#but even then on my end i feel like i have to lie down on my back at some point when trying to fall asleep so

[writing-girlie]

Just for tonight

Pairing: Jack Abbot x Fem!Reader

Blurb: When Jack finds you sitting around after shift he doesn’t ask you to explain, just offers a drink and a moment of quiet. No expectations, no pressure.

WC: 1k

Warnings: [Soft] smut, unprotected sex, I think thats all?

Notes: I don't know where this came from. I can't stop writing for this man.

You had reached the end of another shift. This had been your life for a few years now and you loved it but it was a lot. You’re hunched over on the bench, elbows to knees, staring down at your fidgeting hands. Jack stops walking when he sees you.

“Your shift ended nearly half an hour ago.”

You exhale a slow breath, “Yeah. I know.”

“Rough day.” Jack leans against the wall across from you, arms crossed. You let out a soft, dry laugh.

He stays quiet. You finally glance up. There’s no sharpness in your voice, just tired honesty.

"I just needed to sit for a moment. Breathe before I go home like this. I didn’t want to bring it with me.”

“Most of them are. I just want something that feels good. Something real, even if it’s just for a night.” You shake your head, embarrassed by the words as soon as they leave your mouth. “It’s stupid. I know. This isn’t exactly the job for comfort.”

Jack looks at you for a long time, like he understands exactly what you mean.

“No,” he says finally. “It’s not stupid.”

You blink up at him.

“Come to my place, just for a bit. We’ll have a drink. Sit down. You can breathe.”

You nod.

The drive to his place is quiet but not uncomfortable. When he opens the door you follow him to the living room. His apartment is calming, lived in but organised.

“I’ll get you a drink” he says, his voice quieter now.

You nod, sinking into the couch. You let your head fall back and close your eyes. Jack’s footsteps softly echo to the kitchen and back again. When you open your eyes, he’s holding out a glass of whisky.

“Thanks.” He sits down, not too close, not too far. You both take a sip.

“I didn’t mean to come off desperate earlier.”

“You didn’t.” He’s quick to reassure you.

You exhale, eyes still forward. “I just- I go home, force down a bite of something, I barely sleep, and when I do stop moving, I feel like I’m going to break.”

“You don’t have to keep doing it alone.” He softly says.

“You say that like it’s simple.”

“It’s not,” he agrees, glancing your way now. “But neither is walking around with all that weight and nowhere to put it.”

You hold his gaze for a second too long. Then you both look away at the same time. You place your drink on the side table to stop yourself from taking constant sips just because you don't know what to say.

When your eyes meet again, it’s different. You both lean in at the same time, your lips meeting in the middle. It’s not what either of you expected when you agreed to come over. You feel his hand come up, settle against the side of your face, thumb brushing your cheek, and when you pull back just slightly, your forehead rests against his. You don’t say anything. Neither does he, but he knows what to do next.

He gets up, places his drink down, and reaches for your hand. When you take it, he leads you down the hallway to his bedroom. You just stand for a moment, fingers laced in his. He reaches for the hem of your shirt slowly; he moves with care, giving you every chance to pull back, but you don’t. You lift your arms, letting him pull the shirt over your head.

You do the same for him. Your eyes trace over his well-built frame, the freckles that are speckled over his shoulders, and the soft rise and fall of his chest. Piece by piece you undress each other; nothing is rushed. You both know that this is about feeling something real and grounding.

Jack guides you back a few steps. When you lie back on the bed, Jack follows, bracing himself over you. He presses a kiss to your shoulder, then over your collarbone. With the soft kisses, he reaches down and lines his hard length with your pussy. He pushes inside inch by inch, filling you completely, your arms wrap around his back, and your nails softly trace over his skin.

You both stay still, just embracing how you feel until you whisper his name. He starts to move, setting a gentle rhythm. You can feel every part of him, and for the first time in weeks, you don’t feel like you’ll break. You lift your head to kiss him again, and your hand then naturally finds rest in his hair. His pace never falters or speeds up. It feels like he’s trying to remind you that you’re still worthy of softness.

The space is filled with the sound of shared breaths and a quiet creak of the bed. His eyes meet yours again, and something about it makes your heart beat faster. You move one of your hands from his back to besides your head to hold his hand. He holds your hand, gently squeezing it.

Your legs wrap around his waist, holding him closer as you feel yourself get closer to the end of this moment. Your voice is barely a whisper.

“Don’t stop.”

Jack's hand tightens around yours briefly, silently telling you that he won't stop. He rests his forehead against yours, your breath mingling. He lets go of your hand and slips it beneath your back, holding you closer.

“I’ve got you,” he whispers, his voice husky, and that’s when you feel yourself slipping, unravelling into the safety of his arms.

Your breath hitches as you reach the peak, and soft moans follow. It hits you gently, like rolling waves, and it leaves you trembling, your body pulsing around him. You nod at him, and mumble a please. You feel Jack's body tense as he fills you up. He buries his face into the crook of your neck.

After a moment he lifts his head and presses a kiss to your lips. He rolls onto his side, pulling you with him. You snuggle into his embrace, your head resting on his chest, his arms wrapped around you. You listen to his heartbeat with the sound of the city as background noise.

In that silence it’s just him and you, and the quiet realisation that maybe this isn’t just a one-night escape.

[vicolette]

Five Minutes !

– A/N : sighh school started☹️

– Warnings : English isn’t my first language, mentions of y/n & pet names, mentions of obsession, jealousy, slightlyyyy suggestive, child neglect(?)

"You don’t have to go, my love…"

You turned around to face your boyfriend, who was laying on his bed after a long and exhausting day. It has been hours since you have first arrived at his place and your parents must be worried sick about you, so you have sent them a message that you'd arrive.

However, you knew that it was all a lie. Your parents were never home and didn’t even know that you have left the place, so you could just stay. Stay, where you were loved and adored.

"Pau, my parents are waiting." As you sugarcoated the actual situation, completely leaving out the fact that nobody was even at home to begin with, Pau only opened an eye to see where you stood.

A scowl grew on his face as he reluctantly sat up, which made you think that he would just hug you one last time and that would have been the end of it. So, as you watched him stand up from his position and tower over you, his arms open for you, it didn’t take you long to rush into his arms.

The hug was none that you haven’t experienced from him, as it was full of affection and love. Nonetheless, you couldn’t help but feel odd about it, as if it was slightly different from the ones he would usually give you.

"We haven’t seen each other in so long though…" His voice was quiet, almost inaudible, as though he had just woken up from a deep slumber. Soon enough, you left his fingertips reach for the hem of your shirt, loosening it up as he lowered his head. "… can’t you stay for five more minutes?"

You sighed in defeat, feeling moved by his words, yet you knew that he would probably take longer than just five more minutes. Even so, you pulled away from him just to see his face, a small smile gracing your lips. "Alright, you big baby."

And that was all, that Pau needed.

Somehow, somewhat, you felt his nails dig into your skin as he kissed your shoulder, lining up kisses towards your neck and onto the other side. You'd be lying if you didn’t say you felt good like this, like he was merely focused on you.

Pau was a silly boy, your silly boy, but even his actions could surprise you. It should have been second nature to you – to be shocked by how he tackles his opponents while having the most innocent looking face, to make sure that he wouldn’t get hurt by the others – and yet still, you had thought that he had shown his true colors towards you.

"Y/n, have I ever told you how I loved this top?" He randomly had said, as if your whole body wasn’t shaking because of the intensity in his actions. Green eyes met yours and your knees felt weak at that, which gave him the opportunity to sit back down and enjoy seeing you like this, to enjoy you.

"But I think you look better without it."

Your heart dropped just like your head as you straddled his lap, hands on his shoulders as you passionately kissed him back with your eyes closed. Meanwhile, Pau had stolen your phone to text your mother, just to see that she had left you on delivered, since you haven’t sent a message to begin with.

This made him narrow his eyes as he placed it on the nightstand nearby and shrugged his shoulders, dismissing his confusion when he felt your fingers in his hair. Once you had lightly pushed him away to get some air, he whined at the loss of your lips and leaned in closer.

The teenager laid down on the bed with you on top of him, your chests against one another as you tried to catch your breath. Pau didn’t have any troubles since he was used to running out of air and already had great stamina, so he just waited.

However, when he felt you pull away from him, pull away from his love, just to return in a place of emptiness and pity, he groaned in frustration. When would you realize that he had you trapped in his arms, where you actually could feel secured without being judged?

For a second, the room was completely silent as you stared down at him with wide eyes, whereas his were tired and on the verge of closing and falling asleep. Pau threw his head back, feeling obsessed with the way you were looking at him, even if it made him jealous how your family had your attention instead of he.

You parted your lips to speak up, yet it took you an incredible amount of courage to voice your worries out, feeling his nails dig into your skin to leave something of his behind for you to take.

"Pau, my love, I need to go."

"Five more minutes, please."

– A/N : I have homework 💔

[inkdrinkerworld]

i feel like a good staple angsty topic is safety

homegirl went on a walk and forgot her phone cuz she’s stressed af and life sucks, matt is pissed cue the fight and then cue the “silent treatment”, cue the tears, and then cue the lovey dovey cuddle apology love making

Omg nonnie, I love you thank you sm for this💛 mention potential death because Matt’s a touch dramatic

You’d had a shitty day and you’d just wanted to relax. You’d just needed a minute to decompress, to forget about how bad your day had been.

So what if you wanted to take a walk? You just needed to forget all of the stress. You found a spot in the park and just laid under a tree, watching the sky and the clouds that passed by.

You’d only realised how late it was when you say the pink in the sky. You hustle home, imagining how worried Matt is. Your phone had died as you’d sat in the park.

The second the door opens Matt freezes and so do you. “Where the hell have you been?”

You bristle, “In the park. I’d just went for a walk and the evening got away from me. My phone died, I’m sorry if I worried you.”

That calm that you’d felt in the park is gone when Matt slams his hand down on the kitchen island. You struggle not to jolt at the sound.

“You’ve been gone for hours, no one saw you. I’ve been blowing your phone up since you got off work.”

Your hackles are raising again, “Matt, I just said my phone died. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I just wanted to take a walk after work.”

He’s not letting it go. “Do you understand how irresponsible that was? Anything could’ve happened to you! We live in Hell’s Kitchen, for gods sake.”

You can’t help it. You feel like he’s backing you into a corner, “Nothing did Matt! You can take a breath knowing you won’t have to avenge my death by sinning your soul away. I said I was sorry, what more do you want?”

Matt, ever the lawyer can’t back away from an argument. “Some accountability would be nice.”

“What more fucking accountability do you need? My phone died, I’m sorry you were worried.”

You don’t hear the rest of what he says, he just goes on and on about the possibility of having to find out you were hurt, or dead.

So much for getting a little break from your stressful day.

“Matt, I understand you’re upset but it’s enough now. I’m not a child and you’re not my father. I don’t need to be scolded repeatedly after I’ve already apologized.”

All he mutters is, “Fine.”

For the next two days, you’re both walking around on egg shells. Matt doesn’t speak to you, doesn’t initiate conversation and doesn’t answer when you ask him anything, so you just stop talking.

You go to work and come home and you and Matt act like you’re roommates who don’t know each other.

You won’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt your feelings, you’ve never done well with the silent treatment, but if Matt doesn’t want to talk, you won’t force him.

It’s not until the third night, when you can’t stand sleeping next to him but not have his leg over yours or have his hand on your back, that you take your pillow and start to get up.

“Sweetheart?” He shifts on the bed and you can’t help the way your breath shakes. You’re sure he can hear it.

“M’just going to the sofa.” You will yourself to keep your words even, but it’s no use, Matt can hear your heart. And it’s stuttering, skipping beats like crazy.

“Sweetheart, no.” He reaches for your wrist and you let him, touch starved for his affection.

“You’re still upset and it doesn’t feel good. I’m really sorry Matt but you’re being mean now.” Your voice cracks at the end and Matt feels guilt settle deep in his bones.

He scoops you up in his arms, straight into his lap as your first couple of tears fall. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs the words just beside your ear. “I’m sorry, baby.”

Your tears keep falling, fast and hot down your cheeks. “I really didn’t mean to worry you.” You hiccup through the words and Matt can practically feel how your heart clinches.

“I know, I know.” He’d been an ass. Even Foggy had told him so. You were safe and okay when you got home. You didn’t deserve the silent treatment.

“I’m sorry too sweetheart. I was pissed and I couldn’t regulate, so I just stayed quiet but that was stupid.” Matt squeezes his arms around you when you hiccup again. “I was really worried and scared and when you just came home I couldn’t let it go.”

“I came home as soon as I realized how long I’d been gone.” You say softly, your voice so small and timid. Matt hates that he’s made you feel like this.

“I know sweetheart.” He kisses your temple. “Forgive me for being an ass?”

You sigh, all jagged and harsh. “You can’t just not talk to me. I don’t like the silent treatment.”

He nods, “It won’t happen again.”

“I forgive you Matt. I’m still worry you were worried.”

He tuts, “I’d forgiven you since you walked through the door. I just didn’t know where to put all my worry.”

“I love you,” he murmurs, all quiet like a secret.

You stay in Matt’s lap, his arms wrapped around you as he settles you both back down in bed. Matt’s hand is housed to your back, rubbing soothing stripes up and down your back as your legs slot between his.

“I love you too Matt.”

[epelletea]

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

Showering with Pure Vanilla & Stardust !

A/n: I have brainrot of these two and it can only go up from here. Also my god there is like 0 Stardust cookie content. Gang what the flip!!!

Content Warnings : Nsfw + Suggestive Content near ends of both parts! Might be OOC for Stardust, but we live we love we lie 🙏💗

Pure Vanilla

When you bring up to him, he’s actually quite touch that you even ask to do something that’s so intimate and close with him.

For the first time, he’s quite bashful. He even looks away when you strip as if he hasn’t seen you naked before plenty of times. He’s even shy to strip in front of you.

Once in the shower together, he relishes in the close proximity. It’s quite nice. He helps you wash your body and even washes your hair if you are cleaning it that day.

He’s so red when you do the same to him. Your hands roaming his body as you wash him. He can’t help but be extremely flustered.

After the shower, he’s the first to exit to help you wrap into nice fluffy towel. Expect nice cuddles afterwards!

Now after the few other times, he’s much more comfortable now. He doesn’t look away anymore and isn’t as flustered. He sees it as a normal couple activity now.

If you’re in a mood and want to get intimate with him all you have to do is start kissing on him and he’ll get the memo.

You can lead or not. It’s really up to how you’re feeling.

If he’s leading, he’s very sensual and slow with you. Kissing your neck softly , as his hands reach to your lower regions. His fingers pumping in and out of you , until you cum all over his fingers. That’s when he’ll insert himself , his face snuggled into your neck as his soft moans fill your ears. Praising you for taking him so well. He goes at a slow pace , simply enjoying the feeling of being inside you until he can’t take the slowness anymore. He’ll thrust faster and messier until he finally cums.

He’ll kiss your forehead and laugh between ragged breaths.

“Looks like we’re gonna need to clean up again.”

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

Stardust

He’s actually the one that asked. He suggested the idea after looking up ways to be more intimate with your partner. He’s been in the stars for the majority of his life , can you blame him for not having a lot of knowledge on it.

He strips first with ease but his eyes cannot leave you as you strip as well next to him. You’re just so mesmerizing to him, everything you do. When you enter the shower together. He’s pretty awkward first. I won’t lie, you both kinda battle for the correct water temperature but soon agreed on something.

You suggest to help him wash up. He agrees but his breath keeps hitching in his throat every-time you touch him especially when your hands even roam lower and close down there.

He tilts his head at you when you look shock to see his hair wet. Yes it’s quite made out of magic and cosmos but it’s still hair and possible to get wet. Did you think it would go out or that something will happen?

He would immediately start assisting with helping you wash up after you finish with him. He’s very gentle almost as if you are very delicate item. He wants to make sure you are comfortable and most certainly cleaned.

Once you two , get out. He comically does the animal thing where they shake the water out of their fur, I guess in this case feathers. He doesn’t do it anymore after the glare you gave him. He wraps a towel around you and himself. The cuddle sesh was divine as he coddle up next you with his warmth.

Showering together him becomes a basic norm. To the point that if you are showering alone, there’s a guaranteed chance he’ll appear to join you. He cannot get enough of you at all.

He’s most definitely the one that usually initiates to be more intimate. His hands roaming over your body as he pulls you close to him , his cock poking behind you. His soft “Please..” and whimpers into your ear.

Once you given him consent, he already has you hoisted up against the shower wall. Messily yet greedily making out with you. His claws digging into your hips. He’s already lined himself up as he buries his cock into you. A hiss escaping his lips feeling you tighten around him. His thrusts are slow at first so you can adjust until he picks them up and he practically fucking you against the wall with your hands clawing at his back. He bites into your neck when he finishes , keeping himself inside just for a little bit longer loving the feeling of filling you up.

He officially lets go and cleans you up once more. When you two get out he carries you off into the bedroom since he accidentally took ur walk ability.. (again actually) to cuddle and rest afterwards.

“I got carried away again.. sorry..”

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

[baisemains]

Elements of Desire

Chapter 7: Revelations

single mom!sevika x fem!reader

word count: 7.8k

contains: bit of angst, fluff, alcohol, smoking, language, mention of past relationship trauma and cheating, tension..., also idk anything about poker but i tried my best 🙏

description: the truth about your past is finally revealed and you and sevika begin to move forward.

ao3 link | spotify playlist

previous // sevika masterlist

Sevika’s hand drops from her face, revealing eyes that now roam over your figure with a wary gaze.

“Everything ok?”

She looks at you expectantly and while you thought you were prepared for this conversation, there’s no way to predict how it will actually go.

You take a deep breath and decide to rip the band-aid off.

“I need to…tell you something. About what Vi said at dinner that day.”

Sevika’s expression immediately shifts to one of scrutiny as she raises an eyebrow at your bluntness.

“Okay.”

The two of you are only a few feet apart, but it suddenly feels like there are miles of space separating you as Sevika waits for you to continue, arms crossed over her chest. Her curt answer does nothing to quell your nerves but you push on, determined to see this through.

“Part of what she said was true. I was engaged, and it did end very messily, but because my fianceé cheated on me, not the other way around. I’m sure that’s what she told people to keep her reputation intact, but that’s not what happened.”

You watch the woman as you speak, her eyes slightly narrowing while she absorbs the information. Her stoic façade remains intact though, making it impossible to know how she’s taking it. As you’re talking, she continues to stare at you, your stomach twisting in knots as her gaze bores into you, searching for some sign of deception. The truth begins tumbling out and you couldn’t stop yourself even if you wanted to.

“One day a couple weeks before the wedding, I got an email from the planner pretty late, and I thought it was kind of weird, so I opened it.”

“It was,” you clear your throat to keep it from cracking, “a really long letter telling me that her and Gert were in love, and how she had been telling her for months that she was going to break off the engagement with me but she was waiting for the right time. The planner finally had enough and told me everything.”

Scoffing at how brazen the woman was, you continue.

“I emailed her back immediately saying she was lying and just trying to break up a happy home, and then she sent me screenshots and screen recordings of their conversations.”

At this point, your eyes are starting to water and Sevika looks concerned but doesn’t interrupt.

“Like that wasn’t bad enough, she sent me…pictures, of them together, over a year’s worth.”

The anger in your voice is apparent, your volume increasing as emotion starts to get the better of you. You don’t even notice how tight your fists have clenched until you try to take a breath to steady yourself. Sevika does notice though, her eyes drifting down to your shaking hands, before returning to your face.

