#so they cancel it and ruin everyone’s hopes and dreams

[confusionmeisss]

okay, but seriously fuck netflix for never committing to more than 1-2 seasons of a show, especially when it comes to book adaptations!

[t1red-twilight]

OMG OMG can you do something with angst request #10 "i miss you. your side of the bed doesn’t even smell the same anymore" with peter :)))))) Ive been sad and need some angst to match the mood and who better to ask!!!

bereavement

summary: “i miss you. your side of the bed doesn’t even smell the same anymore.”

content/warnings: gn!reader, andrew!peter, angst, major character death, grief, descriptions of ptsd, disordered eating (if you squint)

notes: omg tysm!!! i GOTCHU girl (gender-neutral). i really really tried with this one, i hope you enjoy it. i hope you feel better, dear anon. this fic made me cry lol

word count: 1k

masterlist p. parker masterlist

you had had a grueling day at work. you hadn’t slept the night before; your head plagued with dreams and regrets that you would carry as long as you would live. everyone was bothering you in some shape or form, plus, you had forgotten your lunch.

all you wanted was peter. you opted to walk to his home instead of trying to bear the late night traffic.

when you saw him, your shoulders finally released the tension that they had been holding.

“hey, pete.” you sat down next to him. “you would not believe how hard work was today. a rude older lady harassed me about messing up one of her forms, even though she was the one that filled them out.” you slouched and looked at the ground.

the honks of busy city life filled your ears. the smell from the rain lingered. “i forgot my lunch again. i don’t have enough to eat out right now either, so i just didn’t have lunch. but that’s not a big deal.” stomach pains were something that you were becoming quite familiar with. inhaling deeply, you continued. “i canceled more plans. i know you don’t want me to, but i just want to spend any time i have, with you. I can’t bear to be further away from you.” the sound of him scolding you felt like whispers against your damp skin.

you reached up and wiped a lone tear from your cheek. smiling as wide as you could handle, you tried to ignore them.

“i want to move to somewhere quieter, but i could never leave you.” you fiddled with your fingers out of habit.

there was a pause. your ears rang. “you don’t ever have to worry about me leaving, okay? i promise. i’ll stay here as long as you need me too.”

you waited; your eyes trailed downward, head turned away. the street was still slick with the combination of the oil from the city mixed with the rain. your breathing was fitful now, tears soaking the neckline of your top.

“i miss you. your side of the bed doesn’t even smell the same anymore,” you choked out, your hands rubbing the sockets of your eyes. you scanned the graveyard before returning your gaze to where peter rested.

Peter’s headstone was simple; he never would have wanted something grandiose. you and may picked out a simple granite. it was more may’s choice than yours, you had been too hysterical to even cope with the fact that the funeral you were planning was his.

even through hysterics, it never really hit you that he was dead. not until he sunk in an urn into the earth.

he always insisted an urn, better for the environment. neither you or may could handle having him sit on your mantle. you both decided that it felt too dehumanizing.

his headstone read: Peter Benjamin Parker: Lover, Son, Hero.

“it’s not getting any easier. i still love you more than anything, peter. i’m not capable of loving someone else, i think.

“you’ve ruined me romantically.” you laughed at the thought. it was a joke, even though it rang truer and truer as each day passed.

“you are the highlight of my existence. good lord, peter. you mean so much to me. there is nothing that i wouldn’t do to see you again. or, at the very least get your pillow to smell normal again. it reeks of me.”

-

peter died in your arms.

you could not quite recall the turn of events completely, but you could very clearly remember what he had said to you last.

he stumbled into your apartment through the fire escape. it got blurry after he thudded onto the carpet.

there had been some criminal ransacking the city who had a particular vengeance for peter. every time peter went out, he came back worse and worse. the name of the scum that killed him laid dormant somewhere in your mind. you refused to even think about him, as far as you were concerned, he was beneath you.

you had known that peter’s crime fighting could result in something serious, but pete had always insisted that everything was going to end up all right.

“i got him,” he had said. you ran over to help him. everything you remembered was from the third person, like you were watching yourself from above. you couldn’t recollect anything you said in response. “finally you’ll be safe from-”

from this point everything was crystal clear. you could name the shampoo still faintly straggled in his hair. it was your shampoo; now tarnished with the intense irony scent of blood that congested the throngs of your shared bedroom.

“peter, we have got to call an ambulance.” you were getting frantic. you tried as hard as you could to hoist him up, but he resisted. his arms rested atop your shoulders as you tried and tried to lift him up.

“it’s my time, love, it’s-”

“no. just let me get you to the hospital. if you hold on just a little bit longer, we can get you fixed up, okay?”

he inhaled like he was going to say something. his forehead fell to your shoulder.

“honey?” you shook him. “peter?”

“pete? peter?” you hand moved to his scalp. you tried to thread your fingers through his hair to no avail. the matting from his blood halted you fingers as soon as you began.

“c’mon, darling. stay awake, okay?”

“peter?”

your screech was pathetic as he laid limply in your arms. his chest was concave and his left foot had been barely hanging on.

-

you changed your shampoo after that; the smell of it only ever brought you that night. whenever you closed your eyes, you saw visions of peter. you could not decide which was worse: the memories where he was happy, or the play-by-play of his soul shrinking away from yours.

nights were now filled with television reruns, your ceiling, anything that could keep you awake occupied your time. when you were asleep you could be with him again. but, you never wanted to wake up. the hollow throbbing pains of having him ripped away from you again when you woke made you an insomniac.

you doomed yourself to repeat this cycle. it was as if you ever managed to get over peter, you’d lose everything that you had of him. so, you clung to every crumb that remained. even though those crumbs were slipping through your fingers like sand and disappearing with time as days passed.

[ringstarrr]

If I Needed Someone

summary: Elena is a Brazilian journalist on vacation in London, and happens to find someone very special during this trip that changes her life.

pairing: george harrison x !female oc

warnings: mentions of disaperances, military dictatorship, angst

author's note: i know i said i'd posting this in january, but life is a bitch. like i said before in that post, here is the long fic i'm currently working on. it starts in 1967. it takes a long time to write this one so hold on. hope you like it :)

1.

It was her first time aboard; she went to London to pursue the dream of knowing the ever so beautiful place with her own darkish eyes. Most of the things Elena liked came from England, so it was no surprise where the Brazilian girl would choose to go once her now ex-boyfriend came up with the idea of visiting another country. They have long broken up, finding the man with one of other female reporters in a bar around the corner of the magazine they worked at in São Paulo. At least the girl was only a freelancer, never seeing the woman again, and Elena thought she wouldn’t recognize her at first glance — and the element she once called a boyfriend took more work out of town since then, only coming to the office once to tell Elena he had canceled his ticket.

"I won’t disturb your trip, even if it was meant to be ours. Sorry I ruined everything". How sweet, she smiled.

Elena worked at Realidade, living the raw and chaotic lifestyle of the city’s downtown area. The office was in between two avenues, João Adolfo and Álvaro de Carvalho, a few meters from the famous Nove de Julho avenue. Realidade occupied the twelfth floor of the triangle-shaped building, and the woman loved it. The magazine was ahead of its time in its themes and how to board those, having a monthly publishing gave the reporters just enough time to research and interview how many people needed to write an interesting article for the next issue. It was definitely a fun job.

Elena covered politics, though; it wasn’t nice, but it wasn't as bad as she and everyone in her life circle thought it would be. The country has been under a military dictatorship for three years, when she was just a student coming from the countryside. Elena was 22 and she remembers everything, either she likes it or not. If not for her, probably her family wouldn’t have ever known how things were going on in the big major cities, believing the propaganda around a communist threat and moral panic. She prevented them from knowing full details, not only because they were gruesome, disheartening and shocking, but Elena feared someone might be listening, moreover, who.

The girl knew a bunch of people that went missing in the blink of an eye. It was her last year in college, and all she could remember was her colleagues and friends just stopping from coming to class altogether, raising an unspoken concern around campus, to then the course’s administration being obliged to take a leave of absence for almost a third of the enrolled class. It was extremely hard, much for not knowing when, how, where or who to talk about the subject without tracing unwanted attention. The smallest of the missteps was enough to end it all. The safest place was her bathroom, crying under the shower in complete distress, and sometimes some places in her dorm, where she’d meet others involved with unions and UNE — the Students National Union — in the early hours of the morning every once in a while. The dark haired one also left that part out when talking to her parents once she went to visit them later that same year. Elena not only had friends in the movement, she was in it as well.

It was a tough experience in every single way she could think of. She came to understand that some of her friends were exiled willingly, some not, and a few were declared dead. And there were the ones which nobody had a clue about. Every hint the movement got led nowhere or, more often than not, to traps by the military. They started ignoring those clues after a while to avoid any more casualties, and it simply made her numb for a long time. One of the students missing was a close friend, Lídia, and what might be happening to the young lady took nights away from Elena.

Lídia was a tall blonde with a beauty mark on the center of her forehead, always carrying a big brown leather purse that used to get twisted in her long hair. She was friends with Elena since their first day at college, clicking like they were childhood sweethearts. Elena knew her family, and sometimes the image of her parents would pop into her nightmares. Lídia went missing right before graduation. The last time they spoke was that same day, and she was heading to Elena’s dorm to help her pack to move to a new and small apartment near Lídia’s house, around Mooca.

When the blond didn’t show, Elena called her friend’s family. In the new space, sitting on one of the boxes lying in the living room, she curled the yellow phone’s cord anxiously. It was late in the evening and Lídia’s parents were elders, but that didn’t matter at that moment.

"Sorry to call this late, Ms", she announced at the sound of Lídia’s mother's voice. "Have you heard from Lídia? She was supposed to come here earlier…"

Elena trailed off, hearing the complete silence fill the call. The duration of it and strength of the woman slowly taking in a breath stayed with her. And the trembling of her voice.

"She never arrived at the dorm, Elena?" The young one bit her cheek, holding back the anxiety growing stronger. She managed to whisper a “no”. "That can’t be true…"

Not anymore.

