#so the first part might be a bit iffy and stuff

[northlight14]

A PSA to non asexual arcane fans!

Ok with the recent announcement that Viktor is asexual, as an asexual myself who has Viktor as their favourite character, I wanna get some shit out the way. There’s a good chance I’m gonna stop interacting with the arcane fandom because of this announcement because every time I’ve seen a character be confirmed asexual there’s always just this influx of acephobia and misinformation which makes it impossible for me to even interact with the fandom and feel safe. So throwing this at y’all and then we’ll see what happens. However, I do not speak for the whole of the asexual community so some aces may disagree with me and that’s ok, as long as y’all aren’t rude we can have a discussion (or you can just scroll or block me, whatevs🤷)

Asexual and aromantic are not the same thing. This is something the creator clearly doesn’t know since he used Viktor’s asexuality as a rebuttal against Jayvik which makes zero fucking sense but sure. So asexuals can still date and aromantics and still have sex. Some like myself are both but that’s not always the case

“Asexuality is a spectrum! Some asexuals still have sex!” is not the good excuse you think it is to depict asexuals in sexually explicit situations. Every time I see this paired with this excuse, the character is very obviously just made to be allosexual in the fanwork. Either stick to sexualising the allosexual characters or do your research on sex neutral/favourable asexuals and represent them properly. Otherwise what you’re doing is no different to writing a fic where a canonically lesbian character has sex with a man

“Asexuality is a spectrum! People can be demisexual or greysexual!” If the character was demisexual or greysexual, the creator would have said. But they didn’t. They said they were asexual. You changing the label doesn’t make you inclusive, it makes you acephobic

Viktor being announced as asexual only after the show was released and it being in rebuttal to a gay ship where the writer clearly doesn’t know what it actually means to be asexual isn’t the win for ace representation some might first think. Asexuals deserve explicit representation by people who bother to learn how to represent us properly

Having the only asexual character also be the character who’s storyline focuses on disability, something that people already infantalise also isn’t the win people might try and make it out to be. Disabled people are frequently denied sexuality and it is part of the way they are infantalised in western society. So having Viktor be disabled and also be the only asexual character feels a bit iffy to me. Obviously there are disabled people who are ace and I don’t want to diminish that experience either. And there would be ways to explore that in a more nuanced way but that’s not what happened. And frankly it would be so easy to avoid this by just having more than one ace character so it doesn’t feel like a trait exclusive to disabled people but sure go off I guess

A lot of you only give a shit about QPR’s (queer platonic relationships) so that you have an excuse to ship aromantic characters. Granted, I’m so in favour of QPR Jayvik because their relationship explicitly goes beyond what we consider standard for a platonic relationship, even if it’s canonically not romantic. But I’m bringing this up anyway because a lot of the time in fandom and society in general, QPR’s are seen as a way to make the aromantic character more “palatable” to the allo’s and shippers. And as someone in a QPR, that idea honestly feels both insulting but is also so damaging to the aro community as a whole. Loveless aromantics exist, some aromantics who do feel other forms of love still don’t want a QPR. Some like myself were/are indifferent and some like my partner really want/ed one. Not all of us are the same

Might’ve missed some stuff but yeah. Any acephobia will be deleted but I’m happy to have civil conversations and answer questions. Ultimately I just want a fandom to actually listen to ace people for once but I know that won’t happen. Still, I wanted to at least say my peace

[hughiecampbelle]

The Boys Preference: Finding Out About Sexual Trauma

Requested: hello, I would like to start off my request with saying that I know that this subject if a little tiny bit iffy and it’s a bit specific and personal. I read your blog rules as i am new to your blog and tried to follow them as best as I could, but the general subject matter of my request my be a bit triggering so if you don’t want to write this I wholeheartedly understand and will continue to enjoy your other works.may I please request the boys (any characters, just some general headcannon stuffs) with a reader who has s/a trauma and has trust issues throughout the relationship because of it (thinking that people only want them for that reason)? whether they find out accidentally or not is up to you, I hope that you are having a good morning/day/afternoon/night! :) - anon

A/N: My love! Thank you for requesting! I am writing from my own experience, so apologies if not everything is universal!! I don't go into detail or write anything graphic, mostly generalized emotions, thoughts, etc. Please don't read if this could be triggering. I am always here if anyone wants to talk!!! Feedback is always appreciated 💕

Butcher is upset. Not because it changes how he sees you or feels about you, but because you really thought he was only interested in you for your body. Butcher is a pretty sexual person. He likes having sex, especially when it's with you. You've had to take a step back and figure out why he's with you. You fear he's only with you for sex. Butcher makes sure you know, from now on, he loves every part of you. You never told him about what happened, thinking it was in the past, but it's not, and that's okay. He doesn't pish you to share what happened, but he lets you know that if you want to tell him, you can. He definitely takes a look at his actions and change them so that you never feel this way again. It kills him to think of how long you must've assumed this before bringing the subject up to him. He never wants you to be scared to bring this up or any other issues. He talks more about the things he like and doesn't like, hoping it'll start the conversation so that you know you can always be open about disliking certain touches or acts while also saying what you do like. He wants to make sure you never feel like you have to hide something like that from him again. He wants to do better, be better, and he is. Slowly, but surely.

Hughie could tell something happened, but he never wanted to assume anything. You were so hesitant to go out with him, hesitant to call and text, afraid he'd want to do things you weren't able to at the time. When he asks if you're okay, you open up about what happened. You have to go slow, very slow, but you don't want him to have to wait for you. It's not fair. He smiles, telling you he would wait forever if he had to. He wants to be with you, that's all that matters. If your relationship is unconventional, so what? He never wants to put you in a position where you feel triggered, scared, or unsafe. He waits for you to make the first move/step, and he follows. When you feel ready to kiss him, he's more than excited. He's all for slow and steady. He's the first to come to your defense if Butcher or anyone else says something. You've never seen him so upset. Whatever you decide to share with him, he's grateful for. He never wants you to feel pressured to explain why certain touches, acts, features, etc. make you upset or angry or irritated or scared. Hughie communicates everything. In fact, he might even over communicate, though of course you know he means well. Nothing changes how he feels about you.

Annie is the first to open up about her experiences. She tells you about what happened with The Deep. She knows she told the whole world, but it's still a conversation she wanted to have with you now that you're together. In return, you tell her about your experience/s. She listens carefully and makes sure you know she understands. She assures you she would never, ever do anything like that and would make sure anything you do, everything ranging from hand holding and kisses on the cheek to all types of intercourse, are talked about beforehand. You both have certain boundaries you won't cross, and it's an open, ongoing conversation as to what you do and don't like, what feels most comfortable, etc. Neither of you thinks of the other any differently because of these boundaries. When you are triggered by certain words, gestures, people, etc. Annie is right by your side, talking you through it, making you know you're safe with her, you're safe now.

M.M. didn’t know, but he kinda put two and two together. You made it very clear in the beginning of your relationship that you'd have to go slow, building a new kind of trust from the ground up, going from friendship to partners. You jumped at the slightest touch, and he learned quickly to ask if you wanted a hug or to hold hands. When he realized something must have happened, he sat you down and explained you'd never have to tell him if you didn't want to, but he'd be more mindful from now on. He didn't want to assume anything, but you did confirm something happened, and you were still healing from it. After that, he was so much more careful and thoughtful with his actions. He never wanted you to feel judged or odd because of these changes to your relationship. You need a lot of reassurance that he isn't judging you, that he doesn't think of you any differently or mind being extra patient. He's never for a second thought of you or your relationship milestones as any different than past ones. You're still you, the person he loves. That's all that matters.

Frenchie suspected something might have happened. You fell apart when you had to go undercover with Kimiko in Russia. You couldn't bear the thought of someone even wanting to touch you like that, even if they'd end up dead afterward. He assures you you don't have to do it. It scares him a little. Not your reaction, but that fact that he wasn't paying attention beforehand. That's when you tell him what happened, why you can't let yourself be seen in that way, just for your body. Frenchie feels sick thinking you were put into this situation, forced to explain why when you might not have told me when you were ready. He doesn't tell why. He just says to Butcher, "Y/n's not doing it." Sensing something is wrong, Kimiko doubles down that she's got this handled alone. You voice your worries when you're home that he sees you differently. He doesn't. At all. He loves you. He loves you for you, not for your body or the kinds of pleasures you can share. Just you. He opens up about what happened with Little Nina, knowing you could understand. He doesn't do this as a way to turn attention towards him. Rather, it's to share so that you feel more comfortable opening up about your own experiences. He's more careful to show his affections, not wanting you to feel uncomfortable, and is far more committed to communication after your trip to Russia.

Kimiko sees red. She loves you more than anything. The fact that someone decided they had the right to do those kinds of things to you made her furious. She knows this is not at all helpful for you and immediately apologizes, assuring you she's here for you no matter what. She can get angry about it in her own time. She becomes so much more protective over you. You both have a lot of things you're relearning to do. The biggest challenge is intimacy. She never makes a move or tries something without consulting you and neither do you. Kimiko is shy as it is, something you're immensely grateful for. Your relationship is slow, and both of you are patient with one another. Taking baby steps is how you do it. You worry others will judge you for taking it so slow, especially since you've been together for quite a while, but Kimiko makes it known it is no one else's business. You take as long as you need. If anyone has an issue with it, they can take it up with her. She loves you. Nothing changes that. Nothing will ever change that.

[mypoisonedvine]

𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙤𝙢 || dieter bravo x camgirl!reader (part three; finale)

read 𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙩 (part one) and 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙢 (part two) first!

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 || he can't believe you're really here— now he has to just try not to blow it... figuratively speaking.

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩 || 5.7k

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 || smut (18+ only; unprotected sex, oral f receiving, multiple orgasms/overstimulation [for reader], creampie), sex work (however dieter technically does not pay the reader for sex, just her flight to visit him c:), mentions of covid-19 pandemic, soft dieter being soft, emotions!! lots of 'em!, extremely sappy/fluffy ending (oops?)

He wasn’t sure who he was more worried would get recognized: you, or himself.

It was his idea to go out to dinner first, in fact he’d insisted on it.  Going out to dinner in times like these was a bit iffy, but thankfully the place had outdoor dining and you’d both already tested negative— for more than just the virus…

It was a beautiful evening to eat outside, but it made him even more anxious that any passerby might know him either of you from your respective works; so far, no one had said anything though.

As he watched you take a sip of your sparkling water, he realized that he hadn’t had a crush on anyone in a long, long time.  He hadn’t had sweating palms and a racing heart and a dry throat over someone since probably high school.  By the time he was in his BFA program, he was so focused on his craft that he didn’t find himself worrying much about that sort of stuff— and if he wanted to get someone into bed, it didn’t seem like much to stress over.

