#so often nice people are not good people.

[dragonqueenbizawagi]

According to people in the notes op intended to post this on r/namenerdscirclejerk (satirical version of the regular one) and this is not a real name.

However... I feel compelled to comment anyway that while alliterative names are sometimes fine, and derivative names (changing a popular name like Jessica to one slightly different or just with a different spelling) are sometimes fine... using both???? With "bl-" as the alliterative sound? And BOTH names are derivative of popular names? THAT'S where the problem lies.

Like, both alliterative names and derivative names can come off as cute or slightly cringe depending on both how well you pull it off and who you ask. Alone? They might get a few chuckles or odd looks but it's probably fine, just up to taste. Together? You've already gone too far and it's just too gimmicky. Adding in that the alliterative sound is "bl-" (a goofy, cartoonish sound - at least when repeated), and that the name Blessica also counts as an english word turned into a name (which is often just perceived as too tacky, especially with something so sanctimonious as "bless" - at least hide it better like the name Neveah did). Yeah... the similarity to Jessica Simpson is but the humble cherry on top of a monstrous name-sundae. It's just all too much.

Which, as a post intended for a circle jerk subreddit, it's meant to be! Good job! You combined a lot of (innocuous on their own) naming conventions into a horrible monstrosity! But I hope people can learn from this when seriously naming their child (or even just fictional characters) that while ONE of these slightly gimmicky naming convention is fine and probably even clever (if subtle), they quickly compound to create a laughable name that, at best, your child will learn to laugh along with the jokes. At worst, well... let's just hope they pick you out a nice retirement home!

[shaisuki]

Hiii✨ I really really like your writing and I saw your requests are open so I was wondering if you could do a one shot fanfic where (itoshi brothers,Kaiser, shido and any other character you want) realize that reader is wearing their perfume

Sorry if this is dumb, have a good day🎀

❝ MY SCENT IN YOUR SKIN ❞

FEATURING. ITOSHI RIN, ITOSHI SAE, MICHAEL KAISER, SHIDOU RYUSEI

CONTENT WARNINGS. suggestive themes.

SYNOPSIS. blue lock boys reacting to you wearing their perfume.

ITOSHI RIN

the room are filled with screams, the sound of stabbing and flesh being ripped apart echoed in the confines of his room. rin didn't even blink when a jump scare appeared. the screen flashing with red, white and black color.

rin glanced at the clock. you would be home any time now and he was right. he hears the jingling of keys outside and the loud voice of your greeting him that you were home.

“rin!” you call out to him, leaning to kiss his cheek and rin gets a whiff out of your cologne, his cologne. his nose flaring a bit upon smelling you.

“you used my cologne?” you nodded in response. “ah, i'm sorry rin. that party was long and i know i'll be missing you so i used yours.”

the younger itoshi only stared at you. it wasn't obvious but you see his face softens. “it's fine. you should use it often.” he blankly says and your heart warmed at his words. you nodded.

after that, rin made sure to buy an extra bottle of his cologne.

ITOSHI SAE

sae glances at your plush form. cuddling a pillow while you scroll past your phone. silently giggling at the cute reels that you're watching. he quirks an eyebrow and then he gets a little closer to confirm his suspicion.

there it is, his perfume lingering in your clothes. “you're wearing my cologne.” he commented, a faint smirk tugging on his lips.

you press the button in the side of your phone, locking it. turning around to face him. “yeah.” beaming at him. proud of what you had done.

“it suits you.”

“of course.” you crawled to him. meeting him for a kiss before going back to cuddle your pillow.

sae gets back to his book. glancing at you one last time and he smiled. longer than he wanted to.

MICHAEL KAISER

if there is only one good thing in a party, it would be you.

michael was running out of patience. trying not to show his discomfort and annoyance at the sponsors flocking to him. praising him. well, they should be. he's michael kaiser and no one else.

before he could strangle the nearest person, you appeared. making your way towards him. the dress you were wearing suits you nice. hugging the existing curves you have and your make up expertly done.

“michael.” you purred. pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek.

he wraps his arm around your plush waist. his mood now calmer and is that his cologne you're wearing? it must be.

“you smell divine, liebe.” michael whispers you. knowing the full implication cause you're wearing his cologne. you only hummed in response. snuggling closer to his body and ignoring the people that surrounds you both. michael did the same.

his grip tight on you the whole time. no matter how bad the party was, it's going to be only good when you're with him.

SHIDOU RYUSEI

dating shidou means that you deal with his behaviors. didn't matter if you're in public. he will do whatever he want. taken by the heat of the moment.

wearing his perfume wasn't a good idea and you're in the middle of the field. the thousand spectators watching you both as shidou slaps you ass. holding a firm grip on it while he buries his face in the crook of your neck.

“damn, babe. you're riling me up.” his voiced laced with amusement. thrilled beyond comprehension and shidou is beyond hard than he could ever imagine. his hardness pressing in your thigh. thank god, it's concealed.

shidou doesn't have any problem with it but to you. it will he a mess, so you try to promise him that he can do whatever he wants to you. just wait for the moment this will be all done and he can ravage you.

now you know that wearing his cologne isn't good when in public.

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Silly creep things to try and cheer you up a little bit

LJ will juggle various items at random times, and he often does so quietly, waiting until people notice. They'll be eating breakfast and Jack is just at the end of the table juggling various fruits quietly and intensely, waiting for everyone to notice. It's become such a regular activity that they don't even question it anymore, but those who notice first often have a hard time controlling their laughter. Slender has put limitations on his juggling after he caught Jack juggling several of his very expensive vases one day, although none of the vases were damaged.

Toby is committed to trying to lick the tip of his nose and his elbow with his tongue, but he has so far been unsuccessful. That is also a common thing to see in the mansion, Toby sitting by himself, eyes in full concentration, working overtime to try and succeed in either licking the tip of his nose or his elbow. Tim always ends up having to tell him to stop because he's worried Toby's gonna somehow strain himself, especially when he starts trying to contort his arm to get his elbow closer.

BEN has started being an absolute nuisance to Jeff whenever Jeff is annoying him or picking on him, and Jeff is finally starting to learn his lesson. Jeff with say something to pick on BEN, and BEN will retort back with something worse and then take off running. Jeff, of course, will chase after him, but what BEN has started doing is last minute shifting into his ghost form and slamming a door through his body so Jeff runs face first into the door. BEN has pulled this off a whopping 10 times, and Jeff is now finally realizing that maybe he should not chase after BEN like that. There are various recordings of this happening floating amongst the residents, much to Jeff's chagrin.

Slender is in full baking mode, as he is every fall, and this year he has kicked it up a notch to a point where everyone is getting a little concerned. He uses baking as stress relief, and as he's been particularly stressed lately, he has made, in the last couple of weeks, seven pies, five cakes, and four trays of cupcakes. Despite how many people are in the mansion, Slender makes quite large desserts to combat that so normally everyone can have some, but he's made such a ridiculous amount that they're having a hard time eating through it. They can't get him to stop. He's trying new holiday recipes. He's in the kitchen right now. He's whisking away. He's going to fill the house with desserts and nothing can stop him.

Liu has very recently gotten very into board games, all thanks to BEN for showing him a couple he thought Liu would like. This is good because it's a nice group hobby, and he can teach everyone all of the games and it's a good way to spend time together. The problem is that he's so into them that he wants to play board games all the time. He keeps buying new ones and upon getting home will immediately follow people around politely asking (begging) them to play with him. He will leave the board games out and set them up as a silent sign of trying to get people to ask him if they can play. He can't stop pouting at everyone when nobody wants to play. Jeff is forced into playing the board games the most because he's his brother, and so now Jeff is trying to constantly drag people into it. They enjoy playing the games with Liu, they really do. They just also like being able to sleep and do other things. Liu can't relate. Everyone silently blames BEN for creating this monster but BEN doesn't care and is happy to have someone else around interested in board games.

[bloodywickedlips]

One Night

Spencer walked into the office with a scowl as he walked next to JJ “I don’t understand why they had to replace me while I was away” Spencer grumbled.

“Spence they didn’t replace you while you were in prison, we were on team member short and she was at the top of the list, she’s not that bad and once you get to know her you will see how nice she is and how good she is in the field” JJ said but spencer had already made up his mind on not liking her.

Everyone parted to their own desks but Spencer’s eyes kept roaming to see who the new member was but he didn’t see anyone new.

“Guys we’ve got a case” Garcia said as the team made the was to the same room to be informed on the next case they had to solve.

“Has anyone had eyes on Steel?” Emily asked but everyone shook their heads, not seeing her at all the whole morning.

“I’ll phone her” Garcia said and Emily nodded as Garcia pulled her phone out.

“I’m here, I’m here, sorry I had some trouble finding my car keys so I had to take a taxi, sorry Emily we can carry on with the…shit” Amelia said as she looked up and locked eyes, locked eyes with the same brown ones she only saw a few hours ago. The papers dropped out of her hand as she felt a blush creep up her neck and quickly bent down to pick them up.

“Alright well now that everyone is here, Steel I would like you to meet Spencer Reid” Emily said and Amelia looked up and put a tight smile on her face. “Hi, I’m Amelia” she said sticking her hand out but spencer just stared at her.

“I thought your name was Sarah?” Spencer asked and it made Amelia clench her jaw and glare at him. “No you must be mistaken” she said with a tight smile and sat down while spencer continued to glare at her.

After the briefing everyone grabbed their go bag and slowly made their way to the jet.

“Reid, I understand you feel like you have been replaced but she’s nice. I saw the glares so try to get to know her” Emily said to him but if only Emily knew how much he knew her already.

The night before:

The music was loud and the little bar was over crowded, people bumping into each other and the heat inside was scorching.

Amelia was dancing on the floor when a set of hands landed on her hips, right away she turned around and told the guy off. Moving away and enjoying herself once more she closed her eyes to feel the music run through her. Again a set of hand gripped her and pulled her back into their body, grounding her teeth she turned around to come face to face with the same guy.

