#so she'll just get my shoes and things if she wants tbh

[malocclusive]

My bud sent this to me the other day, and I was laughing at myself today referring to myself as "little daddy" in reference to the girls

Still trying to get my loved ones to use Mal and they or he but we're working on it, hopefully

[thebloodredraven]

Akatsuki Secret [sub] Kinks - Part I

lineup: itachi uchiha, hidan, konan, sasori warnings: mentions and descriptions of rough sex, degradation, dumbification, mommy kink, humiliation, r*pe play, and edging, gender inclusive

- x - notes: I've had this in my drafts for a little while (a year lmao), but I couldn't get Hidan fleshed out tbh. His was hard. Anyways: minors do not interact, comment or reblog if you like it, and make sure to support other fanfic writers ♥ I only do these when the moment strikes so idk when the second part will be published but it'll get done! thanks ♥ - x -

Itachi: degredation/humiliation

Sure, he could be the best pleasure dom you've ever come across ever. Ever. But have you considered he gives you all the praise because he's tired of hearing it for himself? Every waking minute of his life, he has to hear about how great he is. How powerful he is. How nobody will ever amount to his power and prowess as a shinobi. Praise, envy, recognition, infamy, compliments, shoe-shining, ass-kissing, blah blah blah blah blah. He's heard it all before and he's sick of it.

You can't convince me he wouldn't fold, or at least pause him in his tracks, if someone told him he wasn't as special as everyone claimed he was. That he wasn't worth the hype. That you expected more from someone with his name. That the way he was writhing and keening from your fingers milking his prostate because he hates being edged was unbecoming of him. That Uchiha pride of his would fight back against the accusations and his eyes would burn with hatred, but the beet-red blush that covers his entire face and chest while you're impaling his wet throat tells you he feels otherwise.

That man wants to be spit on and called a cock-sucking whore while he's ass up taking a strap. Call him pathetic. Tell him how stupid he looks with his fucked-out face smothered in the pillows and slick all over his chin from when you sat on his face and smothered him until he couldn't breathe. Laugh at him when he begs for air by tapping your thighs. Ask him how he'd feel if his entire family could see him in a position that would bring the whole clan to shame, and he'd feel freer and more liberated than he has his whole life cause all the expectations people placed on him are GONE and he can just be your dumb little toy.

Konan: dominatrix

I feel it in my gut that this woman is a dominatrix at certain times. She feels like a switch, but the few times she needs to be in that special space? Needs to feel some semblance of control because everything else around her is out of her grasp because someone else has what she wants in their clutches? That's when she slips into that headspace.

Unlike Itachi as a pleasure dom, she's a no-nonsense woman and expects to be obeyed. You'll be rethinking about how you backtalked her when your top half is hanging off the bed while she fucks you with a brutality she learned to harness on the battlefield, the only thing keeping you from falling being her strong grip on your hips.

You've got drool sliding down your cheek and a tight grip on her wrist while she forces moan after moan after moan from you until you're screaming and crying for her to stop. Because after four messy, powerful orgasms you can't take it anymore. It's too much. She'll slow down once she sees you sobbing and bend down to kiss away your tears, letting you get a breather, but she's not pulling out. In fact, you're too dazed by her lips to realize the meaning behind her sliding her hands up your body to rest at the juncture of your neck. She presses one more tender kiss to your ears before whispering in a deceptively kind voice, "I know it's a lot, baby. But you know tears don't move me. Until I hear that safe word, you're going to take it until I'm satisfied you've learned your lesson. Now stop whining and spread your legs wider. You're in for a long night."

Hidan: dumbification/tenderness

You'd think this one would be easy because what you see is what you get most of the time with Hidan: a sadomasochistic pain-obsessed BDSM freak with very little boundaries. He typically requires a lot from sexual partners because that's all he's used to: intensity. Everything with him is always blood, violence, screaming, sacrifice, Jashin, Jashin, Jashin, kill, kill, kill. R8P play, flogging, knife play, golden showers, and even killing him are not above his desires. But this is about secret kinks. There are enough fanfics about him loving the thrill of being bullied by big muscular men to the nth degree, but what's something he'd keep hidden from everyone else? One he might actually feel embarrassed about sharing with someone? One he'd go to great lengths to hide because it's the one thing he's ashamed about feeling like he needs? It's not a kink at all. It's a human emotion that he craves to feel during the moment more than he's willing to admit: It's tenderness. It's making love to him to slow his mind down and coaxing his orgasms from him in a way that doesn't overstimulate him and watching him make sense of it. It's enacting acts of violence against his body with spiked whips, chain-shibari, and barbed wire but pressing a kiss to his fresh, bloodied wounds at the same time. It's making him understand that he craves violence and hedonism because it's the only form of control he ever has and taking it away from him is a risk you love him enough to take. It's being in the throes of pleasure and getting him right to his peak before forcing him to keep eye contact as his pleasure spills over and wracks through his body in waves because of the softness and admiration aimed towards him at his most vulnerable. He'll NEVER admit it out loud and he'd actually kill you if you brought it up any time outside of the bedroom, but you know. He knows you know. It works out.

Sasori: MMlb/DDlb

I see this man portrayed as a hard dom 98% of the time and I'm not mad about it, but........ The same man that figuratively and literally wears a hard shell of a mask to hide his vulnerable and delicate nature? The man that finds beauty in the most macabre things because it's everlasting and immortal, therefore will always be remembered and praised? The man that found peace after death because someone finally understood him? The man that created puppets of his parents for some form of connection to the intimacy that he was robbed of? The Scorpio? That man needs a Mommy with a capital M. He wants to be nurtured. He wants to be held. He wants someone else to hold the strings to his heart for a change. That bad attitude and mean streak doesn't change the fact that that man is a bottom; a bottom leaning switch at MOST.

[thebestofoneshots]

If you could say any song reminds you of Gilded Constellations… what would it be?

As a reader, I can’t put one on the whole thing so far, but Sirius reminds me of Guys Don’t Like Me (by It Boys!) and I can’t put one on Y/N yet… (Remus radiates Conan Grey energy tbh) -🫎

Read Gilded Constellations Here

AAAAAAH THIS IS SOOOO HARD! I literally have a miles long note on my phone with hundreds (kid you not) of songs for the chapters titles. Most of them are 60s to early 80s (because I’m a perfectionist and I want the songs so only be songs our boys would have listen to to), having said that. I’ve got a few modern songs, that I feel also fit the theme… heat me out:

Gilded Constellations is Cherry Wine by Hozier and Las Palabras de Amor by Queen

Don't touch me now Don't hold me now Don't break the spell, darling Now you are near Look in my eyes and speak to me The special promises I long to hear Las palabras de amor Let me hear the words of love Despacito, mi amor Love me slow and gently One foolish world, so many souls Senselessly hurled through The never ending cold And all for fear and all for greed Speak any tongue But for God's sake we need Las palabras de amor

Her eyes and words are so icy Oh but she burns Like rum on the fire Hot and fast and angry as she can be I walk my days on a wire It looks ugly, but it's clean Oh momma, don't fuss over me … Her fight and fury is fiery Oh but she loves Like sleep to the freezing Sweet and right and merciful I'm all but washed In the tide of her breathing And it's worth it, it's divine I have this some of the time The way she shows me I'm hers yours and she is mine Open hand or closed fist would be fine The bIood is rare and sweet as cherry wine

Sirius is Too Much Love Will KiII You by Queen

Too much love will kilI you If you can't make up your mind Torn between the lover and the love you leave behind You're headed for disaster 'cause you never read the signs Too much love will kiIl you every time Mmm, how would it be if you were standing in my shoes? Can't you see that it's impossible to choose No, there's no making sense of it Every way I go I'm bound to lose Oh-oh, yeah Too much love will kiII you Just as sure as none at all It'll drain the power that's in you Make you plead and scream and crawl And the pain will make you crazy You're the victim of your crime Too much love will kiIl you every time

Reader is Vega by Ed Sheeran

This week was heavy, I buckled under all the weight What can you do but pray? And count your blessings, it wasn't any other way Don't leave it up to fate … Clouds keep forming over this house, blocking out the sun I'm tryna keep it all together One door closes then one opens, gotta keep the focus If we'll believe, then she'll get better The days are long, but they pass within an instant, babe It is the strangest thing I'll count my blessings the day I see you smile again This war we've got to win Keep it inside, don't let no one see your heart No one can judge, we're the same in the dark Fighting the tide, but the waves, they will part Light up the night, we were made to be stars But it burns like hell to be Vega

Remus is Demons by Imagine Dragons (but also like 100 other songs Remus is all the songs)

When the days are cold And the cards all fold And the saints we see are all made of gold (Sirius) When your dreams all fail And the ones we hail Are the worst of all, and the bIood's run stale I wanna hide the truth I wanna shelter you But with the beast inside There's nowhere we can hide No matter what we breed We still are made of greed This is my kingdom come This is my kingdom come When you feel my heat, look into my eyes It's where my demons hide It's where my demons hide Don't get too close, it's dark inside It's where my demons hide It's where my demons hide At the curtain's call It's the last of all When the lights fade out, all the sinners crawl So they dug your grave And the masquerade Will come calling out at the mess you've made

And lastly, Chapter 20: Bad Moon Rising is Frozen Pines and The World Ender by Lord Huron

Deep into the night With the moonlight as my guide I go wander through the pines And make my way to nature's shrine

You'll hear me howl by the light of the moon That's how you'll know that I'm coming for you Gonna find you alone in the dark of night When the World Ender comes better run for your life

Read Gilded Constellations Here

[waywardsculs-a2]

so since they're here on a test basis right now, i'm going to put down a little headcanon post for the new muses i'm trying out with whatever can come to mind. obviously some will have more than others.

Alastor

i'm going with grey-ace for him, demiromantic. he'll need a lot of work if you want to get close to him, but i doubt that's a surprise in the slightest.

zero sexual or ( genuine ) romantic experience. he can flirt as long as he needs to in order to obtain something, but that's about it. he's charming by nature, but also absolutely unhinged.

if you do manage to get close to him in that regard you need to know he will be extremely murder - happy with anyone that tries to step in. meaning if someone tries to get in the way of the relationship? hope you didn't value your life.

hates having his tail and ears touched. unless he actually trusts you, but you still have to ask first.

whatever you do, don't try to touch him without consent first. he hates it and will not hesitate to kill you if you ignore this.

don't expect him to be gentle at first. he doesn't really know how to be that. it'll take a lot of learning because he hates being vulnerable.

Blitzo

i'm putting it out here now my default for him is in fact stolitz but i'm sure that's no surprise. i'm not really into blitz/fizz as anything other than friends/childhood crushes.

he's pan through and through and doesn't really need an emotional attachment for sex, but he definitely prefers it.

despite the shit he loves to give moxxie and millie he'd never actually try anything with them. ( he's just jealous )

most of his emotion will show in his tail - his true emotions that is. he still can't control himself very well.

why yes i am keeping him emotionally stunted because we all know that he is and quite frankly i understand how he feels way too well.

sure you can date him, but he won't ever tell you he loves you because he's afraid of being hurt again .

please don't touch his horns unless he gives you permission. he can and will shoot you point blank in the gut for it.

