#so technically i read for my friends technically i read cause i watched the movies technically i read cause of youtubers i liked and techni

[caleohateclub]

this is why i pray no one asks me how i got into percy jackson

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 1, Unarmed - Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Mild language, Bucky and Reader being Tolkien nerds, light fluff, mention of rabies (it's a super scary disease and we should all be vigilant, okay?!)

Word Count: 1.6k

Previously On...: You just had the pleasure of meeting the very handsome Bucky Barnes. Despite a little bit of awkwardness during your first encounter, you have a feeling your life is about to get a lot more interesting now that he's been introduced into it.

A/N: You know what? I said I wasn't going to do this, but I thought "fuck it!" and decided to post all of Chapter 1: Unarmed. My anxiety is too high to just sit on it. So, please enjoy Ch1. Pt2! Pts 3 & 4 to follow!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917

Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @blackhawkfanatic

The next evening, you were making your way back to your suite after a productive, albeit exhausting, day in your lab. You were working on a crisis prediction real-time monitoring system to anticipate global threats. You were convinced it would allow the Avengers to respond to trouble faster, but perfecting the privacy algorithm had been an absolute pain in the ass, and you still hadn't gotten it quite right. Technically, you could have farmed the project off to a subordinate; hell, even a team of subordinates of a subordinate, but this was one of your pet projects and you insisted on being hands-on in its development.

You had your tablet open as you walked, chewing on your thumb and reviewing the dataset from the run of your latest algorithm model one more time. Closer, but not good enough. If you were going to convince Tony that this was a program worth implementing, especially at its projected cost, everything had to be perfect. "Damn it," you muttered to yourself.

You rounded the corner and ran smack into Bucky's chest, dropping your tablet and causing him to drop the three books he'd been holding under his remaining arm. "Oh, shit-- I'm so sorry," you uttered as you bent down to retrieve the dropped items. Bucky leaned down to assist you, but you waved him off.

"’S my fault; I've got it," you told him, piling up his books for him. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Bucky leaned up against the wall and chuckled while you stood up and handed the books back to him. "I doubt you could hurt me," he said, smiling softly. "No offense."

You let out a small laugh. "None taken." He was a super soldier, after all. Stealing a glance at book spines, you couldn't suppress the smile that crossed your face. "Lord of the Rings," you nodded appreciatively. "Have you read them before?"

Bucky looked down at the books tucked under his arm. "No, first time. I read The Hobbit back when it was first published in '37, but these didn't come out until after..." he trailed off, but you knew what he meant. After he'd been abducted and brainwashed, turned into a murderer.

You nodded in understanding. "I'm actually really excited for you," you told him. "What I wouldn't give to be able to read them again for the first time."

"You a Tolkien fan, then?" he asked you. When you nodded, he continued: "When I finish them, maybe we can talk about them sometime? Steve's not really into fantasy."

"Yeah, I'd like that," you said. "If you're interested, we could watch the movies. I'll warn you though; they're long as hell, but their masterpieces. I mean, they didn't need to turn The Hobbit into three separate films, but still, they'll blow your fucking mind."

Bucky ran his tongue over his lower lip and you couldn't help but follow the motion with your eyes. "That sounds like fun," he said, his eyes twinkling with... something. "Your place or mine?" Was he… flirting with you?

"How 'bout you finish the books first, then we'll talk logistics," you teased. "Hey, speaking of, what floor did they end up putting you on?"

"Um, this one, actually," he said, tilting his head toward a nearby door.

"No shit," you remarked, laughingly. "You must have done something to piss Rogers off, because he put you right across the hall from me."

Bucky looked down, scuffing the toe of his boot against the carpeting. "He said it was the quietest floor, thought I'd prefer that."

You pursed your lips, considering. "Yeah, that makes sense; it's just been me on this level for ages. It'll be nice to have some company for a change."

Bucky looked surprised. "Stark's kept you down here all by your lonesome? That doesn't seem very nice."

You shook your head and dismissed his concern with a wave. "Oh, no-- Tony hates that I still live down here, actually. He put in all new living quarters a few years back. Everyone migrated upstairs, but I was the only one who didn't want to move."

"Why's that?" Bucky asked, appearing genuinely interested.

"I've lived here since I graduated college," you admitted, "back when it was still just Stark Tower. When Tony relocated here from Malibu to rebrand it for the Avengers, he wanted to redo everything, which meant fancy new suites for everybody. But I love my rooms, so I asked to stay put. They've been my home for so long now and I guess I just like the stability, you know?"

Bucky nodded thoughtfully. "And Tony thinks highly enough of you that he let the blow to his ego slide?"

You raised an eyebrow. "Maybe I have enough dirt on him that he felt like he didn't have much of a choice." You snorted, not able to keep up the pretense. "No, but seriously, I know you and Tony have a complicated... history, but he's not a bad guy. Ego as tall as this Tower, yes, definitely, but he's also incredibly kind and generous. He paid for my entire college education-- undergrad, post-grad, doctorate. I owe everything I have to him."

Bucky shifted against the wall. "That is pretty generous. And he never expected anything from you in return?" He didn't say the words out loud, but the implication was there. Had you slept with Tony in exchange for your diplomas? The innuendo should have bothered you, but it had been posed to you so many times over the years, you'd stopped being offended by it. Before Pepper, Tony had had quite the  reputation, after all, and an MIT education didn’t exactly come cheap. Most people couldn’t understand why he would offer a full ride to someone who, at the time, had been a complete stranger.

"Tony appreciates talent," you clarified. "When he finds it, he cultivates it, nourishes it, does everything he can to help it grow to its fullest potential. But he does like to get a return on his investments, and my skills have helped him make a lot of money." You shrugged your shoulders with a chuckle. "I love my job, I love the work we do, I love the stupid weirdo family we've built here, so I've always considered meeting Tony to be the best thing that ever happened to me. He's kind of like my own fairy godfather."

"So, what exactly does he have you do around here?" Bucky asked. "I know Steve said you did computer stuff, but you said it was an over-simplification."

You ran a hand up to rub the back of your neck while you considered your answer. How best to explain your position to someone who was born before the invention of the television? "Okay," you exhaled, "so, short answer is that I'm the CTO, the Chief Technology Officer, of Stark Industries and, under that, I run the Avenger’s Technology and Innovation Department. It's sort of our take on Research and Development. I've got a lab where I'm in charge of about 450 scientists, engineers, computer programmers, analysts, et. cetera. And our entire job is coming up with cool new ways of making things easier for the Avengers. Like, new features for suits, developing useful programs, coming up with new defenses and weapons, that kind of thing. And if we've got missions that require heavy computer- or tech-work, I come along for on-site support. I'm combat-trained and good with languages, so that comes in handy in the field. There’s probably a ton of field agents that could go in my place, but for Tony, it’s a matter of trust."

Bucky let out a low, appreciative whistle. "Damn. That's impressive. You're a little intimidating, you know that?"

Laughing, you tucked your tablet under your arm. "Please. I'm about as intimidating as a hamster." You paused to think. "Maybe a hamster with rabies, but still a hamster."

A series of beeps emanated from your tablet. As you pulled it out to check the alert, Bucky moved away from the wall. "I'm so sorry-- you were heading back to your room and I've basically been holding you hostage this entire time."

"Actually," you said, silencing the notification alarm that had distracted you, "That was just a reminder I set for myself to eat. Sometimes I lose track of time in the lab and completely forget to have dinner. Are you hungry? You could join me."

Bucky pulled his head back, regarding you as though he wasn't sure if you were serious.

"Or, if you don't want to, that's cool," you said quickly once you noticed his hesitation. "I mean, you wanted a quiet floor. Annoying neighbor is probably the last--"

"I'd love to," interrupted Bucky with a grin. "I'm just surprised someone like you would want to spend time with someone like me."

"Someone like me? Hey now, for all you know, I could be an absolute trash person," you teased, playfully punching him on the shoulder.

Bucky chuckled, his eyes sparkling with a newfound warmth. "Well, I highly doubt that, but I guess I'll find out soon enough."

"Don't say I didn't warn you when you do." You cocked your head toward the door to your room. "I'm going to change out of my work clothes. While I do, how about you decide what you're in the mood for, and we'll go from there. That sound good?" Bucky nodded as you let yourself into your room. The evening had taken an unexpected turn, but you found you were looking forward to spending more time in the company of Bucky Barnes.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[getyourdirtyhandsoffme]

SKZ Sub!Felix x Dom!FTM Reader

Summary: You are both roommates, you are stressed and need some relief and Felix being the best man he is, helps you by asking him for help.

Theme: Smut, is kinda short, comedy, fluff, kinda cringe

Warning: You don't have a bottom surgery however it is called a 'Dick'. Mentions of your dick being as Folds/Core but not as much. Practically Felix giving you a mighty good stress relief head and handjob. Kinda lazy but not...the grammar might be very bad. It's practically just Felix giving you oral, a handjob, and the end. You called him a good boy a few times. Hair pull and Head control (Felix receiving)

(This is all for fanfic, not real, yeah)

Author note: I finally made and posted something after all of these years...

please like, reblog, or/and comment on feedback etc

College was stressing you out; it was your junior year of college, and finals were coming up. You spend your days cramped in your room studying besides stepping out to get something to eat while your roommate, Felix, sits on the couch eating popcorn while watching his fifth movie, not bothered to notice your presence, not like you care anyway. 

You and Felix have been roommates for 2–3 years; technically, You both are best friends. You both thought living in an apartment together would be fun so you both did exactly that, sharing half of the money to pay the rent.  

He knew you were a transgender man when you first came out to him around your freshman year, giving him a heads up just in case he wanted to switch roommates; however, Felix stayed, not caring about gender, sexuality, etc. He was honestly chill with it, so you both got along right away, along with your hobbies and interests. 

You wasted your hours writing notes, reading, and not giving a single break, making you stressed and in need of relief. 

So, you pause the alarm as you lean back from your chair, staring at the ceiling, sighing from the headache that is making you rub circles on the sides of your forehead, hoping the ache can disappear. 

“I need to get laid.” You whispered to yourself as you looked down at your shorts, having the urge to just touch yourself—something to release the stress—so you did. You rubbed the lining of your boxers where your dick was feeling a bit of pleasure, filling your body and making you sigh.

It wasn’t much, it wasn’t enough; you needed more, but that’s all you got. You continued until Felix, the gentleman he is, barged into your room without even knocking as he stared at you in quite shock. 

You stopped what you were doing as you stared back, looking at him with a huge, concerned expression on your face.

“Felix, first of all...”

“I am so so so so sorry! It’s just that the movie I watched pissed me off, and I had to rant to someone, so I thought it was a good idea to rant it out to you since you are here and doing work, so I thought, ” Felix rambles while blushing furiously as he tries not to look at where your hand is placed. 

“Okay, Felix, first of all, please stop talking.” Felix immediately obeys, shutting his mouth as he just slowly blinks at you. 

“2nd, you should've knocked; you never know what I'm doing.” 

Felix frowns a bit as he looks to the side as he gets scolded by you.

“3rd, since you are here, I do need help.” Now that caught Felix's attention as he looked back at you, processing what you meant as he slowly turned red again.

“You want my help? I- uhh…” He stutters, causing you to just laugh at his sputtering.

“Come on, Felix, I know you want to at least touch me. Do you think I haven't noticed the way you looked at me or around my ex-lovers every time they kissed me? You bet you even wish you were them…”

“But better.” 

You looked at Felix as he stared at you, licking his lips.

“Yes, maybe. If you help me, that is... Unless you can’t prove it, then that's fine. I'll find another way.” 

Felix quickly shakes his head as he walks up to you, getting on his knees as he looks up at you for your permission to continue.

You nodded as you felt his hands reach through your shorts, pulling them down. He notices how wet you are from your boxers as he licks his lips one more time, his fingers teasing the lining of your dick, which causes you to shimmer in his touch.

“Come on, Felix, be a good boy for me. I’m desperate and in need of relief, you know that?” Felix blushes again at the pet name you have given him as he just nods, grabbing onto your boxers, pulling them down, and finally revealing your wet dick. 

Felix gulps as he brings back his fingers and starts touching around the wet folds, then to your sensitive dick from all of the rubbings you did. You moaned slightly, biting your lip as you stared down at the man, touching and touching.

His fingers rubbed your dick up and down, giving you a handjob. As his other hand moves his hair away, he gets ready to suck you off, but it keeps on coming back to the front, irritating the poor man.

So, being the nice roommate you are, you grabbed onto his hair and pulled back for him, almost taking control of his head. He moans from the stretch of his hair as he mumbles a ‘thank you’.

You felt his head leaning in from you, holding his hair in place, reaching through your dick, giving it a few kitty licks until he finally opened his mouth wider as he sucked your dick, making you moan, finally feeling the relief you needed. 

He was trying to multitask with his fingers rubbing your dick and his head giving you a good suck. 

His eyes were staring up at you, moaning from the pleasure that he was giving you, and he even felt himself getting confident from his actions, as he had never had sex before or something like this, so he was happy to see you enjoying it.

Your bottom hips move as you feel the sudden urge to take control of his head, wanting him to go faster, so you do. 

Firstly, you grip his hair, pulling his head back as his tongue was a bit out, staring at you confused, whimpering a bit from the loss of contact with his mouth to your dick.

You smiled as you leaned in, kissing his forehead and then his cheek, praising him for how good he was making him smile.

“Felix, do you mind letting me take control of your head?” Felix shakes his head. 

“No, darling, do you ever want, please?” You smiled as you pulled his head back to your dick, feeling his mouth already back into action as you kept his head in there, moving his head around for a bit.

“Just tap my thigh when you need a breather, alright?” 

His humming response vibrated through your core, making you moan slightly. 

“Fuck, you're so good at this, Felix. I almost feel like you are a natural, just for me. What good you are. 

He tapped your thigh for a breather. You pulled his head out to let him breathe as you noticed a bit of a wet spot on his sweatpants. 

You smirked, commenting on it, teasing him. "Oh, look, you even came untouched; how cute! Just from all of my praises. 

Felix looks away out of embarrassment.

“No need to be embarrassed; it’s cute, like I said. Now, let’s go back; I’m almost there.” Felix nodded as you pushed his head back in.

Felix sucked harder and faster, rubbing your dick at such a quick pace that you almost felt like you were in heaven. It was too good.

“Fuck, fuck~ Felix, I’m about to come!” You moaned as you tried to pull his head back, but he wouldn’t budge. He continued until you came. 

Felix pulled back a bit, as some of the substance was on his face. He licks around as he stares at the state you are in. 

You sighed, feeling your legs twitch a bit.

“Did I do good?” 

You nodded as you took the tissue that was on your desk and wiped its face off. 

“You did so well; I'm so proud of you. You are better than my exes.” You smiled as you gave him more kisses. “Thank you, Felix.”

“You’re welcome!”

[freak-accident419]

The Little Things

Josh Futturman x GN!Reader

Summary: Upset that Josh has been overly stressed and traumatized recently, you decide to surprise him with a short getaway, a temporary escape—you were going to take him to see a dinosaur.

WC: 1.8k

Content: fluff, mentions of death, gender neutral reader, short but sweet, kissing, listening to music, quiet yet comfortable company, few curse words

(A/n: this oneshot is heavily inspired by the movie Palm Springs which was brought to my attention from something @rynsfandomsfun reblogged—it was a sweet movie. Also, don’t play the preview of the song attached, but listen from the beginning when it plays in the fic :) )

-

“Hey. Wake up…”

Your gentle voice and light shaking seemed to do the trick as you sat patiently on the edge of his bed. “Y/n?” Josh grumbles drowsily, gradually waking up as he rubs his eyes with his fingers. “Shit… what time is it…?”

You chuckle amusedly at his demeanor. “Approximately two a.m. But that’s not so important,” you answer, watching him use his arms to lift himself up against his bed frame, now in a sitting position.

He faced you with groggy bewilderment until his eyes suddenly widened once they inevitably trailed over to your lap. “Shit—Y/n, is that the TTD?” Josh gasped. The revelation seemed to have woken him up completely, his shock clashing with your nonchalant smirk. “But that would mean—”

“Yes, I stole it from Tiger and Wolf while they were sleeping. And yeah, I’m aware they’d kill me if they ever found out, but they’ll never know we even left, ’cause lucky for us, now we have a damn time machine,” you grin softly.

“‘Left’? Wait, what—what are we doing?”

You chuckle, admiring the adorably confounded look on his face. You were so thrilled to break the news to him, anticipating his reaction. “I’m gonna take you to see a dinosaur.”

You didn’t mean to get tied into all of this. Well, technically, none of you were meant to. However, Josh was your best friend, and one day, you two hung out in his room as you watched him play and attempt to beat his favorite game Biotic Wars. And you never would’ve guessed the shit you both would go through after that.

As his best friend, you knew him very well and were able to read him even if he was across the room from you. Therefore, you could always sense when he was upset and miserably exhausted. So when those two airheaded dipshits from the future constantly mistreated and belittled him, you couldn’t help but feel resentment towards them and pity towards your best friend. And the moment you saw him covered in his co-workers’ blood after him witnessing his colleagues brutally chop them up to shove inside a possum incinerator, you were just about done with all of this bullshit.

So when the day became night, you snuck into Tiger and Wolf’s weird sewer hideout, stealing their TTD. And then you snuck into Josh’s house, planning to steal him too.

Josh’s face beams as he heard your proposal, and it was probably the first time you’ve seen him genuinely smile ever since he got involved in that savior crap.

“I’m gonna see a dinosaur?” You answered him with a smug nod. “You’re not fucking with me? I’m gonna see a dinosaur? H-holy—holy shit!”

You knew he wanted this before, hell, you were right there when he begged Tiger and Wolf for it back in 1969. And so, because of all the bullshit he undeservingly had to deal with, you wanted to give him a break or reward. You just wanted to see your friend happy again, like how he was before this entire mess.

In life, you had to enjoy the little things—which says a lot about your lives right now, considering that traveling back in time to see a dinosaur could be considered as such. The two of you needed a break, even just for less than a day where you didn’t have to worry about saving the world or killing people.

You take out an index card and found a pen on his desk. “What time is it?” You ask him, taking the cap off of the pen with your teeth.

“Uh, two—uh, two thirty-four,” he answered after glancing at the clock. “Am I—Am I seriously going to see a dinosaur? Are—are we actually going to the jurassic period?”

You scribbled down the time so you’d know when exactly you should get back, just to avoid any complications. “Yes,” your answer was muffled as you laugh softly, taking the cap out of your mouth to place it back over the pen. You shoved the note in your pocket then took Josh’s hand, helping him get up from his bed to stand up in his room. You open the TTD and began to play around with the controls.

“Do you even know how to use that thing?” He asked, looking over all the cryptic symbols and confusing interface, then back at you.

“Uhh, general idea,” you reply, clicking around the device some more until you finally placed your arm around his shoulder. “You ready, Josh?”

He blinked, then nodded eagerly. “Are you serious? Hell, yeah! Holy shit! No way! I’m gonna see an actual, fucking dinosaur!”

You weren’t quite used to the feeling of traveling through time, but at least it got easier every time you did. Bright blue lights and volts surrounded the two of you, feeling a gust of wind blow into your face and whole being, and even heat from the electrical currents. And then, in less than five seconds, you two appeared in a jungle, late at night, in the late jurassic period.