“Listen here, I do not like to be touched. So hands off, last warning” she said and turned to walk to the bar to get a drink but the hand gripped her arm harshly and pulled her back.

“Baby you can’t dance like that and not expect someone to touch, I promise I will be gentle” he said and whispered the last part as he grabbed her ass. “I won’t” she said as she punched him in the nose, hearing the crack over the music and the shout. The guy turned back and raised his own fist which she quickly dodged and as he was in front of her she gripped his arm and twisted it behind his back.

“Let it go buddy, neither one of us want trouble” she said and shoved him away. He glared her way and walked off.

Sighing she made her way to the bar and sat down to get a drink. She was enjoying her drink when someone slipped into the chair next to her, quickly looking sideways she saw a tall man that had dark circles under his eyes and hair that was roughed up.

“Come here often?” she asked the man and he looked spooked that she was talking to him.

“No first time” he said shortly and she nodded understanding that he wasn’t in the mood to talk.

“Can I have another beer?” Amelia asked and the bartender nodded, returning a few minutes later with her drink.

“I wouldn’t drink that if I was you” the man said and she frowned as she looked at him in question.

“There is something in it” he said and as her eyes looked down she saw the white little fizz at the top, scanning her eyes around the bar she saw the previous man stare at her and she growled in frustration.

“Fucking bastard” she said and went to get up but the man next to her grabbed her arm.

“I wouldn’t, he has two buddies with him and that’s just asking for trouble” the man said and she rolled her eyes. She quickly swapped her beer with the strangers and downed it in one go.

“I can handle myself” she said and got up out of her chair and walked to the back door for a smoke.

Not even able to light her cigarette the door opened and the three guys stepped out.

“You need help sweetheart?” the one called out and she shook her head.

“No just dizzy that’s all” Amelia said and they all stepped closer to her. “That was the plan bitch” the one with the broken nose said.

Amelia walked backwards deeper into the alley acting scared and making it look like she was drunk and confused. The three men approached and as the one went to grab her she punched him, sending him to the floor. “You bitch” the one yelled out and charged at her, slamming her into the wall, but she quickly kicked him of and proceeded to grab a trash cans lid, knocking him over the head, knocking him out.

“You tricked us” the guy said and she smiled at him, “Just like you tried to drug me?” she taunted him.

He growled and came at her but she dodged him and kicked him to the ground, the other one got up and landed a punch to her face, splitting her lip. But it only fuelled her anger. She hit back and with one kick she knocked him into the wall and saw his body fall to the ground.

“Next time don’t drug someone that will beat your ass” she shouted at the last guy seeing as he was still laying on the floor clutching his head.

Amelia made her way back inside and asked the bartender for her bag.

“your lip is bleeding” the stranger said and she nodded as she held her head, that hit was harder than she thought.

“I’ll be fine thanks” she said and made her way outside. Leaning on the wall outside she closed her eyes as she felt dizzy but a hand on her shoulder startled her. “Come on you need help” that same stranger said.

“I don’t know you, so sorry if I don’t just accept help from a stranger” she said and he nodded in acknowledgment.

“You still need help, I’ll get you a taxi and ride with to make sure you get home safe” he said and not wanting to argue more she nodded.

Giving her address to the driver they made their way there quickly and once she got out she had to take a few deep breaths to steady herself.

“you sure you going to be fine?” the stranger asked and she thought it over. “Can you maybe please just help me inside?” she asked and he nodded, helping her into the building.

Once she unlocked her door and stepped inside she left the door open. “You can come in, you seem normal” she said and he chuckled “That’s what they said about Dahmer” he said and she raised her eyebrow at him.

“Sorry, not the right thing to say” he said while holding his hands up.

“You want something to drink?” she asked and he nodded “Sure since you had my beer” he said and she laughed and turned to the fridge, grabbing them both a beer.

“I never got your name?” the stranger asked and she looked over at him “Sarah, my name is Sarah” she replied to him and he nodded as he took a sip of his own beer. “And yours?” she asked and he just smirked at her. “I don’t give out names” he said and she laughed at his serious tone.

“You should probably clean your lip” the stranger said and she nodded as she made her way to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror she saw her split lip and some blood on her new white shirt, cursing to herself she unbuttoned it and threw it in the wash.

Hissing at the cold cloth on her lip her eyes caught sight of the stranger standing by the door.

“You gonna help me or murder me?” she asked in a light tone and the stranger stepped forward.

“statistically if I were to murder you, you would be dead already” he said and she nodded knowing he was right.

“So what do you do for a living?” she asked and he thought it over before answering “I’m a professor” he said and she hummed, he seemed to fit into that type.

“Here let me” he said as he stepped forward and took the cloth from her and wiped at her lip while she stared up at his eyes. They were a beautiful shade of brown, hazelnut brown to be precise.

He cleaned her lip and tried not to let his eyes wander down to her bra covered breasts but it was difficult as he felt a tightness in his pants.

“So what do you do for a living if you could take three men on?” he asked and she smiled up at him “mmmmm I don’t give out my occupation” she teased and he smiled down at her.

“There all clean” he said as he put the cloth down and she kept staring up at him.

“What were you doing at the bar?” he asked and she gulped as she looked into his eyes.

“I have a lot of stress and needed to let go of some of it” she said and he hummed agreeing to her words.

“Can I do something?” he asked and she nodded softly as she stared at him, she watched him slowly bend down and placed his lips onto her own. It was soft at first but turned harder ad more desperate as the kiss carried on.

“I can stop” he said and she shook her head at him. “No no, don’t stop she said as he picked her up with her legs wrapped around his waist he walked out of the bathroom and she mumbled to the right as they kept on kissing.

He dropped her on the bed with a bounce but half a second later he was on top of her layering kisses down her throat and over her chest making her moan out.

Her hand made their way to his shirt and pulled it over his head as his fingers slipped into the waistband of her pants and pulled them down.

“Scoot up” he said out in a gruff voice and she did so as she saw him stand up and take his belt off, his torso was defined with all the right muscles and it made her mouth water to taste his skin.

He crawled back up between her legs and removed her bra and as his mouth enclosed around her nipple she arched her back and moaned out loud. Her fingers went down to his pants and popped the button open along with unzipping his pants.

Her hands slipped into his boxers and gripped his manhood, it was hot and throbbing in her hand as she stroked him.

He let out a low groan and bit down into her flesh as he felt the feeling of a woman’s touch in a long long while. “Do we need a condom?” he asked and she shook her head “No, I’m covered don’t worry”

Pushing his pants down she felt him move up and capture her lips with his own again.

She reached down and lined him up but he pulled away “If at anytime you want to stop just say so” he said and so nodded as he pushed himself into her with both of them letting out a hard moan.

“Move please” she pleaded as her nails dug into his shoulders, his hips moved slightly back before he thrusted in again. He gripped her wrists and pinned them above her head as he started a steady pace making both of them moan out. His mouth latched onto her nipple and she moaned out as she fell over the edge but he didn’t stop and helped her ride through her orgasm.

He kept on thrusting as she moaned and to his surprise she pulled her hands out of his own and flipped them over.

Her hips rolled in time with his thrust and she felt his fingers grip her hips in a bruising force as he kept thrusting up into her.

“I’m close” he moaned out as she moved her hips faster, he sat up and held her close as they both moved in synch until he growled out and she could feel him pulse inside of her. She kept moving her hips until he pulled her down for a bruising kiss.

Both of them were breathing out loud and out of breath, he laid them down and within a few seconds both of them were asleep.

The next morning when waking up she looked to her side and saw the bed empty. Not thinking much about it she got up and showered. Once dressed she looked for her car keys but couldn’t find them anywhere and then realised the stranger from last night took the keys and put it into his bag.

“Fuck I’m gonna be late” she said as she rushed to take a taxi to the BAU.

Once getting there she rushed into the meeting room when her eyes connected with the stranger from last night.

The meeting was awkward as she tried not to look back at him but she could feel him glaring at her.

Once she had her go bag she walked to the elevator where the door was just stopped before it closed.

“You…” Spencer said and I met his gaze with my own. “yeah me” she said back and she saw his glare aimed at her.

��“Was that your plan? Knowing who I am, having unprotected sex with me to try and trap me” he growled out and Amelia laughed out at him.

“Plan? I didn’t even know who you were ‘mr I don’t give names out’, and secondly I am not like that as fore the wanting to trap you and I take it you mean that by getting pregnant you are an asshole” she said as she lifted her shirt and turned her back to him where a nasty scar laid on her soft skin.

“Two years ago I got shot in the field, and they had to remove my uterus and everything else, so no you are safe” she growled out and pushed him aside as she walked out of the elevator.

“What did you do?” Emily asked as she saw Amelia storm out of the elevator from spencer.

“Something I am going to have to apologize for and fix” he said as he saw her walk off to the jet.

“That might take a while, she’s one tough person and doesn’t open up easily” Emily said as they made their way to the jet.

[dragonfire2lm]

Holy shit, reading all of this just felt so damn good. I'm blind in my left eye and need glasses to see through my right, so reading other's experiences with only one functioning eye is...nice.

I thought I might share some of my experiences, because I don't really think too much about it honestly, I just know how things go for me because being half-blind is my normal.

Slopes and uneven ground are the worst. Walking is more than just seeing the ground in front of you, its also feeling it with your feet. When just out and about during the day, I can see just fine, but I do need/prefer stable ground because my depth perception is off and my balance is shit. So when dealing with say, a hill or holes i nthe ground, I take it slower, feel out each step because I can't tell how deep something is by just looknig down at it.

