#so really there was no other way for this to end xD
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OP, I hope you don't mind if I add on to this, but so much of this ALSO applies if you have WORSE sight in one eye than the other, too. It also applies if you two eyes that just don't fuse images the way they're supposed to. (Source: I have had a visual strabismus (aka, have been cross-eyed) since I was a baby and it's been abruptly worsening with a rapidly developing cataract in my left eye.
1) The neck thing is SO REAL.In fact, I find that I can no longer read something I'm holding in my hands unless I tilt my head to the left. If I tilt to the right, my right eye (aka my GOOD EYE) just forgets it's supposed to be functioning and cannot make sense of what's on the page.
2) STAIRS. Stairs are the bane of my existence. ESPECIALLY if they have one of those fancy patterned floors that looks like sand or a tiny repeating mosaic or something. (This plays into the "things you don't realize you need depth perception for" issue.) I always had difficulty judging stairs unless the edges of them were VERY clear, but now that I have worsening vision in my left eye it's gotten so much worse. Going up the stairs is less of a problem but going down? I will take the elevator down one single floor to avoid having to go down the stairs where I work because I have that much trouble seeing where the ends of the steps are. And it gives me really bad vertigo on top of it, so when I DO reach the bottom I have to stop and hold onto something for a second before resuming walking.
3) Eye strain eye strain eye strain. TT^TT There are times when I will take off my glasses and just live in the blur for a whole day because the strain of trying to get my eyes to talk to each other or the strain of asking my one better eye to do the work of both has given me a migraine level headache and everything upwards of my shoulders just HURTS.
4) ...good luck ever catching ANYTHING that is ever thrown at you. 😑 Gym class is not your friend. On the upside, if it's going AWAY from you, you may stand a chance. (I was BRUTAL at volleyball when they let me serve... and I was awful literally anywhere else on the court. XD)
5) This last one is more of a strabismus issue (two eyes that won't work together to fuse images) than a "one single eye" issue, but anything that requires binocular vision is going to be a problem. Properly using a binocular microscope or... well... binoculars XD is going to be a huge problem. This may not be much of an issue depending on your character, but I spent an entire solid YEAR in vet school with a migraine because of all the microscope work. Video microscopes were a fucking godsend.
writing advice for characters with a missing eye: dear God does losing an eyes function fuck up your neck. Ever since mine crapped out I've been slowly and unconsciously shifting towards holding my head at an angle to put the good eye closer to the center. and human necks. are not meant to accommodate that sorta thing.
#writer resources#eye issues#eye loss#vision loss#strabismus#cross eyed#medical ///#eye trauma tw#queue you hear the people sing?
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Square antiprism box
Part I
(many thanks @queercus-books for finding out what that shape is called XD)
Over a year ago I saw this particular kind of box on the bookbinders fair in Leiden (NL). After having been recently reminded of them, I decided to give it a go and try to reverse engineer them from the pictures I found here (check out her other boxes, they are gorgeous!).
After staring at the original boxes for a bit, it was obvious they were not covered on the inside after gathering them. The pattern was visible in one consecutive pattern. It told me that a) the board was laminate with the patterned paper while still flat and b) the box was made from one piece, not single pieces glued together. For that the corners and edges needed to be scratched, but not cut through.
What stumped me in the beginning was what angle to pick for the walls. Naturally the base of each triangle had to be as long as the sides of the squares it connected to, but a too pointy angle at the tip resulted in long boxes that looked rather twisted than having that bulbous look I was looking for.
The solution (after some more staring and a few more paper models) was 'right angles'! Any square piece of board can be made into this box by marking out the center square and have the walls point away in right angles.
Next I cut away the parts that won't be needed (to make sure I don't cut one of the side walls off, I crossed them out). The net of polyhedrons for this box could look different than this and still give me this shape, but with the way the paper pattern is was not visibly interrupted I'm confident this is the net the Dutch bookbinder has used. (It also wastes the least material)
Now it was scratching the other lines just enough so they would bend nicely, but not get too weak to hold the structure and test assemble. Shallow cuts and test bending every now and then helps to get there (also a metal ruler to keep carving the same line)
Cutting the board half way through ended me up with those gaps though. I''m not sure how much they would show if I dressed them just like that, but I decided to not take the risk and reinforced them with a white paper just in case.
The white paper is really just a white strip of paper long enough to go all around the box and a bit wider than one of the triangles is high so I could have an overlap and reinforcement to the bottom too. Part of why I did this was also to see if covering the body would work as I thought it would. With the angled planes the strip of paper bends up and and down, but in the end it's still one straight strip of paper.
I let it dry a bit before adding another layer, this time with the patterned paper and turn in's on top and bottom. In hindsight I could have cut the turn ins to the inside at an wider angle to avoid them reaching onto the better visible part, but then. this is the first time I made this box so I take that as a lesson learned.
Now all it needs is a base and a lid and I'm done.
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Ah this is cringe as heck for me, but screw it, the last ask you got about a person not feeling much sympathy all for Peppi-No really was great, kudos to the OP of that comment since it really got me thinking, why even if I agree what the dude is doing is awful... I actually feel pretty fucking bad for him XD.
Like, I think we can all agree we've done shit in our lives that wasn't great, and that doesn't diminish the harm done or the fact other people have gotten hurt from our own stupid decisions. I also just think sympathetic villains are so interesting. (when done right, and hell you could argue even if he is the protagonist of the DMW AU, Peppi-No is a bit of an anti-villian) it really makes you think about the fact its so normal for people do try to avoid the consequences of their actions. I'm sure everyone has done something bad and instead of admitting fault have doubled down and tried to save face because they were SURE they could "fix" it without getting hurt from it.
