#so she gave me supplements
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sorry i've been mia and not responding much to replies or messages. i'm really unwell right now and last night got so bad i almost had to go to the emergency room. which sucks because i've been waiting for today for months because i have a fic to post but that's just not going to happen. hopefully next week i guess.
#long story short i think my doctor tried to mercy kill me by poisoning me with iron supplements#i mean sure obviously that's not what happened but i am so so so angry right now#i'm not sure i've ever been this angry in my life#she knows that not only do supplements do nothing for me but they make me extremely sick#she knows this#but giving me iv infusions inconveniences them because of my fucked up veins#so she gave me supplements#i told her no but she said i had to try before i could get infusions#and so i have been sick for fucking months#every time i told her this she was like 'oh yeah that happens with iron supplements keep taking them and the side effects will wear off'#so i did and it all ended with me spending hours lying on my couch screaming and crying in pain#until i finally managed to vomit them up#and now today i have the worst migraine#i get that this is partially my fault for taking them when i knew i shouldn't have#but i'm just...so fucking angry#i trusted my doctor and i told her everything i was supposed to tell her and she failed me#i am so fucking angry and in so much pain#next appointment is on the 26th and i'm going to have to beg her to actually help me this time#let's hope it works#personal
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🌟 PRODUCTIVE APPOINTMENT WITH HEALTH PROVIDER +15 HP
#neurologist just gave me the supplement 411 hooray#I've been stressed because melatonin has been really helpful in reducing migraines but most medical resources tell you not to take it-#-constantly. so i brought it up and she's like FALSE DUDE we actually DO recommend melatonin for helping with migraines#HOORAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!#m2a
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Idk what’s happening bc I’m not that depressed rn but I’m not enjoying literally anything I usually do it’s all so taxing
#like this will usually happen when I get quite depressed but I’m pretty okay on my meds rn so I feel more or less fine#I’m just not enjoying anything#im Just kind of not feeling anything#this happens sometimes#happened more when I wasn’t medicated#but it’s weird and so so tiring#I need to see a doctor about my muscle pain too bc the supplements she gave me didn’t do shit and no one knows what’s wrong with me lmao#or if there’s anything wrong#maybe I’m completely fine but it burns sometimes
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I just realised tomorrow marks the 7ths week of me being sick and feeling like garbage lol It's some ups and downs but generally it's been a while since I've been healthy and none knows whats up which is nice.
#been to the doctor so many times#and at least my general doc is trying but she cant figure out what's wrong#and the throat specialist I've been to twice in one month got a very helpful “sounds like stress and you imagine all” for me#like thanks i keep having my ear throat and nose inflamed constantly and nothing i tried so far helped but surely its stress#my doc suspected a virus but we also didnt find any active anti bodies#so i was just told to rest and was off work for two weeks that also did nothing#so i worked again even tho my doc was like maybe not but i got psychological issues being home with nothing to do#gotta go to my dentist tomorrow to see if the source is there#but im sure its my ears but I'll never go back to that doc#i was there twice a month cuz it kept getting worse and got a stress stamp#stress i didnt even have lately cuz i got a healthy fuck you all work motivation now#and now I'll lose all chance for promotion cuz i cant do my usual 200% and my bosses translate that with: she broken now bye#going great#also don't really have motivation to draw anymore#I started to build model sets but idk if anyone would wanna see those#I also got a cyst on my ovaries and got an appointment in july#that gives me serious pms like i never had it before but ok#someone knows a doc that'll remove the whole uterus i don't need that shit anymore#anyways in case anyone's been wondering where i am lately or if anyone even read this my asks are open if anyone wants to ask smth#or ask my OCs they live rent free in my head and are very precious to me#even my new car is named Michael#he's cute and my record so far been 190km/h#one day I'll do the 225 he can do#just get off the road that day pls#that car was the onyl thing i worked for so idk what to do with my life now#save for car repairs maybe#anyone wants a pic of my child#he's orange#I'm very proud of myself i managed to save up for him quiet fast#these tags are wild but I'm feeling a bit more energetic thanks to some plant supplements my uncle gave me
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Found out today that I was self medicating for my autoimmune disorder through eating so many onions and garlic in my normal daily diet. Lmao I did not realize that
#while i resarch some treatment options my doc received an allicin supplement as one of the possibe meds is a derivative of allicin#brad leone voice allicine#im feeling very good about this doc she gave me a lot of options and respected when i said im very sensitive to medications so lifestyle#changes are preferable and alternative options as well. mostly because of so many bad reactions ive had in the pay#past*
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Tomorrow is my orthopedics appointment so here’s to hoping it’s just simple trigger finger or arthritis, anything but carpal tunnel like my nurse practitioner from two years nearly misdiagnosed me with and put it in my head for a while that I did have it until I realized she was fucking stupid!
#instead of giving me recs to a specialist she looked at my hands herself#she heard me out in my worries of it being carpal tunnel#almost confidently said it was carpal tunnel#then quickly said I just needed to stop drawing and writing so much because the intense wrist pain#is just overuse and nothing else even tho I had literally not been drawing for a few weeks by the time that appointment came up#she’s also the one who ignore my family history of breast cancer and refused to see me when I called about#getting a physical bc that when the swelling and occasional pain started#and she just told me to go to the er didn’t help me set up an appointment for a mammogram or anything#oh and when she was the one who gave me the birth control yknow#which is what I think caused the swelling#immediately after the month and one week of nonstop bleeding which in turn made my iron levels pretty low#and all she said was to stop the medication#I think maybe she should have ordered blood work to check my iron levels and maybe put me on supplements to help bring it back up#y’all I’m sorry it’s just this bitch pissed me and still does#talkies
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Not to be all ‘I know better than a medical professional’ or anything, but I do think the people at Mabel’s vet are kind of useless
#like okay credit where it’s due; i don’t know how to sedate a 10 kilogram dog for the right amount of time so she’ll be out cold during#her procedure but she won’t die or suffer any ill effects and she’ll be awake enough to go home within an hour or so#i also don’t know how to drain a hematoma or stitch it up after. i’m not even entirely clear on what one is. all i know is that my dog#had one and now she allegedly doesn’t and that’s a good thing#what i DO know is that the nurse who gave me the prescription had no clue what she was talking about. she didn’t know mabel takes caprox#already for her arthritis. she originally told me to give mabel two halves of a tablet per day which is DOUBLE the dose she should be on#she’s on half a tablet once a day and that must continue. she didn’t know what nutremed (i may be spelling that wrong) was and originally#said ‘it might be for her skin’ excuse me what??? mabel has nothing wrong with her skin#anyway it turns out nutrAmed (i did spell it wrong) is simply a calming supplement#she did get the instructions for the cleaning right as far as i can tell#i try not to judge because you never know if someone is sick or just got bad news or is out of it due to lack of sleep. and i’m sure i’ve#sounded incompetent when i’ve tried to explain stuff before. but for god’s sake this is my dog’s life#she is 15 years old. if she gets an infection it could kill her. if you don’t know the information get me someone who does#(i didn’t say this to her. i took the prescription home; read it very thoroughly and wrote everything in my own words on the whiteboard)#but GOD. and don’t even get me started on the thing with the cone. it’s this godawful plastic thing that obviously mabel hates#but i feel apprehensive about it too because the join that holds the cone closed is kind of.. abrasive is the best way i can describe it#you thread the plastic through some holes and what you get is a surface that’s very rough#and if you’re mabel; who is a little sod at the best of times; you might discover that ✨you can scratch your bad ear on it and draw blood✨#which.. again i’m not a vet or a vet tech or even a borderline incompetent vet nurse; but i don’t think that’s supposed to FUCKING HAPPEN#would i be out of line if i ordered my girl a soft mesh cone from amazon and put her in it. idk i just really feel like they put the plastic#cone on there because it was cheap. they can probably just sanitise and reuse the fucking things whereas the fabric cones and headwraps#and bandages are single use or at the very least have to be kept by that individual dog#idk. i’ve never had a problem with this surgery before; they were super good with both kim and freddie#that being said kim and freddie only went there for vaccines and in kim’s case a blood test. so i just don’t know#anyway. i have to start cleaning mabel’s ear and giving her eardrops from tomorrow and if her ear looks super sore i’m ordering#the mesh cone and probably calling the vet as soon as they’re open on monday to be like ‘uhhhhh what the fuck’#and if they have Anything to say to me about changing the cone i’m straight up switching practices#we’ll drive twenty minutes further if it means i get someone with half a brain. i.e. someone who’s not going to give a dog with a sore ear#a fucking abrasive cone they can scratch said sore ear on. like.. use your brain if you have one#personal
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weak (r. fantasies)
warnings: smut, noncon, virgin!jisung x (f) anemic!reader, drugging
wc. 990
i been writing this on and off for 24 days and youre telling me its only 990 words im not a serious person at all… fake news its longer now cause i suddenly added one (1) sentence. thank you @neocentral for holding a gun to my head
for two entire days, jisung was antsy. even the mere thought of you, no matter how brief, made a cool wind sweep over his shoulders and his gut tighten uncomfortably.
he knew what he was going to do, and he knew how he was going to do it, but even more so, he knew that it was wrong.
but if he knew that it was wrong, then why did he resolve himself to do it anyway? why did he smile in your face as if he didn’t know that he was about to hurt you? why didn’t he give jeno back his stuff, instead of holding onto it all this time?
jisung didn’t have any idea what it was, other than what jeno had told him while pressing the tiny bag into his chest. colorless, odorless, tasteless, and she’ll be out long enough for you to do all the dirty, perverted stuff you’re too scared to do while she’s awake.
but the truth was that compared to the thought of doing it while you were awake, this terrified jisung tenfold. would it still hurt you, bother you? would you feel the soreness between your thighs and instantly know what he had done? would you hate him more because you wouldn’t remember?
those were the thoughts hurtling through his head when you got up to use the bathroom. but if he was going to do it, he had to act quickly. your nightstand was littered with prescriptions pills and jisung knew you took the iron supplements every night. he poured the powder into your water bottle, watching it disappear as he shook it.
jisung’s heart raced at a rhythm he never knew could be possible when you came back and grabbed a hold of your water bottle. you didn’t make a face, drinking it like nothing was the matter. and he was surprised by how quickly you were out. in the few minutes it took to take effect, you didn’t even have time to become sleepy.
for a long minute, jisung didn’t even seem to remember why he had done this anymore. he was staring at your face, poking your cheek to see if you would react, but you didn’t stir. he worried that maybe you were dead, but when he put his finger to the base of your neck, there was still a normal pulse.
jisung’s breath quickened when he realized all of the things he could do to you right now. he didn’t dive in headfirst like he thought he would, his fingers absentmindedly trailing your soft skin first. he started with your neck, since his hand was already there, gently tightening his fingers around it. he wanted to mark you so badly, but he couldn’t.
he brought his thump up to your bottom lip, overcome by the formerly suppressed urge to kiss you, and with nothing to stop him, he pressed his lips to yours. he was mildly annoyed that you couldn’t kiss him back, but on the bright side, he still had the opportunity to touch you.
to do all the dirty, perverted stuff he was too scared to do while you were awake, as jeno put it.
his words always echoed in jisung’s head, influencing him in ways that were less than healthy. you could easily take her, if you weren’t so weak in the knees, jeno would tease, nudging jisung painfully. she’s anemic, for fuck’s sake. she can’t be that strong.
jisung pulled back to gape at you in your night gown. he always thought you looked good in them. the way they gave away your collarbone and the little lace ribbon where your cleavage stopped, and the way the cute sleeves cuffed at your wrists was endearing to him.
but right now, as he gingerly bunched up the dress and caught sight of your lilac, cotton panties, the only thing he could think about was how desperately he ached to be inside you, to feel your sticky, throbbing walls cling around his virgin cock. to prove that he wasn’t a coward, that he wasn’t weak like you were.
and for that reason, he couldn’t be slow and steady anymore. he knew there was no clock on him, nothing pacing him and nothing threatening to tear him away from the warmth of you, but his self-restraint had already worn thin and he was running on empty.
jisung convinced himself that you wanted him as he sheathed himself deep inside you with a guttural groan, every impatient inch of him. it may not have come from your mouth, but the slick somewhat facilitating his entry was answer enough. you may not have known what was happening, but your body was hyper aware.
god, jisung’s was, too. he couldn’t resist the tight squeeze, the way your pussy gripped him for dear life, and he tipped his head forward as his hands gripped your thighs to anchor himself before he fell too deep. even they were warm, the most cute and supple pair.
his eyes were completely closed, winced shut at the first pulse of your warm and tight cunt around his dick. he knew you would have loved him, if you could feel him. he knew he was big enough to please you. the guys too often teased him, saying he had all those inches, but not a hint of what to do with any.
but jisung knew right now. driving his hips passionately into yours, big hands clasping at your soft, moisturized skin, he knew he could make you feel things unimaginable. the sounds you were unknowingly yanking out of his throat, he could easily pull out of you. the way his face tensed with pleasure, he was certain he could make short work of you, too.