***

You two sat down on a thick branch of a tallish tree, the soft light of the moon kissing your faces. It was dangerous to be in such a wild and unpredictable time, surrounded by deadly, barbaric creatures, so the tree would be a pretty safe place to watch the dinosaurs from. Except the surrounding area was practically empty, so you just waited for them to emerge.

Your shoulders brushed as you enjoyed the silence between the two of you—which was actually ceased fairly quickly once Josh communicated a thought that had practically gnawed at him for days.

“Hey, I just wanna say I’m, uh… I’m sorry that I dragged you into this, Y/n,” he finally says, looking at you pitifully. He looked really nice in the moonlight, you thought. “Wolf and Tiger, they’re insane, and I—shit, if I never invited you over then none of this would fucking—”

“Hey, hey, shut up, will you?” You snickered, offering a forgiving grin. “You didn’t drag me into this. The both of us never would’ve expected any of this bullshit, okay? Like, genuinely.” Josh nodded, but you still sensed some remaining guilt in him. “Hey. If I was gonna be wrapped into this crazy fucking mess with somebody, I’m glad it was with you. You’re my best friend. My ride or die.”

The corner of his lips curled into a sweet, appreciative smile. “Thanks,” he replied coyly. “And, uh, thanks for this. I know there’s no dinosaurs right now, but… I really appreciate the gesture. Like, Tiger and Wolf, they would’ve—”

“They definitely would’ve killed me, yes,” you laughed softly. “But… you’re worth all the crazy fucking discipline.”

With this lighting, you could never see how his cheeks flushed pink. But you knew he was blushing, from how the corner of his eyes crease and the way his wide smile accentuated his cheeks, revealing his pearly white, perfect teeth. He lets out a quiet giggle, and the two of you continued to watch the horizon of the dark, yet mesmerizing prehistoric view.

You two held each other’s hands, interlocking one another’s fingers warmly, placing the clasped fists between each other. There was some kind of unspoken thing between you two that you never had time to figure out, mainly because of the recent things you’ve been dealing with. But it was still there, that strange, lingering feeling.

And then…

“Holy shit!” Josh gasped abruptly, sitting up, patting onto your shoulder repeatedly, then pointing his finger far out into the distance. “Y/n, look, shit, Y/n, Y/n, Y/n—”

“Wh—” Your breath hitched as you saw it in front of you. “Shit…”

The several long necks and small heads of brontosauruses were in the distance, peeking out of the whole jungle and its trees, walking slowly towards the left in front of the iridescent moon.

It was beautiful. You never expected it to be. Actually, you really didn’t expect anything, you thought it’d be too surreal to even process. But they were exactly like the history books. They were like the CGI graphics in film and games, the images displayed near their exhibits at museums, the small long, plastic figures that come in clear tubes, and hell, a scene from Spielberg’s Jurassic fucking Park.

“They’re beautiful…” Josh sighs in complete awe.

“They really are…” you mutter, still fascinated by it all, watching the family of dinosaurs walk slowly together, letting out low moans and stomps with each heavy step.

Abruptly, you take out your phone from your pocket, as well as some earbuds. You plug it in, help Josh with the left earpiece and put the right one in yours. And then, you clicked onto a song that you had downloaded prior.

The gentle song began to play softly in your ears. The two of you were mesmerized by the beauty and magnificence of these creatures that you never thought you’d ever see. Your head moves down to rest on Josh’s shoulder as you two admired the dinosaurs from afar. The light pressure of you against his shoulder tickled him slightly, which he gulped at, heat rising to his cheeks. Your contact against him felt warm and you felt safe. Even though this was a place where you would most likely get mauled brutally by ‘clever girl’s, you felt nearly invincible with your best friend by your side.

“This is amazing…” he whispered, astonished.

“Yeah,” you sigh, mocking his quiet speech.

A pause.

“You’re amazing…”

You slowly pull away from his shoulder curiously, your eyes leaving the direction of the large, majestic animals. Your eyes look deeply into his, again, the moonlight shining exquisitely on the side of his face, bright enough to reveal some of the hazel tint in his irises. You felt your eyelashes flutter each time you looked from his eyes to his lips. He, too, looked at you intimately and fondly. And then your eyes closed gently once you feel his lips press against yours, hearing the song continue in your ears. The entire moment felt so magical, that you weren’t sure if it was because of the fact that you were in a place where dinosaurs existed or that you were kissing the person you’ve always admired.

You pull away slowly, a silent exchange of eye contact, before kissing him again, with more passion and less hesitance, letting your hands rest behind his neck.

There were no more words between the two of you after. In a good, serene way. Parting from his lips, you rested your head back onto his shoulder, feeling his arm around you from the back and his hand holding your waist. And you two continued to watch the dinosaurs under the stars, holding each other’s hands once more. Enjoying the little things, for now.

You could let this moment go on forever. After all, with the TTD, you had all the time in the world.

[yagirlwrites]

(Not) My Baby (5)

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Synopsis: Y/N is having girls night with her roomates when an odd call comes in. Rafe and Y/N meet up to discuss the wedding plans. Drama ensues.

A/N: Hiii! It's been a while, I know! Yet again, I apologize for the long wait. Hopefully this longer chapter makes up a little for how late it is 😅 I hope you all enjoy it! This one is funny and silly, with lots of girly dynamics, but also Rafe and the drama that always comes when they're together 🤭 There might be some sexual tension in this one but our girl loves to stay delulu 🤷🏻‍♀️

Series Masterlist

My work is my own; it's not to be copied, transferred or translated. Reblogs, comments & feedback are always welcome and appreciated❤️

Happy reading! 🥰

(Not) My Baby (Part 5)

She was putting the finishing touches on dinner when her phone buzzed on the counter with an incoming message. The salmon and veggies were still sizzling in the pan, the aroma of a freshly cooked meal making her insides flutter with both hunger and gratitude.

After the past several days, she was glad to finally be back to normal. At least, as normal as it gets under these strange circumstances she found herself in; because of a selfish, conniving, bit- No! No thinking about him tonight. Tonight is for the girlies.

Y/N, Stella and Lena all found themselves having a family dinner after quite a while. Deciding to put each other first and spend a peaceful evening together - complete with a cheesy horror movie and delicious food. Tonight was going to be fun and she wasn't going to let thoughts of him ruin that for even a moment.

A moan could be heard from the direction of the couch where Stella was impatiently waiting for food to be ready. She had been going on about how 'hangry' she had been all day and how much she missed Y/N's cooking. Even though Stella was a decent cook, and Lena could technically fry an egg, it was a known fact in their household that Y/N made "food for the soul". That's exactly what all three of them needed, all of them buzzing with excitement. Even Lena had turned her phone on silent and vowed not to text Kelce the whole evening, wanting to focus on her best friends she felt she had been neglecting.

"Hurry up, please!" Stella's whining made Lena roll her eyes and smack her shoulder causing the girl to pout in mock hurt. "I am an injured woman!"

Y/N laughed as she walked into the living room holding onto the food tray, thinking about how much she missed when all three of them were together like this.

"You'll live." Lena replied without missing a beat, plopping herself down on the chair next to the couch, while the chef presented them with their dinner. Stella's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree and even Lena couldn't stop a smile from breaking through.

"Oh this smells so fucking good, Peach! Come to mama!" She practically jumped to fill up her plate, completely ignoring the other two who smirked at each other, knowing how she gets when she's hungry.

Lena had chosen a movie for them to watch while they eat and decompress. It was some old horror with bad practical effects, demons and gore - perfect for the occasion. They spent the first 20 minutes of the film just enjoying their food in peace while trying to catch up to the plot. Even though the movie was silly it was still spooky and they loved that. Once the food was finished, Stella cleared their plates and brought back ice cream for them to share. The movie was getting real weird and scary when buzzing broke through the intense atmosphere they were in. Stella gasped, dramatically; Lena spared a glance in the direction of the glowing phone and shot Y/N a glare for the interruption. She realized someone was calling her.

"Who the fuck calls?" She mumbled, begrudgingly getting up from her comfy position on the couch to grab the phone and end the annoying buzzing. There are only three people who ever called her, albeit rarely, and two of them were in the room with her. The third one being her mother and she never called this late.

Looking at the screen, her eyes widened and a panicked "what the fuck" left her mouth. The girls both looked her way in confusion, seeing her staring at her phone.

"What?" Stella whispered, as if talking any louder would disturb the fictional characters on the screen.

"Guys..." Y/N slowly turned her phone to face the girls and they both gasped in unison.

"What the fuck?!" Lena jumped from her chair and took her phone from her hands as if it were a trick of the eye and the words on the screen would change once in her posession. But the caller ID hadn't changed...it still clearly said "Devil's Spawn".

The movie forgotten, the silence was now filled with only the incessant buzzing. Whoever it was was not letting the call drop.

"Answer it." Lena spoke causing Stella to jump from the couch.

"Are you insane! No, do not answer that! That is horror movie 101 right there!"

"This isn't a horror movie, this is real life , Stel." Lena responded, exasperatedly. Y/N gulped, Lena's words ringing true.

"...Hello?" Her voice still nearly trembled with trepidation, but she managed to keep it steady. If this was some psycho demon she was not showing any weakness.

"Finally!" A breath of relief left her, and she closed her eyes trying to calm her racing heart.

"Why the fuck are you calling me?" Her voice now taking on a note of clear annoyance, hinting to the girls who might be on the other end of the line.

"Well, hello to you too, Y/N/N." She could just feel Rafe's eyes rolling through the phone. She was not amused.

"Why are you calling, boomer?" He scoffed out a laugh at that one.

"Well if you answered your texts I wouldn't have to call like some boomer, would I?" She rolled her eyes this time, looking down at her phone to see she had several unread text notifications.

"What's so urgent it couldn't wait until morning, then?" She wanted this conversation to be over and for him to stop constantly ruining her fun.

"I need your measurements." "What?" She was dumbfounded at his random request.

"For the dress? My stepmom's been on my ass about getting her your measurements for weeks so if you could-"

"Oh, you mean while I have been blissfully unaware of your schemes? Good times." She sighed wistfully and he had to take a deep breath to calm down.

"Yes. Could you just send me your measurements so I can give them to her, please?" He sounded mildly desparate and quite irritated and she would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy that.

"Hmmm... fine. But only so I can end this conversation sooner." He sighed on the other line.

"Great, whatever." She scoffed at his attitude.

"You're such a brat." She couldn't see it but his eyebrows rose at her remark, a disbelieving smile on his face.

"A brat? That's a new one." She rolled her eyes once again at his attempt to keep the conversation going after she made it clear she wanted it to end.

"Yep, that's you. Bye, now! Don't call me again." She hung up the phone before he had the chance to respond and she smiled in satisfaction at her small victory. Lena and Stella were both staring at her, the former unimpressed and the latter barely holding in a laugh.

"What?" Y/N shrugged in confusion.

"Devil's Spawn?" Lena posed the question and Stella finally burst into laughter.

"Okay, yeah. So I might have saved his number under that name... And then forgot I did it." Y/N gave them both a sheepish smile, hoping they let it go and that they could forget the past 5 minutes ever happened.

"And in my defence, you were also freaked out for a minute!" Lena scoffed, faux offended, while Stella nodded somberly.

"It was the movie. It made us paranoid." Stella whispered again and the other two girls agreed.

"Sooo... Keep watching?" "Fuck yes!" "Lets do it." The trio agreed and made themselves comfortable in their assigned seats again, resuming the film. Y/N couldn't help but check her phone to see the texts he had sent her before that awkward phonecall.

Devil's Spawn: hey sry 2 bother u at girls night but could u send me ur measurements?

Devil's Spawn: my stepmom needs them

Devil's Spawn: for ur dress n stuff

Devil's Spawn: btw she made reservations at the Modiste 4 Tuesday so u can try some stuff out

Devil's Spawn: pls lmk the measurements asap

She read through his texts with a raised brow. How did he know they were having girls night? Kelce must have told him, she guessed. The Modiste? What was this, Bridgerton? A scoff escaped her, met by shushing from Stella by her side. Her friends were once again deeply engulfed in the film playing on their TV screen. Y/N, however, was distracted.

She couldn't stop thinking over everything that had happened recently. Thinking about Rafe, or the 'Devil's Spawn' as she had aptly named him. She had forgotten all about the little nickname she dubbed him with in her phone, right until she picked up and heard his voice. Then it came back to her - the group chat Lena had created to keep them all in the loop over a trip they had planned, her tipsy and giggling to herself while she saved his contact at how funny and clever she was. Truth is she never expected to use it, she just wanted to spite him, even if it was petty and just for her own amusement. But that was so long ago now, and the little rebellion completely escaped her memory. Which is why she had given into the horror induced paranoia tonight. It was funny though, even funnier since it was all three of them who fell for the spooky caller. She looked over at her friends, smiling. She had missed this so much. She finally let herself sink back into the couch and tried watching the rest of the movie but she soon dozed off from exhaustion.

The next day she woke up groggy and confused. She realized she was still on the couch, but this time alone and covered by a blanket. The girls took care to make her comfy before going to their respective beds. She took a deep breath, looking at the time on her phone seeing it was just past 7, wondering if she should just move to her bedroom and go back to sleep when a text came through.

Devil's Spawn: can u send me those measurements??

She rolled her eyes at his insistence and lack of patience. It's not like she had the numbers lying around. She needed to measure herself first. That would prove a challenge since she didn't have a tape measure. She pondered on whether Stella might have one when Lena made her way into the living area.

"Oh, you're up?" Lena had been an early bird for as long as she knew her. Stella was the opposite, she could sleep forever. Y/N was somewhere in between, not quite a morning person like Lena, but definitely not comfortable staying in bed until the afternoon.

"Yeah. Morning." Y/N rubbed her tired eyes giving her friend a sleepy smile.

"Good morning." Lena smirked and went to the kitchen to start on her coffee.

"Hey, do you have a tape measure?" She asked in hopes she wouldn't have to wake up Stella and risk losing a limb.

"A tape measure? Why?" Lena's confusion echoed from the kitchen area and Y/N slowly got on unsteady feet to patter closer to her.

"Just need to take my measurements." She sighed, smelling the coffee Lena was brewing.

"Why?" Lena repeated the question and she knew she wouldn't let it go, she was stubborn like that.

"Rafe needs them." Lena gave her a knowing look. Knowing of what she was unsure. He was such a pain in her ass.

"Why does Rafe need your measurements?" Lena posed the question as she pulled out two mugs and started filling them with the precious liquid.

"I don't know. Something about his stepmom and the wedding. Do you have one or not?" Y/N grabbed the oat milk from the fridge and handed it to Lena who thanked her with a smile.

"Not." Lena poured herself a bit of milk and Y/N a generous amount. The girl was looking at her friend with a deadpan expression after her answer.

"Stel does, though." Y/N groaned, realizing she'd have to sneak into her best friend's room because of Rafe. Ruining her day before it even started, the prick.

"Do you know where she keeps it?" She asked hopeful, praying it might be a quick in and out mission and the risk of waking the lion would be low.

"Hmm. No, sorry. Maybe her desk drawers? That's where she usually keeps her craft supplies." Lena shrugged and took a long sip of her coffee, closing her eyes in pleasure at the strong aroma waking up her tastebuds.

Y/N let out a breath and braced herself for the mission ahead. It would be fine. Stella was probaby knocked out cold. She'd just do a quick check and if she can't find it in the drawer she'd text Rafe to leave her the hell alone until Stella woke up. She crept into Stella's room, her sock clad feet making as little noise as possible as she inched towards the desk. She was almost there when Stella stirred and she froze in place, bracing for an attack. But it never came and Stella kept snoring. She sighed out in relief and went searching through the desk with minimal noise. She managed to find it, in the last drawer of course.

She retraced the footsteps back out of the room and felt impressed when she made it to the living room without waking her friend. Maybe she could be a spy or a cat burglar cause that was seriously cool. Lena was looking at her with a blank expression as she crept back to the kitchen. She swore she had the two most dramatic women for roomates. Stella took the cake of course, but Y/N definitely acted up sometimes and gave Stella a run for her money. It was hard being the reasonable one in the household.

"I got it." Y/N whispered, showing off the prize.

"Good job, bub." Lena said, semi sarcastically, but Y/N just grinned proudly.

"Can you help me?" Lena rolled her eyes but got up to help her friend. They had to look up instructions on how to take measurements correctly and wrote them down in Y/N's notes app. It took longer than they thought it would. Once they finally finished, she sent them to Rafe with what she deemed an appropriate warning.

Baby: here are your damn measurements

Baby: I expect you to be a lot less pushy from now on

Baby: I'm doing you a favor, don't forget that

Lena had packed up her stuff and left the apartment not long after and Rafe responded in suit.

Devil's Spawn: why thank you your holiness I wouldn't dream of being pushy with thee again

She scoffed at his idiotic response just as the next text came in.

Devil's Spawn: u want me to buy u a purse for ur troubles madam?

Baby: that's sexist

Devil's Spawn: so that's a no on the birkin?

She rolled her eyes and decided to ignore him and his sarcastic little messages. She could feel how tired she still was and since it was a day free from classes she figured going back to bed might be her best option. She poured her coffee into a bottle and put it in the fridge for later and then made herself comfy in her own bed. After a night on the couch her back was screaming in protest. She had to remember not to fall asleep in the living room again because her back hurt for days every time it happened. She was just about to fall into a slumber when her phone buzzed on the night stand. She almost groaned but checked it anyway.

Devil's Spawn: can we meet 2day?

She hated the way he texted. Was it so damn hard to just spell out an entire word? She was about to ignore him but the phone buzzed again.

Devil's Spawn: we need 2 go over some stuff 4 wedding

She groaned into her pillow after reading that. Couldn't she go one day without dealing with his bullshit? One day without thinking about the damn wedding she is forced to attend with him? At least she had the car, she reminded herself and smiled. She hadn't had much of a chance to drive it yet, so why not take advantage of it?

Baby: fine. 6pm at Rooftop

The Rooftop Bar was a gorgeous place right outside of town at one of the hotels overlooking the ocean. It was a 30 minute drive so she could enjoy the ride and the beautiful view. That was at least one good thing to come out of this whole mess.

Devil's Spawn: ok see u

With one final eye roll she finally laid her head on her soft pillow and traveled all the way to dreamland. Unfortunately so did her thoughts of a certain irksome boy and his blue-green eyes.

--------

After waking back up around 11, she went on with her day somewhat normally. However, the cloud of her approaching meet up with Rafe kept gnawing at her mind, never letting her fully relax. She debated cancelling at least 20 times, but she didn't. She knew it was time to accept her fate and make peace with the predicament she was in. She reminded herself she'll be getting something out of the deal too. That and the car. She smiled at the thought of the Mustang parked in front of their building.

It was only a few days ago that Rafe reluctantly handed her the keys to his most prized posession. He was sulking the entire time, a pout on his face she would have made fun of if she hadn't been so damn excited nothing could rain on her parade. And frankly, taking something from him that he loved would probably humble him a little and he desparately needed some humbling.