Sure most of the time, (...I hope) its not as bad as murdering a person and taking on their identity... I think there is something really human about wanting to not get hurt, and feeling like shit about regrets we've had.
I think that Peppi-No even if what he doing is wrong, still... I dunno I can empathize. I mean.. he's sooo sowwy 🥺, its kinda pathetic, like a more extreme version of a puppy that just destroyed something important to you. Like "awww... you asshole, you're so cute though but goddamn it..."
I both am loving the angst of this AU and know its going to be so cathartic to see Peppi-no finally deal with his lie blowing up in his face and suffering MORE >:). I feel sympathy yes but I also love angst hehe.
(sorry if that wasn't super well worded? I don't normally send things like these >//>)
I assure you, it’s not cringe! It’s nice to see both sides voice their opinions!
Personally, I’m pretty divided on how I feel about Peppi-no. Part of me wants to strangle him for what he did (and what he might still do*cough* ), but at the same time, he’s,like you said, a sad, pathetic "sowwy" puppy, and I can’t help but feel bad for him.
When he took a piece of Peppino, he may have gained a conscience but not emotional maturity. He’s like a kid who just realized he fucked up in the worst way possible and is terrified of the consequenses. And fear can drive people to do terrible things, after all. Before that, his entire existence was just scrambling around, making pizzas out of whatever he could find: pigs, other clones, pizza monsters. He ended many lives, that but never faced any sort of repercussions. Never got a chance to learn "murder bad" ,
Then he takes a bite out of one of the kind Peppino—bam! Conscience, coherent thoughts, and memories of the guy he killed flood into his head. Can you imagine the whiplash, the shock, the stress? I certainly can’t.
Obviously, I’m not some dough doppelgänger pretending to be someone I killed. That would just be silly… no, really, I’m not.. But I can relate a little to what Peppi-no’s going through.
And let’s be honest, how many of us would have the absolute balls of steel to admit we killed someone’s friend in cold blood? Sure, it’s the morally right thing to do, but… you know. I’m not sure I could. (Once again purely hypothetical scenario)
Peppi-no's actions are unexcusable, he should know better than this by now, but at the same time you can kinda understand why he acts the way he does.
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Updated version
Why was Bellamort always canon
Delphini Riddle;
I actually don’t believe Delphini was born in 1998. I think it was in 97.
The reason is that in the books, Bellatrix is absent from the entire book. (Except that event in Spinner’s End, which happened in the summer-autumn of 96 and after that we see Bellatrix at the Death Eater meeting, which happens in July 97 but that's in the Deathly Hallows).
That means Bellatrix was absent for at least nine or ten months in that book. You think that’s just a coincidence? And where was she?
In my opinion, after rereading the books for I don't know how many times now (xD) she was glued to LV, who was in my opinion, fully aware of her pregnancy. And since he was traumatized by his mother dying in childbirth (which is also implied in the books), it also makes sense that he wanted her by his side. Another thing is that he certainly didn’t want anyone to see her pregnant. Because I think the death eaters were aware of something going on between them two and LV didn’t want anyone to know that Bellatrix is, indeed, pregnant with his child.
Bella wasn’t there, when Dumbledore was killed. Which I consider strange, because if you like it or not, Bellatrix was a very powerful witch and the highest ranking death eater, considering Lucius failing LV over and over. And no, Snape wasn't the highest ranking either, since LV didn't trust him 100%. LV sent Peter Pettigrew to Spinner's End so he and Snape could spy on each other basically (xD, very mindful, Tom, very demure).
So why on earth ?! From a strategical point of view, it doesn’t make sense for Bellatrix not to be there?! And LV was aware of that so it must’ve been his meant decision to not send her there.
Just think… It had to be something really, really important… She would’ve been there if it wasn’t.
Delphini could be born in May – June 97. (It would be actually ironic, if she was born the same day Dumbledore died, 30th June 1997… Just a thought!)
Bellamort;
Secondly, I know it’s hard for some people to accept this, but Voldemort did CARE… He maybe didn’t love her or maybe he did, in his own twisted way, because we aren’t talking about a fairytale love with these two. But he certainly wasn’t ignorant towards her. (opposite of love). It was unhealthy and toxic but at the same time they were kindered spirits who just accepted each other and even tho LV would never say it out loud, they also needed each other.
“But hE TrEaTeD hER BaDLy”
When exactly did Lord Voldemort treat Bellatrix badly? I can’t recall one time he was harsher to her than to other death eaters. And if you want to bring up that scene at Malfoy Manor, when he humiliated her and the Malfoys. You're right, he did, he enjoyed humiliating people. And yet, he took the shame from her in the next few sentances and focused solely on the Malfoys, because Lucius failed the Ministy mission, not Bellatrix. And he even made it up to her in the next paragraph. He didn't have a reason to be mad at her.
He actually treated her with the most respect he could.
He never punished her badly. Not so harshly like the Malfoys. She is described as unharmed after that fiasco at Malfoy Manor. And what’s more, she is by LVs side in public shortly after, whereas the Malfoys are home prisoned and I think Lucius might've been tortured even. He personally trained her, put his energy and time into her, because he saw potential in her. He saw her madness as a source for her powerful dark magic, not something she should suppress, that’s also why she was so devoted to him. Because he was the only person who respected her for who she was. Because in the end, they were both just two extremly broken souls (pun intended).
Further:
He was the happiest he had been in 14 years when she escaped from Azkaban. You may try to say that he was happy because he had 10 more death eaters. That would make sense if the other page wasn’t talking mainly about Bella. (Remember, JK Rowling was intentional when writing, it’s not a coincidence, that she’s focusing on Bellatrix after that statement. She chose every word of all their interactions and Harry's perspective on them intentionally).