My night vision is also...not a thing, lol! I've gone out at night before, but would have to rely on having a torch (flashlight for you americans) with me and point down at my feet so I can see where I'm walking. For real, one time when I was walking home i nthe dark I accidently stepped onto the curb of the road because I couldn't tell I was veering that close to it, but I course corrected pretty quick. Because of my shit night-vision, we've got a motion-sensor light in the hallway for me, and I have a little lamp in my room for whenever I need to get up in the middle of the night. I don't necessarily need to turn a room's light on to see, I just need enough to tell where I'm going because gonig from darkenss with some light to full on "let me turn the bathroom light on for you" means I need to take like..ten, twenty seconds for my eyes to adjust to the suddenly bright light flooding my vision.

I'm not sure if this next thing is because I'm half-blind, or just a me thing, but I tend to not do well with navigation or cluttered environments. For example, If I need to find a phone on a table covered in clutter, you can see it, its right there surrounded by other things, but its there. I cannot see it, its not in an obvious spot where I could notice it at first glance, there's too many things, even if you point it out to me, I would still have trouble finding it. This applies to video games too! I often get lost in video games, or need my friend to point out something I missied because I just don't notice it amongst everything else.

I hate bright light. I'm very sensitive to bright light to the point most of the curtains in my home are closed, I wish real life had a brightness setting, and sunlight glinting off cars on a sunny day is my own personal hell. I've gotten flashbanged walking into the bathroom a couple of time because Mum opened all the curtains in there for important reasons I can't remember (like, she did close them later on, they are normally closed but sometimes they're open if the windows need to be cleaned or something).

People think I'm more blind than I am at first. When they first learn I can't see out of one eye, they assume I need to have things pointed out to me, like "watch out for the step/curb." when its during the day... I can see just fine, that's what the glasses are for. Yeah I can't see shit at night and will let people know that, but I know what I can and can't do...it's like people take a bit of time to really get the message that only under certain conditions do I need help and can manage the rest of the time perfectly fine on my own.

I prefer to have people walk on my blind side, because that's the side I'm keeping a closer eye on, so its easier for me to walk and talk with someone if they stay at my left.

Let's see what else? I do the head turning thing too! Its way easier and less eye strain to just turn my head towards something to look at it.

With my vision being the way it is I need to be mindful of what videogames I play. Yeah there's the obvious thing of most horror games are out because I would need to crank up the brightnesn super high and its frustrating not being able to see shit, but there's also ui elements to take into consideration. If a game uses small font, or a small hud, that's just eye strain and a headache waiting to happen. I've bought games wheere I;ve had to stop laying them because the console ports just aren't made for people like me who need larger font sizes and ui scaling, and I don't play PC because my laptop isn't a gaming one, and its much more comfortable for me to play console games because my large tv means less eye strain because its a bigger screen.

Speaking of the laptop! I wish most sites were zoom-friendly...like I need to have my web browser set to be zoomed in because again, I need the larger font and ui elements even when browsing the web. Most of the sites I frequent are fine with this (namely tumblr and AO3) but some of the sites i do use aren't zoom firendly and I have to zoom out to use the site properly, and that means tiny font and stress because I have my shit zoomed in for a fucking reason! but no, a lot of sites just don't do well with the fact that I have stuff zoomed in at 90 or 100%, like they weren't desinged to be used with zoom or larger fonts in mind.

I have to write my fanfics with font size 22 or 24 and then scale it down to a more presentable size 16 when I want to share previews of what I'm writing via google docs. Thankfully I don't have to worry about doing this on AO3.

Some of this wound up being a little bit ranty, don't take it too seriously, its just little things that frustrate me sometimes.

Stuff about having monocular vision that people don’t know (in my experience)

1. You only ever sit on one side of a room. (Especially if you’re in class) If you’re blind in your left eye like me, you sit to the left of the room so your right eye has the greatest scope, and there’s not much to your left to look at.

2. Harder time seeing past obstacles. People with two eye vision have the perception of both their eyes blend together for one image. Without this, you only have one eye, so you’re don’t get to see past obstacles the same way. For example if something is blocked for your right eye and not for your left, you can still see it through your left. For people with monocular vision this isn’t possible.

3. People don’t walk on the side of your blind eye. It may just be me, but because I’m blind in my left eye I tend to accidentally bump into people if they’re on my left. So when people walk beside me I naturally go so they’re to my right, or they do, without it being discussed.

4. 3D movies are headaches. Even though we’ve progressed past the red-blue type glasses, 3D just doesn’t work well for monocular vision. (And you know those fun optical illusions? A lot of them don’t work at all- nothing happens!)

5. Things like grabbing a pencil without looking at it are extremely difficult. (Due to lack of depth perception, you have a hard time discerning where things are in 3D space). This also stretches to having bad posture and balance. Meanwhile, things that are flat are relatively easy.

6. You turn your head when you’re looking at something, so your good eye is focused on it. This includes tilting your head at worksheets, TVs, and computer screens- and also people.

7. Seeing in the dark is also much harder, because people rely on their depth perception for it, and without that stuff gets real hard

8. The headaches. Most people with blindness don’t experience total blindness, but instead low vision, where their vision is not able to be used in a way that’s helpful. Your brain tries to merge the images, or use your bad eye to see something in the peripheral. This just makes your head hurt. Much like people who need time to adjust to having glasses due to the headache, getting headaches is common because your vision is always at odds.

9. More susceptible to eye damage. Since you’re not overly aware of your bad eye, you may not notice if the sun is shining directly at it. I tend to squint with my bad eye whenever I’m outside, without thinking about it. Additionally, you’re more wary of anything that could damage your good eye. It’s the only one, so you gotta be careful with it.

10. Also, it makes things really, really weird if there’s a bright light from one side but not from another. There are often after images that float in my vision.

11. Looking at things that are moving can be hard. I can focus on an object, but if a camera is panning in some direction without being focused on one thing in particular, I just stop being able to make sense of what I’m seeing. It becomes very jarring.

12. Sometimes it’s not that your eye necessarily has anything wrong with it, but that your optic nerve isn’t fully connected. So the eye may be healthy, but your brain shut it off, and the connection between the light coming in your eye, and the way the brain interprets it, never fully formed. Funnily enough, I’ve heard that this can cause the connection between your good eye and your brain to be stronger, as it is with mine. For some people it’s the opposite, and it makes both of their eyes worse. Peoples experiences can really differ.

[jokeroutsubs]

[📝ENG translation] 'My Parents Gave Me a Strong Sense of Identity'

An interview with Bojan Cvjetićanin.

Original article written by Teja Roglič for Ona plus, published 05.11.2024. English translation by @kurooscoffee, review by @weolucbasu, proofread by IG Gboleyn123.

Full article and Spotify link under the cut 👇

🎧 Article available in audio form on Spotify.

Last year’s craze at Stožice, summer festival performances, the Eurovision Song Contest, international success. And then everyone asks, what could be bigger, what could be better? But as the band Joker Out releases their new album, they consciously follow the motto "I want less". Singer Bojan Cvjetićanin explains why: "This is our home, this is our base. If we don’t feel good at home, we can’t feel good anywhere. We need to rediscover love in our base, that’s what we told ourselves."

With the song Bluza, you’re returning to love. Why?

We went through a lot. The songs we released after Eurovision dealt with the most acute situational changes in our lives—touring, exhaustion, questioning ourselves. Now, it’s time to have a bit of fun again. And there's probably nothing more beautiful than being in love. (smiles)

I’ve been looking into people’s stories, into the lives of those around me, seeking beauty.

What did you discover?

That I enjoy writing about love the most. When you write from a place of uncertainty, it’s nice to get those feelings out; when you write about love, you search for timeless beats within yourself, not something that’s only fleeting. I write about the ideals of love I held as a child, and in the future, I’ll see how these have either evolved or fallen apart.

It's best to write about love...

When you have a broken heart.

Your Eurovision song was more socially critical, though it might seem, at first glance, to be about joy. In it, you say: "We won’t take part in your games or your divisions." Did the song’s message reach people?

Undoubtedly. A lot has changed in a year and a half, not only personally but also in terms of our views of social issues. For the first time, we've connected with young people from abroad. It was fascinating to see how connected the fans from different countries became, encouraging each other, learning new languages—even a lot of Slovene. The desire for peace and unity is very strong at our concerts, so our messages have touched them. But of course, you can never reach everyone. (smiles)

You mention changed perspectives with regards to society. Have any ideals been shattered?

Many ideals have crumbled. In school, learning about war, it always seemed odd to me that the world could just go on at the same time, despite the ongoing disruption in the system. Now, I see that we have access to all the information, that we see and hear what’s happening, that we witness an influx of people coming from regions where this is happening, yet everything literally carries on as usual.

War has become more of a trend on TikTok or Instagram than something people feel hurt about. This makes me very sad.

A lot of ideals that have shattered relate to the life of a musician. We’ve achieved things we could only have dreamed of—not just as kids; even two years ago, what’s happening now would have seemed impossible to me. But the ideal that’s crumbled is this one: I don’t always know how to appreciate what I have.

On tour, I often slipped into negative thoughts, didn’t appreciate everything happening to us. This links to the idea that this kind of life is easy, that as a successful musician, you only have fun. This, of course, isn’t true; it’s incredibly exhausting, both mentally and physically. I could go on until tomorrow, listing everything that’s fallen apart, but fortunately, a lot of new things have also come to be.

You’re the idols of generations; do you feel pressure because of that? After all, you’re still young guys too…

No. We already lost the childlike joy of music because we had to start working so much so early and get to know so many new systems. If we also take on the responsibility of raising generations of kids, we could truly fall into a black hole.

We need to be role models, but we can’t shape our work around that. On the upcoming album, there’s a song, 'Muzika za decu' ('Music for children'), which touches on this very point. We want to convey that we’re not addressing generations who think all younger people are lazy bums who only hinder the world’s progress. We’re addressing everyone who is young enough at heart to believe in a better world, a brighter tomorrow.

