poor baby Edie: u got jokes Buster: I know Buster: Pretty, smart and funny Edie: when u suck urself off that's somehow grosser than the incest Edie: eurgh Buster: Hilarious Edie: no jokes Edie: i reckon that's hurting your chances more Buster: I didn't ask and I don't care Edie: awh so in love is it Buster: Even if I wasn't, not gonna take advice from you Edie: why not Buster: Not gonna write you a list either Edie: i get laid Edie: by people i ain't related to n all, craziness Buster: Well done Edie: why thank you Buster: Sure your boyfriend wants to talk to you more than I do Buster: So on you go Edie: probably not if he's started without me but you know Buster: Well all the more reason to catch him up then Edie: ha you really don't like me do you Buster: You're not as stupid as you sound Buster: Good to know Edie: its chill b Edie: i dont like me either Buster: Do something about it then Edie: who for? Edie: this cunt Edie: i think not Buster: For you maybe Edie: that's the cunt i was referring to Edie: keep up Buster: You're just being so edgy right now, like Buster: How can I? Edie: we all know u aint vanilla now boy quit playin Buster: You first Edie: what u chattin i'm bein painfully real Buster: You're trying too hard, babe Edie: at what lmao Buster: This game Buster: Been there, done it Buster: You ain't been real this whole convo Edie: tragically i have Edie: soz you found it disappointing but same Buster: Disappointing ain't the word Buster: If you wanna put any in my mouth, try even harder Edie: you should save the wiser older brother bit tho Edie: ur actual sis would probs benefit Buster: I'm not trying to be that for her or you Buster: Unlucky Edie: now who's not being real Edie: it's cute, don't be ashamed Buster: Why should I be real for you? Edie: u shouldn't Edie: just a bit weird to be lecturing me Edie: unless you really tryna kick it daddy and its all do as i say not as i do Edie: i'm with you Buster: Weird ain't the half of what you reckon I am so why do you care? Edie: why do you Buster: Why do I care about you? Buster: Don't be stupid Edie: i'm not u got no reason Buster: Yeah I do Edie: ha sure Buster: Whatever Edie: you're as bad as her aren't you Edie: i got it fucked feeling sorry for you at the start Edie: you gonna chat like family means anything, god, at least i thought you were committed mckenna Buster: She ain't bad, that's your first mistake Buster: She's better than me, that's your second Edie: three strikes and i'm out? Edie: fun Edie: lemme think Buster: If we were playing that you'd have been out ages ago, babe Edie: good to know Edie: underestimated myself again but that's life Buster: I wouldn't know Buster: Not how I'm living Edie: hmm i wouldn't peg you as a total jump the gun cum in your pants type but if you insist Buster: You ain't got a clue how to peg me but it doesn't matter Edie: i been in the know on that but like i said Edie: don't like u like that Buster: Good Edie: lmao gotta draw the line somewhere mckenna Edie: glad to know it's at butt stuff Edie: on that note, peace Edie: my ride here Buster: Bye again Buster: Been a pleasure, obviously Edie: put it on my tab Buster: 'Course

[praphit]

Batman, Cults, and me in Red Latex

Getting back to my roots of writing here! No movie to speak of; just pure rambling!

I started writing way back in the MySpace days. I'd get insomnia, and so stay up and ramble about stuff while drinking rum - which in retrospect is prob a lil reckless:) I found that was the way to go for me - maybe that could be the way for some  of you as well, if you ever struggle with such a thing. 

Writing and rum, baby! 

And if you're under the legal drinking age, just tell your parents that the praphit says it's ok. 

And if the police somehow get involved, tell them... 

Nah, wait, don't mention me... say some random, rambling, black dude said it was ok. And if they ask "Was this "random black dude" the rambling praphit on Tumblr, tell them "Noooooo, he actaully said to... NEVER DRINK... EVER. And that you officers are doing an ok job out there."

Writing and rum!

It works!

Like I said, I don't have a movie this time around; I'm not even sure how I started writing about movies.

