#so she runs away again instead
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inverness here they come!!!!
#ignoring canon. does everyone know that esther forces her way back into his life even in a world where they don't have to meet#and then they just ditch london and live an oddly quiet life until the end of the war in scotland. they told me that.#more than anything in the world i am always thinking of the incredible force that these two are and how determined they are to survive#please see: esther genuinely trying to shoot him (makes me laugh everytime i see it) and the way karl blends himself into every scenario#not above lying not above running away just trying to get by. 'i treat others the way they treat me'. distrustful by default#and finally the only reason these two stop kicking and clawing is the budding family they accidentally form#AND THEN THE LAST 20 MINUTES OF EP4 HAPPENS.#ep8 gives me a semblance of peace. theyre in inverness to ME.#i do also rly adore their twin rbf. at any given moment they look as though theyre chatting shit (they are)#AND the gun thing is so funny. the gun fails and instead of giving up esther just tries to shoot him again LLOOOLLLL#no thoughts towards the consequences and with no experience with guns as well. she's literally goated#jacob fortune lloyd's interview on this and his thoughts on their relationship also makes me a tiny bit sick so .#anyways. WATCH BODIES#karl weissman#esther jankovsky#bodies netflix#my art#bodies 2023
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2.08 IT CHOOSES | 1.03 THE DOLLHOUSE
#yellowjackets#yellowjacketsedit#mistynat#mistynatedit#otp: you should be thanking me#otp#parallel*#i love parallels#inverseparallel*#mine#edit#*#tag meta#meta#wordles#HI HELLO I AM HAVING FEEEEEEELINGS ABOUT THIS TODAY#~#feeling particularly crazy about 1) the fact that misty stays more hands-off in the dollhouse; it's like she's learned more about how#she needs to handle nat - that forcing her is necessary to an extent but that it made a seed of resentment when they were kids#so misty knows better now to give nat a little bit of space and guide her instead of tackle her#(i am once again Thinking about misty treating nat like a bird!!!)#so instead of holding nat back in gif two - where misty runs toward her in 97 - misty lets her go and just watches after her#and 2) NAT PUSHING MISTY AWAY HURTS SO MUCH MORE NOW#because she didn't in 97 - when they were kids nat let misty hold her back let misty justify why she needed to let javi go and then focused#her anger about that inward at herself. but in the dollhouse nat pushes misty away!! she's turning inward again but she's letting her anger#out a little at misty! and misty takes it!! misty is her knight and it is her job to protect her queen and she tried to do that#until the very end
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The way people are becoming anti-children nowadays is really sad. And I'm not talking about people not wanting to have kids of their own, that's fine and something that shouldn't be shamed nor up to someone else to debate. No, I'm talking about the people who adamantly hate these little humans for simply existing, wanting to ban them from spaces due to them having emotional reactions that they are still learning to understand (you know, the kind of lessons that everyone had to learn and figure out at one point). It's gotten to the point where I've even seen these types of people genuinely support children being harmed and deny their hurt under the consensus of "Well then maybe they shouldn't be there," in your average public space. Like, imagine thinking hating on children, people who need assistance and guidance, is something to be proud of.
#like ill never forget this lady talking about how she took her son to some ice cream or cookie place#and let him look at the display (which is normal) only to have to pull him away bc a man got way to close#and when she talked about how weird it was (which makes sense bc it was) people were blaming her for letting her child run free (which wasn'#t what happened people just threw that in there to justify their hate & dismissing of the potential harm a child could've experienced)#“i vote that dogs should be on plans more than children bc they aren't as annoying!” is gross and brain dead bc only one of those two can#use the bathroom while the other uses it on a mat something in which has potential to stink up a plane & annoy people as well#you just want to bring your dog on board without all the hoops so you act like hating children will solve it#and coming from an animal lover dogs and other pets have the ability to annoy you on flights just as much as children can let's think now#also ive seen people say that children are wrong for experiencing emotional outbursts and im like “while it can be frustrating having to#deal with acting like you weren't in their shoes once and trying to shame them for these emotions is such a jerk thing to do“#also like its guaranteed that kids are going to cry on planes how about instead of shaming them & their parents maybe idk buy soundproof hea#-dphones? like parents are going to bring their kids traveling (as is their right) and are educating them the best they can that's not going#to change so why not take simple steps to prepare instead of hating on little humans? just saying#again this is not for people who just don't want to have kids! people who don't are just as valid as people who do#don't let anyone tell you otherwise#miscellaneous#idk necessarily how to tag this tbh#rants#tw for mentions of children being harmed
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one of my favorite things about getting older is that I’m just more sure and more confident in taking control in social situations and making other people feel at ease. I really love it!