This was different.  This wasn’t an issue of getting you to sleep with him, although he certainly hoped you wouldn’t renege on the intentions you’d stated before— this was about getting you to like him, maybe even (as he would’ve put it back when he last had a crush) ‘like like’ him.

“Was your flight okay?” Dieter asked compulsively to fill the silence, proud of himself for thinking of something to say.

“Still good,” you nodded.  “You asked me that when we first got here.”

“Right,” he sighed, “sorry.  I forgot.”

“It’s fine,” you laughed, setting your glass down on the white tablecloth.  “I’m nervous, too.  But in a good way.”

He smiled.  “Yeah— I’m just really excited that you’re here.  And it’s still kind of weirding me out that you’re… you know, real.”

“It’s definitely trippy,” you agreed.  “When you see somebody over video chat a lot, they look sort of surreal in real life.”

“Are you… speaking from experience?” he wondered, lowering his voice a bit.

“Yeah— but not this kind of experience,” you clarified.  “I’ve never met anyone from my work before— I told you that.”

“Right, yeah— I believe you,” he assured.  “Have you ever flown overseas just to meet someone before?”

You laughed, looking down for a second.  “No, I haven’t,” you answered, “but this isn’t the first time I’ve been, you know, wined and dined by somebody…”

“Well, I figured this wasn’t your first date,” Dieter scoffed.

“No, I mean— well, yeah,” you hummed, “but I, um… before I started camming, I was actually a sugar baby.  So I’ve had my flights paid for before, is what I mean.”

He widened his eyes a little, but nodded— hoping to look more intrigued than overwhelmed.  “Oh, wow, that’s— I don’t know a lot about that, honestly…”

“I was about to ask if you’d ever had a sugar baby before,” you smirked, “guess not.”

“Yeah, no,” he shook his head, “not my— not for me.  Not before, I mean— is that what you want?”

He got a little nervous that you would only want that— a relationship built on money.  He was more than happy to drop some cash on you— he’d offered to pay for everything for you on this trip, it only seemed fair when you had to come all this way— but he got a sick feeling in his stomach imagining that that was all you wanted from him.

But then again, he just said he didn’t know a lot about it, maybe it wasn’t like that… he just felt like it was another performance, and that was the last thing he needed from anybody.

“O-oh, no— not with us,” you answered quickly, blinking a few times, and he sighed with relief.  “I mean, it was nice— it wasn’t all old guys and crazy finance douchebags like people think,” you explained with a laugh, “but it was… it was hard work, in its own way.  ‘Cause another misconception is that it’s sex in exchange for money and gifts— it’s not, not the way I did it at least.  Those guys wanted the ‘girlfriend experience’... that’s the most profitable thing, whether it’s online or in-person.”

Dieter cleared his throat; can’t blame them, I guess…

“But, you know, they didn’t have the time for a genuine relationship, so it was like giving that emotion but never receiving it,” you continued, “and that was exhausting.  Not to mention most of them had other girls involved… I’m not a jealous person, but you know, that’s obviously not what I want for myself in the end.  So I switched to camming, worked out well with the pandemic and everything…”

“I’m sure,” Dieter agreed.  “So, um… maybe this is kind of a forward question, for a first date, but… what do you want for yourself in the end?”

You seemed to get a little more shy, then.  “Well…” you began softly.  “Despite what you’ve seen me do, I’m a pretty traditional girl.  I want a serious relationship, I want a lifelong commitment, I want… a family, probably.”

It was hard not to feel a lump in his throat when you said that, even if his emotions were conflicted at best.

“I mean— that doesn’t have to be you,” you rushed out, “I’m just saying… that’s the end goal.  I have a lot of time for that, in my opinion.”

“No, right,” he agreed.  “So then, I guess the obvious question— and probably a much easier one— is what’s your goal for tonight?”

You raised an eyebrow.  “I already told you my goal for tonight.”

He swallowed thickly.  He remembered your last message before getting on the plane pretty clearly: boarding now. hopefully i can get some sleep but i’m pretty wired ngl. just thinking about getting there and jumping your bones. i want you to fuck me so hard i can’t walk (or think) straight.

“Honestly, I wouldn’t have minded at all if you just took me straight to the hotel,” you smirked, “but dinner is nice.”

“Yeah, I— I thought about it,” he admitted.  “But… can I be honest?”

“Always.”

“I wanted this to be more than just… that,” he said.  He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to tell you, but he hoped it wouldn’t bother you too much.  Thankfully, the gentle smile creeping up your face seemed to indicate that it wasn’t particularly offensive.

“So, what do you want this to be?” you pressed.

“We can figure that out as we go,” he offered, “we should get to know each other better— for real.  But that night that we stayed up until three just talking after what was supposed to be a one-hour call—”

He saw you smile even wider as you remembered it.

“I haven’t felt close to anyone like that in—” he began, but it all stopped as the waiter suddenly appeared from thin air.

“Your tortellini, ma’am,” he said as he set your plate down in front of you, and you offered an intrigued ‘ooh’ as you examined the dish, “and your langoustines alla busara,” he finished as he set Dieter’s food down.

“Thank you,” you offered the server with a polite nod, but Dieter could only muster a hum— he was a little miffed that the guy had managed to interrupt such an important moment.

“Anything else I can get for you two?” he asked, looking back and forth.

You looked over at him to check first, before shaking your head and replying, “No, I think we’re alright.”

“Excellent,” he beamed.  “And— can I just say one thing?”

You both paused, not sure what to make of that.  “Uh, sure,” Dieter decided, since the waiter seemed to be looking at him.

“I loved you in Hunger Strike,” he said excitedly; Dieter tensed up, wanting to look at you to gauge your reaction but suddenly too afraid of what he’d find.

“Oh, thank you,” he mumbled out, “that… means a lot.”

“I mean, it really moved me,” the waiter insisted, even though Dieter just wanted this interaction to end promptly.  “You were so— I’m really not trying to intrude, but is there any way I can get your autograph?”

Then he looked at you, and he couldn’t quite read the expression on your face— amusement, maybe, with a hefty dose of discomfort as well.  You looked away and took a long sip of your drink.  “Uhh,” Dieter choked, looking back at his adoring fan, “you’ll get my autograph when you bring the check.”

Seeming to realize that he had gone too far, the young man straightened up and cleared his throat.  “Right, uh— enjoy your meal.”

Scampering away, he left the both of you behind, along with all that tension he’d created.  How come he got a escape a situation that was his own fault, and Dieter was stuck here wondering if you would be upset that he didn’t tell you who he really was— or if you’d reveal you were a crazy stalker-fan the whole time— or if knowing he was famous would change your interest in being with him (if you even had any)?

“I’m… sorry about that,” Dieter finally offered to you, and you started to smile.

“Don’t be,” you chuckled, “it was kinda funny.  Do you usually react so… badly, to that kind of thing?”

He coughed a bit.  “No, I— are you not…?  Do you know—?”

“I saw the movie, Hector, I don’t live under a rock,” you admitted.

“Oh.”  Not sure what to say next, he blurted out the first thing that came to mind: “What did you think of it?”

Shrugging, you answered with a simple ‘eh’.  There was a pause before he began to crack up— and then you did, too. 

“So, I’ve been worrying about all you finding out about my career for nothing?” he assumed, and you nodded.

“I didn’t recognize you right away,” you explained, “but I put it together before we planned all this.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he wondered.

“I mean, I didn’t think I needed to, really,” you shrugged again.  “It’s just your job.  I was ready to talk about it if you brought it up— if you wanted to vent about work or something— but you never did, so I figured it must not be relevant.”

“Does it… change anything between us?” he asked nervously.  “Do you feel weird about going out with a movie star?”

“Mm, I don’t know about star…” you smirked, making him laugh again— and that was the part that was the same as always.  You still made him laugh, and now that the two of you were really talking again, it felt just like that night that you talked for hours— but even better.

When the plates were cleaned and the bill was paid, the two of you walked back to his hotel— he’d picked this place in part because he could see it from his window.  But that brief walk back was one of his favorite parts of the night so far, only because he’d slipped his arm around you, and you leaned into him: in that moment, he felt more normal than he had in a long time— and yet, at the same time, special in a way he’d never felt before.

~

“I tried to clean up in here, but—”

“Isn’t there housekeeping for that?” you wondered.  

“Yeah, but… I’ve had the ‘do not disturb’ sign up for the past week,” Dieter explained.  “Didn’t want anyone to come in while we were talking…”

“Right,” you smiled, finishing your examination of the room and turning to face him again.  The door shut on its own; you were looking at him with every light in the room reflected in your eyes.

He stepped closer to you, and wrapped his arms around you, and— why were his palms so clammy?  “I don’t think I’ve been this nervous to kiss someone since… since maybe my first ever kiss,” he recalled, and you laughed softly.

“Yeah, me either,” you whispered back, and he ran his hand over the curve of your hip.  “Who was your first kiss?”

“Uh, Sandy something… Brendan, I think— no, Brennan… Sandy Brennan.  We sat next to each other in History class in seventh grade,” he recalled.  “What about you?”

“I mean, unless you count a peck or two from my kindergarten boyfriend,” you chuckled, “my first real kiss wasn’t until high school— Gregory Cho.  But I wasn’t that nervous… actually, I was sort of ready to get it over with.”

“There was someone I was really nervous to kiss in high school, too,” he recalled, “but that was… different.”

“Who was it?”

That name was much easier to recall.  “Alex Brooks.”

“Was she super pretty?  Or popular?” you pressed, wondering what had him so nervous, what made it different.

“Both,” Dieter replied quickly.  “And… he was captain of the basketball team.”

You didn’t react strongly, but he still noticed it.

“Is that—?” he began to ask.

“He sounds like a real catch,” you smiled.  “Was he a good kisser?”

“Yeah,” Dieter laughed, “for a high schooler.  I guess things don’t feel as special now as they did back then— just some decent making-out in someone’s dad’s truck was the coolest thing, now it’s like— it’s all right there, you don’t have to…” he trailed off, but started a new sentence.  “I mean, even you— I’ve seen every part of you, but I just really met you for the first time.  And somehow I’m so afraid to kiss you.”

You were still smiling, but it changed, and you reached up to rest your hand on the back of his neck; it made him shiver in the best way.  “If you’re afraid, then it must still be pretty special.”

You kissed him, after all that; he would’ve felt bad for making you wait, if he wasn’t so fully engrossed in kissing you back and pulling you closer and breathing in deeply against your skin.  

For a long time, that was all it was— just one, amazing kiss.  Just his lips on yours and the gentle dance of trying to go further without going to far; just your hands holding tightly onto his shoulders as he gripped your waist through the dress.

You started to pull him across the room by his shirt— towards the bed— and broke away to speak; he tried to chase your lips for more, but stopped when you bit your lip and rested a finger on his chin.