Elena cried herself to sleep that night and a bunch of others after. She still visits their house, only not as much. Both parts were scared of raising unrequited stares by being seen together. Yet, they lived close. Elena often saw the elderly woman on the street, clearly taken over by the situation. She was thinner, her skin deep and her eyes small. Having to deal with this in silence drove Elena mad, reconsidering the movement and her involvement with it. Is this really worth it? All this suffering? It was something she thought a lot about. But since she didn’t get involved much already, just going to meetings and delivering letters from exiled revolutionaires to their families and friends, Elena decided to stay.

She panicked when one of her friends tried to teach her how to shoot a gun in early 1966. It was dangerous to do that just by themselves, without the movement’s help, especially in a residential building on Vila Mariana, an area the military used to patrol quite often due to the movie theaters with mostly foreign movies — they thought the students were dumb enough to schedule a meeting during or after a Godard film was shown. The experience brought Elena a new feeling of dread and anxiety she longed to never feel again. The friend, which was actually a casual fling restricted to secluded places — it was a girl — left and never came back, but only after calling Elena a coward. It was the first week at her new apartment, quite a homecoming. She had left Mooca after just five months, the possibility of meeting Lídia’s parents anytime she left the house cursed her — Elena knew they didn’t blame her for the missing of their daughter, but she couldn’t help but think how the military caught the girl when she was going to her place.

The fling was a girl named Julia. They met through a movement’s meeting. She didn’t live in town, staying for a mission she refused to tell Elena anything about. But the girl had a gun in her backpack and that raised unanswered questions. It was the first time Elena got involved with a girl and it was actually nice for some time. Julia would come by her apartment unannounced quite often. Initially just to chat and give back one of Elena’s records she borrowed. On one of those occasions, the long and curly haired brunette made a comment on Maria Bethania’s appearance after returning the singer’s debut LP, exclaiming how attractive she thought the baiana was. This led to a subtle talk on women’s traits, what each of them liked most — Julia was just naming Elena’s physical traits and it didn’t go unnoticed. They ended up in bed, showering each other in caresses and kisses. It happened a few times, enough for Elena to consider asking the girl what she wanted to label them, even if just for themselves.

This whole conversation was supposed to take place that night, but Julia was more interested in trying to convince Elena to learn how to shoot the gun. What started as a joke soon turned into a fight. It all happened fast. She arrived, kissed Elena and dropped the backpack by the front door, and began bickering about how much of a pussy Elena was for not knowing how to protect herself. The girl tried to brush it off, but then realized Julia wasn’t kidding, she actually meant it. Julia tried to force Elena into holding the weapon and that was it for her — she shoved Julia away harshly, eyes wide.

"Oh, so it’s gonna be like this?" Julia ironized and pushed Elena even harder, the woman landing on the ground. Julia snickered and grabbed her things, going to the door. "You are and will always be a fucking coward." With that, she slammed the door and the two never met again.

Either way, covering politics as a journalist was difficult, and it could go way worse depending on how attentive and paranoid you were. She was on vacation, so nothing to worry about, at least not for now.

Elena was having the best time and, for her, the trip could last forever. She was hanging around town like a complete tourist and outsider — which she was — and simultaneously feeling what belonging must be like. Being from a small city, one of those where everyone knows each other and people talk about others constantly because, well, there isn’t much else to do there, she’d never experienced that. Not in her hometown nor on the college campus. Nevertheless, strangely, she’d swear it was as if the place was made for her, laughing a bit at her selfishness.

She did not feel the need to look up a map after leaving the hotel, however like said before, Elena was at home. She had landed in Europe a few days before, looking around like a lunatic and making friends with an old lady on the same floor of the place she was staying. They went around the town together, the madam making sure to show the young girl some of her favorite spots across town. It was fun, the elderly woman reminded Elena of her grandmother, Italian and not so subtle about expressing herself. She liked the company and was actually considering Isabella a friend and knew it was mutual, exchanging penpal information so they’d send letters and postcards back and forth.

Isabella was in the same situation as Elena, kind of. Her husband died before their trip, but she didn’t think it was a drag or anything like it. The woman was very much at peace with that. She didn’t give Elena a whole lot of detail, but the girl wasn’t stupid. He died of natural causes in his sleep. That Isabella didn’t enjoy. She told her the late man was a farabutto of the highest caliber for most of their marriage and wasn’t much around. Elena knew a lot of Italian men and how bad they could be, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together, and considering the amount of anger Isabella had when speaking of him, she didn’t question the happiness the madam felt being free again.

Walking and driving around Europe with an outspoken Italian lady was not in her plans, being shy herself. The job made her go out of her shell whenever needed, so it was quite easy to learn how to deal with being constantly spoken to at high volumes and enemy-of-timidness-and-shame-ways most days. Their generational difference didn’t interfere — Isabella had other interests for when Elena was in a mood for something “hip”. Nevertheless, their strange and unique ways brought them together in the first place.

Elena was not able to leave the building as fast as she meant, the short old woman bombarded her with a bunch of questions drawn from her pure hectic mind.

"How do I look, mia cara?" Elena chuckled at how they developed so fast a type of grandmother and granddaughter dynamic.

"Good as always, love."

"Do I look pretty?" She pressed, doing circles in the new acquisition Isabella bought earlier in the morning, a flowery spring dress.

"Belissima", the girl replied with a smile.

"Do you think he will like it?" Today she had a date, and Elena couldn’t be happier for her. Isabella met a North American man around her age at the hotel bar in town for a business trip, yet, he asked her for a date. It was harmless fun.

"If he doesn’t, he is blind or stupid. Look at you!" She exclaimed.

Elena left without completely letting her know how stunning and gorgeous she was. Time was ticking and at that point, he would be waiting for Isabella in a matter of minutes. Wandering around the city, Elena tried to take in all of the beauty it exalted; it was almost overwhelming. Standing in the middle of a bridge and not looking to an exact point in the horizon, she thought it would be a great idea to visit a few music shops and restaurants, just so she could experience entering a coffee shop in London by herself. It all felt like a dream.

The wind blew her skirt and her Jane Birkin-esque fringe was everywhere, including her sunglasses, but the whole thing seemed so genuine and new that she did not bother with the hair strands blocking her vision or pinching her face. Not at all. She was in what must have been Camden Town, judging by the lots of art and music shops — and after checking the map the first time that day, she confirmed it was indeed. One shop caught her attention, simple yet so charming looking, with boxes filled with records around the forefront, which was painted in bright colors in the window frame, mainly orange and yellow. Peeking inside, Elena noticed more records and a few instruments. It was intriguing, and there she entered.

The shop was truly beautiful in the most calming and comforting way. The items were mostly older records and music instruments, those being new and very well-crafted — they must make them here, she thought, noticing after a while it was a music shop for collectors and nerds, the brands of the instruments familiar but they were all personalized for each customer. With the sunglasses atop her head, she felt like walking into a psychedelic dream, the works in the pieces filled with color and abstract drawings. After looking around the LPs and grabbing a copy of The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan, released four years back, she decided to face the instruments more attentively.

Elena was studying a new Bösendorfer piano, completely white except for the keys and the piece protecting them, she had never seen one in São Paulo when she heard the sound of the front door opening and closing right after, but did not mind. It was just her and another stranger in the store. From the corner of her eye, Elena saw him and she was amazed. The boy was tall, with strong facial features, a mustache and long curly hair that made her turn her head towards him. He was handsome, yet she saw him briefly. He was in the other section of the shop, looking around the guitars, probably for someone to help him with something. She tried not to pay attention and went back to the piano, sitting by the stool and putting Bob Dylan’s record over the top.

Surprisingly, the boy seemed to leave her thoughts quite fast, even though Elena’s stomach was turning into knots and butterflies. She began to play Quem Te Viu, Quem Te Vê, released earlier that year in Nara Leão’s new album, filled with her partnership with Chico Buarque, quietly singing to herself. Elena didn’t think much of it, it was pretty common for people to play at music shops, and the piano didn’t have a tag signaling it was already bought.

"Hoje o samba saiu, procurando você", her voice was small and sweet, and she was surprised to actually remember the words. "Quem te viu, quem te vê, quem não a conhece não pode mais ver pra crer, quem jamais a esquece não pode reconhecer…" For a moment it was as if she was still at home, playing her small black Yamaha during the weekends, learning new songs from the albums she brought home. "Hoje eu vou sambar na pista, você vai de galeria. Quero que você me assista na mais fina companhia. Se você sentir saudades, por favor, não dê na vista. Bate palma com vontade, faz de conta que é turista."

Elena happily finished the song considering she hasn’t heard the Vento de Maio in a good while. The girl was in her own little world when she began playing the firsts keys for I’ll Be Your Mirror — a tune by The Velvet Underground she discovered by accident after buying the LP just because of the cover — when someone cleared their throat behind her. Already feeling her face warm in embarrassment, Elena turned around.

"Hi", it was the man from before. Now she could really take in his looks. Strong nose, round doe eyes, big lips, bony big hands nervously playing with one another. He was wearing a flowy light-shaded pink shirt with a beige vest and Bordeaux colored pants. "I’m sorry; do you know where the owner is?" She was taken aback by him, more focused on how his messy hair made him look oh-so adorable and how thick his accent was than she’d like to admit.

"Oh, hi." Elena offered a small smile, the blush more intense. There could be seen a rosy shade creeping on the man’s face. "Actually no, now that you mentioned. I entered here and didn't see anyone."

"Weird, normally he’s here at this hour", he said looking around, and then placing eyes on the record on top of the piano. "D’ya like Dylan? He's nice", he smiled and all his teeth were shown and Elena swore she had never seen such a beautiful man in her lifetime. "What were you playing just now?" He asked, looking directly into her eyes. Moreover, she noted they were very dark and shiny. "Is that Spanish?" She could tell it was true curiosity, but Elena laughed at the question, clearly throwing him off as he blushed harder.

"It’s Portuguese. Brazilian Portuguese, more specifically", she smiled at him, cheeks flushing and looking down, trying to show the laugh wasn’t to make fun of him, just being nervous. "Completely normal to mistake one for the other. It’s Nara Leão", she noticed the name was completely new to him and smiled once again, amused. "Does Chico Buarque ring a bell?" He seemed more comfortable, yet the blush was evident. He nodded and came to sit by her right side in the stool, arms brushing together in result. Elena could feel the fabric of the shirt he was wearing in her upper arm. She was wearing a conventional top with most of her back exposed, the fabric holding itself by the knot at the back of her neck.

