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ohsc · 4 months ago

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₊˚⊹♡ mean | sam winchester x reader

requested - heyy could u make a sam x reader thing where he fucks rlly roughly but he’s really sweet during aftercare bc the idea that sam is rough during but sweet after makes me weak in the knees🫠🙏 (anon)

a/n - this is. probably the most filthy thing i’ve written. it’s just filthy smut. with a hint of sweetheart sam at the end. i need him so bad it’s not funny. still working on my longer plot fics but i wanted to get this out today to get back into writing!! hopefully you enjoy :) would very much appreciate feedback! <3

cws - fem!reader, 2.4k, nsfw 18+, meandom!sam turned soft!sam, oral f!recieving, praise, very mild choking, condescending words, p in v, mild overstimulation, tears, aftercare, fluff

other fics can be found on my masterlist

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

She was convinced that Sam’s mouth was a whole new kind of heaven.

He’d already made her cum once with his mouth alone, large hands pressed into the plush of her thighs to keep them spread, her hips stilled, which were twitching with every sweep of his tongue. He was skilled, drawing the pleasure out of her like it was nothing. Sam had easily spent fifteen minutes down there, eating her out like a starved man, like it was all he wanted.

And she didn’t know how she was still breathing. There was a relief that ran through her that Dean and Castiel weren’t in the bunker that night, because even though they were shut away in the privacy of their room, she was sure that she would’ve been heard. Sam had been pulling noises out of her all night, obscene lewd sounds that she would’ve been embarrassed about being heard if it wasn’t Sam with her.

He always made sure that as much as he made her feel, none of it was embarrassment.

His tongue flattened against her, licking a stripe up between her folds until he pressed against her clit and she shuddered, a horribly whiny sound pushed from her lungs when he closed his lips around the bead and sucked, like he was trying to pull the life out of her. Her hips jolted, unable to go anywhere as he had her pinned down, and she was practically seeing stars as Sam worked down there. She wondered if he was even breathing.

“Sam- oh my god—” She whimpered, hissed in a breath when he licked back down to her entrance and his nose nudged against her clit, stomach clenching as she reached her hands down to grasp onto his hair, fingers curled into the soft strands.

And then he pulled away.

His hands left her thighs as his mouth left her, but she didn’t have time to whine her complaints at the loss of sensation as his long fingers curled around her wrists, yanked her hands out of his hair. “What did I say, huh?” The tone of voice made her pussy clench around nothing. “Hands to yourself. You’re pretty bad at listening, baby.”

Sam shifted over her, his face over hers as he pushed her wrists down onto the pillows above her head, and she almost squirmed when she saw the look in his eyes, the way his lips were wet with her.

“Are you listening?” He squeezed her wrists as a reminder, and her eyes quickly flickered back up to his eyes. “Do I need to tie you up, or will you keep these here for me?” She knew he wouldn’t hesitate to do it. Sam could be such a soft lover — he’d kiss every inch of her skin, whisper praises and compliments, tell her he loved her a thousand times as he made love to her. But he could also be like this, mean and demanding as he fucked her silly over and over. She wasn’t sure which she liked more.

“I’ll keep them there.” She breathed out, her voice still a little too whiny. He’d gotten her so close to cumming again, the lack of stimulation was driving her crazy, her cunt throbbed as she stared up at him.

“Oh yeah?” Sam narrowed his eyes like he didn’t believe her, and let go of one of her wrists to take both into one of his large hands. Her eyes left his face to follow his second as it dipped down between them, fingering at the waistband of his boxers, until she heard a sharp, “eyes on me.”

Her gaze quickly flickered back up to his face. “See? You can be good sometimes, can’t you?” Sam cooed, boardering on condescending, as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her mouth, allowing her to taste herself. “You just need some reminding, don’t you, sweetheart? Get so lost in that pretty little head of yours when I’m making you feel so good.”

She’d been so distracted by watching his face, head spinning with his words, that she didn’t realise that he’d freed himself from his boxers until she felt the head of his cock nudging between her folds, gliding easily against her with the slick and spit collected there, and she mewled at the feeling, eyes squeezed shut as he nudged at her clit.

“Eyes open,” his hands left her wrists — which she knew now to keep still — and his fingers splayed across her jaw, squeezing unkindly until she looked up again. “Don’t make me tell you again. You wanna be good for me, don’t you?”

She nodded dumbly, sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth as he rubbed her clit with his cock. Teasing her. “Mhm, I will.”

“You will?” Sam gave her jaw one more squeeze, just for good measure, before he wrapped his fingers around the bare skin of her throat. He didn’t squeeze, didn’t put any pressure, just held her, but the threat was there. The head of his cock rested up against her slickened entrance as his head dipped down, lips brushed her ear as he whispered, “what’s your colour?”

They had a pretty rigid safe word system set out — it was something he went over with her every time they had sex, especially like this, when he was mean and grabby and knew that she wouldn’t like it every time. If she so much whispered the word red he’d be up and off of her before she could blink.

But all that left her words was a whiny, “Green, please Sammy.”

She felt his lips curve up against her ear as he smirked. “Good girl.”

Without warning he pushed into her and she sucked in a sharp breath, her own fingers grabbed at each other in an attempt to keep her hands still, and she shoved a breath out of her throat. He’d worked her open with his fingers when he’d been settled down between her legs, but she still felt the stretch, the burn as he settled his cock deep inside of her, and for a moment she had to remember to breathe back in.

“Fuck honey,” he grunted in her ear, fingers gripped her throat just slightly tighter, still only enough for her to feel pressure. “So tight for me, baby. Can barely take it, huh?”

He pulled back before he rutted back inside and she whimpered, squeezing her own fingers together so tightly so she didn’t break his rule. Needing to hold onto him somehow, though, her thighs clamped harshly around his hips, already trembly from the first orgasm he’d pulled from her.

He thrust in again, and again, and again, and soon she saw stars, gasping and whimpering with every drag of his cock against her gummy walls, pleasure rippling through her in waves that made her stomach clench, her cunt clamped down so tightly around him it was a wonder he could move at all.

“So noisy baby,” he crooned on a particular harsh thrust that made her whine, fingers a little tighter around her throat. “Can’t help yourself, can you?” He huffed with another thrust. “Need me to do all the work, hm? Greedy—” he grunted, “greedy girl.”

It took an embarrassingly short time for her to get close again. Sam was fucking her with determination, grunted every time he pushed himself back in, the head of his cock nudged the soft spongey spot inside of her that made her shudder again and again and again until she was a mess beneath him, lewd wet sounds accompanying her whimpers with each shift of his hips, her pussy fluttering around the stretch of his girth.

He didn’t slow down, didn’t ease up, didn’t give her a breather. She was close to tears by the time she was almost there, already sensitive from her first orgasm.

She clenched around him and his fingers, in turn, tightened on the sides of her throat. She trusted him, she knew he wouldn’t push it too far. Just enough for her to feel a little dizzy, for the bliss to wash over her like a high.

“Sam- mm- Sammy—” She was practically blabbering as her eyes filled with tears, gasping with each thrust, each smack of his hips against hers.

“Oh honey,” he cooed, condescending, mean. “Too much, hm? Need something?”

His hand loosened on her throat and she inhaled a little shakily.

“Please—” she whined, blinking through tears up at him. She didn’t miss the flicker in his eyes as the tears dribbled down her cheeks, but she knew that he knew she’d tell him if it was too much. It had happened before, neither of them messed around when it came to their safe words.

“Please what, huh?” He thrust in harshly and she groaned, cunt fluttering, so close— “Ah-ah, not yet. Don’t you need to ask me something, dolly?” He squeezed her throat once. “You remember what happens if you cum without asking, don’t you?”

Of course she did. The week prior she’d cum too soon, and he spent the next what felt like hours edging her, too skilled with his fingers, words too filthy that they made her head spin. He’d made such a mess of her that she hadn’t been able to even get up off of the bed for a little while after he finally let her cum.

“Mhm, mm, yeah—” she inhaled shakily, whining, thighs clamped tighter around his hips. “Please- please can I- please let me—” she groaned.

“Let you what?” He was dragging it out, the fucker, grunting into her ear as he leaned down over her, pushed his cock so deep her vision almost whitened out. “Tell me, honey. Use those words for me, c’mon.”

The tears were bubbling over faster, rolling down her flushed cheeks. “Let me cum, baby, please.”

“Asking so nicely,” he grunted, pressed a kiss to the shell of her ear. “How can I say no to something so pretty, hm? ‘Course you can, baby, go ahead.”

It wasn’t his words that did it for her, but the hand that snuck between them and pressed down on her stomach, the press of his cock suddenly so much more delicious that she almost fucking fainted.

She came with a breathless whine, hips jerked as she finally gasped a breath and whined again, her cunt throbbed around his cock as he kept pumping, rode her through it entirely. Her head tipped back, his mouth on her neck as her eyes squeezed shut, colours danced on the inside of her eyelids, her own little fireworks display.

Sam came shortly after, groaned into her ear in a way that almost made her cum again, and he rutted into her a few more times before he stopped, warmth spreading through her as he panted against her shoulder.

“Fuck,” he huffed, his own chest heaved, brushing against her bare skin. “Oh sweetheart.” The shift in his demeanour was palpable, soft kisses immediately littered across her shoulder and collarbone, palms flattened to smooth over her sweat-dampened skin. He could be so mean in the moment, so dominating and controlling that he left her a fucking mess underneath him, but afterwards? He’d probably feed her grapes and fan her if she asked him to.

She was still gasping for breath, head spinning, and when she knew she wouldn’t be told off for it her hands lifted, immediately clung to his warm shoulders. She loved the way his shoulders felt underneath her touch, muscles rippling with every movement.

Sam kissed up her throat and jaw before he landed on her mouth, and he kissed her slowly, huffed breaths into each other's mouths as he licked between her lips, sweeped behind her top teeth, their lips both wet with spit.

By the time he had pulled away, he’d so thoroughly kissed her that she almost had her breath back.

“You okay?” His voice was so soft it was like there was an entirely different person on top of her compared to five minutes prior. His hand left her throat, smoothed upwards and cupped her jaw. She felt him thumb away tears that had fallen, some clung to her eyelashes, somewhat cool against her hot and flushed skin.

She nodded as she stroked her fingertips along his shoulders with her fingertips, like she’d committed him to memory. She had.

“Hey,” he lightly tapped her cheekbone with his thumb. “Need words, honey.”

She couldn’t help her smile. He was so caring she sometimes wanted to cry. “M’okay,” she whispered, voice soft like she’d shared a secret. “Really good. You’re so good, Sammy.” She praised, tilted her head to kiss his wrist, and he smiled and blushed like he hadn’t just been the one to fuck the life out of her.

“Says you,” Sam leaned down and kissed her forehead. “You’re perfect. Love you,” another kiss. “Love you so much.”

She smiled so much her cheeks hurt. “Love you too.”

Sam smiled too, that soft smile that made his dimples peek out, eyes crinkled at the corners, and he stroked her cheekbone again. “M’gonna pull out, okay?”

Only when she nodded did he shift, slowly pulled his hips back until she was empty, until all she could feel was the wetness coated between her thighs.

“Christ, made a mess of you,” he murmured, not in the condescending tone from before, instead something closer to admiration. “You’re so pretty when you cum, y’know that?”

She blushed, hard, and shrugged as her cheek dipped to meet her shoulder.

Sam laughed, rolled his eyes as he leaned in and kissed her again. “Don’t get all shy on me now.”

She was still blushing when he helped her sit up, fingers delicately curled around her elbows to pull her upright, her back also damp with sweat. They’d need to change the sheets.

“Two options,” Sam murmured as he gently stroked hair away that was stuck to her forehead, baby hairs that clung to her temples. “We take a shower and let me wash your hair and then go get food, or you let me run you a bath and you wait there looking all pretty for me while I get you something we can eat in there so I can dote on you.”

“You just wanna wash my hair huh?”