I guess I could have gone with "The Lion King"

Which btw can we talk about this scam Disney is running? - telling the same story in a live-action package. And with this one it's still animated; it's not like it's done like one of those "Planet Earth" type shows - THAT would be interesting. I remember watching a clip of a lion eating a zebra, while the zebra was STILL ALIVE! The zebra wasn't even fighting back or crying out anymore... it had totally given up, as if the lion was devouring the zebra's soul and will to live with each juicy, bloody bite. Hey, Elton John, sing a song to that. #circleoflife

What if they followed real wild animals around in Africa, and watched the true circle of life. You could have the actors/team improvise the script depending on what's happening, and due voice-over. I feel like with real animals,  the "Hakuna Matata" scene might go differently.

I'm not shaming anyone for going and enjoying these movies. I had a plan to see "Aladdin", but somehow ended up seeing "Child's Play" instead 

(funniest movie I've seen all year btw). 

I might still go see Aladdin. BUT, it's still a scam. Toss in a lil controversy every now and then with the casting to inflate numbers... that mouse knows what he's doing. It's a good scam! What's next? - telling the same stories, but using puppets... sock puppets; that would be a new low.

But, somehow I feel like we'd still flock to the theatres. We love that Mouse!

I don't blame him. Kinda makes me want to run some type of scam within in music (my industry). What would be the music equivalent of what Disney is doing? I don't think that there is one. Anytime you change a song a lil bit, it's totally changed. 

If I decided to do a cover set of Miley Cyrus songs, exactly the same way that she did them, it would still be totally different. Btw, if I ever do that, please stop me. It'd be clearly a cry for help. Imagine if I started mimicking every vid she ever did as well - same choreography and outfit. 

Don't imagine that.

I guess artists put out remastered stuff sometimes, but I feel like those never sell.

...

...

Sorry, I'm distracted... still thinking about redoing Miley's vids.

I DO have a wig that matches what she has going on there (you don’t need to know why:) , and red sunglasses.

And how about me rockin some red latex??! Yeah! 

Nah, I wouldn’t do it. Only cuz I think that the chafing would be too intense, OR maybe I’ll like the way it looks and feels too much, and decide that’s simply going to be my regular look from now on... making everyone around me uncomfortable... with my intense sexiness. Don’t imagine that either; it may be too sexy from some:)

Ugh... is the fact that I'm even joking about it a cry for help?

The industry for an artist is the real scam. The music industry always wins. The game is rigged. That's why I've been thinking that we musicians should all go on strike. Everyone in music would have to be in on it though. 

Imagine your life with no music:

- no playlists (though that would have to involve some serious hacking, but imagine road trips without them) - no music in movies or shows - no sexy music to get into "the mood" - y'all would have to sing to each other -  Though I guess Aladdin and Jasmine got down like that, so y'all might be ok. New mating ritual.

- no background music anywhere you go (festivals, restaurants, strip clubs:) - we won't even sell any instruments NOTHING! Gotta go extreme sometimes to make people listen.

Maybe we'll toss people a song every now and then out of mercy. But, we'd only allow annoying songs - "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls

"My Humps" by BEP :)

It would take true power to make that happen.

I had thought about ruling the world once. I had a plan to take over the world; it was actually in motion. Yep! It would have worked too, cuz no one would have seen it coming. You would no longer call me your rambling praphit, but OVERLORD!

Like I said, no one would have seen it coming. 

Thanos... and whoever tried to dominate in Justice League in that movie. What was his name? Idk, no one cares, he was terrible. Those guys went too big. You've gotta Keyser Soze it! Play chess, not... Idk, professional wrestling.

I stopped my plans because I figured that I'd just get bored. I get bored easily. Ask anyone I work with - there are times when I'll just leave and go to the movies, or the mall, or the bar, or... on some sort of quest:) Sometimes, I'll dump a project all together cuz I'm simply not feeling it anymore.

Now, DESTROYING the world, THAT seems like it'd keep my attention. Don't worry, I wouldn't hurt the people... unless they stood in my way.

I'd make sure to ship them off to... Saturn or something... can we live on Saturn? Hmm... maybe I'll need to get help with that part of my plan. So, maybe I WILL still take over the world. Once I'm bored ruling after like a week, I'll get my man Elon Musk to ship y'all off to a planet safely, and then the fun begins!