"De Holanda?" He spoke with that accent, her smile larger as she giggled. "Guess I wrecked it, right?" He laughed a bit, his tongue coming in between his long teeth.

"It doesn’t sound that bad, don’t worry", she laughed once more. "Either way, did you enjoy the song?" She was trying to make a conversation and maybe, just maybe, flirt a little. It was just a start.

"I did, doll. I did", he giggled, still not sure what to do with his hands but coming across as very much confident. Elena couldn’t take her eyes off of him. "Gonna look her up afterwards, be sure of that". That smile was gonna be the death of her. "If you don’t mind me asking, what are you doing here? People don’t usually play here." Elena’s eyes popped out.

"Don’t say that", she tried to sound nonchalant, but she was completely embarrassed. "It isn’t normal to play around in music shops here?" She couldn’t contain her disbelief, and he whole-heartly laughed at her, the sound soft at the ears.

"It is, just not here", he began playing a few notes on the piano, holding a grin. "It’s the kind of shop where the instruments are reserved and quite expensive. People are a bit over the top about it". At the explanation, she noticeably gulped. "Doll, don’t panic. There’s no one here", after swiftly putting a hand on her back and taking it off, he was back to playing with the keys.

"Do you come here very often?" Elena was analyzing his features, looking for a reaction.

"I come here when I don’t want to worry about stupid shite, like work and all of that jazz…" he stopped a second to look at the wristwatch on his left pulse, noticing it was almost two in the afternoon and giggling. "So yeah, I guess I come here quite a lot, even on a random Tuesday." He said laughing at himself. Tilting his head towards the girl, he watched her look at the piano so peacefully, in an almost mesmerizing manner. "What about you?" The boy asked, looking straight into her face.

"It's great to find somewhere to chill in the middle of the madness out there…" she thought loudly, cursing herself mentally for letting her strange ways come up. "Oh, it is my first time here. I thought it was obvious", she grinned, blushing a little.

"Y’have never been here before?" He was holding a smirk.

"Yeah. To be honest with you, it is my first time in England". His eyes jumped a little.

"How cool! Where are you from?" When he heard the answer, he was even more interested in the girl. "That explains the song. It must be amazing there. Well, if people are like you."

"Hum, uh, so, what were you looking for in there?" Blushing, she asked, pointing to the opposite side of the shop. "And thank you", almost above a whisper, but he heard it anyway, smiling at how nervous she looked.

"I was looking for an order I made, but I’m thankful I did not find it", he could not hold the smile much longer, so he just asked. "What is your name?"

"Elena", the girl said, her voice low. They could not stop looking at each other.

"Nice to meet you, Elena". He extended his hand out for a shake, and she took it gracefully. Her hand felt so soft against his. "I’m George", his hand was rough but comforting, leading Elena to think it was a sign.

"Since you don’t know round the city may I show it to you?" George asked as he got up, his eyebrows going up with his smile and arms open, causing Elena to laugh.

"Sure thing. I’m just going to pay for this and we can go". She checked the price in the Bob Dylan album and put a note in the cash register explaining what she had bought and what happened so the owner would not miss the item. George quietly smiled at the gesture, thinking how it wasn’t the norm to do that. And it wasn’t, but Elena was paranoid, for valid reasons, that any ambiguous action of hers could be used as reason to cause her suffering.

[reashot]

Merry Schneemas Or how the Jacques stole Christmas...

(This one is for all my followers that somehow still sticks around for me. Merry Christmas y'all.)

Jaune: Hey Weiss. I added one more person to the Christmas party I hope you don't mind.

Weiss: Oh of course not Jaune this is Christmas. The more people the merrier. So who do you invited?

Jaune: Oh it's your dad.

Weiss: YOU INVITED MY DAD!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

At Casa De Schnee.

Jacques: Hate, hate, hate... Double hate! ....LOATHE ENTIRELY!

Klein: Sir, there seems to be a message to you from one of young mistress Weiss's friend.

Jacques: A letter for me?

*rips open letter*

Jacques: I am to be invited to my daughter's Christmas party?

Klein: Then shall I make preparation for the travel, sir?

Jacques: Typical of my most useless children to invite me with just one day left before Christmas. But unfortunately I cannot because it will ruin my schedule...

Four o'clock wallow in self pity.

Four thirty stares into the Abbys.

Five o'clock solves world hunger. Tell no one.

Five thirty jazzercize.

Six thirty dinner with myself. I can't cancel that again.

Seven thirty wrestle with my self loathing.... I'm booked.

Of course I can move the self loathing to nine. I could still be done in time to lay in bed and stare at the ceiling as I slowly slipped into madness...

Screw it I'll just ruin Christmas for everyone. Klein let's go down into my evil lair and help me prepare a plan to ruin Christmas once and for all.

Klein: *sigh* As you wish, sir...

- 🎶

You're a sly one, Mr. Jacquees,

A schemer through and through,

You hoard all the treasures,

And share with just a few,

Mr. Jacquees...

You're as selfish as a miser, with a heart of frosty blue!

- 🎶

You're a taker, Mr. Jacques,

With greed that knows no end,

You’d steal a kid’s last cookie,

And mock them in between.

Mr. Jacques...

You’ve got the charm of a cobra, and the kindness of centipede!

- 🎶

Oh Mr. Jacques, oh Mr. Jacques,

What a wicked plan you weave,

Taking joy and spreading gloom,

On every Christmas Eve!

- 🎶

You're a hoarder, Mr. Jacques,

With a soul as dark as night,

You’d snatch the stars from heaven,

And claim them as your right,

Mr. Jacques....

You’re the icy chill of winter, in the absence of the light!

- 🎶

Oh Mr. Jacques, oh Mr. Jacques,

Will you learn to give instead?

Or will you hoard the Christmas cheer,

Until the joy is dead?

- 🎶

At Weiss's Christmas party...

Jacques:

"Ah, look at them, snug in their beds,

Dreaming of treasures while resting their heads.

But little do they know, when the sun starts to glow,

Their stockings and gifts will all be... mine to stow!

Look at this tree, so gaudy, so bright,

Who needs such sparkle on a cold winter's night?

Or this plate of cookies—what a wasteful delight!

I'll take the lot; yes, I’m doing this right.

They call this Christmas? What a frivolous thing,

Tinsel and toys tied up with a string.

A feast for the table, laughter, and cheer?

Bah, what nonsense—it’s greed they hold dear!

Oh, but not me—no, I see the truth.

It’s all just a sham, a lie taught in youth.

So I’ll clean out their treasures, take all that I can,

For I am Jacques, the taker, the man!

What’s this? A doll? Into the sack!

A shiny red train? On my shoulder, it’ll stack!

No gift too small, no bauble too plain,

When I’m through, not a trinket will remain!

But hush now, Jacques, be quiet, stay sly,

No sense in waking them, not even a cry.

For by morning, they’ll see the folly they’ve made,

And I'll revel in triumph, my dues fully paid!"

*click*

???: S-santa?

It was Jaune the biggest boy in the party waking up after a six person orgy.

Jaune: Santa. I knew it. I knew you're real.

But why are you taking all the presents?

The blonde himbo wonders. Jacques ever the shrewd man. Simply answers.

Jacques: Why I'm taking them back to my workshop on the pole. To have it fixed you see.

This is it there's no way there's someone dumb enough to believe this. Jacques thought.

Jaune: Wow. I didn't know the present was broken. Thank the gods you're here when you did Santa.

Jacques: (Wow... He is not the brightest lightbulb on the Christmas tree.)

Yes you read that right Jaune has a Christmas orgy now stop asking.

[warmaidensrevenge]

Cuddle bugs

Pairings: Eddie Munson x fem!reader

A/N: Greetings love ones. This is just a little blurb I had this week. Something a little cute and cuddly. I hope everyone is doing well and you're taking good care of yourselves. I appreciate all of you. Thank you so much for reading and following me. Kay love ya. Byyyyyeeee.

I do not give permission for my work to be posted anywhere else. Please respect all creators. Also, all pictures and songs are from a Google search and found on Spotify. A credit to original posters and artists. Thank you for your work.

Word count: 4,281

Warnings: 18+ No minors. Angst, doubt, pinning, sexual implications, language and not proof read.

Summary: Pinning after Eddie is crazy. But a good kinda crazy.

Fucking Eddie Munson. The crazy beautiful lunatic with the voice that's a cross between angelic and rock legend. Voice so deep in the mornings it practically ruined your underwear every time he said 'Mornin' sweetheart''

Was he talking to you that day? Or any day for that matter? Well no. But you imagined it was. You imagined that his smiles were directed towards you when he ordered his morning coffee and scrambled eggs. With 1 sausage patty and 1 bacon strip. You pictured that it was you his eyes slit for as he smiled, giving thanks as you placed his meal on the counter.

But, it never was. Eddie never sat in your section. 4 long years waiting tables at Benny's and not once had he looked into your eyes.

Oh how you long for a glance. For one little smile. Just something, anything that would give you an indication that he, Eddie Munson knew you were on this plain of existence.

How could you possibly be this enamored with someone you never met? How is it that in the 4 years since you moved to this small town, that you had never said so much as a hello to him.

Sure you saw him all the time. Around the town, running errands, at the grocery store, at the movies, even at the salon. Still, you were invisible to the one you wanted the most to be visible to.

It was ridiculous, you knew that. Pinning after a guy that was clearly way way out of your league. But you couldn't help it.

You wanted to know what it was like to be on the receiving end of his smiles. To finally know what it felt like for him to rest his eyes on you.

Would you look away? Would you blush? Or would you find some sliver of courage to finally say 'hello can I take your order?'

Well you would get your chance.

…

You picked up an evening shift on a Friday night. It was prom season so Benny needed an extra pair of hands. Since his restaurant was one of the very few decent places to eat in Hawkins, he was anticipating being busy. Just not as busy as it actually was.

Originally, you were planning on going out on a blind date that night. But when you heard the desperation in Benny's voice you had to cancel.