Sam smiled. “Guilty.”

Her fingers found his, intertwined with a squeeze. “Bath sounds nice,” she eventually settled on. “As long as you don’t take too long in the kitchen. I’ll miss you.”

He was laughing when he pressed another kiss to her mouth. “Of course. Promise to not take too long, okay?”

She giggled and nodded, smiled against his mouth when he kissed her again. “Okay.”

#sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester x y/n #sam winchester x you #sam winchester fluff #sam winchester smut #sam winchester imagine #sam winchester drabble #sam winchester oneshot #sam winchester fic #sam winchester fanfiction #spn #spn x reader #spn one shot #supernatural #supernatural x reader #supernatural one shot

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troublesh00terfaery · 5 months ago

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BELOW 18 PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT. THIS WORK IS NSFW! KEEP OUT! [THIS WORK IS PURELY FICTION]

[Alhaitham x AFAB! Reader]

Words: 3,003 Synopsis: In the heart of Sumeru, thrives the peaceful and unique kingdom to which governed by the monarchy. A young prince experiences a strange succession of dreams to which a mysterious woman comforts him. Wouldn't it be delightful to make this dreams into a reality? Tags: AFAB! Reader, slight teasing, Prince! Alhaitham x Goddess Reader. Pronouns for AFAB reader are she/her. Alhaitham slightly obsessed with you. So far, this will be main tags, more will be added on the following chapters. A/N: after a year of not posting, I AM BACK! AND YES, WITH MORE WORKS. I PROMISE I PROMISE! This idea has been in my head for quite sometime and I personally think you guys will be enjoying this. Should I make a series for the Sumeru men? Prolly. ALSO I DID NOT PROOFREAD THIS SO APOLOGIES, ENGLISH ISN'T MY FIRST LANGUAGE. -Circe,xoxo. <3

FOLLOWING, REBLOGGING, INTERACTIONS, AND FEEDBACKS ARE APPRECIATED

"My Lord, the scrolls have arrived." One of the scribes of the King arrived, offer him a handful of nicely kept scrolls.

For the past three months, Alhaitham has kept himself confined by the study. The setting filled with scrolls of knowledges, as if he tried to absorb every detail he was trying to comprehend. He only replied with a nod and took the scrolls and placed it by the table.

Alhaitham was the only son in line to the throne and he was no ordinary prince. With his knowledge and skill, the other neighbouring nations spoke of him warmly, although setting aside his stoic and rather cold demeanour upon interacting.

The past three months, a mysterious woman had appeared in his dreams in successions. Seemingly telling an ode to him but he couldn't remember what it was, only her beautiful face could he remember. Drapped in white linen and surrounded by padisarah flowers, she would comfort him in his serene dreams to only wake up with scrolls beside him and a cold cup of tea.

It haunted him, every move he made and every thought he had, it followed and haunted him. At times he could not sleep and tried his best to decipher what was it about. He would find himself drawing pictures of this mysterious woman to only ruin it, frustrated and convinced himself that it didn't look like her nor it was not her. Questioning his ability for artistic work he had learned.

At first, he was rather indifferent. It didn't bother him about this mysterious yet ethereal looking woman to appear in his dreams once in a while but as it went on oftenly, this somehow awakened something in him. His curiousity has took over him, trying to look for answers. He was not a man of spirituality but as the dreams went on, he had to summon a spiritual leader to interpret his dreams which he rather finds ridiculous. He was afterall, programmed with knowledge, rational, and logical thinking and approach.

But it did not help him at all, his curiosity grew and grew for this woman in his dreams. At some point, he would forcefully make himself fall asleep to see her again and promised to ever probe her, but her could not dream of her. Thus, he concluded that she would only appear in his dreams when it's: 1) it's night, and 2) when he doesn't force himself to fall asleep.

He wasn't a believer of such. In fact, as the dreams came in successions, he was concluding that he was either sick in the head or he lacked sleep. Given in his work focused nature, he deduct the idea that we was just lacking sleep but somehow, it made him rather stuck in a same routine where he longed for this mysterious woman in his dreams. Who was this woman? What did she mean? Was she real? What is she even?

Of course you were real, in fact, appearing in his dreams was not coincidence. You were indeed a living being, but not an ordinary one. Hindered from the advancement of Sumeru, lies your monastery filled with padisarahs and gold entombed monuments you refuse to leave for it is a sanctuary you have cultivated. It is true to what they say, the Sumeru has still secrets to be revealed, and you were one of the secrets yet to be come upon.

The dreams the prince set genesis when he stumbled upon an old scroll he found during the expedition a month prior his dreams. It was a shabby ancient scroll he found in a mausoleum to expand their territories in the vast lands of the sands. This way, they could keep a hold of the expanding group of eremites and their illegal trading and activities, as per the orders of the king himself to his only successor to the throne.

At first, he didn't pay much attention to the scroll as according to Alhaitham, it wasn't something he nor scribes comprehend. Although a shaman suggested this could be an ancient text telling a story of a goddess who secluded herself from the world. To his prior knowledge, Alhaitham considered the idea rather off. He digressed the notion of a goddess secluding herself from the world. Why would this goddess even seclude herself?

"Are you certain of this?" he asked the shaman, as if questioning the capabilities of the elder.

"That is for you to find out, your highness." the shaman replied.

Ridiculous. Alhaitham thought. He has never heard the tales of this mysterious divine being, nor was taught to him.

Unbeknownst to him, this would eventually trigger a response from you. You could hear his curiosity from a radius away and found it rather amusing. It didn't bother you that nobody prayed for you nor called out for refuge in your arms but this man has had you delighted. Is this an acknowledgment from a being the gods were referring to?

His growing curiosity was getting louder that you had to appear in his dreams. It was mere simple dreams, you appearing and observing him from a far, to showing him your small abode, to entertaining him by playing an instrument as he watched from a close distant.

And it got to the point that you teased the poor scribe by planting a small kiss on his lips. Upon breaking the kiss, he could only stare at you with feverish desire. His colorful eyes looking answers as you cupped his cheeks and feel his strong jaws clenching, urging himself to stop. He returned the favor by brushing his thumb to your luscious and plump lips, grazing his nose bridge by your supple cheeks and leaving kisses and hushed breaths. His palms making its way to your waist, as if trying to remember every detail he could remember. You let him, of course. Everything was new to you, the feeling of intimacy and the warmth of his touch would surge an unexplainable excitement to you. Something you lacked for years and something you, unexpectedly, found a need.

"Please, tell me who you really are and I would search for you in every nation." he begged, his head resting by your shoulder, seeking for both solace and answers as he left kisses over your exposed collar and neck.

You could only reply with a soft chuckle and cup his cheek and pecked a kiss on his cheek. It's a never ending question left unanswered. It was a cue to stop the dream and awaken him from his slumber. A kiss that would blur his vision and awaken him from his dream.

Even if it was only a dream in his point of view, he was still in your domain. Everything was real and it was beyond scientific explanation to prove that every time he was dreaming, everything was happening was happening in your domain. But could he really comprehend and figure out it was the goddess he denied of existence?

"Your grace, your father has called for you." a scribe entered his study, to find Alhaitham lazily looking by the painted ceiling. Seemingly awoken by the morning breeze of the open space of his chambers. The smell of incense from last night was freshly burnt out and the hues of the sunlight passing through the long curtains.

He tilted his head and responded with a nod. Few moments has passed, the prince presented himself to the king. Surprisingly, the king thought it would have been another day to nag the prince to get out of his chambers but there he was, walking towards the king in his seat.

"Father," he greeted.

"Ah yes, son." he spoke, delighted with the presence. Alongside the king was their pet, a Rishbolan tiger, Jihan, to which Alhaitham smiled as the big feline nudged its head to his legs before positioning itself beside Alhaitham.

"How was your night?"

Alhaitham could only remember your face and your soft chuckle. It took a moment before he could respond in his usual laidback demeanor.

"Nothing special." he replied. "You called?"

The king wasn't new to his straightforwardness and thus explained to him. A mysterious woman was spotted near the Vissudha expansion. The king explained to him that the guards spotted the woman just a few meters away from the construction the king has started two years ago. The woman was reported to be rather composed, explaining as to why she freely roamed the ungoing site. The site itself was dangerous, filled with wild beasts and noxious florals thus the only personnel allowed within the Vissudha expansion were architects and members of the royal committee.

"Oh." Alhaitham nodded to his father's story.

"The guards and the look outs commented on her knowledge with the terrains around Sumeru." the king replied. "So they brought her here."

"She's rather adventurous for exploring the area." Alhaitham circled the study table of his father before he comfortably sat by the sofa.

"Dare I must say, but her extensive knowledge with the sands is quite admirable."

"Oh?"

"Yes, in fact, I had spoken a few words with the young woman." The king chuckled, amused. "She's quite brilliant, suggesting a further expansion by the sands. Especially the mausoleums!"

Alhaitham could only respond with a hum. Seems like the women in Sumeru are rather peculiar for roaming carelessly, he thought.

"If I can guess, she's at your age or probably younger. Must have come from a noble family, and archons, her beauty is otherwordly!"

At his age, Alhaitham isn't new to his father's suggestion of him marrying. He was at the age, it is just that his son didn't pay attention and put the importance of it at this moment. He knows it so well that his father would insist upon meeting this woman and thus readied himself by rejecting his father's notion.

"You should meet her."

"No," he replied. "I have scrolls to keep and manage, father." he stood up, Jihad yawned from his action, causing for the feline to stand up and flex its body before nudging and circled the prince. "Jihad…"

The feline responded with succession of chuffs.

"No, no, guards please escort the young lady." the king hurriedly instructed, halting the young prince from walking away. The young prince heaved a sigh, and sat back by the wide sofa once again. This time, Jihad had placed himself by his lap and offed himself to his usual sleep.

The king himself was delighted to see the prince not walking away thus, became slowly impatient to introduce this lady and a few moments has passed, the guards themselves arrived by the king's chambers. Accompanying this said lady to meet the prince.

Each tick of the time, Alhaitham grew impatient with the little meet and greet. He angled his face to towards the curtains, he rubbed his forehead using his middle finger and his index finger whilst his thumb rested on the temple of his forehead. His other hand rested by the felines body to which Jihad appreciated by chuffing.

This was a waste of time, according to Alhaitham. He wasn't aware his father was a matchmaker, so eager to get his only son to be wed. The thought of being married has Alhaitham furrowing his brows.

"Ah, Alhaitham, come meet the young lady." The king softly spoke. Alhaitham could hear his positive remarks to this young lady to which she replied in small and shy chuckles. If he was to judge her, he would find her peculiar and mindless for roaming the area alone. Who on earth would walk alone confidently in an area yet to be finished with construction and still to be tamed?

"Father, I do not have time for this discussion you are initiating--"

"It is an honor, to finally meet the prince." the young lady spoke.

He took a peek from his fingers to have a view of the lady just a few meters away from him. And there she stood, wearing a simple white clothing and a scarf that was loosely wrapped around her hair, a few loose strands of her hair swayed by the wind.

Eyes matching the gaze of the royal prince, a small smile forming in your lips. Upon having a clear view of you, Alhaitham realized what was in front of him. Dumbfounded and speechless, he slowly stood up and awoken the tiger that comfortably laid himself by his lap. Jihad yawned and chuffed, excusing himself by jumping just below the luxurious sofa.

All he could do was to stand there and thought to himself this must be an illusion, or one of his dreams. Silence enveloped the study of the king as he observed you gaze at him with those beautiful yet studious eyes. It's like he couldn't decipher if it was truly you in his dreams or a different person.

There you were, standing in your corporeal form but nothing changed, only the clothing of choice. Ever so radiant, ever so ethereal. The prince couldn't utter any words as he was dumbfounded by the person in front of him. Was his head playing tricks with him? Probably the light? With every inhale an exhale you did, it was proof of life that you were indeed real. After nights of longing for you, you were finally here. In his reality.