Carmilla

demi through and through. she really doesn't even think about anything regarding her own relationships, since she's more worried about her daughters and her work.

probably one of the most sleep deprived honestly. she's always got so much going on it's ridiculous.

yes, she wears those angelic steel pointe shoes everywhere when she leaves her home.

zestial and rosie are the only two that have seen her in her more relaxed state, especially the former.

she can and will adopt any she feels are truly in need of a place to call home, but also show great potential in other areas.

i hc her as a fallen angel - this is something she keeps as a secret from almost everyone.

Niffty

i'd probably put her as straight tbh?? girl and her obsession with bad boys smh...

but idk if she'll really do much, she's got her work cut out for her at the hotel after all

you can take the dagger from the girl, but you can't take every weapon from her at all times no matter what you do

Stolas

i'll only ever write him as separated from stella, and default to the octavia he refers to as my own just for simplicity.

he is pan, and honestly? on the verge of being effectively gender blind - meaning that unless your muse is very obviously displaying as a specific gender he'll default to using more neutral terms in hopes of keeping from offending anyone.

absolute hopeless romantic. nothing and no one will ever be able to change that.

yes, he is on antidepressants.

his relationship with octavia is probably one of the most precious things in his life and he'd do anything to keep her safe and help make her happy. he knows he isn't the best dad, but he's doing what he can to improve for her sake.

i am absolutely open to exploring ships with him that don't involve blitzo. just come talk to me about it.

if you're interested in shipping with any of them, only do so with the knowledge in mind that i may not be keeping any of these muses. there's no guarantee unless i really manage to find i have a strong muse for them in the end.

[cherienymphe]

Your comment didn't offend me! I just wanted to explain the reader's side of things because I do understand the concern for how Nat will feel. It's a sticky situation and I won't say whether or not Nat will be fully understanding about it, but Nat will see where the reader is coming from. Nat has guilt of her own she's dealing with on behalf of the reader (that will only worsen after the next chapter). Tbh they're both just miserable and feeling guilty about the other.

And yeah I see why you would want the reader to just tell Peter outright about that night when he asked, but I think there's this assumption Peter will be lenient on her solely because the reader entertained that thought herself. The reader understands the severity of what she did. That's why she doesn't want it to ever come out. Nat neither. I was serious when I said in their eyes, the reader's offense is worse than Nat's. The reader's betrayal is bigger than Nat's. The reader knows she fucked up so bad and it's why she'll never tell the truth about that night unless she's literally forced to because doing so won't make anything easier. It'll just make things a hell of a lot worse

Okay whew! Because I love commenting and I know sometimes I get carried away with my opinions as if I wouldn’t be a mess in this world. I would be doing so much worse than her, and she’s actually holding up really well considering. Every time I think I would be angry in her shoes I remember them boys killing her friends in cold blood and I calm right down. She’s doing well in such a confusing and awful situation.

But back to the conversation, I do understand her side better now, I just feared that Natasha would rather be punished than have it come out that she was pregnant so I was living by that possibility. But I get that the reader felt guilty and wanted to do her best to help her friend in anyway she could, especially since she knows she’s barely eating. But it’s sad that just the chance occurrence that the reader was looking out the window at that very moment will cause so much pain for the both of them. Because I know I joked about snitching but I wouldn’t be able to do that either. And now she’ll pay just for looking out the window and letting a victim escape her abuser.

But I seriously find it so wild that watching the crime is worse than doing it. Natasha runs away but the reader letting her is the real offense? These men are so twisted. Otherwise they would understand why no woman would want to expose the other women like that. They forget that all of these ladies are unwilling participants and in theory they should all be happy if a wife gets away and comes back with help. That’s how broken their minds are because how would you expect her to tell on her friend just for wanting freedom? And I think I did assume he would be more lenient but with the way you phrase it, it makes sense that the information should never get out, although it will anyways. Poor reader. It’s not even like she plotted to help, it was purely coincidence that she saw Nat leaving.

Yes to them, Nat running is only a big deal because she's done so after literal years. She's tried before and they expect it of all the wives when they first take them because why wouldn't they? They're always prepared for it within the first year but Nat has been there for so long and Bucky deluded himself into thinking she was fully settled and he had her completely under his thumb so she'd never run. Even still, a wife making a run for it? Horrible and inconvenient, but not something unheard of nor something they haven't dealt with before.

Reader on the other hand? Reader not telling is a big sign to show where her loyalties lie and it's not with her husband or any of the other men but the wives. Especially Nat. Reader is dangerous now. Because if any of the other wives want to try to escape or hell, want to hurt their husband, the reader isn't going to say anything. Nat accomplished much on her own, but what could she have accomplished if she had help? Nat running only put herself in danger, but in not telling, it shows that the reader is willing to put her wellbeing on the line just to help another wife against her husband and that's a mindset they can't tolerate. Even when she told Peter about the pregnancy, it could've gone so bad for her. Peter could've punished her like Steve would and he would've been "in the right to". He could've told Bucky immediately, put her on blast for the whole household and it's why while I get feeling for Nat who may or may not be pregnant and who may or may not want Bucky to know, the reader really essentially threw herself under the bus just for the chance to keep Nat from being physically hurt

[reservoirreputation]

Just some observations from my (very) slow rewatch of House season 5.

Why's it taking so long? I've said before that this season has a very different tone to previous seasons, and I personally don't like breakup arcs (because that's exactly what's happened between House and Wilson). There's just not been as much urgency to get through the episodes like before, and it truly comes down to my own personal preferences. Anywho, and with that-

5X03- Taub's episode

Mind you, it's been a couple of weeks, but I really like how weirdly practical Taub is, even self-aware, but is also incredibly self-destructive. And that moment where he's ready to spill the beans to his wife, that look on her face? She knew. She's known the whole time. We've not gotten another word from her on the matter, yet, but that was the face of a wife that knows she's being lied to, wanted to pretend otherwise, even fix things in the way of a present, and while she may not know it was exactly cheating, she knew something major was up. And this may be a case of vague memories floating to the surface (I've not seen season five-onwards since it first aired) and could be mixing it up with Wilson's drama, but I feel like Taub's been kicked out. It wouldn't surprise me if he has, that's for sure.

5X05- Thirteen's episode

This poor girl. Not only has she won the bad genetics lottery, it's especially shitty for her. (I believe the paperwork Foreman found showed she had a genetic predisposition to really aggressive Huntington's or something of the like, again, it's been more than a week) And just when she's found somebody to relate to on this level, her girlfriend/fling that seemingly had less time than her, turns out she'll be alright. And despite getting caught hungover on the job, using hospital equipment for herself, getting fired, we end the episode with Thirteen continuing to spiral, ending it as it began.

5X06- Cuddy episode + Taub and Thirteen interactions

I'm covering them first, for obvious reasons, but Taub and Thirteen in this episode? After all of the above? Just, so rich to see the two most self-destructive people on House's team interact. Taub's super depressing approach to fatherhood, Thirteen hiding her laughter as he asks the dealer for some cocaine, I kinda wish they got more time together, TBH. 'Cause, like, neither of them needs to be giving out life advice, and yet here we are.

And Cuddy, oh. Cuddy. I knew I didn't recognize the name 'Joy' and could feel that other shoe drop as we got closer to the end of the episode, but damn. And, god Becca, you don't keep a kid on a whim because you hope they'll change your life for the better. And I know it makes for great TV, but that's just preemptively saddling your kid with future therapy bills. 'Mommy only wanted me to make her feel better and to steal the joy (lol) from another mother' and isn't there paperwork to be signed to prevent this kind of thing? Is it just Jersey that's like this? Again, makes for great TV, but I feel like it didn't have to play out this way.

I think it's my most popular House post to date, but I will say it again: Cuddy had to get on her TIPPY TOES to make out with House, and that little moment where the camera shows her dip like an inch in height? Get this woman a stepladder FFS.

[larchelle-ffxiv]

30-37 for the domesticity meme :)

OH BOY LET'S GOOOOOO

30. raha's a simple dude and just has a chest of drawers for his clothes, with only a couple things hanging (such as a set of formal clothes and some cold weather clothes). chelle on the other hand uses TWO closets because of all the clothing, shoes and accessories that she owns. she's shockingly really organized about them since she always wants to make sure she has outfits ready to go at all times.

31. (insert "(crying) waiting for them to come back" meme from spongebob here)

depends on how long they're away from each other tbh! they'll do their best to call each other on their linkpearls at least once a day, and if it's a longer time away from each other they'll send each other letters/sometimes gifts from where they are.

32. raha has SO MANY terms of endearment for her. my light/light of my life, my star, my love, my heart, darling, my inspiration, etc etc. or just calls her chelle. chelle usually just calls him raha, but if she's feeling mushy she'll call him some variation of darling/my love/my heart. she also still calls him "scholar boy" from their time together during the CT raids. if she's in a teasing mood or is trying to get something steamy going, she likes to pull out stuff like "my sweet allagan prince", "my raha", or even "my lord exarch" lol.

33. "chelle" and "raha" are the most common ones, though he's more likely to use terms of endearment in public than she does. they're both still nervous about it but can introduce each other as "this is my partner" (i think they'd be too nervous to actually flat out say "boyfriend" or "girlfriend", and partner doesn't have to go into detail on anything). people will ask "how's your boyfriend" or "is that your girlfriend" and they'll answer fine to that, albeit with beet red faces ;w;

34. chelle, shockingly enough lmao. raha isn't used to having funds on him and is very good at leaving his coin purse at home. it doesn't phase her though since they live together/share their scion funds.

35. once a week, if possible! they either find a place to eat at/explore together or just have picnics on the beach or on top of a hill.

36. finding a new restaurant to try, a few drinks, then they usually try to go for a walk or find a secluded place before they're recognized by folks. they really love star gazing together, as it brings back good memories of their nightly talks back in the first. at home, they'll snuggle up on the couch together and read while listening to music, or set up an orchestration roll to dance to. he also still plays/sings her songs like when he had tried to show off to her back in post ARR days.

37. 100000%! with how many times these losers have nearly lost each other, they aren't taking a single day they have together for granted. valentione's is probably the one that chelle is the least crazy about since it's a very busy day around most cities, but they do their best to make name days as special as possible.

[crazy-loca-blog]

Hii 🥰

Has your MC / OC or Li ever been sent to the principals office? And if yes why?

If not themselves have their kids ever been sent to the principals office? If so why?

OMG! It's been so long since the last time I did something Caaey/Ethan related that I swear I screamed when I received this and it really made me want to revisit their story (not that I ever wanted to stop doing it tbh, it just seems I sold my soul to my job).

Everybody thought Casey was a goody two shoes (and she was smart enough to take advantage of that, especially in high school lol) so no, she was never sent to the principal's office, she always managed to get away with everything.

Ethan was sent to the principal's office twice. The first one was right after Louise left and a group of kids said some mean things to him because of it. After that, he promised himself he wouldn't give his dad any more trouble because they were already going through a lot, but then, a few years later, he got into a fight while trying to defend his girlfriend from a guy who was making her feel too uncomfortable.

As per their kids, Simone (their middle kid) inherited the sense of making justice both of her parents have. She's got this “savior complex” and she'll definitely be in trouble a few times because of it (basically for fighting things she considers unfair).