Maybe it was for the better. You didn't want to go on a date with some random guy. But your grandpa insisted you go out with a young fella he met at the bank earlier that week.

All you knew of the guy was that he helped your grandpa pick up his checkbook after he dropped it. And that his voice sounded nice over the phone and he was the same age as you. But thank goodness for Benny.

When you walked into the restaurant, it was so loud that you couldn't even hear the jukebox. You immediately went to the back room and dawned on an apron. You didn't even put on your name tag before you went back up front.

The second you walked out the swinging doors you saw Eddie walking in. Your eyes followed him to an open seat at the counter. Once you noticed that he was in fact in your section, you turned around and went through the door again. You stood there shaking your head.

" What is it?"

You looked to the side and Benny was giving you a concerned look. But then that faded when he looked out of the window area. He chuckled a little and went back to work.

" Kiddo, I need you out there to get his order."

You sighed. " Can't you just put it in? He always orders the same thing."

"Tonight might be the night something changes."

Not likely. You thought. Creature of habit that one.

You took a deep breath and went out.

You cleared your throat lightly. " H-hi."

Eddie smiled at his menu. " Hey. Um can I get the uhh…the chicken fried steak."

You smiled to yourself. " With fries instead of mashed potatoes and buttered corn? Mountain dew, no ice?"

He looked up from his menu and tilted his head to the side. " umm yeah. How did you-"

"ORDER UP!" Benny shouted.

Before you could look up from your order pad you jumped and turned around. Where you were met with Benny grinning at you.

When you looked back Eddie was smiling. His eyes were down as he took off his jacket.

Damn it!

" I'll be back with your drink."

You huffed a little as you took the order to the customer. After, you grabbed Eddie's drink. When you went back to give it to him he was heading towards the bathroom.

Aww.

A few minutes later his food was ready and you tried to give it to him but, someone had already placed it on the counter and took off to help other customers. That's when you saw Eddie lift his finger to ask something, but he got ignored.

You looked at the table full of kids in their pretty dresses and cute tuxedos.

" Your order will be up shortly."

When you turned, you heard someone say that they hoped none of their food went missing before it got to the table.

You paused for a second feeling the hurt, then shook it off and went to help Eddie.

You place a bottle of steak sauce and a small bowl of bbq sauce in front of him.

You were so embarrassed from what just occurred that you couldn't take your eyes off the ground.

That's when Eddie grabbed your hand. Your eyes shot up to his rings that littered his fingers.

" Hey. They're stupid kids. Don't listen to them."

You furrowed your brow a little and nodded.

" Umm do you need anything else?"

He let go of your wrist. " No. Not right now. Thanks for bringing me sauce."

You pressed your lips together and turned to fill more drink orders. Now all you could think about was how warm and rough his hand was. It was rougher than you expected it to be. But the way he held your hand so gently, you could have died.

Damn it. I should've looked at him.

A little bit later you went back to check on him. As soon as you saw he bottomed out his pop, you brought him another.

" Thanks doll."

You blushed. You knew you did. You could feel your cheeks get hot.

" You're welcome Eddie."

When your eyes met finally, your heart nearly stopped. He was smiling… at you!

" Are you new here?" He asked.

You couldn't talk. You could barely breathe. All you could do was shake your head.

He tilted his head a little. " Huh? How long have you worked here?"

You had to look away. You needed to so you could answer him.

" 4-4 years."

He leaned back slightly." Seriously? How come I have never seen you before?"

You shrugged. " Umm you normally sit over there."

Eddie's eyes followed your finger to his normal spot.

" Oh. Huh…guess I'm not too observant am I?"

" Well we're all creatures of habit. Sorry that you had to sit on my side tonight."

He smiled again when you looked at him. You actually seemed genuinely apologetic for it. " I like this side. I never had such good service before. You knew my order."

You smiled a little. " Well you kinda order the same thing for dinner when you come in."

He smirked. " But, how did you know that if you never served me before?"

You bit your lip and looked away again. " I'm…a really good waitress."

His chuckle made your heart flutter.

" Hmmm is that so? Okay." He said, clapping his hands together and rubbing them. " I challenge you. What dessert do I get?"

Your smile got a little bigger. " Well that depends."

He raised a brow. " On?"

You took a step closer to the counter when it got loud again. Afraid that he might not hear you over it.

" Umm did you have a good day at work today?"

He jerked his head back a little and pinched his brows together. " I did."

That's when you gave him a breathtaking smile. He was actually taken back by it. Not in a weird way, just that how could he have missed a smile like that all this time.

" Cherry pie with 2 scoops of vanilla ice cream."

He scoffed in disbelief. " Okay…what would I get if I had a bad day?"

All of a sudden you thought that this conversation made you look like a creep. So much so that you didn't want to answer.

" Ummm. Haha." You shrugged." I-I guess I'm not as good as I thought I was."

He leaned forward on his elbows. " Care to take a guess at it doll?"

You took a small step closer to the counter. About half an arms length away from him now. Even though you didn't want to tell him that you actually did know what he ordered. The way his big brown eyes looked at you made it so that you never wanted to lie to him." Well umm let's see…Maybe...Triple chocolate cake…with chocolate ice cream and milk."

Eddie leaned in closer and nodded. " You are a really really good waitress."

He saw you blush as you looked away.

You blushed again." I-I'll get you that pie."

When you walked away he watched you. He thought you were cute. The way your chubby cheeks got all pink and how you kept looking away from him. You were clearly shy as hell. But it was adorable.

It made him actually quite happy his blind date cancelled on him.

In normal circumstances, he would never accept being set up with someone. Well, that's because no one would actually want to go out on a date with him. And he had never been offered that before.

He had been out of highschool for almost 2 years and he still was someone who was to be avoided. Not that it really bothered him. But he was rather lonely.

So imagine his surprise when he was offered the chance to go out with an old man's granddaughter. He at first declined, but Don insisted that he had to meet his beautiful granddaughter.

That's what he was supposed to do tonight. But turned out it wasn't meant to be.

Still, this night turned out better than he expected. Even with the horny teenagers filling all the seats in his favorite place. And the shitty music someone decided to play. He was intrigued by you. The girl who has been working here for ages. The one with no name apparently.

He liked you. He liked the way you didn't wear a lot of makeup like the rest of the waitresses here. He liked how normal you looked.

Sure you were a curvy girl. But he never really had a type. He thought everyone was beautiful in their own way. Guys and girls.

What he really wanted was to be with someone who was nice. Someone who was funny as well as smart. Mostly, just someone. That's why he agreed to a blind date after all.

But as the night went on, he forgot all about her and focused on you.

Once the kids had gone to their dance, there were only regulars there. Eddie decided to stick around for a bit. Possibly get your number.

When you went back with his change, you were feeling down. He was gonna leave. The whole 3 hours he was there made the night bearable.

He joked around a bit and kept giving you compliments. For a moment there you thought maybe he was flirting. But then again, he talked that way with his other waitresses.

You gave him a soft smile."Have a great rest of your night."

He nodded and grinned. "Uhh you too."

You handed him his change and lingered there for a second.

Stop being weird and go. You told yourself.

So you did. You turned and started walking off.

" Hey doll?"

You froze. Doll? Love that for me.

" What's your name?"

You bit your lip out of sheer excitement. He wanted to know your name. You turned a little and opened your mouth to say it. But then a car backfiring blocked out the sound.

Eddie looked out the window and saw the old truck peeling out of the parking lot.

" Uhh sorry I didn't catch-" he cut off when he saw you walking into the back.

" Damn." He whispered to himself.

Now he had to come back and get your name. Then maybe your number.

…

When you went home all you could think about was how satisfying it was to finally get that smile from him. How incredible it was to look into his eyes and see the twinkle you knew was there.

Though you realize you had a small crush on the guy, you knew that nothing was going to happen. If there was, then you would leave it up to the universe.

However, you still felt bad for canceling on your date. So before heading home you made a quick phone call from the restaurant.

-

Eddie had just walked in through the door when the phone rang. He hung his jacket on the coat rack while Wayne answered the call.

" It's for you son."

Eddie nodded and went to the phone.

" Hello?"

" H-hey. It's umm y/n."

He rubbed the back of his neck. " Oh. Hey."

" Hi… Ummm so I called because I wanted to apologize again for canceling."

" Uhh n-no. You're good. I get it. Work sucks sometimes."

He heard a sweet little laugh that sounded familiar.

" It does. But I am really sorry…I was wondering if possibly…I could make it up to you. Maybe buy you a drink sometime?"

Eddie grinned. This was a first. He thought he would never hear from his blind date again. " Uhh s-sure. How about tomorrow night?"

" Okay. Umm, is there a place you have in mind?"

He nodded. " Yeah. Do you know a place called The Hideout?"

" By the river?"

He smiled. " That's the one. Say 7?"

"Y-yeah. That would be great! I'll uhh be the girl in pink."

The excitement in your voice made him chuckle." I'll see you tomorrow."

" See ya. Goodnight."

When he hung up all he could think about was how sweet you were.

-

The amount of courage it took to call him all came from talking to Eddie. Sure you didn't really want to go out on a date. But after what happened tonight, you thought what harm would one drink do? The guy seemed nice. So you were excited. And so was Eddie.

…

It was cold in the bar. So cold that you put on your sweater and buttoned it all the way up.

It was the fall, so you were expecting the cold. Just not this bad yet.

You arrived a little early to try and find a place to sit. But to your surprise the place was practically empty.

You ordered a drink and sat patiently waiting for your date.

-

Eddie had come early too. He was sitting in his van rocking out for a minute. For some reason he thought the date was gonna go well.

He walked in and looked around. He didn't see anyone in pink so he sat at the bar and ordered a drink.

It was 15 minutes until 7 and he thought he should take a leak before you came. So he went real quick. When he came back, he still hadn't seen a girl in pink. But he did see you.

He was shocked for a second but then he smiled and went to sit down.

It looked like you were waiting for someone too. You kept glancing at the door, while sipping on your drink.

For a second there he got kinda jealous that someone got to go out on a date with you. But from the looks of it, you were stood up. Him too in fact.