Truth be told, this wasn't a scheme you would normally do. Why would a goddess, who voluntarily secluded herself from the world to live in her curated domain, leave her sanctuary? But oh, maybe it was his effect on you? Something finally ignited your curiosity from the outside world. A prince, a brilliant and handsome one.

The king was rather amused with the reaction of his son as he slowly approached you but then halted, as if doubting your existence again.

"Ah, seems like the prince is astonished by your beauty, my dear lady."

The warmth of the king only made you smile as you gazed at Alhaitham. He on the other hand somehow doubted every inch of life in you thus his brows furrowed. The king was indeed right, Alhaitham couldn't deny the beauty in you. You radiated of something out of this world, a beauty that could make a man lose his mind. Lethal, he would call it.

"They were right, your highness." you spoke. "He was indeed a beautiful prince."

Alhaitham stood there, ready to speak.

"Where did you come from?"

That was rather an unexpected question, you thought.

"I was just roaming around the area because I heard there was a constructio--"

"I am asking where are you from." His tone was stern but calm, probing the situation more.

You wouldn't tell him of your sanctuary. It would be ridiculous and of course, it was a secret.

"I came from the desert."

"Which part of the desert exactly?"

"Hadramaveth."

"Ridiculous, that area is out of the reach of the palace nor the council."

"Well I suppose you should widen your expansion within the desert." you replied with a monotone. "After all, the king mentioned you have an ongoing expedition, why not discover it yourself."

He could only stare at your answers, his hawk-like gaze observing you as if he was to judge you of your being. You actually forgot to distinguish whether this was his usual attitude compared to his demeanor during his dreams.

"That area of the desert is out of reach because of its harsh desert." he crossed his arms. "It is an untamed land filled with sandworms and consecrated beasts."

The probing session awakened Jihad whom approached his prince, slowly circling him.

"Well indeed, your grace." you replied. "But there is an area where humans can live, just the passage between Hadramaveth and the Tanit camps."

"To which the eremites occupy." he rebuked. "So, you are an eremite then?"

"No, of course not." the question made you furrow your brows.

"Then answer my question, where are you from?"

The king felt the tension between the two of you. You initially thought that he was going to be delighted to see you in your human form instead of his dreams. But here he is, questioning you. A human, questioning you.

"Now, now, Alhaitham." the king awkwardly chuckled, stepping in. "I think you are scaring the young lady. She offered help to navigate the sands."

"I already sent my men, no need for navigation." Alhaitham looked at his father.

"Your men are headed the wrong direction," you replied. "They're still at the mausoleums."

"And how do you know this? Are you certain they're my men? What mausoleum are you referring to?"

Well, shoot. Of course you couldn't tell him that you can just see everything in a snap. That would ruin your plan. Think. Think. Think.

Now you were certain this was a bad idea, you should've just shut yourself inside that sanctuary of your comfort instead of feeding this man of his wants. What is he up to anyway? You scolded yourself.

"Your highness--"

"That's enough. Guards, please escort this young lady to her quarters." the king sighed.

"No, father. She will be accompanying me in my study." Alhaitham turned his back, walking away and his tiger following along. "She'll have to map the desert out."

You stood there, dumbfounded. This was different man, a different man in his dreams. Where was the man who would look at you with those longing eyes despite being close together? Where was that man who would listen to you play the harp and smile as your grazed your fingers through the strings? Where was the man who would ask for your touch and comfort? Where was he?

You couldn't move from the unexpected reaction from him. Was he not content of seeing you? The silence enveloped and only the heave of the king snapped you back from the heavy thought. Alhaitham stopped as he noticed you were not tagging along.

"Come," he looked back with those stoic eyes.

What an unexpected turn of events.

A/N: FOLLOWING, REBLOGGING, INTERACTIONS, AND FEEDBACKS ARE APPRECIATED! Make sure to follow the first hashtag #Circeworks୨୧ to be updated with my future works! Happy reading faes!

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innaillus · 7 months ago

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Drawing Ryōmen Sukuna

Development notes

This post has been in the making since last year, before the manga has reached its current arc. My aim was to respond to comments that pointed out that my version of that time didn't look like the one in the anime. I calculate everything I do and the way I do it. My current goal is to share my thoughts on the development of my take on him - simply because I'm a nerd when it comes to anatomy and I love figuring things out. It involves a lot of thinking, questioning, analysis, dissecting information and building theories. So I totally understand if it's not anyone's cup of tea.

MANGA SPOILER WARNING

The very beginning

I used to have a serious case of lack of self-confidence. My earliest art of Sukuna dates back to 2021, but it always felt like my skills are not worthy of this particular character. I never shared my art. I was also struggling to find my artistic voice. I was obsessed with the idea of semi-realism, but even if I managed to pull it off after weeks of stylisation practices, I didn't like the results.

Due to personal reasons, I stopped trying to draw him for a long time.

The development of "my" version

It was an entirely conscious decision to draw him differently.

The top reasons for the change was that I didn't want to sexualise him in his host, Yuuji, who is a minor. Back then I thought he inflicted the deformation on himself (extra limbs, eyes, etc), for the sake of efficiency, and I was curious what he looked like before that - or what he would look like in a civilised environment.

During the process, I considered a number of factors:

the beauty standard of the other JJK men - I wanted him to fit the lineup - his original appearance made him stand out quite much

in a setting where he adheres to the rules of society, more or less, I believe his MBTI personality type (ENTJ) would dictate a lot of his choices when it comes to appearance, at least to a certain extent. I thought he would choose to have an appearance that fits the beauty standards of the era

I kept his tattoos because it's a very distinguishing feature of him, but I also exercise freedom in the way I draw them, to make them as stylish as possible

Reincarnation

I used to believe once he reincarnates, his proportions would be closer to that of a "normal" human, even if he has some extra limbs. However, his size and features are above and beyond of what we are used to, and even the story emphasises their malformed appearance. So a a whole new era of Sukuna started in my art. I chose my favourite manga panels of him and mix-and-matched the most attractive features into a figure that I consider on the fine edge of monstrosity and unconventional handsomeness.

Even when I draw him with a regular number of limbs, I keep his usual mass and proportions. I dubbed this form "true gains" form.

I also realised that some of the tattoos Yuuji's body displayed was a product of the partial reincarnation stage, like we see it on Tsumiki's forehead.

NOTE: Did anyone notice that Sukuna is getting progressively more and more human/handsome in the manga? When he took over Megumi's body, I also noticed that as the story progressed, he started to look older and more mature. I'm curious of it was a conscious decision.

Twin dilemma and speculations

According to the Japanese wikipedia page, the mythical figure Sukuna could have been a conjoined twin. Despite my extensive digging in the matter, I was shocked by the recent lore drop.

My question: what does Sukuna look like in a universe where he did not absorb his twin in the womb during development?

It hasn't been confirmed, but I find it very possible now that he was born with his extra limbs, eyes and mouth, as well as the deformed, wide features. (...as opposed to my first theory about him altering his own body for the sake of efficiency)

This, however, would mean that in a universe where both him and his brother are born healthily, he would look different. There is the obvious lack of extra arms, eyes and mouth - but I believe he would also be closer to the JJK beauty standard of men, as far as proportions go (eg. more narrow face, anime-esque nose, larger eyes).

At first I was hesitant to accept this idea, as I'm very attached to the 4-arm hulk / "true gains" form now, but then I realised: this would mean that "my"version of him actually has logically explainable place in at least an alternate universe.

Thank you if you got this far.

I may edit this post later. Let's see where the story takes us.

#ryomen sukuna #jjk art #jujutsu kaisen

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ff-killjam · 2 months ago

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How The Tables Turned [Ford x reader oneshot]

Summary: This time, its Ford making you stop what you're going to make sure you get sleep.

Rating: SFW and very fluffy

Warnings: Aside from a slightly suggestive part, none!

AO3 version

A/N: Actually based on a period of time where I tried to learn how to use unity (before the whole drama of it happened). I refused to do ANYTHING but to work on my little project no matter how much I was starving for a few weeks straight. lol.

It’s basically routine at this point for you to drag Ford out of his lab to head for bed. Even if you remind him of the benefits on sleeping and how the lack of it will impact his work, you still needed to get him into bed, sometimes having some food ready for him to make sure he didn’t sleep on an empty stomach.

That’s how its USUALLY IS.

Lately, you’ve started your own personal project involving learning a game engine to play around with. It was mostly just a random idea one day, wanting to try your hand at making your own little “video game”. Nothing too fancy, just something fun to put together and to learn some new skills along the way. There was A LOT you needed to look into and learn to make this happen, however.

From learning a coding language, the game engine itself, a mix between finding free to use assets and even making your own when nothing suited your taste- you had a lot on your plate. It wasn’t all that bad really, considering how this whole thing turned into a full blown hyper fixation fairly soon after starting it. It was easy to let the hours fly by as you were split between watching tutorial videos, drawing and fixing any errors/bugs in any of the codes you wrote down. You were aware of when you needed to sleep, eat and do other things for your health, but something about working on this project made you refuse to move from your chair. And you weren’t the only one to noticed this.

After a decent amount of time being with you, Ford has grown used to the routine of you coming to his lab to check up on him. It got to the point where he purposely stayed late in the lab to get you to come in and “pester” him to take care of himself better. The feeling of knowing you cared and loved him so much to go out of your way to make sure he knew that was something he relished in. Of course, he did felt a little “silly” and “immature” doing this instead of straight up telling you, but there was no harm being done anyways, so it was fine.

So when you stopped checking on him after a few nights, he couldn’t help but to worry a bit. At first, he figured you were just a bit busy, possibly even out for the night, so he didn’t think too much of it. However, when walking into your computer room and seeing you up staring at your screen with an open notebook with various random things written on it, he couldn’t help to smile a bit as you reminded him of his university days. You were just working on something, nothing too bad.

But as time passed by, he soon realizes he only ever sees you in your computer room. You barely went out for anything, even for food. Ford didn’t want to jump to any conclusions, but he was worried. Things escalated for him when he barely sees you in bed anymore.

It’s not like he didn’t talk to you as you were deep in your work. He would sometimes check in on you when things felt a little too quite after he started to noticed your absent in his lab. Ford was happy you were able to pursue something new and to take the time and effort to do it. He was aware of the little game you wanted to make for the sake of saying “I made this!”. When he had the free time, he’ll listen to you talk about the things you learned, some of the issues you faced and how you fixed them, etc etc. But he can only take so much before he had to really step in for your own sake.

The sky was dark out, and it was around 1am. You weren’t in bed yet. Again. Ford was really concerned for you now. Walking through the dim hallway, he opens up the door of your computer room. He can see you fully concentrated on your screen, looking over some codes you put together, as if you were trying to find any errors in the lines of text that was presented in front of you. It was obvious how dry your eyes were, how your body longed for rest, but the urge to keep going and to fix this one mistake kept you from wanting to sleep despite how much you felt the need to do so.

It was almost funny to him. A taste of his own medicine some would say. It reminds him of the many nights on how he too would refuse to stop for the night, always needing to do one more thing before he could let himself rest. How you would do your best to persuade him to let himself walk away from his work, to take care of himself to avoid any health complications, and to spend time with you in the comfort of your bed.

It made him feel guilty as well. The things you did for him and how much you loved him to always go out of your way to show it. Ford knew he was taking full advantage of that, and he wanted to repay it back.

You jumped a little in your seat when you felt his familiar six finger hand land on your shoulder, being so focused on the lines of text on your screen that you forgot where you were for a good bit. You look over at Ford as he stood beside your seat, giving him a weak smile.

“Oh hey! Do you need anything?” You asked before quickly looking back at the screen again.

“Love, when was the last time you ate?” Ford asked you in a gentle voice.

“Uh… I had breakfast?” You answered, only remembering you had some toast with a sunny side egg on top when you last ate. It didn’t seem like it mattered too much though.

