#so the first part might be a bit iffy and stuff

[bbsmuts]

Career Advice ft. Miss A Suzy & AOA Seolhyun

A/N: I have a few notes before I start this one, first and foremost being that I got plenty of DMs after Special Fanmeet telling me the shock play was well done and it was a good addition to the smut, so I'll be incorporating some of that into more smuts in the future. My readers (as well as myself) have made it clear that they're into dom/sub dynamics, ownership kinks, and all that kind of stuff, so I'll be incorporating that a bit more. You're welcome, ya kinky bastards.

Is this very, very late? Yes. Is it very much overdue? Indeed it is. But will it be very good due to how much time I've had it a a draft? Probably also yes. Maybe. I don't have time to proofread things, so I never know.

This is a pitch from @phoenixwolf (who's been quite patient and a pleasure to work with), which is a pretty unique idea I've never seen before. It'll be quite a bit different from all my others, since the main character isn't in any kind of relationship with the idols. I'm doing a bit (well, in some parts a lot) of modification with how being an idol works and the perks that come with it, since to be quite honest I don't really know how it works and I need to make it fit the story better. So take note of that throughout the story whenever I mention something that probably isn't a thing irl. I have to use Y/N with this one because there's no way I can write it without using a name for the main character, which I don't do.

But after very much procrastination and too much time spent as a draft, it's here. I'm not at all used to writing a more tentative, maybe sub-ish character, so Seolhyun's noona kink solo might be iffy. And also just pretend that Suzy and Seolhyun are in the same group/under the same agency (Kakao) for the purposes of the smut. Also my first time writing a daddy kink. It's probably just about the same as a sir kink.

Point is, this one might be iffy.

-상훈

Length: 5.81k

Possible TW: Just about nothing, just a noona kink for Seolhyun and a daddy kink for Suzy. And of course my trademark, a sprinkle of light spanking/choking.

Tags: Threesome, cunnilingus, blowjob, dom/sub, daddy kink, noona kink, choking, spanking, fingering, face riding

It was just another one of those days; sitting, waiting outside a businesswoman's office waiting to be talked to. The small plaque on the dark mahogany door read "Kim Seolhyun, Ace of Angels". The plush chair I sat on had to be the best office guest chair I'd ever sat on, predictably enough considering where I was.

Explanation time.

My name is Y/N, and I'm a week away from debuting as the next global K-pop superstar. Or at least, that's what everyone around me is saying. I'm 19, and very new to the bustling, jolting, lively atmosphere of the agency's headquarters. I'm not even completely sure of everything that's going on. I auditioned for Kakao Entertainment when I was 15 and almost immediately got a callback from them. I performed two more auditions beyond the initial one and was accepted as a trainee with high praise from judges. I signed my trainee contract and trained for 4 years, during which they touched up on my singing, rapping, dance skills, physique, modeling sagacity, and overall competence as a future idol, all of which they had described to already be near perfect. From the day I arrived on Kakao's doorstep, I had been told I was going to be the next global K-pop sensation. And now I'm a week away from debuting as a massive solo artist.

To say I'm nervous is a little bit of an understatement.

The reason why I'm here is to talk with former and current idols to orient me into what it's going to be like. I've already had conversations with a few notable ones, and now I'm outside Seolhyun's office. I've also been told Bae Suzy is here to see me, which is something I'm excited for. Suzy has been one of my favorite idols since I was really young. ___

"Mr. L/N?" Seolhyun's secretary spoke in a soft voice. "She's ready for you."

I stood up, and with a deep breath and a small adjustment of my tie, pushed open the door.

To my slight surprise, Suzy was already in the room, sitting with Seolhyun behind the desk.

Suzy gestured me in, and I took a seat in front of the desk. It was very well-organized and neat.

"Hi, Y/N." said Seolhyun. "I'm Kim Seolhyun, and this is–"

"I know who you are." I said.

She smiled warmly. "Then introductions aren't necessary, are they?"

I chuckled. "No, they aren't. I requested to meet you specifically."

Suzy smirked. "That's refreshing. Well, it's very nice to meet you, Y/N."

Seolhyun nodded.

"It's a pleasure." I replied, shaking both of their hands.

"No, the pleasure is ours." said Suzy. "It's not often we get to meet the next K-pop superstar pre-debut, is it? Especially when he's so hot~"

Seolhyun hit Suzy on the arm lightly. "Stop, isn't it too soon for that?"

"It's never too soon."

I smiled at the compliment. "Thank you, Suzy. Can I call you Suzy?"

"Yes, of course."

"So," I said, preparing to ask the list of questions I had prepared in my head. "What's the lifestyle like, being an idol?"

...

"–so basically, to sum up that point, don't fall out of line. Not publicly." Seolhyun finished.

"Unless, of course, you feel a little bit more daring, like me." Suzy threw a wink my way. "Media goes crazy for a bit of controversy."

Seolhyun rolled her eyes. "It's a daring move, but your publicity will skyrocket over a scandal. Suzy would know all about that."

Suzy grinned. "Nothing like watching your fans start World War III on social media because you didn't wear safety shorts."

Seolhyun chuckled. "Some, like Suzy, like to rock the boat a little. And it's good for publicity; the media likes a daring figure."

"So you're telling me I should cross the line a bit from time to time?" I asked.

"Yes." Suzy replied immediately.

"Not necessarily," corrected Seolhyun, side-eyeing Suzy, "it depends on what kind of idol you are to the public. But a tiny scandal here and there does keep you in the headlines, whether that be a good thing or a bad thing."

"Ok," I said slowly, "that makes sense. Other than that, what can I do to start off with a bang?"

"You?" Seolhyun said. "You might not even need any of that. I mean, they said they could have debuted you without training. They said they were considering cutting your training short and debuting you early."

"Of course, that's when funds had dipped a lot," Suzy added, "but that's not important. What's important is that they were seriously considering doing it, which never happens."

"So that either means you're already going down Suzy's route, or you're one hell of a potential." said Seolhyun.

"It's the latter."

"Yeah, I figured. All the talk around here has been about you since you started training. All the higher-ups and execs have been super excited because you'll be bringing in a lot of revenue."

"Which automatically makes you a high priority, especially once you actually start making them money." Suzy carried on. "Low-profit artists and groups are lower priority. You? You'll be pretty much as high priority as it gets, which means you can exploit it. Use it to your advantage."

"However you want to use it, bear in mind the fact that they are relying on you for profit. Of course, if you get too cocky, there's always consequences, but as long as you keep in mind the firm boundaries, you're all good."

"Okay," I said, "so I can push my luck a little, just don't overdo it."

"Exactly." Suzy replied. "You're a fast learner. And I'd advise you to wait to exercise that prioritization for a little while until they've gotten a good idea of what kind of idol you're going to be, what kind of profits you'll make them. If you do it too early, they might think early on that you're going to give them a hard time."

"And if that happens?"

"Don't know. Contract termination at the very most, but I doubt they'd do that. But they can make your life hell if they want to."

"Okay, got it. What else?"

"Well..." The two of them thought about it, and then Seolhyun spoke up. "You could try Suzy's approach..."

"Which is?" I prompted.

"Sucking a lot of music producer dick." Suzy laughed.

Her reply took me be surprise, but I barely reacted. "Yeah, I'm afraid I won't be sucking any dick on my way up."

Suzy chortled. "I don't mean that, dummy. But there happen to be a lot of female employees, execs, bosses, producers...I'm not saying do what I did, but all I'll say is...it'll get you in the good books."

"And considering what you have to offer..." Seolhyun added, unconsciously licking her lips as her eyes trailed down me.

Despite myself, I felt my cheeks go a bit red. "Thanks, noona."

She blushed a little and giggled.

Suzy rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Don't get her started, Y/N."

"What?"

"Seolhyun has a thing for being called that. Like, a big thing."

"Oh." I said simply. "Sorry."

"Don't be." She smirked. "In fact, that brings us to our next point, in a roundabout way."

"What's your next point?"

"If, as I advise you, you walk my path, play to your higher-up's kinks. Obviously they'll like it anyway it and therefore you'll be in the good books, but if you play to their kinks, it's like an automatic figurative promotion. I remember one time when I was dealing with this one exec who had a mommy kink–"

"Yeah, yeah, we don't need to hear that one." Seolhyun interrupted. "Don't put him off before he even debuts."

"I'm not into that mommy shit, but I can play along to just about anything." The implications of my sentence were not missed by the two of them.

"Oh, can you?" Seolhyun's voice was suddenly lower, quieter. The two exchanged a knowing look, one that spoke more than a book full of words. "What do you think, unnie?"

Suzy nodded at her and looked back at me.

"We'd like to offer you a special...orientation program." Her voice took on the same tone.

"Oh?" My thoughts ran wilder. "And what would such a program entail?"

"Oh, you know..." Seolhyun trailed off as they both rose from their chairs. "Suzy's route."

"Yeah, we'll be sure to tell the execs how good you are...if you're good." They approached.

My pants were feeling uncomfortably tight at that moment, and it did not go unnoticed by them.

"Ooh, he's liking that idea." The two of them moved closer, their thighs rubbing against mine, hands caressing my arms. I was suddenly very aware of Suzy's tiny skirt, Seolhyun's short shorts. "Let's see what we're working with here."

Shrugging out of my blazer as Suzy pulled on it from behind me, I rid myself of the extra layer and loosened my tie. Suzy's hands unbuttoned the buttons on my shirt one by one all the way down and pulled the bottom of it out of my waistband, leaving it on me.

"Oh~" Seolhyun's eyes widened. "He's quite the specimen, unnie."

I flexed my abs and arms for her benefit, and she bit her lip with lust in her eyes. "Can't wait to give this one a test ride, mmm..."

Suzy unbuckled my belt from behind me and slipped it out of its hoops, allowing Seolhyun to slide my pants down my legs and off my Oxford-clad feet.

"Looks like Y/N has a big thing too, unnie...damn."

Suzy came back around to have a look, and she smirked, nodding in approval.

"Nice, now that's a body that's had a hell of a lot of work put into it. And a massive cock, too..."

My face was going red again. "Thank you."

Seolhyun straddled me, sitting comfortably on the straining bulge of my boxers, barely concealing the gasp that left her lips when it rubbed her through her shorts. "Ah, enough niceties, let's get to your orientation."

"One at a time or same time?" asked Suzy.

"One at a time, then both, I wanna see what this kid can do first."

Suzy opened the door and disappeared, leaving me and Seolhyun alone.

Her voice dropped to a growl as she leaned into my ear, slowly rocking her hips on me, pulling my face closer to hers by the tie. "You said you can play along, hm?"

"Uh, yeah, I did."

She pulled back a little, her expression half eagerness and half interest. "Then make sure you do."

With a flourish she stripped off her small top, a sexy lace bra the only thing between me and her full breasts.

"Mm, you like what you see baby?"

"Yes..." I couldn't take my eyes off her.

"Hmm?" She raised her eyebrows, the grinding coming to a sudden halt.

"Y-yes, noona."

She smiled and resumed her grinding. "Good."

Something in her tone turned me on, more than the pleasure of her grating her hips on me. Usually I had a slight leaning towards being a dom, but something about her dominant aura pushed me towards the other end of the spectrum.

She got off me and slipped her shorts down her legs, straightening up to reveal her tiny little thong, which left absolutely nothing to the imagination. I caught my breath, cock now furiously straining against the thin fabric of my boxers. She slid back onto me, two millimeters of cloth the only thing keeping her heat off me.

"Can I touch you, noona?"

She moaned quietly at the sensation she was causing herself, and nodded. Her eyes closed and she bit her lip as I reached up and caressed her breasts over the thin lace fabric, pinching her nipples. I slipped a finger under her thong and rubbed her clit.

"Ooh, yes, just like that," she cooed. "You sure know what you're doing, had practice?"

"Yes, noona." I fingered her harder and took my hand off her breast and moved it to her ass, squeezing a moan out of her. She reached up and fondled her own breasts, and she allowed me to reach behind her and unclasp the bra, unleashing her treasures.

I took off my own shirt as she leaned her face down and kissed me, the gyrations starting to get more needy.

"F-fuck, I want you, Y/N." Her breath came out shaky as she found the perfect spot to grind on and jumped on it, increasing the speed of her movements.

I pushed my boxers down past my thighs and finally freed myself, and she gasped. "Oh my god, you're so big..."

She quickly rid herself of her thong and returned to my lap, lining me up with her entrance and slowly sinking down, suppressing a whimper as she felt herself being filled up. I stretched her out inch by inch until her crotch met my base. Her head fell back and she took a second to adjust, before she started to bounce on top of me. My cock was driven in and out of her tight tunnel, and it was overwhelming. She must not've had anyone in a while because she was certainly the tightest I'd ever had. She clenched around me on purpose on the way down, forcing a groan out of my mouth.

"Does it feel good sweetie?"

I didn't answer immediately, mind lost in the sensations she was causing me. Her thin hand slipped around my neck, not gripping but making her assertion clear.

"Does it feel good?" Her voice dropped a little lower.

"Yes, noona."

Her smile returned. "Good."

I pressed a finger to her clit, and moved it up and down in time with her bouncing. She kept kneading her own tits, moaning and squealing adorably.

"Fuck, noona, you're tight!" The pleasure was too good, she was going to make me cum. "So tight!"

"I know, hold on baby." She purred. "Don't cum yet."

Doing so was difficult, but I managed to stave off the impending orgasm and let her keep spearing her pussy on me. I brought my hand down on her ass, making her yelp, and she bounced harder, raising her eyebrows.

"Now now, let's – ahh – control ourselves, hmm?"

"Yes, s-sorry noona."

Seolhyun suppressed another cry and gripped my shoulders, humping into me with barely controlled lust.

"Such a nice dick, big and hard for me, yeah?"

I only moaned in reply, meeting her bounces with thrusts, jabbing deeper into her. She clenched around me harder in an involuntary response, failing to muffle her yells on each thrust.

"Noona," I groaned, "what about the–fuck–secretary? Won't she-"

"No, she won't."

I inwardly shrugged and thrusted harder, teetering dangerously on the verge of cumming inside her.