She had been eyeing the Mustang for years. She didn't know a lot about cars but she always liked the classics, fawning over them if she saw one on the road. She didn't care for the men driving them, obviously. She just found older cars to have more character, as most new cars all looked exactly the same to her - she couldn't even tell you what make any uber she'd ever taken was. But the old cars were different, pretty, special. She had always wanted to drive one but never had the opportunity. Suffice to say she had been jealous of Rafe having such a gorgeous car, believing a dickhead like him did not deserve it. And as soon as she had the idea to barter for it, she was ecstatic.

When she slid into the sleek leather seat, turned the key and heard the engine roar, she was in heaven. Rafe's misery at the arrangement was quite enjoyable too, given that he put her in such an impossibly awkward position in the first place. She felt it was only fair he suffer as well. So she didn't feel guilty driving away from him, in his old Mustang, while he looked after her with anger and sadness as she left him in the dust.

She hadn't told her friends what she was going to do, what she would ask of him in the end. They were mad at her for keeping them in suspense and she knew they'd lose their minds once she drove home in Rafe's baby.

She had barely stopped the car in front of their building when she impatiently dialed Stella's phone. Once the girl answered, Y/N only relayed a quick, criptic message of her "coming downstairs, now" and hung up. Stella had been confused but made her way out of the building all the same. As soon as she saw her in the black Mustang, Stella's jaw dropped and Y/N couldn't hide her smirk.

"No. Fucking. Way." Y/N just laughed at her friend's shocked expression.

"You took his car!? Oh my God, you're an evil genious! Remind me never to piss you off." Stella joked as she ran to hug her, both of them beaming in excitement.

"How did you convince him to give you his car? That's like his baby!" Stella shook with nerves and excitement.

"Like you guys said, he couldn't say no." Y/N shrugged, seemingly chill. However, she also couldn't quite believe she managed to get him to give her his fucking car. He really was desparate for this deal to work, otherwise he would have told her to go fuck herself and never spoke to her again. What a mess. But hey, it was a mess he got them into himself and she wasn't going to pass up a good opportunity by feeling guilty about it. He was a dick and he deserved a nice portion of humble pie.

It wasn't until later that night, while Stella and Y/N were in the apartment doing their respective work, that Lena burst through the door looking dishevelled, like she ran all the way to the third floor. The two girls were completely bewildered at their friend until she spoke.

"Where's Rafe?" Lena was looking around the apartment expecting the boy to pop up from behind a counter or something.

"I don't know? What-" Y/N started, but was interrupted.

"Why is his car in the parking lot?" Once Lena posed the question the two girls gave each other a knowing, mischievous look. Lena looked at them confused.

"About that..." Y/N started the story. Suffice to say Lena had been thoroughly shocked and amused by the ordeal.

"I can't believe you took his car. You are devious. He loves that thing more than himself." Lena chuckled and Y/N rolled her eyes.

"Well, that just isn't true or he wouldn't have agreed." She smirked and the girls nodded in agreement. Lena praised her for her nerve and Y/N thanked Lena for giving her the push to go after what she wanted.

That was two days ago and aside from classes she hadn't had a chance to drive her new car which was tragic considering how excited she was to have it. But tonight that changes. She'll finally have an oportunity to get in her new Mustang and cruise. She was buzzing with butterflies at the prospect. She had picked the location of their meeting specifically so she could enjoy the drive there and back. Also she really loved the place, rarely getting a chance to visit it. It had a gorgeous view, loads of fresh air and affordable drinks. What was not to like?

She decided to put some effort into how she looked tonight, wanting to enjoy herself to the fullest, ignoring the fact that the person she'd be meeting would probably piss her off at some point. She chose to focus on the fun parts of the evening. She picked out a cute outfit, leather jacket in tow, put on a red lip and looked herself over in approval. This is exactly the aesthetic she wanted, the kind befitting a girl driving a car like that. She grinned in excitement and got ready to leave.

She had told the girls she'd be meeting Rafe tonight and she was glad they weren't home to see how much effort she put into her appearace. She knew they'd assume it was for him when it wasn't. Not even a little bit. She was dressing for herself. And while that usually meant comfort to the max, she really wanted to look good tonight.

------

The drive was peaceful, filled with her favourite playlist and the roar of the Mustang she was falling in love with. The sea air was refreshing, helping her calm herself down. No matter how much she was enjoying her ride, the fact was it would end with meeting him. She tried so hard to keep herself cool and carefree but when it came to him it was an impossible feat. He always managed to get under her skin, no matter how much she claimed she didn't care. This whole situation was so messed up and she hated him for putting her in it. It was so absurd she couldn't believe she agreed to it. Even with the stunning automobile she was currently driving.

She forced herself to put it out of her mind for the rest of the trip; so she could enjoy the wind in her hair, fresh air in her lungs and Chappell Roan on the stereo.

Once she stopped the car she noticed he was already there, she could see his bike in the parking lot. A very nice bike, she had to admit. But of course it was, his family was loaded, he only had the best of the best. He had tried making her feel bad about taking his mode of transportation, knowing full well he had his bike to fall back on. She scoffed at the memory. What a bitch.

She had hoped she'd get there first and perhaps have a drink in peace before having to deal with him but alas the universe was not on her side tonight. Well, it seemed like it hasn't been on her side for a while.

Putting aside her anxiety, she held her head up high when she entered the hotel, beelining for the elevator that led to The Rooftop Bar where Rafe was waiting for her. He was early, she realized. It wasn't even 6 o'clock when she parked the car and he was there already. He wasn't usually late, as far as she remembers from their hang outs, but she doesn't think she'd seen him be early either.

Once she stepped out into the fresh evening air she felt herself relax slightly. The twinkling lights spread around the open-air bar were beautiful and the view of the coast breathtaking. She loved the smell of the sea, it always brought her peace. She supposed that's part of the reason why she chose this place, to help her out while she dealt with the one person who always managed to get under her skin.

Her eyes moved across the rooftop until they met his blue ones. He was sat at one of the tables closest to the edge, one with a great view. His eyes had been on her since she stepped foot out of the elevator, having been anxiously waiting for about 20 minutes. He wasn't sure why he came so early but for some reason he just didn't want to be late and risk angering her.

He had the chance to take her in before she noticed him. And boy was she a sight to behold. She looked good, too good. With a dress that hugged her curves just right and a black leather jacket making her look sexy and cool.

She always looked good when they were out together with their friends but for some reason he thought she looked extra nice tonight. Perhaps she was trying to mess with his head. Or maybe she wasn't thinking of him at all when she got dressed. Which was a thought that kind of stung given how much effort he put into his own outfit. He changed at least four times, feeling shockingly nervous to see her. He spent the whole day anxiously awaiting 6pm. He wasn't sure why he was feeling so amped up, maybe because they were meeting up alone, in a really nice and maybe even romantic place. Maybe because it was finally setting in that this whole thing was really happening and that less than two weeks from now they'd be playing a couple in front of his entire family. He chose to chalk his nerves up to the latter, not wanting to dwell on anything else.

It would have been comical, how fast her body language changed once she saw him, if it didn't cause a sharp pain in his chest. A moment ago she had seemed relaxed and maybe joyful but the moment their eyes met she stiffened up, as if she had to be on guard around him. It sucked, thought he knew she had every right to be upset with him, he did put them both in an awkward predicament. It still kind of stung that she felt so unwelcoming toward him. He chose not to dwell on that either and gave her a nod in greeting.

She mentally prepped herself on the walk over to their table, trying to remind herself that she is a grown woman and this man couldn't unhinge her unless she let him. And she wouldn't let him.

"Hey." He stood suddenly and rushed to pull her chair out, the action taking her by surprise.

"Hey. Thanks." She gave him a small awkward smile and he nodded, sitting back into his own chair across from her and waving over a waiter.

She took him in while he was distracted. He looked good and she hated it. With a button up and a leather biker jacket draped over it, he looked efortlessly cool. She was worried for a minute she might be slightly overdressed and he'd be in his usual t-shirt and backwards cap combo but he seemed to have cleaned up too. She supposed it was this place. It had a fancy vibe that made people want to dress just a little nicer for it. That was it, no other reason.

The waiter came and took their order, she realized he had not ordered a drink yet so he must have gotten here only minutes before her. He ordered a craft beer the waiter recomended and she asked for a fruity cocktail. One drink wouldn't hurt, it would help with her nerves. One drink only though, so she could safely drive back home.

"Thanks for meeting me today." He gave her a sweet smile and she responded with a mere nod, not willing to risk speaking when she felt so confused about how nice he was being. It was uncharted territory and she didn't trust it. She had to keep herself on guard.

"I love this place." He looked around with a small genuine smile, and she could tell he was being sincere. "It's a shame we don't come here more often."

"It is, yeah." She gave a tentative smile as she agreed with him. Another extremely unusual occourence - the two of them agreeing on somehing. The silence started dragging on so she decided to stop it before it spread any longer and it became awkward.

"So, what is it you wanted to discuss?" Her voice took him by surprise, breaking him out of a haze he found himself in for a moment.

"Oh, um. Just, stuff for the wedding. We should be prepared, you know." He looked sheepish and her suspicion was rising.

"Sure. So go ahead." She gave him a pointed look.

"Hm?" He looked out of it and her brow furrowed.

"Tell me more about this wedding. Your family. You know, prepare?" She was looking at him oddly, slightly concerned with how airheaded he seemd to be acting.

"Oh, of course yeah." He nodded and readied himself to spill the beans.

"Right. So we should probably start with my family." He looked uncomfortable saying it but she agreed. It did seem like the most important part. Getting them to believe they were a couple.

"Yeah, so theres my dad, my stepmom - her name is Rose, by the way - and my two little sisters." As he recounted his family dynamic and threw in tidbits of information she should probably be aware of, she found herself in awe for a moment. She had known he had sisters but she did not expect the love he exhibited while talking about them.

He mentioned how his relationship with Sarah had been rocky when they were younger but they found a way to communicate in the past year and how relieved he was that they were finally talking again. That he missed her. There was an embarrased but endearing blush on his cheeks at the revelation that made her smile. Once he noticed it, he smiled too. It was an oddly comfortable moment between the pair.

He spoke of his younger sister Wheezie with unbridled adoration, retelling a few childhood stories that made them both laugh. It was weirdly nice, sitting there together like that. Neither of them really expected it to feel that way. Almost, natural. Like they were just two regular people, sitting in a bar and chatting about their lives over drinks.

Soon enough the mood shifted as the story got to his father - Ward Cameron. She found herself bearing resentment towards the man and she'd barely even met him. He was always pompous at any event he'd come to at their college but she wasn't too bothered by him. She knew how to work people like that, figure out what they're like, tell them what they want to hear and she'd be golden. But the cloud over Rafe's head as he spoke about his dad made her heart clench with empathy for the boy. She couldn't imagine having such a terrible relationship with your father that you'd look so miserable at the mere mention of him. It tugged at her heart.

He explained how Ward very much cared for appearances, which she knew already. He mentioned that he always saw Rafe as a disappointment and he really didn't want to be one anymore. She kind of felt bad for him even though in his desparation to impress his dad he put her in this shitty position. The ice around her heart was slowly melting. She still hated the entire ordeal, obviously, but she kind of understood why this was important to Rafe.

She still didn't like that he was using her as a pawn in his game of "win dad's approval" and she wouldn't pretend otherwise no matter how much of a sob story he sold her, though. She knew he was laying it on thicker than necessary to try and gain her sympathy. And while it kind of worked, the method didn't go unnoticed and she resented his manipulation tactics.

He described his stepmother as a vain woman, just as obsessed with image as his father, which made sense. She wasn't sure if his negative image of her was warranted or not, given that she'd never met the woman. She decided to keep his warnings in mind but leave an open mind for Rose. As far his sisters went she already knew she'd like them. She just felt bad that she'd be lying to them. That part sucked.

He mentioned some of the influential people who would be attending this wedding, and she was kind of surprised with just how many people relevant to her future career would be there in one place. And she'd get the chance to network. This really was a good opportunity for her, he wasn't lying when he said that. She was impressed.

She knew he was smart, but it took her by surprise just how much he knew about who she'd be interested in meeting and even giving her some pointers on how to impress a few of them he knew more closely. Rich people really do all stick together. She almost scoffed but refrained as he was doing her a solid giving her these bits of information that could definitely help her when she approached her targets.

When he had finally reached the conclusion in his debrief, the waiter returned to take their empty glasses and ask if they'd like to order more. As much as she enjoyed the sweet cocktail she remembered the promise she made herself and ordered a coke. Rafe ordered the same and gave her a cute smile.

It was odd, how natural it felt opening up to her. Even for a bit. He didn't quite understand how this woman managed to make him feel both exposed and understood at the same time. Like she could see right through him but she simply listened and empathized. It was fucking with his head.

He had spared her most of the details about his father which he deemed not necessary for her to know. It was all about preparing her for the wedding, that's all. He was amused at the way her eyes sparkled when they talked about her part of the deal, all the people on the guest list she would no doubt be able to wow. She seemed kind of excited and it made him feel glad. So far she had only expressed anger and disapproval over their arrangement. But there was a great opportunity for her in it too, which she had been ignoring for the most part. He knew she would manage to charm any one of those guests she wanted to. She was like that, incredibly charismatic and charming. He simply wasn't on the list of people she wished to charm. And he was fine with that, it didn't matter that there was a short burst of pain inside his ribs at the reminder that the only reason she was sitting with him right now was the deal they made.

"So what's with this "Modiste"?" Her voice was dripping with sarcasm at the use of the word.

"Yeah. Sorry about that. Rose likes to keep things looking perfect. She wants us to match so we need to try some things out." He rolled his eyes at what he deemed his stepmother's dramatics. "The clothes need to be tailored, not a single crease in sight."

For Y/N, it was beginning to sink in just how different their worlds were. The mere clothes they wore were so startlingly different in price, she shuddered to think what this entire wedding would look like. She did not belong in the world of oppulence. She was a small town girl, on a scholarship, trying to make a difference in this world. But the world was quite literally tailored to the upper classes, and her dislike of them had to take a back seat if she wanted to fulfil her dreams. Change starts from within, small steps and all that. She had to remind herself to breathe as her thoughts nearly spun out of control.

Rafe noticed her expression change and frowned.

"Everything okay?" She startled at his voice breaking her out of her daze.

"Oh, yeah. Yeah all good." She gave him an unconvincing smile and he had to hold back from calling bullshit. He didn't want to piss her off, things were finally going somewhat okay between them and he wanted it to continue on like that.

"Okay so we just gotta pick out a few outfits on Tuesday and that's what we'll be wearing. Rose will take care of everything else, like always." He attempted a joke in order to relieve the tension that was radiating off of her.

"Right. Makes sense." She nodded trying to focus on the topic at hand. "Wait a few outfits?" She questioned, confused.

"Oh, yeah. Well one for the first day, the rehersal dinner-" she interrupted him before he got to finish his thought.

"Hold on, hold on, hold on." He looked bemusedly at her.

"What?" Her brows furrowed in confusion at his words.

"What do you mean the first day?" He was looking at her like she had grown a second head.

"Well, the rehearsal dinner, as I was saying. Then the wedding on Saturday-" he didn't get to finish again.

"I'm sorry, I'm gonna stop you right there." He was barely holding in his annoyance at her rude interruptions.

"You're saying this is a two day deal?" She was looking like she was about to pass out and alarm bells finally started ringing in his head.

"It's actually three days." His voice was careful, trying not to upset her further because she seemed like she was on the verge of a panic attack.

"Three days?!" Her voice was louder than she expected, and she got a few dirty looks from the table next to them.

"I told you this?" It came out as a weak attempt to placate her.

"No. You did not." She was glaring at him, and if looks could kill he would be a full 6 feet under this hotel.

"I swear, I thought I told you!" His desparation could be felt through every syllable.

"Rafe I swear to God-"

"I'm sorry! I really thought I did..." he looked petrified. Like the very thin line they had been toeing was about to break and he wasn't sure he could ever fix it if it did.

She got up from the table and walked away without a second glace. It happened so fast, one second she was there, steam practically coming out of her ears, then he blinked and he was faced with her back leaving the bar. He jumped into action, throwing some cash on the table to cover the bill and ran after her.

She had already gotten onto the elevator by the time he reached it and she purposefully closed the doors on him... Fuck. He realised his only option was to run down the stairs as fast as he could in hopes he reaches her before she takes off.

By the time he runs out of the staircase the elevator is empty and he curses his luck. He rushes out, panting, panicking, ready to see his car gone but it isn't. The car is still parked in front of the hotel but she's nowhere in sight. His relief turns to confusion, turns to concern until he notices something moving across the road and sees her standing at the railing overlooking the ocean. He hurries to join her. Her eyes are closed and she's breathing in a deliberate manner.

"Y/N/N-"

"Don't." She interrupts him again, this time he lets the silence roll. They stand there for what feels like eons but in reality was no more than 2 minutes. She opens her eyes and stares at the sea bellow them, the waves crashing into the cliffside. Her breathing evens out and she exhales a deep breath.

She had to get away from him, she needed a minute to breathe, calm herself down. She was reaching an anxiety attack up there and she needed out.

He stood a few feet away, mimicking her posture, waiting for her to speak or move or do something. He was so scared he screwed the whole thing up by not telling her. He really did think he had. But to be frank, he mostly blocked out those extremely embarrassing moments when he revealed to her the truth of his transgression and begged her to help him. So how was he to know if he actually did or didn't mention it? By her reaction though, it was clear this was the first time she was hearing about it. He wanted to slap himself.

"I'm sorry." His voice was quiet, small, defeated almost.

She finally looked at him then and realized he wasn't lying about believing he had told her about the wedding being a three day affair.

She wanted to cuss him out, slap him, tell him to take his car keys back and to leave her the fuck alone for the rest of time. But the way he was looking at her, so broken, so desparate, sad. Like she was holding his entire world in the palm of his hands and if she dropped it he wouldn't survive it. And she cursed herself for being empathetic because he really kept pulling the rug from under her again and again. Just when she thought she was finally in control, understood what she was dealing with, he reveals something else that tilts her world off its axis.

She sighed again and looked out at the setting sun. He kept his eyes on her. He was sure she would have cussed him out by now or maybe pushed him over the railing by how angrily she had looked at him back at the table. But she hadn't. Hadn't left either. She was still there. Maybe there was still hope.

"I swear, I thought I told you." He repeated himself pathetically, not knowing what else to do. She looked at him, the intensity in her eyes knocking his breath out of him. He was at her mercy yet again.

"I know." He looked dazed at her words. Hopeful for her next.

"You hate me now?" His voice was barely a whisper at that point. Why does he always fuck everything up?

"I don't know." Ouch. He was kind of hoping for a no. By the dejected look on his face she realized her words were a mistake. And untrue.

"No. I still don't hate you." She spoke looking back at the horizon. His head swiveled back to stare at her gauging if she was being truthful or playing with him. He was greatful it was the latter.

"Are you gonna back out?" The silence and the suspence were bad for his health, he felt faint. She let out a loud breath, seemingly fighting with herself.

"No." His eyes snapped up to hers incredibly quickly. But before he could say anything she continued.

"But you need to be honest with me. No more surprises, okay? I can't deal with any more of this shit." He was nodding along with her words enthusiastically, trying to hold in a smile that was desparate to come out. She wasn't abandoning him. She was still with him.

"I swear!" His hands were in the air in an apologetic manner.