He called her “Bella”, a short version of her name, that only few wizards, mainly her family used. He even called her Bella when he was angry about the borken prophecy.
She was the only one, who wasn't scared to speak first when talking to him or touch him even when he said no.
He entrusted her with his soul, whereas he gave the diary to Lucius just to get it to Hogwarts, never telling him that it’s his horcrux. But the cup was given to Bellatrix for protection. And it’s even symbolic, because that cup was Helga Hufflepuff’s, the founder of the Hufflepuff house which stands for loyalty… and who’s the most loyal servent of the Dark Lord?
He rescued her from the Ministry, I think that’s obvious. He certainly didn’t have to. And yet he did risk the whole operation and exposed himself to the whole Ministry. And we’re still talking about the most selfish man here… but he did it… and he did it just for HER, because he CARED. There’s no other logical explanation to this. He came the second she called him and rescued her because he didn’t want her in Azkaban again.
And you can see the difference in LV's behavior towards Bellatrix, Lucius and the other DEs. He didn't help Lucius to get out of Azkaban right away. Instead, he tasked his only son to kill a man, he himself wasn't able to kill simply to mock and torture him mentally.
Yes, from Dumbledore’s words, we were made to think that Tom really doesn’t care for anyone other than himself. But Dumbledore wasn’t aware of Bellatrix’s status at all! Because he didn’t suspect that Voldemort would give his horcrux to her. But we know, Voldemort did just that. And another problem with Dumbledore's preception on this is that he didn’t know much about Tom’s life (certainly not his private life) after his years at Hogwarts, so he couldn’t know about Tom’s realtionship with Bella. It was just his opinion, not a fact. He said, he *thinks*.
And Voldemort’s reaction to her death… That made everything clear, He cared for Bellatrix more than for the piece of his own soul living in Nagini. He had a worse reaction to Bellatrix's death than to, mind you, Nagini’s death… and she was HIS LAST HORCRUX. He lost the control of his magic (which doesn't happen often, since we're talking about THE Lord Voldemort here). He was so furious that McGonagall, Kingsley and Slughorn (all three very powerful wizards) were blasted through the air because: "Voldemort's fury at the fall of his last best lieutenant exploded with the force of a bomb. Voldemort raised his hand and directed it at Molly Weasley" he even tried to avenge her death and kill Molly. If Bellatrix hadn't meant so much to him, why would he waste his energy and time on killing Molly? Have you seen him avenging the death of someone else except Bellatrix? And if Harry didn't intervene, he would do just that. Because he lost it at that point. Death took another person (first his mother), who loved and admired him uncoditionally. All of his other DEs fleed or died. He knew he was alone and mortal. A human.
In my opinion they led, let's call it a Dual Relationship. As Bellatrix implies that LV tells her everything and yet he tells her to be quiet often. He calls her Bella when they're is just the two of them and mocks her in front of others. There's a disconnect between his behaviour towards her. So, in my deduction; there was Bellatrix Lestrange, the most loyal sevent of Lord Voldemort: which was basically their work mode. (And I'm a bit sad we didn't get more of their team work while fighting because I think they made an excellent work duo.) And then there was Bella and her Lord and their private life. Bellatrix wouldn't be against it being public, I'm sure about that. But I think LV didn't want others to know about him having some feelings or a soft spot for her, it would make both of them more vulnerable = since as you can see above, he lost control over his magic because of her dying. But he didn't manage to hide it that well because even Harry (from whose perspective are the books written) notices that there is something between them; "As to a lover"...
And on top of that, Bellatrix was the ideal match for Tom; a very beautiful, powerful witch from a pureblood family. Devoted solely to him.
So Bellamort had been canon even before the CC was released.
But the biggest question is; Why would Lord Voldemort want a child? A hard one… yes
Some explanations:
a) to continue with the Slytherin bloodline.
b) it was an accident, but he let Bellatrix keep the child, so she could be later trained into really powerful weapon (just like Bella)
c) it was that reward beyond Bellatrix’s dreams, he mentioned earlier in the series. He talked about it in the fourth book when he said that the Lestranges will be rewarded beyond their dreams.
d) last possibility, the most out of Voldemort’s character; In the case horcruxes failed, he would be still “alive” through his daughter. – I personally don’t believe this was the case… but who knows?
To sum it up: Bellamort makes more sense than people think. And the CC just confirmed it. period.
Delphini could be conceived around October 1996 and could be born, not in 1998, but in 1997 (before the Battle of Hogwarts). THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS <3
#bellamort#bellatrix x voldemort#bellatrix lestrange#bellatrix black#voldemort#lord voldemord#tom marvolo riddle#delphini riddle#delphi#the cursed child
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Opinion and thoughts on Emmrich’s questline’s last choice (with spoilers of course) :
How that choice stressed me the second the Liche thing was introduced… until when truly faced with it, it didn’t XD. I regret worrying so much but that’s in my nature (PTSD from Solas Romance and other stuff...). The second Manfred came into the picture, I was sold for one of the endings. I couldn’t imagine continuing the story without our beloved skeleton child.
With that said, I still played the two choices and the little wrapping quest after the choice. In the end, to me the whole choice felt like choosing between heart and mind. Here’s why:
- Emmrich becoming a Liche (the path of reason/logic)
In this ending Emmrich follows his dream/project. Just before you make the choice he is still very eager to become a Liche and barely talks about Manfred. I felt that’s what he really wanted and had worked hard for (contrary to other companion quests where other companions seemed less comitted to one choice over the other).
It is a more « selfish » (it’s a too strong word but I haven’t got a better one) ending and feels colder too. Emmrich follows his academic goals.