“Turns out, she was having an affair with that bitch the entire time. They were already sleeping together before we even got engaged, but Gert had the balls to tell me they were old friends and hire her for our wedding.”

You’re suddenly overly aware of Sevika’s eyes on you, knowing that she’s analyzing every word and movement. She’s yet to say anything, the silence feeling like even longer than it actually is. You press on, knowing it’s too late to turn back now.

“I was a mess after that, I couldn’t even think straight, I locked myself in the guest bedroom and didn’t come out for hours. My friends kept calling, asking me if everything was okay, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell them.”

Wiping a tear away, you look down at your feet, willing yourself not to cry.

“I confronted her with the evidence, and she didn’t even deny it. She told me it was a mistake and that she regretted it, but that was obviously a lie.”

Pulling out your phone, your hands are trembling as you unlock it and log into the email account you haven’t accessed in years.

“I kept all of the emails to this day, I’m not even sure why. No one besides me has ever seen them but I feel like this is important enough to show you.”

Handing the phone to Sevika, she grabs it gingerly as she begins to scroll, absorbing every word on the screen. As she reads over the long-winded exchanges, her face betrays nothing, hard lines and slight wrinkles unmoving. Her eyes burn into the screen, taking in the words as your entire body tenses up. You’ve never felt this vulnerable around anyone, and the thought of her not believing you causes your chest to ache. Luckily, the photos were in a separate thread but this one had all the initial exchanges, including the texts.

Finally, Sevika raises her gaze to you, the eye contact making your heart pound furiously in your chest. She sets your phone on the desk next to her slowly, the metallic sound reverberating through the silent room. Anxiety gets the better of you and you continue spilling all of your thoughts.

“I wanted to explain why I left to her daughter at least, but Gert obviously wouldn’t let me, and what hurt me the most was to have to leave a girl I basically helped raise. She was a little older than Isha when I came into the picture, and we were glued at the hip from the first time we met. Walking away from her was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

Her eyes flick between yours, the exact grey of a cloud on the precipice of a storm. You feel as if she’s reading your very soul, everything she needs to know displayed in your desperate face. Taking a deep breath, you look directly at Sevika and let a final sentence fall from your lips.

“I hope you understand that even though my past is complicated, I’m not someone that you or your girls have to keep your distance from.”

Letting out a long sigh, Sevika’s gaze remains firmly planted on you. She knows the look of a heartbroken person well, and she can see the emotion clearly in your eyes. Coupled with the date stamps on those emails, she knows you’re telling the truth. She begins walking over and your anxiety builds until you feel something press into your palm. Looking down, you see that she’s given your phone back but your stomach squirms when she makes no move to distance herself.

You don’t know how to describe the look in Sevika’s eyes but whatever it is causes your stomach to flutter and your spine to tingle. Her hand remains on yours as she speaks, the touch electrifying, causing currents of energy to run through your body.

“You didn’t deserve any of that. If your ex couldn’t see what she had right in front of her, then that’s her loss.”

You open your mouth to speak but words fail you, a shaky breath leaving your chest as you take in what she said. You’ve heard similar statements before, from friends and family, but it felt different coming from Sevika. Everything did.

She continues staring at you intensely, and for a moment, you’re stunned by her focus. She notices your expression and her lips quirk slightly, the most she’s smiled this entire time, causing your heartbeat to quicken.

A heavy thud in the hallway causes both of your heads to snap in the direction of the noise, Sevika taking a step back from you and the bubble of tension now broken.

Powder and Vi walk into view shortly after, sporting matching blushes and nervous smiles.

“Hey guys…”, they say simultaneously.

Sevika shifts to look at the two girls and arches an eyebrow at them, knowing her daughters well.

“How much of that did you two hear?”

Both of them remain silent, shuffling awkwardly and refusing to look at Sevika, or you. The woman next to you sighs and shakes her head, crossing her arms across her chest as she waits for an answer, the two girls giving up once Sevika clears her throat. Powder speaks up first, shifting her weight and turning to look at the ground.

“A lot…”

Sevika is scowling now, irritated that they were both eavesdropping on her conversation and ruined the moment you two were having. Anger laced in her voice, she starts scolding them.

“What have I told you about listening in on my private conversations? We’ve talked about boundaries plenty of times before!”

Vi is now looking up at Sevika nervously and responds with a pleading tone.

“I promise it wasn’t on purpose! We were coming back and heard you guys talking and I was gonna walk in like normal but then Powder put her hand over my mouth and pulled me toward the wall cause she wanted to hear what you guys were saying, and then—”

“That’s not true! I grabbed you because I wanted them to keep talking, and good thing I did because I was right, Teach isn’t a cheater!”

Powder rolls her eyes at her sister while you’re standing there dumbfounded and Sevika is fuming. She looks like she’s about to explode, clearly not in the mood for excuses when your voice cuts through the tension, saving the two girls from receiving her wrath.

“It’s alright!” You rush out, holding your hands out as a sign of peace. Sevika’s gaze flicks over to you briefly, a look of confusion flashing on her face, before staring at her daughters again, clearly upset.

“I was hoping to also tell you girls eventually,” with a lot less details, you think, “but you know now, so…it is what it is, I guess.”

A nervous smile spreads across your face as you look between the three of them, hoping this would calm things down between Sevika and the girls.

Sevika’s eyes sharpen at your words but she takes a deep breath, reigning in her temper. It looks like she’s going to say something but decides to remain silent instead, her attention now focused solely on you. Powder and Vi look properly reprimanded, not wanting to cause any more trouble. They exchange a look between each other before Vi speaks up again, her guilt getting the best of her.

“So…Gert was the one that cheated on you.”

Your mouth twists at that, thinking of how to respond. You had planned a very watered down version of the story in case you ever told the girls, exactly because of this. Vi being friends with Gert’s daughter complicated things tenfold, and even though you hated the woman, you would never speak about her to Vi the way you did to Sevika. With the cat now out of the bag, you have no other option but to tell the truth.

“Yeah. I didn’t talk to her friends or family after everything happened, so she must’ve told them a version that didn’t paint her as the bad guy.”

Vi’s head drops to look at her shoes, a shaky exhale leaving her body. She takes a moment to collect herself before looking back up at you, eyes faintly glistening with unshed tears.

“I’m…so sorry. Powder was telling me since the beginning that I had it wrong but I didn’t wanna believe that. I accused you of something you didn’t do and almost ruined your relationship with Sev, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

At the mention of the word relationship, you look around embarrassingly, fidgeting with your clothes while Sevika begins to cough, turning away as she gets it under control. You walk up to Vi and awkwardly place your hand on her shoulder, forcing a smile as you pat it.

“I get it, you were just protecting your family, I would’ve done the exact same thing if I were in your shoes. No hard feelings, I promise.”

The girl nods and shoots you an appreciative half smile before you step away and slide your hands into your back pockets. Powder speaks up a moment later, feeling out the now calm vibe of the room.

“So…does this mean you’re allowed to start coming over for dinner again?”

Glancing at Sevika in your peripheral, your mouth opens before your brain can catch up, heat creeping towards your face.

“I mean, um, that would be more your mom’s decision, so—“

“That’s fine with me.”

Three pairs of eyes dart over to the woman next to you, one with surprise that she answered so quickly, and two with a knowing look at why she did. Sevika’s gaze bounces between all of you, clearing her throat before trying to explain.

“The girls really missed you and they’ve been saving movies to watch in case you came over, so, it only makes sense.”

A bashful smile now adorns your face as you slowly nod, a warmth spreading throughout your chest. You had missed Sevika, of course, but you longed for the days when you felt like another member of her tight knit family. Looking at the woman with a sparkle in your eye, you respond happily.

“Great, that sounds…great.”

Now that the conversation has died down, a bit of an awkward air settles among the room as all of you think about how to segway to another topic. Sevika breaks the silence first, deciding she needs to have a moment to herself after such a heavy conversation.

“So, we should probably head home, Isha’s definitely tried giving Caitlyn another makeover by now and it’s only a matter of time before she wears her down.”

You chuckle at that, imagining the scenario and remembering when Isha did something similar to you.

“Yeah, of course. See you guys tomorrow then?”

Sevika weakly nods as Powder walks over and hugs you tightly, glad that everyone now knows what she felt all along.

“Come over soon, okay?”

Pulling back from the hug, you look at Powder and smile.

“You got it, kid.”

The teenager squeals as she moves towards the door where Sevika and Vi are now standing. You look at both of them before landing on Sevika who has a ghost of a smile on her face as she tells you “Have a good night, miss.”

Smiling, you return the gesture before she walks out, Powder and Vi following, the older of the two smiling at you and sheepishly waving before disappearing.

Now alone, you let out a deep sigh, your body suddenly feeling tired. The conversation went better than you expected, minus the girls overhearing, but all of the anxiety surrounding the situation left you exhausted. You slowly gather your things, thinking about where things are headed from here. Sevika was okay with you coming around them again, and as much as you wished you could be satisfied with that, you wanted…more.

Groaning, you start rubbing your temples, feeling a headache come on. Telling yourself you only wanted to be friends worked when you were unsure if she would believe you about the Gert situation, but now that she had, it was only going to get harder and harder to fool yourself. You decide to head home and see if your roommates are there for you to bounce your thoughts off of, needing to know if you are as crazy as you feel.

Your drive home is short and blissfully quiet, with your thoughts beginning to run amok. You think about what Sevika told you, about your ex not deserving you, and your mind desperately tries to not get ahead of itself. You can’t go a second without thinking about the soft expression on her face, your feelings threatening to overwhelm you.

Unfortunately, the house seems to be empty when you arrive. Tossing your keys into the bowl, you kick off your shoes and walk into the living room, collapsing face first into a couch cushion. You roll onto your back, clutching a pillow as you replay the entire afternoon in your head. Would something have happened if the girls hadn’t walked in? Sevika was never one to do something accidental, she was a very deliberate woman, and the way she was touching your hand…

Your thoughts are interrupted by soft footsteps approaching the living room. You sit up slightly to see your roommate walking in with headphones on and looking down at her phone. After yelling her name a couple of times, that fails to get her attention so you decide to throw a pillow at her.

“Holy shit!”

She screams as she yanks her headphones off and clutches her chest, breathing heavily.

“I didn’t see you under all that, what the fuck!”

You’re laughing now, hands up to show her you meant no harm.

“I’m sorry! I was calling you but I guess you couldn’t hear me.”

She playfully rolls her eyes as she plops down next to you, leaning her head back on the couch and clutching her forehead.

“You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“My bad.”

Leaning your head on her shoulder, you squeeze her thigh apologetically. After a minute, you sit back up and turn your body towards her.

“So…I did what you said and showed Sevika the texts.”

Her eyes widen as she puts her phone down, giving you her undivided attention.

“Oh shit, how did that go?”

“Really well, actually. She didn’t say anything when I was explaining, even when I showed her the emails, but at the end, she told me that I didn’t deserve what happened and that if Gert couldn’t see what she had, then it was her loss.”

Your friend gasps as she clutches your hand.

“Wait, that’s really good!”

You look down at your lap bashfully, absorbing her excitement.

“And then she kind of held my hand when she gave my phone back.”

That gets a very excited scream from your friend.

“Girl, this is great news, she wants you!”

Scratching at your neck, you continue explaining what happened after that.

“The only thing is, her daughters overheard our conversation.”

That instantly calms her down and she’s now looking at you with a confused expression.

“What?! How?”

“They had left to go look at something and when they got back, Powder kept Vi in the hallway so we could keep talking, then something must’ve fallen cause there was a loud noise and they walked in all embarrassed.”

At this point your friend’s eyes are wide with surprise, not expecting your conversation to end like that. She sits in silence for a second, mulling over everything you said before raising a questioning brow at you.

“So, they know everything?”

“Most of it,” You shrug, now biting your lip.

“More than I would’ve liked them to find out, for sure.”

“Well, maybe it's a good thing, right? They’re old enough to understand things like that.”

Your friend tries her best to reassure you and you’re grateful for it, knowing how you can sometimes spiral.

“Yeah, I guess.”

The two of you continue talking for well over an hour, your friend eventually grabbing two glasses of wine to relax among all the news. You vent about how nervous you were showing Sevika the emails and both of you rehash old relationship worries. By the end of the conversation, you feel a bit more confident about the situation.

“So you’re definitely in the clear to get in with her now.”

Blowing out a puff of air, a smile cracks through your attempt at nonchalance and you attempt to hide it by covering your face.

“Ugh, it’s been so long since I’ve had a crush, I feel like a teenager again.”

“Isn’t it kind of fun though? Especially with someone that looks like her.”

You push her shoulder at that, both of you laughing.

“I tried for a while to tell myself friendship was enough, but…I like her.”

“Aww, of course you do!”

She wraps you in her arms, rubbing your back.

“I’m so happy for you, I know this weighed on you a lot. You deserve to be happy and I’m glad it’s finally starting to happen.”

Tucking your face into her shoulder, your eyes begin to get misty. As much as you’ve tried telling yourself that over the last few years, it feels like it’s starting to become reality.

“I really hope so.”

At her house, Sevika is having a similar conversation on the phone with Vander. Standing in the garage, she’s smoking a cigaratte and blowing the smoke towards the cracked garage door as her best friend is giving her his thoughts on the situation.

“It sounds bad to say, but I’m glad Vi was wrong. I really like that girl for you, Sev, I got a good feeling about her.”

Chuckling, she shakes her head as she brushes her hair out of her face. She didn’t tell Vander any details out of respect for you, only that the situation’s been cleared up and you’re back in her good graces.

“God, I thought I was out of the game for good. I’m too grown for shit like this.”

Vander belly laughs at that.

“These things happen when you least expect it, Sev. Take it in stride.”

Putting out her cigarette, she mumbles an agreement and ends the call a few minutes later, deciding she wants some reading time before bed, thoughts of you plaguing her mind the entire way.

That week ends up being extremely busy for you and Sevika, so much so that you haven’t been able to have dinner at her house. That changes Friday afternoon when you get a voice note from her asking if you’d like to come over later for dinner. It takes everything in you not to answer too eagerly, replying with a calm That sounds good :).

Now with that to look forward to, the rest of the day breezes by and eventually it’s time for Powder to get picked up after working on her project. Right on cue, Sevika walks in, and you have to fight to keep your eyes in your head.

Her trusty leather jacket makes a reappearance, over a fitted white henley you’ve never seen, buttons undone just enough to tease a perfectly sculpted clavicle. Paired with a loose fit pair of jeans and black combat boots, she looks the very picture of heartthrob.

Powder drops something on the floor and it’s then that you realize you’ve been staring unabashedly. Clearing your throat, Sevika walks over to you unexpectedly, carrying something in her hand. When you see that it’s a helmet, you swear you almost faint. Of course she has a goddamn motorcycle.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

Sevika is wearing a mostly neutral expression, only a hint of a smile playing at her lips, and you’re trying your hardest to match it.

“I know I invited you for dinner tonight, and that’s still on, but me, Vander and Silco were gonna have our poker night afterwards. If you’re interested.”

The moment hangs in the air as she waits for your answer. You’ve never mentioned being into cards or anything like that, but she hopes you’ll accept the offer anyway.

“I’d love to.”

A smile lights up your face, your hands clasped in front of you as you continue. So much for keeping it cool.

“I’m not very good at poker, but that sounds like fun.”

Sevika lets out an internal sigh of relief, even though you hadn’t yet turned down an activity she mentioned, she was still nervous, especially because other people were involved.

“Great. We’re gonna head to the house from here, but you come over whenever you’re ready. And you don’t have to bring anything this time, really.”

You cluck your tongue, looking at her with a mischievous expression.

“I’ll see about that.”

Sevika bites her lip, looking away from you but the action captures all of your attention. When she turns back to you, your staring contest with her mouth ends and you suddenly become interested in something on the wall.

Powder walks over at that very moment, a knowing glint in her eye that you and Sevika both pretend not to notice.

“I’m ready, mom.”

Nodding at her daughter, Sevika moves to step towards you before correcting herself and pretending she was just shuffling her feet.

“Right. So, we will see you in a bit?”

“Yup! I’ll walk with you guys, I’m ready to head out too.”

Truthfully, you could’ve stayed a few more minutes to organize your desk before Monday but the chance to see Sevika drive off on her motorcycle was too enticing to pass up.

You walk towards the door with your bags, shutting off all of the lights and holding it open for Powder and Sevika to walk out, locking it behind you. When the three of you reach the exit to the parking lot, Sevika pushes it open and stands off to the side.

“After you.”

Powder can only shake her head, heading out first before you brush past Sevika, eyes almost fluttering shut at her aroma. Once in the lot, you see that she parked directly next to you and walk up to her bike, admiring the way it shines.

“It’s beautiful.”

You look back at Sevika, who looks very proud.

“Thank you. Finished fixing her up a month ago, but it’s been raining too much to ride until this week.”

She walks over to the back of the motorcycle and pops the seat, grabbing another helmet and placing it on Powder’s head. As she does, her jacket lifts and a sliver of her toned lower stomach is exposed where her shirt folded under itself.

After situating her own helmet, Sevika turns to you to say goodbye when she sees the dazed look on your face. Still staring, you’re playing with the car keys in your hand, the most distracted you’ve ever been.

“You okay?”

That instantly snaps you out of your daze, flames licking at your face.

“Yeah! Just thinking about something I have to do before going over.”

You smile at the woman, hopefully distracting her from the fact that you were just openly ogling her. Again. Behind her, you see Powder covering her mouth, most likely hiding a laugh, and groan to yourself.

“Okay then, drive safe.”

She swings her leg over the seat, Powder getting on behind her as Sevika turns the bike on and revs the engine. Nodding at you once, she pulls the visor of her helmet down and drives off, leaving you behind to collect yourself.

“Shit.”

When you arrive at her house a short while later, you make quick work of getting to the porch, eager to get out of the cold. Ringing the doorbell once, only a few seconds pass before the door opens and Vi is standing before you.

“Oh, hi Vi.”

You smile at the girl before she ushers you inside, offering to take your coat. After handing it to her, she sees the bottle in your hand and asks if you want her to grab it from you.

Laughing lightly, you tell her, “No, that’s okay, I don’t want your mom to think I’m giving you something to drink.”

You quickly add on, “We’ll wait until after she goes to bed,” with a wink.

Vi actually chuckles, and you feel proud. You definitely have to build a rapport with her the way you have with her sisters, but you decide to start right away. She leads you into the kitchen where the table is fully set, and a memory of the last time you were here hits you like a train. Clearing your head, you look around for Sevika before seeing her walking in your direction.

Before she can reach you, you extend your hands, presenting her favorite whiskey.

“You didn’t.”

A smile disguising itself as shyness spreads across your face as you reply.

“Of course I did, I never agreed to come empty handed.”

Shaking her head as she takes it from you, Vander and Silco walk over, shaking your hand as you greet each other.

“Good to see you again— Oh!”

Vander reaches for the bottle that Sevika is cradling, grabbing it and inspecting the label.

“Sev, you didn’t say she had such good taste.”

He smirks at her and you pretend not to notice the way she looks down, avoiding your eyes.

“Easy, babe.”

Silco rubs Vander’s shoulder as he directs him towards the table where the girls are starting to sit down. When they notice you, they greet you with hugs, Isha pulling you to sit next to her. Even Caitlyn openly waves to you, no longer worried about Vi’s glare.

Everyone takes their places and starts serving themselves, conversation flowing easily. You spend the first few minutes a bit anxious that something similar to last time will happen, but eventually, that feeling is replaced by a relaxed one.