"Fuck, I can't hold on," I gripped her hips and pulled her down, jabbing into her. "Should I pull out?"

"No," she murmured, her eyebrows contracting. "Cum inside me!"

Unable to stave it off any longer, I felt that rush of pleasure, the tensing of my entire body. Her eyes flew open and she gasped at the first spurt. She rode it out until she'd taken every last drop from me, and then relaxed her body. Our heavy breaths eventually slowed, and she got off me and quickly got dressed.

"Fuck, you're good. You'll have no trouble in that area, no trouble at all. Rest up, Suzy will want her turn. And get at least partially dressed, she'll want to strip you too." She paused for a moment. "She's the exact opposite of me in the bedroom. She likes to be dominated."

I smirked widely. "Oh, I don't think I'll have any trouble with that."

She returned the smirk. "Neither do I. Well, have fun..."

I heard the sound of a door opening and shutting behind me, and two female voices outside for a few seconds. I pulled on my pants, got out of the chair, and leaned against it, facing the door. The door opened and Suzy sidled in, hands clasped in front of her. She bit her lip when she caught sight of me, and I got off the desk.

I let her take her time approaching, her hips subtly swaying with each step. She reached me and slid a hand over my bare chest, a small and shy smile on her face. Her demeanor had completely changed, something I was more than willing to take advantage of.

I snaked my hand up her chest and fastened it around her neck. She gasped and bit her lip again, leaning into me. I turned her around and pushed her against the desk, my other hand slithering to her skirt and pulling it up. She moaned as I slipped my hand into her black panties and slowly rubbed her slit.

"Mmm," she whimpered, "ohh yes, that's good..."

"Yeah, you like that baby?"

"Mmhmm," she replied in a high pitched tone, nodding eagerly with her eyes closed. I tightened my grip on her neck, and she inhaled sharply.

"What was that?"

"Yes, daddy..."

"Good girl." I growled in her ear, fingering her harder, and her breathing got faster and heavier.

"Daddy it feels so good," she moaned, then cried out at me circling her clit with my thumb. "Oh please daddy, harder!"

I slipped two fingers into her pussy and moved them around slowly, curling them down into her g-spot. She clutched my arm and took in a deep, shaky breath, mouth falling open.

"Fuck! I'm gonna cum!"

"Do it," I muttered, busy at work on her pussy. "Cum for me."

"Ohh fuck, faster, please!" I obliged, moving faster and strumming her spots like the strings of a guitar. Her body trembled and her walls clenched around me, almost crushing my fingers. I slipped a third inside her and pushed, now knuckle deep. But I wasn't about to let her cum so quick, I had much more to do to her.

Suzy's eyes had rolled back by the time I pulled my fingers out, and she'd fallen silent in nearly orgasmic bliss. She looked down at my drenched and motionless fingers and immediately put on adorable puppy eyes.

"Please let me cum, daddy," she begged submissively. "Please, I need to cum..."

"Oh, you need to?"

"Yes, daddy, I do..."

I turned her around and bent her over the desk, then resumed my fingering at a much slower pace. She bucked her hips back into my outstretched fingers, whining needily.

"Faster, please!" She pleaded. "I need to cum, please daddy, let me cum, harder, please..."

I slapped her ass and she yelped, clenching around me again. "Be quiet."

"Yes, daddy."

I did pick up the pace a little, and employed my thumb to rub her clit, continuing the spanks since I noticed she enjoyed it. I was feeling an increasing desire to take my pants off and pound her senseless, but I wanted to make her cum with just my fingers first. And I was very, very close to doing so, judging by her facial and vocal expressions.

"So–good–yes–please–cumming!" Her pleas had spiraled into unintelligible babble as she got closer to her climax. "Harder–fuck–gonna cum!"

My shoulder was beginning to feel sore from the exertion I was putting it through, but I ignored it and kept pumping into her, paying special attention to her more sensitive areas and driving her insane with pleasure. Every stroke brought her closer to her release, and finally it was too much for her.

"OH F-FUCK!" Body trembling and writhing, Suzy orgasmed with a loud cry, her juices gushing out over my fingers. Her pussy tensed and spasmed uncontrollably on them.

Noticing her legs wobbling dangerously, I held her up and helped her into the chair. Her face was flushed red and stray strands of hair were sticking to her sweat-sheened forehead.

"D-daddy..." she whimpered, giving me the puppy eyes again, "I want you..."

I rid myself of my pants and boxers and approached her, seeing arousal flare in her eyes at the sight of me.

"Give me your dick, daddy." She sat up and reached forward, grasping my now-hard cock.

I reached down and pulled her hands off. "Hands to yourself, baby girl. Get on your knees."

"Yes, daddy."

She knelt in front of me, and I grabbed her head by her hair and pulled it forward, guiding my cock into her mouth.

"Mmph!" She raised her hands to my thighs and gave them a small nip as my shaft slid down her tight, squeezing throat.

She gagged a bit and struggled, but didn't tap out, instead massaging the underside of my cock with her tongue.

"Mm, such a good girl," I said, twirling her hair around my fingers and pulling her deeper. "Such a good little slut for me."

One of her hands left my leg and I heard an obscene squelch, combined with a moan into my dick. She was getting turned on by the little bit of dirty talk already.

"A stupid little whore, aren't you?" I continued, flinging out whatever dirty names I could fish up from memory of past sub girls. "Just a dirty slut."

She nodded and moaned again, her arm working more furiously beneath her skirt. I gritted my teeth and let my head tip back.

"Fuck, that feels good," I felt her self-pleased smile against my base. "Keep going, baby girl."

She choked and a little saliva ran down her chin, closely followed by a tear from her effort. She took the other hand off my leg and started caressing her own breast, eyes rolling in her head at the pleasure she was giving herself.

Her lower face was slowly becoming a mess of tears mixing with saliva from her sloppy blowjob. The mess she was making of herself clearly turned her on. From what little I could see of the face that was buried in my crotch, her eyebrows were turned up, I could feel her jaw starting to go slack. I gripped her hair harder and thrust my hips harder, drawing nearer to my own orgasm. But I wasn't going to cum before I'd fucked her, so I semi-reluctantly pulled out of her throat. She sat back and caught her breath for a moment before she stood up and bent over the desk, wiggling her ass enticingly.

I pushed into her with absolutely no hesitation, and she was wet enough that I didn't need to play with her any more. She was even tighter than Seolhyun, and I put my hand over her mouth to suppress her loud moan.

"Shhh." I murmured, and let go of her mouth. "Keep that pretty little mouth quiet."

I started thrusting into her, fast and steady. Her hands gripped the edge of the desk and she gritted her teeth to keep from making noise. I reached forward and grabbed her hair, forming it into a rough ponytail and pulling her head back.

"Daddy, it's too good, I can't hold b-back," she moaned, biting her lip. "You're so big, fuck..."

I fucked her faster, the desk creaking a little under the repeated motion. I could tell she was trying her best to keep herself from crying out, but I also knew it was coming.

"F-fuck, I can't...I can't...keep...quiet..."

She was shaking with suppressed pleasure and bucking her hips back on me. I slapped her ass, making her squeal, and pulled on her hair harder. Her tight hole compressed around my cock like it was made for me, the perfect balance between ease and resistance. I pushed two of my fingers on my other hand into her mouth, and she started sucking on them, moaning quietly.

"Give me more, please, daddy," she murmured, voice barely audible. "Faster, please...nghh yes keep going!"

My hips smacked against her thick ass with each thrust, the claps reverberating around the small room. I took my hand away from her mouth and brought it down to her clit, rubbing circles and pressing down, making the volume increase dramatically.

"Didn't I tell you to stay quiet?" I smacked her ass again.

"A-ah! Yes, daddy, I'm s-sorry!"

"Good." I resumed my fingering, making her whimper in her effort. It only took a few seconds of determined caressing of her clit to bring her resolve crumbing down once more.

"Fuck! It's so good daddy, please don't stop! Yes, yes, yes, more!"

I pulled out of her pussy and spanked her plump ass again. "Guess you're getting punished, baby girl."

"No, please! Please don't stop, I'm so close!" She desperately bucked her hips, trying to get me to fuck her again.

I didn't reply, but hauled her onto the desk and spread her legs, reaching forward to choke her. She gasped at the sensation of my head pressing into her pussy again, but nodded after a moment.

I snapped my hips forward and, due to how slick my cock was from her slick, easily pushed most of my length into her, drawing a guttural groan from her. She looked at me with pleading eyes, her expression indicating just how needy she was.

"Fuck my pussy hard, daddy," she breathed, "pound me like I'm your little slut."

"You are my little slut." I gripped her neck tighter and started my thrusts at a slower pace, still powerful. "Understood?"

"Yes, daddy."

"Good girl."

She shuddered and moaned, eyes rolling back in her head as I fucked her.

"Ohh yes, that feels so good..." she whined, hands still clutching the table's edge. "God yes, please keep going..."

"Shut up." I said "This is your punishment, remember?"

"Mmhmm!" She nodded vigorously. "It's my–fuck–punishment..."

I spanked her ass again and drove my cock into her faster. This hadn't been what I'd expected when I'd come in here, but I certainly wasn't complaining about the outcome.

"I'm gonna cum," I growled in her ear. "And you're going to take it all like a good girl, aren't you?"

"Yes, daddy," she gasped, her walls tightening around me as she bucked her hips. "I want all your cum in me!"

Her words sent me over the edge, and with a groan I buried myself inside her pussy and exploded, firing my hot cum deep into her womb. A rush of pleasure flowed through me, sending the feeling everywhere from my fingers to my toes. My muscles tightened and contracted, involuntarily sending my hips into her ass again. She jerked and trembled as the waves of orgasmic pleasure overtook her too, a powerful jet of cum spraying me.

"Fuck, daddy, yes!" She screamed, back arching. "S-so fucking good, yes!"

I pulled out of her pussy and collapsed back into the chair, sufficiently tired out for the time being. Her legs relaxed and fell into a resting position, and she slumped back and laid down.

...

It was a little while before either of us found the energy to do much other than pant and sit there resting. I heard the door creak open, looked over the top of the chair, and saw half of Seolhyun's grinning face peeking through the small opening.

"Yes?"

She smiled wider and closed the door, eyes raking over Suzy's slumped and naked form before doing so. I stood up and pushed the chair aside, went to and opened the door, and gestured Seolhyun in.

"You up for another round?" She asked immediately.

"Hell yes. Think Suzy's out, though."

"I want to ride your face." Her words were clear and decisive. I was entirely okay with that, so I laid down on my back on the carpeted floor. She then stripped off the large nightshirt she'd covered with and stood over my face, giving me an incredible view of everything she had to give. With no further ado she lowered her pussy onto my awaiting mouth and started grinding. I had a perfect visual of her softly whining and caressing her own breasts as she rubbed her slit against my tongue, which was prodding, swiping, and licking any part of her that was sensitive. She let out soft moans, moving her hips back and forth and pleasuring herself on my mouth.

As I was busy eating her out, I heard a creak from the desk and soft footsteps on the plush carpet. A minute later, Suzy's hands slid over my thighs and my cock was suddenly enveloped in a warmth which I could only assume to be her mouth. I groaned into Seolhyun's pussy and kept up my exertions, very quickly pushing her to her climax.

"Oh, fuck, just like that baby," she moaned, biting her lip and closing her eyes. Her eyebrows contracted as I circled her clit with the tip of my tongue. "Oh yes, I'm gonna cum!"

I worked my tongue harder, pushing into her entrance firmly. She shuddered and her legs tensed around my head, a sure sign of her approaching orgasm.

"Oh, you're so good at this, fuck! Oh god yes yes, don't stop!" I smirked, my ego stroked, and bucked my own hips a little into Suzy's mouth. Her tongue disappeared from my shaft momentarily and then something much wetter, much tighter pressed down on it. I let my head fall back a little as she impaled her warm, throbbing pussy on my cock, the pleasure doubling. I heard a loud cry from behind Seolhyun and I automatically started thrusting up into her.

For several minutes more, Suzy fucked me and I tonguefucked Seolhyun. She had been reduced to mindless pleas for more, body on autopilot as she gyrated her hips on my face. I was apparently way better with my tongue than I thought, and it was only a few more seconds before all three of us reached our peaks at the same time.

I went first, blowing up her pussy with a deluge of hot jizz that triggered her to cum; her warm juices splattered my abs and ran down my sides. Seolhyun's grinding sped up exponentially and then with a scream she met her orgasm. Her cum squirted into my waiting mouth and she fell back into Suzy's lap with an exhausted moan. We all stayed there for a moment more, basking in the after-orgasm bliss, before a notification pinged Seolhyun's phone. She picked it up, read the message, and scoffed. I looked up and could make out a text from one of her superiors:

"Having fun?"

She looked over at the security camera in the corner and gave it a sarcastic wave before putting down her phone and getting up. She dressed again quickly and left.

Suzy stood up clumsily a second later, a small trickle of my cum falling onto my abs. She too got dressed and left, leaving me alone in Seolhyun's office. I stood up, wiped my own cum off my abs with a paper towel, and put my boxers and pants back on. From what I could hear outside, one of the superiors had come down to see what was going on, judging by the voices outside.

"–yes, he was amazing. He knows his stuff." Seolhyun's voice said.

"Suzy?" said a male voice.

"Yes, he's such a good dom, he's so sexy and confident..." She said.

"Good, good. Yet another attribute we can add to the list of perfections. He's sure to be a hit soon enough."

I smiled and pulled away from the door, ego points going through the roof right about then. The conversation continued for a couple more minutes, then the door opened and one of my managers came in, dressed in a suit and tie.

"Ah, Y/N." He said briskly. "If you'll be so kind as to put on a shirt, you've been requested by one of your producers. He wants to talk about your title track, something about the lead sounds on the track. I really have no idea what the issue is, but he said he needs you right away."

I pulled my shirt over my head and refastened my tie around it, leaving the blazer on the chair. "He's been fussing about that for about a week. Might as well go see what we can improve."

"Thank you. Now, if you'll follow me..."