Rook and Emmrich’s interaction before the ritual made me a bit sad, like a farewell. The worry for Emmrich’s life and the unknown felt real. And when Vorgoth stepped out with the bloodied dagger, I felt a pang in my heart. The cutscene was very well done, every mortalitasi stepping out and suspense as Emmrich steps out last : he succeeded but changed forever.
Emmrich won’t have to face death because he succeeds in becoming immortal (he somewhat faces it because he could have died during the ritual but you see my point). When romanced, even if you can say it changes nothing to Rook’s feelings, that is obviously a big thing. It felt a bit too big for me for a romance that just starting blooming.
- Emmrich saving Manfred (the path of sentimentality)
To save Manfred, Emmrich will have to abandon becoming a Liche. He’s sacrificing something for Manfred, just like Manfred did for him. It’s warm and cute, and Manfred comes back with new magic powers. Plus you see the spirits of the first quest again which was a nice detail.
The first thing Manfred says when he realizes he’s got magic is « Magic, like you », showing he really admires Emmrich. That line killed me honestly, so heartwarming! The hug and the following scene with Rook are adorable, absolutely wonderful, and when in a romance with Emmrich it gives the family vibe that I personally enjoy very much. Father figure/teacher Emmrich does something to me… (I promise I don’t have daddy issues, I’m just getting older XD)
Emmrich will teach Manfred, pass on his knowledge to him, and somehow he’s giving his life to him since he turned down immortality for him.
Maybe it is selfish of me but I prefer this ending because Rook gets both Manfred and the same Emmrich as before. It feels happier. As Emmrich said when asked about his regrets: “I wouldn’t have it any other way”. This moment, with that sweet expression he made while watching Manfred discover the world again brought tears to my eyes. My heart was moved by this ending. It is by far my favourite.
Final thoughts:
I’m reminded of Baldur’s Gate 3 where the endings I preferred were those where the companions didn’t go through with their initial goals. It feels more like character growth that way maybe.
I’ll have to see if the other romances are as impacted by the final decisions of companion quests but I’m not sure. I didn’t feel like the other choices were that big (except Taash and Harding maybe) but maybe I’m wrong, I’ll see when I watch the other romances.
I’ll do another post soon about my overall opinion on the companions and their quests.
I absolutely do not regret choosing Emmrich’s romance, it made me feel lots of different feelings, and that proves it had me invested! It was very good. I hope there will be a few more scenes with him (especially a sexy one XD) because I can’t get enough of this lovely man!
(Link to my opinion on his last quest if you want more of my rambling)
#dragon age veilguard#emmrich volkarin#dragon age emmrich#da veilguard#veilguard spoilers#emmrich x rook
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I don’t know if anyone here plays it and/or cares, but I have been very slowly building Castle Rysen in the Sims 4 and I think I finally have enough of it done to share a bit (apologies for poor picture quality I was using my phone to take them because I’m too tired to deal with screenshots)
It has towers too I just forgot to get a picture of them xD I made it on a hill because on the map it appears to be near the mountains.
Basement with kitchen, this is where the servants quarters will be (and also eventually the unlit side on the left will lead to the holoel chamber)
Ballroom/dining hall with little study-esque places. Hopefully I’ll figure out how to fill this out more eventually xD
Next floor has Nia and Esben’s room
Artham and Arundelle’s room
and all these empty rooms I haven’t done anything with yet xD
And now the piece de resistance:
THE LIBRARY
Everything in this room I’ve done since yesterday when the new library kit came out I went absolutely insane with it xD
lil study nook/more of my walls of books
kid’s area :)
aesthetic fireplace bookreading spots
I headcanon that Castle Rysen has hidden passageways all over it so here’s one in the library that leads to the floor below.
outside we have a path that leads down to this little wooded area
and this nice little garden.
That’s all I have so far. If anyone shows any interest I may continue posting pictures. If no one shows any interest I’ll probably delete this so it’s not clogging up the page.
#the wingfeather saga#the wingfeather saga tv show#castle rysen#the sims 4#sims 4#castle#I have a very love hate relationship with this castle xD#on one hand I love how it's turning out#on the other hand WHY did I make it this shape WHY did I leave so much space everywhere and WHAT do I think I am doing#I have never attempted anything this complex before in the sims#but I finally got the get together pack and there were castle ruin walls and there was an ISLAND with a MASSIVE lot on it#so really there was no other way for this to end xD#I have also made the wingfeather family#peet/artham#and#arundelle#in all different stages of life too xD#oh and the igiby cottage and peet's castle I built those too#peet's castle and peet are shared in the gallery I can't remember if I've shared the rest yet#anyway#all I use the sims for is to perpetuate my hyperfixations xD
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Every day I am haunted by the fact JJK could be amazing but it will be just idk Bleach or something
#I've seen a lot of people complaining about the fact that it's impossible to fit the ending of every unfinished arc#in the five chapters that remain for the manga to end for good#And it all just... legitimises my fear and apprehension haha#And it's a pity! It's a pity! The dynamics were so good! And yet nothing! Sukuna was so good! And yet nothing!#It was so nice how he seemed to play with the idea of transcending human categories and values but even the values of curses so to speak#Well beyond everything. Well beyond positive/creative nihilism even! He was not like Mahito#I wonder if Mahito is more a negative nihilism with a funny edge or a positive nihilism. For now it seems positive#with how he seems to have said something like 'nothing matters so we can do whatever we want and create what matters'#But Sukuna transcends all that! It could have been interesting to see how that developed in a way that wasn't just childish edginess#But no. And then there's all the idea of curses and sorcerers not being all that different#and so not really entirely possible to say one side is good and the other bad#There was the idea of the very source of powers with fear and love playing a role here in such a juicy way#And then there's the entire thing happening with Gojo as a concept and the very concepts he plays with which I could eat like an apple#but also I would let those very concepts eat at my heart as a worm inside an apple#Full of holes and rotting inside out and yet delighting at the sweetness#It could all be so good! And yet! Most of the manga is a few sketched dynamics and concepts and a very long fight with Sukuna#promising half finished arcs#WHY it could have been so good. And I don't think criticism is a matter of 'fans being spoiled! Go write your story!' or something#It's not a matter of things not going as fans would want them to be. It's a matter of not writing well#or cohesively things established by the author themselves. And I think that's a fair criticism#If we are to take manga as an art‚ which I wholeheartedly support‚#then we can subject mangas to artistic or literary or whatever you want to call it analysis. There are works that are better constructed#than others‚ and there are works that have good ideas but poor execution. And it's always a pity#In the case of JJK it's truly breaking my heart and the comments I see around about these five last chapters are not helping xD#God it could be so good. So good. And I'm not talking about in specific to me‚ which yes that too given the topics‚#but just so good in general. It could be so good. It could have been so good#And yet it's starting to look more and more like any other shonen. It truly breaks my heart haha#I talk too much#Jujutsu Kaisen#I used Bleach because I think that's one of the mangas that has been the most a let down to the friends I have who like shonen
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Just finished my first playthrough of BG3. Romanced Lae'zel, but ending up turning into an Illithid because the idea of making Orpheus or Karlach do it didn't sit well with me (or my character).