#have always wanted to be good at it but it takes time#at least for me#my mom was describing one of her college friends to me the other day#and she goes ‘yeah she was kind of like you. personable and direct and kind.#‘and she was always going to deal with you (positive) instead of ignoring you’#honestly compliment of all time! because it does not come totally naturally to me#and there’s a lot that gets in my way—shyness anxiety a certain stiffness#but I love when i can feel it sort of giving way#anyway just rambling#also once again teaching has helped with this so much#because kids HAVE to be guided through a social situation. they don��t know what to do#and if I let them run it it’s always stupid#so just taking control asking the questions kind of —situating them so we can have a moment and then I can dismiss them#not that I do the same with adults lol. but works more often than you think#just having some direction and taking charge of a social interaction#I remember this comedian once saying he loved when someone took control in a social situation re: greetings/handshakes/hugs#like ‘oh thank goodness someone is figuring this out’ it’s so true and so funny skskdkdjd#I hope there is nothing peremptory about it! but I often find I’m so much ruder by doing nothing#than by being proactively kind and (hopefully) appropriate to the occasion#you know I’ve spoken on it before but my life really changed#when I made myself go back and say goodbye to my students after graduation my second year teaching#like. I literally ran away because I was so shy and it felt so awkward and no one was taking charge of how to do it#and the students wouldn’t (can’t) so it felt like they didn’t want to#and then I realized no—if someone is going to take the lead here it has to be me#and then I did! and there was in fact so much love waiting for me#people just don’t know how to show it#so you have to give them an opportunity#this is so many thoughts but I feel this sooooo much and I care about it so much
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Thought I was watching a spooky movie about gorgeous queer female vampires with traumatic backstories murder shitty men and feed and take over the world as they should & instead, it ended up being about… complicated family dynamics & how being a man doesn’t automatically make you a shitty person??????? I think????
Idrk but it’s NOT WHAT I WATCH VAMPIRE MOVIES FOR. That ending was such a bummer, it literally started out like it was about how shitty it was to be a woman sometimes & the fear & all the complexities that come along with that & somehow, it still ended up being about men wtf.