I followed him out the door and into the hall, where Suzy and Seolhyun were both standing, still flushed red. I threw Suzy a wink as I passed and she blushed harder, giggling. A satisfied smirk back on my face and confidence swelling within me, I followed the manager down the hall towards the studio, feeling that things could only go well from here.

[mypoisonedvine]

𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙤𝙢 || dieter bravo x camgirl!reader (part three; finale)

read 𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙩 (part one) and 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙢 (part two) first!

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 || he can't believe you're really here— now he has to just try not to blow it... figuratively speaking.

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩 || 5.7k

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 || smut (18+ only; unprotected sex, oral f receiving, multiple orgasms/overstimulation [for reader], creampie), sex work (however dieter technically does not pay the reader for sex, just her flight to visit him c:), mentions of covid-19 pandemic, soft dieter being soft, emotions!! lots of 'em!, extremely sappy/fluffy ending (oops?)

He wasn’t sure who he was more worried would get recognized: you, or himself.

It was his idea to go out to dinner first, in fact he’d insisted on it.  Going out to dinner in times like these was a bit iffy, but thankfully the place had outdoor dining and you’d both already tested negative— for more than just the virus…

It was a beautiful evening to eat outside, but it made him even more anxious that any passerby might know him either of you from your respective works; so far, no one had said anything though.

As he watched you take a sip of your sparkling water, he realized that he hadn’t had a crush on anyone in a long, long time.  He hadn’t had sweating palms and a racing heart and a dry throat over someone since probably high school.  By the time he was in his BFA program, he was so focused on his craft that he didn’t find himself worrying much about that sort of stuff— and if he wanted to get someone into bed, it didn’t seem like much to stress over.

This was different.  This wasn’t an issue of getting you to sleep with him, although he certainly hoped you wouldn’t renege on the intentions you’d stated before— this was about getting you to like him, maybe even (as he would’ve put it back when he last had a crush) ‘like like’ him.

“Was your flight okay?” Dieter asked compulsively to fill the silence, proud of himself for thinking of something to say.

“Still good,” you nodded.  “You asked me that when we first got here.”

“Right,” he sighed, “sorry.  I forgot.”

“It’s fine,” you laughed, setting your glass down on the white tablecloth.  “I’m nervous, too.  But in a good way.”

He smiled.  “Yeah— I’m just really excited that you’re here.  And it’s still kind of weirding me out that you’re… you know, real.”

“It’s definitely trippy,” you agreed.  “When you see somebody over video chat a lot, they look sort of surreal in real life.”

“Are you… speaking from experience?” he wondered, lowering his voice a bit.

“Yeah— but not this kind of experience,” you clarified.  “I’ve never met anyone from my work before— I told you that.”

“Right, yeah— I believe you,” he assured.  “Have you ever flown overseas just to meet someone before?”

You laughed, looking down for a second.  “No, I haven’t,” you answered, “but this isn’t the first time I’ve been, you know, wined and dined by somebody…”

“Well, I figured this wasn’t your first date,” Dieter scoffed.

“No, I mean— well, yeah,” you hummed, “but I, um… before I started camming, I was actually a sugar baby.  So I’ve had my flights paid for before, is what I mean.”

He widened his eyes a little, but nodded— hoping to look more intrigued than overwhelmed.  “Oh, wow, that’s— I don’t know a lot about that, honestly…”

“I was about to ask if you’d ever had a sugar baby before,” you smirked, “guess not.”

“Yeah, no,” he shook his head, “not my— not for me.  Not before, I mean— is that what you want?”

He got a little nervous that you would only want that— a relationship built on money.  He was more than happy to drop some cash on you— he’d offered to pay for everything for you on this trip, it only seemed fair when you had to come all this way— but he got a sick feeling in his stomach imagining that that was all you wanted from him.

But then again, he just said he didn’t know a lot about it, maybe it wasn’t like that… he just felt like it was another performance, and that was the last thing he needed from anybody.

“O-oh, no— not with us,” you answered quickly, blinking a few times, and he sighed with relief.  “I mean, it was nice— it wasn’t all old guys and crazy finance douchebags like people think,” you explained with a laugh, “but it was… it was hard work, in its own way.  ‘Cause another misconception is that it’s sex in exchange for money and gifts— it’s not, not the way I did it at least.  Those guys wanted the ‘girlfriend experience’... that’s the most profitable thing, whether it’s online or in-person.”

Dieter cleared his throat; can’t blame them, I guess…

“But, you know, they didn’t have the time for a genuine relationship, so it was like giving that emotion but never receiving it,” you continued, “and that was exhausting.  Not to mention most of them had other girls involved… I’m not a jealous person, but you know, that’s obviously not what I want for myself in the end.  So I switched to camming, worked out well with the pandemic and everything…”

“I’m sure,” Dieter agreed.  “So, um… maybe this is kind of a forward question, for a first date, but… what do you want for yourself in the end?”

You seemed to get a little more shy, then.  “Well…” you began softly.  “Despite what you’ve seen me do, I’m a pretty traditional girl.  I want a serious relationship, I want a lifelong commitment, I want… a family, probably.”

It was hard not to feel a lump in his throat when you said that, even if his emotions were conflicted at best.

“I mean— that doesn’t have to be you,” you rushed out, “I’m just saying… that’s the end goal.  I have a lot of time for that, in my opinion.”

“No, right,” he agreed.  “So then, I guess the obvious question— and probably a much easier one— is what’s your goal for tonight?”

You raised an eyebrow.  “I already told you my goal for tonight.”

He swallowed thickly.  He remembered your last message before getting on the plane pretty clearly: boarding now. hopefully i can get some sleep but i’m pretty wired ngl. just thinking about getting there and jumping your bones. i want you to fuck me so hard i can’t walk (or think) straight.

“Honestly, I wouldn’t have minded at all if you just took me straight to the hotel,” you smirked, “but dinner is nice.”

“Yeah, I— I thought about it,” he admitted.  “But… can I be honest?”

“Always.”

“I wanted this to be more than just… that,” he said.  He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to tell you, but he hoped it wouldn’t bother you too much.  Thankfully, the gentle smile creeping up your face seemed to indicate that it wasn’t particularly offensive.

“So, what do you want this to be?” you pressed.

“We can figure that out as we go,” he offered, “we should get to know each other better— for real.  But that night that we stayed up until three just talking after what was supposed to be a one-hour call—”

He saw you smile even wider as you remembered it.

“I haven’t felt close to anyone like that in—” he began, but it all stopped as the waiter suddenly appeared from thin air.

“Your tortellini, ma’am,” he said as he set your plate down in front of you, and you offered an intrigued ‘ooh’ as you examined the dish, “and your langoustines alla busara,” he finished as he set Dieter’s food down.

“Thank you,” you offered the server with a polite nod, but Dieter could only muster a hum— he was a little miffed that the guy had managed to interrupt such an important moment.

“Anything else I can get for you two?” he asked, looking back and forth.

You looked over at him to check first, before shaking your head and replying, “No, I think we’re alright.”

“Excellent,” he beamed.  “And— can I just say one thing?”

You both paused, not sure what to make of that.  “Uh, sure,” Dieter decided, since the waiter seemed to be looking at him.

“I loved you in Hunger Strike,” he said excitedly; Dieter tensed up, wanting to look at you to gauge your reaction but suddenly too afraid of what he’d find.

“Oh, thank you,” he mumbled out, “that… means a lot.”

“I mean, it really moved me,” the waiter insisted, even though Dieter just wanted this interaction to end promptly.  “You were so— I’m really not trying to intrude, but is there any way I can get your autograph?”

Then he looked at you, and he couldn’t quite read the expression on your face— amusement, maybe, with a hefty dose of discomfort as well.  You looked away and took a long sip of your drink.  “Uhh,” Dieter choked, looking back at his adoring fan, “you’ll get my autograph when you bring the check.”

Seeming to realize that he had gone too far, the young man straightened up and cleared his throat.  “Right, uh— enjoy your meal.”

Scampering away, he left the both of you behind, along with all that tension he’d created.  How come he got a escape a situation that was his own fault, and Dieter was stuck here wondering if you would be upset that he didn’t tell you who he really was— or if you’d reveal you were a crazy stalker-fan the whole time— or if knowing he was famous would change your interest in being with him (if you even had any)?

“I’m… sorry about that,” Dieter finally offered to you, and you started to smile.

“Don’t be,” you chuckled, “it was kinda funny.  Do you usually react so… badly, to that kind of thing?”

He coughed a bit.  “No, I— are you not…?  Do you know—?”

“I saw the movie, Hector, I don’t live under a rock,” you admitted.

“Oh.”  Not sure what to say next, he blurted out the first thing that came to mind: “What did you think of it?”

Shrugging, you answered with a simple ‘eh’.  There was a pause before he began to crack up— and then you did, too. 

“So, I’ve been worrying about all you finding out about my career for nothing?” he assumed, and you nodded.

“I didn’t recognize you right away,” you explained, “but I put it together before we planned all this.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he wondered.

“I mean, I didn’t think I needed to, really,” you shrugged again.  “It’s just your job.  I was ready to talk about it if you brought it up— if you wanted to vent about work or something— but you never did, so I figured it must not be relevant.”

“Does it… change anything between us?” he asked nervously.  “Do you feel weird about going out with a movie star?”

“Mm, I don’t know about star…” you smirked, making him laugh again— and that was the part that was the same as always.  You still made him laugh, and now that the two of you were really talking again, it felt just like that night that you talked for hours— but even better.

When the plates were cleaned and the bill was paid, the two of you walked back to his hotel— he’d picked this place in part because he could see it from his window.  But that brief walk back was one of his favorite parts of the night so far, only because he’d slipped his arm around you, and you leaned into him: in that moment, he felt more normal than he had in a long time— and yet, at the same time, special in a way he’d never felt before.

~

“I tried to clean up in here, but—”

“Isn’t there housekeeping for that?” you wondered.  

“Yeah, but… I’ve had the ‘do not disturb’ sign up for the past week,” Dieter explained.  “Didn’t want anyone to come in while we were talking…”

“Right,” you smiled, finishing your examination of the room and turning to face him again.  The door shut on its own; you were looking at him with every light in the room reflected in your eyes.

He stepped closer to you, and wrapped his arms around you, and— why were his palms so clammy?  “I don’t think I’ve been this nervous to kiss someone since… since maybe my first ever kiss,” he recalled, and you laughed softly.

“Yeah, me either,” you whispered back, and he ran his hand over the curve of your hip.  “Who was your first kiss?”

“Uh, Sandy something… Brendan, I think— no, Brennan… Sandy Brennan.  We sat next to each other in History class in seventh grade,” he recalled.  “What about you?”

“I mean, unless you count a peck or two from my kindergarten boyfriend,” you chuckled, “my first real kiss wasn’t until high school— Gregory Cho.  But I wasn’t that nervous… actually, I was sort of ready to get it over with.”

“There was someone I was really nervous to kiss in high school, too,” he recalled, “but that was… different.”

“Who was it?”

That name was much easier to recall.  “Alex Brooks.”

“Was she super pretty?  Or popular?” you pressed, wondering what had him so nervous, what made it different.

“Both,” Dieter replied quickly.  “And… he was captain of the basketball team.”

You didn’t react strongly, but he still noticed it.

“Is that—?” he began to ask.

“He sounds like a real catch,” you smiled.  “Was he a good kisser?”

“Yeah,” Dieter laughed, “for a high schooler.  I guess things don’t feel as special now as they did back then— just some decent making-out in someone’s dad’s truck was the coolest thing, now it’s like— it’s all right there, you don’t have to…” he trailed off, but started a new sentence.  “I mean, even you— I’ve seen every part of you, but I just really met you for the first time.  And somehow I’m so afraid to kiss you.”

You were still smiling, but it changed, and you reached up to rest your hand on the back of his neck; it made him shiver in the best way.  “If you’re afraid, then it must still be pretty special.”

You kissed him, after all that; he would’ve felt bad for making you wait, if he wasn’t so fully engrossed in kissing you back and pulling you closer and breathing in deeply against your skin.  

For a long time, that was all it was— just one, amazing kiss.  Just his lips on yours and the gentle dance of trying to go further without going to far; just your hands holding tightly onto his shoulders as he gripped your waist through the dress.

You started to pull him across the room by his shirt— towards the bed— and broke away to speak; he tried to chase your lips for more, but stopped when you bit your lip and rested a finger on his chin.

“You haven’t seen every part of me,” you corrected him— even though he barely fucking remembered saying that after a kiss like that.  “I mean, my body, sure, but… not who I really am.”

“Then show me that,” he pleaded.  “That’s what I want— you, everything.”

You smiled wide and kissed him again, the two of you toppling onto the bed together.  

He’d been thinking about doing this since the moment he saw you: pulling up the bottom of your dress so he could pet your thighs, enamored with the smoothness of your skin.  “Baby,” he purred when he caught sight of your panties— what little there was of them.  The lace just gave him a glimpse of what was beneath, a tease of your perfect little cunt.

“God, I need you so bad,” you groaned as you pulled him down for another kiss; he’d been hard since you wrapped your arms around him, and he could swear he was already throbbing by the time he rocked his hips against yours.  “Fuck— feels even bigger than it looked…”

“Maybe your computer screen wasn’t big enough,” he joked, making you laugh lightly before another moan came out when he rocked down on you again.  “What do you want, beautiful?”

“You… you know what I want…” you panted, wrapping your legs around his waist.

“Humor me,” he encouraged, moving in to kiss your neck— and loving the way you squirmed under him.

“Want— want you to fuck me,” you whimpered, “want you to make me— fuck— yours…”

He groaned deeply as he rutted his hips into yours harder, finally taunting you to the point that you had to reach down and start opening his pants.  “So eager,” he mocked playfully, as if he wasn’t going to ravage you the second you were done getting his cock out.

In fact, he almost tore your dress as he pulled it down to expose your chest, barely finding the time to appreciate the view of your tits before latching his mouth onto them.  “Oh fuck,” you gasped, and he smiled around the pert nipple in his mouth; these had seemed sensitive from the way you toyed with them as you touched yourself, but it was heaven on earth to confirm his suspicion himself.