"So is that it? Or is there anything else I should know that you forgot to mention?"

"No, that's all, I promise." He was nodding again, trying to convince her he was serious.

"Rafe, I swear to God if anything else pops up-"

"It won't!" He came closer to her, staring in her eyes, begging her to believe him. His move startled her but she didn't move, couldn't. It was as if his eyes were keeping her in a trance. She could see no sign of deception in them, so she nodded.

He finally let the smile out, the relief and gratitude overwhelming him. She hated that the sight of him made her want to smile too. She kept hold of herself though. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"So, three days?" He realized she was asking for an explanation.

"Right. So the plan is we get there on Friday in time for the rehearsal dinner. Then Saturday is the wedding and reception. That's where you get to make your move." He gave her a cheeky wink and she rolled her eyes.

"And then Sunday is recovery from the wedding and a continuation of the celebration for the bride and groom's closest family and friends. A way to spend some time together before they go off on their honeymoon."

"So three whole days of playing the part." She was deep in thought. Partly doubting her ability to pull it all off for so long, partly hyping herself up at the prospect of those connections that were so close to her reach.

"Look, I know it's more than you exepected but it's not a big deal." The look she gave him showed him her thoughts. Bullshit. He cracked a smile. She wanted to slap it off him. He was too damn cocky for either of their goods.

"You do realize we have to convice your family, friends and everyone else there that we're a couple, right?" He nodded, as if it was obvious.

"And we have never been able to not piss each other off for more than an hour." She waved back toward the hotel, reminding him of their most recent disasterous interaction. He sighed, putting his head in his hands, exasperated.

"So what then? I don't know what you want me to do. You're the one who ran away from me." He looked at her and noticed her glare was back. And they had just fixed things. This was exhausting.

"I needed a moment to breathe and think after getting yet another major reveal from you." She was right.

"I know. I'm sorry." He approached her again.

Why did he keep getting into her personal space, looking at her like that? Why did it keep affecting her the way it was? Why did she keep letting him? He was a breath away, it seemed. And those eyes looked anything but sorry then. They looked wild. As if their proximity was ruining both of their resolves. She had to put an end to this tomfoolery. So she stepped away, crossing the street back to the parking lot, leaving him dazed and confused.

After a moment he followed, hands in his pockets portraying a picture of nochalance which was nothing more than a facade. She saw through it but she didn't want to know whatever it was that was going through his head now. She needed this interaction done with, once again feeling drained of all energy. It was like he had this annoying ability to rattle all her senses just by being near her. She hated that. She opened the car door, his car door, feeling his stare boring into her.

"I'll see you at the Modiste." She offered a neutral, but somewhat friendly goodbye. He nodded, looking at her with an intensity she didn't know what to do with.

He hated seeing her like this. So calm and collected when he was anything but. Hated how easy it was for her to walk away from him, time and time again. How pathetic he felt wishing she wouldn't, again and again.

She looked infuriatingly good, standing by his car, like she owned it. Like she had the right to drive it. It pissed him off that it suited her, looked like it was made for her when it was his most prized posession, which she stole from him. He hated how much he liked seeing her getting into the drivers seat, how he got a great view of her ass as she did. Hated how much every little thing about her seemed to affect him in the worst ways. Mostly he hated that he didn't hate any of it, how much it stirred inside of him, stuff he wanted to pretend did not exist. And he resented her for not feeling the same unhinged way he always seemed to when they're together. He hadn't moved from his position by the car, not even an inch. Just staring at her while she turned the ignition on and the familiar sound of the old muscle car roaring to life shot a pang through his heart.

He resented how good she looked driving his car. It was so fucking unfair.

She looked back at him, confused as to his state of mind, from the intensity on his face and the way his eyes just wouldn't leave her. She felt an overwhelming urge to break the tension somehow. Just driving away while he stared at her seemed too unnerving of a prospect.

"You promise no more surprises?" She managed to break him out of his reverie then. He clearly did not expect her to speak again. He processed her words and smirked.

"What would life be like if there were no surprises, Y/N/N?" The look she gave him made him laugh and reassure her.

"No. No more surprises. Scout's honor." Dramatically, he puts a hand over his heart.

"Good. Because if I show up there and find out that it's actually our wedding or something, I'm going to murder you."

Those were the last words he heard before she took off in his beloved Mustang. Once again leaving him in the dust, this time a live wire from their encounter. He was left with the unfortunate image she had now put in his head. Why would she say that?

Why would she say that? What was she thinking? At least she managed to take him by surprise and break whatever daydream he was in. But why did she say that? Now she was thinking of how awkward it was. She wanted to leave on a funny and unaffected note but now she was left embarrased.

She took a breath and made a conscious decision not to dwell on that cringe mistake and leave it in the rearview along with him. And as she drove further away from the hotel and the man in front of it she managed to convince herself the worst was behind her and whatever came from now on would be easier.

Just as she was starting to believe it, she heard the roar of a motorcycle and she knew it was him. She expected him to zoom past her but he slowed down to match her pace. She looked over at him confused, but couldn't see his face. So she did the only thing she could think of in that moment and waved at him. That seemed to do the trick as he waved back and finally took off in front of her, leaving her to wonder what the hell just happened.

-------

When she finally got into bed that night, freshly showered and tummy full, she noticed a text notification on her phone.

Devil's Spawn: it looks good on u

It took her a moment to realize what he was talking about. And then it dawned on her. The weird moment on the road. He was checking her out while she was driving his car. Her cheeks turned a furious shade of red as it sank in. And he had the audacity to send that text. Not only was he checking her out but he wanted her to know it too. What a pompous douchebag.

She decided that the fluttery feeling in her stomach was caused by the anger at being so blatantly objectified, not because he was flirting with her. His message went unanswered as she forced herself to calm down and get some sleep. This would prove a futile attempt, him once again making her too riled up and forcing her into yet another long and restless night.

-------

Taglist: if anyone wants to be tagged in future work let me know; @lovelornanonymity @mentallynot-here @wishing-i-was-rafes-princess @emeloyy @kanib45 @clinelyn @magnificantmermaid @hey-sunrisee @mannstarkey @harringtonstudios @totallynotkaibiased @popcrone818 @bookaholics-stuff @zzzina7 @fangirlwithlou @namelesssav @rafesxgold @cmac-writes @malfoytargaryen @alinaharlow @mveggieburger @theyluvmesblog @withbeautyandrage @sierrahhh @harrys-humble-housewife @piceous21 @vifuckingp @ditzyballerina @xoxo3m1ly @jessmaybank @whore-4-drewstarkey @palmwinemami @mew227 @dustbunniess @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @starkowswife @ietss @beansprout713 @tpwk-mia @starkeysbebe

[yanderecrazysie]

Good day, I was actually the anon who requested oshi no ko… I hope you enjoyed it cause I just recently rewatched it cause I couldn’t move past Ai’s death.

But can I have Yandere Aqua and more specifically if you are ok with it, with someone from his past life like his young intern. Like someone he had an attachment to as a doctor as they spent a lot of time working together and become really good friends despite the reader not really being into an idol stuff. So after his death, the reader naturally mourn him and left his hometown because of guilt of not being able to find his body.

So flash forward reader is now a certified doctor for stunt doubles and meats Aqua in a movie set. Seeing you, his once meek intern now a professional doctor brings feelings from him. You are his only connection to his past life as Gorou and he can’t seem to shake you off the emotions you bringout from him. He sees you as someone he has to control to protect you from harm and this leads to yandere obsession.

Thanks for reading my ask and request. Although thinking this more clearly, I feel like there would be a significant age gap between intern reader and aqua but The idea won’t leave my head so I hope you’re ok with it as long as both Aqua and Reader are legal adults

Oshi no Ko was literally so good! I cried at Ai’s death scene, it was so sad! (Then again, I cry at everything on TV these days lol) 

I made Reader young at the start, but there’s still a large age gap obviously. Both are adults though, so it’s technically fine.

Title: To See You Again

Pairings: Hoshino Aqua x Reader

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, significant age gap (legal adults)

Summary: Aqua sees someone from his past life again after 18 years. It brings up some darker feelings.

“You know, I can’t really get into this idol stuff, but it makes me happy to see you happy,” you giggled. 

Dr. Gorou couldn’t tear his eyes away from the TV, where a beautiful girl in a pink dress danced and sang on a brightly-lit stage. He gave a grunt of acknowledgment to show he’d heard his young intern. 

At just 18, you were the youngest person working in the hospital. It was clear you weren’t aiming to be a gynecologist like Dr. Gorou was, but your hometown was a small one and there weren't many options to intern at. 

You sat down on the bed next to your mentor, watching Ai blow a kiss to the audience, her eyes shining with emotion. Although you didn’t see the appeal in it, you understood that he had gotten into it from a young patient who had died. You couldn’t help but wonder if that death had scarred him somehow.

Scooting a little closer, you smiled up at Dr. Gorou. He looked at you from the corner of his eye for a moment, smiling back, before he turned his attention back to the idol on-screen. You stifled a sigh.

He’d never notice your feelings, would he?

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aqua stood idly around, watching the other actors practice their lines together. He’d already memorized his part of the script- it was easy compared to all the medical terms he’d had to memorize in medical school. 

“Quiet on set! Quiet on set!” Someone called out. The actors went quiet as a stunt actor got in place on set. Aqua watched silently from the corner he stood in.

The stunt double took a running leap through a glass window, taking the place of the main character, who had performed the scene just before this one. Suddenly, he stood up, clutching his leg and letting out a strangled cry. Sticking out from his thigh was a large shard of glass, blood beginning to seep through his pants.

“Cut!” The director yelled, leaping up from his chair. “Aqua, take him to the doctor on set!”

Aqua bit back a sigh. Why him? He walked over to the stunt double and offered him his arm to take. The stunt actor leaned against him, limping with each step and wincing in pain.

Aqua had never seen the doctor, but he knew where she was staying. He helped the man along the backstage hallway and to the office. He gave a quick knock and entered, helping the stunt double onto the bed.

Once he saw the doctor, his heart stopped. 

You were older now, probably around the age he was when he’d died in his previous life, but it was unmistakably you. He felt an irresistible tug at his heart when he looked at you, reminded of your smile and obvious crush on him.

For a moment, he waited for you to recognize him, but remembered that he wasn’t the same person anymore. Of course you wouldn’t know him. 

You had turned all of your attention to the poor stunt double in front of you, and Aqua was struck by the realization that you’d matured so much since he’d last seen you. You were a fully fledged doctor now, not just an intern. 

He was surprised by the thoughts that crossed his mind. I’m an adult again, so surely she’ll recognize me and want me again. And even worse, the childish reaction he had when he saw the wedding ring on her finger. I knew her first!

Back when he was Dr. Gorou, he had specifically ignored your advances. He was too old for you in his 30s, he had thought. But now, here you were, and the roles had swapped. Now he was the young adult, and the attraction had taken hold of him. Maybe it was hormones or maybe it was the fact that he finally had something from his old life in front of him.

He spotted a photo on your desk and leaned in to inspect it. He was shocked by the image- younger you standing next to Dr. Gorou. He just about choked on his tongue asking, “Hey, who is this?”

You looked up from the leg you were tending and followed his gaze. A sad smile crossed your face. “Oh, that’s my old mentor. He was a kind doctor that went missing, presumed dead. I miss him every day.”

Take that, (Y/n)’s husband. He thought victoriously.

“When can I see you again, Doc?” The stunt double asked as you bandaged his leg, “Maybe at a bar, just you and me?”

Aqua felt red-hot rage shooting through his veins. How dare he?

You giggled your sweet giggle, the one he’d missed for 18 long years, and turned him down. He didn’t deserve your laughter or your kindness, and Aqua seethed silently from it. You had pined after him for so long, why had you moved on?

Maybe your husband had forced you into a relationship. Threatened you. That’s the only conclusion he could make from this situation. After all, you still had his picture on your desk.

He’d take care of your husband for you, and then he’d find a way to make you see that he’s the same man you fell in love with all those years ago.

[my-castles-crumbling]

I have a problem Cas… I think im in love. 

Okay so, there’s this girl. We’ve been best friends like 5 years. I mean i’ve always- okay I don’t know how to explain this. 

I’m basically a fan-fiction come to fucking life. 

So i’m Demisexual, and last year I decided to come out to my family. I don’t know if other Demi ppl have preferences of gender, but I don’t. Honestly labels confuse me. I’m not sure if technically i’m Biromantic and Demisexual but hey, the point is- and what I explained to my family- that i’d be open to dating anyone. 

Basically i was telling them I wasn’t straight. (Obviously Demisexual is also about sexual activities and people and stuff but I wasn’t gonna try and explain to my parents that I don’t really get attracted to random ppl- cause they don’t get it- and I didn’t want to accidentally start talking abt sex). 

So anyway, they were not happy. Have you watched Brooklyn Nine-Nine? There’s this clip where the character Rosa comes out as Bi and her parents are like “That’s okay, since you can still date a man and marry a man and be normal” and they were like that for me (i’m a girl in case that wasn’t obvious- so they wanted me to date a man).

And I didn’t really care to be honest. I had an equal level of straight friends to queer friends, I felt suitably in both worlds. I truly love my family. They’ve always been good to me. But they did imply if I did end up with a girl, they wouldn’t want to meet/know her.

Not to mention the religious trauma. I spent a shit ton of time listening to ppl tell me that same-sex marriage and relationships are a “sin”. Hell- there was this one rlly lovely women at church when I was like 9, but she got kicked out when they congregation found out she was a lesbian. (Okay- not kicked out but like bullied into leaving).

So it was fine for me to accept that I could potentially date a women since i’ve never felt immediate attraction to anyone, it never felt totally real. 

BUT NOW I HAVE A PROBLEM. So my best friend (who is also a girl) of 5 years. She’s amazing. She’s literally the funniest person i’ve ever met, she’s so generous and has helped me so much, and she’s just adorable. She’s like fucking sunshine. And ngl, I don’t often like people who are so cheery all the time because it feels fake and I like people around me to be honest. 

But she just, she has this way of finding the beauty in the stupidest things and it’s so cute. We got splashed by a car the other day, drenched both our outfits, and instead of being mad, she got all excited and had us do a photoshoot in our crazy soaked clothes, and then got all excited that we could cuddle under a duvet and watch a movie with snacks once we got home cause apparently that’s the only acceptable thing people can do after being covered in water (which is exactly what we did).

And she’s not unreasonably happy, you know? Like when people try to cheer people up at bad times and make everyone more sad, she’s not like that. Whenever i’m upset, or mad, she’ll doodle these cute little flowers on coloured paper and write things she loves about the world on the back of them, and once i’m done ranting abt how annoying the world is, she’ll give it to me and smile. She has the best smile.

I have this jar, I write the date on them and put the paper in the jar. 

We’ve been best friends five years, she started doing that like four years ago and i’ve had the jar pretty much from the start. 

It’s always been easy to be around her. We sort of knew each other for like a year, and then I blinked, and we were best friends. I read all the books she gives me even though the plot is super cheesy cause she loves talking about them, I learnt how to bake all her favourite snacks her mum made, cause she’s pretty far from home and honestly a tragic baker. And she cooks dinner (don’t ask how she can’t bake to save her life but is the most incredible cook, it’s unbelievably ridiculous) for us a lot, she learnt to make my fav food. 

We technically live together, we’re at the final year of uni (maybe not tho depending on our next courses, I dunno) so we’ve been living together this year, but before that, I basically spent most of my time around her place anyway.

So yeah, we’re friends. But I realised a few months ago that i’m pretty, definitely, in love with her. I think i’ve felt like this for about a year and it just hadn’t quite clicked yet. 

(I had this awful day and came back to our place to see her genuinely painting our wall a different colour of white. She paints as a hobby and accidentally splatter a ton of blue paint on the wall and freaked out and tried buying white paint to cover it when it wouldn’t wash of and she was sat on the floor with white paint all over her and the wall still blue. 

She told me the story and I burst out laughing. I explained you often need white primer first, to cover the blue, and then to buy the correct shade of white, since ours was sort of chill white and she’d bought bright white. 

It’s the type of thing that would’ve annoyed me so much at the end of such a tough day, but because it was her, I just found it adorable. That’s when it clicked, I love her. She noticed I was tired immediately and felt bad cause she realised i’d had a bad day. I said this cheered me up, cause it did. Then we made dinner together and spent the night reading on the sofa with music on. 

We went to the shop the next day to get the correct stuff and luckily our wall is back to looking almost exactly the same). 

So yeah, I love her. Plus like, being demi, I don’t usually find ppl attractive… I mean i’ve always known she’s aesthetically pleasing, she has good fashion sense and stuff, but like, I tend to view all people as the same sort of level of attractive. BUT NOW ITS LIKE- SHES FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. It’s kind of annoyingly actually. How is everyone not spending all day gazing at her eyes. They’re fucking caramel, like a book character. She says they’re brown but she’s wrong. In dull lighting they seem brown but they’re like dark orange (amber i guess) with little hues of green, but in the sun they’re really bright and caramel and warm. 

She’s a lesbian btw. So theoretically I’ve got a shot. Also, i’ve always been good at reading people and I know she’s had like a small crush on me at least twice in our friendship. You can tell sometimes. 

But recently, it’s been a wreck. I’m so distracted cause i’m in love with her I can’t think, and my friends keep telling me she loves me back but I can’t keep my head on straight long enough to try and tell. 

But. If I do get my head out of my ass and tell her and she does end up wanting to date me, what the fuck am I supposed to do then. Cause if it does work out, i’m pretty sure it’ll last. 

My parents never totally liked her (they probably saw this coming- but I think in the homophobic, all queer ppl date each other, way and not the, they’re meant to be together, way) and if ended up having to tell them i’m actually dating a women, they’d be pissed. 

I always thought i’d end up with man, since it’s easier. No religious guilt about that. But I can put aside my own brains stupidity for her. But I can’t change my parents. But aside from this, they’re literally amazing. But I also know them and I truly don’t think they’ll change.

All my friends having been saying me and her should’ve been dating this entire time. I don’t know, I like to think now would be kinda perfect. I always knew she was gonna be in my life forever, I guess I just got so used to imagining myself with a man I forgot she was an option? That I could be with her romantically forever. You know, assuming she wants to date me.

(We’ll see about that. I’m really not sure. But i’m totally shit at keeping my own secrets so i’m planning to tell her soon if not just for the sake of my own sanity. All my friends say she’ll reciprocate, if she doesn’t, then I guess i’ll go from there, she’s not the type to be weird or bothered that we live together despite it. And if she does… then I have to decide what to do next. My other best friend is literally always right when it comes to our friends dating lives, and she has faith we’ll end up together, so we’ll see I guess) 

But if she does. If she does I’ll have to get into it with my family. I don’t want to lie to them. And I know I shouldn’t judge, but I honestly don’t think they’ll change their minds. I think they’ll say I can come visit whenever, but not bringing my partner. And I won’t want that. And we’ll all argue.  

I never liked knowing my parents didn’t accept this side of me, but I guess I never considered it would be an actual problem i’d have to deal with someday. 