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary173

3/6-7/2024

wednesday - thursday

the weekend is going well. or like, my weekend. i guess,

we did errands today. i didn't realize it was tomorrow that my gf was leaving for montreal for 10 days. i'm going to be alone a while. i'm going to miss her a lot. so we had fun today, we went to sorry not sorry, which is some fancy icecream place. it was really good. i got stuff for myself, in the house, and i spent some more money on skincare stuff for the 2 of us. roc retinol, which is mostly for old people i guess but...if it works well for them, just imagine what it could do for us... i guess that makes me sound crazy but i guess i sort of am. it'll be nice to not use retinol from samples for a while, and as long as i keep this job i think i can keep a steady supply of good retinol and other serums, i suppose.

i also got dressed up cute i think, i took selfies, i'll post them tomorrow. maybe. i think. i'll try at least.

despite it being errand day i liked it, i guess just because i was out with my gf for a while. for a bit i wasn't, she had to go to the dentist's to get a final crown for one of the teeth that's been bothering her. very expensive but important for her wellbeing. there's others, but that one seems to have been the biggest issue, so there can be some time between. her mom bought me some stuff at the thrift store, or we went to two, today, i got some stuff at both. i got shorts and a cute shirt at one, the shorts are low rise and small, which is good, because i like to dress like that i guess, and the shirt is very cute. i'll take pics of these when i find what to wear them in. i also got some thin and kind of like, i guess librarian-ish 2007-y glasses, i popped the lenses out, they were like 2 dollars. my gf got a really good shirt, at the 2nd one, a really pretty button up thing, and these crazy shoes that i think i might try to wear a lot . tbh. in the winter at least.

i'm talking about trivial stuff i guess, though. i was just in bed w/ my gf, she'll be leaving at 8pm tomorrow, she flies away at 10. i'm going to be sad, for 10 days. i don't really know how i'll feel going to bed alone. it's going to be the first time in a while i think. it happened when we moved to the first place, because she had to stay at her mom's for work for a few extra weeks. but since, i think we've not ever been very far apart, for very long at least.

of course we started kind of far apart cuz during covid i couldn't go anywhere cuz of my stepdad but that's a whole other thing. i don't really want to be alone in here i guess. i don't like thinking about it, also. it'll be good for recording but i'm going to miss just being in her presence/wake, able to interact and stuff. talk about whatever, have her talk to me about whatever. she is good at that, i don't really say a lot unless spoken to, and she likes to talk. she's good at drawing me out.

she is also very sad. i think it will hit her kind of hard in the hotel. not that she's not feeling it or anything, but i guess it's going to hit us both when it's time to sleep, and we can't really occupy ourselves or anything.

i know i'll probably vc with her on discord and stuff, and others too maybe. but idk. part of me wants to use this time to just get as much done as i can on the record, within reason. not singing late or anything but it gives me some more room to get stuff out.

regarding music, i recorded some stuff today on that one song that was giving me trouble, i've at least got an idea for delivery down, i might need to retry, with some more, idk, something, on the vocals, a different tone i guess, but the rhythm is there i think.

i also have been mixing another song, and the vocals i have for that, the tiny pieces at least, sound good, so there's at least one really solid vocal layer and then some stuff i just need to accentuate/layer on top of that. it's kind of a pain getting the guitar synth stuff right, not tonally, but mix-wise, i'm trying something now where i mess w/ stereo image stuff to get things to move in a way, out of stereo and into mono, that type of thing.

and one more export, and this should be good... i know i said i wanted to get 2 songs done today, i guess i kinda did, the other song i worked on is also sounding better broadly, mix-wise, since i messed around w/ that.

alright so... if that one's like done, with getting to sound right, that means there's 14 songs left, and the ones that are after the next 2 are all just going to be updated to this new saturator process, which will be be easy and i can do it transparently kinda i think. or i hope. i can make the saturation less extreme with these ones if need be, and if it frees up space in the mix, then that'll be super good + awesome and i can maybe squeeze more detail out of the songs or whatever. those i could maybe even do in like... i don't wanna promise it to myself or whatever, but 2 days? we'll see. those 12 should not be as much of a headache as some of these other ones.

i also read foucault today, as things were exporting earlier, very good as usual. one part struck me, about how the need to punish + torture, or torture being a punishment, as well as capital punishment, death + loss of limb and so on, was that it was not just to keep people in line via consequence, but also, as foucault puts it, to 'use terrorizing tactics' to take revenge against being outside the law, or the will of the sovereign. when you see this, where tactics of punishment and pain become not about consequence, where the relation is less simple, and more about asserting power and dominance once again, to express who creates rules and who directs them, things like that, even now, you will see the vestiges of this process. again, not a new thing to me i guess, but he articulates it well, it makes me think of how i've seen co-workers get yelled at by management at work.

a very minor thing in comparison to historical facts of murder by the sovereigns of europe, but it still seems connected, in odd ways. petty tyrants reigning over us, i guess, in management, everyone vested with these moral gauges and the compulsion to keep everything right, i suppose this is part of the soul he may begin describing, where we all become responsible for our own efficiency, and thus when others fail, it is something of a humiliation to be implicated in their either inability, their ignorance of power, or whatever else.

this i suppose, is why everyone makes jokes at foucault's expense, that everything is a prison. which is true but also a reduction. it's not really that everything is a prison, that's just a useful way to put it i guess to explain, but really it's that the prison is historically a way to organize, and all of us put in this rubric of not just penality, but the improvement of ourselves, and so on, in school, in psychiatry, at work, our time put to bettering something, that something vague, by necessity, the prison outlines not just institutions, but the world the institutions would like to produce, i suppose. and so with that, comes the thought that everything is a prison. it is perhaps something else more complex and strange, that depends one me and where the book takes me, it is where i lean, it is elucidated in other works certainly, the odd world we live in now. where there are huge suggestions of like, caring about others, lip service to 'mental health' and other things that one would imagine are positive, even ideas like fairness, kindness, all requiring a fact that you have to deign to give these things, people receive from you in those cases, a condescending in ways we are taught to be positive and show concern, in a world like this, everything is trying to be as friendly as possible. this is why the police destroy homeless camps where people are surviving, and are truly kind to one another by building fires to cook over, collecting resources, because this is unpleasant to see. i guess an ultimate wound to everyone in this area, it's twofold, to know that this is what awaits you should you fail, that at this economic class should the bottom give out, there is no longer anything to catch you accept people who are abused, frightened, and starving, and they will catch you, and then 2, you will work hard, for so little, because the world is so violently exclusive, in such bright colors.

and now i need to sleep, the song is sounding good now, i think, which makes me happy.

it feels ugly to say that after what i had just written, but it's all i can think to do really.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ravysu]

Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.

[korgidorgi]

The Avengers reactions to You getting into a fight at school

Warnings: cursing

Reader wrote to be female (pronouns are only used like once so i mean, anyone can read it ig). (Thinking I'm writing an actual fic out of this)

(idk what/where this gif is from)

(Also I don't own any of the Gifs used)

You got into a fight because some girl was being a bitch to someone you like 😏 (it can be whoever you want, irl crush, Peter, MJ, etc. your life, not mine)

You don't normally pick fights with people so this is like, a big thing for you

The bitch hit you first

You dodged her second attack

and broke her nose

You ended the fight

You ditch school and come back to the tower

Peter told Tony

Tony told everyone else

Peter saw everything go down

Fucking snitch

Don't worry, your crush helped you clean up after :) (you were bleeding a bit)

Tony:

Not too happy about hearing about it

He was passive-agressive to you when you got back to the tower, made you ✨uncomfy✨(He's scary when he's upset ok? He also lowkey has an army of robots)

He finally asks you about what happened and you tell him

Teases you about doing it to get Peter's attention (whether that's true or not, you deny it)

He's very much like a dad about the whole situation

Steve:

When he asks you about what happens, you start cursing

Comes at you about cursing

"Language."

"Sorry, BuT sTiLl!"

Crosses his arms at you, trying to be angry with you

Is secretly proud of you for standing up for someone because, he too, is a goody two-shoes and probably would have done something similar

Picks up that it may have been your crush who compelled you to do it but doesn't bring that up

Bruce:

Indirect about approaching you about it

When he does bring it up, he's a lot more calm than Tony, but gives you a mini lecture

"If that had been me approaching that situation, I never would have because the Big Guy would have probably killed them and we don't want that."

Makes sure you're ok tho

Natasha:

You can't tell if she's disappointed, proud, angry, what

She simply asks what happened, casually springing the topic on you right as your taking a sip of your favorite drink (you choke on it)

At first, she just listens intensely which scares you a bit, but is secretly proud of you that you stopped a fight with one hit (strong bby :3)

She gets you to tell her why you started bickering in the first place and you just come out and tell her about your crush

She encourages you to ask this certain someone out ;)

Clint:

Stalks you from the vents for a little bit before dropping down to interrogate you

Damn near break his nose

At first he scolds you for fighting, but loosens up

"If you were one of my kids-"

He's said too much

You weren't supposed to know he has a whole ass secret family (let's just pretend okay?)

Oh well, cat's out of the bag now

He tells you to not tell anyone what he said

Crawls back into the vent and disappears

Thor:

Isn't the best judge of scenarios like this because things are so much different on Asgard

Praises you for doing the right thing

The two of you talk about fights you've been in and the worst injuries the two of you have sustained (Thor wins that obviously)

You excitedly tell him how it felt getting hit for someone and he fangirls with you as well

He offers you alcohol (despite you being a bit young) (Do you take it?)

Tony yells from the other room

"Don't encourage her, Thor!"

Bucky:

Doesn't really approach you about it, he doesn't really talk with you much tbh (he doesn't really talk with anyone other than Steve, or younger people) (Look, idc if the timeline's screwed up)

Kinda proud you took a punch for someone tho

Gives you a thumbs-up when you pass him after talking with Steve about it

Sam:

Much like Steve, he's a bit stern with you, crossing his arms

Tells you to not do stupid shit like that (without him)

He only loosens up when you tell him that this certain someone has unconsentually stolen your heart

Won't stop teasing you about your crush but doesn't spread it to the other Avengers

Rhodey:

"You fucking what!?"

High-fives you when you tell him the story

Also encourages you about the ordeal like Thor

He's a bad influence on you

"You shouldda just gone in, hit her, and been like 'Boom, you looking for this?'"

Everyone in earshot just freezes and just blankly stares at him

"Not funny, okay. Bad joke."

Tony looks at him, daring him to encourage this behavior

Wanda:

She doesn't confront you about it, more like you race up to her and giddily tell her about it

Asks if you're okay (which you confirm)

Lowkey wants to see what it looked like

"If you want you can look in my head if you wanna see it it was sO aWeSoMe!"