“Want me to make you mine?” he prompted again, voice muffled by your delicate skin in his mouth, and you whimpered as you nodded.

“Yes— please—” you begged.

“Not sure I can do that,” he warned, and you gave him a confused look.  “You’re already mine, you told me yourself.”

You giggled, arching your back slightly as the tip of his tongue drew circles on you.  "I did say that, didn't I?"

"Mhm," he confirmed.  "Hard to forget."

"Well, m'still yours," you offered, "but I need you right now, I'll do— fuck, anything, just—"

"You don't need to do anything," he assured, looking up at you as he moved his mouth from your breast down a little lower, "just lay back and I'm gonna take care of you."

You bit your lip and nodded.

"Second I saw you I wanted to kiss you all over," he sighed.

"Well, I've got a couple ideas of where you can start," you smirked.

And yes, he would love to start there, but he needed to do his best not to rush this.  So, smiling up at you first, he began his journey.  His lips and tongue explored your body on his way down: a kiss here, a lick there, a playful bite when he felt extra naughty.  "You're so fucking beautiful," he mumbled against you.

"Yeah?  You too," you sighed.

He didn't think of himself like that— handsome, maybe, certainly aware of his better angles, but beautiful felt strange.  But he liked it, especially when you said it.  Especially when you said it while he was slotting his face between your legs.

It was even prettier up close, and the smell was fucking intoxicating: tangy and musky and sweet, heady, earthy, human.  And he knew you'd taste even better.

So he dove right in.  Maybe he should've started with your clit, that would've been the obvious choice, but his instincts led him to just slide his tongue right into your hole.  If nothing else, it certainly seemed to take you off guard, and you gasped as you grabbed onto his hair with both hands.

"Baby, fuck, that's— oh god, you can't imagine how many times I thought of this," you admitted, breathing heavy already.  He smiled against you, then gave you one big lick from the furthest down his tongue could reach all the way to the very top— all while holding fierce eye contact with you.  "Fu-uuuuck," you choked, dropping your head back just as your eyes rolled up.  "That's so… just do that again, please…"

He did it a few more times, noticing the way you seemed to get more impatient with each one, until your hips were chasing after his tongue.  "Stay still, baby, don't you trust me to do this right?" he purred, holding tighter on your hips.

"Yeah, I just— been so long," you whimpered.

He just did his best to find what made you scream the loudest and keep doing that— you were so sensitive, he just had to press his tongue down flat on your clit and move it in circles and you’d start shaking and sobbing and begging.  He moaned into you every time you tugged on his hair, having to rock his hips against the bed to appease his attention-deprived cock.

"You're… so amazing," you panted, "I— fuck! Oh god, I can't remember the last time someone—"

You never finished your thought, because he started fucking you with his tongue and you were too busy moaning his name, but he couldn't believe what a waste it was that nobody was eating this pussy on a regular basis.

"Gonna— oh fuck, yes, gonna come," you warned, "I… I'm gonna come so fucking hard…"

You started shaking, and he started fighting to keep you as still as he could so his work wouldn't be interrupted.  For a second he wondered if you were already coming or not— but then you made this noise, and your cunt clamped down on his tongue, and you cried out his name; it was perfect, it was the most beautiful moment he could ever imagine.

When it became too much, you went from tugging his hair to pushing him away with it, and he grinned up at you with a breathy laugh.  “Fuck, baby,” you whimpered, and he saw the tear streaks on your temples and cheeks.  He traced one with his thumb before kissing you again— deep and hungry, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.

He hummed when your hands reached down to work on getting his pants off— eager and shaky, he certainly related to that.  As soon as your hand wrapped around his cock, he moaned, just from that.  He was almost embarrassed about it, until you bit his lip in playful encouragement.  "Does that feel good?" you purred.

"Yeah— your hands are better than mine," he laughed breathlessly.  

"How about this?" you raised an eyebrow, swiping your thumb over his slit, and he groaned as he rocked into your touch.

"God, baby…" he groaned.  As good as it felt, he found the strength to grab you by both your wrists and pin them down by your head.  You grinned, struggling just a bit, and moaned as he slid his cock against your soaking pussy.

“Don’t tease me,” you begged, “feels like I’ve been waiting forever.”

But he wasn’t teasing you— he was psyching himself up.

Believe it or not, he actually felt pretty nervous about this part.  Not for a lack of experience— for the entirely opposite reason.  Dieter had been with a lot of people, and for the most part, it was all… the same.  It all blended together— he only remembered those people from when he was a kid because he was a kid, and his romantic encounters were so few and far between.  He could remember details of his various partners from the last few years— Crystal who had a clit piercing, Marvin who begged to be choked, Cameron who seemed to enjoy giving him a blowjob even more than he enjoyed receiving it— but this, the actual sex, it was generally pretty interchangeable.  

So, he was worried that after all that build-up, after all the yearning and fantasizing and talking, that this would be the end of it being special— and you would just turn into a hook-up with a slightly more interesting backstory than the rest.  

As valid as that fear was, it was far from enough to stop him now, not when you were looking up at him and tightening your fists as he kept you pinned and silently begging for him with your eyes.

He had to let go of one of your hands to guide himself inside, but he interlaced the other with your fingers while he did it— and then, with one strong push, he was fully within you.

“Oh my god,” he gasped, “you feel… different.”

You raised an eyebrow, chuckling a little.  “Uh, different than what?”

Than everyone else.  “I— I don’t know,” he breathed, “I’m not making sense.”

“Not really,” you agreed with a laugh.

“Hard to think straight right now,” he defended.

It wasn’t just that you felt different— it was that this felt different: being with someone he really cared about, that he wanted to impress, that he wanted to see after this was over.

Someone that he never wanted to let go of.

“You feel so fucking perfect,” you whimpered, “fuck, don’t stop— feels so good—”

One of the benefits of making you come on his tongue first was that he knew it wouldn't be that bad if he didn't last too long now— though that wasn't why he did it.  In fact, this was rarely his issue, if anything sometimes he struggled to finish for unclear reasons.

But even if he could get away with finishing quickly, he wanted to make this last as long as he could.  He never wanted this to end, actually.

As he found his pace— not too speedy yet, but with a bit of his eagerness showing— he kissed you again, deeply and hungrily.  He wondered if he'd ever done this before: kissing during sex.  He felt like he probably had, and yet he couldn't remember it— maybe that said more than anything.

This, on the other hand, was very memorable.  He slid his arms under you when your back arched, he held you tight and close and drank in every one of your moans through that kiss.

For how many times he’d pictured fucking you, he never really imagined it like this… and he thought he’d imagined it every way before.  But he realized that he’d mostly imagined it a bit kinker— you riding him, or him fucking you while you were bent over the table in his room, or 69’ing or something.  This was passionate, and sorta slow; this was his hips grinding on yours with every thrust so he could keep rubbing your sore clit; this was making love, he realized— if it wasn’t, he couldn’t imagine what was.

“I— fuck, baby— think I’m gonna come again,” you warned him with the most beautiful whiny sob.

“Fuck, already?” he smiled, and you nodded feverishly.  

“Just… don’t stop, please, just like that— fuuuuck!” you choked, and he gasped every time your walls clenched down on him.

“You’re so fucking perfect, fuck,” he grunted, moving a bit faster and not letting up on the pressure from his pubic bone on your clit, even when you actually screamed under him.  “You’re so amazing, oh god, I—”

He heard it before he said it: I think I love you.  He stopped himself before blurting it out— maybe he’d tell you after, but he wasn’t so far gone to forget that this wasn’t the right time.  You’d think he didn’t really mean it, that it was just the delirium talking from how incredible you felt, but he knew it was so much more than that.

He shut himself up by kissing your neck— not too hard, but plenty to leave a mark, and make you squirm in the process.  Your hands wrapped around his back and your nails dug into his skin, but he couldn’t even feel the pain of it, he couldn’t feel anything but the sticky, resplendent heat of your body.

“So much fucking better than the goddamn dildos,” you said suddenly, and he laughed against your skin.  

“Do you miss all those people watching you come?” he wondered.

“No, fuck no,” you panted, “there’s nobody else but you.”

He couldn’t help but fuck you faster when you said that— you should’ve known better than to stroke his ego that way.

“Fuck!” you sobbed.  “Hector, baby, you’re so— oh god, I don’t know if I can take it—”

“Shh, you can,” he promised, “you can do anything, you can come for me again—”

“Oh fuck, I— I might,” you admitted shakily, “but then I’ll— I’ll fucking pass out or something.”

“No, you’ll be okay,” he promised, cooing at you softly.  “You’ll be so good for me, I know you will— just come for me one more time, baby, tell me what you need to come again.”

“I… just a little time is all I need,” you answered, voice breaking.  “I swear I’ve never— I’m not usually so— fuck, it’s just you—”

“I know,” he assured, loving the way you babbled praises but worried it would distract you from coming again; and if you didn’t soon, there wouldn’t be time before he lost it.  He was already barely able to keep his composure just from how beautiful you looked like this, let alone how you felt.  “I know, just let it happen, I know it’s right there for me— just come for me, beautiful—”

You dragged him down into a sloppy kiss, and he felt it— those incredible pulses inside you, waves of slick coating him until he felt sticky all the way down his thighs; your sobs were more precious than anything he’d ever heard.

“Fuck, that’s good,” he praised, fucking you even faster now as your head fell back limply.  “I can’t h-hold back anymore, I need to—”

“I know,” you said to him this time, “it’s okay, please— want you to…”

“You still— oh my god…” he choked, losing his train of thought for a moment.  “You still want me to come inside you?  Wanna be full?”

“Yes,” you whined, “yes, baby, please— wanna be so full of your come, I want everything—”

"Fuck, okay," he agreed, gasping as he tried to keep up his pace despite the growing pressure inside.  "I'm really fucking close…”

“I’m yours,” you told him again— and then he went from ‘really fucking close’ to ‘already fucking there’.  He came inside you with a long, whimpered groan; his head dropped onto your shoulder while each pump filled you, trying to catch his breath but feeling like he’d never find it again.

Admitting he loved you during sex wasn’t a good idea, but saying it immediately after wasn’t that much of an improvement.  Now, though, he was too exhausted to keep his mouth shut.  “I think I love you,” he blurted out suddenly.

For one incredibly long second, you didn’t react at all.  You looked up at him, and he hesitated to even look back because he didn’t want to see anything less than ecstasy on your face.  “Oh,” you said, “cool.”

He wasn’t sure what reaction he anticipated, good or bad, but it wasn’t that.

“Let me know when you know,” you suggested.

“No!  No— I know,” he insisted, reaching up to hold your face, “I know.  I love you.  I think I did even before you came here, but… it just seemed so crazy.  We don’t know each other as well as we should for that, right?  But I feel it— I feel something that I just can’t explain—”

“Hey, slow down,” you laughed, “I feel it too.”

The way you smiled at him, resting your hand on his chest— was he glowing?  He felt like he was actually glowing.  “Good,” he decided.

“Let’s get to know each other better, then,” you announced.  “Start from the beginning, the whole thing: parents, siblings, school, favorite movies, worst dates, hot dogs or hamburgers—”

“No, you start,” he pouted, “you’re more interesting.”

“Me?  Please, I’m just your average camgirl titty streamer, don’t worry about it,” you scoffed.

“And I’m just some lame old Oscar winner,” he shrugged.

But both of you talked— all night, actually.  You never fell asleep, he was never even that tired— you kept him so full of energy he didn’t even notice how long it had been until the sun started to come up.  And then you kept talking at breakfast.  And then you fucked again, and talked some more after; he knew it had to end, eventually, but he didn’t even want to think about it.  He didn’t want to think about you going home and letting something so perfect end.

He told you just as much on the last night— assuming you didn’t switch your flight home to a later day again.  You’d just been laying in his arms after another bout of passionately desperate fucking, both of you half-asleep but not wanting the separation of even just unconsciousness, and he blurted it out.

“Don’t leave,” he pleaded under his breath.  “I don’t want you to go.”

“I know you don’t,” you returned softly.  

“I don’t want this to end.”

You were quiet for a while, turning over on your side to face him, tracing your fingers over his chest gently.  “It doesn’t have to end, just because I leave,” you mumbled.  “I know it’s crazy, but we can be together, even if we’re not… together.  I mean, I’m certainly not gonna be with anybody else—”

“Me either,” he said quickly, before he could change his own mind with the doubts— the voice in his head that said he could never settle down because he’s too fucked up.  “I only want you.”

“It’ll suck, being far away from each other— but you’ll be back Stateside eventually, right?” you assumed.

“God, I hope so,” he sighed, “if the world doesn’t end.”

“If it does,” you whispered, moving in closer, “I hope it’s tonight.  I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else but here.”

It was a romantic thought, but as he kissed you, he realized he’d never wanted the world to end less than he did right now.  He never longed for an apocalypse or anything, even on nights that his doubts and anxieties made him yearn for oblivion just for himself, but just now he could’ve cried thinking about everything falling apart tonight.  Whether it be by fiery explosion or a quiet, instant disappearance, he couldn’t let armageddon happen now— now that he had you.  For the first time, he saw himself having a future, in a way he never had before.  Existing as a ‘celebrity’ meant being on the edge of irrelevance at any moment, knowing this could all go away overnight and you’d just be ‘that guy who was in that thing that one time’.  

But this time, he stood on a precipice of something wonderful, of something natural, and it was the most beautifully terrifying unknown.  It was tomorrow.  Tomorrow, you’d get on the plane; tomorrow, you’d leave, because the world wasn’t going to end tonight.  But his life was going to start tonight, and he didn’t have to face it alone anymore.

[cuppajj]

Hwello! Black Pearl anon back again with another inquiry about the good ol' Duskgloom Sovereign in BAAU—

So BP would understandably be enraged after Dragonberry whoops her tail, but do you think she would do anything besides sulk and await the day DB returns to get revenge? 

BP strikes me as a character who, while not in the best headspace, would dread the idea of being defeated by a land Cookie, and would want to avoid such a fate at all costs. Maybe a fight with DB is a wake up call that some major stuff is happening outside the Duskgloom Sea, stuff that could potentially one day come knocking at her door.