I spend a lot of my time trying to figure myself out. I haven’t had the easiest path in life. But with her, it’s so easy. It’s easier to understand what I like, it’s easier to talk about things, and I fully trust her not to be weird. Or leave. Or get mad for nothing. I don’t have to walk on eggshells around her. I trust her. We don’t argue much. We have, what she calls, three different type of arguments. 

One, “bad mood argues”. She finds it so hilarious that it rhymes. You have to say it with the syllables. Bad-Mood Ar-Gues. We have these cookies in the freezer that we make every month. If one of us is having a bad day, we cook a few cookies to eat and I bought this dumb fridge magnet of a cookie to put on the fridge to signify it’s a cookie worthy bad day. 

Another one is “justifiable anger”. That doesn’t happen much. When we first met, she had this tendency to not tell me when I did something that upset her, and it’d spiral, and i’d be mad she wasn’t talking about why she was mad. So we have a rule to always talk about problems, even the little things. For example, her yelling into the phone to her family for hours while i’m trying to study- she has planned days now, so I can go to the library or she can go out if necessary, or keep the convo below 45 min, her mums like half deaf so she does have to shout, but it’s also VERY loud. Basically we comprise. And make sure no anger builds up.

The third type of argument is, what our friends call, “married idiots”. As in, she shouldn’t use the siri talk thingy while driving cause it never understands what she’s trying to say and so I get jumbled texts that mean nothing and then she thinks she’s told me something she hasn’t told me. She’s nearly understanding that one 🤦‍♀️ And you know, the classic colour of something argument (it’s purple- she’s wrong).  

Anyway. I forgot my point. Oh yeah, everything’s easier with her. I feel comfortable. If i’m being totally honest… i’m pretty sure if I ask her out, she’ll say yes. Like 80% sure. Im just scared to fuck this up, and cause family problems. Cause yeah, she’s worth the drama, but also, it’s her that’ll be being insulted right? She very likely won’t be allowed in my house. I don’t want this to ruin what we already have. 

So yeah. That. I could really do with some advice ❤️

Hi <3

If you do not ask this girl out, I will physically pass away.

Like...I'm not usually so pushy with asks, but you're describing a relationship, hon. This is a relationship. I'm not sure if you follow me because of the Marauders, but you two are literally Wolfstar, And I'm shipping the two of you so hard right now.

If, for some insane reason, she turns you down, it's because she doesn't realize she's in love with you, too.

As far as your family...again, I'm going to be more blunt that usual. You're going to have to face their lack of acceptance for you at some point. It's absolutely shit that they don't accept you, but like...don't let that stop you from being with this girl. Because even if you put off their feelings now, you'll have to deal with it someday, and then you might miss out on an amazing girl.

Please update me. I need updates. I am so invested. I am DYING for updates.

God, I'm rereading all the things you wrote and I'm kicking and giggling. You two are ridiculously adorable. Please kiss her already (with consent).

I'm naming you purple anon. Please write back.

[wish-i-were-heather]

This is a long post but not a vent its the opposite of a vent ykwim like a long happy rant

I love you all so much.

Maybe I’m just all dramatic and emotional because I’m on my period, maybe because I’m writing this late at night and I’m gonna think it’s really cringe in the morning, but I love you guys so much. Tumblr has brought me so much joy. I’ve been here for maybe three or four months now? And I can’t really think of a time in my life where I was happier. 

I first made an account after scrolling aimlessly. I would go onto the tumblr website and it would let me search a bit until it was like “you need to make an account to keep going!!” And then I’d just close it and move on. But then one day I decided  hey what the heck just do it. So I made an account, and I didn’t really know what I was doing. I came up with this username because I liked conan gray, I gave myself  a daphne blake profile picture because she has red hair, and just kinda explored. 

I looked through tags of fandoms I love like the inheritance games and pjo and shatter me and even scythe (which was when i was then brought to the realization that the aoas fandom really is dead everywhere even here😔). But I just kinda explored.

Then I found all you guys, the cute aesthetic tumblrinas! And omg I thought everyone was so cool. Pretty much everyone I’m mutuals with now is someone who i found their blog and was like OMG I WANNA BE ONE OF THEM!! I loved the friendships and the connection and just seeing everyone interact made me so happy. I think one of the first people to follow me back was Belle and I remember I legit freaked out because omg!! Shes so cool!! 

Now that I’m telling the story it’s a little embarrassing, but it’s fine. I just know I was slowly growing my blog and meeting new people but I still didn’t feel like I had real friends, it hadn’t been that long. But I think it all kinda happened after I accidentally deleted my account, and I sent panic asks to everyone. And you guys were so nice and so sweet and for a lot of people it was some of the first interactions we had. 

I have the world’s worst memory, but it just kinda took off from there. 

And now I am friends with all you guys!! I’m so incredibly glad I decided to make this blog that day because omg. I’d seen people talk about online friends but I’d never had any. But now?? OMGG I UNDERSTAND!!! I finally have people who are just as obsessed with the books/tv/movies/music/everything that I am!! 

My friends IRL are nice, they’ve read the books I read, but I cant talk to them the way I do you guys, yknow? Tumblr is literally just such a safe space for me. I have a bad day, come online, and my mood is lifted. It makes me so happy and it also makes me feel so validated for whatever weird interests or feelings I have! I have a weird thought? Post it to tumblr! It’s just so amazing, how there’s people all over the world who care about me even a little, even just enough to like my shitposts. 

I’ve even infiltrated both the shatter me and tig roleplays, and I’ve really just done everything I could’ve hoped for when I joined tumblr. I used to be the one watching everyone interact, and now I am the one interacting! I don't think you guys understand how much you all mean to me. Especially as someone with bad social anxiety, who struggles with making friends irl. I also don’t believe in popularity in schools, thats stupid, but technically i’m not a “popular kid.” So I have friends, but not a billion. But here? Everyone is friends on tumblr!! It’s so amazing. I love you all so much. 

That’s long and honestly pretty sappy, also yall probably don't care about my whole tumblr history and how i got here (plus no one asked), but I felt like i wanted to share. There’s so much more I wanna say, but surprisingly enough as a writer, I’m not always the best at expressing my feelings over writing. My love language is physical touch, not words of affirmation. Which suckss cause i cant give you guys that. But this is as good as i can get. 

So thank you to everyone, my mutuals and followers and whatever. Thank you for being so loving. Thank you for being stupid with me. Thank you for listening to me rant about nonsense. Thank you for liking my posts. thank you for being here. Thank you for making me feel safe.

Cause every time I get a notification, I smile. It’s hard not to, when I know everyone is so amazing. I hope you think of me when you listen to heather, because I always think of you when i listen to online love. Anyway, I love you all. I hope we meet one day. Actually, scratch that. We will  meet one day. That is a threat :)

LOVE YOU ALL MUAH MUAH MUAH IM BREAKING INTO YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW BTW WERE GONNA WATCH HALLOWEEN MOVIES AND HAVE HOT CHOCOLATE AND GO TO THE PUMPKIN PATCH AND DO A BIG GROUP COSTUME AND GO TRICK OR TREATING TOGETHER GET READY 😋😋

[cher-rei]

love song ♬— chapter 5 [ J.M ]

pairing: jamal musiala x fem!oc

summary [please read]

genre(s): strangers to lovers, fluff, angst and sports romance [love song playlist]

[w.c: 3k] masterlist

notes: cutie piesss. that's what they are. omw and the next chapter is gonna he super domestic too shut uppp

previous chapter | next chapter

“wow, you're all decked out, spider-nerd,” aaliyah said and turned to look at noelle as she entered the living room, looking as if she was about to head to comicon.

with a proud smile, noellle showed off her spiderman zip up hoodie, a vintage blue and red spiderman t-shirt which she definitely thrifted and a pair of washed denim jeans. to a stranger it would seem that she'd been preparing for this moment her entire life.

which wasn't technically true. she didn't flinch at aaliyah's “spider-nerd” nickname, not when she saw it as a compliment, an accomplishment.

when sophia walked in she didn't even bat an eye, simply patting noelle's shoulders before sitting down on the sofa. “this isn't even bad. when we still lived in london, there was a day that she skipped school because the cinema was doing a rerun of the amazing spiderman. all three movies.”

the look of shock on aaliyah's face was comical, a scoff of disbelief leaving her mouth while noelle simply shrugged. “noelle braun, you start shaking when you accidentally jump a red light.”

she didn't fight however, and held her chin up. “I have no regrets,” the last thing she said before sliding away on her socks, leaving her friends to laugh as they finished up getting ready.

when they got to the cinema, the boys were already there and occupied with their own conversation. but soon the attention was on them, calls of approval from florian and kai rang through the air at noelle's outfit.

“you're seriously committing to this,” florian commented, impressed with her dedication to a simple movie.

a smile of pride tugged at her lips as she gave everyone a twirl to show off her full outfit. “I gotta represent.”

as they made their way over to get their snacks the conversation continued, this time the highlight happened to be the red light that noelle jumped in fear of being late (they were 30 minutes early). she couldn't catch a break, just when aaliyah mentioned that she wasn't a fan of breaking street rules.

“hey,” she put her up her hands in defence. “one little red light never killed anyone. the road was empty.”

kai raised an eyebrow at her excuse. “one little red light? you're like a racing prodigy— of questionable life choices.”

the jab didn't phase her, neither did their banter. noelle had known kai just as long as she'd known sophia, their sibling like relationship always bringing a smile to his girlfriend's face. “at least I'm consistent. I'm just living life on the edge.”

“the edge being the line between green and red?”

the group erupted into laughter, their banter filling the cinema lobby but noelle just shrugged. eventually aaliyah intervened, ready to defend her friend. “hey, no teasing noelle. she's just embracing her inner speed demon.”

“more like inner speed bump,” florian deadpanned, earning a look from noelle and before anything could happen sophia pushed them further into the line so that they could finally order their snacks.

everyone got their combos as per normal but aaliyah made sure to clarify that noelle didn't want popcorn, which raised some confusion in jamal who had been silent for a bit, still upset that this was a group activity.

he raised an eyebrow. “how can you not like popcorn?”

the question made her pout. “just not my thing.”

from ahead of them florian scoffed, not too fond of the idea of not eating popcorn

while watching a movie. “that’s like watching spiderman without the webs.”

the younger girl rolled her eyes. “I'll survive.”

the vip movie theater was surprisingly empty, causing jamal to internally jump up in triumph. this was exactly what he wanted. the seats were separated, two recliners and a table with nearly a metre of space between the others.

nothing was said as they stepped in besides the silent look of significance that was shared between the three footballers, followed by nods.

they stalled finding their seats, waiting until noelle sat down, which took longer than expected because she was awkwardly hopping in between the open spaces and then looking at the screen before moving on to the next row.

“what are you doing?” jamal asked in genuine confusion, his brows furrowing.

“I'm finding the perfect spot. I need to sit somewhere where I won't have to strain my neck or my eyes… here!” she exclaimed, settling into her chosen seat.

with that, the rest of the group found their seats with jamal next to noelle just as planned. “spider-nerd needs optimal viewing conditions,” kai teased, earning a playful shove on the arm from his girlfriend.

she was strange. that was jamal's initial thought— funny in her own way. she did things a certain way, had certain preferences that differed from most but it made her attractive. and what he learnt throughout the movie was that she was a lot geekier than he originally thought.

she spoke throughout the movie— her hushed whispers commenting on certain scenes and details that he didn't catch. she even took the liberty of explaining the base of the spiderman lore to him.

Iit got to the point where he would ask questions just to have her explain it to him. she would turn in her seat to look at him, her attention occasionally directing back to the big screen while her friends whisper-yelled at her to be quiet.

“the spider-verse is collapsing,” she muttered, more to herself. “the spider-totems, the web of life… it's all connected.”

jamal leaned in, his face inches from noelle but she didn't seem to care in that moment. “what's happening?” (he knew exactly what was happening)

noelle's explanation poured out in a rush, her excitement filled eyes glued to the screen. “the spider-totems are destabilising the spider-verse. each spider-person has a unique frequency, and when they intersect, it creates a rift.”

there were so many things running through jamal's mind at that moment. so many things that he couldn't say out loud for so many different reasons. he was entranced to say the least, eyes unintentionally dropping to her lips as she spoke. of course, he had to swallow those words and keep the interaction as pg as possible.

he cleared his throat, sinking further into his seat. “you're like a spider-verse encyclopaedia.”

noelle smiled at the compliment, waving him off. it was quiet for a moment again until her hand flew to grab jamal's hand to gain his attention— her excitement blocking out her consciousness. “oh, look.”

he didn't look because what the hell was stopping him from intertwining there fingers??

“thats’s the web of life. it's the interconnected web of spider-people across dimensions. each strand represents a life, and when one breaks, the entire web unravels–”

she was interuppted by aaliyah shushing her from the row in front of them, but jamal silenced her with a gestare, the girl's lips parting in shock at the audacity. “let her finish,” he mouthed, and she turned back to the front.

from the row in front, florian nudged his girlfriend who was plotting jamal's murder. “jamal’s got that ‘I'm-listening-to-you-and-only-you’ face.”

aaliyah scoffed in amusement and took another look at the two behind them, having a ball of a time. “I give them five minutes before discussing the merits of spiderman's web shooters.”

from in front of them sophia snickered, taking the liberty to get up and join them on the floor to enter the conversation with kai flowing after her. “we should start a betting pool— how long before he asks noelle about the difference between dc and marvel.”

their hushed whispers and laughter continued as they discussed the situation, looking back at the two every so often but they were stuck in the same position— with jamal nodding along to whatever noelle was saying. it was all jokes from there but aaliyah felt off.

she knew noelle, and just a few days ago she wasn't too happy about what happened at the training session. “guys, can I ask you something?” she asked, her voice just above a whisper.

the three of them nodded, more than ready to conspire. “noelle's been off lately. she's been doing really well with him, but… something feels off.”

kai frowned. “what do you mean?”

“she's a naturally guarded person, we know this but she's realising that she's becoming more comfortable and friendly with jamal.”

florian pulled a face at her statement. he understood what she meant about being guarded, it took noelle a week after meeting florian to tell him her last name. an entire week for something that wasn't even important.

the group went on to discuss the possibility of her pulling away from jamal and doing a full 180. sophia looked back at the two of them again, her laugh stifled as she watched them go through some sort of handshake, noelle stopping jamal and asking him to try again between her laughter.

“man, she's got this look in her eyes when she talks. it's like her face lights up.”

“oh boy, here we go again,” kai sighed in irritation as they entered the camp, his head pounding with the sound of jamal’s voice talking about noelle.

the entire car ride back, it's all that he talked about. he kept on talking about “special” she was, but kai and florian couldn't back him up. they've known her for years, and have seen sides of noelle that haunted them— how groggy and mean she could be when she was tired and having caffeine withdrawal, and how easy it was for her to zone out during conversations.

that was just the surface of it. noelle was what they called a tough cookie. she had her moods, she needed reassurance and comfort because of how often she overthought certain situations. and jamal found her rambling and hard working nature attractive but he never experienced how it could break her.

she was like a volcano. with emotions that shifted like the wind. one moment, she'd be effervescent, her eyes sparkling with passion and the next she'd be disconnected and lost in thought.

despite her tough exterior, she was vulnerable and guarded. even if it didn't seem like that right now.

no.elle

liked by sophiaamealia and 213 332 others

no.elle i dig the whole "spider-nerd' thing 🕷

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liyah babe that lighting white washed you so bad 😭

→ no.elle no shut up, I tried to fix it!!

spamjam._. need the link to that hoodie yesterday

→ no.elle of courseee xx how's the euro tour going so far?

→ spamjam._. I can't say any of the words that I want to say here 😃

→ no.elle well that's just great! (manifesting that germany plays england so that we can meet up)

→ spamjam._. 🕯🕯🕯

it was about 20 minutes into the first half of the germany and denmark match in dortmund and barely anything had happened apart from the expansion of the darker clouds in the sky, and the droplets that noelle chose to ignore. the wind had started to pick up as well, but there was nothing more to do than to endure it.

eventually, the rain worsened and it started pouring. thunder clapped in the distance, the bright strike of lighting hitting only seconds before. sophia jumped up at the sound and reached for noelle's free hand, a giggle leaving her lips at the situation.

“petition to go home?” she asked jokingly and aaliyah lightly shoved her, glad to see that she was slowly regaining her colour.

another clap of thunder sounded, and the referee's whistle as well which earned mixed reactions from the crowd. apparently they were checking to see if an intermission was necessary due to the weather interference.

a decision wasn't even made yet but the storm had worsened, the players having no choice but to stay on the pitch, drenched. water was pouring from the gutters, the supporters taking the liberty to enjoy the atmosphere and make the most of it.

“up, up, up,” aaliyah hurriedly said, indicating that they were going to head to the family booth so that they could dry off. the game was going to be suspended until further notice, which was unfortunate because it was 10 minutes before half time.

the three girls looked up at the sky for another moment, their jaws dropping sight of the strikes of lighting striking through the clouds. noelle couldn't move, it was too captivating. her friends thought the same, their phones out to capture the moment as they stood on top of the stands, nearby the exit.

the pitch was empty, both teams had been sent to their dressing rooms but some had other priorities. noelle was the first to feel a tug at her hand, pulling her backwards into the shelter of the building only to realise that sophia and aaliyah were already gone.

“I'd prefer if you didn't get struck by lighting,” the familiar voice said and when she turned around, jamal was standing in front of her, drenched and out of breath.

noelle's heart skipped a beat as she met jamal’s concerned gaze. his eyes sparkled with amusement, despite the chaos around them.

“thanks for saving me from myself,” she said, out of breath and slightly taken back.

jamal's smile widened, his lips curling upward. “I'm starting to think that you need a permanent bodyguard.”

she playfully rolled her eyes at his comment, following him to the family booth where her friends were warming up. when they entered the booth, sophia and aaliyah were quick to rush to her side, concern etched on their faces.

jamal took a step to the side, watching as aaliyah took noelle by the shoulders. “since when do you let go of my hand in public places?” the apprehension in her tone was amusing, and made noelle stifle a laugh.

“sorry, mum” she replied jokingly with an eye roll. “the lighting was going off like crazy.”

aaliyah rolled her eyes, sophia taking the liberty to thank jamal, who waved her off. “no problem. besides, I couldn't let my favourite psych student get struck by lightning.”

noelle's cheeks flushed, her friends’ confused but curious eyes drifting to her, their smiles mocking her. “you're really milking that, aren't you?”

not long after, kai and florian entered the room with relived sighs to see that sophia and aaliyah were okay. there was still enough time until the game continued, so they spent it chatting and warming up.

most people were familiar post *insert situation* clarity. that gut-wrenching feeling and pit of realisation that settles in after coming down from a high, or just any good feeling. at that moment, while everyone was laughing and comfortable she felt herself drift.

it was an outer body experience.

noelle's gaze drifted away from the laughter-filled room, her mind disconnecting from the warmth and camaraderie. the sounds of her friends' voices faded into a distant hum, like a radio dial tuned to a distant station.

a jolting shock spiked through her body, up her spine and through every nerve, pulling her back down from the suffocating cloud she was on. with a deep breath her eyes blinked to regain awareness of her surroundings— jamal, kai and florian getting up to leave, seeing as they were needed back in the dressing room and aaliyah and sophia laughing.

