#so they cancel it and ruin everyone’s hopes and dreams

[confusionmeisss]

okay, but seriously fuck netflix for never committing to more than 1-2 seasons of a show, especially when it comes to book adaptations!

[rafesaddiction]

It's still not cheating when he's your best friend – Rafe Cameron x Reader (Part 2)

See here for part 1

Summary: You're excited to see your favorite band live. But a fight with your boyfriend threatens to cancel the trip, until someone you don’t expect to see, saves the day: your best friend Rafe Cameron.

Concept: best friend, only nice to her

Warnings: mdni! – smut, fingering, public, (kinda) dubcon, cheating (reader cheats on boyfriend), hints at a toxic relationship, name calling (reader is called slut), protective!rafe

Word count: 3.1k

a/n The past weeks have been really hard for me due to health issues. But I've finally been able to write again. I had fun writing this and I hope you won’t be disappointed reading it. Please let me know your thoughts.

Taglist @dream-pink @dope-trope-105 @rafeinterlude @baby19sthings @yootvi @aaronhotchswife @lilo7sworld

He almost ruined it. For months, you had been looking forward to seeing one of your favorite bands at the beach festival. The day before the concert, your boyfriend told you he didn't want to go and he didn't want you to go either. You had a fight that started over something stupid and ended with him accusing you that you just wanted to go to the festival so you could run around naked and fool around with guys, like the slut you were. You cried when he stormed out and shut your dorm room’s door with a bang. You cried all night.

Your boyfriend was supposed to be the driver. And now on top of all the personal pain you were feeling, you had to explain to your friends that you no longer had a ride to the festival. Neither you nor one of your friends owned a car. You tried to get your parents' car, but they needed it themselves. In the group chat you discussed all kinds of possibilities, until one of your friends wrote that he had organized a car. Everyone cheered at that, and even you, despite of all those tears that kept running down your face, were relieved that you and your friends could make the trip. You not only wanted to see the band play, more important to you was to get out with your friend and forget about the argument you and your boyfriend had.

Your friend also mentioned that the car's owner would join us to the festival, to which everyone naturally agreed and was excited. You even promised to bake cookies for the mysterious hero.

But you didn’t expect it to be him. You could have guessed because that friend also went to high school with you and they had been friends then. Still, it was kind of a shock and you froze when you saw a familiar car on the parking lot next to the dorms. The Cameron family SUV.

You hadn't talked to him since that one night. That one night that should have never happened. That one night that had been the best night of your life. That one night when you had had the best sex of your life with your best friend, Rafe Cameron.

Rafe wasn't much of a texter, but he had texted you. You had written six different replies and never sent one. You had wanted to write him or call him several times. Like last night when your boyfriend had made you cry again. Suddenly you were very aware of how you must look. Your eyes all puffy from the crying.

Rafe was at the back of the car, loading bags into the trunk with the friend who had invited him to this trip.

He hadn't seen you yet, his back was turned towards you, and you were glad about it, because you didn't know what to say, didn't know how to feel. So you were more than relieved when one of your friends arrived shortly after you, pulled you in a hug and decided that you two could already get into the car which was much cooler than standing around in the burning sun, while you could leave it to the guys to load your stuff into the car.

You sat in the middle of the backseat, your friend to your right. She started chatting right away and you felt somewhat relieved that she didn't comment on your boyfriend's absence nor your puffy eyes. Shortly after, the rest of your group arrived, you were six altogether, and luckily the SUV was really comfortable – more comfortable than your boyfriend's old minivan.

Rafe got into the driver's seat, and for a moment, he looked at you through the rearview mirror, before you turned your attention to your friend, as you felt your heart skipping a beat at that moment. You were unsure whether you saw a smile flash over his face, and you didn't dare to look again to check, afraid your face might reveal too much of your inner turmoil.

Though the drive took several hours, time flew by quickly. You had been right. It was good being with your friends and having fun. Everyone was in a good mood, the music was good, there was lively chatting and laughter, there was drinking and snacking, and even stupid car games were played. You might have been a little quieter than usual, but no one seemed to notice – no one except Rafe, who again and again looked at you through the mirror, but never directly spoke to you.

The parking lot of the festival site was already quite full, but Rafe managed to find a good spot for the car. When you got out of the car, you stretched your arms and felt the sun on your skin. It was a very hot day and the car had been nicely air-conditioned. Since it was so hot and the festival was on the beach anyway, your friends and you decided to just wear your bathing suits. You got out of your jeans shorts and shirt, as you were wearing your bikini underneath. You saw Rafe take off his shirt, and one of your guy friends commented that he should put it back on as it would make them all look like total wimps compared to him. There was laughter and Rafe smirked as he casually flexed his chest muscles. It was true. Rafe did look fitter than most guys. It wasn't too much muscles, but he was big and looked strong. Sometimes you thought he looked too good to be real, like a statue of some Greek god… Rafe had caught you staring at him and you quickly averted your gaze, feeling heat crawling to your face.

Since everyone was hungry, your friends and you decided to get some pizza and drinks, and after that more drinks. Everyone was relaxed and had a good time. You smiled a lot – except when you looked at your phone and saw the notifications. Your boyfriend had sent you several texts and voice mails. You didn't open them, you had already seen in the preview window what those texts were about. Obviously he hadn't calmed down. If anything he was even more angry, even more hurtful in his messages.

When looking at the phone, you also saw the time. The band you wanted to see was about to play soon. You asked your friends to go with you closer to the stage, but no one really wanted to move. They said you could hear the music perfectly well from their current spot, besides the booze was here. To that everyone cheered and raised their cups. Everyone but Rafe.

“I’ll go with you.”

“You don't have to. You can stay here, enjoy yourself. I'll just go on my own.”

“Quit that bullshit,” he said and came closer, he had put his cup away. “I'm going with you. So you won't get lost in the crowd. Besides, I know how much you want to see your third favorite band live.”

“You remember,” you gazed up at him, who stood now directly in front of you. You had to shield your eyes since the sun was shining so brightly, but you could definitely see a smile on his lips.

“Of course, I remember,” he said in a low voice, almost whispering and you couldn't help it, you gasped for air.

The smile on his lips turned into a smirk as he continued, “How could I ever forget you dancing to that one song for like all of junior year, hm? You're gonna do that dance again? Wouldn't wanna miss that.”

And he started moving his hips and his arms in a weird clumsy rhythm, imitating what was supposed to be you dancing. It looked ridiculous and you had to laugh.

You punched his shoulder. “Stop that. That's not how I dance.”

He kept on moving in that awkward way and you tried hard to stop laughing – suddenly feeling lighter and more relaxed than you had in weeks – since that night.

You crossed your arms in front of your chest and pushed out your lips, pouting, but couldn't fight the giggles, as Rafe tried some elaborate pirouette which caused him to stumble, but he stopped, directly in front of you. All of a sudden he was calm and there was something so soft in his features which you knew he rarely ever showed anyone.

“Let's go,” it was almost a whisper, then he added in a louder voice. “We don't want to miss that song and that dance.”

You punched his chest, your hand almost hurting as it hit the hard muscle – and felt his hot skin. But you let him take your hand and lead you from the group of your friends who were engrossed in some conversation of their own. His strong hand holding yours felt good, it felt right. Rafe was your best friend. He was the one you trusted most, he was the one who made you laugh, no matter what.

Rafe walked towards the stage and tugged you along with him. When there were more and more people around, he pulled you close to his body. Still holding one of your hands, his palm touched your back as he walked behind you, keeping you very close. He made sure you didn't get lost in the crowd. His body shielded you from anyone bumping into you or spilling their drinks on you.

The place got more and more crowded and he had to slow down. You turned your head to look at him.

“This is okay,” you said.

Rafe frowned as he looked at you. “No, it's not. We're going to the front row.”

“No, Rafe, this is totally okay. I can see enough from here.”

His frown deepened. “No, you can't. You're too tiny.”

At that comment you frowned. “I’m not tiny. You're just a giant,” you said and wanted to punch him with your free hand, but you didn't have enough space to move your arm, so you just ended up placing your palm on his chest. Feeling his hard muscle, feeling his hot skin, and his heart beating. He placed his hand on yours and your breathing hitched.

Rafe held you even tighter to his body as he proceeded to walk to the stage. His strong arms held you, protected you. And despite all these people around you, you only felt him, his presence, his closeness, all around you. Your skin tingled where it touched his, and that tingling grew stronger and became something else. Something that went so much deeper. And you felt a too familiar pulsing in your core.

Some people complained and pushed and shoved, but one look at Rafe’s face and stature and they made room for you and him. He really managed to secure a spot in the front row for you, right in the middle and you got the perfect view of the stage, standing directly behind the first barrier. Only a few feet of empty space separated you from the stage. Rafe was standing directly behind you, his hands to both sides of you, resting on the rail, his arms caging you in – shielding you.

You wanted to turn and thank him, but in that moment the band entered the stage and started playing their first song. You were captivated by their performance and the great atmosphere their music created. There was cheering, singing, dancing all around you. People were pushing and shoving, but you only felt a fraction of that as Rafe's body pressed closer to yours. He was shielding you from all the crowd's wilder movements, while you could enjoy being part of this experience safely.

You even danced a bit, your back rubbing against Rafe's front. When you craned your neck to look back at him, you saw him grin. And you felt a grin on your own face.

The set list was great too. They played all your favorite songs and the lead singer managed to put some kind of spell on the audience when they played a couple of slower songs. Or that spell was just on you, and not caused by the singer, but by something or someone else.

You leaned back a little, your head resting against Rafe's broad chest, feeling his heart beat. You closed your eyes and your hips swayed to the slow rhythm of the song. Your skin touched his skin. And you didn't mind the thin film of sweat covering his body from the heat of the bright sun and the crowded place. You smelled his scent so intensely, it made you almost forget where you were. It just made you feel.

Your eyes opened, your upper body leaned forward, resting your arms on the barrier. You watched the singer putting all his emotions into each and every note. Goosebumps crawled over your skin. But it wasn't from the singer's raspy voice. Rafe's hand touched your hip. Your back arched a little as your butt was pushed back. You gasped. Rafe's hand rubbed over your butt cheek, you felt the rough palm, the long fingers, the cool metal of his ring on your skin. The touch was light, too light, too gentle, too soft. Your mouth opened, but all sounds were drowned by the music and the noise of the people.

His fingertips, just his fingertips, tenderly touched the back of your thigh, moved to the inside of your leg. They moved up and one finger rubbed over the fabric of your bikini bottoms. It was like scratching and you flinched, but that didn't make him withdraw his hand. Instead, the finger pushed harder, pushed to part your folds, pushed to tease you, while the layer of clothes still was between you and his digit.

You felt heat rushing through your body, neither caused by the sun nor by the heat of the people moving around you. You did not perceive any of them. You just felt him, while your eyes were directed at the band on stage performing their emotional song.

Rafe’s finger moved along your slit with pressure. Through your bikini panties his fingertip was able to find your most sensitive spot at once and he began teasing it mercilessly. No one heard it, but you were sure, Rafe felt that you were moaning. You felt a growing need that threatened to take over all your senses. As if he knew that, felt that, perceived that, Rafe pushed the fabric aside – tantalizingly slow. And his fingers found you wet and yearning for his touch. A mewling sound escaped your lips as a finger pushed inside you. You felt your walls clench around the digit. And you felt Rafe tense behind you and you were sure you heard a groan.

The song had changed, you only now realized, its rhythm was faster, wilder. And so was Rafe's touch. His finger thrust into you, stretching your tightness, pushing deep, making you squirm. Your hands gripping the metal of the barrier for support. Your legs started shaking as Rafe added a second finger and began fucking you with his digits. He curled them inside you and your head went back to your neck as you moaned shamelessly. He pulled his fingers out completely, just to push them into you even deeper. Again and again.

The song grew louder, harder, fiercer – and so did his finger-fucking you. Your body trembled, your voice was hoarse and you were whining now. He pushed you further and further, closer and closer to the edge.

Then, all of a sudden, he leaned over you – maybe he was pushed by the crowd jumping about, maybe he needed to feel you closer too – and you could feel his hardness press against your back. You pressed your eyes shut as your climax hit you, hit you hard. The wave swept you away and carried you to another place, where all you did was feel, feel this, feel him.

His fingers fucked you through your orgasm. He had wrapped his arm around you, was holding you close to his body, and thus was also keeping you from falling, since your legs were shaking and you feared you no longer could trust them to support you.

Slowly he pulled his fingers out. And even though you still felt echoes of your high, this also left a feeling of emptiness inside you. A longing that was always there if he wasn't inside you.

You felt his breath close to your ear and heard him say something, but the music drowned his words. You turned your head, looking at him with hooded eyes and saw him lick his fingers.

The rest of the concert felt like in a haze. Rafe kept his arm around you, holding you close, while you watched the band play but could only listen to his heart beat, as your body was still shivering.

When the show ended, people started moving and Rafe took a step back to give you room to turn around to him.

“Thirsty?” he asked you, and you just nodded, not trusting your voice.

His hand on your back, Rafe guided you through the crowd back to your friends, and you had to admit to yourself that you wouldn't have found them on your own.