“so weak,” jisung whispered into deaf ears, burying his face in your neck, and breathing in your ravishing scent. he imagined you calling him sungie like you always did, and it only made him grunt. “it’s okay. i’ll protect you. like i always have.”
#tw: noncon#tw: drugging#park jisung smut#nct jisung smut#jisung smut#nct dream smut#nct smut#nct dream x reader#park jisung x reader#nct dream hard hours#revehae fantasies
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Hey! I know that this isn't something you struggle with but since a lot of your other followers are disabled as well, it would mean a lot to me if you could publish this ask since I'd like to see if anyone else experiences anything similar to what I'm going through. I'm not asking for anyone to armchair diagnose me, I'd just appreciate not feeling so alone and scared and confused. My general physician is claiming that my anxiety is causing the issues I'll describe but I call bullshit on that:
About two years ago, cca 4 months after my top surgery, my body stopped being able to process oil. Whenever I'd eat anything that was made with oil of any kind, I'd get cramps in the abdomen after a while and I'd get diarrhea. Caffeine started to do this also but in a smaller intensity. I had a hysterectomy a bit after that and they checked my kidneys and liver so I know that those are both ok and not the cause. I also got checked for Celiac since it runs in the family. Because the issue wasn't getting worse and my then general physician was always dismissive, I let it be. When I wasn't having diarrhea, I was constipated, though I did have a bowel movement like once or twice a week. Fast forward to now. In August, it suddenly got a lot worse. At first, even a single drop of oil would make me feel ill. Then, the time period got longer - currently the cramps and the pain last for 48 hours afterwards. I also became unable to digest animal fats, the only meat I can eat is lean chicken and fish. Afterwards, gluten became an issue (Celiac is still negative), and then nuts as well.
My new GP, even though she believes it to be anxiety, gave me Itopride, and it worked for about 3 weeks - I had no cramps, pain, exhaustion, gas or bloating after eating, and I had a bowel movement once a day. But it stopped working two days ago, again without a reason, and the effects started being less effective about a week ago. Even when taking the meds, I have a movement only once in about 8 days, and laxatives make me gassy but nothing happens. I'm also not sure about this, but it seems that chicken is no longer safe either.
I think it's important that if I don't take Itopride, I never even feel the urge to go, so when I say that I've always been constipated, I mean that I don't even feel the need to have a movement. Lately, when I take Itopride, I do get the urge that I do always get when taking it, but it's like I can't go, so I always feel full.
I just feel super scared and I have no idea what's going on. I admit that I have a history of eating disorders (in recovery since May) and I did abuse laxatives about a year ago, but I don't think it was enough to cause such serious issues? I used to take them like once a week and for about 3-4 months.
I'd really appreciate knowing if anyone has ever experienced anything similar or knows about anything like this because I feel like my life is in shambles - can't go outside for long because I might need the toilet suddenly, or I'm in too much pain to walk, I'm afraid to eat, I often feel repulsive, I don't know what might happen in a month, I am becoming incapable of taking care of myself and my flat because I'm just so goddamn tired.
Ooft, I’m sorry. It sounds like you’ll need a colonoscopy to figure this one out, so if you haven’t had one yet, really push for a referral.
Fwiw, I do experience something like this, but it’s from mast cell inflammation in my GI tract. The doc prescribed me bentyl for when things flare up but I’m also on a fiber supplement (citrucel. It’s a lot gentler than other types) to try and keep that from happening. Also if you’re low on b vitamins, your stomach sometimes stops digesting food, so maybe also ask about getting your levels checked. Taking an additional b2 supplement means I can process fats and oils again which I couldn’t before.
I’m not saying this to be like “this is what you have” just throwing them out there as suggestions that might help you piece together what might be wrong.
I hope you get more helpful comments in the notes 💖
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Lost on You - Part 5
Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Supe!Reader
Summary: 1983 is a big year for you. You’re finally chosen to join the ranks of Payback, led by the most (in)famous supe in the world: Soldier Boy. He’ll never admit that he’s trying his damndest to figure you out. You’ll never admit that he’s actually growing on you. But the problem with this game is deciding who’s the predator, and who is prey.
AN: We’re going deeper and darker on this one, with an ending you might not expect...
Word Count: 5.5K
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only. TW: attempted sexual assault (not successful), violence, character death, drug use, and a twist.
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Part 5: Eminence Front
Your last conversation with your mother was on a Sunday morning, in hospice.
You sat at her bedside and held her hand. Chris and your father were downstairs in the hospital food court, ordering sandwiches. You hadn’t had much of an appetite for three days.
“I had your father call the whole family so they could watch the music video with you and Soldier Boy,” your mom said. She wore a proud, if weak smile. “He even recorded a few tapes of it. He sent one to your aunt, another to your cousins, and another to our friends Leah and Stan.”
“Pretty sure that’s illegal piracy, Mom,” you said with a laugh.
“I don’t care. You’re my daughter, and you’ve worked incredibly hard to get here,” she said. Her eyes misted over a bit in memory. “We’ve all worked hard.”
You stilled at that. You didn’t know what memories she had filtering through her head, but you were sure your perspective behind the lens was…different.
In your mind’s eye, you saw yourself at twelve years old. Chris had been pestering you all day, as big brothers were wont to do sometimes. With a slap on his arm, you’d screamed at him to leave you alone.
He didn’t speak to you for a whole month. He didn’t go to your piano recital or your choir concert, where you had the best solo. He didn’t talk to you until you touched him again, grabbing his arm, pleading with him.
"Please, whatever I did, I'm sorry. Just talk to me!"
He startled as if he’d woken up from a dream.
Your parents had shared a look, and they’d known then that their gamble had worked.
You remembered being sat down by your mother and told that they had spent their entire life’s savings to make you a hero. So you were going to spend the rest of your young life training to be one.
“We’re investing in your future, but we’re also investing in ours.”
You remembered sleepover invites rejected and summer plans canceled on your behalf. Your mother used her meager retirement fund to sign you up for vocal lessons from a former opera singer. Your high school football coach father drilled you to condition your body like an athlete.
You never had a moment that wasn’t scheduled. You were always exhausted, taking whatever “supplements” your parents gave you to keep you going. (Often it was Adderall, until it started giving you insomnia, among other delightful side effects.)
You were miserable. Then again, you’d be surprised by what you could get used to.
The end goal was always getting into Payback. It was where you’d garner the most fame and make the most money, and therefore, make the most returns on your parents’ investments.
So your father later took out a loan to get you some basic combat training from an ex-Vought employee. Your parents wanted you to be well-rounded and prepared for anything when you got onto the team—and it was always when.
If was not part of the story.
Any small commercials and modelling gigs you landed throughout middle school and high school helped pay for your family’s bills, and later for college, where you double majored in Vocal Performance and Marketing. You would learn how to become your own brand.
Through it all, you always remembered what your mom had said to you on the set of your first commercial. You were crying because the hours were long and you missed your friends, and even your brother.
“Come on, let’s wipe those tears. You don’t want to smudge your makeup,” she’d said. When you couldn’t be consoled, she guided you over to a quieter corner of the set. “Listen, sweetheart. Don’t let them see you upset. You'll get a reputation for being difficult to work with.”
“I don’t care! I don’t want to do this anymore,” you said, sniffling badly as you scrubbed at your eyes. Your mother sighed sharply.
“You’re just starting out. Of course there are going to be growing pains,” she said. “Showbusiness is a cutthroat world, and yes, you’re so young. Maybe too young.”
She wiped your face with gentler hands, then she laid them on your shoulders and made sure you met her eyes.
“But you’re going to be better prepared than most superheroes. You can literally read men. You know what’s in their hearts, and you can control them. As a woman in this world, do you know how damn powerful that is?” she said.
She squeezed your shoulders.
“That’s why you’ll be smarter than any of them, and you’ll only show the world what you want them to see.”
What you want them to see…
“We don’t have to talk about that right now,” you said at last.
Your mom nodded and stroked your hand. Her eyes fell closed in rest. She looked so small and frail in her bed.
“I’m so, so proud of you,” she said. “Always remember that.”
Your lower lip trembled, and your eyes stung. You couldn’t help but feel hollow. What was there to be proud of? You’d failed. All your hard work was meant to give your family a better life, not…this.
“You’re so beautiful and talented,” she continued. “And you’ll get your father out from under these medical bills I put on him, won’t you?”
Deep in your soul, a painful ache twinged.
You ignored it and nodded in agreement.
“I’ll take care of Dad, don’t worry.”
Your mother died the next morning. You wrote a statement about her passing to explain your absence to your fans. It went through Madelyn Stillwell and Arthur before they released the press release and even had it covered in Vought News. Then you spent the next week entrenched in funeral arrangements with your father and brother.
When you eventually returned to Vought Tower after the funeral, it felt like another part of you had chipped off.
Your room was filled with flowers and gifts from your fans, which managed to make you wide-eyed, and even tearfully touched. So this was the power of fame, then?
But there was one vase filled with beautiful scarlet roses. Attatched was a handwritten note:
Welcome home.
You thought you recognized the scrawl. A small smile graced your lips.
You gave into the desire to venture up to the penthouse floor, and knock on Ben’s door. He opened it himself. He was dressed down for once in the afternoon, in a normal sweater rolled up to his elbows and tucked into his slacks. Once he saw you, he was a little surprised.
You held up the note for his view. “Was this you?”
He smiled slightly, but he didn’t answer you. He just welcomed you inside. You followed him into the living room area and sat heavily on the couch. An album was playing on his record player. You recognized Sinatra’s smooth voice singing “My Way.”
“You want a drink?” Ben asked.
“Whiskey, neat,” you replied. He rose a brow, but he fulfilled your request.
While he was busy, you grabbed his forgotten half a blunt from the ashtray on the coffee table, and you lit up. You didn’t often partake in drugs because you didn’t like being out of your lucid mind. You preferred being in control.
Today was different. You needed a distraction. Maybe that was why you were here to begin with.
You accepted the glass he handed to you and took a generous sip, though you coughed at the burn on the way down. And you took a puff, the smoke irritating your throat even more. You practically coughed up half a lung, until he sat down beside you and reached out his hand. You passed the blunt back to him. You two traded off hits until it was more than halfway down to the roach, and he eventually put it out on the ashtray.
“My offer still stands, you know,” he said.
You turned to him. Even in your “enlightened” state, you could feel his intentions. The way he roamed your body with his eyes was unmistakable, but just then, you had a moment of clarity. You couldn’t be bothered to play this game, or hide your true thoughts for that matter. You smiled to yourself, and you stood.
Ben got up with you, trying to gauge your reaction.
“Thank you,” you said, “for finally showing me who you really are.”
His lips slowly pulled into a frown. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“My mom died,” you said. “I know you knew that, but you couldn’t even muster up a basic ‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ or whatever the fuck.”
You even laughed through the spark of tears. You wiped at your face. “This place is exactly what I thought it would be.”
The man was silent while you finished the drink in one long gulp. You slammed the glass on his counter, and you left his apartment.
It wasn’t the first time Ben watched you walk away from him, but despite his outward stoicism, it was the first time he felt the sting of it.
You knew it would be difficult at Vought, but you were finding it more and more challenging to keep focused as the months went by.
On one mission, Ben threw a man out of a three-story apartment. He lived, by some miracle, but shattered almost every bone in his body.
On another, Black Noir choke-slammed an escaped convict so hard, her esophagus caved in. And it was a good day if the TNT Twins even zapped the right culprit.
You were increasingly wary of the collateral damage and violence you were being complicit in, just by being there. You had to keep reminding yourself of why you were here. You needed to take care of your father, who was still swimming in your mother’s medical bills and funeral costs. You needed to prove to yourself that you could do this, with or without Ben’s help.
Even so, a day you were called to a full team mission made you more anxious than excited.
It was a drug ring that the police had been trying to dismantle for nearly a decade: Los Reyes. They were the "kings of cocaine," and they were brutal in their retaliations, locked in a turf war with one of the Italian mafias. As Stan Edgar had explained, the police were grateful for any help that Payback could provide.
You guys were sent to a warehouse in Hell’s Kitchen. According to law enforcement intel, it was the base of the Reyes gang's operations.
Infiltrating it was the easy part. Countess blasted right through the front doors, revealing your entire team to the group of men huddled around entire tables and crates filled with product.
When a man aimed a gun at you, Ben threw his shield. It hit the man, who then crashed into a support beam and broke his back in half. Your eyes went wide in horror at seeing his lifeless ones. You gaped up at Ben.
“Was that really necessary?” you asked in alarm.