#bit#I think it was a transgender lead too bc I know she plans a transgender women on Supergirl too but idk for sure?#that’s not really important but it was kind of confusing bc!#it sounded like it was kind of supposed to be an important part of the movie but they never actually… said it?? like.#transgender is not a dirty word you’re allowed to say it#idek if the actress actually is trans or if I’m just mixing up actor & character again#it was confusing#anyway they literally had the head vampire say she was a full blooded dyke so like. SAY THE WORDS#I wanted lesbian vampire killing awful men but instead got how men should hold themselves accountable for their own actions#& everyone should deal with their issues instead of running away? I think?#which again! fair. BUT NOT WHY I TURN ON A QUEER VAMPIRE MOVIE 😂
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I actually find gender swapping characters really interesting (what part of their expression is dictated by gender norms vs certain events in their life vs their personal preferences that wouldn't change either way, etc.) so now I wanna draw what that would look like in my ocs except I am in pain rn so I'm forced to just lie there and be plagued by visions
#ok but#the thing with north is that when he ran away he cut off his hair and started wearing masculine clothing to hide his identity and went “wait#this actually feels right wtf“#but i dont think he really did anything with his appearance prior to that. he kinda was just existing not really thinking about himself#he was really only focused on protecting and caring for saffron#so a gender swapped version wouldnt be much different pre-running away#not bothering about cutting hair + the cultists' robes look very similar in both feminine and masculine versions#so fem north would still have short hair to make her appearance less recognizable#just would wear dresses and stuff#saffron though. i think she presents herself more in accordance with gender norms#so gender swapped saffron would always have short hair + more masculine looking clothing#but i think her mannerisms and behavior would stay the same. also her general frame#like yes she in part dresses and looks this way because thats whats expected of her + thats how she was raised by The Lady but a lot of it#esp in terms of her personality is Just Her. this would stay the same#warren doesnt give a shit. he doesnt have much gender to begin with. no gender only swag#so he would look almost exactly the same just with less facial hair probably#The Lady would very much be different. like instead of graceful threatening elegant old-ish woman with Big Hair and Big Dress#shed have short hair same level of elegance but masculine clothes probably facial hair too. like one of them small sharp beards yk#the restaurant owner (still dont have a name for her) wouldnt change almost at all as well. shes very much function/comfort over style#her clothes are already masculine n she has short hair both for convenience#shed straight up look the same just with a stubble or smth#there are a couple other characters in this story i have thoughts on but i havent introduced/developed them properly yet#pjsk ocs though ! ive been thinking abt them again#matsu is pretty feminine and it does play a role in a “part of why ppl think hes weird” kinda way#so as a girl hed be more masc presenting#i dont think fumi would really change at all. she also dresses mainly for convenience but i do think she does have a little regard for#for gender norms. but like. barely any. so maximum changes would be those ponytail parts of her hair getting like. a tiny bit shorter#toshiro would stay the EXACT same. he does his own thing#seina dresses that way bc shes expected to but also thats just genuinely how she is. so swapped shed still have longer hair n feminine#demeanor but wear pants or smth. im hitting tag limit help. cries
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am i the only one who sensed some jilted lover vibes from jensen?
#burcon#cockles#thoughts#at the start of the panel and through a few particular interactions he seemed very standoffish#he was giving a little bitter and hurt and perhaps even resentful - maybe he only learned of misha's gf#at this con too! maybe it was news to him. on top of not seeing misha for months i can understand#if he was feeling a bit neglected and out of the loop. there's also the matter of misha's gf not being#in a poly thing with jensen and dee like vicki was ie. what she has with misha is seperate so i'm sure#that's another difficult thing to deal with knowing their time together is strictly separate#i've no doubt he wants misha to have a partner and be happy but there's an adjustment period#letting new people into your life and whoever misha's partner is now or in the future is going to#affect jensen on a personal level and moreover his relationship with misha. it's all very intriguing#and while i like what little i've seen and heard about this woman for misha i just think no matter who#she is it's going to take a toll on jensen's relationship w misha. i thought it was plain to see on jensen's face#during their panel: numerous moments where he was giving a poker face that wasn't covering a laugh#but instead like he was trying to smooth out his bitterness. or so my eyes and brain and heart tell me.#just various moments where things looked uncomfortable and jensen making off-colour jokes that didn't land#and which furthermore were barbed and snarky - not in their usual banter way but like he was lashing out#and using the excuse of chaotic panel convo to explain away his comedic pitfalls. but again maybe i'm#looking to much into it? idk. there are some lovely moments! fun and caring moments - but they#mainly came from misha's direction ngl. it seemed like misha was trying hard to keep the peace#while jensen was just running his mouth on comments and jokes that kept not landing - for me#everyone on my dash is loving their dynamic this panel - and i want to feel that love! it is possible that#learning misha has a gf has skewed my perception a little like i'm putting context onto moments#i otherwise wouldn't. but i also think i would've laughed and generally felt better watching their panel#if that was the case. idk. whatever the reason i do think something was OFF between them on stage#and it was coming from jensen from the start. misha picked up on it partway though but things felt#a little strained throughout. like jensen wasn't looking at misha as much as usual or reaching out for him#misha tried to salvage and not react to things. but both their answers to the last Q were passive aggressive af#and when they left the stage together they weren't close or touching or chatting like they usually are...