Photo: Vita Orehek

More and more musicians are stopping concerts at large venues when fans are in distress or overcrowding happens. You too?

Absolutely. This summer, we constantly stopped concerts if people were packed tightly indoors or out in the sun. We handed out a lot of water from the stage, and I even paused a concert if some listener (m.) was treating another listener (f.) disrespectfully. A concert is a safe space; there’s no place there for infringing on the rights of others.

That’s an interesting topic I wanted to touch on anyway. So what is the rock ‘n’ roll world of the new generation like?

It’s a lot better. I’m glad we’re not a group of drugged-out dudes living only for today. Carpe Diem really means seize the day, but for us, that doesn’t mean picking every fruit that exists in the world. Waking up healthy and energised, wanting to go to a concert, being open to meeting new people, our fans, being creative...

That’s what it means to seize the day. Sure, sometimes we go on a trip, we do have fun too. But I’m glad that sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll aren’t our guiding principles in the band. When we watched the documentary about Mötley Crüe, we saw how they started with heroin and opiates and ended with smoothies and fruit. Well, we’re already at the fruit and smoothies stage. (laughs)

“We’re constantly building a relationship that gets deeper every day, even though it seems like it can’t get any deeper,” you told me before the Stožice concert, as I was stunned when you said you were going on holiday with the guys right after the concert. How much do you invest in relationships within the band? We know it’s sometimes challenging to nurture a relationship between two people, let alone five.

This is like a partnership with five people. Except for intimacy, all the other elements of partnership are there. We’re companions. We often live together, work together; the dynamics are demanding. I talk a lot about this with fellow musicians. Recently, I was talking to Mr. Vlado Kreslin, and we concluded that being in a band requires a touch of madness.

Even if it ends someday—nothing is guaranteed—I know I have four lifelong friends. We exist as friends even beyond the band.

Success demands hard work; you’ve told me before how sure you were of your path in the band, of your decisions, and how hard you worked to achieve what you have. And we’re back to the topic that some might say your generation isn’t hardworking, that you’re quick to say what you won’t do at the work place...

The young people I know could hardly be described as not hardworking. I’d rather say we’re diligent, and the drive to work comes from the strong pressure that you need to achieve a lot very quickly, or else you won’t make it in this world. As for them being quicker to say no... Maybe they know they can’t live that way if something doesn’t work. And to live is very costly.

Young people feel they don’t have to stick rigidly to one profession, that they can change courses, jobs, and find something that suits them. We’re far from the days when the son was a blacksmith because the father was a blacksmith, and the daughter stayed home as a housewife. But we also have to know that there’s more and more uncertainty, precarious work.

If Gen Z is the way it is, I wouldn’t attribute that to the generation itself but rather to the Boomer generation. Everything that makes life harder for us isn’t the product of our ideas and actions. But it’s also true that sometimes, you need to stop, think, and make a decision. I’d like to do something today, something different tomorrow, but that’s not realistic. When you’re bombarded by choices from all ends, you have to make decisions. If there are three shirts in a store, I’ll pick one; if there are 250, I might end up buying sneakers instead. (laughs)

You performed at a concert aimed at contributing to the best possible care, treatment, and support for women with gynaecological cancer. You probably get invited to participate in quite a few charitable events; how do you choose them? This concert likely wasn’t a hard choice, as both of your parents are doctors...

My father is a gynaecologist, my mother is a pediatrician, so naturally, when I got the invitation, I immediately thought my dad would be happy if I could perform there. Otherwise, I choose events based on two criteria: whether it’s something important and whether I’m home at that time. I've often had to turn down an event I would have really liked to participate in simply because I wasn’t here.

Life has taken you all over in recent years. What have your parents given you that has stayed with you and has been proven most useful today?

They gave me a sense of normality. I'm an ordinary person who takes everything in moderation. I didn’t become a hedonist, nor did I give in to the patterns that the environment might impose. They gave me a strong sense of who I am and what I am, unconditional self-confidence, and self-respect. And the certainty that I’m never alone in anything.

Recently, the dramaturg Nina Kuclar Stiković and I talked about how Generation Z might be the first to actively work through its traumas, though she noted that taking on such responsibility across generations is a huge task. In the end, you might even feel worse. If you only become aware of your baggage but can’t overcome it, it can feel even worse than if you had never been made aware of it at all, she said. What do you observe around you, in your own generation?

Mental health has never been as openly discussed as it is today. I know many people who go to therapy. It’s actually strange that mental health was never treated before, that this stigma existed. If you have a cold, you stay home, you also heal a broken arm. Today's generations have managed to break free from these shackles. The individual is becoming increasingly more important.

People are working through the things in their minds. And this bothers many people from generations who suppressed everything and unleashed their traumas onto others. I often think how unfortunate it is that we don’t practice everyday therapy in our surroundings. Everyone surely has someone whom they trust. We talk about all sorts of things, but we never ask each other how we are and share that honestly. Now, I do this with a few friends, and it’s really nice. I go to my friends for therapy. (smiles)

Nina also mentioned that patriarchy has wronged not only women but men too. It’s unfair that men couldn’t show emotions and always had to be strong. It always helps if you can share your feelings with someone. What do you think?

The Neanderthal perception of masculinity is passé. We can all first tell ourselves, and then tell others, how we feel and what’s going on in our heads.

This summer, you performed at festivals. Now you have a new album, and you’ll be performing at various venues again, with tickets quickly selling out. It's a carousel that never stops. You mentioned earlier that you caught yourself maybe not appreciating it anymore. What do you do now to keep that from happening?

For the tour that’s coming with the release of the new album, we consciously followed the motto, "I want less." Last year, we played in Stožice, before that in Križanke. This year, we toured Europe, and everyone was asking us what big thing we’re preparing next. But we were only talking about how nice it would be to play at Ljubljana's Cvetličarna again.

Pass by Maribor too, go a bit to the clubs in the Balkans, and that’s it. This is our home; this is our base. If we don’t feel good at home, we can’t feel good anywhere. We told ourselves that we need to find love in our base again. I’m glad we recognise this, that we’re not just banging our heads against a brick wall. The purpose of this tour is simply to enjoy it.

A few years ago, you told my colleague Robert Rebolj, my fellow journalist, and your fellow musician, that you’d like to have kids while still young. Yet you also say that you're in a period where several of your ideals have collapsed as you look at the world around you. Does the desire still remain?

When I said that, I was thinking I’d have my first child between the ages of 28 and 30. Then Robert told me that having a child young doesn’t necessarily mean that. (laughs) I see it now, too, as some of my friends already have children, and some even their second. My calendar no longer just has friends’ birthdays, but, for instance, the first birthday of a friend’s child. (laughs) Yes, I think a lot about how this world is in many ways not what I imagined it would be, but I guess it’s always been that way throughout history—things have never been ideal. I think everyone, in every era, has felt the world is going to- hmmm, well, that’s how it seems to me too. (laughs)

[sordidmusings]

WIP TUESDAY - Sugar Daddy Headcanons with Shanks and Garp

Saw Schoute's wonderful art WIP and writing and wanted to join the fun! Have some ridiculous Blorbos as Sugar Daddies headcanons that have been on my backburner LOL I've got Shanks and Garp ready for y'all 🫡 They're pretty much done, I moreso have to fill out everyone else on the list 🤡 No warnings really! Just some allusions to spice but nothing explicit. Lots of silliness. I believe they're gender neutral but I'm going to tag as afab just in case because I fear it may be in the subtext since that's the perspective I wrote it from and the one people generally expect for sugar babies. Might be fun to subvert sometime by writing them with explicitly amab sugar babies. I will Ponder lol I'd also love to see what everyone is working on so please take this as a sign to post something of your own!!

The song I blame for everything (I love u Thot Squad):

“This fine old man, he played three

He can knickknack this coochie

With an Amex black card, get a girl a Benz

Reset and do it again”

Word Count: Shanks ~750, Garp ~400 (sorry about the favoritism Vice Admiral 😬)

Shanks

shanks absolutely pursued this type of relationship with you

Your pretty face and open smile snagged his attention but the way you easily met and fed his energy had him at you like a dog with a bone

He’s no stranger to helping people laugh their way into his bed, but the journey with you felt different. He took extra time simply because each moment with you was too good to keep from savoring

You didn’t hide your attraction at any point but he did appreciate that you would try and prod back at him in good humor to test his will and want

You found he had both in excessive abundance

It felt nice to have someone so attractive, established, feared, and adored seek your company and watch him become more interested with each minute he got of you. It also felt nice to see that while he certainly had an abundance of confidence he held no arrogance with you - he played no games in making you question his interest or to assert his importance to you. He treated you as a person (one he mainly wanted to turn to his bedroom tenant but still-) and it made him feel more like a man than a myth for you both too

And holy hell did you like that man - he made you laugh even if at his own expense, he impressed you when he’d let some of his cunning slip through the jovial pirate shtick, he kept your interest with how he could entertain any topic you brought forward, he made you feel beautiful with the way his eyes and hands soaked you in, and he made you feel wanted with the way he treated everything about you with genuine interest. 

The only thing that made it better is how he made sure you wanted for nothing. The first night it was making sure you didn’t pay a cent for anything, you always had food and drink right before you realized you wanted it, his coat found your shoulders the moment you felt a chill, you found yourself in fresh air right when the heat and the noise of the bar became too much. 

After that it was an endless stream of trinkets, from priceless to silly but sentimental, all coming with letters that had you laughing, blushing, and swooning.