"Would you rather get shot?” he said coolly.
The others picked off a few men in the room, but the rest of the gang scattered into other rooms within the large building. Ben barked commands for who should go in which direction.
“Sirena, you’re with Swatto. Head east towards the alley and cut off any rats,” he commanded.
You wanted to take issue with being partnered with Swatto. You glanced over at him. After how you compelled him a few months ago, he still had a grudge against you as well. But you two knew better than to argue with Soldier Boy on a mission.
You and your partner ducked out the east side into the alley. Sure enough, you saw blood splatters on the wall from a handprint, and drips of blood leading down the concrete path. After sharing a nod, you and Swatto followed the line of blood.
You turned the corner into a dusty construction site, where a new skyscraper was only partially built. Some walls were up along with the foundation, but it was mostly dirt, bare concrete walls, and piles of brick.
When you turned a corner, you and Swatto stopped short as bullets rained your way.
“Oh, fuck!” Swatto shouted. He pulled out his gun and decided to fly above. You heard more shots and men screaming, and then, it was quiet. You cocked your own gun, though you hoped you didn’t have to use it. The problem with your powers was you needed to be close enough to touch someone to actually compel them, man or woman.
Your last resort was your actual siren song, a power you rarely used. Mainly because it was lethal to any man who heard it. For that reason, it had to be your in case of emergency break glass tactic.
So you crept around the corner to see what Swatto had done. You were surprised to find that he fought well. He managed to kill a few of them, but one large man was still alive. He was on his knees in the dirt with his hands folded behind his head.
“See? Ain’t so fuckin’ tough now, huh?” Swatto taunted. “Get ready to get fucked in the ass in jail, Paco.”
You grimaced in disgust. “All right, that’s enough. Just—”
Before you could realize what was happening, the man raised up from the ground and swept the gun from Swatto’s hands. It flew across the clearing and hit the wall, setting the gun off. A bullet ricocheted and grazed Swatto in the side.
“Aw, fuck! I’m fucking hit!” he yelled in alarm. His wings expanded from his back, and he raised off the ground in flight. Your eyes widened.
“Where the hell are you going?” you shouted.
“I’m hit! I need a hospital!” His voice grew smaller as he flew away like a fucking coward.
It left you alone with a man twice your size. He seized you up with a smirk.
“Hey, baby,” he said. “You’re the new one, right?”
You raised your gun and fired, but you were too late. He evaded and grabbed the gun from your hands. You held your ground after the first punch, but the second and third made your legs shake. You were more durable than the average human, and you were well trained. Unfortunately, you didn’t have super strength like most of your teammates.
You blocked when you could and gave blows of your own, but this man was large enough that it didn’t slow him for long. He wore a sweatshirt with long sleeves, so you couldn’t easily compel him with a touch.
Okay, this warrants an emergency, you thought in alarm. When you opened your mouth to sing, he shot out a sharp blow to your throat. Maybe he thought you were going to scream for help, but it had its intended effect of choking you into silence.
He grabbed you and proceeded to beat you down, until you felt the sharp breaking of ribs and blood and dirt in your mouth. Every time you tried to slip away or get to your feet and escape, he knocked you back down. He was toying with you, and having fun with it too. You could sense his sick enjoyment.
But then, you felt his intentions shift. Darker, and more carnal. A more intense fear coiled in your stomach, rising up into your throat. A gasp got stuck there as you tried harder to crawl away.
He grabbed your ankle and dragged you back towards him. He took your wrists when you tried to claw at his eyes, or even just touch his face to try and enforce your power over his.
Just a scrap of skin. That’s all you need.
A whimper escaped you as you struggled, but you kneed him hard between the legs. That managed to stop him for a moment as he grunted and cursed. He got a hold of a meaty hand around your neck. Your eyes glowed in desperation.
Suddenly, the man’s weight lifted off you.
You panted for breath and raised yourself up on your elbow. You watched with wide eyes as Ben slammed your attacker’s face into the dirt until he couldn’t breathe. Ben glanced at you, taking in the sight of your bloody face and cut lip, your arm wrapped around your battered ribs.
His frown deepening in displeasure, he bent the man’s arm until it broke in at least two places. His howls of pain echoed into the night. Ben cut it off by twisting the man’s neck, until it released a loud crack.
He threw the body to the ground in disgust. He barely even wiped his gloves before he stood straighter. Then he went back to you.
“You all right?” he asked gruffly.
You stared up at him with tears shining in your eyes. You tried to answer, but it hurt your throat. It was also painful for you to move your body. You tasted blood in your mouth and knew it had dribbled down your chin.
With a rough exhale through his nose, Ben lowered down and slid his hands underneath your body. You cringed and cried out when he moved you, but you were grateful. You were embarrassed. And you were exhausted.
Tears streamed down your cheeks as you folded your arms over your battered middle. You couldn't help but lay your head against his chest.
The rest of the team was waiting at the other end of the clearing, except for Swatto. Even Countess was quiet as she watched Ben carry you out of the construction site.
You spent a couple of days in the hospital. There you were surrounded by Vought security fielding off any journalists or tabloids, and you were accompanied by your dad and brother.
Chris especially was angry for you, not to mention worried, but you tried to hide your pain and reassure them that you would be okay. This was just par for the course when taking down the bad guys.
Yeah, that one sounded hollow, even to you.
You were grateful when you got out of the hospital and were sent back to the Tower. Even so, the doctor had you mostly on bedrest until your ribs healed up. You weren’t proud of it, but you wallowed in your embarrassment and a bit of self-pity while you watched a marathon of Cheers and ate from a box of assorted chocolates. You dug around for your favorites, but you kept getting the weird shitty filling ones.
“Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came,” sang the TV show theme song. “You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same. You wanna be where everybody knows your name…”
“Bullshit,” you muttered aloud. Such was your grouchiness that you had half a mind to change the channel. This godforsaken sitcom was too damn cheery, no matter how much you loved Ted Danson’s fine, rugged ass.
God. Maybe I do have a type.
That was when a knock at the door threatened to disrupt your solitude.
“Who is it?”
“It’s me.”
You’d now recognize that smooth, deep voice anywhere. Sighing, you closed the box of chocolates and hid them under your pillow before you turned off the TV.
“Come in,” you said.
Ben stepped into your apartment and soon found you in your room. It was the first time he’d ever been in here, and he took a subtle look around. He wore his suit and tactical gear.
“Just come from a mission?” you asked.
He nodded and approached your bed. He smiled slightly.
“Eating your feelings in Whitman’s, huh?” he teased, tapping his nose. He could probably smell the chocolate.
You blushed and crossed your arms on reflex, but you grimaced when the motion made your ribs twinge sharply. You made a sound of discomfort and lowered your arms back to your sides. You shifted in the bed as slowly as you could. You’d been in this position for a while.
“How’re you holding up?” he asked.
“Oh, I’m peachy,” you groused. When you looked up at him though, you realized that he hadn't needed to come visit you. He was here of his own free will…and there was something you had yet to say to him. You sighed and met him with sincerity.
“Look…thank you, for saving me,” you said.
Ben inclined his head. He lowered down and sat beside you on the edge of your bed.
“You may not like how I run things here, but this is the way of it,” he said, holding your gaze. “This is the real fucking world. If you’re going to stay here, you need to get with that program, or this place is going to chew you up and spit you out.”
That fell between you two for a moment. The more you turned his words over in your mind, the more you realized that he was right, to a point. If you stayed, this was your life. You couldn’t keep handwringing. You had to be smarter.
“I’m sorry, I’m not looking very camera ready,” you said eventually. You meant it to be joking, but your voice was heavy. “I wouldn’t blame you for averting your eyes.”
You half expected him to make a joke about your black eye and torn lip. But to your surprise, Ben picked up your hand with a kind of gentleness. He raised the back of it up to his lips for a kiss. He gave you a reserved smile.
“Rest up,” he said.
He got up and strode out of your apartment. Not for the first time, he left you feeling unbalanced…and this time warm.
It took a few weeks for you to fully heal. You agreed to do an interview with Jason Carver, the anchor of Vought News. It was a bit intimidating being in yet another studio, and this was live.
The cameras aren’t there. This is just a stage like any other. You’re just…having a conversation, you coached yourself. You sat in an uncomfortable leather chair across from Jason at his desk.
When he got the green light from the producer, he kicked off the show by introducing you as his special guest.
“Can I just say, Sirena, we’re all very glad to see you’re all right,” he said, with a very convincing note of sincerity. Your abilities allowed you to read the truth.
Only show them what you want them to see.
You gave him a grateful smile.
“Thanks, Jason. I appreciate that. It’s just…hazards of the job description, you know?” you said. “But I’m doing much better, and I’m very thankful that my team was there to support me.”
“Yes, the rest of Payback really stepped up to not only apprehend your attacker, but round up the entire Reyes gang. Is that right?” he said.
You nodded, reading the teleprompter. You were meant to go on a mini monologue about how great your team was, and how grateful you were to be a part of it. It was a script approved by Madelyn, and even Stan Edgar.
You paused, glancing over to where Arthur and Madelyn stood in the dark with the rest of the crew. They were both looking at you encouragingly, but expectant.
You took a steadying breath, and you decided to go a bit off-script.
“Well, actually, it was Soldier Boy who saved me,” you said. Jason’s brows rose at your shift in direction, but he reacted with all due interest.
“Really?” he prodded.
“Yes, he did,” you said. The memories of that night filtered through your mind with harrowing detail, including the way Ben stepped in and brutally handled that man. “He didn’t even hesitate. He just threw himself into the fray…and when it was over, he carried me to the hospital himself.”
That part wasn’t exactly true. He’d carried you over to a Vought-owned SUV, and the director of the camera crew drove you over to the hospital. You decided to gloss over that detail, and many others.
“Wow,” Jason said. He shook his head in wonder. “He truly lives up to the legend, doesn’t he?”
You smiled. “He’s more than that. Believe it or not, Soldier Boy was the first one to take me under his wing. He knew I was new to the city, so he guided me all over New York to see the sights like a tourist. Stuff I’m sure he’s seen millions of times, like Top of the Rock and Times Square. Oh, and he was also very gracious when my nephew came to visit. Got me some major brownie points for ‘Best Aunt in the World.’”
That earned you a congenial smile from your host. Your expression faded with a kind of weight in your heart.
“Ever since I got here, he’s been the one to tell it like it is, with that deep, authoritative voice of his,” you said, laughing a little when you tried to imitate Ben’s voice. It got you a laugh, even from those in the studio. “In a way, he’s the one who’s looked out for me the most. I’m very grateful for Soldier Boy, and of course for the rest of my team.”
When you finished, Jason nodded and clapped along with everyone else in the studio.
“Well, that’s just wonderful. Well said,” he said, and he looked straight into the camera with two fingers poised at his temple. “Soldier Boy, if you’re watching, we all appreciate you. And we salute you.”
Ben watched the clip from his living room with a small, incredulous smile on his face.
He wiped the remnants of white powder from his nose and sneezed. Blinking the bleariness out of his eyes, he refocused on the screen while you talked about him. He knew you had to be playing it up for Jason and the cameras, but you also seemed so sincere.
“He’s more than that.”
After the segment was over, he enjoyed the climax of his high while sitting back on his plush sofa. He tossed up an old baseball from his collection up towards the ceiling, this one signed by Babe Ruth. He caught it when gravity pulled it back down towards his face.
That was how Donna found him when she let herself into his apartment. She was out of her suit and wearing a little red dress, one of his old favorites. She graced him with a sultry smile.
“Busy?” she asked.
“Evidently,” he said.
She pouted, almost like a little girl. She went to him and curled herself under his arm and against his chest, draping a smooth thigh over his.
“I miss you,” she purred.
He smiled wryly and turned off the TV.
“Really now?” he drawled. “Because by my calculations it’s been…what, a few months since we’ve fucked?”
Donna paused, the smile slipping from her face.
“And I’m not counting that hand job a couple weeks back. That shit was pitiful, and a little chafing,” he said.
For the past few months, he’d been wracking his brain to remember what it was that had attracted him to this woman, besides the obvious outer packaging. He knew the difference now.
In the beginning, she idolized him. Worshipped him. Loved him. These days, she only came to him when she wanted something, and he had gotten bored. Bored of her.
As if sensing his shift, Donna moved her leg off his lap and sat up with a frown.
“Well, then let me fix it,” she said, as she slid a hand up his thigh. Suddenly she was all too willing to use those red-painted lips to service him.
Ben couldn’t help but envision those lips as yours, a sinful red, while your mouth did sinful things. He’d gotten off more than once to the thought of it alone, ever since he shot that goddamn music video with you.
So he grabbed Donna’s wandering hand and looked at her coolly.