Rafe ordered something to drink for you at the nearby bar while you stood with your friends. One of them commented that you were glowing and that you looked totally blissed out. You touched your cheek and felt the heat, and felt that smile on your face. She asked if the show had been that good and you replied that it had been amazing. Your voice was hoarse and she suspected it was from you singing along with the band so loudly all the time. You didn't comment on that, just felt another wave of heat going through your body. As you turned, your eyes met Rafe's. A little smirk on his lips as he put a cup into your hand and took a swig out of his own.

[starryschoolgirl]

Good Husbandry

Summary -> While you view preparing for your honeymoon as finding all the hottest destinations in Honolulu for tourists, Elvis knows that he must help you, his soon-to-be virgin bride, understand all that comes with the honeymoon. What a good man he is, to give you a little hands-on lesson on what good husbandry is.

Warnings -> Lovely domestic things, innocence/purity kink, religious undertones, smut, just the tip trope, hinted breeding kink, swearing, Elvis gets a little rough, mention of RFK's assassination, the reader is overbearingly sheltered when it comes to topics like sex, cum eating, fantasies of "ruining" a girl's vagina, there's definitely some plot here I won't lie, loved writing this a little too much.

WC -> 7.3k

A/N -> This is an installation of the Baby Love AU. Find Masterlist Here!

The past few days had been a whirlwind of emotion for everyone. Elvis was doing press conferences for the NBC special he was about to start filming for, and while you usually go with him, with the recent assassination of Robert F. Kennedy, it was decided unanimously that it would be best if you were at home.

Elvis would have liked to keep you by his side, but given your family’s public connection to the Kennedys he knew that the press might behave in an uncalled for manner toward you.

It was also to be noted that he’d been very patient with you the entire week, after all you did know the man. He was a close family friend, a lot closer to your father, mother, and older brother than you. But there were still tears shed a few nights ago when it had occurred.

Most of that week you sat around the current California home, keeping the couch company like you were the prettiest of pillows as you spent most of your time on the telephone with your hysterical mother and being soothed by your childhood nanny who now watched your younger brother. You’d decided to write a letter to Ethel, she was no doubt being bombarded with phone calls from press and other family with the recent death of her husband. 

It was a rough way to start the month, it was only 6 days into June when something as tragic as that had occurred. 

You were certain things would change in regards to the guest list of your wedding just a little over a week away, for one you could understandably count on the possible absence of Ethel Kennedy and her children. Aside from her it wasn’t Elvis’ side you were worried about, because when Elvis says jump they all say “how high?”. It was your own side that worried you.

You knew it was selfish and stupid to be thinking of that at a time like this, those poor Kennedys have been through so much. But you couldn’t help the worrisome thoughts that lingered in your mind. Your parents already didn’t approve of Elvis all that much, with the influx of emotion that this event caused they might just cancel all together and then you’ll be left without anyone from your own family.

And that alone could cause an emotional storm to brew in Elvis. He always expressed his own disdain for your family, but you knew there was guilt deep down that he felt. And if he realized that he were the reason your wedding day went without family, he would be angry with you and himself. But that was only because he felt things very deeply, he was caring in that way.

So you made sure the past few days to get in as much reading as possible, so that even if your wedding doesn’t end up being the dream you hoped for, that your knowledge of your honeymoon destination would make up for it.

It had to be perfect. You had to be perfect.

"We better get up and get changed soon..."

You hummed absently at Elvis' words as your eyes continued to skim along the page.

"Wouldn't want the rest of the boys seein' ya in ya nightie"

You hummed once more at whatever he had said, much too focused on your book to pay much mind. Elvis noticed this and laughed softly as he asked,

"What are ya readin' Honey?"

You looked up from the book that you had been enthralled in for the past half-hour to see Elvis staring at you over one of his religious books, he had a crooked smile and a quirked eyebrow, his facial expression likely from the fact that you were actually reading a book.

You smiled cheekily and crawled closer to him on the bed, resting your cheek on his shoulder as you quickly card your floral bookmark in between the pages you were on before closing it and presenting it to Elvis, your fiancé.

"It's a book all about Hawaii, it has some of the best secret locations on all the islands, including Oahu"

You smiled up at him as his eyes scrolled to look over at you then at the book, a smirk playing on his lips as he did so. He set his book down on his lap to grab yours, one of his fingers tracing over the cover as he murmured honestly,

"Well Babylove, I don't think these locations are all too secret anymore considerin' the book is 7 years old"

You hummed softly at the statement. Truthfully you only picked the book off the shelf because one, it said Hawaii which is the place you and Elvis were planning to be your honeymoon destination, and secondly, it was pink.

Elvis shook his head fondly and brought a hand up to ruffle your hair, thankfully at the moment there were no rings on his fingers to pluck and pull at the strands of your hair. With that in mind you happily leaned into the touch like a cat getting its fix from its owner.

You roll your body closer, dragging one leg over Elvis' legs as if he were one of those long body pillows. You snuggled your face into his chest, feeling the silky fabric of his short ascot scarf. He'd recently begun wearing them often, you didn't mind it because you could tug him by his scarf whenever you wanted a kiss.

Your voice was soft and murmured into the fabric, "I wanna start our marriage off right, our honeymoon has to be perfect, and this book,”

You pull back for a moment to grab the book and open it to the first page. Elvis watches with an amused smile as your dainty little finger flies across the dust-colored pages to the sentence that you read aloud,

"These spots will guarantee a sweet time with that special someone"

Elvis’ voice is laced with harmless sarcasm (that you don’t quite catch) as he says,

“Oh well if the book says so, it has to be true”

You then excitedly close the book and show Elvis the back cover, where a quote from what must've been a review was laid out in bold, "Has the hottest places for America’s hottest honeymoon destination"

Elvis laughed softly. His arm wraps around your shoulder as his hand runs up and down your back, calluses grazing the delicate fabric of your satin nightie with a scratching sound before taking its rest on the curve of your ass. He explains, "Well little one, there's a bit more to honeymoons and marriage than that"

Your eyebrow quirks in the way you learned from watching Elvis' own eyebrow within the span of your relationship. It looked as if you were suspicious of Elvis, thinking he was trying to pull the wool over your eyes.

With a gentle hand Elvis removed the book from your hand and set it on the nightstand where he then set his own book on as well. You laughed softly as Elvis’ hands pulled you into your place, till you straddled his lap innocently for him to explain something,

“Well Babylove, a big part of marriage and honeymoonin’ is good husbandry.”

You go silent for a second, thinking to yourself as your fingers trace little shapes on Elvis’ chest absentmindedly. When you come to the conclusion that you’re clueless on the subject you ask,

“What’s husbandry?”

Elvis’ hands run along your sides, running up to your ribs, down to your hips, then repeating their cycle, it was in his own absentmindedness that he did it as he explained,

“Well, husbandry is kind of cultivatin’ and makin’ use of land, sorta like plantin’ a seed and takin’ care of it.”

“Like farmers do?”

“Very good girl, like farmers do. Now ya see, that comes into play within things like marriage and honeymoons. To be a farmer, the first thing ya gotta do is plant a seed, then ya get your farm goin’ and everythin’ is just dandy as long as you keep takin’ care of that seed.”

You nodded your head along to what he was saying, it made sense. But what did that have to do with your honeymoon?

“Just as that goes, to be a husband, you also gotta plant a seed. So ya see, in marriage, instead of a farmer plantin’ a seed, it’s the husband who plants the seed, and he plants it right in your petals”

You grimaced with embarrassment as you heard Elvis mention your “petals”. Such talk was still very new to you. Having been raised by the church most of your life, and having only attended catholic private schools, you’d been taught that such talk was deplorable and vulgar. 

Elvis seemed to be trying to undo all their teaching as he was very free and open with topics such as that one.

He could see the way your face began to dust a precious pink along your cheeks as you stared down at your hands scrunching up his shirt’s fabric within them. He couldn’t help but adore his sweet girl and lift your chin to take in the entirety of your innocence, the privilege of being innocent and naive having been fed to you with a silver spoon since you were a baby with your family’s fortune.

Your education didn’t span too far, it was done under the assumption that you’d be protected from the roughness of the world, the riff-raff. And though Elvis was a fair match monetarily-wise to your parents and the people you were raised around,with enough money to keep you as far away from the world’s roughness as possible, he was still considered to be in that riff-raff crowd.

Oh, what a shame for your family and the rest of your upper-class culture to have a rare purity, like you whisked away from your family made up of good breeding and a pure bloodline by a man like Elvis who would screw it all up when he one day planted his seed into your womb, making your once purebred French bloodline his own as he mixed himself into the history of your DNA to make a child that you will carry for months.

A child you will love to no end while your ancestors roll over in their graves.

Just the thought of it all made Elvis giddy.

His smile is cheeky as he grabs one of your nervous hands to soothe you while also keeping a grip on your chin with his other hand, his voice is breathy from speaking through a laugh,

“Now don’t let me lose ya, still got some splainin’ to do”

You can’t help but continue to duck your head away into your shoulder to hide your embarrassment, till Elvis pulls you out of it with his sweet little nickname for you,

“C’mon now Bubbles, need ya to keep listenin’ f’me”

You look up to meet those dark blues of Elvis’ that pierce with a strange softness.

“To seal the marriage a man plants his seed in a woman, and from then on he has to take care of that woman, that’s good husbandry. That’s part of what happens on a honeymoon. Understand?”

You nod slowly, and mumble a soft, “I understand”, before laying yourself down on Elvis, making yourself comfortable as you lay your head against his chest, your arms wrapping around his torso, somehow squeezing their way between Elvis' frame and the mattress.

Marriage seemed scary. Ever since you had gotten engaged to Elvis you felt a different weight begin to fall on your shoulders. And though you were excited to marry Elvis, you couldn’t help but remember how your mother described marriage to be with your father.

As Elvis dragged his hands along your body tracing every poke of a bone through your skin he closed his eyes, showing his affection through the action, you thought back to how marriage was represented to you as a little girl.

There were nights when your father stayed late for work that you’d sit on the floor between your mother's legs as she sat on the sofa, by then she would be nursing her 4th glass of wine that night, and let her braid your hair before bed.

You’d whimper softly as her diamond-littered gaudy engagement ring, which was comparable to the one you now owned, would catch on some strands of your hair. But you wouldn’t voice any complaint as she was too busy voicing her own, complaining to an 8-year-old you about your father’s “wandering eye”, how he loves work more than he loves his family, and that he can’t even function without a pill, in what sense she meant “function” you’d never know, because you only saw your father as a personal superhero. The man who would bring gifts like Santa, the man who would read you to bed on the rare nights he could, the man who held the whole world in his hand every time he held you.

You didn’t recognize the man your mother would drunkenly describe. And soon after you wouldn’t recognize your own mother as she would break into tears and talk about how it’s her fault, and that she knows it all falls on her to make the marriage work, she just needs to try harder.

You’d caress her knee and try to soothe the adult, “It’s okay Mommy”, while mustering up the courage to promise her that, “It’ll be okay”

And then at the end of the night, she would turn you around and slur with as much affection as she could muster,

“Always tend to your husband Sweetie, don’t make a prude of yourself like me, don’t make a nagging wife, be pleasant and pliant and you’ll be a happy wife”

Of course you weren’t married yet, and that might’ve been what was causing you to be such a worrywart, because you were scared of the unknown. That’s why you’ve been trying your best to find ways to start the marriage off in the best way possible.

But you now had a whole other thing to worry about perfecting, husbandry. 

It would all work out though, as long as you heed your mother’s words and be a pleasant, pliant wife, you’ll be just fine, and you’re confident that Elvis would never turn out to be the kind of husband that your mother described your father to be.

You mumbled into the fabric of Elvis’ shirt,

“How does a man plant his seed in a woman?”

Elvis’ hands came to a halt at your words. He thought he’d gone over this kind of thing with you before, then again there was never much need to. You never prodded for more than you were given, because you were simply unaware there was more you could get out of the pleasures of your body.

Elvis stared down at the top of your head as you kept your cheek resting on his chest, he realized how abstract your thoughts must’ve been compared to his within your relationship. He had spent countless nights holding himself back from making you his completely, there were so many times he easily could’ve done so. So many times you put yourself in the position to be vulnerable to the disgusting thought of a man who knew the pleasures you could give.

Had Elvis been a different man he would’ve done so by now, taken you shamelessly and left you crumpled on the floor next to your crumpled up clothes.

But he’d be reigned back by the thought that God wouldn’t make something like you, something so pure and holy, for sin. Had Elvis not been a god-fearing man he would’ve had his way with you.

All those nights he spent eating you out, listening to you finally break that voice box of yours in, the only thing he’d thought about was how much louder you would be when he could finally fuck you, meanwhile you thought that the sensation guided by Elvis’ tongue that momentarily blinded you was as good as it got, was as close as you’d get to God.

Oh Elvis could show you so much more, teach you so much more, touch you so much more. And as shameful as it is, he’d be a liar if he said that the fact that he wanted to be the one deflower you didn’t play a role in your engagement.

“I could show ya how it’s done Honey, would ya be alright with that? It’s a little different from anything we’ve ever done”

You sat up on his lap and nodded as you kept a hand to support yourself up on his stomach. He basked in the sight of you with a small smile, digging his hands through your hair like roots in the dirt, so deep and entangled it could be hard to tell where your hair began and his hands ended.