Refuses your offer but looks anyways because she's curious

Nearly freaks out at your memory when you get hit

Very satisfied when you hit the bitch back though

Sees your crush that way, she'll talk with you about your crush when you bring it up later, she doesn't want to ruin your excitement

(I'm considering her a possible crush insert too now so maybe she already saw it and is like, still horrified you'd do that for her bc she doesn't think shes really worth getting sucker punched for so let's do this:)

(She's concerned that you're excited about taking a hit for her but thinks its sweet)

Peter:

He fucking SAW IT HAPPEN! (Ned saw it too)

He freaked out and helped you clean up outside before you buggered off to clean up elsewhere (with the help of your crush, unless it was him, then he leads you somewhere to help clean you up better)

Doesn't know whether to be horrified or impressed

When he tells Tony, he's screaming about what happened and is really blown away by the incident

Really worried about you afterward

Regretted telling Tony because he thought you'd kill him for it (I mean, you might ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ )

Won't shut up about it for the next 3 weeks

Vision:

He really only brought up that you looked different

Asked if you got hurt somehow because of the bruise and cut on your face

You tell him what happened

Doesn't really understand why you of all people would get into a fight

Warns against the (obvious) results of taking physical damage

Isn't much of a supporter or disciplinary figure on this whole ordeal, very neutral

[addictedtostorytelling]

Not really a question, just like picking your brain. In my mind, I see Grissom as being "all in" when he finally makes his move. I see him committing to Sara 100%. I see Sara, while thrilled that this is finally happening, as the one who is hesitant, like she's waiting for the other shoe to drop. I always read the bedroom scene in "Bite Me" as Grissom throwing a little shade toward Sara because she's the one who maybe pulls back, afraid of getting her heart broken again.

hi, @lkb23!

i guess i have a different take.

i don’t really see sara as behaving hesitantly in her and grissom’s relationship, even early on.

while i do certainly think she has fears that perhaps he's not as "in" as she is (and those fears linger all the way up through s7)—she knows he loves her, but she intermittently worries, based on his sometimes aloof behavior, that maybe his love is not "at the same place" hers is; she was ready to marry him from day #1, but sometimes she gets the idea, particularly when he makes big decisions that can affect their shared life together without considering or consulting her, that he doesn't really view her as a life partner in the same way that she does him—i think her approach to those fears is to try to savor and enjoy everything as much as she can, adopting a "i have to make the most of this relationship for as long as the relationship lasts" attitude, as opposed to hesitating or standing back.

of course, she is terrified that she'll potentially get hurt, handing her heart over to someone who may not be as committed to the idea of a future together as she is, but, tbh, she's never been able to stop herself from wanting the things she really wants—and she wants a life with him, even if that life is only temporary.

that's why, even against her better judgment and years and years of instinct telling her never to confide in anyone, she finally does open up and tell grissom her life story, making herself vulnerable to him, even though doing so terrifies her. that's why, despite her long, bad history in the romance department, she eventually gets into a relationship with him, letting him sweep her off her feet like no one has ever done before. that's why she's willing to move in with him in relatively short order. that's why she abides his sabbatical, even though it patently scares the hell out her. that's why when he finally does ask her to marry him, she's so quick and eager to say yes. that's why, throughout the duration of their relationship, she always, always waits and hopes for him.

for as pessimistic (or at least "realistic") as sara sometimes is, baby girl is very much a romantic at heart, and especially where grissom is concerned.

that so, while i can imagine her struggling not to be the first one to blurt out "i love you" (for fear of freaking grissom out) or trying to present herself as cool with anything early on in their relationship (e.g., "so you're too busy to hang out this weekend? that's fine. no, uh, really. i've got stuff to do myself. we'll just see each other later. no worries" *goes home and immediately worries that he's pulling away*), what i can't imagine is her denying herself of things that grissom offers.

i think she is eager for every milestone they hit.

the first time he stays over (as opposed to going home after they've slept together), she lies there in his arms, trying to memorize what it feels like to be held that way, hoping there are many more days like this one to come but preparing in case it's a one-off deal so that at least she'll be able to remember.

ditto when grissom first implies that maybe she's his girlfriend; it's not like she goes, "whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy, let's pump the brakes on those labels until we have more of a grasp on what this relationship is!"—just the opposite, in fact; she smiles like an idiot and then spends the next week, whenever she's by herself, whispering, "gil grissom is my boyfriend," adoring the way the words feel to say (even if some part of her dreads the possibility that maybe someday he'll choose not to be anymore).

she's the kind to lean into every kiss, to celebrate every anniversary no matter how small, to continually yearn for more even though she's scared to death that someday sooner rather than later the jig will be up, to keep hoping that if she's just able to keep things going for long enough that maybe eventually he'll reach the place where she is and be ready to make a lifetime commitment to her, too.

whereas with all of her other boyfriends before grissom, she did absolutely hold back, with him, she can't help herself but be "all in."

i mean, after all, during the early seasons of the show, she is the one who pushes for them to get together, consequences be damned, so i see no reason why that behavior from her wouldn't continue once they were actually together; her answer is always going to be to want to keep going forward until the wheels come off (to the point where, in the later seasons, she stubbornly sticks in her and grissom's marriage, even though she's at the time miserable, never initiating any kind of dissolution herself, and only eventually consents to the break-up because she believes that it's what he wants).

so all of the above said, i don't think that grissom would have any grounds to throw shade at sara for being the reticent one in their relationship—because, to my mind, she's not that at all.

he's seen no evidence that she's anything less than all in.

that so, i don't think that's the issue they're fighting about in episode 06x03 "bite me".

and in fact—*insert dramatic "dun, dun, dun!" here*—i don't think they're actually fighting in episode 06x03 "bite me" at all, contrary to what things may on a surface level seem.

i've got a full rundown of my take on the bedroom scene here, if you care to read it, but suffice it to say: to me, those kids look way too happy and comfortable talking to each other to actually be having any kind of fight, and particularly one where they'd be flinging around accusations of "suffocation" and emotional withdrawal.

had sara had any sense that grissom was criticizing her or their relationship, there's no way she'd stay so calm and measured.

if it were something that was "coming out of nowhere" from him (i.e., they hadn't talked about the issue before, and he was just bringing it up for the first time), she'd be confused and might ask him if they were okay.

if they had discussed the matter previously—and especially if they were dragging a fight already in progress from home into their work hours—she'd be more obviously hurt and offended; she might get visibly moody after the exchange or try to defend herself during it.

the fact that she doesn't react in those ways at all—and instead ends the interaction by smiling at grissom—suggests to me that she reads no personal notes into it either way; she knows they're talking about the case, not their romance.

that's why she's so cool.

anyway.

that's my read on the situation.

thanks for the "not really a question" message! please feel welcome to send another any time.

[eggfruit]

The Geek thoughts for my possible (tho tbh it's def gonna happen but we're not gonna say that til it's done forever from now and fully out on the internet so as not to jinx anything) Sam and Max fan comic! I'm gonna write some stuff about her under the cut so I can get it out of my brain and onto a place I can refer back to. Most of this is specific to my possible comic but it seems like some people like my spin on the character, so I hope y'all enjoy ;0

Darla "The Geek" Gugenheek

Age: 12/ Sex: Female/ Gender: I hardly know 'er! (she/her at this age, not personally developed enough to put thought into it at this point in her life, though knows that while "girl" fits okay, like a pair of old shoes, there's something else out there that actually fits. like new shoes!)

Basic personality overview:

Generally down for anything, intelligent, immature (duh, she's a kid) but thinks of herself as extremely mature, independent, stubborn, with under-developed empathy and a "survival of the fittest" mindset about herself and life. Has an issue with "weak" emotions and goes out of her way to avoid situations, people, and concepts that make her feel like a weaker person. Has a tendency for manipulation but in the vast majority of circumstances, uses it in harmless ways such as pranks or to get her bedtime moved back. This trait is significantly reduced the longer she's with Sam and Max and it eventually becomes something only used for work (interrogation, criminal negotiation, etc). Two steps away from being a mad scientist, four from being an evil mad scientist, six from being a full-blown supervillain. However, her default instincts tend to be within the range of good and at the very core of her being, the Geek wants to help people and make the world a better place. Under the care of Sam and Max, her worst possible realities never see the light of day as they keep her grounded, associated with humility, and on the path of chaotic good rather than just chaotic... chaos.

Facts I made up:

-Sees Max as more of a friend than an authority figure. Often confides very personal things in him but because of his friend status in her mind, she doesn't respect him as the adult he is. Sometimes they butt heads because of this

-Deeply admires Sam in a way she won't admit; especially to herself, let alone anyone else

-Has a "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Do it, I'll help you." relationship with Max

-Intentionally tries to push his buttons and test how far she can go with Sam outside of work, but in the field, follows his word to the letter and is very eager to please and impress. Vehemently denies this outside of work

-Loves hamsters

-Afraid of heights

-Eventually thinks of Sam and Max as parents but it takes a Lot of trust, time, and healing. Before said growth, refers to them as her bosses/co-workers, etc, when questioned by other people and thinks of their relationship as purely professional (an example being that her justification for Sam and Max being her legal guardians is so that they can avoid child labor laws)

-Orphaned too young to remember her biological parents. She believes that they gave her up for dark reasons and secretly speculates on the decision to give her up with a vast number of conspiracy theories; however, if asked about them, she'll claim she never thinks of her biological parents and doesn't care they ever existed