“Look, for whatever reason, I know you’re not happy,” he said, waving dismissively with his other hand. “Neither of us are. So let’s just stop wasting time.”
Her eyes widened. “What’re you saying?”
Ben’s brows furrowed. “Am I speaking fucking English? It’s time to call it quits, sweetheart.”
Donna’s jaw worked as she fought to keep herself under control. He had a feeling she’d be angry. She always was a little spitfire.
Her body was coiled like a spring when she withdrew her hand from his and got to her feet. She gave him an icy look.
“This isn’t going to last,” she claimed, with a prideful tilt of her chin. “In a month, a week, you’ll get tired of her. And you’ll remember that I’m the one who looks best by your side.”
Ben huffed in amusement before he laid back again. He continued to toss up his baseball.
“Keep telling yourself that,” he said dismissively.
Donna let loose an aggravated breath, but she kept most of her reaction inside. She turned on her heel, prideful as ever, and left his apartment.
When her fingers landed on the doorknob, however, she turned back for just a moment. Silence greeted her.
It wasn’t until then that her tears finally bubbled over.
Days later, a knock on your door drew your attention out of pulling on some jeans. You were intending to go on a walk through the city, take some time to get out of the Tower and just be you for a change.
That had better not be Madelyn at the door again. She had chastised you for going off-script at the studio twice already. She made the point that she and Stan had gone over those talking points for weeks, and agreed that framing your rescue as a team effort would cover Swatto as well.
He was still laid up with a broken leg, long after the scrape of the bullet had healed. He was tight-lipped about how he’d broken said leg, but you’d heard from Tommy that he’d shattered it…somehow.
Arthur had smoothed things over about your adlib though. He pointed out that talking positively about Soldier Boy helped the whole team. He was the leader, after all.
So yeah, you hoped this visit wasn’t another passive aggressive dress down from the head of PR. You sighed and went over to get the door. You were thoroughly surprised to see Ben.
And a Ben that was wearing a regular suit, for that matter. He looked like he’d stepped out of a Hugo Boss catalogue, steeped in charcoal gray with a long black coat draped over his arm. Your mouth parted in soft shock, especially when he produced a single rose from behind his back.
You took it with tentative fingers and a blush rising hotly in your cheeks.
“Okay, what—”
“Let me take you out,” he said. “One night. You’ll get to see what it’s like to be with the most famous man in the world.”
What an opening line that was. You sensed he was in full Charm City mode, complete with a suave smile. Yours was more amused, even though you twisted the flower's soft petals lightly on your chin in contemplation.
After a few seconds to think, you gave him a patient look.
“Ben, nothing’s changed for me. I told you, I–”
“Countess and I are done, for real this time,” he said.
Once again, you were taken by surprise—mostly because he was telling the truth. You felt it.
Your brows knitted together in confusion. “When did this happen?”
“Recently,” he shrugged. “But like I said, it hasn’t been working for a while. It was a mutual thing.”
You weren’t so sure about that, but…
This is what I wanted, you reminded yourself. In fact, it had been half what you’d hoped for when you went off-script. You just couldn’t believe it had worked this well, so soon. As much as you probably shouldn’t, part of you began to feel bad for manipulating him. For lying to him.
But it’ll be good for my career.
“…Okay,” you agreed, glancing down at your plain shirt and jeans. “Just give me some time to change.”
He raised a brow. “How much time?”
You gave him a slightly cheeky smile. “An hour, and I’ll meet you in the lobby.”
He sighed, but he agreed.
“Just don’t keep me waiting all fucking day,” he said.
“Come on. What’s a little delayed gratification?” you teased. Then you gave him a more sincere smile. “I’ll see you later.”
Ben nodded, with some added charm in the look he gave you in return.
You slipped back into your apartment and shut the door. You paused there when a thought struck you.
Shit, now what am I going to wear?
AN: Did you see that one coming?
A lot of darker angst and drama in this one, sorry for that. But I think you may like what's coming up...
Next Time:
You slid your hand over his on the table. You felt him stiffen slightly, his body tensing up at your touch. You frowned when you saw the glint of wariness cross his face.
“I won’t compel you again, Ben. I promise,” you said. As long as you don’t give me a reason to.
Your hand traveled up his arm, soothing along his neck, your palm finally resting against his cheek. His green eyes stared into yours.
Soon enough, his wariness bled away into desire.
▶️ Keep Reading: PART 6
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GGLAM: Krystal
"Hiiiii Krissy! Welcome to GGLAM!"
Kristie had been going to "GGLAM By Polly" for a few weeks. Normally a high end salon wouldn't be her thing. But after "Paula's Cuts" shut down and was replaced by this Barbie-like boutique, her choices were limited. Of course, it also helped the the bubbly and beautiful Polly 'grandmothered' in all of Paula's old clients, offering the old prices for whatever their old styling used to be.
Of course, Polly was always pushing for this or that. Telling her client that she'd look cute with extensions. How she should totally go blonde. That thick and curvy waves with a full body were sooooo in right now. Kristie would always decline the over-enthusiastic bimbo, who to her credit would always drop the subject and do something simple. Kristie did appreciate that her stylist always listened and obeyed her...or maybe the ditz just forgot she offered a total makeover just a few minutes before.
"You're hair is soooo soft and shiny and pretty! Do you trust me?"
Honestly, she did. Polly was exciteable but never did anything Kristie didn't want. So whether it was the stylist's adorable eagerness, the endless happy salon music, or an inner curiosity wearing her down, she relented and consented.
With a squeal of excitement, Polly got to work. Blowing. Teasing. Fluffing. It felt like forever and Kristie almost dozed off as the bubbly beautician tried something new and exciting. When the makeover artist's long acrylic nails tapped on her shoulder, Kristie stared at the mirror in a daze.
"You're such a good girl letting me give your hair a makeover! Do you like it?" Polly asked hopefully.
Kristie nodded. It was...pretty. Sexy almost, but not too over the top. She liked it. Somehow, for some reason, she wished Polly had gone further.
"OMG your face is flawless! You're, like, a literal Barbie!"
Kristie blushed, even if her face didn't show it under all that foundation. Polly's compliments were what convinced her to do more this time. Sure, her hair was kept simple, just washed in a special silicone enriching bath that Polly kept gushing about. But this was the first time Kristie had agreed to pay for the 'Pretty Girl Package'.
The results were stunning. The pink lipstick, the pink top, the little sparkly earrings all made her mind sparkle. She couldn't help but giggle with giddiness alongside her stylist, especially after Polly told her that the package meant she could take all the products home for free.
"Look at you Krissy! Ur, like, a living advertisement for GGLAM! An adorable doll on display!"
As Kristie posed, she processed the words. Her new blonder and curlier hair. Even her somehow curvier form that fit that new dress juuuuuuust right. For a moment she tried to think about it, whether the change was too much. But Polly played that catchy little jingle from the salon as she snapped some photos and Krissy forgot what she was worried about.
There was nothing to worry about! All she had to do was let Polly make her pretty. Wear the cute clothes. Be a GGLAM model. It was soooo easy and soooo nice to let someone doll her up and dress her so sexy. It's like Polly was always saying - Good Girls Love A Makeover!
"Yesssss Krissy! Look at my little blonde angel! You're shining like a diamond...or like, a Krystal!"
Krissy felt amazing. After weeks of makeovers, special supplements, enriching hair treatments she finally went blonde. 'Bimbo blonde' as Polly called it. They left a bit of Krissy's dark roots as a reminder of her old self...but, like, Krissy could barely remember what she looked like before she started working with Polly.
But Krissy didn't worry. Or think. She just did what she was told. Sat obediently in the chair. Gave a smile for the camera. Did a little twirl on command. Polly knew best. Krissy trusted Polly. Krissy would be GGLAM's good girl model.
"Krystal you've been, like, an uh-may-zing client! I've sooooo loved helping you become the super pink girly girl bimbo you told me you were on the inside!"
Krystal just posed and pouted prettily. She, like, didn't 'member telling Polly that she wanted to be a bimbo. Or even looking like such a girly girl before. But, like, Polly must've known. She always knew what was best!
Now Krystal looked her best. She was a bit sad Polly said that after her latest pink makeover her 'Good Girl Package' was done. But quickly happiness took over as her cotton candy pink brain saw her candy pink new hair and yummy new body. As pink and pretty on the outside as she was on the outside, with a hawt new bod to match her mind.
"Hiiiii this is GGLAM by Polly, 'cuz Good Girls Love A Makeover! I'm Krystal...how can I, like, help make you beautiful?"
She stared blankly at the mirror, absent-mindedly brushing her hair and admiring her makeup. Her simple little mind couldn't memorize much beyond that silly short intro line, but luckily Polly had a 'lil repetitive tape that helped drill the greeting into her head. GGLAM's new reception needed to make a good first impression!
After month going to GGLAM, Krystal always made a good first impression. Especially after Polly plumped up her lips even more. It was sooooo worth it quitting her old job. Not only did she, like, get to hang out at the salon allllll day, but Polly gave her comp...complimen...like, free makeovers for working there! It was totes the best deal ever!
She was a total GGLAM girl now. But as she talked the next client...she hoped she wouldn't be the last. Good girls love a makeover...and bimbos need besties...
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Liz, Biotechnician
Part 3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Vending Machine whirred softly as it produced the 5th candy bar in a row. It’d been a week since the science division had turned into a chocolate factory, but Liz wasn’t that worried. Coco didn’t have a chemical makeup that could be affected by diabetic amounts of sugar. The opposite, in fact, the little Sprygan was doing better than ever, and wasn’t so little anymore. Just like plants on Earth, botanical lifeforms needed glucose to grow, and apparently when given daily supplements of the stuff, their growth rate accelerated at frightening speeds.
Liz walked back to the lab, with a hearty Halloween’s worth of candy bars in her hands and pockets. Some crewmen gave her odd looks as she passed, but she paid them little mind. The door to the lab opened with a quick hiss.
“So we got milk, dark, white with macadamia nuts, and… what are you doing?”
Coco was standing in the center of the room, their new fuller branches seemingly vibrating. Liz thought they looked excited. The same Coco, who at the time when the mission began, was at best maybe 3 feet tall, now stood almost 5 1/2 feet in height and had a significantly thicker trunk. They were about as big as Liz was herself now, with a thicker canopy in the beginnings of bloom. They leaned in Liz’s direction, vines trembling.
“I just got a message from the bridge. There’s a uncharted planetoid in this system with a moon that might have breathable atmosphere, and they want a full ecological report written up.”
“So we’re going down there?”
“Correct! It’ll take 2 cycles to get there, but then it’s all ours!”
Liz was overjoyed! Finally, some actual field work instead of editing someone else’s papers all day. A whole new ecosystem with god knows how many new species… if it had atmosphere, of course.
Can’t get too excited yet girl, Liz thought.
“Does the moon have water?” She asked.
“Indeed.”
That’s a real good sign though, she figured.
“Can I have my chocolate now please?” Coco asked.
“Oh right, yeah, here you go,” Liz said, setting the bars on the table. Coco’s vines reached out and snatched them, taking them back into their canopy to be the plant equivalent of ‘digested’. The usual humming started up as they enjoyed their snacks. Liz wasn’t sure, but she thought she could see bark physically forming on their trunk now, or perhaps it was simply a discoloration.
“You’re sure this much sugar is good for you hon?” Liz asked, concern slowly winning out over scientific curiosity.
“The thing you call cocoa seeds are not plentiful on my planet, so I’m unsure if any Sprygan has ever had this much in such a short period of time, but I’ve never had so much energy before. My growth rate is miraculous, I’m almost completely out of my juvenile sapling stage now.”
“And that’s a… good thing?”
“Very. Saplings on my planet are the easier targets for predators. With a harder outer layer I’ll be much safer now. I’ve been composing a paper on this for days, it’ll be of great significance to Spryga.” Coco continued humming, ��munching’ away on her candy bars.
“Well alright then, so long as you’re okay,” Liz said. “So tell me more about this moon.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deep in the Antares System, hidden from scanners by the solar radiation of the tertiary star, was a desolate little rock burnt to a crisp by stellar winds during a flare eons ago. Its moon, however, was protected from the fire while in the shadow of the planet. And so it continued to turn, with barely a few degrees changed, undisturbed.
Until now.
The Noah entered the system from WARP, keeping a safe distance from the tertiary star in case of solar flares, and settled into a comfortable orbit around the planetoid to scout the surface of the nearby moon, now being called MX13.
From the Bridge, Liz and Coco read the initial scans from various probes launched when they’d arrived.
“Gravity reads…damn, big moon,” Liz said, surprised, “9.1, just a little under galactic and Earth standard.”
“Gas spectrometer reads as breathable atmosphere to 70% of known intelligent lifeforms,” Coco read on, “but not humans. You’ll have to wear a mask Human Liz.”
