#so she doesn't really mind
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do the little ghosts following Shizuku like Airi
clearly airi is also unbothered with the ghosts bc they dont really do much but follow shizukus order
#airi can vaguely sense/see the ghost but she knows the ghost wont bother her#unless shizuku tells them to anyways#so she doesn't really mind#shzaiau#i kind of dont want to flood the tag so this stays as the shzaiau tag by itself. so long fellas
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Star Trek: Voyager Gravity // Juggernaut
Emotions can be a powerful tool. To deny their existence is illogical. But you must learn to control them. // The flame, like emotion, is a primitive force. Left unchecked, it's chaotic, destructive. But if controlled it can be a powerful tool.
#trekedit#voyageredit#voy#tuvok#b'elanna torres#so my theory for the juggernaut debacle is that tuvok's approach was to hand down his own training to b'elanna beat by beat#but he really misjudged both timing and tone and b'elanna's state of mind as well#his own teenage rebellion was coming from a difference source than b'elanna's long-unhealed wounds#he thinks she's unwilling to rein herself in the same way *he* was unwilling but it's not#so he tries to 'explain' b'elanna's issues but he doesn't get why she would react so strongly to his provocation#while b'elanna is irritated by tuvok being perfectly vulcan while she can never be perfectly klingon (or human for that matter)
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Hoshiguma offers a snack for these trying times
#Hoshiguma pulled in at second place so here we go!#the snack is supposed to be tacos#I literally could not get that hulk meme out of my mind for some reason so it is brought into reality here#Also I know she doesn't really look like that but I also don't really care lol Hope y'all enjoy the buffness#arknights#pixel art#digital art#artists on tumblr#hoshiguma#oni#buff#I also realize I seem to be using a lot of pink/blue these days and idk why. Just can't seem to shake it :P
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A beautiful friend of mine has finally stepped out of the closet as a radiant she/her. Score one for women, huzzah, we have another win for women! ... And now I am even more frustrated with my college workload lol. It was bad enough being behind on reading & archiving in general, but to be busy when I ought to be getting a friend resources and examples of people like herself by the dozen???
#i am getting her a card#she has an appt for hrt on monday and i am so thrilled#the closet has been glass for 20 some years but you know what it doesn't matter#she's really happy and excited to proceed and the joy i see in her is so incredibly beautiful#after so long of seeing her be painfully nervous 😭😭#hmm. maybe i should also make a cake ....#archivist talk#don't mind me
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Tuvok Voice: You are her official right hand while I have been making detailed psychological observations about her for the past four years - we are not the same.
[Patreon | Ko-fi]
#love early seasons Tuvok where he really goes hard on hissing at Chakotay like '/I/ know her best. She trusts /ME/ the most'#wish they had a whole episode about the three of them and their dynamic. REAAAALLY I wish there was a whole multi-episode arc about it#Tuvok#Kathryn Janeway#I didn't wanna draw any particular uniform bc I don't really care when precisely they were ensigns#and the show doesn't either (Janeway has known Tuvok 6 or 20 years)#the starfleet uniform changes so much anyway <3 I don't mind - it's fun#st voyager#voy#st voy#star trek voyager#this can be ship art if you believe#bea art tag#there is SOMETHING going on between them#Tuvok has a file somewhere that's just FOUR + /YEARS/ of observations on Janeway#I need you to understand - at the time of him saying this they have not been in the delta quadrant for four years. He was doing this BEFORE
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percy needs to be haunted by bianca's ghost more
#percy jackson#bianca di angelo#she doesn't even have to do it herself#he is just trapped in the horror of watching someone die and never recovering from the guilt that follows#like i thin we should talk more about how she was the first permanent death of the series and the first death he really witnessed#i think he should be more deranged by it tbh#painfully devoted to nico's health and happiness in a way that skips the border of unhealthy and jumps straight into fucked up#even better if bianca doesn't care. and nico has moved on. so the only person who is stuck in this void of misery about it is percy#and he can't emerge. no matter what he does no matter the time that passes she is always there in the back of his mind#a reminder of the first time he failed to protect someone else.#a reminder of his selfishness. his inability to follow through on promises. of his powerlessness. his uselessness.#in tbotl he finds out that nico doesn't care about him or his soul. he doesn't want percy dead. and percy is weirdly gutted by this#he needs nico to hate him and it freaks him out that nico doesn't. he's clearly upset but percy isn't centered in it the way you'd think.#nico has his own mission and percy is barely a side note in it and he's so bothered by that. it drives him up the wall#how selfish is it to be upset with someone for not hating you because you got their sister killed?#he hates himself so much. he wants to die so bad. but he can't. he has to keep going. for nico. for bianca. he doesn't have a choice#happy talks pjo#okay it is 3:36am and i am. going to try to sleep now
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I love this scene a lot and it lives in my head rent-free. I can't really think of another way to interpret it other than that this is elle telling reid that the reason he can't get a date isn't because of something wrong with him that he needs to change but simply because he doesn't ask people out (or, more broadly, lacks confidence).