“Its almost one am” Ford replied, a little stern this time. You quickly check the clock on your taskbar, feeling surprised from how much time had passed.

“Oh… oops” you spoke mostly to yourself, feeling a little silly for not checking the time more often. “I’ll probably head to bed soon”

“Not soon,” Ford points out, “you’re going to bed now.” His words made you look at him again, confusion viable on your face.

“Just let me do this one fix-” Ford says your name, stern voice again, causing you to stop your sentence.

“You are fully aware of the effects of not taking care of yourself” Ford spoke to you with a smirk on his face. You knew that he was referencing the many of times where you brought out the facts of how the lack of sleep and self care can affect your health and day to day life. It was the best way to convince him to come to bed and let you cuddle with him until you were both asleep. “You’re no different form me, sweetheart. Got to practice what they preach, as they say”

“Uh…. I’m built different?” You gave a half shrug and a low chuckle at your own joke. Obviously, this did nothing to change his mind. You knew he was right, and had nothing to say to argue back. Ford knew this too. “Fine… let me quickly save and shut off my computer…”

Ford watches you quickly save any progress before shutting off your computer, the light of the screen turning off and making the room dark as it was the only thing on. As you start to stand, your body fully conveyed how tired you really were. You were about to walk to the hallway door before Ford lets out a ‘let me’, and you were now being picked up bridle style in his arms. You let out a small gasp, often forgetting how much muscle the older man has as he often hides it away in his iconic turtleneck. The comfort of him holding you made the realization at your own exhaustion hit hard. You can feel yourself somewhat go limp as Ford carried you to your shared room.

Ford felt you quickly relax in his arms, feeling prideful as he carried you to your bed. Sitting you on the side and pulling the blanket back. He lays you on your pillow before fallowing suit into his usual spot on the bed beside you. Your eyes were shut as you let yourself sink into the soft mattress, the weight of the blanket being pulled over you giving a sense of security, along with how his arms wrapped around you to pull you close to his chest. You let out a sigh of relief as you feel him nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck, getting a few shivers down your spine.

“Sorry…” You mumbled to him, feeling guilty now for making him go out of his way to get you to bed. You feel him chuckle into your skin, the smile forming on his face being easily felt on your skin.

“Nothing to be sorry about sweetheart,” his replied, voice audibly sounding more tired, “I should be the one to apologize, making you go through this almost every night. I see how doing this almost all the time can be a bit frustrating for you.”

“Not if its you,” You were quickly to reply, “I’m always happy to make sure you’re okay”. Ford felt his heart flutter at your words. You always did surprised him with how much you loved him despite how many times you pointed it out.

“The feeling is mutual,” Ford placed a kiss on your skin as he caressed one of his thumbs that rested on you, “lets get to sleep now, I’ll be sure to do something for you in the morning” Ford gave another kiss on your skin, and you can’t help but to feel excited for what he had planned.

Silence followed as you two let yourselves slowly fall asleep in each others comfort. Feeling his steady heartbeat on your back lulled you to your sleep.

Ford smiled when he realized you fell asleep before he did. It was no surprise, you needed it really bad. Without fail every night when he has you in his arms like this, he feels like the luckiest man in the multiverse. He didn’t deserve you, but it was almost as if this is the repayment he deserved after many years of suffering, a way of life saying sorry to him.

And he wouldn’t ask for anything else.

#Gravity Falls x reader #Ford pines x reader #stanford x reader #reader insert #fanfiction #one shot #fluff #Killjam's fic tag

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silveme · 1 year ago

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I realized I forgot to post my sigma headcanon drawings on here! Anywho, enjoy these silly little ideas.

More hcs I didn’t feel like drawing under the cut:

HE HAS AUTISM. I think most people on here can agree with me on that point. It’s pretty obvious

Smells like hand sanitizer. Or like a doctors office

His hands are always super cold

He was extremely overconfident before the accident. A bit arrogant even (but in a funny way) then he got #humbled

This is probably me projecting but I don't really see him being interested in any sort of romantic relationships. To me he's married to science, and very loyal! I think his dedication to his experiments (and lack of social skills) would prevent him from holding a relationship for very long. Plus he's got other things to worry about lol

So we all know that he doesn’t have any actual mental illnesses and that everything going on with him is bc of the black hole right. BUT! I think if he actually did have any sort of real life mental illness it would most likely be PTSD from the accident. I'd imagine he's always thinking about what went wrong, seeing as he's the type to quadruple check all his math beforehand

#que intergalactic #sigma #overwatch #original art #art #fanart #sigma overwatch #headcanon #ow #ow2 #siebren de kuiper #overwatch fanart

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unsuredreamer · 4 months ago

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Getaway car

Red Hearts ❤️ x fem! reader

These two pics 🙌🏻

Like yeah ma'am I'm on my knees. Respectfully

Here's a Red fic for you my lovesss

"Oh c'mon Red! Don't be staring at her with your lover eyes, go and introduce yourelf" Chloe wiggled her eyebrows knowingly at her friend, who was painfully staring holes at the back of a head of a certain someone.

"Fuck you dumb or something?! Not a chance thats happening" The red haired girl glared at the other princess, stabbing her food with her fork, eating peas was not something she particularly enjoyed. Back in Wonderland she would be having something extravagant, different, weird she would even say. But here, just peas and potatoes everyday, not that she would complain, just, she'd love to change up some flavors from time to time.

"Wellll, I'll do it then! I'm sure she's heard about you coming to Auradon. She was the one who requested for villain kids to be studying here, after all!" Before Red could complain further more, her fast friend quickly took off from their table, coming straight at yours. Her blue locks blowing from her speed, she was eager to do what the other had failed so miserably many times.

But could you blame her? She was not shy, certainly not. She did not lack of anything. Talking skills, charisma and her attitude still on board as it has been since she left her home kingdom to come and study at Auradon. But, there was something intimidating in you at the same time drawing her further in the spiraling maze of thoughts and mysteries you could be hiding from her.

She never spoke to you, obviously, you were too popular for her to even approach you, she swore she'd never get involved with people like that. Always with someone, always on the run to be somewhere, to be doing literally anything besides resting. That's also what fascinated her about you, she wanted to know what a princess like you could be doing every second of the day. Making haste to do her duties? Running off to be somewhere calm? To be finally left alone? She wanted to know your every thought and opinion.

It scared her. She had never felt that way about anyone and it was weird to discover feeling like that, although she found it rather amusing to be thinking so much of you. You were not special.

She just liked watching you play your favorite sport on your tournament's. Oh how your eyes lit up when you got a set point, running straight at your teammates cackling them on the ground. And when you took off your shirt after winning every game, yelling profanities of happiness, the way the sweat rolled down your body and how your hair curled from wetness being held in a ponytail with a singular small braid. She was in awe, although she had never let it show.

She liked to observe you when you strutted down the school halls with your best friend, your books tightly grasped in your hands, close to your chest. You were usually clothed in a light blue checkered skirt that made your ass very hard to not look at, also complimenting your big thighs, not that she would look at of course (such a bullshit, she was staring hard) a white loose button-up shirt so simply hanging off your shoulders making your collarbone pop out so finely that even the mightiest of gods would not be ashamed to check you out, and of course some gold accessories to top it all. The most prominent being your bulk gold ring and a heart necklace, gifted to you by Evie Grimhilde.

Her daydreams were cut short by her very blue friend shaking her shoulders.

"Red, are you with us? Oh great!" Chloe grinned as she got her boo to finally listen. "As I've been saying, this is Y/n!"

"Hi, I heard from Charming here that you've been staring at me quite often" You giggled, she was looking rather cute, just sittings there with her clouded stare as she hummed in agreement. Probably not realizing what she did there. "Id love to meet you actually, get to know you a bit maybe a lot. Whatever you're most comfortable with, hearts" you smiled at her as she blushed at the nickname. She liked it when you smiled, it made her smile internally too. "You up for a ride to the enchanted lake later?"

You never really put your mind to get to know her, even though you wanted to meet the new kid, you always thought she might want to acclimatize first. That doesn't necessarily mean you never looked at her, she was really hard to miss, a storm of red locks everywhere you turned. Smudging somethings in her sketchbook or spraying the walls with her black paint. You should probably be informing someone of the vandalism she has committed herself to. But she looked so happy doing so, and you were so immersed in exploring the smallest details of every single one as soon as she left, that you could not. You wanted to appreciate her art.

You wanted to appreciate her.

As you were in the middle of the staring contest with a girl you dreamt of so many times (strange dreams including someone scarily close in beauty to hers that left you amazed after every night) the son of Aurora came and slipped his arms around your waist.

"Hey baby" you kind of grimaced as he kissed you on your cheek "Are you up to a quick run later?"

"Well I kind of got some plans already Aron" you wiggled out of his grasp. "I'm meeting princess Red later" you grinned at the red haired girl

"Her? but why?" he looked at her with a bit of disgust. As we know his family haven't really got a great history with villains. "My grandma says-

"Well, I don't really care what your grammy has to say. I'd like to make a new friend and I've heard Red would like to know me too" You remarked stopping him from saying some cruel shit about Red's family, stepping away from him too.

"Ooh" Was all Red could let out of herself. Were you really with that douchebag? He was nothing like his sister who actually became really close to a certain pirate after a sad encounter. Matter of fact, he despised vk's for simply breathing the same air as him. It was weird for her that someone like you would be with someone like him.

Later in the day you fastened your pace to Red and Chloe's dorm room, you anticipated your meeting with the girl the whole day. It was dragging, especially on your 'history of magic' lessons where the princess of Wonderland, sat 3 tables away from you, looking as pretty as the garden's of babylon, like she was touched by Midas, turning gold with every second, but keeping her rose colored cheeks as tinted as always. Merely breathing as she fell sound asleep, you could not help yourself to snicker under your breath as you took a few photos of her.

You found yourself smiling at the memory, she was cute, she could deny it as much as she want but her bitch face only makes a bad first impression. If you look at her for more than half a minute you would notice how her features soften within time as she melts into her own world, gets lost in her own thoughts. The way her brows furrow when she doesn't understand something. How her once red hair slowly loose their color becoming more and more pink, so she dyes them unevenly leaving some pink strands along the way, making her look so incredibly beautiful. How her long nails tap the same rythym on the table over and over, as she scribbles sharp lines in her sketchbook. Sitting criss-cross under this big tree on the edge of the forest.

You'd love to know her from the inside, as much as you know her from the outside.

In a millisecond of your knock you already see the door opening loudly and a cheerful Chloe standing in the frame.

"Oh my you look so good, you beast!" That made you cringe a little, Chloe had a weird way of placing words together, but nonetheless you loved the little bluey charming. She was like a little sister to you, even though you were just a little bit older than her.

"Hi my lovely! Is Red ready?" Doesn't that seem a bit like you were asking if she was ready for a date? "I-I, was just checking, I came to take her out, I mean, to the lake" Oh craps, you're stuttering, is it bad? It's bad. Fuck now you're panicking, great!

"Chill Y/n, I can almost hear your thoughts" princess charming giggled as you blushed deep shade of red, Red. "She's ready" She moved closer to you putting her hand to her mouth "Been ready since 5" She laughed as the Wonderlandian appeared at the door, yanking her by her collar.

"Thank you Chloe, we're gonna go now" She shut the door at the other girls face, hearing a loud 'Have fun lovebirds!' from behind them "I'm sorry for her. She can be annoying sometimes"

"No worries Red, I know, I've been friends with her since babies" You giggled as the princesses face lit up from the embarrassment, she totally forgot she's the new one in the kingdom.

"So you have a boyfriend?"

"Wow, straight forward i see" You smiled once again as you put your helmet on, doing the exact same with the Wonderlandian. She avoided your gaze looking like a pro. "You know you can look at me, hearts" you flicked her nose and she scrunched it in annoyance.