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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the way i need to write about roksana so bad
#personal#i could write a book about that woman i love her so much#her story is so so similar to vitali but from a different perspective but like. they're the same person to a degree#even her arc with like. cutting her hair short and bleaching it. that's LITERALLY what vitali did as well#obviously vitali is a guy but he was a daughter once. both him and roksana went through the same thing and went insane about it#+ roksana's weird obsession with mikhail which has stayed around all those years because she sees him as like. a symbol of freedom#because vitali was always with him and loved him etc etc. all of that made roksana love him too?? if that makes sense??#parasocial relationship with your older brother's bestie. because it's the only thing she's ever known. i need to chew on glass#and the way she feels like it's her responsibility to carry the burdens of her family because her older brothers both left#so she feels like she has to stick around and clean up the remaining messes to have some sort of semblance of a family again#but her parents are out for revenge and her mother has given up and her father is still trying. there's the whole affair thing with ravager#roksana has infiltrate vitali's office and of course she goes to do that. but with her own agenda in it all#trying to get closer to mikhail again as if she will succeed this time and finally get that freedom she's always longed for#and then she realizes that it was never about finding someone to run away with. it has to come from within yourself#and then she leaves. and she leaves so far that no one knows where she went for a good amount of years#AND IT'S SO INSANE TO ME. she did not have to go through any of that#and maybe if she and vitali had talked more and had tried to understand each other more they could've helped each other#instead of just. become strangers. while being quite literally EXACTLY the same. GOD!
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it's probably not a normal household thing to be fantasizing about escaping and going no contact
#vent#a few... months? maybe? ago#when i hadn't been taking care of my hair for a while#she threatened to cut it all off herself if i let it get that bad again#i haven't brushed my hair since#because i hate thinking about it#and because i hope she does that#so that i'll finally have an excuse to hate her and run away#stupid.#i wanna buy a ticket to canada with the emergency copy of her credit card she gave me and public transport my way to the airport and#live in a motel in canada off of my college savings until i can get a sustainable job or some shit#stupid idiotic moronic#why did i start making vent posts. it's not like talking about my feelings helps or something.#it's not like anybody would even want to read them. why would they.#besides all of that would take too much planning anyway. i can't even go grocery shopping.#i was supposed to do that today. and instead i spiralled#the other day i was supposed to load dishes into the dishwasher. and instead i spiralled#and i expect to be able to do all fuckin that? and live on my own?#ohhh my mom's calling me! woohoo! yay!
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I have a question what were Annie's og parents like(i mean she was willing to run away with five aliens to be her fathers instead so I don't think they might have been the best😬) or maybe they're dead and were good people idk
A lot of the lore is actually written by @sweetpeaches666, who may be tagged under sugarbutterfly432, thanks to Annie technically being a 3 way OC lmao. There has been nothing solidly concrete about Annie's OG parents beyond the fact that she doesn't know her ancestry and she's had many foster homes AND orphanages to live in (plus it'd also be easier legal wise for the Andromeda 5 to adopt her if she isn't officially someone else's kid at the time)
It's actually why she does ballet, one of her foster mothers wanted to recreate her failed dream, turns out it breeds resentment and a lot of running away :P
What can be said is that Annie's been many different homes and in a constant state of transitioning between them, a prime example of being a refunded kid and all that, something something No Roots by Alice Merton yada yada 'oh no that's relatable'. Her birth parents one way or another have never been in her life, though regardless of what actually happened Annie will always believe that they left her behind like like everyone else did :P