Every time he’d visit you (and it was at first as often as he thought he could manage but that managed to get even sooner and sooner because of his need for you) you’d indulge in each other like it was the first and last time

He stopped wanting anyone else - there were enough people across the seas he had to apologize to after explaining why he’d gasped the wrong name and they were never right to scratch the new insatiable itch he had anyway

When it dawned on him how much you had him wrapped around your finger, not just physically and financially but also mentally, emotionally, and he’s pretty sure even spiritually, he may have had a crisis (the crew was very torn between amusement and true wory watching it unfold, especially when the usual rum and patented Beckman Shoulder Pat with Nod didn't ease his turmoil)

It wasn't because he didn’t want to love you, but he truly never thought he’d ever find someone he wanted and needed the way he does you. It was such a foreign concept to him that he felt like the world had tilted and left everything slightly unfamiliar. Especially coming from a relationship he stapled together with riches. Sure, there was also joy, camaraderie, and intimacy holding it together, but he found it harder to trust that someone such as you wouldn't find someone younger and more present to belong to than to trust that you could need him to sustain a lifestyle of ease and abundance.

If he couldn't be sure you'd want him, he'd try and find solace in you needing him, even if it was only for what he could afford you

When he finally told Beckman of his plight, he was slightly offended by the “it took you this long to figure it out?”

He’s currently trying to figure out how to convince you to live on his ship with him. He needed to let you know you’d be safe regardless of your experience level with the seas or battle. 

He’d bring the world to its knees if anything touched a hair on your head

Luckily for him, you knew. Anyone with eyes would from the way he smiles at you.

Garp

Garp was decidedly not in your plans. Yes, you wanted someone older, someone with wealth, someone with influence, someone who would take care of you, but you thought Gilfs were an urban legend told to see what face it would get out of freshies

You’re not complaining tho

He has certainly convinced you that the rarity of his kind just pointed to what a prized role it was to shack up with one

He was rough around the edges to be sure - brash and loud and stubborn - but he used all those traits to get you both exactly what you wanted

All your needs were met without you having to even think of them anymore (you were surprised that needs in the bedroom were included in that, but you supposed you shouldn’t have underestimated a man who could still punch apart battle ships, nor one with such a lust for eating)

Neither of you had any illusions of sweeping romance

You were more than happy with the care and respect that built between the two of you in your roles, growing with each act of service to each other, each piece of comfort, each unintended moment of vulnerability

Don’t get me wrong, the vulnerability ain’t common; most of your time is this man having fun watching you light up when he took you out and tossed his money around for you before taking you home to have multiple courses of dessert

You’ll never get over his gruff voice and curling accent - they helped your brain turn to mush while he coaxed and praised you through happily giving him everything he wants as a thank you for all his care

That voice along with all that burliness and age, which you thought would’ve been a turn off not on, ended up making you feel small yet so protected

Garp didn’t think he’d enter a relationship like this that went on so long and so easily but any reservation or second guessing was lost the moment he saw you and everything just felt natural

Tho he’d still make jokes that always make you groan about how you keep him young better than his troublesome recruits (that he is stuck between wanting to parade you around to see their jaws drop and wanting to keep you hidden away from any young bucks who may try to get your attention before he’s ready to let you go)

Thank you for reading 😘🤍🤍

Masterlist

[gio-utti]

how are you so good at drawing people's skin!? my feed is like a soap commercial right now from all of your perfect flesh. (also thank you, your work is really nice to look at c: )

FIRST OF ALL THANKS😭💖

And hmm about flesh and skin overally, I think what helped me the BEST to make it look realistic was paying more attention to and managing the cold and warm undertones! I think it started when I saw this thing here for the first time👇

(I have NO IDEA who's the author I'm so sorry,, I have it saved for so long on my phone it got lost💀)

From there I started paying attention to other artists' arts, pictures (better if unfiltered/if people have no makeup on) and started "mapping" where regions should I put each color not only on the face but also the body and here we are😂🙏

I think these illustrate well how I apply (and often exaggerate them, specially the greens) akdjjs and this cold/warm tones apply to all skin colors too btw

The last one is how I distribute it in bodies more or less aoskapskap

The other think yo consider is obviously the skin folds– and for these I also use a lot of refs ORRR take pics of myself if it's something more specific akdnsjs

This may or may not ended up with me having tons of very shameful and ugly pics on myself on my phone😍

BUT THATS IT KANDJS

[rainbowsky]

Heyy rainbowsky. I hope you're doing good. There's something that's been on my mind for a while regarding candies, esp the one regarding their social media and the ones that seem "intentional". Do you think these are directed at each other or to turtles. As a younger turtle I used to think it was for each other and would also see them as a stretch cause I couldn't see the point of putting so much effort in these if they were already together. But as I have taken a break and come back, (older and wiser i hope) and have myself found my footing in my queerness while still being largely closeted, I feel like I'm swaying more towards the latter. That they do this for the turtles, or more so for themselves and their identities. It's makes me think of how i wear a discreet rainbow bracelet as part of my everyday wear, ie, a quiet assertion of who i am to who is willing to see. What do you think about this? Also what do you think turtles represent for them? Do you also think for them, we are an escape from an otherwise homophobic and closeted world? I'd really like to know your perspective.

Hi Chaoticmoonlight! I'm getting by! I hope you're well, too! 😊

Well, these things don't have to be a case of either/or. They can serve multiple purposes at the same time. I think that when it comes to 'declarations of love', or a certain type of social media PDA in their posts (kadian, candies, etc.), it's almost always aimed at each other and at turtles simultaneously, as well as anyone else who knows them for who they are (friends, family, etc.).

If GG and DD want to send a message to each other, they can just pick up the phone. Doing so publicly or on social media inevitably involves an element of self-expression, and likely at times becomes a grander gesture because of the public nature of the message.

If a partner holds your hand at home, it's sweet. If they do it in public there's an added element of 'making a statement', of openly declaring their affection for you. This gesture can become more powerful as the risk of doing so increases.

I agree that it's also a lot like wearing a rainbow flag pin or carrying a rainbow tote bag, or all the other ways queer people express ourselves and show our colors. It's a way of being as open as possible about an important relationship, and about our identities.

I've posted about this a few times in the past. A very common misconception among most people - especially straight people, but even some queer people - is that closeted people will want to do everything in their power to hide their sexual orientation and relationship status/partner. I think this is a very misguided understanding of the closet.

People have a fundamental need to be seen, accepted and validated for who they are. It's not just a 'nice-to-have', it's something people truly need for their survival and well-being. People who don't get those needs met will generally not thrive, and will often suffer in deep and damaging ways.

A lot of people think the closet is a place where people go to stay safe, and therefore it's a 'safe space'. This is so untrue. The closet might be the best option among several bad options, but it's by no means a safe, happy place. It's often a place of loneliness, alienation, grief and pain. People don't generally stay in the closet because they're happy there - they stay there because coming out is more dangerous/scary than staying closeted.

The vast majority of people, if they knew that it was safe to come out, - that they'd be accepted, protected and respected - would do so in a heartbeat. But even from within the closet, there is still that need to be seen and known for who we are. Those needs don't go away just because someone is closeted.

Closeted people will often go out of their way to share as much as they possibly can about who they really are, right up to the line where they'd be fully outed.

Coming out is also not just a 'one and done' thing. It is a gradual process, and one that has to be repeated over and over again as the circle of 'those who know' expands over time. I talked about that in more detail here. The best way I can express it is to say,

people will be as 'out' as they are able to be at any given time.

For some people, being out among friends and family and showing some small under-the-radar expressions of Pride will be their personal safe limit. For others it might just be wearing a rainbow bracelet, or wearing their lover's scarf. That safe limit will often expand or shift over time. Sometimes it will even shrink. There's definitely such a thing as 'being thrown back/deeper into the closet'.

They might not be able to make a post sharing photos from a hiking trip they took together, but they can share enough information to ensure turtles know they took that trip (a special moment for both of them, not just turtles). They might not be able to post boasts and praise about their partner's successes and milestones, but they can in subtle ways express their joy so that those who know, know, and so their partner witnesses their praise. They might not be able to openly put their names side by side on charitable works, but turtles will do it for them.

GG and DD are in the unique position of having millions of people who believe they're a couple. While I'm sure it sometimes makes their experience of being closeted that much more terrifying (considering their relationship is being talked about so openly), I suspect that in most cases it makes their experience of being closeted much more bearable.

It's not just the gesture itself that is sweet. As I said earlier, the public nature of it - the fact that others are witnessing it - adds to the power and significance of it. GG seeing DD wearing a #29 helmet for racing practice on GG's 29th birthday no doubt made GG smile, but it likely also made him doubly happy to see us freaking out over it, and knowing that someone out there knows DD was celebrating him.

As I have said in the past, I feel like turtles probably give them strength as they deal with their day-to-day experience of being closeted and apart most of the time. This is a sentiment LRLG has often expressed, too.

Wishing you strength and support on your journey as well, chaotic-moonlight. There's no right or wrong way to be queer, and no timeline we have to meet. Being closeted in no way invalidates who we are.

Related posts:

Closeted Relationships

Coming Out

What BXG Might Mean to GGDD

About Kadian

Sun Wenjing and coming out in less than ideal circumstances

[doublejango]

I am already seeing virtue signaling posts from people saying "I don't care what you believe or how you voted..."

That's great. I care. I care a lot. The outcome of this election effects me, but so much more than me. I care. It matters. And if it really doesn't matter to you? Good for you. If you are privileged enough, safe enough, and entitled enough to truly not care about how the election will impact other people... I can't even imagine what that must be like. Nice, I guess?

I spent most of last night and this morning crying.

I'm done with tears now, and have moved on to rage.

And you know what? I promise not to let it burn out. Because smiles and positivity may work for many of us, and I'm not going to lose mine either, I promise not to lose my queer joy--they can rip it from my cold dead hands, not to get too damn dramatic here--but I'm also not in the mood to start forgiving and smiling and welcoming Nazis into the bar.

So. I will hold onto anger. I've been tolerant and accepting long enough in life... and have learned something important about what causes the worst harm.