"So you don't?" She pushed you away, you grinned as you sat on your motorcycle

"Get on princess, I'm gonna take you places you've never been before" She was stunned, frozen in place looking at your extremely hot body leaning over, waiting for her to sit behind you. The phrase coming out of your mouth not helping the growing burning hot feeling inside her. She wanted to touch you.

Wanted it so badly. Was it mad? Probably.

As she sat on the motorcycle you guided her hands to grasp your waist.

"Try not to fall off, babe" Fuck. She was done for.

On the other side, you could not help the tingling feeling her touch left on you, it made your blood boiling, and every vein in your body want to pop out. Your strong grip on the vehicle only tightened when hers tightened on you. You took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as your heart beat rapidly on your chest.

What is she doing with you? You're going mad for her.

Mad.

The ride was slightly more calm, Red explored every single detail of the forest you were so fastly going through, and your eyes remained on the road only cursing yourself as you felt her head gently laying on your back.

"So tell me more about yourself Red" You insisted, as you took a stroll through the bridge leading to the enchanted spot. She swung her hands trying to balance herself.

"Well, I'm from Wonderland, my mom is the famous Queen of hearts. Our kingdom is stric-"

"About yourself silly" You stopped her grabbing ber shoulders from behind. "I want to hear about you, Red" Her name coming out of your mouth sounded different. It was not the harsh tone her mother used to yell her name out with. But it was also not the overly sweet almost apologetic-like tone everyone around her used, when she first come from Wonderland.

It was genuine, soft, like you'd truly want to say her name till the rest of your days.

This sentence took you on a roll of quietly listening to her stories from her childhood, her favorite things, foods, hobbies, and many diffrent informations you would love to know about her. You loved when someone began rambling to you let alone when it was someone you took a particular interest in. She looked so dazzling, stuffing her mouth with ice cream and mini cakes in between telling you how the cheshire cat scared her once so bad she began crying. And he just appeared before her while she was painting roses.

"Do you want to take a swim?" You blurted out, the sun was slowly setting painting the sky the beautiful shade of orange, pink and lavender.

"I kind of don't know how to swim Y/n" she blushed looking away, like it would be the worst of crime.

"It's okay Red, I'm not pressuring you to, but I'll happily give you lessons right here right now" You stripped down to your underwear getting in the water.

Red's eyes wandered all over your body until desire took over her, she wanted you to touch her even if she had to drown for it to happen. But you wouldn't let her would you? She hoped so as she swiftly got up and stripped down her own clothes.

Your mouth agape when you gazed at her.

"Dang, you're hot" You smirked moving your hands in the water, swimming deeper in. She began to get in, but slowly backed out "It's okay love, come, I'll take your hand" you reached out for her. And she tightly grasped it but it didn't take long for her to panic when she couldn't feel the ground beneath her feet.

"No, no, no, no" You swiftly pulled her close to your body, swimming quickly somewhere less deeper then you already were.

"Red, Red. Calm down, wrap yourself around me" you whispered to her ear gently, what made her shiver even more than the water hitting her skin. She did as you requested, tangling her legs around your waist and her arms around your neck. Your warm breath fanning over her collarbone made her heart thump in her chest once again.

She couldn't help but look down in your eyes discovering that you were already looking up at her with yours. She pulled your head closer to her body leaning down. You glanced quickly at her lips not letting yourself loose the beautiful sight of her eyes.

Not stopping yourself you closed the distance between you two, letting your lips touch hers, grabbing her waist in the process, feeling her jump at your sudden bold move.

Her lips tasted like cherries but mixed with blood, you could not quite decipher how. You liked it. Liked it a lot. They were soft, and she kissed you so slowly and carefully feeling like she would scare you away if she was to move any further. Grasping your wet hair in her hands she deepened the kiss after a second. Feeling more comfortable in it now as she felt your hands roam her body.

Kissing her was like a sentence to death, there was something thrilling toit. It was not sweet, sickening and bubble gum to anyone's dismay. She kissed hard and strong, sticking her tongue in your mouth and biting your lips when she felt bold enough.

Your hands creeped down her body resting on her ass as she hummed in content, agreeing on every antic you were about to commit to.

It was exciting, and you loved that feeling.

You finally felt free with her.

Swimming, although you could drown in her.

After you pulled away, with protest. Deep heavy breathing was all that could be heard, immersed in each other's touch. Occasional splashes of water in the background.

Were you moving too fast? Was it the right thing to do? You did not care.

She tasted so good. It was so wrong, but it felt so good to have her all to yourself.

The few breaths you managed to take were cut short when she crushed your lips together once again, as if on cue, knowing exactly what you want.

You would not imagine yourself making out with the princess of Wonderland while swimming in the enchanted lake. But that's what you needed. That was what your heart begged for at the moment,

Your moment of peace.

She was your peace

It felt right. It felt as if you were bound by an invisible string. Meant to be by each other at the exact moment of your lives.

She was your escape

Your getaway car

#descendants #descendants rise of red #descendants 4 #descendants rise of red x reader #descendants x reader #descendants 4 x reader #red of wonderland #redcharming #red x fem reader #red hearts #red x reader #red #bridget hearts #chloe charming #fiction

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hoejosatoru · 2 months ago

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it's nice to have a friend

Pairing: Fem!reader x Bachira, readers hair color/texture and skin color not specified. Characters are aged up 21+

Summary: You have been keeping a secret from your best friend for years: you're in love with him. Throughout the years it gets harder and harder to be close with him, but not in the way you really want. You reach a crossroads: tell him how you feel and risk your friendship, or accept it was never meant to be.

a/n: This took me way longer to write than I expected, but I'm happy to finally have it out. Title based on the Taylor swift, which is what inspired aspects of this fic.

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: Slowish burn friends to lovers, light bullying in childhood sections from unnamed character to reader, mutual pining, fingering, pet names, unprotected sex, cream pie. Not proof read. If aging up characters make you uncomfortable, don't read. MDNI

When you were 8 years old...

You met Bachira for the first time. You were at the park, collecting little flowers to put in your hair. You were about to pick a rather pretty pink one when a soccer ball rolled over it, crushing the delicate flower.

"Hey!" you grumbled at the young boy chasing after the ball, "You ruined my flower!"

The boy, who looked your age, looked down at the damage his ball caused. "Oh, I'm sorry," he said apologetically. He twisted around, scanning the grassy field. "Hold on!" You watched as the boy dashed away, picked a flower, then return to you. It looked just like the one you had been about to pick.

"Thank you," you beamed.

"Do you wanna play soccer with me?" he asked. He was passing the ball back and forth between his feet.

"I don't know how," you replied.

"I'll teach you! It's fun." He was balancing the ball on his foot now, which you found impressive. You'd always been a more solitary child, opting to play things on your own, however something about this boy made you interested in trying something new.

"Yeah, okay. Just a second." You quickly tucked the pink flower into your hair.

"Pretty," he smiled. "I'm Bachira, by the way. C'mon let's go!"

And so began your chasing after Bachira.

When you were 10 years old...

You and Bachira were each other's best friends. He never was able to get you into soccer, but you still humored him by kicking the ball around. Mostly, you just stood as an obstacle for him to practice his dribbling around, but you didn't mind. It was cool to see your best friend be so good at something.

Plus, Bachira was a fair sport. You loved drawing, which he'd always do with you. You thought Bachira's mom was so cool because she was an artist. You loved going over to his house and painting with her and Bachira.

Today, though, was a soccer day. You were passing the ball back and forth when it got away from you, as it often did. You ran after it, but it came to a stop in front of a boy’s feet. You gulped as you looked up, finding the class bully staring down at you.

"Watch where you're kicking that, loser," he sneered at you.

"'M n-not a loser," you replied, attempting to sound brave. The bully only laughed at you.

"Y-yes you are," he mimicked the catch in your voice meanly.

"Leave her alone!" Bachira shouted as he ran to your side.

"Aw look, it's your weirdo boyfriend!" he mocked.

Your cheeks flushed, embarrassed by this for a reason you couldn't quite place. "He's not my boyfriend!"

"He should be, no one else likes you," he replied.

"Shut up!" you snapped, trying to get the ball away from him. You lacked the skills Bachira had, so he was able to keep it away. Your efforts made you stumble closer, allowing the bully to yank a lock of your hair. The force caused you to topple to the ground.

"Ow!" you cried as your knees hit the hard ground.

Bachira's eyes flared with anger. "Don't touch her!" Bachira lunged at the bully, who tried to evade him, but failed. Bachira managed to steal the ball back and then shoved the bully to the ground. He hit the ground with a resounding thud. An embarrassed flush reddened his cheeks.

"Whatever, you guys are freaks!" he yelled, before scrambling away.

Bachira turned to you, anger replaced by concern on his face. "Are you okay y/n?”

"Yeah, I'm fine," you nodded. Your cheeks were flushed, but for a completely different reason that your bully's were. Seeing Bachira stand up for you like that made you feel a way you never felt before.

"C'mon let's go back to my house. My mom will take us for ice cream." Bachira held his hand out to you to help you up. When you took it, your stomach flipped. A soft sort of warmth filled you, like hot chocolate after a day in the snow. Bachira held your hand the whole walk back to his house, chattering on as he often did when he knew you were upset. You, however, had practically forgotten about the bully, your attention completely taken over by this new feeling brought on by your best friend.

When you were 14...

You had long since come to terms with what those feelings meant. You had a crush on your best friend. It was your biggest secret, the only secret you kept from him. The two of you were as close as ever, despite gaining some more friends in middle school. Bachira had joined the soccer team and, unsurprisingly, was one of the top players. He made some friends on the team and you made some in art club. Though none of those relationships came close to what you had with Bachira. You refused to ruin that by blurting out how you really felt about him.

On this day, you both sat up on Bachira's roof, as you did more frequently now. The sun was setting on the last day of summer and tomorrow you'd be starting high school. You were nervous about the transition. You felt the levity of childhood waning behind you, as if all the choices you made from now on would hold more weight.

"What do you think high school will be like?" Bachira asked you. He had his hands behind his head, watching the sunset in a relaxed manner.

"Dunno," you replied, "Everyone makes it seem like a big deal. What do you think?"

Bachira shrugged. "I don't think it will be so bad." That was Bachira for you, always unbothered.

"I'm so jealous you never get nervous about anything," you sighed.

"I get nervous about somethings, like what if I don't get on the soccer team," he countered.

You rolled your eyes, laughing. "You're absolutely going to make the team, Meguru. I bet you'll even get on varsity."

"Don't jinx me now," he replied, grinning. He wasn't superstitious at all, but hearing your unwavering faith in him delighted him.

"Just don't let it get to your head and ditch me for cooler friends," you replied, covering your real fears in a jovial tone.

Bachira snorted. "I don't think you have to worry about that." Bachira rolled over to face you, jabbing his finger into your ribs. "Besides, no one is cooler than you."

"Yeah, whatever," you laughed nudging his shoulder back. "Just don't want things to change. People start dating and stuff and shit gets messy." You never had a boyfriend, though a few of friend dabbled in dating in middle school. You simply weren't interested in anyone. Bachira did not seem interested in romance, either, but you knew that day would come and you were dreading it.

"You stress too much, y/n," Bachira replied.

"Ugh I know I do," you sighed, "I'll probably end up like Isagi." You referenced Bachira's teammate who after weeks of stressing about how he would go in for his first kiss ended up biting the girl on accident.

Bachira laughed. "Is that what you're worried about? No way your first kiss could be worse than that."

"God I hope not," you replied, "Just that all my friends have kissed people. Sometimes I feel like I'm falling behind."

"I haven't kissed anyone either," he pointed out.

"That cause we're both losers."

"True," Bachira chuckled. He was quiet for a moment before adding, "Hey I've got an idea. Why don't we just kiss each other?"

Your head whipped around. "Huh?"

"You know just to get it out of the way, so you're not as stressed about when you have to kiss someone," he replied.

"Are you messing with me?" You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Bachira liked to pull little pranks and if he was just joking around, you didn't wanna agree and look like an idiot.