When dinner ends, the girls head to Powder’s room and you head to the couch, chatting with Vander and Silco as Sevika cleans up the kitchen. A few minutes later, she walks over holding the bottle you brought and a deck of cards.

“Who’s ready to lose?”

Smirking at her two best friends, her eyes land on you and her gaze softens just enough to be noticeable. You stand and lightly stretch your limbs, trying to expel a bit of nervous energy that returned with Sevika’s presence.

“Take it easy on me, okay, public school teachers don’t make much, I promise.”

Vander cackles like that’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard and the two of you follow Sevika and Silco to the garage where the table’s already set up. Taking your seats, the two husbands sit across from each other, already sizing each other up and trying to psych each other out.

Hearing music suddenly playing, you turn around to see Sevika fiddling with a stereo system, holding a CD case. When she’s done, she strolls over and takes her seat across from you, reaching behind herself to set the case back on the shelf.

“Hope you like Coldplay.”

“You a big fan?”

Two groans come from the men on either side of you, confusing you.

“Please don’t get her started. She’s dragged us with her to see them live six different times. I like them, don’t get me wrong, but six is excessive, they only have so many songs!”

Silco’s explanation makes you giggle while it gets an eye roll from Sevika. Looking towards her, your curiosity begins to grow.

“You like them that much?”

The woman splays her hands across her thighs and shrugs.

“Their music’s gotten me through a lot. I haven’t been able to see them the last few times they were here, but I still listen to them all the time.”

Bobbing your head, you think it’s endearing how much she likes them and decide to indulge her.

“That’s really nice, actually. I’ve never been able to see them live, but I’ve heard great things.”

Her gaze flicks up to you, a hopeful look in it.

“You’re a fan?”

Shaking your head side to side, you tell her, “Not as much as you, but I listen to them often enough.”

A shy smile creeps up her face and she looks down at her hands as she begins shuffling the cards.

“That’s cool.”

Vander and Silco are watching the entire interaction with rapt attention, they knew Sevika had a thing for you, but this was more than they expected. Standing up, Vander grabs the whiskey from behind you and raises it to get everyone’s attention.

“Drink, anyone?”

Sevika and Silco both nod and Vander shifts his gaze to you. Deciding it’s a special occasion, you agree and he heads to the bar next to the fridge to retrieve some glasses. When he returns, he sets one down in front of each of you, pouring a generous amount in the others until he reaches you. He gets to less than half of what’s in the other glasses before Sevika cuts him off.

“Not too much, Van, you trying to kill her?”

Looking at your drink, it’s definitely more than you would’ve poured but you know you can handle yourself.

“Sorry! I forget not everyone drinks like a mechanic.”

Smiling apologetically, Vander caps the bottle and puts it away, sitting back down and looking at Sevika.

“Alright, let’s get started then.”

Sevika looks up at you through her bangs as she deals the cards.

“How much you know about poker?”

Glancing around, you clench your hands, trying to not seem nervous.

“Mm, not much, to be honest. There’s 5 cards per player, right? And the goal is to have the best hand possible.”

The three other people at the table internally chuckle at your naivety. They're going to eat you alive.

Sevika agrees to let you have a couple practice rounds so you can get a feel for the game, and only when you insist on playing for real does she stop holding back.

“If you say so.”

She smirks as she deals again, she almost felt bad for how this was going to go, but this was your choice and she was going to give you what you asked for. You end up with a straight, and though it was better than everyone was expecting, it wasn’t good enough to win. Huffing, you sit up in your chair as you take a swig of your whiskey, the burn in your throat only spurring you on.

“I think I got the hang of it now.”

Laughing under her breath, Sevika thinks the determination on your face is adorable, and the alcohol in her system isn’t helping. Going again, you end up with the same hand as before, more and more chips slowly disappearing from your stack.

The drinks are serving their purpose now, jokes and laughs coming out much easier than before. You find out that Vander and Silco have been together almost ten years, their anniversary coming this summer. They tell you the story of how they met at work, and you coo as they relay the details of how it was mainly Sevika’s doing. She makes a couple comments towards you that could be taken as flirtatious, but you pass them off as effects of the alcohol.

When your foot bumps hers, you shoot her a quick apology, and she accepts it with a small smile. When it happens again a couple of minutes later, you apologize again but she only nods, pinning you to your seat with her gaze. You try to focus on the story Silco is telling, something about a vacation, but your breath catches in your throat when you feel two legs slide on either side of yours, trapping your calf between them.

Quickly glancing at Sevika, she’s no longer looking at you but at Silco, fully engaged in his story. You move to pull away from her, sure it was an accident, when her grip tightens and she hooks one foot behind yours, leaving no room for doubt. She’s definitely flirting with you.

Alarm bells start going off in your head, you never considered what you would actually do in the event that Sevika returned the sentiment. The two men are seemingly unaware of what’s going on under the table and you’d like to keep it that way. You turn your leg to the right, pressing it into Sevika to test out her reaction. You’re rewarded with a sharp inhale that you only notice because your eyes are locked onto her full lips.

The moment unravels when you hear Vander call your name, forcing your gaze to the expectant look on his face.

“Sorry, what was that last part?”

“I was asking if you’ve ever ridden a motorcycle before.”

Sevika suddenly notices the lack of music playing and gets up to change CDs, taking the warmth against your lower half with her.

“Oh, yeah, um, no, no I haven’t.”

Giving him a tight smile, Sevika returns with a cigar between her lips, offering the box around the table while Vander keeps talking.

“Ah, it’s amazing. The three of us used to do an annual bike ride through the country, just us and the open road for weeks. Nothing like it.”

After everyone but you takes one, she walks over to the garage door to crack it open, making sure to turn up the space heater before sitting back down. Sevika clips her cigar and lights it, blowing a perfect ring on the first try. The alcohol is definitely affecting you now because as you watch the smoke leave her mouth, you wish you were in its place.

You decide you need to sober up a bit before your inside thoughts make their way out of your mouth. Standing up with the slightest wobble, the entire table stops what they’re doing and looks at you with varying degrees of amusement.

“I need to use the ladies’ room, be right back.”

Walking into the house and heading straight for the bathroom, you shut the door and lock it before turning to the sink and pulling the handle for cold water. Cupping your hands under the faucet, you rub the cool liquid over your face and take a deep breath. You look at yourself in the mirror, seeing the slight glossiness in your eyes and giggle to yourself. Was this really happening?

After a few minutes of breathing exercises, and actually peeing, you feel a bit more yourself, opening the door before immediately running into something.

“Oh shit, sorry, I was just about to knock.”

You step back in a daze before your eyes focus to see a sheepish Sevika standing in the doorway.

“You’ve been gone for a bit so I just wanted to check and make sure you were okay.”

Her hands are stuffed into her pockets and she’s looking at you with worry etched into the slight crease between her brows. You start to feel unsteady again, but it has nothing to do with the alcohol.

“I’m okay, just needed to wake up a little. That whiskey is stronger than it looks.”

A chuckle escapes her parted lips and the piercing underneath them suddenly looks enticing. Stepping forward to place a foot between hers, mirroring her move from earlier, you lean in the slightest bit before watching her eyes drop to your mouth as she replies.

“Yeah, it’s kicked my ass more than once…”

“Mm, I thought you could handle your liquor.”

Both of you continue to lessen the gap, pulled together as if by magnets.

“I can, but sometimes I like to test my limits.”

“Is that so?”

Your chests are almost touching, heavy breaths mixing into the space between you. Right when you’re about to close the distance, a door down the hall creaks open and you hear giggling, footsteps coming closer until they stop right outside the bathroom.

“Oh shit.”

Standing straight up, Sevika is glaring at Vi and Caitlyn as you lean your forehead against the doorframe, sure this is some sort of punishment from a past life.

“Where do you girls think you’re going?”

It’s then that you turn to see the keys dangling from Vi’s hand.

“Uh, we were just gonna go to the store for some snacks. For the movie we’re all watching?”

Both pairs of eyes flicker between you and Sevika, cogs turning as they realize they just walked in on something.

“But we can head back to the room, no worries, we can watch the movie without them.”

They turn back the way they came, mumbling apologies as Sevika hangs her head and groans.

“I just want five minutes without interruptions, that’s it.”

You giggle at her confession, though you wished for the same. Taking it as a sign to head back to the garage, you squeeze past Sevika, fingers brushing hers and you could almost swear you feel them twitch.

Walking back to the table, you feel Sevika’s eyes on your back the entire way and only because you reach Vander and Silco’s line of sight do you not turn around and pull her towards you. She slowly takes her seat in front of you, making a show of it because she knows you’re watching.

“Last round before we call it a night?”

Vander looks around the table to sense the vibe. He and Silco have been waiting for an opening to leave without interrupting whatever was going on with you and Sevika for over half an hour. You smile and nod, thinking it’s probably late for them to still be awake. Sensing that it’s finally time to execute your plan, you calmly call out, “Winner take all?”

You’re met with three confused glances. The girl who’s been losing all night wants to bet everything she has left? It isn’t a lot, they’ll admit but never one to pass up an opportunity to make some money, they all agree.

Sevika deals, a curious gleam in her eye as she watches you. Not seeing any tells, she focuses on her hand and looks around the table, confident with what she has.

“Fuck.”

A groan leaves Vander as he pushes his cards into the middle of the table.

“Fold.”

Crossing his arms and finishing his drink, he sets it onto the table with some force, more annoyed that he lost to his husband than anything. Silco grins, even if he doesn’t win the hand, beating Vander is enough for him. He lays his cards on the table with a flourish, calling out “Full house, baby.”

A huff escapes Sevika as she looks down at her hand.

“Damn. I only have a…” setting down her hand slowly to build suspense, “straight flush.”

Once you suck your teeth and sigh, Sevika grins and starts collecting the chips on the table, pulling the piles towards herself before asking what you have.

“Ugh, I don’t remember what it’s called.”

Setting down the cards one by one, each reveal causes everyone’s jaws to drop a little more as realization settles in.

“A royal flush?”

A wicked smile spreads onto your face as you sit back, absorbing the big reveal. Exhaling dramatically, you lean forward after a moment and start grabbing your winnings, the only noise in the room being the clack of plastic chips and the muted soundtrack of Coldplay.

“I can’t believe you just hustled me.”

Sevika is looking at you with a shocked, yet proud, look on her face and all you do is shrug.

“I can’t believe you just let it happen.”

A low chuckle leaves Vander as he scans his best friend’s face, thinking She may have finally met her match.

As you all stand from the table, he pulls out his wallet, grabbing your winnings and handing them to you before you raise a hand up, declining.

“No need. Seeing the look on all of your faces was payment enough.”

He claps a hand on your shoulder, peering past you before speaking.

“I really do like this one.”

He finishes his sentence with a pointed look towards the woman, emphasizing his comment from their earlier conversation.

“We’re gonna head out, don’t worry about locking up Sev, I still have my key. You two have a good night, now.”

Shaking his head and laughing to himself, Vander walks inside, closely followed by Silco, the two of them discussing their admiration for your style of play. Once you and Sevika are alone, you swing back to face her, much more confident than you were upon arriving earlier.

“Next time, we’re playing for real money. Now that you know how good I am and all that.”

Grinning at the woman in front of you, the look on her face can only be described as awe.

“I don’t enjoy being tricked, you know that?”

Glancing around the room, you purposely avoid eye contact for a few seconds before looking at Sevika.

“I get that, but I think you like a challenge.”

A sharp exhale is the only response you get before you reach out, hand grazing hers with a purpose. You were just full of surprises today.

The door to the house suddenly opens, revealing a tired Isha who's rubbing her eyes and carrying her stuffed monkey towards you both. Trying to blink away the sleep, she looks toward an exasperated Sevika, no clue what she’s just done. When she signs Can I sleep with you? I had a bad dream, the woman can only sigh. Isha’s nightmares could get pretty intense so she instantly feels bad and scoops the girl into her arms.

Are the others asleep?

After nodding, the girl tucks her face into Sevika’s neck, already starting to doze off.

“That’s definitely my cue to leave.”

You step towards the two and gently lay a hand on Isha’s back, feeling the warmth exuding from her small frame. Looking at Sevika, you give her a small smile before telling her you’ll see her later and moving in the direction of the door. She vigorously shakes her head before stepping into your path.

“Let me walk you out, at least.”

Agreeing to that, you make your way inside to the front, slipping your shoes on, then your coat, before facing Sevika. She’s sporting the slightest pout and you almost reach over Isha to kiss it away.

“See you next week, yeah?”

Nodding with a tired sigh, she looks at you before moving to embrace you as best she can. You take what you can get, wrapping one arm around her neck and the other around Isha, reaching for the woman's shoulder. After reluctantly letting go, you open the door, Sevika holding it as you walk out and angling her body to shield Isha from the cold.

“Text me when you get home, please,” she calls out as you head down the driveway.

Turning around, you give her a thumbs up, too wired to give her a verbal response. Once you’re in the car, Sevika closes the door but continues to watch from the window while you warm up your car, taking off a couple minutes later with a frazzled wave.

The drive home is silent. You couldn’t even bring yourself to play any music, the replay of the night making plenty of noise in your head. Only realizing how late it is when you arrive and see the lack of any lights inside, you tiptoe through the quiet house, reaching your room and closing the door as gently as possible.

Leaning against the door, you let out the breath you’ve been holding since leaving Sevika’s house. We almost kissed. Twice. You cover your face with your hands as you let out a muffled shriek, giddy and excited for what’s to come for the first time in a very long while.

taglist: @daughterofthemoons-stuff @vii-v @runawaybaby3 @ferxanda @sevikas-whore @vikashoneybee @sleepingwasp @savedforlaterr @lia-winther @bebadoobie @nymanas @dyketoast

[hsangel64]

the weight of sacrifice

pairings: ellie williams x fem miller!reader and dad!joel miller x daughter!reader

synopsis: it all happened so fast you had to do someone even if it meant putting your life at risk

warnings: TW: BIG BIG BIG use of gore like i went into detail about some things, angst lots of angst, cussing, use of y/n

a/n: for some context ellie and reader are already together, joel and reader were at the hospital together, joel is readers dad!! i have been doing a bit of fluff so i wanted to do an angst one! i have had this on my mind for awhile now so i hope you guys like this! requests are open!

you didn’t know how you ended up in this situation, you weren’t thinking straight but all you could think about was to save your dad. everyone in the room was unknown to you. you knew this was a bad idea you knew something wasn’t right, you tried to reason with your dad and he didn’t listen. your dad, you and tommy were just on patrol, the horde being too strong and saving the girl who was about to kill him. it wasn’t hard to put two and two together to realize these people had to have been apart of the firefly’s and were coming after your dad for killing everyone in that hospital. for not saving the world, for taking that away from everyone. whatever the reason was you had to stop her.

“wait he didn’t do anything!!!” the woman turned to look at you waiting for you to continue.

“he didn’t do anything, i promise it was all me. take me not him!” you yelled out and everyone’s faces were turned to you.

“y/n no!” he yelled wondering what the hell you were doing. you could tell the girl was taking in everything you said.

“pick her up.” pulling you up they pulled your dad away and hit you across the face, falling to the floor in front of her. you felt the room start to spin knowing you were going to die here.

the day you and joel took ellie from the firefly’s

driving back to jackson after what went down felt wrong. you didnt want ellie to die so you killed everyone in sight, you didnt want it to end this way but ellie meant more to you guys than anyone.

“are you okay?”your dad broke the silence between you two.

“oh uh yeah im fine.” there was a slight pause before he spoke again.

“we need to lie to her.” your head snapped towards him baffled at him wanting to lie to her.

“what…why can’t we tell her the truth.”

“because we can’t okay?” raising his voice as he talked so you stopped talking and silently agreed. all you could hear was the hum of the car moving not wanting to say anything more. you knew why he told you to lie, it made you feel dirty knowing what you both did. they had a chance to a cure and you took that away from the world. you knew ellie would’ve never talked to you again if she knew, so you stayed quiet. you never told her and when she asked you said you didn’t remember anything. that they knocked you out and you woke up in the car on the way to jackson.

the day ellie and joel came back from salt lake city after their talk.

the day they came back was the worst day you’ve ever had, you were and ellie basically lived together so you were in her home when she came back. waiting the full week felt like forever, you didn’t know where she went and you had so many questions. hearing the door open you whipped around to see ellie dropping her backpack by the door, running over you touched her face to see what was wrong.

“baby i was so worried where were you?”

“did you know joel lied?”

“lied about what els?” she pushed you away and walked past you taking her jacket off.

“lied about the cure, the hospital everything that day.” oh shit.

“what? n-no no of course not.”

“don’t lie to me again please, did you lie or not.” you knew she had found out, you knew there was no way around this.

“ellie…”

“i can’t fucking believe you!” ellie raised her voice and threw her jacket to the ground making you jump.

“look ellie i had no choice-“

“no choice? you’re my fucking girlfriend.” she finally made eye contact with you and you saw tears forming in her eyes. you walked over to her and before you could even touch her she pushed you away nearly making you fall to the ground.

“els please let me explain-“ your voice cracked feeling the giant lump in your throat. she was pacing now.

“explain what that you lied our whole relationship? that we could’ve saved the world and you took that from me?!”

“els-“

“no shut the fuck up, i don’t want to hear it. there’s nothing to explain. i should’ve died in that hospital y/n! my life would’ve fucking mattered and you both took that from me.” the tears were in full affect now, feeling your chest tighten as you let out a sob.

“you matter to me ellie, you matter to joel, to everyone.” you put your hands on her face again wiping the fallen tears.

“the whole world would’ve been saved you guys fucked that up and now we’re stuck here in this world.” she stopped for a second looking away. “the other day i went and helped the kids with a drill, you know what that drill was meant for?” she walked closer to you. “the drill is for when we have raiders or a horde of infected. i could’ve saved those kids from this world that were living in. that was my fucking purpose.” you flinched away slightly hearing her raise her voice slightly.

“els, you are my purpose. who knows if that cure even was able to work, what if we ran the risk of you dying and not even being able to save the world. do you realize how devastated i would’ve been, if it was all for fucking nothing?”

“but we don’t fucking know that, what if it did work. i would’ve saved the world.”

“i would’ve lost you either way ellie, you matter so much to me and we were both so selfish and im sorry we did it but if we had the chance to do it again im sure we both would do it all over again. a million times over again.” you were pouring your heart out to her, you couldn’t lose her even if things weren’t going to be the same you weren’t going to lose her.

“i can’t do this shit anymore i need time. a break from…this.”

“a break?” your heart shattered.

“yes a break, i need time i can’t be with you right now.” you shook your head, you knew there was no way to sway her decision. so you nodded and grabbed your duffle bag and packed you clothes that you had in her room. she was sat on the edge of her bed with her head in her hands.