I imagine that there'll be some resistance, though Idk why. Let's be honest, this planet is doomed anyway. We can fight about how and why, but... c'mon we all know it'll eventually burn out. So, just let me have my fun! I'll make sure that there's plenty of big screens wherever Elon sends you to for my big show:)

But, if people want to fight their first and last Awesome Master Overlord on it (I think the "Awesome Master" in the front is better, don't you?), then we can go.

You won't stand a chance though. I'll have all of the best action stars fighting by my side. That's right MY SIDE. They're used to winning; what you think they're gonna fight with you? Psssh, I'll have all of the weapons and tech... plus I'm sure I'll be some type of cyborg, mutant... wizard as well.

But, I'll also have Keanu, Statham, Denzel, Liam, The Rock... I'm realizing that the action hero world is very male dominated. I'll fix that once I'm your Awesome Master Boombastic Overlord. Which woman can I put on my team?

How about Rihanna? 

Yeaaaaaah...

I know what you're thinking - that I could have found a more... suitable pic. Annnnnd you're right.

JUST LET ME HAVE THIS! I mean look at her... DAMN!

FINE!

Scratch that. Rihanna’s not really an action hero anyway, I guess... at least not that type of action. Ooooooh! Haaaaaaa!

No?

C’mon, that’s funny

Whatever. I’ll move on.

The strongest woman in many respects that I can think of off the top of my rum filled brain is Serena Williams. So, we'll say her,

Amanda Nunes ( who doesn't get enough credit for how awesome she is btw)

Megan Rapinoe? I don't know if she can fight or not, but she's tough. I feel like if I put the arsenal of Rambo at her feet, she could save the day all day!

Annnnnnd Alyssa Milano? Idk her stance on violence or guns (though I'm sure she'd have no problem letting me know:) So Idk about her fighting, but she's resourceful though... maybe use the power of sex strikes or something.

(She’s like “Keep on joking and see what happens.”)

Where was I??

I don't remember.

I did want to address those chants from a week ago though "Send Her Back!" I’ve actually been thinking about this for a while, but those chants brought it back fresh to me.

Don't worry, I won't be getting into the politics surrounding it. - I mean what's the point? We never listen to each other anyway. I just want to say this, I have a lot of experience when it comes to cults (I know this seems like it's irrelevant, but stay with me) -

I know cults (don't ask, why let me horrify you:)

But, there are a handful of things that are foundational in cults. I'll bring up two of them:

1) Having a leader (or leaders) who is more concerned with their vision than they are about their people. So, the individuals pain, loss, abandonment, etc means nothing in comparison to their plan.

2) Having people who are all in on a person, ideal, or cause, to the point that they no longer care about the details of what leaders say, do, or sometimes don't do.

Now, the people described above aren't always meaning to be malicious. For example #1 - I've known many pastors who are good people, pure hearted, I might even call them friends in some respects, but they're blinded by their own vision (or "God's vision for them"). They're not trying to hurt others, but they do.

And #2 - they're are certainly people of admirable zeal in a variety of areas (ex. patriotism). They might not be "bad people", they might even think their position is righteous, but when we start to ignore facts, harmful behaviors... when we make ANY person (all of us being imperfect) a symbol of our "righteous cause", we've lost our way.

It's scary (especially being a minority) to see a whole nation exhibit these tendecies. And this is me being gracious (prob due to the rum I keep drinking).

BUT, enough of that... there's something else that is heavy on my heart - BATMAN (our next one that is)

Cuz... I mean... really?

Robbie P?

That's a damn shame! Nobody else wanted to play Batman? We've got the pretty boy, emo, glittery, vamp? What has he done since then? What has he done that has ever been intimidating? Even as a vamp he was lame.

And the Winter Soldier wants to play the Riddler? I don’t think that’ll happen or if the Riddler will even be in the next Batman. But, let’s say that it did. Wouldn’t it feel like they got those two roles mixed up? 

I don't even think Robbie P is intimidating enough to play The Riddler honestly. Sebastian Stan (Winter Soldier) is kinda ripped right? 