I have seen some spencelle shippers read this as elle saying "hey. ask me out" but i disagree, not because i don't ship spencelle (i sort of do, elaboration in the notes) but for the following reasons:
I think elle would have realised very early on that if she was going to wait for reid to ask her out, she would be waiting years
i don't think she gives enough of a fuck about gender roles to wait for The Man to ask her out
she generally seems confident
i lean more towards her being very new to the BAU in the early episodes. I don't recall right now if there's an official anti-fraternization policy or if that's a fanfiction trope, but even if there isn't, entering a relationship with a coworker that early on is an easy way to mess up her career.
i think she was waiting until she was more established to start anything, but then, well, everything happened, and she left before becoming established enough to feel comfortable taking a risk like that
#anyway: i do ship spencelle#but not as a relationship exactly#if that makes sense#i think there were mutual feelings and i think something may have happened in that hotel room#i like to think that they remained friends after elle left and i flipflop on whether that friendship has any “benefits”#as for something possibly happening in that hotel room: reid thinks it's the start of something#but elle is only doing it because she knows deep down she's leaving soon and so it doesn't matter if she jeopardizes her career#reid only realises what really happened when elle quits and feels guilty he didn't realise something was wrong for a long time#*punches spencelle shippers in the gut* you're welcome! <3#spencelle#spencer reid#elle greenaway#character analysis#scene analysis#sort of?#criminal minds#not fic#criminal minds rewatch#criminal minds s01e04#plain sight#criminal minds 1x4
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga is–#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes of–#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and her–#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I mean‚ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joy–#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the “proving my strength against–#myself” narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity that–#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw and–#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (╥﹏╥) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Also‚‚‚‚‚ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily on–#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the belief–#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we really–#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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Tbh i am not surprised that a person who openly talked about having drinking problems since 1d days, because of how crazy 1d worked has been agressive. What surprises me is people being surprised (they never seriously saw drunk person?). But i am also confused about this whole book. Apparently Maya said that that book is not fully bout Liam but compilation about her exes and some of the worst parts are not about him. But recently she said that the book is “ofc about him” so what is true then? Or did she meant it that ofc some parts are about him or that whole book is about him?
Sorry, just confused
I also am not surprised- we've learned so much more about the real stories of things and about the guys' actual lives over the last years, and the story that has unfolded around Liam has been totally consistent throughout if you've been following it, and so the information Maya is telling us is shocking and upsetting but not difficult to believe. I got an anon yesterday saying they were worried about getting similar revelations about the other boys, like "if Liam could be doing this we just don't know, any of them could", and while in a way that's always true I guess, anyone could be doing anything in private like... that doesn't really concern me. Because none of these Liam revelations are coming out of nowhere, there have been many MANY steps along the way leading us here if you've been watching, and he has talked openly about both his mental health struggles and his addiction issues. So to answer that anon... to find out something similar about Louis would in contrast contradict everything we know about him and no I'm not worried about it. Is he probably very irritating, absolutely, but an abuser or a loose cannon, well that news would shock me. But anyway as for the book I don't find it strange that she was nervous when it came out and treading lightly and later decided, fuck it. In the absolutely on point tiktok she dropped today (YES👏GIRL👏FUCKING TELL THEM👏) she even mentions attempts to keep her from publishing the book, presumably by Liam's team, that I am riveted by and cannot WAIT to hear more details about actually- like I said I don't find it at all strange that she was nervous and downplayed it a bit then. But if she says now that it's just about Liam, well, I would say it's been clear from the beginning that the book is their story. Maya herself brought up the parallel of songs being written about stuff and I think it's the same thing; it's true (she was in an abusive relationship that involved certain kinds of events) but maybe not 100% literal (I'm sure details were changed to make the story work, it's not like a word for word timeline of their interactions or whatever).