It wasn’t at all painful in the way your mother’s hands used to rest in your hair during her drunken stupor.

It was gentle as Elvis always was.

He used a gentle force to pull you close enough for him to press a kiss to your forehead for a moment and hold it there, you closed your eyes and let out a breath, any stiff stress in your body leaving at the touch of Elvis’ lips.

He pulled away, lips and hands.

“Lay down Baby”

Elvis patted your side of the bed and you quickly laid down as you usually would, and with a quick fwip of his hips Elvis’ knees rested just outside your thighs, his entire body hovering above yours as he reached over to your nightstand.

You heard the clink of glass, no doubt the two glass figurines you’d had since you were a child, your voice was soft but panicked as you felt a pang of protectiveness over your childhood trinkets.

“W-What are you doing?”

His response was immediate as he knew your sentimental feelings toward your figurines,

“It’s alright Honey, jus’ turnin’ Dottie and Lottie around”

“Oh.”

You let out a sigh of relief before having a blush spread like a wildfire in the summer across your cheeks. When Elvis had first touched you, you felt the need to turn your glass figurines Dolores and Charlotte, also known as Dottie and Lottie, around before he could continue any further. When he asked you why you could only mumble a quiet explanation about wanting to preserve their innocence. Elvis didn’t mind the strange gesture, he thought it was rather cute actually, it was something so girlish and sweet, something he’d never think of, it further instituted that you really were an endearing little girl.

And ever since then anytime Elvis touched you, he’d always turn your figurines toward the wall for you. And him doing it now meant that to plant his seed in you, he had to touch you.

You close your eyes as you relax into the mattress completely, and feel a shift in the bed then the cold air began to linger up your nightie, or rather Elvis made your nightie linger up your skin, giving way for him to view the cutely contrasting color of your pastel yellow panties to your pastel blue short satin nightie.

As the bed shifted a little more you allowed Elvis to part your legs so he could slide off the piece of fabric, his hands caressing the skin of your ankles a few seconds longer than the rest of your leg, and then he intricately removed your panties off your feet he laid them on the outside of your thigh, within arm's length.

You assumed what you’d be feeling next was what you always felt whenever he touched you, those calloused fingers of his walking their way up your thighs as he made himself comfortable right between the two limbs, his mouth and nose inches away from that bundle of nerves that he so lovingly explained was the bud of your little rose. 

His fingers would then drift down to what he called the petals of your rose, separating them gently, exposing your hole to the cold air of the room making you shiver like the scared little girl you were as he did so. But he liked it, liked how visceral all your reactions were from your inexperience.

Only this time, you’d been wrong as you heard the familiar shink of his belt, and as if you were a trained dog and his belt were a clicker, your eyes shot open as you knew what that sound meant. It meant you got to do the touching, but, why were your panties off if you were doing the touching?

As you sat up you saw Elvis shucking his pants and boxers down, you watched with a blush as you saw his dick, it wasn’t yet completely hard, it more so at half-staff if anything, with that it maintained enough loose skin so that the usual image of his veins bulging profusely through the thin skin was not a sight you’d yet see, but you could change that.

As you sat up with your legs still spread enough so that Elvis once he was free of his pants was able to swiftly kneel between them. You leaned forward with an eager hand but Elvis had caught your wrist before you’d made it to your target, you batted your eyelashes up at him in confusion.

“Elvis?”

He had a crooked smile on his lips and asked, “Don’t ya remember what ya gotta do first? C’mon Hon we’ve been over this a dozen times”. You had to think for a moment but felt flushed with embarrassment at your own mistake.

Elvis’ eyebrow ticked upward as he caught your realization, then he slowly raised your hand up to your mouth for you to lick a stripe along it. When he didn’t immediately pull away you knew to keep lapping at the skin till Elvis saw it suitable.

His head tilted down a little as he made eye-contact with you through the cracks of your fingers, staring at you as you licked lines of wet along the lines of your palm, he was mumbling a praise or too like “There ya go”, and “Just like that”. You only shut your mouth as his free hand came up to cup your cheek and gently push you back from your hand.

With your newfound view of his cock it definitely looked less limp than before but Elvis had taught you how to get it standing, and you wanted to show him that you could. He’d been loosening the reins lately and had been giving you more independence to touch him in the way you knew he liked. But at the perfect moments he’d step in and be a helping hand, wrapping his much larger hand around yours as he showed you what kind of pace he liked when his dick twitched a specific way.

It was him helping you build this muscle memory that was slowly etching its way into your brain, on the walls of your skull, and in the nerves of your hand

With the softest of groans leaving Elvis’ mouth your eyes shot up from his cock that maintained the attention of your palm, wanting to see his face, see the preview of your own triumph as you continued to stroke with the pace his hand guided yours along.

His smile was gone as his mouth twisted slightly to let out the low noise, he licked his lips quickly and tightened his hold on your hand, in turn tightening your hold on his cock as he ran your palm up and down it, your voice was hesitant and soft as you questioned, “L-Like that Elvis? I do it like that…”

He hummed an affirmation and mumbled, “Keep at it”, before pulling his hand off yours, leaning back on the bed on his palms while watching you with lowered lids, had they been any lower they would’ve been closed.

You tried shuffling yourself closer by planting your heels into the mattress and scooting yourself closer, but it was hard to focus on both things. You didn’t want to louse up what a good job you were doing, but you felt you could do better if you were just a little closer.

Elvis must’ve read your inner turmoil as he leaned off his palms and cupped the back of your knees with each hand, pulling you closer at the top of your calves where they connected with your thighs. As you continued with your strokes you noticed how close you now were, your bare pussy had never been so close to Elvis’ cock.

With the realization a strange curiosity shot through you, a kind of curiosity that had filled your senses one of the first times you’d sat on Elvis’s lap. He kept you on one knee easily, and it had been the leg that he often bounced absentmindedly, and as he easily bounced you on his leg you felt a weird sensation, and that damned curiosity of yours got the best of you subtly shifted on his leg, and suddenly the jumbling of your legs on his knee had shifted to a jumbling on a small bundle of nerves between your legs.

No you wouldn’t let your curiosity get the best of you again, you wouldn’t.

As Elvis pulled his hands away from your legs he leaned back on one palm and the other he reached forward to rub that very bundle of nerves you’d just been thinking of about. Just the slightest bit of force made your body react with what could be described as a convulsion as you breathed out a noise of surprise.

Elvis’ almost dazed look on his face didn’t shift as he glided his calloused thumb down between your folds, scooping up whatever was beginning to wet them, then using it as a lubricant to give your clit a good rub down, his facial expression unwavering as he watched you twitch and struggle to focus on doing a good job.

His voice was low and almost sounded slurred as he mumbled,

“Now this is hard ain’t it Honey? Tryin’ to pleasure each other at the same time?”

Your face shrunk and your lip quivered as you tried to maintain that you wouldn’t break under the sensations of it all, wanting to do good.

Upon gaining no answer Elvis’ eyes glazed up to meet yours, they now shifted to sympathy as he reassured you gently with little circles of his thumb around your bud,

“It’s alright Baby, I know it. I know it’s hard, that’s why through marriage a man can plant his seed in a woman, makes it easier y’know? A man can help you while he helps himself, ya shouldn’t have t’be doin’ work Honey”

You don’t know when you started nodding along to his words, you hardly understood them, but the way his eyebrows arched, the way his lips curled, the way his voice drew out, he seemed like he knew everything in the world. He was so in his element that you wouldn’t question it if he told you a cat were a dog.

But you had to ask, through your soft pants and whimpers, “H-how?” How was it possible to both be pleasured at the same time? How was it possible for both of you to reach that special spot just between the earth and the heavens where all felt impossibly right?

Elvis’ lips grew to a smirk once more as he removed his thumb from your clit and his hand wrapped around yours to pull you away. As you looked down you saw that familiar sight, that thin skin stretched out to show that long vein that started at the side of his dick and traveled down the center.

His other hand ran up your calf, to your thigh just to rest on your stomach, still covered by the top of your satin nightie, and with a firm force and a, “Lie back f’me” you were laid down on the bed with your legs spread.

He spread them a little further, and you watched as best you could while still laying down, craning your neck painfully to see what he was doing as he made a ring out of his thumb and index finger.

Elvis’ eyes met with yours, making sure you were watching before lining the tip of his cock up with the little makeshift hole he made of his fingers for demonstration.

“When a man plants his seed, he fills you with himself. This right here,” He lifted the little ring he’d made of two fingers, “This is like that little hole between your petals, so what I’m gonna do is fill it just slightly,” he slid the ring over the tip of his cock, leaving you to watch with a mouth slightly agape as his movement stretches the foreskin.

It’s not like when you stroke him though, he stops much too short, and doesn’t even go near the base of his cock, he ends at the base of the tip only.

“Now, this much is just till the wedding Hon. We can only do just the tippy top Baby, can’t break ya in just yet, we gotta wait till we’re unified under God to make that kinda connection-”

“...cause it’s special”

Elvis looked up at you, surprised to hear your soft voice so suddenly, it seems the words left your mouth with a little thoughtful pout. God, let this man hold back today. Let him be graceful and kind to his babylove, Elvis thought to himself as he smiled softly and hummed, 

“Yes it is sweet girl, it’s somethin’ special”

As a moment of sweet silence filled the air the two of you made eye contact, you smiled, feeling unsure of what was to come, he smiled back knowingly.

“Are ya ready Babylove?”

You bit your lower lip nervously and could only nod with trusting eyes. Elvis’ figure suddenly shut out most of the light from the ceiling as he supported his body above yours with one hand while he used his other to line up the tip of his cock.

You let out a shaky breath as he parted your fold with the tip of his cock before running it along your leaking slit. From the bottom up past the top till he hit that bundle of nerves that he could find with a blindfold. You squeaked softly at the bit of force he was using to circle your clit with his cock.

Elvis swore he’d do everything with you in mind, but as he watched the way your big eyes would crinkle to little bouts of eyelid folds and as he saw the way your lip quiver with every squeak and breath you let out, he couldn’t help himself but gauge your reaction to a little something.

Your breaths came out one by one in panic as you suddenly felt the tip of his cock begin to bat around your little bundle of nerves from the top, from side to side, even attacking from the bottom. Your eyes shot open from their little crinkles of stress and just before you could open your mouth his little batting around of your sensitive bud turned to slowed drawn out circles rubbing along the edge.

“That feels good huh Honey? It’s gonna get even better, just need ya to relax. Uh huh, that’s good, you’re doin’ good”

You relaxed into it, your jaw falling slack and your breaths coming out shallow. As you sank into that warmth that always accompanied Elvis’ gentle touch, Elvis pulled his neck back slightly to get a better look at your hole, with your folds parted he had a perfect view if he could look past his cock. He craned his neck a little to the left and found the target, wide open from your relaxed state, he licked his thumb to lubricate it and like a veteran, he navigated his cock down and at the forefront of it as his thumb took its place and pace in circling your clit, had you not been watching through lidded eyes you wouldn’t have even noticed.

“Here it come Baby, here it come”

Elvis couldn’t even look at you to gauge your reaction as his head fell back immediately as he was engulfed by your heat. Somewhere in the distance he heard a high-pitched noise but he was too high on the feeling- No, the knowledge that the first thing to fill you, to really fill you was his uncut cock’s head.

He breathed out to the ceiling, or rather to the Lord,

“Fuck…”

How could a feeling like this fill his mind, body, and soul from just the tip going in. Shit if he hadn’t already proposed to you he would do it now, just so he could one day feel the full effect of your body on his.

And then he finally peered down at you, and you were a sight to behold. He hadn’t been with a virgin in a long time, and the ones he had been with, you made them look like the most experienced girls in the world.

Your face was crumpled and your clenched fist was brought up to your mouth, you bit down so hard on your knuckles Elvis could see the skin losing its color around your little teeth. His hand slid down to your hip, running along the skin soothingly, as he hummed out, “Relax, it’s alright, just relax”

You nodded and pulled your fist from your mouth to show you were relaxing, but as your lower lip trembled Elvis could only softly remind, “Relax…”

And after a few moments of Elvis running his hands along your hips you spoke in an unsure whisper, “I-Is that it?”, Elvis sighed with a smile, “No Hon, don’t worry, but I can’t show ya the rest till ya relax, alright?” Elvis could feel you tightly around him, if he tried to pull the head of his cock back out he’d hurt you, he knew that.

"I-I am relaxed"

“No ya not Babylove”

You sighed softly, feeling a bit frustrated, this wasn’t what you thought it would be, it hurt. And it was obvious that you weren’t acting in the most pleasing way, so you lied through your teeth with a bit of an edge to your quiet words, “I’m relaxed.”

Elvis’ soft smile fell slightly at the tone of voice, and his eyebrows rose as he stared down at you, only now you avoided eye contact and opted to look at the wall. You tried to focus on the paint of the wall as best you can but it was thrown out the door as you felt a painful pull.