“please be careful,” sophia's gentle voice sounded and she placed a kiss on kai's cheek. “everytime you slip on the pitch aaliyah and noelle laugh like it's their last day alive.”

her comment alone made aaliyah laugh again, hitting florian on the back as she did so. he tried to walk away, to break free from the torture but she managed to pull him back into a bone breaking hug. “stay dry on the bench, okay?”

although her tone was maternal, it was obvious that it was meant to be backhanded and jab him which it did of course. without another word, kai pulled his friends back into the corridor, his bidding goodbye drowning out florian's cries of protest.

they stayed in the booth for the remainder of the match because the rain outside was not in anyway appealing. the match was slow, yet somewhat electric as usual. germany emerged victorious once again, 2-0 thanks to jamal and kai.

the stadium was ecstatic, their country now into the quarter final with more hope than ever before. and even as noelle stepped onto the soaking pitch with a light drizzle in the air, the supporters didn't care and continued to celebrate underneath the stadium lights.

“ah! you did it!” sophia squealed and leapt into kai's arms with a beaming smile.

noelle pulled a face of disgust at the couple. “ew, can you not do that in front– ah! what the hell flo?!”

“I'm giving you some affection,” the footballer said and tightened his grip on her, a cunning smile on his face as she tried to fight him off.

noelle scoffed at the answer, knowing that he just wanted to wet her clothes since he was already soaked. she resorted to jabbing him in defence but he was stubborn, violently swaying their bodies to the side.

“liyah!” she called out in desperation. “he won't let go! flo I swear to god I will bite you.”

aaliyah didn't bat an eye at the situation and simply waved the two off and carried on with her conversation with a few of the other family members on the pitch. noelle could practically feel the water seeping in through her jersey, a desperate fight for comfort not reigning.

“I'm just sharing my love with you,” florian said with a smile, his mocking tone making noelle whine as she continued to struggle.

“I don't want your love,” she shot back, a slight laugh escaping her lips and before she could fight anymore, his grip loosened on her.

with sly grin and the sight of his friend walking up to them after talking to their coach, florian took hold of noelle's arm. “you're right, you don't want my love.” and with one harsh shove, “you want jamal's.” she landed on jamal's chest.

noelle stumbled, her eyes shut at the impact. florian’s mischievous grin lingered in the background, clearly please with himself as he skipped over to his girlfriend.

“hi, to you to?” jamal joked with a lighthearted chuckle, his hands draped around her shoulders to hold her in place.

she mentally cursed herself and tried not to focus on the proximity or the sound of her heart violently pounding in her ears. she let out an apologetic sigh, not having the courage to look up at him.

“sorry for the tackle.” she rolled her eyes. “your friend's a walking migraine.”

jamal's chuckle deepened, his cheeks a flush of dusty pink that he ignored very well. his demeanour was calm and to any other person it would look like he didn't think much of the situation. “he's just trying to spread the love… and chaos on occasion.”

noelle stifled a laugh, finally craning her neck slightly to look up at jamal. “I think he enjoys watching me suffer more than kai.”

there was silence for a beat until her eyes flickered with genuine fear and dread. “you're not going to shove me at anyone else, right?”

a hearty laugh vibrated through his chest and she could feel it so close to her own. this was undeniably the closest she's ever gotten to man. the feeling was strange but… nice? it was comforting, lighthearted, to be this close to him and still have a conversation.

jamal shook his head and pretended to think for a moment, leaving noelle to worry slightly and prepare to be tossed back to florian. “no, actually I think I'll keep you here.” he relaxed his grip around her shoulders. “you're really warm.”

noelle's heart skipped a beat. her lips parting in shock as her smile faltered for a moment, their gazes locked. “you're kidding. you can't even handle a little rain?”

a mock gasp left his mouth. “I can handle rain. I just prefer warm, dry women.”

her eyebrows shot up in shock, her body relaxing against his. “warm, dry women?” she repeated. “that's your type?”

“yeah. it's a niche market.”

as they stood together, the stadium's vibrant atmosphere faded into the background, leaving only the two of them, suspended in a bubble of intimacy. noelle's heart still skipped a beat from jamal's words, her lips parted in surprise. his gaze held hers, sparkling with mischief and warmth.

the chill of the rainy evening dissipated, replaced by the gentle heat radiating from his body. she felt her tension melt away, her shoulders relaxing into his grasp.

this proximity was unfamiliar, yet strangely comforting. noelle's experiences with men were limited to kai and florian's playful teasing, but jamal's gentle, lighthearted manner put her at ease.

as they stood there, the sounds of celebration and laughter swirled around them, but noelle's focus remained on him. his eyes crinkled at the corners, his smile softening.

the stadium lights cast a golden glow on his features, accentuating the sharp lines of his face. noelle's gaze drifted to his lips, her pulse quickening.

she felt herself drifting into uncharted territory, the connection between them growing stronger with each passing moment. her instincts whispered warnings, but her heart overrode them, savoring the warmth and closeness.

jamal's hands, still draped around her shoulders, seemed to anchor her to reality. his touch sent shivers down her spine, yet she felt grounded, protected.

the world around them blurred, leaving only the gentle pressure of his hands, the warmth of his body, and the captivating sparkle in his eyes.

noelle's thoughts whirled, struggling to keep pace with her emotions. she couldn't deny the connection between them, the sense of belonging that settled within her.

as the moments ticked by, noelle realized she didn't want to pull away. for the first time, she felt like she was exactly where she was meant to be.

the uncertainty was exhilarating, the thrill of the unknown coursing through her veins like adrenaline. noelle's heart soared, her senses heightened, as she let herself drift deeper.

[lucigoo]

Weekly roundup: 1st August - 31st August

(I know its technically a month, but like the last one, its just until I catch up lol)

I wrote 13 fics in August, totalling 88,453 words so im pretty proud of that.

As always, recs first and then my fics under the cuts <3

Ringbearers - CQueen - The Hobbit (2012) (Bilbo/Thorin, aftelrife shennigans!!!!)

Summary: Having crossed over to the afterlife together Frodo decides to play matchmaker and insists that he and his uncle must go on an adventure together. What do they seek? Why his uncle's long dead friends, particularly Thorin Oakenshield.

Washing Day - StupidFatPenguin - The Hobbit - All Media Types (Bilbo/Thorin, Viking au!)

Summary: “What do you mean you bathe more than once per season?”

After only a short while of travelling with his heathen captors, Bilbo discovers that the tales of the fearsome, filthy and savage Northmen from his childhood might be much closer to great inaccuracy than the actual truth.

Dwalin Guards Thorin's Heart - SunnyRose - The Hobbit - All Media Types (Bilbo/Thorin, Dwalin & Bilbo, as always, @sunnyrosewritesstuff's fics are amaing!)

Summary: After the Carrock, Thorin pulls Dwalin aside asking him to protect his One from harm. Dwalin had no idea how difficult a task this was going to be, but the Burglar is an accident magnet!

The Tweed Fairy - lisellelascelles - The Hobbit (Jackson Movies) (Bilbo/Thorin, I rarely read smut, but when i do, its usually @lisellelascelles as it i smut with feelings, the only kind I like, and I adore this one!)

Summary: After working in the States for more than a decade, Thorin goes back to England to help his recently widowed older sister, and reconnect with his extended family. It’s early summer, the UEFA championship is firing up, and everyone meets in the local pub to watch the historic England vs. Scotland match. There he sees a small fellow all dolled up with tweed trousers and braces and a ridiculous retro football T-shirt underneath. He mocks him, coming across as a massive twat and a bigot to boot, without knowing the man is his cousin’s boyfriend’s best friend. When he later has an opportunity to redeem himself, what can he do but grab it and squeeze it…?

Take me as I am - phiaura - The Witcher (TV) (Geralt/Jaksier, please mind the tags, but it is SO good!)

Summary: Thus, a deal was struck, a treaty agreed upon. Rivia would not take military action against any allied kingdom and in turn, the kingdoms would provide the king of Rivia with a consort. So far, that last bit was the part of the treaty that had gone to shit. As far as Jaskier had understood, up to now the White Wolf had turned down all the proffered brides. If a consort was not approved, the treaty would be null and void.

Where Jaskier is the last chance of fulfilling the requirements of a treaty between the warlord of Rivia, and the allied kingdoms. Will it prove to be his rescue or his doom?

Pieces Tossed Aside - Anagrrl - Firefly (Malcom/Simon, aplocalypse au,)

Summary: Paquin goes silent. Everything else follows. AU set after the TV series.

I hope theres at least on foc for you all to enjoy, have a good week <3

Now for my fics, bare with me, when we get back to actual weekly roundups these lists will be much smaller lol.

The gold of your eyes is worth more then all of my medals (Sirius/Remus, olympics Au)

Summary: After a disastorous drunk driving crash caused by Siirus he ran from Remus, the love of his life.

10 years later and Remus is watching as the only man he has ever loved gains his fourth Olympic gold medal, now if only he owuld smile at Remus the way he is at the camera.

The Babes of War (Gen fic, pleae mind the tags, it tooks of child soldiers, im still not over the fact that 16 year old Gloin was at war!!!, also thank you so much to @mrkida-art for all the Tolkein canon information they provided which helped me write this fic)

Summary: Thror has taken to many dwarves to fight at Azanulbizar. This includes a 16 year old Gloin and his cousins, none of whom are of age.

A story of child soldiers whose whole world changes after one disatorous battle caused by a gold mad king.

Not Dorcas the Orca, two of three Marauders and a jail cell (Sirius/Remus, James Potter. Another self indulgant fic for my Wolfstar fandom family, they know who they are <3)

Summary: Sirius and James once again find themselfs in a jail cell with Dorcas (who was once an orce in this very same cell) only this isn't really Dorcas, even though they look exactly like them, huh?

Gollum's song (Bilbo & Gollum, mind the tags, MCDs)

Summary: Bilbo's heart is broken as he tries to recover as much as possible at Beorn's after BOFTA. He needs all the strenght he can regain because he has a new Quest to go on.

One where he may save another lost to the darkness the Ring causes.

That house was not a home:I never meant to leave you there alone (Sirius/Remus, Sirius & Regulus, Minor character death, grief)

Summary: Sirius wakes up in morning, reads the Daily Prophet and his whole life was suddenly changed.

The world is cruel and dark and he needs his brother who is forever gone.

There's no way out: the door is barred by the demon in my lovers skin (Bilbo/Thorin, please mind the tags, MCD, DD:DE!)

Summary: Thorin has never recovered from the Dragon sickness and ow it is Bilbo who is suffering because of it.

He is trapped and alone under Thorin's thumb and fists.

Bilbo just wants his dwarf back, instead he has a monster wearing Thorin's face hurting him.

It Was Never What It Seemed (Bilbo/Thorin, please mind the tags, it has some upsetting themes, but this, THIS is a fic i sent moe than a year on. If i never wrote anythig again, it would be ok because I managed to write and finish this particular fic A huge thank you to @sunnyrosewritesstuff for all their help writing it and for the title itself, and to @brandileigh2003 for all the emotional support i needed when writing the heavier hitting chaps. Thank you both, i appreciate it so much <3)

Summary: It has been 8 years since Bilbo has lest stepped foot in Erebor. He needs to talk to his husband, especially as he is now about to marry another. Another who is not Bilbo.

Bilbo left and when he did he left Thorin broken hearted. Now he is to marry a Blacklock Princess, consequences be damned.

Follow along with our favourite dwarf and hobbit as they find their way back to one another, No matter how painful the journey is.

Violets for the one I adore (Percy/Viktor, written for @flashfictionfridayofficial's prompt - Gifted violets)

Summary: Viktor has been a retired house husband and stay-at-home dad for 4 months now. Percy has never been happier.

There's a monster under my bed (Gen fic, Percy & Fred & George Weasley, written for the @change-is-perceivable fest)

Summary: There's a monster in Percy's room and no one will help him deal with it. Instead he is facing his bedroom door, wondering if anyone will care if the monster eats him.

It's hard being the good boy in such a large, chaotic family sometimes.

Don't try and drink your grief away (Gen fic, Percy & Geroge & Harry, grief, alcoholism, also written for the @change-is-perceivable fest)

Summary: Percy is blaming himself for Fred's death, after all he is the one who spoke to him, joked with him last.

He isn't coping well and has resorted to drinking.

Drunk Percy does something unthinkingly. Something he can't remember doing.

Destined Embrace: The Love That Healed the Noldor (Fingon/Maedhros (Tolkien), written for the @tolkienrsb, wih amaing art form the talented @wisteria53)

Summary: Fingon is going to rescue his best friend, his possibly something more, Maedhros, no matter what it takes.

Fingon is going to rescue his best friend, his possibly something more, Maedhros, no matter what it takes.

He is going to take him home to Gondolin and keep him safe. Maybe their friendship will grow along with their feelings of safety.

In the Darkness, You are My Shining Star (Gimli/Legolas, also written for @tolkienrsb, but this one has amazing art from @babybat98. I was paired with another amazing artist <3)

Summary: The Trope of Thorin Oakeshield are excavation miners in the depths of space working hard to feed and support their fledgling colony.

The neweest recruits have been allowed into space. Gimli Gloinson is one of those recruits. he is oging to learn how scary space can be, but also how very rewarding it can be too.

Back to where we belong (Ron/Hermione, as part of the Love of Fest Discord server, for the flash comp - Back to roots fest)

Summary: It's time to pick this years family holiday.

Ron knows where he wants to go. He wants to go back, he wants to go home.

[hellfiremunsonn]

Emetophobia. Steve Harrington x Reader

Emetophobia.

I DO NOT ALLOW MY WRITING TO BE REPUBLISHED ANYWHERE OTHER THAN MY OWN BLOG WITHOUT MY CONSENT

Emetophobia: “The extreme fear of vomiting”

summary: Your monthly movie night doesn’t go to plan when Robin ends up sick in the bathroom, leaving Steve to see how badly your phobia can cause you to panic.

(This fic has no smut. Younger audiences are able to read this without any explicit content. but I will still be marking and labeling my writing as 18+)

18 + IF YOU ARE NOT 18 OR OLDER DO NOT READ OR INTERACT WITH MY WRITING. IT IS NOT INTENDED FOR MINORS. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CONSUME.

WARNINGS: fem! reader, talk of emetophobia, coping mechanisms for it, mentions of panic attack/anxiety attack, descriptions of said panic attack/ anxiety attack. Mentions of Robin throwing up, but no descriptive detail of the act itself.

word count: 2531

AN: HI HELLO. So this is a very self indulgent fic I've written, because I myself have emetophobia. It’s a very debilitating phobia, and it’s hard for people to understand it. I know the way I react to it, and certain situations pertaining it arent rational, and I know my thoughts about it aren’t rational, but it can’t control it. It’s truly the only time that germs will bother me. I go on full panicked cleaning sprees while sobbing and having a full meltdown. It’s not fun, so I thought I’d write something for me, and so that maybe some of you could learn, and hopefully understand it.

It's about eight thirty when the gang arrives at Steves for your monthly movie night. With everyone getting older, and relationships becoming more serious, your group of friends don't get the chance to all hang out together as often as you once did. So you all decided on a monthly movie night, usually held at Steves, but each person or couple picked a different batch of movies to watch each time.

The winter weather told you not everyone would make it today, cars a little too old, and noses a bit too runny, but it was the fact that all of you tried and most of the time managed to gather for these nights. Never disappointed when someone couldn't make it, or you had to postpone it to a different week.

Almost everyone made it, Robin and Eddie both sick with a cold so they decided to stay home which you were extra grateful for. Although it wasn't the flu, and the cold was a sickness you could rationalize and manage, it still didn't dissolve the deep rooted phobia you desperately tried to hide, chalking it off as just anxiety to your friends, giving you an easy excuse to avoid certain situations like parties or bars.

It made you feel so stupid for being terrified of something so normal, so natural even. It was your bodies way of trying to make you feel better, but even the thought of just feeling sick could send you into a spiral. If you were being completely honest, you would rather stab yourself in the thigh and bleed out then throw up, or be near someone who's thrown up.  

You were able to keep it hidden from Steve for most of your relationship, until one night where you refused to get into the car when everyone was leaving a bar because you were too nervous one of your more than tipsy friends were going to be sick. To everyone else, you had a panic attack so you and Steve walked home together in the warmth of the summer night. Although it was technically true, you had to explain to Steve that it was something you've dealt with forever, something you try to avoid at all costs if possible. You didn't want Steve to see that part of you, but you knew it helped him understand you a bit more, why you did the things you did.

Your little quirks started to make sense to Steve after you told him, and he was able to start picking up on your nervous habits, giving him a chance to help you navigate situations where your phobia made you anxious. It also explained why it took you forever to sleep over at his house, or to even have him spend the night at yours with you able to stay in your bed the entire night. Most times Steve would have woken up to find you tucked up on the couch fast asleep instead of in the space next to him, and for the longest time he never knew why. Constantly feeling guilty, like he punched you in his sleep or something and you were too shy to tell him.

He let you do everything you needed to do to sleep, when you began sleeping over at his place. If you needed a light on, a fan for noise or if you got too hot at night, he would be more than accommodating. The tv on playing a movie which you'd get up and rewind and play again if you couldn't sleep? Steve would start waking up on instinct to rewind it for you, even if you had eventually fallen asleep. He would let you have a tape playing with the same song on a loop for twelve hours if that's what you needed.

Still, Steve hadn't seen it at its worst, until tonight.

You'd been keeping an eye on max all night the minute she said she felt shittier than usual considering she was 'just pmsing'. Your anxiety instantly heightened for the few hours your friends gathered in the living room. You watched what she ate, and how much of it, doing the same thing with whatever alcohol she decided to sip on. Only when you were about half way through the second movie, when you paused it for everyone to have a bathroom break, did you start to relax, when max excitedly bounced up to you. Sitting next to you with a giggle, wanting to fill you in on her college gossip before everyone was ready for the movie to continue.

You realized that just maybe your anxiety was lying to you, for real this time. So your anxieties faded and you were able to enjoy the rest of your night, falling asleep sometime before the second movie ended, Steves arm wrapped securely around your shoulders.

When you wake up, you're a little more slumped against Steve, still tucked up into his side and you can hear him talking quietly. You make a small groan of protest before lifting yourself from him, rubbing your eyes.

"Sorry babe, did I wake you?" Steve asked, tucking some of your hair behind your ear when you look up at him. You realize everyone is gone except for Lucas who's standing on the other side of the living room, leaning against the wall.

"I don't think so" you said with a yawn, stretching your arms over your head. "Did everyone go home?" you asked.

"Yeah, not too long ago, Lucas is just waiting for max to finish in the bathroom"

You nodded sleepily. Until you heard a cough come from the bathroom down the hall and your body immediately tensed. Steve felt your body stiffen against him and squeezed your shoulder. "S'okay babe"

You nodded again, taking a deep breath and trying to relax again. Maybe it was just a cough, that's possible, but when two more coughs came next with that unmistakeable sound you were quick up on your feet.

"Shit" Lucas muttered, racing towards the bathroom and knocking on the door before opening it, giving you a sliver of a second to catch Max on her knees in front of the toilet, confirming your anxieties, and sending you straight into panic mode. Staring back down at Steve like a deer in headlights, and he was quick to stand next to you, taking your shoulders in his hands and turning your whole body to face him.