#maya henry#blah blah blah#re the tiktok also lmaoooo are people really saying she wants money her family IS RICH like RICH RICH#but hot damn the part about enabling UH HUH !!!!!#yep yep yep#in terms of the other guys and what would shock me... well obviously we know Zayn has also had a history of agression#and we know WAY too much about him being pushy about sex lol#I would not be shocked to hear he crossed a line... but think he's probably just a bit of a fuckboy#I absolutely do not trust Niall behind closed doors but the songs we have about him seem to tell a pretty consistent story;#self absorbed but basically harmless#harry... who tf knows what he is like outside of being with Louis but I would be shocked to hear of him being aggressive yeah#I have a lot of issues with him but taking advantage of people or being pushy are not even on the radar#and as for Louis... like I said yeah it WOULD shock me. I don't just love him because he has a nice face!#it's BECAUSE of the ways we do know him and know what he's like. because of his tenderness and care#and his consistent kindness and love#and his openness about his private side#so yeah- it would shock the hell out of me it really would#but then I think that anon also was worried about eleanor spiling smth about their relationship so we are not coming from the same place#my kneejerk response was I'm sure he paid her on time what else are you worried about lol#although out of everyone if someone was going to say he lashed out at them I suppose it would be her#it was probably one of the most difficult and frought relationships in his life#and one that he did not want#so! but still no it doesn't worry me#tbh there was one thing in mayas video today that did surprise me which was the premeditation#Liam actually planning using the fans against people and sneaking around doing stuff#I guess even believing everythign I had chosen to paint a picture in my mind of someone who was still#basically unaware of the wrong they were doing and more flailing than plotting#and that shakes me a little. and makes me very unhappy to hear#liam discourse
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they were so insane for having house play "hugh laurie's cuddy's serenade" bookending "you can't always get what you want" as cuddy held her party with everyone else and their mother attending AND having her open the door only to drop her smile when it wasn't house. she really said "i DON'T want you there" and got upset when he didn't come. they drive me insane
#amethyst.txt#that scene honestly haunts me#there's just so much to say about it. doomed love. house never really being on the same page as her#house only second guesses himself around wilson and cuddy. when an instruction is given in earnest he will listen#he'll do that soft “okay.” and Listen. no games#how cuddy Constantly proves that she doesn't trust him. tricking him about thanksgiving. playing mind games about this baby party#trying to get him not to interfere with arlene. showing up the night she almost died to get pissed at his addiction#like there's something so monumentally human about it. under all the games the tricks the hate#its hyperbole from the start to the end but it boils down to something so kind and soft and gentle#cee's house rambles#<- cee isn't fronting but im not making a new tag and the subsys is cosmic cluster anyway so the cee isn't that far off#house md
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my ♀Neloth 🤗 she is supposed to look like one of those 'crazy and wise old lady' magicians from children's media. she grew her hair out to the point of it looking like bramble, she's not taking that good care of it, so it probably has morrowind wildlife festering in it (that she carried over to solstheim). she has the attached permanent herbs && old person smell on her that are covered by intense fragrance oils. she grows her hair out because it makes her look younger, even though it is grey. she's really into flex culture and primo jewelry to show status and make her stand out from the poors. she has all of the good things in life and the only thing wrong is the untreated NPD and pms-ing. regular neloth only deals with the former
#she wears gloves most of the time because she doesn't like her elderly hands#my art#since neloth himself isn't really a character and more like a stereotype or just comedic relief that is what she is#ik a lot of people like to think of neloth as a wearer of jewelry since he does that in m*rrowflop but i don;t because i love to apply -#- real life societal norms or stereotypes on everyone's minds. i think neloth Thinks it's gay#so in turn his love of jewelry comes through in female neloth#at some point she will think divine powers are speaking to her and be eligible for a psychosis diagnosis but it's actually the rats in -#- her hair making conversation thjat she thinks is actual understandable language (Na na's hearing isn't what it used to be)
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Chapter 6 checkup (The text on Vertin says "Alive but gay" btw)
Inspo (also spoilers for Madoka Magica and Ninjago lmao):
(Fyi, I didn't know how to do the gray out thing so the black text is supposed to stand in for that)
Up to date version of this image with chapter 7 spoilers below the cut
#n talks about shit#massive spoiler warning for 1.9 in the tags (putting this here so it doesn't get buried by the character tags)#reverse 1999#vertin#sonetto#regulus#reverse 1999 apple#schneider#sotheby#reverse 1999 x#matilda bouanich#madam z#reverse 1999 37#reverse 1999 sophia#reverse 1999 lucy#kakania#arcana#isolde and marcus along with 6 and 210 aren't in the post because i couldn't find a cg with everyone in it#but they'd be 'alive but gay' 'alive' 'alive' and 'dead' respectively and in that order#they're all gay to me lmao but just suspend your belief for a bit okay#also i personally don't think arcana's really dead dead#because i don't think she'd just die like that without having some scheme or plan in mind and this death just felt weirdly anticlimactic#especially for somebody as major and powerful as she is#and also because we never got see her death on screen unlike that of schneider's or greta's lmao
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Criminal Minds Evolution 17x05 - Conspiracy vs Theory
Luke: You gave a secret message to Damien right in front of us. Rebecca: How? Luke: That little tap-tap-tapping he was doing on the desk as they were talking was Morse code.