I told Lae'zel to leave with Orpheus in the end (I heard she wouldn't stay with a ghaik anyway, which she's valid for, but also, it doesn't feel right to ask her to stay when I know how much her people mean to her). And like-
Her face before she flies off---
She looks so heartbroken and sad.
#emmodii rambles#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate series#lae'zel#spoilers#i don't regret my choices and i do love a good angsty story. but at the same time... OOF.#may you find a new source of joy in the astral realm my queen :'(#for anyone curious- i played a githyanki which i heard is the only race that can fly off with her or something?#but well. again- didn't quite fit my character to have someone else turn instead pfffft#ALSO HE'S A CLERIC OF ILMATER AND A REDEEMED DARK URGE. self-sacrifice is kiNDA TO BE EXPECTED HAHAHA.#anyway- do give romancing lae'zel a shot guys. she may be a hardass at first but it's really because she cares a lot#also slightly off-topic but as a dark urge gith... durge grew up in a city so like. wonder how out of place they woulda felt with the#other githyankis anyway. i think i read somewhere that a gith durge realises they don't really feel connected to creches and stuff#which is interesting and makes me curious about how exactly they were made. cuz they have the traits and knowledge of the race but didn't#grow up with them. i guess the easiest answer would be 'god magic shenanigans' but STILL.#trust me to overthink things hahaha XD#if anyone's curious what happened to my guy in the end--- we followed wyll and karlach to avernus hahaha#what are the devils gonna do? steal the soul we don't have?? TRY IT BITCH#of course i did reload multiple times to have my character kill himself. because that was another option that felt possible for his charact#...and also because i wanted to see how companions would react to it. krewfjewlkrjewklrjewl- although the narration for durge suicide#is also quite interesting! of course maybe that's just me being mentally ill eff (/lh) but having a kill that isn't going to murder daddy?#gives a redeemed durge some control and a final say at last. which is still sad but a nice way to tie up their death methinks#ANYWAY- time to go find a way to convert him into a full-on OC. elves and dwarves are one thing but giths are blatantly dnd so i'mma have#to figure that out for my own story lore and universe--- some kinda new species? humanify him? or convert to another existing general speci#hmm hmm hmmmmmmmmmm-#emmodii plays bg3
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Man, this doujin isn't fucking around
Meanwhile, Seikuri in the background...
Doujin: Flashbackers by Totobe
#my ramblings#bocchi the rock#no fr tho. please read flashbackers!! it's so good!#it's a ryokita doujin made by one of my fave artist and everything about it is just...so great. I can't express it enough#whether you ship ryokita or not it's still a good read! like really it's well articulated and goes in depth about ryo & kita's relationship#and acknowledges how unhealthy it is but the realization of this makes the both of them understand each other more clearly without-#-seeing through rose colored glasses. I just- ughhh! I'm not good with words and I can't stress it enough so once again please read this!#you can really tell how much this artist is passionate and dedicated about the ship#not only that but how they color the cover page (and their art in general) is JUST SO CATCHING! LITERAL EYE CANDY!#and the pacing and panelling of the story is well thought out plus the equal balance of humor and angst is so entertaining & heart wrenchin#and their art style... fricking adorable and expressive and striking!! Just grrr!! I LOVE THIS ARTIST'S WORK SO MUCH!!!#I'm not that particularly crazy about ryokita but they are very interesting to explore and could have some potential if they worked out-#-their own flaws. I've been meaning to draw them sometime (if only I could start posting decent bnj art-#-tfw hyper fixation so strong it overwhelms you and in turn can't make fanart of it even if you most definitely WANT TO)#ehem. anyways I think it's quite criminal that ryokita was one of the least popular btr ships#in other story. I was woken up by my cat way to early today so I ended up reading this in a half awake state XD#I just found out last night that this doujin was already translated so what better time to read this other than first thing in the morning-#-running on three hours of sleep 😃👍
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The problem I'm having with one of my stories is that it is compelling - but not clicking.
It's a sephiroth gets reincarnated into mdzs. Straightforward. I've got several branching paths: lwj, jc, nmj (my personal fave) and the jade twins (one mind in two bodies). All five of them have great potential, but for some reason my heart is set on sephiroth!lwj, because the aesthetic is sublime.