I have been gay bashed before. Violently. Blood. Broken bones. Lost teeth. And you know what the worst part of the recovery of all of that was, the part that did the most psychological and emotional damage? It wasn't the actual bashing itself. It wasn't even the memory of exactly what it felt like to have something swung full force into my face with extremely violent intent. It was the denial from my "friends" and family afterwards. The people who wanted to deny that it was a hate crime. The people who wanted me to shrug it off and not be upset about it. The people who loved to say oh well it wasn't that bad. You know what helped? Letting myself feel fury. Letting myself name the attack as hate. "It wasn't that bad," though, they said, asif it was their judgment to make--endless hours of dental procedures, pain, wounds that never fully healed, the trauma, the lost work, the new experience of vomiting blood with broken jaws and knocked out teeth. Because it wasn't that bad. And there was so much self-reproach, because I could have avoided it. I wasn't the intended target. He was swinging for a lesbian with me. When the attacker burst out of hiding he was swinging for the side of her head, her temple. I jumped in between them. Didn't think. It was an impulse. Protect the people you care about. So I took it to the face. And I grabbed him. I threw him, and fell doing it. I remember being on my knees in the mud. Seeing my teeth in the mud. Seeing my blood just. Everywhere. And knowing I needed to push back to my feet immediately because it might not be over.

We were lucky. It was over. He hadn't expected anyone to fight back. He ran.

But the people who claimed to love me didn't want to deal with the idea that it was a hate crime. They wanted it to be random and meaningless. That made their world a little safer, I guess. And their denial made my world colder. And my recovery lonelier. Harder. They put me down for "bringing it on myself." As if it would have been more virtuous to let this woman take that attack to her temple, as if I would have been more valid for standing by and watching it happen.

There are so many more stories I can tell you, but the lesson is almost invariably the same: the ugliest hurt is often the one caused by the people who just turn away when you identify what happened to you. The hurts that cut the deepest and last the longest often come from the people we thought we could trust, because they want you to just get over it, don't talk about it, admit it could have been worse, don't call it That.

The betrayal from people who are supposed to have your back? That deepens wounds, deepens trauma.

I won't be that person. I won't tell you to smile and turn the other cheek when someone shows you they hate you. Do whatever you need to do to survive--physically, emotionally, psychologically. Just don't give up, and don't let the cowards force you into feeling shame for not giving up and letting the world break you.

Never be ashamed to refuse to break.

Never let someone shame you for choosing strength. For drawing your line in the sand.

I wanted the "exciting" times of my life to be behind me. But they're not--so be it. I'm not going to tone myself down to be safer. I don't care about my own safety anymore. Any self-preservation drive broke a long time ago when it comes to homophobia. I promise to always be ready to fight. To be a queer menace to "polite" society. I promise to be out and loud and gay, to be a shield however I can for those who can't be out, who can't fight back, who can't even speak up because it wouldn't be safe for them to do so. They are valid, too. And I love them. And I will have their fucking backs. I promise to, in my real off-the-internet life, be someone who will always jump in and speak up if I see queer people being harassed or shamed--especially if they're young. I am older. I will fight for my baby gays. I will love them.

And I will never, never put anyone down for refusing to welcome Nazis into the bar. We don't look the other way and quietly tolerate them. Not here.

I may not be around much for the next few days. I need to handle my own shit. My own fury. My own grief. Because right now, there is so much grief.

But I won't be going anywhere.

I will fight to stay.

Whatever it takes.

I'm not giving up.

If I end up on my knees in the mud again, staring at my own blood and teeth, metaphorically or in fucking reality, so be it. I will get back up. And I will keep getting back up. I won't let go of the anger. The spite. And I definitely won't let go of my love for every queer person, the ones I know and the ones I don't, because that love is what will give me strength to get through this. Whatever comes next.

I may not have much sense of self-preservation. But goddamn, I will fight for you.

[fountian-of-youth]

The water was always bitingly cold, no matter how much, how often, Allo swam through it. His kitchen was running low on some ingredients, though, so… It wasn’t optional, to search the Blacksite. It was all too necessary.

What he couldn't have expected, though, was to be met with an all-too-familiar sight. Cats Cradle, the soldier that had attacked him only days previous, along with 2 others.

So it wasn’t alone.

The three were chatting amongst themselves, the one with purple armor and Cradle almost screaming at each other, whereas the one in green was dead silent, leaning into the conversation nonetheless.

There was a locked chest, with what appeared to be ink seeping out of it, along with a collected mass of… research. Just research. Crates worth of it. And all the while, none of them were even looking in Allos direction, seemingly focused on…. Whatever they were talking about. It was hard to listen to them, with just how.. Loud, they were.

(sorry for taking the reins for a sec <:3)

(your good buddy :3)

Allo was puzzled , confused the right word that definitely fit would be bamboozled. He recognized CC easily. He was still sour at how he was treated especially the pain of tongues healing.

He glanced about trying to see if there was a way out besides the watery path he took and not wanting to be busted. He swam slowly going behind the nearest debris hunkering down and trying to see what he could over hear on this group.

He wouldn't stay long but it would be nice to know why the fuck these people were here.

[kaisam]

Some wise words from Hank Green to listen to right now. From the We're Here newsletter.

Hank's election thoughts Hello, It’s a special edition of We’re Here. I’m trying to get my head on straight right now, which I’m sure is the case for you. I remember realizing after the assassination attempt that there was a rationality to my scrolling…I felt like my picture of the future was no longer relevant, and I desperately wanted to have my new one put in place. Of course, scrolling in the hours after a big event doesn’t tend to provide that relief, but it makes sense that I wouldn’t know what else to do. Today, I see people scrolling for similar reasons. Those of us who did not want a second Trump term (it’s a very large majority, but if that’s not you, I’m still glad you like the newsletter) are trying to figure out a bunch of things at the same time: How exactly did this happen? Who should we blame? (whether voters or strategy or candidate or party) What do we do now? I am not a political scientist, so I cannot answer those first two questions for you. I’m sure there will be plenty of interesting analysis coming out of all of the people who think about this stuff for a living and we will never know exactly who was right. But I do have a couple of suggestions for the third thing. First, I’d ask that we all accept that it is normal to mourn an imagined future. I have had this feeling many times in my life, and it is never nice. So, grieve. That is human. Second, do things. I don’t know what those things are, but do things. This morning Katherine said to me, “The trees and the sky and the squirrels and the stars just go on, and that’s what we’ll do.” This reminded me of this bit of an essay on living under the shadow of nuclear war written by C.S. Lewis: “If we are all going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb, let that bomb when it comes find us doing sensible and human things praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts—not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about bombs.” Obviously, Donald Trump is not an atomic bomb. Think whatever you will about him, but if “nuclear war now!” was the other candidate on the ballot, I would vote for Trump! But there is an analogy here. We are asked so often (especially by the internet) to shoulder every burden every day. Let me just say to you, that you do not need to shoulder every burden today. I think we will all be better served if today is for doing things that are close, things that we’ve gotta get done, things that bring joy, things that we care about. My answer to the question “What do we do now?” is simply “anything.” This is not the world I wanted to be in today, but it is not the end of America. Presidents are not dictators. There will be plenty of fights down the road, but some days you fight, and some days you live. I think there’s a pretty good chance that today is for living. We’re here because we’re here, Hank

[the-artist-grimm]

I’ve seen a lot of cotl au’s, but yours is definitely one of my favorites, and probably the cult I would choose to live in if I could.

Thank you! I'm glad you like my Au!!!!! And yeah at least in Anthea's cult, it is pretty safe?

Anthea's a good leader-but it's debatable if they're good as a cult leader. They try to run the cult more like a village than anything. There's sermons to Death of course-Anthea had been praying to him for years prior to even becoming vessel so they were more than happy to start the cult in his name, but outside of Sunday they're not completely mandatory (though everyone still tries to attend just because Anthea's preaching is very gentle/reassuring when compared to the Bishops). And it's only mandatory primarily because Anthea has a strict 'Sunday is Town Hall' rule where after sermon news, suggestions, problems, ect. are gone over, alongside plans for the week.

Narinder questioned their lax methods at first since even Ratau managed to be strict enough to place a divide between him and his cult's roles, but it did prove effective-followers were a lot more willing to put faith in a leader they felt saw them as people as opposed to the Bishops who sacrificed, cursed, and murdered followers left and right. Most had also lost their own villages and towns, so the familiarity was comforting. Narinder also paid more attention to Anthea's way of leading as opposed to other vessels. Usually he would only watch during crusades, sermons, or rituals, but Anthea would start talking to him just casually out of nowhere so often he kinda had no choice but to witness just how effective their kindness was. So different from his siblings...from himself-yet oddly something he grew to respect.

And though Anthea denied it early on, it was also out of their own desire for familiarity too-they missed the feeling of a village community. (plus their self-sacrificial nature made it difficult to be anything but nice to those in their care)

[ceoandslutler]

Shit i hope u get depression then slit ur wrist open u child loving fucktard

On god a drunk driver needs to smash u in between a tree before u rape a kid, you fr need to die

Fucking nasty ass pedo, literally Diddy Jr fucking off urself u pedo cunt

this doesn't really affect me but it's kinda funny how it's not ending. anyway in light of this happening, i would like to remind you that i am a real person.

hi, my name is sayé, im an adult gen z who's currently studying in university. i was born, raised and live in london and have two parents i love a lot. i also have a lot of friends but i used to be badly self conscious when i was a child so i tried to be more confident/reach out to others and ended up making friends with lots of different types of people.

my favourite colour is purple but i also like gray (if you couldn't tell lol). i really like queen esp a night at the opera and a day at the races (my fave albums!!) and have a huge crush on freddie mercury. also im a loser who listens to bts and have their posters in my room next to freddie 😭 i can do a mean serve and play really good tennis so much that in secondary school i was banned from serving during PE. i suck at baking but my best friend is an avid baker (so is my mum). BUT i can cook a delicious minted steak. my mum scolds me for always making my food too spicy. my dad always brings me a red bull whenever he sees me and loves ruffling my hair. my mum and i watch horror movies together every week (but my dad is too scared to watch them). i buy homeless people food whenever i can. i really want a cat but i don't have time for one. my favourite holiday is nowruz but i also love christmas because the street decorations in london are so nice. like most brits, i love princess diana but hate the monarchy. i used to watch "a place in the sun" often (british telly win). speaking of, i adore 5 oclock in the morning by lily allen. it's one of my favourite songs. fun fact i adore playing rhythm games and im really good at mobile ones but suck at osu!, also i may be addicted to dave the diver 😭 i love seafood, esp smoked basa, my mum fries it for me every nowruz (since fish and herb rice is our cultural new years' dish)

here's some of my most recent conversations w different friends that aren't too personal (no hate to law students LMAO)

i am a "normal" person. i live a "normal"* life. if you saw me face to face, you would not say this to me.