“What’s the chemical makeup like?” Liz asked.
“95% methane… similar to what you call Titan in your Terran home system. Without a mask you’d have a few minutes at best before you suffocated.”
“So yeah, rebreathers are fashionable this time of year,” Liz laughed. Even the idea of suffocating in a potentially hostile ecosystem wasn’t enough to bring her spirits down. It had been ages since she’d set foot on extraterrestrial soil.
“Ahem,” grunted Skitch, as much as a bipedal bug man could go ‘ahem’ with mandibles.
“What does fashionable mean?” Coco asked quietly.
“I’ll tell you later,” Liz whispered.
Captain Skitch had been waiting off to the side for a while now while they geeked out over the moon.
“Now then,” he said, arms behind his thorax stoically, “in six rels[?] [GAIL standard term: 1 rel approximately 1 earth hour(s)] we’re sending a shuttle down to the moon to conduct the requested ecological report. Our main objective is to see if there are any lifeforms, intelligent or otherwise, living there. If it is deemed uninhabited, we’re to declare whether or not it could become a potential colony for GAIL member races.”
Liz was almost painfully excited. Uncharted habitats, potentially establishing a colony, this is what she worked 6 years in the academy for, what she lived for.
“Sir, what are we supposed to do if we do come across any lifeforms down there?” She asked.
“You know the rules. On the off chance you come across anyone intelligent, you do not get involved, you do not get seen. We’re here to record the natural evolution of the universe, nothing more.”
“There’s very little chance of that,” Coco chimed in, “the first scans of the surface are being analyzed, there doesn’t seem to be any structure of any kind on the surface, so it’s unlikely we’ll come across any sentient species.”
“On the off chance you do have an encounter, I’m assigning commander Koatil to the landing party. She’ll be in charge of everything, and has my full authority to make any judgment call she sees fit.”
As if on cue, First officer Koatil made the bridge, her thermal suit fitted with extra armor for the expedition, hiding her powder blue fur. It seemed to Liz she’d freshly sharpened the horns on top of her head as well. She’d always figured they looked like rams horns, and thought how interesting it was that Doun women were the only ones with horns in their species.
“Good to meet you both,” Koatil said. “I’m sure this’ll go smoothly for all of us, just stick with the group and everything will be fine. Permission to depart, Captain?”
“Granted.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Noah’s shuttle bay was about the size of Liz’s old high school gymnasium, vaulted ceiling and wide open space, plenty of room for the three docked shuttles. Commander Koatil stood nearby, doing her final check as bay staff loaded the shuttle with cases of the scientific instruments they’d use to analyze the moon’s ecosystem.
Liz and Coco, along with the shuttle pilot and 2 other security personnel, stood ready to board at the commander’s say. She inspected the crew going down to the moon with them. The pilot seemed fine, even had two more arms to steer, so that was reassuring, but it was the security personnel that caught her attention. If Liz was seeing it right, the two were not on friendly terms with each other. The first one, an Indoprime, was standing at an awkward distance from the other guard, a Sed man. Neither spoke to the other, the Indoprime even slightly leaning away from the Sed, who stared straight ahead and said nothing. Both had plasma pistols on their belts, as well as upper armor over their uniforms. Liz was going to be severely disheartened if they messed up the ‘roadtrip’ she’d been waiting for.
Commander Koatil handed the pad to one of the crewmen and made her way to them at the shuttle.
“All aboard to MX13,” she said, resting her big paw on the pistol on her hip as she climbed in the door. The rest of them, Liz and Coco, the pilot, and the security personnel followed behind her. The door sealed shut behind them.
Liz took her seat, helping to secure Coco in theirs. The buckles weren’t well suited to thumbless species. She’d made sure the belts didn’t dislodge their own pistols from their holsters. Having a rogue plasma shot in here wouldn’t end well.
Buttons were pressed, dials turned, something that looked like a cup holder was pulled out of the dash, and the shuttle came to life.
“Shuttle Alpha, you are clear for departure.”
“Acknowledged,” replied the pilot.
The hangar doors opened, leaving behind the gas mesh, a thin blue wall of light to keep the air in the room from exploding into the void. Their shuttle passed through it easily, heading into open space.
“Haven’t seen this view for a while,” Liz said. Sure, of course there were windows on the ship, but it felt different in a shuttle. Like the void was just a hair’s width away from her now, waiting for her.
“My sensory receptors can’t make out anything but the shuttle,” Coco said, “could you describe it to me?” Coco’s leaves were shaking slightly, so Liz reached out and put a hand on their branch. The shaking calmed.
“Well first it’s just the sheer amount of stars,” Liz said quietly, “like a million points of light. There’s a nebula about 12,000 light years away off the port side that looks like butterfly wings if you squint… if you look at it right. Coco, I can’t express it right, the moon looks beautiful.”
“Human Liz, I’m jealous of you. Seeing in the visible spectrum must been so interesting.”
“Well what does the world around you look like? What do you perceive?”
“Well as you know, my branches have a sensory function to detect my surroundings, vibrations, light, even sensations in a way. But I don’t know how one would compare our two sensory experiences.”
“Your communicator is built into your brain isn’t it?” Liz asked. “Couldn’t it be adjusted to send sensory signals to your mind as well?”
“It’s possible, but the technology isn’t developed yet,” Coco explained. Liz looked at her a moment.
“Think we could fix that? I’d hate for my best friend to miss this view for their whole life.”
Coco didn’t say anything to that. She just listened as Liz described the universe around them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boosters fired.
Air brakes deployed.
Shuttle Alpha landed safely on the moon MX13.
The landing party filed out, and except for Coco, everyone decided against the worst case scenario and wore respirators. It wasn’t as bulky as Liz first thought, just a face mask with a line to a small air cleaner on her belt. Coco was the only one who didn’t need to breathe, so they were totally fine.
Stepping off the shuttle onto the moon’s surface, Liz was surprised at the vegetation around them. Muddy purple grass bed the ground, surrounded by rocky patches across the valley where they’d landed. Off in the distance were what appeared to be trees, thick branchless trunks growing straight up, splitting into angular canopies. Liz brought her camera up and snapped a photo.
“Alright, spread out but try to stay in sight of the shuttle,” Koatil said over their radios. “I know we’re setting g sensors pretty far out, so if anyone gets into trouble out there, launch a flare and we’ll come get you. Grite! You’re with the science team, go with them.”
The Sed man, Grite, looked almost pained at the idea of tagging along with Liz and the Sprygan.
“Aye, commander.”
“Think you can help us carry the sensors?” Liz asked, hoping to break the ice. She already had 2 bags strapped to her back and another slung over her shoulder. Coco was too small to carry anything.
“You can carry your own supplies,” growled Grite, keeping his distance from them.
What a dick, Liz thought, shouldering another bag on her other arm. The sensors she was carrying were heavy, but she was still in high spirits. Field work! Hurray!
They must’ve walked for over a mile, planting sensors every few hundred feet in ‘places of interest’, namely places Liz and Coco thought looked cool or had neat vegetation or rock formations. They’d made their way into a swampy area, heading towards a line of hills in the distance.
Coco went off a ways to plant a sensor by a small marshy cove they’d detected. Grite followed behind Liz, glaring every time she looked back. She didn’t know what she’d done to annoy him so much, she’d just met the guy, but maybe she’d done something or said something offensive by alien standards.
Whatever, don’t need him for this, Liz thought. This is a brain mission, not a buff rock guy mission.
“Human Liz,” Coco called over the radio, “there’s a rocky area here, with a subterranean tunnel system.”
“Cool, moon caves,” Liz laughed. “I’ll be right there with the another sensor, just wait for me, okay?”
“There are these round stones here half buried in the soil, at the entrance,” they continued.
That made Liz pause a moment.
“Just one or two, or are they in a kind of a pile?”
Static.
“Coco? Talk to me hon, pile or no pile?”
Static still. A few pips and pops, followed by a squeal of feedback noise. Liz’s blood ran cold.
“-uman Liz-… predator-… help-…”
“Grite launch the flare now!” Liz yelled, dropping the bags to the ground before breaking out in a sprint. She stomped and lunged through a few hundred yards of marsh, quick as she could, hitting solid earth at a dead run. The Sed was either behind her or he wasn’t, Liz couldn’t think about that in the moment. She had a pistol herself, and while she may have been the science geek on the ship, her dad had made sure she knew how to use it.
She cleared the marsh and crested a small ridge line, following the trudging trail of the little Sprygan. There she saw the scene, Coco on their side, massive claw marks raked up their trunk, and what looked like a cross between a mountain lion and a gator, long snout and mouth with jagged teeth and a ‘feline’ body, muscled and lithe with a forked tail. The thing’s back was covered in ridged scales, while its limbs were bare, wrapped in fur and old battle scars.
FUCK, Liz thought. She pulled her pistol and shot energized plasma directly at its head, but it barely even burned it. Whatever this thing was made of, its skin was fire proof. Her translator crackled in her ear.
“-human Liz…-?”
Liz didn’t hesitate any further. She leapt from the ridge, landing on the creature’s back. She took the butt of her pistol and started slamming it on the back of the thing’s head, over and over again, before the creature bucked her off.
Liz fell hard, hitting her head and mask on the ground with a sickening crack. Gas started venting fast, there was an inch long crack in her visor now, a whole chuck of it missing, falling somewhere in the dirt. Somewhere above her hair line she must’ve been cut on the rocks, because blood was dripping down into her left eye.
Dimly she was aware that she was already dead, if her mask was broken then there was no way to get back to the shuttle before she suffocated. But that being said, she was going to fuck up this monster trying to eat her best friend before making her grand exit.
What a way to go, huh Liz? she imagined in her father’s voice. He’d be smiling in a situation like this. Liz grabbed the side of her broken mask and ripped it off, throwing it at the creature as it crouched in front of her. She took in a deep breath of ‘air’, filling her lungs, and screamed. Her legs bent into a crouch, her back tensed, she tasted blood in her mouth. Adrenaline poured into her veins, dulling the pain, giving her strength and funneling rage into the center of her brain. She had one job now.
“COME ON THEN YOU FUCKER, LETS FUCKING GO!”
Liz charged the creature, firing bolts of burning plasma as she went, praying that dick Grite was somewhere nearby ready to get Coco out of there while it was busy mauling her to death.
The creature shrugged off the pistol fire, pouncing on her, pinning her to the rocky ground. Stones and the alien’s claws dug into her sides and back. It opened its jaws wide, and Liz realized it meant to eat her head. Fuck this thing.
“You hungry you big bastard?! EAT THIS!”
Liz worked her arm free, the one still holding a death grip on her plasma pistol, and shoved it down the creature’s throat. Its teeth tore into her arm, screaming pain ripped up her side, and Liz never stopped pulling the trigger. The smell of burning filled the air as the creature squealed and whined, its body going limp as bodily fluid poured out its mouth. She didn’t stop, emptying the clip into its blown out organs. Finally the thing was quiet.
Liz didn’t even bother trying to pull her arm out of the alien’s mouth, the thing was ruined, and she was dying anyway. Between blood loss and asphyxiation, her vision was already fading to little pin pricks. With the last shred of consciousness, she let out one more howl, screaming into the air, before everything went dark.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elizabeth Collins didn’t remember what happened after that. All she knew was she was sore all over and weirdly cold, which would make sense if she was just a corpse, but why did she hear… was that ABBA?
Please not an eternity of pop music, she thought sluggishly. Anything but that.
She struggled, oddly weightless, and tried to open her eyes but found they’d been bandaged shut.
Oh good, I’m alive, people hardly ever bandage dead people.
What about mummies?
Shut up, me.
She reached a hand out and touched something smooth and solid. She tried to tap her knuckles against it, but only got one good rap at it before her hand hurt too much. Thankfully it seemed that’s all she needed.
“Human Liz, are you conscious? How do you feel? Are you in discomfort?”
Oh good, Coco was alive too.
“Wait, no, don’t try to speak right now, you’re in the regeneration pod right now, in nano surgery. I’ll be right here when it’s over, return to being unconscious please.”
Oh, okay, sleep sounded good anyway. Night night, Coco.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“It’s gonna be twitchy for a few cycles until it adjusts to your neural pathways, but it should feel just like the old one soon.”
One of the other humans, a woman named Jane Shaw who worked in med bay, had sat down with her earlier that morning to go over her… condition.
“We had to replace the lining of your lungs with a prosthetic mesh to keep them working,” she’d said, “you were out in that methane air for a while. If it hadn’t been for your Sprygan friend feeding you oxygen from their branches, you never would’ve made it.”
“I don’t think even they knew they could do that,” Liz had forced a laugh, coughing a bit. “Now, about my arm?”
“Completely scrapped. Whatever stomach acid that creature had, it melted your arm down to the bone. Can’t repair what isn’t there, I’m afraid.”