You whined at the feeling, and watched as Elvis pulled out, now you attempted to look him in the eye but he didn’t even spare you a glance as he muttered before lining himself up again, “Call that fuckin’ relaxed? If you’re so relaxed it should be easy goin’ back in”

Before you could voice an apology he’d already shoved the tip back in. It was much rougher than the first time he had put it in, it had you release a loud whimper and kick your feet, your heels pushing you away from his body, but his hips only chased further.

And those hands that were soothingly rubbing along your hips earlier now had them in a bruising grip to keep you from moving.

“Said ya relaxed, so fuckin’ act like it-”

Elvis let out a low groan as he stroked his cock while your little hole contracted from the stress of it all, it was like you were trying to swallow him, trying to suck him down into you. Almost like your body knew you needed his seed. And had he been a different man, or more accurately, had you been a different girl, he would’ve given it to you without shame. But you were different, you were special, you made this special.

He pulled out once more just to push back in, and then he repeated with no time in between, leaving you gasping at the rough push and pull of his cock head and whining at it, before blubbering out a series of apologies to him.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, ‘m not relaxed..! I-It hurts Elvis..!”

He’d ignored your apologies, but the way you said his name, like he could solve all your problems while also causing all of them, it was like you had this type of innocence. A pure innocence that no matter the pain he’d cause you, you’d still love him. Like if he kicked you, you’d come running right back.

Elvis stopped himself from pulling out once more and stared down at you, his grip released and one of his hands cupped your cheek and rested a thumb at the corner of your eye just before your temple, ready to catch a tear in case those teary eyes of yours spill over.

You stared up at him with a frown and pulled your hands to rest nervously on your stomach, feeling a sudden sense of awkwardness mixed with discomfort at the idea of Elvis being upset with you. But instead he seemed to sympathize with you,

“Now you see, ya gotta listen to me Babylove. I don’t expect much from ya, all I expect is honesty, now, be honest and let me know when you relax.”

You let out a shaky breath and soft noise as Elvis’ thumb landed back on your clit, beginning to rub those circles that make your hips twist a little from instinct. Elvis’ lips had been on yours in the blink of an eye, but his kiss was deep and slow, it wasn’t like when he’d kiss you so hard and so fast that your teeth knocked against his. Instead you felt his tongue explore each and every inch of your mouth carefully, could feel the way his tongue swiped along the small space between your lower gums and teeth.

His nose lightly grazed against the start of your cheek as he tilted his head to get a different angle. 

And in what would be one of the only moments for you to catch your breath within the kiss, you managed to breath out, “‘M ready”

It was a different kind of tug due to the efforts of the both of you. You were relaxed and open and Elvis was only rocking back and forth into you, no complete pulling, you couldn’t handle that yet.

With each rock of his hips, you let out a little breath or squeak. For a moment you lost focus as you watched the way Elvis used the thumb on one hand to stroke your little bud while using his other hand to stroke himself, but you were pulled back into your moment with Elvis as he groaned lowly, followed by a groan that sounded a bit more throaty. He was close.

And knowing that it was because he was in you made you feel a sense of excitement, and sense of sexuality, realizing you could make a man feel this way by doing nothing but laying there like a pliant doll.

Be a pliant wife. Your mother was right.

Your hips dragged upward slightly, crashing into his hips that were rocking down into you, the collision of skin made you moan softly as your manicured nails reached for the sheets, one hand gripped them brutally while your other hand ended up in Elvis' hair, not gripping, only carding through the dark strands.

“E-Elvis, it’s- I’m…”

You couldn’t describe it, what was coming, but thankfully you didn’t have to as he mumbled into your lips,

“I know Baby, I know. It’s comin’ f’me to, comin’ fast Babylove- H-how’s it comin’ for you?”

As the upward grind of your hips turned to little upward thrusts that your feet could manage on the slippery sheets of the bed you could hardly choke out a word as his thumb had entertained that warmth just below your stomach for too long, it’d been teased and tugged along far too long from the rubbing of his thumb on your little bundle of nerves that at its peaking point, it snapped, leaving you to try and choke out the words,

“It- I- It’s-”

As your mouth remained agape but your voice fell silent, and those pitiful attempts at thrusts of yours fell back to wishful grinds of your hips. Elvis thanked the Lord, he’d been trying his best to hold on for you, to slow his rocking when he felt himself get a little too close, he’d been edging himself almost the entire time for you.

And now as he pulled out and continued to stroke his cock with one hand, the hand previously fondling your clit reached for the pair of panties he laid aside so long ago.

As you caught your breath you watched as Elvis’ hand stroked twice, thrice, four more times along his length before he buried his cock in your crumpled up panties, letting his head fall back and a guttural moan fill the room as he reached his peak.

After a few moments of silence accompanied by the pants of the both of you Elvis removed the metal ring holding his short ascot scarf together at the center of his neck, you heard a clink as he tossed it somewhere on the wood floor, then you watched as the fabric got closer to your face, closing your eyes at the contact you could feel Elvis wiping away the dampness building on your head and cheeks from the heat what you just experienced. As the feeling left you watched as he wiped his own face off before bringing the satin scarf down to your petals, wiping off the proof of your pleasure from your pussy’s lips then wiping off your thighs that happened to be the victims of the heated juices that spread through your body which were shoveled out from the earlier pulls of Elvis’ cock’s head.

After Elvis caught his breath and pulled the panties away from his cock to see his work, then he flipped it toward you, and you saw that familiar white liquid that Elvis told you was a reward for your hard work.

“When we get married and I fill you with my seed, this is what I’ll be fillin’ ya with, I promise…”

Your eyes were lidded and tired, but full of love as you took in the sight of your fiancé, his once perfectly coiffed hair now ruffled, you could see sweat stains forming on the blue silk shirt he didn’t bother to take off before starting, and those eyelashes of his must’ve been batting so much as he now had a stray on his cheek, he must’ve missed it with his scarf.

As Elvis prepped your reward, scraping it off the pastel fabric with a finger you parted your lips, and as he finger-fed you his seed you accepted the finger into your mouth, closing your lips around it as you sucked it clean. “Atta girl, did so well” 

Your own little finger guided up his cheek to swipe the eyelash off his cheek, he watched with confusion at the way you smiled around his finger, then you flipped your finger around to show him.

As he crawled over your body to lay down beside you, removing his finger in the process you spoke with a bit of hoarseness, “Make a wish”

Elvis smiled fondly and put a hand over your thigh, “You can have this one Babylove”

You smiled before checking once more, “Are you sure?”

He wanted to laugh at how serious you were taking it all, and with a gentle rub of his hand he reassured, “I’m sure Honey, I’m sure”

You smiled down at the little eyelash resting on the middle of your index finger. And you wished for all that you could want, you wished for a happy marriage.

I had so much fun!! I really liked writing this, and I'm so happy I've had requests to write this character to the point I can turn it into a whole au!! hope you liked it.

If you'd like to be added to the taglist for this au feel free to just comment or message me!

@fadedsummerlove, @lialocklear, @astral-eyed-cat here it is lovelies

[penguinkyun]

Been seeing quite a few takes that Aqua's death makes this story "a tragedy like its always been" but the thing is. Oshi No Ko, excluding the final four chapters is not a tragedy. Almost every single arc has an optimistic ending, a silver lining through the clouds that plague the events that occur.

Ai dies but she fulfils one of her greatest desires as she does, she says "i love you" to her kids and is fulfilled when she knows that it is not a lie even though she dies, Ai still realises one of her dreams, arguably her greatest one. Sweet Today could have been a terrible drama leaving Kana, Yoriko and the fans of that manga in universe disappointed that it turned out so badly but through Aqua and Kana's efforts they manage to make the final episode a good one, bringing the best scene to life and satisfying everyone.

Love Now could have ended in tragedy with Akane, if not dead, having a ruined career but by the entire cast coming together, they manage to repair her reputation, giving her career back to her. Tokyo Blade would have been cancelled outright, leaving both author and scriptwriter hurt and disappointed (and referring to the events of the play Kana and Akane without closure and Kana continuing to diminish herself in her acting) but Aqua manages to jumpstart events that make the play better along with the efforts of the actors to make the play a good one.

Scandal could have ended with Kana going the same route as Ai or having her career destroyed but thats prevented by Aqua and even though the twins relationship was broken, Kana and Aqua do still come out of it with a saved career and stronger friendship. Even Private Arc with Ruby going black hoshigan mode still had the silver lining of Aqua getting a break for once (even the looming hammer of Hikaru Kamiki in the background). Only Mainstay arc really has an all around bad ending, with both the twins in revenge mode and Aqua and Akane with a terrible breakup but thats because it leads into Scandal and is set up for the Movie arc (we all saw how that went but this post isn't for that) so it's excused.

If I wave away the numerous and heavy complaints surrounding the Movie arc for a second, I can say that Ruby deciding to step out of her mother's shadow and move to the future deciding to be her own person and an idol in her own merit is a silver lining through that arc along with the RBKN conflict being uh. resolved (i have many issues with that part but again not the post for it. in theory this is silver lining though.). And subsequently Kana gathering the courage to resolve her feelings for Aqua (oshi no jokering rn). Even Aqua himself is filled with hope for the future as of 157.

Oshi no Ko was ultimately a story of moving forward and giving hope to the people around you, which is why this ending is so incredibly jarring. Aqua dying is inconsistent with every theme of hope and future that OnK puts forward along with desecrating the final wish of Ai herself.

This story wasn't a tragedy but Aqua's death is. There's no other way to read it, it is very much a horrific, senseless and preventable tragedy. He receives no fulfilment for any of his dreams, dies believing his only purpose was to be his sisters guard dog as his only divine duty and theres basically no respite, no silver lining for him (and possibly anyone else in the next two chapters).

Aqua's death makes this story a tragedy when it previously was not one and sends terrible messages as it does so which is why this is so shocking and jarring for everyone.

This story was not a tragedy, but now there isn't anything else you can call it.

[t1red-twilight]

OMG OMG can you do something with angst request #10 "i miss you. your side of the bed doesn’t even smell the same anymore" with peter :)))))) Ive been sad and need some angst to match the mood and who better to ask!!!

bereavement

summary: “i miss you. your side of the bed doesn’t even smell the same anymore.”

content/warnings: gn!reader, andrew!peter, angst, major character death, grief, descriptions of ptsd, disordered eating (if you squint)

notes: omg tysm!!! i GOTCHU girl (gender-neutral). i really really tried with this one, i hope you enjoy it. i hope you feel better, dear anon. this fic made me cry lol

word count: 1k

masterlist p. parker masterlist

you had had a grueling day at work. you hadn’t slept the night before; your head plagued with dreams and regrets that you would carry as long as you would live. everyone was bothering you in some shape or form, plus, you had forgotten your lunch.

all you wanted was peter. you opted to walk to his home instead of trying to bear the late night traffic.

when you saw him, your shoulders finally released the tension that they had been holding.

“hey, pete.” you sat down next to him. “you would not believe how hard work was today. a rude older lady harassed me about messing up one of her forms, even though she was the one that filled them out.” you slouched and looked at the ground.

the honks of busy city life filled your ears. the smell from the rain lingered. “i forgot my lunch again. i don’t have enough to eat out right now either, so i just didn’t have lunch. but that’s not a big deal.” stomach pains were something that you were becoming quite familiar with. inhaling deeply, you continued. “i canceled more plans. i know you don’t want me to, but i just want to spend any time i have, with you. I can’t bear to be further away from you.” the sound of him scolding you felt like whispers against your damp skin.

you reached up and wiped a lone tear from your cheek. smiling as wide as you could handle, you tried to ignore them.

“i want to move to somewhere quieter, but i could never leave you.” you fiddled with your fingers out of habit.

there was a pause. your ears rang. “you don’t ever have to worry about me leaving, okay? i promise. i’ll stay here as long as you need me too.”

you waited; your eyes trailed downward, head turned away. the street was still slick with the combination of the oil from the city mixed with the rain. your breathing was fitful now, tears soaking the neckline of your top.

“i miss you. your side of the bed doesn’t even smell the same anymore,” you choked out, your hands rubbing the sockets of your eyes. you scanned the graveyard before returning your gaze to where peter rested.

Peter’s headstone was simple; he never would have wanted something grandiose. you and may picked out a simple granite. it was more may’s choice than yours, you had been too hysterical to even cope with the fact that the funeral you were planning was his.

even through hysterics, it never really hit you that he was dead. not until he sunk in an urn into the earth.

he always insisted an urn, better for the environment. neither you or may could handle having him sit on your mantle. you both decided that it felt too dehumanizing.

his headstone read: Peter Benjamin Parker: Lover, Son, Hero.

“it’s not getting any easier. i still love you more than anything, peter. i’m not capable of loving someone else, i think.

“you’ve ruined me romantically.” you laughed at the thought. it was a joke, even though it rang truer and truer as each day passed.

“you are the highlight of my existence. good lord, peter. you mean so much to me. there is nothing that i wouldn’t do to see you again. or, at the very least get your pillow to smell normal again. it reeks of me.”

-

peter died in your arms.

you could not quite recall the turn of events completely, but you could very clearly remember what he had said to you last.

he stumbled into your apartment through the fire escape. it got blurry after he thudded onto the carpet.

there had been some criminal ransacking the city who had a particular vengeance for peter. every time peter went out, he came back worse and worse. the name of the scum that killed him laid dormant somewhere in your mind. you refused to even think about him, as far as you were concerned, he was beneath you.

you had known that peter’s crime fighting could result in something serious, but pete had always insisted that everything was going to end up all right.