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Savannah

Jac: Are you warm enough? Jac: 🧣🤗🧤🤗🧥 Savannah: No but that's a total secret, okay? I can't cope with the others judging me for trying to look nice Jac: I'll never tell Jac: [subtly getting her a blanket or something though, obviously] Jac: no one can come for your look 😍 Savannah: [you know we're snuggling under this blanket together because shameless excuse to be close af] Savannah: oh I see, you're trying to warm me up by making me 😳 it's fine that can be our secret too Jac: [would be so 😳 forreal] Jac: you can blame the 🔥 Savannah: [putting her head on the bae's shoulder like we're not already close enough and doing a little happy sigh] Savannah: but your compliments deserve full credit, anything else would be unfair Jac: [patting her head under the guise of checking out the boujee hat] Jac: your outfit arguably deserves a higher class of event but I'm still glad you're here Savannah: [doing a hat swap because we do so love sharing clothes with the bae and it's amusing as well as a shameless excuse to check her out like hmm what do we think] Savannah: I'm glad I'm here too Jac: It would be weird if you weren't Jac: I'm as close to you as my siblings now Jac: in a different way, obviously but still Savannah: [swapping the hats back because the bae is serving a look and also then we have to fix her hair and make that a moment™ soz Amelia for this blatant flirting you are witnessing rn] Savannah: I feel so at home here, with you Jac: [when you think the bae is perfect so you can't even pretend to sort her hair, so you end up fussing with your own after her like ugh it's so unruly but we're 🥰 and seriously soz have a more or something] Jac: You are Jac: you're always welcome, even when we're celebrating weird non-holiday holidays Savannah: [just giving her all the compliments out loud because we see that fussy and also we don't care who hears us, again soz Amelia and snuggling again] Savannah: I'd make you the same offer in a heartbeat if I felt welcome at my house Jac: [snuggling her extra hard for a hot sec there] Jac: I know, baby Savannah: [likewise and just burying our face in the bae's shoulder fully because emotions and doing a little sad sigh this time] Jac: [doing something to make her happy, probably posting the picture of her for example] Savannah: [giving her all the compliments again because that is a good picture tbh gal you clearly have skills but then because I'm evil I'm gonna say your bf sees it and so you're texting him forever while he's with his friends doing whatever] Jac: [at least you have an excuse to get up, like your other guests lol] Savannah: [just gotta do something extra as she's getting up like take her hand and make her do a little spin or something cos you're a nerd and we know you care more about this than whatever your bf is saying] Jac: don't faint Savannah: catch me & it won't be an issue Jac: I don't need to tell you it's dangerous to play near or with 🔥 Savannah: [as close to a LOOK as we can get away with] Jac: 😈 Savannah: he wants to see me, like, right now Savannah: but I don't think he's offering a higher class of event Jac: 😏 and obviously, you have to make him sweat it out a bit Jac: right? Savannah: all night at least Jac: Poor Ty Savannah: Do you think I'm being too 😈? Jac: not enough, if anything Savannah: oh really, well I hate that Jac: I'm sure it'll do the job on Ty Jac: but I think you could do better Savannah: of course I could, especially if the alternative means disappointing you Savannah: I don't ever want to Jac: It's very unlikely that you could Savannah: It's impossible, I promise Jac: Don't worry, it wasn't a challenge Savannah: I'm not worried if it is, I'll rise to it for you Jac: 🌠🌠🌠 Jac: I am going to have to challenge my brother not to be that basic white boy who brings out an acoustic 'round the campfire, excuse me 🙄😅 Savannah: 😄 Savannah: as long as Isabelle doesn't decide to sing along, because it'll be a challenge for me to sit through that Jac: 😬 Jac: she ALWAYS gets the words wrong! Jac: I think she might be partially deaf Savannah: you would know Savannah: it's a shame she's HOPELESS at sign language Jac: honestly, she'd need to do some brain training first Jac: bless her Savannah: I'm still waiting for you to teach me, maybe I'll be worse than she is Jac: [gutted you can't say gay things 'cos most people here can understand but you can still come teach her] Savannah: [Amelia do be watching you and she definitely can] Savannah: [Jude would also just be chiming in telling Savannah what she's doing wrong like a blunt bitch so now we're mortified because we have to be good at everything] Jac: [just showing her how to tell Jude to fuck off or something like excuse you] Savannah: [literally never swears because she's that kind of trying to be classy so you've been spared gal but we're not forgetting that you made us look a fool] Jac: She literally couldn't tie her own shoes 'til like last year Jac: I wouldn't spend any energy on her Savannah: it's fine, I'd rather know my mistakes Jac: She knows it's as rude to listen in on a sign conversation as it is a normal one Jac: honestly, I don't know where her manners have gone half the time Savannah: I'll have to get better now so we can have a conversation worth listening in on Jac: I'll show you properly Jac: when we have some privacy Savannah: you can come home with me, we'll have plenty of privacy if we leave here late enough Jac: You're really gonna make him wait then Jac: 😘 Savannah: he'll be too drunk to be any use to me once his friends are done with him Savannah: & anyway, I want to be with you Jac: Good Jac: of course I'll come Savannah: I feel like I haven't even seen you since Ty & I reconciled, I've really missed you Jac: he had a lot he had to make up for Jac: so I've missed you more Savannah: [touching that necklace he gave us without realising we're doing it as we recall that horrible argument] Savannah: I'm all yours now Jac: Good Jac: because we're both going to need really long 🛀 to get the smoke smell out of our hair Savannah: ugh true! I'll wash yours if you wash mine Jac: 100% Jac: and would you ever trust a boy with your hair, no matter how sorry he is Savannah: No way! Savannah: plus he's too tall to fit in the 🛁 with me, even the huge one at my house Savannah: he'd just sulk the entire time Savannah: I'm so sorry I'm taller than the other girl you dated Jac: the basketball boys always go out with tiny girls Jac: it's like their thing Jac: so weird Savannah: right? 🙄 Savannah: it's a totally possessive thing, I'm glad you can't stand over me to feel powerful, excuse me Jac: honestly Jac: people always talk about short guy's complexes but tall lads think they're so superior just for having a few inches, okay we get what you're trying to put out and it ain't cute Savannah: exactly Savannah: & if picking me up & throwing me around is SUCH a turn on for you, work at it 💪🏾 I have to put in effort to look good too Jac: Not about it Savannah: Ty isn't either, he's the gentlest boy in the world Jac: Yeah he is Savannah: maybe too gentle sometimes, but I didn't say so Jac: I get it Jac: you don't have to think he's perfect just because you're going out with him Savannah: he definitely doesn't think I am Jac: he's got no complaints though Savannah: for now, I suppose Jac: he told me, you saw Jac: he thinks you're good, if not perfect Savannah: he doesn't want to lose me Jac: he's not stupid Savannah: ^^ he'll say anything, that's what boys do Jac: yeah Jac: how much they mean is a different story Savannah: my dad's never meant a single word he's said to us Jac: even if he meant it at the time Jac: he didn't stick to his word, and that's what counts Savannah: yes, it is Jac: Ty's dependable Savannah: I'm not though, I'm a wreck Jac: hey Jac: [looks at her and shakes her head like no] Jac: do you want to go inside for a bit? we can be getting more food and drinks or whatever Savannah: okay Jac: [casually run off hand in hand so you can go properly talk about this] Savannah: [soz not soz everyone] Jac: [also said your garden would not be that big so probably gonna need to go upstairs or down so everyone's not just 👀 lol] Savannah: [get in the basement for that parallel] Jac: [sounds creepy but yes lol, go forth for that privacy hens] Savannah: [yet again we're just telling the bae stuff that we haven't told anyone including our bf #bonding] Jac: [we know the fucking vibes, y'all gonna be ages and do not care remotely] Savannah: [gotta fix Savannah's makeup for her to because she'll have done a little cry so that's gay & intimate] Jac: [honestly how this kiss doesn't happen sooner hun] Savannah: [that's the scolding hot tea] Jac: [casual patience of a saint somehow] Savannah: [we both know you're scared to cross that line hens] Jac: [mhmm how you just don't though when the tension is this high and obvious but you know, sort yourselves out] Savannah: [for now though go back outside to find Amelia has left] Jac: how rude Savannah: Do you have any messages from her? Jac: she told them she was feeling sick Jac: but she's not said anything more than that in a message either Savannah: one of her migraines? Jac: probably Jac: smoke can be a trigger, I guess Jac: oh well, I'll message her in the group chat, make sure she's okay Savannah: I hope she got home okay Savannah: it was a bit rude of Is not to go with her & make sure Jac: ^^ I'm like, girl Jac: you've had THREE hot dogs Jac: you could've done without the last one to be a better friend but priorities, I suppose Savannah: ^^ she could've at least come & got us so we could do the right thing if she wasn't going to Jac: Seriously Jac: now I look lowkey bad like thanks 🙄 Savannah: No, it's my fault Savannah: I feel bad, poor Amelia Jac: Oh my God, no, it's so not your fault Savannah: it's okay, I know I'm beyond demanding Jac: You aren't Jac: She just has a headache Jac: you're actually going through it right now Jac: you deserve time to vent Savannah: 😔 Savannah: but I do understand if you're upset with me Jac: I'm not, at all Jac: just at Is a bit for not handling the whole situation properly Savannah: Would you like me to talk to her? Jac: That's fine, we don't need to get into their drama Jac: it's like, not a situation and not going to be one because Is either wants it to be or is literally too ditzy to check in on Amelia herself without being explicitly told Savannah: You're right Savannah: you deserve a good night even if it is a fake holiday Jac: I'm having a good night with you Savannah: Oh please, I can do better Savannah: I've been crying for most of it Savannah: [proves it by doing the most, throwing ourselves into all the activities and thus the bae as well] Savannah: [I like to imagine poor Isabelle trying to get involved & we're just subtly not having it] Jac: [montage time, honestly Is you would've been better to leave too, at least the fam is here so you aren't being totally ignored lol] Savannah: [soz that we're just falling in love here] Jac: [literally can't help it sorry they don't mean the harm they casually do] Savannah: now you're having a good night Jac: an even better one, yeah Savannah: I'll be your 🌠 Savannah: anything you want, all you have to do is whisper it to me & I'll make sure it comes true Jac: Tinkerbell's got nothing on you Savannah: your happiness is so important to me, with or without the 👏🏾 Jac: you know I'd do anything for you too Jac: I feel like I should do more Jac: be better Savannah: you do more for me than anyone else EVER has, if you did more you'd be putting your own mental health & wellbeing at risk for the sake of mine Savannah: I'm not trying to be a drain of you like Is, who literally needs her hand held through every little thing Jac: I know, you're just so good to me Jac: but you're good FOR me too Savannah: I'm not always this selfish, I swear Jac: you're literally the most selfless Jac: all you do is look after Sienna and you're the best friend to me and girlfriend to Ty Jac: it hurts my heart sometimes Jac: I just wanna take care of you and make your life so easy you can thrive and shine Savannah: You're going to make me cry again Savannah: [IRL 🥺 because the bae is so pure & genuinely takes such good care of us] Savannah: I'll survive this & you'll see what I'm actually like without all this drama surrounding me Savannah: I really will be the best friend to you forever Jac: [we're such emotional bitches atm and always tbh hennys] Jac: I know you will, you're already amazing Jac: you're going to be unstoppable Jac: and I'm gonna be right there with you Savannah: [it's the only emotion we can safely express rn because smooching is forbidden] Savannah: I'm totally fine with doing trust falls Savannah: you know I believe in you & our future together Jac: 🌍 sister connection Jac: [because we are all earth signs except Amelia soz gal] Savannah: ^^ yes! Savannah: [take your bae to dance because it's a party and that's the only excuse we need] Jac: [bye at how much of a moment that'd be] Savannah: [literally there's every chance it's the first time they have because her bf would always be there at parties and stuff so I'm deceased] Jac: [we know you'd have no qualms stealing her away but a party with loads of peers is different from how intimate this is, at best everyone has a few friends] Savannah: [exactly that, so glad you don't have to see this Amelia you really would have a headache] Jac: [yeah this would be 💔] Savannah: [thank god we've got Isabelle cockblocking rn because y'all are too in love tbh] Jac: [just joins in 'cos not in love with you and thus oblivious] Savannah: [they'd be so annoyed lol] Jac: [lmao oh isabelle] Savannah: [go get some drinks or something gals and whisper shade to each other about this poor third wheel because any excuse to keep that intimacy going] Jac: [it's a good thing you are lowkey oblivious or you'd be way more upset by it all too] Savannah: [god bless you Isabelle, so soz you get done so dirty] Jac: [in the end you live your best life, just not being friends with this squad lol] Savannah: [the best thing for you is getting new friends my love, but for now I like to imagine she's talking to them about some boy or other, remember those you massive gays] Jac: 😬 him Jac: seriously?!? Savannah: What is she thinking of? & more importantly, what part of her body is leading her in those thoughts Jac: 😷 I can't Jac: so many cold showers necessary for her and honestly just some 🧼 for him Savannah: He asked me out, knowing full well I'm not single or interested, it was horrific Jac: the definition of no shame Savannah: I didn't know what to do Jac: I bet you didn't Jac: the actual nerve Savannah: Not to sound like Amelia, but I genuinely have no understanding of what she approves of or thinks we'll approve of about most of the boys she talks about Jac: Availability? Jac: like, imagine that was all a boy had to say about you Savannah: that's so sad Jac: like if they weren't so gross themselves, I'd feel sorry for them Savannah: I've just decided, I'm going to find her a boyfriend we can all stand to be around, Ty'll know someone Savannah: it'll give you a much needed break from how clingy she is & my heart won't hurt anymore from hearing her talk like this about boys who aren't worthy Jac: Such a nice idea 👼🏾 Jac: does he know anyone that will deal with her though Jac: she's a lot Savannah: It may not be an overnight success but I'll work my 🔮✨ Jac: I believe in nothing harder than I believe in your magic Savannah: I'm your girl too, just like you told Ty, of course you have faith in me & because you do, I feel so capable of anything 🥰 Jac: It had to be said Jac: like we said, the possessive thing, not it Jac: you're you and you're so many things to so many people, and you're especially important to me Jac: if he wants you, he's gotta accept that Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: I love you & you're always going to be part of my life, I hope he is too, obviously but there's none of that uncertainty with you, you are & you will be Jac: Right, romantic relationships are arguably almost always the least secure, that's just realistic Jac: ask any girl who ditches ALL her friends and then gets dumped Savannah: oh god, I could NEVER Savannah: I need you Jac: The concession they must make in their lives, like, who do you talk to about the stuff he has no interest in, who gives you advice from a woman's perspective??? Jac: so toxic Savannah: He & I have very different styles of self care, I'm sorry I simply would not survive Jac: 🏋️ is part of the daily grind, NOT a way to unwind, sorry Ty Savannah: 😄 Savannah: Don't worry, I promise I won't wake you as early tomorrow for our workout Jac: I'm not, I nearly ALWAYS wake up before you Jac: but that's okay, you look adorable and very peaceful 😴😘 Savannah: well it takes me longer to fall asleep Savannah: you look even more adorable & peaceful then 👼🏻☁ Jac: okay, so we're even 😅 Savannah: the universe is keeping everything in balance for us Savannah: I love that Jac: I know, right? Jac: if we had a 👶🏾 or a job share we'd be KILLING it Savannah: 🥺 you're going to have the cutest babies ever! Jac: 🤞 the dad's DNA doesn't screw that up Savannah: No way, we'll find you someone perfect Jac: I have more hope for Uni Savannah: you don't trust my matchmaking skills? Jac: No, no Jac: just the boys you have to choose from here 😬😂 Savannah: 😄You're right, an LDR makes much more sense for you & I wouldn't have to share you as often Savannah: I'll find you a first year uni boy who goes to school with Ty's brother Jac: You think so? Savannah: definitely, he'll fit into your schedule without wanting to become your schedule Savannah: & you may actually be able to have & sustain a proper conversation, depending what he studies Jac: you really do have the best ideas Jac: Obviously down Savannah: [immediately starts sending her pics and profiles because we're extra] Savannah: Let me know who you like & I'll totally make it happen Jac: I'll look properly tonight at yours Jac: [like no, Isabelle, you may not have more than a peep so you're #curious] Savannah: there's no rush, whenever you're ready Jac: 😍😍 Savannah: [snuggling again with our IRL 😍 because we're in love bitch] Savannah: [Savannah is just that touchy feely hoe like soz gal she's gonna just be touching you ALL THE TIME] Jac: [at least you'd have to vaguely get used to it or literally die haha, we know the 😍 are and will be for you but we'll pretend to be into these lads so we can scheme it together] Savannah: [we've since the pics you had a touchy feely vibe with Amelia too, even if it was more like hugs and piggy backs lol you can do this] Jac: [mhmm, arguably you can't but you carry it on for a long time lol]