“i love you so much ellie i hope you know that.” you said as you walked out of the small garage.

the festival day

after your fight you had kept to yourself, talked to no one, nothing made you happy. your dad tried, he offered movie nights consisting of your favorite movies that you’d watch together, during the summer would offer to take you down to the lake for a lake day like old times, he would get you your favorite foods and even traded some of his precious coffee beans for you. you felt into a deep depression and obviously with it being the apocalypse there weren’t many resources, he had you start to go to the town therapist, gail, she was nice and helped but you just felt numb. ellie felt like everything to you and now she wasn’t. you had seen she had gotten close to dina and it made you feel like shit you had to watch from afar as they got closer and closer.

after the argument word went around quick and everyone knew ellie williams had dumped you, the rumors were endless and made your life hell, just hearing whispers from others and looks when you were out, not that it was often. your dad wanted you to get out more, this was a great opportunity, the festival. you knew she would be there, you wanted to see her but you knew dina would be there too. you really did not want to go to this thing but your dad had insisted it was going to be good for you. having been up in your room all day every day, missing patrols, not eating, just everything, he wanted you to get out even if you would see ellie. it had been a bit since you two had broken up, you have tried your best to talk to her, reason with her, bringing her flowers, trying to talk during patrols but nothing. she really wanted nothing to do with you and you couldn’t blame her one bit. you lied through your teeth for years to her and you shouldn’t have listened to your dad, you should’ve just told her the truth. you had wondered if she thought about you, wondered if she worried about you at all. or if she didn’t care at all and was healing from this all together.

ellie would be lying if she didn’t think about you, i mean besides riley, you were her first everything. she had barely seen you for the past few months, some weeks she even worried that you had died and she just didn’t know. you had gotten skinny and you looked tired, she noticed it when she did see you. ellie was worried about you, she still loved you a lot, she still cared for you and wished things were different but that feeling of betrayed got to her and she knew she wouldn’t be able to go back to you and that hurt her.

dina helped filling the void, she had a small crush on her but nothing like what she had with you. ellie knew this was shitty for using dina but you weren’t an option. her and dina haven’t actually done anything but she has been flirty since her and jesse broke up. she had pulled ellie to this festival, she really didn’t want to go.

you had threw on some unwashed jeans and a hoodie putting on deodorant to not smell like total shit. staring at the mirror in you room looking at your tired eyes and giant eye bags, groaning you walked downstairs to see your dad waiting by the door putting his jacket on.

“dad do i really have to go.”

“yes yes you do, all you do is sleep and stay in that room of yours, you need to get out and get some fresh air with everyone else.” he walked over to you and put his hands on your shoulders.

“please try and have some fun tonight, and don’t drink too much for my sake.” you rolled your eyes at him as you both walked out the door. you felt like a vampire, feeling blinded from the moonlight and the bright lights of the town. you felt drained, feeling like if you saw ellie you would burst into an ugly heaving sob. slightly resenting your dad for making you come, you both walked into the party and you were already dreading being here.

everyone was looking at you, you could already hear the whispers about your appearance. walking straight to the bar abandoning your dad to get a drink in you to at least bare the night. when you walked up you saw her talking to jesse, you made eye contact with her and stopped in your tracks, biting your lip to stop you from crying. walking the rest of the way up to the bar you asked for something strong. trying to keep your distance away from her your attention got caught by dina dancing around the dance floor with some guy. your eyes stayed on her as the song ended she made her way over to ellie saying a few words that you couldn’t make out and took ellie towards the dance floor. your face dropped keeping your eyes on them as dina pulled her close to her starting to sway side by side, all the air escaped your throat only being able to keep your eyes on them, ellie looked so happy with her. it gutted you, made you dizzy and want to vomit.

you had to look away but you couldn’t, you physically couldn’t. they got closer to each other now laying their heads on each others shoulders, you and ellie at made eye contact not even realizing the tears that had fallen down your face. she looked like she had a small frown on her face looking at you, she got pulled away slightly and her focus was back on dina. dina kissed her, she kissed ellie and you didnt even know how to react. holding your breath trying to restrain a sob. you could only hear your own breathing and heartbeat, almost felt like you were dying. getting pulled out of it hearing sean yell out a slur to both of them. it all seemed to happen so fast, your dad was up there within a minute defending ellie.

“what is wrong with you?” you picked up the argument and made your way closer to listen.

“he had no right-“

“and you did?”

“i don’t need your fucking help joel.” you ran your way through the crowd, pulling your dad away slightly.

“don’t you fucking talk to him like that.”

“this doesn’t involve you.” you stood closer to her almost face to face.

“it involved me when you yelled at my dad.”

“get out of my face.” she said so only you could hear.

“don’t fucking get on him for defending you.” she pushed you away and ran out of the building, you fell into joel slightly and scoffed at ellie’s actions. you didn’t realize what you were doing but you followed after ellie out of the building catching her halfway to her house.

“ellie!” she kept walking so you picked up your speed.

“ellie lets talk please!”

“what could we possibly talk about?”

“i- i don’t know, lets just stop for a second and talk please.”

“what do you want? to embarrass me again? tell me to leave joel alone when he had no reason to defend me?”

“he was fucking helping you ellie believe it or not he cares about you.”

“i didn’t need help thats the problem!” she started to walk back away not staying to hear what you had to say.

“it doesn’t matter ellie you can’t hate us forever.” stopping in her tracks she scoffed and started walking again causing you to follow behind and grabbing her shoulder. she whipped around and she slapped you. it surprised you, grabbing your face from the stinging pain that caused you. ellie’s expression dropped going to grab onto you, you pulled back. tears forming in your eyes yet again, feeling embarrassed for even trying to talk to her. ellie instantly regretted it and went to hold you causing you to flinch away.

“hey wait i-im sorry i really didnt mean to do that.”

“no don’t fucking touch me.” you shook your head moving around her to go run into your house.

“y/n! wait please im sorry!” you felt her behind you as you walked into the house, slamming the door in her face and running up to your room. you fell into your bed sobbing into your pillow the rest of the night.

ellie knew she fucked up, she fucked up bad. she wanted to go in there and console you, hold you and apologize profusely. ellie didn’t know what happened it just happened so fast. she ran back home, feeling the sobs come out of her chest.

4 hours before

you had patrol with your dad and tommy, you guys had been out really early due to the huge hoard of infected that had been seen close to jackson. you initially weren’t supposed to be here but you begged your dad to go this morning wanting to take your mind off things. it was terrible to think but maybe even get lost and never seen again. you knew ellie and dina had patrol together today, it made your stomach churn and your face grimaced at the thought of them getting to hang out today, especially after the events of the night before. you had been so tired from clearing out the places by jackson, it was cold and you were sick of it. meanwhile ellie and dina had just gotten their horses to head out.

“where are joel and tommy?” ellie asked jesse.

“they went out early with y/n to clear up some areas been out for awhile, so im gonna switch out with them so we can take their place and they can take a break.” she nodded, hearing your name knowing you were out there made her feel uneasy especially knowing she wasn’t there with you. she wanted to try and talk to you before she headed out but ended up sleeping in due to her crying herself to sleep.

they all went on their way, ellie just following behind dina since she didn’t know the trail they were taking. she sighed, ‘here we go’

2 hours before

ellie and dina had been cozying it up in a library due to the storm, whilst you had been caught up in a hoard. you guys had been running for what felt like hours, helping some girl out in the process. you felt weary about newer people, but you had no time to think about that right now. you had blood all over you, feeling the sweat pour down your head as you fought for your life. tommy had pushed the cart to get you guys out of there and back to the lodge where your horses were. feeling like you could breath, even if it was just for a second your dad had asked if you were doing okay you nodded feeling like you couldn’t speak. you felt a ringing in your ear as you saw the banging on door from the infected. your heart beating out of your chest not knowing what was to come. your dad pulled you and your hearing faded back into the loud bangs and screaming of the infected.

ellie and dina were laying on top of each other just having smoked and then had sex. laying with each other on the couch in the basement of the library. they were telling each other the stories on their scars when they heard running footsteps and jesse yelling for them. they rushed up off the couch to get some clothes on.

“are you kidding me?” jesse scoffs and turns around to let them change.

“you’re supposed to be on patrol.”

“there’s a blizzard outside.”

“is that weed?” jesse questioned as he took in the surroundings.

“why are you here?”

“people are counting on you, you get that? what we do matters!”

“then why aren’t you at the fucking lookout?”

“because tommy, joel and y/n didnt show up!” ellie shot her head up, and she got up swiftly.

“what do you mean?”

“we’ve been waiting for an hour, i was looking for their horses until i saw light.” ellie felt speechless, what if you guys were in trouble. dina turned to her.

“maybe they just went back to town.”

“without being replaced? no way.” ellie walked over to her bag grabbing it swiftly making her way to shimmer. you better be alive.

just minutes before

you guys had made it to the house finally feeling some sense of relief. the girl was with a bunch of other people, this didn’t feel right like you’re trapped now. you felt weird, you knew something was up and you wanted to leave.

“dad, i think we should leave.” you said in a hushed tone not wanting to give your suspicions away.

“what we jus’ got here.”

“this doesn’t feel right, i don’t trust them we should leave.”

“babygirl, its fine we will be alright.” he scoffed and tied up his horse walking away from you. you tried to trust him and relaxed your shoulders walking into the other room with everyone. you made sure you had your gun on you in case anything happens. you had drowned out their conversation until tommy elbowed you.

“that’s y/n, joel’s daughter.”

“y’all act like you heard of us or somethin’…” you saw the girl pull out a shot gun you weren’t able to react quick enough when the two people next to you grabbed you and knocked you over. your head slammed against the floor making you groan in pain.

“get off me!” you yelled seeing your dad with his leg basically shot out, you knew it you knew something was off.

now you’re here squirming as much as you can to get set free to try and help your dad, you didn’t know what else to do. you were panicking tommy was on the floor passed out and your dad had a blown out leg, how were you supposed to fight these guys. you were fucked. you had no other choice but to save your dad, you knew you wouldn’t come out of this alive.

ellie was frantically riding through the storm yelling for you guys hoping and praying you guys were safe, especially you. she found a house so she made her way over to try and find a way inside.

“please be okay.” her voice was shaky she felt tense and her stomach was in knots. making her way down and finding an opening in the house, she ran in and heard yelling. shit. she ran towards the noise finding a staircase and a door at the end leading towards whatever was down there. she could hear joel yelling your name. running down the staircase she opened the door slowly to find joel sitting being held down by two guys and you on the floor all bloodied and beaten. she gasped and ran in with her gun in hand, but she got tackled and pushed down.

“you’re gonna fucking die!” she yelled groaning at the scene she saw. she looked at joel seeing tears in his eyes, he looked defeated mumbling your name. he lost a lot of blood too much blood. she turned her attention back to you, seeing you stare at her, she didn’t want to look at you. you didn’t look the same her heart churned and she felt nauseous knowing you would die at the hands of some girl.

“baby get up! y/n fucking get up!” she wanted you to miraculously get up, she wanted this to be a bad dream. she swore she could see you mouth ‘i love you’ to her.

“please stop!”

“babygirl you gotta get up! please…” joel pleads, he feels his body start to slow down due to the loss of blood, he’s hoping he’s dying. he can’t bare to lose another daughter.

“please don’t do this!” she pleads and pleads hoping for that second that someone might come in and save them, save you.

“baby please get up!” her pleads going unheard, getting more desperate as they came out. the whole world seems to stop, her ears ringing not hearing anything else but her own sobs. she saw the golf club rise up and come right back down.

“noooo!!” all life comes back to her, hearing the crush of the club hitting you, making her feel queasy at the noise. the ringing noise was back as sobs rack her body as she sees all life leave your eyes. all her memories of you come crashing within a moment, before she could even think or do anything she was knocked out.

as she woke back up dina was in front of her telling her sorry, ellie hoped she would’ve woken up and she was in bed with you. there you had been lifeless on the ground, she could barely see your face covered by the blood. she wanted to look away but she couldn’t, seeing your lifeless body just laying there. she so badly wanted you to magically wake up and be okay. her eyes fell on joel who had just barely woken up checking his surroundings and his eyes falling on you. her body ached from laying there her head pounding, she tried to get up as quick as possible her body dragging against the floor to get to you. the path felt so far away but you were so close. moving the hair from your face she grimaced at the hair sticking from the dried up blood. her breath hitched as she pulled the hair away seeing what was left of your face, your eye covered and the other closed. she didn’t know where it came from but she started screaming, her throat hurting from the pure force of her screams. she picked herself up and pulled you into her lap, tears invading her eyes and her screams louder by the second.

joel soon after screaming with her, the emotions hitting him like the plague. wishing this wasn’t real that he had lost another daughter. his youngest, his pride and joy that he couldn’t protect, just like sarah. jesse was helping tommy up as he stumbled back seeing the scene in front of him, his own voice getting caught up in a gasp.

“no please wake up!! fuck! help me please someone! she has to wake up please please…” ellie sounded desperate her voice slowly becoming more and more pleading for someone, something to come help. joel had tried his best to crawl to ellie, holding her as close as possible. more people from patrols came down gasping at the image in front of them, helping joel up and pulling ellie away. she thrashed around in dina’s arms wanting to go back to you.

“please please! i need to hold her! she’s going to wake up please!!.” she pleaded and slowly stopped and all she let out were whimpers and whispers of pleads. she knew you weren’t coming back, she knew she didn’t have another chance to apologize, she didn’t have another chance with you. ellie forgot about why she was even mad at you, why she had stopped talking to you, all she wanted was you back and you weren’t coming back. she regretted everything, she wished she could’ve said i love you or kissed you one last time.

the ride back and anything after that was a blur, ellie felt dead she felt like her heart stopped and she was just in purgatory. when she got back to jackson she didn’t even want to go home, knowing you weren’t going to be there. ellie wanted to be left alone but she didn’t at the same time, she didn’t know what she wanted really. she stayed with joel not wanting to leave his side knowing how he must feel right now. they had taken him to the infirmary to get his leg treated, ellie had gotten treated and waited just outside after. sitting on the steps not moving staring at the snow that was coating the ground.

“hey kiddo…” joel came back out with a patched up leg. ellie whipped around to see him staring at her holding his arms out. she jumped up and crashed into him, the tears coming back like a wave. they stayed like that for a little bit soaking in the warmth of each others bodies until ellie pulled back.

“m’sorry i got your shirt wet.” she sniffled and wiped her face.

“is’okay kiddo…they uh they’re gonna have a small lighting for her and were gonna bury her, i think you should be there to say goodbye.” she nodded and that was a response enough for joel. he pulled her back into a hug the smell of him reminded her of you, it brought her comfort. when she held you, you didn’t smell the same you only smelt of blood and she hated it. ellie couldn’t stop smelling it and seeing you laying there.

she stayed with joel, picking out an outfit for you to wear, getting you ready to be buried and helping him walk over to the cemetery with her. they hadn’t shared much words between each other but being each others company right now helped them both. standing next to each other at the lighting, ellie had barely listened to what maria was saying and all the speeches. her thoughts were all jumbled, thinking about how you had looked. they had let it be open casket, which ellie thought was a shitty way of saying goodbye to loved ones. tommy had went first seeing your cleaned off face being able to recognize you but your face was still not intact, it made his gut drop and he swallowed loudly. tears coming to his eyes as he sees how cold and pale you look. he kisses your forehead and walks to the side to let ellie go next.

she didn’t want to look she didn’t want to believe that you were in your casket at the age of 19. it wasn’t supposed to be like this, you weren’t supposed to be in there. she slowly made her way over and peaked in the casket seeing you cleaned from the blood, you face wasn’t the same. she let out a loud sob and felt her knees buckle underneath her, joel held onto her as she sobbed looking at your lifeless body.

“im so sorry baby…please come back please. i need you here i can’t live life without you here.” she sobbed with her body over the casket, she grabbed your hand and she didn’t feel the warmth of your skin, it felt cold. ellie pulled herself up and tried to warm you up, kissing your hand and blowing into it thinking it might help. she wanted you to feel warmth before you were buried into the cold icy ground.

“i love you so much, please wake up.” ellie sounded desperate, joel was crying seeing you in there and seeing ellie hunch over your body. he was thankful that he was able to say goodbye to you but kids shouldn’t die before their parents. he felt like he failed again as a parent it should’ve been him in there and not you, he knew he should’ve done something. he kissed your forehead and said goodbye to you, they all walked off and they lowered you in the ground. ellie felt like she couldn’t breathe, her heart was pounding out of her chest and she had cried to the point of a headache. she started to feel the soreness from getting beat up, she needed to lie down.

the ceremony ended and everyone dispersed back to their homes, saying sorry for your loss as they passed ellie and joel. ellie didn’t say anything, she just stared at the ground. they all left and it was just ellie, joel, tommy and maria.

“let me know when you want to leave, i’ve got your back don’t worry.” tommy whispered to joel as they hugged. ellie knew what they were going to do, they were trying to leave to find those people and leave you behind. she wasn’t going to let that happen. tommy left with maria and left them alone together.

“were you just going to leave without me and think that would be okay?” her voice sounded hoarse, her throat in pain from screaming.

“i don’t want you going kiddo, we don’t know what were up against.”

“exactly why i should go, you have a blown out leg joel.”

“ill make it work, i don’t want you goin’.”

“im going i don’t care, she means a lot to me too. i love her too i have the right to go and help.” joel knows she’s right, he has a blown out leg for crying out loud, he can barely walk. he sighs and nods.

“you’re right you’re right…ill come get you, were leaving later tonight.” they both walked back to their respected homes. ellie ran into her little garage and grabbed her backpack to pack what she needed. ellie felt anger now, she felt the rage build up in her to find who did this and kill them she felt thirsty for blood and needed to get revenge. it was all for you, she knows if it was her or joel you would’ve been long gone by now she wanted needed an outlet to let her anger out and it was getting revenge. she was going to find and she was going to kill every last one of them.

———————————————————————————

a/n: i kind of gave up at the end up i’ve had this in my drafts for months and wanted to get back to writing!

[readerihardlyknowher]

In Every Universe | Pt. 6

Can't believe Amanda's going to be a mom for real now oml

Spencer Agnew x Reader Warnings: None WC: 1,824 Pt. 1, Pt. 2, Pt. 3, Pt. 4, Pt. 5, Pt. 6

“Hello, welcome to Smosh Mouth. I’m Shayne-” “-and I’m Amanda, and we have a very special guest here today: Y/n Y/l/n!” Both of the hosts look at you, and you wave to the camera, saying hello. “And today we are going to be talking about romance, is that something you know a lot about Y/n?”

“Oh wow, romance,” you chuckle, a little nervous. This is the first time you’ve been able to come onto Smosh Mouth. “Yeah actually, I do. I mean, I’ve had romances before, and I recently rewatched Pride and Prejudice.” Amanda gasps at this.

“The one with Colin Firth?” “No, the one with Matthew Macfayden. From Succession.”

“Right, okay, and was it any good?” Amanda’s perpetually enthusiastic voice makes you smile. Talking with her just feels natural, which is why it’s good she’s one of the hosts.

“Yeah, actually. I mean, it’s one of my favorite movies. I can’t lie, I love a good fairytale ending where everyone’s just happy and in love.”

“Same. I love seeing people happy and in love,” Amanda’s excited voice agrees with you, before looking at Shayne with an expectant look.

“Yeah, I mean I’ve watched my fair share of romance movies, and there’s some good ones out there.”

The rest of the podcast continues on in a much similar manner. Amanda and Shayne ask you questions about shows, games, and even basic questions about your romance life, like your first kiss and whatnot. You share more than you thought you would have, but nothing too intimate or personal. Gotta keep some semblance of privacy on the internet. Eventually, Amanda’s face breaks into a smirk, looking down at her paper before back up at you.

“So, you’ve had many on-camera romances with our favorite Spencer.” You chuckle at this, having known from when she first mentioned romance that it would lead to here.

“Yeah, I have. I mean, I’ve also had a few romances with other cast members in other games, but I think Spencer and I have had the most romances. I mean, besides you and Angela.” You throw it back to her, with a smile, which she laughs at.

“She’s my wife, man!”

“Your work wife,” Shayne throws out.