#ask#anonymous#annie andromeda#ben 10 oc#ben 10#if there was a frequent flyer's pass for running away annie would be getting so many check-ins#or whatever happens with frequent flyer stuff idk i don't fly#anyway annie would call herself a jailbird if living in group homes or transition homes fit the definition#she sure does fly the coop enough to make the connection stick#p'andor adopting her out of the blue (give or take the actual time it would legally take to do so) after she tried to mug him#was the biggest shock that left her reeling for a hot fucking minute before she even had the chance to maybe run away again#something something 'what do you have' yada yada 'a smoothie'#annie realises she's been adopted by aliens or at least in the process of being adopted by them during the midst of her confusion#and maybe being kitted out with a room and also a wallet to mooch off of#because while the andromeda 5 are being given parental rights and responsibilities she's living under their roof#if shit goes south she can at least get one of the adults to purge their money on her food and supplies should she run off later#(which doesn't end up happening... at least not seriously with resentment)#sometimes she feels the need to take a breather from a comparably overwhelming amount of love and affection sent her way#let alone the fact that she's getting like 5 adults' care instead of the nuclear 2#which may or may not end up freaking out some of them (ra'ad especially but probably everyone but p'andor)#p'andor being a combination of not fully grasping what a kid on a conceptual level is but also because he first met annie trying to rob him#not exactly points for him in the 'responsible parent' tally but he's far from a single parent#sure technically- since annie's 16 (give or take to match ben's age)- she was soon gonna be too old for the orphanage#p'andor will be the one to look for her (he'll actually insist since the others might freak her out more) even if it means they stay out#just an easy bake oven taking his outdoor cat on a walk- he and annie will return home soon but hey- nothing like a breath of fresh air#anyway the tags hold more details than the post itself lmao tag rambling at it's finest :P#hmm does there need to be a warning for this?
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HM. MIRABELLE?
#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#(in the tags)#so after loop told me not to bother with giving mira the bow again i was like: okay i shld give her the bow again#i spent a loop checking every single rollback spot and it was really interesting#but scarily i was in a dead-end checking that paper where you tell a story about running away from home#but there was a rollback. and *i* forgot what i was talking about. and everyone kind of laughed it off but... that's really concerning#okay so basically after all that happened i reset to town and gave mirabelle the bow again. and instead of being able to move on#past the skip. she kind of became aware that something was wrong? and her expressions oh my gof#pointing out the bow she already had made her slot back into normalcy but. aack#i'm concerned and very excited to see what's going on. hopefully i'll be able to cut through the third floor on my next loop#( know abt the 2nd floor key now)#and then we'll see what happens when i fight the king if he's what's up there#i Really wanna know what isa has to say to me (gay heart praying for a confession-)#odile noticed smth strange too once. i'm wondering maybe if there's a way for her to pick up on what's going on frm within the loop#(she's very very smart + i love her)
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ok i am actually so very angry and there's literally nothing i can do to fix it. life keeps going on. she might even be happy. and fuck dude, i'll make sure im happy too, i was a fully developed person before she was in my life and i'll continue to be one without her. but God Damn, the fact that she can just do something so blatantly awful and unfair to me and then run off without any actual repercussions is just so fucking rankling to me.
like perhaps she feels guilty. she said she did when it was all going down. but it was just something she "needed to do". so obviously she didn't feel guilty enough or she wouldnt have done it like that lmaoooo
i really did deserve to have a good solid yell at her. but unfortunately, by the time i did see her in person i just wanted her out of my fucking life. so. no yelling was done, unfortunately.