But! It's! Not! Working!
My main problems are a) despite similar surfaces, sephiroth has fundamentally different morals and life experiences to lwj and lwjs morals are a huge part of his and wwx's stories. B) I can't NOT have wangxian. I don't ship often at all, but when I do I'm pretty set on it lol. I don't want to deny soulmates. Unfortunately I HATE writing romance. C) I do not think sephiroth should be in any sort of romantic relationship at all nor can I see him wanting one. I've read tons of fics where he is in relationships (healthy or otherwise) and they're amazing, yes, but... Under my pen it's just not in the cards. And I do feel pairing him with wwx would just amplify wwx's worst traits, which is the opposite of what lwj does for him.
Everything's in conflict, but the lure of sephiroths second childhood in strict gusu and his complicated feelings about it, wwx being a perfect mix of all his important people with a spine of steel and righteousness that they all lost as everything fell apart, the relationship between sephiroth and his new mother, and how he'd inexplicably lose her too, the white on white aesthetic, the older identical brother, the cruel angels aesthetic with the benevolent demon, the angst of wwx's defection and death, his relationship with qi as a planet's overflowing life force, the tragedy of the mourning angel, monster x monster.... It calls to me.
But there's also the way wwx becoming a demonic cultivator was so vital to winning the war, and the way that affected things, gave him a legitimacy. Involve the silver soldier, and well. Everything else becomes a little extraneous lol. And sephiroth himself is such a big mover and shaker, I don't know what I could do to manage that without wiping out 80% of the remaining jianghu after the burial mounds siege with sephiroth appointing himself king lmao. He's not the kind of person to make small ripples, you know?
And I'd love a twin jades au to sort of turn the chaos inwards a bit (nmj and jgy would be Excellent foils) but again, I can't separate wangxian and imagining scenes feels a bit too close to incest for my tastes, even when it's ONE PERSON in identical bodies!
It's frustrating, wanting to write a non romance fic set in a love story lol. I just. I hate writing romance. But wangxian just don't want to be parted.
But the image of lwj in the xuanwu cave secretly covering a feverish wwx with his wing, only to notice a handful of white feathers pushing through the black as he unknowingly becomes a better person through showing care for other people, shaking his own deep belief that he is a horrible irredeemable creature incapable of love. Caught in an act of love. Hnggh.
Any ideas?!
#It's so frustrating because the block is on my end it's less so an issue with the actual plot#I know people love crossover character reincarnations even in canon soulmates (my other fics have shown me that lol) but wangxian feels lik#Too much? Idk I don't. Want to try and create a relationship#If you don't know in ff7 wing colour is determined by their morality. As a kid sephiroth was symbolised with white feathers#But as he grew older and later snapped he got the iconic black wing. I see it more as a 'what do they perceive themselves as' which#Gets extra angst points for unreliable narration and blindly righteous vs self loathing vs healing vs denial#The wing probably shouldn't be in the fic it's from the j cells and a symptom of insanity but ehhh it's too cool and symbolic#Like there's so much you can do with seph!lwj. Burning nibelheim vs cr burning. Prodigy on a lonely pedestal. Strict gusu vs sterile shinra#Having a mother but being restricted from her and losing her anyway and nobody telling him anything because he's a little kid#Angel x demon aesthetic on the battlefield. Safer mode HAS to make an appearance I don't make the rules (it's way too underrated ToT)#Wwx would get horns and fangs and stuff to balance it out lol. Noncon bodmod from the energy coursing through you#I feel he'd relate. Lwj being utterly terrified of wwx mentally degrading from the resentment and being forced to watch him ruin himself#Lwj seeing the best of all the people he loved in wwx and seeing him be so genuinely relentlessly GOOD where they fell apart.#Him being terrified of his own overwhelming feelings hurting wwx like cloud. The possessiveness and simultaneous avoidance#Him being even less easily flustered XD. Wwx has a high bar to top some fans from his last life.#Bb lwj getting really stubborn over wanting a stupid big sword and then growing huge enough to use it lol#Sephiroth getting a 'proper' childhood and being so unused to it he can't tell it's still not a very good one. Being doted on by his big br#mdzs#mxtx mdzs#mdzs fanfiction#mdzs fic#mo dao zu shi#lan wangji#ff7#final fantasy vii#cloud strife#final fantasy 7#sephiroth#This is working on the idea sephiroth got controlled by jenova btw the other version is beyond hope#mdzs au
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Ya know. I spent most of my life with horrible painful soul-crushing social anxiety.
And after about 25 years of continuous hard work, suddenly, people started pointing out - to my utter bafflement - that I had, in fact, achieved my lifelong dream of being charismatic. I'm 29 now; I feel comfortable in most social situations, and it is a very rare person whom I cannot make laugh.
I am, undoubtedly, finally, charismatic.
But do you know what I found?
I found that now that I have an understanding of which social rules serve which functions -- Now that I have an understanding of just how much damage my awkwardness was doing to people, well,
I found that, actually, my awkwardness never really hurt anyone at all. People were just judgmental dicks to me about it.
Now that I have the skill-level to (most of the time) creatively vocalize what is in my head as soon as I think it and without fear, I can confirm once and for all what I had always suspected:
I was worth talking to when I was quiet.
I was worth talking to when I was awkward, and when the words in my head took time and patience to hear, and when most of my jokes didn't land. I was worth talking to the whole time.
So I just... I hope that if you've ever wondered whether you are worth communicating with, the answer is yes. Absolutely yes. Each of us has a soul worth sharing - and if you and I were talking, I would happily wait for you to speak (or communicate in other ways) without condescending, and I would never shame you for that harmless awkwardness that so many people feel the need to violently stomp out.