It was 7:20 and his nor your date showed up. He kinda expected this, but he felt bad because who would bail on a pretty girl like you? That's when he decided to buy you a drink.

When you got it the bartender pointed at him. The look in your eyes made him smile.

He waved and raised his drink. You of course blushed and looked down. But you smiled. And that's all he needed to get up and join you.

" Hello again."

He grinned." Hey doll. What's a girl like you doing in a dump like this?"

You looked away again and sighed. " I was supposed to meet someone here. But it looks like he didn't show."

He sat down and shook his head. " What a dick."

You laughed a little and took a small sip of your drink. " Last time I let my grandpa set me up."

Eddie furrowed his brow and jerked his head back. What were the odds that you were his date?

" Erm, I'm sorry. But is your grandpa named Don?"

You raised your brows and met his gaze. " How?"

He looked away and chuckled.

" Edward?"

He licked his lips and looked back at you. " Guilty."

You nervously laughed and looked down again. " Wowsers. I-I wasn't… ummm."

His smile faded. Now worried that you didn't want to be here. "Hey umm if you want to leave that's cool. I know I have a reputation and all."

Your brows pinched together as you looked up again. " So what if you do?"

Surprised by your response he tilted his head. " Well, mostly people turn the other way when they see me coming."

" I'm not most people."

He grinned a little and took a swig of his beer.

" But I'm curious. You sound so different on the phone. What did you think would happen if you told your dates your name was Edward and they met you? If you wanted to hide your identity, that wasn't a well thought out plan."

He chuckled. " You got me there. I'm not really a guy with a plan."

You nodded. " Clearly."

You both laughed and cheers each other.

A little while later you guys decided to get a late dinner.

That dinner turned into many more after that. Eddie liked you. Liked you a lot. So much that he was ready to take the next step with you. However, he had to be honest. He never had sex before. Well he had, but only with himself.

You guys have been seeing each other for 2 months now. Going on 3 and he was sure he was ready. He had planned a night with dinner and candles. With baby making music and everything. But you ended up working. So that plan was ruined. And so we're all future plans.

One night he thought maybe.

You were cuddling up next to him. Which was a mistake. He should have known better. Every time you cuddled with him like this. Your face snuggled in the crook of his neck and your hand under his shirt. With your hoodie on and legs laced with his. You would fall asleep.

And that's exactly what happened. 15 minutes into the movie you were softly snoring away. He looked at you and sighed.

" Babe?" He whispered. " Babe?"

You softly moaned and opened your eyes a little. You then smiled at him and kissed his cheek. Snuggling back in his neck after.

You were absolutely adorable. Just so damn precious to him. He couldn't force the next step with you. And that moment of cuteness he decided to just let things be.

…

It's been 5 months since you and Eddie got together. And tonight was the night.

You guys didn't have plans that Saturday evening so you thought you would make some. You went to the phone and called your boyfriend.

" Hey babes."

" Why hello doll."

You smiled and swooned. Absolutely loving that he called you that. " Hi. So umm I know we hadn't planned on doing anything tonight. But I was wondering if you would like to come over. Maybe…stay the night?"

He raised his brows. " Uhh y-yeah s-sure."

You pressed your lips together. You were actually nervous too. " I know that we haven't spent the night together yet. But I think it's time…I-I mean if you're ready that is."

" Y-yeah. No. Yeah. Umm I'm ready." He stammered.

You giggled. " Okay…so umm bring me flowers?"

He chuckled lightly. "I always get you flowers. How about I get you chocolates?"

" Hmmm you can get some of those too. But make sure to get protection."

He got nervous again. " O-okay. Umm I'll be over soon."

" Great."

When he hung up he just stood there for a second. "Shit! It's finally gonna happen."

…

When Eddie showed up he had a bouquet of marigolds and a heart shaped box of chocolates. The way he smiled and held both out nervously was so adorable. You could squeal and jump up and down from the sheer cuteness.

While smiling and taking your gifts, you motioned him to come in.

Eddie was beyond nervous. For a moment there he thought he might chicken out. But then he thought if he was going to do it with anyone, why not the beautiful shy girl that he was dating. He had waited a long time for this. And he was excited that it was going to happen. He just hoped he wouldn't disappoint you.

You guys kissed for a little while before his hands started to explore your body.

The way he lightly caressed your thighs made you tremble.

"E-Eddie?"

He lifted his head to look at you. You were gorgeous. Eyes all big and lips all pink.

" Ready?"

You licked your lips and softly nodded.

This was it. You guys were finally gonna see each other naked. When you thought about this, you pictured Eddie running away. Or not being able to get a hard on. But when he took off his clothes your core ached. His penis wasn't crazy thick or super long. But it was beautiful. So much so that you sat there for a minute, just staring at him entirely.

" Doll?"

" Hmm?" You squeaked, while looking into worried brown hues. " O-oh I'm sorry…it's just…I-I" you looked away and blushed. " Never seen one with skin."

As soon as you said that you felt like a whore. But then Eddie spoke, giving you some assurance that he didn't think that.

" Is it bad? I-I keep it clean... Do you still want to?"

You looked back up at him and shook your head. " No. It's not bad. I think it's cute. Like a little turtle neck. And thanks for being hygienic."

Your little smile and comment had him chuckling lightly. He sat down and looked you over.

You looked at yourself. It was time.

You first took off your socks. Then your bottoms along with your panties.

When it was time for your shirt you lifted it over your head. Causing your hair to whip to the side.

He reached up and brushed it behind your shoulder. When you looked up at him he leaned in to kiss you.

-

You laid there trying to catch your breath. With Eddie doing the same.

" You uhhh- you okay doll?"

" Uh-huh."

He looked at you and studied your face. He wasn't sure if you came. He sure did.

It went faster than he expected. But it was better than he could have imagined.

"Do…do you want something to eat and drink?" You asked

" Actually, I was so nervous I didn't eat dinner."

You giggled. "Me too. Why don't you clean up and I'll make us some grilled cheese."

He nodded and got up with you. While you put on your pajamas shirt and bottoms he grabbed his boxers.

You started for the kitchen when he reached for your elbow. He pulled you into a tender kiss. After he smiled at you.

You smiled against his lips. "Hurry up ok? Star Wars is supposed to come on at 8:15."

He gave you one more kiss before going to shower.

You were waiting for him in the living room when he was done. He grinned happily when you pulled back the throw that was on your lap and motioned him to come sit with you. He threw himself next to you and gave you a peck on the cheek before grabbing his plate.

" Umm babes?"

He looked at you and you looked nervous. He shoved the bite he just took into one cheek. " Yeah doll?"

You lightly cleared your throat. " umm do you think after we eat…we…could do that again."

His eyes slightly got bigger. Even though you guys literally had sex like 10 minutes ago, you wanted to do it again.

He quickly chewed his food and harshly swallowed it. " I'm done."

You laughed and put your plate down. As soon as you did, he grabbed your hand and led you back to bed.

After, he laid there listening to your soft snores. Holding you close to him while breathing in your shampoo. He loved how you always smell so good. How you were always so damn warm. So soft. He squeezed you a little bit tighter. Not wanting to ever let you go.

“ I think I love you doll.” He whispers.

You stirred a little and he smiled.

“ You love me too don't you?”

You stirred again. Only this time you turned around and cuddled into his neck. Sighing sleepily.

He smiled to himself and fell into a deep slumber.

...

@salenorona23 @browneyes528

[the-bloody-sadist]

What’s an unpopular ship that you actually really like?

I don’t think these are SUPER unpopular as ships, but because they’re from lesser-known anime (that don’t have very active fandoms at least), here are a few!

Daisuke Kanbe and Haru Kato from The Millionaire Detective: Balance Unlimited (top Kato, because Daisuke is my favorite and that means he’s going to bottom LOL)—this anime is one of my favorites and I rewatch it a lot, especially that one episode where Daisuke is just a little baby boy who gets drunk and doesn’t know how to be poor.

Also the show ships them too here’s proof:

John Watson and Friday from The Empire of Corpses—absolutely devastating (and gorgeous) movie with an after credit that ruins everything, but gods will I watch it over and over for these two. There’s just something so erotic about a man bringing his best friend’s corpse back to life as a Frankenstein-esque monster and trying to make him human again. I’ve made a post about this one before when I’d first watched it (lmao I was traumatized), but I have a big weak spot for non-verbal characters, so Friday is my favorite. I wish there was an active fandom for this so I could see ship works for them! Also, one of my favorite animation styles of all time. Everyone looks so pretty.

Fushi and The Beholder from To Your Eternity—ehehehheheheheheh this one is a popular anime but not a popular shipper fandom. LET ME DREAM, THOUGH. I drew one work for it once, I’m qualified. (Also the non-verbal character strikes again [yes I was mad when he learned to speak like a normal person eventually])

Kaname Kuran and Zero Kiryu—NOT TALKING ABOUT THEM. DO NOT MAKE FUN OF ME‼️🫵

Gareki and Yogi from Karneval—I could ship Yogi with several men in this anime but that’s just because of Miyano Mamoru magic I’m sure…anyway if you haven’t seen this one ITS VERY GOOD. Idk if it got cancelled officially or what but I hope a second season comes anyway. Still worth it, regardless!

THATS IT OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD, CLEARLY I CAN NEVER GIVE JUST ONE EXAMPLE…HOPEFULLY YOULL FIND SOME NEW WATCHES FROM THIS LITTLE LIST!