“You haven’t seen every part of me,” you corrected him— even though he barely fucking remembered saying that after a kiss like that.  “I mean, my body, sure, but… not who I really am.”

“Then show me that,” he pleaded.  “That’s what I want— you, everything.”

You smiled wide and kissed him again, the two of you toppling onto the bed together.  

He’d been thinking about doing this since the moment he saw you: pulling up the bottom of your dress so he could pet your thighs, enamored with the smoothness of your skin.  “Baby,” he purred when he caught sight of your panties— what little there was of them.  The lace just gave him a glimpse of what was beneath, a tease of your perfect little cunt.

“God, I need you so bad,” you groaned as you pulled him down for another kiss; he’d been hard since you wrapped your arms around him, and he could swear he was already throbbing by the time he rocked his hips against yours.  “Fuck— feels even bigger than it looked…”

“Maybe your computer screen wasn’t big enough,” he joked, making you laugh lightly before another moan came out when he rocked down on you again.  “What do you want, beautiful?”

“You… you know what I want…” you panted, wrapping your legs around his waist.

“Humor me,” he encouraged, moving in to kiss your neck— and loving the way you squirmed under him.

“Want— want you to fuck me,” you whimpered, “want you to make me— fuck— yours…”

He groaned deeply as he rutted his hips into yours harder, finally taunting you to the point that you had to reach down and start opening his pants.  “So eager,” he mocked playfully, as if he wasn’t going to ravage you the second you were done getting his cock out.

In fact, he almost tore your dress as he pulled it down to expose your chest, barely finding the time to appreciate the view of your tits before latching his mouth onto them.  “Oh fuck,” you gasped, and he smiled around the pert nipple in his mouth; these had seemed sensitive from the way you toyed with them as you touched yourself, but it was heaven on earth to confirm his suspicion himself.

“Want me to make you mine?” he prompted again, voice muffled by your delicate skin in his mouth, and you whimpered as you nodded.

“Yes— please—” you begged.

“Not sure I can do that,” he warned, and you gave him a confused look.  “You’re already mine, you told me yourself.”

You giggled, arching your back slightly as the tip of his tongue drew circles on you.  "I did say that, didn't I?"

"Mhm," he confirmed.  "Hard to forget."

"Well, m'still yours," you offered, "but I need you right now, I'll do— fuck, anything, just—"

"You don't need to do anything," he assured, looking up at you as he moved his mouth from your breast down a little lower, "just lay back and I'm gonna take care of you."

You bit your lip and nodded.

"Second I saw you I wanted to kiss you all over," he sighed.

"Well, I've got a couple ideas of where you can start," you smirked.

And yes, he would love to start there, but he needed to do his best not to rush this.  So, smiling up at you first, he began his journey.  His lips and tongue explored your body on his way down: a kiss here, a lick there, a playful bite when he felt extra naughty.  "You're so fucking beautiful," he mumbled against you.

"Yeah?  You too," you sighed.

He didn't think of himself like that— handsome, maybe, certainly aware of his better angles, but beautiful felt strange.  But he liked it, especially when you said it.  Especially when you said it while he was slotting his face between your legs.

It was even prettier up close, and the smell was fucking intoxicating: tangy and musky and sweet, heady, earthy, human.  And he knew you'd taste even better.

So he dove right in.  Maybe he should've started with your clit, that would've been the obvious choice, but his instincts led him to just slide his tongue right into your hole.  If nothing else, it certainly seemed to take you off guard, and you gasped as you grabbed onto his hair with both hands.

"Baby, fuck, that's— oh god, you can't imagine how many times I thought of this," you admitted, breathing heavy already.  He smiled against you, then gave you one big lick from the furthest down his tongue could reach all the way to the very top— all while holding fierce eye contact with you.  "Fu-uuuuck," you choked, dropping your head back just as your eyes rolled up.  "That's so… just do that again, please…"

He did it a few more times, noticing the way you seemed to get more impatient with each one, until your hips were chasing after his tongue.  "Stay still, baby, don't you trust me to do this right?" he purred, holding tighter on your hips.

"Yeah, I just— been so long," you whimpered.

He just did his best to find what made you scream the loudest and keep doing that— you were so sensitive, he just had to press his tongue down flat on your clit and move it in circles and you’d start shaking and sobbing and begging.  He moaned into you every time you tugged on his hair, having to rock his hips against the bed to appease his attention-deprived cock.

"You're… so amazing," you panted, "I— fuck! Oh god, I can't remember the last time someone—"

You never finished your thought, because he started fucking you with his tongue and you were too busy moaning his name, but he couldn't believe what a waste it was that nobody was eating this pussy on a regular basis.

"Gonna— oh fuck, yes, gonna come," you warned, "I… I'm gonna come so fucking hard…"

You started shaking, and he started fighting to keep you as still as he could so his work wouldn't be interrupted.  For a second he wondered if you were already coming or not— but then you made this noise, and your cunt clamped down on his tongue, and you cried out his name; it was perfect, it was the most beautiful moment he could ever imagine.

When it became too much, you went from tugging his hair to pushing him away with it, and he grinned up at you with a breathy laugh.  “Fuck, baby,” you whimpered, and he saw the tear streaks on your temples and cheeks.  He traced one with his thumb before kissing you again— deep and hungry, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.

He hummed when your hands reached down to work on getting his pants off— eager and shaky, he certainly related to that.  As soon as your hand wrapped around his cock, he moaned, just from that.  He was almost embarrassed about it, until you bit his lip in playful encouragement.  "Does that feel good?" you purred.

"Yeah— your hands are better than mine," he laughed breathlessly.  

"How about this?" you raised an eyebrow, swiping your thumb over his slit, and he groaned as he rocked into your touch.

"God, baby…" he groaned.  As good as it felt, he found the strength to grab you by both your wrists and pin them down by your head.  You grinned, struggling just a bit, and moaned as he slid his cock against your soaking pussy.

“Don’t tease me,” you begged, “feels like I’ve been waiting forever.”

But he wasn’t teasing you— he was psyching himself up.

Believe it or not, he actually felt pretty nervous about this part.  Not for a lack of experience— for the entirely opposite reason.  Dieter had been with a lot of people, and for the most part, it was all… the same.  It all blended together— he only remembered those people from when he was a kid because he was a kid, and his romantic encounters were so few and far between.  He could remember details of his various partners from the last few years— Crystal who had a clit piercing, Marvin who begged to be choked, Cameron who seemed to enjoy giving him a blowjob even more than he enjoyed receiving it— but this, the actual sex, it was generally pretty interchangeable.  

So, he was worried that after all that build-up, after all the yearning and fantasizing and talking, that this would be the end of it being special— and you would just turn into a hook-up with a slightly more interesting backstory than the rest.  

As valid as that fear was, it was far from enough to stop him now, not when you were looking up at him and tightening your fists as he kept you pinned and silently begging for him with your eyes.

He had to let go of one of your hands to guide himself inside, but he interlaced the other with your fingers while he did it— and then, with one strong push, he was fully within you.

“Oh my god,” he gasped, “you feel… different.”

You raised an eyebrow, chuckling a little.  “Uh, different than what?”

Than everyone else.  “I— I don’t know,” he breathed, “I’m not making sense.”

“Not really,” you agreed with a laugh.

“Hard to think straight right now,” he defended.

It wasn’t just that you felt different— it was that this felt different: being with someone he really cared about, that he wanted to impress, that he wanted to see after this was over.

Someone that he never wanted to let go of.

“You feel so fucking perfect,” you whimpered, “fuck, don’t stop— feels so good—”

One of the benefits of making you come on his tongue first was that he knew it wouldn't be that bad if he didn't last too long now— though that wasn't why he did it.  In fact, this was rarely his issue, if anything sometimes he struggled to finish for unclear reasons.

But even if he could get away with finishing quickly, he wanted to make this last as long as he could.  He never wanted this to end, actually.

As he found his pace— not too speedy yet, but with a bit of his eagerness showing— he kissed you again, deeply and hungrily.  He wondered if he'd ever done this before: kissing during sex.  He felt like he probably had, and yet he couldn't remember it— maybe that said more than anything.

This, on the other hand, was very memorable.  He slid his arms under you when your back arched, he held you tight and close and drank in every one of your moans through that kiss.

For how many times he’d pictured fucking you, he never really imagined it like this… and he thought he’d imagined it every way before.  But he realized that he’d mostly imagined it a bit kinker— you riding him, or him fucking you while you were bent over the table in his room, or 69’ing or something.  This was passionate, and sorta slow; this was his hips grinding on yours with every thrust so he could keep rubbing your sore clit; this was making love, he realized— if it wasn’t, he couldn’t imagine what was.

“I— fuck, baby— think I’m gonna come again,” you warned him with the most beautiful whiny sob.

“Fuck, already?” he smiled, and you nodded feverishly.  

“Just… don’t stop, please, just like that— fuuuuck!” you choked, and he gasped every time your walls clenched down on him.

“You’re so fucking perfect, fuck,” he grunted, moving a bit faster and not letting up on the pressure from his pubic bone on your clit, even when you actually screamed under him.  “You’re so amazing, oh god, I—”

He heard it before he said it: I think I love you.  He stopped himself before blurting it out— maybe he’d tell you after, but he wasn’t so far gone to forget that this wasn’t the right time.  You’d think he didn’t really mean it, that it was just the delirium talking from how incredible you felt, but he knew it was so much more than that.

He shut himself up by kissing your neck— not too hard, but plenty to leave a mark, and make you squirm in the process.  Your hands wrapped around his back and your nails dug into his skin, but he couldn’t even feel the pain of it, he couldn’t feel anything but the sticky, resplendent heat of your body.

“So much fucking better than the goddamn dildos,” you said suddenly, and he laughed against your skin.  

“Do you miss all those people watching you come?” he wondered.

“No, fuck no,” you panted, “there’s nobody else but you.”

He couldn’t help but fuck you faster when you said that— you should’ve known better than to stroke his ego that way.

“Fuck!” you sobbed.  “Hector, baby, you’re so— oh god, I don’t know if I can take it—”

“Shh, you can,” he promised, “you can do anything, you can come for me again—”

“Oh fuck, I— I might,” you admitted shakily, “but then I’ll— I’ll fucking pass out or something.”

“No, you’ll be okay,” he promised, cooing at you softly.  “You’ll be so good for me, I know you will— just come for me one more time, baby, tell me what you need to come again.”

“I… just a little time is all I need,” you answered, voice breaking.  “I swear I’ve never— I’m not usually so— fuck, it’s just you—”

“I know,” he assured, loving the way you babbled praises but worried it would distract you from coming again; and if you didn’t soon, there wouldn’t be time before he lost it.  He was already barely able to keep his composure just from how beautiful you looked like this, let alone how you felt.  “I know, just let it happen, I know it’s right there for me— just come for me, beautiful—”

You dragged him down into a sloppy kiss, and he felt it— those incredible pulses inside you, waves of slick coating him until he felt sticky all the way down his thighs; your sobs were more precious than anything he’d ever heard.