He's gonna have to lose some of that muscle before he goes up against Robbie P. I can see right now - The Riddler planning out an elaborate puzzle/trap for Batman, then seeing that it's Robbie, and being like "what do I need theses riddles for?" and then beating the living snot out of Batman. It'll be a worse beating than Bane gave him. 

Filled with rage cuz he knows HE would make a much better Batman.

Now, to be fair, I was wrong about Ben Affleck. I actually liked Ben's take on the role. It made me long for a more old, grizzled, out-of-touch Batman - hear me out:

I'm thinking old Batman, but kinda hulked out. Is Stone Cold Steve Austin still around and kickin to play this Batman?

  Gimme a hell yeah!

But, this Batman I'm envisioning is stuck in the old wmindsets of misogyny and racism - stay with me, cuz this will be an awesome Batman... well, movie... and awesome Batman MOVIE:)

To balance Batman out and keep the angry Twitter mob away from him, he'll have a team of "wokeness". Batwoman will be played by AOC.

Robin will be played by Jimmy Kimmel (you know you want to see him in those tights).

And Alfred's last wish in his will (after being mauled to death by a pack of bunnies... in the first scene of this movie) was to have his brain put inside of the body of a black woman. And that black woman will be Beyonce (cuz this movie will need a kick ass soundtrack).

Think about THAT sitch!

Annnnnd Ben Carson will play himself - he'll be Batman's token black friend/informant.

Already, the best movie ever.

I could see a scene going down like (Bats and the Woke Gang are in a bar... cuz my Batman will be an alcoholic... this Bats has a lot of problems, but he'll be real and raw... YES!)

Batman (after having the waitress bring him two more shots of whiskey, slaps her on the butt and says "Thanks, Sweetness.")

WokeTeam: "Batman! You can't do OR say that!"

B: "What?! Why?!"

WT: "It's ...just awful."

B: "What? If I don't smack her on the butt, how will she know that she did a good job? I'm being helpful!"

WT: (lots of arguing)

B: "Ok, ok, I won't do that... or call her that I guess... how about lil lady? is that ok? or Sugar Plum?"

WT: "Her name is Lisa"

B: "I got it! BIG BOOTY"

WT: "What is wrong with you? - that's ridiculous! Look, we'll deal with that later. Let's hurry up and get to the crime scene. And on the way we want to talk to you about the confederate flag on the Batmobile...annnnnd the Kaepernick sticker that calls him a Son of a Bitch"

B: "Why? He hates America. And there's nothing wrong with that flag!"

WT: "Bu, Batman..."

B: "No, no, I know there isn't, let me call Ben."

Sooooo, there are scenes like that, BUT he's also out there kicking major ass! It'll be like "Matrix" action meets "Sin City" action. And we'll update the villains -

Bump N Grinder

Fyre Man

 and his side kick “The Sucker”

“The Comedian?” (that question mark is part of her name)

Keep the classics of course

Annnnd his arch nemesis Iggy Azalea 

- ruining Hiphop wherever she goes.

And in the end asses are BRUTALLY kicked, sure, but Batman also learns some important lessons... or... or simply blows his brains out. Cuz let's be honest, some of us would rather blow our brains out than try to change.

Hey, DC... call me.

My next movie will prob be "Once Upon a time in Hollywood" 

cuz of my main man Leo! - though idk about the premise. Now, if they were making "Fight Club 2" with this cast, then definitely! What if Leo and Margot Robbie (who’s also in this) are also in Edward Norton’s head; duking it out. YES! Imagine if Quentin Tarantino directed Fight Club with his typical bloody style; we’d all still be horrified). 

So maybe "Hobbs & Shaw" 

 - those two of course, but Idris Elba is in that too! I love him!

He would have been a great Batman! I bet he could have gotten that role if he had tried. He def could have gotten that James Bond role if he had tried. But, nope, instead he decided to do "Cats"

I'll leave y'all on that thought.