#tv: criminal minds#criminal minds evolution#criminal minds 17x05#emily prentiss#criminalmindsedit#penelope garcia#elias voit#rebecca wells#paget brewster#david rossi#my edit#i love how casually emily decoded the morse code#because people forget a) she used to be a spy#b) she's actually really smart#she might not be reid level genius but she#is also damned smart#and also i love that she allowed voit to contact damian#so not to tip her hand and see what sort of message#was passed on#also that ability to take risks#emily the spy#skills are always working#on this case hotch begins to suffer from#headaches he doesn't know why#but he feels its because of emily and rossi#*somehow*
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How did Hilda sleep comfortably with a ponytail every night 'cause any time I try to it feels like I'm lying down with a rock pressed behind my head it's just tricky to fall asleep with hair tied back like hers
#(fell asleep with a ponytail on today and didnt feel right hence i'm posting about it sdfgdsw)#i guess 'cause she just slept on her side most of the time#and that really was just what she was comfy with anyway#but even then on my end i feel like i have to lie down on my back at some point when trying to fall asleep so#and like her braids in S3 look much more comfy i wish my hair was long enough again to try that sdfgsdw#or is this just a me-thing and everyone else doesn't mind sleeping or lying down with their hair tied to the back??#hilda the series#hilda#hilda netflix#bonnie talks
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i have... ✨Danyal Al Ghul Headcanons✨ but specifically for my yaelokre danyal oneshot
There's also the tumblr post here but I recommend the link in the title because its the ao3 version, and that one is edited and has some stuff in it that's not in the tumblr post, and will be the version I'm using.
So for summary: this Danyal is also from a Demon Siblings Au where Danny is five years older than Damian. However, things turned out a bit differently, and Danny and Damian had a fantastic relationship with one another. Danny loved music and regularly came up with songs to sing to Damian with. Specifically the folk band Yaelokre's EP "Hayfields" (seriously go fucking listen to it its sooo good. Harpy Hare is the second song but its my favorite. Special shoutout to @gascansposts for introducing the band to me)
He falls off a train when he's twelve and Damian is seven while the two of them and Talia are on mission. He ends up with magically induced amnesia and wakes up in Arkansas while the Fentons are on their yearly Divorce-iversary visit to Aunt Alica, and since he can only remember his name, he ends up being taken into their care.
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Yaelokre Danny has the same facial scar as Things in Threes Danyal, since he was initially another version of him where things turned out better. I'm debating on whether or not I should take it away however, and give him a different scar (maybe from when he fell off the train?), just because the scar is a pretty key identifier for Ti3 Danyal.
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Danny frequently visits Aunt Alicia in Arkansas! Well, only after he gets settled in and stuff. He doesn't really like the city that much and prefers the countryside where Alicia lives. I know she lives in a cabin but I'm changing it to a farm, so she puts Danny to work and gets him to help her.
I don't want to confine his hobbies to only being star stuff, because people tend to have more than one hobby and I feel like it reduces him to one-dimensionality, so he likes to garden, and learns guitar. His room becomes filled with plants, and he turns their roof into a rooftop greenhouse right below to OPS Center.
He has a complex relationship with the weapons from his past, but he's not... like... appalled by it? When he finds his weapons in the Fenton attic all he thinks is that they're his weapons, and he starts carrying a knife on him afterwards. Essentially he becomes fascinated with weaponry because its one of the few physical ties he has to his past, and while he's not training like he is in the League, he allows his strong muscle memory to guide him through his katas.
Danny likes climbing things. This causes Problems For Everyone Else.
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Danny was not the "kinder Al Ghul" in the League. His kindness extended to his brother and family, and that's it. To everyone else he had high expectations out of them, and the pride you'd expect from the grandson of Ra's Al Ghul and trained by its top members. While he wasn't like, unnecessarily cruel or anything, he wasn't merciful either.