“i got him,” he had said. you ran over to help him. everything you remembered was from the third person, like you were watching yourself from above. you couldn’t recollect anything you said in response. “finally you’ll be safe from-”

from this point everything was crystal clear. you could name the shampoo still faintly straggled in his hair. it was your shampoo; now tarnished with the intense irony scent of blood that congested the throngs of your shared bedroom.

“peter, we have got to call an ambulance.” you were getting frantic. you tried as hard as you could to hoist him up, but he resisted. his arms rested atop your shoulders as you tried and tried to lift him up.

“it’s my time, love, it’s-”

“no. just let me get you to the hospital. if you hold on just a little bit longer, we can get you fixed up, okay?”

he inhaled like he was going to say something. his forehead fell to your shoulder.

“honey?” you shook him. “peter?”

“pete? peter?” you hand moved to his scalp. you tried to thread your fingers through his hair to no avail. the matting from his blood halted you fingers as soon as you began.

“c’mon, darling. stay awake, okay?”

“peter?”

your screech was pathetic as he laid limply in your arms. his chest was concave and his left foot had been barely hanging on.

-

you changed your shampoo after that; the smell of it only ever brought you that night. whenever you closed your eyes, you saw visions of peter. you could not decide which was worse: the memories where he was happy, or the play-by-play of his soul shrinking away from yours.

nights were now filled with television reruns, your ceiling, anything that could keep you awake occupied your time. when you were asleep you could be with him again. but, you never wanted to wake up. the hollow throbbing pains of having him ripped away from you again when you woke made you an insomniac.

you doomed yourself to repeat this cycle. it was as if you ever managed to get over peter, you’d lose everything that you had of him. so, you clung to every crumb that remained. even though those crumbs were slipping through your fingers like sand and disappearing with time as days passed.

[warmaidensrevenge]

Cuddle bugs

Pairings: Eddie Munson x fem!reader

A/N: Greetings love ones. This is just a little blurb I had this week. Something a little cute and cuddly. I hope everyone is doing well and you're taking good care of yourselves. I appreciate all of you. Thank you so much for reading and following me. Kay love ya. Byyyyyeeee.

I do not give permission for my work to be posted anywhere else. Please respect all creators. Also, all pictures and songs are from a Google search and found on Spotify. A credit to original posters and artists. Thank you for your work.

Word count: 4,281

Warnings: 18+ No minors. Angst, doubt, pinning, sexual implications, language and not proof read.

Summary: Pinning after Eddie is crazy. But a good kinda crazy.

Fucking Eddie Munson. The crazy beautiful lunatic with the voice that's a cross between angelic and rock legend. Voice so deep in the mornings it practically ruined your underwear every time he said 'Mornin' sweetheart''

Was he talking to you that day? Or any day for that matter? Well no. But you imagined it was. You imagined that his smiles were directed towards you when he ordered his morning coffee and scrambled eggs. With 1 sausage patty and 1 bacon strip. You pictured that it was you his eyes slit for as he smiled, giving thanks as you placed his meal on the counter.

But, it never was. Eddie never sat in your section. 4 long years waiting tables at Benny's and not once had he looked into your eyes.

Oh how you long for a glance. For one little smile. Just something, anything that would give you an indication that he, Eddie Munson knew you were on this plain of existence.

How could you possibly be this enamored with someone you never met? How is it that in the 4 years since you moved to this small town, that you had never said so much as a hello to him.

Sure you saw him all the time. Around the town, running errands, at the grocery store, at the movies, even at the salon. Still, you were invisible to the one you wanted the most to be visible to.

It was ridiculous, you knew that. Pinning after a guy that was clearly way way out of your league. But you couldn't help it.

You wanted to know what it was like to be on the receiving end of his smiles. To finally know what it felt like for him to rest his eyes on you.

Would you look away? Would you blush? Or would you find some sliver of courage to finally say 'hello can I take your order?'

Well you would get your chance.

…

You picked up an evening shift on a Friday night. It was prom season so Benny needed an extra pair of hands. Since his restaurant was one of the very few decent places to eat in Hawkins, he was anticipating being busy. Just not as busy as it actually was.

Originally, you were planning on going out on a blind date that night. But when you heard the desperation in Benny's voice you had to cancel.

Maybe it was for the better. You didn't want to go on a date with some random guy. But your grandpa insisted you go out with a young fella he met at the bank earlier that week.

All you knew of the guy was that he helped your grandpa pick up his checkbook after he dropped it. And that his voice sounded nice over the phone and he was the same age as you. But thank goodness for Benny.

When you walked into the restaurant, it was so loud that you couldn't even hear the jukebox. You immediately went to the back room and dawned on an apron. You didn't even put on your name tag before you went back up front.

The second you walked out the swinging doors you saw Eddie walking in. Your eyes followed him to an open seat at the counter. Once you noticed that he was in fact in your section, you turned around and went through the door again. You stood there shaking your head.

" What is it?"

You looked to the side and Benny was giving you a concerned look. But then that faded when he looked out of the window area. He chuckled a little and went back to work.

" Kiddo, I need you out there to get his order."

You sighed. " Can't you just put it in? He always orders the same thing."

"Tonight might be the night something changes."

Not likely. You thought. Creature of habit that one.

You took a deep breath and went out.

You cleared your throat lightly. " H-hi."

Eddie smiled at his menu. " Hey. Um can I get the uhh…the chicken fried steak."

You smiled to yourself. " With fries instead of mashed potatoes and buttered corn? Mountain dew, no ice?"

He looked up from his menu and tilted his head to the side. " umm yeah. How did you-"

"ORDER UP!" Benny shouted.

Before you could look up from your order pad you jumped and turned around. Where you were met with Benny grinning at you.

When you looked back Eddie was smiling. His eyes were down as he took off his jacket.

Damn it!

" I'll be back with your drink."

You huffed a little as you took the order to the customer. After, you grabbed Eddie's drink. When you went back to give it to him he was heading towards the bathroom.

Aww.

A few minutes later his food was ready and you tried to give it to him but, someone had already placed it on the counter and took off to help other customers. That's when you saw Eddie lift his finger to ask something, but he got ignored.

You looked at the table full of kids in their pretty dresses and cute tuxedos.

" Your order will be up shortly."

When you turned, you heard someone say that they hoped none of their food went missing before it got to the table.

You paused for a second feeling the hurt, then shook it off and went to help Eddie.

You place a bottle of steak sauce and a small bowl of bbq sauce in front of him.

You were so embarrassed from what just occurred that you couldn't take your eyes off the ground.

That's when Eddie grabbed your hand. Your eyes shot up to his rings that littered his fingers.

" Hey. They're stupid kids. Don't listen to them."

You furrowed your brow a little and nodded.

" Umm do you need anything else?"

He let go of your wrist. " No. Not right now. Thanks for bringing me sauce."

You pressed your lips together and turned to fill more drink orders. Now all you could think about was how warm and rough his hand was. It was rougher than you expected it to be. But the way he held your hand so gently, you could have died.

Damn it. I should've looked at him.

A little bit later you went back to check on him. As soon as you saw he bottomed out his pop, you brought him another.

" Thanks doll."

You blushed. You knew you did. You could feel your cheeks get hot.

" You're welcome Eddie."

When your eyes met finally, your heart nearly stopped. He was smiling… at you!

" Are you new here?" He asked.

You couldn't talk. You could barely breathe. All you could do was shake your head.

He tilted his head a little. " Huh? How long have you worked here?"

You had to look away. You needed to so you could answer him.

" 4-4 years."

He leaned back slightly." Seriously? How come I have never seen you before?"

You shrugged. " Umm you normally sit over there."

Eddie's eyes followed your finger to his normal spot.

" Oh. Huh…guess I'm not too observant am I?"

" Well we're all creatures of habit. Sorry that you had to sit on my side tonight."

He smiled again when you looked at him. You actually seemed genuinely apologetic for it. " I like this side. I never had such good service before. You knew my order."

You smiled a little. " Well you kinda order the same thing for dinner when you come in."

He smirked. " But, how did you know that if you never served me before?"

You bit your lip and looked away again. " I'm…a really good waitress."

His chuckle made your heart flutter.

" Hmmm is that so? Okay." He said, clapping his hands together and rubbing them. " I challenge you. What dessert do I get?"

Your smile got a little bigger. " Well that depends."

He raised a brow. " On?"

You took a step closer to the counter when it got loud again. Afraid that he might not hear you over it.

" Umm did you have a good day at work today?"

He jerked his head back a little and pinched his brows together. " I did."

That's when you gave him a breathtaking smile. He was actually taken back by it. Not in a weird way, just that how could he have missed a smile like that all this time.

" Cherry pie with 2 scoops of vanilla ice cream."

He scoffed in disbelief. " Okay…what would I get if I had a bad day?"

All of a sudden you thought that this conversation made you look like a creep. So much so that you didn't want to answer.

" Ummm. Haha." You shrugged." I-I guess I'm not as good as I thought I was."

He leaned forward on his elbows. " Care to take a guess at it doll?"

You took a small step closer to the counter. About half an arms length away from him now. Even though you didn't want to tell him that you actually did know what he ordered. The way his big brown eyes looked at you made it so that you never wanted to lie to him." Well umm let's see…Maybe...Triple chocolate cake…with chocolate ice cream and milk."

Eddie leaned in closer and nodded. " You are a really really good waitress."

He saw you blush as you looked away.

You blushed again." I-I'll get you that pie."

When you walked away he watched you. He thought you were cute. The way your chubby cheeks got all pink and how you kept looking away from him. You were clearly shy as hell. But it was adorable.

It made him actually quite happy his blind date cancelled on him.

In normal circumstances, he would never accept being set up with someone. Well, that's because no one would actually want to go out on a date with him. And he had never been offered that before.

He had been out of highschool for almost 2 years and he still was someone who was to be avoided. Not that it really bothered him. But he was rather lonely.

So imagine his surprise when he was offered the chance to go out with an old man's granddaughter. He at first declined, but Don insisted that he had to meet his beautiful granddaughter.

That's what he was supposed to do tonight. But turned out it wasn't meant to be.

Still, this night turned out better than he expected. Even with the horny teenagers filling all the seats in his favorite place. And the shitty music someone decided to play. He was intrigued by you. The girl who has been working here for ages. The one with no name apparently.

He liked you. He liked the way you didn't wear a lot of makeup like the rest of the waitresses here. He liked how normal you looked.

Sure you were a curvy girl. But he never really had a type. He thought everyone was beautiful in their own way. Guys and girls.

What he really wanted was to be with someone who was nice. Someone who was funny as well as smart. Mostly, just someone. That's why he agreed to a blind date after all.

But as the night went on, he forgot all about her and focused on you.

Once the kids had gone to their dance, there were only regulars there. Eddie decided to stick around for a bit. Possibly get your number.

When you went back with his change, you were feeling down. He was gonna leave. The whole 3 hours he was there made the night bearable.

He joked around a bit and kept giving you compliments. For a moment there you thought maybe he was flirting. But then again, he talked that way with his other waitresses.

You gave him a soft smile."Have a great rest of your night."

He nodded and grinned. "Uhh you too."

You handed him his change and lingered there for a second.

Stop being weird and go. You told yourself.

So you did. You turned and started walking off.

" Hey doll?"

You froze. Doll? Love that for me.

" What's your name?"

You bit your lip out of sheer excitement. He wanted to know your name. You turned a little and opened your mouth to say it. But then a car backfiring blocked out the sound.

Eddie looked out the window and saw the old truck peeling out of the parking lot.

" Uhh sorry I didn't catch-" he cut off when he saw you walking into the back.

" Damn." He whispered to himself.

Now he had to come back and get your name. Then maybe your number.

…

When you went home all you could think about was how satisfying it was to finally get that smile from him. How incredible it was to look into his eyes and see the twinkle you knew was there.

Though you realize you had a small crush on the guy, you knew that nothing was going to happen. If there was, then you would leave it up to the universe.

However, you still felt bad for canceling on your date. So before heading home you made a quick phone call from the restaurant.

-

Eddie had just walked in through the door when the phone rang. He hung his jacket on the coat rack while Wayne answered the call.

" It's for you son."

Eddie nodded and went to the phone.

" Hello?"

" H-hey. It's umm y/n."

He rubbed the back of his neck. " Oh. Hey."

" Hi… Ummm so I called because I wanted to apologize again for canceling."

" Uhh n-no. You're good. I get it. Work sucks sometimes."

He heard a sweet little laugh that sounded familiar.

" It does. But I am really sorry…I was wondering if possibly…I could make it up to you. Maybe buy you a drink sometime?"

Eddie grinned. This was a first. He thought he would never hear from his blind date again. " Uhh s-sure. How about tomorrow night?"

" Okay. Umm, is there a place you have in mind?"

He nodded. " Yeah. Do you know a place called The Hideout?"

" By the river?"

He smiled. " That's the one. Say 7?"

"Y-yeah. That would be great! I'll uhh be the girl in pink."

The excitement in your voice made him chuckle." I'll see you tomorrow."