“Fuck, that’s good,” he praised, fucking you even faster now as your head fell back limply.  “I can’t h-hold back anymore, I need to—”

“I know,” you said to him this time, “it’s okay, please— want you to…”

“You still— oh my god…” he choked, losing his train of thought for a moment.  “You still want me to come inside you?  Wanna be full?”

“Yes,” you whined, “yes, baby, please— wanna be so full of your come, I want everything—”

"Fuck, okay," he agreed, gasping as he tried to keep up his pace despite the growing pressure inside.  "I'm really fucking close…”

“I’m yours,” you told him again— and then he went from ‘really fucking close’ to ‘already fucking there’.  He came inside you with a long, whimpered groan; his head dropped onto your shoulder while each pump filled you, trying to catch his breath but feeling like he’d never find it again.

Admitting he loved you during sex wasn’t a good idea, but saying it immediately after wasn’t that much of an improvement.  Now, though, he was too exhausted to keep his mouth shut.  “I think I love you,” he blurted out suddenly.

For one incredibly long second, you didn’t react at all.  You looked up at him, and he hesitated to even look back because he didn’t want to see anything less than ecstasy on your face.  “Oh,” you said, “cool.”

He wasn’t sure what reaction he anticipated, good or bad, but it wasn’t that.

“Let me know when you know,” you suggested.

“No!  No— I know,” he insisted, reaching up to hold your face, “I know.  I love you.  I think I did even before you came here, but… it just seemed so crazy.  We don’t know each other as well as we should for that, right?  But I feel it— I feel something that I just can’t explain—”

“Hey, slow down,” you laughed, “I feel it too.”

The way you smiled at him, resting your hand on his chest— was he glowing?  He felt like he was actually glowing.  “Good,” he decided.

“Let’s get to know each other better, then,” you announced.  “Start from the beginning, the whole thing: parents, siblings, school, favorite movies, worst dates, hot dogs or hamburgers—”

“No, you start,” he pouted, “you’re more interesting.”

“Me?  Please, I’m just your average camgirl titty streamer, don’t worry about it,” you scoffed.

“And I’m just some lame old Oscar winner,” he shrugged.

But both of you talked— all night, actually.  You never fell asleep, he was never even that tired— you kept him so full of energy he didn’t even notice how long it had been until the sun started to come up.  And then you kept talking at breakfast.  And then you fucked again, and talked some more after; he knew it had to end, eventually, but he didn’t even want to think about it.  He didn’t want to think about you going home and letting something so perfect end.

He told you just as much on the last night— assuming you didn’t switch your flight home to a later day again.  You’d just been laying in his arms after another bout of passionately desperate fucking, both of you half-asleep but not wanting the separation of even just unconsciousness, and he blurted it out.

“Don’t leave,” he pleaded under his breath.  “I don’t want you to go.”

“I know you don’t,” you returned softly.  

“I don’t want this to end.”

You were quiet for a while, turning over on your side to face him, tracing your fingers over his chest gently.  “It doesn’t have to end, just because I leave,” you mumbled.  “I know it’s crazy, but we can be together, even if we’re not… together.  I mean, I’m certainly not gonna be with anybody else—”

“Me either,” he said quickly, before he could change his own mind with the doubts— the voice in his head that said he could never settle down because he’s too fucked up.  “I only want you.”

“It’ll suck, being far away from each other— but you’ll be back Stateside eventually, right?” you assumed.

“God, I hope so,” he sighed, “if the world doesn’t end.”

“If it does,” you whispered, moving in closer, “I hope it’s tonight.  I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else but here.”

It was a romantic thought, but as he kissed you, he realized he’d never wanted the world to end less than he did right now.  He never longed for an apocalypse or anything, even on nights that his doubts and anxieties made him yearn for oblivion just for himself, but just now he could’ve cried thinking about everything falling apart tonight.  Whether it be by fiery explosion or a quiet, instant disappearance, he couldn’t let armageddon happen now— now that he had you.  For the first time, he saw himself having a future, in a way he never had before.  Existing as a ‘celebrity’ meant being on the edge of irrelevance at any moment, knowing this could all go away overnight and you’d just be ‘that guy who was in that thing that one time’.  

But this time, he stood on a precipice of something wonderful, of something natural, and it was the most beautifully terrifying unknown.  It was tomorrow.  Tomorrow, you’d get on the plane; tomorrow, you’d leave, because the world wasn’t going to end tonight.  But his life was going to start tonight, and he didn’t have to face it alone anymore.

[pupkinpumpkin]

Oh fuck I completely forgot

K, so, in Asunder, there's a scene where Lord Seeker Lambert comes to Evangeline's room and gives her 4 vials of lyrium for her trip

Later on in Asunder, when the team is coming back from the Western Approach,

1) Evangeline (Or Rhys, I don't remember who) notes that it's been two weeks since they left

2) When Rhys tries to convince Evangeline to run away with him, she shows him 3 empty vials and 1 full vial of lyrium (I think, the 4th vial might also be a bit empty). She says she's addicted and will be useless in a week. She also repeats this later on to Wynne

So we can conclude:

- Once a Templar is addicted, it takes about a week for the withdrawal symptoms to come in. Evangeline doesn't abuse the stuff though, and she shows a lot of restraint, so this might be the wait time for an average Templar, but it's probably much shorter for a Templar who's actively abusing lyrium

- We have no idea if Evangeline's taking lyrium one vial at a time or taking micro doses, but three full vials of lyrium are gone in the span of two weeks, meaning she's taking this shit pretty regularly. To my knowledge, we've never had an idea of how often Templars are taking lyrium, so this is great information to have

I can't remember fully where it's said, so correct me if I'm wrong, but Cullen, when talking about becoming a Templar, says that after their Vigil, they get a philter (a box of stuff that prepares the lyrium), and their first draught of lyrium, so Evangeline probably has this on her during her trip and philters are needed in order to properly take lyrium

Now for the iffy part

- In Origins, Alistair says he's never taken lyrium. This is a lie, but probably one he didn't know about

- The Joining requires lyrium as an ingredient, so Alistair definitely ingested at least a little bit

- Alistair is able to use his powers as a Templar for an entire year

As much as I'd like this to mean Templars definitely don't need to be taking lyrium as often as they do, there could be multiple reasons for this

- The amount of time lyrium works for a Templar simply got retconned and they do actually need to take lyrium often. Boo

- Bc The Joining changes a Grey Warden forever, it's possible that the lyrium is now permanently in a Grey Warden's veins just like the taint is, meaning Alistair could use his Templar powers forever if he wanted

- Alistair is just the Maker's specialist little boy and gets to be exempt from things like withdrawals because of his family's bloodline.

Also, in the Silent Grove, like 8 years after Origins I think, when Alistair, Varric, Isabela, and Maevaris are surrounded by mage occultists or whatever, Alistair uses his Templar powers. Someone asks him how he did this, and he just says something like "I knew we were coming to Tevinter so I decided my Templar powers would be useful, so I got back into practice"

We never find out what this means

Whether he decided to take a little bit of lyrium, or is just cool enough to not need it, is up to anyone

We also have no idea how long Cullen is able to use his Templar powers in Inquisition since I'm pretty sure we never see him in action besides in his personal quest when trying to find Samson, but he'd literally have no reason to use Templar powers on other Templars, so who knows?

So in all, we've basically no clue how often Templars NEED to take lyrium and no official date for how long their powers last after they stop taking it, but we do know ~generally~ how often they're taking it, which I don't believe we knew before

I personally like to think that Templars could just take lyrium like once a year but the Chantry likes to have them on a leash so they make them take it way more often so they get addicted because the Chantry is terrible

But ya, that one line made me spiral

[theprettynosferatu]

State of the Blog, December, 2024

IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF THE FAR FUTURE THERE IS ONLY KINK

Sorry. Couldn't help myself. I have to say, there is a part of me that looks forward and sees grim and dark times indeed. So this might be a bit of a bummer post- feel free to skip it and resume your blessed edging. Edging pleases She Who Thirsts.

I - On Output

Well, we're back to a semi-regular schedule! I've been managing to write a lot more than on the first half of the year and the Library keeps growing! I haven't been able to do as many captions as I'd like for a variety of issues, which will be addressed in another section.

I do want to write more short, direct-to-reader texts. It might seem silly, but those texts are for me harder to write than stories: since they don't have the structure of a regular narrative tale, they need to come from a particular mood on my part, which has been elusive these days. But I really want to make more of them when I can.

But to be honest I'm quite happy that after months of semi dormancy I was able to write and produce stuff for you all!

II - On Captions and AI

Yes I'm still using AI and yes I still hate it- and I haven't found a viable alternative yet. See the previous state of the blog for details.

One of the keys, to me, to making captions is to look at a picture and see what vibe I get, what secret longing could be hidden behind it, how it can be transformed by text into something both new and enhanced by the image itself- and AI sucks for that. For every caption I make, I stare at or try to generate a ton of images. There's a... soulless quality to most of what the machine spits out. I can't quite put my finger on it. Can't simulate a soul, I suppose.

III - On The Current Times and Kink

Perhaps you've noticed a slight shift in tone lately. For instance, I've only written commissions that were girl/girl since the election, and the captions have more or less steered away from themes of female submission.

I'm sure this is a temporary thing, and I'll be back on my patriarchy kink train soon enough- but it feels a bit iffy to make such content right now. When assholes are screaming "your body, my choice" outside of kink, in real life... well, it feels a lot less like fun escapism, doesn't it? The last thing I want to ever do with my content is to harm someone or contribute to an ideology I absolutely despise.

So just to recap: fuck fascists, fuck real sexists, fuck real racists, fuck anyone that ever sees someone else as lesser. And a special fuck you to transphobes- emboldened little twerps.

So be kind to one another. Help one another, especially if you are in America. A lot of shit is going to happen, and mutual aid and support will be crucial.

[milkytheholy1]

TMNT Masterlist

2003:

Leo:

Third base - Leo x Female Reader

Hey everyone, I currently have two requests left to do but I really want to get some stories that I personally came up with as well. I really want to try writing for different versions of the turts besides 2012 and Rise even if they are my fav versions. Sorry if the character interactions are a bit iffy in this one, I haven't seen much of the 2003 series I'm only up to season 2.

Donnie:

Drawn to you - Donnie x GN Reader

No, the tech-savvy turtle was drawn to you by your persistence, by the way you poured yourself into your work, how you understood the need to complete something no matter how long it took.

Mikey:

Turtle titan to the rescue! - Mikey x Female Reader

Okay so far warning, I haven’t really watched past season 3 of the 2003 series, I have been working my way through it though. So some characters might not sound or act like how they should from the show and I might end up getting some stuff wrong, so sorry in advance. This story will flip between 1st and 3rd person narrative.