[xomoosexo]

My honest thoughts on will quackity fall

I hope so, I really really hope so because he ruined our community again when we were in the process of rebuilding it. He was selfish and didn't care about anything other than himself, his server and his reputation. He put so many people in danger, people who were related to Dream (which is gross behavior if you don't care about your old friends family) and completely innocent stans who were excited about their streamers new project

Now will he, the answer is complex;

The thing about quackity is that he's been in the content creation game to have seen everyone go down before him. He knows what makes people tick

You'll notice that with everything that's happened, quackity is never the center of attention, and when he is, he shifts the blame to someone else. The whole USMP thing was without question quackitys doing. Dream did everything correctly, when quackity announced the qsmp, Dream tweeted his support for it and then mentioned that he had a similar idea in the works so that when it came out, he could avoid getting backlash (it didn't really work sadly)

When he finally announced the USMP and people starting attacking him, he tweeted nothing but positive things about quackity, even saying that quackity really inspired him. When quackity announced the qsmps live translation mod again, nothing but support

On top of that, Dream opened the floor for quackity to even just like a tweet and let the fans know it was all good

But quackity didn't. And because Dream was the only one saying anything and Dream is the internets favorite punching bag, people attacked Dream for having a similar idea

And then when Dream eventually tweeted his public plea to quackity, he was shamed and harrassed. People took it as Dream whining even though he and his family were in literal danger

Sorry lmao, I got sidetracked

As I was saying. Quackity has never actually *done* anything. He has never done anything that can be directly pinned to him, what he does is he lets other people do things, to make their actions bigger than his, and then lets them take the blame

Anything he has directly done, qolos will say it's old or it happened so long ago (see his racist scam caller videos)

Quackity, above all, knows how to not look guilty. So if quackity gets cancelled, it needs to happen to his own community, it needs to be something that one of his actions directly and irrefutably caused, and more importantly it needs to be the qolos orchestrating their own downfall. If a dream stan even tries to say anything, even if it's one in a sea of qolos, suddenly it's dreams fault

Because what happens then, is a domino of all his past silences and the way his past silences have had direct and negative impacts on everything

I think unfortunately that quackity is too good at avoiding things and he has this uncanny ability to basically rebuild a new audience every few years making it much harder to be cancelled

that god damned law degree 😭 and people think dream is the damage control guy 😭😭 when in actuality he's just bad at it. quackity is so good most people don't even notice.

[fireember345]

Out of the Requiem and Into the Madhouse Prompt

A Code Geass Prompt

Do not own Code Geass

Anyone can use it

Requiem Failed before it was completed

Started two weeks before Zero Requiem

Lelouch begins to show signs of mental instability as Suzaku began to take notice

Suzaku was having nightmares about Euphie that she hated him for killing her brother and called him a traitor, starting to make him doubt his drive to kill Lelouch

Suzaku’s nightmares pushed him to find CC to find answers in what happened to Euphemia since Lelouch wouldn’t tell the truth

CC tell him everything that happened that day and CC add that Lelouch blamed himself for what happened and wanted to die everything that happened, believing he had nothing left

Suzaku then felt guilt as he understood the dreams and talks to Jeremia in stopping the plan, who agrees with him but was shocked that Suzaku wanted to back out

He contacts Cornelia to tell her the truth about Euphemia, the plan on Zero Requiem and the Insanity of Lelouch, pleading her to not allow Nunnally to lose Lelouch

Cornelia didn’t believe him at first but the more she thought about it and the more Suzaku spoke to her, the more convince she was on how much the world pushed him too far, that she pushed him too far

Guilford tries to convincer her that none of this was her fault, but she still remembers Marianne’s death and letting her brother and sister be exiled without helping them

Cornelia agrees to the plan for Suzaku to stopped the Requiem and get Lelouch some help

Jerimia then informed the imprisoned the truth about the Requiem, Lelouch’s mental condition and that Lelouch never forced them to obey by proving it with his Geass Canceller

Though Ohgi didn’t want to believe him, Todouh finally understood and filled with shame of driving Lelouch to insanity, Kallen distraught over this information and consumed with guilt

Jerimia then informed them that their will be a usurpation where Lelouch doesn’t have to die for it

The final night before Zero Requiem would begin, Suzaku managed to convince a final dinner, claiming he wanted to have it as his final dinner party as Suzaku, pretending Lelouch and he were still friends before being entombed as Zero

Cornelia provided sleeping drops for Suzaku to put into Lelouch’s food and drink so they could take over so easily

Once they gave the toast to the end of the Demon Emperor, Lelouch then unconscious, the rebels moved in and Lelouch was blinded and put in a straightjacket

Once everyone inside was freed and informed of the situation going on, they decided on what will happen to Lelouch

Since they made a deal that Lelouch would not be killed, they decided to have him sent to an asylum, most hoping he never gets out for being a danger to everyone and himself

While the Black Knights and others that were involved took the time to speak to Lelouch or interrogate him, while Lelouch sniped at them, trying to push them away, they realized that it was even worse than Suzaku subscribed it

Nunnally feels she isn’t ready to face her brother yet but never said why, but Lelouch believed that she still hated him in truth she thought Lelouch was better without her and didn’t want to ruin his life anymore

Lelouch is soon transferred to an Insane Asylum in Japan while Nunnally takes the throne like he wanted her to for the Requiem

The public are told that Lelouch was driven insane long before he took the throne and pinned his torment on Charles, knowing that if anyone knew the full truth it could cause massive riots

Lelouch spent two years in the Asylum alone with barely any visitation, trying to kill himself causing him to be put in solitary confinement and heavily watched, his last attempt left a permanently damaged right pelvis and would need a wheelchair to move around without any pain

Groups began trying to break into the asylum to kill Lelouch

One got the closest when they were going to televise Lelouch’s execution on their ship

Instead of cowering like they wanted him too, he encouraged them to end it

This angered the leader, who demanded why he wanted it, but was stopped by Suzaku as the new Zero and the Black Knights who saved Lelouch, despite not wanting to be saved

Seeing that the Black Knights broke their promise to help her brother, Nunnally then demanded that they return Lelouch, wanting him to come home

Despite trying to convince her otherwise, they were left with no choice but to return him to prevent a war

Nunnally apologized to Lelouch but Lelouch was confused on why she was

Nunnally then decided to do everything in her power to help her brother find his way again and love himself again

[missnatzooie]

Ideas for episodes for the cancelled Banjo-Kazooie TV show

It's a shame that the show never happened, but I can always dream!

So here's some potential ideas for episodes that would've been cool to see!

An episode were Banjo & Kazooie's friendship is challenged when Kazooie realizes that Banjo doesn't know a whole lot about her, so after another encounter with Grunty, Banjo then remembers things about Kazooie, surprising her, he even remembers her favourite film!

A flashback episode showing Mumbo when he was Grunty's teacher, and how she turned on him and gave him the skull for a head.

A pirate-themed episode where Banjo & Kazooie help Captain Blubber out with searching for some treasure, all while taking down Captain Blackeye, who wants the treasure for himself, perhaps the trio sing a pirate song, very similar to Skurvy's songs in the Donkey Kong TV show.

Banjo goes out with Bottles and the others, leaving Kazooie to babysit his sister Tooty, Kazooie is annoyed and doesn't bother with her, but after they both start talking to each other, and even with Tooty telling Kazooie that she's like the sister she never had, the two start to get along.

The duo get a letter that they've been offered roles to star in a movie, after they heard about their heroic adventures, meaning that the bear and bird are going Hollywood! Or are they?

A talent show is being held in the Isle O Hags, and everyone's hoping to win, even Grunty joins in, the duo try to come up with a good act to win, even arguing and putting a strain on their friendship, which results in Tooty trying to get the duo back together before the show and make them friends again.

Since I imagine that the show would've been non canon to the main series, Grunty's two sisters come to visit, in which the trio attempt to ruin Banjo & Kazooie's day, but the duo hilariously end up ruining their day instead.

Maybe some episodes where more obscure and forgotten characters appear and interact with the duo (Brentilda, Canary Mary, Bullion Bill & Dilberta, etc..)

I might make a part 2 because my mind is just full of ideas, and it's fun! Also I imagine that the show would have songs too!

[sophsun1]

Here are the two links where the corvette is mentioned, btw in one of them is also written that Gale’s most embarrassing moment was getting a perm when he was a kid/teen and what was it with him and Randy getting perms? Lol. wirthwoman.livejournal.com/8928.html? And wirthwoman.livejournal.com/9594.html , i also found this one and he mentioned his accident in it a bit and i always knew his accident was bad but holy shit, I’m glad he was okay, especially since he seems to have a habit of being clumsy. wirthwoman.livejournal.com/8970.html

And i fully agree with you! I swear there was supposed to be a convention last year that was rescheduled from 2021 or even 2020, but oh well. I hope one day we get another convention from them.

Hey anon!

Ty for the links they were a fun read!

I'm screaming at the fact they were in sync with their terrible haircut choices at some point, truly destined to be friends 😂

These were some of my favourite bits and I always love how Gale is on the same page with the fans on Brian -

Brian hid a lot in sex because he felt he was not free to have feelings. He said it was always the plan to have Brian and Justin together because it was a new relationship rather than Brian and Michael which was an old relationship.

Michael reminded Brian of the difficult part of his life so he was punishing him but at the same time loving him so much though not romantically. He evolved in getting to know Justin and he fell in love with Justin as a version of himself and though he acted like he didn’t care, he cared very much. He felt Brian would suffer a long lasting broken heart after Justin was gone. He also believed that Brian would eventually settle down.

He loved the prom dance but was worried about keeping up with Randy because he was fast. When asked about Brian’s rule of not eating fats or carbs after 7 he said Brian was a pathological liar.

When the subject of Justin’s injury came up, Gale surprised us by talking about his own head trauma from his accident and how it was similar to what Justin would have experienced. He said that he had no memory of anyone visiting him but he could hear them and later he dreamed about their visits. When asked if Brian ever told Justin about his visits in the hospital he felt certain that Brian would have “accidentally” let him know and that as the relationship developed that they would have discussed it at some point and Randy agreed.

A lot of these have been covered in fic so it's always nice to see the actors confirming our head canons. Gosh, yeah his accident was really serious and luckily he was okay he does seem to be very accident prone which kinda fits in with his personality.

Yes, I thought I was going insane when I kept thinking I'm sure there was a con scheduled in London around then but of course the pandemic hit and everything was cancelled but it was never mentioned again, so I thought I dreamt it lmao. Especially as Gale was supposed to be there alongside everyone which is so rare for him to leave his house! Damn you covid for ruining this for us.

[aena-blue]

Manifestation - When in Doubt

Hello everyone! This is another short post to cover a simple topic under the umbrella term manifestation to hopefully shed some light on the topic.

Today we will be talking about: doubt.

I think we all know what doubt is so I will skip the part where I explain the meaning of the word. So how do you deal with doubt when it arises during your manifestation process?