[laststandx3]

Anon asked: "Ethan is very oblivious. Kat can not be anymore obvious that she doesnt want to be with him, yet he's still clinging onto her like a loss puppy. Oblivious, personified. Kat and Ethan's relationship is so disconnected and empty that there really isn't grounds to speculate kat would tell him anything beyond what is necessary to keep things afloat. Ethan doesn't care about the drama, he cares about the play. Lexi's never been problematic so he has no reason to believe she'll start now"

Ok so, I see your point 100%, thing is ethan has a crush on kat, and when you have a crush on someone you tend to be quite blind to your crush ambiguous signals. I've personally been both on kat and ethan shoes. On one side ignoring all my crush signs they didn't want to be with me and on the other ignoring this guy waiting for him to get a hint. And boy he didn't get a hint!! till I explicitly told him i wasn't interested anymore. Crushes are like that both in real life and euphoria. Cassie believes nate is allover her even if he's officially with maddy. And from an oitsider pov she's fooling herself. But for her she and nate have this deep profound secret relationship while in truth they fucked idk 3 times maybe and never talked about anything that wasn't maddy and/or guilt.

But anyway back to the point, ethan and kat. You'd think that since kat has no feelings for ethan and is ignoring him most of the times they don't talk, while it can be a thing, it's impossible for them to call what they have a relationship and not talking for days. So i imagine they talk about some neutral topics. Because again, kat doesn't have feelings for him, but she believes the relationship was supposed to work, she can't pinpoint what's wrong with it so she blames herself and thinks something lacks from her side. Now if she thinks she's the problem she will at least try to push through her discomfort to make things work. What I'm trying to say is that she will tell him stuff about her life even if she doesn't really feel a connection with him. Now you can bet she would never tell ethan she's been a dominatrix for a semester so what's left to talk about is school and friends, and personally I think that is a fairly neutral topic "maddy and nate are together again" or "cassie is acting super weird lately" it's not spilling tea or spreading gossip, is just what kat sees and tbh what the whole school sees, these drama queens aren't keeping things for themselves.

Now on a storytelling side, i don't think that the writers took into consideration the whole ethan knows/doesn't know. And if it's even a minor plot point i don't think the story has enough time to focus on him for more than 5 minutes. It would be funny tho, finding out that even if he acts kind he's an agent of chaos and just wants to watch the world burn.

Ok but ethan read lexi's play. He knows all the drama, he could say something about it to kat or maybe mediate a peace with cassie and lexi/maddy etc... But no he's just waiting for the grand reveal to spill the tea

[punkscowardschampions]