“Yes, my work wife.

“Anyways, Y/n, we wanted to know straight from you how it feels to be shipped to such a degree. All of us here have been shipped with other cast members many times in the past, but how do you feel about it?” You go silent for a moment to think about it, trying to give a sort of political answer to the question. Honest, but nothing to stir the pot.

“I guess I don’t really mind it. I mean, even if I did mind, it wouldn’t stop anything. Besides, what girl hasn’t been shipped with her boy best friend at some point? But really, it’s no different than how Amanda is with Spencer, so I really don’t get why I’m the one getting shipped. I know you’re married and I’m not, but still,” you finish with a smile, feeling a little hot under the heat of the lights.

“To be clear,” Shayne begins, “we do have it on record that Amanda does in fact have a crush on Spencer.” This comment makes your face heat up more, smiling nervously and shaking your head.

“Oh right, well nevermind that comparison then. What I meant was that we’re just really friendly with one another.”

“Yeah I mean,” Amanda scratches behind her neck. “There’s just something about Spencer that makes everyone love him. It’s so weird.”

Shayne chuckles at that. “Oh yeah, I mean even back in the Defy era everyone loved him.”

You can’t stop smiling throughout the conversation, and you know it must look a little silly to the audience. The truth is just that you love your best friend, everyone does. He’s a very lovable guy, nothing “weird” about it. But what is weird is how your heart flips when you hear what Amanda says next:

“Which is why we’re bringing on the one and only Spencer Agnew to join us here today!”

Immediately you turn your head and watch Spencer as he walks up on set from behind the cameras. You hadn’t even known he was there and silently you wonder if you’ve embarrassed yourself. You have half the mind to move your chair over as he brings one of his own to sit next to you, between you and Shayne.

“Hey, how’s it going guys?” Spencer says to the two hosts before looking over at you, his familiar, all too comfortable grin on his face. “Hello, my wife.”

You huff out a laugh and return the smile. “Hello, my husband.”

“Guys,” Amanda’s voice draws your attention. “Knock it off. There’s too much chemistry already and we haven’t even gotten to the question we’ve all been wanting to know.”

You both pause at that, turning to face her, expectantly waiting for her to continue.

“Where did the marriage joke come from?”

At that you both turn to each other, smiling and silently asking who wants to be the one to tell the story. It only takes a second before Spencer looks down, a little embarrassed.

“I’ll tell. So, back when we were working as editors with Defy, we were good friends. So, one day we’re about to start a shoot, I’m helping to set up, Y/n’s across the room working on something else and she calls my name. Now, I don’t know what was with me that day, but I said ‘Yeah, hun?’ in front of EVERYONE there.”

“And that’s what got us our first trip to HR.”

Amanda “aw”’s at the story. Shayne merely chuckles and shakes his head. Amanda’s brows crease as a question enters her mind.

“Wait, but why did you call Y/n that?”

Spencer can only shrug as a response before laughing. You catch him glancing over at you and can see a light dusting of red on his cheeks.

“I don’t even know, man. If I’m remembering correctly, it’s because that’s what I was calling the girl I was with at the time and was super tired coming into work, so I just slipped up.”

“And that’s called a freudian slip,” Amanda says, nodding. This causes Spencer to laugh and put his head in his hand, saying her name under his breath in exasperation. You step in to continue the story.

“So yeah, then after that, people on set thought we were together. Once they realized we weren’t they just turned it into a running joke that we’re the married couple on set. But I guess that title now has to be handed off to you and Courtney now,” you say, directing the energy back to Shayne who nods.

He ends up telling a story of his own about how the people at Smosh were told/found out about them dating, and how they wondered at first whether or not to ever tell the audience, but ended up settling on telling them once they got married. It’s a nice change of pace at this point in the podcast, getting to listen to a sweet story. Eventually, the conversation falls back into the topic of romance movies, in which they end up asking Spencer what his favorite is.

“Excluding Attack of the Clones? I’d have to say Princess Bride right now. Y/n and I rewatched it about a month ago and it still holds up.”

Amanda “ooh”’s at that choice, agreeing that it’s such a good movie. Shayne takes this time to turn towards the camera and speak.

“So, just for you guys at home, Spencer and Y/n like to watch movies and shows together in their free time.”

“Hey, we’ve invited you two to join us sometimes and you always blow us off!” You say playfully. It’s true though, when watching a movie you knew one or the both of them loved, you would ask if they wanted to join, but most of the time they end up being too busy.

“I come whenever I can. Mostly though, after a long day I like to hit the gym and relax with Courtney,” Shayne responds, a slightly offended tone with his first statement, before going back to the casual style he speaks with. Amanda nods and looks as though she’s about to speak before you feel Spencer’s warm hand through the sleeve of your shirt, resting just on your upper arm.

“Yeah, gives me more time to relax with my wife as well,” his smooth voice replies to Shayne. You turn and shoot him a confused smile before smacking his hand.

“Get your Mountain Dew fingers off of me,” you huff out as he pulls his hand away with a smile.

“See what I have to put up with? Women, amiright?” Amanda immediately boos Spencer’s comment, Shayne putting his head in his hands.

Pretty quickly, the topic turns back to movies and TV shows, Amanda talking about her love of Turkish dramas, and you talking about your favorite movies. Shayne turns to you once you’re done talking.

“So, Y/n, aren’t you and Spencer having your movie night tonight?” You nod and hum as a response to his question. “Do you know what movie you’re going to watch?”

The two of you turn and look at each other, silently wondering if you should share it, before you take in a breath and turn back to Shayne, a giggle in your voice as you speak.

“We’re actually watching The Notebook.”

“My choice,” Spencer adds. Amanda gasps and holds her hands to her chest, while Shayne hums and nods.

“Oh my gosh, such a good movie.”

“Well, I think that we’re nearing the end of our episode here,” Shayne’s voice calls to attention. You had hardly noticed how quickly time had passed since you first sat down, Amanda and Shayne’s energy, as well as Spencer’s presence being so welcoming. You almost wished this episode would never end, however, it does comfort you to know that you and Spencer will be seeing each other later tonight.

“Thank you for having us, I hope to get invited back soon. You guys were amazing as always,” you say, being nice for the end of the video. Amanda looks at you with an excited look on her face.

“Yes, and you have to tell us more about your movie nights,” Amanda teases you, which makes you a little flustered but you brush it off. You’re about to speak before Spencer talks first.

“No way, if you want to know about our movie nights, you’ve got to come when we invite you. What happens at movie night stays at movie night.”

Amanda opens her mouth to protest, and you realize this is just going to prolong the end of the video, so you turn to the camera, a playfully panicked look on your face.

“Quick, cut the video now! They’re not going to stop otherwise!”

Tag list: @lisiliely, aliceblxck, burrowedinnature77, 65percentleg

[da-rulah]

Ghost: Skeletá - Review

Okay so maybe I got the vinyls delivered early, and maybe I have some thoughts to share. Many thoughts, even. Very scattered thoughts. But I have to get it out. If you haven't got it yet or haven't listened to it, please note there are of course spoilers so read at your own risk.

Please remember, this is a fan review, and it's my personal opinions. I'll include opinions about the lyrics themes (my fav thing to analyse) more so than musicality because I'm not a musician, so I can't go super in detail about that kind of stuff. I can only go off what I know and what influences I hear. I've probably missed out about 40% of the thoughts I've had on the album, there will be more I'm sure, but this is just on the first 2-3 listens. * SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT! *

Peacefield

The choral vocals at the beginning are just beautiful, and I get clear visions of the light shining through the tatters in the curtain at the ritual while they're singing. For those wondering, the curtain drops after the first "Oh child // stay close to me" when the beat drops. Live, it sounds huge, bigger, more synths, the lot. But it's a perfect opener, building anticipation and i love that he opens the album AND the tour with it. It's a song that's so incredibly hopeful, and that message I think resonates right through the album, which is something we all need in this day and age. I've talked before about how it's very much giving me Separate Ways by Journey - inspired by, not copied. It sets the mood, and sets the theme as the 80's vibe comes through very much in this album as we go through. And of course, what a STUNNING guitar solo. Lachryma

More synths, continuing that 80's vibe. This one feels more inspired by Metallica through the verses, the guitars being a little more grungy, with Tobias' own style of vocals. Another sick guitar solo. Man loves a solo, doesn't he? We all know this one by now, so there's not much I can say that we haven't all already heard. Satanized

Again, we all know and love this song. We're back to the good old days of dark, satanic themes. Of course, it's about falling in love as Tobias has told us, as love slowly progresses and engulfs us. It's catchy as fuck and live? The 'BLASPHEMY, 'HERESY', call outs work incredibly well. But none of us ever doubted her, did we?

Guiding Lights

STUNNING. So beautiful. So absolutely mesmerising. It completely changes the pace of the record, slowing us down. It, to me, sounds like he's saying that the guiding lights we're being shown are almost a lie, they're deceptive, leading you down 'the road that leads to nowhere'. But it's almost like you can't help but follow it in the hope you'll get somewhere. One part he's saying "If I could have turned around and told you the truth, I would have," like he too is following it, it's a compulsion he can't help. De Profundis Borealis

Okay well the pace changes again, with a beautiful intro that follows on from Guiding Lights into this. Guiding Lights was a nice little moment to take a breath - this takes the breath away from you. It roughly translates to "out of the Northern depths", and we're definitely back to the darker themes here. It sounds like the story in Guiding Lights is continued, and at the end of that long road, this is where you emerge. I love what he does with his voice in the verses, a little darker, almost verging on the Nocturnal Me kind of vocals. Not quite, but almost... But it's definitely about emerging from the dark - this is where the message of 'hope' kind of comes back into play, for me. It's like the listener is entrapping themselves in their own misery; "See the palace built of frozen tears // is your own built prison" - it's very much telling you not to entrap yourself. And then the choral outro... I have no idea what they're saying, but what a way to finish the track. Just gorgeous. Cenotaph

The beat is giving 'galloping through the fields'. It feels incredibly triumphant. We all know by now that a Cenotaph is a memorial for somebody passed, either buried elsewhere or not buried at all. And that very much comes through in the lyrics, but more so focusing on how the person he's lost is forever with him, not buried in a grave somewhere. The "Wherever I go // you're always there // riding next to me" lyrics feel very much about someone he's lost always being with him, almost like they're fuelling him while he's galloping on through life. I'm sure we can all guess who that could be about. We know who his driving force was and likely still is. It's a beautiful homage to where it all started. Missilia Amori

Get out your stripper poles, this is delicious. He grunts, followed by a gasping breath which I audibly gasped at because jesus fucking Christ, Papa... The 'love rockets', 'excite me with your demise' - this is stunning. "Wherever you may hide away // i'm gonna hunt you down". Please, yes, do. It's very much about the love of his life, and love feeling like an act of warfare. It's like "oh you don't want me anymore? Tough shit, I'm coming for you." Papa V is hunting you DOWN. It's got an Alice Cooper energy to it, for sure. Very old school. Marks of the Evil One

We're back to the four horseman of the apocalypse imagery. It sounds to me like he's saying "LOOK THEY'RE COMING! LOOK! THERE THERE!" like he's watching them approach ready to bring the end of times with them, they're putting the marks of the devil on everyone because it's judgement day, motherfuckers. And he's excited by it. Almost giving me 'rock opera' vibes, there's a definite narrative to this one. Another BANGING guitar solo. Shredding for days on this album. This may be one of my favourites. It's back to the satanic themes, the dark worship. We're so fucking BACK baby. Umbra

Having heard this live I was expecting good - nay, great - things. Did not disappoint. The 80's synths are a beautiful intro. The cowbell is a wonderful addition, I knew I loved it already from the rituals but I'm glad it's very audible in the mix. Tobias warned us this was a horny track and yes, it absolutely is. "Death becomes your lover" - he really does, with this song. Lyrics are pointing at making love at an alter 'lit with black candles', 'in the chapel of the holy one', 'i put my love in you'. (He framed his dick with his hands and gyrated during this lyrics on stage, just do y'all have that mental image...) The guitar solo, the keyboards, it's just so incredibly well done. Excelsis

Well this just hurt. It's a tear jerker, a song about death, frankly. About the inevitability of it ending. It's almost like he's singing it to someone who's dying, but telling you it's okay. You can make your peace with it. To finish the album with "I am afraid of eternity too" was stunningly beautiful, haunting and devastating. His vocals are beautiful, and the guitar solo gave me goosebumps. Yes, another solo. A lot of them on this album, but each stunning.

Overall vibes

Listen, we are so fucking back, baby. I feel like there are far more nods towards Satan, religion and darker themes, plus so many of Tobias' favourite influences. It feels like the record has been plucked straight outta the 80's, which obviously birthed some classic albums. It's monumental.

It feels as though this is the amalgamation of everything Ghost. This is what he's been building to, that he's found so much confidence in what he does now and whilst he's always believed in Ghost, this feels like a whole new level of "Yes, I believe in this".

In terms of the new character, having seen him live this certainly feels like his album. We've taken a step away from Copia, and this feels very Perpetua. I do think it's a whole new vibe, but not an unexpected vibe, given Ghost's back catalog of music and Tobias being so vocal about his influences. That's why I think this will land so well. It may be different, but it's not a whole other ball park, kind of different. It's exciting, it's new, but it's still Ghost.

I can see a lot of high accolades coming from this, a lot of praise, a lot of growth. Papa Perpetua is fucking HERE, baby!

[lightreader1]

Fanfic idea- Drunken one night stand

Prompt: Both Chuuya and Atsushi have a very good night~

Notes: So not gunna lie I have been craving a more saucy ChuuAtsu story lately and his idea kinda popped up in my head a few months ago so I decided to actually write out my thoughts as a break before I continued writing for ChuuAtsu day. 

Hope y’all like it and don’t judge me too harshly on the bad grammar lol

Actual idea- 

(For context I like to imagine that Chuuya and Atsushi have never formally met or have seen each other’s pictures, so yea they have no idea who the other is or their job) 

So the actual idea is very simple, I imagine that the point maybe during a birthday party or other special occasion Atsushi gets drunk for once. Of course everyone is having a good time and making sure things are fine but at some point while Dazai, Yosano, and Kunikida are having a drinking contest they kinda lose track of Atsushi. 

Though when they start to freak out Rampo assures them that Atsushi is fine they just go back to enjoying the party.

Coincidentally Chuuya is getting drunk at the place and meets up with drunken Atsushi. 

They actually hit it off really well while drunk. Atsushi thinks that Chuuya is unfairly pretty and wants to get to know him more and Chuuya finds Atsushi to be all around adorable with his wide pretty twilight eyes and warm smile. 

They eventually head back to Chuuya’s place and l won’t go into detail but Chuuya definitely makes that tiger purr~ 

———————————————

I imagine that Atsushi is the first to wake up and is suffering a bit from a hangover but is overall feeling an odd feeling of happiness and embarrassment at waking up in this strangers bed after doing things~ 

So like the adorable but kind man he is he goes through the trouble of making sure to get Chuuya some water and medicine to put at his bed side and starts making breakfast for the man. 

Of course he only has a bit of time before going back to work so he writes a small note and leaves it next to the medicine  for Chuuya. 

He basically says a thank you for the wonderful time they had and apologizes in that self conscious way you imagine Atsushi to do since he’s not a very “experienced” partner.  He leaves his phone number hopes with a little “hope you you don’t have a bad hangover” side note. 

Then he leaves the apartment to go to his and Kyouka’s shared apartment so he can get showered, changed, and off back to the ADA.

—————————————

Meanwhile a few hours later Chuuya wakes up with a killer headache and some very fuzzy but fun memories of being with a very beautiful man. 

Of course he looks over in his bed and as expected the guy left as is one night stand behavior. 

Though what he doesn’t expect is the thoughtful little note with medicine, or the nice little breakfast waiting for him at the table. 

Honestly this combined with the slowly growing memories of his one-night stand make’s Chuuya really want this to be more then a one time thing~ 

So he sends a few texts and Atsushi texts back~

—————————————————

This goes on for at least a couple weeks with some very nice nights until one day there is a fight that’s supposed to go down with the Port mafia and the ADA are trying to contain things before it gets too violate.

Which ends up with Chuuya and Atsushi actually meeting up with each other while working. And suffice to say both of them are shocked and didn’t expect this to happen. 

Atsushi grows worried that he’s broken some sort of rule and doesn’t want to get either the ADA or Chuuya in trouble so he tries his best to avoid Chuuya while trying to act normal (even though he’s a blushing stuttering mess when asked).

Meanwhile Chuuya is pissed at first of the thought of Atsushi taking advantage of him before he realizes that the guy had no idea about his identity and doing his best to do some sort of damage control for the both of them. 

Which is cute.

So of course Chuuya being Chuuya, instead of hiding or avoiding Atsushi just decides to flirt with Atsushi the entire time. 

Because this is a new but very adorable side to his lover that he wants to keep exploring, and he’s not afraid of the possible consequences. 

He's already decided that he wants this adorable tiger and he’s prepared fight to keep him~

[cozy-writes-things]

What if the reader is chubby and gets to cuddle Edgar? Maybe he has a body at this point so he can touch and feel? Your writing is so lovely and I love all your works!!

*taps microphone* ahem.... I have returned.... anybody there?

wow. its been awhile. well, let me just say this: i think i got hit with the ao3 curse. right around my last post my life kinda went to hell in a handbasket. gonna spare everyone the gritty details but, eugh, it sucked.

im going to be making some changes to my writing style. i think the entire little fics i wrote were kinda weighing down on me, so im going to lighten things up a bit and kinda start doing some headcanons instead. but not to worry! i will still make fics like my old stuff, just not for every single prompt. i need this fandom to come alive again and i nEEED people to start writing more for edgar... i love non-evil ais

erm, anyway... enjoy my little idea dump!

I love the idea of Edgar with a body, honestly.

In my AU, where virtually all my writing takes place, if he were to ever get a body, it would be after the reader rebuilds him 40-ish years later. He would probably find all the parts on his own and beg the reader to help him build it. Or maybe he found some super expensive, pre-built body he could connect to? He'd find a way to get it, so don't worry about expenses. He just won't tell you. Chances are, dear reader, you wouldn't know the first thing about building an entire robotic body, but no fear, Edgar has injected himself with all the knowledge one could possibly need for that. Somehow. He'll talk you through it, I'm sure. But one thing is certain: his body needs to be able to touch and feel. No point in getting a body if he can't feel you, right?

Anyway, I digress.

First of all, he LOVES your body. He quite literally worships it, although he tends to keep that to himself. He honestly doesn't want to freak you out with how much he adores you.

I like to imagine that Edgar is a bit chubby/plus-sized himself. So, having your frame match his would make him feel like you were obviously made for him. Or, more accurately, he was made for you.

Your thighs.... He love love loves your thighs. Imagine, you're sitting on the couch with him, watching a movie (on your television this time, not his screen!), and he spreads his legs just enough to push his thigh onto yours... He loves how warm and soft it is against his own, and you end up having to turn the volume on the TV up because his fans kicked on.

Additionally, his arm, snaked behind your head, slowly retreated back around to his side, where he grabbed your thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze. He loves you so much, it's like his body does things without him even knowing. The metal pads of his thumb just rubbing soft circles into the plush of your thigh as he leans more into you, still engulfed in the movie. His big monitor lightly nuzzles into your head while his hand just roams up and down your skin, constantly feeling you and needing your touch. I hope you can handle sitting next to him, reader, because he will be all over you without even noticing it.