"Go upstairs to my room yeah? I'll come get you when it's okay"

Your bottom lip wobbled as you ran up the stairs to Steves room, your feet thumping loudly against them and you didn't hesitate to slam the door behind you.

You start pacing and tried to control your breathing, counting how many steps it takes to cross each side of Steves room, until you don't even realize you're counting. You know you're being dramatic, and that what you feel is selfish, but it doesn't stop your body from going into fight or flight. Your skin feels wrong, and your clothes feel like they're covered in germs, and you strip yourself of them as quickly as you can, leaving you only in your bra and underwear.

"Fuck, shit, shit, shit" You mumble. "Come on, get your shit together"

You don't want Steve to see you like this, it's embarrassing, and if you could keep it hidden from him forever you would.

If feels like every possible germ Max could have been carrying is on you, on your skin, in the air, on every surface of the house. Hugging your arms around yourself you slide your hands up your arms, letting the nails drag across them harshly before digging them into your shoulders, knowing you're leaving half moon dents in your skin, but it's the only thing grounding you while sobs wrack at your chest.

It's been what feels like forever when Steve finally comes up stairs, knocking on the door lightly before entering and closing the door behind him like you two weren't now the only ones in the house.

He's confused at first when he takes in your trembling frame, almost nude in front of him pacing back and forth, and when he sees your face his heart breaks. Your cheeks are wet and splotchy, and he can tell you've been crying the entire time he's left you, and he's a little unsure of what to do.

"They're gone, everything's all good now" he said as reassuring as he could muster his voice to sound.

You shook your head, continuing pacing, your hands clenching and unclenching into tight fists. "N-No" you whimpered. "Max was leaning on me" you shake your hands out in frustration; as if everything you're feeling will leave through them if you shook them hard enough.

"I-I could get sick" you huffed. "God she touched so many things" when you stop pacing and cover your face with your hands, crying into them, Steve knows he can come over to comfort you. He wraps his arms around your shoulders tightly, one hand holding onto the back of your head like a small child while you cried harder into his chest.

You lean back from him, but don't push yourself away. "I want to rip my skin off" you said with a sob. "I'm hot, and it feels like the germs are festering on me" You whine.

"Do you want to shower? I can clean up downstairs?" He asks.

"I wont know if you've cleaned it all properly, I-I need to do it" you say looking at your hands, palms red with how tightly you've had them.

"What if you shower, and you tell me everything I need to do, so I can clean everything the way it needs to be done?" He says softly, taking your face into his hands, his thumbs sliding just under your jaw to push your chin up so he can look at you. You can smell the peach scented soap from the kitchen on his hands and you almost lose it at Steves thoughtfulness. The fact that he had washed his hands before coming back up to see you, getting one step closer to calming your nerves.

"You can follow me around the whole time, you wont have to touch anything" His eyes are searching yours, for anything at this point. New territory being discovered in your relationship and Steve being Steve he wants to fix it.

A new wave of tears blur your eyes and you look down to avoid Steves while a sob escapes you. No one had ever taken the time to learn, to try to understand, to even help you when you got like this. For so long it was something you hid, even to yourself, and now you're standing in front of someone who loves you so endlessly, that he's willing to do whatever it is to make sure that you're okay.

He pulls you back into his chest and you wrap your arms around him tightly, holding his t-shirt in tight fists where they land on his back. "I love you" You mumbled into him.

"What was that?" he said tucking his chin to his chest to look at you.

You leaned back from him once more, a small smile on your lips when you look up at him. "I love you" you repeat.

"I love you too baby" he said with a relieved sigh, thankful for the smile on your face. "Can I do this for you?" he asked.

"Yes please" you said with a huff. "I think that would be very helpful"

"Thank you" he said holding your wet face in his hands, leaning down to place a soft kiss on your lips.

You furrow your eyebrows "What are you thanking me for?"

"For trusting me enough to help you" he said with a shrug, intertwining his fingers with yours while he lead you to the bathroom, starting the shower and bringing fresh towels for when you got out.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're the best boyfriend ever?" you ask, wrapping your arms around his neck, fingers twirling in the hair at its base.

He laughed, leaning forward and bringing his arms behind you to unclip your bra. "Can't say anyone has" He continues to undress you, no heat or tension with his movements, just love.

"Alright" he said kissing the top of your head. "You are now shower ready"

"Can you shower with me?" You ask sweetly.

"Of course" Steve says quickly, impossible to say no to you.

The two of you shower mostly in silence, but it's peaceful. The sound of the water and the way Steve massages the foamy shampoo into your hair has you on the brink of sleep. His hands soft between the wet tendrils on your head, his thumb smoothing down the back of your neck, pressing into the tired muscle gently. Sore from the stiff tension you held while panicking, and you groaned feeling your body finally start to relax. You felt like you were floating, barely hearing Steve when he asked you to turn around so you could rinse the shampoo out.

When your shower is finished, Steve makes sure to dress you in only his clothes, freshly folded in his laundry basket, still waiting to be put away from early in the day.

He sits down on his bed with a notepad in his lap, and a pen at the ready?

"What's that for?" you ask, scrunching as much water as you can out of your hair with one of the towels.

"Give me my list, what do I gotta do"

You blush, feeling a little embarrassed, but still you sit next to him with a sigh. "I'm going to sound crazy okay? And it's going to sound so stupid, because germs don't ever bother me, until it's this" you say waving your hand in the air around you.

"I like a little crazy" he said with a smirk and a shrug. "NUMBER ONE" he says loudly while numbering his paper.

You go on to tell him all the things you do when you do the cleaning yourself. You clean every surface you can think of that the person has touched, or potentially touched. Doorknobs, the doorframes, the faucets in the bathroom, and in the kitchen, any dish they've used. The toilet (obviously) the floor around it, the tank of the toilet, the handle. He writes it all down as quickly as you say it, words tumbling out of your mouth in fear that if you stop you'll overthink it too much and make yourself feel worse about your phobia.

And he does it all, he cleans everything, and maybe a little bit more diligently than you would and it makes your heart swell that he'd do this for you. A Saturday night where the two of you would have been tucked up in his bed, limbs tangled around each other, but instead he's scrubbing every inch of the island in his kitchen without a care in the world. He even goes as far as to disinfect the outside handle of the front door "just incase" All because he's hopelessly, and endlessly in love with you, and you couldn't be more head over heels in love with him.

[pumpkinsy0]

HC’s for a Dallas,Two, and Tim poly relationship? (They’re low key…the 60’s version of twilight)

i shall call them tal-bit☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽and look, im ngl, never rlly watched/read twilight, only remember some of the first movie😭😭

maybe we can all just call em total drama terrain, got all their initials in it and its almost similar to total drama island which look, theyre a messy group its not too far off

•tbh id say poly relationship w question marks bc TECHNICALLY, none of em r dating, but they r def more than friends

•think of em like those popular circle of kids in school who r all friends w each other but they have a habit of getting w other ppl only within that circle and thats what they r

•tbh nobody particularly cares for them being together, maybe at first its like a “hes screwing WHO now🤨🤨” but after that, ppl just move on, and they arent in a relationship w each other, so its not like ppl r gossiping going “i heard ___ is cheating on ______ w ____”, yknow???

•two and tim dont rlly see each other THAT much, so its mainly tim and dally ppl see together a lot, but if dallys locked up, u can see them a lil more frequently

•bc they r all technically not together, dally gets back together w sylvia or some other girl at times and tim and two r just like “oh ok” and just rock w each other for a while

•neither of them rlly say anything, but GOODDDD FORBID TIM OR TWO DO THE SAME, cause then dally would go “look what the cat dragged in” when they inevitably come back to sm

•two sometimes talks to darry about it and its like that one audio that goes “and he took his shirt off and my body had a reaction” “i dont need to know about that u keep that to urself” he does NOT wanna know about allat

•verrryyyy rarely do they all get drunk together and like make out or whatever, i dont even think they liked it that much, that was like a one time maybe 5 time thing

•i just got a vision of two bit trying to dramatically stop tim and dally from fighting by saying “this isnt like u” and ik theyd hate that so BAD cause yea!!! it is actually!!!!

•theyre all relatively the same height and accidentally swap clothes, but NEVER w two bits shirts, its obvious whos shirt is two bits

•they mostly meet up in (U GUESSED IT) bucks bar🗣️🗣️

[lucythornwalter]

Wait a minute, I hear you say. Why are we starting with Felicity? She’s neither the first girl to be released (that’s technically a three-way tie, but the honor is usually given to Kirsten) nor the earliest chronologically (that would be Kaya). What is it about her that means she deserves the first entries in this project?

Well, she might not be the first for Pleasant Company, but she was the first for me. In 1998, when I was five years old, I saw a single volume of one of Felicity’s books in a spinning book rack at a Hallmark store, and I asked my mother to buy it for me based on the cover art and the title (it was Felicity Saves the Day, and the cover features her riding a horse and looking determined but frightened). I read it in the car, and then read it again, and read it again. I was already fascinated by history and specifically by material history, by books about ordinary life in the past and books about artifacts and customs. An Usborne book about life in the medieval era was one of my favorites, alongside another Usborne book about world geography that talked about languages and religious beliefs. I also loved children’s-aimed history books and movies like An American Tail, even as much of the subtle commentary went over my head. I loved The Wizard of Oz and its period setting, and this was also the year I discovered Annie through the 1998 Wonderful World of Disney adaptation. In 1999 I became hooked on A Little Princess and The Secret Garden, and Cosette from Les Misérables and a kids’ graphic novel adaptation of Oliver Twist. I had a box set of the Little House books and had a favorite (On the Banks of Plum Creek, if you were curious. Yes, I’m aware of the irony of being indigenous and liking these books as a kid, but my parents were more concerned with making sure I never watched the turboracist Westerns when they came on TV, and by comparison the near-absence of Native people in the Little House books was pretty tame).

Essentially, I was exactly the kind of person who’d become fully fixated on the American Girl books, and on opinionated and spunky heroines like Felicity in particular.

So. Who is Felicity Merriman?

Felicity Merriman is the eldest child of Edward and Martha Merriman, who live and work in Williamsburg in 1774. Edward Merriman is a genteel tradesman who owns a prosperous general store, and Martha is the daughter and probable only surviving child of an unnamed Virginia planter who owns a substantial estate called King’s Creek. Felicity’s younger siblings are Nan, William, and Polly. Her best friend is Elizabeth Cole, a recently-arrived new colonist from England whose family is deeply loyal to the British crown. Her books are primarily about struggling to find her place as a straightforwardly masc-of-center tomboy who prefers crossdressing and working in the trades to mending and cooking, and about the social divides caused by growing anti-monarchist sentiment in the American colonies and how her friendships and morals are impacted by the political turmoil.

Felicity Merriman is also a slaveowner, from a slaveowning family, and at no point do the original six books manage to address this. In fact, they actively avoid it – the status of her father’s assistant Marcus as an enslaved person is only confirmed in the “Looking Back: A Peek Into the Past” section of Meet Felicity once, and while it’s acknowledged that King’s Creek Plantation is a slave-worked plantation with slave quarters, the text of Felicity Saves the Day never states outright that she interacts with slaves despite the illustrations depicting her in the fields alongside them. There’s a darker-skinned woman named Rose who assists her mother domestically, and unlike Marcus she is never confirmed to be either enslaved or free, forcing me to come to the conclusion that she’s probably also owned by the Merriman household and thus by Felicity.

This is the original and damning sin of Felicity’s books and character concept, and it cannot be escaped. Felicity’s social status protects her from a lot of misbehavior and allows her the luxury of a leisurely girlhood with easy education and no expectation that she work for a living beyond being a genteel housewife. She has to pitch in around the house along with her mother and Rose, but she has plenty of time to ride horses and play with her siblings, and she gets away with doing nothing all summer while her laundry and mending and food are all magically done with no effort from her.

This is also one of the twin original and damning sins of America-as-settler-colony – the irony of slaveowners calling for and fighting for a narrow definition of freedom with broad ideals that they only want to take for themselves is at this point a very old topic of conversation. The other sin, the theft of land and the genocide of Native people, isn’t mentioned at all in Felicity’s books. Felicity Saves the Day is at least conscious of the casual cruelty of the Merrimans and devotes much of its Looking Back chapter to discussion of plantation life for slaves, but the only mention indigenous people get is a comment in Meet Felicity that we lived in North America for fifteen thousand years prior to European settlement. Where did we go? What happened to us? Pleasant Company isn’t that concerned with the question.

As a result, Felicity’s books are best read with something of a critical eye. Once you see how completely and how purposefully slavery is erased from her daily life, it becomes impossible to ignore, and kind of drowns out all the other things that are still excellent. And that’s a real shame, I think. There’s a lot to be examined here, about girlhood in the 1770s and girlhood in the 1990s, about class and gender and how those things impact and frustrate Felicity, about how she grows in confidence and about her sense of justice. Those things had an impact on me – I was inspired by her at five years old and I can recognize that fondness and desire to be just like her now, twenty-six years later.

Ultimately, I can love and appreciate what I, personally, internalized about her story and her journey to womanhood, but I’m never going to be able to uncritically lose myself in her world again. That’s the best and most comprehensive introduction I can give, and even that isn’t enough to effectively answer for what Pleasant Company chose to do. I can’t defend it, and I won’t defend it, but this was neither the first nor last book series I loved that was written by racists. I love it enough to say it fucked up badly, and I will be talking about this as it comes up (or doesn’t) in the text. That’s the best I can offer.

So let’s Meet Felicity.

[cellard0ors]

Fic: Bare

Fandom: The Quarry

Pairing: Travis Hackett/Laura Kearney

Rating: EXPLICIT

Summary: Travis discovers Laura has a surprise.

Warning(s): SEX. Creampie. Waxed body parts. Rough sex. Language.

Notes: While technically this falls within 'The Full Deck series' it is probably the least connected one - i.e., anyone could read this without having read anything else in the series.

Travis would never dream of taking advantage of his fiancée.

...that being said.

It's hard to resist the temptation Laura presents, especially when she's asleep. It's in the very early hours of the morning and Travis had actually been enjoying some time off. The new sheriff of North Kill has been so busy with his re-election campaign and not wanting Travis to be a part of it, that he approved of Travis having a little leave with pay.

Travis isn't going to complain. He deserves the rest, never mind it's only being given to him because Sheriff Malloy doesn't want to remind the townsfolk of who used to be in his position - as if seeing Travis will cause them to riot and ask for his reinstatement. Travis isn't interested in being reinstated. He isn't interested in anything save the lovely young blonde currently sleeping in his bed - their bed.

The thought warms his heart and he recognizes how watching her in this moment is probably creepy, but - again - hard not to. His future wife, Laura Kearney, adorable and vulnerable in sleep.

She worked a hard, late shift last night and she's clearly exhausted. He didn't even feel her get into bed with him, just woke up to find her next to him - deliciously unclothed save a pair of red and black plaid boy shorts on. It was tempting this morning to wake her (in a sexy fashion) but his need for the restroom and breakfast had taken over. So, Travis got up and did his normal morning routine.

Now?

Now he can get back to his original idea - after all, he's still in his pajamas - no reason not to crawl right back into bed with her. He carefully pulls back the sheets enough to climb under, kissing her naked left shoulder as he does so.

Laura murmurs in her sleep, but doesn't wake and Travis is gentle as he eases the curves of her body up against his, cuddling her close. Again, slight noises from deep within her throat, but nothing to signal her as fully conscious.

Travis's lips rest against the nape of her neck, tiny golden curls tickling his nose as one of his hands spans over her left hip, squeezing it with the breadth of his palm before his clever fingers ease their way down the front elastic of her underwear, his hand intent on cupping her sex.

Only as his fingers descend downwards, he finds an unexpected path of smooth skin. Very smooth skin. His eyes widen and a startled gasp escapes him. It's not terribly loud, but between the gasp and his actions, he feels Laura go stiff in his grip and hears her loud intake of breath as she fully wakens, "Travis?"

"Laura, what-?"

"Um, remember when my old school friend Becky visited last week?"

It's an odd transition, but he allows it, "Yeah?"

"Well-?" He can hear her licking her lips nervously, "Like I told you, we went to a spa in Gravestone and got all these fancy treatments done and one of the ones they offered was waxing so I-? Um? Got waxed?"

It's stated as a question, but there's no question about it - Laura got waxed. Down there. 'There' being said body part he has in one hand. Her pussy...it's been waxed, it's hairless.

Gravestone, the next town over, has always offered more than North Kill. They used to be considered 'the big city' in some ways, boasting a mall, a movie theater, and all kinds of entertainment venues long before North Kill did. Travis didn't know they had a spa until Laura told him.

And now, touching what he is, he's glad they do as he slowly removes his hand, as he husks, "I have to see it. Let me see..."

He urges her to roll over on to her back as he quickly slides down the length of her, intent on removing her underwear. He does so easily and is greeted by an unbelievably erotic sight.

Laura naked is always a joy to behold - but right now...

Her eyelids are still heavy from sleep and her gorgeous, small breasts are on full display - their pink tips beckoning him as always, but for once he shuns them in favor of something far more enticing. His eyes scan down her midriff, her soft belly, the little dip of her navel and the width of her hips, eyes going lower and lower until he can feast on the sight of her bare cunt.

Travis remembers the hair from before - well trimmed, almost a landing strip, but this...

Laura presses her thighs closer together, as if embarrassed, but he lets out shushing sounds, the same way he would if he was trying to calm a wary animal. He reaches out and draws his fingertips lightly over the tops of her thighs, running them up and down reassuringly before going to her knees, gently tapping them in a silent request for her to lift them up, for her to bend her legs, and while he notices her idly chewing on one of her thumbnails, she does as asked.

Travis recognizes her anxious habit, but there's no reason for her to be, as he darkly intones, "You're so beautiful. So goddamn lovely..."

Laura draws in a loud breath, but doesn't respond, at least not with words. Instead she lets her legs fall open more and he groans, "Fuck, sweetheart...how did I get so lucky?"

It's a question he's asked himself more than once, but especially now as he gets a full view of her rosy pussy. He's heard all the flowery descriptors - calling it a peach, the lips petals, and so on and now he understands them. Mainly from the sweet gentle colors - mixtures of pink and violet and he reaches out to trace one exposed lip with his right forefinger, moaning at the feeling, "So soft..."

Laura whispers his name, her tone tremulous, but he's too lost in his own world as he traces the other lip. Then, as carefully as he can, he uses his thumbs to part them, to look deeper. She squirms beneath him, clearly a little disconcerted by his open perusal of such a sensitive and secret part of her.

Granted, Travis has buried his face between her legs more times than he can count, but he understands her hesitation. After all, he's never just stared at her before. But how can he not? With her hair gone, it's almost like he's witnessing something new. An unknown facet of her body, one he thought he had mapped out so well.

A nervous, giddy sound escapes Laura as she mumbles something under her breath and he releases his hold as he asks her to repeat it. She blushes even as she says, "Becky said you'd like it. This was my first time, but she's done it before. Said guys love it and she said you wouldn't be able to get enough of, um, my 'shiny, new pussy'."

The last is said with no small amount of embarrassment on Laura's part, but it just makes him grin wickedly, "Did she now?"

Laura simply hums and Travis tilts his head in assent, "Smart girl."