Lola & Astrid

Lola: [come in to get your tattoo then, which is on the back of her neck/shoulder blade moment which isn't the worst but I think it vibrates on those bones pretty hard, also the embroidery technique/colour will make it worse/more time, overall vibe a sassy, confident bitch but lowkey nervous on this tattoo] Astrid: [I like to think she's already in there and probably has been for hours because whether it's big or small on this occasion they obvs let her stop whenever she wants and for as long as she wants cos they know her so we just chilling with the dog BFF who goes everywhere with her lowkey and both having a drink of water casually so the dog can go up to her like hey gal] Lola: [have loads of pictures of her with dogs and cats, so gonna say we're an animal hoe and gonna be extra over this lil dog then AFTER you've stroked and loved upon it 'Shit, I've not distracted it, have I? I'm so sorry' like when you aren't meant to with blind people service dogs] Astrid: [just straight up talking to this dog like she's a person like are you okay, do you wanna go and the dog's like nah I'm fine by giving a Lola a toy or something like I think we should play with this gal] Lola: [straight up throwing this toy like we aren't in a tattoo shop like please be careful, probably getting told off by a grumpy tattoo dude and just loling like whoops 'cos the kind of carefree hoe we are 'what's your name?' but we are talking to the dog] Astrid: [being like 'did you forget we like rules?' @ the dog as if she caused this trouble herself and full naming her like a cross mum but we not cross we're more playful about it because autistic bants] Lola: ['so distinguished, suits you madam' and shakes her paw, then touching one of Astrid's leg tattoos as is clearly ground level with this dog rn 'that's gorgeous, how many do you have?'] Astrid: [when you an affectionate af person but you don't know her like that so then you can't answer that question and she must think you're being so rude sorry gal, but let's say the tattoo person answers for you cos probably did most of them but not all so gets it wrong so then you have to answer whatever the right number is] Lola: [you really shouldn't grab people but that's the kinda hoe you are so that's the vibe lol, undeterred but do let go of her leg thanks, just talking about ALL the tattoo ideas you have] Astrid: [at least you can likewise go off about that babe because they are literally another thing you collect/comforts you and makes you feel safe so like you always wanna get more, try not to actually talk over her and listen but it's okay if you do, she'll get over it] Lola: [just listening intently anyway and bowing to her superior knowledge on it 'cos you wanna get more even though you have yet to start this one and are gonna be sobbing in a sec lolll, very seriously turning to the dog 'Winnie, will you hold my hand?' then turning back to Astrid and rolling her eyes 'my girlfriend was too shamed to be seen with me'] Astrid: [just going OFF about aftercare too before she's even started this tattoo because as far as you're concerned there is only one right way to do it and everything else is wrong and a huge no, the grumpy tattoo dude from earlier who Lola's gonna end up having is just gonna try and be like nah she's wrong, this this and this is fine but shh sir tbh. The dog just grinning through all this cos she's buzzing about the energy 'She's not ever going to be heavy enough for proprioceptive stimming but it's still calming when she lies with you, she's soft and she smells nice, does that make sense?' her confused face when she then doesn't understand what she means about her girlfriend not wanting to be here though like um why] Lola: [just ignoring the man like the true lesbian you are, be careful girl, nodding 'total sense, Miss Winifred is a vibe' and giving her an approving sniff like yes 'it smells like bleach in here' probably a good thing babe but we're not happy lol 'ugh, 'cos she's so tough and I'm going to embarrass her' shakes her head like oh girlfriends] Astrid: [repeating back to Winnie that she's a vibe because you like the sound of that thank you but whatever you're gonna say about how it smells in here is interrupted by grumpy tattoo dude complaining that it's because Astrid always has to OTT clean up the station etc and blah before they start, like don't out her like that sir and don't be a dick so we're not happy about his vibe rn] Lola: ['you should be happy she's doing the hard work for you' even though we were the one complaining about the smell, we're not about it] Astrid: ['he's not a happy person' hahaha suck it sir] Lola: ['that's so sad, what happened?' oh gal] Astrid: [just telling her this dude's life story like he's not right there because we don't understand sarcasm bye] Lola: [when you weren't even being sarcastic but you were not expecting her to reply and you know he's not gonna be thrilled so you put your finger to your lips like shh but smiling at her so she knows you aren't being a dick like stfu] Astrid: [being like oh do you want some quiet, like offering to get them to turn down the music they always blast in tattoo places] Lola: ['can we change the station?' like this rock shit is not a #vibe honey and getting out your phone and aux cord from your bag] Astrid: [just like 'it's not a vibe [name of your tattoo gal] can we change it to a vibe?' because we're saying vibe now and obvs this woman will cos she's a good egg] Lola: [putting on your femme gay girl bubblegum pop playlist like every other person in here/grumpy tattoo man is going to be taking the piss but we aren't aware 'cos we're that bitch and just dancing around like it's the clerb] Astrid: [Astrid and Winnie are vibing, picking this dog up like do you wanna dance lil queen as if we're not in the middle of a tattoo sesh] Lola: [hyping them up in a very yasss queen manner and then getting interrupted by this dude being like are you done pissing about and just twerking at him like mwah 😘 as you climb your ass up onto this bench, then being like 'WINNIE, I NEED YOU' very dramatically with grabby hands and all, this man like oh my god] Astrid: [we're loling at her antics and then putting Winnie on her lap because this angel will look after you gal so we can finally get some more of our own tattoo done] Lola: [good incentive not to drop this dog or shriek in her ears gal, 'cos gonna be so OTT about this pain obvs, all of this painting a picture as why your butch tatted gf did not wanna be here, just 🥺🥺🥺 at Astrid 'does it hurt you?' 'cos gf popping off like it doesn't which is a lie like when people say childbirth doesn't like admit it even if you can hack it] Astrid: ['not as much as other things' because we matter of fact about it instead of being like her girlfriend and pretending nothing is happening here] Lola: [we aren't really listening anyway just talking to talk here 'beauty is pain'] Astrid: [just repeating that like hmmm idk ' you're saying you feel more beautiful now, they'll want to put that on the signs outside'] Lola: ['They've got better promo' and giving Astrid's tattooist a look, 'cos the insecurity jumped out when pain] Astrid: [just going off about how much you like it here and you've told everyone about it like lol peeps have said they should pay me] Lola: ['yours are so cool' and asking her why she got that one and when etc etc] Astrid: [telling her everything even if like some of this shit is personal like tell me those roses aren't because of Ro you can't] Lola: [when you're an oversharer so you are 1. not phased by this 2. can say how this is for your abuela who's dying] Astrid: [genuinely is upset about this and asking loads of questions about her like obvs how old is she but also about her as a person and what she likes and how she was living before this] Lola: [we was already crying from the pain so you know, just carry on lmao, telling her that you live with her, that she's your only family and she's a bomb cook and she loves you even though you're gay and you go to bingo together on Thursdays] Astrid: [when you're just like are you gonna live with your girlfriend and cook together and go to bingo with her] Lola: ['I don't know' big sigh 'Do you live with your dad?'] Astrid: [hardcore like BUT WHAT WILL YOU DO because we're so upset about this like we can't answer your question until we get one that's okay here] Lola: [reaching over like hey it's okay 'I'll work it out'] Astrid: [just like oh yeah I do live with my dad btw after ages has passed and she's probably forgot she even asked but we needed a sec there] Lola: ['what's he like?'] Astrid: ['he's weird but not like I'm weird, just not how everyone says a dad should be-' trying to find a way to word wtf Drew is like lol 'he doesn't like rules or keeping things clean oh and he's a really shit driver who plays music too loud and he dresses too young'] Lola: ['sounds like every dude I've ever met' lols, wiping her tears 'has he always been like that or is it a midlife crisis moment?'] Astrid: [lols too because oh Drew you hot mess 'he fell out of his pram and wasn't claimed for 7 days'] Lola: [nods solemnly 'mine too'] Astrid: ['but he makes sure my food doesn't touch and never makes me eat anything I know will be fucking gross and he took me to go get Winnie' like but I do love him] Lola: [gives Winnie love and smiles 'not all bad then' pauses 'mine used to take me to ballet, and never get bored of me showing him my routines'] Astrid: [just going off about this Barbie ballet movie called Barbie and the pink shoes like have you seen it because I figure why not have dolls as a special interest, thanks Ro, though she'd fuck with Bratz and Monster High more] Lola: [talking about the red shoes 'cos assumedly what it is based on and saying you'll look up the Barbie version online 'when Ren is at work'] Astrid: [just chatting about it to the point that she doesn't even need to see it cos you've told her everything but letting her know that Barbie isn't your fave and making sure she knows what you fuck with more like this is vital info okay] Lola: ['Like Yasmin is technically the Hispanic queen like me but I do be looking more Jade and she fucks with cats so ME' 'cos definitely a girl who was into dolls and the bratz are making a resurgence in the culture anyway huns] Astrid: [we're living a life where we only accept the OG's so of course she gotta be that blonde hun who is described as wide-eyed and bubbly and loves her friends more than anything in the world so pop off but we not fucking with soccer and we gotta let Lola know] Lola: ['I see it' like just being like you're an angel there nbd] Astrid: [being like I do support cheese pizza ONLY but thai curry wtf] Lola: [loling like 'food isn't food unless it has at least two carbs and all the cheese you can throw at it'] Astrid: [just listing off everything Jade likes in the known world like do you like these things or no] Lola: [replying like this is a vogue 73 questions I bet tattoo dude is delighted lol] Astrid: [we're having fun here sir excuse you] Lola: ['do you have a Jade in your group already?'] Astrid: [The calming force that she is, Winnie is the group's Yasmin, she can handle a sob story, as you've seen so that's wrong' looks at her like soz gal I know you're offended 'my other best friend is most like Sasha, I don't know if I'm allowed to say that when she isn't black though'] Lola: [looks around at how white everyone here deffo is like I won't tell on you, claps her hands like yay 'we can be friends then'] Astrid: [when you're clearly buzzing about this, giving her your phone like this is my number take it thank you] Lola: [saves it as angel, oh that won't cause any drama with your gf no no lol, taking the tattoo dudes biro or whatever and being like hold out your hand? but thankfully NOT just doing it 'cos she may not vibe gal] Astrid: [at first is like ?? because hasn't connected the dots of what she wants her to do and why but then is like oh okay and does] Lola: [being like to the tattoo lady 'now make it permanent' loling like hohoho] Astrid: [loling 'when I know you better' like we considering this] Lola: [so flattered like omg me and blowing kisses] Astrid: [gotta get some more water cos we recognising that we're getting a bit too buzzing rn so obvs asking her if she wants some] Lola: [just like lifesaver 'cos we been crying so hard over here lol] Astrid: [gotta get some for Winnie too even if she don't want because that's a routine hun] Lola: [live your best life babe you deserve it] Astrid: [let's say her tattoo is then finally done and she abruptly leaves like it was nice to meet you I gotta go now bye because it kills me how they all did that on that show every time] Lola: [the only time you've been shooketh 'cos you'd be a hang around saying bye for ages bitch] Lola: WHERE DID YOU GO?! Astrid: hOmE Astrid: is YOuR tattOO fiNishED? Lola: [sends a progress picture she's made that man take lol] Astrid: 25-30 miNS leFT Lola: yeah? Lola: 🙌 I am about to PEE my pants Astrid: iT'LL bE lONgEr wiTH BreAks but YOu Wont bE alloWED bacK iF yOu dONt TakE oNE foR THaT Lola: 😄 I did a little but we've had no leaks Lola: got my big girl panties on Astrid: 👙 is A GooD iDeA tOooooOOOOO Lola: so NOT letting him do