" See ya. Goodnight."

When he hung up all he could think about was how sweet you were.

-

The amount of courage it took to call him all came from talking to Eddie. Sure you didn't really want to go out on a date. But after what happened tonight, you thought what harm would one drink do? The guy seemed nice. So you were excited. And so was Eddie.

…

It was cold in the bar. So cold that you put on your sweater and buttoned it all the way up.

It was the fall, so you were expecting the cold. Just not this bad yet.

You arrived a little early to try and find a place to sit. But to your surprise the place was practically empty.

You ordered a drink and sat patiently waiting for your date.

-

Eddie had come early too. He was sitting in his van rocking out for a minute. For some reason he thought the date was gonna go well.

He walked in and looked around. He didn't see anyone in pink so he sat at the bar and ordered a drink.

It was 15 minutes until 7 and he thought he should take a leak before you came. So he went real quick. When he came back, he still hadn't seen a girl in pink. But he did see you.

He was shocked for a second but then he smiled and went to sit down.

It looked like you were waiting for someone too. You kept glancing at the door, while sipping on your drink.

For a second there he got kinda jealous that someone got to go out on a date with you. But from the looks of it, you were stood up. Him too in fact.

It was 7:20 and his nor your date showed up. He kinda expected this, but he felt bad because who would bail on a pretty girl like you? That's when he decided to buy you a drink.

When you got it the bartender pointed at him. The look in your eyes made him smile.

He waved and raised his drink. You of course blushed and looked down. But you smiled. And that's all he needed to get up and join you.

" Hello again."

He grinned." Hey doll. What's a girl like you doing in a dump like this?"

You looked away again and sighed. " I was supposed to meet someone here. But it looks like he didn't show."

He sat down and shook his head. " What a dick."

You laughed a little and took a small sip of your drink. " Last time I let my grandpa set me up."

Eddie furrowed his brow and jerked his head back. What were the odds that you were his date?

" Erm, I'm sorry. But is your grandpa named Don?"

You raised your brows and met his gaze. " How?"

He looked away and chuckled.

" Edward?"

He licked his lips and looked back at you. " Guilty."

You nervously laughed and looked down again. " Wowsers. I-I wasn't… ummm."

His smile faded. Now worried that you didn't want to be here. "Hey umm if you want to leave that's cool. I know I have a reputation and all."

Your brows pinched together as you looked up again. " So what if you do?"

Surprised by your response he tilted his head. " Well, mostly people turn the other way when they see me coming."

" I'm not most people."

He grinned a little and took a swig of his beer.

" But I'm curious. You sound so different on the phone. What did you think would happen if you told your dates your name was Edward and they met you? If you wanted to hide your identity, that wasn't a well thought out plan."

He chuckled. " You got me there. I'm not really a guy with a plan."

You nodded. " Clearly."

You both laughed and cheers each other.

A little while later you guys decided to get a late dinner.

That dinner turned into many more after that. Eddie liked you. Liked you a lot. So much that he was ready to take the next step with you. However, he had to be honest. He never had sex before. Well he had, but only with himself.

You guys have been seeing each other for 2 months now. Going on 3 and he was sure he was ready. He had planned a night with dinner and candles. With baby making music and everything. But you ended up working. So that plan was ruined. And so we're all future plans.

One night he thought maybe.

You were cuddling up next to him. Which was a mistake. He should have known better. Every time you cuddled with him like this. Your face snuggled in the crook of his neck and your hand under his shirt. With your hoodie on and legs laced with his. You would fall asleep.

And that's exactly what happened. 15 minutes into the movie you were softly snoring away. He looked at you and sighed.

" Babe?" He whispered. " Babe?"

You softly moaned and opened your eyes a little. You then smiled at him and kissed his cheek. Snuggling back in his neck after.

You were absolutely adorable. Just so damn precious to him. He couldn't force the next step with you. And that moment of cuteness he decided to just let things be.

…

It's been 5 months since you and Eddie got together. And tonight was the night.

You guys didn't have plans that Saturday evening so you thought you would make some. You went to the phone and called your boyfriend.

" Hey babes."

" Why hello doll."

You smiled and swooned. Absolutely loving that he called you that. " Hi. So umm I know we hadn't planned on doing anything tonight. But I was wondering if you would like to come over. Maybe…stay the night?"

He raised his brows. " Uhh y-yeah s-sure."

You pressed your lips together. You were actually nervous too. " I know that we haven't spent the night together yet. But I think it's time…I-I mean if you're ready that is."

" Y-yeah. No. Yeah. Umm I'm ready." He stammered.

You giggled. " Okay…so umm bring me flowers?"

He chuckled lightly. "I always get you flowers. How about I get you chocolates?"

" Hmmm you can get some of those too. But make sure to get protection."

He got nervous again. " O-okay. Umm I'll be over soon."

" Great."

When he hung up he just stood there for a second. "Shit! It's finally gonna happen."

…

When Eddie showed up he had a bouquet of marigolds and a heart shaped box of chocolates. The way he smiled and held both out nervously was so adorable. You could squeal and jump up and down from the sheer cuteness.

While smiling and taking your gifts, you motioned him to come in.

Eddie was beyond nervous. For a moment there he thought he might chicken out. But then he thought if he was going to do it with anyone, why not the beautiful shy girl that he was dating. He had waited a long time for this. And he was excited that it was going to happen. He just hoped he wouldn't disappoint you.

You guys kissed for a little while before his hands started to explore your body.

The way he lightly caressed your thighs made you tremble.

"E-Eddie?"

He lifted his head to look at you. You were gorgeous. Eyes all big and lips all pink.

" Ready?"

You licked your lips and softly nodded.

This was it. You guys were finally gonna see each other naked. When you thought about this, you pictured Eddie running away. Or not being able to get a hard on. But when he took off his clothes your core ached. His penis wasn't crazy thick or super long. But it was beautiful. So much so that you sat there for a minute, just staring at him entirely.

" Doll?"

" Hmm?" You squeaked, while looking into worried brown hues. " O-oh I'm sorry…it's just…I-I" you looked away and blushed. " Never seen one with skin."

As soon as you said that you felt like a whore. But then Eddie spoke, giving you some assurance that he didn't think that.

" Is it bad? I-I keep it clean... Do you still want to?"

You looked back up at him and shook your head. " No. It's not bad. I think it's cute. Like a little turtle neck. And thanks for being hygienic."

Your little smile and comment had him chuckling lightly. He sat down and looked you over.

You looked at yourself. It was time.

You first took off your socks. Then your bottoms along with your panties.

When it was time for your shirt you lifted it over your head. Causing your hair to whip to the side.

He reached up and brushed it behind your shoulder. When you looked up at him he leaned in to kiss you.

-

You laid there trying to catch your breath. With Eddie doing the same.

" You uhhh- you okay doll?"

" Uh-huh."

He looked at you and studied your face. He wasn't sure if you came. He sure did.

It went faster than he expected. But it was better than he could have imagined.

"Do…do you want something to eat and drink?" You asked

" Actually, I was so nervous I didn't eat dinner."

You giggled. "Me too. Why don't you clean up and I'll make us some grilled cheese."

He nodded and got up with you. While you put on your pajamas shirt and bottoms he grabbed his boxers.

You started for the kitchen when he reached for your elbow. He pulled you into a tender kiss. After he smiled at you.

You smiled against his lips. "Hurry up ok? Star Wars is supposed to come on at 8:15."

He gave you one more kiss before going to shower.

You were waiting for him in the living room when he was done. He grinned happily when you pulled back the throw that was on your lap and motioned him to come sit with you. He threw himself next to you and gave you a peck on the cheek before grabbing his plate.

" Umm babes?"

He looked at you and you looked nervous. He shoved the bite he just took into one cheek. " Yeah doll?"

You lightly cleared your throat. " umm do you think after we eat…we…could do that again."

His eyes slightly got bigger. Even though you guys literally had sex like 10 minutes ago, you wanted to do it again.

He quickly chewed his food and harshly swallowed it. " I'm done."

You laughed and put your plate down. As soon as you did, he grabbed your hand and led you back to bed.

After, he laid there listening to your soft snores. Holding you close to him while breathing in your shampoo. He loved how you always smell so good. How you were always so damn warm. So soft. He squeezed you a little bit tighter. Not wanting to ever let you go.

“ I think I love you doll.” He whispers.

You stirred a little and he smiled.

“ You love me too don't you?”

You stirred again. Only this time you turned around and cuddled into his neck. Sighing sleepily.

He smiled to himself and fell into a deep slumber.

...

@salenorona23 @browneyes528

[the-bloody-sadist]

What’s an unpopular ship that you actually really like?

I don’t think these are SUPER unpopular as ships, but because they’re from lesser-known anime (that don’t have very active fandoms at least), here are a few!

Daisuke Kanbe and Haru Kato from The Millionaire Detective: Balance Unlimited (top Kato, because Daisuke is my favorite and that means he’s going to bottom LOL)—this anime is one of my favorites and I rewatch it a lot, especially that one episode where Daisuke is just a little baby boy who gets drunk and doesn’t know how to be poor.

Also the show ships them too here’s proof:

John Watson and Friday from The Empire of Corpses—absolutely devastating (and gorgeous) movie with an after credit that ruins everything, but gods will I watch it over and over for these two. There’s just something so erotic about a man bringing his best friend’s corpse back to life as a Frankenstein-esque monster and trying to make him human again. I’ve made a post about this one before when I’d first watched it (lmao I was traumatized), but I have a big weak spot for non-verbal characters, so Friday is my favorite. I wish there was an active fandom for this so I could see ship works for them! Also, one of my favorite animation styles of all time. Everyone looks so pretty.

Fushi and The Beholder from To Your Eternity—ehehehheheheheheh this one is a popular anime but not a popular shipper fandom. LET ME DREAM, THOUGH. I drew one work for it once, I’m qualified. (Also the non-verbal character strikes again [yes I was mad when he learned to speak like a normal person eventually])

Kaname Kuran and Zero Kiryu—NOT TALKING ABOUT THEM. DO NOT MAKE FUN OF ME‼️🫵

Gareki and Yogi from Karneval—I could ship Yogi with several men in this anime but that’s just because of Miyano Mamoru magic I’m sure…anyway if you haven’t seen this one ITS VERY GOOD. Idk if it got cancelled officially or what but I hope a second season comes anyway. Still worth it, regardless!

THATS IT OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD, CLEARLY I CAN NEVER GIVE JUST ONE EXAMPLE…HOPEFULLY YOULL FIND SOME NEW WATCHES FROM THIS LITTLE LIST!

[farfromrealitypls]

Rafe x singer girlfriend

Face claim: Madison beer

“No no no no, shit!”

“What?” You lifted your head to look at Sarah, who sat across from you at the counter, looking panicked at her phone.

“The band I booked just cancelled” she threw her phone out of her hands and let her head fall onto her arms on the counter.

“Oh shit” you frowned and looked at your best friend.

“What am I gonna doooo?” She mumbled into her hands.

“Try to book someone else.” You suggested.

“How am I gonna get someone else in an hour?! It’s ruined!” She whipped her head back up.

“The live music was going to be the highlight, singing THEIR song. It was supposed to be perfect. Ugh! Rose should’ve never trusted me with their anniversary party” she whined and let her head fall back down again.

Sarah spent almost the whole last week planning this out. It was Rose’s and Ward’s anniversary and Rose wanted a big party and told Sarah she could plan it.

“Sarah it’s still a great party” you walked around the counter and stood next to her, putting your hand on her back to comfort her.

“The decoration is amazing and the slideshow is the cutest thing ever” you assured her.

“Oh my god! Y/n can you sing at the party? she whipped her head up again, you swore you heard it crack and she looked at you with wide eyes.

“What?” You gasped in disbelief.

“Y/n please! I’m never gonna get someone else for tonight and you are way better than anyone else” she grabbed your arm.

“Absolutely not” you shook your head and ignored her puppy dog eyes.

“Why not? Pleaseeeeee. Just this one song. Nothing else. This is so essential, it’s THEIR song and it’s way more emotional when you sing it than me just putting it on speaker” she whined and squeezed your arm even tighter, pouting up at you.

“I can’t. Rafe is gonna be there and I get so freaked out” you whined back and avoided eye contact.

“You’ve been dating for 2 months now and he never heard you sing?? It’s about time!” She raised her voice in excitement and gave you a hopeful look.

“Sarah…” you sighed, looking back at her.

“Y/n I’m BEGGING you. I’ll do whatever you want” she said slowly with closed eyes, waiting for you to say yes.

It was silent for a bit, just you two looking at each other.

“Fine. I’ll do it.” You finally gave in.

“Oh my god!” Sarah jumped up from her stool and pulled you into a tight hug.

“You’re the best! I love you so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She squealed into your ear.

“I love you too” you squinted your eyes at her high pitched voice and just hugged her back.

“Are you alright babe?” Rafe leaned over and whispered in your ear.

You’ve been fidgeting in your seat the second you sat down. Why did you agree to this again?

“Yeah yeah, I’m fine” you whispered back and faked a smile.

He placed his big hand on your thigh and usually it would calm you down, but now all you could think of was that you had to sing in front of him and EVERYONE, when the slideshow was over.