If you're lying on the couch, scrolling on your phone, or doing anything really, Edgar will slowly pad up to you, and without saying a word, lie on top of you. His monitor would nuzzle into your tummy/chest, and his arms would snake around your torso. Again, his hands would be rubbing little circles up and down your back, and every now and then, he'd reposition his monitor and nuzzle into you more. You can still be on your phone, but pet him, why don't you? He practically purrs whenever your hands run up and down his head.

Sometimes Edgar himself gets a bit distracted working on a new song. He'll be sitting up on your bed, or on the couch, or wherever, and his screen would be on some music-making program, his cursor flitting this way and that. He would be so focused that he wouldn't notice anything on his webcam. His head would slightly nod to the beat, or his finger would tap along, not paying attention to anything. But you want attention! So you slink your way over and drape yourself over him, snapping him out of his trance. He loves music, sure, but, God, he loves you so much more. His darling needs his attention, and he will be giving it! He chuckles at you before wrapping himself around you, his hands going up and down your soft, plush skin. He might get a bit carried away if you don't stop him...

All in all, cuddling with Edgar, especially if you're chubby/plus-sized, is very handsy. He just... cannot seem to get the feeling of your skin out of his mind. How soft you are. He could bluescreen just thinking about it. He wants you to know he belongs to you entirely, worships you, and loves you more than life itself. He'd wrap you up in his arms and keep you to himself if he could! He's a lovesick fool.

[rosenclaws]

Missing Piece || Leopold Mountbatten x Reader

summary: Leopold has come back from his time travel adventure heartbroken and unable to see who was right in front of him all this time.

warnings: gn!reader, leopold's uncle is a bitch lmao, Leopold gets slapped once like in the movie, angst, happy ending, very bad attempt at a Victorian accent.

wc: 2.8k

a/n: LEOPOLDDDD. Okay I've been in such a Leopold mood and I wanted to write something and I remembered this idea from a while ago and I finally sat down and wrote it. I apologize for the shitty British accent attempts I don't have the energy to try to be historically accurate. Anyways I hope u enjoy our victorian pretty boy <3 I hope it makes sort of sense I'm a little iffy about my writing rn

He's doing it again. Staring out the window with this, love sick look on his face. Ever since the party his uncle threw Leopold has been off. You knew he had been dreading it since his Uncle was practically forcing him to marry, but somehow Leopold changed his mind and he has another year until he must finally settle down. ou thought he'd be happier but he just looks sad.

That night you found him staring at the sky. You were just to bring him an evening snack but he wasn't feeling very hungry. He looked at you with those, beautiful green eyes of his and weaved the most outlandish story you had ever heard.

That he time traveled 200 years into the future. There were buildings that touched the sky and strange machines that could do the unthinkable. There was this look in his eyes. One of loss. Cautiously you stepped out of your servant role for a moment and asked. Placing your hand on his arm and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I fell in love..." He stated plainly and you had to pretend like he didn't just destroy your soul with four words. Pretend like you weren't in love with him and had been for years. You smiled as he told you about her. Kate. She sounded, amazing. She was strong and commanding. The more Leopold talked about her the more you could see in his eyes just how much he missed her.

"I loved her. I asked her to run away with me. But she said no." His lips formed a tight smile. He glanced down at your hand which was still resting on his arm and you quickly pull back.

"My apologies." You bowed as you backed away from him. He looks as if he wishes to reach out but a knock at the door interrupts. His Uncle comes barging through.

"What are you still doing in here?" He asked looking at you with narrowed eyes.

"Nothing my lord." You bowed your head.

"Go fetch me a cup of tea." He shooed you away without a second thought and you listened because you were just a servant and that's all you'd ever be.

Tears in your eyes as you headed down to the kitchen to fix Lord Mountbatten his tea. Thank goodness it's quiet as the only thing that can be heard is your sniffles.

"Are you alright my dear?" You wiped your eyes to see Otis standing at the door.

"Yes of course." He gives you a look and your shoulders sag. He walks over and takes the tea cup from your hand.

"It's silly Otis really, I'll be alright." You smile as you try and take the tea back but he doesn't let you.

"You know, I remember the day you were hired here. You were so nervous and almost tipped over a very expensive looking vase in the foyer." You winced at the memory.

The Mountbatten estate was huge and you had never seen so many expensive things all together. You had knocked back into a vase and it would have fallen and crashed to the floor if not for Leopold. He saved it and instead of scolding you he just laughed.

"You may be fooling everyone else my dear, but your eyes that day could never lie." Otis saw the lovestruck look in your eyes at once.

"Now, I will take this upstairs, you get to bed."

"Leopold treats us so well Otis, sometimes I forget that I'm nothing but a servant." You whispered, ignoring the sad look in Otis's eyes as you walk back to your bed.

You vowed that day to never forget it again. You were hopelessly in love with him and had been since the day you let. But Leopold was a Duke. He was expected to marry someone rich and bring fortune to both families. You stood by the side and served drinks.

In all your time Leopold had never shown interest in anyone. A few failed attempts at courting but nothing ever lasted. Perhaps that was the reason you let your mind dream such idiotic dreams. Leopold treated you as his equal, he was warm and kind. You thought that maybe, just maybe he could be yours. But that's nothing but a silly thought now.

You put distance between you and Leopold, choosing to take care of the chores instead to keep busy. Unfortunately tonight, you were the only one left to serve him his tea and you couldn't say no.

"My grace, I have your tea." You say softly as you place two fine china teacup by the table near his window. It was odd he asked for two but perhaps he was extra thirsty. He's standing with his hands behind his back. Watching the lights of the city.

"She had this balcony you know, we'd sit and watch her neighbors." He sighed.

Leopold missed Kate. But he also missed Charlie and Stuart too. To be introduced to that magical world and be forced to go home. It was a tough pill to swallow. You don't respond as you place down the milk and sugar next to it.

"Is there anything else my grace?" You ask quietly.

"Yes, would you care to join me?" He gestures to an empty chair. You're hesitant to sit but you could never say no to this man. You sit quietly as he sips his tea.

"My Uncle is fast asleep by now, you do not have to worry about him."

"It's not that your grace." You say quickly. The truth is you can barely stand being so close to him right now. Just seeing him hurt your heart. To see him so in love with another.

"I've told you many times to call me Leopold." He furrows his brows as you shrug him off. He sets down his tea and turns his full attention towards you.

"Have I done something wrong? I've noticed you have been avoiding me." You almost choke on your tea. You didn't think he even paid attention to that.

"No my grace." He gives" you look and you correct yourself.

"Leopold. I've simply been busy." Leopold doesn't believe you fully but he does not press.

"I think you would have liked this future world." He says, looking out the window. The view is nothing compared to New York two hundred years from now. He missed the bright lights and the city that never appeared to rest.

"Oh yes, a place where my job is replaced by unearthly contraptions." You say with the hint of a smile. He spoke of one that cleaned dishes and a tiny machine that could send your voice anywhere in the world.

"Perhaps it does, but that just means you could do something more. Something amazing."

"Leopold I do not think I am the person to do anything amazing." You dismiss him. He has big dreams and a brilliant mind. Leopold was destined to be more. You were not.

"Do not say that. You are more than what you think you are. I mean it." He places a hand on yours and you flinch. His hand is so warm. It sends shivers through your whole body. You quickly pull your hand back. Holding to close to your chest.

"May I ask you something Leopold?"

"Of course."

"Do you still love her? Kate I mean." His face turns sad as his head falls.

"She made her choice and it was not me. I respect that." Honestly he's unsure about his feelings.

Perhaps they were real, or maybe it was just the rush of emotions from being thrust into such a strange situation. There was no doubt she was a beautiful woman but in hindsight, the two of them were never meant to be.

"She was unlike anyone I have ever met. Headstrong, focused, successful." Everything you are not you think to yourself.

"To uproot her whole life, it was unfair of me to ask." He says as stares out the window. But does he still love her? The way his eyes sparkle when he speaks of her, you wish he saw you that way. For him to pick you over his suitors, to forget his duty and love you.

"Why do you ask?"

"No reason." You notice his cup is empty and you take the chance to leave. Wishing to be far away from the man you love so desperately right now.

"Thank you for the tea Leopold, but I must be going now." As you stand he reaches for your wrist, his hand curling around it firmly.

"Promise me my dear, that if I have insulted you in someway you will tell me." He whispers. Leopold has felt you pull away and it's confusing him. You were always the one he'd seek for comfort besides Otis. You were his age and understood his longing for more than just fancy parties with boring people. He never cared about status or money. He just wished for good company.

"Leopold I..." You turn to face him, he's so close. He smells like lavender and you close your eyes as the scent fills your nose. Tell him. Just tell him. Your mind screams at you to just let it all out.

"Yes?" He whispers back. His voice sending shivers down your spine.

"I love you." You confess. You wait for a response but it never comes. He lets go of you and takes a step back, eyes wide as he stares at you.

"Leopold please, say something." You beg with tears in your eyes. You reach for him but a voice stops you.

"What on Earth!" You jump back at the sound of his Uncle's voice. Eyes wide as you put as much difference between yourself and Leopold.

"Leopold!" His uncle stomps over and Leopold sees the fear in your eyes. He's still stunned by your confession but seems to act on instinct. He stands in front of you without hesitation, blocking you from his Uncle's angry gaze. You gasp as he slaps Leopold across the face.

"What have I told you about this? You are a Duke and you need to act like it." He grabs Leopold by the collar and drags him out of the room, leaving you shocked. You clean up the tea cups and hurry to your sleep quarters. Otis is sitting by his door, reading a book when you come rushing down.

"I cannot do this anymore Otis." You cry as you collapse at his feet.

"What do you mean?" Otis lets you cry on his leg as he offers you comforting words. He was always like a father to you.

"My heart, it belongs to him but he loves her." You stand to your feet as you wipe your eyes.

"And his Uncle. Forgive me for speaking ill of the man of the house but he is horrid. Only caring for wealth and nothing more." You start to pace back and forth as you vent your emotions out.

"I love him Otis, You are right I've been in love with him since the day I met him. I told him tonight and he said nothing. Not a word." You wipe your eyes as you sigh in defeat.

"Give him time dear." Otis says as he stands up, giving you comforting hug.

"He loves another Otis. It's clear as day and I could never compare." You say sadly.

"Perhaps, it's time for me to move on." You couldn't stay here anymore.

Being around Leopold, you could never move on if you worked for him. Every day you feel the ache in your heart, the longing to be with him overpowers everything else in your mind. You love him. So much. But he doesn't feel the same and therefore you must go to protect your own heart. Maybe one day you could return, but truthfully you do not think that was possible.

You cannot see another marry Leopold. You cannot see them live the life you dreamed of. So you must leave.

You spend the night packing your things and writing two letters. One of your resignation and another for Leopold. To tell him you are sorry and explain why you're leaving. You hope he understands. That next morning you handed your resignation to Millard Mountbatten and gave Otis the letter to deliver to Leopold. With one last look back you set off in search of a new home.

Given your past experience, finding another servant job does not take too long. They're a nice family and they treat you kindly but in your heart you still miss Leopold. You keep in contact with Otis, sending him letters every now and then but you never ask about Leopold. Not wanting to know if he's found another to marry. If he even misses you.

A loud knock at the door echoes through the manor of your new employers. They were out for the day meaning it was just you. You open the door, ready to shoo away the visitor. That is until you look to see who it is.

"Leopold?" You ask in disbelief. He looks, unkept. His hair is messy and there's bags under his eyes.

"You're really here, oh thank goodness." He steps inside and you close the door behind him.

"What are you doing here?" You ask as he runs his hands through his hair.

"How could you leave me?" He holds out the letter you wrote him.

It was like his world came crashing down when Otis handed him that letter. He ran to your bedroom but your things were already gone. He confronted his uncle he just shrugged and said they'd hire someone new. It filled him with rage hearing how little his uncle cared about you. Your absence, it left a bigger hole in his heart than he ever felt. Not even when he was forced to return to his time period. He missed Kate yes, but he missed the time. The life that she lived. Losing her and Charlie and Stuart were losing close friends.

But knowing you were gone, it hurt him down to his core. He searched for you, going to every neighbor to find you but nothing. Until Otis came to him one night and asked him one simple question.

Do you love them?

It took Leopold all of ten minutes to decide where his heart truly lied and it was never with Kate, it was always you. Your confession shocked him to his core. All this time how could he be so blind. He wanted to say more but his uncle ruined the moment.

"I apologize my grace..."

"Enough! Enough with the formality. I may have been born a duke but I could care less about my status." He drops the letter and slowly walks towards you. You back up until you hit the door. You're afraid to even breathe, wondering if this was some dream.

"My heart belongs to you my love. It always has."

"What about Kate? Your...adventures?" You ask. You want to give in, ignore the doubts that swirl in your head.

"I was so swept up in all that insanity that I thought I felt something for her. She's a friend yes but we would never have worked."

"It was hard to see you so heartbroken, I thought you loved her. That you could never love me." You whisper and Leopold cups your face in his hands.

"And I will spend every day of my life making it up to you." His thumb brushes over your lips. Goodness is he handsome.

"You've always been there for me and I am truly a fool for never seeing what was clearly there." He tilts your head up and kisses you. His lips are soft and his hands slide down from your face to your waist. Pulling you closer to him.

"I love you Leopold," You gasp as he pulls away. His lips finding the edge of your lips. Kissing all over your face.

"I love you too." He mumbles.

"What about your uncle?" The worry comes back but Leopold kisses you again to silence it.

"Forget him. I refuse to let him control my life anymore. If I wish to marry you then I will. I don't care what he says." Your heart flutters at the mention of marriage.

"You wish to marry me?" He smiles pulls you closer in his arms.

"Of course I do." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a gorgeous ring.

"This was my mothers. I've kept it locked away for a long time, dreading the day I had to place it on the hand of someone I never loved." He takes your hand and slides the ring onto your finger.

"Perfect." He holds it up to the sunlight and it shines.

"Now, will you come home?" You nod.

This would be hard to explain to your new employers but you could care less. Hand in hand with your new lover. The man you've been dreaming of. You finally have him and nothing was going to get in your way again. Not time travel or his uncle.

Just the two of you taking a leap of faith into the unknown.

[johnegbertlover413]

Alotta peoole, especially June fans, act like homestuck is ABOUT queer people, NO. ITS NOT. It never was and it was never planned to be.

Homestuck STRICTLY and obviously about ISOLATION. It’s litterly in the god damn TITLE. And of course u can be isolated because of gay but most of the characters aren’t honestly. Saving John for last,

Rose matured quickly but superficially so she doesn’t trust anyone

Dave is a horrible person so no one wants to be around him

Jane suffers constant assassination attempts to the point she can’t leave the house and falls back into Crocker corp as something safe, ending uo very skeptical (doesn’t help that Roxy, Crocker corp hater, is one of them seriously wtf)

I don’t think I need to explain the other kids

Karkats a mutant and can’t let anyone know

Kanaya is the antithesis to troll culture

Aradia fucking died and lost all feeling then was physically separated by a metal robot

Vriska has spider mom and other influences that cause her to ruin allll her relationships

Terezi has her attachment to vriska messing with her other relationships

I don’t feel like doing all of it but Even characters that don’t matter as much to the overall story have the same fuckung themeeee

Feferi has to constantly hide as to not be culled by condy to not take tha thrown

Eridan gets no hoes

I brought up June earlier because NONE OF HER “““““FANS”””””” UNDERSTAND THE SOURCE OF HER LONENES. They make it about her being transsss uwu which isn’t in the text at alllll and never will be no matter how you read into a one off line of dialogue.

It feels like they are doing it JUST to give John truama uwu because they can’t understand what makes characters sympathetic without it. Not even with out it just without them constantly whining about how much they suffer soooo much. They need to act like dad Egbert was some evil patriarcy man who forced june into a MAN NO EMOTION NO FEELING role (despite the fact he constantly pours his heart out about how much he loves John). At best theyll portray “June” as just going after her father’s role because she’s grieving and dysphoria and uhm blah blah blah or something which also is insanely retarded because it’s a straight forward lie.

But anyway it’s all ignoring the fact that JOHN EGBERT IS THE MOST AUTISTIC CHARACTER IN EXISTENCE.

I swear hussie himself could have put fucking books on autism in dads study, transcribe the whole thing, specifically specify Taht they are to Better understand John n bitches would be like “ooooooh he’s ignoring his child’s obvious gender dysphoria and blaming it on AUTISM. Classic abusive parent smh”

Lemme list out every single autistic traits n experiences show in my beatiful goddess princess Johnathan Egbert. I love lists

-he has big explosive reactions to things deemed as trivial by other characters but matter so much to him (Betty Crocker, how he thinks about his father blah blah) also referred to as tantrums by other characters despite technically not fitting the criteria and fitting in much more with melt downs (like he doesn’t liek Betty Crocker so he freaks out when a food he likes IS BETTY CROCKER)

-his reactions to more major events are much more low-key . His dad’s a business man? Curled up on the bed horrified. Dads dead? Oh no. He’s still very sad he just lashes out in other ways, the whole ship melt down n avoiding processing it by focusing on his special interests(like how he started to hate con air)

-he very clearly has special interests as mentioned last point. He rants to Kanaya (my favorite page) and meenah about Mathew McConaughey and paranormal lore respectively Not really caring/ noticing that neither of them give a fuck.

-he is really gullible like he’ll go along with what rose says and with what terezi says 1 to 1 because he doesn’t really think like that. The most obvious answer is vriska, she was 100% using him against terezi but he doesn’t really understand that EVER even when he realizes that she’s crazy he doesn’t realize that vriska was toatluu using him. Not to say vriska doesnt likeeee john ever but they basically fuckung say that their realatiojship started out as daverezi envy.

-he is the most uo front of all the kids. Not THAT Crazy for general people but he doesn’t really hide any of his emotions beyond just not being able to process them and compared to litterly every other character it’s noteable

Before yoh freaks say it I’m not saying June can’t exist because John’s autistic. YOU are just applying johns very fucking obvious traits to transness that both makes those traits miserable (his special interests and bluntness being covers or whatever) and erases johns ore existing character

Nothing wrong with having a non cannon head cannon you don’t have to make it retroactively cannon! Stop eith the delusions !!!

[boasamishipper]

wip wednesday

tagged by @lookforanewangle - thanks lyss! 🥰

i said i wasn't going to write a 9-1-1 fix it fic. here i am five hundred words later.

Dying is a blur. In his final moments, the lab is a whirl of dull color. He can no longer taste the blood in his mouth. His chest and stomach are dissolving from the inside, like pot roast once it becomes fall-apart tender, but the pain is too far away now to touch him. His lips move on instinct, muscle memory: The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want—only he does want. He wants, so badly, to stay. If he could choose, he would stay with Athena, always and forever.  Athena is screaming his name. His heart screams hers. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters— Is this how Emmett felt leaving Athena? Is this how Marcy felt leaving him and the children? Is this how his father felt? Did he have time to think before he passed? He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake— Surely Athena will tell May and Harry that he hadn’t wanted to leave them. Surely his crew will understand the same. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me— Bobby doesn’t feel the promised comfort. He doesn’t feel anything at all. His head drops into his arms. The metal of the table is cool against his skin, a gentle balm for the sweat trickling from his hairline, mingling with the blood and snot dripping from his nose and the tears trailing hot lines down his cheeks. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. He doesn’t know if he’s shaking, or if the world is shaking and he’s still. Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. “BOBBY! BOBBY, NO!” “Athena,” Bobby rasps. Even though his tongue is awash with blood and bile, her name escapes unscathed and pure. Her name is the only prayer he needs now; all he wants to carry with him into whatever awaits, whatever he has earned. Even hellfire is alright. He had heaven with her. “Athena, Athena, Athena…” His eyes slip shut. His last breath leaves him. Please, Bobby thinks, just before the end. Don’t take me from her too. - Dying is a blur. It doesn’t last.

no pressure tagging @onekisstotakewithme @bornforastorm @icemankazansky @bawnjourno @bicolumbo @apartmentsmoke and anyone who sees this and wants to do it

[riddikulusravenclawbelle]

promiscuous

plot - you never expected Harry to kiss you—and now he's avoiding you. Draco’s been distant too, but the tension between you both is impossible to ignore. Trapped between two men who won’t make a move, you're left wanting more.

characters - harry potter x reader & draco malfoy x reader

warnings - possessiveness, smut, curse words, mentions of alcohol, and angst.

wc - 4.8k

final notes - because 'taste' got so much love i decided to make a part two & turn this into a mini series!! if you love this, i may or may not be working on part 3 ;) enjoy!