This transfers post-train fall as him coming off as no-nonsense and unforgiving. He's not fond of the idea of giving people second chances, and is skeptical of the idea. He's disgusted by incompetency and views it as an unforgivable offense, especially if he thinks that the person should know better, although he's not sure why. Some egocentrism for the soul.
He doesn't like being touched by anyone who isn't family, and gets irritated when anyone grabs him or holds onto him for extended amounts of time. Dash has gotten hit so many times. With Jack Fenton's tendency for abrupt physical affection, it doesn't make it any better. I'd argue it'd make it worse because Danny doesn't want to be touched more often than not.
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Danyal had a red scarf in the League that he wore on his last mission, it came off before he fell off and caught itself on the roof. Damian still has it and took it with him to Wayne Manor. He's got it locked in his room and takes it out when he's alone and missing Danny the most. One time he forgot to put it away before leaving his room, and Dick was visiting the manor for something and found it. Damian found him holding it and freaked out.
Dick could only say "I've never seen you wear this, Damian, this is really pretty--" before Damian shoved him to the floor and stole it out of his hands, before screaming at him; "Don't touch this! You don't ever touch this! This is mine! You hear me!?"
It caused such a commotion that the rest of the family present came to see what the fuss was about, and Damian kicked them all out of his room. Dick is the one brother Damian's the closest with, so the fact he reacted so strongly shocked them all.
This is likely what leads to the "Danyal" conversation.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#yaelokre danny#yaelokre danyal al ghul#the yaelokre danny post didn't really go into him interacting with other people but i'm trying to figure out his personality post amnesia#just know this: he's not canon danny. im spitefully refusing to make him a Cookie Cutter of canon danny because the idea pisses me off lmao#he's complex and confused and morally gray even with the amnesia bc memories aren't stored in one part of the brain they're stored#in different parts depending on the memory and muscle memory exists and danny might not actively remember the things that shaped him but hi#body does. and somewhere deep in his mind so does his brain. his memories weren't destroyed theyre locked away in a place where his active#conscious can't reach. plus its magic amnesia and i have comic AND cartoon realism on my side.#danny's personality from the league doesn't get challenged that much by the fentons because danny's learning this about himself just as muc#as they are. Jazz can't “Fix” what's wrong with him when neither of them know it and Danny is always the first to figure it out and then#keeps it to himself. Also. Jazz has a fucking life? she's not the family therapist she has friends and hobbies even if we the viewers don't#see it. But also i just really deeply despise the idea that Jazz “fixes” danny's league issues just by existing and being the therapist#because it waters her down into a one-dimensional character who only exists in the context of providing emotional support and life advice t#danny. also therapy only works on someone that's actively trying to change. otherwise its just psychoanalyzing and people tend to hate#being psychoanalyzed without consent. which as a result may have them refuse help. anyways point is: i believe that growth is slow and#complex and danny would hide a lot of the stuff he discovers about himself because if there's one thing he still retains from being an#assassin. it's how to hide. he likes jazz but there are some things you just hide from people.#damian also told dick to “keep his filthy hands off his things”. which was also a shock because it sounded something he'd say more to tim#damian was distraught the entire time.#okay thats all i have for now.
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Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.
G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.
An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........
#the unwanted guest#the unwanted guest spoilers#the locked tomb#ianthe tridentarius#augustine the first#pyrrha dve#palamedes sextus#this series is going to make me lose my mind completely one day (affectionate)#the locked tomb meta#the fact that ianthe seems to have had some genuine admiration for augustine makes my head spin. of course though.#of course she sees the person who looks the most like he's successfully made himself impervious to the world#utterly untouchable and impossible to hurt because he isn't even really there#and she believes it! even after seeing the john mercy augustine mess at the end! because it's such a seductive idea#when you've stuck yourself in an inevitable ocean of pain to think you could make yourself numb enough that it doesn't matter#it's the emotional equivalent of 'oh there's water all around? well I just won't breathe in then. easy lmao get on my level'#she holds on to that thing from him even when it's been proved to be both impossible and ultimately untrue even in him#because uh. oh I'm about to be kind of sad for ianthe what the fuck is going on. he might actually have been the closest thing#to parental and especially paternal affection she's ever known. certainly known enough to try to model herself after#IMAGINE how fucked up the nine houses must be when augustine the first registers for anyone as a model of psychological survival#ianthe do you really want to be yourself completely so much that you're willing to be nothing. I mean yeah probably but. oh my god#gaining nothing at the cost of everything
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