"Why not?" Bachira shrugged. "We're just friends, it doesn't have to mean anything." While it stung a little to hear Bachira say kissing you wouldn't mean anything, you couldn't pass up an opportunity to kiss him.

"Okay, yeah," you nodded. "Why not." There was a beat of silence before you both started to move closer to each other. You both let out awkward little laughs before your eyes fluttered shut. The next thing you knew, Bachira's mouth was pressed against yours.

You weren't sure how long it was, it really couldn't have been that long, but you swore time froze. Your entire body felt alive, buzzing with warmth. You leaned into him, letting yourself soak up every second of his soft lips against yours.

When you pulled away you were breathless and flushed. You quickly turned away, afraid that he might catch how much you enjoyed that. "Thanks," you mumbled, laying back down.

"That's what friends are for." Bachira laid beside you once again. The two of you stayed up on the roof until the sun dipped below the trees surrounded by a charged silence. You never spoke of the kiss again.

When you were 16...

You were heartbroken for the first time. Bachira had a girlfriend.

As you had predicted, Bachira made varsity in his freshman year and quickly became a star player. You went to every single game, happy to cheer on your best friend's success. With the success, came more people wanting to befriend him and, eventually, girls who were interested in dating him.

It wasn't until now, in junior year, that he ever accepted anyone's advances. You didn't know the girl very well, but you tried to be friendly. As much as it hurt to see Bachira with someone, you did want him to be happy. His girlfriend, however, had no interest in you. She was cold at best, often trying to keep Bachira from spending time with you.

Bachira still made efforts to hang out with you, but it was different. To fill the void, you tried dating yourself. A nice boy from one of your math classes. He asked you out and you figured you might as well give it a shot. Maybe, you thought, this would help you get over your unrequited love Bachira.

The relationship did not last long. He was a great guy, truly, but your heart wasn't in it. Nothing made you feel like Bachira did. You were grateful to part amicably with him.

Luckily, just a few months later Bachira ended his relationship as well. "She was a total bitch," he said as you walked home together after his game.

"I coulda told you that," you replied.

Bachira was bouncing the ball between his feet as he walked. "Next time please do. I didn't like how she treated you, I'm sorry I didn't realize sooner."

You shrugged. "It's whatever. Just try to find someone cooler next time."

Bachira grinned. "Gonna be hard to find someone cooler than you, but I'll try."

When you were 17...

Bachira asked you to go to prom as friends. Neither of you had any other relationships after your respective first time failures. You were ecstatic to be going with Bachira, even if it was just as friends. Your parents fawned over both of you, making to take about a million photos before you left. You both acted annoyed, but loved it. It was an excuse to touch, to be close. You were happy with Bachira's arms around you, even if it was just for a photo.

You put upcoming graduation out of your mind, determined to just have fun. College was looming, the inevitable separation of the two fo you. You just wanted to enjoy every minute with Bachira tonight.

Unbeknownst to you, Bachira was harboring similar feelings. He's had a crush on you for as long as he could remember, but never felt brave enough to tell you. He told himself it would be tonight, prom being the perfect time to make it special. But all the nerve he had worked up dissolved when he found you dancing with your ex after he stepped away for the bathroom. He suddenly felt foolish and locked his feelings deeper inside.

When you were 18...

You and Bachira were apart for the first time in your decade long friendship. Bachira went to one of the top collegiate soccer programs and you found yourself at a college known for the arts. While you were excited for this, it was difficult to be without your best friend.

"We'll be in touch," Bachira promised, "You'll get so sick of hearing from me so much." While you doubted that, you were reassured that he valued your friendship so much.

But it was easier said than done. In the beginning, you facetimed each other nearly every day, but as his soccer training picked up and your coursework increased it became difficult. The daily calls devolved into texts every few days, with the occasional FaceTime. There was a small part of you that was okay with the communication dwindling. It was hard to see Bachira without you, knowing his life was growing in a way you wouldn't be a part of. That people would enter it that he may come to care for more than you. It was almost easier to just ignore it.

When you were 22...

You were graduating from college and Bachira was set to play for a pro league overseas. As you progressed through college and Bachira pick dup training to be a pro athlete, your presence in each other's day-to-day lives dwindled. You kept contact with each other as best as you could and even visited each other at your respective schools a few times.

The best part of being with Bachira was that it was like nothing had ever changed. As sad as it was at times that you didn't get to see each other much, it felt good that it never impacted the core of your friendship.

Both of you had a string of relationships in college, none of them lasting that long. There was always something missing in the other person, a spark that they couldn't quite ignite.

As you hugged Bachira goodbye at the airport, you couldn't stop tears from flowing down your face. Not just for your best friend moving half a world away, but for all things you never said. For how you wished things could be different between the two of you. It all felt too late now.

"Oh come on y/n, you're not gonna miss me that much," Bachira teased lightly.

"Don't worry these are tears of joy," You replied, wiping them away. "I'm glad I'm finally getting rid of you.

Bachira grinned. "You'll never get rid of me."

"Is that a threat?"

"Nah, a promise."

When you were 25...

You got a call from Bachira. He was moving back home. Bachira had been offered a spot on the national team after his years of success overseas. His time away was not that much unlike when you were both away for college, checking in with each other whenever time allowed. The best part of him being away was being able to visit him. The fondest memories you had of the last year few years were when you traveled to his games and you got to explore different countries with him. Leaving was always difficult, so you were elated to hear that he would be just an hour from you.

But as you drove to his new place to see him for the first time in months, a choice weighed heavily on you. You've spent the last few years trying to find a relationship that would shake your want of Bachira. All your attempts, however, failed, leaving you feeling hopeless. So, you made the decision it was time to tell Bachira how you felt. You didn't expect him to reciprocate your feelings at all, but your hope was that getting it out of your system would allow you to finally move on.

You were scared, of course, that it could make your friendship awkward. But at this point, you felt there was no other choice.

The anxiety in your stomach to a backseat to the beautiful house you pulled up to. "Jeez, Meguru what are they paying you?"

"Too much, probably," Bachira replied with a grin. "C'mon, lemme give you the tour." It was a spacious, modern home with big windows the let in a lot of natural light. The artist in you would kill to have a space like this to paint in. One room, not furnished yet, had large windows overlooking the spacious backyard. The perfect place for Bachira to get his own practices in.

"A lot of house for one man," you said as you settled into his couch.

"I'm a big guy."

You snorted, "You're like 5'9."

Bachira huffed in faux offense. "I'll have you know, I measured in at 5'9 and a half."

"Wow, at that height you might have to switch over to basketball," you retorted. You and Bachira fell into you normal banter, which filled you with the comfortable warmth it always did. You chatted for awhile, catching up on all you've missed while away from each other.

Time slipped away from the two of you easily, the light fading from golden to an inky black of night. A silence settled over the two of you and nerves fluttered through your system. Now was your opportunity.

Just as you were steeling yourself to tell Bachira, he broke the silence. "Do you remember that night on my roof? The day before high school started?"

"Of course," you replied. Though it was over a decade ago at this point, it was a memory you replayed often.

"I had such a big crush on you," Bachira dropped this tidbit of information with a soft, nervous laugh.

Your head whipped around, certain you didn't hear him right. "What?"

"I liked you," Bachira repeated, "I was actually gonna ask you out, but then you said something about dating making things weird. I thought you were trying to subtly hint you weren't into me like that."

Your brain could barely process the information just presented to you. Bachira liked you. He had been that close to telling you and you fucked it up. You covered your face with your hands groaned. "I'm such a fucking idiot."

"What do you mean?"

"I liked you, Bachira. I only said that because I was convinced you didn't like me and I was scared you were gonna start dating other people and forget about me," you explained. You were seriously kicking yourself at the moment. "If only I had kept my stupid mouth shut... all this time."

"Wait are you, serious? You liked me?" Bachira, replied, seeming genuinely surprised.

You nodded. "I... I still do," you answered. Might as well put all your cards on the table now. "I was actually planning to tell you tonight. I wasn't expecting to do it like this, but I couldn't hide it anymore."

"Wow," Bachira breathed.

"Yeah," you replied, "It's okay if you don't feel the same anymore."

Bachira laughed. "Now you are being a bit of an idiot." You shot him a look. "Oh come on, y/n, you really don't think I don't have feelings for you? For as well as you know me I can't believe you didn't see it."

"You didn't see that I liked you either," you countered.

"Well, I admittedly am an idiot," Bachira replied, making you both laugh. "I have something else to admit."

"What's that?" You couldn't imagine any more information, your head was already spinning.

"Well, I sorta bought this place with you in mind," he replied. "I also was planning on telling you how I felt when I returned home. If you felt the same, I was hoping you'd move in with me. That little room in the back looked like the perfect place to paint."

"You're fucking with me." You were too shocked to think of anything else to say. Meguru liked you. All this time, all these years he'd longed for you the same way you had. So much so that he was willing to shape his life around yours, to make space for the things he knew you loved. You felt tears prick at the back of your eyes.

"As much as I love fucking with you," he replied with a hint of a teasing grin, "This is not one of those times. And the offer stands. There is a place for you here with me, if you want it."

Your body moved on it's own accord, flinging yourself on to him. Your lips connected to his and suddenly you were 14 again. In that second where everything felt right in the world. Only this time it was not a fleeting moment, it was something real, something you could hold on to.

"I'll take the at as a yes?" Bachira asked when you pulled away, both breathless.

"Absolutely yes." Bachira was pulling you back into him as the words left your mouth. You were giddy as you kissed each other, hands exploring the other's bodies. Neither of you wanted to hold back after years of wanting this moment. You straddled his lap, pressing yourself even closer to him.

Bachira gripped under your thighs and held you as he stood up. "I have not waited this long to be with to have our first time be on a couch." He carried you with ease to the bedroom.

"When did you get this strong?"

"It's like you forget I'm a pro athlete." Honestly, sometimes you did.

"Yeah, but soccer players have strong legs not arms," you countered as he laid you down on his bed. Well, it was your bed too now. Bachira chuckled and kissed up your neck.

"All of me is strong. You'll see." He pulled off his shirt, revealing toned muscle and paving his point.

Bachira slid your shirt off, letting his hands explore your bare skin. He rolled your nipples in his fingers as his teeth tugged at your lower lip. A soft whine escaped you as you bucked your hips up for friction.

"Mmm, should I take these off you?" Bachira mused, hooking his finger into your pants. You nodded eagerly, wanting nothing more for Bachira to strip you, touch you. He did as you bid, leaving you bare for him.

"Fuck you're so beautiful," Bachira murmured. His hand traced down the length of your body. "Better than I ever imagined. Because to be honest I imagined you naked. A lot." You giggled, not bothered by this at all.

"It's okay I have pictured you naked plenty of times." Bachira grinned at that. It struck you how natural this all felt. The nature of your relationship had changed drastically in the last few minutes, and yet it didn't feel different at all. You were afraid that the admitting your feelings would take away the friendship you had, but it had done the opposite. It felt stronger, heightened, like this was always how it was meant to be.

"Guess I shouldn't keep you waiting, then." You pulled your lip between your teeth as Bachira took off the remainder of his clothes. Your body churned at the sight of him. His cock was long and flushed a pretty shade of pink. He looked painfully hard, leaking at the tip. "How's it compare to your imagination?"

"So much better."

Bachira leaned back over you, settling his hand between your legs. "Gonna prep you for me, okay angel?" His middle finger stroked up your slit. "Fuck you're soaked." Bachira breathed against your neck as he rubbed little circles over your clit. Your pussy clenched in response, desperate to be filled. He connected his lips back to yours as his slid a finger inside you.

Bachira kissed you deep and a little messy as he played with your pussy. His middle and ring finger were deep inside you, pressing your g spot with each curl. "Megu- ngh- feels so good." You were already breathless from his touch. It was if he already had you memorized, knowing exactly how to make you come undone.