Suddenly everybody started clapping and Sarah stepped onto the small stage.

Shit. It’s happening.

“I hope those pictures freshend up some memories. And now to relive the ultimate, most romantic moment, we will have someone sing the song, you both first danced to, and the one dad claims, made him fall in love”

Sarah stepped off and you got off from your seat while everyone clapped.

“What are you doing?” Rafe looked at you confused. You ignored him and just walked up the stage. You held on to the mic and hoped it would make your hands look less shaky. You scanned the crowd and there were definitely more people than you thought. You locked eyes with your boyfriend and his lips turned into a smile and he raised one eyebrow at you. Then the intro to “Can’t help falling in love” by Elvis Presley started playing, there was no turning back.

You started singing and Rafe couldn’t believe his eyes. There stood this dream of a woman, in a sparkly black dress, with the voice of an angel and he was lucky enough to call her his girlfriend. When you stared into his eyes while singing the lyrics, like you said it to him, it made his heart jump and his dick twitch. He was absolutely mesmerised and just stared at you in awe. So did everybody else. He wondered how he never knew you could sing like that, but looking at you right now made him feel soft.

The song was over and you took a deep breath, before you quickly made your way back to your seat. The party guests cheered, clapped and Rose sent you some air kisses. You akwardly smiled back at her and finally sat back down next to Rafe, leaning into him to calm your nerves.

Sarah stepped back up and started reading some story.

“I- Fuck I’m so in love with you” he brought out while staring into your soul.

“You mean “you can’t help falling in love with me?” “ you giggled and jokingly pushed his arm.

“Fuck yeah” he chuckled back and pulled you closer by your chair and then gently cupped your cheek, tugging a strand of hair behind your ear.

You smiled up at him through your long eyelashes.

“I never knew my girl got a voice like that” He whispered.

“I get shy” you whispered back.

“Well get over it, because I will make you sing way more often now” he placed his soft lips on yours and you hummed in agreement.

“But nothing compares to the noises you make when I touch all the right spots” he grinned against your lips.

“Rafe!” You blushed and hit his biceps and he let out a deep chuckle before pecking your lips once more.

[xomoosexo]

My honest thoughts on will quackity fall

I hope so, I really really hope so because he ruined our community again when we were in the process of rebuilding it. He was selfish and didn't care about anything other than himself, his server and his reputation. He put so many people in danger, people who were related to Dream (which is gross behavior if you don't care about your old friends family) and completely innocent stans who were excited about their streamers new project

Now will he, the answer is complex;

The thing about quackity is that he's been in the content creation game to have seen everyone go down before him. He knows what makes people tick

You'll notice that with everything that's happened, quackity is never the center of attention, and when he is, he shifts the blame to someone else. The whole USMP thing was without question quackitys doing. Dream did everything correctly, when quackity announced the qsmp, Dream tweeted his support for it and then mentioned that he had a similar idea in the works so that when it came out, he could avoid getting backlash (it didn't really work sadly)

When he finally announced the USMP and people starting attacking him, he tweeted nothing but positive things about quackity, even saying that quackity really inspired him. When quackity announced the qsmps live translation mod again, nothing but support

On top of that, Dream opened the floor for quackity to even just like a tweet and let the fans know it was all good

But quackity didn't. And because Dream was the only one saying anything and Dream is the internets favorite punching bag, people attacked Dream for having a similar idea

And then when Dream eventually tweeted his public plea to quackity, he was shamed and harrassed. People took it as Dream whining even though he and his family were in literal danger

Sorry lmao, I got sidetracked

As I was saying. Quackity has never actually *done* anything. He has never done anything that can be directly pinned to him, what he does is he lets other people do things, to make their actions bigger than his, and then lets them take the blame

Anything he has directly done, qolos will say it's old or it happened so long ago (see his racist scam caller videos)

Quackity, above all, knows how to not look guilty. So if quackity gets cancelled, it needs to happen to his own community, it needs to be something that one of his actions directly and irrefutably caused, and more importantly it needs to be the qolos orchestrating their own downfall. If a dream stan even tries to say anything, even if it's one in a sea of qolos, suddenly it's dreams fault

Because what happens then, is a domino of all his past silences and the way his past silences have had direct and negative impacts on everything

I think unfortunately that quackity is too good at avoiding things and he has this uncanny ability to basically rebuild a new audience every few years making it much harder to be cancelled

that god damned law degree 😭 and people think dream is the damage control guy 😭😭 when in actuality he's just bad at it. quackity is so good most people don't even notice.

[fireember345]

Out of the Requiem and Into the Madhouse Prompt

A Code Geass Prompt

Do not own Code Geass

Anyone can use it

Requiem Failed before it was completed

Started two weeks before Zero Requiem

Lelouch begins to show signs of mental instability as Suzaku began to take notice

Suzaku was having nightmares about Euphie that she hated him for killing her brother and called him a traitor, starting to make him doubt his drive to kill Lelouch

Suzaku’s nightmares pushed him to find CC to find answers in what happened to Euphemia since Lelouch wouldn’t tell the truth

CC tell him everything that happened that day and CC add that Lelouch blamed himself for what happened and wanted to die everything that happened, believing he had nothing left

Suzaku then felt guilt as he understood the dreams and talks to Jeremia in stopping the plan, who agrees with him but was shocked that Suzaku wanted to back out

He contacts Cornelia to tell her the truth about Euphemia, the plan on Zero Requiem and the Insanity of Lelouch, pleading her to not allow Nunnally to lose Lelouch

Cornelia didn’t believe him at first but the more she thought about it and the more Suzaku spoke to her, the more convince she was on how much the world pushed him too far, that she pushed him too far

Guilford tries to convincer her that none of this was her fault, but she still remembers Marianne’s death and letting her brother and sister be exiled without helping them

Cornelia agrees to the plan for Suzaku to stopped the Requiem and get Lelouch some help

Jerimia then informed the imprisoned the truth about the Requiem, Lelouch’s mental condition and that Lelouch never forced them to obey by proving it with his Geass Canceller

Though Ohgi didn’t want to believe him, Todouh finally understood and filled with shame of driving Lelouch to insanity, Kallen distraught over this information and consumed with guilt

Jerimia then informed them that their will be a usurpation where Lelouch doesn’t have to die for it

The final night before Zero Requiem would begin, Suzaku managed to convince a final dinner, claiming he wanted to have it as his final dinner party as Suzaku, pretending Lelouch and he were still friends before being entombed as Zero

Cornelia provided sleeping drops for Suzaku to put into Lelouch’s food and drink so they could take over so easily

Once they gave the toast to the end of the Demon Emperor, Lelouch then unconscious, the rebels moved in and Lelouch was blinded and put in a straightjacket

Once everyone inside was freed and informed of the situation going on, they decided on what will happen to Lelouch

Since they made a deal that Lelouch would not be killed, they decided to have him sent to an asylum, most hoping he never gets out for being a danger to everyone and himself

While the Black Knights and others that were involved took the time to speak to Lelouch or interrogate him, while Lelouch sniped at them, trying to push them away, they realized that it was even worse than Suzaku subscribed it

Nunnally feels she isn’t ready to face her brother yet but never said why, but Lelouch believed that she still hated him in truth she thought Lelouch was better without her and didn’t want to ruin his life anymore

Lelouch is soon transferred to an Insane Asylum in Japan while Nunnally takes the throne like he wanted her to for the Requiem

The public are told that Lelouch was driven insane long before he took the throne and pinned his torment on Charles, knowing that if anyone knew the full truth it could cause massive riots

Lelouch spent two years in the Asylum alone with barely any visitation, trying to kill himself causing him to be put in solitary confinement and heavily watched, his last attempt left a permanently damaged right pelvis and would need a wheelchair to move around without any pain

Groups began trying to break into the asylum to kill Lelouch

One got the closest when they were going to televise Lelouch’s execution on their ship

Instead of cowering like they wanted him too, he encouraged them to end it

This angered the leader, who demanded why he wanted it, but was stopped by Suzaku as the new Zero and the Black Knights who saved Lelouch, despite not wanting to be saved

Seeing that the Black Knights broke their promise to help her brother, Nunnally then demanded that they return Lelouch, wanting him to come home

Despite trying to convince her otherwise, they were left with no choice but to return him to prevent a war

Nunnally apologized to Lelouch but Lelouch was confused on why she was

Nunnally then decided to do everything in her power to help her brother find his way again and love himself again

[missnatzooie]

Ideas for episodes for the cancelled Banjo-Kazooie TV show

It's a shame that the show never happened, but I can always dream!

So here's some potential ideas for episodes that would've been cool to see!

An episode were Banjo & Kazooie's friendship is challenged when Kazooie realizes that Banjo doesn't know a whole lot about her, so after another encounter with Grunty, Banjo then remembers things about Kazooie, surprising her, he even remembers her favourite film!

A flashback episode showing Mumbo when he was Grunty's teacher, and how she turned on him and gave him the skull for a head.

A pirate-themed episode where Banjo & Kazooie help Captain Blubber out with searching for some treasure, all while taking down Captain Blackeye, who wants the treasure for himself, perhaps the trio sing a pirate song, very similar to Skurvy's songs in the Donkey Kong TV show.

Banjo goes out with Bottles and the others, leaving Kazooie to babysit his sister Tooty, Kazooie is annoyed and doesn't bother with her, but after they both start talking to each other, and even with Tooty telling Kazooie that she's like the sister she never had, the two start to get along.

The duo get a letter that they've been offered roles to star in a movie, after they heard about their heroic adventures, meaning that the bear and bird are going Hollywood! Or are they?

A talent show is being held in the Isle O Hags, and everyone's hoping to win, even Grunty joins in, the duo try to come up with a good act to win, even arguing and putting a strain on their friendship, which results in Tooty trying to get the duo back together before the show and make them friends again.

Since I imagine that the show would've been non canon to the main series, Grunty's two sisters come to visit, in which the trio attempt to ruin Banjo & Kazooie's day, but the duo hilariously end up ruining their day instead.

Maybe some episodes where more obscure and forgotten characters appear and interact with the duo (Brentilda, Canary Mary, Bullion Bill & Dilberta, etc..)

I might make a part 2 because my mind is just full of ideas, and it's fun! Also I imagine that the show would have songs too!

[sophsun1]

Here are the two links where the corvette is mentioned, btw in one of them is also written that Gale’s most embarrassing moment was getting a perm when he was a kid/teen and what was it with him and Randy getting perms? Lol. wirthwoman.livejournal.com/8928.html? And wirthwoman.livejournal.com/9594.html , i also found this one and he mentioned his accident in it a bit and i always knew his accident was bad but holy shit, I’m glad he was okay, especially since he seems to have a habit of being clumsy. wirthwoman.livejournal.com/8970.html

And i fully agree with you! I swear there was supposed to be a convention last year that was rescheduled from 2021 or even 2020, but oh well. I hope one day we get another convention from them.

Hey anon!

Ty for the links they were a fun read!

I'm screaming at the fact they were in sync with their terrible haircut choices at some point, truly destined to be friends 😂

These were some of my favourite bits and I always love how Gale is on the same page with the fans on Brian -

Brian hid a lot in sex because he felt he was not free to have feelings. He said it was always the plan to have Brian and Justin together because it was a new relationship rather than Brian and Michael which was an old relationship.

Michael reminded Brian of the difficult part of his life so he was punishing him but at the same time loving him so much though not romantically. He evolved in getting to know Justin and he fell in love with Justin as a version of himself and though he acted like he didn’t care, he cared very much. He felt Brian would suffer a long lasting broken heart after Justin was gone. He also believed that Brian would eventually settle down.

He loved the prom dance but was worried about keeping up with Randy because he was fast. When asked about Brian’s rule of not eating fats or carbs after 7 he said Brian was a pathological liar.

When the subject of Justin’s injury came up, Gale surprised us by talking about his own head trauma from his accident and how it was similar to what Justin would have experienced. He said that he had no memory of anyone visiting him but he could hear them and later he dreamed about their visits. When asked if Brian ever told Justin about his visits in the hospital he felt certain that Brian would have “accidentally” let him know and that as the relationship developed that they would have discussed it at some point and Randy agreed.

A lot of these have been covered in fic so it's always nice to see the actors confirming our head canons. Gosh, yeah his accident was really serious and luckily he was okay he does seem to be very accident prone which kinda fits in with his personality.

Yes, I thought I was going insane when I kept thinking I'm sure there was a con scheduled in London around then but of course the pandemic hit and everything was cancelled but it was never mentioned again, so I thought I dreamt it lmao. Especially as Gale was supposed to be there alongside everyone which is so rare for him to leave his house! Damn you covid for ruining this for us.

[fangirlies]

i dont want to be annoying, but now what do u think of the accusations? cuz the racist video was part of a role in a series, in the nude photos he was a minor and friends came out to defend him, but i dont know what to believe from the things he said and shared on his twitter lol i mean i make those jokes too, the same kind he makes, but its just that for me: jokes. thats why i dont know if its okay for me...? i dont want people to hate me for supporting it but now everything seems too fake to me, especially when the girl who started it all made videos on tiktok making fun of having ruined his career and wrote to someone on ig insulting, and finally, how she deactivated her account when everyone started exposing the inconsistencies in her story (later she activated it), so that makes me think about how strange everything has been 😭😭 especially when percy doesnt give announcements, but hes active on instagram (likes) and also that the cast hasnt stopped following him AHHH I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK i need my favorite writer to guide me pls pls and also sorry 4 the grammar im 🇧🇷 😭😭

Hi there friend!