#speculation nation#the duality of being a deeply resentful and angry person. and being a person that Tries to be mature and peaceful.#like im not gonna actually Do shit even tho i keep wanting to message her just to yell at her some more again#it's like there's a beast in me that keeps yelling for retribution. she wronged me in such a disrespectful and humiliating way#and yet she just gets to walk away like it was nothing? live her life like it was nothing?#be in 'love' with her new 'soulmate' after cutting me off like a rotten limb?#i feel so DEEPLY angry. i want to spit vitriol and fire. i want to dig my claws into her bones. make her really FEEL how i feel.#i want to wander into her dreams and make her experience what i felt. every miserable second of silence.#the humiliation of admitting you might be falling in love only to be told you were never loved at all.#and i want to knee her in the gut and spit in her face and really make her regret ever fucking wronging me#but unfortunately im a stupid fucking pacifist so all the aggression and anger and violence has no FUCKING outlet#ive been. trying to not think about it too much. ive been trying to just live my life. because i dont want her to run my life.#but the anger keeps catching up to me. filtering in when i dont expect it. endless constant fucking thoughts coming back to me#on and on and on and on i live and i eat and i read and i game and i hate and i hate and i hate and i hate and i hate and i HATE AND I HATE#the greatest injustice is that i cannot make her truly feel every single ounce of my resentment and anger#it's so overwhelming i think i could choke on it. and she gets to live her FUCKING happy little life with her stupid fucking 'soulmate'#i hope it collapses around her and she loses her too so she's single and alone and miserable and regretting all of her fucking impulsivenes#she deserves to have it fail after what she did to me. and all i can really do is hope that karma has its fucking kiss for her.#if only curses were real. what i wouldnt give to put some energy into that karmic payback lmfao.#ok . ok ok ok ok love and peace on planet earth. i am shifting out of vitriolic little shit mode.#just had to let some of the steam out. im still angry but i am going to go back to not thinking about it.#i think i should go on a nice long bike ride tomorrow. to decompress and work some of the steam out.#it's something that she can never take from me. something that is so wholly mine. fuck that stupid bitch and fuck her new girlfriend too#...............................ok NOW im shifting out of vitriolic mode. lol#negative/#WAHOOOOOO i am certainly not taking this breakup well. but i dont think anyone would be lmfao.#all things considered i think im doing a pretty great job at handling this breakup.#bc at least im only recounting unrealistic threats and fantasies on my tumblr dot com instead of messaging Any of this to her.#i may kinda want her to read it so that she knows anyways. but i wont message her directly. bc i am Trying to be at least a little mature.#complaining on my tumblr dot com so i dont message my ex with more vitriol. gotta cope Somehow.
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kind of always disliked that the mouthpiece audience stand-in used to indicate the pure breadth of the world-shattering betrayal the halonic faith has inflicted on ishgard, the pain and grief of having your entire paradigm of how you see with and interact with the world and how you view the war that you've been forced to fight in, lost friends and family to and suffered abuses at the hands of the church that were 'justified' in the name of halone and the grind of the DSW, that everything you fought for and suffered through was not only a lie but a war crime bc in actuality you were fighting and killing children and the extreme sense of world-rending disgust with yourself and pure raw rage at the vault which has willingly, without your consent or knowledge, made you into a murderer of the worst kind, all riding on the back of a literally world-altering disaster that forced you out of your home and made you run for your very life and the pure cultural grief considering that the holy see lost literally all of fucking coerthas in the calamity only five years ago is not the guy in this conversation who is actually ishgardian and has lived through all of the above but rather a sharlayan national with no connection to this conflict who's been living in ishgard for like two weeks
#saint.txt#ishgardposting#spoilers#major spoilers#ysayleposting#estinienposting#yeah I'm talking abt his HW writing again what abt it.#anyways I really do like alphi.naud I swear but like. he is not ishgardian. the complicated facets of culture cannot be condensed#into a book and just learned. he could not possibly begin to personally understand the level of harm the halonic faith has inflicted#on ish.gard and her people. he has not suffered the indignities and raw tragedies of the DSW. He has not been forced to fight in it.#he was not forced into slums to starve and freeze to death after running for his life to the only place remotely protected from the Horde#he was not raised with the idea and cultural values that throwing your life away in the war is something to be aspired to#being arrested under false pretenses and nearly executed for a crime you did not commit IS terrible and IS a crime ish.gard committed#but I'm sorry it doesn't compare to actually growing up and suffering under the ishgardian regime and the horrors of its society#he is ultimately an outsider to a conflict he is not involved in and has no relation to which sucks bc Esti.nien Is Literally Right There#So Is Ysa.yle If We Were Brave Enough To Engage With The Fact That There Are Real And Actual Abusive#Social Standards and Accepted Facets of Ishgardian Culture That Drove Her To Do What She Did#Instead Of Punishing Her For. Checks Notes. Being A Woman Who Is Slightly Wrong:tm:
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[id: a digital drawing of Faiden and Zol, two Star Wars ocs, as they hug. Faiden is a blue Theelin with a large fluffy tail and puffy orange hair, wearing a flowy top and white armor with orange paint on her hips. Zol is an orange Zabrak with a few broken horns, wearing all black with long pointed gloves. He has his face buried in Faiden's shoulder as he hugs her, hands balled in her shirt, and she hugs him back just as tightly /end id]
these siblings will be the death of me
#ash draws#star wars#oops all rebels#pov your fear and one thoughtless decision got your brother killed fifteen years ago and you carry so much shame from that day#the worst day of your life that still haunts you#and then he finds you again and he has been Changed he has been turned against your order he has been killing to survive#and he was the best of you he was the one you always looked up to and you are so glad he is alive but god at what cost#alternatively. you should have died but you didnt and you have been kept alive and honed into a weapon#you fight and you kill and you hate yourself for it because if you were truly as good as everyone said you should have died instead#but you dont. you kill the people who once would have looked up to you. all because you are so desperate to survive#and then you learn your little sister the one you helped raise the one you helped train the one you did your best to protect#she is still out there. and if you do not kill her one of your new siblings will. if you do not cut her down it will be held against you#and maybe just maybe. she will be the one to finish what she started and cut you down herself#and you fight and go through the motions like you taught her when she was a child#and you fight and you know that this is your big brother and he is still training you after all this time and he tells you to kill him#and you put down your saber and tell him that you wont fight him and if he has to kill you then do it#and his sword comes to your neck and he cant do it#your sword is at the neck of your little sister the one who should have killed you. and you cant kill her#and in your moment of weakness and indecision she knocks you out and drags you back to her new home#(and then you get put in lightning cage. ha ha whoops)#but then after all of that. you hug and you realize that your little sister is taller than you are now.#it has been fifteen years and you dont know who she has become. you dont know who you have become#this is your brother and you see what the empire you have been running from has turned him into#and after fifteen years of running and hiding and running some more. this is what makes you stand and fight#they will not be taking your brother away from you again#these two make me Explode they are soooooo special to me
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favorite thing about act I Agustín is that he's just some guy. he's just a rando with a walking staff 😭 who made him the party leader!!!
#he won that title because he's the mediator between lae'zel and shadowheart 😔#like.. lae'zel SHOULD be party leader on account of her drive and experience with The Issue Specifically#but lae'zel Also ditched everyone and promptly ended up in a wooden cage trap. so... 😔 she cannot be the Leader of the Party#shadowheart clashes with lae'zel too much to keep the party a party. Also i feel like she would also ditch you if she didn't have confidence#in you lol! astarion cannot be the glue that binds the party bc he is a dramatic.. a pot stirrer.. an instigator if u will..#he will gladly be part of the party but he will NOT be in charge of it. he needs to be 3ft away so he can observe w his glass of wine#(these are all ofc ignoring origin runs where you ARE the party leader 🍷)#gale could be party leader... but he got stuck in a vortex before the silent party leader votes were cast so#😔😔 sorry man#so instead of The Wizard‚ you get Mister Regular Degular for party leader 🙈 the dude who Just Topples People with his cane + gets a cantrip#off every other time... but he is the glue that binds the group so he gets to be in charge ���#it's like dragon age origins all over again hehe 👾👾#the gale sabotage is okay though bc he still gets the honor of being camp chef.. that has perhaps More power than party leader yk#but anyways. i love act i augie because he seems SOOO mundane. but then he and gale have that scene#where gale cracks the weave blockade in agu + is like 🧐... sorcerer?.... hmmm 🤨#and then they meet wyll and learn Tav isn't even agustín's first name.. like.. what OTHER secrets do you have staff man! 😠#you do Not want to know lol!#sriracha.txt#🦖
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