"Gonna cum for me pretty? Wanna feel it on my fingers." He moved faster now, the sound of your wetness was damn near pornographic. With anyone else you may have been embarrassed, but you didn't care. Your mind could only focus on the pleasure that built, then finally snapped inside you.

"Meguru!" His name was honey on your lips. Your pussy clamped down around him, coating his fingers with your release. He pumped his fingers as you came, getting your pussy nice and slick for his cock.

"That was so hot," Bachira marveled. "Need to be inside you." You urged him, wanting to finally be full of him, not just his fingers. "Oh god," he groaned as he pressed inside you. Your wet, warm walls welcomed him, pulling him deeper inside you. You let out sweet little gasps as your body stretched around him.

"Feels amazing y/n," Bachira groaned, sliding his cock slowly through your walls. "So fucking perfect... can't believe I've wasted so much time... could've been fucking you like this for years." His hips snapped harder and faster as spoke. He was getting lost in the feel of you. Every time he thought he couldn't get better, your cunt fluttered around him and he reached a new lever of pleasure.

"You have me, Meguru," you replied, wrapping your arms around his neck. "All of me. Forever." Your back arched, making his cock his a deeper angle inside you. You both moaned into each other mouths as you kissed.

"Gonna cum y/n," Bachira babbled, "Gonna fill you up... cum with me angel... wanna feel you." He slid his hand down to toy with your sensitive clit as he thrust into you. Your body responded with a sweeping surge of pleasure throughout your whole body. You shook and slurred out his name as your second orgasm lit up your body.

Bachira's forehead fell to the pillow, beside your head as you clamped down on him impossibly tighter. A low groan escaped him as his hips halted deep inside you, filling you with his release. You felt his cock throb inside you as his warmth spread inside you.

"Fuck." Bachira was breathless and still buried inside you, even though you were both finished. "Promise I'm not just saying that because that was amazing. But I'm in love with you. I can't believe I waited so long to tell you that, but it's true."

You smiled, pushing the hair out of his eyes. "I love you too, Meguru."

When you were 26...

You and Bachira took a trip back to your hometown. You visited the park you first met in, reminiscing on old memories.

The next thing you knew, Bachira was down on one knee.

You said yes.

When you were 27...

You were dancing in a wedding dress with Bachira. You had a small ceremony in your backyard with your close friends and family. It was magical, better than anything you dreamed up when you envisioned this day as a child.

As the two of you swayed slowly together to the tune of your wedding song, Bachira pressed his forehead to yours. Instantly, it was like you were the only two there. Bachira said I love you in your favorite way.

"I'm so glad you're my best friend."

#this took so long for no reason #bachira smut #bachira x reader #bachira headcanons #bachira x you #bachira x y/n #blue lock hc #blue lock headcanons #blue lock smut #bachira meguru x reader #bachira meguru x you

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littlest-bugz · 2 months ago

Text

The Collective You

[one system's brief advice about accepting the idea of the collective you]

One of the best pieces of system advice started from a tumblr post and was elaborated by my DID specialist. I can't find the original tumblr post that started it, so I'm making a little post of my own <3 Share the knowledge. and also hope that someone can link the original post lol.

When I was REALLY going through it™ with my first diagnosis w/ DID, and a lack of integration, all of my alters felt like separate individuals, some of us feeling as distanced as a coworker or a stranger altogether. We were just getting a grasp on internal communication between all of our subsystems, and it was rough. We felt so entirely differentiated that we were our own people trapped in one body. While I don't really care about what language you use, all alters in CDDs are a part of one person [there's only one body and brain]- the collective you.

So obvs, I'm scrolling tumblr like the chronically online doomscroller that I am, and I see this post that goes along the line of not knowing who you are, but knowing you are 'you', regardless of who you are [referring to alters]. And it said something like "we're all me enough to pick up our meds"- something like that. iirc it was a half light hearted, half advice post, but that was really good advice for me. I kind of internalized it after I processed it in therapy. It's actually why I have started to love parts language lately tbh.

After further processing this idea in therapy, Identity Confusion stopped mattering in the grand scheme of things. I focused less on worrying about who I was, and just focused on the fact that I'm me. Just like the post I saw- We are all me. The example of all being me enough to pick up my medications just applied, like, everywhere. Even when it came down to the smallest things- with coping with other symptoms too.

Oh? I don't like coffee right now? I guess I should switch to something else. [differentiated alters]

Oh? I have barely any drawing skills right now? Okay, really sucks but I can work on something else and come back to it later. [skill variance between alters]

Oh? I have to go to a doctor's appointment? I know I'll forget that- Gotta write a list, and put it up on the board so I remember. [day to day amnesia]

You know what happened? My dissociation got better! Not immediately or entirely, obviously, and my memory [re amnesia] still sucks, but that's part of the disorder- plus other disorders that I have. This idea of the collective you is something that I think is really beneficial to all CDD systems, especially during the mid to later stages of recovery.

I, admittedly, credit most of my healing to conversations I have had with my DID specialist. Especially since, without her, I wouldn't have been able to process this idea of the collective me further, but the conversation wouldn't have been started if I hadn't seen that post on tumblr. This was a budding concept with us due to the separation we had. It helped with integration. GRANTED... Not every alter got the memo, obviously, but It's something that I'm still working on. Of course, being me comes with the prerequisite that I am a person with DID, and that I am made up of multiple parts.

Now for the piece of advice I got from my therapist- Though it requires a certain level of knowledge of your own system, such as a list of alters and some identifying info [fav drinks, fav colors, those type of things]. Look at the list of your alters wherever it may be. Just whatever you use for logging your system members. Look for the commonalities between alters. There will be at least some commonalities.

For example; A good 45% of us like bunnies, 45% like cats, and 10% have a liking for other kinds of animals. Using this information, I can pretty much deduce that 1. the collective me loves animals and 2. the collective me likes cats and bunnies especially.

Another example; I looked through our simplyplural, which has a favorite color thing [in ours at least]. By looking through the list, I figured out 1. wow I like literally all colors- my fav color is rainbows and 2. I especially like pink and light blue.

More examples; the list.. THE LIST... I looked through it and saw that a good 90% of us like MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS- of varying flavors, but the common denominator was Ultra Strawberry Dreams, but all of us like [or tolerate] water as a preferred drink. From there I can come to the conclusion that I prefer water over anything else and that I have a problem with monster [being light hearted but I genuinely do].

I hope you get the idea I'm going for. I used this process for nearly every aspect of our collective identity, though some had to genuinely be voted on, such as our LGBTQIA+ labels [offline, we just call ourself queer, but that's.. aside the point LMAO].

Obviously, there are going to be outliers- Having DID comes with the fun [/s] aspect of alters being differentiated from each other in some capacity. Example for the monster energy one- We have a handful of alters that HATE energy drinks- even just fizzy drinks in general. There's one guy who will only drink Black Coffee and water- nothing else. He's the guy who is always hiding away our monsters in the way back of the fridge, but guess what!! He's me!! The part of me that doesn't want me to ruin my health over energy drinks. The part of me that knows I deserve better than my unhealthy habits.

Getting to know the collective you is just like learning about your system! It is not inherently different than figuring out what an alters dislikes or likes are. The idea of The Collective You shouldn't feel scary or anxiety inducing- if it is, you may want to confront those feelings with a therapist if you have access to one. Every CDD system is the collective [or, well, system] of one fragmented individual- That is a studied and objective fact. I wanted to give advice from one recovering system to another.

No, this will not work for everyone, every system is different, but I'm hoping this post finds the right audience in knowing that it's worth a shot to try this!

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enden-agolor · 7 months ago

Note

i fucking LOVE the way you draw/write jesse, as someone with a chubby/buff build i kind of struggle with insecurities about my size but the way you draw him makes me feel very good. idk im describing it badly but i wanted to ask if your design for him is more chubby or muscly?

Dude thank you 🥺🩵 You described it very well.

It really depends on which time frame I'm drawing Jesse in actually.

In the beginning, I imagine Jesse is quite scrawny. I mean did you see his work out routine in the beginning? He was was doing sit ups and punching flowers. He was definitely lacking muscle (but had enough to be able to lift Reuben up and down that ladder) and as the first couple episodes progress, he stays scrawny but progressively becomes more scarred up until the Portal Hallway episodes.

The Portal Hallway episodes, it takes place many months after the events of the Witherstorm. Jesse and his friends are going on many more adventures, really honing their skills that they acquired over the past few months. Jesse is much more built now. He's buff and tough with the true heart of a hero. Although, once he and his friends get stuck in the Portal Hall, that's when things take a really devastating turn for him. Feeling hopeless and lost for weeks on end, he begins to feel withdrawn from the positivity he was feeling before he ended up stuck here. Traumatic events keep occuring, and with these events, Jesse is of course drawn to remember and replay the events of Reuben's death in his head. He keeps the most of these feelings to himself because his group is already feeling so disheartened about their current situation that the last thing he'd want for them is to know that he's breaking emotionally, so he ends up taking less care of himself. He starts eating with the idea that he has to stay strong for his friends, but even those moments are rare. Food is scarce depending on what portal they are in, so when he finds food, he'll take anything that will keep his energy and strengths up.

By the end of it all, he's actually put on a significant amount of muscle. But it's kind of like a 'at what cost?' scenario.

Things get a bit better for him between then and Season 2 where he's eating better again and keeping all that muscle, but once Season 2 comes and goes, and with everything that happens in the Sunshine Institute and the Underneath, he loses a lot of weight.

It's only after Season 2, where he stays in BeaconTown and eventually finds a love life with Lukas when he really begins putting on weight once again. He's done with hero work. He's done with going on crazy life threatening adventures. Now he just wants to live life for himself rather than putting others first. Lukas helps him a lot through this, with body positivity and lots of love and affectionate touch, it's all the reassurance Jesse has ever needed to feel okay with being himself again. So he ends up putting on that happy weight that couples typically adopt over time when they're in a healthy relationship. Lukas treats him so, so unbelievably well. Finally Jesse gets to eat food for himself without the idea of needing to keep himself strong and powerful once he's finally retired. He indulges himself in his sweet tooth and loves to eat cookies, cakes, and other baked goods that Lukas will bake or bring home. He also really enjoys the fact that he doesn't have to eat alone anymore. He loves sitting at the table and enjoying a meal with his hubby. And the best part, which is something Jesse was horribly self conscious about, is that Lukas loves and adores his pudge. He is so supportive of Jesse's eating habits, but he doesn't hesitate to sneak veggies and fruits into Jesse's lunch box for work.

So yeah uh Jesse is chubby, buff and loved at the end of it all 😍

Here's some lil doodles of him I have lying around. The first one is pretty old and could probably use a touch up since now I don't see much of a difference, but you get the point ☠️

#mcsm #ask #my art #mcsm jesse #minecraft story mode #mcsm fanart #mcsm radar #jesskas

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russellsppttemplates · 1 year ago

Text

Uh oh, I'm falling in love (Lando Norris)

Y/N and Lando both have jobs that require good sight and attention to detail and yet they're oblivious to their feelings for eachother

Note: english is not my first language. I'm in a very fluffy mood, so I got really excited when I got this request! This also makes my expectations even higher and calls me single in about seventeen different languages at once...

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions a needle (for sewing)

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"Hey guys! How's everyone?", Max said to the camera as you made sure the set up was right, the screen showing his and Lando's faces on one screen and the table on the other like it was supposed to.

"As per your many, many requests, we have brought our graphic designer at Quadrant, Y/N", Lando announced as you appeared on camera, sending a very awkward first wave to the camera, "today's stream is little different than our usual programming, but it was the only way she agreed to be in one! You guys really wanted to see her, so we had to be creative!", Max said as he moved the friendship bracelets making kit into view on the table.

"Hey, Queen Taylor said we should make the friendship bracelets, so we're just following her!", you chuckled, looking at all the coloured threads and colourful beads, sorting them out and grabbing a pen and paper so you could draw your ideas.