2012:

All Turtles:

Turtle Power part 1

What if you included even more turtles in the hit tmnt movie, TMNT:Turtles Forever? This isn't an X Reader fic and takes places in the 2012 universe...well, for the start at least.

Leo:

Dear diary - Leo x GN Reader

Leo practicing how to ask them out with many many scripts for acting in front of a mirror:") or maybe they find out about his diary! You can pick

A confident strut - Leo x GN Reader

Went with the first one since it's been some time since I wrote for my 2012 boy! This is going to be set before the whole sister reveal, but I wanna make it clear that I do not ship Karai and Leo together cause that shit is gross. Enjoy!

I heard you - Leo x Female Reader

The reader,who has a crush on Leo, waits by Leo's side for him to wake up in the farm house and she is so relieved when he wakes up after months

Not traditional - Leo x Male Reader

The reader is giving Leo a whole sexuality crisis so Leo asks April if it's weird for a guy to like another guy and April reassures him that it's perfectly normal, and later that week Leo accidentally slips that he likes (y/n) and in a flash the have this little moment of understanding that they both like each other and want to be more than friends.

Goodbye Leonardo part 1 - Leo x Female Reader

I know what you're thinking, two stories in one night? This is somewhat based on the season four episode: Broken Foot. Also sorry it's so long but I had to fill in some blanks to get to the build-up of the story and sorry for the rushed ending it's currently past midnight where I'm from and I'm very tired.

Goodbye Leonardo part 2 - Leo x Female Reader

Okay, okay, you'll get your stinking part 2. This is probably one of the most requested fics I've ever done, the original intention was to leave it as a standalone fic. But, because you all seem eager for more I eventually broke and decided to do it. This is set a few years after the original and doesn't follow the episode 'Broken Foot' like the original oneshot. In my opinion, it's also waaay more angsty and it might actually be sadder than the first one. So I hope the wait was worth it, enjoy!

Donnie:

Wrong about me - Donnie x Female Reader

Donnie gets cheated on by April and (y/n) finds out and hurts April's feelings then comforts Donnie?

Hot - Donnie x Female Reader

Donnie was talking about some science stuff the last 20 minutes, but reader can't fully pay attention to what he's saying because they're just thinking about his voice, his gestures and everything. They think "don't you realize how hot you are?", but Donnie stops talking and reader realizes they just said that out loud and now they want to die.

Happy birthday - Donnie x GN Reader

it’s the reader’s birthday and the turtles just find out and they have to quickly set up a surprise birthday for the reader.

Well done science boy - Donnie x GN Reader

Had this idea in my head for a few days so thought I'd post it, I wanted to make it a shorter story than what I normally do but I got too lost in it and it ended up being just as long, oops. Hope you enjoy!

Hello nurse - Donnie x Female Reader

Literally did this so I could pull off one reference, that's all. Enjoy!

Raph:

Hots for you - Raph x Female Reader

Raph finds out that his girlfriend is bisexual?

Heard you from a mile away - Raph x GN Reader

not going to lie I had to search up what it meant, decided to do Raph since i've never written for him before in the 2012 version. So if this comes across as out of character, apologies. Anyway, enjoy!

2014/2016: Leo:

Red lips - Leo x Female Reader

“Don’t give me that face, it’s so cute I might not be able to hold back.”

Donnie:

Five years - Donnie x Female Reader

Donnie creates a portal that transports them to 2021.

Five years alt ending - Donnie x Female Reader

It’s weird how many people have asked me for them to have kids, but I guess if that’s what you guys want to see then here is a short version 2, if you will, of five years. Be sure to read the original or it won’t really make much sense, this is just the ending. Enjoy!

Life is a dream part 1 - Donnie x GN Reader

You felt the small vibrations of your phone in your pocket, pulling it out you saw Donnie was once again calling you crap, "H-hey Donnie, I promise I'm on Allen Street. I'm like less than a minute away." you panted into the device. You could hear his sigh through the speaker, "Don't worry about it, I'm just wasting valuable pop tart time." he joked, your laughter was his reward.

Part 2 - Donnie x GN Reader

Speaking of the brothers, Mikey was sat playing some video games while leaning over to slurp his coke, you could hear panting and the sounds of something being destroyed coming from the dojo Raph. Finally taking lighter steps into the lair, you could smell a sweet fragrance waft through the air Leo.

Part 3 - Donnie x GN Reader

"Do you remember that video where the cat plays chopsticks with the chopsticks?" Mikey asked, pushing aside Donnie and getting closer to your face. You flinched at his close proximity, your mind still trying to adjust to your bright surroundings. "Can we focus here?" Leo argued, pulling Mikey away from you, he securely wrapped his arm around his younger brother in case he felt the need to jump at you again.

Final part - Donnie x GN Reader

"What?" he asked, "Can I ask you something?" You pondered why you were willing to tell Raph some of your deep, dark thoughts and not someone like Donatello "It's a free country," he quipped going back to his knitting. "Right," you said, glancing down to avoid making eye contact "It's just that...do you think- feel like something is off?"

Mikey:

Parading in style - Mikey x Male Reader

So I don’t know much about pride parades in NYC but I can only imagine they’re triple the ones from where I’m from, I’m also not going to give you a description of Mikey’s human form as that can be up to you. I’ve learned from experience that everyone has a different view of these characters and it’s unfair to the reader to force them to take my view of what he could look like, so yeah he looks like whatever you want him to. Hope you enjoy!

Raph:

A cold night in new  - Raph x Female Reader

Reader's apartment building's heat went out during a really chilly spring day, so when raph comes over he's all like "why tf does she have the thermostat on 5 degrees", but then he finds her cuddled up with tons of blankets on the couch, watching tv. after turning down the volume, reader explains the situation with the heat while shivering and clutching the blankets. raph has a brilliant plan for this.

Begging - Raph x Female Reader

Bayverse Raph and his S.O get into a huge fight and he hurts her feelings and Raph found her on the rooftop crying and he asks for forgiveness

Seeing you - Raph x Female Reader

The reader feels invisible and lonely, so she confides in Raph and telling him how her current boyfriend is using and abusing her. Then later on Raph confesses his feelings for the reader but her abusive boyfriend catches the reader and raph together.

I promise - Raph x Female Reader

The reader has scars from her mother and she shows Raph while crying about them and Raph listens and comforts her.tumblr

[cuppajj]

Hwello! Black Pearl anon back again with another inquiry about the good ol' Duskgloom Sovereign in BAAU—

So BP would understandably be enraged after Dragonberry whoops her tail, but do you think she would do anything besides sulk and await the day DB returns to get revenge? 

BP strikes me as a character who, while not in the best headspace, would dread the idea of being defeated by a land Cookie, and would want to avoid such a fate at all costs. Maybe a fight with DB is a wake up call that some major stuff is happening outside the Duskgloom Sea, stuff that could potentially one day come knocking at her door.

CRK lore is a bit iffy about whether or not BP can leave the Duskgloom Sea, but I doubt she would remain idle after seeing the threat that DB alone poses to her… 

BP begrudgingly might be willing to make a deal, perhaps to ensure the safety of her sea, perhaps to gain even more power, perhaps to simply help others work against DB (and the other [Neo]Beasts)… or work with them.

idk I might just be nerding out about BP too much. love baau regardless, you're doing a beautiful job!

Helllloooooo BP anon :)

That is a good question!! I also like the idea of her actively hunting Dragonberry down, but it just depends on if she can leave the duskgloom sea… which honestly I’m pretty sure she can (afaik the duskgloom sea is just her stomping grounds and not a place she’s tethered to), she just has no reason to.

That is unless she’s petty enough to chase after Dragonberry! It’s fun to think about a minor saga where Dragonberry’s kingdom is threatened directly by the legendary. I’m fairly certain her kingdom is coastal, so I can see a vivid image of the beast of pride stepping out on her balcony to see the mer looming over the horizon with hateful, glowing eyes. If she’s here, Dragonberry figures, then she wants something from her; and she knows what that is.

Dragonberry would be more guarded since BP showed up to her kingdom, so there are liabilities all over the place, but she’s not against sending Black Pearl into the sea again. She might even bring Pitaya out to play!

Cue part two of the epic girlboss anime battle that ends with BP getting her ass kicked again, but she did put more of a number on Dragonberry. The beast would probably respect her enough to offer to leave her sea alone (there’s nothing of interest there like she first thought) if she plays nice and does something for her; I totally see her interested in a (subservient) ally in BP, who could serve as some good intimidation for the beast—especially towards Cacao, whose licorice sea is gradually getting closer to invading her kingdom’s waters. And if BP refuses… Dragonberry won’t be mad, won’t even kill her if she can, but she’d laugh and look forward to knocking on her door a third time.

If they do become allies then Dragonberry would definitely know that Pearl still wants to destroy her; compromise or not, she’d always be eager to fight the mer again.

[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 56 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | all lessons | season 3 | lesson 55.1 | lesson 55.2 | lesson 56.2 | lesson 57.1 | lesson 57.2

giving us a tiny bit of romance at the very last second huh (yes i'm bitter leave me alone)

but WHY did raphael up and poof us to babel (if he's the one that did it at all)

and how is any of this, along with the rest of the loose plot ends, gonna get resolved in the next 4 lessons 🤠 cutting the in-game series off at this point feels like a slap in the fact and is part of the reason i haven't posted/read anything until now

that and finals season...sigh

oh i'm so sad

isn't babel's whole thing that you get one wish granted ??

did raphael wish to see the brothers and simeon in their angel forms one last time bc he knows he'll never see them like that again ??? bc simeon was the last connection to his past and now he's losing him like he lost the brothers ???? i'm gonna be sick

his will and longing for the past was so strong that it caused them to come to babel in his sleep...I'M SICK

ok or maybe i'm being overly sentimental. but i feel like the only person with enough power to do smth like this to raphael would be god himself or michael

maybe michael wanted to help raphael and sent him to babel to fulfill a wish bc he knows what's been bothering him ?? or maybe i'm giving him too much grace. idk. i'm still iffy about that man

now...he knows as well as we do that there's NO CHANCE in simeon being forgiven by their father

i truly truly truly hope the devs don't retcon simeon's fall from grace bc i loved that part of his development and what we've seen from him as a result. learning how to be a human only to have it be flipped on the head as he slowly turns to a demon is such an interesting concept and shouldn't be thrown away this late in the story. especially considering the fact that we have 4 lessons left after this and then we're done for good

solmare if you love me do NOT pull that shit

reading this kinda made the realization sink in. like we're not getting any in-game content after this

we don't get to see luke grow up anymore despite them building up his character so much this season

we won't get to see how any of the characters' dynamics with each other play into whatever chaos they're thrown into

we might not even get in-person stuff given the fact that a good amount of the fanbase isn't in japan

i'm so sad y'all. like truly. i've been playing this game since the week before covid lockdown and now it feels like it's going away for good. and i really don't want the fandom to die off like other fandoms i've been in

...the disappointment that coursed through my veins when i saw solomon

like sol baby i love you but not rn

the voiceline didn't even fucking SOUND LIKE HIM why would they fake me out like this

can't they at LEAST give us a michael design before the game stops updating. like nbs they've been talking about him since the first game and have yet to give us more than a 2 second long TEXT CHAIN

the dialogue after was funny asl i can't lie

what is going awn. like is his wish too strong to be fulfilled, or is his mental stability linked to babel or smth ?? ik he was supposed to be the one at the gate controlling who could and couldn't enter earlier in the season but what does that have to do with what's happening rn ????

oh they love pissing me off. why was this part of the lesson literally 2 seconds long. i'm tired of cliffhangers like actually

can they pull an early april fools and extend the game's run. i'm begging atp. like genuinely

[alpaca-clouds]

Some thoughts on Nocturne

Okay, we finally have a trailer and some actual information on the show, I think it is kinda fun to speculate, right? And just have some thoughts. No, scratch that: Actually I got a lot of thoughts. Even though barely anything is confirmed.