CRK lore is a bit iffy about whether or not BP can leave the Duskgloom Sea, but I doubt she would remain idle after seeing the threat that DB alone poses to her… 

BP begrudgingly might be willing to make a deal, perhaps to ensure the safety of her sea, perhaps to gain even more power, perhaps to simply help others work against DB (and the other [Neo]Beasts)… or work with them.

idk I might just be nerding out about BP too much. love baau regardless, you're doing a beautiful job!

Helllloooooo BP anon :)

That is a good question!! I also like the idea of her actively hunting Dragonberry down, but it just depends on if she can leave the duskgloom sea… which honestly I’m pretty sure she can (afaik the duskgloom sea is just her stomping grounds and not a place she’s tethered to), she just has no reason to.

That is unless she’s petty enough to chase after Dragonberry! It’s fun to think about a minor saga where Dragonberry’s kingdom is threatened directly by the legendary. I’m fairly certain her kingdom is coastal, so I can see a vivid image of the beast of pride stepping out on her balcony to see the mer looming over the horizon with hateful, glowing eyes. If she’s here, Dragonberry figures, then she wants something from her; and she knows what that is.

Dragonberry would be more guarded since BP showed up to her kingdom, so there are liabilities all over the place, but she’s not against sending Black Pearl into the sea again. She might even bring Pitaya out to play!

Cue part two of the epic girlboss anime battle that ends with BP getting her ass kicked again, but she did put more of a number on Dragonberry. The beast would probably respect her enough to offer to leave her sea alone (there’s nothing of interest there like she first thought) if she plays nice and does something for her; I totally see her interested in a (subservient) ally in BP, who could serve as some good intimidation for the beast—especially towards Cacao, whose licorice sea is gradually getting closer to invading her kingdom’s waters. And if BP refuses… Dragonberry won’t be mad, won’t even kill her if she can, but she’d laugh and look forward to knocking on her door a third time.

If they do become allies then Dragonberry would definitely know that Pearl still wants to destroy her; compromise or not, she’d always be eager to fight the mer again.

[milkytheholy1]

TMNT Masterlist

2003:

Leo:

Third base - Leo x Female Reader

Hey everyone, I currently have two requests left to do but I really want to get some stories that I personally came up with as well. I really want to try writing for different versions of the turts besides 2012 and Rise even if they are my fav versions. Sorry if the character interactions are a bit iffy in this one, I haven't seen much of the 2003 series I'm only up to season 2.

Donnie:

Drawn to you - Donnie x GN Reader

No, the tech-savvy turtle was drawn to you by your persistence, by the way you poured yourself into your work, how you understood the need to complete something no matter how long it took.

Mikey:

Turtle titan to the rescue! - Mikey x Female Reader

Okay so far warning, I haven’t really watched past season 3 of the 2003 series, I have been working my way through it though. So some characters might not sound or act like how they should from the show and I might end up getting some stuff wrong, so sorry in advance. This story will flip between 1st and 3rd person narrative.

2012:

All Turtles:

Turtle Power part 1

What if you included even more turtles in the hit tmnt movie, TMNT:Turtles Forever? This isn't an X Reader fic and takes places in the 2012 universe...well, for the start at least.

Leo:

Dear diary - Leo x GN Reader

Leo practicing how to ask them out with many many scripts for acting in front of a mirror:") or maybe they find out about his diary! You can pick

A confident strut - Leo x GN Reader

Went with the first one since it's been some time since I wrote for my 2012 boy! This is going to be set before the whole sister reveal, but I wanna make it clear that I do not ship Karai and Leo together cause that shit is gross. Enjoy!

I heard you - Leo x Female Reader

The reader,who has a crush on Leo, waits by Leo's side for him to wake up in the farm house and she is so relieved when he wakes up after months

Not traditional - Leo x Male Reader

The reader is giving Leo a whole sexuality crisis so Leo asks April if it's weird for a guy to like another guy and April reassures him that it's perfectly normal, and later that week Leo accidentally slips that he likes (y/n) and in a flash the have this little moment of understanding that they both like each other and want to be more than friends.

Goodbye Leonardo part 1 - Leo x Female Reader

I know what you're thinking, two stories in one night? This is somewhat based on the season four episode: Broken Foot. Also sorry it's so long but I had to fill in some blanks to get to the build-up of the story and sorry for the rushed ending it's currently past midnight where I'm from and I'm very tired.

Goodbye Leonardo part 2 - Leo x Female Reader

Okay, okay, you'll get your stinking part 2. This is probably one of the most requested fics I've ever done, the original intention was to leave it as a standalone fic. But, because you all seem eager for more I eventually broke and decided to do it. This is set a few years after the original and doesn't follow the episode 'Broken Foot' like the original oneshot. In my opinion, it's also waaay more angsty and it might actually be sadder than the first one. So I hope the wait was worth it, enjoy!

Donnie:

Wrong about me - Donnie x Female Reader

Donnie gets cheated on by April and (y/n) finds out and hurts April's feelings then comforts Donnie?

Hot - Donnie x Female Reader

Donnie was talking about some science stuff the last 20 minutes, but reader can't fully pay attention to what he's saying because they're just thinking about his voice, his gestures and everything. They think "don't you realize how hot you are?", but Donnie stops talking and reader realizes they just said that out loud and now they want to die.

Happy birthday - Donnie x GN Reader

it’s the reader’s birthday and the turtles just find out and they have to quickly set up a surprise birthday for the reader.

Well done science boy - Donnie x GN Reader

Had this idea in my head for a few days so thought I'd post it, I wanted to make it a shorter story than what I normally do but I got too lost in it and it ended up being just as long, oops. Hope you enjoy!

Hello nurse - Donnie x Female Reader

Literally did this so I could pull off one reference, that's all. Enjoy!

Raph:

Hots for you - Raph x Female Reader

Raph finds out that his girlfriend is bisexual?

Heard you from a mile away - Raph x GN Reader

not going to lie I had to search up what it meant, decided to do Raph since i've never written for him before in the 2012 version. So if this comes across as out of character, apologies. Anyway, enjoy!

2014/2016: Leo:

Red lips - Leo x Female Reader

“Don’t give me that face, it’s so cute I might not be able to hold back.”

Donnie:

Five years - Donnie x Female Reader

Donnie creates a portal that transports them to 2021.

Five years alt ending - Donnie x Female Reader

It’s weird how many people have asked me for them to have kids, but I guess if that’s what you guys want to see then here is a short version 2, if you will, of five years. Be sure to read the original or it won’t really make much sense, this is just the ending. Enjoy!

Life is a dream part 1 - Donnie x GN Reader

You felt the small vibrations of your phone in your pocket, pulling it out you saw Donnie was once again calling you crap, "H-hey Donnie, I promise I'm on Allen Street. I'm like less than a minute away." you panted into the device. You could hear his sigh through the speaker, "Don't worry about it, I'm just wasting valuable pop tart time." he joked, your laughter was his reward.

Part 2 - Donnie x GN Reader

Speaking of the brothers, Mikey was sat playing some video games while leaning over to slurp his coke, you could hear panting and the sounds of something being destroyed coming from the dojo Raph. Finally taking lighter steps into the lair, you could smell a sweet fragrance waft through the air Leo.

Part 3 - Donnie x GN Reader

"Do you remember that video where the cat plays chopsticks with the chopsticks?" Mikey asked, pushing aside Donnie and getting closer to your face. You flinched at his close proximity, your mind still trying to adjust to your bright surroundings. "Can we focus here?" Leo argued, pulling Mikey away from you, he securely wrapped his arm around his younger brother in case he felt the need to jump at you again.

Final part - Donnie x GN Reader

"What?" he asked, "Can I ask you something?" You pondered why you were willing to tell Raph some of your deep, dark thoughts and not someone like Donatello "It's a free country," he quipped going back to his knitting. "Right," you said, glancing down to avoid making eye contact "It's just that...do you think- feel like something is off?"

Mikey:

Parading in style - Mikey x Male Reader

So I don’t know much about pride parades in NYC but I can only imagine they’re triple the ones from where I’m from, I’m also not going to give you a description of Mikey’s human form as that can be up to you. I’ve learned from experience that everyone has a different view of these characters and it’s unfair to the reader to force them to take my view of what he could look like, so yeah he looks like whatever you want him to. Hope you enjoy!

Raph:

A cold night in new  - Raph x Female Reader

Reader's apartment building's heat went out during a really chilly spring day, so when raph comes over he's all like "why tf does she have the thermostat on 5 degrees", but then he finds her cuddled up with tons of blankets on the couch, watching tv. after turning down the volume, reader explains the situation with the heat while shivering and clutching the blankets. raph has a brilliant plan for this.

Begging - Raph x Female Reader

Bayverse Raph and his S.O get into a huge fight and he hurts her feelings and Raph found her on the rooftop crying and he asks for forgiveness

Seeing you - Raph x Female Reader

The reader feels invisible and lonely, so she confides in Raph and telling him how her current boyfriend is using and abusing her. Then later on Raph confesses his feelings for the reader but her abusive boyfriend catches the reader and raph together.

I promise - Raph x Female Reader

The reader has scars from her mother and she shows Raph while crying about them and Raph listens and comforts her.tumblr

[alpaca-clouds]

Some thoughts on Nocturne

Okay, we finally have a trailer and some actual information on the show, I think it is kinda fun to speculate, right? And just have some thoughts. No, scratch that: Actually I got a lot of thoughts. Even though barely anything is confirmed.

Firstly: Yeah, let's face it, it does not look like there is a ton of plot tonna survive from the two games inspiring it. Which undoubtedly will once again leave the game fans angry. But even though I enjoyed the heck out of Symphony of the Night (still gotta play Rondo full), I still think it is kinda a good thing. Because most Castlevania games are fairly light on story. Which - I said this before - is okay. It is totally okay for a videogame to be like: "Slay big monster." But if you want to translate it into a more narrative focused medium, you gotta change stuff.

I was originally kinda sceptical about the entire French Revolution thing for two reasons. 1) Well, technically I doubt that the French Revolution is still gonna happen after how the first series ended. But that might just be me. 2) Western Media, but American Media especially sucks when it comes to portrayels of the French Revolution as it usually goes back to the "There were good people on both sides!" kinda outlook, that does not really get the revolution and everything that was going on.

Funnily enough the thing that made me a bit more optimistic on this point is just them making Annette Black and from what I gather from that preview article released two days someone who has escaped slavery. I mean, game!Annette is just the usual passive kinda woman for the most part. And this is... definitely more interesting than that.

Especially given there is also another detail that nobody seems to acknowledge: Outside of showrunner Clive Bradley, all the episode writers (Temi Oh, Testament and Zodwa Nyoni) are Black. Which kinda seems like a very conscious choice. And given that the French Revolution does not get the credit it deserves as an abolition movement and something that definitely also helped to lead to the Haitain Revolution, I start to get my hopes up that they are gonna actually work with that aspect of the (hi)story.

One thing that is also interesting to me - though also kinda iffy - is the thing with Orlox and Richter's mother.

Iffy because it makes Richter join the ranks of Castlevania protagonists at least partly inspired by the death of a woman. What is it with this franchise and that fucking refrigirating warehouse filled with women?! I mean, Jesus, you people are aware that man can actually be inspired to do stuff for other reasons than a woman dying, right?!

But... We also know that Orlox does not seem to be the main antagonist, but apparently is someone who ends up making uneasy allies with Richter and Co., which kinda makes me hope that there is actually gonna be a bit more nuance to this than it appears at first glance.

Orlox says in the trailer that Richter's mom killed someone very dear to him (honestly, if this is gonna be another refrigerated woman, I am gonna flip a fucking table, though I guess I also do not want buried gays) and a part of me kinda hopes that it might go into the direction I brought up concerning my Belmont family headcanon with this discussing the idea of "killing all vampires is kinda bad, too".

Another thing about Orlox is, too, that he is not white. I read him as Black originally, but given that he is voiced by Zahn McClarnon, who is indigenous, I am gonna assume Orlox here is of Indigenous heritage. Which is gonna make for an interesting storybeat, given that in the series so far we had non-white vampires, yes, but... none of them had much in terms of story, let alone even voicelines.

Especially given another thing...

Given from what we see in the trailer, there definitely is gonna be a theme of "nobility = vampires" going on here. We can only guess about how much of it being like actual: "Oh, yeah, all nobles are vampires!" But there are definitely gonna be some vampires nobles opposed to the revolution. That seems to be pretty clear.

Aaaaaand... that makes me wonder, whether or not there is actually gonna be some commentary about the different ranks within vampire society.

Let me explain: All vampires with voicelines (or, heck, NAMES) within the original Castlevania series were nobles of some sort. It was what in other franchises would be called Vampire Lords. Well, with the exception of Ratko, that is, who explicitly is a soldier. Most of the vampire soldiers are just faceless characters with the same four designs repeating over and over. They are just the canon fodder who dies, when the heroes need their action scenes. But... That always made me wonder what vampire society actually looked like for these people.

And given the time this is now set in... and that Orlox is apparently indigenous... I kinda doubt that he is a vampire lord, given the times. If we have the vampire nobility being actual nobility... They gotta be racist, right?

Maybe I am just conjecturing too much here. But... That would actually make for an interesting idea.

Also, also... In the original show there is not a single Black or Arabian vampire. Which is also... interesting. Just saying.

We also know that the main antagonist seems to be Erzsebet Báthory (rather than Shaft or Dracula, though obviously this could also be the trailer trying to mislead us).

Fun Fact: Did you know that there is two vampires in the Castlevania games based on historical serial killers, who these days are both presumed to have been innocent? (Bathory and de Rais.)

This is something where I am super interested to see, where they are going to go with the character. Because there definitely is this historical assumption these days that she might have been innocent - and man would that make for a more interesting character than her being actually just a child murderer.

We so far see too little of her to really speculate much. But I definitely find it interesting that they have chosen her as the antagonist.