*by normal i just mean everyday, obviously norms are just social constructions but ykwim

if you saw a young adult w their friends, you wouldn't have the gall to even approach them.

if you saw me out w my sweet middle aged parents, you would think we're just a happy family.

i am a real human being.

i was part of this fandom since i was a kid. this blog is new but it does not contain anything explicit about fictional children/minors doing sexual acts. because i am not interested in that personally. it doesn't mean i will police anyone who does want to see that kind of content however because fiction is not real.

people telling me to die doesn't hurt me. but that doesn't mean others won't be hurt. my mental strength is not a pass for you to tell me or anyone to die.

i am a real person and so is everyone on this website.

anons need to remember that.

[my-male-my-fucktoy]

Hello Y’all,

Remember I said I was gonna get back to you and tell you about my Halloween with my Bitch. Here it is.

So, this is what I had in mind for him, this picture. So I told him that Halloween was gonna be fun for me for sure but for him I had my doubts. The preparation part might be fun for him, the result of the preparation might not be and the consequences of the end result could be fun or not, that I really didn’t know what to tell him. Before we started, I told him to do some exercice to stretch is body. Like when you do sports. I can honestly say that Dave is in good shape. He plays hockey on a regular basis, a few time a week, yes still. I’m sure he’s in a better shape than many of you young boys out there. I also made sure he didn’t need to go to the bathroom. Told him he was gonna be put in some heavy bondage.

So to help the preparation, I bought a big box of transparent Saran Wrap. I bought a lot of black electrical tape. This is the one I wanna have because it’s shinny. Also, I had to call Mistress Kim, to see if it was ok with her that I use her piggy mask. My goal is to have him wear the mask, roll up some Saran Wrap over his mask and then some electrical tape. In his mouth I have some sort of a gag to keep the Bitch mouth open and to avoid him from talking. Mistress Kim told me it was ok. She also said she would have wanted to see this but couldn’t because she had her own Halloween party. But we set up a meeting for next year. The four of us, would do a fetish Halloween party of our own, and maybe invite others. Anyway, I’m a little bit off the subject.

So, I started with his arm, bend one arm, close his fist together, wrapped some Saran Wrap around his fist, his elbow and arm. In no time one arm was done. Then I did the same thing with his other arm. You see, the reason why I don’t put my Bitch in a chastity cage is exactly for that. By only wrapping his two arms like this, he was having a hard on. Well I have to be honest with you. When we started dating and playing, I often wrapped him up with Saran Wrap. But it was always in a standing position, with his arm by his side, then had him lay down on his back, used, delicately scissors to cut the wrap around his dick and then played with it for a while. So this was, for both of us, a déjà vu thing. Now both arms are done. For my own amusement I put the piggy mask on his Slutty head. That looked nice on him. I’m so thankful for this mask Mistress Kim gave me. My little pink piggy pet was mines to observe and love. Yes, I may love humiliating him, but this Bitch is still mine.

Now the legs. Well, this ain’t as easy as it was with the arms. Legs don’t bend that easily and especially not in that position. So I was not able to bend the leg and apply the Saran Wrap. I didn’t want to use the tape because that ment directly on his skin and that is not good. (When you play, make sure you always play fair and secure. You don’t want to hurt the slave in front of you. Some people may have harsh reaction to the contact of the tape on their skin. That would also mean the tape being on the hair of his legs which mean, hurting him when I remove the tape. That’s not the type of pain we like and/or the type of humiliation. He may be my fucking Bitch, but he’s still my husband. And I wanna keep him. I still have some respect for him). So, for his legs, I used a two sided tape, one that doesn’t stick to his leg. (You can find this kinda tape in any sex shop. It’s widely used for the same effect, it doesn’t hurt the slave and give this same shiny look). It was my plan b. I thought I might need to use it. With that tape, I was able to wrap him up. So I did his second leg, with the same tape and the Saran Wrap. I took pictures along the way, I wanted to have them for me but also for him to see in what predicament he was in. But I don’t really need to film it since I have my cameras filming everything.

Now the funny part started, and I mean, the funny part! 😂. I rolled him on his side, inserted a small vibrator in his a slutty ass, rolled him back on his back and open the vibrator to a medium vibration. He started moving and moaning. My Bitch loved it. Then I used the gag piece in his mouth to keep it open, and wrapped his head in Saran Wrap. Of course I made sure he was able to breath. He was still moaning.

(That’s one thing ladies, I would recommend you to do with your slave. Teach him to moan the way you like it. I like to hear him moan like this….ahhhhh. Some will prefer like this …ohhhhh, and others like this….argggggg. I prefer moaning than groaning. It’s better music to my ear. So, since we are together he now only moan my way.)

So, my Bitch is now in complete bondage. Now all I have to do is apply the black electrical tape on him. But before I did that, I decided to have some fun with him. I insert a small dildo in his mouth, also put two nipple clamp on his nipples, not to hurt him, not at this point. Right now, my slave is in heaven. I know it by his breathing and moaning. He twist his body with pleasure and moan loudly. I then took a piece of fake fur and started masturbating him. I thought he was in heaven before, now hes even more. I go slowly, and with every stroke I feel he’s ready to jerk off. So I whispered in his ear: « don’t you dare cum you fucking stupid cunt. I’m the one having pleasure here, not you ». That meant more control for him, and I knew this was gonna be it, the way he was gonna cum after almost two months. I then removed the clamp on his nipple and started licking, kissing and nibbling his nipples. My Slut was moaning very loudly. So I decided that the black tape was not gonna be put on him, at least not now. This was way too much fun for both of us.

I’m having a blast. Seeing my Bitch like this, feeling his pleasure, earring it even, his full body and mind in convulsions. I mean, what can I ask more? So I continu masturbating my pig. I continued licking his nipples and with the other hand, I made him suck the dildo. Of course, along with that I humiliated him non stop. Plus, not to forget, he had a vibrator in his Slutty ass I was playing with, switching from medium to high to extreme high to different level not always in a continuous level of speed. This was one of our best sexual session we never had in a long time.

Did I say the funny part?

Well, my slave was having convulsion, his body was jumping each time I turn the vibrator to high and extreme high position. Then I brought it back to medium, then high, and so on. As his body was jumping, his moaning slowly shifted to groaning, that’s when I know he’s about to cum. I gave him my ok to cum, but my humiliation turned into degradation and insults. Then I turned the vibrator to high and that when he started twisting his body in a weird way. But the groaning changed to some kind of pain groaning. It was the first time I heard him like this. His body was twisting and I felt he was moving a feet more than usual. That’s when I knew something was wrong. So I quickly removed the dildo in his mouth. But the poor guy was still not able to speak. So I teared the Saran Wrap, pulled on the gag, thank god it was not tied up behind his head, and removed the gag.

But what a good boy I have. Even in pain, he ask, with difficulty, perm…..ishhh….ion to ssss…peack… Mis…..arggg….tress……ahhhh? So of course I said yes. He said….huge cramp…on …..my left….arrggg…..foot 😬. He was saying that while twisting his body and with a vibrator on high up his ass! I start laughing 😂, probably from relief it was only that. But it was not funny for him 😰. For me, his left foot meant the opposite leg, which also meant more difficult for me to reach. So I leaned over him, my weight on him, forgetting about the vibrator but because of my weight on him, the vibrator was sliding deeper inside him. His body was twisting in every direction not helping me. So I was able to remove the Saran Wrap, then I cut the tape with much difficulties because he was moving, even if I asked him not to and because I had to use scissors. When I released his leg, I moved up from his body. He tried to stretch his leg but couldn’t. (Well, here’s the thing. I have my slave sleep in a cage in a small bedroom in the basement. I gave him a single size bed, because I know winter is coming and I don’t want him to sleep on the floor. He could sleep on the floor of his cage, because I arranged it so it could be possible, but at the same time, it’s no big deal to me if he sleeps on the bed. So that single bed is a pushed on the wall because that room is very small and the cage takes some place in the room). So he was not able to stretch his leg because of the wall. So now, I have to roll him my way to able him to stretch his leg, which he was finally able to do. But you probably know, that one of the best way to remove a cramp from a feet or a leg, is to stand up on it, but that was gonna be very difficult. So I pushed on his feet to try to do what the standing position would have done on him. But that didn’t work. He was in heavy pain. I could see the stretch tendon under his feet. So I rolled him, pulled him, pushed him so that his body was now perpendicular to the bed. He was finally able to put his foot on the ground. It helped but not entirely. So I pulled him and tried to hold him in a standing position. On any normal situation, I would have been able to hold him from under his arm, but not this time! So he was standing on one foot, with me holding him anyway I could. And the cramped slowly went away. When it was all over, he turned around at looked at me, thanking me a lot and then said: Mistress, would it be ok for you to stop the vibrator in my ass? I stood there two seconds, just looking at him and tried to stop it, but the remote control was too far away on the floor for me to reach it. So I removed it with my fingers and dropped it on the floor as it was vibrating on high position and jumping on the floor. We both start laughing hard 😂🤣😂. The situation was rather unique and bizarre🤷‍♀️. I then helped him lay down on his back to relaxe. He was in so much sweat 😰. So we stopped the session right there. I remove everything as he was getting a second cramp in his second leg. In no time he was up on his legs. We are no longer in our twenties or thirties, it shows!