Firstly: Yeah, let's face it, it does not look like there is a ton of plot tonna survive from the two games inspiring it. Which undoubtedly will once again leave the game fans angry. But even though I enjoyed the heck out of Symphony of the Night (still gotta play Rondo full), I still think it is kinda a good thing. Because most Castlevania games are fairly light on story. Which - I said this before - is okay. It is totally okay for a videogame to be like: "Slay big monster." But if you want to translate it into a more narrative focused medium, you gotta change stuff.

I was originally kinda sceptical about the entire French Revolution thing for two reasons. 1) Well, technically I doubt that the French Revolution is still gonna happen after how the first series ended. But that might just be me. 2) Western Media, but American Media especially sucks when it comes to portrayels of the French Revolution as it usually goes back to the "There were good people on both sides!" kinda outlook, that does not really get the revolution and everything that was going on.

Funnily enough the thing that made me a bit more optimistic on this point is just them making Annette Black and from what I gather from that preview article released two days someone who has escaped slavery. I mean, game!Annette is just the usual passive kinda woman for the most part. And this is... definitely more interesting than that.

Especially given there is also another detail that nobody seems to acknowledge: Outside of showrunner Clive Bradley, all the episode writers (Temi Oh, Testament and Zodwa Nyoni) are Black. Which kinda seems like a very conscious choice. And given that the French Revolution does not get the credit it deserves as an abolition movement and something that definitely also helped to lead to the Haitain Revolution, I start to get my hopes up that they are gonna actually work with that aspect of the (hi)story.

One thing that is also interesting to me - though also kinda iffy - is the thing with Orlox and Richter's mother.

Iffy because it makes Richter join the ranks of Castlevania protagonists at least partly inspired by the death of a woman. What is it with this franchise and that fucking refrigirating warehouse filled with women?! I mean, Jesus, you people are aware that man can actually be inspired to do stuff for other reasons than a woman dying, right?!

But... We also know that Orlox does not seem to be the main antagonist, but apparently is someone who ends up making uneasy allies with Richter and Co., which kinda makes me hope that there is actually gonna be a bit more nuance to this than it appears at first glance.

Orlox says in the trailer that Richter's mom killed someone very dear to him (honestly, if this is gonna be another refrigerated woman, I am gonna flip a fucking table, though I guess I also do not want buried gays) and a part of me kinda hopes that it might go into the direction I brought up concerning my Belmont family headcanon with this discussing the idea of "killing all vampires is kinda bad, too".

Another thing about Orlox is, too, that he is not white. I read him as Black originally, but given that he is voiced by Zahn McClarnon, who is indigenous, I am gonna assume Orlox here is of Indigenous heritage. Which is gonna make for an interesting storybeat, given that in the series so far we had non-white vampires, yes, but... none of them had much in terms of story, let alone even voicelines.

Especially given another thing...

Given from what we see in the trailer, there definitely is gonna be a theme of "nobility = vampires" going on here. We can only guess about how much of it being like actual: "Oh, yeah, all nobles are vampires!" But there are definitely gonna be some vampires nobles opposed to the revolution. That seems to be pretty clear.

Aaaaaand... that makes me wonder, whether or not there is actually gonna be some commentary about the different ranks within vampire society.

Let me explain: All vampires with voicelines (or, heck, NAMES) within the original Castlevania series were nobles of some sort. It was what in other franchises would be called Vampire Lords. Well, with the exception of Ratko, that is, who explicitly is a soldier. Most of the vampire soldiers are just faceless characters with the same four designs repeating over and over. They are just the canon fodder who dies, when the heroes need their action scenes. But... That always made me wonder what vampire society actually looked like for these people.

And given the time this is now set in... and that Orlox is apparently indigenous... I kinda doubt that he is a vampire lord, given the times. If we have the vampire nobility being actual nobility... They gotta be racist, right?

Maybe I am just conjecturing too much here. But... That would actually make for an interesting idea.

Also, also... In the original show there is not a single Black or Arabian vampire. Which is also... interesting. Just saying.

We also know that the main antagonist seems to be Erzsebet Báthory (rather than Shaft or Dracula, though obviously this could also be the trailer trying to mislead us).

Fun Fact: Did you know that there is two vampires in the Castlevania games based on historical serial killers, who these days are both presumed to have been innocent? (Bathory and de Rais.)

This is something where I am super interested to see, where they are going to go with the character. Because there definitely is this historical assumption these days that she might have been innocent - and man would that make for a more interesting character than her being actually just a child murderer.

We so far see too little of her to really speculate much. But I definitely find it interesting that they have chosen her as the antagonist.

Also... There is this whole thing of Vampire Messiah and all of that going on and blocking out the sun and what not. And I kinda do wonder if anyone is gonna go like: "Uhm, yeah, without a sun we cannot grow shit and everyone is gonna starve, including vampires!"

Other more short form thoughts:

We see this night creature apparently saving Annette from a vampire or other night creature. What's up with that? Or is it even a night creature? We definitely see night creatures in that big eclipse scene, but there issomething else that might be going on here. Because...

Admittedly, the one vampire I have trouble placing in my theory is this one. She does seem to be on the side of Bathory in this based on everything we see in the trailer. From all I can find, she does not have a name as far as I could find. But she does fight Annette and all of that. And she definitely is Black, making me wonder what her story is.

BUUUUUT... If you look at her full design in the scene where she is fighting Annette, she looks remarkably like the night creature saving Annette in the above screenshot. So...

We see those masked figures in the trailer, with the clear implication that they are vampires. And last night (well, European night that is) someone on one of the servers was like: "Hey, is the blond masked guy Alucard with short hair?" And I originally brushed it off. But... I also think now they might be right, because he has normal ears and not poity vampire ears. And that is only something we saw in Alucard so far (not that we see a ton of his ears - which made me to always assume for my fics he has pointy ears, but I crossreferenced the models and yeah, no, Alucard has normal ears). So, either this is Alucard... or some other dhampir. Probably not a full-blooded vampire though.

In this one shot of what seems to be Annette using her magic, we see that she has a Fleur-de-lis either painted, tattooed or branded on her right hand. And I gotta wonder what is up with that. Given that she is a freed/runaway slave, I do wonder whether she has some ties to the royal family in one way or another?

We do see Maria summon what clearly looks like Byakku. And I am wondering how they are gonna go about Maria's powerset. Because it is another thing were the games do not have a ton of story happening. She summons beasts that are strictly linked to East Asian mythology, even though she is not from East Asia because of... reasons. I certainly hope she is gotta get more of a reason to do so here. (Especially given her entire Ninja-thing in Symphony, that made about as much sense lol Please note: I love game!Maria. It is just kinda a hilarious "Japanese games will do this" thing to me.)

We do not see a ton of Tera using magic in the trailer. Buuuuut in this scene she uses ice magic and definitely uses the same hand sign for it Sypha uses. She also vaguely has the same color scheme (blue and black) as the speakers do. And the same blue eyes like Sypha. Is she related to the speakers somehow? (And given the role that the Romani people also kinda had in terms of the revolution: Will we just stick with the speakers taking over the roles of Sinti and Roma?)

What is going on in this scene?

I mean, we definitely see Richter using magic in the trailer (which still makes a ton of sense to me, given he is gonna be as much of a descendent of Sypha as he is of Trevor). But this... does kinda seem as if he might have something more than just normal magic going on there.

Also: I just adore that half of the trailer Richter is crying. Someone hug this poor boy.

Finally: I sure hope it will keep up the gay levels of the series so far xD

[fanficfish]

hetalia: my hc on nations and personalities

...beyond the stereotypes!

okay okay hear me out okay hc brainrot midnight time im jacked on caffeine and the night is young aight

so lets get this straight: so first off i imagine the nations are like 96% "stereotypes of ttheir nation" (e.g. the more people think or are americans that digest too many burgers, to more likely it is America himself eats attrocious amounts of burgers. The more people say Germans are swrious, the more likely Germany is a serious dude. etc. the normal stuff we all know off.)

but the other 4%? That's the nation's "person" side, seperate from their "nation" side. It varies a little depending on country ofc but that's prob the average.

E.g. hungary and austria "divorced" but they clearly care for each other. They can't be together for literal reasons but the non-nations parts of them wouldn't mind at all.

prussia is knwon aa a great warrior so that's what he is. But his non-nation half has self doubts and the need to keep an eye on his family. Like llease, Prussia how did you know what Austria wears and eats??? I get a feeling this wasn't in the mdidle of WW2, probabky right before if i had to geuss. Austria wouldn't have moved in with Germany and by exention aprussia yet....and he waa following the dude....prussia is an overprotective helicopter parent of an older brother, canon.

France and his distaste for technology. Exhibit A: french music was consistantly the one doing the weird innovative stuff in my music history class when it wasn't Schoenberg. Besides that, i could see France not liking tech as much due to being literally a thousand. Heck, i'm pretty sure half the old nations are a bit iffy about it just because "wdym now i can't just didappear lff the grid without anyone getting cocnerned and i need passports and phones and shit?" Except maybe Denmark, China, and Japan. Those three are 100% ipad kids in old men bodies.

iceland oozes gen z. enough said. The man might be obsessed with finding tourists and his northern lights and his weird museums but the thing where his beothers are throwing plates at his door and he's like "hell noooo"? The one where he's going off to make friends over ding-dong soup with the ASEAN dudes? That's allll Iceland, the person. Far as i could find there os no iceland-malaysia embassy and closest it got was relations with indonesia. (I highly recommend checking out the iceland-diplomatics-relations wiki page. There's a very interesting factoid under the list for Asian countries i think many of you will be interested in.....but per my own doctrine, this is a Hetalia hc post and not a Politica post.)

america and his animals. That goes for estonia too. Americans are no adopting whales and aliens as pets (well maybe the donate-and-save-an-animal program but we aint keep them in the house) and i doubt estonians keep talking mochi they found randomly in a disty corner. I'm fairly certain most Eatonians don't hell "latviaaaaaa!!!!" When things go wrong either.

austria getting lost is just a him thing. That's not normal for austrians, music part is very much influenced by his people. His preference to chopin might be him though since Salzburg is in Austria and that's Mozartland. Also, Chopin is Polish.