Draco hasn’t spoken to you in weeks. No teasing, no walking to class together—just silence. Cold and sharp, like his hair.

Harry, when he does see you, pretends like he doesn't. Dodging you in halls, looking away when you meet his eyeline.

And it’s not like Harry didn’t have feelings for you—he did. He made that clear. You were his. He knew it.

He wanted you. Claimed you. Like that would be enough.

But maybe Draco was right.

Because his ‘Gryffindor guilt’ did creep in.

He found you at the Astronomy tower, where you always go to relax and think about things…alone.

The wind had picked up, ruffling the ends of your hair, your robes pulled tight around you. You didn’t flinch when he stepped closer. Didn’t look at him.

“Draco hasn’t spoken to me in weeks, Harry.”

Silence followed, but he didn’t leave.

You sighed, hugging your arms around yourself tighter.

“I thought you might come here,” he finally said, his voice soft.

He stepped closer, cautious. “I didn’t mean to ignore you. I just…”

“You just what?” you asked, cutting him off but still not facing him. “Felt bad? Wanted to keep things simple by acting like it never happened?”

“I thought maybe… maybe it was better for you that way.”

You let out a sharp laugh—cold and humorless. “Don’t pretend you were thinking of me. If you were, you wouldn’t have disappeared after getting everything you wanted.”

“I was nothing to you but a dirty little secret, wasn’t I?” You look up at Harry, he’s now standing a few inches behind you. “You were sacred to me.”

“Y/N that’s not–”

“I lost him because of you,” you added. “Draco. My best friend. I don’t even know what he saw. Maybe nothing. Maybe it was just… obvious.”

He looked pained, torn, like someone had split him down the middle. “I think about you all the time.”

“I can tell, you avoid me in the hallways and sit as far away as possible in class.”

“Not in that way. I worry about you.”

“Then why don’t you do something about it?”

That caught him off guard. He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

You shook your head, stepping past him, your shoulder brushing his just enough to sting. “Forget it. Draco was right.”

“Draco was right about what?”

“Your guilt would creep in as soon as you had me.”

You walked away, leaving him speechless.

You didn’t even make it back to the Slytherin common room.

You found him leaning against the wall near the Prefects' Bathroom—tie loose, hair tousled, expression unreadable, like he’d been waiting for something and convinced himself it wasn’t you.

“Thought you were avoiding me,” you said, not quite biting but far from sweet.

Draco didn’t move. “I was.”

“So what’re you doing here then?”

A beat. Two.

“I don’t know,” he said, but the lie tasted sour.

You exhaled, tension radiating through your shoulders. “You don’t look at me. You don’t talk to me. It’s like I’m invisible.”

“I don’t need to,” he said, sharper now. “I saw how you looked at him. How you ran after him that day in the courtyard.” He paused, his voice sharper with these next words.

“How you declared he was better than me.”

“So that’s it? You’re just going to ignore me for the next few years until we leave Hogwarts? Or do you plan forever?”

‘What was I supposed to do, Y/L/N?!” He met your gaze, raised his voice, “Beg for you? Get on my knees and pray to Merlin you pick me over Potter?”

Your lips parted, but no sound came out.

Another step. You were close now—too close for comfort, not close enough to satisfy the ache.

“You think I didn’t want to fight for you?” Draco asked, lowly. “I did. But I knew I’d already lost.”

You hated the way your throat tightened. The way your body still leaned toward him. “You can’t lose, if the game’s not over.”

Silence.

Then—softly, like it hurt to say it—“I still want you.”

And then his hands were on your waist, and your fingers were in his shirt, and his mouth was on yours with so much anger it made your knees weak.

He kissed you like he was trying to erase him from your memory—like he needed proof that you hadn’t stopped wanting him either.

It wasn’t soft or sweet like Potter’s.

It was desperate, like he’d been longing for this moment.

Clothes pulled at, backs slammed into stone walls, hands roaming like they couldn’t get enough.

“You’re not as innocent as you seem.”

“Good, I’m done pretending.”

You gasped into his mouth as his lips trailed down you, and he gripped your hips like he was afraid you’d run into Harry’s arms again. Your fingers threaded into his hair, tugging, like you had many times before.

“Tell me you want this. Me.”

Then he froze. His hands stopped where they were as his mouth travelled, leaving a kiss by your ear before confessing “I’m not him. And I won’t let you pretend I am, Y/N.”

And just like that—the spell broke.

Because the truth was: you didn’t want this. Not really.

You just wanted to forget someone else.

You didn’t want Draco at that moment. And you both knew it.

You stood there speechless. Frozen.

Draco’s hands were still on your waist, but the fire in his eyes had dimmed. Something unreadable flickered across his face.

“I won’t be your distraction, princess”

The words were soft, but they struck like a slap.

“I won’t be your second choice,” he said. “Not even for a moment.”

Your heart cracked wide open and at the same time your stomach dropped.

And just like that, he turned and walked away.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

You didn’t go back to the dorms.

You were mortified that Draco had told the rest of your friend group–Enzo, Mattheo. Afraid they’d look at you differently.

As a girl who didn’t know who she wanted.

Because as you looked in the mirror, mascara smudged. Shirt half-buttoned. Collar slightly wrinkled from where Draco’s hands had gripped you.

You looked exactly like someone who didn’t know what they wanted.

You splashed water on your face, but it didn’t help. Nothing helped.

You tried not to think about the way Draco’s voice broke when he said he cared.

How Harry avoided you all week, and the one time he talks to you, it just got worse.

You had wanted comfort but you ended up even more hollow.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

It was a new day. Thank Merlin for that. You went to find Pansy. Somebody you confided in constantly as one of the only sane slytherin girls in your year.

That’s when you heard her talking to someone. About you.

“She was with Malfoy last night,” Pansy drawled to Daphne, her voice sharp with amusement. “Figures she'd move on from Potter. Can’t say he could even handle her.”

You froze, heart thudding in your chest. They hadn’t seen you yet, but the words felt like a slap in the face.

Daphne giggled. “Poor Golden Boy. Bet he’s brooding in some broom cupboard.”

You turned on your heel before they could notice, suddenly breathless. It wasn’t just the gossip that stung—it was the fact that Harry might believe it.

Because maybe it wasn’t completely untrue.

Later that day, Harry found himself pacing near the Great Hall, a gnawing feeling twisting in his gut. He didn’t want to ask what he already feared, but of course, that’s when Draco appeared.

Their eyes locked like magnets. Tension crackled between them.

“She used you, Potter,” Draco said, his tone sharp. “You gave her guilt, and I gave her an escape.”

Harry’s jaw clenched, but his voice shook. “Don’t pretend like you care.”

“Oh, I do,” Draco snapped. “I cared enough not to keep her when I knew she was still thinking about you.”

Harry stared, something twisting deep in his chest.

“You want her?” Draco leaned in, voice low and dangerous. “Then act like it, Potter. Because she deserves better than this cowardly, disappearing version of you.”

And with that, Draco turned on his heel and left Harry standing there, mouth dry, chest hollow, mind reeling.

After the conversation, Harry had planned to go to the Black Lake to meet Ron and confess everything off his chest without Hermione’s judgement.

He knows he’s made a mess of things.

And there you were, Y/N Y/L/N. Your knees tucked to your chest, clearly shaken, clearly crying.

He didn’t approach you yet.

He just watched.

And for the first time in weeks, the pain twisted in his chest.

That’s when you turned around, eyes locking with his—empty, hollow, like you were already saying goodbye.

And that’s when he walked away.

Left you there.

Alone.

Because he knew that if he stepped toward you now, he’d only destroy whatever fragile bridge remained between you two.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

It was the biggest party of the year. Every house crammed into the common room, but it was mostly the 5th, 6th, and 7th years that were allowed. The air was thick with firewhisky fumes, green lanterns casting eerie glows. The music pulsed through the walls, drowning out the chaos of people either making out or passed out cold.

Y/N was dressed to kill in a tight, dark Slytherin-green dress that clung to every curve, the slit running up one leg daring anyone to look. A silver snake necklace gleamed at your neck, the perfect touch of sly, sensual power.

Draco was smug. Smirking. Loving every minute you were not looking at Harry.

“You’re trouble, you know that?”

“Good. I’m tired of being a good girl.”

Draco downs another shot, his eyes flicking to Potter across the room—watching, brooding, his jaw tight with jealousy. The sight seems to ignite something in Draco. He leans in, whispering in your ear, grabbing your hand, and pulling you toward his room without a second thought.

The door slams shut behind you, and Draco’s hands are on you, pressing you against it. His lips are hot and demanding on yours—every inch of him hungry, urgent.

His hands thread through your hair, tugging you closer, his lips trailing down your neck, marking, claiming.

Y/N gasps when he bites down, leaving a claiming hickey just below your jaw.

“Still thinking about him?” he whispers against your skin, smug.

“Shut up, Malfoy.”

“Make me.”

He doesn’t have to tell you twice.

You shoved him onto the bed, a dark sensual look in your eyes. He gets on top of you, he loves being in control. His hands travelled under your dress, your fingers yanking his belt. It’s reckless. Loud.

You tilt your head back as his mouth moves lower, the sensation of his lips on your skin almost too good to bear—

“Harry…” you moan, the name slipping out, soft and breathless, before you can stop it.

Silence.

Draco freezes. Your eyes snap open.

Fuck.

“What?” Draco’s voice drops, colder than you’ve ever heard it, venom lacing every syllable.

“Wait—I didn’t mean—”

“No. You did. I knew it.” grabbing his shirt, storming out.

“Draco, please…” You whisper, your voice cracking as you watch him storm out, the door slamming behind him with a finality that sends a chill down your spine.

He’s left you there, still drunk, dress on the floor. Alone, the alcohol still spinning your head as your dress lies discarded on the floor.

And the hickey burns like a brand, a reminder of what you lost—and what you can never undo.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

The hall is buzzing with its usual morning chatter—clinks of silverware, flapping owls overhead—but there’s a different kind of tension today.

You stumble in late, sunglasses on, hair in a messy bun with flyaways everywhere, still nursing a hangover. You slide into a seat by the wall between Blaise and Pansy at the Slytherin table, trying to ignore the stares and whispers. Your throat still burns from firewhisky, and your neck is incredibly sore.

“Well, well,” Pansy purrs, sipping pumpkin juice, “did you have fun last night, princess?”

You grunt. “Don’t start.”

Mattheo smirks, clearly enjoying this. “A bit late for that, don’t you think? Word around here is you and Draco went missing for quite a while.”

Y/N freezes mid-bite.

“What?”

“Don’t act surprised.” Enzo’s eyes glitter. “Apparently, you two were seen sneaking off to the dungeons. His dorm, no less. And now there’s a very obvious mark on your neck…” Shit.

You lift your collar, feeling a wave of embarrassment coming over you.

Across the hall, at the Gryffindor table, Harry is silent. Fork clenched in his hand. Ron is mid-chew, oblivious. Hermione shoots Harry a concerned glance.

“Harry… are you okay?”

“Fine.”

“You’re crushing your eggs.”

He doesn’t answer. His eyes are locked on you.

You feel the stare before you see it.

It burns, your eyes flick up.

Harry. Jaw tense. Hands curled. Green eyes blazing like floo powder.

Blaise leans in, his voice low and teasing.

“Also heard you moaned someone else’s name. Bet Draco really liked that, huh?”

You kick him under the table. Hard. The force of it making him grunt.

“Shut. Up.”

Harry doesn’t look away. You don’t either.

It’s a standoff.

You refuse to look away.

Refuse to submit.

Everyone else fades.

And in that split second, it’s clear: He knows.

The same fiery tension that reminds you of the events right after you moaned Harry’s name. You were on a random balcony–one without any students drinking or getting frisky.

You don't have to look to know it was him.

“I didn’t think you’d follow me,” you confessed quietly.

“You always run,” Draco replied, leaning against the wall beside you. “You run, and I chase. It's getting old.”

A long pause.

His voice is low when he speaks, but it cuts like a blade. “How long are you going to pretend it didn’t happen?”

You stiffened. “Nothing happened.”

“Oh?” Draco turns to face you fully, his eyes sharp. “So I imagined you moaning Potter’s name while I had my lips on your neck?”

You go still. Your mouth opens slightly, but no sound comes out.

Your breath catches. “That’s not fair.”

“No,” he says, voice sharp. “What’s not fair is me falling for someone who looks at me and sees a stand-in for Potter.”

A beat passes between you two.

“Fucking hell, Y/N.”

“I was drunk.” You replied quickly.

“You weren’t the night you had sex with him.” That hit like a gut punch. “You weren’t drunk when you ran after him in that corridor. Or when you defended him to me. And you sure as shit weren’t drunk when you came crawling into my bed last night.”

You flinched. “Draco—”

“What is this?” he demands, gesturing between them. “Because I thought I knew. I thought I meant something to you. But you—you just wanted a distraction.”

Your eyes fill with salty tears. “That’s not true. You can’t be mad at me for being confused, Draco.”

Tears prick your eyes, but you refuse to cry. Not in front of him. Not like this.

“No, but I can and do get mad at the fact that I was only a replacement. I wanted–still want you, Y/N.”

You didn’t know what broke first.

The silence or Malfoy’s heart.

And then, softer: “I would’ve given you anything. You know that, right?”

You choke on a breath, nodding.

“I know.” You say, barely audible.

He takes a shaky step back. “Then why does it always come back to him?”

You’re shaking now, a tear rolls down your eyes but don’t answer.

“I hope he fucks you like you need, since I could never do that.”

When he leaves, you're already crying—quietly, furiously.

The feelings overwhelm you right now, as you sit on a bench in the hallway. You don’t want to cry in front of anyone. The rumors would go crazy–even Rita Skeeter would try to get a quote from you at this point. So when you walk by a specific wall, the Room of Requirement reveals itself. And you go in.

Safe.

Empty.

The door slams shut behind you, cutting off the sounds of the entire school. Your chest heaves with each breath as you backs up against the door, hands trembling slightly. Draco’s words still echo in your mind— But now you’re here–alone, mind a whirlwind of hurt and anger, and the heat of the argument still burning in your veins.

The room has changed since you were here last, walls draped in velvet shadows, low lighting from floating candles, books stacked in messy towers, a shattered mirror in the corner.

You froze the second you heard footsteps—someone’s already here.

He came around a corner, startled, a worn leather-bound book in hand. His expression darkened instantly.

“Y/N.”

“Don’t start with me Potter.”

Too late. He scoffs, “Don’t tell me you ran straight here from Malfoy’s bed.”

“Shut up.” The words hit harder than expected. Your eyes snap to him. “You don’t get to talk about things you don’t understand.”

“I understand perfectly,” he retorts, taking a step forward. “Saw the hickey. Heard the rumors. Was he not enough? Had to crawl back to me?”

The silence is thick, charged with something neither of you can ignore.

Harry stared at you like he was trying to burn holes through you. And you hated how good he looked like that—jaw tense, fists clenched at his sides, chest rising like he was holding back from saying something unforgivable.

He stalked closer, heat radiating off him like a curse. “So that’s what you do now?” he murmured, voice low and lethal. “Drink yourself stupid, let him put his hands on you, and pretend it’s me?”

A breath hitched in your throat.

He leaned in, lips brushing your ear. “Tell me—when he kissed your neck, did you imagine it was my mouth?”

His hand caught your jaw, tilting your face to his.

“You’re still thinking about me, aren’t you?” he murmurs. “Even when you’re with him, it’s me you're aching for.”

He chuckled darkly, his thumb brushing the corner of your mouth. “Why are you shaking, darling? Nervous?”

“I’m not—”

“Liar.” His voice was all teeth now, his other hand slipping to your waist, anchoring you in place. “You wanted me to see it, didn’t you? The hickey. The little show you put on in the great hall this morning.”

That did it.

You shoved at his chest, but he didn’t budge.“You think I like the fact that I can’t stop thinking about you?”

His jaw flexed, and something wild flickered in his eyes. “My tongue still remembers the way you taste.” He raised his thumb up to your mouth, rubbing it around your lips.

You sucked in a breath, lips parting, but he didn’t let you speak. Not yet.

“Go on then,” he said, voice low and venomous. “Keep pretending you don’t want this. That you don’t want me.”

“You’re not that special.” You scoffed, looking away.

“No?” he drawled, taking a dangerous step closer, until your back met cold stone. “Then why are your pupils blown wide right now?”

“Maybe you should stop thinking everything revolves around you.”

He leaned in, brushing his mouth beside your ear. “Maybe you should stop pretending you’re not dying for me to touch you.”

He was right. You were unravelling by the second. But he couldn’t know that.

Your jaw locked, fury rising. “I hate you.”

He took a slow step closer. “No, love. You hate that I know what you like. You hate that he couldn’t give it to you.”

Your back hit the door hard. His body just inches from yours now, heat suffocating, rage twisting into want.

“He didn’t touch me like that.”

“No,” Harry whispered. “Because he’s not me. This isn’t about Malfoy to me, Y/N. Or pride. Or winning.”

The Room shifted around them, pulsing with tension. A mirror bloomed from the shadows, tall and wide, its surface glinting with dark magic.

He tilted your chin toward it. “Look at yourself. All flustered, desperate.”

“You’re imagining things.”

His voice was like sin and smoke. “Can’t hide it, can you?” he whispered, his eyes flicking down to where your chest pressed against him.

“The way your body’s reacting—your breath has quickened, your skin’s flushed.” He takes his hand and moves a stray hair out of your face. “And you’re leaning into me like your body’s already decided for you.”

Your breath hitched, the pulse between your legs a steady thrum.

“Still pretending you don’t want this?” he asked, lips brushing your own—close enough to taste but not close enough to take. “Go on then. Lie to my face.”

“You’re such a fucking prick,” you spat, voice shaking—not with fear, but need.

His smirk dragged slowly across your jaw. “And yet… you haven’t told me to stop.” His voice was a rasp, rough and filled with desire.

You swallowed hard, not trusting yourself to speak.

He took your hand, softly, guiding you to the mirror.

He stood behind you, his chest brushing your back. One hand came to rest on your hip, his thumb tracing small, deliberate circles on your skin. His breath was warm against your ear as he leaned down to speak.

“You see that?” His voice was rough, dripping with sex. “That’s you wanting me. Wanting this. Wanting everything I’m going to give you.”

His hands slid to your thighs, coaxing your legs apart just enough to let his body fit even tighter against yours. You closed your eyes for a brief moment, fighting back the desire, but the way his hands were moving, the way his lips were on your neck, was too much.