“I understand. Thanks, Doc.”
Well ain’t that something? Liz was effectively 15, maybe 20, percent cybernetic now. She told herself she’d trick out her new arm with all sorts of cool gadgets, making every effort to distract herself from the fact that she lost her right fucking arm.
“On the plus side,” she said quietly to herself as she walked toward the lab, “got another new project too.”
The door hissed open. And there was Coco, still as a tree, which she guessed made sense. She could barely see the claw marks on their trunk now, but wished she couldn’t at all. She should’ve been faster.
“Human Liz?”
“What’s up hon, you miss me?”
It’d been three days since the landing party had come back with her bleeding out in the shuttle, three days since she’d gotten to relax in their shared lab. She tapped the new glass enclosure where the eggs they’d gathered were incubating, the sign on the side saying ‘these eggs cost an arm and a leg!’ Apparently Chief Ducane had gone down there to gather what equipment could be salvaged and decided they’d be worth something to the science team. Maybe he thought he was being funny, Liz didn’t know. She did chuckle a little. Just a little.
“Human Liz, you are… okay now, yes? The reconstruction…” Coco’s leaves were shaking.
“Come on Coco, you know me, I’m totally fine! See?” Liz held up her new chrome arm, the new metallic fingers twitching at odd angles.
“That’ll stop in a few cycles, Doctor Shaw said so.”
“Human Liz, why did you do that?” Coco stood stock still in the center of the lab.
“Do what hon?”
“Why did you risk your existence[?] [life] to help me? That is not what we do on Spryga.”
Liz blinked a few times.
“Well that sucks, you all just let people get knocked off there?”
“Yes, in order to maintain the bulk of the colony.”
“Well this isn’t Spryga, Coco, and you’re my friend, of course I was gonna come get you, you asked for my help!”
“I should not have!”
Liz sat down and took a breath. This would be weird and awkward for everyone in the room who wasn’t an egg.
“You asked for my help, and I’m sorry, but I give a shit about you, and yeah, it cost me an arm and some lungs, but I was going to save you. So can you relax about it now? I mean damn, you’re my best friend, I wasn’t gonna leave you out there!”
“I don’t know what that means!”
“Yeah you do. It means exactly what you think it does. That I’m coming to get you, whether you like it or not. We’ve only known each other three weeks on this boat, but you got yourself a very attached human who’ll make sure you live, got it?”
Coco was quiet a moment. Their branches started shaking again.
“I’m very very sorry you lost a branch[?] [limb] because of me,” they said quietly.
“It’s okay hon, I wasn’t mad at you about that. I’m just glad that Grite guy launched the flare so the shuttle could come get us.”
“Grite did not set off any flares,” Coco said, confused. “After you had killed the predator, I fired one into the sky before giving you oxygen from my leaves.”
Oh I’m gonna kill that guy with my new robo arm, Liz thought.
Back burner that for now.
“So yeah, hugs and kisses, make ups all around, love you too Coco,” Liz said, using her flesh hand to brush away the stale air between them. “You wanna help me trick out my arm? I was thinking a laser pointer and a universal remote control, what do you think?”
“I think you should be focused more on rehabilitation. From my research on lifeforms like humans, you require an extensive amount of time to recover from injuries this severe. It’s actually amazing, any other race would’ve been permanently incapacitated in similar situations.”
“Yeah, humans are weird huh? Perks of evolution on a deathworld like Earth.” She tried laughing again, dissolving into a coughing fit. Coco stood watching her. Liz could feel concern mixed with just a hint of judgment.
“Okay, yeah, I got rehab scheduled every other cycle after the shift is over,” Liz admitted.
“Good,” they said, content. “If my… best friend, is not functioning properly, I would be distressed.”
Liz smiled.
“And yes, I would most enjoy retrofitting your new branch[?] [limb]. We could make it… fashionable is the word, yes?”
#deathworlders of e24#humans are deathworlders#humans are space oddities#humans are space orcs#humans are strange#humans are space australians#humans are weird#earth is space australia#humans are insane#humans are terrifying
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Things Change - Ch. 4
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Pregnant!reader
Warnings: None
Word Count: 3.8 k
Tag List: @boomhauer @corrodedcorpses @wroteclassicaly @blackwidownat2814 @prestinalove
Eddie was growing frustrated. He had tried more than once now to talk to you. When back in school, he had tried to seek you out, but you always managed to slip him. The times he went to catch you at your locker, you had conveniently not been there. He tried to sneak into your gym class and he didn’t exactly want to make a scene, but it had been obvious you were trying to act like he wasn’t there. Even in the classes you had together, you showed up last to the class and bolted as soon as the bell rang. At this point, he was getting desperate and the way you avoided him made him no less suspicious that you were carrying his kid. Finally, Eddie walked away from his Hellfire table and dropped himself down onto the table where Robin and Nancy sat eating their lunch. Once again, without you there.
“Where is she?” Eddie asked the girls.
Robin gave a panicked glance to Nancy, who crossed her arms and regarded Eddie casually. “Who?” Nancy asked him.
“Don’t bullshit me, Wheeler. Y/L/N. Where is she?” he asked again.
“Not here.” she answered, “Don’t know when I might see her again.”
“You both are her best friends. I don’t believe that,” Eddie pointed out, glancing at Robin, who was practically sweating. Eddie leaned in towards them both. “Listen. I know that you know why I’m looking for them. I just wanna talk to them… please.” Eddie spoke softly, looking at both girls.
Nancy watched Eddie before looking at Robin, giving the other female a little nod. “She doesn’t eat in here because…. Obvious reasons. But-” Robin started.
“We won’t tell you where she’s eating purely because she’s been struggling to keep food down and she needs to eat. We don’t need you making her nervous and unable to eat,” Nancy cut in.
“But she’ll be home tonight. She’s been sleeping over at our places recently, but she’s home tonight. To face her parents,” Robin supplemented. “They’ve been getting suspicious, and she figured now is better than never.”
Eddie chewed on the inside of his cheek as he processed the information. Was she planning on telling her parents that he was the father and rope him into this? “Thanks. I appreciate it,” Eddie told them and moved to get up.
“Don’t hurt her.” Nancy stared at him. “I know you, for whatever reason, don’t like her… but don’t you dare hurt her. Or I swear-”
Eddie held his hands up. “I’ve seen you wield a gun, Wheeler. No need to threaten me.” he cracked a smile and stood up from the table. “Ladies,” he bowed and left their table, heading back to his own.
—--------------------------------------------------
It had been a long week, and you looked forward to a weekend without Eddie Munson. Well, without having to avoid him, at least. All your efforts at school had been dedicated to avoiding him. The paranoia grew in you that he knew. Why else was he trying so hard to see you? It was clear with how often he was turning up that he was trying to see you. Firstly, at your gym class, which is what really made you suspicious. From there, it made you avoid going to your locker too often. Your back and arms just had to suffer with carrying more than you usually would with you. Secondly, at lunch but you had just managed to slip away in the crowd of hungry and unruly teens to avoid him. So here you were. Carrying all your stuff, eating lunch in the library, showing up to class almost late, and then leaving right when the bell rang. It was the last class of the day. You were eager to go home and just rest. You sighed as you set down your pencil, feeling another wave of nausea hit you. Shockingly you had made it through most of the day without having to run off. You thought maybe you had gotten lucky. You raise your hand, sure that this might not be a false alarm, but you’ve learned quickly that it was better safe than sorry. There had been once or twice you had thought you were safe, but you weren’t and had to sneak off in the middle of the night to do a load of laundry.
You head out of the classroom and towards the closest bathroom. You look under each stall, checking that the coast was clear before heading into a stall. You sigh as you take some toilet paper, leaning against the cool metal of the stall as you wait. You close your eyes, taking a few deep breaths as you work through the nausea. The door to the bathroom opens, not that you find it odd since it was a public bathroom after all. A gasp ripped through you at the sudden opening of the stall door. Your head whips around, eyes wide as Eddie steps into the stall. He shuts the door behind him, locking it once again.
“Eddie!” you hiss at him. “What the fuck?!”
“Me? Me, what the fuck?!” he hisses back at you.
“What are you doing here?”
“Talking to you, obviously.”
“Why?” you grind out, inching away from him.
“I have to talk to you,” Eddie answers, “About a certain… something.”
You freeze. You had hoped against all odds that he really just wanted to speak to you about something else. Not the secret you had hidden away. “Something?” you ask softly, deciding to play dumb for right now.
“Yeah. I heard an interesting piece of information. Well, everyone has.”
You swallow hard. “Yeah?”
You both sit and stare at one another. Eddie raises his brows as if to invite you to get it out in the open. When you stayed silent, he huffed in frustration. “Y/L/N, are you pregnant?”
Your eyes move everywhere but at Eddie. “Eddie, please…” you murmur.
“Y/L/N.”
“Yes! Okay, yes.” you answer, looking at him finally.
The look on Eddie’s face is one you struggle to decipher. He looked shocked, worried, but also amazed. “Who’s the father?” Then your stomach dropped. You stared at Eddie like a fish out of water. “Y/L/N. Who is the father?” Eddie repeated himself more firmly this time.
It was just then that the bell rang. “You have seconds.” you replied.
“What?”
“You have seconds before this bathroom is full of girls and I will leave you here,” you warn, reaching behind Eddie for the lock on the stall door.
“Y/L/N, I swear to god.”
“Decide before you have people talking about you hiding in the girls' bathroom.”
Eddie’s jaw clenched at your thin threat. He took a deep breath before pulling the stall door open, stalking out of the bathroom. It was then that you let out a shaky breath, shutting the door again and resting your forehead against the cool metal.
That had been too close. Far too close. You slid out of the bathroom after a few minutes, weaving between bodies of girls flooding the bathroom. You retrieve your things from your last class and quickly make your way out of the building to head home. Before dinner, you hopped into the shower to wash away the stress of the day. You scrubbed at your body, relaxing under the scalding water of the shower. When you got out, you made quick work to dry yourself, pulling on comfy clothes. Tonight was the night you had planned on telling your parents what was going on. They grew suspicious each day, and you knew you couldn’t hide forever. For a moment, you considered changing your mind, but you couldn’t do that. It was better to rip the bandaid off first. You sat on your bed before flopping back, taking in a deep breath and willing the tears to stop gathering on your lash line. You cried so easily nowadays it was exhausting.
A gentle tapping stirred you from your moment. You turn your head, jumping seeing someone sitting at your window. You groan, seeing the familiar face staring back at you that you had only seen a few hours ago. Eddie gave you a look before motioning down to the lock on your window. You pout at him, crossing your arms.
“Y/L/N, open the window.” his muffled voice sounds from the other side of the window. You flip him off. Eddie stares you down sternly. “Open it or I’m breaking in.”
You huff, going to the window and unlocking it before walking away. You hear the widow slide up and the gentle thudding as Eddie climbs into your bedroom before sliding the window shut once more. “Do I wanna know why you’re threatening to break into my house?” you ask, crossing your arms across your chest.
“You know why and you know it. You never answered my question in the bathroom,” Eddie points out, not moving away from the window. Like he might throw himself out of it if he needed to.
You take a shaky breath; the tears gathering once again at your lash line. Eddie looks at you, a hint of worry on his face. “Fine. If you’ll stop following me around, I’ll tell you.” you answer and furiously wipe at your cheeks when the tears finally escape. “It’s yours. Okay? I haven’t been with anyone else. Frankly, it’s a little insulting you think I was.”
“Well, you told me you were on the pill,” he accused. “Or was that a lie?”
“It wasn’t!” you hissed back at him, turning to your bedside table and pulling the drawer out roughly. You pull out your package of birth control and toss it at him. “For obvious reasons, I have stopped taking them,” you tell him as you watch him pick up the little package. “Fun fact: some medications can fuck with your birth control.” you pick up the bottle of migraine meds and shake it, the sound of the pills rattling around the only sound in the room. You set down the box and watch Eddie fiddle with the package of your now useless birth control. You sit down on your bed, pulling your pillow onto your lap and fiddling with the end of it. Eddie slowly moves closer, sitting down beside you on your bed and tossing the birth control behind him.
“What do we do?” he finally murmurs. “Isn’t there like… doctors who take care of this shit?”
You sigh. “I tried. I did… it was awful there, Munson. Trust me,” you admit, glancing at Eddie. His eyes were trained on the wall across from you both. You could see his chocolate orbs moving, taking in your bedroom.
“Wheeler said you were telling your parents tonight.”
“I am. My mom is suspicious. She’s been asking a lot of questions. I don’t think she knows, but she knows something is up.”
“What’s the chance I’m gonna end up with a shotgun pointed at my chest?”
“None.” Eddie finally meets your eyes. “I was going to keep your name out of it. Unless you don’t want me to, but I kinda assumed you didn’t wanna be in on this.”
