asil-norahc

[asil-norahc]

Really good Twitter thread originally about Elon Musk and Twitter, but also applies to Netflix and a lot of other corporations.

Full thread. Text transcription under cut.

Keep reading

[asil-norahc]

The rest of the thread is here.

tl;dr: Don’t monetize AO3, kids.  You won’t like what happens next.

[asil-norahc]

everyone shut the FUCK up and look at Him!!! ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓

see. him face.

[asil-norahc]

monsters can go to the surface (twitter), but the night vale residents cannot/don't want to get out of town (tumblr)

[asil-norahc]

[asil-norahc]

After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:

“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”

Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.

“Ow!”

“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”

“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”

The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.

“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”

She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.

“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”

The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.

“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.

“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”

“Technically,” Says Gretel, “It’s a murder.”

[asil-norahc]

everyone shut the FUCK up and look at Him!!! ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓

see. him face.

[asil-norahc]

WHY YOU SHOULD WRITE HORRIBLY:

1. You’ll never write anything if you don’t

[asil-norahc]

On a lighter note.

The main reason I ever wanted to write a Hungarian mythology-based urban fantasy is that I needed to see someone do Bread Magic in a mundane modern setting.

Bread Magic shows up in a variety in Hungarian fairytales. It works like this: when someone evil, usually the devil, sometimes a dragon, wants to come into your house and hurt you, usually by taking your children, what you do is put a loaf of bread on the windowsill. It will speak for you.

When evil demands admission, the bread will say: First, they buried me under the ground, and I survived. When I sprouted, they cruelly cut me down with sickles, and I survived. They threshed me with their flails and I survived. They ground me to flour with their millstones and I survived. They put me in a bowl and kneaded me, then they put me in a hot oven to bake me, and I survived. Have you done all these things? Until you do all these things and survive, you have no power here.

This is pretty powerful magic I think, and it makes sense in a country where wheat is the staple crop and bread is the staple food. If you have bread, you are alive, if you have no bread, you are dead, therefore bread is life. It was customary to refer to wheat as “life” well into the twentieth century, and not in high literary circles either: rural seasonal workers negotiated their wages in so and so many sacks of life.

And I totally want someone to do bread magic with a shitty store-bought muffin.

[asil-norahc]

[asil-norahc]

"what makes us human" oh I know this one! use of fire led to the development of cooking led to dietary changes that enabled brain growth. this, plus the light and warmth provided by fire, allowed early hominids to spend time socializing around the hearth, encouraging the development of language and furthering our abilities to communicate, eventually leading to the unprecedented cooperation needed to create and organize human societies.

so it's a combination of food, language, friendliness and cooperation, all thanks to pyromaniacal tendencies and our massively enormous fat heads!

[asil-norahc]

I’m super happy with how it turned out!! Thank you Kam for this amazing art!

My third Art commission!! @asil-norahc asked for both color and monochrome exports!

(This was my largest undertaking to date. I feel exhausted yet satisfied. Turned out better than expected XD)

Thank you asil for your patronage <3

[asil-norahc]

Came up with an idea last night that all Papyrus fans should come together and draw picture(s) of Papyrus saying fuck or swearing and post it on the same day so the people who constantly leave comments about how "Sans is gonna be so mad when he finds out someone corrupted his brother" 🙄 will be killed by the sheer force of it all instantly.

So anyways I declare that June 16th is Let Papyrus Say Fuck Day, all you gotta do is draw Papyrus swearing, or if you want, doing other things that the fandom at large would lose their minds over. Like Papyrus gambling or committing arson. It doesn't have to be high art, it can be a shitposty little doodle. Post it on the 16th and tag it with #LetPapyrusSayFuck as well as Undertale and Papyurs so everyone else can find them. Reblog this post or send it to your Papyrus loving friends, the more participants the better.

[asil-norahc]

Wonderful art !! I'm so happy with how it turned out !

My third Art commission!! @asil-norahc asked for both color and monochrome exports!

(This was my largest undertaking to date. I feel exhausted yet satisfied. Turned out better than expected XD)

Thank you asil for your patronage <3

[asil-norahc]

reasons to not quit writing:

your writing is a skill, not an inborn talent (unless, yeah, maybe it is). not everyone can do what you do and love

everyone says they want to write a book. everyone has what it takes to write a book. not everyone does it anyway. you be the small percentage of success you read about

your writing will always seem brickshit horrible because you wrote and read it a million times

you love this writing thingy. quitting it will be like cutting off your fingers one by one.

someone out there will want to read what you wrote.

someone out there wants to know what is on your mind. 

someone out there appreciates your art. they will share it with their friends. they will share it with their loved ones. they will share it with their future self because maybe what you wrote saved them.

if you give up now, you know you will just come back to it again, whether it’s years from now, months, or next week. you love writing, that’s why you planted the seed of thought that you are going to write this book, and whether you come back to it or not, your unwritten stories will come back to you.

[asil-norahc]

was NOT expecting that last one

[asil-norahc]

So apparently, over the summer, Quibi (the shortest-lasting streaming service ever lmao) did a quarantine project called “Home Movie: The Princess Bride” where a bunch of celebrities recreated The Princess Bride in tiny chunks at home.

And like there was no permanent cast, all these celebrities seem to have gotten a scene or part of a scene to do (i’m not sure exactly, I did not ever watch Quibi and thus haven’t seen this yet), and then they just… recreated it as best they could. At home. Under quarantine.

So like, you had Jennifer Garner in a blanket cape playing Princess Buttercup AND the Booing Old Woman with a crowd comprised entirely of stuffed animals:

Or Taika Waititi paying Westley off a badly-drawn Inigo on a piece of cardboard held in front of someone’s face:

And it’s all just delightful.

But my absolute favorite part of this thing that I’ve sadly never seen but assume is probably absolutely hilarious and a treasure and I want to find it some day and watch the whole thing… is that Carey Elwes is in it.

As Prince Fucking Humperdink.