[choriocytosicinquisitor-blog]

DENNAB: -After peddling around Skaia, it's time for Dennab to head back to his makeshift studio. If there's no room for it in his dorm, Dennab has definitely shanghai'd an empty storage room for it. But first, a visit to the showers probably. He slinks.- KAVI: =HOLD IT. He needs tom TLC with his baby. He's glad Den got out today, that he was exploring around and getting some air. After looking for him a big he meets him in the hall and just.... drapes on the wall= hey there.... :point_right: ;) DENNAB: -He should have known Kavi was stalking him a lil. Den stops in his tracks, taking a second to process this. And the dismay that follows soon afterwards.- SHIT. i forgot to tell you i was gettin' close to bein' done. KAVI: no man it's cool just checkin up on ya, seein how you are and what not DENNAB: uh... guess i'm cool. -If you call rattling at himself for two weeks, living on nothing but microwave burritos, gatorade, and a handful of sleep hours.- almost done with the paintin' like, i said. DENNAB: ... DENNAB: now it's shower time, lol. totes eventful. -leans by the wall also. Fingers toying with a cheese stick like he can't get over the twitches. It's been a time for him.- you????(edited) Mishroom - Yesterday at 8:24 PM KAVI: =he's gonna try to approach him and touch his arm, pets and soothes= KAVI: well.... i'm glad you're good..... mind if i join you then?... low stress chill KAVI: been hangin with Nellie and Auryhn, doin shows, uh, some... other stuff we can talk about later DENNAB: -looks at him with the tired eyes, acting as if the affections weren't being absorbed like liquid fire into his skin. So thirsty for it.- i'm down for the low stress stuff. DENNAB: ... -falls quiet and then just struts off. Leading the way to the dorm room.- what kinda stuff? KAVI: well. for one you look like you need a hug and several naps... are you hungry babe? =maybe he should've hounded him a bit more= KAVI: or... do you wanna get away? we can go to my mom's place... vannylociraptor - Yesterday at 11:24 PM DENNAB: -rubs at his face and shakes his head. HHH, full body shake.- nah, i ate already. i'm good!!!! DENNAB: i just want a shower... or whatever. -they get to the dorm room and Dennab peeks, wondering if Satomi was home. It didn't look like she was.- KAVI: ok... =watches him and rubs his shoulder... Satomi didn't seem present which was good.= we'll just shower and chill out yeah? KAVI: =He looks over Dennab and... usually he felt like he could help him. That he had a handle on most things but right now he wasn't so sure... he still knows Dennab of course but. Some things you don't know how to help= you wanna talk about anything? DENNAB: -lets the both of them in. As Kavi can see, his side of the room looks scarcely used...- nah, it's just... one of those things??? i don't know what's on my mind except just. RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. FUCKERY. DENNAB: -makes his way to the bathroom.- let's talk about you instead. KAVI: if you're sure man... =watches him more. Observing him and his side of the room.= KAVI: uh... well, like i said i've been chilling with Nellie and Auryhn a bunch KAVI: me and Nel got like a spa thing we're gonna do tomorrow also, oh, lol KAVI: so, i was out and about today right and i see Auryhn doin his like.... mountain man fuckin hackity swordy swing exercises KAVI: and then Jareth is there doing his thing too, long story short there was a shady sword deal and he was like, at Jareth, i'll get you a sword if you wanna trade for some clothes for me and my main man Kavzizzle lol.... KAVI: =gets out his Space Jammies and pokes at Dennab's stuff.... where's he been if this room hasn't been used= vannylociraptor - Yesterday at 11:45 PM DENNAB: -Painting vigorously... he twitches and shifts on his feet, gathering up his stuff for a bath.- sounds like you been busy as HELL. but i mean?? that's good??? wish i could have been there. DENNAB: be there. or-- yeah. -shuffles into the bathroom, avoiding looking at Kavi.- it sounds fun. KAVI: yeah.... you should come hang KAVI: uh, we can do like regular lunches and shit =Follows him, eyeballing the twitches= get everyone together... DENNAB: i think i'm good lookin' at all the status updates and SHIT first. -Oh. That came out more biting than he intended. Fucking... the regret sets on him immediately as he stops in his tracks. Wringing his towel.