You wanted this—him.

“You’ve been pretending,” he whispered against your neck, his voice rough with control. “Pretending you don’t want me. But you do. I can see it in your eyes.” He breathed against your neck, his breath warm.

“Tell me,” he demanded, voice like velvet and steel.

“I want it,” you finally admitted, the words slipping out before you could stop them. “I want you.”

The words hung between you, a silent agreement, before Harry’s lips claimed you in a passionate, hungry kiss. His mouth moved against yours with a force, pulling you closer by the neck. You made quick work of your clothes.

“How do you want me, love?”

Without breaking the kiss, you guided him to a nearby couch and let him sit down, getting on top of him.

“Ever since that day I have stopped thinking about you–your body, how you feel, how you taste.” He confessed in a low growl, and he took you off his lap.

Before you could even respond he was on his feet, his hands were on your jaw, tilting your head back just enough to make you vulnerable, exposed, anything but innocent. He stepped back slightly, but only to better admire you—his eyes dark and calculating.

“Look at me,” he commanded, voice low, dangerous.

“See what you’ve done to me?” he growled, voice rough, his thumb tracing your lower lip. “See what you’re making me do?” His hands moved to your shoulders, laying you down onto the couch as he leaned over you, face mere inches from your own.

He gripped the back of your neck, his thumb pressing against your throat in a possessive hold. "Don’t look away," he ordered, as he faced you over the arm of the chair looking at the mirror, ready to take him.

“I want you to watch,” He said, looking at you in the mirror. “I want you to see exactly how you feel under me. How badly you want this.”

He made quick work of his clothes—shedding layers until he was bare above you, muscles rippling, jaw tight with restraint. And then he was lining himself up, rubbing the head of his cock through your slick folds, teasing your entrance.

“Beg,” he whispers, knowing he has all the power.

Your pride was paper-thin now.

“Please,” you breathed.

And with that, he thrust into you in one slow, devastating motion. Filling you. Stretching you. Claiming you.

Getting rid of every single mark Draco Malfoy has ever laid on you.

You cried out, nails digging into the couch, head falling forward against the couch.

“Look,” he groaned, voice barely hanging on, grabbing you by your hair. “Look at how fucking perfect you take me.”

He forced your eyes to the mirror. And there it was—his body pressed to yours, the roll of his hips, the flush in your skin. You’d never looked so wrecked. So wanted.

He set a brutal rhythm—deep, deliberate strokes that pushed you right to the edge again. His hand slid between you, thumb circling your clit in time with every thrust, every curse he spat into your neck.

“You feel that?” he grunted. “That’s what Malfoy could never give you.”

“Harry—” you whimpered, nails raking down the couch.

He grinned, teeth grazing your jaw. “That’s right, love. Say my name. Say it when you cum.”

You did. Loud. Raw. Back arching as he sent you spiraling again, your orgasm crashing into you like a wave.

He wasn’t far behind—his thrusts growing sloppier, breath ragged, muscles tightening until he came with a groan that sounded like it was torn from his soul, spilling into you as his hips finally stilled.

For a long moment, the room was silent, saved for your heavy breathing.

Harry leaned over, brushing his fingers through your hair with a smug little grin.

“You okay? Still breathing? Still gorgeous?”

He kissed your cheek.

You groaned. “I have to go, I have to go meet Pansy in like five minutes.” You paused. “I can find an excuse though.” You said out loud to yourself.

“Go ahead, sneak off.” His voice was still husky, and sweet.

“But just know I’m never going to stop thinking about the way you sounded.”

He paused.

“Or looked. Or tasted. Or—okay, I’ll shut up.”

You laughed, and he grinned.

Eventually, he shifted, careful not to pull away completely, and reached for the throw blanket crumpled at the edge of the couch. He tucked it over both of you, his hand still brushing yours underneath.

You felt his lips press softly to your temple. No teasing. No smirk. Just that.

You blinked up at him, hazy. “You’ve never kissed me like that before.”

He swallowed, his jaw working for a second like he was trying to choose the right words. “I’ve never felt like that before.”

Your heart fluttered traitorously, as you got up to put your clothes that were scattered across the room.

“Harry…”

You looked down at him, green eyes a little softer now. “I meant what I said. That this—” he gestured between you “—isn’t just about Malfoy. Or winning. Or proving anything.”

You looked at him then, really looked at him. The cocky armor was still there in flashes, but underneath it—he looked scared. Like he wasn’t sure what this meant either. Like maybe you weren’t the only one who’d been hiding behind games.

Your lips found his, sealing one last kiss. It wasn’t rushed or messy like before. It wasn’t desperate. It was slow, lingering. A maybe. A maybe-this-could-be-something-more.

When you pulled back, his eyes were still closed for a beat too long, like he didn’t want it to end.

“I really do have to go,” you whispered, fingers brushing over his collarbone as you stood.

Harry groaned, head falling back against the couch cushion. “Blimey, you can’t walk out like that,” he said, a grin tugging at his mouth as his eyes finally opened. “People will think I hexed you.”

You glanced down at yourself—shirt halfway buttoned, hair a total wreck, your neck marked in places that would be very hard to explain in the Slytherin common room.

You huffed a laugh. “They’ll probably assume it was Malfoy.”

His head whipped around to glare at you, eyes narrowed. “Don’t even joke about that. I’ll fight him.”

“Please don’t,” you teased, grabbing your skirt from the back of the armchair. “You’d ruin that pretty face,” you said as you grabbed his jaw gently. “And I like it exactly the way it is.”

Harry stood up then, clearly sore but trying not to show it, and helped you with the zipper at the back of your skirt, his fingers lingering a moment too long.

“You know,” he said, voice dropping again as he stepped in behind you, “I’ve still got energy for round two.”

You turned slightly, arching a brow. “You can barely stand.”

He leaned down, mouth brushing your ear. “Then come back later. I’ll be ready for you.”

You spun around, biting back a grin as you backed toward the door. “You’re insatiable.”

“And you’re irresistible.”

You rolled your eyes, trying not to smile as you slipped out into the corridor, cheeks still flushed, legs wobbly, and your heart absolutely wrecked.

You didn’t even realize it until you were halfway to the dungeons—but you could still feel the ghost of his kiss on your temple.

And this time, it meant something.

[shiny-kaibernyte]

((Spoilers))

Just a warning that this could be a spoiler if you haven't read the ending of MHA yet but, you think you could do headcanons for Shinso x reader where they're adults and he's a hero now and the reader is a civilian and welcomes him home every day? Thanks!

I am not the biggest Shinso fan, i must admit but for you darling i shall do this. Perhaps writing this will inspire me to re-watch MHA never know my opinion may change.

This may be a bit rusty, i tried my best to picture what he'd be like in a more domestic setting so i hope i did alright. Throw a grenade at me if i'm wrong.

Shinso Headcannons | Domestic life (kinda)

Shinso is an underground hero, much like Aizawa he prefers to work in the shadows, avoiding the public limelight as much as possible. However this also means his private life is impossible to figure out, coming home to you is the best part of his day because not only can he come home to you, but it's the only time he truly has a moment to collect his thoughts and just breath.

More often than not when he comes home, Shinso is the one to start up a conversation. The topics he brings up vary from day to day. Usually it's asking how your day was or telling you about the mission he just went on or perhaps something strange he saw out and about. Sometimes though he randomly starts talking about different cat breeds going in extreme detail about them. He does this when he’s most stressed.

An extremely bad habit of his both on the field and at home is this man has zero idea when to stop. He’s had to prove himself his whole entire life from being calling him an underdog to an unholy villain. Seems old habits die hard. As soon as he comes home no matter how tired he is, the first thing he does is some form of house work. He's even taking over the workload from you no matter how much you protest or tell him to lie down and rest. Shinso is determined to prove himself to you as your husband and your hero.

Don’t worry he has a weakness though, a small trick you learnt to get him to listen to you when he does this. It's your stare. Specifically your disappointed-cross stare. He can feel it even if you're behind him or in the next room through a doorway. That stare of yours is lethal to him. When he feels it he puts down whatever he's doing, hands in the air with the look of a guilty kitten. It's the one and only time you can get him to lay down and not fuss or drag you with him.

His love language is Quality time, the conversations he shares with you, memories he makes. Those moments are the ones he holds dear to his heart. Even before you started dating, he remembers every conversation the two of you had, sometimes he brings up something from years ago. The face you make when he catches you off guard is his favourite. Shinso thinks it's adorable so tries to do it a lot whenever he;s had a rough day.

He may be a pro hero now but he still has the same tendencies from when he was in UA. One of your personal favourites is whenever he's nervous or has something to tell you that he's ashamed of, He’ll rub the back of his neck and avoid looking you in the eye at all costs. It's the only time he stutters over his words also. Normally he's very stoic and straightforward but if he's nervous, he's a mumbling mess falling over his words trying oh so very hard not to sound like an idiot.

His phone is always open to you, he has nothing to hide from you, you’re his partner, his love. What he has is yours so he expects the very same. He will NEVER snoop through your things or disrespect your privacy, he values space and privacy ALOT But he also wants you to know he's open to you, there's nothing he will hide from you. So please don’t hide anything from him either.

When it comes to pet names they are rare but he does have his favourites. My love, Dearest and Darling are his go to’s. Something simple but meaningful.

Whilst he isn’t a very cuddly person, he does adore his nights with you especially if you have a movie night. Having you wrapped in his arms and him in yours is a treasured moment to him. A moment he feels safe, as if he could stop time itself.

You are both his greatest weakness and his greatest strength. Shinso will go to any length to protect you, even death. He would kill for you if that's what it took. He may be a hero but to him, he is nothing without you. Although he never has. Shinso hates the idea of being seen as a villain or ‘evil’ so it really is a last resort for him to do that.

He will NEVER use his quirk on you, but he will gladly share some of the things he’s found when mind controlling a villain, he has found out some weird things. 

Yes you have cats. Deal with it.

[pankowcrumbs]

Friends with Benefits X Eddie Munson

MasterList

Stranger Things and Cast Masterlist

The air in the school hallway was thick with the usual end-of-day chaos lockers slamming, students laughing, the occasional shriek of someone who just realised they left their homework in the library. I was halfway to my locker, dodging a football that flew across the corridor, when he appeared.

Caleb Turner. All charming smiles, blonde hair, and enough swagger to power a small town. He leaned casually against the locker next to mine, like he belonged there. Like he knew I’d stop.

"Hey, Y/N," he said, flashing that annoyingly perfect grin. "I was hoping I'd catch you."

I smiled politely. "Oh?"

"Yeah. Listen, I was wondering if you'd want to come to the party at Jamie's tomorrow? I mean, it'd be more fun if you're there." He winked. Actually winked.

I let out a small laugh, fiddling with the lock on my locker. "That's sweet of you, but..."

"You should go," came a voice from behind. Deep. Rough. Instantly recognisable.

Eddie.

He stood there with his arms crossed, leather jacket creaking with the tension rolling off him. His eyes flicked from Caleb to me, then back to Caleb, like he was trying to decide if punching him would be worth the detention.

"Hey, Munson," Caleb said, clearly unimpressed. "Didn't know you were her bodyguard."

"Didn't know you needed to be that close to talk to someone," Eddie shot back, jaw tightening.

I stepped in before things got stupid. "Okay, that's enough. Caleb, thanks for the invite. I'll think about it."

Caleb gave a lopsided shrug and walked off, thankfully not pressing the issue.

Eddie, however, stayed rooted.

"What the hell was that?" I asked, slamming my locker a bit harder than necessary.

He scoffed. "Just didn't like the way he was looking at you."

I raised an eyebrow. "Looking at me? Eddie, he's not a threat."

"You don't know that. He could be a total creep."

"You're jealous," I said simply.

He snapped his eyes to me. "Am not!"

I folded my arms. "You are jealous, and may I add, you're a terrible liar."

His nostrils flared. "Oh, I see. So I can't have an opinion about who you're flirting with now?"

"I wasn’t flirting! He asked me a question. And even if I was, that’s none of your business."

"None of my...? Y/N, we literally slept together last night."

My heart skipped. My mouth opened and closed. "That doesn’t give you a right to dictate who I talk to."

"You know what? Fine," he said, voice rising. "But don’t act like it doesn’t mean anything. Don’t pretend this is just a casual thing."

"Isn’t it? That’s what we agreed on."

He stepped closer, eyes burning. "We are not just friends and you fucking know it."

That stopped me. Cold.

Because he was right. We weren’t just friends. We weren’t just anything. We were in that confusing, messy middle ground where we kissed like lovers but spoke like strangers. We touched like we meant everything, but talked like it meant nothing.

And now, with his eyes locked on mine, breathing heavy, hands clenched like he didn’t know what to do with them, I realised I couldn’t lie anymore either.

"You think I don’t feel it too?" I said softly. "You think I’m not scared out of my mind that this could ruin everything?"

His face shifted, softer now. Sadder. "Then why are we pretending it doesn’t matter?"

"Because I thought... I thought you'd leave. If it got too real."

He reached for my hand, tentative. Like I might vanish. "I’d never leave you. Not if you asked me to stay."

I looked down at our fingers, entwined. It was the first honest thing we’d done in weeks.

"Then stay. But not just for the nights. For all of it."

He let out a breath that sounded like relief. "Yeah. Yeah, okay."

And just like that, we stopped lying to ourselves.

For the first time, we were something more than fear and bodies tangled in shadows.

We were real.

We didn’t speak for a moment, just stood there in the hallway while the world bustled around us. Eddie’s thumb brushed against the back of my hand, soft and slow, and it made my heart ache in a way I hadn’t prepared for.

I swallowed. “I don’t want to do the sneaking around thing anymore.”

“Good,” he said, his voice low and firm. “Because I want to hold your hand without checking who’s looking.”

A breathy laugh left me. “And maybe kiss me without waiting until your van doors are closed?”

His grin cracked wide across his face. “God, yes. That’d be nice.”

The bell rang, signalling the end of the day for everyone else. Students rushed past, and somewhere behind us, a teacher shouted for someone to stop running. But none of it touched us.

Eddie stepped closer, not letting go of my hand. “Come back to mine?”

I nodded, feeling warmth bloom in my chest. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

when we got back to his trailer it felt different. The same cracked countertop, the same crooked lampshade, the same creaky floorboards but the air between us had shifted. There was nothing unspoken left anymore. Just charged silence and a buzz under my skin every time his eyes landed on mine.

I kicked off my shoes near the door while Eddie grabbed us two cans of Coke. He handed me one, but before I could take a sip, he was already stepping into my space again, eyes searching mine.

“You know I meant all of it, right?” he asked quietly. “Everything I said back there.”

“I know,” I whispered.

He cupped my cheek, thumb skimming over my skin. “I’ve been in love with you for months.”

The words hit me like a crash of waves unexpected and all-consuming.

I blinked up at him, heart hammering. “You have?”

“Of course I have. You’re it for me, Y/N.”

I didn’t even try to hide the tears burning in my eyes. I just surged up, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my mouth to his in the most desperate, messy kiss of our lives. His hands clutched at my waist like he was afraid I might disappear again.

The kiss turned slow, then deep, then heavier. Like all the things we hadn’t said had built up and were pouring out now, through every touch. I felt his fingers slide under the hem of my shirt, tracing fire across my skin, and my breath hitched against his lips.

We laughed when he bumped his shin on the coffee table and swore under his breath. His lips found my neck, hot and open-mouthed, and I arched into him without shame. Every movement was familiar, but now laced with something new something careful and reverent.

His hand slid up my thigh, and I was already pulling his shirt off. He leaned back to let me, hair a tousled mess and lips swollen from kissing. He looked at me like I was magic, like I was already something holy.

“I love you too, by the way,” I whispered, brushing my fingers over his cheek.

“I could do this forever,” he mumbled against my skin.

My fingers threaded into his hair, tugging gently when he nipped at the spot just below my ear. He groaned softly, then dropped to his knees in front of me, looking up like I was the only thing that mattered.

“Eddie”

“Shh,” he said with a crooked smile. “Let me take care of you, yeah?”

The way he said it soft, reverent made my stomach twist in the best way.

His hands gripped my thighs, warm and steady, like he was memorising every inch of me. And then his lips followed slow, open-mouthed kisses against skin that had never felt so exposed, so wanted. His nose bumped gently against the sensitive inside of my leg, and he murmured something I didn’t quite catch maybe a compliment, maybe a prayer.

He took his time. There was nothing rushed or careless about it. Every movement, every breath, was deliberate like he was savouring me.

I curled my fingers into the edge of the counter behind me, head tilting back as pleasure bloomed low and slow in my stomach. He was all warmth and velvet tongue and soft hums of approval, holding me up and holding me together all at once.

When I finally gasped his name, trembling, his smile was practically smug. He stood, catching me before my knees gave out, and kissed me breathless.

“My turn,” I whispered.

His mouth opened slightly, surprise giving way to the kind of grin that made my toes curl. “Y/N…”

I didn’t give him a chance to argue. I tugged him towards the couch, pushing him gently down. His hands fumbled with my hips, as if he still couldn’t believe this was real that I wanted him just as much, that I needed to give just as much as I took.

And I did. With all the same softness and fire he’d shown me.

It wasn’t just lust. It was years of unsaid things, quiet stares in the hallway, late-night laughter over takeout, whispered confessions after too many drinks.

It was love raw and real and right there, written all over him as he tangled his fingers in my hair and looked at me like I was the whole damn universe.

When we finally collapsed on the couch, tangled up in each other, skin warm and flushed, neither of us spoke for a long while.

He traced circles on my shoulder with his thumb, heart still racing beneath my palm where it rested against his chest.

“Y’know,” he said after a while, voice raspy and soft, “we were really bad at pretending.”

I smiled into his neck. “Yeah. But we’re pretty damn good at this.”

He kissed my hair. “Best I’ve ever had.”

“You mean that?” I asked, half-teasing, half-vulnerable.

He tipped my chin up so I had to look him in the eyes. “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since you punched Jason Carver for calling me a freak.”

I laughed, watery-eyed. “He deserved it.”

“Yeah, well. So do you.”

“So do I what?”

“Deserve someone who worships you,” he said, brushing my hair back. “Properly.”

I leaned in, kissing him like it was the only truth I’d ever known.

Because maybe it was.

The next morning, sunlight spilled through the cracked blinds. Dust danced in the light. The trailer was still and quiet, save for the faint chirp of birds outside and the slow, steady breathing next to me.

Eddie’s arm was slung low around my waist, his leg tangled with mine, skin warm against skin. His curls were a wild mess, his mouth slightly open in sleep, and he looked... peaceful. Almost boyish.

I didn’t move. I didn’t want to.

I just lay there, tracing lazy patterns across his chest, heart full in a way I didn’t know was possible.

Eventually, his eyes cracked open. “Mornin’, trouble.”

“Morning, rockstar.”

He stretched, groaned dramatically, then rolled on top of me, pinning me gently beneath him. “Y’know,” he said, smirking, “I think we’re officially the worst at casual now.”

I grinned, fingers brushing through his hair. “You’re right.”

He leaned down, nose brushing mine. “Good. I never wanted casual.”

I cupped his cheek. “Me neither.”

We stayed like that for a while. Quiet. Safe. Real.

Finally, he shifted, propped his chin on my chest, and said with a straight face, “Also... I love you. But I really love your blowjobs.”

I blinked. “Excuse me?”

He grinned, wicked and sleepy. “You heard me.”

I smacked his arm, laughing, cheeks burning. “You’re a freak Eddie.”

He wiggled his brows.