"So...you like it?" Laura asks, an uncharacteristically self-conscious vibe around her, "It-? It was supposed to be a surprise-"

"It was." He promises, but she rolls her eyes, clearly not done, "-but not yet. I had it all planned out. Besides, I know this isn't what you're used to."

His eyebrows rise, his confusion obvious, only for her to sigh, "I've seen your Playboys, remember? The women of your fantasies had bush and I imagine the other women you were with had-!"

"I don't care about that." He answers succinctly, even as he starts using his thumbs to tenderly stroke the outer folds of her downy cunt, "I don't care about them. Only you. I love you."

Laura's nostrils flare, her pupils dilating at his actions as he whispers, "And you can have as much or as little hair down here as you like...so long as you'll still let me in."

His hands move to grasp her beneath her knees, lifting her slim legs so that they fall over his shoulders as he lowers himself, his eyes level with her pussy as he rasps, "Please, Laura. Can I come in?"

Travis moves his mouth closer to her bare, quivering mound, his breath caressing her intimately, "Can I taste you?"

Laura whimpers 'Yes' even as Travis's tongue slickly parts her folds. He delves the silken point of it deep into her and god. He's done this before, but somehow this feels as if it's his first time. With so much of her exposed it feels easier to go lower, to sink deeper, to draw her pussy farther into his mouth, to pull it against his tongue, his lips. He's both openly kissing and devouring her, and she's crying out, back arching at the contact.

Each flick of his tongue seems wired to some electrical nerve ending in her body that makes her gasp, makes her jerk, but never once does he let up. Fuck, she tastes so good. Better than ever - succulent and sweet and he could happily drown in her juices. The scent of her arousal is strong and floral, the aroma of it filling his lungs, his dick - cock hard and trapped beneath him and his own hips thrust against the mattress in an effort to alleviate some of the ache building there and in his balls.

Travis stops kissing and licking at her only so he can press one finger up into her - or, better to say - so he can watch himself press one finger up into her and it glides in and out so easily, her channel wet and warm as he growls, "Jesus...I can see you so much better now. Can watch you taking me so well."

Laura can only answer with a whine before she turns over to tortured cries, his actions becoming rabid as he starts fucking her in earnest with that finger, as she starts riding it, her hips pressing downwards. But it's even better seeing it.

Without the hair, at his current vantage point, Travis can actually watch as her body swallows that finger whole. He adds another, carefully stretching her and her inner walls are drawing him in so lovingly. Travis lets out another desperate moan, the visual so heartbreakingly stunning as to make him feel as if he can cum from this alone. As if just watching her ride on two of his fingers with her shiny new pussy will take him there.

As a younger man, it no doubt would have. Thankfully age does have some benefits as he's able to easily hold out, able to add his tongue back into the equation enough to tickle it across the tender nub of her clit, making her shriek as an orgasm rolls through her. Her nails tear at his shoulder blades, his back, his hair, and Travis treasures every sharp scratch as she undulates beneath him, her climax a long, toe-curling one.

Satisfaction coils in his belly as he hears her wild wails slowly fall in volume, as she shudders beautifully beneath him and he withdraws his soaking hands, his sopping wet mouth. No doubt his chin and the tip of his nose are glistening just as much as his lips from his delectable mouthful and he cautiously rises up, his back not what it used to be.

In one of his few sexual fails, he'd actually pulled a muscle in his back one time when she'd been on top of him. It had been both humbling and humiliating. Laura, for her part, was equal parts amused and worried and while she'd assured him it was no big deal, he’s still sensitive about the issue.

Thus, he's begun to take more care when it comes to their lovemaking, especially in regard to his own movements. He moves leisurely to his knees on the mattress as he draws off his shirt, as he removes his underwear and pj's. Once he's as naked as she is, he looks down at her in admiration. She's glowing from head to toe - the expanse of her skin delightfully bright as he openly stares at her once more.

Her heavy breathing has dwindled since her release, but it still holds a breathless, smoky quality, "You really do like it, huh?"

He nods and physically draws her towards him, urging her legs to wrap up around his hips. She does so without pause, her heels pressing against his bare ass even though he has had yet to enter her. And he's going to, but Jesus fucking Christ, the sight of his dick near her bald pussy…

It's practically unbearable.

He takes himself in hand and rubs the plush head of his dick along her slit, then each lip, the feeling exquisite. Laura whines his name - twisty and impatient - and she's biting her bottom lip with her cute little white teeth and he lets out a hefty sigh, "Pretty sure this is how I'm going to die someday."

"That a bad thing?" She asks it with such naughty delight it's hard not to laugh, so he does, a rumbling sound that's always such a surprise to him. Only she can make him laugh now. After everything he'd been through, he thought he'd never laugh again. So the action always surprises him, always comes across as rusty.

But Laura is making it less so each time she manages to bring it forth and he kisses her quickly, before intoning, "Think you might have to keep it like this. Naked-"

Travis snaps his hips forward, his cock surging into her without mercy making her shout even as he growls, “-filled with my dick. Would you like that, baby?”

Her head tosses, blonde hair a cloud, her mouth hanging open as she pants, and Travis has never seen a more beautiful sight in all his life. Yet it miraculously grows in beauty as he begins drilling her with force and he watches her petite breasts jiggle with movement.

He feels unhinged as he finds the right rhythm, the perfect tempo, his speed neigh brutal and Laura’s features are twisted between pleasure and pain as she answers him, as she arches her back and draws him in deeper.

They’ve had sex multiple times, yet somehow she remains so hot, so tight, so perfect. Her inner walls pulse around him, drag on him as if trying to keep him inside, and that only spurs him on, only makes him fuck her with more ferocity. Especially when he looks down and sees the hot, sweet spot where they’re connected.

The sight of her bare cunt swallowing him, taking every single thick inch of him again and again is more than he can handle. His grip on her hips is punishing and he can hear a wet, slick sound that isn’t just that of their bodies meeting, but of his balls slapping against her ass and the sheer filthy knowledge of it knocks him over the edge.

Travis’s slamming, heavy thrusts stop as he goes rigid, as he lets out a gut-wrenching groan and starts spilling into her. A spill that seems endless as her body responds with an answering stiffness, her second climax making Laura shudder, his name a teeth clenching, high-pitched hiss. They both unravel against one another, in one another.

Eventually some of Travis’s sanity returns, but only some, because as he pulls his cock from the trembling sheath of her body, he goes back to lowering himself between her legs once more. His mouth returns to her mound, returns to her well used pussy and he can taste his release and hers and he’s ravenous as he kisses and licks at her.

Laura's a shivering, overstimulated mess beneath him and her fingers curl like claws into Travis’s shoulders as she begs for mercy. A cruel, slightly sadistic streak runs through him as he continues, even despite her pleas. Travis can bring her off again. He knows he can.

But while it’s tempting to truly tear her apart, at the end of the day, he can never deny Laura anything she wants, so he carefully pulls away, carefully rises up and kisses her trembling mouth. Laura truly is the most gorgeous girl on the planet to him - she looks so well used, so well loved.

Which is fitting, considering Travis has never loved nor will he ever love, anyone as much as he loves, Laura. His future wife...

Feeling dopey with the knowledge and the gentle hum of his afterglow, Travis kisses each of her cheeks, her lips, his voice crushed glass on asphalt, “Too much?”

Her blue eyes flash and he can’t help but give a truly malicious grin as he knows the answer all too well. Travis kisses the tip of Laura's nose as an apology, “T’be fair – you started it.”

Blonde eyebrows rise incredulously, and he brushes some fingers lightly over her plush sex, “Keeping this a secret from me.”

“Told you…” Her voice is a whisper, her vocal chords clearly recovering from her screams of ecstasy, “Was supposed to be a surprise.”

“Hmm, 's a good one.”

Suddenly she looks a little cagey and Travis zeroes in on it as any good cop would, “What?”

“Um – well? There is a bit more to it.”

“Yeah?” It’s asked harmlessly, but Laura is suddenly scarlet red, and Travis has no idea why until she manages a weak, “They also waxed my, um-?”

Her hips make a weak rise and Travis is lost, confused. What? They waxed her legs too? That doesn’t seem very-?

Then Travis’s eyes go wide. Large. Dinner plate sized. She lifted her hips specifically. He knows her pussy has been waxed. She can’t possibly mean…

“It’s-? My-? Ah-?” Laura ducks her head and she’s so quiet as to be nearly silent. But he hears it.

‘Other hole’.

…her other…

Travis didn’t think it was possible, yet, apparently it is.

He’s hard again.

Fully.

Laura. Bare. At both ends.

This truly is how he’s going to die. But what a way to go…

[krikeymate]

I feel like all my anonymous requests are really depressing cause I’m just a lil angst goblin.

I was reading a fic where Sam was getting beat up cause if the rumours about her and I was thinking about how the deaths of the Bailey family would play into that conspiracist narrative. I was especially thinking about ethan’s death I mean even if you just look at the scream fandom there are pages and pages on Ethan who really didn’t have that much of an impact but…SHOCKER, he’s white, male and conventionally attractive so it’s literally impossible to escape him (no hate or anything but cmon fandom let the other characters shine) anyways I got so side tracked there. I can imagine Ethan being really glorified and fawned over by people in the scream universe itself in was way that actual serial killers were because people thought they were attractive (ew). Upon hearing that Tara was the one to kill ethan (i know it was technically Kirby but they did it together) I think the conspiracists would go insane and can you imagine a scene where Tara and Sam are just walking together before they both get jumped but Tara is the target of this attack and Sam is just held down unable to do anything while she has to watch tara get brutally attacked.

Well, Tara is my whump blorbo. There's a place for angst in our lives, because it's not about the pain at all, it's about the aftermath. It's about the being picked up, and the softness and the love and the support. It's about being reminded that no matter what we go through, there is a brighter side to be found and there are people who will help you reach it and sit in the sun with you. Anyway, none of that here.

~

Ethan Landry. Sweet, dorky, Ethan. He couldn't find his way out of a wet paper bag, people say. Soft, and shy, and smiled awkwardly at girls. Always nervous, but tried his best. Murdered. They tried to say he attacked them, that he wanted to kill them, that he was a savage monster. Who would fall for such a lie? He didn't even like horror movies, he was shaky around blood.

Samantha Carpenter is to blame, they know. It's heavily debated as to whether she attacked her sister last year, or whether it was simply a home invasion and she took the opportunity to make it something more, to sate her blood lust. But Richie was innocent, they all agree on that. A wonderful man who was guilty only of loving the wrong woman. That poor teenager, the best friend of her sister's... well of course Samantha decided she had to go, she wanted her sister to herself.

And it works! Because here they are, a year later, and it's the sister who does the deed, who thrusts the knife into Ethan's mouth, who twists it, slices it open. He'd had a crush on her, sources say. She used it to lead him to his doom. It was deliberate, pre-planned, it had to have been. Why else would he follow her there? Tara Carpenter may have been innocent, once upon a time, but not anymore. She's spent too long in her sister's clutches, corrupted, ruined. Just look at how passionately she defends her, as if she were innocent, as if the truth wasn't out there.

We should help her, some say, get her away from her sister, imagine what she could tell us, what she could reveal! She needs to pay, say others, she's just as guilty as her sister, it's too late for her.

No one agrees on how to stop this madness.

~

Sam's walking Tara home from her evening class. It feels a little surreal. A month ago, Tara would never have agreed to this, Sam had been desperate to do this. And here they are, Sam's hand attached to her sister's as Tara waves it around in the air, complaining about the professor. (She's not sure what she's talking about, but she's just happy to see Tara this animated).

They're turning the corner when they bump into someone... someone's. There's a couple of guys in hoodies, with surgical masks on their face. "Oops, sorry!" Tara smiles up at them, pulling Sam to move around them. They step back into her path, and Sam begins to feel nervous. Tara's hand tightening around hers tells her she feels the same.

Sam steps backwards, but before she has a chance to speak, arms wrap around her from behind and she's yanked away from Tara, as her sister is shoved to the floor.

"Hey what the fu-" Sam manages, before a hand is covering her mouth, jaw wrenched closed as her head is forced backwards against someone's chest. More arms appear to grip at her own and hold her back.

Tara is thrown to the floor, and a boot kicks out at her arm, stepping on her wrist as she tries to reach into her pocket. The figure looming over her bends down to reach into her jacket, and pulls out the taser she was reaching for. Scoffing, he hands it to one of his companions.

"What did we ever do to you," she growls, breathing deep to push down her fear. "It's not what you did to us," he says with conviction, "it's what you've done to others. What you'll do again!"

Sam kicks out and tries to speak, understanding setting in. Someone punches her in the stomach.

"We haven't done anything!" Tara yells, watching her sister get hurt. She tries to get up off the floor only to be kicked down again with a boot to the chest. "Just leave us alone!"

"But you have!" The one holding Sam shouts. "You killed Ethan! She-" he shakes Sam, "killed Richie and all those others." "They were innocent and you killed them," another pipes up. A chorus of agreement follows, and for the first time, the girls begin to notice just how many people are surrounding them. 6... 7, no, there's more further back, hiding in the shadows... watching. Some of them have their phones out, recording.

"You're going to pay for what you've done," the one looming over Tara declares.

"It was self-de-" he kicks her in the jaw, her head snapping to the side and smacking back against the pavement. He pulls her up from the floor, hands fisting her jacket and slams her back into anothers waiting arms.

Sam struggles against the numerous arms holding her back, unable to move. Her head is pinned, her jaw is clamped shut, tears begin to fall.

The ringleader leans in close to Tara's face, eyes meeting her dazed ones. "Your sister seems upset. Is it real, or just another act? Is she even capable of caring? I mean, she wanted you for a reason, right?"

"Fuck you," Tara snarls back. He grins, rewarding her with a backhand. "It doesn't have to be this way, Tara," he speaks, voice softening in faux-compassion. He cups her chin. "Just tell us the truth, tell everyone what she did, what she made you do, and it can all be over.

"She didn't make me do anything!"

"So you admit it, you killed Ethan in cold blood?" His voice is frantic, delighted.

"Ethan was a sadistic little fuck who got what he deserved." Tara finds herself thrown back to the floor. "He was a nice boy who never hurt anyone!" the one who threw her shouts, kicking her.

Tired of Sam's struggling, the one holding the taser moves closer, releasing it into her stomach. She groans, body twitching. Her legs give way beneath her, held up only by the formless figures clutching at her. They drop her to the floor and a boot presses down on her back. Sam is stuck, unable to convince her body to move, prongs digging in painfully from their place stuck between her skin and the pavement. She can do nothing but watch as the two figures assault her sister, kicking her, watching them pull her onto her back to hurt her some more.

"Stop, please, please stop," Sam begs. She's ignored.

It's only the sirens closing in that make it stop, dark figures scattering. She manages to drag herself forward, limbs slow to respond and shaky. "Tara," she cries. Her sister doesn't respond, still and bleeding.

[johaerys-writes]

Ch. 13: So Good At Being In Trouble

Read on AO3 | Read from the beginning

The spray can rattles when Menelaus shakes it. He stretches to his full height and presses the pump, and a blood red stream of paint leaves the dispenser in a condensed mist, glistening on the wall.

“Missed a spot there,” Odysseus says, pointing at the top of the letter. Menelaus carefully completes the word, then takes several steps back to inspect his handiwork. 

“Trojans suck massive dick,” Achilles reads out loud, in a flat and bored tone. “Real imaginative right there, Atreides. Eloquent, too.” 

Menelaus glares at Achilles over his shoulder. “Got any better ideas, Pelides?” 

“Tons, but I doubt you want to hear them.” Achilles rolls his eyes. “Why are we even doing this in the first place?”

“That’s easy to answer, Blondie,” Diomedes says with his wolfish smile, leaning against the wall of the abandoned building opposite Troy High. “Because those shithead Trojans asked for it. They came to our turf; this is payback.”

“What does Helen ditching Menelaus for Paris have anything to do with the Trojans coming to our turf? Or with us at all, in any case? That’s Menelaus’ deal,” Achilles protests. “She is— was — his girlfriend, they should figure it out themselves. Why is everyone getting involved?”

“It concerns us all,” Menelaus counters hotly, his round and rosy face flushing a deeper red. “The Trojans have no respect for anything! It was our party they came to and crashed last weekend. Ours. And then that bastard had the nerve to take my girl and leave. Should we let this insult stand?”

She seemed quite happy to follow him, Patroclus almost says, but knows well enough that Menelaus is in no mood to listen. So he keeps his peace, watching the familiar argument unfold instead.  

“Well, I kind of hate to say this,” Achilles says, though he seems more than pleased to point out what he thinks is the obvious, “but the party was at your house. So technically, I should think, it was your turf, not ours. And most of the Trojans were just hanging out, not causing any trouble. Other than Paris, that is, but—”

“I said, it concerns us all!” Menelaus insists. “They came looking for trouble. So we’re giving them trouble. Are we a team or not?”

“Fuck yeah we are,” Diomedes says. “I say we give them hell, brother.” He fist bumps Menelaus and Odysseus in turn. Achilles groans.

“Perfect. Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest, the movie.” He tips the fizzy orange juice can over his lips and takes a healthy sip. “And how is painting graffiti outside their school walls ‘giving them trouble’, anyway?” 

“That’s only a small, friendly warning,” Odysseus says. “Hopefully they get the message on Monday. First thing in the morning.” 

Diomedes grins, winking at his friend. “What a way to start the week, eh?” 

The way they’re both standing like this, at either side of Menelaus, they’re like the angel and devil on his shoulder. Only they both look like little devils right now, Odysseus with his sly smirks and Diomedes with that sharp gleam in his eye. 

Patroclus digs into his paper bag of fries, watching everything from the bench he’s currently sitting on next to Achilles. When the boys invited them to swing by Troy High for the grill shop that makes killer souvlaki nearby, he didn’t expect that this was what they��d be having in mind. Odysseus and Diomedes are always down for trouble, eager to goad others into stupid challenges and then reap the rewards of the devastation they sow. And though Achilles isn’t usually far behind, he’s been less and less eager to follow lately. Mainly, Patroclus thinks, it’s because a lot of their problems have been revolving around girls right now—those that they have or have not, or those they’d like to have. Achilles never misses a chance to express his displeasure and scorn about that.

Menelaus shrugs carelessly and turns around, to complete his masterpiece with a carefully drawn impression of an erect penis underneath the letters. Odysseus and Diomedes follow suit in support and encouragement. Achilles’ eyes roll so hard, Patroclus thinks they’ll get stuck permanently into his skull. 

“Ever since Helen ran off with that ding-dong, Menelaus’s IQ has been dropping by the day,” he says in a low voice to Patroclus, ripping a piece of pita and bringing it to his mouth. “Perhaps it’ll be good if he spends some time away from her.” 

“I heard that,” Menelaus grumbles.  

“Good, I meant you to. Girls are only trouble, you know.” He winks at Patroclus, smiling mischievously. “Good think we don’t have any of that to worry about, right?” 

Patroclus laughs under his breath, picking up a perfectly charred chicken skewer from the box. At the very least, the grill shop was worth the trip all the way to Troy. 

Menelaus, Diomedes and Odysseus are just about finished covering the wall of the abandoned house opposite the school with swear words and offensive drawings, when the sound of police sirens reaches them from a distance.

Read the rest on AO3!