Also... There is this whole thing of Vampire Messiah and all of that going on and blocking out the sun and what not. And I kinda do wonder if anyone is gonna go like: "Uhm, yeah, without a sun we cannot grow shit and everyone is gonna starve, including vampires!"

Other more short form thoughts:

We see this night creature apparently saving Annette from a vampire or other night creature. What's up with that? Or is it even a night creature? We definitely see night creatures in that big eclipse scene, but there issomething else that might be going on here. Because...

Admittedly, the one vampire I have trouble placing in my theory is this one. She does seem to be on the side of Bathory in this based on everything we see in the trailer. From all I can find, she does not have a name as far as I could find. But she does fight Annette and all of that. And she definitely is Black, making me wonder what her story is.

BUUUUUT... If you look at her full design in the scene where she is fighting Annette, she looks remarkably like the night creature saving Annette in the above screenshot. So...

We see those masked figures in the trailer, with the clear implication that they are vampires. And last night (well, European night that is) someone on one of the servers was like: "Hey, is the blond masked guy Alucard with short hair?" And I originally brushed it off. But... I also think now they might be right, because he has normal ears and not poity vampire ears. And that is only something we saw in Alucard so far (not that we see a ton of his ears - which made me to always assume for my fics he has pointy ears, but I crossreferenced the models and yeah, no, Alucard has normal ears). So, either this is Alucard... or some other dhampir. Probably not a full-blooded vampire though.

In this one shot of what seems to be Annette using her magic, we see that she has a Fleur-de-lis either painted, tattooed or branded on her right hand. And I gotta wonder what is up with that. Given that she is a freed/runaway slave, I do wonder whether she has some ties to the royal family in one way or another?

We do see Maria summon what clearly looks like Byakku. And I am wondering how they are gonna go about Maria's powerset. Because it is another thing were the games do not have a ton of story happening. She summons beasts that are strictly linked to East Asian mythology, even though she is not from East Asia because of... reasons. I certainly hope she is gotta get more of a reason to do so here. (Especially given her entire Ninja-thing in Symphony, that made about as much sense lol Please note: I love game!Maria. It is just kinda a hilarious "Japanese games will do this" thing to me.)

We do not see a ton of Tera using magic in the trailer. Buuuuut in this scene she uses ice magic and definitely uses the same hand sign for it Sypha uses. She also vaguely has the same color scheme (blue and black) as the speakers do. And the same blue eyes like Sypha. Is she related to the speakers somehow? (And given the role that the Romani people also kinda had in terms of the revolution: Will we just stick with the speakers taking over the roles of Sinti and Roma?)

What is going on in this scene?

I mean, we definitely see Richter using magic in the trailer (which still makes a ton of sense to me, given he is gonna be as much of a descendent of Sypha as he is of Trevor). But this... does kinda seem as if he might have something more than just normal magic going on there.

Also: I just adore that half of the trailer Richter is crying. Someone hug this poor boy.

Finally: I sure hope it will keep up the gay levels of the series so far xD

[fanficfish]

hetalia: my hc on nations and personalities

...beyond the stereotypes!

okay okay hear me out okay hc brainrot midnight time im jacked on caffeine and the night is young aight

so lets get this straight: so first off i imagine the nations are like 96% "stereotypes of ttheir nation" (e.g. the more people think or are americans that digest too many burgers, to more likely it is America himself eats attrocious amounts of burgers. The more people say Germans are swrious, the more likely Germany is a serious dude. etc. the normal stuff we all know off.)

but the other 4%? That's the nation's "person" side, seperate from their "nation" side. It varies a little depending on country ofc but that's prob the average.

E.g. hungary and austria "divorced" but they clearly care for each other. They can't be together for literal reasons but the non-nations parts of them wouldn't mind at all.

prussia is knwon aa a great warrior so that's what he is. But his non-nation half has self doubts and the need to keep an eye on his family. Like llease, Prussia how did you know what Austria wears and eats??? I get a feeling this wasn't in the mdidle of WW2, probabky right before if i had to geuss. Austria wouldn't have moved in with Germany and by exention aprussia yet....and he waa following the dude....prussia is an overprotective helicopter parent of an older brother, canon.

France and his distaste for technology. Exhibit A: french music was consistantly the one doing the weird innovative stuff in my music history class when it wasn't Schoenberg. Besides that, i could see France not liking tech as much due to being literally a thousand. Heck, i'm pretty sure half the old nations are a bit iffy about it just because "wdym now i can't just didappear lff the grid without anyone getting cocnerned and i need passports and phones and shit?" Except maybe Denmark, China, and Japan. Those three are 100% ipad kids in old men bodies.

iceland oozes gen z. enough said. The man might be obsessed with finding tourists and his northern lights and his weird museums but the thing where his beothers are throwing plates at his door and he's like "hell noooo"? The one where he's going off to make friends over ding-dong soup with the ASEAN dudes? That's allll Iceland, the person. Far as i could find there os no iceland-malaysia embassy and closest it got was relations with indonesia. (I highly recommend checking out the iceland-diplomatics-relations wiki page. There's a very interesting factoid under the list for Asian countries i think many of you will be interested in.....but per my own doctrine, this is a Hetalia hc post and not a Politica post.)

america and his animals. That goes for estonia too. Americans are no adopting whales and aliens as pets (well maybe the donate-and-save-an-animal program but we aint keep them in the house) and i doubt estonians keep talking mochi they found randomly in a disty corner. I'm fairly certain most Eatonians don't hell "latviaaaaaa!!!!" When things go wrong either.

austria getting lost is just a him thing. That's not normal for austrians, music part is very much influenced by his people. His preference to chopin might be him though since Salzburg is in Austria and that's Mozartland. Also, Chopin is Polish.

I won't even start with the clusterfuck called Russia but Japan daydreaming about Switzerland? Yeah that was Japan's non-nation side getting really weird. Japan understandably was just as confused himswlf considering for the most part he has no prpblems being a "stereotypical japanese dude".

need i mention Italy, who has a huge crush on Germany m/hre despite him literally changing in basically everything (because that's the natire of a nation), and just likes the guy as long as he exists?

I also choose to believe Sweden can grow a beard if he really followed the stereotype (no seriously. Why os the image i get of Sweedish guys just dudes with beards? Someone has a really nice sweden somewhere ln this site where he has a lovely beard and it just makes him look like the embodiment of sweeden, no questions asked). But he doesn't like it, which fair o imagine beards aren't fun when stiff gets stick in them or whatever, so he just shaves or leaves some stubble. Def not cuz Asians and beards is just not really a thing so Hima prob just didn't draw beyond the stubble.

Latvia being a secret brainiac that plays mental chess against himself while doing other stuff, all hidden under an alcoholic who can't get rid of his past. Pretty sure his blabbermouth thie is his own personality. I did see somewhere that there's a steretype that Latvians have six toes and i kinda wanna just believe Latvia got that one too cuz why not!

theres others im sure but yeah. Those are the knes i came up with and im gonna sleep now bye lmk what you think

[rust-is-a-car-disease]

Vtk hc(s) ✨

Cassian and water things to do with how he died (water, awareness, miscellaneous, falling)

All of this is from memory so im not sure if its accurate. Either way its fun to think about! If i remember correctly he fell/got thrown off (idr remember) a cliff into the ocean.

*water may also refer to relevent liquids in general

Cassian is afraid of being submerged in water. He may be uncomfortable depending on the amount of water hes in and how deep it is and stuff like that but being fully submerged is immediate panic. On bad days he tries to avoid water all together. (This becomes a problem to stay hydrated) A lot of the times, not being able to easily touch the bottom with his head still sticking out also causes panic. The exception is very good days and even then he struggles a lot. Baths are a no. He spends minimal time if hes in a place that could hold water, depending on how much it could hold and his mood. Ex. If hes having a shower on a bad day in a bathtub like in a hotel or smtg, he wouldnt spend a lot of time other then absolute nessecary to make sure hes clean. (This might just be me projecting how easy it is for me to overthink things.) If hes say, in a place that could flood like a flood prone basement and its raining, he would get the heck out immediately if theres nothing urgent to do there.

Oh! And other aspects other than just bodies of water. He wont drink salty drinks. The ocean and wave sounds make him antsy. He hates the smell and taste of super salty stuff, esp ones that remind him of the ocean. He stays away from edges near water. He gets extra cautious near cliffs. He tends to keep an eye out for possible vantage points for snipers. Hes overall more paranoid and vigilant.

Another thing is falling. Its an iffy thing where sometimes it doesnt affect him, sometimes he can barely stand losing his balance. Its quite random but for the most part hes fine. Like he could fall down the stairs and feel mentally completely fine but sometimes he'd stumble a bit and feel out of breath from a moment of panic/expecting something to go wrong. The first time it happened he just stood there shocked for a bit.

Alternatively: he would subconsciously pick and choose certain things he'd still do above, but he would unknowingly for a while ignore the rest even if he feels like he should do it. Ex. He might still feel breathless from tripping or avoid salty drinks, one bc its unnavoidable and another bc its a more obvious point of memory (subconscious things are also unavoidable mostly), but ignore any discomfort from edges and stuff and so not being as careful as he would if he acknowledged the discomfort. He doesnt even realise he does it at all for a while, it just sorta happens. (I am probably projecting here)

Ehm before i forget, suffocation is kinda similar to drowning right? (Not really but i think it works) so he positions himself in a way where nothing would be covering his breathing on bad days. (This is more like a 'dont forget this!!!' For me... i think itll be interesting to think about how certain habits and actions would change after and comparing suffocation to drowning, overall i think it might not have as big an impact as other lasting effects)

I want to talk about how like the attacks and seeing jeff die and other stuff may affect him but i havent even fully formed those thoughts yet.

Ugh i also want to talk about temperature and other stuff but i am tired now. So this is more like a to think about list!

[marshmellopie]

YOU THERE

Give me your spamton headcanons! Any kind!

loki i love you so much you don't know how much i've been wanting to share my headcanons oh my GOD [scans over my 20+ page headcanon doc]

putting it under the cut because it's a lot of random stuff, i didn't categorize anything so there might be whiplash between everything:

– Five feet tall, previously 5'10 when he was still an Addison. I made Puppet Spam was 4'5 for the longest time, but I decided to say fuck it and make him taller. Still short in terms of Cyber City residents though, I like to imagine normal Addisons are around 6ft.

– I sometimes forget to draw it and I can't really animate it consistently, but his knuckles are constantly bruised because he keeps punching things whenever he's angry. Experiences really severe temper tantrums/outbursts and usually resorts to violence.

– Do not touch his fucking hair if he doesn’t know you. He’ll legitimately plan your murder if you cut any of it off– and that’s not a hyperbole. He can’t grow it back and his hair is his pride and joy, so he will genuinely track you down and rip your goddamn soul out of your chest. It's also permanently black (besides the grey but that's from stress), he changed his coding when he was famous to have black hair. Could've been reversible, but some things kinda stuck after he fucked himself up and became a doll.

– Weird mixture of Addison and mannequin. Mysteriously fell incredibly ill with a virus that was destroying his coding after his phone went dead silent, and became desperate to the point of converting his remaining data into an inanimate object. Kind of like converting a PDF into a JPEG with the compressed quality and all. Kinda iffy with this one and not really canon-inspired, I swap between him gradually and suddenly turning into a puppet. Used to base it off the Acid Theory but I'm tryna be creative sjfkdsjf he did probably fall in/get pushed a few times but it didn't burn him to the point of no return, it definitely stung though

– Blurry vision in both eyes because he had the audacity to peek into the Shadow Crystal multiple times. Hacked his glasses to somewhat correct it, but it only works to a certain extent.

– Talks through a voice box. He really doesn't need to move his mouth at all to speak and has limited range of motion (he can't close his mouth all the way and has no tongue), but he tries to purely out of habit.

– gayest man in cyber city

– Eats basically anything. From spaghetti-code to cardboard, his body is kind of forced to digest all of it, but it obviously hurts him if it's not supposed to be eaten.

– Sometimes doesn't recognize his own reflection.

– Riddled with viruses for so long that he probably wouldn't ever be able to get rid of them. He could probably minimize them if he got treatment, but only to an extent. They're a permanent part of him now.

– His nose is simultaneously the strongest and weakest part of his body. Either pierces through metal or bends like a bendy straw depending on if you throw him or just lightly poke it.

– Terrifyingly amazing aim. Can throw a pipis at a specific target without much thought. His pipis explode.

– Calmed down a bit as the years went on (because he lost hope LMAO), which isn't saying much considering he's still extremely rabid. Was extremely volatile when he first decided to give up the good life and live in the dumpster. Frequently tried to break into the mansion, probably stole a few cars, mugged a few Plugboys, picked fights with other malware on the streets. He still continues to do these things, of course, but to a lesser degree.

– Spiteful cunt. Wrong him once and he'll never forget your name. Rarely apologizes even if he's in the wrong.

– Can't say names properly unless he's being completely serious.

– Upholds his end of most deals, but words himself carefully so that if what he has to bring to the table isn't up to par with what the other person asked of him (which is 99% of the time), he can easily swindle his way out of it. No refunds on the sword. It's broken? I told you that. Cut anything, two pieces. You heard me clearly, and you obviously had no qualms with it from what I could tell. (Except he'd say that in a really fucked up and more condescending way.)

– Constantly hears static, but it grows and fades depending on his mood.

– Laughs at the most inconvenient times. Someone's threatening him? He'll chuckle. He's nervous? A little giggle. He just received some devastating news? Roaring laughter.

– Very unreliable narrator and storyteller. Tends to exaggerate things that have happened to him (doesn't mean that he didn't go through some wild shit though).

– Doesn't celebrate his birthday, for obvious loneliness and conflicting self-resentment reasons. Also because he doesn't keep track of the time. He don't know what day it is fam.

– Can mimic voices really well, though he still retains that bitcrushed/noisy overlay and the ad pop-ups.

– Tends to chew on things occasionally as a nervous habit. He doesn't exactly have a tongue, so he instead picks up random small items scattered around (ie. a pencil) and chews on them. Worst case scenario he just grinds his teeth together.