Eddie nods slowly. “I’d appreciate that. I don’t think…I don’t think I could do it. I can’t do it.”
You nod. “Then I won’t mention you. I promise. They might try to strong arm an answer out of me but you have my word. I won’t tell a soul.”
“No one else knows?”
“Well, no. Nancy does. She knows we… but we haven’t talked about it.”
“Got it.” Eddie murmurs, falling silent again. The two of you sit there in silence for a few minutes, both unsure what to do now. “I’m sorry,” Eddie suddenly spoke. “For… knocking you up. Ruining your life I guess.”
“It’s okay.” you shrug, “I… college will be there. And besides, I wanted to be a mom one day and if you remember, I tried to go, but I couldn’t do it. It reeked of alcohol, like it was too clean in there. And everything, literally everything, was pink and blue.”
Eddie’s nose scrunched. “As if you gotta be reminded why you’re there.”
“Exactly! It was awful. And ugly. The smell I can wave off cause I feel like a bloodhound right now. Not something they can help.”
“Really?”
You nod, staring at Eddie. “I can smell things that literally were hardly in the room. When my mom cooks, I have to hide up here.” you point to your door where you shoved a spare towel at the bottom of it with the intention of blocking out the smell. “I can smell the weed and cigarettes on you from when you were at the window.” you tell him.
“I haven’t smoked in hours.” Eddie replies and you nod, tapping your nose.
“Bloodhound. It’s insane. The smell is clinging to your clothes.”
“That’s… weird.”
“Munson, that’s not even the beginning of it.” you answer, “I checked out a bunch of pregnancy books. Shit is wild. And mildly terrifying and by mildly, I mean very.”
Eddie winces thinking about how it must be. He’s seen pregnant women before, of course. Their bellies swollen well past their feet. The thought passes through his head how he had now done this to you. What you were going to go through.
“You should go.” you murmur. Your mom would be calling you down for dinner soon and you rather Eddie be nowhere near your house when you did talk to them. “My mom will be calling me down any time now,” you explain.
Eddie nods and slides off of your bed. He stands there awkwardly for a moment, unsure how to say goodbye to you. “I’ll, uh, see you later,” he murmurs and moves over to your window. You slide off of your bed and follow him, watching him open up your window again and climb out. You slowly shut your window, locking it once again, and watch Eddie carefully scale back down the side of your house. You watch as he jogs off, presumably to his car, that he probably parked farther from your house to avoid suspicion. You step away from the window, determined not to sit and watch to see if he comes back. A small part of you wanted him to. You stood alone in your bedroom as you realized you would have to do this alone, too. You were going to do all of this alone. Your hand drifts to your stomach once again just as your mom calls your name up the stairs, adding that dinner is ready.
You sigh and move the towel from the door, heading down the stairs to the dining room. Your parents are sat at the table. Your father sat at the head of the table, cold beer cracked open to accompany his dinner. Your mom is fussing around, getting the last bits of dinner onto the table before sitting down to pour herself a glass of red wine.
“Oh, there you are, honey. I think I’ve got everything.” your mom smiles, motioning for you to sit.
You go over, sitting down in your usual spot. You start to fill your plate knowing you probably won’t eat most of what you pile on there. Your parents launch into a conversation about how their day went as you take bites of mashed potatoes. It was one of the few food items you could manage without feeling ill after.
—-------------------------------
Eddie pulls himself into his van and as he shuts the door, a pit sets in his stomach. It doesn’t feel right. None of it feels right. He feels like.. He isn’t sure. He turns the key in his ignition and his van roars to life. For once in his life, he turns his music down as the voice of Ozzy fills the space. Eddie leans back in his seat, glancing around the quiet neighborhood he doesn’t belong in. He rolls down his window, pulling his pack of Camels from his jacket pocket and quickly placing one between his lips. He lights it up and takes a long drag of some much needed nicotine. He feels it quell his nerves a bit, enough for him to think about going home. He pulls the cigarette from his lips, a plume of smoke billowing from his lips as he switches the gearshift to drive. He pulls away from his spot and heads back to the trailer park.
By the time he gets there, his cigarette is done, and he feels only a little better. He figures some food would do him some good. He jumps out of his van and heads inside. Uncle Wayne is at the stove, working on dinner for them both before his shift. The old man usually eats and jets off. “Hey, son.” Wayne calls. He piles a plate full of spaghetti with marinara and grabs a second one, bringing both to their small table.
“Hey, Uncle Wayne.” Eddie answers, barely managing not to wince at being called ‘son’. It didn’t bother him that Wayne was calling him that. It was the fact that his immediate thought was: would I have a son? Or a daughter?
Wayne sets the plates down and falls into his seat with a soft grunt. He starts to dig in, noticing Eddie still standing there. “Cat got your tongue, boy?”
Eddie shakes his head as if to physically clear it from more thoughts of you. He pulls out his chair and slides his jacket off, draping it over the back of his chair before falling into his seat and starting to shovel spaghetti into his mouth. A part of him felt like vomiting. Not vomit, but words. He felt anxious. He wanted to tell Wayne. He wanted advice. What should he do? He thought he did the right thing… but did he?
“What’s bothering you?”
Eddie’s head snaps up, staring at his uncle. Wayne is watching him, silently twirling spaghetti around his fork as he regards his nephew. “W-What?” Eddie managed to spit out.
“You’ve been livin with me on and off for a few years now. Since you were a wee boy. Now steadily living with me for a few years now. I know when something is bothering you. Are you having nightmares about that place again? Should I call those doctors?”
“No! No, no nightmares again.” Eddie reassures his uncle. After everything had happened and Eddie was laid up in the hospital, it became impossible to keep the truth from him. The party, along with Chief Hopper and Ms. Byers, had filled his Uncle Wayne in on what had really happened. Wayne hovered a lot more after he had learned what happened. After a year had passed, he started to ease up.
“Then what’s bothering you so much? You look like you’re ready to start climbing the walls.”
“I got a girl pregnant!” Eddie yelled, voice cracking in the beginning, but he had said it. Loudly.
Wayne sat there, mouth open as he stared at Eddie. Eddie gulped, ready for the talking to of his lifetime. Did he get yelled at when Wayne found out he sold weed? Yes. Did he get scolded for all the times he failed graduating high school? Yes. Did he get gently scolded for disappearing after what happened in their old trailer?... yes. But this? Eddie had no clue what would happen. Wayne dropped his fork, elbows on the table, as he laced his fingers together. He watched Eddie. Eddie hoped the ground would open up and swallow him whole.
“And?” Wayne asks.
Eddie’s mouth opens and closes. And what? Eddie thought to himself. Wayne is still watching him. “And?” he repeated back to his uncle.
“And what are you going to do about it?” Wayne asks, “What has she said?”
Eddie gulps again. “She, uh, she is telling her parents. Tonight. Probably like right now.”
“So, why are you here?”
Eddie’s eyes finally move back down to his plate at Wayne’s question. “She, we, uh,”
“Look at me, son,” Wayne softly commands.
Eddie looks back up at his uncle. “I’m being left out of it. Her parents won’t know it’s me and I won’t be…”
“Around?” Wayne looked disappointed. “Who decided that?”
“She suggested it. And I agreed. I wanted it…”
“So you’re telling me that you got this girl pregnant and you just let out? Abandon her and your kid. Cause whether you like it or not, son, that baby is half yours. Half your genes. Half your responsibility. Hell, since you up and left her it should probably be more your responsibility than her’s. You’ve got the swimmers, after all.”
“Wayne,” Eddie barely got the word out.
“I ain’t done.” Wayne warned him, giving him a look. “I thought I raised you better, Edward. I woulda thought…” Wayne heaves a heavy sigh. “I woulda thought after being around Al Munson that you’d do better than him.”
Eddie felt like ice was being pumped through his veins. He felt anger boil in his chest. He wasn’t his father. He was nothing like Al Munson, who disappeared on and off on Eddie since he was in the third grade. Who he hadn’t seen in years after the last time he tried to get him to help him with some scheme. But Eddie also felt guilt. He felt guilt in the pit of his stomach because Eddie had abandoned you. He left you there alone to face your parents alone. Like a coward. Like a coward, he ran again.
“I’m disappointed, son.”
“I don’t know what to do.” Eddie admitted quietly, “I don’t know how to be a dad. I’d probably suck at it.”
“You don’t know that. Hell, you think anyone has any idea how to be a parent? I sure as shit didn’t. But I learned. I learned how to take care of you right.” Wayne shrugs, “And I think I did a pretty good damn job, all things considered. Ya know, besides the other dimensions thing.”
“I’m scared, too.”
“And you think she isn’t?” Wayne chuckled, “Boy, you have no clue what she’s about to go through. But there’s still time for you to change your mind. Take responsibility. I’m not sayin you have to marry the girl. You don’t even have to be with her if that’s not what you want, but be there for that baby. They’re innocent in all this, you know.”
Eddie slumped in his seat. He knew his uncle was right. Of course, his uncle was right. Eddie glanced at the clock. He had to hope you hadn’t told your parents yet. If you had, hell, he might have time to jump in the middle of a screaming match. Eddie pushed away from the table, pulling his jacket off of his chair and slipping it on.
“Atta boy. I’ll put your food in the fridge.” Wayne told him, “Oh, and son?”
Eddie paused with his hand on the doorknob. “Yeah?”
“You better bring her by to meet your old man.”
Eddie gulped and nodded. “Yes, sir.” he saluted his uncle before flying out the door to his van.
#pregnant!reader#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x female!reader#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson fanfiction
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Stage Kiss
Written for Throne of Glass Microfics
This accidentally ended up the size of two microfics but I’m tagging you if you’ll still have me @throneofglassmicrofics
Prompts: mainly indulge but I ended up using mayhem too
Warning: teenagers
Words: 1,9k 🫣
1st run
Today, at 3:30 p.m., Rowan would kiss Aelin Galathynius on the cheek.
Pathetically enough, this little knowledge was on the forefront of his mind all day. Not his classes, no. Just Aelin’s ivory—occasionally rosy—cheek.
“Whitethorn!” Fenrys shouted in the hallway several steps behind, forcing him to turn and stop so his friend could catch up. “Looking good,” Fen said, playfully slapping the back of his hand against Rowan’s bicep.
Rowan rolled his eyes. He thought that going to the gym every day—plus taking supplements behind his mom’s back—would magically make him more confident. It didn’t. The only difference was that he looked slightly less thin, so now Fenrys occasionally catcalls him and reacts to his IG stories with the flame emoji.
Even worse, Remelle Wiselheade was now hitting on him. His plan to get Aelin’s attention absolutely backfired.
As if he was a mind-reader, Fenrys said, “And how does it feel to be Aelin’s husband?”
Rowan blinked. “Uh…”
“I mean in the play!” Fenrys threw his head back and cackled, then urged them towards the school theater. “Bro, you’re—“
“I obviously knew that!” Rowan said, defensive.
He was just taking theater classes because his mom thought it’d help him with the shyness. But Aelin? Aelin Galathynius could give Margot Robbie a good run for her money—in both talent and beauty.
If enduring his crush on her during classes wasn’t enough, they were acting as husband and wife for this play.
And it required him to kiss her on the cheek.
He was glad that Mr. Emrys, their drama teacher, had a no-kids-kissing-on-stage policy. Rowan was half a lip virgin—that thing with Lyria didn’t count—and while having an almost first kiss with Aelin would’ve been great, he wasn’t looking forward to a very public cardiovascular malfunction.
Once inside, he quickly found her by a wall with Nehemia. Aelin didn’t see him at first, but he slowed his pace to look at her better, making Fenrys—who was right behind him—trip and take Rowan down with him. Not down, since both recovered before falling face-first on the floor, but the whole thing was loud enough that now he had Aelin’s attention. At the worst moment imaginable.
She smiled at him and sent a tiny wave, and by the poorly hidden smirk on Nehemia’s face—very similar to Fenrys’—she must’ve figured out his crush on Aelin. She had to. Nehemia Ytger was one of the smartest people he knew, he just hoped she’d keep her mouth shut for now.
Once everyone gathered around Mr. Emrys and he gave them directions for today, the first rehearsal for Hamlet began.
It passed like a blur until the scene arrived.
[Modified Act 1, Scene 2]
The court gathers. Claudius stands before the throne—simple practice chairs, actually—with Gertrude at his side. Hamlet watches from a distance, looking somber and disapproving.
Rowan didn’t want to read too much into why he learned even the narration. He turned to his “court” and said:
Though my dear brother’s death is fresh in memory, we must also move forward.
Therefore, I have married my brother’s widow, Gertrude, to strengthen Denmark and honor our kingdom.
Gently holding Aelin’s hand, Rowan swallowed and almost froze when it was time, but her encouraging smile propelled him further.