- i'd just ruin your fun, bro. KAVI: =Yeah.. that was a bite and not the good kinda either. Kavi walks around to Dennab's front and tries to take the hands wringing the towel= KAVI: no.... you wouldn't KAVI: =sighs= man KAVI: i dunno, shit's.... stressful and crazy KAVI: you can't lock yourself away though that's bad news bro KAVI: we can be doin shit together, we can go hang out and see sights and there's tons of fun here DENNAB: -He doesn't fight Kavi taking the towel from his hands but... the general kind and patient way he did it was more than enough to bring a stinging wetness to Dennab's eyes. It was more than he ever treated himself. His hands drop to his sides.- DENNAB: but why tho?? what's the point? if i end up feelin' like i'm just holdin' you back??? you deserve... to be out there????? hangin' out and laughin' and singin' and preformin' not-- DENNAB: waitin' around for me to get my SHIT together and come out and be there for you???????? DENNAB: or feel like-- no. KNOW you could be doin' so much better than me??? he's right there in front of me! he's been there, i FUCKIN' know he has! KAVI: no, no you're not holdin me back.... Den-- =he furrows his eyebrows= what?? KAVI: babe, no. it's not... nothing is a competition? you need me so i want to be here and i want to help you work through this i just-- i dunno what, to-- i want to be here for you DENNAB: i know!!! that's why i know it's not your FUCKIN' problem! it's not fair of me to think it or say it or ANYTHIN' cuz it's not my goddamn RIGHT. i should be happy but i'm not!!!!!!!! -His face just screws up even more. Copper streaks down his cheeks and ears pinned, he's gross in the face and knows it.- DENNAB: i'm just BATSHIT wantin' you to only pay attention to me and want me even tho i'm just??? me????? what the FUCK is so great about me??? who do i think i am?????? DENNAB: i only want you but like??? how the FUCK is any of this fair??????? it's not! i'm the one doin' this to you! KAVI: =makes a bit of a face but tries to keep talking, abandoning the towel to hold Dennab's hands= Den, look at me KAVI: you are so, fucking, important. you are, you're so goddamn good dude i know who you are! KAVI: you're nice and thoughtful and you got so much fuckin love to give but you also kick your own ass a lot and you... you're hurt okay? but that's-- KAVI: it's, we can, i..... i want, we can compromise? KAVI: spend more time together which is the fuckin ideal lol.... right? =Looks over his face hopeful, maybe that could help... maybe it was enough to ease him a little= DENNAB: why? -pitiful and tearful.- i love that... you make anywhere you're at your own. i'm not goin' anywhere, i just... DENNAB: can't stand that i'm the one tellin' you that you can't. -rubs his eyes, head hanging low. Unable to meet the hopeful look on Kavi's face- you can't fix me. i ain't gonna stop. even when i have it good, i find a way to ruin it. DENNAB: that's not... fair.... that's not what you deserve... Mishroom - Today at 12:47 AM KAVI: =He just searches Dennab's face, expression falling into worry and edging on hurt and desperation= i.... don't i get to decide that? KAVI: i get to chose what's good for me or what i deserve or whatever the fuck i-- so, maybe if i can't wait-- fuck no, KAVI: you don't HAVE to be fixed! KAVI: you're so fucking good you're so good, Dennab you are so goddamn good! KAVI: i'm not LETtING you ruin a goddamn thing DENNAB: -he flares back, similarly hurt and desperate and feeling so awful for it. The worst.- so, what we just??????????? DENNAB: pretend like aurhyn ain't been wantin' to put the moves on you since before we started bein' a thing???? he's moon over the FUCKIN' mountains for you!!!!! and like why wouldn't he be?????? he was the one bein' a threat enough that i thought-- FUCK. DENNAB: i'm never goin' to see kavi around after this! how long's it gonna be before he takes off and forgets about me too??? how FUCKED up is that to think before jumpin' into datin' someone????? it's wrong, kavi! it's really, really wrong! KAVI: i.... =Oh.... he just... frowns at that....... not sure if Dennab meant that how he said it....  That he was just kind of jumping ship on people and latching onto other people.