First I will start off by saying this: It is perfectly normal to feel doubt, even if you have successfully manifested many desires before, doubt may still appear. Doubt will not cancel your manifestation or set back your progress. Remind yourself of this when doubt creeps in. Doubt is perfectly normal and it will not ruin your manifestation.

Giving doubt less importance by repeating the above, helps lessen it, and does help it become more infrequent. Doubt still pops up for me occasionally, but it is so small, and it is so easily dismissed by repeating the above plus a handful of other affirmations that I use such as “I am the creator of my reality and I always get what I want”. 

It is normal to feel doubt along the way because even though you create your reality through your imagination, you do not, and can not, micro-manage all the steps and events along the way that brings your manifestation to you. This not knowing what goes on ‘behind the scenes’ so to speak, this uncertainty, can sometimes create a shadow called doubt. This shadow, as well as the one behind you when you are standing outside, are both perfectly normal and natural, but just as your own shadow, it is just there, it does not change your reality, it does not interfere or ruin with it, it simply exists. 

Your only job is to: persist. That’s it. Persist with your chosen technique and decide that your ability to manifest is far greater than any shadow or doubt that creeps up along the way. The doubt will lessen and be less important over time. It does not need to stop existing completely, because it holds no power over you or your desired outcome, regardless of how many times you perceive it, so there is no need to try and force the doubt to disappear just as you can not make the shadow behind you disappear, you can simply choose to not focus on it.

One more thing you can do if you feel any doubt is to do some more research regarding manifestation, read some blogs, listen to some YouTube videos, read or re-read the works of Neville Goddard, Joseph Murphy, Florence Scovel Shinn, Abraham Hicks or whichever teacher that has resonated the most with you regarding the law of belief or the law of attraction. Wanting some reassurance is also natural and normal and should not be frowned upon. Do whatever you want or need to do to feel calm, at peace, and more confident in your ability to consciously co-create your reality.

So when in doubt: persist with your new assumptions and do any self-soothing that helps you move past it. Knowledge is power, and repetition builds belief, so there is nothing wrong with re-visiting the topic of how your mind creates your reality as many times as you might need.

I hope this post was helpful and as always, leave a comment or drop me an ask me if you have any questions or suggestions for another post.

I now offer email coaching on my Etsy Shop for anyone who needs help, assistance, guidance or just a cheerleader for their manifestation journey.

You can use the “ask me” function for anything that might be on your mind, or on your heart. I am here for you all, always. Please note that the Ask Me’s are only open for dream interpretation, general questions or advice at this time.

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You can get a sticker for about $2 and if you make a purchase and send me an email to let me know what you bought I will happily give you a free 3 card reading for a question of your choice or 1 free email for manifestation coaching, regardless of the cost of your purchase! 🧡

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Much love and light to you all and to the universe 💛💜

~ Lady Blue 💙

[amandalaeffect]

TW!! (slight mentions of sh, and toxicity in relationships) stay safe babes<33

I really hope everyone who's currently going through what I'll be bringing up in this post, realise how loved and worthy they actually are to so many people. And even though it might not feel like anyone's there and like everything's just boring, old and hopeless, you will find the light in life and I promise you -- if you leave them, it won't ruin your life even though it feels difficult and empty at first, it'll only lead to clarity.

★☆

A lover isn't there for you to feel bad about yourself, nor are they there for you to downgrade yourself to fit their level, or block everything you love in your life out so you can focus on them. When in a committed relationship with someone, and you feel like there's something bothering you, something's off, ask yourself if they seem to be affecting you in these ways. Sometimes partners aren't toxic on purpose, or what they're doing to you isn't clearly negative and it's important for you to, in those situations, put yourself as a No.1 priority. No matter how much they tell you they love you, and no matter how many times they say they put you before them. Focus. on. yourself. if. you're. unwell.

You're not loving right if you love them more than you love yourself, and I'm not talking about genuinely loving someone and having a bigger amount of affection for your partner than you have to yourself. I'm talking about the type of love where you'd cancel all your plans with your people for them, you'd stop doing the things you love, your hobbies, you completely stop doing the small extra things specific to your daily routine for them, because they're the only thing that seems to bring you joy anymore.

I couldn't see all the signs of the relationship ruining me before it was too late, before I woke up every morning and wished I didn't wake up, before I stopped being curious and stopped deep studying the psychology books i once loved so much, stopped painting and stopped caring about how many miles I could run, before my throat remained shut and sore constantly and before my arms and legs bled every night.

A lover is there to encourage you to not cancel all of your joys out for them, and they want you to get your sleep, take care of your body, and do what brings you joy and reassurance. Because it brings them warmth to see you happy.

I finally don't force myself to be someone I'm not. I am complicated and so is everyone, he expected me to be calm and careful just because my hair was soft and I cared about perfume and bags when I'm actually very extroverted and loud, he expected me to be sensitive and small just because my skin was soft and I dressed a certain way when in reality I'm very carefree. He didn't know me, but I morphed the perception he wanted to get from me, onto what I should be, instead of just simply being myself. He would tell me he liked my feminine personality, and how shy I was, he wasn't talking to me, he was talking to the dream girl in his mind. The girl he wanted me to be.

I was sick, and it wasn't my fault. My life only circulated around him because I was afraid he'd hate me and get frustrated with me if I didn't put him before everyone and everything else I loved. I wasn't myself and as a result it ruined me. I wasn't stupid or blind for not leaving him when I knew that every time out of the hundred times I dumped him, I was so much happier, it felt like a weight had been lifted off of my whole body. I was free when he left my life. But I was attached in a way, I came back every time a few hours later. We've now been away from each other for about a month, and even though I now need to fill my time with things other than talking to him, I'm a lot happier.

I won't go into the details of the abusive specifics of our relationship, since I don't want anything triggering someone else. But I think it is important to speak up about these situations. And this applies to more people than you'll expect. No one saw what I was going through, and no one realised what was going on until it was over and they saw such a huge contrast when I got my shine back.

Now this could easily be explained, he thought I was different, it wasn't his fault, and so on. And that's okay, many relationships have this problem because one of the partners gave the other a forced version of them, if this is your case, you should talk to your lover about it. Communication is key. But, in my case and probably in many other cases, when he didn't see what he expected he'd become distant, and it'd turn into an argument, I was different and it bothered him.

Don't hold back yourself from leaving someone because you're scared of being alone, or you feel too weak for it when you know damn well they're hurting you.

❤︎

[tetsunabouquet]

Heir To The Lands Chapter 58

Masterpost Of Three Evils

Manuel slowly took the group in, one could practically see the gears in his head turning for the best exit strategy. Because that was the kind of coward he was. "I did not expect an intrusion, but then again, if reports are to be believed, you do have your ghostly spies, do you not?" Manuel said, hoping he could strike a bargain, undoubtedly. Kit's teeth clenched with a burning anger and he knew everyone around him was filled with it too, if not worse then plain hatred. Even if not directly responsible, he had a hand in every mess the Cohort created. Livvy's death, all those lost in the battle at Brocelin Forrest, Tavi's family and if they didn't cancel the curse on Livvy and Jeroen, Ty would die too. All these innocent people that they loved, with their lives and dreams cut short. All for power. All because Manuel was a coward who wanted glory without having to fight for it. Even for people who did not hate easily, Manuel was despicable enough to get them to do so. "It's good that you are getting straight to the topic. The cursed object, where is it?" Dru demanded, her voice sounding so bitter to Kit, but he could understand. She had already went through this before with Tavvy and then Livvy's actual death. She wasn't going to lose Ty. None of them were. Manuel grinned cheekily, "Now, explain to me, why I would tell you? You already know who my partners are. No offense, but how is this pathetic little squad going to hold up against the son of Sebastian Morgenstern and the Princes of Hell?" He clearly did like calling them pathetic, but Kit knew that for a snake, Manuel did have a fair point because Kit did not have the faintest clue how to drive them out of Faerie and seal them off to Pandemonium for eternity. Perhaps he might have some First Heir power that allowed him to do so, but he could not safely bank on that plan. "Your actions led to the ruin of my entire family. You owe me in blood. Telling us is the least you can do" Tavi spat with rage. "I don't think scum like him even understands such honor," Thais replied coldly. "I suggest we'd stop thinking of negotiating all together. We cannot afford him to buy the Seelie Court time in case he's intending to double cross us," Kit said, thinking that was something Ty would say. Laura stepped forward and the rest followed, with Kit, Tavi and Tomas remaining in the back. The battle began. With a ray of arrows, the two archers besides Kit started aiming at Manuel's legs who was quick to search for cover. With the absence of long range weapons or even a sword, Kit was willing to bet that if Manuel carried any weapon, it would just be a basic Seraph blade or two and was very much outmatched. And so the group of short-range fighters moved quickly, each of them moving into a different direction around Manuel, trying to trap him in his place before making the first move. "Where is the cursed object? I will give you one more time to answer before we force the information out of you." Dru demanded coldly and everyone in the room could tell she was serious. Manuel, ever the coward he was, growled yet he still spat out the truth nonetheless, "Lake Lynn. I placed it on the sand, as a border for whole Idris." Just as Thais grabbed a dagger out of her belt, planning to make another kill and spare her friends of the pain of having another Nephilim's blood on their hands, the door behind the group cracked open. Kit spun around just in time, gun in hand, to find himself face to face with the 2nd worst case scenario he could imagine. His gun was pointed right at Ash Morgenstern's forehead.

[iviarellereads]

The Fires of Heaven, Chapter 21 - The Gift of a Blade

(THIS PROJECT IS SPOILER FREE! No spoilers past the chapter you click on. Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For the link index and a primer on The Wheel of Time, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

(Cairhien icon) In which he still doesn't get it.

PERSPECTIVE: As everyone makes camp, just outside the town of Taien, Rand seeks out Asmo and asks him about the ruined city up the mountain. Asmo says the world's changed since he... went to sleep, but it could be the city he was born in, for all he knows. They exchange some words, and when Asmo starts to comment on something being Lews Therin-y, Rand says it's himself talking, Two Rivers folk don't like being betrayed. He neglects to tell Asmo that Lews Therin really is trying to take him over from the inside, for fear Asmo might flee at the thought of Rand going mad and being unable to protect him.(1)

Rand uses his angreal to set wards around the camp, though he realizes he barely needs it even for warding all that area. He's grown much stronger since he started training with Asmo.