I won't even start with the clusterfuck called Russia but Japan daydreaming about Switzerland? Yeah that was Japan's non-nation side getting really weird. Japan understandably was just as confused himswlf considering for the most part he has no prpblems being a "stereotypical japanese dude".

need i mention Italy, who has a huge crush on Germany m/hre despite him literally changing in basically everything (because that's the natire of a nation), and just likes the guy as long as he exists?

I also choose to believe Sweden can grow a beard if he really followed the stereotype (no seriously. Why os the image i get of Sweedish guys just dudes with beards? Someone has a really nice sweden somewhere ln this site where he has a lovely beard and it just makes him look like the embodiment of sweeden, no questions asked). But he doesn't like it, which fair o imagine beards aren't fun when stiff gets stick in them or whatever, so he just shaves or leaves some stubble. Def not cuz Asians and beards is just not really a thing so Hima prob just didn't draw beyond the stubble.

Latvia being a secret brainiac that plays mental chess against himself while doing other stuff, all hidden under an alcoholic who can't get rid of his past. Pretty sure his blabbermouth thie is his own personality. I did see somewhere that there's a steretype that Latvians have six toes and i kinda wanna just believe Latvia got that one too cuz why not!

theres others im sure but yeah. Those are the knes i came up with and im gonna sleep now bye lmk what you think

[marshmellopie]

YOU THERE

Give me your spamton headcanons! Any kind!

loki i love you so much you don't know how much i've been wanting to share my headcanons oh my GOD [scans over my 20+ page headcanon doc]

putting it under the cut because it's a lot of random stuff, i didn't categorize anything so there might be whiplash between everything:

– Five feet tall, previously 5'10 when he was still an Addison. I made Puppet Spam was 4'5 for the longest time, but I decided to say fuck it and make him taller. Still short in terms of Cyber City residents though, I like to imagine normal Addisons are around 6ft.

– I sometimes forget to draw it and I can't really animate it consistently, but his knuckles are constantly bruised because he keeps punching things whenever he's angry. Experiences really severe temper tantrums/outbursts and usually resorts to violence.

– Do not touch his fucking hair if he doesn’t know you. He’ll legitimately plan your murder if you cut any of it off– and that’s not a hyperbole. He can’t grow it back and his hair is his pride and joy, so he will genuinely track you down and rip your goddamn soul out of your chest. It's also permanently black (besides the grey but that's from stress), he changed his coding when he was famous to have black hair. Could've been reversible, but some things kinda stuck after he fucked himself up and became a doll.

– Weird mixture of Addison and mannequin. Mysteriously fell incredibly ill with a virus that was destroying his coding after his phone went dead silent, and became desperate to the point of converting his remaining data into an inanimate object. Kind of like converting a PDF into a JPEG with the compressed quality and all. Kinda iffy with this one and not really canon-inspired, I swap between him gradually and suddenly turning into a puppet. Used to base it off the Acid Theory but I'm tryna be creative sjfkdsjf he did probably fall in/get pushed a few times but it didn't burn him to the point of no return, it definitely stung though

– Blurry vision in both eyes because he had the audacity to peek into the Shadow Crystal multiple times. Hacked his glasses to somewhat correct it, but it only works to a certain extent.

– Talks through a voice box. He really doesn't need to move his mouth at all to speak and has limited range of motion (he can't close his mouth all the way and has no tongue), but he tries to purely out of habit.

– gayest man in cyber city

– Eats basically anything. From spaghetti-code to cardboard, his body is kind of forced to digest all of it, but it obviously hurts him if it's not supposed to be eaten.

– Sometimes doesn't recognize his own reflection.

– Riddled with viruses for so long that he probably wouldn't ever be able to get rid of them. He could probably minimize them if he got treatment, but only to an extent. They're a permanent part of him now.

– His nose is simultaneously the strongest and weakest part of his body. Either pierces through metal or bends like a bendy straw depending on if you throw him or just lightly poke it.

– Terrifyingly amazing aim. Can throw a pipis at a specific target without much thought. His pipis explode.

– Calmed down a bit as the years went on (because he lost hope LMAO), which isn't saying much considering he's still extremely rabid. Was extremely volatile when he first decided to give up the good life and live in the dumpster. Frequently tried to break into the mansion, probably stole a few cars, mugged a few Plugboys, picked fights with other malware on the streets. He still continues to do these things, of course, but to a lesser degree.

– Spiteful cunt. Wrong him once and he'll never forget your name. Rarely apologizes even if he's in the wrong.

– Can't say names properly unless he's being completely serious.

– Upholds his end of most deals, but words himself carefully so that if what he has to bring to the table isn't up to par with what the other person asked of him (which is 99% of the time), he can easily swindle his way out of it. No refunds on the sword. It's broken? I told you that. Cut anything, two pieces. You heard me clearly, and you obviously had no qualms with it from what I could tell. (Except he'd say that in a really fucked up and more condescending way.)

– Constantly hears static, but it grows and fades depending on his mood.

– Laughs at the most inconvenient times. Someone's threatening him? He'll chuckle. He's nervous? A little giggle. He just received some devastating news? Roaring laughter.

– Very unreliable narrator and storyteller. Tends to exaggerate things that have happened to him (doesn't mean that he didn't go through some wild shit though).

– Doesn't celebrate his birthday, for obvious loneliness and conflicting self-resentment reasons. Also because he doesn't keep track of the time. He don't know what day it is fam.

– Can mimic voices really well, though he still retains that bitcrushed/noisy overlay and the ad pop-ups.

– Tends to chew on things occasionally as a nervous habit. He doesn't exactly have a tongue, so he instead picks up random small items scattered around (ie. a pencil) and chews on them. Worst case scenario he just grinds his teeth together.

– Gestures with his hands a lot when he speaks. It literally looks like he's going through an emote hotbar. Also very expressive when it comes to his face, despite rarely being able to frown properly. You can garner a lot about his mood from his glasses.

– Mostly bark over bite. Tends to make empty threats a lot when he's startled in hopes his loudness will be intimidating, but will indeed bite if he needs to… or wants to. Sometimes there’s no bark at all, and he’ll literally bite.

– Has a weird fascination with shiny objects. He steals many things that seem valuable or visually appealing and hoards them in his shop.

– Once you put the KEYGEN into NEO, it takes a little bit for him to actually take over the body because he's transferring his data onto it. Permanently. Even when he becomes small Spamton again, he's permanently linked to the machine now, so he can change into it at will. Technically not at will because he has trouble controlling it, but you get what I mean.

this was insanely long but thank you for letting me ramble <3

[thelonelyshore-if]

Is coy flirtation the only way to raise romance with the ROs or are we able to do so by raising their approval in general? Mainly asking because my current MC is a very pragmatic woman who wouldn't be the one immediately engaging in flirting because 1. She feels like she's going a bit crazy atm since she doesn't believe in supernatural stuff and is trying to deny everything 2. She's still absolutely confused as to where willow is.

So far I've been avoiding flirting options in favor of her being polite to strangers but slightly detached. Very tired.

I know sometimes people add in oblivious routes or ones where the mc is the more withdrawn one in the romance so I figured I'd ask. If there's not that's fine I just wanted to know my options! Thanks for your hard work.

Currently, the most direct way to raise romance is to flirt or to pick options that indicate interest. Though, to be honest, there aren't many of those at the moment!

Once chapter 2 rolls around there will be more opportunities for romance (especially considering that the MC is currently kind of Going Through It and also just met everyone), and those opportunities will be more varied.

Also, I think I'll use this ask as a bit of an opportunity to go into my plans for the romance system, because it's something I'm super excited to get into. Apologies in advance for the amount I'm about to write.

Explanation of planned systems beneath the cut <3

Currently I'm planning on using a system with three different parts.

The first part is interest, which is a base indicator that the MC is interested in a RO (or multiple ROs) romantically/sexually. These will be options that straight up say things like 'I think (RO) is cute'. Once interest is toggled on, the RO(s) are able to develop a crush and/or pursue the MC of their own accord. Interest being on will also activate certain flavor text.

The second part is flirting, which directly raises the romance variable. These are things like flirtatious dialogue, grabbing a RO's hand, acting flustered around them--that sort of thing. Actions that are observable by the other character(s). Flirting doesn't automatically turn on interest, but since it raises the romance stat it means that you can flirt with a character/choose romantic options throughout the game and, once interest is on, you can have built a bond.

I plan to have different flavors of flirting. At this point I think I'll mostly stick with the typical shy/direct options, though we'll see. I might get a little silly with it.

Finally, there's approval, which is your character's general relationship stat with each RO (as well as Willow and a few other npcs). Approval can be gained whenever the MC does something the character likes or generally builds the relationship. Tbh I'm a little iffy on sticking with 'approval' as the term, because I don't want to write characters who only like the MC if they agree with everything they do, but it's the only word coming to mind atm lol.

All this to say, I hope that with this system you can have characters like your MC, who are maybe a little more oblivious or withdrawn, who can mark interest in a RO and have the RO be more forward (raising the romance bar that way). Plus having more subtle 'flirt' options that also raise romance without being super direct flirting.

I'm so sorry to have taken your ask and run with it, but I hope this explains the vibes I'm going for a bit!! The system still needs to be actually implemented, so take it with the usual caveat that this is a WIP and these are just my current plans, but it's ideally what I'd like to do!

[zan77]

apparently I've been on and off the hellsite for 15 years?!

I might actually be having feelings about that.

Lord knows this place isn't perfect, and it remains at the whim of whoever's currently holding the pursestrings, but tumblr remains the only social media site I can spend time on without quickly feeling like I'm about to have a panic attack. (it's a combination of the busyness of their interfaces + content + menopause transition, which has decided instead of moodswings I just get overwheening anxiety ready to spiral at the drop of a hat).

I used to joke about being fandom old but let me be really blunt here: I will be 48 this year. Don't ever let them tell you you're too old for fandom. I'll bet you anything I'm a long way from the oldest user on here. For most of my fandom life I was/am a lurker; a full-time job, an offline hobby that takes up a lot of my time and, well, age-related stuff like family bereavement and my own health take up a lot of my mental bandwidth.