"Since you guys wanted to get to know Y/N, can I tell them to send in questions?", Lando questioned you, "sure, I'll answer them to the best of mu ability", you smiled.

You were picking the letters you needed for the bracelet you were making when Max spoke up, "first one: how did you start working with Quadrant? I'd love to work on the team when I finish my degree!".

"I saw the job offer, and I must admit at first I didn't really know much about the company. I looked it up, looked cool enough and I sent my CV and portfolio in. So keep your eyes peeled for any offers, I guess? We have them now on the website, which was my doing, so you can check them out there if you want to be part of the team", you offered.

"I need help, guys", Lando said as he fiddled with his bracelet, the orange and grey beads with his initials sliding on the elasticated material, I can't do the closing knot on my own", he pouted as you placed your bracelet down.

"You have to flip it like this, here. Just put it on your wrist and I'll do the rest", you ushered him, your fingertips gingerly touching his hand and wrist as you quietly laced it, "this way we don't get frilly bits out and it looks pretty, see? Pretty!", you smiled, modelling his wrist for the camera.

Pretty, that's what he often thought about you. Not only pretty, but it was one of the first physical traits that came to mind.

"We should all have matching ones!", Max said as he completed his bracelet, impressively on his own, revealing the colourful beads with Quadrant spelled in white round beads with black letters, "I'll make one for each of you", he said as he watched you show your own, pink beads and a lyric he assumed was from a Taylor Swift song.

"I'll make Y/N's, she helped me after all", Lando said as one brave fan sent a comment into the chat.

He's so giddy to make Y/N a bracelet, it's a shame it will snap because of his lack of skills

Am I delusional if I say that they'd make a great couple?

If you're delusional, then what do I call myself? I still think they're making heart eyes at eachother whenever they catch the slightest glimpse!

We're joining forces, I think it's a noble pursuit!

He's a dork, Y/N, but you should give him a chance

Have you always known you wanted to be a graphic designer?

"I thought about different careers before I settled on this one, for now at least", you explained, "engineering was in the running up, but then I figured out that I was curious about how things worked, but that didn't mean that I wanted to be the one working on it. And this was a way to express my creativity, my strategy planning as well, and at the moment it's been quite good", you smiled as Lando grabbed your wrist softly, "I need to make sure this fits", he interrupted, "and it won't snap because I've learnt how to do it, thank you very much", he blushed. So he, too, was reading the comments, choosing not to dwell in them.

"Look, this way you always have a lucky charm with you everywhere you go, even if we're not together. We're eachothers lucky charms!", Lando announced as Max mafe a fake gagging noise.

"Are you all ready?", you said as you and Tara walked inside the room, clasping your watch on your wrist and hoping to find the boys ready.

Quadrant had been invited to a gala dinner that celebrated the companies in the same line of business, inviting five people to take part in the meal. After some team members politely declining the invitation since they had things booked already, the group ended up being Lando, Max, Callum, Tara and yourself.

The dress required everyone to up their usual style, hence the long dress you were wearing. Even though it was far from your usual everyday attire, you felt beautiful in the dress you ended up with after browsing the online shops for a while. The cut was simple, the skirt widening from your waist down and complimenting your curves as the sheen from the midnight blue fabric looked soft and sweet against your skin.

Lando seemed to think the same, trying his best to not let his mouth hang open when you and Tara walked inside their room, heels clicking on the wooden floor as you hurried them, "does it really take that long to put on a suit? I had to help Tara with the laces on her back and we still got ready faster than the three of you?", you asked, shaking your wrist to check if the dainty watch wasn't going to fall and that it wasn't too tight either.

Looking up to meet Lando's eyes, you were sure you physically and audibly gulped. No one should look that good in a plain white shirt. The cuffs were still unbuttoned, but the shirt itself was tucked in his black pants. He didn't have any jewellery, so his tanned skin caught your eye as it contrasted with his clothes.

"Lando has a problem with his shirt and we are trying to solve it", Max said, a little bit too antsy given that, at the naked eye, there didn't seem to be a big issue with the piece of clothing you had been inspecting quite closely.

"There was a loose button, and I tried to fix it, but I made it worse", Lando said as he pointed to the button on his hand, the slight movement showing you the place where it was supposed to he holding the piece together and closed.

"Three people in this room and no one thought about grabbing the sewing kit from the amenities?", Tara suggested, looking for it in the box that was the same as it was in your room, "see? Simple as that! Can you sew it, Y/N? My hand isn't fully healed yet, I can't quite grasp something that small yet".

Tara had injured herself earlier on in the week, prompting her to ask to tag out of the gala until you pleaded her to go so you wouldn't be alone, so she couldn't do it. None of the other guys seemed to even know how to pull the thread through the needle, so you grabbed the kit from Tara's hand, "sure, I'll do it", you said, "if that's okay with you, that is", you looked over at Lando.

"Sure, anything to solve this. Do I keep it on or should I take it off?", he questioned, wanting to slap himself straight after at his offer. Why would he volunteer to be shirtless in front of you? It certainly wasn't the way to go, shoving himself like that.

"On should be fine", you muttered, missing the snickers going on behind you as you wet the thread with your tongue, careful to not transfer any of the lipstick on it and ruining the piece without point of return for good, easily looping it through and adjusting the size of the ends.

"Button", you put your hand out so Lando could place it in your fingers, "I will do my best not to poke you, let me know if I do so accidentally", you mumbled at the closeness to him you found yourself in. It was the third button from the top, and as much as you loved the sight of the shirt slightly undone, the dinner required his shirt to be done up. Looping the thread on the button a few times, you moved to pierce the crisp white fabric so it would be secure, your hands dangerously close to his skin as you could hear his laboured breath. Lando still remembered and thought constantly about your fingers touching his hand and wrist when you did the friendship bracelets video for the YouTube channel, and right now, it only added to his predicament.

"It's done, all good!", you exclaimed, looking up as you cut the thread and seeing Lando's eyes on you. The intensity nearly threw you off of your balance as you stood the tiniest bit crouched down on your high heels.

Scrambling to further the distance between your bodies, you smoothed out the non existent wrinkles on your dress, storing the supplies back in the kit as Lando managed to utter out a thank you, too stunned and intoxicated by your scent to say anything else.

"I sewed a button as neither of you look any more ready that you were when we got here? We're going to be late!", you hurried, sitting next to Tara and ignoring her smirk as you scrolled through your phone.

"That shoot will have to wait since Lando won't be back here soon, then", you said, moving things around in the online shared calendar, "when did you say you could again? I'm sorry", you asked, rubbing your forehead and squeezing your eyes, adjusting your glasses and looking at him through the screen.

"The first weekend of the next month", Lando assured, "are you okay, Y/N?", he asked. The bags under your eyes didn't fool anyone and you looked tired. And sick, he guessed by the layers of clothing you had on.

"I had a pretty shit day, actually", you admitted, "I had to go with the guys from storage because there was an issue. The supplier sent the samples and we wanted to get things moving so I could have some ideas for the description and the social media team also wanted to prep the draft for the whole story telling, but it all went under. I also think I caught some bug, so it's been a fun day", you exaggeratingly smiled, mocking your own misery.

"You look like you need a hug, Y/N. Do you need a hug?", Lando asked as you nodded, "Actually, that would be pretty good, but I live alone. The neighbours would think I'm pretty weird if I went around like this asking for one, too", you reasoned.

Even though he wasn't next to you, Lando still managed to pull a smile out of you as he got up from the chair he was sitting in, hugging his laptop, "did you feel that hug?", he loudly wondered, "it's full of Get well soon fairy dust!", he smiled charmingly.

"Fairy dust, mate?", Callum wondered, reminding you of his presence in the videocall, "you try and spend more than a few hours with a little girl and you let me know. Mila has taught me all about fairy dust and princess magic", Lando added.

"How will we get out of here?", you wondered, starting to regret joining Lando, Max and Pietra when they said they were going to watch a football game. You loved the sport and you figured it would be a nice distraction after a work loaded week, but now, things were looking less than a distraction.

"We will let them space out once the game finishes, free up the roads as well because getting out of here will be a pain, too", Lando suggested.

The game granted your team a win and three points in the championship, the crowd going wild as they clapped, whistled and waved their scarfs, slowly leaving the stadium.

"Should we make a run for it now?", Pietra said, holding her boyfriend's hand as she allowed him to pull her away.

You followed Lando, thanking his choice of a colourful hoodie to wear today as it made it easier for you to spot him, "go in front of me, I'll back you up", he switched positions. You weren't having too much trouble until you were met with a ramp, people carelessly shoving others as they tried to leave as quick as they could, all with the same intent of avoiding traffic and crowded roads.

"Here, Y/N", you heard Lando as he grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers in his and pulling you along, excusing you two as you approached Max and Pietra again, "we're here", you tapped the blonde woman's shoulder with your free hand.

"Goodness, that was and adventure", she said once you reached the stadium car park, the crowd clearing up significantly as there was maybe another ten people headed the same way as you were now, "is everyone alright? I think someone stepped on my foot quite a few times, or many people stepped on it at various different times", you reasoned, walking alongside Lando still.

"Don't we need to hand the bracelets back?", Max said as he looked at the sign, taking his bracelet off and depositing it in the box in the booth, Pietra doing the same as you seemed distracted.

"Are you okay, Y/N?", Max asked, seeing you and Lando were still holding hands and, because of that, not taking off your bracelets.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?", you scrunched your eyebrows, "we need to hand the bracelets back in, so I kind of need to have yours, too", he teased, looking at your hand still entwined with Lando's.

Removing your hand from Lando's as if it har started burning all of a sudden, you removed the bracelet, apologising quietly to the stadium employee as you thanked him, "shall we go now?".

"Dinner out?", Lando gulped, getting into the driver's seat, "Good idea, yes", Max added, sitting in the passenger's seat as you and Pietra sat in the back, your hand rubbing your other hand that had been laced with Lando's own one for a long time. Uh oh, you were falling in love.

The launch was finally over after an amazing response from the fans, leaving your heart happy and warm with a sense of mission accomplished.

"Is everything packed into the van?", you asked Tara, "yes, it's just this box. It has fragile things, so do you think you guys can take it in the car with you? It probably only fits at the front, so you'll have to squeeze in with the boys on the back", she smiled apologetically, "it's fine, we'll keep eachother warm like penguins do", you chuckled, holding the door open as she set the box safely.

Saying goodbye to her and the rest of the team, Max and Lando joined you, "You sit in the middle seat", Max pointed at you, opening the door ao you could scoot closer to Lando and he could get in.

"Could you tell me how long we have until get back?", Lando asked the driver, "with traffic at this hour, I'd say around 90 minutes", he smiled, turning on the blinker so he could leave the car park.

"Plenty of time for me to catch up on sleep, then!", you cheered, making yourself comfortable in the space you had, folding your scarf into an impromptu travel pillow, closing your eyes.

"Are you a snorer?", Max asked, making you blindly swat his thigh, "only when I'm sick, and lucky for you, I'm in presteen health, no blocked nose", you grumbled.

It didn't take you long to fall asleep. In the last week, all of the nights combined, you probably slept less than thirty hours, so your body was indeed in need of rest.

"And there it goes", Max said as your pillow undid itself, Lando lifting his shoulder in reflex so your head wouldn't drop drastically, landing on top of him, "Good thing she isn't our engineer, hm?", he chuckled, looking at how his bestfriend was looking at you like you hung the stars and the moon.

"I think I'm in love with Y/N", Lando whispered after he took your appearance in. You had forgone wearing make-up today, so he could see all your moles and scars, your pouty lips and the darkened skin under your eyes. It took everything in him to not bend down and kiss your forehead.

"Congrats on being the last one to find out, mate", Max added, shaking his head, "I genuinely thought you had some issue processing information, I'm glad to find out you don't.

"Now you just have to act on it, which is going to take you, what? Two, three more months?".

#lando norris imagine #lando norris fluff #lando norris fanfic #lando norris x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fluff

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