my underboob though Astrid: nO ⛔ no ⛔ Lola: the chick you were with seemed kinda cool though Lola: not gonna write off the whole shop Astrid: 🌟 ✨ sHE MAkEs me fEEL coMFoRTaBLe 🌟 ✨ Astrid: thE reVIeW Astrid: & thE VIBE Lola: love that Lola: don't know how he can do such colourful work and be so sad ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Astrid: van GOGH? Astrid: 🌻🌻🌻🌻👂💛💛 Lola: 🤯🤯🤯 Astrid: Do thEy ShARE a SOUL doEs thAT maKE senSE? Astrid: hMMMM Lola: reincarnation baby Astrid: dO you BEliEVE in it? Astrid: a BIG quESTion Lola: I think it's technically a ❌❌❌ Lola: but I think it's cool Lola: like past lives, all the AMAZING people in history you could've been Astrid: I DonT unDERstAnd wHY is iT ❌❌❌ if YoU liKE iT? Lola: Jesus and Abuela 💘 Lola: 💀 is very important to us Astrid: oHhhhhhhH Astrid: hEAvEn ☁👼☁ Astrid: mY muM taUGHt mE about THat Lola: 🧹🌻🦋🌞🍞 Lola: we believe souls come back, but not as other people, always themselves, even if they take a different form Lola: and they come back all the time, though Jesus hasn't come back YET Astrid: 👻👻👻👻 Lola: I can do an offering for your mum if you like Astrid: shE woULdNT coMe bACK for 🍞 Astrid: wHaT ElSe can THey be? Lola: you can put all the person's favourite things on their altar, you can skip the bread Astrid: 🕯🌹🕯🩺🕯🥀🕯🦴 Lola: wouldn't look out of place Astrid: sHe LiKEd DollS tooOOOO but thERe's No emoJi?? Lola: that's so RUDE Lola: did she get you into dolls, what was the first one you got? Astrid: 🧚🏻 thoUGH & 🔮 & 🧙🏼 Astrid: [sends her a picture of some creepy doll because of course she still has it and cue a huge ramble about everything possible about this doll like soz gal you didn't ask for that level of detail] Lola: looks like la catrina's 👶 Lola: I like it Lola: what doll would your mum be? Astrid: [when you disappear forever lowkey to do all the research you can about that just falling down a rabbit hole without saying bye] Astrid: ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 💀❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Astrid: eVErYoNE is EqUAL in tHE eND Astrid: loVE that Lola: right?! Lola: we STAN an inclusive queen Astrid: caNT waIT tO TeLl mY otHER bFf she is GOiNg to bE so ExCitEd Lola: do you bake? I will send you a recipe for some sugar 💀 cookies Lola: i always loved decorating them Lola: and eating them, duh 😋 Astrid: I dOnT know hOw TO dO that Astrid: ❌❌❌ Lola: I can make them, if you wanna meet up again Lola: or come teach you, that would be fun Astrid: here? Lola: if you want Lola: you could come to mine but you'd have to meet abuela and that might be a LOT ??? Astrid: iTs nOT a ⛔ no if weRe frIeNds Astrid: i THinK yoU couLD bE heRE Lola: I'm a good guy, I promise Lola: I'll be super polite and say please and thank you and take my shoes off Astrid: buT 🍭 🍬 🧁  🍫 🍩 🍪 🍨  wILl maKE mY mum 😢 oR 😡 iF sHE is a 👻 Astrid: 🤫 Lola: it's all about celebrating life anyways Lola: what's better than tasty food Lola: my mother was the same though Lola: but abuela loved food because it made people 😄🥰 she didn't care if it made you fat too Lola: plenty of time to be 💀🦴s Astrid: hMMMmmm Astrid: 👌 Astrid: I wAnt to BE 😄🥰 Lola: maybe your friend would like some too Lola: not Miss Winnie though, too much sugar for 🐶 Astrid: IlL exPLain Astrid: sheS vERY 🤓 Astrid: thATs sMArt noT an INsult Lola: I could tell Lola: I very much enjoyed meeting her Astrid: & mE? Lola: OF COURSE you, gurl Lola: you were so nice and helpful Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 Astrid: thANKs Lola: you're welcome ❣️ Lola: are you from here, I like your name, it's unusual Astrid: I dOnT liKE to bE reFErRed tO bY it Astrid: it maKEs mE FeeL liKe PeOPLe ARe 😤 😠 😡 Lola: oh no, I'm sorry Lola: is there anything you would like me to call you instead? Astrid: ...... Astrid: I doNt KnOw Lola: no probs Lola: don't need to call you anything we'll manage just fine without 🙃 Astrid: iS thAt aN oKaY anSWer? Lola: of course it is! Lola: it wouldn't be okay for me to call you a name you didn't like, that's just rude Lola: my gf HATES the name she got as a 👶 so she changed it Astrid: liKe @ scHoOL Astrid: I goT caLLed loAds of namES thERE Astrid: 👿 👹 👺 🤡 💩 👻 💀 ☠️ 👽 👾 🤖 🎃 Lola: 😢👎 Lola: school SUCKED Lola: you're cool Astrid: thEy jUsT doNt unDERsTand mY 🧠 Astrid: mE eiTHeR mE eiTHeR Lola: who does Lola: still don't have to be a 🍆 Astrid: eVErYoNE is EqUAL in tHE eND Astrid: ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 💀❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Lola: that's what I'm talking about Astrid: yOu aRe GoiNg To LikE mY aUntY 🧠 ❤ 👀 Astrid: bUt U CaNt bRInG hEr HeRE foR 💀🍪 Lola: why not? Astrid: mY DaD & hER ❌❌❌ Lola: family drama Lola: say no more Lola: abuela only talks about my mother when she wants to cuss her out, and that's her daughter so 🤷 Astrid: hEs BaD buT nOT to ME? I doNt unDERstAnd hoW thAT iS suPposED to maKE seNse Lola: you're special to him Astrid: BuT whY aREnt my SiSTeRs sPEcial toOOOo? Astrid: beCausE theIR muMs aRE dIFFeRenT or Astrid: my BrOThEr haS anOTher DiffErent mUm agaIN Astrid: itS conFUsinG Lola: people are a lot of different things all at once, I think Lola: they don't all fit together right, it is confusing Astrid: wHEn yoU DiE aRE yOU NoOOO thiNGs Or moRE thinGS? Lola: Hmm Lola: I think more Lola: everything, and then the missing pieces make it all make sense Astrid: maybe they ARe tOOOoo sPEciAl then, THaT sisTER & ThOse mums dAD canT DeaL Astrid: hmmM Lola: could be Lola: being dead is meant to be easier than being alive, but it isn't perfect Astrid: & mY OthEr SisTER diDnt diE whEn sHe NeaRLY diD sO mAYBe heS coNFuSed AbOUT THat Lola: could you ask him? Lola: or would he be 😢 or 😡? Astrid: heS not my TaLking To pErsoN heS mY DoinG peRsOn Lola: that's important too Lola: sometimes it's actually better not having the answers Astrid: I sHOULDvE saID that @ scHOol Astrid: BettER not HAVinG thE anSWERS sORRy Lola: 😅 Lola: if ONLY Lola: I wouldn't say ANYTHING at school Astrid: I diDnT taLk unTiL aFter my mUm dIeD Astrid: moSTlY Lola: at all? Astrid: ❌❌❌⛔⛔ Lola: did you talk to your dad? Astrid: somE WoRdS Lola: the rest you just got what you needed in other ways Lola: that's cool Astrid: i THiNk it waS BaD oF mE Astrid: maYbe Astrid: .... Lola: but was it bad for you Lola: that's the important thing Lola: its frustrating when people don't understand you, but people get frustrated when they don't understand, even though they might not still when you tell them with words Astrid: iS thAT wHy yOU didNT talK @ sChooL? Lola: i took up too much space just being there Lola: without taking up the 💬 too Astrid: tOo muCh Space Astrid: hmmM Lola: that's what they thought Lola: basically Astrid: pEoPLe DoNt unDErstaND yOu Astrid: how mUch spaCE yoU neEd Lola: they don't like it ❌❌❌⛔⛔ Lola: i'm not trying to take other people's space though Astrid: tOO muCH iS ❌❌❌⛔⛔ Astrid: toOOOo mUch AnyTHiNG Lola: it is? Astrid: ItS 😢 or 😡 Astrid: itS beInG weIRd Lola: there's no such thing as too much 🐶😸 though Astrid: NeVEr!! Lola: exactly Lola: don't think there's any rules that you can stick to everything Lola: always exceptions Astrid: I wriTE liKe thIs beCauSe thOse rULes are Boring Astrid: loAdS of RulEs doNt maKe sEnSe Lola: I like how you write Lola: it's more interesting to read Astrid: yOu cAn Do iT toO if You waNT Lola: really? Lola: thanks, I'll try it out 😄 Lola: ITs actUallLY REAlLY hARd tO Be TOtallY raNDoM Lola: oTHER New RuLES poP UP in YOuR hEaD Astrid: ItS a VIBE Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 Lola: tOTAlLy Lola: LikE THOse nEwSPApEr RAnsOM notEs Lola: aEStheTIc Astrid: ??? Lola: you know in films, when a killer or a kidnapper sends the person a note, they cut up bits of newspapers and magazines so the note is all different fonts and sizes and stuff Lola: [examples Lola: I liKE ThAT LOooooooOOoOKk Astrid: OhHH WoW Astrid: cAn I sEnD YoU onE? Lola: THaTs whaT IT RemINDS mE OF Lola: UM yeS Astrid: TheY dO it So NoBoDy knowS itS from THem YeaH? Astrid: hoW wiLL you Know ItS from mE? Lola: YEah Lola: do the outside of it normal, so the postman isn't 😱 Lola: I nEVEr GeT 💌 Astrid: do the outside of it normal, so the postman isn't scared Astrid: do the outside of it normal, like this Lola: [her address] there you go Lola: a stamp and it'll be perfect Astrid: ThiS is ReAllY whERe U Live? Astrid: I knoW whEre tHiS is Lola: you do? Astrid: yEAH Astrid: itS By a SHop I lIkE Lola: maybe you could show me 🙃 Astrid: I JuST geT 🍓 thEn I LeAVe Astrid: thEY haVe to Be from ThEre Astrid: a RuLe Lola: nOW i waNt TO tRy SomE Astrid: diD yoUr GirLfrIEnD liKE youR TaTTOo? Astrid: I caNt STop THinkiNG aBoUT iT Lola: She lIKEs 🖤 🤍 bUT I seNT hEr ThE piC & She SAid wAs cUUUUUuUuUUuUuTeeeeeeE Astrid: iS shE gONna coMe wiTh yOU neXT timE? Lola: mAYb ❓🤔 Astrid: tHats noT 🖤 🤍 Astrid: sHe shOUld saY yeAH oR NO Lola: TrUuUuuUuUUUUUUUu Lola: I'll tell her Astrid: Do YoU lIkE haVinG a girlFRieND? Lola: 🤗 & 😘 R gOoOOoddD Astrid: ❓🤔 Lola: you like hugs and kisses? Astrid: PlaTOnic is DiFFeRent Astrid: i LikE theM thOUgh Lola: yeah Lola: with a girlfriend, you just get them all the time Astrid: ? ShE dOeSnt asK you ? Lola: she doesn't need to Lola: if I said stop she would Lola: it's just nice having a person around, is what I meant 🙃 Astrid: 👌 thAT maKEs SeNse Lola: do you like 🧑 or 👩 or none or both Astrid: 👩 👩🏻 👩🏽 👩🏾 👩🏿 Lola: hi-5 Lola: me too 😄 Astrid: but i DoNt have a GIRLfrieNd Lola: would you like one? Lola: we could go out 💃💃 Astrid: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Astrid: yeAh Astrid: yOuRe a GooD 💃 Lola: YOU TOO ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Lola: I KNOW A BAR THAT WOULD LET WINNIE IN Astrid: yOU dO????????? Lola: i KNow tHe OWneR Lola: heS SO coOL Lola: and he has his own dog Finola who sings with him Astrid: I diDNT knOw dOGs coULd sING Astrid: WiNNie coULd hAVE a SeCRET talENt Lola: they do somewhere over the 🌈 it's very good Astrid: wheN cAN we Go? Lola: 😄 When are you free? this weekend? Astrid: FriDAY Lola: 👏 let's DO IT Astrid: 🕐 🕑 🕒 🕓 🕔 🕕 🕖 🕗 🕘 🕙 🕚 🕛 🕜 🕝 🕞 🕟 🕠 🕡 🕢 🕣 🕤 🕥 🕦 🕧 Astrid: ? Lola: 🤔 8? Astrid: To bE @ yOUr hOUse oR ThEre? Lola: we could get 🍓s first and eat them in the park Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 Lola: 🙌 IT'LL BE FUN Astrid: WeRe bOTh eXciTed Astrid: 😆 Lola: 💃💃💃 Lola: have to plan my outfit Astrid: I liKeD uR ouTfit yOu werE weaRing Lola: you're so 🍧 🍨 🍦 🥧 🧁 🍰 🎂 🍮 🍭 🍬 🍫 🍿 🍩 🍪 thank you 😚 Lola: you looked amazing Astrid: I nEEd to dyE mY haiR a new ColOur Lola: have you done every colour??? Astrid: ⛔❌ 🖤 🤎 Lola: boring in comparison to the rest of the 🌈 Astrid: & hARd to GEt Out ❤️ & 💜 sTAY TooOO bUT thEY caN bE maDE inTo a PaTTeRN sO its Not 😢 oR 😠 Lola: 🦜 Astrid: BiRdS aRE weiRD Astrid: mY AunTy haS 🐓 & I ONLy liKE thEm WhEn TheYrE 🐤 🐣 🐥 Lola: DOES SHE HAVE ANY BABIES RIGHT NOW Astrid: yEaH Astrid: thEyre sOFt Lola: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 that's so cuteee Astrid: doNt be sad shE wonT eaT thEM Lola: but i don't have any🐤 🐣 🐥 Astrid: IlL aSk heR iF you CAn Lola: our apartment is tiny Lola: wouldn't be fair for the poor chickie Astrid: YoU cOuLd VisIt THem Lola: I'll have to buy some 🌽 too Astrid: TheYll be YouR FRIEnds ToooOOOOo Astrid: loVe ThAT Lola: new friends are always welcome Lola: especially fluffy ones Astrid: WiNNie aGReeS Astrid: & saYs dOnT foRGet sheS the FLUFFiest Astrid: she gETs JeaLOUs Lola: 🤭 Lola: of course Lola: she's a babe Astrid: evERYoNe saYs I was wHEn mY brOTHer waS a 👶 bUT i Dont remeMBEr thaT Lola: aw, you helped out? Lola: that's so cute Astrid: 👶 NeED lOAds of HeLp Astrid: haVE yOu EVer heLd onE? TheY caNt suPPOrt their Own HeaDs Astrid: itS wilD Lola: I've actually never held a baby Lola: or really met one, which is weird, I'd never thought about that Astrid: !!!!!!!! Astrid: My FamILY iS SoooOOOOO BiG Astrid: 👶👶🏻👶🏼👶🏽👶🏾 Lola: do you like it? what's good and what's bad? Astrid: YoU aRenT evER aLOne Astrid: thatS gOod OR Bad Astrid: Good & BAD Lola: I can picture that Astrid: bUT itS FUn & LOud Astrid: you LiKe hugS so Youd likE it Lola: yeah Lola: I think so Lola: abuela was from a big family Lola: but it's just us here Astrid: WhERe aRE TheY aLL? Lola: her family? Lola: mostly dead Lola: the ones she would've known, sisters, brothers Lola: their kids are probably still in Mexico but she doesn't know any of them properly Astrid: Im SoRrY Lola: you don't have to be sorry Astrid: ItS saD fOR hER Astrid: I mEAn Lola: yeah Lola: she left a lot behind Lola: but she's been happy here Astrid: & YoURE haPPy? Lola: mostly and most days Lola: not 🖤 & 🤍 Astrid: nOT 🖤 & 🤍 Lola: nothing is ever perfect, is it Astrid: mAyBe WinniE is Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 Lola: I am willing to believe that and let her have it too 💝🐶 Astrid: [a happy picture of this dog like thank you I'm buzzing] Lola: an angel Lola: or princess, I should say Astrid: [a picture of this dog with some kind of tiara moment on because of course we can] Lola: 🙇 Lola: I'll find mine when I get home Astrid: YoU hAve One? Lola: duh gurl Lola: it's a vibe Lola: 👑🌈💃😘 Astrid: iT is A Vibe Lola: you know a vibe when you 👀 one Lola: i CaN TeLL Astrid: I haVE tO gO Astrid: doNT fORget FriDAY Astrid: @ 8 Astrid: 🍓!! Lola: Oh, okay Lola: Looking forward to it ✨