But a decade or so into my tumblr existence I watched the Terror in lockdown and was so discombobulated that I wrote a fic and now i have four - FOUR! - fics on AO3 and plans to write more (always plans, eh) and I cannot thank Terror fandom enough for being so welcoming and wonderful, I am trying to be more active in fandom in general but it's a stop-start thing.

Over these 15 years I've posted and reblogged stuff that 2025 me would look at and say eeshk, mate. That's part of growing older and learning. I don't take those posts out of my archive (unless someone specifically asks me to), because to remove those posts from my tumblr history seems to me a 1984-ish rewriting of history, a pretending that I always knew *insert celebrity man who turned out to be an utter shitheel here* was iffy, which I didn't. Alas.

(and good lord, there's so much Glee on there in the early years. Shout out to my fellow Glee survivors. I met my two closest fandom friends through Glee. They live on a different contintent but we Zoom every week and I'm going to visit them this year and meet the four cats and a rabbit I am a long-distance auntie to <3)

Anyway, I firmly believe that tumblr has helped me stay just a little bit weirder than society wants me to and that will always be a good thing (now more than ever). Thanks to this inimitable place, I have a list of blorbos that range from the first man killed at the Charge of the Light Brigade to a bloke who's playing his new single on Jimmy Fallon next Tuesday.

(I'm not old enough to be Joe Keery's mother. His eccentric wine aunt, maybe?)

Being on here, on it's best days, brings me joy. And always remember: JOY IS AN ACT OF RESISTANCE.

I wish 15 years more of that, for all of us.

[salemcantupdate]

I’m sitting here, thinking about possible ships in Stardew Valley that don’t involve the farmer. I’ve seen quite a few. Of course there’s the canon stuff, aka the married couples and Marnie with Lewis. It’s also canon that Alex says he’s jealous if you get with Haley. Ignoring Clint and Emily because I’m sorry but that’s literally “nice guy creepy incel” getting the girl.

But! I don’t like most of the married couples AND I don’t like Marnie with Lewis. So I’m gonna go on a little exploration here.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot of Caroline and the Wizard. First of all I absolutely think that Abigail is the Wizard’s kid, but I also don’t think those two actually… like each other? I think it was more of a fling than anything. But low key? Part of me thinks the Wizard and Lewis could be kinda fun, I’ve also seen art of the Razzy with Marlon. Which would be fun! But I do think it’s really cute when Marlon says that Marnie is really pretty. It’s just precious to me.

But BUT, crazy thought

Willy and Razzy mic Dazzle???? HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT

Willy is a traveler! He fishes all over the place!!! He’s gotta have experience with sea monsters and weird magics, and imagine the Wizard requests some specific sea based spells or works with him to help find merpeople OR ensures the seas and skies are calm so that he can sail safely. DO YOU SEE MY VISION???

Cough, so— I’m thinking Willy with Razzmocious and Marnie breaking up with Lewis and Marlon slowly winning her over himself. Caroline though? Honestly don’t think she’s the happiest with Pierre, he’s pretty shit. Low key I like her with Jodi haha. Like Kent isn’t bad, not at all, I just don’t think Jodi loves him. But Caroline and Jodi feel a bit too obvious, so… hear me out… Caroline and Gunther. She regularly visits the library so— gah yeah that’s stupid. Caroline deserves someone who will just cuddle with her and Jodi needs someone who makes her feel alive again. They’ve got different needs. Kent also needs a lot of love and therapy, which I don’t think Jodi can provide. Ok, I’m gonna move on to an easier one I’m dying here.

Sam and Sebastian are so obvious, going insane here. 100% ship them. I’ve seen some people throw Abigail into the mix, but personally I’m not the biggest fan of that. Honestly? I’m kinda into Abigail and Haley—

OK LISTEENNNNN, listen. Abigail’s 14 heart scene… imagine if Haley was there instead of the farmer. It just fits so perfectly. Pretty girlfriend loving buff girlfriend. I THINK ITS CUTE OK LEAVE ME ALONE SOB SOB SOB

Speaking of the girls, I like Maru and Penny together a lot. I just see them around town together all the time and I think it’s super cute haha. Ah shoot, that reminds me of Robin. I do not like Demetrius, personally. Though I suppose there marriage seems to work. I wouldn’t break them apart.

Ok, now on to my hotter tea. Harvey and Shane. Harvey is just so sweet and so loving and so nice and caring and Shane has no experience with that and Harvey gets Shane access to a therapist dhkfhwkd— I think it’s cute. I think it would be really cute if they started hanging out and Shane realized how poorly Harvey ate and started scolding him like “You’re always scolding me but you eat like this?” And just keeps going as he cooks them both a meal and gruffly sets it out for Harvey and—

Sobbing

Ok my other somewhat hot take, Elliott and Alex. The reasoning here might be iffy, but I like the idea of Alex getting with a guy who broadens his range of what masculinity means. I think it would also be cute if Alex slowly gained a love for reading through Elliott. Plus I think Alex could be a magnificent muse given his past. It could be cute.

Oh and my final take is Morris and Pierre should hatefuck

…

ANYWAYS

But yeah, I don’t necessarily ship all these. Like, actively and actually ship them. I might one day, but right now I’m just sitting in my thought stew.

[fistacaffs]

!! LONG RANT ABT EEVEELUTION SQUAD !!

Came back to this comic after years of forgetting abt it and I have a lot on my mind after finishing it so long rant ahead LOL

It genuinely had something good during the first part of the comic (might be the nostalgia talking) but after the unnecessary plot points like with Cc and Solarflare's virus it felt so overwhelming especially the pages during Solarflare's dream stuff it was so full of dialogue only one panel had any illustrations at some point. I feel bad for complaining about this because I know EV was probably stressed out of their mind when making the comic and I understand it was from the pressure of the fandom but I just need to say more stuff regarding it (I don't blame EV for the writing, what's done is done and it was definitely some of the fans influence which made it rused)

The story was better of as a slice of life with a bit of action instead of having so much lore and plot that didn't make sense. The first few main chapters were good for it's time (even though some parts were iffy ex. Gai being a genuine creep) but after chapter 5 it started to go downhill. The Cc plot point was so unnecessary it felt she isekaied out of a fanfic and tried to Frankenstein her way into the story. I liked the idea of her character in a way but I feel like it would have been a whole lot better for her to have her own story instead of being forced into the ES plot. She seems more of a fanfic protagonist than a side character. For the Solarflare virus thing, it was also pretty weird, I wouldn't say unnecessary but it felt so out of place. With the vacation plot happening, the ship shenanigans between Speed, Lazuli, and Silvia, and the Cc plot, it just genuinely felt so tiring to read when it came to that part. The comic panels were filled so much unnecessary lore and plot to the point you can only see text bubbles, I wish it could have been saved for another time to develop Flare's character but instead it was plopped into an already complicated plot. I loved Fluffy but I feel like they were introduced far too early into the plot.

I wish they had the time to develop more of the characters, especially Leafy, I think the only reason why she's one of the more well liked characters from the comic is because she felt like a breath of fresh air from the other characters (ex. lore-heavy-Speed and angsty-Black, etc.), I wish we got to see more of her like the time she was sad because of her father or when she took the blame off from her friends, it made her feel like a character you could relate with. (But I'm glad we got what we got because I feel like she would have been badly written otherwise)

It might seem like I'm angry but I genuinely love this comic (even though it's badly paced and written lol) it's very sentimental to me, it was a great creative outlet for me to cling on to during my younger years and I'm very thankful for that 💞

[multiplicity-positivity]

hi uh i could use some advice :<

im a host of a recent system of 20-ish and guh i am t i r e d

im mainly looking for advice on how to switch or just retreat into the headspace/leave front or even just kinda stop being fully aware while still being in front for awhile bc id rlly like to take a break and the realization that im most likely front attracted/frontstuck is kinda making me more tired of being in front

also if it helps at all my(&) system is parogenic + traumagenic in origin (specifically parotraumagenic) and theres kinda iffy communication between members (some of them i have clear communication with and they randomly pop up to say stuff, some i have no idea where they are and some of them i can usually only hear when im directly interacting with them).

afaik (as far as i know) only three?? ppl have rlly "fronted" per se, and the rest have been co-con

i apologize for the long and mildly depressing ask but any help is appreciated also dont forget to hydrate

Hello! We have some posts that might help you that we’d like to share if that’s okay. The first is a post we wrote a while back with some tips on switching from our own experience:

We’d also like to share this post by @rin-and-jade on being frontstuck or frontlocked, and how to go about unsticking yourself!

Our own system host (Parker) is almost always fronting to some extent. It can certainly be exhausting and disheartening fronting nonstop, especially when other members of your system can seemingly come and go as they please. He’s going to put some info under a cut for how he copes with fronting constantly, in case you want some advice on coping with being genuinely unable to switch out!

We hope something here will be helpful for you! We’re wishing you the best of luck with switching out or at least learning how best to cope with fronting in your future!

(Host here - I’ll just write this bit if thats okay. Anyway here’s some stuff I do to deal with The Horrors of perpetual existence)

Meditation

Taking a few moments to sit in comfortable silence can be useful for me when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed or straight up exhausted. Here’s how I meditate (I’m no expert and I’m sure there’s better ways to do this… this is just what I do)

- get in a comfortable position in a quiet place where I’m not likely to be disturbed

- set a timer on my phone for 5 minutes

- close my eyes, focus on my breathing

- don’t dwell on any thoughts but also don’t push them away; acknowledge them and let them go

- try to stay still and calm until my timer goes off

And that’s it. Sometimes I get interrupted by an alter or something outside, but for the most part, this is how I’ve been able to meditate effectively.

Rest

I take naps whenever I can. I sit down whenever I can. I’ll literally just close my eyes for a few minutes whenever I can. Our body has issues with chronic fatigue, and fronting constantly can sometimes exacerbate our exhaustion. So yeah I am a huge fan of naps and will often set a timer for like 15-20 minutes and snooze whenever the opportunity arises. Even just lying down with closed eyes can help replenish some energy.

Distractions

Reading, watching something on TV, or playing video games can help give me somewhat of a break even if I’m still fronting. I do tend to try and keep us distracted as much as possible… sometimes to our own detriment. But if you find that you really aren’t ever able to switch out, or if your system is specutien and that’s just the way your system functions, finding things you enjoy that can serve as distractions may help you as well.

Saying No

This one’s tough, but I’m trying to learn to say no when I’m overwhelmed or have too much on my plate. This means sometimes I’ll cancel plans, hand off a responsibility, make a compromise, or turn down an opportunity if I don’t have the energy for it.

Honestly idk how much my addition can help you, but if you find that you’re not ever able to switch out at all please know there’s other folks out there in similar positions. Hoping you can make the most of your situation, anon /genuine