You are worth talking to. You just are. And you deserve people who will speak to you with kindness, with patience, and with the basic immutable respect owed to all people.
(I talk about this with some frequency, both on tumblr and in real life. At some point, maybe I'll gather all my thoughts on the matter into one post. At some point, I wrote about my personal experience trying to build my social skill. But I felt the need to say at least a little bit tonight after seeing this other lovely post, and I'm glad I did. It will happen again.)
#original#social anxiety#autism#that one post#actually autistic#self-diagnosis is valid - in case that last tag implies otherwise to anyone. i think it just denotes i am an autistic and not just an ally.#social skills#socially awkward#socially anxious#autistic positivity#autism positivity#like actually genuinely who does it hurt if i tell a joke that doesn't land? esp if the joke is not about another person#this is not a live comedy show this is life ya gotta learn to say 'ah well they can't all be golden!'#which btw is a line i use when my own jokes don't land and it usually plays pretty well actually. i've got a higher hit rate but#genuinely they just can't all be good! anyway i go into that in the post linked at the end there i think#people can tell when you're not sure of yourself socially and a lot of folks instinctively use that against you. and i am here to say that#it's fucked up that they are doing that and they need to step off actually. imagine getting to decide on which social cues are#acceptable and then using that power to be unkind. fuckin gross. i regret so deeply each time in my life i have made that choice.#being a kid who is abused like that so often it was eager to power trip when i met kids more awkward than myself. but it was wrong#and i regret it. and i am proud to say i haven't done that in a long time and instead when i find myself with that power i try to say#actually what do YOU want? to the people shyer than me.#i'm pretty rad now is what i'm saying lol#like all the ways that having a good social stat has improved my life just made me realize what bullshit it is that this was necessary#doing what I did is not desirable or possible for everyone. they deserve just as much out of life as i do.#side note: i think I've actually surpassed a lot of neurotypicals who had never even had to think about social rules 🤣.#like I feel no competition with other people who have struggled socially but now that I'm more charming than people who were dicks to me#I do feel like fuck you!! I win!!!! I can finally see enough of the full picture to say that your arbitrary rules were FUCKING ARBITRARY#I'm also aware of the fact that not everyone finds me charismatic but i am. in all the ways that matter to me. and I'm still growing!#note to future jack: you did save these posts in your notes app on the day this was written.#tbh i am often still awkward i am just not sorry anymore if i'm not hurting ppl. 'confident and awkward' really throws 'em for a loop! XD
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Hi all -- let me introduce you to my potential Tiny Fandom Town lot! I made this a few weeks ago so I 'd have it ready if and when I do the challenge, and I figured I'd share it with all of you. :) Let me take you through all the Pertinent Points --
-->The lot was built on the 64x64 lot on the Crumbling Isle neighborhood in Windenburg, where the Villareal family normally lives (the "Von-Windenburg Estate" lot). I wanted to do the challenge in Windenburg as I rarely actually play in that neighborhood, and, as I have stated in previous posts on this subject, I enjoy the idea of building up the whole island via Community Space lots as the town grows and evolves. :)
-->Also as per previous posts, the lot has the Lot Challenges Off The Grid, Reduce & Recycle, Simple Living, Creepy Crawlies, Wild Foxes, and Wild Prairie Grass to help represent that this is an entirely new and undeveloped bit of land, not hooked up to any municipal power or water and still under the control of nature. However, it does also have the Lot Traits of Natural Well, Geothermal, and Sunny Aspect -- the first two to help offset the pains that being "off the grid" brings (they help boost water gathering and power production, respectively), the last because -- well, the lot IS situated on a very scenic bit of the island, so it's no wonder the sunset would make Sims happy, inspired, or energized. :)
-->As you can see, the lot is divided into seven mini-lots, arranged in a rough horseshoe shape and marked with terrain paint and a bit of Werewolf raggedy fencing at each corner. Each lot comes with a little natural stick lamp for nighttime lighting; a pee/woohoo bush; a tent; and a cooler. Basically the absolute basics a roughing-it Sim needs to survive. Beside the very first lot in the horseshoe on the left, I have also set up a wash basin and clothesline, because I would like to force the Sims living here to deal with laundry on top of everything else. Because why not, you know? :p
-->The whole thing costs roughly $18,166! Because I really wanted it to actually be under the $20K starter home price so that a Sim fresh from CAS could purchase it and still have a little money left over to get the stuff they'd need for their first skill. No "free real estate" cheat needed here!
-->And if you like what you see and want to use it for your own Tiny Town challenges, it's up on the Gallery! The lot is called "Tiny Crumbling Isle Town" and it's under my username of AliceNVictor. I figured that it would only be nice to share. :) More Tiny Town thoughts sure to be upcoming!
#sims 4#tiny town challenge#multifandom tiny town#builds#(well that tag's being used loosely here XD)#but yeah if you want a really basic tiny town lot template that you can then customize to your heart's content#this SHOULD be the lot for you#fun fact I originally had this lot facing the OTHER way#meaning the opening of the horseshoe looked out onto the ocean#but then I was like 'hang on that's the entrance to the town'#'why wouldn't it be facing the path to get up onto this little plateau?'#so whoop spun it around :p#also originally all the lots were fenced in with that werewolf fencing#but when I decided that I wanted to make it a sub-20K tiny town lot#I ended up getting rid of most of it#and then breaking out the terrain paint to better indicate where the 'borders' of each lot was#and then I was like 'cripes this is going to be a dark lot at night'#and added in the lamps XD#fortunately they were cheap so it wasn't a major deal#but yes a nice basic tiny town#hopefully you guys like it#queued
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I'm so fucking excited to get all this outstanding work done, and for tax season to fuck off. I cannot wait to have more time to play games with pals, go out with friends whom I haven't seen in a few months....go to some random meetups to meet new ppl and create new connections (and perhaps snag me a new person wink wonk LMAO).