We sat down, and laughed some more 😂🤣😂. I kissed him on the mouth, like a real kiss, something I didn’t do with him for the last two months. Well I cannot just do a normal kiss like a regular couple, so as I kissed him in a very romantic way, and I pinched his nipple. He started laughing. He said, of course you’ll be you for ever! I told him I was sorry he didn’t cum. But it was not my fault and he had to wait some other time. I saw the deception in his face. But he knew better not to argue. Don’t worry friends, I have an idea for him to cum.

Although, I have to say, I’ve been nice to him by allowing him to sleep in my bedroom, on the floor of course but next to my king size bed. I don’t remember if I told you my slave is a fur fetishist. We have a king size fur blanket. I gave him the fur to sleep in it. He rolled himself in it and fell asleep right away. The next day, I’ll spare the details, I allowed him to see the video of the camera in his room. He knows it’s there, he saw it, but he never saw the vision it has. So we watched the video and laughed some more.

Hope you liked my true story. As always, all my stories are real, nothing fake.

Please comment my story if liked it and do not hesitate to message me in private, male or female. Of course I prefer chatting with Mistresses. But for now, I allow everyone.

Take care y’all.

Jill

[therealcocoshady]

So I was thinking if you’re taking requests maybe a Em x reader where she’s plus size, they’ve been friends for a while and someone makes a comment making fun of her weight or how Em would never be with someone like her & reader overhears Em’s confession/response? In need for a happy ending type of fic.

Kinktober - Day 20 - Size Difference

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

A/N : thank you for your request ! I think it fights right with the Kinktober Day 20 prompt, which is « Size Difference ». I hope you enjoy it 💕.

CW : Size difference - Plus sized reader - Fluff

The dining room was warm and buzzing with laughter and chatter as the evening settled into its comfortable rhythm. Marshall sat beside you, leaning back with that familiar, laid-back posture, fingers idly tapping the edge of his glass as he listened to some story being told across the table. You felt a flicker of contentment just sitting beside him, enjoying the moment. You loved a good dinner party : great food and good company. It was even better when Marshall was around : his humor and playful remarks were always the cherry on the cake. The two of you had been friends for years, your bond built on banter and that magnetic, unspoken understanding. There was a spark, sure, but you had always kind of danced around it, knowing it was always there, like a half-breath between you. It was playful and fun but, at the end of the day, he was him and you were, well, you. And even though you sometimes thought of how great it might be if the friendship turned into something more, you were simply grateful to be in his presence.

At one point during the dinner, you excused yourself to step outside, needing a breath of fresh air and maybe just a moment alone. As you headed for the balcony, you didn’t realize that your absence would become the focal point of a conversation you’d never intended to overhear. Marshall was taking a sip of his drink when he heard one of his friends, that you had not crossed paths with too often, chuckle, glancing toward the door you had just passed through.

“So, uh, what’s the deal between you and Y/N?” the guy asked, with that tone that conveyed his thought on your friendship, probably deeming unlikely. After all, most people wouldn’t expect one of the most successful rappers to be such good friends with a female, much less one that did not look like a Victoria’s Secret model. Marshall’s brow furrowed at the question. “We’ve been friends for a while. Why?” The guy shrugged, giving a half-smile. “Nothing, man. I’m just surprised. Thought you’d go for, you know…” He motioned vaguely with his hand. “Someone more your…size.”

Marshall’s eyes narrowed, but the guy kept going, oblivious. “Look, she's nice, sure, but I mean— she might get the wrong idea and think there’s something there. And, well, she’s not exactly…. In your league, you know what I’m saying?” A heaviness dropped in your chest. You didn’t mean to overhear a conversation you were obviously not privy to. You could feel your eyes starting to burn. How humiliating. You’d left your seat for a minute and people were making fun of you. Right when you thought you were having a great time. You stayed on the balcony, looking away, pretending not to hear anything, hoping the conversation would end soon, so that you could go back to your seat and pretend that nothing happened. You didn’t see Marshall glance toward the balcony door. “Yeah,” Marshall said, his tone cold, “you’re right.”

You could feel your heart drop. Of course you knew that Marshall was out of your league. Anyone could see that. And you knew he knew it too. But to hear him acknowledge it, as simple as that, it still hurt. You would have hoped he’d at least defend you and say what a great friend you were. You could feel a lump form in your throat, before he continued. “She’s way out of my league.” Marshall’s voice softened as he glanced back toward the balcony door. “She’s the kind of woman who’s smart and hilarious, who’s real and doesn’t fake a damn thing. She’s gorgeous and incredible and—well, you wouldn’t get it. Someone like her?” He paused, letting the words sink in. “She’d never go for someone like me.”

The guy stammered, clearly at a loss for words. “But I mean, what is it that you actually see in her?” Marshall shook his head, a glint of disbelief in his eyes as he looked his friend square in the face. “What do I see in her?” He gave a small laugh. “Everything. I mean, have you seen her?”

You thought you were about to cry from the humiliation, but then you heard Marshall’s voice, steady and honest, filling in every corner of doubt she’d ever had. By the time he finished, your cheeks felt hot. There was a moment of silence and you decided to come back. You took a deep breath, calming your nerves, and approached the table, quietly slipping back into your seat beside him. Marshall glanced over, flashing her that signature, knowing smile, like you were his favorite person to see across the room. The conversation switched to another topic, moving on to some workplace gossip.

Without a word, you reached under the table and found his hand. His fingers stilled for a beat, then curled around yours, his thumb tracing a gentle pattern on your skin, like he’d been waiting for this moment as much as you had. He looked over, and your eyes met, a silent understanding passing between you, deeper than words. “Out of your league, huh?” You whispered, your voice a mixture of teasing and something softer, more serious. He squeezed your hand gently, his demeanor oddly calm though you could see a flicker of anticipation in his eyes. “Way, way out of my league,” he murmured, a slow, genuine smile spreading across his face.

You both focused on the table conversation, but neither of you could actually keep your attention from straying to the connection between your hands, fingers gently toying and tracing each other. Every once in a while, Marshall’s thumb would brush across your knuckles, a delicate and unhurried stroke that sent little shivers up your arm. You bit your lip, suppressing a smile, feeling your cheeks warm under the subtle, unspoken affection radiating from him. At one point, he leaned back casually, still holding your hand beneath the table, and threw in one of his usual sarcastic comments at something one of your friends said. But as he spoke, he lightly drew circles against your palm, his fingers grazing yours with a mix of playfulness and tenderness. It felt like a secret only the two of you shared, a silent language spoken in touch instead of words. You risked a glance at him, your eyes catching his for the briefest moment. He was mid-sentence, but when he saw you look, he shot you a crooked smile, raising one eyebrow in that mischievous way of his. He gave your hand another gentle squeeze, like he was saying, ‘I’ve got you.’

Your friends seemed oblivious, absorbed in their own conversations, while you and Marshall seemed to exist in your own bubble, a world of hidden smiles and quiet gestures. With each minute that passed, your confidence in this unspoken connection grew, and your touches became bolder. His hand slipped down to your wrist, feeling the steady rhythm of your pulse, while you traced your fingertips along the callouses on his, each touch a little thrill that left you wanting more. By dessert, you were leaning in just a little closer, your shoulder brushing his as you exchanged quick, playful whispers and comments about the evening’s conversations. The closeness of him, the warmth of his hand in yours, all made your heart pound in a way that was intoxicating.

Finally, as the evening wound down, people beginning to gather coats and say goodbyes, Marshall gave your hand one last squeeze, holding your gaze in a look that spoke volumes. As you stepped into the elevator, the doors sliding shut, the quiet tension that had been building all night seemed to close in around you. The moment you were alone, it was as though the air became charged, the silence between the two of you suddenly thick with every unspoken word and lingering look you’d shared at the dinner table.

You leaned back against the wall of the elevator, your breath catching as Marshall took a step closer. His gaze roamed over you, clearly taking in the way your dress hugged your curves, accentuating every line, every dip. He looked at you like he couldn’t tear his eyes away if he tried, and your pulse quickened, your body responding to the heat in his stare. He raised a hand, his fingers brushing along your cheek, trailing down to your jaw, gentle but deliberate. His voice was a low, warm rumble, barely above a whisper. “You’re so damn gorgeous, you know that?” You felt your cheeks flush, your lips parting, but before you could say anything, his mouth was on your, soft but insistent. The kiss was slow at first, like he was savoring every second, his hand slipping around to the back of your neck, holding you close as he deepened the kiss.

Your hands found their way to his chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his hoodie as you pulled him closer, letting yourself get lost in the feeling of his mouth against yours, the warmth of his body pressing into you. She could taste the faint hint of Diet Coke on his lips, feel the steady beat of his heart against your fingertips, and it made your head spin. Marshall’s hands slid down, resting on your hips, pulling you against him, his touch possessive yet tender. His lips moved to your jaw, then to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses that made you melt against him, your breath coming quicker with each soft, lingering touch. “You have no idea…” he murmured against your skin, his voice thick with desire. “No idea how beautiful you are.”

His hand traced down your side, following the curve of your waist, fingers exploring every dip and line as though committing you to memory. You arched into him, your own hands roaming up to his shoulders, feeling the strength in him, the tension just beneath the surface. When he looked at you again, his eyes were filled with an intensity that made your knees weak. He brushed a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his thumb grazing your cheek as he leaned in once more, capturing your mouth in another kiss that was deeper, needier. The world outside the elevator ceased to exist; there was only the warmth of his touch, the soft hum of the elevator, and the way he made you feel, like you were the only woman in the world.