First and foremost I’d like to say that when the news first came out about the SA, it did shock, confuse, and hurt me. I have stopped supporting artists/actors in the past for such allegations for obvious reasons, so obviously it was a natural reaction for me to no longer want to support someone with such allegations out there. However, I did some slight digging as we all did and informed myself about the allegations being tweeted and after just a few scrolls, I thought the whole thing was just strange. The story never made sense to me, the girls kept being rude to people who were asking normal questions to fully understand the story, the spread of his nudes as a minor?? It truly left me confused and so I stopped reading and interacting with such posts. I also thought it was strange people were going through his likes and kink shaming him for things he’s liked on ig before the accusations came out. And that’s my issue with ‘cancel culture’ they find one thing out and start digging for every and anything they could find to pin on a person and start building their own conclusions, hoping anyone would believe them. And people do.

Now, his use of the slur was wrong and I could never deny that. Am I a little confused about his lack of response? A little. But I do believe he was told not to comment on anything yet for whatever reasons, which at the end of the day was smart on his end because now these girls have twisted and rewrote their story— lacking credibility.

Although I’m not fully convinced about it all, I’ve made this account solely an xavier account and maybe some of his other characters too. I was and still am a little wary about adding his face to my pieces because I want to make everyone on my account comfortable. So if anyone has any issues with that, I hope they can privately reach out and tell me about it!

But anyway bestie, I mean this in the nicest way possible— don’t let me and my opinions steer you a certain direction that you’re not comfortable in. I have my own opinions that some of my other friends on here may or may not have and that’s fine! I still respect them and their decisions to either stop writing for xavi all together or to add his picture on their writings and what not. But thanks for reaching out, I hardly talk about it on here because at the end of the day, it’s an xavier account and my sweet little muffin boy did no wrong. I can happily seperate actor from his character but I can understand why some writers can’t.

Also, omg a Brazilian bestie?? I’ve heard amazing things about Brazil and dream of scratching it off my travel bucket list one day 😭 your grammar was perfect! Never apologize bestie!

[aena-blue]

Manifestation - When in Doubt

Hello everyone! This is another short post to cover a simple topic under the umbrella term manifestation to hopefully shed some light on the topic.

Today we will be talking about: doubt.

I think we all know what doubt is so I will skip the part where I explain the meaning of the word. So how do you deal with doubt when it arises during your manifestation process?

First I will start off by saying this: It is perfectly normal to feel doubt, even if you have successfully manifested many desires before, doubt may still appear. Doubt will not cancel your manifestation or set back your progress. Remind yourself of this when doubt creeps in. Doubt is perfectly normal and it will not ruin your manifestation.

Giving doubt less importance by repeating the above, helps lessen it, and does help it become more infrequent. Doubt still pops up for me occasionally, but it is so small, and it is so easily dismissed by repeating the above plus a handful of other affirmations that I use such as “I am the creator of my reality and I always get what I want”. 

It is normal to feel doubt along the way because even though you create your reality through your imagination, you do not, and can not, micro-manage all the steps and events along the way that brings your manifestation to you. This not knowing what goes on ‘behind the scenes’ so to speak, this uncertainty, can sometimes create a shadow called doubt. This shadow, as well as the one behind you when you are standing outside, are both perfectly normal and natural, but just as your own shadow, it is just there, it does not change your reality, it does not interfere or ruin with it, it simply exists. 

Your only job is to: persist. That’s it. Persist with your chosen technique and decide that your ability to manifest is far greater than any shadow or doubt that creeps up along the way. The doubt will lessen and be less important over time. It does not need to stop existing completely, because it holds no power over you or your desired outcome, regardless of how many times you perceive it, so there is no need to try and force the doubt to disappear just as you can not make the shadow behind you disappear, you can simply choose to not focus on it.

One more thing you can do if you feel any doubt is to do some more research regarding manifestation, read some blogs, listen to some YouTube videos, read or re-read the works of Neville Goddard, Joseph Murphy, Florence Scovel Shinn, Abraham Hicks or whichever teacher that has resonated the most with you regarding the law of belief or the law of attraction. Wanting some reassurance is also natural and normal and should not be frowned upon. Do whatever you want or need to do to feel calm, at peace, and more confident in your ability to consciously co-create your reality.

So when in doubt: persist with your new assumptions and do any self-soothing that helps you move past it. Knowledge is power, and repetition builds belief, so there is nothing wrong with re-visiting the topic of how your mind creates your reality as many times as you might need.

I hope this post was helpful and as always, leave a comment or drop me an ask me if you have any questions or suggestions for another post.

I now offer email coaching on my Etsy Shop for anyone who needs help, assistance, guidance or just a cheerleader for their manifestation journey.

You can use the “ask me” function for anything that might be on your mind, or on your heart. I am here for you all, always. Please note that the Ask Me’s are only open for dream interpretation, general questions or advice at this time.

Please consider supporting my intention & affirmation art business in return for my time and energy by making a purchase or sharing my shop on any of your social media, every page click helps my business grow and I appreciate all of your support.

You can get a sticker for about $2 and if you make a purchase and send me an email to let me know what you bought I will happily give you a free 3 card reading for a question of your choice or 1 free email for manifestation coaching, regardless of the cost of your purchase! 🧡

If you'd like to donate to my channel/blog I gratefully receive energy donations via Paypal, every little helps! 🧡

For anyone that feels so inclined I do have an Etsy Shop for readings.

Much love and light to you all and to the universe 💛💜

~ Lady Blue 💙

[crocusina]

you'll pay for everything, disney! 🖕✨

i do not care AT ALL what other people say or think about you, disney... I HATE YOU, disney, so freaking much, you know?

i know you don't care at all, disney, of course you don't... but i'll state my case anyway.

I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU, disney, for the terrible and unforgivable things you've done. the things i wanna mention are the following, but i know they're not the only ones worth mentioning.

i will never forgive you, disney, for ruining star wars: episode ix for almost everyone. Star Wars: Episode VIII, The Last Jedi, was and still is a masterpiece! disney, you wouldn't recognize true cinema even under your freaking wing and billions of dollars.

i will never forgive you, disney, for ruining Wreck-It Ralph with your shitty sequel, which actually made fun (and it wasn't funny AT ALL) of such a precious movie that deserved its own franchise.

i will never forgive you, disney, for ruining my precious Frozen, as a movie and as a franchise. disney, you're an ungrateful piece of 💩! frozen gave you back you're fucking money and gave you your fucking high reputation. DON'T YOU EVER FORGET, disney!

I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU, disney, for cancelling and ruining for everyone the well-deserved continuation of our beloved The Owl House! disney, you fucked up our dear danna terrace real bad. damn you, disney!

WORST OF ALL: i will never forgive you, disney, for trying to ruin the real lives of the lgbt+ community and palestines all over the world with your cynical and undeniable support of true evil. you, disney, do not care AT ALL for any of these real human beings, not even if they still care for you or your sinful and double-faced brand. you alone, disney, are killing real dreams and aspirations of real people right now. but you don't even freaking care... i know.

do i need to write more? is it clear enough why i despise you so much, disney? and why i will never forgive you?

keep your fucking disney+ to yourself, disney, i don't want it and i don't need it.

the heart of my younger self, who blindly believed in you, is just shattered and can not be fixed (specially by you). i hope you're happy now, disney. besides, you feed from millennials' tears, don't you? you clearly despise us millennials so much, don't you? go fuck yourself, disney, go fuck your dirty money! i hope you rot in hell, disney.

YOU SICKEN ME, disney. you sicken me.

[actually-nagito]

maybe time doesn’t matter to you and you can go years holding a grudge ignoring someone and get mad at them every time they try to talk to you even though all theyve ever tried to ask you was to be kind and civil to them, and in return you don’t even treat them like a stranger; you treat them like the gum on the bottom of your shoe. you admit to them that they didn’t do anything to hurt you but then when they tell you that every person they try to talk to that ends up interacting with you suddenly turns on them and hates them or cancels plans or now just despises them and instead of thinking “hm, maybe I can help this person or even just be kind enough to them that we can be in the same room” you think “why are u calling me a bully how dare u” . they could say the words “I hope you have a good day” to you and you’d still get mad at them because “have a good day” implies that u we’re having a bad day before, and how dare they think you had a bad day. If you despise someone, everything they say or do will make you mad. And if that reason you despise them is because you’ve convinced yourself they did things that you know they didn’t do, that someone else did, and you’re childish enough to think that one person equals another person even though they aren’t even friends anymore, so how come you get to be the good guy? How come you get to defriend them and it was so good, but when I defriend them it doesn’t even matter to you? Did it even occur to you that maybe they hurt me too, and we had something to bond over?

maybe time doesn’t even matter to you, that you can go years convincing yourself to hate someone who has only ever cared so much about you that they WANT to be civil with you even after all you’ve done to them, how horribly you’ve treated them. Maybe I shouldn’t have to tell you that I don’t have a lot of time left for you to be nice to me. Maybe I shouldn’t have to tell you that I’m DYING for you to finally listen or show any kindness towards me. All I ever wanted was to know why you were upset, and when you refused to tell me, I backed off. Instead I just asked if we could be civil, if we could be in the same room, because we are both in this community and you are not going to kick me out of it just because of a fight you had with someone I wasn’t even a part of. I’m sorry I “remind” you of someone, but I’m not leaving the only thing I have left. That you ruined for me by the way because now I can’t even go to the events I want to go to, cause you refuse to be civil enough to be there with me. This is ALL I HAVE LEFT.

you are so fucking privileged to have what you have. You get to go to school, you get to have a job, a life, a group of friends, you get to go out whenever you want to and hang out with them, you get to walk every day freely without being in a body that is trying to kill you and will kill you any day now, without having to deal with dying young, IVE LOST ALL OF THAT. I gave up my dream because I was forced to. I became sick. When you first get sick, everyone cares about you. The popular kids from elementary school who hated you suddenly follow you and be kind to you. But not so much the second or third time. I can sit in the hospital dying now with sepsis and not even one person will come to visit me.

But I shouldn’t have to tell you how much I’ve lost and how much I’ve had to give up just to BE IN THE COMMUNITY THAT YOU SO EFFORTLESSLY ARE A PART OF. You get to live still, and the way you treat someone who doesn’t is honestly disgusting. I shouldn’t have to tell you though that I’m dying for you to be kind to me. I shouldn’t have to tell you that every illness I have points to me dying any day now, any month now, and I really already should be dead and that the fact that I am alive is a miracle right now, that the year you chose to ignore me and treat me like shit I wasn’t even supposed to survive. I was LUCKY to live that year. I was given that year to live only to still have you ignore me and treat me like garbage and not even have the community, not even have the one thing I had left. So I really do hope you’re happy with how childish you’ve been. How awful you’ve treated me and been happy about it.

Maybe I don’t make sense to you and my illness has gotten to me now, and nothing I say makes actual sense. Maybe I’m going through something you’re lucky you’ll never have to go through, because dying young is SHIT and I don’t wish it upon anyone. Maybe when you see someone struggling who is kind to you, think about how much they’ve probably had to go through and deal with and learn to be in the positive state they are. And I know that you’re not someone who has dealt with a lot, because you throw a tantrum when someone asks if you can be civil. If you can’t even handle someone you find annoying, and still be kind to them, and you’re in your early twenties, I have no idea how you’re going to deal with the workforce. What about customers who come in and are nasty to you, are you gonna be nasty back to them? What about employees you have to work with who get on every nerve in your body, are you just going to quit your job when you’re asked to work with them? What about when you DO face something awful and every person you know who could give you advice on it, you’ve pushed away and been nasty to so now you have no one to lend you a shoulder to cry on? Haven’t you ever heard of “treat others the way you want to be treated”? How can you be so mean to some people, and ask that they’re kind to you in return? That they do everything you want them to?

I told you that I’d be there for you if you needed, and that I am there to give you advice. Because I still care about you. And I still would do that for you. No matter how awful you are to me, I will still always offer my shoulder to cry on, and wise words to listen to. I will always offer a hand to hold or someone to cry into. I will always offer an ear to listen to what you need to say and what you feel about. I will always offer my eyes to see you for who you are, who you really are. Because I know this meanness isn’t you, it was taught to you. I know you can unlearn it. I will always see you for who you really are. Not your personality, but you as your soul. The kind person you are. The interests you have and the way you go about the world. What makes you feel happy and what makes you feel not so happy. What matters to you and what you would fight for. And I will still, always offer me. Because I will still always be there for you, and honestly I would probably even die for you if something harmful were to come your way.

But I shouldn’t have to tell you that I’m dying for you to be kind to me. To smile at me and tolerate me in the same room as you. I don’t care if you have to fake it for a bit until you actually feel positively about me. (I mean, that’s what you did to feel negatively about me; you faked what I did so you could have someone to take it out on) Maybe, being kind should be a common thing you do already.