– Gestures with his hands a lot when he speaks. It literally looks like he's going through an emote hotbar. Also very expressive when it comes to his face, despite rarely being able to frown properly. You can garner a lot about his mood from his glasses.

– Mostly bark over bite. Tends to make empty threats a lot when he's startled in hopes his loudness will be intimidating, but will indeed bite if he needs to… or wants to. Sometimes there’s no bark at all, and he’ll literally bite.

– Has a weird fascination with shiny objects. He steals many things that seem valuable or visually appealing and hoards them in his shop.

– Once you put the KEYGEN into NEO, it takes a little bit for him to actually take over the body because he's transferring his data onto it. Permanently. Even when he becomes small Spamton again, he's permanently linked to the machine now, so he can change into it at will. Technically not at will because he has trouble controlling it, but you get what I mean.

this was insanely long but thank you for letting me ramble <3

[thelonelyshore-if]

Is coy flirtation the only way to raise romance with the ROs or are we able to do so by raising their approval in general? Mainly asking because my current MC is a very pragmatic woman who wouldn't be the one immediately engaging in flirting because 1. She feels like she's going a bit crazy atm since she doesn't believe in supernatural stuff and is trying to deny everything 2. She's still absolutely confused as to where willow is.

So far I've been avoiding flirting options in favor of her being polite to strangers but slightly detached. Very tired.

I know sometimes people add in oblivious routes or ones where the mc is the more withdrawn one in the romance so I figured I'd ask. If there's not that's fine I just wanted to know my options! Thanks for your hard work.

Currently, the most direct way to raise romance is to flirt or to pick options that indicate interest. Though, to be honest, there aren't many of those at the moment!

Once chapter 2 rolls around there will be more opportunities for romance (especially considering that the MC is currently kind of Going Through It and also just met everyone), and those opportunities will be more varied.

Also, I think I'll use this ask as a bit of an opportunity to go into my plans for the romance system, because it's something I'm super excited to get into. Apologies in advance for the amount I'm about to write.

Explanation of planned systems beneath the cut <3

Currently I'm planning on using a system with three different parts.

The first part is interest, which is a base indicator that the MC is interested in a RO (or multiple ROs) romantically/sexually. These will be options that straight up say things like 'I think (RO) is cute'. Once interest is toggled on, the RO(s) are able to develop a crush and/or pursue the MC of their own accord. Interest being on will also activate certain flavor text.

The second part is flirting, which directly raises the romance variable. These are things like flirtatious dialogue, grabbing a RO's hand, acting flustered around them--that sort of thing. Actions that are observable by the other character(s). Flirting doesn't automatically turn on interest, but since it raises the romance stat it means that you can flirt with a character/choose romantic options throughout the game and, once interest is on, you can have built a bond.

I plan to have different flavors of flirting. At this point I think I'll mostly stick with the typical shy/direct options, though we'll see. I might get a little silly with it.

Finally, there's approval, which is your character's general relationship stat with each RO (as well as Willow and a few other npcs). Approval can be gained whenever the MC does something the character likes or generally builds the relationship. Tbh I'm a little iffy on sticking with 'approval' as the term, because I don't want to write characters who only like the MC if they agree with everything they do, but it's the only word coming to mind atm lol.

All this to say, I hope that with this system you can have characters like your MC, who are maybe a little more oblivious or withdrawn, who can mark interest in a RO and have the RO be more forward (raising the romance bar that way). Plus having more subtle 'flirt' options that also raise romance without being super direct flirting.

I'm so sorry to have taken your ask and run with it, but I hope this explains the vibes I'm going for a bit!! The system still needs to be actually implemented, so take it with the usual caveat that this is a WIP and these are just my current plans, but it's ideally what I'd like to do!

[salemcantupdate]

I’m sitting here, thinking about possible ships in Stardew Valley that don’t involve the farmer. I’ve seen quite a few. Of course there’s the canon stuff, aka the married couples and Marnie with Lewis. It’s also canon that Alex says he’s jealous if you get with Haley. Ignoring Clint and Emily because I’m sorry but that’s literally “nice guy creepy incel” getting the girl.

But! I don’t like most of the married couples AND I don’t like Marnie with Lewis. So I’m gonna go on a little exploration here.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot of Caroline and the Wizard. First of all I absolutely think that Abigail is the Wizard’s kid, but I also don’t think those two actually… like each other? I think it was more of a fling than anything. But low key? Part of me thinks the Wizard and Lewis could be kinda fun, I’ve also seen art of the Razzy with Marlon. Which would be fun! But I do think it’s really cute when Marlon says that Marnie is really pretty. It’s just precious to me.

But BUT, crazy thought

Willy and Razzy mic Dazzle???? HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT

Willy is a traveler! He fishes all over the place!!! He’s gotta have experience with sea monsters and weird magics, and imagine the Wizard requests some specific sea based spells or works with him to help find merpeople OR ensures the seas and skies are calm so that he can sail safely. DO YOU SEE MY VISION???

Cough, so— I’m thinking Willy with Razzmocious and Marnie breaking up with Lewis and Marlon slowly winning her over himself. Caroline though? Honestly don’t think she’s the happiest with Pierre, he’s pretty shit. Low key I like her with Jodi haha. Like Kent isn’t bad, not at all, I just don’t think Jodi loves him. But Caroline and Jodi feel a bit too obvious, so… hear me out… Caroline and Gunther. She regularly visits the library so— gah yeah that’s stupid. Caroline deserves someone who will just cuddle with her and Jodi needs someone who makes her feel alive again. They’ve got different needs. Kent also needs a lot of love and therapy, which I don’t think Jodi can provide. Ok, I’m gonna move on to an easier one I’m dying here.

Sam and Sebastian are so obvious, going insane here. 100% ship them. I’ve seen some people throw Abigail into the mix, but personally I’m not the biggest fan of that. Honestly? I’m kinda into Abigail and Haley—

OK LISTEENNNNN, listen. Abigail’s 14 heart scene… imagine if Haley was there instead of the farmer. It just fits so perfectly. Pretty girlfriend loving buff girlfriend. I THINK ITS CUTE OK LEAVE ME ALONE SOB SOB SOB

Speaking of the girls, I like Maru and Penny together a lot. I just see them around town together all the time and I think it’s super cute haha. Ah shoot, that reminds me of Robin. I do not like Demetrius, personally. Though I suppose there marriage seems to work. I wouldn’t break them apart.

Ok, now on to my hotter tea. Harvey and Shane. Harvey is just so sweet and so loving and so nice and caring and Shane has no experience with that and Harvey gets Shane access to a therapist dhkfhwkd— I think it’s cute. I think it would be really cute if they started hanging out and Shane realized how poorly Harvey ate and started scolding him like “You’re always scolding me but you eat like this?” And just keeps going as he cooks them both a meal and gruffly sets it out for Harvey and—

Sobbing

Ok my other somewhat hot take, Elliott and Alex. The reasoning here might be iffy, but I like the idea of Alex getting with a guy who broadens his range of what masculinity means. I think it would also be cute if Alex slowly gained a love for reading through Elliott. Plus I think Alex could be a magnificent muse given his past. It could be cute.

Oh and my final take is Morris and Pierre should hatefuck

…

ANYWAYS

But yeah, I don’t necessarily ship all these. Like, actively and actually ship them. I might one day, but right now I’m just sitting in my thought stew.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: Played by Naima Simone

4/5. 9/3/24.

Vibes: widower hero, hockey romance, "it's just a warm body", love after loss

Heat Index: 7/10

Still grieving the loss of her professional and personal partner, firefighter Adina can't resist opening the journal she finds after a fire at a hockey facility. The journal details the kind of loss she understands deeply--but when she brings it back to the owner, widower and star player Solomon, he's furious that she got a glimpse at his innermost feelings. But as he realizes that Adina understands where he's coming from better than anyone else, enmity gives way to bonding, which gives way to a fierce physical attraction... The question is, can either one risk falling in love again?

Oof. Played is a unique take on the hockey romance subgenre (and not only because Solomon is the only Black hockey hero I've read thus far, and the book doesn't shy away from how white the sport is). While the hockey is a part of it, the firefighting is no less so. It's about two people who genuinely love their jobs, but have also let themselves lose who they are in it because they can't face the reality of their new lives. It's about falling in love out of understanding and pretending that it's just physical. And it's about the inevitable messiness that comes with falling for someone after losing another.

This makes it sound super heavy--and I wouldn't say it totally is? Like, there's definitely some heavy stuff here, but overall the book is fun and sexy and dramatic. It just also takes the time to think deeply about its plot, and I appreciate that quite a bit.

Quick Takes:

--The thing I really enjoy about this book is that Adina and Solomon actually get each other from the jump, arguably before they even meet. However, they--especially Solomon--really fight that, which kind of makes it easier to pass it off as something physical. They don't act on the physical too quickly (though I wouldn't call this a slow burn either) but there's this conscious effort by both of them to sort of focus on that because the other option is... what? Being in love? Perish the thought!

--This is a single parent romance! Solomon is not only a widower, but the father of a young son. I'm very vocal about my iffiness re: kids in romance novels, but this one was done well in my opinion. First off, he actually reads like a child. Second, he's definitely a big part of Solomon's life, but a part of what the novel confronts is that Solomon has been leaning on his in-laws as coparents since his wife died (which is a super real thing, right?). This not only provides us with good plot and character stuff... it also ensures that we don't have too much of the kid on the page. I know, I'm mercenary, but it's smart writing!

Still, Solomon being this really loving but imperfect father so worked for me (and Adina). I loved the way he was presented as totally affectionate and vocally loving towards his son. So many books focus on like, this daddy's girl thing with single father heroes, and... I don't know. We need more depictions of fathers who kiss and cuddle and dote on their little boys, right?

--This novel actually tackles some hard stuff alongside the romance I'll give readers a heads up and say that while it doesn't venture into sexual assault territory, Adina does have to deal with some pretty serious sexual harassment at work. At points, I did think there was a LOT packed in here, but one thing I did appreciate was that there wasn't this pretty "tied with a bow" resolution to everything. There are some very human issues confronted here, and the resolutions felt like... very humanly in progress.

That said, I did kind of feel like the ending was a bit rushed (and I have my quibble with one aspect) and some trimming of those other aspects might have left us with more time for a smoother resolution.

--One of the things I appreciate about this book is how honest it is about falling in love after losing someone. Often, I think romance can be rather cruel to the dead spouse, as it were, and diminishes the relationship... which cheapens the central romance to me. Here, you see exactly how much both Solomon and Adina loved their lost partners. They didn't get to choose to end the relationships. They were cut off. Who knows what would have happened if their partners had lived, but that's the reality we're living with, right? And it doesn't lessen their love for their new partners at all.

The Sex:

Ooooh, it's good. There aren't too many full-length sex scenes in the novel, but those that you do get are very long, preceded by a lot of tension, and INTENSE. Solomon is super growly and aggressive, and Adina kind of gets to let her own naturally dominant side take a bit of a backseat when he's tossing her around. We love to see it.

Approaching tough topics with grace, Played is a hot, emotional book that remains a good time throughout, even when it gets deep. (And the book isn't the only one that gets deep heeeeey--.) Definitely a "hockey romance for people who don't like hockey romances... and also those that do" kind of novel.

Thanks to NetGalley and Montlake for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[fistacaffs]

!! LONG RANT ABT EEVEELUTION SQUAD !!

Came back to this comic after years of forgetting abt it and I have a lot on my mind after finishing it so long rant ahead LOL

It genuinely had something good during the first part of the comic (might be the nostalgia talking) but after the unnecessary plot points like with Cc and Solarflare's virus it felt so overwhelming especially the pages during Solarflare's dream stuff it was so full of dialogue only one panel had any illustrations at some point. I feel bad for complaining about this because I know EV was probably stressed out of their mind when making the comic and I understand it was from the pressure of the fandom but I just need to say more stuff regarding it (I don't blame EV for the writing, what's done is done and it was definitely some of the fans influence which made it rused)

The story was better of as a slice of life with a bit of action instead of having so much lore and plot that didn't make sense. The first few main chapters were good for it's time (even though some parts were iffy ex. Gai being a genuine creep) but after chapter 5 it started to go downhill. The Cc plot point was so unnecessary it felt she isekaied out of a fanfic and tried to Frankenstein her way into the story. I liked the idea of her character in a way but I feel like it would have been a whole lot better for her to have her own story instead of being forced into the ES plot. She seems more of a fanfic protagonist than a side character. For the Solarflare virus thing, it was also pretty weird, I wouldn't say unnecessary but it felt so out of place. With the vacation plot happening, the ship shenanigans between Speed, Lazuli, and Silvia, and the Cc plot, it just genuinely felt so tiring to read when it came to that part. The comic panels were filled so much unnecessary lore and plot to the point you can only see text bubbles, I wish it could have been saved for another time to develop Flare's character but instead it was plopped into an already complicated plot. I loved Fluffy but I feel like they were introduced far too early into the plot.

I wish they had the time to develop more of the characters, especially Leafy, I think the only reason why she's one of the more well liked characters from the comic is because she felt like a breath of fresh air from the other characters (ex. lore-heavy-Speed and angsty-Black, etc.), I wish we got to see more of her like the time she was sad because of her father or when she took the blame off from her friends, it made her feel like a character you could relate with. (But I'm glad we got what we got because I feel like she would have been badly written otherwise)

It might seem like I'm angry but I genuinely love this comic (even though it's badly paced and written lol) it's very sentimental to me, it was a great creative outlet for me to cling on to during my younger years and I'm very thankful for that 💞

[multiplicity-positivity]

hi uh i could use some advice :<

im a host of a recent system of 20-ish and guh i am t i r e d

im mainly looking for advice on how to switch or just retreat into the headspace/leave front or even just kinda stop being fully aware while still being in front for awhile bc id rlly like to take a break and the realization that im most likely front attracted/frontstuck is kinda making me more tired of being in front

also if it helps at all my(&) system is parogenic + traumagenic in origin (specifically parotraumagenic) and theres kinda iffy communication between members (some of them i have clear communication with and they randomly pop up to say stuff, some i have no idea where they are and some of them i can usually only hear when im directly interacting with them).

afaik (as far as i know) only three?? ppl have rlly "fronted" per se, and the rest have been co-con

i apologize for the long and mildly depressing ask but any help is appreciated also dont forget to hydrate

Hello! We have some posts that might help you that we’d like to share if that’s okay. The first is a post we wrote a while back with some tips on switching from our own experience:

We’d also like to share this post by @rin-and-jade on being frontstuck or frontlocked, and how to go about unsticking yourself!