As he gets to his tent, Avi shows him a snake, clearly killed with her belt knife. He gets angry out of worry for her, and storms into his tent. She follows him in shortly after, carrying a blanket wrapped around something. She says he wouldn't accept the belt buckle as cancelling the debt between them (he says again that there is no debt) but perhaps this will.

He unwraps a sword, and Avi explains that she wrapped it in a blanket so she wouldn't touch it, even Bair said that would be alright. It was Laman's sword, passed from hand to hand among young Aiel who wanted to carry proof of his defeat, but soon every one started to think harder about what it meant, and sold it on again. No Aiel would touch it directly, even to remove the precious stones encrusting the whole hilt and scabbard.

Rand is about to refuse it, but notices a heron mark on the blade. He realizes this is probably not just any blademaster's sword, it's likely power-wrought. He tells Avi he will accept the blade, but she can have the hilt and scabbard back. She accuses him of trying to put her in his debt again, but he says no, the scabbard and hilt he doesn't accept, so they were hers all along. She's unhappy with this.(2)

Rand crawls into bed fully clothed that night, taking off only his boots and coat. As Avi undresses, he turns his back, though it doesn't bother her to be naked around others. They discuss Melaine's recent marriage to Bael, and sisterhood ceremony with Dorindha, his first wife. He also asks what the Maidens mean by "teaching a man to sing", and he learns that when a man thinks himself in love with a Maiden who won't give up the spear, he might arrange to be taken gai'shain by her. Only, you would never look at a gai'shain as you would a lover, so the woman might make him entertain the other Maidens as they eat, especially by singing, to make the more fool of him.

As he falls asleep, Rand thinks jealously about Avi, and in his dreams, he dreams of Min and Elayne helping him against Aviendha, beating him over the head with flowers that speak to a prickly nature, a twist on the Aiel marriage ceremony.

=====

(1) We're starting to see the evening-out of Rand's madness. I may have hinted back in book 3 that it felt like he was accelerating right off the edge, and that we'd see that walked back a bit. Robert Jordan started off thinking he was writing a trilogy in book 1, then by book 3 he thought six books max. By this point in the journey, he always thought he was just 2-3 books away from the ending. You can perhaps see how well that turned out for him: even when he thought there was just one book left as he died, it had to be split into three just to be within the physical possibilities of publishing books. (2) Sometimes, Rand, you have to meet someone at their level, not yours. Let's hope you learn that bit of diplomacy before you really fuck some country up. As to the sword itself, well, that would make for a really handy cursed item wouldn't it.

[crocusina]

you'll pay for everything, disney! 🖕✨

i do not care AT ALL what other people say or think about you, disney... I HATE YOU, disney, so freaking much, you know?

i know you don't care at all, disney, of course you don't... but i'll state my case anyway.

I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU, disney, for the terrible and unforgivable things you've done. the things i wanna mention are the following, but i know they're not the only ones worth mentioning.

i will never forgive you, disney, for ruining star wars: episode ix for almost everyone. Star Wars: Episode VIII, The Last Jedi, was and still is a masterpiece! disney, you wouldn't recognize true cinema even under your freaking wing and billions of dollars.

i will never forgive you, disney, for ruining Wreck-It Ralph with your shitty sequel, which actually made fun (and it wasn't funny AT ALL) of such a precious movie that deserved its own franchise.

i will never forgive you, disney, for ruining my precious Frozen, as a movie and as a franchise. disney, you're an ungrateful piece of 💩! frozen gave you back you're fucking money and gave you your fucking high reputation. DON'T YOU EVER FORGET, disney!

I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU, disney, for cancelling and ruining for everyone the well-deserved continuation of our beloved The Owl House! disney, you fucked up our dear danna terrace real bad. damn you, disney!

WORST OF ALL: i will never forgive you, disney, for trying to ruin the real lives of the lgbt+ community and palestines all over the world with your cynical and undeniable support of true evil. you, disney, do not care AT ALL for any of these real human beings, not even if they still care for you or your sinful and double-faced brand. you alone, disney, are killing real dreams and aspirations of real people right now. but you don't even freaking care... i know.

do i need to write more? is it clear enough why i despise you so much, disney? and why i will never forgive you?

keep your fucking disney+ to yourself, disney, i don't want it and i don't need it.

the heart of my younger self, who blindly believed in you, is just shattered and can not be fixed (specially by you). i hope you're happy now, disney. besides, you feed from millennials' tears, don't you? you clearly despise us millennials so much, don't you? go fuck yourself, disney, go fuck your dirty money! i hope you rot in hell, disney.

YOU SICKEN ME, disney, you sicken me.

[actually-nagito]

maybe time doesn’t matter to you and you can go years holding a grudge ignoring someone and get mad at them every time they try to talk to you even though all theyve ever tried to ask you was to be kind and civil to them, and in return you don’t even treat them like a stranger; you treat them like the gum on the bottom of your shoe. you admit to them that they didn’t do anything to hurt you but then when they tell you that every person they try to talk to that ends up interacting with you suddenly turns on them and hates them or cancels plans or now just despises them and instead of thinking “hm, maybe I can help this person or even just be kind enough to them that we can be in the same room” you think “why are u calling me a bully how dare u” . they could say the words “I hope you have a good day” to you and you’d still get mad at them because “have a good day” implies that u we’re having a bad day before, and how dare they think you had a bad day. If you despise someone, everything they say or do will make you mad. And if that reason you despise them is because you’ve convinced yourself they did things that you know they didn’t do, that someone else did, and you’re childish enough to think that one person equals another person even though they aren’t even friends anymore, so how come you get to be the good guy? How come you get to defriend them and it was so good, but when I defriend them it doesn’t even matter to you? Did it even occur to you that maybe they hurt me too, and we had something to bond over?

maybe time doesn’t even matter to you, that you can go years convincing yourself to hate someone who has only ever cared so much about you that they WANT to be civil with you even after all you’ve done to them, how horribly you’ve treated them. Maybe I shouldn’t have to tell you that I don’t have a lot of time left for you to be nice to me. Maybe I shouldn’t have to tell you that I’m DYING for you to finally listen or show any kindness towards me. All I ever wanted was to know why you were upset, and when you refused to tell me, I backed off. Instead I just asked if we could be civil, if we could be in the same room, because we are both in this community and you are not going to kick me out of it just because of a fight you had with someone I wasn’t even a part of. I’m sorry I “remind” you of someone, but I’m not leaving the only thing I have left. That you ruined for me by the way because now I can’t even go to the events I want to go to, cause you refuse to be civil enough to be there with me. This is ALL I HAVE LEFT.

you are so fucking privileged to have what you have. You get to go to school, you get to have a job, a life, a group of friends, you get to go out whenever you want to and hang out with them, you get to walk every day freely without being in a body that is trying to kill you and will kill you any day now, without having to deal with dying young, IVE LOST ALL OF THAT. I gave up my dream because I was forced to. I became sick. When you first get sick, everyone cares about you. The popular kids from elementary school who hated you suddenly follow you and be kind to you. But not so much the second or third time. I can sit in the hospital dying now with sepsis and not even one person will come to visit me.

But I shouldn’t have to tell you how much I’ve lost and how much I’ve had to give up just to BE IN THE COMMUNITY THAT YOU SO EFFORTLESSLY ARE A PART OF. You get to live still, and the way you treat someone who doesn’t is honestly disgusting. I shouldn’t have to tell you though that I’m dying for you to be kind to me. I shouldn’t have to tell you that every illness I have points to me dying any day now, any month now, and I really already should be dead and that the fact that I am alive is a miracle right now, that the year you chose to ignore me and treat me like shit I wasn’t even supposed to survive. I was LUCKY to live that year. I was given that year to live only to still have you ignore me and treat me like garbage and not even have the community, not even have the one thing I had left. So I really do hope you’re happy with how childish you’ve been. How awful you’ve treated me and been happy about it.

Maybe I don’t make sense to you and my illness has gotten to me now, and nothing I say makes actual sense. Maybe I’m going through something you’re lucky you’ll never have to go through, because dying young is SHIT and I don’t wish it upon anyone. Maybe when you see someone struggling who is kind to you, think about how much they’ve probably had to go through and deal with and learn to be in the positive state they are. And I know that you’re not someone who has dealt with a lot, because you throw a tantrum when someone asks if you can be civil. If you can’t even handle someone you find annoying, and still be kind to them, and you’re in your early twenties, I have no idea how you’re going to deal with the workforce. What about customers who come in and are nasty to you, are you gonna be nasty back to them? What about employees you have to work with who get on every nerve in your body, are you just going to quit your job when you’re asked to work with them? What about when you DO face something awful and every person you know who could give you advice on it, you’ve pushed away and been nasty to so now you have no one to lend you a shoulder to cry on? Haven’t you ever heard of “treat others the way you want to be treated”? How can you be so mean to some people, and ask that they’re kind to you in return? That they do everything you want them to?

I told you that I’d be there for you if you needed, and that I am there to give you advice. Because I still care about you. And I still would do that for you. No matter how awful you are to me, I will still always offer my shoulder to cry on, and wise words to listen to. I will always offer a hand to hold or someone to cry into. I will always offer an ear to listen to what you need to say and what you feel about. I will always offer my eyes to see you for who you are, who you really are. Because I know this meanness isn’t you, it was taught to you. I know you can unlearn it. I will always see you for who you really are. Not your personality, but you as your soul. The kind person you are. The interests you have and the way you go about the world. What makes you feel happy and what makes you feel not so happy. What matters to you and what you would fight for. And I will still, always offer me. Because I will still always be there for you, and honestly I would probably even die for you if something harmful were to come your way.

But I shouldn’t have to tell you that I’m dying for you to be kind to me. To smile at me and tolerate me in the same room as you. I don’t care if you have to fake it for a bit until you actually feel positively about me. (I mean, that’s what you did to feel negatively about me; you faked what I did so you could have someone to take it out on) Maybe, being kind should be a common thing you do already.