And just...have more time to live. To stop feeling as lonely as I am feeling rn. CAUSE HOO BOY, it's been hitting me hard. And I can't do too much about it CAUSE of the deadlines I need to meet!
#I have learned my lesson: no more zines. or rather. no more modding zines#as much as I love you grizz zine. the amount of work you have placed on my shoulders is too much. heck. the other mods have it worse#I dont enjoy doing overtime and coming home to work on the art for the zine that I really should have had help with :')#27 spots...thats way too much for me at least. my hands are struggling and I am getting flare ups again. and I am not including the notes#I legit havent drawn anything for me in months because of this and I just wanna draw abby n pilos cuddling!!!!!! LMAO#and I so badly want to reach out to ppl to play games with and I cant cause Im either WORKING or WORKING#I really want to stream games again too.....I REALLY want to play 999 with someone :'))))))))))) would be a fun game to share......#and the cube escape game too#AUGH I HATE BEING SO BUSY AND ALONE SOMETIMES LMAO. IDM being single but this is an instance where a partner would be nice to have to blab#but ye I am so excited for may. most things will be done and work will still be rough but more manageable!#so ye. IM so sorry if you read all this I just like talking. and I dont really have anyone to talk to rn except myself XD#(ye ye I could reach out to ppl but hm. well I am tbh LOL. but ya know. busy. haha)#also typing has been really painful lately. the only reason why these tags are ending is cause my hands are numb from typing. :')))))))))))#ok goodnight
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Duviri Paradox dropping today. And with it the Enhanced Engine as default graphics engine (no worries, in the game launcher it’s possible to revert to Classic). *sighs*
A shout out to all the Tenno out there which - following this update - due to potato hardware, limited funds or lack thereof to get a better PC/console, will still be playing on Classic. Aware that they’re basically on borrowed time before the retirement of the old graphics engine. When? Beats me, DE will tell soon? Hopefully?? ??? Let’s all enjoy this last and crazy ride while it lasts. TT^TT
#warframe#from a proud potato user and Tenno to other potato users and Tennos#really happy about the update being released after years of waiting#not so much about knowing that the adventure is going to end Soon (TM)#because of course technology marches on#and developers don't care about players unable to afford new and better hardware#sure there are ways to solve the issue without selling your organs XD#but maybe they are not available to everyone#tl;dr: it sucks to be broken. :°°°°)
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So, I'm looking on the Toyoto RAV4 subreddit to get opinions on it vs the Mazda CX-5 and the majority of them are just so helpful and honest. Like, they'll talk about pros and cons and if you want this sort of thing buy RAV4 and that sort of thing buy CX-5. It's just so wonderfully refreshing and enjoyable to read. If you want to compare a car to the RAV4 check out the rav4club subreddit. They give out really stellar and thoughtful opinions and I wish more people approached things like they do.
#geeky talks#we've narrowed it down to the rav4 hybrid and the cx-5#honestly they're both really nice cars we're having a hard time deciding#which is why i started googling#and then i ended up on reddit and so went to the cx-5 and rav4 subreddit#and searched for the other car in them which had given me some really interesting insights#for example the reddit toyota people generally give really good advice#the mazda people are... not XD#things both subreddits agree on:#the interior is smaller but nicer in the cx-5#the rav4 is definitely better for bumpy country roads but the cx-5 is really nice to drive in general#toyota has way better resale but mazda (now that they're not owned by ford) has become really reliable#infotainment screens are all awful and most people (correctly) hate them#something no one mentioned but that i consider a personal win: more manual controls rather than electronic controls#i love how the car people will be like: look at these cool expensive upgrades#and mr. geeky and i will just look at it and the be like thanks we hate it
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I really can't stand Gil
#Thinking about him for some reason tonight/this morning/esta madrugada#And like I can't stand him. It never changes lol#Someone else besides my cousin's girlfriend is now also reading PH because I asked#and between one and the other I'm falling again in the realisation of how much I can't stand him haha#I went into PH for the first time and saw him and thought 'oh he's neat. really pretty'#and just a few chapters later I couldn't stand the sight of him haha#Shittiest character ever. And I do love shitty characters often but the way Gil is in particular irks me a lot for some reason#I guess it's in part the narration and how hypocrital it is at times when it comes to him#Which would make sense with the ending if it weren't for the fact that I don't think it feels narrated by Gil at all until that very moment#Or not that I recall. I could reread to check again#Anyway... He is the favourite character of my cousin's girlfriend for now because 'he's very pretty and he is so kind and nice' omg#My attempts at keeping my dislike at bay were unsuccessful I think#One of the guidebooks actually brings up the topic about how shitty he is (I'm letting her borrow those too#so I'll wait and see what she thinks about it) which as I told Leigh was very validating#because this may be one of my most unpopular opinions of the manga? xD#On the other hand he was compared in that very fragment to Liam‚ who I also think was quite a shitty person despite how he is constructed#or at least perceived by the other characters as perhaps one of the best persons in the manga#Anyway yeah... Rereading these few first chapters because of being asked a question about them sent me into a Gil spiral tonight lol#Funny how it works like irl to some extent. I can't even perceive him as beautiful anymore‚ or not as I did at the very beginning#Despite how much the art improved#Although I think it's also his gestures#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#Anyway#Vincent prettiest brother among the two#Despite not being really my thing at all either#I mean#He's blond
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