Our own system host (Parker) is almost always fronting to some extent. It can certainly be exhausting and disheartening fronting nonstop, especially when other members of your system can seemingly come and go as they please. He’s going to put some info under a cut for how he copes with fronting constantly, in case you want some advice on coping with being genuinely unable to switch out!

We hope something here will be helpful for you! We’re wishing you the best of luck with switching out or at least learning how best to cope with fronting in your future!

(Host here - I’ll just write this bit if thats okay. Anyway here’s some stuff I do to deal with The Horrors of perpetual existence)

Meditation

Taking a few moments to sit in comfortable silence can be useful for me when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed or straight up exhausted. Here’s how I meditate (I’m no expert and I’m sure there’s better ways to do this… this is just what I do)

- get in a comfortable position in a quiet place where I’m not likely to be disturbed

- set a timer on my phone for 5 minutes

- close my eyes, focus on my breathing

- don’t dwell on any thoughts but also don’t push them away; acknowledge them and let them go

- try to stay still and calm until my timer goes off

And that’s it. Sometimes I get interrupted by an alter or something outside, but for the most part, this is how I’ve been able to meditate effectively.

Rest

I take naps whenever I can. I sit down whenever I can. I’ll literally just close my eyes for a few minutes whenever I can. Our body has issues with chronic fatigue, and fronting constantly can sometimes exacerbate our exhaustion. So yeah I am a huge fan of naps and will often set a timer for like 15-20 minutes and snooze whenever the opportunity arises. Even just lying down with closed eyes can help replenish some energy.

Distractions

Reading, watching something on TV, or playing video games can help give me somewhat of a break even if I’m still fronting. I do tend to try and keep us distracted as much as possible… sometimes to our own detriment. But if you find that you really aren’t ever able to switch out, or if your system is specutien and that’s just the way your system functions, finding things you enjoy that can serve as distractions may help you as well.

Saying No

This one’s tough, but I’m trying to learn to say no when I’m overwhelmed or have too much on my plate. This means sometimes I’ll cancel plans, hand off a responsibility, make a compromise, or turn down an opportunity if I don’t have the energy for it.

Honestly idk how much my addition can help you, but if you find that you’re not ever able to switch out at all please know there’s other folks out there in similar positions. Hoping you can make the most of your situation, anon /genuine

[pancake-breakfast]

At the behest of @sourcoatedsugar, I purchased Under the Air, a collection of short comics by the Father of Anime, Tezuka Osamu. I've kind of put off getting into Tezuka's stuff since I don't care much for the very cartoony style, but it seems the world is conspiring to make sure I don't brush him aside.

I loved Urasawa's Pluto manga, which was a retelling of one of Tezuka's plotlines from Astro Boy with a focus on a different character, and Tezuka frequently comes up whenever I happen to get into the history of animation (since he was heavily influenced by Fleisher Studios in general and Betty Boop in particular) and anime/manga (since he heavily influenced both genres). I have yet to manage to watch Dororo, but I'm enamored with the premise and the more recent adaptation is very high on my watch list. (Alas, it is locked behind the Amazon Prime paywall....)

To start, I'm kinda iffy on the translation of the title, though I don't want to be too critical because it's admittedly a difficult one to translate. Anyone who's studied the Japanese language has probably heard that it's a language of inferences. What this means (in part) is since Japanese has a VERY limited sound palette for a language, it has fewer word options than a lot of languages, and so it has both a lot of homophones (words that sound similar) and a lot of concepts that are conveyed via implication rather than specific words.

(English, on the other hand, is a very specific language with a very broad sound palette, and has specific words for almost everything.)

Anyway, the Japanese characters for the title are 空気の底 (kuuki no soko), which I'd literally translate more as "The Bottom of the Atmosphere." The problem with "under" is it implies something is located there or happening there while "the bottom of" just implies we're talking about a stratus of the atmosphere. The Japanese lacks the particle に (or maybe で) needed to suggest this is a location where things are happening.

But of course, "The Bottom of the Atmosphere" sounds odd in English. I guess if one wanted to go more poetic, they could go with something like, "Deep Air." But neither of those capture the meaning of the Japanese, since "The Bottom of the Atmosphere" is only one way it can be read. It can also be read as something like "Base Situations" or "The Kind of People Who Aren't Worth Notice."

If I were to guess, there's some layer of Buddhism influence in here that I'm missing, as well, that might be referring more specifically to the situations of the more "lowly" types of humans as separate from those of the enlightened. But I know very little about Buddhism.

So maybe a more accurate-to-the-spirit translation would be something like, "Worldly Things," as in English/Western-Christian culture, this can simply mean "stuff that takes place in the world around us" or it can mean "things that lack the enlightenment of heaven."

From a (very) quick skim and an actual reading of the first of the stories, that duality seems to capture more of the essence of the tales. And I think it would probably also be justified by the quote at the beginning of the book:

The water at the bottom of a fishbowl does not circulate. It grows murky with leftover food, droppings, and dirt. Perhaps our world is riddled with crime and tragedy in much the same way, buried under the vast air of the sky above. Do any of us not, during the fleeting spans of our lifetime, seek peace found in those clear skies, even if just for a bit?

Anyway, looking forward to getting into this further. It wouldn't be the first time good stories have trumped my qualms about an art style that's not quite too my taste.

[shadowmaat]

Uhh... No?

There are a lot of cozy-type fantasy books out these days. I enjoy low-stakes stuff, and recently I've been indulging in a lot of "murder mystery with magic" stories. There's a bit of a sameness to them, but that's kinda baked into the mystery genre and isn't actually a problem. If anything, it's a comfort because you know how things are going to go. Usually.

I picked up a freebie book for my kobo. This one slotted into the "magic is a secret" vein of urban fantasy, so the witch in question is in the closet, so to speak. It was a mostly standard set-up; the witch's best friend dies in Mysterious Circumstances and the witch is the prime suspect because the sheriff has always been suspicious of her. Naturally the witch is going to work to clear her name and find the real killer.

As bog-standard as that premise is, it still felt a bit... off? Or at least not aligning the way I expected. I figured it was a me-thing and kept reading. If the witch's motives seemed more selfish than altruistic, well, maybe I was just reading it wrong.

One of the powers the witch has it to be able to touch someone and glean some surface impressions. She used that ability on the sheriff to get an idea of what was "wrong" about her friend's death, and she used it again on a reporter to get the name of her friend's former workplace. The first one I could understand since the sheriff is hostile and suspicious, but the second one I wondered why she didn't simply ask. It wasn't as if it was any kind of secret, and it's probably something she could have learned for herself with a bit of digging, but shortcut, I guess.

I was willing to go along with it until the victim's mother showed up, mentioning that an autopsy was going to be performed later that afternoon (this being four days after the actual murder). By this point results had come back on the "health tonic" (potion) that the witch had given her BFF; the one that had been found clutched in her poor, dead hand. The results showed it to be nontoxic and not the cause of death. This means the witch was no longer a suspect. Not that it was going to slow down her investigation. It never does in these kind of mysteries, although usually it's because the protag wants the killer brought to justice.

I guess technically that was the case here as well, but the way the author chose to handle/word things made it feel more... selfish. Sure, the protag wanted to find the killer, but she was also determined to learn all the secrets her friend had been keeping from her. Which, sure, would probably help her find the killer, but it just felt off. I think part of the problem I was having at that point was that most of what I'd seen the protag doing was very... self-serving? In addition to gleaning stuff from unsuspecting people, she'd also given another person a spelled cup of cocoa to make her more willing to discuss things she otherwise might not mention. Which, again, felt like something she could have accomplished just by talking.

The feel of the book was getting weirder. The protag had no qualms about the things she was doing, and maybe if it had stayed at that level of "iffy but not outright objectionable" I could have shrugged it off. Except then it crossed an unforgivable line.

Autopsies are important. They can give us a lot of information about how a person died. They may not be perfect, but they set a good baseline and are important in murder cases. Our protag, unfortunately, decided that an autopsy wasn't good enough and that she needed access to the body herself in order to glean whatever handwavy magic stuff could tell her about how and why her friend had died. And she had to do this before the coroner got a chance to examine the body.

She calls up the receptionist at the coroner's office, uses magic to determine the poor woman's "secret desire," and then uses that to put a whammy on her, giving her the irresistible urge to leave work without notice and rush off to fulfill that urge (in this case it was ice cream from the rival town miles away).

That's when I stopped reading and deleted the book off my kobo. Not just because she hexed an unsuspecting and unwilling innocent, but because that was her default method. She didn't hesitate, didn't question if this was really an ethical use of magic, and didn't try anything more mundane to get past the receptionist. She full-on altered a woman's mind to get the result she wanted. What the everloving fuck were you thinking, author?

So yeah. There aren't many hard and fast rules regarding the use of magic in fiction, but I'm pretty sure "do no harm" is the biggest one. Unless you're the bad guy.

[sergeantnarwhalwrites]

Saz and Elliot Big Post

Here's some Saz and Elliot stuff. I'm still fucking around with this. And I'm still iffy about this scene with Saz and Elliot. Been rewriting this off and on and am playing a dangerous game of using what I've written in my notebook as guidelines and not a draft XD. Let's go Fucked at Five. Note also I really like fucking around with the narration.

Tag list: @outpost51 @nanashi23 @winterandwords @jezifster @kk7-rbs @aether-wasteland-s @dumbthunder @manathen @the-void-writes @liv-is (Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist!) 

Elliot looked up at the bear morpher. Close enough to rest face first in Saz's chest. Careful to not hit her with the one antler staying strong. The other sadly tossed after the exhaustion of being taunted by the much larger deer morpher, Ian, for having it secured with tape. Keeping his face hidden in her hoodie he raised his arms to Saz's face.

"I gotta tell you how this is gonna work." Elliot squished Saz's face uncaring of the minor resistance, "So I gotta get a standing of how well you can handle yourself in a fight. And that's a perfect time to work on your morphing."

"So you're gonna beat on me? Wow. I know I'm sturdy but there's gotta be a better way." Saz rested her hand on top of Elliot's head mirth in her tone not yet bothering to push him off just yet.

"Love the enthusiasm." Elliot grinned against the fabric, joy flowing off of his sarcasm, "You basically joined a war effort. So you have to get used to it."

Saz starred off for a moment. Yeah she had done wrestling back when she was "human". But the bear morpher was conflicted. Fairly so. She shifted the focus back, with a suck of the teeth.

"How's fighting you supposed to help with my morphing?"

Elliot finally pulled away from her. Hair frazzled from the movement.

"A lot of people first morph in high stress situations. You know. Anger and fear can play a big part too." The deer morpher flinched a little catching onto the quick souring of Saz's mood, "Your's was a... Bit unnatural. But you should still be—"

Saz rolled her eyes, her closed fist hitting her chest, "I was drugged. Say it how it is. I was drugged with some mystery pill and I—"

The bear morpher sucked in a harsh breath and released it shakily. Interrupting herself. There was no need to recount what happened. She was drugged, she morphed for the first time ever, got tranqued, and almost killed. Almost? Her teeth sank into the throat of and her claws has to puncture some organs. There was so much blood. She could almsot remember how violently she reacted to the taste when she had returned to her human form.

The bear morpher squeezed her eyes shut now clasping her hands together. She grit her teeth, squeezing her hands together as tight as she could.

The deer morpher moved in cautiously. He knew how easily he could make the situation worse.

"Saz."

Saz opened an eye looking down at Elliot.

"If it makes you feel any better the way I'm gonna piss you off will definitely replace all that other stuff." Elliot tried, offering what might just be true.

The bear morpher opened her other eye. A small snicker slipped past.

"Don't you already do that?"

Elliot laughed, "Glad you're feeling better asshole."

Saz hummed shortly, "I don't. Not really. But I'd rather not spiral in front of you."

Elliot huffed at that one, "We'll have to talk this out eventually. Especially if that's what's in the way of you morphing."

Saz slowly sat. Her arms outstretched behind her. Focusing on the subtle pull in her shoulders.

"Thought you said it was a stress response."

"And I said when you first morph, usually."

"So there's exceptions?"

"There's always exceptions."

Deer and bear stared at each other blankly. Bear sighed exasperated.

"So it's complicated and not set in stone. So what makes you so sure fighting is the way?"

"Two birds one stone Saz. You're more than welcome to find someone else. I'm not the best with this stuff." Elliot stated honestly.

"You're very lucky you're my best friend." Saz said unamused.

Elliot shot up a double thumbs up, "Get up. Guard up."

Saz groaned and stood. Arm in front of her face and an arm tucked in at her side. She grunted out a soft ready.

Elliot rolled his head around his neck. Already used to the uneven distribution of weight jutting out of his skull. He moved in quickly throwing a couple of punches to test Saz's block. Noting that it was solid but had a lot of gaps.

His fist lodged itself into her side. She staggered in the direction of his follow through. Grunting when his fist met her jaw. She hissed at the pain turning her back to him when she saw another punch coming.

He grinned a little glad to see he faked her out and went for the back of her knees sure she'd crumple. Saz stood strong, maybe a small shake in her next step. That wasn't important. She grinned this time. Turning around to face him, tackling him to the ground.

He briefly panicked. Laughing involuntarily when he felt Saz's hand cradle the back of his head. Sure to not let his skull hit the ground without some sort of cushion.

She moved quickly, sitting on his stomach. Elliot's laughs came out on wheezes. Gasping when her hand clasped his face. A pleased hum slipped past Saz's lips.

"Again."

Elliot's remaining antler broke off. Saz moved off of him and hoped he wouldn't notice. Or wasn't as attached. Prepping for the next match.