He might’ve just dipped in and out, but feeling her skin under his lips was the quickest yet longest second of his life.
His cheek kiss was followed by deafening silence. For a second Rowan thought he’d embarrassed himself somehow, until he found everyone staring at Fenrys, waiting for Hamlet.
His friend looked like a deer in the headlights.
“I forgot.”
“A little more than kin, and less than kind, Moonbeam.” Mr. Emrys took a calming breath. “Let’s do another run of this scene, shall we?”
2nd run
Therefore, I have married my brother’s widow, Gertrude, to strengthen Denmark and honor our kingdom.
Rowan took Aelin’s hand again. Both experience and her open expression made him kiss her cheek more confidently this time, and he was calm enough to enjoy the moment.
The same awkward silence again.
“Mr. E, I have ADHD,” Fenrys protested, though the twitch in the corners of his mouth betrayed the seriousness. “Don’t you think it’s a bit fascist of you to make me learn all these lines in medieval?”
It’s called ‘Early Modern Common Tongue’, Moonbeam. You’ll learn with practice.” Mr. Emrys settled back into his seat. “Let’s do another run.”
4th run
By now, Rowan was very well practiced in kissing Aelin’s cheek.
Because of the political nature of their characters’ marriage, a greater actor would make Claudius give Gertrude a triumphant look rather than a fond one, but if Mr. Emrys wanted a great actor, he should’ve thought twice before casting Rowan.
Therefore, I have married my brother’s widow, Gertrude, to strengthen Denmark and honor our kingdom.
As practiced, he reverently took Aelin’s hand and leaned in for the cheek kiss.
But she turned her head. The spot on her cheek that he focused on became a blur, and before he could grasp the situation, he felt the softness of her lips in his.
An awkward miscalculation on her part.
Or was it?
The way Rowan jerked back in surprise made their peck quicker than the other kisses.
“Whitethorn!” Mr. Emrys called, one finger pointed at him. “That was supposed to be on the cheek, mister.”
He froze, glancing wide-eyed between the teacher and Aelin’s mischievous look. He could protest and clarify that she was the one to incite the kiss, but that would just be loser—worse, virgin—behavior.
Rowan may be both, but he sure wasn’t acting like it.
With the snickers that came from the students, their teacher’s stance relaxed. He slowly shook his head and muttered, “Teenagers,” as a chuckle escaped him.
5th run
Rowan was determined to return Aelin’s peck, which meant that now stakes were higher. This time, he was even more nervous than before the rehearsal started.
She is cute. Rowan really likes her. And she kissed him first.
And this self-pep talk was shit at calming him down.
Therefore, I have married my brother’s widow, Gertrude, to strengthen Denmark and honor our kingdom.
Instead of holding her hand, Rowan held her jaw instead. By their silent exchange, she had an inkling of what was coming, and her expression seemed welcoming. A quick brush of his thumb as another warning, and he leaned in.
Pillowy soft lips briefly against his was a brief shoot to the skies and back.
It was quick. It was glorious. The sweet, sticky feel of her lipgloss was the best thing he’d ever tasted.
“A little more than kind, and—“
“Gods, Fenrys, it’s kin!” Nehemia shouted from the sidelines, distracting the teacher enough to forget about the kiss.
After this, Mr. Emrys stopped complaining—he had bigger battles to fight.
7th run
After their third kiss—plus four on the cheek—Rowan began to wonder if it was too soon for a “What are we?” conversation.
Maybe he should ask her out.
Scratch that, he was absolutely asking her out. If he got rejected, life would go on—after he changed schools.
Therefore, I have married my brother’s widow, Gertrude, to strengthen Denmark and honor our kingdom.
Rowan stroke her cheek with his thumb and leaned in once again for their peck, but once he did, Aelin threaded her fingers through his hair and kept him there, tilted her head. She waited a second for his response, then retreated once it didn’t come.
Shit. Was this—
With hawk-like speed, Rowan grasped her face with both hands before she could draw back and… well, it was too much of a whirlwind inside his head to make sense of what was going on. All he knew was exploring tongues and her hands on his neck and his heart that threatened to leap out of his throat to interrupt the kiss.
He couldn’t believe he was kissing Aelin Galathynius, and she felt so soft. Soft lips, soft skin, a soft sigh that he felt in areas he’d rather forget to not embarrass himself.
“A little more than kin, and—HOLY SHIT”
The absolute silence turned into mayhem once Fenrys abruptly addressed what was going on. Once he did, the students howled and whistled at them.
However, the only reaction he cared about was Aelin’s, who stared at him with flushed cheeks and wide turquoise eyes that sparkled with something he couldn’t quite place. She giggled and hid it behind her hand, and the sight of her nervous excitement brought a funny feeling to his stomach.
“Okay, that’s enough,” their teacher said to interrupt everyone’s shouts and cheers. “Moonbeam, you’ll arrive with your lines fully memorized next time—this is not a request. Everyone’s dismissed except for Whitethorn and Galathynius.”
The mood immediately sobered as students grabbed their things between whispers. It didn’t affect him like people thought it would, though. Rowan had just kissed Aelin—with tongue. Mr. Emrys could put him in detention ‘til eternity, he didn’t give a fuck.
They got ready to leave along with everyone else, but gathered around the chair their teacher was still on once the theater was empty.
A twitch of Mr. Emry’s lips into a firm line told them he was trying to get into ‘stern teacher’ mode. He’s not really the authoritative type, but they broke the rules, and it was in the job description that he plays a role for discipline’s sake.
“In the script, it says ‘kiss on the cheek’, and I need my actors to do exactly as scripted, okay?”
Rowan and Aelin both muttered their agreements.
“Great. If that—“ Mr. Emrys pointed at the spot their kiss happened. “happens again, I’ll have to take measures all three of us won’t like.”
“We understand.”
“Great.” He said in an upbeat mode, without his ‘stern teacher’ frown, switching back to ‘nice teacher’ mode. “Glad that’s settled. You can go now, but I want you in your best behavior from now on.”
The thing about Mr. Emrys is that he’s a really cool dude. He rarely gets angry at his students, most times it’s an odd sort of fond exasperation. It worked on their favor this time, but Rowan wouldn’t take it for granted.
Outside, Aelin stopped once the door was closed. So did he. The playful flirtation they had during rehearsal was gone, and Rowan was unsure on how to make a move in this awkward silence.
It was now or never, though.
Aelin chuckled and went her way down the hall, which he followed beside her.
“So, that happened.”
He gave her a brief, close-lipped smile. “I was thinking…”
“Yeah?” She swiftly looked up at him, eyes wide.
“Doyouwannagooutsometime?”
Rowan hoped the blood rushing into his cheeks wasn’t visible from outer space.
Aelin had both hands gripping the shoulder straps of her backpack as she fought the corners of her lips from quirking up.
“Sure,” she said. “Do you have something in mind? Because there’s this movie I really wanna watch—”
“We can watch it.”
Aelin bit her bottom lip, eyes brimming with amusement. “I haven’t told you which movie it is yet.”
He tilted his head, silently urging her to give the information.
Please, anything but that gorey demon one he saw last weekend.
“Do you wanna go see Healers vs. Demons?”
“Sounds great,” Rowan half-lied.
Any movie sounded great if it was on his first date with Aelin.
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God you’re gonna hate me for this thought but after reading dad!simon all I kept thinking was
What if the daughter did die? Like id imagine reader being fuckin PISSED and kinda being closed off with Simon cus she didn’t want her daughter being in the army and Simon wasn’t hearing her concerns
oh
oh i do hate you
but i had to write it
teared up twice writing it and said i cant cry tonight about this
part 1 - dad!simon
word count: 750
warnings: death, grief
buy me a ko-fi
They brought your daughter home in a plain pine box.
They wouldn’t let you see her no matter how you wept and tore at the lid that had been nailed tightly shut.
“Just let me see my baby, I need to make sure it’s her…Let me see her just once please…” You cried to her C.O. The man gave a pained look above your shoulder at your husband, ever your shadow, who took his silent plea and wrapped his hands around your shoulders and pulled you into his chest.
He didn’t know you could scream like that.
The days immediately after the funeral are the worst. You sit in the kitchen chair where you woodenly placed yourself after returning from the graveyard. Your eyes stare into the air in the space in front of you, unfocused and unseeing.
The kitchen hurts the most.
This was where you had so many family dinners, first with your messy baby in her high chair, a headstrong toddler demanding her own utensils, a gap-toothed child rolling her eyes at her parent’s sneaking kisses over lasagna, a moody pre-teen who insisted that she be allowed to go to base with Simon, a teenager too pretty for her own good asking her father about his time spent in the field.
You knew it was a matter of time. She took after her father more than you. When you argued with her, it was like staring into your husband’s face. Quiet determination and a total lack of regard for anything except their motives.
At 18, she enlisted. She laughed at your worried frown as her father clapped her on the back and shook her hand, “Welcome, Recruit.”
Her training with the SAS was supplemented by her father, making her truly a force to be reckoned with when put against her fellow recruits. She began bragging to you on her phone calls home, telling you all about how she planted the men flat on their asses in sparring!
Then she was no longer a recruit, but a fully enlisted member being sent onto missions with real gunfire and real danger.
You had never been one quick to prayer, even when Simon was in the service but that changed when your daughter started getting sent all over the globe in order to serve her country, until she makes one final journey home.
Simon stops eating at the table. He can’t bear to watch you sit there, eyes staring into nothing. Any words his mouth could form wouldn’t fix this. How he groomed your daughter for military duty from the cradle. Which of those trips to base was the one that had lit the spark that destined her for service? Was it one too many war stories told to her in the cradle when he was explaining where he had been? Why he hadn’t heard her first words, but that he was here now and ready to hear her talk his ear off.
You start to slowly leave the kitchen table: Perching yourself on the sofa in the living room, watching the corner she usually sat in.
Simon stops sitting in his recliner, opting instead for his office. He can’t watch you stare at the empty seat even if he had been doing the same.
It comes to a head nearly a month after her burial.
“Why can’t you look at me Simon!”
His head whips around, you hadn’t spoken much for weeks and now you were yelling at him, just this side of hysteria.
“I lost my daughter and now my husband can’t even look at me! I’m hurting Simon! I never wanted her to enlist, but you had to play war hero! You always had to be her hero and now she’s gone Si! She’s gone and I’m losing you at the same time!” Your tears are overflowing now, you’re swiping at your eyes and trying to not let them travel down your cheeks in a losing battle.
Simon’s mouth is agape, “Dove, I-”
“Don’t ‘Dove’ me! You haven’t talked to me Simon! You haven’t held me! You haven’t tried to tell me it’ll be ok and that we’ll get through this! We haven’t even slept in the same fucking bed together Simon!”
He had hoped you wouldn’t notice how he had opted for the uncomfortable loveseat hidden in his office. He had hoped you were too lost in your thoughts and grief to notice.
“Simon I can’t do this with you if you won’t help me. I need a break. I’m living with two ghosts now.”
#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#cod fanfic#simon riley#grave writes
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I have no idea how un/popular of a thought this is since I’m so many years late to reading it, and it hasn’t been animated yet for the anime crowd either, but I think this conversation has had a bigger impact on me than the much lauded monster speech by kita
Though I guess in this case I’d have to say I’m probably much more like tenma than I could ever be like hoshiumi
Hold on I need to go back a couple chapters and talk about something
#Hoshiumi and oikawa have that drive to make up for their deficits that makes them scary which I never really had#Like I played flute so well in 6th grade the teacher gave me the honor of#Having a solo (duet w someone on another instrument) moment during a concert#Despite it usually being reserved for “advanced” players and that being the first year I’d started playing flute#Then I played for 1 more year in middle school but didn’t want to be seen as a nerd and stopped by 8th grade#Despite still loving music#Being the “artist” friend up through middle school then having another friend in high school who was better skilled than me#Despite not showing that strong an inclination towards it (she had more ‘proper’ practice growing up which was why she was so skilled)#Much less forget college I know comparing is the devils thought or whatever but I was always middle of the road in any class at best#Being athletic but not knowing how to join a school team not knowing who to ask no resources#Being athletic that I was always one of the first “girls” to finish running the mile but I wasn’t ever on the track team or anything#I gave my all for the volleyball team tryouts but didn’t make that either#I was good at math and enjoyed physics but that didn’t lead to anything either#“The world is utterly unfair but fair” in starting things earlier or later in life or being more or less naturally inclined towards doing#something or genetics deciding whether you’ll be tall or short or flexible or not left or right handed slow or fast metabolism etc etc etc#anyways this takes my number 1 spot but number 2 is oikawa’s “talent is something you make bloom; instinct is something you polish”#3 is kita’s speech#though I guess it’s more like the first two are tied as most impactful and then supplemented by the third
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