= KAVI: =That he just left and forgot about Sapire and that he might do the same thing to him= ....n... no KAVI: i, KAVI: wouldn't do that to you KAVI: i love you and i just.. want us to be OKAY =he's tearing up but its not about him but maybe he is being too much of a flirt. His mind racing while he tries to shift things about= no, i'm KAVI: we're okay KAVI: it's okay, we're okay we can fix it DENNAB: we shouldn't... HAVE to FUCKIN' fix it if it wasn't broken to start with???????? -He feels choked up, immobile on the spot to be the one doing this. Saying these things. It's a knife to the bloodpusher.- there's nothin'... FUCKIN' wrong with you, kav. KAVI: .. yes there IS i'm not, you know i'm not.. i fucking..... STAY in my head all the time! i-i get so fucked up on my anxiety and stupid fucking peer perceptance that i end up in some shitty expectation spiral and when i fuckin break that i flip my shit??? KAVI: i don't, i'm not PERFECT, i fuckin need to, i can't, i don't =He's crying now, lip shaking= i'm a fuckin TRY HARD and i'm good at it and i fuckin, flirt too fuckin much and that DOESN'T HELP KAVI: I have problems too we're BOTH in the shit DENNAB: when the FUCK is flirtin' too much an issue??? it's not! HOLY FUCK. DENNAB: the issue is you tryin' hard and just tryin' makes you like???? eons of FUCKIN' good and great and maybe not perfect????? DENNAB: but good!!!! -rubs his hands into his hair aggressively, muscling through the brunt of the heartache.- it ain't no surprise people are drawn to you. i mean, i was??? am????? currently am bein'???? KAVI: it's not good it's fucki- what... what do i have to DO? =He sniffs and just opens his arms he wants to make things like they are. He wants them to be like they were, he didn't want to lose Dennab he COULDN'T lose him= KAVI: i just... i want us how we are... i want, tell me what the fuck i have to do i don't want, to- KAVI: ..what can i do for you? DENNAB: i don't want it either but???? how the FUCK do we make somethin' like this work?? -It's not a question at Kavi but to themselves. Each other.- maybe we just don't..... focus on it??? DENNAB: we just... -vague gestures before dropping his hands down in defeat.- don't do the romance thing a while?? see how like.... DENNAB: that works out for us. if we end up workin' out then we do and if not, then... DENNAB: it just goes back to how it was. before we started mackin' and SHIT. cuz that was like... -rubs his arm, expressioned pained.- never more important than just. DENNAB: plain lovin' you. KAVI: =There's a lot of pain to go around... he feels a heavy hurt in his chest and he knows.... they. It's not forever. It's, maybe it just needs to be some time to calm down.. it could be helpful for Dennab. It might help him. Maybe being the other way was better... still that doesn't make it hurt any less= KAVI: =He's crying but he nods anyway and just. Sucks it back up. He just takes a breath and shoves it down and nods again= i... yeah, i uh.. KAVI: yeah.... just, bein there KAVI: that's more, that's more important.... uh... i'm still. here KAVI: for anything, everything i'm still here.. DENNAB: -he's gotta touch him then, or at least pull him into a groudy hug. What with the lack of a shower and all. He smells heavily of corn chips and dried paint.- DENNAB: -none of this stops him from burying in face right into his hair.- i'm sorry this is all such... DENNAB: (fuck shit.) KAVI: =It's such a good smell.... it's a smell he's come to love. It's Dennab and being so close to him and wrapped up in it just makes him want to start crying again. His hands come to Dennab's sides then to his back where he clings hard= KAVI: no...just...it'll be ok KAVI: =buries his face in Dennab's shoulder= (... it can help... but it's definitely fuck shit) DENNAB: -easily lifts this soft bara with all his wiry strength, just to hug him even closer. Always stronger than he looks.- i FUCKIN' love you from the whole goddamn moons and back. all of them sumava BITCHES moons. KAVI: =HUP, there he goes and that does get him to smile a little. Giving Dennab a good squeeze= hah, i love you too, so much okay? =He really wants him to know that... that he was worth so much but... ugh. Maybe he shouldn't dwell on it so much= DENNAB: yeah baby doll. -scritches a hand into the back of his hair.- i know.